text:
P.S. Send help
by Zoe C.
The Appalachian Trail Diary of
Maura Kelly Colleen O'Reilly Finnegan
Written by
Maura Kelly Colleen O'Reilly Finnegan
Illustrated by
Maura Kelly Colleen O'Reilly Finnegan
Edited by
Maura Kelly Colleen O'Reilly Finnegan
Jane Q. Citizen Press
Sunday, 1 May
I'd rather be dead.
Tuesday, 3 May
Dear God. Just shoot me, it'd be more humane.
Wednesday, 4 May
Whose idea was this, anyway? I must've been stupider than I thought when I signed on for this stupid ass assignment. Jesus, could it be any worse? Yesterday it rained all friggin' day and by the time I reached the lean-to (aka heap of shit, mouse-infested shack) I was soaked so badly that I might as well have been hiking naked. I think I'm permanently pruney. And you better believe pruney is NOT a good look on me. I look like a raisin with legs.
And I have chafing. CHAFING, I say. My thighs are rubbed completely raw. They look like raw hamburger. It's enough to make me want to puke. They HURT!!
Wet wool stinks bad. It couldn't possibly smell any worse if I shoved my head up a wet sheep's ass.
And I won't even bother mentioning that I ache, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I have a huge, gaping blister on my right heel that's oozing some sort of puke green, smelly fluid.
This is probably the high point of my day.
But I suppose I deserve it for letting Murray talk me into this. I swear to God I'm such a schmuck. I should just tattoo "DUMBFUCK" on my forehead and be done with it. (His should read "ASSHOLE".)
"Time alone to sort things out" he said. Moron.
"It'll make a great series of articles." Dick.
"It'll help you lose weight". I like being portly, thanks.
Speaking of packs (okay, I wasn't, but I needed a segue), I crested this short (Short? ha! The trail guide LIED!!!), easy (another outright LIE) hill this morning, and when I saw more short, easy hills as far as the bloodshot eye could see, all I wanted to do at that point was chunk my god-blamed pack and every fucking thing in it over the side of the mountain.
I should've hired someone to carry this idiot thing. Or rented a llama. (couldn't smell any worse than I do, for Christ sake)
Can you ride a llama? They got souvenir shops along the trail?
"Hi. I'm looking for your top of the line, luxury model llama. You got any in stock? I'd like it in a light pearl gray, extra-soft, non-itchy wool, thanks."
Or I should've just stayed at home in bed with the curtains closed and the covers over my head.
Damn. Now I have to go pee. And it's almost dark. I hate going out there in the dark. Christ knows what's lurking out there waiting to get me.
FUCK! I have to go.
Back. Nothing got me (obviously). Too bad. A mauling by a bear couldn't make me feel any worse right now.
Time to fire up the old stove to make dinner. It's this single burner propane piece of junk that has yet to work properly. Whoever wrote the directions to the idiot thing oughta be shot between the eyes. Last night it took me the better part of an hour trying to light the bastard. I wrestled it to the ground, but it put the big ol' smack down on me. I finally gave up and just ate a piece of pita bread with peanut butter and a granola bar. Whoopdy-friggin-do.
Here's a good one... I met some northbound thru-hikers this morning. They started down south (duh. Why else would they be going north?), and the morons were still smiling after thousands of miles. Said what a great day they were having.
They must smoke dope.
"Step away from the crack pipe, kids."
I shoulda heaved them over the side of the mountain. Assholes.
ALRIGHT! I'm going. I hear a big ol' envelope of Lipton Oodles of Noodles calling my name. Yippy. Fucking stove better work.
WoooHOOOO!!! I got it to work on the first try. There I was cursing the piece of junk up one side and down the other when it made a tiny little sound and poofed on. Nothing beats a hot cup of soup and a bagel (only half. I was actually full after all that. Go figure). Now I'm sipping on some hot choc and eating a handful of GORP.
Good God I'm tired.
Thursday, 5 May
I hate birds.
I hate trees.
I hate leaves
and rocks
and stones
and grass
and bugs.
Oh yeah, and I hate Murray (the rat bastard).
Friday, 6 May
Another wonderful day on the good old Appalachian Trail. I've determined that God and Murray both, hate me.
It didn't start off too badly this morning, to be honest. Last night, after brushing my teeth and washing up with ice cold water (that was less fun than shoving bamboo splinters under my fingernails), I threw on my extra wool sweater and socks (it's fucking cold out here at night... and during the day... and at twilight... and at dawn...), and slithered into my bag. Slept good until some dumbass bird started pecking on a tree out there. At first it scared the shit out of me because I thought someone was knocking on the door and I couldn't figure out who it would be. I mean, I'm in the middle of God's country... for God's sake, man! A thousand different battle tactics flashed through my mind... in about a New York second. Shooting... no gun. Stabbing... my three inch pocket knife is pretty useless as a weapon, I would think. Bludgeoning... not a freaking blunt weapon in sight.
So I decided the best course of action was to lay there and pretend I was already dead.
But then I cried, "Eureka!" because there isn't a door, these loveshacks only have 3 sides. After I figured that out, it just plain pissed me off. If I DID have a gun, I woulda shot the stupid thing.
Him and Murray both.
After a quick breakfast of warmed pita bread, coffee, and yet another granola bar (what can I say? keeps me regular), I grabbed my roll of TP and my trowel (I emulate the cat, whatever the fuck that means. Actually, I dig a small hole, leave a few friends, then bury them)
Now where the hell was I? Oh yeah, on the GOD-FORSAKEN APPALACHIAN TRAIL!!!!!!!!!!
But anyway, I went for my morning constitutional (less than a week after starting this NIGHTMARE, I can poopy in the woods. Cool, huh? I'm so damned proud of myself). Then I hoisted (like that word?) my pack and went on my very merry way.
That lasted maybe an hour, tops.
I started to get warm, right? So I took off my windbreaker/raincoat/thingamajig (whatever), and I'll be damned if it didn't start to POUR 10 minutes later. Another day of swimming the ol' Appalachian POND instead of hiking it.
Hey, sounds like someone is coming. COMPANY!!! Cool.
Company, my ass. It was some kid and his girl doing a week hike. Nice, but I think they're dopeheads. His trail name is Scrounge, and hers is Tweety.
I think mine oughta be RETARD.
I told them my trail name is Pinhead. I don't think they believed me. Shows what they know.
I better think of a real t-name.
Dink? Uh, no.
Dippingham? No thank you.
Dooda? Ha ha.
I see I'm on this D kick.
DAISY! That's it, I'll be Daisy.
I like it.
Yay, now they want to make small talk.
I hate small talk.
Well, here's the extent of our conversation-
"How's goin'?" or whatever Scroungey-boy said. I couldn't really tell because he looked like he had a mouthful of something green. And viscous. Sorta like the stuff that was weeping from my blister a couple days ago. Pretty tasty looking.
"Sup?" Tweety
"Nuttin" Me
"Like, cool, dude." Scrounge
"Way cool, man." Airhead
"In case you two clowns hadn't noticed, I'm a woman... a DUDETTE. Assholes. Night."
Okay, I didn't say that last bit, exactly, but I sure as hell wanted to. The conversation lasted all of... oh, 32.5 seconds. Then I came back to my bag. I left them sitting around the fire ring smoking some weed.
Or at least I think it was weed. Could've been honest-to-God wild weeds, for all I know.
Shit. I hope they're not going my way.
Saturday, 7 May
I am relaxing in my slumber bag by the waning light of the dying sun. The sun is setting over the western horizon like a giant, blazing sphere in the cerulean sky of near-twilight.
It's cold, I'm tired, and I'm hating Murray.
I'll never understand what possessed me to go along with that Fat Ass' "brilliant" (HA!) idea.
1. I thought I needed a change. But, Christ, I could've bought a BOAT and had a cool change like the Little River Dudes. Wouldn't have required so much physical exertion.
2. I was lonely. Shoulda bought a CAT.
3. I needed to clear my head. Fans were on sale at Wal-Mart, now that I think about it. Damn, I missed it.
Ah hell, there is no 4. I thought... I thought nothing. It's that simple. I deserve this. Honest to God, I do. I went along with his fucking idea, so I deserve to be tortured and crucified like this. It serves me right.
All these hours alone with myself really suck.
Maybe someday I'll be glad I did this.
Or not.
I'm hungry. Probably because I actually ate pretty good today. This morning, at the crack of ass (did I mention yet that I hate birds?), I was munching on some GORP and toasted pita (okay, I stuck the fucker on a stick and held a match under it until the match burned out) with a spritz of peanut butter (don't ask how to spritz peanut butter. I don't know, and I don't really give a shit. It just sounds good) and touch of cinnamon and sugar. A little piss-warm cocoa washed it down. Then for lunch I had tuna and Italian dressing (I have about 6 million of those little packages they give you at McDonald's. I went "shopping" there before I left.) in a pita, with some dried apricot and banana chips. The apricot chips were tasty. Kinda sweet.
This fine evening I think I'll have some shells and sauce with half a bagel.
Something interesting (I doubt it) I read in one of those worthless trail guides written by some schmuck who never set foot on a trail- reuse pasta water for hot cocoa. Choc masks the starchy taste & you get the benefit of extra carbs.
Sounds like it'll taste like shit. But I'll give it a whirl. The most I'll do is waste an envelope of hc. I have about 12 dozen of those, so I can stand to waste one or two in the interest of scientific experimentation.
Well, there you have it. I'll be damned if it didn't work. It tastes okay. So, here I am just lounging by the fire (that I started, thank you kindly) under the stars. It's pr
Jesus God up above. A skunk just waddled across the clearing. For the love of Christ and all the saints in heaven. I smelled the fat fuck from here and it was a good 25 ft away. I just closed my eyes & prayed the bastard would leave.
It did, praise God. It didn't spray or anything. I'd have just laid here sobbing if it did. I read that it takes WEEKS to get the stink out of your clothes and skin and stuff, if you even can at all. It's either wait or burn everything that got sprayed.
Or I'd have been pissed enough to hunt it down and kill it barehanded. Just like my Native American ancestors used to do.
