text:
News: Scryfall acquires MagicCards.Info.
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Please refer to the Magic: The Gathering Rules : Wizards of the Coast page if you are in doubt.
These rules are effective as of August 25, 2017.
This document is designed for people who've moved beyond the basics of the Magic: The Gathering® game. If you're a beginning Magic™ player, you'll probably find these rules intimidating. They're intended to be the ultimate authority for the game, and you won't usually need to refer to them except in specific cases or during competitive games.
For casual play and most ordinary situations, you'll find what you need in the Magic: The Gathering basic rules. You can download a copy of the basic rules PDF from the Wizards of the Coast® Magic rules website at Magic.Wizards.com/Rules. If you're sure this is where you want to be, keep reading.
This document includes a series of numbered rules followed by a glossary. Many of the numbered rules are divided into subrules, and each separate rule and subrule of the game has its own number. (Note that subrules skip the letters "l" and "o" due to potential confusion with the numbers "1" and "0"; subrule 704.5k is followed by 704.5m, then 704.5n, then 704.5p, for example.)
We at Wizards of the Coast recognize that no matter how detailed the rules, situations will arise in which the interaction of specific cards requires a precise answer. If you have questions, you can get the answers from us at Wizards.com/CustomerService. Additional contact information is on the last page of these rules.
In response to play issues and to keep these rules as current as possible, changes may have been made to this document since its publication. You can download the most recent version from the Magic rules website at Magic.Wizards.com/Rules.
Magic: The Gathering Original Game Design: Richard Garfield
Comprehensive Rules Design and Development: Paul Barclay, Mark L. Gottlieb, Beth Moursund, Bill Rose, and Matt Tabak, with contributions from Charley Catino, John Carter, Elaine Chase, Laurie Cheers, Stephen D'Angelo, Dave DeLaney, Brady Dommermuth, Mike Donais, Skaff Elias, Mike Elliott, Richard Garfield, Dan Gray, Robert Gutschera, Collin Jackson, William Jockusch, Jeff Jordan, Yonemura Kaoru, Russell Linnemann, Jim Lin, Steve Lord, Sheldon Menery, Michael Phoenix, Mark Rosewater, David Sachs, Lee Sharpe, Eli Shiffrin, Henry Stern, Donald X. Vaccarino, Thijs van Ommen, Ingo Warnke, Tom Wylie, and Bryan Zembruski
Editing: Del Laugel (lead), Glenn Jones, Nat Moes, and Matt Tabak
Magic Rules Management: Eli Shiffrin
The Magic: The Gathering game was designed by Richard Garfield, with contributions from Charley Catino, Skaff Elias, Don Felice, Tom Fontaine, Jim Lin, Joel Mick, Chris Page, Dave Pettey, Barry "Bit" Reich, Bill Rose, and Elliott Segal. The mana symbols were designed by Christopher Rush.
Thanks to all our project team members and the many others too numerous to mention who have contributed to this product.
These rules are effective as of August 25, 2017.
Published by Wizards of the Coast LLC, PO Box 707, Renton, WA 98057-0707, USA. Wizards of the Coast, Magic: The Gathering, Magic, Oracle, Arabian Nights, Antiquities, Homelands, Exodus, Odyssey, Mirrodin, Kamigawa, Ravnica: City of Guilds, Time Spiral, Future Sight, Lorwyn, Shadowmoor, Zendikar, Scars of Mirrodin, Innistrad, Return to Ravnica, Khans of Tarkir, Magic Origins, Shadows over Innistrad, Eldritch Moon, and Magic: The Gathering—Conspiracy are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the USA and other countries. ©2017 Wizards. U.S. Pat. No. RE 37,957.


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SOURCE: NetEnrich
February 16, 2017 06:00 ET
Among IT professionals using the popular cloud infrastructure platform, the vast majority (67%) will leverage MSPs for migration to or management of their Microsoft Azure instances
Among IT professionals using the popular cloud infrastructure platform, the vast majority (67%) will leverage MSPs for migration to or management of their Microsoft Azure instances
SAN JOSE, CA--(Marketwired - Feb 16, 2017) - NetEnrich, the cloud and IT operations services company, announces results of a survey on Microsoft Azure. The survey, which ran online in January, was completed by 80+ IT professionals in large and midmarket companies. A key takeaway was that Azure use is high -- 46% of respondents are running at least half of their IT infrastructure and workloads on Microsoft's cloud service -- and companies are relying on channel providers to help them achieve various business and technical benefits.
Despite hefty competition in the public cloud infrastructure space, Microsoft's Azure unit realized revenue of $6.9 billion in the last quarter, and Microsoft estimates Azure compute usage more than doubling year over year, according to some reports. NetEnrich is a Microsoft Technology Partner for Azure. The firm has hundreds of partners that white label and leverage NetEnrich to support more than 1,400 end-clients, including top brands. Its partners include top distributors such as Ingram Micro, Tech Data, Westcon, Softbank (Japan), and Synnex.
Many survey respondents cited channel companies as key to their use of and success with Microsoft Azure. Sixty-seven percent said they were "very likely" to engage a Managed Services Provider (MSP) in the next year to migrate to Azure or to manage their cloud and/or on-premises environment. The top benefit of working with a MSP to manage Azure was security, backups, disaster recovery planning and protection (72%). The second biggest benefit was discovery and inventory of IT resources (65%), followed by assessment of cost and ROI and to develop a cloud roadmap (59%). Meanwhile, 63% of respondents prefer to work with small, nimble service providers or individual consultants.
Other key findings from the NetEnrich 2017 Microsoft Azure Survey include:
"Microsoft Azure is clearly growing its position in the public cloud market as companies of all sizes look to modernize infrastructure, deploy new services quickly and reduce costs," says Justin Crotty, Senior VP and GM for Channel Sales & Marketing at NetEnrich. "We're hearing this from our channel partners all the time. Their customers are moving aggressively to public cloud and they need support from partners to migrate and manage workloads and applications. We're able to help distributors, resellers and MSPs by getting them trained on best practices for setting up, monitoring and managing Azure instances."
About NetEnrich
NetEnrich combines industrialized services and a proprietary automation platform to deliver IT infrastructure, operations, and security management services from on-premise to cloud. NetEnrich is also a Microsoft technology partner specializing in accelerating deployment, migration and management of application workloads on Azure. Our approach to IT operations and security reduces costs, mitigates risk, provides control and drives innovation. NetEnrich has five global delivery centers, is headquartered in Silicon Valley, California, and is a Gartner 2015 Cool Vendor. To learn more about NetEnrich, visit www.netenrich.com.
Media contact:
Kevin Wolf
(650) 327-1641Email Contact
Media contact:
Kevin Wolf
(650) 327-1641Email Contact
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subset: commoncrawl


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Are You A Believer?
#1 Guest_Silent Walker_*
Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:43 AM
Please vote and lets see the breakdown....
Posted 25 April 2008 - 11:01 AM
I believe there are paranormal things, but I think many of them are not what they are commonly thought to be.
Posted 25 April 2008 - 08:52 PM
I believe there are paranormal things, but I think many of them are not what they are commonly thought to be.
I tend to agree. I think there are paranormal things but they're alot rarer than people might think. I believe a big proportion of things have natural explanations but alot of people jump straight to the paranormal explanation..e.g Most Haunted!
Posted 26 April 2008 - 05:32 AM
Posted 26 April 2008 - 06:32 AM
Posted 26 April 2008 - 10:07 AM
Posted 27 April 2008 - 04:43 PM
Thanks to SilentWalker for the great sig
Posted 28 April 2008 - 10:05 AM
Created by Silent Walker
Posted 28 April 2008 - 03:16 PM
Posted 28 April 2008 - 10:32 PM
That about sums me up as well!
Posted 29 April 2008 - 05:08 AM
I'm with you on Most haunted and Paranormal State, but TAPS has some great evidence, lots of shadow person captures on video and EVP's, plus objects moving by themselves on film. I'm not a TAPS fanboy by any means, but I respect the hell out of them
Posted 29 April 2008 - 06:01 AM
this fits me to.
Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:40 AM
There are some things they find i'll believe. But the manson murder episode with Flemming and his K-II meter not at all. Or the shadow person in the prison that moved towards the camera. I didn't know shadow people wore tennis shoes. The statue they tried to pass off as a shadow person. Or the heat relfection on the locker.
The best evidence i ever seen them catch was the chair in the coastguard light house that moved. After the manson episode I statred to question what TAPS called evidence. Then the WWE stars sealed the deal. To me. The 1st two season were the best. They debunked and didn't call every where haunted just cause of a EVP you can barely make out. But i still watch for a laugh. Its a shame they ran Brian off. He made the show funny. "DUDE RUN! DUDE!"
Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:59 AM
There was the recent one where the picture on grants nightstand was captured moving, the glass on jasons nightstand, the shadow figure at the end of a hall at another prison.asylum, the one from a year or so ago where the little shadow dude was caught running behing the table, and of coure the best IMO...the St Augustine lighthouse, with the entity in video, and you could actually hear the voice out loud
Posted 29 April 2008 - 06:54 PM
Posted 29 April 2008 - 07:01 PM
I m with you on that. I think alot of the shows are cooked up to get ratings.
Posted 02 May 2008 - 04:13 AM
Watching the night come in from the window
It'll all collapse tonight, the full moon is here again.
Posted 06 May 2008 - 08:56 AM
I believe there are paranormal things, but I think many of them are not what they are commonly thought to be.
Like Vlawde, I'm a believer, however, I'm also probably the biggest skeptic. I think 99 % of paranormal things have a logical explanation.
So, since I agree with Vlawde so much, can I be the grumpy old woman ?
