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By Peter Becker
Managing Editor
Hawley Council on Jan. 9th approved the transfer of a liquor license to Mill Market LLC, which operates the grocery store on the first floor of the Hawley Silk Mill.
There were no dissenting votes. Councilman Joseph Faubel was absent.
Micro-brewery beers and other types not readily available in the area will be sold there, said James Murray, a retired State Police man who worked with the PA Liquor Control Board and served as a consultant for the Mill Market's application. The product will be able to be consumed on premises or carried out, to the maximum of two six-packs, said Anthony Waldron II esq., one of the Hawley Silk Mill's developers.
Waldron said that Lackawanna College officials were notified of their intention, and there was no objection. He said it was conceivable that sale of alcoholic beverage could eventually occur at the Cocoon, but it was up the Liquor Control Board. The Mill Market LLX also operates the Cocoon Coffee Shop across the road. Justin Genzlinger added that the intention is to limit the product to small batch craft beers, but there was a chance that they would later offer wine by the glass. He said they would need a separate license to sell Pennsylvania wines. Genzlinger stressed that they were not planning a "bar."
The license was transferred from Keuster's tavern in Beach Lake, which has been closed for years.
Mill Market LLC opened in the summer of 2012 and offers food products including gourmet and organic varieties, produced within a 200 mile radius of Hawley.


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Not sure if this is the right board, but my puppy whose name is
Petey is being on neutered Wednesday. Can anyone tell me if neutering
helps at all with potty training? At this point potty training doesn't seem
to be on the top of his list, jumping on any unsuspecting animal that walks
by does :). Anyway if anybody has any answers .please let me know

subset: commoncrawl


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Above It All
Rod Partington 3/28/2009 6:18:17 PMBeautiful capture,Juli. Love the title. #1105386
Summer A. Kozisek 4/22/2009 10:40:56 PMStunning macro Juli, congrats on your finalist! #7437091
Betsy Labuschagne 4/23/2009 12:34:30 AMCongratulations on your outstanding finalist Juli!!! #7437463
Juli Stewart 4/23/2009 8:00:58 PMThank you! I'm so excited about being a finalist. #7442364
Exif: F Number: 5.6, Exposure Bias Value: 0.00, ExposureTime: 1/2000 seconds, Flash: did not fire, compulsory flash mode, ISO: 400, White balance: Auto white balance, FocalLength: 85.00 mm, Model: Canon EOS 40D
Uploaded on 3/28/2009 5:20:32 PM
Camera: Canon EOS 40D Digital SLR
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I got this foundation ages and ages ago but have only just got around to reviewing it!
DiorSkin Forever Extreme Wear Foundation SPF25 is built to last. Its special selling point is that its supposed to last all day.
They Say:
This luxurious foundation stays flawlessly smooth and looks naturally perfect in any environment. An exclusive nano-stretch network inspired by nano-textile technology to insure makeup will fit like a second skin and a unique hydra-gel moisture-stabilizing system, Dior takes smoothing, wear, and comfort to the ultimate extreme of beauty. Non-transfer and waterproof.
Did you hear that? Waterproof!
Right away I liked this foundation. It has a medium coverage, it feels substantial on the skin giving a soft finish, slightly matte by still glowy effect. Not allergies to this and no overwhelming scent.
I got this in SAND 31 – in hindsight, Medium Beige, 30 would've been a better match as it has more yellow in it.
The texture of this foundation is rather lovely…
…provided that what you want is a fairly rich, medium coverage foundation that dries to a slightly soft matte finish.
I would say that on dry skin or people who get flaky patches this may cling a little. For oily skins or combination, this could work a treat.
One thing for sure, it covered any imperfections I had easily and it really does stay place – I would say for for an extra 3-4 hours more than my average foundation even without primer or a powder.
It covered pores well and controlled oil well (which is more than I can say about my latest high end matte finish foundation purchase – will update you on that shortly!)
On my hand:
One coat (if you like!) on my face – the finish is good, and the kind I tend to like!
I have to say, next time I'd probably buy the Diorskin Nude foundation instead of this one purely because I want to give it a try but this is a great foundation for people who want their base to last and last.
Would you try Diorskin Foundation?


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Mike Tomlin's weekly press conference drew slightly more attention than usual on Tuesday.
Tomlin, who is expected to be disciplined by the league at any time for wandering into the field of play on Thanksgiving night — and into the path of Ravens receiver Jacoby Jones during a long kickoff return, told reporters that he hopes the league fines him and not the Steelers.
That's the message from one of the various tweets posted in real time by Ed Bouchette of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
What Tomlin wants may not matter. Three years ago, the NFL fined the Jets $100,000 after former strength coach Sal Alosi erected a wall on the far side of the white stripe, aimed at interfering with gunners from the opposing punt team.
While Tomlin occupies a higher position than Alosi did, Tomlin is the head coach. When the head coach breaks the rules, the coach and the team typically get punished.
Tomlin also reiterated his acceptance of responsibility for the situation.
"I don't know what a just punishment is," Tomlin said, via Aaron Wilson of the Baltimore Sun. "I'm not nervous about it. My money and wallet is what it is because of football."
Maybe he should be nervous, given that he has helped make the case for a strong punishment from the league.
"My actions on that play are embarrassing," Tomlin said, via Wilson. "I take full responsibility for my actions. I understand there are repercussions that come with a blunder of that nature. With my position comes the charge of preserving and protecting the integrity of football.
"That play jeopardized the integrity of the NFL from a competition standpoint. That's a mistake on my part. I was focused on the blunder itself and the embarrassment it produced. As a head coach in this league we are held to a higher standard of conduct. Based on that, my actions were below the line."
Tomlin also expressed "shock" that some viewed his actions as intentional. Via Bouchette, Tomlin said he had adopted a false sense of security regarding his placement on kick returns because none all year had made it past the 50 yard line.
And while the question of intent remains relevant in the court of public opinion (and KDKA-TV angle that emerged on Monday tends to make Tomlin's movements seem like something other than meandering), a league source tells PFT that, when it comes to the punishment to be imposed, intent is irrelevant. The rule was violated; whether Tomlin meant to do it doesn't matter.
Arguably, it should — especially if Tomlin isn't being honest about the situation. And while we (or at least I) believe Tomlin is being honest, the league should look at all available video in order to determine whether it was an accident. As we understand it, the league will indeed review all available video.
For now, the good news for Tomlin is that the NFL doesn't care if he's telling the truth. Then again, that may also be the bad news. They don't care if he's telling the truth because, regardless of the reason or the excuse, he ended up with a foot in the field of play, just as the action was coming toward him.


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The panel is meant to advise the administration on how the federal government can respond to the needs of communities nationwide that are dealing with extreme weather and other climate impacts.
Zimmer received national recognition last year for her handling of Hurricane Sandy.
"One year ago, our community experienced the kind of disaster that will become more and more frequent as a result of climate change," said Zimmer. "I am honored to be a part of this initiative and look forward to sharing our experiences and lessons to help make communities nation-wide more resilient."
According to a press release, "President Obama established the Task Force as part of his Climate Action Plan to cut carbon pollution, prepare communities for the impacts of climate change that cannot be avoided, and lead international efforts to address this global challenge."


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nope While the full list isn't very detailed, it certainly covers a lot of fixes, adjustments, and new content. I'm not surprised, however, as it has unfortunately become commonplace to launch MMORPG titles before they are truly ready for release.
Square Enix recently gave an additional 30 days of playtime to all players that had purchased the game before October 25. I'll ask the same question again: is anyone still playing this game? Do you plan to stick with it through these patches? A PlayStation 3 version is still planned for release in 2011.


