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When my copy arrived, I was surprised to discover that Comfort Food is actually a novel, and not a memoir as I had for some reason thought. I was hooked from the first paragraph — which mentions five kinds of birthday cake — and stayed up way past my bedtime that night reading. This is the kind of book you want to both devour and savor, and after I finished the last page I was tempted to turn right back to the beginning and start all over so I could keep hanging out with the characters. When I saw the unabridged audio version at the library the other day (I'm addicted to audio books!) I immediately snapped it up - and was doubly delighted to discover that it's read by Barbara Rosenblat, one of my favorite recording artists. The book is just as delicious the second time around.
Kate Jacobs' first novel was the runaway bestseller The Friday Night Knitting Club, which I'm looking forward to reading. (Have you read it?) Kate says that Comfort Food is about "food, family, friendships, and overcoming frustrations," and that's all I'm going to tell you except that the book made me laugh, cry — and hungry. If you get annoyed when the characters in novels continually go out to eat but the author never lets you know what they order (or they never seem to eat at all!) then you're going to love this book. It revolves entirely around food. The characters don't just go to the farmers' market — they discuss what they could do with all the fresh bounty while they're there. Gus, the main character, "loved to talk about food. Late at night, if she couldn't sleep, she would read cookbooks out loud to herself until she relaxed."
Ready for more than a taste? I have two hardcover copies of Comfort Food to give away, and each of them comes with a special bonus - a handy dandy canvas totebag emblazoned with the gorgeous book cover art. It's the perfect size for packing your groceries, goodies from the farmers' market, or practically anything else. I use mine constantly.
Just leave a comment in this post between now and next Thursday, July 3rd, and tell us about your favorite comfort foods. I'll randomly pick two winners and announce them a day or two (or three or four) after that. Sorry, but the books can only be shipped to U.S. addresses.
I can't wait to see your comments. And if you're like me and love to read about what other people eat, check out my Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant book review post from last year, where dozens of readers revealed what they secretly eat when they're all alone in the kitchen. If you haven't contributed yet, please feel free to add to the wonderful list.
* I've decided this isn't something I'm going to pursue now, but I sure was thrilled to be asked!
© Copyright 2008 FarmgirlFare.com, the award-winning blog where we never get tired of reading or eating - and prefer to do them simultaneously.


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Kansas Couple's Home Gets Raided For Buying Indoor Gardening Supplies
Two former CIA employees whose Kansas home was fruitlessly searched for marijuana during a two-state drug sweep claim they were illegally targeted, possibly because they had bought indoor growing supplies to raise vegetables.
Adlynn and Robert Harte sued this week to get more information about why sheriff's deputies searched their home in the upscale Kansas City suburb of Leawood last April 20 as part of Operation Constant Gardener — a sweep conducted by agencies in Kansas and Missouri that netted marijuana plants, processed marijuana, guns, growing paraphernalia and cash from several other locations.
April 20 long has been used by marijuana enthusiasts to celebrate the illegal drug and more recently by law enforcement for raids and crackdowns. But the Hartes' attorney, Cheryl Pilate, said she suspects the couple's 1,825-square-foot split level was targeted because they had bought hydroponic equipment to grow a small number of tomatoes and squash plants in their basement.
"With little or no other evidence of any illegal activity, law enforcement officers make the assumption that shoppers at the store are potential marijuana growers, even though the stores are most commonly frequented by backyard gardeners who grow organically or start seedlings indoors," the couple's lawsuit says.
The couple filed the suit this week under the Kansas Open Records Act after Johnson County and Leawood denied their initial records requests, with Leawood saying it had no relevant records. The Hartes say the public has an interest in knowing whether the sheriff's department's participation in the raids was "based on a well-founded belief of marijuana use and cultivation at the targeted addresses, or whether the raids primarily served a publicity purpose."
"If this can happen to us and we are educated and have reasonable resources, how does somebody who maybe hasn't led a perfect life supposed to be free in this country?" Adlynn Harte said in an interview Friday.
The suit filed in Johnson County District Court said the couple and their two children — a 7-year-old daughter and 13-year-old son — were "shocked and frightened" when deputies armed with assault rifles and wearing bulletproof vests pounded on the door of their home around 7:30 a.m. last April 20.
"It was just like on the cops TV shows," Robert Harte told The Associated Press. "It was like 'Zero Dark Thirty' ready to storm the compound."
During the sweep, the court filing said, the Hartes were told they had been under surveillance for months, but the couple "know of no basis for conducting such surveillance nor do they believe such surveillance would have produced any facts supporting the issuance of a search warrant."
Harte said he built the hydroponic garden with his son a couple of years ago. He said they didn't use the powerful light bulbs that are sometimes used to grow marijuana and that the family's electricity usage didn't change dramatically. Changes in utility usage can sometimes lead authorities to such operations.
When law enforcement arrived, the family had just six plants — three tomato plants, one melon plant and two butternut squash plants — growing in the basement, Harte said.
The suit also said deputies "made rude comments" and implied their son was using marijuana. A drug-sniffing dog was brought in to help, but deputies ultimately left after providing a receipt stating, "No items taken."
Pilate said no one in the Harte family uses illegal drugs and no charges were filed. The lawsuit noted Adlynn Harte, who works for a financial planning firm, and Robert Harte, who cares for the couple's children, each were required to pass rigorous background checks for their previous jobs working for the CIA in Washington, D.C. Pilate said she couldn't provide any other details about their CIA employment.
Pilate said any details gleaned from the open records suit could be used in a future federal civil rights lawsuit.
"You can't go into people's homes and conduct searches without probable cause," Pilate said.
Leawood City Administrator Scott Lambers said Friday that he couldn't comment on pending litigation. The sheriff's office also had no comment.
"Obviously with an ongoing lawsuit we are not able to talk about any details of it until it's been played out in court," said Johnson County Deputy Tom Erickson.
This story originally published by the Associated Press on their Big Story AP Blog
Visit: EZ Battery Reconditioning To Learn More here: http://www.survivalistdaily.com/ezbatteryreconditioning
1 Comment
Raymond April 1, 00:58
I would've taken the Receipt, torn it up and thrown into the Deputy's faces. "Here! Your Receipt is rejected! Munch On It!"


