text:
Doctors, some of them from the top pediatric hospitals, have begun to advise families to let these children be "who they are" to foster a sense of security and self-esteem. They are motivated, in part, by the high incidence of depression, suicidal feelings and self-mutilation that has been common in past generations of transgender children. Legal trends suggest that schools are now required to respect parents' decisions....And then there are the parents who think they ought to give hormone treatments to young tomboy girls on the theory that they need to be spared the shocking evidence of femininity that is menstruation.
Cassandra Reese, a first-grade teacher outside Boston, recalled that fellow teachers were unnerved when a young boy showed up in a skirt. "They said, 'This is not normal,' and, 'It's the parents' fault,' " Ms. Reese said. "They didn't see children as sophisticated enough to verbalize their feelings."
December 2, 2006
So your 5-year-old boy wants to dress like a girl....
67 comments:
- Joseph said...
I hear some parents are letting girls wear pants now too.
"Legal trends suggest that schools are now required to respect parents' decisions..."
Schools are going to court to force parents to dress their kids differently?
My concern is for the little boy (5 is little) who goes to school in the dress. I would NOT want to be him. Our culture is not even a little flexible about male gender roles and expectations, the other children will not be kind and understanding about this. Heck many of the adults will freak out all over him.
It reminds me of gay clients that discuss coming out. My counsel is that they have real peace about the decision because there are people in their life that will not take it well. And it will hurt.
Should a boy have a right to dress in a skirt? Of course! Will he have a good experience if he does it? Not bloody likely.
- Paddy O said...
Too bad he's not Scottish. Everyone could be happy.
His parents should buy him a utilikilt.
My guess is the school will go to standard school uniforms over the next couple of years, thus mandating clothes for all the parents, and completely dodging the issue.
- Bissage said...
Is that the right link?
- AllenS said...
You pull his pants down, and paddle his ass. Or, you lift his dress up, and paddle his ass. Now I'm confused.
WV: ckwqg
Meaning: You're not wearing that to school, either.
- Bissage said...
Maybe it's best he get it out of his system while there's still time.
(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
- The Drill SGT said...
I like the Kilt choice to buy the kid some time.
Seriously though, as posters have noted, the kid ought to be allowed to wear a dress, but life will be HELL.
and no, the school, should not harshly punish kids for naturally making fun of him.
and no, the parents should not be allowed to sue the school for its inability to completely protect the kid from being harassed
- Ann Althouse said...
Sorry about the bad link. Fixed.
- Zeb Quinn said...
This is what's known as synchronicity. My 5-year old grandaughter, who lives with me, came home from kindergarten earlier this week and said to me, "Grandpa, is it okay if I call Andrew a mama's boy?" Andrew being a boy in her class who suffers a little separation anxiety each morning when his mother drops him off, something other kids in the class have noted, hence this name-calling. The girls are particularly hard on Andrew. I told her no, that it's not okay, and that it wasn't nice. Then I was going to ask her how she would like being called a ____, but I couldn't come up with the equivalent name and concept for a little girl to be called. So I left it at that.
But the larger point is that schoolchildren, even kindergartners, have it well within their power to inflict pain upon kids who behave differently. So I'm wondering which is worse for a child: damage to his self-esteem if he isn't allowed to express himself as he is, or the punishment that the group will inflict upon his little psyche when he does.
So what is the exit strategy?
Do the parents and their psychologist ever intend to end this sexual charade? Or once puberty hits do they intend to have a sex change performed?
Worse, lets assume this is a 'phase' and the child comes to his senses in a year or two and now wants to go back to being a boy. Will he forever be known at school as the kid who used to dress like a girl? Talk about being a social outcast. I suppose they could always file a law suit to force the other children to accept their he/she, right?
I have a hard time accepting that these parents have ever disciplined this child, if their response to his wearing a dress is to give in. The idea that the parents are in control was probably never established.
It is one thing for an adult to decide that they are a women trapped in a man's body, quite another to allow a 3 year old to decide the same thing. If they can't get their child to accept the social convention of proper sexual dress, what other social conventions are they going to allow to slide?
At what point do parents no longer give in the whims of childish behavior?
Dr. Schreier is one of a growing number of professionals who have begun to think of gender variance as a naturally occurring phenomenon rather than a disorder.
How can "gender variance" not be a disorder? The kids are miserable about their own bodies. How could such deep psychological distress be in anyway considered normal and natural?
I think this is a very dangerous path, declaring that obviously disordered psychology is "just another variant" in order to spare more feelings.
What we need to address are the social stigmas attached to such disorders, but not by reclassifying them as "normal variants." Are we going to say that depression is a "normal variant" so that depressives can feel that they fit in better? A far bigger percentage of the population suffers from depression -- one could actually construct an argument that depression is a normal variant.
I understand that the establishment has kind motivations, but by redefining gender confusion this way they're moving the goalposts. I don't understand why a child so young should be so focused on his gender anyway. "It's like a nightmare I'm a boy," from a five-year-old? Why are the parents allowing him to dwell on this topic when it's completely irrelevant at this point in his life? If the kid can't let it go and focus on more age-appropriately important things (like Legos or My Little Pony or whatever), then that is a problem that could be dealt with -- obsessive concern is disordered in such a young child. And if your boy wants to play with Barbie, so what?
When I was 9 I asked for a toolbox for Christmas, and I despised girly-girl stuff (my own daughter is something of a mystery to me since she enjoys all of it immensely.) I didn't enjoy many "girlie" activities so I didn't participate in them, but it never occurred to me that I should despise the fact that I was a girl. Today, no one even raises an eyebrow over boys with dolls or girls with trucks. Kids should be able to be happy with who they are, but defining their happiness by they way they dress and style their hair is being ridiculously narrow. Lots of toddler boys want to wear sparkly sandals and pretty things, to dress up. I know this freaks some parents out but dress-up is a game that nearly every kid enjoys. The teaching moment comes later: Where we live, men and boys don't wear those clothes. In other parts of the world, men do wear things like dresses... Aculturation is a process that should start very early.
And parents who chemically stave off puberty aren't doing their kids any favors, either.
- Simon said...
Paddy O. said...
"Too bad he's not Scottish. Everyone could be happy. His parents should buy him a utilikilt.
Dude! That's awesome! Of course, if shorts fall afoul of the Althausian fatwa on male legs being uncovered, surely so must a kilt, a fortiori.
"My guess is the school will go to standard school uniforms over the next couple of years, thus mandating clothes for all the parents, and completely dodging the issue."
That's probably a very good idea, on many different levels. I continue to maintain that school uniforms have several practical and psychological benefits, both for the schools and pupils.
In terms of the story, this is borderline child abuse. It's one thing to be fairly latitudinarian with your kids' fleeting desires, but it's bad parenting to say "yes" to their every whim, and it's even worse parenting to say "yes - and moreover, how can I aid and abet you in this endeavour?"
- bill said...
Paddy O. said...
"Too bad he's not Scottish. Everyone could be happy. His parents should buy him a utilikilt.
Simon said: Dude! That's awesome! Of course, if shorts fall afoul of the Althausian fatwa on male legs being uncovered, surely so must a kilt, a fortiori.
Solution: kilt with leg warmers. I think everyone could respect that.
- Simon said...
Joan said...
"How can "gender variance" not be a disorder? The kids are miserable about their own bodies"
I would suggest that they are miserable, period, and have simply attatched to a convenient vehicle for that depression. In other words, the unhappiness with their bodies is a symptom, not itself the problem. The same may go for transsexuality, although that may be a far-more deeply-rooted psychosis. Or perhaps, if we are inventing neologisms this week, "narcichosis".
- altoids1306 said...
Parents should be allowed to do nearly whatever they want with their kids.
Hopefully, the parents will actually prepare their kids for the realities of life, but I guess it's up to them.
I've had a five year old. I'll have another one in two years.
They want to eat worms, and play with matches, and wander around in the road, and jump off the roof into the snowbanks a light dusting provides. They want candy bars for breakfast and cereal in seafood restaurants. They think a fat man in a leather suit will wriggle down the chimney and give them stuff. No, not Elvis. Santa.
I'm beginning to think there aren't many adults in the world. There are just houses filled with various kinds of little children. Some have drivers licenses and some have tonka trucks. But no one's in charge, particularly.
In God We Trust was a big, vague slogan for the old US. In a way, it has no import, other than: Life has meaning. It's obverse is the Keynesian: In the long run we are all dead. It's been grossly mischaracterized as some sort of wild-eyed dogmatic religionism, but it really just fights the ennui of Who gives a sh*t? sort of thinking.
I suggest we change it to: The US. Whatever!
- Beau said...
If the child is truly transgendered why not allow him/her to wear androgynous clothes so as not to stand out either way? These kids just long to look normal while not being forced to identify with the aspects of the gender they know they are not.
- Richard Dolan said...