Posted 07 May 2008 - 01:29 AM
Posted 07 May 2008 - 06:37 AM
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Luisa Cevese's Remnant Bags
Not long ago we filled you in on la tessitura's innovations in textile salvaging. But the Como company is not the only Italian re-use pioneer of note. We have to remember Luisa Cevese. Ages ago, when we told you about her Riedizioni line of reclaimed textile waste handbags, the primary way to buy her stuff online was to order it from Milan. Now you can get her iPod cases, pouches, coin purses and totes at the MoMA online store. Lucky! :: MoMA


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Along with the Autumnal Equinox, the arrival of Fall, comes the start of the final quarter of the calendar year and an opportunity to take a look back at the first nine months and maybe make a few little adjustments in how we wend our way through life.
While we may look at spring as a time of rebirth, of the blossoming of life, fall is a time to put things away, keep them safe for next year. In winter, we sleep, in spring we come to life, so in fall we prepare for that sleep, that rejuvenation.
In the foothills of the eastern Sierra Nevada stand great forests of aspen, covered with multitudes of leaves, all dancing as a gossamer ballerina. And if one has the time and inclination, one can sit on the moist ground, nay, lie on the moist ground, and feel the coolness of autumn begin. Sun's rays not quite as intense, twilight coming just a bit sooner each day, and soon the leaves don spectacular colors, slowly, slowly, until entire hillsides seem to be burning in their glory. When one narrows one's eyes, a furious kaleidoscope jitterbugs merrily about.
In other parts of this broad country of ours, hardwoods are making the same preparations, but in the Sierra Nevada, the performance is left for aspen trees. If one looks close, one will see the names of Basque sheepherders carved into white trunks, names of the men that came through various regions a century and more ago. Their names and those of sweethearts waiting in the flatlands below are testaments of, maybe to, love. In today's less romantic times, it would be called graffiti.
Spring comes to the high country very late, and now, September, wild flowers, some just recently able to bloom in the cold sun, are preparing for their long nap; bears are filling themselves with the largest bowls of porridge they can find; birds have taught their fledges the theory of flight; and I'm waiting for that first brilliant yellow or orange leaf. I will pick it up from its grand descent, savor its beauty, tuck it in my pack, and press its beauty on my return home. The color will last, I know, and I'll spend many hours this winter inspecting treasures like this.
Gathering a basketful or two of aspen leaves before the snow falls will give my holiday table color and vibrancy, a warmth to welcome friends and relatives to my bounty. Fall brings berries if you can get them before the bears and other colorful pieces of vegetation, some that can be eaten, others that simply decorate in high art fashion. Don't forget the pine cones for the fireplace.
That falling, trembling leaf will be my signal, a sign that the world is OK, that bombs have not fallen on me or mine, that I can make myself as ready for old Jack Frost as yon squirrel. No one has fallen through the hole in the ozone layer, none reported anyway; weapons of mass destruction have not rained on my parade; I can make my hearth ready; put three dogs on my bed; and create a pot of soup that will last the winter.
Two pots actually. One will be soup with all the leftovers that will fit under the lid, the other, beans simmering in a concoction of chilies, meats, tomatoes, onions, and garlic, added to as the need arises, both lasting until spring thaw.
There is a special joy to fall, autumn, at the lower elevations, that period following an equinox, but following labor's special day here in the high country, a thin, broad, cold sky, can bring the joys of autumn overnight. One day, mid 80s, that night, below freezing. Next morning, brilliantly lit aspen leaves.
If wood for one's warmth hasn't been cut yet, it's too late, chum. If berries haven't been picked and fruit pulped into jam, it won't happen now. Meat should be smoked or salted or frozen, for waiting past this point will not bring any more than you've harvested, bought, or acquired. And that hole in the roof or step that's missing? The coming snow will remind you daily of those missed summer chores until thaw, six months yonder, at yet another equinox.
Fall is a time of wonder. I wonder if I'm ready. I wonder at the beauty. I wonder I've made this many. I wonder when that damn leaf will finally fall.
Gotta go now. As always, read good books and stay regular.


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Monday, September 5, 2011
Save Your Pennies: Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection Review
Mortal Kombat fans have been waiting years to see the original trilogy released on the current generation of systems. They may want to hold their breaths a little while longer, though. The recently released Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection has got some major baggage.
Earlier this Spring, I got my first up-close look at the recent Mortal Kombat reboot. The game had a large presence at PAX East 2011, including a huge logo banner hung from the ceiling, and a NetherRealm employee showing off the fatalities on a giant 3D TV. After challenging, and beating, Rock to a 3 round bloodfest atop a reimagined Pit II, I was sold.
Mortal Kombat released in May, and has been one of the few games I've bought in its week of release this year. I had a lot of fun with it, and it included a phenomenal amount of depth and extras that you rarely find in a fighting game. It also features every single character from Mortal Kombat 1, 2, and 3. You know, the good ones. The ones you care about.
This past week, in what seems like a bizarre case of delayed promotion for the new Mortal Kombat, Warner Bros. has rereleased those 3 classics in The Mortal Kombat Arcade Kollection. I can only assume that this was meant to launch in the weeks leading up to MK's release earlier this year, and was delayed for some reason.
The Kollection should be a MK fan's dream come true, but unfortunately falls short in almost every conceivable way. The menu screen features nice rotating views of the arcade cabinets for Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat II, and Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. It's a shame however, that there is no sort of history provided for the games, beyond tiny trivia bits in the loading screens.
Once you launch one of the titles, there are no load times, and the games themselves are billed as being "arcade perfect" ports. It's a shame then, that there are such annoying things as audio hiccups, de-syncs, and downright replacement sound files in some cases. Other annoying oversights players have come across include characters such as Human Smoke being unable to be unlocked, and achievements not unlocking in the XBLA version.
From a gameplay perspective, things are alright. The D-pad on 360 controllers can be a bit touchy, though, more so than the new MK. All the characters, backgrounds, and special moves appear as you remember them, with some filters provided for smoothing out the jagged edges, if you're into that sort of thing. Truth be told, these are merely prettied up ROM dumps, and you probably already know if you're into these games or not.
From all reports, the online system is downright broken. The only game people seem to be having any luck with online is Mortal Kombat 1, and that game is almost unenjoyably outdated at this point. Word on the street is that there is a patch in the works, and hopefully that will address some of these concerns.
These games revolutionized a lot in the world of video games. The ESRB was created out of concerns of their life-like violence, major Hollywood movies were spun off, and the series has continued to include 9 major releases, up to the rebooted Mortal Kombat. It's a shame that more time wasn't invested into these classics, and I cannot recommend this purchase to anyone at this time. Truth be told, you're better off downloading the ROMS for MAME emulators, and saving the $10. Once this patch is released, the Arcade Kollection might be worth a second look, but for now I'd tell you to vote with your wallets and hold off on your purchase.
Original Games: 4/5
Arcade Kollection, as of this writing: 2/5
Christopher Linendoll once owned the 32x version of Mortal Kombat II. Good times.
5 comments:
Shame about this collection, although I was never the biggest of MK fans (grew up on the Street Fighter 2), it would have been nice to see the trilogy available to the younger generations.ReplyDelete
Down with mk! Long live street fighter!ReplyDelete
I have never performed a single fatality. Not once...ReplyDelete
Fatalities are the true reason to play.ReplyDelete
Unfortunately I forgot all of them from the olde Genesis days
- AnonymousSeptember 6, 2011 at 5:50 PM
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I beg your pardon, Mr. President?
You, Donald J. Trump, need to acquaint yourself with the document you took an oath to defend and protect. Then again, you've heard that call already from many of your critics.
And yet your supporters seem to give you a pass for the ignoramus-sounding statements you keep making while you bitch about the media doing their job.
Your statement about being "disgusted" that the media can report certain things is utterly, completely and profoundly ignorant. How's that? Well, that silly ol' First Amendment allows a "free press" to report without any government interference, bullying or coercion.
It's in there. Honest, Mr. President.
And what's with this nutty notion of wanting to loosen libel laws, to make it easier for people on whom the media report to sue the media for damages. Most states make it difficult to prove libel for a reason. They establish truth as an absolute defense for those being sued.
The press can write "whatever it wants," Mr. President? That's what disgusts you? The media do a pretty good job of policing themselves already. They have "outed" many reporters over many years who have reported falsely. Do the names Jason Blair and Janet Cooke, to name just two, ring a bell with you? They were caught reporting bogus news stories and essentially booted from the profession.
I write all this, Mr. President, as someone who toiled as a journalist for nearly 37 years. I didn't get to cover the presidency directly. I harvested my share of hard feelings, though, from public officials I've reported on or offered commentary regarding their activities. I've managed to remain humble enough over the years, never taking myself more seriously than my craft.
Many other journalists fall into the same category of individuals who seek to do their jobs to the best of their ability.
They don't need any bullying from the president of the United States. In fact, the Constitution of the United States would appear to prohibit you from doing what you are trying to do.
So, with all due respect, Mr. President … knock it off!


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Available Master topics: Software Engineering
Strength training is gaining popularity thanks to proven benefits due to an increase of the athlete's muscular mass. In order to help athletes perform a correct strength training, some devices, like the T-Force Dynamic Measurement System [1] have appeared.
Displays in cyber physical systems in the outdoors must adapt to a wide variety of environmental conditions such as sunlight, rain, shock, and limited battery life to name a few.
Software thrives when its part of a socio-technical system. In Norway, one such socio-technical system is that of the cervical cancer screening program for women in the age group 25-69 years.
Can I play a board game with friends and help solve a complex scientific problem or acheive social mobilization? This is the general question that intrigues us. Lets take a look at social mobilization.
The master theses will develop an energy-efficient algorithm for computing ventilation- and lactate-thresholds based on real-time respiration data. The respiration is measured using a chest-belt that is worn around an athlete's chest, similar to a heart-rate belt.
The master theses relates to accurately computing respiration from measurement done by use of a chest-belt. The computation should be based on measurement of the change in tension, or strain, of a belt worn around the chest of a athlete.


