text: Proposing Part 1: Why you should propose to your boyfriend #Relationship Advice#feminism#proposing Updated Jan 12 2017 (Posted Jan 5 2009) Ariel arielmstallings Will You Marry Me Vintage Silverware Hand Stamped Sugar Spoon by AnvilDesigns One of the things I learned from my reader survey was how many of you identified yourselves as "ladies in waiting," i.e. women biding their time until their boyfriends propose. Well, girls: STOP WAITING! If you're into questioning traditions, start by questioning the very first assumption about weddings: that a woman's role is waiting for a man to pick her. I know: it's scary right? You're thinking, "What if he says no?" Well, no one said taking your life by the reins would be easy, and the anxieties and fears of rejection that come up around proposing give you great insight into some of the cultural pressures men traditionally experience. Proposing is definitely scary, and I'm speaking from personal experience here. As those of you who've read my book know, I actually proposed to Andreas … On our third anniversary, we went to this pottery painting place. As I'd planned, I painted a big plate with a picture of us holding hands. (Yes, we were naked in the painting. I like painting butts!) Above the little people, I painted the words "Psst: will you marry me?" Then I put my grandmother's diamond wedding ring onto the plate and slid it across the table to Andreas. He looked at the plate. He looked up at me. I looked at him. Nothing happened. "…Well, will you?" I said. "Of course!" he said, and I exhaled in relief. "…But you don't mean, like, IMMEDIATELY, right?" he said. "I mean, of course we're spending the rest of our lives together. But there's no rush, right?" "Er, I guess not…" I said. "Awesome!" he said. "I love you!" And then he went back to painting. I sat and freaked out a bit, but nothing had really changed: we were still just as committed and someday we would get married. Just not quite yet, evidently. "No rush," in our case, meant getting married three years later. Grab the traditional institution of marriage by the balls and tell it that you're doing this on your terms and in your own way. This is all to say that I know that it's scary and intimidating and hard. (It should be noted that Andreas has expressed feeling sort of bad for how he handled the proposal. I mean, it all worked out ok, but it wasn't the stuff of swelling violins and magical twinkly lights.) Of course not all men want to be proposed to, and you know your boyfriend best … I'm thinking that chances are good that if he loves you for being a sassy independently-minded offbeat girlfriend, he's the kind of guy who would appreciate tipping an old tradition on its ear. When you propose to your boyfriend, you're taking a huge first step toward grabbing the traditional institution of marriage by the balls and telling it that you're doing this on your terms and in your own way. It's an exercise in taking ownership of your life and your journey through it. It's your way of saying, "I'm not going to drop hints to get what I want — I'm going to apply that energy to building the courage to do it myself." This isn't just about proposals. It's about knowing what you want and feeling strong enough in yourself to just go get it. Related Post Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend Last week's Why you should propose to your boyfriend post was a big hit, so I'm continuing on with Part 2: HOW to propose to... Read more This isn't to say that it's not a wonderful thing when men propose. Ideally, any proposal is the result of many conversations about what marriage means to both you, why you're committed to each other, etc. It should never really be "popping the question." But if you've had conversations about commitment and you're ready to get married — STOP WAITING! Read part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend Ariel Author of three editions of the Offbeat Bride book and the forthcoming From Shitshow To Afterglow, Ariel Meadow Stallings acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing books, chances are good that she's dancing or happy-crying. She writes weekly essays for her new publication, The Afterglow. PREVIOUS Naomi & Casey's punk rock Iowa wedding NEXT Patricia & Christiaan's Intimate Outdoor Family Fun-Day Wedding Show/Hide comments [ 170 ] The feather was taped to the headboard of our bed and stayed there for three years, a continuous promise that we would get married someday. We giggled and proposed to each other about once a month, to be silly, to renew the idea, and to make sure we were still good to go on that. We just didn't have the money for an actual wedding, not even a small one, so we waited… and waited… and then in 2007 we had children: two adorable siamese cats. After about a year, when they got old enough to get into some major mischief… the poor thing didn't stand a chance. It was a horrid death of blue scattered about the bedroom. o_o We eventually decided to f*ck the idea of a wedding and got married at our courthouse for official, medical, and sanity reasons. The civil marriage, now coined the Get-It-Over-With-Already! Day, was cold and perfunctory and the only thing that made it nice and took my mind away from the speed-reading officiant was the real monarch butterfly standing on my shoulder (superglued to a piece of card and pinned on). I had found it dead as of recent in the parking lot a couple days beforehand, and we had actually planned for butterflies to be the theme of our little mini marriage, on the bouquet and my dress was dark orange, dark brown, tan, cream… etc. Monarchs have a very special place in my heart from the main character in a book I am writing, whom I name Anne Monarch. She also loves monarchs and ended up with the last name Monarch and also became a monarch (royalty). And this… *choke*… and this is where I start crying. I think my grandfather sent the butterfly to me. He passed away earlier this year of Alzheimers… he must have wanted me to care for her body and honor it in the best way possible. I am honored in return, grandpa. She completely made my day. My husband and I had considered changing both of our last names to represent us as a new family, and I think Monarch would be nice. Maybe I, like my character who often represents me, always was a Monarch? No offense to my parents, but I think we each grow into our own special names and states of mind when we become a new family. (Continued) Reply My parents came down about a week later to look at a house with us and afterward we sat and brainstormed a bit. They didn't want us to have the courthouse be our only memory of a marriage, so they offered to pay for a small ceremony and a simple ice cream reception if we could help out some. We were overjoyed with the idea. I didn't think we could have an October wedding this year, I really wanted one, but I was ready to wait a year. Mom said we could do it. It'd be hectic and crazy, but she insisted we could do it, so I said okaaaay… Then friends and family started offering their talents left and right over the past two months. One of mom's friends offered a big discount on a hand made wedding cake to my specifications. (I can't wait to see it! I asked for tiers that look like they are covered with fabric sheets, each one a different color, and then monarchs all over it.) My aunt threw me a bridal shower a couple weeks ago. My cousin offered to play piano during our unity ceremony. My absolute best friend on the internet for the last decade (whom I've met in real life a couple times at conventions) is coming up by bus. Just a ton of stuff has fallen into our laps like a sudden burst of candy from a pinata! Grandpa sure did like his candy. I think I'll get another feather to display along with grandpa's butterfly at the wedding that we are finally having this Saturday!! Reply I accidentally proposed to my boyfriend last Friday while we were at a party together. We'd sneaked away from the rest of the crowd and lain down on the hosts' bed for a few minutes of quiet time together. I'd been thinking about marrying him a lot over the past month. Every time l looked at him, all I could think was "I want to be your wife." I really had meant it as more of a reassurance that it would be OK to ask me, that I wanted him to ask me sometime, that if he did ask me, he'd get a good answer. So I just let the words slip out. "I want to be your wife." He looked shocked, but took a deep breath and laughed and said he loved me. With the next breath he asked me to marry him. I assured him that of course I would, but I was shocked too. I hadn't meant to propose, just to clear the way! Man… years ago I'd asked both of my dates to prom, I'd asked this one if he wanted to date me–and now this! "Can't I just be patient?! Shit! I ruined it; Me and my big mouth!" I was berating myself inside, rather than fully enjoying the momentousness of the occasion. When he giggled, though, it set me more at ease. He told me that he'd been planning on speaking with my father about it next week when we go visit my family for a cousin's wedding. He'd planned to ask me after getting my father's blessing, on the anniversary of the day I asked him out–he's offbeat, but as sweet a Southern Gentleman as you could ask for too. We talked about it, and he'll be speaking with both of my parents this week and making a formal proposal at a time of his choosing (with a ring that we both like), likely next month. I told him I'd been looking at rings. He told me he'd been looking at rings, we decided to swap websites, and it turned out to be EXACTLY the same site (google mokume gane rings). So I could have let things unfold, and they would have been perfect…. but they're going to unfold a little differently and still be perfect. Reply My boyfriend and I have been with one another for three years. We have always had an unconventional relationship where our gender roles are pleasantly reversed. We have recently been having more and more discussions about our future together and the potential for marriage. All of these variables made it clear to me how strongly I wanted to propose marriage to him. The seed was planted… so the tremendious romantic planning began. So last night we were driving to the groccery store and he found the ring hidden in my purse while looking for something! OH MY! D'oh! Seeing him and the ring together filled me up with so much excitement and love. It gave me shivers! My romantic plans temporarily flew out the window as I recited my romantic speech and proposed to him while driving to Fresh and Easy! But it felt right and he said yes. Isn't life funny? Reply In our case it made sense for me to propose, because my guy was always much more comfortable with the idea of marriage than I was, so he could never be sure if I'd say yes. He repeatedly told me as much. After waffling on the issue for about a year and practically deciding we WOULDN'T get married on principle, we bought a house together. At this point marriage was superfluous–it was quite clear neither of us was planning to go anywhere. With the pressure off, we could address the issue as a practical matter instead of an emotional one. When we began "joking" about engagement rings and weddings, I suspected we were both ready. When I stumbled upon the perfect location for a proposal, I knew the time had come for me to take the pressure off him and propose. Even though I planned the whole thing in one week, and it didn't go off exactly as planned, it turned out very nicely and I totally surprised him! His engagement "ring" is actually a dagger, since he's into swords, but it came with a matching ring if he ever feels like wearing it. Reply I also left the door open for him to buy me a ring if he likes, but I'm not putting pressure on him about it. This way he still has the opportunity to surprise me with a proposal if he feels like it. Reply ok i understand and i want to prpose to my boyfriend to buy my question is do i buy my ring and his or just his someone help me please Reply Definitely just his ring–or a sword or a pocketwatch or a guitar–whatever his heart desires that only you would know! Reply i proposed, kind of. conversation went from agreeing that we both want kids, and i'd kind of like to raise kids _with him_ to, let's make some kind of committment to each other re raising the kids, to let's have a big party celebrating it, and… a week or so later the word "wedding" was finally mentioned… two months later we bought each other rings… Reply I proposed, too, and as someone else said before, I was so impatient that I just kind of did it on a random day instead of making any real solid plan. Reply I proposed to Mark. Three months into our relationship, we were watching home movies and Mark looked at me and said, "I want to marry you someday. Do you want to be my wife?" I agreed but nothing came of it. A year and three months later, I stayed up all night and decorated our home with crayon pictures that I had spent months drawing. One said everything I loved about him and then asked "Mark, will you marry me?" He ran into the bedroom the next morning where I was still sleeping and woke me up and said "yes" about a million times. Two weeks later, he took me to the park where we ride our bikes and dropped down to one knee in front of this beautiful lake and presented me with the ring. It was kind of a fun way – we kept asking each other. I knew from the instant we met that he'd be my hubby. Reply although we haven't actually proposed to each other as yet, i've got a plan! My man really loves comic books and has just created the first issue if his own (aptly named Romance is Dead' ) so a couple of years ago I thought about creating a little comic of my own and have the last page a drawing of us with me popping the question – being a procrastinator (not because I didn't want to finish it but lots of other crafty thing got in the way!) this is still not finished! Although I'm not sure if I need to as he's hinted that he has also a plan… But we could take inspiration from some of these other comments and both of us could