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Long time lurker, first time poster. Sorry for the length, but I figured that my first post should go all out. Skip to the ******* to get straight to what you presumably came for.
My wife and I have been together for 4 years, married for 2. We have an insanely active sex life, in which basically anything we want to try, the other us up for (yay healthy discussions). We know what each other likes, what's off limits, etc. I led off this way to say that, despite all this, it took me 4 years to realize that combining alcohol and weed turns my wife into what can only be described as a no-holds-barred sexual freak.
Like all of us, we have been going slightly insane during the pandemic, and finally were relieved to book and take a tropical island vacation for our anniversary (all-inclusives are always worse than you think they are). The first few days followed the same script: wake up, drink, lay in the sun, drink, eat, fuck, sleep.
The formula changed the third night (our actual anniversary night). The place we stayed at had the option of renting canopies with king beds on the beach overlooking the ocean (the canopies had semi-translucent drapes around 3 sides of them, so when they were drawn you could see silhouettes of who is inside). We booked a wine and cheese plate ordeal at one of the canopies that lasted for two hours at sunset. Since we were just getting home from the boat and were already about 30 mins late, I ran to check into the canopy while my wife freshened up. I brought along a joint we picked up along the way.
My wife has zero problems with showing off her body, and has always dressed in things that were incredibly revealing without going overboard and looking like a stripper, and tonight was no different. She showed up to the canopy wearing a very low cut top that accentuated her cleavage paired with a tiny skirt that left little to the imagination. We ate a little of what can only be described as "sweaty cheese" and treated ourselves to a surprisingly good bottle of champagne. When then shared the joint before I headed to the ocean (which basically was only 30 feet away) to take a picture of the sunset.
When I got back (2 minutes later), I saw that my wife had pulled the canopy sides around so now the only way you could fully see in was if you went to the ocean and turned around. I thought it was to give the couple who was dining on the beach about 25 yards away some privacy, but I was dead wrong. She grabbed me and thrust her tongue into my mouth harder and more aggressively than she had ever done, which sends me crazy because I love when she takes control.
I reached down and grabbed her ass and pulled our hips together, as she moaned loudly into my mouth. Her hands were now rubbing my cock through my jeans, which was already as hard as it may have ever been. I pulled her thong aside and tried to rub her clit with two fingers, but she was already so soaking wet that my fingers just slipped inside, which caused her to squeal and kiss me harder.
She then laid down on the bed, pulled my cock through my fly, and started giving me the most enthusiastic blowjob I've ever had. She was never one to really deep throat, but I suppose the 4 hours of rum, 1 bottle and champagne, and half a joint got rid of most of her gag reflex. She took my entire cock down her throat, slurping loudly as she moved her head back and forth.
I reached my limit pretty quickly, and when I told her I was on the verge of cumming, she told me she wanted to watch me finish myself off. With that, she swung around so that her head was at the foot of the bed and her feet were facing me as she opened her legs, pulled her panties to one side, and began to finger herself with one hand while grabbing her tits with the other.
The sight of her doing that combined with the loud sounds that her wet pussy was making and her uncontrollable moaning pushed me over the edge. I shimmied over to her and put my cock in her mouth a second before I came hard. She looked me in the eyes and swallowed every drop (she had never done that). Rearranging herself, she gave a little laugh and a wink, kissed me hard, and said that there was more to come after dinner.
After dinner, we hurried back to our room like horny teenagers. She told me to go outside on the balcony and sit down, while she went to the bathroom and poured another drink. When I heard the sliding door open a few minutes later, I turned and gasped. My wife walked out in the full Catholic schoolgirl outfit, with a white top that was tied together under her breasts, a red plaid "skirt" that barely covered half her ass, and white thigh high stockings.
Without saying a word, she pushed me down on one of the chairs, took my pants off, and got on her knees in between my legs. She gave me another blowjob, this one entirely different than the one earlier. She slowly swirled the tip of my cock in her mouth, barely putting half of it in before taking it out and licking slowly up and down the entire shaft. She moved her head lower and began gently licking, and then sucking, on my balls, all while maintaining the sexiest eye contact I'd ever seen. She licked the area between my balls and my ass while giving me a handjob. She came back up and made sure the tip of my cock was covered in her spit.
After a few minutes of this, she stood up, turned around, and lowered herself onto my cock reverse-cowgirl style. My cock slipped in easily and the thought of getting fucked on a balcony where anyone could see caused her to get even wetter. She fucked me slowly while looking back at me, and if I hadn't come an hour earlier, I would have already been finished. Signaling that she wanted me to take over, she stood up and bent over, literally grabbing her ankles and spreading her legs.
I stood up and forcefully thrust my cock into her soaking pussy, grabbing her hips for leverage. Using her pussy juices, I wet my thumb and slowly circled her asshole with it, before inserting it gently, which was met with a loud scream of pleasure. I was on the verge of cumming when I hear my wife say to me "baby, I want your cum all over my face."
That was all it took, and as I pulled out of her, she turned around and got on her knees, untying her blouse as she did so. Her breasts popped out and she grabbed both of them hard while simultaneously thrusting her hips as if she was bouncing on an imaginary dildo. The sight of this was too much, and I unleashed rope after rope of cum on her face, neck, and tits.
As I plopped back down in exhaustion, she wiped her face, kissed my cheek, and told me to take as long as I needed as she was going to remove her makeup (along with the rest of my cum that covered her). I sat outside recuperating for about 20 minutes before heading back inside, where I was met with yet another surprise. My wife was lying on her back in bed, rubbing her clit with her vibrator that I had no idea she brought along, and said "its my turn now."
My refractory period is usually multiple hours, but when she got on her hands and knees to take my cock into her mouth for the third time that night while using the vibrator, my dick immediately sprang back to life. The only way my wife can come from sex is prone-bone, so I flipped her over on her stomach and straddled her ass. I grabbed the vibrator out of her hand and said "I'm going to use this as I fuck you," which elicited a loud moan. I slid my cock between her legs into her pussy, as I moved my hand and the vibrator under her so I could stimulate her clit.
Within minutes, she was bucking her ass against me and screaming into the pillow. I took this as a cue, adjusted my positioning a bit, and fucked her as hard as I ever had in my entire life. My right hand was working the vibrator, while my left was pushing her ass so far into the bed that I almost pushed her through it. 30 seconds later, she had a body-convulsing orgasm, shaking uncontrollably. Between moans and gasps, I hear her barely make out the words "Cum on my ass."
She reached behind her, grabbed her ass cheeks, and spread them wide. I happily obliged, coating her asshole with so much cum that it ran between her legs and over her pussy before pooling on the bed. I collapsed beside her, trying to understand what the actual fuck just happened. She turned to me, smiled and said "I think we should smoke more often before fucking again." Who am I to disagree??
The post The time I figured out my wife loses all inhibitions when she smokes weed appeared first on Hot Indian Sex Stories | Hindi Sex Stories.


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It was a special day for Sean Cavanagh at Croke Park over the weekend.
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Michael and John Daly won out with Mountbellew-Moylough and the Salthill-Knocknacarra team managed by their father Val.
Bernard and Alan Brogan matched their father's All-Ireland senior medal tally yesterday.
"This is my second trip with my father and I'm looking forward to going out."
His cousin made his debut for the Welsh side today.
The Brazilian legend was involved in all three goals.
Keith's club Clara defeated Brian's club O'Loughlin Gaels while Carrickshock finished level with Rower Inistioge.
O'Loughlin Gaels face Clara in an intriguing game next Saturday.
It's a night of celebrations for the Collins family and the Cratloe club.
Wexford can book their place in the All-Ireland hurling quarter-finals with a win over Waterford tomorrow.
Aoife Kelly will be a key figure for the Faithful against Clare in the Liberty Insurance All-Ireland camogie championship today.
The defender was in the champions' starting line-up against Ross County today.
The Noresiders line out in the senior camogie decider against Galway.
Because club is family right?
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The S&P 500 stole the show today with a 2% selloff, and the futures market isn't doing us any favors at the moment either.
In today's issue, we'll discuss the future for the S&P 500, DXY, BTC, and ETH. We'll then wrap things up with the WEAPON and KITTY GameFi tokens.
Let's go!
The S&P 500 has looked better. What started as a continuation of Tuesday's bounce from 4,240 ended with a 2% loss, which is accelerating after hours.
Stocks are still the number one risk assets so they tend to drag everything with them, including Bitcoin.
We'll see how Thursday pans out. Today's close either triggers more selling early tomorrow or we get a sharp bounce back above 4,240.
If we do see lower prices from the S&P into March, I'd keep a close eye on the 4,000 area. That's a key horizontal region that happens to line up with the bottom of a descending channel.
Resistance above 4,240, on the other hand, comes in around 4,400.
US Dollar Index (DXY)
The DXY is slightly higher today following a bloodbath in the stock market. That said, we aren't seeing the kind of rally from the US dollar to signal a full risk-off environment, at least not yet.
As you can tell, the chart is still in no man's land, which has been the case since November. At this point, we're just waiting to see if it breaks below 95.13 or above 97.50.
