text:
Doseum: Your Kids, and You, Will Love It
When Xander was younger, we were fans of the San Antonio Children's Museum, and I've enjoyed many Prek field trips there as well. With the closing of the San Antonio Children's Museum and the opening of the new Doseum, I've been looking forward to exploring the new additions.
The Doseum is huge! Upon arrival we were overwhelmed at everything there was to see. With a 19 month old and 12 year old, their interests are expectedly pretty vast, but both kids truly enjoyed themselves, as did my husband and I.
While everything was so fun and entertaining, we did have a few favorite areas where the bulk of our time was spent.
Imagine It!
We passed through the light tunnel and spent some time in the "Stick Up a Story" area. MJ enjoyed moving around the magnetic words. What a great activity for my prek kiddos! The area also included different literacy-related activities, a reading nook, and a small recording studio area, where Xander and I recorded messages and then played them back aloud.
Spy Academy
My hubby and Xander enjoyed the disguises and spy gear at the Spy Academy. It was a perfect area to learn about clothes line codes and clues while MJ had a blast across the way at Little Town. Great for all ages, but especially for kids about 8 years and up.
Little Town
A truly fun town for children 5 and under. A limited amount of children are allowed in Little Town at a time, which was great. I know first hand that small children in a crowded area often leads to injuries. Little Town includes an HEB, a construction area, a car wash, a small airport area with a conveyer belt and airplane, a baby area, a veterinary clinic, an outdoor area, and so much more! MJ loved driving the Little Tikes Truck around the road and through the car wash.
The Sensation Studio was full of light and sound activities for all ages. Every bit of the studio was engaging, from the building toys and light tables to mirrors and instruments, and even the fiber optic cables hanging on the entry way. Xander enjoyed the laser maze while Moxie was amazed by the light cords changing colors.
One of MJs favorites was the table with dinosaurs and small trees that projected shadows on the wall. The shadows intrigued her.
Power Ball Hall
This enjoyable ball area was at the San Antonio Children's Museum and I'm so glad it's now at the Doseum. This area was crowded with little tikes who experimented with pulleys, blowers and launchers. Colored balls were everywhere and every child was excited, as was MJ. We spent quite a bit of time in the ball area while Xander played in the Robotics Area.
The Robotics Area is great for older kids, but littles will have fun too. My kids played with dominoes, gears, and robots.
During our visit we also played in the wind tunnel, explored the maps and models upstairs and played with so many manipulative but there was still so much more to do. We didn't even make it to the outdoor area! A membership will definitely be worth the money, as there is more to see and do that can possibly be accomplished in just one trip. I can't wait for this to be a homeschool field trip for my children, as well as a field trip for my Prek kids!


text:
|glcb -- Greater Louisville Council of the Blind chapter
|About glcb
To see the collection of prior postings to the list, visit the glcb Archives. (The current archive is only available to the list members.)
|Using glcb
To post a message to all the list members, send email to
You can subscribe to the list, or change your existing subscription, in the sections below.
|Subscribing to glcb
Subscribe to glcb by filling out the following form. You will be sent email requesting confirmation, to prevent others from gratuitously subscribing you. Once confirmation is received, your request will be held for approval by the list moderator. You will be notified of the moderator's decision by email. This is also a private list, which means that the list of members is not available to non-members.
|glcb Subscribers
version 2.1.28

subset: commoncrawl


text:
KARACHI - Adviser to the Prime Minister on Foreign Affairs Sartaj Aziz has said that Pakistan desires good, friendly and lasting ties with the new American administration.
He was talking to media men at the Pakistan Institute of International Affairs (PIIA) here on Saturday.
Sartaj Aziz said that Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif's first contact with US President Donald Trump was a very pleasant one. Pakistan and US have some common objectives mainly the situation in Afghanistan, eradication of terrorism and enhancement in trade.
He further pointed out that Pakistan would continue to raise the Kashmir issue at every forum and platform and `I have given a policy statement on the floor of the House as well'.
The Adviser said that for the resolution of this outstanding issue, a number of letters had already been written to the United Nations Secretary General and the UN Security Council in this very regard.
He stated that India had been trying to divert world attention on the Kashmir issue by imputing false and baseless allegations. However, now there are voices emerging from within India itself that the Kashmir issue is a reality and its solution would have to be found.
Sartaj Aziz also spoke of the blatant violations of the Line of Control (LoC) by India and pointed out that Pakistan gave a befitting reply to the unprovoked Indian firing along the ceasefire line from time to time.
He said that India has now realised that the Kashmir issue cannot be suppressed.
To a question regarding the detention of Hafiz Muhammad Saeed, the Adviser said that Hafiz Saeed had been detained under the National Action Plan and this matter pertains to the Ministry of Interior.
To another question, he said that there is no plan under consideration for placing travel restrictions on the Pakistanis by the US.


text:
Friday, 29 October 2010
Beware the Chickens!
Animation made for Sunnyside Rural Trust (in Flash).
[View in fullscreen for all the little details!]
Posted by Chris Wright at 11:47 No comments:
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
Ood Party
Posted by Chris Wright at 11:51 1 comment:
Labels: doctor who, illustration
Friday, 1 October 2010
Let Go - Japanese Popstars
This is the latest music video for Japanese Popstars, directed by David Wilson, featuring some mind-boggling animation which I was lucky enough to help colour in parts of last week for David and the rest of the team working on it at Colonel Blimp, thanks to Toby Jackman (who did some of the animation along with several others, including Elena Pomares) for putting my name forward to the producer, always nice to be involved in something different.
Posted by Chris Wright at 07:26 No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)


text:
The lowdown
We understand a small boutique start-up may not want to commit to a monthly retainer. The Capsule Comms tailored consultancy service offers brand guidance for as long as you need support. We link up brands within the Capsule Comms portfolio with our extensive network of retailers to achieve an unrivalled support.


