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Spring 2020 classes have resumed online.Please visit
dcccd.edu/coronavirus for additional information and to
learn how to prepare for online classes.
Have you ever thought about adopting?
In the U.S. alone, there are more than 100,000 children looking for a place to call home. They are in need of a loving family and new life.
And if you expand your view, to a global perspective, that number rises drastically. Globally, an estimated 140 million kids are motherless and fatherless.
We are facing an orphan crisis.
In the United States, an estimated two% of Americans step forward every year to help these orphans. They view adoption as a way to fulfill a need – whether it be saving a life, growing their family or giving their children a new sibling. Sometimes it is even all three.
Today you are going to meet a few of those fearless parents. Men and women who are caring, strong and from your community. Their stories have been gathered in honor of National Adoption Awareness Month by the
DCCCD Foster Student Program.


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Hawaii Court Records
This entry was originally written by Dwight A. Radford for Red Book: American State, County, and Town Sources.
The 'Act to Organize the Judiciary' of 1847 set up four levels of courts in Hawaii: the state supreme court, the superior courts, circuit courts, and district courts. Each of these courts have records of genealogical value. Many of these court records are on file at the Hawaii State Archives and on microfilm at the FHL.
The state supreme court in Hawaii has final appellate jurisdiction in all cases from inferior courts and original jurisdiction to issue all writs over its appellate jurisdiction. Supreme court cases prior to October 1904 are filed with the first circuit court records. If it was an appeal from the first circuit, the records were filed with the original case; if the appeal was from another circuit, the case was given a first circuit number according to the type of case. For example, if a probate was appealed from the second, third, fourth, or fifth circuit, the appeal record will be filed and indexed as though it were a first circuit case. Supreme court cases after October 1904 are filed with the state supreme court clerk's office.
The superior court of law and equity is an appellate court for most cases and a court of origin primarily for cases involving the government, admiralty affairs, bankruptcy, and foreign officials. In 1852 the original state supreme court was abolished and the superior court became the state supreme court.
On 1 January 1893 the circuit court was organized into five districts as follows: first circuit (Oahu); second circuit (Maui, Molokai, and Lanai); third circuit (Kau, Kohala, and Kona on Hawaii); fourth circuit (Hamakua, Hilo, and Puna on Hawaii); fifth circuit (Kauai and Niihau). This division continued until 1943 when the third and fourth circuits were combined, the fourth circuit was abolished and the Island of Hawaii once again became the third circuit court. These courts are over criminal cases, probate cases, and divorce cases. Juvenile cases are under the circuit courts in a family court division.
Family court cases usually involve paternity, guardianship, adoption, FC (misdemeanors and felonies), UCCJ (Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction), miscellaneous, and domestic abuse. The only type of family court records that are restricted and not open to the public are cases involving adoption, paternity, and guardianship. Others can be viewed at the courthouses as long as they are not marked confidential.
There are four district courts (or justice courts) in Hawaii with divisions the same as the circuit courts. There are smaller districts on each island. Their jurisdiction involves minor criminal and civil cases.

subset: commoncrawl


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Festive Holiday Decor on Sale for Black Friday
Today is the day - it is officially time to deck the halls! Today I'll be offering my biggest specials of the season - linens, cookie cutters, boxwood wreaths and Free Shipping on all orders over $50. Today is the day!
This weekend we're heading to the farm to pick out our tree, next week we have big plans get a jump on our holiday baking (freezing sugar cookies!), adding festive touches throughout the house and wreaths in every window. I hope my specials today help you "deck" your own halls and find gifts for your loved ones. Don't forget to stock up on festive ribbons and gift wrap to wrap up all of those great deals you're getting today!
My Black Friday specials :▪ 20% off Herringbone Throws
▪ Copper Cookie Cutters bundle of 4, $48 ($12 off!)
▪ Up to 20% off Linens
▪ Boxwood Wreaths, $5 off
▪ *Free Shipping on orders over $50 (use the code : DECKTHEHALLS at checkout)
▪ As always, all orders with a Gift Card will receive a Free Shipping code to use for their next order.
Officially... Happy Holidays and Happy Decking the Halls!


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Welcome to our Mother's Day edition of LightBox Follow Friday, a series where we feature the work of photographers who are using Instagram in new and engaging ways. Each week we introduce you to the person behind the feed through his or her pictures, and feature an interview with the photographer.
For this week's special Mother's Day edition of #LightBoxFF, TIME speaks to photographer Tierney Gearon (@tierneygearon), whose says she uses Instagram to capture the magic and immediate moments of family life, and visually share a piece of her existence with the world.
LightBox: Your Instagram feed revolves around your family and your personal life. What is it like sharing that part of yourself with so many people?
TG: Instgram is a very special way of sharing. I'm very careful about what I post because I am sharing my life and my family. I want to share images of our life, but at the same time I am careful not to show images in a way that gives you an insight into the life and personality of just one person or child. I share a variety of images that all connect, but I'm not just telling one story.
LightBox: How are you using Instagram now, and how has it become a part of your professional practice.
TG: When I first joined Instagram I only posted what I took from my iPhone, and always something that happened that day. Every now and then I post an image I did not take on my iPhone, but that's very rare. I treat Instagram the same way I do my personal photo projects: I do it because I love it. I am a perfectionist. I want every post to be something special. Instagram allows people to share personal moments, which is so much more intimate and instant than sending out a portfolio.
May 26, 2013. My beautiful mother, whose spirit keeps me going.
LightBox: What is the purpose of your feed? What does Instagram provide for you that other platforms don't.
I love sharing my creative moments with the world. It feels good to be able to give a visual gift to people, like I'm giving a piece of myself to the world. I try to inspire and stimulate people's minds. A year ago Instagram started following me. When that happens, people around the world you would never have access to start following you.
LightBox: Why did you start using Instagram, and how has your use of it changed since your first post?
TG: About two-and-a-half years ago I had six kids in my house from the ages of 14 to 21 and they were all using and talking about Instagram, so I decided to join and start posting. At first it was fun to post moments we could share with each other and our close friends who followed us. When I started having more followers and understanding how Instagram worked I became more careful about what I would post. I want to take advantage of this incredible opportunity to share interesting visuals of my life, but not in an offensive way. I don't want to appear too flashy or sexual. My goal is to inspire and stimulate, not show off or insult.
View this post on Instagram
DAY TWO family road trip. CLEARiNG THE BRUSH . When ever We travel I always like to go through residential areas and meet different people who may be out working in The yard walking on the street . Today just at sunset we came across these children clearing the brush in their front yard.
Dec. 13, 2013. Family Road Trip, Day Two.
LightBox: Which post inspired the most audience feedback and engagement? Why do you think that photo got people's attention, and do you agree with it?
TG: A few months ago I decided to document a road trip I was on with my kids and friends. Every day I wanted to create an amazing, magical image to share from the trip. It was like people could tune in every day to see what was happening. For months people I didn't even know were following me, telling me how great the road trip was. It was incredibly inspiring . The only drawback was capturing such incredible images on my iPhone and not my professional camera. But I realized maybe it doesn't matter, because the moments I captured and shared were almost like moments that should only have been shared in an instantaneous way, rather than printed and put in a book. It was instant, and that's what made it so special.
Jan. 25, 2013. Almost perfect family photo! Despite the fact I am a photographer I can never get my kids to pose for a family snap shot.
Tierney Gearon is a photographer based in Los Angeles.
Krystal Grow is a writer for TIME LightBox
See more photographers chosen by TIME for #LightBoxFF here


