text:
Kate (www.kate1975.wordpress.com) wrote a post about child sexual abuse as an adult. This weekend it will be 16 years since my father last sexually abused me.
*Sexual Trigger*
The first weekend in July in 1994 I was 28 years old and my parents drove to my home, unexpectedly, with a rented truck and my aunt and uncle and emptied out my home and said I had to move in with them. I don't know exactly why or at least I don't remember. That night in the Holiday Inn motel my 2 year-old son was sleeping next to me when I felt something on my leg. It was 2:45am and my father was in my bed, had pulled back the covers and pulled up my nightshirt. He was molesting me and I think would have done worse if I hadn't woken up. I said "No more.", pulled down my night shirt, and put the covers back on me.
I didn't say "No more" like an empowered you-can't-do-that-to-me-anymore woman. I said it, and meant it, as a very tired, betrayed, fed up, hopeless, single mother, depressed, just-leave-me-alone woman.
I feel embarrassed that it happened and that I didn't have enough self confidence to protect the toddler next to me, much less myself. I realize I was still, or had reverted back to, a sexually abused child frame of mind.
My son doesn't know that his grandfather did that to me while he was lying next to me. Someday I would like to tell him, though.
It took me several months and three therapists and a psychiatrist to finally find someone who could help me. As Kate wrote, it's difficult to find information or insight for people who are sexually abused well into adulthood. However I did, but it still took 14 years to really get on the right track therapeutically.
So, Kate got me thinking, and I feel it's an important issue to think about, and I'm very glad she brought it up.
Last night I had a very graphic dream about something my mother did which was sexually abusive and as a child never understood.Then this morning I received the following email from my her:
"Dear Lisa,
I want to start by saying that I know that you are angry at us for something we have done and I want to say that what ever it was , we are sorry and we really do love you very much and pray that some day you will forgive us.
I want you to know that your dad is ill and in the hospital. I just got home from the emergency room and he is being admitted. He is diagnosed with pancreatitis and they are doing an MRI tomorrow and calling in the GI doctors and pancreatic surgeon to evaluate the MRI tomorrow. At this time we do not know what it is, but with his history of cancer we are concerned. I will let you know what is going on.
Love Mom"
After hubby and I read it two things occurred to us:
1. She wants me to confront her so she can try and be penitent so I will forgive them, and
2. She realizes that my dad may not be around for much longer and she will be alone and it's starting to scare her, so she needs to try and connect with me (and maybe my drug-addict sister) to take care of her.
I just wanted to note that she did not give the name of a hospital, a phone number or anything. That's what she does, though. She leaves out pertinent information to make you go to her and then makes you do things for her while she soaks up the drama.
Several years ago hubby and I knew what we would say when she comes asking for help – "We're sure you'll find a nice retirement home.". It's not our problem, it's not our responsibility.
Thinking about my dad dying didn't make me angry or depressed. Rather, I felt relief, hope and freedom. It just washed over and inside me. He hasn't tried to contact me in months which is nice. If he is dying and wishes to see me I won't go. I expect there may be phone calls from relatives, but it's none of their business and I'm happy to tell them so.
I feel hopeful after reading other blogs and how they reacted to their father's deaths. We'll be okay and we'll feel safer and that's always a good thing.
Parental Gaslighting and Maintaining Boundaries
March 2, 2011
It has been difficult finding my voice, but it was behind the couch the whole time. (c'mon…laugh…it was cute…)
Hubby and I made a decision last year about how to end contact with my parents. We chose to do it step-by-step and thus far it is working. We also knew that my parents would work very hard to regain some control over me and that it would be difficult to ride through in the short term. I told him that they would, at least through their words, play a pseudo-legal game as a threat, even if they just hint at it. And so they have already. It's just their game, and it is only words from desperate people, and we're handling it okay. They like to threaten (even if it's a subtle threat) and manipulate. They're special that way.
A few therapy sessions ago my therapist said that we could consider legal avenues if we feel it necessary and I would have her support.
So anyway…I know many people don't agree with the way we are handling this, but we feel it is the best way at this time. We know how my parents think and so far have been ahead of their games, remained safe and in control, and have support. Those issues alone are so very important. Had we suddenly ended contact it would have created far more complicated problems. Situations are different and this is working best for our situation.
This is the email we received last weekend:
> To: "Lisa"
> Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2011 1:17:32 PM
> Subject: VISITATION RIGHTS
> As grandparents, we hereby insist that you pick a day, Saturday or Sunday, between now and March 31st, to allow us to visit with your family. If you're lucky, we may bring a 'token' for you, as a recognition of your birth.
> Please consider, and reply at your earliest.
> Dad
My response:
> April 3rd or April 10th is best for us. No need to bring a 'token' for anything, we're fine.
And then:
>Hi honey,
>We will see you on April 3rd, what time is good for you? We will not bring any 'token', we are just bringing the birthday presents we got you, so if you do not get a card on your birthday, please do not think we forgot. We would not forget your birthday Let us know a good time.>Love you, Mom
I don't acknowledge my parent's birthdays and my mom recently had one. That's what her condescending little jab is about. The subject "VISITATION RIGHTS" is a pseudo-legal threat from them. Writing the words out is supposed to slip into my subconscious and bend me to their will. I'm serious. That's how they think. As if they're spies or something.
My therapist agrees with our approach and the way I am keeping boundaries and control.
An important realization over the past week is the fact that my parents gaslighted me. By constantly telling me, as well as family and friends, I am a liar and a faker and threatening me besides made it impossible to accept the belief in my own existence. If what I went through happened, and yet I'm being barraged with "You're always making things up.", "You never tell the truth.", "No one can ever trust what you say.", "Stop faking it. You're not really hurt.", it's no surprise I can't tell what is real. One incident in particular stands out. My parents took the day off work to meet with my 2nd grade teacher and tell her how I constantly lie, so anything I may have told her is unbelieveable. I don't remember what I told my teacher, just the meeting. Accepting this truth also brought with it sensations of being choked and dry heaves. No anxiety though, and only a single thought of self-harming.
