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Friday, June 13, 2008
Family history
Torsten and I do not have any divorces amongst our combined parents and grandparents, but I still don't want to follow this tradition. A long marriage doesn't equate a happy marriage, and I have one set of grandparents whose marriage particularly exemplified this idea.
My grandfather was gay. He knew this when he married my grandmother in the early 1950s. She did not know this, and didn't find out until 20 years and six children later, when she and my grandfather wound up in couples therapy in the 1970s. They were having intimacy issues of some sort, and what shocks me now to think about is that both of my grandparents apparently believed that the issues stemmed from my grandmother, the straight one, rather than from my grandfather, the gay man married to a woman.
I don't know much about the situation or how it all went down, but apparently during the course of this therapy, it came out that my grandfather was gay. In my head when I imagine this, I think of what a big shock it must have been for my grandmother--but maybe not. Maybe she suspected. Maybe she had been in denial. Maybe it was a relief. You can never really know what's going on inside other people's relationships. But in my head, I assume it was shock and dismay.
The revelation about my grandfather's sexuality, however, did not end the marriage. Both grandparents were extremely concerned about external appearances--a major reason why my grandfather had chosen to marry a woman, back in the 1950s, when it was most certainly not acceptable to be gay, and particularly if you were a doctor as my grandfather was. No patient would visit an openly homosexual doctor.
So the two of them came to some sort of arrangement. I'm not clear on the specifics, but I know that it allowed my grandfather to have extramarital affairs with men. I have no idea what my grandmother did, if she ever fell in love with a man who loved her back, if she ever slept with a man besides her husband. But despite what was going on internally, outwardly their marriage was fine. They were the happy family, the well-off physician and his lovely wife and charming kids living in a small town in the northeastern US, in a community where everyone knew them. And as far as I know, that's how everyone continued to perceive them. Norman Rockwell personified.
Except that when my grandfather left town on business trips, attending medical conventions and whatnot, he was also visiting bathhouses and sleeping with men. And on one of those visits, sometime in the 1980s, he contracted HIV.
It was in 1990, when I was six, that he went to get tested and learned that he was HIV-positive. It was in the early years of HIV, before advanced drugs, before any kind of HIV acceptance, before any kind of mass education. HIV was a highly unpleasant death sentence, one that would involve the truth coming out, everybody in their hometown finding out, the ruination of their perfect public image. In other words, his worst nightmare, the one that he had done everything to avoid.
For a long time I would believe that my grandfather died of exposure, that he went for a hike, climbed down the side of a cliff, then couldn't climb back up and wound up freezing to death. For awhile my parents would believe the same thing, because that's what my grandmother told them, told everyone. That's the story that the police kindly agreed to stick to, the story that was put in his obituary, the story that everyone in that town may still believe, for all I know.
But the truth is that he killed himself. He called one of his sons, my uncle, and he told him that he was going to do it. Then he obtained a lethal dose of medication (not difficult for a doctor to do), hiked partway up one of his favorite trails, and committed suicide. I do not know whether he left a note.
It may have truly been the best choice for him. This was a man who was willing to give up the possibility of a fulfilling romantic relationship in order to keep up appearances. HIV promised a sure death, but worse than that for him, an embarrassing scandal that would mar the last few years of his life, that would invalidate all of the sacrifices that he had made in years past to prevent that scandal from coming to light. So he did what he believed he had to do to prevent that from happening.
In 2001, eleven years later, I had to write a paper about the history of my family. In researching, I interviewed my grandmother on tape. She answered all my questions about her past willingly, until I ventured into new territory. The second I started to ask a question about my grandfather being gay, she closed her mouth, shook her head, turned off the tape recorder, and insisted that I rewind and record over the question before she would continue the interview. She would never talk about it. True to the very end to their shared principle of keeping up appearances, of not allowing their personal lives to be shared publicly.
I didn't glean that feeling from them. My grandmother would probably be horrified at the thought of blogs, and she may roll over in her grave when I publish this story for the entire internet to read. But for me, it's a fascinating story, a worthwhile story, a story worth sharing. A story worth contemplating. And a story that explains, in part, why there won't be family wedding photos displayed at our wedding.
In a way, I admire them both for their singular dedication to the ultimate goal of appearing like the perfect, happy family. Certainly they were persistent, and certainly they were rigorous. In 2001 I shared this story in my family history paper despite my grandmother's refusal to talk about it. Because even though she viewed it as shameful, it's a part of our history as a family. And I never want to be afraid to talk about that.
74 comments:
They may have been happy together, just not like regular married couples. She knew his deepest, darkest secret and kept it, stood by him, and allowed him to keep his dignity.
In turn, he gave her financial security, companionship, and an interesting life.
That was a fascinating story. Thank you for sharing it with us.Thank you for sharing with us ...
Maybe you can still honor them. I did. I put in our program - "We Dedicate our Day too" ... and I listed out the names. Before they started the wedding march, they read the names of all the people in our family that were no longer with us ... it was the best way i could think to honor them and make sure they were with us ...I appreciate you sharing that story about your family, when many people wouldn't dare. What a story.
I like that new tradition of putting family photos up, but I would follow it in the way to honor those who couldnt be there with us to celebrate. Like if (when hah) Dave and I get married, I would have pictures of my grandparents that aren't with us anymore, and his dad, who passed away when he was 17.This was fantastic, and so well written. Like another commenter said, I wonder how many other families in that time period were in the same situation? Fascinating.
I've never seen the parent and grandparent photos at a wedding; around here, everyone does the bride and groom baby photos. (We didn't. Just a few fun photos and our engagement photo.)This was a really fascinating and powerful story and you told it beautifully, i'm sure just the way it should be told.
I can't imagine what that must have been like for the both of them, the strength both of them would have to have in order to keep up this facade. More so with your grandmother, knowing what she did and still standing by him 100%.
Thank you for sharing this!That is quite a story and it really does tell so much about human nature, about appearances, about what we are willing to deny for the sake of saving face.
One of my oldest friends has parents in a similar situation. He was caught with another man and when the wife went to leave him, shocked and very hurt that he had lied and cheated, he begged her not to. They went to counseling and decided to stay married. They are still married but I do not believe they are intimate. It's the life they have chosen. Sadly, her father seems angry and controlling and a lot of other negative things that I attribute to what happens to a person when they deny who they are and force themselves to live a lie. Or maybe he'd be that way regardless of denying his gayness.
All this is to say that your family story is fascinating and I am so glad you shared it.Fascinating story, indeed. When I found out my brother was gay, I was in college. In the south. And was horrified. Not for who he was, but for all the difficulty he would run into in the world around him. That was 1994 when I found out. I can only imagine what it was like to be a gay man in the 1950s. Wow. Really interesting. Thanks so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteYou write this so beautifully...
I, like others, am interested in how you came to know the truth. My family is still of the 50's era keeping up appearances and refusing to talk about things that are difficult, so I know very little of the real history of my family, which I find frustrating and sad.As the others have said: this is a riveting and startling and thought-provoking story, and you told it wonderfully.
My grandparents were the same about privacy. I remember I once wondered aloud why some friends of theirs (a friendship of 50 years' duration by then) had never had children, and they were SHOCKED by my bringing it up, and also said they had NO IDEA and it had NEVER COME UP. Can you imagine that NOW?This is so very interesting. Something like this happened in my family as well. When my mother married my step-father, his sister was married and had two kids. A few years later, my step-aunt and her husband divorced because he was gay. He knew it when they married (in the late-60s), but went through with the marriage anyway, for appearances. She had no idea.
It IS so much easier to be who we are now, as Tessie says in her comment. But that is society-wise. A lot of families still have issues with a family member being outside the social "norm" as they perceive it. They have the point of view of "it's fine so long as it doesn't happen in OUR family." Which is sad.Wow that is quite a story. I literally don't know what to say. It's such a shame that you grandfather was never fully free to be who he wanted to be and your grandmother lived with his secret as well for all those years because of was what noted as "acceptable."
I just found your blog and very much enjoyed your post.What an apropos story as this weekend is the 33rd Annual Capital Pride. Stories like your grandfather's were and remain all too common. This story is sad on so many levels and, while I can't and won't judge the decisions your grandparents made regarding their individuality, their marriage, and their family, I will say that I hope the world is changing and becoming a kinder, gentler place for all people. Regardless of whom and how they love.
You told this story with great love and respect. I think your grandmother would at least be okay with that.Wow, that is an incredible story.
Personally though, I don't think that your grandfather being gay should automatically qualify it as an "unhappy" or "bad" marriage. I mean, obviously it's not what any of us would envision for ourselves, but I have to imagine that they felt some semblance of love toward one another, even if it wasn't a conventional romantic/sexual love. I think the fact that they stayed together, even if it is for what we would consider to be the "wrong" reasons, is admirable in its own right. Not necessarily a bad marriage... but certainly an unconventional one.
I will stop now before I start uncontrollably spouting Queer Theory. I'm not even sure if I made my point... but I tried :)This was quite well written. I mean, I'm in the mood where big paragraphs in blogs are a turn off for me. . . it's getting late, and I'd rather be watching some stupid video on YouTube or my reruns of Gilmore Girls.
All of that to say: this story is incredible. I can't imagine how your grandmother (or grandfather, for that matter) felt in this situation and how it has affected your family throughout your entire lives.Heartwrenching story. Beautiful post. It's possible that your grandmother doesn't want the story known not because she wants to keep up the appearance of having a perfect marriage but because she loved your grandfather that much that she wanted to spare him and his memory from gossip. You know how people are, they will define you by what they perceive to be the worst thing about you. She probably didn't want that to overshadow everything else he's done with his life. That's just amazing to me. Thanks for sharing this, Jess.
ReplyDeleteI really admire your courage to talk about a part of your family history other members of the family want to keep secret. It is fascinating and worth sharing. Thank you for sharing and giving me something to ponder today. My family has many secrets and skeletons as well, but everyone falls in line and pretends as Mom wants so we "appear" perfect. I hate this.
ReplyDeleteJess, I clicked over to your site to leave comments on your recent post, and then my eyes saw this and here I am!
I wanted to share that my grandma's brother (my great-uncle) was also a closet gay man. He never married, but he moved away from small-town South Dakota as soon as he was of age. He lived out the rest of his life in NY.
I never met him, but I heard lots of stories about him. His family adored him, but because he knew he would bring them shame, he never returned, even for visits.
When I was in 10th grade he too died of AIDS. At first, we were told that he had cancer. But then my dad and grandma found out the truth, and against the rest of their family's will, decided not to play along with the "cancer story".
They went to visit him (my grandma and dad) during his last days before he died. And they both regretted SO MUCH the way he felt like he was shaming the whole family.- AnonymousThursday, June 10, 2010 11:34:00 PM
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Channel 16 Goes Digital
Fairfax County Government Channel 16 Goes Digital on Dec. 11
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Reading NFL.com's story on a Dallas Cowboy fan petitioning Barack Obama to get rid of Jerry Jones, is really way more joy than I can handle in the same week that my Redskins smacked up the Cowboys in their own stadium, and on Thanksgiving to boot.
"We, the Citizens of the Great State of Texas, and Dallas Cowboys fans worldwide, have been oppressed by an over controlling, delusional, oppressive dictator for way too long. Request the Executive Branch's immediate assistance in removal of owner and GM, Jerry Jones. His incompetence and ego have not only been an extreme disappointment for way too long, but moreover, it has caused extreme mental and emotional duress."
Do you see what RGIII has reduced Cowboys Nation to?
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Maybe someone should swing by that guy's place and make sure he is okay.
The report goes on to say that, "Only 24,588 more (signatures) are required for Obama to take this seriously."
What do you think Redskins Nation? Is it worth 25,000 of us getting together on this just to send a little good cheer and chaos to our 'good friends' in Cowboys Nation?
I'd sign that petition.
I know this though, in a week where my rookie quarterback firmly established himself as the new Cowboy Killer, I'm pretty giddy to see this kind of malaise in Texas.
More By Mark Solway
- 5 Best Super Bowl Bets Ever Made - February 2nd, 2017
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Tags: Dallas Cowboys, Jerry Jones, RGIII, Thanksgiving