propose… Reply My boyfriend is proposing to me. I am waiting, but in our relationship it makes sense. He has some trauma in his past that has made it hard for him to adjust to finally having an amazing girlfriend who adores him and would never attack him with scissors (true story, and the least of the things he's been attacked with by former girlfriends!). I have patiently given him time to accept our relationship, and it has been worth it every step of the way. We have had numerous conversations about getting married, and he started hinting last summer about proposing at some point in the future, when he was ready. I informed him then that when he asks, I will say, "Yes." His hinting has become less subtle, right down to his slipping and telling me most of his plan, mostly because he is so used to talking to me about things that in his excitement he forgot to keep it secret! He has since explained to me that proposing and choosing the ring is really important to him because it is his way of saying he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, have children with me, and telling me how important I am to him. There is no way I could step on his toes and propose! And as we met online and I initiated contact, kissed him first, said, "I love you first" (just like another poster!) it's his turn. I am quite certain that his plan has been given up in favour of proposing sooner. Neither of us is good at waiting! My side will be to find an earring for him that we both consider the "right" earring, although that will probably take longer than his proposal. But after reading the comments I may just propose back when we find that earring. Reply great plate kinda reminds me of my experience with my fiancee in Chicago and i live in Oregon. we had been talking of marriage for awhile and i explained to him i do too. we are very happy together being a long distance relationship and in fact the very first one to be working. however he beat me to the punch line and proposed to me what a romeo and i aint no juilet..we decided to have a secret engagement ceromony while i am in Chicago this summer via Handfasting. i am so looking forward to it.. and we decided on celtic bands. What more of a birthday gift could i want..he is a great guy and we decided to be very off beat in our wedding too goin goth. . i say stay engaged a yr the least. Reply I proposed the FH. I did it totally by accident; we were just snuggling one day in bed and it popped out. We were both fairly anti-marriage so I have no idea why I said it, and he said no; he wanted to be with me forever but he didn't want to get married. We talked about it a couple of times over the next few weeks, and one morning he came home from an all-nighter feeling quite ecstatic (if you get my drift) and said it would be really nice to get married. I told him to wait until he'd sobered up and I'd ask him again; he did and I did and he said yes 🙂 I then got him a ring and he got me a ring and I did the bended knee thing over a chip supper. Romance ain't dead, no siree. Reply Well, I have been with my guy for almost two years now. It is the most wonderful relationship (boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, whatever) I have ever been in. What's more, I know that he feels the same way. I am ready to get married, and I have made him well aware of that fact. I asked him if he would prefer that I propose marriage to him, thinking that it would take some of the pressure off. He said that he appreciated the gesture, but told me that he wants to propose to me. He said that it was a responsibility that he wants. He is a bit of a traditionalist in some ways (and I love him for it!:)) and believes that proposing marriage isn't just a gesture that can be made by either of us. It is a symbol that he is ready to stand by me and work on our lives together. So although I agree that it is a great idea to propose to your boyfriend, remember that a relationship is about being honest with each other, and knowing what your partner wants as well. So now I am waiting… but at least I get to wait around with the greatest guy on the planet. how many people can say as much?:) Reply I've been with my boy for a year, but in that time we've become part of each other's families and bought a three bedroom house together, as well as agreeing that we want to get married and have children. So it feels quite odd that we're not engaged at times. We sometimes talk about what we want from our wedding (we're totally agreed on the invitations, piper, band and the fact that we are definitely having an Italian ice cream cart for desserts) but he says he's waiting for the right time to propose. There's part of me that would like to ask but, having been a girl who always got "the fuzzy end of the lollipop" in the past, I am actually rather enjoying the anticipation of how, when and where he's going to propose. That said, I'll probably know before he does it, as he has to ask my Grandmother's permission (and for her diamond ring, which is to be my engagement ring) before he can ask me. The fact that he has to have permission from the female elders of my family fulfils my feminist urges while letting me enjoy the pleasure of being asked. Reply My partner and I are proposing to each other at Disneyworld in May!!!!!!!!!!!! Two proposals, two rings. Reply I proposed to my man in august. I planned a surprise trip for him to the place he always talked about wanting to see(Ireland),i took him there, i found a romantic courtyard behind one of our hotels,i took him by the hand and led him to a spot next to a little fountain pool,i told him how much he means to me and i asked him to marry me. he's now wearing the carbon fiber ring i'd bought for him ahead of time and we're in the middle of planning our wedding. before my proposal i had joked with him numerous times saying with confidence "Daniel,someday you're going to marry me". he always thought it was so funny that i was so sure of myself, but he never denied it. he loves me for being so different,so i figured it was only fitting that i be the one to propose.it wasnt that i was in a rush or didnt want to wait,it was just a "me" thing for me to do it. some people think its a little weird when they hear that i was the one to ask,but most people think its cool and applaud me for having the courage to do something against tradition. Reply Ah, thanks for this post. I proposed to mine. I thought it would be easy and I didn't think he'd be very surprised. Wrong on both counts, but hey we're engaged now! It is scary, but I didn't want to wait around or to nag him into proposing. So I did it. We were in Canada for our 3rd anniversary and I got him cinnamon rolls before he woke up and wrote it on a napkin. I thought I was going to puke. He started to read it and I burst into tears. Anyway, yaaay for chicks proposing! And for those whose dudes did propose, give him a hug and tell him how brave he was because I found it really is terrifying, even if you are reasonably sure the person will say yes. Reply So – for starters, this took a few months. First, I brought it up and we decided we needed more time to think. (Both of us, but him more so than I.) That was November. Then I tried to let it drop, but it was pretty much all I could think about: "I want to marry this man." To make matters worse, he kept talking about kids again and again and it was driving me nuts – because I knew he WAS ready. It was obvious in everything he said about parenting and raising kids together and pregnancy and everything. He WAS so ready to be a family. He just didn't see the connections between this life he kept describing and our wedding. But I didn't want to push the issue too soon/too fast and be "that girl." (Sigh. I kinda am "that girl," though. Full disclosure.) I brought it up next in our basement a month of two later during a wonderful night that was SO wonderful I was bursting with "letsgetmarriedness." I said – "We should get married." He laughed and asked if I was proposing. I chickened out/kinda wanted to vomit and emphatically said "no." (baaawwwwk…bawwwwwwk….) It felt like one of those nightmares when you find yourself in front of the whole school naked with a clarinet and no sheet music. Flash forward (through a few related fights – yes, we're humans, not story characters) to two weeks ago – early March. We were in bed watching West Wing re-runs. Again, I'm blissing out. "This is the life I want," I keep thinking. "THIS IS THE MAN." I said matter-of-factly, "We want to get married, right?" He said, "Yeah, I guess. Yes." I said, "Next year – right? This is what we've kicked around. Right?" He said, "Yeah, but why do we have to decide a year in advance? We'll just do it next year. That sounds fine." I said, "Actually, a year-long engagement IS pretty normal." (pause) He looks at me like I'm wearing three heads. "SERIOUSLY!? Are you joking? A whole year to plan a party?" I said solemnly: "yes." He begins to see the light. A year of engagement isn't BEYOND ALL IMAGINATION any longer. It's clearly sinking in. His face looks calm. Even a twinkle of giddiness behind his very – if not exceedingly – practical/logical eyes. He then said our version of "YES I'LL MARRY YOU!" He said with a close-lipped grin: "Oh man – you're going to be up all night tonight, aren't you?" Now we're engaged. 🙂 Getting married in exactly 12.5 months. 😛 (AND WE'RE BOTH RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY! Seriously – we're chasing each other around the house, laughing, talking about kids, planning this thing people call "a wedding," and getting giddy just being around each other. It's a like a shot of adrenaline in the love machine. We're happily in l-overdrive.) P.S. Whew. That was an exhausting couple of months, though, letmejustsay. Reply I just asked my boyfriend to marry me on Monday. He had been teasing me that I needed to ask him soon, so I knew his answer would be yes. I STILL freaked out. I was originally planning on asking Thursday, but spent all weekend freaking out instead. There was so much stupid internal pressure. It had to be memorable, it had to be special… Finally I gave up and said lets go walk on the beach, then I asked him. Of course he said yes. When people ask if I knew he was going to ask and I say actually I asked him, half of them are shocked, half are like "good for you" I am designing our wedding rings, so my engagement ring will be the practice ring, so neither of us have one yet. Reply I want to propose to my man, but my question is, what do you do about a ring on the wedding day? Do you regift the one you already gave him? Do you buy a new one, only cheaper? Or do you not give him a "proposal ring" to begin with? Reply Some men wear engagement rings too. Then, they will switch the ring for a wedding band not unlike the women. I have met couples where both the man and the woman have worn engagement rings. You can also forgo the ring all together; a lot of women get engaged without rings too. Some people find rings important and symbolic of the engagement, while others don't. Whatever feels right to you two as a couple. Reply Just in case all-ya'll feel too t raditional to propose, just wait till next year! It's TOTALLY traditional for ladies to propose in a leap year! How do I know? Wikipedia knows all: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_year Look under 'folk traditions' !! Reply I think it's super cool to be the lady proposer. It's just not right for us. We've been together for five years now and we've talked about marriage since year one (I think he tried to get me to elope sometime during year 2) but we knew we wanted to wait until we were done with our undergraduate degrees. SO…I'd say I began to get a little antsy around the end of my first senior year (I loved college so much ::ahem:: that I decided to stay for five years)…just browsing wedding blogs, staying up late with my sister looking at bridesmaid dresses. Then, my SUPERsenior year arrived, and it just felt so very right to get engaged, but I didn't say a word. In the meantime, we find out he was accepted to medical school (!!!) and began to make some serious plans for our future. I'm doing my nails about every week, hoping to have a ring on my finger asap. Eventually, though, my dreams of a fall proposal, winter proposal (Disneyland for Christmas and San Fran for new years!!), and even a birthday proposal came and went. I finally had a moment. I'll just call it that. Crying was involved. He then proceeded to tell me that he was a dummy and didn't start saving for a ring until just this winter and that he was so sorry he hadn't planned in advance but he was saving up for a super special ring and he was really stoked to do it…in his way with his ring. It was really special for him to pick me out a ring (he's been vaguely keeping me up on his search with new ring facts he's been learning from various jewelers), and he, having always been a super romantic and very thoughtful guy, is intent on planning something special. And knowing that (and loving the crap out of him), I have decided to tuck my antsy-ness back inside and wait it out. We HAVE made a compromise that I have begun to plan the wedding, we've picked out a venue and a date, and I can continue to feed my wedding-loving-monster daily. Now he's promised me a proposal before graduation. Which is now in T minus 12 days. 🙂 Bottom line: I don't think it's really about popping a question like it is the continual discussion of a life you will lead together. Being engaged (officially) won't change anything about how we roll. But I'm still excitedly waiting. 