text:
Toggle shoutbox 343i Community Shoutbox
Search Results
By content type
By section
Community Spotlight: ForgeHub
ForgeHub is the center for all things Forge-related in the Halo Community. From map design to scripting, ForgeHub has a tutorial and/or several individuals who can help at any time. ForgeHub is home to several well-known Forgers and community members including WARHOLIC, Chronmeister, Commander Colson, and xdemption just to name some. Above you can see an image of their homepage which is updated frequently with news and tutorials (look at that awesome screenshot they got there!). Speaking of front page articles, this one is one of my favorite recurring articles on the site:
"...Forge-Cast is an article idea that i came up with that comes out every Monday. It gives a little recap of the previous week but mainly lists and talks about upcoming lobbies and article that are happening through out the week. This way people who visit the site can click on the front page article and be taken to a list of lobbies and what time they start, as well as a link to the lobby's thread.
Getting a lobby into the Forge-Cast is easy, all you need is to be a member of the site, post in the forums that you are starting a lobby, and list the times and other details about the lobby. I then see the lobby and put it into the article." - Sir Iron Wolf.
The Forge-Cast is also the number 1 source of our Community Calendar's content and we have Sir Iron Wolf to thank for that.
The Forums page hosts the Shoutbox which stays active at almost all hours of the day. ForgeHub doesn't have a lot of different forums as you can see so that keeps things easy and less cluttered. Being a Forge-based community, they don't need many other forums. This tab is also the place to find the most recent threads and see who's online.
The Map Database is separate from the Maps tab and is found in the forums. It's a catalog of different maps and discussions from each Halo game era. This keeps their Maps page and forums clean and up to date. Thousands of threads kept for accessing old files and proof of ForgeHub's transcendence through the different ages of Halo.
The Map library on ForgeHub is rivaled by none even today. Above are the 2000+ maps submitted to ForgeHub in only Halo 5: Guardians. Adding a map starts with a click of a button but then requires a description, player count, supported gametypes, images, and more. Not actually a difficult process. At the top you'll spot featured maps which include Sikamikanico's Fever Pitch, SaltyKoala's Port 66, and WyvernZu's Infinity Siege. You can't go wrong looking for a map on ForgeHub. And if you're a Forger yourself, then this is also a great place to get your map tested.
Lastly, here's a view of the current staff on ForgeHub minus a couple (sorry AlexVan and Doju). This is also not counting cartographers and 343 employees that frequent the site like WARHOLIC, AnonFriction, NOKYARD, and Godly Perfection.
So whether it's a place to show off your latest project, get it tested, or even get ideas or inspiration for future projects, I'd say ForgeHub is your destination. And then Twam said 'let all the Halo niche sites work together in piece and reunite the Halo Community.' Don't forget to follow ForgeHub on Twitterfor updates like their interview with the Tom French and Nahil Sharkasi of 343 Industries. While you're at it, read me and ForgeHub admin Sir Iron Wolf's latest interview. And finally look to their YouTubefor map features and tutorials. The end.
- Sep 13 2016 10:33 PM
- by Drizzy_Dan
Halo 2: Anniversary Forge
Halo 2: Anniversary Forge
As part of IGN first, 343i shows us how Forge will work in Halo 2 on their new 'Forge World'.
We will start off with a huge blank canvas, everything you see around you is part of the skybox so you can do everything you want to do. Place huge slabs of terrain to create an island to work on, go place some trees and rocks to make it look more natural. Once you go in to player mode everything will connect with eachother almost seamlessly.
As an example we get to see an entire map as large a Coagulation forged by one of the dev's to show us what we all can do when we get out hands on.
You'll be able to place interactive elements on the map. Like the EMP which is also featured in Coagulation, switches like we saw in Zenith and interactive doors activated by consoles like we saw in Stonetown. And yes the "Blue screen of death" appears on them when activated like in the original Zanzibar console.
But it doesn't stop there!
Using the consoles you can also spawn in set items in Player mode. From as small as a bridge to entire race tracks. Get creative!
What's also worth pointing out is that we get a glimpse of Beaver Creek that the dev's forged in.
Didn't your favourite map get remade? You can now Forge it yourself!
Get a look at it for yourself here:
Have you already got an idea about how you're going to use the Forge?
Let us know down below!
Thank you for reading!
- Oct 28 2014 12:47 PM
- by Unease Peanut
343iCF Weekly Site Wrapup 11/4/13
Ok so we skipped a week and now it's time for a late Wrapup:
Primary Announcement: I've made the first tags the prefixes for these threads as a little extra pizzazzzzzzz
There are ideas in the works so don't worry too much. We just want them to be as good as possible for you guys to enjoy and not have repeats of that time where it was just me, Boss, and JL playing Reach campaign talking about RP for 2 hours.
Member Created Events
BUNS' Totally Boss Halo 3 Playdate
Member of the Month, Buns, teams up with D-38 Boss, who has an almost perfect attendance record for Events, to bring you a night full of Halo 3 fun. Read the details including time and RSVPing by clicking the emblem above.
Halo 4's Birthday Playdate
New blood UNSC Spartan II collaborated with Beckoningzebra on this one to bring everyone to Halo 4 for its anniversary! Make it if you can, it's bound to be a good time!
Related: Populate Halo 4 Day
Here's a video by our good friend Brett supporting the idea of bringing players back to Halo 4 so this should be extra incentive to join UNSC Spartan II and BZ in their Event and have some good old fashion Halo 4 fun!
We still want your ideas so post them here.
DocSpartanO07 - One of our finest and most vigilant Community Moderators. A senior member who reminds me of what this forum is all about and where it's come from.
Forging The Future
The future of Machinima has arrived! Here is a huge project started by our Art Department's Gryffin in association with THFE and ourselves. He's got a lot of members voice acting for him and we're backing this Machinima 100%. It's about 5 Spartans that get sent to Earth to find Monitors that landed there after Requiem exploded. There is lots of work being put into this project by many members of the site and we should see S1E1 here at some point!
343 Industries Community Forge Project
By this point you should know what the CFP is and if you don't then read about it here.
Post some ideas for our community in the CFP Idea Discussion thread here.You will partake in the Community Forge Project...
Sand/Snow in Halo 4 Forge
Talented Forger RegrettedKarma came across some awesome content by the OnlineKnights that shows you how you can make it look like there's snow of sand on your map in Halo 4's Forge. Very interesting stuff and just another example of how limitless Halo 4's Forge is. Check out his post and the video by the OnlineKnights by clicking the image. Isn't that a nice image of Forged snow?
Featured Map
Nuclear Bombs in Halo 4
Here's a really unique idea for a map. It's based on a timer and after that timer is up a big flash appears on screen and everyone dies.. Which explains the name. It's really fun and has potential for a lot of mini games. This map was made by the member JooJoona and is better explained by him in his map submission thread.
Meet Xbox One
So if you haven't seen it yet I suggest you click the picture and check it out. It's a very cool video by Microsoft showing off the Kinect 2 features the Xbox One has and flaunts the Xbox One's agile ability to switch and snap functions with just your voice.
Halo: Spartan Assault: Coming to Xbox 360 and Xbox One
Great news! A lot of Halo fans have been waiting for this and it's been confirmed that this holiday season, Halo: Spartan Assault will be available for Xbox 360 and Xbox One. Prepare to drop. (< Unrelated ODST reference). Article by BZ!
Xbox One: Invitation
If you own a tv for anything other than video games then you have to have seen this already but in case you didn't here's the video provided by Choot 'em. I'm a fan! Leave Choot comments and likes.
For more Gaming News check out the latest on our Front Page.
The Crazy Grunt's Riddle Challenge is a long lasting forum game here and it's fifth round has seen its death and is trying to make a revival thanks to haloman2. It's a fun game if you love riddles and puzzles and above is a picture of the very exclusive Award you get if you win the Crazy Grunt's Riddle Challenge!
What? Buns gets a section of the Wrapup to himself again? This can't be right.. But wait it is! It is exactly right and it has never been MORE right! Buns is our newest Member of the Month! Find his MoM Post by clicking his profile pic there.
Another one bites the dust. Now scroll back up and read it all over again.
- Nov 05 2013 02:59 PM
- by Drizzy_Dan
Halo 4 Free Roaming Flood Forge Off!
For those of you who love forging Zombie invested landscapes or feel like it is time for you to take a stab at creating a brain sucking nightmare we challenge you to bring our worst dreams to life with the living dead!
This will be a forge contest based on
Forgers are required to use the
Every map must be suitable for play with 10-12 players per game.
We encourage you to test your maps before you submission to the contest.
You are only allowed to submit one map per forger or forge team.
You may forge with a partner, but only one prize per map will be offered.
To sign up for the contest, you must reply to this thread, listing your file share gamer tag, map name, description (if you choose) and only one image.
Your map must be tagged with "DFO1" and remain in your file share for the duration of the contest and judging.
Judging based on a 30 point system with 10 points per each category.
Categories are:
Map Balance
Game Play
Donut of 343industries.org, Elliot of ForgeHub.com, Absolute Dog of 343industries.org
Play Testing provided by
Prize is either the Champions Bundle for Halo 4 (releases August 20th), 1600 ms points, or 3 month XBL gold.
Feature video on both THFE 's and Mr Pokefiles You Tube Channels
Choice of concept art for either Impact, Erosion or Ravine signed by
Certain Affinity
2nd Place
Feature video on both THFE's and Mr Pokefiles You Tube Channels
Choice of concept art for either Impact, Erosion or Ravine signed by
Certain Affinity
3rd Place
Feature video on both THFE's and Mr Pokefiles You Tube Channels
Due Date
Final map submissions are due no later than 11:59 PM EST August 31st
The Questions and Answers thread
Flood images used for this thread were obtained from Sneaky Baron.
- Jul 31 2013 03:43 PM
- by Donut
"Meet Your Maker" - Dominion
That's right........"Meet Your Maker" Forge Contest is back!
- Jul 25 2013 06:10 PM
- by Absolute Dog
Halo 4 Panel Pax East
Here is the Halo 4 panel from PAX east where the 343 team discusses all things multiplayer for Halo 4. They talk to us about the new TU coming, the new castle map pack and we get a demonstration of the new forge world. So enjoy.
The video was uploaded by Podtac TV.
- Mar 23 2013 01:26 PM
- by Adam91
Forge World Coming To Halo 4?
Could It Be Possible That We Are
Getting A Forge World For Halo 4?
Halo4Follower got tipped to go back and look at the images from the Valentines Day
Waypoint Bulletin because there were some questionable images.
He came out with a video analyzing these images so take a look below.
Video By: Halo4Follower
What do you think about these images?
In my personal opinion I think it could be possible that they would
give us a forge world spin off of some sort.
They have been very responsive to the community about a lot of other very specific aspects.
In particular this image
Picture By: Halo Waypoint
This looks like Montana and Alaska from forge world but if you look closely
it looks redefined in a Halo 4 sort of way.
And in reach new forge environment became available with some DLC as well.
Could this be 343 hinting at a new forge world in the upcoming DLC?
Leave your thoughts in the comments below
- Feb 19 2013 09:32 AM
- by Cooliest
Far Cry 3 Map "Creator"
So Far Cry 3 is Just Around The Corner
And It Looks Sweet
Far Cry is not a game that I've ever gotten into,
but this review suddenly makes me want to.
Our very own, The Halo Forge Epidemic, has done a stunning review
for this up and coming game.
They did the review because they are technically a "gaming" channel so they
fall under all gaming categories.
But they also fit well with this game because of it's stunning
Here is the video.
Video By THFE
What do you guys think of this impressive forging engine?
Just Imagine what you can do.
- Nov 29 2012 10:26 AM
- by Cooliest
New Halo 4 Forge Video From GameSpot (New Forge...
"Create beautiful maps almost by accident in Halo 4's overhauled Forge mode. Kynan Pearson and Lori Zawada walk us through the improvements to Forge."
Source: http://www.gamespot....iveHalo4ForgeMo
A new 10+ minute long Halo 4 Forge video showcasing a new amazing Forge environment and a lot more. Check it out right now!
Insane stuff!
- Oct 09 2012 12:08 PM
- by VEF214
Remade Map confirmed to be returning in halo 4
Information From Frank's Twitter
Frank O'Connor has tweeted confirming that a map remake will be in Halo 4. He has not confirmed which map it is yet but gives a very brief description.
Here is what he said:
"Halo 4 only includes one map remake. I know what it is, it is good. It will cause the least drama of any new thing. It is NOT Small."
I'm thinking maybe its Blood Gulch but who knows, leave a comment on what map you want it to be.
- Sep 09 2012 03:58 AM
- by Adam91


text:
So what else is worth a lot, including his computer, we always want to see how good this guy. Some have been very slow, what you've got to look hard. Sometimes cpu One of the fans in the cold in a heated because it is disabled by bullying. So we have a computer motherboard CPU Power supply voltage check on how active Quarters time fan or unimaginable.
We see how the computer test
You can see how accurate the data show. laptop with the software so pressed to see the game and had to start at the end of the temperature and the temperature rhythm games.Click here to get this software.
Technical Details
- Software Name : HWMonitor
- File size : 1.3MB
- Requirements : Windows All
- License : Freeware
- Publisher website : www.cpuid.com


text:
"This is not a date."
Michelle Obama, played by actress Tika Sumpter, is emphatic about this throughout most of the hour-and-twenty-four minute film chronicling her first whatever-you-want-to-call-it with a then 28-year-old Barack Obama, who is played by Parker Sawyers. Written and directed by Richard Tanne, Southside With You, which The Cinema Society premiered in New York City on Wednesday evening, is a moving portrait of the beginnings of America's most powerful and steadfast couple. And despite knowing how it ends, Sumpter and Sawyers' uncanny portrayals and Tanne's thoughtful dialogue keeps you with them every step of the way.
Based on primary source material, the Obamas' first outing in 1989 began (after much cajoling on Barack's part) with a trip to the Art Institute of Chicago to see an Afrocentric exhibit. Then, Barack brings Michelle to a community meeting where he makes one of those speeches that moves an entire nation to fall in love with him, not to mention his future wife — who up until that moment was still a skeptic.
"Never dim your light for anyone," said Sumpter of what she learned from playing a stubborn Ms. Obama. "If someone's for you, it'll happen the way it's supposed to be."
When it comes to her own first dates, they weren't nearly as momentous. "I was left with the bill once," she said of her worst experience. "You know when you're both just staring at the check? And then he had to go and I had to pick it up! Rude!"
Sawyers, however, fondly remembers splitting the check with his wife on their first date. To each their own, apparently.
If Sumpter possesses a similar radiance to the first lady, Sawyers is a dead ringer for Barack Obama. He is tall and slender with a soft yet impactful voice. And not only does Sawyers look like Barack, he also has a knack for capturing the President's mannerisms.
"I watched as many candid moments as I could," he said. "Anything I could find if him stopping in Martha's Vineyard at store or when he voted once in Chicago. Anything where I could see his relaxed swagger. Even when he's off duty, he still talks slowly and considers what he's going to say next."
As we come to the end of the Obama era, a glimpse of their lives before the White House was made all the more bittersweet. At least they'll have more time for date nights after November.
Watch W's most popular videos here:


text:
You may already be tired of Taylor Swift's new single, or you're just in the market for some fresh new tunes. Wherever you are, we curated a cheesy playlist that's perfect for the next time you're noshing on one of our mac and cheeses or any other cheesy treat.
1. Cheeseburger in Paradise - Jimmy Buffett
It's still summer, no matter how much you wish it was fall. This one's a no-brainer.
2. Cheese - Jazzinuf
This song is so jazzy. Listen to it while you wait for your delicious bowl of Dan's Gourmet to heat up.
3. Mac n' Cheese Monday - Jake Edwards
Because all Mondays are Mac Mondays.
4. Sometimes a River - String Cheese Incident
While not necessarily about cheese, the String Cheese Incident has one of the best band names we've ever heard.
5. Addicted - Simple Plan
We are so, so addicted to mac, y'all.
6. Heaven is a Place on Earth - Belinda Carlisle
This is exactly what you think as soon as you take a bite of any of our six varieties.
7. Mice Eat Cheese - Modest Mouse
Mice eat cheese because they know what's up.
8. You're The One That I Want - John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John
What I sing to myself when I see Dan's Gourmet mac and cheese in my freezer.


