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Les Paul Standard 1959 (Demo) (G-146) Serial: R9 60841
Les Paul Standard 1959 (Demo) (G-146) Serial: R9 60841
1959 is widely considered to be the pinnacle year for Gibson's mid-century solid body electric guitars, and no 1959 Gibson model is more famous than the sunburst Les Paul Standard. At first a commercial failure, the model was eventually adopted by some the world's greatest guitarists – Jimmy Page, Duane Allman, Mike Bloomfield, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, and Billy Gibbons, to name a few. The rarity and celebrity association of the model has pushed the values of original examples into the stratosphere. Gibson Custom's 1959 Les Paul Standard is a painstakingly-accurate replica of these highly-valuable guitars rendered in detail so intricate that even the chemical composition of the parts has been scientifically examined and re-engineered – and that's just one small example. Sonically, visually, and tactilely, owning a 2018 Gibson Custom Historic '59 Les Paul Standard is as close as one can get to owning a priceless original.
This guitar was hand-picked and is in new condition with full warranty.
Includes Fedex Express Shipping
Model: 1959 Les Paul Standard
Neck: 1959
Color: Iced Tea
Body Wood: Mahogany
Neck Wood: Figured Maple
Pickups: Custom Buckers
Radius: 12"
Depth At First Fret: 0.89
Depth At 12th Fret: 0.99
Nut Width: 1.687"
Weight: 8lbs 5oz
Case: Hardshell
Serial: R9 60841
It is our belief that the right instrument can be truly inspirational. If you have ever experienced the bond that can occur with the right guitar, you understand what we are all about. We pride ourselves in having the finest instruments around and treat each one with the realization that it is someone's dream guitar.
Welcome to Righteous Guitars...


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E! to Air "Access Hollywood Live" Daily Beginning Monday, June 10th, 2013
E!, the leader in pop culture and entertainment news and information, will begin airing the one-hour daily entertainment news talk show, "Access Hollywood Live" beginning Monday, June 10that 3:00 PM ET/PT. "Access Hollywood Live" focuses on the latest celebrity dish, pop-culture, opinions, Hollywood happenings and all the day's big news. It features in-studio celebrity guests, and a cast of regular contributors to keep viewers up-to-date with segments on the most current styles, fashion, design trends and more. The show is hosted by Billy Bush and Kit Hoover.
"Access Hollywood Live" is distributed by NBCUniversal Domestic Television Distribution.
Check out "Access Hollywood Live" on Monday, June 10th at 3:00 PM ET/PT only on E!

subset: commoncrawl


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Summer Positions Requirements Application Process A Day in the Life FAQs Apply Now
volunteer application process
The goal of our application process is to get to know the personality and skills of our volunteers so we can match them with a camper or position that will be a good fit. Applications are processed on a rolling basis and volunteer positions are filled on a first-come, first-served basis, so we recommend getting your application in as soon as possible.
step 1: online application
All applicants, including returning volunteers, must complete an online application. As part of this online application, you will be asked to upload the following:
Current photo
Signed Waivers
Government-issued photo ID
Copy of your health insurance card(s) (front & back)
Online application due date: The first round deadline has passed but we are still accepting applications for select positions!
step 2: interview with Our Leadership team
All applicants, including returning volunteers, must complete an interview each year. Once your online application is complete, it will be reviewed by our team and invitations to interview will be emailed out.
Volunteer interviews are conducted via Google Hangout video chat.
STEP 3: offer packet
Applicants will be notified via email whether they have been accepted, waitlisted, or declined. A new form (titled Offer Packet) will be added to accepted applicant's online application and will contain additional information about volunteering at Camp Promise. Final hiring is contingent upon successful completion of background and reference checks. Accepted applicants will have 7 days from receiving notification of their acceptance to complete the following:
Print, sign, and upload your Background Check Authorization Form
Complete your Camp Promise Participation Agreement online
Step 4: medical documents
Final hiring is also contingent upon submission of your medical documents. These forms are required from all new volunteers and they are good for two years. If you are a returning applicant who submitted these forms last year, please notify our office and we will look up your medical documents from last year.
Medical Form signed by the volunteer's doctor
Copy of volunteer's immunization records
Additional medical directives (optional)
Medical documents due date: Monday, May 13, 2019 (@ midnight PST)
All accepted volunteer will be notified via email and will receive the following to help them prepare for camp:
List of theme days
Directions to camp
Suggested packing list


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By Natasha King
I have been working on this blog post for most of the month of February. I want to be really honest in saying that I have I love/hate relationship with Black History Month. I fully recognize the importance of it, but I guess what I disagree with is the execution.
As a kid I knew that come February I would see an avalanche of "facts" about the black contribution to US history. We were bombarded with meager amounts of information, mostly male dominant facts; the presentation of which, seemed unappealing and uninspiring. Those small snippets of information came condensed and hurried and were gone just as quickly once the month ended. Hearing those facts felt like checking a box just to say that you did something.
Now stick with me because this does tie into the babywearing community at large.
As a black person living in America I mourned all the things that had been passed down from generation to generation that were stolen from me. I felt disconnected from the traditions of my ancestors and the essence of who I was at my core. That all changed the day I touched a woven wrap. I felt an instant connection. For me, the simple act of holding my son close in a piece of fabric bridged the gap between myself and my ancestors. It has been an intense love affair that continues even as Jaxon is becoming longer and heavier. But as long as he wants to go up, I will continue to oblige.
However, with that as the backdrop please understand that I am writing this piece because the babywearing world has not been all sunshine and roses for people of color. There is much work that can be done. At times this work feels uncomfortable and I invite you to embrace the discomfort and use it to grow. We are carrying the future. Our actions will shape how they interact with people who may be different from them.
So this year as February comes to a close, I challenge you to do your own research about how black history is really intertwined with the history of America. How the history of black people in America shapes what America is today and how that experience still impacts our lives.
And if I may leave you with a few suggestions they would be:
Learn how history became this story.
Realize that some things have not just languished in the past.
Be mindful of the person as a whole.
Teach your children to celebrate color, not erase.
Amplify the voices of the oppressed.
Don't limit your quest for knowledge to a calendar month.


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Will there be any room left for Wi-Fi in the brave new world of LTE-Unlicensed (LTE-U) and LTE Licensed Assisted Access (LAA) deployed in the 5 Gigahertz (GHz) spectrum band? These two technologies are just starting to be promoted by a number of mobile carriers. While technical discussions about the relative merits and shortfalls of these technologies abound, what about the business case – the ROI of deploying LTE-U/LAA?
You may be in for a surprise. But before the big reveal, let's take a closer look at what these new 5 GHz radio spectrum technologies claim to offer and how they stack up.
First, let's look at LTE-U. LTE-U is the earliest version of unlicensed LTE in the 5 GHZ band developed for major U.S. cell providers. As the early non-standard option for the U.S. and certain Asian markets, LTE-U is not required by the Federal Communications Commission to use the listen-before-talk protocol.
LAA is a more recent successor. It's a worldwide standard from 3GPP that has the advantage of incorporating the listen-before-talk protocol. LAA has gained wider acceptance globally and may have better compatibility with Wi-Fi systems in the future.
LTE-U and LAA will both make use of the 5 GHz unlicensed bands, effectively competing with Wi-Fi. They both require the use of a traditional licensed band as an 'anchor' channel for the control, paging, and uplink information, and use 5 GHz as a secondary carrier or channel that just handles bulk data transmission (initially downlink only, with uplink to follow in later updates).
LTE-U/LAA promises to enhance cellular service by deploying many small cell radios in close proximity to where the subscribers (aka you and me) are. Because small cell radios cost so much less than macrocell towers, this promises to provide improved service to subscribers while costing mobile operators much less to deploy versus adding costly macrocell towers. Sounds great, right? Well, not quite. In fact, taking LTE and adding LTE-U or LAA is one of the costliest solutions you can implement to achieve better cellular coverage and capacity. Here's why:
- Exorbitant equipment costs: Small cell radios need to be deployed where people gather to work, play and shop, but small cells cover only a few city blocks at best, which is a fraction of the territory that macrocell towers cover. While they boast good capacity, deploying large numbers of small cells – especially outdoors – can really add up and end up costing much more than a macrocell network.
- Site acquisition and deployment is both complex and costly: When it comes to small cell installation – whether outdoors or indoors – carriers often go through lengthy and costly legal hoops as they negotiate with building owners or with city governments one by one, building by building or town by town. This is hugely time consuming and a massively expensive process, but it keeps lawyers busy and employed!
- LTE-U/LAA is a hard sell: Finally, many cities and most modern enterprises have already invested in Wi-Fi and will almost certainly have a hard time accepting a justification for turning off the Wi-Fi channels that their patrons and employees depend on. Plus, installing small cells sitewide at a medium or large enterprise is both expensive and operationally intensive. Each mobile carrier requires their own dedicated LTE small cells – linked to their specific licensed spectrum (for that 'anchor' channel), forcing enterprises into additional difficult decisions. Do they deploy multiple, parallel systems or limit the coverage in their building to specific mobile operators?
With all these factors in mind, you can see that LTE-U/LAA systems don't make much sense from a business standpoint. The carrier, of course, has to bear most of the costs we've mentioned, but there's also a trickle-down effect to the enterprises that work with carriers to deploy LTE-U/LAA at their sites.
The fact of the matter is, LTE-U/LAA is getting off to a slow start, and the future does not look very bright. According to Dell-Oro Group, worldwide approximately 1.6 million enterprise small cells were installed in 2016. These are rather anemic numbers when compared to enterprise Wi-Fi access points (APs), growing from 14 million installed annually in 2016 to a projected 20 million installed annually in 2020.
What's the answer? Here's the final plot twist you've been waiting for – LTE WLAN LAN Aggregation (LWA). LWA is a 3GPP technology that is similar to LTE-U/LAA as it also utilizes licensed spectrum for a control and uplink channel and 5 GHz for bulk data, but it's an attractive hybrid solution that leverages Wi-Fi so it is both less costly and easier to deploy. Instead of using an LTE-U or LAA radio in 5GHz as the secondary carrier, it makes use of your existing Wi-Fi system, and potentially your existing LTE system, to get the same benefits as LTE-U/LAA at a fraction of the cost.
Let's look at the benefits of LWA over LTE-U/LAA:
- LWA usually involves only a low-cost software upgrade to your existing LTE and Wi-Fi equipment, versus deploying all new hardware with the associated costs.
- Even where new radios are needed, there's a significantly lower cost of hardware overall, given the relative cost of enterprise-class Wi-Fi access points versus LTE small cells.
- Both distributed and co-located LWA models are supported. In other words, you don't need to have both radios in the same box like you do with LTE-U/LAA. You can have an existing LTE system leverage a nearby Wi-Fi system that has been deployed separately. This deployment flexibility is especially helpful in optimizing the coverage and capacity of both the lower frequency licensed radios and higher frequency Wi-Fi radios, whereas compromises must be made when both radios are integrated into a single base station.
- Because LWA utilizes native 5 GHz Wi-Fi to augment the capacity of the LTE network, LWA coexists with other Wi-Fi networks using the tried-and-true 802.11 mechanisms, unlike both LTE-U and LAA which rely on new, largely untested, mechanisms.
- The net of this is that a massive trailing twelve months (TTM) advantage appears on your organization's financial statement due to your ability to leverage the presence of existing in-building Wi-Fi systems!
Best of all, LWA offers a flexible business model, supporting a wide range of participants: mobile operators (MNOs) who deploy networks, mobile operators who offer managed services to enterprises, MNOs partnering with cable operators (MSOs) or wireless Internet service providers (WISPs), MNOs partnering with enterprises or venue operators, and more.
And what about the end user experience with a handset? Well, LWA will simply look like improved LTE cell coverage and service – which is really the only thing the end user cares about!
And the operator can continue to own and control the user experience with the tools and processes they utilize today for managing their LTE network, driving operational efficiency.
Learn more about advanced Wi-Fi solutions by visiting Ruckus at: https://www.ruckuswireless.com.


