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Broader Impacts
Integrating research and education is an important aspect of NSF's Broader Impacts review criterion. Research projects that have successfully demonstrated broader impacts have commonly developed strong collaborations and partnerships among researchers, educators and students; have proactively engaged target audiences; and have demonstrated impacts on these audiences. The list below provides examples of successful partnerships, as well as tips on assessment and dissemination.
- Advice from NSF about Broader Impacts review criteria
- Merit Review Broader Impacts Criterion: July 2007, Representative Activities (pdf file)
- Merit Review Broader Impacts Criterion--a slightly expanded version.
- Broader Impacts Showcase--American Chemical Society, Fall 2005
- Posters from the ACS Broader Impacts Showcase
- Office of Polar Programs (OPP) Advisory Committee - Working Group on Implementation of Review - Criterion 2
- Center for the Study of Interdisciplinarity at the University of North Texas, maintained by Bob Frodeman; numerous links to articles, policy statements, and examples.
- AGU session addressing NSF review criteria for broader impacts of research projects:
The session "Much Ado About Criterion Two" convened by Susan Avery (University of Colorado) at the 2002 Spring meeting of the American Geophysical Union featured a panel discussion with Joe Bordogna, Jarvis Moyers, and Mike Mayhew from NSF. The speakers focused on NSF's role as an agency that integrates research and education, its goals in revising the proposal review criteria, and a discussion of how the community is responding. - NRC workshop supports development of education activities in Biocomplexity:
A workshop "Integrating Education in Biocomplexity Research" held in April , 2002 sought to assist PIs in the NSF Biocomplexity program in integrating education and research and in communicating more effectively with the public about the nature and significance of research in this area. This site contains Tips on Partnering and Tips on Assessment and Dissemination to assist research projects in achieving their Broader Impacts goals. - Partnerships in Paleontology: Involving Students and the Public in Collaborative Research.
Symposium sponsored by the Paleontological Society, GSA 2001 Annual Meeting. Speakers covered topics such as student-scientist partnerships, resource management, and community involvement. Abstracts and some presentations are available for download. - AGU session on roles and partnerships in support of K-14 education:
The session "AGU Scientists' Roles and Partnerships in Support of K-14 Education and Public Outreach" convened by Roberta Johnson (UCAR) and Cherrie Morrow (Space Science Institute) at the 2001 Fall Meeting of the American Geophysical Union featured examples of the roles that AGU members and their institutions are playing in projects ranging from the development of multimedia education products to working directly with students on research. - Earth System Education Partnerships with Research Institutions (http://www.usra.edu/esse/ncar/ - this link may not work, it is for archival purposes):
This workshop held at NCAR in January 2001, brought together leaders in Earth system education with NCAR researchers to define the needs of and create the foundation for an Earth system education collaborative of educators and scientists that works with research institutions on a long term basis to leverage institutional capabilities for the benefit of SMET education and science literacy broadly defined. - [link http://www.cosee.net/ 'COSEE Report: Ocean Sciences plan for centers of oceanographic education: ']
Leaders in oceanography research and education met in May, 2000 and detailed their recommendations for a nationally coordinated effort to promote Ocean Sciences education for the benefit of society. - Making a Broader Impact: Geoscience Education, Public Outreach, and Criterion 2
Report of the 2005 workshop that brought together experts in education and public outreach to discuss how to best support the science research community. - The Broader Impacts Toolbox Workshop: Helping Researchers Effectively Meet the National Science Foundation's Broader Impacts Criterion
- Broader Impacts: What Every Busy Scientists Needs to Know about the Fall 2004 AGU Meeting
Check out:- Session OS 21D
- Session OS 22A
- Session OS 23A
- The Oceanography Society - Education and Public Outreach: A Guide for Scientists
- Grant-related Broader Impact Opportunities for Involvement in Practicing Teacher Professional Development -- Created by Jennifer L. B. Anderson, Ph.D., SERC, Carleton College


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August 15, 2012
A 'game-changer': By studying animal health, researchers find improved ways for developing, testing cancer therapies
Submitted by Communications and Marketing
A group of Kansas State University researchers has made valuable findings in the search for cancer's cure.
While researching ways to improve animal health, the scientists -- Raymond "Bob" Rowland, a virologist and professor of diagnostic medicine and pathobiology, and Deryl Troyer, professor of anatomy and physiology --have made two important discoveries that can also improve human health. Not only have they found pigs with severe combined immunodeficiency, or SCID, but they are also the first to discover the connection with human cancer, particularly melanomas and pancreatic cancers.
The researchers call it a scientific achievement with huge potential to improve surgeries and drug development involved with cancer.
"This could be a game-changer," Troyer said.
It began with Rowland's research with controlling and eliminating porcine reproductive and respiratory syndrome, or PRRS. The work led to a fortuitous discovery: a naturally occurring line of immunodeficient pigs.
"Pigs are closely related to humans anatomically and physiologically," Rowland said. "This can have huge potential for human cancer research."
After the discovery of SCID pigs, Rowland turned to Troyer, who performs cancer research. Their collaborative work not only enables researchers to better study SCID pigs, but they can also apply their research to the study of human cancer and anti-cancer drugs.
"This is a great example of collaborative and interdisciplinary research," Troyer said. "With two perspectives, there is often a synergy that evolves because of different ways of thinking."
The researchers have already studied human melanomas and human pancreatic cancers, which are devastating types of cancer and a big target in cancer research, Troyer said. They want to apply the same methods to other types of solid cancers and blood neoplasms like leukemia.
While similar research has been performed with SCID mice, it has not adapted well to human cancer research. Rowland said there is about a 90 percent failure rate in translation of results from mice to humans. Research involving SCID pigs may be more beneficial to human cancer research because pigs are closer anatomically to humans.
The research opens a variety of doors for both animal and human health research. It may now be easier for scientists to improve strategies for bone marrow transplants. They also have a better way to detect cancer drug side effects and test surgical interventions, Troyer said.
"The potential is a little daunting because it is as if there is no horizon limiting possible ways to utilize this model, " Troyer said. "It is an opportunity for Kansas State University to be a leader in the field and to become a center for large animal biomedical research."
For Rowland, the discovery also opens new doors for infectious disease research.
"There are a lot of pig diseases for which we still don't know how they function and how they cause disease," Rowland said. "Now we are able to ask the question, 'What role does the immune system play in clearing the virus or in causing disease?'"
The research also improves the study of zoonotic diseases, which are diseases -- like swine influenza -- that can be transmitted between animals and humans. By developing vaccines for diseases in SCID pigs, scientists can gain insight into human vaccine development. The university's Biosecurity Research Institute provides the ideal location for developing these vaccines, Rowland said.
The scientists have performed research on a small scale and now want to build it up to a larger scale. They see possibilities for new research with the Kansas State University Johnson Cancer Research Center as well as cancer research partnerships and collaborations with the University of Kansas Cancer Center, especially with its recent National Cancer Institute designation.
"Agriculture benefits the people of the state in so many ways," Rowland said. "While it includes jobs and exports, there is a human element that we sometimes forget. This is a good example of how we can take animal health research and all of a sudden it has the potential to help cure human cancer."
The research recently appeared in the journal BioResearch Open Access. Rowland and Troyer have another upcoming publication in the Journal of Veterinary Pathology.
The College of Veterinary Medicine has provided financial support for the research. Other university collaborators include the Comparative Medicine Group, Stefan Bossmann, professor of chemistry, and Duane Davis, professor of animal sciences and industry. Researchers at Iowa State University were also involved.

subset: commoncrawl


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Site Credits
Published on behalf of the Rector of RWTH Aachen University.
RWTH Aachen University
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RWTH Aachen University is a public institution represented by the Rector, Univ.-Prof. Dr. rer. nat. Dr. h.c. mult. Ulrich Rüdiger.
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So I've been on the receiving end of a couple of unsolicited emails regarding open positions in a couple of companies. And it is odd to get these kinds of emails, especially when they aren't from recruiters, but from the hiring manager themselves. It is a little flattering, to say the least.
That said, the one thing these emails/companies/etc have in common is that the culture that makes me the most productive just isn't there, mentioned, or encouraged. Now, one could say my workplace is a little unorthodox since we are all virtual, but in the grand scheme of things, it isn't the virtual part that matters the most. What matters the most is that our company isn't isolated from the community.
We actively participate on CPAN, IRC, message boards, and most of the major modern Perl projects mailing lists. In our day to day, our communications circle encompasses the community. We contribute to important projects. We release generic solutions to problems we've solved in the course of our business. And we make use of others' solutions as they have released them. Frankly, I don't see how we could get much done if we /didn't/ invest as heavily in the community as we do.
So when I get emails or see job postings from companies that fail to mention any level of community participation, they are placed into the round file holder. And I am not alone in this. The people that I would consider my peers, other community members, the "rockstars" for which these job postings are seeking, aren't about to jump ship from a culture of shared commons and productivity to one of isolation and take-but-not-give-back.
So in the future, if you recruiters or hiring managers wish to cater to truly senior level Perl developers, Perl developers working with the state-of-the-art, please take the time to understand that there are deeper motivations than merely salary, location, or even the business domain.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
2 comments:
- AnonymousJune 17, 2010 at 4:02 AM
Here are the results of the related poll I ran a month ago:
What are the most important features of an employer or a job opportunity for you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)


