text:
Now, here is the thing, I don't want you to think, "Jesus, she just did that really manipulative thing where she promised us more recaps if we raised a thousand bucks for her stranded friend, now she's trying to bilk us for more cash?" No. Not at all. I have nothing to emotionally blackmail you with this time. It's not like I'm going to withhold recaps from you or anything. I'm just thinking of this as more like United States of Tara, where her daughter dresses up like a mythological Norse princess and sits in cake for perverts to masturbate to, and then they buy things off her Amazon.com wishlist. I realize that I just made myself a sexy teen and you guys a bunch of perverts, but overlook that for a second, will you?
Wait a minute, did anyone else see that show? Didn't she meet a weird kinky billionaire doing the webcam stuff? Like, he was looking to jack off to her, but then he wanted an emotional connection? Oh my god, is 50 Shades plagiarized off United States of Tara too? I completely forgot what we were talking about before.
Oh, right. Anyway, I'm not emotionally blackmailing you. I'm just suggesting that if you're in the mood for catalogue candy or emotionally distant Christmas gifts for the people in your office or family members you don't like, that link might be handy. I think it's US shipping only, though.
Anyway, the link I really want to concentrate on today is this HILARIOUS news, courtesy of The Guardian, in which E.L. states:
"I've actually written myself into the book; I play a very tiny cameo role and I might try and do that if I'm asked to ... we'll see," she said, adding: "It'd be interesting to know if people can find me in the books."I have a theory of my own. E.L. wrote herself into the book as Ana's subconscious. I've solved the mystery, folks. She has glasses and a sour expression. That's who it is. But I would love to know your theories in the comments.
The article linked above also holds this nugget in a biscuit:
"I have three people who could play Christian and I think four who could play Ana, and I'm not going to tell you any of them.""I have three people who could play Christian, and they're all Robert Pattinson in Cosmopolis, and I think four who could play Ana, but I can't tell you their names because they don't exist because Ana is ME, DAMN YOU! ME!"
Okay, so where we last left Ana and Christian, they were in Christian's apartment and Mrs. Lincoln, AKA Mrs. Robinson, has just shown up totally unannounced and they're waiting for her to get out of the elevator. Ana asks Christian if he talked to her, and he says that he did, and he told her he didn't like her going behind his back. Ana asks why Mrs. Robinson is there, and Christian says he has "no idea," but I'm pretty sure I know why. It's because no one in this book has any sense of boundaries.
Taylor comes in and actually announces Mrs. Robinson like he's the Major Domo of the living room or some shit. Ana immediately feels insecure:
Why is she so damned attractive? She's dressed entirely in black: tight jeans, a shirt that emphasizes her perfect figure, and a halo of bright, glossy hair.Being blonde isn't an item of clothing, Ana, you can't be dressed in it. Also, bright glossy hair isn't black. I always wonder how long it will take me to find the first badly constructed sentence in each chapter, and I think this one set a record by being on the first page.
Mrs. Robinson has no freaking clue why Ana would be there:
She gapes at me in shock, frozen to the spot. She blinks before finding her soft voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had company, Christian. It's Monday," she says as if this explains why she's here.Chedward is basically like "Duh, girlfriend," and Ana shows her up, I guess:
"Of course. Hello, Anastasia. I didn't know you'd be here. I know you don't want to talk to me. I accept that."
"Do you?" I assert quietly, gazing at her and taking all of us by surprise.Now, I understand what this is saying, that Ana matches Mrs. Robinson in a game of wits or power or something here, but I don't see why it says that. After all, you can't assert something quietly, can you? It would be like when Liz Lemon thought she was being bullied, and she muttered all her comebacks at the bullies. It's not assertive at all.
But I'm sure Ana could rock that perm. Oh, hey, look, blonde on brunette violence.
Now, Ana is plainly uncomfortable, and Elena has already been asked once not to butt in, so of course, Christian tells her to get gone.
"Do you want a drink?"Oh. Well, he can do that, too.
Christian gets everyone wine while Ana tries to decide if she should stay for their conversation or leave. She decides to stay, even though the entire room just dropped about twenty degrees in the space between her and Mrs. Robinson. Elena is hesitant to discuss her problem in front of Ana, but Christian makes it clear that there are no secrets between them. Turns out, Mrs. Robinson is being blackmailed, probably because there aren't enough subplots in this fucking book already.
Let's count them, shall we?
- Leila the sub trying to murder Ana and/or Christian.
- Ana's boss trying to get into her pants.
- SIP's takeover by Grey Holdings Inc. Transworld LLC
- Elena being blackmailed
- Mrs. Jones and Taylor carrying on a hot affair. Okay, maybe not this last one.
Now, multiple subplots aren't a bad thing. You know, in genres like... EPIC FANTASY. It didn't work for Twilight, it's not working here. In both series, the subplots like a murderous ex sub or a murderous vampire are thrown in after we already know that the end game has been accomplished. We know that despite their lack of chemistry on the page, Ana and Christian are going to end up together. We know by the end of the second book that Bella and Edward are going to be together forever, but in order to spin the story out into needless sequels that don't really add anything but misogyny and gender stereotyping, there needs to be some element of easily resolved danger. And don't give me that shit about the Volturi being so scary and shit. All he had to do was make Bella into a vampire. It's how the second book should have ended, and it would have had more emotional punch than watching a werewolf go through puberty and a vampire baby being eaten out of Bella's stomach.
I've gone off track again, but my point is this: if your subplots are highlighting the extremely weak or nonexistent tension in your main plot, then you have a real problem with your book. If your readers are more interested in what side characters are doing, then you need to figure out what is making your main characters so not interesting, and you need to have them do the opposite of that. That's your writing lesson for the day.
Anyway, Elena says she's being blackmailed:
Holy shit. Not what I expected out of her mouth. Christian stiffens. Has someone found out about her penchant for beating and fucking underage boys? I suppress my revulsion, and a fleeting thought about chickens coming home to roost crosses my mind.Why are you suppressing your revulsion, Ana? On the list of things it's okay to have revulsion about, having sex with kids is pretty high up. Above ten, certainly. Above five, let's say. Okay. Having sex with kids is the worst thing a person can do. So, feel as disgusted and utterly repulsed as you want, Ana. I'm on your side.
Mrs. Robinson gets out a letter, and Christian won't touch it because he doesn't want to get his fingerprints on it. Ana is still wondering if this has something to do with underaged boys. Ana wants to go, but Christian ain't having it:
I try to retrieve my hand from Christian's grasp, but he just tightens his hold and turns to gaze at me.Creeeeeepy. Why does Ana need to stand there and hear Mrs. Robinson's personal business? Ana tells Christian she's tired and she wants to go to bed, but what she really does is stand in the hallway and eavesdrop. The good news is, even though Elena came over with a pretty fucking dire problem, the second Ana is ready to eavesdrop, the conversation turns to her:
"She knows me better than anyone."
"Ouch! That hurts."
"It's the truth, Elena. I don't have to play games with her. And I mean it, leave her alone."
"What is her problem?"
"You... what we were. What we did. She doesn't understand."
"Make her understand."Whoa, what the fuck. Here the rapist (and notice, I have consistently referred to Mrs. Robinson as a rapist, commenter on the last post who tried to assert that I have some kind of blinders on to the rampant evil that is "female privilege") is trying to make the victim apologize for his own rape to his new girlfriend. Because this book wasn't fucked up enough.
They talk about his bad self-image for a few lines, then Mrs. Robinson says:
"Have a little faith in yourself. You really are quite a catch. I've told you often enough. And she seems lovely, too. Strong. Someone to stand up to you."
I can't hear Christian's response. So I'm strong, am I?Yeah, you didn't hear literally every side character praise you for that already? Because it's happened about sixty or seventy times, and the interesting thing is, you've yet to display one example of this supposed strength. It's certainly not emotional or intellectual. I'm guessing she can lift a car over her head?
Mrs. Robinson asks Christian if he misses going into the playroom, and he kicks her out. Well, they have a boring argument in which he reasserts how much Ana means to him, and then he kicks Mrs. Robinson out. So, the entire blackmail subplot seems to have been a stupid way to try and either add tension to the plot, which didn't work, or to give us exposition on how Christian feels about Ana, which was unnecessary. One might go so far as to put forth that for the author of a Mary Sue, it is unthinkable to go a few pages without reasserting the wonderfulness of her idealized self, but that's only if one is slightly into snarking fanfic. Ahem.
Before Elena leaves, Christian asks if Welch should check out this whole blackmail thing. But isn't Welch tirelessly searching for Leila the danger sub? Ana isn't worried about that, she's trying to make sure Elena isn't moving in for the kill:
I listen to them bickering, trying to figure this out. They do sound like old friends, as Christian says. Just friends. And she cares about him - maybe too much. Well, would anybody who knew him not care?
Who has two thumbs and doesn't care about Christian Grey?
When Elena leaves, Ana has to hurry to Chedward's bedroom so she doesn't get caught eavesdropping. But I bet Taylor totally caught her on the Taylorvision wired up throughout the apartment. Ana tries to get Christian to tell her a little more about his relationship with Elena, and it goes... not great:
I gaze up at him, trying to frame my question. "Will you tell me alla bout her? I am trying to understand why you think she helped you." I pause, thinking carefully about my next sentence. "I loathe her, Christian. It hink she did you untold damage. You have no friends. Did she keep them away from you?"
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair.
"Why the fuck do you want to know about her? We had a very long-standing affair, she beat the shit out of me often, and I fucked her in all sorts of ways you can't even imagine, end of story."Ladies, this is the romantic hero of your dreams. Who hasn't wanted their boyfriend to say the exact same thing to them about his ex and all the hot sex they had back in the day?
After his blowup, Christian calms down a little and asks her what she wants to know. So, of course she can't ask him now, and insists she's not jealous:
"I'm not jealous." I'm wounded that he would think that - or am I? Shit. Maybe that's what this is.That's what this is. Mystery solved, everybody. No need to thank me.
Christian tells Ana he's been in love with her since her trip to Georgia:
"I loved you then, Anastasia," he whispers. "You're the only person I'd fly three thousand miles to see."Whether you want me to or not.
"Ironically, it was Elena who pointed it out to me. She encouraged me to go to Georgia."That's not what irony means. Also, I wonder if she did that to try and sabotage the relationship. "Yeah, I'll send him to Georgia, see? And then she'll get freaked out by how stalkery he is, see? And then she'll dump him, because no dame in her right mind would keep going out with a fella who dogs her all the way to her mother's house. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!"
