text:
As a result of last Friday's Primary election, contenders were narrowed down to two
official candidates for presidential and vice-presidential posts. Tom Mesaros (L) and Bruce
Otto will vie for student association president.
Vol. XLIII—No. 23
Bethel College, St. Paul, Minn. Thursday, March 27, 1969
WBCS pleads for $$'s
Student senate shuffles stipends
Royal Bloom, psychology professor and director of testing,
plans to end his career at Bethel after 22 years of loyal service
to many Bethel "Royal" fans.
Students select 1969-70
government leaders
Faculty adopts interim progam,
probes tt requirement' necessity
Discussion of whether students plan on 300 or 1,000 students.
should be required to participate In a secret ballot vote the facul-in
the new interim session next ty formally adopted the S-I-S cal-
January occupied the main atten- endar "as an experiment in teach-tion
of Bethel faculty members at ing, learning and programming for
last week's faculty meeting. the coming year."
It was pointed out that students Included in the proposal, as sug-would
not be penalized if they gested by the administration and
preferred to work or justrelax members of the Educational Poli-during
the session. However, since, cies Coinmittee and the Curricu-the
three-week interim scheduled lum Committee, was the calendar
for Jan. 7128 will actually add only which was printed in last week's
one week to the present schedule Clarion.
(and no additional fee has been The members of the Education-announced
as yet), students would al Policies Committee and the Cur-be
paying for the program regard- riculum Committee were in agree-less
of whether they participate, ment that up to three credits
officials said. should be granted for work done
Dean Virgil Olson explained that during the Interim. The assign-the
thinking in requiring (or ex- ment of grading has not been
petting) all students to take part resolved as yet.
is so that the experiment would According to the outline pre-be
more conclusive. Gerald Healy sented to the faculty, "All stu-noted
that it would be difficult dents will be expected to partici-to
initiate programs for the ses- pate in the Interim. There will be
sion without knowing whether to cont'd on page 5
supplied by student fees, and the
physical facilities.
Student leadership stipends, as
determined during the meeting,
for 1969-70 are: student Associa-tion
president, $1,000; vice presi-dent,
$250; secretary, $250; treas-urer,
$250; Clarion editor, $1,000;
Spire editor, $850; WBCS manager,
$400; and Coeval editor, $250.
Although the senate did not
act on other activity expenses,
cont'd on page 4
by Pat Faxon
Royal Bloom's announcement of
his plans for retirement in tues-day's
chapel came as quite a sur-prise
to much of the Bethel com-munity.
Mr. Bloom who is presently serv-ing
Bethel in the capacity of pro-fessor
of psychology and director
of testing, also holds the honor of
having the longest tenure among
the faculty members, having been
at Bethel 22 years. (Besides this
formal position, he is also known
as the school's best candy maker.)
He came to Bethel in 1947, when
the college expanded from a junior
college to a four-year institution,
to serve as chairman of the edu-cation
and psychology department.
He remained head of that joint
department until 1962. and gradu-ally
assumed the position of Direc-tor
of Testing while still remaining
a professor in the psychology de-partment.
Bloom received his bae- elors and
masters degree at the University
of Minnesota. Before coming to
Bethel he was principal of an ,ele-mentary
school, taught at Eveleth
Junior College for five years and
spent six years at the University
of Minnesota as a statistician.
After serving in the U.S. Navy
for three and one-half years and
retiring as a commander, he taught
briefly at Iowa State University
and spent a year in the nation's
capital as a civilian in a Navy
Testing Program.
In 1950 he became a certified
psychologist in the state of Minne-sota.
He taught two years of sum-by
Marjorie Rusche
Students will choose their new
student government leaders today
and tomorrow. In an effort to fur-ther
acquaint Bethelites with the
candidates, the Clarion presents:
Tom Mesaros, junior, is a double
political science history major. Tom
has served as vice-president of
his freshman class, president of
his sophomore class, this year was
vice-chairman of Homecoming,
senator-at-large, and was on the
Student Personnel Committee.
He has been active in Intra-murals
for three years, an infielder
on the baseball team for three
years, and a member of the cross-country
team this year.
Tom feels he is qualified to be
President through his experience
in student government, training in
government in his political science
courses, his desire to give broad
representation to students, and
negotiate with the administration.
Tom would push for student fi-nancial
autonomy, more student ac-tion
on new campus plans, student
representation on more adminis-tration
committees, steramlining
and centralization of power in the
Senate, a continued revision of dis-ciplinary
procedures through the
disciplinary committee, keeping the
coffe shop and library open dur-ing
chapel, and more consistency
in school policy.
Bruce Otto, junior, is a chemistry
major. He served in the Senate
second semester of his freshman
year, was junior class vice-presi-dent,
and was on the Welcome
Week committee last fall.
Bruce has played in band all
three years and will be a student
mer school at Macalester and for
the past six summers has taught
at the University of Indiana where
he plans to return for at least
one more summer.
Mr. Bloom is a member of Phi
Delta Kappa, National Honorary
Society in Education, and Psi Chi,
National Honorary Socity in Psy-chology.
He is listed in Who's Who
in the Midwest and Who's Who in
American Education and has writ-ten
a chapter in Personnel Re-search
and Test Development in
the Bureau of Navy Personnel
published by the Princeton Uni-versity
missionary this summer in British
Columbia, Canada.
For next year Bruce envisions
more student involvement in cam-pus
life through student represen-tation
on faculty and administra-tion
committees, revision of chapel
services though the religious and
chapel committees and any other
means necessary, a strong student
voice on new campus planning,
a n d liberalization of women's
Bruce supports the present dis-ciplinary
structures of the school,
does not want to see student finan-cial
autonomy in the near future,
and thinks it is a good idea to keep
Cie coffee shop and library closed
during chapel.
Dave Shupe, junior anthropology
major, is being supported as a
write-in candidate by an ad-hoc
committee of students concerned
over the results of the primary
Dennis Olsen, spokesman for the
group, stated, "The ad hoc commit-tee
felt a person was needed with
behind-the-scenes influence, good
relations with the administration, a
great deal of tact, and the intellect-ual
ability to deal effectively with
the administration. Dave has prov-ed
his abilities through the good
job he did as student body vice-president
this year. He is an ex-cellent
candidate to do the behind-the-
scenes hard work that is so
necessary for the job of student
body president.
Rich Berggren, sophomore, is a
speech major. He has served as
vice-president of the Freshman
cont'd on page 4
The highlight of his career, said
Mr. Bloom, was when Bethel was
accredited by the North Central
Association. When asked to com-ment
about the changes at Bethel
in the past 22 years, he stated that
the two that stood out in his mind,
among others, were the discontinu-ation
of Saturday morning classes
and the relaxation of the regula-tions.
Mr. Bloom and his wife have no
definite retirement plans as yet.
They would like to travel, but
other than that, Bloom plans to
keep busy gardening on their lot
and maybe making caramels once
in awhile — we hope!
Dragging a burned out piece of
radio equipment behind him,
Mark Kingsbeck, WBCS general
manager, went to the student sen-ate
meeting last week to plead
for additional funds from the sen-ate's
That was one of the most color-ful
events of the about an hour-long
meeting as senate members
began shuffling budget figures in
line with the recently announced
1969-70 budget appropriation of
$25,000 (trimmed from the $31,600
In addition to budget considera-tions,
the senate named Leonard
Sammons "senator emeritus,"
granted Dave Shupe, vice presi-dent,
permission to get married,
and heard a preliminary report
from the North Central review
The senate unanimously ap-proved
a motion, submitted by
Gary Mueller, Thomas Ford and
Martha Tatter, which stated: "Be
it moved that the honor of sen-ator
emeritus be bestowed upon
Leonard Ray Sammons."
Mueller explained that Sammons
was completing three years of
perfect attendance at senate meet-ings
in which he had "contributed
much and detracted much, made
many friends and made many en-emies."
Janet Hurt submitted a motion
that the senate authorize its vice
president to take a wife, and that
the authorization will become void
after June 1, 1969, if not acted
upon by said date. The motion
passed with Senators Ford and
Carlson casting the only no votes.
Greg Taylor, president, gave the
senate a report of the preliminary
findings of the examiners from
the North Central Association of
Colleges and Secondary Schools.
Strongs points of the college, ob-served
by the reviewers, included
dedication of the faculty, integra-tion
of academics, utility of the
faculty meetings, the existence of a
faculty personnel committee, effi-ciency
of the library, student in-volvement
in faculty committees
and financial accounting system.
Bethel's weak points, according
to the report, are the ambiguity
of the seminary-college relation-ship,
the need of a counselling
service, the procedures of selecting
deans, a high percentage of part-time
teachers, college division on
department basis rather than di-vision
lines, the homogeneity of
the student body, salary structure
for the faculty, the high percentage
of the operational budget being
Veteran professor plans retirement
Bloom terminates career at Bethel
BY etIRI
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The University commission is-sued
its report on March 12. The
report stated that damage was,
under the circumstances, "surpris-ingly
moderate," and that after
two months of investigation the
commission could not determine
which students, if any, caused the
There is no doubt that the Grand
Jury had the right to issue the
indictment. There is no doubt that
the courts can legally punish the
offenders, if there is a case against
any one of the demonstrators. But
there is also no doubt that the
Grand Jury made a serious blund-er
in taking that action, and that
the court will make another blund-er
if it does not drop those charges.
The incident was a University
affair; its solution by the Univer-sity
without outside help represent-ed
a significant step in the solu-tion
of problems which give rise
to the incident. The action of the
Grand Jury could be a dangerous
precedent of "police" interference
in University procedures.
This is especially true since the
University never requested police
action. The Grand Jury did not
wait for the University Commission
to issue its report, which made it
clear that any action against one
or a few of the demonstrators
would be ill-advised and impracti-cal.
The indictment charged incite-ment
to riot when there were no
riots, property damage when that
damage was repaid, and unlawful
entry when the indicted persons
were never informed of the un-lawfulness
of their actions. The
indictment was, to put it bluntly,
There will be a march on the
courthouse from the mall in front
of the Coffman Union on the
morning of Thursday, April 3, the
day of the arraignment. The
marchers will demand that the
charges be dropped. They will not
be marching to support the black
student's actions or their demands.
It is a worthy cause, and an im-portant
one, especially, perhaps,
for us at a college like Bethel,
which has always been against
state interference in the educa-tional
process. C.M.
