text:
Virgin Blue Announces Multi Billion Dollar Aircraft Deal And Over 1100 Jobs For New International Airline21/03/2007
Virgin Blue Airlines has taken a significant step in its plans to launch Australia's newest international airline with the signing today of a multi billion dollar aircraft order and confirmation that it will create over 1100 new jobs.
Chief Executive, Brett Godfrey was joined by the Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Transport and Regional Services, Hon Mark Vaile and President of Boeing Australia, Craig Saddler, to sign an AUD $2.2 billion deal for six Boeing 777-300ER aircraft and options for six additional aircraft from The Boeing Company.
Virgin Blue has also signed an agreement with leading global lessor, International Leasing Finance Company (ILFC) for a seventh 777-300ER, taking the total aircraft commitment price to AUD$2.6 billion.
The order comes as Virgin Blue accelerates plans for its yet-to-be-named long haul airline operation. While routes are yet to be announced, the new international airline will initially focus on flights between Australia and the West Coast of the USA.
Virgin Blue Chief Executive, Brett Godfrey, said, "This is a significant milestone for Virgin Blue and for Australian aviation."
He continued, "We have demonstrated our contribution in the seven years since launching Virgin Blue in the Australian domestic market through flexible and innovative products for both leisure and business travellers and we look forward to doing it all over again.
"Our decision to make this significant investment is a clear indication that the findings of the Government's Aviation Review last year were the right ones. Based squarely on that Cabinet review and resolution, Virgin Blue took a decision to invest and launch a new international airline for Australia."
"We will launch that airline in 2008. We will create more Australian jobs, bring more tourists and provide choice and vigorous competition on the Trans Pacific route."
President of Boeing Australia, Craig Saddler, said, "Virgin Blue will be the first Australian airline to operate the exceptional
777-300ER aircraft and we look forward to working with Virgin Blue in its quest to open up international air travel to more people."
He continued, "We have stood side by side with Virgin Blue since its launch with our aircraft six and a half years ago and we have enjoyed immensely working with the Virgin Blue team and watching their continued success. We are excited to be on board for this new phase."
A Virgin Blue team is currently in the United States working with US Government representatives regarding the regulatory approval process, which has been underway for some months.
Virgin Blue's long haul project team is currently recruiting other key management team members. Within the first twelve months of its operation, the long haul airline will create 1160 Australian based jobs including cabin crew, pilots and ground crew. Virgin Blue has set up a section on its website for early expressions of interest (www.virginblue.com.au under About Us, then Jobs).
The name of the new airline and updates on the regulatory process will be announced in the next few months.


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subset: commoncrawl


text:
Facing a second term, President Obama says he wants his legacy to be national recovery from domestic and international challenges.
Obama told Time magazine that he came into office "at a time when our economy was on the brink of collapse," and "internationally, we were embroiled in two wars but our leadership around the world was being questioned."
Four years from now, Obama said he would like to have it said that "we had steered this ship of state so that we once again had an economy that worked for everybody; that we had laid the foundation for broad-based prosperity."
Globally, Obama said he would like to see "the framework for continued American leadership in the world throughout the 21st century, while recognizing that the world is changing and that we should encourage the kind of growth and development in other parts of the world, but over the long term will be good for us and good for the world."
Obama emphasized the national economy:
"I think about this eight-year project as one in which domestically on education, on energy, on tax policy, on manufacturing, on research and science we have gotten our -- we've shaken off some ongoing problems that have hampered our growth. We have reasserted the idea that if you work hard in this country, you can make it.
"And that we've also accommodated all the demographic changes, and cultural and technological changes that are taking place, and been able to marry those with some of the old-fashioned virtues of hard work and discipline and responsibility -- all in a way that allows us to succeed and to thrive, and not just for a few at the top, but for the many."


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Chanel Le Vernis polish in Elixir, $27, chanel.com.
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WHY IT WORKS: "It's just about as dark as a blueish purple can go while still maintaining a violet hue."
Essie polish in After School Boy Blazer $8, essie.com
Celebrity Super Side Parts


text:
Skip to comments.NEW PHOTOS OF SAUDI STUDENT IN HOSPITAL (BURNED HANDS)
Posted on 04/18/2013 8:47:15 AM PDT by LyinLibs
Yesterday, we posted a photo of Abdul Rahman Ali Issa Al-Salimi Al-Harbi, a Saudi national who was a person of interest in the Boston marathon bombings.
In that photo, Al-Harbi doesnt appear to be the least bit concerned about his fate.
Now we have another photo (h/t Diana West) of Alharbi at the hospital, smiling while standing next to what appears to be a Saudi diplomat...
(Excerpt) Read more at shoebat.com ...
This is the same Saudi (in USA on student visa) who was allegedly tackled after the Boston Marathon bombing, and allegedly ended up in the hospital with "burns on his hands" and "smelled of gunpowder."
I should also mention that Al-Harbi allegedly has DOZENS of relatives in al-Qaeda, and SOME OF HIS RELATIVES ARE reported to be IN GUANTANO BAY:
For comparison, look at these photos from the Boston Marathon. Is that Al-Harbi with his Saudi cohorts?
PHOTOS: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/3008735/posts?page=90#90
THEORY ON GOV'T STALLING: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/3008783/posts?page=42#42
Has anyone been able to link this guy with pictures from the race?
Has anyone been able to link this guy with pictures from the race?
Were German students allowed to study in the country during World War II?
Those are creepy photos ( http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/3008735/posts?page=90#90 ). Also, the street interview of the roommate was creepy. Something didn't seem right with the guy.
They're going to send him packing home to do more terror, apologize to the Sauds, and then blame it all on osme poor shlub unrelated to the incident and paint it as "right wing extremism."
The last bit has been their narrative and gameplan from the beginning.
[Also, why did it take Zero three hours to respond with a three minute mumbling "speech"? Didn't they hammer Dubya for taking eleven minutes?]
It is time to abandon the Liberal prejudice that outlaws Profiling.
Did Shoebat crash or is it just me?
Not working for me... crashed or taken down.
It has crashed because Drudge linked to The Blaze article that contained his link. It'll quiet down after a while.
Shoebat site is very slow.
Getting hit hard probably b/c I don't see those hospital photos available anywhere else.
You silly...
who hasnt burned their hands cooking lunch ???
It was a pressure cooker from his Mom's kitchen after all...
Hes in more trouble from Mom for not asking first...
Well, It's not Jack Ruby........
I think I just heard that he will not be deported after all.
Mohamed or Ali something or other...
Probably his handler at the Saudi embassy.
U.S. President Barack Obama met with Saudi Foreign Minister Prince Saud al-Faisal at the White House on Wednesday and discussed the conflict in Syria, a spokeswoman said.
The meeting was not on Obama's public schedule.
The spokeswoman, Caitlin Hayden, said the president joined a meeting between the Saudi official and Obama's national security adviser, Tom Donilon.
I'm troubled that they are attempting to downplay this and lump it together with "violence" in general. This was a terror attack on a major city and for some unknown reason, it's not getteing the attention it deserves the way it did during the Bush years. I do not feel safe with these people in charge. Riding the subway yesterday I was quite uneasy knowing that any one of the many commuters with backpacks could have a pressure device in it.
Not new, we had them here yesterday (along with more info than Shoebat posts, such as cryptic responses from his friends).
He is Saudi Consul from New York Mr. Azzam bin Abdul Karim.
Maybe he's innocent and has faith in American justice?
A Q Khan. /s
Thanks! :-)
Pictures removed..........
I wonder if he is still wearing that smirk.
He sure doesn't look upset in that hospital picture...looks pretty tickled. If the American public saw this picture and knew about Beck's investigator's report..wonder how popular O would be?
There are enough names there for a terrorist cell!
How come the kid has flash burns on his hands and arms but no apparent lower extremity wounds?
He doesn't have burned hands.
He doesn't have burned hands.
"He doesnt have burned hands."
Really? You can tell that from the photo?
I don't think you can.
Plus, why is he at the hospital? If he wasn't burned or "smelling strongly of gunpowder," why didn't they just question him or detain him?
Last fall, my neighbor had contractors welding something outside, and they literally set my tree on fire. I ran outside and beat the flames with a sweatshirt and burned my hand deeply.
For a few days you really couldn't see it, but then it blistered, then that popped, then it looked bloody/pus like I got bitten by a wild animal. It took a full week to start looking like a burn, and I was staring at my hand from 1 foot away.
Give it a month of two, they'll rename buildings after him in his home town of Medina.
Does the State Department's (our's) terrorist protection program include a stipend/pension?
I would like to know why the three seperated roaming into the crowd?
The guy withe the yellow striped sleave is still behind the man in Yellow shirt. Guy in grey is by wall circled! Where is Third man?!
Can you not see the pics? No, he doesn't have burned hands. There are no bandages and he's got his fingers linked. The only thing on his hand is the IV bandage for the needle.
That begs the question, what's he doing in the hospital? He's standing up and is able to pose for the cameras with a big smile. So, maybe a bump or bruise under his gown but nothing to keep him hospitalized other than for observation either by the doc or the FBI.
Can you not see the pics? No, he doesn't have burned hands. There are no bandages and he's got his fingers linked. The only thing on his hand is the IV bandage for the needle.
That begs the question, what's he doing in the hospital? He's standing up and is able to pose for the cameras with a big smile. So, maybe a bump or bruise under his gown but nothing to keep him hospitalized other than for observation either by the doc or the FBI.
Another thread shows that a guy who closely resembles the "white cap and sunglasses with a black bag" suspect in one of the 4chan crowd photos, is on facebook as a "friend" of the maybe-deportee Saudi.
"Where is Third man?!"
SAUDI#3 is right next to his friend. He's wearing a black knit hat, and he's partially obscured by his buddy in black (yellow striped) tracksuit. Look over the (right hand shoulder) of tracksuit guy.
Is the backpack still with the man in black jacket with the yellow striped sleeves? Man in grey still has his by wall!
Still searching for third man!
Has he moved to the second bomb site with the backpack that was on the ground?
Ahmed Al-harbi, the facebook "friend" of the maybe-deportee Saudi:
Compare him to the "white hat with sunglasses" suspect: Same guy?
"Can you not see the pics? No, he doesnt have burned hands. There are no bandages and hes got his fingers linked. The only thing on his hand is the IV bandage for the needle."
My point to you, again, is that skin tones due to burns aren't necessarily clear/obvious in photographs.
These aren't autopsy photos with a super-high-res lens in closeup, these are snapshots from a couple yards away.
Also, maybe he had powder burns Monday when he entered the hospital. Maybe those burns weren't as severe as they looked when he was apprehended with powder/soot on his hands. Maybe since then, they've cleaned him up, and his "Severe Burns" turned out to be "got scorched by something but it just burnt the hair off his knuckles."
If he's not injured, can you explain why they've inserted an IV into him?
The guys NOT in the hospital for nonexistant burns were probably already on planes out of country within two days.
Unless, of course, there's more coming.
If they haven't been given a fee pass to leave by Zero, then there is more to come.
"Ahmed Al-harbi, the facebook friend of the maybe-deportee Saudi:
Compare him to the white hat with sunglasses suspect: Same guy?"
Son of a bitch, he looks very similar. Even facial hair is same.
Here's a compilation of the "white hat guy" at bomb site #1
Convince me that this county isn't a disaster. Chrip, chirp.
Sorry, can't convince you of something that isn't true.
I mean, I can try and convince you of that.
But I am terrible at comedy.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