I think in the movie of 50 Shades, Ana should be played by Bugs Bunny in a dress.
Ana starts to think that maybe Mrs. Robinson isn't so bad, that all she wants to do is protect Christian, and then she's like, oh wait, she's a child rapist. Christian tells her again that the relationship was consensual, that he subbed for Mrs. Robinson and Mrs. Robinson subbed for him, and that she has a new, totally of-legal-age sub, but he's pretty much done discussing the subject:
"Look, Anastasia, as I said to her, she's part of my past. You are my future. Don't let her come between us, please. And quite frankly, I'm really bored of this subject. I'm going to do some work." He stands and gazes down at me. "Let it go. Please."Yeah, Ana, let it go, because he's bored of this particular relationship problem, even if it's unresolved for you.
Christian tells Ana that, oh, by the way, her new car came a day early, but she can't drive it because Leila might be hiding in the glove box or something. It's just safer for Sawyer to follow her everywhere. Christian also puts another restriction on her work day: if she's going to leave the building, she has to call him. He makes a jab about not being able to trust her, which is hilarious coming from a guy who keeps files on everyone he fucked.
Can we ever have a normal conversation without it disintegrating into an argument? It's exhausting.No shit, you should try blogging about it some time.
Ana has the fucking staggering realization that maybe moving in with someone you've only been dating for a little over a week might be a really stupid idea, but I'm not going to bore you with that because we all know that they're going to end up moving in together, anyway, and it's going to be the most perfect love ever recorded in prose.
Ana goes out onto the balcony to dramatically think about her relationship:
With a heavy sigh and a last glance at Seattle spread like cloths of gold at my feet, I decide to call Ray.Because everyone knows that when you're looking at a romantic vista, the first thing you think is, "I should call my dad."
Ana calls her dad, and they chat very briefly, and it ends like this:
"Love you, Dad."
"Love you, too, Annie."
I hang up and check my watch. It's only ten. Because of our discussion, I am feeling strangely innervated and restless.She's obviously talking about the discussion she had with Christian, but it's phrased like she's talking about the discussion with her father, in which he told her about a soccer match (because beer drinking, hard-fishin', all-American sumbitches like Ray are really into soccer) and she says things are going good with Christian, and that is like, all. Which is funny. Pronoun confusion is funny.
It's outselling Harry Potter. It's not funny.
Ana takes a shower and puts on a fancy nightie:
In the mirror, I look like a 1930's movie star. It's long, elegant - and very un-me.You can't do that. You can't be like, "I look like a movie star," in one sentence, and then be all sad trombone noise of ugliness and despair in the next one. No one is buying it, Ana. Downplaying your attractiveness doesn't make you more sympathetic to the reader, especially when you're always doing it on the heels of telling us how amazing you look.
The library is where the pool table is, so when Ana goes looking for a book, she ends up getting all flushy at the memory of having sex in there. She also finds the ruler, which she picks up and thwacks on her palm, while lamenting:
Why can't I take a little more pain for my man?I'm sorry, I just rage blacked out for a second. Did I miss anything?
Ana picks Rebecca to read, and while she's reading she falls asleep, because that is a very boring book. Well, that's not what it says in the text, it's just more my commentary on that book. Inaccessible and dry, and this is coming from a Melville fan, okay? But it's kind of funny, since Rebecca is basically an AU fanfic of Jane Eyre.
Anyway, Christian has to come in and find Ana and carry her to bed, where hours later she wakes from "a disturbing dream" and hears the piano playing. Yes, again. And she goes out and watches Christian play as he sits in his "bubble of light." Yes, again. Although Ana says:
The whole scene looks different somehow, and I realize that the piano lid is down, giving me an unhindered view.Oh, well, if the piano lid is down this time, that changes everything, and I can totally pretend I didn't already read this scene twice already. When he's done playing, he looks up and says:
"Do you have any idea how desirable you look at this moment?" he says, his voice soft.Do you mean, does she have any idea how desirable she looks in the nightgown you bought her, Christian? Thanks for propping up my theory about the "Do you have any idea"s.
"Why do we fight?" he whispers, as his teeth graze my earlobe.Because you're both emotionally stunted people who have no clue what a healthy relationship looks like because the only examples you've had are a mother who is a serial monogamist and an older women who molested you, and you're both trying to skip over any internal growth or healing in the interest of speeding to what you view as the finish line of the relationship? This is just off the top of my head.
Of course, the author can't acknowledge this, because it doesn't fit in with her Mary Sue NANOWRIMO, so instead, they get hit with insta-lust and forget what they were fighting about.
"You feel so fine under this material, and I can see everything - even this." He tugs gently on my pubic hair through the fabric, making me gasp, while his other hand fists in my hair at my nape.Hey, no fisting. It's in the sex contract. The pube pulling is fine, though. If that's what you're into.
Suddenly he rises, startling me, and he lifts me onto the piano. My feet rest on the keys, sounding discordant, disjointed notes, and his hands skim up my legs and part my knees.Well, someone has been watching Pretty Woman while they write, haven't they?
Is nothing sacred?
The lid is hard and uncompromising against my back. He lets go and pushes my legs open wider, my feet dancing over the keys, over the lower and higher notes.Then he goes down on her on the piano, which so didn't happen in Pretty Woman, so this scene isn't like that scene at all. Except for the tortured young billionaire who wants to take over a company and build something positive, rather than destroy it. And the whole sex as a business transaction thing. And the emotional distance that seems impossible to overcome, due to the hero's control freak nature.
Juuuuuuuust saying.
Christian gets up on top of the piano, and they fuck up there. Which is not a great idea, piano owners. Just a heads up, while those lids are strong, they're not made to bear the weight of two idiots vigorously humping.
After the aforementioned humping, Ana tells Christian that she would have brought him coffee or tea when he was working, but she didn't know what he liked.
"Oh, I see. Water or wine in the evening, Ana. Though maybe I should try tea."He only has water or wine because he's Christ. This entire thing is an allegory for how religion beats up on women. I see it so clearly now.
The alarm goes off with the six a.m. traffic news, and I am rudely awakened form my disturbing dream of overly blonde and dark-haired women. I can't grasp what it's about, and I'm immediately distracted because Christian Grey is wrapped around me like silk, his unruly-haired head on my chest, his hand on my breast, his leg over me, holding me down.I like how Christian has become the literal interpretation of an anchor, because it makes my job here a lot easier. Why does Ana consider being awakened from a bad dream being rude? Did she want to linger in her strange hell dream where other women dare to exist? But at least she's only extending her subconscious hatred toward overly blonde and dark-haired women. If your hair is red, or light brown, or ashy blonde, you're probably okay. But ROFLMAO to the fact that she just can't figure out what that dream could possibly mean. It's not like she doesn't spend every moment of every day obsessing over all the women who might steal her boyfriend away.
When Christian wakes, Ana asks him if he still has nightmares, and if so,
"What are your nightmares about?"Well, gee, Ana, I sure don't know. As a toddler he was once left alone for days with the decomposing corpse that used to be his mommy. I just don't know what his nightmares could possibly be about.
Christian tells Ana that he's never cried before, and then Ana thinks the subject is too dark for that early in the morning, which makes me wonder why she asked in the first place. After all, it's not like she doesn't know Christian's history, or that terrible shit happened to him. What did she honestly think a question like, "What are your nightmares about?" would result in?
She asks him if he has any good memories, and he spins her this heartwarming tale:
"I recall the crack whore baking. I remember the smell. A birthday cake, I think. For me. And then there's Mia's arrival with my mom and dad. My mom was worried about my reaction, but I adored baby Mia immediately. My first word was Mia. I remember my first piano lesson. Miss Kathie, my tutor, was awesome. She kept horses, too." He smiles wistfully.
"You said your mom saved you. How?"
His reverie is broken, and he gazes at me as if I don't understand the elementary math of two plus two.Dude, you clearly don't. You finally get him talking about happier times, and then you immediately bring it right back to, "Hey, remember when you got adopted because your real mom o.d.ed and you ended up stuck in an apartment with her dead body for days? Let's talk about that some more."
Christian tells her a little about his adopted mom, but says that it's too early in the morning
Ana asks Christian when she's going to see the personal trainer (remember, that was a part of the contract, that she had to train with Christian's "Olympic champion" kickboxing trainer, and BTW, still no kickboxing at the Olympics), and Christian says he'll check with Andrea:
"My PA."
Oh yes. "One of your many blondes," I tease him.SHE IS JUST TEASING, SEE SHE IS NOT INSECURE IN THE FACE OF BLONDE WOMEN!
"She's not mine. She works for me. You're mine."
"I work for you," I mutter sourly.Well, then he's obviously cheating on you with her. You two should break up before this book gets any longer.
Christian and Ana talk about the piano sex in front of Mrs. Jones, but they do it in an almost Navajo Windtalkers code that no one could possibly crack:
I glance behind me at the piano, savoring the memory of last night. "You put the lid of the piano back up."
"I closed it last night so as not to disturb you. Guess it didn't work, but I'm glad it didn't." Christian's lips twitch into a lascivious smile as he takes a bite of omelet. I go crimson and smirk back at him.Yeah, Mrs. Jones probably didn't pick any of that up.
By the way, is anyone else imagining Mrs. Jones as Shirley Jones in Grandma's Boy?
Just me, huh?
Mrs. Jones gives Ana her brown bag lunch, because this is the first day of kindergarten and her billionaire boyfriend can't spare the environment and buy her a damned lunch box:
I give her a shy smile, which she reciprocates warmly before leaving the great room. I suspect it's to give us some privacy.Or she just wants to get the hell out of there before she has to listen to more of your barely disguised sex talk.
"Can I ask you something?" I turn back to Christian.
His amused expression slips. "Of course."
"And you won't be angry?"
"Is it about Elena?"
"Then I won't be angry."
"But now I have a supplementary question."
"Which is about her."
He rolls his eyes. "What?" he says, and now he's exasperated.
"Why do you get so mad when I ask you about her?"Is that the supplementary question, or a question wholly unrelated to what she's going to ask and then follow up with the supplementary question? Also, why should Christian be mad at Ana for bringing up Mrs. Robinson? It's not Ana's fault that Mrs. Robinson keeps trying to shoe horn herself into Christian and Ana's relationship. She's trying to squeeze into them like a pair of jeans from her high school days she's bound and determined to wear to the class reunion, and it just ain't happening, but no one wants to tell her that while she's wrenching on the zipper with forceps.
I scowl at him. "I thought you were always honest with me."
