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Thursday, 29 January 2009
Connections of the heart
In my excitement at arriving in the capital I gave so little thought to what was left behind. My parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and great friends; One of those great friendships was made way back on that first terrifying day in junior school. A day when my bottom lip trembled as my mother turned around for the very last time that morning, tears in her eyes as she smiled forlornly then waved at my tear stained face and snotty nose before turning her back again and disappearing through the classroom door. I thought my heart would break and no matter how many times she tried to reassure me that I'd be coming home at the end of the school day, I wouldn't nor couldn't believe it. I will never forget the deep feeling of sadness on that first day, but neither will I forget Jenny Burns.......
……….. I sat on the tiny grey metal S framed chair at the tiny wooden desk and being so completely ego centric as all children are I hung my head and assumed I would never ever recover from being abandoned. As my own sobs began to subside, so did the sniffling and sobbing of the other abandonee next to me that until now I had only been vaguely aware of. Slowly I raised my head and turned to see a wee lassie, much the same size as myself but with a shock of curly ginger hair and red eyes with a red nose to match sitting on an identical chair, swinging her wee legs for like me she was too short to reach the floor.
"Hello.......errr, wiz that your mammy then?", she asked in a small nasally Glaswegian accent as she stared at me with her huge tear laden brown eyes framed by the longest lashes I'd ever seen.
"Aye it wiz,", I answered, before choking back another sob at being reminded she'd abandoned me only minutes before. I took a minute to blow my red nose on my by now very soggy hankie, "So……so where's your mammy then?", I asked with all the curiosity and naivety of a tiny wee five year old wondering how all these mammy's could abandon their weans and then leg it out of the place.
She's no here, she didnae come wae me", she said in a voice even smaller than before.
"No here? Whit dae ye mean she didnae come wae ye?" I asked, wide eyed with legs swinging away wildly on the chair as I stuck my thumb in my mouth for a suck whilst she answered this conundrum.
With her huge brown eyes fixed tightly upon mine, tears welled again and began to trickle down her rosy cheeks. "Ma mammy's deed", she spluttered out before letting out the loudest wail of utter heartbreak I had ever heard.
"Oh no, yer mammy's no really deed, is she?" I asked, getting all weepy because even though my mammy had dumped me there, at least I had one. The shock almost did for me for I knew nothing of death except that sometimes I would get scared that my wee mammy might die one day. So there it was, wee Jenny Burns didnae huv a mammy and I wiz heartbroken fur her. We sobbed our wee broken hearts out in unison until Mrs Murray, our lovely sweet teacher came over, put her arms around us both, calmed us with soothing words and dried our tears. Shortly after, down at the bottom of the school yard for playtime break we sat on the ground on our coats drinking our free milk through a straw and scoffing a digestive biscuit.
"Jenny?", I asked her in between slurps and chomps.
"Aye whit Annie?", she asked after swallowing the ice cold milk.
"Will ye be ma new best pal?"
"Aye, aye a wull", she said turning to look at me with the biggest smile I'd ever seen. Bless her, all of five years old and she had teeth like a bar chart thanks to her brother who 'encouraged' her to pull her wobbly milk teeth out so they could share the sixpence she'd get under her pillow from the tooth fairy.
"Great", I said delighted that at least one good thing had come out of the day, "and seein' as yer gonnae be ma best pal and seein' that you've no goat a mammy, ye can share ma mammy tae, that's IF she comes back fur me ye understand"........ The jury was still out on that one and I'd need a lot more convincing that the woman I knew as mammy and had dumped me here this morning would actually come back for me. Still, I reasoned, it was the least I could do for ma best pal who unquestionably had been bonded to me for life in our shared grief and loss that very same day.
Six years later after much tears and laughter; after sleepovers at each other's homes; after shared hours of playing 'kick the can' in summer until it got dark and we were dragged inside exhausted but still delirious with joy; after climbing trees and returning home with bumps the size of golf balls on our foreheads because we lost our footing and much to the merriment of our brothers, swan dived out of a tree hurtling head first towards earth; after having our hair doused in nit killer because yet again we let wee Gladys who lived next to the dump come and have a sleepover in our homemade tent in the back garden where we were infested within an inch of our lives; after rolling doon the hill outside ma hoose in summer on a homemade geggie, (go cart) - three pieces of wood knocked together like a big letter H with big auld wheels off a pram at the back with two smaller one's at the front, no brakes and a long piece of string attached to the front bit of wood for steering. There we were getting splinters in our arses as we ricocheted downhill at speed right into the path of the parish priest's new car; After sliding doon the hill outside ma hoose in winter wearing our plastic beach sandals that polished the compacted snow into an Olympic standard ski slope so dangerously slippy that we could get a fair bit of speed on before crash landing through auld Alfie's garden fence and into his allotment at the bottom of the road; after making faces with me at the grumpy old folk who moaned as they slid down the road on their arse and then swore at us and threatened to go straight to oor parents to tell them we should get a hiding for being so bloody cheeky; after laughing even harder at the ill-tempered old biddy's when they tried to chase us as their moaning reached epic proportions and not one of us getting anywhere because we were all running on the spot; after nearly melting the ice with hot yellow pee as we laughed ourselves stupid at the whole scenario; after promising to be best pals for ever and ever and ever and after her da, a skilled carpenter, a tired, skint single parent announced that they were off, off to the land of opportunity.........
...........A land of opportunity where he could earn enough to buy them new shoes and clothes instead of second hand clobber from the jumble sales; where a working man was paid a decent wage without having to scrimp and scrape his way cap in hand through life just to feed the weans; where the sun shone so much that life would no longer be grey with arctic like winters for them to struggle through with nae money fur their heating. He'd found a beacon of hope and a step up from the near poverty that threatened to overwhelm him and his young family. Australia and the Ten Pound Pom emigration scheme was the answer to his prayers and he'd been planning it for a while but said nothing for fear it wouldn't work out and expectations were dashed or even thwarted by those who would make a fuss and not want to go. By the time Jenny had been told, it was a done deal and she came to tell me, stayed for a sleepover and reminiscent of that first day together at school, we both cried the night away in total grief. In two months she was gone but we never lost that connection, well not for a long time but as with all distance relationships, pre email and affordable telephone calls, contact by written hand that was fervent in the beginning became sporadic as the years went by and our adult lives moved on from those relatively carefree childhood days.
I will never forget her but life moves on and I have made other friendships that have had the same deep connection - some of these made after just one meeting which has been a delightful surprise over the years. Ella was a work colleague and a real Jolly Hockey sticks kinda gal. She had all the eccentricity of the very rich, which she was after her parents shuffled off their mortal coils leaving her a multi millionaire. You'd never know it though for what I loved about her was the way she lived modestly almost impoverished with a sofa that her four cats shredded on a daily basis. With huge lumps of sponge filling missing and other pieces hanging down onto the carpet, it was a work of art that Damien Hurst and the Tate gallery would have been proud of. We worked on different projects much of the time but we knew each other through the vast social scene that was inherent to our work life. She lived about five miles from me and when I heard that she had cancer I made a point of going to see her. Our friendship developed over the year during which she went into remission and returned to work with her no nonsense approach to take on the huge projects she was famed for managing. But her good fortune wasn't to last. Excruciating pain in her spine and a sudden inability to walk back from the coffee machine to her desk told her something was drastically wrong. In the midst of her colleagues carrying her to her chair, Ella's heart sunk lower than she had ever imagined it could.
The oncologists report identified secondary tumors in her spine and other major organs. I was naïve and positive and hopeful that she'd beat these monsters down yet again. "You'll do it again Els", I reassured her brightly. "You did it before, you can do it again and this time you know what you're up against, so half the battle's won okay", I flannelled on, hoping to inspire her. I didn't know then that her only hope was chemo and radio therapy to shrink the tumors, to slow their growth. I didn't know that when these didn't work anymore that her end was nigh and that palliative care was all that could be offered. I didn't know until I was finally taken aside and told by a wonderful MacMillan nurse that secondary tumors are terminal and that I should prepare myself for the loss of my friend.
