text:
Then the colours will morph out of all recognition and you will know the glow of an evening on fire.
– Stephen on Hilda And The Bird Parade h/c
Mrs Weber's Omnibus (£20-00, Jonathan Cape) by Posy Simmonds.
Rejoice, rejoice! All my Christmas quandries have been answered in one fell swoop! I do hope no relatives read my reviews.
From Posy Simmonds MBE, the creator of TAMARA DREWE, GEMMA BOVERY and LITERARY LIFE, I commend to you without equivocation one great big brick of a book, collecting Britain's best-ever series of self-contained newspaper comic pages. I promise you unfaltering brilliance from cover to cover: a body of work which is both timeless and yet a time capsule of cultural mores as seen in Britain during the 1980s. Improbable, yes; impossible, no – not in the right hands.
Let us take a stroll down any street and eavesdrop on 'Well Known Facts'. From the mouths of babes…
"But why can't you walk on the cracks?"
"Because my mum says if you tread on the lines, bears will get you.
"And my mum says if you make a face like that & the wind changes, you'll get stuck like that for ever & ever!
"And my mummy says if you swallow pips like that, an apple tree'll grow out of your mouth & suffocate you to death!
"And my mum says if you pick a guinea pig up by its tail, its eyes drop out…"
"And my mum said if I'm good, the tooth fairy will put 50p under my pillow."
"Liar Liar! Pants on fire! Nose as long as a Telegraph wire!"
"And my mum says if you unscrew your tummy button, your bottom falls off."
… and adults alike…
"And my mum says if we have another baby, it'll bring Mike & me together again."
"And my doctor says if I had a more positive attitude to motherhood I wouldn't feel so sick!"
"But my mother said if we stay together, it'll be better for the children…"
"And my architect friend says if we knock down the front & back, it'll give us more privacy."
"And my husband says if he gave up smoking he'd only eat and then die of a fatty heart…"
"… and Peter said if we kept it discreet, Eric wouldn't suspect a thing!"
That, my friends, is the perfect page of Posy Simmonds: searingly well observed, beautifully composed, artfully juxtaposed, and rammed to its riotous rafters with timeless truths, even when they're lies. Like husbands fobbing off their wives with transparent lies about where they are and why they're not home from work on time. God help you, morons.
There will always be children's parties to be endured, full of fun, tears and trauma; family holidays with their preparation, packing and inevitable rain-drenched afternoons; the innuendo-obsessed and overenthusiastic soul of the party; editors bleaching authors' individuality to oblivion in search of commercial conformity; mother-in-laws (and indeed mothers) unsubtly critiquing your house and domestic endeavours; parents judging other people's parental skills via the behaviour of their children; mothers taking on all the worries of their children, their husbands, their own mothers, their babysitters… even their cats!
But Posy presents all these so wittily, so deftly, so mischievously, and with a lot of lateral thinking!
Take 'Lonely Heart', the heartbreaking ballad of Action Man and his Trudi-Doll – such a sad state of affairs! Once she lay up his manly torso at the top of the toy box, as sexy as a supermodel, then she started wearing his clothes, carrying his gun, and "Finally, last week, she moved into a gyro-powered assault craft, with rotating gun turret". Truly their fate was in the tiny hands of playful Gods toying with their lives. "I have now moved in with a duck. It is far from ideal."
There's also an extended sequence involving Stanhope Wright, advertising executive and serial philanderer (hmm, there's always one, isn't there? See TAMARA DREWE), preparing to shoot a soup commercial, and the secretary he ignores in favour of the more flamboyant members of his creative team. Entitled 'True Love' (with a softly arched eyebrow), within Janice Brady wistfully daydreams of the boss she believes will one day notice her – the boss who one party did notice her when she nearly caught him snogging at the Christmas works do, and fobbed her off with a jar of stilton. Oh, the jar of stilton – she carries it around with her everywhere! In her dreams she is the irresistible queen of comicbook romance, Posy adroitly shifting styles to nail the hair, the mascara and then, once scorned, the blonde-haired beau who swoops in to make all around jealous, then carry her off into the sunset once tragedy has struck and she lies dying (in her mind) after a triumphant moment of self-sacrifice, trampled to death by a flock of satanic-eyed sheep sent stampeding by a jar of mint sauce.
Wonderfully ridiculous and yet, if we're honest, once more absolutely true! I love the predatory Stanhope's hooked nose and jutting chin, and the addition of red to the black and white pages works wonders.
The real draw and central stars, however, are ex-nurse and aspiring children's author Wendy Webber and her husband George, a lecturer in Liberal Studies at an unnamed Polytechnic. Here George queues at the student canteen to be served by Marie and prepares a farewell speech in his head. Ah, and the things we dream of saying, but never do and never would!
"As one of the longer-serving lecturers here at the Poly… it is my great pleasure to remind the Staff & students that, after 15 years' survive, Marie is going to New Zealand… and, therefore, things in the canteen can only get better…
"I think one can say that, during Marie's despotic reign, never in the field of institutional cooking has so much food been left by so many… I for one will not miss her air of truculence, her fault finding, her inability to give the right change… I won't miss her rudeness, her racism, her petty economies & above all, her congealing food, cooked & served in PURE BILE!"
"Go on! Take it! What d'you think I am??"
Lethal, I'd have thought.
Wendy and George are children of the '60s with children in the '80s, striving to live lives informed by those original ideals while passing them on to their children. Dispelling the taboo of boozums comes back to bite George when on the bus with young Benji, who can't help but speak his little mind! Wendy despairs at the ignorance, petty parental prejudices and outright racism she sees outside the school gates when the scandal of headlice and nits starts doing the rounds. They are dismayed as city dwellers buy up seaside cottages and visit for just three weeks a year. They cater for neighbourly street parties while teenage Belinda, post-punk as you like, scowls at her parents disdainfully, resentfully, critically. Belinda is full of wrong-headed rebellion – a superficial elitist spouting social reform while practising none of it, snapping at her parents' community-orientated offerings like their home-made wine and striding off to drink Pimms instead.
Simmonds' layouts are impeccable: she always manages to pack in far more information on a page than you'd imagine possible whilst clearing the deck off all clutter – no extraneous self-indulgence here. Her characters are never caricatures – not even the boisterous and bulbous-nosed whisky salesman Edmund Heep – but full of humanity and individuality, and I particularly love Wendy Weber's eyes drawn as dots on her glasses. The prevailing fashions and fabrics of the day are nailed, as are the day-to-day details of domestic routine on the early diary pages: appointments, phone numbers, rotas and little money sums. "Yes, yes, yes!" I cried when I saw the table keeping track of which of offspring had encountered which childhood diseases (chicken pox, measles, German measles and mumps) and so grown immunity.
So much here will strike familiar family chords: burst pipes, nativity plays, learning lines for school – the days when banks kept the hours they pleased rather than actually catering for their customers.
On top of that, over-analytical George is a hoot, seeing complex socio-political messages in a simple bourgeois and bucolic fabric pattern. Here an old friend from the sixties is over, hoping to join George on his faculty, and George cannot resist another opportunity for purple pontification:
"Wear a suit by all means, but don't cut your hair! The Dean & the interviewing panel may draw probalistic inferences from your hair… Seen structurally, the pig tails signifies an identification with the North American Indian – giving you a political dimension. And you've got a rubber band round your hair… Rubber is a symbol of the mechano-cultural colonisation, compounded by rape, of the Amazon by Europeans! And your pigtail will link you in the Dean's mind with his interdisciplinary here: Benjamin Franklin."
"But, Dad, the student representatives on the panel will look at his hair & think: Boring, Geriatric old Hippy."
That was indeed Belinda, yes. Her boyfriend Jasper is pretty exasperating too, but also prone to bursts of eloquence which may miss the point but certainly hit the mark. What a way to speak to your in-laws, eh?
"That's a typical remark of you woolly liberals! Look at you! All your soft, frayed, faded, patched, ethnic, woolly, comfortable, old clothes sum up your attitude to life!
"Whenever controversy comes you way, you swaddle it in woolly deference and smother it in a cushion of irreproachable tolerance!
"You bile never bubbles! Your gorge never rises… your blood never boils! …because you sit on the bloody fence. You're… TEPID!"
Exit Jasper & Belinda. I leave the last word to Mrs. Weber.
"That Belinda's metallic pants & Dagger heels… Jasper's piranha-teethed zips & crushing boots point to a life of unrestrained aggression? People like that meet violent ends!"
"And what happens to woolly liberals?"
"Ah, woolly liberals! An agonising death… We get moth eaten…"
Please note: you can blow the interior art up on the shopping page linked to below, and read the pages properluy.
Buy Mrs Weber's Omnibus and read the Page 45 review here
This Is Not My Hat h/c (£11-99, Walker Books) by Jon Klassen.
Another succinct gem from the creator of I WANT MY HAT BACK. Do you get the impression that Jon Klassen had a traumatic, hat-related incident in childhood? Stealing hats is wrong, he seems to be saying. He really is quite specific about that. Also: there will be repercussions.
What makes this beauty so uproarious is the simplicity of the sentences, the confidence or at least optimism with which they are uttered, and the way in which, from the fourth sentence on, every hope is beautifully undercut by what is actually shown.
"This hat is not mine. I stole it.
I stole it from a big fish. He was asleep when I did it.
And he probably won't wake up for a long time.
And even if he does wake up, he probably won't notice that it's gone.
And even if he does notice that it's gone, he probably won't know it was me who took it."
Cue Jaws theme.
Buy This Is Not My Hat h/c and read the Page 45 review here
Dockwood h/c (£13-95, Nobrow Press) by Jon McNaught…
It's a crisp Autumnal day in Dockwood where, as the sun slowly rises, turning the few stray clouds in the sky a vivid red, and the birds commence their dawn chorus, the early risers of this quiet town's residents have already begun their day. Enter our first lead character, Mark, a kitchen assistant at the local nursing home who's got the day's meals to prepare. As he begins to peel the spuds listening to Bon Jovi on Daydream FM, the chef's already hard at work preparing the sausage casserole. Then it's on with his rounds, seeing which of the elderly residents fancies a cuppa. Mr Dunn in room 9 would like one whilst he watches a choir singing a resounding chorus of Jerusalem on some breakfast TV show. Perhaps if those pesky starlings outside his window would shut up for a moment he could actually relax and enjoy it.
