text:
Why has the concern of women…getting Big and Bulky from weight training…been largely ignored by trainers?
Women are told…"You don't have to worry about putting on as much muscle as a man and bulking up, because you have much less testosterone than a man."
So why do I hear these complaints from women on a regular basis?
-OR- maybe they should get used to having a little more muscle than what they want.
After all , their personal trainer tells them that fit women should look muscular.
I can show you exactly how to get in tremendous shape, look and feel better than ever, without adding excess muscle. Over the past 10 years, I've mastered the technique of "slightly increasing muscle tone" to a body part while "decreasing the size" of that same body part.
Who the heck am I and why would you want to listen to me -vs- the typical fitness info?
If I was in your position I'd be thinking the same thing right about now…
My Name is Rusty Moore: I've been a fitness author the past few years as well as a devoted gym member for 24+ years.
Unfortunately after 12 years of training, I looked a bit like a "gym guy". Although I wasn't as big as a pro bodybuilder, it was blatantly obvious that I trained all the time.
My legs became so big that I could only fit into over-sized baggy jeans and I was no longer able to fit into nice dress pants.
I never had the intentions of looking like a typical overly-muscular and bulky "Gym Guy".
I wanted to have a decent amount of muscle while still being able to look "GQ". At around that same time (in 1999), I saw the movie Fight Club. I was impressed by how Brad Pitt was in outstanding shape, while still being able to look hip and stylish in his regular clothes.
It took me from 1999-2001 to get the look I desired.
In roughly a year and a half I accomplished the goal of leaning down. It took me a long time, because there wasn't any mainstream literature on losing muscle mass on purpose. From 2001 going forward I perfected the technique of getting lean without adding excessive size. Guys were coming up to me on a regular basis and asking for workout advice. I would do my best to explain the concepts, but it was hard to do in a simple 10 minute conversation.
Their thoughts…"who in their right mind wouldn't want to get as big as possible?"
I knew for a fact that there was a LARGE group of men and women who wanted to get lean without having the physique of a typical "gym person"…but I was NOT ready for how big the demand was for this information!
It hit over 3 million visitors in its 2nd full year and pushing into the 5 million visitor per year range, this year. This was not due to me simply writing articles about my methods…
(I just happened to be the first person to get the ball rolling on this sizzling-hot topic.)
This site has become a massive entity & mastermind about the lean Hollywood Look.
It has grown WAY beyond what I have contributed. Information pours in at a fast rate…Last time I checked, the blog has received 20,000+ comments (all of them manually approved by me).
I believe that this blog has become the largest resource online devoted to this topic.
(Again…this isn't about what I have done…I just got things started.)
Scattered over the 300+ posts, 20,000+ comments, and 4 years of conversations I've had with the top minds in the industry…is a massive amount of cutting-edge information. In 4 years, I have absorbed an almost unreal amount of information about getting a lean and sleek physique.
So after 4 years running the #1 resource online for getting the lean Hollywood Look
…I wanted to take all of the cutting-edge information and collective knowledge gathered by this large mastermind group…and compile and it into the ultimate workout routine for women.
Although I lay out detailed workout routines that you can follow to the "T"…my goal is to teach you how to analyze and adapt your routine as your body changes.
I Actually Encourage You to Change and Personalize These Routines!
This isn't just about blindly following the routines in this manual. I want to help you become your own ultimate personal trainer. Once you understand how everything fits together, you will be able to tweak these routines to perfection. This manual is meant to empower you.
These workouts can be done in a gym setting…or your can Train from Home.
I have designed the Home Workout Routines to be done 100% with 1 set of Adjustable Dumbbells + 1 Adjustable Bench. This is all you need for a complete home gym.
The Gym Routines will make use of more pieces of equipment.
If you do have a gym membership, the sky is the limit on equipment. I give you exercise "suggestions"…but you can make use of whatever extravagant equipment your gym offers!
A Commercial Gym will also give you much more options in the way of cardio equipment.
I do have several suggestions of how to do cardio outside, but it is hard to beat the selection of cardio machines that a commercial gym offers. If money isn't an issue, a treadmill for the home is money well-spent.
And to make sure you become a Cardio Ninja Master…
There's a reason that the actresses in Hollywood use cardio to get ready for Movie roles.
Cardio is one of the few things that can be increased to a large degree. Cardio is the only variable in the weight loss equation that you can increase when everything else is "maxed out".
When preparing for movie roles, actors and actresses have been known to use 2-3 hour sessions of cardio each day to get lean in a hurry <—However I'm NOT saying that is ideal!
There shouldn't be any reason to do hours of cardio each day. This is why cardio is criticized so hard by the fitness industry right now. "Traditional Cardio" takes up a lot of time! The approach I teach you is much more effective than traditional cardio.
Since I encourage using a variety of exercises, I felt the need to include this ebook.
This the same ebook that I created for my men's course, Visual Impact Muscle Building. It is a monster ebook that will give you a bunch of ideas on different ways you can work each body part.
This ebook also has "Clickable Navigation"
So you don't have to scroll through hundreds of pages…it has a way for you to quickly navigate from the front page, to exercise selections broken down by body part. It also has the workout routines broken down by exercise and you simply click on the particular exercise you want to research.
Bottom line…this is a very user-friendly and useful resource!
This is simple a "no-frills" printable workout book.
Each individual workout routine is listed on its own dedicated page. This way you will simply need to print out one page at a time (to save ink and paper). This one is keep minimalistic on purpose.
After a short time, you will memorize each workout routine.
The idea is to internalize exactly what you need to do and memorize your workouts. My best guess is that you will only need to bring this chart with you the first 2-3 weeks after starting your new workout routine.
I was contemplating charging $77 because this course wound up being significantly larger than my men's course…but I didn't think it would be fair to charge more for the women's course.
I decided on ONE single payment of $47.
This is slightly less than $50…which happens to be a typical rate for the average personal trainer.
I did this on purpose, because Visual Impact for Women…was formed on the collective knowledge of hundreds…if not thousands of people.
What you gain here "SMOKES" – 1 hour spent with even the best personal trainer!
I am NOT saying that to be mean or put down personal trainers AT ALL…Heck, it would take me at least 3-4 hours to teach you all of these principles in person and I live and breath this info.
This course was a long-time in the making & I'm Super-Proud of how it turned out.
…and I honestly think you will Dig It!
Click The Add to Cart Button below to place your secure order.
I also understand that for this one low price of $47, I will get
LIFETIME free upgrades. Every time a new version of this
course comes out, I will get the newest version free of charge.
AND I understand that this investment is backed by a no quibble,
no questions asked 60 guarantee…if I don't feel I have received
true value and am well on the way to making dramatic
improvements in my physique, I will receive all my money back.
On that basis I'm ready to begin my training by clicking the
'Add To Cart' button below…
Note: This is a downloadable program. You will NOT receive a physical package shipped to you in the mail. The entire package will be immediately available for you to download and get started right away after ordering. This program is NOT available in stores, so you can only access it through this website.
Here's to getting a slim, fit and feminine physique!


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Johnny Weir Defends NBC Olympics Gig, Will "Respect Culture" Of Russia
The recently retired Johnny Weir has found himself defending his new job, corresponding for NBC Sports during the Sochi Winter Olympic Games, in an interview with the New York Times.
He explains:
"I risk jail time just going there, but the Olympics are not the place to make a political statement. I'm not a politician and I don't really talk about politics. You don't have to agree with the politics, but you have to respect the culture of a country you are visiting."
"It's pretty obvious that I've been gay my whole life. I don't need to break any laws or wear a rainbow pin to show people that I support gay rights. I think I'll do that just by being in Sochi and supporting our people there and know they are not alone."
"The gay community has not reacted well to me because some people think it's my responsibility to be an activist. They're expecting me to hate Russia because I haven't been given equal rights in Russia."
"If it's good enough for Elton John, it's good enough for me. Every country's going to have its issues."
What do you think of Johnny's defense of supporting Russia?
By taking the passive stand shows in fact he is taking a stand. Does he think we're gullible or stupid or both? As gay men, both he and Thomas S. Roberts are such sell-outs. Am glad they are soundly being criticized in the larger gay community for being pawns by the Russian government (and Donald Trump and NBC). Hope their paychecks are ample enough. We out here won't forget the choices they make.
Kind of a vapid statement. Why does Russian "culture" have to include homophobia, (as he seems to be implying)? Why the false parallel between making a statement against recent homophobic laws, and "hating Russia"? He says he doesn't want to make a political statement, then goes on to say that his being in Russia will support "our people," (presumably LGBT athletes, or LGBT Russians). Honey, being openly gay IS a political statement. Suffice to say, I don't totally disagree with him on that point, (it's why I somewhat supported Elton's decision to go there, and lauded Cher's decision not to), but would have appreciated a more intelligent statement.
It takes a great person (or an egocentric jerk with his own agenda, and bank-account) to show respect for somebody (in this case Russia) who doesn't show any respect at all towards this person in return. But it takes a COWARD not to stand up for other people that are shown disrespect just by being who they are.

