text:
Mr. Garrison: ...I'm Sorry Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Share this[In bed together]
Satan: Is sex the only thing that matters to you?
Saddam Hussein: I love you.
Share thisSatan: How come you always want to make love to me from behind? Is it because you want to pretend I'm somebody else?
Saddam Hussein: Satan, your ass is gigantic and red. Who am I going to pretend you are, Liza Minelli?
Share thisTerrence: You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip!
Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs.
Phillip: Oh yeah!
Share this[Finishing his "Kyle's Mom" song]
Cartman: Kyle's Mom... She's a big, fat, fuckin' BIIIIIIIIITCH! Who's a fuckin' bitch? Kyle's Mooooooooom! Yeah!
[Notices Kyle's mom standing behind him]
Cartman: Oh fuck.
Share this[Kenny has just died in the hospital]
Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars.
Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman.
Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him.
Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was your friend, you fat fuck!
Share thisTerrence: Now, Phillip, did you learn something in all this?
Phillip: I did, Terrence. I learned that you're a boner-biting, dick-fart, fuck-face!
[they laugh]
Share thisTerrence: Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something from this whole experience.
Phillip: I sure have, Terrance. I've learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart, fuck face.
Terrence: [they laugh] Wanna see the northern lights?
[strikes a match, farts, burns up]
Phillip: Ha ha ha. You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. Ha ha ha.
Terrence: I sure did, Philip!
Share thisBrian Dennehy: Did someone say my name?
Stan: Who are you?
Brian Dennehy: I'm Brian Dennehy.
Kyle: What? No, not fuckin' Brian Dennehy!
Stan: Get the fuck out of here!
Brian Dennehy: Oh. Bye.
Share thisBilly Baldwin: [answers the phone] Baldwin residence. No, this is Billy Baldwin. If you want Daniel Baldwin call his extension, stupid!
[hangs up the phone]
Billy Baldwin: Hey Alec, you know what sucks about being a Baldwin?
Alec Baldwin: No, what?
Billy Baldwin: Nothing!
Share this[person speaking German on "cliteris" website]
Kyle: Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!
Stan: Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom?
Cartman: Oh, very funny!
Kyle: Hey! It IS Cartman's mom!
Mrs. Cartman: [man speaking German on computer] All righty then!
Cartman: SON OF A BI...
Cartman: AHHH!
Ike: [bounces in] Ba ba ba ba.
Kyle: Get out of here, Ike. You're too young for this stuff!
Ike: Bullshit.
Stan: What's she doing now?
German: Essen meine scheisse.
Mrs. Cartman: Okey-dokey!
Kyle, Stan, Cartman: [they see something gross] AWWWWWW!
Stan: [pukes] Click it off, dude, click it off!
[Kyle clicks it off]
Stan: Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?
Share this[demonstrating a "V-Chip" planted into Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now, I want you to say "doggy".
Cartman: Doggy.
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Notice, that nothing happens.
[to Cartman]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now, say "Montana".
Cartman: Montana.
Dr. Vosknocker: Good. Now, "pillow".
Cartman: Pillow.
Dr. Vosknocker: All right. Now I want you to say "horse fucker".
Mrs. Cartman: Go on, honey. It's all right.
Cartman: Horse fu...
[gets shocked by the V-chip]
Cartman: That hurts, goddamnit!
[gets shocked again]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now I want you to say "big floppy donkey dick".
Cartman: No!
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
Cartman: This isn't fair, you sons of bi...
[gets shocked repeatedly]
Share thisCartman: Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!
Mr. Garrison: Eric, did you just say the F-word?
Cartman: Jew?
Kyle: No, he's talking about "fuck". You can't say "fuck" in school, you fucking fat ass!
Mr. Garrison: Kyle!
Cartman: Why the fuck not?
Mr. Garrison: Eric!
Stan: Dude, you just said "fuck" again!
Mr. Garrison: Stanley!
Kenny: Fuck!
Mr. Garrison: Kenny!
Cartman: What's the big deal? It doesn't hurt anybody. Fuck-fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck.
Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[picks up a megaphone]
Cartman: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?
Stan: Holy shit, dude.
Share thisCartman: See, it doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckety, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Share thisSheila Broflovski: What the heck is a rimjob?
Mrs. Cartman: Why, that's where you put your legs behind your head and let someone lick your ass.
Share thisCartman: Hey Stan, tell them about the part where Terrence calls Phillip a testicle shitting rectal wart.
Share thisTerrence: [after singing and a few seconds of silence] Suck my balls
Share this[the boys have just watched an edited version of "Asses of Fire" and are leaving the theater with the other kids, past the ticket booth again]
Kyle: Man, this movie gets better every time I see it!
Ticket Taker: Hey!
Cartman: Yeah, but you know what? That whole part about lighting farts is bullshit. You can't do that.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yeah, you can!
Cartman: [stops and turns] No way.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yes you can. You can *too* light a fart on fire.
Cartman: Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you a hundred dollars you can't light a fart on fire.
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Yes you can. Check it out.
[he lights his fart on fire and laughs; his parka suddenly erupts in flames and he screams in horror; the boys are shocked]
Stan: Holy shit, dude!
Cartman: Ah! Oh my God! Hey!
[begins beating Kenny with a stick]
Cartman: Aw, shit! Aw, shit!
Stan: [steps forward and yells] Help! Somebody do something!
[he steps back and the stick lights up]
Cartman: Aahh! This stick is on fire!
[an ambulance rushes up and stops, but a Russell's Salt truck rushes up and bumps it away; the truck bed lifts up at the front end and dumps the salt on Kenny; if the fire was injury, this is insult]
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Ooowww!
[the ambulance siren dies and the salt doesn't move; the boys stare at the truck]
Stan: Oh my God, you killed Kenny!
Kyle: You bastard!
Cartman: Wow, I guess you *can* light a fart on fire, huh?
Share thisMrs. Cartman: [singing "Blame Canada"] And my little boy eric, had my picture on his shelf / And now when he sees me he tells me to go fuck myself!
Share thisThe Mole: You MUST shut of the alarms! I fucking hate guard dogs!
Cartman: Yeah, I heard you the first time you British piece of shit.
[gets shocked by the V-chip]
Cartman: Owww!
Share this[to Phillip]
Terrence: This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your dick in my mouth and took a picture.
Share thisBrooke Shields: I once farted on the set of Blue Lagoon.
Share thisStan: [singing] The sun is shining and the grass is green. / Under the three feet of snow, I mean.
Share thisNewscaster: It's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.
Share thisCartman: That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
Share thisMr. Mackey: I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip.
Cartman: Everybody's fucking seen it.
Mrs. Cartman: Eric!
Cartman: I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
Share thisCartman: It was the Terrence & Phillip movie.
Kyle: Dude!
Cartman: What? Fuck you guys. I wanna get out of here.
Share thisCartman: Mom? If you were in a German "scheisse" video, you... you'd tell me, right?
[short pause]
Mrs. Cartman: Sure, hon.
Share thisCartman: Yes, that's right, I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie. Now who wants to touch me?
Cartman: [yells] I said, who wants to fuckin' touch me?
Share thisChef: Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop.
Share thisGeneral: Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands!
[all the African American members put up their hands including Chef]
General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Operation Human Shield".
Chef: Hey, wait a minute...
General: Now keep in mind, 'Operation Human Shield' will suffer heavy losses. But don't lose your spirit men! Stay until the bitter end. Battalion 14?
[all the White soldiers raise their hands]
General: Right, you are 'Operation Get Behind The Darkies'. You will follow Battalion 5 here and try not to get killed for God's Sake. Are there any questions men?
[Chef raises his hand]
General: Yes Soldier?
Chef: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
General: I don't listen to hip-hop!
Chef: Hey!
Share thisSatan: Saddam, I need to talk to you
Saddam Hussein: Ah, you'd better get packing, bitch, we're running out of time.
Satan: [sighs] sometimes you can love someone very much, but still know they aren't right for you.
Saddam Hussein: What the *fuck* are you talking about?
Satan: You treat me like shit, Saddam! I'm leaving you!
Saddam Hussein: What? No? No! You can't do that! I have to go to Earth!
Satan: You don't even have any respect for me.
Saddam Hussein: Sure I do, guy, please, just hear me out
Share thisKyle: Let me have some candy, Cartman.
Cartman: Let's see, hmm, nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
Kyle: Fine! Like you really need all that chocolate, fat boy!
Share thisDr. Doctor: We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato. You have about three seconds to live.
Share thisStan: But this is going to be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada.
Share thisStan: Wait, before we put a message out, do a search on the word clitoris.
Kyle: Hmm OK Found: 8,000,000 pages found with the word clitoris.
Share this[his last words]
Kenny: Mmf mm mpf mm mommmppf mmf momm mmom mf mff. Mff mffs mmmph mmf, mmph? Mmmpf mpph.
Share this[singing]
Chef: So finally, what a happy end / Americans and Canadians are friends again.
Share thisChef: [singing] Everything worked out what a happy end. Americans and Canadians are friends again. So let's all join hands and knock oppression down.
Cartman, Kyle, Stan: Don't you know our little lives are now complete?
Mrs. Cartman, Sheila Broflovski: 'Cause Terrance and phillip are sweet.
Sheila Broflovski: Super sweet.
everyone: Thank God we live in this quiet, little pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, white trash...
Cartman, Kyle, Stan: Kick-ass!
everyone: Mountain... town!
Share this[singing]
Stan: What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? / He'd make a plan and follow through, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Kyle: When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the Gold, / he did two salchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold!
Cartman: When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears / he used his magical fire breath and saved the maidens fair!
Stan, Kyle: So what would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? / I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Cartman: I want this V-chip out of me. / It has stunted my vocabulary.
Kyle: And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone.
Stan: For Wendy I'll be an activist too, / 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: And what would Brian Boitano do? He'd call all the kids in town / and tell them to unite for truth, that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, / he fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again!
Cartman: And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Khan!
Stan, Kyle, Cartman: 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody! / So let's call all the kids together / and unite to stop our moms. / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / And we'll save Terrance and Philip too, 'cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do! / 'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
Share thisMr. Garrison: I can't wait to take leave so I can get me some fucking poontang.
Share thisNewscaster: This isn't the first bad thing to come out of Canada. Let's not forget Bryan Adams!
Canadian Representative: Yes, well the Canadian government has apologized for him on several occasions!
Share thisMr. Garrison: What is five times two?
[No response from the class]
Mr. Garrison: Now come on children, don't be shy, just give it your best shot.
[Clive raises his hand]
Clive: Twelve.
Mr. Garrison: OK, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.
Share thisStan: Thank you Clitoris!
Share thisCanadian Ambassador: Can I finish? Please, can I finish?
Canadian Ambassador: OK I'm finished.
Share thisSheila Broflovski: Remember what the MPAA says; Horrific, Deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty woids! That's what this war is all about!
Share thisSaddam Hussein: [torturing Kenny] Yeah Yeah, men, this is getting me so hot. Rub my nipples while I torture this little piggy
Share thisKyle: Hey, Mole, be careful.
The Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?
Stan: Man, that kid is fucked up!
Share thisGregory: I must say, I don't believe I belong here with these rogues. I transferred from Yardale where I had a 4.0 grade point average.
Cartman: You're a fucking faggot, dude.
Share thisSatan: [singing] Up there, there is so much room / Where baby's burp and flowers bloom / Everyone dreams I can dream too / Up there / Up where the skies are ocean blue / I could be safe and live without a care / Up there
Share this[Just finished watching Terrence and Phillip's motion picture]
Kyle: Dude, that movie was fucking sweet!
Cartman: You bet your fuckin' ass it was!
Stan: Fuck, dude, I wanna be just like Terrence and Phillip!
Share thisSatan: [singing] What if you remain a sandy little butthole?
Saddam Hussein: [singing] Hey, Satan, don't be such a twit / Mother Teresa won't have shit on me.
Share thisJimbo Kearn: Oh boy, military action, Ned, we're gonna kill us some goddam Australians!
Ned Gerblanski: I think we're fighting Canadians.
Jimbo Kearn: Canadians, Australians, what's the difference?
Share thisStan: Listen Mr. homeless man, if you don't wanna buy us the tickets and not get your ten bucks and not buy yourself a bottle of vodka, then be my guest.
Homeless man: Six tickets please!
Share thisKyle: You are all just a bunch of ass-ramming uncle fuckers!
Share thisTicket Taker: Hey wait a minute, where is your guardian?
Cartman: What?
Ticket Taker: I knew it! You paid a homeless guy to get you in. Didn't you?
Cartman: Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit eater.
Share thisCartman: Hey dudes!
Kyle: What's the matter Cartman?
Cartman: It's this V-Chip, I hate it! I can't say any dirty words
Kyle: Really? So you can't say Fuck?
Cartman: No!
Kyle: And you can't say Shit?
Cartman: No!
Kyle: So you can't say I'm Eric Cartman the Fattest fucking piece of Shit in the world?
Cartman: FUCK YOU!
[gets shocked by the V-chip]
Cartman: AHHH!
Kyle: Ewwww... Sweet!
Share thisSheila Broslofski: Gentlemen, do you have any last words?
Phillip: Last words? How's aboot: "Get me the fuck out of this chair!" How's that for last words?
Share thisChef: [singing] Everything worked out/What a happy end/Canadians and Americans are friends again.
Share thisSatan: The day is mine!
Share thisMr. Mackey: [singing] Step 4, don't say fuck anymore, 'cause fuck is the worst word that you can say.
Children: Fuck is the worst word that you can say. We shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck no!
Share thisGregory: I'm here for "la resistance."
Kyle: What's the password?
Gregory: I don't know.
Kyle: Guess.
Gregory: Uhhh... bacon.
Kyle: ...okay.
Share thisCartman: [singing] Well, Kyle's mom is a big, fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls. / On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch, on Wedensday and Saturday she's a bitch. Then on Sunday, just to be different, she's a super king kamehameha bee-utch. / Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom? She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch and she has stupid hair, she's a big big big big big big bitch. / Bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch. Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's such a stupid bitch./Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this!
[sings in mock foreign languages]
Share thisNewscaster: Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini.
Share thisThe Mole: Now, did you bring the mirror?
Stan: Check!
The Mole: Did you bring the rope?
Stan: Check!
The Mole: Did you bring the buttfor?
Stan: What's a buttfor?
The Mole: For pooping, silly.
Share this[American representative stands up and clears his throat]
American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!
Share thisSaddam Hussein: Let's start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing.
Cartman: Hey, don't call me fat buttfucker!
[rays shoot from malfunctioning V-chip and kill a demon from hell]
Stan: Do it Cartman! Do it!
Cartman: Damn! Shit! Respect my fuckin' authoritayyy!
[shocks Saddam]
Saddam Hussein: You need to watch your mouth, brat.
Cartman: Dog-shit taco!
Saddam Hussein: Quick Satan! Do something!
