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Zero Punctuation: Guitar Hero III
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I like Guitar Hero III and I guess I can be considered a freak for being able to beat Hard mode and go all the way to the last set of songs in Expert mode...but even I've to admit that the extreme difficulty for the last set of songs in Expert mode is just sadistic. Blood Rain is just bullshit on Expert mode and to this day, it's taunting me for not being able to pass it.
I loved the previous Guitar Hero series because even though the songs were hard, they were still quite passable and when you passed Expert mode, you really felt a sense of accomplishment. Now it just feels kinda mean to set the bar up so high that only a select few can actually pass the damn mode.
No, honestly, who the f is Tom Morello?
have done... all true... and Yahtzee is not Stephen Fry, we are perfectly allowed to question him... And of course Rage Against the Machine are just a band, but they're also the first choice for any rabble rouser who wants to stir discontent against an establishment for a probably legitimate reason (U.S. Government have learned fuck all since Vietnam... RATM just happen to be a good outlet for my rage when the world appears to be turning into a steaming pile of bullshit)
GH sucks. EoD
Lead guitarist from band; Rage Against the Machine
Also lead guitarist for Audioslave.
Nothing wrong with learning to play a real guitar... this of course has no bearing on playing Guitar Hero as one might say why not learn to shoot a real gun instead of playing Halo? There isn't really any connection. God forbid people play games for fun occasionally.
I can't believe anyone would think Rage Against the Machine are in any way "legends". Even a fan of them should realise they're not quite on par with the true 80s rock icons.
Anyway, great review (as always). Never played Guitar Hero, but I found your review distinctly homoerotic nonetheless. I mean, uh, humorous, distinctly humorous...
Exactly, I think I played it for maybe 8 hours total then just dropped it completely. Great game for a while, but not worth investing lots of time in.
I think one issue is that there's a difficulty wall (on GH1, anyway, didn't play the others) a few songs into Hard difficulty that requires you to get a bit obsessive about the game in order to get anywhere. So for an average player like me, once you've done Medium there's not much left.
I think anyone who had the original master of 'Killing in the Name' played at one in the afternoon on a mainstream Radio program without any editing to compensate for the torrent of the word fuck at the end of the song can be considered legendary. At least infamous, even if it was only a mistake on the part of the DJ. And, as I said, 'Guerilla radio' featured on the Soundtrack, and incidentally on the starting video, of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 and that was easily one of the most popular PS1 games. Please allow at least infamous.
Too True
So is it safe to assume that GH isn't any easier for actual guitar players? Because I was thinking about getting the game but if my previous guitar knowledge won't help me, then never mind.
I'm scared of spiders, but the Paris Hilton head scared me more. Brr.
nice one man, but no1 called u gay.
1/4th to 1/2 of the fun of ZP reviews are the little things that show up on the screen, its part of what makes them worth watching multiple times. :)
Oh no... the game's fine on Easy for a first-time player then the jumps aren't quite as drastic Yahtzee claims it's simply an exercise in hyperbole (sorry, exaggeration) to make the review more interesting... my first song on medium was Killing in the name and I made 4 stars bordering five.
I liked South Parks Review of this Abomination they call a "Video Game" in the Episode "Guitar Queer-o" a lot more.
My thoughts exactly Yahtzee. Thats why I stick with Rock Band.
Also was the scene with the guy with his back to the brick wall a allusion to Pink Floyd's The Wall? Send me a message if it was please.
Also one more thing.
Where the fuck is Clive? I was more pissed about him being left out then anything.
Yahtzee, you know denial is the first phase, right? ;)
I do take a little offense, though, at calling hardcore players "freaks" - even though I know you did that for comical relief. If you were to hang out with a selection of hardcore players, you'd find out they are pretty normal gamers, but that instead of playing lots of games once or twice, they use their allotted "game time" to specialise in a few games (or a genre) because they really like them and want to squeeze out all the enjoyment they can. Find new challenges within the game, break the A.I., stuff like that.
So no excuses - you're not up to snuff as far as GH3 is concerned. Don't blame the game for offering you a challenge in the later levels, why not "get into shape" and face it? :)
Great review Yahtzee, as always
I've been thinking about getting GH for awhile but I once tryed to play GH once at a friends house the experience still make me want to put a plastic bag over my head from embarrisment.
Guessing this one is harder, so I suppose I'll just have suck a guys testical instead.
Shoo, shoo emo boy!
Anyway, I didn't bother with Guitar Hero 2 - let alone 3 - because the tracklist made me feel truely quite ill. Someone convinced me to try it but the endless alt/indie/emo rubbish put me off.
