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60 Blog posts in a 2014 – sometimes I don't understand how that happens. Is that a lot? A little?
I have always said that I do not blog for the sake of blogging, but to share information and my thoughts. It is good to see that people find this useful – and do take an interest in what I have to say.
The 5 posts that received the highest number of visitors in the past year were:
- The Quickest Way to Get Started with Docker
- VSAN - The Unspoken Truth
- vCenter is Still a Single Point of Failure
- Nova-Docker on Juno
- Introducing VIRL Personal Edition
What did I blog about? I calculated this with the tags I attached to each of the posts:
- OpenStack (30)
- VMware (19)
- Cloud (12)
- DevOps (7)
- VMworld (6)
- Automation,
Administration, Architecture, Design and Docker (5)
(Ok I lied – that was more than 5 topics)
If you would like more of a graphic presentation – here you go.
For me it has is interesting to see that my focus has changed, and not VMware centric any more. I guess that is an expected thing – with my current role and also that I have a more overall solution in mind during my daily work – which is so much more than virtualization.
I hit a Milestone – on December 03, 2014 where I surpassed over 2,000,000 Pageviews on my blog.
It took me 5 years to achieve my first million, the second was achieved in only two years. I have been blogging for 7 years now, it always good to share my thoughts, my insights, and sometimes my rants. I hope you all benefit, and will continue to make use of the articles I write.
Here is looking to a great 2015, filled with opportunities, community and exciting things ahead.
And how did 2014 turn out for you? Please feel free to leave your comments and thoughts below.
Catch you on all the flip side!
vCenter is Still a Single Point of Failure
A few days ago VMware (Mike Brown, Anil Kapur and Justin King are the authors) announced the updated document for the vCenter Server 5.5 Availability guide.
I would like to make clear a few things from the start.
- This is not a VMware bashing post. (Even it might be perceived as such)
- I hold all three of the authors in very high regard.
Here goes.
When reading this document I was hoping to hear something new, something refreshing, something that VMware customers have been asking and verbally complaining about for a very long time.
Alas – this is not the case.
vCenter is a single point of failure. There I have said it. I have said it before, I will continue to say it in the future until this if fixed.
In the following article I will be taking statements directly from the text, providing my thoughts as I go along.
Great start – This document will discuss the requirements… After re-reading that statement – I understood what VMware did. VMware has not provided us with a method of providing HA for vCenter – but rather – have explained what they think should be defined as High Availability be for your vCenter server.
The authors then go into explaining all about MTBF and MTTR – they did a great job. I will not go into the details here – you should read the document
SLA's are extremely important – and for and every environment – an SLA is something different – yours may differ from your neighbor, so it is important to understand what you need to achieve.
They then go into describing the tests that were run in order to measure the amount of time it would take for a vCenter server to recover. Fair enough.
Here is where it starts to get interesting. Let us look at this in a picture.
Bottom line is – that once a vCenter server has gone down – it will take a little over 5 minutes until it is fully functional.
This part of the document states that having vSphere HA – and having vCenter running as a virtual machine actually provides some level of protection.
A dedicated management cluster is of course advised – that way you have a dedicated environment to run your management components without having to worry that the client workloads will interfere.
Also putting the database in the same management cluster is recommended – seems logical.
I then noticed that the only SQL version that is supported for vCenter 5.5 is Enterprise and up – which was news to me. I gather this is a documentation bug – because the VMware Product Interoperability Matrix says that Standard is supported.
So how do you protect vCenter?
It would really be great if they would explain exactly how that would be possible and how that should be done. It still might be possible? How exactly? In order to protect vCenter – I will need another vCenter? Licensing? Implications?
Emergency Restore was a new one to me –
but it is only available in vSphere Data Protection Advanced Edition – that is something that was left out – which is approximately $1,500 (list price) / per socket. As a result of the feedback received in the comments – I have amended this. It seems that Emergency restore is also available in all editions of VDP – not only Advanced (more information here).
OK, enough copy and paste. This piece above is what set me off.
Essentially what VMware are saying the following:
- Use a separate management cluster
- Run vCenter in a VM
- Run the Database in a VM
- No matter what happens – if your vCenter crashes then it will be down for 5 minutes.
- Your workloads are safe because they are running on your ESXi hosts are protected by HA and can continue running without a vCenter server.
Points 1-4 - I totally agree. With point #5 I also agree.
But there are environments that cannot afford to have a 5 minute outage. VMware might say that having vCenter go done and out for five minutes, is not really an outage per se, but I would very much like to disagree here.
If I cannot provision a new VM because my vCenter is not available – that is an outage.
Where would this be an issue?
- VDI environments – If a user logs in and his desktop is not provisioned because vCenter is down? How about the whole 100 or 1000 employees?
- Highly automated environments – ones that use products like vRealize Automation or vRealize Code Stream. Imagine having your code builds fail for 5 minutes because vCenter is not available? The whole continuous delivery process breaks down.
I might be exaggerating a bit – but I have voiced this more than once – I started more than 4 years ago - Troubleshooting Tools for vCenter.
vCenter is probably the most crucial part of your virtual infrastructure. And all that you can expect from from an availability perspective is that you have to accept as a given that vCenter might go down for 5 minutes at a time.
There are environments that will accept this - I would actually say that the large majority are fine with this – but what about those who are not? Those who cannot afford having this kind of outage? What do they do?
There used to be a product called vCenter Server Heartbeat – which was retired.
Where are those promised options? When will they be available? What do companies do in the interim? Pray that there vCenter does not crash?
Embedded below is the Twitter conversation that sparked this post.
The scenario on which VMware based their whole presumption was on the fact that the host on which vCenter was running would crash, HA would kick in and the VM would be restarted on another host within 5 minutes.
The whole scenario of having a problem with your database, or a vCenter service problem (and believe me it happens), that was not covered.
Take the following scenario. You have a vCenter appliance. For some reason the vCenter service stops responding on the VM. There is no automatic restart. Eventually you get a call, something is not right. You try and restart the service, nothing happens. You restart the VM, nothing happens.
Now what? Open a call with VMware? Deploy another vCenter appliance and hope that nothing goes wrong? I can guarantee you that will take a hell of a lot longer than 5 minutes.
Why does the document even go into providing a clustered solution for the MSSQL database? Because that might fail? Yes it could happen. But guess what – the whole system is only as strong as its single weakest link. So providing a clustered database solution might give some piece of mind – but it will not protect you from an outage – because there is no way to cluster a vCenter server.
In conclusion – yes there are considerations. I would definitely not say that VMware have a High Availability solution for vCenter, they have done their best to minimize the impact it will have when it vCenter crashes – but that is not HA!
What do you think? Am I making a mountain out of molehill? Or this a real and valid concern? Please feel free to leave your comments and thoughts below.
Keeping up to date with OpenStack Blueprints
OpenStack is a living product – and because it is community driven - changes are being proposed almost constantly.
So how do you keep up with all of these proposed changes? And even more so why would you?
The answer to the second question is because if you are interested in the projects then you should be following what is going on. In addition there could be cases where you see that the proposed blueprint could break something that you currently use or is in directly contradiction to what you are trying to do – and you should leave your feedback.
OpenStack wants you to leave your feedback – so please do!
About the first question - the answer is here – http://specs.openstack.org. This is an aggregate of the new blueprints (specs) for each of the projects as they are approved.
I use RSS feeds available for the blueprints which helps me keep up to date as soon as a new blueprint is added.
I have compiled an OPML file with all the current projects that you can add to your favorite RSS reader.
You can download it in the link below.
I hope this will be as useful to you as it is to me.
As always, comments, suggestions and thoughts are always welcome.
Landing your first OpenStack Contribution
In my previous post I showed you how to get your OpenStack git environment up and running by using a container.
In this post we will go through the steps needed to actually contribute code. This will not be a detailed tutorial on how to use git and gerrit, and its functionality, but rather a simple step by step tutorial on how to get your code submitted for review in OpenStack.
First we start up the container.
Since playing around with real OpenStack code is not a good idea when you are just learning – there is a sandbox repository where you can perform all your tests.
First things first we need to clone the repository so that we have a local copy of the files
git clone https://github.com/openstack-dev/sandbox
What this does is, you copy all the files in the repository to a folder of the same name under your current working directory. Depending on the size of the repo – this could take seconds or minutes.
Enter the directory and look at the files.
cd sandbox
ls –la
You will see the files are the same as the those on the repository on the web.
With the exception of one file the .git folder which is not visible on the github repository. This link will give you some more explanation as to what is in the folder.
Now make sure you have the latest code from Github.
git checkout master git pull origin master
Create a branch to do your work in that you'll do commits from.
git checkout -b MYFIRST-CONTRIBUTION
Now we get to the changes.
I am going to create folder named maish with two files inside, like the structure shown below
Here I just created empty files – but it could be correcting someone else's code or adding new code, the process is the same.
Once you have completed your work you will need to add all the changes and push them back up to the original branch.
Add all the files and changes by running
git add .
Next, you commit your changes with a detailed message (and you should really understand how to commit proper changes) that'll be displayed in review.openstack.org, creating a change set.
git commit –a
A VI editor will open were you now can add the reasons for your change and mention any closed bugs. Follow the conventions about git commit messages giving a good patch description, adding a summary line as first line, followed by an empty line, descriptive text, backport lines and bug information:
Save the file by typing :wq, and you will see that your files and changes were added.
Set up the Gerrit Change-Id hook, which is used for reviews, and run git review to run a script in the /tools directory which sets up the remote repository correctly:
git review
You might be asked prompted to accept the SSH key, type yes.
If all goes you will see something similar to the output below.
Looking back at the github repo – you will not see any changes. You might ask yourself – where did my code go?
The reason you do not see any change – is that before any code is accepted in the master branch it has to be reviewed, both by an automated set of tests and also by humans.
So where did it go?
If you go to https://review.openstack.org/#/ you will see the change you just submitted
Clicking on the change will take you to the details where you can see the following:
The change information.
The commit message (you will notice that the Change-Id was automatically added)
The status of the reviews and feedback. This could be an automatic test or an actual person who reviewed and left a comment.
