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G'Day from Australia. I have been admiring much of the work done on this web site as well as being greatful for the tips and tutorials. I have finally gotten up the courage to post some work I recently did for a Jango Fett Fan who is very happy with the final product - I even made the ammo pouches functional so he could put his mobile phone(which just fitted) in them. I am not sure how to post the pictures here so this link goes to my efforts.
I hand wove all the girth braid myself (about 17 hours work) and dyed it as well - its Kangaroo lacing(of course) . For a first go at such an intricate piece I am pretty happy. What do you all think?


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Jump to:Page Content
Home > News & Events > Events Calendar > Opening the Gates of Opportunity: Realizing the Potential of Gateway Cities
Gateway Cities are midsize urban centers in Massachusetts facing stubborn social and economic challenges, but with many assets that have unrealized potential. Our half-day event, Opening the Gates of Opportunity: Realizing the Potential of Gateway Cities, will bring together community leaders, public officials, policymakers, faculty and students to exchange ideas and information about workable solutions for cities and local economies. The agenda will feature speakers who represent a cross-section of new ideas for revitalizing our cities and neighborhoods. Out of these discussions we hope to capture innovative, cross-sector, collaborative ideas and models that will feed into the work that is being done by students and faculty in urban planning.

subset: commoncrawl


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Sample Collection for Human Identification
Efficient DNA Collection, Storage, and Downstream Analysis
Human identification and forensic investigations depend on the careful collection and handling of samples. It is critically important that samples are collected using devices designed to:
- Enable efficient, high-quality PCR amplification for genotyping
- Facilitate automation, preservation, and storage
- Maintain chain of custody and sample integrity
To meet this need, we offer innovative, high-quality collection solutions through a partnership with Copan Flock Technologies, a leader in manufacturing sample collection and DNA preservation tools. The Copan NUCLEIC-CARD™ and 4N6FLOQSwabs™ collection systems, in combination with our completely integrated human identification analysis workflows, enable forensic and paternity laboratories to maximize efficiency and achieve the highest quality results.
The NUCLEIC-CARD™ Sample Collection Devices consists of a plastic holder carrying a framed NUCLEIC-CARD™ COLOR (1 spot). The NUCLEIC-CARD™ COLOR matrix is chemically-treated to enable cell lysis and protein denaturation. Nucleic acids are immobilized and preserved for long-term storage at room temperature.
|Reference Sample Collection
|NUCLEIC-CARD™ DNA Collection System
|4N6FLOQSwabs™ DNA Collection System
|Evidence Sample Collection
|4N6FLOQSwabs™ DNA Collection System, Crime Scene
© 2014 Thermo Fisher Scientific, Inc. For Forensic or Paternity use only. All rights reserved. All trademarks are the property of Thermo Fisher Scientific and its subsidiaries unless otherwise specified. NUCLEIC-CARD and 4N6FLOQSwabs are trademarks of Copan Flock Technologies. Buccal DNA Collector is a trademark of Bode Technology.


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As an earthworm feeds, organic matter passes through its body and is excreted as granular dark castings. You may see these small casting piles in your garden. An earthworm produces its weight in castings daily. Worm castings are a wonderful fertilizer, rich in nutrients otherwise unavailable to plants.
In cold weather, a soil search will turn up mature and young earthworms as well as eggs. By late spring, most worms are mature. As temperatures rise, activity slows; many lay eggs and then die. By midsummer, most worms are very young or protected by egg capsules. As the weather cools, young worms emerge. With wet weather, they grow active, making new burrows and eating extra food, resulting in more worm castings. Egg laying occurs again. Activity continues as long as soil stays damp.
After a heavy rain, earthworms often appear aboveground. They haven't drowned. Fresh water doesn't disturb earthworms—they need ongoing skin moisture to breathe—but stagnant or contaminated water forces them from their burrows.
Earthworms can survive in soil that freezes gradually, but sudden freezing can kill them. Protect earthworms against sudden freezes with mulch or a cover crop, both of which also provide worms with food.
Earthworm Bins
You can raise earthworms yourself using purchased redworms—a process called vermiculture or earthworm composting. Kept in a cool, dark place, such as a basement, a worm bin provides a composting system for kitchen scraps and a source of rich, fertile worm castings for the garden.
Commercial Bin Systems
Commercially available bins are typically made from durable black plastic, with trays that fit on top of a base. The trays have mesh bottoms for drainage, and the base catches "worm tea" and dispenses it from a spigot so you can use it to water your plants. A top keeps light out and worms from escaping. You fill the lowest tray with a moist filler material (usually a soaked coir fiber brick and/or shredded paper, with a little compost or garden soil mixed in to provide beneficial organisms). The filler should be uniformly damp but not wet, just like any working compost pile. Once you add the worms, you can begin adding kitchen scraps every day or so as the worms consume them, transforming them and the filler into nutrient-rich castings. As with any compost pile, keep meat, fats, and dairy products out of the pile. Coffee grounds and filters, tea bags, oatmeal, bread, and fruit and veggie scraps are excellent worm compostables.
As each tray fills with castings, you can repeat the process in the tray above. Worms will migrate through the mesh to the new source of food, and you can then spread the contents of the lower tray on your garden or greenhouse beds or use it to enrich potting soil. Put the newly emptied tray at the top of the bin, and the cycle can go on indefinitely. Another advantage of commercial multi-tray bins is that they're portable, so you can set one up outdoors in a shaded area during the growing season, then move it to the greenhouse, sunroom, or basement when cold weather arrives and continue composting.
Homemade Bins
Commercial bins work beautifully, but tend to be pricey. If you don't want to pay big bucks for a worm bin, you can make your own from a plastic storage bin, such as a 3 feet by 2 feet by 1 1/2-feet-deep storage bin, a modified garbage can, washtub, or wooden box. Use an awl to punch small holes in the sides of plastic washtubs or garbage cans for aeration. To keep conditions moist but well drained, make a drainage area in the bottom of the bin; use a rigid divider to separate it from the worms' living quarters. A loose cover keeps flies and light out and worms and moisture in.
Just as with commercial bins, it's best to fill the bin with soaked coir and newspaper. (You can buy compressed coir bricks from garden supply stores, catalogs, and Web sites, and from sources of worm-composting supplies.) Garden soil may also be added. Make sure the mix is as damp as a wrung-out sponge rather than wet. Then introduce the purchased earthworms to their new home. Use your purchased worms for composting only—most commercially available worms are species that live only in manure or very rich soil and will not survive in average garden soil. One exception is the enriched soil in a greenhouse bed—if the greenhouse stays above freezing, worms will do very well there.
Feed your worms well-chopped vegetable matter mixed with a bit of water. Soft foods are best for the first few days; if food doesn't disappear in 24 hours, reduce the amount. For faster composting, run the food through a blender, since worms don't have teeth to tear off large chunks. The population should double in about a month; after 60 days, your bin should be full of rich compost.
To harvest the compost, but save your earthworms for another session, place the compost outdoors on a sheet of heavy plastic or fabric, and let it sit for about an hour. The worms will cluster together to stay cool and moist. Dig in and find the cluster. Return the worms to the bin or start a second bin.


text: Extended Shoulder Burnout Top Style: 570075417 Out of Stock Love it? Everyone else did too. This item sold out! Use our search tool, chat online or call 1.877.948.2525 to find something equally desirable. Lightweight tee embellished with a baroque motif, bugle beads and delicate chiffon trim with picot edging. 53% Cotton, 47% Polyester. Hand wash or dry clean. Imported. Stretch fit. Semi-sheer. Length: 24.5". Read More… Share on Facebook Tweet Pin


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I'm too nice for this thread!
* leaves
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.
+ 33.
No one would abandon anyone here!
For Moderation Concerns, please contact a Global:
Tziva ■ Darsithis ■ Radux ■ Simca ■ Elysia ■ Zaelsino ■ xskarma ■ Arlee
+ 32
+ 28
Just got home from work, and have to go to sleep soon to get up for work tomorrow
They have me closing one night and opening the next!
Oh, Puri. Treann asked me to show you this. I don't know if you've seen it yet or not.