text:
Your garden is already the greenest part of your home, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement. Taking steps like planting tree cover to lower your household energy usage and switching to handheld gardening tools can cut down on the amount of harmful gases you produce and help pave the way for a greener planet. You might be surprised by how big a difference even small changes can make.
Method 1 of 3:
Choosing the Right Plants
1Grow your own vegetables and fruits. Set aside one corner of your garden for tending a few small crops like tomatoes, strawberries, beans, peppers, and squash. Fewer trips to the grocery store will help you save money and fuel, as well as say no to the plastic bags and packages that have a tendency to pile up once you're there.[1]
- Raising a selection of your own crops will also ensure that you always have fresh, healthy fruits and vegetables to eat.
- Make room for a patch of fresh herbs like rosemary, basil, and cilantro. You'll then have everything you need to put together a delicious meal.[2]
2Fill in open space with trees, shrubs, and flowers. The less grass there is covering your lawn, the less gas you'll consume while mowing it. In addition, trees and other large plants absorb carbon and convert it to clean, breathable oxygen, which helps to purify the air.
- Attractive, well-kept landscaping can also add value to your property, making it practical as well as responsible.
3Plant shade-producing trees near your home. A wall of natural shade can cool your home during the summer and block cold winds in the winter. Situate your trees near your fenceline to establish a boundary, or disperse them throughout your yard for more of a forest effect.[3]
- Trees can offer privacy when strategically positioned near windows, patios, and property lines.
- Prune the lower branches of trees planted on the sunrise side of your home to keep them from obstructing the view.
4Bring in more native plants that are well-suited for your area. These species generally require less water and fertilizer, and will have all the nutrients they need in the surrounding soil. They're also more resistant to common pests, which means you won't be forced to saturate your lawn or garden with harmful pesticides.[4]
- Consult a regional gardening handbook or use an online plant finder tool to learn what sorts of plants are indigenous to your area.[5]
- Native plants play a vital role in supporting a diverse and flourishing local ecosystem.
Method 2 of 3:
Reducing, Reusing, and Recycling
1Decrease the overall size of your lawn. Put in a paved patio or picnic area to create some outdoor living space. Alternatively, you could add ornamental touches like a man-made pond, rock garden, or bed of wildflowers The idea is to limit the amount of space that has to be regularly mowed, fertilized, or sprayed.
- Grass itself is an unexpected source of serious carbon emissions. Downsizing therefore not only has the potential to beautify your property, but make it that much greener at the same time.[6]
- Consider relocating your gardening hutch or workshed to one corner of your yard to cover up patches of unused grass.
2Turn kitchen and garden waste into useful compost. Buy or make a compost bin, or simply designate an out-of-the way corner of your yard as a dump site—all you need is a space about 3 square feet in size. You can throw in anything that's biodegradable, including grass clippings, raked leaves, fruit and vegetable scraps, and even shredded newspaper or cardboard.[7]
- Turn the compost frequently with a rake and keep it slightly moist to speed up the decomposition process.
- Never put meats, dairy products, or processed food items in your compost pile. The bacteria that accumulates when these items decompose can pose a health risk.[8]
3Apply mulch liberally around plants and trees to conserve water. Spread the mulch a few inches away from the base of your plants and water it thoroughly. Mulch promotes healthy growth, prevents runoff, and smothers weeds. It even insulates root systems during particularly hot or cold stretches of weather.[9]
4Collect and store rainwater in barrels. Set up your barrels near your garden so that you'll always have a fresh supply of water close at hand. You can use this water to fill watering cans and give thirsty plants, trees, and crops just as much moisture as they need rather than letting the hose run interminably.
- If you live in an area that receives sparse precipitation, situate your rain barrels under a downspout to help them fill up faster.
- Rainwater can even be used for drinking once it's been properly purified.[12]
5Stop using chemical fertilizers and pesticides. These products contain chemicals that may be harmful to both the user and the surrounding environment. If you want to be more mindful of your cultivation practices, switch to all-natural organic fertilizers and pesticides, or learn to make your own from basic household items.[13]
- You can also use the material from your compost pile for fertilizer, effectively killing two birds with one stone.
Method 3 of 3:
Using More Efficient Tools
1Make use of handheld tools whenever possible. There are plenty of opportunities to go green while tending to the sweat-inducing work in your garden. Leave the gas-powered tools in the garage and start raking leaves and pulling weeds by hand. You could even downgrade to a push mower to keep your lawn tidy while getting a workout in![14]
- Other options for manual manicuring include tilling the soil with a trowel and using an axe to chop up downed trees.
2Invest in a soaker hose. Traditional irrigation systems like sprinklers are responsible for a lot of wasted water. With a soaker hose, you're only giving your plants as much moisture as they can absorb at one time. And since that water is being deployed from ground level at an extremely low pressure, there's less chance of overwatering or causing destructive runoff.[15]
- Simply stretch your soaker hose out along the base of your plants and turn on the main water supply. You can even snake it throughout your garden to make sure the water is only going where you need it.
- Soaker hoses have been shown to use 30-50% less water on average than standard irrigation systems, which means you'll be saving money while doing your part to save the planet.[16]
3Keep your electric and gas-powered equipment in good condition. Get in the habit of performing routine maintenance on your tools. Replace air filters at regular intervals, and have cutting blades sharpened or changed as soon as they start to dull. By keeping your motorized equipment running efficiently, you can reduce their overall energy consumption.[17]
- Most basic maintenance tasks are simple and inexpensive enough to take care of yourself.
4Install solar landscape lighting to conserve energy. Solar lights get their power directly from the sun, so they won't put a drain on the local electricity or your wallet. They're a cinch to put in—all you have to do is hang them up or stake them into the ground along the walkways in your garden. As an added bonus, most types come equipped with dimness sensors, so you'll never have to worry about forgetting to turn them on and off.[18]
- No wiring or complicated parts means no calls to the electrician for repairs.
- Another major advantage of solar lighting sources is that they'll continue to provide illumination even in the event of a power outage.[19]
Community Q&A
QuestionAre electric tools more carbon-friendly than gasoline?Community AnswerNo. Over years, the electric would be a better choice, but both impact your carbon footprint.
QuestionWhy is there no consideration given to using hand tools instead of power-tools in the garden? The average garden in a modern housing development is now fairly modest, so manageable with hand tools.Community AnswerThis is an excellent point. A bit of elbow grease will go a long way in reducing your carbon footprint. A small garden can easily be managed with a hand shovel and a few other manual tools.
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.Submit
- Whenever possible, look for natural alternatives to commercial gardening supplies. The energy that goes into manufacturing, packaging, and transporting these products also contributes indirectly to your carbon footprint.Thanks!
- If you really want to go the extra mile, utilize planters and waste containers made from recycled materials, or rig up your own from repurposed objects like boxes or tires.Thanks!
- Research all new additions to your garden thoroughly before you plant them. Under the wrong conditions, some species actually give off more carbon than they take in.Thanks!
About This Article
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 21,568 times.
- ↑ https://www.motherearthnews.com/organic-gardening/10-best-garden-crops-for-beginners
- ↑ http://www.eatingwell.com/article/15914/13-easy-to-grow-vegetables-and-herbs/
- ↑ https://www.arborday.org/trees/climatechange/summershade.cfm
- ↑ https://njaes.rutgers.edu/fs1140/
- ↑ https://www.nwf.org/NativePlantFinder/About
- ↑ http://www.thetrustees.org/what-we-care-about/the-natural-world/archive/reduce-garden-footprint.html
- ↑ https://www.rodalesorganiclife.com/garden/how-compost
- ↑ https://www.bhg.com/gardening/yard/compost/how-to-compost/
- ↑ https://www.almanac.com/blog/gardening/garden-journal/mulching-guide-benefits-mulch
- ↑ https://www.smilinggardener.com/lessons/best-mulch-types/
- ↑ https://www.arborday.org/trees/tips/mulching.cfm
- ↑ http://www.harvesth2o.com/filtration_purification.shtml
- ↑ http://www.thetrustees.org/what-we-care-about/the-natural-world/archive/reduce-garden-footprint.html
- ↑ http://www.thetrustees.org/what-we-care-about/the-natural-world/archive/reduce-garden-footprint.html
- ↑ https://www.growveg.com/guides/how-to-install-soaker-hoses-in-your-vegetable-garden/
- ↑ https://www.rodalesorganiclife.com/garden/soaker-hose-drip-irrigation-system
- ↑ https://www.homedepot.com/c/how_to_maintain_lawn_mower_HT_PG_OD
- ↑ https://energy.gov/energysaver/save-electricity-and-fuel/lighting-choices-save-you-money/outdoor-solar-lighting
- ↑ http://www.solarhome.org/infobenefitsofsolarlighting.html
Did this article help you?


text:
Welcome to the friendly launch of Ian Hall Author DOT COM.
I had to do it.
I was originally just writing the sequel to Jamie, but got kinda distracted by Kindle, Nook and other eBook formats for my short stories and other novels.
Yes, I know it's short term gratification, but who cares.
Anyway, I thought I'd better get a site for all of my works, rather than just dump it all over poor Jamie.
So, here it is....
Full of books, nice formatted covers, lots of clicky links, and probably easier to navigate round than the Caribbean.