Then it's on to Jake, just out of school for the day, and keen to get his paper round done so he can get home and play the latest shoot 'em up that his mate has lent him. He wanders round the streets popping the Dockwood evening news through various letterboxes whilst the waning of the day takes its inevitable course. The sky becomes blood red again, before it darkens completely and the stars begin to come out, twinkling brightly in the now crystal clear sky. There's the odd animal, wild and domesticated alike, foraging for food here and there, scampering off to hide or making their presences known, as per their attendant common sense or bravado. It's a relaxing stroll round a typical neighbourhood, really, and Jake even finds time to have a quick leaf through the paper himself, whilst munching a chocolate bar a kindly pensioner has given him as a tip.
But when he gets home and boots up his Playstation 3 we're fully immersed in an alien world as the gun-toting good guy is teleported out to the deserts of Hyperion to locate the Captain up on Sunset Ridge. Once the legions of bug-faced aliens have been dispensed with headshots galore there's only the final objective to be achieved, to follow the Captain to his ship and blast off for the next level of all-out destruction. It's a strange moment therefore for Jake / our gun-toting hero to take a pause and drink in the alien sunset, with what seems to be a flock of starlings swooping and swooshing high up in the sky. In fact as they come closely we realise they're a flock of vicious-looking pterodactyl-like creatures, resulting in a quick scurry to the safety of the shuttle, before the Captain initiates the launch sequence.
All of which does precisely nothing to explain what an astonishingly and uniquely beautiful book this is. If you're familiar with any of Jon's previous work, PEBBLE ISLAND, BIRCHFIELD CLOSE or indeed his contribution to NELSON, you will immediately understand exactly what I mean. If you are so far unaware of Jon, or haven't yet seen any of his work, have a look at the accompanying interior art (see shopping page, linked to below), and you will instantly see precisely what I mean.
This is a work about transitions, clearly, but also about the small moments that whilst individually might not seem significant, come together to make up each and every day. It's just that in Jon's hands, every single moment is artistic heaven, yet it is the combined totality, the flow of images, that serve to produce a story which is just so visually compelling. There's genuine punctuation provided by the art too, usually when one of the characters actually has the time to pause and take in the beauty around them, or often when they are utterly oblivious to it, being immersed or distracted by the task at hand. I remember well when I first saw Jon's first published work by Nobrow, PEBBLE ISLAND, that moment of thinking, no, I really haven't seen it all, here is someone who has managed to do something completely different, distinct and wonderfully individual, and do it so triumphantly. It's not often you get that feeling, but it's wonderful when it does happen.
On that note, it's probably worth me finishing by sharing a quote from Chris Ware I came across whilst looking for interior art, which I hope serves to underscore precisely why Jon is going to become a very big name in the comics world in time…
"There are few younger comics artists with whom I feel a genuine aesthetic kinship, but the radiant and glowing DOCKWOOD is Jon McNaught's loveliest argument yet for the beauty of just being alive. It's a gem."
Well put sir, well put.
Buy Dockwood h/c and read the Page 45 review here
Hilda And The Bird Parade h/c (£11-99, Nobrow Press) by Luke Pearson.
Magical. Magical, exquisitely coloured, and so beautiful to behold.
From the creator of HILDAFOLK, HILDA AND THE MIDNIGHT GIANT, EVERYTHING WE MISS and indeed the far earlier SOME PEOPLE which so stunned us all here that we made it Page 45 Comicbook Of The Month.
Young school girl Hilda lives with her mother, a professional artist, out in the wilds of the most majestic countryside with mountains that rise into the crystal-blue skies, their snow-capped peaks enticing you ever upwards to explore! They're populated with fantastical creatures which Hilda loves to dash out to document and draw! Armed with a rucksack full of pens, pencils, paper and nature books, Hilda could spend an entire day…
… sitting bored indoors, looking mournfully out of her bedroom window onto the deadly-dull streets of a city suburb she is forbidden to set foot in. Oh dear. They've moved.
To her mother's mind these city streets are infinitely more dangerous than the troll-troubled hills they once frequented. With no discernible vantage points you could get so easily lost in the maze of seemingly homogenous house fronts, and then there are the people. People ain't no good. Anything could happen to a young girl out on her own…
Bravely Luke Pearson has set his series on a brand-new course and brilliantly he's played to his loyal readers' fears. The school children who entice Hilda out know all the cool places, but they are very far from cool. They ring on doorbells and then run away, goading their potentially impressionable new friend to do the same. She doesn't, for Hilda knows her own mind (thank you very much indeed) and so stops to chat to the old lady she's just called upon and takes time to compliment her window box of flowers. And then, just when you think Hilda's winning, and beginning to bring them round in their search for the best and shiniest of rocks, there is a moment of awful brutality that had my jaw on the floor. Also: she does get lost.
But oh, Luke Pearson, how well you know your craft! One of Pearson's finest skills is the ability to surprise – to make you gasp – and everything you have read so far is designed to do precisely that. Who am I to spoil that pleasure?
There will be wonder aplenty, discoveries made from true discernment, and a heart-racing climax to get to the annual Bird Parade on time! Then the colours will morph out of all recognition and you will know the glow of an evening on fire. So lambent, and so eye-poppingly awesome, with exotic forms that fill every inch of each page.
I love Hilda's mouth when she goes "Oooh!" I'm making that face as I type: a projection to a small, rounded mouth to one side that lets out a well-rounded, well, "Oooh!" It's infectious – the sort of art that encourages you to enact what's happening and so makes for the best bed-time reading.
Oh, who am I kidding? This entire series would and will be lapped up by kids; but it's adults who are getting the current kicks, right? Right. Just as it should be. Sales through the roof, just like the best of Neil Gaiman.
Buy Hilda And The Bird Parade h/c and read the Page 45 review here
Kiddo h/c (£12-00, Records Records Records Book) by Antoine Cosse ~
A man is alone in a field, fantasising of gallant deeds to save a woman while his fire burns out of control, scorching the surrounding crop. In the thick of smoke he battles a giant beast who only sought to rescue him. The beast, a large, blind dog he names Kiddo, journeys with him as they attempt to reach the source of a black cloud on the horizon, battling un-dead hordes and grotesque witches on their way.
I'm finding it hard not to compare Antoine's bizarre pictorial psychic letting here to Alejandro Jodorowsky's early mind-bending films of blasphemy and redemption, El Topo and Holy Mountain. Not that anyone could ever top Jodorowsky's kaleidoscope of dementia, but the narrative's attempt to steer through the quixotic dreamscape to a finite conclusion is worthy of the glorification. This is the strongest avant-garde comic I've seen from a UK publisher (Antoine himself is French), and certainly the most enjoyable since Anders Nilsen's DOGS AND WATER. Although maybe I'm just biased towards dogs.
Buy Kiddo h/c and read the Page 45 review here
Ralph Azham vol 1: Why Would You Lie To Someone You Love? h/c (£10-99, Fantagraphics) by Lewis Trondheim…
"Yikes… you headed to the lowlands to sell all your furniture, Mr. Filbert?"
"We're moving, Ralph…"
"Really? With that second rugrat on the way, you had room to grow here…"
"A second child? We're having a second child? Is that why you were so insistent that we leave? "Fine… we'll talk about it later… You bring nothing but bad luck, Ralph…"
"YO! FILBERT! BAG-O-DIRT! It's not like I told you to poke your shrimp into her salad. Have a great life among the lowland retards! You'll fit right in!!"
Probably my absolute favourite Trondheim work to date, having all the perspicacious story telling (BOURBON ISLAND) we've come to expect from the French mirth-master (DUNGEON, TINY TYRANT). Well, aside from when he's not denigrating himself in his down-beat autobiographical material, that is, though that too is gently amusing in its own way. This, however, very much reminded me of the hilarious Fabian Vehlman & Jason collaboration ISLE OF 100,000 GRAVES (which we made Page 45 Comicbook Of The Month) as the titular Ralph, who once seemed destined to become the Chosen One and so big things, now firmly resides in the position of village scapegoat for all the various communal problems that arise, real and imagined, and thus frequently forced to reside in the pigsty for his troubles.
Ralph takes all the abuse with surprising magnanimity and grace, though he does love to dispense the odd vocal barb or two in retaliation, usually landing him right back in the excrement of the swine variety. The reason he's regarded as such a failure is when his particular mystic power manifested, there having been several Chosen Ones over the years, no one was particularly impressed when it turned out to be knowing exactly how many children someone would have, rather than something exciting and potentially useful like pyrokinesis.
Ralph's past isn't quite what it seems, though, and perhaps destiny might just have been delayed rather than having passed him by completely. As word arrives that the ravaging horde are in the neighbourhood for one of their occasional tours of rape and pillage, and the villagefolk are dithering about what to do, it might just be the moment for Ralph to finally become a hero and save the day. Alternatively, he might decide his neighbours deserve absolutely everything that's about to happen to them and make a run for it, but that would be telling! Delighted this is only volume one, I'm looking forward to the further adventures of Ralph already, I must say.
Buy and read the Page 45 review here
Comic Sketchbooks (£24-95, Thames & Hudson) by various…
Insanely eclectic mix of over 700 sketchbook pages and thoughts from a myriad of people (80!), some of whom you'll almost certainly have heard of such as Charles Burns, Posy Simmonds and Seth, but many you won't have yet, like the intriguingly named Colonel Moutarde and Cyril Guru, both French. Heller pulls it all together nicely providing mini-bios on each contributor. As interesting and often beautiful as the artwork itself is, I found myself fascinated by the commentary provided by the artists, sometimes on the specific pages included but also on the concept of having a sketchbook itself, and how they use it. I'll certainly be looking into what comics are available from some of the people I was less familiar with, that's for sure. The only negative comment is the utterly bizarre choice of cover which looks like some of an explosion of red and green light from a 3D projector and does absolutely nothing to indicate the fantastic quality of material contained within. I just don't understand that at all, especially given Heller's obsession with beautiful design and artwork.
Buy Comic Sketchbooks and read the Page 45 review here
Arrived, Online & Ready To Buy
Reviews already online if they're new formats of previous books. Otherwise the most interesting will come under the microscope next week, while the rest will remain with their Diamond previews acting in lieu of reviews.
