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Take That in Dublin Tonight!
08 May 2015
Take That in Dublin Tonight!
Take That
are prob in Dublin taking in the same air as us. They have arrived in the city for their show in the Three Arena Tonight! It has been four years since their last record-breaking Progress Live tour.
Mark Owen
Gary Barlow
Howard Donald
return to the live circuit promoting their new studio album 'III'.
Take That
have been going since 1990- that is 25 years. For a quarter of a century the world has been listening to hits such as 'Never Forget', 'How deep is your Love' and 'Shine'. There recent revival has seen them grow their fan base with a younger audience that weren't even born when the lads started out.But the years have been kind, Mark, Gary and Howard are looking well, and they still have legions of fans lusting after them.
Take That
are the bench mark for boybands, despite the years they have managed to stay together despite Robbie exiting and Gary becoming a X- Factor Judge. Last Year, Jason ditched the lads. There was no fights or falling out he just had has enough. We get it, there is only so much sexy dancing one person has in them before they want to retire to a quieter life.Jason we support you're retirement we hope the pension plan is whopper.
In their 25 years they have has some memorable moments and here are our
Top Ten Take That Memories:
Do What You Like- The First Video
This is 90s heaven – young lad dancing in leather with lots of cream. There are plenty of crotch zooms, dodge dancing and skin. You can't help but laugh at how badly this video has aged yet it somehow it's a style inspiration. Time to put our knickers over the leggings and wear a bandana.
The Ozone appearance – First TV appearance
This is too funny a preforance and an interview! Its so rough and ready. Event their voices are high pitched and young. Keep an eye out for Garys very chic bleacher hair.
Top of The Pops- First Number One
Top of the Pops was a religiously watched music count doesn't of the uk charts. To be on the show with a number 1 was a big dream. In 1993 our boys made with the single Pray. So many girls screaming and a choreographed dance to make you take dance classes, oh and candles. Dam take that knew their audience!
Smashing Smashits
So the Smashhits was the magazine for any 90s pop enthusiast and dam the covers makes us nostalgic for when you would rip out the posters and cover your walls with faces of your fav bands. Smash hits ruined wall paper across the land- ask any Irish mammy. The covers a treasure!
6. Relight My Fire- collaborating and innovating
Take that joined forces with Lulu. What is a Lulu, well she is a person. Lulu is a singer and 'TV personality' who became massive over a million years ago when she had the hit shout. By the 90s her flame was in need or reigniting and she joined the forces with That Take over the classic song Relight My Fire. The second of the band's eleven number-one hits, it topped the UK Singles Chart for two weeks in October 1993 .This solidified Take That into the hearts and minds of the world.
7. Robbie leaves.
1995 was a tough year for Robbie, he had some issues with drug, drink and being young and famous. He wanted more creative input into the band but fought with Gary and the manager. After binging on coke and booze he hit a low and quit. Fans were devastated. It was emotional. Robbie began a very successful solo career and not long after Take That fell apart and ended their reign of the pop charts. Robbie was a mere 22 and it would be nearly a decade before rumours of a reunion would emerge.
8. The comeback
Then as we all grew and moved on with life we forgot about Take That. The something happened they reunited and made the dreams of millions happen. In May 2006, Take That made a come back that surprise us all, their album Beautiful World, entered the UK album chart at no. 1 and, as of June 2009, had sold over 2.8 million copies in the UK. Proving the lads knew how to reinvent and reconnect with their fans. It set a precedent for boy band reunions world wide.
9. Robbie is Back
Robbie made a beautiful return for the 2010 single shame. Written by Gary and Robbie the song was a hit! They toured, it was magic1 all our old wounds were healed, then it all went to the shi*&tter. Gary was doing X factor and we all tuned in for that. Its hard to keep interest in people who model for Marks and Spencer ..
10. The Best Take That song and video
We all they know the highlight Take That was Never forget. So pu this on repeat and never look back!!!!
Let's hope the boys sing it tonight!!!
Siobhan Perry| FM104 Web Team| 11:03
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Debaters Crush It in Chicago/
Debating last weekend in Chicago against 44 top teams from 22 cities around the country, Josie and Nicole crushed it. It's not easy to get to this place. Only two teams from NYC made it: ICE andBrooklyn Tech. Arguing at a graduate level, the team focused on Feminist Disability Theory looking at the interconnectedness of disability and sex. Then they connected it to relations between the US and China!!
These are difficult, layered arguments. Josie and Nicole made it to the sweet 16, the elite of the elite, finishing 12thin the country. This is very, very big - no school from this area has ever gotten this far. You should know how much work Josie and Nicole put into this.

subset: commoncrawl


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>> > I think the working group felt that >> > introducing context-dependent validation (where the validity of a >> > document depends on factors other than the schema and the instance >> > document) was a risky architectural innovation, and possibly a step >> > that would be later regretted. >> >> So they actually had no reason? Just some vague possibility. > > Actually, now I recall some of the discussion: one of the concerns was > specifically the subject of this original question. Should the referenced > document be schema-validated? If so, how do you prevent circularities, or > infinite regress? Some members of the WG feel strongly that validation > should never pose any denial-of-service risks, and allowing doc() opens up > all sorts of possibilities. "All sorts of possibilities"? Why are any more possibilities for DOS opened up than currently exist with import/include/redefine/xsi:schemaLocation/xsi:noNamespaceSchemaLocation? Security must be a layer above schemas. Securuty policy decides which features are safe or unsafe in a particular deployment, but they needn't decide which features to leave in or out. The DTD spec has entities, but the security warning about the billion laughs attack. In practical terms, retrieval, validation and use of external files should be a command-line or invocation option not one that needs to stymie the XSD WG: make the default that only relative or local URLs can be used, and with lax validation, for example. Trying to find the mythological optimum solution in the absence of information will of course lead to the conclusion that no decision can be made. But trying to find the optimal solution is itself an irrational approach in that situation; the minimum to declare victory is better. > Potential problems like this can consume an immense amount of WG time, and > when a spec is running years late already, there is a strong temptation > for > the chair to encourage people to cut a feature rather than spend time > discussing whether or not it creates a problem. But the bottom line is that when a committee succumbs to agreeing to arguments like "there may be ramifications we have not identified", then it open itself to a selection of features merely based on the whims of one implementer or another. It is a get-out-of-jail free card, since while it looks like a rational argument it actually cannot be argued against by any facts or specific arguments. That is because it is a flawed kind of logic. It gives the appearance of being prudent, but risk assessment is based on looking at real problems and issues, not asserting risks in the absence of any evidence or issues, if you see what I mean. Is it really that XSD is such a rathole of ineracting effects that issues ccannot be thought through, or is it that there is a (legitimate, I would say) difference between the database/data-binding stakeholders who only want schemas to drive their storage/CRUD requirements, and web/messaging/publishing/QA/QC stakeholders who need the schema constraints to reflect their web-based information arrangements? In either case, the solution has to be to take a big axe to XSD: * XSD -lite with no type derivation syntax. Only built-in simple types. Allow xs:choice inside a simple type as an alternative syntax for enumerations. No list or union. No facets. No extension. Some alternative syntax for complexTypes with simpleContent so that there is complexContent and simpleContent can left out. UPA as a caution message not a fatal warning. Fewer restrictions (progress has been made on this, I see). PSVI as an optional In fact, a reconstruction of RELAX NG in XSD syntax, and a prelude for giving up type derivation of complex types as a bad joke. * XSD -fat as a layer on top with type derivation, strict UPA, assertions, etc. reconstructing the existing syntax. XSD after 10 years is facing exactly the same situation that SGML had after 8 years in 1996:stakeholders saw that revision plans were revisions in the direction of being more complex rather than simplifications (so that other layers would reconstruct the culled functionality.) Back 9 years ago, when I was on the WG, there were comments from WG members against modularization or optionality along the lines that validity should always be validity. If this were the real test, then XSD has proven itself an utter failure: witness the XSD profiles from different groups, such as the data-binding profiles at W3C. I trust that on the XSD WG nowadays if anyone talks of reliably-widespread implementation of any components, they get laughed back into reality: the stable door is open, the horse has bolted--it would be more prudent to close the door before putting in more horses. Of course, then comes the predictable excuse that "when we look at it, everyone has different requirements" as if doing nothing was an improvement on at least meeting some stakeholder chunks. People think XSD Recommendation is horrible, and based on barmy editorial principles. But aside from any eccentricities of the specs (and the Recommendations have many virtues too), ultimately the problems with the Recommendations are caused by the complexity of the underlying technology. If the XSD WG wanted a rule-of-thumb for how big a layer should be, I would suggest this: no technology should be so big that an experienced and excellent programmer would take more than a month full-time to implement the layer. I think XML Schemas Datatypes meets this goal. RELAX NG and Schematron and all the parts of DSDL do. But clearly XML Schemas Structures does not: I am not sure that someone could even get competent in the Recommendation in one month. The XSD 1.1 revision is a great step forwards, but this is not much use when you are falling down a hole. Of course I think assertions and so on are really useful. But they are being tacked onto a Heath Robinson/Rube Goldeberg machine, and it doesn't have to be that way. Cheers Rick JelliffeReceived on Sunday, 3 May 2009 06:00:10 UTC
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.3.1 : Wednesday, 7 January 2015 14:56:16 UTC


