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The Dark Truth
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jul 26, 2020
No one enjoys being made the fool. People don't go into relationships, hoping to get fucked over, but it does happen; it's a fact of life. While some have been lucky enough to not have had to experience being the victim of infidelity while others can't seem to avoid it, no matter what they do. The dark truth is most of the time, there's nothing that can be done to prevent it.
That being said, trying to investigate every little inconsistency or weird inkling is a waste of time. Trying to catch someone doing dirty shit or preventing nasty shit from happening is destructive and unproductive; if it's going to happen, it'll happen, and all the control and preventative measures you employ won't stop it.
All the accusations and investigating. Text-snooping, phone-checking, and stalking their email. You'll look like a fucking psycho, contacting everyone on their social media page, trying to figure out who they are and if they're doing anything with them. Keeping tabs on your partner is ridiculous and an unnecessary strain on your relationship. There's also a risk to your physical health and well-being. Trying to prove someone's guilt or prevent being cheated on can lead to both emotional and physical problems. Stress-related issues. High blood pressure. Ulcers. Migraines. Digestive problems. Eating disorders. Depression; even suicidal thoughts can manifest themselves in the most extreme cases. Is it REALLY worth it? For something, you can't prevent it. You can't control what someone else does; if they're going to fuck up, they're going to fuck up. Are you genuinely willing to put yourself through some shit, possibly for something that may not even be happening?
There's some truth to the belief that if there's a feeling, there has to be a valid reason, but what about those people who are actually innocent? What's even worse is when you're wrong, and you find out you're wrong. How do you rectify all the bullshit you just put someone through only to find out they're just as faithful as you've been? What can you do to make things better? If you're right about your suspicions, the relationship's over. If you're wrong, you run the same risk, all for something you couldn't manage, even if you wanted to. Once the lines of trust and doubt have been crossed, the journey back will be a difficult one. You are trying to reconcile from infidelity or redeem yourself from false accusations.
No matter how hard you try, you're not going to keep someone from fucking you over, if they intend to do so. If they truly want to step out on the relationship, it's going to happen, with or without your permission or how hard you try to prevent it. Being a strong-minded, confident person will allow for an easier recovery when things do go wrong. The ability to heal from whatever happened should be more of a focus than the investigation.
People will go so far as to enlist the help of others to catch their partner doing dirty shit. Men and women will convince their friends to make a move on their partner; the drawback is when they end up choosing the absolute wrong person for assistance. That shit will definitely end up backfiring on you. The mission of your so-called "Spy" was just to deliver an innuendo or a few flirtatious invitations, not knowing their goal was to break you up for their benefit. They'll take it too far, go out on the proposed date, fuck your partner, then claim they did it for you. Where YOU become the dumbass is when you ignore the fact they went out and fucked your partner because you're so focused on proving you were right all along.
While you're so busy, trying to catch your partner doing dirty shit, you may miss out on some shit that's going on right in front of your face. One of your friends is trying to get what you have. You're so wrapped up in your investigation that one person you're confiding in could be feeding you bullshit or putting themselves in a position to become their next option when your psychosis has gotten the better of you, and your present relationship ends. Then you're stuck wondering what the fuck happened when all along, nothing was going on, and you fucked up the best relationship you ever had, trying to play inspector. The fact of the matter is that if they WERE doing you wrong, good riddance; if they weren't, you sent them to the arms of the same person who was trying to drive a wedge between you in the first place.
If it's going to happen, it'll happen, no matter what you do. If you're not ready to let things run their course without being suspicious 24/7, maybe you're not prepared to be in any relationship. Maybe you're hurting from something that happened between you and your partner you thought you could get past; perhaps you're still hurting from a past relationship. In any case, make sure you've healed from your past before bringing the unnecessary baggage from your past to your present; rest assured, it'll fuck up your future.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jul 19 2020
It's over, and you both know it, but you can't make the break; finances, kids, shared expenses, obligation, fear, or comfort. To everyone else, you're the perfect couple; you don't fight, argue, or react to negativity or drama. That's because you don't care; there are no accusations, suspicions, or interrogations. You do you, and they do the same. As long as the bills get paid, it's all good. Everyone's jealous of what seems like a flawless match.
Why can't you make the break? Perhaps it's the thrill of having the best of both worlds; she gets to maintain her relationship with you and take her time finding and meeting your replacement. She can cultivate a relationship with someone else without rushing in or jumping out of one right into another. He gets to go out, meet other women and fuck around, but can still come home to fuck if he strikes out. They both know the other's halfway out the door, and it doesn't phase or bother either of you because she knows he's meeting, dating, and fucking other women. He knows she's seeing someone, somebody's already showing interest in her, or she has someone in mind. They have an unspoken agreement not to bring those people around their kids or to the home they share.
Neither of you can really afford to move out or live on your own. You'd rather live in a house together than an apartment by yourself. You feel the kids need to have both parents under the same roof. Whatever the reason or reasons are, you're roommates who fuck; in-house FWB. It makes sense to the two of you, but don't seem to understand why others have an issue with it, or why they won't date you. The thought of living with the person you're halfway in a relationship with doesn't cross your mind at all.
On the outside, you act like things are great, but you know they're not. You both put on a happy face when you leave the house. Your relationship is fun, laughter, and the envy of those you know. You're the perfect match for each other at your respected workplace functions. You're all about respect and courtesy. What they don't see is what happens behind closed doors; you barely speak, and you're always off, doing your own things.
You're playing house, no different than when you were young children. You act like a couple, but you know that shit isn't real. There are a mommy, daddy, and kids. The difference now is the play kitchen's real, your place is real, the kids are real, and when you're bored and tired of playing, the game's over.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jul 5, 2020
Addiction to porn is something most couples go through at some point in their relationship. Where one person would rather sit in front of a screen and fantasize about being with someone or somewhere else, having some type of sex they're not getting at home, for whatever reason. Without getting into the reasons why someone would choose the world of make-believe over a flesh-and-blood partner, society views porn as something vile and revolting; something to be ashamed of. I don't agree. True, it can easily get out of hand and become addictive; but so can video games, sports, soap operas, reality television, social media, the list goes on. Anything in moderation can be both entertaining and harmless; keeping it in moderation is what people seem to have issues with.
What happens when you can't control what you eat? How much you eat? Overindulgence in everything from food to cellphone usage can have addicting effects on people. While some can't even leave the house for 15 minutes without their cell phone. To those who can't even eat a damn pastry, without snapping a picture of a fucking cupcake and uploading to social media. Too much of anything has the potential to be harmful in one way or another. Porn is no exception.
That being said, when speaking inside the realm of moderation, porn could and does have positive effects, depending on how you look at it.
Porn satisfies a desire for fantasy. Things you may not have the courage to bring to your partner. You may be single and come across something you never thought about; an attraction to a specific sized man or woman. A previously unrealized interracial or multi-ethnic attraction. Something unconventional that allows you to step out of the normal for a while and live through someone else's experiences. If you're in a relationship, porn can open you both up to things you may not have even thought about; Costumes, role-playing, foreplay, etc. Maybe there are things you've wanted to try with each other, but felt weird about having those thoughts or desires. Watching porn together brings you to the conclusion that your ideas aren't that far-fetched; that it's normal and done by more couples than you thought. What you considered, "Freaky" or, "Nasty" is practiced relatively regularly, just not in your normal, "Cookie-cutter" social circle.
Porn can be used as entertainment; nothing more. It's cool to watch. It's cheaper than the strip club. Porn can be a life-saver when you're in a dating or sexual slump. Research. Being single, porn can teach even the oldest dog a new trick or two. It could be just what you need to avoid the whispers of inadequacy from potential future partners. It can allow a person the ability to discover things about themselves, their own bodies, or desires they may not have given much thought to. The potential for self-discovery is almost limitless. As a couple, porn can rejuvenate your sex life. When both parties are willing to accept new ideas into their dynamic, that doesn't always necessarily mean threesomes or multiple partners, which is where most men seem to hit the ground running towards like a kid on Christmas morning. Foreplay; porn can be a fantastic precursor to sex. We all know how quick that first release can come when you're excited, and getting that first one out of the way will make intercourse last much longer.
Porn allows for the exploration of yourself and your partner, learning what turns THEM on and vice-versa. New positions, fantasies, fetishes, and techniques. Porn can initiate or unlock a primal, sexual side in yourself or your partner that could blow your fucking mind. The possibility of opening Pandora's box. Going from the same 2-3 positions at the same time, the same way, on the same day? Nowadays, she can't even walk past him without dropping to her knees or climbing on top of him. That ball game just doesn't have the same importance as it did before; he's too busy trying to get his clothes off and into the shower with you as fast as he can.
Porn allows you the freedom of variety without cheating; as long as you keep your fantasies in your head, your pants zipped up, and your dress/skirt pulled down. Porn is safe sex; you can't get an STD/STI from your hand or fingers. It's less dangerous than a one-night stand or a first-date fuck. You can enjoy yourself and get yourself off safely in your own home and behind locked doors, instead of taking the risk of going to someone else's place, not knowing what the fuck you may be walking into.
Porn is sex without judgment, exploration, and experience without embarrassment or humiliation. Porn is a safe alternative over risk. In the right light, porn can be a hell of a teacher when you need a tutor to help you navigate the class to a higher, more exciting world of sexual expression between you and your partner. Like so many other things, moderation is paramount. It knows when you're spending more time fantasizing instead of implementing with your partner. If you can't get excited or last longer than 5 minutes with a real-live person, but can go all night watching porn, you need help, just like over-eating, over-training, etc. Whatever your vice is, good or bad, when you go overboard, no one wins.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jun 28, 2020
You're bragging about how much sex you're getting, but it's all quantity, not quality. Ladies, you aren't pulling dick, you're getting fucked. Men, you aren't pulling pussy, you're fucking whatever you can stick your dick into; and yes, there IS a difference.
Are you truly the ladies man or player you think you are? Ladies, are these guys giving you money and feeding your ego because you deserve it, or because they know when they go out with you, they're going to get some pussy? Are you getting so much pussy because your, "Game" is that smooth, or are you going for pussy that hasn't been fucked in so long, it has tumbleweeds and spider webbing in front of it? Or maybe you're fucking pussy that fucks everyone it comes across. Are you going for women who's just happy someone's taking an interest in them, even though they know what you're all about?
You're bragging about getting dick that would fuck a shaved gopher if it had a big enough ass. You're proud to tell your buddies how you fucked three women over the weekend. You're either proud or confused about your low standards. A woman will out a good, decent man's value on the same scale as those who don't have a pot to piss in or a place to throw it out. You're flying so low to the ground because it's safer in case you run into resistance, or you don't have the skills to master flying as high as you truly want to. Maybe it's because you're a single-propeller WWI biplane and you're trying to dogfight against a radar-resistant, next-generation, cloak-capable, heavily armed warbird of destruction.
Are you pulling pussy, or are you fucking what's easy and available? Are you working hard and earning your pussy paycheck, or are you content with or happily living off the government? Are you picking the good berries from the tree or the ones that are already on the ground? Are you truly pulling and working that dick you're bragging about, or are you just giving up the pussy and accepting money and gifts? Whether you realize it or not, when you go into work the next Monday, talking about how all these men you have been doing things for you because they like you, you're telling them you're being paid to fuck.
You claim to have the gift to pull all this pussy or all these men at your feet, but what type of pussy or dick are you REALLY attracting? Are you just bragging about fucking or your ability to find pussy? Are you attracting these men, or are they just coming you because they know they get to fuck? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy? You're bragging about all this pussy you getting high-caliber, quality pussy, or, "Junk ass"? Are you stepping into the ring with well-trained, equally matched opponents, or someone who just started taking cardio kickboxing for the first time? You're proudly claiming dick that no one else wants has already had or has been turned down by every woman you're bragging to. You're bragging about pussy everyone else has fucked. You're not pulling pussy; you're fucking outcasts and pussy that'll open up for the 2 for $25 meal special at the local chain restaurant and think she's living the high life.
Stop fucking and make them wait a month; hell, make them wait three dates see how many of them ask you out a second or third time. Get a reputation that you're no longer a first date fuck and see how quickly you well dries up; how limited your choices become. Expect and demand more time and effort into getting in your pants, and all that dick you're bragging about pulling will dry up like a fucking desert. Your popularity comes from your pussy, your ego from your willingness and ability to suck dick on the first night. Your reputation for being a ladies man and your confidence comes from scraping the bottom of the barrel, wiping the outer rim and bottom of the bowl with your biscuit, trying to get the last bit of sauce. You're trying to lick the cake batter bowl!
If you're giving up the pussy, give up on the thought of meeting someone special, and of good quality, unless you go looking somewhere you've never been before; your reputation at your regular social or professional has been decimated. Is quality even a goal for you? Or are you happy putting in a little as possible for the scrap sex you get? You're giving out raggedy dick like last year's Halloween candy to fat kids who give a fuck, as long as it's candy. In her mind, she's working game on him because she has all these other men coming at her, but her pussy is her symbol of status, her centerpiece, her personality. You think you're playing him because you're pulling all this dick. Not only are you playing yourself, but you're also getting fucked in the process by guys who wouldn't even look your way if you weren't giving up the pussy.
They don't want to go out with you or be seen in public with you, but they know they HAVE to get the pussy. You think you're pulling pussy, but you're fucking women who are just grateful to have a dick! Don't act like your something to be revered. You probably did take her out and, at some point, kissed her without the thought of how many dicks she's sucked and swallowed just last week alone! You're hopping on top and riding unprotected dick like a cowgirl, and he could have mad cow disease on his shit!
You're not pulling dick; you're giving up the ass and getting fucked. You're trying to make your friends and co-workers jealous with stories about getting fuck by raggedy dick. They may act interested and envious of you to your face, but they're laughing at you behind your back; if you only knew how many other women he's fucking or fucked. If you only knew how many of them had turned his nasty ass down until he found, you. You're looking for celebratory support and accolades for fucking nasty, stank, drunk pussy they've already fucked or are STILL fucking, along with everyone else in the office or at the club. Are you truly pulling pussy or fucking easy pussy? Are you pulling dick, or are you just giving up the pussy?
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jun 14, 2020
You did or said something fucked up and got caught or called out on it. Instead of owning up to it, you offer what you think is an apology by saying, "I'm sorry you took it that way" or, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."
You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them, plain and simple. You were offensive or condescending, and they let you know, you just weren't ready for it. Your bullshit, a half-ass apology isn't even an apology; it's as an accusation of their oversensitivity.
Why are you REALLY saying you're sorry? Because of what you did or said, or is it to differ the situation and avoid escalation? Are you apologizing for HOW you said whatever you said that pissed the other person off? Most likely, you're saying you're sorry for thinking the other person was too dumb to realize what you did or said was so fucked up. "Sorry, I hurt your feelings," is nothing more than saying, "Great! Now I have to wipe, powder, and coddle your frail-minded, fetal ass through this until you get over it".
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" isn't an apology, it's a deflection. It shifts the spotlight from the offender and places the blame and focus on the offended. To them, it's YOUR fault you're so fucking sensitive you got butthurt and sand in your asshole; they're sorry they pushed your baby bitch button. Their apology is them telling you you're fucking soft and need to harden your ass up. Just because someone brought something to you doesn't mean their feelings got hurt; you pissed them off. In their mind, you didn't realize what you did or said was fucked up; as a friend, they brought it to your attention, and you dismissed them. Your half-ass apology compounded the situation.
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings" is saying you're a fucking crybaby, and now they have to say they're sorry for making you show it. It's an underestimation of your intelligence and ability to take something and let it roll off your back. They're saying sorry for assuming you were too simple-minded to decipher whatever they said or did as shitty, and it was; just plain shitty. Then they fed you bullshit on top of it because you called them out on it, and now they have to make amends for it. The apology isn't meant for the person who was offended; it's to make the offender feel as if they realized their error and learned from it. It's all about clearing their conscience. Women say it to make a man feel like shit for being bothered by something, basically putting his manhood on the cutting room floor. Men say it more to make her feel oversensitive.
You didn't hurt their feelings; you insulted them. You may not realize or want to admit it, but that's what you did. You can't control how someone takes what you did or said, so don't argue; don't defend and don't make excuses. If you're going to say you're sorry, do it for what you did or said, not how they took it. Don't dismiss or trivialize how someone feels when they bring something to you that offended them. Don't assume you hurt their feelings and don't accuse them of being too sensitive. You fucked up and said something stupid or offensive, and instead of owning up to it, tried to shift your stupid, shitty comment into an accusation. You assume someone's feelings are hurt because it's the first thing that came to your mind when you realized the other person caught on to what you did or said.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jun 7, 2020
When talking about love, you have to be careful how you use it; "I love you" isn't something to play around with or take lightly, and it definitely isn't something to just throw out when you don't mean it. Love isn't the word to be thrown around or to be said and left open for translation. From the love of self, love for people in general, friends & family, to romantic and even maniacal love, clarity is paramount when telling someone you love them. You may be talking about having a love for someone, but they've translated it into romantic love, only to have the truth come back and bite them in the ass later because you weren't clear with your words.
It's the responsibility of both people to seek pure clarity when talking about love. If both are saying it, they BOTH need to be perfectly transparent about the feelings and sentiment they're trying to relay. Having a love for someone isn't the same as being in love with them. Loving someone isn't the same as being in love with someone. Men, you aren't stupid or ignorant; you know your lady. When you use the word "Love," you know EXACTLY how she is going to take it unless you spell it out and define what you mean without beating around the bush or trying to remain ambiguous about the type of love you're referring to. If you allow a woman to believe you're in love with her, knowing that's not where you are, then you're an asshole, plain and simple. You know they have or will relate it to romantic love. Trying to claim you didn't mean it the way she took it is fucked up when/if she calls you out on it.
After being caught cheating, talking to, or spending time with someone else after using the word love, just to turn around and blame them for how he/she misunderstood what type of love you meant makes you an asshole. You purposely avoided being clear about your feelings beforehand because you wanted and needed a bullshit excuse for when you got caught doing dirty shit. You'll make sure she understands what type of love you REALLY meant when she catches you doing some dirty shit.
Women don't normally use the word, "Love" unless they actually mean it. If they're not there yet, they'll tell you. They'll define their love if it's any type, other than romantic without hesitation. Even saying the words are important to a woman and they're cautious as caring for a newborn child when it comes to stating feelings of love, whether to family, friends, or a partner. Women are more inclined to feel and admit her love sooner than a man to everyone, except that man; she'll wait on him to say it first to avoid putting herself out in the open for fear of rejection. She'll tell her co-workers, friends, family, etc. On the other hand, men will NOT admit his love to anyone, EXCEPT, the woman he means it to, not even his best friends. He'll assume they just know.
So, why do people say, "I love you" when they really don't? Out of obligation. They've been in their relationship for so long, they feel it's the right thing to say, or they believe if they don't say it, the other person will end the relationship. Obligation to keep the relationship together and each other happy. Some ridiculous, unrealistic, and non-existent timeline will convince them it's about time they said it, and sooner or later, they eventually mean it anyway.
People will say, "I love you" for sex, pure and simple. Especially men, they know their woman's holding back a level of sexual expression and desires he wants her to give him, but she's reserving that side of herself for the man she's in love with and loves her too. He'll want 100% of what she has to offer in the bedroom, and he knows to tell her he loves her is the key to that treasure chest of freak nasty shit he wants her to do.
The response is another reason people will say, "I love you." Their partner said it, so it's just natural for them to say it in response. It's second nature for them to say it back, without even thinking about it.
Saying, "I love you" immediately puts an end to any conversation about deeper feelings or emotions. A man knows that's what she wants to hear when she's asking about the direction the relationship is heading. What his intentions are, or any thoughts about his feelings about her or the relationship. He doesn't want to get into it right then or at all. He wants to get back to the game or the computer. Hell, he wants to get back to mowing the lawn if it'll get him away from the conversation.
People will say, "I love you" because it benefits them in some way. The person they're saying it to is proving them with something, whether it be financial, physical, emotional, or materialistic. They know saying those three words put them in a position to continue receiving whatever they are getting from the recipient. The giver may genuinely love the receiver, but it's only one-sided. The love they claim to have is only stated to ensure a place to stay, a car to drive, or money in their pocket.
Whatever the situation, any reason other than true love is a shitty reason to tell someone you love them, even if it's to save the other person from feeling vulnerable or foolish, honesty is the best policy. When you're using the word, "Love," make sure the intended person knows precisely what type of love you're talking about if it's not romantic love. Don't use Love ambiguously; don't leave it open for interpretation because you want to avoid talking about your actual feelings. Sex is the absolute most fucked up reason to tell someone you love them. Remember, at some point, you've been on the receiving end of the same situation, or you may be in it as you read this. Love is a feeling, a reason to celebrate, appreciate and enjoy everything that comes with it. Don't be an asshole and turn it into something you pull from your toolbox when you need to fix or adjust a situation to fit your needs.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
May 31, 2020
Even the most faithful men and women will most likely end up with a side-piece at one time or another, but not in the way you might think. There may be a friend or relative, male or female your partner doesn't really like you hanging out with because of their behavior or reputation. They don't like you being around each other, and they'll tell you they have an issue with you hanging out with them because of the negative influence they expose you to. Wanting to avoid an argument or to keep them from causing a bigger issue than what it could or should be, you tell them you won't hang out with them anymore.
You know that's a lie; you told them that to get them off your back; to end the conversation as quickly as possible. You told them that to make them happy and avoid the bullshit. You've been friends through a lot of shit over the years, and just because your present partner doesn't like them, you're not going to abandon the friendship. You just want to avoid ripples in the relationship, so you decide the best route to go is to cheat on your partner with your best friend.
She has that one friend who's the life of the party. You can bet she's the type of girl who'll jump up on the bar and flash the entire room for drinks. She has a man, but as long as she doesn't hook up with them, anything else goes. Your man doesn't like you hanging out with her because she's always trying to get you to be more, "Independent," not to let your man, "Tell you what to do." She tries to talk you into doing the same shit she does, dancing with other men. You've been friends since high school, and you'll tell your man you won't hang out with her anymore after the last time she got drunk, hooked up with some guy, and ended up on your couch. That's a lie; you're cheating on your man with YOUR best friend.
You may not see this as cheating, but look at the truth behind it; you lied to your partner about not seeing someone, or you told them you wouldn't spend time with them, knowing you would. You left the house, knowing you were going to see them, and you have no intention of telling your partner you were around them. You went to a movie, dinner, the bar/club, wherever. You know if your partner found out, they'd be pissed because you deceived them. You know if you got caught, you'd have to come up some of the same bullshit excuses you'd come up with if you got caught cheating with someone of the opposite sex; ESPECIALLY if the friend is of the opposite sex. All the components of cheating on your partner are there.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
May 10, 2020
It's your favorite purse. That watch goes with everything you wear. It's the warmest, most comfortable sweatshirt for a lazy day of curling up and watching movies on a lazy weekend during the winter. It's your favorite dress, shirt, or suit.
The problem is that watch was a gift from your ex-girlfriend. Those earrings were from your former fiancee. The sweatshirt was your ex-boyfriend from his college years. The question is, should you still have it? Should you still be wearing it? Even worse, do you think your present partner wants to see you in that shit? If you're single, who cares? If your new partner doesn't care, it's all good. But what if they have an issue with it? What if they don't know where it came from? Should you wait for them to ask, or should you come clean and admit it upfront? Would or could you part with it if they told you they felt insulted and disrespected that you thought they'd be okay with it?
If the relationship ended negatively, why would you want any reminders of such a fucked up situation? If it was amicable, don't you think you may be sending a signal that you might not be completely over your attachment to that other person? You may not see anything wrong with it, but even gifts from your ex-partner's kids may cause a rift in your present relationship. Is it disrespectful to not only hold on to certain items after a breakup? Is it fucked up for your new partner to have an issue with it?
You flaunt it around proudly, even though it's one of your favorite items, and you expect your partner to accept and get over it? Some like a television, laptop, furniture, or something of that nature is one thing; something you purchased together may fall into that category as well. There are certain things that hold a value of convenience and a value of sentiment. The items of sentiment are those that are in question. An item of clothing, jewelry, pictures, or other personal memorabilia should be common sense. Why the fuck would you think your new partner wants to have sex with you on the silk sheets your ex gave you on your anniversary? The lingerie she bought to turn another man on?
Experiences are just going to have to be dealt with. You can't get bothered if your partner's ex took them on their first cruise, and they want to do it again with you. It was their first and only experience at an amusement park, and they want to share it with you. Sexual positions and/or experiences are absolutely off the table of being exclusive to a single relationship; that's shit you're just going to have to just deal with, especially in your older/more mature years. You cant get caught up wondering how many times tor how many people they've done something particularly enjoyable for the both of you.
Any rationalization or defense of keeping something that came from an ex is a delicate situation with explosive properties. One one hand, if you own up to it upfront, you run the risk of your partner having issues with it; on the other, you risk an even bigger storm of shit from your partner if they found out down the line. Regardless of the answer and if you agree or not, open communication is the first step, depending on what it is, cop to it, and allow them to tell you how they feel about it. Should these things be returned? Boxed up" Burned? Pawned for cash? Are you that selfish and self-centered, or do you really feel there's nothing wrong with holding on to items given to you from a previous relationship?
It doesn't matter if it's your favorite whatever it is; if it came from your ex, you have to willing and ready to part with it, upon request. You'll give the impression you're still holding on to that relationship, or some part of it. Even an old picture of an ex and their kids or family may hold some sentimental value to you, but don't bring that shit out to show your, new partner, thinking your funny story behind the photo will be as amusing to them as it was to you and your ex at the time it happened. Your memories from your previous relationships are really of no interest to your present partner. They don't care about that trip you took, the funny thing that happened at their parent's anniversary dinner, the drawings his/her kids gave you while you were together. Toss it or keep that shit to yourself.
Should you burn that sweatshirt? That's up to you, but to wear it when you're cuddled on the couch or snuggled with your man makes you an asshole. You don't have to wear the ring your ex gave you on your very first Valentine's Day when you're out to dinner on Valentine's Day with your new partner. Don't even think about wearing the jersey your ex-girlfriend bought when the two of you went to your first football game together; that's just as shitty. Yeah, it's comfy; you've had it forever. Your last ex had no problems with it. These are not reasons to excuse, rationalize, or defend you against how your present partner should feel about it. How your friends think your partner should feel is none of their concern to the subject. Holding on to something from a previous relationship is a gamble; you take your chances with each new relationship that just may be the one that doesn't want to imagine or see you wearing or displaying something your ex gave you.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
May 3, 2020
True, you get to keep the peace in the home, or in your relationship, but at what cost? Your thoughts and opinions have been voiced, heard, and acknowledged many times over. What if there was something that was bothering you, but you can't or won't talk about it, not because you're afraid of physical or mental abuse, not because you thought you'd be punished, or not taken seriously? Some people just don't speak their minds because they don't want to cause waves or ripples in the water; they don't want to miss out on an opportunity, or they just don't want to hear the other person's fucking mouth about it.
SCENARIO 1. Marcus and Trina are in the checkout line at the store, paying for their groceries. Being an interracial couple, they know certain people have issues with them being together, and they have absolutely no intention of letting those individuals bother them in the least bit. It wasn't a shock or surprise to them to hear a woman standing behind them talking shit about them being together. What's sets this situation apart is that this woman isn't on the phone talking shit, she's not with her girlfriend talking shit, she's with her MAN talking shit! On and on she goes, calling their relationship an abomination; how white women are, "Stealing" good black men, how white women are doormats, or the only reason they're together is that she sucks his dick or takes it in the ass.
People are entitled to their own opinion, the question is, why does this concern her in the least bit? A better question is, why the fuck does she think her man wants to hear her bitch about another man and what he's doing? The ultimate question would be why that man doesn't that man stand up for himself and ask her who the fuck cares? Why isn't he telling her to shut the fuck up? Because he's afraid he'll piss her off and he doesn't want to hear her mouth at him. In his mind, he knows she's going to bitch about something; as long as it's not towards him, he'd rather sit there with his mouth shut.
SCENARIO 2. Beth is an absolute prize. She's smart, funny, and down-to-earth. She doesn't mind paying for her half of the date; hell, she has no problem asking a man out. Along with the stereotypical "Girl stuff," she also likes sports, action movies, even video games. Everyone likes Beth. Her male friends and/coworkers will tell you how cool she is, and she a wide variety of interests and hobbies. On paper, she's the perfect catch for ANY man. So, why's she still single? At 5'7" and 170 pounds, not many men see past her weight when it comes to being attracted to her. In walks Jimmy, a good-looking guy who catches the interest and attention of his fair share of women, and he knows it. Whether in the office or at the bar, Jimmy's known for having short-term relationships or going after women who are more likely to have sex with him after just a date or two. Jimmy's not one to put in too much effort into someone who isn't giving it up.
Although Beth knows about Jimmy's alleged reputation, you'd ask yourself, why the hell would she still go out with him, knowing all he wants to do is fuck, especially when she doesn't even really want to on the first date? Not only will she put her all into the experience, giving him everything he could ever ask for sexually, hoping he'll be persuaded to take an interest in her. Why won't she speak up and tell him she's not ready? Because she knows if she does, that'll be the last time she hears from him.
It's not to say men will always keep things to themselves in order to keep the peace with his lady. He won't turn that hot girl at the club away, even though he despises smokers, and she smells like a fucking chimney. A woman will reluctantly swallow for a man she just met, or even HER man, even though she really hates doing it. A woman who knows her man's temper when he's angry or agitated won't ask him to calm down because she knows how he is and doesn't want that anger directed to her.
A man won't speak his mind if he's dancing with a woman, and she keeps biting his ears really hard or pinching the fuck out of his nipples. He's so worried about upsetting her and running off potential pussy; he'll just take it and laugh it off. A woman will give a man she has absolutely no attraction or chemistry with her phone number, in order to avoid having to admit she's not interested or avoid being asked to explain why she isn't, only to have to deal with him the next time she sees him at the club. A guy will have sex with a woman he thinks is ugly as fuck; as long as he's getting pussy and his friends don't find out.
People won't speak their minds because they're afraid of losing their friends who may be alcoholics or pot smokers. They don't want to be labeled a bitch or an asshole. They want to avoid being labeled a troublemaker or whistleblower at work. They don't want to be known as someone who can't be a team player when needed fear of missing out on advancement or other opportunities. People hate being wrong. Some are just more comfortable being sheep than shepherds. People don't speak up because of their need and desire to fit in; the price of alienation or exclusion is one they're not interested in paying. You care more about other's feelings and how they think then your own.
There's always the possibility of physical violence when speaking up. You may be in a relationship where your partner has been known to take things to a physical level. Not just men, but women also. They view you're speaking up as both defiance and a physical challenge. Men will see this as a play for control of the relationship he must defend. Women will interpret her man's voice as an attack on her independence, which she'll defend like a battle flag.
Sinister reasoning is another reason people won't speak up. Tim knows for a fact John's not reassembling the carburetor correctly, but he won't say anything to him, because he doesn't like John and will do anything, he can to make him look bad. Tina knows the time of the new client presentation was changed from 10 in the morning to 9, but won't tell Ann until 8:30, because they're both up for the same promotion and she knows Ann's more qualified, so she'll do anything to make her look bad in front of the big bosses. Jason doesn't like his neighbor, Mark, so when Jason sees him trying to use a chainsaw to cut down a tree in his yard and he's not wearing safety equipment. Jason won't speak up, because he hates Mark so much, he wants to see him get hurt.