Too bad I'm 100% Irish and not Native American. Oh well. I still woulda killed the beasty thing.
You know something? This idiot trail guide said it was just over 5 miles from the last lean-to to this one. I quote: "The segment of trail from the Poplar Run shelter to the Hickory Downs shelter has a moderate 5% incline. The trail is well maintained by the local AT (Appalachian Trail) Club. The total length of trail is 5.4 miles."
They must not have had their meeting this month. Well-maintained, my ass. This morning, I came up on this tree that fell across the trail. You want to know what I had to do? I had to take my pack off, heave it OVER the tree, then crawl UNDER it myself. Can you believe that crap? I thought about just going around, but I was too afraid I'd get lost and remain forever wandering in the woods of northern Maine, looking for my shoes that are on my feet. Or whatever.
And a moderate incline, their ass. I was practically crawling up that "moderate" hill. Everything I own, from my underwear to my boots is muddy.
At least I'm color coordinated.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Maybe I'll take a day of rest, wash clothes, and thank the good Lord above for sending me on this most wondrous journey of self-exploration and discovery.
Self-exploration. Heh.
Scrap the thanking God bit. Instead I'll curse Murray. That's more fun.
Gee, I'm feeling up for a little self-exploration.
Feeling up. Heh.
Sunday, 8 May
It's a lovely day. Really. It's not raining. It's not cold. I'm not freezing. It's quite nice for a change. The sun is warm, bless my soul.
Let's see, today I did wash my clothes. Used a bit of that baby shampoo I brought with me for just that purpose- washing clothes (and me). Some stupid book that I read said "Do not use soap on clothes, as it is difficult to rinse out all the soap, and residual soap on clothes can cause skin irritations and rashes."
Up yours, pal. My clothes stink and need to be washed, especially my underwear.
Maybe I just won't wear any anymore.
Now THERE'S a plan if I've ever heard one. Blech. Talk about stink...
I even washed my hair and took a sponge bath (now that was just LOADS of fun). All with COLD water, of course. Although I did heat up a pot of water to take the chill off. Keep in mind that the friggin' pot is about two cups big. Two cups. Two cups to rinse my hair. Do you have ANY idea how many two cup pots it takes to rinse my hair? Believe me, it takes a LOT.
ad infinitum, or
however you say
And it seems that cold water does nothing to tame this rat's nest I call my hair. I shoulda shaved my head before I came out here. Now, because I have no conditioner, it's frizzier than it normally is.
HEY! Maybe I'll braid it and leave the braids in. Go for that dreadlock look.
Oh yeah, that's rich. That'd look wonderful with my orange hair, freckled skin, and round face. I can see it now...
RUN! Don't WALK! It's Gossamer, the IRISH BEAST!!!!! Auugghhh!!!
Sounds great, doesn't it?
Anyhoooo, my clothes, what there are of them, are hanging on the bushes to dry. Speaking of clothes, here's what I packed:
-3 pairs underwear (I just turn 'em inside out the next day. Smart, huh?)
-2 prs cotton liner socks
-1 pr wool socks
-1 pr army pants (I got 'em on sale at the army/navy surplus. They're all the rage... in country, thank you very much. They're the latest fad... with guerrilla fighters, maybe. Or Jane Goodall, Monkey Woman extraordinaire)
-1 sportsbra (hot pink checked)
-2 standard-issue 2X-large, white men's v-neck t-shirts
-1 long-sleeved flannel shirt
-1 wool ski hat (with ties, to wear at night when my ears damn near freeze off)
-1 pr gloves
-1 rainsuit consisting of poncho and pants (in safety orange they match my hair)
-2 bandannas
-water shoes (to wear around the shack, I mean shelter, and for water activities. Heh. I like activities that make me wet)
All of which is shoved inside a heavy-duty garbage bag then shoved inside my pack, which is shoved up my ass.
Kidding. At least about the shoved up my ass part.
On top of that, I wear the following (all that up there is just extra stuff. I can't wait until it's warm enough that I can burn it and carry a couple pairs of shorts and nothing else. Or maybe I'll go aboriginal and just wear a loincloth. That'd be pretty. NOT):
-underwear & bra
-army pants (urban assault this time... quite lovely to look upon, I'm sure)
-flannel shirt (with collar to turn up in case of inclement weather or when I want to go incognito)
-wool sweater (that Gran knit... I hope it rots to shreds out here, it's so fucking ugly. It's this hideous shade of orange, and it's fuzzy and nappy... oh wait, that's my hair, not the sweater. Whoopsy)
-socks (liner and wool)
-boots (that are finally getting broken in. No more gaping wounds for me)
-gaiters (to cover my boots and lower legs. They don't do much when it pours, but they look damned good)
-1 surplus desert army hat (with neck loop)
That's it. The rainsuit I keep handy for those times (every goddamned day) when it rains. By the time I get it out and on, though, it's too late. I'm soaked and squishing.
The book I read suggested all this fancy shit... polypropylene, synthetic this, polartec that. I just raided my dad's closet and picked up the rest at the a/n store. I spent a whopping $57.22 there. Or rather Murray did. I made the fat bastard buy everything. It's the least the shit could do.
I may look like somebody's orphan cousin, but it works. I'm not too fucking cold.
Most of the time.
So that's my clothing list.
I better go make something to eat then pack all this stuff back up so I can move out tomorrow.
I sound so John Wayne.
Tuesday, 9 May
This blows. God, who the fuck knew it'd be so LONELY?!?!?!
But, the goods news (or less bad news) is that I should be at my first mail stop by Thursday. Gotta resupply.
There's that John Wayne thing again.
Falling Elm is this tiny little town that I mailed a package to right before I left. Extra supplies and stuff. Murray's supposed to be mailing stuff to the rest of the mail stops.
When I get there, I'm gonna call Murray and tell HIM to do this stupid trail hike thing and I'll go home.
And do his wife.
HA! She'd probably divorce the ass and want to move in with me. I've seen her, thanks. Here's what she looks like (on a GOOD day).
Stuff of nightmares, I tell you.
But the daughter... wooey, now she's a looker.
If you're into Pug dogs.
Anyway, enough about clan of the cave bear. Today's big news... went through a field of early wildflowers and saw lots of pretty, colorful butterflies. I tried to see how many I could crush under the heel of my boot. Got 8 of the winged creatures before I got out of the field.
So that's that.
I need a hobby. I doubt mortally wounding innocent insects counts.
Well, in MY circle of friends it does.
Wednesday, 10 May
Well FUCK. I didn't make town today. Fuck, I didn't even make the next shelter, much less town. So here I am, my first night REALLY on the trail.
I'm scared shitless. Good thing I at least followed the book and packed extra food.
I swear to God, I feel like someone's watching me.
Fucking spooky.
So, to keep my mind off the fact that I'm alone in some backwoods... woods, no people around for MILLIONS of miles, here's what happened to me today.
I met a stream (and introduced myself quite politely, but it never answered back, the spineless prick), and instead of crossing right there on the trail like I SHOULD have, I got the brilliantly genius idea to hike downstream a ways to see if there was a better spot.
HELLO?? The first rule of hiking... stay on the fucking trail, no matter how stupid it seems. Serves me right, I guess. I swear, I must've hiked 8 miles out of my way. And I never found a good spot, either. Had to wade through in water thigh deep. It would've been only about ankle deep at the trail.
I'm such a bonehead.
Let's see... equipment. I listed my clothes, what there is of them, and now how 'bout my equipment?
Right-o, then.
And I'm just writing so I don't get too spooked out. It's getting darker. The woods grow more menacing by the minute. The savage beasts awaken from their slumber, hungry for the taste of human flesh and thirsting for blood. Saliva drips from gleaming, wicked, sharp fangs as the beasts go on their midnight prowl fo
I'm going the FUCK HOME TOMORROW
Fuck him and his series.
Christ! You know it's time to go home when a snapping twig makes you piss yourself. Literally.
Holy shit... someone IS coming. Hang on.
Well well well. PS Somebodyorother has just made her grand entrance into my rustic little home-away-from-home in the woods of northern Maine. She strolled right on through like she owned the place. Truth be told, I'm camped right on the trail. Fuck whoever said to camp off the trail. It's even darker up in the woods, and thereby spookier.
Anyway, she smiled, said hi, then just moved on. Next thing I know, she's back. For Christ sake, how do I know she's not some kind of serial killer preying on innocent, solitary hikers?
Too bad she doesn't look the type. She's about 18 feet tall (okay, maybe 5'9 tops. But to my whopping 5'1.5, she LOOKS 18 feet tall.), built like a sycamore tree, and dark as the darkest night. Yup, that's right, she's obviously African-American (see? I can be politically correct), and she's mighty sturdy looking.
That's another way of saying BUFF.
It's the eyes. They're not shifty and beady like a killers. Not that I've seen many killers up close. Okay, no killers up close, but they're supposed to have shifty, beady eyes, aren't they? Hers, though, are big and chocolatey and... honest. And her smile when she came back looked open and friendly-like.
But I'm not going to be fooled that easily. No, sir. Not me. I'll be sleeping with one eye open tonight, that's for sure.
Anyway here's how our conversation went...
"Hi." Her
"What do you want?" Swear to God I asked that. No greeting, no smile, nothing.
"Well, I was on my way to the next shelter, but you looked kinda lonely, so I decided to come back and keep you company."
Gee, that's mighty whi- nice of you, Granola girl. But I didn't say that, praise God. She probably woulda yanked me up by my kinky orange hair and put a whoopin' on me second to none.
Too bad she didn't, I might've LIKED it.
She asked me my name and I told her Retard. I don't think she found that funny. I did. She just looked at me. And waited.
I told her Daisy. Seemed more agreeable to that.
Then she sat down across the trail. Never told me her name. So I had to ask.
That's all she said.
Next thing I know, she's opening up her pack (which is the size of a bookbag, for God's sake), looking like she's getting comfy.
What the fuck? PS- Get outta my camp.
I just asked her what PS stands for. Know what she said? Of course you don't. You weren't here. Postage Stamp. Said that's her name.
Do I LOOK stupid?
Don't answer that.
So here we sit. Me next to my surplus bivy tent, her near her... tube tent. And that would be... what?