No one else in my life has not believed me or told me to shut up and stop lying. No one else has questioned what I believed happened in any circumstance. My parents constantly played these head games to the point where I question my own exsitence.
It is such a relief to understand this. I feel like "Yay! I'm not totally nuts, just broken!". Broken I think I can work with. Being insane means "Why bother?" to me.
For the most part, life sucks, but it's workable. I'm not in my happy space yet and these understandings and other crap are extremely tiring. I don't know if this is a good post, but I am curious if anyone else went through something similar with their parents. I am also very nervous about what the next phase of healing will be like. Today I feel like I took a big step forward and banished some of my negative ways of thinking. Ways of thinking that were not even mine to begin with.
Abuser visit, Super Tai & a question
November 29, 2010
The new Thanksgiving plan (for anyone who reads my blog) was terrific, and everyone is invited here for next year. Bring your own sleeping bags, though. 😉
The past week or so has been an exercise in coping. Most of it was in preparation for my abusers visit to my home yesterday. It was their standard visit – some Sunday, from 1-3pm. It has been five months since I have spoken to them, and nine months (I think) since they visited my home, although occasionally emails were exchanged. I expected this visit to be a major triggering event, so we established boundaries, physical and what-not. Over the weekend my husband and I composed an email that would end all verbal and physical contact with them, but still allow some contact with the kids (they have no contact with them anyway) because we knew that my parents would invoke their Grandparents Rights just to be assholes.
I emailed Tai and asked her to read over the email because she had recently ended contact with her mother and I really needed some input (She was awesome, as usual.). It should be easy to do this, but it's not, and I want to be careful and cover all my bases. Here is the draft of the email I wrote. I haven't sent it yet:
*After many months of personal deliberation and years of therapy I have decided that in order to heal myself and make the best out of my life I am ending all verbal and physical contact with the two of you, as well as the rest of my family. The damage you have done to body and psyche has made it extremely difficult to simply find my way through life, much less succeed the way I wish to. Ending any and all relationships with you will help me move through my troubled self and regain what is left. I no longer need you in my life, and I no longer want you in my life in any capacity.
I know this decision will not come as a complete surprise to the two of you, so don't pretend it does. I have wasted enough of my life simply patching up what the two of you have done, and I must move on. I feel no responsibility towards you or any family member, and I have no regrets making this decision. It is the best, most positive decision I can ever make. This is my personal decision that I have reached alone for my own health and well-being.
I don't care if or how you choose to explain my decision to anyone. I don't care how you feel about my decision. I don't care about you, and I am choosing you out of my life.
I invite you to maintain contact with my children but I fully expect you to respect and abide by my decisions.
In good conscience I am returning the Christmas gifts you gave me so there are no false pretenses.
You may write to my email address, but do not expect any immediate response.
Most Sincerely,
This email wasn't sent because the creatures that came to my home yesterday were old, bitter, feeble, sick, powerless, ugly, beaten, and no threat. I maintained my boundaries, did not offer them food or drink, did not allow them to go anywhere else but my kitchen, did not laugh or respond to anything they said, maintained eye contact, did not start any conversation at all, offered no information about myself, hubby, or the kids, etc.. Towards the end my father offered me an envelope of cash and I told him that I didn't want his money, and that really embarrassed him (I haven't accepted any money from them in years. I even mail it back to them if they try to put it in a card.). I wouldn't touch them when they left and I held the door and ushered them out. At no time did they ask why I haven't called, or when I would stop down to their house (I haven't been there in over a year.). Even on their way out the door there was no, "Be sure to call me!", or, "I'll talk to you soon!".
I was so busy doing those things that my husband said they looked very nervous and scared. He told me, "You were completely in charge and they knew it and it scared the shit out of them! That was great!". So, now I'm wondering if sending that email is necessary at this point. It felt so good to do what I did and not be triggered, not feel guilty, and not feel like I had to justify anything. The idea of watching them wither away mired in their own shit, knowing I'm safe and in control and have the support of my husband is enough for now I think. I'm saving that email, though, until I really need it.
I would appreciate any thoughts about how I handled this. I honestly don't feel like I chickened out. Rather, it was empowering to be in control and not be triggered, or spend the rest of the afternoon hiding under the covers. I feel good. I feel stronger. I hope this lasts for a few days, but I know I could crumble if there is an internal backlash. Ending all contact was so important a couple of days ago, but it doesn't feel as important now. Has anyone had a similar experience? Should I have ended all contact anyway?
Mom Memories *Control & Medical Triggers*
August 9, 2010
I've written about my hatred for my mother before, but that stupid article I read yesterday morning kept bringing up memories of her negligence, and it was hard to stop the flow. My mother is an RN, but you'd never guess it from the way she parents. I have many memories of calling one of my aunts (who are also RNs) for medical advice because I knew my mother would either lie or do nothing.
During my first semester in college I caught mono from the girl across the hall. I was carried to the infirmary, taken to the hospital, and then had to wait a day before my mother told anyone that I was sick. Then my dad drove the six hours to get me. No medicine was given because they didn't have parental permission and it wasn't a life-threatening condition. I did end up with a 105 fever, my liver swelling so you could see it popping out of my belly, and mono-hepatitis. I can't donate blood because of that.
My mother decided to make a salad and only fed my father and myself. It was made with raw meat and I became sick right away. I was very ill, couldn't work or go to school, and no one else knew I was sick until my aunt (also an RN) visited. She threw me in the back seat and drove me to the hospital, all the while trying to figure out why my mother hadn't done that sooner. In only a few days I'd lost 12 pounds and then spent several days in the hospital healing up. The entire incident was blamed on me.
Those are the two incidents that often play out when I think of mom. Dozens of other times she wouldn't clean cuts, give me basic medicine (unless it was rectally), or feed me.
That is her medical negligence. Her psychological, verbal, and emotional abuse are on par with dad's sexual abuse. It's hard to believe I'm here. I think I'm doing okay writing about it. My coffee cup hasn't been thrown across the room and I have no urge to self-injure. Those are good things. There is internal turmoil, though, and I'll deal with that when I'm done writing.