text:
Art by Tara Jacoby.
Steam is perhaps the most monolithic gaming platform, the PC's biggest show in town by a long shot. It's also a multi-layered mess of systems and ideas, a Frankenstein UI (FrankenstUIn) assembled from limbs and tissue whose purposes are dimly remembered at best. It annoys the piss out of me sometimes, is what I'm saying.
Valve's one-stop PC gaming shop/community/home for wayward algorithms isn't outright broken, but many of its constituent elements have had ridiculous amounts of clunk in the trunk for years. It's like a long-term relationship: minor annoyances become magnified over time until they're like concentrated beams of sunlight burning holes in your goddamn skull. Here are my favourites!
When "remember my password" doesn't remember my password.
You have one job, tiny check box on the login screen. It's not even complicated.
When I have to click my way through a small labyrinth to see a full list of newly-released games.
Once upon a time, finding a full list of newly-released games on Steam was as simple as clicking a tab. Now it's a whole freaking process.
First you have to scroll down to the "new and trending" tab on the front page. Then you have to click the "see more new releases" button at the bottom of that. Instead of taking you to a list of new releases, as you would expect, it takes you to another page that is functionally very similar to the page you were just on.
Then you've gotta scroll down to another box and click the "new releases" (as opposed to "popular new releases") tab in that. Then you've gotta scroll to the bottom of that and finally the holy grail, an "all new releases" button, is within your grasp.
When I want to go to one of two entirely different Steam Workshop pages, but end up at the other one.
Steam has two landing pads for Workshop, its selection of user-made mods. The main one, which you access from the drop down "community" menu at the top of the screen, conveys basically no actual information about any mods.
It just shows you some icons for games that have mods and gives you news about updates to the Workshop on Valve's end. You're better off just searching for games' Workshop pages individually. The other main Workshop page can be found if you click the "community" button at the top of the screen instead of mousing over it, then click a different "Workshop" option on that page.
This gives you a list of popular and recent mods that's vaguely useful if you want to see what modders have been up to lately. It's also buried like the pet goldfish your parents accidentally killed and never, ever want you to know about.
When that green banner asking "is this still your current email address" pops up again and again and again.
Yes, it is. It has been for 13 fucking years. Please stop asking me.
When unreleased games show up in the "new releases" section for no apparent reason.
Oh dang, I had no idea this cool-looking game was out already! Oh wait, just kidding: it's not releasing until the year Mega Man X takes place.
When I tell Steam to download a game I want to play now, and it immediately shoves it to the bottom of a queue of ten other downloads that I do not give a single shit about.
If I'm trying to download a game now, the implication is that I want to play it as close to now as possible.
I don't want to feel my bones decaying and my skin sagging as a bunch of random updates move like a pack of terminally ill slugs, nor do I want to realise 40 minutes after the fact that the download I wanted hasn't even started yet.
When, once I manually shove a game to the top of the download queue, Steam has to "allocate disk space" for 12 minutes.
Why does this particular thing take so long? What's the deal? These are rhetorical questions! I'm not a tech wizard and don't actually care about the answers! I just want this process to take fewer than a million years!
When downloads hit 100 per cent, and then nothing happens, seemingly for no reason.
See previous entry.


text:
The current decade has been extraordinarily kind to investors in almost every asset class. Since the international financial crises towards the end of this century's first decade, stock markets have boomed, as has real estate and commodity prices risen. The manager of one investment Trust believes that, blips like the crises aside, the last 35 years have been extremely kind to investors due to a general course of 'disinflation' that has been largely maintained by the big Western economies. The resulting fall in interest rates has led to capital gains for all financial assets, believes Peter Spiller, manager of the 'ultra-conservative' Capital Gearing Trust since it was first launched in 1982.
A recent article in the Telegraph newspaper's Questor investment-picking focused column interviewed Spiller who believes that the acceleration of the debt pile built up by Western economies that led to the 2008 crises has been temporarily solved by more debt. Spiller believes that long term the only way countries such as the U.S. and the UK can extract themselves from their huge national debts will be to allow inflation to power ahead of short-term interest rates. He believes that, though it can't be accurately predicted when the process may start, the next 35 years may turn out to be the inverse of the previous when it comes to the direction of inflation.
Spiller thinks that central banks in developed nations will continue to support growth in the shorter term as their countries are so highly-leveraged that any recession would be a disaster. This will, in turn, lead to rising inflation over time and falling corporate profitability and returns. The Capital Gearing Trust is geared for this scenario and has the stated objective of wealth preservation as its first aim with absolute total returns only "over the medium to longer term".
As a result, the Trust has a fairly unusual make-up of assets. 24% of capital is allocated to defensive equities, 16% to property and a full third to index-linked government bonds. 20% is in corporate bonds and preference shares and the remaining 3% held in cash and gold.
The property allocation has exposure to the German residential property market and funds with a focus on index-linked leases on British property such as that owned by housing associations. Spiller makes sure that the Trust will have plenty of resources available to it when, as he expects, risk assets fall in value. As such, dividends are kept to a minimum with yields of under 1%.
Professional money managers have, over the past couple of years, been building larger allocations to defensive assets of the kind Spiller's trust embodies. Holders of online stocks and shares ISAs who are concerned the good times may finally draw to a close might also consider starting to set aside larger allocations to more defensive assets such as the Capital Gearing Trust.


text:
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Mini Magazine RECIPE Holder
The dimensions you need for this version are:
Start with card stock that measures 10 1/2" by 8".
Score 8" side at 3 1/4" and 4 3/4".
Score 10 1/2" side at 2" and 5 1/2".
My holder is made with Sahara Sand card stock and the sides are covered with SU's retired holiday DP, Dashing. (my new holiday paper is en route). The label on the side is made with a stamp from Paper Trey's Holiday Label set. I tried out my new Spellbinders die for the snowflake that is behind the sentiment. For all you SU only's out there, there is a Sizzix snowflake die available from SU that would fit the bill. It all sits on some wide red grosgrain ribbon. Here is a close up of the side label.
I made a dozen recipe cards to go inside and there is room for lots more! I used SU's, From the Kitchen, set for the cards and since I did not know what recipes I would be using exactly, I went with the "from the kitchen of" stamp. To keep the color scheme going, I used vanilla, real red and Sahara sand card stock. A few slivers of left-over Dashing DP line the bottoms. I have lots of holiday recipes that I plan to put onto these cards.
For those visual readers out there, I thought I would show you a photo of the 3 mini mag holders side by side. The unfinished one is the original sized holder from Becky's template. Kinda a baby bear, mama bear and papa bear thing going on here, lol!
This is not one of my holiday recipes but in the theme of food/recipes I wanted to share one of my favorite fall things. This recipe is actually from my friend Elissa and when ever she would bring it to a gathering I would hover over it until I was sick.
I don't even know it's official name, I just call it Peanut Apple Dip. It's easy peasy to put together.
1 8oz brick cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup white sugar
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup chopped peanuts
Mix it all together and serve with sliced apples. Yummo!
We are in the middle of apple season at the moment and our absolute favorite are Honey Crisp apples. We aren't the only ones who love them and since they are a new variety you pay more for them. Soooo worth it though.
So, now it is your turn to come up with mini mag ideas. Keep the sharing going and be sure to let me know if you post something.
7 comments:
- Laura (scrapnextras) said...
Love this one too! REcipe cards and post it notes are my weeknesses...I have them all over the house. Love this idea! The dip sounds awesome too, especially given that our apple tree is about to yield 20 bushels! Thanks!
- Gail S. said...
Soooooo cute!! I am definately going to try this! Thank you and thanks also for the recipe!! I am going to try that also.
- Discount Cards said...
I love to see this nice looking magazine recipe. I definitely work on this ad try this one for my next project.
- Plastic Card said...
Wow its so pretty and delicious. I just wanna eat these apples..:)
- Zafran ali said...
gift pakistan.
- Joseph said...
We can put wedding card and bulk of card in this card holder.
Gift Card printing
Scratch Cards
Printed Gift Cards
[p]Tiffany acquired jewels and jewelry from Tiffany Outlet European aristocracy to be vendored to America's top-notch! The political undermining regarding Europe's nobility and France's economic collapse in 1847 substantially lowered the values regarding ostentatious jewelry and also gems! and Tiffany had been quick to seize about the opportunity, He made considerable purchases from Eu nobility . If you ever [url=http://www.ttiffanyandcorings.co.uk]tiffany silver rings[/url] need to have more specifics just adhere to this :
http://www . com/np/blogs/theampersand/archive/2009/11/18/aerosmith-still-on-the-rocks-says-less-famous-band-members . Charms from the cares interesting or elegant entertainment, [url=http://www.ttiffanyandcorings.co.uk]tiffany rings[/url] home life, is capable of puzzled himself in the wildest chases and frivolous investigations . One striking example is the 6-prong [url=http://www.ttiffanyandcorings.co.uk]tiffany wedding rings[/url] diamond engagement ring that was introduced as far back as 1886 . "They look artistic and captivating prints . in/sns/pg/file/duongpdux08/read/3105084/christian-louboutin-pumps-that-your-slight-token-o [url=http://www.ttiffanyandcorings.co.uk]tiffany rings sale[/url] 猫聛陆 http://iyc . Vics Fine Jewelry is a leading provider of south sea pearls online . This will help you gauge how they value customers like you, and will give you an idea on the [url=http://www.ttiffanyandcorings.co.uk]tiffany and co rings[/url] type of service you are about to expect from them, especially if you are going to deal with online transactions.[/p]


