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Chemical weapons watchdog discusses Syria mission
THE HAGUE, Netherlands — The United States on Thursday criticized Syria for its slow pace in moving chemical weapons out of the country for destruction, ratcheting up pressure on President Bashar Assad to cooperate with an unprecedented international chemical disarmament mission.
Speaking in Warsaw, Poland, U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel said Damascus needs to speed up the operation, which already is well behind schedule.
"I do not know what the Syrian government's motives are, or if it was incompetence," he said.
"What we do know is they are behind," he added, and "they need to fix this."
At a meeting Thursday of the executive council of the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons in The Hague, U.S. representative Robert P. Mikulak said Syria has only moved around 4 percent of the most toxic chemicals in its stockpile. All of the most toxic chemicals were supposed to have been out of the country by Dec. 31.
Mikulak said the Syrian effort to move chemicals has "seriously languished and stalled."
In a note prepared last week for the behind-closed-doors meeting of the executive council, Director-General Ahmet Uzumcu said he spoke to U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on Jan. 18, "and they both agreed that it was necessary for the removal process to pick up pace."
Under a timeline drawn up last year, the most toxic chemicals in Syria's 1,300-metric-ton stockpile were to have been removed from the country by Dec. 31, but that deadline was missed due to poor security in war-torn Syria and other factors.
So far, just two small consignments of chemicals have been shipped out. One of the shipments came after Uzumcu's note was written.
Uzumcu said in the note that Syria had informed him of "certain security threats," but insists it is committed to removing the chemicals "as soon as possible." He did not elaborate on the nature of the threats.
An American ship, the MV Cape Ray, is on its way to the Mediterranean Sea to pick up the most toxic chemicals in Syria's stockpile, including mustard gas and raw materials for making sarin nerve agent.
The Cape Ray is equipped with two machines called Field Deployable Hydrolysis Systems that will mix the Syrian chemicals with water and a mixture of other chemicals in a titanium reactor to render them inert.
Danish and Norwegian cargo ships are picking up the Syrian chemicals from Latakia port and will transfer them to the Cape Ray in the Italian port of Gioia Tauro.
The OPCW is examining tenders from 14 private commercial chemical destruction companies bidding to eliminate less-toxic Syrian chemicals and waste generated by the Cape Ray. Germany also has said it will incinerate 370 tons of waste created when the Cape Ray neutralizes Syrian mustard gas.
But while the OPCW's preparations continue, the success of the mission is now largely dependent on Syria getting its chemicals to Latakia in the midst of a devastating civil war now in its third year.
While Hagel was critical of Damascus, he remained optimistic the chemical disarmament could still be completed by the end of June.
"We believe that this effort can continue to get back on track, even though we're behind schedule," Hagel said.


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subset: commoncrawl


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Welcome to the ongoing geeky adventures of the Craft Addict! Yes, more Dragoncon sewing but I think you'll like this one.
My lovely friend Meredith made a passing comment on the Book of Faces one day about sewing a Star Wars pin-up dress with some sheets she'd bought. The shop had recently gotten in some awesome Star Wars fabric so of course I had to use that comment as inspiration for my own geeky dress.
If you're going to be at a convention in Atlanta in the summer, a halter dress is pretty much going to be one of the most comfortable things you can wear. I am beyond happy with how this dress turned out, even though certain parts of it made me want to cuss.
The dress is a modified version of Simplicity 2401. I omitted the straps and lengthened the top of the bodice pieces to make a continuous strap around the back of the neck. I also added darts on the bodice sides to improve the fit of the "cups." But the biggest modification I made was one that could have been handled differently had I followed my own advice: Make a muslin.
To be fair, I did make a muslin of the bodice portion of the dress. Where I went astray was in thinking I didn't need to worry about the skirt. For some reason, I though the skirt was more of an A-line than it actually is — and that resulted in a too-tight dress that looked utterly awful on me.
Fortunately, I had just enough fabric left to cut a third panel for both the front and the back of the dress. After copious amounts of unsewing (including picking out serged seams), I inserted the panels, gathered the top of the skirt to the bodice and a new favorite dress was made. A petticoat underneath adds just the right amount of "oomph."
And did I mention it has pockets?
I've had some random invisible zipper issues with this dress and still need to rip out this zipper and install a new one (which will make the fourth one). But the fit is perfect and it's super comfortable, too. Not to mention super geeky.
My weekend wasn't just about wearing cool costumes, though. I also spent a few hours as a panelist with the Costuming Track. Let me tell you, it was one of the most awesome experiences ever. I sat on four different panels: Fabrics & Embellishments, Practical Costuming, From 2D to 3D, and Pattern Drafting Basics. Some of the coolest, most talented people imaginable were seated on those panels and dorky Mary was right there with them. It was surreal! I mean, it's not every day that you get to hang out with RJ Haddy of SyFy's Face Off. Well, maybe you do but I don't. And the room was so full for most of my panels. I wasn't really paying attention (I was trying to make sure I stayed on topic!) but my awesome Honey did and he was impressed with the crowds.
So many people came up to me during the course of the weekend to tell me how much they enjoyed the panels or thank me for some bit of information I passed on. It just really blew me away. Honestly, I am so lucky to be able to do what I do and getting the chance to pass that along to other people is one of my favorite parts of my job.
Of course, bumping into Dean Cain at Starbucks and having him tell you the Supergirl costume you made your daughter is great is pretty cool, too.
Yep, Dragoncon was pretty awesome this year.


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BEMIDJI, Minn. – Submissions are now being accepted for the 2009 edition of "Dust and Fire: Women's Stories," published by Bemidji State University. Entries will be accepted until Friday, Aug. 15, for the 23rd annual anthology, which will be published in March of 2009.
"Dust & Fire" accepts writing and art from women residing in Minnesota or its contiguous states and provinces. Submissions are encouraged from emerging and practicing writers or artists from a diversity of ethnic backgrounds.
Writers may submit up to three typed works, no longer than 1,200 words each, with each work clearly marked as memoir, poetry, narrative, journal, short story, essay or other form. Visual artists may forward up to three submissions of prints, paintings, charcoal or pencil drawings. Art must be black and white camera-ready pieces or high quality slides. Works can be no larger than 8×10 inches.
A submission form is required, and is available online at http://www.bemidjistate.edu/academics/publications/dust_and_fire or by calling (218) 755-3355. No electronic submissions will be accepted in any category.
All submissions, which will be acknowledged, must include a 50-70 word biographical statement, including name, mailing address, phone number and e-mail address if available. Artists must include return packaging and postage or state that the work may be discarded. Writing manuscripts will not be returned. A panel will review submissions and announce selections in late December.
Dust & Fire is sponsored by the women's studies program and the Department of English at Bemidji State University.
Submissions may be sent to Dust & Fire, English Department, Hagg-Sauer Hall #23, Bemidji State University, 1500 Birchmont Drive NE, Bemidji, MN 56601-2699. For additional information, please call (218) 755-3355.
About Dust & Fire
The 22 years of Dust & Fire anthologies hold the strong voices of many women and each year expands the treasury of their stories. The first volume was published by Bemidji State University's Women's Resource Center in 1987 under the editorship of Kristine Cannon. It was called Women's Stories Must Be Told, promising a place where women could share their work with others.
It has kept its promise. For two decades women have sent their words "from the tongue of dust and fire" to be collected and passed around the waiting circle. Over time, Dust & Fire has evolved and gained strength. After six years it honored Minnesota writer and activist, Meridel LeSueur, as a mentor to women writers and used her words for a new title, Dust & Fire. A new editor, Helen Bonner, guaranteed the original intent of the anthology remained true – to honor women's expressions of their life experiences. In 1997 the editors expanded this expression to include art by women, and in 2000 they began two new traditions: awards for submissions and the inclusion of students on the editorial board.


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On August 17, 1759, Cumberland County, Nova Scotia was created. It will be celebrating this event by holding a Genealogy Weekend at the Wandlyn Inn in Amherst from August 14th to the 16th.
Some of the biggest names in Nova Scotia genealogy will be there. Terry Punch will be there talking about Pre-Famine Irish immigration to Nova Scotia; Bill Hamilton will talk about Cumberland Loyalists; Ronnie-Gilles LeBlanc will speak about Acadian Families of Cumberland County; and David Lambert, a genealogist with the New England Historic Genealogical Society, has roots in Cumberland County (Lambert and Clarks families) and he will talk about the use of DNA in genealogy.
On Sunday, there will be a number of tours around the Amherst area on Sunday including a tour of Parrsboro and Joggins, a tour around Nothumberland Shore, and one to the southern part of New Brunswick, which was part of Cumberland County when it was formed in 1759.
These tours will let you see where all the history happened that you have learned about during the lectures. Each tour will be accompanied by genealogists and historians.
You can get in touch with them at <email@example.com> or visit the website at <www.cumberland250.ednet.ns.ca>.


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Patrick Davison, WhatWeKnowSoFar/MemeFactory.