"I endeavor to be."
I narrow my eyes at him. "That sounds like a very evasive answer."
"I am always honest with you, Ana. I don't want to play games. Well, not those sorts of games," he qualifies, as his eyes heat.Let's just take a look at Christian's track record with honesty, shall we? And we're going to do it with a little meme known as Scumbag Steve. Scumbag Steve, take it away!
I would keep going, but that kid's face just makes me angry.
The entire stupid point of the entire stupid conversation is that Ana wants to be clear that he only had sex with his subs on the weekends, so he's not used to having sex during the week. Really? We had to sit through all that, just so we could know... what, exactly? That Ana is better than all the other subs? We knew that already, by virtue of her Mary Sueness. Thanks for wasting my life, E.L..
On the drive to work - Ana can't drive her new car because danger - Christian reminds Ana that Kate's brother, Ethan, will be returning from the now seemingly eternal Barbados trip. Ana tells Christian that she'll have to go back to her apartment, and he's not real hip to that idea because danger. Ana suggests it might be easier if she had that brand new Saab Christian bought her, and he shoots that down, saying that Sawyer will pick her up and take her and Ethan to the apartment. Now, you and I both know that it's not for Ana's "protection" but for Christian's peace of mind. He's sending Sawyer along as a chaperone, so Ana doesn't have sex with Ethan. Because he trusts her.
Christian also warns Ana that she's not allowed to go anywhere one her own, and should call him if that need arises during the day. She's also supposed to email him on her Blackberry, because the idiots finally figured out that, hey, you can send emails from accounts other than the monitored ones at your place of business. You know, Christian, she has a Blackberry... you could just text back and forth, too.
Then Christian gets a call from Mrs. Robinson, telling him that the blackmail letter was from her sub and part of a sex game. Well, correction, we're never told that at all. What we get is:
"You're kidding... For a scene... When did he tell you this?" Christian chuckles, almost reluctantly. "No, don't worry. You don't have to apologize. I'm glad there's a logical explanation. It did seem a ridiculously low amount of money... I have no doubt you've something evil and creative planned for your revenge. Poor Isaac."And so on, until Ana asks who it was and Christian says she doesn't want to know. I've tried to make it very clear that I'm not a professional detective, but let me just state again, in case you mistakenly attribute my keen instincts to some kind of specialized training in the field of criminal science, that even though I figured this mystery out, I am not, in fact, employed by any law enforcement agency, nor do I solve crimes for money. Shocking, I know. Here's another mind blower: the entire blackmail subplot really was just a device to further explore how great Ana is and how Christian's love for her is super strong. That's it. A huge chunk of this chapter, a new subplot, and for nothing. Handily wrapped up once Ana and Christian have an opportunity to fight about it and fuck some more. You should definitely feel mind violated right now.
Ana gets in to work and chats with Claire the receptionist, who is black and therefore not a threat in the way every other woman in the story is. You think I'm kidding?
"Your boyfriend is so dreamy, Ana," she says, her eyes glazing over.
I am tempted to roll my eyes at her.
"He's not bad-looking." I smile and we both start laughing.Now, compare that reaction to the reaction Ana has had any time a white girl has thought Christian is attractive. Ana isn't giving Claire a bitchy nickname. She isn't criticizing her at all. In fact, she has a laugh with her about how sexy Christian is. If Claire were a white girl with blonde hair, this scenario would be a lot different, and what that tells me is that Ana doesn't find women of color to be in her league in terms of attractiveness and man-catching abilities. Or maybe Ana doesn't think Christian will stray across race lines, or maybe she doesn't think women of color are worthy of her boyfriend? There really is a lot of weird racial stuff in these books, isn't there?
Jack Hyde is super crabby, and he tells Ana to be alert for any clue as to what is going on with upper management, because he senses change on the wind. But he manages to do it in the most misogynistic way possible:
"There's something going on at senior management level, and I don't know what it is. Keep your ear to the ground, okay? If you hear anything - I know how you girls talk." He grins at me, and I feel slightly sick. He has no idea how we "girls" talk. Besides, I know what's happening.Of course, knowing what's happening brings up this other important point:
Oh, it's hard being in the know. What will he do when he finds out? My blood runs cold. Something tells me Jack will be annoyed.Something tells me your boyfriend just got you fired, and here's why. You come to the company just before it's purchased by Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc. Water & Supply Wholesale LLC. & Co., and then it does get bought out, and you're just working as this lowly assistant who, oh hey, happens to be dating the guy who bought the company, guess what, you look like a spy. And even though Christian owns the company, there's really not a lot he can do to keep one specific low-level employee on the payroll, unless he's going to obsessively monitor the hirings and firings at SIP and require his approval on each one. Okay, so that's pretty likely. But still, once the news of this gets out, you're still going to look like a spy and none of the people you work with are going to trust you. Congratulations, your boyfriend fucked you in the ass, this time without a sex contract.
There is a pointless exchange of emails with Christian, and then a paragraph break until lunchtime, when Jack asks Ana to go and get him lunch. Like a good brainwashed slave, Ana calls Christian to let him know that she's leaving the building. Which he would probably have known anyway, because remember, he's having her followed.
"Christian, Jack has asked me to get his lunch."
"Lazy bastard," Christian gripes.Um, excuse me, Mr. Billionaire, who gets your fucking lunch?
They have a little conversation while Christian works:
"Are you on your own?"
"No, there are six people staring at me right now, wondering who the hell I'm talking to."
Shit... "Really?" I gasp, panicked.
"Yes. Really. My girlfriend," he announces away from the phone.
Holy cow! They probably all thought you were gay, you know."Oh, good, I'd missed the whole "It's a tragedy if someone thinks your gay" thing that we had going for a good clip in the first book. Also, why is she panicking? It doesn't seem like a panic-type situation.
Christian says "Laters, baby," and six people in the room with him hear it. So, you know, he's not embarrassed to say that in front of people. If three of them were women, I guarantee they locked their office doors and masturbated to that.
When I exit seconds later, Sawyer is waiting on the doorstep of the building.Really? Is he a ghost?
Ghost Sawyer accompanies Ana to the deli, while she thinks about Kate, the roommate who never returned:
I miss Kate. It's only been two weeks since she left for her vacation, but it feels like the longest two weeks of my life. So much has happened - she'll never believe me when I tell her. Well, tell her the edit, NDA-compliant version.Please note, the NDA is not discussed in this book at all. So, if you picked up this book before the first one, you'd have no idea what she's talking about. Or if you let a long time go by between books. Or if you slipped and hit your head in the shower and lost the part of your brain that remembers the first book. Please tell me, by the way, if you're a neurosurgeon and you believe such an injury could be possible. Because I'd like to get one.
Ana asks Sawyer where he is when he's watching her all day, and as it turns out, he's just sitting in the coffee shop across the street, creepily watching Ana's building. Ana asks him if he knows what Leila looks like, and if he has a picture, but he says he just remembers what Leila looks like. Since Leila and Ana look so similar, I'm kind of hoping Sawyer accidentally stun guns Ana on her way out at the end of the day.
I'd really like to examine a photograph of Leila to see what she looked like before she became Ghost Girl. I wonder if Christian would let me have a copy? Yes, he probably would - for my safety. I hatch a plan, and my subconscious gloats and nods approvingly.This is just fuel for my theory that E.L.'s "cameo" is Ana's subconscious. Only the author of this book would think Ana is really smart for "planning" to ask to see a photograph. Seriously, how much planning does that require? "Hey, Christian, do you have a picture of the girl who's stalking me, so I can keep an eye out for her?" Done. No planning. But her subconscious finds this so impossibly clever, the only explanation is that the subconscious is the character E.L. admits to having been based off of herself. She spends most of the book making other characters marvel at how smart Ana is, and tells the reader over and over how smart she is, so to self-insert in order to praise Ana for her intelligence isn't that big of a leap.
Ana takes Jack his lunch and he practically molests her with his eyes, then Ethan calls and arranges to pick up the keys to the apartment from Ana. He says, "Laters," when they get off the phone, because it's a fucking epidemic. If anyone you know or love starts saying "Laters," you must isolate them immediately. If they attack, they can be subdued by removing the head or destroying the brain.
Yes, I did make a Shaun of The Dead reference, you're welcome.
Ana emails Christian and they plan that he will pick her up from work to go meet Ethan at the apartment, and then they'll all go out for drinks and a good time together.
I daydream briefly about what he might do to me but find myself shifting in my chair. My subconscious gazes at me disapprovingly over her half-moon specs - get on with your work.
Yeah, you see it now, don't you.
Claire the receptionist calls Ana to tell her that a hot guy is waiting to see her. It's Ethan, by the way.
Holy shit - sun-bleached blond hair, a tan to die for, and glowing hazel eyes gaze up at me from the green leather couch.That's a hell of a good-looking couch.
As soon as he sees me, his mouth drops open and he's on his feet coming toward me.Are you still imagining the couch? Because I am. I'm just imagining this green couch with a tan and glowing eyes running toward her on little tiny couch legs.
Ethan gets the keys from Ana and says "Laters" twice during the entire process. There's a paragraph break, and Ana gets a call from Christian to say he's waiting downstairs. Then she says goodbye to Jack, who is in a better mood, and she wonders why "he" can't be that way all the time, but I can't tell if she's talking about Jack or Christian, because I can't trust context clues in a book with this much pronoun confusion.
The Audi is parked at the curb, and Christian climbs out as I approach. He's taken off his jacket, and he's wearing his gray pants, my favorite ones that hang from his hips - in that way.I've missed those pants, as well. This entire chapter was like walk down memory lane, if memory lane was in Centralia, PA.
Sounds legit.
They pull up to Ana's apartment building, and Christian gets a phone call that keeps him from going up to Ana's apartment with her. This is because, in the grand tradition of this book and its predecessor, every chapter is thirty pages of pointless day-to-day bullshit, with an allegedly exciting event jammed onto the last paragraph. In this chapter, that allegedly exciting event (that everyone probably already saw coming) is that Leila is in Ana's apartment with a gun.
And that's the end of the chapter.


text:
- Home
- P&O Cruises P&O Cruises
- P&O - Pacific Explorer P&O - Pacific Explorer
- Moreton Island Cruise Moreton Island Cruise
$696total per person Show cabin types
Interior StateroomWake up with your loved ones! Interior rooms are perfect for both families and couples. With all the action on deck...
