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This Positive Life: Newly Living With HIV, Josh Robbins Is "Still Josh" -- and Still an Advocate
March 25, 2013
It's still very gracious of you to help him. It sounds like there was no resentment at all on your part.
The day that I made the call to him, it was because I asked one of my friends, Vic, who works with Nashville CARES: "What do I have to do now? Do I have to call that person, or will the Health Department just call him?" For me that was like an easy out. I'll just let them do it.
And Vic said to me, "Yeah, they will. However, that takes a lot of time. And if he doesn't know that he's positive right now and he has unprotected sex or any risky behavior during that time, are you going to be OK knowing that that could be happening?" And that's the reason why I made the immediate call: Because I hadn't infected anyone and I know that he didn't intentionally infect me. But I wanted him not to put anyone else at risk, without knowing his status and that sort of thing.
And I'm glad I did, you know? It wasn't until the last week of May 2012 that the Health Department here in Nashville finally called me. They asked who I had sex with, or whatever. But it took them four months to call. So if I hadn't made that call to him immediately then he would just now be finding out. And if his viral load was high, you know -- I didn't know at the time -- or his CD4 count was really low, not only did I want him to know so that he wouldn't expose anyone else, but I wanted him to get to a doctor so that he would be better equipped to be successful against this disease long-term.
And so, as a whole, I told my family and a couple of my best friends, and the person that I had unprotected sex with. I made all those calls immediately.
Everyone's different. Obviously, now, because I have a blog, imstilljosh.com, and I was on the cover of one of the national publications here, telling my story, I'm very open about it now. But I also understand that that is not for everybody. I'm in a position and a place in my life where I could be open, and I wanted to. But there are other people that are HIV positive and maybe only their doctor knows. And that's OK.
It definitely takes time for a lot of other people. It sounds like you were ready to open up immediately.
Yeah, it was pretty immediate. I'm somebody that finds humor in weird things, you know? Sometimes when I go to funerals, the whole thought of somebody being passed away, and laying in a casket, and people walking by . . . I guess I'm just weird, but I kind of find humor in different things like that -- or I can see humor in it.
So I was sitting in my house and was thinking, how in the world am I going to tell everyone? Or, what happens if they find out before I tell them? Or, if I told a couple people and then everyone else kind of starts trickling to find out? Again, I still didn't know anyone that had ever told me that they were HIV positive.
So I did a test thing on my Facebook and social media. I don't even know why I did it -- but I posted an Elton John song, Philadelphia Freedom. Because the only thing that I put with HIV was Magic Johnson and the movie Philadelphia. And so for some reason there was like a little comfort in there, a little humor; I don't know.
And then a couple days after I did that, I decided to make a blog and tell my story. Because Nashville's a city, but it also feels very small at times. And in the gay community, everyone knows everyone. I wanted to be in control of that dialogue, and my story. So I created a blog on Thursday morning. And that Thursday, at 4 p.m., the best way that I knew to let everyone know is, I just posted the blog address on my Facebook. That first day, you know, I think I had like 600 friends or something; the blog was viewed almost 1,300 times. So the secret got out real quick.
From there, the gay publication in Nashville asked me if they could tell my story, or write about it. And I said, "Absolutely." Where I am now, it's twofold: Number one, it's to raise awareness; it's for people like me that have found out, that they're HIV positive, and they felt alone. They didn't know anyone. It's not something that anyone seems to ever talk about -- or did, at that moment, to me. Number two, I'm trying to tackle the stigma of HIV, that it's not a death sentence, obviously, as we all know. But in the South, particularly, there's still a very strong stigma around it.
So I wanted to stand up and yell in town that I had HIV, that I'm OK, that I'm going to survive, and that I'm still Josh. Kind of the motto behind my little blog is: I'm still Josh; you still be you. As long as you still do you guys, then I'm still going to be me. And we just have this disease now that I'm just dealing with.
How do you start the conversation with somebody when you're disclosing to them?
Well, for me, it's actually been pretty easy. Because I don't know if I copped out. I mean, I posted it on Facebook, and I have a blog. The blog is now at almost 15,000 views. Then being on the cover of the magazine here, locally. Everyone here, as far as the gays in town, they're all aware. I guess some of them are probably tired of me talking about it.
But there's other things that I had to think about. I have a company and I have a staff, and we have interns and that sort of thing. And so I've made it a decision again -- it's not my legal responsibility -- but I made a decision that I was disclosing to everyone.