Cartman: Try this on for size... Blood drenched frozen tampon popsicle!
Saddam Hussein: Hey, buddy! I know I was mean before. But don't worry - I can change!
Cartman: OK... not! Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties, boner, bitch, muff, pussy, cunt, butthole, Barbra Streisand!
Share thisTerrence: Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.
Share thisMr. Mackey: I want to know where you heard all this horrific obscenities, m'kay?
Kyle: Nowhere.
Stan: We heard them from Mr. Garrison a few times before.
Mr. Mackey: Boys, I seriously doubt that Mr Garrison ever said: "Eat penguin shit, you ass spelunker".
Share thisChorus: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker. You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucker.
Terrence: You're an uncle fucker, I must say.
Phillip: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday.
Terrance, Phillip: Uncle Fucker. That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK YOU! UNCLE FUCKAAAAHH...
Phillip: Suck my balls.
Share thisTerrence: You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn/ You just fuck your Uncle all day long!
Share this[Kenny is falling into Hell, where he encounters the damned]
George Burns: Hey, fuckface. Have you seen Gracie?
Share this[all hyped and ready after singing a song]
Stan: Can I have FIVE tickets to Terence Phillip: Asses on Fire, please?
Ticket Taker: No!
Stan: What do you mean no?
Ticket Taker: Terrance and Philip: Asses of Fire has been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America, you have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.
Stan: But why?
Ticket Taker: Because this movie has naughty language! Next please.
Share thisStan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris?
Kyle: The what?
Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
Share thisCartman: Wow, I guess you can light a fart on fire, huh?
Share thisKenny's Mom: Well, fine. You go ahead and miss church and then when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
Kenny: [pauses] Okay!
Share thisKenny: Goodbye, you guys.
Share thisArmy General: [shouting] You told us that windows 98 would be faster, and more efficient with better access to the internet!
Bill Gates: It IS faster! Over five million...
[General shoots Bill Gates and everyone cheers]
Share thisThe Mole: What do you think this is kid? T.V. kiddie hour where we all stand around and lick Barney the dinosaur fucking pussy?
Share this[hearing Terrence and Phillip say "donkey raping shit eater"]
Ike: Dopey pappy sheet eater.
Share this[Shelia Brovlovski is speaking on national television about war against Canada]
Sheila Broflovski: ...if it's war they want, it's war they'll have!
Cartman: This is fucking weak...
Share this[at a spelling bee]
Teacher: The word is "forensics".
Kid: Ah, fuck that. Why should we fucking have to spell forensics?
[cheers from kids in audience]
Kid: S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S. Forensics.
Share this[During the Uncle Fucker song]
Phillip: Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker, you're a boner-biting-bastard, uncle fucker.
Share thisStan: Hey, Mole. You know where the "clitoris" is?
The Mole: Ze what?
Stan: The "clitoris." I have to have to find the clitoris so I can get this Wendy girl to like me again.
[the Mole grasps Stan]
The Mole: Hey, you have to stop thinking with your dick! You have to be on your toes, because I am not going be grounded again. Not for you, not for anybody!
Share thisThe Mole: If anything goes wrong, make a sound like a dying giraffe.
Stan: What's a dying giraffe sound like?
The Mole: WUUUUUaahhh! WUUUaaaaaaahhhhh!
Share thisBig Gay Al: Bombs are flying, people are dying, children are crying, politicians are lying too. Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell, but how are you?
Big Gay Al: I'm super! Thanks for asking!
Share thisKyle: WUUUUaaahh! WUUUaaaaahhhhh!
Soldier: Hey, you hear that? Sounds like a giraffe's dying over there!
Share thisTerrance: Well, Phillip, I hope you've learned something from this whole experience.
Phillip: I sure have, Terrance. I've learned that you are a boner-biting, dick-fart, fuck face.
Terrance: [they laugh] Wanna see the northern lights?
[Strikes a match, farts, burns up]
Phillip: Ha ha ha. You burned yourself to death by lighting your fart. Ha ha ha.
Terrance: I sure did Philip!
Share thisSaddam Hussein: Hey Satan, I got some new luggage for our trip up to Earth. Let's fuck to celebrate.
Share thisStan: We're "La Resistance," we want to save Terrance and Phillip and stop the war and stuff.
The Mole: I can't help you. I'm grounded in my room for the next three days.
Kyle: So are we. Our parents think we're home right now.
Stan: Why are you grounded?
The Mole: Why? Because God hates me, that's why. He has made my life miserable. So I call him a cock-sucking asshole, and I get grounded.
Share thisCartman: [mocking the mole] Shut of ze power Cartman, zis is very important Cartman.
Share thisSatan: You have spilled the blood of the innocent. Now begins two million years of Darkness.
Chef: Oh, good job Mrs. Broslofski. Thanks a lot!
Share thisVoice on Radio: And so, the draft will being tomorrow as more and more troops are needed to invade the Canadian border. The Canadian government pleads for a peaceful resolution, but naturally, we're not listening.
Share thisTerrence: [singing] Looks like we may be out of luck.
Phillip: [singing] Tomorrow night, we're pretty fucked!
Share thisSoldier: [marching by the Broflovskis' house] And I don't know what I've been told / Canadian pussy is mighty cold.
Share thisSheila Broflovski: [singing] When Canada is dead and gone, there'll be no more Celine Dion!
Share this[Kenny has just appeared for the second time]
Cartman: [not cursing to avoid getting shocked by V-chip] Son of a gun! Heck!
Share thisStan: Chef, how do you make a woman like you more than any other guy?
Chef: Oh, that's easy. You just gotta find the clitoris.
Stan: Huh?
Chef: Whoops.
Share thisWoman in Theatre: [Terrence And Phillip are singing "Uncle Fucka", and two movie patrons walk out in the middle of the song] What garbage!
Man in Theatre: Well, what do you expect, they're Canadian!
Share thisStan: [singing] You see homeless people but you just don't care!
Share this[after unsuccessfully trying to save Kenny]
Dr. Doctor: Dammit! It never gets any easier!
[walks away whistling]
Share thisPhillip: This little scrotum sucker deceived us.
Share thisSaddam Hussein: Ya like that, don't ya, bitch?
Share thisCartman: Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?
Mr. Mackey: What?
Cartman: What's the big fucking deal, bitch?
Stan: Yeah!
Share thisPhillip: Cheers, fuck-face.
Share thisSaddam Hussein: [to the military] You're all really fucked now!
Share this[first lines]
Stan: [singing] There's a bunch of birds in the sky. And some deers just went running by.
Share thiseveryone: [singing] Thank God we live in this quiet, little, pissant, redneck, podunk, jerkwater, greenhorn, one-horse, mudhole, peckerwood, right-wing, whistle-stop, hobnail, truck-driving, old-fashioned, hayeseed, inbred, unkempt, out-of-date, white trash, kick-ass! Mountain town!
Stan: [pointing at Kenny in the sky] Look.
Share thisSheila Broslofski: [singing] Blame Canada! Blame Canada! It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along. Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
Man in Chorus: [singing] They're not even a real country anyway.
Share thisKyle: Come on, Ike! Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby.
[runs and kicks Ike through a window]
Share thisMr. Garrison: All the Baldwins are dead!
Share thisThe Mole: [dying] Here I come, God. Here I come, you fucking rat.
Share thisCartman: Hey Stan! Tell them about the part where Terrance called Phillip a "testicle-shitting rectal wart!"
Share thisThe Mole: You realize that by doing this we could be grounded for two, perhaps even three weeks.
Share thisSatan: The time of prophecy is upon us!
Saddam Hussein: I love when you get all biblical, Satan! You know exactly how to turn my crank.
Satan: No, I'm being serious!
Share thisEric Cartman: More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
Kyle: [typing] Punch and pie.
Share thisSatan: You have spilt the blood of the innocence, now begins 2,000,000 years of darkness!
Chef: [sarcastically] Oh, good job, Mrs. Broslofski! Thanks a lot!
Sheila Broslofski: [innocently] I was just trying to make the world a better place for children!
Saddam Hussein: Yeah, and brought enough intolerence in the world to allow my coming. Now everyone bow down to me!
[the Canadians and Americans do so]
Saddam Hussein: [laughs] Yeah!
Share thisMr. Mackey: [over loud speaker] Anyone wearing Terrance and Phillip shirts are to be sent home immediately!
Children: [pause] Hurray!
Share this[the Mole ordered Cartman to disable the army camp alarms, but to his surprise the alarms sound when he tries to rescue Terrance and Phillip and he gets set upon by a pack of wild guard dogs, which he manages to escape from]
The Mole: [Bloody & mortally injured] Ze alarms, they went off?
Cartman: [Casually] Oh that was my bad, sorry.
Share thisThe Mole: Hold me.
The Mole: There is no hope now, you must get out of here.
Kyle: We can't leave without you!
The Mole: It's okay, I'm done for.
Kyle: No! We can't leave without you! We don't know where the hell we are!
The Mole: Were is your God when you need him, huh? Where is your beautiful, merciful faggot now?
The Mole: Here I come, God. Here I come, you fucking rat.
The Mole: [singing] Now the light, she fades... and darkness settles in... but I will find strength...
Kyle: No, Mole, hang on...
The Mole: [singing] I will find pride within...
Kyle: We'll get you home...
The Mole: [singing] Because although I die...
Kyle: I can't face my mother...
The Mole: [singing] Our freedom will be won...
Kyle: Not alone!
The Mole: [singing] Though I die... La Resistance lives... on... BLECHHHHH!
The Mole: [dramatic music starts]
Kyle: [cutting the orchestra off suddenly] SHIT!
Share thisWendy Testeberger: Fuck Gregory. Fuck him right in the ear!
Share thisMr. Garrison: Sorry kids, I just can't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
Share thisSheila Broflovski: [In Chorus with Everyone] We've got to blame Canada, we've got to make a fuss! Before someone thinks of blaming us!
Share thisCartman: [after seeing Kenny's ghost] Mom I saw him, I saw Kenny!
Mrs. Cartman: Oh, you poor dear! You've been through so much.
Cartman: I bet him he couldn't light a fart on fire, and now he's all pissed off
[gets shocked]
Cartman: damn I can't say "pissed off" either!
[gets shocked again]
Share thisCartman: [Realizing he still has Mr. Hat] Why the hell am I still holding this thing for?
[Throws him away]
Mr. Garrison: [From off screen] Mr. Hat, no!
Share thisKyle: You don't think they're really going to kill Terrence and Phillip, do you?
Cartman: Kyle you need to stop being such a chicken shit and stand up to your mother!, you need to smack her in the face and say that's enough of your shit you fucking bitch!
Share thisSheila Broflovski: Kyle you are grounded for two weeks.
Sharon Marsh: You too Stan.
Mrs. Cartman: And you're grounded for three weeks Eric.
Cartman: Hey! Why am I grounded more that's fuckin' bullshit!
Mrs. Cartman: What, what, what? What was that word young man?
Share thisStan: Hey you guys I found the clitoris. I think I can get Wendy to like me again.
Cartman: Yeah I guess all's well that end's well. We can go home now. You dipshit!
Share thisCartman: Aw, screw it. It probably isn't all that good anyway.
Kyle: Cartman! What the hell are you talking about? You LOVE Terrance and Philiip!
Cartman: Yeah, but the animation is all crappy.
Share thisCartman: You should've seen Kyle when his mom showed up. He was scared out of his mind.
Kyle: Shut up, Cartman!
Cartman: No dude, I'd be scared too, your mom is a fucking bitch.
Kyle: Don't call my mom a bitch, you fat fuck!
Cartman: Don't call me fat you buttfucking son of a bitch!
Chef: Whoa, children! Where did you learn to talk like that?
Cartman: It's pretty fucking sweet, huh?
Share thisTerrence: Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch!
Phillip: Oh, you shitfaced cockmaster!
Cartman: Wow! 'Shitfaced cockmaster'.
Share thisVoice on Radio: All Canadian-American citizens are to report to ne of these death camps right away. Did I say death camps? I meant happy camps, where you will eat the finest meals, have access to the fabulous doctors, and be able to exercise regularly.
Share thisTerrence: You're such a pig fucker, Phillipe!
[boys gasp]
Kyle: What did he say?
Phillip: Terrence, why would you call me a pig fucker?
Terrence: Well, let's see. First of all, you fuck pigs!
Phillip: Oh, yeah.
[both laugh]
Terrence: Fuck my ass and call me a bitch!
[both laugh again]
Phillip: Oh, you shit-faced cock master!
[boys say wow]
Eric Cartman: Shit-faced cock master.
Terrence: Listen you donkey rapping shit-eater!
Kyle: Donkey rapping shit eater.
Ike: [baby talk] Donkey rapping shit-eater!
Terrence: You'd fuck your uncle!
Terrence: You'd fuck your uncle!
Terrence: [singing] Shut your funking face Uncle Fucker! Your cock-ass licking Uncle Fucker! You're an uncle fucker, yes it's true nobody fucks uncle quite like you!
Phillip: Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker! You're the one that fucks your uncle, Uncle Fucker! You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, you fuck your uncle all day long.
[both fart rhythmically]
Canadian guard: What's going on here?
everyone: Fuck your uncle, fuck your uncle, fuck your uncle, fuck your uncle, fuck your uncle! Shut your fucking face Uncle Fucker, you're a boner dieing Uncle Fucker!
Terrence: You're an uncle fucker I must say.
Phillip: You'd fucked your uncle yesterday!
everyone: Uncle Fucker that's you, U-N-C-L-E, fuck you! Uncle Fucker!
Share thisSharon Marsh: Well good morning, Stan.
Stan Marsh: Hi mom, can I have eight dollars to see a movie?
Sharon Marsh: A movie? But I thought you were going ice-skating.
Stan Marsh: But this is gonna be the best movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada!
Sharon Marsh: Oh alright, then. But be back for supper!
Stan Marsh: Thanks, mom!
Share thisStan Marsh: Dude, dude, wake up!
[Kenny does so and gets dressed]
Stan Marsh: Kenny, come on!
Kenny McCormick: [muffled] Coming!
Stan Marsh: Kenny! The new Terrance and Phillip movie is out! You wanna come with me?
Kenny McCormick: Yeah, dude! Come on, let's go, quick...
[They walk away... ]
Kenny's Mom: [appears at the door] Where'd you think YOU'RE going?
Kenny McCormick: We're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie.
Kenny's Mom: You can't, you gotta go to church.
Kenny McCormick: But mom, I really wanna see this movie!
Kenny's Mom: Fine. You go ahead and miss church. And then, when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
Kenny McCormick: ...Okay!
Share thisKyle: Ok. Let's try this one more time. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
Ike Broflovski: Don't kick the baby.
Kyle: Kick the baby!
[Kicks Ike through a window, causing it to shatter]
Sheila Broflovski: Ike! You broke ANOTHER window! That's a bad baby! Baaaaaad baby!
Stan Marsh: Kyle, we're going to see the Terrance and Phillip movie!
Kyle: Oh my god, dude!
Sheila Broflovski: Kyle! Where are you going?
Kyle: Uuh, we're going ice-skating.
Sheila Broflovski: Well take your little brother with you.
[Ike bounces up to Kyle]
Kyle: Aww, come on, ma! He's not even my real brother. He's adopted!
Sheila Broflovski: DO AS I SAY, KYLE!
Kyle: Ok, ok, I'm sorry!
Share thisEric Cartman: Mom, there's someone at the door.
[No reply]
Eric Cartman: Mom, I said there's someone at the door!
Mrs. Cartman: Coming, hun.
Eric Cartman: [as Liane walks past] Ay, I can't see the TV!
Mrs. Cartman: Oh, look Eric, It's your little friends!
Ike Broflovski: Fireman!
Eric Cartman: What are you guys doing here?
[Stan holds up the piece of paper with the movie ad on it]
Eric Cartman: Aw, sweet dudes! Yes, YEEES!
Share thisEric Cartman: I had to ride my bike here. My behind is killing me.
Kyle: Your "behind"?
Eric Cartman: I have to say "behind" because I get shocked if I say "ass".
[VChip activates]
Eric Cartman: AGH!
Share thisSaddam Hussein: [singing] Some people say that I'm a bad guy, they may be right, they may be right. But it's not as if I don't try, I just fuck up, try as I might. But I can change, I can change! I can learn to keep my promises I swear it. I'll open up my heart and I will share it. Any minute now I will be born again! Yes, I can change, I can change, I know I've been a dirty little bastard. I like to kill, I like to maim, yes, I'm insane, but it's okay, cause I can change! It's not my fault that I'm so evil. It's society, society. You see my parents were sometimes abusive, and it made a prick of me! But I can change, I can change. I can learn to keep my promises I know it. I'll open up my heart and I will show it, any minute now I will be born again!
Satan: But what if you never change? What if you remain a sandy little butt-hole?
Saddam Hussein: Hey Satan, don't be such a twit. Mother Theresa won't have shit on me!
Share this


