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Groundhog Day. It's a film that so many people have seen, a popular film that for so long I hadn't seen. I finally watched it a few months ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. Watching films is difficult at times, my attention span isn't very good these days. If you aren't familiar with the film you'll at least be familiar with the concept. Every day being the same as the last. Well, that's very true of my life as it stands, and as it has stood for a very long time now. I've been masking the truth of course.
Things are taking a serious nose dive right now. I've been in limbo for a long time, in a rut. I've danced to the tune of my eating disorder. We'd kinda done a deal, reached an agreement, and I'd stuck to my side of the bargain. I personify my illness, it allows me to cope with it better. A lot of sufferers do, and that's ok. The first time I heard someone actually name it I was horrified and didn't get it, I do now. If you can give it character it gives you something to take aim at, it gives you something to hate. Sadly, it also gives you something to talk to, to reason with, but it also gives it a voice. Sometimes that voice is loud. At the moment it's the loudest voice there is.
Groundhog Day has, at times, been interspersed with nice things. The odd gig here (Paramore, Ricky Ross, Katherine Ryan) and, of course, the football. On those days the deals made are tricky. Ever tougher regimes in order to make up for the fact that I will need strength to get through those occasions. Strength means food. Tougher days follows those. Swings and roundabouts, but I have to have some break from the Groundhog. What I haven't realised, until the past few weeks, is that the eating disorder has slowly been gaining an upper hand. The deal has been getting changed, it's got stricter.
If you follow me on Twitter you see me masking a truth. I probably come across as quite content. You're aware of my issues but I seem positive, at least I think I do. I talk about my baking and the Battling Baker project. I'm always posting things about what I've baked. You might think I am eating that stuff. No. I try bits, but it's never more than a pinch. The truth. That was the aim, but the ED slammed that plan hard. Not that i'll give up. My passion is too great, and one day, maybe, I'll swallow more than a sparrow's beak amount and not walk it off afterwards.
I find it hard to say all this on Twitter, or to anyone in fact. People ask sometimes. "How are you?" I almost dread the question because I WILL tell people if they ask, but when I do I hate that I'm saying it. I hate that I'm writing this now but I need to get it out there. Also, I hate that I have nowhere to turn. That's the thing – I don't have the help, I don't have the therapy and I don't actually have the means to ask anymore.
So how bad is it? Wolves played Birmingham City on 15th April. I ate a meal that day. I've eaten 4 other meals since then. It's 10th May now. Other than that I've had an average of 2 of my own "rescue" biscuits per day to keep myself vertical. Yes, I've lost weight. No numbers – I know it's not good to write that stuff down. What I will say is that the eating disorder tells me that in order to have the next meal I must be X weight, each time the X number must be lower than the time before I ate last. No amount of fighting from me stops the relentless attack mentally if I even try and break it.
I'll tell you one story. It was the last home game of the season. I'd planned this. I wanted fish & chips. MAJOR for someone with my issue. Deal was done. HARD week before, but the figure the eating disorder set was reached. All the way home it tried HARD to talk me out of it, but I'd stuck to my side of the deal. I was doing it, even if I only managed half. By the time I got to the fish & chip shop I was already "talked" into only having small fish & chips rather than standard. OK, I was backtracking but at least I was doing SOMETHING. I was in a cold sweat going into that shop. It was so hard. There was a wait for the fish, they had sold out. Instant panic. Just wait it out, it was ok. 3 minutes passed. 5 minutes passed. My head was SCREAMING. I began to cry. Not just hidden sobs, this was proper crying. In a shop full of people waiting for fish to cook. I kept my head down but people noticed. I wish I'd run out but I didn't. 10 minutes it took. The woman handed it over and apologised for the delay, maybe thinking my distress was over that. I thanked her, said it was ok and ran out of the shop. I'll never go there again. I can never face that ordeal again. I ate half the meal. I'd wanted to enjoy it, it was marred.
Groundhog Day is more frequent now. The football is over until mid August. I have a week holiday at the end of June and that's all there is to break it up. The deal for that is too severe to put down, but I am going to try hard to make that week as good as I can. However, things are SO bad at the moment. One meal a week is making me very ill. I have developed acute tendonitis in my left arm that starts in my shoulder and goes right into my wrist. Physio would help, but without muscle to build up strength won't be very effective. Food will help build muscle. So the cycle continues.
I sit here this morning and I know I haven't hit where ED says I can have a meal. I probably will tomorrow. HOORAY. Mum goes on holiday for two weeks. Two weeks I probably won't see anyone, although I believe someone I have got to know on Twitter is popping in for a coffee on one of the days. The hardest thing in all this is the lack of support from the people who are meant to help. I can't ask for ED services help now because they have said they will only help if I do their day treatment therapy. Well, if you read my previous post on that you will know I am in no place to be able to engage with it. There ARE other alternatives but they will just NOT entertain it. I can't discuss it with my CPN because they don't deal with eating disorders and have no experience. Psychotherapy team won't engage until I'm eating. I can't go private because I can't afford it. I'm trapped.
Sometimes I sit here and I wonder what the escape route is. Do I just exist like this? Is there a way out? Sometimes there's a dark answer and it seems a light one.
When I try and fight, when I look at my life as it was (the good bits) and fight for that, the power of this illness really does show its grip. That's how I know just how ill I am. Yesterday, whilst out walking, I was listening to a song by Anne-Marie. She sang about not caring how she looks, about eating her body weight in chocolate, about loving herself for who she is, about being comfortable in her own skin, about loving herself for her. Suddenly I thought "yes, why am I being trapped like this? Who am I doing this for? Why don't I like myself?" I started to fight a little. SLAM. Suddenly my couple of miles around the block became a lot longer. I was put in my place. I'm so ill.
So, the masking. It really is a mask. This is the truth. I'm REALLY struggling. I hate it. I want a way out and I can't find it.
I'm sorry this isn't more positive. I can't keep masking. This is my hell.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged with: Anorexia, Blog, Eating Disorder, Mental Health, NHS, Simon Rickards, The Battling Baker
On a scale of one to "I'm in the bowels of hell" this really has been one of the worst weeks in a long time. I can tell you, the bowels of hell aren't too pleasant. It's been a mix of a continuation of assessment work at the autism centre, a lot of physical tests at the GP, meetings & reviews with my CPN and, finally, a showdown with the team at Gloucestershire Eating Disorders Service. The outcome of that meeting was, in short, not good. That's an understatement to be honest. I am divorcing them, but only because they have engineered it in the most despicable way imaginable. They would say they are "getting tough with anorexia." I would retort that within this is still a person, still Simon Rickards, still dignity. Why am I divorcing them? And in reality, am I ACTUALLY doing so or are they actually giving me no options at all? In reality, are Gloucestershire Eating Disorders Service washing their hands of me, giving me an option that they know I am in no place to be able to engage with and therefore fully aware that I am going to be off their hands anyway. And if they know this how can they happily allow it? Here's the thing; I actually asked that question. The answer is horrifying.
As my physical health has been deteriorating lately with anorexia's stranglehold taking an even stronger hold, I had begged for further treatment and, with advocacy from my CPN, the ED services had re-engaged with me. I begged them for further inpatient treatment, afraid of my own vulnerability at the mercy of the eating disorder's will and not trusting of my own strength to be able to engage with their day treatment programme, the very one that I had failed at right at the start of my descent into all this when I wasn't as bad as I am this day. There was resistance to my pleas but I felt like maybe I was getting somewhere, particularly given that the physical issues were becoming ever more serious. Yesterday's meeting was with not only my care co-rdinator, but with the decision maker, the man who decides what options to give a patient in the services' care. After keeping me waiting almost an hour past my appointment time and barely apologising for it they began a line of questioning that almost made me feel like they were calling into question my whole diagnosis. I stopped them and asked them if they thought I was making it all up, becoming emotional. They assured me this wasn't the case. They checked my weight. Still very low. They checked my pulse. Still very low. They acknowledged my low body temperature and so on. They could clearly see just what state I was in. But they were being very abrupt, almost to the point of how a boss speaks to an employee that hasn't been doing their job properly. Now, I know that people with eating disorders have to take some responsibility for their recovery, I get that, but at the same time when you are very ill, and have had zero help, support or therapy for over 12 months it's bloody hard! Their approach took none of this into consideration and I felt like my dignity as a human being was being compromised. At this point we hadn't even got to the hammer blow.
They have decided that under no circumstances will they offer inpatient treatment. They also regret ever giving me inpatient treatment in the past, suggesting it did me no good (well, it didn't, but only because it was handled badly) and that it doesn't matter how I am now or will be in the future it won't be happening again. There are a variety of treatment options accessible through them, however I can only access them through one route; by doing their day treatment programme. Now, if you have an eating disorder what I am about to say may be triggering so read on with that warning in mind or close the browser now. Otherwise those without or accepting the warning; I haven't eaten a proper meal since I left the last eating disorders unit in Bristol this time last year. Anything that I've eaten out of the boundary of what my eating disorder dictates…well, I'll just say I deal with it, again as my eating disorder dictates. Rules of day treatment; eat ALL food within 20 minutes. There is NO flexibility. Outside of the programme, at home, you are to follow the agreed meal plan and not engage in any eating disorder behaviours. Ok, all fair enough – people go on that programme to get better and sign up for that. Understand this: I WANT TO GET BETTER. I want to get control. I may never get rid of this completely, but I want control. So take that as read before we go on. Back to my point. I have not eaten properly in over a year. There is no chance in hell that I am going to be able to go from where I am at this moment to eating a full meal (with pudding) in 20 minutes. There is no way that I am going to be able to spend 18 hours a day in my own company outside of day treatment, and weekends, and be able to not engage in behaviours that have dominated my life for approaching two and a half years. It doesn't matter how much I want to be better than I am, I am mentally ill and at this stage, right now, as things stand, day treatment will not be an option I can realistically succeed in. They know this, I know this and I am sure that anyone reading this will understand and will come to know this too.
So I asked them this question: "If I come on day treatment and fail one meal, what will happen?" Their answer: "We will discharge you from the programme and from the service." So I asked them; "What if I don't do the day treatment programme?" Their answer; "We will discharge you from the service." My final question: "So you would knowingly, wilfully and happily discharge someone and give no help to someone with anorexia, who is as ill as I am?" A one word, cold, emotionless response: "Yes." It was at this point where they claimed they were being tough with my eating disorder and not me and didn't offer any support when I was clearly distressed. They told me to think it over and tell them next week. In my emotional state I told them I would if "I was still here." They knew what I meant, read between the lines and you will too. I didn't mean it but I felt it in the heat of that moment. Their response was to quickly usher me out of the room and escort me out of the building as quickly as they could.
I have given them many reasons why I believe things could be different with treatment at this point in my illness. Sure, I am much worse than I have ever been, but I believe that if I can get on the recovery path there are things that I can focus on now as a way forward. I've not had that before. My passion for baking, healing broken relationships, real concrete and good things that weren't a part of life when I tried to engage in treatment in the past. Before I came out of treatment to….nothing. Now it would be different. This situation I'm in now is frightening, because I am going to have to rely solely on myself. I now have nobody to turn to in a professional capacity to help me fight and get control of this illness that has controlled me all this time. I know now that I am stuck with this for life, and I need to find a way to survive it for as long as I can, so that I can live.
I'm not going to do that day treatment programme. I don't want to suffer the indignity of being thrown out of a building in front of 9 other people who are all struggling, I've already had that happen and it's a horrible and embarrassing feeling. Dare I say, it's even more triggering than some of the more obvious things people expect. Also, because of how I've actually been treated on a human level I wouldn't want to be treated by the individuals who operate within that service. They place no value on me as a person, don't allow me any dignity, respect and have never listened to any of my views about my treatment. This ISN'T just about them not giving inpatient treatment when I've asked, there have been many MANY other times when I have been ignored, belittled, talked down and insulted (once they actually had to formally apologise to me) and I actually think they have done and would continue to do more harm than good.
So that's it, this fight will have to start again, only I can only rely on one person. Me. I have absolutely no idea where to begin, how I will make even a baby step forward let alone a normal sized one. At the moment all is as was yesterday, last week, a month ago. At some point I need to find a starting point. One things for sure, it won't begin with that team, ever again.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged with: Anorexia, Brownhills, Eating Disorder, Gloucestershire, Gloucestershire Eating Disorders Service, Mental Health, NHS, Simon Rickards, Trapped
It's World Mental Health Day. I've put a picture of a goat lying down and you're probably wondering what the hell that's got to do with anything. You'd be justified in wondering, I would too. I took this picture whilst on holiday last week in Zakynthos. This was the first proper holiday I have ever been on, the fact I was there was a minor miracle in itself, but as I meandered through the lonely hills of the island, away from the hustle & bustle of the tourist town of Alikanas where I was staying, I came across this goat. He was lying in a barren bit of land, attached to a pretty run down small holding, looking pretty glum in his own world. He wasn't aware of the hardships of the island, the fact that everyone on it works 7 days a week just to make ends meet, that the Greek economy is such that the potential of this island can't truly be met. The financial infrastructure isn't there to back it up. The potential is there to see (there are some absolute beauty spots), but the people are letting it go to rack & ruin and seem to be just ticking over, leaving vast areas spoilt by unsightly rubbish and abandoned building projects. The goat reminded me of my own state of mind. He was locked in his own misery, just there with no apparent purpose (although probably used for milk), whilst the world around him carried on doing what it did, whether that be to tick over or, as we are more fortunate than the Greeks, to progress. I'm digressing at the moment – Asperger's – I'll get where I'm going shortly.
