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2010 Referee Week In Review - Week 15
The usssoccer.com Referee Week in Review is designed to address the issues facing referees at all levels by using video highlights from professional games as well as the U.S. National Teams. Written by U.S. Soccer Director of Referee Development Paul Tamberino and U.S. Soccer Manager of Assessment and Training Brian Hall, the Referee Week in Review will highlight specific areas of focus and current U.S. Soccer initiatives designed to improve performance and aid in the development of officials across the country.
Week In Review 2010
Week 15 – Ending July 11, 2010
Week 15 was a busy seven days with a number of games, including the FIFA World Cup Final and the normal docket of MLS and WPS matches. It also marked the kickoff of U.S. Soccer's Development Academy Finals at the Home Depot Center in Carson, Calif. U.S. Soccer has appointed eight referees and eight assistant referees (ARs) to manage the games over the week-long competition. The Finals' officials were selected from participants at three prior Academy Showcases held during the season, which started in December of 2009.
Week In Review Podcast: For each "Week In Review,†U.S. Soccer produces a related podcast that covers the topics of the week.
Violent Conduct: Striking an Opponent
The Laws of the Game lists seven sending off offenses. When red carding a player, a substitute or substituted player, the referee must list one of these seven offenses as the reason. One of the reasons the referee may red card a player is violent conduct. To be listed as violent conduct, the offense must meet the following criteria:
- Involves the use of excessive force or brutality against an opponent when not challenging for the ball.
- The use of excessive force or brutality against a teammate, spectator, match official or any other person.
- May occur on the field of play or outside its boundaries.
- The ball can be in play or not.
Remember, "using excessive force†means that a player has far exceeded the necessary use of force in a challenge and is in danger of injuring the opponent. All offenses involving excessive force must be dealt with by issuing a red card.
In "Week In Review 14,†the topic of striking was addressed. Striking (which can be initiated in many different forms: the hand, the fist, the elbow, throwing a ball or other object at an opponent or a head butt), is associated with violent conduct especially since it often occurs when there is no challenge for the ball (no attempt to win or play the ball).
Positioning is vital to ensure referees have a clear line of vision to challenges. The result should be improved decisions and the ability to identify the correct punishment for offenses. This clip involves a well-positioned referee who is able to use his strategic position to identify a case of violent conduct (striking an opponent).
Despite calling a foul, the referee does well not to follow the path of the ball and keep his focus on the two players involved in the original challenge. This focus and optimal position allows the referee to identify, first, a foul and, second, a retaliatory strike.
The referee correctly calls a tripping foul on the player in the red jersey. Immediately following the call, the player that has been fouled takes exception to the trip and, as he goes down, he uses his right arm to strike an opponent with excessive force. As a result of his action, the player is red carded for violent conduct.
In similar situations in which the referee may not be as properly positioned, the fourth official can provide vital information regarding the actions of the players involved. The most effective method for communicating this type of information should be established in the pregame meeting conducted with all officials.
Take note of the location of the foul and the violent conduct offense: the area in front of the team benches. This is a volatile area and a warning sign to officials that an offense may escalate. Officials should be prepared to intervene and exhibit urgency when they anticipate a challenge in the area near team benches.
In this clip, the referee's quick reaction and quick display of the red card ensures the situation does not escalate. Violent conduct often leads to mass confrontation and active intervention on the referee's part may avert escalation.
Denying An Obvious Goal Scoring Opportunity (DOGSO): Options
Over the last two years, DOGSO has been a frequent topic in the "Week In Review.†This season alone, it has been discussed in "Week In Review 1†and in "Week In Review 14â€. The decision to send a player off for denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity is never an easy one as there are many variables that need to be evaluated in a matter of seconds.
DOGSO events often present the referee with many options due to the multiple variables and the dynamic nature of the decision. The speed of the game and the players create a challenge for match officials when evaluating DOGSO. Referees not only have to decide whether DOGSO exists (and therefore must issue a red card) but they must also assess cases whether advantage should be applied or not.
When assessing advantage, referees must decide whether, by applying advantage, the attacking team would have an opportunity to score a goal through a clear and effective attack on goal. FIFA provides the following guidance to match officials regarding advantage application and DOGSO events:
"If the referee applies advantage during an obvious goal scoring opportunity and a goal is scored directly, despite the opponent's handling the ball or fouling an opponent, the player cannot be sent off but he may still be cautioned.â€
Simply, if the referee applies advantage when a DOGSO foul is committed and a goal is scored, the referee cannot red card the player committing the foul and send him off for denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity. However, the referee may still caution the player for the offense which led to the application of advantage.
U.S. Soccer advises referees to consider the "4 P Principle†when deciding to apply advantage. The "4 Ps†help officials interpret the clear and effective nature of a situation that may be an advantage candidate. The "4 P Principle†focuses on the following:
Possession of ball
Control of the ball by the attacking team/player.
Potential for attack
The ability to continue a credible, immediate and dangerous attack on the opponent's goal.
The skill of the attackers and the attacking team's numerical advantage in front of the ball.
Proximity to opponent's goal
Relates to the closeness to goal. The closer to the opponent's goal, the more effective the advantage.
This clip involves a dynamic decision on the part of the referee. The referee is faced with two options: Call a foul and red card the defender for DOGSO or apply advantage and then caution the defender at the next stoppage of play. Either decision has it merits and the decision as to which option is the best can only be decided by the referee at the moment of the decision. This involves a "feel†for the game, the situation, the players involved and a quick analysis of, at that moment, which option will benefit the fouled team the most.
Examine each option and then decide, for yourself, which of the two options you would chose at this moment of the game:
Apply advantage and then caution the player committing the foul at the next stoppage
As the holding offense is committed just outside the penalty area, the referee must assess the "4 P Principle†and determine whether the application of advantage is most beneficial to the attacking team. Of importance is the potential for attack. The referee must ask himself, "Does the attacking player/team have a credible, immediate and dangerous attack on the opposing goal?†If the referee believes that the shirt pull is enough to place the attacker (with the ball) in disadvantageous position in terms of a clear opportunity to score a goal, then the referee should not apply advantage. On the other hand, if the referee believes that the attacker has a clear path to goal and the holding offense has no impact on his ability to have an opportunity to score, then the referee should apply advantage. In this case, the referee is required to caution the defender (at the next stoppage) for unsporting behavior due to the tactical nature of the shirt pull.
Deny obvious goal scoring opportunity and red card
If the referee believes that the foul (shirt pull) prevents the attacker from progressing cleanly with the ball and therefore from having an effective goal scoring opportunity, then the referee should stop the play and send the defender off for "denying an obvious goal scoring opportunity.†Remember to utilize the "4 D Criteria†for DOGSO to aid in the decision.
Given the dynamic nature of the situation, the referee must "feel†the game and the situation and make a decision based upon the options available. The referee's position and understanding of the players involved (in particular, the skill level and technical ability of the attacking player) will play an important role in this evaluation.
Looking Forward – Week 16
With the U.S. Soccer Development Academy Finals in full force, it is vital that match officials evaluate options in all decisions that do not involve 100 percent misconduct. A feel for the big picture is important in managing the game and deciding the best option for each decision. Preventative officiating and the use of command presence/personality help to increase the options available.


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I'm going to assume you're familiar with the narrative of Numbers 22-24. Balak, son of Zippor, king of Moab (Joshua 24:9), tries to hire the services of a seer named Balaam. Balak believes that Balaam's words have power (22:6), and he wants Balaam to aim those words at his enemy: Israel.
The whole Balak/Balaam saga is a study in paganism vs. Yahwism. The pagan worldview is that the gods can be handled, "worked," manipulated to serve us and our will. The gods may not be much more than personified, magnified forces of nature; but if we work the right forms and rituals, we can make them serve us. We can make them do what we want them to do.
Balak approaches Balaam from this perspective, this worldview. It doesn't matter to Balak whether Balaam calls his deity Yahweh, Baal, or Brittany. He wants Balaam to work his mojo and get this Yahweh-thingie working for him.
Balak is absolutely nonplused at Balaam's insistence that he can't do that with Yahweh (22:13, 18). Balak is stunned. It does not compute, it blows Balak's circuits. It is inconceivable.
So, Balak figures there must just be a communication problem, or something. Or maybe Balaam's trying to haggle up the price? Balak offers more money. He sends more and flashier dignitaries. Finally, Balaam comes — but still he can't work the name of Yahweh into a curse (22:35, 38; 23:8, etc.).
But Balak doesn't give up. Maybe it isn't Balaam who's driving such a hard bargain. Maybe it's Yahweh. So... if not now, then maybe in a few minutes? If not from here, maybe from there? Or there? Or — come on, work with me! — surely from up there?
Not only is the answer an unrelenting "No," but Balaam blesses Israel, over and over.
Balaam himself is a troubling figure, though a sterling illustration of Biblical inerrancy (see Ronald B. Allen's crackling-good essay on the theology of the Balaam oracles). Balaam looms as a quintessential false prophet for his love of money (2 Peter 2:15; Jude 11; Revelation 2:14).
And yet even Balaam knew that Yahweh could not be manipulated, as could the false gods of paganism. Even he knew that Yahweh was Lord, and His word was law (cf. Numbers 22:13, 34, 38). Only thing Balaam finally could figure out to do was to get Israel to bring a judgment on themselves (cf. Numbers 31:16; Revelation 2:14).
So, Balak assumed that Yahweh — like all the gods — was both mutable and malleable. In truth, Yahweh was (and is) neither (Numbers 23:19; Malachi 3:6). Hence Israel's cry,
"Who is like you, O LORD,Who is like Yahweh among the gods? No one!
among the gods?
Who is like you,
majestic in holiness,
awesome in glorious deeds,
doing wonders?" (Exodus 15:11).
We shake our heads at Balak's folly... but did it really die with him? Can we not see it in Christendom, or even in "evangelicalism"?
Of course you think "Word-faith movement," and of course you're right. But is it only those nutty, absurd heretics?
Do we see it, sometimes, when people try to get the pastor to "say a prayer" for them, as if he had more "pull" with God, and could get God to see it their way? Don't even the doctrinally more orthodox fall into trying to faith God into doing something, or much-word Him, or good-works Him, or better-than-the-other-guy Him?
Or can we even see whispers in ourselves, as we (unconsciously) try this or that to get God to support our agenda?
Obviously I believe in prayer, as the Bible explains and enjoins it. I've talked about prayer's divinely-designed limitations, and I've also discussed how significant it has been and can be, in the sovereign plans of God. But Christian prayer must always have the essential element that breathes Christ's spirit: "Not my will, but Yours." Even as we plead, argue Scripture, press the promises, lay out our case, we must know: if we actually could manipulate God, it would be the most disastrous event in the universe.
I've often said to God, in closing, after pressing my case to the best of my ability, "...but then, You get to be God — and that's a good thing!"
And I really mean it.
Leave paganism to the pagans.