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Although the implementation of e-governance is one of the priorities in Ukraine, statistics show that public awareness about what the e-governance sphere encompasses is relatively low. According to the KMIS survey requested by the EGAP program in pilot oblasts, only 26% of respondents said they understand what electronic governance is. This figure is certainly higher among civil servants as well as government and local self-governance officials, although the situation requires improvement. One of the tasks of the EGAP program is achieving improvement in this area by implementing new education programs for different target groups in order to implement e-governance into the education landscape and implement modern tools providing access to training on e-governance for civil servants, government and local self-governance officials, as well as for students, non-governmental organizations, and other stakeholders.
It is currently very important to implement training programs which would significantly improve the knowledge and skills level and systematize civil servants' and citizens' general knowledge of the essence of e-governance, its constituent elements, and related processes.


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Television Review – Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return
Mystery Science Theater 3000 – Season 11 (Netflix; 2017)
The revival season of cult geek-comedy television classic Mystery Science Theater 3000, available since mid-April on Netflix, seems fortuitously timed. Its core concept – mad scientists imprison a jumpsuited factory grunt on an orbital satellite and attempt to pickle his brain with awful movies, to which the average Joe(l) (or Mike, or Jonah) responds by endearingly mocking the bad films with the help of two snarky robots to avoid losing his mind – could be considered a metaphor for cultural survivalism in the post-capitalist news-cycle madness of 2017. There's an ongoing debate as to whether left-leaning political and cultural snark on television and the internet is an effective form of resistance to the reactionary ideology represented by Donald Trump. Whatever effect (or lack thereof) mockery has had on his election campaign and presidency, laughing at Trump, despite its ease, is undeniably cathartic for those who disagree with him and all that he represents.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (or MST3K to its Silent Majority of dedicated acolytes, known as MSTies) is just such an outlet for comforting catharsis. Laughing at sincerely terrible movies might seem like punching down, but the MST3K model has always carried a measure of disrespect for authority and more than a faint shadow of anti-capitalist sentiment. The concept punctures the faux-mystique around cinema by violating its holiest commandment: Thou Shalt Not Talk in the Theatre. From the breaking of this cultural taboo follow small rebellions against the regard for filmmakers and actors, the suspension of disbelief at hackneyed premises and unconvincing special effects, the acceptance of nonsensical plotting and stilted dialogue; in short, against the very spurious claims to authority undergirding the producers-consumers compact that is the foundation of commercial capitalism. This is the bedrock of MST3K's trademarked "riffs", which frequently spiral off into obscure references, topical jokes, and timeless observational humour in an unpredictable, often giddy manner. But it is also the bedrock for a generalized MST3K philosophy: the world is a mad place and it's out to chew you up and rob you blind, and the only way to make sense of it is to laugh at it.
MST3K originally aired between 1988 and 1999, beginning on public access television in Minneapolis, Minnesota, moving to an embryonic Comedy Central (then known as the Comedy Channel), shifting to the Sci-Fi Channel (now Syfy), and even finding its way to the very movie theatres it treated with such good-natured disrespect with a feature film in 1996 (which was my own inculcation to the franchise and still, for my money, one of the funniest movies ever made). The brainchild of comedian Joel Hodgson, who also starred as its first host/human experimental subject, the low-budget show's core scenes took place in a simulated cinema through an effect known as "Shadowrama", with black silhouettes of the host, the robots, and a row of theatre seats superimposed at the base of the "projected" movie (inspired by an image in the liner notes of Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road album). This allowed for not only the flood of verbal riffs but also elements of performance and even visual gags in "interaction" with the movie. To break up this central motif, various sketches would be interspersed around the commercial breaks, featuring the host and the robots, as well as the so-called "Mads" via videolink.
Hodgson left the show after its fifth season, replaced thereafter as host by head writer Mike Nelson, who also headlined MST3K: The Movie. The voices of the robots, the gumball-machine-like mock-sophisticate Tom Servo and gold-clad Groucho Marx-esque Crow T. Robot, also changed during the decade-long run, as did the actors playing the Mads. A certain Joel vs. Mike schism has thus developed in the fan and critical reception of the show, with some fans preferring Joel's laid-back, ironical style and preference for prop-based humour and others going to bat for Mike's more aggressive zingers.
This split has likewise transfered into similarly-pitched post-MST3K projects headed by Hodgson and Nelson and featuring former cast members. Nelson produces and sells online-distributed audio-only comedic commentaries to accompany legal copies of movies (B-movie, Hollywood blockbuster, and otherwise) known as RiffTrax with longtime Tom Servo voice actor Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, who played Crow near the end of the show's run. Hodgson, meanwhile, started a (now discontinued) live movie-riffing tour with accompanying DVDs, which he called Cinematic Titanic, with Trace Beaulieu (a core cast member who played head Mad Dr. Clayton Forrester and voiced Crow up until the final three Sci-Fi Channel seasons), Frank Conniff (Forrester's sidekick, TV's Frank), Mary Jo Pehl (Pearl Forrester, Clayton's mad-scientist mother), and J. Elvis Weinstein (the first Tom Servo).
With this in mind, the new season of MST3K, largely funded via public donations on Kickstarter (over $5.7 million was raised, a record for the service's Film & Video section) and distributed by Netflix, is most certainly a Joel Hodgson production. Hodgson directs all 14 episodes of the new season, is on the writing staff (along with head writer Elliott Kalan, Jon Stewart's former head writer on The Daily Show), makes disguised on-camera appearances, and his sensibility lurks behind the return of the prop-heavy Invention Exchange sketches and other practical effects. Pehl, Corbett, and Murphy also have cameos, but other than that, The Return is marked by a near-total turnover of on-camera talent. The new human subject is Jonah Heston (Jonah Ray), with new voice actors for Tom Servo (Baron Vaughn), Crow (Hampton Yount), and female robot Gypsy (Rebecca Hanson). The Mads have also turned over, with Felicia Day as Kinga, the new scion of the Forrester mad-scientist clan, and Patton Oswalt as Max (a.k.a. TV's Son of TV's Frank). Jonah's prison home, the Satellite of Love, now orbits Kinga's lunar base, Moon 13, which features a house band, the Skeleton Crew, that doubles as Kinga's minions.
Hodgson and his team filmed the new season in Los Angeles rather than the prior 10 seasons' production base of Minneapolis, and have a far more generous budget to work with. The sci-fi accoutrements of the filmed sketch segments retain a low-budget aesthetic nonetheless, but technical advances are more evident in the theatre: Tom Servo is now able to fly, opening up any number of new visual gags with his hovering silhouette on the movie screen; Crow has visible legs, and moves around the theatre more as well; and even Gypsy, her robotic head suspended at the end of a thick cable, pops into the theatre with a zinger or two each episode (she had previously only riffed along for a brief time in a 4th season episode). The intermission segments, though no longer strictly required on commercial-free Netflix, are retained as respites, often featuring high-wattage guest star spots (by Mark Hamill, Jerry Seinfeld, Joel McHale and Neil Patrick Harris), limited long-form storytelling (Kinga decides late in the season to grab at bigger ratings by marrying Jonah), and striking faux-cardboard cut-out comedy sequences. These segments even provided MST3K's first real meme of the viral video internet era, a hilarious rap rundown of international mythic monsters:
But Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is, has, and always will be defined by its riffing along to terrible movies, and it's the lion's share of each episode's running time inside the Mystery Science Theatre (its actual name, revealed in a faux-ad-break bumper) that defines its relative quality. The Return summons some real stinkburgers, and generally speaking, the riffs on these films performed by Ray, Vaughn, and Yount live up to the show's august geek legacy while adapting tone and material for a contemporary cultural setting that, thanks largely to the internet and the digitally-empowered discourse therein, has moved closer to MST3K's barrage of snarky comments than Hodgson must have thought possible back in the still-analog 1980s. For easier consumption, some point-form highlights follow:
- Episode 1 – "Reptilicus": The source episode of "Every Country Has a Monster", this awkwardly-pitched Danish monster rampage flick functions quite ably as a 90-minute assurance to fans that despite the space of years and near-total creative talent turnover, all will be well with MST3K. Featuring super-broad and eminently mockable comedy relief from Danish comic Dirch Passer, "Reptilicus" truly kicks into high cruddy-movie gear as the titular reptilian beast (shoddily executed as a model-scale rubber puppet) runs amok through the Danish countryside and finally in the centre of Copenhagen. The riffs ratchet up during this climax, too, and for me reach a comedic height that the rest of season struggles to match. One fancifully mock-informative behind-the-scenes detail riff from Servo (suggesting that model trees were made from sprigs of rosemary) had me on the floor.
- Episode 2 – "Cry Wilderness": Greeted by many viewers as a new MST3K classic, I found this movie's riffs funny enough but not always up to the genuine loopiness of the film itself. Focusing on a young boy with some sort of psychic link with Bigfoot (who quite enjoys Coke), Cry Wilderness also features repeated forced faux-jocularity laughter and two scenes with a Native-American mystic and his menagerie of animal familiars that looks and feels like something out of Jodorowsky.
- Episode 4 – "Avalanche": For me, the revival season's funniest episode. In this 1970s disaster flick, Rock Hudson (whose besweatered heftiness inspires a litany of jokes about a fondness for lunch buffets) stars as the owner and developer of a ski resort, with Mia Farrow as his ex-wife who visits just prior to the catastrophic titular snowslide. Dialogue-light scenes of furious action are always fine fodder for riffs, and the avalanche sequence in this episode might be the funniest sustained riff run of the season. Bonus points for holding off on the Woody Allen references re: Farrow until a fine extended joke in the final minutes, thus achieving maximum effect. Additionally, Neil Patrick Harris sings a song about online dating with Day (the two co-starred in Joss Whedon's cult series Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog) during one intermission but I didn't much like it.
- Episode 5 – "The Beast of Hollow Mountain": With the titular stop-motion beast held offscreen until late in the closing act, this 1956 Western set in Mexico is ribbed mercilessly for its blatant racial stereotypes and insensitive humourous treatment of alcoholism. MST3K at its most woke.