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Listen to Never Leave, the latest track from Chris Brown, featuring Jessica. The cut dropped on Sunday, December 5th, 2010. Chris Brown's future brightens with every new release, and Never Leave certainly isn't an exception. It's a fitting addition to a solid catalogue that Chris Brown has been developing since stepping foot in the game. We're excited to hear more.
Hear more of Chris Brown on Where Do We Go From Here (Prod. by Jim Jonsin), featuring Pitbull. If you're down, make sure to visit Chris Brown's profile page for the newest info, news, songs, and mixtapes.
Who else would you like to have seen on the track? What do y'all think of this joint?


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"KULTAN: The World Beyond" Launches the International Open Beta
13 Sep, 2011, 11:53 BST
HAMBURG, September 13, 2011 /PRNewswire/ --
Bigpoint (http://www.bigpoint.com/) is sailing into international waters with the action-packed new fantasy MMORPG "KULTAN: The World Beyond". English, French, Spanish, Italian and Spanish versions of the game will allow to set sail on an epic voyage of discovery to the mystical, once-forgotten continent of Kultan. "KULTAN: The World Beyond" can be played for free directly in browsers at http://www.kultan.com.
Three factions ready for mystery and action
In "KULTAN: The World Beyond", players develop seafaring skills to master the challenges of the New World. The character development of the three available classes is just as important as recruiting the right officers to hone the player's skills and strategy and keep their crew's morale high. Players can select their captain from one of three detailed factions. The gripping story of "KULTAN: The World Beyond" can be experienced together with other players, cooperatively or competitively. Rival flotillas must battle it out in epic sea skirmishes for oceanic dominance.
"'KULTAN: The World Beyond' is not a game for the unadventurous!" according to Philip Reisberger, Chief Games Officer at Bigpoint. "The vast, beautiful game world, state-of-the-art graphics and a thrilling story make KULTAN a truly unique browser experience which is immediately available in multiple key languages."
Kultan comes to life
In addition to its complex story, "KULTAN: The World Beyond" offers a gaming world brought to life with impressive Unity 3D graphics. Combined with 36 ship types to allow players to fully customize their crafts, the game offers players the ocean adventure of a lifetime.
Starting immediately, Bigpoint's free-to-play game "KULTAN: The World Beyond" will be internationally playable in German, English, French, Italian and Spanish at http://www.kultan.com.
Press Contact:
Matthias Mirlach, Lead Public Relations
SOURCE Bigpoint GmbH


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India, a country that proudly calls itself "the world's largest democracy" needs to worry. At what seems to be a turning point in its history, with a landslide victory in a presidential-esque election, it appears to be losing its rights to make some very fundamental, basic choices. After attacks on churches, the controversial and deplorable "re-conversions" (ghar wapasi) in parts of the country and most recently a Hindu right-wing call to boycott films starring the popular Khans in the industry, the province of Maharashtra has, in its infinite wisdom, decided to ban the sale of beef punishable by five years in jail.
Now, to make it completely clear from the outset, I am not either encouraging or condemning eating beef or any other meat. If you're a vegetarian, religious or humanitarian, good for you. And if you're a non-vegetarian better enjoy the chicken- while it lasts – because the next announcement we here might declare the sale of all forms of meat illegal. Call me cynical but it seems questionable that banning the consumption of the meat of an animal (a cow, for the uninitiated), sacred in Hinduism (which explicitly bans its consumption, again for the uninitiated), is one of the first "acts" a newly elected, conservative political party passes in its province. Connect the dots and it seems like an overt attempt to establish a national Hindu identity, something which falls in line with the BJP's ideology of "In India, do as the Hindus do" which they have expressed on occasion. The last time anyone checked, we were a secular nation (S-E-C-U-L-A-R, for all the extreme Hindu trolls online) and being Indian was certainly not equated with being Hindu. The subtle implication behind banning beef seems to suggest otherwise and this, among other things, is worrying. Any votes arguing they will ban the sale of pork next? All for the sake of animal rights, presumably?
The BJP, the ruling party in Maharashtra which is the lucky province where this happy event occurred, is unapologetic about its endorsement of fairly conservative (I've deliberately avoided the word "traditional" here) Hindu values and its association with organizations who think the same. And in an open, functional democracy that isn't and should be a problem: the BJP is entitled to think as it wishes but so is everybody else. Banning a popular food item prevents that, simply because you're taking away an individual's right to eat as he or she pleases. You're indirectly imposing arbitrary rules on everybody, regardless of whether they believe in the Cause of the Cow. Furthermore, banning a foodstuff isn't going to solve any of the other problems the BJP was presumably elected to solve (read: water, electricity, public transit, public health and safety…..the list could go on forever). In the light of major problems like farmer suicides and droughts, is the question of pork the most pressing? Lastly, I'm going to answer the widely used refutation to my claims that in even in countries oversees, religious beliefs ( arguably the most dominant religion in the country in question) do dictate traditions and customs so why not in India? They do, but not to the extent of forcefully restricting an individual's dietary choices and even if they do, is that the kind of model the Constituent Assembly had in mind when they adopted the Constitution sixty five years ago?
Note: The Writer is aware of the unfortunate but undeniable existence of Internet Trolls and thanks readers who don't viciously (borderline lawlessly) attack this opinion, and proceed to agree or disagree civilly. Excuse the arguably amusing Roman Hindi usage.


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eeBoo Respect the Earth Flashcards
Click Image for Gallery
eeBoo Respect the Earth Flashcards
Respect the Earth Flash Cards
Friendly animals show simple ways to reduce, reuse and recycle in the 48 cards that demonstrate answers to questions about relationship to the larger world that children can relate to. For example:
Before you recycle containers… Rinse your recyclables!
If you have a computer… Ask your parents to set the computer to "power-saver" mode.
To better understand the planet…Spend time in nature and see what it can teach you.
48 flash cards
Sturdy sliding tray box for easy storage
Cards measure 16.5 x 12.5cm.
For ages 5 years and up.