Heads Or Tails (£16-99, Fantagraphics) by Lille Carre
Pope Hats #3 (£4-99, Adhouse Books) by Ethan Rilly
August Moon (£10-99, Top Shelf) by Diana Thung
The Walking Dead Novel vol 2 The Road To Woodbury hardcover (£18-99, Thomas Dunne Books) by Robert Kirkman, Jay Bosinga
Came The Dawn hardcover (£21-99, Fantagraphics) by Wallace Wood
Mice Templar vol 3: A Midwinter Night's Dream h/c (£22-50, Image) by Bryan J.L. Glass & Michael Avon Oeming
The Cartoon Utopia h/c (£18-99, Fantagraphics) by Ron Rege Jr.
Blue s/c (£10-99, Top Shelf) by Pat Grant
Rogue Trooper: Tales Of Nu-Earth vol 3 (£17-99, Rebellion) by Gerry Finley-Day, Simon Geller, Steve McManus & Steve Dillon, Jose Ortiz, Chris Weston, Brett Ewins
Star Wars Omnibus: Clone Wars vol 2 (£19-99, Dark Horse) by various
Sweet Tooth vol 5: Unnatural Habits (£10-99, Vertigo) by Jeff Lemire
Assassin's Creed vol 1: Desmond h/c (£8-99, Titan) by Corbeyran & Djillali Defali
Assassin's Creed vol 2: Aquilus h/c (£8-99, Titan) by Corbeyran & Djillali Defali
Assassin's Creed vol 3: Accipiter h/c (£8-99, Titan) by Corbeyran & Djillali Defali
Tank Girl: Carioca h/c (£14-99, Titan) by Alan Martin & Mick McMahon
Dark Tower vol 6: The Journey Begins s/c (£14-99, Marvel) by Peter David & Sean Phillips, Richard Isanove
Superman: Earth One vol 2 h/c (£16-99, DC) by J. Michael Straczynski & Shane Davis
Batman: Eye Of The Beholder s/c (£10-99, DC) by Tony S. Daniel
All Star Western s/c (£12-99, DC) by Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti & Phil Winslade, Jordi Bernet
Absolute Final Crisis (£75-00, DC) by Grant Morrison & J.G. Jones, Carlos Pacheco, Doug Mahnke, more
Wolverine And The X-Men vol 1 s/c (£10-99, DC) by Jason Aaron & Chris Bachalo plus others
Fear Itself: Uncanny X-Force & The Deep s/c (£14-99, DC) by Rob Williams, Simone Bianchi & Cullen Bunn, Lee Garbett
Secret Avengers vol 4: Run The Mission, Don't Seen, Save The World s/c (£14-99, DC) by Warren Ellis & Jamie McKelvie, David Aja, Michael Lark, Kev Walker, Alex Maleev, Stuart Immonen
Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe s/c (£10-99, Marvel) by Cullen Bunn & Dalilbor Talajic
Uncanny X-Force vol 6: Final Execution Book 1 h/c (£18-99, Marvel) by Rick Remender & Mike McKone, Julian Totino Tedesco, Phil Noto
Hulk: Mayan Rule s/c (£12-99, Marvel) by Jeff Parker & Dale Eaglesham
Sailor Moon vol 8 (£8-50, Kodansha) by Naoko Takeuchi
Sakura Hime vol 6 (£6-99, Viz) by Arina Tanemura
Bleach vol 48 (£6-99, Viz) by Tite Kubo
Bleach vol 49 (£6-99, Viz) by Tite Kubo
The Flowers Of Evil vol 3 (£8-50, Vertical) by Shuzo Oshimi
Durarara!! vol 4 (£8-99, Yen) by Ryohgo Narita & Akiyo Satorigi
Bakuman vol 15 (£6-99, Viz) by Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata
Bakuman vol 16 (£6-99, Viz) by Tsugumi Ohba & Takeshi Obata
Jiu Jiu vol 2 (£6-99, Viz) by Touya Tobina
Oh, to be back in St. Malo! There's this 'mazing Sean Phillips exhibition with great big, wall-sized installations
Also, you've seen the blog about the Page 45 December 2012 signing with Hope Larson & Bryan Lee O'Malley, right? Right. Squeal at will.
Lastly, as part of Birmingham Zinefest 2012 Dan Berry hosted a couple of round-table panels, and here they are to listen to. The top podcast with comicbook creators Lizz Lunney, Philippa Rice, Luke Pearson and Marc Ellerby being quizzed by Dan Berry was the most sublime, softly spoken and oh so funny chat I have ever overheard. Highly recommended!
– Stephen


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subset: commoncrawl


text:
"You know you're a bad psychic when your crystal ball has three holes in it and the Bowlaroo logo."
""Psychic Gets Struck By Lightning"? Wow, you'd think she'd have seen it coming."
The fact is, I knew that you were going to click on that link. I am also very much aware that you are currently sitting in a chair, reading this. You see, you came here for a reason, and that reason is ectoplasmic jelly will cost you $19.99 for me to reveal. Of course, I knew your credit card number, but the spirits took my short term memory o.O
If this be not proof enough for you of the stunning, almost house-like reality of the awesome realm of psychic mystery, then let me say that you must certainly work in a fish canning factory, somewhere in Iceland, and that you have an uncle called Rudy who is very hairy and almost eight feet tall. Yes? No?
And I can also tell you that you did not know that I was using analogies in that last prediction. For by Iceland I meant New York and by fish canning factory I meant Corporate lawyer. You are a dynamic, highly strung corporate lawyer called Willard Woogley carving out a career for yourself in the core of the Big Apple, but fighting against the cynicism which threatens to overwhelm you and destroy forever your youthful enthusiams for corporate law - hence the interest in the realm of the psychic!
Well, ok buddy, I'm still getting strong signals on the fish front. I can say with some confidence that you have at least seen at least one fish at some point in your life. Maybe you even touched one. Without realising it, you probably have a strong psychic bond with fish. Your girlfriend smells like the fish market. Indeed - look behind you at that fishbowl - do you see Lochlan swimming in there? He tells me that...
The fee
Sorry to interrupt, but I am going to have to ask for your credit card details at this point. As you know, this psychic business is rather taxing, and I need to make sure that I'm strong enough to continue. Master Card or Visa? .... .... .... .... .... Thank you very much. I'll deduct my fee from your account. Next, I will need you to strip down and grab your genitals. ... There we go. ... Now make some up and down motions. Thaaaat's it... Oh yeah, before I forget, because I have no genitals, I must ask you: is that a penis or a vagina? Really? OK, thank you. Let us proceed.
The Methods
Cold Reading
Most people who claim to be psychic are really using an old con called 'cold reading'. This technique involves turning down all the radiators so that the subject of a so-called 'psychic investigation' is not in fact being contacted by the spirit world, but is merely cold. However, this lends itself nicely to predictions of "cold shivers down your spine", being "touched by the hands of the dead", and "thinking about coffee or tea".
"Shotgunning" is a common cold reading technique, often used by purported psychics and mediums. The psychic offers a huge quantity of information (some of which is certain to be correct, near correct or just amusing), observes the (by now very cold) subject's reactions, and then refines the original statements according to those reactions. If the subject starts to question the authority of the psychic, the psychic will produce a large shotgun from under the table. This often helps the subject to concentrate wonderfully.
Shotgunning might include questions such as:
- "I sense that you are sometimes insecure, especially with people you don't know very well."
- "I sense that you are insecure about having your fortunes read. In fact, you are feeling very insecure right now, right?"
- "I see an elderly lady that's close to you, and is holding a shotgun. Can you make any sense of that?"
- "I have a sensation that sometimes you go into the kitchen and completely forget what you went in there for, what does this mean to you?"
- "Do you have an older relative or friend with a 'J', 'G', 'S', 'Q', E', 'T', 'L', 'O', 'V' or an 'I' in their name, or who wears shoes on a regular basis?"
- "Does this sawn-off help you to recall any relatives by that description?"
Famous Psychics
See also
Featured Article (read another featured article) | Featured version: 22 January 2013 |
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War Crimes in Libya - The Smoking Guns
By waging war instead of protecting civilians, participating NATO nations and Qatar engaged in an elaborate ongoing war crime against the very civilians that they were supposed to protect.
The UN said in its resolution said that they wanted to protect civilians. I am a civilian. I'm asking the United Nations and the National Transition Council for help for the citizens of Sirte. Ali Salah Arzaga, Sirte, Libya. (His home and business were destroyed in the final assault on his city.)
There are very public smoking guns that inculpate the rulers of the United States, the United Kingdom, France and others in war crimes in Libya.
The rationale for NATO's entry into the Libyan conflict was based on humanitarian principles, correctly noted by Mr. Arzaga. (left, text and image: VOA video). The United Nations Security Council passed resolution 1973 on March 17 and NATO followed up with actions that the alliance and its partner Qatar claimed conformed to the resolution. The sole purpose of NATO's involvement was to "protect the Libyan population," we were told.
The outcome has been anything but humanitarian. Tens of thousands of Libyans are injured or dead. The nation's infrastructure is in tatters. One city, Sirte, was destroyed during the final push while another city, the non-Arab Black Libyan town of Tawergha, is absent its entire population, 25,000 residents. They were there just a few weeks ago.
To understand what was done by participating NATO nations and Qatar, which joined the effort, and answer questions about war crimes, consider the following: the United Nations authorization for NATO assistance, the NATO declarations of intent and actions, plus reports of behavior, and the Protocol 1 of the Geneva Convention, 1977. With this foundation, it will be possible to evaluate the behavior of NATO and Qatar.
The following evidence will demonstrate that the UN, NATO, and Qatar donned the mask of humanitarian aid while engaging in a systematic act of war against Libya to achieve regime change. Furthermore, it will be abundantly clear that the participants by their own admission actively collaborated in acts of war that were not authorized by the UN and that resulted in violence against civilians and the infrastructure of the nation.
Please note that criticisms and negative judgment concerning the behavior of the NATO do not imply support for the actions over time or for the human rights record of the late Muammar Gaddafi and his government. Regardless of Gaddafi's record, clear analysis is required when the leaders of the United States, the United Kingdom, and France make war the way they did in Libya. This was done in the name of the citizens of those nations, without consultation or formal consent.