subset: commoncrawl


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Super funky old school track that is perfect for video project, advertisement or your movie project! Funky and uplifitng track with a lot of positive energy. Perfect background for presentations, commercials and why not comedy shows or tv programs.
You can always check out FAR's exclusive Audiojungle profile:
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If you want to buy a new car, 2017 Honda Fit can be a good idea. This is one of Read More
Bajaj Ct 100 New Model 2017
2017 Honda Accord Engine, Specs, Exterior, Interior, Price
One of the most popular cars from Honda is Accord. The good news is that today there is a new Read More
2017 Honda Civic Hatchback Prices, Engine, Speed, Fuel Economy
Honda Civic is one of the most popular cars from Honda. The good news is that today 2017 Honda Civic Read More
2017 Honda Civic Sedan Features, Styles, Concepts
The launch of 2017 Honda civic sedan at automarket comes with ultra refined features and also aggressive lines which help Read More
2017 Honda S2000 Exterior, Specs and Release Date
Based on some gossips, Honda will release their new car in order to make a new competition of auto market. Read More
2017 Honda Ridgeline Black Edition Exterior, Specs and Release Date
It is interesting to wait the new product of Honda. We all know that Honda is one of most prominent Read More
2017 Honda Accord Coupe Designs, Interiors, and Engines
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If you have a plan to buy new car, it will be a good idea to consider 2017 Honda Civic Read More
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Some gossips says that Honda now still prepares their new motorcycle to be released in the market. We all know Read More
2017 Honda Pilot Engine, Performance, Fuel Economy, Prices, Warranties
One of the most popular SUVs from Honda is Pilot. Every year, it is updated with the new version and Read More


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Cheri Bustos: Hockey mom set to grapple with Congress
As a former real-life hockey mom, I remember watching Stanley Cup playoff games with
my boys. What struck me was that after those high intensity, physical games of hockey, the players would line up at the end of the series and shake hands at center ice.
I've thought of that often as I've met newly elected members of Congress from both parties from all over the country during these early meetings before we are all officially sworn in next month.
If in the brutal game of hockey the players can do that, well why then, in what can be a brutal political arena, can't we all just get along, shake hands and play nice in the end?
During my campaign travels, THE most common plea from people was for me to help end the gridlock that is paralyzing our country and contributing to the hyper-partisanship that has taken over Congress. Yes, jobs and the economy still are our top issues. But people see the bigger picture that our nation can't address these, or any other key issues, without first finding ways to compromise and disagree respectfully.
I pledged during the campaign to take action. And today, I have reason for cautious optimism:
"Reaching out to new members: I said I would talk to all newly-elected members of the House of Representatives, learning more about their families, careers and other non-political aspects of their lives. There are 84 new members of Congress, including 49 Democrats and 35 Republicans. I have spoken or met with 70 of them and plan to talk with the other 14 prior to taking my oath of office on Jan. 3. I'm finding among many of them a similar desire to end the gridlock, reach out to members from the opposite party and make our disagreements based on principle, not politics. There is a shared sense among this freshman class that the issues we face are too important to be held hostage by hyper-partisanship.
"Bipartisan retreat: I talked during the campaign about hosting a bipartisan retreat similar to what former Congressman Ray LaHood sponsored when he was in Congress. I've had preliminary discussions with Mr. LaHood and his former assistant, Brad McMillan, who is the Director of the Institute for Principled Leadership at Bradley University in Peoria, about hosting a retreat sometime in the near future. We will get this done.
I'm under no illusions that these efforts will remove all partisanship from our decision-making process. I'll still speak out for the principles that helped get me elected-strengthening the economic security of the middle class and rebuilding our economy. But I pledge to be respectful in my disagreements with colleagues and continue to build bridges to make compromise possible on issues that can't wait any longer.
If hockey players can show respect for the opposition after tough competitions, we should expect no less from our members of Congress. This Congressional hockey mom pledges to live up to that expectation.


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And what about pgettext and npgettext? They are there in the gettext documentation, but there aren't in PHP. They're very useful if you have the same messages for translation, but in different contexts, so they should be translated separately and probably differently.
Fortunately, there is a simple work-around, which may help:
From the gettext.h header one can find out that pgettext() is only a macro calling dcgettext() internally with properly mangled parameters - msgctxt and msgid are glued together with use of ASCII char 4 [EOT, End Of Text]. The same way they're written in .mo files, so it's possible to refer them this way.
Here's my "emulated" pgettext() function:
if (!function_exists('pgettext')) {
function pgettext($context, $msgid)
$contextString = "{$context}\004{$msgid}";
$translation = dcgettext('messages', contextString,LC_MESSAGES);
if ($translation == $contextString) return $msgid;
else return $translation;
By default, xgettext doesn't support pgettext function for PHP source files. But there is a parameter which can work-around it. Here's how I call xgettext:
xgettext --force-po --keyword="pgettext:1c,2" -c -o messages.po sourceFile.php
In sourceFile.php I use the following test code:
pgettext('menu', 'Open'); //Substitute "Otwórz"
pgettext('forum', 'Open'); //Substitute "Otwarty", different context
Generated .po file fragment:
msgctxt "menu"
msgid "Open"
msgstr "Otwórz"
msgctxt "forum"
msgctxt "Open"
msgstr "Otwarty"
I've tested it out and everything works fine :-) If anyone have some further suggestions or fixes, please write ;-)


text:
This calendar can:
This calendar can not:
International formatPrint
Format : United States, Canada and MexicoPrint
As an independent artist, I offer many free calendars and printable documents on my site. I therefore thank you for complying with the conditions of use and respect my work.
Michel Zbinden accepts no responsibility whatsoever for the accuracy, content, completeness, legitimacy, reliability or availability of the information or data posted by MichelZbinden.com. Michel Zbinden accepts no responsibility for any damages that may result from downloading or using the information or data available on the internet via the services of MichelZbinden.com.
Copyright © 2017-2019 · All rights reserved · Michel Zbinden


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Before making your next purchase, contact one of
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We can make your buying experience quick and simple. We'll help you get the "Toys" for less!


text:
"Zero and Net-zero Energy Buildings + Homes," a 64-page White Paper that proclaims "the next frontier in the green building movement," will be the topic of a 1-hr Q&A with 6 "NZEB" experts at the AIA Conference + Expo, Friday, May 13, 11 a.m. to 12 noon, at the Morial Convention Center (Level 2, Room R06), New Orleans.
The 40,000-word report from Building Design+Construction provides a road map for the $350 billion design, construction, and real estate industry to develop "net-zero" buildings and homes that generate as much energy as they use, such as the new Research Support Facility at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory, in Golden, Colo.
Robert Cassidy, BD+C's editorial director, will moderate the discussion with the panel:
- Paul Torcellini, PE, PhD – U.S. Dept of Energy and National Renewable Energy Lab
- Tom Hootman, AIA, LEED AP – RNL Design (Research Support Facility design team)
- Philip Macey, AIA, LEED AP – Haselden Construction (Research Support Facility construction manager)
- Marc L'Italien, FAIA, LEED AP – EHDD Architecture (Exploratorium, Packard Foundation, and several other net-zero energy projects)
- Mary Ann Lazarus, FAIA, LEED AP – HOK (net-zero carbon prototype)
- David Eijadi, FAIA, LEED AP BD+C – The Weidt Group (environmental building consultant for Science House/Science Museum of Minn., net-zero carbon prototype)
Potential topics of discussion (questions from media representatives are welcome!):
- What did the experts learn from their NZEB experiences? What advice do they have for future NZEB designers, contractors, and building owners/developers?
- How do you measure and monitor the actual performance of NZEBs?
- What's the "business case" for NZEBs? Do they make financial sense for owners?
- Is there a gulf between what the energy model predicts and actual outcome?
- What are the impediments – technical and otherwise – to producing NZEBs?
- What about net-zero energy (and net-zero carbon) for existing buildings?
The White Paper, along with seven previous reports devoted to green building, is available for free download at www.BDCnetwork.com/whitepapers.
The report was sponsored by Johnson Controls, Lafarge, North American Insulation Manufacturers Association, Sto Corp., and the U.S. General Services Administration.
Contact: Robert Cassidy, BD+C Editorial Director, email@example.com, 847-391-1040 office; 773-220-3555 mobile – Booth 142 at AIA


text:
Children Out of School: Measuring Exclusion from Primary Education
Author/Publisher: UNESCO
Language: English
Download: PDF
This report aims to improve our understanding of how many children are out of school and who they are. It presents a new methodology for counting the number of children who are out of school and explores the link between participation and the characteristics of children and the households in which they live. Data from across a large number of less developed countries reflect disadvantage in terms of participation in primary schooling by gender, location of residence and household wealth.
The report also shows that efforts to widen access to primary education must recognise the different types of out-of-school children, e.g., those who never enter a school, those who start late and those who leave school early. Different contexts call for different types of policies. And the profile of out-of-school children can vary widely across countries. Thus, understanding the proximate determinants of out-of-school status are important to planning policies aimed at reducing the number of children excluded from education.