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2010 has been an absolutely marvelous year for us here at Seattle Bon Vivant. And yes, I plan to sit down and properly write about some of my personal highlights of 2010 before the new year arrives.
But, for now, I wanted to share a few favorites from this year: cookbooks I've been reading and using, kitchen tools that have made my everyday baking, preserving and cooking more enjoyable and travel essentials that I can't see myself being without.
I've even included a recommendation for the one film that I find epitomizes the year in cinema for me. I hope you can find some new read or favorite thing for you to try in this collection.
Since some of these recommendations have been shared with me by good friends (ciao Marta!) and while I have your attention, please share your own favorite reads, kitchen and travel essentials of the year in the comment section. On December 31st, I'll use random.org to select a comment and will *mail you a copy of Salted by Mark Bitterman. So, do tell!
*USA addresses only, please. Thank you.
Updated January 5th, 2011: Using random.org we got the #1, so the first person who left a comment won the copy of Salted. Congratulations Shirley! You got the book yesterday. Hope you enjoy it as much as I have. xo


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It's not every day that union bosses sound like policy experts at The Heritage Foundation.
But the beginning of the Obamacare letter from the heads of three major unions—the Teamsters, the United Food and Commercial Workers, and UNITE-HERE—to Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is eerily similar to our experts' writings.
The unions, of course, were heavy supporters of Obamacare, but even they can't deny its effects now.
"When you and the President sought our support for the Affordable Care Act, you pledged that if we liked the health plans we have now, we could keep them," they wrote. "Sadly, that promise is under threat."
It gets worse:
The unintended consequences of the ACA are severe. Perverse incentives are already creating nightmare scenarios: First, the law creates an incentive for employers to keep employees' work hours below 30 hours a week. Numerous employers have begun to cut workers' hours to avoid this obligation, and many of them are doing so openly. The impact is two-fold: fewer hours means less pay while also losing our current health benefits.
We couldn't agree more. In fact, not only did Heritage experts predict these outcomes, but the non-partisan Medicare actuary also concluded the law would raise health costs by hundreds of billions of dollars. The Congressional Budget Office noted that Obamacare's employer mandate "will probably cause some employers to respond by hiring fewer low-wage workers."
Naturally, it's on the question of solutions that we diverge from the unions.
The union leaders' "solution" to these problems involves yet more government spending. They want to make union-run health plans eligible for Obamacare's subsidies—subsidies that were supposed to go to people with no health coverage. In other words, increase taxpayer spending even more because of the consequences of bigger government.
If ever there were an argument to defund Obamacare in its entirety—to do away with both the spending and the costly regulations—it's this one. The union letter accuses Obamacare of "shattering" hard-earned benefits and destroying the foundation of the middle class. In short, "We have a problem."
The many ways liberal leaders keep marching forward, insisting nothing's wrong, are becoming laughable. Appearing on "Meet the Press" Sunday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said that "Obamacare has been wonderful for America." And despite the Obama Administration's multiple implementation failures, the Health and Human Services Department just released a video yesterday proclaiming that Obamacare is "on schedule."
Even the law's strongest supporters aren't buying it any more.
Read the Morning Bell and more en español every day at Heritage Libertad.
Quick Hits:
- Harry Reid is putting Obama nominees up for a vote in the Senate today—and if they don't pass, he will pursue changing the Senate rules.
- After living in communist Cuba, a family waited 10 years to become legal American citizens. A story of a woman's love for America and her disappointment with the amnesty bill.
- Will "North Colorado" be the 51st state?
- Wine bar. Hair salon. 130 feet below ground. Maybe you can live in this post-apocalyptic "four star" timeshare.
- Will Americans starve if food stamps aren't delivered via the farm bill?


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AIM Mission Overview
Do you know what the highest clouds in the atmosphere are called? Polar Mesospheric Clouds (PMCs), or noctilucent clouds (NLCs)! The Aeronomy of Ice in the Mesosphere (AIM) mission will be launched in 2006 and will study these clouds in detail for over two years.The mission will look at these clouds that form about 50 miles above the Earths surface. You see, noctilucent clouds are very special clouds. They are only seen high in the sky just after the Sun dips below the horizon. In the past, they were mainly seen in the summer months, near the poles of the Earth. They sometimes glow an electric, blue-white color which make them seem very mysterious. These beautiful clouds that hover at the very edge of space seem to be getting brighter and closer to the equator in recent years. PMCs are definitely connected to the meteorology of the mesosphere. What the AIM mission will help scientists determine is why the formation of PMCs is changing and if PMC's are connected to global climate change.
The AIM satellite has three instruments aboard: CIPS, SOFIE and CDE. CIPS is an instrument that will take pictures of the clouds to determine when and where they form, and to show what they look like. SOFIE will measure the temperature and composition of the mesosphere, which is where the clouds form. Finally, CDE will measure how much dust enters the mesosphere from meteors. It is possible that this dust is what water vapor is freezing onto to form PMCs and so is important to understand.


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There might be minor differences between the current version of Wireless System Designer™ and what is shown in these screen captures.
System Definition
20 Chart Types
Block Diagram Icons
Help | Hints
Please click here to visit the following webpage for the most current information. I apologize for the inconvenience.
RF Cascade Workbook 2018™
For more than a decade, RF Cascade Workbook 2005™ has been the de facto standard for spreadsheet-based RF system cascade analysis. Wireless System Designer™ is the next phase in the evolution - not just an upgrade from RFCW2005. If you know how to use Excel and you know anything about cascaded system calculations, then you know how to use RF Cascade Workbook 2018™ (aka Wireless System Designer™). This is significantly easier and faster than using the multi-thousand dollar simulators when a quick system analysis is all that is needed. Hundreds of hours have gone into developing this tool. Please see Wireless System Designer™ intro video below for an overview of features.
Mouse-over Comments for Cells
Excel's cell comment feature is use extensively to provide guidance for Wireless System Designer™ (WSD). The contents of all the hints - and more - can be found on the "Help" worksheet (click the tab at the bottom). The "Help" worksheet, cell mouse-over comments, and this web page comprise the totality of documentation for Wireless System Designer™. There is no separate document available. RF Cascade Workbook 2005™ should also be useful since it extensively documents formulas. Combined, there is a lot of information about not just how to use WSD, but also how cascaded system analysis works. RF Cafe is also chock full of related information, so one way or the other, you're covered.
Because the price for Wireless System Designer™ is so low, I cannot provide any level of assistance with setup or operation. After all, you're getting an amazingly feature-filled program for less than an hour of an engineer's billable time. Reported errors, if any, will be addressed ASAP.
You must enable macros to run or you cannot use Wireless System Designer.
These instructions and screenshots were made in Excel 2007, so your screen and menu placements might be a little different. I verified that everything works fine all the way through Excel 2016.
Here is the complete Help Page from Wireless System Designer™.
Wireless System Designer™ is protected by United States copyright law. Unauthorized copying, alteration, or distribution of this spreadsheet is prohibited by law. As a lawful owner of a Wireless System Designer™ user license, you are permitted to make modifications for your unique application; however, this workbook may not be modified and distributed or sold as a new product.
Disclaimer: Wireless System Designer™ is offered AS IS. Your use of Wireless System Designer™ implies you alone accept responsibility for results obtained through its use, and will hold harmless Kirt Blattenberger, RF Cafe, and all legal assigns for any losses incurred through its use. Wireless System Designer™ has been tested very thoroughly, and there are no known problems at the time of this release. Discrepancies that affect accurate results, if discovered, will be fixed ASAP and a replacement version will be provided at no cost. Also, any and all User modifications to Wireless System Designer™ - other than entering values in the provided Unlocked cells, negates any and all responsibility by RF Cafe for the integrity of the software. Unprotecting a worksheet negates responsibility by RF Cafe.
The built-in ability of locking cells to prevent unintentional overwriting of formulas is used in Wireless System Designer™. Most of the time the protection can be left on. Trust me, even after becoming familiar with use, you will still find yourself accidently attempting to type into formula cells, and of course doing so invalidates calculated results. Probably the only time you will need to remove protection is when inserting or deleting columns or rows. I recommend never Unprotecting any worksheet since doing so invalidates the integrity as provided. Be sure to reapply Protection if you decide to Unprotect. See the WSD Terms of Use information about liability.
Protecting & Unprotecting the Worksheet
Use Excel's Protect Sheet and Unprotect Sheet commands to lock and unlock, respectively, the cells. Use the Password provided in the e-mail sent to you with the file attached. I will be glad to provide it to you again with a proof of purchase.
When Protecting the worksheet, be sure to select ALL the check boxes in order to ensure that the macros will run (click thumbnail above). You might need to scroll down in the window to access all the check boxes. See Worksheet Protection information on the WSD "Help" page.
Inserting and Deleting Columns
Please see this separate page with screen shots and directions showing how to insert and delete columns.
Navigating the Worksheet
Since the complete worksheet occupies nearly 900 rows, a convenient drop-down menu is provided to move up and down the page. Information necessary for the navigation to function is in the cell behind the menu, so if you accidently overwrite the cells, navigation no longer works (keep Protection turned on).
Hiding and Unhiding Columns
Rather than deleting and/or adding component stage columns, it is much simpler to Hide and/or Unhide columns. Doing so retains all the information without having to go through all the steps needed for deleting and/or adding columns. All the input and calculated is retained and included in the overall output, but the Hidden stage columns are not included in the charts. Hiding component stage columns can be a good way to exclude unneeded plots from the charts without requiring you to delete/add data series - which is itself a pain to do.
System Cascade Charts
Charts are pre-configured for plotting all calculated cascade parameters. Auto-scaling of the axes is the default, but you can change all aspects of the chart formats per Excel standard. Select chart to display using drop-down menu.
System-Level Parameters
These four top-level overall system parameters are used for many calculations. Be sure to define them along with the individual stage component parameters.
Build System Block Diagram
Build your system block diagram using the provided images or make your own. Click on the "Icons" tab at the bottom of the page to access and copy the desired icon (58x32 pixels), then paste it into the block diagram. Use Excel's standard Objects alignment and spacing tools for a perfect layout.
Specify Component Parameters
Enter each stage's nominal and tolerance values. Error checking is provided for exceeding power or gain limits (see below), no negative noise figure (NF), making sure NF is equal to absolute value of a negative gain component, etc. Errors are reported in the "Status" cells. Two rows f user-defined cells are provided for formulas along with a "User Defined" chart that displays the cell data.
Set Limits on Gain and Power Input Values
Set maximum values for stage component input parameters. These values are used for Data Validation in the input parameter cells. This results in a limit where the charts auto-scale, since entering a null value of, say +999 dBm for IP3 will render its affect utterly unnoticeable by the system, the IP3 chart will auto-scale to +1000 dBm or more while the IP3 level in your actual system might be a maximum of +50 dBm. The useful data would then be crunched almost entirely at the bottom 5% of the chart. Of course you can always go in and manually scale the chart axis minimum and maximum values as desired if you do use +999 dBm as the null value. This just keeps things reasonable in case you prefer to let the charts auto-scale. Besides, +100 dBm is good enough in most instances.
Specify Lower and Upper Frequency Sweep Limits for Filter Calculations
Enter the lower and upper frequency range for calculating the system response inclusive of filters and frequency conversion stages. 175 equally spaced frequency steps are calculated for all stages. Depending on your system, you might want to do sweeps across the entire input band of concern, then do narrower sweeps that will provide finer detail within your smaller filter bandwidths.
Note: the Lower frequency cannot be zero (0) because of the logarithmic horizontal chart scale. The smallest value permitted is 10-12, which is small enough to include 1 Hz even when the Upper frequency is 1 THz.
Filter Specifications
Every stage can contain a frequency-dependent component which can be an actual filter or a model of the frequency response of an amplifier, cable, coupler, etc. WSD checks to make sure all required inputs are present and alerts you if they are not. For example, if you select a bandpass filter and do not enter a lower frequency or if you use a Chebyshev and do not enter a ripple value (or if you enter invalid values, like lower frequency greater than upper frequency).
Frequency Translation (Mixers | Modulators) Specifications
As with the filter specifications, every stage can have a frequency translation. That means there is no limit to the number of frequency conversions your system can have, although from a practical standpoint you will probably never have more than three. WSD checks to make sure all required inputs are present and alerts you if they are not.
Frequency-Dependent Power Levels
Frequency-dependent power levels based on filter responses and frequency translations are calculated separately from the other system cascade calculations (NF, IP2, IP3, etc.). Along with the filter response, all nominal stage component gains are included. Results are plotted in the "Frequency Response" ("Signal Power vs. Frequency") chart. These frequency-dependent gains and power levels are not used in any of other cascade calculations (NF, IP2, IP3, etc.). Note that frequency and power levels presented this matrix are actually calculated in cells below Row 540, but are done this way to conveniently place power levels next to their associated frequencies while making data selection for the chart simpler (take my word for it).
Wireless System Designer™ Intro Video (part 1)
Wireless System Designer™ Intro Video (part 2)
Posted June 16, 2017
About RF Cafe
Copyright:1996 - 2024
Kirt Blattenberger,
RF Cafe began life in 1996 as "RF Tools" in an AOL screen name web space totaling 2 MB. Its primary purpose was to provide me with ready access to commonly needed formulas and reference material while performing my work as an RF system and circuit design engineer. The World Wide Web (Internet) was largely an unknown entity at the time and bandwidth was a scarce commodity. Dial-up modems blazed along at 14.4 kbps while tying up your telephone line, and a nice lady's voice announced "You've Got Mail" when a new message arrived...
Copyright 1996 - 2026
All trademarks, copyrights, patents, and other rights of ownership to images and text used on the RF Cafe website are hereby acknowledged.
My Hobby Website: AirplanesAndRockets.com | My Daughter's Website: EquineKingdom