UN Security Council Resolution 1973 (2011) on Libya
The overriding purpose of the Security Council resolution was to protect civilians. The resolution affirmed that member states of the UN will, "take all necessary measures … to protect civilians and civilian populated areas under threat of attack in the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, including Benghazi, while excluding a foreign occupation force of any form on any part of Libyan territory…" UN, March 17
The first military action authorized by the mandate was a no-fly zone. Participating nations were mandated to "establish a ban on all flights in the airspace of the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya in order to help protect civilians" and "to take all necessary measures to enforce compliance with the ban on flights." UN, March 17
The second military action was an arms embargo: "ensure strict implementation of the arms embargo" outlined in UN Security Council resolution 1970 (2011). That resolution is clear: "all Member States shall immediately take the necessary measures to prevent the direct or indirect supply, sale or transfer to the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, from or through their territories or by their nationals, or using their flag vessels or aircraft, of arms and related materiel of all types." UN, February 25, 2011
Additionally resolution 1973 required that any flights originating in Libya be cleared by NATO, froze all Libyan government funds overseas, and authorized the creation of a panel of experts to inform the UN of any deviation from the NATO action's main mission of protecting the people of Libya.
At no point did any UN Security Council resolution authorize NATO and Qatar to take sides in the conflict, to commit acts of war that benefitted one side, or to assure that one side or the other emerged victorious.
NATO Declarations
NATO's main web page on its Libyan effort states that its mission conforms precisely to the authorizing resolutions from the UN:
"Since March 24, an unprecedented coalition of NATO Allies and non-NATO contributors have been protecting civilians under threat of attack in Libya, enforcing an arms embargo and maintaining a no-fly zone. As NATO Secretary General Rasmussen explained, under Operation Unified Protector, NATO is doing 'nothing more, nothing less' than meeting its mandates under United Nations Security Council resolutions." NATO, October 2011
A NATO fact sheet describes the use of military assets and personnel employed in the Libyan effort:
"NATO conducts reconnaissance, surveillance and information-gathering operations to identify those forces which present a threat to civilians. NATO air assets can then engage targets on the ground, at sea or in the air. Ships and submarines policing the arms embargo contribute to the mission on a case-by-case basis." NATO, October 2011 (author's emphasis)
NATO's task was to bring to life the UN resolution designed to "protect civilians." There was no mention of assisting the military operations of the Libyan rebels fighting the Gaddafi regime. There was no authorization to attack and destroy civilian targets. Most importantly, there was no authorization whatsoever, no matter how tortured the logic, that enabled the coordination of land and air forces to win a military victory. The stated purpose of the UN resolution was to protect civilians.
What Really Happened in Libya - the Smoking Guns
Three smoking guns destroy the claim that the UN and NATO intervened in Libya to protect civilians. They are the brutal bombardment and sacking of Sirte, the recently revealed supply of arms to the rebels by coalition partner Qatar, and the coordination and link between Libyan rebel land forces and NATO air efforts. These events took place. They are acknowledged by the parties in public media. The actions represent violations of Protocol 1 of the 1977 Geneva accord on protecting civilians and violations of the UN mandate and stated principles of NATO. Taking sides with the National Transition Council (NTC), the umbrella group for the Libyan rebels, is clearly outside the bounds of preemptive wars, even as allowed in very narrow cases in the UN Charter.
Destroying the City of Sirte
In early September, the commander of the NTC demanded that the town of Sirte surrender. While town leaders tried to negotiate a peaceful resolution, the presence of Gaddafi loyalists prevented this from happening. The population of Sirte was 80,000, the vast majority of them civilians. On October 8, NATO began a furious aerial bombing of Sirte. The entire city was affected.
The Associated Press reported on October 27 that, "Resistance in Sirte was fierce, and three weeks into the battle, anti-Gadhafi forces had advanced only a few hundred yards (meters) into the city." NATO's air bombardment broke the stalemate on the ground:
"It all changed after a NATO bombing assault on October 8, when the ground did not stop shaking all night. Next morning the rebels pushed forwards, expecting the usual fierce resistance. There was none." The Australian, October 24
Even without resistance, upon entering Sirte, "the rebels flattened the area with everything they had, bringing their tanks and heavy guns into the city and blazing away at every building standing between their own positions and the sea." The Australian, October 24
The city of Sirte was not an aggressor in the civil war in Libya. The city did not organize attacks or officially endorse attacks. It was filled with civilians. There were also remnants of Gaddafi forces that resisted the NTC rebels' entrance into the city. These were defensive actions, at this point in the conflict. No aggressive campaign by these forces could have been envisioned. The city just happened to be Gaddafi's hometown and unable to join the new government. This was understandable since it had been bombed by the NATO-NTC alliance.
Indiscriminate Attacks on Civilians by NATO
Protocol 1 Additional to the Geneva Conventions, 1977, outlines the protections for civilians in war zones agreed to by the signatories. All of the NATO participants as well as Qatar had signed Protocol 1 concerning "any land, air or sea warfare which may affect the civilian population, individual civilians or civilian objects on land" (Article 49).
The fact that there were Gaddafi loyalists among the 80,000 civilians in Sirte did not provide NATO and the Libyan National Transitional Council (NTC) fighters with an excuse to attack the city indiscriminately. Article 50 states that "The presence within the civilian population of individuals who do not come within the definition of civilians does not deprive the population of its civilian character."
The attacks by NATO and the NTC were indiscriminate according to Article 51: "Indiscriminate attacks are prohibited. Indiscriminate attacks are: a) those which are not directed at a specific military objective; [or] b) those which employ a method or means of combat which cannot be directed at a specific military objective." When an entire city is devastated and systematically demolished by military forces, as reported, the attack is on the entire city, not just a specific military target.
The bombing was so comprehensive that it eliminated both resistance and most of the people of the city, who either fled or were killed or injured. It was indiscriminate. In Sirte, "the ground did not stop shaking all night" before the NTC troops entered and began their destruction.
NATO knew or should have known that fierce bombing would impact civilians. The fact that many were killed and many more fled is further evidence of the indiscriminate nature of the attacks. NATO acted in coordination with the NTC rebels and those rebels likely used Qatar-supplied arms, as admitted by the commander of Qatar's forces (see below).
NATO alliance partner Qatar provided arms to the NTC rebels and put troops on the ground to train the NTC. Those troops coordinated between NTC rebel and NATO military forces. This violates the UN mandates for NATO and contradicts NATO's own claims about its behavior in Libya.
UN Security Council Resolution 1973 (2011) stated that the goal of the Libyan intervention was to protect civilians. It authorized the creation of a no-fly zone, an arms embargo, a freezing of Libyan assets, a ban on all flights from Libya of any type without NATO permission, and a panel of experts to assure that the resolution was followed by NATO.
NATO claimed to follow the UN resolution to the letter. On its web page, NATO asserted: "No NATO ground troops have participated in the operation – NATO's success to date has been achieved solely with air and sea assets." NATO, October 2011
But Qatari ground troops were on the ground training and coordinating NTC ground efforts with NATO air power. "NATO's success to date" had an additional essential and highly relevant component -- the coordination of its air efforts with ground strategies, tactics, and information that that was offered by Qatar as described by Qatar's Major General Hamad bin Ali al-Atiya on October 26 (see below).
The resolution did not authorize NATO to take sides in the conflict since that would have been an act of war, a preemptive war to be specific.
But isn't aligning with the NTC rebels taking sides? Qatar was part of the NATO effort in Libya.
"We were among them and the numbers of Qataris on ground were hundreds in every region," said Qatari chief of staff Major General Hamad bin Ali al-Atiya.
Speaking on the sidelines of a meeting in Doha of military allies of Libya's National Transitional Council (NTC), Atiya said the Qataris had been 'running the training and communication operations.'
'Qatar had supervised the rebels' plans because they are civilians and did not have enough military experience. We acted as the link between the rebels and NATO forces,' he said.
Libya's interim leader Mustafa Abdel Jalil told the meeting that Qatar had been "a major partner in all the battles we fought." Al Arabiya News, October 26 (author's emphasis)
The scenario outlined by General Hamad was confirmed by an extensive report in the Wall Street Journal by Sam Dagher and Charles Levinson in Tripoli and Margaret Coker in Doha, Qatar.
"Qatar provided anti-Gadhafi rebels with what Libyan officials now estimate are tens of millions of dollars in aid, military training and more than 20,000 tons of weapons. Qatar's involvement in the battle to oust Col. Gadhafi was supported by US and Western allies, as well as many Libyans themselves." Wall Street Journal, October 17
The article goes on to explain why Qatar was chosen as the agent for the war effort masquerading as a humanitarian mission.
"As violence escalated in Libya, Western diplomats said it soon became clear that without an armed ground effort by the rebels, the NATO strikes would only enforce a stalemate. But U.S. and European governments thought it too risky to directly arm a rebellion against a sitting leader." Wall Street Journal, October 17
NATO knew of and supported the actions of its alliance partners, the Qataris. The UN knew or should have known that NATO was supporting actions that violated the arms embargo and that provided ground troops and coordination between air and ground military efforts.
The acts of the UN and NATO show that the UN Security Council resolution and NATO claims of honoring that resolution were fraudulent.
U.S. Ambassador to Libya Cretz provides the proof of NATO knowledge of the major violations of the UN resolution. From the article:
Qatar has played 'a very influential role in helping this [Libyan] rebellion succeed,' U.S Ambassador to Libya Gene A. Cretz said in an interview. Wall Street Journal, October 17
The NATO alliance was obliged to keep foreign weapons, troops, and assistance out of Libya as required by the UN resolution. The ambassador makes it clear that the actions of the Qataris were helpful and clearly implied that regime change was the goal, not the protection of civilians.
The UN knew or should have known that its resolution was being violated. Section 24 of Security Council resolution 1973 calls for the creation of a "panel of experts" to monitor the Libyan conflict, assure compliance with the UN mandate, and "Make recommendations on actions the Council, or the Committee or State, may consider to improve implementation of the relevant measures." UN, February 26, 2011
If the panel of experts spoke to Ambassador Cretz or one of his peers, for example, they would have known that the actions in the name of the UN were diametrically opposed to the stated goals of the UN. If the "panel of experts" didn't know that the mission was a fraud on the UN and the people of the world, they should have. In either case, the UN is responsible for the acts of NATO done in the name of the UN.
The NATO mission was an attack on the Libyan government at that time without an imminent threat to any of the nations involved. It was a violation of international law.
