['I took the garbage to the road last night and the bag burst. Got nasty stuff all over my shirt.', "Ugh, that's the worst!  Bright side - at least you weren't far from home that you were able to clean everything up, right?", 'No, my garbage can is 2 miles away. The smell was so strong that a herd of possums jumped me on the way back.', "*blinks*  One, I didn't know possums travelled in herds and two, I am only hoping your day didn't get worse from there?", "Oh, but it did. When I was almost there...ALMOST...a gaggle of ravenous hobos shanked me. I'm not sure why, but it happened, I swear."]
Bless it!  And you survived all of that to tell the tale!  And all of this over a busted garbage bag!  We gotta get you a better brand of garbage bags, friend.  :)
I took out the garbage yesterday. The bag exploded as I took it to the street. It was so gross.