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ukase(redirected from Ukaz)
Also found in: Thesaurus, Encyclopedia.
u·kase(yo͞o′kās′, -kāz′, yo͞o-kās′, -kāz′)
1. An authoritative order or decree; an edict.
2. A proclamation of a czar having the force of law in imperial Russia.
[French, from Russian ukaz, decree, from Old Church Slavonic ukazŭ, a showing, proof : u-, at, to + kazati, to point out, show.]
1. (Historical Terms) (in imperial Russia) an edict of the tsar
2. (Government, Politics & Diplomacy) (in imperial Russia) an edict of the tsar
3. (Government, Politics & Diplomacy) a rare word for edict
[C18: from Russian ukaz, from ukazat to command]
u•kase(yuˈkeɪs, -ˈkeɪz, ˈyu keɪs, -keɪz)
1. (in czarist Russia) an edict or order of the czar having the force of law.
2. any order or proclamation by an absolute or arbitrary authority.
[1720–30; < French < Russian ukáz, Old Russian ukazŭ, n. derivative of ukazati to show, indicate, assign]
ThesaurusAntonymsRelated WordsSynonymsLegend:
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|ukase - an edict of the Russian tsar
imperial decree - a decree issued by a sovereign ruler


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GiRL FACTORY'S Cristina Anderlini was selected by SHOOT! ONLINE to be featured in their 2012 WOMEN IN PRODUCTION series.
In this three-part series appearing in SHOOT's October, November and December issues, the magazine will explore the state of gender and race in commercial and entertainment production with insights from female and minority production and post company owners/executives, studio and agency execs and artisans. They will provide interesting research and share with their readership some fascinating personal journeys, including professional frustrations, triumphs and comical moments along the way. SHOOT searches out the realities and challenges of being female and/or being of color in today's world of production, and what the outlook is for the future.


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Eight Forty-Eight
Elderly expect brunt of postal closures
The U.S. Postal Service announced that during the busy holidays it will take a break from a controversial plan to close post offices, but the issue is still stewing in some neighborhoods - especially among elderly residents.
Eleven post offices in Chicago are on the list of potential closures, nearly all on the city's South and West Sides. Those are the communities where many say that older residents will bear the brunt of the hardship of having to travel farther to use a full-service postal facility.
Residents near those locations received letters over the summer notifying them of the proposal to close their local post office, and inviting comments. Dorothy Sumpter, a 73-year-old resident of the North Lawndale neighborhood, said as soon as she received the letter, she put the date of a public town hall meeting on the proposal on her calendar.
"People like me need the post office," said Sumpter, "so that's why I wanted to be in on it. I'm a citizen and I use every right that I possibly can."
Sumpter uses the Otis Grant Collins Post Office, where revenue dropped $200,000 between fiscal years 2007 and 2010. Throughout the nation, post offices are seeing a decline in revenues and foot traffic, attributed to the shift to online bill-paying and correspondence. But Sumpter says she and many other elderly people like her aren't part of the internet-using trend.
"I don't feel comfortable using it," she said. "I'm old-fashioned."
Sumpter goes to the post office every week because she has a P.O. Box there, but also to buy stamps and mail her bills. She said she feels comfortable going there because it's easy to access on foot and by bus, and she knows all the workers by name. If the Otis Grant Collins branch closes, the next closest post office would be in Cicero. "Which I don't even know where the post office is in Cicero," Sumpter laughed. "And I don't really want to have to go over there just to go to a post office, because many times I can walk to the post office in less than 15 minutes."
Sumpter said she fears that the elderly will become more isolated if they lose their neighborhood post offices, because many are less mobile to begin with, and sometimes walking to the post office is a crucial part of their social interaction and weekly exercise regime. Karen Schenck, Chicago District Manager/Postmaster, said many share Sumpter's view.
"That was the largest concern. If you had to ask me what was the biggest concern of all the town hall meetings," said Schenck, "was people were concerned about the elderly in their own community."
The list of proposed closures came from USPS headquarters in Washington, D.C., said Schenck.
"Nobody took into consideration any other fact except for how much revenue," she explained, "and if there was another post office within two miles close to it that could service the community."
Schenck says the district office is now looking at population data to see how many elderly live near the post offices that may close. She says that'll help them make a final decision. Schenck says of the 11 offices on the shortlist, some will be spared.
But concern for the elderly may be loudest in Chicago's Chinatown. Of the zip codes where offices may close, Chinatown's is the one with the greatest portion of residents over age 65, with several senior housing high rises in the immediate vicinity of the post office. Chinatown's elderly also say they have an unique need - a place where people are bilingual.
"The employees, they don't speak Chinese," said 60-year old Harry Wong.
Wong is like many elderly Chinese immigrants in Chicago who speak limited English. He uses the Chinatown post office because if there's a language barrier, he can turn to other customers in the store for help translating. That's the reason that many elderly Chinese who live in other places will often bypass a closer post office to go to Chinatown's.
Chinatown organizers have gathered hundreds of handwritten letters from residents to protest the potential closure of their post office. USPS is still accepting those comments, and says no post offices will close before March.


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The Dana Dolly is the most popular camera dolly / slider on the market. It is so easy to use and set up the Dana Dolly has quickly become a standard on most sets.
Designed for the times where you just want to do a little 6' to 8' dolly move without a lot of setup. The Dana Dolly is easy to set up, can be used with a variety of track options, and can be supported using standard junior stands, apple boxes, or the ground, whatever the shot requires.
Whether you're an established professional or just getting started, the Dana Dolly is a great solution for adding production value to your shoot. Designed to be flexible, affordable, and easy to set up. Designed by a key grip with over 20 years' experience in all types of production, the design is both simple and practical. The Mitchell Mount can take all types of camera heads with available adapters. The sixteen- wheel design with floating trucks provides a smooth glide. The track ends and center support can use any 1 1/4" pipe as a track: aluminum, stainless steel, etc. So if you're on location and don't want to pack track, you can stop by a homecenter and pick up some pipe or conduit as an alternative to the Schedule 80 aluminum pipe we recommend for everyday use.
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Complete Dana Dolly Kit Includes:
- Dana Dolly
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- 100mm Adapter
- 2-Track End Brackets
- Center Support
- Washer
- Tool


