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How to Be Happy
Explore this Article Developing a Happy Outlook Living Happily Interacting with Others Article Summary Questions & Answers Related Articles References
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Happiness is not a simple goal, but is about making progress, when it's as elusive as ever. Being happy often means continually finding satisfaction, contentment, a feeling of joy, and a sense that your life is meaningful during all kinds of problems — that does not depend upon finding ease or comfort.[1] Nobody is jolly or elated all the time, but some individuals are definitely more fulfilled/fortunate than others. Some studies reveal that happiness has little to do with comfort or possessions — so what is it about? A sense of well being/happiness is good for your health, so what can we do to have that?[2] Read on to learn how to be happier.
Part 1
Developing a Happy Outlook
1Change your thoughts. People have a natural tendency to remember negative experiences but forget positive ones; however, thanks to adaptability (neuroplasticity), you can actually change the way your brain functions. You can train yourself to be happier by seeking self-actualizing work and your kind of fun.[3]
- Practice mindfulness. Occupy your mind with positive thoughts, actively striving, seeking, working on goals and humming a tune, for happy effects on the mind and body. Focusing on your experiences in the present moment without judging them or yourself can help you become more compassionate to yourself and to others.[4][5]
- Meditate. Activities that promote meditation, including an extended peaceful prayer, yoga, Tai Chi, or spiritual reflection, actually change an area of your brain called the insula, which is involved in your experience of empathy/understanding others. Developing your empathy muscles (helping others) will help you lead a happier life.[6]
- Make small events into appreciated "experiences." Focus on and preserve the great little moment in a photo, write a journal or Facebook entry or make a short video. Make awareness of a gorgeous sunny day; accept a compliment from a friend. Why — this will train your brain to be happier by actively acknowledging the beauty of small moments and turning them into memorable "experiences."
- Smile a little, hop, skip and sing in those moments, and they will not slip so quietly through the cracks of memory. Say, "Thank you, so much!"; perhaps, write thank you notes on Facebook, use text, email or snail mail, appreciating people in a big way.
2Look for the positive in all your experiences. The old saying that you find what you look for is true. Start. Because of this, make it a habit to actively seek out the positive in any experience. It's not only good for your overall happiness, it's good for your physical health, and boosts your immune system.[7][8]
- Accept harsh experiences and problems as learning opportunities. It can be tempting to let challenges or roadblocks keep us from feeling happy. Sometimes, it looks like there's nothing good about a particular situation or experience. However, it's important to think about even the greatest setbacks as experiences we can learn from for great results in the future/tomorrow.
- Don't give up on your ideas. "Try, fail often, get over it quickly," says Myshkin Ingawale, in a 2012 TED talk. He discussed his inventing small, inexpensive blood-oxygen and hemoglobin diagnostic technology that now help save women's lives in rural India. Many ideas were not successful at first. But instead of allowing himself to give up or see these challenges as failures, he used them as learning experiences for his next attempt. Now, his handheld invention for blood analysis has helped reduce maternal deaths from anemia and complications in rural India by 50%.[9]
- Refocusing on the positive can help you heal from traumas.[10]
3Cultivate optimism. Why does winning the lottery not make people happy? In the 1970s, researchers followed people who'd won the lottery and found that a year afterward, they were no happier than people who hadn't. This is called hedonic adaptation,[11] which suggests that we each have a "baseline" of happiness to which we return. No matter what events occur, good or bad, the effect on our happiness is temporary, and happiness tends to quickly revert to the baseline level. Some people have a higher baseline happiness level than others, and that is due in part to genetics, but it's also largely influenced by how you think.
- There is power in intentions, having a purpose: Positive thinking is an important component of self-esteem and overall life satisfaction.[12] Optimism also tends to make your personal and work relationships better.[13]
- Optimism is more than just positive expectations. It's a way of interpreting everything that happens to you.[14] Pessimism tends to explain the world in global, unchangeable, internal terms: "Everything sucks," "I can't do anything to change this," "It's all my fault." Developing an optimistic outlook means thinking about yourself and your world in limited, flexible terms.[15]
- For example, a pessimistic outlook might say, "I'm terrible at math. I'm going to fail that test tomorrow. I might as well just watch TV." This statement suggests that your math skills are inherent and unchangeable, rather than a skill you can develop with work. Such an outlook could lead you to study less because you feel like there's no point to it — you're just an inherently bad mathematics student. This isn't helpful.
- An optimistic outlook would say something like "I'm concerned about doing well on that test tomorrow, but I'm going to study as well as I can and do my best." Optimism doesn't deny the reality of challenges, but it interprets how you approach them differently.
- "Blind optimism" isn't any healthier than pessimism. To go skydiving on your own without any preparation or training because you're optimistic about your abilities is obviously a bad idea that could lead you to injury. True optimism acknowledges the reality of situations and equips you to face them.[16]
4Practice active gratitude. A multitude of research confirms that gratitude is good for you. It reduces anxiety and depression, helps you become more positive, strengthens your relationships with others, and encourages compassion.[17][18][19][20] It also has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness.[21]
- Some people are naturally higher in "trait gratitude," or the natural likelihood of feeling thankful. However, you can train yourself to develop an "attitude of gratitude" no matter how high or low your level of trait gratitude is.[22]
- Try to avoid approaching situations or people as if you "deserve" anything from them. This doesn't mean that you have to put up with disrespect or being mistreated, but it does mean that you should try to take people as they are without feeling "entitled" to specific benefits or actions.[23]
- Accumulate all the little joyful things that happen to you during the day. They add up. You could keep a journal, and write them down. For example, if there was not bad traffic on the road, if you had a very scrumptious breakfast if your friend said something uproariously humorous that made you laugh, if you took your dog out for a walk in the park and played with it, add these together. You'll probably find that you have more to be grateful for than you even realized.[24]
- Share your gratitude with others. A word of thanks, even a brief one, can make someone else feel appreciated. Sharing your gratitude with others also helps you remember what you're thankful for.[25]
- Let the good things sink in. It's not enough to just note good things when they happen. Really take the time to think about them and let those experiences sink into your memory. Consciously telling yourself, "This is a wonderful moment and I want to remember how grateful I feel for it" can help you store up these memories for when times get tough.[26]
5Determine your core values. Your core values determine how you think about yourself, your life, and the world around you. These beliefs guide your decision-making. They may be spiritual, or they may not, but they're the things that are fundamental to how you look at life.[27] For example, "commitment to excellence" could be a value, or "dedication to family" or "belief in a higher power." Whatever your values are, research suggests that when you aren't living your life and making choices that are "value-congruent," i.e., in line with your values, you're likely to feel unhappy and dissatisfied.[28]
- Research suggests that when you are consciously aware of your values, you're more likely to act in accordance with them.[29] Take a little time and reflect on what is most important and meaningful in your life. You can think about times when you felt happiest or most satisfied and what the common factors in those situations may be, for example.[30]
- Often, employees' dissatisfaction with their jobs can be traced back to a mismatch in core values. If your company doesn't value the same things you do, you'll feel unhappy even if you like your work.[31]
6Visualize your "best possible self." This is an exercise that has been shown to increase your feelings of happiness and well-being.[32] It involves two basic steps: visualizing how the "future you" looks when you've achieved your goals, and identifying the characteristics you need to use (or learn) to get you to where you want to be.[33]
- Begin by imagining yourself in the future, when you have gotten to where you want to be. Pick a few goals and imagine that you have achieved them. Make sure they're personally meaningful, not external markers of status.
- Visualize what this future-you is like. Imagine all the details of what success looks like. For example, if your dream has always been to be a musician, what does success look like for you? How much do you work? Who do you work with? What do you create? How do you feel about your work?
- Write down all the details of this scenario. Then, imagine what characteristics you will need to use to get you there. For example, becoming a successful musician probably requires things like perseverance, creativity, patience, and energy.
- Consider which of these traits and skills you already have. You may even surprise yourself with what you already know and can do. When you notice traits or skills that need further development, think about ways you can build up those things.
7Show yourself self-compassion. Beating yourself up or giving in to negative thoughts can leave you feeling weak and unhappy. Dwelling on negative thoughts or feelings of guilt doesn't promote improvement; it actually holds you back from growing and learning. Instead, show yourself the same kindness and generosity you should show to a friend.[34]
- Manage stress by prioritizing and doing what's more important promptly. Practice deep breathing, exercising and getting enough rest. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Do more things to protect your health and make goals/choices that lead to success including stronger relationships and better careers. Start your day with positive affirmations, such as "I accept myself today for who I am" or "I am a person worthy of love and respect."[35]
- Take short "self-compassion" breaks throughout the day. For example, if you're really swamped with work you might feel overwhelmed or guilty. Use mindfulness to acknowledge how you're feeling: "I am feeling stressed right now because I have so much to do." Next, acknowledge that everyone experiences these feelings from time to time: "I'm not alone in feeling this. It's a natural feeling." Finally, give yourself a quick compassion boost, such as saying something positive to yourself: "I am capable of getting this done. I can focus and work hard. I am a valuable person on this team."[36]
- Challenge negative thoughts. We're often our own worst critics. It can be easy to lapse into self-criticism. Instead, challenge negative thoughts when they show up. For example, if you're on a diet but had some popcorn at the movies, a self-criticizing thought could be "I ate that popcorn. I'm such a failure on this diet." Challenge this by showing yourself compassion and making a plan for what you'll do differently: "I ate that popcorn and it wasn't part of my healthy eating plan. This isn't a failure, and I am not 'bad' for having had a treat. I will be more mindful of what I eat the rest of the day."[37]
8Heal past traumas. If you find yourself consistently feeling down or upset, you might have some underlying issues from your past holding you back in the present. In the United States a report of child abuse is made about every 10 seconds.[38] This is only accounting for reports of abuse. A lot of abuse and other traumatic childhood experiences go unreported to authorities. Trauma from the past or even just painful circumstances such as the death of a loved one or a bad break-up can cause mild to severe depression. If you have tried everything you can think of to make yourself happier, there is a chance you could be dealing with something along these lines.