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'At 2:45, forward P.J. Stock tried to jumpstart the Bruins when he took on Sabres enforcer Rob Ray. The pair exchanged punches, and Stock clearly got the worst of it. His wave to the crowd, normally a bit of an event in itself, was done with a painful look on his face.'
Bruins break even
February 6, 2002 Submitted by
Via: Boston Globe


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'The Golisano ownership era is set to close with Terry Pegula's purchase of the Sabres, expected to be completed by the end of the month. Golisano and minority owner Larry Quinn will hold a news conference at noon today in HSBC Arena to discuss the sale. They are certain to talk about the highlights of their past and reasons to be excited for the future. One reason is clear: The organization leaves Golisano's hands in better shape than it entered them, at least as far as off-ice matters are concerned.'
Last minute of play in the Golisano era
February 3, 2011 Submitted by
Via: Buffalo News


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PROC_HILs is a hardware-in-the-loop acceleration tool for running Simulink designs on FPGAs. It can automatically translate Simulink designs into FPGA code and run them as part of a Simulink simulation. The generated code is compatible with the PROC board installed on the target PC, and has the synchronization code needed to communicate with Simulink. The conversion of the Simulink models into HDL code is accomplished by either Simulink® HDL Coder or Altera DSP Builder, along with GiDEL tools. The simulation of a Simulink design, or any part of it run on a high-capacity, high-speed PROC board is significantly accelerated.
To enable PROC_HILs the user adds a generation block to the design. PROC_HILs works in two phases: the preparation phase and the simulation phase.
In the preparation phase, clicking on the GiDEL generation block opens the PROC_HILs interface. Pressing the Go button will automatically:
In the simulation phase, the user may run the generated model accelerated by the FPGA or the original model.
Advanced users can stop the automatic process and have manual control over the different stages providing a variety of options, such as adding legacy HDL designs and operating target system designs run from users' C++ programs.
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Fax: 868-615-6810


text:
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text:
Seven home games highlight the 2013 Canisius College men's soccer schedule, released by head coach Dermot McGrane on Tuesday.
The Griffs open the 2013 campaign on the road at Bucknell on Aug. 30. Canisius also plays at St. Francis (Pa.) on Sept. 1 before returning to Buffalo face UMass Lowell in its home opener on Sept. 8.
Canisius also hosts Robert Morris (Sept. 15) in non-conference action, while playing at Buffalo (Sept. 11), Western Michigan (Sept. 20), Detroit (Sept. 22) and St. Bonaventure (Sept. 29).
The Griffs begin their quest for a MAAC Championship on Oct. 5, hosting Manhattan. Canisius also welcomes conference foes Siena (Oct. 16), Niagara (Oct. 30), Iona (Nov. 2) and Monmouth (Nov. 9) to the Demske Sports Complex, while playing at Marist (Oct. 9), Fairfield (Oct. 12), Quinnipiac (Oct. 19), Saint Peter's (Oct. 26) and Rider (Nov. 6).
The top four teams in the regular-season standings qualify for the 2013 MAAC Tournament, held on the campus of Fairfield. The semifinals are slated for Nov. 15 with the title game scheduled for Nov. 17.
The Griffs return seven starters and 19 letterwinners from the 2012 team that completed one of the most successful seasons in the program's history. The team received votes in the national poll for the first time in school history and reached as high as second in the NSCAA North Atlantic poll. In addition, Canisius finished the campaign with eight wins (tied for the most in school history against Division I competition) and over .500 for the first time since 1987.


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Cameron from Durango, Colorado writes:
I was reading on a website the other day and they were talking about balloon tips. Then they were talking about pop-up descriptions on my computer desktop and didn't call them balloon tips. I was just wondering if there was a difference.
Okay, Cameron, how can I explain this without driving us both nuts?
When I started looking for the answer to your question, I got really confused. There were balloon tips. There were pop-up tips. There were description tips. There were tooltips.
But they weren't. Check this out: They are called screen tips. Every single one of 'em.
Every single little text box that pops up over an icon that displays information about that icon (or program that it represents), no matter how much information is displayed, no matter what the box says, no matter what shape, size, or color they are, is called a screen tip. It's just that somewhere along the way (and this is only my opinion) somebody got bored with all of the "screen" tips and started renaming them for lack of something to do (or to get a good laugh by making sure that we wasted time trying to figure it all out). Here's what I mean:
Balloon tips: The "balloons" or bubbles that pop up when you hover over an icon in the notification area (the group of icons in the area next to the clock on the lower-right side of the screen).
There are actually two types of balloon tips. (I mean types of balloon screen tips.)The first kind notifies you of what's going on with your system, such as your network status, or how high your volume is.
Balloon tip type #1:
The second type of balloon tip (I mean balloon screen tip) simply states what program it is that you are hovering over.
Balloon tip type #2:
(These are all screen tips.)
Pop-up (description) tips: These are the little descriptions that pop up while your mouse is hovering over an icon, such as a Word document or a song. They describe what that icon represents and can give as little or as much detail as you want them to.
These kinds of pop-ups (I mean pop-up screen tips) are not limited to your desktop. They're in your documents, your pictures, you music – anywhere that a description needs to be, that's where pop-up tips (I mean pop-up screen tips) are.
(And yes, they are all screentips.)
Tooltips: These are the tips in the top right corner of your Start menu. They describe what the name of the folder your mouse is hovering over, and that's about it.
If you can have a favorite tip, these are my personal favorites. The reason why I dearly love tooltips (I mean tooltip screen tips) is because of the incredibly enjoyable time I had trying to get rid of them. I wanted to get rid of the "balloon tips" (that's what I thought they were called, but boy, do I know better now) that appeared every time I was at the top of the right side of my start menu (in the right pane). I went everywhere on the internet trying without any success to find out how you can get rid of them. I was ecstatic when I finally found out that they were not called balloon tips at all; they were called tooltips. I thought, "Finally! Hah! I know what they are so now I'll be able to get rid of them!" but – hah! I rejoiced too soon! They weren't tooltips, they were screen tips.
Clear as mud.
An added note: If you want to get rid any types of these (mostly unwanted and unnecessary) screen tips, there are methods to do so. But be forewarned: The method is different with each kind of screen tip. (Why am I not surprised?)
The bottom line is this: If it pops up over your icon – whether it's a description, a title, a book, a movie, your mother, a light bulb – it's a screentip. Period. End of discussion.
And the end of this article!
Thanks for writing, Cameron!
~ Lori Cline
Tags: screen tips


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Outdoor kitchen
Whether your backyard plans this summer revolve around a hibachi and a pair of folding chairs, or a fully equipped cooking and dining area, you're bound to be entertaining outdoors. With that in mind, we unveiled a new outdoor test kitchen here at Sunset's campus in Menlo Park, California, just in time for the warm weather.
As conceived by Palo Alto designer Robert Waterman of Waterman & Sun, and using products donated by our sponsors, the kitchen will let our food editors explore fresh cooking techniques and develop recipes to share with you ― we'll even be able to tape videos in it. Click through this gallery to see some of our favorite things about the kitchen. We hope you'll be inspired too.
Around The Web


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"He runs extremely hard," head coach Gary Joseph said. "He's a violent runner. Adam is a downhill runner who runs north-south. We work with him primarily out of the Pro-I, do some two-back and the pistol."
Having a player like Adam on the field is one thing when it comes to the tangibles he brings to the table. Then there are the intangibles, the leadership, and Coach Joseph says that Taylor is as good as he's ever had in that department.
"Adam is a real fine leader for this football team. He has an ability to will our kids. When we get in trouble Adam puts them on his back. He's one of the best leaders I have ever had on any of my football teams."
Every player that comes out of high school making the jump to the top of DI football needs to work on something. Taylor's coach said that there is something that he's been working on, but he's already getting better at it.
"Adam is going to have to work on his pad level. He's getting better at it and it's a work in progress. He's a one cut back. He makes a cut and then explodes. That is exactly what he needs to do in college."
Husker fans are interested in hearing about Taylor's official visit to Lincoln this weekend. Bottom line is that Taylor doesn't do very many interviews, but Coach Joseph was able to talk a little bit about Taylor's experience.
"Adam took his official visit to Nebraska this past weekend. He told me that it was a good visit and said that he was really impressed with the facilities at Nebraska. He will still make some other trips after the playoffs."
Katy has their first playoff game this week when they take on Houston (Texas) Westbury.
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text: I bought a Springfield EMP about 2 weeks ago from there & had it shipped to my local FFL dealer. I had no problems what so ever. The transaction went very smooth. I ordered the pistol on a thursday afternoon and it arrive tha following Monday. In fact my FFL guy was the one who told me about them, he said he done transfer's in the pass and they were very reputable outfit.


