['So I was coming home last night kinda late and It was really dark outside my house..', 'There are some apps that allow a friend to follow your progress as you home. Will that make you feel safer?', 'well what happened is i was putting my key in the door and this duck scared me half to death']
Ducks are scary, but they are more scared of you than you are of them.
So I was coming home last night.. kinda late.  It was really dark and then a duck scared me to death.