text:
If you're on the internet, you probably know about Buzzfeed. If you don't, I'm surprised as all hell that you even found my site and am genuinely wondering how you get through your day without seeing infants covered in french bulldogs, or counting down the 20 absolute best, OF ALL TIME Game of Thrones memes.
Buzzfeed is a pop culture aggregator, meaning that it grabs (or has submitted to it) various bits of pop culture related nonsense from around the web. It's like the Huffington post, except instead of news, it's wedding DJ fails, and as far as I can tell, Buzzfeed doesn't want to take away my firearms.
Lately, Buzzfeed seems to be trying to branch out, adding numerous topics and subcategories, attempting to be everything to everyone without really being a news site. I stumbled on their DIY section the other day and saw an article: 20 Simple Tricks To Make Spring Cleaning So Much Easier . I read though it and cried bullshit on so many entries I decided to write an article, breaking down every one of these tips and grading them from 1-10. So, here we go, aggregating an aggregator who probably aggregated the tips from another aggregator.
I find it hard to believe that this is the fist time I've used this image.
1. Use a dustpan to fill up a bucket for mopping.
I suppose this works, so you'll get at least some points. When I was locked up, I remember we used to get a bunch of those empty Cup o' Noodles cups, bust the bottoms out of them and force them together, connect them to the sink and do something kind of like this so we could bill up large containers with water. But, you know what the difference was? We were in fucking prison. Out in the free world there are hoses, sink sprayer, utility sinks, bathtubs and even showers. People who do this build Rube Goldbergs to wash their own feet. 3/10.
2. Clean Your Toilet With Coke.
Thursday was burrito night, Today is Friday.
Do you know how much bleach is per gallon? It's like a buck. Do you know how much Coke is per gallon? Way fucking more. Do you know what the number 1 bathroom cleaners mostly use as an ingredient? Bleach. (Or ammonia, mix them together for hilarious results!*) So, not only does this cost more, it looks gross as well. I know Coke is great for getting alkali deposits off of battery terminals, but let's stop there, shall we? Fuck, I can't even look at that anymore. 1/10
*Do NOT do this.
3. Use A Lemon To Get Rid Of Water Stains
"What do you mean what the fuck am I doing? Zesting the shower handle guard…DUH!"
Ok, I'm sure this works. The citric acids will break down the base deposits and, magic time! No more spots! It will also leave a residue and possibly some membrane behind. Wal-mart sells these wipes like, 20 to a can that will do the same thing in one swoop. But maybe you're on that environmental shit, and you don't want to use those. You'll still wind up using a paper towel to go behind and buff off all that residue, and because you're one of those hemp bracelet wearing motherfuckers, I'll bet the paper towels you have are those silly-ass brown ones. Damn.
And take that stupid fucking necklace off.
4. Dryer Sheets Will Remove Buildup From Glass
Maybe they will. But you know what else will? Those cleaner you're supposed to have under the sink. Why did you walk all the way to the laundry room? 4/10
5.Keep your Cleaning Supplies Neat With A Tension Rod
Ooooh, is dat some Goo Gone in the corner? I love that shit.
This is actually a great idea, so it will get some points. But, I gotta ask, if you've got all this stuff, WHY HAVE WE BEEN MUCKING ABOUT WITH COKE, DRYER SHEETS AND LEMONS? 8/10
6. Meet Your New BFF, The Magic Eraser
My favorite gay janitor OF ALL TIME,
These things are the truth. they are absolutely great. But is this really advice? Seems more like product placement. -1 for that. Also, -1 for using 'BFF'. 8/10
7. Get Fur Off Of Carpet Or Furniture With A Window Squeegee
"Honey, this is the absolute last time I shave your mother's back."
In 1860, Daniel Hess invented the first vacuum cleaner. It was as big as a train. Leaps and bounds have been made in the design of these machine since then. Currently, there are even models that fit inside of a closet, and are specifically designed to handle human and animal hair. These devices also prevent your wife from crying after coming home and finding you doing this, saying that she 'should have listened to her mother.' 0/10
8. Use Coarse Salt To Clean Cast Iron
This works great, but what's not mentioned in the article is that you need to apply a thin layer of oil afterward, or your cast iron pan will turn into a rusty piece of metal. 5/10
9.Towel + Broom + A Way To Clean Hard To Reach Places
Um, yeah, I guess? But, you could always grow up and, oh, I dunno…
10. Clean Screens With Coffee Filters
Also, get a new goddamn TV. The last Aiwa product I owned was a walkman.
I'm almost convinced at this point that this article was originally titled: Using Shit That Was Never Meant To Clean Shit, To Clean Said Shit And Thereby Laughing In The Face Of God. So, sure, fuck it, if this works, go ahead and do it. If you need me, I'll be outside using my wife's panties to wax my car. 9/10, cause, just, why not at this point?
11. Get all The Grossness Out Of Your Keyboard With A Toothbrush And Cotton Swabs
Oh, oh hell no. Okay, look–do you know how long it's been since Microsoft Made and sold that white keyboard? It's been a long fucking time. Apple makes white keyboards now, but they're coated, not porous. But, I don't blame you for not having a Mac. You're not an asshole, that's good in my book. But seriously, you can buy a nice, new black keyboard for $11 at Best Buy. Do that. Now. 1/10
12. Don't Miss The Tiny Spots, Like On Window And Sliding Door Frames
Hey, when you're cleaning, don't forget to clean. Also, when having heterosexual intercourse, the penis goes in the vagina. I am now a certified DIY columnist. 3/10
13. Make Everything In your Fridge Organized And Easily Accessible
Fuck you, I won't do what ya tell me.
I agree with the actual entry, but this is the pic that accompanied it. You ever see the inside of a fridge door? There are places for all that stuff. And it's not taking up valuable real estate that could be used for, I dunno, food? 2/10
14. Store Condiments In Egg Carton To Prevent Spills
Not a bad idea, as long as you switch them out if they get funky. I am now envious of Alton Brown's fabulous variety of mustard. 9/10
15. Fold Shirts Vertically To Maximize Space And Visibility
That looks great! I'm sure it will look just as great when you remove four or five shirts from one of those tight rows! Oh, no, wait, it will go to shit. 3/10
16. Properly Fold A Fitted Sheet
Black. Fucking. Magic. 10/10
17. De-pill Your Clothes With A Razor And Some Tape
I have no Idea if this works or not, but it looks sound. 7/10
18. Vacuum Seal Bulky Clothes And Blankets For Storage
This is another win. It also works with hookers if you have a deep freeze. 10/10
19. Use The Hangar Trick To Get Rid Of Clothes You Don't Wear Anymore
Caption: Hang all your clothes so your hangers face backward. When you wear something, turn the hanger around. After a year, if something is still on a backward hanger, give it away.
This could very well work. I don't know, I have a wife who looks after things like this because she has to be seen in public with me. If something of mine gets old, or she doesn't like it, it disappears, and I get some new clothes. I'd like to add something, though, if you have a t-shirt that says, 'Wassssuuuppp!', or '2 legit 2 quit', or if that shit has a dragon on it? Throw that shit out. 7/10
20. And The Best Possible Advice, Drink While You Clean!
I shit you not, this was number 20. Here's the caption: You know how sometimes you come home after a few drinks and have a strange, overwhelming urge to clean everything? Channel that feeling. The best part is when you wake up the next day and are genuinely surprised and delighted at how clean everything is.
Okay, who has that fucking feeling? I want to meet that person. They can come over any time. I'll buy their beer. Also, if you routinely drink so much that you can't remember what happened the night before, your chances favor finding a dead animal in your living room far more than finding it clean. 0/10
So, that's it. And what's the score? 98/200. So, most of this list is bullshit. And you can't argue. This was all very scientific.


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Day 31 : 60-day Experiment
Isn't it funny that I'm aiming for $10 in adsense on the second month when I haven't even placed a single ad unit on my site? Well, I only realized that after re-reading the goals. So I placed the ads and despite the dismal traffic, I managed to get two clicks!
And that's not all. I'm happy to announce that the site is already inching its way to the first page. The last check on Google Webmaster Tools showed that it's already in position #13. That's a few notches away. But guess what, when I checked the results from google, I'm actually at #11 already. One notch higher and the main goal of our experiment is already done.
I think it will be a matter of days before the site finally land on the first page. Not bad for a lazy person like me. But to be honest, the promising results fired me up. Let's see where it goes.


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If you follow Forex in any way, you know that Forex robots have become wildly popular. With the overabundance of Forex robot sales pitches, it is hard to find a robot that is actually successful. In this article, we will show you how to find the best Forex robot for your trading style, as well as what you need to know about your EA and what your realistic goals should be.
If you are looking to purchase a Forex robot, you are most likely looking to make a profit. This means different things to different people. You may be content making $50/week, or you may be seeking much bigger money. The greater your risk tolerance, the greater the chance you will strike it big. At the same time, taking on more risk also means the chance to take bigger losses.
Your risk tolerance is going to be a key factor in dictating which robot is best for you and your trading goals. After determining this, you should look for robots that suit your trading style and analyse various statistical factors including maximum drawdown, profit factor, expectancy and efficiency. A majority of this information can be found in the Best Forex Robot report at www.bestforexrobot.com.
One thing you should realize upfront is that finding the robot that is best for you is going to cost you both time and money. There are numerous elements to look for when choosing your robot. Much of the key statistical information needed to make a sound decision can be found in the best Forex robot toolkit.
It is crucial to understand that most Forex robots only work efficiently in certain types of markets. What does this mean? Some robots perform better in range bound markets while others are more effective in trending markets. The problem lies in that it is often very hard for a trader to determine if the market is in a range or trending. One key thing you must remember is in order to achieve success with your Forex robot you should never give up the gains that it makes during a favourable market when the market is unfavourable.
So what does this mean? Assuming that your robot is most efficient in a trending market, as soon as the market starts to range you will run into complications and might begin losing money. In order to be successful with this robot you cannot lose money during the ranging market that you made during the trending market.
Furthermore, you must determine if your robot is sustainable which entails backward and forward testing it through a range of market conditions. If your robot's profitability is sustained, then it can be considered robust. Keeping this in mind, you must always remember that past results are never an indication of future performance.
You need to assure that a robot has been both back and forward tested by the vendor before even considering making a purchase. Once you have decided to go forward with the purchase you need to perform your own testing. A good Forex broker can show you how to do this. At this point, if you are unhappy with the robot's performance, you should return it if possible. On the other hand, if you are happy with the robot's performance, you should run it on a live micro account at first so you are only risking minimal capital in the beginning.
Our hope is that after reading this article, you should now have the proper tools and confidence to embark on your robot trading journey. Let's take a quick moment to do a final review of what you need to be a successful robot trader:
1.) Determine if your robot is robust and in line with your expectations of return.
2.) Perform extensive testing of your robot before taking it live.
3.) Start trading live on a micro account to minimize losses.
Following the guidelines above will help you get one step closer to Forex success.
Reference: ActionForex