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Apprenticeships will no longer be considered a "poor man's degree" with the introduction of higher-level training, David Cameron promised yesterday.
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Home > Patients & Visitors > For patients > Billing & insurance > Medicare identified self-administered drugs
Generally, the oral and topical prescriptions and over-the-counter drugs you get in an outpatient setting like an emergency department, outpatient department, or the clinical decision unit are identified as "self-administered drugs" by Medicare and aren't covered by Medicare Part B. If you have Medicare Part D prescription drug coverage, these drugs may be covered under certain circumstances. You will likely need to pay out-of-pocket for these drugs and submit a claim to your drug plan for reimbursement. Call your Medicare Part D plan provider for more information.Community Hospital is not a Medicare Part D provider and cannot submit a claim for payment.My doctor told me that I was admitted and I stayed one or more nights in the hospital.Being "admitted" does not necessarily mean you met Medicare inpatient criteria, as set forth in thefederal Medicare regulations. Even though you may have stayed one or more nights in the hospital, this date of service did not meet inpatient level of care standards, as defined by Medicare.
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If medication is ordered but for some reason is not administered to the patient, the patient is not charged.
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It is difficult to compare charges for drugs from a hospital pharmacy and those of a retail store.
A hospital is always open and staffed by doctors, nurses, and other clinical support staff members who are caring for very sick patients and available for emergency situations. Our overhead costs are more than a retail pharmacy, therefore our charges are more than a retail pharmacy.
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Suburgatory Lists
30 minutes
Single father George only wants the best for his 16-year-old daughter, Tessa. So when he finds a box of condoms on her nightstand, he moves them out of their apartment in New York City to a house in the suburbs. But all Tessa sees is the horror of over-manicured lawns and plastic Franken-moms. Being in the 'burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they've ever been.


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I can't guess which one but here's a workaround.
After that it's off to HANDBRAKE the DVD back to something we can edit.
My understanding is that the camera and mac laptop are not compatible but thought someone might have another idea or "work around" to make the transfer a possibility.