subset: commoncrawl


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Greater Poland
Greater Poland (in Polish Wielkopolska) is a lake district in west-central Poland in the Voivodship (province) Wielkopolskie Voivodship.
Get in
By plane
The main (and in terms of passenger traffic) airport in the region is Poznan airport Lawica, situated very close (7 km {4 mi}) from the city centre, offering connections to more than 20 destinations across Europe, including e.g.: London, Frankfurt, Munich, Dublin, Paris, Rome, Amsterdam, Stockholm, Malmo, Copenhagen, Barcelona, Edinburgh. If your region is not connected by plane with Poznan, you can try other airports in surrounding Polish regions: to Wroclaw (Breslau), Bydgoszcz or even Warsaw, which has very good train connection with Poznan. Up-to-date flight schedule [1] at Poznan Lawica Airport.
By train
Region has very good connections with most other polish regions as well as some cities abroad. Its main (what doesn't mean, that's the only one) rail junction is Poznan, offering many inter-city and international connections:
Get around
By train
Trains are the basic mean of transport in the region. The main i and the most important junction is of course Poznan, but regional centres : Leszno, Ostrów Wielkopolski and Pila offer as well many good connections. The most important line in the region is the one from Warsaw via Konin, Wrzesnia, Poznan toward the western border and further to Berlin. Other lines playing great role in the transport system are :
The network of main lines is supplemented by local ones with several connections daily :
Several trains on the routes from Wolsztyn to Poznan (departures from Wolsztyn appr. 5:30 and appr. 11:30, and from Poznan appr. 9:30 and 15:30) and from Wolsztyn to Leszno (departure from Wolsztyn appr. 6:00, back from Leszno appr. 15:30) are served - as the only ones in Poland - by steam locomotives. (Departures are given "appr." because of frequent timetable changes, which are the result of many track-works, especially in the Poznan juction).
It's essential to mention as well about narrow-gauged railways - some of them are used only for weekend and tourist traffic, but in the region we have the first independent from the nationl carrier (PKP) and private line : 23-km section from Stare Bojanowo (on the Poznan-Wrocław line) via Smigiel to Wielichowo. Every day more than 10 trains run on the route. Timetable : [2] (the carrier's - SKPL's - trains run as well on the other lines in the region : see below). As well narrow-gauged trains run on the following routes :


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Distance from Mount Union, IA to Cadet, MO
Driving distance between Mount Union, IA and Cadet, MO is 271.64 miles (or 437.17 kilometers). If you drove an average car (using about 3.6 gallons of gas per mile), the gas would cost you around $, since you would need about gallons of fuel.
Leaving from Mount Union, IA you would reach Cadet, MO in about 5 hours 2 mins if you keep an average speed of miles per hour, assuming you don't make any breaks or get stuck in traffic.


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By Kris Rodriguez
Public Affairs Specialist
(March 26, 2008)--Miguel Jose Yacaman, a world-renowned authority in the field of nanotechnology, has joined The University of Texas at San Antonio (UTSA) to chair the Department of Physics and Astronomy in the College of Sciences. Yacaman joins UTSA after serving seven years at The University of Texas at Austin.
An author of four patents at the University of Mexico and UT-Austin, Yacaman received over the last six years more than $8.1 million in grant funding for nanotechnology research. He also has been cited more than 3,500 times and has more than 330 review papers or book chapters authored among scientific literature.
"Dr. Yacaman joining our faculty leadership team is terrific news for UTSA students and the San Antonio scientific community," said UTSA Provost John Frederick. "Under his leadership, UTSA is one step closer to reaching our goal of becoming a Top 100 premier research university."
Yacaman has trained more than 50 post-doctoral, doctoral and master's degree students in his laboratories who have gone on to become leaders in some of the nation's top scientific and engineering companies.
"I am very excited to be joining UTSA and will continue my efforts to try and connect with as many Hispanic students as possible," said Yacaman. "I strongly believe that the future of this part of the nation is strongly correlated to the education of the Hispanic population."
Before serving at UT-Austin, Yacaman directed the National Institute of Nuclear Research and was deputy director for scientific research at Mexico's National Council for Science and Technology (CONACYT). In addition to his role as an educator, Yacaman also was a consultant for the Mexican Petroleum Institute, Pemex Oil Company, General Motors Research Labs and Exxon Research Corporate Labs.
"I would like to lead the department to strive for excellence in research and teaching at both the undergraduate and graduate levels," said Yacaman. "I would also like the department to take advantage of programs aimed at supporting minority-serving institutions and fostering more collaborations with researchers in Latin America."
Yacaman's awards include the Profesor Distinguido Universidad Autonoma de Nuevo Leon (2003), CONACYT Investigador Nacion de Excelencia (2002), the National Prize of Science in Mexico (1992) and a Guggenheim Fellowship (1988).
He serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Nanostructured Materials, Catalysis Letters and Microscopy and Microanalysis and is the associate editor of Scripta Metallurgica and Acta Metallurgica, Microscopy Research and Techniques and Revista Iberoamericana of Materials.
Yacaman received a bachelor's and master's of science degrees in physics and a doctorate in material science from the National University of Mexico in Mexico City. He received postdoctoral experience at the University of Oxford's Department of Metallurgy and Materials Science and as a research associate in the materials science branch at the NASA Ames Research Center in Moffet Field, Calif.
Serving more than 5,000 students enrolled in nine undergraduate degree programs and 15 graduate programs, the UTSA College of Sciences is uniquely poised to prepare the next generation of scientists for careers in business, technology and academia. The college houses six departments: biology, chemistry, computer science, geological sciences, mathematics, and physics and astronomy.


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By Matthew Heimer
The event didn't develop into the robot-versus-robot demolition derby showdown that I secretly hoped it might. But Audi and Toyota did debut their respective takes on "autonomous driving" technology this week at the Consumer Electronics Show.
The automakers insist they're not aiming for full-control, we'll-take-over-while-you-nap-in-the-driver's-seat technology. Instead, they're deploying a wider arrange of sensors designed to react to lane lines, traffic signals and other vehicles in ways that should help drivers in general, and older drivers in particular, avoid collisions.
Toyota went first, featuring a hopped-up Lexus with sensors designed to expand the car's ability to recognize potential hazards. Among its features, according to Ian Sherr and Mike Ramsey of the Wall Street Journal: "Some sensors will be able to see further than the human eye can see… potentially allowing the car to react to obstacles before its driver even recognizes them." But Audi appears to have won the week's wow-factor contest: It unveiled a car that was able to park itself and drive short distances at low speeds in response to commands from smartphone app, without anyone in the driver's seat at all. The automaker said its sensors could also effectively pilot a car through gridlock traffic, by aligning the car with other vehicles in a kind of stop-and-go lockstep. ABC News has a charmingly low-budget video showing the self-parking Audi in action; the crashing noises at around the 1:00 and 1:15 marks are apparently NOT the sound of the robotic sedan hitting other parked cars.


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Senior reporter John Flowers makes a weekly Tuesday radio appearance on Morning News Service, a program on Waterbury-based WDEV, 96.1 FM. He wraps up recent Addison County news for listeners across Vermont.
This week he chats about census data, Middlebury and Weybridge's upcoming 250th birthday celebrations and the new Route 30 bike path.
October 11, 2011
Audio courtesy WDEV Radio