- Episode 6 – "Starcrash": An illogical, glacially-paced American-Italian space opera starring frizzy-haired former evangelical preacher Marjoe Gortner, buxom B-movie queen Caroline Munro, David Hasselhoff, and Christopher Plummer as the Emperor as the Universe, Starcrash has long been a hoped-for target of MST3K riffing among fans. Though the result generally doesn't disappoint, the riffing can't quite do the film's awful weirdness full justice. It does feature the season's non-kaiju-rap musical comedy high point, a Beach Boys parody called "Come Along Baby In My UFO", as well as a vaguely baffled Jerry Seinfeld cameo.
- Episode 7 – "The Land That Time Forgot": One of two Edgar Rice Burroughs spec-fic adaptations starring Doug McClure (the slightly-puffy B-movie star who was the primary model for the classic Simpsons character Troy McClure) this season, this nutty movie about a WWI German U-Boat taken over by Allied sailors that alights on a hidden prehistoric island edges out the season-ending "At The Earth's Core", despite the latter's eccentric English gentleman sidekick role for Peter Cushing.
- Episode 9 – "Yongary: Monster from the Deep": A Korean kaiju movie from the 1960s, "Yongary" features an annoying kid who dances with the rampaging monster shortly before the beast's climactic death throes, which are disturbingly, uncomfortably drawn out. Jonah and the bots' discomfort at Yongary's convincing, squirming agony summoned by the puppeteers pushes through the usual ironic detachment with just the right force.
- Episodes 10 & 11 – "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom I & II": Amateurish, filmed-in-the-woods sword-and-sorcery non-epics, each with different annoying kids, different vamping villains, and with low-budget kings Bo Svenson and David Carradine as different but equally-diffident legendary swordsmen who can barely be bothered to unsheath their blades. The first is better than the second, for MST3K purposes at least.
- Episode 12 – "Carnival Magic": A carnival-set sorta-drama starring a chimpanzee. Some funny stuff, but not enough good riff material to justify such a limp, incorrigibly incoherent movie choice. Good Mark Hamill cameo, though.
Overall, the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 revival is a welcome development, and sidles in alongside the revered previous seasons of the show with a reasonable claim to living up to its name. It's a snarky but generally good-natured comedic balm for political, social, and cultural times that are particularly discouraging for the species of insouciant subcultural smart-asses for whom the show is a shared talisman.
Donald Trump Wants his Worst Policies to Fail: An Unsupported but Plausible Line of Thought
I've never bought into the suspicious, nigh-on cleverer-than-thou American political observer line of thought that U.S. President Donald Trump is not dim-witted, incompetent, imprudent, or hopelessly led by impulse and instinct but is, in fact, strategically brilliant and always thinking several steps ahead of his critics and the media, laying down narratives in advance to distract their attention from real problems and reports less-favourable to him. When weighing the choice between genius and ineptitude to explain Trump and his team's seemingly haphazard and bumbling actions through the turbulent opening months of his Presidency, I'm generally inclined towards ineptitude on Occam's Razor grounds, at the very least.
With all of that being said, I think there could be a consistent case to be made that Trump and his Administration is allowing certain policy promises from his presidential campaign to fail, or at least they are curiously deigning not to lift more than a perfunctory short finger to battle on their cherished, America-greatening policies' behalf as they go down in flames. The case study for this argument is his notorious travel ban applied to citizens of
seven six Muslim countries. Struck down by federal judges after its sneak weekend application at the end of January created chaos and sparked indignant protests at airports across the U.S. and the globe, a watered-down version of the ban (which Trump's acolytes won't even openly acknowledge is a "ban") due to go into effect this week has also been blocked by federal courts in Hawaii and Maryland (at least partially on the basis of public statements by Trump lieutenants that the order, however it was worded, had specific religious discrimination at the forefront of its aims).
At the core of this argument, if you'll stay with me as I make it, is the hoary, cynical old theory that Donald Trump only wants to be President for the money and the fame. This thinking has often been dismissed, and has been largely abandoned by pundits since he won the election, but I think it might still hold, at least in this case.
You don't have to look very deeply or for very long at Trump's public political statements to conclude that he holds them rather lightly. At the risk of getting bogged down in the much-mocked "take him seriously, not literally" morass, it's clear that Trump very often just, you know, says things. He's firmly stated his position on matters and then just as firmly (and sometimes conveniently) forgotten that he ever stated that position. It's not that words don't matter when Donald Trump speaks them, but more so that they cease to matter to him very soon after he does. The man is fundamentally a serial bullshitter, but even the supposed core values beneath that surface-level bullshit are unstable and mercurial. Certain specific views remain consistent over the years (particularly, and revealingly, those related to race), but most are up for grabs at any given moment.
What is consistent throughout Trump's public adult (ha!) life is his shameless grifting and his bottomless gluttony for fame. His politics and even his party affiliations can and have changed depending on who he's trying to extract money or adulation or power and influence from at any given moment, but he's always trying to do that above all. This might be the reason why he liked campaigning so much, and why he retreats to campaign poses in times of political turmoil: ego-boosting rallies, plentiful money-making opportunities (from voters, donors, and from general brand exposure), and he could say whatever he liked without real or immediate concrete consequences.
Perhaps Trump thought it would be the same in office. It quite assuredly is not. The grifting continues, emoluments clause be damned: foreign dignitaries staying at his hotels, multiple weekends spent at his Mar-a-Lago resort club residence in Florida (which has recently raised membership fees, ostensibly due to the unspoken promise of access to the President), the purchase of items from his daughter Ivanka's clothing line marshalled as a right-wing political act, any number of potential hidden bribes and secret deals that are not transparent to the public, etc. But Trump hasn't gotten the adulation he feels that he deserves as President, though a man who launched his political career with nastily racist conspiracy theories casting doubt on the citizenship of the sitting President should know better than anyone that as many citizens hate the POTUS as love him, that respect for the office and its power and prestige in the abstract has rarely translated to concrete respect for the man who holds it. His (frankly worrying) choice of presidential model, Andrew Jackson, could have told him that.
More important for the purposes of this discussion than that, however, is that Trump's words, often lightly chosen and even more lightly supported by facts, have greater consequences now. His dashed-off, seat-of-his-pants tweets, the dramatic complaining tone of which endeared this sheltered Manhattan millionaire to his horde of loyal common supporters, are now the official pronouncement of the Leader of the Free World. However flippantly Trump is used to deploying words to his perceived advantage, they mean more now.
This new reality has implications for all of those outlandish promises Trump made during the campaign. Now, as President with Republican majorities in both houses of Congress, he's expected to deliver on them, or at least to make a concerted and honest effort to do so. How firm those expectations are is unclear, based in voter perspective and passion, the support of his party, and media pressure, among other factors. Whatever the impetus for or level of these expectations, one can imagine Trump having a despondent Sideshow Bob-ish reaction to how his flood of campaign words are understood now:
The issue could be immigration, where both the blocked Muslim ban and his central promise of a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border (paid for by Mexico) are proving to fall short, or health care, where the contentious and faltering Republican House bill to repeal Obamacare and replace it with a system that will cost needier patients more and cover millions fewer people flies in the face of his brash claims on the stump that he would deliver a health plan that would cover everyone. He can't, in these and many other cases, deliver on these brazen promises and even in his isolated bubble someone around him has surely told him that much.
This brings us to his Muslim travel ban, which has again been blocked again by federal courts. Trump has legal experts of some stripe around him; someone lawyerish crafted the executive order, after all. Perhaps one should assume simple ineptitude again, but surely an advisor or few must have known that the order would not pass legal muster. And, as Trump said in a speech in Tennessee given the same night as the news dropped of the new court order blocking the revised ban order, he wants to go back to the original ban order, which he preferred anyway. And, of course, which was already blocked in court and would, in unaltered form, certainly be blocked again if re-implemented.
Is the President just that dumb? Are his people that bad at finding ways to apply his harmful intended policies? Or is there an element of unwillingness at play, a disguised through-line of stealthy self-sabotage? Despite its basis in racist xenophobia (as close to a core belief as the ever-shifty Trump has), does he not really care that much about delivering on his Muslim ban promise? Or does he consider it only useful (or more useful) as source material for rousing rhetoric to please and rile up the xenophobic rubes in his support base? Judges block his ban so its messy consequences never come to pass. But Trump can still use the court order as a rhetorical cudgel against activist judges, the politically-correct institutions of the elite, the Washington consensus, sore-loser leftist protestors, etc. Specific initiatives fail, but the narrative endures. His political brand, Trump the besieged great man held down by limp-wristed snowflakes and corrupt technocratic global elites (but no anti-Semitism here, none of that, that is right out), endures.
This idea might furtively give Donald Trump some limited credit for secretly not wanting to prevent entry to the country for all Muslims from six countries (the original seven nations minus Iraq, likely removed from the order after bad press connected to Iraqi translators and other allies of U.S. forces in the country having visa troubles) for stated, dubious security-related reasons. But whether it's true or not (and it certainly might not be, or might only partly be), it focuses on the man's venality and irresponsibility in occupying the highest office in the U.S. Who cares about governing, it tells us, as long as Donald Trump is raking in the cash and the accolades of (a certain declining sliver of) the masses? True or not, this theory is plausible and well-grounded in Trump's personality and predilections, and that inherent aura of plausibility tells us nearly as much about this odd, troubling, greedy figure in emperor's robes as the actual truth would.
Documentary Quickshots #2
My Kid Could Paint That (2007; Directed by Amir Bar-Lev)
What is the Truth? Is there such a thing? What does it mean to us if there is, and what does it mean to us if there isn't? And can storytelling, be it painting or documentary film, brings us closer to it, or simply make it more distant, more obscure?