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Redesigned Launch of BestRockfordYards.com
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lymphogranulomata is a valid word in this word list. For a definition, see the external dictionary links below.
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text: What The Hell To Do With This Nifty Inclinometer?Murilee Martin6/27/07 2:00pmFiled to: Junkyard Find Of The DayJunkyard Clutter DilemmaJunkyardMitsubishimontero30EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalink So there I was at the junkyard, sniffing out components for my next project, when I spied this... this really cool thing in a Mitsubishi Montero. A fully mechanical, self-contained inclinometer, all full of gimbals and balancers and general goodness! What the heck, I figured, and paid $5 for it. Now it sits on my desk, beckoning me: build something with me! But what? Related: What To Do With All These Impala Emblems? [internal] Reply30 repliesLeave a reply


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This is one of the most sturdy craft supplies to have in your supplies kit, similar in texture to a cardboard box. The circles are white on both sides so kids can easily paint and decorate them. They are strong enough to glue on heavier decorations like gravel or sea shells. Alternately, you can use them with markers, paint or stickers. With these corrugated cardboard shapes, you'll feel confident that children's artwork won't crumble with rough little fingers.
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Notes From Underground
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
RIP Hugo Chavez
I was just catching the news that Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez succumbed to cancer today. He was a controversial figure, even to people who identify themselves as ideological leftists, but it is fairly safe to argue that for the poor in Venezuela, he left the country much better off than he found it. I'm cautiously optimistic that his successors will continue the reforms that Chavez began in the late 1990s. Long live the Bolivarian Revolution!
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AppleSox can't sweep defending champs, lose 6-5
WENATCHEE — The Wenatchee AppleSox's luck ran out in the series finale on Wednesday after two games in which the home team allowed the Corvallis Knights on base but stopped them from scoring.
In the Knights' 6-5 win, they racked up hits and baserunners – a handful of which trickled in to score.
"We needed a game like this, I thought we came out and swung the bat a lot better," Corvallis head coach Brooke Knight said. "... It's never…


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Mary Grant was born on February 20, 1917 in Wales as Elenor Mary Grant. She is known for her work on Sweet Smell of Success (1957), We're No Angels (1955) and The Princess and the Pirate (1944). She was married to Vincent Price. She died on March 2, 2002 in Boston, Massachusetts, USA.
See full bio »
Born:in Wales, UKDied:(age 85) in Boston, Massachusetts, USA |


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East Aurora School Board: Put Protections in Place for Transgender Students
This policy would have had an enormous impact on the lives of the school's transgender and gender non-conforming students, a change that our youth desperately need. According to the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) 90% of transgender youth reported feeling unsafe in their school because of their gender identity and 63% because of their gender expression. These statistics reinforce the obligation towards tolerance of diversity that needs to be set by school administrators and officials within schools through school policies.
"The board's decision to rescind the policy threatens the safety of our Transgender students and students may not conform to gender norms," stated Anthony Martinez, Executive Director of The Civil Rights Agenda. "We should take the necessary steps toward overturning this decision. Health, safety, and wellness are human rights entitled to all individuals regardless of gender expression or identity and must be upheld in order to promote and provide a safe space for transgender and gender non-conforming students in the East Aurora Public Schools."
Two great pieces on why East Aurora needs to stand up for its trans students:
Jen Richards, "Separating Church and State: How the Aurora Decision Failed Transgender Students": http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jen-richards/aurora-transgender-policy_b_2051949.html
Scout, "Science, Not Politics, Needs to Guide Policies Protecting Trans Youth": http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scout-phd/science-not-politics-needs-to-guide-policies-protecting-trans-youth_b_1987280.html


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Product Details
Pretty floral table runner doily will add a bit of romance to any room to your home. This fabulous oblong shape placemat is ideal to use to protect your dressing table, coffee table or sideboards, etc.
- Spectacular oval-shaped doily with decorative cutwork border
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- Size (L x W): Approx. 16.5 x 10.5 inch
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Package Includes:
- 1x Table Doily
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View Daniel Blumin's profile |
The run-around drill sergeant of love meets the freeform radio nurse in an international popularity crisis. Twang, dub, noise, rockers, aliens, drum machines, foreigners, imported goods, songs, rumbles, hollers, blips and squiggles, along with an occasional musical number.
<-- Previous playlist | Back to Daniel Blumin playlists | Next playlist -->
March 22, 2009: CHiPs: Relevance, Dismissal, and Self-Definition
Listen to this show:
Add or read comments
Listener comments! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 12:14am
First heard RE on ESP & India Navigation ... back in the day ... x-cellent! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 12:28am
D. Blumin:
Thx fer checkin in Slavicus! That's some ESP synchronicity... and I'll be getting to some Slavs later as well! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 12:30am
esp noted ;) great programming... will be w/you all night / pax | |
Sun. 3/22/09 12:55am
dan in falls church VA:
enjoying the show here...did you actuallyJUST play a track by Sri Aurobindo? I was like reading something about him just a few minutes ago.... HOW COSMIC!!!!! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 1:06am
supramental ;) | |
Sun. 3/22/09 1:14am
Hiposiko from Puerto Rico:
that last one was pretty great... | |
Sun. 3/22/09 1:22am
D. BLumin:
That's a dif Aurobindo - the one I played is a collab b/w Mark Van Hoen (Locust) and Daren Seymour (Seefeel)... Cosmic anyway - supernatural perhaps! Hiposiko from PR - thx! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 1:53am
hey daniel. awesome program tonight. thanks. you got any jean dubuffet around the station? or how about something on the really weird side by morricone like some italian horror cues? thanks and have a great night. | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:07am
D. Blumin:
Muhrvis! Pluto Drive is as scary as we gonna get! Thx fer tuning in!!! We'll get to Jean D next time... Have a great night yrself! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:15am
hahaha this is some good stuff, i am enjoying it! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:16am
thx man | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:32am
(ChiPs) Oh gawd that was fun at first then it really started to hurt.... | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:38am
ooohh, that's better | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:45am
Hey hey! Wow, there's still nothing like that first P.J. Harvey album. So say we all! Did Neko Case's song deserve that kind of abuse from M.F., though? Heh heh. | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:54am
dan in falls church VA:
there's some connection between the Aurobindo duo you played and Aurobindo the mystic.. The word "supramental", whatever it means, appears 33 times in the wiki entry for Aurobindo (the mystic). That CAN'T be just a COINCIDENCE! it just CAN'T!!! it must be, as slavicus pointed out....SUPRAMENTAL! | |
Sun. 3/22/09 2:56am
D. Blumin:
Ike, Neko's got her new cd at Starbucks as I discovered when using their facilities on my road trip... So yes! Maybe! You should hear the Antony collab! Karwi, I have an iron constitution! I loved it! Dan and everyone have a supramental weekend! | |
RSS feeds for Daniel Blumin's show: Playlists feed | MP3 archives feed
| E-mail Daniel Blumin | Other WFMU Playlists | All artists played by Daniel Blumin |


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Our warmer Spring like weather here in the Northeast has everything blooming so much earlier..which is so nice! And it puts me in the mood for something baked with coconut, so I made these cupcakes into jumbo sizes rather than the standard size, which I tend to do a lot. Definitely a taste of Spring in every bite!
This recipe comes from Martha Stewart and the only change I made was to add a bit of coconut extract to the batter to up the coconut flavor. I also decided that the frosting recipe probably was going to make too much so I not just halved it this time, but I made one fourth of the amount and it was perfect. But keep in mind that we don't like lots of frosting on our cupcakes so you may want to make the full amount.
Coconut Cupcakes with Toasted Coconut Frosting ( adapted from Martha Stewart)
Makes 12-14 standard size cupcakes or 6-7 jumbo cupcakes
1 3/4 cup (8.0 ozs.) AP flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 cup packed sweetened shredded coconut
3/4 cup ( 1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter-room temp.
1 1/3 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. coconut extract ( my addition)
2 large eggs plus 2 egg whites- room temp.
3/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
Preheat oven to 350. Fill muffin pans with paper liners.
1. Whisk the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl.
2. Place the shredded coconut into a food processor and pulse til finely ground, then whisk into the dry ingredients.
3. In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and sugar til pale and fluffy on medium high speed.
4. Gradually beat in whole eggs, egg whites, vanilla and coconut extracts, scraping bowl occasionally.
5. On low speed, add flour mixture in 3 batches, alternating with coconut milk, beating after each addition, til well combined.
6. Scoop batter into muffin liners, filling about 3/4 full.
7. Bake approx. 20 minutes, or til tester comes out clean. Cool completely before frosting.
Note: I thought this amount of frosting makes a lot so I actually made one fourth but I think if you halve the amounts you'd have enough, but giving you the full recipe and let you decide.
2 sticks unsalted butter-room temp.
1-2 tsp. coconut extract
approx. 32 ozs. confectioners' sugar
3-4 tbsp. cream or milk or coconut milk
1. Cream butter, then beat in sugar and extract.
2. Add milk til the frosting reaches desired consistency. If too thin, add more milk, if too thick add more sugar.
Sprinkle the tops with toasted coconut flakes or chips. Enjoy!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
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+Alzheimer's Reading Room
Dotty is 94 years old and suffers from Alzheimer's disease. Harvey is a repeat parrot and right now is Dotty's best friend.
Harvey is also one of the 15 million Alzheimer's caregivers.
Dotty spends about two hours a day with Harvey. Harvey is very good at getting information out of Dotty. For example, she might tell him she has a "splitting headache". Most Alzheimer's patients are not very good at communicating this kind of information.
Enjoy the short video. Your comments and observations are always welcome here.
Go here to check out Pete the Repeat Parrot.
More Insight and Advice for Caregivers
- Communicating in Alzheimer's World
- What's the Difference Between Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia
- How the Loss of Memory Works in Alzheimer's Disease, and How Understanding This Could Help You
- Learning How to Communicate with Someone Suffering From Alzheimer's Disease
- What is Alzheimer's Disease?
- What is Dementia?
Bob DeMarco is the Founder of the Alzheimer's Reading Room and an Alzheimer's caregiver. The blog contains more than 4,000 articles with more than 312,100 links on the Internet. Bob lives in Delray Beach, FL.
Original content Bob DeMarco, the Alzheimer's Reading Room