Patrick Davison is from Atlanta, Georgia but lives in Brooklyn, New York where he is pursuing a PhD in media studies from the Media, Culture, and Communication department of NYU. He makes performance work as WhatWeKnowSoFar, writes and performs MemeFactory, and does research with the Web Ecology Project. He has spoken at ROFLcon, Ignite New York, Yale, NYU, and Social Media Week (Sao Paulo).
Ally Parker
Kaitlin Pike
(415) 947-6306
View a complete list of Web 2.0 Expo contacts.


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Season 11 Episode #1124
Sculptor Tomasz Misztal; Storyteller Ed Edmo; Swing Papillon music video
This video is not currently available. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Segments in this Episode
Oregon Art Beat
Storyteller Ed Edmo
Ed Edmo, a storyteller, playwrite and poet, passes his craft to the next generation.
Oregon Art Beat
Sculptor Tomasz Misztal
We follow Tomasz Misztal as he creates a beautiful altar piece for a new church in Bend.
Oregon Art Beat
Swing Papillon music video
Get a sneak peek at the gypsy jazz music of quartet Swing Papillon.
All Season 11
Blastolene Brothers; Ceramicist Sue Orlaske; Rose City Conductors Workshop (1128)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1128
Original Broadcast: June 10, 2010
Chamber Music NW Young Artists; Mask Maker Debra Fisher; Mike Leckie Update; Sculptor Samuel Hinds (1127)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1127
Original Broadcast: June 3, 2010
Bluesman Joe McMurrian; Actress Catherine Coulson; Mixed Media Artist Chris Giffin (1125)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1125
Original Broadcast: May 13, 2010
Sculptor Tomasz Misztal; Storyteller Ed Edmo; Swing Papillon music video (1124)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1124
Original Broadcast: May 6, 2010
Composer Ernest Bloch; Crafting; Painter Deb Otterstein (1123)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1123
Original Broadcast: April 29, 2010
Chien Tan; Oaks Bottom Mural; Sculptor Katy McFadden (1122)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1122
Original Broadcast: April 15, 2010
Coronas Artist Eva Castellenoz; Printmaker Denise Kester; Rumbanana (1121)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1121
Original Broadcast: April 8, 2010
JD Kindle & the Eastern Oregon Playboys; James Lavadour Update; Sculptor Beth Heron (1120)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1120
Original Broadcast: April 1, 2010
Kanaan Kanaan; OSF 75th Anniversary Review; Painter Jennifer Mercede (1119)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1119
Original Broadcast: March 25, 2010
Ceramicist Richard Rowland; Horse Feathers; Painter William Park (1118)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1118
Original Broadcast: March 18, 2010
Choreographer Erin Shannon; Megaband; Painter Susan Luckey Higdon (1117)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1117
Original Broadcast: February 25, 2010
Irish Dance Update; Leah Wingfield & Steve Clements; Metalsmith Kristin Mitsu Shiga (1116)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1116
Original Broadcast: February 18, 2010
Filmmaker Kelley Baker; Koto Musician Mitsuki Dazai; Painter Felicia Capuia (1115)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1115
Original Broadcast: February 11, 2010
Abstract Painter Carolyn Cole; Author and Basket Weaver Mary Schlick; Shanghai Woolies (1114)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1114
Original Broadcast: February 4, 2010
Jennifer Doheny; Painter Chris Haberman; Stolen Sweets (1113)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1113
Original Broadcast: January 28, 2010
Dave Frishberg; Duck Stamps Contest; Maude Kerns Art Center (1112)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1112
Original Broadcast: January 21, 2010
Dancer and Choreographer Tere Mathern; Painter Gwenn Seemel; Rug Weaver Kim Morris (1111)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1111
Original Broadcast: January 14, 2010
Bas Relief Artist Maria Simon; Jazz Singer Shirley Nanette; Wood Sculptor Philip Clausen (1110)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1110
Original Broadcast: January 7, 2010
Nutcracker Kids; Painter Tom Browning; Thom Bray, actor and educator (1109)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1109
Original Broadcast: December 17, 2009
Charlie Reynolds; Leroy Setziol; Quilter Mary Catherine Lamb (1108)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1108
Original Broadcast: November 26, 2009
Ceramicist Babette Harvey; Christmas Revels; Painter Sarkis Antikajian (1107)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1107
Original Broadcast: November 19, 2009
Ceramicist Lee Kitzman; Deborah Horrell; Illustrator Dick Wiley (1106)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1106
Original Broadcast: November 12, 2009
Illustrator Johanna Wright; Jazz Singer Rebecca Kilgore; Metal Sculptor Greg Wilbur (1105)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1105
Original Broadcast: November 5, 2009
Celtic Musician Hanz Araki; Milagro Theater; Sculptor and Painter Jennifer Kenworth (1104)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1104
Original Broadcast: October 29, 2009
Hat Maker Gene Baldwin; Kids Ballroom; Lifecasting Artist Peny Wallace (1103)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1103
Original Broadcast: October 22, 2009
OBT's Artur Sultanov; Sculptor Kenneth Standhardt; Woodworker Karl Burkheimmer (1102)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1102
Original Broadcast: October 15, 2009
Painter Lucinda Parker; Painter Paul Missal; Painter Ty Ennis (1101)
Oregon Art Beat: Episode #1101
Original Broadcast: October 8, 2009
Program Funding Provided By:
The Harold & Arlene Schnitzer CARE Foundation Endowed Fund for Excellence
Robert D. and Marcia H. Randall Charitable Trust, Fund for Lifelong Learning
Kay Kitagawa and Andy Johnson-Laird
The Roundhouse Foundation
Additional Support Provided By:
Lee and Marcia Stevenson


text: Proposing Part 1: Why you should propose to your boyfriend #Relationship Advice#feminism#proposing Updated Jan 12 2017 (Posted Jan 5 2009) Ariel arielmstallings Will You Marry Me Vintage Silverware Hand Stamped Sugar Spoon by AnvilDesigns One of the things I learned from my reader survey was how many of you identified yourselves as "ladies in waiting," i.e. women biding their time until their boyfriends propose. Well, girls: STOP WAITING! If you're into questioning traditions, start by questioning the very first assumption about weddings: that a woman's role is waiting for a man to pick her. I know: it's scary right? You're thinking, "What if he says no?" Well, no one said taking your life by the reins would be easy, and the anxieties and fears of rejection that come up around proposing give you great insight into some of the cultural pressures men traditionally experience. Proposing is definitely scary, and I'm speaking from personal experience here. As those of you who've read my book know, I actually proposed to Andreas … On our third anniversary, we went to this pottery painting place. As I'd planned, I painted a big plate with a picture of us holding hands. (Yes, we were naked in the painting. I like painting butts!) Above the little people, I painted the words "Psst: will you marry me?" Then I put my grandmother's diamond wedding ring onto the plate and slid it across the table to Andreas. He looked at the plate. He looked up at me. I looked at him. Nothing happened. "…Well, will you?" I said. "Of course!" he said, and I exhaled in relief. "…But you don't mean, like, IMMEDIATELY, right?" he said. "I mean, of course we're spending the rest of our lives together. But there's no rush, right?" "Er, I guess not…" I said. "Awesome!" he said. "I love you!" And then he went back to painting. I sat and freaked out a bit, but nothing had really changed: we were still just as committed and someday we would get married. Just not quite yet, evidently. "No rush," in our case, meant getting married three years later. Grab the traditional institution of marriage by the balls and tell it that you're doing this on your terms and in your own way. This is all to say that I know that it's scary and intimidating and hard. (It should be noted that Andreas has expressed feeling sort of bad for how he handled the proposal. I mean, it all worked out ok, but it wasn't the stuff of swelling violins and magical twinkly lights.) Of course not all men want to be proposed to, and you know your boyfriend best … I'm thinking that chances are good that if he loves you for being a sassy independently-minded offbeat girlfriend, he's the kind of guy who would appreciate tipping an old tradition on its ear. When you propose to your boyfriend, you're taking a huge first step toward grabbing the traditional institution of marriage by the balls and telling it that you're doing this on your terms and in your own way. It's an exercise in taking ownership of your life and your journey through it. It's your way of saying, "I'm not going to drop hints to get what I want — I'm going to apply that energy to building the courage to do it myself." This isn't just about proposals. It's about knowing what you want and feeling strong enough in yourself to just go get it. Related Post Proposing Part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend Last week's Why you should propose to your boyfriend post was a big hit, so I'm continuing on with Part 2: HOW to propose to... Read more This isn't to say that it's not a wonderful thing when men propose. Ideally, any proposal is the result of many conversations about what marriage means to both you, why you're committed to each other, etc. It should never really be "popping the question." But if you've had conversations about commitment and you're ready to get married — STOP WAITING! Read part 2: How to propose to your boyfriend Ariel Author of three editions of the Offbeat Bride book and the forthcoming From Shitshow To Afterglow, Ariel Meadow Stallings acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing books, chances are good that she's dancing or happy-crying. She writes weekly essays for her new publication, The Afterglow. PREVIOUS Naomi & Casey's punk rock Iowa wedding NEXT Patricia & Christiaan's Intimate Outdoor Family Fun-Day Wedding Show/Hide comments [ 170 ] In theory, I agree entirely. In practice, there are varying levels of offbeatness in any relationship – I've always been pretty stridently feminist and unique in my gender and relationship ideals. And although he's the most caring, genuine-equality-treating man (or woman) I've ever dated, he's also Southern and only slowly openning up to more lefty self-identification. Frankly, it's not the titles that are inportant but how you're treated (and my male "feminist" ex was a total ass.) So we work to balance the things that are important to each other: I didn't want a ring, but it's important to him, so I made him agree to recycled metals and no diamonds (and also to wearing an e-ring himself!). I'm ready to get married but not bothered with waiting, so I'll wait till he's ready to propose. And in this case, his age and Southern background