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Uruguay's Upon Shadows presents new single "Fatal Stigma Of The Realist"; new book announced
To celebrate their 15 year anniversary, female black / gothic metal Upon Shadows are releasing a book that contains all the band's lyrics, complete album informations, pictures and a detailed bio which was written by Kosta Bayss from Canada's Goetic Records.
The book can be ordered at Amazon.com or at www.lulu.com but is also available in pdf for free download at: http://tamarapicardo.blogspot.fi/2017/08/upon-shadows-book-of-lyrics.html
Upon Shadows have also published a brand new video for their latest single "Fatal Stigma Of The Realist", which you can watch at this location: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UsKrxUWNw9U
The graphic novel everyone is talking about is coming to the large and the small screen!
The animated motion comic version of 'Realm Of The Damned' will feature the dark and disturbed voices of David Vincent (Morbid Angel), Dani Filth (Cradle Of Filth) Jill Janus (Huntress) and many more.
Directed by Tom Paton who's first Sci-fi debut set the world alight with his post-apocalyptic vision – Pandorica. Tom now takes on the world of animation by bringing the graphic novel Realm of The Damned to life as a motion graphic comic.
This is a fresh and genuinely brilliant new world for fans of anime, horror, vampires and Metal the world over. So feast your depraved souls on this rare spectacle if you dare………
The story….
There's no one left to protect us from what lurks in the dark. No one is coming to save us. The monsters have won. Our world now belongs to them.
The Vatican's last line of paranormal defence – The Congregation – has finally been overrun by the supernatural forces of darkness. Our heroes are all dead; only the damned remain. Among them is Alberic Van Helsing – addict, murderer, survivor – and the creatures that were once his prey now hunt him across America. But when an apocalyptic evil is resurrected in the forests of Norway, it falls to Van Helsing to become the hunter once again if mankind and monster alike are to see the dawn.
Van Helsing's quest for salvation and survival takes him through the ruins of a neo-Gothic Europe, where he must face the vampire queen of the Vatican, a man-made monster with the heart of a storm, the lycanthropic lord of the forest, the mummified ruler of the slums of Cairo, and the crazed vampire demi-god who threatens to devour them all.
This is Realm of the Damned: Tenebris Deos, an animated motion comic of pure Black Metal horror that unleashes the classic gothic monsters on a modern rampage of redemption and damnation. Raw, fast-paced and bristling with atmosphere, this is a bloody and blasphemous epic that leaves no church unburned.
"Black Metal: Into The Abyss" from Black Metal writer and photographer, Dayal Patterson, will be released on 31st May and is now available for pre-order. The new book includes 300 pages and 21 chapters of brand new and exclusive material, with long, detailed and definitive interviews; featuring four Pagan Records acts: Sacrilegium, Furia, MasseMord and Mord'A'Stigmata.
The newest full-length book in the 'Black Metal Cult' series follows on the good work in "Black Metal: Evolution of the Cult" and "Black Metal: The Cult Never Dies Vol. One." Designed to be read as either a separate work or as part of the series and presented with a somewhat more old-school aesthetic to the previous two tomes.
Available as a stand-alone edition or as a box set, featuring a second (colour / gloss) with over 100 pages of photos, a patch, art prints, a deluxe box and numbered illustrated certificate.
The author, Dayal Patterson, comments about exploring Polish Black Metal:
"Along with the bands coming out of territories such as Greece, Norway and Sweden, Polish Black Metal was something that we kept an eye on as fans since the 90's. It has been a pleasure to be able to explore the scene in more detail in this book series and conduct in-depth interviews with such diverse groups as Xantotol, Arkona, Behemoth, Mastiphal, Evilfeast, Mgla/Kriegsmachine, Graveland - and in the new book Black Metal: Into The Abyss - Furia, Massemord, Black Altar, Besatt,
Mord 'A' Stigmata, Sacrilegium and Blaze Of Perdition."
Static of Mord'A'Stigmata adds:
"I did hundreds of interviews since I started this journey called Mord'A'Stigmata in 2004. If someone asks me which of those conversations touched the real soul of the band, I definitely should point to my talk with Dayal. The work he did preparing his last book, could not be overrated. It was a challenge to answer all these profound questions, but results are amazing."
S. of Blaze of Perdition comments:
"The simple, yet not that easy, trick of journalism is to ask the right people the right questions and Dayal does just that."
Bands included in the latest book: Furia, Massemord, 1349, Forgotten Woods, Tsjuder, Nocturnal Depression, Vemod, One Tail, One Head, Mystifier, Black Altar, Besatt, Mord 'A' Stigmata, Trist, Helheim, Hypothermia, Loits, Deinonychus, Psychonaut 4, Koldbrann, Urgehal, Sacrilegium & Blaze Of Perdition.
Pre-order the book now: https://cultneverdies.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/pre-order-black-metal-into-the-abyss-signed-by-author
Follow on Facebook and official website for the latest news on "Black Metal: Into the Abyss".
With the release of the Book of Opeth next month, publishers Rocket 88 have shared a new video of Mikael Åkerfeldt unboxing and talking about his copy which you can watch below.
The book is told in the first-person by Mikael, the band, their friends, former members and collaborators, it is illustrated throughout with hundreds of previously unseen pics, rare artworks and memorabilia. It includes early, personal, candid, studio and live photographs, and an extensive illustrated discography. It's available to order only from opethbook.com and is released on 15th April.
The book also comes with a 7" of previously unreleased acoustic versions of 'Atonement' & 'Demon of the Fall'.
This sumptuously illustrated oral history presents the story of Opeth, from their earliest days until the present, in glorious dark colour. Told in the first-person by Mikael, the band, their friends, former members and collaborators, it is illustrated throughout with hundreds of previously unseen, rare artworks and memorabilia. It includes early, personal, candid, studio and live photographs, and an extensive illustrated discography.
Every copy of the first 4,000 books come with a vinyl pressing of previously unreleased acoustic versions of 'Atonement' & 'Demon of the Fall', which will only be available with Book of Opeth. The strictly limited edition–all numbered and signed by Mikael–also includes three art prints by Opeth sleeve designer Travis Smith.
Get Book of Opeth while you still have time…
Book of Opeth is the first official book to tell the story of the band, by the band. Mikael, Peter, both Martins, Fredrik, Joakim and former members have searched their memories and photo albums in order to contribute to this unique work.
Illustrated with photographs taken from their earliest days through to the recording of Pale Communion and beyond, here are Opeth as they've never been seen before. Band members cite their influences, recall their first days with the band and offer anecdotes and stories about each other which reveal the dynamics of the band.
The book is sumptuously and lovingly packaged, comes with otherwise unavailable recordings and images and is a precious and rare item. Frank, funny, revealing and totally original, Book of Opeth tells the story of one of rock's most important, influential and original bands.
Book of Opeth, published by Rocket 88 Books is released on 15th April and is available to order now from opethbook.com. Check out the site for more information and watch for further announcements.
"There are pictures from pre-recording days – before we even had a contract – of us recording the first album, rocking out in our rehearsal room, getting our first tattoos; there's loads of great stuff in here…" - Mikael Akerfeldt
The Editions:
The Classic edition - £40
The Signature edition - £250
© 2011-2020
Global Metal Apocalypse
January 2020


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Humanity vs. murderers, not Islam
Michael Gerson, San Antonio Express News
Fourteen grim anniversaries separated from Sept. 11, 2001, some memories still come in high definition, like flashes of a strobe light. An email from my deputy I read at home, five minutes before the first plane struck in New York: "Very little of note happening."
Headed in to the White House and seeing American Airlines Flight 77 on a low trajectory toward the Pentagon. Meeting with President George W. Bush a day later and hearing him say, for the first time, "We are at war."
All of official Washington rising to sing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" at the National Cathedral. Sitting with Bush when the draft of an ultimatum to the Taliban was walked into the Oval Office — return falsely imprisoned Americans, close every terrorist training camp, hand over the terrorists — the demands that would be included in his Sept. 20 speech to a joint session of Congress. Knowing that everything, absolutely everything, had changed.
It hadn't, of course. American life eventually returned to its normal diversions and divisions, which is preferable to the unity and focus that come from mass death and grief. But at least one thing has changed, and much for the worse.
During the speech, Bush explained, "The terrorists practice a fringe form of Islamic extremism that has been rejected by Muslim scholars and the vast majority of Muslim clerics; a fringe movement that perverts the peaceful teachings of Islam."
This claim — that radical Islamism is a violation rather than an expression of Islam — is controversial among many conservatives today. This change in language and attitude toward Islam represents the largest shift in Republican views of the war on terrorism since 2001.
During the last two presidential nomination cycles, Republican candidates have proposed requiring a loyalty oath for Muslims to serve in government; ruled out Muslims serving in their Cabinet; called Shariah law "a mortal threat to the survival of freedom in the United States"; raised alarms about the "creeping attempt" to "ease Shariah law and the Muslim faith into our government"; warned of "no go" zones where Shariah law rules; described Muslim immigration as "colonization" and warned that immigrants "want to come and conquer us"; said there were only a "handful" of "reasonable, moderate followers of Islam"; and described Islam as "a religion that promotes the most murderous mayhem on the planet."
All this is combined with a conviction among some Republicans that President Barack Obama offers Muslims special favor and may be a Muslim himself. As well as an almost magical belief that saying "radical Islamic terrorism" — like reciting an incantation — is a victory in the war against terrorism.
These beliefs have become pronounced during the Republican Party's current populist turn, in which the blaming of outsiders is a sure applause line (and a substitute for ideas and policy in some campaigns). The current rejection of "political correctness" has become a type of broad permission for the expression of properly repressed ethnic and religious resentments.
There are theological struggles within Islam of great public consequence. And there is a small but dangerous minority of Muslims who believe that Islam is a religion of war.
But it is integral, absolutely integral, to assert that they are wrong. Those who view jihad as an excuse for murdering civilians are a fringe movement that perverts the peaceful teachings of Islam.
Bush believed that any global conflict is first a conflict of ideas. Terrorists from the 9/11 hijackers to the Islamic State believe they will win if the world's Muslims regard their conflict as Islam versus the West. Cultivating this belief is the main object of their propaganda.
Bush believed that we will win if the world regards this conflict as civilized humanity versus murderers who use religion as an excuse for hatred, tyranny and the will to power.
This contest of narratives remains the most important ideological struggle of our time. And Republicans should engage that debate, not complicate it.


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Teller (Part-Time) South Portland Branch (437452)
Last Updated: 2020-01-22
Employer: Bath Savings InstitutionLocation: South Portland, ME
The part-time teller will work approximately 25 hours per week and will have direct contact with customers. All employees are expected to provide Exceptional Service in a prompt and professional manner. Duties include cash handling, processing transactions and responding to customer inquiries. Minimum of one year of recent retail sales…
Home Health Aide (437262)
Last Updated: 2020-01-21
Employer: Amedisys Holding, LLCLocation: South Portland, ME
Home Health Aide (20000620)
What You Will Do
Performs duties essential to personal care which are givento patients in their home.Providessupport services, under the supervision of the appropriate professional staff, toassist the client or family in the achievement of physical and emotionalcomfort according to physicians' orders. Works with patients and…
Home Health Aide (436053)
Last Updated: 2020-01-15
Employer: Amedisys Holding, LLCLocation: South Portland, ME
Home Health Aide (19004799)
What You Will Do:
As a home health aide for Amedisys you will provide one on one personal care to patients in their home setting using a patient specific care plan to facilitate the patient's self-care and independence with activities of daily living. You will have…
Nurse Practitioner Palliative NP | Per Diem (434847)
Last Updated: 2020-01-10
Employer: Amedisys Holding, LLCLocation: South Portland, ME
Nurse Practitioner Palliative NP | Per Diem (19009498)
What You Will Do:
As a Nurse Practitioner (NP) for the palliative care program at Amedisys, you will work autonomously but in collaboration with physicians to deliver palliative care. You will provide palliative medical services by managing the symptoms of acute and…
Referral Specialist (432841)
Last Updated: 2020-01-05
Employer: MaineHealthLocation: South Portland, ME
The Referral Specialist will work with other team members to process all incoming and outgoing referrals. The Referral Specialist will ensure patients have been cleared for an appointment by resolving pre-certification, registration, and case-related concerns prior to a patient's appointment. The Referral Specialist verifies insurance coverage and obtains…
Ultrasonographer - Urology (431968)
Last Updated: 2020-01-01
Employer: MaineHealthLocation: South Portland, ME
Position Summary
- A Diagnostic Medical Sonographer is a professional qualified by academic experience, clinical training, and credentialing. This individual provides diagnostic services using ultrasound. The scope of practice includes procedures and processes, for which the individual has received education and clinical experience and has demonstrated competency.
- Required Minimum Knowledge, Skills…
Hospice Aide PRN (425108)
Last Updated: 2019-11-21
Employer: Amedisys Holding, LLCLocation: South Portland, ME
Hospice Aide PRN (19005034)
What You Will Do:
As a hospice aide for Amedisys you will provide one on one personal care and homemaking services for terminally ill patients in their home using a patient specific care plan. You will work independently while having the direction, support and collaboration of…
Retail Merchandiser - South Portland, ME (422111)
Last Updated: 2019-11-06
Employer: Select Media Services LLCLocation: South Portland, ME
Join us as a Retail Merchandiser
This route covers stores in the following cities: South Portland, ME 04106 Portland, ME 04102/Westbrook, ME 04092
Pay Rate: DOE
To Apply:
Apply to requisition number: (ME33886)
- Registered Apprenticeship


