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#museumpractices: The Museum on My Mind, Part I
#Hashtags provides a platform for longer reconsiderations of artworks and art practices outside of the review format and in new contexts. Today #Hashtags kicks off a new series on the institution of the museum, by writer Rob Marks. Stay tuned for Part II, and please send queries and/or ideas for future columns to email@example.com.
Part I: If the Walls Would Not Speak
The museum is the kindest parent, ushering me to the brink, toward moments of wonder and awe, insight and revelation. But almost at once, it is the cruelest parent, jerking me back, repossessing the very experience it had allowed me to glimpse. Although it is laudable for museums to exalt the goal of "activating" the visitor, of nurturing visitor engagement and visitor choice, the structure of museums turns the visit into a battle for control and unearths a central tension of museum practice. On the one hand is the archeological experience of a cultural object, which claims the object as an illustration within a narrative to tell the visitor something about the context of the object, its meaning for others; on the other hand is the aesthetic experience of an art object, during which the object escapes its historical–cultural context, illustrating nothing except the visitor and telling the visitor something about the self.
It is an old tension, and it would be unreasonable to expect that it might have been resolved by now. It is, simply put, not for resolving. This vigorous state of irresolution, however, has not been matched by an equally unsettled set of museum practices. Although much has been written about exhibition commentary and structure, and new technology has inspired new formats of presenting information, museum methods have remained remarkably fixed in their philosophy: to marshal language toward interpretation. This article is the first in a series of essays, a polemic, a tribute, a sensation: a quest to enter into this churning tranquility. I am not a curator, nor am I a museum director faced with the demands of a dozen constituencies. I am simply a traveler, a visitor, a child of the museum who is beginning to feel cheated out his inheritance, out of the wonder that is—or should be—the legacy of the museum.
With or Without
"We can get along with education, or without it," the pioneering composer and artist John Cage said nine months before he died in August 1992. Cage was responding to poet and scholar Joan Retallack's question, "Knowing the extent to which [your work] is a result of chance operations teaches me something about seeing, and about the radical contingency of events in our world. . . . But how would one notice any of this . . . if one knew nothing about how and why you have worked the way you do?"[1] Retallack means how would one know that Cage applied the system of "chance operations" for which he was famous, as a tool to marshal "indeterminacy," to put "the intention of the mind . . . out of operation"[2] during his creative process? How would one know that the composition of both his musical works and the prints he produced at San Francisco's Crown Point Press over the last 15 years of his life, by reflecting this "radical contingency," reveal something about the nature of world? Retallack said of Cage's Where R=Ryoanji print series (1991):
"I was seeing them as I was trained to see "abstract" drawings, looking for elements of balance and design. Then I remembered that they were tracings of chance comings together. . . . At that moment of remembering, or realization, everything changed. I was no longer seeing "design"—something heavy and portentous; I was seeing the lightness, the grace and fragility of chance—how wonderful that that had come together in that way. But also how close it was to not happening at all. I would not have had this experience without knowing how you work. It was the conceptual context, that I took on, that opened up that way of seeing. And it seems to me that it is that context, of knowing the chance procedures, that keeps those traces from solidifying. . . . Keeps them from losing the motion that's in them as events that have just grazed this piece of paper. It's as though at any moment they could glance off again, fly apart."[3]
In a museum dominated by narrative, "knowing" is often framed as the province of language. For Retallack, and indeed for most museum curators and educators, the context of an exhibit—the recitation that places the work and the artist within the art historical, sociopolitical, psychobiographical and other frameworks—is crucial to the visitor's experience of the work. The structure of this recitation is not merely the "talk"—the wall plaques and labels that ornament the artworks, the audio guides and brochures that narrate the exhibit, the docent tours that explore it—but also the "walk"—the sequencing that governs the procession, as if on a conveyor belt, from one label—and its artwork—to another, one gallery in order to the next. On the 100th anniversary of Cage's birthday—September 5, 1912—it makes sense to ask why this tendency is so prevalent and what structures allow it to manifest as such a jekyllhydian parent.
Despite the fact that Retallack is right—Cage's work does resonate differently when I understand his process—"knowing" also disrupts my engagement. An artwork without label would seem to be if not mute, then at least reticent, but to what extent does the commentary of a label or a wall plaque arrest experience before it has a chance to develop? Just as the silence of Cage's piano during his iconic composition 4'33" (1952)—nary a note is played—reveals the ambient sound of the world as music, the silence of the absent label—which seems to be an emptiness—reveals the sound of an artwork that words might obscure.
A Label By Any Other Name . . .
If Cage demurs to Retallack, "We can get along with education, or without it," his formulation of "tourist attitude" suggests where his heart lies: "without it." He'd prefer to be without either the talk of a guidebook or the walk of a map. Cage defines "tourist attitude" as the proposition to "act as though you've never been there before. So that you're not supposed to know anything about it."[4] Even if you do know something, Cage says, things will be different from what you've read, or even from your past experiences of the artwork, because the conditions of viewing, and being, are different now from what they were then. For Cage, then, wall text, and even the sequencing of an exhibit, seems to be too much information. This is less an offense—since, he says, it "will do"—than a lost opportunity to engage what gets scuttled in the frenzy of activity: the serendipity of wandering and, in response to unforeseen encounters, wondering. In fact, Cage, never settling for the predictability that wall text and sequence enforce, curated two exhibits that used chance operations to identify, place, and frequently rotate works during each exhibit's run.[5]
Jonathan Franzen offers perhaps the most graceful counterargument to Cage's tourist attitude. Writing about Edith Wharton's capacity to evoke compassion for the most unsympathetic characters, characters "we wouldn't like in real life," he observes: "[T]he alchemical agent by which fiction transmutes my secret envy or dislike of 'bad' people into sympathy is desire." Once an author gives a character a "powerful desire," Franzen suggests, "I, as a reader, become helpless not to make that desire my own."[6]
Could it be that wall commentary, often far less compelling than a Wharton novel, nonetheless narrates that particular characteristic within the life of a particular artist that might make that artist's intention palpable enough that I, the visitor, might magically embrace the artist's desire as my own? I root for the artist, even if, as Franzen says of many a Wharton heroine, the character of his or her work might otherwise baffle or alarm me. It's not that I relinquish my judgment but that I suspend it, at least for long enough to view the work through the artist's—or, at least, the curator's evocation of the artist's—loving eyes.
Or is the power of some artwork so embedded in history or theory that, unaided by commentary, the visitor might overlook the works because they seem meaningless or intimidating? For architectural and art historian Laura Hollengreen, commentary is not a supplement to (or an enrichment of) the experience, as Retallack seems to suggest, but a crucial component of it.[7] Commentary, for Hollengreen, frontloads meaning—symbolism in Dutch art or indeterminacy in John Cage's work—and builds confidence in order to seed an experience that might otherwise fail to develop.
Does Franzen's seduction or Hollengreen's education suspend or produce the very agency that many museums say they are seeking to activate in me? Once again, I find myself with an ambivalent parent, on the one hand encouraging me toward a Cagean tour of the world, and, on the other, seeking to shelter me from danger—the danger of misunderstanding the work or condemning the artist—by ensuring that I never stray far from home.
Narrative of Self; Narrative of Other
For a given curator, the process of exhibition making may be a joyful sharing, a labor of intimacy with, if not love, of the material. As curator and critic Simon Sheikh recounts, however, the museum's historical roots gather nourishment from the language not only of "cultivation," but also "corrective vision." Sheikh says, "the right way of seeing . . . was offered as narrative pleasure, giving the spectator access to the viewpoints of power—indeed, empowering them by infusing them with knowledge while situating them within the grand narrative of the nation state and Western civilization," an enterprise that continues "through to today's multi-facetted and mediated art institutions with their confluence of spectacle and education, national history and multicultural internationalism."[8]
Curator and artist Paul O'Neill refers to exhibitions, particularly group exhibitions, simply as "ideological texts."[9] There is nothing wrong with thinking of an exhibition as an art historical, sociocultural, or political essay, in which the artworks function as illustrations of the essay's theme. But then the exhibition is not about the visitor's relationship to the artworks; it is about his or her relationship to the theme and its underlying objectives. At one point in their conversation, Cage and Retallack parse the difference between an "illustration" and an "accompaniment," a distinction that applies equally to the book they were talking about and to an exhibition. "[I]llustration means that the center exists in another place," Cage says. "So an illustration is not at the center, but is about the center. Whereas with accompaniment, each one is at its own center."[10] Is the commentary of the label illustrating the artwork, the ostensible center of the exhibition? Or is the artwork illustrating the commentary, and is the center of the exhibition really the story that the curator seeks to narrate? Which lands us back at the (false) dichotomy of the aesthetic versus the archeological.
Cage allows for one other possibility: the two—artwork and narrative—may accompany one another, each maintaining its own centrality. Many museum experiences may, in fact, unfold this way, if only accidentally. If it is wise for museums to ensure "multiple interpretive voices"—the juxtaposition of narratives so that they undo their own narrative making—what might an exhibition do or be to sustain the aesthetic—the narrative of self—as central, along with the archeological—the narrative of other? Stay tuned.
[1]Joan Retallack, ed. Musicage: Cage Muses on Words Art Music. (Hanover, NH: Wesleyan University Press and University Press of New England, 1996), 130-31. Musicage is a monumental work of reportage, a transcription of ten days of conversation between Cage and Retallack that occurred over two years. It shows both conversants to be effective interpreters of Cage's work and philosophy.
[2]Retallack, 127.
[3]Retallack, 132.
[4]Retallack, 129-130.
[5]Changing Installation at Pittsburgh's Mattress Factory (with works from the Carnegie Museum of Art), and Rolywholyover : A Circus, which traveled from Los Angeles's Museum of Contemporary Art to four other cities [Houston, New York, Philadelphia, and Tokyo].
[6]Jonathan Franzen, "A Rooting Interest," New Yorker, February 13 & 20, 2012, 60.
[7]Laura Hollengreen, "Space, Seam, Scenario: The Many Operations of the Museum Label," Presentation at "'Your Labels Make Me Feel Stupid': Museum Labels as Art-Historical Practice" panel at the College Art Association 100th Annual Conference, Los Angeles, February 22-25, 2012.
[8]8. Simon Sheikh, "Letter to Jane (Investigation of a Function)," in Paul O'Neill and Mick Wilson, eds. Curating and the Educational Turn (London: Open Editions/de Appel, 2010), 65.
[9]Paul O'Neill, "The Curatorial Turn: From Practice to Discourse," in Judith Rugg and Michelle Sedgwick, eds. Issues in Curating Contemporary Art and Performance (Chicago: Intellect Books, 2007), 14.
[10]Retallack, 150.
Rob Marks writes about the nature of the aesthetic experience and the effect of the aesthetic experience on self and society. He received master's degrees in journalism from UC Berkeley and in visual and critical studies from the California College of Art, and is the Publications and Training Manager for the Alliance Health Project of the University of California, San Francisco.