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Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012
Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 is the complete ERP solution for enterprises that provides a purpose-built foundation across five industries, along with comprehensive, core ERP functionality for financial, human resources, and operations management. It empowers your people to anticipate and embrace change so that your business can thrive. All of this is packaged in a single global solution, giving you rapid time to value. The content on this website provides an overview of your key licensing options.
What's new in Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012
Microsoft is committed to continually delivering powerful, agile, easy-to-use solutions that add value across your organization, today and tomorrow. The release of Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 is a delivery on this commitment. With more than 1,000 new features and enhancements across core enterprise resource planning (ERP) and industry capabilities, Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 can help provide more business value faster, enable agility and insight in your organization, and help drive faster adoption, broader usage, and easier maintenance and upgrade through a continued emphasis on simplicity.
Couple this with a constant focus on pervasive interoperability—the natural interaction of ERP systems with Microsoft business productivity applications and IT infrastructure technology—and the release will help sharpen your competitive edge and empower your people to anticipate and embrace change.
For more information, please refer to the What's new in Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 fact sheet (PDF, 1.26 MB).
How to buy Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012
For qualifying customers, Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 is available to license under the familiar Server/Client Access License (CAL) model through the Enterprise Agreement or Enrollment for Education Solutions volume licensing programs. Under this model, the server(s) running the solution require a Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 Server license, and users or devices accessing the server(s) require a CAL.
Licensing a server to run the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution
Before you run any instance of the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 Server software under a Server license, you must assign that license to one of your servers. That server is the licensed server for that particular license. You may assign other Server licenses to the same server, but you may not assign the same license to more than one server. A hardware partition or blade is considered a separate server.
For each Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 Server license that you assign, you may run, at any one time, one instance of the server software in one physical or virtual operating system environment (OSE) on the licensed server. The Server license includes one application object server. If you want additional application object servers or additional server instances, you may purchase additional Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 Server licenses.
Licensing access to the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution
Access to the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution's functionality is licensed through CALs. Any time a user directly or indirectly accesses the solution functionality, that user must be licensed by a User CAL (which licenses a specific user for access via multiple devices) or the device the user is using must be licensed by a Device CAL (which licenses access through the licensed device by any user).
There are four available CAL levels for Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012, each of which grants an increasingly wider spectrum of use rights, inclusive of the rights granted for any lower-level CAL. This gives customers the flexibility to license the solution based on how their users will use and derive value from the solution.
As you progress from the lowest level CAL (Self Serve) to the highest level (Enterprise), the user is licensed to use the solution in ways that will provide more value. Customers therefore have the flexibility to decide the level of investment to make based upon the functions that a certain group of users is performing on behalf of the organization.
Access by external users
External (third-party) users do not require licenses. Third-party users are users who are not either (i) your or your affiliates' employees, or (ii) your or your affiliates' contractors or agents. In this sense, the definition of third-party users does not extend to onsite contractors, vendors, and users performing business processes on your behalf.
Multiplexing is the use of hardware or software to reduce the number of devices or individuals that access or use the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution by pooling connections. Multiplexing does not reduce the number of licenses required to access the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution. Any user that accesses the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012—whether directly or indirectly—must be properly licensed.
Note: Any user or device that accesses the server, files, or data or content provided by the server that is made available through an automated process requires a CAL.
Licensing additional software
Licenses for additional software that may be required for the solution, such as Windows Server, Microsoft SQL Server, and Microsoft SharePoint Server and their corresponding CALs, are not included with the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 licenses. They must be acquired separately in accordance with licensing models for those products. These licenses may be purchased through traditional volume licensing channels.
Refer to the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 licensing guide (1.49 MB) for details.
Frequently asked questions about Dynamics AX 2012 licensing
- How is Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 licensed?
Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 is licensed through the Server/CAL licensing model. The Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 functionality is licensed with the Server license, while access to that functionality by users or devices is licensed through Client Access Licenses (CALs).
- How many Server licenses do I need?
You need one Server license for each instance of the server software that you run.
- Can I run multiple instances of the software under a single Server license?
No. For each license that you assign to a server, you may run one instance of the software in either the physical operating system environment (OSE) or a virtual OSE. If you want to run additional instances, you must acquire additional Server licenses.
- How are CALs licensed?
You can choose to license CALs on a per user or per device basis. With user CALs, an individual user is licensed to access Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 from any number of devices. With device CALs, the licensed device can be used to access Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 by any number of users.
- Can CALs be shared?
No. CALs are licensed on a named user basis or named device basis, meaning the CAL is assigned to a specific individual or device. Sharing CALs (also known as "concurrent use") is not permitted.
- What CALs are available?
There are four available CAL levels for Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012, and eight CALs offered (also known as SKUs), because there are two CALs per CAL level (four per User and four per Device). Each grants an increasingly wider spectrum of use rights, inclusive of the rights granted for any lower-level CAL. This gives you the flexibility to license the solution based on how your users will use and derive value from the Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 solution. The four CAL levels are:
Enterprise CAL
Functional CAL
Task CAL
Self Serve CAL
- How do the CAL levels differ?
The four CALs differ in the level of Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 functionality to which the licensed user or device has access. For example, a user with an Enterprise CAL can access any Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 functionality, while a user with a Task CAL can access only a subset of functionality. Higher level CALs encompass all of the rights of lower level CALs.
- Do external users require CALs?
No, external (third-party) users do not require CALs. Third-party users are users who are not either (i) the customer's or the customer's affiliates' employees, or (ii) the customer's or the customer's affiliates' contractors or agents.
- Are contractors and vendors considered external users?
It depends. On-site contractors, vendors, and users performing business processes on the customer's behalf are considered internal users. Off-site vendors are considered external users when their time is shared among multiple customer organizations (for example, IT support service vendors serving multiple customer organizations) and they are not in an employee-like relationship.
- How do I know which CAL a user needs?
The required CAL depends on what Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 functionality the user will access. Each CAL level provides a set of use rights that range from very limited (Self Serve) to unlimited/full (Enterprise). You can find the CAL levels use rights in the Product Terms.


text:
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Turkey's top generals signaled the military is opposed to lifting the ban on women wearing a headscarf in university settings. Chief of General Staff General Yasar Buyukant told reporters that "All segments of Turkish society know what the military thinks about the headscarf issue. To say anything would be nothing more than stating the obvious. This is why I do not want to say anything." The military regards itself as the protector of the secular state that has endured for most of the past 100 years. General Buyukant reaffirmed he would not meet with Iraqi President Jalal Talabani when he visits Turkey. The Turkish military is not satisfied with efforts by Iraq to take effective action against Kurdish rebels who operate on Iraqi soil.
The ever present danger in Turkey is potential military action if the current religious Muslim Justice and Development leaders continue efforts to bring a greater religious sense to government. The military opossed the election of Gul as president because they regarded him as too religious minded. It is still unclear if the push for religion grows stronger how the militay will respond. In the past it has overthrown governments it regarded as threatening the secular foundation of Turkey.


