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One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Stay Close To Me
Oscar Wilde once said, "I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being." Clearly, Mr. Wilde watches a lot of Survivor. Bernhardt, Olivier, Barrymore, Dench... Lusth. Legends of stage and screen. Roses flying through the air, audiences erupting into applause, theatre lights warming the skin, accolades, accolades, Bravo, Brava. The work of an actor requires discipline, integrity, perseverance, and self reflection. When the great actor, Lusth, hones his craft, the curls are bouncy and the skin is glistening. Hours of preparation (masturbating) and moustache twirling (masturbating) are devoted to pulling off the greatest ruse of all time. To lie on stage or to lie in life: is there really any difference? Little tiny thimble fulls of dishonesty designed to cloak dark secrets are merely a means to an end. Hopefully, it's an end where the audience is on their feet demanding "More, more, more!" and not an end where the viewer at home snorts into her tumbler of gin and violently throws empty pill bottles at the screen. Well, beggars can't be choosers. Let's recap, shall we?
We continue our tale of deceit in the thick of night next to a crackling fire. Young Cochran couldn't be more pleased by the turn of events at Tribal Council and is eager to share his neurotic glee with his tribemates. He tells the stars to shine brighter, the breeze to blow cooler, and the earth to spin faster. "Spin, spin, spin, we're making Survivor history, spin!" However, the grumpy grump master, Energizer Bunny (Keith), isn't feeling quite as merry as the young sweater-vested one is. He'd much rather sit and stab sticks in the fire while hurling thinly veiled insults into the night sky . You see, Energizer Bunny doesn't live his life letting other people fight his battles. He's much more manly that that. Really? *scratches head* Then why did you vote out Ozzy, dumb ass? Ozzy didn't go to Rhode Island (Redemption Island) to save Cochran. He went to Rhode Island to save the tribe. A tribe that includes you, Mr. Sourpuss.
Out of either annoyance or embarrassment, Cochran ignores the barbs being hurled in his direction and chooses instead to focus on Phase 2 of the D.U.M.B. plan: Secret Agent Man. Cochran is apparently supposed to become a double agent and report all of the Impala's (Upolu) intel to the Savannahs (Savai'i). As an audience, we weren't entirely privy to the creation of phase 2 of the D.U.M.B. plan, but something tells me that it might have been designed for the sole purpose of keeping Cochran busy and out of everybody's hair. Nevertheless, Cochran is ready for his close up Mr. Demille. After all, he has pretended to like the loathsome creatures on his tribe for the past 18 days. Surely he can play the duplicitous villain when the time is appropriate. Just please don't ask him to do "Hoo-ah!" from Scent Of A Woman. His Al Pacino still needs a little work.
Over on Rhode Island, the frightful play continues. We're approaching Act 2 now and Ozzy is about to lay out the exposition for Christine Clearwater Revival. A play can't move forward without two things: Exposition and Conflict. Once Christine City Rollers actually believes that Cochran played the Idol at Tribal Council and was responsible for ousting Ozzy, then Ozzy can begin the slow tragic fall of a hero. After experiencing some agony and all around piss-assness, our protagonist must enter gingerly into his conflict/obstacle. It is the facing and overcoming of this obstacle that will propel our story forward into Act 3 where, if all goes according to plan, we reach our denouement and a peaceful state of calm is once again achieved.
The stage lights dim and we see Sir Ozzy enter from Stage Right. Christine Inch Nails stirs from her slumber as the curtains part...
"Who is it?"
"Sorry to wake you up. I am Ozzy of the Savannahs. Oh man, can you believe it? I was sent here by an Idol!" *waves hands around nervously and kicks the sand*
"Yes! Really! A devilish man-child in glasses pulled the wools over my eyes and here I stand. Oh the humanity!"
"You mean Cochran?"
"Don't speaketh his name woman! Vile creature of the underworld that lad is." *shakes fist in air* "Weasel! LAWYER!!! Are you kidding me?!?"
Annnd scene! *dabs tears with a lace handkerchief* Well, I was moved, were you?
Deep in the weeds of Act 2 we arrive at Rhode Island for the big duel. Typically, on the stage, this is where we'd see men in powdered wigs and frilly shirts slapping each other across the face with leather gloves. The orchestra booms from the pit, the lights pulse in accompaniment, and it's an exciting time to be a theatre goer. Please to enjoy Act 2:
"Ozzy, are you surprised to find yourself here?"
"Egads! Ugh!" *grumble grumble* "You know, I gave everything to my tribe and this is how they treat me!" *dramatic twirl* "Damn ye Idol Of Whores! Whyyyy!!!" *collapses into a pile of tears*
From the Mezzanine, Albie leans over to Coach and whispers, "I don't buy it. I thought Pirates of Penzance was so much better than this." Coach nods and replies, "It's certainly no Starlight Express."
For today's duel, we're going to once again play the Brady Bunch game. Players must create a pole out of sticks and twine in order to retrieve 3 key rings. Unlock the locks of your jail before the old crotchety prospector returns and you'll not only stay alive, but you'll rejoin the game. That's right bitches, we're merging - just like the CBS promo said we were.
Survivors ready, go. Quickly, our actors begin to assemble their poles. A little saliva here, a little elbow grease there, and Christine Atomic Dustbin makes her first attempt. The pole is long enough, but alas, it's not strong enough! Ozzy also makes an attempt, but drops his keys into the sand. After some repairs and alterations, he hooks his keys and before Christine For Pyros knows what the hell is going on... the audience erupts into applause and OZZY STAYS ALIVE!!!
With a jaunty click of his heels and a tapping of his cane, the little tramp beams with pride which means that we've successfully reached our conflict resolution. A sense of catharsis falls over our hero and the evil witch, Christine Lee Simmons, no longer has a part to play in this here drama. Fare thee well lady with 3 names. I won't say I'll miss you all that much. Not only was it exhausting thinking of names for you, but you proved to be a woman with no sense of humor. I was rooting for you and my readers were rooting for you yet week after week after week you kept deleting my blogs from your FB Wall. That's not very nice. I could've spent the time it took thinking up all your cockamamie names stirring my bathtub gin or online ordering pharmaceuticals from Canada. Please never return to Survivor. Go get "Legitimate Force" tattooed on your ankle or something. Buh bye.
The as yet unnamed Merged Tribe descends on their new camp to find a cornucopia of delights: crackers, cheese, beer, fruit, nuts, pretzels. The fare was more "Saturday Afternoon Pub" than "Picnic on Cythera", but everyone was joyous and the merrymaking introductions quickly got underway. Mormon Dawn (I knew it!) refuses a beer while wispy Edna daintily nibbles on a cracker crumb. That should last her through to February.
Amidst the "howdy doo's", Cochran sits alone and is soon approached by Coach who asks him how everything is going in light of the drama at the Savannah's last Tribal Council. Cochran takes a deep breath and reveals how today is his rebirth. Through on camera interviews, Cochran would like us to believe that this was all part of his grand master flash secret agent man plan, but, in reality, I think it really was a rebirth for him. Stanislavsky said that "the actor must believe in everything that takes place on the stage." Well, I think Cochran believes in his rebirth because it was his rebirth.
That honesty and straightforwardness of the gifted performer wouldn't last long though. Cochran continues his meeting with Coach while swinging in a hammock and begins to lay on thick the "Oh, the way my tribe kicks sand in my face. Woe is me! Maybe I should switch sides???" and instantly Coach's bullshit bell begins to ding. Cochran may think he was born to play a double agent, but his performance reeked hauntingly of Ozzy back on Rhode Island. Had he not started throwing handkerchiefs around and breaking out into song at inappropriate times, Coach would be none the wiser. But, as a rabid fan of Cats, Coach knew instantly that this "confession" was simply the posturing of a poorly trained understudy. In no uncertain terms, Coach tells Cochran that he thinks the Savannahs are putting on a poorly produced play for the Impalas in an effort to dupe and sabotage them. It's almost creepy how accurately Coach outlines the Savannah's plan from sending Ozzy to Rhode Island all the way up to sending Cochran in as a double agent. He may pray a lot and juggle fake balls of sun more than any one man should, but his instincts were right on and both myself and Cochran were impressed.
As a student of the game, Cochran expected Coach to come out wearing a cape, riding an imaginary horse, and waving a wand around turning trees into castles. Instead, he found a smart guy who saw right through the poorly applied make-up, right through the improvs, and right through the moth eaten clothes of a second rate cast. Who knew Coach was such a theatre nut?! Furthermore, Coach and Cochran aren't as dissimilar as one might think. In one of my favorite moments last night, Coach confides that he knows how it is to go through life superior to others intellectually yet at the same time attacked for being inferior in other ways. It was a crystal clear moment of truth that resonated loudly with Young Cochran. Sure, Coach may have been trying to woo Cochran, but like that Stanislavsky thing - Coach believed it which made Cochran believe it. So while these two couldn't look more different on the outside, on the inside they might as well be Doublemint Twins.
So now Cochran has a decision to make. Will he side with the Savannahs like he promised and push the next vote to the drawing of rocks or will he jump ship and stick it to the assholes who have treated him poorly for the past 18 days? He's not sure how he'll swing, but until he figures it out he'll just go ahead and tell the Impalas all of the Savannah's secrets. *smacks self in head* There goes that ego thing I was talking about last week. Cochran gets one teeny tiny taste of a captive audience and he's off and running. Brandon now knows Ozzy's ATM code, Albie now knows what Whitney wears to bed, and Sophie now knows every grade Energizer Bunny has ever gotten since kindergarten. Cochran's mouth is like one of those fountains of a cherub peeing. Only, this cherub shits a lot too. If anyone from the CIA or FBI is reading this here little blog (I naturally assume the world of espionage is like Three Days Of The Condor and Robert Redford is sitting behind a desk with large lapels reading everything I put out into the universe), do not, I repeat, DO NOT ever hire Young Johnny Cochran from the Commonwealth Of Virginia to work for you and protect our national secrets and borders. You're better off hiring Phillip Sheppard. He wears a feather in his cap and talks to nuts and berries, but at least he can keep a secret for longer than 2 minutes.