text: 8 Health Checks You Can Do at Home There are several health checks you can do at home to look at your vision, food tolerance, digestive health, and many other aspects that can indicate that something is going on with your body. If you do these health checks frequently, it can help you control your health and identify if it is necessary to see a specialist. Do you want to learn how to do these?. Taste. For this test you will need a little blue food coloring, which you will apply to the tongue using a little cotton. You are then going to observe the results with a magnifying glass by counting the number of taste buds close to the front part of the tongue. If you count 20 or more blue points you have a good sense of taste and could be known as a "supertaster". According to some articles this isn't good, since a "supertaster" is associated with a higher risk for certain types of cancer. Some vegetables like broccoli and cabbage have bitter components that help protect against cancer, but these foods can be really unsavory for a supertaster. Basically, the correlation between being a supertaster and having a higher risk of cancer is due to the sensitivity to vegetables, which are high in cancer-fighting antioxidants and vitamins. Retention of liquids. To see if you are retaining liquids, press downward firmly with your thumb in three or four places on the upper and lower parts of the legs. If the area you press stays white for a couple seconds after you remove your thumb, you are retaining fluids. You can tell by seeing if the knees or ankles look swollen. In this case, it is recommended to eat less salt in foods and eliminate processed foods from your diet. It is also good to drink more water. Anemia. A lack of iron in the diet can cause anemia. To test whether or not you suffer from anemia, extend your hand out with your palm face up and push the fingers back. If after a few seconds the hand looks paler, especially the deep lines, you can tell this may be a problem. It is better to consult a physician to confirm the diagnosis. If you are suffering from anemia, eating red meat and leafy greens can help. Food tolerance. Take a spoonful of baking soda, and mix it with a glass of water and drink it. If you burp immediately after, that is a good sign. Putting and alkaline substance into the stomach creates gas. If you don't burp, it can be a sign that the levels of stomach acid are low and aren't absorbing all of the nutrients in food. Vision. If you want to test your vision, walk 20 full steps back from a parked car. Then look at the license plate. Can you read the numbers with clarity? If you notice some distortion or blurriness, it is a sign that something isn't right. It is best to go see a specialist. Cholesterol. If you want to test whether or not your cholesterol levels are high, look at the skin above and below the eyes. Are there any yellow spots? These are fat deposits that indicate high cholesterol. If this occurs, it is best to see a doctor to take the necessary measures. These little balls of fat only show up when cholesterol is very high for an extended period of time. Digestive health. Many times, when certain types of foods are digested, you can immediately feel full, bloated, or heavy. If you want to know if this is due to a food intolerance do the following test:. Before eating a food that upsets your stomach, take your pulse. Afterwards, eat a medium to large-sized portion of this food, and take your pulse. If you notice that it has increased more than 10 beats per minute, it is likely due to a food allergy. Lung function. If you want to test your lung functioning and possible problems, stand about 30 centimeters away from a burning candle and exhale with the mouth open. Do you notice a strange sound? If this occurs it can be a warning sign of asthma, especially if you tend to cough at night. If you don't have these symptoms but feel that your lungs aren't as flexible as they should be, it is possible that you aren't in good physical shape.


text:
Our Sunkissed Body Primer 150ml, is an essential accessory in your bronzing routine. Formulated with a blend of fruit AHAs, known for their gentle chemical peel action, the exfoliators will leave your skin feeling soft and smooth.
Apply before tanning to slough away dull skin and to prepare for a longer lasting, more even application. You can also use this unique formula after application to smooth out any excess colour and clean your hands.
For the best results apply onto your skin and leave for a minute for the AHA's to start working then massage into your skin and wash of with a soapy bodywash and water. We recommedn using 1-2 times a week to keep your healthy glow and your tan even.
If you have any tan questions please contact us on social @welovesunkissed using #asktheexpert and we'll be happy to help you with our top tanning tips!
There are currently no reviews for this product. Be the first to leave one.
Copyright © 2020 - Sunkissed. (* - Approx. pricing, charged in GBP)


text:
In production and development:
"One In A Million" A true life journey set on the backdrop of NASCAR, introducing a legend NASCAR fans never got to meet.
"Ex-Terminators" A dark comedy in the current hot genre of women-power with a Desperate Housewives/Thelma and Louise setting.
Along with two other untitled films, Jay Michaelson is working with some of the biggest names in Hollywood and the Country Music industry putting Michaelson Productions in the forefront of independent Hollywood.
Jay Michaelson in eight short years has accumulated a wealth of knowledge and experience from respected industry professionals on both sides of the camera. He has just completed the award winning documentary film "IN A WHISPER." He wrote, directed and produced the film in conjunction with Rope The Moon Productions. "IN A WHISPER" is a first ever competition between three of the greatest horse whisperers in the world, shot entirely in the middle of Sundance Square, downtown Fort Worth, Texas. While simultaneously securing funds and acting as associate producer on the Rope The Moon's family film, "Grand Champion." The film boasts an all-star cast that includes Joey Lauren Adams, Emma Roberts, Jacob Fisher, Buck Taylor as well as appearances by Julia Roberts, Bruce Willis, George Strait, Natalie Maines, Charlie Robison, Robert Earl Keen, Joe Ely and many more.
Prior to opening Michaelson Productions, Jay's production experience on both sides of the camera include, acting and stunts, producers assistant to Jonni Hartman, personal assistant to Clint Black, assistant to UPM, audio engineer, floor director, director, writer, associate producer and producer. He has learned from such industry giants as Turner Networks Television, Hallmark Entertainment, DePasse Entertainment, Larry Levinson Productions, Von Zerneck Sertner films, Superior Productions, the Shapiros and Hartman and Black Productions. He has also received a wealth of information from such "A" list directors as John Milius, Yves Simoneau, Tom Doerner, Alex Munoz and Hyatt Bass.
Some of his credits include, "Dead Mans Walk," "Rough Riders," "U.S. Marshalls," "Camp Charlie," "Finding North," "Party Girls," "75 Degrees In July," " Holiday In Your Heart," and "Still Holding On." A few of Jay's commercial credits include, Dr. Pepper, American Airlines, Chevy, Direct TV, and Doritos.
Jay's main passion and focus for the industry is creating fresh new concepts of exceptional independent films and documentaries. Studio quality projects with the integrity and passion of a small production company.


text:
Around and About .....
There's something for everyone in Snowdonia, far too much to summarise here!
Just 5 minutes drive away is the village of Llandanwg with a lovely beach, perfect
for rock pooling. Just behind the dunes is the lovely little Y Maes cafe and the
exsquisite 12C St Tanwg church. Harlech beach is a spectacular, unspoilt, three mile
stretch of golden sand that is never crowded and an excellent walk at any time of
day but particularly near sunset. If it's raining, visit the Llanfair Slate Caverns
also 5 minutes away, and just below the caverns is the Children's Farm Park -
There are plenty of walks for every ability starting from the farm -
Though small, Harlech itself has plenty to offer-
Portmeirion & Porthmadog are within easy reach by car or train. Porthmadog has shops
catering for most of your needs from Tesco's etc to a very well stocked caravan &
camping shop. The Ffestiniog steam railway runs between Porthmadog & Blaenau Ffestiniog
offering a train journey through spectacular countryside -
Anglesey is just over an hours drive away -
Snowdon, which is prominently visible from the farm, is about 50 minutes drive along
a very scenic road. Take the mountain railway to the top -
Cyclists are frequent visitors to Merthyr Farm with Route 8 -
Below are a few links that may be of interest to you ....
Merthyr Farm
Harlech, Gwynedd Wales LL46 2TP
Tel (+44)01766 780897 or call/Text to 07779579225
email email@example.com
|Site & Facilities
|About Merthyr Farm
|Around & About
|Getting to Merthyr
|Bookings & Enquiries


text:
The Central Florida Zoo
3755 NW Hwy 17-92
Sanford, FL
Here are a few extras about the The Central Florida Zoo that you may not have known about. For more information on the following topics, call the The Central Florida Zoo at 407-323-4450 or visit the Central Florida Zoo website.
Support the Zoo:
Throughout the year, the Central Florida Zoo has fundraising events. Come to the zoo for special parties and events while supporting the zoo. Love animals or have a talent for teaching? Volunteer your time at the zoo as a docent, teacher or guide. More Volunteer Opportunities and fund raising events in the Orlando area.
The Exciting Educational Curriculum is overflowing. These experiences are both engaging for students and extremely worthwhile from a teacher's perspective. A variety of programs are available, including the ability to custom-design a program tailored to your students interest of study. The Zoo also has programs available for Home Schooling.
Summer Camps:
Full and half day programs are available for children ages 6 – 12. Family programs are available for children ages 2 – 5. Become a Jr. Zoologist, research radical reptiles, study the safari – classes give children an opportunity to learn about animals and their habitats from all over the world.
Rental Facilities:
Looking for a unique setting for your next business functions? Want a one-of-a-kind wedding reception? The Central Florida Zoo has a variety of indoor and outdoor facilities for your next function. More Event Rental Venues in Orlando.
Birthday Parties:
The Central Florida Zoo offers ZOOper Birthday Party packages to help celebrate your child's big day. Party area, admission party hats and party favors, drinks, ice cream and much more are available. Bring your own cake and let the party begin!
Note: Check current pricing, small groups my benefit by just paying the zoo admission and bringing their own party pack with them. A picnic area is available outside the park where you can bring your own food and drinks. Your park receipt will allow you to re-enter the park at any time. Group admission discounts are also available.


text:
A mini Pom pom hat for your little mini! A Handmade knitted warm and cosy hat with pom pom decoration.
This cosy winter hat features a beautiful flecked design and is decorated with a large Pompom! These bobble hats are warm, and have a nice stretchy fit thanks to the ribbed edging. The hat is available for either babies or young children.
These hats are made using Sirdar Aran Wool and can be made in a range of colours, if the colour you want is not listed then please let me know.
Please note these hats are made to order and will take a week to complete. If you are ordering more than one set then it will take a little longer.
Please do check out the rest of my shop, I hope that you will like the other things I have to offer – mamaandfred.com


text:
Saturday, October 19, 2013
The Liberation from Shame
3 comments:
- Jeorge Mackay said...
To finalise, Sunday payday loans are a best suggested financial aid which shows lender's consciousness for their borrowers. Such kind of loans shows lender's positive attitude towards borrowers and their needs in every situation and know more about our services please visit us weekend payday loans no brokers.
- February 11, 2014 at 9:54 PM
- Unknown said...
Finally, 1000 pound loans over 12 months are complete in all respects. So, make the most of the opportunity which is just a click away from you.
£1000 loans over 12 months
long term cash loans no credit check
payday loans for unemployed
instant decision loans
£1000 loans over 12 months @ http://www.12monthloansdirectlenders.co.uk/loans-over-12-months.html
long term cash loans no credit check @ http://www.weekendpaydayloansonline.co.uk/long-term-cash-loans.html
payday loans for unemployed @ http://www.directlenderpaydayloansinminutes.co.uk/1-hour-loans-for-unemployed.html
instant decision loans @ http://www.12monthloansforbadcreditdirectlenders.co.uk/instant-decision-loans.html
- February 20, 2014 at 3:43 AM
- Unknown said...
To conclude, 6 month loans with bad credit are a long term funds having a repayment facility of almost half a year. Such a long term makes easy for the borrowers to repay the loan in a convenient manner.
6 month loans with bad credit
long term personal loans
long term personal loans
6 Month Loans
- February 23, 2014 at 10:00 PM


text:
Partonope of Blois
(Click to expand)
Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
MS. Eng. Poet c. 3, fol. 7r Order image
Partonope of Blois
The romance Partonope of Blois derives from a late twelfth-century French romance of love and magic, Partonopeus de Blois. In this romance, the young hero Partonopeus is transported to a strange city and becomes the lover of Melior, but is forbidden from seeing her. After he breaks the prohibition she banishes him, and he must undergo a series of improbable adventures before winning her hand and becoming the emperor of Byzantium. The fifteenth-century English adaptor was influenced in his own retelling by Chaucer's narrative style. This copy was originally written in two columns, but now only two much-damaged leaves remain.
Brydone R. W. Gale
Yes Am related to this Family through King William First in 1066ad. He rescues this family from RC.


