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Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Here's Some Toilet Paper to go With That Butt Paste
Question of the day: "What is the funniest thing your kids have ever sneaked into a shopping cart?"
Not too long ago, while shopping at Target, my oldest put a tube of Boudreaux's Butt Paste (a brand of diaper cream) in my cart. He couldn't resist after reading the label because clearly, "butt" is the funniest word in the English language. In fact, the word "butt" when combined with any other word at all, makes for absolute hilarity. For example, "chickenbutt, juicebutt, bucketbutt, buttnose. It really doesn't matter at all what word you use. Anything with "butt" makes kids laugh. (Wow! Spellcheck sure didn't like my butt words.)
I digress. Anyway, when we got to the check out, I pulled out the tube of butt paste. Puzzled, I held it up, saw the smirk on my son's face, and said, loudly enough for the cashier to hear, "Are you out of butt paste already? I didn't realize you needed more." I'm not sure if he was more embarrassed or more shocked that I made a joke out of it.
Quote of the day: "There's a mosquito bite on the door." ~Spaz This was right before he walked into my room carrying his Elmo pillowcase slung over his back, looking like Santa loaded down with toys. He brought the bag around and said, "Who wants a Christmas present?" to which I replied, "I do! I do!" He then reached into his Elmo pillowcase "bag" and brought out a 12 pack of toilet paper. Score! LOL!
183 comments:
I am terrible at updating my blog lately, I'm too busy reading yours. LOL
Thanks for the buttpaste laugh!
Liv - August 29, 2007 at 12:41 AM
- Soukii said...
I love that Butt Paste stuff! It works great.
I love that you were quick enough to embarrass him right on the spot. That is something I would have thought of several hours (or days) later.
I'm really enjoying your blog. Don't feel pressured to write everyday... hardly anyone expects that, plus you'll get burnt out.
www.otcmommy.wordpress.com - August 29, 2007 at 12:43 AM
- boogmonster said...
Dawn, you are so fun! My kids do things like that all the time and I wish I had your ability to word it the way you do. I am tearing up because of it. I hope to get to know you even though you have about a billion and a half people saying so. I am the half, hehe.
Jennie - August 29, 2007 at 12:45 AM
- Sarah said...
I just came over to see your site after being forwarded you eBAy listing for the pokemon cards. Hah! That was hilarious! It's good to know that there are some other moms of big families out there with intact senses of humor!! :)
- August 29, 2007 at 12:45 AM
My little one loves the word butt, but (hahaha!) what makes it worse around here is hubby loves the word too. We can be sitting around watching TV and if "butt" is heard, both hubby and daughter start smirking, which turns into giggles, which turns into hubby making more butt comments.
But the worst of the worst is farts/poofs/gas etc. Here it is not just the words associated, but the act of, and the sound of that can make a grown 38 year old man giggle like a schoolchild and my 5 year old wet her pants, or better yet, throw up while wetting her pants.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I have an almost 9 month old that when he "let's one", he'll turn around to either me or hubby and grin and giggle like it is the funniest thing in the world, which usually sets off a good hour of jokes. - August 29, 2007 at 12:45 AM
you truely have a gift, my first thought when i read your ebay listing my friend emailed me was, 'scam', then i read on and i thought 'wow she needs to take growing kids gods way' then as i read on, i realized that i (mother of 3 little crazies) was STILL reading it, and i continued on to your blog... you have a gift, a real gift, i hope you can use it and put them all through college with your extra funds, or whatever you have planned for them. GOD BLESS YOU DEAR WOMAN!!!! as challenging as it is to be a mother, it is utterly rewarding... by the grace of God that is!!
- August 29, 2007 at 12:55 AM
- Doiecism said...
HAH! That's great, I just found your E-bay auction (yes today... Because College students have absolutely NOTHING to do) on MajorGeeks.com .
That's just great, I've always wanted kids and hearing all this just makes me want them more. Self-destructive? Yes. Amusing? Definantly.
I worked at a pharmacy and they sold "Baby Butt Stuff". I'm serious... I, being such a mature woman, laughed every time I saw it.
I wish you to have hundreds of moments of fun with your children. And you better be sure that I'll buy your book once you publish it! - August 29, 2007 at 12:59 AM
Yep, "butt" is pretty good. In this part of the world (Australia), it gets double bonus points cause round here we say "bum" not "butt", so "butt" not only presses buttons cause it's coarse, but you can get TWO buttons with one word because it's American too. You know when you find yourself saying "We're in Australia, we call it bum not butt" that THE KIDS ARE WINNING. And it's time for a cup of tea and a nice lie down. Or at the very least, to lock yourself in the bathroom for a bit and hope they forget where you are.
However your son is neglecting some other seriously valuable words. What about "Fart"?
I don't think there's anything in the supermarket here with bum, butt or fart on it. What an opportunity our marketers are missing out on by not appealling to the nine year old boys who like to sneak stuff into the trolley. My kids are stuck with the plain old pester power of begging for chocolate breakfast cereal and anything with football cards in it, dammit! - August 29, 2007 at 1:01 AM
my husband is partial to "butt-nugget" We use Boudreaux's precisely because it is called Butt Paste. Thank goodness it works, too. Just to let you know--I really enjoy your blog, but you don't have to update it every day! Nobody else I read does. I don't blog, but I do know how hard it is to balance computer work with house and child work (albeit only three children). So fast from blogging a day or two a week and see if that helps. We'll still be here!
- August 29, 2007 at 1:01 AM
- Ang said...
Okay, I've tried to resist the urge to write you, trying to be considerate of the fact that you have about a million people vying for your attention right now, as well as six awesome kids, but when I read that your baby's name is Brooklyn, I couldn't resist! We seem to have so much in common. I abolutely loved your ebay post and unfortunately could identify with it all too well. I felt an instant connection. I have seven amazing kids, ages 12, 11, 9,7,4,3, and six months. And my beautiful baby girl is also Brooklyn! Isn't it amazing the range of emotions these little darlings can put you through? I think I've hit everything today from awe at the perfectness of my baby girl, to complete exasperation with my son that magically needs to spend half an hour in the bathroom anytime I say the words "ten minute tidy up"(he knows what ten minutes means in the context of picking up a house that nine people live in), and disbelief that a three year old can repeat the same phrase for literally an hour in that half cry/half whine voice, only to find a new phrase when I finally learn to ignore the first one! Oh goodness, I've gone on way too long. Anyways, thanks for keeping the humor in one of the best and most difficult jobs there is. You're fabulous!
- August 29, 2007 at 1:03 AM
- tsheets said...
Haha!! Too funny! Of course, anything paired with 'butt' makes me laugh as well!! LOL
Keep up the great posts!! - August 29, 2007 at 1:09 AM
Re: butt. Consider the source. Boys never really grow up. lol
You can never have too much toilet paper.
Love that you embarrassed the kid. Save this story so that when he starts dating, you can tell it to his date and embarrass him all over again. And again. :D - August 29, 2007 at 1:10 AM
- Kristina said...
Too funny!
That reminds me of a story I read once about a lady who was tired or her kids not ,imdimg while at the store, so she started to sing, rather loudly a little song about needing new underware! Needless to say the kids were embarrassed and after a few short times learned to behave or they would be the ones embarrassed!
Keep the stories coming! Love them. - August 29, 2007 at 1:11 AM
- Hillary said...
I love the "butt" words. We come up with some doosies here. My favorite is when the sweet baby utters their first "butt" word and everyone is rolling on the ground laughing and Mom is trying to tell baby not to say that. The beginning of potty talk. Thanks oldest kids.
Thank you, Dawn, for helping me be a better mom. You came along just in time!!!
xoxo - August 29, 2007 at 1:13 AM
Instead of using new material you could always adapt your blog posts into a book....
- August 29, 2007 at 1:17 AM
Pudding on the ceiling? I guess anything is possible when the least little object with six kids suddenly becomes a flying missile. This reminds me of my 13 yr old son who in the last yr or so has discovered how to do some light cooking ( high heat always). He is allowed to make grilled cheese and ramon noodles and things like that.
Well one day I had a cleaning episode and started taking everything out of the cabinets and wiping them out. As I climbed upon my step ladder to reach the top shelf by the stove I looked up. There on my ceiling was a ramon noodle. I called him in and asked "why are there ramon noodles on my ceiling?" His response was,
"Oh yeah, I was seeing if it was done."
"You threw noodles on the ceiling to see if they were done? Why?"
"Sister told me that is the only way to tell of they were done."
Although noodles on the ceiling isnt as bad as pudding, I feel your "delight" for the little things that at times catch us off guard.
I hope you do put your stories in a book. Being married almost 20 yrs I have found that its not always the kids who put each other up to their "tricks", but Dad starts alot of them. I think in your book you should include his tricks.
I have sent everyone I know your auction and evey read it over the phone to others, everyone has the same reaction, tears of laughter.
Cant wait till you write more!
Angela from Oklahoma - August 29, 2007 at 1:18 AM
- MJ said...
I love your stories, they make me smile when it has been a bad day, Take care and keep on writing.
- August 29, 2007 at 1:21 AM
- tommie said...
kids are funny...mine like the word toot....my two year old precious purple princess will butt (hee hee he there is that word) her booty up to me and let one rip. I am SURE she learned this from her bubba! then she will do the belly grabbing bend over and laugh thing!
- August 29, 2007 at 1:26 AM
- Acacia said...
Ahh...embarassment. A parent's best revenge. I've heard Battery Operated Noisy Toys are a grandparent's.
- August 29, 2007 at 1:49 AM
- Hen Jen said...
goodness, I get to comment first?! You just crack me up...I didn't know there was a diaper cream so named. I am really enjoying your blog, I have 4 kids, you make me feel alittle on the calm side..in relation to your busy-ness.
have a great week! - August 29, 2007 at 1:54 AM
- Andrea said...
That's an AWESOME comment you made to your son!! LOL
- August 29, 2007 at 1:59 AM
- Unknown said...
haha that's adorable. your blog is so entertaining to read. ^_^
~runest flect - August 29, 2007 at 2:04 AM
- ArcticAngel said...
what is it with butt? my kids find it hilarious too! I have also come to the realization (I've been in denial for a few years) that boys are gross, not like 4th grade cootie gross but everything they do is gross, most sentences have to do with potty words and lately he finds it the funniest thing to stick his finger up his nose in public and the more I tell him to get his finger out of his nose the further up it goes. Eventually he pulls it out and just for good measure sticks said finger in his mouth to see if he can make mommy throw up. I truly enjoy your blog! Not many people have more than 2 kids so I feel like I can relate! (I have 4) God Bless you today!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 2:05 AM
Love, love, love the bucketbutt! I think that is hilarious!! I don't know why, but teaching and being a mom probably helps me have a more expansive sense of humor! :)
Thanks for the laughs! My husband thinks the butt paste is funny too and insisted on buying it for our first daughter even though it didn't work very well for her! He's my first child though.
Can't imagine how you're keeping up but you deserve all the attention! Looking forward to the book too! Your situation does remind me of Julie Julia. Cute book, when you have time! (Ha!!)