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MARKET WATCH: Crude oil futures price climbs modestly
Crude oil futures prices climbed modestly on both London and New York markets on Jan. 17 in advance of the Jan. 20 Martin Luther King Jr. holiday when US markets were closed.
Crude oil futures prices climbed modestly on both London and New York markets on Jan. 17 in advance of the Jan. 20 Martin Luther King Jr. holiday when US markets were closed.
Ole Hansen, head of commodity strategy at Saxo Bank, said he believes US benchmark light, sweet crude oil prices for February delivery "may find resistance ahead of $94.87[/bbl]."
Hansen also noted Brent crude oil for March delivery appears to be in a "down channel" given the potential of increased flow of oil from Libya and Iran. The Brent February contract expired last week.
The New York Mercantile Exchange February crude contract gained 41¢ on Jan. 17, closing at $94.37/bbl, which was the front month's highest settlement since Jan. 2. The March contract climbed 49¢ to settle at $94.59/bbl.
Heating oil for February delivery rose 3.9¢ to a rounded $3.03/gal. Reformulated gasoline stock for oxygenate blending for February delivery was up 2.5¢ to rounded $2.62/gal.
The February natural gas contract on NYMEX dropped 5.6¢ to reach a rounded $4.33/MMbtu. On the US spot market, the gas price at Henry Hub was $4.40/MMbtu, a decrease of 13¢.
In London, the March ICE contract for Brent crude oil added 73¢, closing at $106.48/bbl. The April Brent contract gained 63¢ to settle at $105.94/bbl. The ICE gas oil contract for February climbed $8.75 to $916.25/tonne.
The Organizational of Petroleum Exporting Countries reported its basket of 12 benchmark crudes was $104.05/bbl on Jan. 17, which was down 42¢ from the previous day.
Contact Paula Dittrick at email@example.com.


text: I'm one of 5 speakers tonight at the NY Photogroup Salon at SoHo Photo. Looks to be quite an eclectic grouping of work so I highly suggest you stop by if you've got the night free. $10 at the door, but I've heard that they're well worth it. I'll be sure to make your $2 for me worth your while.


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Austin Film Festival - Shy Guys
Strangers (Tony winner Reed Birney and Blake DeLong) bravely confront and resolve one of the most terrifying and perplexing scourges to ever afflict mankind...while standing at urinals with their willies out.
Interview with Writer/Director/Producer Fredric Lehne
Congratulations! Why did you make your film?
Thank you! I made Shy Guys to see if I could. To create something with other humans. To get off the couch.
Imagine I'm a member of the audience. Why should I watch this film?
Because you''ll laugh. A lot. Then you'll say, "awww." You'll feel happy and satisfied. I got lucky making this film; It works. I'm proud of it.
How do personal and universal themes work in your film?
No matter the issue, honest human connection is the answer.
How have the script and film evolved over the course of their development and production?
I was initially going to shoot this myself with my own camera and a bunch of friends for as close to nothing as possible. But I took a flyer, got the script to 2016 Tony winner Reed Birney and he, to my great delight, wanted to come aboard.
I really believed in the script and I had Reed. So I shifted gears and decided to do this as best I could, as professionally as possible. I cancelled the trip to Spain, hired a crew, and rented really good gear. It was worth it.
The script was only ten pages. I wanted it as tight as it could be. I belong to a screenwriting group - we kicked it around there, and the offending passage (a one page sequence) became pretty obvious. But I really wanted to hold on to it. Once the actors were set we had a rehearsal (invaluable), worked it both ways, and, yes, I killed my darling. Much better off for it.
I was at a film festival in NYC last night and saw several shorts that could have benefitted by trimming fat and not hitting the same chord too many times.
What type of feedback have you received so far?
Hearing a couple hundred people laughing their butts off watching Shy Guys is one of the greatest feelings ever. From our premiere at the Austin Film Festival to the teen filmmaking class at our local high school we have had nothing but big smiles and incredibly nice compliments.
Has the feedback surprised or challenged your point of view?
The feedback is a delightful relief. We all want people to like our stuff. I feel my point of view has been given confidence, at least in the silly department.
What are you looking to achieve by having your film more visible on www.wearemovingstories.com?
The website's very cool. I could hang around on it for a long time. Achieve? I'm more of a see-where-life-takes-me guy. It's worked pretty well so far.
Who do you need to come on board (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists) to amplify this film's message?
I don't know. Shy Guys is not really a "message" film. It's just a real good giggle. It's doing well on the festival circuit. Distributors? The distribution market for short films is...well, is there one?
What type of impact and/or reception would you like this film to have?
Just that people laugh, belly laugh, wipe the tears laugh. I wouldn't mind if folks walked away thinking I'm not a half bad writer/director, either.
What's a key question that will help spark a debate or begin a conversation about this film?
You ever have trouble peeing in public?
Did you go to Catholic school?
Would you like to add anything else?
I do finally have a feature script that I truly like and believe in called Bears & Ghosts. I've gotten it to my dream cast (it worked last time) and I'll proceed from there. It's a supernatural dark comedy about redemption through brotherly love.
What are you developing or working on now?
Film Title: Bears & Ghosts
Logline: Three dissatisfied middle-aged brothers reunite at their family's cabin-by-the-lake to bury their father - a wacky spiritual guru to millions - next to their mother whom one of them shot in the head when they were kids. It's a comedy.
Length: Feature
Interview: November 2016
We Are Moving Stories embraces new voices in drama, documentary, animation, TV, web series and music video. If you have just made a film - we'd love to hear from you. Or if you know a filmmaker - can you recommend us? More info: Carmela
Shy Guys
Strangers (Tony winner Reed Birney and Blake DeLong) bravely confront and resolve one of the most terrifying and perplexing scourges to ever afflict mankind...while standing at urinals with their willies out.
Length: Feature
Writer: Fredric Lehne
About the writer, director and producer:
FREDRIC LEHNE : Ubiquitous character actor with over 200
appearances in film, television and stage productions from Broadway to Miami to Portland, Oregon.
Feature films include Zero Dark Thirty, Men In Black, The Dark
Knight Rises, Con Air, Ordinary People, Being There and Talulah.
He is perhaps best known for his television work as a regular or recurring character on the shows Lost, American Horror Story, Supernatural, Chicago Fire, Public Morals and Dallas, as well as the acclaimed Mini-Series From The Earth To The Moon and Billionaire Boys Club.
Shy Guys marks his directorial debut.
Looking for (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists):
Sure, you might love the script and want to help!