I took my turn, along with closer friends that had known her much longer, in doing practical things she found difficult to undertake as time went on. Her husband, grateful of our help, support and friendship thanked us profusely but we didn't need thanks for you don't do you?; not when it's a pal. But, it wasn't at all miserable and certainly not all one sided. No matter how ill Ella became she kept her sharp dark wit and we would often roll around trying not to dampen the chairs in our great shared mirth.
I'd boss her around and remind her to take her medication. She'd grumble and tell me she was rattling away thanks to the overabundance of pills she had sunk so far that day; "What did forgetting to take a few more matter?", she'd ask crossly, annoyed that her life had been overtaken by schedules, pills, appointments, taking urine samples along with the indignity of being prodded and poked at by doctors and nurses and anyone else called a specialist. She'd tell me to get lost when I was of no more use to her and she needed a nap. She'd become argumentative as exhaustion and pain took over. I'd tell her to watch her manners or she could decompose without me. On one memorable outing, I took her to pick up her NHS freebie wigs that she much preferred over spending good money on privately made wigs that she said she certainly wasn't going to take into the next world with her. I nagged at her and called her mean because I said that a good wig made all the difference and anyway, I wanted them after she was gone because they'd come in handy for Halloween parties and such like. As usual she ignored my advice, tried on a plethora of cheapo wigs and solicited my opinion on which was best. She was none too pleased when I said she had all the allure of a blow up rubber doll.
One Sunday soon after, when she was roasting a chicken for lunch that by now she had no appetite for but wanted to prepare for her husband, she opened the oven rather too quickly. Whilst bending down to check on the contents an excruciatingly hot blast of air hit her full on the face and welded the nylon NHS wig to her forehead. "Cheap is as cheap does", I said when I saw her still wearing it a few hours later. "Christ Ella", I continued as I stared at her. "You could take the fecking thing off, it looks like a rancid bit of old road kill on yer bonce". She registered my comment just as she was taking a drink and I heard her snort heavily before two streams of water and other gooey stuff trickled down her nose as we laughed our heads off at this vision of loveliness she had become.
No matter that when I returned the next day, I scolded her for still wearing this year's 'fascinator' as a hairdo. "I'm not", she said looking straight at me, waiting for reality to set in. "Now don't be so bloody cheeky", she said, as she watched my horrified reaction turn to deep sadness as I looked at the wisps of fine hair left after several bouts of chemo. She'd done well to keep the effects of the chemo under wraps with her wig until her disaster made her go commando as it were. She teased me relentlessly at her little joke for she knew perfectly well that her hair and wig were on a par and that I'd mistake her hair for the burnt wig. I played along and smiled but in my heart I was haemorrhaging emotion because her life was ebbing away in front of me.
Some months later I had to attend a software conference in Minneapolis, USA and it was a three line whip as far as my job was concerned. She understood and scolded me for considering not going and insisted she was much more interested in hearing all the fun tales and gossip from our shenanigans abroad. I knew she missed the vibrancy of work and promised a warts and all report upon my return. To my shame, I felt relieved and quite a bit selfish because her deterioration was rapidly causing her more and more distress and I wondered if I would be strong enough to hold out for her at the end. I was grateful for my friends permission to go and I relished the conference and the chance to socialize with colleagues and friends as we worked hard but also partook of a great deal of alcohol. I had so much to tell her when I returned that would have her heaving with laughter and looked forward to hearing her fantastically wicked laugh. We were in the thick of it all and jolly merry when I was suddenly stopped in my tracks, as though a Tom and Jerry frying-pan-in-the-face kind of moment had happened. I stood still and felt a wave of emotion so strong that I was overwhelmed with the need to cry. I took a moment to register my astonishment at such a depth of feeling.
"Oh God, it's Ella", I blurted out to my drinking buddies as tears welled in my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. "She's gone, I'm sure of it. Oh Christ", I wailed, "and here I am enjoying myself when God knows how she must have been". The guilt of laughter was hanging heavily upon me.
"No she hasn't, she can't have, how on earth would you know?", they asked whilst looking at me as though it was time to cart me off to bed after ten drinks too many.
"She has, I know she has, I just know okay?", I said tetchily for I was filled with a deep sadness and confused at my inability to explain what I was certain of.
When I returned to the UK some three days later, I returned her husband's voice mail message. "What time did she pass away ?", I asked him as he gave me details of her last hours with him."Oh, at six am", he said. "I know because we were in bed together, and for some strange reason the alarm on the clock, which hasn't been set since Ella came home from the hospice, came on to wake me. Shortly after that she let out her last breath. It's incredibly strange but I'm just so grateful that it woke me in time", he said, as he went quiet, reflecting upon those last few painful moments together.
My blood ran cold for a moment for the time that I had felt and known that Ella had gone was 1200am in the USA. - six hours behind 6am in the UK. Sometime after the funeral and when we were able to talk with an amount of acceptance and peace within us I told him what had happened. He felt comforted by my story and I was glad that I had shared it with him.
Although I believe in God, or at least a higher being, I am not inclined to believe in spirits and such like and with a science background tend to be pragmatic about what happens after death but this 'visit' from Ella I cannot explain. I felt the strong disconnection from her after that visit in Minneapolis. I believe in my heart that she came to say goodbye but my head disputes this. I knew she had died and I couldn't be moved on that conclusion even though I couldn't explain it. And now I feel the same overwhelming disconnection from Jenny. Just recently I felt a wave of loss so deep that it threw me. It made me think of Ella but it was Jenny that flooded my mind and stayed with me for days after. Perhaps, it was a goodbye. I don't want to know. I'm too sad to think of her passing, but if it was that I hope she's content and happy and that she's caught up with that mammy of hers after all this time. You see, I am a dichotomy, a person of conflicting views and beliefs as my certainty on things crumble as life teaches me otherwise. As I get older, the more I learn the less I know and the more inclined I am to open up my mind to new orders and possibilities.
I hope she relished her wonderful new life as a Ten Pound Pom; she and her family certainly deserved a better future and God, there are worse places to grow up than paradise. But I hope too she never suffered the hopelessness of the tyranny of distance, of the dislocation of family and of homesickness and knew that somewhere back in the UK, her wee pal held her as dear to her heart as she had always done for even though the memories faded, the friendship and love never did. And finally, I just hope she didn't call any of her kids Kylie or Jason.....
61 comments:
- Maggie May said...
This was a lovely post MOB, though sad. I loved your description of starting school, really brilliant. Sorry you had to lose these friends.
I am also unlucky in friends. Lost one to suicide and another left the country and another is quite sick.
We must plod on.....
- 30 January 2009 at 08:19
- auntiegwen said...
The reaon , my dearest Mobs that you feel this connection is because you have a heart of gold and the size of Scotland.
All your friends are lucky to have you because you put the work in and thats why you are so loved.
Your writing makes my day, it often makes my cry but even when it does it makes me smile too.
as aye xxx
- 30 January 2009 at 08:28
- Carolina said...
Lovely post. Love your writing, funny and serious and warm and oh your scottish accent, it makes me think of Billy Connolly. You can take that as a compliment, don't know if you like him, but I do!
Big smile and a hug!
- 30 January 2009 at 11:09
- Ribbon said...
I like your blog :-)
- 30 January 2009 at 13:48
- aims said...
Oh my friend. You have touched my heart.
I am lucky to know you.
- 30 January 2009 at 19:08
- WT said...
Nicely done, although it took be the better part of three days to get through it all.
I'm stunned by the fact that you can believe in god, yet not believe in spirits. I don't believe in either, so one of us is going to get a shock eventually.
- 31 January 2009 at 06:16
- Mean Mom said...
You and your friends were so lucky to find each other. It's fascinating to read about your connection with them. I find that I, too, am hoping that your friend had a good life, after her family emigrated.
I can remember being dragged to school, crying, in the first few days of starting. I wasn't the only one, either. There's something to be said for play school, these days, I think!
Kylie, or Jason? That's a dreadful thought. My cousin called her young daughter Skye, after someone in Neighbours, apparently. Oh, dear. It's such a mistake, isn't it?
- 31 January 2009 at 11:14
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Maggie – I think that we and others come into each other's lives for a reason and then leave when the time is right. I find it easy enough to attract friends but these days I am such a home body that I don't really make the effort with them. Tiredness and irritability with the menopause makes me a hell of a lot less sociable. Sorry to hear about your friends but I would imagine you are in their lives because they need you, that may very well be your gift to them.