Amidst the verbal diarrhea of state secrets, Cochran pauses to wonder if maybe these new Impalas will look at him as a disloyal and shady kind of a guy. *stifles giggles* Oh no, never! Albie assures Cochran that he's not being disloyal. It only counts as "disloyal" if the Savannahs treated him well and then he went and told their secrets. I'm not sure what rule book that's written in - maybe it's in The Skulls handbook - but it works for Cochran and puts him at ease. Neurotic fit averted. In fact he's so calm and relaxed that he slithers on over to Lil Hantz and tells him how he's supposed to be gathering information for his tribe right now. Brandon may not have his head screwed on tight, but he knows a thing or two about bullying and retribution. Those are what brought him to God after all. Brandon asks Cochran who he's most afraid of on Savannah and the two make up a hit list together with Mary Jane (Jim) at the top followed by the Energizer Bunny. Brandon puts the list in his back pocket, straps on a nine, and assures Cochran that he has nothing to worry about. I wonder if Brandon runs a cartel back at home... Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if Mary Jane and the Bunny's heads end up on slow moving turtles moving across the New Mexican desert.
The self proclaimed double agent, this "mastermind", decides to go ahead and give the Idol back to Ozzy. That was no masterminding. That was fear, my friends. Visions of being hung upside down by a curly haired handjob master and being shaken until an Idol falls out aren't all that appealing to Cochran I guess. So after "masterminding" the Idol back into Ozzy's hands, Cochran steals away with Mormon Dawn and the two discuss just how loyal they plan on being to their own tribe. Cochran says he'll vote with the Savannahs in round one for sure, but after that it's up in the air. With her hands close to her chest and her giant prairie skirt sticking to her legs, Dawn breaks down into a jumble of tears for her bespectacled freckly friend. After 20 harrowing days of watching him endure the wrath and disrespect of her fellow Savannahs, it has finally dawned on Dawn (ha! dawned on Dawn) that maybe those bullies were not so nice and his feelings might have been hurting all along. Oh puh-lease! Too little too late, sister. For 3 weeks you've watched your tribe hurl rocks at his head and make him the camp slave, but now you suddenly feel bad about it? Do it with me folks *makes a 'W' with fingers* Whatever! That wasn't sympathy. That was a hormonal imbalance.
And now we arrive at the first Individual Immunity Challenge. Only, it's not individual! It's dual. It's sexist. It's one for you and one for me. Come on in guys! Before we get to today's challenge - Keanu, I mean Keith, what pray tell is the new tribe name? "It's Tuna Tartare (Tetuna). It's based on the story of how the coconut came to be. *Beavis & Butthead laugh*" I really hope that was your pacemaker sputtering and not your real laugh. Oy vey.
For today's challenge, Survivors will balance on a small perch while holding a coconut on two ropes. At regular intervals, the ropes will get longer thus making it more difficult to hold onto. The last female standing wins Immunity and the last male standing wins Immunity. Survivors ready, go!
The breeze that left Dimples mouth when he said "Go!" was strong enough to knock over Edna so she's out. Pleased as punch that he didn't go out first, Cochran's freckles start to dance and - boom! - he's out too. End of Round 1.
For round two the ropes are a smidge longer and it's all too much for Whitney and Sophie. What the hell? DAWN WINS IMMUNITY!!! That seemed way too easy, but what the hell do I know? I can balance a martini, a gin fizzy, a feather boa, my cell phone, a fetching clutch, a bottle of pills with someone else's name on it, and a bowl of glitter all in one hand while wearing 6 inch heels and no pants. I am in no way a fair judge.
We're down to just the men and their nuts now. Coach shoots his wad, Rancher Rick's giant hat topples him over, Mary Jane's dead eyes stuns his nut to death, and the Energizer Bunny must have giggled or something because all 4 of those dudes are done. With only Albie, Brandon, and Ozzy left in the game, they'll battle it out in round 3 until a winner is decided. Ozzy begins to wobble as the sun beats down. Albie's pecs do peccy things and the sweat begins to drip. Men v. Nuts. It should have been clear to us from the very beginning because who is the nut master of Survivor? OZZY WINS IMMUNITY!!! Ugh.
Back at Tuna Tartare with ill-placed harmonica hill music playing in the background, the Savannahs are busy congratulating themselves and having a meeting about how the vote will go. Sophie is their number one choice, but Mary Jane thinks there's no way the Impalas would ever think to use their Idol to save Rancher Rick. Ozzy flips his hair this way and that while Mary Jane hacks a coconut to death. The two want to know for sure that everyone is voting for Rancher Rick tonight. Cochran asks, "Why? Do you want me to flip? Should I flip?" *smacks self in head again* Why even say something like that?!? And the Worst Double Agent Of The Year award goes to...
For some reason, all of these dumb ass people who probably spent years trying to get on this show are just fine and dandy with letting the vote go to a tie and then to the draw of a colored rock - especially Mary Jane. "You gonna let it go to rocks? You're comfortable going to rocks, right? Just making sure you're going to rocks. Rocks, rocks, rocks!" I'm sure he has some sort of poker algorithm about odds and statistics in that giant dead-eyed cranium of his that assures his safety, but it's a little unnerving how pushy he is to let the vote go to rocks. Next they have to decide if they want to use the Idol and who they want to use it on. Enter motormouth Mary Jane again. "Whitney, Whitney, we have to give it to Whitney. They'll never think we'll give it to Whitney. Play the Idol for Whitney. Rocks, rocks, Whitney, rocks!" Did meth just become legal in Colorado? He's got to be peddling something with a little more oomph, something other than weed. Mary Jane with all of his plans and schemes... it's like a meth head disassembling the tv and telephone out of boredom.
Meanwhile, Cochran is busy taking notes on a giant legal pad "Rick, Idol, Whitney, rocks." He folds up the paper, puts in his pocket, and makes his way over to the Savannahs. As someone who loves the game, Cochran is extremely uncomfortable letting the vote go to rocks. While that may be true, I do think the rock scenario gives him a little more of a push to cross over to the other side. He can spout all he wants about being a true lover of the game, but, in reality, he's just really scared. His chances of staying tonight are far better if he flips. The rock scenario lingering in the distance gives Cochran the justification he's been looking for all along. Now that he has it, will he use it?
After telling Sophie the Savannah's plan - "Rick, Idol, Whitney, rocks." - Cochran wonders if maybe the Impalas will just go ahead and use the Idol on Rancher Rick. That way Cochran won't have to flip and the bullies won't bury him in the sand head first. Sophie thinks for a second and decides that even though she trusts Cochran, she can't commit to that. Besides, this is the Impalas way to test Cochran's loyalty. Trust is earned, not given Freckle Face. The conversation ends with Cochran gripping the hem of Sophie's dress and making her promise that she won't let the bad guys beat him up. Sophie agrees and Cochran finally lets go of her dress. Next he scurries off to Coach and asks, "They're going to eat me alive! Where am I going to sleep?!" Coach tells him he can spoon with him and Edna. This makes Cochran feel better and now he has only one person left to check in with... Dawn.
After visiting the medic and getting doped up with whatever hormones ladies that age take, Dawn seems much calmer now. She asks Cochran which way he's thinking of voting and swears she won't tell anyone. She'll just let him play his little game only... he's about to start a war!!! War is never the solution. It's always the problem. The war on dirt, the war on grime, the war on rising grocery prices, the war on carpool lanes... Dawn is no stranger to war and the last thing she wants now is a war in her own tribe. Hey lady, what happened to all those icky feelings you had about the assholes on your tribe treating Cochran like scum? Where did those go? Did the fairy "Millicent Progesterone" make them all go away? Are you sure you're not related to Crazy Pants? Before, Cochran was a nice smart boy who reminded Dawn of her son. Now, he's a selfish prick who's not supporting his tribe. I shudder to think which one of her personalities will show up in the morning.
And this brings us to Tribal Council. Tuna Tartare is there in all of it's glory and Coach starts off by saying that the vote will most likely go to 6-6. Dimples wonders if maybe someone can flip sides. He points to Edna who blows over the log and whispers from the ground, "If that one individual didn't feel incorporated or part of that tribe, that could be one reason." Thank you Edna.
Dimples turns the conversation to the Idol and Albie is more than happy to give a theatre critique of Ozzy's Rhode Island performance. Like the great Dorothy Parker said of Katherine Hepburn, "[Ozzy] runs the gamut of emotions from A to B." Sophie jumps in and proclaims that she was actually offended by what happened at Rhode Island. It's a regular Algonquin Round Table here in the South Pacific. Witty intellectuals tearing apart the curly tendrils of bravado. Woe is the vicious circle of reason.
It's a shame that reason can't be taught because out of anger over his poor reviews from the South Pacific Theatre Critics Association (SPTCA for short), Ozzy says, "You guys are right. I do have the Idol!" *smacks Ozzy in the head* Why can't this guy ever let anything go?! Why does he always have to be such a show off? A savvy person would have just smiled and nodded. Instead, Ozzy pulls the Idol out and dances around the campfire with it. Seriously, I can't stand this guy. Nauseating. By the look on Coach's face, he feels pretty much the same way I do. Coach and I just smirk and shake our heads together over what a dumdum that feeble-minded Ozzy is.
It's time to vote. If anyone has the Hidden Immu... "I have it! See! It's right here! Hahaha! Look at me - Idol Man!" After a herky jerky dance of kicks and elbows, Ozzy turns over his Idol and uses it on Whitney. The Impalas laugh to themselves as the vote reveals a tie: 6 for Keith, 6 for Rancher Rick. We vote again...