text:
I chose a hotel further out of the centre than we normally would, The Hotel Sport, in the 12e, near the Bois de Vicennes. This allowed us a slightly upgraded room at a budget price, plus we love to stay in a more residential area.
Connie and I love that after a day of sightseeing, we can have dinner in the neighbourhood and saunter (stagger?) back to the hotel.
Today, we were hoping for a boat ride on the Seine, thinking it would be the perfect low-impact activity for jet-lagged brains, but the weather is cool and wet, so we scrapped that. Thinking we were shopping for something we need, but completely miscalculating, we ended up wandering around Le Bon Marche, Paris' oldest department store. It is elegant and understated, but still over the top.
We also wandered around Le Grand Epicerie, the store's giant food hall [Allan, if you're reading, you should remember this], and then stumbled on the same chocolate store Allan and I were wowed by last year. My mother, for whom every bite of good food is the single greatest food experience ever, was beside herself. You would think she was raised by wolves or something.
The best part of this brief outing was showing Connie how easy it is to use the Metro. I could tell she was a little apprehensive, especially when she saw how many stops away we were, and that we had to change lines. She wanted me to write down the stop name (I did not, it's useless) and she didn't understand how we could walk to the Metro without knowing exactly where we were going. (Answer: big maps in station.)
So we did it, and she loved it. The Paris Metro is fast, clean, quiet, and above all, frequent. Although changing between lines is often highly inaccessible (lots of stairs), if you can do it, you can get almost anywhere. There are also buses, which are accessible, but I don't know how much of the city they serve.
Everywhere, people have been friendly and helpful. My French sucks, but I keep trying.
Speaking of which, staff from XL Airways saw my Canadian passport and greeted me en francais. I should have just faked it.
[Please forgive French sans accent marks. I am having horrible keyboard trouble.]


text:
Promise NS4300N NAS (Update)
Looks like Promise has "fixed" the issue with Seagate 1.5TB drives in the NS4300N NAS…
They've replaced Compatibility List NS4300N_SR5_Compatibility_List_v1.0-20081031.pdf with NS4300N_SR5_Compatibility_List_v1.0-20081126.pdf on their support web site — the never revisions of the V1.0 Compatibility List omits the Seagate 1.5TB drive (interesting that they choose to call it V1.0 rather than V1.1 and remove the previous V1.0 list from their web page)… but the firmware release notes still contains the statement that they've added support for 1.5TB drives (the only 1.5TB drive I know of is the Seagate).
Promise's actions are a little suspect… maybe it's time for a trip over to Alameda's Small Claims Court… I've retained copies of both versions of the compatibility list as well as the firmware release notes.
And for the record, I have still yet to receive any update to my online support inquiry even though I've updated it a number of times with "additional" comments and information; and I've called Promise as well.
Originally posted 2008-12-04 22:13:22.