text: Wolves Squad Fixtures Results Pos Name PLD GLS ASS CS GA MTH TOT Comments Report Abuse Please choose what you want to report Abusive Spam Enter a comment (not mandatory) Report Cancel Subject: (max 128 chars, can be empty) Message: Please sign in to be able to post. Hide replies clint Jackson 6 years ago Hi to you all. Just to let you know that the F1 season is open and I have formed F&F League. so as we are all having fun here I will give you first choice to join me this season. So come along to Road trip for nerds league pin number 24 hope to see you all there have fun. MimozA 6 years ago To join professional Players & Coaches & Scouts & Agents League use pin (15809) and password (epl2011-12) Alex PlayerFC.com Dung Ly 6 years ago Come join the Elites League. 14757! See you there! matt johnston 6 years ago come join my totalfootie league pin 14887 John 6 years ago Hi I'm John from Singapore. I would like to invite you to join our F&E League "Singapore Best of the best". I am hoping to limit the teams to a max of 15. Come and join us!!!!!!!!! The Pin is 14555. danshum 6 years ago Join my F&E league(pin=14720, passwd=champions), still many places left... instant confirmation =) Sam Clayton 6 years ago Join my league peeps - pin = 14195 :) danshum 6 years ago Hi all, just formed a new F&E league here in NZ... all are welcome from all over the world =) Pin is 14720, thanks! clint Jackson 6 years ago hi just a view places left for my main league pin 13602. If you are looking to join the 5 a-side f & e leagues pin 14708 universe trophy league. see you there Allgunsblazin 6 years ago Come on you Golds!!!The Mighty Arse League Pin No 14506 Come and join us !!! clint Jackson 6 years ago Hi come and join me this season for out of this world fun and excitement pin 13602 space station league Sam Clayton 6 years ago Join my league peeps: http://www.fantasyleague.com/Classic/FriendsLeague/View.aspx?leagueid=14195 Anyone Welcome :) Pin = 14195 Trewend 6 years ago Hi there trying to get a league going with one team from each country. 1st in 1st served. Use Code 13906 and state country Colin Boyle 6 years ago Come join my F&E league...looking to get 10-12 competitive teams, so that we qualify for all prizes. Don't get stuck in a league with 25-30 teams, where you could be out of the running by November...everyone is welcome, but want to cap this at no more than 12 teams.....this will be fun and competitive all the way to May! PIN is 13963 Michel 6 years ago Premier League Rivals is ready for the 2011/2012 season. See You there - Pin: 13570 Michel 1800-WorldCup.com Allgunsblazin 7 years ago A few places left in "The Mighty Arse" League Pin No 5877, feel free to join, & we have a laugh, so sensitive souls need not apply lol. Michel 7 years ago Join the Premier League Rivalry - Pin: 5534 Password: rivals Michel 1800-WorldCup.com MimozA 7 years ago Please join "Bring it on" league - use pin (5214) and password (epl2010-11) to be added to the league... Colin Boyle 7 years ago Join my F&E league..league PIN is 4879…just go to league and send me a join request Looking to build a 10-12 team competitive F&E league for this season. If you are someone that likes to play the entire season (vs. having a bad first weekend and forgetting about it), please join. With a league of this size we would be eligible for all prizes and likely most teams can remain in the hunt for most of the season. Don't get bogged down in some 30 team F&E league…this one will be fun and competitive! Graham Atkinson 8 years ago F&E Join my league it hasnt kicked off yet. Pin 1942 Prev 12 Next


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PARIS, Sept 30 (Reuters) - French businessman Vincent Bollore said on Friday that he was still interested in acquiring a stake in Italian car designer Pininfarina . "We would like it very much. It's a very nice company. We already have ties with them on electric vehicles and I would be delighted to go beyond that," Bollore told journalists on the sidelines of a news conference of the so-called Paris-based Autolib electric car sharing scheme. (Reporting By Matthias Blamont, Dominique Vidalon)
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|L-Glutamine / suggested doseage is 40 Grams daily?
Feb 10, 2001
I read that a study was conducted to determine a nutritional supplement that would help minimize wasteing in HIV patients. Subjects were given 40 grams of glutamine per day in combination with antioxidants. Subjects receiving glutamine primarily gained weight in the form of lean body mass. In light of these findings, the researchers suggest that combining glutamine-antioxidant supplementation with nutritional counselling may provide an effective and low-cost approach to treating AIDS-related wasting. QUESTION: Am I correct to assume the following conversion of mg to grams? 1000 milligrams = 100 centigrams = 10 decigrams = 1 gram so 40 grams a day = 40,000 mg - or 10 pills at 4000 mg per day. Appreciate your confirmation!
Response from Dr. Dieterich
Your metric conversion is correct. However, I am not totally convinced about glutamine. On the other hand, the downside risk is only the 10 pills per day and the cost. I would leave that decision to you and your MD. DTD
Re: Fascial Wasting
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More orientation links to local towns
By Jessica Daniels On April 27, 2010 · 2 Comments · In General Admissions News, Our Neighborhood
I grew up on the south shore of Long Island, where each town had the bay as the southern border, and there was one town each to the east, west, and north. Then I moved up here, where the borders are ragged and you can travel along a single street unaware that you have crossed from town to city and back again. With all these interconnections, housing-hunting incoming students needn't feel bound to Medford and Somerville.
In particular, parts of both Arlington and Cambridge are within a mile of Fletcher, and five miles would get you to Winchester, Belmont, Watertown, Malden, as well as parts of Boston. Depending on your housing needs and whether you decide to bring a car, any of these towns could be the right place for you to spend a couple of years.
As for that tricky question of whether to bring a car, here's what I'd say. If you don't own one, don't buy one! You'll find other students who can run you over to the supermarket now and then. And, there are Zipcars on campus, including in the Fletcher parking lot. If you already own a car, I'm sure you'll find it helpful, but you'll want to plan carefully to prevent unintended expenses. We locals get used to a crazy array of parking (more accurately: NO PARKING) regulations on our narrow streets. Meanwhile, public transportation is good, so owning a car isn't a necessity.
2 Responses to More orientation links to local towns
Jessica Daniels says:
That's a really nice comment, Subhash. Of course, there are many great schools out there for IR (LSE being one of them), though I'm certainly biased enough to think that Fletcher is extra special. I look forward to seeing an application from you in the future.
Good luck with your exams, etc.,
Subhash Ghimire says:
This is totally unrelated but just wanted to share. I got into London School of Economics and IR for the IR program. I was so excited to apply but then the news did not excite me at all because I want to go to Fletcher badly.
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PENN — Avon Grove School Board member William Sites was not at the March 28 board meeting to comment when the minutes of the last meeting were changed to remove items he had requested be made a part of the record,
During the March 14 meeting, there was considerable discussion over provisions for fair share and political action committee contributions being included in the new teachers contract. Sites also challenged the appropriateness of board member Herman Engle voting on the contract when he is married to a teacher in the district.
In support of his opposition to all of the above, Sites brought copies of letters to the editor from local newspapers that he asked be added to the official record.
When it came time for the minutes of March 14 to be approved, board president Bonnie Wolf directed that the documents Sites referred to be removed because the authors of those letters were not present at the board meetings. "A letter to the editor does not make that person officially present," she said, adding that she has contacted PSBA which agrees with this stance.
Superintendent Augustus Massaro supported the opinion. "The purpose of the minutes are to capture the legal actions that the board of directors takes, and also to capture the comments of people who have public concerns," he said.
Generally, the minutes of the meetings include the name of anyone who addresses the board during public comment as well as the topic they speak upon, but no details of their comments.
As a addition to the collective bargaining agreement, the board approved a memorandum of understanding concerning the summer work schedule for support staff. Beginning with the first full week following the last student/teacher day and concluding on Aug. 9 2013, all district buildings will be closed on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays.
Employees will have a four-day work week, with three different options for work hours. They may choose to work 6 am to 4:30 pm; 7 am to 5:30 pm or work eight hour shifts Monday through Thursday then take a vacation day, personal day, or count it as a day without pay each Friday. AGESPA employees will not be eligible for overtime pay during this period unless they work more than 10 hours in a day or 40 hours in a week.
From the business office, the board exonerated property tax liens and delinquent school taxes for three parcels where the structures have been removed and the taxes are deemed uncollectible. The exonerated amounts are $798, $417.29, and $579.46.
The board also approved two small land locked parcels for tax sale by the County Tax Claim Bureau. The sale prices are $700 and $900 with the delinquent amounts being $6,108.19 and $4,759.47 respectively.
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NEW YORK (AP) — A man works for decades and can barely scrape together enough pennies to fix his fridge. He shuffles into his home late after fruitless workdays, filled with an increasingly urgent despair. Then to top it all off, he's fired.
"Oh boy, oh boy," he mutters quietly to himself at his empty table.
It could be a scene set today, but it's 1949 and it's Arthur Miller's play, "Death of a Salesman."
A Tony Award-nominated revival of the drama currently on Broadway is one of many shows this season that mirror today's tougher times — not only economically, but in a subtle way, socially and politically.
Willy Loman is a man destroyed by his own stubborn belief in the glory of American capitalism and its spell of success. The show works in current day on a micro level; Loman the salesman could be any a middle-class man crushed under the recession. But it also could be a macro-level symbol of the smoke-and-mirrors sham of sub-prime mortgages. When Willy's dream world collapses, so does his life — not unlike our economy.
It was something Miller, who wrote the play at 33, never expected.
"I couldn't have predicted that a work like 'Death of a Salesman' would take on the proportions it has," Miller said in an interview in 1988. He died in 2005. "Originally, it was a literal play about a literal salesman, but it has become a bit of a myth, not only here but in many other parts of the world."
Mike Nichols, director of the revival that critics have hailed as devastating, said the play remains relevant while other shows recede because it's about two universal themes: The economy, yes, but also fathers and sons.
"Some great plays are left sort of where they happened, because the world changes, and then they can be great plays, like 'The Importance of Being Earnest,' but the society has changed," Nichols said in a recent interview. "You can't say that's what things are like now. But you can with this — it remains frighteningly apt."
The play at the Barrymore Theatre stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as the doleful Willy Loman and we watch, transfixed, as he descends, beaten by his own mind as well as by life, until the inevitable bottom. "My God, Willy Loman is my father," one audience member whispered to another during a recent performance. "And Biff is mine," the other replied, referring to Loman's eldest son, the source of Willy's pride, delusion and his greatest disappointment.
The production hews close to the original that starred Lee J. Cobb and was directed by Elia Kazan. The set is a recreation of the original design, a skeleton of with wood and steel giving way to abstract girders and silhouettes of trees.
Nichols, who directed the film "The Graduate" and the play "Barefoot in the Park," said he wanted to stage the show in part because he felt Hoffman was meant to play the lead role and it was right for this period we're in.
"It seemed apt for the moment for now, for the time," he said.
The idea of selling to Nichols seemed more relevant today than ever. Drug companies sell on television, televisions are sold on the Internet. And everyone is selling himself — and can pretend to be whoever he wants to be, Nichols said.
"It's so startling once you're in the middle of it," Nichols said. "It's everyone. Everyone is a salesman, and they're selling themselves, online. Everyone is on Facebook. You can't get into certain places online without Facebook. That's only about being known."
Other Broadway works that became strangely prescient include the revival of Gore Vidal's "The Best Man," which rang true this election cycle with its debate between elitism and populism despite being 50 years old, and David Henry Hwang's "Chinglish," which has uncanny echoes to the political scandal surrounding former Chinese Politburo member Bo Xilai. There's also the battle over gentrification in Bruce Norris' "Clybourne Park."
And "Newsies," which earned eight Tony nominations, is a not-so-subtle love letter to unions wrapped in Disney tinsel as a turn-of-the-century song-and-dance show starring lithe boys in knickers doing back flips. The musical, and its precursor film, is based on newsboy strike of 1899.
Circulation at the turn of the century depended on a cadre of boys hawking newspapers — or, as they were known, papes — around the city. (Extra, extra, read all about it!) They bought papers, sold them at a small profit and had to keep the ones they couldn't sell. When Joseph Pulitzer raised the price of his paper, "The World," the boys formed a union and went on strike, and after two weeks of rallies and rabble rousing, they compromised. Publishers would continue to charge a higher price, but they agreed to buy back any papers the newsies couldn't sell.
"All kids are seeing now is 'unions are evil,' 'America can't be great, because we have unions.' What kind of horrible message is that?" asked Harvey Fierstein, playwright and actor, who wrote the book, based on the Disney film by Bob Tzudiker and Noni White. "It's a message delivered by certain politicians."
Fierstein said the title was the most requested by high school producers of all in the Disney cannon, but it had never been turned into an official staged show. So Fierstein, working with Alan Menken who wrote the songs for the film too, wrote a story that would portray unions in a positive light, as a way to sneak in a lesson to the masses.
"An America without equal ground is not America," he said. "So I saw that struggle and fight in 'Newsies.' I knew it was going to reach that younger audience, and so I wanted to teach them something, and to give girls a good role model."
The role model he's speaking of is the character of Katherine, the cub reporter covering the strike and publicizing it as a "children's crusade." Despite the subject matter, the play is by no means heavy — there are tap dances and shuffles and high kicks, and upbeat numbers like "King of New York," that kept a recent audience full of young girls in squealing delight.
The idea of a ragtag youthful proletariat uprising smacks of last fall's Occupy Wall Street movement — but Fierstein said the show for him is more in the spirit of the 1960s hippies than the 99 percenters.
"The show is definitely about stuff that everyone except for the 1 percent has to worry about," he said. "But I'd really compare to the 1960s. I just want to say, in an innocent kind of Disney, way: Don't give it away kids, this is your world."