In terms of the crypto market and risk assets overall, a break lower from the DXY would be ideal as that would signal a willingness to risk capital from market participants.
Bitcoin (BTCUSDT)
Bitcoin broke out from the descending broadening wedge we've looked at over the past few days. It even came close to testing the $39,600 resistance area.
However, US stocks had other plans with the S&P 500 closing 2% down on the day. That dragged Bitcoin lower, negating the breakout earlier in the morning.
So for now, it's a matter of waiting to see if bulls can hold onto the $36,000 support area this week. Below that is $35,000.
As I've mentioned a few times this week, Bitcoin needs to get back above $39,600 on a daily closing basis to turn constructive again. So far, buyers haven't been able to do that.
Below the $35,000 region is the fourteen-month range low at $30,000. Alternatively, a daily close above $39,600 would open up $42,000 and $46,000.
Ethereum (ETHUSDT)
ETH is attempting to hold above $2,570 support. That's a minor level that came into play a few days ago.
However, the much bigger area for Ethereum lies between $2,800 and $2,900. It's going to take a daily close above that region to expose higher levels. ETH is on shaky ground until then.
A daily close below $2,570 would open up $2,300 while a close above $2,900 would expose $3,100.
It's a big day for the MEGAWEAPON project. Not only because the WEAPON token is up 22% today, but also that Certik is showing that the audit is 99% complete as of this morning.
That's significant as the audit and legal are the two things holding up staking. A 99% progress status on the audit tells me that it should wrap up any day now, which just leaves the green light from legal.
But the important thing here is that progress is being made on all fronts. I continue to think that staking will be the catalyst for a breakout from WEAPON, especially when you consider the 3% bonus.
Since December 23rd, 3% of the daily volume has been accruing for future stakers. That gets added to the normal 2% of daily volume once staking launches, which means at least two months of increased rewards. The best part is that those rewards will be paid out in ETH.
As for the chart, it did break below the trend line we had been watching for the last few weeks. However, the market is catching a nice bid from the $1.40 area.
If it can get above the $2 region in the coming days, the $3.50-$4 area is next, in my opinion.
I continue to like the WEAPON token higher in 2022 with a $10-$20 target at a minimum. That assumes staking is live and the full play-to-earn game is launched later this year.
Kitty Inu (KITTYUSD)
The kitty token has taken a beating in recent months. That's partly due to the team focusing on developing the Kitty Kart play-and-earn game, and also Bitcoin pulling back 50%.
However, the good news is that the beta release of the game launches this week! Not only that, but I'll be playing it first-hand this Friday. So I'm definitely looking forward to that!
I continue to think the token is undervalued with the project trading at a mere $8.7 million market cap. That's especially true when you consider that the beta launches this week.
The big catalyst for the kitty token in the coming months is no doubt a tier 1 central exchange listing. The team has had their eyes on it since launching, so once the token has utility they can move forward.
Most tokens that get listed on Coinbase or Binance don't sit below a $300-500 million market cap for long. So you can see the potential with this trading at an $8.7 million cap today.


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Mrs. Amaka Nzewi
Head, International
Mrs. Amaka Nzewi is an Associate of the Chartered Insurance Institute of Nigeria (1997) with over 20 years experience in the insurance industry. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Modern European Language from University of Lagos. She was the head of International Operations of Nigeria Reinsurance Corporation from 2009 – 2014, and afterwards, was in charge of Domestic Operations Group B for 4 years.
She served as the Financial Secretary of Lagos State Chapter of Chartered Insurance Institute of Nigeria and was a member of Image Committee of Nigeria Insurers Association. She also served as a member of the Membership Committee of Chartered Insurance Institute of Nigeria (CIIN).
She is currently the Head of International Operations.


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9 thoughts on "Chaos? Or Pattern?"
Interesting, Ramana. Not least because of an Indian (English speaking) perspective.
However, there are so many points in his talk (and yes, I did hijack the Angel's comp to listen to your clip) which do not chime with me. If the subject were a task set to me in class, and I had time to listen to it several times, jotting down notes, wouldn't I just love to do that, I'd put many an opposing point of view, and the odd agreement.
Chaos or pattern? Neither or both. To feed your beloved beast of synchronicity you will be pleased to know that, as I was listening to the talk, I noticed a little sticker on my dress (just above my right breast – irrelevant detail). We have many Indian shops round here, one I frequent a lot because they do outstanding fruit, herbs and vegetables at prices you wonder how British standard shops can justify their outrageous prices. The sticker (oval) golden and black, small, goes beautifully with the dress I am wearing today – golden), probably pealed off one of their divine peaches, reads: "he fruit of paradise, gog de magog, paradiesisches obst". You can't get much more "inclusive" than that, can you? Though I do come a little more expensive than three for a pound Sterling.
Ursula recently posted..Balls
I would say to have a garden like that it would be ADHD!
Grannymar recently posted..WAGE
Hi Rummy,
I agree that we can connect the dots in different ways. It is not static and keeps evolving – thus is the thought process.
"Lanes with negotiated boundaries" still look chaotic; above all, they feel chaotic.
A meal with negotiated boundaries doesn't not look nor feel chaotic though. How interesting is that?
I disagree that boundaries exclude diversity: my family is the sheer example of it.
This gentleman presents a very interesting theory however he is exclusive himself when he excludes India from the rest of the world (that sympathises with boundaries, rules, signs, behaviroul patterns etc). Now, I haven't been to India yet – I am working on it though – so I can't speak directly of its chaos, patterns or lack thereof; but I have been fortunate enough to be in Africa, that many view as chaotic, and I love its patterns and I love the fact that it is different from what I am used to.
Max Coutinho recently posted..The Indian Mujahideen & The Wahhabi Threat
interesting on so many levels.
i was raised with MUCH control. at home. at school. everything. everything had a 'time limit' a space limit . . . i mainly saw limits. i didn't see it so much as control.
some schools have open classrooms now. children sit anywhere they want to. they get up while the teacher is talking. they do whatever they want. i don't know if they are learning.
but since almost everything i ever learned in school turned out to be lies . . . yes. pretty much lies. i don't know what i think about it all.
30% illiteracy could make for some very interesting patterns.
i'm thinking that is the same rate of illiteracy for our country here. we just don't admit to it. LOL.
i like the way you serve your food!!!!
tammyj recently posted..life
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Section I – Sri Ramakrishna at Dakshineswar
Chapter One
The Kali Temple and garden
Sri Ramakrishna at Dakshineswar Kali Temple chandni (porch) and the twelve Shiva temples brick courtyard and the Vishnu temple Sri Sri Bhavatarini Mother Kali Nata Mandir (the concert room) the store, the pantry, the guest house and the place of sacrifice the office rooms Sri Ramakrishna's room Nahabat, Bakultala and Panchavati Jhautala, Beltala and Kuthi ghat for washing utensils, Gazitala, the main gate and the back gate Hanspukur, stable, cow house and flower garden the verandah of Sri Ramakrishna's room the 'Abode of Joy.'
It is Sunday today. The bhaktas are free, so they are coming in numbers to the Kali Temple in Dakshineswar to see the Paramahansa Deva (Sri Ramakrishna). The door is open to all. Thakur freely talks with all the visitors. Sadhus, paramahansas, Hindus, Christians, Brahmos, Shaktas[1], Vaishnavas[2], men and women all visit him. Blessed you are Rani Rasmani! It is because of your virtuous merit that such a beautiful temple has come up. Besides, there is such a living image! People are able to come here to meet and worship this great spiritual personality.
The chandni (porch) and the twelve Shiva temples
The Kali Temple is situated about five miles north of Calcutta. It is situated right upon the bank of the Ganga. Landing from the boat and climbing upon the broad staircase, one enters the Kali Temple as one faces east. It is at this very ghat that the Paramahansa Deva takes his bath. Just after the staircase is the chandni. Watchmen of the temple live there. Their cots, mango wood chests and one or two jugs etc. are lying about in that very chandni. When babus (gentlemen) of the neighbourhood come here to take their bath in the Ganga, some of them sit here and gossip as they take a massage of oil. The sadhus, fakirs, and Vaishnavas who come to take prasad[3] from the guest house, some of them await the bell of bhoga[4] in this very chandni. At times a Bhairavi (woman worshipper of the Mother) dressed in ochre-clothes and with a trident in her hand is seen seated at this very place. She too would go to the guest house at the right time. The chandni is exactly in the middle of the twelve Shiva temples out of them six temples are exactly to the north of the chandni, and six exactly to the south. People passing by in boats and seeing the twelve temples from a distance exclaim, 'That is the temple garden of Rani Rasmani.'