mean a more traditional proposal process. Since we're certain on the life-partner front, I'm willing to wait and smile when I recieve a ring and bended knee proposal. Reply Being a lady-in-waiting isn't all bad. I guess I feel a little defensive about this because it came up in a comment I made about the changes being made to the site here. I'm the breadwinner of our family, and the cook. As far as we're concerned, we're "married in Kansas already" (since they have common-law marriage and we plan to make it official next time we go home) but to my Bear, it's important to keep some things egalitarian, and not swing the pendulum too far the other way… he wants to do something special to propose "officially" and I refuse to take that from him. "Sometime this year" now that it's 2009, and he's been saving for a while and wants to take a trip to Montana to mine our own sapphires for our engagement rings and swords, we'll have our "official" engagement. So yes, we're planning, and I'm waiting, and I think it's beautiful, and nothing to be sad about. I don't want anyone feeling sad for me because I'm planning and not "officially engaged." If anything, I'm a little saddened that in a place I felt it was safer than most to be in this position, there's pressure to "just do it already" myself, or to be different, but in a certain way. I liked that reading your book, Ariel, and your blog, and being a part of the OBBT made me feel like I was among a smaller but supportive group than the traditional WIC. I hope that doesn't change – creation of an Offbeat Wedding Industrial Complex just adds a letter to an already uncomfortable acronym. Reply I asked my guy what he would say if I proposed. He said he would say no! I'm pretty sure he said that because he knew that I really wanted him to propose to me. I was patient. I waited. And he finally proposed while on vacation in Mexico and we got married in August. 🙂 Reply Oh, I'm so glad you wrote about this. I was really thinking about this when people were commenting that they couldn't buy the book because they were waiting to get engaged. The waiting message over and over again seemed weird. In our case I was ready before he was ready… so I needed to give him space and time to get ready, so he did the asking. Of course, by that point, many a discussion had been had, and rings had even been looked at. That was how we knew we were really ready 🙂 Great great post. And I too love the plate. Reply This is my first comment on OBB and I just wanted to say, Fuck Yeah! I proposed to my boyfriend last month with vampire rings (although I considered doing it with jelly ones from a vending machine). A lot of people were confused and apprehensive, as if I had somehow committed sacrilege, but Boy was so happy. I think he still might propose to me with a more traditional ring at a later time, I'm more than happy when I tell people I'm engaged to show them our interlocking teeth rings 😀 Reply I proposed … twice. Once, years ago, as a lark (via email) and again, the weekend before Thanksgiving (2008.) The second time, I was serious and heartfelt. He said yes. Since I was the one who freaked out every time the "m-word" even came out, it seemed appropriate that I should be the one to propose. It was worth the risk and stress and pit-of-stomach knot to see his face light up with delight when, after my rambling and hesitation-filled speech, I finally got to the question. Reply Liz: I think your situation sounds lovely! Waiting for your man to propose because you love and respect him and his desire to do something special for you – that's just as offbeat as any other proposal here. You're not a lady-in-waiting because it's what tradition dictates, you're waiting because it's what YOU want and have decided is best for you as a couple. Reply I am one of the ladies-in-waiting from the survey, and you know, I am happy with that. You see, all my guy friends tell me that "you don't propose unless you are SURE the girl will say yes", and while I know i am ready to say yes, I also know he isn't. Once I know he is ready to say yes I am more than happy to ask (have the cuff links ready and waiting and everything), but I am hoping he asks first, because I want the proposal, and I am not ashamed of that either. Reply I proposed to my fiance — but I chose to do it several months after he first proposed to me. He proposed to me on New Year's Eve 2007 and I went to study abroad two weeks later. When he came to visit me in London for 10 days, I wanted to make it extra-special and to take an opportunity to give a long and romantic schpeil of my own. I even got him an engagement ring with a small diamond embedded in the band. He may not remember the name of the bridge we were sitting on when I whipped it out and kneeled before him, but he'll always remember the way my eyes sparkled when he said yes. Reply I proposed to my FH on Valentine's Day last year. Yes, it was completely cheesy, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.. it was just so us 🙂 . I cooked us a nice dinner at home, bought him a ring, and we had a nice candle light dinner. Even though I ended up burning our dessert AND spilling my wine because I was so nervous, it was a funny story to tell our family later. He's super shy, so I knew that he'd take FOREVER if I didn't just go for it. He bought be a ring in 2007, but he never really asked, so I just made it official. Now I wear his ring (it didn't fit) on my right hand, and my ring on my left 🙂 Reply We had been talking about getting married for years, and he always said that he wanted to be the one to propose, so I let him, and he took his sweet ass time doing it too! Seriously, it look nearly 3 years after he first said he would until he finally did it, but it turns out he wasn't ready to be married when I was, and looking back I guess trying to get a 17 then 18 then 19 when he proposed year old guy to settle down, even someone like him, was alot to ask. Especially considering the huge chore taking care of my crippled ass for the rest of my life will be, I'm glad I didn't propose cause he needed to be ready, and he would have said yes just because I asked, not because he was ready. When he realised that taking care of me was a small price to be with me, he was ready, and I'm glad I didn't take that away from him. Reply PS, althought I did give him a little wooden heart with "yes" on it in a ring box a year or 2 before he proposed, he still keeps it in his car 😀 Reply Color me shocked. My boyfriend comes from a very closed minded family and he has pretty traditional beliefs. I assumed that he would be weirded out by having the woman ask, but tonight over dinner I asked him his thoughts on it. He thought for a moment and said, "That wouldn't bother me." I also assured him I wouldn't be doing that but I was curious about his open-mind. I love him even more knowing that he wouldn't care if it were something I really wanted to do. Reply Totally hearing what you're saying about communication. My girlfriend and I (we're both girls, btw) had talked over marriage and indeed even wedding planning loads of times during our relationship before we got engaged. I waited for her to propose – but only because I'd realised that she wanted to find a great moment and propose, and I thought it sounded sweet. (She ended up asking me one Friday night in our local Indian restaurant – just after we'd been talking about where we fancied getting married, hilariously enough. She changed the subject, then snuck a proposal in. Then we had some Cobra beer.) Different arrangements suit different couples, but what's struck me really powerfully is that the straight couples I know where the girl is waiting and anxious about it, one or both of the couple is a bit of a non-talker. Compulsively talking over everything, the way my future wife and I do, of course isn't always great and can bring its own problems. But I've definitely noticed in my own engagement that issues a couple or a person has that come to a head about marriage are usually issues that are already around in the relationship. Reply My sweetie and I got engaged at least twice, and possible three (four?) times. I proposed to him while riding bikes up a mountain. I said, "do you think we should get married?" He said, "are you asking?" I replied, "Yes I am, will you marry me?" Happily, the answer was yes. But he's got a traditional streak, this one. He insisted on asking my dad for his permission. This meant waiting two months after my proposal, flying across the country, and a nerve-wracking evening that ended fantastically with many beers drunk and songs sung. The next day, I jumped off a friend's boat into a sparkly lake, and a ring box bobbed up. It was his turn to ask, and my turn to reply! Later that day I called his mom to ask for his hand, and I had barely finished asking before she yelled "yes, yes, hooray!" down the line. I love our many engagement stories, and I'm looking forward to some equally anachronistic wedding stories. Life is what you make it! Reply We'd talked about getting married LONG before I finally said, "Okay, let's just do it then!" In fact, we bought a house together over a year before deciding that we would just get married. In our case, we were on an all-day hike in the Black Hills, midway through a 10 day road trip. I asked, he was picking his nose, and made me ask again. It would never occur to me to wait around until he got me some ring that he couldn't afford on his grad student stipend, or think of some elaborate setup. In fact, we'd spent the previous few months thinking of all of the worst ways we could possibly propose to one another, because that's just the kind of jerks we are! Reply Last year on New Year's Eve our resolution was to get married and have a baby. Well, as it happened, I got pregnant really easily. Having never tried before, I didn't know how fast it would happen! I'm due in February-one month to go-PHEW! So rather than getting me an engagement ring, we joked that we got an "engagement baby" instead. We did go ahead and get legally married by a Justice of the Peace downtown because that was important to our moms, but the "real" WEDDING is set for this March so that friends and relatives who travel to be a part of our wedding will also get to meet the new baby. I will say that planning a wedding while both working full time, working on a baby room ,raising his son (from a previous marriage-all while being heavily pregnant is kind of an ordeal-but it's really fun, too. So nobody really proposed to anybody. We just talked about it, said "hey, let's do this" and now we're making it happen! Yay! And this year on New Year's Eve we got to bask in the joy of having achieved last year's resolutions! Reply I, too, proposed to my boyfriend. October 17, 2008. We had discussed it over and over, but I was just kind of hanging out and waiting. My best friend and I were talking about it one day and she jokingly said, "I'm surprised YOU haven't popped the question." We initially laughed and then I stopped, and thought, "Yeah… why HAVEN'T I done that???" It's just so… ME. So I went to a local jeweler, had them engrave a compass with "She Asked. He Said Yes. 2008" That was his engagement "ring", so to speak. I popped the question after dinner. And, he did in fact say, "YES!" We're getting married on 10/10/10 🙂 I've never been so proud of myself or more courageous. It's a scary thing, for sure. Reply For me, when I made a comment stating I was waiting to buy the book until I was engaged, or had a conversation about seriously getting married, I simply meant until one of us had proposed or we both had the conversation. I've only been with my partner for about 3 months. While I find him completely amazing and at this point want to be with him for as long as possible, I don't feel ready to propose or to have him propose, or to have a serious conversation yet! But with so many of my close friends engaged (I have an engagement party to go to this Sunday and a roommate that asks me a new question about planning her wedding every night when I come home) I can't help but day dream about my own wedding! PS I gave my roommate OBB for Christmas and I'm giving the other newly engaged couple OBB on Sunday! 