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KLATOVY, Czech Republic — Janna Graf, a junior guard on the Yale University women's basketball team, was one of four players with at least eight points and one of two with six or more rebounds to help lift Germany to an 83-64 win over Bulgaria in the final game of the U-20 European Championship.
With the win, Germany finished in second place in Division B, earning a promotion into Division A for the 2013 European Championship. Germany finished tied with Hungary with 14 points, but earned the silver medal because of its 76-71 win over Hungary on Friday, a game that saw Graf tally seven points and four rebounds. Greece was the top overall finisher in the tournament, while Hungary finished third. All three teams earned promotion to Division A for next year's tournament.
Against Bulgaria on Sunday, Graf finished with eight points on 3-of-5 shooting and 2-of-3 from the free-throw line. She also had six rebounds, four on the offensive end of the floor.
Graf earned valuable experience playing in her first games at the international level, and she made the most of her time on the floor. She averaged 15.6 minutes per game in the eight games of the European Championships. She scored a total of 41 points, averaging 5.1 points per game. She also grabbed a total of 27 rebounds, including 16 offensive rebounds, averaging 3.4 rebounds per game. She dished out eight assists, an average of 1.0 assists per game, and recorded five steals (0.6 steals per game).
She shot 42.1 percent in the tournament (16-of-38 shooting), 3-for-12 from 3-point range (25.0 percent) and 6-of-9 from the free-throw line (66.7 percent).
In her final four games of the tournament, Graf scored 30 points (7.5 ppg.) and grabbed 17 rebounds (10 offensive rebounds), averaging 4.3 rpg. in the four games.
Graf ranked 15th among all players in offensive rebounds (2.0 orpg.).
Graf will return to New Haven this week to rejoin her Yale teammates and begin her junior year of school.
For more information and for complete stats from the tournament, check FIBA Europe's website.
Report filed by Jon Erickson Jr., Yale Sports Publicity


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EPA Approves Dow's POWERCORE Corn Trait
Farmers need superior technology to feed a growing world, and Dow AgroSciences LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of The Dow Chemical Co., continues to provide it through products like POWERCORE, a new corn trait technology, that just received registration from the EPA. This innovative trait technology will provide the latest above-ground insect protection in corn via three different modes of action. POWERCORE Refuge Advanced will be launched as early as the 2015 growing season.
It will be offered as a refuge-in-the-bag product for planting convenience and refuge compliance, and will be stacked with the latest in herbicide-tolerant technology, pending regulatory approvals. Corn growers can expect to see POWERCORE in future demonstration plots. Dow AgroSciences previously launched POWERCORE in Brazil and Argentina in 2012, and the product is excelling in the marketplace as farmers look for sustainable solutions that help them maximize yield.
"Having product options is important to corn growers, and POWERCORE will be an outstanding choice for growers looking for superior above-ground pest control," says Ben Kaehler, U.S. Seeds general manager, Dow AgroSciences. "POWERCORE will control a wide range of yield-robbing insects so growers can get the most out of every corn acre."
Complementary to the company's SmartStax technology, POWERCORE will offer the broadest above-ground spectrum of insect control available, multiple modes of action for improved efficacy, and be offered in the latest and most elite genetics. A 5% refuge in the Corn Belt and 20% in the Cotton Belt is another key attribute farmers will appreciate.

subset: commoncrawl


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2009-08-06 / Birth Announcements
Jaden George Hauth
Baby Boy Jaden George Hauth was born July 22, 2009, weighing 8 lbs. 5 oz., to parents Kris Costella and Jim Hauth of Carmel, to maternal grandparents Bobette and Ed Larsen of Carmel and Jeane and Gene Costella of Yorktown Heights, and to paternal grandparents Madeline and Richard Hauth of The Villages, FL.
The full version of this story is available only to subscribers. Subscribe now to access to full versions of news stories in our archive of over 12,000 stories going back to 1999.