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Social Graces
I read this 2 part post; Part 1 and Part 2, by wannabauthor on her blog and it gave me an idea for a new post. The topic is of a special interest to me and I had been thinking of writing on it since a long time now. Reading the post by wannabe, acted like a NOx boost to my slowing engine of the brain.
With time and with the growing economy many are now financially well off and are enjoying fine dining at fine eateries, show off expensive fashion, but they still act in a manner which is as sophisticated as the Pope is a Muslim. Nouveau riches, who lack the class and finesse and are most times quite vulgar. Who think that with money they can own anything.
Social graces that include etiquettes and manners were once an important aspect of learning, but with time the focus is shifting. The way you dress, walk, talk, eat, sit, etc are all important with social point of view.
Etiquettes are expected social behaviour of the group and depend on the culture of the place you are in. These also change with time. While travelling to any part of the world or the country, it is best to pre-learn some local custom and etiquettes, so that you do not hurt anyone's belief. You are the new person there and it is your duty to mingle with them.
Manners are a kind of standards laws about how a Gentleman or a Lady should behave. These include being refined in behaviour, politeness, proper dressing among other things. Unlike etiquettes, manners usually do not vary much. And the points that tell whether a person is from a good family are usually the same everywhere.
It is very important to follow the correct protocol of a place. How many times have you been disturbed in the middle of a film screening or a concert by the jarring notes of a mobile phone? And then the owner of the phone is courteous enough to let everyone in 1 km radius, know what deal he will be signing in office. I won't call him civil even if he was the richest man in the world.
In the modern age along with cell phones, driving etiquettes are also important. The protocol of both the devices is roughly the same everywhere.
During my recent trip to Jalandhar, a man sitting in front was playing music on his cell phone. This is fine as long as you use a headphone, but no he wanted to share his collection with everyone. And then he started playing recordings of his 4-year-old reciting nursery rhymes. And trust me the shrill voice sliced my brain like a scythe through grass. Mothers have an inane desire to showcase the talents of her child even if it bores the other person. What manners are these? Making good conversation betrays your good social graces. And good conversations mean in which everyone can be involved.
The dinner table is a very important place for practicing correct manners. These include the proper way of sitting, of placement of utensils and the proper way of eating. Different cultures have different set of table etiquettes. In Southern India, placement of Banana leaves is important and so is the fact that while eating with hands, the left hand should not be used. Japanese culture lays strict rules on the usage of chopsticks and even the eating of Sushi has its own set of accepted rules.
Since each part of the world has its own set of etiquettes, therefore I won't go on describing each of them. But in conclusion I will say that money is one thing, but acting in a sophisticated way and with grace and finesse is more important to make your standing as a Lady or a Gentleman.
8 Responses to "Social Graces"-
I hate it when people have loud conversations on the phone. Such people should have a mute button attached to them.
Interesting observation. That also can be counted under etiquettes. But unknowingly you do make an impression of how a person would be in your mind when you look at him/her.
Not only Japanese chefs. All chefs take offense if they feel you are not being fair to the food. My grandfather is not too fond of spaghetti and it infuriates me when he adds mint sauce or green chutney to it.
Good ettiquttes cannot be bought with money. It only comes with education, culture and good upbringing. The nouveau riche have the money to flaunt, but they rarely have the class to go with it.