text:
Construction Project Management
At B&G Builders, we pride ourselves on operating a construction company that is relationship driven, fostering a team-based atmosphere and placing our highest priorities on exceeding our client's expectations. We strive to do this by paying close attention to preconstruction (in the areas of design constructability, budget and schedule), promoting sustainable construction practices, and maintaining a safe and fun work environment. While the concepts of finishing projects on time and delivering them at or under budget are inherent in what we do, we also work hard at interacting with the Design Team, Owner's Representative(s) and Subcontractors/Suppliers, so that the entire team is committed to the owner's goals for the project, along with B&G's approach to project management.
Our highest priority during the pre-construction phase is to ensure that the Owner receives reliable information as to how much the project will cost so they can plan appropriately for project financing. By doing this, B&G becomes an integrated and collaborative team member that tracks costs, informs the team of budget and schedule implications of design decisions, and provides specific recommendations to minimize costs, improve quality and optimize schedule throughout the process. We then utilize this same strategy on all subsequent pricing revisions until the project has achieved a budget that is satisfactory and is ready for construction.
Design Process
Once original budgets have been set and approved by the Owner, it is our job to monitor the design process and inform the team when the design might be exceeding the budget. When materials, systems, or scopes of work are designed that are out of line with previous budgets, we can offer value engineering suggestions and/or give the Owner the opportunity to change the budget accordingly. By staying closely informed on design decisions and progress, we are able to manage estimating, scheduling, constructability, design/build subcontractor selection, value engineering, in order to successfully keep the job on budget throughout the design phase and into construction.
Project Scheduling
One of the integral steps in our cost estimating process is to create a project schedule. This schedule helps to determine the cost of general conditions and management allocation for the project, as well as serve as a guide for the project team. Through the course of construction, we typically hold meetings for the project team (Owner, Architect, and Contractor) on a weekly basis, bringing updated schedules and notifying team members of any changes since the last meeting/schedule update. Similar scheduling meetings take place with our subcontractors, suppliers, and employees. By having accurate, consistently updated, and well communicated schedules, we are consistently able to achieve scheduling success on all of our projects.


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Becoming a parent is a significant change in every one's life, but young parents have had less years to prepare and as a result they struggle with economic and housing stability and in accessing the support they need.
Through Hatch, doula services are uniquely accessible to low-income families!
Hatch serves ALL young parents generally under 24 years old, extending significant support to low-income young parents who are transitioning out of the foster care system, survivors of sex-trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation and young LGBTQ families. Hatch welcomes young parents of all religions, races, abilities, gender identities and sexual orientations.
"There is no ageism in this program, everyone brings a wealth of knowledge we can all benefit from. No one is better than another." Moe-Moe 23, Hatch Doula
Why a focus on serving foster youth?
Former foster youth face more barriers and obstacles than the general population.
- 60% become parents within 2 years of leaving care
- About 80% are NOT fully self-sufficient within 4 years of leaving care
- 30 % depend on county assisted programs
- 1 in 4 face homelessness
- 50% graduate high school
- 45 % of emancipated youth are unemployed
Trends show that young people who are commercially sexually exploited or have experienced sex-trafficking in the U.S. can also have histories in the foster care system. Trends also show that some young women are able to leave sex trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation when they become pregnant.
Young parents are resilient. And Hatch is a support that draws on their strengths and helps them realize their potential.


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Photography Classes in Ferney SD
Are you looking to learn about photography in Ferney SD? Whether you are a hobbyist, professional, or beginner, the most effective approach to improving your photography technique is through hands-on training with skilled instructors.
South Dakota has numerous recognized and accredited photography schools. Topics taught in photography classes include lighting, exposure and composition, posing and unposing, portrait capture, and other photography fundamentals. Being a skilled photographer can lead to a lifelong hobby or a prosperous professional career.
There are many Photography Classes in Ferney SD:
- Ferney Photography 101
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- Ferney Nature Photography Classes
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Ferney SD Photography Classes
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Phone: (218) 736-1500
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Central Lakes College-Brainerd
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Brainerd, Minnesota 56401-3900
Phone: (218) 855-8000
199.11 miles away


text:
MT program teaches women outdoors activities, survival
KAJ18 Kalispell Montana News
RED LODGE - Outdoor activities like hunting, fishing and cross country skiing are a big part of the winter lifestyle in Big Sky Country. But for some women, a lack of proper equipment of even knowledge can keep them indoors. Montana's Fish, Wildlife ...
Becoming an Outdoors-Woman Scholarships availableJacksonville Daily News
Becoming an Outdoors-Woman Scholarships now AvailableBeach Carolina Magazine
all 7 news articles View Our Outdoor Source>>>>>>>>>>>>> .


text:
Got ASL Grammar Rules Overwhelm?
Download the Grammar Rules Checklist to make life easier. I've got 2 checklists for you:
The WHILE checklist helps you to include all the parts and help make your ASL sentences super clear.
The AFTER checklist helps you to check your work. This is extremely helpful when you don't have a teacher or mentor at hand to ask how each and every single sentence you've written or translated looks. Is it right? Now you can ask yourself and know the answer.
Included are a few ASL grammar lessons and tips.
Set yourself free from doubt. Have fun with signing again!


text:
'Allo there!
Thanks for moseying on over to my page. Some of you might already know me, while others amongst you probably haven't (yet) had the chance to hear me argue about why '80s rock is the ultimate form of music and why espresso might very well be the elixir of life.
Who am I?
I'm a freelance writer and amateur photographer currently living in Goa, India. Before striking out on my own, I spent three exciting years as Editor – Special Projects at India's leading tech magazine, Stuff, where I worked on everything from features and product reviews to advertorials and print innovations. Going back further, I've also worked as Associate Editor with India's definitive travel guide, Outlook Traveller Getaways.
Apart from this, my articles and/or photos have appeared in several prestigious magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Times of India Crest Edition, Sunday Guardian, India Deluxe Life, Zeitgeist Asia, Life Positive, MensXP, and Management Compass. In the past, I've also worked on blogs, marketing copy, and guest articles for a few leading startups.
These days, I'm writing for some of India's leading titles, including Mint Lounge, Maxim, Killer Features, Air India Magazine, and Tech Insider.
Stuff that I love
I'm the naturally curious sort, which is probably why I became a journalist. But while I love learning more about anything (and everything) under the sun, there's a special place in my heart for some stuff – technology, travel, cars, pop culture, music, and history. As for what I'm up to when not at work, I'm either downing way more espresso than I should, listening to heavy metal, or watching reruns of cheesy '80s movies and TV shows.
Get in touch with me
Mail me, or follow me on Twitter and Instagram, and do check out my travel photography galleries on 500px.


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text:
This section contains 888 words
(approx. 3 pages at 400 words per page)
Point of View
The story is told in first-person narration, filtered through the eyes, ears, and thoughts of the young unnamed narrator. The narrator is eleven at the outset of the novel, and thirteen by the end. Nearing adulthood as she is, and described as the "smart one" by her friends, the narrator has a mature perspective on events but is nonetheless still a child who cannot fully comprehend certain things, such as the racist motivations behind Tupac's persecution.
The narrator struggles with many of the typical puberty-era challenges the target reader may be struggling with: issues of acceptance and peer pressure, awkwardness due to sudden growth spurts, uncertainty about one's purpose or ultimate goals, and a desire to break free from one's parents to become an independent individual. Target readers will likely identify with the narrator's struggles and relate these struggles to their own lives.
With significant candor...
This section contains 888 words
(approx. 3 pages at 400 words per page)


text:
In honor of National Bike Month we are taking a common challenge for cyclists and using it as a "tip of the hat" symbol of support and solidarity for women new to the activity.
Show your support by following Get Women Cycling on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Back our campaign by tweeting, posting, and sharing your best helmet hair snapshots, doodles, or prose!
#ShowMeHelmetHair #HaveFun #CommuteByBike #BeSpontaneous #BikeMonth2019