International law places very strict limits on preemptive wars. This is the general outline for "anticipatory self-defense."
"The right of anticipatory self-defense assumes that an aggressor is poised to strike, and that one acts defensively in anticipation of the attack rather than waiting for the attack to occur. Traditionally, it was deemed theoretically possible that even a first-strike could be deemed defensive in nature, and lawful, if it was to forestall an attack that was imminent." Center for Defense Information, 2003
The UN has some provisions in its charter for anticipatory self-defense arising out of Security Council actions. However, there was no self-defense asserted, no imminent danger, no war outlined. The mission was mandated solely to protect Libyan civilians through the no-fly zone, arms embargo, asset freeze, etc.
NATO misrepresented its role as "nothing more, nothing less" than those actions mandated by the Security Council resolution, 1973. By allowing in ground troops as well as thousands of tons of weapons, and coordinating air strikes for the benefit of opponents of the Libyan government, NATO engaged in war that meets even the narrowest definitions of preemptive war. That is a violation of international law.
Justice Will Not Be Forthcoming
NATO went well beyond the bounds of the UN mandate. It allowed the mission's one nation that was not a part of NATO, Qatar, to violate the arms embargo, to provide troops, and to use those troops to coordinate NATO air strikes with NTC rebels on the ground. As a result, NATO and the NTC rebels were acting as one, fighting an aggressive war against the Libyan government. It was a series of lies that provided the foundation for the Libyan effort, lies that repeated principals that those directly involved were never expected to follow.
By waging war instead of protecting civilians, all parties to the effort engaged in an elaborate ongoing war crime against the very civilians that they were supposed to protect.
This article may be reproduced with attribution of authorship and a link to this article.


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The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO)
Formed in 1949 with the signing of the Washington Treaty, NATO is a security alliance of 28 countries from North America and Europe. NATO's fundamental goal is to safeguard the Allies' freedom and security by political and military means. NATO remains the principal security instrument of the transatlantic community and expression of its common democratic values. It is the practical means through which the security of North America and Europe are permanently tied together. NATO enlargement has furthered the U.S. goal of a Europe whole, free, and at peace.
Article 5 of the Washington Treaty -- that an attack against one Ally is an attack against all -- is at the core of the Alliance, a promise of collective defense. Article 4 of the treaty ensures consultations among Allies on security matters of common interest, which have expanded from a narrowly defined Soviet threat to the critical mission in Afghanistan, as well as peacekeeping in Kosovo and new threats to security such as cyber attacks, and global threats such as terrorism and piracy that affect the Alliance and its global network of partners.
In addition to its traditional role in the territorial defense of Allied nations, NATO leads the UN-mandated International Security Assistance Force (ISAF) in Afghanistan and has ongoing missions in the Balkans and the Mediterranean; it also conducts extensive training exercises and offers security support to partners around the globe, including the European Union in particular but also the United Nations and the African Union.


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Customs and Duties
You're always allowed to bring goods of a certain value back home without having to pay any duty or import tax. But there's a limit on the amount of tobacco and liquor you can bring back duty-free, and some countries have separate limits for perfumes; for exact figures, check with your customs department. The values of so-called duty-free goods are included in these amounts. When you shop abroad, save all your receipts, as customs inspectors may ask to see them as well as the items you purchased. If the total value of your goods is more than the duty-free limit, you'll have to pay a tax (most often a flat percentage) on the value of everything beyond that limit.
When shopping in Costa Rica, keep receipts for all purchases. Be ready to show customs (aduanas) officials what you've bought. Pack purchases together in an easily accessible place. The only orchids you can take home are packaged in a tube and come with an export permit.
If you think a duty is incorrect, appeal the assessment. If you object to the way your clearance was handled, note the inspector's badge number. In either case, first ask to see a supervisor. If the problem isn't resolved, write to the appropriate authorities, beginning with the port director at your point of entry.
Visitors entering Costa Rica may bring in 500 grams of tobacco, 5 liters of wine or spirits, 2 kilograms of sweets and chocolates, and the equivalent of $500 worth of merchandise. You can also bring one camera and one video camera, six rolls of film, binoculars, and electrical items for personal use only, including laptops and other electronics. Make sure you have personalized prescriptions for any medication you are taking. Customs officials at San José's international airport rarely examine tourists' luggage by hand, although all incoming bags are x-rayed. If you enter by land, they'll probably look through your bags. Officers at the airport generally speak English and are generally your best (only, really) option for resolving any problem. It usually takes about 30 minutes to clear immigration and customs when arriving in Costa Rica.
Pets (cats or dogs only) with updated health and vaccination certificates are welcome in Costa Rica; no prior authorization is required if bringing a dog or cat that has up-to-date (within two weeks of departure) health and vaccination cards. The Servicio Nacional de Salud Animal can provide more info.
Information in Costa Rica
Costa Rica Customs. 2522–9000; www.hacienda.go.cr.
Servicio Nacional de Salud Animal. 2587–1600; www.senasa.go.cr.
U.S. Information
U.S. Customs and Border Protection. www.cbp.gov.


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Interview with President Teodoro Obiang of Equatorial Guinea
Aired October 05, 2012 - 15:00 ET
CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR, CNN HOST: Good evening, everyone, and welcome to the program. I'm Christiane Amanpour. He is the world's longest serving leader. His name is Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo, and he's been the president of Equatorial Guinea on the west coast of Africa for over three decades. Obiang seized power from his uncle back in 1979. That's the same year that Margaret Thatcher was elected in Great Britain and the same year the original Walkman was first released. Since then, he's been reelected several times, in polls that were roundly derided by critics. He won close to 100 percent of the vote. His dirt-poor country suddenly struck it very rich more than a decade ago when it struck oil, bringing in billions of dollars to this tiny nation of only 700,000 people. But experts say that extreme corruption, terrible mismanagement have prevented the wealth from reaching the people. Despite a GDP per capita on a par with some countries in western Europe, including Great Britain, the majority of the population of Equatorial Guinea lives in abject poverty. The United Nations says half the people don't have access to clean drinking water or even electricity. Instead, the money seems to be going directly to the president and his big family. "Forbes" estimates that Obiang's net worth is about $600 million. And his son's lavish lifestyle has brought a probe here in the United States and a money laundering investigation in France. French authorities have already seized a $180 million mansion and 11 luxury cars from Obiang's son, Teodorin. Equatorial Guinea denies the allegations of corruption and just announced that it's suing France over this inquiry. President Obiang has been in New York for the annual U.N. General Assembly meetings. And I asked him about all of these allegations and also whether he would stick to his own constitutionally mandated plan for when to actually step down and leave power. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: President Obiang, thank you for joining me here in the studio. TEODORO OBIANG NGUEMA MBASOGO, PRESIDENT OF EQUATORIAL GUINEA: Gracias. AMANPOUR: Tell me what oil has meant to your country. Billions of dollars have been pouring in to Equatorial Guinea since about 12 or 13 years now, and once you described it as like the manna from heaven that sustained the Jews in the desert, an Old Testament referral (sic). OBIANG (through translator): First of all, I would like to thank you. You're a very, very prestigious reporter. Your question is very important to me because oil has actually been a blessing to our nation because Equatorial Guinea was one of the poorest nations in the whole continent. Because we discovered oil, today we are now the third or fourth richest nation on the African continent and around the world. AMANPOUR: Well, thank you for your explanation. And thank you for your compliment. But you know I'm a Western reporter, and I'm going to ask you some pesky questions. So if you say that oil has benefited your country so much, how, then, do you account for the fact that some 80 percent of your country people are still in dire, dire poverty? They don't have access, many of them, to clean water. They make perhaps $2 a day. They don't all have electricity. And it's still very poor for the vast majority of your people in this tiny little country. So why are people still so poor? OBIANG (through translator): Those who do criticize us are basing their judgment on outdated information and certainly haven't visited Equatorial Guinea for themselves to find out about all the good things that are there. For example, the information that the population of Equatorial Guinea is living below $1 a day, that's not true. AMANPOUR: I said $2. OBIANG (through translator): It's completely fabricated. AMANPOUR: All right. So that is what you say as the president. But many independent organizations and independent diplomats say what I just said. And the question is why is so much money going into your account? Some $600 million according to -- according to independent organizations and observers. OBIANG (through translator): The critics who are saying these things cannot show that I have so much money in my account. And just what accounts are they referring to? I don't have any special or private accounts. All this is false. It's completely invented. AMANPOUR: How do you account for Equatorial Guinea being somewhere towards the very end of the list, in other words, the -- one of the most corrupt countries in the world, according to Transparency International? It's somewhere around 172 out of 183 countries. OBIANG (through translator): I'll keep saying the same thing: critics are referring to the past. I can assure you that, today, Equatorial Guinea has actually improved on political liberties, on economic development and infrastructure. AMANPOUR: Well, again, let me continue on this money situation. Your son, Teodorin, has been accused of corruption, embezzlement, extortion and money laundering. And the French authorities have issued an international arrest warrant for him on these money laundering charges. OBIANG (through translator): I believe this is all the work of our enemies. First of all, my son, even before he became a politician, he's always been a businessman. He has his own private business activities. But when he became a politician and entered into government, he produced an accounting of all of his properties, both here in the States as well as in France, all of which was actually acquired long before he got into government. AMANPOUR: Well, then, the question is how does your son in Equatorial Guinea have a $180 million mansion -- this is in France -- 11 luxury cars - - Bugattis, Ferraris, Rolls-Royce, Maserati -- a $3 million clock and a lot of things in the United States adding up to about $315 million, mansions, jets, Ferraris, Michael Jackson memorabilia. I mean, how does your son get that much money just as a minister? OBIANG (through translator): I will say it again; he did not achieve all this as a minister. He was a businessman before he became a minister. He has his own businesses in Equatorial Guinea. And he has some companies in Malaysia as well. He has his personal finances that he manages, but there are no signs, or any proof that he had actually embezzled any in government property or government money. The moment he became minister he contributed a great deal into the coffers of the government's administration. AMANPOUR: Do you think corruption is a problem in your country? OBIANG (through translator): The government has actually established laws that prohibit corruption and I believe that in Equatorial Guinea we are very serious about prosecuting anyone involved in corruption. So, no, it's not a problem in Equatorial Guinea. AMANPOUR: All right. Well, I've allowed you to give your say and you've seen all the evidence that we have presented from the other side. Now let me ask you about political situation there. You are, I believe now, in your fourth term. Correct? OBIANG (through