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Since last spring, a local boy scout earned his Eagle Scout status by building very substantial picnic tables for the volunteer RV sites. That's wonderful, except that was before the two new sites were put in just weeks ago.
Happily, for me, the guys started building tables for the two new sites. That's Dub, on the right, and John on the left. Dub is a local officer in the Friends of Balcones Canyonlands NWR group, and puts in close to forty hours a week volunteering on the refuge. He is in charge of all the maintenance volunteers and helps everyone get settled in their sites when they arrive. I should have a nice big table outside my rig by the middle of next week. Wahoo!
This afternoon, we all packed up and headed to Dub's (and his wife Ruth) house for the going away potluck for volunteers Mel and Maryanne. Dub built a house on top of one of the hills about five miles from the refuge. What a scenic location they have, and a drop dead gorgeous house. They have numerous bird feeders hanging in the trees surrounding the house, and a beautiful covered patio with numerous chairs for enjoying the view and the birds.
The Scrub Jay is one of the avian visitors that they have that I don't, so of course I had to get a picture. Since I was the first one to arrive at the party, I plunked myself out on the patio to see what I could see. It was very peaceful looking out over the surrounding hills. I hadn't gotten my camera out yet, when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It disappeared as I tried to get my camera out of the bag.
It wasn't long, though, before the crafty little fox returned, and this time I was ready for him/her.
By this time, the rest of the folks had arrived, and Peggy and Karen joined me out on the patio with their cameras.
The vixen had spotted a piece of bread in the yard and began it's move toward it.
We were privileged to see two foxes before we went inside for dinner. I'm sure glad I brought my camera!
As usual, the food and companionship were outstanding, and we even sang Happy Birthday to Peggy. What a great day today was. But now....
it's time to make an exit............
Thanks for stopping by....talk to you later, Judy

subset: commoncrawl


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Sources of support
It has been very helpful, mainly through talking and chatting. And knowing that there's nurses there and helpers there that are willing to talk and able to talk because they haven't got, on that particular morning or afternoon, they haven't got a ward to see to, a ward of patients. They can devote themselves to answering our questions. And of course it's useful to talk with each other now. You get to know what sort of treatment, what sort of equipment different people are using. Yes, I find that's been very, very useful. I would certainly urge anybody who's new, you know, to go along to a meeting like that.
Obviously there were as well some of the medical professionals, the nursing team, who certainly helped. But I think the most help is from people that know you best probably. So that was for me what worked. I guess it's different, different things for different people.
Their services are given free on the Saturdays. I don't know how it works in the week because they seem to have different groups. I imagine they're paid. But they're very caring, lovely, smiley people.
Are there organisations specifically to help you as a carer that you could get in touch with?
Where have you found most support during this time? Family?
- Age at interview:
- 26
- Sex:
- Female
- Background:
- Jennifer is a secretary. She is single. Nationality/Ethnic background: White British.
Tell me a little bit about where you have found support for all this, over the years.
Daughter' So we manage.
Last reviewed October 2018.
Last updated October 2018.


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During the 2008 presidential race, Sarah Silverman made a YouTube video asking young Jewish Americans to visit their grandparents in Florida, and then use their persuasion skills. It went viral overnight; and Obama captured 51% of the state.
We spoke with Andrew Essex, the CEO of Droga5, the ad agency behind the video.
"Sometime before the primaries began, we were approached by the nascent Obama campaign," says Essex, who's formerly an editor with Details and The New Yorker. "An intermediary had been impressed by a very successful viral project we did for [fashion designer] Marc Ecko."
Droga5 originally pitched Larry David, who passed. "We took it to Sarah," he says. "She ran with it."
Essex reveals the strategy behind the Silverman video and other successful campaigns for Jay-Z and Rihanna, and the secrets behind viral advertising.
Produced By: Kamelia Angelova & Simone Foxman


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Waterfalls at million-dollar mansions are a dime a dozen, but a color-changing rainbow waterfall is adding some extra luxe to a contemporary Miami estate.
Chad Carroll, star of the Bravo TV show Million Dollar Listing Miami, is tackling the sale of a $20 million spec house in Miami that was dreamed up by acclaimed designer Kopi Karp with "every amenity imaginable" including the unique rainbow water feature, a private movie theater, and a steam/ massage room.
Carroll said the property, which went on the market in March, has a 2016 completion date.
Still, the waterfront lot in the exclusive Bay Point community and the impressive renderings are definite show-stoppers.
Carroll predicts the new luxury space will be the "entertaining envy of Miami." Carroll is an agent with Douglas Elliman Real Estate. His team, The Carroll Group, recently won the top award for gross sales income in 2014.