Alice - August 29, 2007 at 2:19 AM
- mrtl said...
Make him use the butt paste on dry lips or when he goes out in the snow.
You may like the teacher's guide to words that make kids snicker. - August 29, 2007 at 2:28 AM
I came here from a link at Ebay ( like many people I think!)and have laughed like crazy!
Thanks for the giggle! - August 29, 2007 at 2:34 AM
- L.C. Spoering said...
we're actually big fans of the word butt around here too. and when i say "we" i mean the husband and i. is that bad?
- August 29, 2007 at 2:42 AM
- Shauna said...
My boys also think "underwear" is a punch line to any joke! Love your blog!
- August 29, 2007 at 2:52 AM
- *Tanyetta* said...
i love that kid. too funny!!!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 2:54 AM
- KamiMari said...
You forgot "butthead." All the words kids find funny.... Isn't it lovely? ;o)
I always wondered if that particular butt paste was good.
Maybe you should have bought it and posted on eBay as another one your kids got past you. Then you could actually take that money to the spa with you.... :o)
May I join the masses in congratulating you on your success and saying just how much I think you should write a book and just how much you have brightened my days.......
In fact my best friend and I talked about your eBay listing and blogs for nearly a half hour last week, and we decided that we knew quite a few people, besides ourselves, who would love to read your book. Or maybe even a paid column similar to this blog is also a good idea so you can keep it fresh. As if I'm the first person to say any of this... - August 29, 2007 at 3:01 AM
- Shauna said...
As I've been reading your blog it has come up a few times that you are writing a book. You've been "talked to" by publishers and producers. I was wondering, had you started writing a book before all the media attention, or has the inquiries and requests of everyone inspired you to move ahead with it? I'm certainly enjoying your blog and am one of those readers who'd purchase a copy. ;-)
- August 29, 2007 at 3:15 AM
- Lox said...
We have restricted certain words to the bathroom area. Othervise 50 % of our daily conversation will contain of variants of number one and number two, and frankly I have a limit how much I'll get from that.
- August 29, 2007 at 3:45 AM
- Liza on Maui said...
I get to comment first???? WOW!!!
I agree - butt is a funny word! - August 29, 2007 at 3:54 AM
- Liza on Maui said...
Oh well... maybe not the first comment since I just found out you moderate comments. I probably would be a hundred plus - oh well ...
- August 29, 2007 at 3:55 AM
I Can imagine you have no time on your hands atm .. Maybe it will ease off very quickly, then again it may be, just the beginning :)
I Would like a ask ..
Do you want more kids? .. since Baby is only 1. I know some people are saying HUH !?!?! What a stupid question but I know from experience once you think you have had enough you seem to want "Just one more;)"
I hope you are getting help from hubby, kids and Grandparents :)
Life is more important.. We are all checking several times a day if theres new posts But also understand you have 6 kids and a LIFE :)
-Debbie- xx
South Australia - August 29, 2007 at 3:58 AM
- Vanessa said...
"Are you out of butt paste already? I didn't realize you needed more."
Oh man, I hope I didn't wake up the baby from laughing so hard at that one! Thank you so much Miss Dawn!
Blessings! - August 29, 2007 at 3:59 AM
- All moments remembered said...
OHHH you are good! My son would have passed out cold!! By the way you are doing really good at keeping up here!! Hey you should have cashed the check you could have used it for a house keeper!! :)
Enjoy your day!!
Stacey - August 29, 2007 at 4:00 AM
- KATE said...
I just love you! I can't tell you how much I have needed this. You're hilarious & make me feel validated in my sarcastic mothering! (which not everyone gets)
My kids prefer buttmunch! It is a VERY versatile word ya know, everything goes with butt!! ha ha
- Kate - August 29, 2007 at 4:19 AM
Frankly, I am super impressed that you are keeping up at all! While I've had no kids of my own, I have loved and cared for many and enjoyed a three-year stint as a nanny to three girls. Your blog brings sunshine to every day -- something I can use in my life right now! Count me among those who are looking forward to your book! :)
- August 29, 2007 at 4:49 AM
- Leila said...
You are hilarious!
- August 29, 2007 at 5:09 AM
- Leila said...
You are hilarious!
- August 29, 2007 at 5:09 AM
i like your writing very much! greetings from austria and the best wishes for you and your funny family! keep on laughing ;-)
- August 29, 2007 at 5:39 AM
- Laya said...
Hey Dawn, You Go Girl!!!
Your writing is fresh and honest and anyone with kiddos can relate. Be sure you get guidance (and representation) when you sign that book deal. (email me through my website and I'll be happy to share anything I know about the publishing world--which isn't that much, but it's nice to have a support system. AuntLaya.com)
BTW, you sounded GREAT on the radio show!
Keep smiling and enjoying your kids. <3 - August 29, 2007 at 5:43 AM
Butthead is my favorite. Oh, but I forgot about Buttface.
- August 29, 2007 at 5:48 AM
- Beth said...
Butt Paste! Now that is funny! That stuff is the best! You sure got him - scary how their humor can so easily rub off on us!
- August 29, 2007 at 6:31 AM
Bless your heart for trying to update your blog every day for us eager fans who will always want more, more, more hilarious posts to read. We will survive if there comes a day when you just can't get a new post entered for us. We will probably groan, but we will survive.
You truly are as funny as Erma Bombeck and I think if she were still here, she would encourage you and enjoy you like the rest of us are!
Thanks for actually making us laugh out loud. - August 29, 2007 at 6:35 AM
It didn't make it into our basket, but my 4-yr-old son asked for a box of Day-Glo condoms at a souvenier store in Florida.
- August 29, 2007 at 6:38 AM
- Carla said...
Butt is the best word ever, to a child! Well, fart is pretty high up there too.
- August 29, 2007 at 6:50 AM
- Doug said...
The word "butt" is still funny to us older kids, too. :)
http://www.hendersonhomeonline.com - August 29, 2007 at 6:51 AM
- Unknown said...
We have a cat named Hambut.
- August 29, 2007 at 7:03 AM
- kay said...
guess what?
that's a standard greeting in my home. - August 29, 2007 at 7:03 AM
I just wanted to say thanks for all the laughs. Anyone who can keep her good humor and the ability to laugh, with as busy as you are, is amazing.
- August 29, 2007 at 7:06 AM
- Bobbi said...
It is so great to find a Mom who can laugh with her children. You do inspire me to stop and remember they are kids--and what they do and say if funny.
Your response to the butt paste was precious!
I have three of my own, and two I watch full time. Your grocery store story was like reading my life. I am going to remember all of your responses to "are they ALL yours??"
You'll have a best seller for sure! - August 29, 2007 at 7:17 AM
- Becca said...
I think the makers of Butt Paste have expert marketers! I wonder how many tubes have been stow-a-ways in shopping carts across America?! What other product has both a definite use and the ability to inspire uncontrollable laughter in children, men and gag-gifters?!
Love your blog, Dawn!!!!!!
www.studiothirtyone.blogspot.com - August 29, 2007 at 7:22 AM
Sweden wants a familypicture!
- August 29, 2007 at 7:27 AM
I have a quote for you! Just gonna paste a little excerpt from my blog, 'cause I'm too lazy to type it all again ;)
Kenz is growing up so fast .. getting too big for her britches, both literally and figuratively. She's taken to calling me "Woman" at times .. which threw me for a little while, but I finally figured out what was going on. *nods solemnly*
She came out from her shower the other day and looked at me very seriously .. I was wondering what was going on, figured she flushed something down the toilet or stopped up the bathtub ... but, she looked me square in the eye and said,
"Mom, I had a little pain right here in my chest," and pointed to the center of her chest. I looked at her kinda funny, wondering where this was going.
She leaned in, terribly serious-like, and said, "I think I've got puberty."
I blinked a couple times ... and burst into laughter. She looked a little disgusted and went to her room.
That would explain the attitude ....
if she weren't only 8. - August 29, 2007 at 7:29 AM
You did it again!! You reminded me of another formerly "lost" and forgotten memory.
Once, while shopping at Christmas time, my youngest son, (who is clearly the comedian in our house), was standing just below and slightly to my left elbow. The line was one of those that had formed along a counter and so I had "rested" my items along it. There were about a dozen people in front of me and probably as many in back of me. As we moved forward, inch by inch, as I slide the items I intended to purchase along the counter, I accidently hit my son with my elbow. I said, "Excuse me". He replied, probably in his loudest voice ever, "what'd you do fart"?
(Isn't it amazing the useless information that our minds can store?) - August 29, 2007 at 7:46 AM
- A. Misu said...
There is also a product called Anti Monkey Butt Powder (http://www.antimonkeybutt.com). Apparently it prevents chafing...
- August 29, 2007 at 7:49 AM
You are too much ~ I know you don't need another comment, but that statement you made to your son at the checkout just did me in ~ LOL!
- August 29, 2007 at 7:58 AM
- Amanda said...
I so need to see some pictures of these things, lol!!
- August 29, 2007 at 8:04 AM
- Lesley said...
Just want to thank you for an amazing amusing read! Did you ever think when you first listed the cards on ebay you'd be WORLD famous? Yep you're now being passed around the UK and putting smiles on our faces. I thank you! I hope to read your book and maybe even a series of bookes on your wonderful family.
- August 29, 2007 at 8:13 AM
You are a fun writer - let me know when the book is out! I wrote about Butt Paste too! http://www.kissmygumbo.com/?p=313
- August 29, 2007 at 8:28 AM
- pookey said...
That is awesome! My DS often comes up with some interesting statements too and I really think that I need to start documenting them so that he can laugh at himself later as much as we laugh at him now!
Can I have some toilet paper for Christmas too?? - August 29, 2007 at 8:29 AM
I just read your ebay auction, and your blog… wish you had won the money from a non friend. Your writing style is great, you will make it as an author.. you know you have perseverance, will power, and the ability to keep a positive outlook in life!
I would like to promise here and now never to complain about dragging my lazy bottom to the supermarket with 1 child in tow. I will never again complain when we are at the store and she wants to sit in the cart.
I will pay my (apparently) OUTLANDISH, LAVISH, ABSURD, shopping bill quietly – how can she feed 8 people for $280, I feed 2 (plus a husband who eats oatmeal for breakfast and gets home from work at 9pm) on $200 + a week…heck I spend $15 a week feeding my puppy…. I need to take shopping lessons from her!
I will not look longingly at large families and say wow, that is so great you must love having all those kids when I see them shopping.