Due to a lack of funds, a lack
of time, and the probable lack
of a reading public by Thursday
of next week, this will be the
last CLARION before Easter.
the CLARION
Published weekly during the academic
year except during vacation and exami-nation
periods, by the students of Bethel
college, St. Paul, Minn. 55101. Sub-scription
rate $4 per year.
Editor-in-chief Margie Whaley
Associate Editor Chuck Myrbo
News Editor Marjorie Rusche
Feature Editor Faith Zwemke
Layout Editor Sue Bonstrom
Sports Editor Wally Borner
Business Manager Bill Goodwin
Circulation Manager Pat Faxon
Proof Readers Karen Rodberg
Mary Jo Healy
Photographer Ray Smith
Advisor Jon Fagerson
Opinions expressed in the CLARION do not
necessarily reflect the position of the college
or seminary.
Page 2
the CLARION Thursday, March 27, 1969
Bethel, to fulfill goals, Students plan indictment protest march
must 'redefine the ideal'
As students at a Christian college, we are in a strange
position. We are on both ends of the generation gap. Our
Christian values are with one of the most conservative of re-ligious
groups, and our social values are with one of the most
rebellious of generations. To the members of both groups, we
must seem like a contradiction in terms.
We grew up in fundamental churches. But for many of the
members of those churches, Christianity has come to be tied
to a set of social values which have nothing at all to do with
Christianity. Christianity implies capitalism, Christianity im-plies
Americanism, Christianity implies not smoking, implies
beardlessness and crewcuts, and not playing cards and not
going to movies, and much more.
Those people look at the young person who has rejected
one or more of those social values and identify him as somehow
"unChristian." So we have a church with a gospel that we want
and a code that we don't want.
On the other hand, we have the kids we grew up with,
who at the same time can hold unbounded hope for the future
and no hope at all. It is a generation of idealism, rebelling
against prejudice, with a great concern for helping other peo-ple.
They, too, have seen the church, the fundamental church,
our church, and they have seen how closely it has been tied
to that very set of values that they are rebelling against.
And they have rejected it; rejected it so strongly that they
seek to destroy it with the rest of the "system." So we have
our generation, with an openness and an idealism that we
want and a rejection of Christianity that we don't want.
"You can't be Christians and do those things and dress
that way. You are radicals."
"You can't be a real person and cater to the establishment
like that. God is irrelevant and you are reactionaries."
Radicals . . . reactionaries. It's tough being both at the
same time And so we come to Bethel, looking for a way to
become "turned-on" Christians. But Bethel frustrates us, be-cause
we can tell as soon as we get on campus what we are
"expected" to be, and we do not want to be that.
Those expectations are not written out; there is no bureau
for imposing them and no police force for enforcing them.
But they are very evident. It is that image that someone from
Hamline sees as the "typical Bethel student." It is that typical
student that few of us think we are and few of us want to be.
But you do not play your stereo loud enough to offend
that student. You do not write Clarion articles which would
displease that student. You do not grow a beard; that student
does not do that. You do not play cards; that student might
stumble. These things are small — like bees, and like bees
they are irritating.
That student, because the rules are made with him in
mind, becomes identified as the ideal, an ideal which is defined
in any different ways. But that ideal is not practical, and it is
not desirable — and it does not fit the actual norm. Because
we are not that student, we feel less at home here.
If Bethel is to become an exciting place to live and to
learn, that ideal must be redefined to allow more variation.
Redefining the ideal can mean a lot of things. It means movies
on campus; it means allowing cards in the dorms; it means re-laxing
women's hours.
• But more than anything else it means a continuing dialogue
between the administration and the students, a dialogue which
can best be carried on by the Senate and the Association Presi-
support march
To the editor:
While we acknowledge the legal
right of the Hennepin County at-torney
and the Grand Jury to
act as they have in the University
of Minnesota Morrill Hall incident,
we regret the indictment of the
three students (Rosemary Freeman,
Horace Huntley and Warren Tuck-er)
and the issuance of a "John
Doe" warrant for arrest.
We believe the action of the
Grand Jury and the County At-torney
is destructive toward reso-lution
of the University's internal
problems. It is also an affront to
the University's own investigative
procedures since the Grand Jury
Last spring the Afro-American Action Committee (AAAC) presented
a list of demands to the University of Minnesota administration. Included
in the demands were provisions for scholarships for black students and
the formation of a program of black studies.
In January, nine months later, the AAAC felt that the U of M was
not acting quickly enough on the agreements that had been reached.
AAAC members again met with administrators.
After the discussion, the black students claimed that U of M
president Malcom Moos was unresponsive, and occupied the office of
bursar, admissions, and records in Morrill Hall. They began the sit-in
on the afternoon of January fourteenth.
That evening they were joined by several hundred supporters.
Other students began gathering outside. The demonstrators moved office
furniture in front of the doors, apparently to prevent violent contact
between the two opposing groups of students.
By 1:00 p.m. the next day the AAAC was satisfied that the Uni-versity
would uphold its agreements — and the sit-in ended. Damage
to Morrill Hall was eventually estimated at $6,000. Moos emphasized that
the basic records were intact.
About a week after the sit-in, a University commission was estab-lished
to investigate the incident. State legislators seemed to be satis-fied
that the University was on top of the situation, and the Board of
Regents backed Moos' handling of the takeover.
Then, on March third, the Hennepin County Grand Jury returned
an indictment against "Horace Huntley, Rose Mary Freeman, Warren
Tucker, Jr., Richard Roe and Jane Doe," for damage to property, inciting
to riot, and unlawful assembly. The charges are punishable with six-year
prison terms.
Do lightsocks show shallowness?
(Editor's note: In the Clarion's the dictum 'Don't trust anyone over
mail bag this week was an en- 30'). I guess the moral of that story
a conference missionary, along
with a full-page advertisement
velope from Costa Rica with the
following letter from Dana Larson,
live our four full terms we could
is that we just need to keep our
old socks a bit longer and if we can
with 16 pairs of men's socks in come back in real style.
full "matchable colors.") One could judge from all this
To the Editor: that young people (including even
some students) also have their fick-
The accompanying ad appeared le moments. This could be repre-in
the Miami Herald (which we get sented by those who seem to have
here in San Jose) and it brought little more to worry about than
back some recollections of deputa- whether or not socks match shirts
tion a year or so ago. I write this low—edo mr weahseutrheemr esnkitr otsv mera tthceh kthnee easl.-
as a sort of critique of the thought This is all to comply with the dic-processes
of even "idealistic stu- tates of fashion setters rather than
dents." of a personal sense of decency.
At one of the informal discus- It so happens that some people
sions of Missions' Week at Bethel in the world (even some over 30)
a year ago when I happened to be are disturbed by issues that have
there, a young lady made a com- a more basic relation to the wor-ment
to the effect that she was ld's needs and one has to make
`glad the missionaries (men) did choices, unfortunately. A lot of us
not come with light socks'—which are just simply not worried if Ger-was
apparently her fearful expect- stein (or the proteges of pagan
ation. Dior) are making a million on a
Now I see by this ad (only a new shade of sock—and they can
year later) that socks are supposed only do it because "the blind will
to match shirts (usually light) like follow the blind."
they did when I was a student 25
Dana Larson
years ago. (In spite of this we hear Costa Rica
failed to await the report of the
University Investigating Commit-tee.
The action is politically suspect
too considering the source of the
complaint which led to the Grand
Jury action, the specific naming of
only the leadership of the Afro-
American Action Committee, and
the John Doe nature of the war-rant
which leaves others subject
to arrest.
On this basis we support the
Liberation Coalition and its pur-pose
of having the charges against
the students dropped.
Gregory A. Taylor,
Bruce Otto,
Thomas W. Mesaros
David A. Shupe,
Richard Berggren,
Maurice Zaffke
Student views new campus "academic area plan"
(Editor's note: Recent presentations concerninc
construction and plans for the new campus have
prompted some student discussion of physical housing
arranaernents. The following is one student's reaction
to a suggested "academic area" cluster setup.)
by Kay Bowman
What will Bethel College be like two years from
now? The Arden Hills Campus might present a vastly
different picture from what we have today.
Included in the cluster concept of the new cam-pus
and its living-learning principle is the idea that
one learns through all facets of life—where he lives
and plays, as well as in the classroom.
Bet!-:el has not yet decided which of several pos-sible
approaches will be adopted for its four proposed
dormitory-clusters. The clusters could be divided (1)
mainly by classes: (2) according to choice or random
assingment; or (3) by academic areas (these would
probably include humanities, natural scieinces, social
sciences, and professional groups.)
The later arrangement, which has been the most
discussed, brings several questions to mind for many
According to this year's catalog, "the foremost aim
of the program in the liberal arts at Bethel College is
to help each person realize his unique and sacred
potentialities and to make his own best contribution
to society . . ."
Can this best be achieved by surrounding a
person with students in common courses and majors
or by letting him be involved with students of vari-ous
interests? It is really necessary to divide our-selves
into academic groups in order to learn from
living experiences? Since Bethel is a liberal arts
college, would living and interacting constantly with
people of similiar majors be in keeping with the goals
of a liberal education?
The academic-area arrangement may actually
limit students. College officials have said the cluster
concept "forces people to think and work together."
On the contrary, the academic-area arrangement seems
to imply only forcing students of similar fields to in-teract
with one another. Does this mean a person who
majors in one field has nothing in common or can
gain nothing from roommates of another major?
It may create greater competition. One basic con-cept
of the cluster college has been stated: "Education
is more than course structure. It is also extracur-ricular
activities . . ." One study of a cluster college
in California has shown (1) competition became very
intense; (2) students became more academically ori-ented
than interested in extra-curricular activities;
and (3) students developed a tremendous sense of
pride. Is Bethel's goal to create more intellectual
and less social growth, more individual competition
and extreme pressure?
There would be unequal distribution of students,
or else difficulties in construction arrangements.
If students were divided in clusters according to their
majors, there would be unequal numbers of men and
women—such as natural sciences where there would
be more men and professional (elementary education,
social work, etc.) where there would be far more wo-men.
Since the number of majors fluctuates each year,
would building clusters with adequate facilities and
allowing for some vacant rooms be too costly for
It would force an early choice of majors. Fresh-men
would need to know their major in order to be
placed in the right cluster. If he were unsure, the ar-rangement
would hamper opportunities to interact
with a variety of people in different fields.
It assumes Bethel is too large an instittglon to
be "personal." The cluster concept emphasizes the
"person over the institution." It attempts to create a
presonal atmosphere among students. Would the
growth of an individual be stunted by dividing such
a small student body into four distinct areas?