You know all the pink stuff, the marketing for breast cancer awareness? Susan G. Komen for the Cure? People walk around and they say stuff like, "I'm a survivor of cancer." Or, my mom -- I've done MS Walks with her. And it's very easy for her to tell people that she has MS. I see it real similar, that it's just a disease that I'm fighting. There's no cure yet, and there's no vaccine that works 100 percent yet. So I'm just on a journey, just like other people; but it just happens to be that what I'm fighting is HIV.
"It's so important for other people that have HIV that in any way feel like they're scared or feel less or whatever. I want them to know that they're still the same person, that they're OK, and it's going to be fine."
It is so important to me for people, and particularly -- and that's where my heart is -- ifor Nashville, because this is my home; I've lived here for 10 years. So it's so important for other people that have HIV that in any way feel like they're scared or feel less or whatever. I want them to know that they're still the same person, that they're OK, and it's going to be fine. So that is really the bottom line on all of it.
The benefit for me, with the way that I disclosed, and that I've told everyone and I've told them so quickly was that I haven't gone to the bar or to the club or whatever here, and knew that people were talking about me, about something that they haven't heard from me about. So I don't feel uncomfortable going out now. And I'm sure there are people that are going to say things. But I've tried to be honest and I've tried to be transparent.
And some people have called me brave, which I don't think at all. I don't think that what I'm doing, or what I've done and what I'll continue to do, is brave. But if it helps one person or two people here feel like they're OK, then that's enough.
A good example of that is I got a call, a couple of weeks after I released the blog, from someone -- and I couldn't even tell you who it is now -- but they called me. It was a 22-year-old here in my city that had just found out a couple days before they called me that they were HIV positive. And they contemplated committing suicide because of it. And they happened to see someone reposting my blog on Facebook and they read it. Then they felt compelled to call me.
From there, I talked to him for just a few minutes. And he said that because of the blog he decided to tell at least one of his friends, or a couple of his friends. So now he's fine, you know? He didn't commit suicide.
I don't think that I had anything to do with that, except that I know that's what people feel, or that's what people have told me that they have felt immediately. And so if my being able to talk openly about how I contracted it, and what I'm going through, and how I feel, and all those things, if that helps other people then it's worth it to me. Because I'm in a position where I can, you know? I have a strong support group around me. My family means the world to me, and they're OK.
I don't think you give yourself enough credit. It sounds like you saved that boy's life. Would you say that's the best response you've gotten from sharing your status?
It's funny, but I have been flooded with different stories of people. And so some of the best responses to me are people that have been living with this disease for 15 years or 20 years, and they come and say, "Thank you. I haven't been in a position where I could really talk about it like you, but thank you. It makes me feel a little bit more normal at least." Just as a whole, that's the stuff that feels good.
But there have also been a couple of bad things. I got a really nasty e-mail from a previous pastor. He told me everything that he thought about why I got the disease, and how I'm living with it, and all that stuff.
Then, you know, there's thedirty.com, which is a funny website. Somebody posted something not pretty about me on there, basically saying that I'm trying to get fame from this, or monetize this. And that's not the case at all. I haven't made any money from talking about my status, and I wouldn't.
But all that is to say that there's good and bad, but the great things have far outweighed any negative that could ever come at me.
What did your youth pastor say to you, and how did you react?
Basically what happened is that I released the blog, and then the pastor saw the blog and sent me a very long email, basically saying that it's unfortunate that I contracted the disease, that he saw the disease as a direct result of me living a sinful lifestyle from my sexuality, and that God really wants to love me, and so I need to repent and turn away from all of this stuff. Just a religious rant. But the hard part for the email was that it was really tied in with some things that were very personal to me that he really used as weapons -- the fact that I had been molested as a kid, and the fact that the pastor's oldest brother passed away from HIV, and that sort of thing.
He was trying to do exactly what he thought was right, which was to email me and tell me that I'm wrong and that I'm sinful. Although I disagree, adamantly, with every theology that he discusses in the email that he sent to me, I really truly believe that his heart was in a place where he thought he was doing the right thing. So I don't hate him or despise him, but I did respond to him via a blog.
I basically just told him that HIV was not a result of God being angry at me, and that eventually I would be in heaven and that I'm OK.
I did rebuke him a little bit, in a nice way. I told him that this was the absolutely wrong email to ever send to someone that's recently infected, and especially someone that's recently infected and then trying to talk about it in hopes of decreasing stigma and also furthering the discussion of prevention in others. This is totally the wrong tone. And so I responded in that way. But I haven't directly spoken or had a conversation at all with that pastor. And I don't really want to.
He sent me the email but I responded to him in the only way that I knew how at the moment, which was via my blog. But I did disguise his identity so hopefully he hasn't gotten any hate mail, or anything.
But, you know, it was totally the absolutely wrong thing to ever say to someone, particularly someone that's recently infected.