PS- Get a real tent.
Jesus, you oughta see what she's carrying.
And that would be NO-THING. Or sorta nothing, anyway.
Wanna know what she pulled out of her pack? A stupid little metal box. She unfolded it and set it on a flat rock, then she unhooked some kinda canvas sack from her belt and pulled twigs and shit out of it. Shoved most of it into her metal box.
I'd like to shove MY twig into her metal box.
Holy SMOKES! I swear to God she just used two rocks to make a fire. What the fuck is that all about? Rocks and fire?
Oooh, I gotta watch this.
Wow. I think I'm impressed. Ol' PS said it was flint and steel. I had no ever-loving idea they still made that stuff. Go figure.
Wait. She's doing something else.
A pot. She just took a pot like mine from her pack.
HARK! Now she's setting the pot on the stove-thing an
Bitch! She just scared the shit out of me. Here I am studying her every move and POW! she slapped a bug off her shoulder. Fuck. I thought she was coming for me. Made me fall right off the ground.
Believe me that looks stupid.
I think my hair is standing up even more now.
And I think I saw her smirk.
PS- I hate you.
Friday, 13 May
It's Friday the 13th.
And a goddamned full moon.
I'm SCARED.
Good thing Granola girl is still with me.
PS- Don't let me die.
At least not alone.
Well now, it's been a while (okay, only one fucking day, but who's counting?), but I think I've finally come to terms with having PS around. She's not bad, really.
If she'd shut up and stop telling me about the indigenous flora and fauna, that is.
Who gives a rat's ass about the flora and fauna, indigenous or not? Not me, I say.
You know that old song by Men at Work. Land down under (I bet you the old gal has a mighty fine land down under.), or whatever it's called? There's that part in the very beginning that goes(and make sure you sing it to the right tune, damn it)-
Wearin' Fitch and Abercrombie
On a hippie trail head full of zombies (fitting for Friday the 13th, huh?)
I met a strange lady
She made me horny
But she looked at me like I was corny.
OH! I want to stroke her land down under
Without so much as one slight little blunder
Can't you feel, can't you feel me down under?
PS- don't run, PS- don't take cover.
I certainly could've sang with Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
And Gossamer. HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA
I offered to share my dinner with her, but she just waved a power bar at me. Guess that means no.
Good. More for me.
When I lit up my GAS stove, she looked at me with strong disapproval. So I crossed my eyes at her and made a face. Then I went about my business.
I am fucking TIRED!
And she's very good.
Saturday, 14 May
I'm sitting on a bed writing this.
Yup, that's right. A bed. You know, that metal thing that has a mattress, some sheets and blankets, a pillow or two? An honest-to-God BED!!!!!
And I actually smell like something other than smoke and b.o. It's wonderful. I felt so decadent in the shower earlier this afternoon. Kinda like I was bathing in butterscotch syrup. (What do you want? I don't like chocolate.) It took about twenty minutes to scrub all the grime and stink off. I almost asked for a brillo pad, but I didn't figure it would help my ever-so delicate skin very much.
Anyway, after my wonderfully luxurious and refreshing shower, Granola girl came for me.
Not like THAT.
At my door.
I mean, she knocked on my door to "escort" me to the general store. She escorts me a lot, I noticed.
So I grabbed my wallet and followed ol' Postage Stamp right out of the house we're staying in. This really old (we're talking ANCIENT here. I think they personally knew Noah. Or at least Moses.) couple has a couple of extra rooms they rent out to hikers. There's a bathroom and we can use the washer and dryer. Mrs. serves us breakfast in the morning, too. All for $12.00. Now that's a bargain.
Back to my wallet. I grabbed it. Like I already said. It has my calling card in it, and I fully intended on using it to call Murray so I could tell him just what I think of this fucking field trip to Shangri-La he sent me on.
We strolled down Oak and made a left onto Main Street.
Want to know what Main St. Falling Elm, ME consists of? A feed store, a general store/laundry, and the post office. I felt like I was doing the Time Warp (again). I mean, after all, it's just a hop to the left, then a step to the right. And some other things.
I think.
But wait. Before I get started on THAT little tidbit, let me start with this morning.
Once again I was up at the crack of ass, but as I peeked out of my no-see-um net window, guarenteed to keep no-see-ums out... what the fuck is a no-see-um, anyway? Me-um don't know-um. And if you can't see-um, how the hell do you know they're there? According to the (worthless) manual I read, they're a tiny little biting fly that's a real nuisance in these parts.
How is that possible? If it's so small you can't even see-um, how can you possibly feel-um? I think it's just the tent company's way of getting more monkeys out of us schmuck-ums.
Good thing I didn't buy that thing. Guess who did? That's right... MURRAY!!
So, ANYWAY, when I looked out the stupid window, there she was, sitting near her tube tent. In a tube top. Definitely something terrific to wake up to, that's for sure.
I didn't know if she was sleeping or communing with Mother Nature. So I did the only thing I could.
I screamed at the top of my lungs. I think I strained something I screamed so loud.
It was funny. At least I thought so.
She snapped her head up so fast I heard all her bones crack.
She glared at me, but I just unzipped my no-see-um (whatever) window enough to stick my hand out and wiggle my fingers.
She didn't talk to me the rest of the day.
That made me quite thankful. I didn't have to hear another hours-long lecture on AT etiquette or indigenous somethingorother.
PS- Thanks for being mad.
We made it here just after noon. And then it was shower time.
Apparently PS has done this backpacking thing enough around here to know the people. She led me right to the old folks' home and chatted with them like they were bestfriends.
So then she came to get me and we walked over to the general store.
Walking down the street was like freakin' "High Noon".
Only in technocolor.
I expected to see gunslingers lurking in every shadow. If I closed one of my eyes and tilted my head to the side, the guy I saw reading the paper (all of 10 pages, just so you know. That's not even a quarter of the classifieds at home, for Christ sake) looked a lot like Cary Grant.
Or maybe Drew Cary, I'm not really sure.
It was the glare, what you do want?
Anyway, my girl PS led me to the store. What an experience that was. Now I know how Rod Serling felt tripping it to the Twilight Zone.
We walked up to this old guy sitting in a chair with his feet up on the rail. I swear to God I thought he was dead. PS started talking to him, but, hell, I looked around for a stick to poke him with to check if he was alive.
I almost fell off the porch when he answered her. He never even moved. Not one muscle of his body moved. He was sitting on the porch of the store, his head slumped on his chest that was slumped on his body that was slumped in the chair. He had a big, dusty cowboy hat perched on his head, covering his face. I bet he's still there.
Anyway, she asked how the weather'd been lately. I thought "Holy fuck, who cares? Where's the food and the phone?"
After schmoozing the old guy for a decade or so, we went inside. Know what he said? "Help yerselves."
He never came in with us. PS told me to just leave the money on the counter.
Back home, when (if) he came back in, he'd see an empty store. They'd even steal the cobwebs and dead flies.
When I saw the place, I know my jaw dropped to the floor. "We're not in Kansans anymore, Toto."
Without even acknowledging me or my pithy comment, Toto went shopping.
PS- I ain't nevuh liked you.
While she looked around, I used the phone. Called Murray (who else?). When he answered I told him if he didn't spring me from Xanadu here, I was going to slit his throat, the prick bastard. Kubla Khan laughed, the asshole. Told me I haven't even been gone 2 weeks yet, give it one more week. Whatever. The last time I listened to him, I freaking ended up HERE.
So I hung up on him. After promising to get even with him, of course.
Maybe I'll Iron Maiden him. And I don't mean sing, either.
Or not. It'd be more satisfying to keep him alive so I can torture him for countless years to come.
Okay, here's the bad news for today (like being stuck here wasn't bad enough,). PS told me we're heading into the 100 Miles tomorrow.
100 fucking miles without a place to stop for supplies. Holy FUCK! I have to carry food for at least two weeks. My God, is that even possible? I looked at her in complete terror with a touch of horror thrown in for good measure. I asked if she was kidding. When she shook her head, I did the only thing left to me under the circumstances.
I threw myself at her and sobbed uncontrollably.
If I wasn't so preoccupied with fright, I would've laughed at the look on her face. She looked at me in horror. And she kept pushing me away, trying to get me off.
I wished she would've kept trying. I wanted her to get me off.
100 MILES!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Christ, I can't do that!
I think she patted me a half dozen times or so on the head, assuring me that I could do it. I felt vaguely canine-like.
We didn't buy anything at the store except a Pepsi each. And I bought licorice.
Dinner of champions, BABY!
Why we went to the general store is beyond me. PS said there's a Wal-Mart about 20 minutes away.
WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!! God bless Wal-Mart!!
On our way back to the old folks' home (I laugh every time I write that), we stopped at the post office. My bathroom at home is bigger than the po here.
I picked up my box and kissed it non-stop as we walked back to the house. When we got to my room, I opened the door and PS sort of hovered there in the doorway until I said, "Well get the hell in here and see what I got. Jesus."
"No. It's PS."
She's so very funny. NOT.
So anyway, I opened my box and dumped it onto the bed. More hc, pita, and packets of Lipton soup. And, wonder of wonders... a bag of Hugs. Hershey's Hugs, to be exact. I had forgotten I put those in there.
And there was some cash tucked into a new pair of wool socks. I think I'm going to mail my worst looking pair to Murray and tell him that's what I think of his field trip.
New socks... ah, the luxuries of life.
PS looked at the contents of my package with disdain. I shrugged, flipped her off, and told her I wasn't the bug-and-slug type like she is. She just shook her head and left.
See if I offer HER any hc.
Right now, I'm waiting for her to find us a chariot. Then she'll be back to escort me (there she goes again) to Wally-World.
Well, I'm back. We got in about 15 minutes ago from Marty. My pack is going to be 80 lbs heavier (give or take), and Murray is going to be about $50 lighter. Made him give me a company credit card which I just put to good use.
I mostly got pita bread, bagels, a couple of boxes of Velveeta mac & cheese (that I'll shove into some bags and toss the boxes) and squeeze cheese.
I fucking HATE squeeze cheese, but apparently, according to Miss Appalachian Trail, it has a shelf-life of about 7,000 years in an indestructible can. I think she said the Pharoahs in ancient Eypt filled this very can.