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Aims: To evaluate the patients with pemphigus vulgaris on treatment in respect of osteoporosis and to compare the frequency of osteoporosis in these patients with the healthy ones.
Methods: The study consisted of 40 patients with pemphigus vulgaris and 34 healthy controls. Bone mineral density measurements were obtained by dual- energy X-ray absorptiometry. Blood serum, bone parameters, and biochemical hormonal measurements were examined in both groups.
Results: When the bone mineral density values of patients with pemphigus vulgaris were compared with those of the control group, there was no significant difference between hip bone mineral density values, while lumbar region T and Z scores were found significantly low in the patient group (p = 0.034 and p = 0.006, respectively). Osteoporosis, osteopenia, and normal dual-energy X-ray absorptiometry rates in the patient group were found to be 32.5%, 32.5%, and 35%, respectively. These rates were found to be 18%, 23%, and 59% in control group, respectively. There were more fractures in the patient group and the difference was statistically significant (p = 0.004).
Conclusion: An increase in osteoporosis frequency and secondary fracture to osteoporosis in the patients with pemphigus vulgaris was detected.
Full acticle can be viewed at: Indian Journal of Dermatology


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These pages of this recent book (The Brain That Changes Itself) by psychiatrist Norman Doidge are very relevant to porn addiction, and also, if you keep reading, to how and why oxytocin (connection with others) can help reset the brain:
For more on the book: http://books.google.com/books?id=XvPHiN61mg4C&pg=PA108&dq=%22the+brain+t...
102 The current porn epidemic gives a graphic demonstration that sexual tastes can be acquired. Pornography, delivered by high-speed Internet connections, satisfies every one of the prerequisites for neuroplastic change [forming new neural circuitry- a key piece in addiction].
Pornography seems, at first glance, to be a purely instinctual matter: sexually explicit pictures trigger instinctual responses, which are the product of millions of years of evolution. But if that were true, pornography would be unchanging. The same triggers, bodily parts and their proportions, that appealed to our ancestors would excite us. This is what pornographers would have us believe, for they claim they are battling sexual repression, taboo, and fear and that their goal is to liberate the natural, pent-up sexual instincts.
But in fact the content of pornography is a dynamic phenomenon that perfectly illustrates the progress of an acquired taste. Thirty years ago, "hardcore" pornography usually meant the explicit depiction of sexual intercourse between two aroused partners, displaying their genitals. "Softcore" meant pictures of women, mostly, on a bed, at their toilette, or in some semi-romantic setting, in various states of undress, breasts revealed.
Now hardcore has evolved and is increasingly dominated by the sadomasochistic themes of forced sex, ejaculations on women's faces, and angry anal sex, all involving scripts fusing sex with hatred and humiliation. Hardcore pornography now explores the world of perversion, while softcore is now what hardcore was a few decades ago, [103] explicit sexual intercourse between adults, now available on cable TV. The comparatively tame softcore pictures of yesteryear--women in various states of undress--now show up on mainstream media all day long, in the pornification of everything, including television, rock videos, soap operas, advertisements, and so on.
Pornography's growth has been extraordinary; it accounts for 25 percent of video rentals and is the fourth most common reason people give for going online. An MSNBC.com survey of viewers in 2001 found that 80 percent felt they were spending so much time on pornographic sites that they were putting their relationships or jobs at risk. Softcore pornography's influence is now most profound because, now that it is no longer hidden it influences young people with little sexual experience and especially plastic minds, in the process of forming their sexual tastes and desires. Yet the plastic influence of pornography on adults can also be profound, and those who use it have no sense of the extent to which their brains are reshaped by it.
During the mid- to late 1990s, when the Internet was growing rapidly and pornography was exploding on it, I treated or assessed a number of men who all had essentially the same story. Each had acquired a taste for a kind of pornography that, to a greater or lesser degree, troubled or even disgusted him, had a disturbing effect on the pattern of his sexual excitement, and ultimately affected his relationships and sexual potency.
None of these men were fundamentally immature, socially awkward, or withdrawn from the world into a massive pornography collection that was a substitute for relationships with real women. These were pleasant, generally thoughtful men, in reasonably successful relationships or marriages.
Typically, while I was treating one of these men for some other problem, he would report, almost as an aside and with telling discomfort, that he found himself spending more and more time on the Internet, looking at pornography and masturbating. He might try to [104] ease his discomfort by asserting that everybody did it. In some cases he would begin by looking at a Playboy-type site or at a nude picture or video clip that someone had sent him as a lark. In other cases he would visit a harmless site, with a suggestive ad that redirected him to risque sites, and soon he would be hooked.
A number of these men also reported something else, often in passing, that caught my attention. They reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their actual sexual partners, spouses or girlfriends, though they still considered them objectively attractive. When I asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, they answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex but over time had the opposite effect. Now, instead of using their senses to enjoy being in bed, in the present, with their partners, lovemaking increasingly required them to fantasize that they were part of a porn script. Some gently tried to persuade their lovers to act like porn stars, and they were increasingly interested in "fucking" as opposed to "making love." Their sexual fantasy lives were increasingly dominated by the scenarios that they had, so to speak downloaded into their brains, and these new scripts were often more primitive and more violent than their previous sexual fantasies. I got the impression that any sexual creativity these men had was dying and that they were becoming addicted to Internet porn.
The changes I observed are not confined to a few people in therapy. A social shift is occurring. While it is usually difficult to get information about private sexual mores, this is not the case with pornography today, because its use is increasingly public. This shift coincides with the change from calling it "pornography" to the more casual term "porn." For his book on American campus life, I Am Charlotte Simmons, Tom Wolfe spent a number of years observing students on university campuses. In the book one boy, Ivy Peters, comes into the male residence and says, "Anybody got porn?"
Wolfe goes on, "This was not an unusual request. Many boys [105] spoke openly about how they masturbated at least once every day, as if this were some sort of prudent maintenance of the psychosexual system."One of the boys tells Ivy Peters, "Try the third floor. They got some one-hand magazines up there." But Peters responds, "I've build up a tolerance to magazines...I need videos." Another boy says, "Oh, f'r Chrissake, I.P., it's ten o'clock at night. In another hour the cum dumpsters will start coming over here to spend the night...And you're looking for porn videos and a knuckle fuck." Then Ivy "shrugged and turned his palms up as if to say, 'I want porn. What's the big deal?'"
The big deal is his tolerance. He recognizes that he is like a drug addict who can no longer get high on the images that once turned him on. And the danger is that this tolerance will carry over into relationships, as it did in patients whom I was seeing, leading to potency problems and new, at times unwelcome, tastes. When pornographers boast that they are pushing the envelope by introducing new, harder themes, what they don't say is that they must, because their customers are building up a tolerance to the content. The back pages of men's risque magazines and Internet porn sites are filled with ads for Viagra-type drugs--medicine developed for older men with erectile problems related to aging and blocked blood vessels in the penis. Today young men who surf porn are tremendously fearful of impotence, or "erectile dysfunction" as it is euphemistically called. The misleading term implies that these men have a problem in their penises, but the problem is in their heads, in their sexual brain maps. The penis works fine when they use pornography. It rarely occurs to them that there may be a relationship between the pornography they are consuming and their impotence. (A few men, however, tellingly described their hours at computer porn sites as time spent "masturbating my brains out.")
One of the boys in Wolfe's scene describes the girls who are coming over to have sex with their boyfriends as "cum dumpsters." He too is influenced by porn images, for "cum dumpsters," like many [106] women in porn films, are always eager, available receptacles and therefore devalued.
The addictiveness of Internet pornography is not a metaphor. Not all addictions are to drugs or alcohol. People can be seriously addicted to gambling, even to running. All addicts show a loss of control of the activity, compulsively seek it out despite negative consequences, develop tolerance so that they need higher and higher levels of stimulation for satisfaction, and experience withdrawal if they can't consummate the addictive act.
All addiction involves long-term, sometimes lifelong, neuroplastic change in the brain. For addicts, moderation is impossible, and they must avoid the substance or activity completely if they are to avoid addictive behaviors. Alcoholics Anonymous insists that there are no "former alcoholics" and makes people who haven't had a drink for decades introduce themselves at a meeting by saying, "My name is John, and I am an alcoholic." In terms of [brain] plasticity, they are often correct.
In order to determine how addictive a street drug is, researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) in Maryland train a rat to press a bar until it gets a shot of the drug. The harder the animal is willing to work to press the bar, the more addictive the drug. Cocaine, almost all other illegal drugs, and even nondrug addictions such as running make the pleasure-giving neurotransmitter dopamine more active in the brain. Dopamine is called the reward transmitter, because when we accomplish something--run a race and win--our brain triggers its release. Though exhausted, we get a surge of energy, exciting pleasure, and confidence and even raise our hands and run a victory lap. The losers, on the other hand, who get no such dopamine surge, immediately run out of energy, collapse at the finish line, and feel awful about themselves. By hijacking our dopamine system, addictive substances give us pleasure without our having to work for it.
[107] Dopamine, as we saw in Merzenick's work, is also involved in plastic change. The same surge of dopamine that thrills us also consolidates the neuronal connections responsible for the behaviors that led us to accomplish our goal. When Merzenick used an electrode to stimulate an animal's dopamine reward system while playing a sound, dopamine release stimulated plastic change, enlarging the representation for the sound in the animal's auditory map. An important link with porn is that dopamine is also released in sexual excitement, increasing the sex drive in both sexes, facilitating orgasm, and activating the brain's pleasure centers. Hence the addictive power of pornography.
Eric Nestler, at the University of Texas, has shown how addictions cause permanent changes in the brains of animals. A single dose of many addictive drugs will produce a protein, called delta FosB that accumulates in the neurons. Each time the drug is used, more delta FosB accumulates until it throws a genetic switch, affecting which genes are turned on or off. Flipping this switch causes changes that persist long after the drug is stopped, leading to irreversible damage to the brain's dopamine system and rendering the animal far more prone to addiction. Non-drug addictions, such as running and sucrose drinking, also lead to the accumulation of deltaFosB and the same permanent changes in the dopamine system. [Note: Not sure these are permanent. The study we saw said 1-2 months for lingering deltaFosB. More on Delta FosB, and even more on DeltaFosB.]
Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn't like it. The usual view is that an addict goes back for more of his fix because he likes the pleasure it gives and doesn't like the pain of withdrawal. But addicts take drugs when there is no prospect of pleasure, when they know they have an insufficient dose to make them high, and will crave more before they begin to withdraw. Wanting and liking are two different things.
[108] An addict experiences cravings because his plastic brain has become sensitized to the drug or the experience. Sensitization leads to increased wanting. It is the accumulation of deltaFosB, caused by exposure to an addictive substance or activity, that leads to sensitization.
Pornography is more exciting than satisfying because we have two separate pleasure systems in our brains, one that has to do with exciting pleasure and one with satisfying pleasure. The exciting system relates to the "appetitive" pleasure that we get imagining something we desire, such as sex or a good meal. Its neurochemistry is largely dopamine-related, and it raises our tension level.
The second pleasure system has to do with the satisfaction, or consummatory pleasure, that attends actually having sex or having that meal, a calming, fulfilling pleasure. Its neurochemistry is based on the release of endorphins, which are related to opiates and give a peaceful, euphoric bliss.
Pornography, by offering an endless harem of sexual objects, hyperactivates the appetitive system. Porn viewers develop new maps in their brains, based on the photos and videos they see. Because it is a use-it-or-lose-it brain, when we develop a map area, we long to keep it activated. Just as our muscles become impatient for exercise if we've been sitting all day, so too do our senses hunger to be stimulated.
The men at their computers looking at porn were uncannily like the rats in the cages of the NIH, pressing the bar to get a shot of dopamine or its equivalent. Though they didn't know it, they had been seduced into pornographic training sessions that met all the conditions required for plastic change of brain maps. Since neurons [109] that fire together wire together, these men got massive amounts of practice wiring these images into the pleasure centers of the brain, with the rapt attention necessary for plastic change. They imagined these images when away from their computers, or while having sex with their girlfriends, reinforcing them. Each time they felt sexual excitement and had an orgasm when they masturbated, a "spritz of dopamine," the reward neurotransmitter, consolidated the connections made in the brain during the sessions. Not only did the reward facilitate the behavior; it provoked none of the embarrassment they felt purchasing Playboy at a store. Here was a behavior with no "punishment," only reward.
The content of what they found exciting changed as the Web sites introduced themes and scripts that altered their brains without their awareness. Because plasticity is competitive, the brain maps for new, exciting images increased at the expense of what had previously attracted them--the reason, I believe, they began to find their girlfriends less of a turn-on.
[110]Until he happened upon the spanking pictures, which presumably tapped into some childhood experience or fantasy about being punished, the images he saw interested him but didn't compel him. Other people's sexual fantasies bore us. Thomas's experience was similar to that of my patients; without being fully aware of what they were looking for, they scanned hundreds of images and scenarios until they hit upon an image or sexual script that touched some buried theme that really excited them.
[111]Once Thomas found that image, he changed. That spanking image had his focused attention, the condition for plastic change. And unlike a real woman, these porn images were available all day, every day on the computer.
Now Thomas was hooked. He tried to control himself but was spending at least five hours a day on his laptop. He surfed secretly, sleeping only three hours a night. His girlfriend, aware of his exhaustion, wondered if he was seeing someone else. He became so sleep deprived that his health suffered, and he got a series of infections that landed him in a hospital emergency room and finally caused him to take stock. He began inquiring among his male friends and found that many of them were also hooked.