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Except for the youngest and most naive among them, fans of pro wrestling understand that the outcomes of the matches they watch are predetermined. They've also grown accustomed to people referencing this fact in a somewhat snide, derogatory fashion if it helps prove a point.
With this in mind, there was no surprise or outrage from the wrestling world last week when Tony Stewart, one of NASCAR's top drivers, made some angry comments suggesting officials in his sport might be borrowing some ideas from sports entertainment. Specifically, he accused the powers that be of throwing phantom caution flags for debris in order to bunch the field back together, essentially "scripting" the ends of the races.
"I guess NASCAR thinks, 'Hey, wrestling worked, and it was for the most part staged, so I guess it's going to work in racing too,'" Stewart said on a radio show last week. "I don't know that they've run a fair race all year."
After Stewart received the racing equivalent of getting called to the principal's office, he backed off his conspiracy theory a few days ago. Yet the man nicknamed "Smoke" might be on to something. No, not NASCAR trying to fix the outcomes of races, but how amusing it would be if the whole sport was run like a wrestling promotion.
Fortunately, we don't have to speculate about things like that. All we have to do is blow the dust off the SLAM! Wrestling crystal ball (patents still pending), fire it up and ask it, "What would NASCAR be like if Vince McMahon called the shots?"
Jan. 8, 2008: Receiving surprising financial backing from on-camera rival Donald Trump, Vince McMahon announces that he has purchased a controlling interest in NASCAR from the France family. Stephanie McMahon is named president, and Triple H is named director of competition. Vince briefly considers changing the name of stock car racing's governing body to the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing and Entertainment," but changes his mind when focus groups declare that NASCARE is "too wussy."
Jan. 30, 2008: Right before the beginning of Speedweeks, Jeff Gordon embraces his inner heel by signing with Toyota, making him more hated than ever before among NASCAR's traditional fan base. His feud with former teammate Jimmie Johnson is highly anticipated.
Feb. 17, 2008: The NASCAR season gets underway with the Daytona 500 presented by WWEShopzone.com. Long-time fans are irritated that the event is shown only on pay-per-view, while internet racing writers complain about the Diva Pit Crew Challenge held before the race.
March 23, 2008: Despite being unfairly forced to start at the end of the field and having Stephanie and Triple H throw a phantom debris caution with a few laps to go, Stewart wins the spring race at Bristol. He's become a popular anti-hero due to his willingness to stand up to authority, and his new catchphrase, "Stewart 3:16 means I just wrecked your ass," is selling lots of orange t-shirts.
April 12, 2008: McMahon announces that he has signed the world's largest stock car driver, a 7-foot-6, 600-pound man from Australia. He's anxious to get his new giant out on the track, but even using the Car of Tomorrow, engineers can't figure out a way to get the guy to fit into a vehicle.
May 17, 2008: Dale Earnhardt Jr. sends shockwaves through the racing world with a heel turn right before the Nextel All-Star Challenge, when he joins Gordon's Toyota team and names Armando Alejandro Estrada his new crew chief. NASCAR plans to have him feud with Kasey Kahne, who has been pushed as a face but is receiving mixed reactions from the fans at most tracks. One leading theory is that his cheers are coming from the female fans, while the boos are coming from male fans who don't like him playing off his good looks.
June 22, 2008: Taking some time out from his movie schedule, The Rock is named "special enforcer" for the race at Sonoma, California. His special black-and-white striped car manages to block Gordon in the last lap and send Kahne to Victory Lane. Male fans still boo him.
July 27, 2008: With the deck stacked against him more than ever, Stewart still manages to come out on top at the Brickyard, a race that's near and dear to his heart. An angry Triple H announces that he'll be racing one on one in a special co-main event race at Bristol in August - inside a steel cage! Racing writers praise NASCAR for taking the extra step to protect the fans.
Sep. 6, 2008: The field for the newly named Extreme Chase for the Championship is set following the second race at Richmond. Surprisingly, the final two spots in the Chase go to Shane McMahon and veteran Dale Jarrett, who ran much better in a souped-up UPS truck than he did in a Michael Waltrip Racing Toyota.
Oct. 5, 2008: NASCAR subtitles the fall race at Talladega the "Racing Rumble" since it has the highest possibility of a 30-car wreck. Mimicking a long-standing wrestling tradition, the winner of the Racing Rumble automatically starts from the pole at next year's Daytona 500.
Nov. 16, 2008: Even though he has to pull guys out of the stands to change tires on his Dodge after Umaga decimates his pit crew in the early going, Kahne gets help from Earnhardt Jr. - who pulls off his Toyota fire suit before the race to reveal a black GM Goodwrench suit - in passing Gordon on the final turn and winning at Homestead. He wins the series championship by a single point in what many are calling the most exciting NASCAR season ever, but the writers are still perplexed that some fans continue to boo him.
Now that sounds like a recipe for racing excitement to me. Maybe the folks at NASCAR should embrace their inner wrestling bookers after all. Remember, the crystal ball never lies.
Nick Tylwalk has been a SLAM! Wrestling contributor since 1998, and his column, Walkin' That Aisle with Nick Tylwalk, appears most Mondays. Comments, compliments and complaints can be sent to email@example.com. If you'd like to see a response to your question or comment in a future column, please include your full name and hometown in your e-mail.


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Farmers in every state rely in some way on the economic safety net provided in the 2008 farm bill, the American Farm Bureau Federation today told a House Agriculture subcommittee.
Which farm bill programs are judged most beneficial, however, depends largely on a farmer's crop and region, according to Illinois Farm Bureau President Philip Nelson, who testified on behalf of AFBF.
"While our farmers are generally supportive of the safety net provided in the 2008 farm bill, it can sometimes feel like you're reading the old children's story 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears' when you talk to individual farmers about their experiences with farm programs," Nelson testified. "Some farmers think the safety net coverage provided under the 2008 farm bill is 'just right'. But in other cases and for other farmers the coverage is sometimes too little. In a small number of cases, the coverage may even be duplicative and too much."
Nelson, an AFBF board member who raises grain and cattle near Seneca, Ill., told the lawmakers that as the nation's budget tightens, Farm Bureau believes we should carefully evaluate where those gaps and areas of overlap exist in the current farm law.
"The first challenge will be the budget," Nelson said. "We have seen the (budget) baseline for many farm bill programs decrease since passage of the last farm bill. More than 30 programs included in the last bill do not have any baseline at all, and the standard re-insurance agreement currently being negotiated threatens to rob even more spending baseline."
The 2012 farm bill will be written in a difficult budget environment, but AFBF believes that five key principles should be followed during the rewrite process. Nelson outlined Farm Bureau's five farm bill principles as:
• The options AFBF supports will be fiscally responsible.
• AFBF believes the basic funding structure of the 2008 farm bill should not be altered. In other words, money should not be shifted from one title of the farm bill to another.
• The proposals AFBF supports will aim to benefit all agricultural sectors.
• AFBF believes world trade rulings should be considered.
• And AFBF believes consideration should be given to the stable business environment that is critical to success in agriculture.
Nelson said that today both crop insurance and the farm bill Commodity Title programs provide the option of support to farmers based on revenue losses and not strictly price or yield risk.
"In some cases, this coverage is complementary," Nelson said. "In other cases, it may even be duplicative. Yet, despite this convergence of farm programs and crop insurance, there are still many farmers who fall between the cracks and have little protection from volatile markets and weather."
Nelson told the subcommittee the bottom line is that crop insurance and farm programs have changed "significantly over the past 20 years," and these changes have left producers with different safety nets. He stressed that nearly all farmers, regardless of region, have found it beneficial to participate in "at least one component" of the commodity title of the 2008 farm bill.
Any changes to the bill should, he said, "focus on eliminating these gaps and redundancies in the safety net."
While many concepts, such as whole-farm revenue options, will undoubtedly be floated during the farm bill rewrite, Nelson said that Farm Bureau would keep an open mind, but would be guided by its five farm bill principles.


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The command processor keeps track of a current focus value.
This value is normally the last value returned by a command.
If a command returns multiple values the focus object is a list of the
The focus value is not changed if a command returns no values or
a distinguished `unspecific' value.
Examples of forms that return this unspecific value are definitions,
uses of
set!, and
(if #f 0).
It prints as
The reader used by the command processor reads
## as a special
expression that evaluates to the current focus object.
> (list 'a 'b) '(a b) > (car ##) 'a > (symbol->string ##) "a" > (if #f 0) #{Unspecific} > ## "a" >
Previous: Command processor | Next: Command levels


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Published at Tuesday, 28 August 2018. Sectional Sofa. By Elise Douglas.
Got a new sectional couch and I am so absolutely excited about it. Look at that look how gorgeous that is perfect for our hosting movie nights here at our house, super cozy, I'm super excited and we got a great deal on it. Our friend works at a furniture store and he got us a 30 % off. So this sectional originally went for like 700 something and he got it for us for 450, so I'm so excited like.
You don't understand how bad I wanted a new couch, because our old one we had bought it about a year ago, but we kind of rushed into it. We bought it from these friends of ours that were getting rid of them because they had bought a new sofa bed, so they sold it to us and after I got it, I kind of regretted it because they're like a very light color and like color, gets Dirty faster - and you know we have kids, we have.
Pets is just hard to maintain a light color clean, so I was dying to get rid of those, oh my goodness, but these are gorgeous. This one is so comfy and it's awesome.It looks so cozy and we're always hosting parties and stuff at our house. So it's perfect because we could fit a lot of people in it. You know about eight people fit there. It has like eight and of those fluffy pillows.
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PaperCon 2019
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Zacuto DSLR Striker Kit
Note: This stabilizer does not include a follow-focus mechanism. The gears that Zacuto offers have to be custom-cut for each lens, so we are unable to offer this accessory. If you have to have follow-focus please consider our Red Rock Micro stabilizers.
Product Description
The Striker is light and easy to handle. It has three points of contact by having one hand on the handgrip, the gunstock in your chest and your focusing hand on the lens. The entire kit is infinitely adjustable. You can add a fourth point of contact by adding a Z-Finder to the kit.
The Zacuto Gorilla plate attaches to the bottom of your camera using the standard tripod screw hole. The Gorilla plate has a 15mm hole in the bottom which allows you to attach the main rod for the Striker rig. The rig can be freed from the Gorilla plate by flipping the red lever. A tripod plate can be installed on the Gorilla plate for quickly moving from handheld to tripod.
The Striker kit can not accommodate a follow focus or matte box as it does not have a baseplate. If you need follow focus or a matte box, please check out the stabilizers from Redrock Micro such as the Cinema Bundle, Eye Spy and Captain Stubling.