Maybe that's what she said. I ended up leaving her flapping her gums in the food aisle while I went carousing. I mean browsing. I just walked away. I don't even think she noticed that I wasn't there anymore, to be honest.
Also bought more water tablets, a bottle of chewable vitamins (I especially like to eat Wilma), and a snappy red-with-rainbow-brim hat to replace my boonie hat. The vitamins were her idea. Said I'd need the extra boost before long.
Fuck that. I'm hoping to be home before long.
Oh yeah! PS found me a tube tent like hers. So I bought it. It weighs like 22 oz, and my real tent weighs almost 7,000 lbs.
So long tent, hello tube!
I'm going to mail my other tent home to Murray along with the used socks.
Tried to find a tube TOP to match my tube TENT, but my search was fruitless. I was unable to find that which I was looking. For. I think that sentence is supposed to end with for. But that makes it a dangling participle.
I think.
Imagine that... I have a dual degree in English and Journalism, and I have no idea how that sentence should be written. Huh.
Well, here's a sentence I DO know how to write... who gives a fuck?
I also picked up a stove like PS's- apparently it's a Sterno. Instead of propane for fuel, it uses canned fuel. Pink, booger-looking stuff. It's like pink jello... only worse. I bought 6 of the booger cannisters. They burn for 6 hours a piece the label said.
Believe it or not, I DID read the label. I don't relish the idea of blowing myself to smithereens. The only thing left to identify my remains would be my kinky hair.
By the way, I braided it. There are about 6 bazillion braids, and I used colored bands (which I purchased at the Store of all stores) to secure them. Hell of a good look.
We ate at the snack bar at Wal-Mart. I had a burger with the works, some fries, and an Icee. I got a HUGE kick out of watching PS's face every time I slurped. The more disgusted she looked, the louder I slurped.
Then I burped really loudly. Loud enough for the other customers to look at me and shake their heads. Fuck it, I'll never see any of them again. PS got up and left the table without another word after that. Didn't say anything to me on the way back here, either.
Which, in itself, isn't a bad thing, but she's hiking with me for a 100 miles. If she's not talking to me, that could be a bit uncomfortable.
If I cared. Which I don't.
PS- Who gives a shit?
I couldn't stand 5 miles of her yapping at me about whatever. Can't figure how I'll stand 100 miles. At about mile 3, PS will start sounding like the teacher from Peanuts, I bet.
"Waa wa waa wa wa."
You know, after this fiasco, I'm going to make Murray send me to a bunch of Mexican beach resorts. I think many more people would enjoy a series of articles on THAT, rather than THIS crap.
Okay, enough. I better finish packing and get some shut-eye before we move out tomorrow.
Move over, John Wayne!
Sunday, 15 May
We made it to the first shelter, but not by much.
Christ, I don't have enough energy to fart, much less write. But I'll try.
Now I sound like some sort of martyr, or something. I wonder if they have any AT martyrs? I wonder if they have any trail-side churches.
Hell, if they don't have SOUVENIR shops, I doubt they have a church.
Okay, just let me say that PS, whatever the fuck it stands for, SHOULD stand for Sergeant Psycho.
Oh wait, the letters are in the wrong order. Fuck it. I'm going to call her Sarge anyway.
It started snowing as soon as we got into the clearing. A shack never, EVER looked so beautiful to me. She damn near killed me today, the witch.
I have water boiling for hot choc and soup, so let me start the story while I wait. The new stove is so much lighter and easier to start, btw.
So we were up before the light of day, and I grabbed another shower, this one eons quicker than the one yesterday. My hair feels rather funny with the zillions of tiny braids. But, boy, is it easier to take care of.
Mrs. served us hc, toast, eggs, sausage (which I didn't eat because it gives me the hops), and blueberry muffins (which I DID eat). There was also orange juice, but I declined because I'd be belching up stomach bile for a week if I did. Can you say acid reflux?
We were back on the trail by 7:00. PS told me at breakfast that it's a hard first day, but I didn't believe her.
PS- The scales have been lifted!!
We stopped for 20 minutes around noon for lunch. I had enough energy to gnaw on pita and a granola bar. I also drank both of my quarts of water, which turned me into the Pissing Fury this afternoon.
PS informed me that there was a stream about a hundred yards from the trail.
Well, the hundred yards turned out to be down this stupidly steep hill. I slid all the way down on my ass (which now looks like I crapped my knickers, thanks). When I finally hit bottom (Murray definitely hit bottom with this "assignment" of his, the fuckhead), I plunged my face right into the stream.
I don't give a shit if I contract giardia. Supposedly it's this really bad disease you get from drinking bad water. Kinda like Montezuma's Revenge. Talk about the hops...
It'll give me a non-excuse to get off this furkin' trail.
I just screamed that at the top of my lungs. I don't know if PS dropped off to sleep suddenly or dropped dead suddenly. Jeez, should I be worried?
Oh, wait. She's okay. But as she picked herself up off the ground I thought I heard her mutter something like she's going to grind my face into the ground with the heel of her boot.
Or maybe it was she's bound to feel up me with a root. How am I supposed to know? I'm on the opposite side of the shack.
Which is good because she'd probably kill me after the screaming gig.
Buuuuuut, back to today...
Like I said, PS told me it was a hard day, but she didn't tell me quite how hard. We hiked 8 freaking miles up and down these freaking hills... Christ, it SUCKED.
And Sarge there wouldn't let me rest for NOTHING.
And when I asked her to help me back up from the stream, she laughed. Really loudly.
There I was, down at the foot of this mountain, asking for help, and she laughed.
"PS- Send help!"
She just shook her head and laughed. I was so goddamned mad that I marched up that hill like it was nothing.
PS was laughing so hard that she couldn't even answer me when I demanded she tell me why she was laughing.
I went to dump my water on her head when I noticed that I didn't have my fucking bottles with me!!!
Seeing that, PS went into hysterics.
Jesus, I could've kicked her. Instead, I picked up a pinecone and whipped it at her head.
I missed.
Of course.
After retrieving my dumbass bottles, I hoisted (I still like that word) my dumbass pack and left in a dumbass huff.
I didn't stop for over an hour. And only then because I had to pee. I walked in solitude (HA! She was right behind me the whole frigging time).
PS- I still hate you.
But we made it here in one piece, only to have it snow on us.
Fucking A snow! Big, fat, wet stuff.
Jesus, I must be going crazy. That just turned me on. Holy JESUS!!
I just looked up and saw that it's starting to stick now, too.
Fuck. Snow in May? That's freaking nuts! In the city, we get snow maybe once every three years or so.
Damned glad I have my woolies.
God bless you, Gran.
So here I am, swaddled in my -20* sleeping bag with all my wool stuffs on.
PS is across the shack (she's about an arm's length away, that's how small this little bit of heaven is) looking pretty fucking miserable.
Actually, she's turning blue from the cold. Or she would be if I could tell. But she's so dark that I can't.
Poor thing.
Hey, I'm not the one who didn't pack anything smart here. She is, for Christ's sake.
Whoopy! The water is boiling.
Monday, 16 May
WE'RE STUCK HERE!!!!!! PS said it wasn't a good idea to try to hike in this weather.
Dear God, what if we never get out of here? We'll DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
Okay, so maybe it's not THAT bad. I just have a tendency to over-react and stuff. Not that you could tell or anything, though.
We're going to stay one more day here and let the snow stop. We're pretty comfortable in the shack, so it won't be so bad.
I can only pray.
Last night was... pretty wonderful.
It started with dinner. I asked her if she wanted some hc (Christ, I must have 40,000 packets of the stuff), and, wonder of wonders, she said yes. So I gave her some, and when the water was ready again, I offered soup. She took that, too.
I was sitting on my bag later, kinda snug, when PS got up and stood at the ledge of the shelter.
The fucking thing is about 4 1/2' off the ground, and I had to use a stump from the fire ring to get up here when got here. The morons who built this place must be at LEAST 8 feet tall.
Probably relatives of PS.
But I got up here. It's a bitch to get down to pee, though.
But there I was, sitting on my toasty warm bag, wondering if PS was desperate enough to jump. I couldn't figure out if she really thought she'd hurt herself if she jumped 4'.
She didn't. Jump OR hurt herself, that is.
She turned and asked me if I had my tent.
I must've looked at her like she was nuts because then she started talking really slowly. Like I was nuts, or something.
"Do. You. Have. Your. TENT?"
"Yes. I. DO!"
She wanted it because she rigged hers and mine both up in the doorway to block some of the snow and wind. But even without it, it wasn't so bad. It's better now, though.
PS said it was to keep me warmer, but I think it was for her, really. She only has a little fleece sleeping bag. Not much warmth on SNOWY days, but, hey, I didn't pack her pack.
I tried so hard not to feel sorry for her, but I did. And that pissed me off. So I yanked my extra wool sweater, socks, and my rain pants out of my pack and threw them at her.
"Next time pack RIGHT!"
I swear I screeched it at her like some kind of fish-monger's wife. Jesus.
Boy, I sure am dramatic sometimes. Hoky SMOKES!!
But, she put them on.
Then I slumped back on my bag and lay there with my arm over my eyes, mumbling incoherently. Until I ventured a look at PS.
Hoo BOY! That was a mistake. A really BIG one. She looks so ridiculously STUPID in my clothes. I peeked at her with one eye and saw her sitting on her bag. She was wearing my sweater and it would've looked okay on her, I guess, if it wasn't 6 sizes too small. And my rain pants were about 8" too short.
I just stared at her for a full 10 seconds before I started hooting with glee. She looked STUPID!!!
She asked me what I was laughing at and all I could do was point at her and laugh harder.
When I was finally able to talk, I told her she looked funny wearing my stuff.
Strangely enough, seeing how funny she looked made me feel immensely better about feeling sorry for her.
As a matter of fact, I stopped feeling sorry for her at all.
As nature usually goes, it got darker. PS went outside to get some wood for our fires. Honest to God, I felt so... Ingalls. Pa went out to gather wood while Ma stayed inside to tend the homefires.
Fuck it.