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Friday, January 8, 2010
Torpedo Rolls - Foodie Friday
From the kitchen of One Perfect Bite...Why torpedo rolls? I've been searching for a recipe that would produce a roll similar to the one that is used to make a banh mi, or Vietnamese sandwich. In the course of that search I stumbled on this recipe. While this wouldn't work as the base for a banh mi, I can happily report it does make a wonderful Italian-style submarine sandwich. The roll lacks the crackly crust associated its French or Italian counterparts, but it has a lovely soft interior that makes for a wonderful sandwich. These rolls are easy to do if you have a stand mixer with a dough hook. The machine really does all the work and no kneading is required. The dough is soft and very sticky and you may need to flour your hands to form the rolls. Resist the temptation to add too much flour to the dough as you mix it. I stop adding flour when the dough leaves the sides of the bowl and climbs the dough hook. You can select the shape you want to make. I've chosen torpedo rolls which are coincidentally named for their resemblance to torpedoes. I've also used the recipe to make sandwich rolls. To be truthful the recipe can also be used to make wonderful dinner rolls. For under $4 you can have 16 sandwich or torpedo rolls or 3 dozen dinner rolls that taste a bit like challah. My biggest problem is having the rolls ready when I want to use them. I usually make a double batch and freeze them for future use. I've cut back - way back - on the amount of sugar used in the original recipe. I know you'll love these if you give them a try. Here's the recipe.
Torpedo Rolls...from the kitchen of One Perfect Bite adapted from The Pastry Queen by Rebecca Rather
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
1 cup lukewarm water
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 large egg
1/3 to 3/4 cup granulated sugar (I use 1/3 cup)
1-1/2 cups water
6-1/2 cups all-purpose or bread flour
1 tablespoon kosher or sea salt
Pinch of ground cinnamon
Extra-virgin olive oil to brush on warm rolls
1) In the large bowl of a stand mixer, sprinkle yeast over 1 cup of warm water. Let sit for 5 minutes, or until foamy. Add vegetable oil, egg, sugar and remaining 1-1/2 cups water and mix, using dough hook, until well combined. Add flour a cup at a time. Mix on medium-low speed until dough holds together, about 5 minutes. If it does not come together add water a tablespoon at a time until it does. Let dough rest in mixing bowl for 20 minutes to relax. Add salt and cinnamon and mix dough for 1 minute on low speed. Transfer to an oiled bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise in a warm spot until doubled in volume, about 90 minutes.
2) Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line two baking sheets or cookie pans with parchment paper. Set aside.
3) Punch dough down. If it's sticky, flour your hands. If making dinner rolls, pinch off and roll golf ball-size pieces of dough. If making sandwich or torpedo rolls, pinch off tennis ball-sized pieces or dough and shape them as you choose. Place rolls on prepared pans, leaving 2-inches of space between them. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let sit for about 20 minutes, or until rolls feel like soft marshmallows. Bake for 20 to 30 minutes, or until rolls are golden brown. Remove from oven and brush very lightly with olive oil. Rolls may be served hot or at room temperature. Yield: 16 torpedo or 32 dinner rolls.
This recipe is being linked to:
Designs By Gollum - Foodie Friday
This recipe is linked to:
Wild Yeast - Yeast Spotting
53 comments :
- Mary | Deep South Dish said...
Sure looks good!
- January 8, 2010 at 1:19 AM
- surfingtheworldcuisine said...
Very beautiful rolls! Must be delicious with some smoked turkey and vegetables!
- January 8, 2010 at 1:36 AM
- bj said...
ummm, these look devine, Mary..
- January 8, 2010 at 2:45 AM
- Rattlebridge Farm said...
I love food quests of any kind, and I enjoyed reading about your adventure with Torpedo Rolls. Wow, they look good.
- January 8, 2010 at 3:16 AM
- Martha said...
These look wonderful -- I should try them for I love the smell of baking bread especially on these snowy days!
- January 8, 2010 at 3:26 AM
- Diary From Africa said...
These look dainty and delicious and I bet would make a lovely sandwich roll, as you say. I like the addition of cinnamon to the dough - it sounds interesting ... unusual, too ! Hope you have a wonderful 2010 ....
- January 8, 2010 at 3:27 AM
- Unknown said...
What a treat these will be. I am excited! Lovely helpful directions. Thankyou!
- January 8, 2010 at 6:32 AM
- Donna-FFW said...
Gorgeous rolls. I so have to try my hand at bread. No excuse not too, and it looks so worth the time and effort.
- January 8, 2010 at 6:48 AM
- KathyB. said...
I love to make and bake breads and rolls and these look a real treat!
- January 8, 2010 at 6:53 AM
- Hootin Anni said...
They do look perfect in every way. I bet your home is just filled with all the richness of fragrances while you cook/bake away to your hearts content. [and there is nothing compared to the fragrance of bread baking!!]
Happy Friday Mary! - January 8, 2010 at 8:00 AM
- Megan said...
I'm trying these. I think my daughter would love these for packing her lunch. She likes that soft roll type bread and they are not cheap. This sounds like a perfect solution. Cheap, easy, and a perfect bite! (hehehe)
- January 8, 2010 at 8:55 AM
- noble pig said...
I've never seen these, and they are beautiful.
- January 8, 2010 at 9:32 AM
- George Gaston said...
Mary, I'd like to order a "baker's dozen" please! These look absolutely delicious.
Thanks for the terrific recipe... - January 8, 2010 at 9:36 AM
- Claudia said...
Wow, Mary - they are perfect! I love the name torpedo rolls. Do you take orders?
- January 8, 2010 at 9:56 AM
- Joy Tilton said...
Looks like I'll be baking bread today! Thanks Mary and have a great weekend...joycee
- January 8, 2010 at 10:04 AM
- Karen said...
This looks like it would be a really tender bread - sounds so delicious, I may give them a try!
- January 8, 2010 at 10:09 AM
- Federica Simoni said...
complimenti per la bellissima ricetta e foto!
- January 8, 2010 at 11:48 AM
- The Cooking Photographer said...
Wow. Those are really neat Mary!
- January 8, 2010 at 11:51 AM
- Inspired by eRecipeCards said...
very very good... I am on a bread kick, and will be making these soon...
BTW, I made another batch of Anadama rolls from your recipe... this time, with sesame seeds on teh top and they were terrific! - January 8, 2010 at 11:58 AM
- Inspired by eRecipeCards said...
Mary... have you done a hamburger bun recipe? i am looking for one to start for this evening, so get back to me and leave a comment on my site if you have ASAP... and thanks
- January 8, 2010 at 11:59 AM
- Shellbelle said...
I've always wanted to make homemade sandwich rolls, but thought they would be difficult. You make this sound doable for someone like me. Thanks for sharing this recipe Mary.
- January 8, 2010 at 12:38 PM
- The Blonde Duck said...
I like them for the name alone!
- January 8, 2010 at 1:35 PM
- Yvonne @ StoneGable said...
Hi Mary, I am so glad you came to visit, and through that I found you. What a mouth-watering blog!
And just so beautiful. I was peeking at a few of your recipes. Yummy.
You make me want to bake, and that is an endeover I don't do often.
I LOVE to cook, but baking is to precise. I have just of late had my interest peaked, and your blog just may win me over.
I am your newest follower. Keep the yumminess coming!
Yvonne - January 8, 2010 at 1:41 PM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Welcome, Yvonne. We try to keep things different and interesting. I'm so glad you decided to follow us.
- January 8, 2010 at 1:52 PM
- ♥Sugar♥Plum♥Fairy♥ said...
Oh Mary-thanx a ton to ya i found ur wonderfull blog full of elicious recipes and most of all a wonderfull u...
Sure these rolls look fantastic though i know nothing of the background u mentioned but love to hear-and i sure would love 'em when i try 'em out.... - January 8, 2010 at 3:56 PM
- Mike said...
Those look like the perfect home for some choice bahn mi fillings. Beautiful rolls!
- January 8, 2010 at 4:27 PM
- The Tablescaper said...
These look delicious, but I must admit, I haven't played around with yeast in years. I'm about to scroll down to your individual quiche recipe which looks much more my speed.
- The Tablescaper - January 8, 2010 at 4:29 PM
- Sharon said...
Wow, those are seriously beautiful rolls!
- January 8, 2010 at 4:29 PM
- Joyce said...
Now finally someone who knows what a torpedo roll really is. When I ask for these down south they sort of look at me funny. I forget that different areas of the country call rolls and sandwiches by different names ex: hero sandwich, hoagie, foot long etc.
Joyce - January 8, 2010 at 4:43 PM
- Designs on 47th Street said...
Hi there. I'm so glad I linked to Foodie Friday today and that you stopped by to see me. I had lost you! You always have the best recipes and these rolls are no exception. Thank you for another great recipe. I hope you enjoy my white chili.
Donna - January 8, 2010 at 5:19 PM
- Helen said...
Thanks for stopping by .... your blog header photo One Perfect Bite is indeed perfect!
- January 8, 2010 at 5:37 PM
- Lea Ann said...
Saving this one. I just got a stand mixer for Christmas and am doing some break experimenting. Thanks for the recipe.
- January 8, 2010 at 6:16 PM
- Memória said...
These look great!! They almost look like bolillos for Mexican tortas. I'm bookmarking this recipe!
- January 8, 2010 at 6:31 PM
- Kristen said...
I am going to have to try these. I have been looking for a good sandwich roll.
- January 8, 2010 at 8:09 PM
- The Chef In My Head said...
Dear Mary,
So it's now begun...I have to start learning how to bake bread. I made your beer bread earlier this week and my husband hasn't stopped talking about how good it was. I will try these Torpedo Rolls this weekend. Gee Mary, what have you started??? :-)) LeslieMichele - January 8, 2010 at 8:42 PM
- Unknown said...
Torpedo Rolls sure sound out of this world and look delicious. You continue to amaze me with the finds on your site. You are one busy lady.
Happy Twirls - January 8, 2010 at 8:42 PM
- Nancy Jane said...
When I show these to my husband, I know he'll want me to try them right away. I can think of lots of delightful fillings to complement these beauties... Nancy
- January 8, 2010 at 10:01 PM
- xinex said...
Mmmmm, I love yummy home baked bread...Christine
- January 8, 2010 at 10:29 PM
- Pam said...
They look golden brown and perfect - you are the best bread baker Mary.
- January 8, 2010 at 11:38 PM
- Alicia said...
My mouth is watering. I can just imagine the delicious smells that must come from your kitchen when you're baking these!
- January 9, 2010 at 12:13 AM
- Coleens Recipes said...
The shape of these rolls makes them extremely versatile!! Great job!!!
- January 9, 2010 at 1:20 AM
- Troy said...
Wow, I can smell them baking just by looking at the picture!
They sound wonderful.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
Troy - January 9, 2010 at 3:11 AM
- My Little Space said...
Perfect looking roll for my sandwiches!
- January 9, 2010 at 3:25 AM
- Katy ~ said...
I've been craving the activity of making bread. These rolls look superb!
- January 9, 2010 at 9:17 AM
- storyteller said...
Ohmygosh ... these look tasty! I bet you'd enjoy my Friday post at Sacred Ruminations where I shared all about making tamales with my sister. I was a Foodie on Friday and didn't even realize it ;-)
Hugs and blessings, - January 9, 2010 at 10:43 AM
- Glennis said...
Pinch of cinnamon! What an interesting touch.
Regarding banh mi rolls - I understand the baguettes in Vietnamese bakeries use a proportion of rice flour - I'm not sure how much, but I remember reading that somewhere. It gives them the crust their characteristic crackly crunch. - January 9, 2010 at 2:30 PM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Thanks for the tip "g".
- January 9, 2010 at 2:34 PM
- Unknown said...
I know these aren't difficult but I am such a chicken. I have been making bread using a bread machine for so long that now I'm afraid to do it by hand. I need to just get right down to it. I'll have to try these - maybe tonight, if I start now :-|
- January 9, 2010 at 3:14 PM
- L'Chicken said...
These are beautiful. And when you find the perfect Bahn Mi recipe, I will be waiting with yeast in hand. That is my favorite sandwich. BBQ pork with jalapeno and cilantro...yum!! Happy New Year, Mary!
- January 9, 2010 at 10:03 PM
- Rachelle @ Olivia's Cottage said...
Thank you for the post! I love many Thai Dishes. This is the first I have tried. All of the recipes on your site look so wonderful.
- January 12, 2010 at 11:22 PM
- MC said...
These little golden torpedoes look deliciously plump and soft. They remind me of the "pains au lait" my Mom used to buy for us as a treat when I was a child, back in Paris. We used to make chocolate sandwiches with them. Very very yummy...
- January 15, 2010 at 7:10 AM
- Cathy (Bread Experience) said...
Those look beautiful and tasty! Can I have some? Happy Baking!
- January 15, 2010 at 6:51 PM
- Tamarah Bartmess said...
I'm gonna try and get that crusty effect with my batch by having some water in a roasting pan while I bake the bread. It's what I normally do with my artisan bread to get the crust more crunchy.
Thank you! Sunday dinner is gonna be amazing! - August 21, 2011 at 6:59 PM