You don't speak up because you don't want to upset anyone or make them feel stupid, even if they're wrong. If they believe they're right, they'll continue to do the wrong thing, and eventually, someone WILL correct them. What if they're doing something unsafe? The last thing you want to do is direct your partner's anger and frustration at an unrelated situation to you, so you keep your mouth shut and allow them to disrespect you. Keeping the peace is one thing; silencing yourself to keep others from disliking you is something totally different altogether. You should never sacrifice your voice, just to appease others or to keep from losing someone, even is that someone is important to you.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
For far too long, women have allowed other women, friends, family, and even strangers to influence how they receive attention and physical affection from her man or men they find themselves attracted to. Women have allowed men to dictate what they'll give and what they expect in return on THEIR terms. Not just her friends or family, but society as a whole will put her morals, self-respect, and/or reputation on trial if she gives into her sensual and intimate inner self or desires and fantasies.
Are there REALLY women out here who get dressed for a romantic night out with her man, hoping he won't make her feel like the sexiest, most desired woman in the room? Women have each other brainwashed into thinking her man's disrespecting her when/if he wants her hands in his pants or his inside her dress or down her blouse. PDA, making out, or however the physical activity may take form, women will attack and criticize a man's respect for his lady if he interacts with her in the way they don't approve of. They'll talk shit about her if they don't know the woman; if they do, they'll try to convince her that man's degrading her or making her look like a slut. So what? Why wouldn't a woman want to do what her man likes or vice-versa? Not to imply anyone should do anything they don't want to do, based on their own personal convictions, but not wanting to look bad on the eyes of someone else should never trump your partner's needs.
On the subject of needs, communication is key when it comes to making sure each other's needs are being met. Too many times, people are either turned off or offended by the discussion of physical and sexual needs. Conversations about sensual or intimate expectations are met with negativity. Women will take offense to it, thinking it's too soon to be talking about it, and men won't bring it up wanting to avoid running a woman off. It could also be that both of them may not even know what their needs are, or are afraid of talking about it, not wanting to give the other person the wrong impression. She doesn't want him to think she's a whore who goes around rubbing her ass up on every guy, and he doesn't want her to think sex is the primary thing on his mind.
How two people behave towards each other is their business, that's their relationship and how they choose to show their attraction to each other. If they both crave and enjoy it, it's not yours or anyone else's place to criticize or question that; it's no one's place to imply any negative thoughts about their respect for themselves or each other. Not to say a couple should be making out and groping each other in a family restaurant, in the middle of the grocery store, or anywhere children would be; being appropriate in the right environment IS important. Most people who see this behavior as negative are either jealous because they aren't getting it. They're unaware of how it feels because they've never had it. They've had someone else tell them it's wrong, dirty, or even sinful to act on or desire it. People see it as negative because they're secretly craving it themselves, but can't get it from their partner, or are afraid of judgment in the eyes of their family or social circle. Fear of being labeled a "Freak."
Women have issues with being open about their need for more intense sensual and sexual affirmation because they were taught to believe a woman should behave with more dignity and self-respect. Sucking her man's dick was dirty. Having her man's hands all over her body and showing her how bad he wants to bend her over right then and there was shameful. They were raised to believe women like that are degrading themselves. Women were ALSO raised to believe a fucking fairy princess was an actual occupation for little girls. Little girls were allowed to believe raising a child was as simple as caring for her baby dolls. Obviously, they grew out of that bullshit, so why would this be any different?
The reasons behind a man not wanting his woman to be more assertive and expressive sexually are much simpler. Sure, he may have been raised to believe he's disrespecting his lady by expressing his sensual or sexual attraction, but that's not normally the case. Where porn is so readily available and abundant, a man's ability to separate porn from real life gets blurred a hell of a lot more than women. A man won't view the physical and sexual expression as a matter of respect vs. degradation; he just doesn't want it from his lady because quite frankly, he can have that anytime he wants. He's more into the thrill of the porno hunt. He'll turn down his lady when she wants to show him public intimacy and sensuality, claiming to have more respect for her than that, or he'll tell her that's not how he is, at least not with HER. Let him go out with his friends; he's fucking women, "Doggy-style" on the dance floor. Some men will grind on another woman so hard he'll literally bust a nut on himself in his pants. His mission for the night is to get a handful of ass and any other indicators she'll go out to his car and fuck him like a titan at the end of the night. He'll try his best to get his hands down the inside of her dress or top. Don't be fooled; your man WANTS to feel and get felt up, just not by you!
Men won't judge other men about how they treat their women based on sexual interaction. They see it as a good thing. Whether they admit it or not, most men WANT a woman who's open enough to slide her hand inside his pants and stroke him until he releases himself, even if she's ugly as fuck. If he's dirty like that and doing dirty shit, he won't care how the other woman looks; his focus is on busting a nut and bragging about how it made him feel like he was in a real-life porno scene. The reason he wouldn't want his lady to do it is that he's trying to maintain a certain level of distance between them so he can play down their relationship in case he sees something else he likes. That also explains why your man will distance himself in public at the club but will want his dick sucked when they get to the car or want her, "Freak nasty," when no one else is around.
Stop letting strangers and their opinion of you put your need for sensual and sexual attention on trial because they think it makes you look trashy or cheap. Who gives a fuck what they think? Stop allowing your friends to tell you your man doesn't respect you because he's always on you trying to feel you up. Don't let people put stupid shit in your head, trying to convince you all he wants is sex all the time. So fucking what if he does? If you like it too, what's the big fucking deal? You're a grown woman, you pay your bills, have your own life, and answer for your own actions. If someone can't accept you for who you are as an individual, are they REALLY your friend, or are they just looking for another lemming to follow their expectations? Especially if your friends are single, always in short-term or miserable fucking relationships. Why would their opinion matter that much?
Stop letting your man deny you what you need to satisfy your craving for physical/sexual expression or affirmation. Stop allowing men to ration out what they want to give you or want you to have. Trust me when I tell you men WANT a woman's ass grinding on his dick, look at how most men dance with women; that should be your first fucking indicator if you can't even rub your man's dick through his front pocket in public but wants your inner fantasy freak when no one else is around. It's not that he's worried about making you look bad; he just doesn't want people to see how involved he is with you; he wants to maintain his "Dating but single and available" status. When he goes back to the same place that following weekend, he can play you down as a first date or someone he's just, "Hanging out with."
Go ahead, try it. If you've never been in a relationship where your man just wanted to be all over you when you're out together, not just at home, go for it, you may not have been exposed to it in the past or been raised to think it brings an unfavorable impression to others. Still, you may actually like it, even develop a hunger for it. You may love it; you may hate it, but make it about you, not what someone else thinks. If you know it's what you need and your partner can't or won't give it to you, then you have a decision to make. Don't deny yourself what you want and need and don't do the same to your partner. Be open to communicate freely and to at least try with an open mind; you may be surprised.
No woman in a relationship hopes to meet a man who doesn't want to make love, have sex, or fuck her like an animal. If there are women out there like that, she's with the wrong man. A woman WANTS to be taken, bent over, and fucked like a caveman, maybe just not by the man she's with, but she does want it. Maybe her man isn't putting out the right vibe for her to desire that from him, but she does desire it. Remember when you were younger, and whenever you did something wrong, all your parents had to do was give that fucked up look, and you knew you'd better stop, be quiet, or you knew you were getting your ass beat when you got home? A woman wants that with her man; when you're out having dinner, at the movies, dancing, whatever. She'll cream herself silly when she looks over at her man, and he gives her same fucked look; that look that tells her when they get home, she' going to be walking a little crooked that next morning or he wants to take in the restroom right then and there and bend her ass over the sink. If you're the type of man who can't look at his lady that way every now and then, the two of you need to sit down and communicate your needs and desires for one another. If they don't mesh, like anything else, your choices are to deal or re-evaluate your decision to stay together.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
When a relationship or friendship has run its course and, the end has come and gone, most people take the high road and walk away without regret and a better understanding of themselves, along with a learned lesson or two. Others just can't let that happen. They can't just walk away and move forward; they feel as if karma's too busy to lend a hand or taking her own sweet time to rain down retribution and, they'll want to lend a hand of their own for revenge. After a breakup, we all like to think we'd be able to lick our wounds and just get past whatever happened, but some people just aren't built that way, especially if the relationship ended due to infidelity. You'll feel an onslaught of emotions; anger, humiliation, depression, pain, betrayal, and sometimes revenge.
As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold; the truth is, revenge is a dish best served never. We want the offender to pay for screwing us over, thinking we're getting them back, but the truth very rarely does it affect the object of vengeance on the intended level. Sometimes it does works, and when it does, the damage is ridiculous. The question is: Why go through the hassle, the planning, and the obsession of wanting to get revenge in the first place? For closure? Learning experiences. Or just plain old-fashioned payback?
When somebody has done us dirty, it's natural to want them to know how much their actions fucked us up. We'll want them to feel exactly the way they made us feel, hopefully learning a lesson and keep them from doing it to someone else. Even if that were true, it's not like you're going to give them another chance, or vice-versa, so you'll never really see or find out if your plan of revenge worked. The revenge-seeker isn't interested in protecting anyone else. Hoping they've learned a lesson means even less. They'll never see or reap the benefits of the change in the person. Another sad truth is even though the revenge seeker may claim or even believe their goal of revenge is to protect others from suffering the same fate, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but the seeker. Any other reason they come up with is straight bullshit.
There are many reasons people seek revenge on those who have done them wrong or feel the need to be taught a "lesson." Plain and simple immaturity. They don't know how to handle rejection or being hurt; they don't experience bad luck or being fucked over often and don't know how to deal with it. On the other hand, it may have happened so much in their lives, they've reached their limit, and it's time for some payback.
Revenge is for people who can't move on. Vengeance is their closure; they need it to put their pain to bed and begin anew. Once revenge has been served, even if there's any level of gratification, it'll only be temporary, and it won't live up to the expectation of the fantasy. It won't make you feel better; again, if it does, the feeling of retribution will only last a short time and will never live up to what your expectations. You'll look like an ass, especially if the other person has moved on, and you can't or haven't. They'll either make fun of you or refuse to engage your silly ass, and that will anger you and fuel your desire for more revenge. You care more than they do; the offended has allowed their goal of revenge to consume their attention, keeping them from possibly meeting someone else. They'll be un-dateable until they come to their senses and move on.
In relation to infidelity, a woman may want to "Warn" another woman about the guy she's currently seeing or just talking to. A man may make up or embellish a story about his experience with a woman in order to make her into something she's not. In the workplace, a person may seek revenge against someone who bested them out of a promotion or advancement and wants to set them up for failure in front of others.
How would a person go about seeking revenge? Truthfully, it depends on the imagination of the seeker, as well as the severity of the offense. Of course, you are being lied to or cheated on being the worst. Stealing could be another one, causing someone humiliation, embarrassment, or inferiority could be others. People will spread rumors and gossip. Everything you may have told the offended person will now most likely be a matter of public record. Any of your friends, you've expressed a dislike for or talked shit about behind their backs. They now know exactly what you've said about them. They'll talk shit about you to your friends and theirs.
The revenge-seeker will approach the new partner of their ex and attempt to "Warn" them about how bad their relationship was. They'll enlist the help of their friends also to sabotage any attempts to move forward to someone new. They may lie about still being together, the cause of the breakup, or still having sex. The seeker will make sure to run into you while you're out, so they're seen will someone new to initiate jealousy. They'll take their new partner to the business or restaurant the ex-works.
They want you to see them getting attention. They'll hit the gym, thinning out and dressing sexier, in an attempt to get a reaction. Women will take to social media, posting pictures of herself out on the town, having the time of her life. Men will immediately change their relationship status and make suggestive comments about his newly single status. They'll brag about how wonderful their new partner is and how they wasted their time with anyone else.
In extreme cases, some will use their children as tools of revenge; they deny visitation or restrict availability out of spite. If divorced, they'll keep their married name, knowing it bothers the ex-husband. Staying close to and maintaining a relationship with the family or children of an ex is another way to stay in someone's life and siphon revenge slowly and continuously. They refuse to return your shit. The seeker will intentionally date someone of a different race, knowing the ex may be prejudice or racist.
Giving the impression they may be more sexually active than before may bring out a reaction from the offender. In case of crossing paths with the ex, the offender will make out with random people. They walk by more than necessary, hoping to catch their attention or allow them to overhear others' comments on how hot they look. They'll show a level of physical attention and sexuality with someone new, throwing it your face. They'll hit on your friends and even try to fuck one or more of them. They'll make you think you're getting back together; they'll come back and try to have sex. Once the other person believes there may be a reconciliation, the seeker will flip it and use it to twist the offender's head around and fuck their head up.
The seeker may mess with your credit or finances. They call or text and pretend it was an accident. If they see you with someone new, they'll blow your phone up, trying to find out who the person you were with was. They'll drive by your place to check for an unknown car parked out front. They won't return your pet.
People feel as if the offender deserves it; they've gotten away with it for so long, revenge is about due. The drawback? In hurting the person that hurt you, there's a more than probable, almost definite chance you'll involve and hurt someone innocent who has absolutely nothing to do with whatever happened between you and the offender.
Insecurity will drive the need for revenge, fear of being alone while the other person moves on. People will seek revenge for fear of failure. The offender may have destroyed the fantasy of romance or relationship for the offended. Some people rely on others for identity, but once that's taken away, due to a breakup or end of a friendship, the requirement for revenge will consume the offended. They may have abandonment issues stemming from their past. Revenge keeps the offender in the life of the offended. Revenge keeps you angry. Letting go or choosing to walk away without revenge doesn't make you weak or gullible.
When it comes to revenge, one of the important things the seeker doesn't give any thought to is the collateral damage their revenge will cause. Someone innocent will almost always get caught up in the bullshit between the seeker and the offender. Lying about them cheating or trying to get back together will cause doubt in the new partner. Their self-confidence may already be fragile, and your need for revenge has fucked them up even worse. Your obsession with revenge will cause your friends to question who you are and won't be as comfortable telling you things about themselves in fear that you'll use the information against them if the friendship ever went sideways. They may believe you'll make a play for their significant other if you feel they did you wrong. Revenge is nothing more than a way to hold on to the past. Face the pain of what happened and avoid the stages of the end and starting over.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Our friendships are the foundation of our social circle. The company we kept shape us as children, teenagers, have such an impact on how we interact with people as young adults and well into maturity; whether positive or negative. Our friends influence how we interact with our co-workers and even strangers.
Sometimes trying to hold on to old friendships is the absolute LAST thing you should do, depending on the situation. There can be consequences for trying to keep a friendship back in the day. That best friend you played varsity ball with through high school and even went to college together may have chosen a path of selling drugs, running with a gang, or some other type of criminal activity. While you're walking the straight and narrow, doing what you need to do to support yourself and your family, hanging out with that old friend got you caught in a crossfire between a rival gang or drug dealer.
Sarah and Becky have been inseparable best friends since Jr. High. Going on to the same high school and even to college together, becoming sorority sisters. Ten years later, Becky's climbing the management ladder at her company; unfortunately, Sarah's life choices landed her into a chasm of alcoholism or drug use. Trying to be a good friend, she allows Sarah to move in with to get clean. Imagine the surprise on Becky's face when she comes home from work to find out Sarah robbed her for drug money, or her drug addict friends are smoking pot or shooting heroin in her house that's about to get raided because she's allowed her pimp to run prostitutes through her place.
There's a point where friendships have run its course and it's time to move on. Sometimes these friends aren't as bad as being drug dealers or users; they could just be in the same place mentally as when you met so many years ago. If they're still the same people you knew from back in the day, it may be time to sit down and figure out why this particular friend hasn't evolved into adulthood or a more mature lifestyle. They're still the player they were in college or the party girl from the sorority house, and you're so far past that, just being around them makes you feel like than who you are.
Another thing to consider; unfortunately, who you choose to associate with publicly does have an impact on how you're viewed in the eyes of other people. For example, you could be a good, decent, hard-working guy. The fact that you're hanging out with a guy who is known for being players or generally disrespectful to women or just out for sex, trust me, that's how you'll be viewed as well just by association. Just like a woman or a group of women. If one or more of your female friends are known to be easy or quick to fuck after a few drinks, chances are, men will think the same about you until you set them straight. Be ready for them to be shitty though; your friends are slutty, so you should be too.
Trying to keep friends past the expiration date can also be a bad idea in terms of your professional career. Tom's as hard-working as they come; he's the go-to guy in the office. Mike, on the other hand, chooses to wait until the last minute to finish his projects or reports and often hands them in incomplete or riddled with mistakes. Sooner or later, Mike's going to drag Tom's reputation down; it'll never happen in reverse. It's easier to drag someone down than to build someone else up.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
You tried. You gave it your best shot, but you just couldn't quite make it work. Hey, at least you tried; that's more than what some people can say, even on their very best day. There's no shame in failure, as long as you can look in the mirror and be confident you gave it to you very best. Nobody's perfect, and failure is a part of life, just like success. Without failure, they joy of success wouldn't be nearly as sweet. Understandably, no one wants to admit failure, whether it be building and flying a kite to starting a business. We all want to walk into every project, knowing that kite's going to fly the way it's supposed to, or you've just stepped onto the first rung of the next multi-million-dollar business ladder.
Now the truth. We're not fail-proof, not by a long shot. No one is exempt from or above failure. Those hard-core business tycoons with houses on every coast. The athletes who defy gravity and logic with their moves and bank accounts to the actors and entertainers who sellout crowds by the thousands didn't just wake up one day being the best at what they do. They failed also. They tried different things and failed until they found what they were good at, and it brought them to where they are now. What makes you any different from them? What makes you unworthy of the same success others have been blessed with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing; the only difference is they were willing to try. They owned up to and accepted their failures. They had the motivation and the drive to continue until they found their path to success.
People are afraid to try because they fear what others may think of them. If they fall short, they'll question themselves in other areas of their lives, not even remotely related to what they were trying to do. If their business fails, they'll examine their ability to provide for their family, their competence at their job, or their marriage/relationship. They fear what others will think of them. Why the hell should you care about what someone who isn't even trying thinks of you? The truth is, you shouldn't, not at all. Again, at least you tried. And you learned something.
People fear failure because they think others will lose interest in them. They think if they try and fail, they'll lose their significant other to someone they see as more successful or smarter—fear of being seen as less intelligent. Failure will definitely fuck with a person's confidence and self-esteem for sure. Fear of disappointing those you love/care about—ridicule and criticism from friends, co-workers, or even family or partner. No one wants to hear, "I told you so," especially when they're trying their hardest to succeed. Fear of failure will make a person physically ill; butterflies, cramps, headaches, etc. Admitting failure is embarrassing. Admitting failure is admitting shortcomings. Fear of failure is fear of being replaced both in relationship and career.
In their love life, people fear rejection. No one wants to be seen approaching someone, just to be sent away, especially men. Women will prejudge and assume a she's not good enough for a man she views as out of her league, no matter what her friends say, or how great a catch she is, and any man would be lucky to meet/have her. A woman will gauge a man's interest, based on her looks, weight, etc. in regards to his. Men approach women and will use insults as a defense mechanism in response to rejection. Both men and women will discourage each other if they feel someone may be too far out of their friend's league. That thought alone prevents people from meeting someone they just might have a great relationship or friendship with.
Failure exists because people lose their focus; they find themselves getting caught up binge-watching their favorite TV show. Taking on too much at one time and not setting shorter-term goals. Not setting priorities. Low motivation/weak motivators. Wanting to lose weight and get into shape may be enough to get you through the front door and sign up for that gym membership. But it'll take more to get up at 5 am every morning and give 100% every time—frustration and impatience, setting unrealistic goals and expectations. As we step back into the gym/weight room, we want the results we want when WE want them—negativity and giving up at the first sign of hardship or obstacles. Writers don't give up their book the first time they have a case of writer's block. Otherwise, a lot of books wouldn't have been written.
Shitty planning. Having an idea but not acting on it is the same as not having an idea at all and being too lazy to act on it. Making excuses; not trying means not failing. People fail because they see their failure prematurely—lack of commitment.
Fear of failure is only one side of the coin for obvious reasons; fear of success is the other. We are not able to live up to future expectations. Public speaking. Rejection. Making the wrong choice, second-guessing, will turn a simple obstacle into a brick wall and definitely hinder a person's progress to success. The opinion of others shouldn't matter, but we will allow ourselves to be sidetracked or led off our intended path, especially by those who are either jealous or unsupportive of what you're trying to accomplish. Fear of responsibility. Saying or doing the wrong thing. Fear of challenges. We are missing out on something and being replaced. Death. Fear of being exposed as a fake. Let's not forget; fear of commitment.
Whatever your fear may be, understand failure is a part of life, a stepping-stone to success if everything comes without failure, the appreciation of making it won't be anywhere near as enjoyable. A huge part of success is looking back at everything and everyone who doubted you stood in your way or criticized you. Find your motivation, whether it be in love, career, independence, physical, or emotional progression. Write that book. Lose weight. Start that business. Leave that abusive or toxic relationship. Approach that man. Ask that lady out. Knock out that Do-it-yourself project. Face your fear and correct your mistakes. Accept your failure and re-adjust. Ask for help. Kickass at work and home. Be the avalanche that wipes out anything that makes you feel unworthy of success.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Mar 30, 2020
They go by many names. Hoe. Whore. Slut. Tramp. Skank. Pick your poison. The workplace player does have a female counterpart; for the purpose of this article, we won't use any of the names mentioned above. We'll call her G.A or, "The Get-around girl."
First of all, the margin for truth being considered, the GA wants a relationship, no matter what she says. She'll use her ass to land a man she wants. She may act like she's just out to fuck the men she works with, but understand that even if that were the case, a woman has to actually be attracted to something about a man, even if she's just interested in him sexually. She has to see him as a potential partner before she fucks him. Men decide they want a relationship AFTER having sex; Women decide a man's potential BEFORE she gives it up. Men can get hard and fuck anything that looks at him sideways, even she looks like a scorpion and built like a rhino.
It does happen, but most women don't fuck to get ahead in their careers. To jump-start it, maybe, but not to progress or advance; not usually. The G.A has more than 1 child by multiple men. Her first targets are the men with the most potential; seeing as most of them won't give her the time of day, due to her reputation, she'll pick the best option she can. The G.A will brag about what men do for her. (Give her money, pay her bills, take care of her needs, etc.) The G.A will brag about how good her men give her the dick. Whether other women want to hear about it or not, she'll share details about what goes on in their bed. She doesn't care what other women think; they're just jealous they can't do what she's doing, or they're not strong enough of a woman to be who they want to be.
Let her tell it, no man can put the dick on her. A G.A wants a man she can control, even though she won't respect him if he lets her. She'll act like she's in charge, but she really wants a strong, Alpha man to calm her ass down when she gets out of pocket. She'll act like she's the shit to beat all, but she has shitty self-esteem, and she believes she has to have sex to get men to like her. Some women won't know they're being played, not because they're naive' but because they think they're too smart, and also strong a woman to get played. The G.A won't go after a work pimp; she knows he's out of her league, and he wants no part of her reputation. She drinks almost every weekend. Just to get drunk and/or smokes pot.
The G.A will brag about her weekend when no one even asked or cares. Where women will warn other women about a player, a woman won't warn a man about a woman being a G.A. Get more than one G.A in close proximity in the office, and they'll shit-talk each other for a guy they both want. Their advances will be clear as fucking day, and they have no issues with how they look to others. She won't care if he has a lady; she'll want to break them up then leave him when she's done with him. (After, she's gotten all she can get from him). She'll have limited social ability. Other women will see her as ghetto as hell, but she doesn't care; in her mind, everyone at her job's jealous of her because she has all these men after her. She wants to be the Beta of the pack, and only other G.A's will want to be around her. Other women want nothing to do with her because they don't want to viewed as being like her in the eyes of her co-workers.
The Get Around Girl is the pinnacle of street smarts. It's NEVER her fault when she gets kicked to the curb by the working player; She'll tell everyone SHE dumped HIM when she realizes she's been played herself. (He had a little dick, gay, racist, couldn't fuck, he's scared of a strong, woman, he wasn't shit anyway.) She'll talk shit about any man that doesn't want her, and she'll brag about all the men she's playing. She doesn't want to know about or hear about anyone who has an actual good relationship; she'll try to convince them they're being played, and they need to be more like her. She's miserable and wants as many people to join her mob of misery as she can find.
The G.A doesn't work out; she doesn't have to. As long as men are willing to fuck her just the way she is, she thinks she's the shit, and she'll wear shit she has absolutely NO BUSINESS wearing. Work out on the town or to the grocery store. Her shit is way too tight and revealing, and while most men are looking at her, asking, "What the fuck?" Many men are looking at her and thinking, "I'd fuck her," Just because her ass is up in the air or her tits are halfway out. The definition of a whore is someone who receives money or any type of compensation in exchange for sex. If you're fucking guys at your job and they're paying your bills, giving you money, or other providing some form of compensation because you're fucking him, I'm not calling you a whore, but if it walks, talks, and looks like a duck, then it's a duck—a duck who's getting paid to fuck.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Mar 22, 2020
There's an unseen war going on between men and women for the controlling share in their relationship, whether they realize it or not. Men want to be the head of the household, and women want to avoid being the submissive partner. Men don't want to see an as soft or unable to manage their home and, women don't want the stigma of being weak or docile. Equality may be the goal, but realistically, that dream comes to be nothing more than just an idea in these modern times.
For one, seeking, "Control" is wrong; that's your 1st mistake. The 2nd is being dismissive or defensive when your partner brings your unnecessary siege for control of a situation to your attention. With equality being the ultimate goal, there can and will be times where one person will and should step aside and allow the other to take a more dominant role in a situation. They may have knowledge, training, or experience that applies to what's going on and are more physically or mentally equipped to make a more informed decision or take better action or precautions. There will be times where communication before reacting is available and times, where that process will have to wait until the situation or crisis is over.
For example, if your wife is a CPA and part of her job is doing corporate taxes for large companies, why wouldn't you step aside and allow her to do the family taxes? That makes you smart, not weak. If your husband's a mechanic, why wouldn't you step aside and allow him to decide which used cars are going to be better suited for the family in terms of parts, maintenance, dependability, etc.? That makes YOU smart, not docile or meek. In an emergency, if someone breaks into your home and your wife's a police officer, she doesn't have time to explain her instructions to you. Just fucking follow them, same as if your husband was a firefighter, and you wake up in the middle of the night to smoke and flames coming from the room next door.
Sometimes the battle for control won't have anything to do with a mutual situation; it'll come in the form of, "You did it, so I should be able to do it also" One person spent $200 on a pair of name brand sneakers or a purse they may have wanted for a while. The other person will see this as a bid for power, and they'll try to equalize the scales by going out and spending the same amount, or just a little bit more on something they may not even have thought about purchasing, only to, "Be fair." That shit is childish, especially if you knew those shoes or that purse was something they've been wanting or saving for.
The fight to be right is a fierce one; people fight for control by trying to prove the other person wrong. If successful, they're convinced you're the one with the issue, and they need to take over and save the day. That way, they can continue their quest for control and make it seem as if they have what's best for the relationship at heart.
During a discussion, one person's so focused on what they want to say. Next, they're not even listening to what you're saying. Men have been taught and raised to ignore or dismiss their dependency. Or a need for emotional support and to be the source of comfort in a relationship. They're the rock, the foundation of the relationship, and stepping aside or admitting they don't know something or their partner may be better equipped to handle a "Manly" situation will screw his head on backward, and he wants no part of that. A woman will ask logical/rhetorical questions or make statements in an attempt to make such a convincing argument that has no actual flaw; she'll hope he sees the logic in her theory and backs down.
Interrogation. In the quest for power, one person will make accusations or demand answers, putting to another person in a position to have to account for, explain, or defend themselves. "Why are you late?" "Why didn't you call?" "Who were you with?" Think of it as a court of law, and the witness is being questioned by the prosecutor.
They are avoiding criticism. Unnecessary criticizing and complaining about some bullshit is another way people try to take control of their relationship. Your partner doesn't want to hear your mouth over something stupid, so they'll keep theirs shut and allow you just to talk and talk and talk. A woman may see an interracial couple and will criticize that relationship out loud to her partner. He doesn't want to hear it, but won't say anything to her about it or ask her to keep her voice down, because she'll start in on him. A man may have an issue with a homosexual couple, but she won't ask him to stop talking about it, because he'll turn it around to her and expect her to agree with him. When she expresses any opinion other than his, he'll take it as her being argumentative or dismissive.
Body Language. Laughing at your partner when they're trying to talk about something serious. Eye-rolling, crossed arms, the silent treatment.
The denial of affection, intimacy, or sex.
Conditional situations. Someone trying to control their relationship will require, "Proof" of their partner's love or commitment. They'll ask for changes in the partner. To take on more of his/her interests or hobbies instead of pursuing or continuing their own, and wanting a 24/7 cheerleader without returning the sentiment.
Power. Physical or verbal abuse. Threats of violence or the end of the relationship.
The battle for control and power can and will get nasty, even if you believe you're doing it for the right reason. Trust me, while you're fighting for control, you're driving a wedge between you both, and the result won't be pretty if you feel as if you need to be in control. You're either so self-centered that you can't admit you're wrong, so independent you don't need anyone, or you're so scared you're going to be taken advantage of. Your self-preservation won't allow you to be successful in any relationship. Either way, you have no business trying to be with anyone. Learn to control your shit; that way, you won't have to control someone else.
While you may be more qualified to take the dominant role in a particular situation, that doesn't translate to ignoring your partner's thoughts or input. Communication is vital; reassure them their voice and opinions are essential. Let them know they'll be consulted before any final decisions will be made. You don't know everything; you're going to be wrong sometime. A relationship is a partnership; someone's watching your back, and you're watching theirs. You can't watch your own. Go ahead, try it; it's called running your dumb ass around in circles.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Mar 08, 2020
They have children from a previous relationship. They want nothing more than to have children with you; however, they want absolutely NOTHING to do with YOUR children from any of your past relationships. Does this sound as fucked up to you as it does to me? Of course, it does, because it's a fucked up thing to think, but it's true. There are people out there who have their children but want to meet someone who doesn't have children, or at least children they have to, "Deal" with. If those kids are older and out of the house, or at least old enough to have their own lives and not need much parental attention, it might not matter as much. Smaller children are a different story, though.
As ridiculous and hypocritical as it sounds, this situation is all too common in today's society. With entitlement becoming more and more apparent among the younger generations, stupid shit like this is just going to increase, and we're so fucking dumb and scared to be alone. We'll put up with or bend to the wishes of the dominant personality of the relationship, just to have someone in our lives. Any man or woman who's willing to walk away from their children to be in a relationship deserves EVERY drop of the shit-soaked rainstorm that's going to fall on their heads during the rest of their lives!
For different reasons, men and women don't want the headache of taking on someone else's children. Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama they think another woman will bring to her present relationship. Of course, that'll be what most women will say, and it may be accurate, but only about 50% of the time. The other half is far simpler unrealistic selfishness. Some just don't deal with complications or jealousy of another person who'll always be in the picture because they share children. They don't like the idea that you have something related to or obligates a portion of time to someone else. They know your ex will be contacting you in the event of an emergency with the children, and you'll fly out the door to the hospital, school, or wherever. They know you'll be communicating about the children, even spending time around each other on certain holidays, such as birthdays and such. That's too much for them to want to deal with. They don't want you to have ties to anyone else, even though they share the same ties to another person with their kids.
Women don't want to deal with the issues and drama another woman might bring to her relationship. Calling and arguing with her or her ex. The ex is talking shit about her to the kids. They are telling them they don't have to respect her or listen to her. The bad behavior or them being spoiled. The money her man has to take from their family to give to someone else. The children he shares with someone else may be of a race or ethnicity they're not very fond of.
If a man wants to see and take care of his children the way he's supposed to, another man won't normally stand in his way, as long as he's respectful to everyone involved. That means he calls before he comes over to get the kids, instead of just showing up whenever he wants. That means respecting their home and not calling to talk shit that new man or coming over just to argue. That new man may have something to say if the ex is flakey and inconsistent when it comes to following through with his promises, which will fuck up those kid's heads. A good, decent man won't allow that to happen for too long; he won't want to deny those children access to their father, but he'll be damned if that other man continuously disappoints those kids.