🙂 Reply My boyfriend and I were talking about going on a trip, he wanted to go to Vegas, I said, "if we go to Vegas, we are getting married." He didn't say no! About a month later, we were hitched at the Graceland Wedding Chapel. He is still opening car doors for me and making me laugh 8.5 years later! Reply I've asked – he thought it was a joke. I insisted I was serious – he laughed and shrugged it off. He thinks a proposal only counts if it's the guy doing it with a ring in-hand… Reply I proposed to my man and he freaked, I think I tore the last shred of masculinity he had away from him. I just wanted him to know I wanted to get married and he got the hint! eventually he proposed back – 3 years later. Reply I had considered proposing to him, but a few months ago, right around my birthday, he dropped some hints that he had something special planned for my birthday. I TOTALLY knew what he was doing, lol. So I kept my mouth shut and sure enough, on my birthday, he proposed and I got the most beautiful engagement ring ever. I was so excitedthat I immediately started jumping up and down and I managed to smack my head against the wall. However, we plan on bucking tradition in many other ways. Dan is going to take my last name, plus there will be no religion in the ceremony at all. Plus, I have some rather unique wedding ideas that involve things such as 1. A sword 2. The video game Rock Band, and 3. My friend's WWE title belt. This will quite possibly be the most offbeat wedding anyone on our guest list will ever attend – but we wouldn't have it any other way! Reply The idea of the female proposing to the male is great. But I'm not sure if my boyfriend proposed to me or not. We've been together for almost 4 and 1/2 years and last year he said "Lets get engaged when we graduate from college" We've been talking about marriage and kids for a couple of years now, and we definitely want to do it eventually. We also havent mentioned to many people that yes, we do want to get married, when at least one of us has a career. But both our families and friends assume we'll get married. So are we engaged? Or do we need to announce it? (Which I refuse to do until one of us has a steady job) Would anyone want to give me their take on whether or not I should propose sometime in May? I asked him out and initiated our first kiss, so I'm not sure if he might want to take this one. Reply it's funny that i just stumbled upon this, tho it was posted days after i proposed to my boyfriend on xmas 2008. i also gave him my grandma's diamond ring and it ended well, but awkwardly. we are just now getting into the thick of planning. thanks for sharing this ariel, and ladies – if you want to propose, go for it, though i kinda suggest hypothetically discussing who will be doing the proposing/what his reaction would be if you did it if you want to avoid potential awkwardness. for me it was terrifying and awkward, but in the end it was totally worth it! Reply I'm proposing to my partner in 17 days. We are exchanging the rest of our XMAS gifts early since we might not be together for the holidays. I made a scrapbook of our relationship thus far, we've only been together 8, almost 9 months and the last page (the middle of the book) – it says, Will you Marry Me on it. I'm excited, I ordered the ring, it will be here on or around our anniversary – I'm almost tempted to do it all then but I will wait. Reply I proposed to my partner. It was a lovely event that took much planning. I did first interview a couple guys (our best mutual friend, and the young man at the jewelry store), just to see how they might feel if a woman proposed to them. When I told them that I partly wanted to demonstrate that I wasn't in a relationship to have a man spend money on me, they said it was an awesome idea. The man at the store said he wished his fiancée held the same belief :-X Reply I proposed to my fiance after several important people told me I shouldn't do that. My son, his best friend, my best friend all told me it was his job and if he hadn't asked, don't expect "yes." Down deep, I didn't feel that was going to be the case, so I went and bought him his engagement/wedding band, got on one knee and proposed. He thought I was kidding, but when he figured out I was serious, he teared up a little and said yes. I think the thing that made it different from a woman to man was that I didn't make a big deal out of it. I didn't put him on the spot in front of a crowd or take him on a fancy date. We were at home alone and he had just gotten done telling me why he would never propose (because felt that a man was expected to do that as a symbol of love and I should know he loved me without a proposal) so I took charge and did it myself. I'm kinda sad I'll never have that moment where he does that for me, but if I'd waited, that moment wouldn't have happened regardless. Reply We talked about getting married, then asked a friend to make both of us engagement rings. We then planned to propose at different times to one another once the rings were done. Luckily, we both really wanted to surprise the other so through some stealth and luck we managed to pull off some surprise proposals–him first, then me. I have to say, it was a really fun tradition–one that I'd recommend to anyone thinking about proposing to your fella! 🙂 (you can read more about our proposals on my wedding blog: http://emilyandjordanaregettingmarried.blogspot.com/) Reply I wanted to propose but he kept telling me "there's a plan" and that he wanted to do the proposing. Who am I to ruin a good surprise in action? He proposed, but I wasn't super impressed with "the plan" and called "do-over" only I decided that I was the one who would do it over. While ring shopping for me out of state, he saw a ring that he loved. I bought it, but told him that we'd have to continue ring shopping for him because the one he liked had already been sold. Sneaky, eh? It gets better. So he proposes a week before Christmas and his ring is just burning a hole in my pocket. On Christmas day I put a crumpled up picture of the gps I bought him in the box my ring came in. Before I give it to him, I give him an abbreviated, "I love you, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you…blah, blah, blah" speech. He opens it and all he gets is a GPS – which took him a moment to figure it out, btw. Next we're about to leave the house to gather with the rest of the family when he notices an unwrapped present with no name tag. "What's this? is this for me," he asks? "Of course sweetie I forgot it!" It's of course nothing more than a block of wood that figured into another plan I had that didn't work out. Strike two, brother! Finally, later that night, under the christmas tree, I give him the real ring in front of his whole family along with the entire "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you, you deserve a special moment as well." His sister immediately yells out, "He's getting a 'man-gagement ring!" And there you have it, the double proposal! Reply I just recently proposed to my boyfriend of four years…He is from Philly and a HUGE Rocky fan so as we planned his 40th birthday trip to Philly where he hadnt been in 10 years and I had NEVER been, I started making my plans. I proposed to him AFTER running the Rocky steps and right beneath the Rocky statue Ring and all. He was stunned, but it wasnt totally unexpected since I tend to be the assertive one in our relationship. LOL. The feedback we got from family and friends was FABULOUS. Everyone thought it was awesome that I proposed to him. Reply I want to propose so bad I am 25 he is 29 we have known eachother for twelve years we have only been dating for six months but I know it had always been him. I just don't know how to go about doing it I am tossed between just proposing with no ring or proposing for him with a ring but I am not sure on his size or what kind of metal he would want. Uggg this is the hard part. Reply If I ever do find a special guy… All I know is that as nice as rings can be it'll have to be something non expensive… I tend to lose jewelry! It would be me to ask… I go for shy guys.. I ask them out, I set up dates… I wear the pants 😉 Reply I proposed to my man on Fathers' Day! He kept telling me that I had to propose since he asked me to date him, but apparently that was just his stall tactic haha. I wrote "Daddy will you please marry mommy?" on our daughter's onesie and asked him to change her diaper when we got home from work. He loved it, but felt sad that I was too impatient to wait for him to ask me this winter. Reply Thanks for this article! I proposed to my now fiance in October of 2012, and our big day is August 17th this year. It was the best moment of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Rory and I went ring shopping, so I I knew we were on the same page. I decided to make the ol' switch-a-roo and proposed to him. He excitedly and happily said yes (like 3 times!). Thank you for the inspiration to move forward with my plan :). Reply I proposed to my boyfriend with the time-honored approach of customized M&Ms: http://reliablyuncomfortable.com/2014/01/12/how-i-asked-him-to-marry-me/ Reply Omg I did it. I bought the ring. Dun dun dun… Now I'm so nervous. I plan on asking him on his birthday next month. I plan on buying a cake with the question will you marry me on it. Not so sure if I should get on one knee or not. I'm gonna do it in private. I think he would prefer it that way. We have been together for three years now dating two years prior. We talk about getting married all the time. So nervous yet I can't wait. Wish me luck. 🙂 Reply I proposed to my bf 3 yrs ago to show him i was serious (1yr after a series of brief splits) & bc i was sure hed never do it. The feminist in me decided it was a great thing to do rather than waiting to see if he'd ever "pick me" back. We're into woodworking & he wanted a place to put his mail/keys/junk, so i decided to build him a cabinet. I cut all the letters of "will you marry me" out of wood, painted them gold & silver and stood them up on the shelves inside. I evrn bought a cheap silver men's wedding band as a token. Set up the camera, put on a mix of all "our" songs, waited for him to come home. In the end i had to delete that video bc it was humiliating and heartbreaking. He opened the cabinet and laughed. He asked "are you serious?" And i burst into tears. I couldn't look him in the eye for a week. We got "engaged" 2 yrs ago at my urging.no proposal, just bought the ring. I call it my fake engagement, or non-engaging engagement ring. I stopped wearing it a week ago. Yesterday was our 5 year anniversary. I spent the evening grieving my twenties/ my youth. Turning 30 this year and probably wasted the last 5 years on him. This is a terrible comment, i apologize deeply for that. I just so badly needed to get this story out of me. Good luck to everyone planning to propose! You'll get what you want or need either way, because sometimes you just need to know what you've gotten yourself into. Reply I kind of did this. Brian was waiting for the "perfect moment". And, in our long distance relationship, I was worried that we only had a week together before he went home and that we had a lot of paperwork to file for immigration if we were going to do this. So, my neurosis kind of pushed it and I asked first. Then he asked. Then we ordered a ring online. It came while we were a continent apart, but I brought it with me when it was my turn to visit and took it off so he could ask me again (repeatedly). 🙂 What? He knew the answer would be yes, and I wanted to hear the question a few times. 🙂 Reply After what felt like ages of talking about a wedding and "some day" stuff and sort of skirting the issue, I had enough. So While we were walking the dogs I said "So, how about we get married this September?" And looked looked at me like a deer in the headlights. Then walked for a bit and thought about it and said "September is way too close, no time to plan anything. Maybe the September after?" I said "I really wouldn't want to wait that long. I would go crazy." He said "You're really geared on this eh?" I started crying. He said "Okay. How about May? We can do it for Beltane" I said "Is that okay?" He gave me a hug, said "Yes." After our walk, he went and made a facebook event page and invited EVERYONE. Reply I told my FH that I kissed him first, I told him that I loved him first, but he had to propose to me first. Which he did. It was lovely but I also wanted a chance to ask him as well. Because it was important to me that he got to say yes as well. Reply I proposed to my husband 🙂 went out bought my ring proposed to him and after he said yes put it on 🙂 Reply I proposed to my bf last March we had talked about and already had put money down for our wedding. we had made it clear that we needed to ask each other . . . im still waiting to be asked but I know its happening soon. I found it very rewarding asking him we make it a point to be on equal ground in our relationship. Reply I think breaking tradition is great, especially if you are being true to yourselves. We did not have a traditional proposal: We basically had a discussion and decided together we would like to get married. Then, we went ring shopping together. There was no "popping of the question" involved because we already knew the answer to the question. The only surprise was he went and picked up the ring without telling me, and surprised me at dinner. But I knew it was coming. There was also none of that "getting permission from dad" tradition. The only person whose permission I need to marry is me. We are both independent and do things our own way, so the proposal was a great reflection of who we are as a couple. Reply I know I'm a bit late to the party here, but I just wanted to say thank you for this post. I'm going to propose to my boyfriend in a few weeks when he comes to visit (we're long-distance right now). I have it all planned out and I even ordered matching QALO rings for us. While looking online for stories about women proposing to men, all I could find were articles about how to get him to propose or pieces telling me that women shouldn't propose, EVER. It's disheartening to see those articles saying that I'm doing it wrong, but it's so encouraging to be able to read this post and see everyone's stories about their proposals. I'm really happy (and excited) with my decision to propose and it's great to know that I'm not alone. Thank you! Reply converse??????u? Reply Read more comments ‹ 1 2 3 4 › Join the conversation Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.