Interior Stateroom - Category IFIF
$696total per person
Interior Stateroom - Category IEIE
$696total per person
Interior Stateroom - Category IDID
$709total per person
Interior Stateroom - Category ICIC
$724total per person
Interior Stateroom - Category IBIB
$751total per person
Interior Stateroom - Category IAIA
$780total per person
$743total per person Show cabin types
Obstructed Ocean View StateroomOceanview rooms feature a porthole so you won't miss a single ocean view. With all the action on deck and ashore,...
$743total per person Show cabin types
Ocean View StateroomOceanview rooms feature a window so you won't miss a single ocean view. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's...
$928total per person Show cabin types
Balcony StateroomOpen your doors and let the outside in! Make the most of your time at sea with your own private Balcony Room, it's...
$1205total per person Show cabin types
Mini Suite with BalconyFresh air and far out views are all part of the furniture in Mini-Suites. With all the action on deck and ashore,...
Interior Stateroom
Wake up with your loved ones! Interior rooms are perfect for both families and couples. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's nice to know there's a cosy, clean sanctuary with your name on it, equipped with everything you need. Interior rooms are available in a range bedding combinations including twin, double, triple and quad share.
Interior rooms feature all of the luxuries of a hotel room including:
- Private ensuite, shower only
- Flat screen TV
- Telephone
- Wardrobe, desk with chair
- Safety deposit box
- Air-conditioning with personal controls
- Fridge
Obstructed Ocean View Stateroom
Oceanview rooms feature a porthole so you won't miss a single ocean view. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's nice to know there's a cosy, clean sanctuary with your name on it, equipped with everything you need. Oceanview rooms are available in a range bedding combinations including twin, double, triple and quad share.
Obstructed Oceanview rooms feature all of the luxuries of a hotel room including:
- A porthole
- Private ensuite, shower only
- Flat screen TV
- Telephone
- Wardrobe, desk with chair
- Safety deposit box
- Air-conditioning with personal controls
- Fridge
Ocean View Stateroom
Oceanview rooms feature a window so you won't miss a single ocean view. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's nice to know there's a cosy, clean sanctuary with your name on it, equipped with everything you need. Oceanview rooms are available in a range of bedding combinations including twin, double, triple and quad share, (including bunk beds). Bedding configuration varies depending on cabin number.
Oceanview rooms feature all of the luxuries of a hotel room including:
- A window
- Private ensuite, shower only
- Flat screen TV
- Telephone
- Wardrobe, desk with chair
- Safety deposit box
- Air-conditioning with personal controls
- Fridge
Balcony Stateroom
Open your doors and let the outside in! Make the most of your time at sea with your own private Balcony Room, it's the best way to enjoy all the comfort of our onboard rooms and all the beauty of living on the ocean. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's nice to know there's a cosy, clean sanctuary with your name on it that's equipped with everything you need.
Balcony rooms feature all of the luxuries of a hotel room including:
- Private balcony with outdoor furniture
- Private ensuite, shower only
- Flat screen TV
- Telephone
- Wardrobe, desk with chair
- Safety deposit box
- Air-conditioning with personal controls
Mini Suite with Balcony
Fresh air and far out views are all part of the furniture in Mini-Suites. With all the action on deck and ashore, it's nice to know there's a cosy, clean sanctuary with your name on it, equipped with everything you need.
Mini-Suites feature all of the luxuries of a hotel room, including:
- Private balcony and spacious living area
- Floor to ceiling windows
- Bathroom with shower over bath
- Flat screen TV
- Telephone
- Safety deposit box
- Wardrobe with dressing area, desk with chair
- Fridge
- Air-conditioning with personal controls
- Priority embarkation and disembarkation
- Pillow concierge (choice of up to 6 different types of pillows)
- Welcome aboard letter from Hotel Director
- Welcome glass of sparkling wine on arrival
- Fresh fruit bowl provided in suite
- Complimentary bath robe and slippers
- Turndown service
- Complimentary shoe shine service
Deck 5
Interior Stateroom - Category IF
Multiple Decks
Interior Stateroom - Category IE
Multiple Decks
Interior Stateroom - Category ID
Multiple Decks
Interior Stateroom - Category IC
Multiple Decks
Interior Stateroom - Category IB
Multiple Decks
Interior Stateroom - Category IA
Deck 8
Obstructed View Stateroom - Category OV
Multiple Decks
Ocean View Stateroom - Category OG
Deck 8
Ocean View Stateroom - Category OF
Multiple Decks
Ocean View Stateroom - Category OE
Multiple Decks
Ocean View Stateroom - Category OD
Multiple Decks
Balcony Stateroom - Category BE
Multiple Decks
Balcony Stateroom - Category BD
Multiple Decks
Balcony Stateroom - Category BC
Multiple Decks
Balcony Stateroom - Category BB
Multiple Decks
Deluxe Balcony Stateroom - Category BA
Deck 10
Mini Suite with Balcony - Category MB
Multiple Decks
Mini Suite with Balcony - Category MA
Please note: All prices featured are per person (unless otherwise stated), and include non commission fares (taxes, fees and port expenses). Prices and availability are subject to change due to changes made by the Cruise Companies. Prices quoted are based on payments made via BPAY or bank transfer. Visa and Mastercard payments incur a 1.5% transaction fee.
Day 1Sydney Depart: Thu, Dec 5, 2019 @ 16:00
Day 2At Sea
Fri, Dec 6, 2019
Day 3Moreton Island
Arrive: Sat, Dec 7, 2019 @ 08:00
Depart: Sat, Dec 7, 2019 @ 20:30
Day 4At Sea
Sun, Dec 8, 2019
Day 5Sydney Arrive: Mon, Dec 9, 2019 @ 08:00
Onboard experience
The Pantry
The choice is yours here in The Pantry! Choose from 9 dining options.
- McGregors Garden - Make friends with salad at McGregor's - serving up a selection of fresh salads that change daily.
- Nic & Toni's - Serving Mediterranean dining options with fresh seafood and pasta dishes.
- Curry House - Taste the flavours of the world's most exotic places at Curry House, a smorgasbord of classic curry flavours and authentic dishes.
- Mexicana - Mexican tacos filled with favorites like homemade salsas and pickles, chili, guacamole, fresh lime and cheese. Yes please!
- Kettle & Bun - Kettle & Bun is serving up freshly baked bread, expertly crafted sandwiches, great tasting salads and mouth-watering soups.
- Sugar Bar - Indulge in a sweet selection of perfectly baked cakes, flaky buttery pastries and delightful individual desserts at Sugar Bar.
- Hook's Fish & Chips - The local fish and chip shop, serving up crispy battered fish and hot chips with the perfect amount of crunch.
- STIX - Stir-fries, sizzling noodles and soups. Indulge your passion for Asia's finest cuisines with the intriguing menu at Stix.
- Fat Cow- Vegetarians beware. At Fat Cow we're serving up the finest cuts possible to send meat lovers into a flutter.
Waterfront Restaurant
Technically all of restaurants are on the waterfront, but you get the idea. With over 40 à la carte menu items for breakfast, lunch and dinner, this modern Australian restaurant serves up a sophisticated selection of both classic dishes and cutting edge cuisine. Plus you can keep the kids happy with our mini menu. Offering a huge choice of menu options that are both nutritious and sure to please, the kids specials menu changes daily, so even the fussiest eaters will find something they'll love. The Waterfront restaurant is available on all P&O ships and is open for breakfast and dinner every day and lunch most days.
When it comes to food, Italians sure are passionate. The chefs at Angelo's are no different.
From the first bite to the last mouthful, the menu at Angelo's is Italian food done the right way. Think soul warming traditional dishes with a delicious modern twist. Surrounded by images of Latin legends captured by one of Italy's most famous photographers, Angelo Frontoni, the restaurant is the perfect setting to enjoy la dolce vita as you indulge in a meal to remember.
Good food takes time, so that's why Angelo's is open for dinner only. Book a table and the chefs will spend the day preparing your set menu so you can spend the day dreaming of a feast shared with loved ones, new friends and old favourites.
Dragon Lady
Immerse yourself in the intoxicating flavours of Asia at our brand new restaurant, Dragon Lady.
From steaming baskets of dumplings to sizzling plates of spicy stir-fry, Dragon Lady is bringing the heat. With a sultry mix of dark timbers and midnight blue tones, it boasts an intimate and mysterious setting. Be seduced by the exotic scents and spices of a menu inspired by Australians' passion for Asian cuisine. Bursting with flavour, every mouthful promises a tantalising night in the Orient. Open every night for dinner, featuring a fixed menu giving guests the opportunity to enjoy a sensual feast of Chinese, Thai, Indian or Japanese.
400 Gradi
Foodies rejoice! Pacific Explorer will be home to a new Pizzeria, 400 Gradi, overseen by famed and award-wining Melbourne pizza chef Johnny Di Francesco who won the Best Pizza in the World award in 2014. Buon appetite!
Following on from the success of Salt grill by Luke Mangan across we're excited to introduce the new casual al fresco outlet Luke's on Pacific Explorer, serving up some seriously delicious burgers.
Shell & Bones
Enjoy a bounty of sumptuous seafood at our new venue, Shell & Bones. Featuring crab from Queensland, blue mussels from South Australia and much more, this restaurant is set to reel in guests. Or, take a pick of items off the grill with beef short ribs and roasted chicken. Alongside, there are vegetarian options as well, with a sweet treat for all to finish.
For a caffeine fix or sweet treat anytime of the day, head straight to The Café. Charlies Bar is snack central.
New Zealand Ice Cream
Why stop at one scoop? Try all your favourite flavours onboard at New Zealand Natural ice cream.
Room Service
If you don't feel like eating out, you can order in with our room service menu. Breakfast in bed anyone?
Bars and Lounges
The Bonded Store
We're excited to announce a new Partnership with the Archie Rose Distilling Company. You can enjoy their incredible spirits as well as participate in special gin making classes
Explorer Hotel
Make the friendly Explorer Hotel your new local. With comfortable converted window box sets, it's the perfect place to curl up and read a book or relax over a cocktail.
Pool Bar
Sip the day away by the pool – you're never going to feel so relaxed.
Marquee Bar
Take in a performance or even a game of bingo (charges apply for bingo).
Charlies Bar
This is a great spot to sit back with a snack or drink and take in all of the action and entertainment happening in the Atrium.
Blue Bar
The Blue Room – a New Orleans "speakeasy" lounge bar – decorated with velvet and chrome furnishings is an opulent space ideal for an evening pre or post dinner drink. Passengers can spend the evening listening to live music, anything from funk to Blues, and Jazz to RnB.