text:
snowboarding and ski holidays in top ski resorts
Leaving on
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 Dec 2013 Jan 2014 Feb 2014 Mar 2014 Apr 2014
Flexible (+/-3 days)
Staying for under 7 nights 1 week over 7 nights
Going to
Any Country / Ski Area Any Europe
Any Resort
Choose Board Basis
Full BoardCatered ChaletHalf BoardBed and BreakfastSelf CateringRoom Only
Flying from
Select... London Midlands North West North East Scotland Wales & South West South East Northern Ireland Aberdeen (Dyce) Accommodation only Ashford - Eurostar Belfast (Aldergrove) Belfast City Birmingham Bournemouth Bristol Cardiff Doncaster/Sheffield Dover Ferry(Self drive) Dublin Durham Tees Valley East Midlands Edinburgh Exeter Folkestone Ferry(Self drive) Gatwick Glasgow Guernsey Heathrow Hull Ferry(Self drive) Humberside Inverness Isle of Man (Ronaldsway) Jersey Leeds/bradford Liverpool John Lennon London City Luton Manchester Newcastle Norwich Southampton Southend St Pancras - Eurostar Stansted
Travelling with
ski deals departing Saturday 07 December 2013 - 7 nights Catered Chalet package starting from £494 £464 per person
Sleeps: 8-11 Guests
New for Winter 11/12, this attractive traditional building which has 4 chalets, lies in a quiet off-road location on the Winkelmatten side of the resort. Chalet Alessandra is on the first floor and has a comfortable lounge opening onto a sunny balcony/terrace with fabulous views of the iconic Matterhorn. Access to the skiing could not be easier with the Matterhorn Glacier Paradise gondola only 3 minutes' walk away. The resort centre is an easy picturesque walk along the river (approx 15-20 minutes) or alternatively, take the free 'Elektro-bus' from the Matterhorn Glacier Paradise lift station.
Departs Dover Ferry(Self drive) Folkestone Ferry(Self drive) Gatwick Southampton St Pancras - Eurostar on Saturday 07 Dec 2013 for 7 14 nights
Board Basis is Catered Chalet - Price includes Accommodation, Flights & Transfers
Prices are per person and based on maximum occupancy - call for a personal quote.
different dates & prices on left click for Zermatt ski deals - or search again
Please wait while we're searching your holidays!
Open-plan kitchen/lounge with fireplace, TV/DVD player and balcony. Separate dining room. Shared bath/wc
Room 1 - Twin with shower/wc/balcony (separate entrance besides Alessandra's front door).
Room 2 - Twin.Room 3 (2-3 occ) - Twin with balcony. Extra bed possible for child up to 11yrs incl. and if chalet is booked for exclusive use.
Room 4 - Twin with bath/wc, interconnecting to twin bunk room if required.
†Breakfast hot option, afternoon tea and dinner is 6 days per week, due to Chalet hotel staff's day off.
* required