Here are the files that were checked in.
And the comments themselves
I can also make and additional change as well – this could be based upon feedback from one of the reviewers, a failed test, or any other reason. Here I added another file – file3.
I need to add the changed files and commit them again – this time with a flag –amend. You can change the commit message.
git add .
git commit –a –-amend
And then push upstream.
git review
Going back to the web page you will see a few differences.
The new commit message.
And that the code is now added as a new patch set – i.e. a new version of the code.
One last thing.
Since this is a sandbox – please keep it clean. That means when you are finished with your tests you should mark your commit as Abandoned.
The status will change.
And this will change the status in you list of changes to Closed
I hope this was useful and will alleviate some of the concerns and people have with contributing code back into OpenStack.
Please feel free to leave your comments and feedback below.
Introducing VIRL Personal Edition
This is an internal Cisco tool which is so useful – that I am really pleased that it is finally available for public consumption.
VIRL Stands for Virtual Internet Routing Lab
What Is VIRL?
VIRL is comprehensive network design and simulation platform. VIRL includes a powerful graphical user interface for network design and simulation control, a configuration engine that can build complete Cisco configuration at the push of a button, Cisco virtual machines running same network operating systems as used in Cisco's physical routers and switches, all running on top of OpenStack.
How Does VIRL Work?
VIRL uses the Linux KVM hypervisor and OpenStack as its virtual machine control layer, with a powerful API enabling the creation and operation of VMs in a simulated network topology. Users design their network using the VM Maestro design and control interface, with network elements such as virtual routers, switches and servers. The design is translated into a set of virtual machines running real Cisco network operating systems.
What Does VIRL Offer?
Design, learn and test with virtual machine running real Cisco network operating systems – IOS, IOS XE, IOS XR and NX-OS as well as virtual machine running 3rd party operating systems. Build highly-accurate models of real-world or future networks, study the behaviour and configuration of routing protocols, break and fix your network and understand how to troubleshoot with a powerful integrated platform.
The original information can be found here
Cisco VIRL Personal Edition annual subscription license provides a scalable, extensible network design and simulation environment for several Cisco Network Operating Systems for students. This includes IOSv, IOS XRv, NX-OSv, CSR1000v as well as third party images such as Ubuntu Linux.
Educational pricing is available for this product for college students, parents buying for a college student, or teachers, homeschool teachers and staff of all grade levels – limited to one purchase.
VIRL enables users to:
• Build highly-accurate models of real-world or future networks.
• Learn and test with 'real' versions of Cisco network operating systems – IOSv, IOS XRv, NX-OSv and CSR1000v.
• Integrate virtual network simulations with real network environments.
• The download includes VIRL Personal Edition 1.0 Pre-Release software with a single-user annual license to manage up to 15 Cisco nodes.
You can view a short demo of the product in the link below.
Start Contributing to OpenStack - The Easy Way #docker
One of the most daunting and complicated things people find when trying to provide feedback and suggestions to the OpenStack community, projects and code – is the nuts and bolts of actually getting this done.
There are a number of tutorials around. The official kind - HowTo for FirstTimers, Documentation HowTo, Gerrit Workflow.
Scott Lowe also posted a good tutorial on Setting up the Tools for Contributing to OpenStack Documentation. But the process itself is still clunky, complicated and for someone who has never used git or gerrit before – highly intimidating.
That is why I embarked on providing a really simple way of starting to contribute to the OpenStack code. I was planning on writing a step-by-step on how exactly this should be done – but Scott's post was more than enough – so need to repeat what has already been said.
Despite that there are still some missing pieces in there which I would like to fill in here in this post.
Before we get started there are a few requirements/bits of information that you must have, and some things that you need to do before hand - in order for this process to work.
They are as follows:
- A launchpad account
- An Openstack Foundation account. (Use the same email address for both step 1 and step 2).
- A signed Contributor License Agreement (CLA).
- A gerrit http password.
- Somewhere to run Docker (I wrote a post about this - The Quickest Way to Get Started with Docker)
Let me walk you through each of the steps.
1. A Launchpad Account
Sign up for a launchpad account – http://www.launchpad.net
Register for a new account – you will need to provide some information of course
You will need to of course verify your email address. Go to your inbox and click on that link in the email you have received and validate your address
2. Join the OpenStack Foundation
Sign up for an Openstack Foundation account – https://www.openstack.org/join
And fill in the details
*Remember* – use the same email address you used to sign up for the launchpad account.
3. Sign the CLA
Go to https://review.openstack.org/ and sign in with your Launchpad ID (from Step 1)
If you have not logged out of the Launchpad – you should be presented with a screen like the one below.
Some of the information will already be populated for you. You will need to choose a unique username.
We will not choose an SSH key at the moment. Scroll to the bottom of the screen and choose New Contributor Agreement.
You should choose the ICLA
Review the agreement and understand what you are signing and then fill in the details below.
If everything is Kosher then you will be presented with the following screen to confirm
4. A gerrit http password
Remember the username you chose from the previous step? this is the one you should use.
On that same Settings screen, choose HTTP password and enter your username and Generate Password.
Don't worry – the password has already been changed – the minute I published this post.
And we have finished all the registration and administrative things.
Just to recap – you will need these details for later (you need to replace them with your relevant details instead)
- Your Name – Maish Saidel-Keesing
- Email Address – firstname.lastname@example.com
- Gerrit Username – maish_sk
- HTTP Password - zwZW0X5NAGVP
Running the Container
Now that we have all the parts – it is really simple to get started.
The steps are as follows:
docker pull maishsk/openstack-git-env
This will retrieve the container from the Docker Hub. Once the container has been retrieved you can launch the container.
A few points to note beforehand.
- The container will always start a bash shell. The aim of this environment is to allow you to contribute to the OpenStack Project – so it has to be interactive.
- You have to provide 4 variable to the run command – it has to be all four – otherwise the container will not launch.
- The container will automatically upload an SSH key to gerrit – to allow you to connect and contribute your code upstream. It does not remove the SSH keys when done – this you will have to do manually.
The command to launch the container would is as follows – and remember you need to take the values from above.
docker run --name="git-container" \-e GIT_USERNAME="\"Maish Saidel-Keesing\"" \
-e GIT_EMAIL="email@example.com" -e GERRIT_USERNAME=maish_sk \
-e GERRIT_HTTP_PASSWORD=zwZW0X5NAGVP -i \
-t maishsk/openstack-git-env
A few words about the variables
--name="git-container" – this is just to identify the launched container easily
-e GIT_USERNAME="\"Maish Saidel-Keesing\"" – the quotes have to be escaped \"
-e firstname.lastname@example.com – Don't forget to put in your real email address!
Once the container is launched – provided you have followed all the steps correctly and the variables are also correct - you will see some output printed to the screen with the SSH key that was just created and you will also be able to see that key in the gerrit web interface as well.
You can see that the comment on the web is the same as the hostname of the container.
Embedded below is a screencast of the launching of the container.
In the next post – I will show you how to actually contribute some code.
If you have any feedback, comments or questions, please feel free to leave them below.Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)


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Great New Feature for Client Reviews
More and more, editors are working in studios that may be far away from their clients. Be it cross town or half way around the world, we've all had a need for remote approval of our finished video sequences.
Remote approval has always been a pretty painful process of uploading and downloading compressed files with a lot of e-mails flying back and forth. Not very efficient, is it? I can tell you from personal experience, it isn't.
Recently, a killer new feature sneaked into Premiere Pro CS5 (5.0.2) called CS Review. CS Review in Premiere Pro is the perfect solution for the problem I've just described, remote approval of your work. CS Review is one of a number "services" in the CS Live feature that are integrated into certain Adobe CS5 applications. This blog post aims to get you up and running with CS Review in Premiere Pro quickly and give you tips and resources on how to use this cool new feature.
How Does it Work?
CS Review has two major components: the online Web Client (located at acrobat.com) and the Review Panel in Premiere Pro. After you've finished editing your sequence, you'll create your Review using the Review Panel. You'll encode your movie with Adobe Media Encoder and then send a link to the Review for your client.
On the web client will be a web page with a movie file is embedded into it and a side panel for comments. Your client opens the link, views the footage and then makes comments in different places in the movie. After your client completes making comments, they send an approval message back to you.
Back in Premiere Pro, you'll be able to see the results right in the Review Panel with comments showing each place in the movie that needs a change. Click on a comment and the CTI snaps to the exact location of your comment, ready for you to make that change. Pretty dang nifty.
This video from Adobe Evangelist Terry White shows you the whole process on Adobe TV. It's well worth checking out.
While the video is very informative, there are a few things to know before you get started with CS Review. The following section should clear up any problems you might encounter before trying out your first Review.
Getting Started
To get started in using CS Review in Premiere Pro, you'll need to go through some important steps. The first of which is to update to Premiere Pro CS5 (5.0.2). CS Review didn't exist until the 5.0.2 release so you definitely need to update. For instructions about how to update to Premiere Pro CS5.(5.0.2), go to this web page and follow the instructions.
Now that you've updated to Premiere Pro CS5 (5.0.2), you can begin to get access to CS Review. Click on the CS Live button in the upper left of the Premiere Pro interface. A menu will appear with some choices. Sign in with your Adobe ID by clicking on the link that says: "Sign In". Don't have an Adobe ID? Go here to here one. By the way, your client must also have an Adobe ID and Flash installed in their browser in order to participate in the Review, so be sure to alert them.
To create a Review, you'll also need a CS Live ID. You should be able to do so within the CS Live tab. Click on "Create New Review" and you should see a "Welcome Screen". Follow the steps in the Welcome Screen to create your CS Live ID.
If you are unable to create a CS Live ID from the Welcome Screen, do so from this link. You'll need to register Premiere Pro from the link in order to take advantage of this feature. After registering, you'll have access to CS Live for 12 months, free of charge.
There are a number of different ways you can begin a Review. If you want to create a new Review, you can click File > Create New Review. You can also access the Review Panel by clicking Window > Extensions > CS Review. Of course, you can also click the CS Live button in the upper left of the Premiere Pro interface and then click "Create New Review…" (right). Once you have your CS Live ID and have signed in, you can create your new Review.