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Book Release: A Voice For Singles With Chronic Illness August 27, 2014
Posted by Onely in book review, Reviews, Single with chronic illness, We like. . ..Tags: chronic illness, misdiagnosed, misdiagnosed the search for Dr House, Nika C. Beamon, single and sick, singles blog, undiagnosed
2 comments
A while ago we here at Onely.org gave our dear Copious Readers a heads-up and review about Nika C. Beamon's book MISDIAGNOSED: THE SEARCH FOR DR. HOUSE.
Now we wanted to announce that it's available on Amazon.com as a paperback and Kindle book. It's also available on Smashwords and as a Nook Book. Look for the paperback version on Barnes and Noble.com. Congratulations, Nika!
She also wrote a guest post on Psychology Today that ties into the book and talks about how to deal with being sick and single.
Copious Readers, I hope you're not sick and that no one you love has a serious illness. But even if you are so lucky, check out Nika's book anyway, just for educational value. You might find a whole new world of weirdness as you enter the seamy, stupid underbelly of the U.S. healthcare system.
Weird Things We Worship: Weddings May 21, 2014
Posted by Onely in We like. . ., YouTube Style.Tags: Buzzfeed, Things you would only do at a wedding that would be creepy elsewhere
2 comments
Copious Readers, welcome to the first installment of our new series, "Weird Things We Worship". The theme of today's post is Weddings.
Check out this Buzzfeed video "Things you would only do at a wedding that would be creepy elsewhere". It shows how bizarre some of the aspects of marriage ceremonies are and makes you wonder just why we get all spun up about the Big Day. That's fine–lots of ceremonies have quirky bits, which are often fun. But weddings are different somehow. They often take themselves too seriously. And they can mirror society's overall aura of marital status privilege (MSP). Watch the part of the video where our hero tells his friend to bring him a present. Well, watch the whole video, but especially watch that part. (Though all social analysis about MSP aside, it's also fun to watch where our hero throws the rice. . .)
Sillybacy: The Funnier Side of The No-Sex Oath January 10, 2014
Posted by Onely in blog reviews, Everyday Happenings, We like. . ..Tags: Catholic blog, Funny Celibacy, No Sex, Oath of Celibacy, single not looking for partner, singles blog
1 comment so far
As our Copious Readers at Onely know, some single people have lots of sex, some have (ahem) rather middling amounts, and some have no sex at all. What? None?
For unmarried or uncoupled people who want sex but aren't having any, this seems like quite the problem. But many people actually choose or swear to be celibate–maybe for a pre-determined period, maybe permanently, or maybe for an indeterminate amount of time after (ahem) a particularly bad first date, involving an argument about ice cream in a public parking lot and also (don't ask) beansprouts.
But despite all these different kinds of celibacy, when most people hear "celibacy", our knee-jerk reaction is,
Difficult. Extreme. Embarrassing to discuss, especially with the perpetrator.
So I am pleased to flag for you this tongue-in-cheek list on the blog of a Catholic priest friend of mine, which explains why being celibate isn't so celibad* after all. (more…)
Visualize Living Alone: Infographic About This Extraordinary Privilege May 3, 2013
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Uncategorized, We like. . ..Tags: Eric Klinenberg, forrent, living alone, single blog, single homeowner
1 comment so far
Copious Readers,
We here at Onely like to experiment with guest posters! We love having them and the interesting perspectives they bring (which may or may not completely jibe with Onely's optic). Today we are moving from pure text to something a little more visual–an Infographic. This medium is new to us so we'll be interested in hearing your feedback on both the form and the content, which in this case has to do with the growing trend of Living Alone. Click on the graphic to see the whole image on ForRent.com, an apartment search company exploring this new trend. Normally Onely does not advocate specific businesses, but we believe in companies that consider renting or building alternative housing for non-traditional familes such as single people, and so we appreciate that ForRent has taken notice of single dwellers.
In 1950, only 9% of households had single occupants. Comparing that with today's 27%, it is easy to see the trend of solitary living. With extending life spans, the average age of marriage slowly increasing and large rises in urbanization, we are on a path that will not be changing in the near future. The economy is in a slow recovery yet, surprisingly, a very small amount of young adults have moved back into their family homes.
In this infographic, we will take a look at some of the other factors influencing Americans to forego residential companionship and instead prefer to live by themselves.
"Alone But Not Lonely" infographic designed by ForRent.com
Unmarried Thirty-Somethings Rock: Support '2 Hopeful Spinsters'! March 2, 2013
Posted by Onely in Celebrities, film review, single and happy, We like. . ., YouTube Style.Tags: 2 hopeful spinsters
5 comments
People sometimes comment on (or laugh at) the fact that Lisa and I are two people co-writing a blog about being happily and progressively single. Most other singles' blogs are, quite logically, written by a single person. So imagine our delight when we discovered another website co-managed by pair of single women, just like Onely! Except 2 Hopeful Spinsters consists of action-packed web video, instead of action-packed web words.Heather and Dellany (the Hopeful Spinsters)'s goal, like Onely's, is to challenge the cobwebbed notions that thirty-something single women are bitter, jaded, ugly, and surrounded by cats (well, actually we're not going to challenge that last one).
In their kickstarter pitch, the Hopeful Spinsters point out Webster Dictionary's definition of spinster: a woman past the common marrying age. In the US today, that age is 27. In the pitch they also include a segment "Shit People Say to Spinsters (Inspired by actual events)". At a college alumni shindig, the partiers demonstrate typical lines often thrown at 'spinsters', for example: Are you a lesbian? Have you thought about freezing your eggs? and, my personal favorite, where a man certainly over thirty years old says,
I don't date women over 30. (more…)
Singles and Asexuals: Their Intersextion January 23, 2013
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, sex, single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: asexual, AVEN, david jay, happy singles, single blog, swank ivy
25 comments
An 'asexual person' refers to someone who does not experience sexual attraction.
To many people, this sounds startling, or freakish. They may say it's impossible; the asexual person must have something wrong with them.
A 'non-seeking single' refers to someone who doesn't particularly care if he or she finds The One or gets married.
To many people, this sounds startling, or freakish. They may say it's impossible; the single person must have something wrong with them.
Whoaaaaaa there, some of our Copious Readers might say. Why are you comparing asexuals to singles? You're just perpetuating the stereotype that non-coupled singles don't get any sex! And that's not true! We get a LOT of sex! Sometimes!
No, this is not about that. This is about rhetoric. Asexuals and singles of many stripes are alike–in that they suffer from (or are irritated by) the same kinds of prejudiced rhetoric. I recently watched the documentary (A)Sexual. Its primary hero is David Jay, the founder of AVEN, the Asexuality and Visibility Education Network. The film also follows asexual advocate Swank Ivy. I stared with fascination as she described her Top Ten List of Things People Say To an Asexual.
If Onely had compiled a Top Ten list (why didn't we ever think to do that?) it would be pretty much identical to Swank Ivy's. (Although her online list varies slightly from the verbal list she gives in the movie, their essences are the same.) Note that she writes from the point of view of a hetero woman, but the list could easily be tweaked to fit men: (more…)
Singles Advocates Talk Live on HuffPost January 18, 2013
Posted by Onely in We like. . ..Tags: high price of being single, HuffPost Live
2 comments
Copious Readers, you may want to go to HuffPost Live to see a moderated discussion among Dr. Bella DePaulo of Singled Out, Eleanor Wells of The Spinsterlicious Life, and Christina of Onely (Lisa is on Beirut time).
We'll be talking about about how marital status discrimination impacts single people, as described in Onely's recent Atlantic article, and Bella and Eleanor's books.
Comments are welcome. Except about my hair.
–Christina (and Lisa)
Singles Shopping Day November 18, 2012
Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: alternative Valentines, November 11, singles, singles blog, Singles Day in China
5 comments
Lisa and I are so behind on our Onely research and writing that we missed Singles Shopping Day on 11 November! So sorry we were unable to flag it for for you, our Copious Readers, because I know you all (and by you all, I mean me) love any holiday that combines shopping with the chance to get all up on our soapboxes about the awesomeness of singlehood.
On 11/11, Singles Shopping Day, according to this AP news article,
Singles Day was begun by Chinese college students in the 1990s as a version of Valentine's Day for people without romantic partners. . . Unattached young people would treat each other to dinner or give gifts to woo that special someone and end their single status.


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money buys antisemitism.Reader comment on item: Smart University Giving Submitted by batya dagan (United States), Feb 14, 2013 at 21:33 Last year many of us finally exploded with rage when a professor in BEN GURION university in Israel was heard saying awful things about Israel and spreading propaganda on behalf of the Palestinians. We wrote to the school and the education department and said simply - we are stoping the money. It helped, to a degree.It is hard to be on top of what these antisemitic so called professors say but we try.It is out of the question that good money will go to hurt the people who survived the Holocaust and their families. We worship education but what is going in our universities reminds us of what is going in madrassas or what was going in German school during Hitler times. What is left to do is to be on guard,to watch, to put a big light on the donors money in schools that forgot what they are all about. Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". Reader comments (14) on this item
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January (Spanish) Stay Informed – Hazard Awareness |
February (Spanish) Life Without Power |
March (Spanish) Sheltering vs. Evacuation |
April (Spanish) Family Contacts & Medical Information |
May (Spanish) Create a Plan |
June (Spanish) Special Needs – Children, Seniors, Disabled, Pets, etc. |
July (Spanish) Saving Personal Items – Keepsakes, Documents, etc. |
August (Spanish) Recovering After Disaster |
September (Spanish) Food and Water |
October (Spanish) Emergency Supplies Kit |
November (Spanish) First Aid Kits |
December (Spanish) First Aid / CPR Training |
The GET READY! Kent County twelve month citizen preparedness program focuses on a different area of emergency preparedness each month. Fact sheets will be available for each topic listed on twelve month calendar. These fact sheets provide a range of preparedness options and action steps.
Disasters happen anytime and anywhere. When disaster strikes it is easier to cope when you are prepared. Being prepared for the potential emergencies in Western Michigan means addressing all of the steps noted in the twelve month preparedness calendar. Acting on one step each month is an easy way to accomplish this goal.
GET READY! Kent County Fact Sheets are available at the following locations:
The Fact Sheet Topic of the Month Will Also be Available at:
Read the Fact Sheet presented that month. There will be an explanation and suggestions on steps to prepare for that area of preparedness. Act on the suggestions in a manner that fits your time, your family, and your budget.
Sponsored by the Department of Homeland Security, this video demonstrates the steps individuals and families can take to prepare for a disaster.
Emergency preparedness topics in American Sign Language:
Shelter in Place and Evacuation
Preparing For an Influenza Pandemic
Creating an Emergency Supplies Kit
Kent County Emergency Management – (616) 632-6258
American Red Cross of Greater Grand Rapids – (616) 456-8661
Kent County Health Department – (616) 632-7168
701 Ball Avenue NE
Grand Rapids, MI 49503
Monday - Friday
8:00am - 5:00pm
(616) 632-6100
(616) 632-6122
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Michelle Young
Under Sheriff
Kevin Kelley
Chief Deputy-Law Enforcement
Chuck Dewitt
Chief Deputy-Corrections
703 Ball Avenue NE
Grand Rapids, MI 49503
(616) 632-6400
Inmate Information
(616) 632-6300