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Matching 1 Tags
Jesus the Artist
Speaking in parables is indeed similar to an artist's craft. They create impressions, whole new worlds of meaning intended to turn old worlds on their heads.
"Come and See": A Christ-centered Invitation for Science
Classical Christian orthodoxy as expressed in the Creeds begins at the beginning: nature owes its existence to and is sustained by Jesus Christ. One implication is that the best way of finding out about nature is to look at nature.
Series: Scripture and the Authority of God
N.T. Wright explores the context and manner in which Scripture is authoritative. He does so by questioning the meaning of an authoritative book as well as the application of such authority. Wright encourages us to flee from the controlling "list" mentalities that belittle the richness of God's Word, and rather to understand it as a narrative inspired by God and recorded by ancient persons. Ultimately, God "organizes" his people through his Son Jesus and by the Holy Spirit, and not through extracted rules from the Bible.
Series: A Quest for God
In this five part series, two young men, Josh and Aron, engage each other through e-mail letters. Their conversation oscillates between the seemingly suspicious elements of God and the gospel (raised by Josh) as well as responses that offer meaningful insight into these questions (answered by Aron). Ideas such as prayer, judgment, and the concealed nature of God are among the many points in this truth-seeking exchange.
A Lively God
In today's video, Rev. Lincoln Harvey discusses our desire to "domesticate" the liveliness and abundance of God. Harvey notes that the Trinity highlights both the manyness and oneness of God, which can be hard to Christians to fully understand.
Science or sola Scriptura?
So, for Driscoll, the choice is a simple dichotomy: Scripture or science. Scripture is the highest court of authority in all matters, and the role of believing scientists is to affirm Scripture. To fail to do so is to "exchange the truths of Scripture for the truths of science".
Series: The Collapsing Universe in the Bible
This series written by Brian Godawa delves into eschatological passages with "de-creation language." He argues that these passages do not foretell literal geophysical events to come, but, put into the context of the Old Testament thinking, actually describe the dethroning of worldly powers and the establishing of God's kingdom on Earth. This, according to Godawa, happened when Jesus Christ came in the flesh.
The Truthfulness of Scripture: Inerrancy, Part 1
Against the repeated claim that the doctrine of inerrancy arose first with Protestant orthodoxy, we could cite numerous examples from the ancient and medieval church. It was Augustine who first coined the term "inerrant," and Luther and Calvin can speak of Scripture as free from error.
B.B. Warfield, Biblical Inerrancy, and Evolution
During the late 19th century when critical views of Scripture came to prevail in American universities, Warfield was responsible for refurbishing the conviction that the Bible communicates revelation from God entirely without error. Yet while he defended biblical inerrancy, Warfield was also a cautious, discriminating, but entirely candid proponent of the possibility of evolution.
Understanding the Human Dimension of Scripture
Old Princeton and the Dutch Calvinists understood that the human dimension of Scripture—which pervades Scripture thoroughly—is not merely tolerable of a divine book, but a necessary component of what inspiration means.
B. B. Warfield and the "Human Side" of the Bible
With Christ, his humanity is essential to who he is. Likewise, the Bible's "human side" is an essential part of what Scripture is, and recognizing this has practical implications.
An Incarnational Model of Scripture
The Bible is no more a book dropped out of the sky than Jesus is some superman who flew down from heaven. Instead, just as Jesus is "God incarnate," both divine and human, the Bible is a book that speaks God's word and reflects the thoughts, ideas, and worldviews of the human authors.
Reconciliation of a World Gone Wrong
Our estrangement from God began when early humans disobeyed God's will and took a path leading away from God. Genes and culture contribute to a sinful world in which all people are born and nurtured, and our impact on our environment distorts the terrestrial creation.
No Slippery Slopes
In this video Conversation, Joel Hunter addresses the "slippery slope" argument supported by many evangelicals and suggests that not only is this perspective flawed, but it also may prevent believers from appreciating the fullness of God's creation.
Inerrancy vs. Liberalism
In this video Conversation, Hunter explains that a view of scripture as the "inerrant Word of God" means that God is inerrant, not that the person interpreting the Bible is inerrant.
The Creator is the Redeemer
Central to all of this is the resurrection of Jesus. Rising from the dead is the true beginning of this new mode of existence in which believers—right here and now—take part. Believing in Jesus means you are benefiting from Jesus' resurrection already now in the new life you experience by the power of the Spirit.
Motivated Belief: John Polkinghorne on the Resurrection, Part 3
The real problem of belief in miracle is properly a theological issue, not a scientific one, since claims of unique historical occurrences lie outside science's competence to adjudicate. All it can do is reinforce the commonsense recognition that something like a resurrection does not usually happen. The real challenge to belief in miracle lies elsewhere.
Does Resurrection Contradict Science?
So what then does Resurrection mean? For Benedict it represents a new dimension of reality breaking through into human experience. It is not a violation of the old; it is the manifestation of something new.
The Collapsing Universe in the Bible
In this essay, Godawa argues that the decreation language of a collapsing universe with falling stars and signs in the heavens was actually symbolic discourse about world-changing events and powers related to the end of the old covenant and the coming of the new covenant as God's "new world order." In this interpretation, predictions of the collapsing universe were figuratively fulfilled in the historic past of the first century.
You Are the Sun
As a scientist, I find this song particularly compelling because not only is the science on which the song draws completely accurate, but the scientific understanding of the nature of the physical sun and moon is critical to how Groves plays out the metaphor.
Load More