The brick courtyard and the Vishnu temple
There is a cemented brick courtyard to the east of the chandni and the twelve temples. In the middle of the courtyard, there are two temples facing each other. To the north is the temple of Radhakanta. Exactly to its south is the temple of Mother Kali. In the Radhakanta Temple, the idols of Radha and Krishna face west. One enters the temple through a flight of steps. The floor of the temple is paved with marble. In front of the temple, there is a chandelier hanging in the vestibule. It is not in use now; so it is protected by red linen covers. A watchman keeps a vigil. Canvas screens are provided, so that the deities do not feel inconvenience by the sun in the western sky during noon. Passages left open between the rows of the columns of the vestibules are covered by these screens. Towards the southeast corner of the vestibule, there is a pitcher of Ganga water. Near the threshold of the door of the temple is a vessel containing charanamrita[5]. Bhaktas come bow down before the deities and take some drops of this very charanamrita. Inside the temple are the images of Radha and Krishna on a raised seat. Sri Ramakrishna in the beginning was appointed as the priest of this very temple in 1857-1858.
Sri Sri Bhavatarini Mother Kali
In the southern temple is the beautiful stone image of Kali. The Mother is called Bhavatarini (the saviour of the world). The floor of the temple is paved with white and black marble. The raised platform is furnished with steps. On the platform there is a silver lotus with a thousand petals. On this lotus is Shiva lying down on His back with His head to the south and feet to the north. The image of Shiva is made of white marble. Upon His breast stands the stone image of this very beautiful three eyed Shyama Kali attired in a Banarasi sari and Her person decorated with jewels of many kinds. On Her lotus feet are nupur (tinkling anklets), gujari, panchem, paijeb, chutaki, red china rose and leaves of bel. The paijeb is used by the women of the West (Punjab and Utter Pradesh). It was put by Mathur Babu at the special desire of Sri Ramakrishna. The Mother's arms are adorned with bauti (broad bangles), tavij (armlet) etc. made of gold. The lower arm has bala, flowery bangle, and pounche. In the middle arm she has a kada made of a two and a half round sections, tavij and baju. The last is with a hanging pendant attached to it. Round Her neck She wears the golden chek, a necklace made of seven strings of pearls, another necklace of thirty two gold strings, a chain of stars and a golden garland made of human skulls. On her head She wears a crown and her ears are adorned with kanbala, kanpash, gold earrings, chandni (round golden ear) and golden fish. There is a nose ring on her nose with a pearl attached to it. The three-eyed Goddess holds a decapitated human head and a sword in both Her left hands. Both Her right hands offer the boon of fearlessness. Round Her waist She wears the garland of human arms as well as golden waist-chains of neem and kamar-patta. In the north-east corner of the temple is a unique bed. On it the Mother takes rest. On one side of the wall hangs a chanvar[6]. Bhagavan Sri Ramakrishna fanned the Mother so many times with this chanvar. Upon the platform on a lotus seat there is a silver glass with water in it. Below on the ground are rows of vessels that hold water for Shyama to drink. To the northwest of the lotus seat is a lion made of eight metals, and the image of iguana and a trident towards the east. Towards the southwest of the platform is a she-fox, to the south is a bull made of black stone and to the north-east is a goose. On one of the steps leading to the platform is the image of Narayana installed on a small silver throne. On one side of his is the image of Ramalala, the nick name of Ramachandra, made of eight metals obtained by the Paramahansa Deva from a holy man and also an emblem of Vaneshwar Shiva. There are images of other gods too. The Divine Mother stands with her face to the south. Exactly in front of Her, that is to the south of the platform, is installed a pitcher. After the puja, this mangal-ghat[7] is dubbed with vermilion, covered with various kinds of flowers and decorated with flower garlands. On one side of the wall is a pitcher made of copper, filled with water. The Mother would wash Her face. Above in the temple is a canopy, behind the image is hanging a piece of beautiful Benarasi cloth. There are silver columns on all the four sides of the platform. A very expensive canopy spreads over them. It adds to the beauty of the image. The temple is of medium size. Some of the gates of the vestibule are protected by strong doors. The guard sits near one of the doors. Near the threshold is a small a vessel with the holy charanamrita in it. The top of the temple is adorned with nine pinnacles. Four of the pinnacles are in the lowermost line, in the middle also are four and above them there is one pinnacle which is now broken. The Paramahansa Deva had performed puja in this shrine as well as in the shrine of Radhakanta.
The Nata Mandir (the Theatrical Hall)
In front of the Kali's shrine, that is to the south is a beautiful and spacious Nata Mandir. Over the Nata Mandir are Mahadeva, Nandi and Bhringi (latter two are attendants of Shiva). Before entering the Mother's temple, Sri Ramakrishna would fold his hands and bow to Sri Mahadeva as though he would be entering the temple after taking His permission. Two rows of very high columns stand north-south of the Nata Mandir with a roof over them. To the east and west of the row of the columns are two portions of the Nata Mandir. At the time of festival worship, especially on the Kali puja day, yatras (theatrical performances) are performed in the Nata Mandir. It was in the Nata Mandir that Mathur Babu, the son-in-law of Rasmani, carried out dhanyameru (the ceremony of mound of cereal) at the instruction of Sri Ramakrishna. It was here that Thakur Sri Ramakrishna worshipped Bhairavi in the presence of all.
Store, pantry, guest house and place of sacrifice
To the west of the square courtyard are the twelve Shiva temples and on the three other sides are single storeyed rooms. The rooms to the east include the store room, the room for keeping puris (fried bread), the room for the food offerings of Vishnu, the room for food offerings, the room for the food offerings for the Mother, the kitchen for the gods and goddesses and the guesthouse. If the guests and sadhus do not eat in the guesthouse, they have to go to the office of the steward of the temple. On receiving orders of the steward, the sadhus take rations from the store. To the south of the Nata Mandir is the place of sacrifice.
The food prepared for Vishnu's shrine is vegetarian. The kitchen for the food of Kali's shrine is different. In front of the kitchen, the maid servants cut fish with big sickles. On Amavasya (the dark night of the month), a goat is sacrificed. The offering of the food is over before noon. In the mean time the beggars, the sadhus and the guests take plates made of sal leaves from the guesthouse and sit down in rows. The brahmins are allotted a separate corner. The brahmins working here have different seats. The prasad for the steward is sent to his room. The babus of Jaun Bazaar (descendants of Rani Rasmani) stay in the Kuthi when they visit the temple. They have their prasad carried to them in the Kuthi.
Office rooms
In the row of rooms to the south of the courtyard are the office rooms and the residences of the officials. Here the steward and the clerks are always present. And the storekeeper, the maidservants, the men servants, priests, cooks, brahmin cooks, and gate keepers are always found walking in and out. Some of these rooms remain locked. They contain the property of the temple carpets, tents, etc. Some rooms of this row are utilized as storerooms on the birthday celebrations of the Paramahansa Deva. The cooking for the great festivity is done on the ground lying southwards.
There is a row of single storeyed rooms to the north of the courtyard. Right in middle is the main gate. As in the chandni, here too the gatekeepers keep a watch. Shoes have to be taken off before entering both the places.
Thakur Sri Ramakrishna's room
Right in the northwest corner of the courtyard, i.e. to the north of the twelve Shiva temples, is Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa Deva's room. Exactly to the west of the room is a semi-circular verandah. It was from here that Sri Ramakrishna often watched Ganga with his face towards the west. Next to this verandah there is a path. To its west is a flower garden and then the terrace along the side of which flows the pure sweet melodious water of the Ganga, the symbol of all pilgrimages.
Nahabat (the concert room), Bakultala and Panchavati
Right to the north of the Paramahansa Deva's room is a rectangular verandah. To its north is a garden path. Again to its north is a flower garden. Just beyond it is the Nahabat (the concert room). In the room below lived the revered mother of Sri Ramakrishna and later the Holy Mother. Next to Nahabat are the Bakultala and the Bakultala ghat. Here the women of the locality take their bath. It was at this very ghat that the venerable mother of the Paramahansa Deva had breathed her last with the lower half of her body immersed into the holy waters of the Ganga.
A little north to the Bakultala is Panchavati (a grove of five trees). It was at the foot of this Panchavati that the Paramahansa Deva practised many religious austerities. And he would often roam about here with his bhaktas. At times, deep at night, he would rise and come here. This grove is a collection of five trees the bata (Indian fig), the peepal, the neem, the amalaki and the bel. These were got planted by Thakur under his own care. Coming back from Vrindavan, he scattered here the holy dust of that place. Right to the east of Panchavati, Bhagavan Sri Ramakrishna had a thatched hut built and meditated so much upon the Lord and practised so many austerities here. This hut has now been turned into a brick-built room.
In the middle of the Panchavati is a bata tree. Along side is a peepal tree. Both these trees have joined each other and look like one. Being very ancient and having many holes within, this old tree has become the living place of many birds and animals. Below it is a brick-built circular platform with steps. Seated on the northwestern side of this platform, Bhagavan Sri Ramakrishna carried out many devotional exercises, and with a yearning he would call upon Bhagavan in the manner a cow cries for its calf. Now across the hallowed seat there has fallen a branch of the peepal tree, comrade of the bata tree. This branch has not completely broken away and continues partially to adhere to the parent tree. It seems that no great man worthy to sit on that platform has yet been born again.