text:
Following a year that holds the devastating record for the highest number of traffic fatalities, the Charles County Sheriffs Office announced today that fatal motor vehicle crashes continue to occur at an alarming rate. Twenty-seven people have died in 24 crashes in Charles County so far this year, 12 of which were alcohol related.
Fatal crashes remain an enormous public safety concern, said Sheriff Davis. We have not relented in our efforts to enforce traffic laws but motorists continue to make irresponsible decisions behind the wheel. We must work together to end that dangerous behavior.
In 2005, 40 people died in 34 crashes on Charles County roadways and in 2004, 16 people died in 15 crashes. The crashes this year are not specific to any particular area or roadway in the County. Speed, driver error and failure to wear a seatbelt are factors in many crashes. Half of the crashes have been alcohol related. Age is not a common factor.
So far this year, Sheriffs officers have issued 1,673 child safety seat and seatbelt citations and 4,282 speeding citations. The Sheriffs Office, Maryland State Police and La Plata Town Police have collectively issued 352 citations for driving under the influence.
The Charles County Sheriffs Office enforces traffic laws year-round and heightens awareness about the importance of properly wearing seatbelts and using child safety seats during the annual Chiefs Challenge campaign held from April to June. During the two-month campaign, the Traffic Operations Unit holds random seatbelt checkpoints and sends notices to the media to raise public awareness about the Challenge. Some businesses also display messages on their marquees that remind motorists to buckle-up. Among its other traffic safety efforts, the Sheriffs Office also conducts sobriety checkpoints.
To help combat alarming traffic fatality and injury statistics, the Sheriffs Office will continue to enforce traffic laws and to participate in public education activities. However, they need the communitys help.
We do everything we can to enforce the law, but preventing a tragedy really begins with the decisions you make every time you get behind the wheel. Your actions impact your own life and safety and that of your passengers and fellow motorists. Driving is an enormous responsibility and everything you do counts, said Sheriff Davis. The Sheriff offered these tips for motorists:
* Wear your seatbelt and ensure your passengers child and adult are properly secured before you take the car out of park.
* Obey the posted speed limit.
* Adjust your speed to fit weather conditions. If its snowing or icy, the speed limit is sometimes still too fast. Make sure you have your headlights and your windshield wipers turned on when it rains.
* Make driving your priority. When something is distracting you a cell phone call, a misbehaving child pull over to the side of the road. When your main focus is not on the road, you shouldnt be driving.
* Never get behind the wheel if you have had too much to drink.


text:
Selassie's speech on Human Rights
Colonialism and the policy of racism impose soul searching questions of human rights, weighing equally on the conscience of all men and nations of good-will. History amply shows that the freedom enjoyed by the many becomes fragile when the denial, even to the few, of basic human rights is tolerated.
Our efforts as free men must be to establish new relationships, devoid of any resentment and hostility, restored to our belief and faith in ourselves as individuals, dealing on a basis of equality with other equally free people.
We believe in cooperation and collaboration to promote the cause of international security, the equality of man and the welfare of mankind.
We believe in the peaceful settlement of all disputes without resorting to force.
All well ordered and modern states can only base themselves upon Courts of Justice and Conduct of Laws which are just, correct and geared towards the protection of the rights of individuals.
Justice is a product of education.
Man's ingratitude to man is often manifested in willingness to relegate human beings to the scrapheaps of life when they enter the twilight of their careers and younger brains and stronger arms are found to replace them.
This work is in the public domain because it was first created in Ethiopia.
Under Title XI of the 1960 Ethiopian Civil Code, copyright exists only during the lifetime of the author.
In addition, any potential Ethiopian copyrights are non-binding in the United States, according to Circ. 38a of the US Copyright Office.
This work is in the public domain worldwide because it has been so released by the copyright holder.


text: The Job Corps initiative is a successful way for young adults who have had a rough start prepare for a smooth future. The Corps will aid you in finishing your education, train you for a job, and give you a place to stay while doing so. The Job Corps in Albuquerque is no different, except that some of those â??livingâ? there may have just been there from a time when the building was an orphanage and boysâ?? school.