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Reviewed by Melissa B. (age 10)
I thought this book was funny because of all the pranks that the kids pulled. Some of them were pretty weird. They set their watches to beep for the recess bell but it was much earlier than normal. This confused the substitute! I liked the character, Joey, because he was a class clown when he was young and the pranks he pulled were really funny. The ideas he gave Michelle were very tricky and creative. I have read five other Full House books and have enjoyed all of them. They all teach a lesson about what not to do. Even though I wouldn't do some of these things, younger students could learn how to behave properly from these books. I felt a connection with Joey because there are class clowns in my school. They are funny kids, but they sometimes get into trouble.
I think this would be a good book for kids because it will teach them to remember what happened and what will happen if you act like the kids in this story. I would recommend this book for third and fourth graders. It is a good book.

subset: commoncrawl


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A HoseMaster of Wine Pulp Fiction Classic
Chapter 3 The Big Midget Murders
The last thing I clearly remembered was the feel of the drunk brunette's breast as I led her into her hotel room. So where was she? Who was she? And did Jancis drink what she'd decanted?
"Finally with us again, HoseMaster?" I wasn't sure if there was someone in the room or that voice in my head was back, the voice that usually told me to do insane things like carve the names of First Growths on stray cats. I managed to lift myself off the carpet, slowly and painfully, shake the cobwebs off, I mean literally, hell, don't they vacuum at Les Mars, and when I lifted my eyes I was looking at the business end of gun. That made me focus.
"Did you hit me with that?"
He laughed. Like I'd asked a particularly stupid question. Like I was an interviewer for Mutineer Magazine, wine journalism's answer to Highlights for Children. When I looked up at him I knew why he'd laughed. He was a midget. And an ugly one. Reminded me of one of the Seven Dwarves, I think it was Fugly. He'd have to have been standing on fifty-seven Healdsburg phone books to have coldcocked me. And that would have meant he knew I was coming.
"What were you doing with Lorna?" Fugly asked me in his best Munchkin voice.
"Lorna doin'? My favorite cookie!" Even with a blow to the head I was quick. It's a gift. So when Fugly hit me with the gun I was hoping I'd be even quicker, like I'd hoped to be with Lorna, finish with her before she passed out. From the pleasure, of course.
"I'm not kidding around here, Hoseboy. If you think I am, maybe you should see what happened to your little M.S. whore."
I diplomatically didn't mention that "M.S. whore" was redundant, but Fugly didn't notice. I stood up and looked in the direction he pointed, at the bed. Lorna was in it, naked, gorgeous, dead. Two out of three ain't bad. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She'd come from somewhere all the way to my little burg of Healds to become an M.S. and ended up deader than Merlot by-the-glass. Such a shame. I kind of like Merlot, the way it smells like a bad joke.
As I walked over to the bed I heard the midget take off for the door. Now I started to laugh. Midgets running--a guaranteed laugh. Every time. I let Fugly go. He had a gun and a head start and it's sort of unseemly to chase a Little Person. Besides, it wouldn't be hard to find out who he was, I mean, how many ugly midgets could there be in Healdsburg? Just his other six buddies. I was more interested in Lorna, who she was, how she tied into all this, whether she knew Veronica, how she'd gotten mixed up with the scum at M.S., whether I'd been set up.
That's when the Chief of the Healdsburg police walked in. Speaking of midgets.
To be Continued


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I enjoyed working on this months So Very Grateful Challenge. Hope you join in on what you are grateful for!
**coming soon**
With Gratitude Brushes and Stamps
Autumnal Spice Paper Pack
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Layer Works No. 248
Katie Pertiet
Assorted Patterned Tapes: Fall No. 01
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Be Mine Tonal Stripes Value Paper Pack
Candid Element Pack
Clipped Journalers No. 01
Collageables No. 04
Crocheted Doilies: Red No. 01
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Orange, Black and Creme Mini Kit
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Striped Mix: Autumn Ice Paper Pack
Andrea Victoria
Essential Tape: Zig Zag
Studio Double-D
Layer Works No. 201
Layer Works No. 247
Photo by Pure Photography


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|Year of Service
|Gross Sick Leave Days
|1st full fiscal year
|6th or more
An advisory Sick Leave Committee of three members shall be appointed by the President which shall include two administrative staff members. Any administrative/professional staff member, who by reason of sickness or disability, has or will have exhausted all authorized paid absence time (individual allocation of sick leave and/or vacation leave allowance) may petition the Sick Leave Committee by contacting the Human Resources Office for an additional allocation of paid absence time. This petition must be accompanied by a physician's statement which sets forth the nature of the sickness or disability, prognosis and expected duration of incapacitation. The Committee will review this documentation as well as any other employment records it deems appropriate before making a recommendation to the President or his/her designee.