An update on my health. I'm still where I was, although an admission. I've developed bulimia. I use it to keep myself in check when anorexia isn't enough, when I'm not strong enough to restrict. Wow, I can't believe I've just typed such a weak minded thing, but that in itself is an indicator of just how bad I am. So, anorexia, bulimia, borderline personality disorder and Asperger's – it's little wonder that my latest letter from my psychiatrist again uses the word "complex" to describe my case. My weight is low, my strength is rubbish and my mind weak. My mood is stable but best described as "numb" and I've got little appetite for life at the moment. I have no goals to speak of and there are no treatment aims being talked about. The eating disorders team have made no contact since putting me on this "break" and I can't see that changing. Heaven knows what will happen. Maybe the posts will stop one day – and that will be a sign that the whole thing ended badly. So yeah, that's that. Oh – Wolves are doing well though. There has to be ONE positive, and that's one that will always make me smile!!
So, World Mental Health Day. Why do we have to have one day when attention is brought to this issue? Should awareness not be something that should be accepted by now? Is it a case where for one day everyone is made aware that people suffer with mental illness and tomorrow people forget? Does the media forget that for people like me and the millions across the world with a mental illness there are 364 other days where this is STILL part of our lives? And WHY is this still needing to be highlighted in the way it is? Why is there still this stigma? Do we have a World Broken Leg day? Because that's a normal, that's something you can see so therefore it's legitimised. Well let me tell you something. Have a look at me if you ever can. My mental illness has physical repercussions. I'd post a picture of myself in just my underwear if I didn't think it would be triggering to some people just to show that there are physical consequences to some of the mental illnesses I suffer from. Would it get the message across to some of the ignorant then? Of course it would. BUT IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT!
Piers Morgan tweeted this earlier:
"On #WorldMentalHealthDay, a reminder that statistically, this is the safest & healthiest time to ever be alive in recorded history."
The ignorance in that one tweet sent me to boiling point. He's probably right, from a physical perspective. From a mental health perspective he is absolutely wrong. Social pressure, world pressure, means that we are probably living in the WORST time for mental health. People don't realise it, but it's a fact. How do we address it? It's up to people with the most influence to ensure that they are using that influence for good, to be more aware of the impact they have on society and on people. And then we need to look at ourselves and how we are toward each other. We need to look within our schools and how children are toward each other. We need to look at how we conduct ourselves and interact with each other online. We almost need to start a collective think tank and start again, we need to learn how to be kinder to one another and see that these brains of ours are not indestructible. They're fragile, they need looking after. WE need looking after as people. It's not just our bodies that need maintaining, it's our minds too. Piers Morgan's tweet COULD be all encompassing if we learned just to look after each other better.
World Mental Health Day itself needs to be handled better. It's good that people in the public eye are used to highlight the issue, but what about the people that REALLY suffer each day. The Royal family are all over social media today, pop stars, TV & film stars, all talking about the good work that people do or their own experiences…but what about people who live with these chronic conditions day in, day out? Give us a voice, give us air time. Come and see the reality of how this really is. Only then will acceptance of the legitimacy of mental illness come to the fore.
Finally, I saw Jeremy Hunt speaking at a 'Time To Change' event. This man is the Health Minister responsible for the vast cuts in the NHS, not least cuts in Mental Health care. It's insulting that he is even invited to speak at such events, let alone that he even turns up. The government continues to cut funds, yet more and more people suffer, more and more people need treatment and more and more people die. To say it's not good enough is an understatement. It has to change. One more death is a death too many. Jeremy Hunt & the government have so much blood dripping from their hands that I'm surprised they are able to grip a door handle. I couldn't look myself in the mirror each day knowing I was depriving people of the care so many of us need. It has to change…and we must keep pushing them for that change.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged with: Anorexia, Aspergers, Blog, Bulimia, Eating Disorder, Government, Jeremy Hunt, Mental Health, NHS, Piers Morgan, Simon Rickards, World Mental Health Day
Seven years ago today I drove into Gloucester for an appointment with my psychotherapist. The appointment was at 10.40am. By 11am I was outside the psychotherapist's building in the back of an ambulance. I was hooked up to a heart monitor, having injections into my stomach and listening to paramedics tell me that I was having a heart attack. For the next few days I was to battle for my life until I was stable enough to have a life saving procedure to have two stents placed into my heart. I guess today could therefore be classed as an anniversary, the anniversary of the day that I almost died. The day that my body almost gave up on me. The day that over-eating, drinking and smoking took their toll on my heart and it said "enough is enough. I give in." The weird thing is I was at my psychotherapists, it's an oxymoron. Twelve months before that point I'd tried to take my own life because my mind was broken, but I was in a better place at the point where my heart decided to work against me.
Fast forward to today. You would think that I would be looking back and reflecting on the fact I survived. I should be using it to help me change where I'm at now, to drive me onward in my battle with Anorexia, Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety and to help me better manage my Asperger's traits. I'm glad I survived and been able to enjoy the times I have up until two years ago when Anorexia came knocking. However, if I'm being wholly honest, lately I have been spending a lot of time locked into a mind-set of wondering whether I would be better off not being here at all. This might sound dreadfully defeatist, a little self-indulgent in the misery stakes and might provoke annoyance in some people. But when you are faced with this illness, and have been for so long, when you aren't getting the support you so desperately need and you are living the same routine each and every day with no end in sight, you really can't see a way out other than the eternal comfort of the never.
What have I been doing lately? Very little different. I've baked a lot. Most of it has been very driven by the eating disorder. Sometimes the compulsion is so strong that I just make something and then get angry and throw it away. Most of the time I make stuff and Mum takes it away for herself, my step Dad and her friends & neighbour. I get inspired by Bake Off a lot and try and recreate a lot of the things they are making. Don't get me wrong, this isn't all ED inspired, there is a creative element there and a joy. I just can't indulge in any of it, there's no way anorexia will allow it. If only.
I've been to all Wolves home games so far. I leave 5 minutes before the end of each game to avoid any kind of chance of getting crowd panic. It cost me the other day when Danny Batth scored a late equaliser, but that's the price I pay to keep myself feeling safe. It's a struggle at times, especially feeling week and having to amend my ED habits, but I tend to just not eat at all on match days. It's easier to keep the ED voice quiet. At least I get to go!
But that's the thing – dancing with the devil in my head in order to do anything I want to do takes away the full pleasure of doing things. I hate that. Why should I have to compromise everything in order to do anything? This is why I spend 99.9% of my time locked away in my flat watching Netflix and running back and forth to the bathroom. This is why I wonder whether I would just be better of having not survived seven years ago, or not surviving now. I'm going on a week's holiday with mum & my step dad shortly. It'll be nice to get some sun but, of course, the whole thing will be tempered by the ED and a lot of what I wish I could do I won't be able to. When I get back I had been thinking of just giving into everything the ED wants and just allowing it to slowly take me for good. I echoed this to my CPN recently. I have a new referral to a psychologist as a result. Hopefully this will lead to some more meaningful treatment because, again, nothing has been happening. I'm still eating next to nothing, getting lighter, bombing laxatives, walking when I can. Still no ED support, no therapies elsewhere. I had to have a course of injections to right some imbalances in my bloods. Physically I'm a wreck really.
The life I wish I could have isn't there. I can't get it back myself. The professionals don't seem able to help. The system is failing me. This anniversary – I wish I could celebrate it. I survived. I can't celebrate that. What a shitty illness this is. Fuck you anorexia. You are worse than that heart attack. That was fixed by two stents and the skill of a team of doctors. You have far more power and you are looking more likely to kill me. Bastard.
Fingers crossed for that psychologists appointment this week.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged with: Anorexia, Blog, Eating Disorder, Mental Health, NHS, Simon Rickards
For the past week I've felt like I'm permanently staring down the barrel of a gun or completely trapped. It's a horrible feeling, a feeling created by the worst of circumstances at a time when I probably need help the most. Those who are in touch with me on social media might be forgiven for thinking that I've been making an effort to do a bit more of the things I've been trapped from doing. My last blog entry indeed suggests this, but actually things are going badly. Very badly.
I had an appointment with my psychiatrist just over a week ago. He is part of the recovery team, helping me more with day to day integration, coping with my anxiety issues and Asperger's. During that appointment he posed certain questions that unnerved me, centred around the possibility that I could be discharged from the care of the eating disorders service. I was stunned at the mere suggestion. Lately the anorexia side of things have taken quite a kicking and, with necessary sensitivity, it's obvious that behaviours are out of control and physical repercussions coming to the fore. The justification for the suggestion was due to the lack of progress or engagement in any meaningful treatment since discharge from my last inpatient admission in February. As I pointed out this had been due to my moving and the eating disorders service wanting to ensure my work with the recovery team being established so that cross agency involvement could be created to devise a way forward. I hoped that he was simply "shooting fish in a barrel" and that I could query this with my care co-ordinator at the ED service at my appointment last Friday, but I didn't like the fact he even brought it up. Anyone who has experience with eating disorders know that this kind of thing can be a trigger, and that's the last thing I need when things are as bad as they are at the moment.
My appointment at the eating disorders clinic didn't go as my care co-ordinator was obviously planning. I don't think she had any intent of discussing any of this with me, indeed that was what she intimated as soon as I queried what had been mentioned in my appointment with the psychiatrist. She confirmed everything he had said and then detailed my options. I was horrified. They are indeed looking to give me a 'therapeutic break' from treatment (temporary discharge, let's not dress this up) unless I took the only option open to me. This option, in reality, isn't one…not for where I'm at.
Gloucestershire Eating Disorders Service is one of only a few in the country that offers a day treatment programme. Just after my diagnosis of anorexia I was referred onto this programme but was discharged from it after just one week. The programme is meant to last eight weeks. They have very strict guidelines, one of which is that all meals are completed within a set amount of time. These rules are there to ensure that you are committed to the programme, your recovery, and to protect the recovery of the other patients. I understand the rules, I accept them but at the same time I understand that if you can't stick to them you can't stay. I also acknowledge that if you can't adhere to them that you aren't well enough for the programme, and that your illness is more severe than that programme can accommodate. If that's the case then other treatment MUST be instigated, simply leaving someone to fend for themselves should NEVER be the way.
My care co-ordinator says this is the only option open to me at this time. If the programme wasn't right for me at the start of my diagnosis there is NO way it is right for me now, not when my illness is so much more progressed, my behaviours are far worse, my weight so much lower and my food fears so much more profound. I know exactly what is expected of me there and should I accept a place I am certain that I would be discharged very early on. The net result of that would be damaging in the extreme and that's something I am simply not prepared to face. Things are bad enough as they are, why would I do it? This, to anyone reading who has no experience or understanding of eating disorders, must seem ridiculously defeatist. I am being nothing more than brutally honest with myself and what I know of where I am. With all the will in the world and desire to gain control over this BASTARD of an illness it has me on the ropes. Even if, hypothetically, I went and did the programme I would still spend 20 hours a day at home. That's a lot of time at the mercy of all that goes on in my head, not being supervised through meal times, not being stopped from carrying through on behaviours that might undo anything I might do in day treatment. It's all that happened before.
Our conversation then progressed and she posed the question of in-patient treatment again. I had been thinking about this as an offshoot of my psychiatrist appointment. He had asked me if I thought I would benefit and although I'd been resistant to this point I have become so desperate to regain some life back and some control that I realised that this might actually be the best way forward. I began to get tearful for the first time in a long time and nodded in agreement. I wish she hadn't asked the question. It would seem that the NHS Commissioners will not sanction inpatient treatment for me again, especially in view of day care treatment being an option. Given the reasons I have gone over above this leaves me in the wilderness. Day care treatment would be, I believe, catastrophic and inpatient treatment isn't allowed. I don't blame the NHS for this, nor my care team really – this sounds like a funding issue and isn't the first time I've been in this position. You have to admire our government don't you? Oh no, you don't!!!
So here I am. The wilderness. The eating disorders service haven't formally put me on a 'therapeutic break' yet, they want to have a meeting with me and the recovery team, alongside my GP, and then they will. It's here that I have to tell them my decision in regard to day treatment, but, in truth, I see no real prospect of me engaging with that for all the reasons I've said. Meanwhile I am physically getting worse as the anorexia has a field day with my vulnerable state. Even at that appointment with my ED care co-ordinator my weight had dropped and has continued to do so, not because I'm proving any point, but because I am that ill. And the worst thing? I'm still not 100% sure these professionals completely listen to me. Yes, I've always had mental health issues. Yes, I've always had food issues but just today I had a letter from my psychiatrist following up on our meeting suggesting that maybe all of this might just link back to my being on the autistic spectrum. It's at times like this I am really at my most vulnerable, when I can't see any way out. My sole issue right now, or rather my primary issue, is that of my eating disorder. I need help with that and that alone. If I can't get it I have no future, it's as black & white as that. Yet here I am facing the prospect of losing the support of both the ED and recovery teams.
I'm trapped. I feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a gun. I'm looking for a future that doesn't seem to exist and all the while this pig of an illness is mocking me, making me scared and won't let go.
Posted in Uncategorized Tagged with: Anorexia, Aspergers, Blog, Eating Disorder, Funding, Mental Health, NHS, Simon Rickards, Trapped