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Jonathan Prantner
Manager of Statistics
Social media measurements that matter
From sentiment analysis to predictive ROI, Organic uses SAS® to help clients direct and improve social media campaigns
What if you could predict – within a day or two of launching it – what the long-term results of your social media campaign would be? What if you could use that prediction to direct and improve the campaign on the fly? Organic is helping brands do just that with SAS® Analytics.
Here, Jonathan Prantner, Manager of Statistics for Organic, explains how statistical methods like sentiment analysis and velocity and acceleration calculations inform his clients' digital marketing decisions.
Q: A lot of traditional marketers' heads are still spinning over this new era of social media engagement. I'm wondering – as a digital marketing agency – was social media marketing and measurement a natural transition for you?
From a marketing point of view, social media is the next logical extension for us. Organic has a long history around marketing mix work with direct-response mediums.
Social media offers an outlet for branding messages and brand experiences that don't have an immediate impact on purchases. Social media measurement is tricky in much the same way that tracking how TV advertisements relate to sales has always been tricky. Historically, measuring awareness-building activities and tracking how they affect your brand has relied a lot on surveys, which allow you to gauge those changes in awareness. But they're generally very slow-moving and one-off processes.
However, social media allows for much more reflective and reflexive measures. Using responses to measure your impact helps you calculate a real-time impact to see how marketing efforts are affecting brand awareness and consideration.
The great thing about SAS is that it's so powerful and has such a broad offering.
Jonathan Prantner
Q: What concerns do your clients have about adding social media to their marketing mix?
People are definitely more excited about it, but measurement and ROI are big issues right now with clients. Clients are treating social media much the same way that traditional media was treated in the past: "It's great. It's interesting. But we don't know what value it provides. We know we need to do it – but we don't know what it means."
Q: Has your focus on digital measurement given you an edge over other agencies?
I definitely think it has. Since we have a laser focus on the interactive piece, that's where we put effort on the way we tell our story. As a digital agency that seamlessly blends creative and predictive intelligence we have carved out a space for ourselves. It makes the conversation a little more equal when sitting at the table with other marketing partners.
Q: Tell me about the velocity and acceleration model that was mentioned in MIT Tech Review.
That model is something that's fairly straightforward. It looks at the rates of change in how your social media imprint is growing. At the point when you examine results and you're able to see spikes in your increase, you look at the cumulative social imprint and look at first and second derivatives. When we see the spike, we're able to relate the height of that spike to the ceiling that you'll eventually see from that spike further on down the line.
Take a Facebook ad. If you get a spike in new fans or likes the first day, we're able to judge the long-lasting impact and predict how it will trail off in the future. When doing PR activities like events, we can use the same model to judge the success of that event not just based on that day but on the long-term impact of the event.
For any campaign, based on what the overall goals are, you can use these measures to course-correct.
Q: What other ways are you using SAS to measure social media campaigns?
Another method we've developed with SAS is to use interactive and social media sentiment measurement as a proxy for consideration. If you're able to measure your imprint and your Web traffic, you're able to capture that for computation as well through social sites. We then distill that down into an overall consideration score.
Essentially, clients can see how they're gaining or losing compared to competitors. If your competitor had a market increase this month, we can see which social metrics are driving that.
Q: Can you provide an example of how this works?
With a homebuilder client, we were able to link online consideration scores to the leads and inquiries that were generated by them. We were able to find that relationship and helped compare this with competitor sites, and estimated what lead volume competitors were receiving at the same time.
Changes in customer habits helped inform the client's marketing plans. One of the main things we learned is that one of their competitors had artificially propped up their scores in a way that wasn't sustaining because it was driven by sweepstakes. This measurement helped influence the discussions about sweepstakes and the usefulness of those programs.
Q: Given all the different scenarios in a digital advertising agency, how important is the flexibility that you get from SAS?
The great thing about SAS is that it's so powerful and has such a broad offering. You're able to have all these tools at your fingertips to develop distinct models for each part of the process. So, even just trying to capture the spread of a message, you may use one tool to deal with multiple social media and interactive touch points and then another for removing correlations between those touch points and looking at causes. Then, you can use a different area of SAS to develop models for ROI and another for forecasting models, yet it's all self-contained. Once you build your data sets, you can slice it in so many different ways without having to switch from one software package to another.
The other great thing is all the SAS user blogs and the wide reach of SAS, not only through SAS user groups, but the ability to sit in presentations from different industries and learn from what they're doing. Sometimes I hear how the census bureaus or medical research companies are using SAS, and that outside perspective just fits perfectly for how we're looking at customer life cycles in a different way.
That's one of the great things about working for something as broad as the consumer life cycle. Everything from Google to market basket analysis gives you a starting point. You just need code and a different way of looking at something than what you had originally thought.
Help clients determine and track real return on investment for social media campaigns.
Organic's systems for measuring social media help clients predict the long-term results of their digital marketing campaigns.


text:
Magdalena "Lydia" Gowler, 79, Belle Rive, died 6 a.m. Monday, Dec. 16, 2013, at her home.
Funeral services are 10 a.m. Friday, Dec. 20, 2013, at Gholson Funeral Home in Dahlgren. Visitation is 9 a.m. Friday until service time.
She was the widow of Kenneth Gowler. She is survived by three sons, two daughters, eight grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren.
Location, ST | website.com


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A quick look at the eight-game NBA schedule for Sunday, March 24, ranking games by watchability (all times p.m. Eastern):
MUST-WATCH: Charlotte Bobcats (16-53) at Miami Heat (54-14), 6, NBATV
The worst team in the NBA visits the best team in the NBA and tries to stop its 25-game winning streak. Doesn't sound like must-watch television? NBATV disagrees, as the network picked this game up because of the stakes. The Bobcats, who had an 18-game losing streak at one point, could make things more interesting than it might seem on paper, though. Four of their 16 wins have come against playoff-bound opponents, and they kept the Heat close in their last meeting, a 99-94 Miami win that was the second game in this streak. Plus, Miami has a penchant for allow bad opponents to build big leads. You're watching for the streak, though. That's all there is to it. And everyone expects it to survive another day.
2. San Antonio Spurs (53-16) at Houston Rockets (38-31), 7
The Rockets can run most opponents ragged with their fast pace. But they can't beat the best with those tricks. Houston is 2-13 against the top six teams int he NBA, 0-3 against the Spurs this season. They win games because they exhaust teams, but those top six teams (Heat, Spurs, Oklahoma City Thunder, Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Clippers and Memphis Grizzlies) don't often allow opponents to control the pace.
3. Utah Jazz (34-35) at Dallas Mavericks (33-36), 7:30
4. Portland Trail Blazers (33-36) at Oklahoma City Thunder (51-19), 7
It's hard to imagine how this happened, but the Jazz are at risk of falling to 11th in the Western Conference. The Mavericks and Blazers are eager to move into a tie with the Jazz, though Portland's challenge is greater. Dallas and Portland wins put all three teams two games behind the Lakers for the No. 8 seed, thanks to Los Angeles' ugly losses in its past two games.
5. Atlanta Hawks (38-31) at Milwaukee Bucks (34-34), 3
It's always fun when teams meet again two days after a feisty confrontation involving two ejections.
6. Chicago Bulls (37-31) at Minnesota Timberwolves (24-43), 7
Can the Bulls keep up momentum gained in Saturday night's big win? Improved road play is key.
7. Brooklyn Nets (40-29) at Phoenix Suns (23-47), 9
The Nets may have the best record this season against bad teams, and the Suns are a bad team.
8. Philadelphia 76ers (26-42) at Sacramento Kings (25-45), 9
The city's effort to keep the Kings is making its final push. Will the team?
PHOTOS: Miami Heat's epic streak, victory by victory