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The things we'll do for love.
When Google officially unveiled its newest Android operating system almost exactly one month ago, Matias Duarte, senior director of Android User Experience, told a rapt Hong Kong audience, "While people like Android, while people need Android, they didn't love Android."
Everyone knew exactly what he was getting at. Android might be the world's most dominant smartphone OS with a 52 percent market share among global users, but compared to iOS, and even the upstart Windows Phone, it's just not very fun.
Indeed, Android is feature-packed and powerful, but it's always been the mobile OS for nerds. It's a workhorse, not the prancing pony you just want to hug.
And so the latest version of Android — Ice Cream Sandwich, or ICS — was developed from the ground up to be, as Duarte described it, "enchanting." I've spent the last 24 hours playing with ICS via Samsung's Galaxy Nexus smartphone, and I can report it's filled with buckets of surprise and delight.
This is not an incremental revision. In the quest for Android love, Duarte's team clearly committed itself to a successful courtship. ICS is a significant overhaul from Gingerbread (Android 2.3), and once users really begin poking around its nooks and crannies, they'll find a raft of features that not only work well, but should also provoke smiles.
These are all seemingly small enhancements, but they leave the impression that Google's Android team descended upon its source code in coveralls and hard hats, and proceeded to renovate, refinish, and repaint every square inch of the OS.
All physical navigation buttons have been excised. In their place: Virtual buttons that throb and glow when pressed. Live wallpapers now grace a new home screen with serene, slow-moving animations. And even cooler animations surface when you swipe through your apps tray or photo gallery and come to the end of the list — the icons shift en masse on a central axis, as if to say, "You're pulling me, but I can't go any farther, so it's time to stop."
And how's this for fun and convenience: When reading email messages, you can flick your screen right or left to read any message that comes before or after the one you're currently reading. This basic flick gesture appears throughout the new OS. You can use it to quickly remove individual alerts in your Notifications list, individual browser thumbnails in your browser Tabs view, and any recently used app in the new Recents menu (which is a transplant from Honeycomb, the Android tablet OS).
The list of ICS enhancements goes on. Home-screen widgets are now resizable. A new calendar app has cells that expand and collapse with a simple pinch, allowing you to view either smaller or larger blocks of time. The browser is now not only ostensibly faster (though this could be credited to Samsung's hardware), but also includes a Save for Offline Reading feature that allows you to suck down any page for reading off the grid. In the same menu where that feature is located, you can hit Request Desktop Site to directly navigate away from the browser's default mobile-optimized view.
These are all seemingly small enhancements, but leave the impression that Google's Android team descended upon its source code in coveralls and hard hats, and proceeded to renovate, refinish, and repaint every square inch of the OS.
They added some architectural additions, too. Some work fabulously, others stumble — as is Google's wont in its perpetual state of iterative, quasi-betatude.
All this, plus they added some architectural additions, too. Some work fabulously, others stumble — as is Google's wont in its perpetual state of iterative, quasi-betatude.
First, let's talk about voice-controlled text input. Yes, Google has improved it. It seems to be faster, and a bit more accurate, making fewer ridiculous mistakes. The voice control feature now also reveals the words you're dictating in something best described as "molasses-slow real-time." The new voice control implementation isn't as accurate as Apple's Siri by any means, but at least you don't have to hit "done" to see what you've dictated.
Hardware security also receives an upgrade — of sorts. When ICS users begin plumbing the depths of their Settings menu, they will inevitably be drawn to the much-ballyhooed Face Unlock feature, which uses facial recognition technology to associate your mug with the phone's security system.
You set it up by letting the phone's front-facing camera scan your face. Once this is complete, you choose a secondary unlocking mechanism to be used as a fail-safe in case Face Unlock doesn't work.
The security scheme is easy to set up — and as easy to fool as it's likely to fail. I tested the system repeatedly, maybe 50 times, and it failed to recognize my face about 20 percent of the time. I credit user error, as I wasn't always looking directly into the camera. Still, it's worth noting that even when Face Unlock does work, it's not as fast as entering a key or pattern code, begging the question, Why use it at all?
More disturbingly, Face Unlock was easily spoofed. As the website Soyacincau.com demonstrated in its now-viral video, you can unlock your ICS phone by holding up a photo of your face to the locked screen. I executed this move repeatedly, but to be fair, Google doesn't promote Face Unlock as NSA-caliber technology. Before you even set up the feature, you're greeted by the following disclaimer: "Face Unlock is less secure than a pattern, PIN or password. Someone who looks similar to you could unlock the phone."
Also in Settings, you'll find Data Usage, a brilliant, well-executed tool that shows you exactly how much data you've been chomping down. The main view is a timeline that reveals data use over a series of days. Here you can set a warning at, say, 1.9GB to let you know when you're about to trip that ubiquitous 2GB pain threshold (alternately, you can set a hard stop on how much data will actually be pulled down from your carrier's network). You can also dig further into individual apps, seeing their data appetites in a pie graph, and going straight to their settings menus if any need to be put on a diet.
Together with the right hardware build, ICS can knock out rapid-fire photo capture — if there's any shutter lag at all, it's imperceptible, almost like the OS has its own motor drive. The camera software also now comes with a number of pre-shot settings, such as tap-to-focus (useful for getting a crisp image of a particular person or object) and a slider to zoom in and out (though we all know that digital zoom is really just a trivial convenience, as zoomed-in image quality always suffers).
But it's in post-production where ICS really shines as an OS for photography. Click on any image you've shot, and you can crop, rotate, straighten, flip, and apply a dizzying array of effect and filters. And most ingenious of all, you can hit an icon to directly submit an image to your Picasa, Twitter Google+ accounts, or send it to a friend via email or text. Even better, an Instant Upload feature lets you automatically deposit every shot you take to Google+ cloud storage. Hint: Don't make that storage location public.
You can now also snap a photo directly from your phone's lock screen. There's also a simple panorama function that automatically stitches together multiple images. And now Movie Studio, the able video editor introduced in Honeycomb, is available for phone use as well. In total, ICS is so jam-packed with photo and video functionality, it shuts the door entirely on ever needing a cheap, semi-disposable mini-cam like the Flip.
Finally, Google has introduced a new People app that rolls up your contacts list and extended social media functionality in one big ball of fun.
All your People contacts can be viewed in striking, bold thumbnails (though, vexingly, it seems the only way to get high-res thumbnail versions is by syncing your phone with your Google+ account, and making the contact a favorite). Click on a thumbnail, and up comes a robust profile of your contact. You can see his or her email address, and recent Google+ activity.
These people profiles bubble up to the surface throughout ICS. In Gmail, for example, you can click on the image of the person who sent you an email, and up comes a truncated People profile — along with direct links to all the various ways you may contact this person: all of his or her phone numbers, plus direct links to Google+, SMS, email, and more.
In all, Ice Cream Sandwich is a generous complement of clever features. The OS immediately elevates any phone past other Android competitors that may be considered for purchase. Voice dictation still falls far behind iOS, but aside from that and the vastly better selection of apps available for iOS, Android is easily just as enchanting to use, and markedly more robust.
Do I "love" Ice Cream Sandwich? No. Love is a big word that I reserve for living creatures. But after spending a good amount of time with the new OS, I look at my iPhone 4S and feel jealous that I can't tap into all of the new Android fun.
Ice Cream Sandwich will launch on the Samsung Galaxy Nexus, and should eventually be an update for Motorola's Droid RAZR, Droid Bionic and Xoom, as well as the Samsung Galaxy S II and HTC Rezound. Bottom line: If you're an Android user, you'll want ICS on your smartphone or tablet.Go Back to Top. Skip To: Start of Article.