text:
Durango's weekly alternative newspaper, the Telegraph, has a lovely little advice column called Ask The Diver. Basically, folks from around town send in questions, and other folks from around town answer them. It's pretty sweet - if you don't read it on a weekly basis, you should. In any case, VC's Joey Ernst spends his fair share of time being the Diver, and due to popular demand we've archived his columns here for your amusement, beginning with the most recent.
Interesting facts: It's election year and the circus is in town / time to pick a winner from a line of clowns (no offense meant to actual clowns)
Dear Diver,
The other day, I went to a restaurant, where I ordered the kale salad, hold the cheese and chicken. The menu was confusing as to which salad prices "included" protein. Some did, some didn't. Suffice to say, I paid $15.50 for a small plate of kale with a few chunks of jicama and carrot. I complained to the manager that I was healing from cancer and can only have organic chicken and that a plate of kale shouldn't be $15.50. But he said he would not remove the $5 up-charge for chicken (which I did not have) because it took a lot of prep. What kind of restaurant serves a kale salad without a meatless option? Worst restaurant in Durango! Who scares off a customer over $5?
– Stuck in My Craw
Dear Complainer,
Could you have written a longer version of such a short question? Now I don't have the space to solve your kale conundrum, but I'll try: Next time order the "entitled hippie special" – they'll get the picture right away.
-Maybe they just didn't want you back, the Diver
Dear Diver,
The other day, I passed by a construction zone and there were four guys standing around watching one guy shovel. Is this what our tax dollars pay for, to have one guy work and the other three cheer him on? I guess at the least there's a good punchline in there somewhere.
– Street Walker
Dear Walkin' Dude,
No, our tax dollars pay for cluster bombs, fighter jets, and congressional gridlock. Fractions of tax pennies pay for street workers, who, while lazy almost by tradition at this point, still face the real possibility of ignominious death by texting teenage driver. I get nervous having to cross the street – imagine having to lean on a shovel in the middle of the road all day! Almost certain death! So, let's cut 'em some slack... I mean, a bit more than they've already taken.
-Hopefully they take turns "supervising", the Diver
Dear Diver,
With the shorter days and winter closing in, I am starting to get really depressed because I won't be able to get off work and still get in a quickie afterwards. And mornings are just too darned cold and bleak. Please, diver, help me deal with the darkness.
Dear Sounds Awfully Depressed,
"Quickie"=bike ride, mmkay? I'd rather not know otherwise. Winter-wise, you've got a couple options: A) Man (or woman) up and go ride when it's dark and/or cold, or B) Just pull the covers over your head and cry yourself fatter over the winter. Although many may opt for B, I'm advising you to choose A. Ever ride at night, or in the snow? It's awesome. Unfortunately I definitely don't know of any bike shop in town that stocks tons of awesome fatbikes, lights, winter gear, and motivation. That's too bad – back to option B. Tissue?
-I moonlight at that bike shop, the Diver
Interesting facts: If we stacked up 220 million bikes end to end, we'd reach the moon. Sorry, random – but the calculator was just sitting here...
Dear Diver,
Now that pot is legal in Colorado, I am so sick of people from other states always giving me the business, like "Oh, you're from Colorado; wink, wink; nudge, nudge," like I'm some sort of huge stoner. How do I convince them that not only am I not a stoner, but I hardly ever touch the stuff. It's really getting annoying.
– Stone Sober
Dear Almost-Straightedge (XX!),
In my line of Divering, I talk to a lot of tourists. An increasing number of said tourists are asking me, oh so innocently, "So what's up with the legal weed?" When I say I never touch the stuff (except that once by accident; never, ever, leave cookies untended around me), I certainly get that skeptical attitude. That, or I get the highly amusing "I was just curious, I didn't want any for myself ... ." Sure, middle-aged soccer mom from Missouri, I read you loud and clear. Wink, nudge. In response to your question, Sober, you're going to have to realize that many people want to be "naturally" sedated – and they don't believe in people who prefer an all-natural perspective, all the time. Just deal with the innuendo and take comfort in the realization that you don't have a strange addiction to Doritos and bad sitcoms.
– Mostly XX for life, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Please settle a discussion between my friends and I. We are confused about the differences between a "bar," tavern" "pub" and "saloon." Not to mention the more esoteric terms like "spiritorium," "cocktail lounge" and "speakeasy." Are they all interchangeable, or have we been drinking at the wrong place all these years?
– Bar Fly
Dear Fly On The Wall At The Watering Hole,
Please adhere to the following standards, approved by absolutely nobody in particular. Bar: Where one goes to watch muted ball sports and ignore other people. Tavern: A place where all those other people are smoking Marlboros while swilling Budweiser. Pub: A dying form of tavern in the UK. Saloon: Swinging doors, big hats, danger of death due to live ammunition. Spirit-whatsit: Pretentious ghosts drinking hard liquor. Cocktail Lounge: A place where girls drink girly drinks and... ah... cocks chase tails... speaking of roosters of course. Speakeasy: Doesn't appear to actually exist, as every place of watering hole I've visited has been more like a SpeakLOUD! There you go – no more fear of going to the wrong location next time you want a simple drink. You're welcome.
– Make mine a brewery, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Should the liquid in the can of beans be drained before consuming the beans? I insist on draining but my husband is a nondrainer. It drives me crazy. Who is right, and more importantly, can our marriage be saved?
– A Hill of Beans
Dear Beano,
A simple question to answer yours: Whose meals produce a more fruitful melody later that night? That person is in the wrong. And can your marriage be saved? Since you're asking this question in response to differing ways of preparing legumes, sorry – nope.
– Enjoy those burritos, the Diver
Interesting facts: Fatbikes make your butt look smaller. Really.
Dear Diver,
Like many things in Durango, it seems there are two ways to pronounce "Wapiti" when referring to the run at Purgatory. There are some folks who take the common pronounciation "wop-EEE-dee" and there's a few who run it all together and say "WOP-pity" (rhymes with "boppity.") Please help settle this confusing take on local nomenclature, preferably before the next big storm.
Goes Both Ways
Dear Swinger,
"Preferably before the next big storm"? Okay, I'll just put this question on hold until March or so. ...Okay, I'm being told there's a 0.05% chance of snow this very weekend. You're spared the wait. Anyone who visits or moves to our fair burg realizes very quickly that things are not always as they seem. "Flori-da/Flo-ree-da", for instance – how should you know, when asking for directions to Bread, that it's a secret password so that we D-town dwellers can determine if you're an outdoorsy, vaguely hippie-like outsider, or an outdoorsy, vaguely hippie-like resident? (Other than the fact that you don't know where Bread is already, of course.) The Weminuche Wilderness is another one – my favorite pronunciation is "train-served, gaper-trashed basins" whoops, meant to say "WEE-man-OO-chee". As for the Wapiti run at Purg – I'm no skier. So yeah – not gonna be able to help you out there. Sorry.
-Good luck with that, the dee-VER
Dear Diver,
So my girlfriend has an overly friendly dog who is fond of jumping up on people. I think it's rude and am constantly telling him to get down, but she thinks it's "cute" and considers it a "hug." How do I convince her, delicately, that not everyone wants a sloppy, muddy hug from an oversized puppy without hurting her feelings?
All Paws
Dear Cat-lover-Republican,
Sacrilegious! You don't want a HUG from a DOG? Why do you even live in Durango, or even Colorado? I bet you don't like beer or bicycles either. How many guns do you own? How many giant lifted diesel trucks? You don't want a HUG from a DOG? Just move back to Texas or Wyoming! I bet you can pick your NRA membership up where you left off when you moved here. You don't want a HUG from a DOG??!
Or, you could just try telling your girlfriend that you don't want her dog jumping on you all the time. It's not that hard to understand – just ask her to instill some good manners in her unruly pup, please and thank you.
-No HUGS from DOGS, please, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Every year after the holidays, my husband goes on the wagon until Snowdown. He is trying to convince me to join him, but I think I would rather he just be the designated wagon driver. Is a month of sobriety really worth it? Won't my system go into shock if I suddenly quit cold turkey?
Boxed In
Dear Box Wine Aficionado,
Two things immediately come to mind. #1: Everything in moderation. If your husband drinks, why arbitrarily quit for 1/12th of the year, unless he feels bad about the other 11/12ths? And, #2: Everything in moderation. If your system goes into shock because you quit drinking, that's a pretty good sign that moderation isn't part of your drinking routine. Here's my draconian prescription to restore moderation, beginning with extreme prohibition to counter your last 11 hazy, sodden months: Quit drinking now, and for the duration of the winter. If you can successfully avoid drinking through both the drunken orgy that is Snowdown and the remainder of the dark, cold nights of winter, then you will both know you're not alcoholics. Then, and only then, will it be safe to open up, like a flower in spring, to occasional watering with some delicious Mexican Logger or even box wine, if you must. Have fun detoxing!
-This may or may not be the worst advice ever given, the Diver
Interesting facts: Joey's mom doesn't write love letters to the Telegraph because she wants the Wildcat to continue believing he's special
Dear Diver,
The ice cream man in my neighborhood always plays "When the Saints Go Marching In." What does that have to do with ice cream? Shouldn't they play something more appropriate, like "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen? Or is it a covert attempt to convert our children?
– Sweet Tooth
Dear Sweetie,
We must live in the same neighborhood, as the ice cream man here plays the same repetitive song. I've been plotting ways to hijack him, though. On one hand, I could just jump on the van and tear the megaphone off the top. Ah, blessed silence. On the other hand, I could sneak inside and figure out a way to play something much more fitting … say, "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Car," by Billy Ocean. Ah, blessed irony. The kids probably wouldn't get it, though, and it would be just as annoying after a while. Maybe the best thing to do is just to buy ice cream from the new ice-cream-trike folks on the bike path – best ice cream in town, and they don't play any stupid songs! It's win-win, and the only potential conversion to fear is to ice cream snobbery – a good thing in my book.
– Don't talk to strangers in vans, the Diver
Dear Diver,
I keep seeing a "foam party" advertised in the calendar at a local bar. What sorts of things go on at a foam party? Is it good clean fun?
– Sudsy
Dear Suds,
I have no idea what a "foam party" is. But I'd bet that "foam party" is shorthand for "phone home party." A savvy bar owner in a town like Durango understands that most people are here because they like it better than wherever they came from. So when we call back home, only to hear about Aunt Erma's ear infection, JimBob's cow-tipping feud, and how we really need to move back to Kentucky, our reaction is to look for the nearest open container of alcohol. This is where that savvy bar owner comes in, offering reasonably priced anesthesia for our familial woes. Get a whole bunch of people calling back home at once, and you're bound to sell a lot of booze. Hence, the "foam party" – nothing more than a way to sell more beer.
– There's no way I'm off base on this one, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Who is the Diver's choice for the best small-person actor of '80s sitcoms? I think, hands down, it was Tattoo from "Fantasy Island," but my friend thinks it was Gary Coleman. Of course, Webster is another small actor who made a big impact. Who does the diver think was king of the molehill on '80s TV?
– Couch Potato
Dear Couchy,
Your Diver wants to know who the hell let this question get through the approval process. I've never owned a TV, and even if I had, I wasn't old enough in the 1980s to remember any lame TV actors from the era. In fact, what little I can remember from the 1980s I'd prefer to forget – even as a child, the culture of the time seemed excessive, poor in both taste and style. Just listen to some of the music from that time – or, rather, don't. Unfortunately, in response to your question: "Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
– Get outside a little more often, the Diver
Interesting Facts: American roads were first paved for the use of bicycles. Take that, brodozers.
Dear Diver,
What's up with the annual Durango spring break-ups? Each year at this time the flowers start to bloom just as local relationships wither. Does this happen in other towns? And what can I do to avoid my boyfriend dumping me?
–Signed, Nervous Nelly
Salutations, Nellster,
I'm not sure what you're talking about. My now-wife and I moved here together, pre-ball-'n'-chain, and somehow we still ended up tying the knot. All I can say is the odds are in your favor – after all, it's like 55 percent men, 45 percent women around here. Maybe even 60/40. Just make sure you're a good lady Durangoan – climb/bike/kayak/ski/yoga (yes, all that) with the best of them, you're quite good at the hippie-loosey-shakey dance, and you're really into that mary-ja-wanna. You might even grow some natty fashion-dreads. What normal Durango man could resist you? Besides me, I mean.
–No worries, the Diver
Dear Diver,
If Lance Armstrong paid the USPS all the money he "earned" from them, would the postal service be solvent again?
-Just Wondering
Dear Wondering,
1: The Postal Service will never be solvent again. At this point, the only reason politicians aren't cutting the cord is because they enjoy having a dedicated outlet for all their lame, glossy campaign pamphlets. 2: What you should be wondering is how doped-up egotistical guys in stretchy pants get paid zillions of dollars to do something the rest of us go out and do for free. We dish-divers, waitresses and small bike shop owners (all in the same income bracket, believe me) work our booties off at real jobs, then go play outside for the fun of it. But somehow we're OK with paying cyclists – and footballists, baseballists, and other-ists – big money to do the same things, but with more drugs and less sportsmanship. The human psyche is a mysterious thing. Whenever someone wants to step up and pay our bike polo team zillions of dollars to play, we're all down. Anyone? Anyone?
– It's hard to be a sellout when no one is buying, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Often, when I'm riding my bike around town, I get confused about the proper protocol for navigating intersections. For example, is it OK to run a stop sign if you're actually saving other drivers from having to stop and wait for you to come to a complete stop and get going again? And what is the right way to access the sidewalk without making angry men in trucks want to shoot or run me over?
–Riding Scared
Dearest Scaredy,
Oh boy. "Proper protocol?" Guess what: It's called traffic law. You might know it, say, if you're virtually every American over 16. In theory, anyway, as a lot of drivers' actions leave that open for debate. Your bike IS a vehicle. Substitute "car" for "bike" in your questions above … no, it's not OK to run a stop sign in your car, and there is no right way to access the sidewalk in your car, period. Your type, along with Lycra sausages who refuse to ride single file even when they're stacking cars like pancakes, are the ones who sour public sentiment for the rest of us. So when short guys in 3-ton brodozers buzz you, it's because another rider did something stupid in front of them yesterday (also, because those brodozer guys are insecure cretins). Ride predictably and follow traffic laws. Pretend you're invisible and ride defensively. Drivers' awareness often sucks – and if you get into a bike vs. car, you lose, no matter who was in the wrong. Now get out and ride… and for goodness' sake, put some lights on your bike!
– Tough love: Hurts now, helps later, the Diver
Interesting Facts: Long-hair cats start shedding when it's 50 degrees outside, even in January. Either that, or my cat is going bald.
Dear Diver,
Over the past few years, I've noticed an increase in the saying "Happy Snowdown." As in, "Have a Happy Snowdown!" Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this overkill? I don't even really like Snowdown, so what am I supposed to say to these people? When did Snowdown become an official holiday around here?
Durango Anarchist
Dear Killjoy,
If there's one thing Durango likes better than dogs, bicycles, and giant diesel trucks for guys with size issues, it's drinking beer. That, and costuming up as excitedly as third-graders getting ready for their first school play. And if Durangoans can do things like jump in a pool full of beer while wearing said costumes, they are going to be more excited than Tom Chapman or Red McCombs finding a new mining claim for sale in a wilderness area. This means that if you dislike Snowdown, you're the odd one out. Don't worry, I'm right there with you. I don't get Snowdown either - but that's because I'm a stick in the mud who can only handle a beer at a time and whose only costume idea would involve donning a ski mask and a tutu. What's your excuse? You need one, so that when someone says "Happy Snowdown!" you can explain why you're a raging bore. If that sounds like too much, just frown and stalk away. That's what I do, and it works every time.
-They'll get the idea, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Sometimes, when my dog poops in rich peoples' yards, I don't pick it up. I see it as a way of sticking it to the man, telling him that despite his big fancy house, his shit stinks too. (At the very least, they'll walk in it and ruin a pricey pair of shoes.) Is this the wrong way to get back at the 1 percenters?
Robin Hood
Dear Robbin' the 'hood of clean walking space,
