text:
It is not always possible to accurately
diagnose a
fungal nail infection based on appearance alone. A
potassium hydroxide (KOH) preparation test can help determine whether you have
a fungal nail infection.
Your doctor will collect a sample of skin
and/or nail fragments (debris) under the infected nail. If a sample of debris
can't be removed, he or she can take a nail sample by lightly scraping the
nail near the infected area or by using a small blade to shave off a piece of
Nail or debris samples are placed on a slide with a
potassium hydroxide (KOH) solution and gently heated. The solution slowly
dissolves the skin and nail cells, leaving the fungus cells. The fungus cells
can then be seen with a microscope. Color stains can be used to make the fungi
easier to see.
If you have discolored, damaged,
broken, or thickened nails or have a buildup of skin and nail fragments
(debris) under a nail, a KOH test can help confirm whether a fungal nail
infection is present.
No fungi are present in the debris or nail
sample. But the test may be done again using more samples taken from other
parts of the infected nail. This is because there may no longer be fungi on the
edge of the infected area, where it is easiest to scrape for a sample, or in
the dead tissue, even if you have a fungal nail infection.
Fungi are present in the debris or nail
Not all nail diseases
are fungal nail infections. Because of this and the
risks linked with oral antifungal medicine, your
doctor will probably confirm that you have a fungal infection using a KOH
preparation test if you are considering taking antifungal pills (oral
treatment). Many insurance companies now require testing to verify a fungal
infection before paying for medicines.
If your test is normal, your doctor may
do other tests to determine the cause of the nail damage.
Complete the medical test information form (PDF)(What is a PDF document?) to help you prepare for this test.
Last Revised:
June 27, 2012
Healthwise Staff
Medical Review:
Patrice Burgess, MD - Family Medicine & E. Gregory Thompson, MD - Internal Medicine
This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise, Incorporated disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use. How this information was developed to help you make better health decisions.
To learn more visit Healthwise.org
© 1995-2012 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.


text:
Wednesday, 8 May
Members with Birthdays this Month
pirelli.com: Pirelli in the ?temple of speed? with specifically designed 17 inch Diablo Superbike solutions
crash.net: Guintoli targets Monza speed record
: Laverty confident of prospects
hrchonda.com: Repsol Honda team continues momentum in Jerez test
autosport.com: Jorge Lorenzo settles dilemma over Yamaha MotoGP chassis
autosport.com: Rossi says Marquez/Lorenzo clash at Jerez a racing incident
Formula One
formula1.com: Spanish GP ? did you know?
formula1.com: Ferrari organizational changes paying off
jamesallenonff1.com: Circuit de Catalunya the complete race circuit that frustrates the engineers
Other Racing
On the Street
The Commute
Commuting motorcycles come in all sizes.
The MotherShip PressClub
RECALL: NHTSA Recall ID No. 13V172000
[Dated: MAY 03, 2013 BMW is recalling certain model year 2002-2003 325i, 325xi, 330i, 330xi sedans; 325Ci and 330Ci coupes and convertibles; 325iT and 325xiT Sports Wagons; and M3 coupes and convertibles to address a safe... url=]....More
The 2013 MotoGP season is a special one for the BMW M GmbH which is celebrating a double anniversary. It is the 15th year as ?Official Car of MotoGP? and at the end of the season, the BMW M Award for the best MotoGP qualifier will be handed over for the tenth time. Since the end of 2003, the rider with the best qualifying results has been awarded an exclusive and individually customised BMW* ...More
The 2013 MotoGP? World Championship is a very special one for BMW M GmbH: this is BMW M?s 15th season as ?Official Car of MotoGP?. The fleet of Safety and Official Cars is made up of the latest BMW M models, which have been modified specifically for their outings in MotoGP. ....More
Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Auckland was a three-time winner at the Asia Pacific regional dealer awards held in Hong Kong recently. The dealership shone during an awards ceremony held for the brand?s 16 dealer partners from across the Asia Pacific region (outside of China). ...More
Rolls-Royce Motor Cars has announced plans for a new authorised dealer to be based in Poland. Last week Auto Fus and the manufacturer of super-luxury motor cars signed an agreement which states that the new dealership is to be officially named Rolls-Royce Motor Cars Warsaw. Since 2010, Auto Fus has been an authorised service partner and will extend its services to the entire range of sales and aftersales. ....More
Cage World
www.bimmerfile.com: BimmerFile ? cage news options & reviews that matter
Reference Library
Bike Candy
As seen on the MOA Facebooke site.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
If you cannot find answers to your questions here, please call 609-292-9292 Option 1, during business hours.
For a prompt e-mail response, click on the Digital Director below.
GETTING STARTED (With STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS)
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If you already have a PBS account, navigate to the PBS home page LOG ON to access your services.
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Last Updated: Monday, 06/11/18


text:
Teheran surrenders rare runs in loss to Rockies
DENVER -- One night after tallying a season high in runs, the Braves felt good about sending Major League Baseball's ERA leader to the mound to oppose a pitcher who had been anything but dominant against Pacific Coast League opponents this year.
But their optimism quickly faded as Julio Teheran endured the worst start of his career and Tyler Matzek flirted with going through his Major League debut in perfect fashion. In summation, this was just another night when unpredictability reigned at Coors Field.View Full Game Coverage
DENVER -- One night after tallying a season high in runs, the Braves felt good about sending Major League Baseball's ERA leader to the mound to oppose a pitcher who had been anything but dominant against Pacific Coast League opponents this year.
But their optimism quickly faded as Julio Teheran endured the worst start of his career and Tyler Matzek flirted with going through his Major League debut in perfect fashion. In summation, this was just another night when unpredictability reigned at Coors Field.View Full Game Coverage
Whereas Matzek carried a bid for a perfect game into the fifth inning on Wednesday night, Teheran struggled through a three-run first inning that proved to be decisive in an 8-2 loss.
"It just wasn't my day," Teheran said after allowing a career-high seven earned runs in 6 1/3 frustration-filled innings.
Instead of extending the momentum created by Tuesday night's 13-10 win, the Braves proved lifeless against Matzek, who was perfect in six of his first seven innings and maintained a shutout bid until surrendering three consecutive hits to begin the eighth. Andrelton Simmons' RBI single accounted for the only run that scored while Matzek was on the mound.
B.J. Upton's two-out infield single plated the second of the two runs charged to Matzek, who surrendered five hits and recorded seven strikeouts in his seven-plus innings. The consecutive one-out singles Justin Upton and Chris Johnson produced in the fifth accounted for the Braves' only baserunners before the eighth inning.
"We didn't do a good job of hitting the strikes," Simmons said. "He didn't do much. He threw a fastball and a slider the whole game pretty much. We didn't hit. You've got to give him some credit, but we've got to take some blame, too."
Matzek also recorded his first hit -- an infield single in the seventh. This was obviously quite a debut for a player who had a 4.05 ERA in 12 starts for Triple-A Colorado Springs this year.
It was also a night to forget for Teheran, who carried an MLB-best 1.89 ERA into the contest and exited at 2.41. He had allowed more than four earned runs in just three of his previous 47 career starts.
"He didn't get hit really hard," manager Fredi Gonzalez said. "Yesterday, balls were flying. Today, balls were just in front of our outfielders. They had a couple of bloop singles and kept putting the pressure on and kept running the bases well."
Teheran's rise into baseball's elite pitching class began on April 23, 2013, when he allowed one earned run in seven innings while pitching in freezing temperatures at Coors Field. Clayton Kershaw stood as the only pitcher who had produced a better ERA than Teheran (2.39) while making at least 35 starts since that date.
This outing was more reminiscent of the ones he experienced in Game 3 of the 2013 National League Division Series and on May 14, when he lasted just 3 1/3 innings against the Giants. He struggled to gain a grip of the baseball while making both of these starts in low humidity.
Teheran did not blame this outing on the thin Rocky Mountain air or the inability to get a feel for his pitches.
"I didn't have a problem with my grip or my pitches," he said. "I think I had my good stuff. Just a couple bloopers that got me."
Teheran's bid to allow three runs or fewer for the 12th time in a span of 14 starts ended when the Rockies constructed their three-run first inning. Justin Morneau fueled the early eruption when he concluded a seven-pitch at-bat by reaching across the plate to hit an elevated changeup to left-center for a two-out single, advancing Josh Rutledge to third. Drew Stubbs followed by sending an RBI double into that B.J. Upton corralled in front of the warning track in the cavernous right-center field gap.
Corey Dickerson then added to Teheran's frustration by slicing a two-run triple that landed in left-center field and rolled to the wall.
"You never know where you're going to play in the outfield here, it's so big and spacious," Gonzalez said. "Sometimes you play too deep and the ball falls in front of you. Sometimes you play normal and the ball gets in the gap or over your head."
After Troy Tulowitzki notched his first hit of the series with a one-out single in the third, Stubbs sent him home with a sacrifice fly. Rutledge experienced a scare when Teheran's 92-mph fastball deflected off his left shoulder and batting helmet in the fifth inning. Rutledge remained in the game and scored when the Braves botched a rundown after Tulowitzki made a wide turn around first base following a single.
Rockies manager Walt Weiss credited his team's performance to what it learned as Teheran found success on the outer part of the plate while tossing six scoreless innings against Colorado on May 25.
"We just knew that we couldn't go up there and try to catch the ball out front and try to use the pull side of the field," said Weiss. "It's about hitting the ball to the big part of the field on a guy like that, who is very deceptive. I thought our approach was real good."
Mark Bowman is a reporter for MLB.com.


text:
You don't have to be a trained musician to make music. Using the creative approach of Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine, our Apple Creatives will show you how to use what's around you to get your song started with Beat Sequencer, Sampler, and Smart Instruments in GarageBand. Bring your iPad or we'll provide one. To get ready, join us for Music Skills: Notes and Chords.
More about Labs
Labs dive deeper into a creative approach by getting you started on a project that you can take further. Labs build on your existing skills. If you're a beginner, check out Skills sessions.