Thursday, March 27, 1969
the CLARION
Page 3
Students of model of Bethel's
new Arden Hills campus, which was recently on display in the
seminary building.
view one section the scale
rkhci7,1 Aotie,reo. Constructive "student power" grows
PefrAfidgA4 Students attend board sessions
by Chuck Myrbo
After the Pepperland column of March 6 (about hitch-hiking
to church), I got this anonymous letter in my P.O.:
Dear Mr. Pepper,
Do I read you right ? You are trying to im-press
the public with the fact that you are a
church-goer, and therefore all good Clarion
readers should follow your good example:
1—Spend your last penny on doughnuts; the
preacher who spent hours studying Gal.
6 is not worthy of one's measly left-over
19 cents. Fill one's own belly first.
2—The waitress who doesn't go to church could
not possibly be interested in God, there-fore,
don't invite her to church. Don't
leave a tip for her, either; she doesn't go
to church on Sunday morning.
3—Instead of jogging to church or calling
someone who has a car with gas, scrounge
off a naughty man who doesn't go to
church on Sunday, but wears work-clothes
and smokes sinful cigarettes.
4—James Baldwin's quote from The Fire Next
Time: "If the concept of God has any
validity or use, it can only be to make
us larger, freer, and more loving . . ."
applies only to Bethany church members.
Bethel students like us can forget it.
We are above such nonsensical concepts.
5—Sunday church-going is to criticize others.
It is not really meant to stimulate a
meaningful God experience for one's self.
J.C. really meant we should be pepper, not
salt in this needy world.
Thanks for the tips on Bethel ethics. Now
I know how to act next Sunday.
Your classmate
P.S. I'm curious about one thing. Did you try
the Blessitt blast on the Rose Bowl kid and the
no-church-go man ?
Dear "classmate,"
The answers to your questions are "No." and "No." Now,
on to your accusations:
(1) Touche! Score one for you.
(2) Mister Donut forbids tipping.
(3) I like to hitchhike.
(4) Huh? What are you trying to say?
(5) Sunday church-going is to stimulate a meaningful
God experience. This column provides the oppor-tunity
to pepper.
That puts the score at three for me, one for you, and one
doubtful. You lose.
You're welcome.
by Greg Taylor
Student Association President
On Friday last past, Margie
Whaley, Clarion editor, and I at-tended
the Board of Education
sessions at their quarterly meeting.
"The Board of Education shall
maintain and supervise the work
of Bethel College and Seminary."
Through this body President Lund-quist
is responsible to the Confer-ence.
Though student representatives
were recalled to have been present
in the misty past, our presence
was without immediate precedent
and perhaps signified a further-ance
of "student power."
Probably three topics of discus-sion
on Friday (formal voting by
the 15-man 'board follows the next
day of the meetings) raised mat-ters
of vital concern to students of
the college.
The problem of maintaining aca-demic
freedom while soliciting
funds for the new campus from
foundations became apparent. The
superficial question of using liquor
industry profits for this purpose
seemed often to cloud the more
serious threat to academic free-dom
Next, ten prospective faculty
members (including two for the
social sciences department!) were
announced for acceptance by vote
of the Board.
In the evening session the buck
passed to Burton Wessman who
presented the sad projections for
next year's financing of the Col-lege.
Again, despite the criticism
of the North Central examiners,
students through increased enroll-ment
and tuition will carry about
90% of the cost of operating the
Although Mr. Wessman is doing
a fantastic job, he is limited to
this option for raising revenue,
and we all shared a sense of guilt
for eating-up so many jelly-beans
during the sessions — if not the
need for ways to lower this percen-tage.
The business acumen of our
Board members was continually
impressive, except for the minor
problem of charging students too
much. For being elected by the
Conference, they are men of ex-ceptional
ability. Missing on the
other hand was the presence of
professional educators in their
ranks, and this is the area they
seemed weak in.
Maybe at this point the beauty
and logic of "student power" can
be more fullly appreciated. At ev-ery
opportunity between sessions,
and occasionally during, the mem-bers
sought our views on every
imaginable topic and expressed
their pleasure with our presence.
The men were as open and re-ceptive
to our thoughts as they
were to share the burdens of de-cision
What can be more appropriate
than consulting those for whom the
decisions are made? And so we
look forward to Student Association
representation at future Board
meetings on a formal basis!
A report of the official actions
of Saturday's board of education
session includes the following:
by Pastor Maurice Lawson
Next week is Holy Week. If we
give time to meditation on the
sacrifice of Christ in our private
devotions and enter into the cam-pus
worship with serious purpose,
it can become a holy week for each
of us.
This is the program: Monday,
"Jesus the King," meditation by
Walter Wessell; Tuesday, "Jesus
the Prophet," meditation by Alfred
Glenn; Wednesday, "Jesus the
Passover Lamb," meditation b y
Arthur Lewis, and Thursday, "Je-
—approval of plans for a $75,-
000, (4,240-square-feet) commons
building to be connected to the
first college dormitory as soon as
funds are in sight. Officials indi-cated
it is still hoped to begin
construction this summer and that
a four to five month period will
be allowed for completion of the
—Decision to begin a second
facet of fund raising for relocation
of the college. McFadzean and
Associates of Minneapolis will be
hired to head up the campaign,
with a goal of $2,170,000.
—Acceptance of the working
drawings for the college building
program, with a target date for
occupancy remaining 1971.
— Approval of a recommendation
that the seminary begin an ad-vanced
masters degree program
next fall.
—Adoption of a name change
for the board, to the Bethel Board
of Regents.
— Acceptance of a proposed
1969-70 budget totaling $3,279,723.
Student fees in the new budget
account for $1,614,257 of the an-ticipated
—Approval of plans and "imme-diate
construction" of seminary
chapel and social building for a
total cost of $534,478.
sus the Saviour," meditation by
Stanley Anderson. The services will
be deeply devotional in nature;
it is requested that we come in
quietly and engage in prayer pre-ceding
the opening.
The Lord's Supper will be com-memorated
by the Bethel communi-ty
on Wednesday evening at 7 and
8:30 p.m. in Seminary Hall chapel.
The week after Easter will begin
with the choir from Grand Rapids
Bible College, and end with a con-cert
by Calvin Marsh, Christian
opera singer.
Mrs. Paul Christian holds one of about 25 flutes in their
collection as Dr. Christian (above) examines a waldzither —
one of the latest acquisitions in the "musical menagerie" in
the Christians' home.
When in the course of Bethel events
RA's turn political?
Pat Sandberg (R), one of Hagstrom's RA's, tries to squeeze in a little studying as she as-sumes
"desk duty" twice a week. John Cowan, a Edgren RA takes a few minutes to visit
with one of this semester's new students.
Page 4 the CLARION
by Dave Greener
"A damsel with a dulcimer—
In a vision once I saw:—It was an
Abyssinian maid,—And on her dul-cimer
she played,��Singing of
Mount Abora." So wrote the poet
Samuel Taylor Coleridge in "Kuk-la
A visitor to the home of Dr.
and Mrs. Paul Christian, however,
can view not only a dulcimer, but
may see many other musical in-struments
as well. While t h e y
don't have an "Abyssinian maid,"
Christians do have American zith-ers,
mandolins, concertinas, banjos,
guitars, and flutes.
That such a collection exists may
come as a surprise to many Bethel
students. Christians' doctorate,
after all, is in biology. It might be
easier to picture him as a collector
of zoological specimens (he has
these as well) — he is in fact a
recognized expert on the leaf-hop-per.
But Dr. Christian was a music
major, specializing in voice, when
he attended Moody Bible Institute.
And Mrs. Christian earned a bach-elor
of music degree at Wheaton:
She is currently one of Bethel's
organ instructors.
Within just six years (three of
serious collecting), they have ga-thered
an impressive and varied
collection of musical instruments,
both the ordinary and especially
the unusual.
A harp in the entrance hallway
may be the first instrument spotted
by a visitor to the Christian's
house, but the bulk of the col-lection
is located in the adjacent
living room. Here, among such fa-miliar
items as a piano and an or-gan,
and as much a part of the
decor as the fireplace and the
tapestry, are original props of part
of the pageant of music history.
Zithers may be observed fasten-ed
to living room and hallway
According to Mrs. Christian, the
"poor man's piano" was an in-strument
used in many places but
its American modifications were
first patented in 1894. The zither
looks something like a squared
guitar and was sold, comparative-ly
inexpensively, from door-to-door
as well as in mail order catalogs.
It was not difficult to play (music
was played by numbers), but it
easily became out of tune and, as
Mrs. Christian said, "It took a mu-sician
to tune one."
Interest in this instrument is re-vealed
by the Christian's possession
of "ninety-five or ninety-seven" of
Thursday, March 27, 1969
them and by their hopes to some-time
do research on the American
zither. (As far as they know, no
one has previously done so.)
Another obsolete instrument in
their collection is the concertina.
In many ways these "squeeze box-es"
resemble accordians, though
they are smaller and• simpler in
construction. Their sound is creat-ed
by air in a way similar to a
harmonica. Once emitted, t h e
sound resembles that of a har-monica
as well.
The mandolin is another instru-ment
owned by the Christians that
is in the no-longer-in-use category.
Mandolins are stringed instruments
and come in different shapes. They
somewhat resemble a bowled gui-tar
and their nicknames — "potato
bugs" — make them appropriate
items for the Christians' collection.
The Christians also, of course,
have a dulcimer. "It was a prede-cessor
of the piano;" Mrs. Christian
explained, "and is a hammered
instrument." The Christians also
have a reproduction of an Appa-lachian
dulcimer, an offspring that
is played by plucking.
A more familiar instrument in
the Christians' collection is the
flute. The Christians' collection of
flutes traces the modern flute's
development. Their flutes come
from Bach's time: 1700's, the first
transverse flute, a one-keyed in-strument;
to the recorder of the
turn of the 18th century; the four-keyed
flute of Hadyn and Mo-zart;
the eight-keyed flute of Beet-hoven;
to the twelve-keyed flute
Student leaders...
class, and president of his sopho-more
class. Rich has also been a
member of the varsity track team
for two years.
He would like to reduce the
alienation between student and stu-dent
leaders, and feels this could
be done having the vice-president
serve as a public-relations man for
student government.