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The other day we tried this dish at a Chinese restaurant nearby (As recommended by Missyblurkit) . I was very impressed with this black pepper beef with strawberry, juicy beef with strong black pepper aroma and sweetish tangy strawberry. Few weeks later, i imatated this at home..and the taste is almost close to that restaurant.
Stir Fried Black Pepper Beef with Strawberry
(recipe source: by Sonia aka Nasi Lemak Lover)
350g beef tenderloin, cubes
120g fresh strawberry, cubes
1 small onion, wedges
2 cloves garlic, chopped
Black pepper sauce seasonings
1/2tbsp black pepper powder
1tbsp oyster sauce
1tsp light soy sauce
1/2tsp dark soy sauce
1/2tbsp dark caramel sauce (optional,i prefer this dish look dark)
1/4tsp salt or to taste
1tbsp tapioca flour or cornstarch
3tbsp water
Freshly grated black pepper, optional
1. Mix black pepper sauce seasonings in a mixing bowl, set aside.
2. Heat cooking oil in a wok, sauté chopped garlic and onion till aroma.
3. Add in beef and strawberry cubes, stir fry for 30seconds.
4. Add in black pepper sauce, continue to stir fry for 1-2mins.
5. Sprinkle with freshly grated black pepper, dish out and serve hot.
** finally i just own my 1st unit of DSLR camera, still playing around with the lens, hope you like this series of photo ^_^


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- Adorable! I would make a couple of travel pillowcases for the kids. Thanks for the opportunity!


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It was all going so well. The crib had been set up and baby moved into the nursery, the husband was home at night and embracing the task of night-time baby monitoring, the Ativan prescription was filled and ensuring that just as soon as baby had last pass at the breast for the evening, I could go right to sleep. And it was working. I was sleeping. It was good. For about four days, it was good.
Too good to last.
I am currently hanging on to my sanity by the barest threads, doing everything in my power to ignore the tightness in my neck and the pain behind my eyes as I listen to the baby FREAK OUT in the other room after 36 hours of only sleeping in 30 minute stretches. The husband is gone on his second night of overnight filming and I'm afraid to take the Ativan while he's gone and for some reason the baby and the girl have both decided that they cannot and will not sleep while he is not in the house and the one is shrieking (teething? sinus pain? WILL TO TERRORIZE ME?) while the other is jumping on her bed and tossing her stuffed animals around her room and the cats are yowling for their dinner and I have not slept since yesterday morning and I AM SLOWLY GOING MAD.
It is taking all of my will to keep from shrieking SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP at all of them. It is taking all of my will.
I have a strong will. I also have a strong bedroom door, and I currently have my back pressed up against it. I'm sitting on the floor, trying to block out the noise, trying to slow my breathing, trying to keep my calm, trying to keep my calm, trying to keep my calm.
I know that this, too, shall pass. I know that at some point - maybe in a few hours, maybe in a few days - I will look at the beautiful faces of my sleeping children and feel that blissed-out, satisfied calm that is one of parenthood's greatest rewards and I will remember this moment - this moment of wanting to scream - only in the abstract.
But it is still this moment, right now, this terrible moment, and all I can do is live through it.
I press a pillow to my face and scream.
Labels: her bad crazies, post-partum bad


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Made of 100% Cotton woven


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Chapter 20
The Lord reveals the Ten Commandments—Israel is to bear witness that the Lord has spoken from heaven—The children of Israel are forbidden to make gods of silver or gold—They are to make altars of unhewn stones and sacrifice to the Lord thereon.
1 And God aspake all these bwords, saying,
2 aI am the bLord thy cGod, which have brought thee out of the land of dEgypt, out of the house of ebondage.
3 Thou shalt have ano other bgods before me.
4 Thou shalt anot make unto thee any bgraven cimage, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth:
5 Thou shalt not abow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a bjealous God, cvisiting the diniquity of the efathers upon the fchildren unto the third and fourth generation of them that ghate me;
6 And shewing amercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my bcommandments.
7 Thou shalt not take the aname of the Lord thy God in bvain; for the Lord will not hold him cguiltless that dtaketh his name in vain.
8 Remember the asabbath day, to keep it bholy.
9 aSix days shalt thou blabour, and do all thy work:
10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy astranger that is within thy gates:
11 For in asix days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord bblessed the sabbath day, and challowed it.
12 ¶ aHonour thy bfather and thy cmother: that thy ddays may be elong upon the fland which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not akill.
14 Thou shalt not commit aadultery.
15 Thou shalt not asteal.
16 Thou shalt not bear afalse witness against thy bneighbour.
17 Thou shalt not acovet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's bwife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
18 ¶ And all the people asaw the thunderings, and the lightnings, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people bsaw it, they cremoved, and stood afar off.
19 And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us, and we will hear: but let not God aspeak with us, lest we die.
20 And Moses said unto the people, aFear not: for bGod is ccome to dprove you, and ethat his fear may be before your faces, that ye sin not.
21 And the people stood afar off, and Moses drew near unto the thick darkness where God was.
22 ¶ And the Lord said unto Moses, Thus thou shalt say unto the children of Israel, Ye have seen that I have atalked with you from heaven.
23 Ye shall not make awith me bgods of silver, neither shall ye make unto you gods of gold.
24 ¶ An altar of earth thou shalt make unto me, and shalt asacrifice thereon thy burnt offerings, and thy peace offerings, thy sheep, and thine oxen: in all places where I record my name I will come unto thee, and I will bless thee.
25 And if thou wilt make me an altar of stone, thou shalt not build it of hewn astone: for if thou lift up thy btool upon it, thou hast polluted it.
26 Neither shalt thou go up by asteps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not bdiscovered thereon.