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Volleyball Notes in PDF
Four Big 12 teams remain ranked in the latest AVCA national poll with Texas (No. 9) and Kansas State (No. 14) maintaining their spots from last week. Kansas moved up three places to No. 21, while Iowa State is ranked 23rd entering the week. For the fifth straight week, Oklahoma is receiving votes.
The Longhorns and Jayhawks posted 2-0 marks last week with KU defeating West Virginia and Baylor and UT winning over TCU and Kansas State. Seven conference matches are on tap this week.
Texas sits atop the Big 12 standings with a 6-0 mark, while Kansas is in second with a 4-0 record. The two teams meet on Friday night in Austin.
The Jayhawks are a perfect 10-0 at home this season, but play two conference road matches this week, traveling to Oklahoma on Wednesday in addition to their trip to Texas. Kansas is looking to match its highest win total in the last seven seasons (17, 2010) on Wednesday at OU. The last time the Jayhawks tallied 17 victories in a season prior to 2010 was the 2004 campaign, which resulted in an NCAA Tournament bid. KU is the only league team who has not lost a home match on the season.
Texas has 36 straight conference home wins and 20 straight conference wins - both the longest active streaks in the Conference. UT has not lost a Big 12 match since Sept. 28 of last season when it dropped a 3-2 decision to then-ranked No. 25 Oklahoma. Texas' last home conference loss also came from Oklahoma when the Sooners defeated UT on Oct. 29, 2008.
Texas continues to lead the nation in blocks, averaging 3.23 per set. Individually, five players from the Big 12 rank in the top 50 nationally in blocks per set.
With a win over WVU on Wednesday, Iowa State will secure its 700th victory in program history.
Kansas and Kansas State are 16-2 entering the week. Both teams are two of 10 squads nationally with an overall winning percentage of .889 or better.
Texas (8), Kansas State (9), Kansas (14) and Oklahoma (17) are ranked in the top 20 of the latest NCAA RPI report. The Big 12 finished 2011 ranked first in NCAA RPI.
The Big 12 is 92-28 against non-conference competition this year. The Conference is 11-10 against ranked teams outside the Big 12.
Kristen Hahn became the first volleyball student-athlete to claim four straight weekly honors (all categories) when she was named the Defensive Player of the Week on Monday.


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The Boston Symphony Orchestra will perform three programs next season at Carnegie Hall under the baton of its incoming music director, Andris Nelsons.
Carnegie Hall announced its 2014-15 season on Wednesday, weeks before the BSO will present details of its own Symphony Hall season. Yet because the orchestra's Carnegie programs will be performed in Boston first, the Carnegie announcement offers an early glimpse of what will most likely be three subscription weeks of Nelsons' first season in Boston.
Nelsons' first Carnegie program (on April 15, 2015), will feature Strauss's "Ein Heldenleben" alongside Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 27 with soloist Richard Goode and Gunther Schuller's "Dreamscape" in its New York premiere. The following night, Nelsons will lead Shostakovich's Symphony No. 10 and Beethoven's Violin Concerto with soloist Christian Tetzlaff. And on April 17, 2015, the third program will be devoted to Mahler's Symphony No. 6.
Close BSO watchers may find some relief in the fact that the orchestra will be returning to its schedule of three dates per season at Carnegie Hall. That's been the BSO's traditional number of Carnegie appearances for at least the last two decades, but this season, during its lengthy interim period without a music director, the BSO's Carnegie presence was reduced to only two programs, a small but symbolic reflection of the impact of its podium vacancy on its national profile. Those performances this year will take place on Feb. 11 and 12, and will be led by Bernard Haitink.
Leading off its season announcement, Carnegie also unveiled plans for a three-week festival devoted to the music and arts of South Africa, and a monthlong early music series titled "Before Bach." Next season's two "Perspectives" artists, each given a series of concerts to curate, will be mezzo-soprano Joyce DiDonato and violinist Anne-Sophie Mutter. Also given an expanded presence next season will be the composer Meredith Monk, appointed to the prestigious Debs Composer's Chair.Jeremy Eichler can be reached at email@example.com.