Rich has no specific programs he
would like to see inaguarated for
next year. However, he intends to
push for promising programs as
they may arise next year. _
Maurice Zaffke, junior, is un-decided
about his major. Maurice
is a relative new-comer to Bethel,
having previously attended Oak
Hills Bible Institute, Wheaton Col-lege,
and Macalester:
Maurice is presently politically
after 1860, and the Boehem flute.
The Christians also , have such
strange and/or unusual instru-ments
as: a harp on a zither-action
body (which they can not more
specifically identify); a symphony
harp guitar; a piano harp (which
was played by plucking); repro-ductions
of a Renaissance-type
horn and an early French horn,
as well as a couple of real bu-gles
— one perhaps from the Am-erican
Revolution; and even a set
of bagpipes.
How do the Christians come up-on
such instruments? How have
they compiled their menagerie of
As Mrs. Christian relates, "We
buy the instruments, then find out
what they are. We can usually re-cognize
an obsolete instrument, but
we may wait until we're home to
identify it. Experience has helped
Second hand stores, antique
shops, and even junk stores have
been the source of most of the col-lection.
Twice a month, four hours
at a time — during the school
year — and certain half-days dur-ing
the summer the Christians take
time to attempt to augment their
But acquisition is only one step;
often Dr. Christian must recondi-tion
the instruments as well. And
that is not all: to maintain them
in such a state, further repair
may sometimes be necessary. Such
care makes it seem that the musi-cal
museum almost takes a bio-logical
from page 1
active on a local level as a Libera-tion
Coalition steering committee
member. At Bethel Maurice is serv-ing
on the Curriculum Committee.
He was on the U.S. National Stu-dent
Association national staff to
assist small religiously affiliated
liberal arts colleges in planning ac-tivities.
Maurice would like to see re-vision
o f present curriculum
through the curriculum committee,
a stronger student voice in new
campus affairs, review of the col-lege's
financial activities, reform
of Senate structure and financing,
reform in disciplinary procedures,
and tightening up of lines of par-ticipation
of representation from
the student body to the student
governing agencies.
by Joy Whaley
In these days when students are
concerned with various leadership
capacities for next year, one posi-tion
which receives less public
attention is that of the resident
In the near future applicants for
this job will be evaluated and about
twenty students will be chosen
to act as dormitory leaders for
If the R.A.'s were to present a
platform, it would likely take the
form of the following:
1. I promise to have unlimited
endurance with all the "frivolous"
frosh, even if it means being dump-ed
in a wastebasket full of water
and carried to another dorm.
2. I promise to put my job be-fore
any of my other interests
(girl/boyfriends and studying).
3. I promise never to get angry
when my room is sacked, flooded,
or invaded.
4. I promise to serve as referee
in any room where there is a hor-rendous
clash of personalities, with
books flying or tears flowing.
5. I will attempt to set a good
example in my actions and spirit-ual
6. I promise to hold to an
"open-door" policy for my room
—to sit and listen and listen and
listen . . .
7. I will strive to give friendly
advice to all those who need it
(regardless of race, color, or creed),
never nagging or betraying con-fidences.
8. I will seek for the wisdom and
justice of Solomon, and the con-sistency
and patience of Job.
9. I promise to remember what
I went through my freshman year,
adjusting to college and dormi-tory
life, and try to direct others
with that in mind.
10. I strongly advocate unity,
openness, friendliness, spiritual
growth among the students on my
These jobs, for which applica-tions
are now available, must be
filled by juniors or seniors or by
seminary students. Those selected,
according to Donald Rainbow, will
be persons who can relate well
and efficiently to others. They
should be respected by acquaint-ances
in all areas of their life —
spiritually, academically, and so-cially.
Senate • . •
from page 1
they heard a request from Kings-beck
for $1,500 ($1,000 was alloted
in the proposed budget) for WBCS.
Kingsbeck offered the following
reasons for the increased budget
request: of dequipment is actually
obsolete, but the station must con-tinue
to repair and try to use it;
there is a real need for expansion
of the station's record library;
and it is time to start preparing
for expansion for operation at the
new campus.
Christians' strike a new note
Biologist's home is musical museum
Dawnell Kramer (L) receives a $50 check from Robert
Bergerud, Bethel Bookstore manager. She was recently named
as winner of the scholarship, provided by profits, of the book-store's
"Campus Pak" sale last fall. The Student Personnel Com-mittee
made the final choice from the 10 students most often
nominated by "Campus Pak" purchases.
Students meet with Deans
to discuss manor hours
9:25 A.M. and 6:40 P.M.
NOTICE! Bus now available for students wishing to attend Church
Worship — Bus leaves Bodien at 10:30 A.M.
J. Leonard Carroll, Pastor
Garnet's Standard Service
Larpenteur and Snelling
St. Paul
vaa atea4
Ask your eye doctor.
If he says you can,
Elwood Carlson
will fit your lenses
with the extra care
and expert attention
your eyes deserve.
4th St. Lobby — Lowry Med. Arts
CA 4 - 5212 — St. Paul
719 Nicollet Ave.
FE 2 - 5681 — Mpls.
Call us for further details
Lots of People are
Bruce Larson
Dare To Live Now
Paper 60c Cloth $2.95
Living On The Growing
His Latest
Setting Men Free
All Zondervan Publications
Bethel &alp-4144e
Write In 2,acie 540e
(Coalition of Concerned Students)
(Editor's Note: This article is the
first in a series planned to intro-duce
the 12 students who have
been selected to participate in this
summer's "student Missionary pro-gram.")
by Karen Nelson
Tears of joy burst forth when
Gayle McCandless learned she had
been selected as one of Bethel's
student missionaries and would be
traveling to Japan this summer.
Gayle, who comes to Bethel from
San Diego, Calif., said she previous-ly
had done little thinking about
"foreign" missions as such, but
rather telling people about Christ
wherever she was.
In high school her two main
activities were the editorship of
the yearbook and work with the
YFC Campus Life groups. She
also participated in a Caravan pro-gram,
which consisted of a group
of students taking a week or two
to go into a community in Ari-zona
or New Mexico to work with
the people and present Christ.
As a sophomore at Bethel, Gayle
is the editor of the Spire and chap-lain
of Bodien Dormitory. Even
with this busy schedule, she finds
time to go to Sorini's Pizza at
least once or twice a week to wit-ness
about Christ.
Her college major is a little
indefinite at the moment, but
Gayle is thinking about a double
major in psychology and Christian
education. She has considered
Hopkins, Parent
present recital
Calvin Parent and John Hopkins,
music education majors, will pre-sent
their joint recital at 8 p.m.
Saturday in Seminary Hall.
Parent, trombonist, will be ac-companied
by Karen Hale, a 1968
graduate of Bethel. He will be fea-turing
major works from the Ba-roque,
Romantic and contemporary
periods including the Blazhevich
Concerto No. 2 in D flat major.
Parent is a student of Julius Whit-inger.
Hopkins, baritone, will be ac-companied
by Linda Dow as he
gives his second senior recital
completing requirements for a dou-ble
performance area major, voice
and clarinet.
Included in John's performance
will be arias from the oratorios,
"Elijah," and "The Seven Last
Words of Christ"; the Mozart opera,
"Don Giovanni," German lieder,
sacred classics and spirituals. Hop-kins
is a student of Oliver Mogck.
Thursday, March 27, 1969
working with teens, and possibly
in England, after graduation.
As far as her near future is con-cerned,
Gayle is looking forward
to a busy summer. Being a student
missionary is no easy job — no
paid vacation. Preparation includes
reading as least two selected an-thropology
books and writing a
paper on the country.
Gayle will be part of a group
of students sent all over the world
through The Evangelical Alliance
Misson (TEAM). Departure will be
from Seattle on June 21. Definite
assignments for the summer have
not yet been given so Gayle isn't
sure where or in what capacity she
will be working.
One of the frustrations Gayle
faces is that she doesn't know the
language. She is working on it
though, and already has mastered
"good morning, good afternoon
and good evening."
Although Gayle's 6'1" height
may literally cause her to "stoop
to the level" of the average smaller
Japanese people, her characteristic
humility and enthusiasm for Christ
is sure to overcome any physical
Already the experience has been
a learning one for Gayle. "The
Interim program
no tuition rebate if a student
drops out. A student concluding
his school work at Bethel or trans-ferring
out at mid-year may choose
to enroll or not enroll for the
Interim. Students matriculating in
at the mid-year may begin either
with the Interim or the second
semester. The tuition will be the
The report also stated: "At pres-ent,
a student may take up to 18
semester hours without paying ad-ditional
tuition. In the S-I-S pro-gram,
a student will be able to
earn 33 total credits by taking 15-
3-15, or he can work any combina-tion
which coincides with his aca-demic
The dean's report on the inter-im
program concluded with these
personal comments: "As Dean, I
could wish for more time to re-flect
and study the future program.
I have seriously given thought to
abandoning the entire calendar
change, make an administrative
decision to stay by the current
calendar. In some ways, this would
have been easier, even though mis-understandings
and disappointment
would have ensued.
"However, as I have viewed the
new calendar, I believe that by
the CLARION Page 5
Gayle McCandless
Lord has taught me that no matter
where I am I must use my oppor-tunities
to communicate and live
for Him — whether at home work-ing
in a department store or a-cross
the seas in Japan," Gayle
"We student missionaries are
not the 'extra-special' pious stu-dents.
We have just been given an
opportunity on a real away-from-hoMe
mission field," she added.
"A" League ____ "B" League
First Floor 9-0 First Floor 7-0
Second Old 7-2 Pit 6-1
Falcon 6-3 Faculty 4-3
Off Campus 5-4 Off Campus 4-3
New Dorm 5-4 New Dorm 4-3
Second New 4-5 Second New 4-3
Third Old 4-5 Second Old 3-4
Faculty 3-6 Third Old 2-5
Pit 1-8 Falcon 1-6
Third New 1-8 Third New 0-7
In a Tuesday afternoon meeting
in the Student Services office a
committee of four Bethel Women,
one representative of each class,
presented the results of a Student
Association referendum vote to the
various Deans.
On the previous Friday the ref-erendum
passed by nearly a three
to one margin; the exact vote was
270 yes to 95 no.
After evaluating the political tac-tics
used by the committee to de-termine
public opinion, each de-mand
was discussed separately. The
Dean of Women, Miss Marilyn
Starr, outlined basic disadvantages
for each change.
She questions the individual
wisdom of any girl taking the
opportunity to leave the building
at any unnamed hour of the night.
The committee refuted that wis-dom
was a personal value judge-ment
and rules could not be es-tablished
on individual isolated in-cidents.