- If you have the resources available to you, consider seeking counseling from a licensed professional. The counselor can help you work through the past trauma or painful memories in healthy and safe ways. A counselor can also make referrals for you if you or the counselor feels an anti-depressant medication (for use temporarily or long term depending on your situation) is appropriate for your case. There is nothing wrong with seeking help! If you are feeling really embarrassed or self-conscious about seeing a counselor, you should know they are bound by very strict privacy and confidentiality laws. No one has to know you are receiving therapy except you and your counselor or doctor. Working through past traumas with a counselor may be difficult at the time, but it will greatly increase your quality of life in the long run.
- Many communities and universities offer therapy through low-cost public clinics. Check in your area to see if this is an option.
- Common treatments for trauma include cognitive-behavioral therapy, talk therapy, exposure therapy, and pharmacotherapy.[39] These therapies can help you learn new ways of thinking and responding to situations and process your feelings.
- If you don't have access to professional counseling services, you could try using self-help books at your local library or talking to someone you trust about your feelings. Religious ministers and support groups are often places to go for free support. Often just the act of talking things out with someone you love and trust and who will support is a healing act in itself.
- If you have the resources available to you, consider seeking counseling from a licensed professional. The counselor can help you work through the past trauma or painful memories in healthy and safe ways. A counselor can also make referrals for you if you or the counselor feels an anti-depressant medication (for use temporarily or long term depending on your situation) is appropriate for your case. There is nothing wrong with seeking help! If you are feeling really embarrassed or self-conscious about seeing a counselor, you should know they are bound by very strict privacy and confidentiality laws. No one has to know you are receiving therapy except you and your counselor or doctor. Working through past traumas with a counselor may be difficult at the time, but it will greatly increase your quality of life in the long run.
9Seek professional help or contact a hotline. If things get really bad, there are several free, anonymous hotlines you can turn to. If you are at a low place or just don't know where to turn, these hotlines can help. Often these hotlines will direct you to local mental health resources in your area if you just ask them. If you just need someone to talk to, remember your call is anonymous and free. The person on the other end of the line is there to help if you need it.
- In the U.S. – Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).
- In the UK and Ireland – Call the Samaritans at 116 123
- In Australia – Call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14
Part 2
Living Happily
1Own yourself. This means to accept and embrace your habits, your personality, the way you talk/look, your voice — everything that makes you "you." Remember that you're a unique person who has value and is worthy of love and respect. Learning to be comfortable with yourself will help you project confidence to others and live a happier life.
- Don't apologize for traits that are part of you, like your personality, your voice, or habits. If there are traits you want to change, make sure you're doing it for you and not because you feel like someone else has told you to. Make your decisions based on your values, not what others have declared you "should" do or be.[40]
- Love your body. It's unfortunate that in today's world, both men and women are bombarded with images of how we're "supposed" to look, dress, or behave. These stereotypical "ideals" can cause a lot of harm. (Over 91% of women, for example, feel unhappy with how they look.[41]) Practice finding things to love about your body. Put sticky-notes with affirmations such as "You're beautiful" or "You're awesome" on your mirrors. Embrace that bodies come in an infinite variety, and yours is unique to you.
- Make a list of your strengths. Be honest with yourself. Write down everything that you know or are good at, no matter how "minor" it may seem to you. You can scuba-dive? That's awesome. You can network with others on a team? Sweet! You can make a frozen pizza without burning down the kitchen? You made some good grades. You sing in the bath. That's good too!
- Don't compare yourself negatively with others. Remind yourself of your options by listing and appreciating small, good or great fun moments that occur. Accept simple fun. For example, if you like to play games for a little while on Saturdays, don't let others tell you that you're silly or "too old" for things that bring you fun and relaxation. As long as your activities don't cause you or other people pain or harm, don't feel guilty about doing things you like — no matter what other people suggest.
2Set meaningful goals for yourself. Take a good long look at your life, your values, and the person you want to be. Set goals that are meaningful to you and accord with your core values. Research suggests you're more likely to achieve these goals and feel happier having done so.[42] Ask yourself some big questions, like "How do I want to grow?" or "What impact do I want to have on the world?"[43]
- Be realistic. If you're five feet tall, your chances of stardom as a professional basketball player aren't great. Making realistic goals doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to what you know or can do now, just that you acknowledge your situation and abilities when you're making your plans.[44]
- Keep your goals action-oriented. It's vital that you set goals that you can achieve. Remember that you can't control what anyone else does or thinks, only what you do. Don't set a goal that relies on others' actions for success.[45]
- Frame your goals positively. You're more likely to achieve your goals if they're framed as something you're working toward, not something you're running away from.[46] For example, if you want to exercise more, don't tell yourself to "Stop sitting around so much." This kind of goal statement is negative and will make you feel negative. Instead, choose a positive goal that emphasizes action: "Take a 30-minute walk three times a week."
Adam Dorsay, Psy.D.Licensed Psychologist & TEDx SpeakerAdam Dorsay, Psy.D.
Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker
Identify what you are after in your life; some people call that your life's purpose. Adam Dorsay, a licensed psychologist, says: "The most sustainable form of happiness is creating a meaningful life. Take the time to understand your life's purpose or move toward that if you don't know what it is. Your values and your strengths are a good guide toward figuring out your life's purpose. A free online questionnaire based on the work of University of Pennsylvania's Dr. Martin Seligman and University of Michigan's Dr. Christopher Peterson is a great resource. It can be found at the VIA Institute on Character www.viacharacter.org."
3Choose extra activities that make you feel better. When you have time or make time, do your favorite hobby or go outside for a little time to enjoy fresh air. For example, walk your dog or go jogging or play basketball or golf, bowl or swim. The main thing to do is to choose to relax and also to keep yourself functional.
- Scientists have tried for years to develop a formula for happiness, and it turns out that being "chronically happy" (that is, feeling that long-term satisfaction and contentment) does have a formula. Scientists estimate that the perfect formula goes something like this: 50% genetic factors (biology, brain chemistry, etc.), 10% circumstantial factors (income, job, living situation), and 40% intentional activity (what you choose to do and think regularly).[47] Choosing activities and experiences that are personally meaningful will really make a difference in your happiness level.
- The ability to choose is very important for happiness. In one study, participants either chose their own positive activity or had one assigned to them. The participants who chose their own activity and regularly participated in it were happier than participants who weren't allowed to choose their own. If you feel like your life is restricting your choices, try to find ways to incorporate more freedom in your life.[48]
- Studies have shown that feeling "awe," or that feeling of overwhelming positivity when we see a beautiful work of art or visit a natural wonder, promotes happiness and well-being.[49] When you can, indulge in activities that promote that feeling of wonderment and amazement in your own life, such as listening to an incredible piece of music or going on a hike.
4Focus on people and positive relationships, not on things. The path to continuing happiness doesn't lie through an iPhone or a fancy car (like a new toy). In fact, research suggests that people who are focused on material things are often trying to make up for other, unfulfilled needs in their lives.[50] Materialistic people are often less happy with themselves and their lives than people who are less focused on "stuff."[51] It's fine to appreciate what you have, but remember that things won't bring you joy. They may even increase your likelihood of feeling sad or fearful.
- Of course, you need to make enough money to meet basic needs — food, shelter, and clothing. If you're living in poverty, you are far more likely to experience sadness and frustration than people who are economically comfortable, largely because of all the stress you're under.[52] Once you make enough to support basic needs, however, your happiness is not significantly affected by how much money you make, but by your level of optimism.[53]
5Push yourself out of your comfort zone. Studies show that humans can't help but fall victim to the hedonic treadmill. We rapidly adjust to change, even positive changes, and treat whatever's in our lives as the new status quo.[54] That's why it's important to push beyond your comfort zone to fuel personal growth.
- Research has consistently shown that we're more productive when we're just outside our comfort zone.[55] This is called the zone of "optimal anxiety," and it pushes us to take risks and try harder because we're unfamiliar with our situation. However, if you go too far outside your comfort zone too fast, your performance will plummet again. Look for a balance of stability and trying new things.[56]
- Taking risks and stepping outside your comfort zone offers many rewards. One of the most relevant for your happiness is increased resilience, or how you deal with unexpected challenges. By routinely challenging yourself to push past your comfort limits, you develop the adaptability and flexibility to handle change when it arises.[57]
6Smile. Science suggests that when you smile, whether you're happy or not, your mood is elevated. This is especially true if all your facial muscles, including the ones around your eyes, get involved.[58] So smile whenever you can! Smiling is like a feedback loop: smiling reinforces happiness, just as happiness causes smiling. People who smile during painful procedures reported less pain than those who kept their facial features neutral.[58]
- Smiling releases endorphins, which are associated with pain relief, and serotonin, which is associated with happy feelings.