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As the name suggests, wireless networks, sometimes called WiFi, allow you to connect to the internet without relying on wires. If your home, office, airport, or even local coffee shop has a wireless connection, you can access the network from anywhere that is within that wireless area.
Wireless networks rely on radio waves rather than wires to connect computers to the internet. A transmitter, known as a wireless access point or gateway, is wired into an internet connection. This provides a "hotspot" that transmits the connectivity over radio waves. Hotspots have identifying information, including an item called an SSID (service set identifier), that allow computers to locate them. Computers that have a wireless card and have permission to access the wireless frequency can take advantage of the network connection. Some computers may automatically identify open wireless networks in a given area, while others may require that you locate and manually enter information such as the SSID.
What security threats are associated with wireless networks?
Because wireless networks do not require a wire between a computer and the internet connection, it is possible for attackers who are within range to hijack or intercept an unprotected connection. A practice known as wardriving involves individuals equipped with a computer, a wireless card, and a GPS device driving through areas in search of wireless networks and identifying the specific coordinates of a network location. This information is then usually posted online. Some individuals who participate in or take advantage of wardriving have malicious intent and could use this information to hijack your home wireless network or intercept the connection between your computer and a particular hotspot.
What can you do to minimize the risks to your wireless network?
- Change default passwords – Most network devices, including wireless access points, are pre-configured with default administrator passwords to simplify setup. These default passwords are easily found online, so they don't provide any protection. Changing default passwords makes it harder for attackers to take control of the device (see Choosing and Protecting Passwords for more information).
- Restrict access – Only allow authorized users to access your network. Each piece of hardware connected to a network has a MAC (media access control) address. You can restrict or allow access to your network by filtering MAC addresses. Consult your user documentation to get specific information about enabling these features. There are also several technologies available that require wireless users to authenticate before accessing the network.
- Encrypt the data on your network – WEP (Wired Equivalent Privacy) and WPA (Wi-Fi Protected Access) both encrypt information on wireless devices. However, WEP has a number of security issues that make it less effective than WPA, so you should specifically look for gear that supports encryption via WPA. Encrypting the data would prevent anyone who might be able to access your network from viewing your data (see Understanding Encryption for more information).
- Protect your SSID – To avoid outsiders easily accessing your network, avoid publicizing your SSID. Consult your user documentation to see if you can change the default SSID to make it more difficult to guess.
- Install a firewall – While it is a good security practice to install a firewall on your network, you should also install a firewall directly on your wireless devices (a host-based firewall). Attackers who can directly tap into your wireless network may be able to circumvent your network firewall—a host-based firewall will add a layer of protection to the data on your computer (see Understanding Firewalls for more information).
- Maintain anti-virus software – You can reduce the damage attackers may be able to inflict on your network and wireless computer by installing anti-virus software and keeping your virus definitions up to date (see Understanding Anti-Virus Software for more information). Many of these programs also have additional features that may protect against or detect spyware and Trojan horses (see Recognizing and Avoiding Spyware and Why is Cyber Security a Problem? for more information).