We're both keeping a small (read TINY-assed) fire going in our stoves. The shack here is so small that the two of them keep it plenty warm.
Plus with Gran's Grade A, first-rate, hideously ugly wool, we're doing just fine.
If the cold doesn't kill me, the boredom will. I'm DYING of boredom. DYING, I say. I suggested watching the grass grow as a diversion, but PS none-too-gently reminded that there IS no grass, thanks to Mr. Jack (ass) Frost.
I want to go HOOO-OOOO-OOOOOO-OOOOOOME!!!!!!!!!!!
I just screamed that (yet another scream I've let loose). I heard PS's teeth grind way over here. Then she asked me, "Would you KINDLY stop SCREAMING like that?"
Then I asked, "Why? Is it UPSETTING the delicate balance of NATURE?"
We speak in capitals a lot to each other. I've noticed that.
I think I'd rather be home watching an "I love the 80s" marathon on VH-1.
PS just asked me if I was going back to Town (wonder why I just capitalized that. Huh. Who knows?) tomorrow or if I'd keep going.
"Like, I don't KNOW, dude. I'm, like, not totally sure if I should, like go on. It's, like, a really hard decision, man, so I just don't know."
She sighed in exasperation and closed her eyes. So I started singing to her. "Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble, if I stay it will be double."
She got up and left... right in the middle of my song. She's got some NERVE, I tell you.
Back to last night. It was a dark and stormy night when suddenly, 'Twas the night before Christmas. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but Peter Cottontail hopping down the Funny Trail.
Whoops, that should be BUNNY trail.
Don't know, don't care.
Okay, that's not what really happened. It was much more mundane than that.
I slept with PS.
Yup, that's right. I, Maura Finnegan, slept with Postage Stamp on Sunday, the 15th day of May in the Chinese year of the goat (or cat. Or maybe pig. I'm not really sure).
OH OH OH!!!! Postage Stamp's not her real name! She told me last night, under cover of darkness, that PS stands for Phoebe Stanley.
I told her I like Postage Stamp better. I don't think she appreciates my brand of humor. It's much like a very fine wine, one that not many people appreciate or understand.
Too flipping bad for them.
ANYWAY, it was dark outside, but kind of cheery in the shack with the firelight. She suggested that we move our stuff as far back as possible in the shackeroo and keep our fires close together. Better to preserve the heat and wood, she said.
Better for her to cast furtive glances at me, I said. She wants me. I know this. I'm very sure of this. All of the looks, the eye rolling, the crankiness... all of her behavior points to frustrated longing.
Either that or constipation. Maybe I should mention Dulcolax.
We moved our stuff, though, and got cozy back here.
Heh, I'd like to get cozy with HER "back there".
I had put my notebook away and was just sorta staring into the fire. Although, after a while, I wished for a magnifying glass to see it better.
I must've drifted off because the next thing I know I'm sitting up in my bag scared shitless. It sounded like someone was rattling dried bones in a burlap sack. I knew, just KNEW that I was finally going to be killed.
I mean, I've heard, what? Dozens of bones-rattling-in-bags sounds.
At least.
Okay, maybe not. But I HAVE watched a least a dozen movies that had that sound.
After closer listening, though, it was just PS. Shivering. That's right, she was shivering so much that it woke me up.
I leaned over to her and whispered, "Hey, are you cold?"
Okay, maybe I didn't whisper it. Maybe I said it. Or maybe yelled it. At the top of my lungs.
I think she hates me.
But she SLEPT with me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA
After she removed her hands from my throat, she said that she was cold.
I laid back down and said I was terribly sorry to hear that. Then I closed my eyes.
But I was only kidding. I told her that we could share my bag if she wanted t
Well now, that's a fine how-do-you-do.
It's WEDNESDAY, 17 May, and I'm done. No more hiking for me.
Monday afternoon, PS fell out of the fucking shelter and busted her arm in three different places and her collar bone. One minute she was standing at the edge of the shack, and the next... WHAM! she disappeared.
"HOLY FUCK!" I screamed and went to look out. There was old PS, lying face down on the snow with her left arm missing. I looked around, trying to find the amputated limb.
Although, what I thought I would do with an amputated limb is beyond my grasp of reasoning. What was I going to do? Use my fish line stuff and sew it back on myself?
Turns out it was mangled underneath her in the fall but still attached.
I climbed down and asked her if she was okay.
When she didn't answer right away, I deduced that she wasn't. And when she tried to sit up and big tears leaked out of those wonderful brown eyes, I KNEW she wasn't.
I climbed back up and grabbed both of our first aid kits and climbed back down (I felt most definitely monkey-like that day). With what she had and what I had together, I managed to bind her arm iron-tight to her body without making her scream too loudly from the pain and agony. I told her not to go anywhere, and then got up and shoved all of our stuff into my pack.
I was ready to go in under 5 seconds. Or somewhere around there.
To make a really long story really short, we hiked back to the old folks' home, she called her mom, and we went to the hospital.
Met Mama PS. HOLY SHIT! If I thought PS was huge, Mama is TITANIC. But not fat. Just big. Really big.
I was in the waiting room at the hospital waiting (what else would I be doing?), when in strode this gargantuanly large woman. Taller and buffer than PS, even, and I thought PS was the biggest woman I'd ever seen.
She went to the desk, told them her name, and they took her back to PS.
I didn't know if I should stick around or not, but I did. The coffee was free, and you can't beat free coffee. So I was there when PS and her mom came out.
PS was groggy, but she managed to introduce me. Even remembered who I was. But she had to ask her mom who SHE was. It was very funny. In a freaky kinda way.
Her arm was in a cast from shoulder to fingers, and she was wearing some kind of funny splint thing around her shoulders for her collarbone.
Anyway, her mom told me I was coming home with them (which I wasn't going to argue with her about) until I could get a plane ticket home.
Home for PS turned out to be a place called Caribou here in Maine. It took us about 3 hours to get here from the hospital.
But the ride was okay because I got the goods on PS from Mommy dearest.
Oh shit, I hope she didn't see me write that. She could smite me with her thumb if she wanted to.
PS is studying for her Ph.D in... oh hell, I forget. She's a year older than me, and she has 3 brothers and 2 sisters. I think she's toward the end of the line-up somewhere.
So here I sit, in PS's apartment. I decided not to finish the Trail. At least not this time. After being with PS a couple of days, I don't think it'd be any fun by myself.
I got a ticket home for tomorrow. I don't relish the thought of seeing His Royal FatFuckness, but at least I get to crucify him about this field trip he sent me on.
Look out, Murray, here I come.


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I will continue to use EU::MM until I do, whether it be deprecated or no. To change merely for the sake of fashion - and with no good reason that really is all it would be - would be foolish. I've not read the rest of the thread, but from a general pragmatic pov, while I agree with the latter claim, I don't on the former one. Also, "fashion" in general may mean all or nothing. Of course it carries the risk of promoting stuff that has no real value to be. But it may also be a good fashion instead. OTOH sticking with something just because "it does" is not a good way to operate. Indeed we should all be still programming with Perl 4 techniques because they did the job, after all... Of course if something gets deprecated there may well be a good reason why. One's opinion may differ, and with... ehm... good reasons too. But one cannot assume that in a collectively taken choice all the others will be dumb idiots... In reply to Re^3: Build.PL versus Makefile.PL
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The Otay Ranch Mustangs continue to improve under the guidance of head coach Troy Vierra, with last Saturday's 54-24 victory over the host Olympian Eagles the latest measuring stick. The victory earned Vierra's crew the championship title of this year's 20-team Olympian Duals.
The Mustangs went 5-0 in the tournament.
"We've just getting better each week — that's the goal," Vierra said. "Now, we're working on getting in better condition for the second half of the season."
Six Otay Ranch wrestlers went undefeated at the Olympian Duals: Tommy Espinoza (112 pounds), Eddie Estevez (119), Victor Garcia (125), Manuel Razo (135), Albert Lopez (160) and Jonathan Henkel (heavyweight).
The Mustangs defeated El Cajon Valley, Santana, Patrick Henry, St. Augustine and Olympian to emerge on top.
The Eagles had four grapplers earn first-place medals: Ello (112), Arvin Lleva (130), Devon Flores (171) and John Grylls (189). Silver medalists included heavyweight Jessie Perez, Jose Gonzalez (119) and Imran Hoque (145).
"We're hoping to do the best we can and make a run at the South Bay League title," Eagles coach Aramis Vera said. "We were the runner-up to Mar Vista last year."
Patrick Henry finished fourth and San Ysidro finished fifth at this year's Olympian Duals.
Mustangs out-duel Eagles to win Olympian Duals mat tourney
Phillip Brents | Tue, Dec 28 2010 11:59 PM
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25 Splendid Praying Hands Tattoo Designs
Show Summary | Posted by Bariski 2112 days ago | Category: Graphic Design
Various Praying Hand Tattoos, that people have donned on their skin, to express their gratitude and love for God. Get some praying hands tattoo designs.
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Monday, March 31, 2008
I Love Baseball
Today is a like a holiday to me; today being Opening Day for the 2008 season. Hopes are high...
Monday, March 24, 2008
Check Out Those Mitts!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Happy St. Patty's Day
Monday, March 10, 2008
Now this is what rivalry is all about!
Monday, March 03, 2008
He Eats Balls!
This dude eats balls...gross!
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text: Rumor: Android Version of Dell Venue Pro is On the CardsKat Hannaford10/26/10 7:35amFiled to: Androiddell venue proDellvenue proGoogleWindows phone 7unconfirmedRumorsSpeculation0EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkAccording to PCWorld, Dell is going to launch an Android version of the vertical slider Windows Phone 7 handset. Resembling a squarer BlackBerry Torch, it's something I could definitely see myself using. In Android, anyway. [PCWorld via AndroidCentral] ReplyLeave a reply


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As I was opening Yahoo, I was surprised by the news Manohara circulation of pornographic photos. After a splashy news about porno video Ariel Peterpan, Luna Maya, and Cut Tari, now many emerging video and photos of porn-like artist. Of course many people who are interested to download video sex porn Indonesian artists. One of the latest news is Manohara Odelia Pinot pornographic photos, which circulated on the internet, the last few days. Manohara emphatically denied the authenticity of the photo.