text:
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Quantity of Units/Case: 1
Minimum Quantity of Cases to Order: 1
Less is more with this 3 light bath light from the Durham Collection. Its understated shapes and soft, clean lines create a relaxing, calming environment. With a metallic Antique Pewter Finish and simple Satin-Etched Glass, you can be assured of a streamlined, timeless design that makes an impressive statement without being pretentious. Width: 23.5 in., Height: 10.5 in., Extension: 9.5 in., Height from center of Wall opening: 4.5 in. Uses three 100W max.. bulbs or 18-25W CFL. May be hung with the glass up or down. Rated for damp locations.
Bulb: (3) 100W A19
Color: Antique Pewter
Extension: 6.75 in.
Height: 10.125 in.
Industry Standards: UL, CSA
Material: Steel
Shade: Umber Etch Glass
Watts: 100
Width: 23.125 in.

subset: commoncrawl


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I've been contemplating on what I want to build in TT scale starting this year. My plan for TT scale is four individual "portable" layouts connected with some "just track" sections to make it either point to point or curved sections to make it a continues run. I have a good idea about three, the coal mine, the logging, the logging engine facility. The fourth would be a possible saw mill and coal processing pant. That one still needs some thought.
I'm going to use a new term "TOMA", "The One Module Approach". This concept was introduced by Joe Fugate of MRH. Here is a link to that issue if you are interested in the concept. http://model-railroad-hobbyist.com/magazine/mrh-2015-10-oct/publishers-musings
So, the Gum Stump & Snowshoe layout plan is still going to be used but won't be my first module. Here's a picture of the first module, The Logging Engine Facility.
I always liked this plan ever since I had the magazine, 54 years. Of course I got the magazine years after that date since I didn't start my subscription till the 70's.
Here's one just of the track plan.
It's nice and flat, something I can learn to build turnouts on and lay track. All will be Code55 rail hand laid. Now all I need is to get started on the frame work.