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Dr. Tiger Devore, columnist for Las Vegas Woman magazine about relationships, sex and gender issues, is a respected expert and caring physician.
With over 30 years of practice and expertise working with women and their specific issues, Dr. Tiger strives to help couples or individuals who are experiencing problems. This includes changes in daily living or just dissatisfaction with quality of life, going through transitions as they age, changing jobs, entering or leaving a relationship, going through separation or divorce, death of a partner and approaching dating after a loss. He also works with couples dealing with infidelity, repairing the relationship or deciding to call it quits. Dr. Tiger wants couples to understand that there are many alternatives to divorce. For the last 30 years, Dr. Tiger has also been an activist and advocate for the rights of people disabled by HIV, as well as for a range of people who are considered to be sexually different from the mainstream.
He has worked in sex research clinics at both the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine and the Human Sexuality program at University of California, Los Angeles, wrote a sex education program that was adopted by counseling center and health center staffs at the university and college level nationally, worked for National Institutes of Health as a crisis counselor at its AIDS treatment and evaluation center at UCLA, worked with incarcerated sex offenders, and has been an expert witness in court. Currently he works with the Clark County School District, state legislature and various communities to implement programs for people who might not otherwise have access to services and help needed.
"I have many years of experience dealing with adjustment to long-term disease, including many forms of cancer, AIDS/HIV, being dialysis dependent, or facing and living with organ transplant," Dr. Tiger explained. "My expertise as a certified sex therapist includes all forms of relationship counseling, as well as dealing with all forms of sexual dysfunction, including extensive knowledge of living well with reduced functioning, any form of fetish or alternative sexual practice or lifestyle, and the entire range of gender considerations, from intersex to sex reassignment."
He has appeared on television as a sex and relationship expert on "Today," "Oprah" and "Dr. Oz," as well as on the Discovery Channel, PBS, National Geographic television, New Zealand State television, the Oprah Winfrey Network, TLC and BBC.
"I love my work, and love seeing the people I work with live well. In fact, many of the people I work with are healthy, everyday people who are just facing challenges and I can help," Dr. Tiger said. "I encourage those who need my help to please reach out to me."
Clinical Psychologist, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Media Expert on Sex and Relationships, SAG/AFTRA member
9414 W. Lake Mead Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89134


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My good friend Tim Sanders has a brand new book out titled Today We Are Rich. This book really serves as a prequel to Tim's first and best-known book Love is the Killer App. This is a book about confidence, and in the book Tim talks about 7 key principles that he learned from his grandmother Billye regarding confidence, essentials he considers life lessons that he promised to her he would never forget.
I had the chance to talk with Tim about the new book, the incredible legacy of his grandmother Billye, some of the ways he's struggled with confidence over the years and how he overcame those areas, what key principles from the book are most important for young next generation leaders, and his favorite music picks right now.
Also, Tim has made available an e-b00k with an extra couple of chapters for free on his website that you should definitely check out and download.
Thanks Tim!!


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Loo competition rules
We are running a competition to find the oldest Loo. A weekend away in Looe is up for grabs for the householder who sends in a photo of the oldest working outside loo via social media. Here are the rules.
- The competition is run by Drain Doctor Ltd, Franchise House, Adam Court, Newark Road, Fengate, Peterborough, PE1 5PP.
- The competition is free to enter via Facebook, Twitter, email or post.
- The closing date for the competition is Friday 25 March 2016.
- There will be one prize of a weekend in Looe, Cornwall, for two people. Drain Doctor will pay reasonable travel costs plus the cost of hotel accommodation for three nights, including breakfast and dinner. No cash alternative will be substituted.
- Entrants must keep the weekend of Friday 3 to Monday 6 June 2016 free and be able to travel to Cornwall. No alternative dates will be offered.
- Entries are restricted to one per household.
- The winner(s) will be notified via email or telephone.
- The results will be announced via Facebook, Twitter, the Drain Doctor blog and in the media.
- The criterion for judging entries is the oldest, still functioning outside toilet. Drain Doctor may seek expert assistance in determining the age of potential winners.
- In the event of a tie in terms of date the winning entry will be judged on the most apt and original tie breaker.
- The judges will be appointed by Drain Doctor. Their decision in all matters related to the competition will be final and no correspondence will be entered into.
- Images supplied to Drain Doctor as entries to this competition will remain the copyright of Drain Doctor and may be used in promotional activity.
- By entering the competition entrants consent to Drain Doctor using photos and names of winners in publicity.


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Getting a copy of your diploma from a school that is no longer operating, can become quite the challenge for some. Although the situation seems rare, a number of institutes have closed their doors over the years making a replacement diploma difficult to obtain for ex-graduates.
Believe it or not, when the economy suffers even schools sometimes have to be GOING OUT OF BUSINESS signs on their doors! This is because some schools are for-profit and when not enough students enroll, the school can no longer afford to operate. In the cases of public schools that close, local entities take over record keeping but that is often not the case with privately funded schools and those needing copies of their records or replacements of their diplomas from closed colleges, are often out of luck.
Resource: See a complete list of colleges that have closed or merged: http://collegehistorygarden.blogspot.com/2014/11/index-of-colleges-and-universities-that.html
How to quickly replace a diploma from a closed college or university!
For many the solution for getting diplomas made for schools that are no longer operation, have been websites that produce fake diplomas. These sites collect a large number of diploma template options, including templates from previously closed schools. This allows them to provide ex-graduates of these schools with custom diplomas that will remind them of what they once had.
Take into consideration, Thomas Arthur who got his Bachelor's from Redwood Institute which was a privately funded business school. After swimming in debt due to too many student loans, the school closed it's doors for good in April of last year. At the time, Thomas who had graduated and was displaying his diploma in his home office, didn't put much thought into ever needing an additional copy.
That was until Veronica who graduated with him was in need of a copy of hers and after realizing she had misplaced it and Redwood Institute could not be reached, was unsure of what to do. Luckily, Veronica was made aware of using "fakes" instead and was able to order a copy through www.diplomacompany.com. Just in case, Thomas was in the same boat one day he decided he ought to invest in an additional copy by ordering from the same site she did.
The process of buying a replacement diploma from a closed college was very simple. First he picked through their product line of fake college diplomas and degrees. He then gave the website the name of his old college, his name, dates for graduation and degree details. Within 24 hours the custom document was packaged up and shipped to him.
When it arrived, Thomas reminds holding up the diploma they sent against the one hanging up in his office. To his surprise, he find very little different about it and was amazed at how much the company knew about diplomas including his which was from a rather small and relatively unknown school.


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Users that select college majors based on Kuder assessment results have higher GPAs.
Users say Kuder is highly helpful in making educational and career plans.
Users say Kuder gives them hope for the future.
posted on Thursday, August 21, 2014
A sample group of students and adults were interviewed based on their experience with career coaching as well as their use of the Indiana Career Explorer, powered by Kuder®. Notable findings include:
View all Kuder studies.


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North Carolina State University is pleased to announce that it will be participating in the Council on Library and Information Resource's Postdoctoral Fellowship in Data Curation for Medieval Studies program, under which we will be hiring a fellow for the 2016-18 academic years. For details on the position, please see http://www.clir.org/fellowships/postdoc/applicants/north-carolina-state-university.
The deadline for applications is December 30th; for more information, please see http://www.clir.org/fellowships/postdoc/applicants.
Please address any questions to Timothy Stinson at email@example.com.


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Free shipping in the USA (lower 48) when your order is over $89 (excluding gift certificates and sales tax, if applicable).
You need to order a minimum of 3 copies. The price will be $5.67 in the shopping cart if you choose that quantity. In Stock. From its haunting opening heart-beat rhythm to its explosion of praise to God, this new worship song from Chris Tomlin and Matt Redman soars. Russell Mauldin shapes it into a thrilling anthem that is easily learned and that raises worship to new heights. Suitable for any time of year and many liturgical uses, it is a standard in the making.
� 2019 Music44. All rights reserved.


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Registrar's Message
Rajan Sehgal
It is my privilege to be the Registrar of the A P Goyal Shimla University which was established with a vision to foster exploration of new ideas, imparting scientific temper and critical thinking amongst students leading to their all-round development. The university is continuously updating the courses and syllabi to remain abreast with the global developments in higher learning and thereby equipping the students with ever-changing requirements of trending professions. The central theme of the university is to nurture the young minds amidst nature, produce outstanding talent and encourage interdisciplinary research and education. Nestled in the Himalayas, University is recognized for its applied scientific learning and with the passage of time it has carved a niche for itself in the academic world. The university has a well experienced, dedicated and highly qualified faculty. The serene ambience of the campus attracts and embraces students from diverse cultural and linguistic backgrounds. It is due to this diversity that the University is ever pulsating with energy and is a perfect blend of academic excellence, culture and value systems. It is our commitment that university emerges as higher learning destination in multiple domains of knowledge and a home to visiting scholars. Side by side, the University shall also witness changes in teaching practices, faculty development and infrastructure buildup apart from improving the quality of academics. The University will accelerate the pace of development in the days to come and will constantly strive to attain greater heights. The collective efforts and cooperation of the students, faculty and the staff will enable to shape the university into a premier academic institution.


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"Through The Low Gate" is my band Spain's sixth studio album and will be released during the first part of 2016. It'll be three hours long and will encompass the history of music, poetry, art, and language since the beginning of time. The album will be released on Dine Alone Records in North America and Australia, and in the U.K. and Europe on Glitterhouse Records.
If you'd like to help support this project I've set up a subscription service on my personal Bandcamp page. Levels of support start at $25.00/year and include subscriber-only demos for the new album and subscriber-only written and video diaries of the making of the album, along with all the other non-Spain Josh Haden releases. Higher levels of support include a CD copy of the album with your name in the acknowledgements, tickets to future Spain shows, and more.
I've already posted the first demo recorded for the album, a song entitled "For You". You can check it out here.
Once again, here's the link to my Bandcamp subscription page: https://www.joshhaden.bandcamp.com/subscribe. Thanks!


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The Language Program at CMMAL uses the Communicative Approach. Following are some characteristics of this methodology:
- The exercises and activities in the classroom are focused on natural communication and on interaction with other people. This is accomplished by way of teaching students specific functions. Functions are what we use language for in order to communicate; for example, to greet people, to order a meal in a restaurant, to complain, to debate, etc.
- Grammar is an important part in the process of learning a language. However, with the Communicative Approach it serves communication rather than serving as the primary goal of the class.
- Students are provided with exercises and activities based on life situations in order that language learning is related to their daily experiences.
- The role of the instructor is one of facilitating the interaction between and among the students, and other people outside the classroom. This allows the students to be proactive and responsible for their own learning.