Survivors can only vote for Keith or Rick now. I'll read the votes... Keith (yes!), Keith (woohoo!), Keith (haha!), Keith (sucker!), Keith (later alligator!), Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick... *drumroll* KEITH IS THE 8th PERSON VOTED OUT OF SURVIVOR SOUTH PACIFIC!!! *glitter falls from the sky as Mary Jane begins to pummel Cochran upside the head with a rock* Lil Hantz reaches in and plucks Cochran out to safety. Mary Jane shouts, "Coward! Coward!" It's mayhem, I tell you, and it's delicious! The Impalas surround Cochran in a cloud of love and God while Brandon leans over and whispers, "Stay close to me." Off into the night, off into the darkness, off into safety? The tides have turned, my friends.
So, what did you think of last night's episode? Will Mary Jane bash Cochran's head in with a coconut? Will Dawn picket the war? Will Cochran never ever ever move about camp alone again? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
23 comments:
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 3:58 PM
Wonderful review as always.ReplyDelete
This seriously is becoming my fave season since possibly Pearl Islands and since there is no LIL I see it surpassing the former soon.
As crazy as Brandon clearly is I actually like the guy he seems like a decent person who doesnt understand the survivor is evil LOL. and seeing him stand up for cochran against Jim made me smile.
Probst totally nailed it at TC this has been one of the ost competitive set of tribes ever assembled and its made for excellent TV.
Keep up the good work GO TEAM COACH
"That seemed way too easy, but what the hell do I know? I can balance a martini, a gin fizzy, a feather boa, my cell phone, a fetching clutch, a bottle of pills with someone else's name on it, and a bowl of glitter all in one hand while wearing 6 inch heels and no pants. I am in no way a fair judge."ReplyDelete
This is what I love about you.
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 5:10 PM
Was this a blog or a Master's thesis?ReplyDelete
A wide-ranging, bouncy, LSD-infused recap of a wonderful episode of Survivor!
Sorry but I wasn't lucky enough to attend a fancy Catholic All-Grrls school.
Still chasing down the secret codes, hidden references and cultural nods.
Dimples has done a much better job this year and I believe this blog had something to do with that.
Viva La Lala!!
Too bad Christine Clearwater Revival (your best one of the bunch in my opinion) is gone 'cause you so rock finding names for her. Shame on her for being such a sourpuss: she should actually have been honored instead. That was a kickass episode and even more kicker asser blog. Your theatrical depiction had me in stitches. Like Anon at 3:58, I was surprised to find some spark of decentness in Brandon. I guess he found someone more pathetic than he is so he's doing the whole "I'll protect you" game for his own redemption, being the religulous man that he is. Ozzy should definitely earn a Razzy for his "performance" at Rhode Island. Speaking of which, it sucks that the Bunny still has a chance of coming back. I think he sucks, big time. Keep it coming Lala. You are truly the best and I look forward to your blog as much as each episode. Hendrick's for everyone!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 6:08 PM
Can someone exlain to me why Ozzie gave the idol to a team mate, realizing that the first vote would be a tie. thanks.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 6:15 PM
I happen to love ,love, love, Ozzie. It is highly unusual for me to have a showmance with a character or contestant, but Ozzie stirs me in all of the "right" places. He is one sexy guy. Not endorsing his game play, but you can not take away his SEX APPEAL. I would love to be stranded anywhere with him.ReplyDelete
Mad Crush
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 6:42 PM
I think Cochran made a horrible move. He always says he's a student of the game and I think he got taken advantage of by Coach because Cochran would rather be known as "that guy on survivor who changed everything" than "the guy who won." He was totally manipulated with Coach's confession of being bullied for being intellectually superior (i sense just a little ego).ReplyDelete
Cochran was pretty much guaranteed final 6 and probably further as he's no threat in immunity challenges so they wouldn't vote him out. Instead the best he can hope for is 7th. I don't think upolu 's 6 will crack for cochran. And my prediction is Cochran is voted off next week. All 4 remaining Savahis want blood. Upolu is safe with numbers now. So if they all vote out cochran they keep their numbers, eliminate a guy who already flipped once and can't be trusted, acts unpredictably, and make some potential friends in savahi that could be used later on when the numbers dwindle. Adios Cochran.
- AnonymousNovember 3, 2011 at 8:50 PM
i am routing for cochran. I am sick of Ozzy and his ego. Cochran is trying to make his own moves in this game. His tribe was using him.ReplyDelete
- yours trulyNovember 3, 2011 at 8:51 PM
It was worth waiting for. I didn't know your pills would run out so soon. I see where I went wrong. While you were out I was looking for the key to the liquor cabinet. You said it was hidden under a rock. You failed to mention the pet in a box.ReplyDelete
So, I shook your pom poms, dusted off the nuts and wondered why the child proof caps were on the empty pill bottles. Intellectual Catholic cheerleaders are quirky sexy.
Christine Three Names might as well go for a tattoo belt. Ink is pretty cheap in this economy. Christine Always Legitimate Force* (Sometimes).
Dawn clearly had a WWJD? moment and said so. Cochran ignoring that puts him in good standing with Coach's view of religion and at odds with his bodyguard Brandon. Easy to mastermind his way out of that. Religion is all about doing first and asking forgiveness later.
Nice place you have here.
Glad all is well Lala, great recaps! I'm upset Christine Abdul-Jabbar is gone, though I think she was just glad to leave. Her vengeance and fire went away like her hygiene. I wonder if she had to sleep outside for a few days after getting kicked off like POWs. I actually thought this episode was pretty exciting. Apparently the ratings this year haven't been too great, so hopefully CBS will stop bringing former people back and end this redemption island thing. I really like what Cochran did, because even after Ozzy came back, they all still made fun of Cochran... uh Keith, this was OZZY'S plan you douche! Why are you mad at Cochran? Of course Cochran's not gonna say, "No Ozzy, don't do this, I want to be voted off." I thought it was weird too how Dawn completely flipped on her emotions just a day later. But I was most surprised with Brandon when he said to Mary Jane not to call him a coward. Which is why Cochran turned on them in the first place. I don't know why Cochran thinks a group of people will let them in his circle, when after today they won't need him anymore really, but maybe Brandon is insane enough to really protect him. I hope so!ReplyDelete
- Addison DeWittNovember 4, 2011 at 1:48 AM
Forced by circumstance into actually watching an episode of this ghastly production known as "Survivor" I must secretly confess to having a ball!ReplyDelete
I squealed in delight when that wonderful creature referred to as "Coach" by the dull contestants revealed that he, like Cochran, had also felt the stinging rebuke of intellectual inferiors. Tell me, for I am not au fait with the rules, what becomes of the eliminated contestant? Are they physically beaten by the others? Are they tortured? Are they *draws breath* executed? Is their fate decided by the holder of a conch? Or is it the holder of this mysterious "idol" who decides?
How I regret spending my previous Wednesday evenings in the company of that tiresome bore Waldo Lydecker when I could have been watching such delicious Darwinian drama! On television no less! Perhaps I was wrong to dismiss it as a passing fad designed for the inferior masses.
Could it be that I, in my advancing years, am becoming part of said masses? Perhaps it is Waldo who has been indulging me, rather than the inverse! Oh the humiliation!
I must fight this atrophy! Despite my enjoyment of "Survivor" I resolve to never again watch television. I will continue to read your blog however, as this latest post indicates the opposite of atrophy on your part. Heed my warning though my dear - eventually all this television will catch up with you...
Follow Oscar's advice - get to the theatre! The stage's the thing!
Now make yourself useful and mix me a gin fizzy *snaps fingers*.
...aahh lovely.
and another...
- Jimmy RhythmNovember 4, 2011 at 10:49 AM
Jim and Keith have outed themselves as Big Bullies of the Third Kind; I doubt if Ozzy flipped that Jim would call him a coward to his face. Their actions speak more about their faults than Cochran's. It won't happen, but my hope is that the next time Harvard sees both of those assholes at the same time, it'll be as a Final Three player flipping off a pair of bitter jury members.ReplyDelete
Great recap as always, Lala.
Great episode and great recap! Poor Cochran. I agree that he's next to go. Unless Brandon tries to be his protector and gets pushy about it, he's gone. Or maybe Brandon is gone. Will be fun to see.ReplyDelete
Who WOULD be happy with the vote going to rocks? That's just crazy. Team Ozzie should have worked a little harder on making those who felt out of the loop, feel in the loop. It really is about numbers at this point.
Fav line: "heads end up on slow moving turtles moving across the New Mexican desert." That's a tough visual.
Fav concept: The theatrics on display (however lacking in talent) at RI or else Mary Jane's dull eyes revealing perhaps a Meth secret.
Is Addison your twin separated at birth?
Great entertainment Collette LaLaLaLa.
Freaking Cochran! My wife was hella pissed last night over what took place. Her lust for Ozzy only has me a little worried nowadays (The first season of Ozzy had me very worried). But the Savannahs are much more likeable in my opinion than the Hypocritical Impalas and their BS praying all the time. I'm pretty sure prayer and worship are supposed to be done in private, and not put on display, for people that believe in that sort of thing. Dawn admitted in her confessional that she prayed, but at least she didn't search out a camera first to show how Christian and unworthy she is. The best part about Christine is she didn't tell us every week at Rhode Island that it must be God's will for her to stay there for so long. If there is a God, He's probably not too concerned with the outcome of a reality game compared to other events taking place in the world.ReplyDelete
Back to what happened last episode. Ozzy's shitty acting and Coach's manipulations of Cochran aside... did Cochran just forget that it was Mary Jane that saved his ass a few days earlier when they conspired to get Elyse out? Or how about how Ozzy saved his ass by sacrificing himself to go to Rhode Island.
Here's hoping Albie and Sophie are still pissed about voting out Mikayla and the previews of them and Mary Jane hooking up aren't just CBS misdirection.