Hardcore porn unmasks some of the early neural networks that formed in the critical periods of sexual development and brings all these early, forgotten or repressed elements together [112] to form a new network, in which all the features are wired together. Porn sites generate catalogs of common kinks and mix them together in images. Sooner or later the surfer finds a killer combination that presses a number of his sexual buttons at once. Then he reinforces the network by viewing the images repeatedly, masturbating, releasing dopamine and strengthening these networks. He has created a kind of "neosexuality," a rebuilt libido that has strong roots in his buried sexual tendencies. Because he often develops tolerance, the pleasure of sexual discharge must be supplemented with the pleasure of an aggressive release, and sexual and aggressive images are increasingly mingled--hence the increase in sadomasochistic themes in hardcore porn.
Also see this excerpt from Doidge's work, which describes a technique for overcoming compulsive behavior, and this chapter from Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, called The Road to Excess.
Here's another excerpt from Doidge's book, on how a taste for bondage can develop.
On how the brain can modify itself to permit us to fall in love:
Romantic love [ON THE OTHER HAND] triggers such powerful emotion that we can reconfigure what we find attractive, even overcoming "objective" beauty."
113 Being in love triggers an emotional state so pleasurable that it can make even pockmarks attractive, plastically rewiring our aesthetic sense. … Falling in love also lowers the threshold at which the pleasure centers will fire.
114 The addict, the manic and the lover are increasingly filled with hopeful anticipation and are sensitive to anything that might give pleasure…. Because our brains are experiencing a surge of dopamine, which consolidates plastic change, any pleasurable experiences and associations we have in the initial state of love are thus wired into our brains. [It] not only allows us to take more pleasure in the world, it also makes it harder for us to experience pain and displeasure or aversion. … Things that normally bother us don't. [Being in love] makes it harder for us to be unhappy.
116 A tolerance, akin to tolerance for a drug, can develop in happy lovers as they get used to each other. Dopamine likes novelty. [Advises lovers to surprise each other]
… Love creates a generous state of mind. Because love allows us to experience as pleasurable situations or physical features that we otherwise might not, it also allows us to unlearn negative associations, another plastic phenomenon.
117 Different chemistries are involved in learning that in unlearning … Unlearning and weakening connections between neurons is just as plastic a process, and just as important, as learning and strengthening them. …Evidence suggestions that unlearning existing memories is necessary to make room for new memories in our networks.
118 [Say goodbye to flashbacks…in a sort of grieving process? He says that releasing each intense memory of a loved one who is gone - in a mini ritual of farewell -, can clear the decks for new action. This *might* work with "favorite flashbacks, or even a porn habit.]
119 Freeman believes that when we commit in love, the brain neuromodulator [120] oxytocin is released, allowing existing neuronal connections to melt away so that changes on a large scale can follow. Oxytocin is sometimes called the commitment neurmodulator because it reinforces bonding in mammals. … Many young people who doubt they will be able to handle the responsibilities of parenting are not aware of the extent to which OT [oxytocin] may change their brains, allowing them to rise to the occasion.
Whereas dopamine induces excitement, puts us into high gear, and triggers sexual arousal, OT induces a calm, warm mood that increases tender feelings and attachment and may lead us to lower our guard.
120, [OT may "wipe" past loves in favor of current one.] Freeman proposes that OT melts down existing neuronal connections that underlie existing attachments, so new attachments can be formed. [OT makes it possible for them to learn new patterns.] … What nature provides, in a neuromodulator like OT, is the ability for two brains in love to go through a period of heightened plasticity, allowing them to mold to each other and shape each other's intentions and perceptions. …As Freeman says, "The deepest meaning of sexual experience lies [121] not in pleasure, or even in reproduction, but in the opportunity it affords to [overcome self-absorption and build mutual trust]."
"OT may 'wipe' past loves in favor of current one."
That is an interesting assertion. It is not my experience. My love of the last 23 years did not 'wipe' my previous girlfriends. I also think it is possible for someone to love more than one person at the same time. After all, many families have more than one child that they love in an oxytocin kind of way.
However, if you mean that finding a new girlfriend can help a man get over an ex-girlfriend, I agree with you entirely.
That article give me hope at
That article gives me hope at least. I feel all of what is said about porn addiction in the article.
I have had the thought of not liking children. I really have not liked being around them. I do not think I would be a good parent.
well as I said before my mother is living with me. She has been keeping a five year old. I have gotten involved with helping with her a good bit.
I was just thinking today she is infectious. the more she is around the more I enjoy her being around. Not that I am thinking like a parent. I laugh a lot more with her around. I guess kids have a bigger impact on you than you might think. That is nice to know also.
I liked this article thanks for bumping it up today.
Glad it hit the spot
It's nice that you're enjoying your playmate.
Pornographers promise
Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is addiction, tolerance, and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornographyy but didn't like it. The usual view is that an addict goes back for more of his fix because he likes the pleasure it gives and doesn't like the pain of withdrawal. But addicts take drugs when there is no prospect of pleasure, when they know they have an insufficient dose to make them high, and will crave more before they begin to withdraw. Wanting and liking are two different things.
This whole article hits the mark for me. Yes I got to that point of no real pleasure from it any more. I would still look for more or keep going. I would go till erection was difficult or would not happen and still keep going. I would hate myself for looking at some types of porn at first. then after awhile It was screw it I need it and helps me feel "good" I have to have it. then burn out and do it again with the next level. Craving more before withdrawal that is what I was getting into with the dream orgasms. I would get that hit then could not hold off again even before the withdrawals. That is what was different about this last time. I held off finally and made it into full withdrawal. I think that is what made a bit of difference this time. Being able to get past that need for a fix without hitting withdrawals.
ric Nestler, at the University of Texas, has shown how addictions cause permanent changes in the brains of animals. A single dose of many addictive drugs will produce a protein, called delta FosB that accumulates in the neurons. Each time the drug is used, more delta FosB accumulates until it throws a genetic switch, affecting which genes are turned on or off. Flipping this switch causes changes that persist long after the drug is stopped, leading to irreversible damage to the brain's dopamine system and rendering the animal far more prone to addiction. Nondrug addictions, such as running and sucrose drinking, also lead to the accumulation of deltaFosB and the same permanent changes in the dopamine system. [Note: Not sure these are permanent. The study we saw said 1-2 months for lingering deltaFosB.]
I hope it is not permanent or if it is it can be wired around enough to make it manageable. I guess I will learn about this part as I go.
I am sleepy and can not sleep right now. lost my thoughts. while reading then trying to write my response.
the article does explain things well. I have been through a lot of what it describes. it fits well.
It's strangely comforting
to see that other careful observers have been noticing the same general pattern as you've experienced, isn't it? It means you're normal.
I think some sensitivity to porn images may be permanent, in the sense that you will always be wise to steer around them...just as a recovered alcoholic knows going into a bar is unwise because it is associated with being out of control.
However, delta FosB does apparently clear out after 1-2 months (or did in the animals tested), so the urge to relapse is much less. This seems to be consistent with the experience of guys here.
Great Article Marnia
Thanks for posting the information above. I probably would not have purchased or otherwise read the above book.
Two issues I see:
1. How to enjoy dopominic activities moderately;
2. How to create OT love for activities that are productive: money-making activities, artistic ones, relationships/family life, etc.
In other words, "how to have your cake and eat it too." Specificially, how to decrease the time of deltaFosB from 1 or 2 months to an hour or so; or how to consistently enjoy the bonding love with the productive activities but still choose be ablve to lose one's mind without losing one's life;
That's the question with sexual transmutation: Does this idea involve dopominic chemistry or OT chemistry.
Any thoughts?
As explained in
Cupid, it looks like bonds require BOTH dopamine (desire to bond) and oxytocin (targeting a particular sweetheart). This may be why a drop in dopamine, or chronically low dopamine (in the case of too much over-stimulation) can interfere with bonding...making a person lose interest in a sex partner.
But none of these neurochemicals are as simple as you suggest...and there are hundreds more, some yet to be discovered no doubt, that are also at work.
That's why, ultimately, we think the key lies in understanding which behaviors get which results. So keep experimenting and observing.
The Beast is silenced...at least for awhile
Thanks so much for turning me on to Doidge's book. I bought it this week and just can't stop reading it. It hold so much promise for those of us hurting from porn/masturbation/orgasm addiction.
I know that I have been an addict of the above mentioned activities since I was 11 years old (I'm 56 now). And, of course, I was an outspoken advocate of those above mentioned activities as well, thinking they were "normal" and "healthy"...not stopping to really see how my relationships were hurting and how I was hurting myself. I graduated from magazines to softcore movies to hardcore movies to s/m themed videos, all the while wanting my wife to share my fantasies and behaviours, not wanting to see how much I hurt and disappointed her....not to mention all the empty hours of my life I wasted surfing porn on the net.
I guess others on this board will recognize this pattern...spending hours surfing porn and masturbating only to realize that they have had enough and resolve to quit cold turkey, to get back to the simple pleasure of loving another (real) person...and that works...for about 3 days when the Beast shows itself again and you are back to the old habits that promise you everything but deliver nothing. I can't tell you how many times I have done this.
After reading the excerpts you posted, and getting the book, I decided that I have finally had enough.
Today makes 5 days since stopping all those behaviors and I'm still feeling strong. Usually I have been able to make it up to about 3 or 4 days before the Beast makes its presence known but, so far, nothing has come up. I am feeling stronger and can feel my senses sharpening and my concentration getting better (not to mention all the free time I now have since I'm not surfing porn any longer). I am seeing the way my wife moves and looks and I'm actually liking that a lot more than the plastic images of the pictures and videos.
I'm not fooling myself. I know that I will have to confront the Beast again sooner or later...and it will probably be an agonizing struggle for awhile but, with your site and book and also from the information in Dr. Doidge's book, I now have hope that new paths can be created in my brain and I can get my life back... better than before. I am looking forward to a stronger, more loving and supportive marriage and a life not focused on getting but on giving.
Anyway...sorry for rambling on. Just want to say that I am grateful for everyone here for posting such great things and sharing their lives!
Thanks for
your heartfelt post. I've enabled you to blog. It's sometimes helpful when the Beast brays. You're lucky to have a mate. You've checked out the bonding behaviors, I hope: http://www.reuniting.info/lazy_way_to_stay_in_love They can help ease restlessness, too. But they need to be daily and selfless (rather than heat 'em up foreplay)
I'm glad your perception is already shifting. Hope the reboot goes smoothly. It IS really exciting to realize how much potential we have for changing unwanted patterns, isn't it? We found Doidge's book excerpts just as we were finishing ours. It was really comforting to see that we had come out in much the same place. If you need another "dose" at some point, you may want to check out our chapter on porn recovery. It sums up a lot of what we learned from the courageous men in the forum. http://www.reuniting.info/cupids_poisoned_arrow
I took the liberty of removing your name. Just call me a mother hen.
Good luck. Let us know what you learn as you go along.
Wish your beast will never come again
Dear Wind River,
Same story here with slight variation... Variation in the sense I was living alone most of time and when with wife, those things do not come in my mind and life become easier except her nags.... We can communicate, be friend and solve our problems for forever....
So far I have stopped 120
So far I have stopped 120 cigarettes per day, 1 quart of bourbon per day, 3 pots of black coffee per day, 4 liters of diet coke per day, all grains and sugars. Now I must tackle this. I think this may be the most difficult. I have had this addiction for I believe 48 years. I am going to start at dawn tomorrow. Wish me luck if there are others reading this. I have succeeded with my other addictions but I really fear this one.
Good for you!
That's impressive. And yes, this could be The Big One. If we're right that there's a subtle neurochemical cycle after orgasm, then too much and too intense orgasmic activity could be driving the dopamine dysregulation that made all those others goodies (not to mention orgasm itself!) so enticing.
You sound like a very determined man. I'll enable you to blog in case you want to start your own thread and keep us posted on your progress.
Go for it
I gave up porn almost three months ago, after masturbating to porn for over 50 years. Cold turkey. It was easy at first, but seems to be getting more difficult to stay away. The success I have had I attribute to this site and related book and the support from Marnia and a stable of great bloggers. I have had 3-4 mild relapses that did not last long and did not lead to masturbation. I try to avoid porn like I do other addictions I have struggled with: smoking, gambling, sugar. Good luck! Lots of sympathetic bloggers on this site -- keep us posted.
that's quite an achievement with the other substances. actually - it's fantastic. i sincerely hope you achieve this one. actually i know you will. if you've made it to this site it means something. it's strange supporting someone when i haven't' yet made it to 90 days but i'm not giving up either. i keep coming back for more help here and through close friends so i hope you'll get the same support you need to see it through.
caution: anti-porn post :)
That was a great article post - thanks Marnia.
Given what I've learnt about pornography, I can't think of any other influence in the world that is so distorting to humanity.
Other drugs and behaviours may harm the body but when something like this begins to distort what drives us and motivates us in life (love), it is pretty heartbreaking to see the effects of porn - not discounting the efforts and successes many have made by overcoming porn addiction.
While I am disappointed in myself for falling victim to it, I actively avoid it and I am hopeful but it has certainly raised my opposition.
It should really be made illegal.
I can't rationalise why there should be an opportunity for people to have access to something so damaging. It doesn't sound like it should be an option or choice. Based on Norman's comments regarding soft-core imagery entering mainstream media, censorship is sounding like a sensible course - even in the mildest form. Why publicise the body for public consumption and feed a natural desire that can so easily spin out of control like sexuality? It divides an individual's devotion to their mate - whether in thought or in deed.
Giving people a choice isn't necessarily giving us freedom - not if you wind up a slave to something mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually and physically destructive.
Well, there's my anti-porn rant but articles like this evidence how bad it is.
Thanks for your comments
I agree that it's dangerous when there is unlimited access to extreme versions of natural rewards (that is, those we evolved to pursue). However, I don't know if it's possible to limit access today. Young guys are the best computer wizards on the planet, and the more "forbidden" something is, the more exciting it is to hunt down.
Personally, I think the best option is to educate humanity about its reward circuitry, its "agenda," its vulnerabilities, the signs, symptoms and behaviors that indicate things are going out of balance, and what helps with returning to balance. I don't really see a better way. Still, that's not an easy option, for lots of reasons: How Can We Bring the Problem of Porn Addiction into the Mainstream?