text:
The attack on a U.S. diplomatic mission in Benghazi, Libya, in which the U.S. ambassador to Libya and three other Americans were killed, set off a debate in Washington that initially focused on embassy security but soon shifted to broader questions about the Obama administration's competence and trustworthiness -- and threatened to hamper the president's ability to win cooperation from Senate Republicans on future Cabinet nominations.
Ambassador Chris Stevens, State Department information officer Sean Smith, and embassy security workers Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods -- both former Navy SEALs -- were killed in a Sept. 11 firefight that followed protests at the mission initially publicly ascribed to Muslim anger at a film produced in Southern California that defamed the Prophet Muhammad, the founder of Islam.
The attack in Benghazi came after protesters in Cairo had torn down an American flag at the U.S. Embassy and replaced it with an al-Qaida flag, but the State Department initially indicated it could not confirm whether the Benghazi attack was related to the Cairo incident.
Speaking at the White House the day after the attack, President Barack Obama said "no acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation." White House spokesman Jay Carney maintained for several days there was no evidence to indicate the attack was "planned or imminent."
Conservative media began almost immediately to focus on the question of whether the attack was planned or spontaneous, and whether the administration was misrepresenting it to the public. Eventually, the question began to receive wider coverage and Benghazi became an issue in the presidential campaign.
Congressional Republicans placed particular emphasis on public comments by U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, who said on ABC's "This Week" six days after the attack, the protest in Benghazi "seems to have been hijacked, let us say, by some individual clusters of extremists who came with heavier weapons, weapons that as you know in -- in the wake of the revolution in Libya ... are quite common and accessible."
Appearing the same day on CBS' "Face the Nation," U.S. Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., said there was no doubt the attack "was an act of terror."
Congressional Republicans said in early October the Benghazi facility had been threatened and attacked 13 times and the Sept. 11 attack "was clearly never, as administration officials once insisted, the result of a popular protest."
In a letter to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, Reps. Darrell Issa of California and Jason Chaffetz of Utah -- both Republicans -- said U.S. officials had confirmed that, "prior to the Sept. 11 attack, the U.S. mission in Libya made repeated requests for increased security in Benghazi. The mission in Libya, however, was denied these resources by officials in Washington."
Issa, chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, opened hearings on the attack Oct. 10.
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney said the attack was a sign Obama's foreign policy was "unraveling."
During their second presidential debate, Obama accused Romney of trying to make political hay out of the deaths of four Americans, and said he found it "offensive" to suggest he or anyone in his administration would "play politics" or mislead about what happened in Benghazi.
At one point during the debate, Romney said Obama had declined to call the attack an actor of terror but -- in an iconic moment of the 2012 campaign -- he was corrected by moderator Candy Crowley, the host of CNN's "State of the Union."
"He -- he did call it an act of terror," Crowley told Romney.
By the third week of October, U.S. officials whose names were not reported were telling news organizations there was no evidence the attack was planned "days or weeks in advance."
McCain, joined by fellow Senate Republicans Lindsey Graham of South Carolina, Kelly Ayotte of New Hampshire and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, wrote to Obama at the end of October saying there was a "growing perception among many of our constituents that your administration has undertaken a concerted effort to misrepresent the facts and stonewall Congress and the American people."
In early November senior U.S. intelligence officials said the CIA, not the State Department, was the commanding agency at Benghazi mission. They said Woods and Doherty were contracted by CIA and had been part of a team that provides security to CIA case officers.
After CIA Director David Petraeus resigned Nov. 9, citing an extramarital affair, Obama critics suggested the resignation was meant to allow Petraeus to avoid testifying in closed-door congressional hearings about the Benghazi assault but Petraeus testified as scheduled.
A central question about the talking points Rice was using as a basis for her public comments was whether the White House had revised points provided by intelligence officials, but a spokesman for the Director of National Intelligence eventually said unclassified talking points used by government officials who spoke about the attack were not substantively changed by any agency outside the intelligence community.
In his first news conference following his re-election, Obama was visibly upset with McCain and Graham for accusing Rice of trying to mislead the public.
"She made an appearance [on Sunday TV talk shows] at the request of the White House, in which she gave her best understanding of the intelligence provided to her," he said. "If Senator McCain and Senator Graham and others want to go after somebody, they should go after me."
"Mr. President, don't think for one minute I don't hold you ultimately responsible for Benghazi," Graham said in response. "I think you failed as commander in chief before, during and after the attack."
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., said he opposed a resolution by McCain, Graham and Ayotte to create a special Senate committee to investigate the attack.
Following a classified briefing for members of Congress, Sen. Joe Lieberman, Ind.-Conn., said the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee can handle an investigation and the committee's top Republican, Susan Collins of Maine, concurred.
After meeting with Rice in late November, McCain, Graham and Ayotte said they had even graver doubts about her handling of the matter.
"Bottom line, I'm more disturbed now than I was before [by] the 16 September explanation about how Americans died in Benghazi, Libya, by Ambassador Rice," Graham said.
Ayotte said she would block any secretary of state nominee "until we get sufficient information" on the Benghazi matter.
"Before anyone can make an intelligent decision about promoting someone involved in Benghazi, we need to go look through a lot more," Graham said.
Rice withdrew her name from consideration as secretary of state Dec. 13, telling Obama in a letter "the confirmation process would be lengthy, disruptive, and costly -- to you and to our most pressing national and international priorities. That trade-off is simply not worth it to our country."
"While I deeply regret the unfair and misleading attacks on Susan Rice in recent weeks, her decision demonstrates the strength of her character, and an admirable commitment to rise above the politics of the moment to put our national interests first," Obama said.
An independent review of the Benghazi attack -- congressionally mandated in cases involving the killing of Americans working for the U.S. government are killed overseas -- found there were "systemic failures and leadership and management deficiencies" at the State Department, that the mission was "severely under-resourced with regard to certain needed security equipment" and there needs to be "a more serious and sustained commitment from Congress to support State Department needs."
The review board concluded the security plan for the Benghazi facility was "grossly inadequate to deal with the attack that took place."
Clinton notified congressional leaders she endorsed every one of the review board's recommendations.
The board said there was no evidence of misconduct on the part of any U.S. government employees.


text:
I think it is time to learn "how to draw a dinosaur" in a real easy and cool fashion. I drew this dinosaur yesterday while I was live and everyone liked how it came out. I think this is one of my favorite dinosaurs that I drew and I really am loving the line art. I have to thank Adobe Illustrator for those professional looking lines huh? Wow, wicked nice. Anyways, the dinosaur that I used for a reference is the Tyrannosaurus Rex. This carnivore was one of the deadliest of its kind back in the Jurassic period. When I was like eleven years old, I watched "Jurassic Park" for the first time, and that is when I really feel in love with the T-Rex as well as the Velociraptor. Drawing dinosaurs is a fun way to let your imagination go wild because you can come up with a bunch of ideas to mix the reptile with another creature like I do. My concept art comes from a variety of mixed beings, animals, reptiles, dragons and so forth. I think that if you use your imagination, you too can come up with an amazing concept character just by learning "how to draw a dinosaur step by step". I will be back momentarily with two more lessons that I think you will enjoy. For now try out this submission on a very easy and basic dinosaur called the T-Rex. Peace peeps and happy drawing!
DragoArt members upload artwork and drawing tutorials! They are also allowed to leave comments on tutorials, profiles, etc. Many more features, as well; it's way better than just being a boring guest! Register Now!


text:
Dynamic Electrocardiography
Dynamic Electrocardiography
ISBN: 978-1-405-14024-9 April 2008 Wiley-Blackwell 664 Pages
Download Product Flyer
Table of contents
1. Physiologic Background.
2. Standard Measurement of Heart Rate Variability.
3. Nonlinear Dynamics of R-R Intervals.
4. Correlations among heart rate variability: Components and automatic mechanisms.
5. Physiological Understanding of HRV Components.
6. Automatic Balance.
7. Heart Rate Variability: Stress and psychiatric conditions.
8. Circadian Rhythm of Heart Rate and Heart Rate Variability.
9. Time-frequency Analysis of Heart Rate Variability under Automatic Provocations.
10. Effects of Drugs.
11. Heart Rate Variability in Healthy Populations: Correlates and Consequences.
12. Heart Rate Variability in Ischemic Disease.
13. Heart Rate Variability in Heart Failure.
14. Heart Rate Variability in Diabetes and Neuropathies.
Section 2: Baroreflex.
15. Baroreflex: Physiologic Background.
16. Invasive Determination of Baroreflex Sensitivity.
17. Noninvasive Provocations of Baroreflex Sensitivity.
18. Analysis of the Interactions between Heart Rate and Blood Pressure Variabilities.
19. Arterial Baroreflexes in Ischaemic Heart Disease, and their role in sudden cardiac death.
20. Heart Rate Turbulence on Holter.
21. Heart Rate Turbulence in Pacing.
22. Physiologic Hypotheses on Heart Rate Turbulence.
23. Heart Rate Trbulence in Ischemic Heart Disease.
Section 3: Ischaemic Patterns.
24. Electrocardiographic Background.
25. Dynamics of Silent Ischaemia.
26. Dynamics of ST Segments in Ischaemic Heart Disease.
27. Spatial Patterns of ST-Segment Shift During Myocardial Ischaemia.
28. ST Segment Trend Monitoring of Acute Chest Pain Patients.
29. Circadian Patterns of Ischaemic Episodes.
30. Electrocardiographic Findings in Patients with Cardiovascular Syndrome X.
Section 4: Ventricular Repolarisation.
31. Cellular Basis for the Repolarization waves of the ECG.
32. Individual QT/RR Relationships.
33. Circadian Patterns of QTC Interval.
34. QT Dispersion.
35. Morphological Assessment of T Wave Patterns.
36. Circadian Pattern of T Wave Morphology.
37. QT Interval Dynamics During Exercise.
38. T Wave and QT Interval Changes Related to Myocardial Ischaemia.
39. Influence of Rhythm Abnormalities on Ventricular Repolarisation.
40. Dynamics of Acquired Long QT Syndrome.
41. Electrocardiogram of Brugada Syndrome and its Dynamic Pattern.
42. Electrocardiographic T Wave Changes in Left Ventricular Hypertrophy.
43. Macro T Wave Alternans.
44. Microscopic T Wave Alternans.
45. T Wave Alternans in Ischaemic Heart Disease.
46. Dynamic Repolarization Changes and Arrhythmia Assessment.
Section 5: Atrial Fibrillation.
47. Pathophysiology of the Atrial Fibrillation Electrogram.
48. P Wave Abnormalities Prior to AF Episodes.
49. Dynamics of Atrial Electrogram AF.
50. Detection of Paroxysmal Atrial Fibrillation Episode.
51. Circadian Pattern of AF Paroxysms.
52. Monitoring after Cardioversion of Atrial Fibrillation.
53. Heart Rate Profile in Chronic Atrial Fibrillation.
54. Monitoring Heart Rate Control in Atrial Fibrillation.
55. Autonomic Influence of Atrial Fibrillation.
56. Long Time Monitoring of Cardiac Rhythm in Patients with Atrial Fibrillation.
Section 6: Ventricular Arrhythmias.
57. Monitoring Ectopic Activity.
58. Circadian Pattern of Arrhythmic Episodes.
59. Holter Monitor-Guided Antiarrhythmic Therapy.
60. Dynamics of Heart Rate Prior to Arrhythmias.
61. Technical Considerations.
62. Ischaemic Patterns.
63. State of the Art Marker Channels.
64. Interpretation of Device Stored Rhythms and Electrocardiograms
"This book is a testament into the richness and the vitality of the electrocardiographic signal, and to the pivotal role it plays in cardiovascular care. It provides a glimpse into the future of an old tool; which appears to be very bright."
"This book is a comprehensive review of state-of-the-art knowledge in the dynamic aspects of electrocardiography."
"...this book is divided into short chapters, each written as a stand-alone statement on a particular topic or technique, making the content truly accessible."
"Illustrations are numerous and good quality".
(Doody's Notes, 2004)
- well-known and respected editors
- written by an outstanding group of electrophysiologists/physicians
- covers all the major subject areas within the field of electrocardiography
- will appeal to the entire electrophysiology community in addition to educating cardiologists with the latest information.
- a volume of incredible quality and readability


