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We continue our Nicaraguan nightmare in the thick of night back at Zappa (Zapatera). The moon hangs high while a salt and pepper haired cupcake of a man sits in the corner clutching his teddy bear and begs for team unity. "We need to come together. We need to settle our differences.", The Cuddler (Steve) laments. Lawyer Dave, however, doesn't give a fig about coming together. All he wants is to win and with that feeble-minded hippy sparrow Sarita on the tribe he fears that winning is merely but a wistful dream. You see, Sarita is one of those hot air people. They do a lot of talking but when it comes time to put those words into action, all that hot air leaks out and all you're left with is a shriveled up clump of cheap rubber with little strands of spit seeping out of it. Sarita is angry that Dave voted for her at Tribal Council. The only explanation she can come up with for his heinous act of dissension is that he's been lured over to the dark side. Really Sarita? A horned goat's head came out of the night and with a long bony finger beckoned Dave to join him in his underground lair where virgins are sacrificed and baby's blood is on the breakfast menu? Look, if that really happened that would be my Survivor fantasy come to life, but it didn't happen. Sarita sucks, Dave knows it, he's not afraid to say it and that's that. Meanwhile, The Cuddler is freaking out because his tribal unity is tainted and his lace bloomers haven't been ironed in days. Again I ask, wasn't he in the NFL for like many many years? My friend's 18 month old baby has more anger and gumption than Steve ever will. And what the hell is going on with Mike? Didn't he fight in a war for us? How is it that these paradigms of "manliness" are nothing but delicate little robin's eggs wrapped in pretty pink satin bows? Your honor, I move that Lawyer Dave is the only man on Zappa worthy of holding onto his balls. Off with the others!
Over on Rhode Island (Redemption Island) a different sort of torture is taking place. Stephanie has been talking for the past 6 hours about food and the usually gentle and serene Pretty Pony (Matt) is about to cut her tongue out and feed it to the sharks. Do you remember Vanessa Huxtable's friend on The Cosby Show? The one who talked a mile a minute and made Dr. Huxtable's eyes bug out of his head? Well, that's Stephanie. "ImeantheressomanythingsIloveVietnamesefoodThaifoodChinesefoodlikeItalianfood *inhale* Idon'tevenlikesweetsbutbringitonI'mgonnahaveasliceofredvelvetfromthisbakerythatIusedtoworkat *inhale* TheweirdestthingI'vebeencravingtohavelikebananashakeswithpeanutbutterinit *inhale* Theflavorofpeanutbutterlikesnickerdoodleswithpeanutbutterontop" Poor Pretty Pony was sitting there fashioning a noose out of his buff and praying that death comes quick and painless. Suicide is a sin and I don't think it comes with a "Get Into Heaven Free" card, but Pretty Pony is willing to take that risk if it'll just make Stephanie shut the hell up.
Back at Omarion (Ometepe), it's time to pick people to witness the Duel. Federal Agent Phillip announces that it's his turn to go again and upon hearing this Rob insists on attending the Duel with him. You see, Phillip is an unpredictable loose cannon. He could fire off all sorts of missiles of tribal information to the Zappa's and it's in Rob's best interest to make sure Phillip keeps his mouth shut and stays in line. Similarly, Phillip doesn't trust Rob either so he turns to his Samurai spirit guide, Miyamoto Musashi for inspiration. It turns out that Musashi was not only a psychotically unpredicatable sword wielder, but he wrote a book about 5 rings or something. I don't know about you, but when I hear "5 rings" I think of Christmas... "Fiiiive goooolden riiiings". Unfortunately, nothing about Musashi is Christmas-y. In fact, he was kind of a scary unkempt miscreant. He wandered the wilderness refusing to bathe or change his clothes because he feared being attacked while unprepared. With scars all over his face from congenital syphillis he'd challenge random people to duels for no reason at all. Once he whittled a wooden sword out of an oar and then bashed someone's head in with it. Now, I'm not a Buddhist or anything, but if it pleases the court, I move that Phillip is Miyamoto Musashi reincarnated. Both men could clearly benefit from a good scrubdown in addition to, oh I don't know, maybe a drug trial for some newfangled schizophrenia meds.
Over at Rhode Island it's Duel time. Phillip and Rob are there representing Omarion with David and Rooster (Ralph) representing Zappa. In trots the Pretty Pony and I'm instantly shocked by his appearance. My normally resplendent equine loverboy is haggard and exhausted with sad little dark circles under his eyes. Frightened whiggedy whack strands of hair stick out of his usually pristine ponytail and I instantly gave Stephanie my devil death stare. Clearly, her words are poisonous little daggers of evil. She's sullied my pony! His purity is gone. The light in his eyes has dimmed. He's nothing but a damaged tattered representation of what he used to be. God cried that day my friends. God and me. We both cried. When beauty is lost all you can do is cry... or go nuts like Norma Desmond. It's up to you. *shrugs shoulders* Whatevs. Ok so this week the duel is going to test the Survivors memory. Grrrreat. Pretty Pony hasn't slept all night and his brain is filled with words and phrases like "cake" and "chocolate dipped in peanut butter". This is the worst possible time for this challenge. I hate you Dimples. Scattered in the arena are pairs of matching symbols. Each round you flip over two symbols and if they match you score a point. The first person to match five stays alive. Stephanie won the Rochambeau and has chosen for Pretty Pony to go first. You bitch! Survivors ready, go.
Pretty Pony does what any good Christian does. He gives up candy for Lent, makes the sign of the cross and hopes for the best. First, he flips over a skull and I thought to myself, "It's a sign! It's a sign! This can't be good" and then he flipped over another skull. I whipped off my shirt, dipped my breasts into two conveniently placed bowls of glitter and shouted at the screen, "Suck on that Stephanie!" Those etiquette classes I've been taking are really paying off. Stephanie takes her turn and flips a crocodile. Then, she flips another fucking crocodile. Oh, come on! Here I am thinking Pretty Pony is the second coming and devil girl Stephanie pulls a magical move out of her ass as well. Pretty Pony goes again and fails to make a match. The air is tinged with evil now. Any goodness that was lingering was killed when Stephanie matched those stupid crocodiles.
Flip, flip, flip Pretty Pony makes two more matches and I knew that Jesus had finally awoken from his nap. Then Stephanie makes a match, claps for herself and I threw my gin glass at the screen. I learned that in Elocution Class. Flip, flip, flip the score is now 4-3 with Pretty Pony in the lead. He flips a calendar and knows he's seen the other one before, but all that's swirling in his head, thanks to Stephanie, are visions of macaroons and hot fudge sundaes. He gets the match wrong and it's Stephanie's turn again. She, too, flips the calendar. I covered my face with my hands and said, "No match no match no match no match". Someone somewhere was listening cuz girfriend screwed up and flipped war clubs. For his next turn, Pretty Pony looks up to heaven and let's the Holy Spirit fill his soul. He flips over the war clubs and then... he flips over ANOTHER war clubs. PRETTY PONY STAYS ALIVE!!!! I cantered around the room while Boston Rob reluctantly clapped.
Stephanie starts to cry and then she does what has become my favorite part of Rhode Island. She blabs all sorts of secrets and throws a tantrum like a sore loser. First, she says that there are people there that don't deserve to be there. Then, she turns to Rooster and tells him that he has to get rid of Sarita. She says that David is the only one that can do puzzles and I'm now convinced that he must have smuggled in a pocket game of Connect Four or something. Dimples pushes Stephanie to continue as he loves the spilling of secrets as much I do. She turns to Rob and tells him to watch his back and not to trust anyone on Zappa. She advises Rob to try to win Pretty Pony back and that made Matt laugh. In that moment, I knew, I just knew, that if Pretty Pony reenters the game, all hell is going to break loose. Everyone and no one is going to want him on their side. He's a number, but he's also a HUGE threat. With Jesus as his partner, I wouldn't put it past him to win Individual Immunity week after week. Does that make him the best player in the game? I don't know. Rob's been playing his game with a finesse I've never seen before. It's subtle yet skilled, psychological yet physical. Right now I'd be torn in a Pretty Pony/Boston Rob final two.
There's one more little thing we have to address before we leave Rhode Island. It turns out that Phillip is a fan of the Pretty Pony as well. He starts to quote the Bushido code I mentioned in my opening paragraph only he pronounces it "Bee-shoe-doh". Dry mouth syndrome. Anyhow, he tells Pretty Pony that he is indeed a Samurai warrior. Matt laughs and thanks him, but I shouted, "No, he's not! Does he look like he has syphillis to you?! He couldn't hurt a butterfly let alone smash in some guy's brains in with a rotten old oar. You shut your face Phillip Sheppard!" I was furious Phillip dared to compare himself to that precious angel, but Rob was pissed off for another reason. He was pissed that Phillip dared to open his mouth at all. It's clear to Rob now that Phillip is ready to make a big move. He's planting seeds and gathering up an alliance. I don't know. I think Rob is giving Phillip a little bit too much credit. I think all Phillip has up his sleeves is a clam shell walkie talkie and maybe a pinecone grenade.
On the way back to camp, Phillip asks Rob what they should tell the others about Rhode Island. He wonders if they should hold back intel and plan a covert operation. Apparently, Langley is waiting for word from Phillip on how to proceed. There are agents that need to be activated, fake passports to be made, interpol has to be notified. It's a whole big production and Phillip is anxious to get started. Rob quickly poo-poo's Phillip's idea to withhold info and tells him that it's best to keep their tribe strong and unified, but inside Rob was secretly celebrating. This was exactly the type of shady move he was praying Phillip would make. You see, now Rob can go back to camp and tell the others how Phillip wanted to get all Jason Bourne on everybody's ass. Mistrust is laid, Rob looks like the hero and, if Omarion loses again, Phillip is headed to Guantanamo where he'll have the best medical care the country has to offer.
When they finally do arrive at camp, Rob immediately tells everyone how Pretty Pony won and Stephanie let it all hang out. Mascaroni (Andrea) stabbed her Pretty Pony voodoo doll in the face and then Rob told everyone how Stephanie said Rob is the number one target. Phillip nodded, acknowledged the tiny seashell earpiece in his ear and then went off into the woods to write a letter in invisible ink (i.e. urine). As soon as Phillip was out of earshot, Rob tells everyone about the Jason Bourne plan and assures them that as soon as they merge, Phillip's flipping. They decide then and there that if they lose the next challenge, Phillip is going home. And then Phillip fell out of a tree and tried to cover it up with a somersault. Ahem, Navy Seal training. Nothing to be alarmed at. Go about your business.
Over at Zappa, The Cuddler wants to know if Stephanie said anything mean and nasty about him at Rhode Island. Did she pass any notes saying, "Steve's stinky!" or anything like that? These are things that The Cuddler is concerned with. Rooster mumbles "Yeayaw, she'n wawntin' 'em ta beet us". Lawyer Dave, on the other hand, said it really wasn't all that egregious and then Rooster wondered what 'egregious' meant. Sarita asks about the Pretty Pony and Rooster tells them that there's no way he'd flip sides at a Merge. I can see how Rooster would think that after Phillip rained down his Samurai speech on Pretty Pony, but I think Lawyer Dave may have been a tad more intuitive for he put his head down and walked away. After all, Stephanie did say to Rob that he should try to win Matt back. Rooster should have seen that as an opening to bring Pretty Pony into the fold. Instead he tells his tribe that Loy-yerr Dave will flip at the Merge which promptly sent Sarita into mom-mode and The Cuddler into a panic attack.
So while Zappa was lounging around content with being uninteresting and boring, Dave suggests they go out fishing. That storm the other night must have brought in some good pickings and they should take advantage of it. Leathery ole Julie rolled over and said, "Uhhh nooooo, I think the storm brought in mud. It's nappy time." Dave then tried to explain how the currents close to the equator tend to run, what fish are migrating at that time of year in the Carribean Sea and how the high and low pressure weather systems will affect camp. In response The Cuddler grabbed his fluffy pillow and said, "But it's mucky out there." Apparently, Rooster (from Virginia not Nicaragua) said the fishing is no good and the tribe would rather believe him than Loy-yerr Dave. Then, that battered ole piece of shoe leather, Julie, said Dave was driving her crazy and she went back to stretching her skin out to dry. What the hell is wrong with this tribe?! We know that Julie and The Cuddler are useless, but what's going on with Mike? I have a feeling that he's not exactly thrilled with the direction his tribe is headed in. I'm getting this vibe that he doesn't want to play ball with the geritol crowd. I'd like to see him speak up and do something, anything. Someone wave a mirror in front of his mouth so I know he's still breathing. Mike is like Bernie in Weekend At Bernie's. Does he have a pulse or not?
Over at Omarion, it's lunchtime. The rice has been cooked and Phillip is chewing with a ferocity that I can only interpret as being morse code. I'm pretty sure he can chew and send messages at the same time. *chew chew... chew... chew chew chew chew STOP chew... chew chew... chew* Translated, I think it means: "Water the marigolds. Viper is in transit. Need new panties." So everyone is happily eating their rice and Natalie has appointed herself as the Rice Hall Monitor. She's guarding the crispy rice for Rob because that's the only rice he eats. Phillip catches the name "Rob" on the wind, gets up and demands that he gets his share of crispy rice too. He's a 52 year old man not a red-headed stepchild. He should be entitled to exactly the same things Rob is entitled to. Then, Peter played ball in the house, Jan wore a wig and Phillip bellowed, "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" Why does Marcia (Rob) get to do everything?! All Phillip ever hears about in school is how good Marcia is at this or how great Marcia is at that. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Phillip is sick of being a redhead, sick of being ignored and sick of being treated like he doesn't matter. He's a senior member of this tribe goddammit. He's put in years of service and he wants his crispy rice pension now. When he signed the Constitution to be a part of Survivor it said very clearly in Article 1, Section 8: The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes and Phillip Sheppard shall have power to collect his crispy rice. It's right there in black and white. You can go down to the National Archives and see it for yourself.
Now we arrive at the big Immunity Challenge. It's a challenge we've seen before and it's one I've enjoyed very much before. Any time Survivors emerge like mud people and have to hurl their bodies against walls, an angel gets her wings. Ok so both tribes have to race through a series of obstacles collecting bags of balls. Once they've cleared all the obstacles, they have to shoot their balls into a basket. First tribe to get all 6 balls in the basket wins. Since the tribes are equal now, Sarita can't be a pussy and sit out. Also, they're playing for a helicpoter ride to a picnic complete with alcoholic beverages. Survivors ready, go!
Both tribes fly into a pile of hay and come tumbling out the other side. Sarita and Rob are then lifted into the air to unravel a bag of balls. Rob flings his bag around so it spins and spins and spins. Sarita limply raises her arm and wonders when this nightmare will end. Omarion gets their bag and begin crawling in the mud. Zappa finally gets their bag of balls and enters the mud. Since Julie is the same color as the mud I can only surmise that she sunk and hopefully we'll never see her again. Omarion is now at the wall of ropes where Phillip gets tangled up and kills Omarion's lead. Rob literally has to race back and carry Phillip through the last part of the obstacle. Since Sarita sucks at life, David goes up instead of her to work on the second bag of balls. Rob is also working on his balls but this time he flips them the wrong way and David pulls ahead. Zappa pulls ahead and approaches the maze of rope platforms. Sarita gets stuck and cries, "Help me! Help me!" while over at Omarion Rob is pretty much carrying on his Phillip on his back up and down all the rope ramps.
Zappa gets to their third bag of balls first while Phillip is still back asking a rope where his crispy rice is. David gets the third and final bag first and Zappa races to the brick wall. The Cuddler smashes into it, falls over and dies. Over on Omarion, Grant is the designated Smasher and breaks both walls for his team to climb through. At the end, it's a race to see who'll get their balls in the basket first. Toss, toss, toss, Grant probably played for the NBA, toss, toss, toss, balls are tied, toss, toss, toss OMARION WINS IMMUNITY!!! Sarita wanders around aimlessly wondering where she is, Dave drags The Cuddler's body through the mud and off somewhere in a private corner Phillip is making out with the Immunity statue. Hot.
Without further ado, Omarion is immediately whisked off in a helicopter to enjoy their Reward. The music is grand and sweeping, everyone is psyched to be in the chopper and Rob says that out of his 85 seasons of playing Survivor, landing on a volcano is the coolest Reward ever. Even Phillip is happy. Sure, he got tangled up in the ropes and sure Rob had to drag him by his panties through that entire last challenge, but the warrior inside Phillip is strong. A Samurai is nothing if not determined. Miyamoto Musashi once said, "In fighting and in everyday life you should be determined through calm. Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. Lucky numbers: 1,14, 22, 73, 96" So while Phillip is busy musing about how much his tribe loves and cherishes him, Rob is digging yet another Immunity scroll out of a jar of spiral cookies. Since he already has the Idol and since it's pretty cool to throw stuff down into a large cavernous bubbling cauldron of scalding hot lava, he chucks the scroll without even opening it. A rock star move if ever I saw one.
Back at Zappa, it's a rock star free zone. Sarita, of all people, addresses the tribe and says that Lawyer Dave isn't really all that great in challenges. Sarita, the spindly hiccup of a boil on the butt of competitiveness, thinks she's better in the challenges than Dave. I want to know where Sarita comes from because I think it would be a fun place to visit. Any place where there is LSD in the water supply has to be a good time, right? Her fingers probably make really cool trails and the trees outside probably talk to her. Book me a ticket. I like to escape reality every now and then. I usually do it with gin and a cornucopia of pharmaceuticals, but, hey, I'm up for anything. As long as I don't have to listen to the Grateful Dead and dance in Birkenstock's I'll hang with Sarita.
So, Sarita is making the rounds at camp slipping blotter into everyone's canteens and trying to convince everyone that David is a buzzkill to the tribal harmony. Rooster tells her David did awesome in the challenge today and Sarita shoves a handful of magic mushrooms in his mouth and says "No, he didn't." Rooster replies, "Yeauh'n yerrn probly raght." and off she scampers to drug another unsuspecting victim. Meanwhile, Dave is lugging an entire tree and preparing to whittle a court bench and a gavel or something. I have no idea. Did you see the size of that thing? It was huge! The only conclusion I can come to is that he wants a fair trial and is prepared to carve his own jury box. Either that or he's going to burn Sarita at the stake. Personally, I'm hoping for the latter.
Meanwhile Mike is all twisted up inside worrying how to vote. On the one hand, SARITA SUCKS. On the other hand, David is crafty and might be planning a Sarita barbecue. He consults Rooster and Julie which is kind of like consulting a hairball and a belt and I began to wonder if Mike is capable of making any decisions on his own. He's a strong strapping guy. He's been to war for crying out loud. Why is he being such a follower? Shouldn't he have PTSD and grumble about all the carnage he's seen? My god, he's soooooo boring. What a waste of a casting spot.
And this brings us to Tribal Council. Dimples asks Rooster how he thinks the challenge went and Rooster replies, "Jayff, twas prettay close t'day. We was ahayd 'til we got ta them balls." Dimples interrupts him and says to Lawyer Dave, "Finish this sentence. Excuses are for...?" and Dave, without missing a beat, replies, "Losers." Dimples sits back very pleased with himself while Rooster says, "I'm a loser then." In that moment Julie grimaced, took her face off and made a purse out of it while Dimples took yet another opportunity to bring up Russell's name. Dave thinks the tribe lacks unity. They were all united when they got rid of Russell, but for some reason it's gone now. At one point they were all friends and shared a goal, but now there's only tension and chaos.
Dimples turns to Rooster and asks him how important it is for a tribe to be cohesive. Rooster replies, "Way'll furss Jayff, I dun know what coyheesive means." *sighs* The tribe snickers to themselves and, in an attempt to simplify things, Dimples asks if he'd rather manage a group of guys who hated each other but got the job done or a group of guys who loved each other but did shit work. Rooster replies, "I disagree." *smacks self in head* It was here that it dawned on me that Rooster doesn't understand anything anyone is saying... ever. He's a local guy with local ears and the only language he understands is Virginie. Mind you, I live in Virginia, but Rooster lives in Virginie.
The quorum continues and The Cuddler whined a little, Julie turned her arm skin into a leather headband and Sarita babbled some nonsense about the Oceanic Six. David continued to be a bit of an arrogant smartass, but I kind of dug it. On a tribe full of pussies you need a smartass. I wonder if I could get that handstitched on a pillow somewhere. In the end, Zappa did the right thing and Sarita is the seventh person voted out of Survivor: Redemption Island. Dumb bitch didn't even pack a bag.
So, what did you guys think of last night's episode? Are you glad Sarita went home? Do you think she has any chance against the Pretty Pony? If Pretty Pony comes back, will Mascaroni stab him in his sleep? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!


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Transfer window: Ramires, Ashley Cole, Pato and more – as it happened | Football 12.19pm EST 12:19 That'll probably do for today. A quick summary of the day's happenings: And some other stuff too, but I'll let you find all that out for yourselves. It'll be nice for you. Ta ra, and do come back tomorrow when Nick Ames will be in the hot seat. 12.08pm EST 12:08 Plenty of word around that Andros Townsend's move to Newcastle has gone through, but no official confirmation from either side yet. That's possibly because Spurs seem to be having a lovely old time at a training camp in Barcelona. Hope they checked out the Gaudi museum. 12.04pm EST 12:04 As it turns out, that Plymouth signing they all had us on tenterhooks over was the arrival of 'former Manchester United hotshot' Daniel Nardiello on loan from Bury. And they're really selling this one, too: 'He scored 14 goals in 38 appearances last season for Bury but, having missed the start of this season through injury, has made just one substitute appearance for the Shakers this term' 12.02pm EST pre bonded hair12:02 It being 5pm, why not read the Fiver, today written by erstwhile transfer blogger Alan Smith on Bobby Martinez. The Fiver | The sour taste of hubris 12.00pm EST 12:00 Big update from Plymouth... — Plymouth Argyle FC (@Only1Argyle) January 27, 2016 News in 10 mins or so of a new loan signing. Meanwhile we found this photo in our database. Isn't it nice? #incomingpic.twitter.com/23MjAqPIt5
Although they're not exactly narrowing it down... — Plymouth Argyle FC (@Only1Argyle) January 27, 2016 Some more clues? He's a forward, and has scored at Home Park before.... #incoming#pafc 11.48am EST 11:48 Ooooh, here's juicy. Alex Teixeira has been tracked down by AnfieldHQ and quizzed about a potential move to Liverpool. Watch it here, but the summary is: he seems keen. — Anfield HQ (@AnfieldHQ) January 27, 2016 ANFIELD HQ WORLD EXCLUSIVE: Watch Anfield HQ Reporter @StefanoNBC6 speak to Alex Teixeira on a potential move to LFC https://t.co/DBt34u9lph 11.41am EST 11:41 Brendan Rodgers has RUBBISHED talk that Jürgen Klopp doesn't rate Christian Benteke. And you can - get this - listen to him saying so here. 11.37am EST 11:37 Peter Oh from Callyfornier has some thoughts on the latest big deal: "I am gutted (as you Brits say) by the Galaxy's signing of AS Roma flop Ashley Cole. LA needs a semi-retired waning European star and his bloated salary like another hole in the head. On the plus side, readers of Cole's writing can look forward to a new chapter in his autobiography about white-knuckling it on an unbelievably jammed 405 freeway in Marina del Rey." remy hair extensions11.24am EST 11:24 DONE DEAL! And it's one that's been in the pipeline for some time - Ashley Cole has signed for LA Galaxy. "Ashley is one of the world's most successful defenders and has played at the highest level of competition throughout his career," said Bruce Arena. "He can provide our defense with valuable experience. We look forward to his contribution to our club this season." — LA Galaxy (@LAGalaxy) January 27, 2016 BREAKING: The #LAGalaxy have signed English defender Ashley Cole https://t.co/OKKe2ObYvppic.twitter.com/1BPgDdkqo0 With Steven Gerrard and Robbie Keane already there, they're building up quite the team for the 2007/8 Premier League season. 11.13am EST 11:13 We had a little bit on Alex Teixeira earlier (13.33, if you're interested), but if you listen to Sky Sports, it's unlikely he'll move to Liverpool this month. 11.04am EST 11:04 DONE DEAL! 11.03am EST 11:03
Update now on the Gary Cahill story - according to Dominic Fifield, it's unlikely that he'll be allowed to leave Chelsea. This month, at least. Some more details on that one here... Gary Cahill unlikely to be permitted to leave Chelsea in transfer window 11.00am EST 11:00 Sounds like Matt Miazga really is a Chelsea player... — Matt Miazga (@MattMiazga3) July 27, 2014 Good experience and even better result with the 1-0 win over Arsenal #RBNY 10.51am EST 10:51 DONE DEAL!Hmmm, yeah, sorry, slightly slow on the uptake with this one... — BHAFC (@OfficialBHAFC) January 27, 2016 #BHAFC have signed Norwegian U21 international Henrik Rorvik Bjordal from Aalesunds FK. More information at https://t.co/kuzPvOUaTb. 10.42am EST 10:42 China is so hot right now... — Graeme Bailey (@GraemeBailey) January 27, 2016 perruques cheveux naturelsAnd hot on the heels of Ramires' move to China, Inter Milan's Colombian ace Fredy Guarin completes move to Shangai Shenhua. 10.40am EST 10:40 Word on the street* in Bristol is that Lee Tomlin is set to join City on loan for the rest of the season from Bournemouth. Tomlin only signed from Middlesbrough in the summer, but he's an absolutely perfect example of the 'good in the Championship, nowhere near good enough for the Premier League' player. *Bristol Post. 10.31am EST 10:31 10.28am EST 10:28 Here's one, as pointed out by a Lars Palm on the emails - Las Palmas have signed Uruguayan Mauricio Lemos from Defensor in Uruguay, via a loan spell at Rubin 'Elia' Kazan, according to La Provincia. He's also on loan at the Spanish club. 10.16am EST 10:16 Here's an interesting one - according to ESPN, Chelsea are set to sign 20-year-old centre-back Matt Miagza. The US international only has a year left on his contract, and will probably be a replacement in the Chelsea reserves for Papy Djilobodji, who of course cut short his glorious spell at Stamford Bridge when he left for Werder Bremen on loan last week. 10.10am EST 10:10 Another move in Italy - midfielder Alberto Grassi has joined Napoli from Atalanta. 10.08am EST 10:08
DONE DEAL! Swansea have completed the signing of Ryan Blair from Falkirk. He's a 19-year-old midfielder who's only just broken into the first team in Scotland, and as such will join the Swans' under-21 side rather than the first-team, for the time being at least. 10.03am EST 10:03 Another bit of spice to chuck into the pot... — Marcus Christenson (@m_christenson) January 27, 2016 Joel Matip misses training with Schalke today amid rumours of a Liverpool bid (via @Sky_Dirk) #lfc#s04 9.49am EST 09:49 And the latest full story on Ramires joining China's Jiangsu Suning Chelsea midfielder Ramires joins Jiangsu Suning for fee in excess of £20m 9.47am EST 09:47 Here's the Press Association story on Alexandre Pato Alexandre Pato 'so happy' to be joining Chelsea after arriving in London 9.37am EST 09:37 Pato, who has not played since November, is equally anxious to get back on the park. "I need to play. I don't know what to say because I am so happy. I am very anxious. I want to know my new friends, the new players, and the team. I really want to play for Chelsea," he said. A medical is understood to be taking place later today. Updated at 9.40am ESTperruques cheveux 9.32am EST 09:32 Looks like Alexandre Pato's chimney sweep hat reflects his chipper mood as he says he is "so happy" to be going to Chelsea on loan, although the club have yet to comment, he also described the club as "my new home" ... 9.16am EST 09:16 DONE DEAL! 9.06am EST 09:06 DONE DEAL! 8.56am EST 08:56 Here's some more on that Gary Cahill story, via Reuters. Chelsea's Gary Cahill wants to leave club to save Euro 2016 dream - report 8.47am EST 08:47 Phil Pierce has a query: "Any idea how Derby can spend £25m under the current Financial Fair Play rules? Surely they can't be making that much more than other Championship teams and yes I am a disgruntled Forest fan in case you were wondering." At a guess, I'd assume that with the assorted challenges to the FFP rules Derby reckon they aren't worth the paper they're printed on, so they can breezily ignore them on the basis they're not enforceable. Which is reasonably sensible, really. Either that or they're just sticking their fingers in their ears and choosing to worry about all this when they have to worry about it. 8.42am EST 08:42 Interesting one. According to a report by news agency Reuters, Gary Cahill is so concerned about his place in the England squad for the European Championships that he wants to leave Chelsea. Reuters report: The England vice captain has played more than 170 games for the Premier League champions but has made only 12 league appearances this season as Kurt Zouma and John Terry have become the preferred starters. Cahill fears he might miss out on the Euros this summer if he is still not playing regularly, a source close to the player told Reuters. While it could be too late to make the move before the current transfer window closes on Monday, Cahill is resigned to leaving the champions to ensure regular top-flight football. The highly regarded defender, who cost Chelsea around £7 million ($10.02 million) when he joined from Bolton Wanderers in January 2012, says he may be at the "crossroads of his career". We - well, more accurately someone else who works for the Guardian who has contacts and so forth - are looking into this one. 8.38am EST 08:38 8.38am EST 08:38 8.35am EST 08:35 Looks like Alexandre Pato is trying to fit in after arriving in London by wearing a chimney sweep's cap. — Joao Castelo-Branco (@j_castelobranco) January 27, 2016 Pato has arrived in London! pic.twitter.com/L85EbNkXUP 8.33am EST 08:33 Alex Teixeira has been the subject of much chitter and chatter this month, and it rather sounds like his current coach understands why. Speaking to FourFourTwo, Shakhtar Donetsk top dog Mircea Lucescu said: "He's worth €50 million. He's incredible, very fast, very good technique. I compare him with other players of the same age who changed [the fortunes of] a club, [Angel] Di Maria for example at Paris Saint-Germain.
"Teixeira can be at the same level, better even. He doesn't get injured, and every year he gets better and better. "Our president knows when it is the time for Teixeira to go. I don't want to keep a player against his desire. He wants to play in a big championship." 8.25am EST 08:25 Fancy a read about Emmanuel Adebayor and Crystal Palace's signing of him? Paul Wilson has one for you here. It's crystal clear why Palace took the Emmanuel Adebayor gamble – goals | Paul Wilson 8.19am EST 08:19 This was a throwaway line in The Rumour Mill this morning, but it seems there are legs to this whole 'Robin van Persie being a viable alternative for Chelsea' thing. Sky Sports claim it would take an 'extraordinary offer' to get him, but seem to suggest there is interest. Possibly. Who knows? 8.12am EST 08:12 A deal! I think. Looks like Sevilla have completed the signing of Eibar winger Keko, for about €7m. 8.00am EST lace front wigs 08:00 Word now from Sunderland, who have apparently made another bid for Lorient defender Lamine Koné. Lorient vice-president Alex Hayes told Ouest France: "Sunderland have come back with a firm offer that we couldn't refuse. The ball is therefore in Lamine Koné's camp. He has to make his decision in the coming hours." This has been quite the saga, as Sunderland seemingly had a move all wrapped up around the turn of the year, only to back out after recruiting Jan Kirchhoff and thoroughly irk Hayes in the process. He said a few weeks ago: "It's quite outrageous. We gave Sunderland our consent last Tuesday, Lamine left the next day to have contract talks, but the player warned us there were problems in negotiating his contract. "Because of the holidays it dragged out until Monday. They tried to change the pre-agreed deal. Lamine called me to ask if he could return to Lorient and I told him with great pleasure." 7.47am EST 07:47 Been whispers about this in Spain, but one suspects Neymar/whoever is just trying to parlay the Real 'interest' into a new deal at Barça. — Dermot Corrigan (@dermotmcorrigan) January 27, 2016 Idea of Florentino trying everything to get Neymar to 'do a Figo' pretty plausible. Would be perfect summer coup to strengthen his position. 7.39am EST 07:39 This could be interesting. Reports in Germany suggest that Liverpool have made a bid of around £6m for Schalke defender Joel Matip. His contract expires in the summer and wants to leave, and this could hasten things as well as providing some much-needed cover in Liverpool's defence. Bild reckon a deal is in place for him to sign for nothing in the summer, but this could hurry things along a little. For what it's worth, Jürgen Klopp a couple of weeks ago: "At the moment we have nothing to say about it. If and when something is agreed we will speak about it but nothing yet, nothing else to say." — Kaveh Solhekol (@SkyKaveh) January 27, 2016 Sky colleagues in Germany: Liverpool make offer for Schalke's Joel Matip. His contract runs out in the summer. He wants to leave. #LFC Updated at 7.43am EST 7.21am EST 07:21 Yet more conflicting reports on the future of Fulham's Moussa Dembélé - Sky say he's going to Tottenham, but ESPN reckon Monaco is his destination. 7.20am EST 07:20 Oh, one we forgot about from last night - Derby have signed defender Marcus Olsson from Blackburn, making that roughly their 2,427th purchase of the season. Seriously, they've spent north of £25million since the end of last season - if they don't go up now then a large number of people need tarring and feathering. 7.18am EST 07:18 Something on the ghosts of transfers past, here... Brendan Rodgers defends signing of £32.5m substitute Christian Benteke 7.12am EST 07:12 Some more thoughts on Pato to Chelsea, firstly from Graeme Neill... "Matt Collins makes a great point but Chelsea's odd striker signing policy dates back further - Shevchenko and Torres anyone? Only Drogba and Anelka have worked out well for them (jury is still out on Costa)." ...and also Steve Wingrove... "I live in São Paulo and support Corinthians. Pato is very disliked by Corinthians fans, largely because he's seen as a bit of a lazy, mummy's boy. Not wishing to generalize, but Corinthians is considered the people's team while São Paulo is more of a 'Mauricinho' or 'preppy' middle class team. Corinthians fans expect blood from their players and that's something which Pato simply wasn't giving. Thus, the loan to SP…
"Once more, not wishing to generalize, but Pato may well fit in at Chelsea considering the 'privileged' SW London location and the club's seeming belief in its God-given right to lounge around at the top of the table. "By the way, 'Pato' isn't a nickname but his surname – and it means 'duck' in Portuguese. Interestingly, one of his teammates at São Paulo is called Ganso – which means 'goose'. I'm sure there's a joke in there about flocking, but I've already proved I've got nothing much to do today, so I won't dwell…" 7.01am EST 07:01 6.56am EST 06:56 Basel have rejected a whopping great bid from Wolfsburg for their teenage midfielder Breel Embolo, according to the Swiss club's president. "After considering all the arguments, we decided to grant VFL a rejection without negotiating the economic conditions of the offer," Bernhard Heusler told Sport Bild. "Of course, the deemed VFL's offer very interesting for him, but has accepted the decision of the clubs in a professional and fair manner." More details here, but in the meantime, check out his hair. Basel's Swiss forward Breel Embolo (L) speaks with teammatre Jean-Paul Boetius. Photograph: Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images 6.52am EST 06:52 A few words from last night, and Luis Enrique reckons Neymar is a hop and a skip from renewing his contract at Barcelona. "I believe so, yes, I think he'll end up renewing," said Enrique. So there. 6.46am EST 06:46 Goals of the week? Goals of the week. Featuring this absolute blooter.cosplay wigs The best goals of the week: Ángel Di María, Marco Reus and Jon Toral 6.42am EST 06:42 "The Pato deal is so strange," writes Matt Collins, "but fits into Chelsea's pattern of signing strikers who were until relatively recently before signing thought to be among the best in the world. Eto'o, Pedro, Falcao, now Pato. Do Chelsea see themselves as a home for attacking players with something to prove, sort of a club version of Sam Allardyce?" 6.39am EST 06:39 The hero we need, etc & so on... — Dan Lucas (@DanLucas86) January 27, 2016 @NickMiller79 My favourite bit of that Drogba video is "The heart of a rebel"/*Cut to Nigel Reo Coker* 6.32am EST 06:32 Sky Sports report that Fulham are now willing to sell Moussa Dembélé to Tottenham, but will try to get him back on loan for the rest of the season. Ross McCormack remains a target for Middlesbrough, but it'd be quite surprising if they let both completely go by the end of the month.


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Year of publication
- Lineare Algebra (1)
- Singularity theory (1)
Topologie II (1995)
Primary decomposition of an ideal in a polynomial ring over a field belongs to the indispensable theoretical tools in commutative algebra and algebraic geometry. Geometrically it corresponds to the decomposition of an affine variety into irreducible components and is, therefore, also an important geometric concept.The decomposition of a variety into irreducible components is, however, slightly weaker than the full primary decomposition, since the irreducible components correspond only to the minimal primes of the ideal of the variety, which is a radical ideal. The embedded components, although invisible in the decomposition of the variety itself, are, however, responsible for many geometric properties, in particular, if we deform the variety slightly. Therefore, they cannot be neglected and the knowledge of the full primary decomposition is important also in a geometric context.In contrast to the theoretical importance, one can find in mathematical papers only very few concrete examples of non-trivial primary decompositions because carrying out such a decomposition by hand is almost impossible. This experience corresponds to the fact that providing efficient algorithms for primary decomposition of an ideal I ae K[x1; : : : ; xn], K a field, is also a difficult task and still one of the big challenges for computational algebra and computational algebraic geometry.All known algorithms require Gr"obner bases respectively characteristic sets and multivariate polynomial factorization over some (algebraic or transcendental) extension of the given field K. The first practical algorithm for computing the minimal associated primes is based on characteristic sets and the Ritt-Wu process ([R1], [R2], [Wu], [W]), the first practical and general primary decomposition algorithm was given by Gianni, Trager and Zacharias [GTZ]. New ideas from homological algebra were introduced by Eisenbud, Huneke and Vasconcelos in [EHV]. Recently, Shimoyama and Yokoyama [SY] provided a new algorithm, using Gr"obner bases, to obtain the primary decompositon from the given minimal associated primes.In the present paper we present all four approaches together with some improvements and with detailed comparisons, based upon an analysis of 34 examples using the computer algebra system SINGULAR [GPS]. Since primary decomposition is a fairly complicated task, it is, therefore, best explained by dividing it into several subtasks, in particular, while sometimes only one of these subtasks is needed in practice. The paper is organized in such a way that we consider the subtasks separately and present the different approaches of the above-mentioned authors, with several tricks and improvements incorporated. Some of these improvements and the combination of certain steps from the different algorithms are essential for improving the practical performance.
We prove that there exists a positive \(\alpha\) such thatfor any integer \(\mbox{$d\ge 3$}\) and any topological types \(\mbox{$S_1,\dots,S_n$}\) of plane curve singularities, satisfying \(\mbox{$\mu(S_1)+\dots+\mu(S_n)\le\alpha d^2$}\), there exists a reduced irreducible plane curve of degree \(d\) with exactly \(n\) singular points of types \(\mbox{$S_1,\dots,S_n$}\), respectively. This estimate is optimal with respect to theexponent of \(d\). In particular, we prove that for any topological type \(S\) there exists an irreducible polynomial of degree \(\mbox{$d\le 14\sqrt{\mu(S)}$}\) having a singular point of type \(S\).
We consider the "representation type" of the classification problem of vector bundles on a projective curve. We prove that this problem is always either finite, or tame, or wild and we completely describe those curves which are of finite, resp. tame, vector bundle type. We also give a complete list of indecomposable vector bundles for the finite and tame cases.


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Friday, August 01, 2008
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Sausage and Red Russian Kale Soup with Tomatoes, Chickpeas, and Herbs
|Sausage and Red Russian Kale Soup with Tomatoes, Chickpeas, and Herbs will warm you up!
(Salt Lake is having a few weeks of below freezing temperatures, so a hearty and warming soup like this one seems perfect for A Month of Daily Phase One Recipes. I'm trying to stay upbeat about the broken arm, and some hot soup like this could really help!)
I first made this soup when it snowed in Salt Lake and I was home sick with that coughing thing teachers get each year from being around too many small people with germs. I didn't feel much like cooking, so I was very glad to have soup in the freezer that I'd made in August when my garden was overflowing with Red Russian Kale. In the soup I used Colosimo's Tuscan Sausage, made by a local Utah company, and also added some fresh herbs from my garden. There must be a thousand variations on soups like this with sausage, kale, and beans, but I thought this version was delicious.
I squeezed the sausage out of the casings and browned well before adding it to the soup. Any type of flavorful sausage would work, but turkey sausage of some type is best for the South Beach Diet.
Sausage and Red Russian Kale Soup with Tomatoes, Chickpeas, and Herbs
(Makes about 6 servings, recipe created by Kalyn)
1 large onion, chopped
2-3 tsp. olive oil (depending on your pan)
2 tsp. finely chopped fresh rosemary (or use 1 tsp. dried rosemary, crushed)
3 tsp. finely chopped fresh sage (or use 1 1/2 tsp. dried rubbed sage)
1 T finely minced garlic
12 oz. Colosimo's Tuscan Sausage (3 links) or use other sausage type of your choice; turkey sausage is best for South Beach Diet
10 cups chicken stock (I use homemade chicken stock but you can use canned or bottled chicken broth)
2 cans diced tomatoes with juice (14.5 oz. can)
1/4 cup tomato sauce (freeze the rest if you're opening a can)
1 tsp. Vegeta seasoning (optional, but good in soups like this)
fresh ground black pepper to taste
1 large bunch Red Russian Kale or other type kale, washed well and finely chopped
2 cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), rinsed well (15 oz. can)
freshly grated parmesan for serving (optional)
Printer Friendly Recipe
South Beach Suggestions:
Nutritional Information?
I chose the South Beach Diet to manage my weight partly so I wouldn't have to count calories, carbs, points, or fat grams, but if you want nutritional information for a recipe, I recommend entering the recipe into Calorie Count, which will calculate it for you.
More Ideas for Cooking with Red Russian Kale:
(Recipes from other blogs may not always be South Beach Diet friendly; check ingredients.)
Red Russian Kale and Red Cabbage Slaw
Red Russian Kale and Red Onion Savory Breakfast Squares
Red Kale and Cheese Omelet for Two
Autumn Harvest Soup with Kale, Butternut Squash and Farro
Rustic Red Kale and White Bean Soup from Fat Free Vegan Kitchen
Kale Pesto from I (heart) Kale
Kale Frittata from Too Many Chefs
Kale and Sweet Pea Soup with Mint from She's in the Kitchen
(Find even more Red Russian Kale Recipes with Food Blog Search.)
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Pet Friendly Hotels in Grant Corner, NY
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Imagine starting with one yellow cube and covering it all over with a single layer of red cubes, and then covering that cube with a layer of blue cubes. How many red and blue cubes would you need?
How could Penny, Tom and Matthew work out how many chocolates there are in different sized boxes?
When number pyramids have a sequence on the bottom layer, some interesting patterns emerge...
If you can copy a network without lifting your pen off the paper and without drawing any line twice, then it is traversable. Decide which of these diagrams are traversable.
Imagine an infinitely large sheet of square dotty paper on which you can draw triangles of any size you wish (providing each vertex is on a dot). What areas is it/is it not possible to draw?
How many moves does it take to swap over some red and blue frogs? Do you have a method?
Square numbers can be represented as the sum of consecutive odd numbers. What is the sum of 1 + 3 + ..... + 149 + 151 + 153?
Spotting patterns can be an important first step - explaining why it is appropriate to generalise is the next step, and often the most interesting and important.
Triangular numbers can be represented by a triangular array of squares. What do you notice about the sum of identical triangle numbers?
Rectangles are considered different if they vary in size or have different locations. How many different rectangles can be drawn on a chessboard?
Imagine a large cube made from small red cubes being dropped into a pot of yellow paint. How many of the small cubes will have yellow paint on their faces?
Can you describe this route to infinity? Where will the arrows take you next?
What would be the smallest number of moves needed to move a Knight from a chess set from one corner to the opposite corner of a 99 by 99 square board?
A 2 by 3 rectangle contains 8 squares and a 3 by 4 rectangle contains 20 squares. What size rectangle(s) contain(s) exactly 100 squares? Can you find them all?
What are the areas of these triangles? What do you notice? Can you generalise to other "families" of triangles?
15 = 7 + 8 and 10 = 1 + 2 + 3 + 4. Can you say which numbers can be expressed as the sum of two or more consecutive integers?
Can you dissect a square into: 4, 7, 10, 13... other squares? 6, 9, 12, 15... other squares? 8, 11, 14... other squares?
We can show that (x + 1)² = x² + 2x + 1 by considering the area of an (x + 1) by (x + 1) square. Show in a similar way that (x + 2)² = x² + 4x + 4
A game for 2 players with similarities to NIM. Place one counter on each spot on the games board. Players take it is turns to remove 1 or 2 adjacent counters. The winner picks up the last counter.
Find some examples of pairs of numbers such that their sum is a factor of their product. eg. 4 + 12 = 16 and 4 × 12 = 48 and 16 is a factor of 48.
It's easy to work out the areas of most squares that we meet, but what if they were tilted?
Choose a couple of the sequences. Try to picture how to make the next, and the next, and the next... Can you describe your reasoning?
Make some loops out of regular hexagons. What rules can you discover?
A collection of games on the NIM theme
The Tower of Hanoi is an ancient mathematical challenge. Working on the building blocks may help you to explain the patterns you notice.
Start with any number of counters in any number of piles. 2 players take it in turns to remove any number of counters from a single pile. The loser is the player who takes the last counter.
A game for two people, or play online. Given a target number, say 23, and a range of numbers to choose from, say 1-4, players take it in turns to add to the running total to hit their target.
The triangle OMN has vertices on the axes with whole number co-ordinates. How many points with whole number coordinates are there on the hypotenuse MN?
A game for 2 players
Euler discussed whether or not it was possible to stroll around Koenigsberg crossing each of its seven bridges exactly once. Experiment with different numbers of islands and bridges.
A game for 2 players. Set out 16 counters in rows of 1,3,5 and 7. Players take turns to remove any number of counters from a row. The player left with the last counter looses.
Do you notice anything about the solutions when you add and/or subtract consecutive negative numbers?
Can you explain the strategy for winning this game with any target?
Take a look at the multiplication square. The first eleven triangle numbers have been identified. Can you see a pattern? Does the pattern continue?
Jo made a cube from some smaller cubes, painted some of the faces of the large cube, and then took it apart again. 45 small cubes had no paint on them at all. How many small cubes did Jo use?
Nim-7 game for an adult and child. Who will be the one to take the last counter?
Got It game for an adult and child. How can you play so that you know you will always win?
This article for teachers describes several games, found on the site, all of which have a related structure that can be used to develop the skills of strategic planning.
Draw a square. A second square of the same size slides around the first always maintaining contact and keeping the same orientation. How far does the dot travel?
A little bit of algebra explains this 'magic'. Ask a friend to pick 3 consecutive numbers and to tell you a multiple of 3. Then ask them to add the four numbers and multiply by 67, and to tell you. . . .
It starts quite simple but great opportunities for number discoveries and patterns!
Charlie has made a Magic V. Can you use his example to make some more? And how about Magic Ls, Ns and Ws?
With one cut a piece of card 16 cm by 9 cm can be made into two pieces which can be rearranged to form a square 12 cm by 12 cm. Explain how this can be done.
You can work out the number someone else is thinking of as follows. Ask a friend to think of any natural number less than 100. Then ask them to tell you the remainders when this number is divided by. . . .
Delight your friends with this cunning trick! Can you explain how it works?
In how many ways can you arrange three dice side by side on a surface so that the sum of the numbers on each of the four faces (top, bottom, front and back) is equal?
This task encourages you to investigate the number of edging pieces and panes in different sized windows.
Can you work out how to win this game of Nim? Does it matter if you go first or second?
To avoid losing think of another very well known game where the patterns of play are similar.
An article for teachers and pupils that encourages you to look at the mathematical properties of similar games.


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BMW 528i Overheating
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BMW 528i Overheating Repair Symptoms
When the radiator fans stop functioning properly, the engine temperature will rise. The spike in temperature will be highest when the vehicle is idling at a stop, but should sub...Read More
A failing radiator can cause the engine to run hot or overheat. Most radiators are made of metal and plastic. The plastic parts can become brittle and crack over time, causing a...Read More
The bad thermostat can cause two different sets of problems, depending on whether it's stuck open or stuck closed. A thermostat that is stuck open can cause the engine to run c...Read More
The two most common signs of a bad pump are leaks and noises. Leaking water pumps can result in damage to the drive and timing belts, and cause the engine to overheat. A failed...Read More
If the fan motor does not work, there will not be enough air movement through the radiator to dissipate the heat in the coolant. The symptom usually associated with a faulty fan...Read More
A coolant leak may be noted from the hoses. Coolant hoses can be damaged by oil leaks, or age. This will lead to swelling or cracking, it is suggested to replace the hoses befor...Read More
Common symptoms of a coolant leak include: The engine runs hotter than normal, or overheats You see a puddle of coolant under the car, or on parts under the hood You notice...Read More


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Museum Mounting Board Acid Free
by Strathmore
Successfully challenges the effects of time as well as the environment upon valued works of art. Made of 100% cotton fibers, it is made acid-free and buffered with calcium carbonate to guarantee longevity. The surface is designed to deliver a smoother, cleaner cut. The colors are solid throughout the board and rated at 80 hours tested fade. Available in two ply (.0129 in. + / - .0015 in.) and four ply (.0610 in. + / - .0030 in.) thickness. Acid-free. 32 in. x 40 in.
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Bedroom Decorating Ideas: From Arty to Exotic
Create your bedroom from the stuff of dreams
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Exotica Inspires a Great-Escape Bedroom
As the most personal space in the home, it's only natural that bedrooms are designed as the stuff of dreams. The most interesting bedrooms express the passions of the homeowners, from art to travel. A whiff of exotica emanates from this Asian-inspired master bedroom in a Hamptons home, reflecting both the owner's fascination with the Far East and and her youthful edginess. As the largest furnishing and a natural focal point, the lacquered decoupage-and-bamboo stair-step shaped bed boldly declares the exotic theme. The bedside table is a Chinese antique.
Interior design: Marshall Watson
Master Bedroom's Oriental Style Exudes Comfort
An Oriental influence is apparent in the master bedroom's pair of Asian barrel stools. They sidle up to two tufted leather club chairs pulled up to the fireplace in a cozy arrangement. "Deep comfort and relaxation were the goals, with lush upholstered seating," says interior designer Marshall Watson. The small Asian chair in the middle is an antique.
Interior design: Marshall Watson
Balinese Bedroom Style
You don't have to move to Bali to capture the exotic island look in your bedroom. A 19th-century opium bed airily dressed in a simple white canopy with curtains tied back to the bedposts establishes the South Pacific style of jewelry designer Carolyn Tyler. Lavender terrazzo floors splash the pastel jewel tone underfoot. The oversize tiles also offer a starkly simple counterpoint to the intricate carving of the bed.
Designing a South Pacific Slumber Party
When guests sleep over, transport them with the same aesthetic that sets you to dreaming. Jewelry designer Carolyn Tyler outfitted her atelier with a carved teak daybed dressed in gauzy white tie-back curtains and piles of soothing sea-colored pillows. The beauty of this daybed is it's not only a stunning support when guests pop in, but its South Sea style is also a constant source of inspiration for the homeowner even when she's alone.
Sleek & Edgy Room to Sleep
Like minnows shadowing whales, small, crinkly gold silk bolsters pair up in front of a duo of jumbo bolsters covered in linen on the bed. That's just the beginning of the textural mix and assertive juxtaposition of scale that informs this master bedroom with cutting-edge interest. Above the upholstered custom headboard, which bristles with the look of a rough, natural fiber, marches the room's pièce de résistance: a shadow-boxed set of seven rubber duckies, whose tiny scale offsets the bed's bulk. A fun fur throw performs a touch-me finale.
Interior design: Tommy Chambers
Jewel Color, Antiques, and Folk Art Inspire Sensational Sleep
Ruby red paint on the walls invokes the sultry mood that characterizes this guest bedroom's invitation to escape. Handcarved Balinese doors painted green are the portal to a distant time and place. An antique tribal rug, a carved wooden bench, and a four-poster bed canopied in romantic white lace each contribute the room's unique charm.
Worldly, Restful Bedroom Design
A well-traveled homeowner—even the armchair variety—enjoys surrounding herself with reminders of the cultures she admires most. This London bedroom in a 17th-century Regency home synthesizes worldwide influences, just as an aristocrat's home in the period would have done. A Murano mirror provides girlie glam and the romance of Venice above the black-veined white marble mantel. A new silver-gilt four-poster bed with a clean, upholstered headboard is classic style with a modern twist, crafted in South Africa. The authentic Regency bench at the foot of the bed is dressed casually youthful in ticking fabric. A striped faux fur throw and a wooly white area rug on the silvery silk carpet complete a style that's more than genteel sophistication, adding just a hint of hip.
Interior design: Graham Viney
Decorating a Bedroom in Safari Swaddling
Ever since Isak Dinesen's "Out of Africa" was adapted for the big screen, a fascination with the comforts and accoutrements in the continent's colonial habitats has abided and gained momentum. Short of a well-set high tea on the veldt, nothing evokes the idea of Africa's taming by the English and Europeans more than this image: frothy white bed curtains or mosquito netting that can be drawn tightly shut at night. This beautifully pale, tone-on-tone bedroom could be in Nashville or Nairobi. Its mood is African, but its design is universal.
Interior design: Theresa Alexander
Rustic and Restful Bedroom
Imagine sleeping the night away in a your own bedroom on Spain's idyllic island, Majorca. This room is the real deal. The hardy iron bed pays homage to Spanish style; the tabbed striped bed curtains are island-casual; and the rest of the room is a melting pot of collections of art and antiques. "I think a fusion of old and new—a touch of understated grandeur combined with homely comfort—works best in these simply country houses," says homeowner Holger Stewen
Interior design: Holger Stewen
Homey French Farmhouse Bedroom
In the hills of western Provence, on 14 acres of fertile, undulating land, an Atlanta couple celebrate life all over again each morning when they awake in their 1748 farmhouse bedroom. The joie de vivre the bedroom imparts is understated when compared to some American counterparts. (Yards of toile, but not oodles!) But it's not because the owners enlisted the services of a French designer. They called on someone from their hometown, who also had recently renovated a farmhouse in Provence. With a mix of modern furnishings and antiques, the designer ultimately brought a casual comfort to the farmhouse appropriate to its origins and to its meticulous restoration by French architects.
Interior design: Ginny Magher
Spirited Texas Sleep-in
A touch-me-this-minute custom alpaca bedspread is the first thing to draw the eye in the master bedroom of this Texas designer's home. But not for long. Soon it's traveling to the art on the wall—an en masse quartet by home-grown artists; to the cowhide rug on the floor; and on to the barley-twist bench with the wonderfully worn leather in one of those "complex" colors the owner loves, at the foot the bed. The combination of pure Texas elements (one look at that bench and think: Giant), the nicely curated local art, and the owner's idiosyncratic panache give the bedroom a distinct Texas voice that's still one-of-a-kind.
Interior design: Fern Santini
Sleep, Serenity, and the Souk
Cheerful flower colors of rose and daffodil establish a happy ambience in this bedroom. Their effect is intensified by their dramatic presentation on the long, tufted headboard and the long, tufted bench at the foot of the bed. But despite the playful colors, both of which are brought to the wall in a hand-printed wallpaper that swathes the sleeping niche, the ambience is somehow serene, even a little monastic. Part of this is due to the pencil-thin modern steel poster bed, a low-impact item. But more contemplative elements are the millwork at the bedroom's entrance—beautiful millwork on the bi-fold glass doors and the graphic shapes in wood on the window above. That, and the fact that this residence is a converted nunnery in downtown Beirut, not far from the bustling "souk" open marketplaces. Get the look with a little architectural embellishment, happy hues, and old-style floor tiles.
Architecture and interior design: Annabel Karim Kassar
Let There Be Art in the Bedroom
California decorator Lynn von Kersting has a bold style that can be boiled down to bright colors splashed across an audacious mix of patterns, and an eclectic assemblage of art and art objects—the more arcane, the more interesting. Her designs are never dull. This bedroom of clients who were hundreds of miles away, in Minneapolis, is proof. Though it was a long-distance design delivery, nothing seems diluted. While putting the client's interests forward, the room's daredevil exuberance is classic von Kersting.
Interior design: Lynn von Kersting
Masks and Dots = Master Bedroom's Mojo
This master bedroom is an escape to the soothing side of artful edginess. The palette is multifarious but limited to low-key shades of terra-cotta, gray, slate and beige that are easy on the eye. The duvette cover makes the boldest statement with its field of oversize polka dots that play out the palette. A crazy-quilt-style fabric on both the wing chairs and the bed's decorative pillows scores style points with a geometric motif that's all sharp angles and hard edges, counterbalancing the round polka dots. A collection of good art keeps the space interesting. The most personal touch, and the one that sets the room's mojo in motion, is the trio of lacquered Asian mask scaling the bedside wall.
Tip: Whatever your passion for art or collections, indulge it in your master bedroom. It will energize and personalize your room to make it the ultimate retreat.
Interior design: Kazumi Yoshida
Asian-Inspired Bedroom
Personalizing your bedroom with expressions of yourself—your favorite artworks, evidence of your travels, your design proclivities—is relatively easy when it's just one person's life put under the microscope and projected in an interior. What about when there are two, as is usually the case? This Beverly Hills home's master bedroom beautifully curates the strong preferences of both partners. For her, there is Asian inspiration (note the bedside table and bedding), and for him, an homage to his beloved Art Deco design (see the bed).
Interior design: Kim Alexandriuk
Marrying Tastes in the Bedroom
Congratulations! Designer Kim Alexandriuk made partners of differing tastes each feel entirely validated in their master bedroom. In the room's sitting area, she included an 18th-century English chinoiserie cabinet and Russian Empire desk chair to honor the female client's love of Old Worth artistry. For the male, an aficionado of Deco design, she furnished the conversation area with a bronze Deco coffee table.
Tip: Call it common sense, but blending the personal tastes of each homeowner in the master bedroom is important to sustaining a harmonious relationship.
Interior design: Kim Alexandriuk
More Bedroom Decorating Ideas
Enjoy sweet dreams by employing ideas from this presentation on Serene Bedrooms.


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When the Philadelphia Phillies come to Nationals Park, the clowns usually follow, and Wednesday night will be no exception.
The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus hits town this week with a 17-show run beginning Thursday at the Patriot Center. To kick off the festivities, the troupe will be in attendance tomorrow night as the Nationals take on Roy Halladay and the Phillies.
The Ringmaster will sing the national anthem, and Ringling's famous circus clowns will take on George, Tom, Abe, and Teddy in the 4th-inning presidents race.
Let's hope Teddy doesn't find the clowns too distracting.
Filed under: Presidents Race | Tagged: Clown, Philadelphia Phillies, ringling bros, ringling brothers, Roy Halladay | 1 Comment »


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Airbrush Restorer
by Createx
Safely dissolves hardened and dried paint Restores rubber O-rings and Teflon packing. Submerse the airbrush or airbrush parts completely in restorer for 1 to 2 hours to totally dissolve dried color. Rinse parts and spray water through airbrush before use or storage.
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K. Z. from Ann Arbor, MI says:
This will clean "gunk" out of your airbrush that you didn't know was there! Even with regular cleaning, a good 2 hour soak in this fluid will get your brush running much better. They mean business about...[more]
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Fantastic Vent Hoods
Vent hoods are vital with today's high-powered ranges and cooktops, pulling hot air and odors out of your kitchen. They also can play a major style role, serving as a room's stunning focal point or defining a cooking zone.
Basically a ventilation system uses a powerful fan to deliver hot air, moisture, odors, and carbon monoxide to the outdoors via a duct, making your kitchen a safer and more pleasant place to be. Most systems have removable filters that catch grease and particles that could build up in a duct system and lead to fires. A hood should be at least the same width as your cooking surface, according to the Home Ventilating Institute, and mounted 18 to 30 inches above the burners.
Now that you know practical fan basics, take a look at some custom and semicustom hood designs that are simply fantastic.