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A Network Connecting School Leaders From Around The Globe
Time: March 21, 2013 from 8:30am to 11am
Location: Eastern Suffolk BOCES Sherwood Center
Phone: 631-218-4197
Event Type: meeting/presentation
Organized By: LI Social Emotional Literacy Forum, in collaboration with Eastern Suffolk BOCES
Latest Activity: Feb 18, 2013
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Response to Inappropriate Behavior: Strategies to Break the Pattern
A FREE Workshop about what students tell us through their behavior and how we can best intervene.
March 21, 2013
Eastern Suffolk BOCES Sherwood Center
15 Andrea Road Holbrook, NY 11741
The LI Social Emotional Literacy Forum, in collaboration with Eastern Suffolk BOCES, invites you to join us for a continuing discussion related to the behaviors outlined in the Dignity Act. This session provides information on behavior management strategies that address inappropriate student behavior.
This information is helpful for all Dignity Act Coordinators (DACs), interested administrators, and student support staff who assist their schools in implementation of the Dignity Act. It is not necessary to have attended the prior discussion groups.
Topics include:
Presenter: Michelle Levy, Behavior Specialist, RSE TASC
There is no charge for this session. Please bring your own snacks
Register with Carol Brown at: firstname.lastname@example.com to reserve a place. Include your name, position, district, phone # and email address.
Call 631-286-6989 for registration questions only.
For information on the session topic, contact Michelle Levy: firstname.lastname@example.com. 631-218-4197
© 2019 Created by William Brennan and Michael Keany Powered by


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What do you think makes a quality product?
Exact is continually striving to deliver the highest quality products possible. All our development teams place a great deal of focus on ensuring that our new releases provide our customers and users with the level of quality they've come to expect from us.
To be able to know exactly what is expected from us, it's essential to have a close relationship with our customers and product users. Unfortunately, maintaining close, personal relationships with the number of people using Exact Online (Exact Online has more than 15,000 subscriptions source) is nearly impossible. That said, our teams in support, marketing, sales and customer service do keep a close eye what is going on at our customers and across the market. People from within the development team also have contact with customers on a regular basis. All these sources of input enable us to enhance and improve Exact Online in line with people's needs, while maintaining the quality that they demand.
In the last few months the Exact Online development team has put even more focus on quality for the product itself. We passionately believe that it's the customer and the user that determine the level of quality we achieve, and that a number of factors determine the quality they experience. I won't go into them all here, but a few are outlined below:
- Functionality: Exact Online should provide the functionality that is needed to support the customer's business needs;
- Usability: Exact Online should be able to be used in a way that people can relate to. This will help achieve proper and efficient use of the product;
- Security: Exact Online should be a secure environment. Customers and users should feel and experience that Exact Online is secure and does not give any access to data that should not available.
There are more factors that we think are important, but I'll hold back on those here for a reason. I would like to know from you, the reader, what quality means to you! When you think of Exact Online (or a similar web-based application) what do you think is important in achieving a positive overall impression? This is not so much about your ideas for new features or functions, but more about what you as a (future) customer and/or user of Exact Online would need in order to experience it as a high quality product…
Some suggestions:
- Quality to me is that the calculations in Exact Online are always correct;
- Quality to me is that the performance of Exact Online is always adequate;
- Quality to me is that new legislation is available at the start date of that legislation;
- Etc.
In the next few months I will post articles explaining more about the factors that we think are important, incorporating your feedback in the process. Please let me know your thoughts as a comment to this post or send me a mail. Thank you!
Comments (1)
Aad 't Hart
Quality in the eyes of the manufacturer or quality in the eyes of the customer vary greatly.
When I buy a new car I don't ask if it's reliable, lasts 3 years and does at least 120.000km. I assume this is all the case. However the manufacture has done a lot of testing and quality monitoring to make sure the product meets those basis requirements. These quality attributes are a manufactures responsibility because not meeting the basic assumptions can damage your reputation and brand (ask Toyota!)
When I buy a car I might ask about the fuel consumption or acceleration, but they are not quality attributes, they are features of the product. It is however a quality attribute that the advertised values match the reality.
When I buy/rent accounting software I don't ask if it meets legal requirements, is reliable and secure. I just asume it is. I do ask about feature my business might require!
Quality in the eyes of the customer is not something you can measure, it is just there! However quality gets noticed when you feel, touch and use the product. Why do we we think a BMW is of better quality as a Kia? Both probably have about the same quality measurements in their factories so that doesn't make the difference. The difference is that BMW engineers to give the impression of quality, for instance to employ specialists to engineer the sound of a closing door (it doesn't make the door any more durable). It's subjective and emotional.
So what makes a quality product? Attention for the smallest, even invisible detail!
P.S. Why is this comment form so small and uses really small letters?


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MAYSVILLE – Last Friday's 37th District Tournament championship game win over Bishop Brossart not only gave the Campbell County boys' basketball team a better draw in the 10th Region Tournament, but the belief it can win the whole thing for the first time since 2001.
Campbell County played with confidence and was totally dominant in its first game of the 10th Region Tournament as it rolled past undermanned Bracken County, 78-34, in a quarterfinal game on Thursday at Mason County Fieldhouse.
The game was played with a running clock for the final 11:28 after Campbell County built a 54-18 lead.
Campbell County (19-8), which had 13 of its 15 players score, advances to Monday's 6 p.m. semifinal game and will face Harrison County, which rallied from 44-38 down with two minutes left to beat Clark County 53-50 on Thursday night.
It's the second time in the last three seasons the Camels advanced to the semifinal round. They lost to Clark County the last time they reached the semifinals in 2012, 61-45.
Last Friday's 49-44 win over Brossart allowed Campbell County to draw a district loser, which turned out to be the second-lowest rated team in the tournament, according to the Louisville Courier-Journal Litkenhous Ratings, while Brossart drew the top-rated team in the tournament, Montgomery County, which it will face at 6 p.m. Friday.
"It was huge, because Brossart's a real nice team and because some of the kids that needed to step up and do some things realized they could do it in a big game," said Campbell County coach Aric Russell, who coached Newport to the 2010 Ninth Region title before taking over at Campbell County the next season.
"We knew we could beat Brossart and when we did it it has given us mad confidence going into this tournament that we can do big things," said junior forward De'Ondre Jackson who got Campbell County off to a fast start by scoring 11 of his 15 points in the first quarter when the Camels pulled ahead 23-8.
Campbell County shot 58.0 percent for the field for the game and made 7 of 10 three-pointers in the first half, while it held Bracken County without a basket for the final 11:15 of the first half and to just 23.8 percent for the game.
Sophomore center Matt Wilson led Campbell County with 16 points, 12 of them coming in the third quarter when Bracken County switched from the multiple zones it played in the first half to man-to-man.
The 6-foot-8 Wilson made 5 of 6 shots from the field in the quarter, including two foul-line jumpers.
Senior guard Corey Holbrook added 11 points, all in the first half, including eight in the first quarter.
Bracken County (14-16), which was playing without second-leading scorer Nathaniel Haight for undisclosed reasons, had more turnovers in the first half (14) than points (12) and was just 2 of 16 from the field in the first half.
Freshman guard Austin Crawford, who entered the game averaging 23.6 points per game, led Bracken County with 15 points and nine rebounds, but was just 5 of 19 from the field.
PLAYER OF THE GAME: Jackson. He scored 13 of his 15 points in the first half and finished the game 4 of 4 from the field, including 3 of 3 three-point attempts, and was 4 of 4 from the foul line.
He also had three rebounds, tied for the team high with four assists, and had two steals.
PLAY OF THE GAME: Roughly 30 seconds into the second quarter the 6-foot-1 Jackson came up with a steal near midcourt and raced to the other end for a dunk, which almost came out, but stayed in the basket for a 25-8 Campbell County lead.
"I usually don't jump off of one foot, I usually jump off of two and when I went up I realized I didn't think it through," said Jackson. "I thought it was going out and it rolled back through and I went, 'Whew.' "
QUOTABLE: Russell on when he thought his team had a chance to make a postseason run: "In mid-January close to the Scott game (an eventual 79-61 win) we started to see we had some pieces that we could do some good things with.
"We just had to get kids some confidence and find a stretch of days we weren't sitting home during a snow day and not getting practices in. Once we got a little momentum going (with practices) I felt like our team was starting to click a little bit."
• Russell on his team making 7 of 10 first-half 3-pointers, including 5 of 6 to start the game: "We're a hard team to zone, because we can shoot pretty and we still penetrate a little big. They have to pick their poison. We have a lot of weapons."⬛
Bracken County (14-16) – Crawford 5 4 15, Jones 0 0 0, May 2 0 4, Hamilton 1 1 3, Cummins 0 5 5, Todd 0 3 3, Lippert 2 0 4. Totals 10 13 34.
Campbell County (19-8) – Jackson 4 4 15, Holbrook 4 1 11, Wilson 5 6 16, Losey 0 0 0, McGovney 2 0 5, Geiman 1 0 2, Bezold 2 0 4, Hegyi 1 0 2, Day 2 0 4, Bertsch 1 0 2, L. Franzen 2 0 6, J. Franzen 2 0 4, Neltner 1 1 3, Cryer 2 0 4. Totals 29 12 78.
Halftime: Campbell County, 43-12. 3-pointers: B 1 (Crawford). C 8 (Jackson 3, Holbrook 2, L. Franzen 2, McGovney).
Region tournament Schedule
Friday's games
Eighth Region quarterfinals at Henry County
Shelby County (16-14) vs. Simon Kenton (13-13), 6:30 p.m.
Oldham County (22-6) vs. Henry County (22-10), 8 p.m.
Ninth Region quarterfinals at Bank of Kentucky Center
Dixie Heights (23-7) vs. Conner (11-14), 6:30 p.m.
Holmes (26-5) vs. Highlands (9-14), 8 p.m.
10th Region quarterfinals at Mason County Fieldhouse
Montgomery County (27-2) vs. Bishop Brossart (23-4), 6 p.m.
Augusta (19-11) vs. Robertson County (15-13), 7:30 p.m.
Saturday's games
Eighth Region semifinals at Grant County
Simon Kenton (28-3) vs. Gallatin County (20-7), 3 p.m.
Oldham County (16-9) vs. Anderson County (25-4), 5 p.m.
Ninth Region semifinals at Bank of Kentucky Center
Highlands (23-7) vs. Notre Dame (21-8), 6 p.m.
Holy Cross (21-7) vs. Newport Central Catholic (27-4), 7:30 p.m.
10TH Region semifinals at Mason County Fieldhouse
Montgomery County (14-14) vs. Scott (19-12), 4 p.m.
Mason County (23-8) vs. George Rogers Clark (23-7), 5:30 p.m.