We were watching a "Dirty Jobs" DVD last night and one of the episodes talked about how a red oak's roots will push through rocks to root, grow over one hundred feet tall, and live for hundreds of years. Eventually I would like to see myself as strong and durable as a red oak, living when few else could survive, and providing warmth and building material for others. Weird metaphor, but I like it, and maybe someday I'll believe it.
I'm all mixed-up *Trigger*
August 5, 2010
Monday I remembered what they said when they hurt me in college. I already had the flashbacks a few weeks ago, and the details have been filling in ever since. I saw the common room, the curtains, and their faces. Nothing.
Tuesday afternoon I drove past the house where he started the sexual abuse and saw that it had been torn down and a small parking lot was in its place. Nothing.
Later that afternoon I had a flashback. I remembered where I was, what happened, and why I know so much about ceilings and ductwork. I heard the voice, felt the pain and the confusion. Nothing.
I can't bridge the memory with the emotions. It still seems like it happened to someone else, but intellectually I know it was me.
During therapy today we talked about that bridge and how I will eventually get there. I could feel the emotions trying to surface, but another voice broke in and said, "No time for that. We have to go to Gander Mountain and the grocery store after this. You can't go there as a mess.". I told her about that voice and she feels (so do I) that I'm protecting my kids more than myself. I don't want them to see me broken. We agreed that until the kids start school again it may be very difficult to make that connection.
Now I'm home and it feels like a battle is raging inside. Some want to scream, some want to forget, and some are wondering what we are going to do with the ground beef for dinner. Cooking Mommy is winning.
A Bit About the Visit
July 6, 2010
I understand that many people no longer have contact with their abusers and do not understand why other people continue to interact with them. I have ended contact with everyone but those who started it all – my primary abusers. It is a very complicated relationship, but over the past two years I have been severing the ties. One of the reasons is that if I suddenly ended everything they would be here, at my house every chance they got, and most likely pursuing legal action to get grandparent visitation rights, and the last thing I want is them alone with my children. That is just one reason, and if it works for me so be it. It's taking a little longer for me to end contact, causing a little more instability internally, but it's the way hubby and I are doing it for now.
There are a few things I wanted to write about their visit here the other day. I do not go to their house and having them here on my home ground with boundaries in place and support from hubby was good. I do not engage them in conversation, offer them food or drink, or make them feel welcome. I am not rude, either. I'm just kind of "there".
My mother was diagnosed manic-depressive in the early 70's. If you wish to read more about her and how I feel you can find some entries here:
As far as my father goes, I'm not ready to write about what he has done to me. I have a great deal of trouble telling my therapist and often write events on paper and just hand it to her.
The visit went a little like this:
*they bought me clothes in size XXL and I wear a L. They know that.
*they gave me food which was undercooked, and a sour-cream based dip that had been in a 90-degree trunk for over an hour, tried to get me to eat it and I just set it aside and threw it away later
*they gave the kids gifts that were old and broken and clothes that do not fit them
*they kept bringing conversations back to my son and how wonderful he is. (He is a terrific kid, don't get me wrong.) He is apparently the perfect son they couldn't have.
*brought me half-dead flowers
That's just a little of it, and she usually brings those sorts of things so it was not new. The conversation was very fakey-fakey and forced. I believe by the time they left that they understand I am finished with them. At least I hope so.
That's all I can write for now.
Ramblings, Part 2B
July 5, 2010
A couple of months ago I left two books on one of our bookshelves in the hopes that my husband would catch a glimpse of them – The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook and Got Parts?. I was nervous about telling him my DID diagnosis and I thought I'd be oh, so subtle about getting around to telling him. It turns out that he not only saw the books, he also took a peek. The past week he has been calling me different names jokingly. If he can't find what he's looking for he says something like "Maybe it was Gloria who put it away.", or something similar. We finally talked about it for a short time last night, and although he doesn't believe I have DID (which is why I was reluctant to tell him) he does believe I have mixed episode rapid cycling bipolar disorder. He does understand my abusive background, and he is supportive of me (even when he is behaving like an ass), and I can count on him when things get bad. He does feel I am extremely dissociative, just not to a DID degree. I knew he wouldn't agree and I can't tell him exactly what's going on inside, and that does hurt. Maybe he will see it differently in the future.
The abusers were at my house yesterday and they brought me things which I promptly threw away after they left. It was very fakey-fakey and pointless, but when they left I felt okay and did not have a meltdown. I made sure that all the younger parts I could round up were in a super-safe place and not aware of what was happening and that made such a difference. You could see in the abusers faces that they knew I was finished with them and that was a relief. Hubby was also there the whole time, but at the end of the day we were exhausted.
I complain about hubby a lot. He is an asshole, very self-centered, and has been abusive in the past (sometimes we marry what we know). On the flip side he is supportive, he loves me and his children, and he would kill for us. It's confusing. I wish I could confide about my DID in him. There is only my therapist to talk to about that and I often feel lost without someone else to confide in about that. Too bad there isn't a Buy-A-Friend store nearby……
Recently I started making jewelry again and I've been using broken pieces along with the good pieces since that is how I feel. I'm also using necklaces or bracelets that have broken and incorporating them into jewelry, too. It's no big deal, I just like stringing things together and wire-wrapping, and thought that would be a neat theme to play with. Plus, with children, there are often broken things around to work with. Hmm….that may a good project for the kids, turning our broken jewelry into new things…… This is what I did yesterday – the earrings are made from broken necklaces, and the bracelet is made from some broken clear quartz and green flourite and pieces that I couldn't use in other projects:
I was also thinking, since I am having great difficulty with any other kind of child art therapy, that I may make a blanket out of scrap yarn. A bunch of leftover pieces put together into one. I wonder if I can't do the coloring, children's crafts, etc., because I never did as a child so I have no clue. I don't know.
I've rambled on enough. May your day be pleasant and banal!
Guess Who's Coming For An Afternoon Visit?