Gotcha Notes: There may some gotchas preventing you from using CS Review. A number of users have reported the following problems.
- Can't sign in to CS Live? You may need to Quit Premiere Pro, restart the application, then sign in once more to CS Live. The second log in usually does the trick for log-in privileges.
- Don't have access to the Review Panel in Premiere Pro? You may need to sign in to CS Live, then sign out again from CS Live to have access to the Review Panel. Once you have done that, then the Review Panel in Premiere Pro should be enabled.
- Clicked on the CS Live Tab and all it said was, "Learn More"? Click where it says, "Learn More" which will take you to the CS Live site online. Sign in with your Adobe ID and then go to the CS Review main section. In Premiere, click the Sign In option at the top of the CS Live option list and then sign in. Quit then restart Premiere. You should now have the CS Review Home and Create New Review under the CS Review options. If the techniques in the above section did not work, repeat the steps above until you have access.
Here's a list of links that may be of help to you in finding more about CS Review in Premiere Pro CS5.
Premiere Pro Forum Post – Troubleshooting CS Review
What is CS Review?
CS Review Forum
Adobe TV: Using CS Live
Adobe TV: Take a tour of the CS Review Web Client
Premiere Pro FAQ: CS Live
With these resources and advice above, you should have little trouble generating your first review using CS Review and Premiere Pro. Be sure to post any other issues or problems you may have in the comments section below so that others can be helped in creating their own Reviews.

subset: commoncrawl


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When you win Olympic gold, there's a good chance your smiling face will make its way onto the front of a cereal box.
That will be the case for gold medal-winning U.S. gymnast Gabby Douglas, who will be featured this fall on boxes of Kellogg's Corn Flakes.
Why Corn Flakes and not Wheaties, as so many other Olympic athletes have done?
For one, Kellogg's is an official sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Committee and USA Gymnastics. Add in the fact that Douglas, Jordyn Wieber and Aly Raisman will take part in the Kellogg's Tour of Gymnastics starting September 8, and it's pretty clear that Kellogg's trumps General Mills in the Olympic gymnastics cereal war.
Douglas, a Virginia Beach native affectionately known as "The Flying Squirrel," won gold Thursday in the women's individual all-around finals, holding off two tough Russian gymnasts and Raisman to become the first African-American woman to win one of gymnastics' greatest honors.
She was the third American woman in a row to win the competition. It was her second gold of the Games, as Team USA won the team competition earlier in the week.
Kellogg's has not provided an exact date for the release of the cereal box.


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The Rutles (also known as the Prefab Four) are a band that are known for their visual and aural pastiches and parodies of The Beatles.
Originally created by Eric Idle and Neil Innes as a fictional band to be featured as part of various 1970s television programming, the group (remaining a parody of The Beatles) recorded, toured, and released two UK chart hits in reality.
Initially created for a short sketch in Idle's UK television comedy series Rutland Weekend Television, the Rutles gained international fame after being the focus of the 1978 mockumentary television film, All You Need Is Cash (often referred to as just The Rutles). Having been encouraged by the reaction to the sketch, featuring Beatles' music pastiches by Neil Innes, the film was written by Idle, who co-directed it with Gary Weis. It featured 20 songs written by Innes, which he performed with three musicians as "The Rutles".
A successful soundtrack album in 1978 was, much later, followed in 1996 by Archaeology, which spoofed the Beatles' Anthology series which had recently been released.
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Book your Train ticket to St Petersburg
#1 distributor of train tickets and rail passes
The simplicity of one-stop-shopping
European experts
St. Petersburg, the second largest city in Russia
St Petersburg, the Venitian touch in Russia.
Saint Petersburg is the biggest city of Russia and is located in the western part of the country, in the Finland's gulf. It used to be the be the capital of Russia until 1917, and it kept from this period a wonderful heritage.
Saint Petersburg is considered to be one of the most beautiful cities in Europe. The numerous canals and the 342 bridges make this city a romantic place, insomuch it is called the "northern Venise".
Going to Saint Petersburg, you will be stroken by the beauty of the architecture. The Nevski prospect is 4.5 kms long and presents numerous royal palaces and churches with onion domes from the 18th century. The majestic buildings of the imperial Hermitage district form a majestic cohesion with the famous Winter's Palace in its heart.
Saint Petersburg offers also a lot of museums among the greatest in the world, such as the Hermitage or the Russian museums.
Getting to and from St Petersburg
|From Vainikkala
|From Kouvola
|From Tallinn
|To Kouvola
|To Helsinki
|To Tallinn


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Home >> Course Descriptions >> College of Arts and Sciences
Building Modern America, 1865-1914
Three semester hours.
The United States from Reconstruction to the Progressive Era, including industrialization, immigration, urbanization, the rise of Jim Crow, Populism, labor, and social and political reform. Themes include the dramatic changes in U. S. political, racial, gender, economic, and cultural spheres and their impact on the beginnings of "the American century". Prerequisite: Six semester credit hours of history and/or political science or permission of instructor.
Home - General Information - Student Services -
Academic Undergraduate Regulations -
Undergraduate Degrees - Academic Graduate Regulations -
Graduate Degrees - Course Descriptions - Faculty -
Appendix A - Appendix B - Appendix C - Appendix D


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Isabella Rossallini directs, writes, and stars in Green Porno, a series of one to three minute biologically accurate short films about the reproductive lives of creatures. The writing is theatrical, the filming beautiful, and Rossallini hilarious. Season One follows bugs and Season Two focuses on sea creatures with creative scoring, dramatic lighting and simple but riveting set and costume designs. Green Porno takes itself and its art seriously with Rossallini's tantalizing control responsible for both the comedy and dramatic tension. Continue reading
Tag Archives: animals
We Ω "Green Porno" – by Melissa
Filed under animals, Art, Inspiration!, Reviews
Walton Ford – by Emmett
Calvin Tompkin's profile on artist Walton Ford ("Man and Beast," The New Yorker, 26 January 2009) left me with the impression that Ford is, along with John Currin, one of the new breed of American artist who is resuscitating the craft of painting from the bright dark age of neo-expressionism.
Filed under Art, Inspiration!, Uncategorized


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I forgot to mention a few rather significant things that happened in the past year or so. Sorry, what can I say...we've been busy.
September 2009 - Happy first birthday to Sadie. Oh by the way, I'm pregnant. I know we thought we were done, and I'm nursing, and have no cycle, and this is just slightly short of the immaculate conception, but there it is.
And then in June 2010 -
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Oh by the way...
Posted by Sarah at 12:28 PM 0 comments
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Heya freaks and Minx!
Welcome to this edition of Dai Of The Dead. I am your hostess Bob and will now take you on a tour of my f*cked up little mind. So, so my name isn't Bob, but all the rest applies. ;) Quite a bit has gone on since the last column and I am excited to get to it. I know I have taken a little break from this, but what can ya do, I was a busy little goblin the past few weeks and have kinda stuck to quick articles instead of a full column. Check out what I've been up to by scrolling all the way down and clicking my name under staff.
A few quick pieces of news:
INSIDIOUS was #3 at the box office last weekend!! And considering it was at considerably less theaters than SOURCE CODE, that is a HELL OF A FEAT! Should it have been in as many, experts say it would have undoubtedly taken the #2 spot. Why not #1?? Because the retardedly cheesy bunny movie debuted the same weekend. Now why would anyone want to be scared out of their wits when you could watch an animated bunny crap out jelly beans and watch the chick from Big Bang Theory eat them?
Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to director, and my friend, James Wan for making another hit!
We had the opportunity to interview James on THE GASH so if you haven't checked it out yet, click the link! www.blogtalkradio.com/horrornewsnet/2011/03/29/the-gash
The Hyaena Gallery put on a #Winning Event and Charlie Sheen found it "Radical"!
Last weekend Bill Shafer of the Hyaena Gallery in Burbank, CA had the store's anniversary show and picked the Warlock himself, Charlie Sheen, as the featured theme. Apparently, Charlie loved it so much that he showed up to the gallery and recorded himself speaking to each and every piece that was of him so that people who came in to see them would get a word about them from the man himself.
The video was hilarious and the show was an AMAZING success! Bill extends his genuine thanks to everyone who came out and supported the show. If you are in the Burbank area, you can still see the pieces until April 15th. If not, check it out online at www.HyaenaGallery.com
Thanks to the awesome people at Troma, I am TROMETTE OF THE MONTH April 2011!!
This is pretty kick ass :) Check it out at www.troma.com/tromettes/dai-green/
AND NOW….On with the show:
I had a chance to sit and talk to the eccentric and ALWAYS entertaining MANOUSH recently for a special interview JUST for DOTD. Manoush is one of the most outspoken, funny, and talented people that I have met in wuite a long time so any chance I have to show you guys another side of her is my pleasure. So, without further ado, here we go:
Dai – Well Hello, Mrs. Manoush! Thank you for being with me today! Tell our readers what is on your mind right now.
Manoush – what is on my mind right now? Oh god … so much at the same time … I'm preparing myself for 2 new movies that we'll shoot this year and I just revived my clothing line by making the infamous C.U.N.T shirt again … so I'm all hyper and all over the place right now … excited like a kid about everything …
Dai – CUNT shirts?! That is AWESOME! You said again, how long have you been doing these?
Manoush – actually I had only made 2 a couple of years ago .. for a movie .. but some weeks ago I posted photos of the original shirt and got a surprising lot of requests to make this shirt available …which I felt was a huge compliment .. I'm really proud and happy
Dai – Nice! What movie was that?
Manoush – it was a movie that I did in New York and Europe. The title is UNCUT – that was in 2008. The director is still cutting and editing lol
Dai – Does CUNT stand for anything specific? (Like I need a reason to wear a shirt that says cunt. I'd wear one for any reason haha)
Manoush – oh it just means CUNT. When I first made that shirt all the girls loved these shirts that had "Angel" or "Princess" and all that sweet sh*t on it and I hated these shirts; so I sat down and thought what the most offensive word in the English language might be and that was: CUNT !!!!! That shirt is only the beginning though … I love to word-collage things. So next shirts will be:"21st Century Gang Bang Gladiator", "Full metal Fag Hag", "AK 47 Messiah" "Cannibal Pervert Superstar" etc ..