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Dr. Cholm W. Williams
Dr. Cholm W. Williams
Dr Cholm Williams is one of Sydney's senior and most experienced Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons, having trained in this field in Sydney, the UK and the USA, and practised in the Upper North Shore since 1974.
Cosmetic and Reconstructive Surgery are but two sides of the same coin, both aiming to produce or enhance normal Appearance and Function, (both Physical and Social), with minimal evidence of surgical intervention.
This requires extensive training and experience in both areas, always with the knowledge that no surgery should be undertaken lightly.
Special Interests
Aesthetic (Cosmetic) Surgery
- Nasal shaping and airway clearance
- Facial surgery [Face/neck lift, facial liposuction and facial implants]
- Breast Surgery [Breast lift, breast augmentation and breast reduction]
- Abdominal Surgery
- Liposuction [Male and Female]
- Calf and Chest augmentation
- General Reconstructive Surgery
- Skin Cancer Surgery
Sydney Adventist Hospital, Wahroonga
SAN Day Surgery, Hornsby
Curriculum Vitae
MB. BS. Sydney University, 1964
Resident / Registrar, RPAH 1965-70
FRACS. General Surgery, 1970
Senior Registrar, Northern Ireland Plastic and Maxillo-facial Service, 1971-73
Clinical Fellow in Plastic Surgery, IRPS,
NYU Medical Centre, 1973-1974
Prosector Sydney University 1961
Wolfe-Soloman-Brown Anatomy Prize
BAPS Travelling Fellowship 1974
Dow Corning Award 1985
ASPS Medal 2006
ASAPS Inaugural Oration 2006
Australian Doctors Fund Medal 2007
Professional Associations
Click here to contact Dr. Williams for more information.


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|Up a level
Number of items: 1.
Hussaini, H. M. and Lim, P. K. and Rahman, R. A. and Abraham, T. and Cheong, C. S. and Zain, R. B. and Ismail, M. S and Nam, A. N. (2006) Expression of human b-defensin-3 in oral squamous cell carcinoma using tissue microarray - A preliminary study. Journal Of Oral Pathology & Medicine, 35 (7). pp. 432-433. ISSN 0904-2512


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Discussion in 'Pistons and NBA' started by dozero, Jul 5, 2012.
I don't think Sessions is a good fit for our roster for the reasons above
So you're saying there is no reason not to bring him aboard?
he is not a SF
Yep. Brandon has already earned that starting gig. We all know the kid works extremely hard - Will Bynum being an awful PG shouldn't be a reason to bring some other guy who hasn't earned anything within this team in to start just because one doesn't like his backup. That's foolish in the extreme.
I believe we all should be in favor of grooming ourselves.
Its not foolish if you don't think he is going to make it. I am not sure yet about Brandon but it is worth another year to find out. A full year at normal pace with pre-season and all that. Lets see what he has.
He shot 38% from beyond the arc as a rookie who only played 1 year of college ball. Brandon will NEVER pass the eye test with me, I just don't like how his game looks, but the kid can play. There is always a Ramon Sessions available in free agency, no need to buy this one.
Totally agree! I'm really stoked to see Brandon Knight after a full summer league and training camp under his belt. The kid is a student of the game and the extra "study time" should do him some more good compared to most other players. I read that he put on 10 pound of muscle since the season ended.
Last year he did not have a summer league or a tranning camp or a pre-season. ist 20 or so games were wasted due to Frank having to reshape the team. I think he should get at least one full season to see what he has, we will see.
OK I will recant my original comments regarding giving a looksey at Sessions. I only thought Joe needed to look at him because the writer made some good points about our lack of guard play behind Knight and Stuckey, >> including Will Don't mistake me for my cousin Andrew Bynum. Knight looked good today passing the rock to a bunch a rooks.....his assists will definitely go up as court awareness improves and he actually passing to veterans. he FT shooting wasn't as bad as Drummonds, but it was the first day of camp and he has time to work on it. I was really impressed with the Piston rookie Kim English who hit several jumpers form the outside.
Separate names with a comma.


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Fantastic!by Tran - verified purchaser
Sleek design and have got a lot of compliment with it. Definitely a head turner(which rarely happens). Shield doesn't fog up and air flow is phenomenal. Down right the best helmet I've owned in a long time. Don't take my word for it, try it out and see for yourself.


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Oregon Historical County Records Guide
Multnomah County Scenic Images
Latourell Falls
buy high resolution copy | next image
Latourell Falls. (Photo No. mulDA0026a)
About this image
Dimensions: 2571 x 3872 pixels (300 dpi version); Date created: September 2010; Camera: Nikon D80 Digital SLR; Lens: Nikon AF-S DX Zoom-Nikkor 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6G IF-ED; Photographer citation: Gary Halvorson, Oregon State Archives; Keywords/Tags: vertical, Oregon, Multnomah County, Cascade Mountains, Columbia River Gorge, Columbia Gorge, Latourell Falls, waterfall, falling water, tourism, recreation, hiking, sightseeing, rock.
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County guide home | Scenic images home


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Description:A longer piece than usual. This starts out beautiful with building sweeping strings that leads into a movie climax. Very climatic and Hollywood. A memorable melody is played on strings towards the beginning that is repeated in an epic fashion once the escalation has peaked towards the end.
The BPM varies for the sake of feeling to take place with the sweeping strings. Starts out at 72 then goes to 75, however at the end it doesn't feel as slow as 75.
Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by.
I live in Los Angeles USA and compose for Audiojungle full time. I have been composing/producing music for about 10+ years now. Its my life's passion and I'm very grateful to be able to make money with it.
A little shameless vanity: I've composed for Dateline, Grimm, Law and Order, Pretty Little Liars, Saturday Night Live and have had my music on NBC, ABC, TLC, HBO, TNT, National Geographic Channel, Animal Planet, OWN, MTV, FUSE as well as many other networks. I have also had the pleasure of having my music used by hundreds of corporations, commercials and trailers.
VideoHive Artists! Your free to use any of my tracks, just let me know and I'll paste a link to the video you use it in.
Again thank you so much for stopping by, your the reason I get to do what I love!...even if you don't use anything today, hopefully you'll be back


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Now Rumors Are Swirling That Samsung Will Buy Nokia
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Why the Dodgers didn't get Dempster
The Los Angeles Dodgers never budged.
They had four young pitchers whom they refused to trade for a potential free agent such as right-hander Ryan Dempster. And they ultimately lost Dempster to the Texas Rangers when none of their other offers satisfied the Chicago Cubs.
The four untouchables in the Dempster talks, according to major-league sources, were right-handers Zach Lee, Allen Webster and Rubby De La Rosa, and left-hander Chris Reed.
The Dodgers kept all of them — and most of their other better prospects — while acquiring infielder Hanley Ramirez, center fielder Shane Victorino and relievers Brandon League and Randy Choate in three different trades.
The team's failure to land Dempster left it without a replacement for right-hander Nate Eovaldi, who went to the Miami Marlins in the Ramirez/Choate trade.
However, De La Rosa and lefty Ted Lilly currently are on rehabilitation assignments, and Webster and right-hander John Ely are additional options in the minors.
— Ken Rosenthal
McClendon has a "calm demeanor"? Sure he does - until he loses his temper and goes beserk. Nobody can go ballistic better than Lloyd. One of his best was when he couldn't win an argument with the 1st base umpire, so he picked up the 1st base bag and carried it back to the dugout. It was classic. Kind of reminded me of Bob Knight at this best.


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Call Us 01536 314 738
A collection of solid colour and blended gloss finish small mosaic tiles on a mesh netting. These unique mini mosaics are a lot smaller the standard mosaic tiles, with each individual tile measuring 14x14x5mm. Ideal for any Kitchens, Bathrooms and Swimming pools, perfect for Commercial areas.