text:
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Dedicated to the advancement of the State of Indiana by re-affirming our state's constitutional principles that: all people are created equal; no religious test shall be imposed on our public officials and offices of trust; and no special privileges or immunities shall be granted to any class of citizens which are not granted on the same terms to all citizens. Advance Indiana, LLC. Copyright 2005-16. All rights reserved.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Eugene White: TIFS And Abatements Do Affect Taxes
A common refrain from Mayor Peterson and other local politicians in response to the Marion Co. property tax debacle has been to blame the schools, which make up about one-half of your property tax bill. But the City-County government, through the Metropolitan Development Commission, gets to pick and choose who to take off the property tax rolls. For every taxpayer they remove from the tax rolls, other taxpayers have to pick up that much more in taxes to compensate for the loss in property tax revenues. It's not a zero sum game. It's also the case that Center Township, which comprises most of IPS, has more tax-exempt property than any other township in the state of Indiana.
16 comments:
If you watched his presentation, he was not there to bash abatements. Rather, he noted the large number of EXEMPT properties in center township which include government and nonprofits. Should not these properties be paying THEIR fair share of what we, the center township taxpayers, are now funding?
With me you're preaching to the choir Gary. I have made several posts in the past about the incredibly high number of properties that are on TIFs and Abatements. The percentage given by Supt.White is actually about 4 years old as he took it from the same study on the situation I read.
Study after study after study on nearly every major city that hands out TIFs and Abatements like candy have their inner schools going to hell in a handbasket.
When a business want to locate to a city one of the most important things they look at is the quality of the educational system there. The ironic thing is, those same businesses don't want to have to pay for that educational system via property taxes.
Indianapolis gets what it pays for. Case in point is our main emphasis on the service and hospitality industry. We don't need PhD's to sling hash in new restuarants, clean rooms, pick up trash or park cars. If this is all we are educating students for in IPS then we're getting what we paid for. The 16 year old HS dropout is going to make the same money a HS graduate does doing the same job flipping burgers or sweeping floors.
Yes, we pay 50% of our taxes to IPS but that burden would be substantially less if businesses paid what we do.
Gary, you need to provide a link to the Indytaxdollars blog. He knows what he's talking about. - 7:51 AM GMT-5
Abatements are only given on the increased value of land and personal property- what's better a worhtless piece of land not contibuting to the tax rolls, or a new building that will eventually add a lot to the tax rolls, helping to spread the burden?
Look at the Conrad- that was a government park not paying property taxes while bums slept there, not it will gradually come on to the tax rollls, benefiting all. - 7:52 AM GMT-5
Businesses in center township pay 1/2 of all center township property taxes.
- Advance Indiana said...
Anon 7:52, you are wrong on abatements. They are given on existing, improved structures as well with a promise of adding additional jobs or expansions to the existing improvements.
7:52, Since when during the last 15 years has any piece of property in the Mile Square been worthless?
As a taxpayer I don't want my goverment in the real estate business. They spend $10 millon on "worthless property" and sell it for next to nothing PLUS give the developer cash to boot.
Who owns the Market Square site? Wager to quess what it's fair market value is on the open market? - 8:49 AM GMT-5
7:54, right now there is over $231 million in property taxes NOT being paid by downtown businesses.
Keep bashing businesses and see how many stay here or locate here... - 9:00 AM GMT-5
Anon: 9:00
That is an absolutely insane comeback. If I follow it to its logical conclusion, then everything connected to commerce would be tax exempt. Some is necessary, but far too many we don't even know about are the result of smokey backroom deals between the power brokers. Bank on it. - 12:10 PM GMT-5
I am sympathetic to Dr. White's concerns about losing tax base that affects IPS. As a homeowner in this school district I share the same concerns. However, the IPS school construction plan is too much. There is always a mention about the air conditioning, but these elaborate reconstruction plans go far beyond that and if you notice, there is a huge project underway at the IPS Administration building. Seems to me that air conditioning for the older buildings should have been a higher priority than a parking garage for the Administration building.
- Karen Goldner said...
"They are given on existing, improved structures as well with a promise of adding additional jobs or expansions to the existing improvements."
I think you are overstating this, Gary.
By definition, an abatement is a phase-in of the increase in assessed value due to new improvements.
If I have an existing building and want to expand it so it can house new employees, then I may be granted a tax abatement. If I expand the building, then I continue to pay the taxes on the previous assessed value, and the taxes due to the increase in assessed value are phased in over a period of time (typically 10 years). However, if I do not expand the building, there are no improvements which would increase the assessed value, so there is nothing to abate. As a result, I get no savings on the increase, since there is no increase.
If I plan to hire more people without increasing assessed value (by building or expanding a building, or buying certain types of capital equipment), then I cannot qualify for an abatement. Again, there is nothing to abate if there is no increase in assessed value. - 2:53 PM GMT-5
As a small business owner, I'm fighting to stay alive with all of the Walmarts, Krogers, Lowes of the world. I have 8 employees and earn no wage as of yet for myself. Continuing to increase my property taxes to pay for sports arenas, weight trainers, expanding expense budgets for education? I don't see most of the kids appreciating the free education, free lunches, etc. It's very important for them to receive an education!
I love my customers and staff as a small business owners and desire to give them more personal service, but all the expenses of FUTA, SUTA, Unemployment taxes, property taxes, inventory taxes, time to track of this and report it make it difficult. We don't have the loopholes of corporate America to divert these expenses. - 3:14 PM GMT-5
That's how much IPS spent last year per student. But Eugene White says that's not enough.
Remember that number every time he complains. It will be higher this year. And even higher the following year.
But according to White, it still won't be enough. - 3:52 PM GMT-5
Why can't IPS get together with the Washington Township folks and take over school buildings that they will be closing that are already air conditioned?
When I went to school in the 1970's, we didn't have A/C and no one complained about it. We opened the windows. That's just how it was.
I guarantee that I was a better student in the 1970's without A/C than the average student in IPS is today. - 3:57 PM GMT-5
Yeah, but when you went to school in the 1970s they didn't start classes until after Labor Day.
Gotta have that air conditioning so they can start school early enough to get in those three extra football games, y'know! - 9:58 AM GMT-5
That's how much IPS spent last year per student. But Eugene White says that's not enough.
The above statement is simply untrue. Sounds like the fuzzy math of a certain ilk who like to inflate their figures via faulty calculations. - 8:54 PM GMT-5