Believe it or not, when it comes to men, he doesn't have much of an issue with the kids; men will avoid a woman with children because she allowed another man to "Claim" her by getting her pregnant in the first place. There's something about going in unprotected, and being allowed to release himself inside of her. That will set his alarm off and not want to be with her. Even though neither of them is virgins, the fact that she was so connected to another man that she let him fo that is enough to make him see her in a different light, as if she's used or damaged goods. Men will get bent out of shape if they see an attractive but pregnant woman. As stupid as this sounds, you wouldn't believe how many men feel that way, whether they'll admit it or not. A woman will avoid a man who's about to be a father, even if he isn't with the mother anymore.
They don't want your children because they don't want to have to deal with being around someone else, even if the other parent is 100% drama free. That would be even worse; they'll rack their brain, trying to figure out the REAL reason their partner and the ex broke up since they get along so well as strictly parents. They don't want you to have children because they don't want your kids around their kids or the kids you share. They're outcasts who have no place in your present family; they're a distraction, an inconvenience. Some people will ask and expect another person to give up their attachment to their children by someone else to be in a relationship with them, and some people will comply with this request. They're so desperate to have someone in their lives they'll jump and purge anything necessary to secure a relationship for themselves.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Mar 01, 2020
Women are more guilty of asking other women inappropriate questions when it comes to their friends and their relationships, especially new ones. To women, they have an understood and unspoken right to compliment her friend's partner and her relationship more than once and in detail. Men can only give ONE general compliment to another man about his lady; he can't go into detail or give multiple compliments about her before that other man starts to take it as disrespect and interest in his lady. Of course, that won't stop him from making comments and compliments to other men, though.
Women will use their friendship as a cloak of trust and good-natured conversation, a shield of protection against her friend, taking her comments the wrong way. It'll rarely occur to the other person exactly how fucked up it is for her to say anything out of pocket about her friend's man. She's trying to get way too personal about the information that's realistically none of her fucking business. They'll act like they're joking, looking out for you, or making conversation, trying to find out, "Normal" things about him. She'll act like she's trying to make sure you chose the right guy, but based on what SHE thinks is good for you, your interest has very little to do with the questions she's asking.
What you don't realize is that your friend could be gathering information about your man to gauge her interest, compatibility, and attraction to him. She could be plotting to go behind your back and use everything you told her against you and appear to be a better choice for him, based on all the information YOU gave her! By answering her questions, you're telling her absolutely everything she needs to know in order to decide whether or not she wants to make a move on him. They'll count on your friendship to distract you from what they're doing. They know you're excited about your new romance, they'll hope you'll not only turn a blind eye to how fucked up and shitty her questions are but to answer them in detail and with enthusiasm.
Men know better; they may be clueless about a lot of other shit, but not this. They understand without a doubt there's a definitive line in knowing what they can and can't say to another man about his lady, no matter how close they are or how long they've been friends. Men know men. Any detailed compliment about the figure of his friend's lady won't be appreciated. Asking a man over and over again if he's still with his woman, or calling her, "Beautiful" "Sexy" or, "Fine" won't be received well at all. Any inquiries about any portion of their sex life or her sexual ability will almost always cause a rift or even get his ass kicked. Women don't follow those same guidelines; they feel their bonds are stronger, giving them far more rope to tie your hands while they walk right past you and snake your guy.
Even if stealing your man away isn't her plan, there's still the topic of pointless, rude, and inappropriate questions and comments women will make and ask of their friends when it comes to their relationships that men won't. They know it's none of their business. They know that another guy has very little issue telling him it's none of his fucking business or asking why the fuck does he needs to know that, especially anything personal about his lady. Again, women feel they have a stronger, more solidified bond to where they can do that shit; men have no issues ending a friendship over the woman he truly loves, whereas women will honor the friendship more and allow them behind-the-scenes access into their personal shit.
Your friends will ask if you had sex on your first date; and every date until you say, "Yes." They'll how it was, how freaky you got, and if he has a big dick. If it's your first interracial relationship, they'll ask if the rumors about black men having bigger dick are true. If you haven't, they'll ask what or how long you're going to wait until you have sex. They'll try to show concern for you by asking if you're sure just sex isn't what he wanted in the first place.
She'll ask about his job; if he's military, she'll ask his rank, if he's an officer or enlisted and how long he's been in. With those three pieces of information, she can find out exactly how much he makes. She'll ask how much he makes. She'll ask what he drives if he pays for your dates and where he takes you. She wants to know how much he spends on you. She'll ask where he lives, where he hangs out, where he works out, even where he shops. She basically wants to know where she can possibly run into him without you being around. That's DEFINITELY a red flag.
They want to see multiple pictures of him (Without you, of course), and if he doesn't mind that you don't work out as much as he does. Personality and qualities; sometimes they'll insult him and ask you what you like best about him, or they'll insult you by asking what he likes best about you. "What did you do to land him?" That's such a fucking insult to you, it's ridiculous; basically, they're saying something about you is fucked up, so how did you get him to look past it and date you anyway? They'll ask about his flaws if you talk about how much you like him too much. They'll ask if he has kids, or how your kids feel about you dating, or even dating HIM specifically. What the two of you did over the weekend or the holiday is none of their business; they're asking what was so important, they had to give up THEIR time with you so you could be with HIM.
Especially in the beginning stages of a new relationship, we're excited to share as much as we can with our friends. We're happy as hell to start the adventure all over again, hoping this time will be the last time, and we get caught up in the whirlwind of bragging about how great they are. Be careful; not everyone will share your joy and enthusiasm. Jealousy, loneliness, anger, and frustration over their own miserable relationships or lack of one will breed just as much negativity and positivity. Be careful with what you share. You'll end up fucking yourself over or losing your good man because you violated his trust or sent a better candidate right to his front door.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Feb 23, 2020
We are who we are; people can accept us the way we are, or they can go fuck themselves. The truth is, no one can tell anyone how they should feel, but there's more truth that comes along with the, "Like me or not" mentality; the other side of the coin. What one person may see as their right, that also goes for the other millions, or billions of people in the world as well. Think of it as a room full of people who all believe they have a right to be heard; they have the right to be first; they have the right for first rights. Where things take a turn for the worst is when that feeling of entitlement is met with unexpected resistance. No one wants to be challenged or rejected. We're all different creatures, just trying to get along in this world, but there are those who have simple quirks and behaviors that make it a little harder to do just that. Whether justified or not, we're on this earth together; that being said;
Don't get pissy if you want someone you think is hot, and they don't want you. Don't run back like a little powdered bitch and tell her girlfriends she turned you down. Whether you realize it or not, you're a grown-ass man who just went and tattled on a woman because she didn't want you. Hell, can you blame her, you fucking tattle tale; what are you, 3 years old? Don't cut me off while driving or do something else fucked up, then wave at me and smile? I'd rather think you were just an asshole who didn't give a fuck about anyone but yourself rather than you think I was dumb enough to think you turned in front of me by fucking mistake. Don't act like you don't hear your kid crying in the movie theater or acting like an asshole in the restaurant. Why the fuck would you bring a baby or small child to a horror movie? Why would you bring a kid to a movie they don't understand or have an interest in and expect them to sit for 2 hours. Take them outside, get a sitter, or keep your inconsiderate ass at home or quit having fucking kids!
Don't be a dick when someone tells you they don't want to be on social media and not to take their picture. Not everyone wants to be in your fucking panoramic video. If you want to take pictures and videos of you and your friends, that's cool, but be fucking courteous to everyone else, especially with that bright ass fucking camera light. Don't be a dick and park in the red zone in front of a business, you're just a dick if you do. Especially if there's a spot 20 feet away, you fat, lazy fuck. Don't wonder why you and your fat fucking family look the way they do, based on the bullshit you have in your shopping cart. Don't label a player or a whore, based on their friends. Don't get mad when someone offers you a breath mint; there's a fucking reason for that. If you park like shit, don't get mad when your shit gets dented or scratched; learn to fucking park your shit. Some people don't like being touched, so don't get pissed if someone asks you not to touch them. If you're bouncing around to your own beat, don't get mad if your partner walks off the dance floor.
Don't get mad if you get punched in the kidney for trying to tickle someone, especially AFTER they've told you they didn't like it and don't get pissed if you get throat punched for trying to jump out and scare someone. You don't know someone's history; where they've been, or gone through, so don't mad if you walk up behind someone, touch them, and they fuck you up. that's YOUR fault! Of all the empty space in the gym, and you want to work out DIRECTLY behind me, don't get mad when I bend over and rip a huge fucking fart. There's no reason for you to be THAT close to me. If I'm at the ATM and you're too close, I will ask you to back the fuck up. Don't get mad when I step in front of you at the checkout line because you're on your phone with Amy, talking about that cute guy you met last night. If you're sitting on the piece of gym equipment I need to continue my workout, I will ask you to get up!
It's MY parking spot until I pull out; don't fucking honk at me to hurry up because you want my space. I WILL turn my shit off, lock my doors, and find a reason to walk right the fuck back into wherever I just came from. I will call you out for not washing your hands before leaving the restroom or not covering your mouth when you fucking cough. Don't talk to me in the locker room when you're naked and don't talk across me to someone on the other side of when you're naked. Don't get mad when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. If you don't want the truth, don't ask me. Don't be mad because you have a little dick, and nobody wants to fuck you. Don't get mad if someone says you're better off learning to be a master of eating pussy instead. Don't get mad when you can't/don't make your lady cum/orgasm every time.
Your man doesn't want to hear you bitch about how you hate seeing interracial couples, that woman at work who wants to, "Destroy" you, or how much you dislike your body or your weight; don't get pissed off when he finally tells you to shut the fuck up with all that negative shit. Not everyone wants to hear what you did over the weekend, EVERY weekend, so don't get pissed when someone at your job tells you so. Don't get mad when/if someone at the club steps on or scuffs your WHITE sneakers; your shoes are fucking WHITE, what the fuck do you expect in a club? Don't get mad when someone jumps in front of you to order from the same fast-food menu that been posted for the last 20-plus years, and you're staring at it like it's brand fucking new, trying to decide what you want. If you're a man, and you get caught cheating, just expect your ex to tell at least 3 people you have a weak dick and can't fuck. If you're a woman and YOU cheat, don't be surprised if your ex tries to fuck one of your friends out of spite.
More truth? It's going to happen, whether you like it or not; everyone's not going to agree with you or the way you see or do things. Not everyone's going to go along with your ideas or follow you blindly into the unknown. You're going to annoy the fuck out of people, and people are going to do the same to you. There are people out there who will call you out on your bullshit as well. How you deal with this is another one of your rights. You can choose to be an adult, or you can choose to turn bitch and cry like a baby. You can choose to agree or disagree with someone. You can choose to just let it go or get pissy.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Feb 16, 2020
You know you fucked up; they know you fucked up. In the event that you fucked up and for some reason they take you back, just admit you fucked up. Everyone else knows you fucked up, so why go back into the same rut, denying you fucked up after you've already suffered for it? The only person you're fooling is yourself, thinking anyone's going to believe you didn't fuck up. You've already paid the price for fucking up; you got dumped, they moved on for a while; dated, had at least one other relationship, maybe even had sex with someone else. You've put the time, effort, and patience into reconciliation and redemption. You've busted your ass showing you can be trusted and, you've earned yourself another chance to prove yourself, so why go right back to claiming innocence? The only thing you're really doing is sabotaging yourself, making it seem like you haven't changed a bit; in doing so, you're sending the message you're still the lying, manipulative assbag who got caught doing dirty shit and the coward who couldn't be adult enough to admit it, even when confronted with the truth.
Admitting you fucked up shows you just may have learned your lesson and changed your ways for the better. You're showing the possibility that you grew the fuck up and realized the bullshit you were trying to pull back in the day was straight garbage, and it made you look like such a fucking loser. It was only a matter of time before your shit caught up with you. Denial after the fact makes you appear as if haven't changed and, you're still on the path of the same shit you were on when you were fucking up.
Having any discussion about whatever happened in the past is a bad idea, whether the memory is good or bad. Good memories will remind them of how much they put into the relationship, and they got fucked over. In your mind, you're thinking that telling them of the good times you had together may help your case, but the belief things will ever go back to the way they were is a delusion. Leave the past in the past and focus on the future; the second chance you have now. Again, talking about it is just going to remind them of how you fucked up and possibly change their mind about your second chance.
Denial of your actions is just a dumb fucking thing to do, especially when you're staring down the business end of a double-barreled shotgun loaded with evidence against you. That you are hardened in concrete or purely circumstantial, there's no reason to dispute the text messages, voicemails, social media info, or the side piece. It makes you look even worse when you walk back into the relationship, immediately trying to explain yourself or claiming your innocence after you've fought your way out of the hole you dug for yourself. Bringing it up re-opens the wound, making the healing process the second time around much more painful and time-consuming.
Bringing old shit up is no different than you trying to find out what they did during the time you weren't together. That's none of your business. What they did, If they went out with anyone else, slept with anyone else. What will you do if they did? What will you say if you found out they went wild and fucked 3-4 people during the six months you weren't together? You fucked 10-12 different people for the whole year. The two of you WERE together! Don't ask why they decided to give you another chance; that doesn't matter either. Someone gives you 5,000 dollars Scott-free, are you going to ask why they're doing it, or are you just going to take the money? Sometimes not knowing is best.
You fucked up, cop to it. Better yet, don't even bring that shit up if they don't. If it's not essential to them, it shouldn't be relevant to you; your explanation and apology are for you, not them. They don't care why you did it; they're over it, and you should be too. Your focus should be on showing you're not the lying, cheating piece of shit they walked away from.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Feb 09, 2020
Being able to talk dirty and not sound like a fucking weirdo, player, or deviant is something a lot of people are unable to do. Trying to turn your partner on vocally is not so different than trying to do the same physically. Planning, confidence, and primal instinct are still key factors when trying to create an image where the goal is to sexually excite your partner verbally. It's far more in-depth than just throwing out words like Dick, Pussy, and Fuck; you'll have to do a hell of a lot more and better than that. You'll sound like an insane circus freak, instead of turning on your partner or getting them in the mood.
First off, have a goal; what's the endgame? Sex? Playful flirting? Knowing she's at work with her legs crossed, trying to keep her soaking wet panties from running down her legs into her shoes? Knowing he's in his office, hard as a rock? The anticipation of biting down on his briefcase handle, taking the dick from behind? Are you hoping he'll pick you up, set you on the kitchen counter and shove his face between your legs? What's the final result? The point of this entire venture?
Second, planning. Are you going for what's typical for you and your partner, or are you aiming to step it up a notch and create a scenario you may have seen in porn or something you've wanted to try? Are you trying to test the waters to see how they'll react to the idea of role-playing, or experimenting with different places, situations, or positions? Or are you going straight for the fences? You want the joy and thrill of the fantasy; the things you'd NEVER actually try, but they sound good? The thought, the idea, the detailed account of a threesome while having sex with your partner drives you both fucking nuts, even though you know it'll never happen. A sex club or outside voyeur experience? The thought of someone walking by and catching you getting it on outside the car in a dark parking lot? The swinger lifestyle? Whatever the topic, just talking about it gets you in the mood.
Execution is third. Some of that shit you're talking you're going to have to deliver on and follow through with. Otherwise, the dirty talk will probably and most likely lose. Its appeal fizzles out after a while and becomes stale as hell. It'll become just talk.
On the other hand, don't dwell on the dirty talk for every encounter. You'll make it seem like the only way you can get off is if you're talking about being with your partner and someone else, or if you're constantly talking about fucking in front of strangers or partner-swapping. It's not an every time thing; otherwise, you're going to eventually fuck up your partners' head about whether or not it's just talking for you, or if you want to do the things you've both agreed were off-limits. They'll start to think you're bored with your sex life. Listen to each other; respond to one another. Don't be ashamed to tell your man you want to sit on his dick like a frog on a lily pad. Don't feel like you're less than a man to tell your women you want to eat her pussy until she goes blind. The point is sexual arousal. So, arouse each other!
Don't think you're going to use anatomically correct or scientific terms when talking dirty. The penis isn't sexy. The vagina isn't either. Intercourse isn't going to get her wet, and labia isn't going to make him want to pick up your legs from behind and fuck you wheelbarrow style. If you're having issues, either stand in front of the mirror, write it down, or even send your dirty message via text. You can't sound timid or unsure of yourself when talking dirty, or else you're going to come off fetal as hell, and it's going to destroy the whole point. Don't sound like you're asking for permission; own that shit, or at least pretend that you do.
You are turning your partner on verbally and satisfies an emotional need for you both. It let the other person know you still see them as a sexual being; that they're not just the father or mother of your children. It reassures the other you're more than just, "Roommates" who share the same bed. Talking dirty is more than just spouting out slang terms for body parts or activities; it's a way to express your attraction and desire for another person. It's not meant to be funny to make someone feel less than before you started. It's about making each other comfortable and reassuring them you find them sexually, sensually, and intimately pleasing to be with. It makes a woman feel like a woman who still has her sex appeal. It makes a man feel like he's still a man who can satisfy his woman.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Feb 02, 2020
You don't NEED a man; you WANT a man. Stop saying that shit! Yeah, you're super independent and pay for all your own shit, so ante up when the check comes to the table. If he pays for the movie, step the hell up and pay for the popcorn, drink, or whatever you or he may want.
You don't NEED a man, you WANT one is down and dirty for, you have one foot out the door, and if he pisses you off, you're out the fucking door. You're telling him you could give a fuck if he stays or goes; your relationship has a limited value to her. You're telling him if you don't get your way or if he leaves the toilet seat up, you're gone. If he doesn't close the potato chip bag tight enough and they go stale, you're out. He's living in a right to work state relationship where he could get fired and sent on his way for any reason whatsoever. Why the fuck would you think a good, decent man would want to be with a woman who feels like that, much less say that stupid shit to him?
You don't care what he has to say or feels about this subject; this is YOUR choice, and he can roll with it, or you'll roll right past him to the next person. The ONLY men who'll be okay with your way of thinking is a weak man who's options are severely limited, and he's just happy someone wants him, even if temporary; OR a man who only wants to fuck you and your personal shit doesn't concern him anyway. As long as he's getting some ass, you can keep your NEED/WANT mantra to yourself.
Being comfortable by yourself instead of settling for the wrong person is admirable, especially in this modern time, where everyone seems to want to be with someone, even if they're no good for you. A good man wants to be needed; that not only reassures his masculinity and instincts to protect and provide. Telling him, you don't need him will also fuck up your sex life too. Why would you say to a man you don't need him, but you expect him to stay faithful to a relationship you've already put a sell-by date on? Why would it bother you to find out he met someone while the two of you were still together? Are you mad you pissed off because HE dumped YOU first?
You tell him you don't NEED a man, but WANT one because you've been fucked over so much in the past, your walls are high as fuck, and you're looking for a man to prove himself worthy. Still, you don't realize your statement will keep a man from even trying to show you he's different because you've already told him he's not good enough. The problem is, you don't understand you're fucking yourself over when you're telling him you don't need him, instead of telling him you need time to trust and believe in him before you can give yourself.
Stop telling him you can get off without him. If you have a battery-operated boyfriend or other types of sexual devices, don't keep that shit in the nightstand next to the bed. If he can't make you orgasm, don't fucking finish getting off while lying next to him; don't reach down and rub yourself off while he's still inside of you, that's so fucked up! Stop telling men you don't need them because you want to hold on to your independence. When you say that shit, you're telling him, he'll never have all of you, not your head, your heart, body, mind, NOTHING! You're telling him eventually you'll reach a point where you'll either go stagnant or go your separate ways. A decent man won't agree to this, so right then and there, or down the road, the relationship will end.
Stop telling him you'll be fine without him. If he's a good man, why the hell would you tell him that? You're so worried about losing yourself, your independence, and your identity, you'll keep him at bay for self-preservation. He wants nothing but the best for you and the relationship. But you're clouded by what's happened to you in the past. Of course, we all bring emotional baggage with us. Still, to pre-sabotage your present relationship with a bullshit statement like you don't NEED him will challenge him masculinity and damage his idea of his self-worth in your eyes. Sooner or later, he WILL find someone who'll appreciate him for the man he is; then, you're assed out, wondering what you did to deserve being fucked over again and again. The answer? You keep fucking telling men you don't NEED them!
You're telling him he'll never be worthy of you. No matter what he does or how good he is to you, it'll never be enough to deserve you truly. We realize everything we want isn't the best choice for us. Telling him, you don't need a man, but want one says she already has made up her mind; she's not going to get serious about you past a certain point. You may not be the best choice for her, and she's keeping her options open or preparing her exit in case something better comes along, or she gets to where she cares so much about you, she doesn't want to be without you; then she'll run. She doesn't want you to have that much influence or what she sees as power over her.
So, hold on to your independence, your resolve. When you're sick, depressed, hurting physically, mentally, or emotionally, remember your statement. When you NEED that shoulder to cry on or that person who'll be there for you when you NEED to get something off your chest. When you're trying your best, and you NEED that extra push to reach your goals and no one's there because you don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. Your friends will be there, but there's something different; something more gratifying when you have that special someone to share your victories with. From the moment you make that statement, you begin pushing him away; you're setting yourself up for a short-term relationship. You're telling him eventually you'll get tired of being with him and you'll leave. He'll never see or get the best of you. You don't NEED a man, you WANT a man. You just missed out on a GOOD man.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jan 26, 2020
Do girls mature faster than boys? Society tends to think so, but it depends on who you ask. I don't believe they do. Boys want to remain boys for as long as they can, but with adult components attached to them. Girls just want to act fucking grown, and that's the farthest thing from maturity I can think of.
If boys could legally drink, drive, get into bars, and fuck 21-year-old women, they'd stay 16 years old for at least 5-6 years. Girls are in such a hurry to act and be treated like she's 21 and would stay there for the rest of their lives.
Girls don't mature faster; they just want to act fucking grown, especially if they have older sisters. They want to circumvent the developmental milestones their siblings had to wait for and do what they're doing now; they don't want to wait. In their minds, their parents are too old school, and they don't understand what it's like now; things are different from when her parents were her age. All the other girls are wearing makeup, dressing far older than they should, staying out late, dating earlier, etc. That's the main reason girls run out and get something pierced or tattooed on their 18th birthday. It's a declaration of independence, a statement to her parents, telling them she's grown and doesn't need their permission for a damn thing anymore.
Younger girls are in a hurry to date, get a boyfriend, and dress more grown and revealing, not because they mature faster, but to be seen and taken by society as a woman. She'll want to set her boundaries and flex her independence, but still, be able to call on mom and dad to bail her out of trouble if she gets into some real shit. She wants to be grown when things are going her way, but want to jump back to being, "Daddy's little princess" When she needs rescuing. When it comes to men, girls will lie about their age to get an older guy who drinks, drives, has his own place, or whatever else it is he does or has to make her feel and appear older in the eyes of his peers. She puts that older guy on the chopping block with her father and the law, just to act fucking grown, believing the "Boys" her age are too immature.
Girls don't mature faster than boys; they're put into positions to grow up faster under certain circumstances. Their mothers put far too much responsibility on these girls and rob them of their personal lives by looking to them to help raise their younger brothers and sisters. 13 or 14-year-old girl is making bottles, changing diapers, even being more of the disciplinarian than their own mothers. As they get older, they're denied their own lives by being kept at home to babysit while mom works or makes some attempt to reclaim what she missed out on by having children so early in life. Not only does this make girls try harder to act grown, but it also makes them resent their siblings and their parents. It also puts her in the situation when she does get to go out. She'll act wild as hell.
Boys don't try to act grown; They're okay with living at home. They have someone to cook their meals, do their laundry, and solve their problems. He'll grow up in his own time, organically and naturally. Girls will try to assert what they feel is maturity by stepping out of bounds with grown-ass behavior, thinking they're on the same level as the older women around her, no matter what their age difference is. She'll believe she's mature enough to interrupt and participate in adult conversations. She steps out of place and insert herself into a group of women twice her age and assume or act as if they're all on the same level; she'll ask questions, speak as if she's had the same problems, experiences, and will even try to give input and advice on shit she has no idea about.
Girls are in a hurry to grow up faster; they want to do the same things their older sisters are doing, without waiting until she's the same age they were allowed to. They'll compare themselves to those older siblings, even her parents. "That's not fair; mom gets to do it!" Mom's fucking grown, and she's been through it already; her own experience trumps you acting grown. The shit you're talking and trying to pull over your parent's eyes, they went through with your older sisters! They know the game! Whatever you THINK you can come up with that your parents haven't heard, think again; they've forgotten more than you know or will ever learn.
Maturity is knowing your place and respecting the rules and boundaries set by your parents and accepting the fact that you're not as mature as you think you are. It's knowing you have to wait to date, wear makeup, stay up later, etc. Acting grown is waiting until you leave the house to hike up your skirt or dress, roll up the top of your shorts to make them shorter, and wiggle your 15-year-old butt through the halls at school or up and down the walkway at the mall. Acting grown is lying about your age to attract older men because you're convinced you're beyond the guys your own age. Maturity is knowing you're not ready; it's not your time. Acting grown is knowing the same thing, but not giving a fuck.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jan 19, 2020
You're not ready to get married; the hand that rocks the cradle rules the home concept is bullshit. Both participants should equally run the home. If the daily effort of the house isn't a joint effort, then you're not ready to be married.
You're essentially married at the moment you accepted their proposal. You're married by practice; the wedding is just the ceremonial and legal aspect of marriage. When you said, "Yes," You agreed to become husband and wife at right at that moment.
You're not ready to get married because you view your bachelor or bachelorette party as a celebration of your "Last night of freedom." That bullshit is nothing more than a last-minute, "Hall pass" to do dumb shit before walking down the aisle. If you're viewing your impending marriage as giving up your freedom and that needs to be celebrated, especially with getting shit-faced drunk, paying for strippers and such, you're not ready to be married. You're not prepared to be married because you see your impending marriage as a halt to your ability to go out and have fun without your partner and, "Act single."
You're not ready because you feel like you're giving up your personality, your identity, your individuality. You're sacrificing who you are to be someone's husband or wife. You're not ready because you still need and enjoy outside attention from the opposite sex, even though you have no interest in them; it still means a lot to you that others find you attractive and desirable. You still want to hang out with your friends until 3 am, without calling. You're still hanging out with people who are trying to get you to continue behaving as if you're still single; "You're not married yet, so live it up!" Right?
"Happy wife, happy life??" that's such a fucking dumb thing to believe, much less let come out of your mouth. That statement invalidates your equality. That's saying YOUR happiness isn't as important to the success of your relationship as hers. Your equality in the relationship; your thought, ideas, feelings, etc. are of no importance in comparison to hers. If you can't be just a generally happy in the everyday dynamic of your relationship, you shouldn't have gotten married. The phrase SHOULD be, "Happy couple, happy life." Her job is to make you just as happy and satisfied in the relationship as you make her.
You shouldn't have gotten married because your spouse goes out shopping for a new dress or shirt and slacks, and the thought of bringing something home for you didn't even cross their minds. They didn't even call to see if you wanted them to bring you home anything to eat, EVER! You need a special day or occasion to do something special for them or each other, such as a birthday, holiday, or anniversary — the concept of, "Just because" means nothing to either of you.
You're not ready to be married because you don't even see each other as a man and a woman in a relationship; you view each other as nothing more than the parents of your children. Your husband isn't your husband anymore, and he's the father of your children and vice versa. You have no concept that you're married to a man or a woman who still needs the attention, affection, sensuality, and intimacy a man and a woman provide for each other. You're not ready to be married because you're only asking because she's pregnant or you have kids together. You use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment to correct what's viewed as a negative behavior or to get something you want.
You're not ready to be married because you're not getting any younger. You might as well marry them since you've been together for so long. The pressure from your family and friends are why you're asking. You're not ready to get married because you have to ask in public to ensure they'll accept your proposal; you know they won't turn you down in a restaurant full of people or in front of your family and friends. They're not ready to marry you because you have to give them an ultimatum. You're not prepared to get married because the only reason you're asking because you don't want to break up, or you know someone else has their eye on your partner.
They're not ready because they had/have to weigh out the pros and cons of accepting your proposal. You're not ready to be married because you're still bringing up and arguing over the same bullshit from your past.
You're not ready because when asked why you love them or want to get married, you can't think of anything off the top of your head; you stumble through your answer like a machine gun on full auto. It took you 3-5 minutes to come up with a solution; if you have to write your own vows, you're up fuck creek, without a condom.
"Cold feet" is bullshit. You're still weighing the pros and cons of walking down the aisle. You're still wondering if you're making the right decision or if you're thinking about being with just one person for the rest of your life. He's thinking about all the pussy he's going to miss out on, especially after his bachelor party. She's thinking about the guys from her past or present that could've been good choices, if not better than who's about to marry. Cold feet means you're not ready to be married because you're thinking about other options or possibilities.
You're not ready because you're still in the "Mine" phase in your relationship. Your partner can't communicate something as simple as feeling uncomfortable with a choice you've made — my body, my choice, my life, etc. If you're still living in the center of a "Minefield," you're not ready to be married.
You're not ready to be married because she's been told over and over again and believes the wedding is, "Her day" That's another fucked up thing to say and believe. The wedding is not just HER day; the day belongs to both of you equally. It should be seen and treated as an equally important and special day for the BOTH of you, not just for HER. Any deviation from this theory is selfish, self-centered, and shitty. It's not about her; it's about both of you.
If you're not ready, you're not prepared. Don't accept a proposal if you're unsure. Don't put someone in a position where they MUST accept to avoid humiliating you. Recognize that you aren't ready. Communicate your feelings regularly, and you can avoid feeling like you have to get married in order to stay together. In order to see yourself being ready, you have to see yourself prepared to put in 100%. That means there's no more, "I," "Mine," or "Yours."
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jan 12, 2020
Jealousy. It's a fork in the road that can lead down two different paths; one of motivation, the other down the path of shitty self-image and low self-esteem. The first thing we need to understand is that jealousy is an insult, whether you believe it or not. Even light-hearted jealousy is nothing more than saying what you have isn't good .enough, compared to what someone else has. If a woman's jealous of her friend's new man, she's telling her own guy he's not good enough to be in the same ring with this other guy and vice-versa. She's telling him he doesn't stack up in comparison to look to, money, style, physique, etc. A man who's jealous of his friend's new lady is telling his woman the same thing; she's inferior in weight, class, figure, poise, beauty, etc. Jealousy in someone else's relationship in saying your own relationship fails to meet the standards of someone else's. Jealousy will raise or cause you to realize what you have is sub-par and needs adjustment. Jealousy of someone else's relationship says you could've done better, but you settled for them.
Jealousy over someone else's car says your car is substandard, compared to theirs; the same goes for anything else you find yourself jealous of. Jealousy over another person's sex life is saying your sex life is mediocre at best when compared to another couple,s and you could do much better, but you don't want to put the time or effort into finding it. Jealousy over strangers is even worse; these are people you don't even fucking know. You're jealous of how another woman's man looks at the club, you're telling your man he ain't shit, compared to that other guy. You're jealous of how another woman looks at the gym in her yoga/stretch pants? You're telling your lady she's built like a plastic bag of jagged rocks, compared to that other woman.
Jealousy over another person's partner is basically an internal statement saying, "I wish I had him/her, instead of you!" Jealousy over what someone else has is saying the same; they wish they had what that other person had, instead of what they have now. Money, car, job, relationship, clothes, figure, muscles, etc. You name it; it fits under the umbrella of dissatisfaction.
Back to the message at hand, jealousy can motivate someone to put the time, effort, and hard work into bringing themselves up to meet their own internal standard, not yours or anyone else's. It's all about them and whether or not they want to step up and take on the challenge of upgrading themselves past jealousy status. A woman will only find the motivation to upgrade herself past jealousy if SHE chooses; not to meet the standards of her man. Men will only rise to his own standard if HE chooses to. In the gym, people will see others in better shape or lifting significantly more weight than they can. Their choices are either rise to the challenge or allow themselves to feel defeat before the battle even begins.