Dai – HA!! That is so great. I need a collection of those ;)
Tell us about your film career thus far? How did you get into the biz?
Manoush – Oh, how did I get into the film business? That was actually more of a coincidental thing although I always wanted to be a actress since I was a child. I worked with my own bands in the 90ies but we were never really successful apart from "Full metal c.k./cop killer" in 1994 but rather notorious for our shows on stage.
So one night in late 1997 an Indie filmmaker in Germany saw one of our shows and afterwards he asked me if I wanted to be in a movie and hell yes I did. Then the offers just kept coming and here I am now… happy as a lark about being an actress.
Dai – That is actually the type of story I love to hear about how people find their way into this industry. Do you find it much like the music biz or are they different for you?
Manoush – I think both are very much alike … I think all artistic environments are very much alike … filled with passion, creativity … and sometimes insanity (which as I've observed can be quite creative too sometimes)..
Dai – I know what you mean, I have been on both sides as well. How would you describe your acting style?
Manoush – I don't think I have any particular acting style. What I do though is not getting into my character by acting but by becoming my character for the time being. I totally identify myself with the character that I have to play. Speak like her, act like her, react like her, dress like her but once the movie is finished I just slip out of that role and character and abandon it. Once the movie is done the character I played feels like a mere shell, like a corpse to me, so I just leave it
Dai – Ok, pick 3-5 of the films that you have been in and, in one sentence each, describe your character in the film.
Manoush – Oh. Ok.
1) THE SUPER: Olga – vicious, unscrupulous, vile and cold
2) La PETITE MORT: Madam Fabienne; a greedy sadist bitch
3) AVANTGARDE: Donna Sciavelli – an insane fashion designer, full of herself and full of sh*t
4) NECRONOS – THE WITCH , the personified opportunist self centered evil (like politicians)
Other than that many roles I played were similar because I got so typecast to playing evil, deranged, rotten or psychotic characters.
Dai – You seem to have a theme with the type of characters you play. Do you prefer to stay within those confines or do you someday want to branch out beyond that and do something completely different from what you've done?
Manoush – Well I would definitely love to branch out as well as carry on playing the roles that I'm typecast for. I'm always open and excited about new challenges. But if someone asked me "would those evil roles satisfy you if you were only being offered that kind of roles and nothing else?" then the answer would be NO.
I love the roles that I'm typically getting booked for but I'm hungry for new challenges, new kinds of roles too.
Dai – Thank you for opening up with me today! Tell us what are some of your projects that you have coming up that we need to keep an eye out for and all the places we can check you out.
Manoush – I can only speak about one of the new movie projects for 2011 so far which will be a thriller called "Candy's Room", written and produced by Geraldine Winters and directed by Marc Vorlander .. other projects I'm not allowed to talk about yet, but I will keep you updated of course.
My facebook is:
You can check out and purchase one of the CUNT shirts at:
Dai let me add one more thing: Thank you so much for having me !!!
Dai – No way! Thank YOU for chatting with me! Best of luck to you and can't wait to see ya in the movies!
Who do you think are some of the sexiest male villains in horror films that may not be as talked about as some of their counterparts?Here were some of my favorite answers:
Arnold Vosloo – The Mummy
Anthony Hopkins – Silence Of The Lambs
Julian Sands – Warlock
David Hess – Last House On The Left
Duncan Regehr – The Monster Squad
Timothy Olyphant – Scream 2
Christian Bale – American Psycho
Ralph Fiennes – Red Dragon
Johnny Depp – Sweeny Todd
Stephan Dorff – Blade
Matthew Lillard – Scream
David Boreanez – Valentine
Robert DeNiro – Cape Fear
Paul Bergin – Sleeping With The Enemy
Funny enough, a few men actually helped more list the list some of the women. I love a guy who can be cemented in himself enough to help a couple chicks decide another male's attractiveness.
Thanks everyone who contributed!!
The beautiful Bianca Barnett was able to attend this years SXSW and has prepared a quick article for your cerebral pleasure!
I will let her take the helms now ;) :
As a teenage girl, I dreamed of indie star status, attending glamorous film festivals, and even considered pursuing a degree to become a director. Emily Hagins would have been my hero for at the ripe old age of 18, she has already directed four films. Her latest endeavor, My Sucky Teen Romance, is a clever parody of the modern day vampire frenzy seen through the eyes of actual teenagers. It was selected to premiere at the prestigious South by Southwest Festival in Austin, making Hagins the youngest director to premiere there.
I had the honor and pleasure of being asked to make a cameo in My Sucky Teen Romance as myself. Working with Hagins and her crew, you would think you were working with veteran Hollywood pros, not high school kids. Filming was efficient and punctual and though soft spoken, Hagins absolutely knows what she wants from an actor and how she wants a scene to unfold. If she keeps up at this pace, she unquestionably has a long and fruitful career ahead of her.
The premiere at the famous Paramount was definitely exciting as the film was the center of much buzz. Upon arrival, I was shocked to see the massive crowd and line wrap around the theater. Of course, this made me a bit anxious as it was the first time seeing the film and the first time seeing myself on the big screen. (Yes, I am one of THOSE actors.) Would I look ridiculous? Would the crowd like the gag? Would my foray into comedy fall flat on its face? Could I hold my own with this cast of talented young performers? Thankfully, the crowd erupted in laughter during my scene and there were even a few cat calls. Success! I was relieved and enjoyed the rest of the night with the cast and crew.
It was a wonderful and emotional experience to see Hagins have such a heartfelt response from her audience. I truly admire the gusto and ambition it took for her to make her dream come to fruition. There is no doubt in my mind that My Sucky Teen Romance will receive distribution and that Hagins' career has only just begun. I am thrilled for her future and look forward to what she comes up with next.
-Bianca Barnett
Thanks so much for that, Bianca! Make sure you guys take her advice and check it out!
Thankfully, I was able to attend the Red Carpet event at Dark Delicacies in Burbank, CA this past Thursday. Due to the horrible winds on the way up, it was uncertain if I could make it but Iput on my big girl pants and drove through the storm. (Yes, this is where you award me a metal. Haha)
Some of the special guests included:
Lance Hendrickson
Kevin Tenney
Leslie Easterbrook
Brett Wagner
James Duval
Brenda and Elisabeth Fies
John Savage
Josh Eisenstadt
Daniel Knauf
Ken Hall
(Plus many more)
With most of the headlining guests showing up, the event seemed to go off without a hitch. There was a section that fans could pay $10 and take a picture with their favorite celebrity on the red carpet along with being able to buy signed 8x10s. I was very impressed with the guests who were more than willing to sit there and talk with fans like they had been friends for years. A lot of money was raised for the people of Japan and a few mew friendships were formed. All in all, a very successful event. Thank you to Del and Sue, owners of Dark Delicacies, for being such amazing hosts once again.
To see all of the events that DD's puts on each month, visit www.DarkDel.com
That's just about all I have to say for this edition of DOTD so once again thank you SO much for stopping by and hanging out!
Have any questions, comments, suggestions, or hate mail?? Send them my way at email@example.com
I would love to hear from ya! Until the next time, lovies…Xox,


text:
Award Winning Biomega Nyc Bicycle
Acclaimed Designer Designs The Biomega Nyc Bicycle
The lead designer of the award winning work Acclaimed Designer's Biomega NYC Bicycle points out, The NYC follows Biomega's design principle of visibility, usability, longevity and integration. The head cover, brakes, gears and cables are integrated. The bike has an MTB front mudguard that's built in. The bike is optimized for the city and made in lightweight aluminum. It is chainless: The transmission is a belt drive. It is a high design lifestyle object meant to compete with cars of the same lifestyle rather than bikes..
Award Winning Biomega Nyc Bicycle Images:
End of the article, click here to go back to previous page, or alternatively go back to Award Winner homepage.


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Topic: Homebrew Charms (Read 11210 times)
Posts: 729
Homebrew Charms
February 04, 2002, 02:11:33 PM »
Anyone come up with their own Charms for their UW game? I put together a few based on breath.
Catch Your Breath
A mystical gesture- made while making a snatching grab at the victim's face. With a resisted headcount, you can capture your enemy's breath so long as you keep your snatching-hand clenched into a fist. If you loosen your grip at all, the breath slips out like an eel. While you've caught the breath, your enemy can't breathe. The charm ends when either you release your grip or the victim passes out. The catching hand can't be used for anything but holding onto the slippery breath, and the charm obviously can' tbe used on any creature which doesn't breathe (junckmen most notably).
Spit-Ball Magnum
A simple plastic soda straw, save that anything blown through it strikes with the velocity of a bullet. The Spit Ball Magnum only has the same range as a normal spit-ball straw, but fires with the same dull splat sound. A favorite Charm of subtle assassins.
Snorkle Scarf
Wrap one end of the scarf across your mouth and nose, and leave the other in breathable air, and you can breath normaly through the scarf regardless of the conditions. Most scarves are quite long (twenty feet or more), strong enough to support the weight of the average human, and pleasantly striped in a viority of intresting colors. The scarf is also quite effecient at filtering stenches and toxins out of otherwise breathable air.
Smoking Gun
A package of black-label cigerates. By blowing smoke from one into the face of a victim, serious injury may be inflicted. Each puff inflicts 3 coins of damage, but a wary oponent need only hold his breathe or turn away to avoid the attack. Smoking Guns are best used on unsuspecting victims. Damage from Smoking Guns manifests as black lungs, bronchitus, asthma, and heart attacks- the dangers of smoking magnified and concentrated. What these things do to the blokes who smoke them is best left unsaid, but a certain rackish class of Nomad Bravo seems to like them.
Pack of Luckies
Another enchanted pack of smokes. While smoke from of of these thrice-banded cigerates is held in the lungs, the user recieves the heads from a three head count as a bonus to any gambling attempt.