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to the official site of author & Award winning artist
who, me?
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Champions Collection
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Lyn Lifshin poetry
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You Tube
I have videos - 2 Horse Racing Fantasy and 2 introducing my books
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Click on the above books for the preview of the first 15 pages and Blurb shopping cart.
ask me for more details- firstname.lastname@example.com
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horses in Champions- Zenyatta, Affirmed, Alydar, Better Talk Now, Exterminator, Exceller, Ferdinand, Barbaro, Lava Man, Ruffian, Eight Belles, Man O'War, War Admiral, Secretariat, Seattle Slew, Rachel Alexandra, Genuine Risk, Real Quiet, Smarty Jones
see images in Gift Ideas.
available in my store & ebay
(formerly Fantasy Series)
listed under Theme series in online store
I have been entering my work in the
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The Legacy continues...Bernardini, Zenyatta and colt has been included in the 2012 Fall Open Juried Exhibition in KY. This is called one of those grab the brass ring days!!!!!!!!!!!!
OXBOW has been accepted into the AAEA 2013 Fall Open Juried Exhibition- I've been able to have my work accepted 2 years in a row!!!
I started using watercolor pencils- check out my new work in the HorseRacing Classic section!
prints of my watercolors can be purchased here-
I figured out how to make a 12 month calendar contain 13 Triple Crown Champs- you just add more pages!!! There's 14 images and it is a 14 month calendar.
All of my Horse Racing Champions calendars, and books are for sale here- 24/7. A donation is made to a horse rescue group with the sale of each one.
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Double click here to add text.
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My art is also available on Zazzle-
if there's any horse or product you're interested in, let me know through Zazzle or facebook.
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[JURIST] A group of 22 Vietnamese activists were sentenced to lengthy prison terms by the local People's Court in southern central Phu Yen province on Monday after the group was convicted of engaging in subversive activities to overthrow the county's communist government. According to their court-appointed lawyer, the group's 65-year-old leader Phan Van Thu was given a life sentence [Telegraph report] and the other 21 defendants were sentenced to between 10 and 17 years imprisonment with up to five years of house arrest afterward. Thu ran the non-violent group from 2003 until his arrest last February, when the state media reported that Thu had set up two eco-tourism companies as fronts for subversive activities [BBC report] such as producing documents critical of the administration. During the weeklong trial each of the 22 men admitted to acting with an aim to overthrow the government. While the proceedings marked the country's largest subversion trial in years, dozens of Vietnamese have been jailed since the government began cracking down on dissidents in 2009 despite widespread international concern.
In releasing its annual World Report [JURIST report] last week, Human Rights Watch [advocacy website] stated that Vietnam's government has been "systematically suppressing freedom of expression, association, and peaceful assembly, and persecuting those who question government policies, expose official corruption, or call for democratic alternatives to one-party rule" during the last few years of growing domestic dissatisfaction. Also last week Vietnamese authorities released and deported [JURIST report] Vietnamese-American pro-democracy activist Nguyen Quoc Quan after nine months of detention. Quan was arrested [JURIST report] on terrorism charges for planning protests in support of a banned group of US exiles. Last month Vietnam convicted [JURIST report] 14 bloggers associated with Viet Tan of subversion issued prison sentences ranging from 3 to 13 years. In September a court in Vietnam sentenced [JURIST report] a number of bloggers for anti-state propaganda for defaming the government.


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Brand-New Food Court Unit with Road Frontage
City Centre, Auckland City
By Negotiation
- Proposed Usage
- Retail
- Floor Area
- 20.00 m²
- Property ID
- 1c3cy2v
Brand-New Food Court Unit with Road Frontage
This 20sqm food court unit for lease is located on the ground floor of the exciting new Park Residences Apartments. The unique advantage of this food court unit is road facing to Albert Street and is one of two food stores with built-in cooking facilities within the building. Construction is due to complete by scheduled in Nov 2017.
Additional services for Food Court Units:
•Three Phase Power
•Gas Supply
•Hot and Cold Water Supply
The above three are checked meters and costs apportioned by the Body Corporate
•Common Mechanical extract ducting and grease traps-for connection by each food retailer
Food court tenancies within Park Residences would be selected on a complimentary basis to encompass a broad range of ethnic culinary styles - including Chinese, Indian, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Thai, Malaysian, and Middle Eastern. Wireless internet and air conditioning are throughout the area. In addition, the tenant absolute benefits include access to the exclusive Park Residences Pool, Gym, and Sauna.
Please contact Millie Liang the #1 deal maker with confidence in your preferred English, Mandarin or Cantonese language via firstname.lastname@example.com or txt +64 21 968 128 or alternatively Wechat: millieliang168 with your name and email contact in receiving further information. The project currently under construction so strictly no onsite inspection..