text:
Super Nutrients for Mothers
By Drs. Rick and Jan Hanson
I'm not sick or anything, but I sure feel run down. What can I do - that's simple and easy, since I've got an infant, a toddler, and a preschooler (yikes!) - to feel better?
First, there are the basics that everyone knows - and our own mothers kept telling us - like getting regular exercise, making sleep a priority (over housework!), taking at least a little time for yourself every day, eating a balanced diet, limiting sweets, and getting regular check-ups to rule out serious health problems.
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If you make sure to get these nutrients routinely, you're definitely going to feel better. It may take a few months, because it takes a while to get nutrients back into the body, especially minerals. That's why you have to stick with it, and not expect an overnight miracle. But when you stay the course, nurturing your own body while you nurture your family, you will likely experience a dramatic improvement in your health and well-being!
So here's what you need to do:


text:
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Moroccan apricot chicken recipe
The Lebanese Recipes Kitchen (The home of delicious Lebanese Recipes and Middle Eastern food recipes) invites you to try Moroccan apricot chicken Recipe. Enjoy Middle Eastern food and learn how to make Moroccan apricot chicken.
Buy chicken in bulk and make meals to eat now or freeze for later.
Ingredients (serves 4)
1 tablespoon olive oil
4 (150g each) chicken breast fillets, trimmed
1 medium brown onion, halved, thinly sliced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 tablespoon Moroccan seasoning mix
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 tablespoons honey
400g can whole peeled tomatoes
1 cup chicken stock
1 cup dried apricots
400g can chickpeas, drained, rinsed
Fresh coriander leaves and couscous, to serve
Heat oil in a large frying pan over medium-high heat. Cook chicken for 2 minutes each side or until browned. Transfer to a plate.
Add onion to pan. Cook, stirring, for 5 minutes or until softened. Add garlic and seasoning. Cook for 1 minute or until fragrant. Add tomato paste and honey. Cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add tomatoes, stock, apricots and chickpeas. Bring to the boil.
Return chicken to pan. Reduce heat to low. Simmer, uncovered, turning chicken occasionally, for 20 minutes or until chicken is cooked through and sauce has reduced and thickened slightly. Serve chicken mixture with couscous and coriander.
Chicken tips: Freeze chicken breasts in a single layer in freezer or snap-lock bags for up to 6 months.
If using chicken breasts for stir-fries or casseroles, slice or chop the chicken before freezing for quicker defrosting.
When barbecuing chicken breasts, cut 2cm-deep slits into top of chicken for a shorter cooking time. This technique is also useful for marinating, so the chicken absorbs more flavour.
Nutritional information
This information is per serve.
Protein Dietary Fibre
43.50g 8.40g
Fat Total Energy
7.90g 2093kJ
Fat Saturated Sodium
1.70g 1284mg
Carbohydrate Total Cholesterol
59.50g 97.00mg
Carbohydrate Sugars -
Super Food Ideas - September 2009, Page 21
Recipe by Kirrily La Rosa
More from Lebanese Recipes Blog:
Chicken and Eggplant
Chicken with saffron, honey and macadamias
Chicken kebabs with lemon and coriander couscous
Chicken with Eggplant and Cauliflower Rice
Easy lemon chicken tagine
Chicken & chickpea tagine
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3 comments:
- AnonymousJanuary 22, 2012 at 4:46 PM
What is Moroccan seasoning mix?ReplyDelete
How can I make it?
Moroccan seasoning mix recipeDelete
This spice blend is used extensively in Moroccan cooking. Use the freshest spices you can find.
5 teaspoons ground nutmeg
5 teaspoons ground cumin
5 teaspoons ground coriander
2 1/2 teaspoons allspice
2 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 1/4 teaspoons cayenne pepper
1 1/4 teaspoons cinnamon
Mix spices together and store in an airtight container.
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text:
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text:
After being duly sworn upon oath, Prague Gnostic Hater hereby deposes and states as follows:
Greetings, Perjuries.
The Prague has spent the past year in grave danger. After gracing you, the tired, the poor of Perjuries with the knowledge of a competing entity to AMTAThe Alternative National Championship Tournament (ANCT)The Prague fell on hard times. No, not the type of hard times that have befallen many in the country (and Bellarmine mock trial), but the type of hard times mostly known to the likes of international spies, presidents, and Bono. Yes, The Prague has been the target of an assassination. What follows in this affidavit are dark secrets, tales of espionage, and an ugly truth not fit for all to hear. It is The Pragues hope that by giving this affidavit The Prague can enlighten the huddled masses yearning to breathe free, to bring about change and the power that comes only with knowledge. By electing to read further you are recognizing potential danger to yourself, and assuming the risk. You realize that upon learning the truth, you will have no choice but to accept it as fact and reality. We are The Prague. Resistance is futile.
This has been a trying year for The Prague. The more The Prague reflected on what happened last year at ANCT, the more things did not add up. Why were Kris Lyons and Jimmy Cool both there? How did they not know about each other? The Prague saw Lyons dead body; how was Lyons around at AMTA events this year and doing the live draw on webcam? How come more people on Perjuries didn't comment about ANCT? Something was amiss. Something was wrong.
These began as just questions in The Pragues mind, but before the summer was even over, The Prague would try to see just how deep the rabbit hole went. One day The Prague received a PM from Lyons Perjuries account asking The Prague to identify The Pragues self and join the case committee. This didn't make senseLyons was dead. When The Prague didn't respond, it was only a matter of time. One day, on The Pragues way home from purchasing some arugula, The Prague saw a red-dot on The Pragues shirt. The Prague ducked just in time, as a bullet whizzed past and shot out the glass on the Impala across the street. The Prague took cover behind a phone booth occupied by a cheeky-looking Irishman, and was able to flee before being caught. The Prague was now ensconced in something way bigger than The Prague could ever imagine.
That first week, The Prague focused on staying safe and in hiding. But then, The Prague though of you, the wretched refuse of the teeming shore of Perjuries. All of you who needed The Prague, relied on The Prague, and had no idea how you could also be in danger. The Prague made it a personal mission this past year to uncover the truth. What was going on? Who tried to kill The Prague, and why? This quest thrust The Prague into a dark world of corporate greed and espionage. The Prague knew two things. First, this mystery had to be uncovered. Second, ANCT 2 had to happen. Something about the first ANCT had set AMTA off. If The Prague was able to convince someone to host another ANCT, perhaps The Prague could get to the bottom of all this. What follows are the details The Prague uncovered about AMTA, the Lyons-Cool deathmatch, the assassination attempt on The Pragues life, and, of course, what happened at ANCT.
The first order of business was deciding on a location. As suitable as CCCCC, Texas had once been, things had gotten too big for a (former) community college. It had to be Des Moines, Iowa. As the birthplace of AMTA, if ever there was a conspiracy, there would be evidence of it somewhere in Polk County. It also struck The Prague as suspicious that AMTA was keeping competitors out of Des Moines this year; something was happening there. The Prague still needed a school to host ANCT.
After seeing Josh Peterson suffering from the severe depression caused by not competing at the NCT Petersons own school hosted, The Prague decided to exploit it by offering Peterson (and Hamline University) the opportunity to host ANCT. The Prague sweetened the offer by promising Peterson (and the more apathetic roster of Hamline) the opportunity to compete as well. Since Perjuries has clearly slacked in the duty of reanimating the graveyard division, The Prague took it upon The Pragues self to create this years graveyard division. The teams are as follows:
- University of Iowa A
- University of California-Irvine B*
- Tulane University A
- Columbia University A
- Rhodes College B
- University of Georgia A
- Ohio State University A*
- Penn State University A
- University of Washington A
- University of Alabama-Birmingham B
- Roger Williams University A
- Hamline University A
- Baylor University A*
- Middle Tennessee State University B
- Duke University B
- Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey B
- Vanderbilt University A*
- Drake University A
- Yale University A
- Howard University B
- University of Oregon A*
- Bowling Green State University A
- University of California-Santa Cruz A
*Indicates team declined bid. Details below.
Though all of these teams received bids to ANCT, there were a few teams that declined. What follows are the teams that declined and the teams that replaced them via the open-grave system (akin to the open-bid system).
- UC-Irvine B declined their invitation to attend, citing previous plans by Justin Bernstein to the contrary, and was (once again) replaced by UC-Irvine A.
- Ohio State University A declined, citing anger over the absence of the article The in Ohio State Universitys invitation and was replaced by Collin Tierney Community College of Law. Wait...uh, thats Boalt Law School C.
- Baylor University A declined, citing a newly instituted moratorium on extracurricular activities following a seldom-reported incident in which Brittney Griner allegedly hunted down and fed upon both Williams sisters, and was replaced by Team Prodigal.
- Vanderbilt A declined, citing a refusal to compete in an academic tournament featuring Duke, the Vandy of the ACC, and was replaced by the Georgia B of mock trial, Georgia B.
- Oregon A had every intention of competing at ANCT, but with no budget to finance flying, decided to make the trip overland. Half the team tragically perished after an ill-fated attempt to ford the river. The rest have died of dysentery. They were replaced at the last minute by ITT-Tech.
The two divisions of the Second Annual ANCT were named after a law firm and an individual who contributed as much to ANCT as anyone: nothing. The first division is the Young, Frutt, and Berluti division. The second division is the Billings Learned Hand division.
With the untimely expiration of the two AMTA reps that presided over last years coin flip, The Prague took inspiration from The Pragues World Cup counterpart. Oracle Paul Wiley the Octopus was unceremoniously and forthwith placed into a very large tank with several open feed bags strewn about, labeled with the teams. The first 12 teams that Oracle Paul Wiley the Octopus feasted upon (or at least the bags denoted as such) were placed in the Billings Learned Hand Division.
- Yale A
- Howard B
- Boalt Law School C
- Columbia A
- Prodigals A
- Tulane A
- Duke B
- UC-Irvine A
- Rhodes B
- Washington A
- UC-Santa Cruz A
- Penn State A
- Hamline A
- Drake A
- Roger Williams A
- ITT-Tech A
- Rutgers A
- Iowa A
The results from the rounds were as follows complete with analysis:
12) Boalt Law School C (0-7-1): Since the man who only smokes will not leave Perjuries alone, The Prague decided to allow the man who only smokes to continue to pester mock trial. Having graduated from one community college only to enroll in another, The Prague took pity on this previous All(ternative) American and allowed this law school to compete. A bunch of 1Ls and the man who only smokes did about as expected, winning half a ballot.
11) UC-Irvine A (1-7): He is a man of action. He is a man of honor. He is a man of duty. Unfortunately, he is not a man of two national tournaments.
10) Duke B (1-6-1): The Prague feels the need to correct a misnomer. The Duke team that won NCT was actually the team coached by Mike Krzyzewski and headed by Plumleeswho had a lot of time on their hands after an early exit from some other tournament. Alex Bluebonds team was competing here at ANCT. The Blue Devils fared about as well at ANCT as J. J. Reddick does at poetry, or Tucker Max does at tact.