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My Blueprint for the City of Rochester
By Raymond A. Grosswirth
I want to begin by thanking a few of my Facebook friends, who have e-mailed me messages designed to encourage me to consider running for Mayor of Rochester. While I am flattered that anyone would even think of me in a mayoral position, I simply must state that I have no intention of placing my hat in the ring. Furthermore, I don't meet the legal requirements for a candidate, as specified in the City of Rochester's Charter. Specifically, a candidate for the Mayor of Rochester must have been a resident of the city for at least two years immediately preceding the election. (Although I spent most of my life within city limits, I have been a resident of the town of Henrietta, New York for the past 17 years.)
While I have been grateful for my Civil Service employment at City Hall for the past twenty-three years, I am also looking forward to my retirement in May of 2011. Could I be coaxed back to City Hall to work in an appointed position by a mayor I support? Perhaps. However, my plans right now are to get back to my many creative pursuits, which have been somewhat on hold during the stressful four-year period of my present position at City Hall.
Now that it is perfectly clear that I am not running for Mayor of the City of Rochester, this is not to say that I don't have ideas for the City's future. I will briefly outline these ideas, based partly on the fact that I am both a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. Therefore, if I were a candidate for Mayor, I would be pushing for drastic cuts in wasteful spending, while at the same time, preserving vital services that are expected from taxpayers.
In the context of my twenty-three years at City Hall, I have seen from the ground up how money is spent. Especially over the course of the past four years, my present position as the City's Accounts Payable Supervisor has allowed me to view documents that have been the springboard for multi-million-dollar expenditures.
I have openly questioned (often to deaf ears) why the City of Rochester is spending literally millions of dollars each year on consultant fees. After all, isn't there enough talent within the ranks of City employees to make decisions that are often a matter of common sense? Do we need to pay a consultant $10,000.00 to determine whether or not a proposal is a good idea? Do we need to pay a consultant to determine whether or not departmental consolidations make sense? Do we need to pay a consultant to determine whether or not a youth intervention program makes sense? In short, one consultant fee after another has cost taxpayers countless millions.
In conjunction with consultant fees, I oversee much of the paperwork associated with the City's professional service agreements. It is fair to say that the City engages in professional service agreements with just about every outside entity imaginable, again costing taxpayers countless millions. While it is certainly important to provide City business to private vendors whenever possible, the City must also continue to look within, to see how much in taxpayer revenue can be saved by allowing City employees to perform functions that are solicited elsewhere at great cost.
I have long questioned the manner in which public works projects are put out for bid. If all legal requirements are met, it is quite common to award contracts to the lowest bidders on such projects. However, the lowest bid quickly escalates to huge dollars after 'change orders' are submitted by contractors awarded the contracts. Fortunately, my complaints on this matter have received an ear and perhaps methodologies will change.
When I ran for public office in 1983, I supported a proposal to merge the City of Rochester's Police Department with the Monroe County Sheriff's Department, which would have created a metro police force. There was widespread support for this proposal, resulting in a voter referendum. Unfortunately, the proposal was rejected. (City residents overwhelmingly supported it; County residents rejected it by a narrow majority.) I think that given the current tight budget that exists at both the City and County levels, it is perhaps time again to consider a police consolidation plan.
As with any government entity, schools swallow up a huge chunk of budget allocations. In Monroe County alone, we have multiple school districts, inclusive of the Rochester City School District. I therefore have to pose a simple question: Does a metro school system make sense, given today's financial realities? It is certainly an idea worthy of some dialogue.
On a weekly basis, I see hundreds of taxpayers standing in line at City Hall to either pay bills or fees. The same scenario plays out on a weekly basis at the Monroe County Office Building. A simple question: Why not consolidate the City and County clerk's offices? It would amount to one-stop shopping and paying for taxpayers.
Downtown Rochester is in the process of undergoing major structural change. I would certainly like to see the downtown district return to the glory of yesteryear. The New York City Times Square district is a perfect example of what can be accomplished with proper planning, combined with enhanced public safety considerations. For example, during a recent visit to the heart of New York City, I never felt endangered, due in large part to the large presence of police officers at every intersection. This will be key to the success of downtown Rochester. People want to feel that it is safe to venture downtown in the evening. Therefore, as plans continue to enhance entertainment and business venues, public safety must be a primary factor if downtown is to come alive with prosperity.
As with any major municipality, most violent crimes occur at the hands of youth and young adults. I fully support any programs that deter such violent activity. However, any initiatives must begin at home. Therefore, any taxpayer funds spent on deterring crime must also be targeted toward parenting skills that will help our youth grow to become responsible adults. I have no magic solution on this topic. The City of Rochester has made great strides toward combating crime and addresses root causes. However, more must be done, whereby the dialogue must continue between youth, parents, schools, police, professional counselors, religious communities and advocacy networks.
I have provided what amounts to a very brief blueprint for the City of Rochester. I want to wish Mayor Robert Duffy well as begins his new post as Lieutenant Governor of the State of New York in January. He has done a superb job as Mayor and his shoes will be hard to fill. He has selected Tom Richards as Rochester's new Deputy Mayor, and the expectation is that Tom will take over as interim Mayor at the appointed time. Tom will do a great job, and whether or not he decides to actually run for the office at the time of the next election is an open question. In the meantime, I hope that Democratic committees will consider Molly Clifford as well. She has enormous talent and should be given every consideration.
As I go about the business of planning for my retirement from my long-time position at City Hall, I will pray that the City of Rochester continues to thrive as one of America's finest cities.
Molly Clifford announced today that she will not be a candidate in the special mayoral election in March. I was prepared to support her candidacy and then perhaps seek a position in her administration. However, I have no doubt that Tom Richards will do a spectacular job after winning the special election (victory is assured). My hope is that he will appoint Molly Clifford as Deputy Mayor. They would be a dynamic team.
Labels: city of rochester, molly clifford, ray grosswirth, robert duffy, rochester mayor, thomas richards


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Mandatory membership equity of $75k + annual membership dues of $17k - $25k/year. Stunning lake front home in the much desired club of Broken Sound. The ideal combo of beach chic found in a country club. High ceilings bring in tons of natural light to this bright and clean home. This is a two-story unit with the master downstairs.
Basketball, Bike - Jog, Billiards, Business Center, Clubhouse, Community Room, Exercise Room, Game Room, Golf Course, Lobby, Pool, Putting Green, Sauna, Sidewalks, Spa-Hot Tub, Tennis, Whirlpool
Cable, 3-Phase Electric, Public Sewer, Public Water
Built-in Shelves, Ctdrl/Vault Ceilings, Foyer, Sky Light(s), W/D Hookup, Walk-in Closet
Auto Garage Open, Central Vacuum, Dishwasher, Disposal, Dryer, Microwave, Range - Electric, Refrigerator, Smoke Detector, Storm Shutters, Washer, Water Heater - Elec
Auto Sprinkler, Covered Patio, Fence, Screened Patio, Shutters
< 1/4 Acre, Paved Road, Public Road, Sidewalks, Zero Lot
Spanish River Community High School
Bex Realty, LLC.
All listings featuring the BMLS logo are provided by Beaches MLS Inc. Copyright 2019 Beaches MLS. This information is not verified for authenticity or accuracy and is not guaranteed.
© 2019 Beaches Multiple Listing Service, Inc. All rights reserved.
Listing information last updated on November 18th, 2019 at 7:45pm EST.