Your recaps are the best Lala, thank you.
- yours trulyNovember 4, 2011 at 7:36 PM
@anon Perplexed, I'm still confused about the idol play and re-read Lala's recap.ReplyDelete
Why did Ozzy act a fool and use it on the wrong person? Lala blames Motormouth. I don't think it's in the rulebook to allow use of a hidden idol in a second round tiebreaker vote.
So here's a bigger problem. Cochran tells Sophie that his crew is voting for Rancher Rick and? Whitney will have hidden idol protection? Why doesn't Coach and company use their hidden idol to protect Rancher Rick? Keith goes home in the first round. Cochran gets double agent brownie points and doesn't have to cast a flip vote.
I don't know how either tribe decided on who to vote for. Why didn't Ozzy and his puppets take a swing at Coach instead of Cowboy? Why was Coach so confident he wasn't the target? If Ozzy had guessed Keith and gave him the idol and his tribe had voted Coach in instead of Mute Rick, Coach goes home with an idol in his pocket.
I can't watch the episode again to see what I must have missed.
Put me down for Cochran closest to the exit door, barring some miracle where he wins immunity.
- kandeekaneNovember 5, 2011 at 12:05 AM
Only 3 people on Cochrans team were in jeopardy of going home. I wouldn't have pulled a rock either. When they said they were going to give the hidden idol to Whitney and let those other 3 take their chances I would have said no fucking way. Give me the idol. Why should Whitney get it? Then if they would have tied a second time then Keith and Rick would of had immunity too, so that leaves only Mary Jane and Cochran from their tribe that would have been in jeopardy.ReplyDelete
I liked your Breaking Bad reference about the head on the turtle walking in the desert.
I hope Cochran can stick around and those assholes on Ben Wades team don't screw him over now that he flipped. I don't get why they didn't vote for Albert. They said they weren't going to vote for Ben cuz he probably has an idol but they could have at least targeted one of their stronger males like Albie, Albert? What ever his name is. Rick is insignificant. When did he join the show anyway?
Great blog, funny as always.
You know, really, the outcome of this episode did bring a feeling of sadness to me. I was really coming to love the various three-name combinations you came up with for Miss Long Island. Especially since it seemed to piss her off enough to delete your blog posts on her FB page. But then again, I've always loved to torture people who are unable to laugh at themselves.ReplyDelete
And I feel some here are misjudging Mr. Ben Wade. I'd love to see childhood pictures of his as proof, but somehow I have to believe he was the target of bullies in his childhood. I'm seeing him as more genuine as some here do I guess. As a kid who endured the scorn of people just like the assholes who tortured Cochran while the two tribes were around, hell, I felt sorry for the kid myself. And I don't blame him a bit for screwing them over.
I'm kinda a "reap what you sow", or "karma's a bitch" kind of guy. And Lil' Hantz said it all with his comment to MaryJane when the dope peddler called Cochran a coward.
Ms. Dawn has to be close to that magical time in a woman's life where her "little visitor" ceases coming around monthly, with that wide a range of hormones. And sadly, the "life coach conch shells" seem to be extinct in the South Pacific.
I see this as the only logical choice Cochran could make, and unless I'm totally reading this wrong, he's got Coach & Lil' Hantz as protectors from his former tribe.
All in all, thank you God for those special Nuns who educated Lala, that constant guilt education turned you into the person you are today. You totally crack me up weekly darlin!
- AnonymousNovember 5, 2011 at 3:28 PM
Cochran made a bad move, imo. With the rocks, he may have had a 1 in 7(or 8, if the idol didn't exlude Whitney) shot of going home, but if he and Jim survived the rocks, he would have a sure fire way to the final three.ReplyDelete
It would be Dawn and Cochran, Keith and Whitney, then there would be Ozzy and Jim going solo. This leaves Cochran alot of wiggle room if he had went to rocks.
INSTEAD, Cochran just ruined his chances of winning by destroying his jury votes, AND he most likely will get Penner'd or Candice'd, as in the flipper will be ousted right after flipping.
And Dawn wouldn't have tried to go to rocks if she didn't have immunity, me don't think.....
- AnonymousNovember 5, 2011 at 7:16 PM
Just want to commend you for such a great review! I'm really enjoying this season of Survivor and i'm glad I stumbled onto your blog!ReplyDelete
I'm late getting to this this week. Gosh....I am always amazed at just how funny you are. I should know this by now, but you get me every week.ReplyDelete
Anyway.....I loved Edna is light as a feather references, eating a crumb until February, etc.
The theatre jokes - also very funny.
I loved how Cochran told Sohpie EVERYTHING and then asks her who they are voting for and she basically says, nope, not gonna tell you. Good for her.
Dawn is just as stupid as Cochran. She knew he told the other tribe everything. So instead of praying that Cochran will come to his senses and not turn on his tribe. Why not at least tell your tribe so they can make another plan, and not give the idol to Whitney?? She did absolutely nothing with the information. She is a horrible Survivor player. She deserves nothing but to be voted off. What a waste.
I think Cochran is a weasel. The guy did deserve to be made fun of by his tribe. He stinks at everything he does. It's not like he's some great performer who is used and abused. He's worthless, and I was a fan of his at one time. But after screwing up the hook up on the challenge last week, I lost respect for him. He's useless. If he were on the other tribe, they'd be treating him the same way by now. He's had a million chances to prove himself and always fails. I am surprised to hear Anonymous at 8:50 pm 11/3 say that his tribe was using him. FOR WHAT?? I think they felt bad for him cause he's such a dorky guy, that's why they gave him so many chances. That and they probably also figure he can't beat them at individual immunity. He's a LOSER! I am very interested to see what happens this week.
- AnonymousNovember 8, 2011 at 12:31 PM
loved it Cochran did the right thing. His tribe would have definitely got rid of him next week. At least now he has a chance and I'm sure Brandon will protect him at least for a little while. Personally I can't stand Ozzy or anyone else on that tribe. Way too full of themselves. Perfect time to get rid of Keith.. :) go Cochran. He's the only one who keeps me entertained. You just never know what he will say next.ReplyDelete
Love the blog as usual.
By the way how do I get this on my FB?
Just friend me on FB anon. Link is on the right.ReplyDelete
I think Cochran will now last deep into the game. Why? Who wouldn't want to take him with to the finals? His entire tribe would vote against him, and the last few to go from the impalas will probably side with the remaining Impala finalist, making that person rich beyotch. No one really likes Cochran. It's like nut job from last season, perfect fodder for the final.ReplyDelete


text:
|International and Donor agencies
|Written by Administrator
|Tuesday, 10 June 2014 15:03
International and Donor agencies:
Latest News
- SCYTL and INTEC company presentation on e-voting system at Mongolian GEC
- "White paper on ICT development of Mongolia – 2010" is published!
- "White paper on ICT development, Mongolia – 2011" is published!
- Participation of staff of Intec at Training of Trainers in Korea
- Successfully implemented 5-day 3 levels of training
- Organization of information and communications technology training for specialists working on prevention of HIV/AIDS in Mongolia
- Intec Company has been awarded with Best training – 2009

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Creating an account with Tribecafilm.com gives you access to more features and services, like our weekly newsletter and other special features just for the film community.SIGN UP
We're making it easier than ever for you to stock up on Tribeca Film Festival tickets. Our revamped Wish List will save you time and effort in singling out the Festival titles you cannot wait to see.LEARN MORE
To take advantage of the Wish List, you must have a My Tribeca account. Creating a My Tribeca account gives you access to more features and services, like Wish Lists.SIGN IN
Creating an account with Tribecafilm.com gives you access to more features and services, like our weekly newsletter and other special features just for the film community.SIGN UP
I know, collective groan: "Yet another social network to keep up with?" Seems like there is a new one born every minute, and many of them fail to get off the ground. But here is why Pinterest might be a site you should consider using for your production.
• In just one month (December 2011-January 2012), Pinterest saw traffic increase over 155%, and over the last 6 months, traffic increased by 4000%. As of this month, they had over 11 million unique visitors to the site and over 10 million registered users from all over the world.
• Statistics show Pinterest drives more referral traffic on the Web than Google+, YouTube, Reddit and LinkedIn combined. The beauty of pinning photos/videos is they link back to websites, thus driving traffic. They are no follow links, so it doesn't help with SEO, but any link that drives traffic to a site is good for awareness and conversion.
• Mainly, the site now attracts women in the age range 25-44 who love fashion, home decorating and family related products. As it gains more of a following, this is bound to change. Still, if that is a target demographic for your film...
• Activities are based on images so rather than having to write a lot, you can simply post photo collections and they don't even have to be your own photos! I think this is the highly attractive thing about Pinterest; in fact, I am hearing about Pinterest addiction. Users typically spend 11 minutes on the site each visit. User scanning pictures is a lot more enjoyable than scanning status updates on Facebook clearly. Plus there is no EdgeRank to deal with. Once someone decides to follow your boards, they continually see new additions you make in their stream whenever they log in.
• The key for users doesn't seem to be gaining followers, but gaining repins meaning they want to have people think what they pin is cool (or hot, or whatever). They strive to be INFLUENCERS and that is exactly the people you want to find and connect with. Because people can follow boards they find interesting, it is possible to have many more followers on your boards than you do on your account profile.
• It integrates with your other social accounts like Facebook and Twitter and hopefully Google Plus is coming. There are embed badge widgets you can install on your website to integrate all of your social channels. Word of caution, at the moment the site only connects to Facebook PROFILES not business or professional pages, so you probably shouldn't opt to sign in with Facebook if you are using this for your film, just sign in with your email and don't connect to Facebook. If you want to tie Pinterest to your Twitter account, make sure it is the one you use for your film and when G+ comes online, make sure you have signed up using a gmail account for the production, not for your personal gmail account. However, other users can sign in with their social accounts and things they pin show up in their Facebook or Twitter stream, very handy for word of mouth to be spread about you and your film.