I will be honest and admit that I don't food shop because dragging my 1 child to the store is to stressful so my husband (the one who is never home) does it for me on Saturday,
He goes back Sunday when I realize my list missed stuff,
He stops at whole food Monday when there is stuff "I" just could not at the supermarket,
He stops on the way home Tuesday because I just couldn't get there to pick up that thing I missed all the other days he went,
and of course by Wednesday we need fresh fruit so back he goes…bananas really don't stay very long
and on Thursday you ask … he stops for himself because he something,
on Fridays well we usually are tired (from avoiding the supermarket all week) so he stops at the local restaurant if he is coming home early and picks up dinner …if he is coming home late he might stop for himself and bring it home
Just to be fair, I do the 'wal-mart' run for cleaners and bulk items, I do the wash (except his shirts they go to the cleaners), homeschooling, driving around NJ (okay so he works in NYC), and I fix anything that breaks in the house (I am a wiz with plumbing, locks, staining decks, painting, grouting, but I don't do electrical).
Hmmm…. Looking at this I will add that I promise to figure out what the heck I actually do all day. I have 1 kid and now 1 puppy and yet I never seem to have time to get anything done. - August 29, 2007 at 8:29 AM
- Unknown said...
Dawn - I wanted to let you know you were on my mind while shopping with my 3 girls yesterday. Thinking of your ebay posting made me laugh out loud to the point my kids were asking what was so funny. Your words gave me strength:) I can completely relate to your ebay postings and now your blog. You are a loveable genuine person, and I wish you much success. -- a fan from Marlboro NJ
- August 29, 2007 at 8:33 AM
- Alex @ I'm the Mom said...
That is absolutely hillarious!! What a great way to turn around Aj's joke lol.
I would have peed myself laughing if I saw Spaz do that lol. It sounds adorable. - August 29, 2007 at 8:36 AM
- Vivian M said...
There really is such a thing as butt paste? Why would anyone name their product that?
- August 29, 2007 at 8:44 AM
Ha, that's a great way to get back at him.
- August 29, 2007 at 8:47 AM
- Clara....in TN said...
I didn't know Target sold Boudreaux's Butt Paste. I live in TN and I thought I was going to have to drive all the way to Louisiana to get some. That's where I got the first and now my son thinks he cannot do without it. He is 42 years old.
- August 29, 2007 at 8:47 AM
I love your blog!
Has your oldest discovered Zin's Crack Creme yet? My daughter giggles maniacally every time she uses it, and isn't the least disappointed that it's only lip balm. - August 29, 2007 at 8:49 AM
- super des said...
We used to sell Butt Paste in the pharmacy I worked at. We put it up for display for all too see, but eventually it just got old.
- August 29, 2007 at 8:56 AM
My sister makes a buttface when she's not happy.
I have to say, at least the TP didn't get unrolled all over the house. - August 29, 2007 at 8:59 AM
- The Gang's Momma! said...
How funny - we just had a similar conversation in our house about the word butt. Only my two oldest were attempting to use it as an insult. Hearing me correct their use of the word butt and having me repeat it various times in one mommy monologue stretched their ability to keep a straight face to its maximum ability and by the time I was done, we were all dissolved into tears. Them at the idea of mommy saying butt so frequently and me at the contortions their faces went thru to remain stoic and respectful while mommy was speaking! Boys the world over love those body part/body function giggles, don't they :)
Love your blog - keep writing, you bring good medicine to many! - August 29, 2007 at 9:00 AM
I so love your writing style! You're going to make a fabulous author - and I'll be at the front of the line for a premiere copy. Thanks for making me giggle so early in the day.
- August 29, 2007 at 9:00 AM
- Tina said...
I can't wait for the book!
How you make it through the day is beyond me. I have a 4yo boy and a 1yo boy. I often say that I'll never understand why the older boy has to be on top of the baby while he's playing with him and what's more, why the baby laughs the whole time his brother's on top of him. When they finally figure out the whole cloning thing, I'll be in business! It seems like everyone wants a piece of me!
Here's another question for you (hopefully you've not yet answered it) what does your husband do for work?
Have a great day! - August 29, 2007 at 9:01 AM
FABulous comeback!!
I like your style..... - August 29, 2007 at 9:02 AM
I love you... LOL indeed.
- August 29, 2007 at 9:04 AM
- carrie said...
There's a mosquito bite on the door..hmmm..interesting...must have been a big mosquito!!!!
Nice comeback on the butt paste!! - August 29, 2007 at 9:14 AM
- Bri said...
Ahhh, I know all too well the many words kids can create with the word butt. My almost 3 year old went to visit my sister for a month this summer. When she came back she kept singing, "I gotta big bu-utt, you gotta big bu-utt" That's what I get for sending her to my little sister's.
My kids also do the Christmas present thing. Their favorite though is trick or treating. They walk up to me and say trick or treat and I throw some random thing, like nailpolish, into their buckets. They never seem too thrilled. - August 29, 2007 at 9:15 AM
- Unknown said...
LOL I bet he never picked up Butt Paste again huh? I probably would have said something similar but it probably wouldn't have been as funny as what you said!
- August 29, 2007 at 9:15 AM
- ck said...
love that stuff, it is awesome for chaffed buns!
loving Spaz's quotes. My youngest talking son is full of great stories like that. My recent favorite was when he stopped me at the door asking me where I was going, being a smart alec, I told him "I;m going crazy!" His reply was an all too knowing, "Oh. You go to work." - August 29, 2007 at 9:17 AM
LOL! OK, it's obvious your kids get their sense of humor from you!
Don't feel obligated to update daily. I know I don't update my blogs daily (that's right, I have 3, one for me and one for each of my girls --someday I'll combine them).
Thanks for the laugh! - August 29, 2007 at 9:26 AM
- Mom*2*5*princesses*&*2*peapod*girls said...
Useless but somewhat interesting information: Did you know that only female mosquitos "bite"? Yes, it's true! Like you actually are going to get a chance to ask, "Excuse me, are you a boy or girl mosquito? If you are a boy, I will let you live". Ha, ha!
- August 29, 2007 at 9:32 AM
- Stephanie Honeycutt said...
My husband has a joke he did with our 13 year and now again with the 2 year old...
"guess what?" he'll say.
"What?" the children reply dutifully.
"CHICKENBUTT!!" he yells, and the
children fall over laughing like it is the best joke ever.
Try it and see.
Stephanie from Alabama - August 29, 2007 at 9:39 AM
I caught you on Star 102.5 out of Des Moines tomorrow. (Live about 30 miles north of DM). As they were interviewing you, I couldn't wait to get to my computer to see what you wrote next. Thanks for all the laughs!
Also, thanks for the shoutout to military families! My husband will be home next month from a 17-month deployment to Iraq. It's been tough...especially for a first time mom! Thanks! - August 29, 2007 at 9:41 AM
I am so grateful for your blog. You have no idea. I don't want to cause extra pressure, but you make me feel better every day. I just got news that my hubby is going to be deployed. The first thing I did, after the prayer that it wasn't true, was get on your blog. Even if you don't write everyday I can read your other posts, some of them are timeless and never get old with repeated readings. Thank you so much.
Lori - August 29, 2007 at 9:51 AM
You make me laugh out loud every day! Loved the "butt paste" story. I have 2 boys, and they giggle at all bodily function jokes or references. Doesn't matter what they are. Last night I used the phrase "poop juice" and had them in stitches!
Keep up the writing, and don't stress if you can't update the blog every day. We all understand that your life is BUSY. Give yourself a break! - August 29, 2007 at 9:52 AM
- Undercover Mom said...
I used that buttpaste on my kids when they were younger. It smells much better than it implies ^^
- August 29, 2007 at 9:53 AM
- kemzoo said...
Some things never become less funny even when you grow up! I've heard of Boudreaux's Butt Paste before...because a co-worker had tube of it sitting primly on her desk as a funny decoration. She was about fifty years old and the word 'butt' still made her laugh.
Glad to have discovered your blog. :) - August 29, 2007 at 9:58 AM
You rock! You really do!
But I feel like I really shouldn't say that because I don't want your head to go "poof!" and implode from all the nice things people say about you.
That is, by the way, purely a selfish consideration, 'cause I wouln't want this blogg to end --ever!
I so love what you write and can so relate to everything. Although my boys, at 4½, haven't reached the "butt"-stage. They are still at the "poo and fart"-stage. On the other hand; they are male so they'll probably stay at that level of humor their entire life. Right?
have a lovely day! - August 29, 2007 at 10:03 AM
- Melissa said...
I came across your e-bay listing linked from a pug forum I visit! Ha! I have only 1 daughter, 18months old, who at times drives me up the wall so I really admire your ability to stay sane! ;) My sister has 10 kids, so your blog gives me a glimpse into what her house might be like. I am really enjoying reading your blog, keep up the good work. Don't worry if you can't post daily!
BTW my favorite comments so far were the potty training post ones. Good tips, I plan to use some of the tips for when we start the potty training process.
http://www.whoisabby.blogspot.com/ - August 29, 2007 at 10:07 AM
I know we aren't suppose to ask - but can you PLEASE share about the pudding on the ceiling? I'm curious... :)
I'm addicted to your blog - I get up every morning and get a good laugh before starting the day! (PS: I have one - almost 3 year old - with special needs.) - August 29, 2007 at 10:13 AM
Hi Dawn,
You have become a pro at multi-tasking. I think it is intrinsic for Moms. I am a mother of 5 kids so I can totally relate to you trying to do everything. I remember a time when I was nursing a baby sitting on the floor of the bathroom, waiting for my 2 1/2 year old to go potty while i worked on a report with my first grader sitting at my feet. AHHH> Those were the days!!
I appreciate every story or insight you manage to throw our way. You have a gift for storytelling and I am thrilled that you share it with other Moms. We need the comic relief!!
Lisa K - August 29, 2007 at 10:15 AM
I love to log on several times a day just to see your comment count rise and rise and rise! Anyway, if anyone gets a minute here is a GREAT "mom song" that I am sure we can all realate too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlY8STkhopc - August 29, 2007 at 10:26 AM
Let's not forget.... Butthead, buttface, (this is a gross one), buttcheese. Yep, you can thank my husband for those charming examples.
The only other word that seems to evoke extreme snickers is the word "doody". My 5 kids do all sorts of jobs or "duties". Nothing is more funny to see my kids react when I have to say, "You get the choice job of dog doody duty. Poopy duty". - August 29, 2007 at 10:30 AM
- AMom said...
you know (referring to a previous post) i JUST had a "discussion" with my mother about my 3 year old dressing himself. i showed her a picture of him (as i was laughing about it) wearing black and gold Steelers shorts (that she sent him), an orange shirt that was backwards AND inside out, a blue winter hat, my black leather winter gloves, and his own beloved black cowboy boots - with no socks. We were walking the three blocks to pick up my oldest son at school. She looked at the picture and was horrified - "Why didn't you tell him that wasn't appropriate?" she gasped. Um, he's three. I felt that explained enough. Apparently not. So we went round and round... and then I changed the subject. She also mentioned spanking him (should he not want to listen to me when i tell him he is dressed inappropriately).
geez. blah.
have a good one! - August 29, 2007 at 10:33 AM
- Heaven said...
With two boys and a husband who thinks he's funny there will be definitely be a competition here to see who can embarrass who (or is it whom?) the most.