Secondly, Miss Starr presented
the probability that some girls
would take advantage of their
apartment-mates by intimidating
them into leaving when her date
was present in the apartment. This
was conceded by the rest of the
group to be a possibility; however,
it was noted this would be a matter
to be determined by all occupants
of the facility to help develop re-sponsibility.
Also discussed was the incon-sistency
in regulations of male
and female students. At this point
the possibility of hour regulations
for freshmen was presented. The
Dean of Men, Donald Rainbow,
said he definitely opposed such a
move. However, he said the women
should have equal respect.
An ultimate decision still re-mains
in the hands of a committee
of representatives from the Bethel
Womens Association and the man-ors.
The referendum group will
meet with them shortly after Eas-ter
Dean Muck also stated that there
would be little pressure by the
constituency, because the only
power would lie in the possible
veto by the Board of Education.
Gayle's grateful for opportunity
Student plansto evangelize inJapan
��� • • from page 1
working at the program, Bethel
College can experience a new di-mension
in learning. Through the
year, all of us will become much
more knowledgeable in ideas, skills,
and ways of operation, to help us
construct a better educational pro-gram
for 1970."
Thinclads split in triangular
Eethel's track team came back from St. Olaf last
Friday with a loss to the St. Olaf "B" squad but also
a victory over Pillsbury in the triangular meet.
St. Olaf, which is one of the strongest track
schools in the state. walked off with 65 points to
Bethel's 44 and Pillsbury's 32. It was not all that
easy, however, as Bethel kept it close and was even
ahead halfway through the meet.
The Royal's strong point came when they scored
17 points of a possible 30 in three jumping events.
The biggest and happiest surprise was when Bob
Olsen took first in the broad jump. Dave Pearson
tied for first in the high jump to keep a tenuous
string of first place finishes in the category.
Fritz Fredeen took first in the high hurdle event
with Lehman trailing a bit behind.
Rick Berggren only managed third in the 880
Members of the baseball team work them-selves
into shape as the ensuing baseball
season hurries upon them. The ground is just
now getting into playing shape. Opening day
is April 5. a double header against Mankato at
Dunning Field.
yard dash, but it was enough to set another school
record. His time bettered the old record by Edgar
Peterman by almost two seconds.
The small size of Bethel's squad is telling. The
team lacks the depth it needs to finish strong. The
squad does have several strong performers and con-sidering
the tough competition they face, have been
doing a commendable job.
Also, it is still early in the season, while three
of the four teams they have run against have excel-lent
indoor facilities. If the improvement that should
be expected comes, the track team should come up
with some impressive victories while also shattering
several school records.
(The Clarion inadvertently ommitted mention of
Rick Berggren's school record in the 1,000 yard run
in the Superior State track meet. His time bettered
the old mark by a dozen seconds.)
St. Olaf 65; Bethel 44; Pillsbury 32
Mile 1) P. 4:29.1 2) St. 0. 3) Carlson 4:48.6 4) St. 0.
Hi Jump 1) tie: Pearson, St. 0. 5'10" 2), 3) & 4) St. 0.
60 yd. Dash 1) St. 0. 6.5 2) & 3) St. 0. 4) Pound
Shot Put 1) P. 44'7 3/4" 2) Olsen 43'1" 3) P. 4) St. 0.
Broad Jump 1) Olsen 20'6" 2) P. 3) Lehman 19'10"
4) St. 0.
440 yd. Dash 1) P. 52.7 2) St. 0. 3) Pound 53.1 4) James
60 yd H.H. 1) Fredeen 8.0 2) Lehman 3) P. 4) St. 0.
2 mile 1) St. 0. 10:18.2 2) St. 0. 3) Carlson 10:46.6
4) St. 0.
Triple Jump 1) St. 0. 41'5" 2) Lehman 41'1 1/2" 3) Ol-sen
40'3" 4) Pearson 38'6"
60 yd L.H. 1) St. 0. 7.4 2) Fredeen 3) & 4) St. 0.
Pole Vault 1) St. 0. 13' 2) & 3) P. 4) St. 0.
880 yd. Dash 1) P. 2:02 2) St. 0. 3) Berggren 2:06.7*
4) St. 0.
Mile Relay 1) St. Olaf 3:36.2 2) Bethel 3)Pillsbury
*New school record.
March 28-April 3
March 28, Basketball, Pipers at New Orleans
March 29, Hockey, North Stars at Oakland
March 30, Basketball, Pipers at Miami
March 30, Hockey, North Stars at Los Angeles
April 3, Track, Bethel at Mankato
Reasonable Student Rata.
New Address:
After April 1st
300 Physicians & Surgeons
Nicollet Mall at 9th St.
WANTED: Student to compile list of students, their
class, address and field, for use in corporate recruit-ing
and educational material mailings. Work at your
liesure. Write MCRB, Div. of Rexall Drug and Chemical
Co. 12011 Victory Blvd., No. Hollywood, Calif. 91609
geaedem Eafteat &cad
Snelling Manor 8:10 & 9:10
Bodien 8:15 & 9:15
Returning 10:50 & 12:00
Snelling Manor 6:25
Bodien 6:30
Pastor-Robert Featherstone
Assistant Pastor-Bill Malam
Your Banking Needs!
paept,c4 peia0i4a/
/04 v,0144 4.cardapil geec&
South St. Paul
Member FDIC Phone 451 - 6822
MEN PART-TIME or FULLTIME WORK
Call 226-1039
Seddefte Symposium
by Wally Borner
First Floor pulled off its second straight Intramural bas-ketball
championship with another 9-0 record. Andy Lehman
was the big man for the team, but the thing that made them
perhaps a much better team than last year was the addition
of Dave Pound. Dave became an R.A. on the first floor last
fall, and thus joined Murray Sitte at guard to provide a de-fense
stickier than peanut butter and honey.
Last year, First Floor did lose a game, however, when
Off Campus defeated them in the first annual post-season
tournament. This year the tournament will be repeated, but it
appears doubtful that an upset will be in the offing.
Off Campus tied for fourth place with New Dorm. Thus
the two teams will have to play each other to decide the fourth
participant in the tournament. The game will be held at 8
p.m. next Monday. In the only Saturday "A" League action of
the year, Off Campus was hit by an employment bug and
forfeited to New Dorm so this will be the first meeting be-tween
the two clubs.
The tournament will be held after Easter vacation with
the first round games falling on Thursday, April 17. The
championship game will probably be held on the following
Friday night with the whole campus community cordially
invited. * * * *
Off Campus had the most potent offense of the season
as they averaged a shade over 72 points a game. Doug Carlson
began the season scoring 34 points and wrapped up the scoring
title on the last game of the season as he chalked up 52 points
in the 124-63 romp over the Faculty.
First Floor was the defensive stand out as they averaged
almost 30 points a game over their opponents.
Second Old lost to First Floor in the first game of the
season, but without the services of Dick Hunter. Hunter has
given his team the rebound strength to hoist it to second place.
Falcon plays a steady game with most of the scoring re-sponsibility
lying on Lee Mattson. However, Jim Wessman has
been a high scorer from his post position, particularly on of-fensive
rebounds. Ken Irons helps Wess on the defensive
boards and always can be counted on to pop a few from the
New Dorm was not expected to finish as high as they did;
however, they put together a team that won when it had to.
The return of Don Brandsma to school gave it the lift that it
needed. Jim Youngquist's height was also a much used asset.
The first round of the tournament will find the pairings
as follows: First Floor vs. Off Campus or New Dorm and Second
Old vs. Falcon.
Page 6
the CLARION Thursday, March 27, 1969
Berggren sets mark in 880
The "BETHEL COLLEGE Racket squad faces rebuilding
For gals only - starts
this Monday
Bethel Book'lot/e
April 18 River Falls Home 2:30
April 21 Gustavus There 3:30
April 24 Hamline There 2:30
April 26. St. Cloud There 1:00
April 29 Concordia There 3:00
May Augsburg Home 2:30
May 3 Stout State There 1:00
May 6 Morris Home 3:30
May 8 St. Thomas There 3:00
May 10 EauClaire There 10:00
May 14 Concordia There 3:00
May 16 Northland Home 2:00
by Dan Nelson
Along with the coming of Spring
and the melting of that cold white
stuff come spring sports such as
track, golf, baseball, and tennis.
Soon all these sports begin compe-tition.
April 18th marks the begin-ning
of another Bethel tennis sea-son.
Top three players on last year's
team - Bill Peterson, Craig An-derson,
and John Tegenfelt - were
lost by graduation so this will be
a rebuilding year. However, there
are two lettermen back, senior
Gaylord Anderson and sophomore
Gary Ask.
Transfer Gary Hasselblad is
counted on to help the team's for-tunes.
Freshmen Steve Bloom,
Steve Duininck, and Dennis McCar-ty
are the other members of the
team. Dale Lindwall who lettered
last year will not be playing this
For the last couple of weeks
the team has been having indoor
practices at the St. Paul Rackets
club so they should be ready for
the upcoming meets. It is certain
that they are waiting for the Beth-el
courts to be cleared so they
can have outside practices.
Last year's Royal team had a rec-ord
of three wins and four losses
as some meets were cancelled by
the unpredictable Minnesota wea-ther.
This year there are twelve
meets scheduled and the success
depends highly on the ability and
improvement of the new players.
Scoring Statistics
Rec T.P.
"A" League
March 20
2nd Old 96; Faculty 39
Off Campus 52; 3rd Old 50
Falcon 55; 3rd New 42
2nd New 61; New Dorm 53
First Floor over Pit-forfeit
March 24
Off Campus 124; Faculty 63
2nd New 59; 3rd Old 50
First Floor 59; Falcon 40
New Dorm 62; Pit 37
3rd New 45; 2nd Old 44
Ave OP
320 40 8
411 45.6 9
442 49.1 9
447 55.9 8
411 58.7 7
Ave.: Game Average
"B" League
3rd Old 42; 3rd New 37 O.T.
2nd Old 66; Off Campus 63 O.T.
Pit 60; Faculty 54
2nd New 49; Falcon 14
First Floor 71; New Dorm 30
Individual Scoring
Team G pts Ave.
Doug Carlson 0.C. 8 190 24.75
Andy Lehman F.F. 8 160 20
Gary Hasselblad 2.N. 8 145 18.1
Leroy Mattson Fal. 7 142 20.3
Don Brandsma N.D. 7 139 19.85
Steve Peterson O.C. 8 129 16.12
Top Five Teams:
First Floor
Second Old
Off Campus
New Dorm
Key: Rec: Season record; T.P.: Total team points;
0.P.: Opponent's total points; 0.A.: Opponent's game average;
GP: Actual games played. Varies due to forfeits.