- Remember that different cultures interpret smiling differently. For example, Russian culture views smiling at strangers in the street as suspicious, while Americans will readily smile at almost anyone.[59] Smile at others, but don't get offended if they don't return your gesture — they may just have different traditions than you do.
7Follow your intuition. In one study, two groups of people were asked to pick a poster to take home. One group was asked to analyze their decision, weighing pros and cons, and the other group was told to listen to their gut. Two weeks later, the group that followed their gut was happier with their posters than the group that analyzed their decisions.[60] Granted, some of our decisions are more crucial than picking out posters, but often the options we're agonizing over won't have a huge effect on our long-term happiness. The stress of weighing all the options endlessly can make us unhappy, though.
- Intuition can be honed by experience. For example, experienced nurses are often good at identifying symptoms in an individual and using a combination of their medical knowledge and intuition — built up from past experiences — to make the right decisions for their patients.[61] Obviously, if you're a brand-new nurse, your intuition isn't going to be as good as someone with more experience. However, if you're dealing with something that you're pretty familiar with — or that doesn't have huge consequences — go with your gut. You'll be right more often than not.
- Follow intuition in three domains or areas by using: your experience (heuristics); natural thinking relevantly, and incorporating your feeling, desires and satisfaction into decision-making.[62] "Intuition" includes how your brain automatically stores and processes information relevant to your life and how you handle events.
- Enjoy learning something on your own using your experiences (heuristics) — and draw on those experiences when making a decision.
- If you are trying to buy a new car, you already have a set of assumptions (schemas) you are taking with you into the decision-making process (domain) before you set foot at a dealership.
- You observe others' body language, vocal tone/inflections, moods and emotions (affect) associated with the decision you're attempting, and all contribute to your intuition, making your intuition more reliable than what some skeptics suggest.[63]
- Start with the small decisions first. Start with small decisions and practice following your gut so that you know exactly what following your intuition feels like. The more you practice this, the more in-tune you will be with that gut instinct.
8Treat your body like it deserves to be happy. Your brain isn't the only organ in your body that deserves to be happy. Assure vigorous exercise, a healthy diet, and regular sleep — key factors in growing to be happier and to stay that way. Achieve high levels of life satisfaction, better physical health, for improved longevity.[64]
- People who are physically active have higher incidences of enthusiasm and excitement. Scientists hypothesize that exercise causes the brain to release chemicals called endorphins that elevate our mood.
- Eat right. Eating healthy foods — fruits and vegetables, lean meats and proteins, whole grains, nuts, and seeds — gives your body and brain the energy it needs to be healthy. Research indicates that unhealthy diets, especially those rich in processed carbohydrates, sugars, and industrial vegetable fats, is responsible for some cell death, brain shrinkage and contributes to certain diseases like depression and dementia.[65]
- Get enough restful sleep. Study after study confirms it: the more sleep you get, the happier you tend to be.[66] Getting just a single extra hour of sleep per night makes the average person happier than making $60,000 more in annual income, astoundingly enough.[67] Research has also showed that employees who get enough rest are more productive and successful.[68] So if you're middle-aged, shoot to get at least eight hours of sleep per night; the young and elderly should shoot for 9 to 11 hours of sleep per night.[69]
Part 3
Interacting with Others
1Stay close to friends and family. We live in a mobile society, where people follow jobs around the country and sometimes around the world. We do this because we think salary increases make us happier, but in fact, our relationships with friends and family have a far greater impact on happiness. So next time you think about relocating, consider that you'd need a salary increase of over $100,000 USD to compensate for the loss of happiness you'd have from moving away from friends and family.
- If it isn't possible to move closer to your loved ones, communicate with them regularly. Technology such as cell phones and Skype make it easy to stay in touch with the people you love even when they're on the other side of the world.
2Be compassionate. Compassion is all about doing something kind for someone in need, or someone less privileged than yourself. A brain-imaging study (where scientists peek into people's brains while they act or think) revealed that people gain as much happiness from watching others give to charity as they do receive money themselves! Think of effective ways that you can make your community or the world a better place by being compassionate. Compassion is a key part of sustainable happiness, and it's also really good for your health.[70]
- Tutor, volunteer, or get involved in a church group. Countless children are looking for someone to teach them and act as a role model.
- Make a microloan. A microloan is when you give someone (usually in the developing world) a very small sum of money for an economic project of their own. Many microloans have 95%+ repayment rates.[71]
- Give a person in need food, clothing or shelter, if it would be safe. It's so basic, we often forget to think about it, yet so easy to do.
- Increase the happiness of those around you by giving small gifts. This will increase your happiness as well - in fact, the one giving the gift usually feels a larger pulse of dopamine (the neurotransmitter responsible for feeling happiness) than the person receiving the gift! [72]
- Try loving-kindness meditation. This type of meditation stems from Buddhist traditions that focus on increasing compassion for others.[73] Studies have shown that this type of meditation can reduce feelings of sadness and depression.[74][75]
3Make friends. In a 2010 study published by Harvard researchers in American Sociological Review, people who went to church regularly reported greater life satisfaction than those who didn't. The critical factor was the quality of friendships made in church. Church-goers who lacked close friends there were no happier than people who never went to church. When researchers compared people who had the same number of close friends, those who had close friends from church were more satisfied with their lives. This research shows just how important it is to make friends with similar values and outlooks as you. It doesn't matter what your interests and beliefs are. Finding something you're deeply passionate about and making friends with those who share similar interests will result in the same intimacy.
- Be a peacemaker. If your ideas and understandings would continue dissension in a family squabble, or in your group of friends, or at a meeting of an organization such as on the job in a workplace, or in a church group, do something else. Be agreeable as much as it is up to you, applying yourself where you can be happy without unnecessary argument, anger and discord. Don't insist on getting your way/preferences in a personality conflict, on shades of meaning and adversarial issues at the expense of the order and peace of the group and your own happiness.
- Interact with people who share your interests, and feel happier due to sensations of reward and well-being. This is because during such interactions, serotonin and dopamine — neurotransmitters responsible for feelings of happiness and relaxation — are released into the body. In other words, your body is designed to feel happier when engaged in social interactions.
4Have deep, meaningful conversations. A study by a psychologist at the University of Arizona has shown that spending less time participating in small talk, and more time in deep, meaningful conversations can increase happiness. [76] Meaningful conversations move past the surface level of informative "small talk." These conversations discuss your ideas about love, life, hopes, and dreams.
- Psychologist Arthur Aron has done a lot of work on how to generate meaningful communication between people. His work recently made a splash with the idea of "36 questions to fall in love." While this media representation isn't quite the way the research works, Aron's questions do ask deep, probing things about the other person, which leads to a stronger feeling of intimacy and connection.[77]
- Share your happiness with friends. Studies have shown that people who openly share their positive feelings with others have greater social connection than people who don't share. The next time you experience something wonderful, go start a conversation about it with a friend. It'll bring you closer together and make you both happier.[78]
5Find happiness in the kind of work you do now, even while you are seeking a new career. Many people expect the new job or career to dramatically change their level of happiness. But research makes it clear that your levels of optimism and quality of relationships surpass the satisfaction gained from your job.[79]
- If you have a positive outlook, you will make the best of any job; and if you have good relationships, you won't depend on your job for a sense of meaning. You'll find meaning in interactions with the people you care about. You'll use your job as a crutch instead of relying on it for meaning.
- Find your flow at work. Flow is a state of mind where a person is fully absorbed in what they are doing. They have next to no trouble concentrating on the activity because the activity is challenging enough to hold their attention but not so challenging that it exhausts them. This might not be possible for every activity you do, but find ways to make it happen frequently and try out different strategies to make it work. Some people find their flow by using a timer to keep them focused for a set amount of time and others find their flow by setting up the work environment a certain way. Find what works for you. Studies have shown that employees who can find their flow have greater work satisfaction.[80]
- This is not to say you shouldn't aspire to get a job that will make you happier; many people find that being on the right career path is a key determination in their overall happiness. It just means you should understand that the capacity of your job to make you happy is quite small when compared to your outlook and your relationships.
6Forgive. In a study of college students, an attitude of forgiveness contributed to better cardiovascular health. You could say forgiveness literally heals the heart. While it is unknown how forgiveness directly affects your heart, the study suggests that it may lower the perception of stress.[81] Yet despite its many benefits, it's incredibly hard to do. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to learn forgiveness.[82][83]
- Remember that forgiveness is something you do for you, not for the other person. Holding on to anger and hate can cause you immense hurt. And forgiveness doesn't mean denying that the other person did something wrong. For example, consider Auschwitz survivor Eva Kor, who has publicly forgiven the Nazi guard who kept her and many others imprisoned during the Holocaust. She has said, "I forgave the Nazis not because they deserve it but because I deserve it." She forgave her abusers because she didn't want to carry the burden of anger with her, but they are still wrong for their actions.[84]
- Forgiveness also doesn't mean continuing to put up with mistreatment. You can forgive someone for treating you wrongly and still take steps to make sure they don't do it again.