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man, how 'boout them Holidaze? good times 'eh? treated me well, lot's of to and fro, and thanks for the continued interest in the cogs and rings, ya'll kept me hoppin'. Saw some new sights, reacquainted some old with the new-ish. Very generous consolidated gifting enabled me to pick up a DSLR, lots to learn, gonna be fun for sure. Looks like I'll be at Westminster, figuring to have a selection of cogs and some rings, hope to have some of the roadie/cross sizes along. Anyway, enough with the marketing... Finally visited Valley Forge, finally.
Monday, January 14, 2013
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Military voting threatens caucuses
In an unexpected political twist, a move to include overseas military personnel and wounded warriors in the presidential nominating process could threaten the caucuses in Iowa and other states.
At both the Republican and Democratic national conventions over the summer, delegates proposed rules changes to enhance the ability of overseas service members and injured troops to participate in the caucuses.
Story Continued Below
A Republican rules change asserting that states "shall use every means practical to guarantee" the participation of overseas and injured service members in the presidential nominating process was designed to enhance military voting. But in the case of Iowa and other caucus states, where voters must be present to participate, it also has the side effect of forcing changes in traditional procedures — and raising questions about the future viability of the caucuses themselves.
"The coalition of people who were supporting it — some just cared deeply about the military, and some thought of it as a vehicle [for change], because they think caucuses are fundamentally unjust," said one Republican strategist who supported the rule.
"If someone wants to join my cause for some other reason, well, they're supporting the cause. I think there's a good argument that the caucus system ought to be defanged, even putting aside military voting," said Sam Wright, a director at the Reserve Officers Association.
Reacting to a perceived threat to their state's long-standing, first-in-the-nation caucuses, Iowa members of the Republican National Committee extracted a compromise that explicitly outlined that the purpose of the rule is not to eliminate the caucuses.
Still, there's the looming challenge of incorporating overseas service members into a caucus system based on showing up at a local home, school or church basement.
During the Democratic convention, a similar measure was proposed but roundly defeated.
At the same time, some military voting-rights advocates point to the challenges of implementing the MOVE Act, a 2009 law meant to expand military voter access. Some suggest the Obama administration is slow-walking the reforms.
Among its requirements, the MOVE Act mandates that the military establish voting assistance offices on every installation worldwide (outside war zones) and for states to transmit ballots to absentee voters at least 45 days before federal elections.
A Defense Department inspector general's report on the MOVE Act examined the effectiveness of the voter assistance offices by attempting to contact 224 of them — and failing about half the time.
"It seems to me that the DOD made sure that they got the 'don't ask, don't tell' surveys to every member of the military, to every spouse, to everybody that it was supposed to. But when it comes to military voting, it seems that we're not able to get the absentee ballots to our soldiers," said Rep. Austin Scott (R-Ga.) at a hearing on military voting. "It seems to me that there's a different standard there when it comes to a survey that the DOD or the administration actually wanted a response to."
"They need to go out of their way right now to make this one of their priorities, like a lot of the social stuff that they find important," Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) told POLITICO. "When it comes to sexual harassment, when it comes to things like suicide prevention, when the DOD wants to get the word out on anything, they're able to do so. … I would rank our men and women on our bases being able to vote up there with anything that DOD should be focusing on."
The message from those two Republicans was that if the Obama administration had made overseas military voting a top priority, officials would have made more progress improving it.


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Health Care(less), Part 3
(I get a lot of billing questions on the phone.)
Customer: *irately* "I need to know why my insurance was canceled at the end of July."
(I look up his policy in our database.)
Me: "Sir, you haven't paid your bill since May."
Customer: "I have to pay my bill?"