text:
You our customer have every reason to trust the safety of our products.
Click here to view our safety standards.
Click here to view and download our 2013 Catalog.
(Password protected for Retailers Only)
Welcome to The Original Toy Company, where safety of children is of vital importance. At The Original Toy Company we take great care in the selection and development of our products. They have to be safe and durable and of superior quality, workmanship and appropriate to the age group for which they are intended.
Edit Cart
login Not registered? Click here to register.


text:
The Internet should add convenience, not headaches. From step-by-step instructions to helpful tips, we'll help you install your equipment, troubleshoot problems, and get the most out of your online experience – minus the migraine.
Configure CoxSync Application and Advanced Settings
Last Updated: Wed, 04 May 2011 > Related Articles
Learn how to configure CoxSync Application and Advanced settings.
Click the CoxSync desktop icon.
Result: The CoxSync Companion page displays and automatically performs a sync based on the default Sychronization Scheduling settings.
Note: If you did not save your Cox login and Cox password, an Account login page displays. Follow the prompts to enter your Cox login and Cox password.
Select the Settings icon.
Result: The Settings page displays the following tabs:
- Account
- Application
- Connection
- Scheduling
- Conflicts
Result: The Select a program page displays.
From the first drop down, select the applications you wish to synchronize.
Note: The list of applications will depend on the programs on your PC that are compatible with CoxSync.
- From the database drop down(s) select the action to perform:
Note: The databases displayed will depend on the application selected. For example, Outlook Express only has Contacts.- Synchronize
- Refresh Sync
- Slow Export
- Slow Import
- Click the Apply button.
- To configure subfolders within a database (contacts, events and/ or tasks), proceed to Step 7.
All steps complete.
To Configure Advanced Settings:
- From the Applications tab, select the Options button.
Note: The Options button may not be availabe for all applications. - Choose the folder you want to synchronize.
Note: Only one folder can be synchronized for each type of data (contacts, events and /or tasks). - Click Apply.
All steps complete.
Need More Help?
- Technical Support Live Chat
- Send An Email To Cox.com
- Join the Discussion Support Forums
- Find Your Nearest Service Center
- Give Us A Call 24/7 Phone Support
- Additional Contacts Local Information


text:
Veoh Network |
Monthly Uniques | N/A SE | N/A Global |
veoh.com |
Monthly Uniques | 12.3K SE | 3.4M Global |
Veoh includes Veoh.com, one of the most popular video hosting services on the Internet, and VeohTV, a free downloadable application that turns online video into Internet Television. Veoh.com has more than 100,000 content publishers - from CBS, Lions Gate, PBS, National Lampoon, Road and Track and Us Magazine to thousands of independent filmmakers and content producers. VeohTV makes it easy to turn any computer into a digital video recorder that allows viewers to watch and record shows from thousands of Internet video sources.
Related Links
SE Web Demographics (beta)
See More Details Genderindex | ||||
Male |
151 |
Female |
45 | ||
internet average |
index | ||||
internet average |
Audience Also Likes
Affinity | Schools/Universities |
5.5x | Virginia Tech |
4.4x | Berkeley |
3.1x | Purdue |
Affinity | Shopping Engines |
5.1x | PriceGrabber |
4.7x | BizRate |
4.4x | Shopping.com |
1.7x | Nextag |
Affinity | Regional/Local News |
5.1x | San Francisco Chroni... |
4.3x | Washington Post |
4.3x | Los Angeles Times |
4.1x | Wall Street Journal |
Audience Also Likes
This list shows other sites an audience frequents, which can reveal brand preferences and other lifestyle traits. The Audience Also Likes section of a site's profile shows other sites that the audience is likely to visit, and the affinity indicates how much more likely than average. For example, if the profile for wsj.com listed barrons.com with an affinity of 10x, a randomly chosen visitor to wsj.com is ten times likelier to visit barrons.com than the average internet user.
Demographic Index
Index represents how a site's audience compares to the online internet population as a whole. An index of 100 indicates a site's audience is at parity with the total internet population.
The affinity numbers represent how likely a given visitor is to visit one of the listed sites or categories compared to the internet average. For example, an affinity number of 10.2 would say that a user on "X" website is 10.2 times more likely than the average internet visitor to visit the other site or category that is provided.
Directly Measured
This website is Quantified, and the data displayed here is directly measured by Quantcast.
Addicts are the hardcore segment of a site's audience, who have 30 or more visits to that site in a month.
Regulars refers to a segment of a site's audience that frequent a site more than once per month but not as much as addicts who frequent a site 30 or more times per month.
Passers-by have a single visit over the course of a month.
Request Access
Quantified Publishers can hide some or all of their profile data from public view. Clicking this link will send a request to the profile owner to grant you full visibility. If you are granted access you will be notified via email and a home page notification.
Access Pending
You have sent a request to this profile's owner to be able to see all hidden data on this profile. You will be notified via email when access has been granted.


text:
These sculptural collages cut from antique books are the most beautiful thing I have seen in a long time. Its conceptually brilliant and to think about the xacto knife/ scissor control that would be needed for such a task is mind-blowing.
Artist, Alexander Korzer-Robinson finds antique antiquarian books and carefully cuts out everything but the images on each page, leaving the pages in order. The results are these intricate collages. Check out these amazing works of art under the cut!
Which is your favorite?
You can see more of his art on his website!


text:
Last year, I was invited to attend the first annual Bloggers Conference at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA). Quite honestly, I was flattered to have been invited, so I accepted. To say I was naive was an understatement. … Continue reading
May 16, 2013
by Rob Harris, SPHR
0 comments


text:
yes plz
"The Big Ten Scorecard": An Attempt To Grade The Season
So, Now that we're simply awaiting the start of the bowl season to cap off an interesting year in Big Ten, and indeed, college football, I thought I might present to the board for comment something I had been considering doing for a while – "The Big Ten Scorecard".
It's not by any means scientific, and I don't pretend to be an expert at these things, but what I tried to do here is take summary metrics and compare them to what the conference game averages would have been. Including the BTCG, there were 146 games played (allow that two teams played 13 games, of course), so the same size is sufficient, in my view, to present what an average Big Ten game stat line would look like.
Bearing that in mind, there are several tables – passing offense and defense, rushing offense and defense, scoring offense and defense, a summary for offensive and defense metrics and how many were met, and an overall "score" for the team.
Score? Metrics?
Glad you asked. I kept it fairly simple for this first pass at the idea. You will see in the tables many boxes shaded in red with numbers in red as well. I went with the mean for each statistic as the target, so essentially, what we're discussing is the team's performance against the Big Ten mean on 31 measures.
So, for the most part, on offense, if a team was below the mean on a certain measure, the box is shaded because it indicates a performance which was generally subpar compared to the rest of the Big Ten. The sole exception would be interceptions, in which case being below the mean is preferred obviously.
On defense, on the other hand, generally numbers below the mean would be preferred; the sole exception again (for purposes of this experiment) would be interceptions, as more indicates an opportunistic defense.
There are some confounding factors, of course, such as teams facing pass-heavy or run-heavy opponents, but the human performance aspect of football allows teams proficient in stopping such attacks to meet other targets.
In other words, in my totally contrived system, there are 31 possible points, and if you "exceed the target" (perform well against the mean), you get one point for that measure. I have even included handy icons to graphically illustrate which teams are making the grade compared to their conference compatriots, if you will, in the summary tables.
Basically, the final score is the percentage of measures against which you exceeded the conference average. No team obviously scored 100%. Indeed, no one even hit 80%, so there is a bit of a curve involved as well. One other thing that some will undoubtedly notice – sometimes, a team which came in at what appears to be average is still in a shaded box. I rounded the numbers for purposes of simplicity in the tables, but what it means more often than not is that the unrounded figure is still slightly below the actual mean.
TL;DR – Michigan, Nebraska, Ohio State, Penn State and Wisconsin all exceed the Big Ten mean at least most of the time in most areas. Michigan State and Northwestern would be teams that do this only slightly more than half the time. Iowa, Minnesota, Indiana and Purdue struggle, needless to say. Illinois...well, at least this season gets "Firestone Smoldering Rubber Award".
Again, this is my first stab at such a thing, and I welcome comments and suggestions. For as long as I am here, I would like to make it a yearly thing with perhaps even midpoint reports.
THE TABLES (offense first, then defense, in each case):
This is filed under FOOTBALL? This is statistics for stats sake. When you average out stuff... half of it is below average.
The post is great and gorgeous... but I'm not sure I get what this has to do with Football other than using it to show on average that some schools are better than average.
I will always read your stuff... just feedback.
When you average stuff half of it is below average and half of it is above average only happens when the distribution is normal
To use a football example, if you have say Michigan and Ohio excelling in these statistics and much higher than the rest of the teams, their stats might skew the average upward because of how high they are compared to the rest. In this case depending on how much higher the stats for those two schools were compared to the rest of the conference, you could have quite a few schools below than average and only 3 or 4 schools above the average.
If only there was a way to quantify this skew you speak of... if only there was a distribution we could use to measure it.
When you make mean arguments you can't get away from the normal unfortunately.
If each school in the B1G was a data point of just one value, you might be right. However, you would also need the distribution to be normal, as mentioned above. This very likely wouldn't be true because we know that the quality of B1G football teams is not a bell curve, and 12 just isn't a very large sample size.
Now, each school in the B1G is not just one value. There are many numerical values associated with each team, and for each one the distribution will be different. Just look at offensive points per game - 8 teams are above the mean, 4 are below. I'm pretty confident that observation alone should punch a hefty hole in whatever point you were trying to make about the uselessness of these data.
...When you average out stuff... half of it is below average...I'm not sure I get what this has to do with Football other than using it to show on average that some schools are better than average.
I'm good with that.
In the universe of distributions there are infinities of kind. When human minds fathom them they do so... for almost all parts... through the normal distribution. I clipped in the bell curve image on a lark because this analysis and metric is fashioned on the mean (not the distribution around it) of 31 different distributions...which spawned this fun. Stats are fun but not necessarily meaningful.
LSA then takes each school mean for each targeted distribution and does exactly what you say might make my obscure point valid... and reduces it to a single data point for each school.
Here's a picture of that distribution of overall targets attained ...
...wait for it...
...as fitted to a normal distribution...uh...hmm...it's a pretty good fit given we are only looking at 12 datapoints.
Michigan is highlighted...as usual... above the mean...which is what most people here come to hear.
As to my original point... it was simply this - Good Post LSA. Let's focus the metrics to GAF criteria if possible but good post.
GAF - Good At Football
What you're saying is mathematically sound. I do appreciate that you've made an effort to explain yourself. I agree that if you take enough different distributions & smush them together, it's going to look pretty normal. Actually, it doesn't even matter if I agree - that's just reality.
But we do care about the constituent target distributions. We love any aggregate score that shows we're better than average, sure, but it's just not very informative about how or why. You lose the detail when you smash every other category in with it, & if that's what you have to resort to in order to claim that the data aren't interesting ... well, that's just like, your opinion, man.
As for me, I think it's interesting that Michigan is below average in avg. pass attempts & completions, but higher than Nebraska in avg. YPA & avg. YPC. Yeah, I should mention that we're not just comparing against the mean - we get to compare the raw numbers against other teams' raw numbers too.
Anyway, don't worry - I'm not railing against your understanding of stats, you're fine, you're clever. But there's a lot you can take away from The Big Ten Scorecard if you're willing to look at more than the final table.
I guess... but are we looking at garbage time, strength of schedule differences, strength of offenses/defenses, downfield success rates, play success, points per play? There are a ton of stats (most that take real work to bring out) that are meaningful to football. Choosing an aggregate of summary stats IDK about that. If it brings up questions about the constituent distributions then by all means let's go there but always with an eye to what is happening on the field and team.
LSA knocks me out with his production of work here. I'm looking at these tables partly because my daughter won't let me correct her math homework but mostly because I love football and Michigan. I think the targets need revision. Let's look at Success rate to begin with. 1st downs that gain 5 yards or more (.5 of needed yds on non std 1st and >10 yd situations). 2nd downs that gain .7 the needed yardage for first down. 3rd and 4th downs that convert. Football Outsiders has a good rundown of GAF statistics for Offense, Defense and Special Teams. The Hidden Game of Football has good footbally stats. If I had LSA's ability to kick it out... I'd go in this direction because there are few people who do. There is this guy from Maryland who does a pretty interesting take. I'd like to see that done for Michigan related data more often.
You are the one who made the thesis that single data points would create a normal distribution. I just showed it. Truth be told - if you smush different distributions together - I have no idea what they will look like - though I can fit them to a normal distribution - albeit not necessarily well.
I'm looking at this passing thing now for Mich and Nebraska... let me think about that... I think it's due to a lot of this sort of thing...
Let the good times roll.
It's interesting that you mention "The Hidden Game Of Football", as I started reading it again last night to get some ideas for other improvements. Admittedly, with the season being over, I wanted to see what it looked like using more easily available statistics and bounce it off the board more than anything, and as usual, the board has come through with some great discussion and ideas.
Based on what Ron Utah suggested below actually, I've added some stuff on completion percentage and I was thinking 3rd and 4th down conversions might be a good addition to this as well. First downs and first down yardage would be interesting as well and, as you suggest, probably provide even more insight into success on offense.
I've also toyed with the notion of perhaps incorporating median values since individual teams play only 12 games, though this might require collecting individual game data from day one. I may very well to this next season actually, as it might aid in producing even better results.
Thanks to everyone - I do appreciate the feedback.
"Funny isn't it, how naughty dentists always make that one fatal mistake."
Follow the random tweets of a Michigan alum - http://twitter.com/#!/LorneEC3
While statistical analysis only tells part of the story, I for one ALWAYS appreciate your work, and this is another great example. Thank you, and well done.
A few tweaks to consider:
- Number of attempts in the passing and running game is not a good "target." Being above or below that does not indicate success or failure; however, a total number of plays on offense (higher is better) and defense (lower is better) might be a good measure. However, I do like to see the data on attempts; I just wouldn't include it in the "target" metrics.
- That said, completion percentage is an important statistic, and I think you ought to chart that.
All-in-all, a very good post, and fun to think about. What's best is that it seems to work: the teams with the highest overall scores were the best in the B1G, and it ranked the offenses and defenses accurately as well.
Thank you, Coach Hoke, for bringing Michigan back.
Excellent diary, LSA! It's interesting to compare season results (W/L) with % of targets achieved. The two correlate almost perfectly. It's also weird to notice that despite teams thinking JT Floyd was vulnerable all year, they ran the ball more often than normal and threw the ball less often than normal. Did we just get lucky that teams didn't try to exploit Floyd more, especially with Countess out and no pass rush to speak of? Granted, the B1G doesn't throw much to begin with, but we were still below average for pass attempts against.
"The straightest line from A to B is straight: From A to B"
"When you have Denard Robinson, you can have everything"
~George Walden
Even though the sample space is small, because there were so many catagories it was not suprising that there is a very strong corolation between score and record. What you should have done is order record verse score. If you had included just Big10 games and threw out nonconference the correlation would be more extreme.
That makes sense that a team that was doing better in more catagories would win more games. Any deviation would be due to catagories not covered. For example a big play defense, or mistake prone offense might skew the numbers for an individual team.
My guess if you could quantify more catagories, your numbers will match even closer to reality.
I think another interesting item is you have a self weighting mechnism for tempo. A team that plays a slow tempo game(less plays) will have inferior offensive numbers just because of fewer plays. However, that will improve the defense more then it should.
I had a friend who got payed a lot of money by Oldmobile to tell them customers were happier the fewer times they had to bring their car into the shop. Despite that, I think this exercise is useful in that it shows no team was truly lucky or unlucky. A team like NW that lost three games in the last minute did so not because it was unlucky but their pass defense was beyond terrible, which I think one would fine even if you evaluated more generic metrics like ypa.