text:
The purpose of life is to be virtuous. After failing at that, the purpose of life becomes to contort your interpretation of reality until your character flaws are recontextualized as virtues.
-Conversations with Lauren
ii. black majick woman
Andrea has no inner ear. This little tidbit of information emerged as we were en route to what pathetically passes for "downtown," that being Madison, to scrounge for such exotic, nonindigenous-to-Buffalo-Creek items as novels which do not have paintings of Fabio on the cover. My immediate response to this revelationette was to dig my fingers into her faux shag cowskin seat covers (I was never sure what part was faux, the shag or the cow, but decorum forbade asking). Andrea may as well have told me that she considered the Drive on the Right Side of the Street Rule needlessly puritanical and outmoded.
Allow me a moment to share some background on Andreas ride, possibly the most heinous piece of machinery ever to roll out of Detroit and not just because it was slightly less aerodynamic than a brick. No, I call your attention to the tail fin, that bizarre automotive widget introduced in the 1948 Cadillac by semi-insane designer Harley Earl, which Detroit laughed their heads off over until the general public started buying them en masse. The tail fin craze peaked with the farcically Buck Rogers 1959 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz, which Andrea says was introduced in that halcyon period "shortly after the invention of the muscle engine, but shortly before the invention of taste." Andrea drooled and fretted over them in showrooms, but even as a spoiled rich girl was fortunately not likely to afford one in her lifetime.
She settled for a close second, a cherry red 1957 Chevy BelAir convertible with a white vinyl top. The reason fuzzy dice were invented. The beau idéal of greaserdom. Her tail fins may have merely been a B-cup, but Andrea compensated by keeping them buffed to a pornographic gloss. And lest there be any confusion as to whether or not Andreas choice of moterage intentionally flirted with the equivalent of farting in church, she had the horn rigged to play a selection of such vaaaaguely impolitic ditties as America from West Side Story, Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah from Disneys Song of the South, and Rodgers & Hammersteins I Enjoy Being a Girl.
In keeping with the spirit of schizophrenic anachronism, Andrea capped the entire affair off with a brazenly authentic raccoon tail, commissioned from a taxidermist three towns over. Meant to flutter dramatically in the wind, instead it clung to the antenna like an agoraphobic ferret. On the flimsy pretext that the muskrat-thing cemented her status as Flapper Nouveau, Andrea was prone to pepper her speech with both Jazz Baby and Gangsta slang. For me this made Andrea a shoe-in for the cover of "Garish and Unpalatable Affectations Monthly," but the boys generally considered her "one pimptastic sheba."
For reasons my generation should have no business knowing if we werent pathetic boomer shadows, we called Andrea's wayback machine The Red Zeppelin. Or sometimes the Red Zep, or particularly when blunted the Zep.
"Geeze Louise, will you chill out?" Andrea was easily panicked by the panic of others. "Its no big deal, okay? I just have no innate sense of up or down. Very little of which is required for driving."
I nodded vaguely, but the frontal lobes were too busy number-crunching to mount a really credible reply. Andreas admission regarding her sense of balance (or lack thereof) collapsed so much of her mystery; for me it was the dénouement of our relationship, the one point through which all threads of information and intimation passed. I correctly sussed that it would be impolitic to mention this, however, and chose instead to focus on the purely mechanical ramifications:
"How do you walk around without falling over?"
Andrea frowned, suggesting that I was being trés gauche in trying to spin this little physical defect into a full-blown anecdote, a la the mountain and the molehill. [exquisitely-pitched sigh] "Its not like Im blind, Dina." I chose to interpret Andreas undue emphasis on the word blind as evidence of an especially toothy and savage defense mechanism, seeing as I wear Coke-bottle cheaters and have for so long that for generations my descendants will be born with little eyeglass-supporting bridges built into their noses.
"So you decide the direction of up by visual clues? What is it you tend to look at, exactly? Buildings? Trees?"
The Zep had reached dangerous and illegal speeds, Andreas knuckles ominously white on the steering wheel. We were cruising up route 51 like her inexhaustible and voracious pathologies made physical. Tiny children riding in the car ahead of us stopped arguing about who was entitled to which portion of the back seat to devote their full energies to staring at the Zeppelin in perhaps the first real moment of abject terror of their young lives. I experienced momentary flashes of these children in twenty years, sprawled on those wonderful leather fainting-couches favored by psychiatrists overly entranced by period films of old Vienna, repeating again and again the litany of the demon-faced high school student and her Hell-born Chariot of Death.
Some intuition told me it might be wisest to back down vis-à-vis the inner ear discussion.
"So, anyway, which bookstores do you want to hit first?" I asked with badly-faked nonchalance.
Andrea immediately saw her opening, dove for it. "Third Eye?" Despite a professed disbelief in conversational undercurrents, Andrea has always seemed especially deft at taking advantage of them.
I managed to pitch my sigh just slightly below the dull roar of the Zep. I dont need a third eye, I thought ruefully. I have a goddamn inner ear.
"An autographed book," Andrea said, handing me the item in question. "Is there anything more wonderful in life?"
An autographed book which doesnt bear a photograph of the author on the cover, I thought to myself, but aloud only "hmmmed." The object of Andreas affection was Wealth Without Risk, ostensible nonfiction by Charles Givens. The author had pulled the amazing scam of having been written up in Investment magazine as a charlatan (the autobiographical information in his books is mostly wishful thinking, hes regularly criminally convicted, his "risk free" tax advice landed several people in jail), and then including on future printings the blurb "As featured in Investment magazine!!" a trick so unbelievably slimy I was grudgingly impressed.
Andrea was working her way towards a coagulant of diatribes arguably written by Anthony Robbins, a seven-foot-tall financial Sun Yung Moon whom I find terrifying, if for no other reason than that he was born to play Lurch from the Addams Family. He has amassed a fortune by telling people such brain-splunchingly insightful truths as "Believe in yourself," for which people pay him vast sums of money. He even publishes a newsletter, called The Robbins Report , which is a bad pun on The Robb Report, a haute monde snob magazine. Unfortunately the readership of The Robbins Report is an excellent representation of the sort of people on whom puns are wasted.
As we strolled through the financial planning for people with no grip on reality section, I found myself leaning about 4° to the left by way of experimentation. Andrea would match my angle to the floor for a few moments, but then shed look at a bookshelf or group of people and right herself again. She seemed to be adjusting unconsciously.
"Explain to me again what so many Get Rich Quick books are doing in a New Age bookstore," I suggested in my friendliest, this-is-not-a-trap voice. Fortunately, Andrea is so pleased with opportunities to talk about herself that shell stroll blithely into the most poorly camouflaged verbal ambush.
"These arent Get Rich Quick books, for your information. Theyre handbooks to personal growth and power."
"One result of which is that reading them will make you rich."
"Thats a common by-product of actualizing yourself fully, yes." Andreas protective layer of bullshit was thin, but it instantly healed over with fresh rationalizations like some zombie in a bad sci-fi movie.
I redoubled my efforts. "Implying that at least some of the people shopping here have a vision of personal growth which doesnt include getting rich quick?" I didnt even get into Andreas use of actualize as a verb. She might defend it by pointing out how impactful it was, and Ive been down that road too many times.
"Geeze Louise, Dina, why do you always have to be so cynical?" Andrea had attained her tease-me-one-iota-more-and-Ill-flip voice, to which my response was making a big deal of glancing at the books in the arms of those around us, the titles of which without exception contained the words Get, Rich, or Quick (I had gathered this evidence before launching into my point, a trick Id picked up from Lauren). My brilliant machinations were lost on Andrea, however, who was already wandering off into the speculative fiction section.
While some would define "speculative fiction" as the result of having asked the question, "How will technology effect the future of mankind?" I harbor suspicions that the motivational question behind this particular selection of books was more along the lines of, "Exactly how much cash can we milk from the idiots willing to read apparently endless further exploits of dot dot dot insert your favorite science fiction character here?"
Andreas three favorite books are Elric of Melniboné, Xenocide, and The Bridges of Madison County. They seem a disparate bunch, I know, but they all share two important characteristics: (a) They were all written in just under two weeks, and (b) Each of them give me intestinal cramps.
My theory is theres a strong relationship between A and B, especially since (as Americas great undiscovered writer) Ive discovered that one doesnt really begin inching away from the "utter crap" phase until circa ARN-5 (Agonizing Rewrite Numero Five). I believe Andreas favorite writers chose instead to let fly with their first drafts, in effect passing that agony on to the reader. She and I have nearly come to fisticuffs on this point, her position being that belaboring something steals the magic from it, and all good art is spontaneous, and et cetera, while my counter-position tends to be along the lines that it must be very comforting to have such a glib facility to reason hard work away as irrelevant, especially when youre as famously lazy as Andrea "Ill do my book report Sunday night" Moffet.
Gracie once attempted to assuage some childhood slight with the ludicrous claim that schoolmates who argued with my every position were demonstrating concern for my ideas, and by extension for me. If true, one may draw the inference that Andrea and I share a sprawling, epic affection, in glorious Technicolor with a cast of thousands
Not so.
Andrea was always particularly entranced by volumes in a chronology, the longer the better. I attribute this to a childhood confusion as to the relative merits of quantity as contrasted with quality. She can tell you the most obscure details about the imaginary worlds shes developed a fondness for: Does Stormbringer ever mistakenly conjure a mere worrisome cloud? How do the Chronicles of Narnia compare to other religious propaganda targeted at minors? Conversely, shed be hard pressed to cough up any specifics regarding the president of the United States, other than that he proved to be a crack shot against the aliens.
I guess its hard for reality to compete with, say, Star Trek. In real life you cant tell whether someone is sneaky and underhanded or not just by whether he has pointy teeth and a skin condition.
"Not to overhammer a decidedly uninteresting point," I began, reflecting briefly that I might be as lacking in the diplomacy department as certain of my friends have suggested, "but isnt this a mismatched collection of books? Science fiction, elf and dragon flotsam, homeopathic medicine, get rich quick, and pop psychology self-help books? Please tell me theres a common thread more reassuring than the obvious: absolute detachment from reality."
Andrea tore herself away from L. Ron Hubbards Mission Earth, the only series to my knowledge in which new volumes appear on a regular basis despite the authors death. Andreas face revealed her low opinion of those who interrupt the absorption of such hallowed and sublime literature.
"Ish kabibble, Dina."
"Which in modern parlance means...?"
"Blow me."
She burst into equine laughter, totally undermining my attempt to piss her off. I hate when Andrea answers cruelty with good spirits, sometimes brightening a full-on bad mood Ive been nursing all morning. On a handful of particularly despicable instances shes gotten me to giggle.
"You could always make me laugh, Puppy," Andrea said with genuine compassion. Sudden flashback to our depress-a-thon the previous summer, when she first lent me the canine sobriquet. Andrea had phoned out of the blue and invited me over for a week-long slumber party, the occasion being her father and his boyfriend were in Europe sans children, and her younger sister Caldera was staying with neighbors. Andrea was very particular in outlining the rules: I was allowed to wear only pajamas, preferably dorky flannels. I could bring food provided it was fattening, music provided it was depressing, and rented videos provided they were directed by bleakly unimaginative self-styled geniuses (fortunately, the 90s have provided this particular resource in great abundance). "Im gorgeously depressed, Puppy. Sumptuously depressed. In fact, Ive just spent the last three days convincing the book club to overnight me a copy of Final Exit, then when it finally arrived I decided that it was too upbeat to take seriously."
Andrea answered the door in a pair of novelty bear-costume pajamas with little ears on the hood. She carried a gray, shredded rag at all times, which I was given to understand was the remains of her childhood teddybear, Mr. Fluffy.
Ive always been a sucker for the extremes of human behavior. We spent a full week in bed, seldom rising before noon and passing most evenings blunted and ice-creamed to the gills. Occasionally Andrea would jury-rig little ersatz voodoo dolls of whichever boy had provided her with the excuse to wallow in her own emotional detritus, finding innumerable ways to mutilate it beyond recognition before tossing it finally on the fire we kept burning for one solid week in her otherwise empty kidney-shaped pool. To this day I can recall what most household appliances smell like oxidized.
At first our little visit was merely depressing in the pedestrian sense, but after a while we got a good rhythm going, becoming so depressed it was a novelty, and thus in its own way entertaining. Andrea began stringing together portmanteau words á la Lewis Carol to describe our Earth-shaking state of gloom: Our depressence. Our darklination. Our kvetch-in. We were proud forager-explorers of the frontiers of melancholy, heroically sacrificing ourselves to bring back some hidden and mystical knowledge that would benefit all of mankind. The Lewis and Clark of dourness.
Things might have gone on like this indefinitely, had Lauren not appeared one morning to break the spell. She was wearing one of her outfits that lets you know not only that she is jogging, but to what benefit. She pushed her way past us into the kitchen, where her unerring rich-girl radar drew her instantly to the empty fast-food containers and ashtrays overflowing with marijuana remnants. She inspected the conflagration in the pool, the books littering every floor. Andrea and I had acted out the best bits from Kafka, Nietzsche, Philip K. Dick, expertly embodying Joseph K., Zarathustra and Deckard with sock puppets. Somehow the last straw was our lovingly-crafted Gregor Samsa, a repurposed gray wool number we had appropriated from Calderas unmentionables drawer, little cockroach-legs glued down each side. Lauren picked this up between her thumb and forefinger briefly before dropping it back on the coffee table as if it were crawling with maggots. Throughout this surprise inspection she remained expressionless, declining to grace us even with eye contact. Finally she looked up, met my eyes with an intensity that cut through a week of fog and raked me with the sharp nails of sobriety.