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Jul 03, 2013 - 10:27 am
How am I supposed to feel now about Recurrence #4?
How would anyone feel if it were them?
I believe the operative word when I broke the news to the community was 'stunned.'
That's certainly how I felt...
It felt like the classic sucker punch. I was finally getting to break the long awaited news of getting approved for the magazine article. And it didn't mean anything to me until I could tell you about it.
That was a Friday….
By Monday, I got the first hint of things to come...and was so stunned, that I just had this compelling need to get with my folks fast.
I've thought about this the past few days…and with all of the upcoming appointments (now scheduled) and phone calls etc. etc, talks with my wife, talks with myself……I'd say that stunned has now morphed into Shock.
It made me think to what Steved told me the other day, when he essentially asked me where my emotions were at?
This morning, on the way in to work, my thoughts drifted back to the movie Hamburger Hill, circa 1987. The battle was being fought in the Ashau Valley. During one of many bloody assaults up the hill, there was an explosion.
As the smoke cleared, a soldier was calling out on his 2-way radio to give their location and request assistance. Calm and cool, the soldier was transmitting and receiving information.
Then, a soldier walked up to him and took the phone out of his hand and said, "Sir, your arm is gone…"
That was a classic story of Shock and how it operates…
I'm thinking that's probably much of what I was going through in my first transmission out to you. I keep a pretty level head (mostly), but there are times when news can overwhelm even the strongest of dispositions.
Once Shock begins to wear off, we begin to enter a new realm of Awareness. It's the transitional period between Denial & Reality.
I've never truly been in denial…but this time, I think what happened was on some kind of cognizant level, I understood the situation up to a certain point that I would allow myself to understand.
But then, there is that part of the brain that only allows you to absorb so much at one time. Any more overload than that can crash our systems and send us spiraling to the bottom.
So, just below the surface we find ourselves not denying – but Not Accepting either.
As reality permeates the outer dermis to your soul, the sediment begins to settle…and from there, your fears and apprehensions begin to take root in the past – a past that you wanted so badly to forget ever existed.
It can chill you to the bone, because, IF we acknowledge its existence – then it becomes real. - sometimes too achingly real.
It's all just a part of the evolving process that finally gets our mind meandering towards the Path of Acceptance, where we eventually have to find our footing once more.
As a long-term active fighter, I know that I've talked a good game and set the bar pretty high for myself. I expect a lot out of myself and folks accordingly, expect a lot out of me as well.
In a lot of ways, I felt like I let the community down in a big way with this recent news – and in the process of doing so, I felt like I had stuck a dagger into the heart of Hope.
I get Hope through watching other's stories and their examples. And there are probably a couple of you out there, who have watched my struggles and have derived something from that at one time or the other.
When we see Longevity take a hit, it sounds that audible alarm within each one of us that shatters the pre-conceived illusions that we created to protect ourselves in the battle.
When a fellow soldier 'falls' or lays wounded beside us, it can't do anything but make you wonder…about a great many things.
It is one of the most sobering inventories there is to take…because, immediately you run your own assessment of your own situation and compare that to the person whose news broke.
In a lot of ways, it can make your blood run as cold as ice water….
And, that's because you don't like what you see…you don't like it for that person…and you don't want to face that prospect for yourself – either as patient or caregiver.
It's completely normal….
Reality Checks are the barometers we use to measure the constantly changing pressure patterns that comprise our lives.
Tragic events always act as the human compass that we use to gauge where we are at within our own existence – which we then use to measure in our own relational context to that of another in a parallel situation.
From there, we look for similarities and patterns that might mirror our own…and while it still frightens us to look at – in some strange way, it provides comfort as well.
It provides comfort from the standpoint that you are not the only one experiencing it…somehow, through the struggle of others; we find that common chord of humanity that resonates within each one of us – and binds us all together like no other form of human endeavor ever can.
Because, it speaks clearly to the fears that all of us have…
Enough philosophy – let's get down to business…
Well, I talked to the onc by phone and personally, I didn't necessarily like what I heard from him.
He said to worry about the liver….and not to worry about the lung…or the spine.
Let's start with the liver then…
Now, I had mentioned that there were options available at my facility…and there are….and that's good news for cancer patients in our area. However, my available weapons of choice appear now to be quite limited.
The reason for this is my liver itself….I've got NASH – which is non alcoholic steteohepatitis. Within that conglomeration of terminology, I have stage I fibrosis.
This exacerbates an already difficult situation with regards to treatment options.
I was fortunate to escape the liver the first time….when they opened me up the first time, they found all of this and my surgeon concluded that an 80% resection would kill me on the O/R table.
So, he switched over to RFA…and I had to do Cyberknife radio surgery behind that to get locally clear.
So, RFA was all I had then….the gold standard of resection was out then….and it's out now….my liver just (ain't) gonna' take it…
They all told me that I would have cancer back in the liver within One Year – guaranteed!
Well, we made it 5 ½ years clear in the liver…
Having talked to my onc, he now feels that even RFA might be too much of a shock for my liver to handle. I got a call from the radiology office informing me of an appointment I knew nothing about (next week).
That leads me to believe that the consensus now shifts to SBRT as the planned methodology of attack. I'll have to gather more data when I confer with him.
Onc said he's ready to take out my spleen…
I told him that lends me the impression that he is thinking of re-introducing the Oxy….the oxy heavily compromised my body's ability to produce platelets at a level of recovery that matches pace with Oxy's ability to destroy them.
I told him I'd do Folfiri again, before we go back to Oxy….
I'm really dead anyway (at some point) and I can't live with the severe burning and tingling 24-hours a day….and besides that, it's not really going to work in the long run anyway.
Then, I'd have progression and extreme sensations…..just can't see putting myself back through that, when I was so fortunate to walk away with only some residual damage….though it continues to get a little worse each year…as bad as it's been, now 9-years from last transmission.
All that aside though, he said that removing my spleen with an abnormal liver condition that I have could lead to serious complications, but he was going to talk to a GI surgeon. Under normal circumstances, for most folks, that operation is not all that serious and folks do well.
What separates me is that I'm fighting a 2-pronged attack in the liver…..metastatic rectal cancer + NASH stage I fibrosis liver……I simply may not have enough to go around with my liver, is the early report. I'm already feeling some twinges of pain in the liver area…
We may have to lean on SBRT to fight with…and hope there is some buy-time there. .
Now, onc said not too worry about lungs and spine…
There's evidence of metastatic activity in the pleura of my lung again….and there's metastatic indications around the L2, which they report could be lumbar…or the entire spine itself.
That's got my attention….
Now, I get the fact that if we can't stop it in the liver, then they won't go operate on multiple locations. However, I still really don't get that, I think they could attack in multiple areas – what is there to really lose at this point?
Here's the thing…
Over the last 8-9 days, I've developed increasing pain in my lung whenever I try and breathe too deeply – sharp stabbing pain – the kind that makes your face wrinkle all up.
Breathing is shallower now, because it hurts too bad to inhale…
It's been like that since my second lung surgery….all of the scar tissue from both surgeries (7-wedge resections) and the subsequent 10% they destroyed with the radiation has left me short of breath and in pain on a daily basis.
But, this is different…a different feeling….and a different kind of pain sensation.
It takes me right back to where my last fight started…for fight #3.
It was in the pleura of my right lung as well…it had grown to a point where it had imbedded itself deep into my rib cage…and began compromising my breathing and left me doubled over in pain, gasping for air…but it hurt to breathe in.
Now, it gets better…
The tumor was also right up next to….the spine…my surgeon had to stop short, because any further action, he was afraid of risking paralysis.
He sawed out two ribs L5 and L6, I think….and at the time, they biopsied negative for cancer….which was a huge relief….nobody wants it in the spine…..that's a one-way trip….and I know it.
So, let me add this up…..hmmm, increased pain in a short time in the pleural area of the lung….a little bit higher up than the previous version…
We have strong probabilities of metastatic disease in the spine…..where the last tumor was so dangerously close to that the surgeon could not risk operating any further.
Hardly…simple mathematics really…
But, I'm told to not worry about this….only the liver.
Sorry, but in another week or two's time, I'm going to be hurting even harder. The last couple of nights, I've been forced to the Tramadol, to try and ease enough pain to fall asleep.
And I've also been having terrible lower back pain for the past 7-months….the kind of pain that drives you out of the bed – and won't let you sleep in – because, you physically can't.
This is in the area of the original rectal radiation, but either's it's degenerating further…or there might be metastasis there…..they indicated lumbar and/or entire spine.
But, let's not worry about it…..good grief, what are we paying these guys for?
So, this looks to be a very serious situation…and I bet would be some kind of fight to boot.
I wasn't satisfied with my onc's assessment of my situation….so I decided to take matters into my own hands and dial in a few relationships that I've fostered up there.
So, I put the call into legendary cardio/thoracic surgeon, Dr. D. Actually, I went through his PA, but she's cool and will give him my message. I explained to her what I've explained to you.
I asked her to have Dr. D. please review the recent PET/CT scans along with the accompanying medical report and give me his expert medical opinion….and I said, I'm ready for a VATS or an exploratory surgery right now.
The pain is getting that bad….
I'm pending a reply back from her….might be by phone, or I said I'd come there for a consult.
I've never met a pain killer that was worth a dam for killing pain…not the kind they dispense like PEZ…hydrocodone or percoset….at this rate, at some point, I would need something that might work…like a Fentanyl patch or something.
And I'm having to work still and keep a straight face and hide the pain and not let on at work that I'm in pain…..I can do that for awhile, but last time, I was doubled over at work and folks were talking.
They didn't care….just talking….even my boss, he magically never sees anything, until it's time for me to make my announcement. And then he's pissed I won't be here to work the projects.
People usually get tired of you having cancer after the first time – the novelty of it all simply wears off.
Also of interest, my surgical onc has now reassigned me to another surgical onc…
Now, in some way, that makes you feel kind of funny – like they don't know what to do with you and just toss you out to the curb…..that's the feeling anyway.
I did some research on the guy and it looks like his oncological specialty is with the liver – so that's probably why they moved me over to him. This might be a good thing, but just new and unknown until we can establish some kind of a working relationship.
Profile says he is patient based and relies on a good rapport with his patients….so, I'm approaching this change with an open mind.
Right now, I've just go an appointment set up him…..and then two weeks further down the road, I go back to radiology…back to the guy who radiated my lungs….according to my onc, his approach is a little more aggressive than the next guy.
I will be hoping to hear from my lung surgeon's office about a consult to go over this…or a phone call so I can hear what he thinks….I value his opinion and he's the #3 rated cardio/thoracic surgery in the entire DFW area, as voted by his peers.
He and I are Team Da Vinci….#1 Patient/Surgeon Tandem to do the robot surgery on the lungs:)
As I said earlier, part of us just doesn't want to acknowledge the 'realness' of things until we have to….but when appointments start getting made, and you begin to think about leaving work….and wondering if you'll make it back this time….or whether your liver can withstand what needs to be done….
Then, it gets all fuzzy and you become flustered and overwhelmed between regular life and the cancer world knocking on your door again….'real' gets a whole lot brighter.
LindaK – are you out there?
Here's another story for you. You know how I told you that we say things we really don't want to say – but still feel compelled to say them?
I had some of that over the weekend…..all of a sudden, you were putting fertilizer and mulch down…..you get news that it might not matter…and then you try and focus on the business task anyway….because it needs to be done while you are physically able to do so.
And I'd slip and say something to her, like well, this will be my last football season…or are you going to miss me when I'm gone? Or, when I'm gone, we've got this done and all that you will have to do……
Part of me told you, that as men, we sort of do that as a test for our women…we're really using you for our sounding board and we hope to hear the echoes of love coming back.
And I had indicated that it was because some of the guys did not get the mothering and nurturing they needed growing up?
Well, both of those are true….
But, you know why else we really do those things, Linda?
I feel it's because by mouthing the words, it somehow takes the shocking sting out of the idea of what it will feel like to die – and leave all that we know behind. It's sort of a mental exercise that we go through, thinking that it will help prep us for the inevitable.
By saying it in our moments of vulnerability, it becomes real to us and the hopes are that it lessens the hurt each time that we say it.
It doesn't, of course…and still we can't help ourselves.
Why are we scared to face death?
Because, physical life is all we've ever known…and death remains the great unknown….and unknown is always a scary proposition, even on our best days.
I've got more I could say, but that will be it for this edition….I've got ideas for a new slant for the next one.
I just want to thank everyone again for all of their love and support.
A couple of my relatives crawled out of the woodwork Sunday and Monday….we have not heard one word from either side of those families (my side) in over a year now…last we saw, they peeled rubber out of the restaurant parking lot following the funeral they couldn't get gone quick enough.
No need to visit or anything…it's just Craig. Let's just do our obligatory duty and then get the hell out of here. Just show up and take a legal stance that "They Were There" for us, according to society's definition.
I told them I was not in the conscience clearing business anymore…
I have forgiven all of them and had decided to just let them be and go on with their lives….if they haven't caught wind of something, this wouldn't be an issue, they would still be silent….but care about me. Oh brother.
I'm no charity case and when people show up just to 'show up', it leaves one feeling de-valued and worthless and not worth their time.
One of 'em stalks this board apparently….and must have read my update and then over the grapevine, my wife gets a call from one of my aunts (she cops out and goes around me)….and then the next day, get an email from my uncle.