- Think about what you want to forgive. How does that wrong make you feel? You may wish to write down your thoughts and feelings.
- Reflect on the experience. What could have been done differently? Can you learn from this experience? What would you want from the other person?
- Write a letter to the people you want to forgive. What did they do that hurt you and why are you forgiving them? What do you want for them now? Where do you stand in the relationship? You don't even have to mail these letters if you don't want to; simply writing them can be a way to express your forgiveness to yourself.
- Remember that forgiveness isn't conditional. If you make forgiveness contingent on a particular result or action, you could be waiting forever. It can be hard to forgive others because they may never admit or suffer consequences from their wrongdoing. Value forgiveness as a way to let go of something that can hurt you, not as a way to ensure anything happens to the other person.
- Forgiveness can be a very spiritual experience. Studies show a clear correlation between "state forgiveness" (the act of forgiving something), self-forgiveness, and a sense of sacredness. By practicing forgiveness, you may end up discovering something sacred about yourself or the world around you.[85]
Community Q&A
QuestionHow can I feel happy always?Jessica B. CaseyJessica B. Casey is a National Certified Counselor in Texas. She received her MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Sam Houston State University in 2014.
M.A, Clinical Mental Health CounselingM.A, Clinical Mental Health CounselingExpert AnswerFeeling happy all the time would be wonderful; however, it isn't realistic. Humans have a broad range of emotions for every life occurrence, and although they don't all feel good in the moment, they are important in how we process thoughts and emotions, and how we cope and relate to others. Instead, strive for contentment, commitment, and perseverance
QuestionHow do you learn to love yourself?Community AnswerThink about everything that makes you yourself. The good, the bad, everything. Make a list, write it all down. Every day, look at that list. Read it to yourself in the mirror. Think about yourself without any one of these qualities and see how different you would be. Don't care about what other people think of you. Just wake up every day with a smile and be the best you you can be.
QuestionI have become a very negative person. How can I change this?Community AnswerThink about why you are being negative in the first place. Then, you might see it wasn't for the best reason ever. Also, "just be positive" is not a good way to think of this because you will feel pressured by positivity which will make you even more negative. When you start to think negative thoughts, catch yourself and either stop the thought process or attempt to change it into a more positive outlook.
QuestionHow do you become the person you wish to be?Community AnswerConsider the elements of your personality and talents that you most care about and that make you happy. Work on enhancing those and giving them the best opportunities to shine. Remember that all human beings are a balance though; some of your less desirable traits will surface on occasion but the trick is knowing how to manage them successfully.
QuestionHow do I avoid negative thoughts?Community AnswerPractice repeating a positive thought to yourself every time you think a negative one. This will be tough at first, and it's best done alongside other mood elevation techniques. Try meditation, exercise, or doing something you love.
QuestionI've moved to a new city and I'm lonely. How do I cheer myself up?Community AnswerCalls back home will only take you so far. Sieze opportunities to meet and befriend new people, including finding a group of people who share your hobby, or who will teach you a new one.
QuestionCan I be happy without sex?Community AnswerAbsolutely! Focus on your relationships with others, your hobbies, and the things you're grateful for. Plenty of celibate and asexual people lead happy and fulfilling lives.
QuestionHow can I be happy when my crush is in a relationship and she's the only one I care about?Community AnswerFind more people to care about. Focus on people you already know, and love them. Make new friends, and love them too. Love is not just a feeling: it is an action.
QuestionHow do I find out who I really am?Community AnswerWhat would you do if you had no obstacles and there was no chance of failure? Answer that question and you'll be on your way to figuring out your personal outlook and goals.
QuestionHow do I get over my ex, whom I love the most?Community AnswerTry to communicate with others you love, get a hobby, and try to forgive, because letting go is easier than holding on. Smile as much as possible, even if you're not that happy, and attempt to care about yourself and your health, as well as others.
- Don't replay bad experiences of your life except to understand the events. Think often about the good ones and the new ones; remember every day is a new chance.
- Talk about love, dreams or anything that makes you feel happy.
- Avoid dwelling on negative emotions and practice being positive. If being around someone is making you feel bad, avoid that person if possible.
- Writing in a diary is an excellent method for being happy since you can reflect on your past experiences, good or bad; it is vividly written that you may still enjoy your life. Writing down your problems in life can help you be less stressful.
- Working toward your own personal goals, don't confuse yours goals with ones of parents or friends, but follow your vision. Goals can propel you to move forward instead of procrastinating/wandering. Figure out what will make you feel accomplishment, and make one step at a time to get there.
- You feel the way you think. A simple way to look at this is the following equation:
(activating event) + (beliefs) = (consequence.)
This means an external triggering event alone will only contribute to making you feel sad, anxious, fearful or any other emotion. Your beliefs also contribute along with the triggering event to how you feel. So changing the way you look at things (such as an attitude) will result in a big change in how you feel in response to situations that trigger negative emotions in you. As a rule of thumb, remember that anything that makes you feel bad for longer than than several minutes is self-inflicted. It's your thought process, and not just the actual event that largely makes you feel the way you do (a concept from cognitive behavioral therapy).
- Don't be ashamed; when and if you fall, get back up and dust yourself off and go again... Remember that most of what you're stressing over now will be irrelevant in a year. And when you had a bad day there is always a new chance to make next time or tomorrow better. When you fall, you may get a scratch or a broken bone but it will heal.
- Take deep breaths, and smile, even if there is nothing to smile about. Relaxation and meditation or prayer can be very helpful, if you believe in it. To relax, start by flexing your toes, feet and continue up the leg, and up to each area of your entire body, doing tensing up and then relaxing your neck, jaw/mouth, face and finally wiggling your scalp muscles. Even getting a massage is a way of taking just a bit of time out for yourself, as a way to reward yourself for all that you do.
- Try to love others as you love yourself a little more. Happiness stems from feeling good about the things around you and how they affect you. Look in the mirror, and feel happy that this one who is looking back at you is a survivor.
- Don't let what people do or say to you affect you negatively. If somebody says something to insult you, do not respond back, as they will tend to bother you more. Avoid such people. Happiness is a feeling of love and care. One must be calm and be capable to understand others feeling.
- Don't ever be bored with who you are. Choose to appreciate your opportunity. Boredom is a personal problem. Be proactive. Take action to improve issues. Always look on the bright side. The past is gone and you can't change it. No one can. Be purposely cheerful and talk positively, then people will enjoy being around you, and you can enjoy their appreciation!
- Talk it out with someone that you trust, if you are unhappy, even if you don't know why. The exchange of ideas and feelings is healing and usually provides some level of satisfaction or peace.
- Know your worth. Focus on making the best out of each goal you have. Keep reinventing yourself/never settling back for long, while applying yourself on any goals and opportunities you make.
- Be content with who you are because nobody's 'the perfect one'. Finding time for you is important. Think about how lucky you are, by expressing gratefulness for anything you have.
Happiness/Joy is a choice. It depends on you, whether you would rather sulk in the darkness than appreciate the many little things life has to offer.
- Know the thing which makes you happy whenever you do it. It may be listening music, painting, writing poetry and do it whenever you are depressed. Give your self a hug and appreciate that you got chosen to live and do something great!
- Don't focus too much on life's occasional happy/unhappy moments, but look toward something everlasting.
- Be good to others and you will get the same.
- Avoid the use of illegal drugs. They won't help you in the long term.
- Don't drink alcohol for the sake of being happy. That is something that will not help you in the long term and can in fact lead to various health issues.
- If you are constantly unhappy or depressed, seek professional help.
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/happiness_greatest_hits
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_positive_emotions_good_your_heart
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_neuroscience_of_happiness
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm
- ↑ http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/11/meditations-positive-residual-effects/
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_neuroscience_of_happiness
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_neuroscience_of_happiness
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/happiness_good_health
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/danschawbel/2013/04/21/brene-brown-how-vulnerability-can-make-our-lives-better/
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/can_giving_thanks_help_heal_from_trauma
- ↑ Brickman, P., & Campbell, D.T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M.H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory (pp.287-302. New York: Academic Press
- ↑ Caprara, G.V. & Steca, P. (2005). Affective and social self-regulatory efficacy beliefs as determinants of positive thinking and happiness. European Psychologist, 10(4), pp. 275-286.
- ↑ Diener, E., & Diener, M. (1995). Cross-cultural correlates of life satisfaction and self-esteem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68, pp. 653-663.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201306/how-optimism-can-be-learned
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201306/how-optimism-can-be-learned
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/2Wood-GratitudeWell-BeingReview.pdf
- ↑ http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01273.x/abstract
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/gratitude/definition#why_practice
- ↑ http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/Papers/Gratitude_CDPS_2008.pdf
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/5Watkins-GratitudeHappiness.pdf
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/pdfs/GratitudePDFs/5Watkins-GratitudeHappiness.pdf
- ↑ McCullough, M.E., Kilpatrick, S.D., Emmons, R.A., & Larson, D.B. (2002). Is gratitude a moral affect? Psychological Bulletin, 127, 249-266.