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Once an order is submitted for processing, patients must contact the third party collective, cooperative or delivery service, through which the product is provided, directly for any cancellations.
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Certain communications are critical to your account and cannot be disabled. Critical communications include notices about your account, payment authorizations, change in password or Payment Method, confirmation e-mails, and other transaction information.
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All information, materials, functions and other content (including submissions as defined in the "Submissions" section below) provided on this Service, e.g. text, graphics, images, video, audio, logos, computer code, and other content is the property of Is Not Boring, Inc. or the property of our licensors and is protected by U.S. and international copyright laws. The collection, arrangement and assembly of all content on this Service is our exclusive property and is protected by the U.S. and international copyright laws. Except as stated herein or as otherwise provided in an express authorization from us, no material from the Service may be copied, reproduced, republished, uploaded, posted, transmitted or distributed in any way. Any unauthorized use of any material contained in this Service is strictly prohibited and will result in termination of the Service.
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Your Content and Other Submissions
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If you transmit to us, post, or upload Submissions to or through this Service, you grant us and our affiliates a non-exclusive, royalty-free, fully paid up, sub-licensable, transferable, perpetual and irrevocable right to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, distribute, publicly perform, create derivative works, and incorporate such Submissions and the names identified on the Submissions throughout the world in any media for any and all commercial and non-commercial purposes. You waive any rights you may have regarding your Submissions being altered or manipulated in any way that may be objectionable to you. This license will continue even after you stop using the Service. You also hereby grant each user of the Service a non-exclusive license to access your Submissions through the Service and third party social media sites, such as Facebook and Instagram.
By communicating a Submission to us, you present and warrant that the Submission and your communication thereof conform to the "Rules of Conduct" set forth below and all other requirements of these Terms and that you own or have the necessary rights, licenses, consents and permissions, without need for any permission from or payment to any other person or entity, to exploit, and to authorize us to exploit, such Submission in all manners contemplated by these Terms. You agree to pay for all royalties, fees and any other monies owing any person by reason of content you post on or through the Service. You also acknowledge and agree that your Submission is non-confidential and non-proprietary.
You understand and agree that you will not obtain, as a result of your use of the Service, any right, title, or interest in or to such content delivered via the Service or in any intellectual property rights (including, without limitation, any copyrights, patents, trademarks, trade secrets, or other rights) in the content.
Rules of Conduct
By using Is Not Boring, Inc. you agree that you will not use the Service for any purpose that is unlawful or prohibited by these Terms:
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- No Advertising You agree not to submit content that is commercial, business related or advertises or offers to sell any products, services or otherwise (whether or not for profit), or solicits others (including solicitations for contributions or donations).
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We reserve the right to monitor, review, refuse to post, communicate, or remove any Submission from the Service for any reason, including for activity which, in its sole judgment: violates the about Rules of Conduct, these Terms or applicable laws, or regulations. We also retain all rights to remove Submissions at any time for any reason or no reason whatsoever.
The term of this agreement begins when you begin utilizing Is Not Boring, Inc. and continues as long as you use the service. You may terminate this agreement by ceasing use of the service at any time and for any reason, by deactivating your account and removing any applicable portion of the service from your device or website.
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Third Party Interactions
During use of the service, you may enter into correspondence with, purchase goods and/or services from, or participate in promotions of third party service providers, advertisers or sponsors showing their goods and/or services through the Service. Any such activity, and any terms, conditions, warranties or representations associated with such activity, and any terms, conditions, warranties or representations associated with such activity, is soley between you and the applicable third-party. Is Not Boring, Inc. and its licensors shall have no liability, obligation or responsibility for any such correspondence, purchase, transaction or promotion between you and any such third-party. Is Not Boring, Inc. does not endorse any sites on the Internet that are linked through the Service, and in no event shall Is Not Boring, Inc. or its licensors be responsible for any content, products, services or other materials on or available from such sites or third party providers. Is Not Boring, Inc. provides the Service to you pursuant to the Terms. You recognize, however, that certain third-party providers of goods and/or services may require your agreement to additional or different terms and conditions prior to your use of or access to such goods or services, and Is Not Boring, Inc. disclaims any and all responsibility or liability arising from such agreements between you and the third party providers.
Sharing Information with Third Parties
Is Not Boring, Inc. may rely on third party advertising and marketing supplied through the Service and other mechanisms to subsidize the Service. By agreeing to these Terms you agree to receive such advertising and marketing. The Service may compile and release information regarding you and your use of the Service on an anonymous basis as part of a customer profile or similar report or analysis. You agree that it is your responsibility to take reasonable precautions in all actions and interactions with any third party you interact with through the Service.
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The Agreement
- Changes to the agreement
From time to time we may make changes, in our discretion, to the Terms. Any changes that we make to the Terms will be posted on our website. If we, in our sole discretion, deem the changes to the Terms to be significant, we will send the updated terms to the last email address you have provided. If you do not agree to the updated terms, you may cease use of the service at any time. The new Terms will be effective immediately and applied to your continued use of the service. We may also change the service or any features of the service at any time.
- Entire Agreement
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Should any provision of the Terms be deemed invalid or unenforceable for any reason, that specific provision will be eliminated but will not have the effect of invalidating, or making unenforceable the remaining provisions of the Terms. Further that provision shall be enforceable to the extent permitted by law.
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This agreement is subject to the laws of the state of California, without regard to choice of law or conflict of law principles. Further, you and Is Not Boring, Inc. consent to the exclusive personal jurisdiction of the state and federal courts located in San Francisco County, California to resolve any dispute, claim or controversy that arises in connection with this agreement.
Dispute Resolution
For any disputes or claims you have involving Is Not Boring, Inc. you agree to first contact us at firstname.lastname@example.com and attempt to resolve the dispute or claim informally.
If Is Not Boring, Inc. has not been able to resolve the dispute with you informally, we each agree to resolve any claim or controversy (excluding claims for injunctive or equitable relief) arising out of and relating to these Terms by binding arbitration in San Francisco, CA, governed by the laws of the State of California, before a sole arbitrator. The arbitration shall be administered by JAMS pursuant to its Comprehensive Arbitration Rules and Procedures then in effect for JAMS, except as provided herein. We further agree that a judgment of any court having jurisdiction may be entered upon the award. This clause shall not preclude parties from seeking provisional remedies in aid of arbitration from a court located in San Francisco, CA.
The award rendered by the arbitrator shall include costs of arbitration, reasonable attorney's fees and reasonable costs for expert and other witnesses, and any judgement on the award rendered by the arbitrator may be entered in any court of competent jurisdiction.
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Limited Liability
To the extent permitted under applicable laws, Is Not Boring, Inc., or any of it's shareholders, directors, officers, employees or licensors shall not be liable (jointly or severally) to you for a) personal injury, or any indirect incidental, special, consequential or punitive damages, or any loss of profits or revenues, whether incurred directly or indirectly, or any loss of data, use, good-will, or other intangible loss resulting from your access or use of or inability to access or use the service, or b) any conduct or content of any third party collective, cooperative, dispensary or website, including and without limitation, offensive or illegal conduct of a third party collective, cooperative, dispensary or website.
Force Majeure Events
Is Not Boring, Inc. shall not be liable for any failure or delay in performance under these Terms which might be due to strikes, shortages, riots, insurrection, fires, flood, storm, explosions, acts of God, war, governmental action, inability to obtain delivery of parts, supplies or labor, labor conditions, earthquakes, acts of terrorism, or any other cause which is beyond the reasonable control of such party.
Changes to Terms
All terms and conditions subject to change without notice.
If you have any questions about the Terms of Use and Conditions please contact us at email@example.com.


text: You all know I am a HUGE fan of Steven Spielburg and I am sure you all know that I am super excited for this new movie to come to the theaters!!! So I had to share with you the official trailer of the new Steven Spielberg Movie "Lincoln" that comes to theaters in November!!! "Like" LINCOLN on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/LincolnMovie Follow LINCOLN on Twitter: http://twitter.com/lincolnmovie … [Read more...]


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Welcome to Sree Chithra Ayur Home
Sree Chithra Ayur Home, the unique Institution in the field of Ayurveda, is run by two eminent Doctors, holding Post Graduation Degree and hailing from a family with over 400 years of heredity in this Traditional field of Treatment.
Read More About Sree Chithra Ayur Home »
Ayurveda Treatments
Sree Chithra Ayur Home provide unique Ayurveda treatments that enable you to experience the ultimate relaxation.
Our Facilities
Facilities at Sree Chithra includes traditional cottages, hygenic Ayurveda food, sightseeing & Kettuvallom ride.
Ayurveda Videos
Videos and explanations of Ayurveda, herbal system of medicine from India, Panchakarma and detoxification.
Courses at Sree Chithra
Sree Chithra Ayur Home conduct workshops on Ayurveda and Kalaripayattu.
Please visit our beachside health resort, the best Ayurveda Hospital in Kerala
Ayurveda – The Science of Life
More than a mere system of treating illness, Ayurveda is a science of life (Ayur = life, Veda = science or knowledge).
Online Consultation
If you would like to book an appointment or consultation, please fill out the following form.
Photo Gallery
Welcome to our Photo Gallery. Browse to find photos of our activities, staff and events.


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- Home
- About Us
- Care Credit
- Pharmacy
- Forms
- Client Education
- Emergencies
- Charity Events
- Contact us
Feline Vaccines
Core Vaccines (these vaccines can be administered every three years in adult cats with previous vaccination history)
Bordetella bronchispeptica: This bacterial infection causes upper respiratory symptoms in cats. It can infect dogs (kennel cough), cats and rabbits and is highly contagious. This vaccine is not intended for all cats.
Chlamydia felis: Cats infected with this organism will get a runny nose and severe conjunctivitis.
Feline Leukemia Virus- (FeLV) This viral infection of cats leads to immunosuppression and malignant cancer. It is spread through the saliva of cats during grooming and playing. It can be passed from mother to kittens through the placenta. Many cats with Feline Leukemia will appear normal until the cat develops nonspecific symptoms of poor health or cancer. The incidence of Feline Leukemia infection has dramatically dropped due to aggressive testing, client education and vaccination. All cats that are outdoors or in multi-cat households should be tested periodically and vaccinated annually.
Feline Immunodeficiency Virus- (FIV) A cat only virus, it causes devastating immunodeficiency in cats. Outdoor cats are at high risk for this disease. It is spread through saliva and bite or scratch wounds from infected cats. Although an FIV vaccine exists, it is controversial. It will result in an antibody production that will cross-react with tests for the disease. If a vaccinated cat is lost and subsequently tested, it may be euthanized due to a false positive test result. Kittens born to vaccinated cats can test positive for the virus for the first 8 weeks of their lives.
Feline Infectious Peritonitis- (FIP) A serious and often fatal disease that mainly occurs in young cats from a multi-cat household, FIP can spread rapidly before symptoms develop. Symptoms of FIP can include swollen abdomen, difficulty breathing, and neurologic changes. Pure breed cats as well as shelter cats can harbor FIP. Unfortunately there are no good screening tests for this disease. Vaccination is controversial for routine use.
The Distemper vaccine is traditionally a combination vaccine of Feline Viral Rhinotracheitis (H), Feline Calicivirus (C) , Panleukopenia (P), and sometimes Chlamydia.
Recent evidence indicates that adult cats retain immunity for H, C, P for up to three years post-vaccination. To provide flexibility for our vaccination program the Jockey Hollow Veterinary Practice will have the following core vaccines
o HCP
o Rabies
Cat Vaccination Schedule:


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Katie Armour of online lifestyle magazine Matchbook
HOME STYLEMAKER SPOTLIGHT: Katie Armour STYLEMAKER SPOTLIGHT: Katie Armour
Katie Armour's introduction to interior design is envy-inducing: At the age of 15, she traveled to Europe with designer Suzanne Tucker's family - visiting Paris at the start of the antique season and later touring Italy. "From the Vatican in Rome to the Fortuny factory in Venice," Armour recalled, "the art, architecture and fashion I witnessed there left a lasting impression."
In 2006, the San Luis Obispo native landed in San Francisco and accepted a position with Tucker's prestigious firm, Tucker & Marks. Armour later moved to New York City and worked as a designer for Shaun Jackson, but returned to the Bay Area last summer.
Armour chronicles her design-related interests on her popular blog, The Neo-Traditionalist (theneotraditionalist.com). "My taste is fun yet traditional, and I wanted somewhere to celebrate anything and everything that strikes my fancy," she said. "It's unapologetically girly and lighthearted; a little destination for all things neo-traditional."
She recently broadened her online presence: Last Tuesday marked the premiere of Matchbook magazine (matchbookmag.com), a digital publication she founded with graphic designer Jane Lilly Warren. Armour serves as the editorial director, while Warren is the creative director. "Our mission at Matchbook is to spotlight historic and contemporary tastemakers and products that will inspire our readers and speak to our traditional-with-a-twist aesthetic," said Armour. "We will be a true lifestyle publication - showcasing fashion, beauty, culture and travel, in addition to shelter."
The Armour cheat sheet
A good vintage: "I can often be heard gushing about the vintage shops on Etsy. Much of the inventory is ridiculously affordable, and certain shops are well-curated gold mines. My favorites are High Street Market and Estate Eclectic. From a vintage brass rhinoceros to old linen cocktail napkins, it's my favorite place to shop for one-of-a-kind home accessories and hostess gifts." ( www.highstreetmarket.etsy.com, www.estateeclectic.etsy.com)
Recommended reading: "The Windsor Style" by Suzy Menkes highlights the homes of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor. It is now out of-print, but copies are readily available on Amazon. The content is brimming with images of the historic couple's pugs and gorgeous homes - two things I adore."
Art smart: "I am hooked on the website 20x200, thanks to its fantastic selection of affordable art. Their motto, "Art doesn't have to be expensive to be good" rings so true. Their collection is constantly evolving and they sell limited-edition prints for as little as $20. It's impossible not to find something you love." (20x200.com)
Little luxuries: "I'm all about life's simple pleasures. If there's one thing that can instantly give life to an interior, it's fresh flowers. I love that they're affordable and widely available. I often pick up a bouquet or two during my weekly shopping trip to Trader Joe's. They add a bit of color to a bedside table or desk."
In with the old: "We live in a charming neighborhood on the island of Alameda, and the monthly flea market is a local highlight. I wake up at the crack of dawn to scour the 800+ stands for vintage treasures. My favorite find thus far is a stunning set of vintage brass wall hooks with handsome lion heads. They look like they belong in an old English country estate and make me smile every time I hang my coat."


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Sam's Club Holiday Open House FREE Food/Trial
Sam's Club is having an 2 day Open House Event this Thanksgiving weekend. This is your chance to try Sam's Club for FREE and see for yourself what they have to offer. Receive Sam's Members-only prices with no guest upcharge. Dates and times for the Sam's Club Holiday Open House Event are as follows: Saturday,… Read More »


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I have not done a post like this in a while. Focusing just on the fashion I thought I would show you all how I go from a more dressed up look which was my previous post check it out here, to a more casual look. All I did was put on my comfy Woolworths Jersey and White TOPSHOP sneakers and I have a completely different look and feel.
What do you have in your wardrobe that you could double up as a smart and casual outfit? Don't count yourself out. I think that most people can make what they have in their wardrobe work for them. Maybe you need some help? let me know and I can help where I can by doing more fashion related posts on how you can maximize your wardrobe on a budget.


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The hard reality was that her drug use could cost her custody of her child.
Was it worth it?
Hundreds of parents are faced with that question in Westmoreland County and across Pennsylvania, where parental substance abuse accounted for 8,423 valid child abuse allegations — 19 percent of the total, according to a 2015 report from the state Department of Human Services.
More >> Pennsylvania focuses on helping opioid-addicted parents kick habit, keep their children


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Hotels Unlimited is a family owned, New Jersey based hospitality company committed to growth through excellence.
Read more about us at hotelsunlimited.com
Plan With Us
The Hotels Unlimited Wedding Blog
Welcome to our blog! Here at Hotels Unlimited we are committed to keeping you informed with all of our new and exciting opportunities and events that will be occurring at all of our Central NJ locations. Our locations serve the Northern Ocean, Monmouth, and Mercer County communities. In this blog, we will be featuring our promotional discounts as well as the latest event information at our facilities. Our hotels and banquet facilities can host a wide array of events from NJ corporate events, seminars, educational events, fundraisers, galas, sweet 16′s, bat/ bar mitzvah, NJ weddings, and more to suit your needs.
Our banquet facilites include:
East Windsor, NJ– Holiday Inn
Freehold, NJ– Radisson Hotel
- Crystal Ballroom
- Emerald Ballroom
Tinton Falls, NJ– DoubleTree Hotel
- Sterling Ballroom
- Sapphire Ballroom
Eatontown, NJ – Sheraton Hotel
- Grand Ballroom
- Regal Ballroom
Toms River, NJ– Ramada Hotel
Toms River, NJ – Days Hotel
- Atlantis Ballroom
- Coral Ballroom


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Metal, Worn & Old Fashioned
Ed and I helped out at a "North-East Trucking Club" Annual Winter dinner. During the afternoon one of the members brought his 1950 Suburban that he is going to restore. I love the vehicle even though it is all "metal" and a little "worn". I think that the "old fashioned" look of the vehicle is just the best. I took this with my Nikon D50, 18 – 50 mm f2.8 lens, ISO 00 1/100 sec focal length 46 mm. I processed in pseudo HDR in Lightroom. I plan to try other processing so this probably won't be the last of this one!
March 6, 2010 | Categories: January Themes | Tags: metal, old, old fashioned, step's suburban, worn | 4 Comments