translator): Possibly. AMANPOUR: That's a long time. You've introduced yourself constitutional reforms and referendum which made a maximum of two 7-year terms. Under that equation, you should end your term by 2016. That will have left you in power by -- for about 30 years or so. Will you step down when the constitutionally mandated time is up? Will you step down in 2016? OBIANG (through translator): First of all, Western democratic nations cannot understand circumstances where someone stays in power for a long time. But in Africa, there exists what we call a person's charisma, because when I took power, it was in order to face a very difficult situation which was on the brink of exterminating the country. The transformations I carried out were by consensus of all political forces in the country. They weren't laws I imposed, but decisions based on consensus with all the political parties in the nation and their leaders. Therefore as regards the problem of what the new constitution provides, which is only two terms, that's a reality that will be carried out at this time. But, of course, because the law is the law, therefore, there are those who practice law and they will know exactly whether I should continue into the next phase or not, because the law may not take effect retroactively. AMANPOUR: Oh, my goodness. You're raising the possibility of running again. But you yourself have got this -- have got this -- you just mentioned -- (CROSSTALK) AMANPOUR: -- two 7-year -- and you're in your -- thinking of a fourth term? OBIANG (through translator): It is not me. It's the people. The people decide. AMANPOUR: Mr. President. There's a constitutional referendum, two 7-year terms. Will you step down in 2016? OBIANG (through translator): That's why I say it depends on the people. AMANPOUR: How can it depend on the people? It's the law. OBIANG (through translator): Because it's not a personal problem of my will, because we work based on the will of the people. The people decide. The people have approved the constitution, which determines the two terms. But you have to take into account. that the law does not keep effect retroactively. Nevertheless, if the people decide that I can present myself in the next stage, in order to fulfill what the law says, that's the people's will. AMANPOUR: Wow. Well, you're presenting a scenario where you could be in power forever. OBIANG (through translator): I am not the one. It is the people. AMANPOUR: Do you think the people want you to be in power for longer? OBIANG (through translator): That's what the people will have to decide in the future. (END VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: And when we come back, the question of President Obiang's longevity, politically, of course. Will he let go of the country that he's held onto for over 30 years? But before we take a break, Adjoguening is a hugely popular rapper who records and distributes his own underground music, singing about real life inside the dictatorship at the risk of his freedom and even his own life. That, of course, is in Equatorial Guinea. We'll be right back. (MUSIC PLAYING) (COMMERCIAL BREAK) (MUSIC PLAYING) AMANPOUR: Welcome back to the program. And now, more of my interview with President Obiang, the leader of Equatorial Guinea. It's an issue that plagues so many African leaders. After 30 years in power and term limits that he himself set, does he actually have any plans to exit the stage? (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: Once upon a time, one of your ministers ,on one of the television stations that you run, likened you to God, basically said our president is God. Do you agree? OBIANG (through translator): I can never present myself as God. I am a human being, a very modest one. And therefore, if a minister says I am God, how can a human being liken himself to God? These are things people express sometimes with no grounds. AMANPOUR: Well, you know, I've been covering elections all over the world for a long time. And from what I gather from Equatorial Guinea, certainly what many of the independent observers say is that, frankly, there isn't democracy in your country, even though you promised it back in 1991. And that all the opposition members, parties, the ones you talk about are either in jail during the elections or tortured or, you know, filling up the prisons, basically unable to mount any kind of credible political campaign. Does that bother you? OBIANG (through translator): Well, I don't have any proof that there is a single political leader of the opposition group in jail. And those who are in jail are not there for political crimes. They are in jail for petty crimes. There is no persecution whatsoever of political leaders except for those who are actually involved in attempted coups to assassinate the president or to create the kind of problem that might upset constitutional bodies, because we believe in justice, which is impartial. AMANPOUR: You may be one of the only ones who believe that, Mr. President. Let me ask you, would you hand over power to your son? Is he your designated successor, Teodorin? OBIANG (through translator): I will say to you that Equatorial Guinea is a democratic nation. It's not a monarchy. It is a republic. Therefore, if my son, if he aspires to become president, he will have to carry out his own campaign and win victory over the leaders of other political parties. AMANPOUR: If you had a genuinely free and fair election, do you think you would win? OBIANG (through translator): That doesn't depend on what I think. AMANPOUR: I'm just asking you. You're a politician. I know it's (inaudible). OBIANG (through translator): It depends on the people. AMANPOUR: Mr. President, I wonder if you're afraid of the popular will? And I ask you that because, in Equatorial Guinea, during the Arab Spring, during the uprisings which overthrew dictators north of your country -- Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, et cetera -- in Equatorial Guinea, it was banned on the state-controlled media, which is all the media. OBIANG (through translator): Madam, that is false from our detractors, because there is no banning of the press in Equatorial Guinea. The international press, radio, television and the Internet are free in Equatorial Guinea. There is no prohibition whatsoever on any press in Equatorial Guinea. Therefore, everyone in Equatorial Guinea is following current events around the world. There has been no prohibition. AMANPOUR: Well, that's definitely not what we hear from people who are on the ground and people who are observing. So we exist in a parallel reality, you and me (sic). I'm asking questions and you're telling me that everything I say is wrong and false. Who are these critics who you think are telling us falsehoods? OBIANG (through translator): These are foreign critics, because I say those foreign critics have to come -- AMANPOUR: They do -- OBIANG (through translator): -- to Equatorial Guinea to talk to the people, to the population, to political party leaders. There is no prohibition on them having contact with political parties. Therefore, I say that these criticisms from abroad do not coincide with the reality in Equatorial Guinea. AMANPOUR: Mr. President, have you heard of Aung San Suu Kyi? Do you know who she is? OBIANG: No. AMANPOUR: You've never heard of Aung San Suu Kyi? OBIANG: No. AMANPOUR: You told me you get all the news in Equatorial Guinea. She is the famous -- OBIANG (through translator): I have all the news, all the news. AMANPOUR: She is the famous Burmese dissident from Myanmar, who was under house arrest for 15 of the last 20 years, now been elected to her country's parliament, because the old dictatorship is moving towards democracy. There's a famous saying that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. But she said that it's not power that corrupts, it's the fear of losing power that corrupts. Are you afraid of losing power? OBIANG (through translator): I can never have fear of losing power. Take Syria for example. If there were to be an uprising against me, as a matter of course, I would never oppose the people's decision. I would not defend myself to stay in power. That's my belief, my own decision. That's my way of being. AMANPOUR: Well, you've agreed to come to us and have this great interview, so why don't I give you the opportunity to then tell your people that, at the end of this two -- at the end of this 7-year term, which will have been your fourth term, you will step down and you will allow your country a real chance at democracy? OBIANG (through translator): I have been elected by the people. Therefore, I cannot betray the people's will. But the people must express themselves against me for me to step down. But I say that the fact that I established two terms in the constitution, that was my will, because you can't stay in power forever. And if I did that, it's because I do believe that one day I will have to step down. I will have to step down some day. I believe this sincerely. AMANPOUR: And presumably you were sincere when you made this popular referendum. The people must have voted for this. It was a referendum. Or somebody must have voted for this. So -- OBIANG (through translator): Yes, of course. AMANPOUR: So we're talking in circles, because the people have already ratified your referendum. They've already said that two 7-year terms and basta. So why not say that you'll abide by that -- by that law, by the popular will? OBIANG (through translator): That's what I'm saying. The people have ratified the constitution. The people have to amend the laws in order to confirm that the president cannot continue, because the law is not retroactive. AMANPOUR: What is your relationship with the United States? There are lots of oil companies coming to Equatorial Guinea. You have met President and Ms. Obama. What is your relationship with the United States and how dependent is the U.S. on Equatorial Guinea's oil? OBIANG (through translator): I am an admirer of the United States because of its liberties. I remember that one American ambassador was actually ejected from my country. But I was the one who negotiated the return of the American embassy to Equatorial Guinea. So thanks to U.S. investment, Equatorial Guinea today is a benchmark nation. The American investment in my country does not have any hidden agenda like the ones I've seen from other nations. These are very transparent investments. That's why I believe that the United States can save a lot of other African nations who suffer from dire poverty, because Equatorial Guinea has overcome the situation of dire poverty thanks to the investment of the American companies. That's why I not only admire the freedom of the American people, but also the determination of its business people when they decide to invest. AMANPOUR: The statistic for the GDP per capita for Equatorial Guinea is exactly the same as it is in Great Britain, around $35,000 per person per year. That's a lot, because especially you don't have very many people in your country. So presumably everybody could be really well off and rich. But they're not. They're not. They're poor. OBIANG (through translator): We cannot use money from the natural resources as a Christmas gift to the people. The government offers the people credit. It builds public housing, hospitals, schools, roads and airports to transform the country. Therefore, there is a sector of the population that has entered the business world and the government is promoting the national businesses to transform the country in order to avoid monopolies by foreign companies. I think this is a task the government is working on right now. At the end of this week, we'll be holding a conference to address the labor issue. Why? Because there is a sector of the population that doesn't have work, because foreign companies intend to introduce foreign workers. And we want all people from Equatorial Guinea to be hired at these companies and not foreign workers. AMANPOUR: President Obiang, thank you very much for joining me. OBIANG (through translator): Gracias. (END VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: President Obiang sat here and answered all my questions, and I found it an incredibly fascinating insight into the mind of an unchallenged supreme leader. When we come back, we'll imagine a world from President Obiang's unique point of view. Stay with us. (MUSIC PLAYING) (COMMERCIAL BREAK) (MUSIC PLAYING) AMANPOUR: And finally tonight, I want to show you my last exchange with President Obiang of Equatorial Guinea. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: Who is the fellow world leader who you admire the most? OBIANG (through translator): In Africa, I admire Nelson Mandela, because he has carried out very important work. I admire leaders who have stood out in the world and who have worked for world development. (END VIDEO CLIP) AMANPOUR: Nelson Mandela. And now imagine a world where even a strong man not only has his heroes but actually emulates them. That's it for this edition of our program. Thanks for watching and goodbye from New York. END


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Architect Robert Ferry recently unveiled a stunning design for a sustainable spire in Dubai that requires zero energy and produces zero waste and zero emissions. The Almeisan Tower is a concept created for Za'abeel Park that generates all of its own energy using concentrating solar power technology. The tower itself is actually a solar power tower (much like Solar One in California) that uses heliostats positioned at the top of the tower to direct sunlight onto a central receiver.