Like Sleeping Beauty after the kiss (only with less Beauty and more Sleeping), I snapped awake. I was already packing as Lauren disappeared through the front door, back on the road that led to happy, well-scrubbed people who were always smiling (without wrinkling at the eyes) and never, never referred to their depressions as "gorgeous."
Andrea and I left "Elfthorne," the uncannily bovine cashier/proprietor of Third Eye, a good deal richer. Andreas backseat was littered with books which explained how to overcome greed for material wealth while coincidentally becoming rich. I made some peremptory remarks to the effect that Elfthorne had become grossly overweight on health food, sensing the hilarious possibilities of this supposed irony if only mined correctly, but Andrea wasnt hearing it. She had recovered from her amusement over my previous clever remarks, and was nursing a full-on melancholy.
Andrea drives like someone who possesses the will to die, but lacks the nerve. This leads to fantastic speeds and only the most cavalier relationship with such concepts as Avoiding Oncoming Cars. The brisk June air made her talkatively dour (while taciturnly dour would have at least given me the opportunity to read), which I point to as contributing some impetus to my lack of enthusiasm for Andreas favorite topic:
"Andrea, listen the reason Star Trek is a fantasy isnt because it has spaceships and lasers and like that. Its because no one is playing politics; the problems are all external. Thats why Trek is so popular with social misfits because they all fantasize about a world where their lack of social deftness is irrelevant, seeing as people get along by magic. Lets face it, there are only two ways to get anyone to do anything payment or slavery. The future of Star Trek has no money, but somehow the toilets are kept clean. You do the math."
"This goes way beyond cultural criticism with you, Dina. Im hearing a personal vendetta here."
I held my silence for a moment, knowing curiosity would force Andrea to shift her attack from rhetorical to literal, and thereby in effect agree that she was yielding the floor.
"What do you have against Star Trek, anyway?"
"Andrea..." I began with the unmistakable air of someone preparing to launch into an emotional, premeditated and lengthy tirade. "Im glad you asked that question.
"One, despite the professed lack of gravity in space, the starships always seem to have arbitrarily chosen the same direction as up.
"Two, on a short jaunt from, say, Earth to Pluto, one can look out the window and see stars whizzing by.
"Three, whenever anyone on the program shoots a laser beam, we can actually see the laser beam leave the gun and travel to its intended target. The brilliant physicists behind the show seem foggy on the concept that lasers, being a form of light, travel at the speed of light.
"Four, when the camera is focused on the exterior of a starship, we can hear the muffled roar of the engine. Theres no air in space. Ergo, no sound.
"And five..." (I took a deep breath at this point, allegedly due to having exceeded the capacity of my lungs but in fact slavishly imitating a technique of Laurens she calls "gathering silence") "...Kirk kisses green women. He kisses robot women. He kisses blobs of Jell-o disguised as women. But he kisses an African-American woman once, and they pull the show!!"
Andrea was too stunned, almost, to steer. For a terrible minute I thought I had gone too far with the "gathering silence" trick, but then she stirred and spoke:
"The engine roar is just for effect."
There are women of my acquaintance who are hurt not only by criticism of them, but by criticism of anything even vaguely related to them. Women for whom every conversation is a potential opportunity to have hurt feelings, easily converted into Martyr Points which may be spent like currency on conciliatory favors, chocolates, what-have-you.
These women are amateurs.
Andreas lower lip started trembling as she dug a fresh pack of clove cigarettes from her teddybear purse. "..really good show...," she murmured vaguely. I felt a chill run down my spine as I realized the storm was about to break.
We were over an hour from Buffalo Creek, with an itinerary still bloated with errands, and I had just insulted Andreas absolute favorite television program in the history of the world. I was in for 4+ hours of full-on, Olympic-level martyrdom. There was only one possible escape, only one thing which could distract Andrea from embracing an opportunity to play the victim, and the antidote was almost as terrible as the affliction:
"But enough about my opinions," I said, suppressing a shudder. "Lets talk about you."
Andrea has the amazing ability to squeeze five minutes worth of information into a four-hour monologue. I spent the remainder of the morning hearing four facts about Corey, stretched out and re-stated and shoe-horned into whatever topic I heroically attempted to salvage the conversation with: (a) Corey was a dreamboat, (b) Corey had a Volkswagen Beetle, (c) Andrea liked Beetles, and (d) Andrea liked Corey.
Andrea ends most of her sentences with an "uh..." noise, thus indicating that although she has no idea what shes going to say next, shes not yet willing to yield the floor. At one point I brought up Chaucer, to which Andrea responded, "Speaking of Chaucer, Corey has a Beetle." Any pretense of continuity was gone: I was trapped in my own very personal Hell.
"Have you ever read Sartres No Exit?" I asked, by way of amusing myself, and with no hope that Andrea would have the faintest clue what I was alluding to. "Oh, yeah, I saw that!!" Andrea said with genuine enthusiasm, granting me the barest glimmer of hope. "That reminds me did I mention what a dreamboat Corey is?"
"Will you shut up about Corey!?! I dont goddamn care about Corey goddamn Bancroft, and if you dont shut up Im going to ram the steering column down your windpipe and kill us both!!"
This was new. Andrea stopped chattering mid-sentence, stared ahead at the road.
After a few minutes of silence, a small noise crept out of her. I could barely discern the words. "That was mean."
A sudden intuition told me I had been granted a window of opportunity if I said something in the nihilistic, pretentious vein of Corey without directly alluding to him, and if my tone was conciliatory enough and absolutely dripping with camaraderie, I might escape a lot of weight for one sentence to support, especially one sentence conceived in the spur of the moment. But after all, I was Laurens best friend:
"I made up a really great T.S. Eliot joke."
"Really." Andrea was reluctant to pursue a non-Corey/non-martyr train of thought, but also subtly intrigued. "I dont know that Ive ever really associated T.S. Eliot with a great deal of mirth."
"I know, thats why it works. Just listen: T.S. Eliot and Bertrand Russell are in a bar, right? The conversation is a bit scarce. Once in a great while one of them will make a low murmuring noise that the waitress is able to parse as a drink order. But otherwise they smoke and drink in silence, staring out at a gray sky and generally brooding. And then..." I was struggling with limited success to suppress a giggle, "...and then out of the blue, Eliot says you know, I had a feeling once. And Russell says Really? What was it? To which Eliot replies Ennui."
Andrea smiled and looked at me with genuine affection. "Thats a really good joke, Dina. I mean it."
"Aw, shucks."
"No, really. I wish I could think of one other person in Buffalo Creek other than Lauren who would get it, because Id tell it to them."
For some reason, this depressed me. I became sullen for the rest of the car trip, which, owing to the truism that Misery loves company, cheered Andrea up considerably.
By the time we got to Loquacious Porridge, she was belting out show tunes.
It wasnt until we stopped for lunch at one of those faceless, perpetually half-full fast-food places that Andrea pulled on her beloved and awful "trapped in the 80s" denim jacket, which was lent a certain barnacles-on-the-underside-of-a-ship quality by a peppering of buttons bearing allegedly clever slogans. One particularly prominent maxim was "Fuck the Real World, Im an Artist," which gives you some idea of the level of literary quality Andrea looked for when selecting these little gems. Im afraid my eyes went a little wider than is generally recommended as I noticed a new and unfamiliar button on the lapel, which had been worked into the button-montage with an instinct for color and design that presaged Andreas future assistant editorship for an ostensible womens magazine in fact targeted at twelve-year-olds. I knew at once that it was not of Andreas personal selection, as it didnt contain any of the shock-value terms "fuck," "shit," or "blow job." Also, it was in Hiragana, and Andreas fascination with all things Eastern had blown over fairly quickly once she realized that Eastern philosophies, as a rule, frown on excess.
Andrea noticed my amazement, glanced at the pin and back to me. "Its Japanese," she said conspiratorially. "Isnt it great?"
I narrowed my eyes, tried to speak evenly. "Where did it come from?"
Andrea looked more smug than anyone Im preparing to intellectually destroy has any reasonable right to look. "Lets just say it was a gift from Corey."
I could feel my lip curling up into my trademark sneer. I realize that it sounds as if Im romanticizing this to some degree, á la Elvis or at least Billy Idol. But believe me, Id be much happier and better off if were I able to hide my contempt for the average person as well as Lauren. "Good breeding," she would quote Mark Twain, "Consists of concealing how highly you think of yourself and how little you think of others."
"From Corey?" I asked Andrea with perhaps a slightly less sympathetic cadence than intended. "Did he actually give it to you personally?"
Andrea shifted her weight from buttock A to buttock B, which if one accords Laurens infallible theory any merit was tantamount to admitting that I was onto something. "What do you mean?" she asked in her best innocent bunny voice.
Its funny how some people think theyre insulated from revealing anything important if they answer questions only with other questions. I was reminded of a joke: "Q. Why dont you ever give me a straight answer? A. Why do you ask?"
"I mean did you actually see this leave Coreys fingers? Personally?"
"Lets just say someone in the Bancroft household gave it to me."
"In other words, Lauren," I mused aloud, not really expecting any useful feedback from Andrea. Andrea was kind enough to blush, however, which indicated a correct guess on my part. "Lauren gave it to you, but said something which implied that the pin originated from Corey. Isnt that right?"
Andrea stared mutely into space in what I imagine she thinks is an unassailable poker face but which in fact means, "Shit!! The jig is up!!"
"But how exactly did she imply it...?" I tapped my chin with a pencil, stared up at the ceiling as if Laurens words might be written up there. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Andrea had broken into a cold sweat.
"Obviously Coreys name had to have been invoked, so Ill bet she was talking about him with an air of grudging admiration. The only vaguely interesting thing Corey has ever done is spend a semester in Europe, so its a good bet that Lauren said something complimentary to the effect that Corey has cosmopolitan tastes. Also, that would merit a segue to the pin under the tenuous umbrella of internationality. How am I doing so far?"
Andrea glared at me like a pit bull, inspiring a fresh clutch of mixed emotions on my part. Because while it is no picnic getting the pit bull stare, Andrea would have gloatingly corrected me if I wasnt shooting with 100% accuracy.
"So a sudden change of gears from the Corey topic to the mysterious gift (a pin written in a foreign language) and some vague allusion to a secret admirer. Oh, and I happen to know that Corey was conveniently away at a sci-fi convention this morning. Ill bet the hypothetical conversation took place at Casa de Bancroft, and Lauren refused to divulge the identity of the secret admirer, but did manage a glance at Coreys room. Were there any details I left out?
I waved my hand over Andreas blank stare. "Sweetheart? Is there anything I...?"
"How do you know all that!?!?!" Suddenly the air was full of sandwich, and Andrea was screaming louder than Id ever heard her (which is saying something). She swept the remainder of our lunch off the table with one arm, sending it careening through the air like a flock of pigeons after you tear through them with your bicycle, to fall miraculously on almost everyone present. She then quickly degenerated into incoherence, a long string of mish-mash which contained expressions like "know-it-all, smartass bitch," "think youre better than everyone else," and "how dare you play god," each of which she punctuated by bringing her fist down on the table like a judges gavel. Just when I thought she was quieting down, Andrea instead escalated, jumping to her feet and flipping the table over (she must have been an absolutely world-class tantrum-thrower as a child). It was really quite spectacular. The other patrons started filing out in a manner reminiscent of high school fire drills, making me wistfully curse forgetting the camera. Andrea took advantage of the sudden vacancy by overturning the other tables as well, apparently with an eye to dispersing the fast food theron as widely and messily as possible.
Finally, the maelstrom wore itself down to a squall, and Andrea slumped back into her chair. She and I were the only two things left upright in the entire cafeteria.
There was a moment of silence. When I say "silence" I mean the rare and wonderful variety that follows some cataclysmic natural disaster, such as an earthquake, which is so deep and profound it makes you question your previous use of the word.
A few heartbeats passed before I reached out tentatively, took her hand in mine.
"Andrea, honey, do you know what the pin says? In English?"
Andrea stared straight ahead. She declined to answer. But she didnt push my hand away, either.
"No, of course not. Lauren didnt tell you, did she? She implied that she didnt know."
More blank staring. Impossible at his point to know if this meant I was right or if she was too far gone to answer.
"The pin means Im an idiot," I said as gently as possible. "Lauren had them made up for a bet."
"Shes the secret admirer."
Andreas nostrils flared twice. After perhaps a minute she spoke: "I dont know why you dont want us to be happy, Dina. I love Corey, and were going to be together, and were going to be happy. Why cant you just accept that?"
"But Lauren"
"Lauren is helping us. Which is more than youve ever done." Andrea dropped the Saturday Matinee Monster Movie Vacant Stare for a moment to look properly accusatory, meeting my eyes and frowning angrily. "Youve never cared about anyone but yourself!!"
I took the lapel of Andreas jacket in my hand, not roughly, and held it up to her eyes. "But Andrea... the pin says Im an idiot. Youre wearing a pin that says Im an idiot, and Lauren gave it to you. Doesnt that bother you just a little bit?"
"You think youre so goddamn smart, dont you, Dina?"
Pride has always been my downfall. I dont think Im overdramatizing in tracing the advent of our months-long war of attrition to my next comment, which in hindsight may have been less than clever on my part.
"I am so goddamn smart."
A film slid over Andreas eyes, like the milky inner eyelid of a cat. Or perhaps I imagined that part. Anyway, I remember her voice as being the low, husky growl endeavored by 40s film stars as she said, "Fuck you, Dina Gallagher," enunciating every syllable slowly and distinctly.
I had the sensation of the synapses between my neurons bursting into flame, like 10-ohm resistors looking down a 500-amp barrel. The next few seconds were in bionic, Steve Austin slow-motion. Mechanically I stood up, kicking the chair back and over. chi chi chi chi. As I rose, I leaned a full 30° to the left. chi chi chi chi chi.
Some dark, long-forgotten but ultimately dominant part of my brain had noted that Andreas tantrum had left not a shred of furniture upright, and the walls were a vertiginous white.
Andrea glared up at me venomously for a minute before she stood up as well. More bionics. She came up at exactly a 30° angle to the ground, tottered for a moment, and then fell over completely.
It was four hours waiting in the Madison bus station, and another hour home. But at least I won the goddamn smart contest.
b*girls home | jitterbug fantasia home
After Kelly ©1995 by Kristen Brennan