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There's something that every single American family understands, that Conservative budget hawks don't want us to talk about, and that's the difference between spending and investing.
Let's assume that the typical American family collects its paycheck at the end of the month and decides to go out to eat for a fancy dinner. A couple glasses of wine, an appetizer, four entrees, and a few desserts later, the waiter brings the check and – at least here in DC – that family is now out about $150. Do that once a month as a special treat, and you're pushing $2000 a year. That money is not coming back. It was spent and is now gone.
Now let's assume that same family decided to skip the fancy dinners all year. Instead they take $2,000 and put it into home repairs like a new air conditioner, improved insulation, or a new rooftop deck. Unlike spending it on a fancy dinner, that money doesn't just disappear. It will actually create more wealth in the long run through lower energy bills and an increase in the value of their home. That's an investment.
Or let's assume that same family uses a chunk of their paycheck to start a pre-paid college fund for their kids. Again, that money doesn't disappear. Instead, it was invested in the future for their kids to earn a college degree.
Or heck, maybe they just buy $150 worth of stocks every month like everyone else. Again, the money doesn't disappear. In fact, in a year it might be worth $2500. That's another investment.
American families know the difference between spending and investing. And they know when times are tough, they cut back on the spending but not on the investments. That means fewer fancy dinners out, but no cuts to their kids' college fund or mortgage payments on their home.
But why isn't this same logic applied to our government? Like a family, our government is capable of spending and investing.
Money put into our wars is the perfect example of spending. As a nation, we can spend a trillion dollars deploying troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, manufacturing and detonating bunker busting bombs, and re-fueling aircraft carriers in the Gulf. Guess what happens to all of that money? It's obliterated.
War spending is just that – spending. It doesn't create more wealth in the future. The shards of a Predator Drone's Tomahawk missile in Northern Pakistan will not create one dime of lasing wealth for our nation. Our military might as well have gone out for a few million big fancy steak dinners.
No question about it, our government spends a lot of money. And when it comes to reducing our deficits, there's certainly a lot of waste, fraud, and abuse within that spending that can be cut – particularly in the Defense Department, which seems to have lost $2 trillion dollars they can't account for.
But let's not confuse spending with investing, which our government also does a lot of.
For example, money put into Pell Grants so more kids can go to college is an investment that will create lasting wealth for our entire nation when those kids graduate and become a productive part of the economy. Our experience with the GI Bill indicates every dollar spent will return at least seven dollars – and maybe as much as fifty dollars – back to government coffers in the form of income taxes from more productive and higher-paid workers.
Money put toward green energy projects like wind farms, solar plants, and electric cars are investments that will create a boat-load of jobs, reduce our demand for foreign oil, and make our environment cleaner.
Money put toward infrastructure like new roads, bridges, and high-speed rail systems are investments that will make it cheaper and easier for businesses to ship goods across the country or for Americans to travel and go on vacation.
Money put into health care research is an investment that will cut down on the costs diseases inflict on our economy, and, as a bonus, give us a healthier, more productive workforce.
Even money put toward social welfare programs like food stamps and unemployment benefits are investments. Moody's did research into this and found that for every dollar invested in expanding the food stamp program, the economy generates an additional $1.73. And for every dollar invested in unemployment benefits, the economy generates an additional $1.64. That's a pretty good return on investment.
President Obama often says the word "investment" when referring to money put into education programs, infrastructure, and health care research. But you will never hear Republicans use the word "investment." For them, it's always spending, spending, spending.
Ever since Reagan said, "The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help,'" Conservatives have been hell-bent on convincing all of us that government can't do anything right. That all it can do is spend – or waste – money.
But this ridiculous talking point ignores an entire national history of worthwhile investments - from Jefferson's Louisiana Purchase to Lincoln's Land Grant Colleges to FDR's New Deal to Eisenhower's Interstate Highway system. All were investments made by our government that created enormous wealth in the long-term for the nation in the form of new jobs, better education, and more efficient transportation. And they all more than paid for themselves by the increase in tax revenues that comes with increased economic activity.
But Conservatives know that if they drag the name of government through the mud enough, then they can convince the American people that our American experiment in democratic governance is a failure. So they appoint lugheads like "Brownie" to head up FEMA, and then point out FEMA's subsequent failures to justify privatizing it.
Whether they call it "austerity" or call it "Starve the Beast," the goal is the same: slash government investments and let the private sector handle the work of building our national infrastructure, caring for our sick and elderly, and transitioning to a new energy source. But rather than all of this work being done for the public good as the government would ensure, it will be done for the private profit-good of a handful of fat cats on Wall Street.
Today, with the so-called "fiscal cliff" looming, Conservative budget hawks are still ignoring – or lying about – our government's role as an investor. Paul Ryan's budget, which is the Republican starting-point in negotiations, proposes massive cuts to crucial investments like Medicare, Pell Grant programs, and green energy.
In the short-term Ryan's cuts will lower the deficit. But in the long-term, those fewer investments will inflict serious harm on our nation. What will the American workforce look like in 20 years with a million fewer college graduates? How much money will be wasted over the next fifty years on cancer-causing, climate-warming fossil fuels while we procrastinate on clean energy? What sort of damage will be inflicted on our health care system when millions of seniors lose preventative care and instead rely on Ryan's vouchers and the Emergency Room as their health provider?
Just as a family chooses to invest in the areas that are most important to them – like their home, their kids' college education, their healthcare – our government's investments reflect national priorities like education, healthcare, and infrastructure. Without those investments, we have no future. And without a future, then budget deficits and fiscal cliffs really don't matter at all.
Let's put America back to work – let's invest in her once again.


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Whaling Costs Japan Taxpayers $10mln: Pressure Group
Japan's whaling program costs taxpayers $10 million a year, a pressure group said Tuesday, as it demanded an end to the "dying industry".
The International Fund for Animal Welfare said money raised from the sale of whale meat falls far short of the cost of running and maintaining the fleet that hunts the mammals in the Southern Ocean.
"The whaling industry has been operating in the red for more than twenty years now," said Patrick Ramage of IFAW.
"It's the taxpayer subsidies provided by the good people of Japan that have been keeping the whaling industry afloat."
In a report issued Tuesday in Tokyo, IFAW said whale meat consumption has been falling since a peak in the 1960s, and that Japan has around 5,000 tonnes stockpiled.
Japan hunts whales under a loophole in the moratorium on whaling that allows "lethal research" for scientific purposes.
But it makes no secret of the fact that meat from the slaughtered creatures ends up on dinner tables.
A Japanese fisheries agency official declined to comment, saying the agency was not aware of the IFAW statement. But he said Japanese whaling was scientific research and was not an industry.
Japan's whaling fleet left port in December aiming to catch around 1,000 whales in the Southern Ocean, where they are being pursued by militant environmentalist group Sea Shepherd.
Japanese coastguard officers will be aboard the ships to cope with possible harassment from anti-whaling activists, the coastguard and fisheries agency officials said last year.
Sea Shepherd activists have clashed violently with whalers in the past, in exchanges that have seen stink bombs thrown at Japanese crew and water jets trained on protesters.
Last week the Australian government lodged a protest with Tokyo after a ship from the Japanese fleet entered its exclusive economic zone.
Canberra is strongly opposed to whaling and launched legal action challenging the basis of Japan's "scientific" hunt in December 2010.
IFAW, which does not take part in the sabotage missions, pushes for what Ramage on Tuesday said was a "dispassionate and logical" approach.
"Japan's dying whaling industry is being propped up by millions of dollars a year in public money," he said.
"We've encouraged (policymakers) to consider the alternative of whale watching and we've been met with an especially positive response.
"Ultimately the decision to end whaling... will be made here in Tokyo by Japanese decision makers for reasons that make sense to them."