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_keeping_a_gratitude_journal
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/10_steps_to_savoring_the_good_things_in_life
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_practice_radical_gratitude
- ↑ http://www.wire.wisc.edu/yourself/selfreflectknowyourself/Yourpersonalvalues.aspx
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19450005
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11460661_Motivated_Decision-Making_Effects_of_Activation_and_Self-Centrality_of_Values_on_Choices_and_Behavior
- ↑ http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm
- ↑ http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.468.5501&rep=rep1&type=pdf
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/images/application_uploads/sheldon-SustainPositiveEmotion.pdf
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-matters-most/201303/what-is-your-best-possible-self
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_self_compassion_beats_rumination
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sahaj-kohli/a-guide-to-building-emotional-strength_b_5586433.html
- ↑ http://self-compassion.org/exercise-2-self-compassion-break/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201107/how-stop-the-self-criticism-and-feel-better-about-you
- ↑ https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/cwo09_12.pdf#page=15
- ↑ Cahill, S.P., Rothbaum, B.O., Resick, P.A., & Follette, V.M. (2009). Cognitive-behavioral therapy for adults. In Effective Treatments for PTSD: Practice Guidelines from the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. Edna B. Foa, Terence M. Keane, Matthew J. Friedman, & Judith A. Cohen, Eds. (pp. 139-222). New York: The Guilford Press.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201304/stop-shoulding-yourself-death-0
- ↑ https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-body-image
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
- ↑ http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/january/resolutions-succeed-mcgonigal-010615.html
- ↑ http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/january/resolutions-succeed-mcgonigal-010615.html
- ↑ http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/notes-self/201308/how-set-goals
- ↑ Lyubomirsky, S., Schkade, D., & Sheldon, K.M. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, (9)2, pp.111-131.
- ↑ Lyubomirsky, S., Dickerhoof, R., Boehm, J.K., & Sheldon, K.M. (2011). Becoming happier takes both a will and a proper way: An experimental longitudinal intervention to boost well-being. Emotion, 11(2), p. 391-402.
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/awe_boosts_health
- ↑ Reed, R. (2013). A Lacanian Ethics of Non-Personal Responsibility. Pastoral Psychology, 62(4), 515–531.
- ↑ http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1993-16069-001
- ↑ http://www.newrepublic.com/article/120859/money-doesnt-buy-happiness-poverty-increases-sadness-study
- ↑ http://spp.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/01/08/1948550614568161
- ↑ Brickman, P., & Campbell, D.T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M.H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory (pp.287-302. New York: Academic Press
- ↑ http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Yerkes/Law/
- ↑ http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303836404577474451463041994
- ↑ http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/12/your-money/12shortcuts.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
- ↑ 58.058.1http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=smile-it-could-make-you-happier
- ↑ https://www.rpi.edu/dept/advising/american_culture/social_skills/nonverbal_communication/reading_exercise.htm
- ↑ The Social Animal by Elliot Aronson
- ↑ Klein, G.A. (2003). Intuition at work. New York, NH: Currency and Doubleday.
- ↑ Gore, J., & Sadler-Smith, E. (2011). Unpacking intuition: A process and outcome framework. Review of General Psychology, 15(4). pp. 304-316
- ↑ https://www.researchgate.net/publication/15328091_Mood_and_Judgment_The_Affect_Infusion_Model_AIM_Psychological_Bulletin
- ↑ Carver, C.S., & Sheier, M.F. (2002). Optimism. In C.R. Snyder & J.L. Lopez (Eds.). Handbook of positive psychology (pp. 231-243). New York: Oxford UP.
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/basics/healthy-diets/hlv-20049477
- ↑ http://www.sciencemag.org/content/306/5702/1776.abstract
- ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/sleep-challenge-2010-slee_b_436341.html
- ↑ Debus, M.E., Deutsch, W., Sonnentag, S., Nussbeck, F.W. (2014). Making flow happen: The effects of being recovered on work-related flow between and within days. Journal of Applied Psychology, 99(4), pp. 713-722.
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/faq-20057898
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/compassion/definition#why_practice
- ↑ http://www.kiva.org/about/risk
- ↑ http://www.pnas.org/content/103/42/15623.abstract
- ↑ http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/loving-kindness
- ↑ Galante, J., Galante, I., Bekkers, M.J., & Gallacher, J. (2014). Effect of kindness-based meditation on health and well-being: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 82(6), pp. 1101-1114.
- ↑ http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2012/11/meditations-positive-residual-effects/
- ↑ http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/17/talk-deeply-be-happy/#more-25743
- ↑ http://psp.sagepub.com/content/23/4/363.full.pdf+html
- ↑ Mauss, I.B., et. al (2011). Don't hide your happiness! Positive emotion dissociation, social connectedness, and psychological functioning. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(4), pp. 732-748.
- ↑ http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/01/16/the-connection-between-a-good-job-and-happiness-is-overrated/
- ↑ Debus, M.E., Deutsch, W., Sonnentag, S., Nussbeck, F.W. (2014). Making flow happen: The effects of being recovered on work-related flow between and within days. Journal of Applied Psychology, 99(4), pp. 713-722.
- ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14593849 nih.gov, PubMed, "A change of heart: cardiovascular correlates of forgiveness in response to interpersonal conflict." Lawler, K. A., Younger, J. W., Piferi, R. L., Billington, E., Jobe, R., Edmondson, K., Jones, W. H., Journal of Behavioral Medicine 2003 Oct;26(5):373-393.
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/overcome_barriers_forgiveness
- ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/nine_steps_to_forgiveness
- ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/may/01/forgiving-abuse-not-forgetting-auschwitz-eva-kor
- ↑ Davis, D.E., Hook, J.N., Worthington, E.L.., & Hill, P.C. (2013). Research on religion/spirituality and forgiveness: A meta-analytic review. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality, 5(4), pp.233-241.
Article SummaryX
To be happier, smile whenever you can—even if you don't feel like it—to invite people to talk to you and release endorphins that make you feel good. If you ever start to feel negative, take a deep breath, remember that you're strong and smart, and tell yourself that you can do it. Additionally, you can make each day more joyful by taking a moment to appreciate the small things you experience, like seeing a flower in bloom or laughing at a funny video. To be happier in the long term, try setting big goals that push your comfort zone. Read on for tips on making friends and becoming more optimistic!
Article Info
Categories: Featured Articles | Happiness
In other languages:
Italiano: Essere Felici, Español: ser feliz, Deutsch: Glücklich werden, Português: Ser Feliz, Nederlands: Gelukkig worden, Français: être heureux, Русский: быть счастливым, 中文: 变得幸福, Čeština: Jak být šťastný, Bahasa Indonesia: Menjadi Orang yang Bahagia, हिन्दी: खुश रहें, ไทย: มีความสุข, العربية: أن تكون إنسانًا سعيدًا, Tiếng Việt: Sống Hạnh phúc, 한국어: 행복해지는 법, 日本語: 幸せになる, Türkçe: Nasıl Mutlu Olunur


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Case in point: all of our animal sitings in San Francisco parks last week. On Thursday, we saw loads of gophers holes in Sutro Park and could have seen them emerge if we had been patient enough to wait. But we were on a mission to see Sutro Sam, a river otter that lives in the Sutro baths so we kept walking. And just as we walked up... there he was! Lots of other people were gathered watching for him, too- he's a bit of a celebrity in the area.
Another day, we went on an adventure to see the Bison that live in golden Gate Park. Obviously, these are not wild animals, but the kids were excited to see them. Along the way, however, we made some pretty exciting observations.
We saw loads of ducks.
And the most exciting observation.... a nesting Great Horned Owl!
|Can you see her there camouflaged in the middle?
A man nearby also told us he had just seen a coyote along a wooded trail nearby.
All in all, it was a pretty exciting adventure. We were excited and pooped out at the end of our long walk.
So even if you think there aren't many animals in your city, take a closer look. I'd love to know what you find.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Beautiful Vail Mountain wedding
Wedding season is in full swing so blogging is a little few and far between right now. But as the summer rolls on the beautiful photos of my weddings roll in. I'm so excited to feature this Vail Mountain wedding from this last May. Everything about this was a wow factor, absolute beauty!!
The bride wore the most amazing dress and the flowers were as pure and soft as the Colorado mountain atmosphere. The colors were toupe, white, and touches of green accented with gold and silver metallic. The perfect combination for an elegant, classic, Fine Art wedding.
Photos by Fine Arts Photographer Steve Stanton Location Four Seasons Vail
Flowers and design by me...
And they lived happily ever after.... And it was a great party...... :)


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Flights to Adelaide
A city of dignified historic buildings, trendy cafés, green gardens and laid-back locals, Adelaide promises to entice, enlighten and rejuvenate. Make the most of Flight Centre's cheap flights to Adelaide and take a leap into this irresistible destination. Although you're in easy reach of picturesque landscapes all around Adelaide, there's plenty to do in the city itself. The picturesque Port Adelaide offers numerous historic buildings, from old pubs to the National Railway Museum. Pay a visit to the Adelaide Gaol just outside the city centre and discover one of the two oldest buildings in South Australia, not to mention a spooky yet historical journey through one of Adelaide's most popular tourist attractions.