The other road in this fork leads down the path of shitty self-image and confidence. Who wants to be with someone who thinks they don't measure up to someone else? For some people, jealousy is a motivator to step up and upgrade themselves to the level of someone else, but not as much as those who'll allow themselves to wallow in self-doubt. Knowing your partner thinks his/her friend's partner is superior to you in some or every way can fuck up your head. It'll make you not give a fuck and stay right where you are. Or it can put that fire in your ass to take that first step. If you've chosen the fire, don't fuck up and burn yourself, trying to take on a full upgrade all at once, set short-term goals for yourself, and celebrate the small victories as you go along. If you've decided not to, communicate to your partner how fucked up their comments about how their jealousy makes you feel.
Another type of jealousy is manufactured. An innocent comment or comparison could create a sense of jealousy where the insult of jealousy isn't from the jealous, but the other person. Comparing the GREAT cup of coffee they had somewhere else will make the jealous person wonder why he/she never has a second cup of THEIR coffee. A man will praise and congratulate his woman on losing 15 lbs., but will apeshit and straight into a celebratory mode when he sees the next-door neighbor who lost the same 15 lbs. with a resounding, "WOW! You look great!"
The worst thing a person can do is rationalize their reaction to be of equal caliber. No, it's not; don't even try that shit. When she meets your brother for the first time, and he's 6'2, 235 lbs. of straight movie star muscle, and she can't seem to stop staring. When you bring it up to her, she responds with, "Don't be like that babe, you look good too." That's manufactured jealousy, and it's NOT just in his head. The insult isn't coming from the jealous person; it's coming from you! You're saying, "I know you did your best, but damn, that looks better."
Believing jealousy to be a way to prove you care about someone, they'll manufacture jealousy from their partner by bragging about the attention and advances from other members of the opposite sex. You're essentially telling your partner they better step their game up because other people are waiting to replace you and if you're not careful or do what you should be doing, one of them could take them away. This tactic is popular but risky and dumb as fuck. You'll mess around and try that shit with the wrong person and quickly end up on single status; it's even worse when you lied and made that shit up, to manufacture jealousy.
So, what's the point of jealousy? To insult someone else, to point out they're the alternate choice. They're saying you're good enough, but damn, that looks better! Manufactured jealousy is for you; to make you feel better about yourself and build your self-esteem. You're trying to make someone jealous because you can't/won't communicate your need for affirmation from your partner.
Regardless of the situation or the subject in question, jealousy is a fucking insult; there's no way around it. It's a shitty insult that you're rubbing in someone else's face or harboring within yourself. True, jealousy can be a hell of a motivator to upgrade yourself, but it can also fuck you or your partner's head up. You want what someone else has, and you're telling someone they're not good enough, but you settled for them anyway.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Jan 05, 2020
It's that time of year; where people stand in front of the mirror, take a good, hard look at themselves and evaluate their lives over the last 12 months; Their successes, failures, triumphs, and tragedies. Additionally, the time of year of self-reflection and the birthplace of plans or a whole new you in the year to come. Resolutions. The pledge to better yourself in the upcoming year in terms of life, love, profession, health, mental, and emotional well-being. Resolving to be a better person at the beginning of the new year is a right of passage for many, many people, but the truth of the matter is, if you're making New Year's resolutions, you're going to fail.
You're going to quit smoking. You vow to give up drugs and not drink so much. You're going to end things with the person your stepping out of your relationship or marriage with. You're going to use that gym membership you've been paying for but never walked through the door since signing up three years ago. You're going to lose weight. You're going to eat healthier and give up coffee. You're going to start going back to church. Whatever your resolution is, it's going to fail, at least for about 85% of you. Why? Because you've been making the same bullshit resolutions every year for the past ten years!
Your resolutions are going to fail because if you REALLY wanted to make these changes, you'd start IMMEDIATELY! You wouldn't wait for the new year to start; you'd start now. Resolutions are nothing more than statements of intent, but procrastinating for just a few months longer, hoping another reason for you to back outcomes along. Your resolutions are going to fail because you don't want to make the changes; your family does. You know you spend enough time with your family, your wife, or your kids, but you just HAVE to watch football all day on Sunday. You realize you smell like shit when you come back after a smoke break, and your co-workers are forced to smell that shit for the next hour or so. The same goes for pot smokers. You know you need to eat healthier and exercise because you have a history of a particular illness in your family.
You know you're not doing the right thing. Knowing you should change. Knowing you need to. Knowing it'll be the best thing for you to do. These are NOT strong enough reasons to remain vigilant, steadfast, and dedicated to your resolutions. You have to WANT to make the change for yourself to be successful. You need to surround yourself with like-minded people who share the same common goal as you so you can feed each other support and harvest motivation and drive from each other's triumphs as well as failures.
Form a weight-loss club, a stop smoking circle with people who WANT to stop smoking so you can help each other through the cravings. Be honest with your partner and your family about how you realize you don't spend enough time with them, and it's okay for them to come to you when they're feeling neglected. Take ownership of your addictions. Whatever your undesired vice is, whatever changes you want to make, do it for the right reasons.
Resolutions are a joke. Resolutions are for people who truly have the intention of doing better and being better, but it's just procrastination. Start making the changes now, especially when you're trying to convince yourself and others that you're serious about being better. I'm sure your friends and family are tired of hearing you swear you'll never touch drugs or alcohol again, but they know from their experiences you're lying. Resolutions are for people who make their intent to change SOUND good. Don't wait until the new year to begin; before you can convince others your change is sincere, you have to believe it first. You have to prove yourself to yourself before anyone else can or will take you seriously.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Dec 15, 2019
There are doors we simply won't walkthrough. They seem funny or silly to others, but it's no laughing matter. You may not know someone's history or reason behind their reluctance to make an appearance in certain places or events, even if you've known them for a long time. The last thing you should do is laugh at or make fun of them; it's their thing. Fear of open water. Heights. Snakes and spiders. Public speaking. Some are common and understandable, but other people might not give thought to because they seem so normal. Nevertheless, if someone tells you they have an issue with something, it's not for you to humiliate them or share with anyone else.
- HOSPITALS: A lot of people don't do hospitals. Grandma went in to have her appendix out and never left. Grandad went in for kidney surgery and never came out. Dad went in for liver surgery and never made it. That's why they hate hospitals.
- DENTIST: The dentist is pretty much associated with pain or at least discomfort, even when it comes to just a cleaning. The needle in the mouth, the drill, that nasty tasting rubber thing they put in your mouth when they're doing a filling. There's nothing good about the dentist at all.
- GYM: This could be an intimidating place for a lot of people, especially if you're a newbie, with no idea what you're doing, even though you're trying hard as hell to look like you do. Women avoid the gym because they feel as if they're being judged or compared to the other women that are there.
- COURT: Traffic ticket. Jury duty. Pretty much any time you have to go to court is like being a guest on a tabloid-style talk show, expecting to be the first person ever to set foot on stage and receive good news. That's just not going to happen.
- FUNERALS: Not only does a funeral remind us of our own mortality and eventual death, but it's also just creepy as fuck.
- LIBRARY: Few places can make a person feel more intimidated, uneducated, and stupid as the library. Dewey Decimal is NOT a cartoon character from your childhood.
- WEDDINGS: The reminder of how much of a disaster your marriage was, how messy the divorce, and the custody/child support battle you're fighting at the moment.
- BRIDAL SHOWERS: Another reminder that you're alone, and you have absolutely no prospects.
- BABY SHOWERS: A reminder of the miscarriage from 5 years ago or perhaps the child they lost to a drunk driver or red light runner two years ago. Maybe it's a fact they're unable to have children of their own. It's like going dancing if you're in a wheelchair; you don't want to be reminded of what you'll NEVER be able to do again.
- NIGHTCLUBS/BARS: Recovering alcoholic. Fear of crowds. They could've been the victim of a sexual assault that began at a club or bar. One or both their parents might have been alcoholics.
- SUPERMARKETS/SHOPPING: Out of control spending or addiction to impulse-buying keeps the budget intact.
- BRIDGES: Just HELL, NO!
- HAUNTED HOUSES: You don't know a person's past or history. Some people just don't do well with being scared or having things jump out at them. They may have been a rape victim or combat veteran; either way, being startled isn't a good thing.
- HORROR MOVIES: That's just a huge HELL NO for some people.
- FLIGHTS/CRUISES: Basic lack of control; your life is in the hands of someone you don't even know what they look like.
- THE BASEMENT AT NIGHT: Fuck you; I'm not going. The fuse box is in the basement? Guess what? We are not getting the fuse changed. That circuit breaker's staying fucked up until the next morning. Or we're ALL going down in that fucking basement TOGETHER! All 6 of us!
- PUBLIC RESTROOMS: Some restrooms are so gross and nasty; you'd probably contract a damn disease, STD, or end up pregnant if you use that toilet.
- CAMPING: Cabin in the woods? Okay. Tents and sleeping bags? Fuck you! Have you never seen a horror movie in your entire life?
- THE WOODS: Are you serious? Fuck you twice with a ribbon and a handwritten note, addressed to the stupid asshat who went out in the woods at night that reads, "You're gonna die!"
- THE LAKE/RIVER IN THE WOODS: Three words; SALT. WATER. CROCODILE.
- OPEN PUBLIC VENUES: Some people just don't do large crowds, especially with their small children. People plan out and train to be able to snatch you or your kids in plain view or right from under your nose.
- NEW PLACES: Some people just aren't comfortable being in places they've never been to before. Or they hate being the first person to arrive somewhere their friends are meeting. They'll sit in the car until someone else walks up or has arrived.
- BEACH: Some feel as if they're showing too much of themselves. Fear of open water or everyone's staring at them.
- ANYPLACE, ALONE: From the mall parking garage to the grocery store parking lot, to their own home, some have an issue with being alone; just the presence of a pet makes them feel better, just as long as they're not by themselves. 100% fear-based.
While I'm sure there are more that can be added to this list, we all have those quirky places or events that just don't sit right with us, and whenever they come up, we fire right back with a resounding, "Hell NO!" If you're on the receiving end of a response like this, don't be an asshole; just because you don't see an issue doesn't mean there isn't one. Be respectful and don't try to make fun of or try to get them to talk about it if they don't want to. Would you want to be pressured into opening an emotional wound from your past? Would you want to be made fun of because you have an issue with heights or thunder and lightning?
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Dec 1, 2019
With just their well-being in mind, wanting the best for someone else is hard to believe when they haven't asked for your help. Sure, the goal is to protect someone from making a huge mistake or committing an action that'll cause one harm, negative reactions, or consequences. Their safety may be on the forefront of our minds when trying to be honest about something, but deep down, some just want to be a hero, they want to be right, to show someone else they're not as street smart or prepared to take on a task or responsibility. Unless asked, there's almost always an underlying, sometimes subconscious ulterior motive when volunteering honesty, advice, or criticism.
Criticism is something of another beast altogether. The initial or core purpose can be the same as with honesty, but the delivery is obviously different. People who criticize may not have the vocabulary, common sense, or social skills to navigate a conversation past a certain level. Criticism is another person's version of the truth, based on how they think, feel, and would personally deal with a situation. Criticism may also be how a person would WANT to react, but wouldn't actually do so in fear of the consequences. They don't have the tact or the ability to deliver their version of honesty without being disrespectful or mindful of the other person's feelings. Criticism is usually done on the fly and off the cuff, with very little pre-planning when it comes to how to present their advice or how it'll be received.
Regardless of which one you're guilty of unless someone has actually asked for it, it's pretty much safer to keep your advice to yourself, no matter your intentions. Verbal abuse is the exception; it can be voiced without warning or concern for anyone else but the abuser.
On very few occasions, will two people be on the exact same page or level when it comes to sex? One could be more experienced or open to experimentation than the other One may have been taught specific actions or behaviors are shameful, wrong, or disrespectful. They don't have the confidence or imagination to take sex to the next level, so care has to be taken when trying to communicate, introducing something new into the bedroom. The last thing you'd want to do is give the impression they're inadequate, and you'll start to look elsewhere for satisfaction. Along the same lines criticizing your partner's sex drive, whether in over or underdrive, has to be discussed with caution. You'll end up fucking someone's head up, even more, putting more strain on an already sensitive subject. Size and performance should never be open for criticism.
Our interests and hobbies differ naturally. We're attracted to people we share things in common with, but just because someone's not as good at dancing, basketball, bowling, pool, or swimming isn't a reason to laugh, criticize, or verbally attack them. Barking at them will only make them not want to do anything or go anywhere with you, especially if it's done in public.
It's embarrassing enough for someone to have to deal with a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a job, without being criticized for having to move back home as an adult. It's different when dealing with someone who just doesn't want to work or better themselves because they don't want to grow up and be responsible. Find out someone's circumstances before criticizing and passing judgment. Criticizing someone's job is another thing. Just because you're making six-figures doesn't mean you have the right to talk shit or pass judgment on someone else because they're not. If you want someone as career-driven as you, don't date an artist, writer, or the guy/girl who works in the mailroom, go for that CEO hopeful. Everyone who is unemployed isn't a bum or unmotivated freeloader, looking for a handout. Trust me, a REAL man or woman already feels like shit because they lost their job or can't find one out of college. If you can't be supportive, keep your criticisms to yourself.
It's better to try, fail, and learn a lesson than to go through life, wondering what could've been. Criticizing someone's goals and dreams is a shitty thing to do; most of the time. Even when those aspirations are unrealistic, support is the best thing you can give. On the flip side, trying to be a rapper at 45 years old is a little ridiculous when you have no regular income. Not wanting to leave your present job for a better one because you can't/won't pass the drug screen is another issue in itself. If smoking weed, drinking, or not wanting to dress professionally is the reason you won't leave your fast-food job at 50 years old, you shouldn't even be wasting your time with them; they sure as hell don't care about your criticism.
The only dumb questions are those that go unasked. Criticizing someone's questions is shitty. Because something is common sense to you is definitely not a reason to make someone feel like shit for asking you to explain or elaborate.
There's absolutely no way, shape, or form to question or criticize a person's weight, figure, fitness, and it not be met with a fucked-up response. Even when their health is at risk, this is one subject that must be met and dealt with like a newborn child. There are just some things people have no control over, such as the behavior of their friends or their relatives and how they may feel about something such as interracial relationships. Don't make it someone else's fault because their friends or family members are drug addicts, racists, or alcoholics. You may not even approve of their significant other or spouse; if that's the case, there's really nothing you can do about it besides deal with it or cut all ties with them.
Just because you spend a significant amount of time and money on your wardrobe, don't get involved with jeans and t-shirt type of guy/girl when you're always dressed to impress. You may have the credit or money to buy a brand new car, buy name brand clothes on impulse or drop a nice chunk of change on an expensive meal; it doesn't make someone else less than human if they can't or choose to save for a rainy day. Again, if you're looking for that type of person or friends, surround yourself with those types of people, instead of complaining or criticizing someone who doesn't or can't afford what you can. Along with that, don't be a fucking asshat and talk shit if you invite someone out and agree to pick up the check.
Even if fully aware, parents don't want to hear what you have to say about their kids, unless it actively concerns the law or their safety. If one of your friends has children that are assholes, just don't hang out with them. Don't invite them to your house or don't go anywhere with them. If they're meek, docile pushovers, calling them names or trying to give advice on how to toughen up their son or feminize, their daughter will be met with malcontent, anger, and defensive response.
People take things differently; what you may not see as a big deal may be an erupting volcano to someone else. Criticizing how somebody takes something that was said or done makes you insensitive and judgmental, overly sensitive won't be taken well at all. Leave the ass-backward apologies at home as well. "I'm sorry you took it that way" isn't an apology for what you said or did; you're accusing them of being overly sensitive Apologizing is for your benefit, not theirs.
Telling someone they NEED to do something is not only critically shitty and rude but borderline abusive. Telling someone they NEED to lose weight, they NEED to get a better job, they NEED to discipline their kids has nothing to do with their best interest; it's all about YOU and what YOU want them to do in order to please YOU.
A person's past, background, or history should never be criticized. If you have an issue with how someone was raised, where they came from, their ideas, values, or beliefs, just don't get involved with them. Criticism and judgment is the result of a choice the offender made when deciding to begin a relationship, friendship, or even profession. Once the subject of what bothers them comes to light, it's their choice to remain in the situation. Before you comment or criticize someone else, remember, whatever you have to say about someone, there's someone saying the EXACT same things about you.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Nov 24, 2019
Getting right to the point, there are friendships from our past that no matter how long you go back with that person, the friendship has run its course and its time to let that shit go. Why? Because you're on different paths, one of you may be walking more on the straight and narrow than the other; lifestyle changes, differences in opinion, habits, or behavior. Perhaps you're living on different sides of the law. Whatever the case may be, you just know your long-time obligation to that person is the only thing keeping your friendship intact, even though you're fully aware of it's toxicity to your life. Trying to hold on to an old friendship can be mentally as well as physically dangerous or damaging to who you are as a person. Your reputation, your relationship, your career, freedom, even your life could be in jeopardy, trying to remain loyal to the wrong friend.
You could be no more than an innocent bystander, hanging out with the wrong friend at the wrong time when you're suddenly caught in the crossfire of a drive-by shooting because your best friend from "Back in the day" happens to be a drug dealer or gang member. They could owe someone money, and they chose to make YOU an example of what happens when debts aren't paid on time. Hanging out with the wrong person could cause others to view you in the worst light possible. If they're a player, you can bet your ass every woman who knows your friend or friends aren't shit; you ain't shit by association. The same goes for women; if the friends she keeps are known to be easy, drunk, party girls who give up the ass after just a few drinks, most men will think you're the same way.
Tom and Marcus have been friends since middle school; they were inseparable through high school, even played varsity basketball together. Tom went on to college on an athletic scholarship, earning a degree, while Marcus dropped out his Junior year of high school in pursuit of fast money. Thinking he's just misunderstood because of his circumstances, Tom tries to maintain his loyalty and friendship with Marcus, even though they've obviously chosen different paths. While on vacation, Tom and Marcus are heading home from a party when they're stopped by the police. Marcus is wanted for questioning about an armed robbery, and he has no intention of getting his third strike. He pulls out a gun and opens fire, resulting in the officers returning gunfire, killing both him and Tom. Perhaps a rival gang sees them together at some point and believes they're BOTH in the same gang and beats the shit out of Tom.
Whenever you saw Becky, Tracy wasn't too far behind. As they got older, Becky went on to pursue a professional career while Tracy sat content with working retail jobs and stuck to her party-girl ways. Eventually, Tracy found herself hooked on drugs or unable to care for her four children without assistance. Taking to the streets when she needs money, between her pimp and her drug habit, she ends up in a position where she owes someone money. One night while heading out, she asks Becky to swing by her boyfriend's house. Little does Becky know Tracy's man is also her pimp and a drug dealer who owes someone money. Walking in at the wrong time, he may not have the money he owes but has something just as good; Tracy. She's fucked guys before to get him out of debt, and this time's no different, except that THIS time, they want her AND Becky, who isn't into that lifestyle at all. Now Becky's in a situation where her life is in danger if she doesn't give in to what's expected of her. Maybe Tracy intentionally brought Becky with her to the drug dealer she owes money to, with the intent of trading her friend to wipe out her debt.
On a lighter note, A long-time friend would be critical and jealous of the other's evolution; they could've met a game-changing significant other. The realization they need to grow up and get their shit straight. The other may see this as abandonment and want their friendship to stay exactly the same and will get shit bent out of shape because they feel like they're being left behind. From grade school to their mid to late 20's, Jim and John played ball, hung out, ran the streets, chased women, partied, and drank like a fish every weekend. As they got older, Jimmy decided it was time to get right and get his shit together. John won't like that; he hasn't changed a bit since college. He wants Jimmy to stay the way they were and calls him out when he chooses to hang out with other people who share his new interests that don't include John.
Amanda's focus was to start her family early and got married or had kids earlier in life while her friends were still trying to figure out what they wanted. They were still partying and hanging out while she stays at home, playing the role of the faithful wife and mother. After her divorce, she found herself in her 40's, single, and her children are old enough where they have their own interests. Now it's HER time to go wild, but all of her friends have met people and are pursuing long-term relationships, but Amanda wants them to be single and wild with her, but they've already been through that phase and want nothing to do with it anymore.
Could both these situations be avoided? Absolutely. Especially when you know your friendship with someone from your past is not only counterproductive but dangerous. Does that make you a shitty friend? HELL NO! That makes you smart. Loyalty is one thing, but when it crosses the line into affecting your life in a negative way, it's time to dump that loyalty and look out for yourself and your safety. Your obligation may dictate your desire to help your friend get out of the situation they're in. Becky invites Tracy to move in with her to get clean and away from the lifestyle she's in. How many times should Becky allow Tracy to steal from her, run back to the streets, back to drugs, or call her at 3 am to pick her up from who knows where before throwing her hands up and walking away? How many times Does Tom have to go to court and defend Marcus, "Pro bono" for some stupid shit he's gotten arrested for?
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Nov 17, 2019
Why try to be something you're not? Why lie about who you are, what you do, have, or are all about? Why pretend to have ideas, beliefs, or values you've never given much thought to, just to make a good impression or fool someone into thinking something different about who you really are?
Are you ashamed of where you come from? Do you feel or see your true self in such a shitty light, you don't believe you're worthy? Is it a fear of rejection? Low self-esteem or self-worth? Do you dislike what you see in the mirror so much, you have to create an alter-ego you think people will like better than the REAL you? Are you truly aware of just how little you really have to offer? Why aren't you good enough the way you are?
Why try to fool your co-workers, even your boss? Who cares if you don't have the same education or experience as others? You already have the job; lying about that trip you never took to Japan won't get you fired, and it sure as hell wasn't the reason you were hired in the first place. Popularity in the office is important, and you'll do whatever you can to achieve it. You pretend to be something or someone you're not; you brag or embellish stories about your personal life, thinking it'll make people like you. The truth? No matter how much anyone at work may like you based on truth or lie, will sell you the fuck out at the speed of light to keep their job, so is it REALLY that important someone like that likes/accepts you?
We try to supplement who we are or trying to be with fake eyelashes, hairpieces, weaves & wigs. We dye our hair funky ass colors or to hide our gray. Push-up/Padded bras to give more cleavage or to make your boobs look bigger and more pleasing — fake butt pads, and fingernails. Men wear sleeves on their dicks or stuff a sock in their pants to make their package look bigger. We wear contacts to change our eye color, spray on orange paint to look tanned, and jewelry to make others think we're rolling in more money than we actually have. Let a pretty girl walk by, and a man will suck in his gut so hard, he risks shitting himself; as soon as she passes, he's panting like a dog on a hot summer day. Women wear body slimmers to avoid the appearance of a mattress wrapped in barbed wire. Shoe lifts and penis enlargement pumps?
What's the point? What's really the purpose of putting on all that fake shit, pretending to be someone you're not? Are you really THAT ridiculous in your thinking, or are you so delusional you seriously haven't given any thought to realizing the truth will come out eventually? We know your hair isn't blonde, your roots are showing after just two weeks; you can't wear a hairpiece 24/7. Sooner or later, all that makeup has to come off; the pits and wrinkles in your face will be discovered. Your belly will hang, your sagging boobs will be discovered, and so will that sock in your front pocket. Your cottage cheese and your bingo wings will come to light. Every imperfection you try to keep submerged will float to the surface. What will you do? What does that happen? Who will you really be pissed off at if the other person doesn't see you the same way and loses interest? Them, because you see them as shallow, or yourself because you got caught being deceptive?
Sooner or later, the time will come where your true self will arise, so why not just start out the gate being yourself? The truth is everything you do to mask who you are is nothing more than an open declaration. You're telling everyone you're trying to fool with all that fake shit exactly what you hate about yourself. If people are so easily willing to be fake on the outside, what makes you think they're not doing it on the inside? Lying about career, education, personality, ideas, and beliefs; how do you know you're not being told exactly what you want to hear until you're emotionally invested in that other person BEFORE you learn the truth? You don't; they're hoping by the time you find out they're not really who they've pretended to be, you'll be so into the relationship, the truth won't matter.
You're not a player; hell, you don't even play one on television. Why are you going out, playing the role, pretending to be smooth and savvy? Like you have so much game, you can handle a full stable of women, knowing you really just want someone to have your back. Your "Hey baby" act is just that, an act you put on so others will see you as being larger than life and make yourself feel superior. The truth is, you're looking for somebody to come home to; who wants to love you for who you are and happy to see you walk through the door. Do you REALLY want to be out in the streets every weekend, looking for something you may not even find, or would you rather know for a fact you have that, "Game-changer" at home, waiting for you? The reason you have all these different women is that each of them has 1 or 2 things to offer, and you're trying to turn or combine them all into just one person. That's what you really want; that one person who gives you everything you want and need.
You pretend to be something you're not because in some shape or form, you hate something about yourself, even if you don't realize it, or maybe you do and refuse to face or take steps to remedy it. Maybe it's something you can't fix, or it seems too hard or not worth the effort. Faking, it is far easier than dealing with your shortcomings.
Why are you acting like you're a bigger deal than you are? You stroll into work on Monday morning, bragging about all the men at the club or even in the office who just won't leave you alone? Why do you act the part, lie, and tell these men you're not looking for anything serious? Because you know if you tell them the truth about what you really want, they'll tuck ass and run! So what if they do? Are these the men you really want to get involved with? Trust me when I say your popularity in the workplace comes from men talking about you; they know if they take you out, you're fucking. Take a chance, and be yourself, be honest about what you want. Stop being a fuck hole and see how your popularity will plummet.
Why are you pretending to have all this money when you're working in retail, handling delivery packages, or waiting tables? Having a job and putting in an honest day's work is nothing to be ashamed of or dishonest about. Anyone who can't support or appreciate that shouldn't even be on your radar! Stop acting like a superheroine who doesn't need or want someone to make you feel like a woman. Go ahead, be the boss at work, but leave that shit at the office. Bring your ass home, and let your man be a man. You want to be the same hard-ass who's in control and handle your business like a dual set of katana blades. There's no reason or place for that type of shit in your relationship. You're at home; you don't need to play the tough-as-nails, don't take any shit attitude in your relationship. Home should be the one place you can take off the mask, hang your helmet and shield, and remove your armor.
Why aren't you good enough for others just the way you are? Can't you just be yourself? You're right, you're not good enough for anyone else, because you're not good enough for yourself yet. You strut around with fake confidence dripping from every pore like sweat, all the while, hoping no one sees how frightened you really are or see right through you. The scared, insecure, nervous inner child we try so hard to keep hidden.
Why the intense need for acceptance? Are we still in high school trying to fit in with the cool kids? Are we still chasing popularity? Are you still dreaming about making it with the head cheerleader? Are you getting asked out to prom by the captain of the basketball team? None of that shit is real, so who are you trying to fool? Who are you pretending to be, or are you broadcasting what you don't like about yourself and overcompensating? Is it your mid-life crisis sports car, $30,000 motorcycle? Your younger man/woman? Stop pretending to be someone you're not; sooner or later, your true nature WILL come out; do you really want to make yourself a liar from the start?
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Nov 10, 2019
People think a fuck is this evil, horrible crime only players and sluts commit. It's the antichrist of sex. Fucking is seen as the negative aspect of sex, the arch-enemy of sex and lovemaking. In the eyes of society, fucking is seen as the dark side of something physically and emotionally beautiful. The truth is, a fuck is just as important to a healthy sexual relationship as sex and lovemaking. A successful sex life depends on being able to take time for sex, making love, and dropping your pants or lifting your dress or skirt, and taking the dick like a warrior princess.
A fuck isn't or doesn't have to be this sinful deed to avoid at all costs. Can it be? Absolutely. However, there's a huge difference between fucking someone the same night you met or on the first date, not knowing if you'll ever hear from them again and the person you're in a relationship with. You're already having sex, so what's the big deal if you both want to take it to a more primal level?
Fucking your partner doesn't have to be the horrible act people make it out to be. Some people just don't have the time, opportunity, or availability for a long, drawn-out sex session or love-making. Does that mean you shouldn't do anything physical unless you can have 30 minutes to an hour to put into it, or would you rather take the 5-10 minutes you do have to slip into the bathroom or bedroom while the kids are watching T.V.? You woke up early and have some extra time in the morning before starting your day? Climb on top and ride the dick, or get on your hands and knees and take it hard and fast. Go to work with a smile on your face! People get so wrapped up in their everyday lives, and they don't take the time to stop and appreciate each other for being the sexual individuals you saw them for at earlier in your relationship.
Women will accept their friend for being the type who'll hook up with a guy she just met and relate that to how men think of her. These are the women who see fucking as something to avoid, but it's not the same at all, not in the least bit. For her friend, it's about sex, pure and simple. In a relationship, it can be part of a deeper connection she doesn't even realize because of the modern cultural view of primal sex. It's not an insult or a bad thing; knowing your partner still wants to fuck you can be seen as a HUGE compliment to you, as well as a boost to your ego and self-confidence.
Being open to primitive, physically goal-oriented sex is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter what age you are. Of course, younger people are more open to the idea and attraction to fucking because they're not in the same mind frame of wanting to settle down with one partner. Their need revolves around experimenting and experiencing as many partners as possible. As people get older, the desire and need for reassurance increase, especially with women. Men are so quick to want to trade his lady in for a younger model; she needs to feel wanted and viewed as sexually appealing. After a significant period of emotional neglect, women will seek this reassurance from outside sources. Not to imply infidelity, but rest assured, if her man isn't making her feel sexy, she'll find someone, ANYONE who will.
Stop letting others put such a mistaken and incorrect view of yourself, your man, or your sexual preferences or activities. That's YOUR business, and they belong to you. Don't allow others to put your dignity and self-respect on trial just because you're more comfortable with a wider, more sensual expression of your sexuality. Your attraction to fucking and being fucked isn't available for judgment or criticism without your permission. If you feel confident and satisfied with how you express your sexuality, you're better off than most, including the critics who pass judgment on you by calling you a slut or questioning your self-respect.
Not just meant for women; being open to fucking can also compliment her man's confidence, offering him reassurance and a boost to his self-image and confidence when she tells him how good he can still fuck her to orgasm. Let him know he can still drop the dick down like a hammer. For both of them, it gives them confidence that they satisfy each other and meets the other's need to feel sexually appealing. The craving and availability of primal sexual expression can decrease negative thoughts and suspicions. They have no reason to go anywhere else when they're getting what they need from each other. Everything you get from knowing your man still wants to fuck you like he just met you is the same way he wants to feel from you. Give it to him. He may act like he's too cool to admit it, but he wants and needs the same things from you.
A woman doesn't go out with her man and hopes he doesn't want to feel her up and be all over her, and if she does, they need to have a long discussion about needs and expectations. The same goes for a man. If he gets bent and turns down her sexual advances when/if other women are around, she needs to be asking some important questions about their relationship. A man goes out, wanting and hoping to find a woman who'll hook up with him and fuck him on the first night, but he doesn't approve of that mentality from his lady? There's something wrong with that. Men and women who'll want to fuck a stranger, but have issues being that way with their partner is a deeper situation than fucking.
Men will go out for the night and want to meet a woman who'll grind her ass on him, let him grab her ass as his life depended on it. He'll want to meet a woman who will let him down the front of her dress to feel how wet she is or up/down her top and inside her bra; he'll want her to go outside with him and suck his dick in the car or bend her over the hood and pound the fuck out of her, but he can't and won't do the same for his lady to make her feel sexy! He'll use the excuse that he respects her too much for things like that, no matter how much she may ask for it.