July 3, 2010
Tomorrow the abusers are stopping by. I have not actually spoken to them in 3&1/2 months, but have sent curt e-mails to them. Everything is very structured – the time they will be here, where they will be, where my husband will be, and the time they will leave. I'm not very worried or concerned, but I am expecting the catholic guilt-trip my mother likes to use, and the "your grandmother will be dead soon" speech. I know what I would like to say, but I won't because it would cause more problems and I'm not going to deal with that right now. I'm not worried about them coming here, either. I just don't care. I've written them off, they know it, and they will behave like they are drowning and I need to save them. The visit will be chock-full of what my duties and responsibilities should be, eyes averting when the truth sneaks in, forced laughter, fakey smiles, etc., and trying to get me to make promises about whatever. It's been played out this way for over 20 years. In the past I've given in and paid dearly for it, even to the point of being sexually abused again when I was 28 years old.
I think they really understand that they have no power over me anymore and this visit may be a desperate grasp at getting some of that power back. That's okay. I feel ambivalent and apathetic now but it could be a rough few days after they leave.
So, I'll pop the Xanax before they arrive, make sure hubby is nearby, fake smile my way through it, and say things like "Perhaps", "Maybe", and most importantly, "No.". I no longer even need to practice that last response anymore and that feels good.
Sewing lessons
May 10, 2010
Recently I began taking sewing lessons and it's very weird. One moment it comes very easily and I have memories of doing it years and years ago. At other times it is extremely triggering and I cry, throw a fit, and shred fabric and thread and throw scissors, etc.. My mother was very good at sewing and she made a lot of my clothes from birth to about nine years old. However, she would never teach me how to sew. She never actually taught me anything, except what not to do as a parent.
It seems like I used a sewing machine in the past, but an old-fashioned one on a wooden sewing table. I have a few memory glimpses of that. When I sew I feel good because I know if I need something (like the ever-important PSP cover with pockets to hold games, or super-secure MP3 player protector) I can make it myself. It's the same with crochet, knitting, spinning, cooking, etc.. I really need to know how things originate and see if I can learn to do it myself.
Does anyone else feel compelled to do that?
Last week my therapist told me to basically "back-off" from trying to figure everything out and relax for a bit. She said there is no rush, I will not heal any faster, and my brain needs a break. I told her I've always felt the need to know everything, and I remarked that I'm dying to know what the pictures are that she has wrapped up in her office. If someone put a box in front of me I would go nuts wondering what is inside, and whatever it may be it would be great. Big, little, whatever. It's the "finding out" that is exciting and I need that.
My mother never taught me anything. I have always wondered why she wouldn't teach me how to be a woman, draw (she was originally an art major), do my hair, cook, sew, wash clothes, converse, interact socially, etc.. How come I was not worth the time and energy to be taught how to be a functional human being? When I think about it lately, I know I'm well-rounded because I have done absolutely everything myself.
I remember watching my mother laugh at me when I made mistakes because I had no idea what to do. She let me walk out of the house with terrible hair because at 10 years old I didn't know how to use a curling iron properly, and she never showed me. She liked to demean me in front of her friends and I wonder if that ever made her friends uncomfortable. At this point in her life all of those "friends" she had don't speak with her anymore. The same is true with my father. People have deserted them and that is the only justice I will ever have.
Last night I was crying because I am having trouble figuring out how my PSP cover should be secured. Buttons, a zipper, velcro….. That led to a "I can't do anything", "I'm so stupid", "What is wrong with me" tirade. My husband was nearby and he made me sit down, spoke softly, and helped me calm down. I didn't sleep last night, and I sexually self-injured, and I feel beaten and broken. The dreams I had before I got out of bed around 1am were in a concentration camp and I could smell people dying around me and I knew I was next. That will be fun to interpret!
I think I will weave a ribbon through the PSP cover and tie it (I just thought of that as I was typing). That would be pretty. I really want to sew well. Maybe it will be good therapy in the end.


text:
Hello! I am an artist that has been creating as long as forever is. For the past ten years photography is and remains an essential element of what I do. Give me a camera, any camera, whether film or digital, large or small, professional or toy. All are incredible tools that help in producing what I see.
As far as inspiration; the Romans and the Greeks held a belief that inspiration was given by an eternal divine entity, an attendant spirit outside of oneself that came to the artist assisting them with their work. The artist is a vehicle for that inspiration. I embrace this concept, giving gratitude for the One who inspires me in all things."
"Those who seek beauty will find it" Bill Cunningham
I also believe in beauty.
I believe that sharing of beauty will make our lives all that much better.
Here is to hoping what I bring makes your life better.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
AMG unleashes its full fury with the most powerful C-Class of all time
Downloads for this Press Release
Possessed by the new AMG brand claim, 'Driving performance', with design that both frightens and inspires at once, AMG has summoned technology and driving dynamics from the world of motorsport like no other AMG model to create the most powerful C-Class of all time.
The C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series 6.3-litre V8 engine's howl will strike fear into the hearts of all that dare oppose it. With its maelstrom of hefty torque delivering tremendous pulling power and responsiveness, the raging AMG beast catapults to the edge of the abyss, from zero to 100 km/h in just 4.2 seconds (all data provisional).
The Black Series flaring snout delivers air to the large cooling modules through intakes in the striking front apron, whilst spitting engine heat from two openings in the aluminium bonnet. Broad, low, brawny and bulging rear haunches mean the C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series is poised for attack, while front struts emphasise the fierce vehicle's width.
Adjustable AMG coil-over sports suspension, functional standard equipment and an AMG high-performance compound braking system help keep those that command such ferocity from oblivion.
For those that wish to tempt fate, the AMG Track Package is available as an option to enhance the insane power and driving dynamics even further. It boasts sports tyres and active rear-axle transmission cooling, plus the AMG Aerodynamics package including flics, a functionally tuned front splitter and an adjustable carbon-fibre rear aerofoil.
From the first glance it is clear that the C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series is made for ambitious laps on a closed race track. In visual terms the new high-performance vehicle is reminiscent of the SLS AMG GT3 customer sports car and symbolises the transfer of technology from the sphere of motorsport, which has been part of the corporate philosophy of Mercedes-AMG GmbH for 44 years.