Adult Only Activities
Black Circus takes onboard entertainment to new levels with exclusive dinner and show packages and a glamorous cabaret style show. It's the ultimate night out full of spectacle and outrageous fun!
Love Riot Show: A hand-picked cast of elite performers from around the globe will take you on a silicon dipped, high gloss, high-octane experience which is bound to take you hostage, capture your heart and get your pulse racing
*Charges apply to attend the Love Riot Show
$15 is general admission and includes a complimentary cocktail and souvenir glass. $29 is VIP and includes dinner, a complimentary cocktail and souvenir glass
It's a laugh-a-minute at the adults only sit-down comedy club, the perfect place to kick back and relax onboard, while enjoying a the antics of local comedians.
Calmest spot in the ocean - Leave your worries behind when you enter The Oasis. It's just like it sounds-a happy, peaceful escape that's all about the downtime. A child-free refuge where the only soundtrack is the ship's soothing wake. At The Oasis you can treat yourself to a fancy cocktail or get P&O bartenders to recommend a glass of something special. It's the perfect place to soak up the sun and settle into a deckchair with your favorite book.
But don't take our word for it, get onboard and pull up a day bed!
There are roulette and blackjack tables, gaming lessons for beginners and poker machines to bring even more luck to your cruise.
- Jackpot Bingo - Think you have lady luck on your side? Try your hand at Jackpot Bingo and you could win big.
- Board Games - Get the family together to play a board game. Spend big with Monopoly or spell it out with Scrabble. The choice is yours.
Kids Club
Keep the kids happy! P&O Cruises offer 4 kids clubs for different age group from 2 - 17 yrs.
- 2 - 6 yrs - Turtle Cove - A flipping good time This is the place for the smallest member in your family! P&O just know they're going to be all smiles when they spend time in Turtle Cove. P&O puts their best thinking caps on when P&O created the range of games, toys and activities for the kids aged 2-6 years old, which means they're not only fun but they're educational too! Plus, when playing in Turtle Cove your kids will be well supervised by P&O's experienced youth staff. P&O thinks that's pretty cool! From DUPLO® play centre* to arts and crafts, theme nights to talent shows – the hardest part of Turtle Cove is deciding what to do first. Please make sure your child is toilet trained, otherwise they won't be able to join in the fun at Turtle Cove.
- 7 - 10 yrs - Shark Shack - Big bites of fun There is so much fun for your kids to sink their teeth into at the Shark Shack, P&O's special club created for kids aged 7 -10 years. It's the perfect place for them to make new friends and play with kids their own age. Plus P&O puts their best thinking caps on when P&O created the awesome range of games, toys and activities, which means they're not only fun but educational, too. Plus, P&O's experienced Youth Staff are always there to lend a hand and supervise the fun. P&O has scavenger hunts, jewellery making, computer games, dance lessons, LEGO® activities* and theme nights – just to name a few. With so much to do at Shark Shack the kids will be fast asleep before their heads hit the pillow each night.
- 11 - 14 yrs - HQ - Hang out headquarters P&O knows that teenagers can be hard to please on holiday but when you're on a P&O cruise, you don't have to worry! That's because P&O has created HQ. It's the ultimate chill zone made just for them so they can have the coolest holiday ever. P&O thinks (and P&O knows they'll agree) that it's the place to be for kids and teens aged 11 -14. They can make new friends, play video games, check out movies and hang out with P&O's incredible Youth Staff. Plus if that's not enough, there is a whole range of activities available. From singing their hearts out at karaoke sessions to commanding the spotlight at the talent show, filmmaking to playing in a rock and roll band – they'll be having so much fun at HQ you'll be begging them to come hang out with the family!
- 15 - 17 yrs - HQ+ - Cool + HQ+ is the coolest hang on the ship. Specially created for 15-17 year olds so the teens can leave their little brothers and sisters behind and chill out with people their own age. P&O designed this space with them in mind and that's why they have their own special lounge where they can have the best holiday ever! It's a place to make new friends, play video games, check out movies and interact with P&O's incredible Youth Staff. If that's not enough, there is a whole range of extra activities available. P&O's pick for best activity? P&O thinks that Broadshorts is pretty great. Together with Stop Motion Pro P&O gets the kids behind the camera and help them make their very own movie onboard the ship. It doesn't get better than that!
Night time childcare
From 10.30pm until 1am each evening, toilet trained kids three and over can hang out in the Kid's Clubs for a nominal fee per child, per hour, with a special reduced rate per additional child. Check with Kid's Club staff for details and prices.
**Please note: toilet trained children two and up are welcome without adult supervision and infants under two may access the centre as long as they are accompanied by a parent/guardian who is over the age of 18
Any child using the pools must be supervised by a parent /guardian at all times. For public safety reasons, children in nappies (including swim nappies) and children who are not toilet trained are not permitted in the public swimming pools and spas.
Be the teachers pet - Have you always wanted to know how to make the perfect latte or dance the cha cha? When you cruise with P&O, you can do both! With a range of classes onboard, we'll teach you to master all sorts of skills. Become a vineyard master at P&O wine master classes, enjoy the aromas of freshly ground beans and learn the art of making coffee or shake it 'til you make it with P&O cocktail class. If you're more interested in getting your body moving, sign up for a fitness class or grab a partner and take to the floor with P&O fun dance classes – bet you've never done that before! Last but not least you can unleash your inner creative at P&O arts and crafts class. The best thing about P&O classes? You get to take your new skill home with you.
Check Pacific Daily for class details.
P&O Exclusive Activities
Life on the edge - P&O Edge is not for the faint hearted. If you're up for some extra adventure, join the adrenalin junkies at P&O Edge Adventure Park. It's Australia's largest adventure park at sea, and take it from us, it's awesome!
With up to 19 exciting activities you can get really get your heart pumping. Reach the top with the funnel climb, don't look down when crossing the slackline or take a leap of faith on the flying fox.
- Rock Climbing - Whether you're a rookie or a rock star at climbing, the hand and foot holds on our Rock Climbing wall can be adapted to help every level of climber reach new heights. Jaw-dropping views guaranteed.
- Cargo Net Race - Challenge yourself, or a friend, to a race to the top of the ship in the Cargo Net Race. You'll be rewarded for your efforts with a scenic view on the way down.
- P&O Bow Ladder Climb - Climb up past the iconic P&O logo to the top of the ship's bow with the P&O Bow Ladder Climb. There's even a photo platform nearby to capture that postcard perfect shot to share with friends.
- Big Screen Experience - Scour to the top of the outdoor movie screen onboard. You can even add a personalised message to the screen for the ultimate Facebook moment.
- Funnel Abseil - Reach new heights and get your adrenaline pumping with a full scale 10 metre Funnel Abseil off the ship's aft funnel.
- Flying Fox - Jump aboard the Flying Fox for a bird's eye view of the ship and surrounding scenery as you zip on an 80 metre line from deck to deck.
- Segway Obstacle Course - Learn to ride these innovations and complete the course designed for beginners to experts.
- Slackline Surfing - Perfect the art of tight rope walking without the nerve-shattering heights with Slackline Surfing. This low-lying flat line ropewalk is the perfect entre?e into tight rope walking.
- Titanic Moment - Create your own Titanic Moment as you re-enact the iconic lean and arm stretch pose at the front of the ship's bow.
- Walk The Plank - Come on up to Deck 15 then Walk the Plank out to the edge of the ship. Test your nerves, how far will you go!
- Bungee Tramp - Jump, leap and tumble as you take in picture perfect views on the Bungee Tramp, which sits 4 metres above the ship's top deck.
- Laser Tag - Put on your war paint for a 30-minute game of Laser Tag! Gather the family or challenge your fellow passengers to a virtual battle surrounded by the ocean.
- Crows Nest - Ascend to the top of our purpose built structure and be a real sailor looking out to sea. Get the best views and fantastic photo opportunities from the photo department.
- High Ropes - Put your fancy footwork to the test as your navigate your way through a 3 metre high obstacle course in the High Ropes Rig.
Pacific Adventures has a minimum age of 6yrs on all activities. Note that to safely participate, you must also be able to correctly fit in the appropriate PPE. Children age from 6-17yrs. Adult ages from 18+
For safety reasons, weight restrictions apply to P&O Edge activities. Pacific Adventures may ask you for your weight before participating in an activity. Note, a maximum weight of 110kg on all activities. Exclusion to this is Bungy trampoline which is maximum of 90kg.
Entertainment - Shows and Performances
Fancy a show after dinner? Our original production shows are choreographed by a leading Australian production company and designed exclusively for P&O Cruises audiences.
Performed in the impressive two-storey The Marquee theatre and with a number of different shows* featured on each ship, you'll be spoilt for choice.
- Off The Charts - A concert-style production offering a roller coaster ride through some of the musical smash hits of the naughties. Off the Charts features the cool sounds of artists such as Adele, Amy Winehouse, Bruno Mars & Taylor Swift. Urban Funk, modern soul and cool pop vibes ensures it's a high energy, feel good experience for everyone.
- Disconnected - Set in an inner-city cafe, DisConnected is a thought-provoking production show that uses music and dialogue to explore the complexities of social media and technology in today's world.
- The Very Last Night Show - Based on a live-to-air TV show for a live studio audience, The Very Last Night Show offers true variety with design elements reminiscent of a typical late night television program.
- Life As We Know It - A modern music performance piece, Life as We Know It reflects on the various aspects of life including love, loss, fear and joy. The soundtrack includes a mix of contemporary music and the imagery reflects the emotional, reflective and entertaining moments in various phases of life.
- The Velvet Rope - A mix of song, dance and drama, The Velvet Rope is set in a nightclub of the 1930s. This is a story of hope and perseverance, a lesson in not always listening to others but listening to yourself and a joyful mix of music blends linking the romance of troubled times in the 1930s with the slick music grooves of the 21st century.
- Slumber - P&O beds can be a place of rest, of nurturing and revitalising. They can also be a place of struggle and torment. A place to dream, to love, to play, to escape to. This original new production has a bed as the central theme and touches on these aspects with a dream-like treatment. Featuring a broad mix of contemporary songs, Slumber is bound to be an entertaining treat for all.
*Production shows may vary from ship to ship dependent on itineraries
ADULTS ONLY Love Riot **: A hand-picked cast of elite performers from around the globe will take you on a silicon dipped, high gloss, high-octane experience which is bound to take you hostage, capture your heart and get your pulse racing - Held in Black Circus.