We don't have any products online right now but one of our consultants may be able to help you. Enquire now to get access to great deals all over the world.
Airlines that fly to Adelaide
Adelaide Airport
The airport in Adelaide (ADL) is located 4 miles from the city centre, making transfers fast and simple. A new award-winning terminal opened in 2005 serving both international and domestic flights, and an ambitious plan of improvements continues today.
Useful Information
British passport holders will need a visa in order to enter Australia. There are two kinds available: an eVisitor visa, for which there is no charge, and an Electronic Travel Authority (ETA) from your travel agent or airline, for which there's a service fee of A$20. eVisitor visas are available from the Australian Department of Immigration and Border Protection or from the Australian High Commission in London. For travel on non-British passports or for more information, please ask your consultant.
One thing that stands out when setting foot in Adelaide is the lush greenery that surrounds the central area. The city lives up to its reputation as Australia's garden city thanks to the meticulously manicured parklands that enclose the city centre, consisting of the Botanic Garden of Adelaide, Botanic Park, Rymill Park, Veale Gardens and Edwards Park, just to name a few. There are also several large and very green public squares in the city where city workers escape the hustle and bustle. An afternoon of exploring the many gardens of Adelaide is a must for any nature lover.
Adelaide is Australia's premier destination for wine tourism, with Clare Valley, Barossa Valley and McLaren Vale all within two hours' drive of the city and perfect for a day trip. The South Australian capital is a beach city as well, offering plenty of seaside options including the cool cafes along Glenelg Beach, a few miles to the south of the city centre, as well as a range of water sports.


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- Saul Bass
Whether it's graphic, live-action or a combination of both, I approach each assignment with the same basic question, "what's the message?" There has to be a logical (and hopefully, aesthetic) answer to that question. Otherwise, there is no design. - Bill Aylward
These design examples represent a fraction of my past projects. Much remains on either obsolete storage (Syquests & Xbyte tapes) or worse yet, film! These images are remnants of what is readily available on my local drives. Some were realized, some weren't; I like them all!
FX asked me to pitch some promos for "Sunny". They provided the end-tag and most excellent copy. I lovingly provided the visuals.
- A warm & fuzzy look for a subset of NBC's PSA franchise, "The More You Know".
Court TV asked for rebranding pitches. I threw them a few different ones. I really liked the thought of thumbprints showing up in unusual places.
- Among some new looks for NBC's "Today": relatable morning images framed by the "O". Good mOrning!
- POP Display for Patrick Ewing's "Vent" shoe...It sucked air from the front of the shoe and blew it out the back - making for cool feet on the court.
Why Pittard/Sullivan subcontracted me to design & direct this show open, I'll never know. Part of my duties was to redesign the title. It was nominated for a Daytime Emmy - go figure... At least it made my mom proud :)
- A show about "big boys' toys" (fast cars, jetpacks, etc.). TLC's creative brief: sell it with sex! Babeage and heavy metal... what could go wrong?
I _think_ these were for a Travel Channel show involving Timothy Leary...
Title pitches for a TV show about high-end international homes.
Showtime's soft-porn comedy show featured naked female hosts(!). The inimitable Jim Twohie wrote & produced the VO/Audio. I delivered the visuals..
The best staff job I've ever had was at VideoWorks. They repped me as a Commercial Director while on non-shoot days, I functioned as their Art Director. This was one of several print ads I did for them.
"Beauty Through Technology" was my headline for Gear+Rose Films - a spinoff company from VideoWorks.
My first assignment from NBC Advertising & Promotion: redesign the 'end-stack' graphics for Nightly News.
Some ideas for TLC's BlastMasters - a show about blowing things up...
The show covered three sectors where explosions were used: Movies, Military and Demolition. Why not explode the exploders?
Early in my career I was an Art Director for Image Stream, a boutique production company in Los Angeles. We made slideshows for corporate events. Apple was our biggest client. Having done shows for the Apple II, Lolly and Lisa, we were charged with producing the launch for a new computer called "Macintosh". Who knew?
I was in Cupertino one day with Photographer Tony Korody shooting 'motor-drive' sequences when I met Susan Kare. She designed all the original desktop icons. The initial type branding for the Mac was Times Roman, compressed at 85%. With the logotype on the black & white screen, Susan showed us the Airbrush Tool in MacPaint. With a flick of her mouse she whipped out a 'squiggle' underneath "Macintosh". We were blown away! I asked, "may I have a print of that?" The dot-matrix printer spit out a sheet, I returned to LA, made the type white, the 'squiggle' red, gave it a black background and the show graphic was born!
After the Mac came to market I walked into a computer store and noticed this graphic as a decal on the front door. I guess they liked my work;)
Jack In The Box Annual Sales Meeting. Given a few different headlines, I designed a few different show graphics.
Giving computer chips warmth & humanity...
Get'em while they're young!
Round logo, round radio waves, round picture frames. Round.
Fleetwood Motor Homes. I designed the show logo, show menu and various usage permutations.
Through the 90s, typical video pitches consisted of a brief paragraph written by a director describing their vision - occasionally accompanied by a few tear sheets for visual reference. I was among the first to pitch with Photoshop 'style boards' and written scene descriptions. I'd pull art from promotional materials & fabricate the rest. Who wants to read when they can look at pictures? Plus, the musicians were often too stoned to read anyway.
This was for Pat Metheny's "Longest Summer" on his album, "Secret Stories". I got the gig!
My first music video! Yomo+Maulkie "Mama Don't" - a light little ditty about crack mothers and child abuse. It was real.
As a fan of Shawn Colvin, I reeeally wanted to do this video for her song, "Round of Blues".
Kym Sims' "Too Blind To See It" was a dance tune and my first pitch. It had eye charts and a seeing-eye dog. Vision is underrated.
"You can't fight the armed forces" was one of many impossibilities discussed in Was (Not Was)'s "Shake Your Head" featuring vocals by Ozzy Osbourne & Kim Bassinger - wow.
The Spin Doctors, "Two Princes" - a classic tale of choosing between an artist with heart or businessman with money...
To effectively distill a single thought into an icon or mark is a unique art form. I've done several - some more successfully than others! Below are a couple of recent efforts.
Movium is a premium service startup offering first run movies to home screens.
- An introductory logo animation welcoming visitors to The Drone Insurance Zone website.
When I decided on the name, Fred+Ethel, I could have gone for the obvious, retro-TV angle. Yet, I wanted something a bit edgier. " I wondered, "what if Fred was Ethel (and Ethel was Fred)... A CROSS-DRESSER!" Of course, I could go into a long-winded explanation that this is a visual metaphor for how we, as humans, are in a state of perpetual change... but really, I just thought it would be funny to put this guy in a dress.
This was the 'informative' side of a postcard announcing the launch of Fred+Ethel, my merry band of one. Hey, perception is everything...
December 2001... We were still pretty rattled after the devastation, twenty blocks south in NYC. It was such a sad time, we wanted to bring a bit of levity to the otherwise disheartened holiday offerings. So we actually glued small pieces of red fuzz (as navel lint) to the inside of the cards.
A favorite facebook page, "Roberta Charme and More" featuring black & white high-fashion photos inspired the board below. I'd love to shoot it yet not without a budget. Models, locations, insurance, crew and post costs money! Any takers?
After 9/11, my young family & I moved to Portland, Oregon. Our house had a cool patio with a koi pond and champagne grapes. We needed a table. As a closet furniture designer, I came up with a stainless steel base supporting polished & tinted concrete tiles with imprints from patio leaves and the hands of my one-year-old son. When it was finally finished it weighed in at about 500 lbs. (!!!) - not too practical for moving, It currently resides in Las Vegas.


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I had a dilema recently. I needed to get a digital camera, something to use for arbitrary shots, to use on workshops to illustrate things and something that had video capability so I could make some videos while I was away on photographic trips - like my upcoming trip to Norway soon.
But being the photographer I am, I knew I wouldn't be happy with something that was a compact camera. I didn't like the Canon G9. I also wanted something that was small, light, but had the option of taking different lenses. So last week, spurred on by a friend's emails about the Micro four thirds format, I got myself a Lumix GF1 and I've not been able to stop playing with it.
The thing is like a tiny SLR! It's amazingly beautiful, light and the lenses I've bought so far - the 14-49, 49-200 and 20mm pancake lenses are superb. I don't see much (if any) barrel distortion in them and the image quality is somewhere in between compact and DSLR standards.
I'm pretty taken with the micro four thirds format. Why should cameras be limited to an historic format such 3:2 ratio anyway?
So tonight I was at the pap of Glencoe with a group conducting a workshop and just as we were leaving the location, I made the image above, hand held at the scene. It's just so much fun having a camera like this. I can see myself taking it with me everywhere.


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Last night I watched an interview with him, purportedly his last one, and it reminded me of how well he bestrode two literary fields. While his mainstream novels were critical and commercial successes, every second year he wrote science fiction as Iain M Banks and although those works did not meet the same level of success, they nonetheless were a game changer in their genre and something Banks was hugely passionate about.
|Four drying limited edition prints of '51 Plymouth.
It is a dark and rainy Friday afternoon, at the end of a week that has not been overly troubled by sunshine. Following last weekend's Art Market, this week I made eighteen new linocut prints from three designs, adding to the other new ones I made last week. Planning for the Art Market brought home to me the realisation that my abstract art and my illustration are not necessarily suitable for the same audience.