Black Spots
Yet another pack of magic cigerates. With a three coin head count yielding at least two heads, the smoker may become invisible while the inhale is maintained. Once the smoke is exhaled, the user reverts to visibility. This usual gives between fifteen and thirty seconds of invisibility, but Black Spots are remarkably effective. So long as an invisible smoker takes no violent action, no form of vision may percieve them. The surest way of detecting a Spot smoker, however, is the distinctive clove scent of the smoke.
I've got a couple more, but I'd like to hear what other folks have cooked up.
Posts: 148
Homebrew Charms
Reply #1 on:
February 04, 2002, 03:24:43 PM »
Well done.
I love these, especially the magic cigarettes. Fun stuff, that.
Gareth-Michael Skarka
Adamant Entertainment
Posts: 729
Homebrew Charms
Reply #2 on:
February 04, 2002, 10:11:50 PM »
Here are a couple more...
Angel Beret
A tatered red baret which bestows supernatural protection, almost as if the wearer is watched over by a Guardian Angel. The baret adds one coin to all attempts to resist malign supernatural power. Further, with a single haed on a three head count (made secretly by the Conductor), the Baret imparts a sense of imediate danger if bodily harm looms. This is enough to avoid being surprised by ambush, but no enough to gain further advantage in combat.
Moon Shades
A pair of scratched sun glases. When worn by a creature sensitive to sunlight (mole people, vampires, the more solid form of ghost), they cobvert all sunlight striking the wearer into moonlight, further, through the Moon Shades the sun actual apears to be the moon, thus preventing any kind of instinctual panic.
Bottled Demons
A very powerful charm. It seems to be a bottle of cheep whiskey, but so long as the local Radience is at least 1, it remains full regardless of how much is drunk. The stuff is harsh, nearly poison, and 100 prof. Some say it's laced with oil of wormwood like absenth or the blood of mushroom men, but regardless, when roaring drunk it always causes halucinations, and those halucinations become real. The creatures this summons are always horrific, but polite and helpful to the drinker. They are treated as Bravo Legendaries. A number of demon halucinations equal to the heads on a three coin toss apear. The disadvantage of this charm are obvious- you have to be roaring drunk to use it. The demons evaporate when the drinker sobers up.
Spirit Flask
Another enchanted drinking vessel. When filed with an alcoholic beverage, the flash allows immaterial beings (spirits ang ghosts) to drink it and become solid temporarily. Generaly, each swollow grants an hour of solidity, and the flask holds about ten. The solid spirit must remain in an area with at least 1 rad, or they revert to their ghostly forms.
Hudini's Coat
A tattered tuxedo jacket. With three coin toss, mundane items small enough to fit up the sleves of the coat can be produced with a flourish. They more heads, the more likely the user is to get what he wants. One coin will get a orange plastic toy gun, two a BB gun, and three a real derenger. Items produced from the coat vanish when no one is paying attention to them.
Roach Coat
A clicking incantation which must be uttered in darkness. It summons thousands of roaches, which interlink legs to form a living shell of armor for the user. This charm is more than a little disturbing to witness (and lets not even talk about the wacko who came up with it- rumor has it it can only be learned by listening very quietly when roaches pray). It provides the heads on a three head count as free levels of damage which must be bashed away before the wearer is hurt.
Spider Eyes
A similar charm to Roach Coat, save it summons spiders which drop from the celing and crawl across the user's face. Once done, they can be left where desired, and the user can see through their eyes. Spider vision is quite bad, so generaly clusters of spiders are required for any kind of clear picture. Each head on a three count represents enough spiders to bug one location. The spiders will forget their task after a few hours.
Grubby Hermes
So long as a pidgeon feather is tucked into each of the user's shoes, he suffers no injury from falls. Further, with at least two heads from three coins, he may fly short distances (for more than ten minutes) at a running pace.
Three Card Switch
Named for the typical use in three-card monte, this charm allows the user to imperceptably switch the location of two small, palm sized objects of minimal weight. The only restriction is that the user must know the location of both objcts which must not be more than a few feet apart.
Begger's Cant
There is a rythm, a sympatico which underlies all begging lines. Regardless of the actual words used, a character who grasps this rythm and can master it can sway those who hear. This charm adds thre coins to all attempts to solicit handouts.
Matt Machell
Posts: 477
Homebrew Charms
Reply #3 on:
March 20, 2002, 10:55:19 AM »
I was re-reading underworld the other day and this Charm popped into my head:
Can o' Whupass
Cans o' Whupass occur when a cola machine is set up on an underground platform with a particularly high rad count. The Radiance is absorbed into the cans, and mixes with the cola to form a particularly potent brew. When an entire can is drunk at one go, the combined effect of caffeine, sugar and Radiance produces a rush that boosts combat reflexes. The drinker gains an coin in combat for the next scene. Unfortunately the come down can be a bit harsh, with a headache that is very distracting (-1 coin on mental tasks for an hour afterwards).
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Reply #4 on:
March 20, 2002, 04:13:43 PM »
Time in a Bottle
Prepared by Lost, he is able to store one use of his TimeBending power into an ordinary BeerBottle. This allows a non-lost drinker of the bottle to user the Lost's timebending power once, usually for a few minutes, basically as long as the beerbuzz lasts. This would not be cumulative with any other Lost's, ie it wouldn't increase the effects of other Lost's effects.
Time Bomb
Same sort or preparation as the Time in a Bottle, but put into one of those little sample liqour bottles. When broken at the feet of another character/NPC, can inflict the inverse of the Lost's ability. IE, must declare first in combat and act last. Minus one coin on tasks requiring good timing. Lasts for a few seconds.
Thought up while listening to one of the songs on the Underworld Soundtrack.
David Howard
Posts: 13
Homebrew Charms
Reply #5 on:
March 27, 2002, 07:03:51 AM »
Quote from: Bailywolf
Here are a couple more...
Begger's Cant
There is a rythm, a sympatico which underlies all begging lines. Regardless of the actual words used, a character who grasps this rythm and can master it can sway those who hear. This charm adds thre coins to all attempts to solicit handouts.
Oh, Bravo! I had to delurk to let you know how magnificent that is. A magic spell that helps you beg for spare change... that's great! That's how urban fantasy is supposed to be.
"Men need play and danger. Civilization gives them work and safety."
Peter Hollinghurst
Posts: 44
Reply #6 on:
July 07, 2002, 02:27:21 AM »
Here is a charm based on a 'Grue' (a shocking rhyme based on the horrible fate of a child-once very popular).
slip a piece of paper into the victims possession on which is written:
"Little Willie on the track
Didnt hear the engines squeal
Now the engines comming back
Scraping Willie off the wheel."
the victim of this nasty charm becomes incapable of hearing or otherwise sensing trains while they have the charm on them-often resulting in a deadly accident if they are walking the subway tunnels.
less macabre is the spoken 'latch charm' (made popular as a game you play with babies) for opening latched doors:
"Knock on the door (knock on it)
Ring the bell (ring it-if there isnt one ring any bell)
Open the latch (trace your finger where the latch would rise)
And then walk in...(open the door)
in the game you tap the babies head, then pull their hair at the front, then pull the nose-and they open their mouth so you put your finger in it.
A charm for protection from diseases:
"circle, circle, dot, dot,
now you've got the cooties shot"
(inscribe the circles and dots on the persons arm while saying the charm)
A charm to make someone drop their weapons:
"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo,
Catch old Tojo by the toe,
If he hollers make him say,
I surrender, USA."
(popular in NYC during WW2)
Posts: 9
More charms!
Reply #7 on:
July 18, 2002, 11:51:33 AM »
"Sunglasses at Night"
A variant of the Beer Goggles- any dark tinted eyewear can be enchanted to allow the wearer to see in the dark.
This small gold tooth first showed up in the mouth of a demented homeless man who claimed that it gave him the ability to catch bullets in his teeth. He unfortunately did not survive the demonstration of this ability.. The tooth has since passed through several hands (and a few mouths) but no one else has put the tooth's magic to the test- if indeed it has any magic in at all.
Acts of Evil Playtesters
Posts: 1113
Master of the Inkstained Robes
Homebrew Charms
Reply #8 on:
June 04, 2003, 06:43:25 AM »
These were originally thought up for my UnderWorld: Bermuda Triangle game. I think I had more, but I can't find them:
This charm requires the user to put a starfish of sufficient size over their mouth and nose; if the charm is successfully activated, it allows the user to breathe air through the starfish for one hour per success tossed. It is the knowledge of how to prepare starfish for breathing, and can be used to allow others to breathe. (Minimum Radiance: 2)
This charm is deceptively simple - it creates subtitles in the user's native language under one person or scene. This allows anyone who can read the subtitles to understand what's being said, even if the language is normally indecipherable (or perhaps just too quiet/far away). (Minimum Radiance 1)[/b]
Alexander Cherry,
Twisted Confessions Game Design
Maker of many fine story-games!
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Words: Michael Barry Photographs: Timm Kölln
We spent more than six hours on our bikes and ascended two long climbs. Climbing for over half an hour, the tempo gradually reached the point of discomfort.
Few words were spoken. We both gazed at the road ahead, the peak in the distance, and focussed on the effort. It was December – we knew we should be reining in our effort.
But for Flecha, like me, that is something we find difficult. As in our childhood, we still both want to be on our bikes pushing our limits, which is not always the best for conditioning.
As we reached the summit of the first climb, I asked him if he wanted to ride to the next peak that we could see in the distance. The answer was a simple "yes".
Rod Ellingworth, our team coach, once summarised Flecha's training method. "He's not a rider who lacks the motivation to train hard. He knows what he needs to do to be fit.
"But he just needs guidance as to when he should back off his workload so that he doesn't arrive at the key races tired." Racing his bike is a job; riding it is a passion.
During the ride, we chatted incessantly about writing, races, bikes, cycling history, cars, our families, Catalonia and dozens of other things which I can't recall.
He writes well and has often contributed stories from races to Spanish newspapers. He has a profound interest in life beyond the bike. A mountain of novels always accompanies Flecha to a Grand Tour.
In the team bus or hotel, he leafs through books while his teammates tap away on their keyboards as they check results and chat with friends.