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Amazon Instant Video for iOS adds support for Apple's AirPlay [u]
Amazon on Tuesday updated its Instant Video application for Apple's iOS with a number of new features, most notably supporting the AirPlay standard for wireless streaming to an Apple TV set-top box [updated].
The official Amazon Instant Video app allows customers who buy video content from the online retailer to view movies and television episodes. It also enables Amazon customers access more than 150,000 videos available for rent or purchase.
In addition, more than 40,000 titles are available to Amazon Prime subscribers at no additional cost.
Version 2.1 of Amazon Instant Video adds the ability AirPlay stream content to Apple TV. Other features included in the update are:
- IMDB cast and director information, ratings, goofs, trivia and quotes
- Read customer reviews
- Find other videos featuring cast or director
- Customers who watched this also watchedâ¦
- Concurrent downloads
- Improved offline experience
- Faster and more responsive interface
- Bug fixes and stability improvements
With Amazon Instant Video, purchased or rented videos can be downloaded for offline viewing. Content is also synced through Amazon's Whispersync feature, allowing users to pick up where they left off on another device.
Amazon Instant Video first debuted on Apple's iPad in August of 2012, when Prime subscribers had access to just 20,000 titles â half of what is available today. Support for the iPhone and iPod touch eventually came last December.

subset: commoncrawl


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Hey, D.C., Phillies Called, They Want Their Fans Back
That was the sound of the Washington Nationals faithful… before the NLDS Game 3 even started.
That's right, while the Cardinals personnel was being announced prior to the game, Nationals fans invoked their inner "Philly-ness" and slaughtered the birds on the bat with their vocal angst (the birds on the bat slaughtered the Nats on the field).
The booing only increased towards raucous levels through the first and second innings as the Cardinals piled up runs. By the 7th inning, most of the fans were already gone, giving up on their team before the game was over.
Classy, D.C. Very classy.
I'm still scratching my head on this one. When did D.C. fans become so entitled? They haven't won anything yet!
Nationals Park is one of my favorite baseball havens of all time. I have been there several times now, most of those games against the Cardinals, and I have never seen nor heard the fans act like such a-holes.
I guess the transient Beltway fans have taken over for the real deal — if the real deal actually exists.
Meanwhile, the Cardinals (and their fans) remain awesome. I'm proof. Seriously.
Don't hate me 'cuz I'm right.


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The US-Egypt friendly has been officially called off.
The US Soccer Federation and Egyptian Football Association announced on Monday that the match, originally scheduled for Feb. 9 in Cairo, has been canceled due to the continuing political unrest in Egypt.
"We were excited about the opportunity to play against Egypt, but due to the current situation, all parties agreed it was best to cancel the match," USSF president Sunil Gulati said in a release announcing the news. "We appreciate the efforts of the Egyptian Football Association and the US State Department as we worked through this situation."
The American federation examined other possibilities, but ultimately "determined it will not play a match on this fixture date." The United States national team won't take the field again until March.
Bob Bradley had planned to bring a strong cadre of players to Cairo. He'll get a chance to evaluate his team when it takes on Argentina and Paraguay on March 26 and March 29, respectively. The coach will have access to his entire roster as the matches fall on a FIFA fixture date.
Noah Davis covers the United States national team for MLSsoccer.com. Follow him on Twitter at @noahedavis.