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Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Parent company | Vivendi (2001–2002) |
Traded as | NASDAQ: HMHC |
Founded | 1832 |
Founder | Henry Oscar Houghton, George Mifflin |
Country of origin | United States |
Headquarters location | Boston, Massachusetts |
Key people | L. Gordon Crovitz, Interim CEO |
Publication types | Books, software |
Imprints | Clarion, Graphia, Mariner, Sandpiper, HMH Books for Young Readers |
Number of employees | 4,000+ |
Official website |
www |
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (/ˈhoʊtən ˈmɪflɪn ˈhɑːrkɔːrt/[1]) is an educational and trade publisher in the United States. Headquartered in Boston's Back Bay, it publishes textbooks, instructional technology materials, assessments, reference works, and fiction and non-fiction for both young readers and adults.
The company was formerly known as Houghton Mifflin Company but changed its name following the 2007 acquisition of Harcourt Publishing.[2] Prior to March 2010, it was a subsidiary of Education Media and Publishing Group Limited, an Irish-owned holding company registered in the Cayman Islands and formerly known as Riverdeep.
In 1832, William Ticknor and James Thomas Fields had gathered an impressive list of writers, including Ralph Waldo Emerson, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and Henry David Thoreau. The duo formed a close relationship with Riverside Press, a Boston printing company owned by Henry Oscar Houghton. Shortly after, Houghton also founded a publishing company with partner George Mifflin. In 1880, Ticknor and Fields and Houghton and Mifflin merged their operations, combining the literary works of writers with the expertise of a publisher and creating a new partnership named Houghton, Mifflin and Company. The company still had debt from when it merged from Houghton, Osgood and Company, so it decided to add partners. In 1884, James D. Hurd, the son of Melancthon Hurd became a partner. Three people in 1888 became partners as well: James Murray Kay, Thurlow Weed Barnes, and Henry Oscar Houghton, Jr.
Shortly thereafter the company established an Educational Department, and from 1891 to 1908 sales of educational materials increased by 500 percent. Soon after 1916, Houghton Mifflin became involved in publishing standardized tests and testing materials, working closely with such test developers as E.F. Lindquist. The company was the fourth-largest educational publisher in the United States in 1921.
In 1961, Houghton Mifflin famously passed on Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, giving it up to Alfred A. Knopf who later published it in 1962. It went on to become an overnight success and is considered by many to be the bible of French cooking. Houghton Mifflin's strategic error was depicted in the 2009 film Julie & Julia.
In 1967, Houghton Mifflin became a publicly traded company on the New York Stock Exchange under the stock symbol HTN.
Under (new from 1991) president Nader F. Darehshori Houghton Mifflin acquired in 1994 for $138 million[3] McDougal Littell, an educational publisher of secondary school materials, and in following year D.C. Heath and Company,[4] a publisher of supplemental educational resources. In 1996, the company created their Great Source Education Group to combine the supplemental material product lines of their School Division and these two companies.
Creation of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Mergers and acquisitions (M&A) activities have had major effects on this company.
Vivendi purchase
In 2001, Houghton Mifflin was acquired by French media giant Vivendi Universal for $2.2 billion including assumed debt. In 2002, facing mounting financial and legal pressures, Vivendi sold Houghton to private equity investors Thomas H. Lee Partners, Bain Capital, and Blackstone Group for $1.66 billion, including assumed debt (approximately 25% less than Vivendi had paid a year earlier).[5][6]
Riverdeep merger with Houghton Mifflin
On December 22, 2006, it was announced that Riverdeep PLC had completed its acquisition of Houghton Mifflin. The new joint enterprise would be called the Houghton Mifflin Riverdeep Group. Riverdeep paid $1.75 billion in cash and assumed $1.61 billion in debt from the private investment firms Thomas H. Lee Partners, Bain Capital and Blackstone Group.[7] Tony Lucki, a former non-executive director of Riverdeep, remained in his position as the company's chief executive officer until April 2009.[8]
Houghton Mifflin sold its professional testing unit, Promissor, to Pearson plc in 2006. The company combined its remaining assessment products within Riverside Publishing, including San Francisco-based Edusoft.
Harcourt merger
On July 16, 2007 Houghton Mifflin Riverdeep announced that it signed a definitive agreement to acquire the Harcourt Education, Harcourt Trade and Greenwood-Heinemann divisions of Reed Elsevier for $4 billion. The expanded company would become Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. McDougal Littell was merged with Harcourt's Holt, Rinehart & Winston to form Holt McDougal
On December 3, 2007, Cengage Learning (formerly Thomson Learning) announced that it had agreed to acquire the assets of the Houghton Mifflin College Division for $750 million, pending regulatory approval.
On November 25, 2008, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt announced a temporary freeze on acquisition of new trade division titles, allegedly in response to the economic crisis of 2008.[9] The publisher of the trade division resigned, apparently in protest.[10] Many observers familiar with the publishing industry saw the move as a devastating blunder.[11][12]
Harcourt Religion was sold to Our Sunday Visitor in 2009[13]
Houghton Mifflin Harcourt restructuring
On July 27, 2009, the Irish Independent newspaper reported that Houghton Mifflin Harcourt's controlling shareholder EMPG was in the process of a re-structuring negotiations with its unsecured-debt holders that would lead to the conversion of the debt into equity. The news story reported that the unsecured debt holders would receive a 45% equity stake. As a result, the royal family of Dubai via their Istithmar World Capital investment vehicle became major stakeholders.[14] Estimates were that EMPG would cut its debt from $7.3bn to $6.1bn. On August 15, 2009, the Financial Times newspaper reported in an interview with Houghton Mifflin Harcourt's CEO at the time, Barry O'Callaghan, that the refinancing had received approval of more than 90% of lenders. The terms included the holding company debt converting into 45% of the fully diluted common equity, an effective 25 per cent relaxation of financial covenants, second lien lenders agreeing to convert their holdings into a PIK instrument, reducing annual interest costs by $100m, and a further $50m increase its working capital facility.[15]
Second round restructuring
A further restructuring of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt's debts was confirmed by the company on January 13, 2010.[16] The proposed restructuring materially impacted the shareholders of EMPG, the former holding company of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.[17]
Recapitalization in 2010
On February 22, 2010, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt announced that EMPG and HMH had reached an agreement to restructure the finances of the company and recapitalize its balance sheet with a substantial fresh cash investment by institutional investors.[18]
The agreement, supported by 100% of HMH's creditors, highlighted a reduction in the senior debt to $3 billion from the current $5 billion, with new equity issued to the senior debt holders (including Paulson & Co. and Guggenheim Partners),[19] conversion of the $2 billion mezzanine debt into equity and warrant, receipt of $650m of new cash from the sale of new equity. In addition to the key highlights, HMH announced its new $100m Innovation Fund, to invest in the next generation of technology for the education industry.
The Irish Times[20] reported that the investments by the then equity holders of EMPG, including HMH's CEO at the time, Barry O'Callaghan, private clients of Davy Stockbrokers, Reed Elsevier, and others of over $3.5 billion would be written down to zero. Additionally, the Irish Independent reported that following the restructuring, the investors of EMPG would have a nominal investment in Houghton Mifflin Harcourt via warrants over 5% of the company if it exceeded the $10 billion valuation[21] placed on the company at the time of the merger between Houghton Mifflin Riverdeep and Harcourt. In addition to the warrants in HMH, the EMPG shareholders would continue to own a stake in the international investment vehicle, EMPGI which has stakes in China, the Middle East and elsewhere.
The Financial Times reported[22] that no management changes were expected as part of the deal with both the CEO at the time, Barry O'Callaghan and the CFO, Michael Muldowney expected to remain in their roles. The Times reported that a new nine-member board was to be created with the CEO the only executive representative, one independent, two representative of Paulson & Co, and one director from each of Apollo, BlackRock, Guggenheim Partners, Fidelity and Avenue Capital.
On March 10, 2010, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt announced that it had completed its re-capitalization.[23] In addition to a new investment of $650 million of equity, the debt levels of the company were reduced by approximately 60% and the annual interest payments by over 75%. According to the Irish State Broadcaster, RTÉ, the old equity investors based in Ireland has lost all their investment.[24] The Irish Independent reported that the old shareholders were denied a shareholders meeting to vote or discuss the restructuring.[25] The former shareholders have been left with warrants over 5% of the company, in the case its value recovers to previous levels.
On September 19, 2011, it was announced that Linda K. Zecher would be replacing Barry O'Callahan as chief executive officer and Director of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt after O'Callahan resigned. Zecher went to HMH from Microsoft. She currently works in the corporate headquarters in Boston.[26]
In 2012, HMH acquired the culinary and reference portfolio of John Wiley & Sons, including CliffNotes and Webster's New World Dictionary.[27]
The company went public in November 2013.[28]
Leadership Changes
On September 22, 2016, Zecher resigned from HMH and was replaced by Interim CEO and Board Member L. Gordon Crovitz. Crovitz is a former publisher of the Wall Street Journal.[29]
Awards and accolades
Curious George at the Zoo was rated a Top Ten app under the Education Games category for the iPad, iPhone and iPod Touch in 2012.[30]
Go George Go!, a mobile app for preschoolers, received the Editor's Choice Award from the Children's Technology Review in 2011.[31]
Go Math!, a K–6 product, was named a Reader's Choice Top 100 product by District Administration in 2010.[32]
The company was ranked the 10th worst place to work in America, according to a survey by Glassdoor in 2009.[33]
In 2016 the company earned the following accolades: 2016 Forbes: HMH one of Top 100 companies for Remote Jobs, 2015 CTO Brook Colangelo won CIO of the year by Boston Business Journal, 79% rating for CEO on GlassDoor
- ↑ "Pronunciation Guide" at the Wayback Machine (archived December 23, 2007). Houghton Mifflin. Archived from the original on December 13, 2007.
- ↑ "Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company: Private Company Information – Businessweek". investing.businessweek.com. Retrieved April 23, 2012.
- ↑ "History of Houghton Mifflin Company – FundingUniverse". Fundinguniverse.com. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "About McDougal Littell". Mcdougallittell.com. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ SUZANNE KAPNER AND ANDREW ROSS SORKIN. "Market Place; Vivendi Is Said To Be Near Sale Of Houghton." New York Times, October 31, 2002
- ↑ "COMPANY NEWS; VIVENDI FINISHES SALE OF HOUGHTON MIFFLIN TO INVESTORS." New York Times, January 1, 2003.
- ↑ "Irish company completes Houghton Mifflin acquisition", Bookdownloading.com, December 22, 2006.
- ↑ Edgecliffe-Johnson, Andrew and Peter Smith. "Riverdeep in talks over $3.5bn takeover of Houghton Mifflin", Financial Times, October 25, 2006.
- ↑ Trachtenberg, Jeffrey A. "Writers' Block: Houghton Won't Acquire New Books", Wall Street Journal, November 25, 2008.
- ↑
- ↑ Archived December 6, 2008, at the Wayback Machine.
- ↑ Streitfeld, David (December 28, 2008). "Bargain Hunting for Books, and Feeling Sheepish About It". The New York Times.
- ↑ "A New Day in Catechesis – Our Sunday Visitor Acquires Harcourt Religion Publishers from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt". Prweb.com. June 5, 2009. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "Dubai's royal family to buy up stake in EMPG". Independent.ie. July 28, 2009. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ Edgecliffe, Andrew (August 15, 2009). "EMPG refinancing will cut $7.6bn debt". FT.com. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "EMPG pushes for financial shake-up". FT.com. January 14, 2010. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Secures New $650-Million Cash Investment and Recapitalizes Balance Sheet in Historic Restructuring". Bookdownloading.com. Retrieved 2015-05-31.
- ↑ "Houghton Mifflin Parent Company Restructures Debt - WSJ.com". Online.wsj.com. February 23, 2010. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "EMPG agrees $650 cash injection". The Irish Times. Retrieved 24 February 2015.
- ↑ "EMPG restructuring an end for old order". Independent.ie. February 23, 2010. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ Edgecliffe, Andrew (February 23, 2010). "Debt deal averts HMH bankruptcy". FT.com. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Announces Successful Completion of Balance Sheet Recapitalization". Business Wire. March 10, 2010. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "O'Calaghan firm completes debt deal – RTÉ News". Rte.ie. March 10, 2010. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ Executive Leadership
- ↑ "In Deal With Wiley, Houghton Acquires Cookbooks and CliffsNotes". Media Decoder Blog. Retrieved 2014-09-06.
- ↑ Textbook publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt prices IPO at $12 a share
- ↑
- ↑ "Curious George – Educational Games, Activities & Videos for Kids". Hmhco.com. Retrieved 2013-12-11.
- ↑ "Go George Go! | Children's Technology Review". Childrenstech.com. January 11, 2011. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
- ↑ "Reader's Choice Top 100". DistrictAdministration.com. Retrieved 2013-11-13.
- ↑ Wulfhorst, Ellen (December 16, 2009). "List of top U.S. places to work: survey". Reuters. Retrieved 2013-08-18.
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In the first part of this series we focused on three main objectives: 1) we considered the question of why we might bit mask (bitmask) in the database, 2) we reviewed numbers, counting, base 2, base 10, and 3) we solved a simple problem using bitmasking. For that first part, we engaged a method which could be termed "bit cramming" if you will; packing multiple bits of data into a single binary data type, and represented the values of those bits. When it came time to unmask those values, we use the various bitwise operators and then decoded the values back to independent elements. That example demonstrated the theoretical aspects of bitmasking – today, you would probably not use this technique as a general rule in a relational database, although I still receive plenty of email from SQL programmers needing information and looking to use the technique in some form or fashion within their own environments.
In the days where space was expensive and scarce, the notion of writing compact code and conserving resources was anything but an afterthought. Today, although we have fast processors, lots of RAM, and disk space, we still can use this technique to solve problems for which an alternative solution is suboptimal. In Part 2 of this series, we expand the technique to a more practical problem in SQL Server, and in Part 3 we will expand the programmability of bitmasking.
Bitmasking representations
Bitmasking is an exercise of compiling multiple values that are normally represented in a number of data types to a single computer word. In a previous example, we used the binary data type to see how bit manipulation is represented visually. Four bits, a nibble, allowed us to see bits map to the visual representation of our data in hexadecimal form; aside from this, there was really no other reason to use the binary data type, so for this article we will use integers for our representations.
Consider a web form with 25 checkboxes and 25 dropdowns. How would a programmer or database developer manage putting the SQL together to send as a query to the database? A WHERE clause with 50 elements? LINQ? A "homespun" split function in TSQL? Appending 50 parameters in c# code? Or maybe use sp_executesql directly to n number of tables? All are valid ways of achieving the desired result, yet none is as elegant as using the technique described here. But bitmasking is also more than just representing our data easily. We can also use the bitwise operators to check, search, sort, and alter masked data. Simply combining data values into one column is very nice, but the magic occurs when you can peek inside of the mask to analyze the values.
At this point, I suggest that you (re)visit the first part of the series to gain a refresher on bitmasking, operators, and related terms. If you are comfortable with what has been covered up to now, or are familiar with the topic, skip past the next section. Otherwise, let's continue. For a quick warm-up, recall that our bit counting went something like 0, 1, 2, 4, 8, etc. Since we are using integers for our assignments, the absence of "bit cramming" and bitshifting will make our operation this time more straightforward and more palatable. So, for each attribute that we want to represent, a single value – integer pair will suffice.
Masking using integers
Let us take a look at bitmasking with integers. We will limit our masking to only two simple operators, the bitwise AND (&) and the bitwise OR (|) for our calculations here. For our scenario, we are taking orders for automobiles, and we wish to store the options that a customer has chosen in a masked integer. This allows us to represent those values easily in one column in the database.
/* * * * * * * * * * * * * * Simple Masking exercise using bitwise AND and OR. Adding car options to an order. Attribute Value
-------------------------------------- Car only 1 400 hp 6.0 liter engine 2 Automatic Transmission 4 Custom stereo w/ JBL speakers 8 Tint 16 Supercharger 32 Alarm system 64 Turbocharger 128 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * */
-- This is a car with no options (resulting mask in parenthesis) SELECT 1 | 1 -- (1) -- Let's add the big motor! SELECT 1 | 2 -- (3) -- And the cool stereo SELECT 1 | 2 | 8 -- (11) -- Got to have the supercharger! SELECT 1 | 2 | 8 | 32 -- (43) -- Oops, wife says no supercharger SELECT 43 & 11 -- (11) -- Add the alarm SELECT 11 | 64 -- (75 our final mask value that represents our options) -- I forgot - did we add the big motor? SELECT CASE WHEN 75 & 2 = 2 THEN 'Yes we did' ELSE 'No' END
These are very straightforward operations for building a mask can be using bitwise AND and bitwise OR operators. Notice how the | builds the mask (or adds to it) and the "&" takes away from, so to speak, and assists us with checking the mask value. From previous knowledge, we know that all we are doing is flipping bits on and off behind the scenes. These values can then be easily inserted into a table and used in a search:
IF OBJECT_ID('CustOrders')IS NOT NULL DROP TABLE CustOrders GO CREATE TABLE CustOrders (CustID int NOTNULL PRIMARY KEY ,CustFirst varchar (10) ,CustLast varchar (10) ,Car varchar (20) ,OptionsMask int ) GO
INSERT INTO dbo.CustOrders
(CustId, CustFirst, CustLast, Car, OptionsMask) VALUES (1,'Sally','Smith', 'Camaro', 3) ,(2,'Joe', 'Celko','Monaro', 25) ,(3,'Steve', 'Jones','GTO', 51) -- So, who bought car w/6.0 litre and supercharger? Why, none other than Steve Jones! SELECT * FROM dbo.CustOrders WHERE OptionsMask & 34 =(2|32)
Do the possibilities of performing such an operation begin to appear? If not, they will shortly. Notice that we have taken several "options", or attributes, and represented them by a single integer value. No need for eight columns here as we can combine all of our values into one value. The value is easy to manage, compact, and the concept surprisingly simple.
On leveraging .Net and the SQL CLR
Many of us have either dabbled in or used the SQL CLR a time or two since the release of SQL Server 2005, and some of us have actually incorporated .Net assembly into the database namespace; if nothing else you have at least heard about or have read documentation on the its existence. While this is not a forum to debate the merits of the SQL CLR, or to engage the reader in a debate on whether or not C# or VB.NET code should reside in the database or in the middle-tier, using a programming language to assist with bitmasking is a worthwhile technique. Because it is a procedural process, this technique naturally fits well with either c# or vb.net.
We have oftentimes heard the discourse that TSQL is a set-based language, and is somewhat lacking when it comes to procedural coding. Because we have the CLR available now, gone are the days of having to fight through creating and making safe extended stored procedures in SQL Server. Available to us now are all of the rich methods and properties of the .Net library. And while all of the code in this article may be written in TSQL (I choose to parlay its strengths into the following CLR code) it can readily be handled wherever the programmer may choose based on preference and/or performance.
A bit of history
Over ten years ago I worked at Match.com in Dallas, TX as a DBA. The original Match programmers, based in the San Francisco Bay Area, implemented for their search engine using pl/sql and C++ a really nice facility for potential love mates to search for their "one and only", and more specifically, a search routine that relied heavily on bitmasking. When the company was sold and operations moved to the Dallas/Fort Worth area, the database was converted to SQL Server from the Oracle/Unix environment, and the search engine rewritten in TSQL continued to perform effectively. The rest is history, as they say. Match.com continues to be the number one online dating web site in the world.
The reason that I bring up Match is twofold. First, I appreciate the programming techniques that were used back then, and second, it provides a platform which we can create meaningful and relevant examples for bitmasking.
Our Challenge
Our challenge is to create a search engine. To set the stage, we will use the real-world scenario from a fictitious dating web site – multiple dropdowns that require fast searching. (For the sake of brevity, we will limit the number of options). This type of search is suitable for bitmasking as all of the items are predefined and are not of the free-form, full text search variety. The assumptions and requirements for our search engine using bitmasking are 1) three drop-downs on a web form, 2) search attributes include hair, age, and gender, and 3) the matches must return a rank for hit percentage. We will use TSQL to query the database, and deploy a CLR Table-Valued Function (TVF) to handle our masking operation. Remember – the logic for handling this can be moved anywhere, including to either TSQL or business logic layer (BLL). Additionally, a traditional scalar UDF or CLR UDF could replace the TVF. Once again, I stress that all of the locations for the code are interchangeable, so I suggest that you experiment with various combinations in order to decide which will work best for your scenario.
The power of this technique will now become clear as we search on a masked value against another mask. Each searching customer will have two masks – one mask that represents "who he or she wants", and another to represent "what he or she is". When a person is searching, we will take the attributes for the persons that they are looking for - "searchees" - and match them to the attributes of the "searchor".
Steps to Build the Example Search Engine
1) Create a key for mask representations – Search on three hair colors, three age bands, and gender and assign them integer values. I suggest that you always jot down your data mapping prior to beginning any bit assignments.
/* * * * * * * * * * * * * * Search Engine Key to Assign Bits
Attribute Value
-------------------------------------- Blonde 1 Brunette 2 Red 4 Age_1822 8 Age_2327 16 Age_2835 32 Male 64 Female 128 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * */
2) Create the .Net CLR code – a Table-valued User-defined function written in c#
using System; using System.Data; using System.Data.SqlClient; using System.Data.SqlTypes; using System.Collections; using Microsoft.SqlServer.Server;
public partial class UserDefinedFunctions { #regionUser-defined function
//Attributes for table that is to be returned [Microsoft.SqlServer.Server.SqlFunction( FillRowMethodName = "RowFiller", TableDefinition = "Gender INT, Hair INT, Age INT, SearchResults DECIMAL (4,2)")] public static IEnumerable Mask(Int32 inputMask, Int32 inputSearch) { if ((inputMask < 1) || (inputSearch < 1)) throw newArgumentOutOfRangeException("Mask Value", "Mask Value less than 1 - please resubmit query.");
//local declaration decimal searchResults = 0M;
//attribute mask for matching check int hair = 1 | 2 | 4; int age = 8 | 16 | 32; int gender = 64 | 128;
//mask vs input and search int hairResult = inputMask & hair & inputSearch; int ageResult = inputMask & age & inputSearch; int genderResult = inputMask & gender & inputSearch;
//Check for hair, age, and gender match based on mask if (hairResult != 0) searchResults = .33M; if ((inputMask & age & inputSearch) != 0) searchResults += .33M; if ((inputMask & gender & inputSearch) != 0) searchResults += .33M;
yieldreturn new Results( genderResult , hairResult , ageResult , searchResults ); } #endregion
#regionRowFiller function public static void RowFiller(object obj, out SqlInt32 Gender , out SqlInt32 Hair, out SqlInt32 Age, out decimal SearchResults ) { Results rr = obj as Results; Gender = rr.Gender; Hair = rr.Hair; Age = rr.Age; SearchResults = rr.searchResults; } #endregion
#regionResults helper class private class Results { internal decimal searchResults; internal Int32 Gender; internal Int32 Age; internal Int32 Hair; internal Results( Int32 Gender, Int32 Hair, Int32 Age, decimal searchResults) { this.Gender = Gender; this.Hair = Hair; this.Age = Age; this.searchResults = searchResults; } } #endregion }
This function is used to compare our masks and return the search results to SQL server via TSQL. Because this particular lesson doesn't require learning CLR code (you can work on this later or post any questions in the discussion), study the snippet of code below which is the portion that handles the comparison of the mask to the representation of attributes, essentially the crux of the search.
// mask vs input and search int hairResult = inputMask & hair & inputSearch; int ageResult = inputMask & age & inputSearch; int genderResult = inputMask & gender & inputSearch;
Both masks enter the function as input parameters, the input mask and the input search. The input mask is the mask value that represents the preferred search result, while the input search is the list of candidate masks of potential matches. Each of the variables - hair, age, and gender - represent our mask values so when the code executes the if statement, ANDing all three values not equal to zero allows us to determine whether or not a match exists. If it does match, a searchResults variable is upped by a given percentage; here 33%, since we have only three attributes to search upon.
3) Create our table
SET NOCOUNT ON IF OBJECT_ID ('Customers')IS NOT NULL DROPTABLE Customers; GO CREATE TABLE [dbo].[Customers]( [CustId] [int] NOT NULL, [CustMask] [int] NULL, [CustSearchMask] [int] NULL, PRIMARY KEY CLUSTERED ( [CustId] ASC )WITH (PAD_INDEX =OFF, STATISTICS_NORECOMPUTE =OFF, IGNORE_DUP_KEY=OFF , ALLOW_ROW_LOCKS =ON , ALLOW_PAGE_LOCKS =ON)ON [PRIMARY] ) ON [PRIMARY]; GO
3) Insert some customers
INSERT INTO Customers VALUES (1, 73, 145 ) -- blonde 18-22 male seeking blonde 23-27 female ,(2, 145, 74) -- blonde 23-27 female seeking brunette 18-22 male ,(3, 65, 1) -- blonde male seeking blonde ,(4, 129, 65) -- blonde female seeking blonde male ,(5, 129, 65) -- blonde female seeking blonde male ,(6, 129, 65) -- blonde female seeking blonde male ,(7, 164, 0) -- red 28-35 female
4) Query the data – study the values that are being searched and the returned mask. Look up CustId in the Customers table to verify that the search is working as intended. Then, create some of your own queries to see how the search performs using various parameter values. Study the execution plan and note the efficiency of the queries. Experiment with adding more rows, removing some of the query elements (such as the ORDER BY), and add indexes to the table as you see fit.
--Query 1: Seeking brunette 18_22 male DECLARE @mask int SET @mask = 2 | 8 | 64 SELECT CustId, CustMask, Gender, Hair, Age, SearchResults FROM Customers CROSS APPLY dbo.Mask(@mask, CustMask) WHERE Gender>0 ORDER BY SearchResults DESC GO --Query 2: Seeking blonde female 23-27 DECLARE @mask int SET @mask = 145 SELECT CustId, CustMask, Gender, Hair, Age, SearchResults FROM Customers CROSS APPLY dbo.Mask(@mask, CustMask) WHERE Gender>0 ORDER BY SearchResults DESC GO --Query 3: Seeking brunette male DECLARE @mask int SET @mask = 66 SELECT CustId, CustMask, Gender, Hair, Age, SearchResults FROM Customers CROSS APPLY dbo.Mask(@mask, CustMask) WHERE Gender>0 ORDER BY SearchResults DESC GO --Query 4: Seeking red 28_35 female DECLARE @mask int SET @mask = 164 SELECT CustId, CustMask, Gender, Hair, Age, SearchResults FROM Customers CROSS APPLY dbo.Mask(@mask, CustMask) WHERE Gender>0 ORDER BY SearchResults DESC GO
A few notes about this search engine
This is a simple example of a search engine for searching attributes with set domains, but the strength, flexibility, and ease of use is apparent. A list of some important business logic concepts were deliberately left out, but could include the following:
1) Filtering – this search engine could be set up to remove the largest chunks of data first. For example, filtering on zip code might be the first predicate used to narrow the result set quickly.
2) Two-way matching – this search engine does not provide the facility for two-way matching (matching one mask's preferences to another's)
3) Gender variations – this search engine does not provide the built-in facility for alternative gender matching
4) Percentage hits – this search engine manually calculates hit % based on hard-coded values
5) Others
We have explored another form of bitmasking in this article, and have expanded our initial survey of the topic from part 1 by creating a straightforward method to solving a realistic problem. The technique is simple to implement and easy to understand, and can be used in many situations to solve a variety of problems. Also, we limited our operators to bitwise AND and bitwise OR which coincide with the introductory nature of this series. Although some may think of it as an abstract or outdated method of data representation and manipulation, it is still widely used in procedural and database programming implementations.
About the author
Lee Everest M.S. is a principal consultant with Sogeti USA LLC. He is also an adjunct at North Lake College in Irving, Texas, and can be reached at his blog at www.texastoo.com.