Like Iain Banks, I have more than one identity as a creator. Unlike Iain Banks I do not yet know how to manage my differing identities. This is something I want to give some thought over the coming weeks. If anyone has any ideas, I'd be very happy to hear them!


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BRAC University MBA Admission Circular 2017
BRAC University MBA Admission Circular 2017. BRAC University EMBA Admission Result 2017. EMBA Class for service holders. Masters of Business Administration (MBA) & EMBA admission application last date 1st November, 2017. MBA Admission test will be held on November 3, 2017. EMBA Class will be start from January 2018. Selected applicant have to meet with management. Brac University EMBA cost depend on course.
Eligibility of MBA & EMBA Course:
1. Bachelor degree with minimum 15 ears education or 14 years education with minimum 8 years corporate experience for MBA.
2. Minimum 15 years schooling and 4 years experience. They have GPA 2.5/2nd Class in each education level.
Special Course EMBA Deign for bellow expertise:
Corporate Executive
Government Officers
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Finally selected applicant will get various facilities. Female students will get Hostel seat. Evening Class, Scholarship available for meritorious students. www.admissions.bracu.ac.bd
BRAC University MBA/EMBA Admission Circular 2017 (update 03/10/2017)
BRAC University MBA/EMBA Admission Notice 2017 (update 02/07/2017)
BRAC University MBA/EMBA Admission Notice 2017 (update 24/2/2017)
Sponsored Links


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Massage Therapist
Louisville CO
765 E South Boulder Rd #100
Louisville, CO
Welcome to the Elements Massage Family!
Our mission statement is simple…"to be the best employer of massage therapists in Colorado."
Want to be part of a great team with professionals who share a similar passion and respect for the art of healing massage dedicated to improving the wellness of their clients and their community? Apply today!
Elements Massage – Louisville is a therapeutic massage studio seeking responsible and enthusiastic Massage Therapists to join our team. Your well-being and growth as a therapist is the cornerstone of our business.
Looking for a peaceful, professional, clean, friendly, respectful, team-oriented and client focused environment? Want to be part of a great team with professionals who share a similar passion and respect for the art of healing massage dedicated to improving the wellness of their clients and their community?
Elements Massage™ was founded by a massage therapist with a deep commitment to delivering the best therapeutic, healing massage experiences. In fact, we developed a unique service path – The Elements Way™ to ensure consistent, superior results for our clients.
Our Wellness Program is month-to-month, no long-term contracts, which means we have to be at our best every day to reaffirm our value to our clients. Clients come back because of the quality of your massage, not because they have a contract. It's about a superb and effective massage. And it's about YOU, the caring and professional therapist.
The Elements Way™ not only delivers the highest client satisfaction in the industry, but also offers powerful benefits for you. Simply put, The Elements Way™ for your career involves:
- A shared belief in the healing power of massage.
- Steady clientele and all the supplies you need.
- Flexible and consistent schedule.
- Rewarding team environment with a singular focus on massage.
- Training and mentoring to help you continue to excel.
- Nurturing environment with time off to rest your body.
- We take care of you, so you can focus on delivering great massage.
We offer competitive pay, monthly bonuses and longevity bonuses. We also play you when your client is a no-show or late cancels their appointments, because we believe in supporting our massage therapists.
- Deep Tissue, Sports, Swedish, MF, Trigger Point skills will be called on regularly; Prenatal and Hot Stone certifications a plus
- Strong communication and evaluation skills to assess client needs, establish treatment plan and deliver professional treatment recommendations
- Valid Colorado License, Professional Liability Insurance
- Valid Driver's License, auto insurance and reliable transportation
- 2-3 Shifts, with at least 1 weekend day required (nights and weekends are our busiest shifts)
- Currently looking to fill Tuesday close and Saturday or Sunday closing shift, along with other busy shifts.
Elements Massage is a smoke free work environment.
We are proud to demonstrate the same level of commitment to our therapists as we have for our clients. Apply today!
If you are out of state seeking employment as a massage therapist in Colorado, please visit colorado.gov at https://www.colorado.gov/pacific/dora/Massage_Therapy for state licensure requirements.


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They always were a strange lot, the Catalans: not content with force-teaching their children a language for which they will have no use in the outside world, they have now compounded their autonomy from the rest of Spain by banning bullfighting.
I know many of you will be clapping and cheering at this news . . . and that is your prerogative. Bullfighting has always been a contentious subject: never the Brits' cup of tea – more like the Spaniards' jug of sangria - BUT it is as much a part of Spain's rich culture as flamenco, sun-drenched beaches, medieval cities and a bottle of full-bodied Rioja drunk in a noisy taberna with a plate of jamon Serrano and some garlic-infused olives.
The ancient art form dates back to prehistoric times when bulls were worshipped and then sacrificed. Later, the Romans staged many human-versus-animal events and religious festivities and royal weddings were celebrated by fights in local plazas, where noblemen would compete on horseback for a royal favour.
The populace enjoyed these displays so much that Spain introduced the practice of fighting on foot around 1726. Bullfighting then spread to Central and South America and in the 19th century to France, where it is now more popular than ever.
But back to Barcelona. Yes, it's a fabulous city with its gaudy Gaudi architecture and unfinished Gothic Cathedral. The streets heave with tourists all the year round. But if the Catalans had their way, they'd cut themselves off completely from the rest of Spain and float the province out to sea – the equivalent of Cornwall disassociating itself entirely from Great Britain and banning cricket in the process.
Many Barcelona-based aficionados are now robbed of their right to watch their fiesta nacional on their own doorstep. They will have to travel far and wide to support their favourite matadors. They're not best pleased about this. The vote only just scraped by in parliament. Fans are distraught that their freedom of choice has been taken away in what many see as a political move. And the Catalans still indulge in the much more barbaric practices of bull baiting, taunting and torturing than the artistry and tradition of la corrida.
Barcelona's 18,000-seat bullring was completely sold out last Sunday. Tickets changed hands at thousand of euros apiece. Those who couldn't get one slept on the streets hoping to pick up a last minute day seat at the gate.
The closure of the city's two bullrings (Las Arenas - The Sands - is now a shopping mall) enrages more Spaniards than it pleases. La Monumental where the final fight took place on Sunday would have Juan Belmonte, the founding father of today's style, spinning in his grave. . .
Sobbing spectators grabbed handfuls of sand as they left the ring to save for posterity. They hope to throw it back in one day if the ban is lifted.
I don't wish to argue the point as to whether bullfighting has a place in modern society or not. The brave and beautiful bullfighters who face death every afternoon have bigger balls in every sense than the higher-earning footballers which whom they compete for the front pages. Their successes and failures are reported on the Arts pages though, not the Sports pages.
I have a vested interest in the subject as my first novel BLOOD ON THE SAND is about to be released on Amazon Kindle.
Based on my experiences in the 1960s as the girlfriend of the world's most famous matador, El Cordobés, it's a visceral love story between an innocent, young English girl and a hot-blooded Gypsy matador set against the backdrop of Andalucía.
I saw my first bullfight at the age of nine. I was immediately captivated by the colour, the pageantry, the music, the drama and the depth of feeling between a heroic man in a satin suit of lights and 600 kilos of raw killing machine.
Spain has soul. Spain has passion. The bullfight has gore and it has glory but those who don't want to watch it don't have to buy a ticket.
Tuesday, 27 September 2011
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Quirky Tether Adds Dishwasher Safe Saying To Wine Glasses/
Who said geeks don't drink wine? Quirky's Tether promises to save your valuable and very delicate wine glasses in your dishwasher. The flexible silicone rod adds a level of stabilization to the wine glass while its inside the washing monster as it goes thru the dishwasher's vigorous cleaning cycles and eliminates the threat of glass-to-glass collision. The Tether can be adjusted to fit all kinds of wine glasses and it comes in a pack of 4 for $12.99. You can pre-order the Quirky Tether right now. No available date has been announced as of yet.


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2017 Land Pride RCR12 60" ROTARY CUTTER ORANGE
Call for Price
2017 Land Pride RCR12 60 ROTARY CUTTER ORANGE
In Stock
DeKane Equipment Corporation
Primary Color
Stock #
Land Pride
Dealer Insights
Category: Rotary Mowers
Serial Number: 1206424
RCR1260 ROTARY CUTTER 12 SERIES - Lam Tire/Wheel & Yoke Assembly - DRVLN Slip Clutch - Cutter Orange * Image of product is a representative image and may not depict the exact product being configured. ** Tractor not included.
Serial Number: 1206424
RCR1260 ROTARY CUTTER 12 SERIES - Lam Tire/Wheel & Yoke Assembly - DRVLN Slip Clutch - Cutter Orange * Image of product is a representative image and may not depict the exact product being configured. ** Tractor not included.
The RCR12 Series is an economically-priced Rotary Cutter, capable of cutting 1" diameter material and is ideal for daily use in small lots and hobby farm grass maintenance. The new 42" is the perfect size for BX & Narrow B Tractors. These cutters offer fast, clean, dependable mowing and have been extensively tested to ensure operating safety. High blade tip speeds assure a clean cut in a variety of field conditions. The standard stump jumper slides over stumps, rocks and debris and safety guards protect you and your property.