If you really want to stick it to the man, you're going to have to work a little harder than that. Follow the below 5-step program to make your point. 1: Every time your dog takes a pee, collect it. 2: Once you've got a good 55-gallon drum's worth, drive on over to Wall Street – yes, that Wall Street. 3: This is the tricky part – without getting caught, you have to rig the drum of golden goodness over the door to the New York Stock Exchange under cover of darkness. 4: When the first rush of one-percenters hits the door in the morning, all in a hurry to make zillions of dollars, your cleverly-rigged drum will give them a literal interpretation of what "trickle-down" economics feels like on this end of the socioeconomic ladder, showering them with gold from above. What a delightfully ironic (and salty) way of turning the tables! 5: Make no mention of me when you're rotting in prison. This is important.
-For the 99%, the Diver
Dear Diver,
Please help me, as I am a bit confused. So, you're telling me it is now legal to smoke marijuana in this state, but I still can't walk into a grocery store and buy full-strength beer? Are the gods crazy?
Suds 'n Buds
Dear Sudsy-wudsy,
Life is full of contradictions. For example, every morning now I awake to find myself covered in approximately one long-haired-cat's worth of fur. But when I look at the cat, he's still smugly furry. I ask myself, are the gods crazy? Or get this one: All those conservative commenters on every Herald article, bloviating about hard work and values – how are they always lounging in front of their computers, hanging on every word? I ask myself, are the gods crazy? Or texting and driving: How the hell do people imagine they can both drive safely (which does, believe me, entail looking at the road) and type out messages ("Hey BFF! Be thr soon! Drvng ovr rite -" CRASH!... "OMG, just ran ovr a cyclist! LOL!") on teensy little buttons with both hands? Yet again, I ask myself, are the gods crazy? Then I realize, nope – people are. Cats too.
-Look out for crazies of all species, the Diver
Interesting Facts: Joey doesn't ski. (There, it's out.) Instead he rides bikes all winter. Conformity is overrated.
Dear Diver,
According to a Texas preacher, Obama's re-election will pave the way for the antichrist to re-appear. My question is, what should I wear for such an auspicious occasion?
– Thanks in advance, John the Baptist
Hello John Not-the-Baptist,
As I understand it, the Antichrist is pretty much something prophesied to appear, necessary before the second coming of that big guy in the sky. You can't have a big old showdown without someone to fight. If Christos himself is the red Rock 'Em Sock 'Em boxer, then the Antichrist is the necessary blue opponent (see? They're even politically color-coded). Thus, since Texas preachers and other fundamentalists are just waiting for Jesus to come back, you'd think that they'd all be voting like crazy for every progressive candidate on the ticket, just to hasten their day of righteous judgment. "Crazy Right-Wingers for Obama!" I'm waiting for it. As for what to wear – what do I look like, a fashion consultant? Anyone who knows me knows better.
– Fire and brimstone, the Diver
Dear Diver,
I just read about a local turkey testicle eating contest in which you could win a vacation to Mexico. I was thinking of entering, but as a young male of reproductive age, is it safe to eat another animals gonads?
– Testes Tom
Greetings young Tom,
As a "young male of reproductive age," a little turkey testosterone won't hurt you. In fact, it may indeed help you. Perhaps if you were to eat turkey ovaries instead (if indeed such a thing exists – I'm too lazy to do a web search) it would be unsafe for you – too much turkey estrogen and so on. But, say, worst case scenario: You eat a crapload of turkey testicles, win the trip to Mexico, and while you're there a bright red snood (that turkey-beak's Trump hairpiece thingy) grows off your nose. Look on the bright side – given our health-care system here at home, at least you'll be in a place where the surgery is cheap and probably won't kill you with a staph infection! I say go for it.
– Gobble gobble, the Diver
Dear Diver,
What's up with morning people? I am traveling over the holidays to visit the in-laws, who are all early risers, of which, I am not. Please, dear Diver, some coping mechanisms?
– Crack o' Nooner
Dearest Nooner,
You could pull a Wildcat and simply drink espresso all day and night. Seems to work for him, as I never see him asleep, just hunched over a sketchbook or grooming his beard kittens. Or – and this would be my sincerest recommendation – just harden the #@%& up and get out of bed at a normal hour like the rest of us. Your in-laws will probably think better of you.
– Good luck with that, the Diver
Interesting facts: The pros' bikes don't make them faster. Training does – and for a few, drugs. The rest is just marketing ... so go ride!
Dear Diver,
I notice a lot of guys wearing Dickies or similar workwear while mountain biking. I like the look but when I tried it, I chafed like you read about. In fact, several weeks later, I am still experiencing tenderness in my "nether regions." What's the secret to looking cool and being comfortable while riding (the tight skin suit is not an option, I like to keep it modest.)
–Softside Steve
Dear Softy,
As someone who never wears the stretchy pants, I'll let you in on a little secret – most guys riding in canvas shorts have the padded kind underneath. Turns out most fellows aren't keen on highlighting certain parts of their anatomy, so they'll wear a "function layer" topped by a "fashion layer," which quite reminds me of women from Ye Olden Tymes wearing girdles topped by fancy dresses. Of course you can always take my route and just toughen the hell up, Stevie – after more than two decades of only riding in Dickies and such, my "nether regions" have broken in like a good Brooks saddle, and I've saved a lot of cash, too. It may be painful at first, but just remember: canvas shorts, $20; chamois shorts, $200; not having to wear a diaper to ride: priceless.
-Good things take time, Diver
Dear Diver,
Why does wearing Lycra almost always immediately turn someone into an asshole? And I am not just saying this because I am bitter, I even notice a change in my own 'tude when I trade in the cotton for synthetic. Is it because by being cooler, you actually think you are cooler?
– Joe Cool
Dear Dr. Jekyll & Mr. A-hole,
That's a great question. To find an answer, I donned my old National Team duds for this edition's photo, and as you can see, I immediately got angry. From what I can tell, anyone sausaged into Lycra for more than 30 seconds has good reason to be a jerk. After all, if you're riding on the road in America, you may as well have a target on your back. When you add skintight neon clothing that gives 90 percent of riders a beer gut and multiple muffin tops, you're looking at the perfect persecution complex storm. The only mystery is why riders continue to subject themselves to this misery. At least most mountain bikers seem to have figured this out – maybe roadies should add a "fashion layer."
– Stay cool-headed, the Diver
Dear Diver,
I usually tend toward the liberal end of the spectrum but am a little conflicted about this upcoming presidential election. After all, I am a biker and wear special undergarments, and so does Mitt Romney. Does that mean I should vote for him?
– S"mitt"en
Dear Now I Know Why Intelligent Debate No Longer Exists,
Lots of people wear special undergarments. Medieval knights, astronauts and strippers come to mind. That doesn't mean you'd vote for King Arthur to be president, does it? (Come to think of it, if the stories can be trusted, he might do a better job than the last several presidents.) Your question does, however, solve a nagging question of mine: why is Mitt Romney such an A-hole? In the last question's answer, we conclusively proved that special undergarments can turn man into monster. Those damned underwear. At least the presidential incumbent seems like a nice guy ... or is that just his "fashion layer?"
– Keep Your Mitts Off My Country, The Diver
Interesting Facts: When he's not listening to metal, Joey listens to anything from the Glenn Miller Orchestra to Pinback to Over The Rhine. If it's good, it's all good!
Dear Diver,
With summer here and the drought and everything, I have decided to take fewer showers to help conserve water. Plus, I tube most every day, so am able to rinse off that way. only problem is, my friends and coworkers have started to complain (I don't use deodorant because I don't believe in it.) Don't they get that I am doing this for them and the rest of the world?
– B.O.b
Dear Big Ol' Badness,
Oh boy. You're one of those guys. I'm all for saving the environment and everything, but you really ought not forget your immediate environment – which you're pungently polluting every step of the way. You know, every time you or one of your idealistic compatriots walk in the shop with no shoes, no shirt, no deodorant and no clue, I have to open the front door for at least a half hour so that subsequent customers don't fall to gagging to the floor. And what's pushing that lovely hormonal stew out the door? 100 percent AC-cooled air, baby. How's that for environmentally friendly? So do the environment – and our olfactory glands – a favor, and go get some Tom's of Maine. It uses hops to kill odor, which is also what they use to make IPA. I'm pretty sure that means that you can smell better and get tubing-drunk all at once – and you'll save the cost of beer!
– Diver
Dear Diver,
My dog is obsessed with licking anything metal, from chairs and tables to trucks and fences. Could she be missing a key mineral in her diet? Should I be worried she is going to get gut rot or has a horrible disease?
– Dog Mom
Dear Your Dog's Mother has Four Legs and Eight Nipples and Doesn't Speak English,
I should think this is pretty obvious. Your dog is trying to tell you, in doggie sign language, that she's really sick of the Grateful Dead and The Infamous Stringdusters. She's hankering after some METAL. I know, it's hard to do the hippie-loosey-shakey dance to A Life Once Lost or even Russian Circles but for your dog's sake, you're going to have to start a daily dose of music that is, shall we say, a little more kick-ass. So crank up the Between the Buried and Me, give your pup a black handkerchief to wear, and begin learning how to stay up in a mosh pit. Your canine slobber problems will disappear in no time.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
Why is it that Telluride always gets better music than us? All the big names go there and seem to just pass by us like we don't even exist! Don't they know we kick ass over Telluride?
– Rabid Fan
Dear Rabid Fan of Meh,
From what I can tell, most good music skips the entire Western Slope, opting for the Front Range and points east or the West Coast instead. As for the occasional sort-of big name that hits our secluded corner of the state, can you blame them for skipping Durango? Telluride is full of trustafarians and people like Ralph Lauren ... Durango is full of trustafarians and people like me. I ain't got no $50 to see some washed-up has-been jam band. If you do, you can go see Michael Franti at Three Springs in August. Have fun doing the hippie-loosey-shakey dance!
– Diver
Interesting facts: Some day Joey will hotwire a giant bro-dozer pickup and send it plummeting off the Bridge to Nowhere, Hayduke style. Not soon ... but some day.
Dear Diver,
I'm your typical spoiled, stupid bonehead, and I love to get wasted and act out because I can't hold my liquor. Late at night when I'm hammered, I love to be loud as I am coming home from the bars, waking up people who have to work for a living. Sometimes, I'll smash car windows for no reason or rip plants out of gardens or steal bikes off porches or, on occasion, I'll go totally Hulk and stand in the street yelling like a wild berserker warrior baby who puts the rent on Daddy's Visa. So my question is … why am I so awesome?
– Berserker
Dear Berserker,
It's not your fault. You're just a product of your parents' wrongheaded approach, making you feel "special" while never letting you know that you were "special-ed." In this era of gold stars for everyone, you never realized you were just another American kid doing 4th-grade math in high school. Fort Leisure hasn't helped you much, because you have no idea how you stack up to college students at other stateside learning institutions, much less all those Chinese and Indian PhD's on the other side of the globe, clamoring for your future job. You'll graduate on the six-, maybe seven-year plan, hang out in Durango for one last summer, and then your Dad will finally shut down your credit, figuring at 25, you are old enough to "take care of yourself." Unable to find work because you don't really care to, you'll come stumbling belligerently home in a sorry state of mind and wake me up, along with all my neighbors. The truth is, you're only awesome in your own mind. So I'm sorry. You can't help it. But the lead from my BB gun is going to hurt all the same.
– Sympathetic Sharpshooter
Dear Diver,
I just moved to Durango and I've noticed everyone seems to have a bike. Do I have to get one too? If so, any tips on bike choice and/or how to avoid the dreaded helmet hair would be appreciated.
– No-wheeled Wonder
Dear No-wheeled,
Having no bike in Durango can throw you into a weird social under-class, kind of like not having a Subaru, or not liking dogs or beer, or not having an MMJ card because you're 25 and you have "chronic back pain" (and for the record, I have neither a card, nor faux back pain, nor the desire for an altered state of consciousness, so I guess I'm in that under-class). It pretty much sucks to have no bike in such a bikeable town ... how else can you ride 17-abreast on CR250? I'd recommend getting yourself saddled up on the lightest, twitchiest, plastic/carbon bicycle you can buy (you may need a huge credit line). Be sure to pick up some neon lycra that only a skinny European road racer should feel comfortable in; if you have multiple muffin tops sticking out of every possible hem, you know you're looking good! Stick with the Euro style for headwear – hair gel should alleviate the dreaded helmet hair, although it may rack up big medical bills at some point (in the meantime, you'll look awesome). Look up photos of Mario Cipollini, because this is what you're striving for. He embodies perfection, which you can aspire to while riding to Bread via the River Trail, weaving in and out of walkers, tucked on your aero bars at 8mph. One final tip – don't wave at ANYONE, no matter how friendly. On the other hand, you can get a basic bike, wear jeans and have fun. You'll miss the hair gel though.
To summarize: Yes, you have to get a bike. Your only decision is where to get it ... lucky for you, I happen to know a guy.
– See you soon, The Guy
Dear Diver,
It is only May and I am already sick of watering/mowing my grass. Does the Diver have any interesting, low-maintenance, easy, do-it-yourself landscape ideas? And please, no lava rock.
– Lawn Boy
Dear Lawn Gnome,
You need to follow this three-step process: 1. Do a rain dance and make the monsoons start early, just like everything else has this year. 2. Once the rains begin, let your lawn go – completely. Let that Kentucky Bluegrass reach for the sky. You'll know it's time for the third step when you let pets or small children out and lose them. Bonus points if you can't find your spouse. 3. The coup de grace is to get a herd of goats, preferably French Alpine, but Nubians will do. Let them loose and you'll have a whole group of automatic mowing/ fertilizing machines, leaving you time to beat the undergrowth for your pets and family. If you prefer they stay lost for a bit, go for a bike ride with (soon-to-be) Two-Wheeled – the goats will eventually free your loved ones from their leafy chains.
– Have a tall fence, The Diver
Interesting facts: Joey's nickname was "Durango" for years before he moved, or had even been, to Durango. Coincidence or fate? You decide.
Dear Diver,
I recently heard that the word "nazi" is no longer acceptable in everyday vernacular, as in "parking nazi," "soup nazi," etc. Is this true? Please advise, as I would like to stay on the right side of the politically correct word police.
– "Naz"osure
Dear Naz,
Who'd you hear this from, the lady next door who insists on referring to herself as her dog's "mommy?" We humans have a long history of taking our most reviled/revered individuals'/groups' names and integrating them into our languages for use in certain situations. For example: "My son hit a homer!" Don't know who Homer is? I'm pretty sure he's some old Greek poet. Baseball's older than I thought. Or, "He's being such a Herman Cain." Don't know who Cain is? Tell me what rock you're hiding under, because I want to join you.
In any case, as far as Nazis go, the trick is to not apply the term to any specific individual, because not many individuals can really live up to the hype. Even most (most) politicians, whom I despise in general, can't live up to that moniker. However, when used in a non-specific, hyperbolic sense, I call no foul. As for your PC advisor, tell her to quit being a PC Nazi.
– Signed, Tactless
Dear diver,
A friend of mine claims she got herpes from playing beer pong, something about dirty balls and drinking beer. At first I was a little skeptical, but I am pretty sure she's legit. Could this be true and if so, what can we do to protect ourselves, short of beer pong abstinence?
– King Pong
Dear Pong,
There are really only two answers here. 1) Only play with people who have been tested for all communicable diseases and are willing to carry around current proof of harmlessness. 2) Play whiskey pong instead. Although admittedly this game won't last very long, one taste of good ol' Maker's Mark and the herpes virus will drop dead. I think. Don't quote me on this one.
Wait, is this public?
– Signed, Not a Medical Professional
Dear Diver,
What is up with the "Outlaw Snowdown?" I know it's in Pagosa, but do they not know there's a long-running event over here of the same name? Or are they just trying to steal our thunder? Are they insinuating that ours is the "In-law Snowdown?" What does it all mean?
– Snowed Over
Dear Snowed,
What? You think Durango has a registered trademark on drunken, costumed stupidity? What about that place that had the giant ridiculous brouhaha on Main Street at Halloween? Oh, that was here? Hmmm. Maybe I'll call the trademark office.
In any case, it would appear that Pagosa just figures we're too busy drinking/costume making to notice our name has been pilfered. As for the Outlaw part, I don't think they're insinuating anything about us ... I think they're trying to get Burt Reynolds and Frog to show up. After all, who doesn't like a '78 Trans Am?
– Signed, The Snowman