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BlogHer, Inc. Joins Top 100 U.S. Web Properties; Ranks Number One for Concentration of Women(March 19, 2012)
BELMONT, CA -- (Marketwire) -- 03/19/12 -- On the eve of hosting its second annual event for entrepreneurial women, BlogHer, Inc., the premium cross-platform media network and publisher for women, has entered the ranks of the Top 100 Web Properties in the U.S. according to comScore Media Metrix (February, 2012).
As a Top 12 Community Lifestyles network and the fourth largest Food network in the U.S., BlogHer enjoys the highest concentration of women visitors among the top 100 websites, surpassing Google, Facebook and Pinterest (ranked #36, #33, and #2, respectively).
"We are thrilled to mark this milestone for BlogHer and our network of 3,000 blog communities," said Elisa Camahort Page, Jory Des Jardins and Lisa Stone, BlogHer co-founders. "We are proud to support our partners leading these communities, who embody the entrepreneurial spirit every day."
Stone, who serves as BlogHer's CEO, added, "BlogHer and our publishers work hard every day to earn not just the readership, but the trust of our communities. We believe it is this trust that has powered our growth into one of the top networks in the U.S."
For more information on reaching the BlogHer Network of influential women, please visit:
To review BlogHer's recently released 5th Annual Study on Women and Social Media, please visit:
For more information about BlogHer Entrepreneurs '12, taking place March 22-23 in Santa Clara, CA, please visit:
About BlogHer:
Reaching 37 million women each month (Nielsen Site Census, December 2011) and a Top 100 U.S. web property (comScore), BlogHer (http://www.blogher.com) is the leading cross-platform media network created by, for and with women social media leaders. BlogHer developed and leads the marketplace with the most robust economic and networking opportunities for women in social media and brands seeking to engage in authentic and persuasive dialog with them. Founded in February 2005 by Elisa Camahort Page, Jory Des Jardins and Lisa Stone, BlogHer publishes and syndicates news, information, advice and recommendations to and from 3,000 premium blogs, delivers uniquely insightful research on women in social media across interest areas, hosts the world's largest conferences for women in social media and curates a daily news service, BlogHer.com. BlogHer's investors are Venrock, Comcast Interactive Capital, and Azure Capital Partners.
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Lego Robot Plays Tetris 94
But THIS is why I read slashdot. All that other news stuff is just fluff.
Funny? Try Insightful. This article is pure, geeky goodness.
At least until those damned duplos fanbois show up... >:(
Or even worse -- the MegaBlocks fanbois.
c'mon, i compared a lego kit with nearly the same specs as a megabloks kit, and it was twice the price.
plus, there's no halo lego kits [google.com]...
Yeah. But Megabloks don't connect together nearly as well as Lego, nor do they hold up as well over time. They're cheaper because they're inferior quality.
i compared a lego kit with nearly the same specs as a megabloks kit, and it was twice the price.
In other news, mechanically reconstituted bollockburgers of vaguely mammalian origin cost half the price of decent fillet from a verifiable species.
Your geek powers are weak
http://starwars.lego.com/ [lego.com]
But THIS is why I read slashdot. All that other news stuff is just fluff.
And if you read Hack A Day, you could have read about it 5 days ago...
http://hackaday.com/2010/04/15/mindstorm-plays-tetris-for-you/ [hackaday.com]
-- Dave
A robot doesn't "aspire" to anything. They're frigging electronics, metal and plastic.
Don't anthropomorphize them, they hate it when you do that.
This has to be the collest story I have read in weeks, and all you can do is critize a tounge in cheek comment?
Yes, and we can criticize your spelling as well. You misspelled half of the multisyllabic words in your post, plus a monosyllabic word.
Well played
But the chemical composition of human beings changes that? You do know that your brain simply processes electrical signals right, and that we've made great strides in using man made robotic components to send signals to the brain, thus furthering the notion that we are not all as different as you seem.
Yes - we've heard it all before, they just run programs. What if we manage the impossible taks of reverse engineering all the things that make being human into a mathematical algorithm and have a robot run the
I dunno. Depends on where you're coming from. If you're a believer in some religions, then no, it's not a life because it doesn't have a soul. But if you're an atheist, then it could be, except it doesn't "die". So I dunno.
I do know that dogs and cats have souls. Some humans don't.
If I found someone who faithfully followed a religion to that end, I would argue that I don't see why a Robot couldn't have a soul.
I agree with you. It's one of the reasons I was turned off of religion at a very early age. (Was told that my dog that had just died didn't have a soul so it wouldn't be in heaven when I made it.)
WTF, preacher!?! Excellent job, "tending" your flock.
But if you're an atheist, then it could be, except it doesn't "die".
That is not dead, which can eternal lie.
Yet in strange ovens, I could bake a pie.
-- H.P. Lovescrust.
i think you got some... cooking mama.. in your... lovecraftian horror?
*headdesk* i need some sleep.
I do know that dogs and cats have souls. Some humans don't.
You do know that dogs and cats are engineered to get along with humans, by humans, don't you? So if they have a soul, then we have created it. Actually I'll stop fucking about - that comment is moronic beyond all categorisation. You have set yourself up to judge which entities have souls, it just happens to coincide with animals that we've bred to live alongside us, and excludes some "nasty" humans in your opinion.
IMO... Dogs and cats don't hav
You do know that dogs more than likely domesticated themselves right? And that cats, according to a lot of scientists and behaviorists, aren't really even domesticated at all?
You also do realize the above comment you're referring to was a "throw-away" comment on an article about a stupid tetris playing lego machine? Right? If not, not really my concern. Moronic comment? Please. I can do much much worse.
IMO... Dogs and cats don't have souls. People don't have souls. Arguing about souls does not actuall
there's the biological definition of life: a few simple rules that apply to (nearly) all that we know of as "living".
- it has dna
- it reproduces (and can produce at least grandchildren)
- it takes in substances and processes it into other substances for nourishment
- something something
- ???
- profit!
well, my bio teacher explained that away with that it has to qualify for MOST of the rules he named, and mules didn't really come up. virii/viruses did, though.
I do know that dogs and cats have souls.
Yes, they have R-souls, or they wouldn't be able to shit.
Screw that, I'm hedging my bets by being cool with them now. When the first machines finally become sentient, I'm hoping that they'll recognize that I was their bud all along and not just rip my limbs off like the rest of their former slave masters.
Let's work together on this. I'll cover the falling part, you find a way to make the rows disappear.
It won't be gray goo, then. It'll be jagged rainbow-colored goo that clacks and clicks as it pursues you to disassemble you into your constituent bricks.
You know, I didn't mean to make that rhyme, but why not?
Anyway, I think you have nothing to fear from the impending macrotechnology* apocalypse unless you, or your property, are made of Legos.
*You can't call it nanotechnology; have you seen how big those bricks can get?
Anyway, I think you have nothing to fear from the impending macrotechnology apocalypse unless you, or your property, are made of Legos.
I'm pretty sure our LEGO overlords can figure out how to make plastics out of biomass. It's all hydrocarbons, right?
We had a self-replicating automoton a long time ago. It's called cc [bytes.com].
I don't know, but I'm using my lego robotics to cheat at Pokemon. [youtube.com] This is physical, because it's creating artificial motion to pump up my Pokemon-pedometer ("Pokewalker"), thereby circumventing a device designed to get lazy people to move their lazy asses. Who needs exercise when you have SCIENCE!
That's the thing about robots. You can make them play with themselves and they can't figure out how to win.
That's the thing about robots. You can make them play with themselves and they can't figure out how to win.
Sometimes they learn to lie about winning, though. "I found 'food'" "Ha, it's really 'poison'. Losers!" *beep*
http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/08/01/19/0258214.shtml [slashdot.org]
On a closely related note, here's another video of a tool-assisted playing of Tetris, with an interesting mystery to it:
Clicky [youtube.com]
It won't make sense at first, but once you get it, you'll see a little more art in the art of video games.
Ryan Fenton
Doing that is actually a special rank in Tetris The Grand Master.
This is a (probably expensive) DSP decoding the video and then the lego robot figuring out how to move. Give that robot some vision of its own, and I'll be more impressed.
Pretty lame. You have a game that is basically some blocks that are placed somewhere. Lego is a a toy that places blocks some place. Wake me when tetris is not on the screen, but actual lego.
(OK, I am just jealous)
I've thought about this back in the days of Pacman and Defender about the feasibility of creating a machine with vision and mechanical access to the controls of a game if it could be taught to play indefinitely (at least for the games that had no real end).
I don't think this is the first time it has been applied to Tetris. But it shouldn't be hard to solve Space Invaders. Asteroids would be an interesting challenge. A computer playing Centipede perfectly would be very impressive (if it had to physically spi
I don't think this is the first time it has been applied to Tetris. But it shouldn't be hard to solve Space Invaders.
Tetris has been solved [wikia.com], though not the older version from 1985 seen in the video.
It'd be interesting to make a bot like this that plays MMOs or something equally repetitive -- is that against terms of service? How would they know?
I remember making a "robot" to beat Ruby Weapon in FF7, which consisted of a coffee cup pressing the X button -- the fight took 2 hours thanks to summon animations.
It'd be interesting to make a bot like this that plays MMOs or something equally repetitive -- is that against terms of service? How would they know?
I remember making a "robot" to beat Ruby Weapon in FF7, which consisted of a coffee cup pressing the X button -- the fight took 2 hours thanks to summon animations.
Wouldn't that just attack? No summons no inv and you would get owned? Plus I mean if you wanted to cheese an optional boss that was just there for you to have fun with there are many ways to end the fight quickly. Lucky 7s, Vincent bug, etc.
Nope. You put cursor on "memory". You let every party member die except 1. After the you have one party member left, you use the materia allowing you to multisummon. The first summon puts the boss to sleep (hades? It's been a while) but does little damage. 2nd summon does damage of your choice (bahamut? Doesn't matter really. You could actually beat it with just hades, but it does so little damage...)
Mime. With sufficient haste, you can then simply mime again for the rest of the fight. Ruby never
I misspoke. You actually use hades second. First summon does damage, then he's immediately put to sleep by hades.
Sorry folks, but while I'm a total n00b when it comes to robots, I believe I could come up with a much better Tetris solving programm in a single day. Is it just me or is that bot really bad at Tetris?
Of course it can be solved with a simple algorithm. Using peripherals made for humans, of course makes it harder, but in this case not very much.
Anyone know anything about the AI behind this? Tetris is NP-Complete, so how is it solving it?
"The following is not for the weak of heart or Fundamentalists." -- Dave Barry


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(photo courtesy of vanillabeanknits) on Flickr.
Here is the website and the directions follow from their webpage: Legwear:
These leg warmers will be most appreciated in the dead of winter when temperatures plummet and winds wail, but be sure to have them crocheted and ready to wear.Knitting pattern: "I didn't really use a pattern, I just used a little math and knit a 1 x 1 rib. I kept knitting until they were long enough to stretch up to my thighs if cold weather required." Courtesy of VanillabeanKnits
Directions are given for size 9-11. You will need two 4 ounce, skeins of 4 ply yarn and sizes I and K crochet hooks.
Gauge: 3 hdc equal 1 inch
Starting at lower edge with smaller hook, ch 30, join with sl st to form ring, ch 2, do not turn.
Row 1: Sc in each ch, join with sl st in top of ch-2, ch 2, do not turn.
Rows 2 through 8: Repeat Row 1.
Row 9: With larger hook, ch 2, hdc in each sc across, join with sl st in top of ch-, ch 2, turn.
Repeat Row 9 to length desired, after last sl st, fasten off


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Rackspace, Cumulus Networks and CoreOS Join Linux Foundation 9
Mcusanelli (3564469) writes "Rackspace, Cumulus Networks and CoreOS have become members of the Linux Foundation to support open source networking, virtualization and cloud computing. The Linux Foundation said in a statement: 'From the virtualization layer to networking hardware, Linux and open source are critical to modern computing and a new generation of cloud services and applications. Today's new Linux Foundation members are part of this market shift and see open source as the lynchpin for optimal scalability, efficiencies, security and data center savings.'"


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Manager Arsene Wenger is in no doubt Jack Wilshere has all the qualities to one day take over as Arsenal's captain.
With skipper Thomas Vermaelen set to sit out today's FA Cup fourth-round tie at Brighton with an ankle problem and his deputy Mikel Arteta sidelined by a calf injury, the 21-year-old England midfielder could well start with the armband at the Amex Community Stadium after being handed it by Vermaelen in the midweek Barclays Premier League win over West Ham.
"Jack will be captain of this club one day, first of all, because of the quality of the player. There is also his commitment and desire to win, his understanding of the game. Jack senses on the pitch what you have to do," Wenger said.
Copyright (c) PA Sport 2013, All Rights Reserved.
Do YOU want to write for GiveMeSport? Get started today by signing-up and submitting an article HERE: https://www.givemesport.com/writeforgms


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Cranberry Double-Nut Pie Recipe
This has to be on our holiday table or there'd be lots of unhappy campers. Tart cranberries provide delicious contrast to the rich, sweet, nutty filling.—Lily Julow, Lawrenceville, Georgia
Recommended: 47 Cranberry Desserts Worth Puckering Up For
VERIFIED BY Taste of Home Test Kitchen
Popular Videos
- Pastry for single-crust pie (9 inches)
- 3 large eggs
- 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
- 1/2 cup light corn syrup
- 1/3 cup butter, melted
- 2 tablespoons molasses
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries, thawed
- 3/4 cup coarsely chopped walnuts, toasted
- 3/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans, toasted
- Preheat oven to 350°. On a lightly floured surface, roll pastry dough to a 1/8-in.-thick circle; transfer to a 9-in. pie plate. Trim pastry to 1/2 in. beyond rim of plate; flute edge.
- In a large bowl, whisk eggs, brown sugar, corn syrup, butter, molasses and salt; stir in cranberries, walnuts and pecans. Pour into pastry.
- Bake 45-50 minutes or until set. Cool on a wire rack. Yield: 8 servings.
Pastry for single-crust pie (9 inches): Combine 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour and 1/4 tsp. salt; cut in 1/2 cup cold butter until crumbly. Gradually add 3-5 Tbsp. ice water, tossing with a fork until dough holds together when pressed. Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate 1 hour. Editor's Note: To toast nuts, spread in a 15x10x1-in. baking pan. Bake at 350° for 5-10 minutes or until lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Or, spread in a dry nonstick skillet and heat over low heat until lightly browned, stirring occasionally.
Originally published as Cranberry Double-Nut Pie in Taste of Home December 2013
Reviews forCranberry Double-Nut Pie
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Any changes to your rating or review will appear where you originally posted your review