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text:
the year starts here0
Closing in on tax time, having already "done the deed" and paid what I owe, I'm reminded of how the year really does kind of start in April for me instead of January. I have had a slight anxiety about tax time since a few years back when I made the totally ignorant decision not to file for 2 years. I was getting income without any W-2 or 1099-Misc, so I thought, "what they don't know helps me."
It wasn't very long before that delusion was fixed by the realization that sooner or later, some other shit would get tied into taxes, and if you didn't file, you couldn't take advantage of certain opportunities. Just a few short years later, after I had already repaired the financial damage of catching up, Obamacare was announced.
It was rough to catch up, because I had to print out everything from 3 years, because I was filing the 2 skipped years as I filed the 3rd year "on time". When I saw the difference in how much the year on time cost me versus each year skipped plus penalties, I realized how foolish it was to skip those years to begin with. I considered just filing the current year and not saying anything about the 2 skipped years, but then the whole thing happened with "Wesley Snipes" getting busted for owing millions.
There was a freaky, weird combination of paranoia and intuition causing me to decide to file 2 skipped years as I finally acted like an adult and filed the current year. There was also the fact that "clips 4 sale" uses a system of sending out a 1099-misc whenever someone makes more than $600 in a single year. Success has it's consequences.
I was lucky to make more than $600 in a year, but shocked to see that 1099-Misc come in the mail in early Feb. At that point, it all hit me, that I was fooling myself, and that you can't fool a data mining, privacy invading entity like the U. S. Department of Treasury and get away with it. When I filed those 3 years, I did it in person, bringing paper returns in to an IRS office in myself.
I made a comment to the big beautiful agent who I ended up with that "I'm not going down like Wesley Snipes." She laughed out loud. I also made a comment that there is no point in hiding income because the government knows how much you make already anyway. All my income is "digital" and I'm sure that I am not the only one being made aware of each deposit from each company.
I was so nervous about all that stuff, as most people probably would be. Yet, I chose to put myself right into one of their offices, in person, and hand over tax returns from previous years in an act of surrender. I kept reading that the IRS goes easier on you if you go to them rather than them coming to you. That translates into something else that happened years after I caught up and continued to file on time.
When Candy was gone the second time for 8 months, I got to know a neighbor who started talking to me while I was outside smoking cigarettes that I no longer smoke. His name was Kevin, and he worked as a carpenter, which also means contractor. He was good at what he does. I've seen some shitty carpentry, and his work was way superior. He knew what he was doing, and he could get jobs with apartment complexes that were being remodeled easily.
He had made some friends with apartment management people who could provide him with regular work. Even though he didn't have a typical 9-5 job, he was a hustler who could go out there and find some kind of job just as he needed the cash.
Unfortunately, he hadn't filed taxes in over a decade. He had been working "under the table" here and there, but a few of those apartment complexes did issue him 1099's because they were up to date on their taxes, and nobody is going to pass up the chance to write off payments to contractors as a tax deduction. That's where my buddy Kev got fucked.
He was so confident in his ability to get away without filing taxes, that he had an account at a credit union in his own name, with over $10,000 in it. One day he knocks on my door freaking out because he want to his credit union to get some cash, and they told him that his account had been closed by the IRS.
Another irony. I felt dumb at one point for giving up all the financial info that I did to end up with a tax liability that was pretty close to the $10,000 mark myself. Luckily, I didn't freak out, and I simply started a "payment plan" with them. After just a few years of paying a bare minimum, there was only a little over $1000 left. At that point, Candy was gone and I was having financial issues, so I called them on the phone, and I was able to request a "penalty abatement" right then and there.
Because of my positive payment history, and the fact that I had continued to file on time every year after, they actually took off $1000 of penalties, so I went from owing over a thousand to owing under just one payment with one phone call to them.
The lawyers on television that advise you not to talk to the IRS are real douche bags. Those greedy, selfish cock suckers would have you pay them thousands of dollars to file an "offer in compromise" which the IRS turns down a vast majority of. That means, you could pay a lawyer to file that one thing for you, and then the IRS turns it down, so now you still have to pay them the full amount plus pay that scum bag lawyer!
I could have tried an offer in compromise myself, but I don't think it would have been accepted, because the first year that I started paying on those back taxes, I made more cash than I had in any year before or since. I went up to nearly 29K in one year, which for me, is a lot. I know that so many people would feel some kind of pity on me for living my whole life around the 20k per year range, but money doesn't make me "happy", life experience and growth does.
The request for penalty abatement is easier to get than an offer in compromise, and not to mention it only took one phone call instead of pages of documentation. I didn't really owe quite enough for an offer in compromise anyway. That's for the big hitters who get paid twice what I do every year and go twice as long as I did without filing!
When Kev lost his bank account, I started to suggest a few ways that he could hide his income in the future. He had already considered some of those things, but he was in a panic about what to do "right now" and what to do about rent when it was coming up. I immediately felt compelled to start avoiding him at that point, because a "friend in need" and all. I'm so used to people going into "bum mode" when something like that happens, but I should have considered how Kev really is a hard worker.
Kev did bounce back, he got some job and started making money just in time, just like I did myself when I got 2 job offers just weeks before barely having rent in the bank. The problem with Kev is, even though he started making more money, he already felt such a loss, that his hustling habits started back up.
By the time I left Louisiana, he had managed to beg around $40 off of me, which is a *lot* because I don't give money out like a charity, usually. He also owed me a little weed, but it didn't matter by the time I was leaving Louisiana because I didn't want to be traveling 2000 miles in a uhaul pulling my van holding on to a drug that could literally cause me to lose everything if I was caught with it. At least, that was before getting the medical marijuana card, but then again, while moving, that card would be worthless in the 5 states that I would travel through on the way to Nevada.
Nothing justified the years of paying monthly on my back taxes like watching Kevin lose over $10,000, and not even want to approach the IRS to see if he could get that money back if he agreed to file all returns not previously filed and get on a payment plan to pay any back taxes owed. When I suggested that to him, he looked at me and laughed, saying "I will never make enough money to pay them what I owe them."
That's what I may have thought myself at the time when I got hit with the letter from the IRS after they "evaluated" my case and gave me the bottom line figure that I would owe them. It's ironic that I talk about how adversity creates inspiration and motivation, because the year that I got that bill, I've already said I made more money than I had ever made, and more than I have made any year since then.
Now, I would be crazy to jack my income up over $20k, because I have to keep it below %133 of the federal poverty guideline in order to be eligible for medicaid. Why is it so important to be eligible for medicaid? Because, I realize that if I made $20k instead of less than $15.5K, at least according to the federal poverty guideline issued for the year 2014, I would probably not be able to afford insurance payments, prescription cost, plus paying estimated taxes all year so I don't owe over $800 like I did this fucking year!
I was lucky because I anticipated putting out around $600. I thought I had paid enough to only owe $500 by the time I filed, but the fucking self employment tax calculator I used was off by hundreds of dollars!
Yeah, I thought I would owe $500, and because the first estimated tax payment is due April 15th, and I wait until nearly the last minute to file because I know I have to pay out, I was ready to put out $200 for the first payment along with $500 for what I owed. Unfortunately, I owed $800 and still had to make a payment by the April 15th first estimated payment deadline, so I only paid $100 in estimated…
I am not paying estimated taxes quarterly this year. That shit is too hard, because every time I am prepared to put out over $400, for one quarterly payment, some shit comes along and causes me to delay paying that much, and then I fail to catch up later in the year. This year, I'm going to pay $250 or more per month, so by the end of the year, I will have already put up $2000. That way, if my taxes are higher than that, it can't be by much, and I will be able to make a full first estimated payment at the same time I pay off whatever I failed to pay for the previous year.
My expenses went down, my income went up for 2014. That would normally be a good thing, but not in my case, because it bumped me up to the next higher tax table and I got hit with about $400 more in taxes owed than the previous year. Just making an extra $2000 cost me more than $400 in taxes… Not spending $500 in expenses this year that I spent in the previous year also raised income by that much too, which fucked me even harder.
The truth is, I am such a cheap bastard that I have been successful in my first month quitting smoking because I can't bear to pay nearly $200 a month in fucking cigarettes! Fuck nicotine, that shit is too fucking expensive! Paying that money for cigarettes each and every month was throwing away some of the income that I am limiting to be eligible for medicaid!
Drinking beer also contributes to money loss over time, in what adds up to a shocking annual expenditure, but not nearly to the extent that cigarettes were. The sad thing is, our wonderful, allegedly "free enterprise" system came up with this strategy of penalizing smokers with artificially raised cost in order to deter them from smoking. Isn't it ironic how the poorest of people cling on to such an expensive, self destructive habit?
When I started to seriously add it all up, it was so shocking to me that I was able to be bled so hard by taxes and then waste so much money on top of that! I, like most people, would choose for years to be so lazy that I would have every ability and intention of adding up those little costs over time, but I would conveniently prioritize it so low that I would never get around to it.
It wasn't until I started to add stuff up in my mind, using approximations about frequency that are probably remarkably accurate without going back to the receipts that I have organized into categories. I could have simply started using a more thorough method of organization to put cigarette receipts in one envelope, and then pull it out after 3 months of accumulation to come up with a monthy, and yearly average cost. That would have probably shocked me into quitting smoking right then and there.
I didn't need a "new years resolution" to quit smoking, or to make my accounting method more purposeful and serious. I have finally dumped my out of state checking account, so I can have all my income reflected in all deposits in just one account. Lucky for me, the local account that I have now allows me to search for specific transactions over a defined period of time and actually provide a total at the bottom of the spreadsheet.
I won't mention names of banks here, but the old bank had the capability of searching a date range for deposits, but they didn't give a total at the bottom. I would have to take a screen shot of that spreadsheet and then manually add up the numbers over a whole year with 'calculator'.
The new account does it for me, so it's one stop shop to see income total at any give time in the year. This allows me to create a very distinct trajectory over time and give a pretty good estimate of annual income based on the first few months.
This is internet publishing, so amount of income can fluctuate based on effort put into the work itself. The second one stops updating things, the money stops soon after. The work basically goes "inactive" and people start copying it and putting it everywhere. I like to say that all models quit, and when they do, the dating sites start using their images as spam, because nobody that attractive joins those dating sites.