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Friday, July 16, 2010
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Monday, January 14, 2008
Another Car.....Another IOF missile.....Three more funerals
But look at the known and published details:
One killed was Nidhal 'Ammoudi local leader of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs B.,
The second was Maher Mabhoh, the leader of the "Army of Islam" (whatever that is)
Even the ownership of the car was known: it was owned by a local leader of Islamic Jihad.
All this is common knowledge and these were "leaders"!
If these are the leaders, pity the rank and file and pity the resistance!
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international routes Archives
British Airways Adds Additional Flight Between Phoenix And London
British Airways announced that the nonstop service between Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport and London Heathrow Airport will increase from six to seven days per week beginning December 5, 2012. "This is great news for Phoenix and our entire region," Mayor Greg Stanton said. "Intercontinental flights are huge contributors to the success of our Phoenix… Read More →


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Pure Talalay Latex Mattress Toppers with Organic Cotton Cover
Introducing Tally-O Two and Tally-O Three
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Tally-O Talalay Latex Mattress Toppers are custom made, unique, and beautifully crafted by Ultimate Sleep. Both the Tally-O Two and the Tally-O Three Mattress Toppers are constructed with the finest 100% Pure Talalay Latex and Organic Cotton. The Tally-O Two has a medium soft feel due to its 24 ILD latex core. It's Organic cotton cover adds a plush layer of cushioning to your mattress, and will keep its wonderful feel and shape for years to come. The Tally-O Three offers a luxuriously medium firm feel due to its 32 ILD latex core, while also providing even greater orthopedic support with a rejuvenating and lively springiness. It also has an organic cover with slightly more quilting.
Pure Talalay Latex, considered the cadillac of premium bedding, is extremely comfortable and also very long lasting. In fact, latex retains its characteristics much longer than other types of bedding materials, and remains both comfortably supportive and resiliently springy for decades. This is one of the best features of latex -- that it provides both gentle cushioning and lively support. Our Pure Talalay Latex is also naturally antibacterial, anti-microbial and dust mite resistant. We offer each Tally-O Topper with Free Shipping in the Continental USA as well as a 30 Night Trial! Custom sizes are also an option.
Tally-O Two 2 inch Talalay Latex Mattress Topper
The Tally-O Two Latex Mattress Topper is 2" thick and has a light and lively medium soft feel. This topper is great if you are looking to add soft cushioning to your mattress. This Tally-O Topper is designed with 2 inches of solid Talalay Latex, encased within a soft 100% Organic Cotton Cover. Pure Latex Bliss!
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Tally-O Three 3 inch Talalay Latex Mattress Topper
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Tally-O Three Features:
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- Manufactured in the USA
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See also the Tally-O Shredded latex pillow with organic cotton cover.


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Tri longer.
Boasting generous storage space and fast-drying, aerodynamic fabrics, the Castelli Women's Free Tri Singlet is well suited for long events and long-distance rides. Castelli constructs the Free Tri Singlet from SpeedFreak ventilated fabric on the front, which glides through the water with ease and dries very quickly when you get out, improving T1 comfort. Additionally, Velocity mesh at the back improves aerodynamics with wind tunnel-confirmed drag reduction and provides cooling airflow.
The Free Tri Singlet features a half-length zipper with an oversized tab in order to ease entry and exit and to allow on-the-fly heat dumps. Castelli also incorporated two rear Free Aero 2 pockets which are large enough to carry your race-day nutrition but feature side-oriented openings to maintain a low profile for aero- and hydro-dynamic benefits. The singlet is finished with Castelli's Snap Hooks, which attach it to compatible shorts for a seamless, triathlon fit.
Tech Specs
View more Women's Tri Tops
Size chart
Castelli Sizing Chart
Chest | 79cm (31.1in) |
84cm (33.1in) |
89cm (35.0in) |
94cm (37.0in) | 99cm (39.0in) |
Waist | 63cm (24.8in) |
68cm (26.8in) |
73cm (28.7in) |
78cm (30.7in) | 83cm (32.7in) |
Hips | 87cm (34.3in) |
92cm (36.2in) |
97cm (38.2in) |
102cm (40.2in) | 107cm (42.1in) |
Inseam | 74cm (29.1in) | 75.5cm (29.7in) | 77cm (30.3in) | 78.5cm (30.9in) | 80cm (31.5in) |
- How to Measure:
- For best results, take measurements over your underwear.
- Chest:
- Measure under your arms, around the fullest part of your chest.
- Natural Waist:
- Measure around your natural waistline, keeping the tape a bit loose.
- Hip:
- Measure around the fullest part of your body at the top of your legs.
- Inseam:
- Using pants that fit well, measure the crotch seam to the bottom of the leg.


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WWE Reaches Ticketing Deal With StubHub Nathan's Famous Signs MLB Sponsorship NFL Owners OK $60M For Ravens' Stadium Manica, HNTB To Design Raiders' Stadium MLS' Garber Visits St. Louis Before Stadium Vote Oakland Pol. Wants Raiders Out ASAP NBA Kings Want To Talk To Sam Hinkie Lean In, NBA Partner On PSA Campaign NFL Owners Approve Raiders Relocation Panthers Deny Report On Ownership
SBD/February 12, 2013/People and Pop Culture
Print All-
Executive Transactions
Jaguars Senior VP/Sales & Marketing MACKY WEAVER resigned yesterday after 19 years with the team. The nephew of former Owner WAYNE WEAVER will "leave later this month to pursue other opportunities," but will "serve as a senior adviser" to Jaguars President MARK LAMPING in '13. Meanwhile, the team promoted HUSSAIN NAQI to Senior VP/Fan Engagement and CHAD JOHNSON to Senior VP/Ticket Sales, while naming MEGHA PAREKH VP & General Counsel. Parekh replaces SASHI BROWN, who was hired by the Browns last month (FLORIDA TIMES-UNION, 2/12).
PLAYING THROUGH: NBC Sports Group's Golf Media named MLB Senior VP/Corporate Sales & Marketing LOU KOSKOVOLIS Senior VP/Sales & Marketing. Starting next week, he will report to NBC Sports Group Sales & Marketing Exec VP SETH WINTER and will be based in N.Y.. Koskovolis will oversee all sales and sponsorship efforts for Golf Channel and Golf Channel on NBC, as well as NBC's golf efforts on digital platforms and events. Koskovolis spent 15 years at ABC Sports and ESPN before moving to Six Flags in '06. He joined MLB in '11 (John Ourand, Staff Writer).
EXECS: Circuit of the Americas named Indianapolis Motor Speedway Senior VP/Operations MEL HARDER Senior VP/Operations & GM. He was "No. 2 in charge before the latest round of management shuffling" (INDYSTAR.com, 2/11)....Learfield Sports named NHL Panthers Sales & Service Dir JOE DELLWO GM of its Penn State Sports Properties and Hormel Foods exec TOM KOENIGSFELD GM of its Xavier Sports Properties. The company also promoted Hurricane Sports Properties Associate GM DUFFY HOUSE to GM (Learfield)….The Univ. of Cincinnati named Univ. of Tennessee Senior Associate AD/Strategic Planning & Initiatives DESIREE REED-FRANCOIS Senior Associate AD and Senior Woman Administrator. She begins March 4 (UC).
Do you have an executive announcement? If so, please send to: email@example.com -
Names In The News
In Knoxville, Josh Flory noted Browns Owner JIMMY HASLAM III is "returning to the role" of Pilot Flying J CEO. He replaces former PepsiCo President JOHN COMPTON, whose hiring "was announced in September." Haslam yesterday said that he "missed being CEO" and noted that a team of execs "has been hired to run" the Browns since he bought the team last year. Haslam said, "This is about me realizing my first love is running Pilot Flying J and wanting to return to that job" (KNOXNEWS.com, 2/11).
ON THE RISE: USA TODAY's Berkowitz & Upton reported new coaches at major college football programs "will be paid an average" of about 7% more next season than what their predecessors made last year. The increase in "average basic compensation is significantly lower than the one that occurred among schools with head coaching changes following the 2011 season." However, the "recent round of moves included an unusually large number of schools hiring head coaches of other schools." That set of transactions, which often results in buyout fees to former schools, "will result in a major rise in another form of compensation" (USA TODAY, 2/12).
BOOK SHELF: In San Diego, Tom Krasovic noted former NFL coach MARTY SCHOTTENHEIMER's biography "Martyball!" gives Chargers fans an opportunity to "learn more" about him in his five years as Chargers coach. The book makes former GM A.J. SMITH come off as "aloof, uncommunicative and stubborn" (UTSANDIEGO.com, 2/11)....Simon & Schuster, publisher of former MLBer MIKE PIAZZA's new book "Long Shot," made it "clear that Piazza would grant no interviews to the print media before or after" a book signing yesterday in N.Y. There were about "200 or so fans waiting for Piazza's signature" and none of them "seemed to be too worried about his andro use, or about any doping suspicions" (N.Y. DAILY NEWS, 2/12).
AWARDS & HONORS: The Oregon Sports Awards on Sunday named Gold Medal-winning U.S. decathlete ASHTON EATON and Gold Medal-winning U.S. women's soccer team MF MEGAN RAPINOE recipients of the state's Harry Glickman Pro Athletes of the Year award. Heat coach ERIK SPOELSTRA and Eagles coach CHIP KELLY shared the Slats Gill Sportsperson of the Year Award (PORTLANDTRIBUNE.com, 2/11)….Sources said that the Univ. of Maryland has "finalized plans to honor former basketball coach LEFTY DRIESELL with a bronze relief that will hang at Comcast Center" (BALTIMORESUN.com, 2/11)....The Chabad Center for Jewish Discovery and Preschool of the Arts in N.Y. will honor Knicks G JASON KIDD (N.Y. POST, 2/11).
