['Someone stole one of my pigs.', 'You too? One of mine died from food poisoning recently. What are you going to do?', 'Nothing, I use them to get rid of evidence.  I am so upset about it.']
You know what they say, don't you? You can always buy a new pig - just don't, under any circumstances, involve the cops
Someone stole one of my pigs.  I am so upset about it.