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Difference between revisions of "Yaeyama Islands"
Revision as of 07:11, 1 June 2009
The Yaeyama Islands (八重山諸島 Yaeyama-shotō) are the westernmost part of Okinawa, Japan.
The Yaeyama Islands are the remotest and most southwestern part of Japan, closer to Taiwan than Okinawa Island, much less the mainland.
The Yaeyama Islands are subtropical and even in winter temperatures rarely drop below 15°C, making the area a popular winter getaway, although it's often cloudy and usually a little too cold for sunbathing. Spring, around March and April, is an excellent time to visit if you take care to avoid Golden Week at the end of April. The rainy season starts early in May and continues until June. Summer in Okinawa is hot and humid but still excellent for the beaches, while September-October brings a succession of fierce typhoons that can bring everything to a standstill. November and December are again good times to visit.
An indigenous ideographical writing system known as kaidā was once employed on Taketomi and Yonaguni, but is now primarily found on T-shirts in souvenir shops.
See also: Yaeyama phrasebook, Yonaguni phrasebook
Get in
The Yaeyama Islands are a long way from anywhere.
By plane
The main airport of the islands is Ishigaki. There are frequent connections to Naha and Miyako and limited direct services to major Japanese cities like Tokyo, but no scheduled international services, even from neighboring Taiwan.
By boat
As of 2008, following the liquidation of both Ryukyu Kaiun and Arimura Sangyo, there are no scheduled services to Taiwan, mainland Japan or islands outside the Yaeyama group.
Star Cruises [1] operates cruises from Keelung (Taiwan) to Miyako, Ishigaki and Yonaguni irregularly; as of summer 2009, they're available again.
Get around
By plane
Japan Transocean Air and Ryukyu Air Commuter have limited flights (1-2 services daily) from Ishigaki to Yonaguni and Hateruma.
By boat
There are frequent services from Ishigaki to Taketomi (just 10 minutes) and Iriomote (40 minutes). Regular boats also connect to the other islands, including the more remote Hateruma, and Yonaguni. The major operators are Anei Kankō and Yaeyama Kankō Ferry.
The Yaeyama Islands are about as off the beaten track as it gets in Japan, but each has its own distinct character. Ishigaki has some spectacular beaches and Iriomote is the only island in all Japan with authentic jungle and mangrove forests, while tiny Taketomi is known for its carefully maintained traditional Ryukyu village.
Thanks to the pristine coral reefs that surround practically all the islands, scuba diving is the number one sports activity. Ishigaki is known for its manta rays, while Yonaguni's star attractions are hammerhead sharks and underwater ruins.
Even with just a snorkel and mask, it's possible to see a good assortment of tropical fish and other marine life among the reefs just a short distance from the beaches. The best spots are probably Nakamoto Beach on Kuro Island and Star Sand Beach on Iriomote.
Yaeyama's best-known dish is the ubiquitous Yaeyama soba (八重山そば), which bears little resemblance to soba on the mainland: the Yaeyaman version consists of white wheat noodles in a mild pork-based stock, garnished with chunks of pork (sōki), some slices of fish cake and red ginger. Available everywhere for ¥400-500 a bowl.
The local beef is also renowned, although needless to say in Japan prime steaks don't come cheap. The tiny island of Kuro, in particular, is known for having more cows than people.
Some of the more exotic local fare on offer includes snake soup and mimigā, a salad of pork ear, cucumber and vinegar.
As elsewhere in Okinawa the tipple of choice is awamori, the best known local brand being Yaesen (八重泉), but Yonaguni is also known for its deadly 60° hanazake. In addition to the ubiquitous Orion beer, Ishigaki also houses a microbrewery.
Stay safe
Yaeyama poses no health risks apart from those found elsewhere in Okinawa. Use plenty of suntan lotion and don't insert your hands into holes in trees that make suspicious hissing sounds.
The Yaeyama islands have over 200 utaki (御嶽), also known as ogan or on, which are holy places for venerating the gods. Akin to low-key versions of Japanese jinja shrines, they usually do not have torii gates, but are instead marked off with low stone walls and Japanese signage. Don't venture inside.
The definitive reference to the islands is Nanzansha's Yaeyama Guide Book (やえやま GUIDE BOOK, ISBN 4876413886, Amazon.co.jp), but alas, the only words of English in this yearly-updated tome are in the title. Still, the maps and thorough listings are invaluable, particularly for the smaller islands. Available in better bookstores throughout Japan for ¥1200, and older copies can almost always be found sitting around in Yaeyaman lodgings.
The free Yaeyama Navi (八重山ナビ) pamphlet with large, detailed maps is also quite good, but the listings inside are limited to paid advertisements.


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First, I'd like to announce an LF users' group mailing list for people in Victoria and on Vancouver island.
Just go to google groups (groups.google.com) and search for "victoria-large-format-user-group". You should be able to sign up from there, I think.
Otherwise you might be able to send an email to email@example.com and you'll probably get an automated reply telling you how to sign up.
Next, it might be fun to have a casual get-together of some sort. I'm happy to volunteer my place to the cause - I live in Vic West and it should be pretty easy to get to. I'm not sure what date but possible the weekend of the 16th or the 23rd. Alternatively, maybe you're all busy enjoying your summer weekends outside, so some weeknight might be a better idea? The idea would just be to get to know each other and share some prints - nothing rigid or formal, just a casual meet-up.
The Calgary LFUG that I used to visit had a good system where we'd meet once a month on the second Tuesday just to show a recent print or two and hang out, alternating between people's houses or locations. It was pretty fun and seemed like a good way to share experiences and show images to each other. Maybe we could eventually do something like that?
If everyone's busy with vacation and camping and stuff, we could put it off until September.


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Springfield Mayor Domenic Sarno would prefer residents not think about the casino battle in his city in terms of "winners" and "losers."
Last week, when Sarno announced that MGM, but not rival developer Penn National, would proceed to the next round of the casino approval process, he spoke of the need for the entire city to "together move forward to rebuild and redefine our beloved Springfield."
The mayor's plea notwithstanding, it's hard to avoid the language of victory and defeat, given all that's at stake. The biggest winner, of course: MGM. Assuming city councilors approve the agreement negotiated by the Sarno administration with MGM—and, as the Advocate went to press, they appeared poised to do so this week—the company's plan will go before city voters, perhaps at early as July.
Ultimately, the state Gaming Commission will award one casino license in Western Mass., choosing from MGM's plan for the South End and competing proposals in Palmer and West Springfield.
City officials see Springfield as the big winner. In his announcement, Sarno outlined some of the "game-changing" benefits promised by MGM's $800 million project, including a $15 million initial payment to the city, followed by an "anticipated" $25 million a year in property taxes, grants and other funding; thousands of jobs, 35 percent of them reserved for city residents; and commitments to underwrite events at local venues, develop downtown housing and invest in parks, the city's golf course and other attractions. (The full agreement can be found at http://www.springfield-ma.gov/casino.)
The obvious loser: Penn National, whose plan for a North End casino didn't make the cut—although, frankly, it's hard to shed tears for a corporation that's no doubt used to, well, gambling on prospective projects that may or may not work out.
The same goes for Peter Picknelly, the Springfield businessman who was a 50 percent partner and local face for that project; while surely disappointed, he has plenty of other business ventures—a real estate company, a firearms distributor, his family's Peter Pan Bus Lines—to keep his days busy and the wolf from his door.
While Picknelly was in the thick of the MGM-Penn National battle—most memorably, describing his rivals as "some goons from Las Vegas" in an interview with the Reminder—his public comments after Sarno's announcement have focused on his optimism about Springfield's future.
(Whether Picknelly and his wife, who've given Sarno several thousand dollars in campaign donations in recent years, continue that level of support remains to be seen.)
Picknelly's comments have not, however, shed much light on whether he plans to move his bus operations into nearby Union Station. He signed a non-binding letter of intent to do so back in 2012, but more recently said that the company wouldn't move from its current North End building unless it was to make room for the Penn National casino.
Many in the city read that as an attempt to bully city officials into picking Penn National by threatening to withhold Peter Pan's support for the long-delayed Union Station renovation. Picknelly said he was just being a smart businessman; why would he move from a building he owns to pay rent elsewhere unless there was a good reason—namely, the casino—to do so?
Kevin Kennedy, the city's chief economic officer (and, not incidentally, former aide to U.S. Rep. Richie Neal, who's secured millions in federal money for Union Station) has tried to assuage worries, insisting the project will proceed with or without Peter Pan.
Last week, Picknelly remained vague about his plans, telling the Springfield Republican that he'd like to move into Union Station but adding that "the last thing the city needs is another vacant piece of property." MGM, meanwhile, has committed to lease space at the station and invest $6.7 million in the project.
High on the list of not-winners: the Springfield Republican. Penn National had planned to buy the Republican's building at 1860 Main St. for its casino and move the newspaper to a downtown site.
But the Republican's loss is its readers' gain; the selection of MGM makes moot the Republican's ethically untenable position of covering the casino battle while having a financial stake in its outcome.
The newspaper won't, presumably, hold a grudge against MGM—which, should it win a casino license, would be in a position to spend large and much-welcomed amounts of advertising dollars. It will be interesting, however, to track the paper's coverage of Sarno in the wake of its don't-call-it-a-loss loss.•


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Password Genie is a password manager that works across multiple computers and users and is designed for both security and convenience. You can easily save all of your usernames and passwords in one location, which is securely protected and can only be accessed by you. Features include smart and complex logins, multiple users and multiple PCs, safe and secure encryption, advanced custom options, automated backups, 24/7 support, and a browser button.
A small, non-interactive, shell-like scripting language.
A fast C++ matrix library with an API similar to Matlab's.