There is a "scoreboard" of sorts showing how many boards and followers you have over all, as well as followers of only certain boards and repins of your pins. The site also allows you to glean from others what they are interested in. You can start to "listen" to what your potential audience thinks is interesting by viewing what they select to pin. You don't follow people as much as you follow things, ideas, topics on Pinterest. You can repin something someone else has posted and this can open the door to a conversation. They can do the same with your pins and you are alerted via email when someone does this and it shows under that image on your board. This is an enormous help when you are trying to figure out what to post, what boards to create, what resonates most? While Facebook is about people and brands, Pinterest is about things and interests. You can only post images or video and some comments and tags in text on your boards.
I only recently started using it for the Joffrey project I am working on which is why all of my boards are devoted to that. Looking at them gives a good idea on the kind of thing you could use it for on your production. In my workshop presentations, I talk about posting regularly on your social channels and not just information directly about your film, but also about the interests of your audience; those who would be a fan of your film and of yourself as an artist. I am using the boards to show Joffrey history through pictures and videos; the ballets they created, the ballets they revived, their alumni dancers, Robert Joffrey through the years as well as photos of the merchandise available to buy through our site. It's a balance of audience interest and promotion for the film.
I noticed Ted Hope is using his boards to express his personal interests , things and people he admires and wants to draw more attention to, his artistic accomplishments and resources he uses that he thinks would be helpful to his connections. All of these things help in attracting an audience both to his films, but also to his professional life as a producer. His personal tastes are reflected in all of his boards and none are devoted to posting family vacations! The point being, we can get to know Ted as a professional person without his having to reveal too much private information.
Other artists in the indie film space currently starting to use Pinterest are writer/director James Gunn; transmedia educator/artist Christy Dena who uses her boards to showcase ideas about narrative, interactive and game design ideas she has discovered; filmmaker Erik Proulx has created boards that show his advertising and design background and what he finds inspirational for this. You may remember his short film Lemonade about those who were laid off, particularly in the advertising industry, and found inspiration to reinvent their lives completely. I think Erik into these inspirational, motivational, life changing stories which is why he is making another film called Lemonade. Detroit about a city that is reinventing itself. Filmmaker Gary King uses his boards to show his inspirations, showcase actors and actresses he loves and his career accomplishments. Film blog Film School Rejects uses their boards to keep readers updated on this year's Oscar contenders, interesting movie posters their readers might like and films they are watching.
Pinterest is just getting started so don't be alarmed that you have missed the boat. You still have first mover advantage here. You must join by invitation only, but those invitations aren't difficult to obtain. You can request one on their site.
A word about self promotion
As with any social network, you should be using Pinterest to directly connect with audience on a personal level, not as a one way promotional channel. Use creative ways to showcase your personal identity and vision and use it as a magnet to attract those most interested in what you, as an artist, have to say. You will find your audience is much more willing to stay with you across projects when you are mindful of their interests. Show us your style, the way you see the world, the way you tell a story, not just "buy my DVD." Contribute something of value to the community, and they will keep coming back.
Populate your boards before you start trying to add followers. As with any new endeavor online, you need some interesting content first. You wouldn't promote a website that only has a landing page that says coming soon, so start by thinking through what you want to say about yourself and your work, who are you trying to attract (this could be different types of audiences, which is fine), and analyzing visuals you can use from your own assets. Also, the account can have more than one contributor, which is good for sharing the responsibility of board maintenance with your marketing team.
As with anything you do online, track referral traffic coming to your site via Pinterest. If you use Google Analytics, you can find out how to do this here.
Pinterest is dead easy to get started on, but if you like tutorials, watch this video.
Here are some helpful Pinterest jargon, for all you beginners out there:
A Pin–an image added to Pinterest by a registered user
A Pinner–someone who is a registered user of Pinterest
Pinning–the act of sharing an image on Pinterest
A Pinboard–a collection of pins usually categorized around a topic, interest or theme
Repin–sharing some else's pin on one of your own boards
Pin It Button–a widget badge one can embed on their website to let others know about a Pinterest account. Also a bookmark shortcut one can add to a toolbar to easily pin something seen online to one a board.


text:
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text:
Do some data entry
Бюджет $10-30 USD
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text:
© 2011 - Columbia Pictures
Running Time: 109 min.
Release Date: August 26, 2011
DVD: December 20, 2011
Current rating:
based on 372 votes and 106 reviews
Rate Movie | Read all user reviews
Cast: Zoe Saldana, Jordi Molla, Lennie James, Michael Vartan, Cliff Curtis
The drama The Help was knocked to second place after two weeks at the top of the box...
Zoe Saldana has admitted that she had a breakdown after filming Avatar. The movie...
In this Canadian exclusive trailer launch, Zoe Saldana stars in Colombiana as a...


text:
There are endless recipes for scallopini but my favorite is a classic 5-minute lemon & parsley pan sauce. Scallopini refers to meat that has been pounded thin & coated with flour. You can use veal, chicken, turkey or pork loin and in about 5 minutes make scallopini with capers or porcini mushrooms or marsala or olives & tomatoes or green pepper corns, the list goes on!
Adjust it with the seasons - light & fresh in the summer with lemon & parsley or porcini mushrooms in the fall for a heartier dish. Thinly sliced veal can be bought at any market, let your butcher know what your making so they can make the proper cut.
Two to three slices of melt in your mouth veal in the pan with a little salad or roasted potatoes with rosemary can be a fabulous quick dinner any night of the week!
Veal in the Pan with Lemon
Scallopini di Vitello al Limone
Serves 4
4 slices of veal, pounded thin
pad or 2 of butter
2 tablespoons of lemon juice
olive oil
chopped parsley
2-3 tablespoons of water
salt & pepper
On medium-high heat, add a pad butter & a bit of oil to the pan.
Dredge veal in flour, shaking off the excess & add to the pan. After a minute or so, as the blood comes to the surface of the meat, it's time to turn it over. Then let it cook a minute or so on the other side & it's done. Sprinkle with salt & pepper. Set aside on a warm platter.
Turn the heat down to low. Add juice of one lemon & the water. Reduce by half. Remove pan from heat. Add in parsley & dot the pan with the remaining butter. Swirl until butter is melted and check the seasoning. Top the meat with the pan sauce. Serve immediately.


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Difference between revisions of "OJSdeStatisticsConcept"
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For a simple estimate we assume the following maximum dimension cardinality:
For a simple estimate we assume the following maximum dimension cardinality:
assocId/assocType: 3000
day: 365 * 10 = 3650
metricType: 5
loadId is not included in the calculation as we assume that there will be at most a single load ID per day which makes loadId isomorphic to the day dimension
country is not included as we do not intend to implement this dimension for the time being
We further assume completely dense data (which gives us an upper bound way above the probable data distribution).
We further assume completely dense data (which gives us an upper bound way above the probable data distribution).
Revision as of 11:08, 15 January 2013
- 1 Overview
- 2 Data extraction and storage
- 3 Log Transfer
- 4 Retrieving metrics from the Service Provider
- 5 Value Added Services
The OA-S Project
The German Open Access Statistics (OA-S) project intends to provide a framework and infrastructure that enables OJS users to establish alternative usage statistics for Open Access content and build value added services on top of such statistics.
This specification describes the use cases, requirements and implementation recommendations for the integration of OA-S into OJS.
The basic idea of OA-S can be described as a co-operation of two institutions:
- The data provider (in this case operators of OJS installations) tracks access to documents (in our case article and issue galleys, abstracts and supplementary files).
- Access data will then be made available through a protected OAI interface and harvested by the OAS service provider.
- The service provider will clean the raw data and produce aggregate metrics based on the COUNTER standard. At a later stage LocEc and IFABC statistics may also be supported.
- The data provider retrieves metrics from the service provider on a daily basis and stores them in OJS.
These metrics can then be used in different ways in OJS:
- They can be displayed to the editors, authors and readers.
- They can be used in search for ranking.
- Editors could produce statistics reports.
- We could provide a "most viewed article" feature.
- We could implement a feature that displays "other (more viewed) articles of the same author".
- We could display "similar (more viewed) articles" on an article's page.
We'll use the terms "data provider" and "service provider" from here on without further explanation. "Data provider" and "OJS user" can be used synonymously. We use the term "end user" to refer to users accessing an OJS site.
Requirements for OJS OA-S Integration
The requirements for OJS OA-S integration can be divided into four areas:
- log data extraction and storage (OJS)
- log transfer (OJS -> OA-S)
- metrics retrieval (OA-S -> OJS)
- value added services (OJS)
The requirements in these areas are...
Log data extraction and storage:
- We log usage events for access to issue and article galleys, article abstracts and supplementary files.
- Logged data must be pseudonimized immediately.
- Logged data must be deleted immediately after it has been successfully transferred to the service provider or after it expires.
Log transfer:
- Log data must be transformed into context objects.
- We then have to provide an HTTP BASIC authenticated OAI interface from which the service provider will harvest raw log data.
Metrics retrieval:
- We retrieve final metrics data from the service provider via a JSON web service.
- Metrics data will then be stored into an OLAP data model which allows us easy data access, both granular and aggregate.
Value added services:
- Display granular (per-object) metrics to the readers, authors and editors.
- Use metrics as a search ranking criteria together with the Lucene plugin.
- Define reports on OA-S metrics similarly to already existing OJS reports.
- Implement a "most viewed articles" feature.
- Implement an "another (more viewed) articles of the same author" feature.
- Implement a feature "similar (more viewed) articles".
The following sections will provide analysis and implementation recommendations for these requirement areas.