When my husband was a child he went to the doctor with his mother as she had a terrible case of hemorrhoids. While waiting in the reception area he announced to everyone there that his mother was there to see the doctor because she had a sore hole! I bet she could have used some Butt Paste herself - to seal up his mouth. :) - August 29, 2007 at 10:46 AM
Oh, how I wish I could come up with comebacks like your butt paste one. I'd have LOVED to see your son's face! LOL! Good one, girl!
::high five:: - August 29, 2007 at 10:47 AM
- Victor said...
Wow. Well noone likes a complainer :-). butt paste LOL wow your kids are a riot. Toilet papaer can come in handy! Christmas in the summer.
♥Vivacious Victor - August 29, 2007 at 10:58 AM
- Shana said...
You might want to try to squeeze in reading "Damn! Why didn't I write that?" by Marc McCutcheon to inspire you toward producing a book. I thought it was very helpful. You would already have some leverage with a publisher I imagine from all the web hoopla, who knows, maybe you're already there. If only you can stay up late enough to write!
- August 29, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Did you know you can buy lip balm called Chicken Poop. That stuff is pretty cool too! Keep writing girlie - you definitely have "the gift"!
- August 29, 2007 at 11:18 AM
- Matchbox Mom said...
hahahaha!!! I'm laughing my 'butt' off!!! BWahhhahahaha!!!!
Thanks for the good laugh thismorning, and every morning!!! Keep it up...if we have to read it again in the book, so be it. Good times.
Tami - August 29, 2007 at 11:28 AM
I'm just glad your oldest didn't also find "Zim's Crack Cream" on the shelves.....that's the one that makes me laugh in the store.
Thanks for updating every day. I've made your blog a more regular morning stop than my coffee shop. - August 29, 2007 at 11:28 AM
You are a riot!!! A friend of mine emailed me your ebay saga. You should definitely write a book. I have looked on your blog, and it looks like you already have. Your book should be a bunch of short stories like your blog entries. That way us moms have a shot at finishing one and feeling the rare sense of accomplishment that comes from starting something and actually finishing it!!!!
I am a huge wimp. I only have 2 kids and they are a nightmare in the store. I can totally relate. You are so funny! You give me hope and you let me know that I am not a maniac, I am a mom!!!!
Keep on writing girl, you're brilliant!!
Lisa in RL, IL - August 29, 2007 at 12:09 PM
- Mama Smurf said...
You've inspired me! I've been keeping a marathon training blog and feeling guilty that I'm the mother of 3 and have never kept a journal of any sort for my kids...it's all about running...I'm missing opportunities every day to journal my kids' wonderful personalities and lives. Thanks for the inspiration!
- August 29, 2007 at 12:13 PM
- Unknown said...
I am on the floor laughing! I have four children ages 14, 8, 4, and 2 months. I KNOW exactly what you are going through. I am a working mom and I LOVE going to work because of the peace and quiet. It's amazing the transformation that happens when we all walk in the door. They can be perfect angels at their daycares and schools all day but when they walk in the door - all that goes out the window. I am also looking forward to your book. I am looking forward to laughing to hard I am crying :-)
- August 29, 2007 at 12:17 PM
I'm another one bad about updating mine. In fact, YOU are the one that gave me the motivation to start posting again more often.
I'm lmao over the butt paste comment.
Funny too, because I can't stand that product myself. Never has worked quite right. Balmex or A&D Ointment b!tches!!!! ;) lol
Send that little one around this way. I need more paper towels. I ALWAYS need paper towels. - August 29, 2007 at 12:34 PM
- Andrew Kuiper said...
LOL! You made me laugh out loud. WHen your writing appeals to mothers, fathers, and me a 16 year old guy, you KNOW you have talent :) keep it up!
- August 29, 2007 at 12:52 PM
Yes another bloggers who read your eBay auction on recommendation from a blogger I read. Very funny, very funny indeed.
And I love how you handled the butt paste incident with your son. I guess you have have that kind of wit to raise six children today!
Best to you and the brood,
firefly - August 29, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Love the butt paste comment! Would love for you to visit my site, www.momsofboys.org --
When will your book be released? What publisher?
Sharon - August 29, 2007 at 12:59 PM
You're a hoot! I can't wait to buy your book. Keep up the great work.
- August 29, 2007 at 1:07 PM
One time when my daughter was about 4, I took her and her grandpa to a store. On our way home, my DD piped up from the back of the seat LOOK WHAT I HAVE MOMMY. It was a video that I did not pay for! I stopped the car and looked in the back, and both my DD and my FIL had a silly little grin on their faces. It seems my 85 yr old FIL thought it would be halarious to help my 4 yr old steal a video! I almost died! I felt so guilty. I made her take it back, and made him walk in with her to return it. (Inside I was laughing pretty hard... he was well off and did it as a lark with his GD, but I didn't want her to think it was ok.)
- August 29, 2007 at 1:07 PM
- The T-Dude said...
Great stuff. You and my wife have a lot in common, including location. She grew up in C.L. and I assume from your descriptions you are near there.
When you aren't wading through the piles of comments your ebay posting has generated, you should at a look at her blog, I think you'll find that you have quite a bit in common.
Anyway, classic stuff, keep up the good work! Oh and keep your head down. ; ) - August 29, 2007 at 1:12 PM
- Sara said...
Like so many of the other people who have commented, I made my way here from your ebay auction. Thank you so much for bringing a smile to my day. I loved the butt paste story today, but I was rolling on the floor with your earlier squirrel story because I can see that exact scene playing out at my house! :) Thanks for helping all of us keep things in perspective!
- August 29, 2007 at 1:35 PM
- kbq said...
A cute YouTube clip to explain kids for anyone who hasn't any... 8D
Kevin - August 29, 2007 at 1:53 PM
Your Ebay post was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. It so reminds me of my life (except I only have 3 kids and that's just plenty, thanks). People say a part of your brain (the part that can do the 4th grade math or hold a conversation with a well informed adult) comes out imbedded in the placenta. I am assuming this is the reason for the 4th, 5th, and 6th children as you were no longer able to understand what this would mean to your life, your home, and your sanity.
I would love to tell you the most hilarious thing the kids have put in a grocery cart, but I am afraid that I am not nearly as brave as you. I wouldn't take all three kids to do major grocery shopping even if I was assured the winning Lotto ticket that day! I would rather crawl through broken glass and then dive into a pool of rubbing alcohol than spend 1 minute with three boys in Super Wal Mart! And now you are asking, why go to Super Wal Mart where there are so many temptations for the kids, just go to Publix or BiLo. Oh, I'm glad you asked that question!
We live in Natchez, MS where "if it ain't at the Wal Marts, you don't need it" mentality runs rampant! I moved to this postage stamp size town because I found a job where I work 15-20 hours a week and they pay me full time (don't ask what I do - this is the sweetest job ever and I am never giving it up!). I had a 3 year old at the time and I could spend more time with him or move to a cool metropolitan community and work 60-70 hours a week and send Buddy to day care 24/7. I chose the one horse town and that horse crapped on me for the first two years!
When I first moved here I went to the Super Wal Marts looking for a thin blanket for my bed. I was setting up house in a new town where I knew not a sole and I was told, "if it ain't at the Wal Marts, you don't need it" from several folks. Well, I looked for 20 minutes for the blanket section. Did I happen to mention it is May in Mississippi? I fianlly found a short, dumpy lady ( I think it was a lady) and asked where the blankets are. She/he looked at me with a confused expression (imagine that) and uttered through her/his three teeth, "It is May and you in Mississippi - you don't need no bleyenkette!" My jaw dropped, I set down whatever else I had in my hand, I drove back to my new house with boxes everywhere, cried for a good 30 minutes and then proceeded to First Presbyterian Playshcool to rescue my child from the horrors of DAYCARE - the ugliest word in his 3 year old vocabulary.
So you see, even then I refused to take even one child into the toy infested Super Wal Marts! So I do not have an amusing "look what got in my cart" story because I am scared to go there with kids! I was however rescued by Martha Stewart (never thought I'd say that) when K-Mart had Martha's Everyday collection and did actually have bleyenkettes in May in Mississippi. - August 29, 2007 at 1:57 PM
- Julie said...
You are killing me here - my poor kids have to sit and listen to me laugh like a hyena every time I read your posts.
Speaking of butts...my husband and I once bought Monkey Butt Powder for his cousin as a Christmas gift. I guess it's for putting on before you don the leather chaps and hop on the HOG, but I couldn't help laughing at the picture on the bottle (a cartoon monkey with a bright red butt).
Keep it up, Dawn - you have lots of fans out here in cyberspace, and from the looks of it you are gaining more popularity every day! - August 29, 2007 at 1:59 PM
Ok, I LOVE your blog. I'm looking for some potty training advice. Today is actually a good day. We're 4 and 3. 4 tinkles on the potty, 3 on the rug (actually, one of those tinkles went into her Little People race track... when I dumped what I thought were potato chips so I could vacuum, I heard a SPLASH on the carpet. Yes, tinkle and chips). I neglected to dump the last potty, so we have a Fisher Price cookie that was in the pot. I need some of your patience and I need to see the positives! Help! :)
Colleen - August 29, 2007 at 2:10 PM
In our house the most common greeting is "Monkeybutt". I have boys so it is seriously the most used word there is... "butt"... You're awesome!!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 2:17 PM
HAhahaha! I love Boudreaux's!!! And mine haven't been in diapers in years!! What's even more comical to me is this morning on the way to school, the oldest is making fun of the younges who is covered in poison ivy and calls him "POISON IVY BUTT"!!! I just fell out when I read your blog! I also relate to one of your readers who commented on the fact, that when you have all boys it' fair to times them by 2- therefore her life was like living w/ 10boys! HA! I only have 2boys, 2years apart, but I beleive GOD should give every momma "2 boys, 2 years apart"! Thanks for keeping motherhood so real, and allowing us to just step back and learn to embrace it! Please post when your book will be avail! I want to buy a copy for all the "moms' in my family! -
MOM of 2 boys in Mississippi - August 29, 2007 at 2:28 PM
Thank you so much for your wit and humor. As an out of practice parent (youngest is 22, my biological child is 27) who just took in an 8 year old Foster child, I am really enjoying your daily trials and tribulations. God Bless you and keep it all coming to us!!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 2:50 PM
- Stacey said...
I love how you turned it around on him! Too funny!
Butt paste is great stuff! - August 29, 2007 at 2:51 PM
- Kimmerie said...
write when you can, we will relish every word whenever it comes!
right on the top of my website I have a disclaimer that I might not write about my life much, since I'm too busy actually having it :) - August 29, 2007 at 2:52 PM
Loved the article. Just wait until your kids decide they are "all grown up" and instead use the word buttocks. My son said in all seriousness; "Mom, that baby's buttocks are showing!" upon seeing a toddler's diaper drooping low. Where in the world did he hear that?? Beats me!
Thanks for the laughs.
Take care. - August 29, 2007 at 2:53 PM
Holy cow, I found a Mom with my sense of humor! I love it!
Speaking of butts, I have a big one. I have 6 yr old twin boys and I'm 44. My one son and I always kid around and he loves teasing me about my big butt.
