I paid a lot of money for this new printer and it doesn't work
Man I bought this stupid new printer.  I paid a lot of money for it.
user
That sounds like a bummer, what brand?
assistant
Brother.  It's a laser printer.   For some reason it don't work.
user
Too bad you don't have a pond you can throw it into.
assistant
Oh.  What a coincidence.  I actually do!!!!
user