**Charges apply to attend the Love Riot Show. $15 is general admission and includes a complimentary cocktail and souvenir glass. $29 is VIP and includes dinner, a complimentary cocktail and souvenir glass
- Big entertainment day or night. The Big Screen shows sporting events, movies and even Wii games.
Room Service
It's the little things that make a good holiday great, Let P&O Cruises clear your to-do list. Holiday mode starts now. Sit back, relax – P&O Cruises will take care of everything. Here's a sample of a few ways the room service can help you make the most out of your cruise.
Included In Your Fare:
- At your service: Relax – you're on holiday. No need to make the bed or clean the bathroom. Your stewart will do it for you, daily! P&O Cruises know that fresh towels are one of life's little luxuries. Speak to your stewart if you want extra towels replaced with fresh ones.
- Pillow Concierge: If you need additional pillows or want to select a hypo-allergenic pillow or another type of pillow – just ask the staff. There's a selection of three different pillows for you to rest your head. Additional doonas or blankets are also available if needed.
- Say OMMM: Namaste. If you prefer to do your exercises in the comfort of your room, alone on deck, or even ashore on the beach – let P&O Cruises know and a yoga mat will be delivered to your room.
For a little extra:
- Hungry or Thirsty? There is a full food and beverage in-room menu in your room. There is a breakfast menu, an all day snack menu as well as a beverage menu for in-room enjoyment. (Fee's apply). Plus, our in-room breakfast menu is included in your fare if you are staying in a suite or the penthouse.
- Looking Sharp: Forgot to iron your shirt? No worries! The super express service can have your shirt back to you in 30 mins. $5 per shirt.
- We'll do the dirty work: P&O Cruises offer laundry service so you can spend more time enjoying your holiday. There is a laundry bag and price list in your wardrobe. Just fill in the form and the staff will come and pick it up so you don't have to miss a moment of cruise fun.
Shopaholics have good reason to get excited. Whether it's window-shopping or a shopping spree, this floating marketplace is yours to discover. With top brands in fragrance, cosmetics, fashion, jewellery and accessories, you can top up your holiday wardrobe or fill your suitcase with fashionable finds. Plus, P&O is selling the latest in digital cameras and equipment. Get behind the lens and capture your special moments while onboard and beyond. If fashion and cameras aren't up your alley, there is no reason to leave the ship empty handed. Visit P&O Tax & Duty Free Shopping+ stores and you can save up to 50% off the recommended retail price.
Home by P&O
In a first for P&O , Pacific Explorer will feature a meticulously curated homewares store complete with beautiful vases, cushions, candles and more.
+Tax and duty-free shopping is not available on Australian coastal cruises, except Queensland cruises featuring Willis Island.
Zone out - Leave the worries of life behind and surrender to the most refreshing gift of all; self-renewal. P&O Spa's have a whole menu of spa experiences for you to enjoy while onboard. P&O Spa's qualified therapists are fully dedicated to renewing your mind, body and spirit through our range of utterly decadent and relaxing therapies. Why not clear the mind with a massage, rejuvenate your skin with a facial or try acupuncture and reflexology? There is a full range of services for men too.
If you want to get a couples massage or visit the spa with your partner, you can. And if you're not feeling quite ready to strut your stuff poolside, we've got you covered with spray-tans, body scrubs, and the full-service range of a hair and beauty salon. The Spa is open daily so you can book an appointment at a time that suits you.
Sports & Fitness
Aqua Fitness - Keeping fit while floating on the deep blue sea is easy. Get your heart pumping in our onboard gym. Or zen-out to the lapping waves while you do a yoga class on P&O sunlit deck. With Aqua Fitness, the way you exercise is up to you. P&O fitness Centre features weight equipment, aerobic conditioning equipment and professional staff that will keep you working hard or help you with anything you need. If classes are more your thing; we offer yoga, pilates, indoor cycling and boot camp. Plus all ships have open-air running track. Take a morning jog in the middle of the ocean with salt wind in your hair and breathtaking views. What could be better motivation than that?
Deck Games - Try your hand at P&O huge selection of deck games including barefoot bowls, golf putting, table tennis, quoits and more.
Pacific Explorer offers 2 x swimming pool and 2 x hot-tubs on Deck 12.
Another pool and a couple more hot-tubs can be found in the Oasis Adults area and part of the Spa.
Any child using the pools must be supervised by a parent /guardian at all times. For public safety reasons, children in nappies (including swim nappies) and children who are not toilet trained are not permitted in the public swimming pools and spas.
Themed Parties
P&O Cruises have four new themed parties you won't be able to stop yourself from joining, not that it was ever an option.
White/Nero Party - on all cruises
Bring your whitest and brightest outfits to this top deck whiteout featuring a DJ, live music, performers, white body paint, white cocktails and more!
Cruises out of New Zealand will celebrate the nation's most beloved colour with Nero - The P&O All Black Party. Don your favourite black wardrobe pieces or All Blacks gear and head to the top deck for a blackout party!
Gatsby Party - on all cruises 3+ nights
Live the extravagant style of Gatsby in real life. Inspired by the roaring twenties, P&O recreate an evening of fascinating style, sparkling drinks, jazz music and opulence. This high end cocktail party will be complete with themed music, entertainment and classic cocktails.
Back to School - on all cruises 5+ nights
Get a hit of nostalgia and go back to school for a night of A+ fun. Features include a giant blackboard wall, graffiti decor and even a principal handing out detention slips for the class clowns. Get back to the good old days where your biggest worry was what to have for lunch.
Vegas Pool
Get glammed up and join us on the pool deck for an afternoon of sin (Sin City, that is). This pool party will be packed with high-energy music, Vegas style cocktails and performers. Think over-the-top, high-energy vibes you can only find in Vegas.
Water Activites
Splish, Splash & Slide The Day Away - Take it up a notch with P&O's seriously splashy waterpark. Let the kids play the day away at P&O's zany waterpark with fun interactive water features or embrace your inner child with a ride one of our waterslides, made for all ages.
- 2 Waterslides - Ride P&O's all new waterslides! Snaking off the ships funnels, P&O's waterslides deliver meters of bright disco lights, sound systems and even have opaque areas that deliver a whole new level of thrill.
- Family Fun - P&O's interactive waterpark is fun for the whole family. Designed for all ages, it's a great way to cool off and spend time together.
- A P&O First - P&O's new waterslide and waterpark is a first for P&O Cruises.
Ship info
Hold on to your hats because Pacific Explorer is coming in 2017. P&O's newest addition, will be joining our fleet with fresh designs reflecting the best of modern Australia.
- Vessel: P&O - Pacific Explorer
- Year: 1997
- Beam: 106
- Cruising speed: 19
- Gross Tonnage: 77,441
- Passenger Capacity: 1,998
- 2 Waterslides
- 400 Gradi
- Barefoot Bowls at sea
- Black Circus Stage Show
- Cabana Pool Deck Style
- Rock Climbing
- The Pantry Dining Avenue
- Walk the Plank
- Waterpark
- Zip Lining
P&O - Pacific Explorer - Deck Plans
Cruise reviews
3 passengers have reviewed this ship
- Food
- Entertainment
- Cabin
- Crew
- Price
- Value
"Summer sojourn"
Just love this ship, staff are excellent, food was divine especially Dragon Lady and entertainment was great. Moreton Island was just beautiful and snorkelling the wrecks was a real hi light. So many fish species and clear water.Read more
Rodney S - Feb 2019
Was this helpful?
"Winter getaway"
Only 4 nights which wasn't enough. We loved this cruise, loved the ship and had an amazing time on the whale watching shore trip. Love the fit out of "Dora" and will definitely be back on board this beautiful shipRead more
Rodney S - Feb 2019
Was this helpful?
Cruise code: X962
- Receive up to $200 onboard credit per cabin. May not apply to all cabin categories.
- Upgrade to the Value Fare and pay only $1 per person deposit to secure your cruise!
- Private ensuite
- Flat screen TV for in-cabin entertainment
- In cabin safe
- Full breakfast
- Buffet or a la carte lunch menu
- Buffet or 4 course a la carte dinners
- Musical stage shows and entertainment
- Special guest entertainers
- Latest release movies (in cabin and on big screen)
- Choice of Bars and Lounges
- Fully supervised childrens programs for ages 3 to 17 years
Terms and conditions for this cruise
You might also like these related cruise deals
You might also like these related cruise deals
Did you know?
Most cabins accommodate up to 4 guests. You might need several cabins.
No worries!
We can still help you.
- You will need to complete this booking first. Enquire now and proceed to the final steps.
- Once done, we will offer you a way to come back and book the next cabin.
Easier to talk? 1300584645

subset: commoncrawl


text:
IDRsolutions develop a Java PDF Viewer and SDK, an Adobe forms to HTML5 forms converter, a PDF to HTML5 converter and a Java ImageIO replacement. On the blog our team post anything interesting they learn about.
Mark Stephens Follow Mark Stephens has been working with Java and PDF since 1999 and has diversified into HTML5, SVG and JavaFX. He also enjoys speaking at conferences and has been a Speaker at user groups, Business of Software, Seybold and JavaOne conferences. He has a very dry sense of humor and an MA in Medieval History for which he has not yet found a practical use.
chrome debug output
0 sec read


text:
by LZ Granderson
(CNN) — Celebrity mugshots are hilarious, aren't they?
The disheveled hair, the smeared makeup, the ridiculous attempt by some to still try to look "hot" despite the circumstances. The most iconic post-arrest shot is Nick Nolte circa 2002. He looks as if he went through a carwash riding on the hood. The mugshot even has its own Twitter handle.
Yeah, it's all fun and games until you read why these celebrities were arrested in the first place.
Nolte was brought in for suspicion of driving under the influence. Wynonna Judd was arrested in 2003, accused of the same thing. As was Nicole Richie in 2006 and Kiefer Sutherland in 2007.
Knicks point guard Jason Kidd is lucky to be alive. He was arrested in 2012 after running into a utility pole.
Todd Harrell, the bassist for the band 3 Doors Down, is also fortunate to be alive. In April, he was charged with vehicular homicide when the car he was driving clipped a pickup and crashed into a retaining wall. Unfortunately, the truck he hit swerved out of control, hit a guardrail, dropped down an embankment and overturned, killing the driver.
When that happens, the mugshots of celebrity drunken drivers become less funny.
This week, the National Transportation Safety Board recommended all 50 states decrease the blood alcohol content threshold for drunken driving from 0.08% to 0.05%. The goal is to have zero deaths from alcohol-related car accidents. Noble but unattainable if our attitude about drinking and driving doesn't change.