There are a lot of agendas in play in this story, and few of them have anything to do with this kid. Is a 5 year old boy who wants to wear a dress (a) just engaging in a whim, (b) entranced with the fantasy of it all, (c) looking to "stand out" however he can, (d) doing it for Mommy (who is really nuts), (e) expressing "gender confusion" or even identification with the other gender, (f) in the throes of some deep-seated psychosis, or (g) fill in your favorite psycho-babble explanation here.
Who knows. I think Joan gets it right when she says that "declaring that obviously disordered psychology is 'just another variant' in order to spare more feelings." The only thing that's for sure is that someone in this story is really screwed up. Most seem to assume tht it's the 5 year old. But I suspect it's more likely to be one of the adults.
- Fitz said...
Joan (& company)
"Dr. Schreier is one of a growing number of professionals who have begun"
This type of statement should read - "we are a small band of radical professionals who say the kind of B.S. that's sure to get us headlines"
"we are a small group of professionals who know that our approach will endear the homosexual & feminist communities (& ergo the left academic establishment) toward us – and therefore forward x,y, or z- bad science and healthcare"
"We arte monsters who want to experiment on children"
If you are not all aware of this case, you should familiarize yourselves with it.
(just because people have white lab coats and Ph.D's doesn't make them objective or humane)
- Daryl Herbert said...
It's good that the parents want to help her now. Wanting to wear a dress--really wanting to wear one--and identifying as a girl are not normal 5-year-old behaviors. This is much more than a whim. If your 5-year-old boy asks to wear a dress, you should say "no." If your boy asks every day for a year, something is up that goes beyond whimsy.
The behaviors are not a simple "disorder" that can be cured with drugs, therapy, or "paddl[ing]" either.
Gender identity is a closely held thing. Ask any normal 5-year-old whether they are a boy or a girl, and they will be able to tell you, with quite some certainty. There's no confusion there. You can try to talk them out of it, but you won't get very far!
I would not even say that the child in this case is "confused." She knows, with great certainty, that she is a female.
This isn't about "tomboy[s]" or fairies (tough girls or gaywad boys). Children who identify with the opposite gender are different cases entirely.
Of course this girl will have a tough childhood. That's true whether she gets to wear a dress or ends up with a strict Christer father who beats her for being a sissy.
It's good that these parents are brave enough to defy the idiots around them. If I had kids, I would feel the same way about protecting their interests, even if people thought I was a douchebag for it. Or even, god forbid, speculated about my values or mental health on blog comments.
- I'm Full of Soup said...
In a country with 300 million people, there are gonna be at least a few whackjob parents. And this set is Exhibit A.
That said, I guess the teachers should try not to interfere but the poor kid can never outlive the ridicule and infamy.
- Joseph said...
Richard Dolan: I agree there are lots of mixed motives at work in these cases, but you left out the mixed motives behind the education professionals who are apparently making a big deal out of whether this or that kid fits what they expect a boy or girl to look and dress like.
Kids want to fit in and they want to stand out and they just want to be themselves and mostly they just do what they're allowed to do. Parents much more often try to force their kids to fit in to their detriment than force their kids to stand out too much. In my opinion, kids are much more likely to grow up with emotional problems if they are too afraid of being made fun of to stand out as different than if they get made fun of for being different. All kids get made fun of for being different in some way, whether its for acting like the "wrong" gender, being of mixed race, getting good grades, or having a learning disability.
An acquaintance once told me she wouldn't marry someone of a different race because life would be too hard for the mixed race kid. I'm sure she thought she was being noble in some way, but I thought it reflected terribly on her character. I don't think parents of boys who like to wear dresses should encourage them to be different, but nor do I think parents or teachers should make a big deal over it either. The kid will probably decide that being socially acceptable is more important than wearing the dress, but barring him from doing it in the first place seems to be sending the kid a bad message in my opinion.
- This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
- Daryl Herbert said...
I would encourage everyone to read the link that Fitz posted.
It shows the exact opposite of what he thinks.
It's about a boy with a botched circumcision. Doctors decided to raise him as a female. Surprise, surprise, when he was old enough to figure things out (about, say, five), he insisted that he was a boy.
He wanted to do boy things at the time and he wanted to be a man when he grew up. He knew. He was insistent.
Just like the girl in the article Ann posted.
The difference is, he was miserable because of it for his entire childhood and even into his adulthood, before he transitioned back to being a man.
Gender identity is very deep-seated in children's brains. The article Fitz posted shows that people should not try to change gender identity in a child's brain. In this case, that means letting the girl be a girl, even if she has a penis.
The idea that scientists could change a child's gender identity used to be a staple of liberal bullshit. It was part and parcel of their ideology that human nature is entirely socially constructed and therefore people could be remade in the image of the new man. Every thoughtful person should recognize that kind of liberalism and rebel against it, violently.
Equally stupid is the conservative idea that there's Adam and Eve, and everything else is a psychological degenerate who can be cured with therapy (biblical inerrancy + pop psychology). That's how conservatives used to treat gays for the longest time (and still do!)
Enough with the ideologies. Let the scientists sort things out. Dr. Money was a terrible fellow, but we can look at his results and use that information to handle these cases the right way in the future.
We should treat these children as individual human beings, not pawns in some giant ideological struggle between those who think human nature is plastic and those who think there are only three possible identities (straight man, straight woman, abomination)
- Simon said...
Daryl Herbert said...
"The behaviors [of transexuality] are not a simple 'disorder' that can be cured with drugs, therapy, or 'paddl[ing]' either."
Deep rooted psychosis may not be a "simple" disorder, but it is a disorder, none-the-less, and it should be treated as such. It is a mystery to me why there are people in this country who can urge, with a straight face, a treatment to a disorder wholly comparable to treating an alcoholic with an open bar. But that isn't at issue here, because we are talking about a child - even referring to a five year old as a minor seems to exaggerate his maturity. Thus:
"I would not even say that the child in this case is confused." She knows, with great certainty, that she is a female."
He. He thinks that he wants to wear a skirt. He may, also, "think" that he is a female, an illusion that should disappear with the onset of puberty. And yes, of course this boy "will have a tough childhood," if his parents indulge this nonsense. If this child thought - with total certainty - that he was a transformer, would you urge the parents to start feeding him oil and energon, Daryl? If he declared he was a dog, would you buy him kibble and a basket? Of course not. That's a ridiculous idea. A five year old boy is a five year old boy. Not a transformer - and not a five year old girl, either.
The idea that "Children who identify with the opposite gender are different cases entirely" is ludicrous - you are investing a passing whim of a five year old with a level of maturity and reason our society and law simply do not recognize.
- Beau said...
'He thinks that he wants to wear a skirt. He may, also, "think" that he is a female, an illusion that should disappear with the onset of puberty. And yes, of course this boy "will have a tough childhood," if his parents indulge this nonsense.'
If the child is transgendered there's know 'think' about it. He/she *knows* without any doubt at an early age they have ended up with the wrong gender. It's not a phase or a whim it's absolute knowing.
- mtrobertsattorney said...
Lets carry this matter just a small step further. Suppose the parents of little five-year old Johnnie, after listening to his crying about wanting to be a girl, decided to have him undergo a sex-change operation. Would the Daryl Herberts of this world support this decision? Or would the parents rightfully be guilty of child abuse?
- Joe Giles said...
And then there are the parents who think they ought to give hormone treatments to young tomboy girls on the theory that they need to be spared the shocking evidence of femininity that is menstruation.
Sometimes I just want to sit and have a good cry.
- davenoon said...
What about sparing them from that "shocking evidence of femininity," the BREAST!
- Christy said...
I question how safe school is for this exploration of sexual identity.
Isn't it a mistake to assume this kid has permanently decided his orientation? I think there is an entire spectrum of orientation that exists beyond and between gay and straight. Labels are so constraining, even if well intentioned.
- Daryl Herbert said...
you are investing a passing whim of a five year old with a level of maturity and reason our society and law simply do not recognize.
It's not a passing whim. These children are insistent on this point their entire lives.
It's not something that started yesterday. If this kid is typical, she's been acting like a girl since birth (preferring female toys/games, etc., before she even knew the difference)
If this really was a whim, and the kid really would change his mind in short order, I would definitely not support sending him to school in a dress. But this is no whim. It will be with this girl the rest of her life. This is not something we can change, and believe me, we've tried. Who wouldn't pay $10M to fix their kid, if they could afford it?
I should also point out the obvious: these cases are fairly rare. No one should take this as generic parenting advice when your five-year-old tells you "I'm a unicorn!" If you deny the existence of this phenomenon (having a gender identity that doesn't match the body type) then of course it looks like whim-worship.
But the phenomenon is very real. And like I said earlier, this is something that left-wing scientists thought they could "cure." So admitting that the phenomenon exists is not a victory for the left. It's one of their greatest failures. It proves that there is a human nature deeply ingrained in all of us that cannot be changed by any government program or mad scientist.
Once you accept that this is not something we are capable of changing, you'll see that there are really only two options: let the girl be a girl, and eventually get the surgery she'll need to be physically whole, or treat her like shit for her entire childhood until she's old enough to leave home and become a transsexual prostitute to save up money for the sex change she'll get if she can survive that long.