Autiegwen – oh you are to kind in your comments. But I have become a grumpy old bag these last few years through the menopause. I am so intolerant of people these days and am not anywhere near as accommodating as I was in the past. Mostly because people let you down and I have a flippin massive dislike of people use other people. Himself and I are generous with our time and help, (I used to be much more generous and intend to get back to doing more), but we have both found over the years that some people just aren't there for you when you need a favour back - they tend to be the emotional vampires or the terminally selfish who see to themselves first or even worse judgemental twats. I will help anyone but I can't bear it when it becomes expected or even demanded; in fact the people who are usually the most deserving are the last people that would ask for help. That's life but I have become so very choosy in who I have as friends as it's quality over quantity that counts. As aye too hen.
Carolina – welcome and thank you for your lovely comment. Nope I don't mind the Billy Connolly reference at all – oh to be so talented as him eh? He is a Glaswegian so we all have a pretty similar ways with us up there – except he's a comic genius! I'll pop over and have a look at your blog later. Thanks for leaving a comment as they are always welcome.
Ribbon – welcome and thank you – such a short but very complimentary comment!
Aims – ah without getting into a mutual 'love-in' here, I think it is a lot of us that are lucky to know you from your wonderful insights on your blog. Thank you.
WT – look at it this way, the three days it took you to read my war and peace like post meant you were busy here and not off annoying anyone or getting under Mrs WT's feet! I hope it isn't me that's disappointed at the big pearly gate time eh?!
Mean Mom – oh I remember the tears so well too and yet by the end of the week I loved school and did ever after that. Skye – she's ot a television network named after her now!
- 31 January 2009 at 12:54
- Stinking Billy said...
wee mob, Now, *that* was writing. God Bless. x
- 31 January 2009 at 12:57
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Ah Billy, I am always touched that you are so encouraging of my writing. Thank you dear Man. X
- 31 January 2009 at 19:50
- Lane said...
Agree with Auntiegwen - your friends were (are) lucky to have you. Lovely post Mob. You capture the sadness just perfectly and always spiced with that dry humour:-)
- 1 February 2009 at 16:13
- San said...
Hi. I've seen you around on the other blogs. Today I saw you over at Mima's and my curiosity about Menopausal Old Bag got the best of me. So here I am.
It hurts SO bad to lose friends. I haven't lost any to death but to jobs which have taken them to far away locations. Yes, I do believe in those cords which keep our hearts tied together. Still, I miss the sitting down for coffee and heart-to-heart talking.
I believe you have discovered, however that these "ties that bind" may keep us in touch even beyond the grave. That's heartening.
- 1 February 2009 at 21:04
What a talent, you always leave me wanting more MOB.
In the past ten months I have lost four good friends. Its strange two I didn't see very often , but we always picked up as if we had just spoken the day before.
They leave big gaps, but I think I didn't realise how big, until they left.
- 1 February 2009 at 23:12
- Life With Dogs said...
Sad and beautiful. I'm hooked.
- 2 February 2009 at 04:05
- Robin said...
MOB, friends are so important, aren't they? Sometimes more important than our spouses (don't let them know though.)
I believe there are things out there that we do not understand but are gifts from God.
- 2 February 2009 at 14:12
- blogthatmama said...
Great post MOB, some friendships are so precious.
- 2 February 2009 at 21:22
- wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...
I think there are some very lucky people in this world who get to call you friend, MOB. You know, this post made me tear up.
- 3 February 2009 at 12:15
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Lane – I think if you asked my friends now if they thought they were lucky to have me they would severely disagreed! I am grumpy, bitchy, angry, tearful and all from minute to minute! But when I feel good I can be kind! Thanks for such a nice comment.
San – welcome and thank you for such a nice comment. I do see more and more in life as I get older that hope plays a huge part in survival and I hope that there is an afterlife and that every person I've lost, every pet that I lost too will be there having a great time just waiting with a big glass of red wine for me when I get to wherever I get to!
Valley's Mam – ah away with yerself – you're the talent! Thanks VM you are such an encouragement. Big gaps, the older you get the more big gaps we find in our lives as friends and family pass on or move away. Time deals with it effectively and we learn to cope but never forget. Hugs and just think, you'll be able to pick right up with them again next time you meet! But not too soon eh? We need you here!
Life with dogs – welcome and thank you for such a nice comment. I'll pop over and have a look at your blog.
Robin – friends often outlast our spouses and are the backbone of our existence. I love the company of male and female friends alike and sometimes making a new friend when it was least expected is such a delight. But I am a damn sight more fussy in my old age. I agree about gifts from God, we need to value good friends more.
Blogthatmama – aye hen wise words as usual.
Wakeupandsmellthecoffee – I'd refer you to my first comment above, I am a grumpy miserable old bag from time to time but my plans for this year are to get fit, lose weight, get control of my severely depleted effing hormones and lose the mood swings big time. When I am calm I am in love with the world, when I am hormone deficient, I am a numpty of the first order.
- 3 February 2009 at 13:33
Your posts are so thought-provoking and pleasurable to read, however sad this one is.
Keep an open mind. Ella needed to say goodbye and wouldn't have gone anywhere before she did.
CJ xx
- 3 February 2009 at 16:49
- beth said...
I come, I read, I always leave proud to be of Scottish decent! Thanks for another great story.
- 3 February 2009 at 21:25
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Crystal - I read your blog avidly and your connection with the spirits that you seem to have in your home fascinates me. The more I read the more open to it I become. I am so looking forward to your book coming out.
Beth - so you are of Scottish decent then? Grand lassie er are too! I knew there had to be some Celt in there!
- 4 February 2009 at 01:25
- the mother of this lot said...
So we don't get to find out what happened to Jenny then? I feel cheated beyond belief!!
- 4 February 2009 at 01:57
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
The Mother Of This Lot - Good to see you back. I don't know where Jenny is or what has happened to her. The family she had in Scotland - her grandparents - that I knew forty years ago are long dead now. I was on assignment in Sydney and Brisbane once and I tried to find her but there was no trace - I found my two old aunts instead though! One door closed as two more opened. Strange old world.
- 4 February 2009 at 02:19
This was beautiful. Your writing goes right to my soul. Your connections don't surprise me at all, you are a caring, sensitive person. Your friendship is a true gift to other people. I'm so glad I "know" you and I LOVE your blog.
Thank you so very much for all the support. It means more than I can say.
- 4 February 2009 at 04:24
- Flowerpot said...
Sad but beautifully written - I'm right there with you MOB. Friendships like that are so special.
- 4 February 2009 at 17:32
- Tattie Weasle said...
I do love reading your blog, sorry I don't always comment - somethinmes they are so thought provoking, all the time they are entertaining!
Apologies I have tagged you for a picture, you're one of the first I've ever tagged - not sure whether that is a good or bad thing though...
- 4 February 2009 at 22:09
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Cheryl – oh you big me up too much for someone of a meagre amount of skill but thank you for you are very generous in your feedback. Glad things are moving forwards for you with the girls.
Flowerpot – thank you so much. I've always valued good friendship and I think the older I become the more I do so. One gets stuck with a lot of acquaintances throughout life that we mistake for friends until the chips are down. I have found in the past that sometimes the friends you thought you could rely on do not match the ones that come through for you completely out of the blue.
Tattie weasel – thanks for the photo tag hen and the nice comments. I shall get around to it when himself lets me near the desktop – he's busy on a case right now and so trying to access my photo files is like trying to get an appointment with a bank manager for a loan right now.
- 6 February 2009 at 06:09
- ® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...
Hi MOB,
Such a truly wonderful post!
You moved me to tears with your memories of your dear friends and then made me laugh with your last sentence about Kylie and Jason!
All in all I was gripped from start to finish and thank you for sharing all your memories and experiences!
Big Hug,
Donnie X
- 8 February 2009 at 10:51
- LittleBrownDog said...
This was just totally excellent, MOB. One of your very best. The way you mix fabulous humour with deep pathos is just... perfect. Because the very saddest times, in a way, are funny and ridiculous on one level.