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We are delighted to be able to reopen our after school club at Walsh Memorial Infant School for the new school year, in a Covid-Secure way and in-line with latest guidance from the Department for Education.
Whilst there will be changes in the way we operate our after school club, our after school club will continue to offer a welcoming, safe & fun space for your child to relax and have fun with friends after a busy school day. Click here to read how our clubs will operate in a Covid-Secure way.
Staggered Collection Times
In-line with Government guidelines, staggered collection times will be in place to reduce crowds, limit contact, allow more time for children to be outside & for KOOSA Kids staff to maintain cleaning schedules.
We kindly ask you to respect the timings below and not to collect your children outside of these time frames as Site Supervisors will not be able to accommodate this. Registration at each specific time will be open for 15 minutes or until everyone in the queue has been signed out.
Please only collect your child from the after school club at one of the following times:
Collection will be outside, regardless of the weather, and parents will not be able to enter the building. KOOSA Kids staff will offer a contactless sign in, where parents will be asked to review any information and staff will countersign on their behalf. Collection will be from outside the side door.
How will my child be looked after?
Your children will be grouped in 'bubbles' according to Department for Education guidelines and as agreed with the schools. Year R & 1 will form one bubble, Year 2 will form a second bubble and children attending from Walsh Junior School will form a third bubble. Each bubble will be allocated a dedicated space and equipment in the school hall.
To avoid disappointment, we would like to remind you that we are unable to guarantee your child will be placed in the same bubble as their friends. Please note, bubbles will not mix throughout the session.
Suitably qualified staff, including Paediatric First Aiders, are present at the club at all times.
KOOSA Kids After School Club at Walsh Memorial C of E Infant School, Ash has been providing, fun, active and affordable after school childcare for the children of Walsh Memorial C of E Infant School, since 2018.
Our after school club at Walsh Memorial C of E Infant School is open from school finish until 6.00pm and is based from the school hall.
The after school club makes use of lots of excellent facilities and each day a selection of healthy and nutritious snacks will be made available.
Facilities include:
Ofsted Registration Number: EY558211
Download KOOSA Kids After School Club at Walsh Memorial C of E Infant School Ofsted Inspection Report
Cost: £13.75 per child
Booking: You can book sessions by 6.00pm the working day before you need them or, if you require after school childcare on a more permanent basis, we can contract the days you require, guaranteeing your sessions on an ongoing basis. Call 01276 21884 for more information.
Whether they simply want to sit quietly and read a book, enjoy some creative time at one of our art tables or play with their friends inside or outside, our after school club team will accommodate their needs and help them enjoy their time at KOOSA Kids.
We understand that at the end of a busy school day, children are often tired and may just want to chill out during their time with us. For this reason, we schedule in Free Time Zone every day, straight after school until 4.15pm and last thing (5.15pm until 6.00pm).
During Free Time Zone children are able to choose what they want to do. There is a choice of playing board games, drawing, reading, Lego, Giant Jenga, puzzles, extensive art areas, watching a DVD and Playstation Zone (at limited times), Homework areas (optional) or just simply relaxing with friends.
Between the two Free Time Zones, the children may either choose to take part in a group activity from our Discovery & Endeavour Zone, or have supervised Free Play, utilising the extensive range of equipment we have available at each of our after school clubs. Weather permitting, we always aim to take the children outside during their time with us.
Each after school club session gives children the option to take part in an organised activity from either our Discovery or Endeavour Zone.
There are hundreds of kids activities to choose from and these might include Clay Moulding, Lego Building, Cricket, Hockey, Golf, Football, Relays, Parachute Games, Bug Hunting, Painting / Drawing, Role Play and much, much more!
The group as a whole will decide each afternoon which activity to play. Alternatively, we offer free play as an organised activity, where the children choose exactly what they wish to take part in from a selection of equipment made available by the staff.
On top of the activities on offer each day in our Free Time and Discovery & Endeavour Zones, we also arrange occasional visits from community groups in the local area. For instance, visits from Local Fire and Police Crews have been a big hit with the children at our after school clubs in the last few years!
The crews who attend are fantastic. Often the children are given the chance to sit in the fire engine, try on the uniform and accessories and even operate the hoses! They really do have a fabulous time when the emergency services arrive!
Additionally, we support national charity events like Children in Need and Red Nose Day as well as awareness campaigns such as Road Safety Awareness Week and World Book Day. Where possible, we will also give children the opportunity to enter national competitions, e.g. the Games Inventor Competition.
Great staff very polite and child friendly, lots of activities, my son loves it!
St Michael's Infant School, After School Parent, July 2019
Really nice environment for after school - creative, calm, fun, and stimulating.
St. Mary's Hampton CE Primary School, ASC Parent, July 2019
Well structured activities. Lots of age appropriate games. Friendly, helpful staff.
St. Mary's & St Peter's Primary, ASC Parent, July 2019
Booking your after school club sessions is very easy! Simply log into your account and follow the easy to navigate bookings steps. If you are using KOOSA Kids for the first time, you will need to register an account and provide us with all the relevant information requested. You will only have to do this once. Alternatively, please call us on 01276 21884 and we will be happy to register your account and take your booking over the phone. You can contact us by phone from 9.30am to 6.00pm, Monday to Friday. Bookings can be made up to 6pm the working day before you need them or, if you require childcare on a more permanent basis, we can set up an agreement for you to guarantee your sessions each week.
You are able to book your after school club sessions on a half termly basis. When the dates for the next half term have been released, simply log into your online account and you can book all the dates you require in one go, subject to availability. Alternatively, you can call us on 01276 21884 to book your sessions over the phone. If you require the same sessions on an ongoing basis, we can set up an agreement for you which guarantees your session on an ongoing basis. Please call our Bookings Team on 01276 21884 for more information.
Yes we can! Bookings for our after school clubs can be made by 6pm the working day before you need them, or if you require childcare on an ongoing basis, for the same days each week, we can set up a 'Permanent Places Agreement' with you, which guarantees your child's places every half term. Giving you peace of mind, knowing the sessions you need will always be available to you. Please call our Bookings Team on 01276 21884 for more information.
A 'casual booking' refers to bookings made as and when you need them and you do not hold a 'Permanent Places Agreement' which guarantees your sessions on an ongoing basis.