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jv16 PowerTools 220.127.116.11 Final
Posted by philipp on: 02/16/2003 03:16 PM [ Print | 0 comment(s) ]
jv16 PowerTools 188.8.131.52 Final is now available
jv16 PowerTools is basically the Tool to control your computer. Until now your computer might had been the one who is in charge, but with jv16 PowerTools you can take the control. The program contains all the tools needed for monitoring, cleaning and controlling the registry, the file system and your Local Area Network.
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Since the release of patch 4.3 I've received several questions about the Moonkin 4 piece set bonus, and had been working on this post for a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, it is now a little late given new information from the recent PTR build, but I would like to go ahead and get it out there to answer any questions that might be lingering.
Fun With SimulationCraft: The Moonkin 4T13 Set Bonus
When the set bonuses were reveled on the PTR months ago, the criticism of the 4T13 set bonus was pretty quick and pretty loud. I don't remember seeing a single theorycrafter or analysis that suggested it was a strong set bonus, and I like a lot of people thought it should and would be buffed. However, it quickly became clear that Blizzard wasn't going to buff it (at least before the patch), and the question became: should we use it?
Since the 4T13 set bonus is being change on the PTR to also buff Starsurge's damage by 10%, the answer to that question is a bit obvious now. Of course we will want the set bonus when the 4.3.2 patch is released. But lets take a look at the numbers anyway. Who knows when the new patch is going to be released some of you might find this info helpful in the mean time.
My Methodology:
- All of the results generated below were generated out of SimulationCraft using the simc-430-4 build.
- Most of the results were created using the Moonkin Heroic T13 build that comes with the program, but a few of the results were created using a Normal mode Moonkin T13 build that I created. I did this to answer a specific question that will be come obvious later.
- SimulationCraft obviously isn't updated yet for changes that occurred last night. So, I estimated the benefit of the new 4T13 set bonus by increasing Starsurge's DPS on the old 4T13 results by 10%. I think this is a reasonable estimate, but it may be a little generous since that assumes the buff is multiplicative and it may not be. Either way, I don't think it changes my conclusions and I don't have a way of getting more accurate results at the moment.
- Rotation Change 1: The default SC Moonkin Rotation has you detonate Wild Mushrooms at the start of the fight when not in Solar Eclipse. I added a condition to only detonate it when Solar Eclipse is up. It was a tiny improvement.
- Rotation Change 2: The default SC Moonkin Rotation has you only cast Starsurge while you are in Eclipse. I changed it to cast Starsurge on Cooldown. I can see delaying a Starsurge cast a little right before Lunar Eclipse, but it doesn't make sense to me at other times and my results agree with my logic. Let me know if I'm missing something.
- All results are from a Patchwerk style simulation. I did run the simulations on helter skelter, but it didn't change the results significantly.
The Set Bonus Valuations:
From what I can tell most moonkin are using Glyph of Wrath for most fights in Dragon Soul because Glyph of Starsurge doesn't make sense with a few exceptions. That said, I ran the results using both glyphs for a comparison.
Glyph of Wrath:
|No Set Bonus
|Only 2T13
|Live 4T13
|% Change
|Avg DPS
As you can see from these results the Live version of 4T13 buffs Moonkin DPS by about 0.8344%. This is easily one of the weakest Moonkin set bonuses in the history of the game. However, that doesn't mean it's useless either. While a 0.8344% buff isn't particularly strong, it's not something to be ignored either. I've seen plenty of players expend a lot of effort for a smaller bonus.
Glyph of Starsurge:
|No Set Bonus
|Only 2T13
|Old 4T13
|New 4T13
|% Change
|Avg DPS
These results might give us a little clue as to why Blizzard was hesitant to buff the 4T13 set bonus before the patch went live. I wouldn't be surprised if Blizzard was expecting some level of Synergy between the 4T13 set bonus, Glyph of Starsurge, and Lunar Eclipse. These results show us that that expectation isn't completely baseless since the 4T13 set bonus is significantly more valuable when using Glyph of Starsurge instead of Glyph of Wrath.
That said, the results also show that Glyph of Starsurge isn't always the best choice even if it does synergize well with the 4T13 set bonus. These results are from a single target patchwerk simulation and Glyph of Wrath out performed Glyph of Starsurge in every simulation. Glyph of Starsurge would be better in multi target situations, but only two of the Dragon Soul raids fit that description in my opinion. In three of the fights it may be useful, but somewhat iffy, and in the other three fights Glyph of Starsurge would clearly be bad.
The Alternatives:
Before coming to any conclusion on the usefulness of the 4T13 set bonus we have to look at the alternatives. It's not enough for the set bonus to be bad or sub par. We have to have a better alternative to replace to declare the 4T13 useless. Luckily answering this question proved to be easier then I expected it to be.
Heroic Gear Level:
At the T13 heroic gear level the answer is easy. There literally are not any ilevel equivalent alternatives. The only head, shoulder, chest, hands, and leg option we have at the 410 ilevel are the tier pieces. To be fair, you could use the resto tier instead of the moonkin tier but that only seems to make sense in the chest slot. The other option is to use lower ilevel items, but doesn't make sense either when you look at Normal Mode gear.
Normal Gear Level:
At the normal gear level there are some non-tier options for four out of the five slots, but none of them are a clearly better choice. In most cases you would be trading one secondary stat for a lesser secondary stat like trading Haste for Mastery. The other issue is that the non-tier items have a lot spirit on them that could be difficult to get rid of and balance around. In short, if you ignored the set bonus in this way, you would be losing the set bonus without any significant stat gain. Obviously this is a DPS loss.
Using 2T12:
The final option would be to use two items from T12 so in hopes that the 2T12 set bonus is better for your DPS then the 4T13 and better stats from a higher ilevel. Anyone who has played this game for a while knows this isn't unheard of. In ToC during WotLK all moonkin continued to use the T8 items because the 4T8 set bonus was extremely over powered. A more recent example is that before patch 4.2 was released may moonkin were going to continue to use their T11 gear to keep the 4T11 set bonus, until Blizzard announced a nerf to the set bonus.
The question though, is 2T12 that good? The answer is, that it's not.
Using a 397 ilevel gear set I ran two simulations, swapping out the chest and legs of the Normal level Deep Earth moonkin gear for the chest and legs of the heroic level Obsidian Arborweave. The simulation with a full 4T13 set bonus had an average DPS of 37,697. The simulation with 2T12/2T13 set bonuses had an average DPS of 37,661.
While it is clear that the 2T12 set bonus is better then the 4T13 set bonus, it is not so much better that we can ignore the ilevel difference and continue to use the 2T12 set bonus without a DPS loss. Since the two numbers are so close it's not a big loss, but given that there is a clear advantage to upgrading to the heroic level tier gear it doesn't make sense to stick with the T12 level items.
The live version of the 4T13 set bonus is one of the weakest I've seen in my years of playing a moonkin. However, due to a lack of alternatives, there is no reason we should ignore it, especially considering the buff it has received on the latest PTR build.


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Although the first half of 2013 promises to be tricky for the stock market, a few sectors show relative strength, JPMorgan Chief U.S. Equity Strategist Thomas Lee said Monday.
"We think overall it's going to be a pretty good year for markets because, you know, we're in the fifth year of a bull market," he said on "Fast Money."
Lee pointed to spending on durable goods at a 50-year low and a relative value story vs. high yields.
"I do think that the first half is going to be very tricky, so I think it's really going to be a very good second-half story for equity markets," he added.
Lee, who has a S&P 500 year-end target of 1,450 for 2012 and 1,580 for 2013, picked cyclical stocks to hold the most upside potential.
He also cited several factors for the selection, including strengthening of China's economy, the possibility of stabilization in Europe and a strong U.S. housing market.
"If you just look at how the market's acted since Dec. 18 – we're actually down a few percentage points on the S&P – the best performing groups have actually been basic materials, industrials, technology. So, for a market that seems to be concerned about the 'cliff,' these are names that are showing a lot of relative strength."
Lee's stock picks included "blue-chip, branded stories" with good management, such as Bank of America, CapitalOne and McDonald's.
Trader disclosure: On Dec. 31, 2012, the following stocks and commodities mentioned or intended to be mentioned on CNBC's "Fast Money" were owned by the "Fast Money" traders: Brian Kelly is long XLF; Brian Kelly is long QQQ; Brian Kelly is long HONG KONG DOLLAR; Steve Weiss is long BAC; Steve Weiss is long TBF; Steve Weiss is long M; Steve Weiss is long JPM; Steve Weiss is long C; Josh Brown is long AAPL; Josh Brown is long JPM; Josh Brown is long GDX; Josh Brown is long GLD; Josh Brown is long XLU; Josh Brown is long TLT; Josh Brown is long XLF; Josh Brown is long TGT.