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DENIVIP Media has been creating video platforms since 2008 (usually in conjunction with services, portals and applications). Over the 4 years of developing ad-hoc video platforms for different projects, we have accumulated a decent expertise and information on many hindrances that are almost inevitable in video projects. In this post, I would like to brief you on how we design video platforms and what drivers have to be taken into account when creating a new or upgrading an old video platform. Also, I would like to note major forthcoming trends in the development of video platforms foreeable for the near future.
Via Nicolas Weil


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In these winter months, it's especially important that babies receive the necessary nutrients for staying healthy and fighting off those nasty colds and flus that inevitably attack each year. That's why we've come up with some foods that are particularly good at protecting your child's health (not to mention your own!).
Leeks are often over-shadowed by their rival vegetable--the onion. However, there are several great health benefits of eating this flavorful food. Leeks are high in both carotene and Vitamin C, both of which are efficient in cold prevention. Not to mention, the best season for buying leeks is from November to February!
Carrots and sweet potatoes are extremely high in beta-carotene, which is essential for strengthening our immune systems after our bodies convert it to vitamin A. When we get sick, our noses and throats are the first areas attacked; beta-carotene helps ensure these canals are functioning properly.
Garlic is yet another food that can do wonders for fighting the common cold. It is loaded with allicin, a compound which wards off the enzymes that participate in viral and bacterial infections.
Put all these super foods together and get one nutrient packed meal that you can trust to keep away the sniffles. The possibilities are endless with these tasty vegetables: try adding them to some rice or processing them into a kid-friendly puree. Keep in mind with the garlic and leeks only to use a small amount at first to make sure your baby will take to the flavor. And of course, make sure to consult your doctor before introducing new foods to your baby's diet!


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Thread: The Roberts Court Defines Itself
Results 1 to 6 of 6
#1 The Roberts Court Defines Itself
- Join Date
- May 2008
- Location
- midwest
- Posts
- 5,597
They're having temper tantrums over at DU because our laws and policies have to conform to the constitution. Of course with them it's all about not getting their way.
PourMeADrink (11,127 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
The Roberts Court Defines Itself
For anyone who still thought legal conservatives are dedicated to judicial restraint, the oral arguments before the Supreme Court on the health care case should put that idea to rest. There has been no court less restrained in signaling its willingness to replace law made by Congress with law made by justices.
This should not be surprising. Republican administrations, spurred by conservative interest groups since the 1980s, handpicked each of the conservative justices to reshape or strike down law that fails to reflect conservative political ideology.
When Antonin Scalia and Anthony Kennedy were selected by the Reagan administration, the goal was to choose judges who would be eager to undo liberal precedents. By the time John Roberts Jr. and Samuel Alito Jr. were selected in the second Bush administration, judicial restraint was no longer an aim among conservatives. They were chosen because their professional records showed that they would advance a political ideology that limits government and promotes market freedoms, with less regard to the general welfare.
Star Member rhett o rick (20,359 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
1. The balance of power is out of balance.
IMO our founders wanted the legislative branch to be the most powerful as they are elected by the people and more directly representative. The president was next with the SCOTUS given little power. The Constitution does not directly give the SCOTUS the power of striking down laws passed by the other two branches. This power was assumed by Justice John Marshall. While is sounds good in theory, we have seen how easily it can be abused and how hard it is to undo abuse.indepat (17,716 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
4. A moniker of "fascist" would be impotent, shallow, and much too polite: they are bona fide treasonous
imnsho.meow2u3 (11,657 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
2. In other words, the Roberts court is a judicial dictatorship
They're entirely hellbent on usurping and overruling Congress and not only making up the law as they go along, but also acting to supplant democracy with a de facto--or de jure--permanent plutarchy, and to hell with our Constitutional rights.
They consistently strike down constitutional laws and unconstitutional and uphold acts of Congress that would cause the Founding Fathers to spin in their graves.Laura PourMeADrink (11,127 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
3. Hypocrisy continues. How many times have we heard that schpiel about activist judges
what a bunch of bullshit.
Someone should write a book about how the repukes have taken hypocrisy to new heights.Ikonoklast (16,776 posts) Profile Journal Send DU Mail Ignore
5. Bow Down To Your Corporate Masters!
They're people too, you know.
Really shitty people that will destroy Democracy as we knew it, but, people all the same.
|« Previous Thread | Next Thread »


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News Feature
Originally published in Castine Patriot, October 13, 2011
190-foot cell tower approved in Penobscot
During a Penobscot hearing about a cell phone tower, engineer John Stevens (standing) holds map showing the areas covered by tower's signal. At left is AT& T's representative Gin Vilante. In background are selectmen Paul Bowen (left) and Stanley Shorey.
by Jonathan Thomas
The Penobscot Planning Board approved a 190-foot cell phone tower at its October 4 meeting. The permit was approved by a 5-0 vote following an hour-long hearing and the board's final review of the application.
The tower will be located on Melody Lane, off Bayview Road (Route 199) on a 350-acre parcel owned by G.M. Allen and Sons (map 8, lot 38).
The lead applicant is Florida Tower Partners, LLC, d/b/a North Atlantic Towers. The company has leased 1.5 acres of wooded land adjacent to a blueberry field. The tower and supporting equipment building will be within a 75-foot-square area enclosed by a chain-link fence. Because of its monopole design, there will be no guy wires. Since the tower will be less than 200-feet tall, the Federal Aviation Administration does not require it to be lighted.
AT&T has a contract to be the first cell phone company to mount its antennas on the tower. Because there will be space on the tower for five other companies to mount antennas, Florida Tower presenter Randy Howse told the audience of approximately 20 people at the hearing that it is unlikely another cell tower will ever be built in the town.
The tower company will also provide space so the Penobscot Fire Department can meet its radio transmission needs under new federal emergency communication standards soon to go into effect.
In response to questions from fire chief Dennis Robertson, Howse said he expects the tower will be up before winter, and that facilities for the fire department can be set up quickly. He said cell tower operations from the site should be ready during the first quarter of next year, depending on when the phone company can make needed connections.
During the hearing, Howse, along with engineer John Stevens, provided further information about the tower itself, areas within range of the tower's signal, the access road, and how the tower would look.
Stevens displayed several photographic illustrations showing how visible the tower would be from various locations in town. The illustrations were based on visibility tests done earlier in the year that used a tethered balloon. He said that during the tests the balloon was only visible from one of seven areas considered sensitive.
According to Code Enforcement Officer Judy Jenkins, the motion at the end of the meeting to approve the tower permit was conditioned on receipt of a bond sufficient to cover the cost of the tower's removal if it is abandoned. The wording of the proposed bond is currently under review by the town's attorney.
The application was the first to be considered under the town's recently enacted cell tower ordinance. The board held a pre-application conference with the applicant on May 17. The application itself was submitted to the planning board on August 15, and has been under review by the board since then.
Board members present on October 4 and voting to approve the application were Chairman Dana Willis, James Gross Jr., Judy McKay, Liz Snow, and Robert Tapley.
The town's three selectmen, Chairman Paul Bowen, Harold Hatch, and Stanley Shorey also attended the meeting.