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reports from Seattle on a protest at the University of Washington against right-winger Milo Yiannopoulos that led to the shooting of an anti-racist activist.
THE POTENTIALLY deadly threat of the far right was thrown into sharp focus last week when an anti-racist protester was shot at a January 20 event at the University of Washington (UW) in Seattle that featured "alt-right" figure and Breitbart News editor Milo Yiannopoulos.
Yiannopoulos–who has been permanently banned by Twitter for his bigoted attacks and whipping up of online lynch mobs–has made a point of touring college campuses in an effort to spread his hate.
At UW, demonstrators, including "Antifas"–anti-fascist protesters who sometimes adopt Black Bloc-style tactics, including covering their faces with bandanas–gathered against Yiannopolis in the early evening, following the end of a student occupation of Odegaard Library, which hundreds had participated in earlier in the day to protest Trump's inauguration.
Most of the protesters who occupied campus earlier in the day made their way to another anti-inauguration event off campus, with a minority staying behind to protest Yiannopoulos.
Beginning in the afternoon, as Yiannopoulos supporters began to line up for his event, police put up metal blockades to narrow the access to Kane Hall, where Yiannopoulos was scheduled to speak.
As the sun began to set, a group of roughly 60 Antifas had gathered, along with other left-wing demonstrators, while the line of those waiting to hear Yiannopoulos speak had grown to more than 100 people. Police armed with batons stood shoulder-to-shoulder with menacing authority along the choke-point.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
INITIALLY, THERE was no chanting or confrontation, but the air was heavy with tension. Just before 5 p.m., Antifa protesters raised flags and began chanting "Ah, anti, anti-fasciste!"
The group marched in a half-circle around the line in front of Kane Hall before wedging itself between the police blockade and the line of Yiannopoulos supporters, effectively cutting off access to the venue. Those who could not fit in the wedge pooled to the east, and began mocking and heckling pro-Yiannopoulos supporters.
Also in the area were several dozen neutral onlookers and around the same number of more moderate anti-Yiannopoulos protesters. While many of them held signs expressing disagreement with Yiannopoulos, they largely stayed silent during the protest, while the Antifas raised a variety of left-wing chants. The Yiannopoulos crowd, meanwhile, attempted to raise the occasional chant of "USA, USA!"
Those on the front line of the Antifa section were sometimes engaged in physical confrontations with the more agitated and provocative members of Yiannopoulos supporters. There were several instances where individuals exchanged blows.
Tensions escalated through the evening, with a Yiannopoulos supporter firing pepper spray indiscriminately into the Antifa crowd at least twice. Some belligerent right-wingers were marked with blue paint by Antifa protesters.
For the duration of the evening, the majority of the crowd outside of Kane Hall was effectively held back from entering the building for Yiannopoulos' scheduled talk, although a portion managed to make it into the building through access from a parking garage, which police had prevented protesters from occupying.
Just before 9 p.m., a loud crack rang out, and a large portion of the crowd stampeded back. Word spread that someone had been shot–it turned out that an Antifa activist had been shot by a Yiannopoulos supporter, reportedly after intervening in a conflict between the assailant and another person.
The injured anti-racist activist is a member of Industrial Workers of the World. Initially, he was in intensive care in serious condition, but his condition has reportedly improved since. His lawyer has asked that the media refrain from publishing his name out of fear of right-wing retaliation, and says the victim does not want charges filed against the man who shot him, but wants to engage in "dialogue and a restorative justice process" with his attacker.
According to reports, the shooter–who turned himself into police, but was released without charges "pending further investigation"–claims that he acted in "self-defense."
But if any member of the Yiannopoulos crowd had wanted to walk away from any confrontation with Antifa protesters, they would not have found it difficult. Each time that fights were broken up between Antifas and Yiannopoulos supporters earlier in the evening, both parties were always able to move away from each other–even when it was a reactionary encroaching into Antifa "territory."
As the Trump presidency continues to embolden the right wing, our side will need to stand up to such hate wherever it raises its head–and strategize and struggle collectively to determine how we can build movements capable of confronting and opposing them.
Donate to a fund established to help the shooting victim with medical expenses.


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BT Mobile customers are to get free calls to 0800 numbers, just like fixed-line users, but in stark contrast to other operators' customers who are paying up to 25 pence a minute.
From this morning there is no charge for BT Mobile customers calling freephone numbers, so they can spend hours calling support to find out what happened to BT Fusion and trying to get a bill out of the telco after more than a year of use, without getting charged an arm and a leg for the privilege.
In the UK we pay for all phone calls one way or another (yes, even local ones), so many companies have freephone numbers beginning with 0800 that require the call receiver to pay for it. But when such a call comes from a mobile the recipient is unwilling to pay the higher rate, so the caller is usually charged - after being warned with a recorded announcement. It seems unlikely that all the operators of 0800 numbers have agreed to pay for the calls so BT are likely taking a hit on each one, albeit a small one given the low cost of calling these days.
According to moneysupermarket.com almost half of the UK population (41 per cent) have called an 0800 number from a mobile and the vast majority (69 per cent) have no idea how much it costs, so dropping the charge will be popular with users.
BT's mobile operation, a mobile virtual network operator (MVNO) piggybacked on Vodafone's infrastructure, was launched in concert with a VoIP capability dubbed "Fusion". The Fusion product was recently dropped entirely, and while the company has been involved in talks with T-Mobile and 3 lately, we are now hearing that these meetings are about a wireless broadband offering rather than mobile telephony. ®


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Each product provides advantages in terms of economy, strength, construction, fire resistance and overall durability. Integrated, high performance building materials and systems of proven capability are critical for increasing savings. We plan each roofing component to fill an essential role in total system performance, ensuring maximum life cycle cost advantages.


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State audit reveals thousands of polling place violations
Violations could prevent the disabled from voting
A new report finds more than 10,000 violations of federal laws governing accessibility of polling places in Wisconsin over the past three years.
The Government Accountability Board report released Thursday is the result of unannounced inspections at 1,614 polling places statewide over the past 16 elections. On average, each polling site inspected had 6.5 violations of the Americans with Disabilities Act or the Help America Vote Act.
Board director Kevin Kennedy says more than a third of the violations were serious enough to prevent a voter with a disability from entering a polling place and casting a ballot privately. He says Wisconsin has "quite a ways to go to ensure everyone with a disability is able to vote privately and independently."
Municipal clerks are responsible for making polling places accessible.


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Posts Tagged 'similar situations'
Terrible Cost of Unforgiveness Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D.
Historically, forgiveness has been addressed rather minimally and ineffectively in traditional therapies. We have always recognized that unforgiveness was a problem in human adjustment. But, we have tended largely to ignore it as a treatment issue. There are many reasons for such neglect I suppose, not the least of which is that we really were not sure how to eliminate it. Another is that many of us are uncomfortable and/or unfamiliar with spiritual considerations in psychotherapy.
Roger Callahan pointed the way for the technical process of treating unforgiveness. He deserves much credit for this finding. Still, he did not seem to recognize and/or acknowledge the enormity of the negative effects of unforgiveness on the human soul and spirit.
I am convinced that unforgiveness and related attitudes of resentment and bitterness are among the deadliest dynamics in the human psyche. Hence this discourse. I hope to alert we energy therapists to the opportunity and the obligation to use our elegant techniques to free our clients of this severely restrictive psychological and spiritual problem.
Here are just some of the inevitable costs to you and me whenever we hold onto unforgiveness. They are all in operation, continuously, in every unforgiveness, whether we consciously recognize them or not. These consequences happen within everyone every time that we get entrapped in unresolved unforgiveness. We have all paid these high costs in our lives over and over again. We probably still do pay them in many unhealed areas of our psyches and our spirits.
Consider these consequences of judgment, criticism and unforgiveness. 1. We continue to feel the psychological pain of the perceived offense. 2. We block healthy communication and potential reconciliation with the "offender". 3. We perceive similar offenses by others who remind us of the offender. 4. We attract similar situations, people and injuries to ourselves. 5. We give up our personal power to others to determine how we will feel and respond (actually, we "react") in similar situations. 6. We render ourselves incapable of ever really knowing, and learning from, the full truth about the event that damaged the relationship. 7. We take added toxic negativity into our present relationships. 8. We isolate/prevent/avoid/limit ourselves from having new, more healthy, and more fulfilling relationships. 9. We become vulnerable to becoming spiteful, resentful and bitter. 10. We disrespect, distrust and devalue ourselves at deep levels of our psyches. 11. We block ourselves spiritually from receiving help and healing from our Higher Source. 12. Our own spirits and souls "shrivel up" (contract) more and more.
Most counselors could probably add several more items to this "dirty dozen" price list. That is a very expensive set of costs to pay for self-righteous unforgiveness, isn't it? Yet, most of us have some of these attitudes buried deep within our subconscious minds. I have not seen a client yet who does not have numerous unresolved hurts and other emotional injuries, always with judgment, criticism, unforgiveness and related negative attitudes attached.
Fortunately, we now have the tools and the therapeutic support no longer to be victimized in all of these ways by the devastation of anger and unforgiveness. We can readily neutralize and eliminate all of the psychological, but not the spiritual, costs of unforgiveness simply by treating ourselves with EFT and other energy techniques.
About Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D. Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D. is among the first professionals trained in the Callahan Techniques; (now TFT). He was trained by Roger Callahan, Ph.D., in early 1990, and has been refining his own BE SET FREE FASTtm programs for the past nine years. He is now teaching and training professionals in seminars throughout the United States.