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GQ enters the world of hot, peppy, and insanely underpaid NFL cheerleaders
Meet the NFL Cheerleader. Every Sunday afternoon, she graces football-field sidelines, stadium JumboTrons, and your living room television with her inaudible cheers, her hard body, and her unshakable positivity. At seventy-five bucks a week—that's what she gets paid for all her work—why does she bother? What's in it for her? That's easy…
Right now Adrienne might be sick. It isn't funny. It isn't her stomach so much as her nerves, her heart, her history. Rhoneé, one of her closest cheerleader friends, has her eyes bugged out, standing outside the stall door, _"Adrienne? Adrienne, are you okay?"
"I'm good," Adrienne is saying. "No, I'm good. I'm good."
She vomits. This is not good. Something is seriously wrong with Adrienne. At pregame practice in the gym an hour ago, she ran off crying—twice. Ran to the bathroom and slammed her fist into the stall door to get ahold of herself, to reclaim herself, to remember who she is: a Ben-Gal. Both times she returned to the gym with a smile, got in formation, front row, left center. "C-I-N!" she roared, "C-I-N! N-A-T-I! LET'S GO!"
She seemed fine. She seemed Adrienne again, five feet nine, a thoroughbred of a woman, broad shoulders, booming voice, the biceps and forearms of a sailor. She is not the drama queen of the squad, not even close, not one of the girlie-girls, with the super-yummy cleavages and the wee, wee waists and the sugary smiles. She is the iron-willed, no-nonsense, no-curls straight shooter of the squad—six-pack abs, forlorn eyes, too busy with her own too busy life to deal with a lot of crap.
"Is Adrienne okay?" shouts Shannon from the other end of the locker room. Shannon is perhaps best known for her extreme volume of sandy blond hair.
"What happened?" asks Shannon's very best friend and protégée, the demure Sarah.
"Is something wrong?" asks another, as news of Adrienne's nausea filters through the din of cheerleader chatter.
Cheerleaders are all over the place, half-naked, shrieking, sitting, squatting, kneeling in front of mirrors in the panic of an NFL Thursday night. National television! The game starts in just over an hour. This is crunch time, hair-spray time, false-eyelash time, Revlon-Orange-Flip-lipstick time. "WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME? I CANNOT FIND MY MULTIPLICITY ESCALATE VOLUME WHIP!" Some cheerleaders are in curlers the size of Budweiser cans. The locker room, reserved just for them, is hardly equipped for the machinery of glamour, and so most have brought their own full-length mirrors, power strips, extension cords, suitcases of makeup, curling irons, hose._ "Try my Bouncy Spray Curl Activator. You can totally glop it on."_ The cheerleaders are all scream and shout, jazzed with beauty adrenaline, in thongs and hose and push-up bras, stretching, bopping, bouncing, assisting one another with hair extensions, pasting over tattoos, spraying tans, announcing newly discovered cleavage-engineering solutions—"Duct tape, girls!"—hooting and hollering in a primpfest worthy of Miss Universe.
"We look so awesome."
"Oh, my God, we do!"
Perhaps fittingly, there is a big storm coming, right now a cold front dumping rain and snow on Chicago, moving swiftly east, headed exactly for Cincinnati, promising to turn a balmy sixty-eight-degree evening into instant winter in a way that no one anywhere near Paul Brown Stadium is prepared to believe. Maybe the storm will be late? Maybe it will get…delayed? Charlotte, the mother superior of the Ben-Gals, the one responsible for all the rules—all the line formations, all the dances, all the praise, all the punishments, all the outfits—has to make a difficult decision: teeny-weeny skirts with white go-go boots and halter tops, or catsuits that hardly provide any better winter cover. The gals vote: catsuits. "Please! Please! Please!" They love the catsuits. There is nothing sexier than the catsuits.
"Is Adrienne okay?"
"Did you hear she is throwing up?"
"Oh, my God!"
Now, the men. The men are just super. Oh, the men think this whole thing is about them. That is so cute. That is enough to make any Ben-Gal roll her head to one side and get teary with admiration. _That is so sweet! _
Hello, men. Meet the cheerleaders. There are a lot of them. At first they are hard to tell apart in the same way kittens playing with a ball of yarn in a basket are hard to tell apart. Every single one of them you want to pick up and stroke and pinch and poke and take home. How can you choose? And what if you did take one home? Think it through. Where would you put the cheerleader? What would you feed it? Would you have time to play with it? Play with it in the way it longs to be played with? Yeah, that is one luscious volume of girl flesh. ****
The cheerleader is a fantasy. Let it go.
It. The cheerleader is an it. Are you aware that you have been thinking of this person as an it? Does that make you a pig? Nah. Or no more so than the next person, but that's not even the point. This is about the cheerleader. She is not trying to get your attention so much as she knows she has it. God, you're easy. You are not the real reason she has been up since five working on her hair, spraying on her tan, squishing her breasts together and forcing them upward into a double-mushroom formation with the assistance of all manner of wired undergarments. Of course, you play a role in it. Of course. When you catch a glimpse. For barely a second on the TV. There on the sideline. Right after some blitz resulting in a crushing sack. She's there for you. Sharing your moment of glee. Bouncing up and down for you with her pom-poms, beckoning you to, yeah, pump-fake your way into her itty-bitty shorts.
Right. She knows you think this way, but there is more to the story: You are sorta beside the point. Oh, your weakness is precious.
This is good old-fashioned sex appeal. This is straight-up Marilyn Monroe pinup-girl shtick. Sexy-happy, happy-sexy. It's family-values sex appeal. Other than that, it has nothing to do with you.
People assume a lot. People assume cheering in the NFL is mostly about a girl trying to snag herself a big, beefy, stinkin' rich football player. That is not the case. The Ben-Gals are not even permitted to socialize with players, except at officially sanctioned appearances. This rule is strictly enforced. Zero tolerance. As for football itself, the game, the players, the stats, the formations—that stuff rarely rises to the level of actual conversation. For most of them, this whole thing has nothing to do with football.
Money? No, no, no. This is really, really, really not about money, either. People assume NFL cheerleaders are within some vague sniffing distance of the good life, but a Ben-Gal is paid seventy-five bucks per game. That is correct: seventy-five bucks for each of ten home games. The grand cash total per season does not keep most of them flush in hair spray, let alone gas money to and from practice. "We have a rule book that's like this thick," Charlotte will explain to any woman interested in becoming a Ben-Gal, holding her hands four inches apart. "If you can demonstrate commitment and dedication and following-the-rules, you're good to go." It is not as easy as it sounds. Practices are Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 p.m.—sharp—at which time a Ben-Gal must be in full uniform, full hair, full makeup, a state of readiness that can take two hours to achieve. She must then step on the scale. If she is more than three pounds over the target poundage assigned to her by Charlotte, she will have to attend the after-practice "fat camp," doing crunches and running laps for a half hour after everyone else is gone, and she may not be able to cheer in that week's game. There are many other reasons a cheerleader can get benched: If she misses a single mandatory practice, she will not cheer at that week's game. If she misses four practices, she's off the squad. She is permitted just two tardies per season. Within fifteen minutes, it's a tardy, but sixteen is a miss. Two tardies equal a miss. No excuse is greater than another. Death won't get you a free pass, unless it's your own.
Given all the rules and the lack of distinct perks, it is difficult to understand why so many beautiful young women would eagerly and longingly choose any of this.
Charlotte sees it as a gift. Charlotte sees herself as a fairy godmother with a magic wand under which only a few select gals earn the privilege of the wave. "My most precious thing I can do is take a person and give them the tools that the program offers and watch them grasp it and watch them mature," she says. "Now, not everyone does that. But you take a girl like Adrienne. I mean, she was…whew! She was kind of…alternate for a while. You know what I mean? And now to watch her mature and develop into the program—she's a real special girl. She's had a hard life. She's the only single mom we have on the squad. Oh, I don't know why I'm talking about Adrienne. I mean she's not Pro Bowl yet. But still."
Contrary to popular mythology, not all NFL cheerleaders are bimbos or strippers or bored pretty girls looking to get rich. The Ben-Gals offer proof. Neither a bimbo nor a stripper nor a bored pretty girl would survive the rigorous life of a Ben-Gal. The Ben-Gals all have jobs or school or both. Kat and Sarah are sales reps. Sunshine is a database administrator. Shannon works at a law firm. Tara is a cancer researcher working toward her Ph.D. Adrienne works construction, pouring cement.
They have full and complicated lives. They don't need all this nonsense. They completely crave it.
Meet the Cheerleader: Rhoneé
This is my second year as a Ben-Gal. The first year, I commuted three hours from Liberty, Kentucky. That's how bad I wanted to cheer. I had never even heard of a switch leap before—where you do a leap and do splits and then switch legs? The first time I tried that, I felt like Peter Pan.
I have a bachelor's in chemistry and a bachelor's in biology. I just finished my master's in public health with an emphasis in environmental-health science. For two years, I worked on a project dealing with air quality within chemical-fume hoods. We came up with something called the smoke-particle-challenge method. I did monoclonal-antibody research for BD Transduction Laboratories. I worked for the U.S. government at the Center for Health Promotion and Preventative Medicine. We did soil sampling, water sampling, at military bases throughout Europe. That was the very best job I ever had.
When I first took my new job at PPD's global central labs, I didn't tell anybody I was a Ben-Gal.
I met my boyfriend when I was 14. He was 16 and I was 14. We took our time. We got engaged in 1998. He asked me to marry him in Paris, at the Eiffel Tower. I was like, "I'm melting!" That's been a long time ago. He's going to have to, you know, renew that. His job takes him to Chicago a lot, so I don't see him a whole lot.
I don't feel 32. I keep telling everybody you're only as old as you feel, and I don't feel 32 at all.
For me the Ben-Gals is about fulfilling a dream. Not many people out there can say they're an NFL cheerleader. I have never been so proud to wear such an ugly color of lipstick.
In Kentucky, cheerleading is big. But when a small-town girl tries out for NFL cheerleading and makes it, that's huge. I made the front page of our local newspaper. Last year I was Miss November in the Ben-Gals calendar. Everyone kept telling me they wanted a calendar. I didn't tell a lot of people I had them. Word of mouth, people asked. I ended up bringing over 350 calendars back to my hometown. This year I'm not a month, but I'm still in the calendar. You feel like a superstar. I had trouble doing the sexy look. They teach you how to do that, to look like you're mad at somebody. This year I don't look mad. Just like I'm halfway smiling. I'm wearing a Rudi Johnson youth size small jersey that they cut up and made into a bathing suit. A youth size small.
The Reindog Parade is this Saturday. There will be 500 dogs dressed like reindeer. I have to be there at one. Judging begins no later than one thirty. The parade starts at two. I'll be walking in the parade with a reindog.
Adrienne comes flying out of the stall. She is not done throwing up but refuses to continue. She will not give in to a day of senseless, stupid puking. She is: Cheerleader of the Week! Okay, that news came days ago. So it's not news news, but tonight is the night, and so you could say reality is settling in. This is almost certainly at the center of the nausea Adrienne must conquer.
There are so many things that may or may not happen tonight. The storm may or may not come. The Bengals could score very many touchdowns. The Ravens could be called for holding or do an onsides-whatever kick. All kinds of…football things could or could not happen on this electrifying NFL Thursday night. But one thing is certain: Adrienne is going to be Cheerleader of the Week. She'll get her face on the JumboTron during the second quarter. Just her, dancing live, beside a sign listing her name and her hometown and her hobbies—in front of 60,000 people in Paul Brown Stadium—for perhaps five or six or seven seconds.