In 2010, adults self-reported drinking and driving about 112 million times. Only 1.4 million drivers — about 1% –were arrested. In other words, if someone has had one too many drinks and gets behind the wheel of a car 100 times in a year, they might get caught once. How do you convince a nation that gets away with a crime 99% of the time that it's a serious matter?
We can talk about the deaths, but let's be honest — more than 10,000 people dying each year because of alcohol-impaired crashes is sad.
But more teens die from texting and driving than drinking and driving. So, shouldn't we put more energy into that instead?
To really move the needle on any issue of importance, it helps to make it a personal matter as it is a legal one.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 85% of self-reported drunken drivers were binge drinkers. For men, that constitutes at least five drinks in an hour. Five drinks raises your level to .10%. So instead of using resources to lobby for a new federal law that lowers the threshold, the NTSB should direct its influence on helping states enforce the current one.
If more people were caught, the less other people would feel that they could get away with it.
Lowering the blood alcohol threshold does nothing if we don't increase the number of checkpoints so people can be arrested for breaking the current law. And you could fund this increase in checkpoints by doing something the World Health Organization recommends: imposing a tax on alcoholic beverages.
For a 180-pound man, as little as two beers could cause his blood alcohol content to reach 0.05. How many elected officials are really going to want to fight food and beverage lobbyists in addition to bar and restaurant owners for that? A slight increase in price to fund an initiative to arrest drunken drivers will not only discourage binge drinking (because it's more expensive to do so), but it is a message that's easier to sell to a nation that consumed 6.3 billion gallons of beer in 2011.
Maybe then instead of dismissing the Noltes and Lindsay Lohans of the world as being stupid enough to get caught, the public would view celebrities who are arrested for drunken driving as reminders that they could be caught, too.
Because at the end of the day, the NTSB can try to pass all the laws it wants, but if people don't get caught, then the law is toothless. That's part of the reason why celebrity mugshots are so funny because those fools got caught.
But drunken driving would be less funny to everyone if more people were greeted at a checkpoint with a Breathalyzer.
Editor's note: LZ Granderson, who writes a weekly column for CNN.com, was named journalist of the year by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association and was a 2011 Online Journalism Award finalist for commentary. He is a senior writer and columnist for ESPN the Magazine and ESPN.com. Follow him on Twitter @locs_n_laughs.
Follow @NewPghCourier on Twitter https://twitter.com/NewPghCourier
Like us at https://www.facebook.com/pages/New-Pittsburgh-Courier/143866755628836?ref=hl
Download our mobile app at http://www.appshopper.com/news/new-pittsburgh-courier


text:
Dialing 911 during an emergency is something your square parents would do. Modern damsels in distress break out their iPhones and boot up the Rescue Dogs 911 App.
Click to viewHowever, as Andy Samberg learns in this SNL Digital Short, there are always a few issues with new apps—bugs and whatnot—and the Rescue Dogs 911 app is no exception. It works eventually though, with vicious results.
Why do I get the feeling this joke could actually become reality some day, a la The Onion's five-blade razor satire from yesteryear? [SNL]


text:
The Spanish program in the Department of Modern Languages, Literatures and Cultures is one of the most dynamic and robust language programs in the region. The program features an interdisciplinary approach in all levels of language instruction and welcomes the diversity brought by numerous double majors. The program boasts a high retention rate beyond the College language requirement and graduates more than twenty majors in most years. From the basic requirement through senior-level courses, the Spanish faculty work collaboratively to provide students with creative, engaging experiences in the classroom and community in preparation for the world beyond Wofford.
Students begin the program in Spanish when they are placed according to their high school records in the appropriate level of instruction. Most begin in Intermediate Spanish, a course designed collaboratively and taught by all Spanish faculty members each fall. Intermediate Spanish introduces students to media, pop culture, and film from Latin America and Spain while pushing students to improve their skills in Spanish. Advanced Spanish, generally taken in the second year, provides students a chance to engage in community-based, service learning while they study language and culture. From there, students go on to study literature, culture, and film from an array of thematic and genre-based courses. Students also incorporate a semester stint abroad to complete the major, choosing among programs offered by study abroad consortia in Latin America and Spain.
Laura Barbas Rhoden leads current department efforts in community engagement in Spartanburg and conducts research in Central American studies and in the field of ecocriticism. Camille Bethea directs the Latin American Studies program and coordinates the Intermediate level of Spanish. As a Wofford graduate herself, Dr. Bethea is active in the campus community as both faculty member and alumna. Begoña Caballero joined the Department in 2006, adding her enthusiasm for theater and a connection to southern Spain to the diverse interests of the department. Patricia Nuriel came to Wofford in 2008 and adds expertise in Latin American Jewish studies. Dr. Britt Newman joined the department in 2012.
The Spanish faculty are pleased to welcome a visiting professor, who joins us for a semester. The Spanish program also counts on Amy Lancaster and Ana María Wiseman in the Office of International Programs, and on John Akers.


text:
Los Angeles Dodgers 2012 Offseason Recap and Preview
For the Dodgers, it was the year of the star player. First there wa Andre Eithier making noise with his big hitting streak at the beginning of the year:
Then there was Matt Kemp with extraordinary MVP-type season:
Finally, who could forget the amazing season Clayton Kershaw had that won him the Cy Young Award:
Grade: C+
Notable Additions:
(That is actually a picture from a game that I went to, I made sure it was specifically for the guest I had during that game, because he almost called a no-hitter before the game started. So, Chris, as in Cositore, if you are reading this, that picture is for you.) Chris Capuano, Todd Coffey, Mark Ellis, Jerry Hairston Jr., Aaron Harang, Adam Kennedy, and Matt Treanor.
Notable Subtractions:
Hiroki Kuroda, Rod Barajas, Casey Blake, Jonathan Broxton, Jamey Carroll, Hong-Chih Kuo,and Vicente Padilla.
Why?: This is a pretty sticky situation to try and decipher. No, not because of the whole "sale of the team" thing, but because the Dodgers rid themselves of two guys that, if they perform up to what the have shown previously, could make this a very bad offseason for them. Those two would be: Jonathan Broxton and Vicente Padilla. Think about it, if those guys get back to how they were not too long ago, the Dodgers would have gotten rid of a front-to-middle of the rotation starter and a bona fide closer.
Even outside of the offseason AND the sale of the team situation, the Dodgers are a mystery. Take Andre Eithier for example, this is a guy that we have seen hit 30 HRs in a season and drive in 100 runs before. If he does this last year, the Dodgers are probably in 2nd place in their division. He is just one example, but this team could easily be a contender in the division if all the players on their team matched what they have shown they can be. I realize that any team would be better if they did so, but it seems to apply to the Dodgers much more so than to any other team (last year the team I ascribed this trait to was the Arizona Diamondbacks).
Predicted Record Range: 81-86 wins


text:
Doe Deere of Lime Crime Cosmetics is featured along with her gorgeous house in this months issue of Zooey Magazine and look what she chose to accessorize with!
I love love love how she paired her collar with a high collared blouse. I never would have thought to do such a thing.
Also, I'll bet your wondering why Doe's collar is trimmed in mint? Well, she happened to place a special order with a very special shoot in mind. But I'll have to wait to reveal that...
In the meantime, pick up a copy of Zooey and gaze upon the loveliness that is Miss Doe.


text:
As retail businesses face a growing number of operational complexities, managing processes using traditional spreadsheets and manual methods are no longer viable options. Retail point-of-sales (POS) solutions help retailers automate manual and error-prone tasks, giving them the much needed time to focus on other important activities.
This buyer's guide is intended to help you evaluate the right software for your gift shop business. Here's what we'll cover:
What Is Gift Shop POS Software
Common Functionality of Gift Shop POS Software
Market Trends to Understand
There are two types of gift shops: One is the stand-alone shop, where you buy gifts, decorative items and knick-knacks. The other is affiliated with an organization or attraction, such as a hospital, museum or amusement center. Each has similar issues, primarily associated with inventory. Depending on the gift shop, stock items can vary in price from a few cents to hundreds of thousands of dollars. In some cases, gift store transactions can trigger IRS 8300 or Patriot Act Anti-Money Laundering compliance reporting.
For either type of gift shop, general ledger, payroll, accounts receivable and accounts payable are typical functions. POS is also a key component. Gift shops that are affiliated with organizations have an additional challenge, in that they must of share information with the accounting system for the organization.
In addition, there are some interesting customer relationship management (CRM) issues for gift shops. Usually, one of the benefits of being a supporting member of the organization, for example, a contributing member of a museum, is a discount at the gift shop. Another factor is subscription sales. Some gift stores sell limited-edition items; patrons can subscribe to the items and receive a notification when a new group is in stock.
Gift shop owners should examine the following functions to meet their unique requirements:
|Vendor catalog integration
|Because of the number of potential items carried in a gift shop, it is very useful to have the inventory system integrate directly with vendors' catalogs. The system can download description information and pricing to support order entry, inventory receiving and inventory setup.
|UPC database
|What constitutes "giftware" is nebulous at best. Inventory is available from numerous vendors, and not all of them can provide online catalog access. The system needs to provide a catalog of products and UPCs. The catalog must be updated frequently or better yet, available online.
|If the gift shop is part of a larger organization, there are two options. First, the POS, inventory and the rest can simply be a part of the organization's larger system. Alternatively, the gift shop's systems, all or part of them, can integrate with the organization's systems and share information, such as membership names, inventory values and transaction amounts, between the systems.
|Member discounts
|The system must support a membership discount program, if one is offered. The system should track which items are discounted and by what amount. It should also track which items are on sale and whether or not sale items are also discounted.
|Work orders
|Many gift shops offer special services. For example, framing and engraving. The system needs to track the work orders, post deposits and notify the customer when the work is complete.
|Collectibles subscriptions
|Some customers buy collectibles as soon as they are available, for example, Christmas ornaments, limited-edition graphics or numbered figurines. Some go so far as to buy a certain proof of a collectible, such as always buying the 32nd print of each lithograph from a particular artist. The gift shop inventory, CRM and order entry systems should interact to prepare an order for the correct items and to notify customers when the items are available.
|Special orders
|The system should handle special orders. It should track deposits, integrate with order entry to place orders and notify the customer when the order is received.
|Gift registry
|The system should support a gift registry. Customers should be able to register for desired merchandise by name and event. The system should track which items have been purchased and what is still on the list.
|Patriot Act anti-money laundering reporting
|The system should provide Patriot Act AML-required reports when purchases of "covered goods" of $50,000 or more are made in a single year.
|Support for IRS form 8300
|If a person pays for merchandise with $10,000 or more in cash, the systems should flag the transaction and generate information for IRS Form 8300.