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2013 Mercedes-Benz GL63 AMG Debuts With 550-HP Twin-Turbo V-8
Each time Mercedes-Benz introduces a new model, it doesn't take too long before AMG cranks out a harder, faster, and more aggressively styled version. Given that the refreshed 2013 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class debuted just under two months ago at the New York auto show, it's no surprise that the top-spec GL63 AMG model is now making its own debut -- though it is a bit surprising to see Mercedes add an AMG variant to the GL-Class range for the very first time.
The heart of the new SUV is the same M157 engine that's under the hood of most new AMG cars; it's a twin-turbo, direct-injection 5.5-liter V-8 that, in the GL63, produces 550 hp and 560 lb-ft of torque. Mercedes says the luxury SUV can rush to 60 mph in just 4.9 seconds, and is electronically limited to 155 mph.
This is the first time that the AMG team in Affalterbach, Germany, has altered a GL-Class model. Previously the fastest version was the GL550, which for the 2013 model year extracts 429 hp from a twin-turbo 4.7-liter V-8 and manages the 0-to-60-mph sprint in a claimed 5.5 seconds.
The GL63 AMG has standard 4Matic all-wheel drive, and power is routed through a seven-speed automatic transmission that has three modes. In "C", for Controlled Efficiency, the transmission starts out in second gear and has an engine stop-start feature. In "S", for Sport, and "M", for manual, the transmission is tuned for quicker shifts.
So that the Mercedes SUV remains as competent in turns as in a straight line, the GL63 benefits from AMG-specific suspension parts, including air suspension with adaptive damping that automatically lowers the ride height at high speeds. The GL63 also benefits from AMG-tuned electric power steering and upgraded cross-drilled brake discs, measuring 15.4 inches in front and 13.6 inches in back, with red-painted calipers.
The GL63 AMG benefits from the same facelift applied to the rest of the GL-Class range for the 2013 model year, which includes tweaks like a curvier front fascia and more attractive interior. The AMG version stands out from the other versions thanks to unique 21-inch AMG wheels, flared rear fenders, a unique front fascia with large air intakes, and bold AMG exhaust tips.The cabin benefits from AMG sport seats, a flat-bottomed steering wheel, stainless-steel pedals, and stainless-steel AMG doorsill plates. Overall, though, the GL63 doesn't look drastically different from other models. Compared to other AMG vehicles, the GL63 has a relatively subdued design - in fact, unless one spots the AMG badging or the exhaust tips, it could be considered something of a seven-passenger sleeper.
The Mercedes-Benz GL63 AMG will arrive in U.S. dealerships in the first quarter of 2013. The remainder of the model range, comprising the GL350 BlueTec, GL450, and GL550, hit showrooms this September. Pricing for all 2013 GL models has yet to be priced, but given the previous GL550 cost close to $85,300, and that the 2012 ML63 AMG fetches $94,900, don't be surprised if the GL63's base price tiptoes into six-figure territory.
Source: Mercedes-Benz