All of a sudden, they realize it's been a long time since we last spoke – and we just wanted to see how your health is holding up?
If it weren't so comical, it would be pathetic – actually, there apathy makes my blood run cold.
I set the record straight yesterday and said the things I needed to say – and I didn't hold anything back. The Lion roared and told them the truth….and told them no further communication would be necessary and I didn't want to talk to anyone at this time.
It's highly unlikely now, that I will ever hear from any of them again….
So, all I've got for this fight is my wife, my dog….and YOU. And we've added the Lord now this round….along with Trust & Faith…two ladies whom I've never given myself to.
Somehow, I think a part of this fight will revolve around them…
I'm being tested since I turned it all over recently – my new faith is now being tested – I have no idea where we are going with this 4th recurrence.
Jen/Chels – you gals asked me to write a post about how I had coped with things through three cancers in nine years….rather than show you a re-run, why not watch my answer unfold as we move forward into something unknown for me.
It's going to be much different than what I would have originally posted. But then again, things changed suddenly, didn't they?
Outside of that family flare, we've done pretty good….staying busy at work….working hard at home….even harder now as we'll have to ramp down at some point.
I just wanted to say that I've enjoyed this group of folks – and am glad you are here.
I am sorry that I let you down….part of me feels like I failed you. There's a certain emptiness I'm feeling inside from that.
I just didn't want to be the one that destroyed Hope – and when the room went silent after that quick staccato, I felt the heaviness in the air and knew that I had hurt some people – and I'm very sorry for that.
I wouldn't have been able to hide it from you for long anyway…eventually, you would have figured something was wrong.
Obviously, I'm quite concerned and somewhat apprehensive about upcoming events in my future. Still a lot of worry, because we're still fleshing it all out and making appointments, so there is a high degree of uncertainty there as a result until after those meetings.
I want to believe that these other areas would not be of concern…but noticeable SUV levels and increasing pain, loss of appetite now etc. etc. has got me wondering.
So, now I'm slowly accepting the realization (after this latest failure) that this will be life now – for as long as I have it. If I'm very fortunate, I'll get cancer again….fight hard…return to work…and wait for the clock to strike midnight again…
It's happened four times now….
It's interesting, because for anyone that might remember, from the very first second that I stopped treatment; I told everyone that #4 was really already here.
I guess I'm just really surprised that it took this long 'this time' for it to return….
I've removed the word 'Cure' out of my vocabulary forever now….I think the pattern has become pretty clear….and I'm one of the lucky ones. There will probably be no escape for me now.
I might break loose….but doesn't look like I'll break free…we'll see.
Of course, the story of my physical cancer has never garnished much interest with regards to my approach of it.
But, if we're really paying attention…take a look at what you are seeing…
My story shows us all how even at an early stage, the fight can wage on for a lifetime…I was a IIb…then I moved up in class to a metastatic stage IV...and have been one ever since.
So, this is a tale of how quickly things can change and how quickly you can fall…and the role of being a metastatic stage 4 can be every bit as challenging as a dx stage 4.
I guess we can talk more later...if you want to listen…
All my love and hope to each…….
Jul 03, 2013 - 11:01 am
I will always be here, I cannot remove myself from this 4th edition. Do not feel bad, your words go right into all of our souls. You're right - everyone has the same fears so I can only say for myself - thank you for voicing those fears. It helps all of us deal with cancer.
My husband said something yesterday similar to "you'll miss me when I'm gone" and I though of you, Craig, and I just took his hand and said "Yes I will" See how you have helped me (and my husband) just by knowing what is going on in his head?? THANK YOU for all that insight. How lucky I am to have found this site and to hear your wonderful and kind words. I wish I had your gift of writing such awesome words, but I can thank you over and over for sharing your words with us. They have such a calming effect on me.
Love, Linda
Jul 03, 2013 - 11:07 am
We are sending you are Love and support! We all need as many people sending good thoughts and prayers for each of us to find our solution. I understand your battle and I have a Loving wife always at my side during the battle. I have it easier then some, and harder then some. Each of us have our own battle.
Best Always, mike
PS When we find out about more trials at UCSD we will ppost the info on how to get in them.
Jul 03, 2013 - 11:48 am
Your post brings tears to my eyes. Not because it reminds me of what could happen to me but because you have to face this terrible reality again. There is nothing to appologize for. You didn't let us down. Cancer let us down by choosing to attack you again.
I am glad that you put your family behind you. You don't need any negative distractions.
I am also glad that you are not accepting your oncologist approach and are taking charge of the situation.
Please keep us up to date on any developments.
Thanks for taking the time to write another great post.
We are your family.
Jul 03, 2013 - 12:34 pm
Please know that you have NOT let us down or stolen our hope! You did not ask for this to happen.
Given how much you have given us and been there for us, we would have been hurt if you had kept this to yourself and not let us as your family be there for you.
As you rally your medical troups and assess the options, know that we are here for whatever you need in emotional support. I know there are many who wish we were not separated by such distance so we could help in other ways as well.
Sending you many hugs, much love and hope.
Marie who loves kitties
Jul 03, 2013 - 2:02 pm
That would have hurt people far worse....by not saying anything.
I'm about the truth behind the story of cancer...still, when folks see long-termers stumble, it can send a shockwave through them...know it always has for me.
When we were all trying to bang into the site last Friday and over w/end, I made sure I got a blurb of an update out there, because I didn't want folks going the whole w/end wondering...and fortunately, I was able to get a short post through.
I hope over the next 2-3 weeks, we'll know much more...and knowing a little will undoubtedly be of some kind of benefit...and then the speculation can stop.
I really want to hear from my lung guy...my QOL is declining fast already...I mean quick....I can feel the difference in just a couple of weeks....and it's not psychosomatic either.
Kim and I had talked about a trip at some point....and we always think that we will get notice from cancer, so we can plan for it.
I'm hurting badly enough right now, that I couldn't enjoy anything too much...a few more weeks, and yeah, I'm concerned. I'm having a hard time now just as it is.
I fear we might have waited too long...
We had the chance to try and meet 'my other family' this November.....LMS's sister was selected for Make-A-Wish and chose Disneyworld in Florida:)
Last year, during the Garage Talks with my niece and nephew, I told them about taking our first 'family vacation' together...
We just got news of the dates....my niece was all excited, and texted me "Our Family Vacation."
This was before I got the news....she was so excited and really wants me to be there. I almost texted her back and then something stopped me...
And then the news....
And when I read her text, it broke my heart and I started tearing and just couldn't rain on her parade. My wife subsequetly told her...
I don't ask for much in this world - I've long given up on expecting too much to work out for me. But, I wanted this trip....as if it were my last one. I wanted to see Mickey and Cinderella through my little girl's eyes...
Logistically, it was going to be a challenge, but we were going to try and make a few days of their trip...through the generosity of that charity, they are covered and so it opened up the door that might have never been opened otherwise....you don't always get to go to The Happiest Place On Earth too many times in one's lifetime.
So, I'm really brokenhearted at this....
It's their trip, but was just hoping to touch and spend a little bit of time with the only physical family that remains for me....at best, I can only catch them once a year.....LMS is growing up so fast...she's really changed.....was 3 last year....and just turned 4.
It would be easy for me to feel bitter about this.....all of you know my story....know my struggles....and just when something like this is within reach....as usual, it is just far enough out of my grasp.
I've always said I don't have much to fight for...not the type of things that most folks fight for...if I make it through this fight alive, my reward will be to come back to this same nasty, hateful workplace and be shunned in silence like they've done to me the past 17-months.
So, I was hoping for just a little something, you know?
I've turned my life over to God....tried to make it right....tried to do the right things...and yet He tests me harder and harder....and for what?
There is a part of me that just wants to go lie down right now....and never wake up.
I'm just so tired of trying....and not achieving....
I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'm just hurt...I had dared to dream.....and look what that got me.
I had a dream that I told Wolfen's J about...
I told her that God probably wants to use me now, so I can articulate how it feels to die and try and help people through that. His goal may not be to save me this time - but to take me out of here.
That would be one hell of a sacrifice...and yet what can I do, Marie.
In my studies with Dr. Stanley, I've come to understand that He "allows" things to happen for His purpose....so this 4th cancer was allowed......but, for what Marie? For what?
Is there any rhyme or reason to any of it?
I don't mean to complain, but over the course of my life (after 1969) I've been stripped of much of what life is supposed to be about....I was just hoping to get a small slice of somthing before all was said and done.
I'm upset about many things.....
I just wanted to go and finally take a trip and have a good time - with my new family!!!!!!
Is that really so much to ask for from the Almighty?
I see everybody else getting to go on their trips...I just thought I might finally get my turn:(
Thanks for letting me whine...I love you:)
And I just don't understand.....
Jul 03, 2013 - 2:11 pm
my heart is breaking here. You haven't let us down in any way. Just the opposite, in fact. You've provided a great deal of guidance and support to people here, and now it's our turn to do the same for you. We will walk this path with you, every step of the way.
I can't make any comment on the ways of the Almighty, not being a believer myself, but I am a huge believer in humanity, in our ability to hold together as a community, and to share our hearts with each other. You've done that in the good times, and it will be a great gift to all of us to have you continue to do this, as best you can, during the journey ahead.
I wish you could get that trip.
Lots o' love from your librarian gal.
Jul 03, 2013 - 4:19 pm
I am so sorry to hear of your new troubles. We all walk to God on different paths, but Yours is the bumpiest I'v ever seen.
Jul 03, 2013 - 4:48 pm
Hey Craig,
Just wanted to address this letting people down business. I wasn't a CSN member last time you were dealing with a recurrence but I do know what you were dealing with in terms of the cancer. It was quite widespread. I have always thought your cancer would return. I have always thought there would be a number 4. But, after all that other cancer, liver, lungs.... You got two years of remission. To me that is amazingly hopeful. Recurrence number four changes nothing. You're story is and always will be a success story. Your situation, at times, was very grim. You were very sick. You turned that into two years of NED. You are still in that small group of long time CSN members that gives me hope. I am not sure that Steve will be able to turn things around this time. But sometimes I think of how you struggled with your last recurrences and then went on to be clear for two years and it gives me hope. Nothing has changed.
Jul 03, 2013 - 5:42 pm
Words do not come from me as beautifully written as they do you. I wish that they did. My thoughts and feelings mirror many others here. I have heard you in my soul. You have a wonderful gift. And although the platform that I have come to "know" you sucks, I feel so incredibly blessed to have been touched by you Craig.
He does have plans for you. Time will tell what those plans are. Stay strong.
Love and hugs from the Delta,
Jul 03, 2013 - 3:56 pm
I'm so sorry Craig that you are hurting physically and emotionally. I'm really hoping things start looking up and you can take that trip. You deserve it! So frustrating that you cant just move on and live life after fighting so hard and long already.
Jul 03, 2013 - 5:16 pm
Your post moved me very much. I know in my heart, that every person on this board would never, ever, even consider that you let them down.
Even though I don't get on here as much as I would like, or feel qualified to answer some postings, I try to read as many posts as I can to keep up with the good people on this board. Which leads to your posts Craig, you put your heart and soul into each and every sentence you write and that takes a lot of chutzpah if you ask me. And I thank you for that.
Jul 03, 2013 - 5:31 pm
It is a difficult and very sad time for many of us on this board. You and Steved have been supportive of so many people over the years . It is hard for people to see their hopes and heroes in a fight for their lives. I wish it were otherwise. I have never said much about God and religion all along I simply have had faith in my own abilities to deal with things that way if I do something stupid I only have my self to blame.
Jul 03, 2013 - 6:40 pm
Your "cup runneth over". If only it were wine. I am certainly not trying to be funny with that expression. My heart just breaks for you and Kim with all that you are facing right now.
As I read the portion of your post concerning emotions, it was as if you had been standing next to me on the day I went to see Ron and his room was empty due to his being moved to ICU. I didn't see that one coming and after talking to the doctor, the bottom just kind of dropped out. I knew in the long run that he would not survive the cancer treatments, but one minute he was complaining to the nurse that he wanted "off this blood machine and on to rehab" and the next minute "my" Ron was gone. In the blink of an eye............
I went through each of the emotions that you described, but I never lost Hope until the very end. Do not lose Hope, my friend. Fight with every weapon you have. I know it will be a terrible uphill battle, but Hope and I and all of your family here will be right beside you.
I wish that I could find the faith that you and JBG have, but I am stuck and always will be at the "I don't understand" part. Not just for all of us here, but for tragedies, in general.
We had a discussion once about feeling that we had earned a little happiness, but I think we concluded that nobody really ever "earns" anything, no matter how you live your life. I think of those nineteen young men, that died Sunday fighting the widfire north of here, and for what. What purpose did that serve for "God"? For what purpose is he allowing you to go through this again?
I'm sorry, but I truly don'y understand, either. You know you will be in my thoughts.
Jul 03, 2013 - 10:35 pm
My dear, dear Craig.
I never want to read this kind of news about anyone here, but I especially never wanted to read it about you. You are a very precious person to all of us in the group. You have always had such good advice, and your posts are so beautifully written. Even in this heartbreaking post, there is so much to admire about the way you put the words together.
I'm glad you are having faith be a part of this portion of the journey, and I will be praying for you here. And trust me on this, my friend, if you go "to Paris," you will never, ever be forgotten. You will be in my heart always.
Jul 06, 2013 - 4:07 am
My dear friend. I am here and I will be here. I am heartbroken my friend. Lifting you in the light.