So, the same applies with GH3. The tracklist is still somewhat diverse, but there's not enough classic rock. You know, the really good stuff, like Blue Oyster Cult, Ramones, Who, Kinks, Cream, Police etc. So, I'll stick with the original and the GH2 demo (love YYZ), thanks.
And, Yahtzee: another impeccable review sir, bravo!
As you can probably tell I'm a little bit testy about being called an emo... mostly because most emos I have ever come into contact with are such wasters that it insults my sense of self respect, which I carefully preserved through five years of having the shit bullied out of me at secondary school, to call me as such.
Why does GH always boil down to a pissing contest? If someone says it is 'hard' someone else comes along with more free time than sense to brag about how they 100%-ed the song blindfolded and with no hands.
The point being made wasn't the game is 'hard' but that the learning curve that serves you well all the way from easy (I'm a wii owner who never played GH and had to work his way up) suddenly stops being a curve and turns vertical like some insurmountable rock chasm where the game taunts you to climb its heights only to throw you to the ground and dash your brains out on the jagged rocks below.
Sure, we've all seen the YouTubes of various people whizzing through Dragonforce's song on expert, but the game stops being fun at that point and becomes a chore as you labouriously repeat the songs again and again as your fingers turn in a multitude of pretzel contortions (GH causes arthritis, I'm calling it here and now).
And just to throw this in there, Morello is FAR more of a legend of rock than the ego-train wreck that is Slash, not just playing guitar on our generations most famous rock anthems but also adding the hat of remixer and producer to his collection. I felt slighted for him that he was the 'easier' boss on the game.
Is this post supposed to impress us or make us pity you because u spent all that time playing Simon Say's alone in your room?
Of course you're not gay, Yahtzee, of course you aren't... :P
Great video, Yahtzee! You are, as always, Tha' Man!
As one who has played a "real" instrument (if you can call a saxaphone a "real" instrument - which I'd rather not) I'd rather learn to play a real guitar than learn how to play a plastic one with buttons on it. I know that sounds worse than I meant it - I'm not trying to be disparaging of those who have the game and are getting "good" at it - I'd just like to learn to play the damn guitar instead of spending time to perfect a "fake" one. That being said, I'd like to at least at least rent GH3, but almost certainly won't.
*walks away, shaking head*
Edit: fair enough Funduke, I had my fair share of it at school as well. :P
Still, I have issues with Morello: he cannot physically do anything more than play the same vamp over and over, maybe then play a different one over and over, do a short one-note solo whilst doing some overly enthusiastic posturing... then play the first vamp over and over again. That's all he did on the first Audioslave album, at least.
I'll take the Mars Volta, thanks. (Although the Levellers are quite nice - Yahtzee you charismatic stallion, your taste in music is diverse and interesting! Hell, you've even gotten me to listen to Frankie Valli. The closest I ever got to doo-wop was the first Zappa album!)
Another edit: Any video featuring Pete Townshend in some way shape or form is worth seeing. More points to you, Mr. Yahtzee.
Sorry to interrupt, but I gotta say this : Great review, I loved how personal this one got. I must admit, I'm a whimp when it comes to Guitar Hero and holding that guitar makes me feel like a total chode (the kind who bring guitars to class and play it during break), though it is addicting; if anything I hope my friends haven't deleted the band I made on GH2, DonPachi.
I was never that big on Guitar Hero, though admitedly my experience with the game consists of going to an EB Games, playing the game hooked up there, beating a song on medium and going away thinking "meh". But I think there would be a problem if there isn't a brick wall in a rhythm game. I mean, it should provide a challenge to everyone, even the most hardcore. And it's not like it'll be difficult to make more difficult note graphs; just add more. In any case, I just hope Konami brings out a console version of Keyboard Mania sometime in NA, even though it will never happen.
Agreed - this is one of the additional reasons why I'm strongly preferring Rock Band. There is still a distinct lack of Clapton/Cream, but I'm really hoping that gets fixed in future download packs.
The other reason is that the songs are just charted a lot better, they're more fun to play (though admittedly not as difficult, if that's your thing). GH3 was obviously catering to the most hardcore, youtube-posting fans of the series by cranking up the difficulty level, but it really sucked some of the magic out of it. I bet a comparison of some of the dual-released tracks would be interesting.
Eh, Guitar Hero was never really my thing, although it does seem considerably popular with people who play nothing else.
That hat of yours is rather suspicious though Yahtzee.
Nice Gamespot zing there.