Jhautala, Beltala and Kuthi
Going a little ahead towards north of the Panchavati is a railing made of iron wire. On the other side of the railing is the Jhautala. There are rows and rows of willow trees. Moving a little east from the Jhautala is the Beltala. Here too the Paramahansa Deva practised so many difficult austerities. Beyond the Jhautala and the Beltala is a high wall. Just to the north of it, is the Government Magazine.
Coming out of the main gate of the courtyard and going to the north one sees a two-storeyed Kuthi. Whenever Rani Rasmani and her son-in-law, Mathur Babu, and others visited the temple they used to put up at this Kuthi. During their lifetime, the Paramahansa Deva used to live in a western room on the ground floor of the Kuthi. A path from this room leads to the Bakultala ghat from where a splendid view of Ganga is visible.
Ghat for washing utensils, Gazitala and gates
Going towards the east on the path between the main gate of the courtyard and the Kuthi, there is a fine tank with a specially built cemented ghat. Right to the east of Mother Kali's temple, this tank has a ghat that is used for washing utensils and a little away from the above path is another ghat. Near this ghat to the side of the path, there is a tree called Gazitala. Going a little farther to the east on this path there is another gate this is the main exit from the garden. People from Alam Bazaar or Calcutta visit the temple through this gate. People from Dakshineswar come in through the back gate. The Calcutta people usually enter the Kali Temple from the main gate. There too, a porter keeps a watch. When at midnight, the Paramahansa Deva used to return from Calcutta to the Kali Temple, the porter of this gate would open the lock. The Paramahansa Deva would call the porter to his room and give him puris, sweetmeats and other items of prasad offered to the gods.
Hanspukur, stable, cow house and flower garden
To the east of the Panchavati there is another tank called the Hanspukur (Goose tank). To the northeast corner of the tank are a stable and a cow house. To the east of the cow-house is the back gate. One goes to the village of Dakshineswar through this gate. The priests and the temple-officials who have brought their families and settled in Dakshineswar, they and their sons and daughters use this gate.
There is a pathway running from the southern extremity of the garden to the north up to the Bakultala and the Panchavati along the bank of the Ganga. This path runs with flower plants on both of its sides. And the path that runs east-west from the south of the Kuthi, too, has flower plants on both of its sides. From the Gazitala to the cow house, the stretch of land to the east of the Kuthi and the Hanspukur also has flower plants of different species, fruit-trees and another tank.
Very early in the morning when the eastern sky is taking a red hue, one can hear the sweet sounds of the morning arati and the morning music played on the shahnai. At this time they start plucking the flowers from Mother Kali's flower garden. On the bank of the Ganga in front of the Panchavati are trees of vilva and the flower plants of fragrant (pagoda flower). Sri Ramakrishna was very fond of tulip, madhavi (myrtle) and gulachi flowers. He brought madhavi creeper from Vrindavan dham and planted it here. On a part of the land that is to the east of the Hanspukur and the Kuthi are champak plants on the bank of the tank. At a little distance are plants of jhumka, hibiscus, roses and kanchan (gold flower). On the hedges grows the aparajita and close to it are jasmine and shafalika flowers. Alongside the western wall of the line of the twelve temples are the white oleander, the red oleander, the rose, the jasmine and the larger jasmine. At places there are thorn apple flowers used for the worship of Shiva. At intervals there is the tulasi (basil) growing on high brick-built platforms. To the south of the Nahabat are larger jasmine, jasmine, gardenia and rose. Not far from the brick-built ghat are padmakarvi (lotus oleander) and the cuckoo-eyed. Near the Paramahansa Deva's room are a couple of plants of cock spoon and close by are double jasmine, jasmine, gardenia, rose, tulip, white oleander, red oleander, double hibiscus and Chinese hibiscus.
At one time Sri Ramakrishna too used to gather flowers. One day he was plucking the leaves of the bel tree in front of the Panchavati. While plucking leaves of bel tree, a small portion of the bark of the tree came off. Then it seemed to him as if the one that lies within all things had received a severe pain. Thenceforward, he could no longer pluck the bel leaves. On another day, he was walking about to pluck flowers. Suddenly an unknown power made him aware that the various flower plants before him were but so many bouquets adoring the great image of Shiva that He was thus being worshipped night and day. Henceforth, he ceased to pluck flowers.
Verandah of Thakur Sri Ramakrishna's room
There is a verandah running to the east of Sri Ramakrishna's room. A wing of the verandah faces the courtyard, i.e. to the south. Sri Ramakrishna often sat with bhaktas in this verandah and talked to them about the Lord and sang songs with them of the name of God. The other wing of this eastern verandah faces the north. In this verandah bhaktas would come to him to celebrate his birthday with him and sing hymns with him. Moreover, at times, he would sit and partake of prasad with them here. It was also in this verandah that Keshab Chandra Sen would come to meet him and converse with him for long hours like a disciple. They would enjoy themselves and sit together to partake of popped rice, coconut, puri, sweets, etc. It was also here that Sri Ramakrishna had gone into samadhi at the sight of Narendra.
The Abode of Joy
The Kali Temple has become the Abode of Joy. Radhakanta, Bhavatarini and Mahadeva are daily worshipped here. Here offerings of worship are made and guests served. On one side stretches afar the sacred view of the Bhagirathi (the Ganga), on the other side there is a unique flower garden with flowers of variegated hues which charm with their overflowing fragrance and beauty. Then there is a god man intoxicated night and day with the love of the Lord. Here is the perennial festival of the ever joyful Mother. Musical notes always emerge from the Nahabat. Once music is played at early dawn at the time of the morning arati. After that at about nine o'clock when the worship starts. Then again at noon when after bhoga arati the Deities retire to rest. It is again played at four o'clock when they rise after their rest and take a wash. After this it is repeated at the time of evening arati. And last of all, at nine in the night, when after the evening offerings of food the deities go to bed, the music is heard from the Nahabat.
Chapter Two
The nectar of Thy story revives the parched soul of man. Poets (men of knowledge) praise it. It wipes away our sins. To hear it is in itself auspicious. It is pervasive, limitless and beautiful. Only those understand it who have been generous in their past lives.
Srimad Bhagavata, Skandha 10 , Sloka 9
The first meeting month of February 1882
The Kali Temple in Dakshineswar on the bank of the Ganga. The temple of the Mother Kali. Spring time, the month of February 1882. One day after the birthday of Thakur on Thursday, 23 February, Thakur went for a cruise on a steamer with Keshab Sen and Joseph Cook. It is a few days later. The evening shades are approaching. M. comes in Thakur Sri Ramakrishna's room. This is his first visit.
He sees a roomful of people, seated motionless and drinking the nectar of his words. Thakur is seated on the bedstead, his face towards the east. He is talking of Hari with a smiling face. The bhaktas are seated on the floor.
When does renunciation of karma take place?
M. looks in and stands speechless. He wonders as if it is Sukadeva talking of the story of the Lord and at that spot have gathered together all the places of pilgrimage. Or is it Sri Chaitanya sitting in the holy land of Puri singing the names and glories of Bhagavan (the beloved Lord) and seated before him are Ramananda, Swarup and other bhaktas! Says Thakur, "When just at the name of Hari or Rama your hair stand on end and tears flow from your eyes, know it for certain that sandhya[8] and other daily services will not be needed any more. And other daily services are over for you. You have then gained the right to give up karmas (work). Karmas, indeed, fall off on their own. In that state mere repetition of the name of Rama, or Hari, or Omkar[9] is enough." And he adds, "Sandhya ends in Gayatri[10] and Gayatri in Om."
M. has come here walking from garden to garden with Siddhu[11] from Barahnagar. It is Sunday, 26 February, 15th Falgun. It is holiday, so he has come out for a walk. A little earlier he was having a stroll in the garden of Prasanna Bannerji. It was there that Siddhu said, "There is a beautiful garden on the bank of the Ganga. Will you like to see it? A paramahansa lives there."
Entering the garden through the main gate, M. and Siddhu came direct to Sri Ramakrishna's room. M. stands speechless as he beholds. He thinks, "How charming is this place! How charming is this man! How sweet is his talk! I don't feel like leaving this place!" After a while he says to himself, "But let me once see where I have come! I will then come back and sit here."
As he comes out of the room with Siddhu, the sweet sound of arati[12] starts. Cymbals, bells and drums all begin to sound together. From the southern side of the garden musical notes emerge from the Nahabat. Floating over the bosom of the Bhagirathi (Ganga), the musical notes begin to merge somewhere far far away. The breeze of the spring is gentle and fragrant with the sweet odour of many a flower. Moonlight starts spreading. It seems as if preparations for the arati of deities are afoot all around. Witnessing arati in the twelve Shiva temples and in the temples of Radhakanta and Bhavatarini, M. is filled with supreme joy. Siddhu says, "This is Rasmani's temple. Here the gods are ministered everyday from morning till evening. Many holy guests and the poor come here."
Both of them wend their way through the grand brick quadrangle, as they emerge talking out of Bhavatarini temple and again reach in front of Sri Ramakrishna's room. Now they find that the door of the room is closed.