I do hope you're still writing your book. And I hope you'll point me in the right direction to find it when it eventually comes out. Just brilliant.
- 8 February 2009 at 18:22
- crazyrivergirl said...
Love your blog, hen. Wonderful writing.
- 8 February 2009 at 19:40
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
The Brit – ah dearest Donnie, thank you so much for your really nice comment. The feedback is so very important as you know and I am chuffed that you enjoyed the story of my wee pals.
LBD – oh crikey now I am really humbled by your great comment given what a talented writer and journalist you are. It made me smile all last night! Yes I am working away on the book with a vengeance this year and it's going great guns right now. Thanks again so much, all feedback is a great encouragement when the doubt creeps in.
Crazyrivergirl – welcome hen and thank you for your great comment.
- 9 February 2009 at 17:32
- david mcmahon said...
Standing ovation ....
- 11 February 2009 at 01:52
- Debra in France said...
You are such a brilliant writer. You write with such feeling, I could 'hear' the two little girls talking and playing. I cried over Ella, you were lucky to know each other and have such a wonderful friendship. You obviously attract these wonderful, special people, and I think it says alot about how special you are. I love your blog. Debra xx
- 11 February 2009 at 11:27
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
David McMahon - thanks David and thanks for the wonderful posts you have been writing on the fires in Australia - very moving.
Debra thanks so much, you have always been really complimentary about my blog from the very start. I can remember so much of my time with Jenny and di make other friends along the way who are special in their own way too but you never really forget your first 'best friend' do you?
I think women who don't like other women and brag about just enjoying the company of men miss out on so much, but then those types are usually spoilt, vain and flirtatious to the point of excrutiating embarrassment! I have some great male pals ad I love the whole mix and I have had some terrific people in my life who astound me with their kindness and goodwill, as have all of us I suspect.
- 11 February 2009 at 12:50
- Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...
Amazing writing and memories..
- 12 February 2009 at 09:14
Are we not lucky, we bloggers, to have such a plethera of writing talent at the click of a mouse? Mobs, that was so moving and beautifully written. It was long but I did not want it to end.I was there with you on your first day at school and heard your voice comforting the little girl, and felt your sadness at the loss of your friends. XX
- 12 February 2009 at 10:53
- Tessa said...
Lyrical, evocative, luminous writing. I 'saw' each and every person of whom you wrote. You make magic word pictures, MOB. I'm in awe.
- 12 February 2009 at 17:27
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Fat Frumpy and Fifty – thanks dear lady for such lovely feedback.
Moannie – thanks you have been very kind in your comments. I'm glad the story has been so well received as it was a pleasure to write if not quite sad because I am left wondering what happened to Jenny. I might look her up now that the net makes things so accessible but I am somewhat worried about what I would find out. Ella was a strong individual with great common sense and not a bit of pretension about her. She was a breath of fresh air and I still miss her. There aren't too many people like her around. Shame!
Tessa – welcome and thank you for such a lovely comment. I am very touched by the feedback that this post has created and every comment is another nudge to keep going with my book.
- 12 February 2009 at 19:15
- Braja said...
Lol...loved the whole lot and the ending was beautiful
- 12 February 2009 at 21:19
- CrazyCath said...
Absolutely riveting. Fantastic writing. Just brilliant.
Congrats on POTD which brought me here but girl, your friendships evoked memories of mine. And none of my friendships happened like that. So THAT is powerful writing. Just brilliant.
- 13 February 2009 at 00:07
- CrazyCath said...
And I would just like to say I hear the Glaswegian in you hen every bit. (I'm an English lass but from the borders.)
Thanks for popping by (I actually wrote "pooping by" but I changed it) and for your kind comments.
- 13 February 2009 at 09:04
- Merisi said...
Thank you for sharing this story!
Congratuatlions on winning David's Post of the Day award, thanks to David that I got to visit here!
- 13 February 2009 at 17:28
- i beati said...
outstanding tributes to both your kidred spirits..how blessed you were to have them
- 13 February 2009 at 17:35
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Braja – welcome and thank you for your of course enlightened comments!
Crazy Cath – What a great name for a psychiatric nurse! You have to be a little bit crazy to read my blog and be so complimentary. So a Borders lass eh? The only bit I know about the borders is that fantastic Tebay service station at the borders. Never seen anything like it nestled in the hills beside pools with ducks and other local wildlife, home made soup that tastes amazing and a terrific selection of home style cooked food and all run by local residents. It is a model service station that puts the rubbishy rest to shame, Maybe you know it?
Merisi – welcome and thanks for your comment. Yes David is very generous handing out the post of the day award and it is always nice to have new people visit.
I beati – thanks, but they were the outstanding ones. I was lucky to know them and they remind me that before I hit the menopause I was even tempered, a good friend and attracted good people into my life. Luckily I still have a few that are inspirational either by the simplistic view of life or by the deeds they do for others.
- 14 February 2009 at 07:03
- Mary said...
- This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
- 14 February 2009 at 08:20
- Sandi McBride said...
I love that your friend called you MOB long before you were MOB and that you are such a wonderful writer and that I am lucky enough to come in and visit with you, nodding my head as though you could see me sitting here, taking in your story and loving every syllable of it...
hugs from across the pond
- 15 February 2009 at 17:06
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Sandi - thanks, you made my day when I read your comment.
- 17 February 2009 at 08:29
- Mopsa said...
"Teeth like a bar chart", now I'm gonna admit that there is every chance I'll nick that phrase. Wonderful story.
- 17 February 2009 at 19:15
- Cath said...
Just to let you know I have had to move my blog. So please look in my profile for my new one and book mark it. The other two are closing down. Thanks.
(You don't have to publish this - it was just to let you know because I can't see an email address for you.)
- 19 February 2009 at 11:14
- Laydee said...
Absolutely lovely post.. whew.. I could feel my heart beat, longing for treasured friends I have lost.
- 20 February 2009 at 04:43
- ® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...
Hi MOB!
You know I started to read your post here and then realised that I had already read it a while ago, but I read it again anyway as I love your writing and all the different and intelligent ways that you describe things!
This post reminds me so much of my own experiences of leaving family and friends back home in the U.K. - absolutely the worst thing about moving abroad! But we're creatures of change and habit and as you know at the moment I have many plans of change for 2009. I have been a creature of habit for the past four years... something that I have never been in my life as I am a very spontaneous person!
There is a wonderful phrase that I heard in a film a while ago: "Life is an occasion... rise to it!"
Big Hugs for you Lovely MOB and good luck with your own changes this year! X
- 21 February 2009 at 14:19
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Mopsa – be my guest and use the phrase! Luckily her teeth had grown back by the time she was twelve – just in time to woo the boys!
Cath – thanks for letting me know the new address. I've bookmarked it but I published your comment as I needed to link to it to bookmark it anyway! Good luck with the new blog.
Laydee – ta hen. I find that the heartbreak of loss makes me appreciate what I have in my life now. I treasure my life deeply.
Brit – oh Donnie, it is lovely to see you back again from your travels. You really are missed dear boy! Thanks for another wonderful comment and I am so glad for you that you are heading off back to Rio. That must be incredibly exciting for you. I have come out of the doldrums these last few weeks with a huge change in diet and lifestyle and I am so completely happy and excited about life again. It has been a gradual climb but my God, I am at the top of a mountain looking down instead of in a valley looking up. I haven't felt like this in years so I am going to make the best of it. I love your last comment – yes I agree completely – I am going to rise to the occasion!
- 21 February 2009 at 16:23
- Retiredandcrazy said...
You are a wonderful, wonderful person MOB. A friend in a million. And I can just hear you saying "Oh fer feck sake!". Incidentally OG comes from Glasgow and he is a mad, crazy person too!
- 24 February 2009 at 16:22
- Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...
Whoa girl..powerful stuff, such an evocative post. brings back memories of a friend who died after a battle with cancer over 18 months. so fast, so awful, we weren't close like your relationship, but it really hit me between the eyes.
friendships can be so powerful they can throw you off balance sometimes.
great words and tribute..
I must say my curiosity is piqued by your HRT blog..of which it is the bane of my life currently..another topic for another post..may alienate my male pals.