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LONDON (MarketWatch) -- Bed Bath & Beyond BBBY, -3.13% was downgraded to neutral from buy after the company announced its first earnings per share shortfall since going public. "While Bed Bath and Beyond has historically been able to buck the trend, the convergence of a tough housing sector, aggressive competition, and rising oil prices has proven tough to overcome," the broker said.
Bed Bath & Beyond cut to neutral by Goldman on warning
Quote References
-0.49 -3.13%


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Graphic Design
Our graphic design service will help your organization share your message effectively. Graphic design is using graphics elements and text to communicate an idea. It delivers a message in a more effective way than text alone. Graphic design can be simple enhancements that make a document more interesting to look at – and easier to keep reading – or it can be a complex illustration that makes a poster vibrant, catching eyes from across the room.
The products that we design are carefully constructed to develop your brand,
capture attention, and help bring viewers to the point of your message.
Brand Identity is strengthened by cohesive design. At-a-glance recognition is achieved when your website, letterhead, business cards, and other public materials have complimentary graphic elements.
Trust between you and your clients builds more quickly when you look authoritative. Whether you are a mechanic or doctor – having comprehensive design for your professional materials lets everyone know you that mean business.
Memorable brands have the right mix of purpose and presentation. We can help you find perfect alignment with your organizational goals and the way you bring your message to the world.
How We Work
After the interview, we will develop a scope of work based on the product, the aesthetic you desire, and additional services – like photography, printing, or content composition – that you may benefit from. We will put all of your needs into a line-item Scope of Work so that you can choose what to purchase.
What clients say
Ryan Koziatek Reviews JRyven Web Design
There hasn't been a moment that JRyven Web Design hasn't been able to respond to requests or website issues. Because of JRyven Web Design, our website is up-to-date and easy to manage.
Tania Jarosewich reviews JRyven Web Design
With James' help, creating and maintaining a website is completely painless. The process that James used to learn about our work and brainstorm initial website ideas was focused and led to a good rough draft for the site. He was thoughtful in his suggestions about tools and design, and open to our feedback and requests.… Read more "Tania Jarosewich reviews JRyven Web Design"
James is great to work with!
I had no clue as to what I needed nor wanted for my website, but he walked me through the steps, and we came to a design that my board members are impressed with and I can work with easily. I also appreciate the fact that he directs me to tutorials and offers assistance when… Read more "James is great to work with!"
Kristina Ledlow Reviews JRyven Web Design
James Valeii was wonderful to work with on my website. I had never done anything like this before and did not know where to start. I told James things I liked and did not like, colors, pictures, etc… He put together something beautiful! It was like he read my mind only it turned out better!… Read more "Kristina Ledlow Reviews JRyven Web Design"
Human Rights In Childbirth Reviews JRyven Web Design
We have really enjoyed working with JRyven Web Design. They provide exceptional service, communicate clearly and, in a timely manner, and they birthed a beautiful website for our organization. We absolutely recommend their work.
Paul Clements reviews JRyven Web Design
James Valeii, of JRyven Web Design, developed the initial website for my campaign for the Congressional seat for Michigan's sixth district. It was a pleasure to work with James Valeii, and he did an excellent job taking my ideas and concepts and turning them into digital reality. He has a rare combination: a keen aesthetic sensibility,… Read more "Paul Clements reviews JRyven Web Design"
Steve Walsh Reviews JRyven Web Design
James Valeii did an amazing job at converting our existing webpage into our new WordPress based page. Our existing CMS was inadequate for the changing needs of our organization and the move to WordPress was seamless. Additionally, the new format and content was far more vibrant and engaging for our client base. The ongoing support… Read more "Steve Walsh Reviews JRyven Web Design"
Paul Sotherland of Kalamazoo Bicycle Club
Folks at Boiling Pot Media, particularly James, have done an outstanding job of helping create and revise the new website for the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club. Most excellent…attentive, timely, and top-shelf quality are phrases that come to mind when thinking about our interactions with Boiling Pot Media.
Allysa Crittenden of Community Health Center
I highly recommend James. Friendly, quick, responsive, and very knowledgeable! He knows what he's doing, and gets it done in a timely manner. Great resource in the community!
More than a just a website
When I started my own company, there were so many things I needed to do to set up in order to compete in the marketplace. It was a bit overwhelming. James was able to break down the process for me into manageable steps and guide me through each of them. I also needed my new… Read more "More than a just a website"
Matt Lager Reviews JRyven Web Design
JRyven Web Design helped us revise and update our website. The work turned out great. James Valeii is a creative listener and truly responsive to client needs. I can't speak to anything technical about the web stuff that was done, I can simply say they made it look and work the way we wanted.
James is on top of things!
James is a website superhero. He knows wordpress, knows how to make things look pretty, and understand how to make it all come together. He also understands organizations and people. James understands what we need to create a professional and powerful image. He has been collaborative and responsive. We are very happy to have him… Read more "James is on top of things!"
Roxy Toporowych reviews JRyven Web Design
My cousin recommended James to me after working with him on her website, which I thought looked great. His patience and creative ideas blew my mind. We started with a detailed questionnaire, which I found to be really helpful. Not only for him to figure out what I envisioned but it helped me streamline and… Read more "Roxy Toporowych reviews JRyven Web Design"
Committed, Quality Support
I want a smooth running site without having to struggle through learning how to make that happen myself, and that's exactly what I've gotten with JRyven Web Design. I can rest assured that all of my hosting and WordPress maintenance needs are covered. I have built my WordPress site as a total novice and I… Read more "Committed, Quality Support"
The Team
James is the administrative contact for the department and heads up project evaluation. He has a BSc in Geography and English; Rhetoric and Writing for Print and Digital Publication. James has been providing advanced web services since 2010.
Simon does Graphic Design. He has worked with Boiling Pot Media since 2015. Simon brings an intelligent aesthetic approach to our products, and has a tuned sense for designing materials that meet the goals of the client and their audience. Simon graduated from the University of Michigan with a BFA in 2011.
This is a partial list of products that use Graphic Design that we can produce.