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Al-Qaeda affiliate claims responsibility for attacks across Syria
Emergence of the anti-Assad al-Nusra Front is complicating matters for the fractured Syrian opposition
BEIRUT (AP) — An al-Qaeda-inspired group claimed responsibility for dozens of attacks across Syria, the latest evidence that extremists are exploiting the chaos to make inroads in another Middle Eastern country.
The Syrian regime has long blamed terrorists for the 16-month-old revolt, and the presence of al-Qaeda groups creates new difficulties for Arab and Western countries trying to help force President Bashar Assad from power.
The opposition and the rebel Free Syrian Army deny having any links to terrorism, and say they do not have the desire or the capabilities to carry out massive suicide bombings and other al-Qaeda-style attacks.
On Tuesday, the SITE monitoring group, which tracks jihadist chatter on the Internet, said the al-Nusra Front released statements on extremist websites in late June claiming the attacks were to avenge the killings of Syrians by the government.
One of the attacks targeted a pro-regime television station in the town of Drousha, south of the capital, Damascus, on June 27. Seven people were killed in the attack on al-Ikhbariya TV.
Al-Nusra said the station is an arm of the regime and the attack sought to make the station "taste from the cup of torture" and force every member of the regime to wonder: "When will my turn come?" The statement included photos of 11 men it said were kidnapped in the attack.
Al-Ikhbariya is privately owned but often acts as a regime mouthpiece.
Other attacks in the latest claim of responsibility include dozens of armed raids and bombings — including suicide bombings — in Syrian cities.
Little is known about al-Nusra, although Western intelligence officials say it could be a front for a branch of al-Qaeda militants from Iraq operating in Syria. The group has claimed responsibility for a string of attacks in Syria, including suicide bombings, in the past.
In February, al-Qaeda chief Ayman al-Zawahri called on Muslims to support Syrian rebels.
"Wounded Syria is still bleeding day after day, and the butcher (Bashar Assad) isn't deterred and doesn't stop," al-Zawahri said at the time. He took over al-Qaeda after Osama bin Laden was killed by US special forces last May.
Although the Syrian opposition disavows links to terror, the presence of al-Qaeda among the forces fighting to oust Assad is a serious complicating factor for the international powers that say they want to help the opposition without empowering extremists along the way.
The Syrian regime is dominated by members of the Alawite sect, which is an offshoot of Shiite Islam. But Sunnis make up most of the population of 22 million and are the backbone of the opposition.
More than 14,000 people have been killed since the Syrian uprising began, according to activists. Despite global outrage over the crackdown by the Assad regime, the international response has been focused entirely on diplomacy and sanctions as the violence escalates.
Military intervention has been all but ruled out in Syria for now, in part because the conflict has so much potential for escalation. Damascus has strong allegiances to powerful forces including Lebanon's Hezbollah and Shiite powerhouse Iran.
There already are signs of a looming, regional conflict.
Syrian forces shot down a Turkish military plan on June 22. Syria says the plane violated its airspace, but Turkey said the plane was hit over international waters.
On Wednesday, Turkey's state-run TRT television said a US deep-sea exploration vessel, E/V Nautilus, discovered the bodies of the two pilots.
The violence in Syria has grown increasingly chaotic over the course of the uprising, which began in March 2011 with mostly peaceful protests. Government forces launched a ferocious crackdown on the demonstrations, leading many people to take up arms.
The violence has become widespread and chaotic. Besides the government crackdown, rebel fighters are launching increasingly deadly attacks on regime targets, and several massive suicide attacks this year suggest al-Qaeda or other extremists are joining the fray.
Syria severely restricts the media in the country, making it difficult to gain a credible account of events on the ground.
There is virtually no way to perform an independent investigation in Syria, one of the most authoritarian states in the Middle East. Assad has largely sealed off the country and prevented reporters from moving freely. A team of around 300 UN monitors was sent to Syria to provide an unbiased look at the violence, but they have been confined to their hotels since June 15 because of the worsening violence.
On Wednesday, the head of the UN observer mission called on all sides to stop fighting — even as activists reported government shelling in five provinces across Syria.
"There is this feeling that there is too much talk in nice hotels, in nice meetings, and too little action to move forward and stop the violence," Norwegian Maj. Gen. Robert Mood told reporters in Damascus.
In Geneva on Saturday, an international conference of world powers accepted a UN-brokered peace plan for Syria. But the group left open the key question of whether Assad could be part of a transitional government.
The US backed away from insisting that the plan explicitly exclude Assad from any role in a new Syrian government, hoping the concession would encourage Russia to put greater pressure on its longtime ally to end the violent crackdown.
But the possibility that Assad could stay made the plan a nonstarter for those fighting to topple his regime.
The opposition, too, is in disarray. A key meeting of different opposition groups in Cairo concluded Tuesday with only general agreements on a transitional period and the character of the post-Assad state.
They failed to create a unified leadership and papered over many other key differences.
Copyright 2012 The Associated Press