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A new report from researchers at Bristol and Durham Universities claims student interest in the sciences is being crushed by over focus on passing tests which invariably translates into boring memorization activities rather than stimulating teaching. Students are being taught to pass tests rather than "having their natural curiosity of science cultivated and harnessed." Professors Wynne Harlen and Peter Tymms argue that while more students are passing tests children's understanding of science has decreased. Tymms argues, "the purpose of science in primary school should be to foster of sense of curiosity and positive attitudes in the young child. We suspect the current national approach to science in primary school is not impacting on children's scientific thought and curiosity."
After teaching for 52 years I never cease to be amazed why reports must be commissioned to report what any teacher already knows who spends time stimulating the creative juices of students. Or, one could simply sit down and have a pleasant talk with some children about science and what was obtained from the report could be secured within an hour.


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Tip: Put a + in front of words that must be included. To search for Monster Hunter and only receive results with both words, use +Monster +Hunter
Pictures of The one and only daughter of Overlord Zenon!
Includes progress shots
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New Collection: MAC Beauty Powder Blush
Shimmering fine particles impart soft colour in hard candy palette, to sweet and subtle effect. Eight shades of giddy deliciousness with pearl sheen and jet-milled perfection, to keep the glow going. New M·A·C innovation for limited time only! Silky-fine, shot with pearl, this blush inspires a subtle glow in tandem with pure, bright, colour vibe. Ultra-smooth, delivers a light and alluring shimmer together with a high-colour payoff. In every way luxurious. Limited Edition.
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Authors Guild, Book Settlement, copyright, Google, Internet, second circuit, UK, US, YouTube
A quick note to mark the passing of 2011 and the start of 2012. Thank you all for reading and commenting here (and on Twitter) on the stories that have been reported on these pages. I'm looking forward to posting much more in 2012.
There has been plenty to contemplate in the last 12 months and we look forward to new challenges and opportunities in the months that lie ahead. Several big IP cases look likely to make their mark next year, including Viacom v. YouTube, The Authors' Guild v. Google and NLA v. Meltwater, and we may begin to see the fallout of the (UK) Supreme Court's ruling that foreign copyright claims can be adjudicated in the English courts.
Whatever plans you have for next year, I hope they will be realized, that you enjoy the chase, and that you will be challenged by the work that you do.


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Town Square
New Gallery to Open in San Francisco
Original post made by John Barry, Danville, on Nov 13, 2009
Other members of the Association to date include Diana Busse, Bill Carmel, Kevin Davidson, Marie Dutcher-Dreyer, Don Eagling, Eddie Fitzgerald, Joseph Hovadik, Leslie Ruth, Bill Weber, and Hooshang Yashar.
"We were looking for an exhibition space," says Davidson, a founding member of United Artists, "and had exhausted the possibilities in the East Bay. When we found an opportunity to get a venue in a prime location in San Francisco, a major U.S. city and cultural destination, we jumped at the chance."
Davidson notes that the gallery expects to not only feature paintings and sculptures but also to host poets, performance artists, and musicians. "We plan to offer an exciting environment for artists working in nearly any medium," says Davidson.
The venue is ideal for a gallery, Davidson explains. It provides a wealth of wall and floor space, and the gallery's north wall is nearly all window, admitting natural light that enhances the already attractive exhibition area.
An opening reception is scheduled for December 5, 2009, at 6 P.M.
Artists interested in becoming members of the United Artists Association should contact Bill Carmel at firstname.lastname@example.com. Davidson is recuperating from a bicycle accident (more on that in a future installment).
a resident of another community
on Nov 14, 2009 at 6:56 pm
Dear Dolores,
Might we have John and Bill update us on the progress with Morman's Artful Herd, as life size resin horses used as artist's canvasses at sponsors' location throughout our corridor? Norman, the life-size horse on top of the old Alamo post office and in front of Alamo Hay & Grain has stimulated this interest in an Artful Herd.
a resident of Danville
on Nov 14, 2009 at 8:30 pm
What happened to the building that was suppose to be an arts building on El Cero /La Gonda and never took off could that not have served as a local place for the artist instead of san francisco??
a resident of Danville
on Nov 14, 2009 at 10:50 pm
The White Elephant building at La Gonda/El Cerro was never proposed as a fine art exhibition venue, but rather as a performing arts venue. I believe that the Town of Daville gave the keys to the local YMCA to develop. My understanding is that they had a time frame to raise the $millions necessary to complete the interior and make it work. A boondoggle in my opinion.


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This course will provide an introduction to the biological principles involved in human reproduction. Topics include the evolution of sex, reproductive anatomy and physiology, endocrinology, puberty, biology of gender, reproductive cycles, pregnancy, birth, fertility control, sexual disorders, and current issues in reproductive technology. Prerequisite: 4 hours in Biology.
Focuses on utilizing gender theory to examine various texts, considers interaction between male and female in literature in terms of both writer and reader, and how the constructed identities of gender, sexuality, and textuality shape and relate to one another. Prerequisite: ENG 200.
Introductory survey of the basic concepts and scope of gender including the intersections of sex, gender, race, class, and sexuality from the perspectives of the participating disciplines. It is recommended that students take GNDR 200 prior to enrolling in other Gender Studies courses.
This course introduces the student to knowledge and competencies necessary for health promotion and disease prevention. Emphasis is placed on the physical, social, spiritual, emotional, environmental, and intellectual domains of health. Health disparities will be examined with particular attention to the intersections of gender, race, class, and sexuality. Subtopics will focus on the most prevalent risk factors and diseases in our diverse, global society and will include obesity, cardiovascular disease, cancers, and sexually transmitted diseases among others. Required for secondary education majors.
A general survey of family and gender in comparative perspective that addresses family, gender and demographic systems as they vary and change through time and space. The course addresses family, demography and gender roles as they evolved from ancient times to the present in Europe, the Middle East, Asia, Africa and the Americas and considers the interaction of family and gender with economic, religious, political, institutional and demographic change. Prerequisite: One 200-level history course or permission of the department.
Survey of important issues in sexuality including sexual development, reproductive sexuality, social issues in sexuality, and dimensions of sexual expression. Prerequisite: PSY 206 or permission of department.
Mate selection; meaning of love, engagement; physical, psychological, and social adjustments in marriage; the development of research in marriage; legal aspects of marriage; the past, present, and future of marriage.
Critical review of problems resulting from social inequality (distribution of wealth, racial and ethnic relations, gender relations, sexism, health care), violations of social norms (substance abuse, violence, property crime), and social change (population growth, food, urbanization, environment). Prerequisite: SOCI 201 or permission of department.
Study of feminine and masculine roles and lifestyles, with emphasis upon socialization experiences in settings such as home and school; expression of gender roles in family, work, spiritual, artistic, and recreational activities; inequalities of opportunities and rewards, cultural influences upon preferred gender roles. Prerequisite: SOCI 201 or permission of department.
An introduction to the study of the relationship between human society and the physical environment, with an emphasis on the relationships among population growth, economic development, systems of inequality, and control and use of the natural environment. Local, regional, and global approaches will be used to understand environmental issues. An emphasis is placed on how the allocation of environmental resources (kind, amount, and quality) varies by race/ethnicity, gender, class, and nationality, and the different responses that these groups have to environmental problems/issues. Prerequisite: SOCI 201 or permission of department.
Scientific study of sports to better understand how they are practiced and what those practices mean. Using various theoretical approaches, the focus will be on topics as they relate to sports such as: identity, ideology, children, gender, race and ethnicity, the media, economics, politics, globalization, drugs and violence. Prerequisite: SOCI 201 or permission of department.
Consideration of the families in private settings and as a focus of public policy; impacts of social inequalities (class, race, and ethnicity) on family life; changing patterns of family relationships; work and family life; conflict and disruption in family relationships including divorce, remarriage, and step/blended families. Prerequisite: SOCI 201 or permission of department.
Historical and current urban growth patterns, theoretical perspectives regarding urban structure and change, distribution of power and other resources in urban settings, urban cultural and social forms, problems of urban areas, strategies of urban planning. Examines how gender, racial/ethnic, class, and other group relations affect urban processes and life. Prerequisite: SOCI 202 or permission of department.
Scientific study of population size, composition, and distribution; analysis of trends and differentials in birth rates, death rates, and migration by race/ethnicity, gender, class, age, and nationality; consideration of actual and potential pressures of population on natural resources; the interrelationship of population and the social structure as it varies by race/ethnicity, class, gender, age, and nationality. Prerequisite: SOCI 202.
Study of non-fiction text through the lens of gender and rhetorical theory. Students will compose critical essays, prepare presentations, and conduct research for a final project focusing on gender and language. Prerequisite: ENG 200 or permission of department.