LOL, Yahtzee came out of the closet in the latest ZP. Nobody in the northern hemisphere, but the sheep down there might be prejudiced against you.
Great review, keep them coming.
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text: RIVER FALLS, Wis. | The Chiefs needed Tyson Jackson to catch up on his missed week of training camp, and they weren't prepared to wait any longer. Jackson, a defensive end who was Kansas City's top draft pick, agreed to contract terms late Thursday night, hopped a plane to Minneapolis on Friday morning and joined his teammates for the Chiefs' afternoon practice session. It was a long 24 hours.

subset: commoncrawl


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Andy Murray's first win at Rod Laver Arena was a little low key.
The 21-year-old Scot, carrying the hopes of a British public
looking for its first male Grand Slam champion since 1936, was
leading Andrei Pavel 6-2, 3-1, 15-0 in the Australian Open when the
Romanian retired with a back injury.
The fourth-seeded Murray, who lost last year's U.S. Open final
to Roger Federer, didn't mind getting off the court as the midday
temperatures topped 99 degrees on Tuesday, day two of the first
major of the year.
"It's the first time I've ever won a match on here," he said.
"You don't want to win a match like that. Andrei's been having
trouble with his back for a year."
Murray was installed as the favorite or joint favorite for the
tournament by British bookmakers after beating Federer three times
since losing the U.S. Open final - his best run at a major to date.
"I'm aiming to go one better here and I need all the support I
can get," he said, noting the number of Scottish flags unfurled
around the stadium. "It's nice. Hopefully they'll keep coming
throughout the tournament."
Murray defended his Qatar Open title before coming to Melbourne
but said it was still difficult getting used to the Australian
The relentless sun had players seeking shelter in whatever shade
they could find between points.
Murray, who worked hard in an offseason conditioning program
that has added seven pounds of muscle to his lean frame, was sharp
from the start, exerting pressure with virtually every shot.
Pavel managed to keep pace for the first four games before his
feet betrayed him at the same time that his back was letting him
down. He was twice called for foot-faults as Murray broke him for a
3-2 lead while running off the last five games of the first set.
Pavel had a quick massage on his lower back during the
changeover, held serve, and lost 13 of the next 14 points.
Federer commenced his quest for a 14th major to equal Pete
Sampras' record with a 6-1, 7-6 (4), 7-5 first-round win over
35th-ranked Andreas Seppi of Italy that finished after midnight.
It was a difficult opener, considering Seppi is only just
outside the top 32 players who are seeded for the tournament.
Federer had mononucleosis this time last year and that dogged
him for months.
"I wasn't fit, I had hardly played any matches, had any
practice," he said. "This year I had much more preparation and I
feel I know where my game's at."
Second-seeded Serena Williams, the reigning U.S. Open champion
and winner each odd year at Melbourne Park since 2003, faces Yuan
Meng of China on Tuesday.
Sixth-seeded Venus Williams, who won her fifth Wimbledon title
and finished off 2008 by winning the season-ending tour
championship, goes against Angelique Kerber of Germany.
Fourth-seeded Elena Dementieva, unbeaten in 10 matches this year
and winner of the Beijing Olympic gold medal, plays Kristina
Rafael Nadal starts his second consecutive major as the top seed
in a night match against Christophe Rochus of Belgium, about the
same time No. 9 James Blake is due to play Canada's Frank Dancevic.
Blake and Andy Roddick are leading the American charge.
Mardy Fish also advanced, but six other Americans made
first-round exits: Robby Ginepri, John Isner, Robert Kendrick,
Bobby Reynolds, Sam Querrey and Taylor Dent.
Dent, returning from three back operations for his first major
since 2006, lost to fellow American Amer Delic in five sets.
Other men advancing were No. 8 Juan Martin del Potro and No. 10
David Nalbandian of Argentina, No. 11 David Ferrer, No. 15
Stanislas Wawrinka, 2005 champion Marat Safin, 2006 finalist Marcos
Baghdatis and 16-year-old Australian Bernard Tomic.
Third-seeded Dinara Safina and No. 7 Vera Zvonareva of Russia,
No. 11 Caroline Wozniacki of Denmark, No. 15 Alize Cornet of
France, No. 16 Marion Bartoli and No. 19 Daniela Hantuchova were
among the women advancing.


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Driving by scenic bayous is one of the perks of living in Terrebonne and Lafourche parishes, but with that comes a risk of your vehicle being submerged in water.
Driving by scenic bayous is one of the perks of living in Terrebonne and Lafourche parishes, but with that comes a risk of your vehicle being submerged in water.
Since May, three people have been killed when their vehicles ended up in local waterways.