Data extraction and storage
Log Events
OA-S expects us to deliver certain usage event data. OA-S provides sample code for DSpace log extraction. The same code is also provided via SVN. We analyzed the specification as well as the sample code to define the following list of all required or optional data items. The corresponding proposed OJS/PHP data source has been included between parentheses:
- usage event timestamp (PHP's time() function +/- local time offset)
- administration section
- HTTP status code (will be always 200 in our case as we won't produce view events for non-200 responses)
- downloaded document size (difficult from PHP, we may use connection_aborted() to identify incomplete downloads and set download size = 0 in that case, otherwise download size = actual document size, this would at least emulate the original behavior a bit)
- actual document size (PKPFile::getFileSize() for galleys and supplementary files, I propose 0 in the case of article abstracts)
- document format (MIME type, PKPFile::getFileType())
- URI of the service (e.g. OJS journal URL, Config::getVar('general', 'base_url'))
- referent section
- document URL (This will be the canonical "best URL" produced by PKPRouter::url() + ...::getBest...Id() )
- optional: one or more unique document IDs (e.g. DOI, URN, etc.) (can be easily retrieved from the PubId-plugins for objects where IDs are defined)
- referring entity section
- HTTP referrer (if available, $_SERVER['HTTP_REFERER'])
- optional: additional identifiers of the referring entity (e.g. DOI, ...) if available (not implemented in OJS)
- requester section
- hashed + salted IP (PKPRequest::getRemoteAddr() + hashing)
- hashed C class (PKPRequest::getRemoteAddr() + truncation + hashing)
- hostname of the requesting entity (if available), truncated to the second level domain (recommendation: do not implemented in OJS as this would require one DNS request per view event which would be very expensive)
- optional: classification
- internal: Usage events due to internal requirements, e.g. automated integrity checks, availability checks, etc.
- administrative: Usage events that happen due to administrative decisions, e.g. for quality assurance. (proposal: use this category for accesses by logged in editors, section editors, authors, etc.)
- institutional: Usage events triggered from within the institution running the service for which usage events are being collected.
- optional: hashed session ID or session (recommendation: do not send)
- HTTP user agent (if available, use PKPRequest::getUserAgent())
- service type section (omitted, only for relevant for link resolvers)
According to OA-S information, these data items will be used for the following purposes:
- IP address and timestamp are used to recognize double downloads as defined by the COUNTER standard. Such "double clicks" will be counted as a single usage event.
- The C class of the IP address will furthermore be used to recognize robots and exclude their usage from the statistics.
- The file information (url, name, document id, url parameters, etc.) are used to uniquely identify the document which has been accessed.
- The HTTP status code will used as only successful access may be counted.
- The size of the document is used to identify full downloads (e.g. 95% of the file downloaded). Partial or aborted downloads will not be counted as usage event.
- The HTTP user agent will be used to identify robots and to remove their usage from the statistics.
- The referrer information is used to analyze how users found the service and can be used to improve the service (potential sources: search engines, organizational web portal).
To capture the required information, I recommend implementing a specialized view event hook that all statistics plug-ins can subscribe to. This allows us to better standardize OJS view events (e.g. to simulate Apache log events as much as possible) and keeps code overhead to a minimum. If an additional OJS hook should be avoided we can hook into the existing TemplateManager::display and FileManager::downloadFile hooks and filter these generic events to identify view events we are interested in.
If we implement a statistics event hook then I recommend that such a hook provide data items similar to the variables available in Apache's log component. This enables us to easily switch the statistics hook later, e.g. based on Apache logs or shared storage as has been proposed.
Privacy Protection
We assume that many OJS providers using the OA-S extension will be liable to German privacy laws. While OJS users will have to evaluated their legal situation on a per-case basis and we cannot guarantee in any way that OJS conforms to all legal requirements in individual cases, we provide basic technical infrastructure that may make it easier for OJS users to comply with German privacy law.
Legal Requirements
The OA-S project commissioned two legal case studies with respect to German privacy law: one describes the legal context of OA-S application at University Stuttgart, the other focuses more generally on OA-S users, especially project members. The first report has been done during an earlier phase of the OA-S project when privacy-enhancing measures, like the use of a SALT for IP hashing, were not yet specified. The second report is more recent. It assumes an enhanced privacy infrastructure, i.e. the use of a SALT to pseudonimize IP addresses. We therefore base our implementation recommendations on the results of the second report.
The report recommends that data providers liable to German privacy law implement the following infrastructure:
- All personal data must be pseudonymized immediately (within a few minutes) after being stored. This can be achieved by hashing IP addresses with a secret salt. The salt must have a length of at least 128 bits and must be cryptographically secure. The salt must be renewed about once a month and may not be known to the OA-S service provider. The salt will be distributed through a central agent to all data providers. A single salt can be used for all data providers if they do not share pseudonimized data. Pseudonimized data must be immediately transferred to the service provider and thereafter deleted by the data provider, i.e. every five minutes.
- Data providers have to provide the means for end users to deny data collection ("opt-out"). The cited report comes to the conclusion that an active "opt-in" of end users is not necessary if data will be reliably pseudonymized. It recommends an "opt-out" button which, if clicked, could result in a temporary cookie being set in the end user's browser. Whenever such a cookie is present, usage data may not be collected. The report recommends against setting a permanent cookie as this may now or in the future require active "opt-in" on the part of the end user. Alternatively the user's IP address could be blacklisted while using the service, i.e. entered into a table and all data from that IP would then not be stored. The blacklist entry would have to be deleted after the user session expires.
- Data providers have to inform end users about their right to opt out of data collection before they start using the service. They also have to inform the end user that opting out of the service will result in a temporary cookie being set in their browsers. This information must be available not only once when the user starts using the service but permanently, e.g. through a link.
- Data providers will have to implement further organizational measures (registration of data processing organizations, reporting data usage to end users on demand)
Salt Management Interface
As pointed out in the previous section, we'll have to salt our pseudomization hash function. Within the OA-S project, University Library Saarbrücken (SULB) provides a central SALT distribution mechanism as described in the OA-S technical manual for new repositories. SALTs will be provided on a monthly basis and have to be downloaded to OJS. SULB provides a Linux shell script (alternative unprotected link) to download SALTS. We rather recommend to download the SALT from with OJS directly to avoid the additional complexity of calling a shell script and to better support Windows users. The SALT can be downloaded from an HTTP BASIC protected location.
A new salt is usually being provided at the beginning of each month. We recommend the following algorithm for salt management to be implemented in OJS:
Whenever we receive a log event: IF the download timestamp of the current SALT is within the current month THEN use the current SALT to pseudonimize log data ELSE IF the "last download time" lies within the last fifteen minutes THEN use the current SALT ELSE authenticate to "oas.sulb.uni-saarland.de" download "salt_value.txt" set the "last download time" to the current time() value IF the downloaded SALT is different from the current SALT THEN replace the current SALT with the downloaded SALT set the timestamp of the SALT to the current time() value use the new SALT to pseudonimize log data ELSE use the current SALT
The OA-S sample application provides an algorithm for IP pseudomization based on the SALT value retrieved from SULB.
We recommend using this exact PHP function to pseudonimize IPs in OJS.
Data Storage
Statistics events have to be temporarily stored between the time they arrive and the time they're being harvested by the service provider. For intermediate data storage I recommend a plug-in specific internal database table that contains the fields mentioned in #Data Extraction above. Personal data (IP) must be stored in its pseudonimized form (see #Privacy Protection).
Due to privacy restrictions and to avoid scalability problems, we should delete log data as soon as it has been successfully transferred to the service provider. Unfortunately, OA-S has not yet specified a protocol that allows us to determine when data has been received by the service provider's server (Source: Email Julika 30.10.2012). OA-S uses the OAI protocol to harvest statistics data. This protocol does not support success/failure messages by itself. Harvesters usually retry access when there was a communications failure. Although access to the OAI interface is authenticated, this means that we cannot delete data whenever we receive an OAI request. We rather have to define a fixed maximum time that log data may be kept in the log and then delete it, independently of its transfer status.
We therefore recommend to save log data indexed by its time stamp. Whenever we manipulate the log table (i.e. when receiving a log event) we'll automatically delete all expired log data.
As the log expiry time will be relatively low, we do not see the necessity to rotate the log table or otherwise improve scalability.
Log Transfer
NB: The specification and implementation of log transfer are not part of the project phase OA-S I. We collect unstructured material for use in later project phases.
Transformation into Context Objects
OAI interface
- OA-S provides a validator service for the data provider OAI interface.
- We use HTTP Basic authentication to protect the OAI end point (see email Julika, 31.10.2012)
- A protocol to confirm successful reception of raw data has not yet been implemented (see email Julika, 31.10.2012)
Retrieving metrics from the Service Provider
NB: The specification and implementation of the OA-S statistics retrieval interface are not part of the project phase OA-S I. We collect unstructured material for use in later project phases.
The JSON retrieved from OA-S looks something like this:
{ "from": "2012-10-01", "to": "2012-10-30", "entrydef": ["identifier", "date", "counter", "LogEc", "IFABC", "RobotsCounter", "RobotsLogEc", "RobotsIFABC"], "entries": [ {"identifier": "oai:DeinDienst.de:00001", "date": "2012-10-10", "counter": 0, "LogEc": 0, "IFABC": 1, "RobotsCounter": 0, "RobotsLogEc": 0, "RobotsIFABC": 0}, {"identifier": "oai:DeinDienst.de:00037", "date": "2012-10-11", "counter": 0, "LogEc": 0, "IFABC": 1, "RobotsCounter": 0, "RobotsLogEc": 0, "RobotsIFABC": 0}, ... }
Source: Email Julika, 31.10.2012
Value Added Services
NB: The specification and implementation of the OA-S value added services are not part of the project phase OA-S I. We collect unstructured material for use in later project phases with exception of the common API for value added services which must be fully specified now for timeline synchronization with other project members and to clearly specify data requirements on our part.