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World "experts" continue to declaim and declare about what is happening inside the Iranian government, but reality is we are guessing and no one really knows what is being discussed by Ayatollah Khamenei and President Ahmadinejad. The Iranian government made a sudden turn and agreed to allow inspectors from the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) to visit their nearly complete heavy water reactor and having barred entry into the site for over a year. The concession came days before publication of a new IAEA report that is supposedly highly critical of Iran's lack of cooperation with the agency.
Barack Obama and other Western leaders are warning of further sanctions and actions without evidence of Iranian cooperation. Frankly, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Iranian leaders, we sure don't.


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|Topic Review (Newest First)
|Michael J Roberts
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Hi all
We are free, before I tell the story, here are some facts:
1. our boat is 14m long
2. we arrived in Rhodes in 2003 from Turkey and got a Transit Log
3. we sail about ten weeks a year then put the boat on the hard and lodge our Transit Log with the Preveza customs
4. we get our Transit Log stamped once or twice each year as we potter aroun the Ionian
5. in all that time no Port Police have ever asked us to pay the Reciprocal Tax
6. two years ago we were given a photocopy of the law by the Zakinthos Police but no mention was made about paying anything
Now the story. We sat in dread for about five days, watched over by a big coast guard boat (this could be my paranoia). Then we rang the local lawyer we had asked to help us. She was ill, out of action for days, days we could not endure. So we went to the Port Police, I had 1,000 euros in cash in a plastic bag in my pocket. We spoke to the head policeman, he was sympathetic, there were no other goons in the office except one young guy who interpreted. The mood was different: "Of course we didn't expect you to come up with 9,500 euros" Within minutes a deal was done - we would pay the first year's tax and "Put that money away, you take it to the Tax Office in the square." Every thing was done very correctly - pay the cash at the Tax Office, take the receipt back to the Police.
The calculation is this 14.68 euros per meter x 14 meters x 4 lots of three months + 23% tax = 1010 euros.
We have eight years to go and every year another 1010 euros will be added.
The Port Police seem to have a procedures manual called "Yachtsmen" - this contains the law. Do not be confused with another law which exemts boats under 15m - this "Special Tax" law was repealed two years ago.
When I get back to Sydney in August I will scan the documents detailing the law and send them to anyone who is interested.
Happy sailing all
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Thanks very much for this extra information Geoff. Yes, this looks like the law we are dealing with. Using a conversion I found on the internet (Convert Euros (EUR) and Greek Drachmas (GRD): Currency Exchange Rate Conversion Calculator) the 5,000 Drachmas converts to EUR14.67 per metre, which is the same (less a Euro cent) than the figure Michael quotes. I guess there could have been amendments in the detail of the law since 1999, but this is a great start.
We are heading off cruising for a few weeks now, so won't do any more on this for a while. We will post if there are any developments.
Re: Danger - Greek taxes
Thanks for that update, Periwinkle as Michael hasnt posted again, maybe you will keep us informed.
A quick search came up with the relevant law, from 1999, although, as taxes are in drachma, it has probably been updated since then.
Recreational vessels and other provisions.
6. a) On foreign flag private recreational vessels a special compensatory contribution in favour of the State will be imposed, for a three-month period of stay, in consideration of the facilities provided to them during their stay in the country.
b) Such contribution is fixed at the amount of five thousand drachmas (GRD 5,000) for each metre of the private recreational vessel's length overall and it will become due and payable as of the conclusion of the three-month period. The contribution shall accrue from the date of entry of the vessel in the Greek territorial waters to the conclusion of the vessel's three-month stay in Greece and, then, to the conclusion of each next following three-month period. If the vessel leaves the country prior to the conclusion of the three-month period but she enters again the country within a period of one month, then such contribution will be due and payable upon the conclusion of three months, but the time period preceding the vessel's exit will be taken into account.
c) The coast guard authority, in addition to the sanctions laid down in this law, will be entitled to prohibit the departure of a private recreational vessel until the contribution due is paid.
d) No contribution will be imposed on private recreational vessels flying the flag of a member country of the European Union (EU), of a country of the European Economic Area (EEA) or the flag of one of the countries of the European Free Trade Association (EFTA), excluding Switzerland, on condition that the EU Treaty is in force and effect in the territory of the State in which the ship registers (in which these vessels are recorded) are kept.
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Originally Posted by tdw View Post
I'm still only guessing here but I figure this is a case of "everybody has been doing it and not getting caught" .... only this time they did.
Re: Danger - Greek taxes
We are an Australian boat cruising in Greece, we know Michael (the original poster) and can provide some additional information.
The tax is not the VAT. Michael's boat is VAT paid so that is not an issue for them. (It is an issue for us as our Australian registered boat is not EU-VAT paid so we have to manage our time in the EU not to exceed 18 months or be prepared to pay VAT). It is worth noting that EU boats are not liable for the tax (EU countries have already contributed enormously to Greece's maritime infrastructure as evidenced by the many port reconstruction projects funded by the EU as well as the losses they have made with the recent write-down of Greek Bonds).
Recently we have decided to stay in Greece for longer than 3 months. Even before learning of Michael's situation we started making enquiries about paying the tax. Since hearing Michael's story our enquiries have taken on more urgency. We have had frustrations with the Greek Port Police and Customs.
We originally entered Greece on Samos Island and the Customs officer there gave us a very clear lecture about the tax that Michael refers to. He told us that if the boat stays in Greece more than 3 months then we will be liable for the tax - and quoted an amount of about EUR250 for our 13 metre boat for each complete 3 month period. When we checked at Gytheon (in the Peloponnese) the Port Police officer there was able to quickly check his computer and give us the same information. So it seems that there are some officials in the Greek system who are aware of the tax.
However, since then we have enquired at two other locations and the Port Police and Customs appeared to have had no knowledge of the tax - even when pushed (and of course you can only push officials very gently). On one of these visits we even watched as a New Zealand boat checked out of the port and was only charged EUR20 despite having been in Greece for 8 months. The NZ skipper knew that he should probably have been changed more (he had EUR700 in his pocket in anticipation) but understandably did not push the point. These were the same officials that Michael has been dealing with for the 8-or-so years his boat has been in the country.
We expect to be spending more time in Greece in the future and do not want to end up in Michael's situation as a result of incompetent officials. We want to stay within the law and pay any taxes due (so we can sleep at night). We have asked Michael to send the details of the relevant law (which he now has a copy of).
It is anybody's guess about what might happen!
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Originally Posted by HeartsContent View Post
Socialism and poverty, how they cling to each other!
That contributes nothing to this thread - it belongs Off-Topic, if anywhere.
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Originally Posted by HeartsContent View Post
Socialism and poverty, how they cling to each other!
Re: Danger - greek taxes
What is the tax rate if I import a boat into the US ? Maybe it varies from state to state but I remember when contemplating buying a boat in the US that I had 90 days to remove it from US waters or taxes kicked in.
Situation here is most likely the same and the boat has simply sat in Greece for umpteen years. Greece has been know in the past for being very lax about tax collection, their current woes have no doubt hardened their resolve.
I'm still only guessing here but I figure this is a case of "everybody has been doing it and not getting caught" .... only this time they did.
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Originally Posted by DavidB.UK View Post
Can anybody tell me what the taxes are actually for?
For the privilege of entering Greek waters?
Or for spending money in the local shop and supermarkets?
For eating in local restaurants?
What are these taxes actually for?
Re: Danger - greek taxes
Originally Posted by DavidB.UK View Post
Can anybody tell me what the taxes are actually for?
For the privilege of entering Greek waters?
Or for spending money in the local shop and supermarkets?
For eating in local restaurants?
What are these taxes actually for?
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text: i'm am in need of a girth belt. i've looked on the cargo hold and done a few searches but these things go fast! looking for one that will fit around a 38" waist. need one with a little room as i don't like things fitting too tightly. please let me know. thanks in advance, bert