text:
Excellent service.
They do great work and really care about giving you the service you except.
They called to let me know and I gave the ok to change filter, gasket etc. They are excellent techs but above all they are...
Great service, good prices, and a true alternative to the expensive service at the Porsche dealership.
Best Porsche Mechnic in Daytona Beach!


text:
|Public Health Service
Food and Drug Administration
College Park, MD 20740
Bryan Green
c/o Powerhouse Supplements
576 Glenrose Lane
Cincinnati, OH 45244
Dear Mr. Green:
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has reviewed your web site at the address: http://www.1-supplements.net. This review shows what we believe to be violations of the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (the Act) in the labeling of your products Thermbuterol, Gut Cutter, Dymetadrine Xtreme, and 3-Andro Xtreme. You can find the Act and the dietary supplement labeling regulations through links on FDA's Internet home page at: http://www.fda.gov.
Under the Act, dietary supplement labeling may include claims about the supplement's effect on the structure or a function of the human body. To be permissible under the Act, these "structure/function" claims must be truthful and may not be misleading.
The labeling of Thermbuterol, Gut Cutter, Dymetadrine Xtreme, and 3-Andro Xtreme bears structure/function claims that include the following:
Based on the scientific data available to us, we do not believe that these claims are substantiated. If these claims do not have an adequate scientific basis, they are false or misleading and cause your products to be misbranded within the meaning of Sections 403(a)(1) and 403(r)(6)(B) of the Act. Section 301(a) of the Act prohibits the introduction or delivery for introduction into interstate commerce of any food, including a dietary supplement, that is misbranded. Section 301(k) of the Act prohibits the doing of any act with respect to a food, including a dietary supplement, if such act is done while such article is held for sale (whether or not the first sale) after shipment in interstate commerce and results in such article being misbranded. If you have data which you believe substantiates your claims, please share it with us within fifteen (15) working days of your receipt of this letter.
In addition, except for health claims authorized by FDA, claims that a dietary supplement is intended to prevent, diagnose, mitigate, treat, or cure a disease (disease claims), may cause the supplement to be an unapproved new drug. The Act prohibits the introduction of unapproved new drugs into interstate commerce. If you are making disease claims for Thermbuterol, Gut Cutter, Dymetadrine Xtreme, or 3-Andro Xtreme, please be aware that these claims may violate the Act and subject you or the products to regulatory action without further notice.
This letter is not an all-inclusive review of your web site and the products that your firm markets. It is your responsibility to ensure that all products marketed by your firm comply with the Act and its implementing regulations.
The Act authorizes the seizure of illegal products and injunctions against the manufacturers and distributors of those products. You should take prompt action to correct any violations identified in this letter. Failure to do so may result in enforcement action without further notice.
Please advise this office, in writing and within fifteen working days of receipt of this letter, as to the specific steps that you have taken to correct any violations and to assure that similar violations do not occur. If corrective action cannot be completed with fifteen working days, state the reason for the delay and the time within which the corrections will be made.
Any reply should be sent to the attention of Compliance Officer Quyen Tien at the above address.
Sincerely yours,
Joseph R. Baca
Office of Compliance
Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition
Additional materials:
This is a mirror of the page at http://www.fda.gov/bbs/topics/NEWS/ephedra/warning.html
This document was issued on February 28, 2003.
For more recent information on Dietary Supplements
See http://www.cfsan.fda.gov/~dms/supplmnt.html


text:
Eastern Wake News
Triangle Transit raises fares, adds Sunday bus service next week
Most Triangle Transit bus patrons will start paying more for their rides when the regional agency increases its fares next week, for the first time in 10 years.
And Triangle Transit will inaugurate Sunday service on a handful of routes, stepping up to a seven-day schedule for the first time in its 21-year history.
Raleigh's Capital Area Transit is preparing to follow suit with a cash fare hike from $1 to $1.25 starting Oct. 1. The city's Transit Authority set that date during its meeting Thursday, although a fare increase for Accessible Raleigh Transit – the service for people with disabilities – will be delayed until January.
For riders on Triangle Transit buses, the base cash fare will increase Monday from $2 to $2.25. Most other rates also will rise. But some commuters will find value in new 7-day passes, cheaper than Triangle Transit's old 5-day passes: $16.50 for regular routes, $22 for express buses.
Also Monday, the three-county agency will launch a new weekday, rush-hour Orange-Durham Express (ODX) bus for Durham workers who live in northern Orange and Alamance counties. The ODX bus will run to Duke Medical Center and downtown Durham from a Hillsborough park-and-ride lot at North Churton Street and U.S. 70. Next year the ODX route will be extended westward to pick up commuters in Efland and Mebane.
Triangle Transit will start Sunday operations Aug. 24 on four routes, which also will see its Saturday evening hours extended to 11 p.m.
The service expansions are being funded mostly with a half-cent sales tax dedicated to transit improvements, approved by county commissioners and voters in Orange and Durham counties. The two counties have collected the transit tax since April 2013 to pay for new bus service and design work for a planned light-rail line between UNC-Chapel Hill and downtown Durham.
Wake commissioners have delayed action on a possible transit tax. A new state law signed by the governor last week will prevent Wake voters from considering a half cent transit sales tax before 2016.
The Triangle Transit improvements are limited to Orange and Durham counties except for one: Route 100 from Raleigh to Raleigh-Durham International Airport. Along with Triangle Transit's 400, 700 and 800 buses, the Raleigh-RDU 100 bus will start running Saturday evenings and Sundays between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m.
Requests for Sunday bus service
The bus goes from Raleigh's Moore Square Transit Center to RDU, with stops along the way including N.C. State University. It also stops at the Regional Transit Center in Research Triangle Park to pick up airport patrons from Orange and Durham counties.
"Sunday service is a popular request we've gotten over the years," said John Tallmadge, Triangle Transit's commuter resources director. "We expect we'll pick up more people who are able to use the airport bus service for leisure travel, because now they have an option to return on Sunday."
The Saturday night and Sunday buses also will benefit Orange and Durham county residents who commute to restaurant and retail jobs, Tallmadge said.
"Some of the feedback we've gotten is: This is great, now I can work Sunday and get more hours in my job," he said. "Some people have had to take taxicabs to get to their jobs on Sundays."
Triangle Transit trustees considered low-income riders when they approved new rates for fares and bus passes, Tallmadge said. The discount rates offered to disabled riders will not increase, and these discounts will be extended to riders aged 13 to 18.
But free rides are ending for seniors aged 65 and over, and children aged 6 to 12. These riders now will pay the same discounted prices offered to disabled riders.
In Durham, the city council balked last year at raising fares for Durham Area Transit Authority riders, citing concern for low-income residents who depend on public transportation. The city is dipping into property tax revenue to cover increased transit operation costs.
Raleigh's CAT is gearing up for its first rate increase since 2007, to take effect Oct. 1. In addition to the quarter cash fare hike, a 31-day pass will go from $36 to $45.
Transit costs rising
Southeast Raleigh community leaders have opposed the CAT fare increases, raising equity issues around the fare-free R-Line circulator bus that CAT operates for downtown shoppers and workers, tourists, and late-night bar-hoppers. State Transportation Secretary Tony Tata had invited city officials and community representatives to discuss the R-Line at a meeting next week, but a CAT official said Thursday that the meeting has been cancelled.
Both CAT and Triangle Transit have seen their costs rise in recent years, and the share of operating expenses covered by farebox collections has fallen. Triangle Transit calculates that riders will be paying about 20 percent of the service cost – up from the current 15 to 16 percent – when the new rates take effect.
CAT's fare increase will generate $347,593 this fiscal year and $576,534 next year. The Raleigh Transit Authority voted Thursday to spend the money on service improvements, adding more frequent midday trips along Falls of Neuse Road and running buses on holidays.
CAT and Triangle Transit also have announced plans to raise their rates again in 2016. They're expecting to spend a lot more money in coming years whenever it comes time to replace old buses with new ones.
In the past, the local share of bus replacement costs was usually only 10 percent. But both the state and federal governments have cut spending and changed their formulas for providing help with new bus purchases.
"We're expecting to have to pick up about 75 percent of the cost of vehicle replacement," Tallmadge said. "That's our rationale for raising fares at this point – so as not to have to raise them even higher down the road, to catch up with this new expense."
Staff writer Colin Campbell contributed to this report.