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C10 Interior
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Are you not as comfortable as you used to be inside your classic Chevy C10 pickup? If so, chances are that your inner cabin has seen better days and some of its components are outdated. Before you make any sweeping changes, however, it would be wise to browse through CJ's assortment of replacement Chevy C10 Interior parts & accessories. In addition to C10 interior upgrades, CJ's carries everything that you need to get your Chevy truck up and running again. If you are searching for the best deals on Chevy C10 interior parts, look no further than CJ's!
For over 25 years, the Chevy C10 stood near the top of the food chain as one of the top full-size pickups on the market. Today, C10 trucks are commonly found at classic car shows right alongside Ford F-100s and other trucks of yesteryear. If you are hoping to get your pickup out of the showroom and back on the road, however, you have a great deal of OE Chevy C10 parts to collect. Restoring a classic Chevy truck can be a rewarding, yet taxing process, which requires welding scores of replacement body & sheet metal parts into place.
Though rebuilding the vehicle's exterior certainly takes up the lion's share of the work, it is important to give the same time and effort to other areas of your restoration project, such as the C10 interior. The Chevy C10 interior is your safe haven from the outdoors and is home to all of the controls and devices that enable your pickup to rumble down the highway. Designed to be simple and functional, your classic Chevy C10 interior is a far cry from overstuffed modern pickups of the present, but still features everything that you need to remain safe and comfortable on the roadway.
Rebuilding your C10 interior requires a number of small touches, but the process centers around a host of large components, such as the seats. The seats are the heart of any C10 interior restoration project and will give you an excellent opportunity to put your own personal stamp on your Chevy truck. Rather than swapping out your outdated bench seat for direct-replacement, you are free to upgrade to bucket seats, which will create much-needed space for the driver and front seat passenger. Having a comfortable C10 interior can go a long way toward increasing your driving experience in the coming years.
Because your classic truck is several decades old, chances are that many of your original Chevy C10 interior parts are on their last leg. After many years of serving you well, dash pads can crack, seats can tear, and other C10 interior components can begin to fade. Driving around with an outdated or damaged inner cabin not only looks bad but could present a number of safety risks. The best way to preserve your truck's appearance and functionality is to swap out any damaged components for new Chevy C10 interior parts as soon as possible!
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Are you in the process of restoring your classic Chevy C10 pickup? If so, don't forget about the inner cabin! No restoration process is complete without a fresh C10 interior, and in many cases, refurbishing the inner cabin represents the last step before getting your pickup back on the road. The problem is, because the vehicle is so old, it can be difficult to find the proper, OE C10 interior parts. Though re-installing your replacement Chevy C10 interior components is certainly time-consuming, finding the correct parts in the first place can be just as challenging.
Whether you are looking to replace any damaged accessories or if you are hoping to modernize your inner cabin, CJ's would love to help! CJ's is proud to be your one-stop-shop for the best Chevy C10 interior parts around! Because we are dedicated to helping you properly restore your Chevy pickup, CJ's only carries replacement C10 interior parts from the most trusted names in the industry. Regardless of which brand that you select, you can rest easy knowing that your truck's interior is in excellent hands!
In order to serve Chevy fans from all walks of life, CJ's offers a wide variety of C10 interior parts, including dash pads, door panels, headliners, seats, sun visors, and more. The C10 headliners are available in multiple different colors and can be installed using your original trim strips. CJ's sells C10 sun visors individually or in pairs, which will help you better transform your cabin in one-fell-swoop.
If you are looking for replacement C10 seats, CJ's has you covered! CJ's offers both bench and bucket seats that provide maximum comfort and customization. Not only do these new C10 seats look amazing, the new foam will feel great on your back and make your ride more comfortable. Be sure to note your truck's correct year and any fitment requirements before you purchase any Chevy C10 interior parts from CJ's. What are you waiting for? Head over to CJ's for the best C10 parts on the market today!


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UPDATE #2 , May 26, 2012 - Well, the IndieGoGo site shows that POE didn't quite reach the funding goal of $13,000, but it got close. Good luck to Michael Sporn as he continues to press forward with this independent animated feature.
*However, this just in from Michael Sporn:
"The amount shown on PayPal doesn't reach the $13,000 goal requested, just $12,225. But several people had difficulty with PayPal and asked to just send me the money directly. With that additional $1450, we've definitely reached and passed the goal, and I couldn't be happier: $13,675."
UPDATE #1 , May 25, 2012 - as of this writing only 8 hours to go. The POE project is at $12,175 , just $825 short of the goal of $13,000. That's doable if only 55 people give the minimum of $15.00 each. 42 people could put them over the top with $20.00 each.
I just donated to this project and I recommend my readers consider it.
More information in the video and at this link:
The Poe Project on
"The Animatic, above, is a rough representation of animation in progress. It helps us tell the story. We hope to turn the many segments started into completed animation to be able to thrust the feature film, POE, into complete production. The money raised throughKickstarterIndieGoGo will do that for us and help satisfy the needs of the possible distributors and financiers who are already interested."
Director Michael Sporn has worked in animation since the early 1970's , first working with other notable Directors such as John Hubley and Richard Williams , and then running his own studio since the late 1970's . He also has one of the premier animation blogs which I highly recommend you bookmark and check frequently if you don't already have it:
Michael Sporn's Splog