Amir Bar-Lev's My Kid Could Paint That asks all of these questions, openly or obliquely, and doesn't really answer any of them. It also asks, in much the same manner though not nearly as pointedly as Banksy's Exit Through the Gift Shop, if contemporary art isn't inherently a scam to separate pretentiously naive rich people from the money they don't really deserve to have in the first place. The subject through which these big, unresolved interrogatories are filtered is Marla Olmstead, a 4-year-old girl from Binghampton, New York who became a global celebrity in the early 2000s when her abstract paintings began selling for thousands, and eventually hundreds of thousands, of dollars. Almost as soon as her fame exploded via an eager American media, skepticism reared its head, the focal point of which was a 60 Minutes II report that documented and speculated about whether Marla made the paintings entirely herself, or if she had secret polishing help from her publicity-hungry father Mark, whose interest in painting apparently sparked her own.
Bar-Lev had unprecedented access to the Olmsteads during Marla's notoreity, which Marla's parents seem to have given him primarily because they believed that his film would be favourable to their daughter's practically impossible story. There's certainly never a hint that the Olmstead household is anything but a happy one, whether or not it's ground zero for a serious art fraud operation. Bar-Lev's doubts become open by the film's conclusion, which show a painful admission of his skepticism of Marla's sole artistship to her parents, as well as Marla specifically asking for her father's help in painting her latest work. Treated as a smoking gun of Mark's guilt in stage-managing his small daughter's career, it is far from definitive, though the father's desperately insistent attempt to minimize its meaning on a phone call afterwards gives immediate pause.
But Bar-Lev more subtly and effectively mines My Kid Could Paint That with notes of creeping suspicion prior to that point. There's the 60 Minutes II exposé, yes, but also Marla's inability to explain her artistic choices when asked (I mean, she is 4 years old, but a Mozart-esque child prodigy would be able to express some idea, no?), the frustrating lack of definitive filmed proof of her painting a work start to finish (at least that wasn't produced as marketing material by her family), and her art dealer's brazen meta-admission of his opinion that modern art is an obtuse scam that he, as a semi-successful photorealist painter and outsider, was glad to exploit to the advantage of his finances and reputation. The film leads you skillfully to its agnostic conclusions before it lays them out openly (and, honestly, a bit clumsily).
One idea My Kid Could Paint That circles around but doesn't key in on is how the story of Marla the 4-year-old painting prodigy preconditions reactions to her art, as well as sets its value. Exit Through the Gift Shop posited that the art world was so wrapped up in narrative and image, so disconnected from basic considerations of aesthetic quality or creative process, so awash in the irresponsibly-spent money of wealthy collectors with little clue about what makes art art, that a satirical ironist could lay bare its acquisitive hypocrisy by not only faking great art but indeed by faking the artist himself. My Kid Could Paint That posits something more profound and challenging, namely that it is not possible to tell real from fake in art, or even to begin to quantify or fathom what such a distinction might mean. Are the paintings of Marla Olmstead (now 16 years old!) great or interesting or valuable simply because they are painted by a preschooler, or despite of that (disputed) fact? How can we begin to answer either question, let alone sort one answer from the other?
Harmontown (2014; Directed by Neil Berkeley)
Far removed from the visual arts in practice, process, reception, and prestige, television comedy writing nonetheless has accrued a claim to direct access to Truth of serious, if not equivalent, dimensions. Dan Harmon, head writer and showrunner of the cult NBC sitcom Community and later co-creator of Adult Swim cult cartoon Rick and Morty, has received particular praise for not only his shows' sharp, conceptually complex humour but also their beating heart, their use of laughter to forge a tentative but unifying sense of belonging among misfits.
Still, the praise given to a writer of a TV show with a cult following (and the middling ratings and perennial threats of cancellation that go with that double-edge term of endearment) may not be entirely satisfying to the ravenous ego of a comedy genius. So it seems to be with Harmon, who was fired from Community after its third season due to conflicts, both creative and personal, with executives, fellow creative staff, and most infamously with one of the show's stars, Chevy Chase. Although Harmon returned to shepherd the show through the end of its run of six seasons (and, as one of the show's cherished catchphrases predicted, apparently a movie as well), the firing (although not his first; he was also canned by Sarah Silverman from his key position with her eponymous show, despite her admiration of his work) seems to have sparked an existential crisis for Harmon.
Harmontown depicts how he chose to work through those issues: first, with a weekly cult comedy podcast, and second, by taking that podcast on tour across the U.S. in the dead of winter. Harmontown doesn't sugar-coat its subject or depict him as any sort of brilliant or exceptional artist: Harmon procrastinates dangerously in delivering (unmade) pilot scripts to the CBS and Fox networks, drinks too much and is viciously critical of his live performances, and listens as his girlfriend discusses his rude behaviour. He's even consistently outshone onstage by the deadpan unpredictability of Spencer Crittenden, an anti-social fan who was worked into Harmontown as Dungeon Master to the Dungeons & Dragons games that end each episode/performance.
But the film is often hilarious and even moving when showing moments from his shows and meetings with fans afterwards. Like the NBC sitcom that never had enough viewers and seemed to kind of like it that way, the Harmontown podcast and tour offers a feeling of community to people who don't fit into the monolithic mainstream culture. In an American popular culture more niche-driven than ever before, Harmon has built for himself an intensely loyal niche audience, and Harmontown is a document of how he reaches out and touches that audience as well as how it recharges his creative batteries. This symbiosis – embodied by Spencer, the shy, solitary fan brought into Harmon's modest spotlight – is good for both parties, and aims for some modest form of the Truth.
Good Old-Fashioned Wholesome Fun With Search Engine Terms #13
Once again pawing through the half-secret detritus of desultory internet searches for kernels of mirth, the venerable series of mockery at anonymous googling marches on. Have at it, mates.
vanity fair dobbin fanfiction mature
At first I thought that was "Dobbie fanfiction" and was deeply troubled. But what red-blooded, sexually-open adult reader of speculative fanfic doesn't want to have an inside view of good, upstanding Dobbin finally being allowed a bit of pleasure for his owOH MY GOODNESS I JUST FOUND THE DOBBIN/GEORGE OSBORNE SLASH AND AM TITTILATED IN NEW AND UNFAMILIAR WAYS.
Well, at least now I'll have something to talk to the shrink about this week.
no king asgard the african one
This phrase is rather open to interpretation. Is it an inquiry into the Asgardian line of succession as regards Idris Elba's Heimdall, whose African descent was a matter of controversy to white supremacists prior to and after the release of Thor? Or is there a previously unheard-of African state called Asgard that finds itself tragically kingless at this particular moment?
The maddening thing is… we will never know for certain.
is the raccoons in the circus
This would either be far more entertaining than it sounds or, more likely, far less. But apparently, it's already happened in Britain and indeed is common enough to earn consideration as a practice to be banned. Well, I never.
what is the name of the band from bobcaygeon
I dunno, Bon Jovi?
I kid, yes. But I recall my father once very nearly mixed up the Tragically Hip and Bon Jovi when I asked him to pick me up Live Between Us in 1997 so my attempt at humour also masks a near-miss trauma of my teenaged years.
similarity: cutting, gangs of ny & kruger in elisyeum
I recently thought about the similarities between Bill Cutting and Stephen Harper, but hadn't considered a comparison of these two characters. I suspect that there aren't too many real point of intersection besides wicked accents and facial hair and a penchant for murderous violence.
cooking network fat food guy
"Fat Food Guy" is the most approximate English translation of Guy Fieri's name in Mandarin Chinese.
obnoxious food
"Obnoxious Food Guy" is also an admissable translation. And produces an exact match on Google image search:
who is the blonde model on vatican outreach video
Whoever she is, dude, she's not gonna date you and she's never worked in porn. Although with that dionysian Pope Francis wearing the mitre, you never do know, do you?
@Sidslang's Best of Twitter #8
@WernerTwertzog & @SlavojTweezek
The very nature of Twitter encourages, even predisposes, the viral re-circulation of marginal interests. Like most echo chambers, Twitter amplifies messages by exclusion of counter-messages. Sidelines become mainstream through a timeline-fed tunnel vision, and one-off, non-sequiturial witticisms can build up an entire counter-reality.
So it goes for two intellectually-tilted Twitter parody accounts plying their wares (and occasionally jousting with each other) in enlightened timelines. No, I don't mean the twin contending Richard Nixon parodies, which are honestly difficult to tell apart. I refer to Werner Twertzog and its spin-off Slavoj Tweezek. Neither of these are official, verified Twitter accounts of the enigmatic, absurd existentialist Bavarian film auteur nor of the Slovenian Marxist-Lacanian philosopher, literary theorist and cultural commentator (neither of these men have such a "real" account, as far as is known). But like many parody accounts, they fill the void left in the Twitterverse by the absence of these narrowly-known but always rhetorically unique figures.
The same hidden hand is evident behind both accounts, and one sometimes replies to the other, carrying on public and "actual" but entirely imagined conversations. Werner Twertzog predates Slavoj Tweezek, though the former's tweets were sometimes addressed to the other in a tone of weary, disagreeable riposte (and still are). Tweezek is, admittedly, a little more esoteric and less amusing, but this younger account is still finding its legs in expressing Zizek's inimitable observations. Twertzog is quite magnificent, however, in distilling Herzog's utterances, so much so that the term has become a verb, if this "interview" with Twertzog is to be believed, with its definition of the discourse's dark erudition and straight-faced Teutonic morbidity.
In both cases, though, the perfectly accurate and often quite funny approximations of the peculiar statements of Herzog and Zizek lose a measure of their effect while simultaneously demonstrating a weakness of Twitter as discourse. Twitter is written not spoken, read and not heard, composed but never vocalized. Herzog and Zizek are distinctive and memorable speakers whose voices and tones imbue the things they say (in English, anyway) with peculiar import.
Zizek's mellifluous Slovenian-accented outpourings, accompanied by a considerable lisp, persistent sniffles, and certain rhetorical habits, endear his observations to even those who might not be inclined to agree with them; he's become so successful in academic circles and as a public intellectual partly because of his personality as a speaker. Herzog, meanwhile, has one of film's most famous and distinctive voices, often heard while narrating his documentaries. His Bavarian accent is wondrously rich, even if he's only talking about how dumb chickens are. But the knife's edge poise of his tone is what makes Herzog's speech so remarkable; you never do know if he's making a deep and serious observation about the world, taking the piss out of the self-important windbags who think they have such observations to share, or both at once. Both of these tones are lost in the Twitterverse, as all tones of speaking and expressing generally are. There is freedom to Twitter's proscribed form of discourse, but this is unquestionably one of its prime limitations.
