['I had plans to go out with friends the other night and then my mom called me to tell me she was having all our family over for dinner and I was expected to be there. I told her about my plans and she said to change my plans. She does not understand.', 'So, did you go to her dinner, or do what you had planned?', "I went to the dinner and then left a little early to go out. She wasn't happy, but maybe next time she will plan better."]
I find that they don't respect you until you start telling them no.
My mom called me at the last minute to tell me she was having all the family over for dinner and she was expecting me to be there. I told her I had plans that night and she told me I should change my plans.