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- Home
- Feeling Stuck, Page 22 (PAGE FULL)
- Sex and intimacy after betrayal
- Share Your Story: Finding Out, Part 5 (4 is full!!...
- Finding Out, Part 5 (Please post here. Part 4 is f...
- Stupid S#*t Cheaters Say
- Separating/Divorcing Page 9
- Finding Out, Part 6
- Books for the Betrayed
- Separating and Divorcing, Page 10
- Feeling Stuck, Part 23
- MORE Stupid S#*t Cheaters Say
Friday, September 13, 2013
The Other Woman: Revealed
Through my pain I can feel some sort of satisfaction knowing that at the back of the OW minds, they really must know deep down how gullible and stupid they are. My husband's failure is what I will deal with, hers, well, who cares.
She writes:
A little insight into how the other woman feels. This was from a friend who doesn't know that I've been betrayed. I knew about her affair partner but I'm ashamed to say I only took an interest once it had happened to me and the fact that we didn't catch up much as we were thousands of miles away.
Week one of her affair: They met at a convention. Drinks after the meeting, mutual attraction. She was single he was married, which she knew. Ended up in bed by the end of the week. She told me of the flattery: He'd "never had sex like it", she was "the most beautiful woman" he had ever seen, she " got him".
Weeks 2 and 3. He went to her apartment for dinner and more sex. Took her some flowers and champagne. He opened up more about his wife, how the marriage was dead, and he was only staying for the kids.
Months 2 and 3. They meet at least three or four times a week. He has now told her he loves her. He can't stand being without her. She is having the time of her life. Dressing up, being admired, little gifts. I tell her to watch out. Her heart will be broken. And doesn't she think of his wife and kids? Yes, she did, says she felt terrible at first but now she realises they " were meant to be" and besides, the wife is a real ogre, moans all the time, they sleep in separate rooms.
Months 4 and 5. Still going well and she still adores him. Bit upset he couldn't spend her birthday with her and she was hoping to take a little holiday with him. She gives him the key in case he can turn up or if the old bag of a wife gives him too much grief he can spend some time at her apartment. After all, he will probably be moving in one day.
Months 6 and 7. She tells me she's getting a bit pissed about the situation. She really thought by now he would be putting some plans into place about leaving, you know, stashing some money in a different account for when he moves. She finds out the family are going on holiday together. Why would he do that when he can't stand her? Well, you know, united front for the kids and all that.
Months 8 and 9. He has started cancelling a few times. Still says he loves her and they will be together one day. She's had to keep him secret from her friends, so she's missing out on her social life.
Months 9 and 10. She decides to do a drive-by past his house. WTF, there he is in the front garden with the ogre of a wife, who quite frankly would give Julia Roberts a run for her money. How can he be laughing with her? She doesn't tell him she went by the house. Actually, he never told her exactly where he lived but she found out one day from his wallet. He always told her his wife never had Facebook. Oh dear, big mistake, especially when the photos are public. That holiday that was only for the kids, well, there was an awful lot of affection going on, and what was that picture taken at Christmas of the whole family on the bed opening presents looking like the Partridge family? Then a close up picture of the gorgeous eternity ring he bought her. She had never seen him look so happy.
Cut to the present day. She confronted him. Told him he had to make his mind up. That she wasn't going to wait. He apologised and said sorry, she was lovely but he did love his wife and his head was turned. Begged her not to tell his wife.
It cut like a knife hearing her story, I wanted to shout " You bitch, how could you?" But when she cried on my shoulder and said she felt such a fool, used and abused, he was stringing me along all the time. She said that she felt inferior to the wife and the compliments meant nothing as she knew they were just words to get her into bed.
The final piece of her humiliation: My friend, the OW, went to a book club organised by a friend of a friend. And yes, his wife was one of the members. After a few weeks of being in the same room, she hears one evening after a few glasses of wine what a great sex life this woman has with her husband. She seems a happy woman. My friend said she wanted to destroy her happiness that evening by blurting out the truth. She hasn't so far.
I don't think she would benefit from apologising. She's humiliated enough already, she would feel even more like trash. She phoned the other day, but I felt I didn't need a friend like this in my life. I cut her short, said I would phone back. Haven't yet.
61 comments:
- AnonymousSeptember 13, 2013 at 5:51 PM
"My friend said she wanted to destroy her happiness that evening by blurting out the truth." - THAT, in the end, is why society despises the OW as much as the cheating spouse.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousSeptember 15, 2013 at 3:05 PM
damn straight, it's that same undermining, disrespectful and tunnel vision attitude that takes them past that invisible (but obvious) boundary of someone elses relationship in thev first place. Regardless of what lies have been told to the OW about the wife, if they know there is one they need to back off, as they know they're only dealing with the tip of the iceberg, they don't really know what's going on in the marriage and how can a couple have any chance to fix what's wrong if there's an unknown 3rd party standing in the way...?? That's where I wish men would try and see a bit further past their own d**k, and rather than concentrating on the OW, try focusing on the gorgeous piece of a**e they're already privileged to have right in their own home. Create a sultry affair with their wives instead...whatever heartbreak the OW suffers is self-inflicted. They happily created the situation for themselves, these women usually never find happiness of their own because they're too busy sifting through the consequences of trying to rob the happiness of others.Delete
- AnonymousSeptember 18, 2013 at 4:45 PM
Yes. I can see mountainsailing's point below (that is, if they're beneath you, why waste your energy on hating them?) - but I do NOT subscribe to the "only person at fault is the cheating spouse" and that society shouldn't blame the other woman - in the case of a true "I didn't know about the wife", I could see that, but the bulk of these cases, the OW KNOWS there's a wife and still CHOOSES to continue down this path. They have some warped sense of Schadenfreude that we despise in most people who exhibit that behavior but are somehow supposed to overlook when it's an OW?Delete
- AnonymousJanuary 31, 2014 at 7:00 PM
Interesting responses & I truly have mixed emotions about the issue. The spouse & the other woman ... who is at fault etc ... If it is a physical attraction and he slips up and steps out once ... it's not ok, but a little less damaging then say... a affair for ten years with the same woman. I was involved with the man before he was married and knew nothing about the relationship until he was on his way to prison and she called my phone one day after going through the VMs and identified herself as his "Fiance". I was crushed . He went to prison and married her there as he was sentenced to a mandatory 12 year sentence. I of course didn't find this out until he was in about a year & through word of mouth realized he was lying about how serious it really was. I moved out of state and had my own relationship for 3 yrs. At this time, I was working on getting over him & accepting the decision he made. Timehas come that he is being released and who finds me through Internet search? Surprise! He begs for me to come back and see where things go ... I debate whether it is even worth the fight. By that time I left my rel. Moved out, was living alone in another state. I went back and forth and thought that I truly never would have closure until I took the chance. I get to the state & he is on parole for a period of time and we are going out in public and he is claiming me as his woman to anyone who asks. Moves out & lives with fam after he gets approval from his PO. I'm thinking things are on their way and he is showing effort. That lasts for a little while until I realize that too was bullshit. We split. I move on begin dating someone else. He catches wind of it and starts contacting me again, looking for me in places that I frequent. I tell him to be with who he chose to be with, HER ... Not ME. He stays his distance a few weeks and slowly but surely he begins to contact me again. Calling, wanting to meet etc. I try to have a friendship with nothing more. He isn't going for that. As a matter of fact just a few weeks ago I told him to leave me alone and not call me again. Explained we had nothing to discuss. He then called me 30xs after repeated ignored calls. To only show up @ my house the following morning demanding I let him in. So please, at this point I can't deny that I love this man. I have attempted more than once to let him be with his wonderful woman of his choice. I am not a desperate woman and can have a man of my own. I've tried moving on but he reappears. Says he needs to get his shit together and he loves me blah,blah,blah. If you are married and the commitment is made between the both of you. That is indeed where it should stay. If you have probs and work them out, more power to you. However, if your catching your husband time after time with the same things that bond is broken and you need to check him for that infidelity. I have spoken to his wife more than once and have chosen not to go back and forth on what he says or feels and does outside of their situation because quite frankly, it doesn't matter. If I am stupid enough to follow my heart up to this point and she is too the only ones losing is us not him. I refuse to go back and forth or compete with anyone. That is not my intent. I am not looking to one up her or anything. To be quite honest and I was all for letting her have the fool, despite my own feelings. Do I take blame for being human and being weak to my emotions yes, so fault me for that but please don't judge the "OW" as some devils spawn or some outcast because the man that vowed to love you and only you is telling another woman he loves her and wants to be with her. Both of us are being played, he just choses to play the role longer with the "main" one longer as she is the one that one paper puts up with the shit. What makes either one of these women different exactly? She and that womanget the same as long as they both put up with the shit.Delete
- AnonymousSeptember 2, 2015 at 2:02 PM
What's the difference? Wife: Made a life-long commitment to the man. OW: Started dating him, in many cases, knowing that he was married or in a commited relationship.Delete
What ticks me off is that he lies, and OW desperately wants to believe everything that he says. What kind of man leaves his kids with a woman that he claims is abusive? Wouldn't he want to stick around to make certain that the kids aren't abused? The cheating is bad enough, but lying about someone's character to get sex on the side is worse.
Things would be so much better if everyone would stop behaving like children and be honest with each other.
- Waiting for KarmaSeptember 14, 2013 at 5:45 AM
It is simply inexcusable to enter into any kind of intimate relationship with a person who is married. My horrific experience as a betrayed spouse and dealing with the two women that had lengthy affairs with my revolting ex-husband led me to conclude that there is simply a type of woman who is self-absorbed, entitled, insecure and lacks empathy for others. They disgust me on every level.ReplyDeleteReplies
I completely agree...there is NO excuse of any kind for getting into bed with a married man (or woman).Delete
- AnonymousOctober 30, 2014 at 7:58 PM
Absolutely agree with you, you have put into words what is spinning around in my head, as the betrayed spouse, thank you for clarifying so clearly what these OW are................ altho I could add some more colourful words too............ just 5 months out from D-Day but trying to get thru it and............... waiting for KarmaDelete
- AnonymousJuly 22, 2015 at 3:34 PM
Perfectly said- "self-absorbed, entitled, insecure and lacks empathy." 100% I so needed to read this. xoDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 6, 2015 at 6:54 PM
You just described my ex good friend (the OW) to a T. I had described her as the sunshine vampire tramp. Thank you.Delete
- AnonymousJanuary 18, 2018 at 11:50 AM
in my opinion, based on my experiences, there are only two types of Women.. the one that lifts you up, cheer you on, she encourages you to reach your full potential AND then there is the kind that will do everything in their power to use people to their advantage, maybe even try to steal your life, your husband, & everything you hold close to your heart... there's a very special place in hell for people like that.Delete
- AnonymousJanuary 18, 2018 at 12:17 PM
it's so unfair that these people (OW) get to carry on with their lives with no care in the world on how much pain they've caused to the lives of the people that were betrayed. I wish for Karma to catch up to them. I realize that the fault was mostly on my husband but I've learned to forgive him bc he is the most caring, loving , attentive husband in all of our 15 years of being together...But this woman, no, no, no. I cannot bring myself to forgive someone who's not even sorry for what she did. She wants my life, she saw my husband as an opportunity, he doesn't see it that way, but I know her type, she made him think that she loves him and that he can replace me with her.Delete
I really appreciate this post, because for quite some time I've wanted to hear a realistic point of view from an "other woman" who is similar to my husband's. that is, just a normal, screwed up person who didn't mean to have an affair and made terrible mistakes.ReplyDelete
I'm not an apologist, but I do try to understand what makes people do what they do. I want the real story, not just my own angry inventions of what I think might have happened. In the case of my husband's affair, both he and the other woman made horrible, human mistakes. Neither was evil. Neither was trying to hurt anyone. Neither was overtly manipulative. Neither planned the affair.
(I know in some affairs the other person is truly manipulative, plans the affair from the start, and actively tries to break up the marriage. In those situations, my thought here don't apply.)
I forgive my husband because I know and love him, because he is remorseful and transparent and is working to do everything possible to repair the damage from his affair.
I can't go as far as forgiving the other woman, because she has never apologized to me (despite knowing me and having spent time with me as a "friend"). But I can understand that, in the case of my husband's affair, she is no more culpable than my husband. Like him, her behavior was the result of selfishness, unhappiness, and neglecting to understand her own inner turmoil and deal with it appropriately. Instead of tackling the problems in her life, she sought a quick fix that she knew was wrong. She questioned the morality of what she was doing the whole time, but kept doing it anyway. And that's exactly what my husband did.
I don't excuse either of them. I'll always be angry about what they did. But I can understand that she made the same (stupid, selfish) mistakes that my husband made. She's a flawed human, as is he, as am I.
I never liked her enough to take that farther and attempt to forgive her. Instead, I'm working towards accepting what she did and moving on.Replies
Your level of empathy is staggering. To get to a place where you can simply accept her as flawed, not Satan, and yourself as flawed, not saint, is inspiring. I suspect your attitude has also allowed you to move on from this more easily than those who hang on to hate.
I say "hang on" though I know being obsessed with the Other Woman feels much more out of control than that. But, in the end, it is a choice -- to either give away our power to her, or take it back. Like you, I chose to take it back, though it took time.
Many of these Other Women are just garden-variety screw-ups. Selfish, yes. Self-centered, uh-huh. Deluded. Yup. The truly evil manipulative ones scare the hell of out me. But most are just dumb, not devils.
Well, you know: on a good day... Some days I'm not as balanced. ;)Delete
What you say is kind of funny, because one of my husband's refrains over the last year and a half has been, "You have to let her go. You can't let her control your life." I've had a horrible time doing that. I've been SO angry with her!
But this is the mindset I've been striving for since I found out. I was too traumatized at first to come close to this much clarity. In the last couple of months, though, something has been breaking loose. My resentment, I think. The pain has lessened as a consequence. I hope it lasts. I feel lighter.
From the beginning I told my husband that I don't want quick, cheap answers, I want the truth. It would be easy for me to see her as pure evil, and believe me, in moments I've leaned that direction! But in my gut I know it's not true. Exaggerating her faults or painting her as the devil doesn't help me, because even as I do that, in the back of my mind I know it's not true.
If I'm to understand this (and then let it go), I have to understand the truth of it, not some fabrication. That's actually harder at first, because the reality is more complicated. But I think in the end it makes the recovery more solid, because the recovery is now based on a real foundation, not on easy, flawed explanations I told myself so I could hate her.
And I guess that's why I'm where I am now. It feels pretty good. Hopefully it lasts.
- AnonymousSeptember 15, 2013 at 3:36 PM
@ mountainsailingDelete