FFF x
- 24 February 2009 at 20:16
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Retired and crazy – No never, I am not at all like that. Ella was the kind of person that inspired even the most selfish of people to help her. It was all done in a quiet unassuming way. She never demanded it, you never even thought about the reasons you offered help, not one of us was a saint. It was the most natural thing in the world to help her because she ever expected it. She was the one with humility, honour and respect – not us, well certainly not me.
FFF – the other HRT babe blog is about stuff that is quite different to this blog. It's about coming out of the negative mind set and depression that I had over the last four years of the menopause. It is about how with my negative state I allowed people of the same mind set into my life – even though they were not suffering from the menopause they were stupendously negative and judgemental – and how they were a negative force. It isn't that interesting but it allows me a platform to have a rant about people that drive me nuts, are selfish, are abusive towards others, are full of self entitlement and about how great I feel coming out of the menopause and how I will no longer put up with the crap of these people dish out and how hat I wouldn't normally spend the time of day with. It's truly not that interesting but it can be wicked! Crikey, if only they could be a fly on the wall eh?!
- 25 February 2009 at 05:49
- Jay said...
"Although I believe in God, or at least a higher being, I am not inclined to believe in spirits and such like and with a science background tend to be pragmatic about what happens after death but this 'visit' from Ella I cannot explain"
There is so much in your post that I can identify with, but this statement really stands out. I am struggling at the moment with a similar dichotomy of feeling. I believe in God - or at least a higher being - but mainstream religion has so many elements I can't deal with. However, certain experiences, like yours with Ella, have taught me that there is no black and white. Science and rational thinking cannot explain everything because we simply don't have all the pieces of the puzzle, do we?
Your description of being left at school stirred memories of my own abandonment which I thought I'd forgotten. I suddenly remembered which coat Mum was wearing that day - I can see her back now, as she walked away - and exactly which window I was staring out from, in which room ...
I like the way you write. You are very talented! I'm glad you popped in to see me!
- 25 February 2009 at 08:22
- loong said...
When you smile, I smile, that's the deal.
I will not walk past you and not look you in the eyes and not acknowledge you.
Instead we will pass each other and say hello.
Not with our words, for they are not the same; but with our faces.
I meet you and I see there is good in your eyes, there's passion in your heart and there's a friendly hello in your smile.
And for the first time we can relate and appreciate each other.
That's all it takes, that's where it starts.
Because I know that you will smile and I will smile and the rest is easy.
- 25 February 2009 at 15:43
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
Jay – I had a Catholic upbringing, school, home, church. I do understand the struggle to understand what is out there. I made a deal with God one night when I was falling to pieces after my parents died and I was struggling to stop crying, to take deep breaths. I guess it was a panic attack but I didn't know that then. I found I had to believe in a higher being as I so desperately want to see my family again one day. It was the only way I could come to terms with losing them together. I don't practice Catholicism - organised religion leaves me cold, but I pray in my own way and live by Christian standards – well mostly! I think we all need something to believe in. Thanks for your lovely comment too.
Loong – thank you! A lovely piece of prose!
- 26 February 2009 at 11:27
- GoneBackSouth said...
Oh, MOB, you write about amazing things with an astonishingly compelling style - I love reading your posts. Thanks too for the kind words you said over at mine! I'll be reading you still. See you SOON! x
- 26 February 2009 at 21:06
- menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...
GBS - Thank you for such lovely words and from a talented writer like yourself too. I can't wait to see your new blog. Come back soon dear girl. You wsill be missed.
- 27 February 2009 at 12:58
- Casdok said...
Beautiful and sad. So well written. You have talent girl!
- 27 February 2009 at 17:01

subset: commoncrawl


text:
5 Best Coffees in Seoul
If there's one thing Koreans can't live without (besides Kimchi), it would have to be their cup of Iced Americano. As seen in many Koreans dramas, for instance, Descendants of the Sun, where Song Joong Ki plays the main lead in the show, most of the scenes when they are catching up over things, will be at a cafe. We traveled around Seoul in search for the best coffee chains that you can find and we found a few that stood out amongst the plethora of coffee chains that you can find here.
#1 – Breadone Coffee
This cup of Iced Americano doesn't look that intimidating at first, but it packs a full punch of depth. One of the top contenders when compared to the other coffee chains in Seoul.
Where? > Breadone Coffee, Dongdaemun
#2 – Coffeesmith
Apart from its top-notch exterior in Gangnam, Coffeesmith is one that's worth trying if you're looking for something that isn't too strong.
The coffee itself was not as bitter as the one from Breadone Coffee and it's not as overpowering as I thought it would be. There's also a list of other coffee drinks and Pâtisseries you can choose from the menu too. At this outlet, I noticed that the seating area was large enough to house a large groups of people. A great option if you're looking for a venue to have a discussion with a large group over some coffee.
Where? > CoffeeSmith, Garosugil, Gangnam
#3 – Ediya Coffee
Ediya Coffee is one of the popular coffee chains that you can find across Korea. With outlets that can be commonly found in populated areas such Myeongdong and Hongdae, Ediya Coffee's Iced Americano has a thicker texture to it, with much more depth than that of Coffeesmith's. Ediya's opening hours are pretty long so you can get your caffeine fix at any point in time of the day! They also have a wide range of milkshakes you can choose from.
Where? > Ediya Coffee, Myeongdong
#4 – Holly's Coffee
As for Holly's Coffee, their Iced Americano has a cleaner taste to it. The coffee is really strong and has a lot of depth as well too. Clearly, it was strong to enough to keep me up and running for a few hours, so it's definitely worth trying if you need a short boost of energy.
Where? > Holly's Coffee, Dongdaemun
#5 – Paik's Coffee
Take a walk down the streets of Seoul and you'd be amazed with the number of Paik's Coffee stalls opened around the area. This popular coffee chain, similar to that of Ediya's Coffee, can practically be found at every corner of the street! I was curious to find out what was so popular about this coffee chain so I decided to head in to have a look at the menu.
One of the bestsellers on Paik's Coffee menu would have to be, of course, its Iced Americano. In comparison to the previous Iced Americanos that you can find at the other cafes, this Iced Americano is definitely no match in terms of the strength of the coffee. The large amount of ice in the cup of coffee could have also played a part in making the drink dilute too since it comes in smaller bits and it's easier for the ice to melt.
Besides the Iced Americano, you can try out the other drinks such as their famous Chocolate or Strawberry Banana drink or their Iced Mocha that's perfect to opt for during the blazing hot Seoul summer days.
Where? > Jongno
A foodie at heart with a passion for videography, Shazrina is born and raised in Singapore with a strong love for anything Korean. This die-hard shopaholic has a strong desire to travel and explore the world, nothing can stop this adrenaline junkie from trying out new things. She loves watching YouTube videos and video editing of all sorts. Check out her Instagram @kimikoshaz to lookout where she's heading off to next!


text:
Butternut & Feta Quiche
I absolutely LOVE quiche. In every shape, size and form. I think it's the ultimate summer food. It's great for a easy-going lunch, a light dinner and picnics. The possibilities really are endless and there is just so much you can do with it.
Butternut & Feta really is one of my ULIMATE combo's. The sweetness of the butternut just goes perfectly with the saltiness of the Feta and it's a match made in heaven.You could also add some chopped red chilli to this for some added zing.
1 roll, Ready-Rolled Puff Pastry
1 Large Butternut, peeled, de-seeded and cubed and cooked 3/4 (I roasted mine in a hot oven for 15 mins)
3 Feta Rounds, Cubed
4 Large Eggs
250ml Cream (I used Reduced Fat)
1tbsn Fresh Thyme
1tsp Wholegrain Mustard
Salt and Black pepper to taste
- Roll out the pastry to fit into your quiche dish, place it in the dish and remove the excess pastry. Place in the refrigerator for 10 minutes.
- Mix together the eggs, cream, thyme, mustard and seasoning (keep in mind the feta is very salty so go lightly with the salt) and set aside.
- When the pastry is cold, remove it from the fridge and arrange the Cooked Butternut and Feta Cheese on the bottom.
- Pour over the 'custard', making sure it's evenly distributed.
- Bake in a 180°C oven for 15-20 minutes until the Quiche is set and the pastry has browned slightly.