The incense has been burnt a little while before. M. is educated in English ways, he cannot enter the room all at once. Atthe door stands Vrinde (the maidservant). Asks M., "I say, is the sadhu maharaj (holy man) in the room now?"
Vrinde — Yes, he is inside the room.
M. — How long has he been here?
Vrinde — Oh! many many years.
M. — Well, does he read many books?
Vrinde — Oh dear, books or such like that! They are all on his tongue.
M. is fresh from college. He is all the more surprised to hear that Thakur Sri Ramakrishna does not read books at all.
M. — Well, perhaps he will now perform sandhya! Can we enter the room? Will you please tell him about us?
Vrinde — Why, go in my children. Go inside and sit in the room.
Thereupon they enter the room and see that no other person is there. Thakur Sri Ramakrishna is seated alone on the bedstead in the room. Incense is burning in the room and all the doors are closed. M. folds his hands to pay his obeisance as he enters the room. At the bidding of Thakur Sri Ramakrishna, M. and Siddhu take their seats on the floor. Thakur asks, "Where do you live? What do you do? What has brought you to Barahnagar?" etc. M. answers all his queries but he notices that in the course of conversation, Thakur lets his mind go to some other object on which he is meditating. Later, he heard that this is called bhava[13]. It is like a man sitting with a fishing rod in his hand to catch a fish. The fish comes and begins to bite at the bait. The float trembles. The man is now all attention. He grasps the rod and looks at the float with a concentrated mind. He talks to no one. Sri Ramakrishna's state is exactly like this. Later, he hears and sees that Thakur goes into this state after sandhya (evening). At times, he loses all external consciousness.
M. — You would now perform your sandhya. In that case, we may leave.
Sri Ramakrishna (in bhava) — No. Sandhya! No, it is not that.
And after some conversation, M. offers obeisance and takes his leave.
Says Thakur, "Come again."
On his way back, M. says to himself, "Who may this god man be! How is that my soul longs to see him again! Can a man be great without reading books? What a wonder that I feel like visiting him again! He too has said, 'Come again.' I shall come tomorrow or day after in the morning."
Chapter Three
Akanda mandalakaram vyaptam yen characharam,
Tatpadam darshitam yen tasmaiya Sri Guruve namah.
Vishveshwara Tantra 2
[Salutations to the guru who has made it possible to realize Him who pervades this entire universe of movable and immovable objects.]
Second meeting and conversation between the Guru and the disciple
The second meeting. Eight o'clock in the morning. Thakur is going to have his shave. The winter cold is still lingering, so he wears a moleskin shawl. The shawl is hemmed with muslin. On seeing M., says he, "So you have come! Good, take your seat here."
He says this in the south-eastern verandah. The barber is there. Thakur sits in the same verandah for his shave and talks to M. in between. He wears the shawl on his body in the same manner with slippers on his feet. His face is smiling. He stammers a little while talking.
Sri Ramakrishna (to M.) —Well, where do you live?
M. — In Calcutta, sir.
Sri Ramakrishna — To whom have you come here?
M. — I came here in Barahnagar to visit my elder sister, at Ishan Kaviraj's house.
Keshab Chandra Sri Ramakrishna weeps before the Mother
Sri Ramakrishna — Well, how is Keshab doing at present? He was seriously ill.
M. — I too heard the same, perhaps he is well now.
Sri Ramakrishna — I made a vow to offer a green coconut and sugar to the Divine Mother for Keshab's recovery. I would sometimes wake up at midnight and cry before the Mother, saying, 'O Mother, grant that Keshab may get well. If Keshab does not live, whom shall I talk to when I go to Calcutta?' That is why I vowed to offer green coconut and sugar.
"I say, one Mr. Cook was here. Does he lecture? Keshab took me on board a steamer. Mr. Cook was there too."
M. — Yes, I did hear of him but have not attended
any of his lectures. I do not know much about him.
Household and the duty of a father
Sri Ramakrishna — Pratap's brother came here and stayed for some days. He had no work to do. He said that he would stay here. He had left his wife, son and daughter in the care of his father-in-law. He has many children. I took him to task. Just see, he has so many children! Should they be fed and looked after by others of the locality! He is not ashamed that somebody else should take care of his family and that they should be a burden to his father-in-law. I rated him rather severely and told him to look for work. It was then that he went away from here.
Chapter Four
Ajnana timirandhaysa jnananjan shalakaya,
Chakshu runmilitam yen tasmai Sri Guruve namah.
Vishveshwar Tantra 3
[Salutations to the Guru who with the collyrium stick of knowledge has opened the eyes of one blinded by the disease of ignorance.]
M. is reprimanded his egotism is crushed
Sri Ramakrishna (to M.) — Are you married?
M. — Yes, sir.
Sri Ramakrishna (startled) — I say, Ramalal[14]! Ah me! He has already taken a wife.
M. gets confused and sits speechless, hanging down his head like one guilty of a serious offence. He says to himself, "Is marrying so bad?" Thakur further asks, "Have you any children?"
M. can hear the beating of his own heart. Says he in fear, "Yes sir, I have children." Thakur rebukes M. all the more saying, "Alas, you have children too!" M. is stunned by this blow.
His egotism is getting crushed. After a while, Thakur Sri Ramakrishna looks at him kindly and speaks affectionately, ''See, you have some good signs. I can know it by looking at one's eyes and forehead."
"Well, what kind of wife you have? Is she vidya shakti[15], or avidya shakti2?"
What is jnana? Image worship
M. — Sir, she is good but ajnani (ignorant).
Sri Ramakrishna (sharply) — And you are jnani (wise)!
What is jnana and what is ajnana, M. does not know. Till now, he only knows that a jnani is he who has received education and can read books. This false notion was afterwards taken away. Then he learnt that to know the Lord is jnana and not to know Him is ajnana. Thakur said, "Are you jnani?" M.'s egotism again receives a hard blow.
Sri Ramakrishna — Well, do you believe in God with form or formless God?
M. (confused, to himself) "Is it possible to have faith in the formless God and believing at the same time that He is with form? How can it be that while believing God to be with form, one can think of Him as formless. Can the two contradictory states coexist in the same substance? Can white things like milk be also black?
M. — I only like the formless God.
Sri Ramakrishna — That is good. Having faith in either of the two (aspects) is enough. To think of God as formless is quite right. Even so, don't think that only this idea is true and all others are false. Know this that the formless God is true and so is
God with form. You must hold on to that what you believe.
Hearing again and again that both the ideas are true, M. is speechless. Never has he read such a thing in any of his books.
His egotism is crushed the third time but it is not yet completely knocked out. So, he advances with his reasoning a little further.
M. — Sir, well, let one believe that God is with form but surely He is not an earthen image.
Sri Ramakrishna — My dear sir, why earthen? It is the image of Spirit!
M. does not understand the significance of the 'image of the Spirit'. He says, "Well, should one not make it clear to those who worship the image of clay that there is no Lord in an earthen image and that while worshipping they should only keep God in view and not worship the clay."
Lecture and Thakur Sri Ramakrishna
Sri Ramakrishna (sharply) — It is fashionable for Calcutta people to lecture and bring others to light. How to bring light to themselves, they do not know. Who are you to teach others? He who is the Lord of the universe will Himself teach. He who has made this universe, the moon, the sun, the seasons, the human beings and the beasts, He who has made provision of food for men and beasts, and parents to rear and love will Himself teach. He has made this much, will He not arrange it too? If there is a need to teach, God Himself will surely make them understand. And then, God is antaryamin (knower of heart within). If there is some mistake in worshipping the clay image, does He not know that He Himself is being called upon? He is pleased with this very worship. Why should you have headache over it? Seek that you may yourself have jnana and develop bhakti.
This time M.'s egotism is completely crushed.
He says to himself, "What he says is indeed true. What need have I go about preaching to others? Have I myself known the Lord? Nor have I developed bhakti for Him. 'Bidding my friend Shankra to lie down on my bed when I have nowhere to lie upon.' Knowing nothing, listening to none and yet going out to preach to others! It would indeed be shameful, a great folly. Is this Mathematics, or History, or Literature that you can teach to others? It is the science of the Lord. Whatever he (Thakur) is saying s fully appeals to me.
This was M.'s first and last attempt to argue with Thakur.
Sri Ramakrishna — You were talking of worshipping the clay images. Even if made of clay, these need to be worshipped. The Lord Himself has provided various forms of worship. He who is the Lord of the universe has made all this to suit men in different stages of life. The mother so arranges the food for her children that everyone gets, what agrees with him.
"Say, a mother has five children and she has fish to cook. She makes different dishes out of it and gives each one of her children what suits him. Pulao[16] with fish for one; fish with sour tamarind for another; charchari[17] of fish yet for another, and fried fish still for another she prepares exactly what they like, exactly what agrees with their stomach. Understand?
M. — Yes, sir.
Chapter Five
Sansararnavaghore yahe karnadharswarupakah,
Namostu Ramakrishnaye tasmai Sri Gurve namah.