One day we were in the grocery store going down the frozen food aisle and he pipes up with, 'Momma, your butt sure is fat today!' so I replied with, 'Not as fat as your lip is gonna be big boy', which made him collapse with the giggles. But man, you should have seen the dirty looks I got from an old lady who overheard us! LOL!
Keep on doing your thing. :)
I'm sure glad school's started, aren't you? hehehe - August 29, 2007 at 3:01 PM
- Charlene Austin said...
Don't burn yourself out. Daily blogs are great but we'd rather have you around long term. I think it's safe to say you have a good enough fan base that we won't go anywhere anytime soon. You're almost at 1/2 a Million. Wow!!
Have a fun day. - August 29, 2007 at 3:13 PM
- Jen said...
We left the store with a National Enquirer and a Hershey bar. Once.
- August 29, 2007 at 3:15 PM
Hi my name is Amber.I don't have any questions for you I just want to tell you that I think you are great!!I am trying to read all of your blogs.I have 2 girls one is 5 and one is 17 mo.and as you know you don't get a lot of time to read blogs.I will get through them all though.The first one I read is the ebay auction someone posted on our Fort Leonard Wood Wives group.I also want to say that I think it is awesome that your friend won the pokemon cards.You must be a special person for her to want them so bad to change her ID.She must think you are going to be very successful one day.I have to say I agree.I think you are already successful with raising your children(all 6 of them oh my goodness lol)and making people happy by bringing laughter into their days.
- August 29, 2007 at 3:18 PM
Score! lol To go with the butt paste?
Even worse than a young kid trying to sneak butt paste in the cart? My 27 year-old husband thinking we NEED it because it is SO MUCH COOLER than the other rash ointments. They don't have to be young to be boys. - August 29, 2007 at 3:19 PM
I'm suppose to be looking for a job, but can't pull myself from your blog (which I only found after being forwarded a link to your eBay listing)...your stories are not only hillarious but addictive! I love hearing these "mom stories" - makes me feel like I'm not alone or insane!
- August 29, 2007 at 3:28 PM
I've gotta tell you, you have no idea what a difference you've made in my day. I linked to this site from ebay (that a friend happened to forward to me today) and this is the first time I've smiled all day. I just got home from the vet with 2 of my daughters and one of our dogs where we discussed her being put to sleep(the dog, not either of the daughters!) To tell you how bad it was, I left the house WITHOUT MAKEUP because I knew I'd be sobbing and wore old clothes because I was sure that either the dog or the girls would be getting snot all over my shirt (all three of them did). Thank you for reminding me of all the good "bad" things we moms go through so that the bad "bad" things are easier to deal with. I know a lot of people are telling you what a difference you've made and it can seem a little overwhelming, but just let me add my $.02... You rock! Thanks for today's smile. I'll be back tomorrow for another. (PS I've found that since I'm up 'til 2 am most days anyway, that if I go to the market [that's open 24 hours] after my hubby comes home I can make it through in under 2 hours!)
- August 29, 2007 at 3:31 PM
Isn't butt a wonderful word? My 10yo son recently started a phone convesation with his grandfather bay saying "Hello Cheesebrain monkeybutt". And nicknames for our 5 children tend to have butt in them like pokeybutt for the one who moves slowly, stinkybutt for the one still in diapers, and underwearbutt for the one who strps to his underwear upon ariving home.
- August 29, 2007 at 3:39 PM
Hey, a bit of friendly advice. Only because I am a mother in your shoes. What shoes you ask....the shoes that cause your house to be in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) The fix is at flylady.net Seriously, check it out. It will help you to not become sidetrack and to get you home in order. Much Love, Taylor
- August 29, 2007 at 3:42 PM
- Sandy said...
Love your blog...it's getting so many hits though that the page is slow loading and crashes!
You have inspired me to keep writing--I too love to write and have a humorous sarcastic bite to my writing as well. I used to blog all the time but after having my first baby, it went by the wayside a bit. I did start back up again though recently with a First Time Mommy blog a few weeks ago.
Anyway, congrats on all the good things coming your way! Good luck with the book! Six kids...I'm just adjusting to ONE. You're a saint! lol - August 29, 2007 at 3:49 PM
I was referred to your blog from a friend & I must say....Thank you - LOL!!!
You see I am a mother of 2 boys (9&4)...I stopped after #2 because of #2 - LOL.
My young man is in a nutshell...such a lovely, sweet, generous & completely industriously challenging little boy - LOL
I am sitting back reading your various entries, thinking to myself, thank HEAVENS I a not the only one.
For starters, I have had to discuss with my youngest 9at age 2)that:
#1 Toilet papering mommies living roon/kitchen and EVERY other room with a 24 roll NEW MEGA pack of TP is not a good choice of extracuricular & it is probably not a good idea to persuade the then 7 year old to take part!!
#2 Teaching the neighbor girl to pee at the public park is not the most appropriate tutorship.
#3. Bandaids are for "ouchies" not tattoos and a not meant to plaster on our bodies....at one time.
#4. God DOES love mommy even if her boobies are small
Well you get the picture - LOL
thanks again, truly enjoyed your blog and look forward to further readings!! - August 29, 2007 at 4:07 PM
Butt....what about POOP?! Is that not someone's favorite word? That is a favorite of all 4 of my kids especially the 3 yr old who loved to use it to excess as soon as he could speak! Not just poop but whatever fits along with it, sort of like butt, like poopface, poophead you get the idea. Anyway, whenever we would go grocery shopping I would make sure he had a BIG snack to eat so he couldn't talk. Why, you ask? Well of course because whenever anyone would say how cute or sweet he was or just say hello...he would answer sweetly, "Hi poophead or poopbum" or even "Thank you poophead" because he knew enough to be polite, after all!!I would simply shrug and say...he's potty training. One woman with a sense of humor looked puzzled and said "Did he just call me a poophead" To which I just nodded. So what did she do? She said "Well hi to you too poophead" and thereafter every aisle we ran across her she would again address him with "Poophead, hello again" He just covered his mouth and cracked up! He has finally gotten out of THAT phase but still giggles whenever his siblings say it. Too bad they haven't gotten out of that phase! AND the funniest thing a child put in my cart?>>>>hmmmmmmmmmm. does my child husband count? If so, on a particularly interesting visit to the super Walmart where all 5 of us walked from produce to the checkouts with DOLE banana stickers on our foreheads..just because...I found something very interesting in my cart. It was a box of condoms. Now being that I was gigantically pregnant with my 4th child and swollen and miserable I automatically figured that the bad behavior of my family caused some disgruntled shopper to toss them in there as a sort of HINT! Well, after standing there gasping...how did THESE get in here, while the kid at the checkout looked especially embarassed and mortified...my hubby starts to giggle and gets that LOOK on his face. Apparently he wanted to see what I would do and if I would blame it on one of the kids!! Well of course I just smiled sweetly and handed them back to the embarassed cashier saying "I don't need these thank you" Kids, I do continue to take with me to the store...my hubby...not so much! :)
- August 29, 2007 at 4:11 PM
- Pattie said...
I love your blog I totally thought it was just my kids acting that way.. there is a funny video on my blog check it out its about mom sense..
- August 29, 2007 at 4:12 PM
My 2 yr. old's favorite word is "poop." It's all I hear all day long. What is it with boys?
- August 29, 2007 at 4:30 PM
My 5yo wanted to know what kind of butt brush goes with butt paste, "since you need a tooth brush for tooth paste." LOL!
~Toni~ - August 29, 2007 at 4:31 PM
- Alicia Sharp said...
You are too funny and you make me laugh everyday!!! Thank you!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 4:32 PM
My sister sent me your link...It's always fun to know there are other mom's out there with a sense of humor and a love of family.
- August 29, 2007 at 4:38 PM
- bigwhitehat said...
Quit whining. That is the price of becoming the most popular mommy blogger on the net.
- August 29, 2007 at 4:48 PM
I'm totally addicted to your blog! My oldest son's, (3yo) fav word these days is: "booty de-licious" as his father was teaching him to say, "Mommy is bootylicious", but he added the "de". It was all I could do to keep from busting a gut at my 3yo talking about his mommy that way! blessings to you! rhonda - August 29, 2007 at 4:49 PM
- Marta O. Smith said...
You have the one of the funniest writing "voices" I have heard in a long time.
Have you ever heard of the Erma Bombeck humor writing contest? www.wclibrary.info/erma/index.asp
And there is an Erma Bombeck writer's conference. The next one is April 3-5, 2008.
Keep us all posted on your book. With this huge fan base, agents and publishers should be in a bidding war over you. - August 29, 2007 at 5:18 PM
- Miriam Robbins said...
Dawn, I've nominated you for the "Nice Matters" Award on my site, &Etc., because of how you've encouraged your readers to donate to breast cancer research and St. Jude's Children's Hospital.
- August 29, 2007 at 5:27 PM
- Hollymb said...
I am not a mother, but I am one of 5 children and have a niece and nephew. I remember shopping with my mom and my little sister putting weird things in the cart, but nothing like that.
Of course I'm sure I did the same thing, but I think boys are worse then girls with that stuff. - August 29, 2007 at 5:30 PM
When I was 13, my mother did the unthinkable. I went grocery shopping and she needed to buy me some maxi pads. I was embarassed and went further down the isle. She yelled down the isle, "Are these the ones you want?". I went beet red and of course so embarassed. She of course smiled.
- August 29, 2007 at 5:46 PM
Best. Blogpost. Ever!
- August 29, 2007 at 5:57 PM
I was reading your post aloud to my hubby....he thought butt paste was for adults, not babies. I laughed and had to explain what it was supposed to be used for. By the way, butt paste is always a fun shower gift to give as most new moms & dads have never heard of it.
- August 29, 2007 at 7:14 PM
- Morrighan said...
You are divine.
- August 29, 2007 at 7:29 PM
I caught part of your interview with Skip and gang on 103.5 this morning in Tampa ... very funny! You don't sound like a dork, you sound like a very entertaining mom! Best of luck to you and your family... keep writing!
D Anderson
Tampa - August 29, 2007 at 7:30 PM
- Tonya said...
it's gotta be tough but believe me there are thousands of people giggling every day because you find the time to blog.
- August 29, 2007 at 7:44 PM
- MBKimmy said...
That butt paste is awesome ... for babies that is! Funny that you got your son at the check out!
- August 29, 2007 at 8:08 PM
Actually, I had to look twice at your post because just a couple of days ago, my husband and I, along with our 9 and 11 year old sons, were walking through the Pharmacy section at Target and Dave (hubby) was in front of me and he spotted the same product and then I spotted it too! He turned around and looked at me and we smirked, like, "Don't say it outloud!"... but we snickered because that's such a horrible connotation... butt plus paste? but, the name sure jumps off the shelf at you! Made me think of The Breakfast Club with the jock using duct tape on his poor fellow student...
Good for you! Embarassing your son at the checkout! Very funny!
Angela - August 29, 2007 at 8:32 PM
A few things...