Some people just aren't built for traditional sex or lovemaking. Some people are more primal and expressive and choose to be more sexual away from the bedroom and behind closed doors. Not to imply these people are into the voyeur or swinger lifestyle; they're just not into the whole, "Let's go to the bedroom/get in bed" type of sex. Some couples are just more comfortable in varied environments and situations than people with a more "Traditional" sexual outlook. That doesn't make them, "Freaks," they're just comfortable with each other, and they have better sex away from the mattress.
Don't leave it up to the man to always or do the lion's share of initiating. Do you complain about the lack of sex in your relationship? That's partially YOUR fault! One of you wants more sex; the other wants to fuck more. If you want the dick, then get the dick. If he wants you to suck his dick in the parking lot after a night out of dinner and dancing, suck his dick. Why are you waiting for him? He wants to feel just as sexy and wanted as you do. His self-confidence and self-image will benefit just like yours. He needs the same satisfaction as you. Don't be such a prude that you can't or won't give in to your primal sexual instincts or desires.
A fuck is primal. It shows the raw, animalistic attraction a man has for a woman. It tells her she still turns him on, and he can't help wanting her in the worst fucking way possible. It can be an insult, but also one of the greatest unspoken sexual compliments a man can give. If all you're doing is fucking, that's something to bring up, but every now and then, your man wants to put that dick to you while you're mixing brownie batter or during a commercial break? Let him. Let that man come in the shower with you, bend you over and take that shit from behind. If it feels good, tell him; if not right then, shortly after. Let him know it makes you feel good that he still sees you like the sexy fucking jungle cat you were when you first met. Stop taking it as such a damn insult.
Primal sex a vital part of a healthy sexual relationship. It can build self-confidence and self-esteem. Knowing your man can't keep his hands off you and his dick out of you can strengthen the confidence in your fidelity; if you're open to seeing it, his attraction to fucking you can be a hell of a sign or message to you, saying he has no need or reason to go looking for anything he may be missing at home. Stop making it such a bad thing or something to cringe at or shy away.
It's not the insult you think it is. You're friends tell you he's treating you like a slut. If they're not telling you to your face, they're saying it behind your back. So what? Does the dick feel good? Is he tearing into you like an apex predator? Does he still make love to you? Then your friends are probably just jealous or pissed because you're getting something they're not or they've never had it, so their initial reaction is one of condemnation. If it makes you confident that he's not out, getting what you're not giving because you're letting your friends dictate what's good for your relationship, then who gives a fuck what they think? Just stop telling them about it. Women normally don't want to hear how great their friends' sex life, especially if theirs is in the shithole.
When you were going out for the night, why is it such a negative thing if your man wants you to show off your body for him? Why wouldn't you want your man to be proud of how you look? Does it really make sense to be offended if he's so proud to be seen with you that he wants to show you off?
You spend all that time, effort, and hard work at the gym just to cover it up when your man thinks your fucking sexy as hell? What woman gets dressed for a night out, hoping her man doesn't think she's the sexiest fucking thing in the room? Why wouldn't you want him all over you? Why wouldn't you want his hands all over your body? Because you're more concerned about what some stranger thinks of you and your morals over what your man thinks? "Get a room,"? How about turning your fucking head in the other direction if it bothers you to see a man feeling up his woman?
Stop making fucking such a bad thing; it's not the insult to your sex life you think it is or allow yourself to feel. Fucking and getting fucked can be just as romantic as lovemaking, depending on the connection between those involved. A couple can begin making love and end up fucking or vice-versa. Granted, there are men out there who are all about just getting the pussy and being on his way, but there are also people who know the difference between making love, having sex, and a fuck. The key to a long-lasting, successful relationship is not only knowing the difference but the time and place for all three.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Nov 3, 2019
Protecting our children from harm is an instinct permanently engraved into our subconscious mind. There have been cases where 100 lb., women have lifted cars off children they didn't even know. A parent's protective nature is unparalleled and unrivaled. So why are so many children being injured or killed by avoidable situations? Every time we turn on the television or the news, there's another story about a parent losing a child over something that should've never happened if their parents had been paying attention to where that child was or what they were doing.
I could give a damn how busy your day is; people can't even leave their home for 20 minutes without their cell phone, so how the fuck can they forget their child's locked in the car for hours at a time? Call me an ass, but I can't really be convinced that's always an accident. What defense can be used to justify leaving or forgetting a child in a car? The media suggests leaving your phone in your back seat with your purse or something else IMPORTANT, so you'll remember your child's in the car. WHAT THE FUCK? That should be the other way around. You expose your child not only to secondhand smoke but with the increase in the use of medical Marijuana, you're also exposing them to contact highs and possible prolonged exposure and addiction as they get older. Why the fuck would anyone think smoking weed in the car with a small child makes sense? It doesn't make sense; it makes you a shitbag of a parent.
You just bought a brand new car. The latest model with all the options adds on aftermarket wheels, rims, stereo system TV/DVD player and screens in the dash and headrests and new speakers, and no fucking child seat. Whether you see it as an unnecessary waste of money, or you're broke after all that other bullshit you just bought for you car, you'll let your wife, girlfriend or one of your older children sit in the passenger seat, holding your 6-month old son or daughter in their lap. That one time you have to slam on your brakes, and your child's face just slammed into the dash board, or you get into an accident, and the air bag caved their face in from the pressure. Buying rims and a stereo's worth more than your child's' safety!
After church on Sunday, it's always nice to go out and have a late lunch or dinner during the week. You pile the wife and kids in the car and head to the local chain restaurant for a meal, and you can still watch the game. While waiting for your order, you and your partner have a beer or two and possibly another while eating. With 2 or 3 beers apiece in your system and legally over the limit, you pile everyone back in the car and drive home. Is having that beer really that essential to your meal? If you get stopped and the cop's in a good mood and doesn't want to arrest you in front of your family, neither one of you is legally able to drive. Worst-case scenario, how do you explain the accident you caused because you were more, "Buzzed" than you thought you were? How can you look at your wife or husband at the funeral of one of your children who lost their life because mom and dad wanted to have a beer or 2 with their dinner then drive home?
A busy parking lot is not the place to let your toddler practice walking on their own. Pick that little fucker up and carry them before they stumble out in front of a car, or while they're stumbling out in front of you, a car hits your kid while backing out of a parking space! Teach your child not to run out in front of the school bus when they get off. True, the law requires motorists to stop and wait until the bus starts moving again, but how many of us have seen people ignore that and speed by the bus anyway? They're busy texting, putting on makeup, or something else occupying their attention. Don't rely on everyone following the law, take some fucking responsibility, and teach your children; there's nothing wrong with doubling up on the safety. Teach your children not to play in the driveway, right behind your car. Before you get in and pull out, take a quick 360-degree check to make sure there's nothing or no one behind your car. it takes less than 30 seconds. The apartment complex parking lot is not a playground or suitable for bike riding or skateboarding.
If you can afford a pool, you can afford a pool fence. There's no reason to have so many pool drownings every year. If they're swimming or playing in the pool, your eyes should be on that child, not watching online videos, social media, or any of that other shit that takes your attention away. "I only looked away for a second!" Stop lying; it was longer than that! That's a lack of paying attention to where your child is and what they're doing. If you're a child's in the tub, your priority is that fucking bath tub. Fuck the ringing phone. Fuck the doorbell. Fuck whoever's trying to talk to you. Fuck everything that's trying to pull you away from that child in that tub; all that shit can wait.
It's not the fault or responsibility of a chemical company to change or make products that aren't visually appealing to small children; it's YOUR responsibility to keep an eye on your child, so they don't eat a toilet cake or drink drain cleaner. You sound like a fucking idiot, trying to sue a multi-billion dollar company to change how a product looks, so children won't think they're sweets and try to eat them. Buying a 72" television for your, "Mancave" but you don't have a crib or safety bed for your baby? You have no one to blame but yourself for having such fucked up priorities when you roll over during the night on top of your baby who's sleeping between you and your partner because buying a crib seemed like an expensive and unnecessary purchase.
Slips, trips, and falls are a part of being a child, but I can't see how a 3-4-year-old can break their arm or leg, "Accidently." Again, a parent has to be pretty absent-minded and not paying attention to something that serious to occur to a child that young. The same goes for plastic bag suffocation; how the fuck can that NOT be seen as avoidable? Stove and heater burns and electric shocks. Your child just stuck something in a light socket. Do you have any idea how hard it actually is to get a shock from a wall outlet? A parent has to seriously not be paying attention or keeping tabs on their child for that to happen.
Teach your children wrestling is fake, and doing that shit with their younger brother and sister is dangerous and can really hurt them. Teach your children about gun safety ASAP! Don't assume they're too young to understand. If they can grab your phone and get to the online videos by themselves, work the video game system, DVD/Blue-Ray player, etc. they're old enough to be taught that real-life guns aren't like the guns in those video games.
You let your child leave the house and walk around in public with a toy gun that looks real enough to initiate a possible deadly reaction from the wrong person. You don't know if the person they just jumped out and pointed that gun at is an off-duty officer or combat veteran. Use some fucking discretion and common sense with that shit! Teach them if they come across a gun, point it at someone, and pull the trigger; they won't restart from the last save point or the beginning of the level. Take them out and let them fire a round or 2 to give them an idea of the damage that can be done. Teach them not to mess with a gun in the first place; don't assume your hiding place is 100% secure.
Children aren't paying attention; that's more your job than theirs or anyone else'. Their eyes are the glue to that fucking phone or tablet, watching whatever. They run into anything and everything; even worse, they're not paying attention, and neither are you. While they're lagging behind you, watching that movie or cartoon, you have no idea who's around, looking for just that type of scenario to take advantage of and snatch your fucking child. You'll take your children to the store, right to the toy department, and tell them to stay there while you shop. What the fuck is wrong with you? Predators scope out the toy and electronics department for lone children playing video games. Blame yourself when they find your child three months later in a shallow grave because you didn't want to deal with them while you shop.
You let your kids run around like idiots, screaming, running into people, knocking things over, and acting like they have no fucking sense. It's all fun and games until they slip, fall, or slide into something, splitting their head open. Then you want to sue someone. Your kids are overweight because you feed them to keep them out of your hair, or you let THEM tell YOU what you'll feed them. You're too busy or tired to take them to the park to play and burn calories. Watching the game on Sunday is more important. You expose your children to all types of health issues by not instilling healthy eating habits when they're young.
You allow your children to complete and unsupervised access to the internet. "Respecting their privacy" means more to you than protecting them from online predators. As long as they're quiet and not bothering you, you don't concern yourself with who they may be talking to or texting, which they send nude photos to or receiving them from. You don't know they're possibly planning to meet someone they think is their age, but turns out to be a more sinister situation than their young mind can comprehend.
Don't blame the child. Don't blame society: the internet, their friends, or the people of the world who mean to do your children harm. Blame yourself. YOU are the first line of defense when it comes to the safety and protection of your children, not matter what age they are. That's your profession; your #1 job. Are you a temporary employee, a part-timer, or career-driven? Your goal should be nothing less than the company CEO.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Oct 27, 2019
"The wingman." That one person you can count on to take one for the team. The wingman is an essential addition to any group, whether male or female-dominated. The wingman can come as both a female within a group of men or a man within a group of women. Sexual orientation or gender preference of the wingman means absolutely nothing when it comes to their social function.
A wingman is someone who provides support when approaching or interacting with a potential sexual or romantic partner. A wingman will also help the friend avoid attention from undesirables or to attract desireable candidates.
What is the purpose of the wingman?
1. To provide high-altitude cover for the friend who wants to make a move on someone who caught their attention. Also, to keep the friend aware of their surroundings in case of opposition.
2. Reconnaissance when noticing an opposite-sex couple, unsure if they are just friends or an actual romantic couple. If one notices things, the friend might not be aware of, in the case of being checked out by someone they may not be aware of.
3. As a barrier to prevent the lonely friend from wanting to leave too early because no one's paying attention to them, forcing the more popular, attractive friend from going with her.
The difference between the wingman and the matchmaker is that the matchmaker's motives are more geared towards the friend's emotional match; they're looking for someone who they believe is a good match in reference to a dating or relationship situation. The matchmaker has taken time to evaluate more than one person and choose a suitable match for their friend. The wingman's job is to assist the lead's goal of reserving and securing an impulsive physical match, based on the present pool of available candidates.
What are the key responsibilities of the wingman? To back up the pilot, the lead aircraft, not to take the lead. Their job is to do whatever they can to help the lead plane accomplish their mission, no matter how much more skilled or qualified they may be. The mission, or object of attraction may appeal to the wingman, but his duty and obligation are to the lead pilot. The wingman must keep his communication to a minimum when it comes to the main mission; they've had their briefing, and their part of the mission is understood. The wingman responds to the lead plane. The wingman's job is to occupy or destroy the mission's defenses while the lead plane goes in for the strike.
The wingman doesn't cause problems for the lead pilot or jeopardizes the mission. They stay information; they don't run off or become a burden. They don't get drunk, fight, or try to hook up with the lead's interest. They don't abandon their position in the formation or cockblock for their own gain, nor do they disobey orders and go off on their own to take the lead. The wingman is expected to play his part; no more and no less. Safety and awareness is another responsibility of the wingman. Keeping the lead out of trouble or to advise them to prevent a mistake, dealing with emergencies, or avoid crashing into the side of a mountain. The wingman keeps the lead on target and focused on the mission at hand. They're the second set of eyes for the lead, watching out for bandits that may enter their flight path and disrupt the mission.
Whether the same or opposite sex-driven, the wingman's job is to do whatever he can to ensure the success of the lead's mission. A male wingman will talk his male friend up to make him appear to be the best choice. He occupies the time of her friend to keep the mission right where she is, so they don't leave before getting her phone number or trying to get her to hook up for the night. A female wingman will approach another woman who may be with a man to inquire about their status, without causing friction or any type of confrontation in case they are a couple. A woman will run interference or cause a diversion to allow her girlfriend to avoid unwanted attention or interaction from an undesirable.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Oct 20, 2019
Believe it or not, everything's not about you. SURPRISE!!
What you do or say that you may think or see as no big deal may actually be an extinction-level cataclysmic event for someone else. Just because something doesn't bother you doesn't mean it doesn't, wouldn't, or won't affect someone else on a deeper level.
The worst thing to do is make light of someone else's concern or their feelings about a situation. What's even worse is when the offender uses shady fucking apologies or back-ass statements to blame the offended, instead of taking responsibility and just admitting what they said might have been taken as being fucked up.
Seeing things as no big deal is selfish. You're so wrapped up in yourself that the possibility of what you did or said could've been just plain old fucked up. You may not agree with it, but your friends or partner was bothered by it, and they respected you enough to approach you and bring it to your attention. You owe it to them to listen, see things from their point of view, and even if you still don't agree after they've made their feelings clear, they deserve the same respect they brought to you. Don't be an asshole and accuse them of being too sensitive. Don't ask your woman if she's on her fucking period. Don't question your man's masculinity; just listen and take what they've said to mind and try to see things from their point of view. Remember, everything's NOT ABOUT YOU!
If you reach down and finger yourself while you're riding your man; unless you know 1000% that turns him on, that's a fucked-up thing to do. You're telling him he's not taking care of business, and you have to do it yourself. You may not agree with it, or see it that way, but, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! You can seriously fuck up a man's self-confidence with that shit. That's no different than if he'd rather watch porn and masturbate instead of having you giving him head. Your head would be so fucked up unless you're one of those obsolete VCR-era women who think sucking dick is demeaning and you'd rather he does it, so you don't have to.
Just because a man enjoys going to the strip club every weekend and he sees nothing wrong with watching other women get naked for his (And your) money, he'll think it's no big deal and say she's jealous for no reason. A man needs pills to get an erection to have sex with his wife or girlfriend but has no issues getting hard for porn. When women discuss their lack of sex or relationship issues with their girlfriends, he wants anal sex, and he'll make her feel like shit for not being into it. When your partner brings these issues to your attention, shut the fuck up and listen; don't just pacify them by sitting there, waiting for them to finish talking so you can get back to watching the game. Pay attention to what they're saying, instead of planning your defense or what you're going to say to insult them for how they feel. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!
Who cares if Mike an Laurie are swingers? You're not Mike, and she's not Laurie. She doesn't want other people in your bed. She doesn't like her hair pulled. He doesn't like it when you pinch and twist his nipples. You think it's cute to rub his belly in front of your friends and call him, "Cute/chubby" names. Every time he asks you not to do that, you do it right then and there, giggle about it. You'll call him, "Too sensitive" Let's see if you feel the same way the day he gets pissed, jiggles your belly in front of your girlfriends, and asks where you keep the peanut butter for all that jelly.
She doesn't swallow. You know she doesn't, so you think it's fucking funny not to warn her and shoot your load in her mouth. Or you say some shit like, "If you really loved me, you'd do it." Making comments about how it's no big deal, and she should be glad to do it because there's plenty of women out there who would. We'll get one asshole; IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! Men will get shitty when their woman doesn't even discuss the possibility of a threesome. Hell, they can't even satisfy one woman, let alone 2. On the flip side, she may be intrigued by the thought of bringing another woman in the mix. What a man doesn't realize is when/if a woman brings that option to fruition, IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM! His pleasure or benefit from the situation is most likely going to purely visual. The truth is most times when a woman brings another woman into her bed; it's about HER and that other woman; assuming you're going to do participate makes you an idiot.
Have respect for each other. If your woman spends 2 hours getting ready for a romantic, sensual night of dinner and dancing, Leave the "Gangster gear" at home. Put on a nice shirt and pants, and pull them up to where supposed to be. Take your fucking sunglasses off. Leave your phone on silent and enjoy being with each other. Turn it around; step out of the soccer-mom side of the closet and put on that tight, black dress that shows off your curves and cleavage. When your partner comes at you and asks you to dress up once in a while, you OWE it to them. "Keeping it real," or, "I want to be comfortable" is fine, but it's not always about you, it's about respecting and representing your partner to the best of your ability. Yes, they love you but don't embarrass them or yourself by walking into an upscale restaurant, wearing skinny jeans or accompanying your man to his corporate Christmas party, and being the only woman wearing flats, slacks, and a tucked-in polo shirt, instead of a fancy dress and heels.
She can never ask a hypothetical question without his thinking she's talking about him/them. He can't even mention the thought of getting a gym membership for both of them. She can't initiate or ask for a change in their sex life because he'll assume he's doing good enough, so why change what works. If he tries out a new position, she'll wonder where the Mississippi fuck he got that idea from. (Probably from another bitch!)
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! Sometimes, an explanation or elaboration isn't necessary. Sometimes, just an apology or acknowledgment that you heard the other person when they tell you they were bothered by something that was said or done. Where it gets fucked up is when the offender tries to shift this action from them to insult the offended. Just shut the fuck up and listen. Keep your dumb fucking fake-ass apologies to yourself.
- I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY - Translation: I'm sorry you're a powder-fresh freak who can't take a joke. I'll try to handle your fragile ass with kid gloves form now on.
- I APOLOGIZE IF YOU TOOK IT THAT WAY - Translation: You misunderstood me when I said you couldn't get on top anymore because it feels like you gain 30 pounds.
- I SAID, BUT I MEANT - Translation: I said your fat rolls smell like bacon grease, but I meant let's take a sexy shower together and make love.
- YOU'RE NOT FAIR - Translation: Sarah swallows for Dave, you should do the same for me. Are you telling me You don't love me as much as She loves him?
- YOU'RE TOO SENSITIVE - Translation: I said or did something fucked up, and I'm not going to admit it was fucked up, so I'm just going to blame you for taking it fucked up.
- I'M SORRY YOU MISUNDERSTOOD - Translation: You may have a PhD. in language arts from a well-respected Ivy League school, but for some reason, you took me the wrong way when I said your breath smells like you've been eating ground ass-burgers.
- YOU PUT WAY TOO MUCH THOUGHT INTO THAT - Translation: Damn, you WERE listening to me!
- I DIDN'T MEAN IT THE WAY YOU TOOK IT. Translation: I meant it EXACTLY the way you took it; I was just hoping you wouldn't take it the way I said it.
- YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW WHAT I MEAN - Translation: I can't speak intelligently. My vocabulary is fucking limited.
- YOU'RE DRAMATIC - Translation: You're a fucking crybaby. Do I need to powder your ass before I change your diaper, or can you do it by yourself?
- IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL - Translation: IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!
- YOU HAVE A LOT OF HANGUPS - Translation: Are you REALLY going to call me out on ALL the fucked shit I say or do? Are you trying to make me a better person or something?
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! You'll sit down with someone to tell them you've just been diagnosed with a heart condition, and they'll manage to turn into a 20-minute conversation about the new leather couch they just bought. They'll tune out any part of a conversation that doesn't interest or involve them. Women will complain to their men about their lack of communication, but what she REALLY wants is for him to say as little as possible to facilitate her talking about herself for as long as fucking possible.
Men tend to be more dismissive and selfish when it comes to sharing the spotlight. They want a full-time cheerleader but will offer part-time hours when it comes to reciprocation. Men take constructive criticism or direction far more personally. Any attempt to deviate from their normal sexual routine will be met with defiance and resistance, unless it's spun to where it's made to be HIS idea, instead of hers, much almost everything else. When in conversation or disagreement, just because you've said what you wanted to say doesn't mean the conversation has ended. It's fucked up for you walk away, leaving the other person unable to make their point or respond, just because you're not going to like what they have to say.
Don't be an ass, if you don't know at least one person who behaves like everything's about them, then take a look in the mirror, because YOU'RE THAT PERSON. Share the conversation, the spotlight. Not every suggestion or idea of improvement is a direct insult or criticism to you, your beliefs, habits, or personality. Not many people put effort into staging a carefully planned amphibious assault on your manhood or sexual performance, just because your partner wants to try a new position or doesn't feel comfortable doing something you want. Don't be a dick and point out the fact that none of your ex's had an issue with doing it. Don't be shitty to your man when tells you he doesn't like it when you talk to your male best friend about your relationship problems. These are your friends, your family, your partner, and they deserve to be heard, respected, and their feelings deserve your full consideration. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Oct 13, 2019
Revisiting the concept of Biomechanics vs. Biochemistry, we have to look at how men are more obvious and less concerned about being caught or noticed when checking out a woman. Don't for one second think or believe women don't check men out just as much; they're just better, faster, and more discreet about it. Men and women check each other out equally, but differently and for different reasons altogether. Men are definitely more obvious, hoping to catch her attention. To him, that's his first signal that he may be interested. Women check men out more for admiration purposes, but it can also be a signal to him as well.
A woman may be too shy or believe a man should make the first move, but she'll make it known she wants him to make that first move, based on the way she looks at him and her body language. On the other hand, she can also use the exact same tactics to let him know he has absolutely no chance, so he shouldn't waste his time. It's not that she's rude; she' actually doing you a favor by keeping you from looking or feeling humiliated when she turns you down when you approach her.
We all know the first things men check out are an ass, boobs, legs, then her face. Men check out women and decide his sexual attraction to her before much of anything else. Women work in reverse. She'll check out how good-looking he is, then his body, physique, his butt, and then she'll do the little-known, but regularly performed, "Crotch check." Most men are unaware that women do this because they're so quick about it; plus, they know men are too preoccupied staring at their chest or mouth to even notice. Some men aren't in the least bit worried or bothered if a woman even notices him looking down her top or dress while talking to her; for some reason, they actually believe it's a compliment. They really don't care if they get caught; some are even creepy as hell about it. Women normally don't want or choose to be so obvious, even if she's interested. Women check out a man's other areas on purpose, but the crotch check is most likely subconscious.
It's highly unlikely she can actually see anything unless he's wearing sweats or shorts. Or maybe he's hanging out the bottom of his shorts at the gym. But they still look for whatever reason. It's not for sexual reasons either; a woman checks out a man to gauge his personal and possible emotional compatibility. She'll make a pre-judgment on his personality based on his looks, which will spark her interest in approaching him or giving him a chance if he happens to approach her.
Men check out women for physical attraction; they check out her body first, then her face. Her personality runs farther down the line of importance than they want to admit or realize. As long as she's hot enough to get high-fives from his friends or sex for the night, his standards in her looks will diminish as the evening does on; by the end of the night, as long as she's decent enough to fuck, he's fine with that. Sex or winning the attention and interest in the hottest woman in the room is his main focus. For women, it's in reverse; she'll check a man out in an attempt to gauge his personality, what type of man he is, and if he appears worthy of an opportunity to get to know her or to put any interest in him. Men base sexual chemistry on looks; women will base attraction and mental/emotional chemistry. She'll believe she can tell if he's a good guy by the way he looks and interacts with the rest of the room. If he's on the hunt as soon as he walks in the door, she'll dismiss him. If he seems to be out to unwind or enjoy his evening, she'll be more intrigued to observe him for a while longer.
Men will see/check out a woman and go for her ASAP; he knows at least 30%-60% of all the other men in the room are also checking her out, planning their opening move. It becomes a race or extreme obstacle course-type event to get to her before anyone else. Women are more patient and far more observant of how he behaves and reacts to any other woman who does approach him. Even if by chance, he shows interest in someone else, how he interacts with her will not affect her interest in him, as long as it still seems like a "Good guy." A woman will observe and take her time approaching him or giving him a signal of interest.
Sometimes men and women can and will check each other out and not even realize it. It's like a force of habit or subconscious action. Imagine being at the grocery store, and a man buys condoms. If the cashier's a female, she'll sneak a glance at his package, just because he's buying large-sized condoms. If he's male and the customer's a female, buying a bra with large cup size, he'll instinctively check out her tits. It's not sexual; it's just something that happens. Where people get their heads fucked up is when they mistake a friendly glance, a crotch check, or a simple, "Good morning" as something more than it is. A look or greeting doesn't automatically translate to a signal of interest; a greeting or a smile could be just that, and nothing more. Men, much more than women, will take such a simple gesture and turn it into something ridiculous and WAY off-key.
Being patient and taking things as how they are can and will sometimes be a wakeup call for both men and women. They may realize they're attracted to something they never gave much thought to until that moment. They may have been exclusive to dating or showing interest in one particular race or ethnic group, but the right person could walk through the door and catch their eye. Size, body shape, height, weight, etc. Especially as people get older, they may have been burned over and over again by the same types of people for so long. After a while, they've started to notice and find themselves attracted to something totally outside their normal realm, especially as they get older and more mature.
People will make slight changes to what they're attracted to as they get older. Reality will set in, and the things that were important to us when we were younger will seem not only out of reach but downright silly and no longer reasonable. A middle-aged older woman will still check out younger men, but for the most part, she knows a 25-year-old man isn't interested in a serious relationship with a 50-year-old woman unless it's for sex or money. Men will check out a much younger woman and honestly believe she's flattered by his creepy looks. He'll be convinced she wants nothing more than to be his woman.
Reality sets in for women much faster than men; they recognize their boundaries and capabilities far sooner. They'll adjust their expectations, interests, and approaches to fit each man they check out or interact with. Men are too entitled to think they may be the reason why they aren't getting the attention they feel they deserve.
How we check each other out is actually funny if we pay attention to it. For women, it's a process of elimination to where they sit back and allow men to eliminate themselves by their own actions. For men, it's a race against time, age, opportunity, luck, and every other swinging dick in the room.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Sept 29, 2019
Tradition versus independence. This is a recipe that can only end in chaos. Not necessarily right from the beginning, but the warm flow of tradition will eventually meet the cooler, spiraling flow of independence, and that's how tornadoes are formed — one of the natures' most damaging and devastating disasters.
The down and dirty truth; women, want a traditional man when it benefits her agenda. She wants him to drive, pay, and even give chase or pursue her and earn her trust and opportunity to get to know her before she even lifts a finger to return the effort. She thinks she deserves and will even demand he proves himself and his interest before she shows hers. A traditional man will temporarily support the independent nature while they get to know each other. After a while, he'll become more and more confused by the contradictions between her words and her actions/expectations. The mix of personalities may work for a short time and even graduate into a relationship, but rest assured, its course will run out very shorty.
The independent woman will see his expectations as a way to control her and rob her of her identity and individuality. She'll accuse him of trying to change her into some back in the day house slave. She'll accuse him of wanting her, "Barefoot and pregnant" and totally dependent on him, even though he hasn't given her the slightest idea to think that way. A woman will fail to see his point of view or even consider meeting him halfway. A traditional man will get frustrated because the independent woman is unable or unwilling to take on a more submissive role in their relationship. He'll see her independence as disrespect and a direct attack to his masculinity. His traditional nature will cause him to insult her femininity and send him looking for someone on the side who'll satisfy his need to be the undisputed king of the castle.
Women will want a man to support and encourage her independence without question with one hand and with the other, criticize his lack of chivalry if he looks to her to be all in with her independence. On a 1st date, she'll expect him to drive and ay, but won't give it a second thought if he disn't open her door, pull out her chair, or wait until she has her food before he begins to eat. A man will pretend to support and be in favor of her claims of independence, but will internally grow more and more impatient and irritated by her unwillingness to adapt a more traditonal female role. Her, "Alpha female" mentaloty will annoy the fuck out of him and eventually send him looking in other places for someone more campatible to his preferences.
She'll claim he doesn't respect her; he'll say she's close-minded. She'll tell hime it's not the 1950's anymore. He'll tell her she'll never find a man because she's already the best man she'll ever meet. She'll call him a control freak and a bully; he'll accuse her of being hung up on how her ex treated her. She'll say he's afraid of or can't hand;e a strong woman; he'll tell her she doesn't konw what it means to be a lady. He'll want her to dress sexy; she'll see it as him wanting her to be seen as slutty. She'll ask him to hold her purse while she ties her shoe. He'll say no, but tie her shoe for her. He won't let her take the lead and pull him through a crowd or take the lead if they're dancing.
There's nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out on a date, but she won't. She think it's a man's place is to make the first move; to show his interest, and to earn her time. She'll ask him for HIS number, but will refuse to be the first to call. If he doesn't after a few days, she'll dismiss and delete him. Being traditional, a man will take the initiative and make the first call. He'll make a normal effort to show his interest, but will get frustrated by her entitlement. Her constant reminders of her independence, coupled with her daily expectation of having to earn her time or conversation, will annoy him, and he'll make her a side chick while he finds someone else.
He has an issue with her independence. She has an issue with his expectations. The mere mention fo the word,"Submissive" will send her into a whirlwind,, about equal rights and how she's no man's slave or how she won't be controlled by ANY man. Her preaching about how she doesn't need a man for shit will be met with him using her independence as a shield. He'll, "Leave his wallet at home" and look for her to pay when they go out. He'll stop calling her all the time, and soon after, the relationship will fade to black. Because of their differences, they'll turn everything into an ERA debate. He'll see it his role to grill the steaks and her role to make the salad or sides. She'll feel like he trying to put her in her place. If she grills, he'll refuse to make the salad if he feels she's challenging him.
Sex will be their downfall. They won't see eye to eye on expectations or boundaries. He'll want her to be more adventurous, bt she'll take it as him being disrespectful or trying to treat her like a whore or slut. She may be the more aggressive one and she he'll take it as emasculating, stepping out of plce, or a seige for powere in the relationship. She may use sex as a form of manipulation and he'll get bored because she refuses to try anything new.
She'll use sex not as a punishment, but as a reward for good behavior; He'll get frustrated and find someone sexually submissive. She'll find a guy with absolutely nothing going for him except for good sex and she'll treat him like shit, because she knows he won't stand up for himself if fear of losing his meal ticket. When the traditional man gets his first taste of a submissive partner, he'll turn 180 degrees and his sexual Pandora's box will open and unleash all his supressed sexual fantasies on her. He'll bring that new mentality to the independent woman and fuck her every which way from Sunday, breaking her independence like a wild horse. Some women will make their own 180 degree turn, but by then, it'll be too late for her; his submissive will become his main girl, and the independent woman will become his side piece.