Representative Tweets:[tweet https://twitter.com/WernerTwertzog/status/593463127628451840 align='center'] [tweet https://twitter.com/SlavojTweezek/status/589109028741111808 align='center']
Good Old-Fashioned Wholesome Fun With Search Engine Terms #12
What, if anything, does having a view into the text entered into internet searches tell us about the psychology of those who entered it? Are they mere impressionistic doodles, ephemeral short-attention-span bursts of spectral curiosity? Or do searches tell us more about the underlying psyche of the searchers? About their belief-systems, unconscious desires, or deepest intentions? Governments certainly think so, which is why they're farming all of that content and sorting through the data to find something to detain you over. And you thought this post would only be good for light entertainment.
vanity fair novel as a satyrical comment on contemporary english society
I am very much in love with that spelling of "satyrical", although contrary to popular (or maybe less popular and more marginal) belief, the word "satire" does not derive philologically from the Greek mythological creature.
casting of richard armitage as thorin oakenshield, objections
I'm sure that Stuart Townsend was pretty pissed about it.
tolkein orcs politicals england
For whatever reason, every other search result yielded by this phrase was about the Scottish independence movement.
what are the stage names of borden and angier
Siegfried and Roy.
I went searching for the most bizarre and hilarious Siegfried and Roy images and the one above was only barely in the Top Five. Though it involves only Roy, the one below is likely #1.
hochschild leopolds ghost why was there colonization
As complex a question as it is possible to ask, quite probably. But can be summed up roughly as: where there's honey, there will be flies.
what is ridley scott trying to say in the ibelin scene of kingdom of heaven
I'm not even certain that Ridley Scott knows what Ridley Scott is trying to say with his period epics at this point. Other than "I like sand".
why is huxley such a prude
I'm assuming this question is rhetorical. Even if it isn't, ten points to Gryffindor.
ohio state fuckeyes
This phrase is forever heartening.
innocuous ambiguous gallery
Very good name. Is it taken?
the hobbit trilogy is underappreciated
Is that you, Peter Jackson? Go back to finishing the Extended Edition DVD. Slacker.
Body Care Products, Soup and the Absurdist Eccentricity of Modern Masculinity
It's becoming fairly apparent that the globalized social order of the post-modern, post-capitalist, post-democratic West is undergoing at least a few active crises. But seemingly at the core of all of them lies a truly earth-shaking crisis: a crisis of masculine identity. Salon's Andrew O'Hehir recently descried a nostalgic yearning to preserve and recapture a fading sense of unshakeable white American manhood in a time of increasing feminism, multiculturalism, diversity, and LGBT rights, where even unassailable fortresses of homosocial identity communion such as the National Football League, the U.S. military, and fraternities are finding themselves assailed for the less savoury consequences of their inborn chauvinism (like, I dunno, rape and domestic violence, or something).
Wherever one looks, in fact, defenders of aggressive, blustering masculinity are finding themselves seemingly besieged by the minority and diverse forces that they have marginalized and exploited for so long and are lashing out in response. The increasingly absurd machinations of the brothers Ford in Toronto municipal politics represents a pure distillation of the right-wing politics of white male resentment against the implications of liberal modernity for a permanent softening of an enduring (if ever-more vestigial) social hardness. Similar political predilections have taken firm hold of the Republican Party south of the border and are granted a seat at the proverbial table in the Conservative Party north of it.
Elsewhere, the longtime male fantasy zones of superhero comics and video games are experiencing spasms of change as open-minded creativity and criticism open them up to new, non-male voices. Some dudes may never be able to handle a female Thor, and even more dudes have crafted an obnoxiously misogynistic "movement" called Gamergate to harrass and silence incisive feminist voices criticizing sexist representations in gaming. Even international terrorism fits this masculine counter-revolution bill. What is ISIS, at its core, than the most extreme men's rights pushback of them all, transmuted through post-colonial developing-world grievances against imperial powers and a radical, fundamentalist vision of Islam that restores a medieval gender hierarchy through brutal force? And what is the muscular military intervention against them but a resurgence of masculine martial fervour to match their vicious phallic demonstrations?
But there's a parallel stream (or perhaps an intertwined one) to this belligerent counter-revolutionary masculinity. Corporate consumer advertising has targetted perceived male insecurity by flattering its assumptions of inherent superiority while simultaneously exposing the obsessive propriety with which it treats its cherished tenets as fundamentally ridiculous. This ironic, self-aware approach to the terms of traditional masculinity lampoons those terms just as it reinforces them. It presents masculinity as a sort of comic eccentricity to be stroked and kept placated by agents of traditional femininity, lest its claws come out. The innovating ad in this cycle was Old Spice's viral clip starring the brilliantly deadpan Isaiah Mustafa as "The Man Your Man Could Smell Like".
There's an overt appeal to women to the ad, of course: Mustafa is gorgeous, and he's looking right at the camera, addressing the "ladies", letting them know that men are basically ludicrous creatures but they have their uses (mostly, it must be said, materialist ones). But the dominant message is addressed to men: it's okay to be traditionally masculine, but try not to take it too seriously, because that makes you a chauvinist asshole. There's also a line out to men and women who reject the terms of traditional masculinity, nudging them knowingly and acknowledging the rightness of their view. No wonder the ad was so massively successful, launching similarly parodically manly sequels and indeed whole products lines based on the comic premise. It spoke, with exquisite, slippery balance, to most hegemonic young-adult demographics at the same time.
The Old Spice campaign found itself either inspiring or coming into discourse with similarly-pitched marketing, most prominently the meme-ready Dos Equis ads featuring "The Most Interesting Man in the World" pictured above. The tone of worldly, devil-may-care sophistication of those ads introduced a note of cosmopolitan savoir-faire to the modern masculine playbook, qualities that are often dismissed as European and effeminate. But a more recent, and odd, commercial for Chunky Soup's blatantly male-centred Pub Inspired line of canned soup flavours focused the beam of ludicrous modern masculinity even more intensely.
The demographic appeal here is more particular: young father with teeny-pop fan daughters is offered respite from his emasculated plight by a meat-and-potatoes stew and a skull-perching eagle-wing set of earmuffs. But beyond the absurdist humour and gender assumptions lies a secretive homosocial exchange. The experienced soup-slinging bartender inside the television (his taps dispense not beer but sludgy, sodium-rich sustenance for young single men allergic to food preparation) offers sage advice and material gifts that preserve some private illusion of traditional masculinity to a subject otherwise deprived of contact with his supposedly primal (but really quite socially constructed) manhood. It's a window into the mindset of patriarchy: private exchanges between men in settings where women are not present and certainly hold no power or sway determining the matters of true importance.
But the exchange is fundamentally silly, down to the screaming eagle with the pretentiously classical name. Perhaps the core truth of the current state of masculinity is most visible in this element of such an advertisement: although man-to-man exchange retains its protocols of respect and gravity, both the customs of this exchange and the patriarchal aims it supports and works towards have slid into a position of tired uselessness worthy of ridicule. A panicked realization of this fall from grace may perhaps serve to explain the vehemence of chauvinist masculinity's response to the perceived reduction of its influence and dominated discursive territory.


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I racked my brain and came up with 10 movies that you should watch this Halloween season. There are so many more, but I narrowed it down to 10 different types of horror films that are great. If you haven't seen some of these movies, you will not be disappointed if you rent or buy them. In no particular order, let's go…
1. Poltergeist (1982) – This is the story of a typical middle class family that moves into a house that is haunted by ghosts. It is very scary and still holds up today. The psychic has the creepiest voice ever. You can get a preview of that in the trailer below. You will never look at toy clowns the same after you watch this movie. Do it…
Check out the original trailer. The music is hauntingly excellent.
2. The Ring (2002) – If you've never seen The Ring, it's about a journalist who investigates a mysterious videotape that seems to cause death to anyone in a week of viewing it. I know the logline sounds pretty ridiculous but this movie is great. The opening scene has always stuck with me. Director Gore Verbinski did an excellent job remaking this film. Watch this…
3. Let Me In (2010) – Let Me In is a American re-make of the 2008 Swedish film Let The Right One In. The movie is about a bullied boy who befriends a strange girl who recently moves into his apartment building.
I've seen both movies and against popular opinion, I like the American version better. Matt Reeves, the director, took the original which is really good and made it great. His direction and shot design took this movie to the next level. I can confidently say that this is the best vampire movie I've seen (not including The Lost Boys.)
Here's a clip from Let Me In.
Buy Here – Blu-Ray is only $7.99
4. Dead Alive (1992) – You might not have heard of this movie, it's one of Peter Jackson's (Lord of The Ring's) first films and it is crazy. It's a splatter film that is about a young man's mother who is bitten by a Sumatran Rat-Monkey. She gets sick and dies but later comes back to life eating animals, neighbors, friends and more.
This is a extremely graphic, gory and fun movie to watch. I wish Peter Jackson would layoff Middle Earth for a while and go back to making a movie like.
This is a terrible copy of the trailer. Sorry about that. Here's a little Easter egg for you too. The Sumatran Rat-Monkey which is the cause of the zombie outbreak in this movie is also in King Kong. Next time you watch it, it's stowed in a crate on the ship where Jack Black is working.
5. 30 Days of Night (2007) – This is another awesome vampire movie. In Barrow, Alaska for one month each year it is plunged into darkness due to it's location far north of the Artic Circle. While the town is shut off from the rest of the world a horde of blood thirsty vampires ravage the locals.
This film was directed by acclaimed music video director David Slade who used the creepy distorted face effect on his vampires like he did in System of a Down's video Aerials and Muse's Feeling Good. This is another visually amazing film, the shot direction and look are top notch. Ben Foster and Danny Huston deliver some notable performances as well. It's refreshing to watch a real vampire movie.