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Where to start......
I've been unable to spend any time in front of the computer as of recent, but I wanted to share the excellent fabrication that went into my car last week.
Im not going to take the time to post this build so that those who have nothing better to do than watch their post # get bumped up to the next echelon reply with any slanderous banter.
Comments are appreciated, but, please keep it constructive. If you are here to bad mouth my friends with your replies don't expect to illicit a response from yours truly as I wont waste my time with you.....I'd rather do man things like split some wood or hang out with your mom.
Not to say that the inevitable thread hijack wont occur....to that I'd like to say: turn of the computer, take off the sweats and slippers, and get some fresh air.
Thanks to everyone involved with the build from Mudrat Designs and Coyote Steel in Eugene to RALLITEK in Portland (for sourcing that skid plate).zzz:Flame:
custom 2" strut blocks.....the strut top hats sit perfectly flush inside these steel pieces. There are 20 2" square blocks that the unibody sits on.
the bumper wont sit comfortably without trimming a bit of the fat
here's the bumper (custom welded) mounted after coming back from the powdercoater. the skid plate, apparently the last one left in the states, was sourced through rallitek. and that near vertical piece of aluminum was tig welded onto the skid.
Runs grrrrrrreat! and rides very nice on four brand new outback KYB GR2's....just swapped the springs off the lego.
Edited by 99lego, 25 November 2009 - 07:59 PM.
1'st: verb noun agreement 2'nd: FONT change 3'rd: I can't spell 4'th more pics


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UPDATED, SUNDAY 12:35 PM: James Rebhorn died Friday afternoon from melanoma. The actor was diagnosed with melanoma in 1992 and died at home in South Orange, N.J. peacefully around his family. He had been receiving hospice care after being released from NYU Hospital. "He was a wonderful, wonderful man. I represented him since 1990, and I represented him for my entire career," said his Leading Artist rep Dianne Busch. "He was an absolute joy to work with. He was very funny and was warm. He was drawn to projects with a social conscience. One of his favorite movies that he did was Lorenzo's Oil because it made a difference. He had a very strong faith and loved his family. His family was extremely important to him and I saw him make career sacrifices for them." His is survived by wife Becky, and two daughters Hannah and Emma. His family is planning a religious service arrangement to take place in New Jersey.
PREVIOUSLY: The longtime character actor, whose recent recurring credits include playing as Carrie Mathison's father Showtime's Homeland and Special Agent Reese Hughes on USA's White Collar, died Friday at his home. He was 65. James Rebhorn got his start in theater before moving to television where he starred on soaps Guiding Light and As The World Turns in the 1980s, earning a Soap Opera Digest Award nomination for the latter. As a character actor Rebhorn built a career playing figures of authority in films like Independence Day, Scent of a Woman, Carlito's Way, The Talented Mr. Ripley, The Game, Regarding Henry, and Meet the Parents. During his prolific TV career he guest-starred as three different characters in on Law & Order, played the D.A. in the two-part series finale of Seinfeld, and appeared on Third Watch, The Book Of Daniel, 30 Rock, Big Lake, 2012′s Coma miniseries, and HBO's Enlightened. Rebhorn's recent big screen credits include Real Steel, Baby Mama, The Odd Life Of Timothy Green, and Sleepwalk With Me.
Strength and Courage,
Re: James Rebhorn dies(3/23/2014 - 7:03pm)
So he passed from the melanoma that was diagnosed in 1992? It came back 20+ years later?
Re: James Rebhorn dies(3/23/2014 - 7:42pm)
Great actor....terrible loss. It's sad that it takes death to find out he had been battling melanoma. Would obviously like to know more about his story. Possibly wanted to maintain his privacy which is certainly understandable. Going to miss him on Homeland...very recogniozable actor "without" the big name. Peace and comfort to his family!!!
Let's work for better treatments....for a cure!!!!
Re: James Rebhorn dies(3/23/2014 - 8:20pm)
I'm curious too because if he was battling it for 20+ years receiving treatment, etc. . .that is different than being diagnosed and it recurs 15-20 years later. . this case sounds like he was dealing with it the whole time, like it wasn't a diagnosis a long time ago and then recurred years later. . that it was there the whole time but must have been under control until recently


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Student or Learner
Name:MOUL MALIN
No 605, Group 28 Wat Leap Village,
Chom Kasamrong Commune,
Battambang District, Battambang Province
Tel: (855) 12 813 940
Date: 04th February, 2008
Key Stone English School
KES Building, Twin Street,
Behind Nokia Store,
Beside Bayon Hotel yard
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to express my interest in your upcoming available position as Teacher of English which I have been informed by my classmate, Ret Srey Oun, who is currently teaching English at your school. Please find an enclosed resume, which further details my work experience and qualifications.
As you will see my transcripts and certificate attached with my resume, I am a junior student with an outstanding and talented ability, and I will have completed Bachelor of Education and Language in English at Build Bright University (BBU) by the end of the year 2010. According to my professional education, I will become a Teacher of English after graduation, and I am absolutely confident that I will become an experienced and skilful Teacher of English. In addition to my formal Education, I have also gained my teaching experience by teaching English few classes every day. With this position, I have always taught four skills which cover Speaking, Reading Writing and Listening Skills. I have also done a lot of researches which include new exercises and explanation, grammar, vocabulary and so on. More specifically, giving and correcting homework are my major activities during and after class.
With the position of Teacher of English, I am really interested in the opportunity to join your institution as a part to develop human resources in our society. I am looking for position that will allow me to use my skills I have acquired in my studying. I believe I would be an ideal candidate for position as the Teacher of English in your school.
I look forward to meeting you to discuss your needs and my ability to meet them in more detail. In the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you may have. I can be reached at 012 813 940.
Thank you for your time and consideration.


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By BGEA Staff • June 3, 2013 • Topics: Christianity
Christians aren't perfect. Every Christian sins, and every day those of us who are Christians need God's forgiveness and grace. I often think of the Bible's words: "If we claim we have not sinned, we make him (God) out to be a liar" (1 John 1:10).
But when someone claims to be a follower of Jesus and yet makes no effort to obey God and shows no evidence of a changed life, they may be deceiving themselves. The Bible is clear: When we know God, our lives will be different. Yes, our old sinful nature still lives within us, but God also lives within us by His Holy Spirit, and we won't be content to live the way we once did. Jesus said, "Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them" (Matthew 7:20).
Only God knows your cousin's heart, of course, and whether or not he has sincerely trusted Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord. But one of Satan's most dangerous tricks is to deceive us into thinking we belong to Christ and are saved, when in reality we aren't. Judas claimed to be one of Jesus' followers, but he turned against Him and was lost, because he didn't truly believe.
Pray for your cousin, that he will face his need for Christ's forgiveness and new life. Ask God also to give you an opportunity to confront him with the spiritual danger he's facing. And pray also for yourself, that you will stay close to Christ and be faithful to Him the rest of your life.
I would love to go back to church services on Sundays,but my husband doesn't want to go…I feel,if I attend I would like for my better half to share with me.His parents put him threw churchofchrist.how do I get him2join me?
keep drawing closer and closer to God. until you develop a hunger and thirst for him. this happens by praying, studying the word of God, because his word gives healing, and life to us. The more you study the word the stronger and more joy u will feel
Christians need to understand just how much God loves us. Living a saved life is a constant process not an immediate achievement. Thus, as Christians we should seek to grow together, spiritually. In turn, encouraging others through our testimonies.
I am thirsty. I long for a change in my life,i want to attend church services and be a child of God. How am i suppose to do to serve my God??? I need Him in my life
True sir, i am living life exerctly as you said but i really need God's help for a gloreus living in Jesus Name! Amen
May god bless bgea.


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The lights are on
As what the title said, what games are you looking forward to?
I'm looking forward to ArcheAge because of the Sandbox type of MMO and the other features that comes with it plus the graphics are stunning.
The Elder Scrolls Online Because i'm a fan of Skyrim. Period.
Blade & Soul Because of the Asian backdrop of the game, stunning graphics and the martial arts combat system.
How about you guys? :)
I'm also looking forward to ArcheAge. I love the sandbox type of game. I also looking forward to Amnesia: a machine for pigs.
Phantasy Star Online 2, StarCraft II, ArcheAge and BioShock Infinite.
I cannot wait to play Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2. Also I think I am going to buy a DS to play Mirrors of Fate.
Also Metro: Last Night and The Last of US.
Cabal online,. RF version ..................
I heard that the creaters of Left 4 Dead 2 and Resident Evil 6 are crossing over games. Left 4 Dead has made a DLC for Resident Evil which allows the gamer to play either Coach, Ellies, Rochelle or Nick within the Resident Evil world. While Resident Evil (Valve) are making a DLC for Left 4 Dead where two characters from Resident Evil will be placed within the world of Left 4 Dead. This means that any zombie fan would probly be crapping themselfs by now. As for me, I believe this could "possible" work really effeciently with each other.
Matro Last Light, BF4, and The Last of Us (yes I know it is not a PC game)
I'm looking forward to the new Batman game, even though Rocksteady is not making it.
Splinter Cell
Elder Scrolls Online - please don't suck
I'm looking forward to Football Manger 2014 now that Sega has confirmed a native Linux version. Other then that Shadowrun Returns is high on my list of games to play.
I'm also hoping Geniaware keep their word and releases native Linux version of Lords of Football later this year.
Elder Scrolls Online, Wasteland 2, a freaking Fallout 4 announcement
I am also looking forward to TESO.
I just hope it workes out and all!
The Elder Scrolls Online and WildStar are on the top of my pinnacle for games this year. I was looking forward to Thief 2 but it seems that that game has 'gone under'.
I'm also really looking forward to Torment: Tides of Numenera, I kickstarted it and I can't wait, though I think it's more of a 2014 release but Wasteland 2 looks good too!
*Taps Microphone*
I am looking forward to Watch Dogs. I already pre-ordered the game and am more than excited. I can't wait to get my hands on it.
Batman Arkham Origins - Loved Arkham City
Elder Scrolls Online - Same reason as you
Watch Dogs - The graphics look sweet, and just the whole idea of being able to hack into a city is pretty neat.