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Membership & Meetings
Want to join us?
Simply fill in the membership request form. This will email a membership request to the club sec, Danny Lowthorpe (contact: email@example.com) who will then be in touch.
Club Subs
Club subs are due annually and must be paid by 28th Febraury. The cost for a years senior membership is £20 and is free to under 18's. This covers the day to day running costs that the club incurs and allows us to hold stock of club kit. The club is not run on a profit making basis and the level of club subs will be reviewed annually.
You can pay by cash or cheque at any of the Club meetings or by bank transfer (details available on request) or by using the Pay Pal link below.
Pay for your 2020 subs using PayPal
General enquiries & Web content
For news and notices posting contact Danny Lowthorpe
contact: email@example.com
Club meetings
Our monthly meetings are held on the first Friday of every month, 8pm in the upstairs darts room at The University Arms, Brook Hill, Sheffield S3 7HG
Club meeting dates for 2020
10 January
7 February – AGM
6 March
3 April
1 May
5 June
3 July
7 August
4 September
2 October
6 November
4 December
If you are interested in joining us or just finding out what we are all about, please come along to one of our monthly meetings.


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6 Comments on "Blame and Responsibility"
Thank you for passing this blog along. I did not know about Melinda's blog.
What other goodies, like this, do you have to share with us?
Thanks so much Steve! So much wisdom and hope.
"The genesis of homosexuality is, as the Catechism points out, unknown. It is also not especially important. The much greater and more essential truth is that this too is a way in which the works of God might be displayed in a human life."
Melinda Selmys in the "Blame and Responsibility" (the article you just linked us to.)
I got into a debate with a friend about St. Augustine's views on sexual selfishness even in a marriage.
It made me do some reflecting.
Sexual love when reconciled with the love of God or agape ascends higher.
This higher manifests itself as permanence, faithfulness, open to life etc.
This is only possible in a permanent union between a man and a woman also known as marriage.
For Catholics with same-sex attractions the call to ascend to this higher love this remains.
This can be done through chaste friendship and mystical union with God as Eve Tushnet puts it.
What are your views on this?
I agree. I wrote a bit about that topic here.
Thanks Steve. I have heard Catholics make the argument that God sees our hearts, not what we do with our bodies.
Can our hearts be divorced from our bodies?
They can, but it makes a bloody mess.


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Zambia: Opposition Warns President on Arresting Leader
Photo: CDDR-zambia
Opposition United Party for National Development (UPND) has warned President Michael Sata to arrest its leader Hakainde Hichilema at his own peril following orders to the police in view of the violence in Livingstone.
There are about 12 UPND leaders including campaign manager Garry Nkombo and other Members of Parliament arrested last evening in Livingstone after a suspected Patriotic Front cadre died during clashes instigated by the ruling party.
UPND officials says they are alive to orders issued by President Sata to arrest Hichilema.
"Go ahead but this will not change the resolve by voters in Livingstone to vote back UPND," the officials, through their facebook page, said.
UPND officials, who summoned a press briefing currently underway at the party secretariat in Lusaka, said President Sata should allow investigative wings of government to carry out their work without interference.
"HH was not anywhere near the scene where you sent your carders to attack us. Continue arresting him and victimizing him, people of Zambia are watching. One day we will say enough is enough and you will find yourself in the position we are without the false protection of the instruments of power you are enjoying now," the officials warn.
"Why cant you allow the law to take its course without meddling in it? You will answer for your past deeds."
The UPND officials are also asking President Sata and his supporters not to force them to react to the systematic oppression targeted at them.
Livingstone go to the polls on Thursday where a Member of Parliament will be elected following the resignation of Reverend Howard Sikwela who was enticed to quit UNPD while in Mpongwe, defector Gabriel Namulambe who ditched the MMD, is seeking re-election on the PF ticket.
We enjoin our readers to send their stories/articles/reports, including pictures to email@example.com
Category: Africa News