So, instead of quitting smoking cigarettes as a new year resolution, I made a fiscal year resolution. It's not exactly the same time as a corporate fiscal year, it's an idea that pops into my head when I consider my use of the title "the year starts here."
Now, I have had the idea to not only stash business expense receipts into one envelope, why not use the 3 categories that I use the most? Supplies, Repairs and maintenance, and Legal and professional services are the 3 categories that I have used consistently for certain things, and I maintain all receipts and notes on why those receipts are relevant.
I get so specific that because food is something used as a "prop", I can't put it into the Deductible meals and entertainment (see instructions) category. It's bad enough that I use "supplies" when it's followed by " (not included in Part III)." The "meal" is being used as a prop in a mini documentary, so it is actually more of a supply, assuming props for production would go there. It's an item being used but destroyed in the process of creating a documentary which generates nearly all income being taxed to begin with. It's a full circle that somehow combines taxes with food. Weird.
Because I would not want to appear to be abusing food as an expense, I keep all food receipts that are not used as props in another envelope. If I were ever confronted about the use of a dozen or so food receipts as expenses, I would pull out the huge envelope of food receipts for the same year that were *not used*. While the receipts for the food that was not used are irrelevant to taxes, being in possession of those receipts validates the relatively few receipts that are being deducted as expenses.
This strategy is what I call the "avalanche of paperwork theory". It cost me an ink cartridge when I was ready to verify my income to the department of welfare to keep my medicaid, and all they wanted was the 2 pages of the tax return that showed income and expenses. Like they had to go compare it to the database they have stashed somewhere that shows what the government already knows I am making.
I'm not taking all of the assistance I could, because I don't want to be dependent on any system that one political party wants to destroy so badly. Oh, guess who? I don't have to bash conservatives here, I rarely get deep into politics unless I'm talking about drugs.
I really do need the help though. Even if I made more, I would be paying even more taxes. I am legitimately making under %133 federal poverty guidelines, but I still had to pay $2397 in "self employment tax". Yeah, I would pay less taxes if I made more money working at a fast food place… That makes so much sense to me.
In a way, Obamacare is not free. I am paying for my medicaid, because my income after expenses is below $15,000 a year, but I am paying $2400 in income tax. I was prepared for just over $2000 because of that shitty online estimated tax calculator. I was doing the whole year income after expenses, so it wasn't like I was depending on it for the quarterly payments. Now, I don't want to make quarterly payments because a monthly bill of $250 or more is more manageable than coming up with $750 a quarter… I have no fucking idea why they don't *encourage* that.
They know that they are taking a big chunk out of a very low income, and they don't care. I pay it, because I would rather be honest and pay it now than be caught and pay even more later. I know about data mining and data collection. I know that there are databases that I have no way of knowing about, but if it's possible, and smarter people than me are working on it, I can rest assured that they are reading what I type as I read it. It's not paranoia, I'm not angry about it, I just live my life in gratitude that I have what I have, and I have the talent and ability to create what I create.
I'm not bitter because I don't make a lot of money. I don't make a lot of money because I don't try. I don't try because I have very real physical and emotional issues that are waiting to be completely resolved. I have quit smoking, and I am not the slightest bit tempted to go back. I didn't get drunk on ice beer last night, and I wasn't trying "not" to drink. I don't have to drink every day, I could go days or weeks without it and just shift over to another hobby, maybe writing in some blog that nobody will ever read.
I can't drink when I want to do something, because I know, while sober, that while I'm drunk I don't want to do anything, except for drink, and maybe rant weird shit on twitter and facebook for some reason. Actually, I kind of suspect the reason already, being a coping mechanism that I picked up when I was emotionally devastated by Candy's 2 previous departures, and then the constant threat of leaving a 3rd time after we moved to Vegas. Thankfully, that has been resolved, and therefore, Candy has given me a break from being depressed so I can work on my fucking issues for once.
It's ironic, that Candy wanted the version of me that she met to "come back". She kept leaving and coming back hoping that every time she left, I would get better instead of getting worse. In a way, I got a lot better after she came back the second time, because I managed to keep working that shitty job that was ripping me off by not paying my payroll taxes, and I saved up enough to move to Las Vegas a 2nd time in my life.
This time I had the big 16′ truck, towing the big shitty van, that I still have and it still actually works. I never drove a truck that big, I never towed a 6 wheel trailer with a shitty van on it, and I was lucky to only have to back up one time, to leave the parking lot I was moving from, and I almost fucked up the trailer hitch right then. Luckily, I had enough space after getting into that weird angle to go forward, clearing a big brick fence, but going right over a bunch of grass.
The irony of Candy leaving and coming back hoping to find a better version of me is that her leaving created a catastrophic deep level depression that would take time for me to resolve. There is no immediate reaction in this complex brain, and habits ingrained over time have to be removed over time.
When Candy threatened to leave the 3rd time, while we were in Vegas, it didn't help me to get better. It caused me to descend into the emotional state I felt either time she left before, but only on occasion. There were stretches of productivity and drive interrupted by intense episodes of inner depression. Candy would not see them as an obvious manifestation of anything being "wrong", she would just notice that I got a little more drunk than usual, or listened to sad music instead of high energy electronic music.
There wasn't much room for sympathy in Candy's heart for what I was going through, because she started to feel like she already "had enough". I started to recognize a familiar pattern where Candy comes back, I am working on myself, but I'm not fast enough, she loses patience, and she runs away again.
I quit drinking vodka because she came back, but she knew that I had to step down with beer until a certain "point". That point was for me to choose, not her, and she recognized that while she was gone, she wanted to work with me to get through it because she was not with me for months before.
I would make promises, but still know and share my limitations based on my ability to just "snap back" after what really was a complete nervous breakdown. Most people who got down to the level I did would have had to go through a lot more bullshit before pulling themselves out of it. The fact that I managed to get a job while Candy was gone showed her that I could stay sober long enough to at least pull that off.
When Candy came back, I didn't think I was overdoing it, but I kind of was. I was setting limits on myself and then breaking them repeatedly. We were staying in different rooms, and by the time we would decide to "hang out", I was drunk already. I didn't stay drunk all day, but our timing was such that we would tend to "do our own thing" all day and then maybe hang out in the evening. If I started drinking too early, or Candy hadn't announced she wanted to hang out early enough, I would start with the beer, and it didn't take much.
When I was doing vodka, I had a high tolerance. When i started doing beer, I used the 12 pack limit over 2 days to try to control myself. That started to break down, and not long ago I was picking up the 30 pack because it's "cheaper".
It's not really cheaper if a 30 pack is consumed in even less time than 2 12 packs. It wasn't until I started to see myself descend into a higher and higher tolerance that I realized what I was doing to myself. I was slowly letting it get worse instead of better.
Candy had an epiphany that involved a lot of shit I don't want to get back into now, but she realized that she couldn't control me, and the time line for me to get back to "normal" was not decided by her, or even all parts of myself. It wasn't until I decided to finally stop smoking that I realized how much control I could grasp again over all other addictions disguised as "needs".
Candy is related to my desire to quit smoking as well, because when I watched her breathing getting worse and worse before treatment, I realized that she didn't even smoke and she could barely keep enough oxygen coming in. She's huge, so just standing up for her is like me picking up 300lbs. I can only imagine what it would be like to be on a level of gravity that few humans ever experience, without weight lifting.
I started to notice that as I was pushing her around on this bariatric transport chair that I would get winded way too quickly. I would notice it during sex, and also realize that it effected my energy level too. Once I started to realize how much i was paying to destroy my sex life, quitting smoking wasn't a priority, it was a necessity.
Because I can actually use having sex to create content, which creates income, I also have another incentive to stop spending so much of that precious little income on something that is destroying my physical ability.
Now that I have quit smoking, there is less of a desire to consume too much alcohol, because there is a renewed awareness of my ability and how it is compromised by the use of both nicotine and alcohol.
If I think I am a relatively smart person, I should not have figured this out so slowly. On the other hand, it's hard to want to improve yourself when you secretly want to die. I had to have many varied experiences involving other people besides Candy to finally realize that I was limiting my own potential and also the time I have to do everything that I fantasize about doing in my short and half over life.
In just the very first month that I have quit smoking, I have tested myself in a variety of ways, and I already see a marked improvement of oxygen intake. I realize that I have smoked for 2 decades on and off, more on than off, and it will take much more time to do serious healing. I realize that I may never be granted with the full capacity I might have if I had never started smoking that shit to begin with.
One interesting fact, after getting the medical marijuana card, I made the simple observation that nicotine doesn't get you "high", it just takes you down from an anxiety that is created by the addiction to it in the first place.
That shit is fucked up. I get so mad at myself when I realize that quitting smoking right now, and paying taxes monthly instead of quarterly, is going to cause no change in my budget whatsoever. I don't have to set aside money for taxes if I'm paying monthly, and because I'm saving almost that amount by not spending it on something else, the taxes become more "invisible" unless they go even higher.
When I bring the drinking down to half of what it has become, I will be saving even more money. The beer doesn't cost as much as cigarettes though. If I spend $8 on beer as often as every 2 days, that's still $120. That is the maximum allowed amount that I let myself get though, with my strategy of attempting to control alcoholism through intake restriction rather than abstinence.
I was spending that much on crap that I don't need, and I am way too poor to think I need that shit! I am not bitter about being "poor" because I enjoy living with such a strategic outlook and not giving away money on crap that I am being made to believe I want, when i don't really want it.
I have been putting off changing my cable bill for days because I didn't prioritize doing it, but I got a digital antenna that picks up more channels than what I paid cox cable for 13 of them. $27 for 13 channels, that I would say are "shitty" but I do appreciate local news. The irony is that there is a free digital channel just for local weather, that shitty cox cable doesn't include in the minimum package.
I'm glad I write here now, because I'm going to bring my cable bill down under $100 a month, and still have the highest speed internet below business level, plus the shitty phone with no long distance as a local incoming phone that doesn't use up "minutes" on the "pay per minute" plan I still use! While some people spend over $100 a month on a fucking phone, I pay about $20 every 2 months for a cell I only use when I have to.
I can make so little and be so content because I own my shitty vehicle, and just have to bust my knuckles up a little when it fucks up. I have an old shitty phone with no internet, that I don't have to pay on monthly. I build my own computer systems about every 2 years, so I haven't purchased a company branded computer system since the late 90's. I don't watch much television, so I have one, but it's an old CRT probably less than 40″. Now I have a digital antennae hanging from the ceiling in an artistic way that picks up more channels than the bare minimum shit package from cox cable.