Okay, listen. Adrienne poured the cement in Paul Brown Stadium. Way before she became a Ben-Gal. When she was just a regular person working under a hard hat in the freezing-cold wind blowing off the Ohio River. She poured the forms.
She does not feel worthy to be Cheerleader of the Week, and yet, at the same time, she does. (When in this life does she get a turn?) She is looking into the mirror, trying to get color into her cheeks. She is trying to get ahold of herself. She is a Ben-Gal! A good Ben-Gal. An obedient Ben-Gal. She stays in her target-weight zone, 144–147, higher than most because of her muscle, her height. She does not smoke. She does not chew gum. She has no visible tattoos or naughty piercings. She curls her hair when Charlotte or Mary tells her to curl it, sprays it when they say it needs to stand taller or wider, slaps on more makeup when they demand bigger glamour. She works as hard as any other Ben-Gal at becoming what the coaches call "the total-package."
But Cheerleader of the Week? It is overwhelming.
"Come here," Rhoneé tells her. "Look in this mirror. Isn't this a great mirror? It makes you look so skinny. It's an awesome esteem booster!"
"All right," says Adrienne.
"Oh, you look awesome," Shannon tells Adrienne.
"You always look awesome," Sarah tells her. "I wish I had your abs."
"I wish I had your boobs," Adrienne tells her.
"I wish I had your hair," Rhoneé tells Shannon.
"Everyone_ wishes they had Shannon's hair," Sarah says.
"I wish I had your brains!" Shannon tells Rhoneé.
"Oh, you girls are so awesome," Adrienne says.
Cheerleader of the Week. It is not something most people in the world ever get even close to being. For that matter, most people don't get close to being a regular Ben-Gal—just thirty per year, out of a field of a couple of hundred who try out. Chief among the characteristics required to make the squad—beyond raw dance talent, a degree of physical beauty, a soldierlike level of self-discipline—is a specific consciousness. It is so obvious to those who have it and yet so fleeting, if at all attainable, to others. Ask a person who does not have it why she wants to be a Ben-Gal and she will say things like, "Because I love to cheer" or "I have cheered my whole life" or "For the camaraderie" or blah blah blah.
Now try this same question on a person who has within her the consciousness, the essence of what it is to become a Ben-Gal.
"So why do you want to be a Ben-Gal?"
She will look at you. She will look at you blankly, keeping her smile in place while her eyes tell the story: What, are you from Transylvania or something?
"Because it's a Ben-Gal," she will say, wondering politely and in her own generous way if you have perhaps suffered some brain injury at some point in your tragic life and if there is anything she can do to help make your world just a tiny bit brighter. Everyone, she thinks, wants to be a Ben-Gal. Pity the president of the United States, the queen of England, the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, for not having the attributes necessary to become a Ben-Gal. It is difficult to accept that not everyone in this world has what it takes to become a Ben-Gal, and for those people, all she can do is pray.
That's what it takes to become a Ben-Gal. If a woman has any lesser sense of the glory, she will not make it.
Charlotte and her assistants, Mary and Traci, and the captain, Deanna, maintain and constantly feed the glorification. Each Tuesday at practice, they decide who will cheer that week and who will not. Six people per corner, four corners, twenty-four cheerleaders. Six get cut. It depends on weight, glamour-readiness, dance-preparedness, all the factors of the total-package. Each Tuesday, as nonchalantly as possible, Charlotte reveals her choices for those who will cheer and those who will not, for those who have earned a coveted spot in the front of the formation and those who must go to the rear. "Sarah, you are in the back," Deanna will say, or "Shannon, I want you up front." Nonchalantly. Because it's stressful enough. It's devastating enough to be left out or put in the back, even though most girls sort of know, can sense, can see the signs in Charlotte's eyes or see the way Mary is whispering to Charlotte and nodding and pointing and wondering, Who told Sunshine she could dye her hair that dark?!?!
The choosing goes on all season. Everything is about the choosing. Whose picture will make the Ben-Gals calendar? Who will be Miss January? Who will make the front cover and who will make the back? These choices are revealed Academy Award–style at a special ceremony in September, with slide shows, at a restaurant, with families invited, and lots of hugs and lots of tears, celebration, consolation, grieving.
There is more choosing. There is the biggest honor of all: the Pro Bowl. One cheerleader per season per NFL squad is chosen to attend the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. All season long, the cheerleaders speculate about who will be chosen. Charlotte will tell no one until it is time—she is the decider. No one understands the total-package better than she, herself a Ben-Gal from 1978 to 1989, a Pro Bowler, and a coach for thirteen years.
The choosing is the bait that keeps any Ben worth her Gal reaching toward her total-package goal. And each week there comes this choice: Cheerleader of the Week.
Who among the living would not vomit?
Now, the men. The men are super-adorable. The game has not yet started, and some of the cheerleaders are glamour-ready, so they have left the locker room to sign calendars by the stadium gift shops. "Who-dey!" some of the men chant, soldiers coming to battle, stomping up stadium steps toward nachos, hot dogs, beer. "Who-dey!" The idiosyncratic growl is a Bengal original and all the more popular now that the team is actually semicompetitive. Marvin Lewis came in 2003, turned the team around, gave football back to a woefully depressed Cincinnati. From a cheerleader point of view, it's been super.
_Who-dey! _
The men are dressed in orange and black, some with striped faces, crazy wigs, naked bellies pouring over Bengals pajamas, furry tails hanging from their asses. Soon this platoon rounds a corner, comes upon a table behind which four cheerleaders sit. Daphne, Sunshine, Kat, Tiffany. Glimmery and shimmery kitty-cat babes signing calendars, $10 a pop. The men say OH, MY GOD with their eyes, stop dead in their tracks.
"Who-dey!" the cheerleaders say, all sex and sweetness and growl.
The men suck in air, seem to have trouble releasing it. These gals are, well, whoa. These gals are—fuckin' A.
The cheerleaders give a thumbs-up. "Awesome outfits, guys!"
The men look at each other, at face paint, tails, fur. Oh, sweet Jesus…we look like fucking idiots.
"Who-dey!" the cheerleaders say.
The men dart away like roosters.
Outside in the parking lot, the men are more serious. Businessmen, banker types, tailgating, bonding. Somebody knew somebody and arranged for two cheerleaders, yeah, two real cheerleaders to come to the tailgate party for 200 bucks. Heh heh. Where they at? Are they coming? Where they at?
Holly (blond ringlets) and Stephanie (brunet innocence) arrive.
"Hi!" They have doe eyes and dewy smiles. They wear little string backpacks in which they carry pom-poms. They slip off their backpacks. They slip off their white satin Ben-Gals jackets. "Ooh, it's chilly!" Holly says, revealing her naked arms and abundant bosom. "Ooh, that storm is coming!"
"I've been looking at you girls on the Internet," one of the businessmen says.
"Dude," says his colleague. "Dude."
"I'm Holly," says Holly. "Nice to meet you. Thanks for having us."
"You want some beef-barley soup?" one says to her. "Some kielbasy?"
"We have Chips Ahoy," says another.
"I'm good," says Holly.
"We're good," says Stephanie.
The conversation is not flowing. Just what is the purpose of this meeting?
The men give up trying to talk to the cheerleaders, turn to one another, laugh, grunt. Holly and Stephanie stand there smiling. Stephanie is shy, is a first-year, is taking lessons from Holly, who is also a first-year but who has so much more experience feeling gorgeous. "Would you guys like to learn a cheer?" Holly asks them.
"Uh, yeah."
"Come on, do it with us."
"Uh, no."
"Well, will you say it if we do it?"
"All right."
Of course, it starts to rain. The men dart under a tarp. Holly and Stephanie stay out in the rain, just a sprinkle, a trickle, a tickle, droplets for the cheeks.
"Let's go Bengals—ooh, aah!" the cheerleaders chant. "Let's go Bengals—ooh, aah!" They spin, throw their heads, offer ass. The men learn the words quickly. "Let's go Bengals—ooh, aah!" The men hold up their beer cans, toast one another. Heh heh.
The cheerleaders finish and wave, taking their jackets and pom-poms with them.
"Well, that was worth it," says one of the men.
Meet the Cheerleaders: Sarah and Shannon
Sarah: I work for Pepsi. I'm pretty much on call twenty-four–seven, so it's stressful. If somebody runs out of Mountain Dew and they're having a sale on it, they're calling me to get out there. I'm like, I know, I know.
Shannon: This apartment is two bedrooms, two baths. We met pretty much through Bath & Body Works in Lexington. We both went to the University of Kentucky. _
Sarah: I called Shannon "Miss Hair." I was like, "Do you know Miss Hair?" That was my first meeting of Shannon. We've been best friends ever since then. We're so laid-back. Nothing gets us really fired up too much.
Shannon: I thought it would be awesome to be a Ben-Gal. You just put it way up here. You never really think you can get there.
Sarah: We dared each other to try out. To be an NFL cheerleader, I think every girl dreams.
Shannon: We use a great bra by Victoria's Secret. Body by Victoria Push-up Bra. We all had to get a bra that has a fixture that's real low. It's spandex and it's definitely tight, so it squishes and pulls. And then we have bronzing stuff to make it look more… You do it, like, right here in the V. It makes it look like there's a shadow, so it makes your chest look bigger.
Sarah: Being a female, you gain water weight. You can go in there and think you're so thin, and it'll weigh you five pounds over. It gets frustrating. I eat lots of asparagus.
Shannon: There's, like, seven or eight things on our grocery list. For breakfast it's egg whites and oats—dried oats.
Sarah: People think we're so weird. You have to be very disciplined. And you have to get in that mind-set, because it is hard to follow. Very, very hard to follow. Like, a guy will ask you out on a date on a Wednesday night, and you can't say, "I can't eat, because I have to weigh in tomorrow." But you can't go and not eat, either. So it is hard.
Shannon: I've been in situations with people who think, like, Oh, you're not having fun. Or, Why won't you go out? Because I don't want to eat.
Sarah: I usually say to a guy, "Let's wait until Friday night, because I have four days to get my weight back down after that."
Shannon: You saw us in practice in the short booty shorts and, like, a sports bra or bikini top? That's so they can see your fitness level. The stomach, the legs, the butt.
Sarah: They stand right in front of you with a clipboard. I don't like it, but it's a good idea. It has to be done.
Shannon: It's about glamour, fitness, and always being ready: full hair, full makeup, giving 110 percent.
Sarah: Of course, guys look at it as some type of sex symbol. But I don't think it's a thing that guys want their girlfriend to look like, you know what I mean? It's like a costume. It's not something I think a guy would like to look at every day.
Shannon: Egg yolk is actually what carries most of the fat. I'll usually put one yolk and about six egg whites just to have some fat and not just the protein._
Sarah: This month has been good. I mean, we gained a few pounds, but that helps you start again. Shannon: I'm not usually this color. I tanned yesterday.
Sarah: If Shannon has her hair up in a pony-tail, I swear, ninety-nine out of a hundred people would bet it's fake. It looks so perfect, and it's so big and thick. I bet ninety-nine out of a hundred would think it's fake. It's that good.
Shannon: You want some water?
There's more. For Adrienne, so much more. You have to understand at least one more important beat of the backstory: This is not the first time Adrienne has been named Cheerleader of the Week. The first time, she blew it. She may be the only Ben-Gal in history to screw up so royally. It happened three weeks earlier. Charlotte had told Adrienne, "This is it! You're going to be Cheerleader of the Week!" The night before the game, Adrienne was so excited she could barely sleep. Well, she did sleep. And sleep, and sleep, and sleep.
She awakened to the sound of her phone ringing. It was Missy, calling from the parking lot, where all the other cheerleaders had already gathered. "Where are you?" Adrienne hoped this was a bad dream. But, no, it was true. She had overslept. She threw on her clothes and rushed into the stadium, arriving not exactly Ben-Gal ready and more than sixteen minutes late.