Other than his own children, The traditional man will keep his values and ideas to himself. He'll train his son to be traditional and his daughter to demand respect, but to maintain a more feminine role. Women will not only preach independence to her family and friends, she'll do the samem to her co-workers. Especially if she's giving advice to anyone having relationship issues. She'll go so far as to preach empowerment at work, in her social groups, even to strangers who may not even have asked or wanted to hear what she had to say. The traditional man will allow other men to be who they are. Even though they may comment on his behavior under his breath or to his friends
Independence versus tradition. Who's right? Who's wrong? Is there room for compromise? Nope, not even an inch. There's not point in even getting involved with this situation. It's waste of time and energy. Its only reward may be good sex for a while, but anything other than that is a powder keg, just waiting for the fuse to light.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Sept 22, 2019
You sound stupid when you talk shit about your ex after breaking up. Hell, it doesn't even have to be an ex; it could be the end of a friendship. You sound especially stupid when you're criticizing something you gave credit for when you were together. The only reason you're doing it now is that you're angry, hurt, or humiliated. You're not fooling anyone; you're just hung up on what happened that caused the end of the friendship or relationship; or you're the guilty party, trying to deflect the fact that YOU fucked up and now everyone knows you fucked up.
You sound like a moron when you're talking shit about someone and how they were when you were together. When things were good, you couldn't stop praising their behaviors or quirks; now that you're not, the same things you gave them credit for is now a reason you couldn't stand them. Men will enjoy every single freak nasty thing his woman did and would do for him; all he had to do was ask. Some of that shit she did on her own, knowing it made him feel like a king as well as satisfied her fantasies. After breaking up, he'll insult her, calling her a nasty bitch or a slut. She wasn't a slut when you were together, so why now? Because all that, "Good-good" freak nasty shit she did for you, she's doing it for another man; possibly one who appreciates her WAY more than what you did.
There's an old saying," Don't get pissed when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. You didn't appreciate what you had when you had it, and now someone else does. That's why you felt the need to yell out, "I taught that slut everything she knows!" I doubt it because you're the one talking shit, not her.
To praise someone for trying their best when you're together, then to turn around and chastize them after the end makes you an asshole; plain and simple. Tracy always thought Mike's stance on being non-violent and walking away from a physical confrontation was mature and admirable when they were together. She praised him for walking away even if provoked. Now that they're not together he's was always a "Little bitch" who wouldn't or couldn't stand up for himself.
A woman will tell her man he doesn't need to work out because she likes him, "Fluffy. After their break up, she'll call him lazy and complain that all he did was sit in front of the TV or play video games. She'll use that to justify why she left him for someone more fit. A man will tell his woman he thinks she's beautiful and still just as sexy as when they first met, even after the 30-pounds weight gain. But will call her "Fat" after the breakup. People will harp and complain about not wanting to go out; instead, staying in and enjoy being with each other, but after the breakup, she'll bitch that he never took her anywhere or he's going out every weekend, now that he's, "Single and looking to mingle."
People will take the exact same things they admired about someone, and at the drop of a hat, use it as a crutch to talk shit about after a falling out, even in friendships. Jane's always the life of the party; everywhere she goes, guys are hitting or her; she can party like no one's business, and drink like a fish. After Becky finds out her boyfriend has a thing for Jane, Becky will talk so much shit about how much of a slut Jane is; and rest assured, sooner or later it's going to get back to Jane. Jimmy prefers having a healthy savings account, living moderately in case of a rainy day. His choice to not indulge in impulse shopping and habit of saving instead of spending was something Amanda found impressive in a man his age and high-income level. After the breakup, her first complaint was that he never had any fun or bought her anything.
People act this way to rationalize the end of a friendship or relationship. They place blame or fault with the other person, instead of taking responsibility for what THEY may have done to cause the split. It's a deflection tactic; a way to make themselves appear to be an innocent victim. Why do people feel the need to make excuses or bad mouth someone because things didn't work out? Pride. Pride because your relationship failed. Fear of being humiliated because you were the cause of the split and you don't want to face it. Anger because you couldn't talk your way out of it. Revenge because you got hurt or you made yourself look stupid. The funny thing is no matter how much shit you talk about the other person, all you're doing is shortening the chances of reconciliation. If all you have left to say about someone is stupid shit, think about how stupid you sound when you're talking shit.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
Sept 2, 2019
Knowing and understanding the difference between "Soul food" and, "Slave food" has been a subject of debate and controversy for as long as I can remember. Slave food refers to what slaves had to live on in order to survive; after the slave owners were fed, the scraps of food that were left, thrown away, or the parts of the animal that were picked over. Soul food refers to food prepared in grease, lard, and animal fat. The slave owner kept healthier, more nutritional foods for themselves, making it impossible for slaves to eat healthily. What most people don't realize or want to admit is that the slaves prepared the food for the owners and even though they ate what was considered healthier food, it was still prepared as, "Soul food." It was deep-fried, saturated in animal fat, extremely high in cholesterol, and so on.
Pig's feet. Pig ears. "Chitlins." These foods and style of cooking and eating were born from necessity and survival, not historical significance or tradition. For those who make it an issue of race, slaves were NOT exclusive to blacks, but anyone of any race or ethnicity who was viewed as being owned or indentured to or by another human being. If you were a slave, you were treated, and you ate as a slave, no matter your skin color.
With the availability of the same types of food and nutritional options our ancestors were denied, why do we continue to consume so much of the same hazardous shit they were forced to eat out of survival? Tradition? Heritage? Why do we criticize those people who realize this food and the way it's prepared is killing us, slowly but surely?
Black people believe we're destined to be overweight by design and being bigger is a sign of being healthy and able to afford to feed ourselves well. We were taught the same unhealthy eating habits our parents were taught by their parents. We believe we're more prone to a higher percentage of body mass than white people, which is why they float and make better swimmers, and we sink. This is an absolute lie! We are a larger people by nature and design, but that's not an excuse or does it justify how shitty we cook the garbage we eat. It doesn't excuse being overweight or the issues associated with how and what we choose to shove in our faces. Again, this isn't directed predominantly to blacks; we see the exact same issues within the Latino communities.
There's a difference between thick and curvy versus overweight and obese. We fool ourselves and try to deceive others by using curvy to avoid admitting obesity. We'll use phrases like, "Big-boned" to rationalize how shitty we prepare food we see as, "Traditional" to our ethnicity; the slave food we continue to eat, but now we do it as a delicacy, not for survival. We may not be prone to being small or dainty, but we're also not meant to be as big as hell or unhealthy. Big black women aren't better cooks than small white women, nor do they deny their men food, just because he's not a bigger man.
Food should fuel your body, not fill you up to where you have to unbutton your pants after eating. We make fun of eating so much crap food that it makes us sleepy or doesn't have the drive or desire to do anything but sleep or sit on our asses. You're tired and immobile because of the ridiculous strain you're putting on your body to digest all that horrible prepared garbage you just ate. There's absolutely no recognized medical condition known as, "The Itis."
The food you eat isn't a matter of heritage or tradition. It doesn't make you who you are or what your background is. What you shove in your belly isn't a reflection of your ethnic pride or lack thereof. Food isn't limited to a specific race, skin color, or background. Its origin may have begun in a specific area, but it isn't yours to claim or assume ownership of. Black people will talk shit about another person for not wanting to poison themselves with unhealthy food or foods prepared in a shitty fashion. The fact of the matter would be in this modern time if we were still limited to, "Slave food," we'd be up in arms, trying to march, protest, and fight for the right for the same types of food everyone else had access to. Why are we still feeding on the same unhealthy survival food when better choices are available?
In the lower-income communities, opportunity and access to more nutritional choices are limited, but that's when healthier preparation and an active lifestyle can be substituted to lower the health risks of an unhealthy diet. Planting yourself in front of the television after a big meal, instead of going for a short walk allows all the grease and fat you just consumed to settle into your system and wreak havoc on your body. Healthy hydration. Water isn't evil, regardless of what your children tell you; 3-4 heaving cups of extra sugar per pitcher of pre-sweetened juice powder or iced tea. Extra salt. Would you like some salad with your dressing? Fry less, bake more.
It's hard to feed your family fruit juice when you're paying $5 per gallon when 2 liters of soda is only $.80. Fruit instead of cookies. Crackers instead of chips. Water instead of soda. We let our children tell us what they're going to eat and what you're going to prepare for them, instead of telling them what they're going to eat. Let them get hungry enough; they'll eat those carrot sticks and be thankful. Limit alcohol intake; two words, "Beer belly."
Just because soul food is accepted as a cuisine, doesn't make it a healthy one; nor does it identify or correlate to a person's sense of history or tradition. Someone's disgust or reluctance to eat pig's feet or pig ears, "Chitlins" or deep-fried foods doesn't justify criticizing their, "Blackness" or accuse them of, "Forgetting where they come from." They know exactly where they come from; that's why they're not cooking or eating that shit, because they know where it's going. High blood pressure. Diabetes. High cholesterol. Hypertension. Heart disease. Heart attack and stroke. Take your pick.
We want what we can't have; as long as it's available, we don't want it. If the time ever came where black/Latino people were told the only thing they were allowed to eat were unhealthy foods, cooked in bullshit, we'd take to the streets. Riots. Protests. Marches; you name it. We'd fight tooth and nail for the right to have access to the same foods, "White people" had access to. Funny how we don't want it because we CAN have it. We'd be up in arms about equality; we'd shout racism and bigotry. We'd fight tooth and nail for access to the same healthy foods we run from and pass by every time we go grocery shopping.
The same thing happens in the Latin community. Along with those who don't speak Spanish, Latinos will criticize and condemn their own because they choose not to indulge in the unhealthy preparation and consumption of what's considered, "Traditional" Mexican food. Refried beans, cooked in pure fat and smothered in sour cream, covered with heavy cheeses. Deep or pan-fried tortillas. Meats soaked in grease and insanely spiced. Culturally, a smaller Mexican man's family will criticize his wife or significant other and accuse her of not being a good wife or woman; they see that man as not being fed properly, based on his size. "Mexican men are supposed to be big!"
Slave food. Soul food. Survival vs. choice. Slave food was a necessity, a method of survival. Soul food is a choice; better quality and more nutritious, but prepared in a shitty way by our own free will. Slave food is a part of our history and heritage, but NOT a lifestyle to be continued under a shield of tradition and, "Blackness." It's not a foundation of our current culture, and it doesn't make anyone less worthy of their racial or ethnic identity. Don't criticize or confuse what was once our only option with availability and free will. Putting a negative label on someone's pride in their race or skin color just because they don't want to eat shit they know is unhealthy doesn't mean they've turned their back on their history; if we can't learn from the mistakes of our past, we're on track to repeat the same shit going forward into our future.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
July 27, 2019
Dating used to be so much easier back in the day; when the most pressing concerns and questions now seem so trivial. Where to go? What to wear? How, when, and where to ask, and if you have enough money? Making sure you could get the car for that night before your older brother or sister beat you to it. The concerns had shifted from wondering when and if it was okay to hold hands, put your arm around her waist, or go in for that first kiss. Now, it's about whether or not you're going to fuck tonight.
Instead of just having a good time and enjoying each other's company, men are so focused on the endgame. Women are on high alert against every guy, thinking he's a player or has a hidden agenda. They'll set parameters and boundaries, sabotaging the date before it even starts or ends. Women have it set in their minds that no matter how well it goes, she doesn't kiss on the first date. Men will lose all interest in seeing her again if he doesn't receive a certain amount of physical or sexual contact. You think a movie's a bad idea for a first date because you can't talk or get to know each other. Here's a radical idea; instead of rushing into a first date, instead of texting back and forth, how about picking up the fucking phone and having an actual conversation? How about asking questions? How about showing interest during conversations, instead of just pretending to get to the first date or get to sex? That way, the idea of a movie doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Besides, you can always talk AFTER the movie, or the next day, or the day after that. Did that ever cross your mind? Most movies are only 90-105 minutes long.
Coffee's fucking boring and can be taken as a hidden insult. When meeting from an online dating site, one of the most popular first suggestions is coffee. The reason being is that it puts a short time frame on how much time you spend with each other; plus it furnishes an easy escape at the first sign of incompatibility. The thought of one or both of you may be nervous and say or do something out of nervousness will instantly be dismissed as a red flag, turning your focus from allowing them to recover from an honest mistake to make a quick exit, which has now consumed your attention.
Even if the date ends with an invitation to spend the night doesn't mean every date will end with sex; however, don't act shitty if the other person expects sex at the end of the next date. It's all about how you put yourself out there and how you communicate the type of person you are. Be honest about what you're looking for. She may NOT be the slut you think she is, just because she invited you to stay the night, and he's not the player you think he is because he accepted. The two of you may have had such intense physical chemistry that it was a natural result of your attraction to each other. Just take it for what it is/was and work it out from there.
What happened to just going out and having a good time? Why waste time to take someone out, just to sit there texting, checking sports scores, watching videos, updating social media, or just not talking? Granted, there's nothing wrong with a period of silence, especially if having a meal because no one wants to be sitting across from someone, trying to carry on a conversation with a mouthful of food. You don't need to take a picture of everything you're eating or video of who else is in the building and what they're doing.
Why take someone out for an evening of live music or dancing, just to stare and check out other men or women, looking for someone that may be more your type? Just in case it's a slow night and there's nothing else biting? Why are you pointing out how cute or silly someone else looks dancing? Why are you so concerned with how goofy someone else looks doing whatever, instead of paying attention to the person you're out with? "People-watching,"? That's nothing more than sitting on your ass, watching others live their life and enjoy themselves.
No one approaches anyone anymore unless supercharged by the fuel of alcohol or the goal of sex. Holding on to expecting a man to approach is unrealistic in this day and time. Online is the new norm. Is it because we've lost the ability to speak to someone like we have some sort of sense, without trying out a bunch of bullshit pick up lines, or working our, "Game"? Or is it easier for us to accept rejection when it's not facing to face? More people are giving out social media info, instead of that fly-by-night idea of exchanging phone numbers and actually using them. Picking up the phone and having an actual conversation is having a pet Centaur in your backyard that feeds on Ambrosia salad.
Trying to date 3-4 people at once, thinking you don't want all your eggs in one basket; it doesn't give much time or opportunity to really spend with or get to know any of them on any deeper level past the basic shit.
What happened to just having fun and enjoying a date? People stress themselves over making the right impression to either turn it into a relationship or getting ass at the end of the night. There shouldn't be any pressure to make a perfect or false impression, just to seem more desirable. If there's no spark or chemistry, so be it. If there IS chemistry, allow things to progress organically, don't push yourself or your date into moving too fast. Keep an open mind; don't just assume someone has an ulterior motive, but don't fool yourself into thinking you're going to change someone who has a dealbreaker you can't get past. If it doesn't work out, don't take it personally; every first date isn't going to lead to a love connection. Relax, it's just a date.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
July 21, 2019
Dealing with death is something we all have to face sooner or later. Not just our own, but the death of friends and family. Even the death of complete strangers. Mass shootings, acts of terrorism, death in combat, accidents, and so on. Death is one of only a small handful of undeniable guarantees in life, and none of them have the ability to affect us on such a large scale than the guarantee of death.
While some see the birth of a new life as a time or reason to celebrate and rejoice, others see it as a time to mourn. The sad truth is that as soon as we're born, we begin to decay, we start dying. As morbid and insensitive as that may sound, it's true. Many cultures around the world share the same belief. Some see death as a bridge to something else, something better than the life we have on this earth, while others see it as nothing more than the end of individual biological function.
Why the philosophical introduction? Because with so much death going on in the world we can't do a damn thing about, there's one aspect of death that can be influenced and possibly diverted; when someone decides to take their own life.
No one wants to imagine that phone call or walking through the front door to find out someone close to us has not only passed on, but their lives were cut short by their own doing. One of the first questions people will ask after the initial shock would be, "Why?" Depression. Mental issues. Impulse. Cries for help. Trauma. Bullying. Drugs. Self-image. Unemployment/finances. Loneliness. Relationship/breakup. Terminal illness. Take your pick. The holidays are the worst. Thanksgiving and Christmas is the time when the highest number of suicides take place, especially in high-stress jobs like law enforcement, public service, and military. These jobs also carry some of the highest divorce rates in the country.
While I understand the pain of loss and the initial shock of learning a friend of mine took his life, I couldn't help but to be pissed off. I realize when people decide that ending their lives may seem like their only recourse, I find it to be an excruciatingly shitty and selfish thing to do. No thought is given to the family and loved ones left behind. The friends of those loved ones having to deal with their grief and loss and dealing with the details of their death, the funeral arrangements, the pain of cleaning their room or home. The act of leaving someone to deal with the stages of grief and loss is such a fucked-up thing to do when all they had to do was ask for help.
As most of us have been told or taught, dealing with death comes in stages.
- Shock and denial. Upon hearing the news, it's natural to deny the actual reality of loss. The initial shock provides a shield against being over-emotional and lashing out at the wrong people.
- Pain and guilt. It's important to experience the pain of loss without using negative coping tools, like alcohol or drugs. Don't avoid feeling pain by burying yourself in work or other things that may take away from dealing. Guilt from feeling you could've done something to prevent the tragedy. There also may be guilt from not saying I love you, etc.
- Anger and bargaining. Lashing out or blaming others. Bargaining with God to bring them back in exchange for changes in your own habits and behavior.
- Depression and reflection. No one can tell you how to grieve; no one can tell you how long it should take to heal or get over your individual sense of loss. Realize your level of loss. People isolate themselves to reflect on a life spent with loved ones.
- The recovery Phase. This is where things start to calm down, and the road to returning to normal begins. Depression starts to fade.
- Rebuilding. Your comfort and ability to function without your loved one returns.
- Acceptance and hope. The final stage. You've accepted the loss. You've dealt with the other stages, and you think of them without pain or sadness. Acceptance doesn't necessarily mean happiness.
Why would you put somebody else through all that? Why would anyone be so selfish as to wish that type of suffering and grief to their loved ones? You'd be making others feel the exact same way you feel, the difference being they don't need to escape in the same manner as you. It's not only selfish, but it ruins the memory of the deceased. Imagine the emotional toll it would take on someone after realizing they love you for the person you are/were but hate you for what you put them through. Think about how shitty they'll feel carrying that along with the other emotions experienced with your death.
The reason I outlined the stages of death was hopefully to alert someone to what they leave behind when they CHOOSE to end their life. It may not mean much to them, but hopefully knowing the impact they leave behind may either convince them to seek help or realize there are people who care about them, who would grieve over them — understanding what a self-initiated premature death would do to everyone who stands at their funeral, watching that casket lower into the ground, wondering what they could've done to prevent this tragedy.
Keeping in mind that a large number of suicides that result in actual death are accidents. The truth is that many suicides are more attempts than intentional acts; cries for attention or for help gone horribly wrong. Not to say there aren't people in the world who sincerely want to end their life, depending on their reason. When someone has decided there's no other option; death seems like the perfect solution. It's not because they WANT to die, it's because, in their mind, there's nothing else for them, nowhere to go, no one to turn to. It doesn't matter if a person has 20 friends, loving families they can turn to. The thought of being alone is so strong; they believe none of them could possibly understand how they feel.
How do I know this? Because I've been there. I've thought about it, more than once. I've held a gun to my head. I've had pills in my hand, I've contemplated the sharp 90-degree turn that flips the car, or swerving into oncoming traffic. I've asked myself, "Who would care? Who would even miss me?" I've personally been so low I didn't think there was any other recourse than to end my own life. Did I actually WANT to die? I can't answer that; I don't know. Did I care or even give thought to what or who I'd be leaving behind? No. I never gave any concern to those who'd have to pick up the pieces and not only deal with my death but the decision to die by my own hands.
I wanted to end my life because I was in a place I couldn't seem to crawl my way out of. I allowed myself to be influenced into think I wasn't worth having anyone in my life. I had no job, no money, no car, and with one foot from being homeless. I wanted to end my life because the decisions I made in my past finally caught up to me, and dropped like a hammer. Later in life, I'd found myself in the same boat again, this time with a series of illnesses that caused me to be unemployed again and even lower than before.
How does one spot the warning signs someone's contemplating suicide? They come out and talk about it. They have increased drug or alcohol use. Online searches for ways to do it. They begin isolating themselves from friends, family, social groups, etc. They sleep too much or not enough. They may blurt out words of affection or say, "I love you" out of the blue. They begin saying their goodbyes and giving away prized or meaningful possessions. Aggression. Irritability. Easily ashamed or humiliated.
First of all, EVERY sign should be taken seriously. Second, If you find out someone you know has those thoughts, don't TELL them to get help, TAKE them to get help. It's not your job to criticize or preach. If you don't know where to go, find the nearest church, police officer, firefighter, teacher, counselor, stranger, mail-carrier, or even the guy is pushing carts at the grocery store. SOMEONE will get you to the right people. Just because you're having these thoughts don't make you, "Crazy" You're just in a place in your life where you may need to be reminded you're worth having around and your presence will be missed.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
July 14, 2019
Your sex is good, but lately, the desire to take it to the next level has been a source of curiosity for some time. The problem is she was raised to believe anything outside of what's thought of as, "Traditional/Normal" made her a dirty slut. He doesn't want to do or say the wrong thing and get himself in hot water. There's nothing wrong with wanting to add a little something extra to your sex life. Whether you're single or in a relationship, the first thing you need to do is understand that the choices you make when it comes to how and what you want sexually should be respected and honored. Be honest with yourself and your partner if you have one.
As I've preached over and over and over again, communication is key; especially when trying to introduce a new dynamic into your sex life. Just because one person wants to add more fuel to the fire, doesn't necessarily mean the flame was going out initially; they may want to use more accelerant and boost the flame. Or maybe throw some Applewood or Mesquite chips in with the charcoal.
When bringing this subject to your partner, understand that no matter what you say or how you say it, there's a chance they're going to think you're unhappy or unsatisfied with your sex life. Encourage them and re-affirm that's not the case. Also, in this day of technology, this is absolutely NOT the type of conversation to be had via text message. This is an in-person subject matter and should be taken seriously.
People are nervous or awkward about bringing this up to their partner for a few reasons. Maybe they just don't know how to bring it up. They're worried it'll be taken the wrong way. They may know right off the bat their partner isn't going to want to have the conversation, and that's the wrong attitude to have.
Men typically believe if his lady has ideas on how to take their sex to that next level, he'll resist; he'll assume what he's doing is and should be good enough so he'll shut it down without listening. Or he'll half-listen, just to appease her. If HE brings it to her, she'll assume he's been unfaithful and has tried things with someone else and wants to do them with her now. Drawbacks? She could only be going through with what you come up with to keep you happy. He will assume you're more experienced than you may have let on initially; for some men, that may be an issue.
When discussing how to add that extra something to your sex life, there are few things to remember. Start slow and simple; don't break out a full-page apiece and drop the hammer all in one shot. Overwhelming each other can throw a wrench in the intent before it even gets started. Keep it realistic. Don't ask for shit you KNOW your partner won't go for. A large percentage of men will just assume spicing up their sex life will include a threesome, and that's one of the first things that'll be on his list. Leave the strap-ons, plugs, toys, handcuffs, and props for the improv theater; this is about you and your partner. Expect resistance. Embarrassment and discomfort will be two very formidable obstacles that must be met head-on and dealt with for this venture to be successful. And above all, keep it 1000% honest!
Start off simple:
- Role-Playing. Pretend you don't know each other and try to convince her to go back to your place with you. Act like you're in town on business and it won't hurt for him to mess around on his make-believe wife or girlfriend at home.
- Light, playful touching. It doesn't mean, go straight for the goodies; but it also isn't limited to just hugging, kissing, etc. Explore each other and find the places that turn you on that you could do in plain sight; such as the back of her neck, scratching his back or massaging her calves. It shows you both you're more than just sexual parts to one another.
- Talking, "Dirty." This may take some preparation. If you have issues using certain words, try writing them down, saying in front of the mirror, or to yourself in private. Another alternative to talking dirty is texting your intent and desires.
- Affirmation. I don't care what a man says to you; he WANTS to hear how big he is (As long as it's true). A woman wants to know she can satisfy her man. Affirmation keeps the other person confident in their ability to please and from assuming the conversation about adding to the bedroom is about keeping it fresh, not because it's gone stale.
- Go shopping together for something sexy to wear for that special night out on the town. Nothing will get a man turned up on his lady quicker and easier than showing off her figure for him. Make sure she's comfortable wearing it though; again, it's not just about you.
- Try adding 1 or 2 new positions regularly. Keep in mind; every position isn't going to work for everyone. Don't get discouraged if this happens. Don't try to fold your woman up like a fucking pretzel or spread her legs open wider than an autopsy. Don't lean back so far; you're about to snap his shit off at the base. Remember, keep it simple and build your arsenal of positions gradually.
- There's nothing wrong with watching porn together or doing online research.
- The fantasy bowl. Write down things you'd like to try on slips of paper and put them in a jar. Take turns pulling one fantasy a week each and goes for it.
- Hop in the shower together. Classic, but still effective.
- For one night, forget intercourse altogether and just go monkey-fucking wild on foreplay. This will only work when you BOTH agree to not have sex, NO MATTER WHAT! This will build anticipation to a point where you both are just going nuts for each other! Plus, it gives you both another opportunity to explore and experience each other on a deeper level, you may not have even touched on, no matter how long you've been together. It may sound crazy as hell, but trust me, it's the shit!
- Take it outside the bedroom. When you're leaving dinner, before you get in, push her up against the car and kiss the fuck out of her. Try having sex in the car while parked in the garage, on an air mattress in the backyard, or on the couch. Hop in the shower, or even mutual oral sex in a parking lot at night after a movie. Try playing with each other if you can discreetly make it happen in public.
- Keep as much of your clothing on as possible. It gives sex that Dirty/Primal feeling. There's something hot and animalistic about reaching up, tearing her panties off or moving them to the side, bending her over and dishing up a hot, party-size serving of dick. Yes, sometimes there actually is such a thing as being, "Too naked."
- Make a playlist. Not only does it add something new to the experience, but it'll actually help sex last longer. You can take your time; slow the tempo and your stroke way down, relax, and focus on the music, instead of trying to not blow your load too soon.
- Go out and go commando.
- Learn to miss each other. Spend time apart. Encourage regular girl's/guy's night out. They'll appreciate seeing you when you get home.
- Save the flannel for when the heater goes out or for when you're sick. Not to say you can't be comfortable, but lingerie isn't always the answer. Go for something more simple, but still just as sexy. A strategically tight-fitted tank top with just the right amount of cleavage and room for a bounce, and a pair of thin, boy-shorts or boxers will turn a guy on like a fucking light switch!
- Share the initiative; don't leave it up to one person to do the lion's share of getting something started. After a while, don't be surprised if it starts to dwindle. Both partners need to feel desired and wanted.
- With work, children, and other responsibilities sometimes it's more convenient to wait until bedtime to have sex, but there are also times and opportunities on the weekends, holidays, days off, etc. where you can sneak off for some fun during the day. Sex isn't a nocturnal activity unless you're fucking a vampire.
- Something as easy as wearing cologne or perfume could make all the difference. Also, put on some actual lipstick now and then. Lip gloss and lip balm are NOT equal alternatives; they're completely different!!!
- Don't be afraid or embarrassed by PDA. If you're not into it and your partner needs it, rest assured, you're in for a short-term relationship.
Keeping in mind these suggestions are NOT intended to aid in the resurrection of a failing relationship, nor are they for re-vitalizing a dead/dying sex life. The intent is for individuals or couples who have a healthy relationship and sexual interaction, looking to keep it that way. Understanding what YOU need in order to better interact with your partner sexually is just as important as being able to meet THEIR needs also. Remember; communication, honesty, taking things slow, accepting criticism and direction from each other, and patience is key. Don't get frustrated if one of you doesn't feel comfortable right away with going to that next level as quickly as you; the fact they are willing to enjoy the experience with you says a lot. Keep it simple, realistic, and respectful and the rewards will pay for itself way into the future. Good luck.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
July 7, 2019
Sex may not be the most essential aspect of a relationship, but it's a pretty damn pivotal one. Dry spells are a part of every relationship; not every couple is in the mood at the same time, all the time and as we get older and become more comfortable with one other, they're expected from time to time. There's no reason to think there's anything's wrong if you and your partner haven't had sex in a week. Once you've hit that two weeks to one month mark, then there's the time when you need to sit down and ask, "What the fuck?" The truth is the longer you go without it, the more awkward that first time back will be. One or both of will ask yourself what was it that made you go so long without, and you'll start to over-analyze the situation.
Medical reasons. There's a laundry list of medical issues that result in loss of sex drive between two people, too many to get into. Stress. Depression. Age. Inability to perform. An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy could be a reason, as well. Perhaps one person was involved in an accident that affected their ability to engage in sexual activity. Or something worse, like a sexual assault, could definitely halt or strain a physical relationship. These are uncontrollable reasons to where life just happens. It's a shitty roll of the dice. There's nothing that can be done about those situations; they are what they are.
Excluding those, there's a shitload of reasons couples stop having sex. Both men and women contribute equally to their loss of spark, while others are specific to each partner. As a team, couples allow their bullshit to spill from other sources into the bedroom. They argue about other shit, and they go to bed mad at each other. When a couple has been together for a while, the chances of falling into a routine is extremely high.
They are waiting until the kids go to bed. Light kissing and touching, maybe a little dirty talk; the same dirty talk they've been using for the entire length of their relationship. She gives him head; she rubs her until she's wet. She climbs on top and rides him for a few minutes before he turns her over and takes her from behind. The finale consists of him being on top, humping like a teenage rabbit, right out of prison until he blows his load inside her.
Like a perfectly rehearsed production, the act of sex has gotten as predictable as the evening TV lineup and has become monotonous and boring. There's no deviation. Neither of them wants to try anything new or exciting. Sex feels more like just something to do, instead of something to experience. The romance, sensuality, and intimacy are gone. They just don't turn each other on anymore. Stresses and deadlines at work may affect sex drive or frequency. Issues at home. Bills. The car needs repair. The laundry's piling up. One of the kids needs braces. He is running them back and forth from one afterschool activity to the next. Dad has his fantasy football league, and mom has her TV binge-watching. They're so busy being parents; they don't take the time to be a married couple. They don't go out together as a man and a woman; everything's a FAMILY outing. Sex feels more like work or obligation than something to enjoy. They've reached a point to where sex isn't as important as it used to be for one or even both of them. Neither of them makes the other feel appreciated, sexy, or desired.
Something as simple as personal hygiene could throw a wrench into a well-thought-out plan for a night of sex. One or both partners may be turned off by the amount of hair the other has in their private areas. Men won't trim or groom because they feel it takes away from his masculinity, his manhood. Women won't shave because they say it makes them feel like a little girl again. The idea or thought of going down on their partner and possibly tasting residual urine doesn't appeal to either of them. Body odor. Bad breath. She may HATE his new, big, bushy, un-kept beard. He may be absolutely turned off by her new, "Super-short" haircut. His toenails shred the sheets. She only waxes her mustache once a month now, instead of every week like she used to. With age comes maturity. With maturity comes an evolution in priorities. Sometimes, those priorities get redundant, and sex becomes a backburner activity.
Sex diminishes because he only wants to and knows how to fuck; he doesn't understand or doesn't care about the difference between fucking, having sex, or making love. He only interested in getting his dick sucked, with no thought of reciprocity. He's only interested in getting off. It's hard for her to enjoy herself because he cums too quick and he's done as soon as he gets his. He doesn't realize the value or purpose of foreplay. For non-medical reasons, he can't get or stay hard for her, but when it comes to strippers or porn, he's just fine. He spends too much time and money at the strip club. He turns her down a lot. He jacks off more than he wants to be with her. In HIS mind, he can get off, without the foreplay, hugging, and cuddling or interaction before and after. HE can get his nut off during the commercial break and make it back in time to finish watching the game. He wants anal. He's no longer attracted to her and wants it from certain positions where he doesn't have to look at her. He wants it the way HE wants it, and he'll get shitty or shut down if he doesn't get it. He only wants it when he's drunk or high. She's caught him watching TV.