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Friday, October 31, 2008
Ninja as Child - #12 - Licorice
hmmm... got a lot more to say on the subject of black licorice... and cute girls... but running out of evening hours... to be continued...
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Oh, night time...
When I come home at 11pm, after being gone all day, all I want is to hold you high in the air and laugh with you. We could make the mome raths and borogoves envious of our joy. The sacred Navi stone of the northern nomads, said to forever point toward paradise, would divert its perfect compass precision toward us, just for a glimse of inspiration, returning only to find that paradise is not where it once thought. We could make the stars toggle a morse code glimmer, shouting jokes into the midnight sky, sharing the fun with the rest of the universe.
And you fold and bend like a fortune fish against my torso, professing that I must be happy. You roll over and nearly fall off. I must be in love. You look up at me as we walk and stare with such wonder and awe. I want to sing to you. I want to show you the beauty of the world--your little smile and sweet eyes in a mirror. I wish for camera eyes of my own to capture what only I can see--these looks that you won't give a camera, only meant for me.
Against my chest, you wiggle and burbble, spraying raspberry kisses and looking around the room frantically. It must be playtime because daddy is here. It must be time to run around and giggle. Isn't it? Can't we jump and fly, become airplanes and rockets, bullfrogs and kangaroos. Listen, daddy, I've been working on my creekity croak. And you inhale with a long, bubbly croak like the smoothest, softest bubble wrap, gently being squeezed, one bubble at a time, in a perfect pitch stream. Are you a frog, a baby raptor, a mythical beast that no mortal has ever heard and lived? How much I struggle to resist mimicking your sound, encouraging it. I love when you make that sound.
I wish it were time to play. I want only to play, to laugh, to make silly mouth faces and noises with you. But it's late. Your mamma wants to sleep. I must do the same. You must do the same. If only we could stay awake all the time...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Wordless Wednesday
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Instant Purified Water
Grrr.... *inner peace* Grrr... *zen calming* Grrr... *psychic Gatling gun, derailing my tranquility train*
The office explodes in a flurry of papers and computer disks as people begin to twirl and twist into a spiraling wormhole in my soul. My turmoil is too great for the fabric of spacetime. All carbon substance compresses into diamond streamers as people, desks, walls all rip apart and smash together, fighting for their place in line at the entry to the abyss. Soon, the 30% of office workers that is not water has been removed from reality. All that remains is pure, filtered water. I zap the floating bubbles of liquid as they hover in the air, waiting for me to slurp them dry.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Oh, yeah... well... oh damn!
Of course, this battle should have been painted on the COCK (Corridor Of Certain Kills) but my killer floppy disk throws kind of turned into floppy miss throws. Those things are quite powerful if you leverage them correctly but you need to account for a different wind pattern than with standard shuriken...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Kids and Drugs
We're on the couch and she's laying on my chest, giggling.
"Check this out." She psychically projects, "I can eat your shirt."
"Hahahahutha... you're eating my shirt... hahaha."
"huthuthuthahahahah.... I'm eating your shirt... hahahahahaha!"
I start shaking my head back and forth with reckless abandon, making farting noises with my lips. "Hahaha... I can move my head from side to side..."
"hahauhtthuuthhahahthuth! That's the funniest thing ever! haha. I can't stop laughing."
"huthut.... Dude..."
"Hahahahahahahahahahahah... you said dude! hahahahahahahahah."
"Oh, I'm loosing it."
We digress into creatures that can only laugh as a form of communication.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Written by Warren Ellis, this 60 comic series features the exploits of one Spider Jerusalem, a columnists and author who does more ranting and raving than writing. Spider is my hero. He's a lot like a ninja, but instead of being stealthy, he openly runs amuck, shouting his identity into his victims fearing faces. Instead of killing people with concealed weapons, he stomps on their faces. Instead of bowing into a dark room to achieve inner tranquility and god-like zen, he screams his head off until people realize they are complete morons who must commit suicide. It's brilliantly written. The visualization is a perfect representation of a grotesque future. Dig it.
Other must read comics here (oddly all Vertigo comics):
Friday, October 24, 2008
Ninja as Child - #11 - Bees
I'm naked, of course, as I have not yet learned to be ashamed of the awesome ability to pee anywhere at anytime. As I wander out onto the back porch, my mother hears me happily proclaim the identity of an insect.
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....." This is followed by a moment of silence, which is then followed by incessant tear jerking screams of childhood terror and dismay.
My mother rushes out to see what's the matter. "Are you OK? What happened? Did you get stung by the bee?"
As a one year old, caught in a hysterical fit of shock and pain, I have trouble following and answering these questions. So I continue to wail. Suddenly my mother sees the problem.
My penis is turning a bright shade of purplish red and is swelling up like a frat boy at a strip club who just got the shit kicked out of him by a bouncer.
My mother rushes me, naked, to the car and straight to the hospital. The doctors inspect me and recommend several shots and some medication. As a hippy, my mother objects.
"What is the worst thing that can happen if we don't do anything about it?" She asks.
"Well, if the swelling doesn't calm down, it could stay swollen for a while and he if he has to pee, it could get blocked up and that could cause some serious trouble."
"Ok, but do we have time to wait and see if the swelling goes down before we pump him full of drugs?"
"Yes, you can take him home but call me if he has trouble peeing."
We exit the hospital and as my mother is putting me back into the car, I begin to calm down. This is when my penis explodes. I spray urine all over the car. All over it. The roof, the back seat, the front seat, the hatchback trunk, the whole inside of the car is covered in piss. The swelling and discoloration nearly vanish and I'm suddenly fine.
"I go bee-bee..." I say, woozy and fatigued.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Ninja Nervous Breakdown
I don't have to do anything. I'm a fucking ninja.
Carry happy autumn leaves
Through my blackened heart
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wordless Wednesday: Wacky
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Unemployed but still hard at work
You might think being unemployed means you suddenly have all this free time but, strangely, unexpectedly, touching up a portfolio, updating a resume and contacting all yer peeps to spread the word and setup lunches is rather time consuming... especially when your so preoccupied with feline theoretical physics.
I promise more enlightened posts once I cough up this fur ball and get my feet back on the ground.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Back to Work
Well, now I'm off to work.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
That's all I've got for you after a night of drinking at a company Halloween party where everyone in the company was just laid off. My costume kicked ass though. Photos later.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Costco® - the Cheese Dip Fiasco
I might have mentioned before how I dislike large groups of people colliding their oversized shopping carts into each other with a lab-grown need to consume an 8lb bag of potato chips. No? Well, here it goes:
At Costco®, you can get just about anything you want. You'll find 50lb tubs of cat litter, racks of Vitamin Water™, bottles of wine, all neatly arranged in towering aisles of selectable back pain.
But to make your trip more interesting, management provides massive shopping carts that narrowly squeeze two by two down the walkways, getting jammed up while some curious grandma stops to look at an 8 pack of sports bras. And the worst part? They don't even put blades on the carts. Nothing sharp at all, in fact. When you slam into another person's cart, you've got to really hit it running and even then you only get a metallic grill beating sound and maybe, if you are serious, a minuscule bounce off the ground, which is unlikely to cause any significant damage.
My least favorite part are those weekend taste-test tables that are scattered all over, blocking pathways and forming large lines of people waiting to get a taste of a cracker. It's a cracker! Oh, and look, there's some stir-fry. You think I'm touching that? Chicken in a warehouse? Um... no.
"Hey, uh, 'scuse me?" The man in front of me fails to respond. He's completely blocking my path, only so he can keep his place in line for the free sample of a 5,000 gallon jug of cheese dip. I'm in no mood for this. I start to shake my cart violently, like a kid in a playground. "AAaaaahhahahahahahahhhhHH!" My voice echoes deep within the cavernous walls of Costco® as I pick up the cart and slam it down on top of the man like a giant cheese grater guillotine, slicing him into bite sized bits and crashing the cart down hard against the unyielding floor. The seismic beating creates an avalanche of cheese dip, pouring from the massive vat at the front of the line. People begin to panic and flee but it's too late, the dip is upon them, making their feet slick and unstable. Countless legs fly into the air as the confused horde runs right into the slippery goop, landing with sludgy abandonment.
I too realize my escape is foiled by the hot orange gushing river. While searching for an alternate path, I see the drooling mass of weekend shoppers descend, diving willingly into the steamy lake, even as it forms. They slip and roll around in it, covering their clothes and licking it off their hands. A woman rips her shirt open, exposing herself to the dip. Others follow suit and soon the flowing melted cheese is an orgy of naked consumerism, writhing in a thick lather of aged and processed cattle spunk.
Leaping onto a nearby column of salsa and bean dip, I make my escape, flying from rack to rack, leaving the growing mass of orgasming food lusters to their fate.
Sleep Deprivation Ninja doesn't do cheese dip.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Ninja as Child - #10 - Beer
"Try 'em." NVD suggests.
I reach over to my mother's Pale Ale and fail to notice the absurdly uncertain look on her face as I take a sip.
"Ugh! Gah! Blech! Nyeeyeyeyyeyeyeyeah...." I shake my face in horrific disgust. My tongue is starting to lose all feeling but my sense of taste!
"Now try mine." NVD says, nudging his beer closer to me. I'm urgent to get the taste of the first beer out of my mouth so I hastily grab his with the senseless, caution-throwing curiosity that children are known for having.
"UUGGGHHH." I rub my tongue with my hands and shake spastically like a rat that's just been electrocuted. "I'm gonna throw up! Ew. How can you drink that?"
"It's an acquired taste." NVD says triumphant, sitting back and giving my mother a sophisticated glance.
Needless to say, my first time getting drunk wasn't on beer; it was cinnamon schnapps, interspersed with peach schnapps sips to wash it down. Peach pie. The cinnamon burned a little extra and the peach smoothed it out. This is a story for another time.
Anyway, I now have grown a taste for some beer but I still can't take the light hoppy kind. And I have still not found my dream beer:
Imagine a Guinness or some other thick, dark, bread-like stout, brewed with fennel and sarsaparilla, nice and heavy with the black licorice overtones and a subtle flax grain finish to wash it down. Maybe a dash of clove.
Until I find this brew or convince someone to brew it for me, I usually drink a Guinness with a shot of one of the following on the side so I can blend it together as I drink them both:
1. Kahlua
2. Sambuca, Ouzo or Pernod
3. Galliano
Yeah, call me whatever heathen name you can think for me. I'm just all messed up from that beer experience as a child.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Good News / Bad News
Regardless of the intended outcome, I am as of now officially laid off (along with the entire staff).
If everything works out, maybe I'll even get a bonus. If it doesn't work out, I'll get to spend more time with you. This sounds like a win/win.
... or at least we can go swimming and pretend we are in space...
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Wordless Wednesday
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
This Just in: Advertisements Lie
Wait, that looks like Jared™! <- sellout. Wait... quick google images search. That is Jared™! <- lying sellout
I'm also not one to go to Subway® very often but there is one right by my office and I walk by it nearly everyday. From the street, a passerby is confronted by a massive photo of skinny Jared™ <- bitch-ass sellout. I've noticed his smile has gone soft over the years. He looks sad now or maybe annoyed. He wears a "take the damn picture" face.
And, now I find out that this guy totally lied. The truth has been hiding in an internet ad. He didn't lose all that weight eating sandwiches; he was drinking juice! Sweet, gut cleaning, pee inducing juice.
Now it all makes sense.
Monday, October 13, 2008
I long for sunshine;
The mighty bear yawns.
Ninja stays awake;
Sleep is for the weak.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
100 Word Challenge: Adjustment
"I think what we need here is an adjustment."
"What kind of mint is a Just Mint?"
"No, no, um... it's not a Just Mint; it's an Ad-justment."
"Oh. What kind of mint is an Adjust Mint? Does it have orange in the middle?"
"Uh, no, there's no orange at all..."
"Is it like an Advertise Mint. I don't like them. I don't like Govern Mints or Punish Mints either."
"Well, I guess it's kinda like all those things in that none of them are actually mints, but..."
"Ok. No adjustment then."
"It sounds like we're having a disagreement."
"You can have a Disagree Mint. I don't want any."
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Ninja as Child - #9 - This is My Rifle
My second dad was in Nam. He went a little crazy and turned to the bottle for sanity or for a good time. My mother was still, at this time, also enjoying the needed drink or two but working hard to quit. She has now been sober over 25 years. I'm proud of my mom.
Anyway, I'm out in a field with step dad #1 and he has his rifle. He's teaching me all about how to use it and how to behave around people with guns. I'm around 4 years old. The gun looks about as mysterious as the wheat field, which I'm still not used to seeing.
This is the same field where I had previously narrowly missed stepping on a cottonmouth snake, saved only by my mother grabbing my arm and telling me briskly 'HALT!' I hovered, my right foot stuck in the air, over the black viper. The snake then curved and wove itself back into the wheat, unaware that I was lingering above it. I resumed walking, unaware that my life could have ended. My mother was a little more shaken.
So, Nam Dad is pointing his gun to the lightly clouded blue mass that he calls 'sky', aiming at the clouds. "Bet you I can punch a hole right through one of those clouds." He says. I hesitate to disagree and decide that he probably can. "Stand behind me! Always stand behind someone who is firing a gun." I rush behind him, edging out only a little to view the cloud, as I expect it will burst in a flare of white smoke and vanish on impact. He holds the rifle out high and looks around back at me, so low by his feet. He shuffles in circles, making me scurry to stay behind him. He laughs.
Then he shoots.
The echo is intense. I don't even see the cloud he was aiming for anymore, I'm so dizzied by the bang of the rifle. The world spins chaotically for an instant and I steady myself, checking to make sure I'm still behind him. He could fire again. But he brings the gun down, looks down at me and laughs. We start to head back along the path. Several steps later he stops me and points to the ground. "You see that?"
I look down on the edge of the path and see a lizard. Not an especially large one but, to my childish eyes, it looks big enough to get me concerned by what my dad is pointing out.
The lizard is dead. Not just dead, but dead with a bullet lodged in it's head.
It lays there as if it had been casually scurrying back into the wheat when an unexpected bullet fell from the sky and landed right in it's cranium. Squish. Pinned to the ground. Dead.
I look up at Nam Dad. He raises his eyes to the sky and back down at me. Then he raises his finger up in the air. "Don't you ever fire a gun straight into the air."
Needless to say, I'm convinced of the danger that gravity poses when mixed with small, heavy, fast moving cylinders of lead. I stay there, squatted to the ground, with the lizard for a second, examining it, covered in dust. A little bit of blood has leaked from it's head and merged with the dusty path. The lizard is a little skinny; a little emaciated; a little too dead.
How much earlier in the day had my dad come out here and stuck that bullet in the lizard's head before taking me out to this field? Did he kill the lizard himself or just find it dead and get the idea to teach me about Newton in his own way? I imagine him, pistol in one hand and a squirmy lizard in the other, pinning the creature to ground, digging the barrel into it's forehead. No, he must have used a hammer to put the bullet in, or pushed it in by hand. These things puzzled me for a while on the silent walk back to the house.
To this day, I tell myself that this event was staged. But I still don't think that was a blank he fired straight into the air.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Dream: Cactus Tree and a Broken Bridge
"He discarded the chop-sticks. We've lost the trace on him." One says to the other, holding his earpiece.
"I duck down to the elevator, pressing the bottom floor. When I get there, I rub all the buttons to Go and run out. I leap off a terrace onto the very bottom floor where many citizens are moving in and out of a restroom waiting area. There are payphones and candy machines and benches for waiting friends. I sit on a bench.
"Hey man, they will find you here." This from an aggressive looking neo-punk twenty-something who is moving too close to me for casual comfort in a stranger. "You need to go out that door and meet up with the others." I thank him for his advice and move toward the exit.
Cautiously, I peer out and around for a trap. Seeing none, I bolt through the opening and into the bright daylight, just in time to hear my baby stir from sleep.
"Can you take her?" My wife turns away from us. I take the baby and rock us both back to sleep.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Classified: Nemesis Wanted
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Wordless Wednesday - Ray of Sunshine
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Movie: Hellboy 2
So we get to the theater and only 4 other people are there. It's Sunday night at 22:00* so it's expected but I still release a mental shout in the form of SCORE!!! A young couple sits in the back and an older pair is in the middle. We sit close to the front.
The old guy in the middle keeps making crass and lame jokes about the commercials that play while we are waiting for the movie to start. I don't give him a hard time because I really hate those commercials. It pisses me off that they show them at all but we are at one of the discount theaters that only shows movies that were cycled out of the good theaters at least a month ago. Tickets are $3 each** so I can't complain here. Someday I may crack at one of the theaters that charges over $10 each though...another adventure.
The trailers start and the old guy is at it again, he's a little loud and obnoxious and I'm bottling my ninja gusto, preparing for the moment his crass ass shouts something stupid during the feature presentation. I can feel it in my black ninja blood that there's going to be trouble tonight.
Ten minutes into the movie, another couple walks in. The man is quite overweight and as I size him up, I start to wonder if I could throw him in a fight. I don't think this is a ninja thing exclusively. Guys can vouch, yeah? And this applies to heterosexual male thinking only. I'm sure the train of thought is different when you are attracted to men. But the train of thought experienced by heterosexual guys, when meeting another guy for the first time, runs mainly along the same track, stopping very briefly at the following destinations:
1. Is he a bleeder?
2. He looks like a (nice|decent guy)|asshole|badass|poser|{insert other superficial character judgment}
3. How far could I throw him?
4. If I'm going for height, where's the best handle on this guy? What about distance?
5. Is he more attractive than I am?
6. Is he betting on speed or strength to save him from me hurling this chair at his head?
We have a completely different rail line dedicated to first thoughts at the time of meeting a woman. It's itinerary goes something like this:
1. Would I have sex with her?
2. Would I have sex with her in an apocalyptic scenario?
3. Is she the hottest girl here?
3. Would she have sex with me?
2. Would she have sex with me in an apocalyptic scenario?
4. Does she think I'm more attractive than that guy over there?
5. Is he a bleeder...
This is where the two train tracks meet in a giant, deadly criss-cross. You have to be very careful because collisions can occur if you get overwhelmed.
But alas, I digress so much. So this guy does look like a bleeder, he doesn't look like a particularly nice or bad guy. I give him the thumbs sideways in that department. I'm not sure how high or far I can throw him. Attraction to the ladies isn't an issue, not the least of which is due to the fact that I'm here with my hot wife and none of the other ladies can even afford a ticket to lady train stop #3. I suspect hes betting on the large tub of popcorn to save him from a chair being lobbed at his head. Either that or he just trusts the benevolent nature of mankind. I'm not a bad guy. I don't throw chairs at people's heads for no reason. So maybe he's safe.
I can't even see the lady behind him, so she doesn't hop on the train. Besides, the movie is going; you think I have time to size up everyone who enters a theater after the lights go down?
Hellboy 2 kicks some serious ass. It reminds me of growing up in the projects--foul and beautiful creatures alike, all trying to wipe out humanity.
Halfway through the film, I hear really heavy breathing. Massive breathing. I start to wonder if I need to shift hyperplanes and kill something that's trying to eat its way through the fabric of space. As I look back, I see that it's just the newbie with his eyes shut, his head tilted back and his mouth flapping incessantly in a snore pattern. While I watch, in utter shock, he begins to snore, snort, sniffle and snuff, in random order and volume. He's a steam engine ready to blow, rubber lids blocking his air valves and old dried crude cluttering the pipes.
"Hey, you can sleep at home, dude!" I know, sometimes I refer to people as 'dude'. Don't ask me why.
"Ohhuhnnk! guh...." He's awake now, staring at the screen like he didn't even hear me.
OK, I think, back to the show.
Ten minutes later, the snoring is back. It's chair time. I grab the free seat to my right and heave it back toward the guy. I make good height but the man has already woken up from the sound of the metal base being ripped from the ground. He lifts the jumbo popcorn bucket to his face to block the theater chair. I'm surprised at the resilience of the butter tub as it ricochets the chair three rows forward.
"Hey, what gives?"
"Your snoring gives, bub." I'm at his side and I shove my hands deep into his stomach, aiming for a good organ to grab onto for leverage. Picking up big guys is tricky and best achieved internally.
Once I have a good hold, I lean back and with the prowess of an Olympic discus thrower, I go for distance, sending this guy toward the exit door. He turns out to be lighter than I had estimated as he makes it all the way out of the theater, the exit door slamming open on impact and swinging shut with a locking click as he vanishes into the parking lot. His girlfriend, who is obviously the disheartened victim of an internet dating service, appears relieved and runs away quietly, spryly exiting through the main entrance.
The old guy cheers and his wife smacks him aside the back of his head.
"Shut up, Steve!" She resumes snacking and enjoying her movie. So do we all.
* Ninjas prefer the 24-hour time format but we don't call it military time because it's been around centuries longer than any military. Ninja history goes all the way back to the beginning of time when we measured moments in picoseconds and those incalculable fractions of time allotted to the passing breath one takes at the moment of death.
** Cheap tickets is one of the advantages of not being able to see movies when they come out (due to babysitting difficulties). Another advantage is that my Netflix queue is the triple digits. I will never EVER run out of something interesting to watch. Not that I ever have the time.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Whatup iPhone
I know you're a badass phone with all sorts of apps that I couldn't live without, but really, do you have to make my baby look like a kaleidoscopic alien so often?
P.S. I still love you.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
100 Word Challenge: Blend
Now flying through the clouds, splashing into the sea or touching the ground running I'm always on the move, allowing the world to define itself. I try not to intrude.
Control blends into release, consciousness into subconsciousness and the event stream is uncontrollable.
Now I fall asleep.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Exploits of Ninja and Child - #8 - Recess
Well, little baby girl, I've got deadlines and I need to get some things done at the office. Times are tough and I need to work extra hard to make sure my job will still exist in the coming months.
Daddy, what would you do if you lost your job because of the economic recession?
Well, since I wouldn't have to go to work, I would just stay home and hang out with you and mom everyday. Of course, we wouldn't have any money to do things.
But daddy, we've got year long passes to the Zoo and the Science Center and the Aquarium and there are so many other things to do that are free like singing and dancing and listing to music and smelling the spices in the kitchen and walking around the city to hear the things that are there and you can write and play your accordion and we can walk around Greenlake and laugh and play.
That's true; we could keep pretty well occupied. But eventually, we wouldn't be able to pay our mortgage.
Daddy, I hope the economy crashes just for a year.
Me too, sweet pea, me too.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Ninja as Child - #8 - Jon Bon Jovi
I had, of course, in my ignorance, dared to ask him, "Who is Jon Bon Jovi?"
Queue music:
We are all standing in line, awaiting our release from our second grade classroom, into the open embrace of recess. I look at Izaak who has only half way turned around to give me the same face the Fonz would use to tell someone, "hey, it's cool, I'm cool enough for the two of us."
Izaak is cool enough for the two of us. He is a certifiable badass. This kid knows everything that is cool. He's slick with the ladies. He can always win those toys from the stupid claw machines at the video arcade. Every. Freaking. Time. Sometimes we go to the video arcade at the mall just so he can prove it.
So, I'm standing there, turning red with embarrassment that I don't have a clue who this Bon Jovi guy is and Izaak saves me. He leans in and whispers, "he's a singer, man."
"Oh. Oh, yeah, I knew that." I'm such a smart-ass. Izaak shakes his head, totally not falling for my ruse. "You going to Mike's birthday party tonight?"
"Yes I am." He says and then he throws his hands into the air in a badass biker style "ROCK" just as the bell rings. For a split second it looks like he made the bells ring just by throwing his arms up and giving the signal. I marvel until the vanishing line catches up with my position.
Children pour out into the play yard like a bag full of marbles spilling out onto the floor. Direction is meaningless. Vectors change based only on the terrain. Individuals coalesce into groups, arbitrarily merged based on location, rather than social status. The hordes of children indulge only in fun.
Mike's birthday party that night begins at Angelo's Pizza. There are about eight of us running amuck, pizza in one hand and a fistful of quarters for the video games in the other. Several very large pizza's are quickly devoured. My stack of quarters lasts me about fifteen minutes. Some other kids have more and I watch as they play. Izaak has been playing for over thirty minutes on the quarter he borrowed from Mike. Badass. Within the hour, all the quarters are gone and Izaak has killed the game. This place is spent. But the night is still young. The party continues at Mike's house, where we will all slumber over, living the fort-building, pillow-fighting, video-game addicted paradise.
When we get to Mike's house, I look around at all my cohorts and something isn't right. "Where's Izaak?"
Mike shrugs, "I don't know... I think he had to take off or something."
"Man that sucks." I'm a little hurt. How could he ditch out on the best part. A sleepover! That's just crazy. I'm sad for a brief moment but little boys with their toys and games are easily distracted and fooled. We all forget about Izaak.
The next morning, my mother picks me up and she asks me how it went. "Oh, we made this awesome fort and played video games and ate lots of junk food and it was fun. I wish Izaak was there. Do you know why he didn't come?"
My mother stares out the window of the car as we drive away. She looks unusually distant. "I drove Izaak home last night from the pizza place." Then she looks at me with a pained expression like she is about to cry.
"Why, what happened?" I'm scared for Izaak. Did he get injured or something? Did he have some kind of emergency?
"Mike's mother told me she didn't want him there because Izaak is black." She looks at me. I'm at a total loss for words. "She said, I don't want that negro boy staying at my house with my son. That's what she told me. So I took Izaak and I drove him home and I explained it to his parents.... I'm so sorry." She turns back to the road.
"Mom! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you let me go there? I wouldn't have gone if I knew that." I start to get angry, brooding with my arms folded tight.
"I'm sorry, I should have told you. I regret not telling you."
I can't stay mad at my mother. I stare out the window and I imagine that I am Izaak, sitting here in the passenger seat, being driven home from the party. Did he cry? I wonder, did this happen to him a lot? I had no idea someone would ever do something like that to him. Why? WTF? Why?
Fuck. Now I'm fighting the tears just remembering this shit. And yes, ninjas do cry, but it only happens when a ninja relives some of the tragic memories that eventually combined to create the need to become Ninja. I can still choke a Jabberwock with my pinky.
Izaak just keeps cool. On Monday, in class, he just shruggs like the Fonz when Mike and the others ask him what happened to him. "Hey, I just had to go, you know." Izaak didn't miss a beat. Mike doesn't even know his own mother is a racist bitch.
I look around the classroom. Tiffany has red hair. Brian's hair is black. I have extreme blue eyes, about which the teacher makes frequent creepy comments. I'm the only one in the class with eyes this blue. Tiffany is the only one with red hair. Izaak has really dark skin. It's darker than peter's and in a different way. Everyone's hair is different. Everyone's eyes are different. Our noses are different, our chins, our height, the size of our hands. Everyone has a different skin tone. The only thing we see in each other is difference. And difference is cool.
This classroom is full of hippie children. Most of our parents were hippies. Some still are. We live in a little town full of natural food stores and local bars where everybody knows your name. In this town of monotonous living, conformity is tantamount to wearing a shirt that says 'Dull'. So we all look at each other for the differences that make us cool, all trying not to blend in with anyone else. Until we get around to learning about discrimination in school, none of us has any idea the world is full of such things. Sure, we notice we are all different but by what scale could we even dare to label any of these traits better than others? The only thing that matters is that you know who the fuck Jon Bon Jovi is. That's definitive.
Many years later, I'm about 15 years old now, and I'm at the grocery store getting a bunch of stuff for my mom. When it's my turn in line, I unload a full cart of food onto the conveyor belt and when I look up, I recognize the woman at the register. It's Mike's mom. She's older but she still looks the same. I remember Izaak and as I think about him, recognition dawns in her face too. She knows who I am. She knows I was friends with both her son and with Izaak. I think about screaming at her or just casually asking her what it's like to hate people like Izaak for such stupid reasons. I look behind me and see that the line is long. Everyone is waiting for my heap of goods to be purchased so they can take my place and interact with this woman.
No, not this woman. I look at the ground and lick my lips, clenching my fists, ready to bash her face in while she's calmly beep-beeping my groceries. I look up at her and slowly shake my head. I can't do this. I can't make this transaction.
I leave. I just walk out. The pile of groceries sits on the conveyor belt and yields to no one. She doesn't say anything. I know as I leave the store that she is just staring at my back and she knows exactly why. It's not much resolution but at 15, I am not yet a ninja. I'm still just a little boy who doesn't understand the world. Not even a little.
Damn. That was the saddest stroll down memory lane I've taken in a while. I'm getting all of these memories written so I can remember them when I'm old and so my daughter can have an idea what the world was like when I was a kid. I had forgotten when I started this project that so many of the memories that stuck are pretty shitty. I've got a million more. But that's why I eventually cracked and became Ninja. Time for something to laugh at. This seems relevant:
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Vice Presidential Debate
Education VS. Indoctrination; Nuclear VS. Nuk-u-lar; Change VS. More Bush
Product Review [unpaid]: War on Terror Game
Just listen to this awesome discription:
Each player starts as an empire filled with good intentions and a determination to liberate the world from terrorists and from each other.
Then the reality of world politics kicks and terrorist states emerge.
Andrew said: "The terrorists can win and quite often do and it's global anarchy. It sums up the randomness of geo-politics pretty well."
In their cardboard version of realpolitik George Bush's "Axis of Evil" is reduced to a spinner in the middle of the board, which determines which player is designated a terrorist state.
That person then has to wear a balaclava (included in the box set) with the word "Evil" stitched on to it.
While in the USA, you still have freedom of speech, so long as you don't say anything illegal.