In the event an employee must miss work to care for an immediate family member who is ill, with the approval of the immediate supervisor, the employee may record up to three (3) work days per fiscal year as Family Illness Time. Family Illness Time will not be charged against the employee's vacation or sick leave balances and should be indicated as Family Illness Time ("I") on the employee's attendance record. In exceptional circumstances, and with the approval of the employee's supervisor and the Human Resources Office, Family Illness Time in excess of three (3) work days per fiscal year may be granted. Immediate family members are defined as the employee's spouse, child, step-child, parent or step-parent.
See Operations Manual Policy 2.1-2.
When a staff member has been absent from work due to sickness or disability for a continuous period which exceeds 90 days and medical documentation acceptable to the University supports their condition, the employee will receive a monthly income benefit equal to 70% of their monthly salary base at the commencement of the period of continuous total disability. The University retains the right to secure a medical opinion from a physician of its choosing prior to authorizing any payments under this program. In no event will the sum of the monthly income benefit exceed $9,000. The University pays the monthly income benefit from the 90th day of disability until the first day of the month following one hundred eighty (180) days of continuing disability. After one hundred eighty (180) days, and upon approval from the insurer, the LTD insurance program provides coverage.
There is a one-year waiting period before an employee is eligible for this coverage, but the waiting period may be waived if the employee has been covered by a group long-term disability plan within the three-month period prior to employment at SVSU.
The University shall maintain a sick leave record on all administrative/professional staff members. Deductions will be made from the employee's paycheck for all absences from work other than approved sick leave, vacation or other approved absences with pay.
The University reserves the right to determine that an attendance record and/or job performance demonstrates an on-going inability to perform their job. When the University makes such a determination, the employment relationship will be terminated.
Following is a question and answer document that explains how leave time will be recorded by salaried employees.
Adopted 8/11/80 BC
Revised 7/20/98 VP-ABA
Leave time is expected to be scheduled and approved by the employee's supervisor in advance whenever possible.
What happens if I am gone for a one-hour dentist appointment?
Salaried employees do not need to record any absences that are less than a half day (4 hours). In this case the employee would not record any leave time.
Does it matter why I am gone? What if I am gone for 2 hours to deal with personal family matters?
Again, salaried employees do not need to record any absences that are less than a half day. In this example, no leave time would be recorded. In cases where salaried employees record leave time in half-day increments, the reason they are gone would determine if the time were charged (e.g., sick, vacation, etc.)
What happens if I am gone for five hours?
The salaried employee would report a half-day absence and charge it to the appropriate leave time category. Since recording of time is in half-day increments, the employee would not have to record any time in excess of the half-day until it becomes a full day.
What happens if I normally work an 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. schedule, and I come in late, like 1:00 p.m., but I work until 9:00 p.m?
Salaried employees are eligible for short-term flexible work schedules as approved by their supervisors. Either the President or a Vice President must approve longer-term flexible schedules. If the supervisor approves this sort of flexible work schedule, the employee would not have to record any leave time. If the employee misses critical work assignments or does not have the flexible schedule approved by the supervisor, then the employee would have to charge a half-day of leave time to the appropriate leave category. Since there are many high-level employees with a great deal of independence in this group, we recommend that they discuss with their supervisor in advance what sort of scheduling flexibility they have, rather than dealing with it on a case-by-case basis. It should be noted that not all positions can be granted flexible work schedules due to the nature of the work.
If I am expected to work on a weekend, or in the evening, can I take time off during the normal work day without charging time?
If a supervisor approves this flexible work schedule, the answer would be yes. There is no compensatory time for salaried employees and, therefore, this is not an hour-for-hour exchange. It does not even need to occur within the same work week. It is not unusual for salaried employees to have to work evenings or weekends in addition to normal office hours.
How do I record the extra hours I work?
Salaried employees are not eligible for overtime. There is no way to record additional hours in the University system, since salaried employees are paid their regular bi-weekly salary and only exceptions (time when leave time is reported) are recorded in the system, now in half-day increments.
Salaried employees are required to fulfill the responsibilities of their position. This recording requirement does not prevent the supervisor from inquiring about schedules or assuring that the employee is meeting the expectations of the position either from an attendance or productivity perspective.