With its new C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series, AMG is presenting an exciting sports car for enthusiasts that crave horsepower, and this marks the impressive continuation of the Black Series strategy, which began back in 2006. AMG, the performance brand of Mercedes-Benz Cars, is once again demonstrating its expertise when it comes to designing and developing emotionally appealing high-performance cars.
"AMG has its roots in international motorsport. The new C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series is the best proof there is for the permanent transfer of technology from the race track to the road. The numerous successes in the DTM, the customer sports range featuring the SLS AMG GT3 and our commitment to Formula 1, where we have been providing the Official F1™ Safety Car and the Official F1™ Medical Car for the past 15 years, continuously spur on our engineers and technicians. The C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series embodies the new AMG brand claim, Driving Performance, like no other AMG model," said Frank Bernthaler, Director, Sales and Marketing, Mercedes-Benz Cars, Middle East & Levant.
The new C 63 AMG Coupé Black Series goes into production in January 2012, and will be available in the region in Q1.
Note: For additional information please download the full press release in Word Format from the 'Downloads' section above.
For more information, please contact:
Nick Langmead
Press Contact
[email protected]
Mob: +971 50 8847964
Bassam Saifi
Press Contact
[email protected]
Mob: +971 50 2838085
Further information from Mercedes-Benz is available online at: www.media.daimler.com


text:
Microsoft still eyeing Yahoo search business
Conservatives commit to high-speed broadband action plan
Satyam crisis puts CIO eyes on India
HMRC appoints ex-Tesco CIO to board
Satyam staff exodus as fraud unravels
Microsoft to issue single security patch next week
CES: Panasonic trumpets first 3D HD home entertainment system
Skype brings VoIP to Google Android and 100 Java mobiles
Christmas Day a shoppers' favourite for online purchases
Japanese electronics firms set up US national recycling scheme
Tech sector job cuts could signal end-user gains
CES: Dell unveils home theatre laptops
ISPs told to store all users' e-mails for a year
Cisco, Brocade Fibre Channel strategies differ
New ideas wanted for increasing diversity in IT
TJ Maxx hacker jailed for 30 years in Turkey
Video: Marks and Spencer whistleblower remains defiant
Most UK broadband far slower than advertised
Why did EDS cough up £25m to HMRC?
BT broadens free call numbers
CES: Toshiba brings web content to larger TV screens
CES: Toshiba shows off green credentials
Satyam emergency conference reveals recovery plans
Smash old hard drives for total data security, says Which?
Microsoft: the year ahead
Intel results: Atom bomb blows hole in Q4 earnings
Cisco expands multimedia home networking
Troubled Satyam needs cash
US Congress urged to invest $30bn in IT infrastructure
Online growth fuels Sainsbury's Christmas success
Dell to axe 1,900 jobs in Ireland
SAP demands that Oracle releases software profit margins in legal case
Microsoft may be planning to get Yahoo through back door
FSA urges UK banks to make £1bn IT investment
IT firms encouraged to enter apprentice awards
Lenovo to slash thousands of jobs
Windows 7 beta now available
Documenting backup and storage practices
Hacker gadgets, tools make data leakage prevention more difficult
Unified comms not a necessity
Cisco extends collaboration services to the iPhone
Capita offshores application development
Demand for IT staff plummets
IBM employees brace for thousands of job cuts
Barclays cuts another 400 IT workers
Glasgow financial district first for subway mobile access
Salesforce.com downtime: Twitter keeps users in the loop
Financial firms at risk of not backing up data as job losses spiral
IT services firms expand offshore operations
Salaries down for IT pros, says Janco survey
Figleaves.com goes to Citrix for optimum coverage
IBM spreads collaboration offering on Mac platform
Businesses warned of Middle East-related cyber attacks
Sun acquires Q-layer to expand cloud computing offering
Satyam chief B Ramalinga Raju admits to fixing the outsourcer's books
Orange provides extra juice to mobile broadband network
Business intelligence leaders move to mobile computing
Marks & Spencer confirms 1,200 job losses
EDS ends tax credits saga with £25m payoff to HMRC
Scotland and Northern Ireland e-crime capitals of UK
Macworld 2009: Apple smashes laptop battery barrier
Videoconferencing solves e-health dilemma
E-mails lure tax payers to fake HMRC website
Logitech to cut workforce by 15%
Atos Consulting offers tips on boosting business performance in a recession
Vodafone wins £5m National Grid contract
One in five directors clueless on software licensing
Marks and Spencer bugged staff, says GMB
Gartner's 10 CIO resolutions to survive 2009
Police get another £30m for mobile data devices
M&S rumoured to be planning job cuts
Vuzix delivers big screen sunglasses
DWP IT veteran John Priest awarded CBE
Barclays to roll out contactless debit cards to all customers
Barack Obama and Britney Spears among Twitter hack victims
Police map crime geography
Celebrity Big Brother uses RFID technology to track housemates
Cab firm slashes hardware costs with e-mail archiving
HP updates mini notebook
Private sector involvement in Big Brother database revealed in July 2008
Police can hack into home computers remotely
Internet Explorer market share slips to 68%
Twitter hit by phishing and spam attacks
Cost to trump sensitivity in new government IT contracts
Data loss victims expected to more than double in 2009
Apple admits Steve Jobs will not attend Macworld because of illness
European Commission plans company e-invoicing proposals to cut carbon footprints
Arise Dame Wendy Hall
Hedge funds slash IT spending
Isaca celebrates 40 years
Wikipedia raises more than $6m from donations to keep going
Security risk in Windows 7 pirates
Microsoft applauds Chinese counterfeit software prison sentences
Broadband drops 25% at peak times
Digital jobs and high-speed broadband to head government job creation plan
Dell creates global business sales operations to better serve customers
Faster Payments Service enjoys healthy half-year growth
Web users warned over security of P2P Windows 7 OS file
Microsoft job cuts: thousands of UK staff at risk
Tiered storage steps up its game


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Pain Relief
We use an integrated approach to Pain Management, utilizing body acupuncture, auriculotherapy or ear acupuncture, Korean Hand Therapy, the Bio-Mat™, magnets, micro current stimulation, heat, ice, Chinese herbs and homeopathy. This integrated approach is effective for both acute and chronic pain.