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Juno Temple is a woman on the verge a major breakthrough.
Audiences are going to get a taste of what Temple, the 22-year-old daughter of film director Julien Temple ("Absolute Beginners"), can do with stints in high-profile films like Paul W.S. Anderson's hyper-kinetic take on "The Three Musketeers", and next year's breathlessly awaited Batman sequel "The Dark Knight Rises," but it's in the tiny, captivating indie "Dirty Girl" – that Temple truly announces herself as an emerging talent to be reckoned with.
Playing Danielle, a slutty Southern trailer-park teen who forms an unlikely bond with Clarke (newcomer Jeremy Dozier), a gay teen from an abusive home, as they road trip away from their family dramas, Temple is the crackling lightning rod at the center of writer-director Abe Sylvia's knowing film, a movie so adroitly '80s it almost seems made in the era. PopcornBiz caught up with the movie star-in-the-making.
U.S. & World
In this role you get to do a little bit of everything: be sexy, funny and nasty; you get to cry and scream and fight with people. Was this just a dream, in terms of testing your range?
"Yeah, I read the script and wanted to be involved in it so badly. It is – it's a dream role for any young woman to play, and not only all the different emotions going on, but she's also got so many layers going on down there in a big way. There are so many different things going on behind her eyes. I love that, where someone is having a conversation with somebody but they're thinking about someone else, that kind of thing. Danielle was one of the coolest roles that I'd ever read in my life."
This isn't an typical movie set in the '80s that's so on the nose and in your face with Ms. Pac-Man or a Rubik's Cube on every table top. How did you connect to the subtle differences of that time period? Were you even born in the '80s?
"1989 – I just turned 22. The music: Abe [Sylvia] gave us the soundtrack from the get-go because we were rehearsing the dance routines, too. I didn't see people doing that at The Roosevelt on a Saturday night! And the way that the set was dressed, the way that you walked into your bedroom – it's a whole different world that you're invited to that feels different and smells different, everything. Costumes, too: you hold yourself differently in the costumes. But the coolest thing ever that I loved and thought was the best choice that Abe made was that Danielle was much more a '70's girl than an '80's girl. She has all her mom's hand-me-downs and looks different in high school. Nobody else is dressed like her."
Were you comfortable with the overt sexuality that was putting out there at the beginning of the film or did you have to find a place in your head to do that?
"No – I'm not playing me. Nobody knows what I'm really like when I'm trying to pick up a boy. I'm playing a character. Sexuality stuff isn't something that really daunts me. I find violence more daunting, actually. I've done quite a lot of sexy stuff in movies, and I don't know, if it feels right it feels right. If it doesn't, you shouldn't do it, I think. I think the whole thing about being sexy is being unaware that you're sexy, like, I don't know when the camera is filming my butt. You shouldn't think about it in that way. You should think about what the point of the scene is. But I think when you're young you're discovering your sexuality and playing with it, figuring it out and you don't know what's going on. It's funny, especially when you're in your '80's clothing and you've got a camel-toe with weird, straight hair and you're sweating in the L.A. heat. It's like you don't feel desperately sexy, but you just want to do the scene and do it right."
Your role in "The Dark Knight Rises" is still top secret, but what can you say about your experiences making that film?
"It's extraordinary. It's one of the coolest opportunities that I've ever been given, for sure, to work with such an extraordinary cast. I'm so stoked to be a part of it. I mean, it's all kinds of making a movie. You have to go and you have to be prepared. It's my day job. It's what I do, and sometimes it's different. Sometimes it's small. Sometimes it's big. Sometimes you meet everyone on the set. Sometimes you meet, like, a third of the people. That's just the way that it is, but you have to go and do your job. I think all jobs are daunting, however small or however large. You're nervous and you want to get it right. You want to nail it and make everyone proud."
When did you know that this was the job for you? That you simply HAD to be an actress?
"I was four years old, I remember it. My parents lived in L.A. at the time and I was lying on the couch and my dad had this projector screen. He put on Jean Cocteau's 'La Belle et la Bete' and I was mesmerized. My imagination had never been able to go to places like that. There's one scene where the Beast is carrying Beauty through this doorway and her clothes go from rags to riches. You see it happen and I remember watching it and thinking, 'I want to do that. I really want to do that. I want my clothes to change like that. I want to be carried by the Beast.' I was just mesmerized."
Dirty Girl opens Oct. 7


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I don't mean to throw Tom Oates under the bus, but at the end of the day he's left me no choice. Now it's the Green Bay quarterback situation that is the "perfect storm."
En route to a 30-21 loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Packers flew directly into the Bermuda Triangle for quarterbacks. In what had to be their worst nightmare, general manager Ted Thompson and coach Mike McCarthy saw all three of their quarterback moves form into a perfect storm, one so strong it even managed to drop a little rain on the Milwaukee Brewers' parade.
I don't disagree with much of the analysis here, but please can we rid ourselves forever of the dumb-ass "perfect storm" cliche?


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Your bag is empty.
Great news! We're offering a 30 DAY RETURN POLICY on all orders to Australia and New Zealand destinations.
- Jewellery
- Non-Returnable Items
- How to Return an Item
- Refund Policy
- Repair service options
We feel pretty confident that you'll not only love your Ice purchase, but that you'll wear it immediately, and model it in the mirror. But ... just in case you don't absolutely LOVE your sparkle, you can send it back to us within 30 days from the shipping date, and we'll be happy to arrange an exchange or refund. All you need to do is call customer service (1300 100 423) and we'll issue you a return authorization number (RAN).
The product must be shipped back with a tracking number and fully insured. Our return shipping address is within Australia. If the parcel isn't sent with a tracking number and is lost / uninsured, we obviously cannot refund the purchase.
Once you receive a RAN, you'll need to return the less than loved item in new or unused condition (meaning no scratches, marks or damage, and no alteration or resizing of the item) with all the original packaging and materials included).
We trust you, but will still need to inspect the item upon receipt -- just to make sure -- before we issue a refund or exchange. Of course if the item has been resized, altered or damaged, or obviously used, we won't be able to offer you that refund or exchange and will have to return it to you (at your expense).
We must receive your returned item(s) within 30 days of the original shipping date. If we receive your item after 30 days of the date of shipping, we may refuse the return and ship it back to you at your expense.
Also, any 'Free Gifts' we may have sent you with your purchase – we'll need those back too -- if you'd like a refund for your item. If the product is shipped to us without the Free Gift, then we won't be able to issue you a refund.
Now let's say you received a damaged item, an item you didn't order or the wrong item, we'll a. first apologise profusely and then b. exchange it free of charge, or refund the full cost of the merchandise and shipping charges. Of course we will pay for your return postage cost! Again, not that we don't trust you, but we'll need to inspect the item upon receipt. If it is indeed an error or a defective product, your refund or exchange will be on its way shortly. However, if the product is found to not be defective, shipping fees will apply and/or a partial refund may be issued.
For all orders over $1,000, Ice will cover the cost of your shipping back to us, even if the product simply isn't to your preference.
Bridal and engagement rings that come with an IGI© or GIA© Appraisal Certificate must be returned with the certificate. If the certificate is not returned with the bridal or engagement ring, your refund will be reduced by the amount of the replacement cost (usually around $100, sometimes more). If you don't have the certificate, let us know that when you call so we can quote you the exact price for the replacement.
We have a great refund and exchange policy. However, some things we just can't take back:
- Items which have been abused, modified or worn.
- The item was purchased outside of our 30 day return period.
- Special orders made to customer specifications.
- Products modified as per customer requests.
- Any products that have been engraved for a customer.
- Any items that are stated to be not eligible for returns or exchanges.
Australian and New Zealand Customers
- Call our Customer Service department at 1300 100 423 to obtain a return authorization number (RAN) and write it on your return slip. We can't accept any returned merchandise without a RAN number, so be sure to get one and mark it down. For exchanges and refunds, the parcel must be returned to us with a tracking number and completely insured.
- Please read the information on the back of your original shipping document and enclose it with your purchase in the original packaging. Re-pack your product with RAN number, original shipping document, original packaging and – of course – the product you want returned or exchanged. If you don't have your original shipping document, please print and complete the return purchase form. If you are unable to print this form, please provide us with your name, address, phone number and order number on a separate piece of paper. We really need this information to process your return so don't forget to include it.
- Send your package to our return facility.
Australia & New Zealand Customers: What You Need to Know
- We inspect all returned items when they arrive.
- Refunds will be in the original form of payment.
- Your refund should arrive within three weeks (usually sooner), after the carrier issues your tracking number.
- Refunds on purchases made with a credit card will only be credited to the same card.
- Unless applicable, delivery charges are not refunded.
- If you return a partial order, we will refund you for the returned items only.
- Refunds will be applied to any unpaid balances first.
- For exchanges and returns, if the product is not found to be defective, shipping fees may apply and/or a partial refund may be issued.
If you damage your sparkle in any way after the warranty period, we can repair it for you. Really. PLUS: we offer very competitive prices.
Here's how it works:
- Contact customer service (1300 100 423) to initiate the return process.
- Post the item to us with a tracking number and insured.
- Once we receive your item, we'll appraise the damage to estimate the necessary work and cost of repair.
- We'll then contact you with the repair cost.
- If you accept the estimated costs, only then will we charge your account and proceed with the repair(s). Shipping and handling costs will be included in your cost estimate.
Please Note
- Silver items are not resizable or repairable, but we can remount or replace stones.
- We cannot give you an estimate for the cost of a repair before we examine your item.