The Cheerleader of the Week was…tardy? She was immediately dethroned. She would not be allowed to cheer, let alone be Cheerleader of the Week, and she would be penalized two games. Hey, late is late. Rules are rules. All the gals, including Charlotte, embraced her, grieved with her, over the tragedy that seemed for her so typical, so many almosts, so much dumb luck, so much stupid, rotten, dumb luck.
"It's my own fault," Adrienne told her teammates on that dismal day. "It's nobody's fault but my own."
For all her mother-superior-style discipline, Charlotte is a kind soul. Now here it is, just three weeks after Adrienne's disaster, and Charlotte is giving her a second chance at being Cheerleader of the Week. Here you go, Adrienne. Your sins are forgiven.
So maybe it's the generosity that is making Adrienne sick. The outpouring of love. The second chance that in so many ways feels like the last. The thought of going out there, in front of all those screaming fans, appearing on the JumboTron in the stadium whose concrete you yourself once poured.
After serious consultation with Mary and Tracy, Charlotte has an announcement. "Catsuits!" she bellows out into the locker room that by now is held in tight under a hanging cloud of aerosol. "Okay, girls, _catsuits!"
"Catsuits!" the women shriek. There is nothing sexier than the catsuits.
Adrienne throws her head in the sink, runs the water at full blast, plunges. "Catsuits!" several tell her. "Catsuits!" They throw their arms around her, leap tiny leaps. "Catsuits!"
"Adrienne, honey, are you okay?"
Meet the cheerleader: Adrienne
My mom was killed. She was murdered by my stepdad. I had just turned 1 year old. I break down sometimes. You can't think: Why me? Things happen for a reason. You just can't think about the unknown.
This right here is a mud mat. It's just so we have a flat area to set our forms on. We poured all this today. We started back in the corner. Last pour, we did over 300 yards.
The finishers finish the concrete and make it look pretty. And the laborers, which would be us, rake it and pull it close to grade. The rod busters are the ones that put all the rebar in. They are just totally rebar. Oh God, I would never want to be a rod buster.
Cement is not the same as concrete. Cement's an ingredient in concrete. Cement is the glue in concrete.
Working with all men, you realize that they really act like girls. They whine and cry. I'm not trying to be stereotypical, but they act different. I don't think of myself as a female at work. I think of myself as an employee. As a guy. Well, I don't want to be a guy. But I let them know: You're not allowed to call me names or treat me like dog crap.
With the Ben-Gals, with thirty girls in one group, you'd think it'd be a bunch of backstabbers, cliques, but it's not like that. They say I'm this role model because I have a little girl I'm raising on my own and I work construction. They say I'm an inspiration. They say that they're amazed I do all this._
I went to college, a full ride in track. I chose criminal justice. Afterward, I took a test in Lexington to become a cop. I got all the way to what they call the "rule of five," when they compare you to four other applicants. I had four speeding tickets, because I commute a lot. That ruined my chances. That kinda bummed me out. I was like, Screw this.
Then I took the county exam and failed by two points. I did bad because the whole time I'm thinking how I'm gonna kill my boyfriend because he made me late. He had my car, didn't get it back to me in time. The whole time I was thinking about him.
I had a change of heart. I decided I didn't want to be a cop. I didn't want someone to have to tell my kids someday that I'd been shot.
In the beginning, when I started working construction, the guys were horrible. The first day, my boss said I was a lawsuit waiting to happen. He made me bust up a twelve-by-twelve slab of concrete alone, with a sledgehammer. Then I had to carry four-by-fours, one after another. But I stuck it out. I've been doing this eight years. My body goes through a lot.
After my mom was killed, my aunt Pam wanted me. She really wanted me. After two years, she hitched a ride to Florida in the back of a truck to get me. People were upset with my grandma for letting me go. Pam was 16 at the time. I call her my mom now. She ended up being a single mom with six kids. I think that's why I am the way I am today, becaus
I told Pam I wanted to go on Ricki Lake and find my dad. I said I want to know who made me. She didn't want me to do that, but she talked to my aunts. I met him at a benefit. It was weird. I cried. Like, Wow. We went out to dinner the next night, to F&N Steak House, in Dayton. I ate chicken, and he was so mad. "I bring you to a steak house, and you order chicken?" I didn't want him to think I was money-hungry. He told me how beautiful my mom was, how much he loved her. He said he remembered the last time they made love was 1975, World Series Game 7. He followed newspaper stu__ff__ about me through high school but didn't know for sure that I was his.
I don't regret anything that's ever happened. I did get the shit end of the deal with Mom dying, but that was out of my control.
I never get hit on. A lot of my friends say I'm intimidating. Women who are successful or independent, guys are too scared to talk to. Which I hate. Because I'm a person.
__My one fear is failing at being a mother. I don't want her to go through the things I went through. I'm afraid she'll be a priss. Her dad spoils her, which I hate because it makes me look bad.
Being a Ben-Gal in general is just awesome.
Being Cheerleader of the Week is awesome.
Taking photos for the calendar was awesome. It's a day that's all about you. Last year I ended up being Miss October. This year I was Miss December. It's heartbreaking when you don't make a month. People say, "Why didn't you get a month?" We don't know. But when you are a month, you feel great. Awesome. Sexy. Amazing. You feel like you're somebody.
_Underneath this, I have jeans and long johns. And then I have two long-sleeves on, a sweatshirt, a sweater, and one of the poly sweatshirts that, like, covers you, and my Carhartts. You get cold. Your hands and feet and face and your nose. I'll thaw out later on tonight, like, a couple hours after I'm home I'll start thawing out.
__I've always wanted to be a nurse. Ever since I graduated from high school. So I'm just gonna go back and give it a shot. I'm a people person. That's my calling. I get home, and normally I pick up my daughter, and we usually do homework. I have to study. I'm taking chemistry. In a couple years, I should be a nurse. I should graduate in three years. August 3, 2010.
_You're not supposed to put a lot of stickers on your hard hat, because sometimes OSHA will think that you're covering up a hole. If these get a hole, you can't use them, because something might land on your head and kill you. But I have this sticker that says HOTTIE. And DEWALT tools. The twin towers—one of the guys from the company, he was killed, so I have a sticker from him. And I have one that says BITCH GODDESS.
I spit, too, like boys. Oh yeah. Just 'cause, I don't know. Your mouth gets dry or whatever. The guys are like, "Quit spittin'. That's not ladylike." And I'm like, I'm not a lady at work. Charlotte doesn't know I spit. Charlotte would kill me.
"Who-dey! Who-dey! Who-dey think gonna beat dem Bengals?"
It is time. The gals have pranced like a pride of lions out of the locker room and are standing in the tunnel, peering out. There are enormous Bengals walking around back here, but the gals notice only one another. They are cold. Sarah is holding on to Shannon for warmth; she always seems to disappear next to Shannon, mostly due to Shannon's hair, currently a celebration, a testament to extremes, curls streaming like Niagara Falls down her back, crashing into the bend of her bottom. "I'm so freezing!" Sarah is saying.
"Get a grip, girl!" Shannon says. "It's showtime!"
The catsuits are sleek, sleeveless, with necklines plunging deep and tight, allowing for blasts of perfectly spherical honeydew breasts. Each gal wears a thin glitter belt around her hips and a pair of white satin wrist cuffs crisscrossed with orange laces. Hair is high, broad, glued in place. Makeup is paint, pasted on thick. Tans are air-sprayed, darker in the V to accentuate the total-package. Perfect. Exactly perfect.
Of course, it might not really rain and ruin all their hard work. It might not. The storm is probably still over Indiana or something. It could hold off. The balmy sixty-eight degrees has gone kerplunk to fifty-two. Outside, in the stands, ponchos are starting to come out.
"I don't know about the '80s look, with all this hair," Lauren says. "Do you think we look like poodles?"
"I can't brush my hair after," Tiffany says. "I have to wash it."
"I have to soak it," Brooke says.
"You guys!" team captain Deanna interrupts. "Think how lucky we are to be here, and savor every moment!"
"Sexy, ladies!" Rhoneé shouts. "SEXY!"
With that, they fire out of the tunnel like bullets out of the barrel of a gun. One arm up, pom-pom shaking, "Let's Get It Started" blaring, "Who-dey!" "Who-dey!" Fireworks shooting into the night sky. Any one of them could burst into tears of excitement. Some of them will. Adrienne will absolutely not. Adrienne is all game face, determination from a twisted gut. She's on the five-yard line, next to Maja and Tiffany, all the cheerleaders lined up forming a chute, a welcome path for the football players, who come chugging out like beefy boxcars. "Who-dey! Who-dey!" The gals stand like ponies, one knee up, one arm down. Pom-poms shimmering.
They take to their corners, and the kicker kicks off, and the stadium erupts into "Welcome to the Jungle," Axl Rose crooning his timeless anthem, gals dancing stripper moves with hips, ass, roll head, whip hair. Then they just as quickly retreat into sweet pom-pom action. Sloopy. Feelgood. Hicktown. Worm. Tweety. All the dances have code names.
"We're on Pump, right?"
"We're on Worm!"
"Oh, my God!"
Four sets of cheerleaders, one set in each stadium corner, Charlotte and Mary and Tracy with walkie-talkies, demanding coordination, demanding precision: "Lines, ladies, LINES!"
Six minutes into a scoreless first quarter, most of the hair is…flat. That was quick. That is a shame. But that's okay. At halftime they'll charge back to the locker room and drop to their knees in front of mirrors waiting like lonesome cousins. Hot rollers. Curling irons. Makeup. Spray tan. Primp! There is not much time to re-create perfection, but they'll do their best.
Six-yard line. The football players are trying to pound the ball in. Come on, football players! The cheerleaders hold their arms up, smile, keep their arms high, and jiggle their pom-poms, shimmer shimmer shimmer. They have turned themselves into candles burning flames of hope.
A field goal. Okay, we'll take it. Who-dey! "Jungle Boogie." Celebrate with the cheerleaders; watch them bounce like balls.
It isn't until three minutes twenty-six seconds into the third quarter that Carson Palmer completes a forty-yard flea-flicker touchdown pass to T. J. Houshmandzadeh, but that is not even the point. The sky has done it, finally opened up—sheets of rain. The gals valiantly bump and grind to "Bang on the Drums," the touchdown song, in the glimmery downpour. Forget hair spray, forget makeup. It is all washing off now, washing down, soaking them. Wet cheerleaders! The JumboTron appears itself to experience the orgasm. Exploding wet cheerleaders! The cameras are all over the cheerleaders. The gals are screaming, laughing, howling, forgetting everything. Forgetting the fucking construction site, the man who murdered your mother, the store calling for more Mountain Dew, the chemical-fume hoods and the smoke-particle-challenge method, the men who don't call, and all those egg whites and protein shakes that have made this moment possible. Forget it all! This is it. This is a rain dance, a joy dance, a jet-propulsion explosion of cheerleader love, love to the crowd, love from the crowd, men in striped pajamas, wigs, tails, painted bellies washing clean, oh, those men are super, super-duper adorable. Who-dey drunk.
In the stands cheering for Adrienne is Pam, the woman who hitchhiked decades ago to Florida to scoop her up. Also, Adrienne's cousin Leslie, her aunt Nancy, her little aunt Sandy, and her regular aunt Sandy—the one who takes the picture. It is the first time they get a picture of Adrienne on the JumboTron. In the picture, Adrienne is smiling and looking up. It's just her face next to her name and her hometown and her hobbies. In that moment, she doesn't even know she is on the JumboTron. She is damp, out-of-her-mind joyful. Free.
Weeks go by, months, a year. Adrienne is looking at the picture. She keeps it in a storage box in her spare bedroom. She doesn't know what else to do with it. She thinks she looks awesome. She thinks she looks like a real girl. She thinks she looks happy. Probably she should display the picture, downstairs with her collection of tiny ceramic angels. She can't believe this is happening.
Jeanne Marie laskas is a gq correspondent.