TEE TIME: Pro Football HOFer MARSHALL FAULK will replace Saints QB DREW BREES as host of a celebrity golf tournament scheduled for May 16-19 at La Costa Resort & Spa in Carlsbad, Calif. Brees and his foundation in December "sued tournament organizer DAVID MILLER" and his firm, Integrated Sports Marketing, in San Diego Superior Court, saying that he "cheated benefactors of the foundation out of thousands of dollars he kept for his company" (AP, 2/11)....Jaguars K JOSH SCOBEE has organized the first "NFL Specialist Golf Tournament" for Feb. 23-24 at the TPC Sawgrass Dye's Valley course in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla. (JACKSONVILLE.com, 2/9).
NAMES: Penguins G MARC-ANDRE FLEURY has "committed to spending" $500 per game to give four fans glass seats. The gate price for each seat is $125, and Fleury "will spend" about $11,000 this season. Fleury: "I just thought it was important to do something extra for our fans. They are so great" (PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW, 2/10)....Agent SCOTT BORAS will open a "private fitness clinic" in South Florida for his clients who are based there. Boras has represented "many players with links to PEDs" but is "sincere in encouraging players to avoid that temptation" (CHICAGOTRIBUNE.com, 2/9)....Yankees President RANDY LEVINE "co-owns a five-year-old Labrador retriever named Mitch who has been entered into the Westminster Kennel Club's show" (SPORTS.YAHOO.com, 2/11)….Bruins LW SHAWN THORNTON and Red Sox P CLAY BUCHHOLZ will "join forces to take over" a charity bowling bash that was previously hosted by Dodgers P JOSH BECKETT when he was playing in Boston. Meanwhile, Patriots Owner ROBERT KRAFT and his girlfriend RICKI NOEL LANDER attended the Grammy Awards on Sunday. Kraft is "a board member of Viacom, which owns CBS, the network that broadcasted" the show (BOSTON HERALD, 2/12)….SI Swimsuit model HANNAH DAVIS was seen on Saturday "having a cozy meal" with Yankees SS DEREK JETER (N.Y. POST, 2/12).


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A Matter of Resistance is the English-language title of the frothy wartime comedy La Vie De Chateau. Set in occupied France, the film stars Catherine Deneuve as the young and beautiful bride of middle-aged and homely Philipe Noiret. Disappointed at Noiret's indifference concerning the Nazi invaders, Catherine is swept off her feet by handsome Resistance leader Henri Garcin. Throughout the rest of the film, it seems as though the underground operatives and the German officers are more interested in...more
All La Vie de Château cast + crew photos


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Fax Numbers
- (715) 356-1111
Additional Email Addresses
- firstname.lastname@example.com
- email@example.com
Type of Entity
CorporationBusiness Management
- Mr. Lucas Yelton, Co-owner
- Ms. Donna Mauck, Office Manager
- Mr. Hal T. Yelton, Co-owner
- Ms. Gail S. Yelton, Co-owner
Business Category
- Windows & Doors - Installation & Service
- Windows - Installation & Service
- NAICS: Other Building Material Dealers
- Doors
- Doors - Commercial
- Glass - Beveled, Carved, Ornamental
- Mirrors
- Shower Doors & Enclosures
- Windows
- Windows - Wood
- Picture Framing
- Auto Repair - Windshield, Glass Shops
Alternate Business Names
- H. T Glass & Mirror Center, Inc.
Number of Employees:
6BBB Accreditation
This business is not BBB accredited.
Businesses are under no obligation to seek BBB accreditation, and some businesses are not accredited because they have not sought BBB accreditation.
To be accredited by BBB, a business must apply for accreditation and BBB must determine that the business meets BBB accreditation standards, which include a commitment to make a good faith effort to resolve any consumer complaints. BBB Accredited Businesses must pay a fee for accreditation review/monitoring and for support of BBB services to the public.
Standards of BBB Accreditation
Build Trust |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Advertise Honestly |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Tell the Truth |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Be Transparent |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Honor Promises |
An accredited business or
organization agrees to:
Be Responsive |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Safeguard Privacy |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
Embody Integrity |
An accredited business or organization agrees to:
BBB Accreditation Reviews
BBB routinely monitors its files on all Accredited Businesses to affirm that they continue to meet all BBB Accreditation Standards
BBB Accreditation Process
Not every business is eligible for BBB Accreditation. Businesses must meet, commit to and maintain the BBB Code of Business Practices (Accreditation Standards) in order to be eligible for and maintain BBB Accreditation. The BBB Code of Business Practices represents sound advertising, selling and customer service practices that enhance customer trust and confidence in business. The Code is built on the BBB Standards for Trust, eight principles that summarize important elements of creating and maintaining trust in business.
In order to be eligible for Accreditation a business must complete an Accreditation application.
Upon receipt of a fully completed BBB Application for Accreditation, BBB staff:
- Reviews the application
- Researches the business
- Verifies the information presented in the application
- May request additional information
- May request proof of specific information on the application
Once BBB has finished its evaluation, the application for BBB Accreditation is either approved or denied. If the applicant is found in compliance with the BBB Code of Business Practices it will be presented to the BBB Board of Directors, or a committee of that board, for final approval. If the application is denied, BBB will contact the applicant, indicating the BBB Standard(s) that were not met and any recourse available to the applicant.


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Boom Blox Bash Party Question and Answers :
Unregistered |
Want to check out my levels?My user name is Miis4ever on the internet on the game. Here are some codes you can input to find the levels. |
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Can we exchange our wii numbers?What is your wii number? if you give me your one I will give you mine. |
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level infoi saw a level by you named:wow! |
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thank you for the (full) levels you createdI typed miis4ever in text search in download levels then.... i think i figured out the |
Sorry, to fulfil this action you have to be CheatsGuru User
Your answer:
• Moshi Monsters cheats, Android • Plants vs. Zombies cheats, NDS, XBOX 360, PS3, IPHONE, Android • Pokemon Heart Gold Version cheats • Pokemon Soul Silver cheats • The Lord of the Rings: War in the North cheats, XBOX 360, PS3 • Shogun 2: Total War cheats • BioShock Infinite cheats, XBOX 360, PS3 • Darksiders 2 cheats, XBOX 360, PS3 • Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 cheats, PC, NDS, WII, PS3 • Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim cheats, XBOX 360, PS3 • Torchlight II cheats • Borderlands 2 cheats, XBOX 360, PS3 • Temple Run cheats • Jagged Alliance: Back in Action cheats • XCom: Enemy Unknown cheats, XBOX 360, PS3


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Thursday, March 31, 2011
Learn to Dance in the Rain
10 comments:
@Beverly-I'm glad you're finally getting some sunshine!
@Nhan-So far not too much damage other than my neighbor's tree branches on my yard. I feel at peace also.
@Karen-I'm with you on that, I've always found damp, cold, rainy weather to be somewhat cozy :) I'm thankful that I don't have to be anywhere. I grew up in a home with a fireplace and this weather reminds me cozy evenings by the fire or curled up with a book under a blanket in a comfy chair, especially during weather like this.
I actually had lunch plans today to take my girlfriend out for her birthday but she called to re-schedule since the power was out in the area we were to meet, next week promises to be warm and sunny so I think we'll enjoy it more when we can sit outdoors again!
~K- Sherry BentleyMarch 31, 2011 at 10:51 PM
Thank you very much for this post! It really cheered me up after a frustrating day at work. I had worked on a file for over four hours today and I saved it but it ended up disappearing off of our server so all of my hard work was lost. I was so upset when I got home but after reading your post, I feel much better, so thanks! :)


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English–UK & Ireland
1 Room: 1 Adult, /Room 0 Children/Room
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Fairfield Inn & Suites Snyder
TownePlace Suites Big Spring
Snyder TX
PointSavers offers up to 33% in point savings, depending on the hotel category and number of nights requested. This hotel is offering Seasonal Awards, so you can use fewer points when you book a stay during these dates.
5207 Big Spring Highway Snyder, TX 79549
1.9 miles from Snyder
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Our hotel in Snyder, Texas offers easy access to Windmill Ranch Preserve, Champion Ranch and a variety of historical attractions in Abilene. Scurry County Towle Park and Scurry County Museum are nearby.
1011 North San Antonio Street Big Spring, TX 79720
45.9 miles from Snyder
New Hotel
TownePlace Suites- Big Spring is located at the "Crossroads of West Texas!" With access to I 20, major east/west artery, and Hwy 87,major north south artery, our hotel is 100 m from Abilene, 90 m from Lubbock, 45 m from Midland and 90 m from San Angelo.
Nights 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
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San Simeon, California: Hearst's Xanadu
The remote hilltop pleasure castle of tycoon William Randolph Hearst is so vast that it requires ten different tours to see it all (But you can hit the high points with just one). Bring lots of free time and a sense of inferiority.Hearst Castle State Park
- Address:
- 750 Hearst Castle Rd, San Simeon, CA
- Directions:
- US 101 exit 228. Drive west 22 miles on Hwy 46, then north 12 miles on Hwy 1 to Hearst Castle Rd.
- Phone:
- 805-927-2020
- Admission:
- Tours $25-$36
- RA Rates:
- Worth a Detour
Results 1 to 2 of 2...
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Reports and tips from RoadsideAmerica.com visitors and Roadside America mobile tipsters. Some tips may not be verified. Submit your own tip.
Hearst's Xanadu
Terrifying truck up to the castle. Rode a bus that seemed almost too large for the road. I was scared, but beautiful drive.
[Lindsay Gurley, 12/11/2015]Hearst's Xanadu
Tour 1 is a good one for your great photo ops. The film they show is good, too.
[Kim, 04/30/2010]Tycoon William Randolph Hearst's opulent castle is a very popular tourist attraction, but its over-the-top, garish decor qualifies as an oddity. Prerequisite: Watch the movie Citizen Kane, then come here. Ask the tour guide annoying questions about the movie.
Nearby Offbeat Places
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Catch up on the latest discoveries from the road.
Explore Thousands of Oddball Tourist Attractions!
Unique destinations in the U.S. and Canada are our special obsession. Use our attraction recommendation and maps to plan your next road trip.


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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
A little color inspiration...
Alot to do today...my TO DO LIST keeps getting longer, can anyone relate? Before I get moving, here is a little color inspiration!