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Damon Johnson: Dial Up
Damon Johnson: Dial Up
The background for this piece is vintage comics pasted to a 12 inch by 12 inchcanvas. The piece itself is created with acrylic paint.
In addition to painting on canvas, metal, plastic, and Plexiglas, Johnson has remained true to his early beginnings in recent years by completing commissioned paintings and murals inside of nightclubs such as Quo, Pink Elephant, NA, Plumm, Eleven, Go-Go, Retox, and Webster Hall. He has completed murals for Design Within Reach, The Surf Lodge in Montauk, and the U.S. OPEN in Queens.
Johnson's work has been displayed in such galleries as Mark Murray Fine Arts, Factory Fresh, Bent, Sotheby's, Half Gallery, and The New Museum. Press features and favorable reviews have appeared in such publications as Gotham Magazine, Radar, Zink, SOS, Hampton's Magazine, The City Review, The Daily News, Forbes Magazine, The New York Post, The New York Observer and The New York Times. His work is in the permanent collection of the Patterson, Hamilton, and Chelsea Art Museums.


text: These are brief, webcast-style presentations based on slides and audio that are shown next to the article on ScienceDirect. This format gives authors the opportunity to explain their research in their own words and promote their work. For readers, it's a great way to quickly learn what a paper is about and why it might be of interest. For more information and to view the gallery, please visit http://www.elsevier.com/audioslides.


text:
Jesus met people's spiritual and practical needs, and since each church is called to be 'the body of Christ', we're privileged to be his hands and feet in meeting people in our church and city at their point of need. Take a look at our many different ministries which serve the different ages, stages and needs of our community.
Ministry Categories
If you've yet to join one of our many ministries, this is a place for you to explore what we have available to you.


text:
OMAHA, Neb. (MarketWatch) — Berkshire Hathaway Chairman and Chief Executive Warren Buffett thinks Wal-Mart Stores Inc. mishandled its Mexico bribery scandal, but his opinion of the retailer has not changed for the worse.
"It may well result in a significant fine, but it doesn't' change the fundamental dynamics of the company," said Buffett during the question-and-answer segment of Berkshire Hathaway's annual shareholders meeting on Saturday.
The New York Times reported in April that Wal-Mart WMT, -0.63% relied on bribery of government officials to support rapid growth in Mexico and that top executives were aware of the allegations.
In the wake of the allegations, Wal-Mart has appointed a global compliance officer who will ensure that the company's business around the world is in compliance with the U.S. Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.
"I don't think there is something fundamentally dishonest about Wal-Mart," added Charlie Munger, vice chairman of Berkshire Hathaway.
Buffett also said he doesn't think Wal-Mart will be materially affected by the bribery scandal five years from now, but noted that it is a major diversion of management time.
Berkshire Hathaway BRK.A, -0.57% BRK.B, -0.71% owned a 1.1% stake in Wal-Mart at the end of 2011.


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European shares edge lower in last half-session before Christmas
EUROPEAN shares closed provisionally lower in a thin last trading session before the Christmas break today with investors opting to trim positions in the absence of a resolution to US budget talks.
French, Dutch, Spanish and UK markets traded for only half the session while those in Germany, Italy, Austria, Greece, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland were closed.
The FTSEurofirst 300 closed down 0.1 percent, at 1,138.14 points, still just a few points shy of an 19-month high of 1,144.15 hit last week.
"There are very few people in the office and most of the business being done is trimming positions after some decent year-end gains," a London-based trader said.
The euro zone's blue chip Euro STOXX 50 index and France's CAC 40, which are trading around 16-month highs, closed down 0.1 percent and 0.2 percent respectively. Spain's IBEX finished up 0.1 percent and Britain's FTSE 100 index was up 0.2 percent; they are both at around 9-month highs.
Rebecca O'Keeffe, head of investment at Interactive Investor, said the march higher was largely the result of investors betting US policymakers will avoid the so-called fiscal cliff and that Europe's debt crisis is abating.
After shunning European assets most of the year because of fears the crisis would lead to a break-up of the euro zone, investors have shown appetite for European stocks recently, according to EPFR Global data.
But momentum has been stalled by concerns over the talks between US Democrats and Republicans to avoid around $600 billion in automatic tax hikes and spending cuts that could drag the world's biggest economy back into recession.
"Events last week highlight the yawning gap that still remains between the Republicans and Democrats and suggest that investor optimism may be misplaced," Interactive Investor O'Keeffe said.
The majority of sectors ended in negative territory, but media shares managed a 0.3 percent rise boosted by M&A activity at London-listed broadcaster ITV.
ITV rose 0.6 percent after announcing the purchase of a 61.5 percent stake in U.S.-based Gurney Productions, which makes reality programmes.


text:
In one recent discussion, a good lady, Dogly, said this about me:
"It is just that Madhukar seems to be trying to find a common set of beliefs or opinions among us all. I'm trying to convince him that that is impossible."
Earlier, she had hardly participated in the several discussions posted by me but seems to have observed me from distance, because her observation is accurate.
My reply was obvious:
"I do not, cannot and will not deny that I would be very happy to evolve some commonalities in atheist character,"
I feel most annoyed when an atheist says that 'atheism is nothing more and nothing less than not believing in god.' I also find some opposition to me when I say that atheism is an ideal. This may be a result of a fear that calling atheism an ideal will turn it into an ideology, which, indeed, is to be feared! However, there is some difference between an ideal and ideology. To me, atheism is an ideal that every intellectual should try to achieve. Attaining this ideal would be the best proof of an intellectual's intellectualism. This is supported by the result of a recent discussion that finally seems to have established that atheism is based on knowledge and not on ignorence.
Likewise, I strongly believe that there should be something like an "Atheist Identity" that should distinguish an atheist from the rest of the people, by his character. The religious faithful often try to say that being an atheist is being immoral. Why should anyone try to attach such labels to us? Why should it not be obvious to others that being an atheist gives some good attributes to one's personality?
Aren't there enough good qualities that all atheists can posses and that can be attributed to atheism? Whatever be the answer, it will not deter me from finding such a common character.
Views: 1073
So what I' trying to say is that your good qualities will define you, just as your bad qualities. Only hope your good heavily outweighs your bad, as I'm sure they do. Then you will shine by example, and that will be attributed to atheism.
Atheists seem to uthink that renouncing god and religion means renouncing everything that was said to be good. Two persons have given examples of their "adorable" culture. My mother must have been a retrograde person compared to their adorable culture. She not only told me to use any bad word, but, once I received a beating from her for lying!
How can anyone say that this would make a society a bod one? On the contrary I want to ask, will such character not make a society a better place for living? Not uttering a foul word in front of a lady is sexism! Of course, you can always give a bad name to good things to hide your bad character.
Sir, your views supporting character are an oassis in this characterless desert. Many many thanks. I hope it will dawn soon on the atheists that it is only good to exhibit good character.
In my experience people's character exists independent of labels and systematization.
What you say is correct on a personal level. Communities too need to display some character. Atheist Nexus calls itself a community. I have often argued that we can not deal with theists without displaying some character. You have put forth your view in a decent manner. Please go through entire earlier discussion and you will easily see that atheists will need to show better character if they have to be able to convince others that their position is not immoral.
"Taking a contrarian position is easy and you have turned it in to an art."
Needle bending irony...
"You keep asking for prooof while your own arguments are without proof and many times are illogical too."
I (and many others) keep backing up my arguments and counter-arguments with substance, justification, real-world examples and reasoning. Here (yet again) you offer a "contrarian position", you do not justify it, you do not point out any errors of reasoning or logic, you just say "no, you're wrong" and that's it, you have yet to address "why" you disagree other than you "don't agree".
"What can be achived in such a discussion?
Actually, as I've addressed (and you have yet to respond), the authoritarian ideas of subjective conformity of character and exclusion you espouse are not just offensive, they're dictatorial. You've made it clear that you're "annoyed" by world-views other than your own, and you offer nothing but dismissive epithets "good character vs bad character" and closed-minded notions of morality based entirely on subjectivity that seems steeped in elitist classism.
Sound familiar? I've also just tabled a pretty good description of religious fundamentalism.
Wow, either we agree with your narrow ideological and classist subjectivism, or we achieve nothing?
Let's examine how you deal with dissent, shall we, ...as an ad hoc meta analysis?
In 1972, when I was 36 years old, I return to college for my sophomore year. I had a terrible time doing all the reading, and keeping up with schedules and statistics was giving me fits. I had already failed one class and was taking it over. I had three nine-year old children to care for and the responsibilities of an army officer's wife to fulfill, as well. I kept falling behind, getting more and more desperate, and one day a very young man, with dreadlocks sat down beside me in the library. He was a classmate about 19 years old. He asked if he could help me with my studies. We worked together, I got caught up, and completed the required work and earned an A in stats.
I had perceived this young man as a scoundrel, an "unacceptable" person with strange hair; and he was my kindest, compassionate, most thoughtful friend. Now I tend to presume all people with dreadlocks have character such as his. Both stereotypes are risky.
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Gay suspended 1 year, returns Olympic silver medal
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (AP) — Sprinter Tyson Gay accepted a one-year suspension Friday after testing positive for a banned substance nearly a year ago and returned the silver medal he won in the men's 400-meter relay at the 2012 London Olympics.
The US Anti-Doping Agency announced that Gay's one-year ban began June 23, the day his sample was collected at the U.S. championships. His sanction is subject to appeal by International Association of Athletic Federations (IAAF) and by the World Anti-Doping Agency, USADA said Friday.
As part of the penalty, Gay, the American record-holder in the 100, also accepted loss of results dating to July 15, 2012, the date of when he first used a product that contained a banned substance. He was a member of the relay team at the London Games that finished second to a Jamaican team anchored by Usain Bolt. The Americans set a national record with a time of 37.04 seconds. Gay has given his medal back to the United States Olympic Committee.
USADA said in a statement that upon receiving notification of his positive tests, Gay voluntarily withdrew from all competition prior to the 2013 world championships in Moscow and has not competed since.
The 31-year-old Gay could've been given a penalty twice as long, but received consideration after assisting USADA in the investigation into his positive test. USADA said he tested positive for the presence of an exogenous androgenic anabolic steroid.
"We appreciate Tyson doing the right thing by immediately withdrawing from competition once he was notified, accepting responsibility for his decisions, and fully and truthfully cooperating with us in our ongoing investigation into the circumstances surrounding his case," USADA CEO Travis Tygart said in a statement.
Gay was at the top of his game at the 2007 world championships in Osaka, Japan, capturing gold in the 100, 200 and 400 relay. That was just before the emergence of Bolt, who's dominated the sprint scene ever since.
Meanwhile, Gay has dealt with one injury after another, including strained groins, hamstring tightness and hip surgery. He set the American 100 record in 2009 when he finished in 9.69 seconds. Bolt has the world record at 9.58.
Before last season, Gay's test results never raised any red flags. He even took part in USADA's "My Victory" program — in which athletes volunteer for enhanced testing to prove they're clean.
He tested positive out of competition last May. A month later, Gay recorded a positive at the U.S. championships, where he won the 100 and 200 meters, and was notified. He surrendered his spot at worlds.
Gay said at the time: "I don't have a sabotage story. I don't have any lies. I don't have anything to say to make this seem like it was a mistake or it was on USADA's hands, someone playing games."
In a statement released by USA Track and Field, CEO Max Siegel said the organization is "gravely disappointed any time an athlete uses performance-enhancing drugs, and Tyson Gay's case serves as a lesson about the consequences of making poor decisions. We appreciate that Tyson accepted responsibility and has assisted USADA by providing information to help battle the use of PEDs."
There are no major international meets in track this summer, but U.S. championships will be held June 26-29 in Sacramento, California. And while Gay could become eligible for that meet, the disqualification of his results dating to 2012 has taken away his qualifying time for the meet. He could petition the track and field committee for consideration, but USATF has said it hasn't received such a petition yet.
Gay has until June 16 to enter a petition in order to gain entry into the meet.