text: French actor Gerard Depardieu (right) chats with Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov shortly after his arrival in Chechnya's capital, Grozny, on Feb. 24. Musa Sadulayev/AP hide caption toggle caption Musa Sadulayev/AP Parallels Gerard Depardieu To Star In Two Chechnya-Based Films May 16, 2013 The actor accepted Russian citizenship in January after he denounced a proposed new tax on the rich in his native France. The Chechen connection is likely to rile human rights groups that have accused the president of the Russian republic of gross human rights violations. Depardieu will appear opposite Elizabeth Hurley in the first of the films.


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Yeppers, that's me! And the sky was threatening, but it didn't stop me from climbing to the top. Plus, this is one of the few Mayan pyramids which you can explore the inside of. One of the coolest places I've ever been. If I get some time, I'll scan some others and post them.Originally Posted by tim11
The photo was taken with a Nikon FG with Fuji ASA 100 film. I scanned the 4x6" print on an HP 3330 MFP scanner and cleaned it up in PSP 10 (added a little contrast and removed dust and scratches...that's it).


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India is a spectacular country, as diverse culturally as it is geographically. India's more than 1.2 billion people live in chaotic, colorful cities, tranquil fishing villages and towns encircled by lush rainforests and nature preserves. Hindu is the most common religion, but many other religions are practiced in this deeply spiritual country. The traditions, festivals and temples of India are soul-stirring and visually stunning, and will remain bright in a traveler's memory forever.
Sri Lanka is a tropical island off the coast of India. It may be small, but the island has a lot to offer visitors. You'll find pristine beaches, incredible wildlife, and rich history.
Each year, we have several voyages calling on some of the most fascinating places in India and Sri Lanka. They're often called "The Spice Route" voyages, as an homage to the popular trade route of centuries past. These itineraries are perfect for back-to-back voyages, so that you can have true Destination Immersion® experiences in this incredible region.
- The Spice Route, April 15 to May 1, 2016
- The Spice Route I, November 3 to November 17, 2016
- The Spice Route II, November 17 to November 30, 2016
- The Spice Route, April 9 to April 22, 2017
- Pearls Along the Indian Ocean, April 22 to May 12, 2017
- Spices, Teas and Rubber Trees, November 24 to December 9, 2017
- Indian Ocean Adventure, April 8 to April 26, 2018
- The Spice Route, November 7 to November 26, 2018
The beauty of India and Sri Lanka is captured, every day, by photographers on Instagram. These nine photos will no doubt inspire you to begin planning a journey.
Chennai, India
Chennai, in Southern India, is an eclectic mix of historic landmarks, gorgeous beaches, and modern, glamorous hotspots. The people of Chennai are known for their warmth and hospitality. In fact, Tamil culture considers serving food to be a pious act. Music, art, dance and theater are important,
The nearby ancient town of Mamallapurum represents the pinnacle of Tamil culture's appreciation for beauty. There, you'll see incredible Hindu temples, cave sanctuaries, and thousands of intricately carved statues honoring the god Shiva.
Colombo, Sri Lanka
Source: Instagram
Colombo is the capital of Sri Lanka, and has a lot to offer visitors. The area is home to gorgeous Buddhist and Hindu temples, like the one pictured above, as well as an elephant orphanage and the country's largest national park.
Goa, India
Goa is a blissful beachside town surrounded by quaint villages, spice plantations and lush wetlands perfect for birdwatching. Goa was occupied by Portugal until 1961 (fourteen years after India obtained independence from Britain) and the Portuguese influence can still be noticed today.
Agra, India
Skip the selfies when you visit Agra's famed Taj Mahal, and instead capture the monument at an interesting angle during the soft lighting of "magic hour" like this photographer did. No matter how many photographs you've seen, nothing compares to seeing the white marble mausoleum in person.
Delhi, India
From Goa, Azamara guests can participate in a three-day overland journey to Agra and Delhi. Pictured here is a flower market in Old Delhi, in the midst of preparations for Diwali. The sea of bright orange marigolds are used in celebrations for India's most important festival.
Diwali, a festival of lights, celebrates the triumph of good over evil and is held on the 15th day of the month Kartika in the Hindu calendar (sometime between mid-October and mid-November).
Hambantota, India
Hambantota, Sri Lanka will be a maiden port-of-call for Azamara in 2018. We can't wait to explore the nearby national parks and hot springs. Bundala National Park, pictured here, is home to at least 197 different species of birds, as well as monkeys, turtles, crocodiles, and a small population of elephants. Join the 19-Night Spice Route Voyage, and explore with us for the first time!
Kochi, India
Kochi, India is full of surprises. For example, did you know that a very small Jewish population resides here? (We told you India is religiously diverse!) You'll find temples,mosques, a 400 year-old synagogue and the famous Church of Saint Francis in this serene city.
One of the most popular excursions from Kochi is a tour of the greater area of Kerala by traditional houseboat, through the "backwaters" - an interconnected network of rivers and lagoons.
Port Blair, India
Port Blair is the provincial capital of India's Andaman Islands. This archipelago is surrounded by crystal clear waters, home to colorful fish and coral reefs. The Mahatma Ghandi Marine National Park covers 280 square kilometers and fifteen islands. Visitors can explore by kayaking, snorkeling, scuba diving, or taking a tour on a glass-bottomed boat.
Mumbai, India
Mumbai is a paradox. It is both rich and poor, modern and ancient, beautiful and crowded. There's so much to do and see in Mumbai. Temples, museums, bazaars and historic landmarks make the city a travel photographer's dream. The Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, seen here lit up for Diwali, is a historic railway station and a UNESCO Heritage Site. However, Mumbai is for experiencing, not sightseeing. Luckily for us, that's what Destination Immersion® experiences are all about.
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