text:
Information contained on this page is provided by companies via press release distributed through PR Newswire, an independent third-party content provider. PR Newswire, WorldNow and this Station make no warranties or representations in connection therewith.
SOURCE Ruling Our eXperiences
COLUMBUS, Ohio, March 14, 2013 /PRNewswire/ -- It's a charge adolescent girls often level against adults: "You just don't get it!"
Girls Without Limits: Helping Girls Achieve Healthy Relationships, Academic Success, and Interpersonal Strength, a new book by author Dr. Lisa Hinkelman, helps parents and other influential adults in their lives "get it" by developing a real understanding of what girls think and feel about their daily challenges.
Hinkelman, a noted counselor, educator and expert on empowering girls, said she wrote Girls Without Limits "to give girls a voice because they often feel no one is paying attention to their thoughts and opinions."
Along with what girls say about their own lives, the book provides useful action strategies to help parents, educators, counselors and other adults in their lives listen to, communicate with and motivate them.
Girls Without Limits "is appropriate for anyone who has girls in their life," said Hinkelman, a faculty member at The Ohio State University and founder of ROX-Ruling Our eXperiences, a non-profit organization that offers girls empowering lessons on topics such as healthy relationships, dating violence, boundary setting, body image, self-esteem and academic and career development.
Hinkelman spent nearly eight years surveying and interviewing thousands of girls from various ethnic, family, socioeconomic, geographic and school settings to learn what they consider important issues they face in their lives.
Research of adolescent girls reveals:
Hinkelman said too many messages directed at girls today focus on outward appearance rather than on their skills and talents.
"These messages can serve to restrict girls' perceptions of their abilities in school subjects, their career choices and their friendships and dating relationships," she said.
Girls Without Limits: Helping Girls Achieve Healthy Relationships, Academic Success, and Interpersonal Strength, published by Corwin Press, can be purchased on ROX's website, www.rulingourexperiences.com, to benefit the organization or at www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com.
About the author:
Lisa Hinkelman, Ph.D, is the founder and director of ROX, Ruling Our eXperiences, a non-profit organization delivering evidence-based empowerment programs to girls since 2006.
Dr. Hinkelman earned bachelor's degrees in psychology and education at Chatham College in Pittsburgh, PA and her master's and doctorate in counselor education at The Ohio State University (OSU). She is trained in mental health and school counseling and has served on the counselor education faculty at OSU since 2004.
About ROX (Ruling Our eXperiences):
The ROX program was founded by Lisa Hinkelman in 2006 to help empower girls to live healthy, independent and violence-free lives. Thousands of girls from public, private, parochial and charter schools-in urban, suburban and rural environments-have participated.
ROX features both elementary and secondary programs with 20 lessons on team-building, healthy relationships, cyber-bullying, friendships, girl bullying, sexual harassment, dating violence, boundary setting, self-defense, body image, self-esteem, leadership and academic and career development. Learn more at www.rulingourexperiences.com.
What's on the Minds of Young Girls Today?
Research provides insight about pressures, fears, challenges
Research of adolescent girls nationally reveals:
Research of Ohio girls uncovers related findings:
Contact: |
Lauren Hancock |
Ruling Our eXperiences (ROX) | |
614-488-8080 | |
©2012 PR Newswire. All Rights Reserved.


text:
Can't find what you need? Search here!
Register, RSS, or LOG IN!
Theme Activites, Parenting, Education
Find Us On Twitter and Facebook
Follow The Preschool Toolbox on Pinterest!
Current Tweets @pschooltoolbox
Share with your fans or friends!
For MORE activities for Preschool and Kindergarten, check out our free thematic ideas on SQUIDOO!
Recent Posts
Archived Seasonal Activities by Month
Grab our Blog Button!
Wikki Stix
The original wax coated STIX for hours of creative fun!
Sixty Second Parent
circle of moms top 25
Blog with Integrity
Tag Archives: Back to School Ideas for PreK
Centers Help for Back to School!
TranslationWe are busy preparing for the new school year as many of you are. We've ordered new classroom supplies, printed newsletters for parents, and are getting semester lesson plans in order. It's hard to believe that in less than a … Continue reading
Posted in Back to School for Preschool and PreK
Tagged Back to School Ideas for Kindergarten, Back to School Ideas for PreK, Back to School Ideas for Preschool, Back to School Printables, Blank Printing Strips for Kindergarten, Blank Printing Strips for PreK, Blank Printing Strips for Preschool, Daily Communication sheets for Kindergarten, Daily Communication Sheets for PreK, Daily Communication Sheets for Preschool, Number Free Printable for Kindergarten, Numbers Free Printable for PreK, Numbers Free Printable for Preschool, Poem for First Day of Kindergarten, Setting up Centers in Kindergarten, Setting up Centers in PreK, Setting up Centers in Preschool, Yellow Pencil Template
Leave a comment


text:
Shopping Cart
Items: 0 Total: $0.00
Learn Watch Repair Change a Watch Battery Replacing Watch Bands Make Coin Jewelry How to Test Gold DIY Ring Sizing
Mens Watch Bands Womens Watch Bands Leather Watch Bands Metal Watch Bands Rubber Watch Bands Expansion Watch Bands Diver Watch Bands
Esslinger and Company is a leading internet provider of jewelry supplies, watch parts, gemology tools, and much more. We provide a variety of popular brands and a commitment to quality that have established long-term relationships and earned the respect of our clients. Our high reputation and our extensive variety of high quality products are competitively priced and our commitment to customer satisfaction ensures that you will receive the best products at the best prices with the best service.
Returns Contact Us Site Map About Us Register Online My Account Links
Help Center | About Us | Terms of Use | Press Center | Site Map
Copyright ©2008 Esslinger and Company All Rights Reserved.


text:
Davis Towing and Recovery offers 24 Hour Towing and road Service with Quick Response Time. We handle loc... more
Welcome to your neighborhood 24 hour gym that fits your busy life! Affordable and convenient – your membe... more
State Farm Insurance has been providing customers with a full line of insurance products for over 80 year... more
© 2013 Local Corporation - US Patent 7,231,405
Some data provided by Acxiom. Questions and Comments? Send us your feedback!