I've got a little fun fact about this film. Director Slade was having such a hard time with his star Josh Hartnett that the producers had to fly out one of Hartnett's previous directors to help work him out of his funk…. Hollywood can be a cruel thumbsucking bitch.
Buy here Blu Ray $13.00 on Amazon
6. Cabin in the Woods (2012) – Five college friends head to a remote cabin for a weekend vacation, when they realize something is terribly wrong. Now they must find out the truth about the cabin in the woods.
This is a horror film like you've never seen before. It's funny, scary, smart and very entertaining. It's like a real life Scooby Doo episode made for adults with gore and tits. This is one for your library for sure.
7. Frailty (2001) – A man confesses to an FBI agent his families story that his religious fanatic father's visions led to a series of brutal murders.
The first time you see this movie is the best so if you haven't seen it you're in for a treat. This is a great chilling story that give you a good scare. People hate on McConaughey but ever since I saw EDTV I've loved him. "He did it in a Camry!"
8. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) – Five friends visiting their grandfathers cabin are hunted down by a chainsaw wielding madman and his insane grave digging family members.
This movie has the scariest and most iconic opening monologues of any scary movie. This is a truly terrifying film and if you've only seen the remake(s) then you need to see this one. Yes it's old and looks old, but it's worth the watch. Do it….
9. 28 Days Later (2002) – I feel like this movie is the film that not only brought new life into the zombie genre but also reinvented it. 28 Days Later is about a bike messenger who wakes up from a coma 4 weeks after an infection has spread throughout the UK. He and a group of survivors try to find sanctuary.
I love Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, Sunshine, The Beach) and love this movie. The music is pretty awesome too.
10. Psycho (1960) – This is probably my favorite film of all time. I don't know what it is but even as a kid who grew up on Nightmare on Elm Street and Americas Funniest Home Videos, this movie has always had an impact on me. I don't know how old I was when I first saw it but I do remember loving the simplicity of how Hitchcock told this intricate story. Killing off the main character 20 minutes into the film, the twisting shot of Marion's eye as she lay dead on the floor, the look of Norman's mansion, the list goes on and on. If you have never seen this movie, please do not watch the 1998 version with Vince Vaughn, it's so bad. Watch the original.
I've got a little story for you all, as a kid who grew up in Southern California I went to Universal Studios probably every 3-4 years. I would always love to see the Bates Motel and Psycho Mansion. That was my favorite part of the tram ride. Well, in college I was working on a film that was shooting on the Universal Studios backlot and one night a group of us decided we were going to take a midnight tour after we wrapped. We drove around the entire lot, getting out of the car and taking pics at all the cool movie sites and sets. Since I was the driver we ended up last at the Bates Motel. We parked the van walked around the entire hotel and around the Mansion. I wanted to check out room 1, where Marion stayed, but the door was poorly nailed shut. So with a swift little kick the door opened right up. I was shocked to see an entire hotel room set inside the room. I was expecting a facade but it wasn't, it looked just like it did in the movie. We went in to room and checked everything out, then went into the bathroom, where Norman Bates mother killed Marion in the shower. The bathroom was complete just like the hotel room and inside the shower the floor was covered with red blood (paint.) I could not believe it, it was so awesome! Now I know that it's not the blood from the original film but it was crazy to be standing in the actual Bates Motel, inside Marion's room and looking at blood stains in her shower. Crazy, I actually have some pictures, I'm going to have to go to my parents and dig them out of my storage in their garage and then I'll post some up for you.


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Enjoy a traditional family Christmas at Mumbles Pier this year, we have loads going on for all the family…
Christmas Grotto
Opens November 18th Open every Saturday and Sunday 12pm – 6pm (5pm Christmas Eve)
Why not visit Father Christmas at our Grotto and even pick your very own present from our Elves Workshop. Each Child will get the chance to complete their own personal Christmas Letter before handing it to the jolly man himself when visiting his Grotto. Following which, they will go in the Elves Workshop where they can pick any present they desire from the array of beautiful toys we have on offer. If you want whilst your there why not grab your own Reindeer Sprinkles or Christmas Eve Cookies ready for the big day!
Ticket: £7.95 (per child)
Adults do not require a ticket for this event. If pre-booking your ticket offers you priority queueing anytime between 12pm and 6pm (5pm on Christmas Eve).
Avoid the queues and pre-book your date and ticket here.
Big families needn't miss out if your pre-booking online for our Christmas Grotto receive 25% Off when booking for three children or more.
Santa's Grotto – Quiet Hour
At Mumbles Pier we want to ensure that all children can enjoy a trip to Santa's Grotto. For many children diagnosed with Autism, a trip to Santa's Grotto can be a frightening mix of large crowds and loud noises. Therefore, we have decided to launch our Santa's Grotto Quiet Hour – this will be an hour set aside in the morning before the crowds come in, where we will be turning down the music, and lights to make Santa's Grotto more enjoyable and less distressing, so all children can enjoy the Christmas magic. We will be selling very limited numbers of tickets for these hours so pre-booking is essential.
Santa's Grotto Quiet Hour is an hour set aside between 9am and 10am on the 10th, 16th, 17th, 23rd and 24th December where there will be reduced waiting times and quieter music. These sessions are open to any with a cognitive, sensory or physical disability.
(1oth and the 24th of December left!)
Please click here for tickets or for further information please call 01792 365200.
We have put together an information sheet for parents attending this event please click here to read.
Annual Christmas Concert with Gwalia Singers
Wednesday 20th December at 7pm
Last years concert was such a huge success this year we are delighted to invite back the wonderfully talented Gwalia Singers to host our Annual Christmas Concert. Due to the high numbers of visitors we experienced last year this event is now ticketed with all ticket sales going towards our designated Christmas Charity.
Ticket Price: £5pp
To purchase your tickets for this event please click here alternatively tickets can be purchased onsite at Copperfish.
Tea Party with Father Christmas
December 14th and December 21st 4.30pm
Our hugely successful Tea Party with Father Christmas sees the elves once again take over our Beach Hut Café to host a spectacular Christmas Tea Party. With an elf disco and an array of delicious party food, the party will be full swing before the main man himself shows up! Each child will receive their own personalised letter to give to Father Christmas and get to visit Santa in his grotto before receiving a present to take home and their own personalised letter from Father Christmas himself (only to be opened on Christmas Eve!)
This is a very popular event so please book early to avoid disappointment.
Tickets: £15.95 per child (accompanying adults do not need to purchase a ticket).
To purchase your tickets for this event please click here alternatively tickets can be purchased from onsite from Copperfish.
Breakfast with Father Christmas
Copperfish plays host to Father Christmas in the morning! You and the family can enjoy a delicious breakfast next to our log fires and Father Christmas may even turn up to enjoy a bacon buttie or two! After which your little one can enjoy a visit to Santa's Grotto and a trip to the Elves Workshop to choose their own present to take home from an array of wonderful gifts!
Tickets: Children £12.95 (Includes Breakfast and Grotto Visit) Adult £6.95 (Breakfast)
To purchase your tickets for this event please click here alternatively tickets can be purchased onsite at Copperfish.
(all tickets sold out apart from the 10th)
Christmas Eve Breakfast with Father Christmas
This was the morning before Christmas and before his busiest night of the year Father Christmas and his Elves are stopping by to enjoy a bit of brekkie with all the families at the Pier. Your little one will enjoy their breakfast with Father Christmas and the Elves before filling in their own personalised letter and visiting Father Christmas in his grotto, after which they can pick any present they so wish in the Elves Workshop. This is sure to be a very popular event so we advise early booking.
Tickets: Children £17.95 (Includes Breakfast and Grotto Visit) Adult £6.95
To purchase your tickets for this event please click here alternatively tickets can be purchased onsite at Copperfish.
At Mumbles Pier we can cater for Children's Christmas Parties so whether you're a school, kids club or even looking for a Christmas Themed birthday party our group packages start from as little as £349 for more information ask our Events Planner.
Adult Christmas Functions
Christmas Parties at the Pier are like no other, with exclusive hire of the whole venue including the Pavilion Café, Bowling Alleys and Amusements Arcade; your Christmas Party will be bursting at the seams with things to do, drink and eat! We can cater for parties up to 200. So we'll put up the decorations, hire in the DJ and keep the drinks flowing so you have the night to remember!
Please click here for more information.
For more information please call 01792 365206 or email firstname.lastname@example.com


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Client in Yorkville
Are you looking to have your wheels, trim, or emblems painted? I provide "dipping" services that are 100% reversible. The dip acts just like a latex paint and can be applied to any surface with any color. The beauty of dipping versus painting your wheels, trim, and emblems is that the "dip" is easily removable and does not damage the original finish. This way if you scratch your wheel, you can easily remove and reapply versus painting or powdercoating. Also, you can easily change the look of your vehicle easily, whenever you please. You can either drop off your vehicle or just the wheels. A set of wheels generally take 3-4 hours. My pricing is as follows: Flat fee: Set of 4 wheels: $125 (clean and unmounted) Set of 4 wheels: $145 (dirty and unmounted) Set of 4 wheels: $160 (clean and mounted) Set of 4 wheels: $180 (dirty and mounted) (Unmounted- wheels are not on the vehicle) (Mounted- wheels are on the vehicle) Add for color/style: (This covers cost of the "dip". There is no mark-up on the prices below, it is what you would pay if you bought it yourself. If you want to supply the "dip" paint, then ignore the prices below) Bright: $26 Metallic: $40 Matte: $26 Gloss: $50 Chameleon: $55 Metal Flake: $50 Pearl: $50 Additional options: Emblems: $10 (logo's - make/model/trim) Grill: $20 (entire grill incl logo) Trim: $75 (trim around the windows) Ask me any questions you want. Please allow me a week to acquire the color/style you want to go with. I'm available most week nights and weekends. I work on referrals so you can be sure it will be quality work. Cash only. Thanks, Konrad --... Tags: paint, dip, spray, plasti, plastidip, dip, custom, gloss, matte, color, wheels, trim, emblems, car, truck, van, suv, unique, clean, rim, rims, wheel, emblem, cars, trucks, need, colors, bright, shiny, Honda, Acura, Toyota, chevy, ford, dodge, Nissan, Lexus, motorcycle, sportbike, cruiser
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|630-750-... Confirmed
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Phone: 1-800-873-5353
Fax: 1-561-272-0813


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This is the first in a series of episodes focused on the Canadian Provincial Nominee Programs. If you are considering immigrating to the Province of Manitoba, this episode will give you essential tips and strategies on how to improve your chances of securing a Provincial Nomination from the MPNP.