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Dear job seekers, RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019 Notification now released online please check the further requirement and apply until the last date. The Highest authority in the Indian Banking Sector has come up with a recent announcement to hold a nationwide recruitment for the aspirants, who seek a promising career in the ruling departments. As per the latest hearing, the RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019 Notification Pdf Vacancy Apply Online released for the candidates. Read more details for a further go through of the updates.
RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019
The Reserve Bank of India is the main organization to conduct a nationwide recruitment drive this time. There are going to be vacant positions for the roles of Clerical cadre, Assistant Managers, Officers Grade 'B', BMC and others. There will be several opportunities for applicants this year, and while they read through this web page, they can find more on How to fill the Application Form without an obstacle.
Download RBI Grade B Officer Phase I Admit Card | RBI Assistant Recruitment
RBI Grade B Officer Notification 2019 Pdf
The latest updates suggest that RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019 Notification now out as an Advt No. 6A/2019 and candidates can start applying against the same recruitment from 3rd July to 23rd July. Like there was an announcement for various vacant positions released by the Reserve Bank of India thereafter, a bulk of job opportunities will be handed over to the candidates through RBI Grade B Officer Vacancy 2019 this forthcoming year. It is to be especially noted by all the participating ones, that Application Forms will only be filled via the online mode.
Also Check, RBI Scholarship | RBI Grade B Result
- Announcement Regarding: RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019
- Organizing Authority: Reserve Bank of India
- Name of Position: Officer Grade 'B'
- Vacancies in Number: varied
- Job Location: India
- Application Deadline: lots of posts
RBI Grade B Officer Vacancy 2019
Total Vacancy: Officers (Grade B) – varied positions
|Name of Vacancies
|No, of Positions
|Officers in Grade 'B' (DR) – (General)
|Officers in Grade 'B' (DR) – DEPR
|Officers in Grade 'B' (DR) – DSIM
|Total Vacancies
There are some basic guidelines and eligibility criteria that all the applicants are advised to follow before they go for an application.
The basic and foremost condition to fulfill for an applicant is to suffice that S/he must be a resident of India/ a subject of Nepal or Bhutan and Persons of Indian Origin (PIO).
Career Opportunities After 12th in India
Education Required:
- All the aspired applicants must have completed a Bachelor's degree as the minimum 60% marks (50% in case of SC/ST/PWD) required educational qualification from a recognized university/Institution.
- Computer literacy is also essential for the job role.
Age Limit:
Following the application guidelines and policies, the minimum age of application is 21 years whereas, the upper age limit is 30 years. Relaxation upto +3 yrs for OBC,+5 yrs for SC/ST, +10yrs for PWD
Application Charges:
For SC/ST/PWD applicants, it is Rs.100/- and for the candidates belonging to the General and OBC categories, it is Rs. 850/-.
Mode of Payment: Online banking/ Credit/Debit Card.
RBI Officer Grade B 2019 Selection Procedure
The contestants will be screened through the two-phase online exam the first stage of which will be an objective type and the second one will be both objective and descriptive.
The final merit will be considered taking candidates' overall performance in the preliminary, main, and the Interview exams.
Salary Structure:
The basic salary ground is set to be Rs. 35,150/- p.m. in the scale of Rs. 35150-1750(9)-50900-EB-1750(2)-54400-2000(4)-62400
Note: For more information, get the notification link.
RBI Officer Grade B 2019 Exam Pattern & Syllabus (Phase-1):
- The written exam is objective type and will be conducted online.
- The exam question paper will have 4 sections namely (1) General Awareness, (2) English Language, (3) Quantitative Aptitude and (4) Reasoning.
- Time duration of this exam is 2 hours.
- Total 200 questions for 200 marks.
- Negative marking is applicable i.e. 0.25 marks for each wrong answer.
RBI Officer Grade B Exam Pattern (Phase-2):
- This test is both objective & descriptive type and will be conducted via online mode.
- In phase 2 exam there are 3 Papers (Paper-1, Paper -2, and Paper-3) for 300 marks.
- Paper-1 is a descriptive type and both Paper-2, 3 are objective type.
- Paper 1 is English Language, Paper 2 is Economic & Social Issues and Paper 3 is Finance & Management.
- A Time duration of Phase II Exam will be 270 minutes (90 minutes for each paper).
- No negative Marking
All such candidates who qualify the phase-2 process will be called for the interview round which is 50 marks.
RBI Grade B Officer Recruitment 2019 Apply Online
- Make a visit to the official web portal which is, "www.rbi.org.in".
- Look for the career sections from the homepage.
- Follow it and start filling your online application form completing both the phases of online registration.
- Upload the required images of your recent passport-sized photograph and signature.
- Pay the required fee amount via any of the aforementioned payment modes.
- After filling the details, take a hard copy of this duly filled form.
RBI Officer Grade B 2019 Important Dates
|Commencement of Online Application Form
|Closing Date to fill Online Application Form
|Admit Card for Written Exam Phase -1 releasing Date
|Date of Written Exam Phase-1
|Declaration of Result for Phase-1
|Release of Admit Card for Phase-2
|Date of Written Exam Phase-2
|Declaration of Result for Phase-2
|Conduct of Interview
|RBI Officer Final Result
Noteworthy Link:
Follow this link to get the RBI Grade B Notification and online application
General Post – Registration Form I Login Here to Apply
DEPR/DSIM Post – Registration Form I Login Here to Apply
Hello, Guys I am Shivam Singh an Experienced Seo Optimizer and Career Consultant. Apart from that, I am a YouTuber and Blogger. I love writing on the different topics and my hobbies are listening music and playing Cricket along with reading Novels.


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Suicide musician 'could not cope' with the world
PUBLISHED: 18:00 15 December 2012
A musician who stabbed himself 20 times in a 'ritualistic-style' suicide was a 'reclusive young man absorbed in spiritual matters' but could not have been a 'better son'.
Former Walliscote and Wyvern school pupil Nathan Wills was found dead by his parents in his Sandford Road home in Weston earlier this year.
An inquest into his death last week heard how the 30-year-old had no drugs or alcohol in his body at the time of his death and his behaviour had been 'unusual' leading up to when his body was found.
Earlier this year his father Nick told the Mercury how his son had killed himself in a 'ritualistic-style' suicide.
The inquest heard how the hugely-popular young music producer, who police said was reclusive and absorbed in spiritual matters, had stabbed himself 20 times in the chest when he was found.
A statement from his father read aloud at the inquest at North Somerset Coroners Court in Flax Bourton said about the weeks before his son's death: "It was like his light side and dark side were separating.
"I called Nathan on July 27 and it was like he was losing his mind to a degree.
"The following morning my wife and I went to his home and found him in the kitchen/dining area, naked and clearly dead.
"Nathan took his own life. I believe he could not cope with this world any more. I appreciate the life we did have together and I could not have asked for a better son."
A keen video blogger, the musician had fans worldwide, including YouTube sensation Cory Williams, whom he visited in the United States and who created a video tribute to his friend following his death.
He wrote about five albums of original music, the last of which he put online a week before his death.
Assistant deputy coroner Dr Peter Harrowing recorded a verdict that Nathan took his own life.


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India's Most Valuable Brands – TTK Prestige
TTK Prestige brand has evolved into the most loved and popular kitchen products brand across India. Founded in 1955 as part of the TTK Group, TTK Prestige Limited has today, grown to become a 'total kitchen solutions' provider.
Every Prestige product is built on the pillars of safety, innovation, durability and trust, making the brand the first choice of millions of customers in India and beyond.
TTK Prestige Limited has come a long way. Today, it has the widest product portfolio covering all aspects of the kitchen, making it the only brand to offer 'total kitchen solutions' to the customer.
By understanding the needs and requirements of customers, Prestige designed and delivered relevant and innovative products. The brand has been responsible for changing the cooking habits of millions in India. It has demonstrated how one could cook healthy meals in minutes. The product range includes pressure cookers, nonstick cookware, rice cookers, OTGs, kitchen hoods (chimneys), hobs, LP gas stoves, coffee makers, kettles, sandwich toasters and many other small electrical appliances. The brand also backs its customers with Service Excellence Award winning after sales service, garnering long term trust in the market.
TTK Prestige Limited is the first kitchenware company in India to receive the ISO 9001 certification and the PED/CE certification by TUV, Germany. The brand is India's largest kitchen appliances company catering to the needs of homemakers across the country.
Prestige has expanded from a traditional pressure cooker brand to the complete kitchen solution provider and is working to improve and change the lifestyle of every Indian household. The company presently has manufacturing facilities in Hosur, Coimbatore, Karjan, Khardi and Roorkee and distributes from more than 26 sales branches located across the country to cater to the needs of all markets.
Prestige has introduced several innovations, transforming the kitchen space in India. Many of these innovations such as – Convertible Gas stove, Multi utility Pressure Cooker, Five Layer Granite Cookware and Automatic Whistle counter induction cooktop were brought to the country for the first time. The Prestige products, by now, have covered all the requirements of the modern Indian kitchen. Prestige products are widely appreciated as it expanded into the retail network to connect with the customers in a direct interface.
The Prestige Smart- Kitchen stores have made waves across the Indian subcontinent.
1. India's largest retail outlet network in Kitchen appliances category
2. Over 85 Innovative Products introduced every year, keeping pace with the changing consumer behaviour


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NU-VUE Window Films offers only the best window films for the job, meaning that with all the films on the market today, we will only install the best quality films that are available in the industry. Our window tinting services include residential, retail store, and commercial tinting, film removal, solar control films, UV film, safety and security film, privacy film, graffiti film, and decorative film.
With over 30 years experience in the industry, NU-VUE Window Films uses only the highest quality films as installed by our experienced film specialists. All of our films come with the best warranties available. We will never use inexpensive films to shortcut our customers or compromise our quality and reputation.
Phone: 760-670-3676
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
Website: www.NuVueWindowFilms.com
Consider Window Films–Enjoy That Incredible View Without the Harmful Consequences
The sunlight may bring warmth and brightness into our days, but it can also cause extreme glare that makes us close our draperies or blinds, cutting off our beautiful views. It can also increase our utility bills trying to keep our homes comfortable. That warm sun is full of UV rays that make your most valued home furnishings, woodwork, shutters, and draperies fade and look dull over time. UV rays also break down materials causing unsightly holes and discolorations. Just because those warm summer months are behind us does not mean your home is safe. The fall and winter sun can cause the rays to enter your windows at a completely different angle, actually reaching further into your home causing more UV damage no matter what the temperature outside.
There is a solution! Installing high quality window films throughout your home provides solutions for problems such as faded furnishings, glare, privacy, room discomfort and high-energy costs.
The 3M™ Prestige window film series offers homeowners a clear, non-metallic product which blocks 99.9% of the sun's harmful UV rays, not only protecting your furniture, flooring, and fabrics, but also your skin from exposure. If the upcoming holidays have you upgrading your flooring or furniture for entertaining—you want to make sure your investments are protected from the start.
Prestige films also block radiant heat, reducing up to 66% of the heat coming in through your windows. The results are immediate and your energy costs will decrease tremendously as the load on your air conditioning is reduced. Window film is one of the most long-term and cost-effective solutions to reducing energy costs. For those rare cold San Diego days, adding film to your windows reduces heat loss through your windows retaining your heat inside as well.
If you love your nighttime view, the Night Vision series is worth considering. Offering low reflectivity, even lower than glass, you can enjoy the sparkling lights of the city or beautiful outdoor landscaping at night. These darker films are designed to reject solar heat, up to 71%, while providing significant glare relief.
Quality films are available in a wide range of tones and shades from virtually clear to darker. If glare is an issue, window films will cut that blinding sun and will reduce glare for your computer and television viewing. This enables you to keep your blinds open, enjoying your view. Films can also make it more difficult for the outside world to have visual access into your home, increasing your privacy and protection from criminals.
Finally, decorative film is a wonderful way to give your windows a makeover. With thousands of patterns and designs to choose from, decorative window films offer an element of privacy to pantries, bathrooms, shower doors and entry door glass without restricting the light. These films can be custom designed and cut to add uniqueness and creativity to your glass. With endless possibilities, it's no wonder this trend in window treatments continues to grow at a rapid rate.
The professionals at NU-VUE Window Films have been improving San Diego's windows for almost 30 years. Their services include everything from residential, retail store, and commercial window tinting. They also offer film removal services and free in home consultations. For more information, you can call them at 760-670-3676 or visit www.nuvuewindowfilms.com.