HIS complaints? "She takes too long to get wet" What men don't understand is they may able to get hard and be ready at the drop of a hat, but the arousal process for a woman takes much longer; it can take a woman up 10 minutes to get wet, depending on what and how she's being stimulated. Men expect women to be ready when they are and get butt-fucking hurt when it takes her longer, accusing her of not being into it. He'll use that to avoid having sex altogether. That's why foreplay is more important to women than men. He'll turn her NEED for foreplay into a complaint.
On the flip side, some men feel that women can get, "Too wet." What the fuck does THAT mean? I'd personally take that as a compliment. Another thing men complain about is when a woman orgasms, she squirts. Again, that should be a compliment. Sure you have to change your linens and wash your blankets the next day, but that's also why there's such thing as vinyl mattress covers, or put a fucking towel or two underneath you. She knows she squirts, don't make her feel like it's something to be ashamed of.
She's too loud. She can't suck dick. That's because you never want to eat her pussy, so she purposely does a shitty job at it to keep you from wanting it. If by the rare possibility that she IS bad at it, there's a polite way to address and help her get better; just don't be a dick about it. She's put on too much weight. She wants it too much. Again, that should be taken as a compliment, asshole.
Women will use sex as a reward for good behavior and a punishment for pissing her off, which is a shitty fucking thing to do. Sex isn't a bargaining tool or casino chip. A lot of women believe they can control a relationship because she controls the pussy. If you're a woman and you've ever thought that, you're seriously fucked up, and you deserve to get cheated on or dropped on your ass. That shit isn't cute, funny, or productive. It's just plain fucked up. Sometimes women won't initiate because she's learned to accept being turned down.
On the other hand, there are women who believe a man should initiate most of the time. That's bullshit. Luckily, some men just want to get him and be done, but for those who actually enjoy sex, they don't ALWAYS want to be the one initiating; sooner or later, he's going to start thinking you could care less if you have sex or not. That's the type of thinking that gets him seeking advice from other women on how he can get you to initiate more, and the last thing a woman should want is her man talking to another woman about the issues he's having in bed.
She emasculates him in public. Cutting him off when he talks — speaking for him. Taking more of a masculine, "Breadwinner" role in the relationship will make a man feel like shit. Trying to be dominant in the bedroom all the time will definitely keep a man from wanting to fuck. Allow a man to be a man, especially when you have a good, decent man. Otherwise, she'll lose that man to a woman who knows how to be a woman in a relationship.
Shut the fuck up about your body. Apparently, if you're getting dick regularly, he likes what he sees when he looks at you. He doesn't care about your belly, thighs, underarms, or whatever else you complain about while you're tugging on your shirt to keep him from pulling it off while you're riding him. He doesn't want to keep hearing shit about what she hates about her body. She'll only have sex at night and will interrupt some good-ass foreplay or wait until he's rock-fucking hard, getting ready to pound that pussy only to ask him to stop and go turn off the light because she doesn't want him to see her body. WHAT THE FUCK? Shut your moment-ruining ass and take the dick.
He hurries her. She tells her friends about how small he is or how he can't put it on her right. He always wants to be pleasured first, with the promise he'll return the favor, only to roll over and go to sleep right after he gets him or tells her to wait until halftime for her to get off because she takes too long to cum. She'll kiss around his dick like a planetary orbital path but won't suck his dick, and will lie to him and say she can ONLY cum if he eats her pussy. Porn has made him numb to the concept of actual sex; that being said, if it doesn't resemble the fantasy of the online scenario, he's not interested.
People are quick to assume a man's the main reason why couples stop having sex; truthfully, BOTH partners have some of the same contributing traits when it comes to the fizzle in the bedroom. Of course, cheating is a HUGE reason why people stop having sex. No spark during the actual experience of sex can turn one or both people off. Personally, I'd lose interest in having sex with someone who's just lying there quietly, like a cold fucking fish with absolutely no expression whatsoever. No moaning. No compliments. No dirty talk; nothing remotely resembling a facial expression of pleasure or enjoyment. Step the fuck up, get nasty, try new things, open the lines of communication and figure out what the hell the issue is. Make each other comfortable enough to be able to express what they feel is the problem and what can be done to make sex enjoyable again. Be open to criticism and new ideas from BOTH sides. And above all, don't take shit personally and don't throw blame. Remember, it's about repairing a broken part of your relationship. Fix it.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
June 30, 2019
She's a trained assassin. Her target? Any other woman she views as a threat or competition. Someone she sees as being beneath her. Her enemy is any woman she shares no obligation or alliance with. Her camouflage is fake friendship, concern, and sincerity. Her main diversion tactic is support and understanding when her enemy needs it the most. Her weapon of choice? Gossip.
Do men gossip? ABSOLUTELY! When the word gossip or rumor comes up, we assume it's the spread of negative information about someone else. We see women as the main culprits of spreading gossip and rumors, but the truth is men spread rumors and gossip just as much as women. Gossip is information somebody may spread that was entrusted to them or acquired through experience, interaction, or what we'd assume to be a credible outside source. And that information is spread without knowledge or permission. Both neutral or negative, Men and women gossip in different ways and for different reasons. Men gossip more as a joke or in the pursuit of sex, while women gossip for more damaging and sinister purposes.
Men gossip by showing naked pictures or sexual text message they may have received from a woman who isn't their significant other to his buddies, seeking their adoration. I never understood why servicemembers overseas would show the photos and videos their wives or girlfriends would send them to all their pals. In the gym, men will criticize or comment on the routine or technique of another man's workout, along with the amount of weight he's lifting in comparison to what they believe he SHOULD be lifting. Men will also gawk at and eye-fuck any woman wearing the slightest, tightest workout gear and comment on how great her ass looks. A classic version of gossip is men referring to another man being, "whipped" by his woman. Just because she asks him to check in to make sure he's okay or thinks he should be home at a decent, respectable hour, men will call other men whipped if he chooses to go out with his lady than to hang out with the guys on Friday night.
Another classic is when men talk shit when they see an obviously mismatched couple. She's 5'7", 125 lbs. of sexy as fuck and her man's 5'10", 160 lbs. of lanky, pink polo shirt-wearing anti-masculinity. Men will wonder how they got together. "He doesn't know what to do with all that; you know he ain't hitting that shit right." Men will question that other guys' manhood, without even knowing him, assuming he doesn't have the sexual ability to satisfy a woman he sees as too good for him, but just right for the gossip. Sexual remarks or comments about a woman's body and what he'd do to her if he had the chance is another form of male gossip. "She may be ugly as fuck, but she got a fat ass, I'd fuck her, but I'd have to do it doggy style in the dark!"
Men gossip by making fun of another man if he happens to get beat in almost any competition with a female. Men will gossip and talk shit about a man who isn't good at or interested in sports. Not as much as women, but men will gossip out of jealousy. Car. Money. Clothes. The quantity or quality of women someone attracts. Flip it around, and a man will talk shit about how fucked up a guy's dressed. Men won't let their friends hang out with them if he looks fucked up. Women will tell another woman she looks great, just to make sure at least one person in their circle looks worse than they might.
Men will talk shit to a woman about the guy she's seeing if he wants her. He'll tell her he's a player and to watch out for him. Most men have at least one friend with a woman the gossip wants. He'll comment on how hot she is. Men will brag and lie on their dick to other men for admiration. A man will gossip about who he fucked in the office. He'll brag to other guys about who's interested in him and sleeping with him. Men are open about who they want. He'll gossip about how she is in bed; the intricate details about their sexual encounter(s). In response, others will also brag about what they did with that same woman, all taking pride in conquering her sexually; what she likes, dislikes, and how good she was or wasn't.
Women gossip out of boredom. For popularity; they want to be known as the woman who has all the juiciest gossip. Revenge against someone they feel wronged them in some way, personally or professionally. Competition. Hatred. Exclusion. Greed. Career advancement. Self-esteem. Attention. To gain alliances. Addiction to drama and negativity. Women spread rumors and gossip about a woman to a man they want who maybe with someone else. Jealousy. Acceptance into a specific social group. Misery and unhappiness in their own lives. The pursuit of pity. Women are way more harsh with their gossip. Patient, cold, and calculating when it comes to how and why they gossip and spread rumors.
Women will spread gossip and rumors about someone who advances in their career. They'll celebrate another woman's success, then talk shit about how they fucked their way into their new position. They'll drink, dance and party with the best of them. Come Monday morning, everyone in the office knows just how much of a slut her friend is. The girl's weekend trip to Vegas? What happened in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas; it's on social media in the form of posts, pictures, and tweets. She'll turn around and call that same friend who just paid for the last round of drinks a slut. They'll smile to each other's faces and slash them deep into the side because they can't get the knife in their back fast enough.
Women will gossip about a woman being a shitty mother and having spoiled, bad-ass, rotten kids. Women will criticize how their friends dress or wear their makeup. Women make fun of and gossip about each other's weight and how fucked up they look when they go out. Women gossip about how she's prettier than another woman she sees as inferior when she sees her with a man she believes should be with her instead. Not only will she comment to her friends about it, but she'll try to make it her plan to let that other man know he can do better than what/who he's with. Unattractive women gossip more and spread more gossip and rumors about attractive women than vice-versa.
Women have no issue with talking shit about how unattractive one of her friends is. Men will criticize their friends' choice in the women they choose, based on who they believe that friend should be with. Women will smile to your face and drive a wooden stake through your spine as soon as you turn your back. Men will put another man's sexually transmitted disease history out in the open in order to fuck a woman his buddy's talking to. Women will gossip about how small a man's dick is and a man will spread how well a woman sucks dick or takes it from behind. For whatever reason, both men and women gossip and spread rumors among each other for a multitude of reasons, and in different ways. The only constants are it happens, it's never going to stop, and the worst thing a person can do is try to investigate or chase down a rumor.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
June 23, 2019
We all have a past. Our past defines, shapes, and molds us into who are now. Our past experiences, both good and bad, have a long-lasting effect on how we behave, the decisions we make, and how we navigate life, professionally, socially, personally, and romantically. It's almost impossible to live life without repetition. After all, it's the greatest teacher and how most of us learn.
With that being said, I can't help but to point out and comment on people who expect their relationships to be full of all brand new shit. When in our teens and early 20's, the thought of being the first experience someone has is a realistic expectation. Being the best sex someone's ever had. Giving the best blow job or going down on your woman. Being the first to give someone an orgasm or the best orgasm they've ever had; those are goals that can still be achieved at a younger age. When you're in your mid-30's and above, it's time to put that shit aside and be realistic.
When in a relationship, people will inquire about or become obsessed with how many times their partner has done something in their previous relationships. Who cares how many times a woman's been with more than one man at the same time? Why does it matter if a man's had a threesome in his past? People will freak the fuck out when they find out they're not the first. Who cares? It was before you met.
It's unreasonable and downright ridiculous to get bent out of shape because you're not the first black man she's ever been with, or there was something from her past she enjoyed with someone else and wants to do it again. Refusing your partners' request because they've done it with someone else is not a good excuse. When in a relationship, people get offended and act shitty because you tell them the truth. Of course, we want to hear they've never done something before, but be realistic about your expectations. I don't' care who you are as people get older and experience more things in life the idea of being a first extends farther and farther out of reach. It shouldn't matter how many people they've had sex with. Who cares how many one-night stands they've had? Who cares if they've cheated in their past relationships? As long as they're not doing it now, none of that other shit should be your concern.
Stop asking shit you really don't want the answer to, unless it's what you want to hear. Don't get pissed off when you find out someone has already tried or done something you brought them, hoping you'd be the first. Stop bringing up shit your partner didn't ask. Stop lying about shit you've done or didn't do to keep them from judging you or so you can fuck their head up as much as their answer fucked you up. The obsession with the past needs to stop. Neither of you is virgins & if they've been married or have kids, chances are pretty good they've done some shit during that time. If someone has had more sexual partners than you, chances are they've learned and done a thing or two. Like snakes and other reptiles, we grow within the confines of our enclosure and people who are more traveled or diverse will of course also be more experienced.
Don't get fucked up in the head because they took you to their favorite restaurant or nightclub, and ask how many people they've been there within the past; you sound a fucking idiot. It's their favorite place, and they're sharing it with you. They're trying to introduce you to a side of themselves you may not have known existed or are trying to bring you into a part of their normal life. Your obsession with how many others they've taken to a specific place will stop them from wanting to let you in past a certain point in their personal lives.
Stop bringing up shit from their past, or yours, unless it pertains to your present situation or relationship. If you know they used to be a player or a party girl, there's an even chance they've done some off-the-wall shit; you'll fuck yourself up, worrying about it. Trying to avoid or expecting someone not to bring something they liked from a previous relationship is selfish and fucking silly. Does that mean they can't bring a business idea or practice from a previous job to your company that'll save or makes you a shitload of money? Would you really care where the idea came from or how many other companies are doing it, or would you just shut the fuck up and reap the benefits?
Just because you asked doesn't mean you deserve an answer. A person's past is theirs to share when they're comfortable and willing to share. What's told to you isn't and shouldn't be a subject of discussion between you or anyone else, even if you're seeking advice on how to deal with something you're having an issue with. Why's it so important to know how many people they've had sex with? Why's it such a big deal you're not the first? Why do you care if you're not the first black man or white woman they've been with? Why's it your business if your partner's done something they want to do again? It's not about the person from the past; it's about him/her and what they bring to the present relationship. So, you're NOT the first person they've had sex within a swimming pool or the ocean; so what? Does it really matter to you how many many men she's swallowed?
The thing to remember is that practice makes perfect. Instead of being all twisted in the head about something they've done before in their past, be glad they've done it enough times to where they know what they're doing and don't suck at it. What happens when you find out that thing you REALLY like was actually something they've done with someone else? Are you going to make them stop, even though it curls your toes and blows your mind every time? I doubt it.
Partial jealousy. Partial insecurity. They don't like the thought that someone may have done something better than they did it. At a certain age, we need to stop this, "I don't want you doing something with me that you did with someone else" shit. Imagination has its limits, and once you get to that point, it shouldn't concern you how many people your partner's been with and what they've done in the past. Certain details shouldn't matter to you, and it's actually none of your business; consider most of what's told to you as a gesture of respect and courtesy. The past is their past; stop dwelling in the past, or you'll have a lonely future.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
June 16, 2019
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The double standard. The pinnacle of shitty situations to be in, whether dating, married, or even just getting to know each other. No matter which situation two people are in, it doesn't make double standards any better or any worse than another. Although unproductive and potentially destructive on some catastrophic level, some double standards are understandable, based on circumstances that may have taken place. For example, someone who's been cheated on may require their partner to be more accountable for their actions or whereabouts than before they cheated. With the double standard comes contradictions within the dynamic of any relationship, again, no matter the level. What's good and acceptable versus what's expected not just by an individual but both parties can be just as toxic and damaging as a massive earthquake.
On the one hand, people want to share themselves in a relationship and be part of something greater than their individual self. On the other, hanging on to who they were beforehand will happen naturally; some things will phase away as time goes by and the relationship matures. Others will drop anchor and remain steadfast during the course of the relationship. The truth? The double standard and the contradiction are both absolutely fucking ridiculous.
Women will drive her modern-day, self-sufficient attitude and independence with a sledgehammer, but wants a man who's traditional when it benefits her in reference to him paying for everything. Pursuing, chasing, and initiating dates and interaction. Men want a woman who'll fuck him on the first night/first date and will get pissed if she doesn't. On the other hand, he won't consider her relationship material because she fucked him on the first date/first night, thinking she's a slut. Women want an ambitious, career-driven man, then complains he works too damn much. A man won't work or look for a better job but complain about always being broke or having nice things. Women want a big house, but bitch about cleaning it. Men want 3-4 kids but wants a "Mancave" to have somewhere to go to get away from them. Women will complain and bitch about her weight/figure, but won't do anything about it, or will verbally assault her man if she bought her a treadmill or gym membership.
Men will bitch about his job, co-workers, or his boss, but won't look for anything else. Women will meet a guy, exchange numbers, then ignore him if/when he calls. Men want/buy nice, expensive cars, then bitch about repairs/maintenance, gas or insurance. Women will complain about not finding or how they're no good men, but when they meet one, he's too good to be true. Men bitch about being broke, but he'll shit $200 for sneakers. She can't go to the club with her girlfriends because men are dirty as fuck, but it's okay for him to go with his friends. She can have multiple male friends, but he's fucking all his female friends. HIS phone's hidden or locked tighter than AREA 51, but HER phone better be 1000% accessible at ALL TIMES! He has a time frame to respond to calls/texts, but he has to understand she's working. She criticizes HIS weight and calls it joking, but she'll rip his balls off if he says one fucking word about hers!
She has to dress down when she goes out, but he goes out looking slicker than duck snot when he's with his friends. He doesn't think she should hang out at night with single women, but all his friends are single. She'll complain he wants to fuck all the time but will accuse him of fucking around if he's not in the mood. She'll point out every fucked up thing her ex did during their relationship, but will NEVER cop to her own shit. He'll complain that she doesn't trust him, but he's jealous as fuck about everything. In her mind, there's nothing wrong if she accepts a drink from another man, but she'll change the fucking locks on the door if he offers another woman one. Even though male strippers are more likely to have sex/sexual contact with female customers, she'll shit solid bricks if he goes to the strip club. They have to see every movie HE wants to see, but won't sit through ONE she wants to see. He'll put his friends before her at the drop of a hat, but she'd better be available day or night. When HE has a problem, it's a REAL issue, worthy of a congressional committee, when SHE has an issue, she's being dramatic. HIS want/need for sex is far more important than hers.
She'll yell/hit him, but will call the police if he pushes her off. It's okay for her to shut down when she's mad or upset, but he's acting like a spoiled child when he does the same. He won't cook, but will bitch about what she made.
Her flirting with her male co-workers is harmless and funny; if he does it, he's fucking her. When a man cheats, he's a fucking dog; when a woman cheats, it's because her man pushed her into it. She doesn't see anything wrong with keeping a close relationship with the kids/family of her ex, but he ain't shit if he does the same. If a man wants to keep his woman, he'd better eat that pussy, but she'll circumnavigate his dick with kisses, believing sucking his dick is fucking gross. A 280 lb. man will see a 175 lb. woman and will ignore her, calling her a, "Big bitch" thinking he deserves the 115 lb. blonde across the room. Women will bitch about a woman she can't fucking stand, but will hang out with every happy hour. Women verbally abuse and accuse her man of cheating, and will get pissed off if he actually does. Women will predominately date thugs, then bitch about it when they act like thugs. Men wash their hands when they leave the restroom, then grab the handle with their bare hand when they leave, transferring all the shit from the last person who didn't wash theirs.
Women will bitch about wanting a good man, but will put him the, "Friend zone" when she meets one. Men will want a good woman when it comes to wanting a relationship, but will bitch about her not fucking him right away. Men will meet a woman at the club then bitch about it when she wants to go.
The funny thing about double standards and contractions is the mindest or mentality behind them. It's always entertaining to hear the reasons people think the way they do when trying to explain or rationalize their contradictive philosophy, especially when they're aware of or admit their double standard exists. Wenever you're in the mood for a good laugh, ask your partner about them and how they arrive to their indiviual conclusions; just as long as you both have a sense of humor about it and can communicate on that level; otherwise, you'll be setting a full powder keg on fire.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
June 9, 2019
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What happens AFTER a relationship ends? What's a safe amount of time before pursuing another relationship? Should you avoid going to the same places you used to go with your partner? What about mutual friends? Should you keep in contact with his/her family? Should you try to be friends? Every breakup doesn't have to be the result of anything negative like cheating, abuse, or anything like that; it could be as simple as the realization that the two of you have grown apart or your goals/priorities have changed. It could be the result of a life change in one person that no longer meshes with the other, and the breakup is amicable. On the other hand, it could be something much more sinister and painful. Whatever the case may be, it's important to avoid certain mistakes people make after a breakup.
Immediately following a breakup, it's not smart to still try to see or run into them intentionally. It's difficult to convince yourself to move on if you're constantly setting yourself up to be in the same place they are. Trying to be friends so soon afterward is also a no-no. Not to say it can never happen, but only after a certain amount of healing time. When it comes to, " Sex with the Ex" Understand while it can be just about sex for the man, more times than not, it's more emotional for the woman, which is a way to keep him around or coming back. Even if she TELLS him that's all it is, most of the time, that's complete BULLSHIT. A woman will not fuck her ex, just for dick; if that were the case, she'd fuck a guy she knows who only wants to fuck her without wanting a relationship. Men will try to fuck his ex out of his system by hooking up with other women.
After a breakup, women will convince their friend to sign up for online dating sites while men will try to get their friend laid. Women will stalk their ex on social media, looking for proof he was unfaithful during their relationship. Men will take to the internet to trash his ex.
Crossing paths with your ex when they're with their new partner can be just a plain down and dirty, shitty experience. It can go a multitude of ways, ranging from just walking by with absolutely no acknowledgment, to a friendly hello, to a fucked up situation. Depending on how long the breakup took place, as well as the reason for the breakup. Men are likely to show less emotion when seeing their ex with someone else, but they'll be more affected by it internally. Women are more likely to show their malcontent, even if just a subtle hint of jealousy, hatred, or a momentary loss of self-control.
I don't agree with it, but I've done it; we all have. Called it quits, just to come back a few days later to try and make things work. It's not a good idea. "Taking a break" is a stupid fucking concept, and it's nothing more than a way for a woman to start getting over her man and a man's way of fucking someone else without feeling like he cheated. I believe women more than men will prematurely call off a relationship out of anger, hurt, or frustration. A few days will go by, allowing her to evaluate why she left, regret it, and want to get back together. Her self-preservation/pride will force her to wait until her ex contacts HER. Should you choose to ride this rollercoaster of stupid fucking things to do and reconcile after right breaking up, should you disclose what you did during the breakup? FUCK NO! Do they REALLY want to know the truth? They may say they do, and if you believe that, you deserve a five-finger throat punch for being so fucking stupid! It's not the noblest or honest thing to do, and I admit that, but I personally avoid, "What if I'm making a mistake by breaking up?" cycle by severing my emotional ties to my partner BEFORE doing it physically. That way, when I leave, I don't wonder if I'm doing the right thing.
There's nothing wrong with maintaining mutual friends. Hopefully, they'll understand, respect, and support the time for healing necessary and will avoid having the two of you in the same place, at the same time, for an event or social gathering. As far as keeping in contact with or maintaining a relationship with their family, I personally have no opinion either way, UNTIL you begin a new relationship, then it becomes HORRIBLY disrespectful to your new partner. If they're okay with it and they understand, then there's nothing to say. If it does bother them, choosing the family of your ex over your new partner is a HUGE red flag for anyone and don't be surprised when they tell you it gives the impression you're still trying to hold on to the remnants of your old relationship. Especially for women, they'll develop an attachment to the children of her ex and think it's okay to continue that relationship. Again, as long as your new partner's okay with it, roll with it. If he's not, decide what's more important, your new guy or your ex's kids. Personally, I believe once the relationship is over, what's between his family and children should be over as well.
Stop comparing your new partner to your old one. Stop blaming them or yourself for the breakup; it doesn't matter anymore. Wondering what went wrong or what you/they could've done to make things better is pointless. Cut out that negative self-image shit, blaming yourself or the other person, & keep the fuck away from their new partner. No matter what you feel, you have to say to them or your ex, all you're doing is making an ass of yourself. Mementos? Letters? Cards? That sweatshirt he gave you or those sneakers she bought last year? Toss that shit out. Don't become a hermit or a crazy-ass cat lady. Don't run back every time they reach out to you; SHE wants to keep you from moving on BEFORE she does, and HE still wants to fuck you until you get smart and walk away for good. Don't get bent or pissed off when you see someone else giving your ex what you refused to give. A week. A month. A year. Sooner or later, an ex will ALWAYS remind you of why they're an EX!
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
May 19, 2019
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When calling a woman a, "Tease," first understand and realize why you're calling her that. Is it because she spent the night, enjoying the free drinks you bought, feeding off the attention you paid, even though she told you she had a man or husband? You STILL decided to try your luck, despite the fact she told you she was just hanging out with her friends and wasn't looking to meet anyone? She's not a tease, she told you what she was about for the beginning, but your pride and ego wouldn't allow you to walk away. The competition and conquest became paramount and eclipsed your better judgment.
Flirting and teasing can be both positive and negative. Flirting can be used to show or gauge someone's interest, but also because they want something from the person they're flirting with, as in a gift or favor. Teasing can be used to show playful sexual attraction, but also embarrass or humiliate someone; as in to make themselves feel attracted to someone else, other than their partner, or to boost their self-esteem. Although flirting and teasing are viewed as more of a female action, men are also just as guilty. In simplest terms, They are teasing and flirting with offering certain expectations with absolutely no intention of immediate follow-through, if any at all. Women tease on a more physical level, while men do it emotionally.
Granted, they have dual purposes, flirting seems less negative and more playful, teasing is down right fucked up. Making a guy believe you're interested or sexually attracted to him just to make yourself feel bigger or a man making a woman feel like she's more than just a fuck is seriously a shitty thing to do all around, no matter how you slice it. It's a game; a stupid fucking childish game and the person being teased isn't even the main prize; bragging rights to the conquest is what they're REALLY after. A woman will take pleasure in pulling a man's attention away from another woman he's trying to get to know, or even draw his eyes away from his lady. A man celebrates his victory when he knows he can fuck the female he's been feeding lines to, or getting her to consider fucking around on her man, thinking he's a better choice.
Teasing is wanting to humiliate and make fun of you. It's to make a person look and feel like an ass in order to supplement a deficiency in the teaser's self-confidence and self-esteem or ego. Flirting could be a form of teasing, but there's a line a flirt won't cross. If the person walks away feeling foolish, it was done less intentionally by a flirt than a tease.
Friendliness can and will often be mistaken as flirting. A smile, an overly enthusiastic greeting, compliment, or comment about how someone' s losing weight or looks nice on a particular day can be taken out of context and misunderstood as flirting. Not clearing the line of the intent behind the behavior could set a person up to feel as if he/she was being teased. Sometimes, people are just being friendly; they're not flirting or teasing. Sometimes a smile and hello is just that.
Here's the truth about teasing and flirting. Both can be playful and fucked up. They can be in-your-face obvious, or they can be subtle and discreet. As adults, we shouldn't have to resort to this game, no matter the intent. Do you truly think so little of yourself you have to make someone else feel small so you can feel better about yourself or to supplement the lack of attention you're getting from your partner? If so, you have some serious issues, and you should have your fucking head checked. If you think it's cute or endearing, check again. You're an adult, act like it. Instead of flirting, just be straight forward and let your thoughts and feeling be known; there are only two ways it can go, in your favor or not. Don't be so afraid of rejection.
Another truth? Before calling someone a tease or flirt, realize and understand why you're assigning this label; it could be because of your own doing.
A woman can meet a man and find him attractive and interesting. Their physical chemistry could be off the charts; so much so, her desire to show and express her attraction to him will sporadically eclipse her judgment and put her in a position to where her sensuality will take over and pull her from her normal character. She'll go back and forth with this, while kissing, touching, and allowing him to reciprocate. It's his turn to understand the position she's put him in and the future of her continued expression now entirely depends on him.
OPTION 1. He can go forward and allow her to express herself naturally and take things as they go organically and just enjoy the interaction as it is.
OPTION 2. Like most men, he'll assume they're going to have sex, based on her behavior thus far.
Most men will go with option #2. He'll go too far and assume he's gonna fuck tonight and that'll be his expectation and focus going forward. After the night's over, he'll walk her to her car where they'll get a little hotter and heavier until she realizes he's trying to score right then and there. She'll politely put on the brakes, thank him for a good night and re-assure him she wants to see him again in the near future. As she's getting if her car, he's looking like, "WHAT THE FUCK?"
Just because a woman's into you and there's an OBVIOUS sexual attraction, doesn't mean she's obligated fuck you! Just because she may get a little out of pocket and grind on you isn't a promise to fuck. Her rubbing on you and allowing you to touch her sensually isn't a physical contract, signed in a spermicidal lubricant that you're going to be getting some ass that night. So because she didn't go home with you that night, you call her a tease and say, "Fuck it," I'm not calling her ass, she's a tease." For all you know she WANTED to invite you back to her place, but she had to work early the next morning and stayed out far past her expectation because she was into you. She didn't want you to get the wrong idea about her if she gave it up on the first night. She probably went home, jumped in the cold shower, and played with herself until she had one of the biggest orgasms of her adult life. Maybe her apartment was messy after a long week, and she wanted to clean it before you came over. Whatever the reason was, the fact you couldn't fuck THAT night got you so pissed off; you shit yourself of a great night in the future. Good job, asshat!
The reason more women don't show their physical or sensual interest is that we're fucking stupid. We're incapable of just enjoying what's going on right at that moment and taking things organically. More women would enjoy being expressive with their sexuality, but they can't because men are always focused on the second option; instead of taking it for what it is, they slam blinders on their heads like fucking racehorses and focus on nothing else but the finish line.
On the other hand, men have it just as bad. He can't express HIS attraction to a woman he's met without HER thinking all he's trying to do is fuck. Just like his female counterpart, all he's trying to do is show his sensual interest in her. So many men have fucked it up for him in the past, even the slightest intimate contact will have her slamming on the brakes and pushing him off, thinking he's trying to get something started she's not ready to give into. True, more men go out, looking for sexual/physical interaction, but not all of them. Women harp about not being compared to what some other women do or did; it's about time to practice what's preached.
Teasing and flirting. Is it worth it? Does it make people want or desire each other more? Does it add mystery and spice to a situation? Is it a turn on? An aphrodisiac? Or is it just a fucking game people play when they don't have the nerve to be a fucking adult. Approach someone like an adult, introduce yourself and say, "My name is _____, and I'd like to spend some time getting to know you, can I sit down?
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
May 5, 2019
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In the days of pop culture, things have taken a funky turn when it comes to how men and women interact with each other. We've come to a time where certain things that should be expected are so surprising to others. We may be past petticoats and curtsies, high tea and foxhunts, but there still are things men should do and be doing. These things should've been taught at an early age. Unfortunately, men are more absent in the home now than ever before. When we were growing up, we weren't exposed to certain habits and behaviors. Young boys are growing up now without this knowledge, and they won't have it to pass on to their children.
There's nothing magical or unreasonable about any of the normal gestures or behaviors; most are just unselfish, common considerations and practices that should make sense to most men. The sad truth is men have decided not to adopt these practices, even when introduced to them; at least not unless they're getting something in return. It's both sad and ridiculous that things are so unfamiliar to women they have to point them out and voice their surprise, or they see them as habits to be recognized and praised. It's bullshit that actions such as opening a car door or pulling out a woman's chair are something for her to actually be impressed by. As men, we should fucking embarrassed and ashamed of ourselves that it's come to that.
You can't put all the blame on men though. If women required more, men would step up or walk away. They have absolutely no reason to accept the task of being better or treating women better. Women have accepted what's being offered to them because they don't want to be alone. They're afraid to require more because they want that hot guy and he's not going to change his game just for her. If she can't either deal with it, he'll find someone else to settle for his scraps. Some women don't believe they deserve anything more. They look in the mirror and don't like what they see, so they don't think anyone else will either; they take what's offered to them. They don't know any better. Like young men, they were never taught; as young women, they've never been experienced to the smaller things, so how could they know what they're missing out on?
- OPENING THE DOOR. Regardless of it's your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, or someone you just met. No matter the capacity, no matter who's driving, open the fucking door! Even if you're both already in the car and you've reached your destination, get your ass out and open the door!
- PULLING OUT CHAIR. In addition, you DON'T SIT UNTIL SHE SITS FIRST.