text:
As the title says, well: antialiasing.
What did you do to TM2 Stadium? Why did you remove MSAA used in all previous TM versions and instead use the absolutely horrible FXAA? Since Trackmania Nations ESWC I've been playing all the TM games and enjoying the absolutely brilliant image quality and clarity of the games. In fact, this is a game that needs tons of AA in order to avoid being a jaggy mess, pretty much what it is now. There's very little difference between enabling and disabling FXAA. I understand FXAA has its uses and all, but offering FXAA only is...
Are there any plans to fix this mess and offer the option to use MSAA and its fantastic quality like in previous TM games? Or are we stuck with FXAA?
Discuss anticipation, facts and video's of the newly announced Trackmania 2 game!
Post Reply
1 post • Page 1 of 1
Post Reply
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PGA Logo
Wargo, age 67, shares Montreal lead with Cochran after both shoot 65s
By Associated Press
Published on
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tom Wargo shot a 7-under 65 -- the first time he has bettered his age in Champions Tour play -- for a share of the first-round lead Friday in the inaugural Montreal Championship. The 67-year-old Wargo, the former PGA Club Professional from Centralia, Ill., who won the last of his four Champions Tour titles in 2000, had a bogey-free round at Fontainebleau Golf Club to match Russ Cochran atop the leaderboard and also tie the course record. "All you're trying to do is put a score on the board and whatever it is, if it's low and matches your age, that's something to yap about, I guess," Wargo said. "It's nice to have one on the board because I haven't been playing very good. "I'm going to retire. The I'm going to plant a tomato patch and a few watermelons and some sweet corn." Jay Don Blake, Joey Sindelar, John Cook, Tom Purtzer, Jay Haas and James Mason opened with 66s in warm, sunny conditions. Corey Pavin, who last Sunday was a stroke from winning a PGA Tour event but lost in a playoff to Bubba Watson, had a 68. Fred Couples, a three-time winner in his first season on the 50-and-over tour, shot a 69. Wargo's bogey-free round was his lowest since 2007. "I haven't been playing really good in the last three or four years," he said. "Fiddling around trying to make beer money is all I'm trying to do. "I've been slacking off and dropping my schedule down because at 67, you're going down that other side of the hill pretty fast and I want to do some other things with my life before I hit the bottom. I found out there's two parts to life -- young and skinny, and old and fat. So take it from there." The 51-year-old Cochran caddied for Wargo years ago in Kentucky. "What I remember about Tom is how he loved to play golf," Cochran said. "We had a tournament there and you could call Tom and say, 'It's going to cost you $100 to get in and you can only win $200, but do you want to come?' He'd say, 'Yeah, I'll be there.' He has a good, hearty personality and he had a good time after the round." Wargo only played a handful of PGA Tour events before joining the seniors, but Cook said he is one of the non-tour regulars he "thoroughly enjoys" being around. "He's 67-years-old and he looks like he could take all of us into a room and beat us to a pulp," Cook said with a laugh. "I love him. "And to see him not only matching his age but blowing right by it -- where else in the world could you see that happen?"


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Ursula Coyote/AMC
Bryan Cranston as Walter White in "Breaking Bad."
Warning: Spoilers ahead!
Believe it or not, on last week's "Breaking Bad," we saw the end of grandfatherly distribution king Mike. After deciding he wanted out of the meth-making and distributing game, a series of unfortunate events, most of which resulted from pissing Walt off, saw Walt pulling the trigger on his on-again, off-again partner in crime. Can this show get any bleaker? (Probably.)
What We Learned
Getting rid of Mike's body: Well, whoever thought Mike would one day be getting the disappearing-a-body-treatment from Walt? If ever there was any question of Walt's total transformation into power-hungry badass, look no further than this episode -- the season finale of the first half of season 5. (That's right -- this season is split up into two parts, and now we have to wait months to see just how badly this whole thing goes for everyone.) Anyway, Jesse waltzes in to Walt's makeshift meth office, and it's confirmed: Walt wants nothing to do with Jesse. If you're out, you're out.
Heisenberg International: Now that Mike's out of the picture, someone needs to shut up the 10 people who know too much about the multimillion dollar meth empire. But Walt and Jesse don't even know the names of the people who could destroy them. Only one person does -- Lydia. So Walt goes for coffee with the ever-jittery Lydia. She's no dummy, and she's aware that once she gives this info to Walt, there's really no reason for him to keep her around. So she makes a plan: She can help Walt distribute internationally. That's right, to the Czech Republic, where 5 percent of the population uses meth, she says. And Walt is totally down, because he has made a habit of following the big money. But how easy could it be?
And now it's time to watch a bunch of prisoners get stabbed to death: Now with names in hand, Walt goes to Todd's (the new Jesse) criminal uncle for a bit of help with murdering people. That's right -- Walt's putting out a hit on 10 men, all of whom know too much. In an incredibly gruesome but awesomely-directed scene, we see these men stabbed and beaten, lit on fire, and just generally have the blood beaten out of them. It's the type of disgusting scene "Breaking Bad" does best. But it makes you wonder: Does Walt have a chance? Just think of how convoluted this thing has become. Turns out cooking and distributing meth can get kind of messy. Who knew?
Aren't they all OMG Moments on Breaking Bad?
Can you take your kids back, Skyler?: Walt is back in the swing of things with meth making, and once again everything seems clean and tidy. So here comes Marie, who notes Skyler's new-found and oddly unexplained happiness: She wants Skyler and Walt to take their kids back. It's been 3 months, and it's time. Repair the family, she tells her. So Skyler goes home to Walt. She drives him to a storage locker, opens it, and to his surprise, he's introduced to the whole of his earnings: a massive, uncountable pile of money. "More than we could spend in ten lifetimes," says Skyler. She can't launder it, because there's too much of it. She can't even keep up. "How much is enough?" she asks. She wants her kids back.
Now Walt's out too: It's like this meth making thing isn't sustainable, or something. Walt drops by Jesse's place, and together they have a cute little reminiscing session -- remember back in the old mobile meth lab days? Things were real quaint then! -- and then Walt leaves, but not before giving Jesse bags and bags of money. Some gift. This all comes, mind you, after an ominous shot of Walt receiving a cancer scan. Who knows how that went -- we won't find out until the second half of this season. After visiting with Jesse, Walt returns home to Skyler, and delivers some big news: "I'm out," he says. I'm out." And now we just have to wait and see. Is it possible for Walt to be out? Well, not quite. Hank and Marie come over for a nice little barbecue. Hank takes a trip to the bathroom, and what does he find? A book. A book gifted to Walt by someone who goes by G.B. -- Gale Boetticher, Walt's one-time assistant back in the Fring days. And, suddenly, everything makes sense to Hank. As he sits on the toilet, it all just clicks. Life makes sense for Hank again. And Walt? Well, things aren't looking so peachy.
"Breaking Bad" and "Mad Men," Emmy faves
"This is what I do--I move things across the globe, from Point A to Point B." -- Lydia
"Lydia, learn to take 'yes' for an answer." -- Walt
"We're going to make a lot of money together." -- Lydia
"Even whacking Bin Laden wasn't this complicated." -- Todd's murderous uncle
"Maybe the best way to repair the family is to...repair the family." -- Marie
"How big does this pile have to be?" -- Skyler
"I'm out. I'm out." -- Walt
Did Walt's decision shock you? Let us know what you think on Facebook!
Related content:
- Micky Dolenz 'torn' over use of Monkees song in 'Breaking Bad'
- Walter White wanted for meth production in Alabama
- Exclusive 'Breaking Bad' photo: Jesse and Mike face off
- Meth dealers, DEA give 'Breaking Bad' thumbs up for reality
- Dish Network: Miss AMC? get your 'Breaking Bad' on iTunes
More in The Clicker:


text:
Alright, been gone from a long hiatus. I've just been hella busy. I always felt guilty neglecting this. I know I've always said I'll come back to it, but never found the will and the free time these days. I'm usually just caught up with other projects, busy with work, and just flat out busy with my social life.
I'm an Instagram addict, so if you want to see cars, girls, and random bullshit like you have on this site; then feel free to add me. Click the link below to add me!