To him, the technology which seems to command many of our lives is simply a distraction from the essence. He is seeking simplicity and nature. But he can also be ferociously competitive when he has to be.
Three months before the Classics, he was already focused on the upcoming month of intense racing in the spring. He knew, based on experience, what he needed to do to be in good shape for the races.
With the guidance of the team's coaches and sports scientists, Flecha sought out what he thought would separate him from the rest.
Yet, like most top professional cyclists, he will resist new ideas until they are proven and effective. That caution is in part based on superstition and partly on common sense. There is data and then there is hope.
While most cyclists search for warmer climates to escape winter, Flecha spends weekends at his second home in Puigcerdà in the Pyrenees to sustain and improve his climbing.
Unafraid of the cold and wet, he rides while his girlfriend skis, his tyres making tracks in the snow. Cars loaded with skiers pass cautiously.
Despite the discomfort of frozen extremities and the risk of crashing, he finds peace and reason riding alone in the frozen environment.
Like his Flemish rivals, Flecha has learned to persist through inclement weather. He has conditioned his body to become accustomed to the cold and his mind to accept and even embrace it.
A true Classics rider will thrive in adversity. When asked if he prefers a wet or dry Classic, Flecha doesn't hesitate before answering: "Wet and muddy."
Wet roads separate the skilled riders from the hopeful. Flecha seems to have battled adversity since he was a boy, following his dreams despite the hurdles of life.
Prior to the Ronde, Flecha was the focal point of our team press conference. The media fired questions at him. They asked about his past, crashes he had been involved in, his rivals, his tactics and his potential.
He deflected criticisms by asking the journalists rhetorical questions. It was apparent in his answers that he felt his nationality hindered him in a xenophobic peloton.
He is burdened with the generalisation that Spaniards can't handle their bikes on the cobbles and, as a result, don't belong on the front when there are cobbles. Often blamed for causing crashes, Flecha feels he is scapegoated because of his nationality.
There is truth to this. But like any minority working to fit into a class system based on nationality and performance, he has never felt as accepted or respected by his peers when racing in northern Europe.
It is his tenacity that makes him thrilling to watch on a bike. He will resist and persist, only backing down when it is on his terms.
Extract from Rouleur issue 21. Michael Barry is a former professional cyclist and author of Le Metier, available from the Rouleur shop.


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GORM Labs
compile "org.grails.plugins:gorm-labs:0.8.5"
grails install-plugin gorm-labs
GORM Labs
InfoThis plugin is a playground of potential new GORM functionality. It provides a wide series of enhancements to the way that GORM works. Although the APIs provided here are tested, they may be subject to change if the API is found to be lacking or awkward. If such changes do occur, it will be first with logging messages (at DEBUG) notifying people how to change their code to adapt.
Functionality Provided
assertSavedIn a GrailsUnitTestCase, you can now run "assertSaved" and the object will attempt to be saved, with failures giving you a particularly useful error message.
If there is a request to add this to some other class (perhaps a parent of GrailsUnitTestCase?), let me know.
assertSaved(new Feature(featureId:1, name:'test', type:featureType, status:'EDIT'))
Opt-In Transactional ActionsA controller can now specify actions that should be transactional by setting the "transactional" property:
All actions can become transactional by specifying:
class FooController { static transactional = ['index'] def index = { assert new Foo().save() if(params.explode) rollback() render "${Foo.count()}" }}
That "transactional" property can also be per-instance and may be artificial ("boolean getTransactional()" or "Collection getTransactional()"), should you feel like having that kind of customization.As demonstrated in the example, any transactional action can signal a rollback by calling "rollback()" — when the action completes, the transaction will be rolled back.
static transactional = true
Aggregate Static Properties
- Domain classes now have static properties of the form ".minPropName", ".maxPropName", ".avgPropName", ".sumPropName", ".countPropName", ".countDistinctPropName" that query the database using those aggregate functions.
Now has the following properties:
class Foo { int bar }
Foo.minBar Foo.maxBar Foo.avgBar Foo.sumBar Foo.countBar Foo.countDistinctBar
.connection, .sql, .session, .flush()Domain classes now have a static "connection" property which provides direct access to the underlying database connection, a "sql" property which provides a groovy.sql.Sql, and a "session" property that gives the current Hibernate session. There is also a "flush()" method that flushes the session.
- There is now an abbreviated version of "executeQuery" called "query". It assumes you're querying based on properties hanging off of the object without any joins: just specify the HQL "where" clause. The rest of the arguments behave exactly like "executeQuery".
...is the same as…
Foo.query("bar.someBarProperty = ? and (baz = 0 or baz = ?)",
['bar', 1], [max:10])
Foo.executeQuery(""" from $Foo.name where bar.someBarProperty = ? and (baz = 0 or baz = ?) """, ['bar', 1], [max:10])
- The "toString" method of the "errors" domain class property, along with object and field errors, has been modified to provide a human-readable message. This is done through the same i18n look-up that the Grails view logic does.
- The "errors" domain class property also will look up field errors as a property look-up:
foo.errors.bar // Retrieves errors that occurred on "bar" property
Order Criteria Expressions
- Criteria can now be ordered by child objects, assuming you can navigate to them directly (has-one/belongs-to relationships only). So if there's a domain class "Foo" that has a "bar" object with a "baz" property, you can fetch all the Foo objects sorted by their bar.baz by going:
Foo.withCriteria {
Session Object Dehydration
- Objects dumped into the session can eat up a lot of space and lead to annoying problems (like LazyInitializationExceptions). This capability will save and dehydrate objects after the request ends and will rehydrate them when a new request comes in. While this reduces session size and solves the LazyInitializationException issue, it also means that bogus modifications to domain objects will be lost (the save will fail, and the retrieve happens).
- Currently, only top-level session domain objects, or domain objects stashed in maps, lists, or some combination thereof (maps of lists of lists of maps of maps of lists...) will be dehydrated.
- Objects that have not been saved (i.e. for whom the "id" property is false) will not be dehydrated. This means objects you're building won't be dehydrated as long as they are not saved.
- To enable Session Object Dehydration, set the following in Config.groovy:
gormLabs.dehydrateSession = true
Paginated HasMany PropertiesFor every "hasMany" property, there is now an associated method that takes pagination properties ("offset" and "max") and produces the appropriate page. There is also a "countBars" instance property that will provide the total size of the "bars" collection. This is all done with a separate database query if the collection has not been initialized previously, so you can avoid loading all the elements of the collection.It's important to realize that the default "hasMany" mapping is as a Set, in which case the concept of pagination doesn't really apply. The method will attempt to cope with a Set, but you aren't guarantied to get consistent results between pagination calls.
class DomainWithChildren { static hasMany = [children:ChildOfDomain] List children }class ChildOfDomain { int value }def fixture = new DomainWithChildren() (1..10).each { fixture.addToChildren(new ChildOfDomain(value:it)) } assertEquals("Count is off", 10, fixture.countChildren) def result = fixture.children(max:2, offset:2)*.value assertEquals("Size is off", 2, result.size()) assertEquals("First value is of", 3, result[0]) assertEquals("Second value is of", 4, result[1])
gormlabs.Gorm classThere is a class called "gormlabs.Gorm": any static method that can be called on a domain class can be called on "gormlabs.Gorm". The application must have at least one domain class in order for Gorm to work, however.
On the DocketHere are the things I'd like to add to GORM Labs:
- Possibly inject Gorm into artefacts?
- find-or-create—Something like:
MyDomain.findByBar(bar, [create:true, flush:true, properties:[newb:42]])
- "save or exception", "save and flush" method
- countByQuery
- use c3p0 by config
- default value reflected in schema
- auto-save if transient object assigned
- auto-set relationships
- acts_as_tree
- "as Map" on domain classes
- assertSaveFailsOn domain, fieldName
- Automatic quoting of table names
- Auto-inject "dateCreated" and "lastUpdated"
- Automatic excludes on "bindData" based on "excludeProprties".
- Has Many Through
- assertSave in GroovyTestCase and GrailsUnitTestCase
- always check for transients save
- executeQuery returns lists of lists, not lists of arrays
- deleteBy
- Filters a la:
Important Implementation DetailSince 0.6.5, GORM Labs immediately invokes a bogus method (
thisIsATotallyBogusMethodPlacedHereJustToTriggerGORMHydration() ) in order to circumvent the lazy initialization of GORM methods via the
methodMissing handler. That magic was a hold-over from a time when meta-object mangling was much slower, and experiments on 1.1.1 show that the start-up time penalty is pretty minimal. That lazy initialization behavior lead to much more complicated (and expensive) extensibility, as well as to a number of bugs, such as http://jira.codehaus.org/browse/GRAILS-4580. It also made metaObject querying basically lie to you if you asked before or after hydration. Basically, life is better without it.
Notes for Aspiring Contributors
- As of this point, all of the logic to mangle the domain classes is dumped straight into GormLabsGrailsPlugin.groovy -- this is sub-optimal, and I'd like to create some conventional way of attaching new functionality to domain classes.


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Philadelphia Phillies – Year 7: Dropping back down to fourth place.
The Phillies would begin their seventh year of existance trying to rebound from the previous season drop in the standings, as their manager, Harry Wright, would begin his sixth season as the Phillies' skipper.
As the Phillies continue to play their home games in their home ballpark, the Philadelphia Base Ball Grounds, change is in the air in the National League as the league would be in a constant state of flux that will last the next several years. Early in the 1888 off-season, the Detroit Wolverine franchise would fold, it place in the National League to be taken by the American Association Cleveland Blues, who would soon change their name to the Cleveland Spiders. The league would then adopt a five-tier salary structure which would help to determine how much each player is paid. This move by the owners would have repercussions within two years, as it would lead to the Players' revolt of 1890. Early in 1889, the National League would take control of the debt-ridden Indianapolis Hoosiers before an ownership group would finally take contol of the franchise. The Phillies' opponents for the new season, besides the new Spiders and the Hoosiers, under new management, would be the Beaneaters, the Giants, the Nationals, the Alleghenys, and the White Stockings.