The gift shop retail POS software market is gradually evolving with the introduction of new features and the changing needs of retailers. For example, Shopify POS solution enables retailers to manage orders from from mobile devices, such as iPads and iPhones.
Retail software buyers should keep in mind the below mentioned trends as they analyze POS solutions:
Our service is simple and 100% free to customers like you because software vendors pay us when we connect them with quality leads. You save time and get great advice. Vendors get great referrals. It's a win for everyone!


text:
In the first century, the early Christians celebrated every Sunday in commemoration of the resurrection of Jesus. By the second century, they established a particular day for the celebration of the resurrection, which was connected to the Jewish Passover.
Free download! Guide to Holy Week
Their observance began at sundown on Saturday evening. They called it the Night of the Great Vigil, a time of remembrance and expectation that lasted throughout the night so they could sing "Alleluia" at dawn on Easter morning. It was during the Night of the Great Vigil that new Christians were received into the Church.
By the fourth century, it became customary for people to make pilgrimages to Jerusalem to celebrate what was called the "Great Week," which included Holy Thursday, Good Friday, the Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday. The diary of a woman named Egeria in 381 contains the first accounts of the special rites, prayers and devotions that took place in Jerusalem during the Great Week.
Over time, the practice of observing Holy Week spread throughout the Christian world, with prayers, historical re-enactments and special liturgies. During the Middle Ages, the celebration of the Easter Vigil gradually fell out of practice. The important days of the week were Palm Sunday, Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday.
In 1955, the Vatican re-established the Easter Vigil as an important part of Holy Week observances.
During the Second Vatican Council (1962-65), the bishops called for the restoration of the early Christian rituals for receiving new Christians into the Church at the Easter Vigil. In 1988, the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults was issued.
Today, Easter Vigil with the Easter fire, the lighting of the paschal candle, the reading of salvation history, the celebration of the sacraments of initiation for catechumens and renewal of baptismal promises for the faithful is once again an integral part of Holy Week celebrations.
Read Carl Olson's article, Three Great Days, on the Holy Triduum.
How much do you remember about the people and events of Holy Week? Here's a little quiz to test your knowledge. The answers are at the bottom of this page.
Answers here
Palm crosses: From medieval times, people have believed that blessed palms formed into the shape of a cross would protect them from danger. The easiest way to make a cross from blessed palms is to cut two pieces of the palm, arrange in the shape of a cross, put a thumbtack in the middle, and attach the cross to a doorway or a bulletin board. Check Google for directions on how to braid or weave palms into more decorative crosses.
Housecleaning: In many cultures the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of Holy Week are designated as days for vigorous housecleaning in preparation for Easter. This custom probably evolved from the Jewish custom of ritual cleaning before Passover.
Visiting churches: The custom of visiting several churches to say a prayer on Holy Thursday was a tradition that evolved from the practice of making pilgrimages to holy places.
Coloring eggs: Decorating eggs was a pagan symbol of rebirth at springtime for the Romans, Greeks, Egyptians, Persians and even the Chinese. Christians adopted the colored egg as a symbol of new life which comes with the Resurrection.
Sweet breads: In many cultures, Holy Week was traditionally a time for baking sweet breads, cakes and pastries that would be served on Easter Sunday.
New clothes: From the time of the early Christians, the newly baptized wore white garments made from new linen. In medieval times, it became a tradition for people to wear new clothes on Easter Sunday, symbolizing the "new life" that comes with the Resurrection. In some places it was believed that bad luck would come to those who could afford new Easter clothes but refused to buy them.
Easter lilies: The tradition of buying Easter lilies during Holy Week for use as decorations in homes and churches came into practice in the 1800s. The white flower is a symbol of purity and new life that heralds the resurrection of Jesus.
Blessing of Easter baskets: In many cultures, families bring food that will be eaten on Easter Sunday to church in a basket for a special blessing on Holy Saturday.
Holy Water blessings: Some families bring holy water containers to Mass on Easter so they can bring home some Easter water, which is blessed during the Easter Vigil, to bless their homes.
The word "Triduum" comes from the Latin word meaning "three days," and encompasses the three most sacred days in the Church year. It begins at sundown on Holy Thursday, reaches a high point at the Easter Vigil,and concludes with evening prayer at sundown on Easter Sunday. The liturgical celebrations during the Triduum on Holy Thursday, Good Friday, the Easter Vigil and Easter Sunday are rich with symbolism and flow from one to another in a seamless way. While it may appear as if these liturgies are separate and distinct, they are actually intended to be one continuous celebration that commemorates the passion, death and resurrection of Jesus. For this reason, Catholics are encouraged to observe the entire Triduum by attending all of the liturgies.
During Holy Week bishops bless sacred oils in the diocesan cathedral at a special liturgy known as the Chrism Mass. The oil of chrism is used during baptisms, confirmation, ordination and the consecration of altars. The oil of catechumens is used at the Easter Vigil. The oil of the sick is used to anoint people during the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. The oils are then distributed to the parishes for sacramental celebrations throughout the year. As part of the liturgical reforms of Vatican II, the renewal of priestly promises was incorporated into the Chrism Mass. The Chrism Mass is an ancient celebration that traditionally takes place on Holy Thursday morning. But in recent years, many dioceses celebrate the Chrism Mass on an evening earlier in Holy Week so that more people can attend.
Copyright © 1996-2019 Our Sunday Visitor, Inc.


text:
The two hour drive north last Sunday was night sky and strings of white lights over Christmas tree lots. Firs clustered under red and white striped tents, propped against fences, tall, full, narrow or flocked. In every city we passed. It's that time of year. Here at A Field Journal holiday things are getting underway. The first project of the season is one I created for Papermash. Winter whites, warm light and the most intricately patterned doilies I've ever seen - need I say more? You can download the nifty instructional .pdf for these Snowflake Votives at Papermash through January. Just note you'll need to use battery tea lights for these.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Lights and Snowflakes
31 comments:
- Miss Shivi said...
Lovely colour scheme, the lace is beautiful!
- December 4, 2009 at 2:59 AM
- Anonymous said...
these are so lovely and your photography is always so delicate and nice! How do you do that?
- December 4, 2009 at 4:43 AM
- PeacefulWmn9 said...
These photos are absolutely beautiful! It's snowing here today...our first of the season, and isn't the first as exciting as when we were kids? :)
- December 4, 2009 at 5:39 AM
- Lazzenia said...
I'm trying to download it but I can't... Anyway, I'll try again whenever I finish my exams and have time enough to make christmas suff.
Looks incredibly nice ♥
- December 4, 2009 at 7:05 AM
- 2 By Design said...
Loooove this, and not just because of my obsession with white! Beautiful photography too.
- December 4, 2009 at 7:37 AM
- nina said...
These photos are so calming and stress-free :-) I love the snowflakes...
- December 4, 2009 at 7:59 AM
- Appetite for Conversation said...
Absolutely beautiful! Love the candle idea.
- December 4, 2009 at 9:00 AM
- Anonymous said...
I love your blog! It's so cute and creative! Keep up the great work.
- December 4, 2009 at 9:19 AM
- Hazel said...
Oh, lovely!
- December 4, 2009 at 9:23 AM
- Ivory Faces said...
Those pictures made me all goosebumpy.I adore them xxx
- December 4, 2009 at 10:12 AM
- iva yaneva said...
Beautiful photos! I love them as well as the doilies! But then again, who doesn't love doilies? :) xo
- December 4, 2009 at 10:36 AM
- thislovelycity said...
Such a sweet idea! Have a lovely weekend! xo.
- December 4, 2009 at 5:03 PM
- charismagic said...
Beautiful beautiful photographs, lovely colours, great composition. Truly gorgeous.
- December 5, 2009 at 9:57 AM
- Christine said...
Can you tell us how you make the adorable newsprint snowflake?
- December 5, 2009 at 2:52 PM
- Livy said...
Hi Christine - I am hoping to do some posts about homemade ornaments and incorporate those in it. The short how-to is basically: accordion fold a small square of paper. Once you done that snip each end into a point. Then fold in half and fan out each side into a circle and secure with glue. Hopefully I'll be able to create a better tutorial with photos once final exams are over with (one week to go!)
- December 5, 2009 at 2:56 PM
- thedoodlegirl said...
So very beautiful!!
- December 5, 2009 at 8:25 PM
- Jeanneoli said...
So lovely and peaceful looking!
- December 5, 2009 at 9:16 PM
- Eadaoin said...
divine images, i just love the creamy whites they are such a pleasure to the eye :)
- December 6, 2009 at 12:46 PM
- Federica said...
These photos are simply perfect! Love them!
Come visit me, there's a lovely Christmas Giveaway for all my readers!
Greetings from Italy,
- December 8, 2009 at 2:16 AM
- Sum said...
I love the elegant and soft look of this! yay winter!
- December 8, 2009 at 1:30 PM
- Cassidy said...
ohh these are just gorgeous !
- December 9, 2009 at 7:21 AM
- what katy did next said...
These are gorgeous
- December 9, 2009 at 8:07 AM
- Betsy said...
Gorgeous! She really is!
Nice Blog..hey check out mines http://betsy-haier.blogspot.com ..and if you like it follow me...thanks
- December 10, 2009 at 12:06 PM
- Stéphanie said...
So marvellous !
- December 15, 2009 at 5:20 AM
- Creative ideas said...
Lovely photos, especially their colors
- December 17, 2009 at 1:45 AM
- Design ideas said...
Amazing colors
- December 17, 2009 at 1:46 AM
- Katherine Lee said...
I'm so pleased to have discovered your lovely blog! I've added you to my link list over at Urban Flea, hope you can stop by sometime!
xo Katherine aka. Urban Flea :)
- December 17, 2009 at 10:11 AM
- Kristi W. said...
I just found your blog, and I'm glad I did. Such beautiful photos!
- December 18, 2009 at 8:34 AM
- LindaSonia said...
What a surprise to read you are the new Artist in Residence for Victoria Magazine... Congrats!! LindaSonia
- December 20, 2009 at 12:44 PM
- Elie's Papel said...
lovely collage and styling of the elements in each picture!!!
- December 20, 2009 at 3:39 PM
- Marte Marie Forsberg said...
I adore this petite shoot!
Just found your blog and are enjoying reading into your blog post archive:)
- January 20, 2010 at 1:55 PM