Thanks for your story, it is reassuring for me to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for some couples working through the aftermath of an affair. I myself found out about my husbands short-lived fling which occured at the start of last year. The ow in my case did apologise profusely when I first confronted her over the phone, however, our last bit of contact we had this year,(probably a mistake, but my partner wasn't brave enough to confess the whole truth at that point, so I had no choice)...she chose to manipulate the situation, and blew the whole story out of proportion, possibly as a way to get back at my partner for leading her on? I don't really know, I think I may have caught her in a bitter phase about the whole thing and just wanted to screw our relationship up for good by sticking the knife in. All it really did was create more grief and pain for myself and my children, and it also robbed my partner of the chance to get the real truth out and give me closure as I didn't know who to believe. Eventually he realised it better to just lay everything out on the table and be honest, but it took alot of talks, and alot of tears on both sides. As he's talked more to me about the little details, I've come to now understand what kind of a person she was, and why she was still fostering the behaviour, despite knowing what she was doing was disgusting and undermining to me as his wife. After her last attempt to lie and cause more destruction for us both, he realised just how screwed up and deceitful she could be too. But I guess all animals will fight when they feel cornered....lol. Even though my partner didn't take long to express to her that he wanted to stop what they were doing, she still approached him after this, asking to meet up for lunch, walks etc..even asking him to be her date to a party later that year, which was the msg I found and him and I came to blows about it because at the point I was terrified and didn't know what I was dealing with. My husband also had a look of terror in his eyes as he knew I'd had enough of playing the guessing game and was about to leave. After that he rung her and told her to cool it for good. (I still wasn't aware what had really happened at that point, I'd only hit the tip of the iceberg) I showed the ow more respect and understanding through out our conversing than she deserved. At the end of the day, I did nothing to hurt anyone, and she knows that, my husband has come to resent her deeply, mainly for happily choosing to play a part in the worst life decision he ever made,even though she had nothing to lose, she knew he did. These women....at that very moment where the tables turn for the worst, are the only people that have the power to put their hand up and give a good decent guy who at the point lose all rationality, the chance to stop and think about what they're really about to lose. But they usually never do, because the OW is too busy cheering on for what she could possibly gain for herself out of it. Myself and my husbands love for each other runs deep, this 3rd person underestimates the ability of how true love can really bounce back from these tragic mistakes, when there is true remorse, maturity, honest communication, empathy and understanding, listening without defence (on his side)....you pretty much have the recipe to move forward together in leaps and bounds. Best of luck for you and me both hun. xox
We all have our good days and...not-so-good. :)
I too went through what you describe. That loosening of anger. That lightness. It's amazing to me now that I can think about "her" and feel, really, nothing. If you had told me that day would come way back when I found out, I couldn't have imagined it. Yet here it is. But, like you, it took a conscious choice to not grip hatred tightly. To try and recognize that she was just a messed up, lonely soul who took what passed for love in whatever form it came.
"Best of luck for you and me both hun. xox"Delete
Thank you! I'm touched. And yes, to you, too. It sounds like you'll be okay. :) It's a lot of hard work.
- AnonymousOctober 17, 2014 at 9:33 AM
I too used to hate and blame the OW until I read a book called "The Other Woman-Her Point of View". I read it because I needed to make sense of something I had trouble making sense of. I was reading everything I could find about affairs. The book opened my eyes to other possibilities and helped me to understand many things I didn't.
You really have a great and intelligent outlook on the painful feelings of betrayal you experienced. I hope you all the happiness in life that you deserve.
I think i made a very big mistake of contacting the OW of my partner, i did not fight with her. I remained civil thinking i could get important information i can use against my partner. I did get a handful of information, most of them destroyed me even more. The sad part is i gave her a bird'e eye view of my relationship and how my partner is in real life. Now, i think she's smart enough not to pressure my partner to leave me when she pressured him to admit to me about his infidelity. I think she is my partner's escape when we fight and now that i requested that he stop with her, he told me "he cant" . I dont know if this meant i should now leave. My partner said "everytime i contact the OW, i push him more towards her". The bitch even told me that i should not decide for my partner whether he should leave her or not. I'm trying to be strong, but i dont know how long i can stay like this :'(ReplyDeleteReplies
Your partner is manipulating and abusing you. He's using the OW as a way to keep you in line. Let her have him. Nobody is worth sacrificing your self-respect. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't want you to cut him loose. There's a reason he's keeping two of you dangling. He clearly gets off on two women wanting him. So stop playing his game. Walk away with head held high. It won't be easy. But, with time, I think you'll see it was absolutely the smartest move for you.
Thanks Elle, i hope one day i will have the courage to leave. Right now, my situation is very complicated. I'm in a foreign land and we are in the process of getting my right to stay in this country and the case has been rejected and is now in the higher court. I think he is also taking advantage of that. That he "thought" I can't leave him or I wont get the right to stay. Some men are just total jerk :/Delete
In the meantime, I wish you peace of mind. I hope you can expedite the bureaucracy so you can be truly free.Delete
I don't know why so many women focus on the OW when you can use the OW as a great tool. A tool to get information out of a as well as a key to unlocking the mysteries of what a piece of crap your husband is or can potentially be. I thanked the OW's in my sitch. They saved me thousands of dollars in what I would've spent in private investigator and decoy fees. I eventually was fortunate enough to see the bastard for who he is & got out. Ten years later he is now remarried with a new child. That poor girl. My DDay is a celebration day. A "thank your husband's mistress" day!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 24, 2013 at 8:35 AM
My husband had the audacity to make the OW fall head over heals in love with him. It's all a game to him... in my case the OW is a divorcing mother of 2 young boys 30 years his junior. I personally called her husband to tell him about the affair and he thanked me because he know something was going on. What did the OW say about that- she was glad I told her husband so I "could not longer blackmail my husband for hush money". WTF??!! She thinks she's a "awesome" mother but how can you when you text 400 times a day? She was dumb enough to sent provocative pictures that I found and erased, even dumber to do it again- and I sent those to her husband as well!! I still have them on my cell to remind me how skanky she is- ever see a chick lick and suck her own nipples??? The affair continued for another two months after I found out with no sign of stopping so I filed for divorce. No one should ever put up with that disgusting behavior. Bottom line in my experience- anyone willing to engage in an affair with a married man is sick in the head. The married man is also sick in the head and both deserve each other.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 25, 2013 at 3:03 AM
My revenge, such as it is, lies in knowing that the OW wanted a relationship with my husband, wished he would leave his family, and that what she had instead must have been unsatisfying and possibly (indeed hopefully) humiliating. Now she knows that somewhere out there is a woman who knows who she is, knows what she did (including using public money to indulge her desire to get her rocks off) - and who despises and pities her. Plus it seems quite clear that behaviour like hers will not have gone unnoticed amongst her colleagues. Reputation, reputation, reputation... I tell my husband this too, in case you're wondering.ReplyDelete
I think it would be appalling to consider the responsibility in these affairs as anything other than 50/50 - the OW is not some kind of helpless puppet. In my case she was a divorced, middle-aged woman who should have known better, not a green girl swept off her feet. Of course she owes me nothing, it's my husband who betrayed my trust. I don't want or need any contact with her, certainly haven't stalked her on the web. She isn't very interesting, he didn't love her or particularly care about her: she provided an opportunity, he took it. I'm ashamed of his behaviour, certainly and now, so is he. And (as far as I can tell) he doesn't remember the events with very much affection now he realises the implications of his actions and what he so nearly threw away. Luckily he told me what had happened, I didn't have to find out. Even with all the pain I'm glad to be on this side of the fence. I could never act as she did, would never cause this much suffering to another woman, would never permit anyone to risk their children's happiness to service my needs, whatever nonsense a man told me. I would take responsibility for my actions the way any decent woman would. She will always be aware that I know how she lost her dignity and self-respect - that's quite enough.
- AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 7:44 AM
Absolutely, your revenge is true and just.ReplyDelete
I'm in a very similar situation. She wanted everything I had. The home, the car, the clothes, the whole life style. She made such a fool of herself to keep him excited, and I mean really a fool. How good she must of felt sending a photo of herself, well lets say, playing with a little toy, or not so little for her. She wanted to know what things I did in bed, what wine I drank, what perfume I wore, where I shopped. Hell, if he wasn't screwing her it's incredibly flattering.
Yes, my husband did wrong, really wrong and we're building and building our relationship and yes, I get down days and when I do, I just think of some mutton dressed as lamb making a fool of herself.
Oh yes, revenge can take many forms.
- AnonymousSeptember 26, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Hello revenge buddy! I feel very sad now I don't have any photos - perhaps you could share yours? I did however consider sending my very dull OW a not so little toy, courtesy of her department, in case she's lonely at any of those conferences she now attends without the benefit of my husband. But the batteries alone would be so expensive.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 5:00 AM
Hello fellow Revenge Buddy,ReplyDelete
There was a time when I felt like sharing the photo, but to be honest, it was such a revolting site that I wouldn't put anyone else through it. However, seeing that photo made me feel SO good about myself. Now deleted but I'm sure there are other husbands or single men with similar photos of her
Quite right not to waste your money on a toy for her in case she gets lonely. I often wonder how these women feel in the cold light of day, when they truly confront their behaviour, not the days when they are justifying it, and how they must feel knowing that there could be hundreds/thousands of people laughing at unsavoury images of them. Pretty depressing really.
Good luck with your journey. xReplies
I think it is depressing.Delete
I also think that many of these women, like our husbands, become masters at compartmentalization. Like Scarlett O'Hara ("I won't think about this today..."), they simply tuck anything disturbing away in their brains. It's a survival strategy from difficult times in their childhoods/lives. Which generally makes me empathize with them.
Most of them are just messed up women. Nothing more, nothing less. Unhealthy people doing harmful things to themselves and others.
- AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 6:48 AM
thank you, and with yours xReplyDelete
At least (I assume) there are no naked photos of US anywhere beyond the cute toddler stage in the family album. We can relax.
I'm sure my OW is embarrassed and would rather forget - especially as events turned out as these things generally turn out; in vague disappointment and the feeling you've been played, even if initially you told yourself you were in control, just having fun and in some way 'doing the playing'. I hope the next man she chooses is actually available. But what a stupid and entitled creature she was - all the time imagining no one would get hurt - in reality not thinking about anyone but herself.
We did get hurt. I got hurt, our children were hurt in the general misery after D-Day, the OW didn't get what she wanted, my husband feels like an idiot. Quite rightly - he was an idiot. Luckily for him a much loved idiot. To any man who thinks the OW, though misguided, was your friend: that isn't the way a friend acts - a friend doesn't encourage you to risk your family for a 'sexual adventure'. And absolutely no, you were not the OW's friend either. You had nothing to offer her but that queasy feeling you get when you forget to pack your moral compass.
I can't believe my husband behaved in such a selfish way. But he did. Like so many other men, he did. Now I've worked my way round to feeling I should apologise to her.
Infidelity's a mug's game. But at least it has given us a chance to reassess what we have together and hopefully be kinder and more attentive to each other. In case this makes me sound saintly - just keep that asinine woman several hundred miles away from me, please...
- AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 7:27 AM
thank you for the site, Elle. There's nowhere else like it xReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 27, 2013 at 7:54 AM
Elle and fellow Revenge Buddy,ReplyDelete
Something has stuck me most profoundly today whilst reading the blogs on this page. Throughout our journey of tears and heartache, we have gained life skills that we would never have had, we have gained compassion and support from other betrayed wives on this site, we have picked ourselves up and found the good in our marriage and addressed the not so good.
What does the O/W have? Condemnation from most people. I know there are sites which will support these women, however, they always have an air of desperation and "wolfs hunting in packs" about them.
I took a journey on the wrong train, but along the way I found interesting, kind, intelligent and funny people and although I didn't want to step on that train, I would do it again! I've arrived in one piece and it could have been a lot worse without you guys.
The members of this club, on this site, are the most articulate, smart, funny and wonderful women. I am lucky to share my journey with all of you. You're right...it could have been a lot worse.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousSeptember 30, 2013 at 3:20 PM
I truely believe the OW in my case really tried to justify to me (but more to herself) her actions for getting involved with my husband, even after originally admitting she just shouldn't have gotten involved with my husband! They really are selfish, and in her case, so incredibly opportunistic, like a burglar walking past an open window of a really nice house....they just couldn't pass it up. But I guess when you're lonely, desperate for affection, and attention, it becomes a case of 'beggars can't be choosers', and in her case, as long as I didn't find out, she was going to keep trying her luck and hang in there for as loooong as possible! So yeah, it's definitely a 50/50 thing, it takes two people with a very self serving frame of mind to keep something like this alive, and also no ability to see past their own nose. It's frustrating to think about, but very eye opening to acknowledge everyones perspectives on 'the other woman' in this particular blog. To me, it represents nothing more than an 'entity' that reflects one womans complete ignorance and disrespect towards another woman, aswell as themselves. Simple.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 1, 2013 at 6:28 AM
Dear Anon,ReplyDelete
Isn't it incredible that the OW tries to justify what she's done? I like your analogy of a burglar walking past an open window- I see them as rodents stealing food or leeches sucking the blood out. Yes, it is 50/50 and I will deal with my husbands 50%, but when they try and absolve themselves completely, then surely that must constitute rape if they weren't a willing party.
The insight from the betrayed wife in the top letter about her so called " friend" is really very interesting. I almost get the feeling they know they are being lied to, but as you say, they are lonely and desperate. I hope some of them come on here and get a little insight into our lives and how foolish they've been, but also how evil some of their fellow mistresses are. We are all strong women and those of us that have decided to stay fight a battle every day, but at least its an honest battle.
- AnonymousOctober 6, 2013 at 3:42 AM
Thankyou, an honest battle it is, and it helps me to hold my chin up a little further when I think of it like that...I cannot put into words the extremeties of the emotions and thoughts that roll through my mind and heart on any given day, let's just say I actually sleep well because of how exhausted it leaves me. I was unfortunate to be put into the position where I was made desperate enough to contact the ow, and in the end, as Elle mentioned in her latest blog response to the 'other woman', the ow in my case did take my already broken heart, and pissed on it with pleasure. This was the first short lived affair my partner has had throughout our relationship (as far as I know), but now he has realised, seen, and absorbed the pain and heartache it has caused for myself and his precious young family who also lived through the misery of it all, it will no doubt be his last. ONE THING, that did come to my mind during my run tonight, which gave me a disturbing sense of comfort, is something I remember this ow telling me in one of her letters to me, was that if it wasn't her that my partner got entangled with, it would've been someone else. But I also came to realize, after discovering how selfish and ignorant she chose to be in her own actions, that if it wasn't MY partner that she had gotten entangled with, it most probably would've just ended up being someone elses too!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 10, 2013 at 6:20 AM