text:
Stock Futures Follow European Markets Lower
NEW YORK (TheStreet) -- U.S. stock futures were negative ahead of Thursday's open, mirroring losses in Europe.
Weekly initial jobless claims came in at 357,000, the lowest level in roughly four years, but still a bit higher than the consensus estimate of 355,000.
Futures for the Dow Jones Industrial Average were softer by 60 points, or 64.8 points below fair value, at 12,945. Futures for the S&P 500 were behind by 7.2 points, or 8.2 points below fair value, at 1386. Futures for the Nasdaq were falling 7.3 points, or 12 points below fair value, at 2729.
U.S. stocks were stomped Wednesday, weighed down by diminished hopes for additional stimulus from the Federal Reserve and the prospect of more debt problems surfacing in Europe after a Spanish debt auction was met with weak demand.
Equity futures were taking a cue from the sliding European markets, where a sell-off in risk assets was taking place as yields on Spanish 10-year bonds rose another 12 basis points to 5.81%. The yields reached a pinnacle for the year and were racing past levels seen when the European Central Bank installed the first leg of its long-term refinancing program on Dec. 21 by more than 50 basis points.
The Labor Department has released data indicating that the number of Americans filing for new jobless benefits fell 6,000 to a seasonally adjusted 357,000 in the week ended March 31, from a upwardly revised 363,000 in the previous week, falling short of the decline to 355,000 expected by economists surveyed by Thomson Reuters.
Still, it was above the pivotal 350,000 level watched by traders. The four-week moving average for initial jobless claims decreased 4,250 to 361,750 and continuing claims for the week ended March 24 fell 16,000 to a seasonally adjusted 3.34 million.


text:
Lincoln Town Car Executive L long wheel base.We guarantee that all vehicles are not older than 2007.Free high-speed internet and iPads for passengers.Selection of complimentary drinks and snacks.Fully insured and licensed by MDOT.
from $25 per person
Luxury Town Car Sedan THIS IS NOT A LIMO great for corporate & executive needs or that special night out on the town features, leather Interior , rear limo tint and of course your own personal Chauffeur
from $97 per person
A full size luxury sedan. Town Car is the classic example of elegance and first class comfort.Town Car is truly an American icon-continuing its rich heritage with contemporary lines infused with classic design cues.
from $39 per person
The 8 Passenger Stretches have wrap around seating, TV, VCR. Rear Stereo with CD Player, Bar Facilities, Privacy Divider, and Accent Lighting. A Beautiful Limousine
from $45 per person
Lincoln Navigator L long wheel base. We guarantee that all vehicles are not older than 2008. Free high-speed internet and iPads for passengers. Selection of complimentary drinks and snacks. Fully insured and licensed by MDOT. Rear passenger DVD system.
from $22 per person
Beautiful all black limousine with black and grey two tone seating, ample bar space, awesome fiber optic lighting, premium stereo with cddvd. Also has a flat screen tv.
from $40 per person
14 passenger linc town car. Perfect car for those groups with larger parties not wanting an suv and too large for that average town car strech. Loaded with premium sound system and neon and fiber optic lighting
from $48 per person
Black Exterior Grey Interior Mag Wheels Stereo, DVD Player, 2 TVs, Ice Chest, Champagne Wells Full Fiber Optic Package, 2 Lightning Bolt Mood Lighting, Full Ceiling Fiber Optic Mirrors and Bar and exterior ground effect lighting
from $53 per person
Sorry, we could not match a vehicle to your request.
Please call 866-546-6726 for expert assistance in finding your ride. (or +1-404-614-7297 for international)
Multiple matches for your [pickup/dropoff]
Select a [pickup/dropoff] address from the list below
Try including:
Please call 866-546-6726 for assistance.
Limos.com is an online and mobile marketplace that connects passengers to affordable and trusted limo and private car services worldwide. Whether "window shopping" for wedding transportation or booking a town car for your next business trip, Limos.com has over 41,000 available vehicles in 370 destinations across 62 countries. See how it works ››
see all limo options »
antique & classic limos in North Fairfield
sedan limos car service in North Fairfield
suv limos escalade limos in North Fairfield
stretch limousines in North Fairfield
stretch suv exotic limos h2 hummer limos in North Fairfield
shuttle service executive van limos in North Fairfield
mini / party bus limos limo coach in North Fairfield
motorcoach limos limo buses in North Fairfield
trolley limos sightseeing limo in North Fairfield
Download our free iPhone and Android apps for the same great service on the fly.


text:
We have all the information you need about public and private dentists that provide 3-unit bridge in Leicestershire. Compare all the dentists and contact the dentist in Leicestershire who's right for you.
Looking for Private 3-Unit Bridge? Choose from 4 Private 3-Unit Bridge Clinics in Leicestershire and compare prices, patient reviews, and availability. Find the Best Price for 3-Unit Bridge in Leicestershire. Compare how much 3-Unit Bridge cost at all 4 clinics and save money on your treatment.
Thank you for asking your question. We moderate all questions before they are posted on the site. Please login to track your question and response.
How many dentists are there in the UK?
Who can I go to if I have a complaint about a dentist in the UK?
Is there someone who regulates dentists in the UK?


text:
Retail Sales Associate
Greenwood, Greenwood, IN
Our Retail Sales Associates are in the best position to deliver T-Mobile's 'staying connected' Retail promise to our customers. In this role, you'll hone professional sales techniques and learn all about the technology T-Mobile offers as you build the service relationships that are the foundation of our company's (and your team's) success. OPPORTUNITY - YOUR CHANCE TO SHINE Because customer satisfaction and loyalty is so important to us, T-Mobile's corporate structure is a little …
Updated this week


text:
version: UK | USA | International
Sort: publication date | titles A - Z
Page: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | next >
This comprehensive guide for practitioners working in end of life care covers everything from the different roles in the multi-disciplinary care team, the stages that a patient at the end of their life experiences and the professional help needed at each stage and gives a complete grounding of the current climate and philosophy in end of life care. more »
November 2013, Paperback: £19.99/ $29.95Keywords: adults, Alzheimer's disease, art therapy, arts therapies, cancer, creative therapies, creativity, death, dementia, dramatherapy, music therapy, older people, pain management, palliative care
Internationally renowned arts therapists introduce new ways of thinking and practise. The book gives an overview of mindfulness development, with sections on the expressive arts and particular mindfulness-based approaches with a range of client groups, the role of mindfulness in the training of arts therapists, and the neuroscience underlying it. more »
October 2013, Paperback: £19.99/ $29.95Keywords: art therapy, arts therapies, cancer, complementary therapies, creative therapies, creative writing as therapy, dance and movement therapy, dramatherapy, expressive therapies, interdisciplinary arts therapies, meditation, mindfulness, music therapy, pain management, poetry, psychotherapy, spirituality
There is increasing pressure on therapists to provide details of structured assessments and to report therapy outcomes. This edited volume provides a series of case studies, with varied client groups, giving arts therapists an accessible introduction to assessment and outcome measures that can be easily incorporated into their regular practice. more »
September 2013, Paperback: £22.99/ $36.95Keywords: adults, anxiety, art therapy, autism, children, creative therapies, dance and movement therapy, depression, disability, dramatherapy, expressive therapies, grief, interdisciplinary arts therapies, music therapy, psychology, trauma
There is a rapidly emerging and developing area of music therapy practice that uses electronic music technologies in a range of therapeutic and clinical settings to help clients with complex needs. With contributions from leading experts in the field, this edited volume explains cutting edge technologies and how to apply these tools in practice. more »
September 2013, Paperback: £27.99/ $45.00Keywords: adults, augmentative communication, autism, brain injury, children, communication, health care, intellectual disabilities, music therapy, occupational therapy, older people, palliative care, psychiatry, psychology, special education, speech and language pathology, speech and language therapy, teenagers
Music therapy can be a profound physical, emotional and spiritual support at the end of life. This book looks at a wide variety of cases, explaining how music therapy can be used effectively. It highlights particular components of working with this group, such as creating a therapeutic relationship, helping patients to reach final goals, working within cultural contexts and dealing with... more »
2013, Paperback: £17.99/ $29.95Keywords: adults, bereavement, community care, complementary therapies, counselling, creative therapies, death, dementia, depression, expressive therapies, grief, health care, mental health, music therapy, nursing, occupational therapy, older people, pain management, palliative care, spirituality
Accessible and inspirational, the unique approaches in this book provide everything you need to know to empower people with learning difficulties to experience and enjoy music. Written from an Occupational Therapy perspective, it offers a host of tips, resources and examples, including downloadable tracks performed and composed by The LA Buskers. more »
2013, Paperback: £19.99/ $34.95Keywords: adults, advocacy, communication, community care, disability, intellectual disabilities, movement, music therapy, occupational therapy, person-centred, psychology, self esteem, social care, social skills, teenagers
This book explores why many children with autism are so captivated by music and how practitioners and parents can harness this to develop language skills. Through case studies, it displays how music can become a scaffold for language; allowing autistic children to express their inner thoughts and feelings without resorting to destructive behaviour. more »
2013, Paperback: £17.99/ $29.95Keywords: autism, challenging behaviour, child development, child psychology, communication, education, giftedness, intellectual disabilities, music therapy, occupational therapy, pervasive developmental disorder, sensory issues, special education, speech and language pathology, speech and language therapy
This practical guide to self-employment takes you through every step of the process, from coming up with the idea and marketing yourself, finding jobs, and interviewing, to maintaining jobs and what happens when you or your client want to end the job. It considers the likely obstacles you may face, and covers topics such as ethics and interns. more »
2013, Paperback: £15.99/ $24.95Keywords: art therapy, arts therapies, careers, challenging behaviour, creative therapies, creative writing as therapy, creativity, dance, dance and movement therapy, dramatherapy, employment, expressive therapies, interdisciplinary arts therapies, music therapy, play therapy, psychodrama, reference, supervision
This practical guide to running music therapy groups with senior citizens provides effective strategies that encourage therapists to be creative and engaging, and involve participants fully in the music-making process. The author explains how to choose or create music that is accessible to older people, relating to the group's shared experiences. more »
2012, Paperback: £17.99/ $29.95Keywords: adults, Alzheimer's disease, arts therapies, communication, creativity, dementia, music therapy, older people, residential care
This practical guide provides brief, user-friendly descriptions of common and lesser known treatments for autism, offering a balanced overview of current opinion and scientific data. Each chapter covers a single treatment from ABA to TEACHH to GF/CF diets, allowing parents and professionals to make informed choices about treatment. more »
2012, Paperback: £13.99/ $19.95Keywords: alternative therapies, applied behaviour analysis, autism, biomedical intervention, bodywork, child development, child psychology, communication, complementary therapies, diet, drugs, early intervention, life skills, music therapy, occupational therapy, parenting, reference, sensory issues, social skills, special education
This edited book brings together renowned experts in music therapy and related fields to present current research, practical strategies, and policies useful for everyone interested in music as a tool to aid children on the autism spectrum. Case scenarios, examples and tip sheets further support the application of the knowledge-based content. more »
2012, Paperback: £24.99/ $39.95Keywords: applied behaviour analysis, Asperger syndrome, augmentative communication, autism, child development, child psychology, children, communication, early intervention, educational psychology, families, music therapy, play, social skills, social stories, special education, speech and language pathology, speech and language therapy
This book demonstrates diverse approaches from music therapy teams working in secure settings. Case studies provide evidence for the use of music therapy with a variety of client groups including adult and adolescent offenders, men and women with personality disorders and mental illnesses in low, medium and high secure treatment settings. more »
2012, Paperback: £24.99/ $36.95Keywords: adults, challenging behaviour, counselling, forensic psychotherapy, mental illness, music therapy, occupational therapy, offenders, psychiatry, psychology, psychosis, supervision, teenagers, violence
This book provides inspiration and guidance for special education teachers, assistants, parents and carers on how to use lively play ideas to foster learning. Targeting key skills such as listening, self-awareness, movement, creative thinking and relaxation, each game has been developed with the capabilities of children with special needs in mind. more »
2011, Paperback: £15.99/ $24.95Keywords: autism, child development, child psychology, children, communication, creativity, dance and movement therapy, disability, dramatherapy, education, inclusive classroom, mainstream education, music therapy, play, social skills, special education, speech and language pathology, speech and language therapy
This book describes how to develop a creative approach to the day-to-day care of people with dementia, and provides rich and varied ideas for creative activities for use with individuals or groups. The authors explain what creativity has to offer people with dementia, and how a creative approach can help to address the difficulties they face. more »
2011, Paperback: £19.99/ $36.95Keywords: Alzheimer's disease, art therapy, arts therapies, carers, communication, creative therapies, creativity, dance and movement therapy, dementia, music therapy, occupational therapy, older people, palliative care, person-centred, poetry
The complete guide to Dr. Lim's highly effective 'Developmental Speech-Language Training through Music' (DSLM). It covers a theoretical foundation, the latest research, clinical implications of DSLM protocols, explanations of specific interventions and the application of DSLM to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) Verbal Behavior (VB) approaches. more »
2011, Paperback: £23.99/ $36.95Keywords: arts therapies, autism, child development, children, communication, education, music therapy, social skills, special education, speech and language pathology, speech and language therapy
(85 titles match the current selection)