Several principles unify all these treatment protocols:
- Any part of the body can be used to treat any other part of the body. This requires imaging one part of the body on another part. For instance, look at the back of one's hand. Imagine that it represents one's low back. If a person is experiencing sciatica, what part of the hand might be "active" for imaging?
- Where there is pain there is a point. In the previous example, if a person"s sciatica was running down the side of the leg, the practitioner would palpate for tenderness along the sides of the back of the hand between the 2nd. and 3rd. metacarpals, and between the 3rd. and 4th. metacarpals. The same principle applies to ear acupuncture – use the somatic representation to find the tender point.
Body Acupuncture
Auriculotherapy/Ear Acupuncture
Ear acupuncture uses needles, magnets, seeds or micro-stimulation to treat health conditions in distant parts of the body. As a microsystem one part of the body can represent another part of the body. This is an essential feature of acupuncture . For example, according to auricular microsytem theory, it is not that direct connections between the ear and and the foot exist, but that nerves from the ear connect to reflex centers in the brain which send neurological reflex pathways to the spinal cord and then to the spine or foot. For these reasons, in my practice, I use ear acupuncture for all pain related symptoms. Another common treatment using ear acupuncture is for addiction related symptoms associated with quitting a substance.
Korean Hand Therapy
Chinese Herbs
The Bio-Mat Professional™ is made with natural amethyst. When the amethyst is heated, it emits long wave infrared rays that penetrate the body 5.5 to 6 inches, not just the surface. As a result, greater ranges of heat can be used. The rays not only benefit the muscles on the surface of the body but all cells including blood vessels, lymph glands and nerves in the deep parts of our body. These rays vitalize the biological function of our cells and increase circulation, relieve neuralgia, backache, arthritis pain, eliminate toxins and carbon dioxide from our blood, and perform an antibacterial function.
Click here for Bio-mat information (PDF)


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Sizes may run small; please choose a size up.This fitted high waisted midi skirt with faux leather belt will fit amazingly on the body. It is made with stretch that will leave you comfortable all day long. Wear it with a blouse tucked in for a more dressed up outfit or with a bodysuit for a night out with the girls.
Sizing Info


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You must Sign In or Register for a GunBroker.com account to take action on this item.
Sig Sauer 1911 "We The People" 45 ACP
|Tomball, TX 77377
Buyer pays estimated shipping for the following option(s): Ground
No international shipments
|Personal Check, Visa / MasterCard, Discover, USPS Money Order, Money Order, Certified Check
|Applicable Taxes and Fees
Seller must collect taxes / fees from the following states:
|Inspection/ Return Policy
AS IS - No refund or exchange
The seller of this item assumes all responsibility for this listing. You must contact the seller to resolve any questions or concerns before placing a bid. Payment must be made using U.S. dollars ($) unless otherwise stated in the listing. Firearms may only be shipped to a licensed dealer (FFL Holder). Some listed items may not be legal in every state. Complete your purchase within the law.
Need more information? Need to email the seller? Ask Seller a Question.
Sig Sauer 1911 "We The People 1776" 45 ACP
5" Barrel (1911T-45-WTP)
This is very important, especially for those living in restricted states such as California, Colorado, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Maryland, Hawaii, Massachusetts, & D.C. If you do not know if the firearm/item is legal, check with your transfer dealer, please! If you purchase it, you are required to pay for it or pay a restocking fee that is based on the specific listing.
*****All firearms listed in our auctions are for sale in our retail location, and we reserve the right to terminate the auction should the firearm be sold in our retail location.*****
Please email if you have any questions, or if you see an error or a discrepancy in the description, please let us know so we can make corrections.
As we state with all our pre-owned firearm listings, this item is being sold "As Is" and should be inspected by a competent gunsmith before shooting it. Additionally, with used firearms there is no warranty, guarantee or speculation on the functionality of the firearm. They have been looked-over, and no obvious issues were noted. We do however offer extended warranties for purchase on all weapons we sell. Please see below for Extended Warranty Terms & Conditions as well as pricing. If you do not purchase an extended warranty from us then All firearms, must be returned to the manufacturer for any warranty or repair issues. Condition "grading" as assigned or listed may be different than what an individual buyer may expect. Therefore, please look at the pictures and if you have any questions on the finish or overall condition ask prior to bidding as all sales are final and condition grading is not a basis for a return or adjustment.
Please note: To process correctly, you must enter your address information exactly as it is shown on your credit card, and/or listed on your account by your financial institution.
Transfer dealer's FFL's may be faxed to (281)949-6114 and must include their telephone number, email address and contact person as well as your name and the auction number or order number.
We must have an actual copy of your transfer dealer's FFL to complete your order. Selecting a dealer that is listed on the GB site does not negate or by-pass that requirement for the buyer to have his selected dealer send a copy of his FFL to us OR to check with us to see if we have a copy on file.
Extended Warranty Terms & Conditions:
With the purchase a Tomball Pawn Extended Warranty the covered firearm will be eligible for free repair or replacement by Tomball Pawn & Jewelry for as long as the purchaser owns the firearm subject to the following terms and conditions
Warranty covers factory defect and excludes abuse, misuse, failure to maintain, or any other damage cause by misuse, accident, or other non-shooting event.
Warranties must be purchased at the time of purchased of the covered firearm and the receipt is proof of purchase
Firearms that are new at the time of purchase will be replaced unless replacement is not available in which case the firearm will be repaired at no cost to the purchaser.
Warranty covers all shipping, transfer fees, repair and/or replacement costs for the covered firearm.
In the event a firearm covered by this warranty can neither be replaced or repaired the maximum reimbursable replacement cost is $1,000.00.
Tomball Pawn & Jewelry reserves the right to not offer the Extended Warranty on certain firearms.
Purchaser agrees to follow all recommended manufacturer maintenance guidelines.
This warranty does not apply to any optics or accessories associated with the covered firearm. Nor does it extend past repair or replacement of the firearm.