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Tuesday's game against Florentina Turner got off to an inauspicious start when the reporter (yours truly) received an (admittedly accidental) whack on the head from a stray ball booted by Dan Abbott before kick-off. I've always thought I wouldn't want to get in the way of one of Abbott's shots, and had my suspicions confirmed – Ow!
Still, Elite started well, Dave Madeley forced a save after just 11 seconds before Sean Payne went one better and found the net after just 54 seconds.
Abbott redeemed himself (a bit) sticking his foot out to deny FT in the Elite goal, but the FT player we dubbed 'Mr Yellow' redoubled his efforts and was rewarded with an equaliser on two minutes.
At the other end, a long range strike from Madeley tested the FT keeper and Luke Kelly popped up to regain the lead for Elite with a stylish shot on three minutes. Sean Payne forced another save from the FT goalkeeper seconds mere moments later, but FT's 'Mr Black' drew his side level again on four minutes.
Yellow and black were running the show for FT like a couple of quick-footed pretty-haired generals, and when Mr Yellow missed shortly after, it was a let off for Elite.
The relief didn't last long however and Yellow scored two, completing his hat-trick either side of Madeley scoring again to take Elite's tally to three.
Now with an advantage FT wasted no time and Mr Black made it five for the opposition after some confusion in the box caused Paul Brunton to gift him the opportunity!
Yellow's next shot ricocheted harmlessly off both posts, and Brunton turned the tables, finding the net with aplomb after a neat assist from Alex Gilfoyle.
Unfortunately more dodgy Elite defending let in another Mr Yellow goal and when Shakes (traitor) decided to score for FT on 9 minutes, the gap began to widen.
Mr Black made it 8 on the 10 minute mark and Elite struggled to regain a foothold in the game – Gilfoyle went wide, Kelly saw his shot saved and Sean Payne flashed the ball across the FT goal from long range.
Abbott saved to keep Elite in it, but Gilfoyle missed a golden opportunity to restore some of the deficit soon after.
End-to-end football continued, Brunton megged Shakes but was denied by the FT keeper and Gilfoyle hit the post before Kelly saw another strike smothered by the annoyingly good FT keeper.
Abbott continued to guard the Elite goal and keep FT out and both Gilfoyle and Mr Yellow hit the side netting before the half-time whistle.
Half-Time: Elite FC 4 Florentina Turner 8
Payne went in goal so Abbott could get some proper game time but was quickly penalised for an overarm throw and Mr Yellow finished from the spot on 21 minutes.
Abbott was making his presence felt but unfortunately a lovely dummy to Madeley was dealt with without too much trouble by FT.
Mr Yellow got cocky and fluffed his shot but scored again less than a minute later to take FT to double figures with 23 minutes gone.
Gilfoyle saw another shot saved and Madeley went oh so close on 25 minutes.
Elite were not going down without a fight, with lots of tenacious play from Gilfoyle and Madeley in particular.
FT hit the post on 27 minutes but Mr Green scored his first and only goal of the game less than a minute later.
Kelly rattled FT's woodwork and Brunton went close, before Payne had to be alert to make a fine reactive save on 30 minutes.
Shakes (Judas) scored again on 32 minutes before Josh Nicholls skipped past just about everyone to find the net and inspire a comeback from Elite,
An Abbott goal quickly followed and Elite were on six with seven minutes to go and a renewed sense of purpose.
Mr Black scored again, FT's 13th, unlucky for Elite on 34 minutes, before a handball by Mr Yellow gave Elite a freekick.
A lovely long-range strike from Nicholls combined power and accuracy to sail home and Nicholls completed his hat-trick moments later with a quick-fire shot on 34 minutes.
Abbott coolly dispatched a penalty into the top corner, making it nine for Elite but the home side were running out of time, Shakes miss in the last few minutes was inexplicable but Mr Yellow (who else?) scored again in the dying seconds to cement FT's win.
Half-Time: Elite FC 9 Florentina Turner 14
Man of the Match: A spirited team performance from Elite against tough opposition which changed when Shakes (the turncoat) joined FT for the evening :P. Elite were outplayed by the One Direction twins (it's the hair!) and Mr Yellow was undoubtedly their motm. However for Elite, Dave Madeley just shades it over Josh Nicholls' quality goals, due to overall contribution throughout the match.


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Gear Retainer Clip Kit
The Gear Retainer Clip Kit made by A&A Manufacturing replaces lost or broken clips for your A&A gear plate assembly. The kit contains twelve replacement gears and is easily installs to secure the gears to the plate and ensure longevity for your in-floor system.
- Includes (12) Retainer Clips.
- Fits all A&A gear plates.
- White Color.
- Metal Construction.


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- Home Page
- Company Profile
Our Products
- HF Cow
- Murrah Buffalo
- Sahiwal Cow
- Tharparkar Cow
- Sahiwal Hiffers Cow
- Sahiwal Bulls
- Contact Us
|» Products
|» Sahiwal Cow
|» High Milking Sahiwal Cow
We have become a dominant player in the market of offering High Milking Sahiwal Cow. This cow is known for giving high quality milk with high butter fat content. Also, it is known for it's best grade milk and extensively demanded in various dairy production units. The color of this cow ranges from reddish brown to red. It is of medium sized on an average, head is short in size, forehead is elevated, horns are small in size but thick and udder is big sized and hanging. High Milking Sahiwal Cow yields of over 3000 kgs milk in a standard lactation on 305 days. It is properly grown in hygienic environment and is fed with excellent grade grass.
GOKUL DAIRY FARM All Rights Reserved.(Terms of Use)
Developed and Managed by Infocom Network Ltd.


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Coming off the heels of bans to subs like r/TheGreatAwakening, r/SJWHate, and r/MillionDollarExtreme, Reddit continues to be cracking down on hate promoting content.
Many had wondered how a sub like r/JohnCusack was allowed to exist for so long with their blatant support of Trump, Adolf Hitler, and ISIS.
The actor for which the sub was named continues to be unavailable for comment as people are beginning to question his involvement in the Neo Nazi Alt-Right.


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Wonderful World of Nature
Thea Feldman
Disney, 2012 (2012)
Reviewed by Bob Walch
sing characters from the Disney production of
The Jungle Book
, this lavishly illustrated volume takes children on an exploratory trip around the globe to visit vast deserts, high mountain peaks, lush forests and the ocean floor.
fter a general introduction where the flora and fauna of boreal, temperate and tropical forests is introduced, the reader will go on to visit temperate grasslands, deserts like the Sahara, lofty mountains such as the Himalayas, and marine environments varying from coral reefs and tide pools to the mysterious bathypelagic or
zone of the ocean.
fter this whirlwind tour of some of the natural wonders of Earth, the book addresses some of the concerns of pollution and what it is doing to our rivers, lakes and wetlands.
uch of the information here is presented in a question and answer format. For example: '
What are some trees found in the Amazonian rain forest? Where are the world's grasslands? What do animals need to survive in the desert?
lthough the topic is obviously not handled in depth,
The Wonderful World of Nature
does offer an attractive introduction to a vast subject that the youngster will one day hopefully study in greater detail. After reading this book, ask your child what he or she would like to learn more about. It might be the ocean, African animals or perhaps bears.
arents home schooling their child, teachers and school librarians will find this book and the others in the
Wonderful World
series ideal resources for introducing children to broad subject areas such as animals, dinosaurs, sharks and space.
Note: Opinions expressed in reviews and articles on this site are those of the author(s) and not necessarily those of BookLoons.
Find more Kids books on our
or in our book