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Friday, March 7, 2008
"Why don't you just adopt?"
I've been thinking about the aspect of adoption recently because of two things - One, because of me looking into the women who have decided upon living child free and Two, because I met someone who quite possibly has the best adoption success stories ever.
What this post is not about how hard it really can be, and usually is, to adopt. It's also not about how stupid a question that is to ask anyone who is having a hard time ttc. Nor is it about why you would adopt or why you did adopt. My question posed to those who chose ~not~ to adopt. Those who adoption wasn't for them.
I know I'm asking very sensitive questions of a very personal nature. Please feel free to comment anonymously if you would feel more comfortable. But please try to answer if you can, I'm really interested in what anyone has to say.
With our failures ttc#3, I approached my husband about the idea of adoption. Our situation is different because we do have children. If we don't adopt, we aren't looking at living child free, we're just looking at living with two children. Totally different if I was ttc#1. We hadn't yet gotten to this question in our first ttc journey, so I honestly will not be able to give any information of what we would have done if we didn't succeed. It's really because of not knowing the answers to how my own story would have gone, that I ask now.
When I asked my husband, he gave me an emphatic "no". There will be no adoption attempts from his point of view. Since this would be a mutual decision, his "no" pretty much trumps any "yes" from my lips.
I was a little surprised over how quickly he was able to answer me. When asked his reasoning, he responded ~"I don't think I could love an adopted child as much as I love my biological children." Wait - before anyone gets too pissed off over his comment, keep in mind this is from A) a man, B) a man who hasn't had to wonder about adoption and C) a man who hasn't had ~any~ 'experience' with anything adoption related.
His answer shocked me. I just couldn't see how someone could say or even think that. Once you have a child that is yours, I couldn't see anything else but loving that child no differently than something out of my own DNA. But even though I didn't agree, I couldn't fault him for his own feelings. I wasn't going to argue, as adoptions isn't anything I'd really pursue too much. Honestly, it scares me too much. All that work and anticipation with the very real aspect of failure. Sure, TTC has the "same" kind of feelings, but failures would be my own failures. With adoption, I feel that I'd have to put too much ownership on someone else, so when he said "no", I was okay with it. Had he said "yes", I'd of gone into a new direction - delving into how I would really be able to go through the process. I could definitely see myself adopting, it's just the process that really freaks me out.
So, adoption, for us, is out. If this IVF fails, it fails. If we don't succeed and we close up shop at the end of the summer, that's what we'll do. We will still feel blessed to have the family we have, although I'll always know in my heart I have an empty seat at the table. The seat that was slated for child #3.
Onto my question - if you have decided against adoption - why? Was it a mutual decision? Was it like us where one "no" trumped any "yes"? Does anyone else feel like my husband does? Are you not planning on adopting because you have children? Are you not planning on adopting to focus on living child free? Do you want to adopt but can't for any reason? There's a myriad of questions I can ask right now, so you'll have to do the work in answering anything that could be asked.
I want to thank anyone who answers. I wonder what my husband's answer would have been if I asked before we conceived #1. Would he have chosen to live child free? Or would he of had a different feeling due to not having children at home? Would I of no accepted an answer of "no"? I have no way of knowing. But to get an idea, your own stories would help me out. So thank you.
25 comments:
- Wordgirl said...
Hi Nancy,
I think about this one quite a bit -- because of my own reluctance to continue with treatments in part -- part of my rationale for going to the new RE and even contemplating IVF is that G. is very lukewarm on adopting.
Nearly a year ago I went to an adoption meeting alone -- got all the paperwork -- started planning according to our particular situation -- certain age, certain number of years married -- G. previously married..etc. It narrows the field for international adoption...I was so ready to file for adoption from Korea as soon as we could -- until I found out we would have to have been married for three years -- and though we've been together for five -- only married now for about a year and a half...ANYWAY.
I came up with this idea and was all excited..because I wanted to adopt a girl, and because the wait for a referral was longer...I had it all planned out -- in October of '08 when we'd been married two full years we'd put in our papers...and by the time the referral came through we'd have hit the year requirements for marriage etc. G. just said, in his own way, no. "Let's just try naturally and play it by ear."
Ultimately, for him, it was the genetic factor and the prenatal care being out of his control. It isn't an argument that I buy, but we're still working through it.
If anything for me I struggle with open domestic adoption because, in part, I parent a child with another mother -- and it's difficult. It scares me, frankly.
The academic in me could go on and on about the other issues -- debates over cross-cultural adoption and the politics of it all...I've heard and intellectually get the arguments -- but in my heart I guess I believe love is love and if there's a child who needs love --and you have love to give... *sigh*
If I really said this is it for me -- that I had to be a parent and if that were the only way I think G. would agree...but who wants someone with nagging doubts? Wouldn't you rather it be a wholehearted 'I'm in'.
I know he goes back and forth, but for now he's out -- which means we're out.
Thanks for the question.
- March 7, 2008 at 4:06 PM
- joyous melancholy said...
My husband has the same fears about adoption. His own step-father never loved him as much as he loved "his own" children, and told him so on a regular basis. In fact, he told him that he was having his own children, because his step-children weren't really his kids and he wanted a "real" family.
I find this POV twisted and wrong. How can a man marry a woman with children, and then refuse to be any type of a father figure to them?
Anyway, he started to come around towards the end of our TTC#1 journey, when we were facing the possiblity of IVF. I pointed out to him that he loves our friends' kids utterly. There is nothing he wouldn't do for them. If something happened to our friends, and we were to take their children into our home, those kids would be our kids. We'd preserve the memory of our friends, the legacy they're trying to leave their kids, but those kids would be loved and provided for and raised as if we had physically created them. And it wouldn't take any more effort to do so. In fact, it would be MORE difficult to NOT do so.
Once he realized that he already loved "someone else's" kids, and how easy it really is to love a child, he started to open up more to the idea of adoption. I would still like to adopt some day. He is still reticent. But it's not a closed door anymore.
We ended up conceiving on our last step before IVF, so we haven't discussed adoption since. But I think I would have pushed the issue even harder if our choice was between that and living child free.
I can't help but think of Angelina Jolie, who has said that she doesn't bond with her natural children as well as she does with her adopted kids, because she feels sorry for the pasts of her adopted kids while her biological kids have had it all from the start. This seems backwards to me, too.
- March 7, 2008 at 4:41 PM
- Christina said...
I actually wrote a little about adoption on my blog today. In my mind when I was younger I always assumed I would adopt because there are so many kids out there that need parents, why bring another one into the world? I find it very easy for me to get emotionally attached to kids (like friend's kids or kids at our church) and my husband is the same way, neither one of us feels like we'll have a hard time loving an adopted child. My husband is the one that wanted to try for a biological child first. We decided that we'll try for a year and then seriously look at adoption (so we have 4 more months of trying). I would much rather put my savings into adopting a child then try IVF or IUI since my insurance won't pay for it at all and we can't guarantee that we'll get a child out of it in the end.
- March 7, 2008 at 5:24 PM
- Portraits in Sepia said...
I get just as excited thinking about an adopted child of my own in my house and imagining mothering that child as I do about a biological child that I would give birth to. However, in researching adoption the one thing that absolutely has become an emotional obstacle for me is this; How dare someone else come into my house (via a homestudy) and make judgments about whether or not my husband and I would make good, suitable loving parents! I KNOW why the home study is important and I get that. I am just angry that others get pregnant with no input or opinions of professional social workers.....many unfit to have and raise children yet I will have to answer questions regarding my own parents and how they raised me, my beliefs, my habits, my routines, my ability to care for and love a child and other more invasive questions. It is driving me nuts thinking about it. Again, I know why it's important but it's just not fair. (not that I ever expected life to be such.)
To answer your question, my husband has always wanted to adopt first....long before we were ever engaged adoption was on his mind. Very unusual for a Mexican Catholic from a large family.