🙂 Reply For us, I had considered proposing, mostly out of impatience, but in the end held off because he really wanted to propose. To him, this was something he thought about growing up, how he might propose, and it was a big deal to him. I grew up with parents who never had a big fancy proposal (meaning dad slipped and said "when we're married" and that was that). Because of this, I let him have it his way. But I do think that I was the first one to say that I wanted to be his wife. 🙂 Reply When I proposed, it was supposed to be a complete surprise. We'd been together almost 9 years and I'd always said that I'd marry him if I was allowed to have my own apartment. We had shared bank accounts and plans to have kids, but I wasn't interested in marriage. Then, a switch flipped and I decided I'd ask him on his birthday. When the champagne came out at the end of our fancy dinner and I stopped him from taking a sip by saying that I wanted to say something, he said, "what, are you going to ask me to marry you?" He's pretty proud of himself that he had me figured out. Since he's generally the more romantic, effusive one, I think he liked that I took control of this situation. Reply A friend of ours was recently asked by his girlfriend and he was thrilled – when I brought the subject up with my beloved – he was less than thrilled. While, at first I was incensed and full of "don't you think women equally have a say in whether or not they want to get married?" – He explained his reasoning this way. While many young women "dream" of their future wedding planning it out down to the last detail, what boys think about is how they will propose. For him this was a traditional role that he has thought about and wants to do right. He still hasn't proposed, and I still may, but if he isn't ready to ask, then I'm not sure I'm ready to answer. I like previous posts that talk about how when one of you is ready – they should ask. If I get there before him – I'll definately keep my option to do the asking open. Reply I asked my husband first. I spelled out "Marry Me?" on gingerbread cookies christmas 2006. He kind of freaked out, and said "he'd think about it." Fast forward one year to 2007, he proposed at his comedy troupe's December show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vi7wBlee9E Reply Speaking of your book, I just ordered in on Amazon with some Christmas money. I bought a used version in "New condition". I opened it today, and it's an autographed copy! I had no idea. Hooray! Can't wait to read it! Reply Megan, that's hilarious — I'm guessing I know where those books came from. 🙂 I did a book event in Vancouver BC, and spent the entire day promoting the event with two tv appearances and a radio interview. The bookstore owner who'd organized the event had ordered a TOOOOOON of books anticipating a huge crowd from all the publicity. He had me sign all 50 books, and then maybe 10 people showed up (HELLO, DEPRESSING) and even better? They were all my friends! And some of them already had books. So poor bookstore owner sold almost no books, and had a huge pile of signed ones that he probably eventually returned to the publisher for resale. In fact, your book may be in this photo, taken that night: Reply My Mother Proposed to my father and then the day before the wedding my father proposed to my mother. the 27/12/08 was their 24th wedding anniversary. My parents have had quite an "offbeat" marriage. I didnt realise that until last year when my friend and i were browsing this site and she mentioned how traditional her parents had been. I'd like to think when it comes time i'll propose…I'd like to propose and be proposed to I think haha Reply I like the idea of the girl asking, and my boyfriend loves me for being offbeat and independent, but he's told me that he won't let me propose because he's been planning how he's going to do it since soon after we started dating (we're both in college still so it makes sense to wait). I find it really romantic that he wants to sweep me off my feet with a proposal, and I know that he's not doing it out of tradition at all, he just loves the shmooze 🙂 Reply I'm with a couple other people here, waiting, and I'm fine with waiting for him to ask, because I'm ready and he's not. We've been together almost 10 years, we've talked about marriage often, he knows it's something important to me, and at this point the only fears he has are his own hang-ups about marriage, not of me saying no. So when he asks, it's like him saying "Yeah, I've worked through that stuff and I'm ready now." So that's why it's important to me that he asks, otherwise I'd have done it like four years ago! I really wish it was as easy a problem to fix as just me asking! Right now, I'm just focusing on supporting him in any way I can while he works through what he needs to. Reply When my then-boyfriend went on a two week vacation to Scotland with his uncle I was left with a lot of time on my hands to think. In that time I realized that of course, I had to marry him. I planned on talking about it with him when he got home, but not right away. I picked him up at the airport, brought him home, fed him, got into bed and all my patience flew out the window. I started talking about how I had missed him and how glad I was to have him back home. And told him that I just HAD to marry him and would he please marry me. He didn't quite get it at first and said, of course, someday. That made me tear up a little and then he suddenly realized that I meant it as an ass-backwards proposal. He said "yes, yes of course!" and then we hugged a long, long hug and started making goofy plans well into the night. It was awesome. He wanted in on some of the tradiation so the next day he got me a stand-in ring at the mall and proposed to me that night. We then spent the next several weeks popping the question to eachother at random times. Perhaps I'll ask him again tonight….. If you have found the right person to spend your life with, it doesn't matter who does the asking. Go for it, ladies! Reply I smiled so wide to think of you two randomly popping the question many times over the next several weeks 😀 Congratulations! Reply I'm doing it. I've decided! I posted earlier about being conflicted, but we are both ready and life is too short, right? We're big travelers and are living overseas right now (he moved halfway around the world for me, that's commitment!) So I was thinking of getting a pewter compass engraved with "No matter where we go, you are always home to me. Will you marry me?" I gave him a ring with "you are home to me" a couple of years ago, and he wears it everyday. It is a line from one of our favorite love songs. Reply i proposed to my fiance, and he didn't mind at all! he was surprised but he loved it 🙂 Reply I've been thinking for a while about proposing. I have always joked that I would be the one to ask, since he's kind of the absent minded professor type, and hate to decide anything. I don't want to get him a ring, but I want to get him something! and I want to wait till may 1, which is one of our special days, but that is months away! Not sure I can wait that long! But I do feel much better about it after reading all of your great stories. Reply Sounds really utopian, but I know that my guy would not want this. He'd probably be mad at me, though I am getting impatient with him. We have talked about marriage so much it's ridiculous. We know that we want to be together, and there is a family situation that makes things complex, but we still want a life together. Unfortunately for me, I will have to be a "lady in waiting" because I know he won't like it. He does like the fact that I'm very independent, but he has already told me that he loves it when I need him. Taking the "tradition" away from him wouldn't be a good idea for me. I wish! Otherwise I'd do it, but I'm almost certain he'd say something like "Not yet", which would just break my heart and make it worse. End result? Still waiting, so there's no point. Reply I proposed to my fiance. We've also both getting engagement rings soon (because we didn't have them at the actual proposal). We were already "committed" to marriage, but we weren't officially engaged. When I asked him later if he was bummed he didn't get to pop the question…err…statement, he was more relieved than anything else. Reply […] help, Ariel on Offbeat Bride posted this little nugget in a two part series (pt 1 : pt 2) on proposing to yer man: I know: it's scary right? You're thinking, "What […] Reply […] at Offbeat Bride, has a post called Proposing Part 1: Why you should propose to your boyfriend. As the title suggests, she was the one to propose to her husband. Sort of… On our third […] Reply My fiance and I have quite the love story behind us and so after we finally got together getting married was never a question but simply a fact. So we've talked through planning of all different sorts and his family is very traditional and mine is not. After stumbling upon OBB, my mindset completely changed. I now view my wedding as a blank canvas waiting to be painted. I was almost firmly against having a traditional wedding. Because he is in the military and is currently stationed overseas, it's a little tough to get everyone together for a huge family wedding. So we've decided that having two weddings would work out wonderfully. After dinner one evening we went to the bridge to people watch. We had just watched the cutest old couple walk past and it was then that I leaned in for a kiss and asked him to marry me instead. He stared at me in disbelief, his expression said "Did that really just happen?". After it finally sunk in he shouted "YES! Of course!" I figured it only appropriate since we would be having our offbeat wedding first where I could implement my hearts every desire. =) As happy as he was that I proposed, he shared that he's been planning my proposal since we got together. I told him it wasn't too late, so when we decide to have our traditional wedding in front of everyone, he'll be the one to ask the question and have most of the say in the traditional wedding planning. =) Reply wow clark, definitely got me choked up!! lucky man. Reply So…when a