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The Real Theater
Scott and I had a date night last week and went to see Red at the Dorothy Chandler. The show was perfectly acted and beautifully designed and the writing was neat as a pin- there wasn't a loose thread or a messy edge or a busted seam in sight. Plus, it was about Mark Rothko, whom I love. And somehow, I couldn't have cared less about it. It didn't get a hook in me anywhere. I didn't feel a thing. It was a fun night out, but that was about it.
As we left the theater, there was free Japanese Ondo/Bon dancing in the courtyard, with a live band. Bon dancing happens in concentric circles and there was a dance floor especially laid out for it, like a little race track around the fountain. It's a folk dance originally designed to welcome ancestral spirits, and it looks kind of like the electric slide, done with fans in a circle.
There were old women in kimonos and little girls in shorts and flip flops and people of all ages and races. Some knew what they were doing and some were clearly just walking by and grabbed a fan. I was riveted. So was Scott. Something about the diversity of the dancers and their general joy and lack of self-consciousness was truly moving. Of course I hopped in and got my Bon on for a minute- just try to stop me from dancing in the streets. We left totally exhilarated.
You'll always get your theater eventually, if you keep looking.


text: Thanks you David -- excellent explanation. Frank On Dec 31, 2009, at 5:51 PM, David Holland wrote: > On Thu, Dec 31, 2009 at 01:52:48PM -0600, Frank Zerangue wrote: >> Help request -- Mutex(9) indicates that mutex replaces the spl(9) system. > > Here are some general (non-NetBSD-specific) answers based on > underlying principles that will hopefully explain the situation better. > >> (1) When writing an interrupt handler, should the handler acquire a >> spin mutex before modifying some IO that may be accessed also by a >> LWP? > > Yes. In general, in a multiprocessor kernel, the interrupt handler > will not necessarily run on the same CPU that has been posting > requests to the device... and in general more than one CPU may be > doing that. It is prohibitively expensive (as well as generally > undesirable) to disable interrupts for all CPUs at once. Therefore, > disabling interrupts only affects the current CPU, so in order to keep > everything from being tied in knots, you need one or more locks. And > because you can't sleep in an interrupt handler, these must be > spinlocks. > > Spinlocks that are used from interrupt handlers must themselves also > disable interrupts. Otherwise, if a thread holding the spinlock is > interrupted by an interrupt handler that tries to acquire the same > spinlock, you get a deadlock. > > For this reason, in essentially all multiprocessor systems, the > spinlocks that you use for mutual exclusion in interrupt code disable > and re-enable interrupts for you. In NetBSD each mutex can have an > interrupt level associated with it; if that interrupt level is not > IPL_NONE, acquiring the mutex raises the current interrupt level and > releasing the mutex lowers the current interrupt level. > > And in turn, in such systems one generally never sees or uses the > splfoo() functions except in code that hasn't yet been > multiprocessorized. > > Currently in NetBSD the interrupt level is only lowered to zero and > only when all spinlocks have been released, instead of any time the > necessary interrupt level drops. This is to avoid complexity when > spinlocks are not released in order, and it mostly makes no practical > difference. (It isn't a good idea to embed e.g. a small block using an > IPL_HIGH mutex inside a large block using a lower-interrupt-level > mutex. But then again, it also isn't a good idea to have a large block > disabling interrupts or using a spinlock anyway.) > > NetBSD also has "soft interrupts" that have more process context than > ordinary interrupt handlers; instead of borrowing the context of > whatever's running when the interrupt arrives, they run on dedicated > kernel threads; this means they can sleep to acquire mutexes. AIUI, > the intended design is that most hard interrupts will do as little > work as possible and trigger a soft interrupt to do the rest; this > reduces the number of mutexes used from real interrupt handlers and > reduces the overall amount of spinning. I'm not entirely up on the > exact details at the moment and hopefully someone else will clarify if > there are questions. > >> (2) What happens when the interrupt handler cannot acquire the >> mutex? Will the LWP that holds it ever be able to run again? > > Define "cannot acquire". If the mutex is held by some thread on > another processor, the interrupt handler will spin until it's > released. If it's never released, the interrupt handler will spin > forever, but that's not supposed to happen. > > If the mutex is held by some thread on the same processor, then you're > deadlocked. This is why you have to disable interrupts before > attempting to get a spinlock that's used from an interrupt handler. > (Note: the exact details depend somewhat on the implementation. But > you don't want to be writing code that pushes the boundaries.) > >> (3) Will a LWP that holds a spin mutex be pre-empted by the scheduler? > > In general, that depends on the interrupt level associated with the > spin mutex. > > -- > David A. Holland > dholland%netbsd.org@localhost


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Untitled Fairy Tale Film, Disney +
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Untitled Fairy Tale Film, Disney +
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Olivia Cooke & LaKeith Stanfield In Talks To Star In Fairy Tale Film For Disney+
EXCLUSIVE: Disney picked up screenwriter Cat Vasko�s untitled fairy tale project, which is being developed by the parent company�s live-action film team for the Disney+ streaming platform set to launch later this year. To All the Boys I�ve Loved Before helmer Susan Johnson has closed her deal to direct the pic with Olivia Cooke and LaKeith Stanfield in talks to star.
Mad Chance executives Andrew Lazar and Ben Simpson are producing the project. Plot details remain unknown.
Cooke, perhaps best known for her role in A&E�s Bates Motel series, was one of the stars of the Steven Spielberg-directed sci-fi Ready Player One and toplined the dark comedy, Thoroughbreds. She next co-stars opposite John Boyega in the Scott Free-produced heist film, In Naked Singularity, Sound of Metal with Riz Ahmed, and Little Fish, a romance film which she is also serving as an executive producer.
Since his breakout performance in the indie pic, Short Term 12, Stanfield has kept the wheels turning with roles in titles such as Get Out, Straight Outta Compton, and the FX acclaimed series Atlanta. His forthcoming slate includes Universal�s rom-com, The Photograph, in which he stars opposite Issa Rae, Lionsgate�s Knives Out with Daniel Craig and Chris Evans, as well as A24�s Safdie brothers movie Uncut Gems.
Cooke is repped by CAA, Grandview, Shepherd Management, and Hansen, Jacobson, Teller, Hoberman. Stanfield is repped by CAA.
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Press Relese: Worrying Trends of Journalists Targeted for Covering Political Campaigns in Uganda (26.02.2016)
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Posted in Africa, Business, Civil Service, Development, Election, Ethics, Governance, Government, Law, Leadership, Media, Politics and tagged 2016 General Election, 2016 General Election Uganda, Ali Golooba, Amama Mbabazi, Arrest, Arua District, Arua One FM, Assault, Badru Kiggundu, Buddu FM, Bukedde TV, Bukoto South, Bulambuli, Confiscate, Daily Monitor, Delta TV, Denis Oluka, Destruction of Jounalistic Tools, District Council Elections, DPC Arua, DPC Kasangati, DPC Moroto, Dr Badru Kiggundu, Dr Badru M. Kiggundu, EC, EC Uganda, Eng. Dr. Badru M. Kiggundu, Erias Lukwago, Ernest Kyazze, FDC, Forum for Democratic Change, Fred Bwino Kyakulaga, Freedom, Gen. Kale Kayihura, Geroge Obia, Go Forward Ticket, Go-Forward, Go-Forward Group, Good governance, GoU, Government of Uganda, H. E. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, H.E. Yoweri Museveni, Hajj Muyanja Mbabali, Hon. Amama Mbabazi, HRNJ-Uganda, Human Rights, Human Rights Network for Journalist -Uganda, IEC, IEC Uganda, IGP Gen Kale Kayihura, IGP Kale Kayihura, Independent Electoral Commission, Independent Electoral Commission Uganda, Interference, Intimidation, Isaac Kugonza, Jakican Mungu, James Kawalya, John Patrick Amama Mbabazi, Jonathan Musinguzi, Journalist, JPAM, Juilius Ariongo, Kale Kayihura, Kampala, Kasangati, Kelvin Brown, Kelwin Brown Byaruhanga, Kigulu North, Kwalya, Latiff Maganda, Lord Mayor Erias Lukwago, Lt. Gen. Yoweri Kaguta Museveni., Lwengo, Margaret Kayondo, Masaka District, Mbale, Media Freedom, Media Houses, Mityana, Moroto, National Resistance Movement, National Security, NRM, NRM Candidates, NRM Regime, NRM Supporters, NTV, NTV Uganda, Police Interfers in Politics, Political Campaigns, President Museveni, Presidential Election 2016 Uganda, Radio North, Radio One, Returning Officer, Ronald Galinwango, Sarah Wekomba, Security, Sembabule District, Serana Hotel, Step Radio, TDA, TDA U, The Democratic Alliance, The Democratic Alliance Uganda, The Electoral Commission, The Electoral Commission of Uganda, Threats, UCC, Uganda, Uganda Communications Commission, Uganda EC, Uganda Electoral Commission, Uganda General Election 2016, Uganda Police Force, Uganda Presidential Election 2016, Uganda Radio Network, Unfair Regulations, URN, Vincent Mukisa, Violents, Wakiso, Wakiso District, Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, Yoweri Museveni | Leave a comment