- March 7, 2008 at 6:05 PM
The only reason why I ~wouldn't~ adopt is because I don't have the money. I like to provide for my family so having a fundraiser, for me, is like asking people for handouts and I can't do that. That's just how I would feel, I'm not saying that's how it really is. I would love to adopt, but there is SO much work involved and SO much money and nothing is definite. That's scary.
That's pretty much the only reason why I wouldn't adopt. I think DH is pretty open to it though, we haven't really talked about it much.
- March 7, 2008 at 6:20 PM
- nancy said...
Thank you all so much for your thoughts so far.... I have responding comments/questions, but don't have the time right at the moment. (you know, with having to take a whole 12 seconds to inject lupron and all! ~wink~)
I'll try to get back to this tonight. I was SO FREAKING EXCITED to see so much effort in your responses. You all RULE.
- March 7, 2008 at 6:50 PM
- Denise said...
This obviously has nothing to do with your post, but I wanted to respond to your comment. The mylanta is to create a coating on the skin so that the adhesive doesn't cause a reaction. I guess the medication still gets through somehow. I've talked to others who said it worked for them, so I figure it's worth a shot!
And yeah, I'm sure there's plenty of room "up there." After all, it's built to fit a baby coming through, right? I don't know what it is about the blue. Gives me the eeby-jeebies.
- March 7, 2008 at 7:15 PM
- Chas said...
During the three years that we TTC the old fashioned way, even though I started to realize something might be wrong with us (lol, yeah, it took a while for it to sink in), I thought about adoption a few times, but it was a very fleeting thought every time. I was in school, and we couldn't afford adoption financially, so I didn't give it a lot of thought.
Then once we faced reality and realized what was up, I gave it a little thought...I don't recall my husband being totally opposed to it, but we decided to try IVF first. I really wanted to carry a baby...call me selfish. IVF #1 worked, and the adoption option wasn't needed for the time being.
Last summer when we tried an FET, and it didn't pan out, I thought about it again. Then we were going to do FET #2 several months ago, and when the remaining embryos didn't make the thaw, I had to make the decision between spending the money on another fresh IVF cycle or attempting adoption. We decided to do IVF yet again. I guess I want to carry another baby...I guess I want a biological sibling for my daughter. It's all selfish, but that's my honest reasoning.
- March 7, 2008 at 7:50 PM
Hi Nancy,
I love reading your blogs because, like you, I had *some* trouble conceiving my first and no trouble whatsoever conceiving my second girl. Mine are also 15 months apart. Anyway, I've been following your story for quite some time as my husband and I wonder what we'll do down the road....will we try for a third or not? But I wanted to comment on your husband's comment regarding adoption. I have to say that I agree with him. I know I am in the minority, but I do think it would be hard to adopt once you have biological children. I would love to hear from someone who has done that. Maybe you just "do" kind of like you wonder if you'll love your second child as much as your first, and you just do--automatically. I don't know... I just wanted to comment that I agree with your husband, but I would love hear from someone who has adopted AFTER a biological child.
- March 7, 2008 at 8:25 PM
- Denise said...
Can you ask Tom a question for me? If the suppository is a rock that gives of progesterone "vibes," can I just hold it in my pocket instead? I mean the vibes should work from there right?
I assume you were kidding about the leaning tower. You are way smarter than that. Way more smart? Wow. Having a brain fart here. How bout way more smarter? Now I sound like George W.
- March 7, 2008 at 8:33 PM
- Io said...
Nancy, you're going to have to wait for my comment because this post has really challenged me. I looked at it a few times this evening and read everyone's comments and now I think I need to write an entry about it tomorrow.
- March 7, 2008 at 9:28 PM
- Spicy Sister said...
Nancy - this was a great post with great questions. In fact, my family has asked me in the past to post about my own reasons for not considering adoption at this time, so maybe this will inspire me to get around to it.
Honestly, there are a lot of complex issues involved in our decision to not pursue adoption right now. A lot. But probably the biggest barrier is that my husband also has said "No" - at least for now. He has his own reasons for this. Some stemming from his childhood and his own fears about fatherhood, some stemming from his desire to actually experience the process of pregnancy, birth, the whole shabang, with me. And there are other reasons of course.
Ultimately, I think on some level I am grateful he is saying "no" right now. It means I don't have to struggle with my own mixed feelings about taking that road at this point. His veto lets me off the hook a little.
I am completely excited about the "idea" of adoption - and even imagine adopting children later in life....but right now, for whatever reasons....I am not totally there. The chance to be pregnant means a lot to me - getting to experience pregnancy and childbirth means a lot to me - getting to see both my husband and myself in our child, well, it means a lot to me. I honestly am just not ready to give up on that dream, you know? So...as long as there's a chance - that's the path I am following for now.
I have been called selfish for this. I have been told that I "have so much to give" to children in need....and I can even agree to some level on both of these points. But a wise woman (who adopted 2 children by the way) once explained to me that becoming a parent, however it happens, is at its core, a "selfish" choice. No matter how much you might feel that you are doing it for noble reasons, ultimately, you want to be a parent. You want children. You want that experience. It is to fulfill this desire in you. I think this is an interesting perspective. And it certainly helped me feel less guilty about our choice for now.
I guess ultimately - I see adoption as a different road, a different battle....a good one, a worthy one - but just not the one we are on right now.
- March 8, 2008 at 10:22 AM
I am ashanmed to say, I have some of the same reasoning that your husband does, and I think part of that worry stems from some expectation of failing or flaw on my part. In addition, I never actually wanted children, until I met and married my husband. My desire is to have his child, not a child. So adoption has never had interest for me.
- March 8, 2008 at 8:21 PM
- Jenera said...
I want to leave a comment on this but seeing as how I am not currently in your position, I will totally understand if you do not post it.
Right after my miscarriage we found out that a SIL was pregnant with her third child and considering an abortion. I was livid since it was days after losing my baby to hear this news. She is a useless piece of human flesh that doesn't even have custody of her first two kids.
About a month ago, she approached my hubby about wanting us to take her baby and adopt it. I was floored. She said we would be the perfect choice for raising her child.
Let me also add in that there were some issues with the people raising her first two kids and we were fully prepared to step in and take them should they be removed from where they are now. I could not see these kids going back into the system.
However, when my the hubby approached me about adopting the baby I was very hesistant. Not because I felt like I couldn't love this baby as my own. I could. However, it would be MY baby. I would not allow this worthless woman have any part of the child's life because I would go through every step to adopt the child.
All that said, of course when the child was old enough to understand, it would be told about the adoption and what not. But still.
Ultimately, I could not handle the stress and risk of having a link to his SIL because I cannot stand her and I know that she would never truly allow us to raise that child, regardless of what she said.
I think I would be open for adoption but I don't think I'm strong enough of a person. Mainly for the reasons why we won't adopt SIL's baby. I think it is unfair when people give up children for adoption (for whatever reason) but expect to still be in their lives for any reason whatsoever.
Like I said, this situation is different than what you might be looking for but I thought I'd put it there.
- March 9, 2008 at 10:35 AM
- KatieM said...
DH and I have talked about adoption...even started looking into our local foster homes and info for Guatemalan adoptions (not sure why there, it just stuck out to us); however I'm not sure I'm ready to really do that yet. Quite frankly, I'm scared of it. Not scared as in "will I love this child as much" but scared of whole process in general. I'm scared DH and I won't be considered good enough, our house may not be roomy enough, our bank account not big enough, would my CF affect an agency's decision on my parenting ability, etc, etc. All of these "enoughs" that someone ELSE gets to decide.
Plus, because I'm young(er) if I did adopt it would have to be a toddler or younger right now....and that wait is long, and the cost is much greater than a round of IVF for us. And, in addition to that with treatments I have some sort of control...protocols, procedures, etc...with adoption that control is taken away, and I am not comfortable with that at this point in time.
Adoption has never been out of the question, and if it came to a point where nothing worked with DH and I (including IVF), we will talk about it again. I don't think it is my desire to actually birth my own child that keeps me going down the treatment route right now, but simply being afraid of the big unknown and scrutiny that is adoption.
- March 9, 2008 at 10:41 AM
- Tracers said...