The Phillies would begin the 1889 regular season on Wednesday, April 24, against the Nationals in Washington, which the Phillies would win, 8-4, putting them in a tie for first place with the Beaneaters, the Hoosiers and the Alleghenys. The Phillies would then go home for a twenty-eight games home stand against all of their rivals, where they would play four straight four-games series with the Beaneaters, the Giants, the Nationals, the White Stockings, a two-games series with the Hoosiers, two straight four-games series with the Spiders and the Alleghenys and finally a second two-games series with the Hoosiers, which would last through the entire month of May. The Phillies would end April by splitting the first two games of their four-games series with the Beaneaters, losing 8-3, and then winning 7-6, ending April with a 2-1 record, in third place, trailing both the Giants and the Alleghenys by half a game.
The Phillies would begin May the same way they had ended April, by splitting the last two games of their four-games series with Boston, ending the series with a 2-2 record, while staying in third place as they now trailed the first place Giants by a game and a half. In their four-game series with their rival, the Giants, the Phillies would take three of the four games, including 9-4 and 11-2 victories in the first two games of the series, before being clobbered 13-9 in the series' third game, putting them in a first place tie with the Beaneaters, half a game ahead of both the now third place Giants and the fourth place Alleghenys. The Phils would then proceed to split their series with the Nationals, which would keep them tied with Boston for first and still half a game ahead of the Giants. The Phils would then win their four-games series with their main western rival, the White Stockings, 3-1, as they fall into second place in the standings, a full game behind the first place Beaneaters. They would then sweep their two games with the Hoosiers, which keep them a game behind Boston in the standings. They would then win the first game of their four-games with the Spiders, giving them a five-games winning streak, before they would lose the next three games, thus losing the series to Cleveland, 1-3, as they fall three and a half games behind Boston, while staying in second place. The Phillies would then rebound, winning the first three games in their four-games series with the Alleghenys, including a doubleheader split on May 30, winning the opener by the score of 13-6, before losing the 'nightcap' by the score of 10-6. They would then sweep their second straight doubleheader, this one against the Hoosiers on May 31, by the scores of 11-8 and 11-4, thus ending the home stand with a record of 18-10 and the month with a 17-9 record. Their overall record of 19-10 would keep them in second place, now two and a half games behind the first place Beaneaters.
The Phillies would start off June by playing a four-games series with first place Beaneaters in Boston. The series would be a disaster, as they would lose the first three games in the series by scores of 7-2, 10-6 and 4-2, before leaving Boston with a 5-4 win, which would put the still second place Phils behind Boston by four and a half games. The Phillies would next play two straight three-games series with the Nationals, with the first three to be played in Philadelphia, and then the latter three in Washington, as part of a six-cities, twenty-two-games road trip to New York (2), Chicago (4), Cleveland (4), Pittsburgh (5) and Indianapolis (4), that would take the balance of June and the start of July to complete. The Phillies would win both of their series against the Nationals, going 2-1 both at home and in Washington, which would include a split of their third doubleheader of the season, losing the first game 6-3, and then winning the 'nightcap' 7-5. The Phillies would drop down to third place as they head for New York, a game behind the third place Spiders and three and a half games behind league leading Boston. The Phils would end up being swept in New York, which would drop them five and a half games behind the Beaneaters. The Phillies would then go to Chicago, where they would split their four-games series with the White Stockings, as they would now trail Boston by eight games, as the Beaneaters would appear to be running away from the rest of the league. The Phillies would next go to Cleveland, visiting the city for the first time since the collapse of the original Cleveland Blues franchise in 1884. The Phillies would end up losing the series to the Spiders, 1-3, which would dropped the Phils into fourth place, still trailing the Beaneaters by eight games, as the Giants would jump over them into third place. The Phils would then go to Pittsburgh, where their losing streak would increase to four games, including a doubleheader lost on June 29 by the score of 3-2 and 8-0. The Phillies would end June with an 8-15 losing record, and an overall record of 27-25, eight and a half games behind Boston in fourth place.
The Phillies would start July by losing the last two games of their series with Pittsburgh, losing the five-games series as their losing streak rises to six games, as they now trail Boston by nine and a half games. The Phillies would finally break their losing streak by winning the first game of their July 4th doubleheader with the Hoosiers, winning by the score of 5-4, before losing the 'nightcap' 6-0. They would then split the last two games in Indianapolis, splitting the series, as they would end the road trip with a losing record of 7-15, as they now trailed Boston by nine games, as they stayed a half game ahead of fifth place Chicago. The Phillies would then go back home to begin a seventeen-games home stand with the Hoosiers (3), White Stockings (2), the Spiders (3), the Alleghenys (3), the Giants (3) and the first place Beaneaters (3). The Phillies would start the home stand off with a seven-games winning streak as they would sweep first the Hoosiers, then the White Stockings, before the Spiders would finally end the winning streak by beating the Phils in the final game of their three-games series, 9-4. Their seven games winning streak would place the Phillies six games behind the Beaneaters, before their lost and Boston's doubleheader sweep of the Hoosiers the next day would push them back to seven and a half games behind. The Phillies would then sweep their series with Pittsburgh and New York, which would put them four and a half game behind Boston as the Beaneaters came to town. The Phillies would proceed to lose the first two games with Boston, thus losing the series, 1-2, as they now trail the first place Beaneaters by five and a half games, as they moved into third place, a half game ahead of the Spiders and two games behind New York, as they end the home stand with a record of 14-3. The Phillies would then go back onto the road for a six-cities, thirteen-games road trip to Boston (2), New York (2), Pittsburgh (2), Cleveland (2), Chicago (3) and Indianapolis (2). The Phillies would start their road trip in Boston, where they would be swept by the Beaneaters, ending the month with a 16-9 record and with an overall record of 43-34, seven and a half games behind Boston, and tied for third place with Cleveland (who have played one game more than the Phils, which ended up as a tie.).
The Phillies would begin August still on the road as they visit rival New York, where they would be swept by the Giants as their losing streak rises to four games, as they fall to eight games behind, technically in third place as they lead the Spiders by .001. The Phillies would then sweep their series with the Alleghenys, before splitting their series with the Spiders, as they now trailed the Beaneaters by six and a half games, while in third place by themselves. The Phillies would then go to Chicago, where they would win the series with their western rival, 2-1, before heading on to Indianapolis, where they would split the series with the Hoosiers, ending the road trip with a respectible 6-7 record, seven games behind the Beaneaters, who were now trying to fight off a challenge for first from the Giants. The Phillies then went home for a short three-games series with the Nationals, which the Phillies would win, 2-1, as they now trailed Boston by seven and a half games. The Phillies then went back onto the road for a five-games series in New York, which they would lose to the Giants, 1-4, as they played two straight doubleheaders with them, splitting the first one on August 23, losing the first game, 7-3, before winning the 'nightcap' 11-2. They would then be swept in the doubleheader played on the 24, by the scores of 10-8 and 8-3. The Phils would stay in third place, but now trailing Boston by nine and a half games. They would then go home to face the Beaneaters for three games, seeing their losing streak go up to four games, before finally winning the series' final game, as they lose the series, 1-2, as the Phillies now trailed the Beaneaters by ten and a half games. The Phillies then go back onto the road for three games with the Nationals, where they would lose the series, 0-1-1, tying the series' middle game by the score of 2-2, as they would end the month with a record of 10-14-1, while having an overall record of 53-48-1, eleven and a half game behind Boston, and a half-game ahead of fourth place Chicago.
In September, the Phils would play a ten-games home stand with the White Stockings (4), the Spiders (3), the Alleghenys (1) and the Hoosiers (2). The Phillies would lose the series with their western rival, the White Stockings, 1-3, which would include a doubleheader split on the 2, losing the first game, 2-1, before winning the 'nightcap' 3-2. The series would see the Phillies drop back into fourth place, now twelve and a half games behind both Boston and New York, who were in a mathematical tie for first place, and a game and a half behind now third place Chicago. The Phils would then go on a five-games winning streak, sweeping their series with the Spiders, and then winning their one-game series with the Alleghenys, before splitting their doubleheader with the Hoosiers on the 14, winning the opener, 11-3, then losing the second game, 10-7, thus ending their home stand with a 6-4 record, as they regained third place, now twelve games behind Boston and three and a half games ahead of the fourth place White Stockings. The Phillies would then go to Boston for a three games series, which they would lose to the Beaneaters, 1-2, leaving them still twelve games behind the Beaneaters and the Giants, with the Giants leading by .003. The Phillies then went back home for a five-games series with the Giants, which they would lose 0-4-1, which would include a doubleheader split on the 20, as they would lose the first game, 5-1, then would be tied in the 'nightcap', 4-4. The Phillies were now sixteen and a half games behind the Giants, who were now a game ahead of Boston in the pennant race. The Phillies would now go onto the road for the rest of the season, to play eleven games in four cities, with three games in Cleveland, three in Pittsburgh, two in Indianapolis and the final three games of the season in Chicago. The Phillies would win the series in Cleveland, going 2-1, as they now trailed the Giants by seventeen and a half games. The Phils would then go to Pittsburgh, where they would be swept by the Alleghenys, ending the month of September with an 8-14-1 record, while their overall record went to 61-62-2, placing them in a mathematical tie with the White Stockings for third place.
In October, the Phillies would start the month off with a sweep of the Hoosiers, placing them a half game ahead of Chicago as the two teams now fought over third place, while the Phils now trailed both New York and Boston by eighteen games, as those two teams fought for the league's crown. The Phillies would go to Chicago, and would end the first game in their three-games series in a 5-5 tie. They would then lose the final two games of the season to the White Stockings, ending the month with a record of 2-2-1, while their road trip would end with a record of 4-6-1, as they end the season in fourth place with a record of 63-64-3, a winning percentage of .496, a game and a half behind third place Chicago and twenty and a half games behind the league's winner, the New York Giants, who would win the pennant on the last day of the regualr season.
The Phillies would play 130 games, with a home-road record of 43-24-1 at home and 20-40-2 on the road. They would play in front of 281,869 fans at home. They would have winning records with only three teams, with their best record being 13-4 against the Hoosiers, while also having losing records against three teams, with their worst being against the Beaneaters at 6-13. They would also have a 9-9 record with the Alleghenys. The Phillies would be 4-10 in shut outs, 17-13 in one-run games, and 21-24 in blowouts.