text:
New Sub-Species??
They are referred to as homo slackass-erectus created by natural genetic downward evolution through constant spineless posturing and spasmodic upper limb gestures, which new research has shown to cause shorter legs and an inability to ambulate other than in an awkward shuffling gait. The "drag-crotch" shape also seems to affect brain function. Expect no eye contact or intelligent verbal communication. Unfortunately most are highly fertile.
-- Bill Malik
Why science teachers are not allowed to chaperone recess
Brain Transplant
In the hospital where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, "How much will a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain."
The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed..
This scenario was repeated each time they made love for more than 40 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.
It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than forty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.
Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank..
She explained that for more than three decades she had 'charged' him for sex these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out,
'If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you ALL my business!'
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut
A priest and a Rabbi were discussing the priest's recent promotion, and that he would be serving a large diocese. So the rabbi asks: "So, what comes next?" And the priest says: "Well, if I prove myself a faithful and capable servant of the church, I could one day become a bishop."
"Nu, and vhat's above that?"
"Well, it's incredibly unlikely, but after many years of service, they might deign to appoint me as an archbishop."
"And then?"
"Well, this is purely hypothetical, but perhaps one day I could become a cardinal."
"Dat's very good. But vhat's the next step after dat?"
"Well, it almost certainly wouldn't happen, but in principle, I could be elected Pope."
"Ah, impressive. So then, vhat's above dat?"
"There IS NOTHING beyond that! The one who outranks the Pope is G-d Himself! What? You think I could become G-D?!"
To which the rabbi gently replies, tongue-in-cheek: "Vhy not? One of our boys made it."
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver-haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he says with a deep sigh ...
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
Today's offering reminds me of a politically incorrect joke...
Why is California like a bowl of granola?
What isn't fruits or nuts is flakes.
Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
Father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.
Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with
six girls but I can't date any of them because daddys their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says:
"My love, you can date whoever you want.
Dont listen to him He isn't your father.".
Son, fainted.
A man came home from golfing one day. His wife had left a note on the fridge: "It's not working, I can't take it anymore!! Gone to stay with my Mother."
He opened the fridge, the light came on, and the beer was cold.........
What the hell was she talking about??????
This one may bring a little tear to your eyes . . . Only a golfer
would understand this story of a GOLFER AT THE DENTIST.
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the
dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting
out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the
anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want
you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee
time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already... I don't
have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'
The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very
brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to
kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"
The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him . . . .
Old Man And The Beaver
An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up. The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.' I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that Doc?"
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.
"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge... He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.
Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
Apologies if someone posted this one before.
An elderly couple, Margaret and Bart, moved to Texas .
Bart always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret looked him over. "Nope."
Frustrated, Bart stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bart, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bart yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bart. Shoulda bought a hat."
An Italian man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet
behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My wife's."
"What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"
The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."
A very poignant and touching moment of Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Get in line."
I understand the new Pope would have been elected on the first ballot had it been clear initially that he was seeking divine guidance and not a divine guy dance.
noslensj wrote:I understand the new Pope would have been elected on the first ballot had it been clear initially that he was seeking divine guidance and not a divine guy dance.
Actually, they were using the old Florida style ballot for the first 4 ballots.
MarkDaSpark wrote:Actually, they were using the old Florida style ballot for the first 4 ballots.
Pope Chad I
An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 am and was asked
where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse, cavorting with wanton women, excessive smoking and staying out late and the effects on the human body."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was.She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious....
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, his son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just roommates."
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
your son.
Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Jimmy Carter was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Jimmy pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Jimmy yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Jimmy slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
Since April 15th is almost here ...
Someday, the income tax return will be simplified to:
1) What was your income last year?
2) What were your expenses?
3) How much do you have left?
4) Send it in.
John: Two things we're sure of, Death & Taxes.
Fred: Yeah, but one thing about death, it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
IRS agent to taxpayer: I'm afraid we can't allow you to deduct last year's tax as a bad investment.
The Three R's of the IRS: This is ours, that is ours, everything is ours.
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad
donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not, darling?'
'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'
Way to kill the thread, D-Dog!
Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results.
Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"
George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!... the light goes on and I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"
A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! The light goes off?"
Thelma replied, "Oh God! He's peeing in the fridge again!"
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
'What have you got there, dear?'
With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
'I think it's Adam's underwear!'
An old married couple is travelling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.
"But we didn't use them," the husband said.
"Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows," the husband said.
"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn't have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But ma'am, this is made out for only $50.00."
"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
This is too funny!!
Newsfeed history of WWII
MarkDaSpark wrote:This is too funny!!
Newsfeed history of WWII
I could, almost, see learning history this way.
L.M.A.O. - It's Not About The Nail
The difference between men and woman.
Forgot to post this here first, then the Pub. Too good not to share in the Pub!
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam. Nothing is moving.. Suddenly a man
knocks on his window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold up?'
'Terrorists have kidnapped our entire Government. They are asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, taking up a collection.'
The driver asks, 'On average, how much is everyone giving?'
'About a gallon.'
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.
Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."
The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two axx-holes." "What! He had two axx-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, There's Stanley with them two axx-holes."
Lost in Translation
Getting There:
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The hotel:
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant:
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room:
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all:
When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."
Newspaper Glossary
When a newspaper uses a term like "informed source," what does it really mean? Herewith a glossary of newspaper terms.
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of money between them; they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea."
He went next door to the butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money at all!"
Murphy replied, "Don't worry - just follow me."
He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky.
Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!"
Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don't worry; I have a plan, Cheers!"
They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I'll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."
The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free.
At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any more of this. I'm drunk and me knees are killing me!"
Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I can't even remember which pub I lost the sausage in."
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
This one is a real groaner ...
A patient consulted his medicine man about a pain in his stomach that had persisted for 3 months.
"For something a long as that," said the medicine man, "I have a more drastic remedy than the herbs I normally prescribe. Chew on this leather thong every day. It is 31 inches long: chew one inch every day, and at the next moon, come back."
The patient dutifully did as directed, and at the next moon, he returned to the medicine man.
"How do you feel?" the medicine man asked.
"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Oklahoma , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would laste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Oklahoma , we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your
grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."
"…Hasn't affected my brothers though."
ddeuddeg wrote:Bill Clinton, Jimmy Carter, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Jimmy Carter was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Jimmy pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Jimmy yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Jimmy slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
now THATS funny
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'


text:
Just come across the fact that St Mary Bourne burials 1756 – 1757, 1780 – 1863 are now online at FamilySearch. Good to see more burials being added to the collection, I have far too many people sitting on my family tree waiting to be buried !
I also found the website of St Mary Bourne church which has a good history of the parish.
Technorati Tags: St Mary Bourne,Hampshire,Genealogy,Family History


text:
Somebody out there likes cicadas.
The 20 Stupidest Google Searches
Published 3 Comments By Daniel Horowitz
Leave a comment
Somebody out there likes cicadas.
It's going to be ending of mine day, but before finish I am
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