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10 Considerations When Picking A Daycare (Part 1)
I have had quite of bit of experience working with children since I graduated college with my BA in Early Childhood Education, almost 10 years ago (OH MY!). During this time I had mostly worked at daycares, with a few years subbing in elementary schools. I have worked at daycares in four states and have seen firsthand what parents should be looking for when making this big decision. Here is a list of what I feel to be 10 of the biggest things that you should be considering when doing your research.
* This is a three part series. These are in no particular order, as they are all important in their own way.
There are two main reasons why it is important. If there are a lot of people coming in and out, there could be something wrong with the daycare that is not visible to a prospective parent. Another reason against change over is the effects it can have on your child. Consistency is very important in young children. It gives them a sense of security when they have to be left with people who are not family members. When new teachers are coming in and out of the room it can create emotional anxiety in children. If a child gets anxiety from going to daycare then they are losing focus on the important things, such as learning, social interactions and exploring. Eliminating this anxiety, with having a consistent teacher, will help the child flourish and give him the opportunity to create a very special bond.
Ask the center if they practice continuity of care. This is when one or more teacher(s) stays with the group while they enter different age brackets. The alternate is the child moves from teacher to teacher as they grow (similar to the elementary school system).
- What are the teachers doing? Hopefully they are interacting with the children! Quite often there will be more than one teacher in the room. Look to see if they are more interested with the conversations between each other or with the children. They should be sitting on the floor, interacting with the children, if not working with them at centers or table work. They should NEVER just be sitting in a chair and watching them. Also, the language they use. You wouldn't think this would be an issue in childcare settings but I have seen it myself. Listen to how they talk with the children. Are they yelling at them, putting them down, swearing at them (yes, this DOES happen), or are they using gentle, encouraging language?
- There are centers that allow, (and sometimes even encourage) the use of televisions. There is simply no need for cable television in daycares. You, as a potential parent, are going to be paying for the center to enrich your child's life, not to sit them in front of the tube. Teachers may use videos (youtube or other educational sites) to show a theme item, but it should be a very small part of the lesson plans.
- Are the rooms clean? I'm not referring to toys on the floor. Look at the walls, tables, floors, sinks, toilets or anything else you feel should be cleaned daily. You might not clean them every day at your home, but at a childcare facility, there are A LOT of germs around and it is imperative that cleanliness is a priority to them. Along these lines, look to see where they keep their cleaning materials. If you don't see them, ask! They need to be in locked cubbies, if not a separate room. Remember, these facilities usually smell of dirty diapers regularly; use your eyes over your nose.
- Does each child get their own cubbies? Each child needs their own space. You will usually have to bring extra clothes, blankets, etc. Sharing space does happen, and the center may get away with it because the children that share come on different days, but it is not ideal.
- Is there artwork displayed on the walls? When a child sees his artwork displayed it gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment (even if they do not know what those words mean yet) As a potential parent, it is a quick way to check to see if activities are done with the group. I will talk more about the TYPE of artwork that is appropriate in Part Two.
There are other things that are instantly visible when looking at the rooms as well such as size of room, age appropriate furniture, appeasing set up of centers etc. A potential parent can learn quite a bit by just standing at a classroom's door for 5-10 minutes.
3. KNOW YOUR STATES RATIOS: Understandably, most people will not know all their state's licensing requirements. A potential parent should definitely look up is ratios before even looking at daycares. How many children are allowed to be with one teacher? You should not only ask the director their policy, but also peek into the rooms to see if they are accurately following this. These ratios are put into place to protect the children. Don't be surprised if they are low either. Currently, in the state of Indiana, an infant room ratio is one teacher to four babies, or 1:4. In a toddler room, once they are ALL walking and up to 2.5yrs old, the ratio is 1:5. When they are ALL age 2.5yrs old, the ratio goes to 1:7. Lastly, preschool (ages 3 and up) is 1:10.
The rest of the 10 Considerations to look for When Picking a Daycare:
Check out #'s 4-6
Check out #'s 7-10


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Subtle Changes Over Time
I decided to combine two of my favourite scrapbook challenge sites. Firstly;
Alexandra Polyzou Γειά σας a DT member over at Scrap Around The World from Greece, has created the softest, pinkest and prettiest mood board I've ever seen!
I always think of my baby photos when I see this pale pink used and I felt a black and white photo would suit this colouring beautifully. Then I realised the layout suggested to use three photos.
Conundrum! Do I use three baby photos? My baby photos are not the best quality, only the studio ones and I don't have much to choose from. Then I had a brain wave.
I remembered I had an old high school photo I'd found while cleaning up some stuff the other day. It was B&W and would match the baby photo well. So all I needed was a NOW photo.
My DT photo for Off the Rails Scrapbook Challenge Blog is also B&W. There you go, the perfect trio!
Looking closely at them, I noticed I haven't really changed much over the years. Just got bigger really. So there was my theme "Subtle changes over time". which also fits perfectly with the Japanese Cherry Blossom and it's subtle changes over the season.
And secondly I was inspired by;
The very talented Zeneva Kovic, Sketch Artist, Team Co-ordinator and blog host over at Kreative Koncepts (formally known as ScrapFriends) once again produced an amazing and challenging sketch.
I flipped it. As I usually do and yes Lizzy, I know. I must start challenging myself to scrap from right to left and not just left to right. lol. Maybe next one hey?
So much background work in this piece. I started with a layer of white gesso then added water colour and allowed it to dry overnight. The next day I wiped off the dry gesso from the centre of the page leaving a distinct "L" shape and a splash of colour in the top right hand corner. I wish I'd taken photos now, it left a really cool effect.
I finished it off by adding some bling, washi, buttons, twine, chippies, doilies, cheese cloth and a few paper flowers. then of course the title. This page took me ages! and I loved every minute of it (well mostly). Can't wait to see what's put up for the new challenges over at Kreative Koncepts and Scrap Around the World in April.


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refrigerator and microwave
19 through Aug. 22 for $500 total, which must be paid in full at the time of reservation. The rooms hold up to five people and include kitchenettes, with a full refrigerator and microwave. Tumblr a distant cousin to WordPress, Blogger and the web presence sites like Yola, Wix, and others are also being acquired and monetizing within their new corporate owners. Others like Posterous are being shutdown. Web hosters should focus on adding ease of use and complimentary products that bring greater value to their paying customers.
led display A led display 16 year oldgirl has surrendered to police in Toronto in connection with the death of an Angus man in Toronto west end. Fifty four year oldDavid Blacquiere was stabbed multiple times near a drug store at Weston Road and Lawrence. He died later at hospital. led display
small led display "St. Patrick's Day is always an exciting time in Massachusetts, and the Holyoke St. Patrick's Parade weekend always brings excitement and pride to the area," commented Jean Graney, president of The Greater Easthampton St. Photography Exhibit: The 75th Anniversary of the signing of Executive Order 9066 The Franklin https://www.cnleddisplays.com/ D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum new photographic exhibition titled of Internment: The Incarceration of Japanese Americans during World War II. The exhibit will be on display in the library William J. small led display
led billboard However, HDMI to mini HDMI with old GTX 550Ti card, and now HDMI to HDMI with new GTX 970 card, there's a HUGE difference visually being able to now run all the TV based option settings with PC games, movies, 2D desktop, etc. Vs. The old bare bones PC options.This is just in case anyone stumbles upon this thread with a similar problem, I've had the blurry PC through HDMI problem for years now, on and off of course. led billboard
4k led display Rosario, who thanked fans on Twitter for voting for him in the all star balloting earlier in the day, had just one home run last April. Carlos Gonzalez, who entered the game in a 4 for 35 slump, recorded hits in his first two at bats a double to right field and a swinging bunt. Arenado got his first hit in the fourth inning on a chopper down the third base line. 4k led display
hd led display Get real time weather information including a 5 day forecast, for your current or any location found via search. Lonely Planet and Michelin offer you dynamic access to the best and most relevant editorial travel content for over 1000 destinations. Find thousands of listings for sights, restaurants, hotels, shops, nightlife, and more. hd led display
led screen When it comes to outdoor lighting options for your home solar powered motion detector lights should be at the top of the list. There are many benefits even compared to other types of outdoor motion detector lights. For one they require no wiring which can be a huge advantage for those with no special knowledge of electricity that would otherwise result in the hiring of an electrician for installation. led screen
Mini Led Display The DMD comes with an easy to use Arduino library. It communicates with the Arduino via high speed SPI. I was able to get the library from the Freetronics Github page, then fire up the demo sketch and get it working within minutes of opening the box. Mini Led Display
outdoor led display After years of work from President Helman, rescheduling because of bad weather, and increasing security because of threats from the community, Martin Luther King, Jr. Gave his final campus address at Manchester on February 1, 1968, almost two months before his assassination. The college brought Republican Presidential candidate Barry Goldwater to campus the week after to appease community members.. outdoor led display
indoor led display Once you've got the LED panels mounted to the back piece of acrylic. Then add the hex stand offs and attach the front panel acrylic pieces. It's up to you what color you go with on the front acrylic panels. The ability to understand and control LED matrices is an important skill for anyone who hopes to be well versed in electronics. The understanding of shift registers and row scanning techniques necessary for such feats will prove useful in countless other fields, and will allow you to do many other things past simple LED matrix manipulation. In need of such skills, I turned to internet searches to find a tutorial on how to do such things indoor led display.


