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Are You Dreaming or Doing?
Schools around the U.S. recently let out for summer, and that means the clichés of graduation speeches were echoing across the land. Variations of "this is only the beginning," "seize your future," "be true to yourself," etc. resonate because they're all true.
However, every time we start a new journey, whether that's graduating or starting a new job or project, we're likely full of dreams based on the potential of that new phase. We imagine how awesome our life might become, now that we've taken this next step.
There's nothing wrong with those dreams, but they are—themselves—just the first step. And that's where many rah-rah graduation speeches fall short.
Potential Is just the Beginning
A harsh truth is that most people won't reach their dreams. For an unfortunate few, they'll fall short through no fault of their own. Life happens, circumstances can be insurmountable, or tragedy can strike too close to home.
But for many others—probably for most others—they won't reach their dreams because there's such a gap between wanting something and making it happen. Just because the potential exists doesn't make it so.
It takes work to make our dreams happen. It often requires us to change, and change is hard.
We might have to take risks, do things we don't want to do (but that are required for the journey), or get over self-doubt and other fears. Plus, as I mentioned last time, just because we love what we're doing doesn't mean it's easy. It's still work.
Work Toward Our Dreams
Back when I was of the age to be at the receiving end of graduation speeches, I heard the advice to "not rest on your laurels"—and I had absolutely no idea what that phrase meant.
I probably even thought that was a stupid piece of advice. What was the point of working hard if you never got to enjoy it, right? *smile*
But that's the difference between thinking of life as a destination and as a journey. When we're young, we might think that we'll suddenly reach a point where we're an adult. Where we're done growing and striving. Where we've reached our goal.
We eventually realize that we can be 30, 40, or 50 (or more) and still feel like we're merely impersonating an adult. *raises hand* At the same time, goals keep us young because to strive is to live.
In fact, if we reach a goal of publishing a book, we might expand that goal to publish five books. There's no finish line when we can proclaim ourselves done other than death itself.
Time and experience has helped me understand the laurels phrase, but I prefer the Will Rogers version:
We might be in the right place at the right time, but if we're not grabbing opportunities and taking chances, if we're not learning and improving, we can still lose.
Working for Our Dreams Will Lead to Failures
Wait…what? Chasing our dreams will lead to failures? Yep.
Pursuing our dreams often means that we need to take risks. Will we spend money to attend that workshop that might help our craft? Will we quit our unfulfilling job to work toward our dream full-time? Will we submit our work to an agent or editor?
Every one of those actions (or any other steps we might need to take) comes with risk. The workshop might be a waste of time or money, we might struggle to pay the bills without a day job, and we might be rejected.
So yes, unless our life goes perfectly 100% of the time (in which case, let me go in on a lottery ticket with you *grin*), some of the risks we take will lead to failures. The point isn't that we failed, it's that we tried.
Most mistakes we make won't be fatal. We can learn from them and improve our chances next time. In other words, even failure leads to growth that avoids the "just sitting there" problem.
Taking action to pursue our dreams is the opposite of just sitting there. If we don't take any action, we definitely won't make progress. For as unlikely as it is that our life will go perfectly 100% of the time, it's even more unlikely that our dreams will be handed to us through no effort on our part.
It could be easy to get discouraged. The world is scary. Taking risks is scary. Things often go wrong, and we can fail horribly.
When we push ourselves, we'll make mistakes. But if we don't even try, we will lose.
What Actions Are We Taking to Reach Our Dreams?
So if we don't want to get run over by just sitting there thinking about our dreams, we have to do something. This is why goals and plans and self-imposed deadlines (with flexibility built in) are so important.
We need a plan for what steps we'll take to get from our current Point A to the Point B of our dreams. Those steps can be almost anything:
- Make Decisions:
- What genre appeals to us?
- Which agents do we want to query?
- What publishing path will we follow?
- Will we accept a contract offer?
- What cover artist do we want?
- Seek Help:
- Find a mentor and/or supportive friends
- Attend a workshop
- Search for beta readers or critique partners
- Gather feedback
- Build an indie publishing team
- Pursue Self-Improvement:
- Change our attitude
- Identify what skills we're missing
- Understand our options
- Study what we need to know
- Learn from feedback
Most of those aren't big steps, and that's okay. As I talked about last time, the slow and steady can add up over time.