Offensively, they would end up being around the middle of the pack, ending up second in 2Bs (215), third in stolen bases (269), fourth in at-bats (4695), home runs (44) and batting average (.266), fifth in runs scored (742), hits (1248), on-base percentage (.323) and slugging percentage (.362), seventh in triples (52) and walks (393) and eighth in strike outs (353), as well as knocking in 605 RBIs, while 35 batters were hit by the pitch. Among pitching staffs, the Phils would also be near the middle of the league, as they would lead the league in home runs given up with 33, be third in saves (2) and strikeouts (443), fourth in runs allowed (748), fifth in ERA (4.00), innings pitched (1153), hits allowed (1288) and walks (428), sixth in shut outs (4), and eighth in complete games (106), while finishing twenty-four other games, giving up 512 earned runs, forty-seven wild pitches, and hitting twenty-seven batters.
Among the batters, Sam Thompson would lead the team in batting average (.296), slugging percentage (.492), total plate appearances (575), hits (158), total bases (262), doubles (36), home runs (20), where he was the league leader and RBIs (111), while Jim Fogarty would lead in on-base percentage (.352), runs scored (107), triples (17), walks (65), strikeouts (60), stolen bases (99), also leading the league in that category and hit by the pitch (7), Sid Farrar in games played (130), and Joe Mulvey in at-bats (544) and singles (121). Among the pitchers, Charlie Buffington would lead the pitching staff in ERA (3.24), wins (28), winning percentage (.636), games pitched (47), games started (43), complete games (37), shutouts (2), innings pitched (280), home runs allowed (10), walks (121), wild pitches (15) and batters faced (1661), while Kid Gleason and Ben Sanders would be tied for first with one save each, Sanders would also lead in hits allowed (406), losses (18) and earned runs allowed (138), and Gleason would lead in hit batters (9) and games finished (7). The Phillies would have only one twenty-game winner in 1889, Charlie Buffington, who would go 28-16, as Ben Sanders would just miss it, as he would go 19-18.
With the 1889 season over, the Phillies would have their first losing season since 1884, although staying in the first division for the fifth straight season under Harry Wright's tenure. As the Phillies once again try to figure out what they would need to do to finally win a pennant, the Giants would face the Brooklyn Bridegrooms of the American Association in a post-season playoff, which the Giants would win 6-3, beginning what would become a long standing rivalry between the two clubs, as Brooklyn would join the National League for the following season, along with the Cincinnati Red Stockings (now the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Cincinnati Reds, respectively), as they would replace the just folded Nationals and Hoosiers franchises. Meanwhile, the Brotherhood of Professional Base Ball Players, the players' union, still upset over the restructuring of the players' salary structure, would formally revolt against the owners with the formation of the Players' League on December 16. The players' revolt would within two years have an outcome not expected by any of the players who would join any of the teams in the new league or those who would remain in either the NL or AA, or among the teams' owners.
Sources: Wikipedia, Baseball Almanac.com, Retrosheet.org, Baseball-reference.com


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Oscars' time is fast approaching! As we countdown to cheer on our favorite celebrities and check out what they rock to the red carpet, we also can't help but acknowledge that Latino nominees were pretty much non-existent this year. We are taking matters into our own hands with our signature Latino recast. Hollywood can sure use more diversity! Check out our picks and let us know what you think!
1. oscars slide1
Bradley Cooper – Silver Linings Playbook
Nominated for "Lead Actor"
Latino recast: Freddy Rodriguez
Cooper may have nailed his role as a man with bipolar disorder, but there's no doubt that Rodriguez would deliver a gritty and compelling depiction of Pat Solitano. The 38-year-old actor's role as the restorative artist Federico on HBO's hit series, Six Feet Under, proved that he could play a man recovering from a crippled marriage and attempting to rebuild his life.
2. oscars slide 2
Hugh Jackman – Les Misérables
Nominated for "Lead Actor"
Latino recast: Ricky Martin
Who can deny that the Puerto Rican star was born to play Jean Valjean? The father-of-two rocked his performance as Che in the Broadway revival of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical, Evita, and has sold over 60 million albums worldwide. Yes, his resume rocks!
3. oscars slide 3
Daniel Day-Lewis – Lincoln
Nominated for "Lead Actor"
Latino recast: Demián Bichir
Day-Lewis has dominated every award show thus far for his spot-on depiction of Lincoln in the hit period piece focusing on his commitment to abolish slavery. Bichir naturally shares the same talent, height, and looks to pull the role off. The Mexican actor also won our hearts in his role as Carlos Galindo in the drama, A Better Life.
4. oscars slide 4
Denzel Washington – Flight
Nominated for "Lead Actor"
Latino recast: Laz Alonso
Denzel's star power and professional demeanor is hard to match, but we think Laz would bring the same qualities to the screen. The Cuban actor has starred in over 20 films and is currently serving up the drama in the new NBC series, Deception. Yes, he needs more camera time and fast!
5. oscars slide 5
Jessica Chastain – Zero Dark Thirty
Nominated for "Lead Actress"
Latina recast: Zoe Saldana
The historical drama highlights Chastain's character as a no-nonsense CIA agent who focuses on tracking down Osama bin Laden. We can totally picture Zoe taking over this ass-kicking role thanks to her previous big-screen performances in Colombiana and The Losers.
6. oscars slide 6
Jennifer Lawrence – Silver Linings Playbook
Nominated for "Lead Actress"
Latina recast: Naya Rivera
Naya has the looks and talent to become a lead actress on the big-screen. There's no doubt the half-Puerto Rican actress would shine in Jennifer's role as Tiffany Maxwell, a recent widow who attempts to restart her life by joining a dance competition. Yes Gleeks, we know you agree!
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Naomi Watts – The Impossible
Nominated for "Lead Actress"
Latina recast: Penelope Cruz
The Spanish drama based on the tragic tsunami in Thailand in 2004 was gripping and the acting was certainly nailed by Watts. However, we are confident that Penelope would have delivered an equally authentic performance of Maria.
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Emmanuelle Riva – Amour
Nominated for "Lead Actress"
Latina recast: Rita Moreno
While Riva, 85, may make history as the older Oscar winner in history, Moreno has already made it in the record books for being the only Latina to have won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony, and Academy Award. Who can beat that?
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Amy Adams – The Master
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actress"
Latina recast: JoAnna Garcia Swisher
Because of Swisher's striking resemblance to Adams, we can totally picture her playing the wife of a cult leader in this award-winning drama. While she's best known for playing Cheyenne on Reba, we would love to see the part-Cuban actress star in more dramatic roles.
10. oscars slide 10
Sally Field – Lincoln
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actress"
Latina recast: Elizabeth Peña
Filling the role of First Lady Mary Todd is a tough job, but Peña's acting skills would live up to the challenge. The Cuban actress is a veteran in Hollywood and has been performing since the 1970's. Yes, she would have this one in the bag!
11. oscars slide 11
Anne Hathaway - Les Misérables
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actress"
Latina recast: Alexis Bledel
Playing Fantine, a struggling factory worker and single mother, is without a doubt a role of a lifetime. Anne rocked it out in the musical without having much singing experience, which mean our girl Alexis would be able to do the same. Besides, she has been trying to break away from her Gilmore Girls image with grittier roles. This would have been perfect!
12. oscars slide 12
Helen Hunt – The Sessions
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actress"
Latina recast: Cameron Diaz
Helen plays a 40-something sex surrogate who is hired by a disabled man in this compelling film. She also stars in several sex scenes and embraces her sexuality with full force. Cameron's experience with a wide-range of roles and her delivery in films like, Being John Malkovich, would definitely add to this character's depth.
13. oscars slide 13
Jacki Weaver - Silver Linings Playbook
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actress"
Latina recast: Joanna Kerns
Who better to play Robert De Niro's wife and Bradley Cooper's mother than one of the most famous mom's in sitcom history? Kerns, who played Maggie Seaver on the hit show Growing Pains, really could have snagged this one from Weaver.
14. oscars slide 14
Alan Arkin – Argo
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actor"
Latino recast: Miguel Sandoval
Arkin's witty and genius interpretation of the film producer Lester Siegel is irreplaceable, but Sandoval's roles in Get Shorty and Blow definitely make him a contender in our eyes.
15. oscars slide 15
Robert de Niro – Silver Linings Playbook
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actor"
Latino recast: Hector Elizondo
Now we know, it's hard to match De Niro's swagger. He plays Bradley Cooper's unemployed dad Patrizio "Pat Sr." Solitano in the hit flick. He masters the role perfectly, but we could easily envision Elizondo taking over the role. Besides, he was an awesome fatherly figure to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
16. oscars slide 16
Philip Seymout Hoffman – The Master
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actor"
Latino recast: Luis Guzman
Hoffman plays Lancaster Dodd, a leader of a movement called 'the cause,' in the drama also starring Joaquin Phoenix (also nominated). His character's strong presence on-screen would be a great fit for Guzman. Generally known for his sidekick roles, the Puerto Rican actor would really be able to showcase his raw talent.
17. oscars slide 17
Tommy Lee Jones – Lincoln
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actor"
Latino recast: Javier Bardem
Thaddeus Stevens, played by Lee Jones, has a sarcastic and dominant presence that demands the screen in the historical piece. Bardem, who won the Academy Award for No Country for Old Men, would easily step in and master this role to perfection.
18. oscars slide 18
Christoph Waltz – Django Unchained
Nominated for "Best Supporting Actor"
Latino recast: Esai Morales
Dr. King Schultz, a dentist slash bounty hunter, is deceivingly dangerous in Quentin Tarantino's unforgettable drama about slavery in the south. We know he has played a cop dozen of times, but Morales' experience with action roles makes him a winner in this recast.


text:
Rudyard Kipling
Rudyard Kipling (30 December 1865 – 18 January 1936 / Bombay)
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The Beginning Of The Armadilloes
I've never sailed the Amazon,
I've never reached Brazil;
But the Don and Magdalena,
They can go there when they will!
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