9) Howard B (3-5): Howard was eager to compete at ANCT, just being happy to get away from D.C. for a while. Unfortunately, Toby J. Heytens curiously showed up to all four of their rounds. Toby J. Heytens especially enjoyed the round against Yale.
8) Yale A (4-4, CS: lower than Rhodes): Yale and Howard hit in a round that drew considerable attention in the AMTA community. Obviously the prospect of the racially insensitive team hitting Howard was fascinating to the AMTA masses. Though Yale has been fairly quiet the last few years, including zero appearances at NCT, Yale has been busy. Yale had set out to perfect Yales Race-Case, and the prospect of a mother district attorney charging a kid with her daughters murder seemed like the perfect case to unleash it. The stage was set and the action was sure to be intense. The bison were prepped and seemingly ready to stampede through their opponents, but what Yale threw at Howard, no one saw coming: reverse racism.
7) Rhodes B (4-4, CS: higher than Yale): With Michael Polovich finally not competing on Rhodes B (by the good graces of graduation only), the team would still not go away on Perjuries, but did on the national stage. Despite the ancient tales of their previous success in Des Moines, Rhodes had some struggles this time around. Rhodes worst adversary was not any team at (this years) ANCT. Rather, Rhodes struggled most with bad PR among the judging pool resulting mostly from a ski-mask-clad team that judges had previously seen. Between that and the pressure from high expectations professed by Josh Petersons latest video, the Lynx barely broke even at ANCT.
6) Prodigals A (4-3-1): In a move truly unsurprising to The Prague, AMTA sent a team to ANCT comprised of strange, amorphous beings called Prodigals (Prodigal Son, Prodigal Daughter, Prodigal Ginger Stepchild, Prodigal Drunk Uncle, The Earls Ox, Oracle of AMTA). AMTA created these various beings in an attempt to replace The Prague Gnostic Hater and cause the homeless, tempest tossed readers of Perjuries to forget about The Prague. At first, this team was entertaining and almost succeeded in fooling Perjuries (and judges at ANCT). Prodigal Son was able to spam information, but lacked any real depth. Prodigal Daughter came on strong, but ultimately asked too many questions and provided too little information. Prodigal Ginger disappeared quickly, and the Earls Ox and Oracle of AMTA were worthless through and through. Prodigal Drunk Uncle attempted to entertain and enlighten (much like a certain Prague The Prague knows), but Drunk Uncle drank himself to death by round 2, registering a BAC of .39. In the end, despite a strong start, this team was unable to make it to the final round of ANCT and distract Perjuries from The Prague. It was clear that AMTA was willing to go to great lengths to silence The Prague.
5) UC-Santa Cruz A (5-3): UC-Santa Cruz came out slugs blazing with a 4-0 start. But after day one, Patrick OConnor mysteriously disappeared. He was next seen banging on the door of the Taco Bell drive-thru window at 4:00 in the morning accompanied by one Jonathon Hartsfield, who happened to be in Des Moines for some inexplicable reason. Santa Cruzs opponents in rounds 3 and 4 took note, coaxing OConnor into a bear trap with a trail of peculiar brownie batter to keep him from competing. Without their shining white knight, the banana slugs fell to finish 1-3.
4) Washington A (5-2-1): Being one of the bigger named teams to not reach NCT this year made Washington a contender to win ANCT. Despite the huskies talent and experience, inter-team conflict would be their downfall. Both of the Crown brothers insisted on giving both opening statements. Unfortunately, there could only be one opening to woo them all. With the team members split evenly among their fellowship, Washingtons wizard of the coach ultimately had to decide which Crown was more precious. Of course, one does not simply take up one Crown over the other and expect no repercussions. Taking sides opened more doors to conflict, and the brothers fought betwixt themselves all tournament, until the rest of the team got fed up enough to throw them both into a nearby volcano.
3) Columbia A (6-2, CS: lower than Tulane): Certain members of Columbia A (Koenig, Batmanglij, Tomson, and Baio) spent the Friday through Sunday before ANCT preparing for the tournament by watching entire seasons of True Blood, followed by Twilight when the team became desperate for material. While doing their best to pretend that they never want to see the emblematic Buchanan Vines again, Columbia took center stage with a great 4-0 start. Apparently Columbia is cursed with déjà vu, and Vines is too alluring. The talented ensemble helped Columbia to a 4-0 start, but then left on a whim to visit Vines at Marthas Vineyard to plan a yachting trip to get out of Cape Cod. Fortunately for Columbia, since the A team was attending ANCT, the lions had just enough talent to split rounds 3 and 4 to eke out a 6-2 finish.
2) Tulane A (6-2, CS: higher than Columbia): Taking inspiration from the NFL, AMTA recently started suspending teams for bounty programs. Sean Payton, anxious to prove to Roger Goodell that he is a good person, seized this opportunity to coach in another league that punished for bounties and run a clean team. Payton took over at Tulane, and with Greg Williams heading up the defense with Jonathan Vilma as point man they featured the most ferocious defense seen at this tournament, winning every ballot. Unfortunately, they couldnt find a short, balding man to score points on the other side and lacked the balance to compete with UGA, dropping both in round 4. Unconfirmed rumor has it there is a $10,000 NOT-bounty on Ethan Tracys head. Apparently he is worth as much as Brett Favre.
1) UGA A (7-1) UGA A showed up to ANCT still drunk from UGAs post-ORCs pity party. Through sheer inebriation the bulldogs found a completely new stylerelaxed, understated, and most importantly, sometimes quiet. The Prague could exhaustively list every drink the team consumed between ORCs and ANCT, but that might take longer than 9 minutes. It suffices to say that when it came to sobriety, Danny Dawson ranked no higher than sixth drunkest person in every round. Brandon Amy ranked first in all of them, ending every speech with, ITS GREEAT TO BEE A BORGIA DULLGOG!
12) UGA B (0-8): Stubbornness abounds for UGA B. Apparently UGA B was still insisting on trying Gilbertson v. The Everest Experience. UGA B had made one substantive change to UGA Bs case theory. The bulldogs were now arguing that the mother who owned the Everest Experience had it out for Gilbertson. After losing every round because UGA B was (still) trying the wrong case, Lauren Lutton was quoted as saying we give up. We are never trying this f*cking case again. Upon being informed that next years case would be Gilbertson but set underwater, Lutton remarked, scuba diving? Goddammit.
11) Roger Williams (1-7): Roger Williams reached Perjuries fame thanks to some girl named Kate Dumeer. This fame on the tiny screen never translated to tangible success in the courtroom. The hawks were eager to prove themselves at ANCT, with Ms. Dumeer ready for a close-up. Unfortunately, they flopped among critics and judges, winning only a single ballot from some judge named Armond White.
10) Iowa A (2-5-1): Will Mattessich is not Garrett Burrell. That is the single saddest sentence The Prague has ever written.
9) UAB B (3-5): Grady Lowman likes to compete in mock trial. Crestfallen that Lowman finally used up the last year of AMTA eligibility, Lowman commandeered the B team at ANCT, and immediately began conducting captains meetings outside. At first it seemed as though Lowmans tactic was meant to throw off other teams before rounds. It didnt take long for everyone to discover its true purpose, and Lowman was suspended for a rulebook violation: intentionally destroying or defacing his own lungs after attempting to clear a carton of Marlboro Lights as a demonstrative aid in round 3. After losing their star, the blazers crumbled to finish 3-5.
8) CCCCC A (3-4-1, CS: lower than ITT-Tech): CCCCC has been on the edge of glory for quite some time, scrapping for every point at ORCs but never quite breaking through to NCT. Last year, CCCCC hosted the first annual ANCT, but chose not to compete. This year CCCCC changed their mind. Of course, this wasnt all CCCCC changed. This one-time community college has finally forsaken the community. After years of quickly cycling through potential mock trial superstars, CCCCC realized that two-year careers were not long enough to fully groom these star-studded prospects. At the request of the mock trial program, the board of directors dropped one of the Cs and added two more years of edumacation. The results so far have been impressive, including an All-ORC and All (ternative) American Award for Chris Arnell. The Prague considered honoring CCCCCs name change in this post, but its current nickname remains too iconic and easy to pronounce.
7) ITT-Tech A (3-4-1, CS: higher than CCCCC): International Telephone & Telegraph Technical Institute did not show up to ANCT with a mock trial team, but rather 6 sales representatives attempting to sell publicly traded shares of its for-profit corporation. The ballots ITT-Tech won can be attributed to bored judges who appreciated the change of pace, and the fact that the sales reps never once mentioned Danny Dawson. Paranoid about having to deal with competition in a potential applicant pool, agents from Thomas M. Cooley Law School quickly rounded up ITT-Techs team, locked them in a room with computers, and forced them to blog about Cooleys exceptional 2nd place ranking for the rest of the tournament. In short, Karma is not a nice lady.
6) MTSU B (4-4): Jon Vile really outdid John Viles self this time. Instead of the usual American flag or noble bald eagle tie, Vile kidnapped Lee Greenwood and stapled the man to the front of Viles collar. However, Vile deemed defending a drunkard like Danny Dawson to be wholly unAmurican, and the blue raiders lost all 4 defense ballots after trying their prosecution case in those rounds as well.
5) Rutgers A (4-3-1): Learning from the mistakes of Don Imus, Twitter, and Court TV, The Prague is not touching this one with a 10-foot pole.
4) Bowling Green State A (5-3): Uriah Harrell, sporting an American flag lapel pin, shouted, yelled, chest thumped, screamed, and ALEX-BLOCK-impersonated his way to Perjuries fame this year. Unfortunately, like so many other one-hit-wonder chest-thumpers, Harrell was unable to get his team back to NCT this year, so Harrell had to settle for ANCT. Though the falcons performed well overall, Harrell met his match when facing MTSU. Overcome with jealousy over Viles neck-ware, Uriah threw a temper tantrum and collapsed into a Heep. Apparently, Harrell did not like being upstaged by anyone, even a coach.
3) Hamline A (6-2): After a ceremonial yet painfully prominent presence at NCT, the pipers were ecstatic to actually compete at their own tournament. This exuberance naturally led to the creation of another video. This time Josh Peterson dressed up as a gay pirate, rapping Rico Suave in its entirety. While this move galvanized Hamline to dominate their first 3 rounds, it had unexpected consequences, sending their round 4 competitors over the edge.
2) Drake A (7-1): Drake have hosted many an NCT, but have not made it to competition in recent years. Finally able to enjoy Drakes home field advantage, Drake largely swept through the first three rounds. But hearing Hamline complain about Hamlines hosting plight can only be compared to Medgar Evers hearing Rodney King complain about discrimination. The sight of Josh Petersons sensual performance as Gerardo finally sent Drake over the edge. Set to hit Hamline in round 4, the bulldogs pulled billy clubs out of their tripod bags and proceeded to viciously beat their opponents to death in the middle of the well. The judges, having also seen the video, found it a convincing case theory.