[Salutations to Sri Ramakrishna, salutations to that Guru who is the pilot to take across the deep sea of the world.]
How to gain bhakti?
M. — How may one fix one's mind on the Lord?
Sri Ramakrishna — One must chant without ceasing the name of the Lord and His glories. And keep company of the holy one must frequently go to God's bhaktas, or sadhus. One's mind does not fix itself on the Lord while living night and day in the midst of worldly activities and family life. Hence, one must go into solitude now and then to meditate on God. In the first stage it is very hard to fix the mind on the Lord unless one frequently goes into solitude.
"When the plant is young, it needs a hedge around it. Without the hedge goats and cows eat it up.
"The mind, the solitary corner and the forest are the places where you will meditate. And you will always have good thoughts in your mind. The Lord alone is real, i.e. the eternal substance, and all else is unreal, i.e. transitory. Discriminating thus, you will shake off attachment to the perishable things of the world."
M. (humbly) — How to live in the household?
Sannyasa in the household the way, sadhana in solitude
Sri Ramakrishna — You will do all your duties but keep your mind fixed on God. Wife, son, father and mother you will live with them all and serve them as if they are your own. But you will know in your heart that they are really not yours.
"A rich man's maidservant attends to all her duties but her mind is always set upon her own home in the village. Besides, she nurses her master's children as if they were her own. She calls out: 'My Rama, my Hari,' but all the while she knows fully well that they are not hers.
"The tortoise moves about in water but do you know where its mind abides? On the bank of the river, on the dry land, where its eggs are laid. You will attend to all your worldly work but take care that your mind rests on the Lord.
"If you enter the world (household) before you have acquired bhakti for the Lord, surely you will get entangled more and more. Misfortune, grief and ills of the world will make you lose your balance of mind. And the more you think of worldly matters, the more will come the attachment.
"Rub your hands with oil before you break the jack-fruit, otherwise its milky exudation will stick to your hands. First get the oil of bhakti for the Lord and then engage into the affairs of the world (household).
"But to acquire bhakti, solitude is needed. If you want to make butter, the curds have to be set in some lonely corner. The curds will not set if disturbed. Then you have to sit in a quiet place, giving up all other work and churn the curds. Only then you can get butter.
"Besides, by giving your mind to God in solitude, you gain jnana (spiritual wisdom), vairagya (dispassion) and bhakti. But if you give the same mind to the world, it becomes vulgar. In the world there is nothing but the thoughts of 'woman and gold[18]'.
"The world is like water and the mind like milk. If the milk is poured in water, it will get mixed with water and become one. You will not be able to get pure milk, howsoever much you may try. But if the milk is turned into curds and butter made out of it, it will swim over water when placed in it. So, first get the butter of jnana and bhakti by practising sadhana (spiritual disciplines) in a solitary place. This butter when put in the water of the world will not mix with it. It will swim on its surface.
"Along with this the practice of discrimination is also needed. 'Woman and gold' are transitory, the Lord is the only reality. What does money give? It gives us food (rice and dal), clothes and a place to live in thus far, no further. But it does not help attain Bhagavan. So money cannot be the end of life. This is the process of discrimination. Do you see this?"
M. — Yes, sir. I have recently read in Prabodh Chandrodaya (a Sanskrit play) about discrimination.
Sri Ramakrishna — Yes, discrimination. Just think, what is there in money or in a beautiful body? Think over it, in the body of a beautiful woman also there are mere bones, flesh, fat, urine and excreta all these. Why does a man give his mind to such a thing and lose sight of the Lord? Why does he forget the Lord?
How to see the Lord?
M. — Sir, can the Lord be seen?
Sri Ramakrishna — Yes. There is no doubt about it. Going into solitude from time to time, chanting His name and His attributes, practising discrimination these are the means one should employ.
M. — What state of mind leads to God-vision?
Sri Ramakrishna — Cry with a very yearning heart and you shall see God. People shed pitcherfuls of tears for wife and children, they weep streams of tears for money. But who cries for the Lord? 'Call out to God with a longing and yearning heart.' Saying this Thakur sings a song
Call out with a yearning, O mind! I'll see, how will Mother Shyama hold Herself from you?
How will Shyama stay away? How can Kali remain away?
O mind, if you are within yourself take hibiscus flowers and bel leaves.
Smear them with sandal paste of bhakti, and make a handful offering of them at Her feet.
"Yearning in the heart brings the dawn. Thereafter, the sun is visible. After longing comes God-vision.
"You can see God if you have these three attachments put together: The attachment of a worldly man to the things of the world, the attachment of a mother to her child, and the attachment of a chaste wife to her husband. If these three attachments are put altogether (for God) in a man, the power of these attachments makes one see God.
"The real thing is that you must love the Lord the way a mother loves her son, a chaste wife her husband, and a worldly man the things of the world. When you have the combined intensity of love of all these three persons for the Lord and you put together all these three attachments, you will see Him.
"One should call upon God with a yearning heart.
"The kitten knows only to cry mew, mew to its mother. Wherever the mother keeps it, it remains there now in the kitchen, now on the floor, and now on the bed. When it feels hurt, it simply cries 'mew,' 'mew' and knows nothing else. Wherever the mother may be, it comes on hearing its mew, mew.' "
Chapter Six
Sarvabhutastham atmanam sarvabhutani cha atmani,
Ikshati yogayuktatma sarvatra samadarshanah.
(Gita 6:29)
[His mind being harmonized by yoga, he sees himself in all beings and all beings in himself; he sees the same in all.]
Third meeting Narendra Nath, Bhavanath and M.
M. was then putting up at his sister's house in Barahnagar. Ever since he saw Sri Ramakrishna, M. thought of him every moment — as if he always has before his eyes the same joyful image and listening to his words, sweet as nectar. He says to himself: How has this poor brahmin ascertained all these deep truths? M. has never seen earlier anybody explaining so clearly all those things. He thinks day and night when will he go to him and meet him again.
Not long after it is Sunday, 5 March. He reaches the garden of Dakshineswar with Nepal Babu of Barahnagar at four o'clock. He finds Sri Ramakrishna in the same room, seated on the smaller bedstead. The room is filled with bhaktas. It is Sunday, so the bhaktas have time to see him. M. does not yet know any of them. He takes a seat aside in the assemblage and observes that Thakur is talking to the bhaktas with a smiling face.
Addressing a young man of nineteen years old, Thakur looks at him and joyfully talks on a number of matters. The young man is Narendra (Vivekananda). He is a college student and often visits the Sadharan Brahmo Samaj. His words are all full of spirit. His eyes are bright and the looks of a bhakta.
M. sees that the subject of the talk is the conduct of worldly men attached to the pleasures of the world; people who ridicule those who seek the Lord and religion. And how many wicked people there are in the world and how to deal with them, such is the topic of conversation.
Sri Ramakrishna (to Narendra) — What do you say, Narendra? Worldly men say all sort of things. But see, when the elephant wends its way, so many animals bark and make such other noises from behind. But the elephant does not even look at them. If someone condemns you, what will you think of him?
Narendra — I shall think that the dogs are barking.
Sri Ramakrishna (smiling) — No, my child, you mustn't go that far. Know that the Lord lives in all things. Even so, you must mix with the good and keep distance from the bad even while living with them. Narayana (God) is present even in a tiger but surely you cannot hug him for that reason. (Laughter.) If you say that the tiger is also Narayana, why should I run away? To this, the answer is he who says, 'Run away' is also Narayana. Why should you not listen to him?
"Listen to a story
"In a certain forest lived a sadhu. He had a number of disciples. One day he taught them saying, 'Narayana is in all things. Knowing this you will offer namaskar to all.' One day a disciple went out to collect firewood for homa (sacrificial fire). Suddenly, there was a shout, 'Run, run away wherever you may be a mad elephant is rushing out.' Everyone ran away except this disciple. He reasoned, 'There is Narayana in elephant too, why should I then run away?' Thinking thus, he kept standing there. Offering namaskar to the elephant (as the Lord), he started offering prayers. The mahut (driver of the elephant), on the other hand, shouted, 'Run away, run away.' Still the disciple did not move. At last, the elephant came and seized him with his trunk, threw him aside and went away. The disciple stunned, scratched and torn, lay unconscious.
"Hearing this, his guru and other disciples carried him to the ashrama and gave him medicines. After sometime when he came to himself, one of them asked him, 'Why did you not move away even when you heard that an elephant was coming?' He answered, 'Because gurudeva told us that Narayana Himself is present in all human beings and other living creatures. Seeing the elephant Narayana coming I did not, therefore, quit the spot.' At this the guru said, 'My son, indeed, it is true that the elephant Narayana was coming but my child, Mahut Narayana (the driver God) had warned you. If everybody is Narayana, why did you not listen to the latter? You should have paid heed to the Mahut Narayana.'