girl proposes to there guy, does the girl buy the ring for the guy? I seen in a previous post where the girl proposed with a ring for her. So, would I pay for my ring and he would pay for his? Hmmm…I think the girl proposing is a GREAT idea but I was just unsure. Any feed back would be helpful! Thanks! Reply I'd love to propose to my guy; but he's already told me that if I did, he'd say no. He certainly loves me for being off beat (he knows I will be keeping my name, and not wearing a veil, and we've talked about him being the stay-at-home dad with the future kiddos) but the proposal is really important to him. Also, I'm something of a junky for surpsises, so it just makes sense. It's not a matter of if, but when for us. We've been together for over 5 years, but we're only 24 and so we've decided to wait until we're older and more financially stable. This was a mutual decision on our parts, but (as you can tell from the fact that I am reading OBB) part of me is a wee bit impatient. Reply I proposed using fridge magnets when he was making dinner, then scuttled off to wait for him to discover them… Needless to say, he didn't notice instantly and given I was a *teensy* bit edgy, I then firmly instructed him to look at the fridge. He said yes (using fridge magnets) and a year and an half later, the evidence is still there for all to see! Reply Both me and mine are offbeat for sure, and I had gotten out of a bad relationship 6 months before I met him. Then, just as I thought my world was beginning to right itself, the bad relationship reared it's ugly head again and my hun has been there for me through thick and thin, helping deal with the bad relationship strings. (My ex filed for divorce in our state because we live in a state that recognizes common law marriage. And we have kids together.) I used to have panic attacks at him calling me his fiance in public and with our friends, so I got ther balls one day to tell him that he could only call me his fiance if he managed to pin me to the ground long enough to put a ring on my finger. Lo and behold, he managed! So while we were out ring shopping one day, we were at the mall with the kids, and everybody got hungry, so we went to taco bell. We got our food, and grabbed some sauce packets, and while we were quietly eating, both he and I tossed a sauce packet at each other….. one that said "will you marry me?"! Now I've got a scrapboook page with two taco bell sauce packets on it! I love it, because nobody knows that day quite like we do! Reply My fiance is offbeat, its what drew me to him. And vice versa. He asked me to marry him rather inpromptu, against the fridge while we were bringing in the groceries lol, so we decided to buy rings for each other and then he'd ask me again 'properly'. I had the ring on layby and I paid it off and got it engraved, but I didn't tell him I had it. I'd worked hard to get it paid off before his birthday so I could propose to him too. I asked just as it turned midnight on the eve of his birthday, and he cried and was absolutely stunned and happy, it was just so amazing. Its one of my fondest memories of that time, but anyone I tell just respons with how odd it is and wasn't that rude or arrogant to ask the man? It makes me sad, because it was such a sweet moment in our history that he loved me for. And when it comes to love, there are no rules… or at least, there shouldn't be. Reply i proposed to my boyfriend completely out of the blue!! ack!! he said yes, double ack!! we have been on/off for 8 years, and i finally asked him if he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. he said "i do", and so a few minutes later i asked him if he would marry me, and he said yes. yay 😀 to be fair, i told him i knew he wanted to ask me, and that i wouldn't consider it "official" until he asked me as well, not because he's the guy, but because i want us both to have a say in it. so we're half way there 😀 Reply After we had both been in previous long term relationships, I decided after a year I had found the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. Yes I always wanted the surprise of being proposed to, but I wasn't willing to wait anymore. So I plan a full night of romance and proposed to him on our 1 year anniversary, complete with a custom made ring, which his best friend designed. After the shock wore off, he said yes, but that he wanted to propose to me as well. Finally 6 months later, after getting into a big fight of when he was going to give me my ring, he managed to catch me off guard and proposed back to me in the most beautiful surprising way. While growing up, the only thing I ever wanted out of a proposal was a one hell of a story, now I have two! Reply After reading the few and limited advice columns and especially THIS POST, i decided to propose to my boyfriend. I knew the feelings were there- i had no doubt in my mind that he was not in this for the long haul (even after only 6 months of dating) but knew there were other factors as well that might not look so good from the outside in such as him being very traditional and probably wanted to be the one who asked and I havent met his parents since his family is scattered across the states.. BUT i decided to ask ANYWAYS. (My bf loves me for being quirky, strong and loving so this was just proof) I love him and just couldnt hold it in any longer! we had gotten in the habit of doing work on our laptops before bed and I made him this video he opened, watched and was quite suprised! His first reaction was yes of course i will marry you but then his logical side appealed to the above stated issues- him wanting to ask and the social decorum with his family. He didn't say yes but made it very clear that it was DEFINETLY not a NO. I think the effort of me asking him put us both on the same page- even after many talks of marriage, kids and life together- we both had fears of those evil 'what-if' questions'. He said he has no doubt that we will be engaged in a couple months but nothing has changed in our relationship. The love is still there and we live each day like its our last. So to all you women out there pondering this question- if it feels right GO FOR IT! Know your boyfriend well enough to anticipate some possible reactions and go from there! this experience definitely opened my eyes to follow my heart and to go get whatever it is that i want and love! Reply i totally cried. congratulations!!! Reply I proposed to my guy earlier this year, and several of my girlfriends also proposed to their guys. We had talked of getting engaged for a while, and even looked at rings. I was impatient, and since he had quit his job to go back to school- it would have probably been years before he could afford a nice ring which he would have wanted before proposing. It was late one night after I came home from school (I'm getting my MBA part time while working) and we were sitting on the floor just chatting. We were discussing engagement stuff, so I figured I'd just 'make it official' and ask him. He said yes. It was sweet and casual, and the lack of specific planning meant I had no time to get nervous. A month or so later we went to shopping together for my engagement ring. There are time I wish I had been proposed to, but I'm also happy I 'popped' the question. I'm thrilled to be engaged. Plus, I adore my engagement ring- its center stone is a star sapphire that belonged to my mom, and I liked having a say in a piece of jewelry I plan on wearing for the rest of my life. We aren't getting married for 2 years (till I finish school), but I love being engaged and planning on spending my life with this guy. Reply My finance and I have been together for almost four years now and yes he did ask first but. (quite awhile ago).. every few months (six months or so) I find some silly romantic way to ask him back. We're considered too young within our families to get married yet but we've been enjoying keeping our tradition going. 🙂 Reply Oh man. I would *totally* ask – he certainly doesn't have an ego about any of that (honestly, he's more of a feminist than I am) and no one would ever accuse us of being heternormative – but, as much as I often want to, I could never take it away from him to ask me. I mean, we 'sort of' ask each other, but the actual question is reserved for him. As someone else mentioned, it's not a fear of commitment thing, it's a getting-his-shit-together thing. I know that he wants to better be able to provide for us as a family, and I respect that. Even if I get a little impatient… [We did just get our domestic partnership license in Cambridge, MA, though. It gives us both rights as a non-married couple that we wouldn't otherwise have, which is awesome. For the occasion, we're having pre-engagement rings custom made (his idea. we both wear cheapy rings we got each other in the beginning of the relationship). They will also end probably end up engagement rings, at which point maybe we'll engrave them. So, it's a step!] More power to you all who plunged in and did it! I think it's wonderful and sexy and I'm a little jealous! Reply I proposed to my husband. I'm a spontaneous, goofy girl that jumps on any opportunity when it comes her way, even if it seems totally impossible or impractical or dumb, because in my opinion, something can only be considered that way if you don't give it at least one try. I'm like Trillian in The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy when she asked Arthur Dent if he would go to Madagascar with her immediately that night for no reason at all. I made the proposal extremely meaningful for him, something that he would know right away what it meant for us, and to show him that I was not trying to one-up him as "proposal bearer". We both obsess over the Harvest Moon game series on Nintendo and Playstation. You take care of a farm, animals, crops, and stuff, and solve quests, and as a major side quest you can choose a girl to woo over time and eventually marry her. There were a couple revised versions of the game where a girl is managing the farm and can find a boy to marry. Learning about the new revised version gave me a lot of confidence to pull this little stunt. In the game, a person does not propose marriage with a ring, they instead must get a rare expensive blue feather from a traveling vendor. On Christmas Day 2004, my husband opened the presents I got him: the newest Harvest Moon game, the GameCube to play it on, and a blue ostrich feather from a craft store, which cost me a dollar, but has so much more meaning to the two of us. He gave a small smile of recognition. "Is this what I think it is?" I scooted closer to him cause we were sitting on the floor and took the feather from him gently and presented it back to him with my proposal. He was in shock for a few, but he eventually gave me a "Yes". Mom asked if I was serious or just playing around cause she didn't understand the significance of an ostrich feather dyed blue, so I explained and she teared up a little. (Continued) Reply Read more comments ‹ 1 2 3 4 › Join the conversation Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! 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out of nowhere,
|Join The Mag creative writing group.