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Tuesday December 10, 2019; 02:52 pm EST
Shady Side fifth-graders saving the Bay one handful of spat at a time
Some Southern Anne Arundel County students are taking the adage bloom where you're planted more than a few steps further. Fifth-graders at Shady Side Elementary are planting oysters to help restore the Bay's oyster population.
"We need oysters to clean the Bay," said Lacey Wilde, 11, the daughter and granddaughter of working watermen.
Wilde is one of 75 fifth-graders in a year-long project with the Chesapeake Bay Foundation to reseed the Bay's declining oyster beds. The student project contributes about 14 million new oysters a year to the Bay.
"We're pretty much doing what nature does," Wilde said, by growing baby oysters, spat, at the Foundation's restoration project in Shady Side.
Like Wilde, many of the students have family ties to the Bay, which is just a few blocks from the school.
"These kids grew up with the Bay as their backyard," said fifth-grade teacher Jenna Weckel, their advisor. "A lot of these kids spend time on boats and the water."
"I just wanted to help out," said Caden Feathers, 11, even though he isn't a big fan of eating oysters.
In the last few weeks, students have been making weekly visits to the Foundation's docks to check the progress of their oysters, measuring since last August the growth of their button-size spat.
"It takes three years for them to develop into full-size oysters," said Dan Johannes, coordinator of the foundation's restoration program. The foundation produces some 30 million oysters annually in Anne Arundel County and on the Eastern Shore.
The students recently helped spread microscopic oyster larvae into four 3,300-gallon tanks at foundation docks. Each handful of dark brown goo represents 3.5 million future oysters. The students helped spread the diluted larvae into each of the five-foot-tall cylindrical tanks filled with Bay water and recycled oyster shells, to which the larvae will attach and grow into spat.
Students use hand-held instruments to test each tank's water for temperature, salinity, pH and dissolved oxygen. They study the larvae under microscopes, then haul up cages of young oysters (along with a few squirming baby eels and crabs) tied to the foundation dock to check their oysters' progress.
In late summer, the large tanks will be emptied in spots strategically chosen for optimal oyster growth. Last year's output is now growing on an artificial reef in Glebe Bay, just off the South River in Edgewater.
"This year's crop is headed for the Choptank," said Patrick Beall, a foundation assistant.
The students' project is self-funded. They received a $2,500 start-up loan from the school's parent-teacher organization, which they are repaying through the sale of Bay-themed note cards.
Jeremiah Nick, 10, empties a dockside cage of oysters that the students seeded last August. Since then the spat have grown to button-sized oysters.
"The students took their own photos of the Bay and are selling the cards themselves," Weckel said.
Wilde and Feathers, along with Kevin Vecchio, 10, and Hannah Langborgh, 11, took the lead in presenting their fund-raising plan to the PTO. They also enlisted the help of a local printer and businesses like Christopher's Market, where the $8 packs of the cards are sold.
"When I asked who wanted to do this after school, not one hand wasn't raised." Weckel said.
This is Weckel's fifth year guiding the students' oyster restoration project. Through it, several students have developed an interest in majoring in marine biology in college — plus a deeper connection with their environment.
"We wanted the kids to take a stand for something," Weckel said.


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|Nakhil Al Watan Dates Factory
Country: Saudi Arabia
City: Riyadh
Address: P.O. Box 371999 Al Kharj Road Riyadh K S A Zip 11325
Phone: +9661 4399999
Fax: +9961 2901199
Local Business Registration Code: CC NO 220609 / LIC NO 1625/S
Number of company employees : 100-500
Approximate annual sales : USD$50,000,000
Percentage of exports : 30%
Website: www.nakhealalwatan.com
|Catagory:Food Sub-categories: Dates
|We can verify that Nakhil Al Watan Dates Factory has been registered with ExportBureau
from 24/12/2011 to today 10/12/2019 for a period of 7 years and 353 days.
|Report this company
Thank you ! We have sent your message.
|This report should be used only as a guide to build a more informed opinion on potential international trading partners.
click here to update this company information


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My name is Jorge. I'm a software engineer at the Scala Center where I work on developer tools for the Scala programming language.
My work lies at the intersection of compiler technology and build tools, with a special focus on developer productivity and compilation performance.
- sbt/zinc, Scala's incremental compiler.
- scalacenter/bloop, a fast Scala build server.
- BSP, a build server protocol.
- sbt/sbt, the most popular Scala build tool.
- scalacenter/scalac-profiling, a proof-of-concept
- Design Challenges of Bloop, a fast concurrent build server (slides) (video not yet available), 2019 Scala World
- Build Server Protocol and new IDEAs with Justin Kaeser, 2018 ScalaSphere Kraków
- Meet Bloop and Get More Productive v2 with Martin Duhem, 2018 Scala Days, New York
- Meet Bloop and Get More Productive v1 with Martin Duhem, 2018 Scala Days, Berlin
- June 2019. Integrate Bloop with Bazel and Pants
- June 2018. Speed up compilation times with scalac-profiling
- Oct 2018. Overload methods with extra parameter lists
- Oct 2017. How often do we change our sbt build?


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2019 Campground Rates
Tent Sites
Unserviced $25.00
Water only $27.00
Trailer/RV Sites
15 Amp Electric & Water $35.00
15 Amp 3-way service $38.00
30 Amp 3-way service $44.00
50 Amp 3-way service $48.00
Rental Trailers
for a rate of $115.00 or $125.00. Trailers sleep 4 or 6 people. Both have a kitchen, bathroom, deck and BBQ.
Camping Cabins
available for $115.00 or $125.00. Some cabins have a 2 piece bath.
Reservations & Cancellations
We are available to make Reservations for each Camping Season beginning April 1. The campground is open Friday of the Victoria Day long weekend until the middle of October. All reservations require a major credit card. Also, when making your reservation we cannot specify site numbers.
Cancellation Policy
Cancellations within 48 hours of arrival, will be charged $5.00. No Shows will be charged one night of their reservation.


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adidas Volleyball Summer Tournaments
adidas Volleyball approached ASK for an updated retail space for their summer tournament tour as well as a VIP lounge for players. For this project ASK designed custom retail fixtures, provided layout and graphic placement guidelines, and designed a full package of event collateral including lanyards, badges, photo backdrops, and social media graphics.
1 / 6All Projects


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Bring on the guac.
Summer is HERE!
You're better than store bought chips and salsa!
Proof that you don't need an entrée to feel #fancy.
Just living in a world of pure imagination.
Here's exactly what to bring instead.
Get outta here with your cake pops.
Cause if you like it then you should put a ring around it.
Donut even think about touching my fries.
The only thing more impressive than this app are his insane real-life stories (like the time Chuck Norris broke his rib!).
It's like a giant, molten candy bar, and you'll have to restrain yourself not to eat it all yourself.
It's like a chili-cheese Crunchwrap for a crowd, and your March Madness watch party isn't complete without it.
It's like a stuffed crust pizza—no actual pizza necessary.
Imagine cheesy garlic bread—but made out of tater tots.
When I dip, you dip, we dip.
First things first: They're the chillest.
If you like piña coladas ... then you're going to L-O-V-E this.


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John R. Gregg to Judge 2013 National Invitational Public Policy Challenge
The Second Annual National Invitational Public Policy Challenge will take place in Philadelphia, Penn., March 16-17, 2013. Bingham Greenebaum Doll LLP Partner John R. Gregg has been chosen to judge from among Governing magazine's past Public Officials of the Year. Gregg was the 2002 Governing Public Official of the Year for serving as the Democratic Speaker of the Indiana House of Representatives.
The National Invitational Public Policy Challenge is hosted by the Fels Institute of Government at the University of Pennsylvania with Governing magazine. It challenges student teams to develop a policy proposal and civic campaign plan to achieve significant change in their hometowns.
In the First Round on Saturday, March 16, nine teams will compete for one of the top four spots to win $5,000. In the Finals on Sunday, March 17, the top five teams will compete for the chance to win the grand-prize of $10,000 to kick-start their policy proposals.
First Round:
Chemical Heritage Foundation
315 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.
Kirby Auditorium, National Constitution Center
525 Arch Street
Philadelphia, PA 19106
10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.


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Rooms & Availability at Esmeralda Hotel
Description of Esmeralda Hotel
This family-run hotel is conveniently located in the heart of Kremasti and offers a coffee bar and a swimming pool.
The Esmeralda Hotel features family rooms, a 24 hour reception and bicycle rental. The hotel also provides a currency exchange, limited hours room service and a safe. The hotel's professional staff are available to assist with local insight on excursions, activities and dining.
The comfortable rooms at the Esmeralda Hotel have a refrigerator, a private bathroom and a kitchenette. Amenities featured in the rooms include tea and coffee making facilities and a hair dryer. Internet access is also available.
Guests of the Esmeralda Hotel can enjoy a continental breakfast, which is served daily. Guests can enjoy a drink and relax in the hotel's bar. The hotel's on-site restaurant is open for lunch and dinner.
Features at Esmeralda Hotel
Map of Esmeralda Hotel


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During the summer of 2013, we asked holidaymakers around West Cork to tell us about their holiday experience. Find out what their highlights were, what they did, where they stayed and ate and how they rated aspects of their experience.
Guinness Storehouse and Dublin Zoo each welcomed over one million visitors in 2013. Find out what other attractions proved popular in 2013 in Fáilte Ireland's visitors to top fee charging attractions 2013.
Over half a million people visited the National Gallery of Ireland in 2013. Find out what other attractions topped the list in Fáilte Ireland's visitors to top free attractions 2013 (pdf 46kb).
Fáilte Ireland estimates that 6.7 overseas visitors came to Ireland in 2013, spending an estimated €3.3 billion. To find out more about overseas and domestic visitors to Ireland in 2013, download the 2013 tourism facts.
Download the report to get the latest data on overseas visitors to Ireland in 2013.
Download the latest report on domestic travel in Ireland during the first nine months of 2013.
Fáilte Ireland's regular state of the season survey exploring tourism businesses' opinions on the season. Find out what they thought of the 2013 season and what they expect for 2014.
Fáilte Ireland's regular state of the season survey exploring tourism businesses' opinions on the season. Find out what they thought of the year to September and what they expect for the rest of 2013.
There are 51 guesthouses in County Kerry, representing one in five of all guesthouses nationally. Find out more about accommodation capacity statistics for 2013.
A study on the positive impact of the lower VAT rate on the tourism industry. This paper looks at how the VAT cut contributed to lower prices, increased activity and increased employment.