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Marvel Universe
About Marvel Universe
The Marvel Universe is the shared fictional universe where the Marvel Super Heroes Role-playing Game uses stories from most comic book titles and other media published by Marvel Entertainment. Many of the campaigns take place or include those featured in Marvel's most familiar characters, such as Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Hulk, just to name a few.
The Marvel Universe is further depicted as existing within a "multiverse" consisting of thousands of separate universes, all of which are the creations of Marvel Comics and all of which are, in a sense, "Marvel universes". In this context, "Marvel Universe" is taken to refer to the altered Marvel continuity, which is known as Earth-974; Marvel Omega.
Marvel Universe Campaigns
The following are four Marvel Super Heroes campaigns created for the Marvel Universe;
Using many of the heroes & villains from the Marvel Universe, many of the origins are similar but twisted to create a whole new universe known as Earth-11974; Marvel Omega.
Marvel Universe Character Creation
After deciding upon a mutual campaign for the group, use the Marvel Super Heroes Character Creation RPG System to create a character. Each character will need a name (first & last), pic of him/herself, and historical detail (family life, friends). The more descriptive and detailed you are with your history, the more fun you will have in the game. Work with the Game Master/Storyteller to develop a suitable background for the campaign world.
Marvel Universe Gaming Guidelines
The following are guidelines for gaming. Many are simple terms of respect for both the Game Master & the Players while playing the Marvel Super Heroes game. Respect is all that is asked.
Player's Rights and Obligations to the Group


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We at Vital Magnetics strive to create magnetic therapy jewelry that combines the best of both worlds namely: beautifully designed jewelry with best wellness magnets. Our Magnetic Therapy Bracelets have been masterfully crafted to enhance your blood circulation, escalate positive energy and have been reported to provide relief from muscle and joints pain. Reap the benefits of earthly elements working in cohesion with Mother Nature to bring wellness in your Life!
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text: I was referring to the team leaders from the run of 9 straight 10+ win years, Manning, Wayne, Clark, etc. Freeney and Mathis are still around, but sounds like Freeney is on the way out too.There is no one (not named Irsay) left from that incredible run. Front office, coaches, team leaders - all gone.


text: Recently I stumbled upon tile tattoos from 2jane.com. These sticker-like tattoos looked easy to peel and stick to the wall and so adorable online. I decided to try them out to see if they were as easy to use and cute as they seemed. Not only were they super easy to peel off and apply but they look great, not at all cheap and tacky. They come in 3 different sizes (4- and 6- inch squares and 6" by 3" rectangles) and in 9 different styles in a variety of colors. For just $16 to $18 dollars you can buy enough to give your bathroom a facelift. There's nothing I love better than a cute, quick, and cheap makeover and 2Jane tile tattoos definitely fit the bill! Looking for more cheap decorating ideas? Check out how to Decorate On A Budget


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EPA and Savannah State University Sign a Memorandum of Understanding
Release Date: 08/20/2014
Contact Information: Danielle Jackson, (404) 562-9182 (Direct), (404) 562-8400 (Main), email@example.com
ATLANTA - Today, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and Savannah State University (SSU) will enter into a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) to enhance interdisciplinary research, incorporate appropriate environmental content in all academic curricula, and focus on public outreach to raise public awareness. As a part of the MOU, EPA will commit to enhance the university's environmental policy, laws and management in order to protect and promote environmental resources
Through this MOU, EPA Region 4 is in support of SSU's efforts to train and provide research experiences for undergraduate and graduate students in the areas of environmental and mathematical sciences which are pertinent to the mission of the EPA. EPA supports the University's efforts to become the flagship model of an academic institution that is environmentally sustainable in its campus infrastructure, its environmental policy, its engineering science and public health curriculum, and its community outreach.
Connect with EPA Region 4 on Facebook: www.facebook.com/eparegion4
And on Twitter: @EPASoutheast
Search this collection of releases | or search all news releases
View selected historical press releases from 1970 to 1998 in the EPA History website.


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- Smart Home Products and Services
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- Residential Security
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- Smart Energy Management
- Entertainment Content
- Wellness and Independent Living
- Support Services
Consumer Research
Related Market Focus
Popular Searches
Consumer Analytics Online Search
Adoption of Digital Health Devices (2013 - 2014)
360 View Update – Market Focus
2015 : Digitally Fit: Products and Services for Connected Consumers
Digitally Fit: Products and Services for Connected Consumers analyzes the adoption and use of Internet-enabled healthcare and fitness devices. It highlights adoption trends for these devices and gauges current use of health apps in conjunction with these devices. It also explores privacy concerns as a potential inhibitor to smart health device adoption and the extent to which privacy guarantees can alleviate such concerns. Finally, it assesses consumer willingness to share data generated by smart health devices and the potential for various incentives to boost consumer willingness to share data.
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Why Black & White? Commentary by Robert Bruce Duncan
We are fortunate to bring back Robert Bruce Duncan in his commentary about black and white photography -- originally printed by permission in 2004. We're bringing it back today because the new generation of photographers need Robert's pep talk about the subtle beauty of black and white photography. May 16, 2014


text: Merging streamlined tailoring with clean-lined silhouettes, this season's collection of women's coats include classic, elongated forms and avant-garde proportions that effortlessly complete any ensemble. Menswear-inspired styles are updated with feminine tailoring like hourglass contours, curved seams, and strong shoulders lending to a modern point-of-view on powerhouse outerwear. Humorous volumes challenge traditional suiting further, with atypical detailing and waist-defining silhouettes that transform iconic peacoats or double-breasted styles into playfully refined options for layering. Wraparound or offset buttoned and zip closures prove to be a popular theme among designers and as advancements in technology continue to produce the highest-quality, eco-conscious alternatives so is the favoring of luxe faux-fur construction. While saturated coloring reigns, dark crushed velvet or satin styles appear as well - providing a suitable base for gothic-influences. Avant-garde ideas are showcased through modified stand collars, ruffled or scalloped trim, and panelled cape-style coats. Playful bathrobe-inspired styles in satin, silk, or wool fleece iterations come with warm quilted lining and self-tie fastenings ensuring a comfort level that suits any woman's wardrobe.


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EuroShop again has been a brilliant event. You will be impressed by the variety of innovations and inspirations for the retail industry that was shown in the busy halls during the past five days. Be inspired!
EuroShop Düsseldorf goes globally. The cooperation with C-star and In-store Asia is the ideal way to keep pace with global trends, innovations and developments and it offers the opportunity for international companies to tap into India's and China's national retail scene, partnerships, new technologies and reaching new markets.


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Listening In: Third Day's Mark Lee & Brad Stine
- 2005 4 Apr
Guitarist Mark Lee (and the rest of his Third Day bandmates) and Brad Stine met for the first time at a barbeque joint in Kansas City when Brad was breaking into the Christian community as a comedian who'd previously worked only in the mainstream. And though he may be a renowned comedian and the author of "Being a Christian Without Being an Idiot" who's also been a guest on major market radio shows, The New Yorker, Promise Keeper events and more.
Brad's not all about the laughs when it comes to discussing what goes on in the Christian world. A rock guitarist and a comedian are certainly in two different worlds, but we're sure you'll be pleasantly surprised at how much these two have in common as we listen in on their recent phone conversation.
Brad: I came out of the comedy world, but I was always a Christian. But I didn't commit myself to that world. We often "dumb down" our opportunity for what entertainment can be when it has "Christian" attached to it. That was my purpose in making myself available to that world. But I was concerned because I'm not doing it the way they're used to seeing it done.
Mark: For a lot of people, when they go from being a musician to being a Christian musician — or go from being a comedian to a Christian comedian — there's a stigma there that they have to change what they do because the audience is different.
Brad: What I discovered is there's a difference between adapting and compromising. I, as an artist, made a living as a headliner in comedy clubs throughout this country. I had to compete against comics who were using the "f" word every other second, and then here I'd come on. As you know, the people who precede you set the tone of the room. And suddenly, it was 100 percent curse free with no sexual references. The interesting thing about it is that so many people would talk about how hard it must be to be so clean. That always fascinated me because, to me, the fun and joy of art is in the creativity, and I didn't see creativity in crudeness. It shows what your worldview is. What makes you valuable and purposeful shades the way you communicate with people. Why wouldn't it be more fun, as a comic, to not use the words that are going to get a laugh — that aren't in and of themselves creative? The template I always give is: If you tell a joke with curse words in it, and you take the curse words out and the joke isn't funny anymore, the joke wasn't funny in the first place.
Mark: There are probably people in churches who are in conference meetings, wanting to do exactly what you're talking about doing. [They're saying,] "We've gotta figure out a way to get out and be in the world." And it sounds like you've been doing that for years. We've found that as musicians and songwriters. God has chosen us as a way to reach other people. Whether it be writing songs or performing or getting up onstage and doing your show, God is using that to reach people. I think a lot of times we try to add on other things. We'll say, "We're doing Christian music, so we've got to try and say this, this and this …" If you just be yourself, the audience needs that connection.
Brad: The buzz word at the moment is authenticity. It's the idea that when Christians become real, they become relevant. People need to see that my soul is saved, but my flesh will continue to be corrupt until I don't exist anymore. By taking the approach — and I do it through comedy and you do it musically — of saying, "I am flawed. I do struggle with the same things you do," is much more relatable and much more of a synergistic attachment to that other person. Then, the sense of "I'm saved, and everything's perfect" is not the case — and we all know it's not the case. But we've created a tradition of being afraid to expose ourselves on the journey.
Mark: If you're on the outside looking in, people will say, "Christian music is good." Or they'll say, "I've got a cousin who likes Christian music," like it's something that's not for everyone. But I think what you're saying is maybe not the reason but a reason why that happens — because we're creating something everyone can't relate to. And then you're creating this parallel universe, and you have "Christian" art as opposed to regular art.
Brad: My take on that is that we've created a monster. We defined it that way. Look, I'm in the entertainment industry, and I still have interests in the mainstream. They see me as a Christian comedian. They're going to put you in a box in a way they can understand or marginalize you. As the anti-Christian bigotry in this country drives so much of the liberal ideology, the more they can marginalize and compartmentalize us where it's like, "Oh, that's nice for you but has no relevance for the rest of us" is really just a way of censoring an idea.
In Europe, for example, I don't think they have Christian radio stations. They have radio stations that play music, and there are Christians who get on them simply because they offered up a song the station found appealing. No one sits there and says, "This is inappropriate." It's simply judged based on the context of it as opposed to the content. But we get to America, and we feel we have to get into a genre to sell it. But I've never met an artist who hasn't had the desire to have much more visibility in the mainstream. But they're often stuck. I wonder if you find yourself in the same position of feeling you have a creative element to share but don't have a place at the table.
Mark: As an artist, you want what you create to be heard by as many people as possible. It can be frustrating at times when we've made a record, and we're thinking about, yes, reaching our Christian audience, but spilling over into other areas. But the powers that be will say, "No that doesn't make sense because you're Christians, and you have your Christian audience."
Brad: You find you're still unable to leverage your strength as artists in our business to say, "Look, we want to go over here, so make it happen."
Mark: I think the best songs have a chance of being played on the radio. But it's set up so that it has to be a hit in Christian radio first. So automatically it has to be a certain type of song to be played on Christian radio; but to be carried over to be a single on a mainstream station, it's already gone through this Christian filter. That's a challenge.
I always go back to Johnny Cash. He went to Billy Graham and said, "I think I need to change and start writing Christian songs." But Graham said, "No, you're able to reach certain people I'm never going to be able to reach." I think so many people get confused when they start talking about Christian music versus mainstream music.
Brad: If you could chose one song that would fit in mainstream radio, what would that be?
Mark: We had a song called "I Will Always Love You," and I think that message is something anyone could hear. It's universal, something anyone could relate to. I keep thinking, "What message would I want everyone to hear?"
Brad: That's great because, as Christians, our ultimate purpose is to leave a legacy of our art because God gave it to us. And He expected us to deliver it. But something that bothered me is that a guy would do something cool, and everyone would clap. But the guy would stop everyone and say, "No, no; it's for the Lord." Of course it is. But it feels false to me because, as artists, we're not allowed to acknowledge our fans and appreciate what we've done. Don't you think, as Christians, we should assume they understand that we are giving this gift to them via God's placement within us?
Christians are constantly "tap dancing" through every answer because somehow every answer we give is going to be construed as "I'm not being modest" or being more concerned with whether it's a No. 1 hit. I don't know that it's necessarily the best way for art to evolve and develop into a more interesting — and even dangerous — place that forces the listener to deal with this moment. How many unresolved psalms were in the Psalms? Why not leave it with: I believe You, God, but I have no idea where You are right now? I believe in You, but right now, I'm in the valley of the shadow of death; and I'm going to leave you, the listener, for a while so you can think about how this applies to your life. Do you find yourself constantly concerned about how you're going to be perceived?
Mark: Oh, constantly. We're a rock band, so we like to, well, rock. As you're doing that, there's this perception that, "If I'm doing this rock thing, isn't that kind of self-absorbed? They're not really worshiping." I think people are more concerned with our thought process than giving us the benefit of the doubt that because we're a Christian band, we're seeking God every day. If people could trust each other that, "Well, maybe they're not doing this the way I would've done it," there would be a lot greater freedom.
Brad: One thing I always say in my show is that the message of Jesus never changes, but the messenger does. What I've oftentimes seen is that Christians have a habit of judging content over context. They're more concerned about what you say than what you mean. The value of communicating through words is what you mean! I wish there was more grace given, which is supposed to be our mantra as Christians because we're all sinners, we're all flawed, none of us deserve it, and we're saved in spite of ourselves.
© 2005 CCM Magazine. All rights reserved. Used with permission. Click here to subscribe.


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The Umbrellas of Cherbourg
Academy Award® Nominee
A young woman working in an umbrella shop becomes pregnant with the child of a mechanic she fell for. When he joins the military and goes off to war, she marries a wealthier young man to provide security for herself and her child.
Starring Catherine Deneuve, Nino Castelnueva, Anne Vernon, Marc Michel, Ellen Farner
Directed by Jacques Demy
Running Time - 1:31
Genre - Art/Foreign
Opened in Theaters - February 1st, 1964 (56 years ago)
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Home VideoThis movie is likely available now on home video.
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Converse Tennis
Canadian badminton athlete John Edward "Jack" Purcell designed a canvas and rubber sneaker for the B.F. Goodrich Company of Canada in 1935. He designed the shoe to provide more protection and support on courts. In the 1970s, Converse purchased the trademark rights to Purcell's sneakers - which it still produces and sells today. The shoe, which is similar in appearance to Converse's Chuck Taylor All-Stars, can be distinguished by the signature "smile" across the toe.