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Quite the clam!ReplyDelete
Beautiful photo and I love the chosen words!ReplyDelete
Lovely prompt ~ I like your scented words ~ReplyDelete
Powerful imagery, Tess!ReplyDelete
Ahhh.... very sexy write. Oddly enough when I saw the Sunday whirl words they took me on a sexy/sensual path and your photograph this morning clinched it for me...lol
This is very ...hot, hot, hot Tess. Lucky clam indeed.
Chowder come...Waves come. All out of nowhere. Clams generally bury themselves in the sand but your clam is exposed. Wowee. I went clamming in Mexico with my grandparents as a small boy. I remember losing patience with the hunt. I would have much preferred my clams to be far more accessible. That sentiment persisted throughout my life. Thanks for all you do, my friend.ReplyDelete
Dude didn't really just say "your clam is exposed", did he? Egads, methinks he did.ReplyDelete
Yes, I believe he did...Delete
The prompt disturbed me Tess, as did this in your face reading of your poem, so sensual and in the gaze. But, I have to tell you that this disturbance in my life caused me to spend time with an artist and art more provocative than Arbus and Monroe. And so I thank you for disturbing the ripples on my lake and challenging me to go under the surface where I have to face myself and give. I've had an amazing morning in the arms of this artist. And hours after writing my response, I realize that I am the shell!
Thank you for this poem and prompt.
This poem is not easy to read ... I tried to convey the frank eroticism without a schoolboy snigger ...Delete
Susan, I'm happy to have introduced you to the compelling, and sadly, far too few, photos by Francesca Woodman. One can't help but wonder of the art that might have been.Delete
R.A.D., thank you...you presented this piece perfectly...Delete
R.A.D., you blew me away with that reading. Impressive presentation. I enjoyed it very much ... and could almost see the corners of your mouth fighting not to rise.Delete
Since you already know I'm a perv, I will totally admit to clicking on R.A.D.'s video just to hear him read that last line. Cheap thrills are still thrills, aye?Delete
well now...that is rather hot...especially from naked on the beach tot he chowder...and before lunch even...smiles....ReplyDelete
wow that was some visuals your words instilled brilliant as alwaysReplyDelete
To quote Kevin Costner after watching Madonna in concert: "Neat".
To quote Bart from Blazing Saddles:
"Excuse me while I whip this out".
I'm somewheres in between.
Top that Tess Kinkaid! I like a bit of eroticism on a Sunday morning! Boy could I do with a cigarette............and I haven't smoked for 8 years!!ReplyDelete
Incredibly incredible!!ReplyDelete
Flung far and wide..and still a pearl! The words you dare...amazing!Inspired..ReplyDelete
in chowder come" ... Oh golly, that's a strong and surprising ending. :)
erotic but not pornographic.
Especially love the beginning lines, maybe because I haven't gotten to the beach yet this year!ReplyDelete
Very sensual poem - more really than the image which has a posed feel to me--and yet there's a kind of really disturbing kind of violent side too. (About the poem, not image, I mean). One has to hope that the beach is a bit protected. k.ReplyDelete
I find this poem a wonderful dance of oral eroticism, rife with the marvelously heady scent...ReplyDelete
I enjoyed doing your prompts and seeing what other can do with it. with that said I Like that you have it spoken as we read it, helps by adding a voice and tone for this cool poem that you've written.ReplyDelete
A double entendre..... far flung and wonderful. Thank you for sharing Tess. I loved listening to the reading. Thanks R.A.D. =D =DReplyDelete
I really love R.A.D. reading this poem! There was a certain something there that wasn't before.
You blew this right out of the water... as always!
Thanks everyone ... biggest thanks to Tess ... much appreciated ...ReplyDelete
Tess, thanks for taking me with you on this beAutiful Orgasm , great success, RAD! Got a smoke ?ReplyDelete
Great write!!ReplyDelete
The trick with the erotic poem is to take it gently and then make your move (a process that might, I guess, have a wider application), which is what you do, Tess, to excellent effect. A delight.ReplyDelete
Such vivid presence, in words, and the video, he is radiant in this!ReplyDelete
Caught up in the throes (or "throws" perhaps) of the season. Quite the steamy little write, Tess. Nice sensual picture you've painted.ReplyDelete
Perfect. Erotic.... evocative..... what a mood was created....
I loved it.
♥ Robin ♥
Beautifully put, moody and sensual.ReplyDelete
Hot in my kitchen, that bubbling chowder. Let the tide of metaphor roll in. xxxxjReplyDelete
That was something of a fling! Did I detect a twinkle in R.A.D's eye?ReplyDelete
I saw an ad in a magazine today that was evocative of Willow Manor. I wonder if it was.ReplyDelete
your poems lately seem very sensual, erotic and suggestive. hmm.ReplyDelete
Dear Tess: Can never refuse a good clam chowder in the Shetlands; especially when told to "come" on down~ReplyDelete
Had to do some 'googling' to properly understand the context (Shetlands, chowder, etc), but then it all made it sense after that... Thanks for sharing, and prompting me to learn some more.. :)ReplyDelete
gorgeous, a birth beautiful in its economy, if not a bit brutal,
surviving and dying.
i love this... the first 6 lines is what i am going through now... haist!
How does this one manage to be subtle and blatant as all get out...all at the same time?
Even the double entendre had that quality, which is interesting considering that it made me clutch my pearls a bit. I may even have gasped...!
I did find myself turning the sound waaaay down to hear R.A.D. read it...because I have kids in the house this morning. (Full knowing they wouldn't understand yet feeling quite certain they would.)
I appreciate your putting a COMMA after thanks (where you have the blogger icon). Alas! I fear only hardcore writers know how to punkUate. Ah! C'est la vie! (French: that's [the] life). God bless you. ...and keep-up the groovy punkUation which sets us above the rest. _thewarningsecondcoming.com_ReplyDelete


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Stainless Steel Head Ring With Sperm Stopper
Average customer review 3.5 out of 5 stars4 reviews
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Product Description
Bondage doesn't have to stop at just cuffs and restraints. This stainless steel head ring sits just below the glans of the penis, with the smooth spherical stopper inserted into the urethra, creating intense internal sensations and enhanced erections.
Incredibly enjoyable, this head ring with Sperm Stopper is perfect for kinky play and suitable for use during sex too.
The set includes one ring measuring 0.8 inches in diameter, that is designed to fit beneath the head of your cock when it's soft. When you're ready, gently pull the ring open until you can fit the hinge of the stopper in place.
Slip the Head Ring on when flaccid and position the hinge so it's on the underside of your penis, resting against the frenulum.
Once the excitement begins, you can insert the 0.25 inch diameter Sperm Stopper sphere into the urethra and enjoy the uniquely intense sensations!
Not only does it stimulate the ultra sensitive urethra with each and every touch but it also makes the head of the penis bigger and harder for even more torturously teasing fun!
True to its name, the smooth stopper helps to delay ejaculation and prolong orgasm as well. Great for edging!
Suitable for both natural and circumcised cocks.
Made of 0.2mm thick surgical steel.
Stainless Steel Head Ring With Sperm Stopper
- £49.99
- Our Price
- £35.00
- You save:
- £14.99 (30%)
Reviewed: 16 November 2013 by NumbNuts, a Straight Single Male
My wife added this to her LH wish list after it showed up in the "other items you may be interested in" feature.
When she showed me, I think I went a bit white at the thought of it! I've had numerous operations over the last few years and the insertion/removal of a catheter was never pleasant, and that came to mind when she showed me this!
It took me a couple of weeks to pluck up the courage to try it and I'm glad I did!
I ordered it yesterday and it arrived this morning (usual excellent service from LH!). My first impressions were that the ring was too small and the 'stopper' too large, but a bit of lube proved me wrong on that and it fit comfortably.
The only way I can describe the sensations is mind-blowing. I've never felt anything like it and I can see it being used on a very regular basis!
If, like me, you're a bit nervous about trying this type of thing, take my advice and just go for it. I promise you, you won't regret it!
- Pros
- The sensations it causes are unbelievable!
- Cons
- The price is a bit steep.
- Bottom line
- This is going to get used a lot! Possibly the best item I've purchased!
- Was this review helpful to you? Yes
Urethral Play for Beginners
Reviewed: 24 July 2011 by ruffledsheets
Okay, let's start off by dispelling any myths...
This is *not* a chastity device, it does *not* prevent orgasm and it will not stop you ejaculating.
There, that's better. Now I can begin the proper review. I'm sure none of you all actually thought it was a real chastity device though, eh.
Anyway, this toy is a combination of two products in one. It's a head ring that attaches to a 'sperm stopper', which is a small stainless steel ball bearing on the end of a tiny steel tube. Other than the stopper, it is all superbly crafted from tiny, but sturdy surgical steel.
Slipping on the toy is easy, but I'd recommend experimenting a little with it. It's designed so that the glans/head ring rests with the hinge against the frenulum (the sweet spot on the underside of the penis). However, I have found it more comfortable the other way around. It's all down to personal preference, however, and can be used either way. It's easiest to slip on when semi-hard. Too flaccid and it may fall off, too erect and it may hurt.