Almeisan is the Arabic name for one of the brightest stars in the sky in the Gemini constellation. It is also derived from the word Al Maisan, which means "the Shining One." The solar power tower would be capable of generating 600 kW of solar power, which is enough to meet the energy demands of the tower as well as Za'abeel Park. The 224heliostats placed around the top of the tower would track the sun and reflect the light to the central receiver, which will then heat liquid sodium to 500 degrees Celsius in order to drive a steam turbine.
Eight concrete pillars curve up and out to provide the base for the rooftop solar concentrating plant. The pillars are held together in the middle with a large tension ring. The interior of the structure features a cafe and an observation deck, which would offer spectacular views of the city. Near the bottom, the tower features a conference facility, a children's library, and a cultural center.
The spire's construction features eight wind towers that are used to help provide a natural cooling effect, where hot air is drawn up and out of the structure via chimney effect and cool air is drawn in. Living walls and roofs also help cool the building by helping to moderate temperatures. The vegetation acts as a "heat sink for modulating the temperature variations in a similar way to mud walls in traditional indigenous huts."
This tower has an intriguing design and is the first one that we have come across to incorporate concentrating solar thermal energy into skyscraper design. The building was also designed to qualify as Triple Zero – zero waste, zero energy and zero emissions, which is a very ambitious design goal. Although this concept did not win the competition, we hope to see its ambitious array of sustainable features integrated into future projects.
+ Robert Ferry
Via Gizmag


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It feels desperately alone
The Japanese art of Urushi is a tradition dating back 10,000 years. This natural lacquer is sourced from the caustic sap of the indigenous Urushi trees. The Urushi is applied by the hands of select Japanese artisans. Once the lacquer cures it hardens around the natural rosewood body changing its resonant frequency.
All Koetsu Urushi models use silver cladded ultra-high purity copper coils. This process involves a silver sheath being slowly drawn over the copper.
Many say the Urushi body Koetsus offer an even more exciting sonic signature compared to the standard Rosewood models.
"The music was so captivating and involving that time became irrelevant and the music was everything." 10Audio.com
Urushi Lacquered Rosewood Body
Silverplated Copper Coil Wiring
Samarium Cobalt Magnet
Boron Cantilever
0.4 mV Output
9 g Net Weight


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Build Up Your Business Credit
RELATED ARTICLES on Business Credit.
- Accepting Credit Cards, the new business essential
- Handling Your Credit Report
- Help Your Business with the Unsecured Line of Credit
- Business Credit Cards and How They Benefit Your Business
- Business Credit Cards: What You Should Know on Their Possible Disadvantages
- Building Business Credit Scores
- Build Up Your Business Credit
- Apply Online For A Low Interest Business Credit Card
- Build Business Credit and See Your Business Grow
- Comparing Small Business Credit Cards & Unsecured Business Line of Credit
It is very important to build up your business credit scores to be able to avail of financial loans to fund your small business. In truth, small enterprises are now clamoring about for loans to improve their business by using the money for improvements, or purchasing inventory to meet consumer demands.
Building up your business credit takes a lot time and effort, and requires a paper works by the dozen. Here are some tips on how to get started in giving your business credit rating a healthy boost:
Set a business identity first
The first step in improving your business credit is to get one in the first place. This can be done by registering your business as an LLC or a corporation. Next you need to provide all the necessary paper works required by lenders such as legal document like business permits and licenses, financial statements, references, contracts, and so on.
You need to keep in mind that when you register your business as an independent entity, you need to have a fixed address of your business, as well as open lines of communication. (Note that P.O. Box is not acceptable as a business address)
You might also need to register your business in a credit agency so they can keep tabs on your credit ratings and scores. These organizations will act as reference when you apply for a financial loan that requires a valid credit report.
Building up your credit status will depend on the financial stability of your business as based on the financial documents during its operation. Also, prompt payments are a major issue when it comes to raising your credit status. Fail to pay on the date agreed; you get a negative score on your credit score if that happens.
You might also need to keep monitor credit card reports when they are delivered to you. Try to check for transactions that you did, or did not, make. If you spot an error, report it immediately to the corresponding agency. This will result to a higher credit rating.
Get a loan
Before you can actually improve your credit scores, you need to have a credit to work with. Many small businesses are now opting for business credit cards to improve their ratings. One reason for this is that these plastics have reduced interest rates and APR, which is quite useful for making prompt and affordable payments.
Also, since business credit cards have no principal amounts attached to them, you can easily control the interest expense you make every month. You can do some budget planning to minimize expenses and maximizing profit, without worrying about interests piling up.
Another way to improve your credit status is through credit lines. Many financial institutions, like banks, are now offering short-term lines of credits (LOC) for small businesses, with easy payment terms.
Since interest expense on LOC is dependent on the principal amount, you can easily reduce it by paying the original debt until you reach zero. With this term in mind, you can easily make prompt payments according to the agreement between you and the lender.
The gist to build up your business credit is to make prompt payments on your debts. Whether you have multiple loans or tons of credit cards at your disposal, you need to make sure that you pay each one on its designated date. If done right, you are well on your way to improve your credit scores, which in turn, will improve the financial future of your business.
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Side Event
Asian cold deserts: unique biodiversity and ecosystem services
United Nations University Institute for Sustainability and Peace
Date and Time
16 October 2012 12:15 - 13:45
Eleventh meeting of the Conference of the Parties to the Convention on Biological Diversity (COP 11)
Asia covers the largest area of cold desert in the world covering partly/fully ten countries viz., Afghanistan, China, India, Iran, Kyrgyz Republic, Mongolia, Pakistan, Russia and Tajikistan. This ecoregion harbors some unique biodiversity (e.g., snow leopard, Marco Polo sheep, yak and a large number of rare and threatened medicinal plants) with ecosystem services critical for sustainable livelihoods of 20-30 million people living within the region and a march larger population in the catchments of Indus, Ganges, Brahmputra, Salween, Mekong, Yangtze, Yellow, Tarim, Syr Darya, Amu Darya and many other rivers fed by the region. With global attention to species-rich regions on one hand and extremely inhospitable climate and poor infrastructure on the other, biodiversity in cold desert remained only a marginal agenda in biodiversity research, sustainable management and policies. Being the highest region of the world (Changthang and Tibet: 'Roof of the World') faced to the highest rates of global climate change, Asian cold desert region is likely to pass through radical changes in both wild and domesticated biodiversity, offering new economic development opportunities (e.g., agricultural extensification and intensification and increased melt-water flows in the highlands under warmer climate) and threats to biodiversity (e.g., as a result of overgrazing/overstocking and warming-driven movements of species and biomes) and biodiversity-linked ecosystem services (e.g., reduced base flow in the catchments of rivers fed by the glaciers in the cold desert region, dominance of unpalatable species). The United Nations University-Institute of Sustainability of Peace (UNU-ISP), through this side-event and in cooperation with its academic partners, shall reach out to the global community with the outcomes of its interdisciplinary programmes on biodiversity research, management and capacity building in Asian cold deserts.


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• Hen-of-the-woods mushrooms are described as "fall" mushrooms, but they can be found as early as late August, and as late as November.
• "Hens" grow best in damp conditions. Although much of Minnesota is currently experiencing a moderate drought, that can change quickly.
• Bur oak savannas are prime locations for finding hen-of-the-woods mushrooms. Look for the large fungi around the bases of living trees.
• To harvest a "hen," use a long knife to cut the main stem just above the ground.
• If you find a hen-of-the-woods, note the spot because they often grow in the same location year after year.
By Bill Marchel Special to the Star Tribune
Brainerd, Minn. – I'll always remember the first hen-of-the-woods mushroom I found.
My foray afield on that late August afternoon was initially intended to be a deer-scouting effort. More precisely I was scrutinizing the local bur oaks to see if the acorns were ripe and dropping to the ground. As most deer hunters know, acorns are a favorite food of whitetails. During late August and early September one need only to find newly fallen acorns and eventually deer will show up. So will bears, turkeys, squirrels and other woodland wildlife.
When I spotted the first hen-of-the-woods I was initially surprised. I had read about the big woodland mushrooms, but had never actually gone out looking for them. What I remembered was that they were a mushroom that grew during fall. Well, fall was almost a month away.
Unfortunately, my newly discovered hen-of-the-woods was nearly dried up and some parts were covered by what appeared to be mold. My finding though, prompted me to look further.
I recalled reading that "hens" as they are sometime called, grow at the bases of deciduous trees, usually bur oaks. So, during my deer-scouting-turned-to-mushroom hunt I simply ambled from bur oak to bur oak, which greatly narrowed down the search area. Even though the brownish colored fungi are well-camouflaged against the forest floor, it wasn't long before I discovered a second "hen."
This specimen was a dandy. I broke loose the dinner plate-sized mushroom from its main stem at ground level. Once home I removed the many spoon-shaped petals from the main stem, washed the pieces under cold water and stored them in the refrigerator.
Hen-of-the-woods are regarded as one of the most preferred mushrooms. Much of the reference material I have read describes "hens" as fall mushrooms, but, at least where I live in central Minnesota, the tasty mushrooms can be found in August, too. Every hen-of the-woods I have discovered grew at the base of a bur oak tree. I've discovered cool days following heavy precipitation are the best times to look for "hens." Bur oak savannas are prime locations.
The hen-of-the-woods mushroom is reasonably easy to identify. To me (and obviously to others) the mushrooms resemble a brown or tan hen chicken sitting on a nest. Thus the name hen-of-the-woods. Some people call the mushrooms "ram's heads" because, with some imagination, the fungi do look like a brown woolly sheep's head.
Generally the overall shape of hens-of-the-woods is oval. The mushrooms, unlike toadstools, have many overlapping brown-colored spoon-shaped caps. The interior flesh is white, and the bottoms of the caps are covered with tiny pores instead of gills. The caps grow on short stems and each stem originates from one common, heavy stalk. Although some hens-of-the-woods appear to be attached to the lower trunk of a tree, they actually sprout from the trees' root system.
"Hens" are large mushrooms. The biggest I have found weighed 8 pounds, but some top 40 or 50 pounds. Most are about the size of a dinner plate.