The point isn't that we're reaching our goal within a certain time frame or that everything will go smoothly. The point is that we're making some kind of progress every day we can. And that's how we can turn our dreams into reality. *smile*
Do you know others who have dreams but never follow through? Have you ever struggled with that issue? What do you find hardest about moving forward or making progress? What advice would you give to someone who seems "stuck" and needs to take action? Do you have suggestions for other ways we can make progress?Pin It
What do you think?
20 Comments on "Are You Dreaming or Doing?"
This saying goes around in my martial arts circles: "Behind every black is a person who never gave up." Black belts aren't magical or superhuman, they just kept going to class and training. They kept showing up. That's my piece of advice for new people. "Just show up." It's pretty amazing how much we can accomplish when we simply take the time to go to class and train regularly, small step by small step.
I also like to focus on how good it feels when I've taken a step, no matter how small, towards accomplishing a goal. A good day writing is a step in the right direction. Yay for me!
I think we also need to remember our limitations, not the least of which is time. I'd love to learn how to draw better, but my time is better spent doing the things I really love to do, things I'm already good at but could be better. My goals have to be in alignment with the amount of time I have. If I took the time to learn to draw, I'd have to cut out something else, and I'm not willing to do that. Knowing our limitations also allows us to let go of a goal that isn't working.
Thanks for the thoughtful post!
Great post, Jami! Words of wisdom, and an apt reminder to work towards your dreams. I recently listened to a great "transformation" webinar, where the speaker said, "The antidote for despair is action." One of my new favorite quotes. 🙂
I've definitely struggled with this issue. Still am actually. It's hard to admit publicly because I don't have anything to complain about. I'm not busy with kids, don't have a severely stressful or demanding job and have a very supportive husband.
So the only thing holding me back, is me. Low self confidence, doubt, anxiety, lack of accountability by someone other than me.
My biggest excuse in the past was my health issues. But I can't hide behind those. I have to live my life.
One of the obstacles for me is decision-making. Your advice about making mistakes is spot on. I just have to keep remembering that.
Also, what you said about finding support is definitely key. A mentor, someone who knows exactly what you're going through, but can keep you accountable and help you work through problems.
Great post and great advice from commenters!
I just realized recently that having taken small steps to get to the goal of leaving my job to write full-time, I'd thought that was it, and if I didn't have it all together with all this time available, I never would.
Now I realize that while my circumstances might not change – don't really need to change – there's still a lot of steps to take in myself, taking myself more seriously as a writer and being more serious about doing the work. I'd plodded along for months, but now I feel like I'm actually moving!
Excellent post Jami. Good to have you back. I hope, other than illness, you enjoyed your visit and vacation with the family. Goals. That's always been a touchy subject for me. I tend to not set them anymore because every time I do, it never happens. Something always comes along and wipes out those plans. So, I've learned to just roll with it and do my best. But that doesn't mean I'm not driven. I still push to get things done. And maybe someday, I'll get something back in return.
When I first decided it was time to stop fooling around and do something about the thing I feel passionate about, I worried about following a pipe dream. So many other things I had tried fell down the virtual rabbit's hole never to be seen again. But this time was different. The only problems I'm having with my dream is finding the money to do online workshops (because of limitations, in-person ones aren't possible) and figuring out what skills I'm missing or need improvement on to catch up to the level of other skills. Skills will always need to be improved but some fall back and need more attention sometimes.
[…] reminder to be kind to ourselves is important in the context of my last post, where I asked what actions we were taking to achieve our dreams. Depending on our mindset, we might feel ashamed for not having reached our dream […]
[…] Are You Dreaming or Doing? […]
[…] Are You Dreaming or Doing? by Jami Gold. […]


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Open sesame!
Today I was folding clean laundry (dark tones) in the time Jofee had his naptime. I had planned to open my Memechest and check the dates but no time. too much laundry to fold! So I thought why not chit chat about fashion and give you my fashion confession :)
Scarves hanger
So on my left door I've hung my most favorite scarves to wear daily, and to wear only in winter with this kind of weather we have here now; tiny bit below 0'C. Also I storage here some of my leather bags. I Only have a few leather bags because I don't switch of bag so often. Just have a few different shapes and colors. Also you'll find here my floppy hats (3x) and some Rilakkuma's. I also storage my Rilakkuma stickers in that Rilakkuma hanger, I was out of ideas :D
Left door
Yes this is full and I still have laundry to do. So from top shelf to bottom shelf and from left to right. I have 4 or 5 piles on each shelf. The first pile behind the wall were you only see a little part from are my super thick knitted sweaters and cardigans for super cold winters (-10 'C) The next pile are summer shorts, spring pants and jeans skirts. The next pile are colored pants and the next pile are all sorts of jeans. Also on the last 3 piles on the top are some little piles of sweaters and cardigans. I didn't have space for a pile of thin winter clothes for 0'C weather.