text:
45. | pants | ||
a word homosexuals use to describe the act of anal intercourse. After watching a man JO in the Gold's Gym showers, Chris turned around and took it in the pants.
1. | pants | ||
rubbish, no good, bag of shite you are pants
2. | pants | ||
(a) Noun. American, also used in some British dialects. Trousers, a bifurcated outer garment covering the body and each leg from waist to ankle. Until the late 20th century traditionally a male garment.
(b) Noun. British. Underpants. (c) Verb. American. To pull down someone's pants (trousers). Can be done to either males or females by either males or females. See also depants (d) Verb. American. To overpower someone and remove his trousers by force as a humiliation. Equivalent to the British debag. Usually only done to males as removal of the pants, the traditional male garment, is a symbolic emasculation. Pantsing in this sense may be used as an initiation rite, a punishment, or just done for fun. See also depants (e) Verb. American. Strip someone naked. (f) Verb. American. Inflict a crushing defeat on someone. (g) Verb. American. To inflict crushing criticism on someone. (h) Adjective. British. Rubbish (a) Girls are not permitted to wear pants at this school.
(b) He had nothing on but his pants and socks. (c) While I was talking to some girls my so-called friend came up behind me and pantsed me. (d) We grabbed him, took him behind the bushes and held him down while the girls pantsed him. (e) We pantsed him, got all his clothes off. (f) Our team got pantsed again. (g) Don't make silly comments in an Internet discussion group or you will be publicly pantsed. (h) Your opinion is pants. |
3. | pants | ||
This word can have two meanings if you are from the UK. It either means
1. The British word for panties, underpants, etc 2. Rubbish, bad 1. "I bought some new pants and a matching bra."
2. "This film is pants!" |
4. | pants | ||
adjective. British slang. Not good; total crap; nonsense; rubbish; bad "The first half of the movie was pants but I stayed until the end and it was actually a great film."
5. | pants | ||
Not good, not up to the task, not true. Originally a UK schoolboy slang expression: "a pile of pants", presumably the equivalent of dirty, smelly washing. Later spread to adults and abreviated. "It doesn't work. It's just a pile of pants!" or "I don't like that group. Their music is pants" cf "balsa" and "a piece of balsa".
6. | Pants | ||
1. Things worn over your nether regions. They provide comfort and style. Don't wear high waters unless there is a flood or something.
2. A completely random phrase that can be used to respond to any question imaginable. 3. Something that can be said when there is nothing to say. 1. I like my new pants.
2. Are you gay? Pants. 3. (Something bad happens) Well . . . pants. |
7. | pants | ||
v. The act of pulling down someone's pants Crazy Achmed just got pants'd by that asshole over there


text:
Again! Giants Top Patriots to Win Super Bowl
Updated: February 5, 2012
Ahmad Bradshaw scored on a six-yard touchdown run with 57 seconds remaining to lift the Giants to a 21-17 win on Sunday.
Manning led the 88-yard drive to win the game and was named Most Valuable Player, just like he orchestrated an 83-yard drive to capture the 2008 Super Bowl over the Patriots, which ended New England's hopes of a perfect season and ended with Manning winning MVP.
With time running down -- and a chance to let it tick off even further -- Bradshaw nearly sat at the half-yard line before falling back into the end zone for the touchdown. A two-point conversion failed.
Tom Brady completed a 19-yard pass to Deion Branch on 4th-and-16, but a last- second Hail Mary pass fell incomplete in the end zone, just out of the reach of injured tight end Rob Gronkowski.
Just as New York's winning drive four years ago had an instant-classic play, this one got its goosebumps moment with 3:39 remaining.
It was Mario Manningham's 38-yard catch near the left sideline on the first play of the drive, which took the Giants to midfield. Manningham got behind cornerback Sterling Moore, and took a hit from safety Patrick Chung, but kept his feet in bounds for the catch.
The play was upheld upon review, with Manningham scraping his back foot on the turf before he tumbled head-first out of bounds.
Manning was 5-of-6 for 74 yards on the drive and passed big brother Peyton by winning his second Super Bowl ring. He finished the game 30-of-40 for 296 yards and a touchdown pass to Victor Cruz in the first quarter.
Brady set a Super Bowl record by completing 16 straight passes and ended 27- of-41 for 276 yards with touchdown passes to Danny Woodhead and Aaron Hernandez.
But Brady failed in his attempt to win four titles in the last 11 seasons and match his idol, Joe Montana, and Terry Bradshaw with four Super Bowl wins as a quarterback.
The Giants won Super Bowl XLII, 17-14, four years ago after a final drive that included David Tyree's now-famous helmet catch and Plaxico Burress' 13-yard touchdown reception with 35 seconds remaining.
Their win Sunday in Super Bowl XLVI capped an improbable run that almost never happened. New York only made the playoffs by beating Dallas in the last game of the regular season.
Of course, the regular season also included a 24-20 win over New England in Week 9. The Patriots won 10 straight games in between that loss on November 6 and Sunday's Super Bowl.
Brady set a Super Bowl record for consecutive completions and threw a 12-yard touchdown pass to Aaron Hernandez that helped the Patriots take a 17-15 lead over the Giants after three quarters.
Brady's 16th straight completion going back to the first half found Hernandez across the middle and the second-year tight end broke a tackle by safety Deon Grant to get into the end zone.
After completing his final 11 passes in the first half -- including 10 on a 96-yard touchdown drive that tied a Super Bowl record -- Brady was 5-for-5 on the 79-yard drive that opened the third quarter.
Brady's 16 straight completions tied his own postseason record and broke the Super Bowl record of his idol, Joe Montana, during Super Bowl XXIV in 1990. Brady's 16 postseason wins are tied with Montana for most playoffs victories by a quarterback in NFL history.
The Giants responded to Hernandez's touchdown with a 45-yard drive that ended in a 38-yard field goal by Lawrence Tynes to get them within 17-12. The drive was set up by Jerrel Jernigan's 34-yard kickoff return.
New England went 3-and-out after that, with Giants defensive end Justin Tuck sacking Brady on third down and driving the quarterback's left shoulder into the turf.
New York, with good field position at the Patriots 48, turned around and kicked another field goal to get within 17-15. Tynes was good on the 33- yarder.
Soon after, the Giants couldn't cashed in a turnover for points.
Brady was being pursued by three Giants defenders when he heaved a pass downfield for Gronkowski as Jason Pierre-Paul delivered a hit. In coverage in front of Gronkowski, linebacker Chase Blackburn intercepted what was basically a jump ball at the Giants eight-yard line.
The ensuing Giants drive ended in a punt after Manning's third down pass to Manningham fell incomplete. Cornerback Sterling Moore made contact with Manningham from behind as the pass was being broken up and New York coach Tom Coughlin was seen screaming on the sideline.
Earlier, Brady threw a four-yard touchdown pass to Danny Woodhead to cap a Super Bowl record-tying 96-yard drive near the end of the second quarter and give the Patriots a 10-9 lead going into halftime.
Brady was 10-for-10 on the drive and completed his last 11 passes in the half. The 96-yard drive came after the Patriots were pinned in deep by a punt.
In fact, Manning started the game 9-for-9 and threw a two-yard touchdown pass to Victor Cruz to give New York a 9-0 lead after the first quarter.
New York also got two points on a safety when Brady was called for intentional grounding on New England's first play from scrimmage.
Brady's pass, under pressure, was thrown 45 yards downfield from the front of the end zone with no receiver in the vicinity and was the sixth safety in Super Bowl history.
Manning led the Giants on a 78-yard drive after that, which included a penalty on New England for too many men on the field that reversed a fumble by Cruz.
The drive was capped by Manning's short pass to Cruz behind two defenders with 3:24 left in the quarter, making it 9-0.
The Giants ran 19 of the game's first 20 plays from scrimmage as New England had trouble getting out of its own way early.
But the Patriots started a 60-yard drive that spanned the first and second quarters and ended in Stephen Gostkowski's 29-yard field goal, pulling them within 9-3.