1) Penn State (8-0): Penn State had a unique advantage at ANCT, keeping competitors fresh through the use of constant substitutions from Penn States bench. Penn State A handled the prosecution case-in-chief, while Penn State B handled the cross examinations. Penn State C took the prosecution openings while Penn State D took the closings. Penn State C handled Penn States defense case in chief, while Penn State D handled the cross examinations. Penn State A did the defense openings, while Penn State B handled the closings. Since the nittany lions finished 8-0, the only conclusion The Prague could reach is that all of Penn States teams were, in fact, equal in talent and ability. How about that.
And there it was. The final stage was set: UGA versus Penn State. After the four rounds had wrapped up, The Prague had learned much about AMTA, the previous ANCT, and the events of the past year that caused The Prague to go into hiding. However, there was still much to be learned, and many questions left unanswered.
The most glaring anomaly was Jimmy Cool and Kris Lyons. How Lyons had done the live draw this year? The Prague knew Lyons, along with Cool (and Prescott Ooms), was still dead. The Prague had seen their egos both bestride this narrow world to find themselves dishonorable graves.
Another inconsistency was the upcoming case. Last year, the criminal case committee had taken the time to write one themselves. This year, the civil case committee simply used an old case. This made no sense, especially since the civil case committee is headed by taskmaster Toby J. Heytens.
Since The Prague was already in Iowa, the obvious next move was to infiltrate 2700 Westtown Parkway, Suite 410, West Des Moines. After coordinating a series of break ins, taping the door locks and placing wiretaps, the Prague found nothing but a huge stack of DVDs surrounding the mummified remains of Dick Calkins.
Though the information from the wiretaps was laden with profanity and heavily redacted, The Prague was able to piece together several inconvenient truths. AMTA had labeled The Prague a freedom fighter. Apparently, AMTA believed that since The Prague had reported on ANCT, The Prague wanted to bring down AMTA in favor of a new Colossus to rule the world of mock trial.
As it turns out, AMTA had dispatched the civil case committee to do its bidding, issuing an ultimatum to hunt The Prague down and bring an end to the Pragues supremacy. Given such a herculean task, Toby J. Heytens dedicated full resources to it. This explained why there was no time for giving AMTA a new case next year; everyone was being used to hunt down The Prague. Once the committee had discovered The Prague Identity, Toby J. Heytens had sent his top agent Glen Halva-Jackbauer, armed with a high-powered rifle fitted with a scope, to end The Prague that fateful day last summer.
As for the ghostly reappearance of Kris Lyons, AMTA had created realistic hologram technology to make it seem as though Lyons was alive and well, sporting a bow-tie and staging the live draw for all to see. This technology was later sold and used to similarly resurrect Tupac Shakur.
The Prague had uncovered the ugly truth, but still needed to spread the information to the unsuspecting mockers nationwide. With the final round competitors set in place, The Prague had a plan in mind: to educate the two finalists on everything that had been happening and attempt to convince UGA and Penn State to weave this information into the round. The word would get out because The Prague had negotiated broadcasting rights with ESPN 8.5, The Ocho-Cinco, to ensure that the truth would reach the masses. In order to tell UGA and Penn State everything, The Prague needed more time, and had to create a distraction.
The All-American round was eschewed by AMTA years ago, as round after round had devolved into a tale told by 12 idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The round had never accomplished much or amused many, but reinstating it could buy The Prague more time.
In an effort to avoid offending actual mock trial judges, The Prague took judge selection about as seriously as the competitors would likely take the round. First, The Prague was able to lure Kerry Collins out of retirement with a handle of rye. Metta World Peace was also brought in to preside over objections. Finally, Matthew Stafford was slated to judge, but was intercepted midair on the way to Des Moines and was replaced, to the great relief of the Washington Nationals (who desperately needed the respite) with Bryce Harper.
The All-American round was all set to begin, but the roster was missing one person. The night before, Des Moines animal control found a strange creature buried in a dumpster behind the Taco Bell where OConnor and Hartsfield were banging on the window in utter futility mere feet away. The creature had a grey and black striped tail, dark circles around the eyes, and was rooting through the garbage for food scraps. Mistaking said creature for a large raccoon (and its frothing attempt to communicate as a telltale sign of rabies), Des Moines animal control captured the poor beast and euthanized it. It wasnt until it was too late that they found the collar around the creatures neck. It read: Hi, my name is BEN WALLACE. If found, please call GREG SIEGEL at 202-5555.
As the round started, a spectator asked is that Ben Wallace sitting as Dawson at the defense table? NOPE. Chuck Testa. Once called, Greg Siegel made sure that the creature found in the dumpster would make it to the All-American round one way or another. Naturally, the answer lay (as it so often does) in taxidermy. Brought in for the sole purpose of playing Wallace, Iain Lampert was seen rigging up a system of puppet strings on the husk of what was once Wallace before the round, but Lampert became distracted when Lampert began facebook friending every spectator in the gallery and their extended family members. Sans puppeteer, Wallace conveyed around the usual level of emotion throughout the round, leading to the aforementioned confusion.
This confusion was only exacerbated by the presence of Thomas Cull, who, though not taxidermized, puppet-stringed, or dead, was mistaken for a wax figure several times throughout the round. When asked by witness David Weber to convey any level of passion in his opening above reptilian, Cull tersely replied, Im sorry Dave, Im afraid I cant do that. Their conversation ended on good terms, with Webers domo arigato.
Set to open against Cull was ALEX BLOCK, whose speech was measured at just over 194 decibels. Before the round, Miami had to bail ALEX BLOCK out of jail following an arrest for verbally assaulting dozens of walls around Des MoinesALEX BLOCK raised an affirmative defense of public necessity, arguing that if ALEX BLOCK rehearsed ALEX BLOCKS opening in front of a mirror, the glass would shatter. With a court-mandated gag order (independent of content) pending approval, ALEX BLOCK delivered his opening at the All-American round on schedule. Halfway through it however, Pavel Gurevich had enough and snapped, silencing ALEX BLOCK with a sleeper hold and dragging ALEX BLOCKs limp body out of the courtroom, never to be seen again. Rumor has it that Premier Gurevich sent ALEX BLOCK to a remote camp in Siberia. On clear nights, one can still hear ALEX BLOCKs cries echo in the north wind: SOMEONE STILL LOVES ME BORIS YELTSIN?
Apparently AMTA not only excels at attracting non-human life forms, AMTA can breed them as well. Brandon Hughes refused to have any directing attorney but Brandon Hughes, and refused to have any witness to direct but Brandon Hughes. While most remained skeptical that Brandon Hughes could be so good as to pull off Attorney Brandon Hughes directing Witness Brandon Hughes, AMTA never worried. It turns out that Brandon Hughes is so good at everything because Brandon Hughes is begotten not made, of one being with the AMTA, who spawned Hughes in a test-tube with the intention of creating the ultimate mocking machine. This sinister project had only one purpose: distract mockers everywhere. AMTAs previous attempt at gene-splicing, Corelous Bryant, initially showed promise but suffered a nervous breakdown and, at last report, is still crying in front of cameras.
It turns out that even the most ultimate of mocking machines cannot entertain Kerry Collins more than hard liquor. Before ALEX BLOCKs opening had been finished for him, Collins had already downed the entire bottle of rye. When Hughes began performing, by himself, Marius Petipas most famous Pas de Deux (in lieu of a real direct examination), the entire peanut gallery was, as usual, in a trance. Collins, however, wasnt even able to remain conscious. Left with no more booze, Collins merely passed out. This simple act of alcoholism caused all hell to break loose. Metta World Peace threw a violent elbow, Krav Maga style, to the back of Collins skull. World Peace claimed this act was only intended to keep Collins awake out of respect for the competitors. Instead, it caused an all-out brawl to ensue. Patrick Wixson and Yancy Cobb began strangling each other over the last piece of pie, while Liam McCabe, who made the mistake of wearing a bow-tie to the round, was beaten to death with a ballpeen hammer. Bryce Harper was the only judge left keeping score at this point and elected to give everyone a 1 to ensure that no one thought that they could be better than THE Bryce Harper. When Harpers ballot was returned for leaving off all ranks, Harper filled out every spot with Bryce Harper.
All in all, The Prague feels that the All-American round went a bit better than expected. During the melee, The Prague informed UGA and Penn State of AMTAs nefarious plot to erase all traces of ANCT and anyone who got in the way. The final round would soon begin, and instead of seeing Danny Dawson one more time, spectators would learn the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
UGA A v. PENN STATE A, B, C, & D
Taking position to view the final round, The Prague was horrified to see an empty courtroom, with no trace of the UGA or Penn State competitors
It turns out that AMTA decided that you, Perjuries, cant handle the truth, and had gotten to them first, locking UGA A in the basement with several dozen boxes of Franzia and not much to do. The team was found after a few hours by Des Moines animal control, who, based on the noises coming from the basement, thought they were busting an illegal dog-fighting ring. AMTA reps arrived on the scene soon after, and, feigning surprise at the situation, banned the entire team for another year.
The fate of the entire Penn State mock trial program is much more grim and unclear. While UGA had been previously punished for mere alcohol abuse, Penn State had been sanctioned for committing an unforgivable sin in the eyes of AMTA: tampering with team rosters in a program coached by someone other than Toby J. Heytens. That, on top of Penn States intention to expose AMTAs prior bad acts in the ANCT final round, must have led to a grisly punishment about which the Prague can only speculate.
The courthouse was searched to no avail. Des Moines held no trace of the nittany lions at all. Even the locker rooms back at Penn State (which are now under heavy surveillance for some reason) were empty.
For these reasons, the final round of ANCT, once again, did not take place. Two seasons in and ANCT still has had no actual winner. Since the truth about AMTA never came out in the round, The Prague was forced to create this affidavit, telling you, Perjuries, everything The Prague has learned in this last years travels and perils. Though AMTA charades as an innocuous non-profit, AMTA acts as a power-hungry, cutthroat organization, silencing dissent, quashing competition, and eliminating anyone who stands in AMTAs way.
Though AMTA has fought valiantly, The Prague has persevered. Though The Prague has further risked The Pragues safety by creating this affidavit and spreading the truth, deep down The Prague takes comfort in knowing that those who have made it this far will also be willing to find The Prague, to join and fight. The Prague is waiting, lamp lifted beside the golden door.
Though we may never know the fate of Penn State at the hands of AMTA, the Prague leaves you with the only clue they left. Carved into one of the counsel tables in the courtroom that was set to house the ANCT final round reads an epitaph of sorts, the last testament of the vanquished competitors of Penn State:
Alone to despair. Alone to blame. Alone to cry.
___________/s PGH________
Prague Gnostic Hater
Subscribed and sworn before me on this 18th of June, 2012.
___________/s EL________
Emma Lazarus