On the first pile on the next shelf you can't see but there is my pj pile with my Rilakkuma and geisha pj's and nightgowns. The second pile are my cardigans, thin and medium thickness. The next pile are my basic tops; always wear tops under everything! Then the next pile are my tshirts and long sleeves combined. The last pile are some of my leggings and a big black cardigan on top.
Right door
This is where I storage everything that can't be folded or are too precious to be folded. But how do I explain this closet lol :) Well let's go from left to right. On the very left there where you can't see are my Victorian nightgown and my pretty evening dresses. Then you see a brown leather skirt. then you have some long maxi dresses with different styles; Bohemian, basics, khaleesi inspired, new age etc. Then there are some shirts in bohemian style and then there are my 3 silk shirts (white, blue and pink). No where come to my skirts which are a maxi blue skirt and then some shorts skirts which I recently bought for spring (one in black with pink flowers) and more colors. The next items are a few cotton cardigans in blue and beige and after that there comes the flowy tops in all kinds of colors. We've passed the middle yay! Some more shirts and then my light colored shirts and blouses. That was a big step, on to the jackets I've got some fake leather jackets of there and a few denim jackets and blouses (behind the wall) The further behind the wall are some burgundy shirts I didn't really wore this winter and not planning too. I love me some pink because I'm longing for spring
No I'm not going to show all my shoes right now, that's bit too much! But you may request that for a future blogpost if you want to see :) Just going to tell you about the most common shoes for me to pick for an everyday look. on the left in front, my Leather black boots that walk so soft! In the middle my New Look leather ankle boots that walk like heaven! And then my new H&M leather ankle boots. In the back you some sneakers these are my Esprit wedge sneakers in black (also have those in beige) And my Yeswalker flats that are too cold for now, but just standing there :)
Oh Oh
So the confession is.. I have too much and I need more space. I just can't say no to clothes. Honestly I'm not a fashion guru or how you say it and going with all the trends. I have my own style and there is a lot of variety in there. Also I'm not a person that throws away good clothes because they maybe are not trendy anymore. Pff so what I'm not trendy, I have my own trend! ;) Also just bought some crop tops from last year's spring fashion because they looked cute! I throw away fashion when I hate it and will hate it forever or it's dead.
But the worst of it all... I have more laundry to do. Then I'm talking about a basket with raspberry colored clothes, a basket with green clothes and multi colored stuff! So I need to clear out some room in another closet fast before I'm covered in fashion!
Btw tomorrow I'm getting a new package from H&M at my doorstep YAY!
How do you deal with your fashion crave?!

subset: commoncrawl


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2018 F-150 SuperCrew Cab, Pickup (Stock #18F225)
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Ferman is Family Owned and Operated, Serving Tampa Bay since 1895, F-150 XLT, 4D SuperCrew, EcoBoost 2.7L V6 GTDi DOHC 24V Twin Turbocharged, 10-Speed… , RWD, Lead Foot, Black, 4-Wheel Disc Brakes, 6 Speakers, ABS brakes, Air Conditioning, AM/FM radio, Brake assist, CD player, Compass, Delay-off headlights, Driver door bin, Driver vanity mirror, Dual front impact airbags, Dual front side impact airbags, Electronic Stability Control, Front anti-roll bar, Front Center Armrest w/Storage, Front fog lights, Front reading lights, Front wheel independent suspension, Fully automatic headlights, Illuminated entry, Low tire pressure warning, MP3 decoder, Occupant sensing airbag, Outside temperature display, Overhead airbag, Panic alarm, Passenger door bin, Passenger vanity mirror, Power steering, Power windows, Radio data system, Radio: AM/FM Stereo/Single-CD Player, Rear reading lights, Remote keyless entry, Security system, Speed control, Split folding rear seat, Steering wheel mounted audio controls, SYNC, Traction control, Variably intermittent wipers, Voltmeter, Wheels: 17 Silver Painted Aluminum.26/20 Highway/City MPG Not all customers qualify for all rebates. Price includes. : $750 - Special Package Bonus Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018, $300 - EcoBoost Bonus Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018, $750 - Retail Bonus Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018, $2,250 - Retail Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018, $750 - Ford Credit Retail Bonus Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018, $1,500 - Bonus Customer Cash. Exp. 07/09/2018
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Twin Turbo Regular Unleaded V-6 2.7 L/164
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- Split Bench Seat
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Destruction of the command center of ISIS in Fallujah terror bombing
Friday 3 June 2016-12:52 pm
Military information cell said the destruction of the command center of ISIS in Fallujah in the international coalition warplanes bombardment, killing dozens and military organization elements Prince who called balanghmasiin.