"The scriptures say, 'Apo Narayana (water is God).' But some water is used for divine service while some of it is used only for washing the face, mouth and hands, and also utensils or clothes, but the latter cannot be used for drinking or divine service. Similarly, Narayana is in the hearts of all holy men as well as unholy men, bhaktas and non-bhaktas. But one cannot have dealings with unholy, non-bhaktas and bad people. One cannot be close to them. With some one may only have nodding acquaintance while with others, even that is not possible. One must live apart from such people."
A Particular Bhakta — Sir, when a bad person comes to harm us or actually does so, should we do nothing then?
The household and tamoguna
Sri Ramakrishna — To live in the world and save oneself from the hands of bad people, one should make a show of tamoguna (the spirit of resisting evil). But it will not be right to harm anyone thinking that he may harm you.
"A cowboy used to graze his cattle in a field. In that field was a terrible venomous serpent. Everybody was very cautious because of the danger of the reptile. One day a brahmachari was passing through that field. The cowboys ran up to him and said, 'Holy man, please don't go this way. There is a terrible venomous snake there.' The brahmachari said, 'Child, never mind. I am not afraid of it. I know a mantra (a spell to ward off this danger).' Saying so, the brahmachari moved towards that direction. No cowboy accompanied him out of fear. And here came the snake raising its hood moving swiftly. But as it came near, the brahmachari muttered a mantra and lo! the snake fell at his feet like an earthworm. 'Well,' said the brahmachari, 'Why do you go about harming others? Come, I'll give you a mantra. By repeating this mantra you will develop bhakti for Bhagavan, you will attain Him and your desire to harm others will leave you.' Saying so, he gave the mantra to the snake. Having received the mantra, the snake bowed before the guru and asked, 'Sir, what sadhana (spiritual practice) should I carry out, please tell me this.' The guru said, 'Repeat this mantra and also don't harm anybody. I shall come again,' said the brahmachari before leaving.
"Some days passed thus. The cowboys
noticed that now the snake did not bite. Even when they struck it with stones, it did not feel angry. It had become like an earthworm. One day a cowboy went near it and catching hold of its tail whirled it round and round and dashed it several times against the ground. The snake vomited blood and became unconscious. It could not move. The cowboys thought that it was dead. So they left the place.
''Late at night, the snake regained conscious-ness. Slowly it dragged itself into its hole with great difficulty. Its body broke and it had no strength to move. After a few days when its body was reduced to a mere skeleton, it would come out of its hole once in the night to look for food; for fear (of the boys) it did not come out during the day. After its initiation with the mantra it ceased to harm anybody. It lived as well as it could on leaves and fruits fallen on the ground from the trees.
''Almost after a year the brahmachari came that way again. As he reached the spot, he looked about for the snake. The cowboys said that it was dead. But the brahmachari found it hard to believe. He knew that the snake had taken the mantra and so the death was out of question before it has seen God. So he made a search and called out for it in the same direction by the name he had given it. Hearing the voice of its guru, the snake came out of its hole and bowed down reverently before him. The brahmachari asked, 'How are you?' The snake replied, 'I am quite well, sir.' The brahmachari asked, 'But why are you so weak?' The snake said, 'Holy sir! You had asked me not to harm anybody. So I live on leaves and fruits. Perhaps this is the reason why I have grown weak.' The snake had developed the quality of sattva (the quality leading one Godward), you see. That's why it did not get angry with anyone. It had forgotten that the cowboys had tried to kill it. The brahmachari said, 'Your food alone could not have brought you to this pass. Surely there is something else. Just think over it.' The snake then recalled that the cowboys had once whirled it round and round and dashed it against the ground. So it said, 'Holy sir! Now I see it all. The cowboys one day threw me violently on the ground. They are ignorant. They do not know what change has come over my mind. How could they know that I was not going to bite anybody or do any harm?' The brahmachari said, 'Fie! You are so stupid that you don't even know how to save yourself. What I forbade you was to bite any creature. I didn't ask you not to hiss at anybody. Why did you not frighten them away by hissing?'
"One should hiss to bad persons to frighten them away, so that they may not harm you later on. One must not inject poison into them and injure them."
Are all men equal? Their natures differ
"In the Lord's creation there are different types of creatures and plants. Amongst the animals, there are bad as well as good ones. There are beasts like tigers who kill others. Amongst the trees, some bring forth fruit sweet like nectar, while the others yield poisonous fruit. In the same way, there are good men and bad men; holy as well as unholy; men attached to the world and then bhaktas also.
"People can be divided into four classes worldly people bound to the world, seekers after liberation, the liberated, and the ever-free.
"The ever-free, like Narada and others they are those who abide in the world for the good of mankind, to teach truth to others.
"The bound souls they are attached to worldly objects. They forget God and never give a thought to Him.
"The seekers after liberation they try to get liberated. But only some of them attain liberation, the others cannot.
"The liberated ones they are not attached to 'woman and gold', for example sadhus and mahatmas (great spiritual personalities). In their mind there is no attachment for the worldly things. They always meditate on the lotus feet of Hari[19].
"Suppose a net is cast into a tank. Some of the fish are too clever never to be caught in the net. They can be likened to the ever-free ones. However, most of the fish get caught in the net. Of these, some try to escape. They are like the seekers after liberation. However, not all the fish can escape only a few are able to leap out of the net. The boys then shout: Look here! A big fish has escaped. But most of the fish caught in the net cannot escape they don't even try to do so. And what is more, they hold the net with the mouth and lie quietly hiding themselves in the mud of the tank. They think, 'We are quite safe now; there is no danger.' But they do not know that the fisherman would haul them up with a jerk and throw them out on the river bank. They may indeed be compared to worldly men."
Worldly men bound in fetters
"Worldly men remain bound to 'woman and gold' of the world. They are bound hand and foot. And they think that they can find happiness only in 'woman and gold' of the world and feel secure in it. They know not that they will die in that alone. When a worldly man is on his deathbed, his wife says to him, 'You are departing. What have you done for me?' Besides, maya is such that on seeing a lamp burning for long the bound man says, 'Oil will get consumed, lower the wick.' And here he is lying on the deathbed!
"The worldly man does not think of the Lord. If he has leisure, even then he indulges either in empty talk or engages himself in useless activities. Upon being asked he says, 'I am not able to sit idle, so I am setting a hedge.' Perhaps when the time hangs heavy on him, he starts playing cards." (All laugh.)
Chapter Seven
Yo mam ajam anadim cha vetti lokamaheshvaram,
Asammudhah sa martyeshu sarvapapaih pra-muchyate.
Gita 10:3
[He who knows Me as unborn and beginningless, and the great Lord of the worlds, he is no more deluded amongst mortals and freed from all sins.]
The way faith
A Bhakta — Sir, is there no way out for such a worldly man?
Sri Ramakrishna — Certainly there is a way. Now and then one must seek the company of holy men and at times one should go to meditate upon God in solitude. And one should practise discrimination and pray to God: 'Grant me bhakti and faith.'
"Once you acquire faith, your work is done. There is nothing higher than faith.
(To Kedar) "You have heard of the power of faith! The Purana says that Ramachandra, the Perfect Brahman and Narayana, had to build a bridge to reach Lanka. But Hanuman by dint of his faith in the name of Rama jumped across the sea. He had no need for a bridge. (All laugh.)
"Vibhishana wrote the name of Rama on a leaf and tied it within the folds of the cloth of a man who wanted to cross the sea. Vibhishana said to him, 'Fear not. Have faith and walk across the sea. But mind you, as soon as you lose your faith you will drown.' This man was walking nicely on the sea till he was seized with an intense desire to see just once what was there in the folds of his cloth. He untied the folds of his cloth and saw that it was just the name of Rama written on the leaf. Then he said to himself, 'What! Just the name of Rama written thereon!' And on the instant with the loss of faith, he went under the water.
"One who has faith in the Lord can be redeemed of great sins no matter he may have committed the vilest sins killed a cow, a brahmin or a woman. Let him only say, 'I shall not do so again,' he need not fear anything."
Saying so, Thakur sings.
The vilest sin and the great importance of Name
Mother, If I die with the Name of Durga on my lips,
I shall see, O Shankari, how You shall not redeem me?
If I kill the cow, or a brahmin, or destroy the child in the womb;
If I indulge in drinking wine and the like, killing woman,
For all these sins I care not the least,
As I can get at the feet of Brahman in a moment.
Narendra the Homa bird
"You all see this boy. He is so different here. When a naughty boy is in the presence of his father, he behaves as if there is a goblin in front. But when he plays in the chandni, he is quite different. A boy like this belongs to the class of the ever-perfect. They never get attached to the world. When they get a little older, they feel an awakening within the heart and move Godward at once. They come to the world to teach mankind. They have no love for things of the world. Their mind never goes towards 'woman and gold'.
"There is a mention of a bird called Homa in the Vedas. It lives high above in the sky. There in the sky itself it brings forth its egg. As soon as the egg is brought forth, it begins to fall. But it is so high that the egg goes on falling for days. During the fall it breaks and then the young bird coming out of it goes on falling. While it is going down, its eyes and wings open out. Just as it opens its eyes it sees that it is falling and shall soon be smashed on touching the earth. Then it suddenly shoots upward towards its mother and attains a great height."