Pricing: New Long gun = $9.95 Used Long Gun = $12.95 New Handgun = $19.95 Used Handgun = $24.95
PISTOL FIREARM Brand: SIG SAUER Model: 1911 WTP Action: 45 ACP Barrel: SINGLE BARREL Caliber: 45 ACP - 1911 WE THE PEOPLE 45ACP 5"1911T-45-WTP (ID: G-I-335350 )
Need more information? Need to email the seller? Ask Seller a QuestionSeller provided no "Additional Terms of Sale"
Characteristics Determined Based on UPC
If you see errors in this information please email us at [email protected]. Please specify "Data Issue with UPC on Item #824200782" in the subject line.


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#WoolxinAction Featured Team Member – Laura Catherine Edmondson
Woolx scoured the globe searching for intrepid adventurers to test out Woolx gear in the most extreme conditions, we've assembled this group of globetrotting daredevils into the #WoolxinAction team! Every month Woolx Life will feature our amazing Woolx in Action team members – This month meet – Laura Catherine Edmondson!
Laura Catherine grew up near the gorgeous Smoky Mountains in Knoxville, Tennessee. She's a lifelong hiker and camper who discovered rock climbing in 2015 while living in Wyoming; and she's been hooked ever since! She works on her climbing skills at the Obed in her home state of Tennessee, while traveling the U.S. and Mexico in a converted camper van, and on trips abroad to South East Asia and the Mediterranean.
You can follow along with Laura's adventures on her Instagram pages @laura.edmondson and @venturesinvagary. To get to know Laura better we asked her to fill out the new and improved "#WoolxinAction Questionnaire", read on to delve deeper into the mind of an extreme brand ambassador!
10 Questions w/ Woolx:
What inspired you to become an outdoor adventurer, did you grow up participating in a lot of outdoor activities with your family, or is it something you were drawn to on your own later?
I grew up outside the Smoky Mountains in East Tennessee and spent my summers camping and hiking with my family. I was also lucky enough to go to summer camp every year where I got to try rock climbing and backpacking.
Do you have any special plans, or trips in the works for 2016/17? Any big long term goals?
I am currently in the beginning stages of a 6 month climbing trip across the Western US and Mexico. [Editors note: Laura took this trip in the late summer and fall of 2016]
Our ambassadors come from all over the U.S., and we've got a few international team members too! What's your favorite local activity, or the best part about exploring the region you call home?
The climbing at the Obed in East Tennessee is incredible and not to be missed if you're in the area!
What is your most often worn, go-to Woolx item?
My Woolx Mia Tee!
Do you prefer solo activities, or do you like having partners on your adventures?
My favorite outdoor activity is climbing which is inherently a partner sport and I think having someone around to share the experience with is invaluable.
Do you have a personal motto, or words you live by?
"Make the unknown your home."
Pizza or tacos?
Taco pizza!
Summer or winter?
Mountains or coastline?
What place do you find yourself going back to over and over again? What place would you love to visit that you've never seen?
Grand Teton National Park is somewhere I am always drawn back to. I would love to climb in Split, Croatia and hope to cross it off my list in the next few years.
Thanks Laura! We can't wait to follow along with more of your adventures as you climb and explore the world! Keep checking in with Woolx Life to find out more about all of our awesome Woolx in Action Team members! You can keep up with team #WoolxinAction on Twitter and Instagram with @Woolxwool.


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When you need transponder key programming in Cincinnati, Cincinnati Car Locksmith is the company you should call.
We are well known providers of comprehensive auto locksmith solutions in Cincinnati. As a local company, our bond with the motoring community of Cincinnati is strong. We aim for full customer satisfaction on each and every job we undertake.
We are highly proficient at all that we do, our transponder key programming is therefore top class. The expert automotive locksmiths we work with can create duplicate transponder keys for you which are even better than the originals!
No Transponder Key Too Complex
With Cincinnati Car Locksmith you don't have to wonder if the locksmiths we work with can program the type of transponder key you use. They have the necessary know-how and equipment in order to duplicate any kind of transponder key, for any make or model vehicle.
Since transponder keys are used in order to help guard against auto theft it is a small wonder that they keep getting ever more sophisticated. After all, car thieves develop ways to overcome older technologies and so new measures must continuously be devised in order to keep your vehicle safe from them.
All auto manufacturers strive to incorporate the most cutting edge transponder key technology into the vehicles they market, not all auto locksmith service providers succeed in keeping up. With Cincinnati Car Locksmith, you can rest assured that we are on top of all the latest developments and so have all that it takes to program the transponder key you need.
Don't Pay More For Less
Since you know Cincinnati Car Locksmith can provide you with the type of top quality, highly professional service that's so important with regards to transponder key programming, you will be glad to know that we operate nonstop and that we guarantee a a swift arrival time to any location in or around Cincinnati. Cincinnati Car Locksmith's dispatch is always manned and ready to receive your call, we keep enough techs on duty at all times in order to ensure we have someone available for immediate response.
When you need transponder key services in Cincinnati, or any other auto locksmith service you may require, do not settle for anything but the high quality, competitively priced services we, at Cincinnati Car Locksmith, offer. We are fast, reliable and highly proficient, our rates are unbeatable and our service is highly efficient.
Naturally, the scope of competitively priced auto locksmith services includes far more than just transponder key programming, among the other services we offer are:
- Car lockout solutions (any type of vehicle)
- Opening trunks with keys locked inside
- Anything anti theft system related (solutions to all anti theft and central locking system related problems)
- Ignition switch rekeying (in lost car key situations, preventing the need to replace the entire ignition switch).
- Broken car key solutions (including extraction of keys which broke while still inserted in ignition switches or door locks)
- Lost car key solutions
- Car key duplication (any type of car key)


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National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coaching
About our Therapist
Like most holistic practitioners, Andrea started her path to naturopathy due to her own health issues; obesity and eczema. Andrea tried many diets and even started to run 5Ks, but nothing really helped. After extensive research she implemented a very simple method: cleansing her body's accumulated toxins with colonic irrigation and replacing nutrient deficiency through juice therapy. Andrea also started to focus on lasting lifestyle changes.