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Ahhhhh….. where to start, where to start. It is the sad story of two women so in hate with themselves they choose to be someone else… a drug-addicted, HIV positive, sexually abused, ex-prostitute transsexual. I mean sure, it looks glamorous when you write it out like that, but two women pretending to be the same young gay guy? You have to know it will end badly.
The author of this book, Savannah Knoop, is one of the "girls" in the title. The other "girl" is Laura Albert. And the boy is JT Leroy (that's Leh–roy, not Lee-roy).
Laura creates JT as a form of writer's therapy, a persona for her fictional work. The persona becomes a hit, and now she needs a figure to go with the words. Enter Savannah. Savannah acts as JT during book signings, when meeting movie stars, when getting freebies from people, sleeping with actresses… you know, all that glamorous stuff that drug-addicted, HIV positive, sexually abused, ex-prostitute transsexual authors get to do. Ahhh, the 80s.
I fell asleep a few times while reading. And while it could just be that I am old and tired, you'd think that a book about a lesbian pretending to be a gay guy who is transitioning into a girl would be interesting enough to keep an old gal like me awake.
Savannah's story will be more interesting if she tells it again in 20 years. By then she might have some cultural and socio-political understanding of her actions and others' reactions, and incorporate that into the story, and into lesbian herstory. Right now, it's just a story. Give it some maturity, depth and feminist insight, and it might be brilliant.
The other half of JT, Laura Albert, is the subject of a film by Jeff Feuerzeig,has shown at Sundance. This review by Justin Lowe at the Hollywood Reporter and this review by Roison Agnew at Vice, covers the film which covers Laura's side of the story, her compulsion to be other people, and the eventual downfall of JT/Laura.