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Discussion of the transcendent vs. immanent self. A discussion of emotions and conditioning, and an examination of three methods of working with negative emotions.Working with Emotions TwoTalk given: Summer 2004 Dharma Seminars in Mill Valley, CA.
Zoketsu lectures on Daniel Goleman's Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama. – Proceedings of a dialogue between the Dalai Lama and Western philosophers and scientists.
I want to talk about a chapter in the book called "A Buddhist psychology," which is a report of a talk that Mattheu Ricard (sp?) gave at the conference. Goleman introduced the talk by saying that Trungpa Rinpoche once said that Buddhism will come to the West as a psychology. It is true. You wouldn't say that about Christianity, Judaism, or Islam. It seems to be truer of Buddhism than the theistic traditions. The psychological teachings of Buddhism are not an accident; they are essential to the thrust of Buddhism.
If you think about the question, "What are we as persons?" it is complicated to be a human being. It is complicated because we have a double nature. On the one hand, we are animals, and like other animals, we have desires and needs. But we also have a consciousness that is self reflective. It gives us the capacity to imagine ourselves to be beyond what we are. We have a transcendent thirst for spirituality, religion, God, and enlightenment. We have aspirations and ideals. This double nature allows us to do tremendous acts of selflessness and creativity, and simultaneously, both as individuals and as a species, to do unprecedented acts of destruction.
So, you could say that we have both transcendent and immanent sides. Theistic religions shine the beam of their light on our transcendent side, that aspect of our heart that is beyond ourselves, almost to the exclusion of the other side. Psychology is an examination of our humanness: our desires and hopes and fears in the world. If you focus on the transcendent side, you have less to say about the emotions and psychology of the human being. In fact, so much so, that you could say that one of the down sides of theistic religions is that they focus so much on the transcendent that they tend to denigrate or even demonize the human side.
Central to the idea of Buddhism is that it doesn't have an idea of a God. In fact, I think the Buddha felt that the idea of a self and the clinging to a self was a projected reflection of the idea of a God. He thought that it was the root of all our problems, so he was not interested in that idea. Therefore, Buddhism shines its light on the human side. Buddhism also includes the transcendent side, because what is enlightenment or Buddhahood but the transcendent? But it shines its light on the human side, on emotions, for the purpose of purifying the human up to enlightenment, instead of focusing on the transcendent and denigrating the human. So it comes from the opposite direction.
Now I am going to skip around to some points in Ricard's discussion. When he uses the word emotion, he is talking about our conditioning. Negative or destructive emotions are all of our blocked conditioning. He is saying that even if it looks like you are calm and happy, if you have the seeds of conditioning within you, and even if the seeds have not become manifest by external conditions, the negative emotions are still within you. What makes these emotions, these conditioned responses, destructive or harmful is not just the obvious consequences of them. If you lash out at someone, there are consequences, and you can see the destructive results of emotions. But there are also, he says, our motivations and the shadows of these negative emotions. Even if they don't seem to have bad, external consequences, there is a shadow of bad consequences within us that comes from our motivations continuing to be warped by our conditioning. We are blinded by this conditioning, so we see a world that doesn't exist, and we begin reacting to that world.
We think that destructive emotions are not a major issue for us. But according to Ricard, and according to Buddhism, to be a normal, happy individual is to be enlightened. Anything short of that is abnormal. I think it is true that we all have a long way to go towards some fundamental healthiness. This is a totally different paradigm for human life. When you think about psychology in the West, it starts with pathology. There are pathological states and the investigation of their causes. Therefore, the thrust of psychology is the abnormal, and there is no thought of the normal. But what is normal? Look what goes on in the world. Is invading countries normal? Is killing people normal?
Buddhism does not posit the usual idea of normalcy. In Buddhism there is only awakening or destructive emotions. So our project is to go toward enlightenment. We are trying to purify our hearts and not just go toward anger management.
You can't talk about psychology and emotion without talking about philosophy, because all psychologies imply ontology, whether they are explicit or not. Whatever your psychology is, it implies an idea of what the self is and what the world is, and how self and world relate to each other. In western psychology, which comes from medicine and empiricism, the nature of the self and the world are just assumed. What is looked at instead is the phenomenon of pathology.
Buddhism, however, is very clear about its ontology. In Buddhism the root of all negative emotions is self clinging, holding firmly to the idea of a separate, fundamentally existing self. The idea of a separate, fundamentally existing self is assumed in western psychology. In Buddhism, this is seen to be an erroneous assumption that needs to be overcome and examined. It is clear in Buddhism that this clinging to the idea of a separate self is the source of all negative emotions. If you attack me physically or verbally, my hatred or aversion will be aroused because the self is under attack. On the other hand, if you pile praise on me, then I will be happy and like you. These feelings of desire or aversion are the source of all negative emotions. Therefore, there is an emphasis in Buddhism to go beyond this conviction of a separate self.
We certainly do have the experience of being a separate person, separate from other people, but we are training ourselves in zazen through body and breath, through thinking in classes like this, and through observation of our experience to realize that the experience we have of a fundamentally existing separate self is just that: it is a human experience that doesn't have anything to do with objective fact. This is a subtle but crucial difference. It is the difference between having a thought that comes into the mind and thinking, "Oh, I am having this thought." Same thought, and really the same experience, but the way you hold it is very different when you know it as a thought, as opposed to a reflection of something that is solidly there in the world.
This is where our zazen practice really helps us. Our practice works on us little by little over time, and we may not be conscious of what is going on. Even if we have terrible practice, have no idea of what is going on, have terrible concentration and are always falling asleep, moving around and wiggling in our seat, we keep doing zazen and coming back to the breath, to the posture, and trying to be present. After a time, we will probably get the idea that thoughts are coming and going, and they are just that: thoughts. You see that one minute you are completely focused on something that seems like the most important thing in the universe, and the next minute it is totally gone and you don't care! You realize that thoughts are coming and going, and nothing is fixed. Emotions are emotions. Thoughts are thoughts. The self is an experience that comes and goes. It is an aspect of consciousness. To have this understanding of your mind and self really makes a profound difference.
Another point that Ricard makes is that negative emotions are not inherent in the mind. If you believe that the idea of a separate self is a given, then you would also believe that it is a given fact that anger and hatred are inherent in the human being. Many philosophers in all cultures have said that these qualities are inherent in human nature. The point is to realize that negative emotions are not inherent. They arise according to conditions, and we make a commitment to work with them as much as we can in this lifetime. Our work with the precepts are a path to perfection, as far as we can get. We can overcome negative emotions. They are not inherent in the mind.
Zazen really helps here in the same way. In zazen we may enter into deep states of quiet. There is the feeling that you are attuned to body, breath, and mind and to the world. You feel the fundamental kindness of the world. Having experiences like that in our practice gives us a faith in the awakened nature of the mind. We feel that the fundamental nature of the mind is peaceful. Buddha mind, the basis of consciousness, is not inherently negative. There is a kind of faith in that. There is the recognition that negative emotions are distortions caused by conditioning and habit. Our faith in basic human sanity is not just a leap of faith, it is based on the confidence we can feel in the teachings, our teachers, and our own experience.
Also, if you are in an emotional state and practice clear awareness, you can investigate whether the emotion is inherently negative. By entering into the emotion fully, you can see that at the heart of the emotion, no matter how negative, there is a point of purity. You can see that anger, for example, is an energy that is obscuring the purity that is at its heart. If you can hold on long enough with the awareness of an emotion, you can feel at the bottom of the emotion this point of purity, just as the water on the surface of the ocean may be turbulent, but the water at the bottom is calm.
Another thing that Ricard says is that emotions, if not addressed can turn into moods, and moods turn into our temperament. Even though I may not be fuming with anger or lust all that often, in fact the emotion, little by little, becomes my life, because those tendencies are working within me even when they are not manifest. When we believe in a separate and fixed person, then we believe we are that kind of person. We think, "I am an angry person" or "I am a depressed person."
Ricard talks about three methods or pathways to work with the emotions. The first is the pathway of antidotes. For example, if you are feeling hatred, focus the mind on love to overcome the hatred. If you are feeling desire, focus on the temporariness and unsatisfactory nature of that which you desire. There are many ways to overcome negative states with positive states. But it takes a lot of practice to do this, and you have to practice all the time, because if you wait until you are overcome by anger to practice loving kindness, it is pretty hopeless. The only hope is to have developed loving kindness continuously, but even then the anger may overcome you. So, although it is important to cultivate the antidotes, they may not be sufficient.
The second method is to see through the emotion and to see that it is based on a sense of self that is not fundamentally real. Throughout one's practice, it is possible to remind oneself that anger, for example, is pointless because the emotion is arising inappropriately. So, the second method is basically seeing the empty nature of emotion.
The third method is "stepping forward." He doesn't say it in this passage, but what he means is tantric practice, in which you plunge into the emotion and use the energy of the emotion itself to overcome the emotion. If tantra is using the realm in which we live
and using it as a tool for awakening, then our practice is completely tantric. In our practice, we are non dualistic. Things of the world are what they are, neither negative nor positive. Tantric practices in other traditions, such as Tibetan Buddhism, can involve very complicated rituals, but in our tradition, it is just embracing emotions with awareness, going completely into them, and finding a point of purity right in the middle of them. Therefore the method for us is awareness and to be fully present with whatever you are experiencing.
So in the beginning, when working with emotions, you usually think, "Oh, I did it again. I blew it again." But when you realize what has happened, you address it, maybe five minutes later, or five hours later. Then, as you continue to practice with it, you close the gap between the emotion and the awareness of the emotion. And then there is breathing. I am really impressed with breathing. If you sit a lot, breathing becomes more than breathing; it carries the whole practice with it. If you lose it, just start breathing. You will return to yourself and figure out what just happened. Little by little, you close the gap. You can be aware of being angry, or any negative emotion that you are experiencing. Being aware of it will change it. Then, when you can clarify the causes and conditions of these emotions, you can work with the emotion even before it comes. Ricard talks about this. When the seeds of emotions that have troubled you in the past are clarified, then these habits do not arise anymore. You can actually overcome these habits and emotions.
Let's say we fast forward to a time when we have overcome the emotions, would we become a neutral person with a half smile, with no emotions at all? No, I think we would still be conditioned people living in a conditioned world, capable of experiencing human emotion at any time. But the emotion would not be toxic. It would be just an experience that could flow through us. We could still feel hatred or jealousy, but we wouldn't put the twist on it that we always do and it wouldn't warp our consciousness. It would pass right through us. We would see it as an emotion that makes us a human being. We might even feel new emotions: joy, equanimity, heartfelt compassion, selfless love, courage, and contentment…things that are fairly rare for people to feel in this life.
Mostly people want to feel positive and not negative emotions and they want to feel pleasure and not pain. The problem with feeling pleasure or pain is that you are at the mercy of conditions, whether it is a traffic jam or your computer not working. The happiness in working with emotions in this way would be a kind of fulfillment and contentment, regardless of the conditions and emotions that might pass through us. Working with our emotions will automatically condition us out of seeking pleasure and that which we want and into a joy or willingness to meet every moment. Happiness is in meeting every moment and not holding out for the moments we want, and trying to escape from the moments that we don't want. You would be happy to face every moment regardless of what it brought. Yes, I am unhappy when things go wrong, and I like it when things go well, but fundamentally it doesn't matter that much, because I am there to meet it. That's what I am after, and that's what really makes me happy. There's a sense of well being. Every day is a good day.