Common API for Value Added Services
Some of the use cases for value added services require us to integrate various usage statistics in the same place (e.g. OAS, COUNTER/OJS, ALM). Examples of this would be:
- display of all article-specific metrics to end readers on the article abstract page
- selection of a metric for search ranking
- cross-metric reports for OJS editors.
To implement such use cases, we need an implementation-agnostic cross-plugin API that allows us to treat statistics from various sources conformly. Thus I recommend two additions to core OJS:
- A specialized plug-in API similar to the API for public identifiers to be implemented by all ReportPlugin classes.
- A multi-dimensional online analytical processing (OLAP) database table for metric storage.
The following two sections will describe our recommendations for these additions in more detail.
Plug-In API
The proposed metrics API allows granular access to any number of metrics provided by different plug-ins. If there are several metric types, we have to define a site- or journal-specific primary metric type which will then be used where a single "most important" metric is required (e.g. for search ranking). We propose that such a selection is done in the site or journal settings by the journal manager or OJS admin respectively.
I propose a change to the ReportPlugin base class. Similarly to PubIdPlugin, this class could serve as a plug-in agnostic metric provider:
- Statistics plug-ins (e.g. COUNTER, OA-S, ALM) should provide a ReportPlugin.
- If a plug-in needs hooks (e.g. to track usage events) it should be nested in a GenericPlugin.
We recommend the following specific API for ReportPlugin:
- getMetric($metricType, $pubObject, ...optional filter...)
- getMetrics($pubObject, ...optional filter...)
- getMetricTypes()
- getMetricDisplayType($metricType)
- getMetricFullName($metricType)
- These methods should return NULL in case of plug-ins that do not wish to provide metrics, e.g. the current articles, reviews and subscriptions reports
- filter criteria could be specified for any of the metric dimensions defined in the metrics table (see next section)
Furthermore we recommend the following specific API for publication objects (issue and article galleys, articles, supplementary files).
- getMetric($metricType = null, ...optional filter criteria...) to return a single metric for the given publication object
- getMetrics(...optional filter criteria...) to return an array with all metrics for the given publication object
- These methods return NULL in case metrics are not defined for the given object or filter.
- Article/ArticleGalley/IssueGalley/SuppFile::getViews() would be renamed to ...::getMetric() with the above signature throughout OJS.
- If no $metricType is given for getMetric() then the main/primary metric type will be used.
- This API can be extended to issues and journals for aggregate metrics retrieval.
Plugins can internally decide whether to actually retrieve metrics from the MetricsDAO (see next paragraph) or whether to retrieve metrics from an external location (e.g. a web service). The proposed API is NOT meant for aggregate data access as required by reporting. Such requirements should be done via the MetricsDAO which will be described next.
Metrics Table
It is entirely possible to specify a common data model for aggregate metrics storage in OJS as OJS front-end statistics use cases are common to all statistics plug-ins. We therefore recommend to consolidate the current plug-in specific metrics stores into a single metrics table.
While saving on development time and complexity, such a table is crucial to implement cross-metrics reporting, too. Among other front-end use cases, such a table would enable us to replace plug-in specific reports with a simple report generator for all metrics. It would also help us to implement requirements as "time-based reporting" in a simple and efficient way across all metrics plugins.
Having local aggregate metrics data is necessary to provide speedy reports. I do not believe that building cross-metric aggregate reports based on on-the-fly access to a remote web service can be done with acceptable response times. Metrics not stored to the metrics table would therefore not be available for standard OJS reporting. Plugins like ALM that choose to implement a plug-in specific metrics storage or wish to retrieve metrics from a web service on the fly will have to provide their own reporting infrastructure and could not use the default report generator.
Conceptually, the proposed table represents a multi-dimensional OLAP cube. It allows both, granular (drill down) and aggregate (dice and slice), access to metrics data.
The proposed cube has the following properties...
- publication object (represented by assocId + assocType)
- time (day)
- metric ("COUNTER", "OA-S", "ALM-Facebook", ...)
Aggregation hierarchies over these dimensions:
- publication object: assocType
- publication object: author
- publication object: article -> issue -> journal (as aggregation hierarchy, not the objects themselves)
- time: month -> year
Additional dimensions may have to be defined to cater to special administrative or front-end use cases, such as
- geography: Where did the usage events originate from?
- source file: This enables us to implement a scalable file based, restartable load process. Details of such a process are not in scope of this document.
- ...
- Facts would be represented as a single integer or float data type dimensioned as just outlined.
- Dimensions should be modeled additively so that we can use them in reports that "slice" and "dice" the conceptual data cube. This excludes "from-to" notation for the date.
- Monthly data that is not available on a daily basis can be modeled additively in such a table by leaving the day-aggregation level empty.
This is pretty much a standard OLAP design and should therefore serve all aggregate data needs that may come up in reports or elsewhere.
While the conceptual level seems rather complicated, we can implement such a conceptual model with a single additional table in core OJS as all dimension tables either already exist in the database or could be implemented "virtually" by on-the-fly aggregation, e.g. for the date hierarchy.
We therefore propose a single new database table 'metrics' with the following columns:
- assocId: foreign key to article, article or issue galley, supplementary file
- assocType: determining the type of the assoc id (article, article or issue galley, supplementary file)
- day: the lowest aggregate level of the time dimension
- month (optional): required only if we want to support month-only aggregation, either because some metrics cannot be provided on a daily basis or to compress historical data
- metricType: e.g. "OA-S-Counter", "OJS-Counter", "ALM-Facebook", etc.
- loadId (optional): a plug-in specific load identifier used to implement a restartable and scalable load process, e.g. a file name, file id or run id
- country (optional): the lowest aggregate level of the source geography dimension
- metric: an integer or float column that represents the aggregate metric
The dimension columns (all except 'metric') should have a multi-column unique index placed on them to enforce data consistency.
The number of data items in the proposed table will be considerably less than what we currently need to store raw event data. I therefore do not believe that such a table will reach the underlying database's scalability limit. If such a thing would happen we could still purge old metric data or reduce the granularity of historic data (e.g. from per-day to per-month).
For a simple estimate we assume the following maximum dimension cardinality:
- assocId/assocType: 3000
- day: 365 * 10 = 3650
- metricType: 5
- loadId is not included in the calculation as we assume that there will be at most a single load ID per day which makes loadId isomorphic to the day dimension
- country is not included as we do not intend to implement this dimension for the time being
We further assume completely dense data (which gives us an upper bound way above the probable data distribution).
Under these pessimistic assumptions we get a maximum of 3000 * 3650 * 5 = 54.75 * 10^6 rows which is comfortably within the range supported by current MySQL versions and probably way above what even large OJS installations will ever encounter. Compressing historical data per day will provide a theoretical compression ratio of 12:365 (about 96%) for completely dense data. In practice compression will be lower but still very considerable with non-dense data.
Access to the metrics table would be mediated through a MetricDAO. The MetricDAO should provide methods to insert/update metrics and to administer scalable load processes. The MetricDAO should not used for granular metrics access except for accesses from statistics plugins that will route data through their getMetric()-API. This allows us to support common front-end features with granular metric access for plug-ins like ALM even if those do not support access through the MetricDAO.
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Labradoodle Puppy For Sale in KATY, TX, USA
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Labradoodle Puppy For Sale in KATY, TX, USA
Photos update 01/17!! We have 4 remaining adorable cream, male labradoodles (from 10!)that will be ready for their new homes on January 31! ❤ These are standard size and will likely weigh between 60 and 75 pounds. They will be up to date on vaccinations, will have been wormed several times, and will have a one year health guarantee against genetic health defects. These boys are already showing the sweetest and most inquisitive personalities. They look so much alike, but there are little differences in them that aren't well represented in picture and video. With the weekend coming, they will be reserved quickly so please contact us so that you can come visit, and play with them a while! Asking $1200.Please feel free to text or call with all of your questions 979-201-6891 (email is not the quickest way) and we can share some video as well!
|Labrador Retriever
|Poodle (Standard)
|The Labradoodle is a mix between the Labrador Retriever and the Poodle. Both breeds are excellent for children and families. The Labradoodle became known in 1988, when Australian breeder Wally Conron crossed the Labrador Retriever and Standard Poodle at the Royal Guide Dogs Associations of Australia in Victoria. Conron's aim was to combine the low-shedding coat of the Poodle with the gentleness and trainability of the Labrador, and to provide a guide dog suitable for people with allergies to fur and dander. Sultan, a dog from this litter, displayed all the qualities Conron was seeking and worked as a guide dog for a woman in Hawaii for ten years. Although Guide Dogs Victoria no longer breed Labradoodles, they are bred by other guide and assistance dog organizations in Australia and other places. The Association for the Blind of Western Australia has introduced Labradoodles into their training program, and their first, Jonnie, graduated in November 2010. Labradoodles are now widely used around the world as guide, assistance, and therapy dogs as well as being popular family dogs. The Norwegian Royal Crown Prince and Princess own a Labradoodle.
|Breed Group:
|Weight (lbs):
|Height (in):
|white, black, yellow, chocolate
|The coat is curly and thick.
|Labradoodles are loving, affectionate and intelligent.
|Labradoodles get along very well with children and other pets.
|The coat needs to be combed daily. Bathe as needed. A trim may be needed a few times each year.
|Labradoodles respond well to gentle training.
|This breed needs moderate exercise.
|Country of Origin:
|Health Issue:
|Labradoodles can suffer from problems common to their parent breeds. Poodles and Labrador Retrievers can suffer from hip dysplasia, and should have specialist radiography to check for this problem before breeding. The parent breeds can also suffer from a number of eye disorders, and an examination by a qualified veterinary eye specialist should be performed on breeding dogs. Labradoodles have been known to suffer from progressive retinal atrophy (PRA), an inherited disease causing blindness, which occurs in both Miniature Poodles and Cocker Spaniels. It is recommended that Australian Labradoodles be DNA tested for PRA before being bred. One study has found that UK Labradoodles have a higher incidence (4.6%) of multifocal retinal dysplasia (MRA) compared to Labrador Retrievers. Cataract is common as well (3.7%) but prevalence is comparable to that of Labradors.[17] There is evidence of some occurrence of Addison's disease in the Australian Labradoodle. The Australian Labradoodle Association of America is currently conducting a study to try to determine how widespread the problem has become.
|Life Expectancy:
More About Labradoodle Breed
Here are some recommendations:
- If possible meet in-person, or at least arrange a video conferencing session.