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Naked mole rat
|Naked Mole Rat
|Relationship status
|Chirpsing Tewance
|NMR FTW w0000000!!!
|God, Him, Awesomeness incarnate.
|Eternal Creators of Everything Except the Things They Didn't Create
|Home Planet
|Planet GWARRGGHHH (NMRian for "Legendary")
|Home Base on Earth
|East Africa/the Whitehouse
|TOTAL AND UTTER DOMINATION!!!! Plus some beer. LOTS of beer.
|The Great Naked Mole Rat (also known as just the Naked Mole Rat)
|Arch Nemesis
|The Flying Spagetti Monster/ Anti-Rat spray
|Favorite Food
|Spagetti Bolognase on toast with jelly.
|Special abilities
|Sub-zero temperature rays, x-ray sense of smell, REALLY BIG TEETH, invulnerable to kryptonite unless thrown, sheer awesomeness on toast with jelly
Naked Mole Rats (or Nudist Mole Rats) are small, goddamn-ugly rodents found in east Africa[1]. They spend their entire lives underground. They're also awesomely powerful overlord-like GODS. They have long front teeth and wrinkly, hairless skin (bizzarrely, they can't actually feel pain inflicted on this skin, meaning that it is quite acceptable to stick a knife straight through their tails, and then watch them wriggle in bemused frustration as they try to escape, not realising that their tails are stuck to the floor.)
- 1 Bwianna
- 2 Tewance
- 3 Theology
- 4 The Religion
- 5 How to Best Follow the Naked Mole Rat
- 6 Less Conventional Uses of Naked Mole Rats
- 7 What a Naked Mole Rat Can Kill
- 8 What Can Kill a Naked Mole Rat
- 9 Naked Mole Tards
- 10 Afterlife
- 11 The Benefits of Huffing
- 12 NMR's in Famous Literature
- 13 Numbers
- 14 The Norris and the ANTI-Norris
- 15 The APOCALYPSE 0.o
Bwianna unlike her fellow NMR's is quite the smexy one. Although she has a penis she is widely believed to be the bestest NMR in the whole NMR world, especially by Tewance. Bwianna doesn't associate herself with other NMR's, instead she has befriended Tewance, her best piggy friend; Bwianna like's tewance's lil' red boots. Bwianna by nature makes joke's about Tewance's squirtle and in return Tewance makes joke's about Bwianna's Lulu (NMR rat vagina) in retaliation. Many find it hard to believe that Bwianna has a spethal hidden talent, Bwianna rapes fellow NMR's all the time but her favourite victim is Tewance. Bwianna rapes Tewance so much he squeals his heart out, yet it is to no avail since Bwianna simply carries on raping him. All in all, Bwianna is a very spethal, unique, self confessed funny, mole rat whom Tewance loves more than anything and any other NMR.
Tewance is a baby pig (i know what you're all thinking, he doesnt even go here!) and you would be right, except he has been accepted by your totally hot NMR queen.. Bwianna (all hail). Tewance brings Bwianna an immense amount of pleasure, simply by not letting her play with his best bud squirtle (obvs in other ways you dirty populace, but a queen never kisses and tells). Bwianna loves games. Tewance knows that it amuses Bwianna no end when he plays hard to get, because deep down, he obviously knows she will outsmart him and get her way.. everytime.. she is the queen after all. Bwianna loves it when Tewance squeals, because it means that she will have properly done her job as the most bangin' queen biatch mole in all the land. Tewance isnt very funny, but thinks he is.. which is funny in itself and makes Bwianna laugh.. what a paradox! Tewance loves oil and freezing cold water, especially on his balls, which, makes him writhe with pleasure. Queen Bwianna loves her best piggin' bud Tewance, especially on thursdays (which yes, everyone would recognize this as opposite day, so to clarify to all who are reading this on opposite day, please read as "Bwianna hates Tewance, hates oil, hates Thursdays, hates squirtle, hates Tewances hair and nippies and red boots") Together Tewance and Bwianna could rule the world. (Tewance would wear a smexy cape, but thats not the point) Tewance is the best pig a small town NMR could ask for. Vote for Tewance.. because he smells like peppermint (just a Mean Girls reference that embodies Tewance) Bwianna loves Tewance more than mean girls
The Naked Mole Rat (called God by Christians) created the universe as the result of a bet with the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster) foolishly believed that he could make the awesomest super-ultra-mega-incrediblest being. The FSM made a ninja...and the NMR made Chuck Norris. The resulting fight was of course absolutely awesome, so awesome in fact that it can never be fully documented or else the reader's head would implode, then explode with the force of several Nuclear bombs. We can, however, say that it ended, naturally, with Chuck Norris giving the ninja a full-powered roundhouse kick to the head. This phenomenon is sometimes nicknamed the "Big Bang".
"And he cameth, and he created beer from the urineth of the champion [Chuck Norris], and all other artifacts of incredibilitee." -Prophecies of the NMR, dictated by the prophet Dislexius
And thus, the FSM was forced to allow the NMR to create a race of sentient beings in His divine image. But the NMR instead decided to create a creature LIKE, but far UGLIER than Himself... the human. See, the NMR thought it would be hilarious to make an animal that thought it was superior, but was ACTUALLY completely stupid and hideous. Turns out, Naked Mole Rats are actually extremely beatiful; its the HUMANS that are disgustingly ugly. Watching them stumble around for 80 years or so trying to discern the mysteries of the universe, then getting their kids in on the act really cracks Him up. And so it goes on through the generations. For every mystery "solved", two more pop up, and yet they still think that all the knowledge of everything will be theirs in a matter of time. A very...long...time...This proves the idiocy of the human and the ingeniousness of the NMR.
The story of the first humans (Adam and Eve) really isn't as tragic as the Bible portrays it (not surprising, as the Bible is actually the script for a movie which is under development, and depicts the life of the NMR in exaggerated fashion to make it interesting). Adam and Eve were kept in the NMR's underground dwelling, a Utopia of awesomeness and all-round good stuff. One day, they went outside (onto the surface) to grab some beer for the NMR and themselves, but when they reached the Lake of Beer, prophecised place of legends, Adam decided that it would be sensible to just drink it all now. Thus, they got so absolutely pissed that they both forgot all about their ruling deity and his underground abode. Naturally, Eve was knocked up as a result of the Big Binge, and as a punishment for drinking all the beer, the NMR invented marriage and Adam, to his eternal despair, had to live with her... FOREVER. And so they multiplied and created science to explain the universe. Idiots.
The final twist to the story of Creation resulted on April Fool's day, 187 BC, when the NMR kidnapped the FSM in his sleep and FED him to the Italians, thus inducing humiliation of an ubearable degree. The FSM suddenly woke up and was so shocked he asploded, resulting in spaghetti rain for DAYS. And so, the recipe for spaghetti bolognase was given to humanity. To the huge amusement of the NMR.
The Religion[edit]
Naked Mole Ratism is a religion followed by billions of humans around the world. It is, in fact, every single one of the monotheistic religions all at once, as the God which christians/Jews/Catholics/Muslims/Just-about-everyone-else worship is actually just the NMR anyway.
"...And he izzeth the master of all, and of creation, and of ya Mum, and all of the pleasures of which she granteth upon me ev'ry Friday...And Saturday...And Sunday..."
The religion has three separate followings. Most follow one of them, although the most devout follow all three.
They are:
1. The Power of the Nakedness
The Power of the Nakedness resides in its effects of extreme embarrassment upon all who choose this path. It has no real point whatsoever, but you DO get to take all your clothes off whenever you feel like it, and you won't be judged. Except by everyone who sees you. And everyone who hears about it. But other than that, you're fine.
2. The Will of the Mole
Followers of The Will of the Mole usually enjoy digging holes, getting underground, that sorta stuff. There are not many monks left that follow this discipline, as the ones that previously did have been slandered by many Heathens and compared to "dogs" and, even worse, "miners". The Will of the Mole is recommended to those who have previously followed the teachings of the Power of Nakedness, as a way to hide from the mockery of the outside world.
3. The Influence of the Rat
Any who deny the awesomess of that most awesome creature, theNaked Mole Rat, are surely heathen FSM worshippers, and should be incinerated/huffed upon sight. This is the influence of the Rat. Chuck Norris has long been an NMRian and will deal with the infidels personally. Enough said.
Follow those protocols in order to truly love the NMR in all His awesomeness-on-toast-with-jelly.
How to Best Follow the Naked Mole Rat[edit]
Well, so you've heard about how awesome this religion is. You really want to join, but, alas, you don't want to bother going to church etc., which is supposedly what is required to follow God/NMR. Good news! It isn't actually required AT ALL. To please the NMR, all that is required is that you go out and buy a heap of spaghetti. Then ya gotta eat it, and thus show complete, total and utter disrespect for the FSM and his followers. HOWEVER... if you plan to REALLY get into the spirit of NMRicness, you need to run around naked in the street, screaming about an incoming apocolypse. E.g.: The SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!
Mass hysteria MUST BE ACHIEVED or the Great NMR will see your failure. If you fail then you have NO chance of becoming an NMR in your afterlife.
This generally doesn't achieve any higher level of enlightenment or anything... it just delights the NMR. But hey, if you're Christian you already devoted your lives to him anyways, right?
ANYWAY... for all you followers of Islam, suicide bombing and racial genocide ARE NOT REQUIRED. Unless you want to.
Oh, you do?
In that case, feel free!
It's a little known fact that all door-to-dor salesmen are followers of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and must be killed on sight. Lawyers too. For this purpose, every single NMRian that does the chicken dance naked on a street corner at rush hour will receive one COMPLETELY FREE shotgun/rocket launcher/black hole generator. Use liberally! And remember. Politicians, too, were made to be sucked into a black hole/shot to pieces with a shotgun/asploded via a rocket launcher. Not because they follow the FSM, it's just that nobody likes them.
Not convinced that the NMR exists? Here is an equation.
As you can see, this equation obviously proves the NMR's existence BEYOND all reasonable doubt. So there.
Less Conventional Uses of Naked Mole Rats[edit]
Well, hehe, if you're one of those few mentally challenged individuals who STILL put faith in the FSM instead of the NMR, then you're obviously mentally infirm. So here's a list all you crazy heretics will LOVE!
Ways to COMPLETELY, TOTALLY AND UTTERLY disrespect the NMR's include:
1. Huffing them. Seriously, try it.
2. The NMR Star. This is achievable by placing five or more of them in a circle with their tails pointing in, with the tips overlapping. Then shoving a drawing pin straight through those tips. They won't really feel it at all but if you bump the table then the sound of it will scare them enough to make them run... While they're still pinned down. It's just funny to watch them all scrabbling in opposite directions, going absolutely nowhere. Anyways... the resulting mole-rat panic should result in countless hours of fun, ending only when they all drop dead. For even MORE fun, feed and water them regularly. Another use of this "Mole-Rat Star" is that by placing teeny-weeny treadmills beneath them, you can generate power, too!
- Note: this concept also works with mouses.
3. Freezing them. This has the added advantage of making them super-weapons. Merely grab a frozen one by the tail and throw it at your worst enemy/stab someone with it's long incisor teeth. Then just leave the NMR protruding from the vistims chest as they lie twitching on the floor. Soon the NMR will thaw out, and it'll burrow underground... LEAVING NO TRACE.
- Note: NMR's are actually the favoured weapon of ninjas, as NMR's allow ninjas to practice this process without having to freeze them.
"An NMR to the chest a day keeps the doctor away! But not the undertaker."-Mr Optimism
4. The NMR Flail. Exactly the same as the NMR Star, except that the tail-pin must be driven into the end of a stick so that the NMR's may be swung about the users head. Then bashed into a wall. Repetitively. Alternatively, the flail can be used as a weapon.
- Note: Mouses, once again, can also be used. This practice is known as o.O Mouses on a sticks O.o
"Hooo-ee! I got myself a mouses on a sticks, Ma! Huh ha!"-Billy-Ray on NMR's
NOTE THE SPELLING OF MOUSES. According to the source of all awesomness (The NMR) they should be called mouses, not mice. Mouses sounds a heap better. It's true. Say it with me! MOUSES!
5. Doorstops. Wedge their buck teeth under a door and watch 'em squirm, while keeping the door nice and shut to maintain a nice warm room/torturing zone.
6. The Hilarity Manouver. All you need to do for this is put a nice foaming glass of beer on one side of a glass wall, and put the NMR on the other. The NMR will be overcome by sheer love of beer and charge at it, regardless of any barriers (e.g. glass wall). As a result, he/she/banana will repetitively charge the glass. It's REALLY funny to watch.
- Note: Most people believe NMR's are blind. The reality is, their underground lair is absolutely STACKED with alcohol, and any time a human finds one, it's normally absolutely PISSED. They're literally blind-DRUNK.
7. The Drop-Punt. Take a naked mole rat and kick it. Repetitively!
8. Chasing Zemmiphobics. Zemmiphobics are people with an irrational fear of the Naked Mole Rat. Actually, it's extremely rational, I mean, those things are seriously DEFORMED. Anyway... simply grab an NMR and bash a zemmiphobic on the head with it. GUARANTEED freak out EVERY time!
- Note: also works on teenage girls.
What a Naked Mole Rat Can Kill[edit]
1. Ninjas. But ninjas are cool, so they dont. Unless they want to.
2. Grues. Yup, it's a fact.
3. Naked Mole Retards. More about them later.
4. Humans. Duh.
6. Death.But then, EVERYONE can do that.
7. Juuust about everything else.
What Can Kill a Naked Mole Rat[edit]
1. Anti-Rat Spray. Invented by the FSM's minions, this spray is super-compressed politicians in a can. NMR's, being pure awesomeness, implode on contact with so much anti-awesomeness (politicians are 100% ANTI-AWESOME).
2. Whak-A-Mole hammers.