text: Content writing Well-crafted, engaging and compelling content. Content writing services Our content writing services will help you to give your audience a clear understanding of what you do, how you do it and how it can be of benefit. Good content writing is important across all of your marketing channels: your website, social media channels, printed marketing and in client email communications. As experienced content writers we'll get to know your business, your clients and your potential clients. We'll develop a workable content schedule that highlights your strengths and craft accurate, engaging, compelling and targeted content that you can use across all of your marketing. Content writing experience Over the last 25 years we've written for a wide range of clients on an even wider range of topics. Government housing policies, nuclear physics, alumni relations, town and city guides, electronic engineering, schools, astronomy, legal support, business education, business leader profiles and case studies, student and graduate profiles and case studies, conference case studies, stamp duty, sports, law courses, legal services, property services, DJ interviews, the Arts, education – higher and primary, property. Feature writing, interviews and case studies We've interviewed CEOs, international academics, researchers, entrepreneurs, DJs, senior higher education managers, students, graduates, school children – the list goes on. Our features, interviews and case studies have been written for Russell Group universities, regional glossy magazines, business websites, prospectuses, brochures, digital communications, client communications, arts-based organisations and charities. HIGHER EDUCATION CASE STUDIES MARKETING SERVICES Content for schools From speaking with your youngest pupils about why they love school to interviewing world-renowned academics about their research. Make your school shine with a beautifully crafted prospectus. We have two decades of experience in writing for education, and many school prospectuses under our belts. We offer: Support in devising the content for your school prospectus Visits to come in to see you and your pupils to get a real feel for your school Accompanied photography to capture your school in its best light A graphic design service that won't break the bank Management of print and delivery Digital versions of your prospectus A number of associated services such as brochure design, leaflet design, banner design, signage, website management, social media management EAST WARD PRIMARY CROSSACRES PRIMARY ST WILFRID'S PRIMARY Content for higher education We've worked both in house and as consultants in education for more than 20 years, so we know how the complex world of higher education marketing works. We offer: Content generation Editing Writing for the web Project management of publications Marketing support Interviewing and case study writing and production Graphic design services to complement your content RESEARCH MATTERS EPS NEWS YOUR MANCHESTER Why work with copper media? We produce accurate, engaging and results-driven content for use in all of your marketing material. We'll work with you get to know your business and identify your content writing needs. We can simply produce the content or work with you to identify the best channels in which to use it. From start to finish, copper media gave the publication the love, care and attention it craved, working against a very tight deadline to deliver a truly beautiful piece of print that has turned heads and generated debate." Alex Waddington Editorial and Engagement Manager, The University of Manchester ``Jo is both commercially astute in the content she has proposed and created and malleable enough to tailor her content according to the ever changing needs of Foresight.`` Andy Hughes Owner, Foresight Clinical Services ``I just wanted to thank you for a fabulous result. All in all, we have some excellent promotional material, which I'm sure will play a part in our future recruitment campaigns. Many thanks for a great job!`` Patricia Rees Emeritus Professor, Manchester Metropolitan University "We love it! You are so skilled at your job." Suzanne Blay Headteacher, Crossacres Primary Academy Other projects We write compelling and engaging content for all sorts of organisations. Whether it's for use in print or online, we can help to tell your story. We also provide copy writing, editing and proofing services. Click through on the links below to take a look at some of our other writing and graphic design projects. Working with copper media Click here to find out more about the work we do, the services we offer and the process, or get in touch if you'd like to have a chat about how we can help with your project. PROJECT MANAGEMENT PROFESSIONAL SERVICES CASE STUDIES GRAPHIC DESIGN DESIGN FOR PRINT PROPERTY AGENT MARKETING