text: Every week or so a "mystery reader" visits our classroom. This week the reader was Brooke Dyer, a Birches mother who has illustrated eight children's books, sometimes in collaboration with her mother Jane Dyer. Brooke read several books, including her latest Santa Claus and the Three Bears. After reading the books, Brooke answered questions. We learned that it takes her about a year to finish illustrating a book, from the first conversations with authors to sending and amending sketches, to painting the final pictures. She is beginning a new project this winter and we are looking forward to hearing how she is progressing. How lucky we are to share a little in Brooke's creative process!


text:
Welcome to Caterpillar Diaries!
Welcome to Caterpillar Diaries, a website all about Monarch caterpillars and butterflies, designed especially for kids of all ages. I hope adults will enjoy it too!
People sometimes call me the Crazy Butterfly Woman. I love to learn about Monarchs and watch them go through all their life cycle stages in my garden. It amazes me how beautiful they are at every stage, and the changes they go through are so fascinating!
I especially love to photograph them up close (using a macro lens). Sometimes, I learn something new about Monarchs by looking at the photos much larger than real life on my computer screen – and hopefully you will too. I especially hope that teachers, and other people with an interest in butterflies, or the life cycle of insects in general, will find Caterpillar Diaries a resource they can use again and again.
Along with Stripy, my friendly cartoon caterpillar, we will take you on a journey of discovery, through photographs, detailed life-cycle information – including a caterpillar diary, "fun facts", and updates on my butterfly garden.
Click below to see and learn about the monarch life cycle.