Where do you think transsexual hookers come from? Trannies are just inherently bad, sick people, so of course they'll be prostitutes? No, they're saving up to have their operations. They're willing to do whatever they can to raise the money, and it's not easy to get a job when you're a tranny (I wouldn't want to hire one and I suspect the same is true for most everyone).
Seeing a mannish "woman" with a beard and a male body type is sickening. They're disgusting to look at. They're bodies are completely unnecessary tragedies. No one wants them to look that way (except, apparently, the johns, and some leftists who are in love with the idea of anything that drives conservatives up the wall, aka "transcending boundaries").
We can prevent so much misery if we just accept what the child knows to be true: "he" is a girl, and "he" will continue to be female for "his" entire life. If we allow "him" to go through puberty without intervention, "he" will develop permanent mannish qualities (beard, deep voice, mannish body type) and we'll have a disgusting tranny, if not a suicide. Those characteristics take a long time to fade.
- Daryl Herbert said...
AlaskaJack: the surgery is not performed on children.
The important thing is to prevent a normal onset of puberty by neutralizing the nuts, because that just screws everything up. It's very hard to reverse that (which is why trannies look so nasty).
Christy: this is not about "sexual" identity. It's about gender. The two concepts are distinct. Even confused or bi-curious young adults know what gender they are.
- Simon said...
Chum -
To the extent that transsexuality is not, in fact, a purely induced condition, a paper-thin creation of identify politics run amock providing an expression for deep-rooted depression and psychosis (that is, to the extent that it is not a symptom rather than a problem), you're talking about people with a psychotic condition, a variant of apotemnophilia. What they do or don't "know," and their certitude about it, is irrelevant. I may be as certain as I like that the sun orbits the earth, but the solar system will remain obstinately heliocentric. It is bad enough that you want to let the law permit people to do such disfiguring violence unto themselves, instead of forcing them to obtain the treatment they need by removing the option of indulgence, but far worse you urge parents to encourage this in children who do not know better.
- Steven said...
Deep rooted psychosis may not be a "simple" disorder, but it is a disorder, none-the-less, and it should be treated as such.
Okay. What's your treatment plan, then, doctor? I assume you have a brilliant new treatment program, because all the ones that have been tried for gender identity disorder in the last 200 years have failed. Please share it.
You see, people (at least most) who suggest "accommodate it" are not doing something because they consider it mere diversity to celebrate. They do so because the other options don't work and tend to have even worse side effects than accommodation.
If this kid really does have gender identity disorder, he's already in enough trouble, just like a eighteenth century child with typhus. Just like calling in the doctors to "treat" the latter with bleeding, "treating" the child will at best do no good and at worst will compound the harm. When psychiatry has something better than the equivalent of a lancet, then we can talk about treatment.
We can't make any kind of a reasonable judgement about how deep-seated this kid's female-identifying goes based on the reportage of a single NYT article. The Times, you'll recall, isn't exactly a bastion of accuracy even on the stories it approves of.
So we as readers have no way of knowing if the kid has been choosing baby dolls to play with and doing other girlie things since toddlerhood -- because that's not mentioned in the article. The article says all of this started after the kid's third birthday when he started objecting to wearing certain boy clothes.
If I were that kid's parent, I'd be looking for the event that flipped the switch for the kid. He never mentioned it before he was three, then he turns three and all of a sudden, he identifies as a girl. Something had to have happened.
Then there's Daryl's false dichotomy: let the girl be a girl, and eventually get the surgery she'll need to be physically whole, or treat her like shit for her entire childhood...
This it complete crap, Daryl. How about respecting your kid but helping them to conform to social mores as much as possible? Boys can and do wear pink these days, you know, and little girls can wear whatever the heck they want. He doesn't have to have long, flowing locks, but he doesn't have to have a buzz cut, either. I'm in my kids' elementary school everyday and I've seen plenty of androgynous kindergardeners.
He may want to be called "she" but he isn't a she, and humoring that request is flying in the face of reality. By spending a lot of time and attention on this, the parents have taught the kid that this is a great tool for manipulating people. There's no need to trample the kid, but when he says, "I wish I were a girl," the parents have a choice -- they can freak out and say, "OK, you're a girl now!" Or they can explore that a little -- why does he want to be a girl? What is it that he thinks makes girls better than boys, so much that he wants to be one? (For all we know, his best friend at school is a girl and he just wanted to use the same bathroom as her.)
Every kid runs up against thwarted desires as they're growing up. Gender re-assigning your kid at age five seems like inappropriate psychological experimentation to me. Personally, I'd go this route, "Honey, you're only five years old, and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. There isn't anything that girls can do that boys can't. Let's go put that puzzle together." Distraction works nearly as well on kindergardeners as it does on toddlers.
It's a time-tested truism of parenting that the more time you spend on something, the more of that thing you will get. Is that what's going on here? Did the parents, in an attempt to be sensitive and supporting, inadvertently push the kid into this? Mom's "you really want to wear a dress, don't you?" makes me wonder. She put the idea in his head; if wanted to wear a dress, why didn't he point to one in the store? Why didn't he say, that's what I want? Maybe the particular pants he was asked to wear were chafing. Some kids are really picky about their clothes because the little tag or seam can make them uncomfortable, but they don't know how to express that -- they just don't like the clothes and can't say why. It's really reaching to assign a gender identity issue to something that could be explained in other ways. But they've been doing the girl thing for two years now, so my guess would be, they're stuck.
- Abc said...
I think that there are two very distinct issues here.
Some people are arguing against a boy going to school in a dress as if he has decided to get gender realignment surgery and the parents said, "okie doke." The kid isn't disgusted with his body. There really is little reason why women should be the ones wearing skirts while men the ones wearing pants (anatomically speaking, the opposite actually makes more sense, I think). That's just how society evolved and that's fine. But it _is_ a social construction and there is nothing necessary or natural about it.
So, someone choosing to buck the social construction, while rather silly (and to be discouraged by the parents lest the kid is beaten up in the sandbox), is not the same as being gender-confused and wanting to get a different set of sexual organs.
Finally, I seem to recall an extremely prominent law professor (as in, top 15 most cited scholars in the country), who raises his children in a gender-neutral manner.
- tjl said...
"He/she *knows* without any doubt at an early age they have ended up with the wrong gender."
When I was four I knew without any doubt that I wanted to be a seagull because seagulls can go to the beach in the winter. Fortunately, my parents didn't drop me off at the beach.
When I was four I also had little interest in boys' games. Fortunately, my parents encouraged an interest in sports and outdoor activities. In adolescence I realized I was gay, but long before then, I had acquired the skills to more or less fit in with my schoolmates.
According to the NYT article, most gender-confused children become gay
adults, and only a small fraction become transgendered. The process of self-acceptance as a gay person is not easy, even if you have the self-assurance poroduced by a reasonably happy upbringing. The process must be infinitely more difficult for someone with an upbringing like the one described in the NYT article. Over-sheltered, friendless outcasts will never develop the coping skills they will need to live productive satisfying lives in a society where most people are not like them.
Surely the parents of 5-year olds would be better advised to encourage a reasonable gender conformity until full adolescence, when their offfspring are able to understand what gender actually means.
- Unknown said...
Lots of intolerant commenters on this thread. Not a surprise.
If a boy wants to dress like a girl - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The only people who have a problem are the others who are uncomfortable with that. THEY are the ones who need counseling.
- Daryl Herbert said...
He may want to be called "she" but he isn't a she, and humoring that request is flying in the face of reality.
No. The reality of someone's brain is no less important than the reality of someone's body. The human brain is what makes us human. Denying that is foolish.
It's a time-tested truism of parenting that the more time you spend on something, the more of that thing you will get.
As has been noted elsewhere (see: Steven's comment), this is not something parents can fix. If they could fix it, I'll bet these parents would do so, in a heartbeat.
- James Wigderson said...
Hand the kid a football and start saving for the Military School.
- Unknown said...
Hand the kid a football and start saving for the Military School.
Oh cool - Glad to hear you now favor gays in the military.
this is not something parents can fix. If they could fix it, I'll bet these parents would do so, in a heartbeat.
You're missing the point: by making this an issue the parents have contributed to this situation signficantly. There's no reason for a kid to obsess over his gender at such a young age. There is literally nothing a 5-year-old girl can do that a 5-year-old boy cannot, although the reverse is not true, because girls can't pee standing up. Other than that, there's no gender-specific restrictions on pretty much anything. Five-year-olds aren't having sex or even thinking about sex. There's no reason for 5-year-olds to be so focused on gender.
- Unknown said...
- This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
- Unknown said...
I completely disagree Joan.
Even as a gay man, I would have freaked out if my parents tried to dress me as a girl. It would have caused deep psychological scars. That's because I'm not transgenedered.
But I assume that a five year old girl who is transgendered and thinks of herself as a boy would freak out in the same way if her parents tried to force her to wear a dress.