- Get recommendations and reviews.
- Search the internet for business name or email (see if there is any information you can dig up).
- Use services like Paypal Verified or Google Wallet or any other verified digital payment method, where you might have any kind of recourse or purchase guarantee.
Before getting a new puppy, make sure you are prepared to share your life with a new family member for the next 15 or more years! Owning a dog is a big responsibility!
Questions You Should Ask the Breeder
1. Are the puppies' parents "certified"? This means that certain breeds are often at risk for genetic conditions such as hip problems, heart problems and eye problems. Most of these diseases are inherited, meaning the disease is passed from parent to puppy. Many breeders will have their dogs evaluated and tested for that disease and ultimately "certified" by a veterinary specialist to be disease-free.
2. What are the sizes of the puppy's parents? Know how big the parents are, to get a good idea of how big your puppy will be. Is that the size dog you want?
3. Ask to meet the dogs parents. If possible, meet the puppy's parents. Notice if they appear to be in good health and evaluate their overall temperament. Are they shy, aggressive, or well adjusted?
4. How have they socialized the pups? Have the pups been around other dogs? Other people? Socialization is critical in puppies 6 – 16 weeks old. Proper socialization consisting of good experiences of a puppy with other puppies and lots of different ages, sizes and types of people will give you the best chance at having a well-adjusted dog.
5. What vaccines has the puppy had? How many shots has he received and when will the puppy be due for his next puppy shot?
6. Have the puppies been dewormed? All puppies are born with worms and routine deworming is recommended.
7. Have any of the puppies in the litter been sick? If so, what were the signs, the diagnosis and treatment?
8. What visits has the puppies had with the veterinarian? Have they been examined and declared "healthy"? If not, what problems have they had? Have they been on any medications?
9. What is their guarantee? What guarantee does the breeder give with their puppies? If the puppy is found to have a severe illness, what will they do? This is a difficult topic but one that is a lot easier to cover up front rather than later.
10. Recommendations? Ask the breeder for a couple references of puppy owners that they have sold within the past year. CALL them. Find out if the breeder was fair, if they were happy with their pups, and how any problems were handled.
11. Breeders contract? Does your breeder require a breeder's contract? If so, what is in it? Is the breeder willing to take back the puppy at any time, if you can't keep it?
12. Limited registration. Some breeders require that you spay or neuter your dog by a certain age. If that is the case, that may not be a problem but it is best to know before you get your puppy.
13. What is the family history? Ask if the breeder has information about the breed line. For example, ask how long the dogs have lived and what they have died from. Write it down. This may be important for monitoring your pet as he gets older.
14. What is the breeder currently feeding the puppy? Regardless of what they are feeding, it is ideal to continue feeding the same food for the first few days at home to minimize the risk of gastrointestinal disturbances. If you choose to change the diet, do it gradually.
15. Health certificate and certificate of sale. Ask the breeder if he will supply a health certificate for the puppy issued by his veterinarian. Some states require also a certificate of sale.
16. Does the breeder belong to a breed club? Ask for references.
Get your questions answered and feel very comfortable with your new puppy.
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Puppyfinder.com is secure, simple and efficient way to find a puppy, sell a puppy or addopt dogs via internet. Our tools such as Breed Selector future puppy owners with the weath of needed information to make the right choice when buying a puppy.
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text: Pro-Arte 1/8 Violin G - silver/perlon, Medium Catalog ID: STVNPRO54_1SIB Pro-Arte synthetic core violin strings have a warm, mellow tone. They are less sensitive to humidity and temperature changes, and break in quickly. Pro-Arte strings are manufactured at a lower tension in order to maximize bow response, tonal blend and playability.Scaled to fit 1/8 size violin with a playing length of 9 1/2 inches (241mm), these medium tension strings are optimized to the needs of a majority of players. Brand: Pro-Arte String: G String Size: 1/8 Winding Material: Silver Core Material: Synthetic Gauge: Medium String End: Ball In Stock List Price: $21.25 $9.56 Wish List Buy Continue Shopping


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Urban Fantasist
Tales of Geek, Music, Media, Urban Myths, Folklore & the Weird by Charles Christian
includes Weird Tales Radio Show podcast
One the Tenth Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me: Ten Corpses Swinging from a Hanging Tree, Nine Keys to the Nine Gates of Hell, Eight Virgin Maids for Sacrificing*, Seven Deadly Sins, Six Hands of Glory, Five Golden Pentacles, Four Dragon's Eggs, Three Unicorn Horns, Two Copies of the Necronomicon, And a Cockatrice in a Pear Tree...
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This is Urban Fantasist
Barrister and Reuters correspondent turned writer, award-winning tech journalist, radio presenter, podcaster, blogger, storyteller, and sometime werewolf-hunter Charles Christian is here to inform and entertain you with tales of writing, radio, geek, tech, media, music, urban myths, folklore, the weird and anything else that intrigues him. The site also has links to all Charles Christian's books including fiction, nonfiction, and the latest reviews. Plus links to his weekly Weird Tales and Smart Radio shows.
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In Episode 51 of the Weird Tales Radio Show podcast Janie explores saucy (and in some instances just plain weird) St Valentine rhymes from olden times. We also have a roundup of paranormal news in brief. And we explore the legend that is Pablo Fanque - a 19th century circus superstar and inspiration to The Beatles.
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Aussies 'positive' about coalition: Abbott
Opposition Leader Tony Abbott says Australians are feeling positive towards the coalition in the run-up to this year's federal election, as a new poll shows Labor is heading for a devastating loss.
The poll of 54 marginal seats points to a two-party preferred swing against the ALP of 4.8 per cent if an election were held now - translating into a loss of 18 seats to the Liberal-National coalition.
"The feeling on the street is very positive towards the coalition," Mr Abbott told reporters in Melbourne on Tuesday.
"Australians are looking to the coalition to provide them with a better government, and I'm confident that's precisely what we can do."
Prime Minister Julia Gillard declined to comment on the poll after tossing the coin for the start of the Prime Minister's XI cricket match in Canberra.
"Given the nature of the day people are facing around the nation, that's all the comment there is from me," she told reporters.
But Labor parliamentary secretary Mike Kelly, who holds the marginal NSW electorate of Eden-Monaro - a bellwether federal seat - said it would be tough and much depended on how voters compared policies.
"This is an issue that will pan out through the course of the year," Mr Kelly said.
The poll of 3350 people, conducted by JWS Research for financial consultancy group ECG Advisory Solutions, also found Labor could pick up six seats in Queensland due to a backlash against government cutbacks.
But it would lose 10 in NSW, including Kingsford Smith held by Schools Minister Peter Garrett and Lindsay held by Assistant Treasurer David Bradbury.
JWS researcher John Scales said the fallout from the NSW Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) examination of allegations against former ALP powerbrokers was damaging Labor's prospects.
"I think the electorate is a bit more ready to change government these days than it has in the past," he told ABC radio.
Meanwhile, the coalition continued to press the government on Tuesday to release the updated budget estimates which prompted it in December to ditch its promised 2012/13 surplus, two months after saying a surplus was achievable.
"Give us the Treasury figures. Then we'll be in a position to produce ours," Mr Abbott said.
The coalition has said it can deliver a surplus in each year of its first term in government, based on the most recent government figures released in the budget update in October.
Mr Abbott also restated his promise to scrap Labor's carbon tax after a survey published by Australian Industry Group found businesses estimated their energy costs had rise by 14.5 per cent on average since it came in last year.


text:
CENTER VALLEY, Pa. -- CHANCE (Connecting Humans and Nature through Conservation Experiences), has been chosen to receive the Pennsylvania Association of Environmental Educators 2012 Outstanding Environmental Education Program award. The award, which recognizes an exemplary environmental education program which could be used as a model, will be presented at the PAEE annual conference to be held March 16-17 at the Raystown Lake Resort and Conference Center in Entriken, Pa.
In 2004, a partnership between Penn State and the Pennsylvania Department of Education began bringing real-world conservation and environmental sustainability research into the hands of K-12 teachers across the state with the CHANCE program. Since then, CHANCE has grown exponentially in its mission and now includes opportunities for teachers outside the Commonwealth as well as Penn State undergraduates.
Through national and international field courses and online curricular tools, participants engage in inquiry-based research opportunities and conservation efforts that allow them to better understand global environmental issues. Participants also gain the awareness, knowledge, and skills needed for a more sophisticated comprehension of the causes, connections, and consequences of global environmental destruction.
The CHANCE program is directed by Jacqueline McLaughlin, associate professor of biology at Penn State Lehigh Valley. For more information, visit www.chance.psu.edu online.


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WOUND-MAGIC is very good for minor cuts, burns and skin abrasions. It has also been used (externally) for hemorrhoids, with excellent results. One aspect of the magic of sorcerers of log-gone ages was to mix herbs that worked wonders on wounds. Their experience taught them that yarrow and chickweed were healing herbs that also made the skin softer. Villimey, the marvelous power of nature. The ointments from Villimey are 100% natural product, with international organic certification, and free of all added preservatives, fragrance and color. It is made from specially selected Icelandic herbs which are hand-picked in the untainted nature of the West Fjords when they are at their peak quality.
35 ml