I can live off of less than $1000 a month, but I make a little more than that, no matter how much I try to keep it at a certain point. It's like a natural habit for me to do things online that happen to promote my business and end up causing a little bit of a 'surplus' here and there over the year.
That's why my next investment is going to be to accept mastercard as well as visa. I'm saying this as ccbill takes around $85 out of every payment until they hit $500 for the annual visa renewal required for them to process visa for my website.
Another irony. The clips4sale store sent me a 1099 for over $11,000. When subtracted from total deposits, that means the web sites made just over $5000. That is before expenses, which is why my income is still under $15,000. My expenses were still under $2000, which fucked me, which is why I want to pay the additional $500 this year to start with mastercard.
I didn't do it originally because mastercard was such a smaller market. When I could not take visa, my membership went into the toilet. I only started clip stores because I could not afford the $750 way back to take visa when they started to require it. I should have, because by now, I would have made more, and the renewal would have been less painful when it is taken out of income rather than spent on it's own.
I will have to spend the $500 for mastercard just to keep expenses up to what they were this year, because my cheap ass doesn't like to spend money, even on the business. That's why I have had to quit smoking and now I want to quit drinking because of how much money I could save, meaning how much less I have to make, meaning being even more fucking lazy!
I am such a hippy now. This flower child wants to do the least work possible, but I have issues when some of my "fun" is in promoting and creating the work. If you love what you do, you never work a day in your life. I guess that's why I am addicted to creating super fat content.
With this new year, new energy, and new motivation, I have also finally created some video that I have wanted to create for a long time. I have been going back to doing the hardcore stuff. It's not as easy with a fucked up hip, but I still manage it, and now that I have better oxygen intake and more energy, I am getting back to where I was in the Florida days. I know I'm not even close to being back there yet, and at my age, I'll be lucky to get to %80 of what I was capable of when I started in the early 30's.
I impressed myself with my last clip though. I haven't released it yet, but instead of being 14 minutes long, I accidentally got up to nearly 25 minutes. I was just having so much fun fucking the piss out of Candy in front of a camera again that I got carried away, and it shows. That's the whole point though.
I am finally getting back to who I was so long ago. It's ironic that Candy always wanted this guy back, but it took even more than getting her back to bring him back. I have to give some credit to another woman that I had to hurt so badly, and I feel badly about it. If it weren't for her though, Candy may never have realized what she was about to lose forever.
I guess one can take it for granted that Candy rarely, if ever, reads this blog. When I talk 'about her' in the way that I do, it's not spiteful or with any need for vindication. I point it out because it is the truth. There is another woman who helped me greatly, and it did hurt me deeply to have to disappoint her.
Candy wants this version of me to come back, but that version existed with different rules, agendas, and inspirations. I am still trying to resolve how I can fully return to the mindset of wanting to be fully monogamous to Candy, after the change from that status seemed to start a chain reaction that almost destroyed the relationship on multiple occasions.
I am not saying that I need an open relationship to return to being the guy I was when Candy met me, but I can't help but notice the connection from the patterns created in the past. Candy left the first time just months after I said I only wanted to be with her. That did something to me that hasn't been "fixed", and as I clear my head of the nicotine and alcohol, I am starting to see it more clearly.
I worry that the need for alcohol arose to begin with because I could never be happy with myself if I never got to the bottom of what I think I want or need out of life and relationships with women. I'm already kind of a "special case" because I am a "pornographer" and I tend to enroll whoever I am with into my work.
I say "whoever I am with" because there was the super sized woman I have already posted photos of here who I worked with when Candy was gone the last time.
The woman I met and had an affair with while Candy threatened to leave a 3rd time had a remarkably similar look to this woman, and she was actually available, and ready to go all out into a live in relationship when Candy was ready to eject.
One can imagine what this has created within my brain, and how I am still resolving this, even as I continue to try to better myself by quitting smoking and finally controlling drinking. All the things Candy really wanted, and I had to fuck her over in order to give those things to her. The irony is never ending in my life.

subset: commoncrawl


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Contact the Host
Maker Faire Africa
Maker Faire Africa is a pan-African event and community of inventors, engineers, designers, scientists, and anyone interested in making things for Africa, within Africa. Each year, our 3-day fair celebrates African ingenuity, creativity and innovation from the grassroots level to the most advanced technologies.
Our Workshop Day is a series of back-to-back sessions on topics that focus on entrepreneurship, invention, design, technology & science, all with the intent on driving making and manufacturing within the continent.


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12 December 2005 23:00
LES LOGS POUR LES NULSby 1 other
LES LOGS POUR LES NULS LSQ, LPSI, LCT : Petite histoire de l'instauration en 3 temps d'un état policier numérique à la française
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Founded in late 2003 and heartquartered in France, we are non-profit and independant.
We believe in the open web, think internet services should be sustainable, build for the long term.
While we are re-launching the service, we only accept new members through invitation.


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Great video!
Great video!
wooohooo!!! thats awesome!
Damn that was a hell of a return, I still remember watching that being like DAMN !!!
That was an awesome return... If I was Troy I would send that to Palmer as a Christmas gift!
I need to get that last part, where it shows the final collision from the endzone view, as an avatar for use on Bengalszone.
OMG that is too kewl! That guy seems to either be in on most all plays or not there at all.
Peace & Yours in Black 'N Gold,
Many thanks to BR7 (Ron) for the sig and matching avatar
Awesome video!! That's as good as Bettis running over that linebacker from Chicago...what was his name????
BITE ME ICS!...Woodsonsgirl
I gotta tell ya, that's just one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen!!!
Thanks Steelers086 for my awesome signature!!!
Thanks for the new avatar SteelerBee!
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BARCELONA, Spain, June 23, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals, LLC, a privately-held biopharmaceutical company focused on the research and development of Focal Adhesion Kinase (FAK) inhibitors for cancer, today presented pre-clinical research results at the European Society for Medical Oncology (ESMO) 13th World Congress on Gastrointestinal Cancer in Barcelona, Spain demonstrating that novel FAK inhibitors targeting the binding site of vascular endothelial growth factor receptor 3 (VEGFR-3) decrease pancreatic cancer tumor blood flow and reduce blood vessel density in vivo. The research was conducted by CureFAKtor scientists at the Roswell Park Cancer Institute in Buffalo, New York.
In a poster presentation, CureFAKtor Senior Scientist Dr. Elena Kurenova reported the antiangiogenic effect of the Company's lead small molecule compound, CFAK-C4, in pancreatic cancer tumors. Contrast-enhanced magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) revealed significant reduction in tumor vascular volume and permeability in CFAK-C4-treated pancreatic tumors in vivo. MRI-based changes in tumor vascularity were seen at both the first and second week after therapy.
CureFAKtor scientists analyzed the blood vessel density in a subcutaneous mouse pancreatic tumor model in two CFAK-C4 treated groups and compared vessel density to control group tumors treated with phosphate-buffered saline (PBS). One group was treated for 35 days with treatment starting the day after cell injection. The second treatment group started when tumors reached a volume of 100 cubic millimeters (mm). Tumors from both groups demonstrated statistically significant reduction of blood vessels per square mm equaling blood vessel density.
A CureFAKtor study reported earlier this year pinpointed the site of interaction of VEGFR-3 and FAK to create small molecule drugs capable of disrupting signaling and causing death of pancreatic cancer cells. CFAK-C4, reduced tumor growth in vivo in mouse pancreatic cancer cells by up to 60 percent, and CFAK-C4 combined with chemotherapy drug gemcitabine had a synergistic effect and led to 80 percent pancreatic cancer tumor reduction.
The study also found that CFAK-C4 combined with gemcitabine had a prolonged effect on pancreatic tumor growth. Two weeks after treatment, the tumor size in the previously treated group was approximately 75 percent smaller than the tumor in the control group. The researchers concluded that targeting FAK with small molecule inhibitors can be effectively used to develop potential oral-based cancer therapies.
"We continue to gain knowledge about the activity of our lead compound, CFAK-C4, and this most recent study furthers our understanding of FAK inhibitors and the potential of this compound," said H. Shep Wild, President and Chief Executive Officer of CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals. "CureFAKtor's proprietary FAK technology platform may represent a significant breakthrough in the treatment of most solid tumor cancers in that its unique mechanism of action disrupts the signaling of specific protein to protein binding between FAK and tumors."
Earlier this year, CureFAKtor received Orphan Drug Designation by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for CFAK-C4 in combination with gemcitabine for the treatment of pancreatic cancer, a disease with the lowest survival rate of any cancer and limited patient treatment options.
About Focal Adhesion Kinase (FAK)
Focal adhesion Kinase (FAK) is substantially over-expressed in many solid tumors. FAK operates by placing itself at the contact points between tumor cells and the extra cellular matrix that surrounds them. Studies by CureFAKtor and others found that in this role, FAK is an important facilitator for signals that cause tumor cells to survive, grow, and produce new blood vessels to sustain growth and travel to distant places within the body where they may establish new tumor sites. It also cocoons the tumor cells to protect them from the body's natural signaling mechanisms that would cause deviant tumor cells to be eliminated. In a similar fashion, FAK protects tumors from chemotherapeutic drugs and radiation, allowing the tumor cells to resist these therapies.
About CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals
CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals is a biopharmaceutical company focused on the research and development of Focal Adhesion Kinase therapies to prevent or treat cancer. The Company has identified more than 40 compounds that target specific FAK signaling sites. CureFAKtor's investigational and combination therapy products target pancreatic, breast, colon, melanoma, lung and brain oncology disorders. CureFAKtor research is conducted at the Roswell Park Cancer Institute. CureFAKtor is planning a Phase I clinical study of CFAK-C4 in combination with gemcitabine chemotherapy, the current standard of care for pancreatic cancer, in 2012. Additional information about the company may be found at www.curefaktor.com
Forward-Looking Safe Harbor Statement:
This press release contains forward-looking statements for CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals that involve risks and uncertainties that could cause the Company's actual results to differ materially from the anticipated results and expectations expressed in these forward-looking statements. These statements are based on current expectations, forecasts and assumptions that are subject to risks and uncertainties, which could cause actual outcomes and results to differ materially from these statements.
Media Contact
Rx Communications Group, LLC
Eric Goldman
Vice President, Public Relations
|SOURCE CureFAKtor Pharmaceuticals, LLC
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