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In all this animation took me about 2 weeks to finally produce. A lot of things went wrong which was all down to my severe lack in knowledge of the program but it gave me several massive learning curves which should hopefully help me as I continue on the foundation course.
I realise now that I may have spent way too long on making the finished animation look polished but I was adamant at the start of the animation course that I was going to finish with some reasonably polished animations even though that's not what gets me the grades. Nonetheless I had lots of fun producing this animation and I can't wait to start my next one.
Referring back to my original ideas I think that I have successfully created a potential popular web series to be put onto Youtube. I received lots of positive feedback from it and it seems that if I have some time later in the year I should maybe invest some time into making more episodes for peoples entertainment.
The constructive feedback I got mainly focused on the sound. I know the sound isn't nearly polished enough but it delivered the idea of the animation basically enough. If this was to become a web series I would have to record my own catchy jingle for the start with a piece I created myself. This would also ensure that the music fits perfectly in with the length of the title scenes and the ending. The feedback I got was that the song at the intro stopped to suddenly and the music after that needs a bit of fading in. In addition, the dramatic music was maybe a bit much and the pace of his walk was possibly too slow. This is all stuff which I would have revised better if I was to redo the project again. I had a rough idea beforehand on how important the sounds where for an animation but I now know how unbelievably crucial it can be between a useless animation and a professional looking one.
Although the program Adobe Flash C6 was a massive pain in the arse at the start and during most of the entire manufacturing process I think it delivered a polished looking animation. I now have a much much better understanding of the program which means that in my next animations I will hopefully spend less time making the final product. On top of this Flash will clearly be useless if I started animating more than one character. The use of framing and layers will become impossibly complicated on such a basic program. However, it is successful at producing some reasonably polished looking animations perfect for a few quick foundation year briefs.
I definitely hope to use Flash again in a new brief in the future. Unless I find a similar much better alternative for free, which I doubt.


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The Petone Settlers Museum will reopen on Saturday July 17 following a well deserved refurbishment that marks the 70th anniversary of the opening of its building. The Wellington Provincial Centennial Memorial was built to commemorate the arrival of the first New Zealand Company immigrants on Pito-one's (Petone's) shores in 1840 and was officially opened on 22 January, 1940.
A new exhibition, Tatou Tatou, will commemorate the historic meeting of the great Te Atiawa chiefs, Te Wharepouri and Te Puni, and the first British settlers on Petone foreshore and explore the ongoing ramifications for Maori and Pakeha. Tatou Tatou, meaning 'we, you and I' or 'all of us', also features early settler dramas of fire, earthquakes, floods, bloodshed and industry boom and bust.
The refurbishment will breathe life back into this important landmark, which some may also remember as a bathing pavilion, incorporating the charms of the existing building while creating a contemporary museum experience. Children will be able to relive the settler experience with a "Passport to Petone", interactive booklet.
The museum also provides schools with a unique resource within the larger Wellington area.
On 18 December 1938, Ivor Te Puni, a descendant of chief Te Puni, wrote a letter to the Prime Minister of New Zealand requesting that in light of the 1940 Centennial Celebrations, commemorating 100 years since the arrival of the European settlers, he remembers the Maori people who 'gave'. The result of this remarkable letter was the depiction of Te Puni on the arched window of the Memorial's façade, extending his hand in welcome to the new settlers.
'…since we have been locked together 'Tatou tatou' wouldn't it be a fitting tribute to the memory of my worthy forbear the late chief Te Puni, the head and representative of his tribe to have a monument erected at and unveiled at the coming celebrations?'
Watch out for The Beatgirls performing swing-time classics there on August 14, 5:30-6:30pm, as part of the Petone Winter Carnival.
Photographs courtesy of Petone Settlers Museum.


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Over the past 14 years, Irie Weekend has blossomed from a Miami fundraising affair into a must-attend, celebrity-loaded, multiday spectacle. Its founder, the lovable DJ Irie, is still pulling out all the stops. This year's shindig packs seven events into four days. It'll kick off Thursday with the #InspIRIE Dinner Gala, featuring a performance by Sean Paul at the Fontainebleau, the weekend's headquarters.
"It's a dream come true to see where we've started and where we are today," says Irie, who is perhaps best known for being the longtime official DJ of the Miami Heat, Jamie Foxx, and so many other big names. "The vision of it was to have something fun, get people involved, and do it all for the community. Now we have a lot of stuff for people to do, man. A lot of stuff."
Proceeds from all events benefit the Irie Foundation, which provides scholarship opportunities, cultural experiences, and mentorship programs to local at-risk youth. Last year, the weekend — which is organized by Irie and a dedicated team of 22 people — attracted nearly 3,000 guests. This year, Irie hoping to double that number.
So what's on deck for the 2018 edition?
For starters, golf has always been a big part of Irie Weekend. And rather than playing on a traditional course, Irie and company will hit Topgolf in Miami Gardens for all kinds of fun this Friday. There will be a kids' golf clinic in the morning, a celebrity Topgolf tournament midday, and a one-of-a-kind concert experience that night.
"So at some
For the first time ever at a Topgolf facility, a stage will be erected on the green, and Ludacris will rock the crowd. Later Friday evening, it's back to LIV at the Fontainebleau, where Irie will be joined by Gucci Mane and DJ Diesel (Shaquille O'Neal)
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"We got hooked up with one of the biggest event spaces on the beach," Irie says. "And Guy is just a true master of barbecue. I'll have his barbecue anytime!"
Diplo will headline a set at E11even this Saturday night, and the weekend will wrap Sunday morning with Turn Down for Brunch, hosted by "Foodgod" Jonathan Cheban at StripSteak.
"This weekend... it's like having septuplets as a new parent," Irie laughs. "As streamlined as we are, we start from scratch. We want our guests to have a new experience every time, and we're ready to go."
Irie Weekend. Thursday, June 29, through Sunday, July 1, at various locations throughout South Florida; irieweekend.com. Tickets for events start at $25, and VIP and exclusive packages are available. Proceeds benefit the Irie Foundation.


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Flight tickets to Terrace from Las Vegas
If you're looking for flight tickets to Terrace from Las Vegas, WestJet is your trusted source. We operate flights to more than 150 exciting destinations in North America, Central America, the Caribbean and Europe — which includes flights into Northwest Regional Airport — so you can rest assured that we're the airline that gets you where you want to be. But we don't just offer great flights to fantastic destinations; we also deliver a caring and considerate air travel experience, one that includes safety, comfort and reasonable prices. So look no further than WestJet when you want to put service and value first.
Low fare finder
Don't see what you're looking for? Find all of our great low fares in one place.
the Gateway to the North is only a flight away
Airport Details: To YXT, Northwest Regional Airport From LAS, McCarran International Airport
Nature lovers and outdoor explorers are well catered-for in Terrace. Named for the surrounding, flat-topped mountains, this is a place where outdoor adventure is a daily occurrence, with biking, climbing and fishing in the summer as well as cross-country, downhill and even heli-skiing in the winter. An assortment of museums, galleries and heritage sites appeals to visitors with cultural interests, while the Riverboat Days annual festival adds large-scale firework displays to the already-spectacular landscape.
Don't wait any longer. Book flight tickets with WestJet and before long you'll find yourself in mountainous, adventuresome Terrace. It doesn't matter if you're flying for business or to see the city's much-loved attractions — including Heritage Park Museum, fishing in Kalum River and Riverboat Days — you can rest easy knowing that WestJet travel is both safe and comfortable. Fly to Terrace from Las Vegas with WestJet, the airline that gives you more for less.


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INFO: the participation of PROGETTI RENEWABLE ENERGY by the stand of Helios Tecnologie has had great success, at the international fair called PROGETTO FUOCO in Verona.
Progetti Renewable Energy together with Suite S.r.l. and Elios Tecnologie, commercial partners on the Italian market of the renewable energies, have introduced a series of new products:
– The new Asola 240 wp. single-crystalline PV module, is a module with only positive tolerance. With manufacture guarantee of 10 years!
– The new Jumbo Solar controlled stratification tank, range of tanks with instantaneous production of sanitary hot water, solar integration and integration to heating. The production of sanitary hot water occurs through an exchanger made of AISI steel complete of softener function. The range includes products from 650 litres until 2000 litres.
– The new vacuum solar collector with rapid fixing systems and possibility of using the demineralized water as a vector fluid.
– The new range of thermo-chimneys and pellet heaters.
– The BIO TERMOCAMINO Polyfuel, with production of sanitary hot water and possibility of burning without any problem extra kits, MAIZE, Pellet, etc.
– The new FLOOR RADIANT SYSTEM , to be used as wall/floor heating , with possibility of different applications. All equipped with accessories and dedicated thermoregulations.
– It is also possible to do the summer cooling.
Progetti Renewable Energy, Suite and Helios Tecnologie thank the numerous visitors of the stand, and apologize for not being able to receive all, considering the unforeseen crowd. For all the people who have not been able to have a direct contact with us, please get in touch with the relative companies though our websites: