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Saturday, March 10, 2007
Face-Lift 291
Guess the Plot
The King's Falcon
1. By day, Homer waddles around the barnyard quacking obnoxiously and eating more cracked corn than is good for him. But by night, he's the feared and mysterious . . . King's Falcon!
2. Princess Kauril of Tarishah leaves her kingdom and becomes Falcon, secret agent working for Queen Sabrina of the neighboring realm. But has Falcon met her match in the iniquitous . . . Lord Mordent?
3. Everyone gathers in a stone hut to play strip Tarot. It's all a scheme to woo the lovely Megan. But how many layers is that wench wearing?! Is that the meddling priest at the door? And who will draw the winner-takes-all King's Falcon?
4. His Majesty could have driven a Jaguar or a Mercedes, so why is he so obsessed with the rusted Ford Falcon that once belonged to Steven King? He claims that it talks to him, but is King George insane, or is an automobile running the kingdom?
5. Raza is the Falcon -- a title given to the king's most trusted spy. She's been in love with the king for years, but their budding relationship cannot grow while the kingdom remains at war. To find happiness, Raza must first find a way to secure peace.
6. It's a little known fact that Elvis Presley liked his little red Ford Falcon better than any other car. But only Marge Taylor knows why -- she lost her virginity in that back seat -- and now she's determined to get home to Tennessee and sit in that car listening to "Love Me Tender" once last time. No matter what the evil nursing home staff say.
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor:
I am writing to you regarding representation for The King's Falcon, a 103,000 word fantasy novel, a story of the struggle between the life we make and the paths others want us to follow.
Princess Kauril of Tarishah leads a double life. Barred from her empty throne until she bears an heir and hoping to avoid power-seeking suitors, Kauril leaves her birthright behind to become "Falcon," the [superhero] agent of Queen Sabrina of Fayette, a neighboring realm. [Wouldn't that make her The Queen's Falcon?] [Not sure it qualifies as a double life if she's given up one life for another.] Now Kauril's identity as Falcon is endangered by Sabrina's latest directive.
Mortally ill, Sabrina pleads with Falcon resume her life as the Princess. Heartbroken and reluctant to reclaim the throne, [Reluctant? She can't reclaim it until she bears an heir, right?] Falcon soon uncovers a threat to Tarishah. Even as she attempts to tie its exploitation [What's exploitation? What's the threat?] to the Administrator of the Regency, Lord Mordent, Falcon must circumvent his attempts to manipulate her into a loveless marriage. [To him?]
Mordent is acquitted of treason [He was trying to get the woman responsible for putting him on trial for treason to marry him? Forgiving guy.] forcing the Princess Kauril to choose between the path she was born to follow and the one she has created. Kauril vows to bring Mordent to justice even if it means she must sacrifice Falcon. ["Sacrifice Falcon," meaning return to her realm, bear an heir and take the throne? How does that help her bring Mordent to justice? "Sacrifice Falcon," meaning stay in Sabrina's realm but take on Mordent as herself rather than as Falcon? Make it clear what her choices entail.]
Thank you for your kind attention to this request.
It peters out at the end. What did Mordent do, who acquitted him, why, and how can Falcon bring him to justice if he's been acquitted?
Why does Sabrina care whether Falcon goes home?
Who's the king? Where's the king? Does the king have his own falcon, or is Falcon the king's and queen's falcon?
It starts off okay, but becomes vague. Falcon discovers something, and she's forced to make a choice that may have consequences. Specific information is needed.
26 comments:
- Anonymous said...
I don't know if this matters, but there is already a book titled King's Falcon (by Paula Fox) as well as a movie.
- Anonymous said...
Okay, so after reading this twice, I'm still confused. I got the part about someone wants her to marry Mr. X but I'm not sure who X is, or what's bad about him, or what is done to get her to agree to the unwanted marriage or what happens if she says no.
I also don't understand why this dreaded arranged marriage issue goes on for the length of a novel about a superspy princess. That sounds more like the troubles that plague old-fashioned swooning princesses. Why is Kauril content to make a career out of spying for the neighboring kingdom? Why can't she swiftly zing a poison dart at ol' Mordent and spend the rest of the book making out with her man of choice and saving her kingdom? - 3/10/07, 6:41 PM
- Anonymous said...
I know a query can't answer every question, but I spent far too much time trying to figure out the logic for why a princess would have to bear an heir before she could take the throne. Assuming she must have a hubby, too, then I could see the kingdom being ensured of having someone in the family on the throne if she should die. But the throne's EMPTY.
Your third paragraph is very unclear as to whether Kauril returns to her princess life under Sabrina's directive. You say "Heartbroken and reluctant to reclaim the throne, *Falcon* soon uncovers a threat to Tarishah" and that "*Falcon* must circumvent his attempts to manipulate her into a loveless marriage." Does this mean that Kauril DOESN'T return as herself to Tarishah and that Mordent wants to marry alter-ego Falcon, not Princess Kauril? The name-swapping dual-identity thing in this 'graph is very confusing. I was thinking the MC returns as the Princess and Mordent wants to marry Kauril because he wants to share her power. But no, you say it's Falcon that Mordent is after. The guy commits treason, then tries to force a nobody who looks remarkably like the woman he's currently holding the throne for into a loveless marriage that would gain him nothing. Huh? I hope it's just that you're using the wrong names to convey what's happening to whom.
Likewise, in the next paragraph, you say, "Kauril vows to bring Mordent to justice..." which seems to answer EE's question, because it's Kauril, not Falcon, vowing to do this, but is that right?
And does Falcon still have a life in Sabrina's realm anyway if Sabrina's about to kick the bucket? Is the question about the life she makes for herself even a question any longer?
I'm sorry. I'm afraid this query left me with a lot of questions, and not the good kind like "What happens next?" and "Can you send the first three chapters for me to read."
Carolina wren, I think the title choice in the end is out of the author's hands anyway.
Ooh, GTP #5 was SO close! - 3/10/07, 7:12 PM
- Maggie Stiefvater said...
After reading it twice I am definitely still confused. Is Sabrina the main character? Or the Princess turned Falcon turned . . wait, how is she barred from a throne and why doesn't Sabrina want her there?
I think this falls back on the ol' chestnut that if you can't summarize your plot in a single sentence, you need to rethink your novel.
I thought GTP #5 sounded like a good one. The author should steal that one and use it instead. ;) - 3/10/07, 10:43 PM
- Stacia said...
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who didn't understand this one.
- Anonymous said...
Mortally ill, Sabrina pleads with Falcon TO resume her life as the Princess. (You left out the "to")
- Blogless Troll said...
I thought this was fantasy. Where're all the centaurs and unicorns and stuff?
- Unknown said...
Thanks for all the comments and thank you EE for all the work.
I thought the Guess the Plots were great. GTP # 1 made me laugh. GTP # 5 was great.
I was afraid I'd stripped too much of the plot out to get it down to one page. I can't believe I deleted the King references. ACK!!! There are two King's (Sabrina's husband and Mordent) and one issue is which King's Falcon is she going to be.
Falcon is the MC.
Pheonix and Anonymous:
There's a regency that prevents her from taking the throne until she marries and bears an heir. Until she does, Sabrina's child stands to inherit Tarishah and King Jurriaan, Sabrina's husband, rules it. If Falcon/Kauril marries Jurriaan then Sabrina's son will still inherit.
So Mr. X is Jurriaan.
Sabrina wants Falcon on the throne just not in a way that will challenge her son's claim hence the marriage to Jurriaan.
If she doesn't marry someone soon, Mordent keeps running her kingdom because Jurriaan doesn't care about it.
The dreaded marriage runs through the plot because everyone is trying to get her married off and she doesn't want to give up her life as Falcon. She can continue as Falcon even if Sabrina dies. She stays "Falcon" for the length of the story.
She can't just dart Mordent because she can't prove he's the bad guy.
Mordent knows who she really is. He needs to marry her because she is the Princess. He is also the king of a neighboring realm but because he's been in hiding for almost 30 years no one else knows this.
Blogless Troll:
No centaurs, just magic.
Back to the drafting table. - 3/12/07, 11:57 AM
- Unknown said...
I've revised the query based on the comments here and at Hatrack.com. Can you please ask the minions to take the red pen (or bucket of ink) to it again? Thank you.
Protecting your kingdom can make you a traitor.
Falcon is the outcast princess of Tarishah barred from claiming her empty throne until she marries and bears an heir. Content to serve, she becomes the agent of Queen Sabrina of Fayette and avoids personal entanglement in the political gambits and romantic liaisons she reports. Now, however, detachment is a luxury Falcon can't afford. Mortally ill, Sabrina demands that Falcon choose King Jurriaan, Sabrina's soon to be widower, as her consort. To placate Sabrina, Falcon agrees to get to know Jurriaan by acting as his informant.
But there is more at stake than succession. Forced into hiding by civil war, Lord Mordent, the King's First advisor and a mage, is secretly the sole heir of Sabbatus, a neighboring realm. He compels Jurriaan to delegate responsibility for Tarishah to him. Creating false tax reports, Mordent plunders Tarishah to rebuild Sabbatus. Discovering that Falcon is the elusive Tarish princess, he endeavors to seduce her into marrying him. Success secures his control over Tarishah. Failure requires her assassination.
Falcon must avoid being manipulated into marriage and protect Tarishah from the ambitions of Sabbatus. To stop the exploitation of Tarishah until she can regain her throne, Falcon leads a group of Tarishah rebels into a civil war that could tear her kingdom apart. - 6/5/07, 6:48 PM
- Anonymous said...
I'm still confused. I think you will soon receive some helpful suggestions, but they won't be from me. Sorry. Here's one nit:
Success secures his control over Tarishah. Failure requires her assassination.
I think "success will secure...Tarishah; failure will release his wrath.
Ok, I will try to state your plot (as I understand it) in one sentence.
A princess, barred from the Throne of Tarishah until she marries and produces an heir, assumes a secret identity, is pursued by two seemingly undesireable rival Kings who foment unrest in her kingdom, leads a faithful contingent of her subjects into fierce battle all the while tormented by her own need to choose between her royal heritage and her alter-ego, Falcon.
Is a "mage" a well-known entity in the genre, like a wraith?
Good Luck. - 6/5/07, 9:46 PM
- Wonderwood said...
I think the revised version is a huge improvement. Congratulations on your persistence and willingness to learn!
- Anonymous said...
ME: Mage, another word for magician or wizard, is in the dictionary.
- Dave Fragments said...
You let some of the details get in the way of the synopsis portion of the query. It's perfectly natural thing to do because you're close to the story and we're not.
For instance, "Forced into hiding by civil war, Lord Mordent, the King's First advisor and a mage, is secretly the sole heir of Sabbatus, a neighboring realm. He compels Jurriaan to delegate responsibility for Tarishah to him. Creating false tax reports, Mordent plunders Tarishah to rebuild Sabbatus."
Try something clearer: "First advisor to King Jurrian, Lord Mordent is using his influence to steal money from the treasury and rebuild the neighboring kingdom of Sabbatus."
Do you see how that simpler version sets up the statement that "Discovering that Falcon is the elusive Tarish princess, he endeavors to seduce her into marrying him in order to seal his dominion over the two kingdoms. His failure requires her assassination."
Now I'm puzzled about Mordent- he was ruler deposed or installed in a civil war in Sabbatus... It might not be necessary to reveal that in the query. - 6/5/07, 10:45 PM
- Sylvia said...
Hmm, you have a tendency to use a clause and then a comma before making your statement proper.
"Xed into Y, A does B."
I'd consider dropping the first half of the phrase to make it stronger. I've marked the bits I would take out in italics, I hope that is readable. In all cases, I think your main statement encompasses the information, so you are giving it twice (throne implies queen, widower implies death)
Falcon is the outcast princess of Tarishah barred from claiming her empty throne until she marries and bears an heir. Content to serve, Sshe becomes the agent of Queen Sabrina of Fayette and avoids personal entanglement in the political gambits and romantic liaisons she reports. Now, however, detachment is a luxury Falcon can't afford. Mortally ill, Sabrina demands that Falcon choose King Jurriaan, Sabrina's soon to be widower, as her consort. To placate Sabrina, Falcon agrees to get to know Jurriaan by acting as his informant. - 6/6/07, 5:01 AM
- Anonymous said...
This should be my genre, but your plot structure seems to have flaws at the most fundamental levels. This is trying to be a fantasy adventure but the crux of your premise seems illogical and is too much about a celibate person's womb. Your writing seems to be improving but I don't envision this plot being competitive in a commercial setting no matter how you dress it.
- writtenwyrdd said...
The situation is still cloudy. First, Falcon goes to Fayette, which implies possible disloyalty/betrayal of her homeland. Wouldn't they keep her close as the heir in waiting until she bears a child? Wouldnt' a state marriage be foisted upon her willy nilly?
Second, Falcon agrees to be a spy, discovers a plot against her homeland? A bit too convenient. The explanation may by wonderfully portrayed in the book, but as presented in the letter, it is too glib and makes you sound like you have taken the Idiot Plot route, where your characters are idiots and only act to suit your convenience. (This makes your book sound like a Sims game.)
Third, you give us lots of things Falcon does but you do not get us inside her head. We need a bit about her motivations and why she left home, why she chooses to serve a probable rival of her land, etc. All you tell us is that she is "content to serve." Thumbs down on that. Too glib, weak explanation and even weaker motivation. This makes me also wonder if your plot has some serious basic problems. YOu cannot just have your characters do what you want because you want it; you need to have them behave like rational beings in their culture and station would behave. That means something causes her to leave, and not just being content to serve.
What it comes down to (IMO) is that the story is missing from this letter. The story is not just the events, but the meanings behind those events, too. Put yourself in your character's shoes and feel what she feels. Tell us what motivates her, and tell us the ending-- or at least hint at the resolution. - 6/6/07, 9:27 AM
- Anonymous said...
Yes, me, "mage" will be a familiar term to anyone who reads fantasy (says she who uses the term in her own upcoming query).
Author, I'm sorry. I'm still not getting some of this. What civil war has forced Mordent into hiding? (And if Falcon is fomenting another civil war against Mordent, does that make it a world war?) And how did acting as the King's First advisor make it onto the list of acceptable hiding places? Kind of hard to hide when you're in the public eye. Especially when you're royalty. Someone's bound to notice.
If Mordent is a mage, does that mean he's compelling Juriaan through magic to delegate Tarishah to him? While that makes more sense than any other reason I can think of, why doesn't he simply compel Falcon to marry him? He's certainly not one to insist she love him for love's sake. If he's not using magic to compel Juriaan, then why is he a mage?
It's also not clear in the query what the relationship of Jurriaan is to the throne of Tarishah. If he can put Mordent in charge of Tarishah, then he must be the king. Why doesn't he put Falcon on the throne? Why is Falcon outcast? You don't have to be a pariah even if you can't rightfully sit on the throne just yet.
Okay, so much for the "I'm confused" questions. Now, look at your paragraphs. How many pages of your book does the second paragraph cover? What happens in those pages? Is there anything exciting happening? This is genre fiction. I want some action! Same for your third paragraph. Except for sleaze trying to seduce and a bit of white collar crime, not much going on. How far are we now into the book?
Then here comes the last paragraph, which I hope is a good chunk of your story, but you have only two sentences devoted to it. And you're repeating yourself in them: "protect Tarishah from the ambitions of..." and "stop the exploitation of Tarishah" say pretty much the same thing.
Sorry, but I think one more pass on this is warranted... - 6/6/07, 10:24 AM
- Unknown said...
Thanks again for all the comments.
Thinking about the comments from Dave, aninymous and writtenwyrrd -
Should I add:
1) The regency that prevents her from claiming the throne bars arranged marrages and has an alternate plan for power sucession?
2) She's been a spy for 14 years at this point?
ME nailed the plot in his one sentance.
Thanks for the streamlining tips Dave and Sylvia. - 6/6/07, 10:34 AM
- writtenwyrdd said...
You do not need to spell it out; that would probably make the letter too awkward. What you might do is word the situation in such a way that we know the reasons as well as the action.
"The regency that prevents her from claiming the throne bars arranged marrages and has an alternate plan for power sucession?"
Might be reworded to something like:
Fleeing a plot on her life by the mage Jurrian, Princess Falcon deserts her rightful heritage and becomes a retainer to the queen of a neighboring land.
We don't have to know the details, just the dramatic gist. (And I know you don't mention any plot on her life, but something has to make her run or this doesn't make any sense.) - 6/6/07, 10:59 AM
- writtenwyrdd said...
PS...Is Jurrian the regent to Falcon's throne? If so, then he's the Evil Adversary, the constant which her actions/reactions reflect. You might want to make that more clear, because it took three readings to get it for me, and I'm not usually quite that dense.
- Deborah K. White said...
Kings_Falcon, how in the world did we both end up writing stories about queen's leading the rebels among their people against evil lords in their kingdom? Boggles the mind.
In the second paragraph, you start one sentence with " Creating..." and the next with "Discovering..." Maybe make the second one "When he discovers that..." or some such.
While this make the clearest summary so far, you lose momentum as you go along. As everyone told me, cutting it will help keep the pace up. It would also help to use more active words for Falcon. So far, it sounds like she avoids conflict: she leaves her homeland when they won't make her queen instead of fighting for it, she placates her boss, etc. It's probably fine in the book, but you need to try to make her sound more 'fighting spirit heroic' in the query.
phoenix asked some good questions about Mordent. Frankly, I think that you can lose most of his paragraph for the query.
This example isn't that good, but how about something like:
Protecting your kingdom can make you a traitor.
Falcon is barred from claiming her empty throne until she marries and bears an heir. She has no interest in marriage, so she becomes the spy of Queen Sabrina of Fayette to avoid the many men who want to court her. When Sabrina falls mortally ill, she demands that Falcon choose King Jurriaan as her consort after her death. Falcon reclutantly agrees to get to know Jurriaan by acting as his informant.
There is more at stake than succession. Lord Mordent, the King's First advisor, has been using his magic to compel Jurriaan to delegate responsibility for Tarishah to him and has been stealing money from Tarishah to further his own ends. When he discovers that Falcon is the elusive Tarish princess, he attempts to seduce her in the hopes of becoming her consort and securing his control over Tarishah. If she refuses, he plans to assassinate her.
Falcon rejects both of her suiters and attempts to stop the exploitation of Tarishah. The only way to do this is for Falcon to lead a group of Tarishah rebels into a civil war that could tear her kingdom apart. - 6/6/07, 12:48 PM
- Author said...
So this has been a while. In the intervening - ahm- 2 years, EE's editing the story - ahm - twice (thank you EE and Brenda Novak). Based on EE's fairly wonderful suggestions, I was able to collapse the second "book" into the first and keep a reasonable word count. Now it's really ready to shop around for a home and so, I need Minion assistance on the revised query.
Falcon, the disinherited princess of Tarishah, is the agent of a foreign king. She avoids personal entanglement in the political gambits and romantic liaisons she reports. Then she's asked to investigate possible abuses of the Tarish regency. The maze of intrigue, sorcery and dual identities draws her ever closer to her long abandoned throne.
Mordent, the exiled mage sovereign of a neighboring warrior kingdom and the Tarish Administrator, secretly plunders its treasury to rebuild his land. Discovering that Falcon is the elusive Tarish princess, he attempts to seal his dominion over the two realms by seducing Falcon with romance and a bit of magical persuasion. Failure requires her assassination.
Falcon flees to Tarishah where she discovers Mordent's treachery. But she cannot break his magical control over the king. War is imminent. Left with few options, Falcon fights in the rebellion against the king she serves. Now she must assume the responsibility she's tried so hard to avoid before war destroys Tarishah or Mordent kills her.
- Evil Editor said...
This feels very dry, like a summary from Sergeant Joe Friday. It needs life.
Changing "Then" to "But when" in paragraph one, and blending in the next sentence is a possible help, alerting us to conflict and providing better transition between ideas. - 11/24/09, 7:23 PM
- Blue Mouse said...
I suggest you lead off with GTP #2.
- _*rachel*_ said...
I'm a bit confused about who's from which kingdom and staying where, just reading the new query.
- batgirl said...
Here's my shot at a more dramatic version, for what it's worth:
Falcon, disinherited princess of Tarishah, takes service as the (secret? be specific, or I'll be thinking of real estate) agent of neighboring king Juriaan. Sifting through political and romantic intrigue, she never lets it get personal--until she's ordered to find the truth about corruption in the Tarish regency. As she struggles through the maze of intrigue, sorcery and dual identities, she comes inescapably to her long abandoned throne, and the man who stands behind it.
Mordent, the Regent of Tarishah, secretly plunders its treasury to rebuild the kingdom he was exiled from, hoping to return and claim it. When he discover that Falcon is the elusive Tarish princess, he sees a way to claim two kingdoms. He will use his magic to seduce Falcon and marry her. If she refuses him, he'll have her killed.
Falcon turns to King Juriaan, but finds him under Mordent's spell. War is imminent.(give that another sentence - war between who and who?) Falcon's only path to freedom is to join the rebellion against the king she serves. To save herself--to save her kingdom--she must claim the throne of Tarishah. - 11/30/09, 7:01 PM


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July 11, 2003
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Service Level Agreement Kensoft.net will make every effort to provide each customer with 99.7% uptime. Kensoft.net has a refund policy of discounting 5% for each 1/2 hour of downtime per month. "Uptime" and "Downtime" is recorded and calculated on a monthly basis. This does not include scheduled downtime for weekly server/network maintenance (usually less than 10 minutes total and usually scheduled for Sundays, 9:00AM EST). This also does not include end-user internet connection issues or general internet congestion. Refunds and overall liability will not exceed one month's service during the month of the outage. What Kensoft.net supports - the following areas are covered under the Kensoft.net support policy: Connectivity to the Kensoft.net Service - talking/instructing the end-user through configuring and connecting to the Kensoft.net e-mail server(s) and receiving/sending e-mail DNS Related Issues What Kensoft.net does not explicitly support - the following areas are handled on a "best efforts" basis: Configuration of customer firewall software and/or hardware that could affect connectivity to the Kensoft.net service Configuration of customer antivirus software (Norton Antivirus 2003, etc.) that could affect connectivity to the Kensoft.net service Issues related to customer's connection to the Internet. (i.e. T1, Cable Modem, DSL Modem, Dial-Up accounts, etc.) Issues related to other e-mail accounts or personal folders (non-Kensoft.net) configured within customers Microsoft Outlook software Security and Reliability The security and reliability of the Kensoft.net e-mail and collaboration service is our highest priority. Kensoft.net works hard to run a solid, hassle-free service. However, there are times when we cannot guarantee 100% reliability: Internet congestion Automatic System Updates - Kensoft.net's servers regularly update themselves with patches and bug fixes. Occasionally, these patches/fixes can affect our servers in an unexpected, detrimental way. Many of these patches/fixes are done automatically and cannot be tested prior to their implementation. Terrorist Attack Acts of God Virus/Worm/Denial of Service Attack You specifically agree that Kensoft.net cannot be held liable for any missing data, corrupted data, incorrect transmission of data, failure to provide service, delay of service provision or anything in any way connected to the Kensoft.net service beyond the cost of service provided. Cumulative liability cannot exceed the total monthly service fee equal to the prior one month of service. Transmission of Data Kensoft.net is not responsible for any unauthorized access or modification of your data stored by or transmitted via the Kensoft.net service You also specifically agree that Kensoft.net is not responsible or liable for any content sent using or received from the Kensoft.net service including that which may be illegal, obscene, defamatory, threatening or that may violate any trademark or copyright. Outgoing Bulk / Junk / spam Mail Policy Sending spam (Unsolicited Junk Mail sent to anonymous recipients) through Kensoft.net will not be tolerated. Kensoft.net has the right to terminate or refuse mail service to anyone abusing Kensoft.net services. Kensoft.net reserves the right to immediately discontinue service to anyone violating this rule. Kensoft.net defines "spaming" as the sending of bulk e-mails, or the sending of e-mail to users that have not explicitly asked to receive the senders message. Kensoft.net will not be held responsible if your domain name is blocked by internet service providers (ISPs) for sending spam/bulk e-mails. We reserve the right to suspend or cancel Kensoft.net accounts that send bulk or unwanted junk mail (spam). Hosting resellers should note that if an account is suspended for breaching Kensoft.net Terms or AUP and they re-enable that account, it will result in their reseller account being suspended. Incoming Bulk / Junk (Spam) Mail Policy Kensoft.net offers various services (add-ons) to help prevent incoming spam. These extra services may require an additional monthly fee and may have separate end-user agreements. Kensoft.net can not be responsible for filtering out unwanted/offensive content sent to your Kensoft.net account or that may fill your Kensoft.net account. Kensoft.net Virus Policy The Kensoft.net service provides virus protection against incoming e-mail viruses sent to your Kensoft.net addresses. All incoming messages to your Kensoft.net domain are scanned. It is our policy to delete infected messages prior to delivery to your Kensoft.net mailbox. Kensoft.net virus protection uses the latest technologies to help ensure your protection. Our server software (virus patterns) is updated every hour. Virus protection is an ongoing process and it's impossible to protect against 100% of the virus threats and we therefore cannot be held responsible for new viruses that are not detected by our scanning software. End-users are responsible for protecting their computers and ensuring they are virus-free. We recommend that each end-user run a local anti-virus software package on their PC for additional protection. Kensoft.net will not be held responsible if your domain name is blocked by internet service providers (ISPs) for sending virus-infected e-mails. Most viruses are transmitted by e-mail, but not all. If your e-mail software is connected to another e-mail service other than Kensoft.net, it is possible that virus-infected e-mail could be pulled into your Kensoft.net account. Kensoft.net cannot be held responsible for virus-infected e-mail originally sent to e-mail services outside of Kensoft.net. Passwords It is the end-user's responsibility to keep his/her password confidential, and to change the password on a regular basis. Kensoft.net is not responsible for any data losses or security issues due to stolen passwords. Kensoft.net recommends that you use passwords that contain numbers and symbols in order to prevent unauthorized users from guessing commonly-used choices (i.e. '12345', 'password', etc.). Kensoft.net support does not have access to viewing existing passwords. For security reasons, Kensoft.net support can only reset passwords. Kensoft.net will not under any circumstances give a password to an enduser over the phone or via email. Cancelled Accounts Upon cancellation, your Kensoft.net e-mail and contact data located on Kensoft.net's servers may no longer be available. It is the end-user's responsibility to retrieve this data prior to the request for cancellation of the service. Kensoft.net cannot guarantee retrieval of data once an account is cancelled. Money Back Guarantee Money back guarantee is granted upon providing the reasons for the request and within the period of 30 days from the account activation, only reasons where kensoft.Net was the source of the problem will be granted the complete money back guarantee, Reasons related to user lack of knowledge to use the system or client connectivity issues are not subject to money back guarantee, in case of refund request with no reason, an amount varaying between $5-$20 might be penalized on the client because he is cancelling with no valid reason. Domain name prices, and SSL certificates are none refundable, because you become the owner of them. Backups Full backups of shared server are made weekly, and backups of new/changed data made nightly. No guarantees are made of any kind, either expressed or implied, as to the integrity of these backups. Backups are made for critical server restoration purposes only. It is the clients' responsibility to maintain local copies of their web content, email and database data. If loss of data occurs due to an error of Kensoft.net, Kensoft.net will attempt to recover the data at no charge to the client. Should you require data be restored, Kensoft.net will charge a minimum of $25/hour for restoration. Control panel settings cannot be restored. Only end-user webcontent and mail can be restored. Acceptable Use Policy: Use of Kensoft.net's services constitute acceptance and agreement to Kensoft.net's AUP as well as Kensoft.net's TOS (Terms of Service) Kensoft.net supports the uncensored flow of information and ideas over the Internet medium and does not actively monitor subscriber activity under normal circumstances. Moreover, we do not exercise editorial control over the content of any web site, e-mail transmission, newsgroup, or other material created or accessible over or through the services, except for certain proprietary Web sites. However, in accordance with our TOS (Terms of Service), we may remove, or block access to any materials that, in our sole discretion, may be illegal, may subject us to liability, or which may violate this AUP. Kensoft.net may cooperate with legal authorities and/or third parties in the investigation of any suspected or alleged crime or civil wrongdoing. Your violation of this AUP may result in the suspension or immediate termination of your Kensoft.net account or contract WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE. Kensoft.net stresses the following points: Ensure reliable service to our customers Ensure security and privacy of our systems and network, as well as the networks and systems of others Comply with existing laws Maintain our reputation as a responsible service provider Encourage responsible use of the Internet and discourage activities which reduce the usability and value of Internet services Preserve the value of Internet resources as a conduit for free expression and exchange of information Preserve the privacy and security of individual users Unacceptable activities: Spamming (sending unsolicited e-mail to those with which the customer has no existing relationship). We have a ZERO TOLERANCE spam policy. Sending bulk e-mail from a shared webserver. Relaying bulk e-mail through the Kensoft.net mail servers Hosting of spam resources. These include and are not limited to; literature promoting spamming, tools or resources for spamming, linking to spamming resources. Posting off-topic advertising in newsgroups/Usenet Spoofing (using a return e-mail address which is not the valid reply address of the sender or sending an e-mail message which does not contain enough information to enable the recipient to identify the party who is really sending the message) Passive spamming Kensoft.net by spamming from some other source Trolling (posting controversial messages in newsgroups to generate responses) Mail bombing (inundating a user with e-mail without any serious intent to correspond) Proxy server - running proxy servers on the Kensoft.net network is explicitly prohibited Subscribing someone else to an electronic mailing list without that person's permission. Distribution of mass e-mailing programs is also prohibited. All recipients on a mailing list must have personally subscribed through a 'confirmed opt-in process*'. Mailing lists may not be used to distribute unsolicited e-mail. Any customer repeatedly "mail bombed" or that attracts such behavior will be asked to leave. A message is considered unsolicited if it is posted in violation of a newsgroup charter or sent to a recipient who has not requested the message. Making an e-mail address available to the public does not constitute a request to receive messages. Unsolicited E-mail / spam Sending unsolicited mail messages, including, without limitation, commercial advertising and informational announcements is expressly prohibited. A user shall not use another site's mail server to relay mail without the express permission of the site or distributing, advertising or promoting software or services that have the primary purpose of encouraging or facilitating unsolicited e-mail or spam. A user shall not store or serve content as a component of any unsolicited e-mail or spam. This includes the hosting of landing-pages for any unsolicited e-mail or spam. Complaints, including, but not limited to, complaints sent directly to Webosting.net, Inc or an upsteam provider, listings on SpamCop, SPEWS, SBL, OpenRBL or any of the 'spam-watch' sites shall serve as sufficient grounds for an immediate investigation of client activity. It is contrary to Kensoft.net, Inc. policy for customers to use our servers or network to effect or participate in any of the following activities: To post to any Usenet or other newsgroup, forum, e-mail mailing list or other similar group or list articles which are off-topic according to the charter or other owner-published FAQ or description of the group or list; To send unsolicited e-mail; To engage in any of the foregoing activities using the service of another provider, but channeling such activities through a Kensoft.net, Inc. provided server, or using a Kensoft.net, Inc. provided server or bandwidth as a mail-drop or for serving content for messages or for responses; To falsify user information provided to Kensoft.net, Inc. or to other users of the service in connection with use of a Kensoft.net, Inc. service. To send e-mail with through our e-mail servers where the e-mail address does not explicity reside on the Kensoft.net mail servers. HSphere customers: Mailing lists Mailing lists may only be hosted within your HSphere account and you are required to use the 'confirmed opt-in' method available within the configuration settings for the list. Maintaining a list external to HSphere, be it within your web hosting space, on your own PC, or any other server, and then using the Kensoft.net mail servers to relay that mail is viewed as a serious breach. Mail from webservers You may not send any form of bulk e-mail from the webservers. If you have a list it must be hosted in within your HSphere account. Individual e-mails to 'clients' or 'members' of a website may not be spooled for delivery. This would qualify them as bulk e-mail. When Kensoft.net, Inc. becomes aware of an alleged violation of its Acceptable Use Policy, Kensoft.net, Inc. will initiate an investigation (within 24-48 hours). During the investigation Kensoft.net, Inc. may restrict Customer's access in order to prevent further possible unauthorized activity. If the Customer is found in violation of our spam policy or AUP, Kensoft.net Inc. may, at its sole discretion, restrict, suspend, or terminate Customer's account and/or pursue other civil remedies. Also, Kensoft.net, Inc. reserves the right to pursue civil remedies for any costs associated with the investigation of a substantiated policy violation. If such violation is a criminal offense, Kensoft.net, Inc. will notify the appropriate law enforcement department of such violation. Kensoft.net, Inc. does not issue service credits for any outages incurred through service disablement resulting from Policy violations, or outages incurred during investigations of possible violations. The Customer shall be held liable for any and all costs incurred by Kensoft.net, Inc. as a result of the customer's violation of these terms and conditions. This is including, but is not limited to, attorney fees and costs resulting from Postmaster responses to complaints from and the cleanup of unsolicited mailings and/or unauthorized bulk mailings and/or news server violations. First violations will result in a Cleanup Fee of $50 per complaint and the customers account will be reviewed for possible immediate termination. A second violation will result in Cleanup Fee of $100 per complaint and immediate termination of the customers account. A 'Complaint' can be defined as follows: An e-mail complaint sent directly to Kensoft.net, Inc., Webgemshosting.net, Hostunix.com, or Wholesalecolo.com An e-mail complaint sent directly to an upstream provider or carrier A 'SpamCop' listing A SPEWS listing An SBL listing An OpenRBL listing A listing on any e-mail 'block list ' which may result in the interruption of service to the Kensoft.net network The Customer who violates this policy agrees to also pay Investigation Fees of no more than $125 per hour that Kensoft.net Inc. personnel must spend to investigate any violations in addition to the above-mentioned Cleanup Fees. Decisions regarding the termination or suspension of an account are final. Kensoft.net, Inc. will not enter into any negotiation regarding suspension or termination of an account or contract for breach of our AUP or Terms of Service. Upon termination of an account or contract the outstanding balance of that contract or account will immediately become due. As a member of our network community, you must use your Internet access responsibly. If you have any questions regarding this policy, please contact us at email@example.com. Violations of Acceptable Use Policy The following constitute violations of this AUP: Illegal use: Kensoft.net's services may not be used for illegal purposes, or in support of illegal activities. Kensoft.net reserves the right to cooperate with legal authorities and/or injured third parties in the investigation of any suspected crime or civil wrongdoing. Spamming or sending unsolicited E-mail: See "Unsolicited E-mail / spam" above. Harm to minors: Use of the Kensoft.net's services to harm, or attempt to harm, minors in any way, including, but not limited to child pornography. Violations of the Child Protection Act may be reported to the U.S. Customs Agency at 1-800-BEALERT Threats: Use of the Kensoft.net's services for transmitting any material (by e-mail, uploading, posting or otherwise) that threatens or encourages bodily harm or destruction of property. Harassment: Use of the Kensoft.net's services to transmit any material (by e-mail, uploading, posting or otherwise) that harasses another. Fraudulent activity: Use of Kensoft.net service to make fraudulent offers to sell or buy products, items, or services, or to advance any type of financial scam such as "pyramid schemes," "ponzi schemes," and "chain letters." Hacking/Cracking: Kensoft.net, Inc. reserves the right to report illegal activities to any and all regulatory, administrative, and/or governmental authorities for prosecution. The following examples of unacceptable behavior are non-exclusive, and are provided for guidance purposes. If you are unsure if your actions will be a violation of our policies please contact email@example.com. Server broadcast messages or any message sent on an intrusive basis to any directly or indirectly attached network. Attempt to circumvent any user authentication or security of host, network, or account. Accessing data not intended for user. Probing the security of any network. Spawning dozens of processes. Port scans, ping floods, packet spoofing, webbots, forging router information, Denial of Service attacks, sniffers, flooding, spoofing, ping bombing, smurfs, winnuke, land, teardrop. Promulgation of viruses. IRC bots such as eggdrop or BitchX. Any activity, whether or not the intrusion results in the corruption or loss of data, will be investigated and proper action taken. The presence of any of these programs, whether or not run, will result in action against the user including suspension or termination. 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Copyright or trademark infringement: Use of the Kensoft.net service to transmit any material (by e-mail, uploading, posting or otherwise) that infringes any copyright, trademark, patent, trade secret or other proprietary rights of any third party, including, but not limited to, the unauthorized copying of copyrighted material, the digitization and distribution of photographs from magazines, books, or other copyrighted sources, and the unauthorized transmittal of copyrighted software. Collection of personal data: Use of the Kensoft.net services to collect, or attempt to collect, personal information about third parties without their knowledge or consent. Abuse of the law Kensoft.net's services may be used for lawful purposes only. Illegality includes but is not limited to: drug dealing; attempting without authorization to access a computer system; pirating (distributing copyrighted material in violation of copyright law, specifically MP3s, MPEG's, ROMs, and ROM emulators); gambling; schemes to defraud; trafficking in obscene material; sending a message or having content that is obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, or indecent with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass another person; threatening bodily harm or damage to individuals or groups; violating U.S. export restrictions; stalking; or violating other state or federal law such as the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, or the Economic Espionage Act. Linking to illegal material is also prohibited. Copyright Infringement - Software Piracy Policy The Kensoft.net network may only be used for lawful purposes. Transmission, distribution, or storage of any information, data or material in violation of United States or state regulation or law, or by the common law, is prohibited. This includes, but is not limited to, material protected by copyright, trademark, trade secret, or other intellectual property rights. Making unauthorized copies of software is a violation of the law, no matter how many copies you are making. If you copy, distribute or install the software in ways that the license does not allow, you are violating federal copyright law. If caught with pirated software, you or your company may be liable under both civil and criminal law, and you may be fined up to $250,000 and/or receive up to 5 years in jail. Network disruptions and unfriendly activity: Use of the Kensoft.net service for any activity which affects the ability of other people or systems to use Kensoft.net Services or the Internet. This includes "denial of service" (DoS) attacks against another network host or individual user. Interference with or disruption of other network users, services or equipment is prohibited. It is the Member's responsibility to ensure that their network is configured in a secure manner. A Subscriber may not, through action or inaction, allow others to use their network for illegal or inappropriate actions. A Subscriber may not permit their network, through action or inaction, to be configured in such a way that gives a third party the capability to use their network in an illegal or inappropriate manner. Unauthorized entry and/or use of another company and/or individual's computer system will result in immediate account termination. Kensoft.net will not tolerate any subscriber attempting to access the accounts of others, or penetrate security measures of other systems, whether or not the intrusion results in corruption or loss of data. 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text:
It's Popeye the Sailor Man!
"Double-crossin' Ja-pansies!"
During the 1930s and 1940s, cartoons were serious business. While they have garnered the reputation over the years of being just for kids, cartoons were shown during evening shows down at the Bijou in between the newsreels and the main feature. Cartoons such as Popeye were directed at adults, not just children. Many servicemen had fond memories of watching Walt Disney's "Dumbo" before shipping out, for instance. Disney, incidentally, also produced cartoons to aid the war effort which many now would consider offensive. The Office of War Information coordinated these efforts and funded them - in fact, the money received helped to keep Walt Disney studios running after the financial disasters of Pinocchio and Fantasia.
The Popeye franchise was fertile ground for pro-American propaganda due to the nature of the character. Invariably, Popeye gets beat up by the "yeller" enemy - just like the US Navy fleet at Pearl Harbor - and then eats his spinach and comes roaring back - just like Admirals Halsey and Nimitz.
Those were different times, before the age of political correctness. Thus, stereotypes were rude and crude. The Japanese are portrayed as buck-toothed and wearing glasses. They also play on stereotypes of politeness masking evil intentions, conveying a sense of betrayal and deviousness about how the war began. The Japanese also were crafting anti-American cartoons about which I have posted previously, and long before American studios took up the theme, so this was not a one-way street. It is just the way it was.
Remembering these cartoons is important because it helps to better understand the time period. Posting or watching them does not mean that we subscribe to anything in them. In fact, viewing them now is a good lesson in how far we have come. However, these cartoons are likely to offend some viewers. Discretion is advised.
"You're a Sap" was a Paramount one-reeler in which Popeye defeats a Japanese battleship. Famous Studios had taken over the Popeye franchise from Fleischer Studios. Since there is no need for standard villains, and the interests to be protected are a given, Bluto and Olive Oyl are unnecessary and thus absent. The cartoon is based on a popular song of the era written by James Cavanaugh, John Redmond, and Nat Simon. The director is Dan Gordon, the animation is by Jim Tyer and George Germanetti, and Popeye is voiced by Jack Mercer. The release date, interestingly enough, was 7 August 1942 - the very day that US Marines waded ashore on Guadalcanal to begin the reconquest of the Pacific. Talk about fortuitous timing!
In "Scrap the Japanese," Popeye redeems himself by defeating some Japanese sailors. The Paramount one-reeler, also created by Famous Studios, is directed by Seymour Kneitel, with animation by Tom Johnson and Ben Solomon. Jack Mercer once again does the voices, not that Popeye has much to say. This short was released on 20 November 1942, shortly after the Naval Battle of Guadalcanal in which a Japanese battleship, the Kirishima, was sunk. This cartoon would have been especially enjoyable to audiences of the day due to the first news from the war that the tide really was turning in the Pacific.


text:
Zombos Says: Fair
After the promising opening moments of James McTiegue's The Raven are spent with anxious constables rushing to find slashed bodies in a locked room, and the entrance of Inspector Fields (Luke Evans), who approaches the conundrum like Auguste Dupin, John Cusack's Edgar Allan Poe chews the scenery with his superficial temper tantrums and clumsy gyrations, pulled by contrivance instead of subtextual motivations. For god's sake, didn't Cusack and the writers know Poe was a tortured soul with layers of spiritual complexity? Where's the empty pit of isolation and the breadth of despair he suffered through his boozing and melancholy? Yelling the word "f*ck" is not a suitable drama substitute. If only the real Poe could have lent a hand. I'm sure his dialog would have been richer and more sensible, and his suspense would have been palpable as well as plausible.
Plausibility is a good place to start since this movie adds little of it to tie its sensational events together. A wonderful premise brimming with potential limps instead from indecisive contextual stability as it purloins stock slasher and serial killer tidbits, piecemeal, without understanding their cumulative effect. It's almost like Saw in gruesomeness scale–the strikingly gory pendulum slice and dice on the rotund Rufus Griswold (John Warnaby)–then restrains its visual assault like Horrors of the Black Museum, then jumps from left to right to be similar to Se7en's broader cat and mouse conceit. Each staged execution of Poe's devilish demises by the villain is handled like a fast-food order without condiments, even if imaginatively far-fetched clues propel Poe and Fields one step closer to finding who that killer is and his motive; both of which appear on script cue out of thin air for the denoument's wrap-up, without any explicit or implied discernment along the way to prepare us for the revelation. It just happens.
Leading up to this, Poe rants, raves, throws his ego all around, sulks, and looks for his next drink–until his mind clears enough to recognize the clues being left behind; Fields, emotionless, analytical, dissects the problem methodically until he develops brain freeze, allowing Poe's now clear mind to take the lead; the blustery Captain Hamilton (Brendan Gleeson) hates Poe–who wants to marry Hamilton's daughter–until the captain becomes conciliatory and friend to Poe to help solve anothe clue, even though it's Poe's stories that have buried his daughter alive and all of them desperately trying to find her. Hamilton's daughter Emily (Alice Eve) loves Poe, but aside from an out of place allusion about him giving good head, made during an overly long and lifeless romantic interlude, why she would like a destitute, alcoholic, and egotistical ass such as Poe is portrayed is not clear. Her wispy and cold presence in every scene blends into the upholstery much of the time, so unless Poe is infatuated with sitting on her, I'm at a loss to understand the attraction they have. Even when she's clawing at the coffin she's buried in, she's as cold as a corpse already.
Then there are the vexing facts in the case of the uneven interior lighting from scene to scene. We go from moody interiors correctly matched with their dim gaslight and oil lamp sources to spectrums of bright white, impossible to be produced by the lamplight available, sandwiched between a few suitably bleak, mist-shrouded exteriors: a memorable chase under a gray sky and through a foggy, barren, forest brings to mind The Fall of the House of Usher.
Not much else is memorable except for the murder by pendulum. Its intensity is surprising given the duller deliveries of the subsequent murders. I'm not sure if practical effects were united with digital, but watching that enormous blade slice through Griswold's belly, him screaming, it cutting deeper with each notch of its giant gears rolling into place, all that blood and glistening chunks of visceral meat splashing wildly, and the blade finally bisecting Griswold into two lifeless parts as it comes to rest, stuck into the wooden table between them, is breathtakingly disturbing, but oddly out of place here. I wondered how the villain managed to build such an immense, clockwork precise contraption by himself. Poe even remarks he hadn't imagined the counterweight to be so large when he sees it.
I'm torn myself between loving and hating it, given the rest of this movie.
This article originally appeared at From Zombos' Closet.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License.


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The NFL divisional round is a nightmare for the football aficionado's spouse. Marquee quarterback showdowns, the arrival of high-caliber teams who earned byes, the end of maniacal stats-driven fantasy-football watching, prime weekend time slots suddenly off-limits for dinner reservations. But there's not a single minute of action to be missed.
As New England's Tom Brady circa 2001 would attest, there's a Friday Night Lights Matt Saracen in every sorry backup left suited up and sitting on the bench. But conventional wisdom is that you need a star quarterback to win. An unscientific analysis of the last 10 Super Bowl champions reveals the importance of big-money, big-name men: they are good. On the list: Eli Manning, Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Ben Roethlisberger, Peyton Manning, Brady, and Brad Johnson. You probably recognize all but one of those names.
And, as an eager ESPN announcer pointed out about Alabama's quarterback in the national championship game: "Wow, I'm tellin' ya, you quarterbacks—you get all the good-lookin' women. Wow! What a beautiful woman."
Here, a preview of the quarterback matchups, and a brief and probably unnecessary history of the woman behind each guy.
Baltimore Ravens (10–6) @ Denver Broncos (13–3), Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET, CBS
NFL contrarians refer to the Ravens' Joe Flacco (season: 3,817 passing yards, 22 touchdowns) as an elite quarterback who's led Baltimore to winning seasons. This myth (explained by Grantland's Bill Barnwell) hides the reality: Flacco's a comically overrated player who hands off to talented running back Ray Rice. Flacco's had some of the league's best defenses, led by Ray Lewis, boosting his squad. He does have some momentum though: last week "Flacblow" (coined by the same people who brought you the Cincinnati "Bungles") had a stellar game against the Indianapolis Colts.
Denver, of course, has Peyton Manning (4,659 yards, 37 touchdowns). He's recovered from having two vertebrae in his neck fused together and missing the 2011 season to put up MVP numbers.
Significant others: Flacco's wife, Dana, played the center position in this really sweet (and horribly awkward) football-themed photo of his wedding party. He has one daughter. Manning, 36, met his wife, Ashley, before his freshman year in college. They married in 2001, and they have twins.
What'll probably happen: The last time these two teams met in December, the Broncos won pretty easily. Peyton's too good. Look out, New England.
Green Bay Packers (11–5) @ San Francisco 49ers (11–4–1), Saturday, 8 p.m. ET, Fox
You'd think a quarterback rating of 104.1, a league-best 70 percent completion percentage, and a 19–5–1 record under his head coach would secure Alex Smith's (1,737 yards, 13 touchdowns) job in San Francisco. Not so much. A concussion in week six knocked out the starter and ushered in second-year quarterback Colin Kaepernick (1,814 yards, 10 touchdowns). Kaepernick, apparently brimming with confidence since the fourth grade, is known for his tattoos and relatively infinite upside. Smith, meanwhile, usually finds himself on the sideline, and cameras tend to zoom in on his face when Kaepernick plays well—or when he plays poorly.
The Packers have the guy who was actually drafted after Smith: Aaron Rodgers (4,295 yards, 39 touchdowns), who has had another stellar year.
Significant others: Smith, 28, has a child with his wife, Elizabeth, a former Oakland Raiders cheerleader. It's unclear if Rodgers, 29, who met his girlfriend Destiny at church camp 10 years ago, is or isn't engaged.
The real story here is the drama for Kaepernick. Sketchy blogs, accusing the 25-year-old of an inflated ego after landing his starting gig, reported that his "now ex-girlfriend" took to Twitter in December after he dumped her (though it's unclear when the break happened). Some of the tweets: "Oh your chick is coming to town? Lol I can't deal… done being the good guy" and "You want groupies rather than a true honest person hmmm interesting." It's unclear when the relationship was though, but some pictures suggest that it did exist in some form.
What'll probably happen: This is a rematch from week one, when the 49ers destroyed the Packers. But that was when the San Francisco was lead by Smith. New quarterback, same outcome. This isn't Lambeau Field.
Seattle Seahawks (11–5) @ Atlanta Falcons (13–3), Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, Fox
Matt Ryan (4,719 yards, 32 touchdowns): one of the best in the league or classic choke artist? The Falcons' quarterback is still looking for his first playoff win. Will the fourth time be the charm? If not, what's arguably the best nickname in the NFL, "Matty Ice," may just have to be revoked. Then again, it's probably a bit unfair that his "legacy" may hinge on this one game.
Somehow, despite winning the game last week, the Seahawks' rookie QB Russell Wilson (3,118 yards, 26 touchdowns) was still overshadowed by RG3 and his knee. After a slow start though, Wilson roared back, and the Seahawks just keep getting better.
Significant others: Ryan, 27, is about as apple pie as it gets. He's been married to his wife, Sarah, since 2011. Meanwhile, Wilson, 24, tied the knot with wife Ashton last year (she's featured in his Twitter picture). He's a devout Christian who posts a daily Bible verse on the microblogging site as well. Bet you didn't know that.
What'll probably happen: The Seahawks are good, but it's time for the iceman to make a splash.
Houston Texans (12–4) @ New England Patriots (12–4), Sunday, 4:30 p.m. ET, CBS
Matt Schaub (4,008 yards, 22 touchdowns) torched the Cincinnati Bengals last week for ... zero touchdowns. This just can't go on. It's been more than a month since Schaub threw a score into the end zone. For what seemed like the first time in months, he smiled last week after throwing for a first down that would ultimately end the game.
On the other end of the spectrum is New England's Tom Brady (4,827 yards, 34 touchdowns). Despite having two Super Bowls taken away by the Giants, he's still a monster.
Significant others: Schaub, 31, may be limping into the postseason, but his wife, Laurie, a former cheerleader, has been honored on many "hottest" lists. Now 35, Brady famously dated actress Bridget Moynahan for more than two years until their relationship ended in 2006, just as she discovered she was pregnant—and shortly after Brady started dating his now wife, Gisele Bündchen. That didn't win him too many fans. He has two kids with Gisele.
What'll probably happen: The Patriots blew out the Texans earlier this season. Get ready for a Brady-versus-Manning showdown again.


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Microsoft Corp. on Thursday began hiring employees for its coming retail stores in California and Arizona by posting a list on the Web of the six different positions available.
They include assistant store managers for its planned stores in Mission Viejo, Calif. and Scottsdale, Az., customer service, sales and inventory associates, as well as two techie positions: retail technical advisor and retail trainer.
Reporting to the store manager, both positions require "an elite level of product knowledge in all Microsoft retail product and service offerings" and the ability to be an "example of the Microsoft vision of the customer relationship."
Microsoft technical advisors sound similar to the Mac Gurus in Apple Stores, though perhaps with more of a sales component. Besides helping "troubleshoot customer issues," technical advisors are to "provide customized solutions to 'new' purchasers that meet their needs and exceed their expectations," according to the listing.
Based on leaked slides of concept stores, the advisors would work behind either the "Answer Bar," "Guru Bar" or "Windows Bar."
Requirements include two years experience teaching, training or selling in a retail or service environment, the ability to multi-task and lift 75 pounds. Microsoft or other certifications and a college degree are all preferred.
Trainers, meanwhile, will also conduct training sessions for employees and customers, and help develop training and presentation materials.
For trainers, minimum job requirements include: three to five years of teaching or training experience, especially technical training in a sales environment, knowledge of Microsoft software, and the ability to lift up to 50 pounds. College degree and Microsoft certifications are considered plusses.
No salaries were posted for any of the jobs, and shifts and hours were listed as "varies."
When Microsoft hired 155 'Windows Gurus' in the U.S. to work as technical experts/evangelists in stores such as Best Buy, it said it would pay $US20 per hour or more, plus benefits.
Microsoft hasn't talked about its Windows Guru program much since then, though according to this Web site, it appears to still be up and running. It also expanded the program internationally to countries including the UK, Norway, France and Canada.
Microsoft said it will update its hiring page as more Microsoft Store locations are announced publicly.


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This article is more than 1 year old
Silicon Valley wedding list targets hungry programmers
I now pronounce you, a startup
A Silicon Valley couple with Web 2.0 aspirations have chucked out the traditional wedding registry and are instead seeking help from friends and family to fund their startup.
The couple, Drue Kataoka and Svetlozar Kazanjiev, are slated to tie the knot on August 29, so you still have time to help out with getting their marriage and their company Aboomba off the ground.
"No blenders, flatware or crystal here," write the couple on their online wedding registry. "Instead, feed an engineer for a day - or provide cloud hosting or coffee for a week."
So you can feed an on-site software engineer for a week, which is rated at a very precise $273.97, or a much cheaper outsourced engineer for a mere $150. You can kick in for lunch for a hungry venture capitalist at Madera in Meno Park for $291, which includes a seafood extravaganza as a starter, an oak-grilled ribeye steak, and a $170 bottle of Chateau Lynch-Bages Bordeaux.
Or, if you have lots of cash laying around, you can kick in lunch for an unspecified amount for Tim Draper, managing director of venture fund Draper Fisher Jurvetson, which helped bring us Skype, Hotmail, and a slew of other startups. You can also pay for an hour of a lawyer's time for $385.
For wedding guests and other contributors to the Aboomba and Kataoka-Kazanjiev causes with more modest means, you can buy lattes for a team of programmers for a week at $129.50, a keg of Red Bull - a week's supply as well - for $52.41. You can also kick in for a $300 gift certificate at Fry's electronics or $134.40 for a week's worth of web hosting on Amazon's ECS cloud. And finally, you can pay for one month's rent, at $250, to put the startup in a Silicon Valley garage to "make the startup official."
Don't waste $150 for Aboomba to buy online advertising, though.
Just like you never know how a marriage is going to turn out when you buy a gift, you won't know what you are funding if you kick in a gift at the wedding registry. Aboomba is still in stealth mode, and Kataoka and Kazanjiev are not spilling the beans. ®


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OK, perhaps Andrew Ridgley would've been a better analogy. On the occasion of WFAN's 25th Anniversary, Mike Francesa's former co-conspirator, Chris Russo tells the New York Daily News' Bob Raissman that he's not ruling out a return to the New York terrestrial station, though given their success without him (and the commercial/artistic failure of Sirius/XM's Mad Dog Radio), who's to say he'd have an opportunity?
"You never want to say never. You know how the radio business is. So, you never say never, but I haven't thought about it in my crystal ball, let's put it that way," Russo said. "But I'll tell you right now, if Mike and I did shows together we would have no trouble picking right up where we left off."
Russo knows the business. He knows Francesa, as a solo act, has maintained the kind of ratings the two of them produced. He also knows through all those years together he figured out a way to deal with Francesa's mood swings, using humor to soften his rough edges and oversized ego.
"I am who I am. My nuttiness cannot be duplicated. They miss my nut sensibility," Russo said. "They miss the things that just came out of my mouth. From that standpoint I had some impact."
The decision to part ways with Francesa was the biggest one of Russo's life. It's one he made himself. To this day he still asks, "You think I did the right thing?" Yet, when asked to reflect on his years at FAN he's fuzzy.
"It's almost like in the last four years, it's almost like I've forgotten I was at FAN for so long. This (Sirius/XM's 'Mad Dog Radio') is a different kind of element, a different kind of show. It's all-consuming. It's so different than what I was used to," Russo said. "You forget what you accomplished in that 20-year period. It's almost like I forget I was at FAN for 20 years."
When Russo's deal is up in 2013, I suspect he'll find gainful employment somewhere on the radio dial. Conversely, it's probably gonna be overnights (at 7-11) or podcast-city for the man with more pseudonyms than cogent thoughts that follows him on weekday evenings.


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By: Bill Hudson
Pictures by: Don McCombs & Jo Hudson
Illustrations provided by: Bob Melusky
Cub provided by: Peter Person
Plowing is one of those activities that those who love the land really enjoy. Nothing beats the smell of freshly turned soil or the sight of straight, even furrows extending to the horizon (okay, to the end of the field or garden). Many new owners of "old" Cubs are wanting to plow and plant something -- a garden (large or small) or something more extensive. Either way, they may lack the experience necessary to properly mount, adjust and operate their wonderful Cub with a plow attached.
This article serves as an introduction to plow mounting, adjustments, and operation for those using the popular F-Cub with either the 193 or 194 moldboard plow. There are versions of two-way plows available for use with the F-Cub but they will not be covered specifically in this article. However, the same principles will apply for these plows. You just need to make the mounting and adjusting apply to both sides of the Cub.
First and foremost, before ever attempting to plow -- read the manual for the plow you have. Yes, I'm sure that there is a good chance that you do not have the 50+ years-old manual. I have good news for you. Implement manuals are available through this forum, via the "Quick Links" pull-down menu in the upper left portion of the screen: Quick Links / PDF Manuals / Farmall Cub / Cub Attachments.
Print off the manual that corresponds to the plow you are going to use and read it over thoroughly. Save it for future reference. For those who are new to plowing, I would suggest that you take the manual to the field with you for answering those questions you may have as you make the inevitable final in-field adjustments.
After reading your manual, you should evaluate your plow. Remember, this plow is probably over 50 years old and may have seen hard use before you got it. Are all parts/pieces present and accounted for? Are all parts/pieces in good repair? If you need to repair/replace parts, do so before attempting to mount the plow.
The plow share is the logical place to start when evaluating the plow. There are a multitude of shares/points available for these plows. Covering all of the possible options is beyond the scope of this article. This first picture shows a point and share in need of replacement. Will this point and share still work? Probably, but if you have hard soil, it may not work well.
Another example of a point and share, one that shows recent use and replacement.
Note the difference in the appearance of the points and the leading edge of the share. The rusty share shows a much more curved leading edge, a sure sign of wear.
Finally, it may be instructive to look at a point that has been replaced while the share has not. This point has seen little use since it was installed, however, the share and moldboard are showing lots of wear when compared to the point.
The landside is an important part of the plow subject to a lot of wear and should be examined to determine if there is sufficient thickness to still fulfill its function.
This part slides along the furrow wall and serves to help keep the plow pulling in a straight line. Check the landside for wear, both along the lower edge and on the vertical side. Some of these parts on 50+ year old plows will be completely worn through the vertical side as shown here. Although this landside is still somewhat functional, it should be replaced.
The colter and or jointer should be examined for excessive wear to be sure the bearing is not worn out.
Unless your plow has been well cared for, you will need to shine up the share, moldboard, landside, colter and/or jointer before even attempting to plow. The heavy coat of rust should be removed to allow the soil to flow smoothly across those surfaces. A plow that has the rust removed pulls easier and does a much neater job.
The best way I have found to clean these surfaces is with either an electric or air powered right angle grinder with a coarse sanding disk attached. Sand until you have removed most of the rust and the surfaces begin to show some shiny metal. Some of your surfaces may be severely rust pitted but you need to see some shiny metal before you stop. You will not need to polish the surface, let the soil do the final polishing. (More about soil polishing later.) Wearing a face mask is advised because you will be making a lot of dust and there is no need to inhale it.
Once again refer to your manual for mounting and adjustment instructions. The manual has detailed instructions and illustrations of the adjustments that need to be made. Many of the adjustments on the plow can be made without mounting the plow on the Cub. If you follow the instructions closely you will minimize the need for in-the-field adjustments. You will probably need to make some but a properly adjusted plow to start puts you in position to begin with a minimum of problems.
Let's look at those adjustments in detail by referring to illustrations from the manuals. The colter, on the 193 plow, can be adjusted easily before mounting the plow.
Adjust the colter to run parallel to the beam and 2" from the beam. As can be seen in this illustration, there is a gap between the plow point and colter. This gap should be 3/4". When viewed from the side, the colter hub needs to be directly above the plow point and the bottom edge of the colter should be at least 2" above the plow point. Follow the manual directions for which bolts need to be used to make these adjustments.
The colter adjustments for the 194 plow are very similar except the coulter is not mounted to the plow beam. The colter is mounted directly to the pull bar, as shown here.
Final colter adjustments need to be made with the plow mounted to the Cub.
For pictures of mounted plows you can go to TM Tractor Parts website TM Tractor Implement Gallery. The 189, 193, and 194 plows are shown mounted, check these pictures before you begin and save yourself some frustration.
Once you have the plow shined up, the colter greased, the adjustments made, and all the bolts tight -- it is time to turn your attention to the Cub. I'm making the assumption that you have all the parts/pieces required to mount your plow properly. If you are not sure, refer to your copy of the "Owner's Manual."
The first item to address is wheel width. The most desirable wheel width is 44", although other widths will work after making appropriate allowances for the difference in wheel width.
You may want to consider adding weight, to the rear wheels, for additional traction when plowing. Some of the factors affecting the need for additional weight are:
- The type of soil you will be plowing is the major factor. Light sandy soil plows easily and should not require additional weight. If you have a heavy clay soil, additional weight may be required to provide the traction necessary to plow.
- Plow setup and adjustment are critical. An improperly adjusted plow is simply harder to pull. Properly adjusted, the plow pulls much easier and does a much neater job.
- Finally, soil moisture content affects how difficult it is to plow. Soil that is wet makes it more difficult to plow. Don't plow if the soil is too wet to work! If, after the furrow slice is turned over, the soil appears to be smeared and/or shiny looking, it is too wet to plow. If you continue to plow, you are creating a multitude of problems that will be difficult to solve later.
Calcium chloride has been used for years as liquid ballast for tractor tires. Currently, there are other options for liquid ballast. When pumped into rear tires liquid ballast makes a significant addition to the tractor weight. An advantage of liquid ballast is that there is no visible change to the appearance of the Cub. In addition there is no heavy lifting (great for us old folks). Since it is pumped in (normally at a tire service center), removal is difficult for the owner. Also, calcium chloride will rust the rims if a leak occurs, the newer materials are formulated to reduce rusting and be more environmentally friendly.
Wheel weights add 150 pounds to each rear wheel, when used singly or 300 pounds when two weights are used per wheel. Wheel weights can be used with or without liquid ballast in the tires. The advantage of wheel weights is that you can easily (?) mount or dismount the weights as needed, however, in practice, most people mount the weights and leave them mounted.
It is always important to maintain the correct tire air pressure and becomes more so when adding weight to the rear tire and then doing some serious pulling, as you will when plowing. Especially with a Cub lowering air pressure will not make a noticeable difference in traction, therefore, follow the inflation recommendations printed on the tire sidewalls. Your tires will last longer and give better service as a result.
This picture shows a Cub on an asphalt driveway with the left side elevated on wooden blocks 7-1/2" high.
Throughout the rest of this article I will be using this Cub to illustrate various principles/adjustments. This is done to simulate the effects of being in a field with the right side in a plowed furrow. The yellow block under the right tire is a chock block used as a safety feature to prevent the Cub from backing off the wood blocks.
Please notice that the Cub is tilted and the colter attached to the pull bar is vertical. This will be more important as the plow is attached. The bottom of the furrow needs to be nearly level. This is achieved by twisting the plow beam, in the opposite direction, an amount equal to the tilt of the Cub. This is readily apparent when viewing the plow beam here.
The beam is vertical even though the Cub is tilted. Please follow your manual instructions for making this adjustment.
As you make the adjustment to get the plow beam vertical, or nearly so, the trailing end of the plow share will be about ½" higher than the point. This is rather easy to illustrate here on asphalt, but more difficult to do in the field.
Note that my fingers are under the end on the share and, although it can't be seen in this picture, the point is firmly on the asphalt. When lowering the plow, the point always touches the ground first and leads the plow into the ground. If the share touches the ground first you will need to make more adjustment to bring it up. This adjustment, on the 193, is made with an eccentric bolt at the front of the beam and is described in the manual. The fast hitch 194 plow is adjusted with the leveling crank on the left side of the fast hitch. The bottom of the furrow will be "nearly" level when this adjustment is correct.
The plowing depth is controlled by adjusting the bail height or the drawbar height. These are controlled by an adjusting lever or an adjusting screw. The adjusting lever or screw should be adjusted so that plowing depth is achieved when the adjusting lever is in the middle of the quadrant. This will allow quick, accurate changes in plow depth in response to changing soil conditions.
Plowing depth is ALWAYS controlled by this adjusting lever NEVER with the lifting mechanism (hydraulic or mechanical). Since the 193 is lifted by a chain no down pressure can be exerted but some may be tempted to keep the chain tight. Do not do this.
Likewise, those using a 194 may want to use the Touch Control to control depth. Therefore, I feel the most important adjustment is the one pictured here.
Make certain that the set collar is at least 6" away from the swivel on the lift rod. When lowering the plow, pull the Touch Control lever all the way back and let the plow float, as determined by the hitch bail.
As you are in the field, you need to visualize an imaginary line that runs straight from the inside of your front tire to the inside of the rear tire to the end of the plow share. Your plow is set properly for width of cut when this occurs. A side benefit is that, when you are in the furrow, a slight steady pressure to the left on the steering wheel will keep your front tire on the furrow wall and minimize the need to constantly watch the front wheel.
Some would suggest that the tires should run an inch or two away from the furrow wall with the plow adjusted accordingly, so as to not damage the tire sidewalls. In my experience, I have never seen tires worn out or seriously damaged from contact with the furrow wall.
Don't forget to take your manual and tools necessary for adjustment to the field. Refer to the manual as needed for adjustments, but most of all enjoy the experience!


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