- Surpassed rugged industry standards: All Land Pride cutters have been designed and tested and meet rigorous voluntary testing procedures specified by ANSI.
- Tractor HP range: 18 - 60 HP
- 3 Year gearbox warranty: Shows our confidence in the gearbox integrity.
- Cat. 3 driveline with shearbolt: Shear bolt offers maximum driveline protection.
- Cat. 3 driveline with 2-plate slip-clutch: Slip-clutch driveline offers convenience for continual work.
- Floating top link: Provides for easy hook-up. Permits deck to follow the terrain for an even cut. Two hole position to allow greater lift leverage for smaller tractors.
- Round back design: Helps discharge grass better than enclosed or partially enclosed cutters.
- 1 1/4" - 10" Cutting Height: Cutting height for wide range of cutting conditions.
- Skid shoes (Accessory) RCR1260 & RCR1272 only: Provides sidewall reinforcement and helps protect bottom of sidewall.
- 1/2" x 3" Heat-treated free swinging blades: Free swinging protects from obstructions. Heat-treated offers longer life.
- Splined blade bar hub: Allows for tight positive fit of stump jumper and blade bar to gearbox output shaft.
- 10 Gauge stump jumper: Allows cutter to slide over obstructions protecting the gearbox output shaft.
- High blade tip speed: Ensures clean cut.
- Laminated tailwheel: Laminated material is long lasting in rough conditions and can't go flat.
- Heavy-duty spindle on tailwheel: 1 1/4" spindle gives the strength to protect tailwheel assembly.
- Rubber guarding: Protect against flying debris.
- Metal Guarding: Protects against flying debris.
- Model Number: RCR1260
- Weight (With front & rear guard, shear bolt driveline & laminated tire): 478 lbs.
- Hitch: Category I (Quick hitch ready)
- Cutting Width: 60"
- Overall Width: 64 1/4"
- Overall Length (Including Tailwheel): 97 3/4"
- Deck Height: 7 1/4"
- Cutting Height: 1 1/4" - 10"
- Cutting Capacity: Grass, weeds & light brush
- Recommended Tractor HP: 20-60 hp
- PTO Speed: 540 rpm
- Gearbox Rating HP: 60 hp
- Gearbox (Speed up beveled gears): 1:1.93 Speed-up Cast iron housing
- Gearbox Lubrication & Capacity: 1.1 Pint of gear lube 80-90W EP
- Deck Construction: 1 Piece reinforced deck
- Deck Material Thickness: 12 Gauge
- Skids: 1/4" (Welded on deck)
- Skid Shoes: Bolt-on replaceable skid shoes (Sold separately through parts department only)
- Stump Jumper: Round Pan 10 ga x 24"
- Blades (2): 1/2" x 3" Heat treated alloy steel Free-swinging blades
- Blade Bolts: Keyed with harden flat washer and lock nut
- Blade Tip Speed: 16,536 fpm
- Driveline: ASAE Category 3
- Driveline Protection Options: 1/2" Center shear bolt protection or center bolt 2 plate slip clutch
- Tailwheel: 4" x 8" Laminated tire and yoke
- Safety Guards: Rubber (standard front and rear)
- Working Width
- 60 in.
- Width
- 64 1/4 in.
- Length
- 97 3/4 in.
- Weight
- 478 lb.
- Recommended HP
- 20-60 hp


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The Federal EPA, along with many States have adopted, or are in the process of implementing rules requiring operators to conduct periodic functionality testing of their ATG systems. There has been some confusion on what is required, and how a functionality test should be performed.
Operators have made a significant investment in either installing or purchasing a site equipped with a tank gauge system, including sophisticated electronic line leak detectors in many cases. That investment is intended to provide you with important protection against potentially catastrophic environmental problems. An improperly maintained ATG system can fail to alert you to a tank taking on water, or losing product into the ground – both very costly. Are you positive that your system is working properly and providing you the protection you are counting on?
There is a common misconception that pushing the red button and seeing "All Functions Normal" or a similar message is sufficient for a functionality test. This can lead to a false sense of security, as your system may in fact not be working properly.
When choosing a vendor to perform your ATG functionality test or certification, you should make sure that their staff is trained and certified to work on your system, and that they will physically inspect each component, including tank gauge probes, sump and interstitial sensors, and the console itself. Anyone who simply pushes the red button and tells you that everything is OK isn't helping you protect yourself.
An ATG functionality test is an inexpensive way to protect your investment, reduce risks associated with a leak that isn't caught or a costly regulatory violation due to non-compliance. In most cases this test can be performed with little or no interruption to normal fueling activity.


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Indian model and former Femina Miss India 2004 semi-finalist. Completed her B. Com. from Pune University.
In 2002, she was the first Runner Up at the Gladrags Mega Model Contest and winner of the Miss Body Beautiful contest.
Looking hot in rose, Mugdha Godse sure had the photographers going trigger-happy.
Mugdha Godse : Looking hot
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NEWS FLASH: your pie could be cuter. Here's how: make pie pops.
If you have a baked pie (versus one that you fill with a custard or filling that you chill) recipe, you can convert it into adorable pie pops.
I posted a cherry pie recipe on Craftsy.com, but you can use the method with your favorite pie recipe or type!


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Location : San Isidro – Santa Teresa
Price : $ 249,000
Land Size : 7 ha or 17.3 acres
More Info : http://www.tropisphere.com/property/animal-and-horse-farm/
A few minutes drive from the pristine beaches of Santa Teresa and Mal Pais, is this beautiful horse and animal farm of your dreams in Costa Rica.
This 7 ha jungle 'finca' is titled, with a flat topography and a vast amount of land which is fenced all around. It has access to electricity and municipal water and is accessible all year round
There is a round pen – 17 m in diameter – and a riding area for the horses, of 40 x 20 meters, with a drainage system, stables for the horses as well as special pasture land for the horses. Also on the land, is a main house, a caretaker house and a bodega.
This property is ideal for people who are passionate about horses or for those who are interested in operating a horse riding school or to use the land on a professional basis.
At the moment, this place has been rented out to be run as a horse business, but there are no long term obligations with the tenants.
If you aren't interested in horses and want to use the land for other projects, no problem! The farm is legally subdivided into 12 sections of around 5,000 m2 each and can be used for various other projects.


text: There are so many on the web I am confused. What is the best make style?...I need a jesey (in fact 2) should I have one long and one short sleeved? or is there such a thing as a longsleeve that can be unzipped to give a short sleeved? I have no idea. All I know is I need xxxl size and it has to be made of stretchable fabric. Cheap is good, but i dont want crap, so I'll pay for quality if necessary Do you chaps wear base layers and jerseys and then a jacket in the winter? I could get the jersey now for the summer, then add the base layer and jacket in the winter... ...blimey it's all so confusing...I dont even but my own underpants...thank gawd for Mums and the Mrs any suggestion much appreciated. Ta


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I met her at a club but I never heard her name. We sat at one of those tall tables, each of us with a beer, shouting at each other over the rock band on the little stage and never really hearing what the other said but I didn't care. She had hair the same color as a dark beer when you hold it up to the light, and her skin was pale like clean sheets. I think her eyes were green, but in the light I couldn't tell. She said something about her dog in the wind, and I said she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever met. The band said, This could be my mind at play, or something along those lines. She was drinking Miller Lite but I couldn't ridicule her for it, because when she smiled I almost fell out of my chair, so I bought her a beer and I think she said thank you. When she bought me one of mine I wanted to kiss her, but I couldn't think how to do it. The band played song after song, never really a gap between them. I didn't know why I'd gone out that night, or why I'd ducked into this particular dive. But I never wanted to leave it. The band could play forever. About a half-hour in a guy came crashing past and knocked our table, almost spilled her beer, and I wanted to jump up and protect her, shove the guy away, do something rash and romantic, but he was gone already and she never lost her smile. I said that guy was a dick. She said something about her mother's lime. Or maybe it was, Some other time. The band said, Is that what this is all about?
Four beers in I had to piss, and I apologized a half a dozen times and finally ran for the toilet, but when I came back she was still there, and I think that's when I fell in love. The band quit playing and another stepped up to tune their guitars, and through the buzz in my ears and the chatter at the bar I managed to hear her say she was having a good time. I said her collarbone had the most delicate sweep, but I didn't tell her how much I wanted to trace it with my fingers. She cupped her hand over her ear to hear me better but before I could repeat it she nodded like she understood, and she said, Totally, I totally know what you mean. Then the next band erupted into some pounding guitar riff and I just nodded and touched her hand. And she let me touch her hand.
When she left I thought she was going to the toilet herself, but I guess she was headed somewhere else. I might never see her again, but I'll always be looking. It's not a perfect relationship, I know, but you have to begin somewhere.
About the Author: Samuel Snoek-Brown is a writing teacher and a fiction author, and he works as production editor for Jersey Devil Press. He lives with his wife and their two cats in Portland, Oregon; online, he lives at snoekbrown.com. His work has appeared in many magazines online and in print, most recently at Eunoia Review.
Story Song: "Begin Here" by Pinebender