Military information cell said in a statement received Marbad, Coalition aircraft, today, an air strike in Fallujah resulted in the destruction of the command center of the guerrilla terrorist Islamic State to the main entrance of the tunnel network in the Po region of Byblos and that extends to the Shuhada neighborhood in the city, "indicating that" the operation was carried out based on accurate intelligence.
She added that the air strike also killed Prince called the new military mandate of Fallujah and dozens are named alanghamasin who were in a meeting place "," Finally the bodies still now urges the ruins and trying out the Islamic State to gangs by jacks and they are horrified.


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Celebrate & Elevate 2018: A Toast to Women in Communications
Presenting the Matrix Awards, Wednesday, June 6, 2018
In celebration of outstanding achievements in the communications profession, Celebrate & Elevate: A Toast to Women in Communications is our big night! This is the perfect opportunity to connect with your peers, honor our winners' accomplishments and celebrate the hard work we've all done this year. Expect inspiration, a great time and a relaxing summer evening on the waterfront.
AWC Detroit will honor three outstanding communicators with the prestigious 2018 Matrix Awards.
Join us at the beautiful lakefront WaterMark restaurant in St. Clair Shores on June 6. We've designed this year's event to give you lots of time to network, so plan to join us and meet new friends, make connections, and catch up with cherished colleagues at this special event.
Silent Auction – Snag one of our exciting silent auction items! You can own a "Paloma," an impeccable luxury handbag from Christian Louboutin valued at $1,950! The silent auction proceeds will support our literacy advocacy program and help us maintain value-priced tickets for chapter programs.
Informal Afterglow – Gather for drinks following dessert on the WaterMark outdoor deck overlooking the marina.
2018 Matrix Award Winners
Headliner Award: The Headliner Award salutes the outstanding personal and professional achievements of a prominent AWC Detroit Chapter member.
Denise A. Gray-Felder, APR, Chief Communications Officer, Michigan Medicine, leads a 40 person team responsible for PR, marketing, social media, digital arts, web presence, and physician and consumer communication. Her headlining accomplishments in 2017 included implementation of the University of Michigan Health System's rebranding as Michigan Medicine. She also championed leading enhancements to the system's web presence with the addition of the Michigan Health Lab site that showcases research discoveries and the Michigan Health Blog that disseminates "news you can use" to the public. As former president/CEO of the Communication for Social Change Consortium, she worked globally to help people living in poor communities lift their voices, stories, ideas, and beliefs to influence change. Denise was also the youngest and first black woman National President of the AWC organization. Learn more…
Diamond Award: Recognizes communications and programs that advocate for improving the image and well-being of women in society.
Robin Kinnie, founder and CEO of Motor City Woman, an internet-based radio station and broadcasting/recording studio that supports women entrepreneurs and encourages women to pursue audio engineering careers. Motor City Woman offers an array of shows, expert guests, discussions on issues from a woman's perspective and the resources for growth in all areas of life. She was selected to launch the Detroit Chapter of Soundgirls.org, a national organization focused on increasing the number of women audio engineers. She not only concentrates on representation of women behind the microphone but also behind the audio board. Learn more…
Vanguard Award: Honors an individual or organization for innovatively employing a communications medium.
Jackie Berg is the founder & owner of Bridges Communications Group, a multicultural media company that publishes TheHUB, has a 20-year custom publishing history and develops award-winning minority marketing campaigns. TheHUB's multimedia platforms were created to give city residents and supporters a dedicated voice and space to discuss the real issues surrounding viable city neighborhoods. TheHUB now has outlets in Detroit and Flint focusing on hyper-local neighborhood news.
She leads efforts to champion multicultural collaboration, affordable housing and emerging neighborhood leadership. Jackie is an unabashed cheerleader of collaborative partnerships and urban-corporate initiatives that contribute to stability in city neighborhoods. Learn more…
Attend Celebrate & Elevate 2018 and be inspired!
Thank you to our event sponsors!
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