- Serve with a nice zesty Salad.


text:
Herobrine's Lair is an epic adventure map which features 10 extremely challenging boss fights. This is one of the most difficult maps you will ever play and will have to battle your way through hordes of mobs to reach the ultimate battle against Herobrine! This map is designed for 2 players, but can be played with between 1 and 4.
- 6 Bosses, 3 Secret Bosses, 1 SUPER BOSS
- Custom Gear and Custom Shops
- Secret Areas and Treasures
- Customized Mobs
- Traps
- Engaging Storyline
- Created by PopularMMOs
1. Download the Zipped file and open it.
2. Search %appdata% on your PC.
3. Open Roaming, then .minecraft, then saves.
4. Drop the file from the Zip into that folder.
5. Play!
Important Information
- If you play my map, make sure to leave a link to my trailer in the
- Make sure to have command blocks enabled
- DO NOT load the map in peaceful
- DO NOT re-host my download link anywhere!
RECOMMENDED TEXTURE PACK: VonDoomCraft
- Use the lower resolution texture pack if you have a lower end PC


text:
The 45th Annual CMA Awards, hosted by Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood, airs live from the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. Previously announced performers include Jason Aldean, The Band Perry, Luke Bryan, Eric Church, Faith Hill, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert, Blake Shelton, Taylor Swift, Thompson Square, Keith Urban and Chris Young.
Plus Kenny Chesney and Grace Potter singing their hit collaboration, You and Tequila, Rascal Flatts and Natasha Bedingfield singing their current hit duet, "Easy," and co-hosts Paisley and Underwood in their first live televised-performance of their No. 1 song, "Remind Me." The 45th Annual CMA Awards airs tonight at 8 p.m. on ABC.
Survivor: South Pacific: After a shocking betrayal, one castaway faces the wrath of a former alliance, and a double eviction rocks the newly merged Te Tuna tribe, tonight at 9 p.m. on CBS.
Psych: After the hitting coach of Santa Barbara's minor league baseball team mysteriously drops dead, the team's manager hires Psych to investigate by having Shawn (James Roday) go undercover as the new hitting instructor and having Gus (Dule Hill) stepping in as the team mascot, the Seabird, airing tonight at 10 p.m. on USA Network. Danny Glover, Michael Trucco and Wade Boggs guest star.


text:
St. James's Budget Christmas Number (30 November 1897): 8 (top) and Harper's Weekly (4 December 1897): 1204 (bottom). 30 November and 4 December 1897. Lithograph, 8.5 cm high by 13.5 cm wide.— illustration for Thomas Hardy's "The Grave by the Hand-post" by George M. Patterson.
Scanned image, caption, and commentary by Philip V. Allingham [You may use this image without prior permission for any scholarly or educational purpose as long as you (1) credit the person who scanned the image and (2) link your document to this URL.]
Other illustrations of this work
Last modified 20 December 2007


text:
Research Output per year
Personal profile
After two years as lecturer in Translation Studies at University of Edinburgh, Marion joined the School of Management and Languages in 2008 as lecturer in Translation Studies and German. She graduated with a first degree in Translation Studies from University of Heidelberg, Germany, and with a PhD in Corpus-based Translation Studies from Dublin City University, Ireland.
Membership of professional bodies/boards
Professional member of the Bundesverband der Dolmetscher und Übersetzer (BDÜ)
Professional member of the Irish Translators' and Interpreters' Association (ITIA)
Member of the International Association for Translation and Intercultural Studies (IATIS)
Member of the IATIS Publications Committee
Founding editor and editorial board member of New Voices in Translation Studies
Research interests
- Corpus-based Translation Studies
- Corpus Linguistics
- Translational Stylistics
- Literary Translation
Marion's doctoral thesis focused on the extent to which narrative communication is influenced by individual translators' stylistic choices. For this project she compiled a German-English parallel corpus of literary texts and a reference corpus of literature translated into German and developed an analytical framework within which the different communicative layers of a literary narrative text could be addressed.
More recently, Marion has been interested in the text genre of autobiographies. Using corpus methodologies, she investigates how the autobiographical pact (Lejeune 1994), which refers to the identity between author, narrator and character, becomes more complex when the translator joins in the narrative communication, in other words, how the translator's stylistic choices influence the characterization of the autobiographed figure and how this in turn influences the relationship between the autobiographed figure and the reader of the translation.
PhD supervision
All aspects of corpus-linguistic methodologies are of interest, especially issues related to translation studies but also including issues related to other (sub)disciplines/subject areas. Proposals on stylistics, author/translator identity and characterization are particularly welcome.
Fingerprint Fingerprint is based on mining the text of the person's scientific documents to create an index of weighted terms, which defines the key subjects of each individual researcher.
Research Output 2007 2018
The case of Natascha Wodin's autobiographical novels - a corpus-stylistics approachWinters, M., 14 Jun 2018, The Palgrave Handbook of Literary Translation. Boase-Beier, J., Fisher, L. & Furukawa, H. (eds.). Palgrave Macmillan, p. 145-166 (Palgrave Studies in Translating and Interpreting).
Research output: Chapter in Book/Report/Conference proceeding › Chapter (peer-reviewed)
A Textual and Paratextual Analysis of an Emigrant Autobiography and Its TranslationWinters, M., 26 Jan 2017, Translating Holocaust Lives. Boase-Beier, J., Davies, P., Hammel, A. & Winters, M. (eds.). 1st ed. Bloomsbury, (Bloomsbury Advances in Translation).
Research output: Chapter in Book/Report/Conference proceeding › Chapter (peer-reviewed)
Translating Holocaust LivesWinters, M. (ed.), Boase-Beier, J. (ed.), Davies, P. (ed.) & Hammel, A. (ed.), Jan 2017, 1st ed. Bloomsbury. (Bloomsbury Advances in Translation)
Research output: Book/Report › Book
Hans-Christian Oeser: Translation strategies of a literary translatorWinters, M., 2015, Cultural/Literary Translators: Selected Irish-German Biographies II. Egger, S. (ed.). Trier: Wissenschaftlicher Verlag Trier, p. 210-224 (Irish-German Studies; vol. 9).
Research output: Chapter in Book/Report/Conference proceeding › Chapter
Narrative shifts in translated autobiographyWinters, M., Apr 2014, In : inTRAlinea. 16
Research output: Contribution to journal › Article


text:
Nothing can be more devastating than finding one's self in the midst of trouble because of other people. As this may happen to anyone, there is a need to make sure that each and every person is aware of his rights, most especially, in the eyes of the medical law. With this in mind, people who are suffering should consider what professional medical negligence solicitors can do for them. What is professional negligence?
To make it simple, professional negligence pertains to a professional's recklessness that has resulted to another's mishap. There are other details related to this.
The Way Solicitors Help
Basically, people who are in the said situation may ask for assistance so that negligence claim can be made feasible. When does one qualify for this though?
- There is a legal contract for a solicitor. This should be made under a retainer.
- The professionals were negligent in the work provided for you.
- There was financial loss involved as an aftermath.
All of the aforementioned may entitle a person to file for claims. However, this is not as easy as it appears like. Of course, evidence should be provided in order for a case to be filed. With this in mind, it would also be useful to understand the other definitions of negligence. What are these? When you are owed care for duty, but was not provided accordingly, hence, it resulted for loss.
By nature, this case is complex. Complainants should know what they are getting into. What are the vital points to ponder when it comes to professional-negligence?
- Duty of Care
This duty of care is taken care of by a retainer. This pertains to a legal contract. This is established between the client and the solicitor. Solicitors owe this duty of care to their clients. Meaning, they should make sure that their clients are free from injury. If this occurs otherwise, and then there is professional negligence.
- Suffer a Loss
For every personal injury claim, the solicitor is a part. If he fails to issue proceedings, and then the claim's value may be qualified with the presence of expert accountants, medical evidence or others. The said amount may be utilized in any claiming compensation from the insurers of the negligent solicitor. A lawyer will take charge in the assessment of the claim. This is also a chance to study the ins and outs of the whole court system.