Now why would a parent want to inflict such psychological harm on a kid? Let them dress as they choose to. Transgenedred kids are perfectly aware that others will make fun of them. But they are capable of assessing the positive and negative aspects of what they're doing. If it makes them feel more comfortable - then why should I care?
We need to teach people to be tolerant of others.
I'm not entirely comfortable around transgendered people, but I'm intelligent enough to realize that that is my issue - not theirs.
downtownlad, you're missing another one of my points. The parents can be loving and supporting of their child while at the same time helping him find ways to socialize properly.
Besides, I know plenty of 5-year-old girls who hate, hate, hate dresses and refuse to wear them, but don't self-identify as boys -- I was one. It's extremely common. Most parents nowadays make reasonable compromises with such daughters.
Do you have much experience with 5-year-olds? I have tons. The majority of 5-year-olds wear gender neutral clothing. I think the parents could work with the kid to find clothes acceptable to him and that would not cause a ruckus at school or elsewhere. There's a huge amount of leeway in dressing kids these days, it's not an either-or proposition as Daryl and you seem to see it. My view is it should be a non-issue until the child is much older.
- Revenant said...
Someone needs to smack some sense into those parents. The last thing the kid needs is to spend the next 12 years hearing about how he used to come to school in a dress.
Sorry for yet-another-post, but I have to take issue with this: Transgenedred kids are perfectly aware that others will make fun of them. But they are capable of assessing the positive and negative aspects of what they're doing.
Transgendered teens or pre-teens may be this aware, but I can assure you that no 5-year-old has this much self-awareness, much less social awareness. I retract my question about your experience with 5-year-olds, because obviously you have none.
It is developmentally inappropriate for a five-year-old to spend time wishing he was a girl when he should be, you know, learning how to read, tie his shoes, and how to ride a bike without training wheels.
Daryl, one thing you have said is the most telling: "If I had kids, I would feel the same way about protecting their interests, even if people thought I was a douchebag for it".
It has been my experience that the best parents in the world are the ones without children. They seem to have all the answer to how to raise a perfect child. And who can prove them wrong? With no mistakes running around calling them papa there is no real evidence their theories don't work.
I was the same way before I started raising kids. If had a nickel for every rule I laid down about how I would raise my kids that I have since broken I could stop buying lottery tickets.
A co-worker recently had her first child, and as a present from the office we each parent wrote a page or two in a journal that we gave to the new parents.
My advice? Don't follow anyone else's advice on how to raise your children- write your own book, and then throw it away for the second child and write a new one.
As I said in an earlier post, children need discipline for multiple reasons, and allowing a three year old to bully you, as parent, into anything shows a distinct lack of discipline, especially in an area as important as cross gender dressing.
Daryl, would you be as in favor of allowing the child's whims to rule if he decided at the age of three that he needed a beer with his lunch every day? After all, he may know he is an alcoholic and needs this beer to make himself complete.
I hope that doesn't make any sense to you- handing your five year old son a cold beer with his tater tots makes about as much sense as sending him off to school presenting himself as a girl.
- Unknown said...
Gender is digital--male, female. Some get crapped on and confused. Could be embryonic hormones, freaky parents, etc. It's just bad luck. some have large noses, small parts that are ideally large.
The poor little ones who are truly confused are in a world of hurt, but they can't be accomodated--it's unnatural. That's the terrible irony. The confused little guys and girls are responding to their natural inclinations, as are their antagonists. Who is at fault?
In my view, a compassionate parent would dictate what a five year old would wear to school--boys dress as boys, etc. As the child matures and can better understand the situation, then he or she can accept responsibility for his or her choices.
Boys dressed as girls will get beat up at school. Girls dressed as boys will fare better, but won't be prom queen. I didn't make the rules, but PC pieties won't change a thing.
Tjl above speaks sense.
A little boy going to school wearing a dress or skirt will end up an outcast or worse.
- Meade said...
- This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
- Meade said...
As one who has had the privilege of living with females - mothers, sisters... I even once had the pleasure of rearing a daughter - I'm here to tell you menstruation is not just shocking evidence of femininity, it is shocking evidence of being a female who is not pregnant.
A boy who wants to wear a dress to school is hurting no one. Beating up a boy who is wearing a dress to school hurting no one should never be tolerated.
But a boy who wants to exhibit the wearing of a sanitary napkin to school, now, that's another thing. That would be a boy who needs to be counseled and could likely benefit not from hormone injections but from psychotherapy.
And isn't a tomboy simply a girl who likes to play sports? An athletic girl?
Hormone injections in order to spare a healthy athletic girl the shock of being female strikes me as unusually cruel parental meddling and psychologically malignant hovering.
- Paddy O said...
As a purely psychological-sociological question (because I still think the utilikilt is the way to go) -- why do the other children necessarily have to be corrected in their behavior which would outcast such a child? Don't spit at me yet. If we are arguing purely on the basis of genetic predisposition and the way nature made us it seems there is a significant urge for social correction within the human psyche.
Because social cohesion is a matter of survival for our clawless, hairless, big-brained, slow running selves, isn't the evolutionary demand to enforce social cohesion by strong means just as inherent as understanding one's own gender?
I, of course, don't at all advocate this kid being beat up and I wish him a happy, healthy, successful life as he wants to live it.
I'm just curious how we can decide his motives are somehow inherently good while the motives of the other kids or teachers are inherently wrong. He wants to wear a dress to maintain his identity. Others want to prevent this to maintain the broader identity of the social group.
We are a social species whose very psyches are dependent on social interactions, thus it seems that the protection of social structures is as moral as protection of personal identity.
If other five year olds do ostracize him why are their motives any less innate than his? Should they then be also supported?
- MadisonMan said...
Ninny parents. You let your child dress up however he or she likes at home. At school, however, there are rules of decorum to follow, that everyone follows. Find comfortable clothes for the kid to wear, nice androgynous clothes, and send him/her/hie/hir off. The parents in this article are trying to be friends, not parents, to their child.
- Meade said...
PS: Full disclosure: I was once married to a woman who, at age six, beat up a schoolmate, a six year-old boy, for calling her a "tomboy."
An apology was requested by the boy's mother. The girl refused. The matter was dropped/repressed.
I'm certain I'm not just speaking for myself when I say we ALL would have benefited by timely counseling and psychotherapy for that girl.
- Jason said...
From now on, I want you all to call me "Loretta."
- David said...
1. The reaction to the idea of a 5 year old boy in a dress is entirely cultural. It wasn't that long ago (although more in Europe than the US) that young boys were raised, more or less, as girls. Girls and boys wore the same clothes, which look exactly like dresses to modern eyes, and boys had uncut hair. At age 7, or so, the boys were "breeched;" that is, they were made to wear long pants. The men survived just fine. If the boy prefers dresses to pants, that's not a big deal.
2. Nor is it unavoidable that the kid will get beat up. In our little hippy dippy college town, where a surprising number of the kids have two mommies, we have all sorts of weird little kids running around being treated with earnest respect by their well-indoctrinated peers.
3. "Parents should be allowed to do nearly whatever they want with their kids."
I have no idea why people think this. Kids are not property. Obviously, for almost every decision made by almost every parent, you'd prefer having the parent decide than the state, but the line has to be drawn a lot closer than "nearly whatever."
4. One place the line should be drawn is just this side of letting the parents get all invested in their little transvestite, when this might mean any number of things. No one should be deciding their social-sexual future at age 5. The silliest thing in the article is the teacher who suggests that 5 year olds are "sophisticated enough to verbalize their feelings" about sex and gender.
- Daryl Herbert said...
2. Nor is it unavoidable that the kid will get beat up. In our little hippy dippy college town, where a surprising number of the kids have two mommies, we have all sorts of weird little kids running around being treated with earnest respect by their well-indoctrinated peers.
I would hate to live in your town. It sounds unbearable. Your story is so tragic.
The day American schoolchildren aren't permitted to inflict harm on kids who are different is the day America dies.
Or maybe, if the problem is bullying, we should punish the bullies.
- Beau said...
Transexualism as you call it is not a pyschotic condition or a desire to to mutilate oneself.
There are thousands of people, who once becoming an adult and having gone through a complex medical and psychological process that confirms that their body does not match their gender identity, undergo corrective surgery. These people go on to live successful and happy lives once their body matches their internal identity. You may even have met such people...you just wouldn't know it as post surgery life goes on, families are raised, and Little Leagues are coached, etc.
Transgendered individuals mostly want the opportunity of a normal life....something not easily possible prior to surgery and hormone replacement. Marriage is not possible until post surgery when legal gender can be changed.
- Tom T. said...
The boy with the botched circumcision was indeed a boy, so it seems to me that the lesson of his case is that it's ultimately difficult to overcome one's biology.
Given how unusual the intensity of this little boy's feelings of gender identity are at this early age, I can't help but wonder if he has been exposed to sexuality through some form of abuse. Absolutely let's hope not, but I wonder if any of the authorities worrying about his clothing have looked into that possibility.
- Daryl Herbert said...
The silliest thing in the article is the teacher who suggests that 5 year olds are "sophisticated enough to verbalize their feelings" about sex and gender.
Once again, someone throws "sex" into this, when it's just about gender.
Second, why is this statement so crazy? If the concept is simple enough ("I'm not a boy, I'm a girl"), why wouldn't a 5-year-old be sophisticated enough to say that? Isn't that exactly what this 5-year-old is doing?
If the kid feels very strongly about not wanting to wear pants, throwing a tantrum over it is verbalizing his/her feelings.
I don't think anyone is having a problem understanding what the kid is trying to say. Which would suggest that s/he is, in fact, sophisticated enough to verbalize his/her feelings.
- Mortimer Brezny said...
This kid is why I believe in the right to abortion.
Paddy O wrote: "I'm just curious how we can decide his motives are somehow inherently good while the motives of the other kids or teachers are inherently wrong. He wants to wear a dress to maintain his identity. Others want to prevent this to maintain the broader identity of the social group."
Ah, easy, he has a progressive agenda so he must be good! It bucks up against repressive established psycho-sexual norms so it must be healthy.
At 5, his sense of self is still very malleable. He may indeed be transgendered. If so, he is in trouble as this birth defect sets people up for years of ridicule and pain. Better that it is a whim, better for him. It is less painful.
Not that it should be that way, but it is.
- David said...
Daryl: I didn't say they wouldn't punish kids who are different. It all depends on what you mean by "different."
As for whether to trust 5 years olds on issues of sex and gender, I'm reminded of what a friend of mine said during the rash of day care pedophilia cases: "Promise my daughter a cookie and she'll say anything you want."
- Knemon said...
""They didn't see children as sophisticated enough to verbalize their feelings."
Imagine that.
- jhon said...
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- Kerri said...
I was amazed, at age 5, when I saw my first tomboy. This was in an era when girls always wore only skirts, dresses, or summer play clothes; and society dictated children's toys, clothes, interests, and activities, strictly.
I could not believe how brave this person was, carrying a baseball glove, in public, being teased by others, yet wearing a smile and was yet walking with self-confidence. I thought that this was a boy that had to look and act as a girl but was brave enough to let people know that he was not a girl, but a boy.
She was, of course, just a tomboy


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Trying to rein in your spending? Forget vague vows like "tightening your belt" and institute a hardcore No-Spend Zone in just one area. Some ideas:
- No-Spend Zone 1: When you leave the house. Picking up a prescription? Grabbing pizza—er, groceries? Stick to your to-do list and curb the urge for retail detours.
- No-Spend Zone 2: Clothes. End-of-summer sales are tempting, but you'll be grateful that you stashed your cash when temps drop and that cozy new sweater is calling your name.
- No-Spend Zone 3: With friends. Avoid spendy pals or take control by setting the price point for a night out. Aim for half-off happy-hour drinks, or host a potluck dinner with a fun food theme. (Now's your chance to have the All-Cheese Extravaganza.)
- No-Spend Zone 4: Online. A recent, highly unscientific DailyWorth poll revealed that slow afternoons prompt unnecessary online purchases. Remove retail sites from your bookmarks and unlink your credit cards from the websites.
- No-Spend Zone 5: Kids. Always bring snacks. Cut out the token toy at the grocery store. Buy kids' clothes and shoes on consignment or work the hand-me-down angle.
Cheap out. Where do you need a No-Spend Zone?
photo source: fatoldsunshine's shop on etsy

subset: commoncrawl


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Our store is secure. All payments are made via PayPal. So you can shop with 100% confidence.
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The VICTOR mesh patterned replica ball for hickory golf. Approved for play at all classic hickory golf events.
Special Low Prices
whilst stocks last.
£14.55 per 3 ball sleeve
£28.50 for 6 loose
£56.00 for 12 loose
For further details please refer to item X001 on the New Mesh & Dimple Balls for Hickory Play page.
The RTJ small dimple pattern replica ball for hickory golf.
Approved for play at all classic hickory golf events.
£16.00 per 3 ball sleeve
£31.50 for 6 loose
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For further details please refer to item X007 on the New Mesh & Dimple Balls for Hickory Play page.
The Ouimet mesh pattern replica ball approved for play at all classic hickory golf events.
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For further details please refer to item X004 on the New Mesh & Dimple Balls for Hickory Play page.
Home » Antique Clubs c.1850-1899
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A very rare gun metal putter remains in original condition. Made by Jacky Ferguson who was the brother of Bob Ferguson, the three times Open Champion. The length is 33.50" (86cm).
The two main features are the short 1.5" (4cm) hosel and the unusual centre insert right through the head from the top to the bottom. The insert seems to be made from a wood compound or similar material. This putter could still be used for play, however it is mainly offered for display purposes only.
His name remains clearly visible stamped to the top of the head, plus his name is also stamped to the shaft below the old grip although the stamp is now quite faint. The initials are stamped at the toe end, presumably belonging to the original owner.
The head measures 3.5" (9cm) from toe to heel along the rear. The depth is ¾" (2cm) and the width of the sole is ¾" (2cm).
The shaft is straight retaining the original hide grip which has been re whipped at some stage in the past.
Buying Hickory Clubs for Play
This club(s) has been carefully inspected and sympathetically restored to a condition suitable for playing hickory golf. However it is important to remember that the average age of a hickory club is between 80 to 100 years and even older in some cases so you are purchasing an item of golf history, i.e. a golfing antique.
The majority of hickory clubs will be fine for play when handled with care but there are a few that even after being restored can have problems. For example iron heads become loose, shafts can split and socket joints do sometimes break down under the stress of the golf swing, the impact of hitting a golf ball or another hard object such as a stone or practice mat. These are the risks that you must be prepared to accept when playing with hickory clubs and therefore we cannot be held responsible should such damage occur.
GOLF BALLS – Important Advice.
It is always advisable to use a 'soft feel' ball when playing hickory golf to help prevent damaging the clubs. Most modern balls have a hard outer coating that can damage the face of a wood and put unnecessary strain on the socket joint. Hard balls can also cause an iron head/hosel to become loose from the wooden shaft. Driving range balls also invariably have a hard outer coating, plus hitting off rubber practice mats can sometimes loosen iron heads. Always practice on a grass surface.
Please refer to New Mesh & Dimple Balls for Hickory Play (see main menu) to view our replica 1920's style soft feel balls.
Keeping Your Club(s) In Good Condition:
After a round of golf, should your clubs have become wet during play please ensure that you thoroughly clean and dry the heads when arriving home. Applying a thin coat of 'gun oil' to the iron heads helps protect against rust forming.
It is advisable to store your hickory clubs in a cool dry place. Too much moisture or heat can affect the hickory shafts, for example the shaft can shrink within the hosel causing the head to become loose. The cooler the environment - the better.
Postal Charges
Please refer to the Postal Prices, Payments & Returns page. Orders consisting of more than one club will significantly reduce the postal charge for the added club(s) or other items, i.e. the cost to send 6 or even 8 clubs is virtually the same as for one club so should a friend also wish to make a purchase then combine the orders and save money. Should you wish to take advantage of this saving then please contact me for a postal quote before placing your order on the website.
When the courier arrives please check the condition of the parcel before signing for the delivery. This is most important because the courier will not accept liability for damage if the parcel is signed for in good condition and then a complaint is lodged at a later date.
Copyright © Antique Hickory Golf Clubs


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I have been researching different plans that I feel offer a healthy approaches to weight loss.
I love the idea of eating intuitively, but unfortunately for me, I just maintain my weight doing that. Which is good in one respect because someday, maybe, I'll be able to eat intuitively once I reach my goal.
I've been trying to find a chart that tells me how many servings of which food groups I should eat and why. I don't want anything TOO restrictive, but I know that I do need something to jump start my weight loss and my motivation again, so a little restriction may be necessary.
I started thinking about the South Beach Diet for a few reasons. First, I know that you don't have to count calories, points, or anything for that matter. Remember when I followed the Simply Filling plan on WW? I liked that freedom. I am thinking maybe the South Beach Diet is similar. And the fact that you have the freedom goes hand in hand with learning habits needed for intuitive eating.
Way, way back, when I was a devastated teenager trying to get a hold of my weight and self confidence, my Mom made an appointment with a doctor for me. This doctor was a little overweight herself and understood where I came from. She never once made me feel like some of these doctors have made me feel today. But she recommended the South Beach Diet. For whatever reason, I never ended up following it, but it stands out in my mind as a plan that a doctor recommended to me.
I have also mentioned, numerous times, how I want to eat more "clean" foods. I am regularly improving and making small changes, but I'm not quite there yet. The South Beach Diet seems to incorporate fresh and healthy foods.
I am a little apprehensive about the first two weeks. Can I give up fruits for two whole weeks? Milk? All starches and carbs? I like to think that I could but I know how difficult that it would be for me. And what do you do if you have to attend an event where you can't control the food you're being served? But I know this might also be good practice for exercising my control. If I felt a little more in control, I know that would motivate me.
As you know, I have always practiced "everything in moderation". The problem is, I haven't been practicing moderation lately. I have come to the conclusion that I genuinely hit a plateau, A LONG TIME AGO, lost my motivation because of it, and have ended up where I am today. I KNOW that I'm not giving 100% right now. So I am searching for the plan, the knowledge, and the tools so that I can put my 100% into something that's really going to work for me this time, something that will pull me through the wall that I hit.
I did contact a registered dietician and I am going to meet with her after the 4th sometime. So there's a step. She says she has worked with people in my situation before who have lost a lot of weight and stalled. Maybe she will have some kind of nutritional plan that I can follow. I just need all of the pieces of the puzzle. Like I said in my post yesterday, I need to know what to eat. How much to eat. This seems so simple, but after finding so many different opinions in my own research, I am lost. I want an expert to help me, IN PERSON.
I still plan on meeting with a personal trainer but I am kind of waiting until our swimming lessons are done at the YMCA so that hubby can continue swimming lessons at the new location while I do my personal training. Did I mention that the new location has a swimming pool?! I have a newfound love for swimming and will definitely take advantage of that with such a cheap membership!! I have successfully learned three strokes in three lessons. We have two more lessons and I hope to learn two more! If there are two more? Probably are…


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3 years ago
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It was a beautiful day on the mountain, and a beautiful day to make history.
I left the morning sun behind, and entered the true velvet sur-surface catacomb of The Monte Bello Room.
I emerged on the other side, into the comparatively harsh radiance of an office, a hallway, and then, the room. The room in which it was to all transpire. The sacellum within. It wasn't exactly with confidence that I walked into the room, though neither was it with the abject terror that had so twisted my guts the first time around. The mantra cycled in my mind, "You've done this before, and you can do this. You've done this before, and you can do this. You've done this before, and you can do this." It felt good to be a part of it all again, and while I wasn't nervous to the point of emotional instability, I was still imbued with an awe that can't be tamed, and will never dissipate.
The room looked as if it hadn't been touched since this same time last year. The glassware was shimmering in all its crystal purity, the weight of the wooden table immense, reassuring, stable. The bread basket was full, the cheeses were cut and in their places; knives glistening at their sides. Pools of beatific olive oil lying languidly in shallow white dishes, and on the glossy black matte of the counter, the wines.
A seeming acre stretching into infinity; beakers, bottles, glasses. And hovering over it all, the butterfly-fleet fingers of winemaker Eric Baugher. An odd thought, but watching the intense choreography of his concentration, the near effortless rhythm to his subtle movements, the curious dance of his hands, with not a sprig of energy wasted, I was reminded, of all people, of Jamey Turner playing the glass harp on the old Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. The way he too hovered over a sea of glassware, making a beautiful and eerie music all his own.
This was the second day of the Monte Bello First Assemblage Tasting, and the news from Day One was very good. Thirteen lots had been selected from the core twenty-four, the highest in recent memory, possibly ever. And this from the 2011 vintage, a growing season near universally decried across California. This is one of so many singularities about The Ridge Way, that in the most challenging of seasons, we should find ourselves blessed with the most intensely concentrated of flavors, at a quality level almost impossibly high.
The Monte Bello is a "built" wine; built literally from the ground up, relying on little more than the natural complexities, nuances, and variations present within the boundaries of the vineyard. All three "tiers" of our mountain — the lower, the middle, the upper — are sub-divided into much smaller blocks, identified and isolated to capture each micro-climatic miracle of distinction. Think of a painter's pallet, each hue and tone the ingredients of a waiting masterpiece. Swirled together, a formless, charmless mud, but kept separate and distinct, the origins of genius. Think of the vineyard in the same fashion; harvested all at once, all together, and with total disregard for the unique personalities of each and every sub-parcel, the result is formless, shapeless, undefined, a wine unremarkable. But keep them apart, carrying them safely and distinctly through harvest, through fermentation, through tasting, and you have the origins of greatness, the pure building blocks of magic.
This is how Monte Bello is built. From a baseline group of twenty-four vineyard parcels, so defined for their consistent and historical offerings of Monte Bello-caliber fruit, a "control" is "assembled," a compendium of juice indisputably consistent with history, with quality, with beauty. This assembled control becomes the beginning of the First Assemblage process. Alongside the control, a second glass; in it, the control PLUS ONE. Juice from one additional parcel, added to the mix. We taste "blind," no one knowing which is which. And we taste, and we taste, and we taste. And we write. And we sip, swish, spit. Again and again. We ponder, we debate inside our minds, we debate with one another, we debate with the gods. We stare at the colors, bury our noses in the aromas, let the liquids lay widely on our palates. We aerate aggressively, we savor delicately. On the page, metaphor upon metaphor, analysis upon analysis. Are the tannins coated or exposed? Are the acids firm or lively? Is the fruit robust and powerful, or delicate and elegant? Eventually, a decision must be made. One wine gets the dreaded minus, one the plus of affirmation. In secret, each taster shares their votes with Eric. Then the talking begins anew, a break from the near funereal and holy silence preceding. Each taster explains their vote, offers their perspectives. The "speeches" have the passion of conversion to them, but of course the votes are already in, there is nothing that can be changed now. But the insights are fascinating, and we each take notes on one another's thoughts; new jottings joining the stained mosaics already decorating our yellow-lined pages. Will the addition make it? And what WAS the addition? Young Cabernet Franc from Rousten? Merlot from the middle? The curtain comes up, the votes are tallied, the verdict is clear.
After the first flight, it was clear the day would be unusual; nine tasters, seven in favor of the control (i.e. no "addition"). But the two "plus" votes? Paul Draper and Eric Baugher! A conundrum right out of the gate! Would they wield their "winemakers veto?"
They did not. The control moved on. Flight two commenced. Another seven-to-two vote! Again, the control took the majority of votes. Two flights in, and still no addition! But at least we had unity amongst the trio of winemakers this time; Paul, Eric, and John Olney all voted the control.
Flight three? Yet another seven-to-two vote! This was unprecedented! And this time, John and Eric united in favor of the addition, while Paul came out for the control. Which put Paul in the minority camp, as the addition had taken the seven plus votes. Now what??? Would Paul veto?
He did not. What he did instead was take a moment to acknowledge the extraordinary caliber of the wines we were tasting. The voting profile kept changing because it was simply so HARD to make distinctions. Everything was, in fact, delicious. Personally, flight three had been the hardest yet for me to decide on. But in the end, I'd settled on the addition, which put me with the majority. We had a new control! Fourteen lots.
Things got upended all over again with flight four. This time the vote was tight as tight could be, five-to-four! And this time, John and Paul voted in unison, while Eric was odd man out! The 5s were on the control; Eric and the 4s were for the addition. After much discussion, all at the table opted to move the addition on, even though it had taken only the four plusses. Truth be told, we were getting excited, and the prospect of another parcel in was just too much to resist.
And now came yet another wrinkle; John Olney had to return to Lytton Springs to attend to developments on the bottling line.
That left eight tasters, with no tie-breaking vote! Fortunately, flight five saw a six-to-two clear majority, again in favor of the addition. A 4.4% introduction of Cabernet Franc! I was thrilled.
The inevitable happened with flight six; a tie! Four for the sixteen-lot control, four for the addition. And what an interesting split! The extended winemaking team was all in on the addition (Paul Draper, Eric Baugher, Shun Ishikubo, and Shinji Kurokawa), whereas the vineyard team (David Gates, Will Thomas, and Kyle Theriot) were all united behind the control (which is where I voted as well). The vineyard team and I lost out; the addition prevailed, we were at seventeen lots!
Flight eight, the final round. Another tie! Four-to-four. What to do now, oh, what to do? This time, restraint prevailed, we held at seventeen lots. This was now "officially" the First Assemblage of the 2011 Monte Bello!
In describing the wine, Paul used the word "satisfying" (then immediately noted that he didn't think he'd ever used that term to describe a wine before!), and he was right. This was a very satisfying wine.
But the final challenge still remained; a four-wine "blind" tasting of the new 2011 First Assemblage, alongside the previous three vintages of Monte Bello: 2010 (barrel sample), 2009 (unreleased, in bottle), and 2008 (current release). This was to make sure we hadn't all collectively tunnel-visioned our way into a fatally narrow paradigm, into a restricted palate calibration, into a world of 2011; too self-reflective, too self-justifying, too far away from history.
As the tasting was blind, the challenge was of course to guess which vintage was which, while also ideally affirming the 2011's proper place in the lineage. To add a wrinkle, I gave myself a little test. First, I voted entirely on smell; ending up with (from left to right) the 2008, the 2011, the 2010, and the 2009. Then I voted on taste, ending up with a chronological order; 2008-2011. When the metaphorical curtain came up, I'd been right on taste, and two-out-of-four on aromatics. What this told me was two things: 1) I wasn't quite over my cold yet, and my nose was still compromised! And 2) That the 2011 sat in there just fine. Strong, concentrated, deep, full, complex.
Me? I was tired, wiped out, exhausted, spent, flattened.
But also exhilarated, excited, rapturous.
This was a day for the ages, and this was a wine for the ages!
This wine will see release in 2014. It may sit in your cellar for, what, ten years? Twenty years? Thirty years? It might be the year 2044 before you taste the full flower of this wine's potential. 2044! If I am fortunate, I will be an old man then, but hopefully still a vibrant one; full of passion, still enacting a reconciliation between the wildness of my youth and the wisdom of my age. I wish the same for all of us, we assemblers. May we all live to 2044 and beyond! And may we still be bridges between the unbridled passions of our younger selves, and the wise and peaceful souls of our winters.
When you taste this wine, this is what you will be tasting. The bookends of our souls, and all that breathes between.
Both the sage and the wise were drinkers,
Why seek for peers among gods and goblins?
Three cups open the grand door to bliss;
Take a jugful, the universe is yours.
Such is the rapture found in wine …
(from "Vindication" by Li-Po)
Categories: Bordeaux varietals, Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon, Events, History, Merlot, Monte Bello, Paul Draper, Petit Verdot, RIDGE Staff, Tasting Flights, Tasting Notes, Varietals & Blends, Video, Vineyards, Viticultural Salmagundi, Wine & Art, Wine Tales, Winemaking


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Though the age-range is quite varied, many women enter menopause in their early to mid-50's. Along with the surge of hot-flashes, sleepless nights and changing bodies, changes in skin can sometimes be hard to keep up with. Here are some of the most common skin concerns that women entering menopause deal with and ways to tackle the issues.
Sagging Skin
When entering menopause, your skin produces less collagen and elastic fibers. You see this in the mirror with the onset of wrinkles and sagging skin. Like most of the unwanted changes that happen during menopause, this is due to the drop in estrogen levels. What happens is that your body actually reroutes the areas in which the body stores fat deposits. The fat that was once kept your skin looking plump now is rerouted to your abdomen, thighs and buttocks. Lovely.
What You Can Do:
- Vitamin A: It now takes your skin around 60 days to renew – more than double than when you were in your 20's and 30's. Retinoids and Retinol are vitamin A derived ingredients that help speed up the renewal of skin cells, bringing fresh new skin cells to the surface faster. Use an over the counter anti-aging retinol product or get a prescription retinoid from your dermatologist.
- Peptides: Find a skin care product that contains peptides. The body "sees" these peptides as broken collagen pieces and in trying to naturally heal itself, the body creates more collagen to replace the broken pieces. Seeing collagen production is greatly diminished after menopause, this is very helpful in terms of anti-aging.
- Injectables: You have probably have heard of injections such as Botox, Juvederm and Restylane before. Botox temporarily paralyzes the facial muscles smoothing wrinkles while the other two are known as fillers which help plump and smooth. Each of these are injected into your skin by a Dermatologist. The effects are temporary, but can last up to 6 months, with most people getting another injection after 3 to 4 months. What used to be something people were scared to do has now become something that is quiet common and comes with very little pain and down time. Don't see anyone for an injectable that isn't a doctor. There are also other procedures your doctor can do in-office such as lasers, peels and microdermabrasions.
Adult Acne
When your estrogen levels fall, your testosterone levels rise, which can bring on a slew of unwanted skin issues. One of these is oily skin, even if your skin hasn't seen oily days for decades. With oily skin can come adult onset acne and unfortunately, it's not usually the small pimples that sit on the surface of the skin but deeper, cystic acne.
What You Can Do:
Visit your dermatologist who will have the best advice for you. Sure, you can use acne skin care products, but most aren't really effective at treating cystic acne. Your doctor will have options for you and will be able to watch your hormone levels. Though hormone replacement therapy isn't widely used anymore, in some cases it is suggested and can help minimize menopausal symptoms.
Dry Skin
Once your estrogen levels drop and settle without huge fluctuation, dry skin is one of the biggest complaints. It seems like nothing you do can keep up with the dry skin that covers your body.
What You Can Do:
Replace your skin care products with those made for very dry skin. Use a creamy facial cleaner and stop using the sudsy ones that strip the oil on your skin. Consider using face oils as moisturizers. Moisturize your body immediately after your shower when your skin is still damp.
Increased Facial Hair
Again, like we talked about above, the drop in estrogen and rise in testosterone can cause a new issue of facial hair even for those who never had much facial hair in their pre-menopausal days. You will notice this above your upper lip, lower lip, chin and cheeks.
What You Can Do:
Find a hair removal process that works best for you. Threading is more popular than ever and causes no redness – thus no down time. Check with your doctor to see in Vaniqa will work for you. It is currently the only FDA approved treatment clinically proven to minimize the growth of unwanted facial hair.
Hair Loss
According to New Zealand Dermatological Society, approximately one third of post-menopausal women experience hair loss typically at the front and top of the scalp. This can be the most devastating side-effect of entering post-menopause.
What You Can Do:
Don't waste your money on shampoos that claim to regrow hair. Take this one to the experts and talk to your doctor. There are proven treatments that are typically made for men, such as Propecia, but they are at times used on women, as well, so make an appointment to discuss your options. Hair loss is not something you have to sit in silence about.
Age Spots
Melanin production in the skin can rise, especially in areas that were exposed to the sun frequently in years past – your face, hands, arms, neck and chest are most affected and you will often notice patches of skin are darker than the rest of your skin.
What You Can Do:
Be diligent with sunscreen and protect your skin with long sleeves and sun hats when possible. The more the skin is exposed to the sun, the darker the spots will get. There are products that claim to minimize age spots, also called sun spots or liver spots. One of the ingredients shown to have the ability to lighten skin spots is Hydroquinone, but there is some concern over its safety. Do your homework and as always, your doctor should be your first line of defense and authority in answering questions you have.


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ROCKFORD — The Winnebago & Boone Counties Genealogical Society will meet at 1:30 p.m. Sept. 6 at Spring Creek United Church of Christ, 4500 Spring Creek Road.
Allen Ockerlander will discuss the varieties of tea that were available to the American colonists and tea's role in American society and history. Attendees will have the opportunity to sample tea after the presentation.
The meeting is free and open to the public. Refreshments will be served.
For information: facebook.com/WBCGS.


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The release of Lisa Renee Jones's first book in her INSIDE OUT TRILOGY -- IF I WERE YOU -- as an indie book August 24th was followed by a negotiated sale to Simon and Schuster only three days later, and inked on September 12th. In the short window of time the story was released it climbed to Barnes and Nobles top 100 and broke the top 50 at Amazon, while garnering more than 1000 reviews at Goodreads. Inspired by a journal her fiancee found when buying and selling storage units (yes like the show but before the show) Lisa calls this her SHADES OF GREY meets BASIC INSTINCT.
Why Shades of Grey? The dark, damaged characters and passion. Why Basic Instinct? Because the main character Sara finds an erotic journal and begins to read. Sara becomes as obsessed with the writer of the journal as the writer is with the two men in the journal, and they with her. She seeks out the woman to be sure she is safe and becomes absorbed in her life, where she meets two powerful men -- one of which draws her into an intensely passionate affair. Simon and Schuster has re-released IF I WERE YOU in e-book and is coordinating the print release of the entire trilogy for early 2013. Sales to at least six foreign markets, several with pre-empts and in negations.
Below is the Publishers Marketplace announcement:
Indie books phenom Lisa Renee Jones's INSIDE OUT trilogy, pitched as 50 Shades of Grey meets Basic Instinct, to Micki Nuding at Gallery, in a major deal, in a three-book deal, with Gallery re-issuing the first book in the series as an ebook on September 13, 2012, by Louise Fury at L. Perkins Agency (world).
Film rights: Shari Smiley(recently sold Gone Girl which has Reese Witherspoon attached)


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Schmechtig Landscapes designs, installs and maintains landscaping, not only in Barrington IL,
but in most of the surrounding communities of Barrington IL.
Schmechtig Landscapes designs, installs and maintains landscaping, not only in Barrington IL,
but in most of the surrounding communities of Barrington IL.
Our 58 years of successful practice, including in Barrington IL, comes from dedication to building long-term relationships with our clients – and that's why the majority of our work comes directly from referrals. Whether a landscape design project or landscape and lawn maintenance plan, our full service outdoor living approach gives you the gift of time to spend with family and friends. Our staff is dedicated to provide you the highest quality in customer service and we are proud of the long term relationships we have nurtured.
Request a Quote
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Schmechtig Landscapes creates a total exterior environment for our Barrington IL clients working with their budget as well as their lifestyle and preferences using the industry's finest products with a concern for detail in all areas including: custom furniture, fabrics, accessories, container pots, lighting and water features. At Schmechtig, our full service land management approach gives you the gift of time to spend with family and friends. The end-result is an outdoor environment that meets and exceeds expectations but more than that, it's a total experience that enhances our client's enjoyment and life in their stunning outdoor living space.
Schmechtig Landscapes programs are tailored to fit your landscape design, build and maintenance requirements. For over 50 years our experienced and knowledgeable staff provides value and the confidence of depending upon one company to care for your Barrington IL home's landscape. As a Schmechtig client you are assigned an Account Manager to direct your team in every aspect of landscape services knowing exactly when to perform each service, which will exceed your expectations.
If you are looking for a Barrington IL area lawn landscape maintenance company or landscape design build firm, call us today for your complimentary consultation at 847-566-1233 or complete the online contact form.
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Satisfied Schmechtig Landscapes Client


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Boomshine Blowout
The boxes of Boomshine in the factory with one on fire
|Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
|Phil Cassidy
|Viceport, Vice City
|Truck Stop
Boomshine Blowout is a mission in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories given to protagonist Victor Vance by Phil Cassidy from Phil's Depot in Viceport, Vice City.
Victor Vance goes by Phil's Depot looking for some work and once again finds a drunk Phil Cassidy. Phil, at first, won't admit that he is drunk does know that the Cholos are planning to blow up his liquor stored at The Big Package Storage Co. warehouse in Little Havana. After reminiscing about his abusive father, Phil decides to help Victor get the boomshine before it blows up Vice City.
Victor drives to the warehouse and Phil opens the door, causing an explosion inside. Victor uses a Forklift to move the four cases of boomshine on to the back of Phil's Walton. Phil then drives away to find a safe place to put his drink.
Victor Vance: Phil, what's going on? You're a mess.
Phil Cassidy: I'm not drunk. I'm just resting my eyes.
Victor Vance: Okay... so, what's going on?
Phil Cassidy: My Boomshine's about to get blown sky high by a bunch of angry scumbags.
Victor Vance: What?
Phil Cassidy: Them Cholos are gonna blow up my liquor - there's so much of it at the warehouse one match'll blow it all the way to Tennessee. Tennessee, here I come...
Victor Vance: Phil - Come on. Let's deal with it.
Phil Cassidy: The thing is Vicky boy, my daddy was an angry man. He never, ever told me I was special. In fact - he used to beat me. Especially when he caught me staring at my cousin or my sister. You know what he said to me? He said I'd be better off dead...
Victor Vance: And how exactly is this helping?
Phil Cassidy: The tragedy of it is, I'm just like him - I'm a drunk. I deserve to die! It should have been me instead of Zack on hill 491 man. I'm coming home, daddy! Yeah daddy! I'm coming home.
Victor Vance: You're pathetic.
(Victor drives Phil to The Big Package Storage Company warehouse).
Phil Cassidy: I could have sworn I locked this place up.
Victor Vance: Phil! Don't open the...
(An explosion occurs inside the warehouse).
Phil Cassidy: DADDDDDDDDY!!!! DADDYDADDYDADDY!!!! Scheming Cholo bastards booby-trapped my place. Ain't no use running... When that Boomshine blows, we're all gonna die!
Victor Vance: Get a grip. I'll get your damn liquor.
Phil Cassidy: I'll back the truck up to the door. You load her up.
(Victor loads the four cases of Boomshine on to Phil's Walton).
Phil Cassidy: I better put these babies in some place, huh?
Aunt Enid: Has your brother been in touch? He hasn't done his chores... again.
The reward for completing the mission is $250. No mission is unlocked, unless the player has completed missions for Marty Jay Williams, in which case the mission Truck Stop becomes available.


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MySQL Community Server 5.5.20 has been released
Posted by: hery ramilison
Date: January 11, 2012 11:29AM
Date: January 11, 2012 11:29AM
Dear MySQL users, MySQL 5.5.20 is a new version of the 5.5 production release of the world's most popular open source database. MySQL 5.5.20 is recommended for use on production systems. MySQL 5.5 includes several high-impact enhancements to improve the performance and scalability of the MySQL Database, taking advantage of the latest multi-CPU and multi-core hardware and operating systems. In addition, with release 5.5, InnoDB is now the default storage engine for the MySQL Database, delivering ACID transactions, referential integrity and crash recovery by default. MySQL 5.5 also provides a number of additional enhancements including: - Significantly improved performance on Windows, with various Windows specific features and improvements - Higher availability, with new semi-synchronous replication and Replication Heart Beat - Improved usability, with Improved index and table partitioning, SIGNAL/RESIGNAL support and enhanced diagnostics, including a new Performance Schema monitoring capability. For a more complete look at what's new in MySQL 5.5, please see the following resources: MySQL 5.5 is GA, Interview with Tomas Ulin: http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/interviews/thomas-ulin-mysql-55.html Documentation: http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.5/en/mysql-nutshell.html Whitepaper: What's New in MySQL 5.5: http://dev.mysql.com/why-mysql/white-papers/mysql-wp-whatsnew-mysql-55.php If you are running a MySQL production level system, we would like to direct your attention to MySQL Enterprise Edition, which includes the most comprehensive set of MySQL production, backup, monitoring, modeling, development, and administration tools so businesses can achieve the highest levels of MySQL performance, security and uptime. http://mysql.com/products/enterprise/ For information on installing MySQL 5.5.20 on new servers, please see the MySQL installation documentation at http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.5/en/installing.html For upgrading from previous MySQL releases, please see the important upgrade considerations at: http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.5/en/upgrading.html MySQL Database 5.5.20 is available in source and binary form for a number of platforms from our download pages at: http://dev.mysql.com/downloads/mysql/ Not all mirror sites may be up to date at this point in time, so if you can't find this version on some mirror, please try again later or choose another download site. We welcome and appreciate your feedback, bug reports, bug fixes, patches, etc.: http://forge.mysql.com/wiki/Contributing The following section lists the changes in the MySQL source code since the previous released version of MySQL 5.5. It may also be viewed online at: http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.5/en/news-5-5-20.html Enjoy! D.1.1. Changes in MySQL 5.5.20 (10 January 2012) Functionality Added or Changed * A new server option, --slow-start-timeout, controls the Windows service control manager's service start timeout. The value is the maximum number of milliseconds that the service control manager waits before trying to kill the MySQL service during startup. The default value is 15000 (15 seconds). If the MySQL service takes too long to start, you may need to increase this value. A value of 0 means there is no timeout. (Bug #45546, Bug #11754011) Bugs Fixed * Important Change: Replication: Setting an empty user in a CHANGE MASTER TO statement caused an invalid internal result and is no longer permitted. Trying to use MASTER_USER='' or setting MASTER_PASSWORD while leaving MASTER_USER unset causes the statement to fail with an error. (Bug #13427949) * Important Change: Replication: Moving the binary log file, relay log file, or both files to a new location, then restarting the server with a new value for --log-bin, --relay-log, or both, caused the server to abort on start. This was because the entries in the index file overrode the new location. In addition, paths were calculated relative to datadir (rather than to the --log-bin or --relay-log values). The fix for this problem means that, when the server reads an entry from the index file, it now checks whether the entry contains a relative path. If it does, the relative part of the path is replaced with the absolute path set using the --log-bin or --relay-log option. An absolute path remains unchanged; in such a case, the index must be edited manually to enable the new path or paths to be used. (Bug #11745230, Bug #12133) * InnoDB Storage Engine: When doing a live downgrade from MySQL 5.6.4 or later, with innodb_page_size (http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.6/en/innodb-parameters.html #sysvar_innodb_page_size) set to a value other than 16384, now the earlier MySQL version reports that the page size is incompatible with the older version, rather than crashing or displaying a "corruption" error. (Bug #13116225) * InnoDB Storage Engine: Issuing INSERT...ON DUPLICATE KEY statements for InnoDB tables from concurrent threads could cause a deadlock (http://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.5/en/glossary.html#glos_dea dlock), particularly with the INSERT...ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE form. The fix avoids deadlocks caused by the same row being accessed by more than one transaction. Deadlocks could still occur when multiple rows are inserted and updated simultaneously by different transactions in inconsistent order; those types of deadlocks require the standard error handling on the application side, of re-trying the transaction. (Bug #11759688, Bug #52020) * An incorrect InnoDB assertion could cause the server to halt. This issue only affected debug builds. The assertion referenced the source file btr0pcur.ic and the variable cursor->pos_state. (Bug #13358468) * Locale information for FORMAT() function instances was lost in view definitions. (Bug #63020, Bug #13344643) * The handle_segfault() signal-handler code in mysqld could itself crash due to calling unsafe functions. (Bug #54082, Bug #11761576) * Enabling myisam_use_mmap could cause the server to crash. (Bug #48726, Bug #11756764) * Concurrent access to ARCHIVE tables could cause corruption. (Bug #42784, Bug #11751793) On behalf of the MySQL Build Team, Joerg Bruehe/Hery Ramilison
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 11:40AM by hery ramilison.
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MySQL Community Server 5.5.20 has been released
January 11, 2012 11:29AM
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The Week in Games is back but, as is expected in January, we don't have much to share. The western release of Anarchy Reigns is the lone console title. It doesn't look like things pick up again until next week, when DmC: Devil May Cry arrives.
• Sesame Street TV - Season 2 (360 Kinect)
• Nat Geo TV - Season 2 (360 Kinect)
• Anarchy Reigns (360, PS3)
• Forbidden Secrets: Alien Town (PC download)
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