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The lights are on
The Elder Scrolls franchise rolls out new entries every few years, and each one gains new steam with the gaming public. Last year's Skyrim was one of the most critically and commercially successful games of the year, and the upcoming Elder Scrolls Online promises to further expand the fanbase.
Today, we're leaping into the future to concoct a formula for what we'd like to see in The Elder Scrolls VI. Culled from the Game Informer editorial staff, we've come up with our favorite additions and improvements we'd love to see in the Elder Scrolls series.
All these ideas are complete conjecture. While the ambitious game we're positing here may never come to be, we can cross our fingers that at least some of our dream scenarios might be included in the inevitable follow-up entry to the series. Check out our ideas, and share your thoughts in the comments below.
Next Generation
The worst kept secret in the gaming industry is the impending arrival of next-gen consoles from Sony and Microsoft. Bethesda's next Elder Scrolls entry will be one of the premiere titles on both platforms, as well as next-gen PC. Real-time global illumination will dramatically enhance the visual presentation; the scene of a moonlit forest glade will be all the more magical with light filtering through leaves, dynamically moving shadows, and moonlight reflecting off other objects in the environment. In addition, next-gen processors and memory advancements assure a game without long load times between locations and increased detail on objects and faces. Expanded automation of basic programming elements allowed by next-gen engines should give the development team extra time to hammer out bugs that might otherwise hurt the gaming experience.
The Elder Scrolls series has a wealth of lore, history, and geography about Tamriel, the continent that houses the nations of Cyrodiil, Skyrim, Morrowind, and all of the other previously seen locations in the Elder Scrolls games. However, the planet Nirn has other continents that have been mentioned in the existing games. The fact that Bethesda has opened up all of Tamriel for exploration in The Elder Scrolls Online is all the evidence we need to conclude that the next numbered entry will likely head to a new locale. Most notably, far to the east of Tamriel lies Akavir. This exotic and as-yet unexplored part of the game world is the homeland of the dragons and includes a wealth of new races already mentioned in the fiction.
The Elder Scrolls VI: Akavir would offer Bethesda the chance to flesh out a new landmass filled with its own geography, culture, and history. Akavir draws on other cultural traditions beyond the western and northern medieval Europe vibe of Skyrim and Oblivion. Instead, Akavir could mix in themes of Asian culture while maintaining the deep fantasy core. The architecture, weapons, and dress of the Blades (an important group throughout the series) are based on Akaviri design, so that offers a sense of where things could be headed.
New Races
Within the existing fiction of the franchise, Akavir is populated by several brand new races. The monkey-people of Tang Mo, the tiger people of Ka Po'Tun, the demons of Kamal, and the snake people of Tsaesci could all be fleshed out into new playable races. Unwilling to alienate longtime fans, Bethesda could also include many, if not all, of the existing Tamrielic races. Perhaps an invasion from Tamriel brings these races to Akavir, or an expedition to find the origins of the Dragon Guard (the predecessors of the Blades) could offer a good reason to bring races like orcs and dark elves over to the new continent.
Cooperative Play
The Elder Scrolls games have always offered a dedicated single-player experience, but The Elder Scrolls VI should finally offer cooperative play with not just one partner, but many friends in the same world. Dynamic difficulty adjustment would make the system viable, and some quests and locations in the world could be designed with more than one person in mind.
Flying Mounts
After listening to fans' desires about flying dragons in Skyrim, the technology of next-gen consoles could allow Bethesda to implement flying mounts. The dragons that returned to the world in Skyrim remain behind for this new game, and while some of them are still militantly against humanity, others follow the path of Paarthurnax to maintain peace and even allow some mortal partners to ride them into battle. Beyond dragons, the game could introduce other flying mounts native to Akavir that can be tamed and flown across the countryside.
New Narrative Style
Leaping past the improvements made in Skyrim, The Elder Scrolls VI should have a more sophisticated approach to narrative and storytelling to bring it on par with games like Mass Effect. Individual choices made by your character should have a more dramatic outward effect on the game world, echoing changes to the world that were apparent in the Civil War storyline of Skyrim. In addition, major events should feel more epic, thanks to the next-gen capability to include battles with dozens or even hundreds of combatants.
Talking to NPCs could be a major area of improvement, using cinematic camera angles to deepen the drama and offer an increased opportunity to see what your character looks like. Main characters should be fully voiced. In addition, NPCs should be more aware of your accomplishments, with the game keeping track of your fame so individuals accord you the proper respect (or disdain) when talking to you.
Giving interactions with important characters increased flexibility could open the door to developing (or destroying) close friendships. Romantic relationships could offer fleshed-out choices for letting your character meet, court, and marry individuals within the game world. Your romantic partner could ultimately play a more important role in your life than other individuals.
Better Autosaves
The Elder Scrolls VI should maintain multiple autosave slots every few minutes of play so you don't accidentally lose progress. This could supplement a designated button to autosave that allows you to protect your progress without pausing the game and drilling into the menus.
[Next Up: Going to sea, martial arts combat, and mod support, no matter your platform]
Email the author Matt Miller, or follow on Twitter, and Game Informer.


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There are a number of sources and types of money to help pay for college. RIT's Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships helps students and families sort it out.
"The counselors in the office are always ready to help families with questions or financial concerns," says Verna Hazen, assistant vice president and director of financial aid and scholarships.
The office plays an important role in the lives of thousands of students and their families: More than 75 percent of RIT's full-time students receive some kind of financial assistance each year.
RIT has a long history of providing financial support to qualified students regardless of their families' economic circumstances, says Hazen. This year, RIT is providing more than $92 million in institutionally funded assistance to students. That will increase to $102 million for 2009-10.
In recent months, the economic downturn has led to concerns about the availability of college funding. Over the course of the current school year, a number of students have requested and received additional institutionally funded scholarships.
"Many students and parents work very hard to provide for college costs," says Hazen. "In this economy, the need for assistance can be beyond what those families can provide simply by working harder. That's when we need to be able to step in and provide some relief."
RIT helps in several ways:
For undergraduate students, merit scholarships are awarded in recognition of outstanding academic and extracurricular achievements, regardless of a student's financial need. These scholarships are awarded based on a review of information provided to the Office of Undergraduate Admissions as part of the admission process.
For graduate students, many scholarships and assistantships are awarded by the academic department at the time of admission on the basis of academic excellence.
Need-based financial aid is awarded to undergraduate and graduate students who demonstrate financial need based on information a student and his or her family provide on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA). The expected family contribution toward educational expenses is based on a government-approved formula. The Office of Financial Aid and Scholarships determines a student's eligibility for RIT, federal and other financial aid programs based on financial need.
In addition, about 8,000 students work at part-time jobs on campus each year and RIT's cooperative education program offers students the opportunity to earn substantial salaries that can be used to help pay for part of their education.
As the financial crisis continues, the picture for state and federally funded aid programs appears relatively stable, Hazen says. The recent Economic Stimulus bill included increases in tuition tax credits for middle income families and an increase in the federal Pell Grant program for students who demonstrate a high level of financial need. Spring 2008 legislation also expanded the availability of federal loans for students and parents.
The bottom line? Financial aid is critical to student success, and scholarship support is more important than ever.
"There is no better way to demonstrate our commitment to students' success than to assist them in financing their education," says James Miller, senior vice president, Enrollment Management and Career Services. "Every gift of scholarship support makes a big difference in the lives of our students."
Information on RIT's scholarships and financial aid can be found at RIT's admission's Web site To see all of the stories on preparing for college, see the online version of RIT:The University Magazine