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Written by: Lennon
Recorded: July-August 1973
Producer: John Lennon
Released: 16 November 1973 (UK), 29 October 1973 (US)
John Lennon: vocals, guitar
David Spinozza: guitar
Peter E 'Sneaky Pete' Kleinow: pedal steel guitar
Ken Ascher: keyboards
Michael Brecker: saxophone
Gordon Edwards: bass guitar
Jim Keltner: drums
Available on:
Mind Games
Opening the second half of the Mind Games album, Intuition was a rare upbeat song by John Lennon in praise of positivity.
Some of Lennon's best songs had been written about his doubts and fears, and he had been celebrated for his willingness to reveal his innermost feelings. However, he had rarely sang his own praises in song.
Lennon recorded a home demo of Intuition in the summer of 1973. Recorded on piano, at this time he had completed the verses and had the tune for the chorus, but was without a lyrical hook. On the recording he sang the middle section of How? and the final verse of God in an attempt to find inspiration to finish it. Clearly his intuition wasn't yet leading him in the right direction.
When recorded for Mind Games it became a jaunty pop song driven by bass guitar and keyboards. However, it's hard to believe that the man who had written something as creative as Strawberry Fields Forever or as urgent as Revolution could be quite this pedestrian, and Intuition marks a low point in Lennon's creativity.
Lyrically, it was at odds with much of the rest of Mind Games, which was made at a time when Lennon's marriage to Yoko Ono was hitting the rocks. A phrase like "It's good to be alive" would be replaced with more soul-searching in the coming months when certainty turned to upheaval.


text: Google Maps to map your packagesKeith Robinson1/10/06 4:00pmFiled to: Google MapsMapsPackage TrackingTop03EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkThis image was lost some time after publication.Package Mapper is yet another interesting use of Google Maps.AdvertisementPackage Mapper shows you a map of your FedEx, UPS, USPS package routes. Enter a carrier and a tracking number to see your package's progress plotted on the map. Sign in to enter a list of packages and see their current locations on a table or map.Package Mapper [via Waxy.org]ReplyLeave a reply


text:
Note: Using the Microsoft Graph APIs to configure Intune controls and policies still requires that the Intune service is correctly licensed by the customer.
Create a new deviceManagementExchangeConnector object.
One of the following scopes is required to execute this API:
POST /deviceManagement/exchangeConnectors/
Header | Value |
Authorization | Bearer <token> Required. |
Accept | application/json |
In the request body, supply a JSON representation of a deviceManagementExchangeConnector object. The following table shows the properties that are required when you create a deviceManagementExchangeConnector.
Property | Type | Description |
id | String | Not yet documented |
lastSyncDateTime | DateTimeOffset | Last sync time for the Exchange Connector |
status | String | Exchange Connector Status Possible values are: connectionPending , connected , disconnected , none . |
primarySmtpAddress | String | Email address used to configure the Service To Service Exchange Connector. |
serverName | String | The name of the server hosting the Exchange Connector. |
exchangeConnectorType | String | The type of Exchange Connector Configured. Possible values are: onPremises , hosted , serviceToService , dedicated . |
If successful, this method returns a 201 Created
response code and a deviceManagementExchangeConnector object in the response body.
Here is an example of the request.
POST https://graph.microsoft.com/beta/deviceManagement/exchangeConnectors/
Content-type: application/json
Content-length: 292
"@odata.type": "#microsoft.graph.deviceManagementExchangeConnector",
"lastSyncDateTime": "2017-01-01T00:02:49.3205976-08:00",
"status": "connected",
"primarySmtpAddress": "Primary Smtp Address value",
"serverName": "Server Name value",
"exchangeConnectorType": "hosted"
Here is an example of the response. Note: The response object shown here may be truncated for brevity. All of the properties will be returned from an actual call.
HTTP/1.1 201 Created
Content-Type: application/json
Content-Length: 341
"@odata.type": "#microsoft.graph.deviceManagementExchangeConnector",
"id": "e11c1de8-1de8-e11c-e81d-1ce1e81d1ce1",
"lastSyncDateTime": "2017-01-01T00:02:49.3205976-08:00",
"status": "connected",
"primarySmtpAddress": "Primary Smtp Address value",
"serverName": "Server Name value",
"exchangeConnectorType": "hosted"


text:
British Columbia Estate Files (FamilySearch Historical Records)
This article describes a collection of historical records available at FamilySearch.org. | |
Access the records: British Columbia, Estate Files, 1859-1949 .
Record Description
These records include probate estate files for the Judicial Districts of British Columbia. The Records were created by either the County Court or the Supreme Court. The years vary by court and locality, and indexes exist for the following districts, Vancouver and Victoria. The Victoria index is found in this record collection: British Columbia Wills, 1861-1939; Index, 1861-1981.
In British Columbia, estates were probated for perhaps 10 percent of the heads of household before 1900.
The clerk of the court retained all original documents about a case in a probate packet or probate estate papers (also known as estate packets, case files, or estate files). The estate files contain the original wills, petitions, letters, bonds, inventories, settlements, and other records. Some or all of these documents may also have been copied in separate books.
Probate records were kept by probate or surrogate courts. Often the size of the estate determined which court held jurisdiction. Search the records of all probate courts in all places where the individual had property.
The article, Canada Probate Records contains more information about this collection.
For a list of records by localities and dates currently published in this collection, select the Browse link from the collection landing page.
Citation for This Collection
The following citation refers to the original source of the information published in FamilySearch.org Historical Record collections. It may include the author, custodian, publisher and archive for the original records.
- "British Columbia, Estate Files, 1859-1949." Images. FamilySearch. http://FamilySearch.org : accessed 2013. Citing British Columbia Archives and Records Service, Victoria.
Suggested citation format for a record in this collection.
Record Content
These will records may include the following information:
- Name of deceased
- Death place
- Names of children, spouse and other family members
- Names of witnesses
- Date of will (may include death date)
These letters of administration records may include the following information:
- Name of deceased
- Date of death and place of death
- Name of spouse and children
How to Use the Record
For you to make your search successful in this collection, it would be helpful if you knew the following information:
- Name of deceased
- Approximate year and place of death
Search the Collection
To search the collection image by image select "Browse through images" on the initial collection page:
⇒Select the appropriate "Judicial District/Locality"
⇒Select the appropriate "Court"
⇒Select the appropriate "Record Type, Date Range, File or Volume Numbers" which will take you to the images.
Look at the images one by one comparing the information with what you already know about your ancestors to determine if the image relates to them. You may need to look at several images and compare the information about the individuals listed in those images to your ancestors to make this determination.
Using the Information
When you have found the information that you are looking for, the following will help you in your research:
- Use the name of the spouse and your ancestor's name to search for a marriage record.
- Search for the names of the family members found in the record in the British Columbia, Birth Registrations, 1854-1903 collection to find their birth dates.
Unable to Find Your Ancestor?
If you can't find any information on your ancestor in the Estate Files, you can try the following:
- Look where your ancestor was living at the time of the last census. That will give you a clue to finding the county of the death place where your ancestor was probated.
- Search the Canadian Mortality Schedules to find a death place for your ancestor.
- Look in the British Columbia, Naturalization Records, 1859-1926 collection. That will give you a clue on where your ancestor is currently residing at the time of naturalization.
In English Canada, probate records were kept by probate or surrogate courts. Often the size of the estate determined which court held jurisdiction. Search the records of all probate courts in all places where the individual had property.
While probate records are one of the most accurate sources of genealogical evidence, use them with some caution because:
- They may remove the names of deceased family members or those who previously received an inheritance.
- The spouse mentioned in a will may not be the parent of the children mentioned.
- Relationships noted in the records may not have the same meaning today.
General Information About These Records
There are indexes available in this collection of images. The indexes are in individual folders. Find your ancestor's name and look for the page, entry, certificate number or book number next to their name. This will help you find the record you are looking for in the collection.
Related Websites
- British Columbia Archives
- Probate British Columbia Archives Estate Guide
- British Columbia Archives Wills Guide
- British Columbia Archives Land Records Guide
Related Wiki Articles
- British Columbia Land and Property Records
- Canada Probate Records
- Canada Notarial Records
- Canada Land Records
- Canada Land and Property Records
Contributions to This Article
We welcome user additions to FamilySearch Historical Records wiki articles. We are looking for additional information that will help readers understand the topic and better use the available records. We also need translations for collection titles and images in articles about records written in languages other than English. For specific needs, please visit WikiProject FamilySearch Records. Please follow these guidelines as you make changes. Thank you for any contributions you may provide. |
Citing FamilySearch Historical Collections
When you copy information from a record, you should list where you found the information. This will help you or others to find the record again. It is also good to keep track of records where you did not find information, including the names of the people you looked for in the records.
A suggested format for keeping track of records that you have searched is found in the wiki article Help:How to Cite FamilySearch Collections.
Citation Example for a Record Found in This Collection
This citation example isn't from this collection. You can help by replacing this example with a citation for a record found in this collection. |
"Argentina, Buenos Aires, Catholic Church Records, 1635-1981," images, FamilySearch (https://familysearch.org: accessed 28 February, 2012), La Plata > San Ponciano > Matrimonios 1884-1886 > image 71 of 389 images, Artemio Avendano and Clementina Peralta, 1884; citing Parroquia de San Ponciano en la Plata, Buenos Aires, Argentina, Matrimonios. San Ponciano, La Plata, Buenos Aires.