text: To say that I am a photographer would be an accurate description, since I have a camera and take photographs. However I rather think of myself as a hunter of moments, I capture life's moments as they happen, and I let them tell their story. People always say that photographers tell a story, I however like to think that we don't tell a story, we find a story, we capture its moment in time and we set it up for you the viewer to develop. Photographers are merely giving you the opening scene to the story. Photography whether still or moving pictures, has a very intricate technical base, the lens the camera, the lights, all parts of the ingredients for a good photograph. To be able to capture incredible moments, one must detach themselves from the technical aspects and latch on to the spiritual moment in the photograph. You must become one with the scene in order to see it before you focus.


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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 27/10/2011 (3009 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.
Winnipeg's new Richardson International Airport has tried its wings, so to speak, its first departures taking flight Sunday from the striking Cesar Pelli-designed terminal, a monument to aviation.
It was a long time in coming, with planning starting in the late 1990s, construction starts delayed repeatedly and a longer building schedule than anticipated.
It's been an expensive ride.
Is it worth it? Those who have seen the stunning edifice are instantly enamoured of the sophisticated, big-city airs it gives off to those visiting an urban centre tired of fighting for respect among its Canadian counterparts.
Barry Prentice says Winnipeggers have no idea how costly this project has been and sees potentially irreparable consequences from its planning to Winnipeg into the future.
The professor of supply chain management and transportation economics has a sobering tale to tell of the management of this $600-million project. He says the Winnipeg Airports Authority's forecasts of air traffic, used to justify the project, will be proven wrong.
And he worries the same misguided thinking will doom the old terminal to demolition.
Prentice sat on the airport's governing board for eight years, until 2002, as plans for a new airport took shape.
His criticisms of the decision to build and the intent to demolish come down to a basic, unfortunate weakness in planning — where is the cost-benefit analysis to support the WAA's business plan?
"I asked repeatedly for a cost-benefit study to be done when I was on the board of the WAA. They would never agree to do one.
"As far as I am aware, the whole terminal (project) was undertaken without the justification of any cost-benefit (analysis)."
The new airport, he says, was built too soon for the kind of growth in air traffic Winnipeg sees. Building too soon lards on unnecessary expense, costs that are picked up by travellers.
"It was (and) is badly over-built."
Now, Prentice warns, the WAA is hastily moving to tear down the old airport terminal building, which he argues is not beyond rehabilitation, although it has been allowed to deteriorate.
And, he is convinced, the same mistakes made in proceeding with construction of a new airport will be repeated in demolishing the old.
What are the holes Prentice pokes in the WAA's decision to build a new terminal?
Prentice says the WAA relied on shaky forecasts of air-traffic growth to justify building the new terminal. Not enough thought was given to renovating and expanding the existing terminal.
Originally planned to be 61,000 square metres, or 50 per cent larger than the current terminal, the new airport was first costed at $200 million. Then the cost for the full development — terminal, parking, roads — was given as $350 million in 2004.
In 2005, the price escalated to $560 million.
By 2006, the new terminal had been scaled back to 51,000 square metres — just 25 per cent larger than the old terminal. And the cost rose to $572 million. Now we are told the price is $585 million, but there are extraordinary additional costs coming due to errors made on the ground slope, which caused the WAA to switch contractors, sparking further delays and more work. After a protracted legal battle, the WAA was found to be responsible for the errors.
The WAA's Barry Rempel, who became CEO after Prentice left the board, says the first he heard of Prentice's concerns about the new terminal and a cost-benefit analysis was at a public meeting earlier this year.
Further, he says the bid to save the old terminal is misguided, as it has outlived its use as a terminal and would be cost-prohibitive to rehabilitate.
The terrazzo floor is cracking because of shifting; only partially piled, the foundation has dropped a foot in places and the basement is unusable, Rempel says.
The pillars have shifted. Condition reports have noted the mechanical and electrical systems are outdated.
All of that can be rehabilitated, Prentice insists. Both men agree it is simply a matter of spending money. Rempel says it would be throwing good money after bad.
Prentice's counterpoint: Expanding would cost nowhere near the $600 million that's gone into the new terminal.
Prentice's criticism of WAA's planning boils down to forecasts of air-travel growth and it has relied on grossly optimistic projections, he says.
Back in 2001, Winnipeggers were being told the WAA expected three million passengers that year, based on the 2.9 million seen in 2000. Both forecasts were proven wrong, particularly in 2001, in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
Recovery was expensive and long, but optimism has returned: The WAA says it expects traffic to rise to 4.6 million passengers by 2020, citing forecasts based on Transport Canada data and other sources.
"Everybody knows those (Transport Canada's) forecasts are notoriously inflated for Winnipeg," Prentice says.
Projections are skewed because the department's model encompasses experience of major hubs such as Toronto, Calgary and Vancouver. Winnipeg has very little in-transit traffic that can be factored into airport use and revenue. Almost all travellers live or visit here.
This is critical when it comes to airport revenues, a growing chunk of which is derived from spending at terminal shops, services and restaurants, especially post-security by travellers with time to kill.
WAA's design for the new terminal has 80 per cent of retail post-security.
As for forecast accuracy, it's tough to assess. Transport Canada's forecasts are out of reach. It sells its data to airport authorities, on a "cost-recovery" basis. I could have historical forecasts, I was told, for $10,000. It was suggested I ask WAA to release its data.
WAA emailed scant forecast detail: In 2004, three million passengers; 2006, 3.3 million; 2015, 4.1 million; 2020, 4.6 million. (The number for 2004 is only 100,000 off; 2006 was underestimated by about 300,000.)
Prentice has done his own projections, with the benefit of more than 20 years of past data. His forecast for 2015 is 3.7 million and for 2020, just more than four million.
The differences may seem small but air traffic grows very gradually at YWG, he cautions. That is why long-term forecasts are most reliable.
The existing airport has a capacity of four million, he believes. The WAA should have planned to open a new terminal 10 years from now.
Further, overly optimistic forecasts affect revenue projections. The airport makes its money from airport improvement fees travellers pay, from airline landing fees and from the tenant businesses in the terminal. Prentice's forecasts show the WAA's projections being short by almost 600,000 travellers by 2020. Annually overestimating traffic compounds revenue shortfalls.
For Prentice, the fight over the new terminal is moot — it's done, it's beautiful, and while it's costly, it's there to be enjoyed and Winnipeg should make the most of it.
But he fears the decision-making the WAA has exhibited will now condemn the old terminal to demolition. Tearing it down doesn't seem to make sense financially, he says.
As suggested by Arni Thorsteinson, a developer who proposed reuse of the old terminal, Prentice says there should be a public process of investigating the costs and benefits of reusing the old terminal.
How much will it cost to tear it down? WAA says that's protected information as the job will go out to tender.
The secrecy around these factors drives Prentice and heritage advocates nuts. None of them believes the WAA really tried to find good, workable reuses of the terminal.
Prentice goes further and says the airports authority has not showed an iota of private-sector entrepreneurial zeal — the rationale to handing airport management to the private sector — in developing business opportunities or containing costs. After all, the WAA simply passes its business costs on to passengers.
"There's an opportunity to be creative and the private-sector group that's running the show looks less creative than the bureaucrats that handed over the place."
The WAA defends itself against allegations it made a pathetic, perfunctory effort to find new uses for the old terminal.
CEO Rempel notes it has held public meetings repeatedly, issued a national request for proposals and extended the period for presentations.
Thorsteinson's plan, he says, was speculative. It did not return revenue to the WAA until it was making money beyond what it needed to pay off its investment. That was a risk the WAA did not want to take.
The Western Canadian Aviation Museum, which investigated being central to Thorsteinson's plan, has since announced it wants to build a new museum on the north side of the old terminal's footprint.
That caused preservation proponents to scratch their heads about what had changed: It seemed a natural fit to have the aviation museum a pivotal player in saving a historical terminal.
Shirley Render, president of the museum and now a member of the airport board, has said saving the old terminal really messes with her museum's future.
The airport has said previously it has plans for development on the land where the museum is now, in an old hangar on Ferry Road.
Prentice is sympathetic to advocates in the heritage and architectural community lobbying for preserving Canada's first international airport. But his priorities are straight-up.
"I'm not nostalgic that this building has to be saved at any price," he says. "My concern... has always been economic. This airport is owned by us, the people; it's our property. Why would we spend additional money to demolish that building, especially if there's no real use for the land?"
The only reason he can come up with for demolition is that people think this sterling example of mid-century, modernist architecture in the International style is ugly.
"I told them at the time it's my belief that the current generation really cannot judge the architectural value of things built in their or their parents' time."
And the combined monetary and cultural cost of demolishing the airport lead him to pose a troubling question: "Are people, in the future, going to look back on us and say 'What a bunch of idiots' "?
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Amazon is now selling refurbished (used) Kindles for just $99.
As SlashGear points out, that's usually a sign that a new Kindle reader is on the way. Last time Amazon reduced the price on refurbished Kindles, it announced the current third-generation Kindle a month later.
It's also likely Amazon will finally announce its new tablets along with a new Kindle e-reader.
Don't Miss: Everything We Know About The Amazon's Secret Tablet Project


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PDE Yellow and Red Challenge (2012-143)
Hello stampinistas! Welcome to the Pause Dream Enjoy Challenge!
Today is the beginning of a brand new challenge for
Question: What does the word SCHOOL make you think of? Yellow School Busses? Red Apples?
Starts: Friday 14th 12:00 am EST
Ends: Thursday 20th 11:00 pm EST
Details: Use Yellow and Reds on your project
Here is what I created for this challenge:


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Commercial Relocations
We've made commercial office moving our business so you can focus on yours.
You'll be around the water cooler marvelling at our well-oiled moving machine. We'll turn up bang on time, charm building managers, and swiftly ensure you're back in business with no fuss.
Our experienced office movers can give you the lowdown on how we can work efficiently to minimise the disruption to your business.