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Saints fans are getting an unpleasant surprise
The Star Tribune's Kevin Duchschere says St. Paul Saints fans are getting a little sticker shock these days as the team rolls out its season ticket prices for the new Lowertown Ballpark set to open in 2015.
Some of the seat prices in the new stadium will more than double, Duchschere says:
Upper-level seats behind home plate will cost 39 percent more, and tickets in the remaining infield section will cost 24 percent more. Season tickets for outfield seating will see a 9 percent hike.
That cuts against the team's much-touted affordability and promises to keep prices down, although an unexpected overrun in the cost of the new stadium has also forced the team to put up more money for the project and agree to a revenue sharing deal with the city, which will own the park and is subsidizing the $63 million project.
The price spike parallels a big hike for Vikings fans: most season ticket holders there will see price hikes for their per-game tickets. But they'll also have to pony up, in most cases, for personal seat licenses that cost as much as $9,500. Four out of five seats in the new Vikings stadium will require the up-front payments, which will average $2,500.


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Cryathlete part 3: You'd better hope I never get good at this stuff.
June 29th, 2014 by Dusty
How good would my tales of exercise be if I was all "well, I busted out a two mile swim in a half hour and then ran like a gazelle for twelve miles and my heart rate never went over 110. Totes Pee Ar. Podiumed. I have a podium in my basement." By the way, actual triathletes are almost annoyingly non-braggy about their accomplishments. If they do admit they made the podium after a race, they say "podiumed" (podium not being a verb in any language, and adding the -ed to the end makes it not a word in any language (and the fact that it is in the dictionary does not make me any less correct about this)).
With no risk of ever having to say I podiumed in any physical activity in which there are more than two contestants, I can jest with impunity. Which brings me to the meat of my story.
I am now in month three or so of training for nothing, and have gotten better. I'm going to type four words and then you can throw away every diet book ever written.
Eat less, move more.
You're welcome.
I'm better than I was, which is sort of like having the biggest penis in China or being the smartest hipster. Who cares? If there is one thing that is relentlessly pounded home, it is humility. I think that's why I can talk to a guy who finished a full Ironman with the third fastest time ever recorded and he doesn't even wear a cape with that fact embroidered on it, as I would. That is probably because he has been humbled much more than I have. This also means I will have lots more stories where I get to laugh at myself. You can laugh at me too. Who cares, as long as everyone is laughing?
I have swum 2100 meters at one time without being shipwrecked, and I have ridden my bike 50 miles at an average of fifteen miles per hour. Two things I did not think I would ever do. Never mind the fact that my wife rode 100 miles at an average of 19.5 miles per hour and swam 3500 meters on the same day. She's a robot or something. It's just layers of humbling, really. For instance, my swim:
I was in Monroe Louisiana and found a gym with a pool about a mile from the hotel. It was 428 degrees Celsius outside, so I ran to the gym because I am an idiot. I decided, "This is going to be my 2000 meter day. I don't care how long it takes or that I forgot my fucking goggles. I'm swimming until I have gone 2000 meters." I borrowed some goggles from the chick at the front desk and got in the pool. I was the only one there for a while, and then a lady came in who was a physical therapist and she had three patients; two elderly ladies and a heavyset 30 something year-old red haired girl with Downs Syndrome. The older ladies bobbed around in the water doing exercises of some sort, I thrashed my way back and forth across the pool, and the redheaded girl put on a swim cap with a shark fin on top and started stretching. I talked to her for a minute because I was about to die and needed a break. Her name is Amanda and she loves to swim. Backstroke is her favorite. She thanked me when I complimented her swim cap, and I got back to the business of controlled drowning.
A few minutes later, just when I was finally getting a rhythm down and breathing more air than water…just beginning to make the mistake of thinking I was okay at this, I saw the shark fin out of the corner of my eye. She was gaining on me, and within a few laps had passed me. Congratulations to the new Mayor of Deflatesville – you just got chicked in a very special way.
But I finished my 2000 and did a couple more laps just because I was there, and then ran back to the hotel, which was an even dumber idea the second time, as it had rained and the humidity was hovering around 6200% and the whole town smelled like Louisiana. If you've been there, you know what I'm talking about.
My next hurdle was a bike ride of significant length back home in Atlanta. I went to the meet up spot with the intention of this being an easy ride for beginners, which it could have been, I guess. It turned out to be a lesson in nutrition learned the hard way.
Most of the folks there just wanted to ride ten or fifteen miles, and some had never ridden a bike. I'm no athlete (have I mentioned that?), but I was planning on riding at least twenty or thirty. Luckily there was a girl there who was not named Lisa, and she wanted to ride 60 miles and try to hold a 15 mph average. Lisa is an athlete. I could tell not only by how she was geared up, but by the way she downplayed her heroic acts of athleticism. I attempted to follow suit. She told me about her last marathon and how she didn't do quite as well as she'd hoped, and "Oh, I'm not a runner, I only held a so and so pace." (you ran 26 fucking miles in a row. You're a runner.), and I countered with "On my last swim I got smoked by a morbidly obese retarded woman."
Top that.
Based on my hours on the compu-shamer in the spin classes, I figured I could hold 15 for an hour or two, so I said, "If it's okay with you, I'll just ride along with you and I'll turn around and come back when I am half as tired as I need to be." So not Lisa and I headed off to the west. I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to ride a real bike when you're not being told to pedal with one leg and stand up, then sprint for five minutes and slow down and take a puke break and do it again.
In a couple of hours we decided to stop and turn around. Along the way we passed and were passed by all manner of exerciser – walkers, joggers, and at one point we zoomed past a fat couple on a bicycle for two. Two thoughts went through my head, and I'm only a little ashamed of one of them. First, I thought "I hope I made that really cool swooshy fast bike sound that fast people on expensive bikes make when they go past you. That is such a cool sound." The second was "Holy shit, those two must be miserable. In what universe is it a good exercise plan for you and your wife to ride the same bike? I can't even believe that was invented. Good luck with that." We had gone just over 25 miles, and I felt pretty good. Then I got off my bike and started to realize the extent to which I may have been screwed. Light headed, legs all stupid and bendy, back starting to tell me to go to hell, hands hurt, and three toes on my right foot were numb. Since I had not prepared at all for a ride of any length, I had two water bottles. One had some kind of electrozymes I stole from my wife, and the other was empty.
Luckily on this particular trail there were lots of places to get water. If not, I guess I would have died and deserved it. Possibly just as luckily, not Lisa was generous enough to split some kind of fibrous sticky snack bar with me. It was kind of like a cliff bar, but looked and tasted less like a turd. "Thunder Jet Hammerbar – now with 13% more wolverine tusk!" whatever it was, it made a difference. This was good and bad – good because I was only partly joking when I said, "Okay, now if you'll go get your car I'll meet you at the intersection we just passed. Take your time. I need a nap." Bad because I knew that if my body responded that quickly and noticeably to that little bit of food, I'd soon run out of gas and probably be eaten by wild animals.
One thing to consider when you go out and back – If you go out a certain distance, it is almost exactly as far to get back. Take some time – I know your mind is blown.
I was doing pretty well most of the way back. My legs were being total dipshits but functioning as well as I expected them to. My lower back was really starting to kill me more than anything. I was still keeping up with not Lisa for the most part, but I was good and ready to get off of my bike, put it in a large trash receptacle, and go home. I knew the last part of this ride was going to suck. Sometimes I wish I wasn't always right about everything all the time.
I stopped every 8-10 miles to lay on the ground and stretch my back, and told not Lisa not to wait for me if she wanted to keep moving. I knew I'd get back to my car eventually. She probably didn't want the guilt of leaving a stranger to die, so she lied and said she needed a break too. I hadn't eaten a meal since the previous afternoon, and it was a stupid healthy meal with chicken and some kind of leaves, so that wasn't helping. It is weird and demoralizing when you feel like you are pushing your legs with about 80% of your strength, but nothing is really happening.
I found a support tent for another group of riders about twelve miles from my finish line, and unashamedly offered them five dollars for a banana. They said they didn't want my money and gave me a banana. I put the money on their table and said, "I'm leaving that there. You can donate it to charity or buy gum with it, but it's yours. Thanks." They gave me a Powerade too. Blue, which not only happened to be in season, but is the most delicious color.
Now my batteries were charged about 20% and we decided to just ride until we were finished. I told her to go on because I knew I wasn't going to keep up. Over the next few miles I watched her disappear over the horizon and I wished her well. About five miles later I panicked when I wondered if I had remembered to zip up the little bag under my seat where my wallet, keys, and phone were. I reached behind me with my right arm to check.
Don't EVER contort yourself in an unusual way when you are dehydrated. Just don't.
My shoulder and back went into a spasm that teleported me through time and space, leaving me somewhere in 12th century Scotland being savagely beaten and chewed upon by three guys and their pet boar. Just as I was getting the best of them, I came back to modern day Atlanta where I was trying to unclip my dumb shoes from my dumber pedals before I went into a thicket of poison ivy. There is a thing called a "flying dismount", and this was technically it, but without much control or intent. When I got my shoulder unstuck, I realized that my wallet was gone and I began a string of swear words that will never be matched. I had to go back. It had been thirty minutes since I bought the world's most expensive banana, and the thought of going back…let's just say I'm glad I didn't have a gun at the time.
I guess anger and panic contain calories because I didn't feel nearly as tired for the few minutes I was back tracking. I can't even legally go to work without my wallet, since it contains all of my licenses and whatnot. I was insanely lucky that I found it about a half mile from where my shoulder went nuts on me. Then I turned back around and started back again, completely without morale. I have heard a theory in physics that as an object approaches the speed of light, it gains mass infinitely. It is this theory to which I attribute my bicycle becoming five, and then ten times its original weight. I actually got off at one point to check my tires – I was sure I had at least two flats. Nope. I began cursing the asshole who moved the parking lot because it definitely wasn't where I left it.
"On your left", I heard from behind me. I was then passed at a decent clip by a fat couple on a bicycle for two.
Sweet baby Jesus in a dri-fit onesie, if that doesn't just make everything perfect.
When I got to the parking lot, not Lisa was there talking to someone about healthy stuff. I asked how far behind I was. "Five minutes", she lied. Some lies are good. I went to my car after unsuccessfully trying to give my bike away and got in. There are levels of fatigue with which I had not yet become acquainted. I actually got scared I was having a stroke or a heart explosion or something. I was in my car and tried to start it with my house key. Then I looked at my keys again, decided on the right key, and again tried to start my car with my house key. I convinced myself four times that my house key should be used to start my car, and I had a moment of "Well, this is where I actually die." I opened my car door and got out hoping someone would notice me when I collapsed and expired. I tried to unlock my phone, but I couldn't make sense of the numbers. Now I was fighting actual panic…I grabbed what was left of my Powerade, forced myself to focus, chugged it down, leaned over to get blood back into my otherwise empty skull, and finally got my car started. With some air blowing, my brain started to cooperate again.
I am not interested in doing that part ever again, so I will be properly hydrated and fed the next time I do something like this.
I called my wife and told her of my small victory and subsequent brush with death, and she said "Wow, that means you're doing it right."