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In the teeming Nigerian market, a group of final-year medical laboratory students ambled home after their lectures. Blessing Gushi, a 30-year-old pharmacist, stopped to buy food for her family.
Elizabeth Musa, 50, a trader, was selling sweets, drinks and other small things to scrape out a meager living. Magdalene Solomon, a policewoman who had just bought tickets to fly to Lagos for training, had stopped to buy cooking oil and watched as it was carefully poured into a plastic bottle.
Ruth Joseph, working in a market cafe, had seated her 3-year-old daughter, Dorcas, nearby.
Two cars had been left near the market in Jos, but no one noticed. The streets are always lined with parked cars in various stages of disrepair.
Just after 3 p.m. Tuesday, two car bombs shattered the afternoon, killing scores of people. No group claimed responsibility but residents said the northeastern Nigerian terrorist organization Boko Haram, which had sent letters in the weeks before threatening to attack the market and schools, apparently had left a letter stuck on a wall that morning.
At least 122 people died in the attack, authorities said. The dead included several of the medical students and others from Jos University Teaching Hospital.
A spate of car bombs in Jos, Kano and Abuja, the capital, has killed hundreds in recent weeks. Boko Haram claimed responsibility for a car bomb attack at a bus station in Abuja last month that killed 75 people and wounded dozens. Many Nigerians believe the group, which wants to impose an Islamic state across Nigeria and is opposed to Western education and culture, is responsible for all the recent bomb attacks and fear that it has entered a more violent phase of operations.
The U.N. Security Council on Thursday imposed sanctions against Boko Haram, adding it to a list of groups subject to an arms embargo and asset freeze. The terrorist group is also responsible for the April abduction of more than 300 girls, most of them from a school in the town of Chibok.
In the Jos attack, Gushi, the pharmacist, was killed instantly, decapitated by the explosion. When her best friend, Naomi Pam, found her body at Plateau State Specialist Hospital later, the only way she recognized her was by her name tag.
Mike Ogbote, 22, Francisca Nwafor, 23, and Lydia Dolapo, 21, were killed, along with 12 other students from the teaching hospital. After the blast, their friends and fellow students frantically called their cellphones, but the calls went unanswered.
In the cafe, Joseph heard a massive boom. The cafe walls heaved and collapsed around her. She and Dorcas suffered burns.
"The restaurant was destroyed and everyone was confused. I don't know how the fire got on me," she said while recovering at the hospital.
Joseph was lying on her stomach, the skin on her legs burned off. At her side, Dorcas was sleeping, with a burn mark above one swollen eye. Wordlessly, Joseph lifted the wrap covering the naked child, revealing a grotesque burn on the girl's right leg. Joseph's husband and other daughter, who is 8, were at home.
"I just pray for them," Joseph whispered, meaning the attackers. "May God change their minds."
Musa recalled sitting by her makeshift market stand Tuesday morning when news filtered through the market that a letter from Boko Haram threatening to attack had been left on a wall. It wasn't the first time: A similar letter was posted last month just before Easter, she said.
"They wrote a letter to the market that they were coming," Musa said.
She and other traders fretted but stayed in the market because the threat seemed too vague.
"I was afraid but … I didn't believe it that much," she said.
Musa said she heard a deafening blast, something fell on her, and her eyes "went dark." Her head hurt badly and she felt pain in her leg and arm.
"Right from there, I could not see. I can't swallow. My throat is hurting," she said.
As The Times interviewed relatives beside her bed at the hospital, Musa told her story softly. A bandage on her head covered one eye, with her face protruding balloon-like below. Blood had seeped into the bandage, colored almost entirely red with a small edge of white. Fluid seeped from her swollen eye.
She hauled herself into a sitting position, troubled by pain in her back. Her daughter dabbed her oozing eye and nose.
"I will not go there again," Musa said of the market, the only livelihood for a poorly educated trader. "I value my life.
"But I don't have an education to work in an office. If I don't sell, what will I do?"
Doctors said it was too early to tell whether she had lost sight in one eye, or both.
For policewoman Solomon, the mood had been cheerful Tuesday. The 36-year-old is married to a policeman and has two children.
"I heard something behind me, an explosion. Before I know it, I'm down. I can't breathe. I just call the name of God, 'Save me, save me.'"
She staggered to her feet.
"I saw people around me injured, dying. I saw many, many people. People were shouting. I saw smoke cover everywhere. So many people were injured.
"It seems like they [the attackers] want to kill as many people as possible. I am in danger because even the [police] uniform, if they see it they will shoot you on sight. We are not safe."
A piece of shrapnel pierced her back and had to be removed surgically Wednesday. In the hospital she was getting painkillers twice a day, in the morning and at night. The rest of the time, when the pain comes, she just screws up her face and pants.
She has no plans to leave the police force, "because it's my country. I want to serve my country. I'm not afraid."
Schools and most offices in Jos were closed Thursday. Silent relatives gathered by mortuaries to collect their dead. But many were still searching, as hospital staff said many victims were burned beyond recognition. Several of the missing students had not been identified.
Nearly one-tenth of the 76 final-year students in the medical laboratory science department died Tuesday, student Clarkson Ashuojong, 28, said.
"A lot of people are sobbing because this incident is still fresh in our minds. This thing comes as shock. People are just moving on their own, finding their daily bread, and it happens," Ashuojong said.
"People are afraid. Wherever there are crowds gathered, people are afraid. People are dying every day, every day. We are not safe. Even the school is not safe," he said, referring to the teaching hospital.
Students remembered Dolapo as a leader who kept the classrooms organized and reminded others to pay their fees on time. Nwafor was "so friendly, always smiling," Ashuojong said.
The students, who will collect Ogbote's body Friday to send it to his home state of Benue, will miss his gentle good humor.
"We're crying for him. We know we have lost a lot. He's been a leader. He's one of the most influential people in the department. Mike, if there was tension, he always calmed it down.
"He always said, 'Don't be in a hurry,'" Ashuojong said.
"We miss their cordiality. We miss their presence. We miss their uniqueness."