- HOLD HER HAND. Don't be a dick and act like you're not together so that you check out that skank on the other side of the room.
- WALKING CLOSER TO THE STREET OR FLOW OF TRAFFIC. Considering there may be a size/strength difference between you and the woman you're with, do you think she'll be able to push you out of the way of oncoming traffic if the need arises? If you're walking in a parking lot, the two of you should be walking closer to, but not directly in the center of the aisle, so you can have both sides in plain view, watching for vehicles coming out of spaces.
- WALKING HER TO HER CAR. Just because the date didn't go as planned, or you're pissed because you aren't getting pussy is no reason to not walk a lady to her car. When you open her door, CHECK THE BACK SEAT before letting her get in.
- LOADING THE GROCERIES INTO THE CAR. You're sitting in the car and your wife, sister, girlfriend, or mom is loading the groceries. Someone walks up and takes her at knifepoint to rob, hurt, or rape her. Or just the fact that you're standing there, hands in your pockets or texting, watching them load the damn groceries.
- PUT YOUR ARM ACROSS HER BODY to help avoid her possibly hitting the dashboard if you're driving and suddenly have to brake.
- GET OUT THE CAR AND PUMP THE GAS! I see guys all the time, sitting in the car, playing on their fucking phone or with the radio, while the woman pumps the gas. Especially young teenagers. Moms, this is YOUR responsibility to tell that little fucker to get out and pump the gas.
ACTUALLY, ASK FOR A DATE VIA PHONE CALL. Especially if it's a first date, one of the most inconsiderate and vaguely rude things to do is ask for a date by text.
- CHECK IN WITH HER LIFEGUARD. When you're on a date, Most women have a "Lifeguard" that one person she told where she was going and who she was going with or meeting. There's nothing wrong with asking her if she needs to check in.
- CALL OR TEXT IF YOU'RE RUNNING LATE. Don't just, "Get there as quick as you can."
- DON'T START EATING UNTIL SHE HAS HER FOOD TOO! That should be a no-brainer. Apparently not, because I have to mention it.
- CHEW WITH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CLOSED! Enough said!
- CALL OR TEXT, THANKING HER FOR A NICE TIME. Or 1st meeting if it applies; even if the night/date didn't go as planned.
- CHECK HER SHOES AGAINST THE TERRAIN. You don't want her to fall while walking, so be wary of walking through rocks, etc. if she's wearing heels.
- When at the gym, take the time to ASK A WOMAN IF SHE'S COMFORTABLE WITH YOU BEING BEHIND HER. Some guys in the gym are just ass-watching, eye-fucking perverts who enjoy working out behind women, to check out their ass through their barely see-through stretchy pants.
- DON'T TAKE CALLS, ANSWER UNIMPORTANT TEXTS, OR CHECK SPORTS SCORES. You're telling your date her company is less important than who's winning the game.
- When it comes to sex when you're finished. BRING HER A WASHCLOTH. You want to wash up; so why wouldn't she?
- INSIST ON PROTECTION! We realize primal attraction and chemistry may make this pretty hard, but try to remain vigilant and steadfast in this requirement. She'll thank and appreciate you for it. Keep condoms in your car. One night of fun could result in an 18-year responsibility or that gift that keeps on giving.
- ASK FOR/OFFER TO TAKE AN STD TEST. No DECENT woman will be offended by this. She'll appreciate the thought of you wanting to make sure the both of you are safe before starting a physical relationship.
- MAKE HER BED. While she's getting ready for work.
- You can't miss your lady and appreciate her being around if she's never away from you, so CALL HER FRIENDS TO TAKE HER OUT.
- REMEMBERING SPECIAL DATES. Not just anniversaries, but celebrate when you first met, first date, etc.
- SHOWING SENSUALITY AND INTIMACY WITHOUT BEING SEXUAL. You don't have to grope her to show her you're attracted you her physically.
- HANDMADE PRESENTS. Not just for holidays. "Just because" gifts are a winner every time.
- When you're out for the night, and you come across a woman you're interested in. ASK TO SIT DOWN AND JOIN HER. Instead of just doing it. If she's with her friends and one of them is out on the dance floor or in the bathroom; when she comes back, GET THE FUCK UP!
- INTRODUCE YOURSELF AND INCLUDE HER FRIENDS IN THE CONVERSATION. If you're out dancing, ASK HER FRIEND TO DANCE. Don't make her feel like an instant third wheel or speed bump.
- ASK MORE THAN JUST FILLER QUESTIONS. Favorite color? Lucky number? Food? Her Sign? Ask her some shit that actually shows your level of interest in getting to know her, instead of small talk to gauge how drunk she is or how probable having sex with her is.
- KEEP HER DRESS, SKIRT, OR TOP PULLED DOWN. Depending on what she's wearing (Dress, skirt, fitted top, etc.) It has the potential to ride up naturally.
- WALK HER TO BACK TO HER SEAT. After a dance, don't just run in the other direction because you didn't hit it off, or you're trying to catch up with the woman who was eye-fucking you while you were dancing.
- ASK HER/HER FRIENDS FOR 1 ON 1 TIME. Don't just try to segregate her from her friends right away or without letting them know what's going on. That's why interacting with them is also important; so they have a decent impression of you and would be more comfortable if the 2 of you went out to the patio to enjoy a drink and a quieter atmosphere for conversation.
- If you're walking to your car and someone approaches, especially someone asking for money, PUT YOURSELF BETWEEN THAT PERSON AND THAT WOMAN. Or STOP AND PUT HER BEHIND YOU.
- CORRECTING HER INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR. Men are so worried about running off pussy, letting a woman emasculate or humiliate you publicly makes a man look like a heavily powdered, fresh linen-scented, sun-dried bitch! Letting a woman approach you and pull you by your clothes to where she wants you to go. Or using her finger to motion you to come to her like you're a child. They think just because you're a man; EVERY man wants them pawing like they are male strippers.
As grown men, we should be ashamed of ourselves that these habits are new and unheard of by women. It's even worse that they're so out of normal circulation, women find it necessary to recognize and point them out to those who actually practice them regularly. Not only point them out but to be so surprised and impressed by them, it becomes a source of conversation for her and her friends the next day. As husbands, fathers, brothers, and significant others you should feel like shit, knowing your sisters, and daughters have men who behave this way; because that's how YOU treat your wife; their mother.
We'll spend hours upon hours a week, playing video games, helping our young men improve their ball-handling skills, passing or blocking game, or preparing them for wrestling tryouts, but not how to treat your wife, his sister, or his girlfriend. Mothers should feel just as bad for not teaching their daughters at a young age to require the basics from her brothers, husbands or any man in her life. I've written before about people being themselves & not changing, just to make someone happy, and I stand by that belief. If it isn't for you, it just isn't. And that's fine. Don't fake it, just be you.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
April 28, 2019
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They say the only stupid questions are the ones you don't ask; that's a lie. People ask stupid fucking questions all the fucking time. Not only do people ask questions that are just plain stupid, but they're also irrelevant to the situation at hand. People ask questions that don't even matter in the grand scheme of things. A man meets a woman in a bar and makes a move. She thanks him for his flattering approach and politely states she's involved. Instead of accepting her response and walking away, his next question is, "Where is he?" or, "Is he here?" What the fuck does THAT matter? She told you she's unavailable. It's absolutely none of your fucking business where he is, JACKASS!
The risk and courage it takes to approach someone you don't know and try to initiate an interest or chemistry are understandable, but people have such a hard time accepting rejection, even if it's for a noble reason. "Are you having a good time tonight?" Your answer doesn't really matter. They could honestly give a fuck how your night has been until the time they walked up. The object of your interest could be married or in a relationship. You could be the wrong gender for their preference. They may not date someone of a different race or ethnicity. Hell, they may not be interested in someone of their own ethnicity. Whatever the reason is, it's THEIR decision. There's no obligation to rationalize or explain their reason for not being interested. Asking someone why you can't have their phone number or vice-versa is none of your fucking business; the reason doesn't matter. The answer was NO. Accept it and go away.
If someone declines your offer for a drink, it's because they don't want to give you the wrong impression, they feel it's disrespectful to their significant other. Or they just may not drink. "If you don't drink, why are you at the club?" Because they like to dance, they like music, they're related to or friends with entertainment. They enjoy the atmosphere. Either way, again, it doesn't matter why they're there. Accept it and walk away. "Am I single?/Why am I single?" Do you REALLY care? Are you really interested in the truth? Or is it something you just ask out of habit? What do you REALLY expect to hear? Do they have a massive antibiotic-resistant strain of genital warts? Are they bat-shit crazy jealous and possessive? Do they have a legion's worth of multiple psychotic personalities? Or it could be as simple as they CHOOSE to be single. Whatever the reason, again, it doesn't matter. Accept it and go away.
"How does this look on me?" Another stupid fucking question. You already know the answer; otherwise, you wouldn't have asked. "Do you think I'm fat? Do you think I need to start working out? Does the truth really matter to you? What would be your reaction if the answer suddenly turned to, "Yes babe, you need to work out, you've put on a few pounds; that's why we're not fucking like we used to." or, "That outfit makes your muffin-top stand out more than usual." I'm sure your man wants to hear the reason you don't suck his dick anymore is that your head and neck muscles aren't strong enough and can't support holding his nasty, sweaty gut on your forehead while you bob on his shit. He REALLY wants to know the reason you don't get on top and ride him anymore is that his belly pushes you farther and farther off his dick every time you rock back and forth, and he keeps popping out of you. Every man wants to hear how your lower back gets rubbed raw from his sweaty belly fat sliding back and forth across what used to be your tramp stamp.
"Are you done eating that?" I fucking guess so, you greedy fuck. Just by asking, you already have it set in your mind you've finished your meal, you're still hungry, and now you've set your sights on my plate. Essentially, it doesn't matter if I was done or not; the decision was made for me by you.
"Does this smell bad?" Whether SHE'S asking about her cooking or her pussy; HIS cooking or his balls, the initial response will pretty much be the same. "Get that shit out my face!" The question is whether or not they're brave enough to answer out loud or to themselves. Either way, the truth doesn't matter. The truth isn't even the goal. What the person WANTS to hear is the only important thing. Why the fuck would you shove a container of milk past it's the date in someone's face and ask them to smell if it's bad or not, especially since YOU wouldn't do it?" Be lucky they don't pour that shit all over your face and clothes with a big, fat, "OOPS!"
At the gym, don't walk up, asking how many sets I have left on a piece of equipment. Does it really fucking matter? I could have 6, 3, or even just one left; I'm done when I'm done. Accept it and go away. "Asking somebody what they're, "On" in references to steroids or PED'S (Performance-Enhancing Drugs) is NOT a fucking compliment. Regardless, even if somebody WAS on anything, do you ACTUALLY think they'd tell you if they were? How much a person bench-presses is another anti-matter question
When it comes to online dating, asking someone if they've had any luck or if they've met anyone worthwhile. If they had, why the fuck would they STILL be online, looking? Think before you ask, you sound like a fucking moron. Normally, people can tell if you're genuinely interested in getting to know them, or if you're just making small talk, pretending you're interested in a deeper scale. "Tell me something you don't do well at all you wish you were better at?" This is another stupid fucking question. What if HIS response is, "Controlling my anger or drinking/drug addiction"? What if HER answer was, "Sucking dick"? "Have you ever had a one-night stand?" That's a guy's way of determining his chances of fucking you on the first night/first date and a woman's way of determining if you're trying to fuck her on the first night/first date. The Truth is, it really doesn't matter because she's smarter than she was the last time that shit happened and you have to accept it. Or go away.
"Why can't I meet someone like you" Every time I've ever been asked this question, it makes me want to give up my religion and slap the Carolina fuck out the person who asked that stupid shit. This is one of the absolute WORST insults someone can give another person. Loosely translated, "You're a great person, but you're either fat as fuck, ugly as fuck, boring as fuck, you probably CAN'T fuck, you're dumber than fuck, or just generally too fucked up for me to even consider fucking you for even a one-night!"
Cordial stupid fucking questions are the best. They allow the largest opportunity for the smart ass in all of us to show ourselves. "What did you do this weekend?" My answer doesn't matter, and they honestly could care less. "How are you today?" Trust me; your answer doesn't matter to them in the least bit; they could care less about how you are. "My Hemorrhoids are flaring up something awful." "I've had Sulphur butt/Acid ass all fucking day and it fucking burns every time I take a shit. It physically burns to wipe my asshole when I'm done. "I forgot to put on deodorant this morning." "I had no clean underwear in my drawer, so I had to go through the hamper and pick out a pair that had the most elasticity left in the waistband and the lightest brown streak." Then I had to deal with the irritation of them being wet from spraying fabric refresher in them.
Some things just don't matter; the reason's none of your business. Asking why someone may not be interested in you, want to get to know you, exchange numbers, etc. is irrelevant. The answer was NO. Asking someone if they're done using a particular item in a public setting is another stupid fucking gesture; they're done when they're done. If the answer is NO, the reason doesn't matter. Accept it and go away.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
April 22, 2019
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Click Here to Add a Title
Although religion is one of the few, "Off-limits" subjects on The Dark Truth, I've always been fascinated by the story of the "7" deadly sins and their specific punishments; Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Anger/Wrath, Envy, Pride. I've often wondered if and how they would or could relate to popular culture. Could they be applied to modern times? Do we still exhibit these biblical traits and if so, how? What about the individual penance or punishments for each offense?
LUST: Sexual desire. It can also refer to money, power or anything else seen as sinful.
A modern example of someone guilty of LUST would be a PLAYER; someone who uses people just for sex or to quench an insatiable desire. Lust also leads to cheating in relationships and marriages. Lust for money, power, and respect can also explain and drive the behavior of drug dealers, pimps, gang members, and other criminals.
Punishment for LUST, Covered In fire and brimstone. Its modern equivalent could be thought of an STD/STI. A symptom of both Syphilis and Gonorrhea is a burning sensation during urination.
GLUTTONY: Indulgence or consumption of anything to the point of waste.
A modern example. Hogging something to keep someone else from having it. Selfishness. Putting your impulses or interests ahead of the needy. Children are guilty of gluttony when they shove the last piece of cake in their mouths or cough/spit on food, to keep another sibling from having it. Adults display gluttony by consuming food or resources, to keep someone else from using it. Gluttony will cause a person to speed ahead of another driver on the freeway, to keep that person from being in front of them.
Punishment for GLUTTONY: Force-fed rats, toads, and snakes. Its modern equivalent could be loosely related to the accumulation of so much wasted food; there's the attraction of mice, rats, and other vermin to your home. Depending on where you live, these vermin WILL eventually also attract snakes that feed on these vermin. Another possibility is going broke from trying to buy so much you don't need; a person could be forced into homelessness, living and eating out of the same garbage cans as rats, etc.
GREED: The sin of desire. The pursuit of material possessions. Leads to theft and robbery, sometimes by means of violence.
A modern example of GREED would be the classic pyramid scheme. Buying a brand new car you'd have to make payments on, instead of buying a slightly older car outright is another. Greed is five people who'll risk getting absolutely NOTHING to win $5 million dollars, instead of each person taking $1 million and going home. Greed is buying a home you can barely afford because you believe you deserve it.
The punishment for GREED? To be boiled in oil. Is it a modern equivalent? In the pursuit of satisfying GREED, your bills and expenses take its toll on your income and you're forced into taking a second job, working the french fryer at the local fast-food joint. I do believe that's vegetable oil they use for those famous fries!
SLOTH: Laziness. Lack of motivation or drive. They are failing to do what a person SHOULD do.
Modern equivalent. Refusing to be the "Good Samaritan", as in refusing to be a witness to an accident or crime. Dodging responsibilities. Men not taking care of their kids. Living on welfare when they clearly don't need it. Those guilty of SLOTH will take holiday food baskets, but pick them up in brand new luxury cars.
Punishment for SLOTH is being thrown in a snake pit. Don't take financial responsibility for the kids you have. Get caught taking welfare illegally. You may find yourself in a modern pit called jail/prison, taking your bunkmate's, "Snake" where you don't want it!
WRATH: Feelings of anger and rage.
Modern equivalent? Hatred. Revenge. Impatience. Leads to murder. Also known as fury. Someone steps on your $200 sneakers and you want to fight. Someone bumped into you and didn't say excuse me. Your best friend slept with your spouse or significant other and you beat the shit out of them.
Punishment for WRATH/RAGE is live dismemberment. Kill someone out of anger or rage, rest assured, you're going to be separated from your family & friends. Your freedom. Consider it an EMOTIONAL dismemberment. The act of murder or violence may end up in you ACTUAL dismemberment, depending on who your rage was directed against.
ENVY: Desire to covet the status, abilities, traits and/or possessions of another. Jealousy. To deprive someone of what is theirs. Causes unhappiness and ungratefulness.
Modern examples of ENVY. Jealousy over your neighbors' new car or home remodel. Anger over a co-workers job promotion or raise. Intentionally sabotaging someone's relationship to have them to yourself. Lying on someone to make them look bad in order to make yourself look good. Taking, wanting, and desiring your best friend's wife or husband. ENVY can lead to infidelity, robbery, and kidnapping.
Punishment for ENVY is being placed in freezing water. Everyone who knows you already believes you've got, "Ice water in your veins" Burn enough bridges and you'll always be on your own, treading with your head barely above the water line; the fear of drowning always being a possibility. Mess around and cheat with the wrong person and you'll literally find yourself underwater, with cinderblocks tied to your ankles.
PRIDE: Incredible selfishness. Believing you're better, superior, or more important than anyone else. You take credit for the hard work of others. Insane self-image and refusing to admit or acknowledge limits, faults or mistakes. PRIDE to Rape. Also, known as Vanity.
Modern examples of PRIDE are those people who take all the credit for a team effort. They can't ask for help. They don't make mistakes, and they have no faults or shortcomings. Everything that goes wrong is someone else's fault. Prideful men can't take NO for an answer and that could lead to RAPE. A prideful woman will jump behind the wheel of her car and drive home, "Buzzed" Prideful people believe fast-food workers deserve $15/hour.
PRIDE punishment? Broken on the wheel. Alienate your coworkers by taking the credit for a team effort, and they'll leave you high and dry the next time you need their help if you can't admit your mistakes or faults. If you can't admit your faults or shortcomings, people will assume you can take on ANY project or task and when you can't, you'll see that big fucking wheel of failure roll right over your prideful ass. Not to mention, you rape someone and trust me when I tell you the inmates know what you're in for BEFORE you get to prison and they don't take kindly to rapists. They see that shit as that victim could've been their mom, sister, etc. and they WILL BREAK YOU!!
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
April 14, 2019
For 90% of people, it's extremely difficult to work with or interact with the same people regularly and not forge friendships during that time; such as with work, interests, and hobbies, etc. In the aspect of work, depending on the structure of your particular job, it's not uncommon to become friends with an immediate supervisor or someone of a higher level of responsibility or accountability than yourself. That remaining 10% or so avoid or refuse to subject themselves to that situation because they realize that at some point the line can and will get blurred or crossed between leadership and friendship and they know it can't and won't lead to anything but trouble. They prefer to keep business at work and friends at the door. The truth is that at some point, they're going to have to give one of their friends an assignment they may not agree with or want to do and will think just because they're friends, they can refuse the assignment, procrastinate, half-ass, or question why they were chosen, instead of someone else.
The same things can go on at home when a parent gives in to the idea and treat their children as equals, instead of re-enforcing the child-parent dynamic. No one says a parent can't be friends with their children, but in these times, parents are FAR too concerned with being friends with their children. Being the, "Cool" mom or dad has left a HUGE hole in how children behave now, as opposed to how we were raised back in the day. I believe it's important for children and parents to be able to relate to one another, as well interact when things aren't going well, or they don't see eye to eye, without confrontation. Still, an unwavering level of respect must also be enforced and understood. While some parents don't believe a child should be afraid of their parents, their definition and understanding on which type of fear I'm referring to is one bor and cultivated through respect discipline.
When discussing fear, I'm not talking about the type of fear that a child believes if he gets into trouble, his parents are to kick the shit of them, or chain them in the basement and let the rats have at them; but fear in relation to being punished within the confines of the offense. If I got smoking when I was a kid, my father would've made me smoke an ENTIRE carton until I threw up. If I were caught skipping school, he'd show up for every class and sit next to me, wearing the bummiest fucking thing he owned; and that was fucking humiliating.
My dad and I were friends. We knew we could ask each other and talk to each other about anything and not feel weird or uncomfortable about it. It was an open dialogue in our house. We could go to a game together and have a great time; I could go to a party, knowing I was underage and drink and I could call him, and he'd come to pick me up. Of course, I'd hear about it the next day, along with a punishment that suited what I did, but it was deserved. Where things have gone wrong in this day and time is where parents have allowed the lines of parent vs. child to become so intertwined with being so fucking modern, that children see themselves as being equal to their parents, which is complete bullshit.
How did we get here? Simple, Parents are so fucking focused on being cool. They don't want to deal with their kids after they get home from work, so they stop by the local fast food restaurant, drop $30-$40 on burgers, fries, and sodas. They shove that shit in their kids' faces and tell them to play video games. That's why your kids are fucking overweight because you'd rather sit YOUR fat ass on the couch and watch the game than to make sure they get some sort of regular exercise or eat healthily. Even if a home-cooked meal is prepared, everyone's sitting at the table with their fork in one hand, cellphone in the other, watching videos or texting. The family dynamic has gone to shit and replaced by technology.
We got here because parents don't see anything wrong with their 15-16 year old staying out until after midnight or 1-2 am. These daughters are going out the house, dressed in fucking booty shorts or men's boxer shorts, rolled at the waist to make them even shorter. There's absolutely NO FUCKING REASON a 14-year-old should be wearing thong underwear or padded/push-up bras because you remember how shitty you felt when you were 14, you had no cleavage to show and boys made fun of you. These kids don't have jobs or money to pay for these things, so you're either giving them money, or your stupid ass is buying that shit for them, but will want to shotgun the first 25-year old you find out that's fucking your daughter, even when she admits she lied to him about how old she was.
We're here because you allow your children to be online unsupervised and unchecked. Watching and sharing questionable shit; from your 10-year-old son watching porn to your 15-year-old daughter sharing nude photos of herself to her boyfriend; little does she know he's shared them with everyone on the football team. Now you have pictures of your daughter in her underwear or naked out in cyberspace. Your kids are being stalked by online predators, pretending to be their age and arranging meetings or inviting them to parties where they're kidnapped, raped, or killed. They share personal information without the thought of home invasion and robbery. Bullying. Parents expect their children to drive without texting. They're walking across the parking lot to their car at night, glued to their phone; they never noticed the van parked next to them until someone grabs and pulls them inside, or your little ones running into people because his face is glued to that fucking screen.
Children see themselves as your equal because you allow them to call you by your first name. They're allowed to talk back, and you excuse it by saying they're just, "Growing up" Your kids are spoiled; they don't pay any part of their car insurance, registration, clothes, or even expected to pitch in when they have a job. Hell, you even pay for their cell phones. You allow your children to act too fucking grown. My dad wished I would come to him and accuse him of not, "respecting my privacy or freedom" You're not respecting their personal space. You want privacy, move the fuck out, get a job, and pay your fucking bills. As long as you live in your parents' home, and they're paying for that roof over your head, you have no fucking privacy. Not in your room, your computer, cellphone, NOTHING!
Your kids feel equal to you because they have no restrictions; they have no boundaries. They're too fucking entitled. You allow your teenagers to sit and converse among adults when they're talking as if they have the life experience to contribute something of value to the conversation. You treat them as equal. Therefore, they behave in kind. Then when they get out of pocket, you want to try to reel them in and teach them respect. Some parents are afraid of their children; that they'll hurt them in their sleep because they won't buy something they want, or took away their video game system for bad behavior.
You allow your young children to hit/kick you when they don't get their way, and you use not getting fast food for dinner as a punishment. You make threats you don't keep. You buy their allegiance with candy, junk food, toys, cars, whatever they want, as long as they like YOU better than your ex-wife or ex-husband. You don't' want to be the bad guy. Your kids don't respect you. They're your equal because you allow them to drink, smoke pot, and have sex under your roof and because you don't want your daughter sucking dick in a car or your son fucking his girlfriend behind a dumpster, instead of keeping their ass at home or requiring your kids to be home at a decent hour. Letting them be themselves means more to you than being a parent. You can be friends with your children, but equals? You're a fucking idiot; that's why your kids are fucked up now. They have no role models or models of authority. You're nothing more than the FRIEND that gave birth to them.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
April 7, 2019
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B&B: No, it doesn't stand for bed and breakfast; it stands for something a hell of a lot worse: the bully and the bullied. The sad truth is most kids won't admit they're being bullied, even if asked. Out of fear, embarrassment, or whatever, we're at a point where bullying has gone WAY overboard. Add in social media and cyberbullying, this situation has reached peaks never before heard of in the history of our society. How bullying is being dealt with is even more frightening.
How can you tell if your child's being bullied? They make excuses to not go to school or participate in normal activities. Their grades decline. They suddenly ask for extra money, or they come home from school starving as if they haven't eaten all damn day. They wait until they get home to use the bathroom. Bed wetting. Torn clothes or bruises. Nightmares. Smaller children are more scared than normal; they become relentlessly clingy. Older kids will be depressed or project outbursts of violence or frustration for little or no reason. They're always sad and withdrawn — missing possessions; phone, clothes, shoes, toys, jewelry, etc.
Another truth: if you're unaware of the fact your child's a bully, you're either a bully yourself, or you're a shitty fucking parent; there's no other way to say it. If you're even half as involved with your child's life as a parent should be, you can tell if your child's a bully. If they're picking on their younger siblings, that should be your first clue your little asshole's a bully. Violent outbursts when they don't get their way. Constant fighting/yelling. Their friends have stopped coming around, or they spend more time alone than before. It may even be as apparent as your child's school contacting you about problems interacting with other children.
Bullies may see themselves as physically unattractive. The reverse side of this shitty coin is the bully may see themselves as being so attractive, others who don't measure up to their standard deserve to be picked on. In a warped frame of mind, some bullies believe picking on someone else may make them appear more attractive. Jealousy also plays a part; someone may bully another person because they feel inferior by comparison. Bullies choose their victims based on people they know won't fight back.
Why do kids find it necessary to bully? Guys are more physical when it comes to being a bully. Boys pick on others to get their way. For whatever reason, they can't find the words or have issues communicating any other way. They feel as if they have no voice otherwise. They feel as if the only time they're noticed is when they're doing something wrong; they figure negative attention is better than no attention at all, so they pattern their behavior with that rationalization. Poor self-image and self-esteem are another, no matter how much they try to hide it. They're being bullied at home by older siblings or abused by their parents, either physically or mentally. The possibility of sexual abuse may also be a contributing reason. Insecurity: They could be confused about their sexuality or gender orientation/preference and use bullying as a shield to avoid letting on they may be gay or bisexual. Not being good at sports or anything else that may be viewed as, "Guy stuff" will result in being bullied. Not meeting the standard the bully has set about what or how he thinks is acceptable; for example, he'll pick on others who may not have name brand clothes or shoes, doesn't drink or smoke (cigarettes or pot), have sex or be a member of a team.
Eventually, guys evolve out of being bullies faster and more frequently than girls as they get older. Girls/women continue bullying into adulthood. females bully each other because they feel their popularity may be in jeopardy. They'll bully another female, thinking the object of their affection may be interested in someone else. Revenge or retaliation is another reason. Females will pick on other females who they feel are inferior to them. Girls will bully each other based on physical reasons. Not being pretty enough. Overweight. Having reached puberty too late or too soon. Financial or social/economic standing. Sexual preference.
Bullying in the workplace is more common than sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Women will bully each other in a different but equal light, but for the same conceptual reasons as if they were still teenage girls. Women will see each other as a threat to their professional standing or advancement. They'll lie and gossip on each other to either get ahead or to keep someone else from doing so. They'll spread rumors about who's fucking who to justify why they were passed over for a promotion. Women will befriend another woman and use everything she was told against her. Backstabbing. Hostile body language. Women will go as far as to influence other women to alienate and act shitty to another woman in fear of being facing the wrath of the bully.
Bullies come in 2 main forms for guys, 3 for women.
- THE AGGRESSOR. The guy that beats people up for the hell of it or uses the threat of physical violence. Women will also fight to establish her dominance, but more time than not, she'll resort to extreme and constant verbal abuse.
- THE PAY IT FORWARD BULLY. Guys justify it by calling it, "Hazing" to make it sound acceptable. Team sports. Fraternities. Cliques. Having to do the worst jobs in the company before being allowed to do the actual job you were hired to do. The thought behind the PIF bully is, "If I had to go through it, so do you."
- The 2-FACED BITCH. Specifically for women. She's insensitive. She'll smile to your face, and shit talks you from behind. She'll convince others you aren't worth shit and force others to exclude you, no matter how much they may like you as a person. They'll say you're doing a good job, and tell the big bosses you can't carry your weight. She'll set you up for failure as much as she can. The goal? to get you fired or make you quit.
Cyberbullying has become a hot-button issue over the past few years. Instead of passing notes, talking trash, and sharing secrets about one another, social media is the newest weapon; the replacement to the fist. Camera phones and video is the new way to spread negativity. Text messaging and screenshots have made backstabbing a hell of a lot easier. The wrong picture of the wrong person, doing the wrong thing is a great way to singled out to be bullied online. One text message in the right/wrong hands can cut as easy and deeper than a katana blade. Sure, getting beat up sucks, but wounds will heal; once something's out on the internet, it's there for life.
We can speculate the reasons why bullies exist from now until the end of time, but the truth is that it's unacceptable in ANY way, shape, or form. Personally, I believe if someone has a pattern of being a bully and they cross paths with the wrong person, resulting in a monkey-fuck ass stomping within an inch of their life, so be it. Their parents shouldn't be able to say a fucking thing about it. However, I can't and will not condone a reaction like that, nor am I advising or telling anyone to react that way, because it's wrong AND illegal. Let me say it again. If you're being bullied, DO NOT react or attempt to return their violence with violence, seek out the nearest trusted adult. If you or someone else is a victim of bullying, I encourage you to contact STOPBULLYING.GOV or call (949)-212-2246.
Dark Truth
Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
An ongoing series of Dark Truth
March 24, 2019
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Click Here to Add a Title
Sex may not be the most important aspect of a relationship, but it's a pretty damn pivotal one. Dry spells are a part of every relationship; not every couple is in the mood at the same time. As we get older and become more comfortable with one other, this expected from time to time. There's no reason to think there's anything's wrong if you and your partner haven't had sex in a week or so. Once you've hit that two weeks or a one month mark, that maybe the time when you need to sit down and ask, "What the fuck?" The truth is the longer you go without it, the more awkward that first time back will be. One or both of will ask yourself what was it that made you go so long without and you'll start to over-analyze the situation.
Medical reasons. There's a laundry list of medical issues that result in loss of sex drive between 2 people, too many to get into. Stress. Depression. Age. Inability to perform. An unplanned or unwanted pregnancy could be a reason as well. Perhaps one person was involved in an accident that affected their ability to engage in sexual activity. Or something worse, like a sexual assault, could halt or strain a physical relationship. These are uncontrollable reasons to where life just happens. It's a shitty roll of the dice, but there's nothing that can be done about those situations; they are what they are.
Excluding those, there's a shitload of reasons couples stop having sex. Both men and women contribute equally to their loss of spark, while others are specific to each partner. As a team, couples allow their bullshit to spill from other sources into the bedroom. They argue about other shit, and they become mad at each other. When a couple has been together for a while, the chances of falling into a routine is extremely high.
She is waiting until the kids go to bed. Light kissing and touching, maybe a little dirty talk; the same dirty talk they've been using for the entire length of their relationship. She gives him head; he rubs her until she's wet. She climbs on top and rides him for a few minute