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You may have heard that the new musical Murder for Two, now playing at the New World Stages, announced today that the production is now selling tickets through July. Take it from me, that's a good thing. I've seen the show twice, and I'm ready to go back for more. (Read my review.) The show is delightful, with a bouncy score and witty lyrics from a new writing team (Joe Kinosian, book and music, Kellen Blair, book and lyrics). The show also features crack comic direction by Scott Schwartz.
The show is a two-hander in which the performers not only play a large variety of characters, they also accompany each other, and sometimes themselves, on the piano. The two actors in question help make the show a delight, namely Brett Ryback as the "detective," and until recently the formidable Jeff Blumenkrantz playing all of the suspects. Author Joe Kinosian has stepped into the role, one which he played for an extended period during the show's extended Chicago run. Blumenkrantz was so iconic, so I'll be very interested to see Kinosian put his personal twist on the role.
If you haven't seen Murder for Two already, here's your chance. I have two tickets to see the show, and they can be yours if you answer the following five questions correctly. In the very likely event that there's more than one person who gets all of the questions right, I will randomly select a winner from all the correct responses. Please answer the questions via the comment function below. (Don't worry: I won't publish anyone's answers until after I select the winner.)
Good luck!
[The contest is now closed. The winner has been selected and notified. Thanks to all who entered. --C.C.]
1. Murder for Two features one performer who plays all of the murder suspects. Which currently running show contains a role in which a performer plays all of the murder victims?
2. In Murder for Two, when we discover who the real killer is, it's a pretty significant surprise. (In other words, I very much doubt that you'll see it coming.) Which other very recent, small-cast, Off-Broadway musical featured a murder for which the actual killer was kind of a shock?
3. Jeff Blumenkrantz has been a working performer in New York for many years, but he's also a successful composer and lyricist. In which short-lived musical did Blumenkrantz make his Broadway debut as a composer?
4. Scott Schwartz is no stranger to directing comic musicals. In which campy, Off-Broadway, bloodbath of a show did Schwartz make his New York City directorial debut?
5. Murder for Two played a previous engagement under he auspices Second Stage Theatre. Which other two-character musical recently enjoyed a revival at the venerable 2ST?


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DURHAM, N.C. (AP) Quinn Cook scored a career-high 27 points and No. 1 Duke held Clemson to its lowest-scoring half in 12 years in a 68-40 victory Tuesday night.
Ryan Kelly added 12 points in the first half but sat out the second with what team officials said was a right leg injury.
The Blue Devils (15-0, 2-0 Atlantic Coast Conference) shot 48 percent, built a 42-31 rebounding advantage and pulled away down the stretch to improve to 58-4 at home against the Tigers.
Devin Booker had 12 points and 15 rebounds for Clemson (8-6, 0-2), which had season lows for points and shooting percentage (28 percent) and shot 12 percent in its brutal first half.
The Tigers had just 10 points at halftime, their fewest since scoring nine against Wake Forest in 2001.
No. 10 MISSOURI 84, ALABAMA 68
COLUMBIA, Mo. (AP) - Jabari Brown had career-bests of 22 points and five 3-pointers and Phil Pressey responded from a shaky first half with 11 points and 13 assists to lead Missouri in its Southeastern Conference debut.
Trevor Releford had a career-best 26 points for Alabama (8-6, 0-1), which has lost six of eight. Coach Anthony Grant lost for the first time in seven career conference openers, three at VCU and four at Alabama.
Brown was 7 for 11 overall, three days after making only one of nine attempts in a two-point victory over Bucknell. The Oregon transfer has scored in double figures four of five games since becoming eligible at the semester break.
Earnest Ross added a season-best 19 points for Missouri (12-2, 1-0) and Alex Oriakhi helped the Tigers pull away with 10 of his 16 points over the final 11 minutes. He grabbed 11 rebounds.
No. 13 CREIGHTON 91, DRAKE 61
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) - Ethan Wragge matched career highs with 22 points and six 3-pointers for Creighton, which got off to a blistering start.
Doug McDermott added 16 points, Jahenns Manigat had 13 and Grant Gibbs 10 for the Bluejays (15-1, 4-0 Missouri Valley Conference), who won their ninth straight game.
Creighton has won 71 straight against opponents .500 or worse, and it was apparent early that the streak was in no jeopardy. The Bluejays, who made a season-high 16 3-pointers, led by 30 points in the first half and by 35 late in the second.
Joey King scored 17 points for Drake (6-9, 0-4).
Wragge, who had been averaging 9.0 points a game, went over 20 for the second time in three games.
No. 15 OHIO STATE 74, PURDUE 64
WEST LAFAYETTE, Ind. (AP) - Deshaun Thomas scored 22 points to lead Ohio State.
The Buckeyes (12-3, 2-1) rebounded from their first Big Ten loss by shooting 56.4 percent from the field. They took a 10-point halftime lead despite losing point guard Aaron Craft for all but 4:19 of the first half because of early foul trouble, and Buckeyes coach Thad Matta got his 100th Big Ten victory.
Ohio State has won four of the last five in this series and eight of their last 10 overall.
Purdue (7-8, 1-2) has lost two straight to Top 20 teams since upsetting No. 11 Illinois last week. The Boilermakers were led by the Johnson brothers, Terone, who had 18 points, and Ronnie, who had 11 points, six rebounds and seven assists. A.J. Hammons finished with 13 points and eight rebounds.
The Buckeyes took control with 13-2 and 9-0 runs in the first half.
PITTSBURGH 73, No. 19 GEORGETOWN 45
WASHINGTON (AP) - Talib Zanna scored 15 points and Pittsburgh shot 55 percent from the field.
Zanna went 7 for 9 from the field, Tray Woodall added 11 points and seven assists for the Panthers (13-3, 1-2), who dominated the Hoyas from the opening tip to bounce back from two Big East losses that knocked them out of the Top 25.
No player scored in double figures for the punchless Hoyas (10-3, 0-2), who shot 35 percent to lose by more than 20 points at home for the first time in 13 years. They have lost their first two Big East games for the first time since 2001-02.
Georgetown has failed to score at least 50 points four times this season, including a 49-48 loss at Marquette on Saturday.


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Lincoln Hotel
Lincoln Hotel
This is another postcard of the Lincoln Hotel, Lincoln, Neb.
- Private Collection
Home • Explore the City • Spatial Narratives • Interpretation and Narrative • Comments?
Guides and Resources • Archive of Documents • About the Project
Directed by Timothy R. Mahoney, Plains Humanities Alliance, in collaboration with the Center for Digital Research in the Humanities.
Funded by the Center for Digital Research in the Humanities, the Nebraska Humanities Council, and the Plains Humanities Alliance.
© 2007–2008, University of Nebraska–Lincoln


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Greg Sharpe on Iowa Loss, Bowl Possibilities for Nebraska Cornhuskers
With the 2013 regular season over for the Nebraska Cornhuskers, it's a time to reflect on the past and a time to speculate about the future for this 8-4 team.
Nebraska finished with quality road wins at Penn State and Michigan, but lost three times in Lincoln.
Injuries played a large part of the story with quarterback Taylor Martinez missing the entire second half of the season, and a number of players missing time on the offensive line.
There was an abundance of youth on defense, and at times that group showed improved maturity and at other times showed they are a work in progress.
Turnovers proved to be one of the biggest problem areas for Nebraska in 2013, and it was the turnover bug that helped Iowa win 38-17 in the regular season finale.
The Huskers gave the ball to Iowa on three different occasions, leading to 14 Hawkeye points.
Field position also was a key as Iowa started seven of their 15 drives on Nebraska's half of the field, while the Husker's average start came at its own 22.
Those have been all too familiar sights to see for the 'Voice of the Huskers' Greg Sharpe this season:
The Huskers did put a trio of players on the All-Big Ten Conference first team:
Junior running back Ameer Abdullah finished with 1,586 yards, the most of any Big Ten running back, and made a strong case for running back of the year in the conference:
Sophomore defensive lineman Randy Gregory had a breakthrough season, leading the Big Ten with 9 1/2 sacks, and finishing 2nd in the league with 15 1/2 tackles for loss:
Senior defensive back Ciante Evans tied for the team lead with 4 interceptions, and racked up 11 tackles for loss in his final season in a Nebraska uniform:
There was a lot of speculation about the future of Nebraska head coach Bo Pelini after the Iowa loss and his conduct on the sidelines, which resulted in an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and later a $10,000 fine for comments about the officials, but athletic director Shawn Eichorst ended that talk with the announcement that Pelini was returning to coach the Huskers next season:
Now the issue at hand for Nebraska is to find out where they're headed for a bowl game and who they'll play. The early projections have the Huskers either in Tempe, Arizona December 28th for the Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl against a team from the Big 12, or the January 1st Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, Florida against an opponent from the SEC:


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I like glitter gradients, and this one is a more subtle one, and looks more amazing, in my opinion, because the glitter lays flat. The polish itself is a mishmash of orange, green and whatever else Lynnderella threw in there -- this polish had a disclaimer stating every batch would be different because it would consist of whatever leftover glitters she had.
I remember this one garnering a bit of admiration even from those who aren't into polish :) Very pretty!
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