You have a great talent for writing. Your blog entries should be weekly newspaper articles in the NY Times. You should be getting paid (a lot) for what you're already doing for free.
You are a saint. I have one baby (the age of your Baby it seems) with another due in November. We talked about having more. After reading all this... I've decided I owe you one, because you've helped me change my mind ;-)
You should market your blog to Planned Parenthood... if this isn't the best form of birth control out there, then I don't know what is.
Looking forward to your future entries :-) - August 29, 2007 at 8:58 PM
I received your e-bay item via e-mail today. Immediately after reading it I came to your blog site. You are extrememly talented in your writing and you truly remind me of and I think you are going to be the next late great Erma Bombeck. Best of luck to you!
- August 29, 2007 at 9:29 PM
- Dena said...
hey well I was sent a link to you pokemon ebay item and I just wanted to tell ya youare not alone. I am a mom to 7 kids. 5 boys and 2 girls. I feel you pain and your joys.
I just hated ppl always asking if they were all mine or commenting don't you belive in birth control??
I moved to Utah last year and all that stopped it is great.
Keep up the great work you are a great mom. - August 29, 2007 at 9:42 PM
What IS it about that word??!!
We have a mall on Butts Road. Really. Its Butts Road. So the kids always ask if they can go to the Butt Mall. And they can't keep a straight face saying it either! - August 29, 2007 at 9:43 PM
- piper said...
yay butt paste!
oh BTW, somehow TODAY I have had almost 300 hits on my site and they have all been refered to my blog from your blog. By way of the BlogHerAd thingy that one of my posts showed up on today. I am floored and amazed and grateful! How in the heck did you get so many people visiting you each day in such a short time?? YOWZA and WOWEEEE.
You are a hoot too!
Cheers! - August 29, 2007 at 9:45 PM
- Karen said...
I'd love to get a 12 pack like that - I'm fresh outta TP and of course forgot today at the grocery store. Where's Santa when you need him?
Your blog has become my daily fix. It's refreshing knowing that I'm not the only one living the domestic life with too many kids. - August 29, 2007 at 9:48 PM
- Christian Family said...
I LOVE your blog!!! I hope you don't mind...though I don't know you or Oprah, I emailed Opral to tell her about your blog(and your Pokeomon advertisement). So...I hope she visits your site...and who knows...maybe we will see you on Oprah soon!!!
- August 29, 2007 at 10:29 PM
- Tanya Willis Anderson said...
All I can say is, your book is gonna be good :) Funny post and SO true about the word 'butt'. My son and his friends do the same thing - must be a boy thing. Ha!
Tanya - August 29, 2007 at 11:14 PM
- Randee said...
I "ditto" everyone's comments about your blog/humor etc. Thot I'd share a funny from our house that I haven't seen on here. We have "laughing gass". All due to the nite my daughter (who was 4 at the time) giggled so much she farted (while we were all in bed reading stories). Thus "laughing gas"....always finds it's way into converation (and my daugther, now 8, can never seem to pass up an opportunity to continue laughing and "Squeezing" just to have some laughing gas. OY!
- August 29, 2007 at 11:29 PM
- The Estrogen Files said...
SCORE indeed! My kids like to play Christmas, too.
I'm a new reader to your blog, but I love it! I just gave you an award at my place! - August 29, 2007 at 11:52 PM
i have always wished that i was one of those people who could come up with witty retorts on the spot. i always blow it in real life and then think up a hundred things i could have said for weeks on end. that was a hilarious way to turn it on him.
- August 30, 2007 at 12:05 AM
Ah, the Target butt paste. The boys pulled this on me laughing hysterically until I said "Gross! Are you going to brush your teeth with butt paste again?" My eight year old was mortified and claimed he had nothing to do with his brothers prank. Uh huh. The whole guilt by laughing hysterically applies to this situation. :-) Target is a maze of great mom comebacks. Love this blog.
- August 30, 2007 at 12:22 AM
Oh, and something is wrong with my this dumb site. Every time I try to publish a comment it says that I have an incorrect password, so if you have time (LOL) I will just give you my blog. It's at http://theshawsentinel.blogspot.com
Chantel :):):):) - August 30, 2007 at 1:02 AM
Love the buttpaste story, especially your grocery store story on e-bay!
My 5 yr old sings I'm burping my butt all the time...... - August 30, 2007 at 7:49 AM
love the butpaste story! MY 5 yr old son sings: I'm burping my butt all the time!
- August 30, 2007 at 7:52 AM
- Unknown said...
I love how you turned it on your oldest..Funny how kids think they're so much smarter than their parents! Thanks for the laugh!
- August 30, 2007 at 1:16 PM
ok, don't know what happened to my other comment other than the fact my 15mo old hit my computer keyboard and sent it away. Anyways...chickenbutt is driving me insane lately!
My kids all day long: Do you know what I did?
Mommay: What?
Kids: Chickenbutt!
UGH! - August 30, 2007 at 1:48 PM
My 9 y.o. still thinks "butt" is the funniest word in the world. He will walk around the house, singing quietly, "butt butt butt butt BUUUUTTTT butt buttbutt" and then cackle maniacally. And he has the most maniacal cackle I've ever heard on a child. I defy anyone to not smile when he cackles. Or when he sings the Butt Butt Song.
- August 30, 2007 at 7:39 PM
- country mouse said...
My daughter is almost 20. And I should mention that I'm 40. The more things change, the more they stay the same .
: ) - August 30, 2007 at 8:54 PM
- Wendy said...
Must be a funny owrd for grown men too becaue my husband went out and came back with Buttpaste once. Just because of the name, we did have a child that needed it too.
The word of choice in our house right now is POOP! It's all about the poop! - August 30, 2007 at 11:25 PM
- Fingers To Toes Photography said...
:D LOL - too funny!!!!
- August 31, 2007 at 12:22 AM
- Lugal said...
Hello! I have never read a series of more articulate and well put together blogs... EVER! You are hilarious and you put us (the reader) right there with you. So entertaining, I just love your stuff! Thanks for making my friday enjoyable!
Now back to work, I think I see my mgr gopher heading over her cubicle.
Nat Burnett, Seattle (Found you on the Ebay Listing) - August 31, 2007 at 12:17 PM
This is sooooo crazy...a day right after reading this post my son was doing some homework and it said peanut butter.....and sure enough, he made sure he accentuated the "butt" part. peanut BUTTer, mommy is peanut BUTTer the right answer....only 7 years old.....I just couldn't stop laughing just because all I could think of was your blog.....too funny!!!
- August 31, 2007 at 12:43 PM
- peppylady (Dora) said...
Butt this Butt that is funny.
I found your blog from HiddenHaven (Peggy) - August 31, 2007 at 2:28 PM
- MelindaJane said...
Always check for whats in your cart.
- August 31, 2007 at 4:19 PM
A favorite memory in our household:
mom and dad sitting on the couch, reading the "butt_" page of the dictionary.
Try it sometime.
ROFL - August 31, 2007 at 8:29 PM
- B said...
ok so i am sitting here idlely reading sick as a dog as a matter of fact and all of a sudden i see you recieved T.P. for xmas lol it just made me laugh so hard. THanks,
Beverly Thacker Portland, TN - August 31, 2007 at 9:36 PM
- Honey said...
Butt is a favorite word around here too. When the boys get going they can come up with some pretty funny combinations. I love how you dealt with your son and the butt paste. LOL. That was too funny. Honey
- September 4, 2007 at 1:05 PM
- Tricia said...
Do your older kids like Mad Libs? Because hilarity always ensues if every 'part of the body' blank is filled in with 'butt.'
I'm 34, and still find this word hilarious. It's fun laughing like a 10-year-old with my 10-year-old. - September 7, 2007 at 3:23 PM


text:
Ohio State heavy favorites in Big Ten race
Published 1:45 am Tuesday, August 6, 2013
CHICAGO (AP) — By every measure, Urban Meyer's first season at Ohio State was a smashing success. The Buckeyes won all 12 games, and Braxton Miller developed into a superstar quarterback along the way.
That's all gone now, practically ancient history in football-mad Columbus. The pressure is on for a blockbuster sequel, even if Meyer himself is preoccupied with the opening scenes.
"Our job is to compete for championships in November. That's all I want them to think about," Meyer said. "A team is a complex animal that you got to be really careful how you approach things. Start talking about things that are way beyond even, I don't want to say expectations, but we don't talk about those things. We talk about we have to get to November to compete for a championship and that's complicated enough."
It sure is. While Miller and Ohio State begin the year as the Big Ten favorite, there are plenty of potential challengers.
Dynamic quarterback Devin Gardner thinks he's ready to lead Michigan back to the top of the conference. Taylor Martinez wants to put together another great year in his final season at Nebraska. Then there's Wisconsin, coming off a Rose Bowl trip and looking to make a smooth transition to new coach Gary Andersen, and Michigan State and more.
"I like our football team," Michigan coach Brady Hoke said. "I usually don't say that. I said it after the spring. I will continue to say it because I like how they've handled themselves on the field and off the field so far this summer. I like their work ethic, and I like how they've represented Michigan in a lot of ways."
Denard Robinson is gone after a stellar career, but Gardner is back to provide the same sort of sizzle in Michigan's backfield. The 6-foot-4 junior began last season at wide receiver, and then played quarterback for the last five games. He threw for 1,219 yards and 11 touchdowns against five interceptions, and also had 101 yards and seven TDs on the ground.
Gardner is a work in progress — "I have to start to checking the ball down. Always want the big play," he said — but his teammates have noticed a change in the former Detroit prep star since he became the starter behind center.
"He's grown right into it," senior safety Thomas Gordon said. "He's a lot more comfortable. You can see that."
While Gardner is the toast of Ann Arbor, he has a ways to go to match the celebrity that Martinez enjoys in Nebraska. The senior star, who accounted for a school-record 3,890 yards of offense and 33 touchdowns last season, spent more than an hour signing autographs during one recent trip to the mall.
Martinez has started 39 consecutive games for the Cornhuskers and will leave the school with several offensive records. While he will go down as one of the best players ever at the powerhouse program, he doesn't seem too concerned with his legacy headed into his final year.
"I've done a lot so far in my career, so I've just got to take this season for what it's worth and just enjoy it and just remember everything that happens," Martinez said.
Five things to watch in the Big Ten:
1. TOUGH UP FRONT: If you love the big guys up front, check out the offensive linemen of the Big Ten. Senior Jack Mewhort leads an experienced group for Ohio State, and Martinez raves about the unit at Nebraska. Michigan left tackle Taylor Lewan flirted with the NFL draft before deciding to return for one more season. He prepared for his final year by adopting a strict diet that he said helped increase his strength and quickness. "I've cheated a couple times, here and there," Lewan said. "I'm a sucker for ice cream."
2. DUAL THREATS: Miller, Gardner and Martinez will grab all the headlines, but they aren't the only Big Ten quarterbacks who can score through the air or on the ground. Northwestern's Kain Kolter helped the Wildcats to a 10-3 record last season and their first bowl victory since 1949. Illinois' Nathan Scheelhaase rushed for 303 yards and four touchdowns last year.