text:
GDB/GDFD 59: La bataille d'Alberta
February 21 2009 12:47PM
Yeah, so you might say this is a biggie for us.
Wanye Gretz: Ever since our crew personally oversaw the invention of the written word, electricity, hockey, the internet and finally both nations we have had one goal on the horizon. One goal that was so much in the forefront of everyone's mind that bingofuel actually broke up with his girlfriend this week to make sure nothing distracted him.
For the first time in the 6 billion-year history of the Earth, Oilers fans and Flames fans can come somewhere and chirp at one another during a Battle of Alberta game.
Now just like when playing nude Jenga there are rules here too. No male on male accidental contact for starters. No personal attacks, profanity laced tirades or other offside nonsensery if you please. Is this because we are boring? No. It's because if we don't have some rules of engagement we will probably start a war that will eventually end in Red Deer with Kent W and Willis brawling with Klingon Bat-leths over who has the ability to really lay claim to the last initial "W." But funny/witty commentary? Oh yeah. Pointing out the obvious like the fact that Calgary turned it's back on all forms of cerebral logic and signed Todd Bertuzzi? Good to go.
And so now I hand it to our colleagues at FlamesNation and see a Wanye Life Dream™ fulfilled. Next to achieve? Three-way with Natalie Portman and Carrie Underwood.
I have waited for this day for over two years!!!!!! -WG
TLP: Man, I love Battle of Alberta games. The rivalry, the drama, the easiest two points Calgary will earn all season. It's just magical.
Now, I don't know how many Oiler fans mosey over to FlamesNation to check out what Kent and I have to say (it's all really great, believe me!), but since this is being posted on both sides of "The Nation," I will make certain concessions to our neighbors to the north, namely first explaining myself in a normal way, then dumbing it way, way down for all you clods that can't get a job in a real city that people want to live in.
Now, let's be honest with ourselves and say that the Oilers have been going through a bit of a rough patch the past few years in terms of players not wanting to come to your city or stay there, a general manager that was widely regarded as "borderline retarded," and a coach who lost his team three months ago and still, somehow, has a job. (Trans.: Edmonton bad! Players hate! Lowe dumdum! Coach mean!)
Meanwhile, Calgary (you might know it by its other name: Not-Loserville) has had its cup run over with success and happiness. Players want to come here, Darryl Sutter makes good decisions, and Mike Keenan.. well, at least he's not Jim Playfair. (Trans.: Everyone like! Big wins! Fun times! Happy all day no sad!)
We at FlamesNation understand that you're probably a fan of the Oilers because of, say, the 1980s. Can't blame you. We know it's hard not to root for a winner. But guys, the 1980s were like 30 years ago almost! It's time to start living in the here and now. And if you want, we'll even take you in down here if you're among Edmonton's best and brightest. We've been looking for someone to clean up all the stables down at the Stampede Grounds anyway. (Trans.: Cup Days gone! Flames fan good! Sweep poop yes?)
Seriously though, the Flames are going to annihilate you.
All my love, TLP
Kent W: At the conclusion of George Orwell's 1984, Protagonist Winston Smith comes to the realization that he loves his nemesis - the State. I think that's about where I'm at with the Oilers these days, although I come by affection more honestly: there was no room 101 or psychological torture required - I just honestly enjoy watching the Oilers play.
I love watching Dustin Penner lumber around. It always brings a smile to my face to think of the draft picks it required to grab him, or his absurd $4.25M/year albatross of a contract.
I giggle when I see the 'C' on Ethan Moreau's chest. It gives me pleasure to check the Oilers ever-full injury list. I laugh whenever I remember that Jeff Drouin-Deslasarasrfasdfsadfasdrsdfs is the only goalie the club has signed through next year.
The negative goal differential, the constantly being outshot, the worse than average special teams, Kevin Lowe's comb-over; I love it all. MacTavish's post game press-conferences are frequently delightful. Zach Stortini's cartoonish countenance and laughable "fighting" style - it's all good. Oh, and thanks for Curtis Glencross by the way...
I think what I love most, however, is the continued mediocrity. Edmonton doesn't suck like, say, the Islanders or the Thrashers. There's always the faint possibility of making the play-offs on the horizon for the Oilers. That chance, however slim, like the distant scent of baking bread to the staring, drives the organization stumbling forward each off-season and trade deadline, salivating and half crazed, desperate for the taste of success.
As such, they're never a big threat to get any better. To take the big leap. Like a hopeless junkie, the Oilers never seem to reach their "bottom" so there's never any real chance of a recovery. Blow it up and start anew? Move veterans for draft picks? It's hard to do when 8th in the conference is spitting distance away, isn't it?
It won't bother me if the Flames lose this evening. Calgary is 12 points up on Edmonton and have little to gain by a victory. Edmonton, on the other hand, can scratch closer to the final play-off spot and move another step nearer to becoming a buyer at the trade deadline. And I would love that too.
It's win-win for me tonight gents. Im going to crack a beer and cheer for every single goal that's scored.
Sincerely, Kent Wilson
There isn't much in our PP beyond the big slapper from Souray.
February 21 2009, 09:23PM
i'm not seeing the same toughness from the team that i saw in the last two games... i'm hoping it's discipline because they're up a goal
Cory Dakin wrote:
i'm not seeing the same toughness from the team that i saw in the last two games… i'm hoping it's discipline because they're up a goal
We lost the last two games.
Calgary isn't playing near as well as I thought they would, although this game doesn't mean as much to them as it does to us. I love these little glimmers of hope this team gives you.
No call on McIntyre? Usually a glove in the face is roughing.
Horcoff missing a gimme. *facepalm*
February 21 2009, 09:29PM
@ David S: We may have lost on the scoreboard, but in the MacTavish school of coaching I believe those are what we would call moral victories. They had a lot of "jam".
Iggy! And Sarich! Cripes, Sarich looks like he knows what he's doing on offense.
February 21 2009, 09:31PM
Little help here. I'm up by the blueline.
February 21 2009, 09:36PM
when gio comes back, maybe sarich should take a turn on the wing... :P
Sarich has 6 points in the last 7 games. That's including 3 points in Phoenix, but still.
February 21 2009, 09:40PM
Marc Crawfordisms:
Rolofson = Roloson
Parrish = Sarich
Igimla = Iginla
Gagner = Hemsky
February 21 2009, 09:45PM
crawford is godawful, to be sure...
Edmonton fans calling for a lifetime suspension for Greentree in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .
February 21 2009, 10:04PM
That was THE WORST 5 on 3 evahhh!
It would be nice to have a certain level of confidence your team was going to win.
Or at least so I hear.
February 21 2009, 10:09PM
David S wrote:
It would be nice to have a certain level of confidence your team was going to win. Or at least so I hear.
I know a guy who cheers for the Red Wings...I'll ask him.
So uhhh...where's Gretz?
February 21 2009, 10:24PM
i think that moss-on-boyd collision was in attempt to shut marc crawford up
You have GOT to be f*cking kidding.
February 21 2009, 10:27PM
Cory Dakin wrote:
Under a minute to go in the period.. Prime time for the oilers to give up a goal.. Prove me wrong boys.. Prove me wrong
I said that way back in the first period.. And now I really wish I hadn't said it at all
Curse you Cory Dakin.
I'll have to check the posts up above, but I thought you were all claiming that Calgary was the "choke" team.
Seriously, though, that was a beautiful shot by Lombardi. I'm glad his SH% is finally going up. He's earned it.
Nice try Nogoalov!
February 21 2009, 10:39PM
hey, do you think roloson will tell crawford how to pronounce his name, on after hours ??
I can only hope so. Crawford doesn't sound like the brightest bulb most of the time. I don't know why no one's corrected him yet. I heard a few "Alex Hemsky"s too.
Good win by the Flames. We get the two points, we keep Vancouver looking backwards. I thought our play actually didn't look too bad, for our first game after all the bad news. And I like the Bertuzzi-Lundmark-Greentree line, mostly because it kept Bert's minutes down, and presumably kept him away from the tougher opponents.
For the Oilers, Horcoff really impressed me. He's noticeably faster than most players, and he owned the faceoffs tonight. He was out there for 32 out of 52 faceoffs, and he won 23 of the them. That's 44% of the total faceoffs. That's remarkable.
I'll bet he's gone by the trade deadline.
February 21 2009, 10:51PM
March Crayford.
February 21 2009, 10:53PM
Game Story:
the gawd damn ice is a friggen disgrace.
February 21 2009, 10:54PM
3 pretty decent shootout guys for the Oil and no shots on net. Brutal.
February 21 2009, 11:02PM
We suck so bad I'm beyond speech. F...!!!!!
February 21 2009, 11:03PM
@ The Towel Boy:
even Cammaleri lost the handle in the shootout. The puck was sticking to the ice.
That was a pretty terrible last minute, OT, then shootout. Over and over the oilers have "fake hustle" on the backcheck. They look like they're backchecking, but never actually pick up a man. They wasted their powerplay chance with cute drop passes at the blue line, which no other team does as often or as poorly as the oilers. Also, how do you not even get a shot off in the shootout. Seriously, do they think kovalchuk and ovechkin score tons of goals by being cute? No way. They hammer the puck on net whenever they get near it. A big reason why the oilers lack a real goal scorer besides Souray.
I'm at the point of actually looking forward to MacT's litany of excuses. I expect we will hear that the Oil actually won this game everywhere but the scoreboard. Maybe there should be an award for this re-writing of history. Maybe the all-world excuse award could be called 'The Tavie' award for telling a bald faced lie right after a loss and doing it on video.
Looks like they didn't do the MacT "live" postgame presser on the Oilers site tonight. I wouldn't doubt it if he hung himself immediately after the game.
We at Flamesnation.ca will now begin accepting your humblest apologies.
Good game or whatever but the good guys (and by that I clearly mean "good team") won.
How did it feel to lose to the better (read: best) Northwest team?
@ TLP: Better team, I dont think so man, more consistant, yes. The Flames didn't play that greast, but the Oilers played terrible the final 40 minutes. I mean someone has to take Lombardi on that last goal, but than again it wouldn't be the Oilers if they actually picked up a man on the backcheck.
Apologize, no dice, I will say one thing about the Flames, as much as I hate them, they do pay better attention to details and show a higher commitment level to making plays than the Oilers do.
That said..... Calgary still sucks!!!!
February 22 2009, 12:37AM
Brent G:
You mentioned people dying young in Edmonton...
I take it you either live under a rock or spend too much time reading about the Flames, otherwise you might be aware of the weekly shooting/stabbing death going on in Calgary.
Boston? If you think living there is better than either Calgary or Edmonton then you have lost all credibility. Sorry, but that's what comes with preferring to live among Sox fans.
February 22 2009, 12:44AM
Eat Sh.. and die TLP. I'm not sure if I can be anymore politically correct than that. Is that rude?
Bert's one handed game winner was a beauty.
February 22 2009, 02:20AM
@ Sabby: Bert really has become quite a clutch player this year. When the game is on the line I want the puck on his stick because he invariably makes the right call. Thats not to say he doesnt annoy the hell out of me other times but I'd say he was good value.
PLEASE dont let Moss be hurt. The depth charts are running a little thin at the moment.
So where were all you Flames guys during the game?
@ David S: Laptops and wireless routers must be a luxary only available in "Siberia".
Brent G. wrote:
I mean you Oiler fans love to talk about the "likely" first round exit but you cant really tell me any of you actually are that confident it'll happen;
Historically there is a definate pattern. If the Flames had more talent than Detroit; they would probably find a way to lose in the first round. It's cute how you guys assume the Oiler fans here will be insulted when you take a swipe at MacT or Lowe. We do it all the time! I've been an Oiler fan through the good years and the bad. I watched in person as MacT scored a hat trick on Saddledome ice! The thing is... The Oilers have fans. True fans. We are not bound to one roster. We commit beyond one season. We didn't all arrive after a ten year absence because of one improbable cup run. Talk your smack. Success comes in cycles... Too bad none of you Flames fans will stick around when the tides have reversed.
David S wrote:
So where were all you Flames guys during the game?
Watching it with the loved ones we have. We don't live in our parent's basements with a TV and laptop as our only friends, unlike the pleasant folks up north.
The Towel Boy wrote:
Marc Crawfordisms: Rolofson = Roloson Parrish = Sarich Igimla = Iginla Gagner = Hemsky
he is terrible on the mic.
February 22 2009, 09:38AM
Questions I want answered.... Who was the left winger on the tying goal and where the hell was he? Why didn't MacBlow have them trapping it up? Who was the D-man that had the brain cramp changing with 6 seconds left? Did he change on his own or was Chuddy yelling at him to change? Or, why even, were they changing? Why are most of the goals on Roli going in high on the glove side? And lastly, why does our Media not ask any of these questions?? All I hear are the same old BS answers from MacBlow and (can't) Scorcoff!!
February 22 2009, 10:26AM
David S wrote:
So where were all you Flames guys during the game?
I had a place to be. It sounded like most of us did. I went to this party thingy
February 22 2009, 10:37AM
Brent G. wrote:
David S wrote: So where were all you Flames guys during the game? I had a place to be. It sounded like most of us did. I went to this party thingy
Otherwise known as a Star Trek convention.
February 22 2009, 10:44AM
I was at the game last night. Flames fans where surprisingly quiet after the game. I think it was either "wow, how the hell did we win that?" or "We best be quiet because these Edmonton folks are just mad enough to kill...again". Either way it was a good game. Very sad to see Gagner leave the puck behind in the shoot-out. So much for the best ice in the league...
On another note, there's one thing Oilers and Flames fans share. Besides the wild rose plates. It's an undying hatred for the Canucks. What have they ever won? Really? They are the worst bunch of fans in the league. You'd swear they've got 39 straight cup wins under their belts. Rather than 38 years of nothing...
February 22 2009, 11:20AM
442Junkie wrote:
On another note, there's one thing Oilers and Flames fans share. Besides the wild rose plates. It's an undying hatred for the Canucks.
While I do hate the Canucks a lot I would much rather watch them win than the Oilers. It seems to me that Flames and Canuck fans alike are on the same page of throwing salt in the wounds of Oiler fans and laughing as they dwiddle the season away.
February 22 2009, 11:53AM
Does anyone remember the extrodinary story of Mirwais Pashtun from Kandahar Afghanistan? Young Mirwais liked to hang around the main Nato Air Field near Kandahar and amaze Canadian soldiers with his incredible street hockey stick handling skills. Mirwais was so incredibly skilled that he was featured on hockey Night In Canada four years ago and was presented with rollerblades by Master Corporal Jeff Lesarde. When Mirwais again impressed homesick Canadians soldiers during the weekly roller hockey tournament it was arranged that he could learn to properly skate at the only ice arena in all of Afghanistan located near Kabul. Years later, Mirwais, now eighteen, is Afgahnistan's only legitimate hockey superstar; And as such, was invited over to a Hockey development camp at the Saddledome. Mirwais was pleased to have the unigue oppertunity to skate with the likes of Mickail Backlund, and Daniel Ryder. Excited, after a scrimmage where he deked out a future NHLer to score a goal, Mirwais called his mother to share the good news, "Mom. You will not believe my good fortune. The Flames appreciate my skills and may invite me to main Camp!" "Son while you were wasting your time on a silly sheet of ice, your father was arrested on truped up charges, your sister was molested on the street, and your brother who tried to help was severely beaten... and it is all your fault!" "Mother. This is terrible news. But please explain how this is all my fault." "Well son... You're the selfish little welp that forced us all to move to Calgary in the first place!"