The Complexity of the Case
Just like any case, professional negligence is ever-evolving and complex. It will be impossible to succeed in this without the presence of an expert. In that case, contacting a professional lawyer is the answer. The person to work with should be capable of helping the individual pursue under-settled claim. This should also be done for those who had lost the chance to claim already because of various reasons. For instance, missed deadline may be experienced here.
To select a professional-negligence lawyer, check the background of the person eyed for. Track the cases handled by the attorney too.


text:
I've had a few people in the past few weeks tell me that they read my blog, and to those folks I say hello and thank you. I'm pretty much constantly under the impression that no one reads this, so it's nice to hear that people do. I hope that doesn't sound like me fishing for people to acknowledge my blog; at this point it's just going to embarrass us both, so let's just leave it unsaid, shall we?
I bought myself a new digital camera for my birthday, but I have yet to hook it up to my computer. But when I do, you'll see pictures of various interesting events, including but not limited to Dan Aykroyd backstage with the cast and our Mainstage Halloween Costume exchange 2006. Watch for it!
In addition to meeting Dan Aykroyd, who was extremely nice, we also met Michael Moore and his wife when they came to our show last month. He was also very nice, and even apologized when someone booed during one of our scenes, claiming that the boo was most likely directed at him. I'm sure he's used to it. What's funny is that the boo came during a song about Bush not spending enough money on education, which seems like a funny thing to boo. The booer had kept quiet when we tackled the war in Iraq and gay marriage, but for some reason education really sticks in his craw. Bah, learning!


text:
Trust Officer
- Werkgever
- T&P Legal
- Locatie
- Capelle a/d IJssel
- Begint
- Online via JBB t/m
- Functie type
- Bedrijfsjurist, Legal Counsel
- Branche
- Juridisch, Zakelijke dienstverlening
On behalf of Earl Trustees, based in Capelle a/d IJssel, we are searching for an ambitious
Trust Officer
A position which we like to fulfil with a smart & dedicated professional with a solution driven attitude with strong intercultural communication skills and the right motivation to excel. As a Trust Officer at Earl Trustees you will work in a demanding and international environment.
In this role you are part of our small dedicated team and you act closely with your international colleague from the offices of Earl Group in Switzerland, Great-Britain, Guernsey, Israel and South Africa.
Are you searching for a job that will challenge you? And do you want to develop yourself within a dynamic and international working environment in which you have to work independently and in a team with dedicated professionals on various customer and internal activities? Then you are the right candidate for the team of Earl Trustees!
The company
Earl Trustees BV is a trust-boutique with more than 25 years extensive experience in the international corporate trust services industry. The company is the Dutch branch in the Rotterdam area of the international operating Earl Group.com
As a dedicated team, they serve international customers in different sectors by delivering high-quality corporate, treasury and administrative services and solutions complying with our high quality standards and (inter-)national legislation and guidelines.
Earl Trustees stands for high standards of quality of his professionalism and his integrity, his activities and processes and his business services. Based on their "quality management system", they continually evaluate and improve their quality standards for their activities and processes in order to continue to comply with their values, legislation and guidelines. To ensure bespoke administrative quality and to be able to offer a full and integrated service package to its clients Earl Trustees, although independent, has a strategic partnership with Torn Belastingadvies B.V.
The position
In your daily business you are part of a team of tax specialists, accountants and secretarial support who are jointly responsible for the daily management of our customer portfolio. You maintain contact with (financial) managers, company departments, tax and supervisory authorities, continuously monitor our compliance with the regulations and organize and manage board meetings. You report directly to the shareholder. As a Trust Officer you work together with internal and external stakeholders. In this role you are continuously challenged to develop yourself within your role and in the company.
Your responsibilities
As a part of the small team operating in an international working environment you will have the following two main responsibilities: clients and organisation.
Client responsibilities
- Contacts with clients and/or other (internal/external) stakeholders;
- Due diligence on new clients;
- Quotations for potential and existing customers;
- Coordination of the day-to-day client corporate secretarial and legal matters;
- Compliance of the clients files;
- Transaction monitoring;
- Maintain the client relations on a satisfactory level of long-term relationship.
Organizational responsibilities
- Keep existing work standards and procedures compliant with legislation and guidelines;
- Recognize business opportunities for new and existing contacts to contribute to the business development of clients and of Earl Trustees, safeguarding Earl Trustees interest;
- Organise the Earl Trustee board meetings;
- Billing and managing the accounts receivables;
- Monitor internal and external industry developments and share relevant information, to contribute to the desired knowledge level within Earl Trustees.
About you
Working with Earl Trustees means that you are entering a dynamic, international and growth-oriented team with a lot of own responsibilities. Key points of the team are integrity, quality, speed, personal commitment, reliability and transparency. Teamwork is especially important in this position and in that scope you will cooperate and assist your team members. For this we want your personal and formal skills and performance to meet our requirements. They are recognized by the following points:
Personal skills and performance
- Strong motivation and capacity to work in a small team in a dynamic and challenging environment;
- Strong sense of responsibility;
- Able to deal with competing pressures;
- Energizing team player with the ability to work successfully in a fast pace and in a demanding environment;
- Commercial and customer-oriented, hands-on and international mind set;
- Strong organizational skills;
- Develop and update technical skills and professional knowledge;
- Meeting or exceeding internal quality standards for exceptional customer service.
Formal Requirements
- A Master degree in Dutch corporate law or fiscal law;
- Good social and professional communication skills in English (and in Dutch as well);
- At least a minimum of 3-5 years of relevant working experience in a trust company;
- You are familiar with the relevant Dutch regulations .
The offer
- A challenging and rewarding role in an global business;
- Opportunities for personal and professional career development;
- Great working environment, competitive salary and opportunities for educational support;
- Working in a dedicated professional team, renowned for its excellence.
Please send us your resume including notes on application (match, motivation) to email@example.com
Confidentiality is guaranteed
Vergelijkbare zoekopdrachten: Bedrijfsjurist, Juridisch, Legal Counsel, Zakelijke dienstverlening


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Tuxedos by Savvi's award-winning catalog makes selecting your formal wear easy, and Tuxedos by Savvi retailers are specifically selected because they are the most knowledgeable stylists in their area. Enjoy the best formalwear experience when you visit a location near you today!


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Excel spreadsheet turned into App (Android and IOs)
Budget $30-250 USD
I have an excel spreadsheet and I'd like to transform it into a simple Android/IOs app. You can see the public version of the spreadsheet here: [url removed, login to view]
As you can see, users enter the percentages and the sheet transforms them into electoral projections using my formulas. The public version hides the other sheets and the formulas. It's an electoral forecasting simulator for Quebec.
So basically, the mobile app would allow users to enter the number and returns the projections. Presentation could be very simple, with mostly 5-6 cases and the respective logos.
I have to add that I'll most likely modify the spreadsheet in the near future (especially in the middle of the election, as candidates drop, etc), so I'd like a developper who could do some quick and minimalist changes to the app. Also, I'm considering offering two apps, one free displaying the total results, and one premium where you have the riding by riding number. But these are the details we can discuss once I chose someone. (if I appreciate your services, I'll have apps for other elections coming later, so that could be recurring money for you).
Oh, the app would have to be in french. There is very little text, but we can't have somethign like "enter your percentages here", this sentence would have to be in french. Obviously, I can provide you with the complete translation of everything.
Ideally, I'd like an app for Android and IOS (Iphone mostly, no need of a tablet specific one for what I offer). I don,t know how difficult it is to convert from on system to the other. If you can only do once, I'd have to go with the Iphone though.
The deadline is early August.
Thanks a lot.
Awarded to:
Hello, Thanks for posting the project on Guru, the project requirements completely falls under our domain and where this project exactly matches with our technical strengths and our abilities to deliver the work on More
3 freelancers are bidding on average $143 for this job
*** AMERICAN PROVIDER HERE *** I'm your huckleberry. I read your project details and would like to discuss further. Please see next message for details. ***
Provide your details for bid: A team of 3 enthusiasts iOS developers, iOS UI designer and all of them having more than 3 years of development experience. I am sending you my portfolio and queries regarding the app via More


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Some of these items are for sale in our store and some of them have been sold but they can be made again!
Some of these items are for sale in our store and some of them have been sold but they can be made again!