3. WHO'S THE NEW GUY: There are two new head coaches this year, with Andersen taking over at Wisconsin and Darrell Hazell going from Kent State to Purdue. The Badgers routed Nebraska in the Big Ten title game on Dec. 1, but Bret Bielema still decided to leave for Arkansas before Wisconsin's narrow loss to Stanford in the Rose Bowl. Enter Andersen, who left Utah State for quite the unusual transition with the Badgers. "There's going to be differences when you take over a program," Andersen said. "It's important to put your own stamp on it."
4. SLEEPERS: Pat Fitzgerald has coached Northwestern to five consecutive bowl berths, culminating in the Wildcats' 34-20 victory over Mississippi State in the Gator Bowl in January. Ohio State, Michigan and Michigan State come to Evanston this year, where Northwestern doesn't enjoy much of a home-field advantage but could begin to build one with a couple victories. Indiana also could surprise people, with 19 starters back from last year's 4-8 team.
5. GO DEEP: Penn State star Allen Robinson is the big name, but there are plenty of other solid receivers spread throughout the Big Ten. Kenny Bell (Nebraska), Jared Abbrederis (Wisconsin) and Jeremy Gallon (Michigan) each had over 800 yards receiving last season while averaging at least 16.9 yards per catch. Also keep a close eye on Cody Latimer (Indiana) and Corey Brown (Ohio State).
Predicted order of finish:
Legends: Michigan, Nebraska, Michigan State, Northwestern, Iowa, Minnesota.
Leaders: Ohio State, Wisconsin, Penn State, Indiana, Purdue, Illinois.
Title game winner: Ohio State.
AP college football site: http://collegefootball.ap.org
Jay Cohen can be reached at http://www.twitter.com/jcohenap

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Monday, January 21, 2008
62 comments:
Hi Dawn, Oh My...Is that paint going to dry and unable to remove? Next time they paint with green paint wait till summer and set them in the middle of the lawn.LOL Kristine in Michigan.
- January 21, 2008 at 7:53 PM
- Unknown said...
Now I don't feel so bad after seeing your mess! I kept hearing running upstairs and found my 3 year-old running back and forth through my bathroom. There was water everywhere. She was making 'footprints' (thanks to a Blue's Clues video) I choose water over green paint!
- January 21, 2008 at 7:57 PM
Hee hee hee! You poor thing. When I saw the Florida, I meant to tell you how cool I thought that was and how nice a job he was doing. I guess I won't say anything about paint now. That doesn't look like it will be fun to clean. Are you ever able to get the perpetrators to help you clean up, or is that pretty much not happening? I do hope you know of something to get paint off ... everything. Silicone spatula, yep, that comes off (I would assume). The rest of it; well, I'm taking notes for when my kids get older!
Good luck, Dawn!
Michelle - January 21, 2008 at 8:14 PM
- Dawn said...
They absolutely do help clean up. Austin cleaned up his Florida mess last night and hand washed the spatula. Joe and I did most of the floor cleaning today, but Jackson volunteered to help too! I about had a heart attack. - January 21, 2008 at 8:19 PM
Oh you poor woman the only thing I could think to say when I finished laughing was at least it's not on the carpet.
- January 21, 2008 at 8:37 PM
I feel your pain! That's why my kids are only allowed to paint when dad is home (he's the artist anyway)! I hope that was washable paint!
- January 21, 2008 at 8:48 PM
See .. you're such a good mom, Dawn! A kid volunteered to help clean up a mess. You've officially succeeded with him. I dream of the day I get someone to offer to help (ok, my 2 year old insisting she sweep her crumbs from under the table doesn't count).
Michelle - January 21, 2008 at 8:56 PM
- Keren said...
I'm impressed that underneath the green paint, your floors look so clean and shiny. Also, I know this is random, but I have to comment on the fact that I have the same cow magnet that's on your fridge (my husband and I have a running joke about cows since I'm from Chicago)!
- January 21, 2008 at 9:00 PM
- AutoSysGene said...
Oy, I would so lose my mind! Good thing you like your kids, huh?
- January 21, 2008 at 9:08 PM
THAT is friggin hilarious. Sorry, it didn't happen to me, so I find it funny. Coincedentally, I let my 23 mth old grandson paint for the very 1st time ever today. Those pictures are what I expected my house to look like, but he was surprisingly neat. I sat next to him the entire time and I rinsed the brush for him, but he stayed on the paper. It was fun :)
Now, honestly tell us what your reaction was when you 1st saw that mess. I won't think any less of you ;) - January 21, 2008 at 9:08 PM
Did I jinx you yesterday with my comment about being impressed that you can let your kids paint unattended?
Oops. Sorry. - January 21, 2008 at 9:25 PM
- judee d said...
LOL. I can remember messes like that when I had littlies. Now mine are grown up with littlies of their own and they complain of these sorts of messes.
I always say it is still a clean mess. Nothing a little soap and water will not fix.
Keep smiling and healthy
Victoria Australia - January 21, 2008 at 9:32 PM
- Rick said...
Looks like you got a case of Florida melting all over your house. It's a good thing that they weren't trying to recreate Alaska!
http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/ - January 21, 2008 at 9:32 PM
Gosh its nice to know that you too have those days.
I meant to comment on the post you did about the permanent marker picture on your table. My 4 year old got into my stash of multicolored permanent markers and wrote on everything and I mean everything. The doors one that is unfinsihed on the front of our house the steps the walls........ Hes a smart one too he wrote his NAME!!!! I noticed it when I moved a curtain in our hallway upstairs to see if it was snowing. UGHHHHHH I said to Noah did you do this. HAON (Noah written backwards dont ask he's in a phase) He said NOPE Sawyer did it. When I told him Sawyer who is 3 doesnt know how to write his name Noah didnt say another word just hung his head. Good grief!!
Dawn darling you just may be my saving grace. Its nice to know we are in the same boat. On a cheery note at least our boat is filled with beautiful artwork. - January 21, 2008 at 9:49 PM
- Nicki said...
OMG! How do you survive everyday?? I sure hope that's washable paint! YIKES!
- January 21, 2008 at 9:54 PM
- Julie said...
This may be a small comfort, but at least they wash their hands!!! (And with SOAP even!)
I have to remind my kids to wash their hands ALL THE TIME - it drives me a little NUTTY. - January 21, 2008 at 10:19 PM
- TheFatSister said...
I'm diggin' your title to this one. I'm amazed that we moms get anything done with all the 'undoing' we do all day.
- January 21, 2008 at 10:23 PM
- Amie said...
Oh gosh, I seriously feel for you! I think if this happened to me, one child would be out looking for a new home! ;)
- January 21, 2008 at 10:37 PM
- Sally Jo said...
I'm glad I'm not the only mother that has to deal with stuff like that.... I only turned around for a minute and wham.... I feel you pain, good luck cleaning it up!
- January 21, 2008 at 10:46 PM
- Lucille said...
I'm sorry to chuckle at it, but you did too, right?
Thank you for doing what you do. You are my shot of B12 Miss Dawn!
I needed it - especially today.
Hope you have stock in Brawny or some other good paper towel - HEY Brawny - how bout you send her some free towels? :) - January 21, 2008 at 10:46 PM
It could be worse - it could have been vegetable oil (like the time my son anointed himself in the middle of the kitchen floor). He had a great time playing in the stuff but it was a full week until we weren't sliding all over the kitchen floor...
- January 21, 2008 at 10:51 PM
- EnjoyingLife said...
Oh...My...GAWD... PLease tell me it's washable paint. ;) I feel you pain. Mine did the same on my newly painted walls with Black Permanente Marker. Mr. Clean Magic Eraser rally is magic. Just thought I'd pass that along. ;)
- January 21, 2008 at 11:08 PM
- nutralady2001 said...
It IS water soluble, right? ........
Oh that reminds me yes am sending stuff from where I live here in Australia,just need to get organized and get to the Tourist Bureau lol - January 21, 2008 at 11:28 PM
- ~Jenifer~ said...
I was just sitting here catching up on your blog and found out about Julian. I can not even pretend to know what it is like to lose a child. My Nephew died about 3 years ago after battling for 2 and 1/2 years so I was really touched and was brought to tears (even as I type). I wish this family all they need to mend and heal and still trust in God.
My prayers are with them.
Jenifer Coverdale
Dillsburg, PA - January 21, 2008 at 11:37 PM
- Kyddryn said...
Well...at least the little darlin' in question came in to wash hands. That's good isn't it?
I have a two-hundred-year-old farm table in my kitchen...battered, beaten, scarred and marked over the years. My ONE son has added his touch to the generations with water colors and a bit of marker. I imagine if I had more than the one, I'd never need a table cloth.
What do you use to get the paint off...everything??? - January 21, 2008 at 11:39 PM
- miss r said...
Ditto the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser! I teach kindergarten and whenever there's paint involved the magic eraser is handy.
A tip for a busy lady like yourself, let them draw/write in men's shaving cream on a dingy floor. It's fun for them and the alcohol cleans up the floor nicely. All you have to do is wipe/mop it clean. I let my students do this on their tabletops once a quarter to clean 'em up. - January 21, 2008 at 11:50 PM
How about an entire 100 ounce jug of liquid Tide dumped in the MIDDLE of the BEIGE living room carpet? The folks at the carpet cleaner places all laughed at me when I called for their help. You know how that stuff is BRIGHT BLUE? We finally rented a steam cleaner from the grocery store. It took my husband 3 hours to keep spraying and rinsing until the soap stopped sudsing up.
- January 22, 2008 at 12:21 AM
Hi Dawn,
My most recent "painting adventure" was with my 4 year old. He got tired of painting HIS picture and decided to paint the dog's toenails PURPLE. After the toenails, he moved onto the dog's paws. Nothing like playing "Blue's Clues" in my own house looking for all the purple pawprints. A CLUE, A CLUE... Ahhh, the memories!
It's a good thing that you keep your sense of humor! What a good Mom. : )
Lisa K, San Antonio, Tx - January 22, 2008 at 12:46 AM
That's the funniest thing I've ever seen!!!
- January 22, 2008 at 2:01 AM
- Shellie said...
Why does that look so very familiar?? It is spooky, oh so spooky sometimes... Then once I had to go to the bathroom while the kids were painting and by the time I got back (and I was not constipated or anything, we are talking maybe 5 minutes top) they had painted their arms, faces and the walls.
- January 22, 2008 at 2:49 AM
Awwwwwww Dawn you have been fibbing to us? That is at least 3 sections of floor with no kid-stuff to trip over lol. Look on the bright side though - the painter kids washed their hands without having to be told 17 times! And with soap too!!! I'm impressed lol.
Just keep reminding yourself - they will have kids of their own one day and you get to sit back and giggle - January 22, 2008 at 2:58 AM
- Becky said...
Oh. My. Word! I so hope that wasn't model paint. That stuff doesn't come out of anything!