text:
Veldene "Hoot" Austin Kenreck, 74, Henderson, Ky., died 6:05 a.m. Friday, Dec. 21, 2012, in Evansville, Ind.
Funeral services are 2 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 23, 2012, at Hardin County Funeral Services, Rose-Gilbert Funeral Home. Visitation is 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Saturday.
She is survived by a sister, brother, three nephews, a niece, two great-nephews, two great-nieces, five aunts and two uncles.
Location, ST | website.com


text:
If the Armani Jeans Fall/Winter 2011-12 catalogue is any indicator to what the upcoming season is going to be like, then don't worry about the cold weather—it is still going to be a hot one! Julie Saner shows how great denim can make you look (topless or not!), as well as all the other options they have of knits, outerwear, tees, and blouses. The catalogue displays an aura of sophistication that is perfect for the workplace, a day out in the city, or the hustle of an ivy-league campus. Armani Jeans makes sure you have plenty of options to match with your favorite denim piece—we're dying to get our hands on thatdenim skirt and fur/leather jacket combo ourselves!
[nggallery id=429]
[nggallery id=428]
Images via Fashion Gone Rogue.
—Elyssa Linden
Tags: Armani Jeans, blouses, denim skirt, Fall 2011, Julia Saner, knits, Outerwear, tees, Winter 2012