Traditional white beadboard covers the face of this vent hood, complementing the kitchen's clean blue-and-white palette. The classic pattern blends into the ceiling above, wrapping the entire room in simple lines and crisp white.
Photograph: Francesco Lagnese
Producer: Pamela Abrahams
A custom vent hood by Babcock Metal Works looks industrial with bold rivets along the seams and a hard-working Wolf range below. The cabinets' steely blue hue helps the stainless steel vent hood harmonize with the rest of the space, which is grounded by neutral stone tiles.
Photograph: Emily Followill
Producer: Lisa Mowry
Kitchen design: Design Galleria
Textural elements play in this stunning kitchen, designed by Tish Key for the San Francisco Decorator Showcase. The oversized marble mosaic Waterworks clock with metal hands serves as a dramatic, moving eye-catcher under the kitchen range's existing large brick hood. Black marble countertops and dark wood floors contrasted with cabinets painted in Benjamin Moore's "Super White."
Interior designer: Tish Key
Photograph: Philip Harvey
Producer: Heather Lobdell
Polished stainless steel makes a modern impact in this beautiful white kitchen. The stainless steel of the custom vent hood extends down to the countertops, transforming the entire range into one cohesive area. A marble backsplash cascades down to the range, cleverly concealing a spice rack behind its panels.
"A custom-designed hood is a relatively small financial investment compared to the visual return it can provide," says designer Mick De Giulio. "A unique hood creates an artful composition around the cooking area."
Kitchen designer: Mick De Giulio
Photograph: Werner Straube
Producer: Hilary Rose
In an Arizona home, a griffin motif picked up from an inset tile on the backsplash was enlarged and painted on the hood by decorative painter Karen Bennett. The mythical creature holds a golf club, reflecting a passion of the homeowners.
Photograph by Colleen Duffley
Produced by Barbara Mundall
A French La Cornue range with a coordinating hood and metal cabinets was chosen by Chicago kitchen designer Mick De Giulio for this Chicago condo kitchen. The nickel-silver countertops flanking the range will develop a beautiful patina over time.
Photograph by James Yochum
Produced by Gisela Rose
Symmetry is the story in this Chicago condo kitchen, which was shown in detail on the previous page. The French La Cornue range has a coordinating metal hood and cabinets, which inspired the room's European style. The metal shelves flanking the hood were designed by Chicago kitchen designer Mick De Giulio.
Photograph by James Yochum
Produced by Gisela Rose
A simple mantel hood in the Atlanta home of designer Dan Carithers displays old creamware pitchers. Brown transferware plates hanging on the backsplash and in a small storage niche add cottage charm.
Photograph by James Yochum
Produced by Gisela Rose
The focal point of this Maryland kitchen is the stucco-and-copper range hood and tiled backsplash. Although the house is new, it feels like an old manor house thanks to salvaged beams, stucco finishes, and the copper vent hood, which was treated with acid for an aged look.
Photograph by Gordon Beall
Produced by Eileen Deymier
The copper on the range hood (overview of the room shown on previous slide) was treated with an acid to give it the look of an aged standing-seam roof. Designer and homeowner Mary Jo Donohoe trimmed the hood with decorative metal hardware that also has an aged finish. A ram's head mounted front-and-center is the final flourish.
Photograph by Gordon Beall
Produced by Eileen Deymier
A custom-designed black-metal hood with nickel bands hangs above a pressed-tin backsplash made with tin ceiling panels, giving this new kitchen period charm.
Photograph by Tria Giovan
Produced by Bonnie Maharam
A six-foot-long European-inspired range hood made with KraftMaid cabinetry defines the cooking wall in a Traditional Home showcase kitchen designed by Robert Young and Indianapolis certified kitchen designer Janice Pattee for the National Kitchen and Bath Show. The glass mosaic-tile backsplash is from Walker-Zanger.
Photograph by Michal Venera
Produced by Robert Young
Colorful MacKenzie-Childs tiles are inset into classic subway tile above the range, setting a green and soft-white color scheme for this Indianapolis kitchen by Atlanta-based designer Suzanne Kasler and Indianapolis kitchen designer Kristen Okeley. The hood is a custom design built to match the cabinetry.
Photograph by Tria Giovan
Produced by Betsy Harris
A neutral color scheme in this cozy California kitchen is accented by decorative tiles on the range backsplash and an etched pewter panel inset on the front of the vent hood. The wood frame on the hood matches the ivory cabinets, which are softened with a subtle glaze.
Photograph by Michal Venera
Produced by Sarah Alba
A chimney hood made with KraftMaid Cabinetry is showcased against a wall of two-tone ceramic tile from Country Floors. The kitchen was designed by Atlanta designer Barbara Westbrook for a Traditional Home Built for Women III Showhouse in Woodstock, Georgia.
Photograph by Bruce Buck
Produced by Robert Young
A simple and functional steel box hood is appropriate for the home of Los Angeles chefs and culinary personalities Suzanne Goin and David Lentz. A stone backsplash in warm gray tones and pale sage cabinets visually counteract the visual coolness of the stainless steel, says architect William Hefner.
Photograph by Michal Venera
Produced by Robert Young
The vent for the stove is nearly hidden above shelves behind the range. The marble-lined niche backsplash offers a place to display collectibles and keep bottles of oil and seasonings handy when cooking.
Photograph by Michael Luppino
Produced by Stacy Kunstel
A graceful arch and mantel-style cabinetry above the range create a dramatic focal point in this Connecticut kitchen designed by Louise Brooks. The architectural designer incorporated clever storage features in the hood surround, including counter-level niches on each side of the range and small cupboards above the mantel.
Photograph by Tria Giovan
Produced by Bonnie Maharam
Practical stainless steel is scalloped for a dressy waterfall effect on the vent hood in this traditional Texas kitchen. The hood was custom designed by the Met Company, a Houston, Texas, metal fabricator (metcompany.net).
Photograph by John Granen
Produced by Susan Fox
Caribbean-inspired, wide louvered panels that repeat those on the adjoining cabinets conceal the hood in this Southern California kitchen. The house is located close to the beach and the homeowners wanted it to have a casual beach style.
Photograph by Edmund Barr
Produced by Andrea Caughey
When a classical colonial home was renovated, the kitchen work area was relocated to the center of the house, adjacent to a family room. Because the kitchen is now a primary living area, the homeowners downplayed the vent hood with a furniture-like mantel treatment above the range and a casually elegant mosaic tile backsplash in subtle caramel tones.
Photograph by John Bessler
Produced by Jenny Bradley
White plaster panels on the range hood are trimmed with a wood mantel, echoing the stately 1920s Tudor-style home's timber-and-plaster construction. The range's tiled backsplash features sliding panels for storing spices and oils, a clever storage feature designed by Chicago kitchen designer Mick De Giulio.
Photograph by Gordon Beall
Produced by Mary Anne Thomson
A range with a mantel-style hood supported by carved brackets is this Indianapolis kitchen's focal point. The mosaic tile backsplash features a niche for storing oils and seasonings.
Photograph by Tria Giovan
Produced by Betsy Harris
In keeping with the stucco exterior of the 18th-century French country home, the vent hood is encased in a tapered, plaster chimney, which draws the eye upward to the rugged beamed ceiling. Crisp white crown molding outlines the hood base and ties in with shelves on each side of the hood. Glazed tiles on the backsplash wall speak to the kitchen's farmhouse simplicity.
Photograph by Andreas Von Einsiedel
A rustic adobe-style plaster hood with a scalloped edge honors the architecture of this classic New Mexican house. The whimsical trim design repeats the scallop at the base of the sink cabinets.
Photograph by James Carriere
Produced by Sarah Alba
A decorative horse's head from an old butcher's shop sign commands attention in this renovated Oklahoma kitchen. An old iron fireback was put to new use as the range backsplash.
Photograph by Jenifer Jordan
Hand-plastered walls and a salvaged beam lintel define the cooking niche, giving this new home a cozy, period look. The black La Cornue range references wrought iron used elsewhere in the Arizona home. The stucco and tile backsplash, the arch over the range, and the brick barrel-vaulted ceiling also echo elements throughout the home.
Photograph by Colleen Duffley
Produced by Barbara Mundall


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by jtai on November 16, 2019
To date, Screameleons maintains a 100% Live Arrival Success Rate. Not too many can make this claim. By using only the best packaging materials and shipping methods, we have been able to safely deliver our panther chameleons to our customers.
You get one of the longest guarantees of any chameleon breeder. We offer Live Arrival Guarantee, in addition to a 10 Day Health Guarantee. If you order a panther chameleon plus our Ultimate Setup Kit, you get a generous 30 Day Health Guarantee!
Call us toll-free at (888) 486-5552 or email us at email@example.com. You will not find a breeder that responds faster than Screameleons. Our before and after the sale support are unmatched. Contact us today to see how fast we respond!