3. Chuck Norris (that's a given) but he won't. EVER. So forget about it!
4. Minjas (midget ninjas).
5. A grain of sand. But only when it's taken from the centre of the Australian desert and imbedded in a lump of supercharged kryptonite which is then attached to the end of a javellin which is then loaded into a spring-loaded launcher and fired at an exact 187-degree angle into a panel of glass from the whitehouse and THEN into a nuclear reactor before ricochetting into a large albanian woman who ABSOLUTELY MUST stumble back 17 steps before collapsing above an NMR's burrow while singing the New Zealand national anthem and dancing the maccarena. Keep in mind, the javellin MUST puncture the burrow, fall through and impale an NMR. THEN the NMR has a 0.00187% chance of death, and a 99.9813% chance of turning into an unstoppable demi-god with the power to level cities in a single twitch of a whisker.
Try it at home!
6. Mythbusters. Don't ask. It's pretty messy.
"Today on Mythbusters, we'll be testing that age old myth-- is it possible to kill a naked mole rat with merely a bottletop and several thousand tonnes of plastic explosive?"-Jamie Hyneman, on the set of Mythbusters
Ughh. You HAD to ask.
7. Suicide.
"If a naked mole rat kills itself, then it will be dead."- Captain Obvious
8. Anti-Bully Spray When that spaghetti monster just can't take it anymore.
Naked Mole Tards[edit]
Naked Mole Retards (Naked Mole Tards for short) are the teensy-weensy relatives of the Naked Mole Rat. As is a well known fact, the FSM created Midgits. One day, a small and unfortunate group of NMR's were captured by the FSM and warped by his evil pasta sauce to become... MIDGET MOLE RATS. They soon became known as the Naked Mole Tards, and they rebelled against the noble NMR's. THEY were the creators of the Anti-Rat Spray, which soon became the FSM's primary weapon in the fight against the NMR's. Now, the NMT's (Naked Mole Tards) have multiplied, and endanger all that we as devout NMRians hold dear. However, they ARE retarded, and no one really has THAT much to fear from a bunch of 5cm long rodents that just sit in one place and drool all day. ALL THE SAME, their drool/excrement stains the carpet, and thus they should be removed at a leisurely pace.
In light of this, the NMR's have united to create the ultra-mega-mole-manglers, or UMMM. This elite fighting corps specialises in eliminating, well... retards. They employ uber distraction methods like pretending to rip off the retard's snouts and yelling "Got ya nose!" to render the NMT's helpless, blubbering heaps. This also works on George W bush. After this, they transport the tards to a convenient cliff and roll a nickel off it. Then they let the NMT's stumble off the aforementioned cliff in chase of the coin. Evil, huh?
This phenomenon (NMT's falling off cliffs in their hundreds) only EVER takes place in the Northern climates, and as a result, many so-called eloquent people believed that LEMMINGS (the only native rodent of the area) were the ones who did the jumping. But ANYONE with half a brain knows that lemmings can fly, so if they jumped off the cliff, they could just soar back up to the top. Humans are pretty stupid.
Sometimes, the NMR's themselves (particularly members of UMMM) indulge in "less conventional uses" of the NMT's, like huffing them or making NMT Stars.
The theory of the afterlife in NMRicness is one of total awesomeness. Those most devout humans that follow the NMR come back as Naked Mole Rats themselves, to live the most incredibly great life physically possible. However, those that followed with middling devoutness still get to live in Ratopia ( the most incredibly great place physically possible) but remain in their human form. But this has its advantages. For instance, the Naked Mole Rollympics are held VERY regularly, in which the main event is the Naked Mole Roll (hence the name of the competition) where the humans all take an NMT/old grandmother NMR and roll it off a high platform. The NMT then hits the ground, and points are awarded based on the size of the splat radius (area which is covered in NMT guts). The larger the splat radius, the more points one reveives. Other events include the NMT javellin, NMT bowling (NMT's being the pins), the NMT punt, the NMTriathlon (too messy and horrible to be described), Whak-A-Mole, PacRat, NMT Invaders, NMT Pong and the fabled Shove-a-naked-mole-tard-up-your-nose-and-waddle-like-a-duck-race.
Huffing competitions are also held, although they generally only last one round, as NMT's are as potent as NMR's, and the competitors are all too stoned to do anything other than roll around on the floor and yell, "WEEEEE! I'm a GOLDFISH!".
Which brings us to our next topic...
The Benefits of Huffing[edit]
NMR's and NMT's are the most huffable creatures on the planet. As they are 100% pure awesomeness-on-toast-with-jelly, the huffer gets high even before the NMR enters the nose. The teeth also work as an aphrodisiac, and so has the effect of approximately 9157735187.251187 viagra pills. Now, I know what you're thinking. "HOLY SHIT! where can I get one!?". The answer is, all you need to do is stand above an NMR burrow in East Africa (or anywhere else in the world...), holding a keg of beer and a sacrificial kitten(Note: kittens are the third most huffable animals to dolphins and NMR's, so if the NMR accepts the kitten and huffs it, the huffer can get even HIGHER from huffing the NMR which huffed the kitten). The beer is to draw the NMR out of it's den. Then, as it leaps forward to huff the kitten, lie down facing upwards over the hole from which it came. When it goes to dive back in, it'll dive straight up your nose. And thus is the NMR huffed.
However, this process also has its DANGERS. Over-huffing may result in the huffer becoming a mole-head. Aside from a need to huff constantly, the mole-head also developes the FEATURES of a mole; his/her/banana's head changes shape to look like an NMR's, and they develop an insatiable longing to DIG. Not long after this, their mind is completely taken over. Here is a sample of precisely what goes through those mole-heads heads.
This is, of course, problematic, as it in no way contains eating or drinking. Therefore, the huffer soon dies.
This has a negative effect on the huffer. Side effects of death include:
A) Shortness of breath.
B) Inability to think clearly.
C) complete lack of short-term and long-term memory.
D) Blindness, deafness, all senses considerably duller.
E) Low blood pressure.
F) Inability to excrete waste products.
None of which matters in any way, as they're already dead.
NMR's in Famous Literature[edit]
NMR's, as we've already demonstrated, are divine beings; therefore, there should be HEAPS of paintings and writings about them, right? Unfortunately, no. Ignorant religious people see these documents and believe they are pagan works of the devil.
This hurts the Great NMR's feelings. Poor lil' guy.
...Anyways, there are still works of literature that were created to spread the word of the NMR. If one looks hard enough, one can unearth them. There are even secret messages about them in the Bible (fair enough, even if the references are completely warped). For instance, the Old Testament story of Deutronomy 12.2 recounts directions for a hit-and-run mission to destroy the Flying Spaghetti Monster's holy places.
"You must demolish completely all the places where the nations whom you are about to dispossess served their gods... Break down their altars... burn their sacred poles with fire, and hew down the idols of their gods... You shall go there, bringing there your burnt offerings and your sacrifices... And you shall eat there in the prescence of the Lord your God... rejoicing in all the undertakings in which the Lord your God has blessed you."
Obviously, translation has modified the words of the passage slightly, but the meaning stays the same:
"You need to blow the shit out of all the places that your enemies worship... break their pots in which they cook spaghetti bolognaise in reverence of the FSM... set fire to their gonads and eat all of the un-burnt spaghetti that's already been cooked... then you shall take all the overcooked spaghetti bolognaise and the worshippers from the temple to the Sacred Dinner Table of Ultimate Doom and Destruction... and there you will force the heretics to eat the burnt spaghetti in the prescence of the Great NMR... Then kill them, and rejoice at all the funerals which will surely take place."'
See? It's obvious.
There IS, in fact, evidence to suggest that "God" is actually Egyptian for "NMR". Indeed, in one ancient Egyptian pyramid, there was a translation of Ancient Egyptian to English (which is just outright wierd, considering that English wasn't invented for another thousand years or so). It says as folows:
This insciption was found on the wall of the tomb of king Wattaloadovcrap IIIV in the Valley of the Kings, Egypt.
Even then, it was written on an orange sheet of paper in black ink. Which is just as weird as the fact that it's in English. Which is very wierd.
This is Da Vinci's original painting of the Last Supper. He was a devout and sensible NMRian who often followed the Power of Nakedness. However, ignorant christians forced him to change the painting to the famous visage we know today. Silly christians.
In fact, the Da Vinci code was really a message, placed by the Great NMR. This message was misinterpreted by Robert Langdon, who used his feeble human mind to blow the message out of proportion. The albino from the story was really a Naked Mole Rat himself, and the tortures he put himself through were bearable from him, as they can't feel injuries to the skin. He only did these things to himself, in fact, as a way of gaining money from stupid, ignorant tourists. Anyway. The real message was "Give me guiness. Deliver it to 187 Brown street in the East African Desert." (Guiness is His favourite beverage.) When He realised that Rob was DISPROVING God's existance, He intervened (because if one stops believing in God, one stops believing in the NMR). And hence, He sent the "albino". And Langdon STILL didn't get it. Humans. Pff.
But there is one more twist. In the bible, Mary is impregnated by the holy Spirit.
This is a LIE.
She was really impregnated by the holy spiritS at communion (back then, communion was like a huge, alcohol feuled party... hence eating flesh and drinking blood). After drinking faaaar to much holy spirits, she was totally drunk, and thus forgot that she had engaged in intercourse at all. Therefore, as no-one could determine the identity of the father, she was said to be impregnated by the holy spirits.
The number of AWESOMENESS is 187. The number of the beast (ANTI-awesomeness)is 666. Therefore, the number of anti-awesome+the number of awesome=666+187, which is 853. THAT is the number of neither-here-nor-thereness, which was the date of the very first fight between the FSM (anti awesomeness) and the NMR (awesomeness).
The Norris and the ANTI-Norris[edit]
Naturally, the Jesus figure in Christian mythology was Chuck Norris. This is evident in that
A) Chuck and Jesus both have 5 letters
B) Norris and Christ both have 6 letters
C) Chuck Norris is awesomeness incarnate, Jesus is the incarnation of God on earth. So, if God=NMR and NMR=pure AWESOMENESS, that makes Chuck and Jesus the same person.
D) Chuck is eternal. So is Jesus.
E) Only Chuck could've survived crucifixion. That's a fact.
F) Jesus once brought someone back from the dead. Chuck Norris's saliva can do that, too.
ERGO: Jesus=Chuck!
Chuck Norris, saviour of the world and eater of spaghetti, is destined to fight in the apocalypse alongside the NMR, his creator.
HOWEVER. There is ONE INDIVIDUAL on this earth that is JUST AS ETERNAL as Chuck. He is the ANTI-NORRIS, a source of anti-awesomeness SO POWERFUL that he can kill even Chuck. All fear his purple-polka dotted wrath.
Most people know him as BARNEY, the PURPLE DINOSAUR.
Here is PROOF:
A) Barney is eternal. He survived the extinction of the dinosaurs.
B) "Barney" spelled backwards is "Yenrab"... Which, by some nefarious chance, is "Barney" spelled backwards. Scary, huh?
C) He scares young children.
D) The Anti-Norris was supposedly born on the 6th day of the 6th month in '06. This is because the date is the same as the number of the beast, 666. That's the day that Barney miraculously resurrected his TV career.
He's also been seen hanging out at FSMic cult meetings, sacrificing animals and small children in the name of Spaghetti, but that doesn't prove anything other than he likes seeing children in pain. I mean, there is only so many years of childrens television a dinosaur can take before he cracks. How long would you last before you too finally snap and start dishing out revenge for all the drool and excrement that has befouled you and your workmates? That's right, it had to happen.
Another little known fact is that Barney is destined to bring the world to an END and the only one who can stop him is the Uber-Awesome-Miracle-Working-Roundhouse-Kicking-Legend Chuck Norris!
Or alternately the Great NMR, but that detracts from the drama.
The APOCALYPSE 0.o[edit]
The REAL apocalypse will be held on the 9th of December 2007, at 12:30 sharp, Western Australian Standard Time. Don't be late!
The apocalypse is destined to be a Western-Orientated-Kamikaze-Infiltrated-Neolithically-Awesome-Ballistic-Oscillating-Xylophonic fight. That's right... W.O.K.I.N.A.B.O.X. is the ONLY way to describe it. That's how awesome it's gonna be. NMR versus FSM for the FINAL TIME. According to the Little Book of Awesomeness (the Gospel of the NMR), it'll involve ALL organisms on the planet.
The Four Horses of the apocalypse will ride forth, bringing with them death- and then they'l lbe killed and made into spaghetti meatballs.
Death itself will be slain at the hands of NMR's, leading to a period of awkward silence when they all realise that now, no-one can die. Then all realise the impossibility of the situation and start killing each other anyways.
NMR-loving people will go head to head with lawyers and door-to-door salesmen (at last, we have an excuse!), NMR's and Chuck Norris against over a billion pirates, Minjas, NMT's and ninjas (though the NMT's will be used solely for ammunition and ninja weapons). Epic war will rage for days, MILLENIA even, with heavy casualties on all sides... Rodents flying through the air, spaghetti tentacles whipping across the battlefield, Chuck's steel-capped boots sending pirates and ninjas alike soaring through the sky before exploding like human fireworks...
And the politicians will try to use the war to gain votes.
Finally, the war will come to a close. All will be annihalated in a fiery inferno.
Then they'll start filming part two.
- ↑ This is actually a common misconception. NMR's are found ALL OVER the world. You know the scratching sound on your roof at night? The noise people say is just possums or some other night creature?...Guess again. Thats right. When we say everywhere, we mean everywhere.