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Toronto bicyclist Megan Siegel – Photo by Doug Estey
Two years ago Megan Siegel moved to Toronto from the Maritimes. After commuting on Toronto's scenic (but dreadful) Queen streetcar for 7 months, Megan was ready to call it quits on Toronto and head back to the east coast.
"I lived on Queen Street East and worked at Queen and University, it was about a 5km trip that took me about 45 minutes in rush hour on a good day. I couldn't believe that it would ever take that long. The streetcar was hot, stuffy, expensive and unreliable and I couldn't take it anymore."
Fed up with Toronto's public transit, Megan went to a local bike shop one day after work and bought a new bicycle in April. Megan hadn't ridden a bicycle in over 10 years and after purchasing her new bike she suddenly realized she had to somehow get the bike home:
"I sucked it up and rode home and haven't looked back since."
Megan's story is a common one. Three weeks ago we wrote about Robert Lawson who after 17 years decided to start riding a bicycle again after becoming disillusioned with Toronto's transit system.
Public transit in Toronto has long been neglected and Toronto's current mayor wants to reduce service even further while raising fares for public transit users. Meanwhile the same mayor rescinded the only fee the city charges to motorists, eliminating a reliable stream of $60 million in revenue for the city, while paying $300,000 to remove existing bicycle infrastructure for the first time in history to make more room for cars.
Toronto bicyclist Megan Siegel – Photos by Doug Estey
On a positive note, the mayor's focus on removing barriers for motor vehicles will only increase automobile congestion (and public transit will thus also suffer), so Megan's decision to use a bicycle to get around the city was a timely and smart decision.
Asked about how living in Toronto compares to her growing up in a small town on the east coast, Megan told me:
"The house I grew up in was about 20km outside of the town of Shelburne, Nova Scotia. The only people who ride bikes in Shelburne and surrounding areas are people who are under the age of 16. As soon as you turn 16, you get your license and no longer have the need for a bike."
Before Megan started using a bike to get around, she hadn't realized how effective a tool the bicycle can be:
"I had no idea how much ground I could actually cover on a bike. Looking back, I could have absolutely used a bike in my hometown. I wouldn't necessarily have ridden it the 20km back and forth from home to school, but I now know that I could have easily used it for times when I was in a pinch. Quite often my parents would have the car and I would be stranded. Here in Toronto, I'll ride 20km and think nothing of it. I know it's a faster, cheaper, healthier option. I am much happier since I got a bike."
Toronto bicyclist Megan Siegel – Photo by Doug Estey
Toronto bicyclist Megan Siegel – Photo by Doug Estey
I asked Megan for some advice that she could give to other people who haven't ridden a bicycle in a long time and who are thinking about starting again:
"Just take it easy at the start. Be careful when it's raining. Walk your bike across the crosswalk instead of turning left on streetcar tracks when it's really busy. Be confident. I was apprehensive and scared when I started, but I jumped right in and now I couldn't imagine living any other way."
Megan told me about a few things she'd like to see implemented in Toronto:
"One thing I always joke about is how I wish there were digital clocks attached to every streetlight so I can time my rides easier.
More seriously, I quite often end up at red lights where I either wait for several minutes for the light to turn green or I have to get off my bike and hit the crosswalk button. I've noticed a few places where there are weight sensors for cyclists. Bloor and Manning has one and Argyle and Ossington just had one installed. It would be handy if this was the norm at all smaller intersections.
The bike boxes that are new to the city are great; I just wish drivers knew how to use them. "
Toronto bicyclist Megan Siegel – Photo by Doug Estey
And on motorist education and motorist-bicyclist relations:
"I wish there were more resources for drivers and cyclists alike. Just the other day at an intersection with a bike lane, a lady driving an SUV asked me who gets the right of way, the cyclists in the bike lane or her right-turning vehicle. Another driver legitimately thought that cyclists were NOT supposed to ride on the street. She was yelling at me to get on the sidewalk. There are a lot of grey areas that I think both cyclists and drivers need to be educated on.
When it comes down to it, everyone just needs to watch where they're going. "
Megan's positive experience with using a bicycle to get around has also had an effect on her friends:
"I have at least 5 friends from the east coast who bought bikes in Toronto this summer. I like to think I played a part in this. I was the first one in my group of friends to break down, stop using transit, and get a bike. They all saw how much I loved it, how easy it was for me to get around downtown and they love it as well!"
Last year the City of Toronto measured the number of bicyclists coming in and out of the downtown core. At that time they measured 34,403 bicyclists entering and leaving the downtown core in a 12-hour span. Out of those 34,403 bicyclists, 19,162 of them were entering the downtown core during that period.
If each of those 19,162 bicyclists convinced 5 of their friends to use a bicycle, we could increase the number of bicyclists entering the downtown core each day to 95,810.
Thanks Megan for sharing your story!
James D. Schwartz is a Transportation Pragmatist and the Editor of The Urban Country. You can contact James at email@example.com or follow him on Twitter.
Related Articles:
- Dutch Cycle Chic – Toronto Style (Dec 2010)
- Rediscovering The Bicycle 17 Years Later (Sept 2011)
- Australia Cycle Chic Newcomer (Oct 2010)
- Montreal Bicycle Ridership Up 35-40% (Dec 2010)