Once the ring is in place, simply insert the stopper slowly into the urethra. I haven't had to use any lubricant as by the time I've used it my Cowper's gland has already produced a significant amount of 'pre-cum', but you can use a little water-based lube, if you need to. If you're unsure, use lube anyway. ALWAYS err on the side of caution when it comes to lubrication. As a side note, if you're putting this on an uncircumcised penis (like mine) then you may want to pull the foreskin back first. It's not essential, but for me it feels better.
Once in place, the sensations are amazing. I first tried this with my partner and as soon as I slipped the stopper in every touch of her's was intense. Touching the head of my penis when I'm wearing it feels different (in a good way) and stroking the shaft made the head expand, which in turn heightened the sensations. A combination of them both made my eyes roll back into my head. After playing for a while, when I was brought to orgasm it felt different, but in a good way. I was very conscious of the metal ball in my urethra, but the combination of that and the head ring seemed to intensify everything. I've used it many times now, on my own and with my partner, and it's the same every time.
Downsides? None really, although if you or your partner are too vigorous then it may come off. For this reason, I'd be wary of penetrative sex with it on. I haven't tried it and wouldn't recommend it. Other than that, it's great. It's a finely crafted, body safe, easy to clean product that's a lot of fun to use.
What I will say is that using this has made me want to try more toys of a similar nature. I now want to try a couple more glans rings (one in particular that has a ball for frenulum stimulation) and I also want to try urethral sounding as I've heard the sensation of being stroked whilst sounded is like no other.
If you've never tried this kind of stimulation before then this is a good place to start.
- Pros
- Build quality, material, sensations received.
- Cons
- Nothing.
- Bottom line
- Great beginners urethral toy.
- 7 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
Not bad, I guess
Reviewed: 25 January 2013 by Tarragon
So, I was sent this as a review item (how exciting!) and I must say, on first look it seemed pretty good. Nice finish, good quality and all that. Hinge with the actual stopper was a bit stiff, but nothing too serious.
The first time I tried it on, I couldn't get to an orgasm for some reason. It was more like it got in the way while stroking. The stopper slipped in pretty nice but I didn't really notice it that much. It served mostly to stop me taking it off. Tip: use more lube than you think.
I tried again later that night, and that time I did manage to get to orgasm. Because the tip had restricted blood flow due to the ring, it heightened the sensation of the ball sitting in my urethra, and the two together made for a pretty damn good orgasm. I just tried it again in combination with an anal toy, and that was even better.
However, the price. I was sent this as a review item, but I honestly don't think I'd have bought it for a third of what it cost. I know I'm usually a cheapskate, but £50 for this just doesn't cut it for me.
- Pros
- It's well made and does its job pretty well.
- Cons
- The price would be really prohibitive for me.
- Bottom line
- Too expensive for what it is, but what it is isn't at all bad.
- Was this review helpful to you? Yes
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Penis plug
Reviewed: 03 September 2013 by Earthmover69
I bought this to try. Me and my fiancee opened the packet but for the price of £49.99 all we got was a clear bag, 2 rings and the stopper.
The product is bit over-priced as finish is not the best and the packaging could be in improved.
We tried it out and found it more annoying than pleasurable.
- Pros
- Not much.
- Cons
- Packaging, quality, price.
- Bottom line
- Not for me but others might enjoy.
- Was this review helpful to you? Yes
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LibraryThing ReviewUser Review - jorgearanda - LibraryThing
A very useful summary of the field of organizational science. Its treatment of three different paradigms to understand organizations (as rational, natural, and open systems) is tremendously insightful ... Read full review
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Details*Enhanced for the new iPad!* *****BigBot Smash, the amazingly fun and stress-relieving city stomping arcade game, is now FREE!***** "[This] top-down urban robotic rampage offers destructive fun, especially if you love big bots (and smashing stuff up!)." - TouchArcade (4/5 Stars) Humans have been oppressing you for decades, terrorizing robot-kind just because you're big, metallic and scary. You've tolerated it long enough, but now they've made you mad. Mad enough to smash! Humans have dismantled your robot sweetheart and scattered the pieces across the globe. So now it's time for them to pay, and for true love to triumph. March across the globe and smash through the world's cities to recover your sweetheart's parts. Key Game Features • Insanely fun pick-up-and-play gameplay. Tap to shoot or smash, and tilt or swipe to move. Then watch the buildings and humans fall by the wayside. • Three distinct robots to control: the tough Blockbot, wheel-riding Cyclobot, and hovering Grimbot. • Collect upgrade parts and advance your robot to lethal heights with upgrades like the Death Ray, Antimatter Pulse, and the "5 Million Angry Hamsters" power source. • Over 20 different cities to smash through, with unique city music that puts you in a globetrotting mood. • Extra game modes including Survival and Speed Demolition. • Multiple control methods so you can guide your robot rampage via simple swiping or tilting.
Seller:Ayopa Games LLC
Genre:Action, Arcade
Release:Dec 01, 2011
Updated:Mar 19, 2012
Size:38.3 MB
User Rating:Unrated
Your Rating:unrated
Compatibility:HD Universal


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Wealth Disparities Will Intensify (Drummond and Tulk 2006)
December 15, 2006
According to TD Bank Financial Group Economists Drummond and Tulk (2006) wealth disparities will intensify. They paint a dismal picture for Canadians excluded from the top quintile. Prospects are bright for Canada's 22 billionaires and others in that elusive group of Ultra High Net Worth (UHNW) ie c. .004% of Canadian families (Stenner et al., 2006 ), who hold more than $10,000,000 in assets. In sharp contrast to Canadians in the four lower quintiles, the UHNW benefited with large increases in wealth since 1984. Unlike real estate held by the lower quintile, these rare families saw their luxury homes, properties, businesses and collections rise in price. With these additional assets they were able to invest, many in tax-free RRSPs, so their net worth grew. "If investment returns rise the trend towards growing wealth disparities will likely intensify. This could be compounded by sluggish wage gains in the low end and the financial challenge of immigrants – the main source of growth in the younger, less affluent population (Drummond and Tulk, 2006)."
Considerable wealth was accumulated in Canada between 1999 and 2005. In 2005 net worth increased by 41.7% to nearly $1.5 trillion (US?). The most recent Statistics Canada report revealed today that the Canadian national net worth reached $4.8 trillion by the end of the third quarter. While in terms of an economist's algorithm this translates into an average of $146,700 per person. In reality only the a tiny number of Canadian households benefited. "The gain in net worth resulted from an increase in national wealth (economy-wide non-financial assets) as well as a sharp drop in net foreign debt. National net worth grew 2.8% in the third quarter, the largest increase in more than two years (Statistics Canada 2006 )".
Drummond and Turk are concerned that in spite of the dramatic growth in Net Worth, there is a significant portion of the population with little or negative Net Worth (debts/assets ratio) in 2005.
Although Drummond and Turk cite the World Institute for Development Economics Research as their source in regards to situating the seemingly overwhelming disparity between the 10% of households that are extremely wealthy and the lower quintiles. (I believe they refer to reports by Senior Researcher of the World Institute for Development Economics Research (WIDER) of the United Nations University, Mark McGillvray (2005) whose research is available only of the deep Internet — an exclusive members-only club.)
For the first time however, 165 of the UNHW families accepted to be interviewed by the Stenner Group. The True Wealth Report (Stenner 2006 ) reveals that the most popular past-times of UNHW are traveling (particularly to London, Paris, Vienna, New York and Vancouver staying in ), playing golf and taking part in other sports, collecting art and antiques, drive BMW's, Volvo's or Porsches. They claim their philanthropy is tied to both their religious faith and strategic money management (Stenner et al., 2006 ).
(Morissette and Zhan, 2006)
According to Stats Can economists in their recent report who refer to research by Western University Economist James B. Davies and Shorrocks Economist with the United Nations World University, it is to measure the actual holdings of the uber-wealthy. Forty-eight percent of Canadian wealth might be held by less than 1% of the Canadian population; (Davies and Shorrocks, 2000, Davies, 2003).