Shawn Dardar, 29, of Golden Meadow, was killed on May 11 when his pickup truck veered off of La. 56, struck a fence pole and a concrete barrier and rolled into the bayou where it sank.
On July 16, Ashley Worrell, 31, and her 3-year-old daughter, Delaney Lirette, both of Theriot, were killed when the pickup truck Worrell was driving on La. 315 veered off the road and overturned into a canal.
"That's just the nature of where we live," said Brennan Matherne, Lafourche Parish Sheriff's Office spokesman. "There's a very likely possibility of a car potentially going into the water in the event of a crash, especially when traveling our major state highways, most of which border bodies of water."
Matherne said a crash into a body of water can be survived.
"The first thing is stay as calm as possible. That's the key in any crash, but in a water crash that's the biggest thing to remember. It's tough because you realize that you're in a potentially life-threatening situation. But you can survive it if you remain calm throughout the process," Matherne said.
The first minute after a vehicle has gone into a waterway but before it has begun to sink is the most crucial, State Police Troop C spokesman Evan Harrell said.
"Depending on the type and weight, a vehicle will remain afloat for about a minute. Get the window open as fast as you can. Don't try to open the door," Harrell said.
Once your car begins sinking the pressure of the water will make it nearly impossible to open the door or window. So it is important get the window open before the pressure builds or in case of an electric window the circuits short out, Harrell said.
If you are unable to open the window before the car sinks completely, you should try to break it with a safety tool kept in an easily accessible location inside your vehicle, Matherne said.
"These tools are relatively inexpensive and they have a metal point on one end to break the window, and some of them even have a blade on them to cut the seat belt if you can't get it off on your own. Find a place in your car to mount it. Don't leave it under your seat. Focus the tool on the bottom of the window, that's the easiest place to break it," he said.
If you've successfully broken the window you can travel through it to swim to the surface. If there are other passengers in the vehicle such as children, they should exit the vehicle first. Young children should be carried out of the submerged vehicle, Harrell said.
If you are still able to breathe but have not been able to escape by breaking a window there is still a chance for survival, Harrell said.
"Stay calm and find an air pocket in the vehicle. Once the water fills the car, the pressure will be equalized and you will be able to open the door. Take a deep breath as the water is about to fill the vehicle and go for the door. Your chances are slimmer by taking this action, but you can still get out," he said.
Staff Writer Jordan Gribble can be reached at 857-2208 or email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @JGrib_Courier.


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Posted on 12/7/2011
Reviewed by Courtney, grade 6
A year ago, a kid named Riley went missing. All of a sudden people are dissapearing. The Cullen's have to deal with it before the Voltori steps in. They have one theory and one theory only. Victoria is back. And she is creating an army. I enjoyed this book because it includes so many genres. For example, Drama, Action, Romance, everything a good book needs. I think that I would recommend this book because it is one of the best book I have ever read. (AND I READ, ALOT) :)


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The Lady Panther volleyball team took the No. 2 spot in the SLIAC, behind Webster, when coaches were asked who they thought would finish on top of the confrence this season.
Greenville recieved three first place votes in the poll and 57 total points, making them the close second to Webster who recorded five first place votes and 61 total points. This close race comes as no surprise, as both teams had a 14-2 SLIAC record and tied for the regular season championship in 2011.
GC looks to their three returning First Team All-Confrence players, Corinne Coon, Nicole Schaffer, and Tricia Gall, to lead the team through a successful season. Head coach Tom Ackerman is back in the reigns for the Panthers this season and is ready to see more success.
2012 SLIAC Volleyball Pre-Season Coaches' Poll
1- Webster (5)
2- Greenvile (3)
3- Spalding
4- Principia
5- Westminster
6- Eureka
7- Fontbonne
9- Blackburn


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Arsenal striker Park Chu-Young looks set to stay at the Emirates after his proposed move to Championship outfit Wigan Athletic is on the verge of a collapse, reports ESPN.
The South Korean international, who signed for the Gunners from Ligue 1 side Monaco in 2011, has struggled to cement his place in Arsene Wenger's side and has made just one league appearance for the north London outfit.
However, after it was expected that he would join the Latics on loan, it now appears that any potential deal is off as the club cannot afford the star's wages.
The striker spent last season on loan at Spanish outfit Celta Vigo, and is hoping for first-team football in order to secure his place in the World Cup next year.
However, he's unlikely to break into the Gunners' side with Olivier Giroud the main-man in attack for Wenger and Nicklas Bendtner also in-front of him in the pecking order.
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