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On this page you can search for Bars, Bars & Grills, Taverns, Pubs, Nightclubs, Sports Bar, Saloon, Roadhouses, Micro Brewery, Whisky Bar, Dance Club, Wine Bar, Hotel Bar, Restaurant Serving Alcohol, Irish Pub, College Bar, Lounge, Cigar Bar, Dive Bar, Music Joint, Specialty Bars, Cocktail Lounge, Beer Bar and more... located in this county, listed by a real estate agents. You will not be able to search for Home bars on this site. Check out Wisconsin GIS MAP for mapping information!
Lakefront Bars & Grills WI Taverns Pubs
The section above is populated by IDXWI.com, a Landman Realty LLC website that scrapes WIREX. WIREX consists of about 9 Wisconsin MLS systems covering the majority of the state. You can register with IDXWI.com: under "Advance Search" and recreate these types of Bars Select COMMERCIAL under property type Select a LOCATION and Select BEER/LIQUOR & TAVERN/BAR under Bus Com Type (uses CTRL to select multiple items OR SHIFT for multiple items in a row). If no properties are present, then check back often or register with IDXWI.com to setup an auto email search so that you can be the first to know about newly listed Pubs, Taverns or Bars & Grills properties in the area of your choice! - REGISTER
People go to pubs and taverns for a variety of reasons including food, entertainment but mostly for Alcoholic Beverages like Beer, Wine, Liquor, Cocktails, Shots, Spirits, Whisky, Gin, Vodkas, Tequila, Rum, Brandy, etc... And if the owner / manager is very into their business they have something for everyday for the week; Happy Hour, Lunch Specials, Daily Specials, Weekly Specials, Miller Monday, Taco Tuesday, Wing Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fish Fry Friday, Prime Rib Saturdays and Bloody Mary Sundays. But LEAGUES are also a great public / patron attractor with trivia, darts, pool, volleyball, horseshoes, cards to name a few.
Common Bar Food
Food is part of the Bread and Butter of an establishments income be it a Cocktail Lounge, Neighborhood Pub, Country Tavern or whatever. Some of the most common bar foods are Nuts, Drinks, Chips, Soda, Soft Drinks, Appetizers, Burgers, Hot Dogs, Pizza, French Fries, Onion Rings, Chicken Wings, Mozzarella Sticks, Tacos, Hot Wings, Shrimp, Popcorn, Artichoke Dip, Fish & Chips, Jalapeno Poppers, Nachos, Quesadillas, Chicken Fingers, Cheeseburger, Curly Fries, Beef Sliders, Chili Cheese Fries, Beer Batter Fries, Buffalo Wings, Waffle Fries, Deep Fried Foods, Steaks, Ribs, Blooming Onion, BLT and sometimes dessert.
Common Bar Entertainment & Events
The entertainment of a place can drive business depending on the day of the week and the quality of the event or activity. Live Bands, DJs, Disc Jockey, Jukebox, TVs, Dancing, Comedians, Vocalist, Karaoke, Poker Runs, Bingo, Pool, Darts, Dice Games, Daily Shake, Trivia, Name That Tune, Air Hockey, Shuffleboard, Beer Pong, Quarters, Flip Cup, Sports Events, Video Games, Board Games, Bar Olympics, Open Mic Night, Poker Tournament, Dart League, Horseshoes, Volley Ball, Pinball, Slot Machine, Pull Tabs, Billiards, Foosball, Skee-Ball, Ring Toss, Cribbage, Dominoes, Golden Tee, Buck Master, Pacman, Mechanical Bull Riding... Also hosting events like local chamber meetings, weddings, birthday parties, political parties, fishing tournaments, ice fishing jamborees, clubs, women's night out, outings, to dos and much much more.
Type of Wisconsin Bars
- Bars
- Bars & Grills
- Taverns
- Pubs
- Nightclubs
- Lounges
- Sports Bar
- Saloon
- Micro Brewery
- Whisky Bar
- Dance Club
- Wine Bar
- Hotel Bar
- Restaurants Serving Alcohol
- Irish Pub
- College Bar
- Cigar Bar
- Dive Bar
- Music Joint
- Specialty Bars
- Cocktail Lounge
- Beer Bar
- NO Home Bars
Bars Pubs and Tavern Workers
Establishments create a lot of Wisconsin Jobs including; Staff, Bartenders, Server, Waitress, Waiter, Owners, Bouncer, BarBack, Cook, Dish Washer, DJs, Security Guard, Host, Hostess, Managers even the occasional Door Guy.
Bar Tools and Equipment
Bar Equipment, Glasses, Bottle Openers, Shakers, Jiggers, Cocktail Strainers, Corkscrews, Bar Spoons, Pour Spouts, Blenders, Bar Towels, Can Opener, Citrus Zester, Wine Opener, Knife & Cutting Board, Tumbler, Dishwasher, Grill, Stove, Bar Taps...
Become a Wisconsin Bar Owner
Buying a bar can be quiet challenging but not as much as running the day to day operations. There are lots of purchasing decisions to make like do you buy a vacant lot and build the bar of your dreams OR do you purchase a preexisting building with an established bar with regular patrons. Central Wisconsin has lots of small towns with a wide variety of taverns everything from the neighborhood pub to the waterfront restaurant with a signature bar serving the locals and out of town tourists. No matter what Central Wisconsin you choose there will be lots of stuff to do including hiring staff, picking out equipment, choosing the right supplies and vendors, making sure your patrons have stuff to do as the spend money in your place of business.


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Your home is your very own personal space where you can give a free run to your creative ideas. And choosing good floor tiles can indeed seem an easy and challenging task, especially if you do have a creative bent of mind! The size and design required for your flooring should be calculated before choosing a quality floor tile set for your home.
The size of the flooring is very important, for example larger tiles can be easily laid and needs little maintenance. But, you should make sure that your flooring is flat and even before choosing large sized ones, as even slight deviations can look ghastly and very much noticeable.
Tiles design should also be chosen with care and should suit your home environment. Ceramic, granite, marbonite, mosaic, sandstone, vitrified or porcelain tile are very popular and can produce a wondrous effect on your home flooring. Similarly, there are numerous floor tiles design in ceramic range such as ornate, artistic, check board, square, rectangle, triangle, fusion geometric, circles, etc.
If you're planning on laying granite flooring, you can avail or choose from a plethora of designs and colors. Granite, being a natural high quality stone is very durable and looks extremely appealing with a polished finish.
Many people also prefer to use vitrified tiles to beautify their floors. These are created artificially by vitrifictaion procedure and processed (for making it water resistant and stain proof). These tiles have superior features as compared to granite or marble. Choosing floor tiles design in vitrified varieties can be real fun as there are endless possibilities such as designing your very own personalized print image through digital printing for them.
A visitor or guest entering your house is likely to notice your floor immediately as he steps inside. So if the flooring is exquisite and impressive, it will leave a great impact on the visitors. Tiles are natural home ornaments that actually give it a real feel and beauty. Nowadays, many homeowners are opting for designer tiles on their home flooring to produce a personalized look to the whole house.
Actually, when it comes to choosing floor tiles design, there is innumerable choices and varieties in the market. You can take the valuable help of an interior designer or flooring expert while laying the flooring of your home. There are wide range of choices in styles, types, textures and designs in floor tiles. It is best to study about the different types of floor tiles and their usefulness. Some types can look extremely beautiful without being durable, while others may look dull but guarantee long lasting durability.
You should be clever enough to choose a flooring that is tough and beautiful in appearance also. Good planning is main key to buying the correct type of floor tiles for your house. You can start by leafing through online sources for different ideas and design structures. You can also compare prices and opt for a competitive and affordable priced floor tile set.


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Te'o victim of cruel hoax over girlfriend's death
Published 1:45 am Thursday, January 17, 2013
SOUTH BEND, Ind. (AP) — The wrenching story of Notre Dame football star Manti Te'o's girlfriend dying of leukemia — a loss he said inspired him to play his best all the way to the BCS championship — was dismissed by the school as a hoax perpetrated against the linebacker.
Notre Dame said Wednesday night it believes the Heisman Trophy finalist was duped into an online relationship with a woman whose "death" was then faked by the perpetrators of the hoax.
The school made the statement following a lengthy story by Deadspin.com, saying it could find no record that Lennay Kekua ever existed. The website story suggests a friend of Te'o may have carried out the hoax and that the football player may have been in on it.
"This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online," Te'o said in a statement. "We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her. ''
However, he stopped short of saying he had ever met her in person or correcting reports that said he had, though he did on numerous occasions talk about how special the relationship was to him.
"To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone's sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating," he said.
"In retrospect, I obviously should have been much more cautious. If anything good comes of this, I hope it is that others will be far more guarded when they engage with people online than I was."
Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick said at a news conference that Te'o told coaches on Dec. 26 he had received a call while at an awards ceremony earlier in the month from Kekua's phone number.
"When he answered it, it was a person whose voice sounded like the same person he had talked to, who told him that she was, in fact, not dead. Manti was very unnerved by that, as you might imagine," Swarbrick said.
Swarbrick said the school hired investigators and their report indicated those behind the hoax were in contact with each other, discussing what they were doing.
The investigators "were able to discover online chatter among the perpetrators that was certainly the ultimate proof of this, the joy they were taking," Swarbrick said. "The casualness among themselves they were talking about what they accomplished."
Swarbrick said for Te'o "the pain was real."
"The grief was real. The affection was real," he said. "That's the nature of this sad, cruel game."
Swarbrick said Notre Dame did not take the matter to the police, saying that the school left it up to Te'o and his family to do so. He added that Notre Dame did not plan to release the findings of its investigation.
"We had no idea of motive, and that was really significant to us. … Was somebody trying to create an NCAA violation at the core of this? Was there somebody trying to impact the outcome of football games by manipulating the emotions of a key player? Was there an extortion request coming? When you match the lack of sort of detail we lacked until we got some help investigating it with the risk involved, it was clear to me until we knew more we had to just to continue to work to try to gather the facts," Swarbrick said.
The Deadspin report changed all that.
Friends and relatives of Ronaiah Tuiasosopo told Deadspin they believe he created Kekua. The website said Te'o and Tuiasosopo knew each other. Attempts by The Associated Press to reach Tuiasosopo by telephone were unsuccessful.
As for Kekua, Deadspin said she does not have a death certificate. Stanford, where she reportedly went to school, has no record of anybody by that name, the website said. Deadspin said a record search produced no obituary or funeral announcement. There is no record of her birth in the news.
There are a few Twitter and Instagram accounts registered to Lennay Kekua, but the website reported photographs identified as Kekua online and in TV news reports are pictures from the social-media accounts of a 22-year-old California woman who is not named Lennay Kekua, the website reported.
Still, Swarbrick said, "Nothing about what I have learned has shaken my faith in Manti Te'o one iota."
Te'o talked freely about their relationship after her supposed death and how much she meant to him.
In a story that appeared in The South Bend Tribune on Oct. 12, Manti's father, Brian, recounted an anecdote about how his son and Kekua met after Notre Dame had played at Stanford in 2009. Brian Te'o also told the newspaper that Kekua had visited Hawaii and met with his son. Brian Te'o told the AP in an interview in October that he and his wife had never met Manti's girlfriend but they had hoped to at the Wake Forest game in November. The father said he believed the relationship was just beginning to get serious when she died.
The Tribune released a statement saying: "At the Tribune, we are as stunned by these revelations as everyone else. Indeed, this season we reported the story of this fake girlfriend and her death as details were given to us by Te'o, members of his family and his coaches at Notre Dame."
The week before Notre Dame played Michigan State on Sept. 15, coach Brian Kelly told reporters when asked that Te'o's grandmother and a friend had died. Te'o didn't miss the game. He said Kekua had told him not to miss a game if she died. Te'o turned in one of his best performances of the season in the 20-3 victory in East Lansing, and his playing through heartache became a prominent theme during the Irish's undefeated regular season.
"My family and my girlfriend's family have received so much love and support from the Notre Dame family," he said after that game. "Michigan State fans showed some love. And it goes to show that people understand that football is just a game, and it's a game that we play, and we have fun doing it. But at the end of the day, what matters is the people who are around you, and family. I appreciate all the love and support that everybody's given my family and my girlfriend's family."
He was asked again about his girlfriend on Jan. 3 prior to the BCS title game, saying: "This team is very special to me, and the guys on it have always been there for me, through the good times and the bad times. I rarely have a quiet time to myself because I always have somebody calling me, asking, 'Do you want to go to the movies?' Coach is always calling me asking me, 'Are you OK? Do you need anything?"'
Te'o finished second in Heisman voting, and led Notre Dame to its first appearance in the BCS championship. His widely reported story was among the most heartwarming of the season.
"It further pains me that the grief I felt and the sympathies expressed to me at the time of my grandmother's death in September were in any way deepened by what I believed to be another significant loss in my life," Te'o said in his statement.
"I am enormously grateful for the support of my family, friends and Notre Dame fans throughout this year. To think that I shared with them my happiness about my relationship and details that I thought to be true about her just makes me sick. I hope that people can understand how trying and confusing this whole experience has been."
Te'o and the Irish lost the title game to Alabama, 42-14 on Jan. 7. He has graduated and was set to begin preparing for the NFL combine and draft at the IMG Academy in Bradenton, Fla., this week.
"Fortunately, I have many wonderful things in my life," he said in his statement, "and I'm looking forward to putting this painful experience behind me as I focus on preparing for the NFL Draft."