What a good mom you are to allow artistic expression...I've been guilty of forbidding such things because I didn't want the hassle of cleaning up. Of course my toddler takes revenge by getting into my craft drawers while daddy is 'watching' him, and stamping blue stamp pads all over my white bedding.
But then dinner table conversation in our old age would sure be boring if not for these sorts of stories to reminisce about! - January 22, 2008 at 3:04 AM
- Autumn said...
Oh that's classic!! That was us on Saturday. We were building a little snowman, and my son wanted to 'dress him up' so I let him go get a scarf from his sisters room. Please wipe your feet before you go in the house. Yep, go in the house 20 minutes later and there are little puddles of water all over the floor. Of course, I didn't notice until I sank my socked foot into one of these very cold puddles.
- January 22, 2008 at 8:39 AM
- Bronie said...
Hi Dawn!
I was actually relieved to find out that it was paint. I thought maybe Joe was treating you guys to that "special" fish again! - January 22, 2008 at 9:11 AM
Mmmmmmm ...... green used to be my favorite color. Now I'm thinking transparent.
Also I'm with Keren .... I am way impressed how clean and glossy your floors are with 6 very active children running about.
You must have more than 24 hours in your day. - January 22, 2008 at 9:15 AM
- nomi said...
THAT was WONDERFUL! What a great way to start my morning! Note to MYSELF: never buy green paint!
- January 22, 2008 at 9:36 AM
- Veggiemomof2 said...
I thought maybe the lime fish was coming back to exact his revenge! LOL
- January 22, 2008 at 9:50 AM
- Mrs. Schmitty said...
At least they washed their hands!
- January 22, 2008 at 10:09 AM
- Tammy said...
I can't say I would be happy with the green paint mess! But in light of Julian passing, I would cheerfully clean a million green paint messes rather than lose a child.
It's all in the perspective, and you seem to have a huge sense of humor and love!
Thank you for sharing! - January 22, 2008 at 10:10 AM
It is so nice to see that all kids do crazy stuff. When mine were younger I thought I'd lose my mind!
Here's a question off the subject, possibly for your Sunday Sound Out...my husband and I are planning a baseball trip for this summer and the Cubs are on our list...what restaurants would you recommend we try in your fine city?
Thanks! - January 22, 2008 at 10:46 AM
When I saw the title of the post I just knew what I was going to see. Bless you for documenting it, and not strangling the little perpetrators. I had a friend with 3 little boys who painted her brand new car with bright blue house paint. She screamed and yelled and ranted and raved everytime they tested her patience and they eventually learned to tune her out. They have all had their problems with authority growing up and even tangled with the law. If keep your cool when your children are little, your problems will be little. Choose your battles and know that your children will remember your laughter a lot longer than your anger.
- January 22, 2008 at 10:50 AM
- C-Rah said...
Oh good LORD. What a mess. Reminds me of the time my baby brother threw baby powder all over the room in big, white, puffy clouds.
- January 22, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Hi Dawn! It looks like leprechauns have invaded your house....
I gotta say, I love your blog. It's the first one I read every day. You sound like an awesome family! Thank you for sharing your life w/ us, warts, green fingerprints & all! - January 22, 2008 at 12:04 PM
How do you keep from beating your children on a daily basis. You would have to hide all the wooden spoons in the house from me!
- January 22, 2008 at 12:23 PM
- Unknown said...
OMG! I guess I shouldn't complain about my kids spilling an entire bottle of bleach on our carpeted basement floor . . .
- January 22, 2008 at 12:30 PM
When my daughter was about 5 she painted my car! I had been painting her room (pink, purple, mint green and all the other lovely girly colors) and left the paint trays outside over night with the paint brushes in them... when the next morning I when to clean up the paint mess and found my car painted in all the girly colors! And about your nice clean and shiny floors I bet they were freshly sweeped and mopped right? That's how it is my house anyways... the messes never happen just before I clean my floor they happen just after!
- January 22, 2008 at 12:38 PM
Well, at least by doing this blog, you've got great documentation for laughs in the future-- because these things magically get funny later--much later, like when you have grandkids and your kids are the lucky ones who get to clean up the green paint from every surface of their homes.
- January 22, 2008 at 12:38 PM
How funny! Kinda looks like my house last night - my little ones (2 1/2 and 3 1/2) wanted to color so my daughter (11) was charged with watching them at the table while I did some laundrey. Next thing I know, my 2 year old has painted his hands - front and back- and his cheeks, and my dining room table (luckily with washable paints!), all while my 11 year old "watched" and "didn't see him do it". Gotta love their creative genius!
- January 22, 2008 at 1:09 PM
Holy cow! I'm so sorry--but that's so terribly funny! I hope it cleans off easily for you.
Okay, now I'm going to go enjoy my one child who is still stationary. (Though I hope to take things in stride as well as you do when I have a house full of mobile children one day!) :)
Happy Tuesday, Dawn! - January 22, 2008 at 2:08 PM
- Leah said...
OH NO!!! LOL My heart skipped a beat there momentarily as I imagined myself in your shoes having to clean that up. And then I imagined myself handing over babywipes and paper towels and making the kids doing some of the work themselves and suddenly the world seemed okay again. LOL My floors could always use a good scrubbing seems like, anyway, so some green paint might just be a good incentive. hee hee!!
And hey, at least they washed their hands!!!! - January 22, 2008 at 4:03 PM
Why is having fun so messy?! All the fun artsy things, like the Florida map and the green paint make such a mess, but what can you do? I love it when my son scribbles me a beautiful drawing, even if he gets blue marker all over his face while he's at it.
- January 22, 2008 at 4:33 PM
Hee, hee. That reminds me of the time my nephew painted his baby brother blue, then set him free in the house. Blue streaks, blue smears, blue handprints, and a blue buttprint right in the middle of the living room. How do they think these things up?!?!?
Sarah - January 22, 2008 at 5:30 PM
- Tammy B said...
i'm sorry but i am laughing SO hard! but trust me i do feel your pain!
- January 22, 2008 at 6:54 PM
- wencanscrap said...
Oh no...
- January 22, 2008 at 7:03 PM
- Alison said...
Dawn, I'm so glad that other houses sport that beautiful pre- spring-is-almost-here-so-let's-make-some-"art"-look. Our footprints, handprints, and face prints (don't ask, but it did take me days to get the "permanent" marker off someone's face --he looked like a 20 month old with a half goatie) were brown, though because two of the four boys wanted to recreate the BROWN bionicle. :-) Lego really needs to start making pastel Bionicles.
- January 22, 2008 at 7:11 PM
- Debi said...
LOL, I know it's not funny but I so appreciate you sharing this with us. You made my day!
- January 22, 2008 at 8:15 PM
Boy, that looks familiar. I figure I will have nice furniture and a clean freshly painted house when the kids grow up. I sure don't have it now. :)
- January 22, 2008 at 8:19 PM
- CohoesMom5 said...
I have been meaning to post a comment for months but never seem to have enough time. I read your blog at work but our firewall blocks access to the picture and to the comments. So I have to save up enough energy to check out your blog at night.
I have only 5 kids and used to yell at them for every little thing. Since I found your blog this summer, I have tried to find the humor in what they do instead of just yelling. It is really hard but I am getting better at it.
I read your post a couple of weeks ago about how Clay gets the cookies from the top of the fridge. I thought to myself, "at least Markian (my 8 3/4 year old) climbs on the counter next to the fridge to reach the top." The following weekend he walks into our bathroom while I am in there to get a bandaid because his chin is bleeding. I ask him what happened and eventually he tells me - he fell off the fridge when he was trying to reach the snacks. I couldn't understand how he got to the top of the fridge until he told me that he fell off the "step" explained it was the ice dispenser. I just laughed, cleaned up his cut, thanked God that it wasn't worse, and asked if he was going to do that again. He said, "No, I'll just get a chair." - January 22, 2008 at 9:23 PM
- Tricia said...
That so tops the day my daughter decided to see what happens with you throw eggs on the kitchen floor. Twelve of them. But at least it was contained to the kitchen floor!
- January 23, 2008 at 2:49 PM
HA HA!!! That is SOOO Funny - especially since it was you and not me ;)
I'm so proud of your kids though, they washed their hands when they finished. That's GREAT! LOL! - January 23, 2008 at 10:24 PM
- Elizabeth Byler Younts said...
fabulous! sounds like you have a very busy household. i love the picture you have on the top of your blog, so adorable!
- January 24, 2008 at 12:10 AM
- Gina said...
OMG... That is too funny. OF course not to you. That is something my girls would do even though they are 2 & 3. How long did that take you to clean up?
- January 24, 2008 at 10:54 PM


text:
When it comes to wireless networks in the U.S. there are many claims bandied about by the various providers. Each clams to have the nation's fastest or most reliable network; and each claim is seemingly backed up by little verifiable data for the most part.
AT&T is the second largest wireless provider in America behind Verizon. AT&T is also one of the most maligned networks in the country thanks to what is widely perceived as a shoddy 3G network. In many cities large and small, the 3G coverage of AT&T is spotty and at times non-existent making for many irate customers. AT&T's wireless network ranked last in customer satisfaction in a Consumer Reports study conducted in December 2009.
AT&T maintains that the poor performance in some of its markets for its 3G network is due in part the huge amount of bandwidth that iPhone wielding customers consume. AT&T has seemingly brought the ire of analysts and customers on itself and also reportedly spends less on their wireless infrastructure than Verizon and third place Sprint per customer.
PC World reports that analysts from research firm TownHall investment Research estimate that AT&T needs to spend about $5 billion on its wireless network to catch up to the coverage that Verizon offers.
TownHall reports that AT&T has spent $308 per customer on its network over the last three years compared to $353 per customer from Verizon and $310 per customer from Sprint. AT&T spends more on its wired network than it does on its wireless network according to analysts.
Ironically, the wired network makes less money for AT&T than its wireless services. AT&T is said to get 57% of its operating income from wireless and only 35% from wired services. At the same time, wireless services only get 34% of AT&T's capital expenditure while wired services get 65%. AT&T apparently wants to change that situation though.
AT&T has asked the FCC to drop regulations that require it to support its aging wired network despite the fact that the use of the network is declining. AT&T has asked the FCC to provide a deadline for phasing out wired service around the country. If the FCC agrees, AT&T will have much more funds available for its wireless network. Whether or not the FCC will agree to the request is unknown.
TownHall's Gerard Hallaren figures that the amount AT&T needs to spend on its network could balloon to $7 billion thanks to the need for additional backhaul capability. AT&T is already adding additional backhaul capability to its towers in preparation for rolling out its faster HSPA 7.2 service and the transition to LTE networks starting in 2011.
Hallaren says, "This is going to be a juggling act for them [AT&T]."
The iPhone has been keeping many customers tied to AT&T thanks to the exclusive deal between AT&T and Apple. That exclusive arrangement is expected to end by the middle of 2010 – at that point, many expect to see a mass exodus of customers as they move from the AT&T network .