Luckily, hen-of-the-woods can be easily stored. They can be cut into pieces and frozen without parboiling, or dried for later use.
As with all mushrooms, it is advisable to taste a small portion first, then wait a day or so to see if you experience an allergic reaction.
Hens-of-the-woods can be used in a variety of ways. Methods of preparing the tasty mushrooms are limited only by your imagination. Use them in any recipe that calls for mushrooms. Many recipes can be found on the Web. So can identifying photos. I prefer to simply sauté "hens" in butter and sprinkle lightly with steak seasoning.
Bill Marchel, an outdoors writer and photographer, lives near Brainerd.


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Today we're sharing another fun Halloween drink for kids! This time, it's a spin on the classic Poison Apple from Snow White. Except, of course, it won't make your kids sleep until some stranger comes to kiss them! That would just be creepy! I love this particular Halloween drink for kids because it's really like two drink recipes in one. First, you'll be making your own cider. Yum, right? Then, we'll tell you how to blend it together to create the Poison Apple drink!
But before check our Halloween Drinks ideas in this video
Related: Witches Brew Halloween Drink Recipe
Poison Apple Halloween Drink for Kids
Affiliate links included below.
Cider Recipe
Cider Ingredients:
- 12 assorted small-medium apples
- 1 small orange
- 1 C brown sugar
- 2 tsp ground cinnamon
- 2-3 tsp nutmeg
- 1/8 tsp ground cloves
- water to cover
Cider Directions:
-Wash and chop whole apples and orange (no need to remove peels, seeds, or stems)
-Put all into a large pot. Add spices.
-Cover with water bringing to a boil. Continue to boil uncovered for 1 hour.
-Cover. Simmering for 2 hours.
-Using a potato masher roughly mash all ingredients.
-Continue to simmer until cider is dark tasting sweet and spicy. Allow to cool.
-Strain everything into a large pot.
Store in a refrigerator.
Poison Apple Drink Recipe
Poison Apple Ingredients:
- 4 oz apple cider
- 4 oz Cranberry juice
- Ice
Poison Apple Directions:
-Pour apple cider and ginger ale into a pitcher. Stir to combine.
-Add ice to a glass.
-Pour apple cider and cranberry juice combination into the glass.
Try serving this fun Halloween drink recipe for kids in festive seasonal glasses! This goes great with our Screaming Orange Halloween Cupcakes!
If you don't have time (or the desire) to make your own cider, it's okay to use pre-made apple cider. While you can get this in any grocery store during the Halloween season, I highly suggest checking out your local farmer's market. They often have amazing apple cider made from fresh, local apples. Plus I just like supporting my area's farmers.
You can make the apple cider a day or two ahead of your party, just don't make it too far ahead. If you've ever had apple cider, either from a store or that you've made on your own, you know that after a few days of sitting it can get a bit cloudy and, well, just a bit funky. Let it go TOO long and you've got yourself a bona fide "poison" apple Halloween drink! Not exactly what we're going for here, now is it?
As far as the types of apples go, a mix of different types makes the best cider. Each variety of apple has its own unique properties that, when blended together, create a perfectly balanced apple cider will please picky taste buds. You don't want to go with all one variety because you could end up with cider that's too sweet or too tart.
Got leftover oranges? Try making this super easy and fun healthy Halloween Orange Brains treat for kids!


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In the fall of 1979, five of us transformed an old funky cafe into a handcrafted veggie restaurant. Our menu was limited and our patrons sometimes forced to imitate sardines because of our lack of space, but each year we added more delectables to the menu and more "Normalites" to the venue.
Through the years the emphasis in our cooking has been using fresh ingredients (organic when available), inventing original recipes (born from creative chaos!), and including thoughtfulness in preparation and presentation of food. All these elements produce what we call "GONZO CUISINE." We're ever mindful, as well, of maintaining a cooperative work environment (even the cooks do dishes!), a unique style, and a "growth through challenge" attitude. All of this makes us "NEARLY NORMAL."
Enjoy your meal in our cozy downstairs seating area, or our spacious upstairs dining room, or take advantage of our shady, green, private and magical outdoor setting (weather permitting).
We are located at 109 NW 15th St. Corvallis, OR. For directions Click Here.


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Typical Zombie fare
If you are a fan of the apocalypse movies that are currently common fare in American theaters, you will immediately recognize the landscape of Season of Rot. From Cormac McCarthy's classic, The Road to the endless clones of the "Mad Max" and George Romero's "Day of the Dead," this is a world of rusted wreckage, starvation and the smell of decay. There are still pockets of life — terrified colonies of beleaguered humans who spend each day in a desperate search for food and shelter. The prevailing atmosphere in these "latter days" epics is a kind of sustained despair plus paranoia. Eric Brown's message, like the signs held aloft by the crazed prophets in cartoons is, "The End is Near."
In Season of Rot, humanity is defenseless against the legions of "the undead" — millions of mindless, rotting corpses that suddenly, inexplicably crawled from their graves as though responding to a mysterious summons. Now, they shuffle through abandoned buildings, deserted homes and the barren countryside searching for food: living flesh. Earth's survivors are dwindling while the ranks of the undead are growing. Eric Brown, the author of Season of Rot and a Haywood County resident, frequently notes (with ill-concealed glee) that humanity doesn't stand a chance.
Much of the action in Season of Rot resembles the plot of a graphic novel without the graphics (In fact, according to this book's gutsy self-promotion, one of Brown's novellas, "Dead West" is destined to become a graphic novel — It would make a good one). In most of the stories, the action has a "computer-game" quality with each plot presenting a series of predictable and interchangeable episodes and characters: (1) Beleaguered survivors flee; (2) find a temporary safe haven; (3) plan an escape to permanent safety (another country or an island), (4) are invariably attacked (hopelessly outnumbered), (5) die heroically, usually firing AK-47s as their intestines, hearts or heads are ripped away.
The majority of Brown's characters suffer from minimal development since in "zombie world," the emphasis is on action, not introspection. Male characters are limited to: handsome and muscular or "scientific and eccentric" or military and short-tempered. Women are well-developed, manipulative, sensual or nurturing. Everyone is well-armed. The weapons of choice are AK-47s, shotguns and flamethrowers. Slaughter reaches epic proportions with the majority of characters in Season of Rot barely having time to acquire names and a presence on stage before they are swept away in a flood of gore.
Readers are rarely given the opportunity to learn anything about the background of the people who inhabit Brown's five novellas. It may be that in this grim world where all humanity is as ephemeral as mayflies, their personal dreams, hopes and aspirations are irrelevant. Sooner or later, everyone is "grist for the mill."
Brown's five novellas consist of the following: The title piece, "Season of Rot," which is set in a besieged hospital (with the obligatory snipers on the roof) "The Queen" which is the name of a ship — the crew of survivors are in search of an uncontaminated island; "The Wave" provides an original explanation for the "rising of the dead" — a wave of energy originating in outer space, that creates and manipulates the dead; "Dead West" which is set in the Midwest following the Civil War and presents "an alternate version of history;" and "Rats" in which infected rodents, in conjunction with "the dead," have taken over the world, except for a secret military installation ....
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Two of these novellas, "The Wave" and "Dead West" actually contain viable characters, and in both stories, the plot unfolds with an imagination and a sense of suspense that is largely missing in the other tales. However, all of the stories suffer from stilted, awkward dialogue that is invariably delivered by characters that sound like posturing teenagers, ill at ease in the role of adults. Sexual activity seems more functional than erotic, and the occasional introduction of gay and/or lesbian characters lacks credibility, depth or warmth. Possibly, they were added in an unabashed attempt to suggest sophistication and maturity.
What then, is the appeal of Season of Rot? Why are impressive numbers of teenagers addicted to "zombie land" novels and film? Well, to quote one of R. Crumb's characters, "It was ever so." The excesses of violence and horror found in Brown's novellas (disembowelments, beheadings, and an abundance of gore — geysers of blood, savage rapes, raining body parts and bone fragments and numerous intestinal tracts that are continually springing from ruptured bodies like Jacks-in-the-boxes — all of these shocking images have a famous precedent: The Grand Guignol Theater in Paris in 1897 which became notorious for enacting scenes of graphic, amoral horror on stage. Due to the graphic realism of the action, members of the audience frequently fainted and/or vomited. Since that time, any work of horror (film, paintings, novels) that stresses excessive bloodshed over plotting, good writing and character development is called "Grand Guignol." Season of Rot definitely qualifies.
Season of Rot (Five Zombie Novellas) by Eric S. Brown. Permuted Press, 2009. 240 pages.


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April 17. 2009–Writer-director Sofia Coppola, who shot "Lost in Translation" at the Park Hyatt in Tokyo, will set her next film at the iconic Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. Stephen Dorff and Elle Fanning will star in the Focus Features serio comedy "Somewhere," which Coppola wrote.
The story centers on a bad-boy actor stumbling through a life of excess at the Chateau Marmont. With an unexpected visit from his 11-year-old daughter, he is forced to reexamine his life.
The filmmaker, who said she has been looking to make "an intimate story set in contemporary Los Angeles," received permission to shoot at the hotel, which has become notorious in recent years as a popular address for tabloid-friendly celebs. Film will lense in L.A. and Italy in June and July.
Project reunites Coppola with the film company with which she made the critical darling and box office hit "Lost in Translation."
"'Lost in Translation' remains among Focus' most beloved movies, so we have long looked forward to making another picture with Sofia," Focus CEO James Schamus said. "'Somewhere' will have all the witty, moving and empathetic qualities that characterize all her work."
"Somewhere" is produced by Sofua with brother Roman Coppola ("The Darjeeling Limited") and G. Mac Brown ("Australia") through American Zoetrope. Father Francis Ford Coppola, Fred Roos and Paul Rassam are exec producing.
Pathe will have rights to the film in France, Benelux and Switzerland; and Tohokushinsa is taking Japan and select Asian territories. Medusa Film will have rights to "Somewhere" in Italy, while Focus will control rights in all other territories.
Project marks Sofia Coppola's fourth film. She also wrote and directed "The Virgin Suicides" and "Marie Antoinette."
Fanning most recently starred in "Phoebe in Wonderland." Dorff will next appear in Michael Mann's "Public Enemies" for Universal Pictures