(989) 964-4045(989) 964-4045
Administration & Business Affairs


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Apple is reportedly working on bringing Siri and iOS 6 Maps to the Mac in the forthcoming OS X 10.9. If accurate, this would represent part of the 3rd wave of Back to the Mac which have seen hardware and software innovations from iOS devices and iOS brought to Mac laptops and desktops to both improve feature sets and consistency between platforms. Mark Gurman from 9to5Mac reports:
Early builds in testing of the next-generation Mac operating system, OS X 10.9, point to Siri and Maps integration coming to Mac computers next year, according to our reliable sources.
As with the Back to my Mac event itself in 2010, and OS X 10.8 Mountain Lion in 2011, it makes a lot of sense for Apple to keep leveraging assets between platforms. It's more efficient for them and more consistent for users.
While a lot of Siri and Maps' value come from being available on mobile devices, both would also provide huge benefits, including accessibility, on the Mac as well.
Plus, since Apple doesn't offer Maps on the web like Google does, and presumably won't any time soon, having Maps on OS X means locations shared from iOS will have a way to resolve on the Mac. Like iMessage, the functionality will become common between both of Apple's platforms. (Though, of course, with no-joy for Windows users.)
Given that Mountain Lion was previewed on February 16 of this year, there's a chance we could see the first real hints of OS X 10.9 in the next few months as well.
Now lets just hope someone at Apple is also working on getting iBooks ported over to the Mac. Because, damn.
Source: 9to5Mac


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Ashley's blog and read her story.
As the midwife I experience a parallel journey. Together we negotiate the often unpredictable and challenging terrain that leads to birth. Our partnership requires trust that goes both ways - she needs to feel able to trust me, and I her.
As I read Ash's birth story, I was reminded of my own emotional journey, and the series of decisions that were made. I felt challenged as time passed - of course I would have loved to see it all happen spontaneously.
Today I visited Ash and little Richie, and as we had a cup of tea together we chatted about the birth, and all that has transpired since then. As we packed the deflated birth pool into its box, and put it in the car boot, there was no sense of loss in our minds. The birth pool had not been used, and Ash had given birth in the hospital. The hospital was the right place for this birth; the best place.
What more could we ask?


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14th September 2016
Grayling Team
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Independent ratings agency, Weiss Ratings, has hired Grayling in the US to help solidify its leadership position in the field of cryptocurrency ratings. Weiss Cryptocurrency Ratings were...Read More
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Featured News - Current News - Archived News - News Categories
Informal meeting is start of ongoing dialogue on agriculture issues
On his first full week on the job, Congressman Chris Collins, NY-27, met with approximately 40 local farmers Monday afternoon to talk about what they want to see as part of a new farm bill. Congress is set to debate a new five-year farm bill over the coming months. As a member of the agriculture committee, Collins has made it a top priority to work with his colleagues to pass a new farm bill as soon as possible. The current farm bill legislation expired and Congress passed a short-term extension at the end of 2012.
"America's farmers need their federal government to act and pass a comprehensive, long-term farm bill," Collins said. "Congress must come together to give our agricultural community the support and long-term stability it needs."
Held in Batavia, the meeting's participants included dairy and crop farmers from the various counties that make up New York's 27th Congressional District. Dean Norton, president of the New York Farm Bureau, also participated. The informal meeting gave Collins an opportunity to hear directly from local farmers in advance of his first agriculture committee meeting in Washington. In the near future, Collins' office will establish a formal agriculture advisory committee.
A new farm bill would establish farm commodity, conservation, trade and nutritional programs for the next five-year period.
"Hardworking farmers cannot be left in limbo while Washington partisans remain deadlocked on the major issues of the day," Collins said. "A new farm bill is too important to agricultural interest not only in our own community, but all across this country. We all rely on the hard work of America's farmers and now the federal government needs to do its job."


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Carl Blakely needed a new logo design and created a contest on 99designs.
A winner was selected from 76 designs submitted by 27 freelance designers.
We are a new start up company here in the UK. Initially we are selling briquettes and Pellets through several channels in a vibrant and increasing market sector. Longer term we intend to expand into the supply of incinerators and associated products-high tech.
Our aim is to promote/sell ourselves to SME's (Small to Medium sized Enterprizes) who will inturn wholesale our branded product (future design projects) to the public. So we require a business like logo expressing our green crudentials and ultimatley we are providing heat. Looking around this website we like a number of the designs which have been done for the ecofire store, may be useful for guidence.
Logo should convey:-
1.Colours. We dont wish to stiffle anyone's creative flair so submit your ideas, but we are dealing with enviromentally generated heat etc.
2. We quite like an abstract flame/logo
3. No Clip art please.
The above may seem vague however we dont wish, as a new company to inhibit your design abilities. email if you require further guidence or clarification.
Find out how a design contest works or learn more about our logo design services.