Mosquitos need a host to feed off, unfortunately, our husbands are good prey and our husbands regard them as rather beautiful butterflies at the time when they have their affair glasses on.... They just need swatting.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousDecember 11, 2013 at 4:33 PM
Does this obsession with the OW ever end? Does it get better? Do i have to live with this hate and anger all my life towards this horrible person.ReplyDelete
Its been 10 months and i think things are better since D Day, especially that we have been thru alot, and my husband was truely remorceful.
And i have my good days when it all seems so fake or in the past and i'm able to enjoy my marriage, and i have my "i hate you, how could u do this to me, to us!?" Days.
But my feelings towards her have been constant, i cant handle this hate or anger. I never felt that pissed from someone ever in my life! Its not even in my nature to hate! So i decided that may be i shud forgive her, so that I cud move on.
But it seems so hard to forgive her without ever telling her how i feel or yelling at her or understanding what she was thinking, anything to justify her actions, I think i wud buy it just to find relief, or may be an apology, feeling of remorce.. I dunno if i can move on with this much anger and hate inside me. I have been suffering from insomnia for sometime now... I dont want to talk to anyone anymore, everyone has an opinion about something that they are clueless about, including my husband!Replies
Yes, it is not only possible, it is probable. But you can't keep feeding the beast or it only gets stronger. In other words, you need to actively put this woman behind you. That means stopping yourself when you go down that hole of anger. Picture a big read stop sign. Or say, out loud, STOP IT. This is NOT helpful. This is NOT who you are or who you want to be. Or put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it each time you start to think nasty thoughts.Delete
You could also, in order to purge the anger, write her a letter. You don't need to mail it. You could even have a ritual burning of it…and with it burn your anger. But write down everything you'd say to her. Give her all your anger and your pain and your disgust. And then…let it go.
I don't know of too many actual meetings between OW and BW that were satisfying or cathartic. Most OW are self-absorbed, blame-shifting, manipulative people who will twist your words and somehow make it all about them. Don't give her the chance. Write your letter, try the behaviour modification techniques and, slowly, you'll release her (and yourself!). Focus on the now.
- AnonymousFebruary 14, 2014 at 1:46 PM
All of the entries here are so true. My ow was unhappily married with a child if her own. My husband thought it was safe to be friends w her. Nothing would happen because she was family oriented. He now sees how she manipulated him, pressuring him to turn their relationship sexual. He says (& I believe him) that he told her that she would then pressure him to leave me & our kids (which she did). She even wanted him to pick up & move to another state w her! He says he told her from the beginning he wouldn't, but like most of us, she heard what she wanted.Delete
Nowadays when I want to do something I will sometimes tell my husband, I'm going to do what I want now after all you did. At which point he asks is that how u see this. Meaning that this whole thing is in no way what he wanted. He said he actually feels that he was manipulated. Any woman would have told him beforehand that no woman offers no strings attached sex-- of course she wanted my life, but thinking with his penis he couldn't see it (or chose not to).
- AnonymousSeptember 23, 2014 at 1:20 AM
This was not helpful. Because my husband actually left me and my two small children for the married women. He actually fell in love with her lies. Got papers for rentals extra. She was also married and had came from southern Carolina left her husband and two kids just tp have a secret affair while helping her mother move from California. He was so stupid he didnt ven facebook shanna pennell from south Carolina. She was just an unhappy women looking for a safe married man miles from home to keep her company. He never knew she found out he left me and he said he loved her in an email she broke up with him right away as soon as he was serious. And so that proves nothing on his sexual appetite towards thia women. Specially after she sent him dirty pictures a dossen times. .....updated we are working things out and going to Christian based marriage counsling. He treats me better than he ever has and swears I am rhe best he has ever had I. Bed but sadly I cannot fully belive such lies since she had thw blond hair big boobs big butt and I am a skinny readheaded midget who is sick way to often and had a problem with hormones after I had my baby. So now that im pregnant again in only fearing the worst. 8 years of marrage going on nine its been six months since his affair.ReplyDeleteReplies
I'm so sorry. It sounds as if you're in a lot of pain...and still believing that his affair was about your shortcomings. It wasn't. It was about HIS shortcomings. If he meant the vow he gave you when you married, then he agreed to "in good and bad". That doesn't mean leaving someone when they have health issues. It doesn't mean going on Facebook and trolling for someone desperate to get out of her own situation.Delete
You will never believe his words that you're what he wants until you believe it about yourself. Until you can treat yourself with respect and love, you'll have trouble allowing others to treat you with respect and love.
You're using his affair to confirm everything you believe about yourself. The way you talk about yourself is so incredibly unkind. Language is incredibly powerful. You call yourself a "skinny redheaded midget". How about a fiery-haired petite powerhouse? Or a slim ginger?
I hope you'll seek individual counselling for your own pain and healing. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
It has become my personal observation that unless you experience this directly few people rarely comprehend the corrosive-vastness involved in sexual and emotional "Betrayal." Secrecy and Infidelity's "Unseen Shrapnel." - Residual Fall Out and Long-Term Consequences of "Traumatic Energies Being Exchanged." they (may not be seen) nevertheless reverberate (even into the next generation when children are involved)ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 19, 2015 at 12:36 AM
Thank you for your reply its been over a year since i wrote that post. And it was true i am to hard on myself and took to much of the blame on myself. I had a mentle breakdown because i couldnt handle everything. Plus being pregnant. We are still on a journey. Of movi g forward and now have plans for remarriage next year. I had alit of times where i was so overwhelmed. With grief. From his infadelity it seamed i was more obsessed with it then he ever was. With him it was short lived easily forgotten and left behind. But with me it was as tho he left it for me to carry. It got better o e day at a time each day i thought less and less about it. Tho i still had horrible nightmares remembering. Her voice o. The phone mentally. Picturi g them together. For a while there it felt like i was goi g crazy. But one day it just stopped . well not completely. I have my good and bad days. I just needed to stop compari g myself with her. He seams content with my appearance. And well i found love for my red hair i still am working on my self and how i view my body. You were completely. Right in your reply and thank you.Delete
- AnonymousOctober 19, 2015 at 12:46 AM
And with lotst of support from my parents and husband with the children. I forgot to mention. Things are easier. And i mostly was just afraid he would leave me with small children. However he did not and dosent have any future plans on it. he is truly remorseful. And i fully belive that now. He wishes he could take it all back and says he wishes he never met the women. I am learni g to trust him again tho it has not been easy and i doubt him often. He seams diffrent somehow as tho. He never thought it would hurt me so deeply or take everything So literal. Like how i view myself. After three kids im not such a skinny redhead any more but i am now more impowered. I tell him things without fear. Fix myself up and go out. I can even hold my head up now because i know it was all just a lie he made up in his mind a story she told him to gain the simpathy girl in distress card. But when the chips fell he knew the only one left who stood by him was me and he acknowledges. That and tells me Nd he needs me and fully see that now so that alone helpsDelete
I'm glad you've learned to love and accept yourself and to realize this was never about you and what you did/didn't have. It was HIS failing, not yours.Delete
As for the Other woman/man?ReplyDelete
No one seems to graps the (continuing) trauma for betrayed partners regarding impact of managing/and or comprehending psychologically damaged paramours.
(Remorseful and repentant spouses can more easily become the "prodigals." returning-home. However often the "Unremorseful," paramour either slinks aware unrepentant-hiding and/or lashes out with increased-hubris, even violence, towards the healing couple and/or family). These are people incapable of feeling shame and/or politely removing themselves and respectfully going away
Most clinical and social "Focus" goes onto the "Betrayer," the potential prodigal (and reasons for the betrayal) Social opinion laments that something must be wrong with the betrayed spouse. The betrayed partner is immediately instructed towards "Healthy-Positive Self-Care," "Holding down the fort," by attending to the Betraying Partners and/ore family and children. Any emotionality from the Betrayed Spouse is Suspect, socially/privately viewed as pathological - if not "appropriately," contained.ReplyDelete
Completely overlooking the overall - "Criminal Self-Absorption," of ALL parties involved including the surrounding culture which promotes infidelity
Dr. Omar Minwall views sex-addiction as a "Problem with Intimacy." His work focuses on the betrayed and developed 13 dimensions of Trauma induced PTSD. I'd add some more. Because we not only deal with the initial sexual betrayal and all 13 Dimensions of Induced Trauma but suddenly a once faceless co-partner becomes a reality. We are more than likely confronting the, "Intent to Harm," and Severe Intimacy Terrorism Perpetrated by Toxic Paramours and/or potentially-negative characters involved.ReplyDelete
As a betrayed spouse we not only deal with initial sexual betrayal and all 13 Dimensions of Induced Trauma but suddenly a once faceless co-partner becomes a reality. We are now more than likely confronting the "Intent to Harm," and Severe Intimacy Terrorism Perpetrated by Toxic Paramours and or/potentially-harmful characters involved.ReplyDelete
Often - underground-Hatred, Rage, Spite, Greed, Malice, Sinister - Condescension, Envy, Theft, Faux-Probity, False Witness, Jealousy and Self-Righteousness,(mere examples) of potent ingredients in this "love" bomb, potion are directed at unsuspecting/unaware partners and spouses of the targeted "Love-Object."ReplyDelete
There is no doubt in my mind that having an affair with a married partner sends all types of negative energy towards the betrayed spouses.
How many of us remember the moment we realized that another person (secretly) regarded us as the person and object to "get rid of?" Someone to diminish, character-assassinate, and destroy. (Like Shakespeare's Iago. How could Desdemona ever comprehend her sad destiny amidst such random/banal hatred.ReplyDelete
The betrayed spouse faces cultural backlash, where personal experience and private anguish is minimized and greatly misunderstood.ReplyDelete
My observation is that the betrayed partners not only face a "Partners" - betrayal i.e. (Hatred) They also face all the "Hate," directed at them from the affair partner(s) along with colluding individuals/collaborating institutions/ and other social "Shadow," throw into the drama and "Karma," surrounding them.
There is no closure for the betrayed spouse.
The metaphor of "The foundation of a house fragmenting, slowly or suddenly or both."ReplyDelete
Like a car accident and/or like "A drop of Ink in water."
Betrayal is like a hit and run
Made worse when victims are told to "Get a grip," "Deal with it," and walk home in the dark - alone
But the truth is we are not alone look at this amazing website and all of us!
Countless numbers of men and women suffering quietly unable to begin to comprehend whats happening...but by reaching out to each other and finding our "voice." This alone sets us apart and makes us stronger.....
- AnonymousAugust 24, 2015 at 7:58 PM
The best revenge is to: 1. Not say anything to the OW. Act as if she is invisible. She will go crazy and reveal herself. 2. Be quiet with your husband. The OW became so enraged (she was a family friend), her true self and motives were revealed. I wasn't nasty to her, I told her that my marriage was bt me and my husband, and that she couldn't be involved. If he made her promises, lied, etc., that was HER problem, not mines. It is driving her crazy not to know the state of our relationship, and my husband is so angry at her for lying and making a spectacle, he'll never talk to him again (I made him call and confess to his entire family).ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 26, 2016 at 8:02 PM
I survived my husband's affair and our marriage is amazing now. It wasn't easy but worth it. If he's thinking of leaving for OW pack his bags and make him leave. It's one thing to sneak around and have no responsibilities with OW it's quite another to have to support her and pay child support and spousal support. The sooner you can pop the affair illusion bubble the sooner he will look at his OW and realize she is not worth it. Men always cheat down because a good woman never goes that route. There was a time your husband chose to marry YOU. If you're 50 pounds heavier than when you got married then you have some work to do. The hardest working people at the gym are divorcees. Get moving. Even just seeing you go on walks and put on makeup will make him remember how he felt about you. Be nice but know you're worth!! I can't stress that enough. Don't beg him to stay. You dont want him to stay out of pity. The only thing the OW does that you don't is flatter your husband and put him on a pedestal. Put yourself on a pedestal higher so he has to reach to attain you. The OW is cheap and easy. When your husband sees you make sure he sees the woman he married, not a crying wreck. Know your worth. A wife is ALWAYS more valuable than an OW. They're just an easy drive th r ough. Make your husband crave filet mignon again.ReplyDelete
It's been 6 years since discovery of his 2 year affair(s). (been married 22 years now) Went through 2 years of therapy with a renowned couples counselor. A year and a half after his affair, after he still wouldn't come clean, I had an affair of my own, and with a guy who was cheating on someone else. I was actually seduced by a counselor I had gone to for help. I felt I was staying in the marriage because I wanted him to live and not commit suicide. He told me he felt no jealousy over my affair. I was ready to leave him for the other guy and the other guy stayed with his LTR instead. So I find myself in this marriage. We love each other dearly, but there is no sex anymore. It feels like some kind of comfortable, loving, friendly limbo that will collapse the second either one of us has our libido re-ignited by someone other than ourselves. We don't have any reason to stay together...no children, not for money. But we remain in this relationship anyway. I miss sex, but we are both older. I keep wanting to find a sexual partner outside our marriage, but keep stopping myself because it all seems so hopeless. In conclusion: I got to see what it was like from the perspective of a faithful, trusting, innocent spouse, and from the perspective of the conniving, selfish OW. I am just dazed now, and think that most of us are at the core innocent and just seeking the will to live a life of passion. Though the marriage I am in sounds pretty awful (sexless) there has been an awakening of the preciousness of the fragile nature of life and each other. We appreciate the things that we bring to each other verbally and emotionally on a daily basis, even if it isn't sex. I tell him how I feel, about my urges to cheat in order to have a sex life again, and he understands. There is even a chance he is cheating now, though it doesn't seem likely based on basic knowledge of him and his movements, etc. , but I never feel sure. I know that I have never betrayed my own ideal of being honest and open about what I am thinking and feeling with him and others. Many of you may feel that I am evil for having my own affair with someone with another LTR, and you may be right. I only feel human. I do have a less judgmental attitude about others faults. But I still feel the same burn when I think about the betrayal. It still hurts my gut. Because of this, I do a lot of pretending, by not letting on that it still makes me want a divorce. I don't bring it up much, and never with anger at all, just curiosity every once in awhile. I am just a human among the walking wounded.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJune 14, 2016 at 9:04 PM
The OW is a dirty desperate skank cause she's already involved with the cheater by the time he "confides" in her about how unhappy he is, that his wife treats him poorly, is such a bitch, he's just with her for the sake of the kids & all the other bullshit lies she's dumb enough to believe!ReplyDelete
If he's so self-sacrificing that he's willing to live this so called unhappy life just for the kids then why doesn't he try to work on his marriage instead of destroying it for his own kids?
Usually when the wife finds out it's the hoe-ribble side-bitch that gets dumped!