In this episode of the Canadian Immigration Podcast, I spoke with Alastair Clarke who is an Immigration lawyer practicing in the Province of Manitoba located in the heart of Canada. While we touch on Alastair's extensive experience, which encompasses all areas of immigration and refugee law, our main topic of discussion focuses on the Manitoba Provincial Nominee Program (MPNP). The Program is great for individuals who have connections to Manitoba, including family members, work experience, or study experience in the Province. However, without a solid connection, you will likely not have a viable shot at receiving a nomination.
Along with providing extensive insights into how the program works, Alastair touched on how it can be used to transition foreign workers (both low and high skill) into PR status in Canada. Alastair also shared his knowledge on the options available to those who may have a weaker connections to the Province.
During my interview with Alastair, we discuss the following areas:
- The Manitoba PNP
- Options for foreign nationals to immigrate with few connections
- How can the PNP be used to transition foreign workers
- Options for low-skill workers
- Where the MB PNP is headed in the future
- Practical tips for submitting applications to the MB PNP.
Time Stamped Quick Reference Guide
In order to help you jump to the areas of most interest to you, I have included below some time stamps for some of the significant topics covered in this episode.
3:57 – Who is Alastair Clarke?
11:28 – How he got into immigration.
16:30 – Overview of the Manitoba PNP.
18:37 – Are there any options available for foreign nationals to immigrate directly to MB without having first worked in the Province?
21:30 – How can the PNP be used to transition foreign workers to PR status in Canada?
26:52 – Are there any options for low-skill workers or is the program just restricted to skilled workers?
28:20 – Where do you see the MB PNP headed for the future? Any upcoming changes or things the listeners should be aware of?
39:06 – Top 3 practical tips for submitting applications OR Top 3 most common errors people make when submitting their applications to the MB PNP.
44:38 – How to contact Alastair Clarke.
Additional Resources:
- Clarke Immigration Law: http://www.apply2manitoba.ca/
- Alastair's e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com
- Alastair's Blog: http://www.apply2manitoba.ca/blog/
- "Silly Rules" of Immigration Law: http://www.apply2manitoba.ca/repost-silly-rules-immigration-law/
- MPNP: From Temporary Status to PR Status: http://www.apply2manitoba.ca/mpnp-temporary-status-pr-status/
- MPNP: How to Apply …. and Tips: http://www.apply2manitoba.ca/mpnp-how-to-apply/
- Western Canada Line Dance Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyanG4BelGg
Listen to Mark Holthe's Canadian Immigration Podcast
Topics for our Next Podcast
If you have a suggestion for topics we could cover in the Podcast, please drop me a line. If you know of anyone that would be interested in coming on the Podcast as a guest, please send them my way. share on facebook, share on twitter, share on LinkedIn
Read the Transcript
You can read additional notes for this episode, just click here to read the transcipt below
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If you want to listen to more episodes, you will find all the episodes here.
Ask Mark an Immigration Question
Periodically I answer listener questions on my podcast. If you have a question, comment, thought or concern, you can do so by clicking here. We'd love to hear from you. You can also leave me a voice message on the Ask an Immigration Question widget on the side bar of this website.
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If you enjoyed the show, please rate it on iTunes and write a brief review. That would help tremendously in getting the word out and raising the visibility of the show. Share the Love


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Contact Building Commission
Tel: 1300 489 099
Fax: (+618) 6251 1501
Plumbers general enquiries
6251 1377
Mason Bird Building
303 Sevenoaks St
Cannington WA 6107
View on Google Maps
All documents issued prior to 1 July 2017 were issued by the former Department of Commerce. Documents listed here are the latest versions available. For more information on this document, please contact firstname.lastname@example.com.
An interim report on the discovery of asbestos within imported atrium roof panel products used in the construction of the new Perth Children's Hospital.
Last modified:


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This site is entirely user-supported. See how you can help.
Street View is the best available vantage point looking, if possible, towards the location of the building. In some locations, Street View may not give a view of the actual building, or may not be available at all. Where it is not available, the satellite view is shown instead.
Latitude: 51.4173 / 51°25'2"N
Longitude: -2.2611 / 2°15'39"W
OS Eastings: 381940
OS Northings: 168730
OS Grid: ST819687
Mapcode National: GBR 0Q7.54V
Mapcode Global: VH96G.RMJV
Entry Name: West Portal of Middlehill Tunnel
Listing Date: 27 July 1985
Grade: II*
Source: Historic England
Source ID: 1022803
English Heritage Legacy ID: 317065
Location: Box, Wiltshire, SN13
County: Wiltshire
Civil Parish: Box
Traditional County: Wiltshire
Lieutenancy Area (Ceremonial County): Wiltshire
Church of England Parish: Box
Church of England Diocese: Bristol
2/201 West Portal of Middlehill
Railway tunnel entrance, 1840 by I. K. Brunel for the Great Western
Railway. Ashlar with some later repair in brick. Ashlar classical
archway flanked by ashlar curving retaining walls and treminated at
circular south pier and octagonal north pier. Main arch rusticated
with heavy moulded console keystone and set back between piers,
each with recessed panel of massive fasces. Elemental Doric
cornice breaking forward over piers and ashlar parapet with moulded
cornice. Identical in design to the East Portal (q.v.).
Listing NGR: ST8194068730
This text is from the original listing, and may not necessarily reflect the current setting of the building.
Other nearby listed buildings


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IK refreshes iRig line-up for electric and acoustic guitarists
IK Multimedia has launched two new products for electric and acoustic guitarists at NAMM 2017, the annual music technology industry event.
Firstly, the Italian company has uprated the specification of its iRig Pro audio interface. Compatible with iPhone, iPad, Mac and PC, iRig Pro I/O adds MIDI in/out, 24-bit/96KHz recording quality, a 3.5mm headphone jack and dedicated volume control – enabling the device to be used with the latest Apple devices without a headphone jack – and the ability to run off batteries or mains power and thus also charge your device whilst using it.
With the iRig Pro I/O's various jacks and connectors, a wide array of equipment can be attached - not just standard guitars, but also basses, microphones (dynamic, condenser and ribbon), keyboards, drum machines and more. The audio signal can be routed to a mobile device or computer and the performance recorded, plus any MIDI tracks as well.
The combo XLR/¼" Neutrik input jack accepts all line level, unbalanced Hi-Z or XLR microphone connections, with switchable 48V phantom power. Input gain is controlled via the precision-marked knob, with the multi-colour LED indicator providing a visual check of the optimum input gain level to prevent clipping.
The 3.5mm/1/8" headphone/line out has a dedicated level control, which as well as driving headphones can also be used to send the signal out to mixers or powered monitor speakers.
The iRig Pro I/O can be powered either by two AA batteries or via USB or the direct DC dedicated power supply unit, which will also charge a connected iPhone or iPad while in use for unlimited playing or recording time, on stage and in the studio.
The iRig Pro I/O will be available from April 2017 for a scheduled price of €149.99.
Secondly, IK has expanded the functionality and feature set of its iRig Acoustic clip-on preamp, building on the original pick-up's premise to produce the iRig Acoustic Stage.
This new system is an advanced microphone, preamp and digital processor system designed to enable players to produce a true acoustic tone, any time and anywhere. The iRig Acoustic Stage combines an advanced MEMS microphone that clips on to the sound hole of an acoustic instrument with a preamp and DSP unit that captures all the tone, vibe and "air" of the instrument when playing live or recording in home and project studios.
The iRig Acoustic Stage's patented system can be used with any make of acoustic guitar or other acoustic instruments – such as ukulele, acoustic bass, bouzouki, mandolin etc – to reproduce the sound as if it were captured with a classic, full recording studio set-up.
Players simply clip the iRig Acoustic Stage's microphone to the sound hole of their instrument, attach it to the iRig Acoustic Stage pre-amplifier and digital processor, then connect the output of that to a mixer or acoustic guitar amplifier.
For players who currently perform with an acoustic-electric, iRig Acoustic Stage is intended to enhance the guitar's live tone. The iRig Acoustic Stage also features an AUX (auxiliary) input with a blend control that lets players blend their guitar's existing, preinstalled pickup system with the output of iRig Acoustic Stage, providing greater tonal flexibility and fullness.
The iRig Acoustic Stage uses an ultra-compact MEMS microphone to capture the acoustic's sound from the guitar's sound hole. It can be quickly slid into place or removed from the sound hole of the instrument with zero modification to the instrument required. This lets players use iRig Acoustic Stage on all of their acoustics during performance.
The whole system comprises a 32-bit digital processor, acoustic preamp and MEMS microphone, with the unit analysing the signal coming from the guitar - the overall sound and nuance of the instrument, as well as the player's technique - and builds the optimum tone profile for the instrument that delivers a warm, round and balanced acoustic sound.
This tone profile can then be enhanced through the use of six selectable tone presets, depending upon the playing situation, with iRig Acoustic Stage offering three presets for steel-string instruments - natural, warm, bright - and the same three optimised for nylon string instruments. A digital feedback suppression algorithm is also built in to the system.
Finally, the iRig Acoustic Stage also features a class-compliant USB audio output jack, making it perfect for direct connection to a computer or a mobile device for plug-and-play recording in any DAW or recording app.
The iRig Acoustic Stage is available now for €99.99.
Further informationwww.irigproio.com