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Our first contestant Susan has dreams of flying high, but does she have more than a wing and a prayer? Let's find out.
Darla: "I have to agree with Randall. When I look at you, I see JOY. But I just don't taste the joy. What? Nigel, why are you always laughing at me?"
Next up is Michael, who hopes his rendition of Under the Sea won't leave the judges all wet.
Randall: "Yeah, sorry, dawg."
Darla: "Maybe next year. Don't lose that sparkle!"
Can our next contestant Kelli win the judges over, or will her wreck get in the way?
Darla: "There's something very special about you, Kelli. A kind of hazy...colorful...haze. Yeah. In fact, I think...I think I love you. OW! Nigel, what was that for?"
Nigel: "Darla, don't make me take away your sippy cup again."
Kelli: "Um...so...does that mean I win?"
Kelli: "So...no?"
Wow, it's been a rough night for our wreckerators. Will Billy, our final contestant of the night, turn things around?
Randall: "Sorry, Darla. Here, have your sippy cup."
Darla: [from floor] "Bad! Baaaad!!"
Randall: "Yeah, I gotta say, dawg, that is pretty heinous. Nigel?"
Nigel: "I rather like it."
Jenna C., Josee, Diana B., & Katie C., I'd say your wedding wrecks and a snarky British judge are a match made in heaven.


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Some time ago we have discovered "Selection Alexander Von Essen" (see link in German/contains more info) wines and have not been disappointed by any of the bottles we have bought and which were tagged with that "brand" as they are all phenomenal vintages!
The German-based importer Baron Alexander Von Essen has transformed his passion into a rewarding career as a wine dealer. In the 80´s, he had the great idea to to offer wine lovers a special selection of excellent wines fom Europe (Hungary, Switzerland, Italy, France, Germany, Austria and Spain) and the New World (South America & South Africa). So, he decided to incite the greatest winemakers to vinify the grapes from the best plots of land separately and to create top-grade cuvees for him.
Baron Alexander Von Essen likes to discover new regional wines and believes that the most expensive wines aren't always the best and that more affordable ones can also be as interesting. For him the culture of wine shows a fascination for nature and he shows as much interest for traditional winemakers as for newcomers...
The design of his bottles is also very important, because, on the outside, the packaging is the only thing that sets a bottle apart from the others. In his opinion, the bottle, the label and the appearance should correspond to the quality of the wine. That is why the packaging of all "Selection Alexander Von Essen" wines has been designed by himself.
Tasted and highly recommended wines:
- Los Vascos Cabernet Sauvignon Mariposa / Los Vascos, Domaines Barons de Rothschild (Chili)
- Chardonnay Cuvée Orchidée / Château L' Hospitalet, Gérard Bertand (France)
- Sauvignon Blanc Cuvée Orchidée / Château L' Hospitalet , Gérard Bertand (France)
- Barbera d'Asti Superiore DOC "Vigneto Caplot" / Azienda Canova (Italy)
- Ripasso Rivolo / Masi (Italy)
- Südtiroler Lagrein 'Abtei' DOC / Muri-Gries (Italy)
- Pinotage / Bouwland (South Africa)
- Eternity Chardonnay / Buitenverwachting (South Africa)
- Sauvignon Blanc Coastal / Buitenverwachting (South Africa)