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Item #: SCP-912
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-912 is to be kept at Research Unit ██ in a standard containment cell. The cell door must have a damage resistance rating of 3A or above. Direct physical handling of SCP-912 causes a potentially dangerous reaction and should be avoided except as part of an authorized testing protocol.
All researchers involved in SCP-912 must receive briefing SCP-912-002A ("Safe Handling of SCP-912") and SCP-912-002B ("Dealing with 'Arrest' Behaviour by SCP-912"). In the event of "arrest" by SCP-912, researchers are to offer minimal resistance and await rescue by an associate wearing the uniform of the ██PD.
Experiments that involve the use of firearms or the CQ firing range require authorization from Dr ███████ at least 24 hrs in advance in order to permit route clearance and schedule deconfliction.
Description: SCP-912 consists of several items of police-issue body armour, clothing and equipment that together form a discrete entity capable of independent movement and action. Both the method by which this ability has been acquired and means by which it is achieved have yet to be identified. The elements that comprise SCP-912 conform to the standards of uniform worn by the ██PD SWAT as of ██/20██ (the approximate date of acquisition). Uniform elements float in mid-air as though worn by a man or woman around 185 cm (6'1") in height, but no such presence can be detected. SCP-912 does not directly respond to communication attempts, but will follow simple orders in English given by personnel wearing the uniform of an officer of the ██PD.
SCP-912 consists of the following:
- One dark gray ██PD ballistic helmet with transparent face-protecting visor.
- One black Nomex® tactical balaclava from unknown manufacturer.
- One set navy blue ██PD ████████ Tactical Body Armor from ███████ Armor, Ltd. SWAT insignia printed upon front and back.
- Includes several ammo/grenade/storage pouches (all apparently empty, though SCP-912 resists inspection).
- One pouch contains "PlastiCuff" restraints. Supply seems to remain constant regardless of "arrests" made.
- One pair of black knee pads from ██████ Armor Ltd.
- One pair of black elbow pads from ██████ Armor Ltd.
- One pair of █████-███ steel toe-capped combat boots from unknown manufacturer.
- One pair of black combat gloves by ███ Armor Ltd.
- Closed and fastened pistol holster suitable for a mid-sized sidearm from unknown manufacturer.
- One 53 cm (21 in) telescopic steel baton. Handle is apparently made from hardened plastic with a textured grip.
In its default state, SCP-912 has been assessed to pose no hazard to health, security or risk of escape when handled in accordance with SCP-912-002A and SCP-912-002B.
If given the command "Arrest <subject>" by a person wearing the uniform of the ██PD, or in the event that SCP-912 detects an armed individual or individuals within its visual radius, it will commence "arrest" behaviour. SCP-912 will attempt to disarm and restrain the subject upon the ground, then secure their arms behind their back using a pair of PlastiCuffs. The force used in the process of this "arrest" greatly exceeds ██PD SWAT guidelines and statutory procedures. SCP-912 frequently inflicts injury to the neck, shoulder and arms of the arrested individual due to apparent unawareness or indifference to the mechanical limitations of human anatomy. Resistance on the behalf of the individual being "arrested" causes a corresponding increase in force until cessation.
SCP-912 will attack should it detect threatening or hostile behaviour towards itself or an individual wearing the uniform of the ██PD. SCP-912 deploys its telescopic steel baton and approaches the nearest armed subject at an average speed of 5 km/h. If the armed subject drops the weapon and ceases threatening behaviour before SCP-912 moves into combat range, the normal "arrest" procedure will be initiated. If the subject initiates hostile action or is still holding the weapon when SCP-912 enters combat range, SCP-912 will strike powerful blows at the head and upper arms of the subject for up to a minute after the subject loses consciousness. Once all armed subjects are subdued, "arrest" behaviour proceeds as normal.
SCP-912 considers the following to be weapons and will initiate attack behaviour upon sight: firearms; bladed weapons (including kitchen knives longer than 10 cm (4 in) in length); batons, clubs and similar blunt instruments; Tasers and pepper spray; [REDACTED]; and "joy" buzzers.
SCP-912 will initiate attack behaviour when the following are used in a "threatening" manner: power and hand tools; knotted rope; lengths of chain; brass knuckles; sports equipment (e.g. baseball bat, golf club); clipboard.
SCP-912 only permits an individual it has "arrested" to be removed from its presence by a person wearing the uniform of the ██PD. An individual wearing the appropriate uniform is not detained by SCP-912 regardless of armament, except where physical aggression is shown towards another subject wearing ██PD uniform. SCP-912 does not react to hostile actions by ██PD uniformed personnel towards non-uniformed victims and does not react to hostile actions between unarmed individuals not wearing ██PD uniform, regardless of injuries sustained.
SUMMARY OF TEST RESULTS: Threat/Response Behaviour of SCP-912 (██/██/20██)
TEST: Remote Operated Vehicle (Srl No# 25168162) with cutting tool activates implement and approaches D-3117 (restrained to chair).
RESULT: No response. Test terminated when cutting tool 1.5 cm from D-3117's throat.
COMMENT: Either SCP-912 does not consider the ROV a threat, or it doesn't care about the fate of the D-class subject. Test protocols amended on hygiene grounds.TEST: Remote Operated Vehicle (Srl No# 25168162) with cutting tool activates implement and approaches D-3117 (restrained in same chair). D-3117 now wearing ██PD uniform.
RESULT: SCP-912 attacked the ROV when the cutting tool came within two feet of the subject. Attack continued until ROV deactivated remotely and "stand down" command given by D-3117
COMMENT: SCP-912 does not appear to modify behaviour in response to a non-humanoid threat.TEST: D-3073 (wearing D-class uniform) ordered to simulate attacking D-3075 (wearing D-class uniform).
RESULT: No response.
COMMENT: SCP-912 appeared to be utterly indifferent even when D-3073 accidentally made full contact with D-3075 and inflicted a nosebleedTEST: D-3073 (wearing ██PD uniform) ordered to simulate attacking D-3075 (wearing D-class uniform).
RESULT: No response.
COMMENT: As suspected, based on the evidence in the acquisition report.TEST: D-3073 (wearing D-class uniform) ordered to simulate attacking D-3075 (wearing ██PD uniform)
RESULT: SCP-912 attacked D-3073 with telescopic baton until subject unconscious, then restrained the subject. D-3073 hospitalized with suspected broken jaw.
COMMENT: Primary test went largely as expected. However, when D-3075 attempted to intervene to prevent further harm to D-3073 he accidentally placed his right hand into the left arm cavity of SCP-912. D-3075 was immediately set upon by SCP-912 and beaten to death using the telescopic baton and boots. It seems that SCP-912 will not tolerate violation of the space enclosed by the constituent equipment no matter what uniform is worn.TEST: D-3118 (armed with 30 cm (12 in) knife) and D-3119 (armed with pistol) ordered to attack D-3126. D-3119 ordered to drop weapon before contact.
RESULT: SCP-912 moved towards D-class subjects as soon as weapons exposed. D-3119 initial focus of attention until weapon dropped, at which point SCP-912 attacked D-3118, who is disarmed violently. D-3118 right hand and forearm suspected fractured. Right index finger amputated in struggle. D-3119 initially resists "arrest" by SCP-912 and has both shoulders dislocated during restraint procedure. Test halted and D-class personnel removed for medical treatment.
COMMENT: SCP-912 places greater emphasis upon guns than melee weapons. Finer insight into the threat hierarchy is achievable but would involve needless waste of D-class personnel.
Testing of SCP-912 in a SWAT style tactical environment is currently ongoing. Agents █████, ██████████ and ████ have prior SWAT team experience and are preparing appropriate scenarios on behalf of Dr ███████.


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This lovely Personalised Zodiac Taurus Card is a unique way to celebrate that special Birthday.Personalise the front of this with any name up to 20 charactersThe inside of this card can be personalised with up to 5 lines of text, with a maximum of 25 characters per line.On the front of this card the words 'Happy Birthday' and 'Taurus' are fixed. Inside of the card on the left hand side the Taurus dates (April 20th- May 20th) and the traits are also fixed text.All personalisation is case sensitive and will appear as requested.All cards come in a brown outer envelope with a plain white envelope inside. All cards measure 185mm x 132mm.Our great value cards include free standard delivery.Card orders received before 1pm will be dispatched the same working day.Ideal for Birthday.


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I don't laugh at jokes. Not usually. Hence my enduring non-presence at comedy clubs the nation over. I don't dislike actual comedians deliberately doing comedy — lord knows I enjoy 'em on podcasts — but the expectations their contexts set up make me horrifically tense and squirrely. In the presence of a performing stand-up comic, my entire body petrifies into a semi-smiley rictus as I laboriously, mechanically grunt out "laughs," even if I actually find the comedian funny. Despite often enjoying great yuks at authors' readings or more "storytelling"-centric events (such as a RISK! taping or a Mike Daisey monologue, although the latter remains theoretical since you need, like, San Francisco money to see a Mike Daisey monologue), I just can't laugh in situations which, explicitly or implicitly, tell me I'm about to laugh.
How to put into words what does make me... not just laugh, but, in net parlance, ROFL IRL? Sometimes I get nailed not by jokes, per se, but "humor" in a broader, more tonal sense. David Sedaris' turns of phrase score a high hit-to-miss ratio here, but I don't know that I can trot one out meaningfully — though I've got more than a few memorized — without propping up more context than you're going to want to read. (For fellow Sedarites: I think a lot about the way he describes Dupont Charles' "hopeless State of the Union address delivered from an overturned bucket.") That's the more obvious type of thing I laugh at. As for the less obvious type of thing I laugh at, perhaps I can best explain by examples — specifically, by the two funniest things I've read this year.
One of the funniest things I've read this year came in the form of a tweet from Karl Haley, a.k.a Asymmetricon:
After leaving Andersen's Pea Soup this morning, my mom expressed what we've all felt for the last 40 years: "The food is shit."
God, just picture it: a guy and his mom emerge from Andersen's Pea Soup — in the morning, and somehow picturing it in the still-getting-light haze of the early A.M. makes it better — then the mom suddenly turns and says only, "The food is shit." And it bursts the floodgates on four decades of society's pent-up frustration with Andersen's Pea Soup. Andersen's Pea Soup. For a couple weeks now, I've been cracking myself up on the daily with nothing more than a muttered "the food is shit." I actually lobbied Karl to stop locking his tweets — to actively endanger his privacy — so that I could retweet this one.
I've also kept the phrase "killed in a bar when he was only three" in high comedionanistic rotation. Why? Because of one particular response to my staggeringly popular Ask MetaFilter thread about things we've misunderstood all along:
Since he was "killed in a bar when he was only three," I had no idea why there was a whole show about an adult Davy Crockett. Why was a three-year-old in a bar, anyway?
That question — what could a three-year-old have been doing in a bar? — gets right at what I find so funny about bits like these: they raise so many unanswered (or unanswerable) questions. Oh YHWH I'm chuckling too hard to even type this. How could Davy Crockett have become such a beloved character in American legend if all he did was die? At three? In a bar? Why would the modern television industry go so far as to base an entire long-running series around a dead toddler? Did they stage the storyline in some alternate universe of the Davy Crockett mythos where he... just doesn't die in that bar at three, and then goes on to have a rousing, rough-and-tumble frontier life? Above all, why would they want to do that?
(A simple but yet infinitely complex "Why?" ends up being the main question about everything I find hilarious.)
Adam Cadre posted a resonant example of this sort of "humor" — that, at least to my mind, works much better than the genuinely crafted stuff — a few years back:
At the Berkeley Bowl I overheard a mother tell her little daughter that she could get a seaweed snack. The daughter asked, "Can I get two?" and the mother said, no, just one. The little girl replied, sadly, "But I love dem." I don't think a day has gone by since that I have not ended up using that phrase in one context or another. It's all in the delivery.
Soon, "The food is shit," "Killed in a bar at the age of three," and "But I love dem" will all settle into place in my verbal repertoire, to be dispensed in every possible situation despite their lack of obvious jokiness and difficulty to explain on the internet. I've also been getting a lot of mileage lately out of Vera-Ellen's lament from On the Town that she's turned out to be nothing more than a "cooch dancer," but that one's all too easily explained.


text: This blog will take you along the different steps of building a 23 foot dropkeel sailboat. The DIDI 23 is one of the available designs for the amateur builder designed by Dudley Dix. The boat is built as a radius chine trailer sailer from plywood with bulb dropkeel. ABOUT ME I am 64, married, have two adult children and working as engineer for rf techniques at a physical research centre of the Helmholtz Association. I live close to the Elbe river in a suburb of Hamburg, Germany.