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dkrause on GSDDPC44 with PUBLAW
the primary training facility for air traffic controller training as a result of implementing the Air Traffic Control Optimum Training Solution in its entirety, prior to September 30, 2008. SEC. 197. PROHIBITION ON IMPOSITION AND COLLECTION OF TOLLS ON CERTAIN HIGHWAYS CONSTRUCTED USING FEDERAL FUNDS. (a) DEFINITIONS.—In this section: (1) FEDERAL HIGHWAY FACILITY.— (A) IN GENERAL.—The term ''Federal highway facility'' means— (i) any highway, bridge, or tunnel on the Interstate System that is constructed using Federal funds; or (ii) any United States highway. (B) EXCLUSION.—The term ''Federal highway facility'' does not include any right-of-way for any highway, bridge, or tunnel described in subparagraph (A). (2) TOLLING PROVISION.—The term ''tolling provision'' means section 1216(b) of the Transportation Equity Act for the 21st Century (23 U.S.C. 129 note; 112 Stat. 212); (b) PROHIBITION.— (1) IN GENERAL.—None of the funds made available by this Act shall be used to consider or approve an application to permit the imposition or collection of any toll on any portion of a Federal highway facility in the State of Texas— (A)(i) that is in existence on the date of enactment of this Act; and (ii) on which no toll is imposed or collected under a tolling provision on that date of enactment; or (B) that would result in the Federal highway facility having fewer non-toll lanes than before the date on which the toll was first imposed or collected. (2) EXEMPTION.—Paragraph (1) shall not apply to the imposition or collection of a toll on a Federal highway facility— (A) on which a toll is imposed or collected under a tolling provision on the date of enactment of this Act; or (B) that is constructed, under construction, or the subject of an application for construction submitted to the Secretary, after the date of enactment of this Act. (c) STATE BUY-BACK.—None of the funds made available by this Act shall be used to impose or collect a toll on a Federal highway facility in the State of Texas that is purchased by the State of Texas on or after the date of enactment of this Act. SEC. 198. Notwithstanding any other provision of law, the funding made available for the Schuylkill Valley Metro project through the Department of Transportation Appropriations Acts for Federal Fiscal Years 2004 and 2005 shall remain available for that project during fiscal year 2008. This title may be cited as the ''Department of Transportation Appropriations Act, 2008''.
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An Indian farmer's daugher disarmed a terrorist leader who broke into her home, attacked him with an axe and shot him dead with his own gun.
Fantastic. He'll not be doing that again.
Rukhsana Kausar, 21, was with her parents and brother in Jammu and Kashmir when three gunmen, believed to be Pakistani militants, forced their way in and demanded food and beds for the night.In this country she'd up before the courts for breaking their Yoomanrites.
Militants often demand food and lodging in nearby villages.
When they forced their way into Miss Kausar's home, her father Noor Mohammad refused their demands and was attacked.
His daughter was hiding under a bed when she heard him crying as the gunmen thrashed him with sticks. According to police, she ran towards her father's attacker and struck him with an axe. As he collapsed, she snatched his AK47 and shot him dead.
She also shot and wounded another militant as he made his escape.
Miss Kausar said she had never fired an assault rifle before but had seen it in films and could not stand by while her father was being hurt. "I couldn't bear my father's humiliation. If I'd failed to kill him, they would have killed us," she said.
One less of them . . .


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|The Great Billy Higgins
However, Higgins played on many of the pivotal Ornette Coleman recordings, as well as tons of classic Lee Morgan, Dexter Gordon, and Hank Mobley recordings. Lee Morgan said of Higgins, "He never overplays, but you always know he's there." Higgins' ride cymbal beat is fairly identifiable: it's more straight in the eighth notes than somebody like Jimmy Cobb or Ben Riley(two other underrated drummers in the jazz edumacational world).
My favorite Billy Higgins appearances are the following odd mix: Herbie Hancock's "Takin' Off", Charles Lloyd's "Hyperion With Higgins", Lee Morgan's "The Sidewinder", John Scofield's "Works For Me", and of course any of the Eastern Rebellion stuff.(I like the stuff with George Coleman and Bob Berg.)
|Cedar Walton, WITH a shirt on....
Two things that were really amazing about that session (at least concerning Higgins. What was also amazing was when the producer of the recording, John Clayton, during a break in the action, picked up Richie Goods bass and flawlessly fired off the double bass excerpt from Beethoven's Fifth Symphony. Impressive, to say the least). One was that Higgins never looked at the charts of Walton's arrangements, but after one run through, had all the hits nailed. I suppose all those years of playing with Walton gave Higgins a sense of where the music will most likely go. I suppose musicians who play together for 30 years are like an old married couple, finishing each other's sentences.....
The other thing that was amazing to me was when Higgins started singing. Again, during a break, I was messing around with Cedar Walton's waltz entitled "Clockwise". Higgins ran over to the piano and started singing these marvelous lyrics, very operatically, and doing an elegant dance around the studio. I was really impressed. I asked Higgins, " Who wrote those amazing lyrics?" He replied, " I did. Just now....."
Here's an interview with Higgins, who passed all too young while waiting for a liver transplant:


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List Price: unavailable
Sale Price: Too low to display.
This "home course" in Japanese features a phonetic pronunciation system that makes it possible for anyhone to pronounce Japanese correctly without previous study. All you have to do is pronounce the English phonetics and the sound comes out "Japanese." Author Boye Lafayette De Mente has been involved with Japan since 1949 and has written more than 40 books on the business practices, culture and language, including the first book ever on the Japanese way of doing business, Japanese Etiquette & Ethics in Business, first publisedin 1959 and still in print in its 6th edition. Speak Japanese Today is ideal for travelers, businesspeople, and anyone interested in Japanese culture. Contents includes common greetings and questions, and sentences relating to travel, airports, airlines, immigration, hotels, dining, shopping, sightseeing, taxis, buses, homestays, and more.
No features available.


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Wellbeing Tips and Tricks
International research shows that if people are encouraged and supported to look after themselves and others post-disaster, fewer will need psychological intervention in the long term.
Separate overseas studies also show that there are five ways people can increase their wellbeing.
This phase of the campaign involved taking action that are known to improve wellbeing and asking Cantabrians to think about when they last did them."I was walking fast to work, planning to stay late because I had to and saw 'When did you last really catch up?' at a bus stop. Slowed right down, smiled and I left work early to catch up with out-of-town friends. Don't you love All Right?"


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The Law Shop is now closed. Please click here to find out more.
The Law Shop is now closed. Please click here to find out more.
Search our Legal Questions and Answers
Q: I have been caught speeding by the authorities; what are my options?
A: You have three options; plead guilty by post, plead guilty in court or plead not guilty. If you plead guilty you will most likely be fined or possibly disqualified from driving depending on the seriousness of your offence. If you plead not guilty you will need evidence to prove your claim. If you plead guilty you will need to consider how you can argue that there were mitigating circumstances which may see you escape a penalty.
Can a person travel legally in the back of a camper van without seatbelts?read more
I have been driving on an expired licence for two years. I was not reminded of this and have lived at the same address for over 10 years. I would like advice on whether I will be able to continue to drive and just renew the licence, or whether I need to take another test.read more
I was caught speeding by a policeman but he has written the wrong registration number on the ticket. Is this a suitable defence that I do not have to pay for the ticket?read more


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Botanica Workshop Kaja Rib Dress
- $129.00
Botanica Workshop Kaja Rib Dress
- $129.00
Shipping + Returns
- This item is final sale.
- Shipping from botanica workshop (Los Angeles, CA) to
- Estimated delivery dates (when provided) are for orders placed today considering typical order processing and shipping times to . However, weather and other unforeseen circumstances may occasionally cause delays.
- Full Shipping Policy Full Returns Policy
|🇺🇸 US Priority
|2-4 business days
|🇺🇸 US Express
|1-3 business days
100% organic cotton rib dress with shirt sleeves.
Something on your mind? Spill! We're here to help!
The Designer
It's simple: hyper comfy underwear and loungewear made without screwing up the planet (or the things that live on it). Established in 2014, Botanica Workshop turns out a few small runs of bras, undies, camisoles, and so on each year, all made in Los Angeles of organic and sustainable materials.