text:
This content can be bought using AIChE Member Credits. If you are a member and want to purchase with your Credits, please click here to log in. Or, click here to purchase the content using money.
Return to Observing and Modeling Cellulosic Substrate Depolymerization by Commercial Enzyme Cocktails Using Confocal Fluorescence Microscopy


text:
The Soref JCC strongly believes in the basic tenet of inclusion that all people regardless of disability should have the same opportunities and involvement in the community as their "typically developing" peers. As such, we embrace the diversity of everyone's abilities by serving all.
Our inclusionary afterschool, preschool, and summer camp programs allow all children to experience patience, giving, compassion and friendship in their everyday environments.
Children with special needs are those who have a physical, developmental, sensory or learning disability that results in significant difficulties in areas such as communication, self care, attention or behavior and are in need of more structured and intense supervision. This includes disabilities such as developmental delays, hearing impairments, speech or language impairments, visual impairments, serious emotional disturbances, physical impairments, autism, traumatic brain injury, other health impairments, or specific learning disabilities; and who, by reason thereof, need special education and related services.
Our JCC further extends the definition of special needs children to include those who have suffered from abuse and neglect. To that end, our strong partnership with Jewish Adoption & Foster Care Options (JAFCO) enables many such children to attend our high quality preschool, afterschool, and summer camp programs.
The JCC, throughout its 39 year history in Broward County, has embraced and practiced inclusion for all residents in need. Our passion is evidenced by the large number of children and families who find a loving, nurturing environment at the JCC through academic enrichment, cultural arts programs and fitness activities.
Our special needs adult programs enable participation in a potpourri of activities and classes that otherwise would be unavailable. We are very proud of our unique partnership with the Jewish Community Center Association for the Deaf (JCCAD) that has made them an integral part of our JCC family.
We are pleased to provide meeting space at no charge for the Multiple Sclerosis Society of Broward County. This wonderful organization works to end the devastating effects of MS through extensive research to find the cause, cure and improved treatments of the disease.
The Leonard Farber Aquatic Center at the Perlman Family Campus is equipped with a hydraulic disabilty lift that enables all residents to fully participate in aquatics. This disability lift was made possible through a grant from the Broward County Parks and Recreation Department.
Our JCC is a proud recipient of a grant from the Elderly & Persons with Disabilities Program administered by the Florida Department of Transportation. This generous grant enabled us to purchase a vehicle that serves needy residents of Broward County.
The JCC partners with numerous local agencies to extend our reach in pursuing our mission to help Broward County residents in need. Just a few of the many agencies that help assist us in our endeavors are 2-1-1 First Call For Help of Broward, Henderson Mental Health Center, and Jewish Family Service of Broward County. Much of the assistance we receive from these agencies is channeled through our WECARE Food Pantry Outreach Program that helps to meet the needs of Broward County residents in crisis.
We are always seeking to expand our services to an increased number of special needs children to enable them to attend our wide variety of children's programs. There is a significant cost for our JCC to provide services for special needs children and therefore we are very grateful to receive generous financial assistance from many premier organizations that include the following:
Call Judy Kissel for further information at (954) 587-7033 or e-mail email@example.com.


text:
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Bandsaw Blades - 3 replies Hello Lumberjocks! Thanks for the great responses about the Longsworth chuck! New question is about bandsaw blades. I have a grizzly bandsaw and am looking for a good blade to saw logs in half and then cut out my bowl blanks. Have been looking at Highland and Timberwolf. Can I get away with one great blade for resawing and general use? All the ... |
"Big" Bowl Bottoms - 8 replies Hello friends! Thanks again for the advice on chucks. Ended up with PSI beginner one and its working just great. Today's question is about finishing the bottom of a big bowl 10"-16" in diameter. When i an working on a smaller diameter bowl 4-8" after separating the bowl from the tenon I simply turn it around and grab with... |


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Saturday, June 11, Park Place at master-planned Ontario Ranch is the place to be for homebuyers! Bring the family and friends for a fun and informative experience, including a free Homebuying Seminar from 11 a.m. to noon hosted by Wells Fargo Mortgage. From 11 to 3, visitors can enjoy a Spring Model Home Tour and enter a raffle drawing for an iPad Mini! Refreshments and activities for all will serve up a festive atmosphere.
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Park Place's exciting Spring event starts at The Parkhouse, a five-star 14,500-square-foot central gathering place for residents that boasts a resort-caliber swimming pool, fully equipped fitness and business centers, Wi-Fi, multiple game rooms, a library and state-of-the-art movie theater with club seating. A masterfully appointed catering kitchen and adjoining multipurpose room are ideal for hosting special celebrations in style. Three acres of beautiful grounds surround The Parkhouse and are home to tennis courts, a creative play area and a dog park. Picnics with friends, family and neighbors are a delight at Park Place's Celebration Park, where kids and adults alike will enjoy outdoor play, relaxation and socializing.
Park Place is the first Gigabit Community in Ontario Ranch, giving residents state-of-the-art internet service that makes waiting for the internet to speed up a thing of the past. One-gigabit high-speed fiber-optic internet service built in to new homes allows residents to download a full-length movie in less than 6 seconds and a photo in an instant.
Plans at Park Place include a future elementary school within walking distance of each neighborhood. Not only is Park Place served by an award-winning school district, it is located near many universities and higher-education institutions, including Azusa Pacific, Cal Poly Pomona, Chaffey College, Mt. San Antonio College, Platt College, Riverside Community College, The Art Institute of California, University of California Riverside, Western University of Health Sciences, Westwood College, and the highly acclaimed Claremont Colleges, one of which is among the nation's Top 10.
At Park Place, we're bringing home back to its authentic roots: incredible craftsmanship, beautiful and inviting places to gather and celebrate, all surrounded by shady trees and abundant places to play. You'll love the combination of modern floorplans, inspired architecture, and resort-caliber amenities. The wide variety in our detached residential collections ensures that everyone can go home again. And that's the way it should be.
Park Place offers the rewards of a prime location with so much to do so close to home. Hike, ski, camp, fish and more in the nearby mountains; shop 'til you drop at the popular Eastvale Gateway, Ontario Mills and Victoria Gardens shopping centers; hit the links at nearby golf courses; and spend a night on the town at local restaurants and theaters. If your work or business is your favorite pastime, you'll appreciate a commuter-friendly address that is conveniently located near Los Angeles, Riverside, San Bernardino and Orange Counties.