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São Tomé and Príncipe (often called just "São Tomé" for short) is a small island nation off the Atlantic coast of Central Africa, located in the Gulf of Guinea, straddling the Equator, west of Gabon. Discovered and claimed by Portugal in the late 15th century, the islands' sugar-based economy gave way to coffee and cocoa in the 19th century -- all grown with plantation slave labor, a form of which lingered into the 20th century. Although independence was achieved in 1975, democratic reforms were not instituted until the late 1980s, and the first free elections were held in 1991.
This small poor island economy has become increasingly dependent on cocoa since independence 34 years ago. However, cocoa production has substantially declined because of drought and mismanagement. The resulting shortage of cocoa for export has created a persistent balance-of-payments problem. São Tomé has to import all fuels, most manufactured goods, consumer goods, and a substantial amount of food. Over the years, it has been unable to service its foreign debt and has had to depend on concessional aid and debt rescheduling. São Tomé benefited from $200 million in debt relief in December 2000 under the Highly Indebted Poor Countries (HIPC) program. São Tomé's success in implementing structural reforms has been rewarded by international donors, who have pledged increased assistance in 2001. Considerable potential exists for development of a tourist industry, and the government has taken steps to expand facilities in recent years. The government also has attempted to reduce price controls and subsidies. São Tomé is also optimistic that substantial petroleum discoveries are forthcoming in its territorial waters in the oil-rich waters of the Gulf of Guinea. Corruption scandals continue to weaken the economy.
São Tomé Island (Ilha de São Tomé) - the larger island (and surrounding islets)
Príncipe Island (Ilha do Príncipe) - the smaller island (and surrounding islets)
São Tomé - Capital city and largest city in the country.
Santo António - The capital city of Principe Island.
Visas are issued on arrival ONLY if prior arrangements are made through the foreign ministry. A visa or letter from the foreign ministry is required to board an airplane bound for Sao Tome. Local travel agents (e.g. Gold Tours) can process visa application through the ministry in a week if you email the information page of your passport and the application found on their web site. In this case you pay a service fee to the tour operators in addition to US$100 (Oct/09) to immigration on arrival to have a 30 day visa stamped in your passport. Yellow fever vaccination is checked on arrival at Sao Tome airport.
As of October 2009, the Sao Tome Embassies in Washington, DC, Lisbon and UN Mission in New York and appear to have been abandoned with all listed phone, fax and e-mail addresses failing.
In Europe, a STP visa may be obtained in Brussels: Square Montgomery, 175 Avenue de Tervuren, +32 2 734 89 66. There is no STP diplomatic mission in Oceania. For travellers arriving from mainland Africa, there is a STP diplomatic mission in Gabon: B.P. 49, Libreville, (241) 72-15-27.
There are few embassies in STP. The embassies dully accredited to STP are: Librevill, Gabon (USA); Luanda, Angola (UK); Yaoundé, Cameroon (Canada); & Abuja, Nigeria (Australia). The nearest New Zealand embassy is in Namibia.
There are two weekly flight with the Portuguese airline TAP from Lisbon to São Tomé, on Fridays and Saturdays. This stretch is flown by Air Luxor . On Sundays TAAG Angola Airlines flies to São Tomé from Luanda. TAAG also serves São Tomé from Cape Verde. Aerocontractors flies from Lagos,Nigeria Saturdays to Sao Tome.
The Obo national park is a national reserve in the south-west part of the country. Local guides offer trips with bird-watching, observation of marine turtle nesting and ascension of Monte Pico.
Fort São Sebastião. The fort was built in 1575 and is now the São Tomé National Museum. The US Government donated money and services to refurbish the fort back in 2006, and now for a small fee anyone can be escorted around the Fort by a trained guide. The Fort has a working lighthouse and consecrated chapel, and is absolutely beautiful at night. The Fort is flanked by statues of three famous Portuguese explorers that nobody seems to remember.
Boca do Inferno Blowhole. A blowhole is a cavity formed in the ground at the inland end of a sea cave. When waves enter the mouth of the cave they will be funneled up towards the blowhole, which can become quite spectacular if the geometry and state of the weather is appropriate. The Boca do Inferno (Mouth of Hell) blowhole is spectacular at any time of the day but especially dramatic at high tide and during a full moon. Go with a good camera for dramatic shots. Just go past the VOA and coffee plantation, and take a left at the second basket stall.
Cascada Sao Nicolau. Drive up to Trindad and pass Café Monte. Bear left and keep going until the road washes out. In the middle of the jungle is a 100 foot high spring-fed waterfall named after Saint Nicolas. Absolutely beautiful and romantic. Pay no attention to the young couples lingering…
Roças. Café Monte in Trindad and Sao Joao dos Angolares are two well known and easily accessible roças. Café Monte has a new coffee museum set to open, and since it is in the mountains is cool and inviting. Sao Joao dos Angolares is run by a local art shop owner; the food served in the excellent restaurant is grown on the premises. Art and knicknacks are available for sale.
City market. Ah, to experience public life in Sao Tome. See, hear and…smell quotidian life. Just look for the yellow taxis in front of the recently-built City Market to experience the average Saotomense shopping experience. The taxi cabs are a experience in themselves, and are so numerous they have been photographed from space.
National Cathedral. Sao Tome has lots of churches, all of which are worth visiting. However, the National Cathedral adjacent to the Presidential Palace is the largest in the country and is beautiful and peaceful inside. It also has a sign as you enter: "You don't need a cell phone to talk to God here. Please turn it off."
The waters around Sao Tome are clear and rich with life. Consequently, diving, fishing and boat tours provide much to see. One of the few operators that offers these activities is Club Maxel .
Walk Around. Traffic is light, the sea breeze is cooling, and you can admire the architecture and people. The capitol city of Sao Tome is replete with public art. Painting and carvings by local artists, in addition to old Portuguse statues, can be found throughout the city. Often times you will walk down the street and turna corner come up suddenly against a colorful and sprightly paintng right in front of you.
Shopping is limited, but there are a few things worth purchasing, and possibly of export quality:
Claudio Corallo Chocolate. Tours of his chocolate factory are give on request. He or one of his sons will gleefully describes the shocking inferior stuff that passes for chocolate around the world. Claudio maintains complete control of the chocolate making process, from growing the pods on his own plantation on Principe through to packaging the chocolate in his own vacuum-sealed clean rooms. He gives copious free samples during the demonstration, and sells all his products right there in the demonstration room. Expensive but worth it.
Coffee. Sao Tome was famous for its coffee. The quality suffered a bit after the newly-independent Sao Tome government broke up the old rocas into sharecropper lots, but given the quality of the volcanic soil the coffee was still great. There has been a recent surge in interest in Sao Tome coffee, mostly due to Claudio Corrallo's work, but you can walk into any shop in Sao Tome and get great coffee cheap.
Rum. Sao Tome has two rum factories within an easy trip: Gravana, which is sold out of a car repair shop next to the Central Market, and Me-Zochi which is in Trindad behind the church. Prices of a one liter bottle of rum vary from USD 3 – 7 depending on the price of sugar. Gravana rum is dark and sweet, and is best served over ice and savored like a scotch. Me-Zochi rum is also good, but the factory also sells different types of liqueurs made from local fruits. Most of their product is shipped to Europe.
Baskets. Baskets are part and parcel of everyday life in Sao Tome. Therefore they are plentiful and cheap. They are not fancy but have their charm.
Miscellaneous Tourist Stuff. Ossobbo is across from the Fort Sao Sebastiao. The shop features local artisans and products of Sao Tome, from coffee, chocolate, cinnamon and vanilla to carvings, t-shirts and thumb drives. Prices are reasonable, but the best part is the shop is run by the non-profit Sisters of Misericordia; all profits go to the craftsmen or charitable works.
Fish is a staple of the São Toméan diet, often served with breadfruit and mashed, cooked bananas. The variety of fish is wide, including flying fish at certain times of year. Inland, many São Toméans get their protein from buzios, large land snails. Sea snails are also quite common along the coast. In spite of the abject poverty, São Toméans can always count on some sustenance from the wide array of tropical fruits. The hotels in the capital offer European-style fare at European prices.
Café e Companhia. The expat hangout in Sao Tome. This is THE place to let people know you have arrived in country. Café and Companhia is popularly known as "MJs", after the owner and former manager Maria João. MJ leases the business to a new German manager but makes appearances when she is in country. C & C is known for Thursday night jazz and the "Atomic Penis".
Sum Secreto. Standard grill fare, but they can handle large groups without a reservation. Service is generally very good, and the meat and fish are excellent. Nothing fancy, but the place is popular because it has that secret something.
Bigodes. Located near the airport, if you decide to wait for your flight here the airport will call to let you know when your flight is boarding. Good lunches and great view.
O Pirata. Located next to the Pestana Hotel, it is one of the few places open on Sunday morning, but one suspects they just party through Saturday night. Good place to nurse a cup of coffee and an omelet and just watch the ocean. A sunken ship is right off the restaurant…hence the name "The Pirate".
Roça São João dos Angolares. Make reservations as far in advance as possible, but it is worth it. Gourmet meals served as a multiple course prix fixe are worth the extra workout you will need.
Beer is readily available everywhere, though São Toméans are not known as big drinkers. Local brands include Creolla and Rosema. Inland, palm wine is available very inexpensively from vendors along the road. In the capital, whiskey and other spirits are popular among the elites. Wine, especially Portuguese vinho verde, is popular with fish dishes.
A small handful of hotels exist in the capital. Near the town of Santana lies an idyllic bed and breakfast with stunning views. Opulent resorts have been built at the very northern and southern extremes of the country, on the small island of Ilheu das Rolas, and at Ilha Bom Bom off the coast of Principe.
In the main city of Sao Tome several small pousadas (B&Bs) can be found. There are three main hotels in the city.
Pestana. The brand new Pestana Hotel is advertised as the only five-star hotel in the capital, and could comfortably be described as a high four-star. The hotel is owned by the Pestana hotel chain from Lisbon. Most rooms have a great view of the ocean, and a full breakfast is included. Good restaurant, great bar, a decent gym and two infinity pools.
Agosto Neto. This hotel could be described as either a large B&B or a small boutique hotel. This quiet hotel is on a side street a couple of blocks from the Presidential Palace. The hotel is relatively new, spotlessly clean, and will open the kitchen upon request. Full breakfast is included. Internet access in the lobby, and the desk TRIES to speak English.
Miramar. The grand dame of Sao Tome hotels, this place has seen better days. In its heyday you could sit in the lobby and anyone that was important would walk past. The hotel has open wi-fi, so lots of local people still come by. A bit overpriced for what you get. The neighboring Pestana Hotel bought out the elderly German owner last year and is rumored to be converting the Miramar to a conference center.
São Tomé and Príncipe uses the Dobra, which is a restricted currency (the import and export of local currency is prohibited). The import of foreign currency is unlimited subject to declaration, and you may export only up to the amount you import. Travelers' cheques are generally not recommended. Euros, and sometimes dollars, are commonly accepted at larger restaurants and shops.
The official language is Portuguese, and due to the comparative lack of English-speaking tourists, the visitor should assume that it will be necessary.
Malaria is extremely common and sometimes lethal, making malaria prophelaxis, bed netting, and mosquito repellent essential for the traveller. Water must be boiled before drinking, or purchased and consumed from bottles.
Safety is not an issue in São Tomé and Príncipe, though the roadway traffic is hazardous as in other parts of Africa. Violent crime in public is almost unheard of. However, with an increase in tourism there has been an increase in crime against tourists. Road blocks near Santana have been reported, as well as scams targetting tourists in the main city.
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São Tomé and Príncipe is one of the most spectacular places on Earth, yet totally undiscovered. So I've started a travel blog where I report stories about the islands. I'd be thrilled if you find it inspiring: http://saotomeblog.com/I disliked
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