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- Its A-line shape should fit and flatter most body types
- The fabric took 22 minutes to dry
This coat performed okay in water repellency tests — fine for a misty day, but probably not the best choice for a storm. The fabric took a longer time to dry than others (22 minutes). In light brown and sizes 4-16, petite 4-14, and women's 18-24. Cotton/nylon. Machine-wash cold. coldwatercreek.com.
Reviewed: March 2010
Price When Reviewed: $90.00


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Meet The Emoji Movie Team & Celebrate World Emoji Day #TheEmojiMovie #WorldEmojiDay
Join Sony Pictures Animation as they celebrate the 4th annual World Emoji Day on Monday, July 17, by hosting a series of events and appearances to salute the emoji, the fun means of communication that crosses borders and language.
To get ready for World Emoji Day, first meet The Emoji Movie "Team": Hi-5, Jailbreak, and Gene by watching this video clip
As you can see these Emojis are ready for action and to help us express our feeling. Virtually!
Sharing more about this, Tony Leondis, co-writer/director of The Emoji Movie, said,
"Emojis help us express ourselves in ways we don't have time to express, or don't have the forethought to express, or are afraid to express - or don't have the language to express. It's perfectly fitting for everyone around the world to celebrate World Emoji Day, because emojis really do bring us all closer together - in this world of technology, the human heart has found a way to connect."
On World Emoji Day itself, the fun starts early with special Emoji Movie-inspired events:
- The film's voice cast - Maya Rudolph, Patrick Stewart, and Jake T. Austin - take over ABC's "Good Morning America" to celebrate the day.
- Later, Jeremy Burge, the creator of World Emoji Day, will appear on the BUILD Series NYC.
- On Univision, influencer Sascha Barboza will create a party video with her daughter, and Univision talent will share on-air vignettes on their social pages.
- Later in the day, Austin and Leondis will be joined by Burge to ring the closing bell at the New York Stock Exchange, the cast will light the Empire State Building yellow in participation with Oath for Good and Girls Who Code.
- In New York and Beverly Hills Saks Fifth Avenue unveils "Saks Fifth Avenue x The Emoji Movie" collection in the windows of its flagship stores. The product collection, comprised of emoji-inspired fashion and accessories, is led by renowned designer Jason Wu, along with fellow designer brands Mackage, Havaianas, Gents, Del Toro, and Orlebar Brown. The windows feature ready-to-wear, outerwear, and accessories from the collection combined with unique interactive technology created by Mitene & Sony Music Communications that enables consumers to interact with Emoji characters from the film.
Moviegoers can join the fun on their phones, online, by interacting with some of their favorite apps:
- Snapchat will launch The Emoji Movie Snapchat Lens, which will let Snapchatters pose as three of the most popular emojis - Cat with Heart Eyes, Poop, and Gene, the star of the movie, an emoji that can express several emotions. The Lens is set to the tune of Charles Wright's song "Express Yourself."
- The Emoji Movie sticker app, developed by Moji, is launching on World Emoji Day in advance of the full release of the app. The full app will provide a groundbreaking way for users to create their own customized emojis.
- Several of audiences' favorite apps, featured in the movie, will join the celebration on social media. Candy Crush Saga will give fans an exclusive first-look at the in-game challenges inspired by The Emoji Movie that will launch to coincide with the movie's general release. Candy Crush Saga, which features in a standalone scene in the Emoji Movie, will be sharing the exclusive content for a 24-hour period, including a sneak peek from the scene in which our heroes are trapped inside the Candy Crush game board and must play through the levels in order to survive. The content will be available to view on Candy Crush Saga's Facebook, Instagram and Twitter channels throughout the day.
- In addition, Just Dance and Just Dance Now will also launch a custom Emoji Movie Dance Map on World Emoji Day.
As you can see there's going to be lots of ways to celebrate World Emoji Day.
The Emoji Movie unlocks the never-before-seen secret world inside your smartphone. Hidden within the messaging app is Textopolis, a bustling city where all your favorite emojis live, hoping to be selected by the phone's user.
In this world, each emoji has only one facial expression - except for Gene (T.J. Miller), an exuberant emoji who was born without a filter and is bursting with multiple expressions. Determined to become "normal" like the other emojis, Gene enlists the help of his handy best friend Hi-5 (James Corden) and the notorious code breaker emoji Jailbreak (Anna Faris).
Together, they embark on an epic "app-venture" through the apps on the phone, each its own wild and fun world, to find the Code that will fix Gene. But when a greater danger threatens the phone, the fate of all emojis depends on these three unlikely friends who must save their world before it's deleted forever.
Featuring the voices of T.J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Faris, Maya Rudolph, Steven Wright, Jennifer Coolidge, Jake T. Austin, Christina Aguilera, Sofia Vergara and Sir Patrick Stewart.
The film is directed by Tony Leondis, produced by Michelle Raimo Kouyate, and screenplay by Tony Leondis & Eric Siegel and Mike White from a story by Tony Leondis & Eric Siegel. "emoji"™ is a trademark of emoji company GmbH used under license.
To learn more, visit - www.theemoji-movie.com