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Inflammatory Bowel Disease: Diagnosis and Treatment
Gary L. Gitnick
Igaku-Shoin, Jan 1, 1991 - Affections intestinales inflammatoires - 544 pages
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5-aminosalicylic acid abdominal abnormalities abscess acute anal anastomosis antibiotics antigens arthritis associated azathioprine biopsies cancer carcinoma cells chronic Clin clinical colectomy colitis and Crohn's colon colonoscopy complications controlled trial corticosteroids Crohn's colitis Crohn's disease Crohn's disease patients diagnosis diarrhea diet dilatation disease activity disease and ulcerative distal dosage dose drug dysplasia endoscopic epithelial evaluation factors fistulas Gastroenterol Gastroenterology genetic hydrocortisone IBD patients ileal ileoanal ileostomy ileum immunosuppressive improved increased inflammation inflammatory bowel disease intestinal intravenous involvement Lancet Lennard-Jones lesions manifestations methotrexate metronidazole mucosa normal obstruction occur oral parenteral nutrition patients with Crohn's patients with ulcerative perforation perianal physician placebo pouch procedure prednisolone prednisone present proctitis prognosis rectal rectum recurrence relapse remission reported resection response risk serum side effects sigmoidoscopic small bowel steroids stool strictures sulfasalazine surgery surgical symptoms therapeutic therapy tion tissue toxic megacolon treated Truelove ulcerative colitis usually


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Intro: [BLaKK JaKK The Rhymer & JaY STeeZ aka Capital STEEZ]
I wonder if we'll get our chance to blow
We give our all through every show
3rd Kind be the best to flow
Still Idontknow? Idontknow? I dontknow?
So Idontknow? What's the hook Jakk? Shit..
So what you mean dog? by Idontknow? Idont -
It's the Kind homie, so just go with the flow
Uh say Idontknow? So Whatcha mean? by Idontknow?
So what they saying to us? Well Idontknow?
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Yo, so, so here we go again
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Me and Blak move like Raekwon and ASON
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But this far from a cartoon, when the trigger's pulled back you're all doomed
This ain't a bang sign, flyin' out the harpoon
Well what is it? Idontknow? Idontknow?


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Message Board
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Talk about the novels, new and used books that Wood has written!
Author Wood's Book Reviews
Accidents Waiting to Happen
Barclay, 2002, 15.95, 309 pp. ISBN 1931402302 While driving on an isolated bridge overlooking the Sacramento River, a guy in an SUV runs Josh Michaels off the road. Luck saves him when fishermen rescue him. The police believe a random encounter with a psycho or road rage occurred, but Josh thinks otherwise as the culprit watched with his thumb pointing down as Michael almost drowned. Josh's former secretary Bell wants silence money from him....


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