text:
These casual-cool Les Jardins De Paris denim espadrilles for men are a breathe of fresh among the slew of fall shoes currently hitting the market. And, okay, though they're technically from spring 2011 you can totally sport them now and bit more into the fall season. If you want to stray away from the major heavy and chunky shoe trend that's going on, then these kicks are definitely for you. They will go perfectly with a pair of cool tan cords or khakis, an on-trend plaid shirt, and a cool leather jacket.
—Sandoval Gomez
Tags: casual denim shoes for men, denim espadrilles, denim shoes, Les Jardins De Paris, spring shoes for fall, spring styles for fall


text:
Yellow Box Shawna Wedge Sandal
Sorry, this item is sold out!
Looks like you've got more shoe shopping to do - have fun!
Looks like you've got more shoe shopping to do - have fun!
Item # 265193
The sun won't be the only thing shining! The Yellow Box Shawna flip flop has beautiful beading sure to make your style and sandals sparkle.
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- Imported
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Everyone has an opinion. Here's your chance to share yours! Be the first to write a review of this product and help your fellow shoppers pick the best of the best.


text:
Authoritative compendium of statistics from the National Center for Education Statistics, provides a wealth of statistical information on education at all levels and from multifarious government perspectives. Topics in the Digest include: the number of schools and colleges; teachers; enrollments; graduates; educational attainment; finances; federal funds for education; employment and income of graduates; libraries; technology; and international comparisons.
Classic Catalog | OhioLINK | Lane Public | WorldCat |
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Research by Subject |
Databases A-Z
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Miami University Directory
4th Annual Album of Year Poll Winner - Beyonce's Lemonade
Albums not Available on Spotify
Zines in the Community
I Heart Reading: New February Leisure Titles


text:
A premium neutral trainer featuring a full length Air unit for impact protection, the Nike Air Max+ 2013 offers maximum cushioning and a semi-soft ride.
Crank the cushioning to the max with the Nike Air Max+ 2013. Featuring a full length Air platform for unparalleled shock absorption, this neutral trainer is built to soak up the ground. Add in a seamless and breathable upper that provides a dynamic fit, and you've got yourself a solid high mileage shoe.
Model Number:
Weight: 12.8 oz (size 9)
Stack Height: Heel (34mm), Forefoot (20mm)
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How It Fits (based on width D)
The Air Max+ 2013 is a maximum feature, moderate neutral premium shoe designed for high mileage and daily training. This shoe is Nike+ sensor compatible.
Be the first to write a review for this product!Write a Review


text: We're starting to think Justin Bieber has a person on his payroll specifically to seek out the newest goofy plastic glasses on the market. (Or maybe his swagger coach multitasks?) The crazy kid is always wearing a new pair! It's cool though, because he has so many disguises: Sometimes he's a geek, sometimes a dapper gentlemen, and sometimes a 40-year-old female costume designer from Hoboken, New Jersey. We wonder what will happen if Justin ever actually needs prescription eyewear.


text:
Republican Danny Stroud is challenging eight-term incumbent Congresswoman Diana DeGette to represent District 1 in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Stroud was born in Oregon. In 1971, he became the first in his family to attend college when he was selected to attend the U.S. Military Academy at West Point. He graduated in 1975 with a bachelor's degree with academic emphasis in Middle Eastern studies before serving six years in the Army in a number of locations and roles. He later earned his master's degree from St. Mary's College of California.
He moved to Colorado 20 years ago, has held a number of positions and is serving as president of his firm, Verz Ventures, a company that works on economic development issues with small and medium-size companies.
He lives in Denver and is the father of two daughters who are both in college.
Colorado Community Media asked the following questions of the candidates in the Congressional District 1 race. Below are Stroud's answers.
What makes you the best candidate for this office?
I have the knowledge, skills and motivation. I do not view this as a career. It is a call to duty just as our Founding Fathers envisioned. I am a West Point graduate with 13 years active and reserve service with knowledge of military spending. I earned the Meritorious Service Medal (twice) and am a life member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars. I have started and run successful small businesses. I know how to balance a budget and spend within my means. I was a director at the nonprofit Mental Health Association in California. My two daughters have successfully tackled college, work and community service. I have been active as a volunteer in their school and sports teams for 13 years as a coach and parent.
If elected, what would you do to promote job growth?
Simplify tax structures and lower corporate tax rates to allow middle-class small business owners to keep more of their income. Reduce regulations on businesses that drive up consumer costs. Unleash domestic energy production to lower energy costs, thereby lowering business costs and creating jobs. Decrease the cost of government by reducing its size, complexity and spending habits because a too-large government stifles growth. Reduce the deficit spending. Re-examine our foreign trade practices and curtail unfair practices while strengthening and opening new markets for American goods and services. I want to give every family access to great schools at all levels with affordable higher education and focused job-training programs that develop marketable skills that all businesses need.
What is the best way to meet the nation's growing energy demands?
Open up responsible domestic energy exploration and production; cease vilification of the hydrocarbon energy sources and encourage "all of the above" efforts for energy independence. We have sufficient energy supplies here in North America to be completely energy independent.