My stained glass window inset fell into the bathtub this week and shattered and bent the frame in a few places. I have another one in an adjacent window that is still intact. It measures about 4 ft long X almost 4 ft. Wide. My husband says it likely is not the best quality as US homes put it in a few of the homes in our subdivision back in the late 1980's. Questions: is the old frame salvageable or should we chuck it? Approximately how much per square foot to build another one. I can send a picture of the remaining window inset.
I gave all of my equipment and glass to my daughter back in Illinois, but I want to make a wedding gift for my granddaughter. Is it possible to use your tools and buy the needed materials and make one in your shop?
Would you sell me a bucket of scrap glass? I can pick it up today.
Do you have any panels for front door side windows? If so, can you show them on line with a price? I need one that is about 9 inches wide and up to 80 inches long, or anything elongated to hang in front of my current panel of plain glass.
Comments are closed.


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Growing up, I used to love reading. For a solitary little girl it was entertainment and education, an escape and a refuge. But somehow, along the way, growing up, I lost the habit of reading. For a long time, it was replaced by music (listening and playing) but that love faded too. Recent years have brought other preoccupations but lately I've been missing the simple pleasure of reading.
I was talking about all this with a friend whose judgement I trust, and she thought that something by Neil Gaiman might be a good starting point. She suggested a compilation of his short stories, Fragile Things; unfortunately the small bookshop I tried didn't have it in stock. They did have a copy of another collection, Smoke and Mirrors, so that's what I ended up with. And I'd say that my friend made a good call. I've been finding the stories easy to read, engaging, intelligent and evocative, and I'm able to imagine the events and scenes fairly easily. So far, so good.
Then last night I settled down to read Changes and it really stopped me in my tracks. It's a very short story indeed, no more than ten pages, but it's given me much to think about. And the more I think about it, the less comfortable with it I become.
Several thoughts came to mind as I read the story; I'm setting them out here in quite a random manner, more or less as they occurred to me. I just need to get them out of my head.
In the story the protagonist, a scientist named Rajit, devises a cure for cancer:
"[…] it's like a computer program. Instead of trying to fix the glitches caused by a corrupted program one by one, symptom by symptom, you can just reinstall the program. All the information's there all along. We just have to tell our bodies to go and recheck the RNA and the DNA – reread the program if you will. And then reboot."
Working in IT and being a little bit of a computer geek, I found this a striking metaphor (analogy?) that I could follow quite easily. The twist in the tale was that the cure has the side effect of 'reformatting' the subject's body into the opposite sex.
To this trans woman, that idea was, at least initially and superficially, quite exciting. If only such a thing had been available half a century ago, no doubt this life of mine would have turned out very differently.
Once I got past that particular thought, it occurred to me that, for all that the story had chimed with me, it could only have been written by a cis person. Now, I know it's only a work of fiction and in the back of my mind a small voice is saying "ohz noez Helen Teh Angry Trans Harpy is over-analysing again", nevertheless it's provoked in me a strong enough reaction that I feel the need to put fingers to keyboard.
To me, the giveaway that this is a cis person's writing is the complete lack of awareness of the concept of gender dissonance – the sense that one's subconscious and physical sexes are misaligned. As I've previously said elsewhere, gender dissonance has been – and still is, to a degree – one of the most fundamental and important characteristics of my personal experience of, and coming to terms with, being a transsexual woman. And that fact definitely affected the way I read the story – and in return, the story affected me in a way which I imagine would be almost incomprehensible to many cis people. For example:
Jo/e wakes at 10 P.M., feeling tender and new. Back when Jo/e first started on the party scene, each change would prompt a severe self-examination, peering at moles and nipples, foreskin or clit, finding out which scars had vanished and which ones had remained. But Jo/e's now an old hand at this […]
It's a bit surprising that there's no real consideration of Jo/e's state of mind. I've talked to enough cis people to realise that it's almost impossible for most to grasp the concept of gender dissonance. The best way I've been able to put it to people is to ask how they would feel if they woke up one day feeling exactly the same inside – but with a penis instead of a vagina, or vice versa. It's a clumsy and flawed way to think of it, but sometimes you get the faintest glimmer of insight from the other person. The point being that, inside, I don't know that I feel very much different from the way I did before I transitioned. I've known I'm female for more years than I can remember; unfortunately I was born male-bodied and society has treated me as such, and that has left its own scars – but now, at least, my body's much more in line with what my brain's expecting.
So I can imagine that, to go to sleep tonight as Helen, and wake up tomorrow male-bodied once again, would be very, very distressing. So why should that be any different for Jo/e? Perhaps familiarity would breed contempt and one would become quite blasé about such a change. But I'm not so sure. One week after my surgery, when I stood in front of the mirror and saw the body that at last looked the way it should, the flood of emotions I felt was so intense, so overwhelming… I don't think I've ever cried with happiness in my life, but I did on that morning. And it's hard to imagine that such a transformation could ever become mundane, commonplace.
I know, I know: "it's just a story", it's "only" a work of fiction, but in its way, the paragraph I've quoted above pinpoints one of the biggest problems of cis people deciding to hold forth on trans issues: a total lack of understanding of the lived experiences of trans people, people like me. That's not to say that cis people shouldn't talk about trans issues, but it would be more bearable if they at least researched the subject in a little more depth before opening their mouths. Also, the question of language is always difficult – there is no really comprehensive vocabulary available to us to describe what we go through; having to use terms and concepts which we know are inaccurate but are all we have to work with, creates a subtle and nuanced dissonance of its own.
But I digress.
Another aspect of 'Changes' which has been on my mind is the somewhat essentialist assumption that there is only a M/F gender binary to change between.
Tomorrow night Jo/e will take another dose; Jo/e's job identity during the week is strictly male.
What if Jo/e was genderqueer, or intersex, to pick but two examples? Would ze even want to wake up as either male or female? I have an advantage in that sense, in that I have always identified as female and that would certainly make a decision about undergoing that reformatting a relatively easy one. But there are many, many more people in my community who wouldn't be in such a comparatively fortunate position.
The next stumbling block in this story comes with this line:
While Rajit realised that Reboot would make gender-reassignment surgery obsolete, it never occurred to him that anyone might wish to take it for reasons of desire or curiosity or escape.
"Reasons of desire", I'm afraid, immediately makes me think of the naïve idea that we transition for kicks, for sexual thrills. It conflates 'sex' with 'gender' and erases the fact that transsexuality is first and foremost about identity. "Curiosity"? "Escape"? These are not the reasons I transitioned. My transition was a matter of survival – literally change or die – and it's an ongoing, lifelong process. I didn't wake up alone in that semi-dark recovery room in a hospital, 6000 miles from my friends and the place I call home and think "Oh okay, that's it, I'm all done and dusted now", with everything ticked off on some imaginary checklist. The suggestion that we transition for such superficial reasons as curiosity or escape I find offensive. It diminishes and trivialises our experiences and is frankly disrespectful of the paths we follow, the extremes to which we are driven in pursuit of that sense of being whole, and real in this world – a sense which is such an integral part of cis people's existences that they are, by and large, utterly unaware of the precious luxury of what they have.
For a clever man, Rajit was remarkably shortsighted. There were a few things he failed to foresee. For example:
That there would be people who would rather die than experience a change in gender.
That certainly rang a bell. I can imagine various religious and political factions of the Right being none too happy about such a chemical transformation being widely available, no matter how beneficial its primary function (a cure for most cancers).
And I believe I know more than a few cis women radical feminists who might not be best pleased at seeing their precious essentialist dogma being so comprehensively dismantled before their very eyes. Although, I suppose one could hope that some might try it for themselves and actually learn something from the experience. Because while it may heighten their belief that gender is only a social construct, it would fly in the face of their simultaneously held, contradictory view that one is born and remains immutably woman (or man).
I've written far more than I originally thought, and to be honest I'm not sure I've said what I wanted to in a clearly understandable way. But if nothing else, the fact that I've sat here and written such a long piece, in one 'take', no interruptions, must surely highlight how strongly Changes affected me. And despite my reservations and criticisms, I think that my reaction might also point up the skill of Neil Gaiman as a writer; that one short story can generate such a response surely speaks volumes.