I'm coming from a totally different perspective. We DID pursue adoption instead of fertility treatments. However, our experience w/adoption was so bad and we felt so burned that we turned to the ART world. It's sort of weird because I had come to terms w/not having bio children and now w/donor insemination it is only going to be 1/2 bio (assuming I get pregnant of course) so in my mind it's almost a partial adoption. So weird...
Like other commenters I have ranted about the home study situation and the open adoption thing.
- March 9, 2008 at 4:02 PM
- Kaci said...
First, I'm so sorry for my visit Saturday! Really, really sorry. I've taken my foot out of my mouth & will comment again.
I think this is a great post. I will admit that I feel the same way your husband does. I think I would struggle to love an adopted child as much as I love Matthew & Scarlett. Of course I also wondered if I could possibly love child #2 as much as child #1, so maybe it wouldn't be an issue. But I wouldn't pursue adoption because of that.
What I don't share with many people is that I had a baby when I was young & single that I put up for adoption. For me it was a question of timing, I was nowhere near ready for parenthood, it was best for the baby and me. When I went through the "waiting couples" book, I immediately eliminated couples who had biological children. My thinking even then was "how could they love an adopted child as much?". I then eliminated couples who had already adopted children, thinking that "at least they had one." Oh how naive! While I'm not yet ttc#3, I get it now. That yearning for #3 is there, and just as strong as that yearning for #1.
I think it is great when people choose to adopt. I just know it's not for me. I couldn't take the chance that I would adopt and NOT love that child just as much as I love Matthew & Scarlett. It wouldn't be fair to the child. If David & I had never gotten pregnant, I can't say what we would have done...
- March 10, 2008 at 7:54 AM
To adopt or not to adopt, that is a hard question for me. I struggle with that one on a few different levels.
As an adoptee myself, I feel that I should be gun-ho when it comes to adoption, but I am not. I long to know what it feels like to have a child growing inside of me. I want to experience birth and all the pains that go along with it.
I also have issues with domestic adoption. I think that it is too prohibitive. Not only do you need to have extensive home studies, you will still have 6 months to bond with the child before anything is finalized. This means in 5 months and 29 days, the mother can change her mind and take the child back. This terrifies me. I had a hard time letting go of a dog I knew 6 days, let alone 6 months.
I will not do foster care. The system is broken. Too many children are sent back to abusive and drug addicted parents only to be taken away over and over. This creates a child with emotional scars and issues that just can't be hugged away.
DH and I will not qualify for a Chinese adoption because I have been on anti-depressants, we do not make $80K and year and we cannot put away $5K a year in a fund for the child's education. I won't even go into the BMI requirements.
Guatemala adoptions could cease to exist if the current issues are not fixed. Russia doesn't want to give up the children a easily as in the past, African adoptions are getting harder and some require a year of residence in the country. Philippine adoptions are near impossible and I am not sure yet on other countries.
All of these adoptions start at $30K and go up from there. Honestly, that is $30K we do not have.
And I hate to say this because I realize how horrible it sounds; I really want a Caucasian baby. I am not saying that I don't like other ethnic backgrounds; I think it is easier on the child in the long run to be with a family close to their genetic heritage. I know that is was hard enough to fit into a family I looked nothing like, and it was Caucasian across the board. If DH and I were to foster-to-adopt, the chances for a white child are very low. A white infant is even lower. And international adoptions are obviously hit and miss depending on the country.
I may feel differently in a few years but as of now, I need to keep trying for myself. I am not ready to give up the fight.
- Bat Girl
- March 10, 2008 at 7:58 AM
Well, I can tell you what happened before we conceived #1. It took 13.5 months to conceive DS.
I was getting so frustrated. I had NO idea what IVF was, or IUI, or temping, or charting, or RE..nada. I literally had no resources to fall back on for information. I literally knew NOTHING about TTC. I didn't know that a year was somewhat typical for a reproductively-healthy couple TTC.
Well, DH and I had a talk about it and I asked him what he thought about adoption. He said he'd rather NOT have a child than raise someone else's bc he didn't think he could love it like his own.
He never considered that, once you have a baby, once you nurture it, fall in love with it, spend nights walking the floors and consoling that tiny little person, that your heart would belong to that baby. Like you said, Nancy, about your husband, my DH just didn't "get" it.
Now, if he had the same question posed to him, he'd be much more likely to at least consider the "idea" of adoption, whereas before, he just automatically shot it down without a moment's hesitation.
But now he knows the love of a child, the love you have for that child..and I think being the person he is now, he would greatly reconsider his first reaction to adoption.
If he had that question posed to him, now, in other words, he'd say he'd rather adopt and have a child than never have one of his own.
- March 10, 2008 at 12:01 PM
- Claire said...
My husband's response was the same as yours. He already has two of his own kids from a previous marriage. I would have adopted in a heartbeat. I mean, there are tons of kids in the world who need a good home and it's the enlightened thing to do. Besides, who really WANTS to do IVF? I surely didn't! Plus, I think being a stepmom, you get over the fact that you are mothering kids that aren't your own DNA.
- March 10, 2008 at 5:30 PM
- Pamela Jeanne said...
I have a saved link on my blog to a post written by someone I truly admire. It perfectly reflects my thinking on the subject:
- March 11, 2008 at 9:26 AM
- shinejil said...
My husband is also not willing to consider adoption, for much the same reasons as yours, Nancy. Though he feels that he would only be able to adopt if he knew he could love the child as HIS child, not as a substitute for something else. I've always dreamed of adopting (the original plan: one bio, one adopted from Russia).
To be honest, with his reluctance, I'd rather be childfree at this point. It would frankly allow me to live a whole other kind of life, and as my calling is in education, I'd feel like I was passing on something of my experience and passion to the younger generation. I've also thought of many other ways I could give love and life to others, be it through volunteering, fostering, or even donating a kidney to a needy young person.
I'm not sure how I'll feel after a few more rounds of treatment. Adoption may be in the cards, if my husband has a change of heart. If not, I'll make my peace and dedicate myself to other important pursuits.
Very good questions and great post!
- March 11, 2008 at 9:56 AM
- Alice said...
I was the one who was having reservations about adopting - but mainly because I felt like a failure and that if my husband had been with someone else he would be able to have a bio child. It was absolutely not important to him - he wants a child. I mourned the idea of having a bio child but eventually got over it. Someone made a good point to me: you aren't biologically related to your spouse and you love them, right? And then I realized, HEY WAIT A MINUTE - guaranteed child! And it became an awesome idea. Anyway, I respect your husband's feelings - but sometimes with time, one may look at things differently (but you are right - the process itself is pretty daunting).
- March 12, 2008 at 7:12 AM
- loribeth said...
Sharah's post (link in Pamela Jeanne's comment) also speaks to a lot of my own reasons for not adopting. I might add that, when my dh & I decided we were done with treatment, we were 40 & 44 years old. We knew that you don't just decide to adopt & voila! baby!! & that our ages might be a barrier in certain jurisdictions (I also wondered about how likely a teenaged mother would be to pick people as old if not older than her own parents to parent her baby.) We knew adoption would mean stepping off one roller coaster & onto another, & who knew how long the ride would take? We decided that, at our ages, we were done riding rollercoasters -- we wanted off. Had I been 35 instead of 40, I might have felt differently.
- March 12, 2008 at 11:35 AM
- JCK said...
I have kind of an unusual story in that we went through years of IF treatments, finally culminating in 3 fresh IVF cycles & 2 frozen, none of which resulted in a pregnancy. We then took a break. My husband was not ready immediately to talk about adoption. We had been through so much emotionally, we had to just take some time. 6 months later we went to an adoption seminar and 6 months after that decided to adopt. We were very lucky. We chose U.S. adoption through an agency and matched with a birthmother after 4 months. We were there for the birth of our son and immediately bonded. The depth of love that we felt truly astounded us, as is true for most parents after the birth of their children..especially after a long journey. Then 2 months later I found out I was pregnant, at 42! Our daughter was born that year and our children are 10 months apart. Our worry was could we love another child as much as our son!
I share all of this only to say that one never knows the depth of one's heart and you will surprise yourself. Let alone what your own personal journey bears. Love is so powerful. And just grows larger.
And the most insensitive thing said to me...while I was pregnant with my daughter and my son was a few months old: "Did you think about giving him back?" And the woman was serious...
- March 12, 2008 at 12:46 PM