Her belief is that disease is caused by either "Toxicity" and/or "Deficiency". That is why colonic irrigation and juice therapy go hand in hand: by removing toxicity and replacing nutrient deficiency with the help of freshly extracted fruit and vegetable juices; pure whole foods; clean water a vast majority of modern diseases will improve dramatically.
The results of these simple steps were astonishing: not only did her eczema disappear, she also lost 2.5 stones. Her energy level increased, and she got her self-esteem back. This turned into a passion and she could not stop anymore. Andrea started to take courses and became:
• A Certified Health Coach through Dr. Sears Wellness Institute in the United States
• A Natural Juice Therapist through Juice Master Academy in the United Kingdom
• A Certified Colonic Hydro- Therapist through Dotolo Europe
My passion is to help others achieve similar results offering the following services:
• Lifestyle, Exercise, Attitude and Nutrition group classes
• One-on-one Juice Therapy / Health Coaching
• Juice Demonstrations for Groups
What is Colonic Hydrotherapy?
Colonic irrigation is the process of cleansing the colon by passing several gallons of water through it with the use of special equipment (I am using Dotolo's Toxygen machine). This has the effect of flushing out toxins, mucous, and even parasites that often build up over the passage of time. We should have one bowel movement for every meal that we eat; if not, we are not eliminating wastes completely, and if input exceeds output, then we will surely suffer the consequences at some point. Decomposing matter can cause a toxic condition and may lead to many health problems; at best will cause fatigue, lack of energy and premature ageing, and, at worst, can cause degenerative disease, among them allergies, and even cancer.
Removing large amounts of toxic matter relieves the patient and can lead to the alleviation of symptoms such as arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, candidiasis, diverticulitis, Crohn's disease, leaky gut syndrome, heart problems, migraine, allergies, bad breath, acne and other skin problems such as psoriasis, or eczema, asthma, cancer, particularly of the bowel, and a host of other illnesses. Colonic irrigation can help restore normal peristaltic action to a sluggish bowel, thus reducing the need for more hydrotherapy treatments over time. In addition, removing the layer of faecal matter which coats the intestines in many individuals allows improved assimilation of the nutrients from foods and can alleviate symptoms of vitamin and other nutrient deficiencies.
Description of treatment
Treatment: during colonic irrigation, a small speculum is passed into the patient's bowel through the rectum. This is attached to a tube, which leads to a tank or machine that pumps temperature-controlled filtered water into the colon at a controlled rate (to be controlled by either the practitioner or the patient). The patient will temporarily be filled with water up to the level of the entire colon. This process it is not painful. It triggers peristaltic action and the patient will begin to expel the water along with faecal matter back through the tube. During the treatment, the therapist will gently massage the patient's abdomen to help dislodge impacted faecal matter. Sanitation is vital to the process: the tube, pads and speculums are all disposable.
I am currently practicing Colonic Hydrotherapy at Kingston Natural Health Centre. Please check my profile in their website at: http://kingstonnaturalhealth.com/therapist/andrea-okos/ and make an appointment by sending me a message through my website at www.loveyourselfdetox.co.uk or calling my number at 07939 225 289 More information about colonic therapy: http://kingstonnaturalhealth.com/treatments/colonic-irrigation/
Many thanks for your guidance on juicing.
You have given me a clearer understanding of the benefits of juicing, how natural minerals absorb into your body and how to control fibres to achieve goals.
Not only advising about combinations of foods, you have been there at all times of the day to answer or resolve any questions I have thrown at you.
Through combinations you have given to achieve my goals, I am now beginning to wake up feeling a lot fresher and clearer minded. My fitness levels are forever increasing and I am remaining a lot more focused!
Wishing you a very successful journey ahead! – Stephen P.
Personally I was a bit sceptical when I first heard about juicing. My approach was: eat good, healthy, natural food, try to avoid the bad stuff, like eating / drinking anything that has artificial ingredients in it, that's the best that you can do for your health. What more could you do?
Then Andrea introduced me to juicing and explained me that it's benefits are more than getting the pure, good quality nutrients that we consume in the juice, but also that juicing gives a break to our digestive systems, and when that happens the body's built-in self-cleansing mechanism starts to work. I have not heard of this before, but it made a lot of sense.
I started experimenting with juicing under Andrea's supervision; and by now I really like it. I have done three day juicing sessions every two-three months; I can fit this in my schedule easily. I always feel much better after juicing, it's a refreshing experience. Thanks, Andrea! – Frank F.
Andrea is a very experienced and professional hydro-therapist, she makes the whole experience simple, relaxing, and ensures you feel at ease. I was very happy with the session, as well as the results. – Imogen S.
Hello everybody! I`m Bianca and Andrea is helping me to get rid of my sweet cravings and my addiction to junk food. I started the elimination diet about 1 month ago. Since then, I lost 12 pounds and about 4 inches around my bust, waist and hips. Also, I started exercising 3 times a week so the results will be amazing. Andrea helped me and is helping me whenever I have questions and dilemma. She is great with what she is doing, I trust her completely. She is always there to support you! I`m happy that I can work with her! I`ll keep you updated about my evolution! – Bianca
Andrea made me feel very comfortable throughout the process. She works with your own rhythm and we achieved a very good cleanse through the three colonic treatments. I would definitely recommend her to family and friends – TH
I would recommend Andrea highly who I have now visited 3 times for colonic irrigation. Andrea is a very calm caring lady who has huge passion for her job. The time taken in these sessions made me feel comfortably relaxed and at ease. I left the sessions feeling much healthier and I am looking forward to my next visit very soon! Thank you. – A.S.
Andrea is very professional, friendly, understands her subject very well and gives great nutritional advice. She made me feel at ease and comfortable. I had three sessions and each time I left feeling happier, more energetic and with a clear mind! Personally, I would recommend Andrea – her kind nature was lovely and I could not have chosen to go to a better person. – T.M.
Andrea's availability is usually Fridays – Sundays and some additional nights after 6:30 pm. Please make an appointment in advance, as slots fill up quickly.
Please call 07939 225 289 to make an appointment with Andrea.