My inspiration comes from several sources...the skirt is Etsy shop Couvert, shoes and jacket are Boden, interior picture is Canadian HH, artwork is also Etsy at Pink Glitter Fae and mirror is Uttermost...Enjoy!
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All New: Tuesdays at 9|8c
Mondays at 10|9c
Wednesdays at 9|8c
Hotel Tipping Etiquette 01:48
Tour South Africa 02:33
After hours of searching, Stephan finally finds a water tank he can live with.
Let's Make a Deal 02:32
Machetes and Parakeets 02:15
Help From the Jungle Elf 02:01
Running Behind Schedule 02:37
Rusty Johnson, Stephan Jablonski and the rest of the Hotel Amazon crew begin clearing out the high grass in order to build a bridge from the entrance of the hotel to the riverbank.
After removing all the excess grass from the marsh, Rusty, Stephan and the crew are able to complete the first part of the bridge leading to the hotel.
After almost completing the main part of the lodge, Juan informs Stephan that most of the wood they bought will not hold up in the rough conditions of the Amazon.
Josais and Rusty take Stephan into the jungle to show him some survival techniques and to experience the harsh jungle conditions.
Juan meets his friend Ricardo in his home village. Rusty and Stephan recruited Ricardo in order to get the right wood they need at a decent price.
After Stephan intervenes because of a slow, disappointing start, the work progresses at a much faster pace, and the lodge begins to come together.
Hotel Amazon Pictures 10 Photos
Machetes and Parakeets 02:15
Help From the Jungle Elf 02:01
Running Behind Schedule 02:37
Explore the Amazon rainforest, or Amazonia, and its indigenous plant life, including the water plant Victoria regia (pictured). This dense, lush forest covers more than 2 million square miles of South America's Amazon basin. The majority of the forest is contained within Brazil, followed by Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Ecuador, Bolivia, Guyana, Suriname and French Guiana. The jungle represents more than half of the planet's remaining rainforest, making it the largest and most diverse rainforest in the world.
Plan a mind-blowing excursion down the 4,000-mile-long Amazon River -- the largest river in South America, and the largest drainage system in the world. Although the length of this river is equivalent to the distance from NYC to Rome, there is much debate as to whether the Amazon is longer than the Nile River in Egypt. The Amazon River's source comes high within the Andes Mountains, near the Pacific Ocean, and its mouth is in the Atlantic Ocean on the northeastern coast of Brazil.
Adventurous travelers can take a cruise along the Negro River from Manaus, Brazil, to experience the Amazon Rainforest and to explore the January Ecological Park. Some cruise lines offer unique excursions, including a hike through the jungle, alligator spotting, fishing, tree climbing, snorkeling, parasailing and educational excursions to learn more about the indigenous people that live along the river.
Stay at the Ariau Amazon Towers, a hotel built high in the treetops with canopy walkways 70 feet in the air. During your stay, enjoy the fauna and wildlife like the friendly monkeys, macaws, sloths and parrots. This exclusive hotel made Conde Nast Traveler's list of the "25 Extraordinary Places Worth That Extra Mile." We agree. For the perfect honeymoon hideaway, we recommend the honeymoon suite, built 110 feet up a mahogany tree.
If a treetop hotel isn't your thing, try the IBEROSTAR Grand Amazon. Guests can check into this floating luxury hotel -- featuring 73 cabins, each with private balcony -- for a 3-night stay along the Solimões River that includes a visit to a local village, bird-watching around the Igarapés and piranha fishing. For the 4-night stay, guests tour the Negro River and take a motorboat safari to the Anavilhanas Islands. Make the most out of your trip and combine the 2 options for a 7-night stay.
While you are visiting the Amazon, you may be lucky enough to immerse yourself in a unique cultural event like the Indigenous Nations Games of Para in Altamira. Indigenous people from 38 ethnic groups participate in the Games in which athletes compete in disciplines like spear throwing, canoeing and swimming. In the photo, a member of Brazil's Kayapo tribe prepares to compete in the bow and arrow competition.
Take an Amazon kayaking tour on the Urubu and Jatapu rivers. Manaus is surrounded by the Amazon Negro rivers, but some companies do not offer kayaking tours on these rivers because they are miles wide and can be dangerous for kayakers during rainy and stormy weather.
Plan a fun trip to witness the Festival do Boi-Bumba or the Parintins Folklore Festival in June. This festival is the 2nd largest annual festival in Brazil -- only Rio's Carnival draws more participants. Held in Parintins, Amazonas, this 3-day festival celebrates a local legend about a resurrected ox, and 2 teams -- Garantido and Caprichoso -- must compete to retell the story in 2.5 hours. The teams try to outdo one another using flamboyant dances, singing and parade floats in the Bumbodromo -- a stage that holds about 35,000 spectators.
Located in Mamirauá Sustainable Development Reserve, the Uacari Floating Lodge is a rustic, eco-tourism getaway to observe the Amazon's wildlife. Recognized by UNESCO as part of the Natural Heritage of Humanity, this floating lodge has 5 bungalows with 2 rooms, 2 bathrooms and a porch with a view of the river and forest. The central floating area has a natural swimming pool, kitchen, restaurant, bar, video room and library. What makes this lodge unique is that it generates income for the reserve's 8 local communities and preserves the natural community.
Get an amazing view of Brazil and the Amazon's canyons, rivers, waterfalls and more, by taking canopy tour. Rafting, hiking, cycling, snorkeling and surfing are few examples of how you can keep your adrenaline pumping when visiting the area.
Go shopping at the Ver-o-peso Market in Belem, Brazil. Locals and tourists visit this market to pick up fresh fish, handcrafts, natural essence perfumes, and native vegetables and fruits. Clock Tower Square, Solar da Beira, Feliz Lusitania and the Açaí Fair are a few places to visit and things to do when visiting this popular market.
For travelers looking for an alternative to "roughing it" in the Amazon -- visit the Amazonas Theater in Manaus. This theater is home to the Amazonas Philharmonic Orchestra, which regularly rehearses and performs here. Music concerts and other popular performances are held here.
From March until May, the Amazonas Theater also hosts an annual Amazonas Opera Festival. The Amazonas Philharmonic is the official orchestra of the Festival. This photo shows a scene from the 2008 world premiere performance of the opera Ca Ira, composed by former Pink Floyd vocalist Roger Waters and performed by an all-Brazilian cast.
Unforgettable Amazon Adventure 13 Photos
Found in the Amazon rainforest, the brown-throated sloth is the most common of the 4 species of the 3-toed sloth. Its guard hairs are very coarse and stiff, and they have no gall bladder or appendix. Although they can swim and walk along the ground, sloths spend most of their lives high in the tree tops, eating leaves.
Tourists will find this colorful-feathered friend in the Amazon. Macaws are the largest tropical parrots, reaching up to 3 feet from head to tail. The blue and yellow macaw -- also called the blue and gold macaw -- is one of seven species of macaws that live in the Amazon. And you won't have to go far to spot these birds -- they generally hang around popular food sources, including hotels and lodges.
Contrary to popular belief, most piranhas eat fallen fruit. No, it's not as thrilling as stripping the meat off the bone. Rest easy -- no confirmed fatalities have occurred from a mass attack. Some tour companies offer fishing expeditions, providing tourists with the opportunity to fish for piranhas with just a stick, a hook and a piece of meat.
The White-knee tarantula is a species of tarantula native to forests in Brazil. It's a medium-sized, but fast-growing spider that's usually very hungry. This creepy creature's bite is actually worse than its venomous bite, often leaving extensive puncture wounds. Usually this spider's first line of defense is its urticating hairs that can be quite irritating to human skin.
Squirrel monkeys -- the most abundant monkey in the Amazon Rainforest -- stick together in groups of around 20 to 100.Their diet consists of fruits, insects and sometimes flower nectar. Mothers give birth to their young during the rainy season, and they take exclusive care for the young. Their connection is heartwarming.
About 40 species of toucan live in the Amazon. They have bright-colored plumage and bills. Toucans usually nest in tree holes or holes already created by woodpeckers. Although more often heard than seen, toucans are usually seen only in near a tree's crown or canopy. So it is probably unlikely that birdwatchers will ever be able to catch a glimpse of these colorful characters.
Eyelash vipers are arguably one of the world's most beautiful, but most dangerous snakes. They have distinctive modified scales over their eyes to give them the appearance of having eyelashes. This type of pit viper is largely nocturnal, consuming small rodents, frogs, lizards and birds. It's not an aggressive snake, but they do strike if harassed.
Poison dart frogs acquired their name because Amerindians -- indigenous, pre-Columbian people of North and South America -- used the frog's toxic secretions to poison the tips of blowdarts. Dart frogs usually grow up to 6-centimeters long. Their brightly-colored, patterned skin is a warning to potential predators -- making a meal out of this toxic frog could be hazardous to their health.
Capuchin monkeys are intelligent and clever, using stones to crack open nuts, shellfish and crabs. The tree-dwelling monkeys were named by explorers after their resemblance to an order of Catholic friars, the Order of Friars Minor Capuchin.
The black caiman is the largest predator in the Amazon basin. Its skin color keeps the meat-eating reptile camouflaged while hunting at night. An adult male caiman can grow to be 16-feet long and weigh more than 800 pounds. It only has a few natural predators, but a large anaconda has been known to take on a young caiman.
Pumas are powerful predators that stalk and ambush their prey. They are small cats usually 22 to 30 inches long and range between 10 and 20 pounds. Fish, frogs, reptiles, birds, rodents and small mammals are potential food choices for a male puma if they are within 45- to 56-mile radius territory. Bon appetite!
Take a look above when you're in the Amazon's thick jungle. That's where you'll find howler monkeys, jumping from tree tops. These agile creatures can grasp a branch with at least 2 hands and or 1 hand and their tail at all times. Their tail is so strong that it can support their entire body weight.
Meet the ultimate Amazon predator. The jaguar is at the top of the food chain. Revered by local tribes, this feline beast hunts close to the water for large animals, including deer, capybara and peccary.
The Amazon's Wildlife 13 Photos
The Amazon River 02:40
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Why is my 5 year old boy urinating in inappropriate places
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Big John's Steak and Onion Sub
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