Western University Economist and co-author of publications with Shorrocks, editor for the United Nations World University publications and Financial Post journalist (Chevreau, 2003) both cited Shillington's C.D. Howe Insitute report (2003), revealing an unintended disincentive for the those who earn under $50,000/annual to save. "Shillington (2003) has used Statistics Canada's 1999 Survey of Financial Security to illuminate what he calls the "futile saving" problem. He looks, first, at the savings of "near-seniors", those households where the older spouse is aged 55 – 64. He finds that 21% of these households have no retirement saving, and in total 53% have retirement savings of less than $100,000. On the grounds that savings of $100,000 would not permit the purchase of an annuity of more than about $10,000 Shillington believes that the majority of these people will be GIS recipients in retirement. Their savings are thus "futile", since they will be at least half confiscated by the GIS taxback.17 Turning to actual GIS recipients, Shillington reports that about 23 percent have an RRSP, with an average value of $43,000; 29 percent have an RPP, with an average value of $65,000; and about 40% have either an RRSP or RPP. In Shillington's view this represents the result of a gigantic fraud, however unintentional. Governments and financial institutions have advertised the importance of saving for retirement very heavily, and the annual campaign to get RRSP contributions is a vigorous one. The voices warning low-income people that this is in no sense an "investment" are tiny ones." (Davies, 2003) p. 28
Shillington concluded that
poor seniors dependent on the federal Guaranteed Income Supplement (GIS) and its means-tested provincial and municipal counterparts should not bother with RRSPs. To do so means losing GIS benefits, rent subsidies, drug benefits, provincial aid programs like Ontario's GAINs and similar welfare programs." Once RRSPs create income from Registered Retirement Income Funds after 69, $1 in income reduces GIS benefits by 50¢. Since half of GIS recipients pay income tax, they face an effective marginal tax rate of 75% on extra income. In some cases involving dividend gross-ups, the effective top-rate savings may pass 100%, Mr. Shillington said. For them, "RRSPs are a terrible investment. They are victims of a fraud, however unintentional." Saving $100,000 in RRSPs may be futile if that is your target. However, it does not mean younger people with $100,000 already saved should stop, as long as they are on the way to accumulating several hundred thousand dollars by the end of their working lives. "RRSPs can be dangerous to your financial health" is the subtitle of Free Parking, a self-published book by "reformed financial planner" Alan Dickson. "I totally agree with the report," Mr. Dickson said. Citing 2001 Statistics Canada data, Mr. Shillington said of $1-trillion in retirement assets, $600-billion is in employer pensions, $340-billion in RRSPs and $70-billion in RRIFs. (Chevreau, 2003)
"National net worth reached $4.8 trillion by the end of the third quarter, or $146,700 per person. The gain in net worth resulted from an increase in national wealth (economy-wide non-financial assets) as well as a sharp drop in net foreign debt. National net worth grew 2.8% in the third quarter, the largest increase in more than two years (Statistics Canada 2006 )".
Clever people like Derek Foster who know how to work the system trigger angry responses against publicly-financed assistance for the lowest quintile. (Heinzl, 2005) Foster (born c. 1961) began making astute investments while still in university. He learned from finance gurus Peter Lynch and Warren Buffett. In 2005 he continued to earn enough from his total investments (which total six digits) in Starbucks, Colgate-Palmolive, Rothmans Inc., Royal Bank of Canada, Corby Distilleries Ltd., Manulife Financial Corp., George Weston Ltd., Pembina Pipeline Income Fund, Canadian Oil Sands Trust and a dozen or so others, that he and his family of four can live modestly without ever having to work again. Their low income c. $30, 000/annual actually allows them to enjoy certain publicly-financial benefits designed for low-income earners with no assets (Heinzl, 2005). Others include Dianne Nahirny's Stop Working, Start Living (http://www.smartmakeovers.com) and Alan Dickson's Free Parking and Advance to Go (http://www.freemoneypress.com)
(McGillivray, 2005)
(McGillivray, 2005)
Unfortunately I cannot use this source. References have no weight: [1.4 million Canadian children — about one in five — living in poverty, an increase of more than 500,000 since 1995. [. . .]"Housing, health, education, labour rights and a healthy environment are all included in the covenant," she said. "Wealthy nations like Canada are expected to take steps toward meeting the goals of the covenant, but since Canada last reported in 1993, it has taken many steps backward." [. . .] But life may not be as rosy as the UN survey found. A recently released Indian Affairs study said off-reserve aboriginals came in about 35th and on-reserve natives rank about 63rd in the world, putting their standard of living in Canada at the same level as Mexico's and Thailand's. The Ottawa-based Centre for the Study of Living Standards recently said anyone who has tried to measure Canadians' quality of life has found it's worsened considerably during the 1990s, even though the economy has bounced back from the last recession. (McGran, 1998 )
With more than a billion people living on less than one dollar per day, some evidence of increasing gaps in living conditions within and between countries and the clear evidence of substantial declines in life expectancy or other health outcomes in some parts of the world, the related topics of inequality, poverty and well-being are core international issues. More is known about inequality, poverty and well-being than ever before as a result of conceptual and methodological advances and better data. Yet many debates persist and numerous important questions remain unanswered. This book examines inequality, poverty and well-being concepts and corresponding empirical measures. Attempting to push future research in new and important directions, the book has a strong analytical orientation, consisting of a mix of conceptual and empirical analysis that constitute new and innovative contributions to the research literature.Mark McGillivray is a senior researcher with the World Institute for Development Economics Research (WIDER) of the United Nations University.
Selected webliography
- Chevreau, Jonathan (2003) RRSPs a bad option for low-income earners Financial Post.
- Davies, James B. (2003) Social and Economic Risks to Seniors in Ontario. Ontario Panel on the Role of Government (OPRG). Toronto.
- Davies, James B. & Shorrocks, Anthony F. (2000) "The Distribution of Wealth." In Atkinson, A.B. and Bourguignon, F. (Eds.) Handbook of Income Distribution.
- Drummond, Don & Tulk, David (2006 ) Lifestyles of the Rich and Unequal: an Investigation into Wealth Inequality in Canada. TD Bank Financial Group.
- Heinzl, John (2005) The 'Youngest Retiree' Tells How To Punch Out Of The Workplace. Globe and Mail.
- McGillivray, Mark (2005) Inequality, Poverty and Well-being, Helsinki, Finland, Palgrave Macmillan.
- Mcgran, Kevin (1998 ) Anti-poverty activists take case to the United Nations. The Canadian Press. Toronto, ON.
- Mcquaig, Linda (1995) Shooting the Hippo: Death by Deficit and Other Canadian Myths, Toronto, Viking
- Mcquaig, Linda (1998 ) The Cult of Impotence: Selling the Myth of Powerlessness in the Global Economy, Toronto, Penguin Books
- Morissette, René & Zhan, Xuelin (2006 ) Revisiting Wealth Inequality. Perspectives on Labour and Income. Ottawa, ON, Statistics Canada.
- Shillington, Richard (2003) New Poverty Traps: Means-Testing and Modest-Income Seniors. C. D. Howe Institute. Backgrounder. 65.
- Statistics Canada. (2006). "National balance sheet accounts: Third Quarter". Press Release. Ottawa, ON. December 15, 2006.
- Stenner, Thane, Bower, Rod, Currie, John & O'connor, Rory (2006) True Wealth Report: Values and Views of Ultra-Affluent Individuals, Vancouver, BC, T. Stenner Group ™.
Sachs, Jeffrey D. 2011-03-04. "Need versus greed: The global economy is growing quickly, but too much wealth is siphoned off by well connected billionaires."
This post is being written on line back and forth between articles, EndNote, zotero and the slow world. It is currently being updated.
Flynn-Burhoe, Maureen 2008. "Food Fertilizer Fuel." >> papergirls.wordpress.com
Filed in Business & Finance, economic efficiency, Economy & Finance, Risk Society, Social Justice, wealth disparities will intensify
Tags: art collectors, C.D. Howe, Creative Commons, deep Internet, Drummond and Turk 2006, economic efficiency, economist's algorithm, economy-wide non-financial assets, EndNote 8, faith-based philanthropy, Financial Post, futile saving, Guaranteed Income Supplement (GIS), immigrants, lower quintile, National net worth, national wealth, negative Net Worth, philanthropy, philanthropy: strategic money management, RRSP as gigantic fraud, Shillington, social capital, Statistics Canada, Statistics Canada's 1999 Survey of Financial Security, Stenner 2006, strategic money management, strategic money management philanthropy, TD, True Wealth Report, uber-wealthy, UHNW, Ultra High Net Worth, unintended disincentive to save, United Nations World University, upper quintile, WIDER, World Institute for Development Economics Research


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Current, former Olympic athletes say they aren't worried about safety at Olympic games
As Olympic athletes prepare to leave for the 2014 Winter Games in Russia, there is a lot of talk about security.
WISN 12 News reporter Mike Anderson sat down with one Olympic athlete in West Allis, who said he is not afraid of the recent violence.
VIDEO: Some Olympians not worried about safety at games
Olympic ice skater Jonathan Kuck of Champaign, Ill., just wrapped up months of training at the Pettit National Ice Center, and is hours away from taking off for Sochi. He has heard the stories about the black widows and terrorism threats.
"Not really thinking about it at all," Kuck said.
The 23-year-old said he's been skating for 14 years. This is his big moment, and he's not going to be distracted by fear.
"It's exciting. It's only every three or four years, so it makes it that much more exciting and that much more of a bigger deal for us," Kuck said.
"Sochi will be my 18th Olympic games," U.S. Speedskating Board President Mike Plant said.
Plant, a former Olympic skater and West Allis native, also trained at the Pettit Center. He called the Olympic games the safest event in the world. He is also on his way to Sochi and said he's not worried.
"There's tons of preparation, and a lot of people that have certainly spent years preparing for creating a safe environment, and I really believe that the Russians, they obviously understand their responsibilities, and they're going to take that very seriously," Plant said.
The U.S. military has a contingency plan in place for an evacuation of U.S. citizens in case of a major incident in Sochi.