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A Whimsical Winter Wedding at the Science Museum of Virginia in Richmond
Sarah Jones (31 and a registered nurse and co-owner of The Proper Petal) and Zach Boyle (37 and a desktop systems administrator) paid homage to their love of science, dinosaurs and Harry Potter in their whimsical "Speakeasy in Space" winter wedding at a science museum. "We loved the vintage, historic elements of the venue and wanted to honor that with elegant details while still paying tribute to our nerdy personalities," Sarah says. The couple started the day off with a ceremony in front of an elaborate eight-foot-tall floral ring with the science museum's SR-71 Blackbird spy plane illuminated in the background. Zach jazzed up his classic three-piece suit with a few on-theme accessories, including a velociraptor tie clip and Star Wars socks. In the science museum's palatial rotunda, a long king's table was accessorized with cozy armchairs for the bride and groom and with Lucite ghost chairs for friends and family. A cocktail lounge, furnished with vintage-style couches and a copper bar, offered signature sips throughout the night. In true Hogwarts style, the feasting tables were topped with crimson runners and gold dinosaur table marker holders. At the end of the night, guests took home koozies with a playful design: "When I asked Zach what the koozies should look like, he responded with 'a dinosaur wearing a top hat,' so that's exactly what we did," Sarah says.


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The American Sociological Association (ASA) filed an amicus brief with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit today supporting the fight to overturn Virginia's gay marriage ban and continuing its now 14-month effort to highlight the overwhelming body of social science research that confirms "children fare just as well" when raised by same-sex or heterosexual parents. The Fourth Circuit is scheduled to consider the lawsuit challenging the ban in the near future.
"The amicus brief reflects the ASA's ongoing commitment to ensuring that U.S. courts considering lawsuits to legalize gay marriage know that social science research shows parents' sexual orientation has no bearing on their children's well-being," said ASA Executive Officer Sally T. Hillsman. "The claim that same-sex parents produce less positive child outcomes than heterosexual parents is contrary to the scientific data, and the ASA will continue to publicize the facts"
This is the fourth time in the past 14 months that the ASA has backed challenges to same-sex marriage bans through amicus briefs. In March 2014, the ASA filed an amicus brief with the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 10th Circuit that addressed gay marriage bans in Utah and Oklahoma. In October 2013, the ASA submitted a brief to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit regarding same-sex marriage bans in Nevada and Hawaii. Similarly, in February 2013, the ASA weighed in with the U.S. Supreme Court on Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in California, and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which banned among other things federal recognition of valid same-sex marriages.
"For as long as is necessary, we will continue to provide the courts with the clear social science research consensus that children raised by same-sex parents fare just as well as children raised by heterosexual parents," Hillsman said. "We will also continue to correct the record when gay marriage opponents misinterpret or misrepresent social science research to support their position, which unfortunately happens all too frequently."
Same-sex marriage opponents often misinterpret or misrepresent social science research, claiming it indicates children with gay parents have worse outcomes than those with heterosexual parents. In particular, same-sex marriage opponents regularly mischaracterize research by Mark Regnerus, a sociologist at the University of Texas at Austin.
"The Regnerus papers, among other sources gay marriage opponents continue to invoke, provide no basis for their arguments because that research does not directly examine the well-being of children raised by same-sex parents," Hillsman said. "These analyses, therefore, do not undermine the social science research consensus and do not establish a scientific basis for gay marriage bans."
Rather, social science research suggests same-sex marriage may be beneficial for children. "I have said this before, but it bears repeating: The research supports the conclusion that the extension of marriage rights to same-sex couples has the potential to improve child well-being insofar as the institution of marriage may provide social and legal support to families and enhance family stability — all of which are key drivers of positive child outcomes," Hillsman said.
Founded in 1905, the ASA has more than 13,000 members and a long history of presenting the consensus research findings of sociologists to American courts for their use in evaluating evidence and legal issues.
"When the social science evidence is exhaustively examined — which the ASA has done — the facts demonstrate that children fare just as well when raised by same-sex parents," says the ASA amicus brief for the Fourth Circuit. "Unsubstantiated fears regarding same-sex parents do not overcome these facts and provide no justification for upholding" Virginia's gay marriage ban.
Wendy Diane Manning, Professor of Sociology, Director of the Center for Family & Demographic Research, and Co-Director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, led the ASA's examination of the social science research. Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton LLP of New York City has served as counsel to the ASA on all its briefs pertaining to same-sex marriage.
About the American Sociological Association
The American Sociological Association (www.asanet.org), founded in 1905, is a non-profit membership association dedicated to serving sociologists in their work, advancing sociology as a science and profession, and promoting the contributions to and use of sociology by society.


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Gold Cross and Border Candy Wrapper
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Gold Cross and Border Candy Wrapper, Item# CB30997CM
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