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SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives
My husband and our babysitter
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kellys2014 posted 2/4/2014 01:01 AM
Sorry this is so long. I'm just trying to process.
I found out on Saturday. Two days later, I think I am over the shock. Maybe. Now deciding what to do.
I am a walking cliche. Or rather, he is. My husband of 11 years (together for 15), the last man on this planet that I would have ever expected to have an affair, had a sexual and emotional affair with our then-22 year old babysitter (he was 42, now 44) and they are still in communication. Two years. This has been going on for two years. I don't know if I am more shocked by the fact that he did this, or with whom. I honestly can't believe she would want him. She is is very pretty, petite, and big-boobed. He is a pudgy, average-looking, working stiff who is constantly grumpy.
I discovered their graphic texts (with pictures, yay!) Saturday morning by accident. They popped up on my new laptop because it is registered with the same e-mail address as his iPhone. Isn't technology the greatest? BARF. I considered this girl to be a close family friend, someone who adores my children, brings them gifts, calls them on the phone, etc. She is my five year old daughter's favorite person in the world. She talks about her often, even though she moved cross country last year. We call her "Cousin Sarah."
As soon as I found the texts I called my husband and told him. He rushed home from work, apologizing, trying to "explain." "It ended in 2012." "You texted her this morning!!" "It's just a fantasy now, an escape. We are just playing around." I told him he was a hypocrite and a joke. That he'd taken advantage of a young messed up girl. That she had to be messed up to sleep with him. Look at her, then look at him. At first, I thought of her as a victim, although after re-reading the texts I don't. At that point, I had just read a few.
The affair started during a point in our marriage when we were on the verge of divorce and it has taken us a couple of years to get to a good - not great - place. The one area that is not firing on all cylinders is our sex life. Well go figure. A hot young woman sending raunchy, close-up pictures (and video!) of her anatomy can do that.
After reading two week of texts I learned the following: They "face timed" once a week. He sent her money. He sent her "care packages" which included prescription drugs she requested. "Pwetty pweeeze?" Most of the mushy stuff was very one-sided. He professed his love, tons of compliments, pet names, etc. Her comments were more like, "I never get tired of hearing it." "Thanks!" It was weird. She did say that she wanted to rob a bank so they could be together. It was like two fifteen year olds. Lots of discussion about her waxing habits. Is this too graphic? If so, sorry. I am leaving most of the really graphic stuff out, as I wouldn't even feel comfortable typing it, much less forcing anyone who happens to be reading this to see it. It seemed like she was just sort of humoring him and sending the graphic pictures for the attention, drugs, cash, and prizes, but who knows. It sounded like she was into some things that I would consider...I'm looking for the right word. Porn-movie-ish. Maybe this is what kids these days are into. My tastes are admittedly vanilla.
So now he is totally remorseful. Told me he called her to tell her what went down and not to text him, and has cut off all communication with her. So he says. He'll do whatever it takes, if I just give him a second chance. Says he won't have a phone anymore. He has a dark side he put behind him when he met me and it popped back up in his life two years ago when he lost his job, was depressed, and our marriage was on the rocks. He lost his mind and would never do anything like this ever again.
I don't believe that he could just cut off communication with her. A week ago he was professing his love, now she's dead to him? Is that how it works? I doubt it. I really get why he is attracted to her, had the affair, etc. I get why he would be sexually infatuated with her and think he was in love with her. I get it, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it, obviously.
I could get over an affair from two years ago, if it had ended. But it hasn't. I don't know if I can ever get over who the other woman is. if you had told me that my husband was sleeping with this girl I would have thought you were ridiculous. Actually, my stepdad told my mother that he thought it was a bad idea for her to live with us, given that our marriage was rocky. That he might be tempted. I thought it was so funny, because she would never go for some middle-aged Dad.
I don't actually care why she did this, but it does still seem really, really weird. I remember a couple of years ago I was holding his phone and a text came through from her that said, "F$%&, now I'm horny." I was SO embarrassed for her, because I thought she had meant to send it to someone else. I deleted it and didn't even tell him because I thought she would be so embarrassed. A month later, similar scenario (you think he would have kept his phone away from me, duh!) a picture of her in the bathtub popped up. Nothing graphic, lots of bubbles. I said, "Why is Sarah sending you a picture of her in the bathtub?" He looked so genuinely shocked and lied so casually. I texted her, "Did you mean to send this to husband's-first-name's phone?" She called, all freaked out about how her ex-boyfriend had hacked into her phone and sent that embarrassing photo to a bunch of people on her contact list, including her parents and boss. I was so upset for her... I am really the most gullible, stupid, unsuspecting person who has ever lived, aren't I? It's almost laughable. It makes me want to slap someone. It just never occurred to me that two people who I thought were kind people would do something like this.
The content of the recent texts keeps flashing in my mind. The worst parts are the little things like references to a mixed CD she made him. The pet names. The compliments. The bonding.
Upon discovery, I e-mailed her right away to tell her that I'd read and seen every disgusting and horrible thing and that she was dead to me, and to have a nice life. She e-mailed back apologizing, she never meant to hurt anyone, she wishes she could explain but knows there is no point. Ya think?
So anyway. Husband wants to stay and says he's willing to do whatever it takes. I just really don't want him. I can't imagine ever letting him touch me again. I would just always know he is comparing my 37 year old post-breast-feeding-child-birthing-overweight body to hers.
When I think about just breaking up, I feel strong and confident and know I can still provide a great home life and childhood for my kids. I know their world would be turned upside down, but maybe if the transition was gradual... ? Thinking about breaking up, I feel reasonable and calm and unemotional. I can just let this fool go and focus on a new future. I can let go of the gory details of the affair. Horrible, but over. I don't have to care. It isn't my problem.
It's when I think of trying to reconcile that I start getting emotional and angry over what he has done, said, etc. Then I have to deal with all of these horrible details that I would rather put behind me. Then they are my business. Then I want to know things. When did it start exactly. How did it go down. Etc.
All I know right now is that I need to put my children first. I know what is better for me, but what is better for them? Probably giving their Dad a chance to earn his spot back in our family. But I don't think he can do it. He isn't proactive enough to figure it out. I would have to tell him, here are the exact things you have to do to prove the affair is over, that you want to be here, that I can trust you, etc. And I don't think I am willing to do that.
I have told him I want a separation and that he needs to find a new place to live immediately. That until the school year ends he can spend the weekends here and we'll still do our usual weekends-as-a-family thing. For the kids.
I guess this gives him a window. If he can figure out what to do I might possibly be able to forgive him. I don't know. I feel like I should be more angry. Or even more hurt. I am mostly just surprised and grossed out and dismayed by the lying and emotional bonding with this girl that I know so well.
I guess we just never know what is going on in other people's heads. I don't think I will ever trust anyone, ever again.
Lola88 posted 2/4/2014 01:46 AM
So sorry you find yourself in this situation and here at SI, but welcome to the club no one wanted to join.
I just want to tell you you have been heard, I'm very new to this too and find the help, support and care on here amazing.
You don't have to make any quick decisions, just concentrate on taking care of yourself and your kids for now. Sending you hugs and strength x
Rainbows posted 2/4/2014 02:05 AM
I wanted to reach out and let you know that you have found a wonderful community of people who will help you walk this journey.
Take it one day at a time and be sure to take care of yourself physically. Eat well, stay hydrated and get rest.
Spend some time reading the healing library and other posts. Don't judge yourself. I think one of the biggest shocks we all experience is learning that we were betrayed by the person we trusted the most, but it's not your fault. This is a roller coaster, so keep that in mind.
Don't ever hesitate post as much as you need. This is a very supportive forum of people who will always encourage you to express yourself fully. I've found that sharing here has been very cathartic.
Sending you hugs and light.
[This message edited by Rainbows at 2:10 AM, February 4th (Tuesday)]
mesoSTUPID posted 2/4/2014 02:12 AM
Hi Kells. I'm sorry you're here. This place is amazing for venting, for finding advice and for a little peace of mind to know at times that you're not alone and you are definitely not going crazy.
I too was hit by a double betrayal and it just sucks!
I am 2 years out.
The best advise I can give you right now is that you don't have to make any long term decisions at this moment...
BeautifulEmpty posted 2/4/2014 02:30 AM
I'm a double betrayal victim? Idk I don't really like that word but you get the point.
I'm sorry you find yourself here but if you have to ride the infidelity train, this is the best place to be.
Definitely read the healing library with special attention given to the 180.
The one piece of advice I'd give you is understand that you do not need to make ANY decision right now. Give yourself 6 months. Give yourself a solid year. Detach and look closely at the new person in front of you wearing your husband's skin.
You sound like a strong woman but don't rush anything. You don't need to right now. I do think you requiring a separation is excellent because while I'm saying not to rush anything, I DO believe in seriously detaching. It clears your head and lets you focus on yourself and kids with less emotional blinding and influence from him. He may feel like he's been out of the adultery zone or whatever but he needs to feel what it's like to be without you.
I wish you peace and please, feel free to vent to us or ask questions. There are many wise folks here ready to help. I know they have helped me and held me up when things were just crashing down.
overandone posted 2/4/2014 02:35 AM
Have to get to work soon, but just want to say how sorry I am for your situation.
I don't think I will ever trust anyone, ever againI remember saying exactly this same thing so many times.All I can say is that I don't feel that way any more. A sense of perspective has come back into my life 21 months out, and I definitely trust some people,although will never be blindly trusting again of some others. It just takes time.
BeautifulEmpty posted 2/4/2014 02:37 AM
One more thing...
I was so upset for her... I am really the most gullible, stupid, unsuspecting person who has ever lived, aren't I?
No, you aren't.
First off, there are many people here who have fallen for this crap and while it might be tempting to stick us all in the same lot, the truth is, you were acting like any decent spouse who trusted and respected her husband would do.
You behaved normally and your behavior was reasonable, like a caring adult.
They screwed up. They behaved improperly.
They behaved like spoiled, entitled children.
Not you.
refuz2bavictim posted 2/4/2014 04:56 AM
You weren't gullible. You were blinded by the trust you gave to these people.
The stupidity was their belief that they could continue to pull the wool over your eyes and not get caught. The stupidity was their decision to betray your trust, for something so shamefully pathetic.
Your trust was a beautiful gift, and you are not responsible for the way it was abused. That is on them.
Double betrayal has difficult timeline for healing. It's the kind of betrayal you only expect to see on a TV screen or read about in a book, certainly not something that would happen in your real life.
I understand the degree to which your trust has been shattered. Feeling like we can't trust anyone, especially those closest to us, can leave feeling isolated, and wanting to stay that way.
Whether you stay with your WH or choose to move on, the trust issue will still need to be dealt with.
Take care of yourself. Get yourself a professional that can help you navigate through this. This is a long road. You will find support, care and useful advice from people have walked a mile in your shoes.
I'm sorry you are here.
OnAnIsland posted 2/4/2014 05:46 AM
Kelly, I am so sorry that you find yourself here. This is a great group of people if you need this support.
You don't need to do anything or make any decisions right now. He has to end the A and do NC(no contact) immediately. He needs to give you complete transparency- you need access to all of his devices, online networks, etc. you should also know his complete schedule and activities daily.
Before you make any big decision, give yourself some time to come out of shock; maybe you are right and you are there already. Also, start healing yourself. I suggest relying on some in real life friends and supports (choose carefully; you can't untell). And getting yourself in Individual counseling (IC).
You are fabulous. you are the mother of his children, and this isn't about you or what your body looks like after breastfeeding and giving birth. this is about how broken he is.