text:
Can we catch a herpes with a lipstick?
The customer of a Sephora store in the United States lodged a complaint against the brand, which claims to have contracted the herpes virus on a tester.
According to World Health Organization ( WHO ) 3.7 billion people under the age of 50, or 67 per cent, worldwide are infected with the oral herpes virus. This virus is transmitted by contact with the oral mucosa and causes the famous " cold sore" on the lips. Despite the fact that the majority of people carry the virus, an American woman has decided to attack the chain of Sephora cosmetics stores in court, considering having contracted herpes using a lipstick tester.
The facts date back to October 2015, reports the NBC, and the infection has been confirmed by medical professionals. The complainant claims that she had never suffered from herpes before visiting Sephora, and she asks to be reimbursed for her "emotional distress". It also believes that the brand should warn its customers of the risks involved when trying the beauty products available to them.
Shared hygiene
Many health professionals have testified that, yes, it is possible to transmit the herpes virus via a lipstick, but under certain conditions. The infected person must have tested the lipstick for a few seconds before the complainant uses it, explains the website Live Science. But most remember that it is very likely that the disease was already present before this event, without manifesting itself.
The cosmetics chain has not commented on these claims for the moment.
"Sephora should perhaps remind customers of the importance of good hygiene when using testers and samples, but we are not supposed to need them,"says Popular Science. Many people have the habit of spreading the lipstick on the hand, or to put the tip on a handkerchief.
"If you test these products directly from the container shared by all customers of the store, herpes is the last of your problems!"