It sounds like he has some demons to deal with. He needs to get himself into IC to figure out how he allowed himself to betray YOU and HIS Children and HIMSELF.
What you owe your children- is to be the healthiest Mom and Kelly that you can be. You don't owe him another chance, but you may want to see if he can rise to the occasion. That is totally up to you. But you may not be in the best position to make that decision right now.
Also, eat, drink water, exercise and sleep. Get help from docs and friends/family as needed. You did nothing wrong here.
and one more thing: turn the volume down on what he is saying. Watch his actions. Do they show remorse? Are they consistent? Is a man you want to spend the rest of your years with? He has a lot to work, and unfairly so do you (to heal yourself from the devastation that his A has done to you and your marriage).
Be gentle with yourself.
KatieG posted 2/4/2014 06:00 AM
Kelly, you will get loads of support here.
Your post conveys how you feel so well, and it sounds like you are numb from the revelations. You also sound very strong, so keep knowing that - you will get through this.
Sadmumma posted 2/4/2014 06:42 AM
You are not foolish or stupid.... You are a kind hearted person who wouldn't do it to someone else, so wouldn't expect it to be done to you.
Putting some distance between you is a good idea (in my opinion). Work out what you want......
realitybites posted 2/4/2014 07:05 AM
I agree with the others that you need to take some time just for you. If your marriage was not great for you 2 years ago and the sex is just so-so (and for obvious reasons now that you know) I would say that its now up to you as to what you want. Do you want to be in a marriage with someone who lies and cheats and also you feel no attraction to? These are hard questions, not easy ones.
Thats why sometimes some time away from each other is a good thing. Lets you be in your own space and not have his drama swirling around you while you really try to figure out what you want.
Mapleleaf4ever posted 2/4/2014 07:48 AM
Good luck Kelly,
Maybe time does not heal all wounds but it certainly helps you figure out what you really want/need. Take care of yourself.
kellys2014 posted 2/4/2014 08:35 AM
Wow. I am overwhelmed by all of your kind and supportive responses. Thank you so, so much.
I realize I have been spending too much energy trying to figure this out and it's making me feel like I'm going crazy. It's not figure-out-able. And if it is, I don't have to do it right now. Reading your posts has reminded me to put the focus on myself and my kids - what I want and what I want for them. Not what he wants (to stay). As soon as I take the focus off him I instantly feel so relieved and positive and optimistic and strong.
I know that I want him to leave. Most likely permanently. I hadn't thought about the concept of detaching, but it makes such sense and I know it would be exhausting to have him here. It would keep this whole situation front and center when I need to focus on other things. My kids, myself, recovering, etc.
After some time, I think I may give him an opportunity to come back, but he will have to do everything you advised (NO, counseling, etc.) and advised on this website. Or maybe I won't. No need to decide right now. I'm hearing you all say not to make permanent decision, and its such a relief to just take this off the table for a while. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't. Not really critical to me.
I know that I can't take him at his word, or put too much stock in anything he says. I will need to judge him by his actions. I suspect he will not be able to "rise to the occasion" (I love that phrase), but I'm fine with that. If I give him a chance, I've done enough. If I don't give him a chance, I've done enough. I've been 1000x more civil, calm, and understanding than he deserves. I don't owe him anything anymore, do I... That realization is slowly hitting me. It's a weird, but freeing, realization that I can stop worrying about him, that he is his own problem now, that I don't have to figure out how to fix this for him.
I know that I will emerge from this happier, healthier, and stronger.
I still am deeply worried about my children, but trust myself to make the best decisions for them, always. They will be fine. Better than fine. But it's going to be tough for a while. If I am positive and strong I can help them get through this without ruining their lives. I hope.
Thank you again. It's amazing to have a place to share this information and to have people who have been with it give support and advice.
This is such new territory, I'm sure for everyone this happens to. I didn't know there were such thing as "triggers." But they are everywhere. References to adultery in movies and on TV. Girls on TV with tattoos. (She has tattoos, which he has always disliked. I don't have any tattoos.) SNL last weekend - a cast full of young women with dimples, like the OW. Songs on the radio. Superbowl commercials. I'm sure those fade with time, right?
million tears posted 2/4/2014 10:18 AM
Yes, the triggers fade with time. Some things still trigger me a little and I'm 5 years out. Some holidays do but for the most part that part has gone away for me. I don't even remember on D-day anymore.
The shock might wear off and you may get angry. Very angry. I think that is normal. Your emotions will be up and down. That is normal too.
I also had a double betrayal. It's losing 2 people in your life. Somehow the closeness and "love" they supposedly shared was harder to take than the actual sex.
You are NOT stupid. I still kick myself for ignoring all of the signs and when I did catch him in something, I was like you. I believed the lame excuses. That makes us trusting, not stupid.
I agree with the others who said you don't need to make any big decisions right away. Just be strong and don't let him weasel himself back in right away. Make his prove himself. A big regret of mine is never kicking my WH out so I could make a rational decision.
norabird posted 2/4/2014 10:27 AM
I'm so sorry you find yourself here. That said, your head is clearly straight on your shoulders! Keep listening to yourself. You want him out? he's gone. You want to focus on yourself and your kids? Perfect! The shock and numbness can often just be a temporary reaction, followed by more intense pain and anger, and definitely triggers, but stay firm with what you need, take care of yourself, and forgive yourself for missing the signs. You are not to be faulted for trusting. It is too bad you were taken advantage of but it does not mean you are stupid.
Sending you strength.
hopingforhappy posted 2/4/2014 10:31 AM
I think this is the nub of it: he is his own problem and he has to figure out how to fix it. You are very wise to come to that conclusion so early in the process. It can take some of us a very long time to come to terms with the fact that our WS did what they did because there is something wrong with THEM, not US.
Please do not feel stupid. You were trusting of your WH, that's all. Many of us have stories about things that happened that should have been red flags. In my case, I got an anonymous phone call saying that my FWH was having an A. Did I believe the caller or my FWH (who denied)? Of course I believed my FWH. I got copies of e-mails (nothing explicit though). Still believed my FWH. I trusted my FWH and you know what? I don't want to be M to someone I don't trust, so I am not sorry I trusted him. I am sorry he betrayed that trust, but that is on him. After much work on his part, I trust him again. Only you can decide if trust can be re-built and as you so accurately point out, you don't have to decide today or any time soon.
You at the beginning of a long haul, not matter what you decide about R or D. Pace yourself.
Lovedyoumore posted 2/4/2014 10:52 AM
You asked if it is possible for your WH to abruptly turn off his feelings for this person. Yes, they can.
First, statistically, I have read that the fog in an A relationship dies a natural death around year 2.
Second, the "real" DDay for some WS is a wake up call. All of a sudden the light of day shows them the hideous ugliness of the A and their AP.
My H falls into the 2nd category. The light of day caused him great shame and horror that he had been living such a life of lying and deceit. On PA DDay he called OW and ended it at 6:15 am. Her crying and emotional pleas finally fell on deaf ears.
It sounds as if your WH and his AP were using each other. There may have been an emotional connection, but it was born out of a selfish motivation that put them together. A good therapist for your H can help sort out the causes as well as the fallout. Right now you are plowing through your pain and chaos, and that is enough. Your H and your marriage can be salvaged later if you desire because right now you and your babies need each other. Your H is an adult who needs to move on his own to get this thing right for the first time in a while.
kellys2014 posted 2/4/2014 12:19 PM
Home from work with my daughter today (just a bad cold, I think).
Reading your responses again and again. They are so helpful. I have cut and pasted some of the things I most want to remember into a new document. I cannot thank you enough.
I have read the 180 (need to re-read a few more times), and am doing some of those things already, I think. But I wonder about how much information to give him. I think I've been too open and honest about my feelings, maybe. Via e-mail. I need to start locking that down and beginning to detach, as suggested, right? What goes on in my head is my business. I think the 180 suggestions are terrific because they are really all about me and my sanity and happiness, and not about trying to get someone to come back that I probably don't even want. Love them.
I did e-mail him this morning in response to an e-mail he sent yesterday afternoon. I just started to type out what his e-mail said, then decided not to waste the mental energy thinking about it. Baby steps. My point is that I e-mailed him reminding him to make arrangements to move out by this Sunday night. I told him I needed a lot of space and time to decided if I wanted to consider a reconciliation. In the meantime I asked him to do three things by this Sunday night:
1) NC letter - told him to Google it and blind CC me. Cut off communication, block her, etc. Destroy and evidence of her in his life (text, photos, gifts, etc.). He has already told me he has cut off communication and doesn't have photos/texts. I am asking again to point out that I don't necessarily BELIEVE HIM. I told him to let me know if he couldn't do this and I would consider the separation permanent.
2) I don't want to ever see his iPhone again. He has not had it out for two days (without me suggesting) and it has been very, very helpful. That thing is like the trigger of all triggers. I told him that if I did want to reconcile he would have to replace it with a granny phone. If he is smart he will do that now.
3) He has to seek IC. Needs an appointment booked by this Sunday.
I don't know if he'll do these things or not. I know he wants our family back, but not sure if he wants me back, necessarily. But not important.
Now I intend to go about my life. I have made plans with my cousins (we live in the same town) to go out for a girls night this Saturday night. Intend to have a few drinks. Already asked him to watch the kids. I am going to join a gym until I get into ski condition and will start hitting the slopes asap. I take my kids every weekend and stand around in the cold watching them have the time of their lives. :) Me too! As soon as Spring hits I'm signing myself up for tennis lessons, fat behind or no. I'm going to go to the movies alone. Whatever kind of music I want to play, I'm blasting it. I think I'll get a floral duvet cover. A pink one.
Did I mention that I can't stand my in-laws? I can't stand my in-laws. I really can't stand my in-laws. I have grown to love his mother (she was an acquired taste), but the whole family is still course, crude, common, and classless. I've already unfriended all of them on FB. He can explain why, if they ask.
Thanks again for letting me vent and for your thoughtful responses. I have one question:
Everyone has emphasized not making major, permanent decisions right now. Does that apply to my career? I have been wanting to leave my job for a while, but feel stuck because of the workload, it's tax season, etc. (I'm in financial planning at an accounting firm) I've been going to school (online at night), pursuing a new degree. I have enough money in the bank to pay the bills for six months and could stop paying for daycare. My children are going to need more of me during this transition. It would make me really happy to be able to be a SAHM again for a while (which is what I was for six years, until he lost his job, at which point I ran out and got two job offers in three weeks, while he was unemployed for seven months AND apparently thought this would be the ideal time to START AN AFFAIR WITH OUR FORMER BABYSITTER - while I was working, commuting two hours a day, and spending every free moment with our children). Oops, got derailed there for a minute. Sorry about that, back on track. Wow, you can't make this stuff up. It's like he went out of his way to be a cliche. ANYWAY. I would love to be able to focus on the kids and school and not have them in after school care/day care, especially this summer.
The thought makes me really happy, and makes sense to me. My kids would be THRILLED. But do I need to wait to make a decision like this? I don't think it's just my emotions talking. It was one of the first things I thought of when this happened and has consistently seemed like a good idea. I don't know if I can manage work, kids, school, and emotional turmoil by myself. I'd like to remove work from the equation. I'll have to figure out medical insurance... Hmm. Bad idea?
Freeme posted 2/4/2014 13:20 PM
When I read your posts I see a very strong woman. The way you reacted, the way you are thinking things out. The fact that you just kicked him out of the house. You have been doing really well.
My concern is that you might dig yourself into a hole if you quit your job. You write that it seems easier to D then to R. So many SAHM find the opposite true. With legal fees, medical, paying for two homes(two everything) during Separation.
Even as I write about the logical choice I can understand why you would want to be a SAHM again. I LOVED it and this might be your last chance to really enjoy those kids. Not too much help sorry.