Narendra rises and leaves.
Kedar, Pranakrishna, M. and many others are in the room.
Sri Ramakrishna — You see, Narendra excels in everything singing, playing on musical instruments, reading and writing. The other day he had a discussion with Kedar. He just chopped off Kedar's argument. (Thakur and all others laugh.) (To M.) Is there a book in English on reasoning?
M. — Yes, sir. It is called 'Logic' in English.
Sri Ramakrishna — Well, give me some idea of it.
M. now finds himself in a difficult situation. Says he, "One part of logic is reasoning from the general proposition to a particular. For example: All men will die. Pundits are men. So pundits will also die.
"Another division deals with reasoning from a particular illustration, or an event to a general proposition. Such as:
This crow is black,
That crow is black,
(And so) all the crows I see are black.
Hence, all crows are black.
"But to arrive at a conclusion in such a way is open to fallacy, for it is possible that you may find a white crow somewhere while looking for it. An another illustration: When there is rain, there was a cloud or still it is there. So the general proposition is that the rain comes from the cloud. Yet another illustration: This man has thirty two teeth. That man also has the same number. And then, everybody we see has thirty two teeth. Thus all men have thirty two teeth.
"So there are such general propositions in the English Logic."
Sri Ramakrishna just heard it all. As he was listening, his mind went elsewhere. So, there was no further talk on this subject.
Chapter Eight
Shrutivipratipanna te yada sthasyati nishchala.
Samadhav achala buddhih tada yogam avapsyasi.
Gita 2: 53
[When your intellect tossed about by the conflict of opinions has become poised and firmly fixed in equilibrium; then you shall get into yoga.]
In samadhi
The meeting ended. The bhaktas are walking about here and there. M. too is walking in the Panchavati and other places. It is about five o'clock. Coming back after some time to Sri Ramakrishna's room he comes upon a strange sight in the small verandah, north of the room.
Sri Ramakrishna is standing still. Narendra is singing a hymn and bhaktas are standing there. M. is charmed to hear the song. Never and nowhere has he heard such a sweet voice except that of Thakur. As he looks at Thakur, he becomes speechless with wonder. Thakur is standing motionless, his eyes move not; it is difficult to say whether he is breathing or not. When asked, a bhakta tells him that it is known as samadhi (divine ecstasy). M. had never seen or heard anything like this. Speechless, he says to himself: Is it possible that the thought of Bhagavan can make one lose so much of outer-consciousness? How great must be one's bhakti and faith who is put into such a state! The song is as follows:
Meditate you upon Hari (the Lord), O my mind! He is the essence of the spirit. He is free from all impurity!
Without equal is His glory, beautiful is His shape, how very beloved He is in the hearts of His bhaktas!
Behold, His beauty is enhanced by fresh manifestations of love! It throws into shade the effulgence of a million moons!
Verily, the lightning flashes out of His glorious beauty! His blessed vision causes hairs to stand on end.
Sri Ramakrishna is deeply touched when this line of the hymn is chanted. The hairs on his body stand on end. His eyes are bedewed with tears of joy. Now and then He smiles, it appears on seeing something. One cannot say what a vision of unequal beauty he is enjoying which puts into shade the effulgence of a million moons! Is this called the vision of the conscious form of Bhagavan? What must be the intensity of the spiritual discipline and austerities, how much bhakti and faith must be there which can bring about such a vision! The song goes on
Worship His holy feet on the lotus of your heart!
Gaze you upon the matchless beauty of that beloved form. Now that the mind enjoys peace and the eyes are filled with divine love.
That bewitching smile once more! His body becomes motionless in the same manner; eyes fixed! But it seems as if he is beholding some strange vision! And having seen this wonderful vision, he swims in supreme joy.
Now the song comes to an end. Narendra sang:
Inspired with love divine be you immersed, O my mind, in the sweetness of Him who is the fountain of Absolute Intelligence and Bliss.
(O! the joy of the Supreme Consciousness, the joy of love.)
Carrying with him this unique picture of samadhi and the bliss of love in his heart, M. wends his way back home. The heart intoxicating sweet music bubbles up from time to time in his heart
Inspired with Love divine be you immersed in the fountain of His love. (Be intoxicated in the love of Hari.)
Chapter Nine
Yam labdhva chaparam manyate nadhikah tatah,
Yasmin sthito na dukhena guruna api vichalyate.
Gita 6:22
[And having gained which, he thinks that there is no greater gain than that, wherein established he is not shaken even by the heaviest affliction.]
Fourth visit merry making with Narendra, Bhavanath and others
The next day (6 March) is also a holiday. M. has come again at three o'clock in the afternoon. Thakur Sri Ramakrishna is seated in the same aforesaid room. A mat is spread on the floor. Narendra, Bhavanath and two other bhaktas are seated there. Some are young men, nineteen or twenty years old. Thakur is sitting on the smaller bedstead and with a smile playing on his face is conversing merrily with the boys.
Seeing M. enter the room, Thakur laughs loudly and says suddenly to the boys, "Look, he is here again!" As he says so he laughs and all join him. M. comes in, salutes him by prostrating himself on the ground and takes a seat. Previously, he had been saluting Thakur while standing with folded hands, after the manner of English educated persons. But today he has learnt to salute by lying down at his feet. As he takes his seat, Sri Ramakrishna tells Narendra and other disciples what has made him laugh.
"Listen, some opium was given to a peacock at four o'clock in the afternoon. Next day the same peacock arrived punctually at four in the afternoon. It has become an addict of opium, so it came punctually for a dose of opium." (All laugh.)
M. says to himself, "He is right. I go back home but my mind, day and night, abides in him alone thinking when shall I see him, when shall I see him! It seems as if somebody has pulled me to this place. I cannot go anywhere else even if I want to, I have to come here." M. thinks in this way while Thakur amuses himself with the boys as if they are of his age. Peels of laughter begin to rise as though it is a mart of joy.
M. is speechless as he is looking at this unique character. Says he to himself, "Is he the same person whom I saw yesterday in samadhi and in the joy of divine love never seen before? Is he the same man behaving like an ordinary person today? Is it he who on my first visit scolded me while teaching me? Didn't he tell me that God with form and the formless God are both true? Didn't he say to me that the Lord alone is real and all else in the world is transitory? Didn't he advise me to live in the world like a maidservant?"
Thakur Sri Ramakrishna is having great fun and is glancing at M. every now and then. He sees that M. is sitting in silence. Addressing Ramalal he says, "You see, he is a little older, therefore he is somewhat grave. These people are laughing and making so much merry but he is sitting quiet." M. was then about twenty seven years old.
During the conversation they talk of Hanuman, the great bhakta. There is a picture of Hanuman on the wall of Thakur's room. Thakur says: See, the state of mind of Hanuman! He wants none of these: Wealth, honour, bodily comforts. He only longs for Bhagavan. When he was running away with Brahmastra (a heavenly weapon of the Brahma) taken from the crystalline pillar, Mandodari started showing him many kinds of fruits. She thought that tempted by fruits he might climb down and drop the weapon, but Hanuman could not be tricked. He said
Sri Rama, the Kalpataru (wish fulfilling tree)
Do I stand in need of fruits?
I have got the fruit that has made my life fruitful,
The tree of the fruit of liberation Rama is planted in my heart.
I sit under the Kalpataru (wish fulfilling tree) of Sri Rama
Whenever I desire any fruit I get it.
But you speak of the fruit; O woman, I am not bargaining for.
I go leaving the bitter fruit to you.
In samadhi
Thakur sings this very song. And again he goes into the same samadhi. Again his body is motionless, eyes fixed, and he sits still. He is seated the way as if a picture in the photograph. Only just now the bhaktas were laughing and making merry, now they are all gazing at this unique state of Thakur. It is for the second time that M. sees the state of samadhi. After some time a change comes in this state his body is relaxed and a smile plays on his face. The senses begin to function again in a normal way. Shedding tears of joy from the corners of his eyes, he utters the name, "Rama! Rama!"
M. says to himself, "Is this the same great saint who was making fun with the boys! At that time he was as if a child of five years."
Returning to his earlier natural state, Thakur again behaves like an ordinary man. Addressing M. and Narendra says he, "I would like to hear both of you talk in English, and question and reason amongst yourselves."
M. and Narendra both laugh at his words. They talk a little but in Bengali. It is not possible for M. to argue any more before Thakur. His entire tendency to argue, in a way, has been erased by Thakur's grace. How can he argue then? Thakur presses them once again but the talk in English does not come about.
Chapter Ten
Tvam aksharam paramam veditavyam tvam asya vishvasya param nidhanam,
Tvam avyayah shashvata dharma gopta sanatanas tvam purusho mato me.
Gita 11:18
[You are the imperishable, the Supreme Being to be realized. You are the great treasure house of this universe; You are the imperishable guardian of the Eternal dharma. You are the ancient Purusha. I deem.]
With his intimate disciples 'who am I?'
It is five o'clock. Many bhaktas have left, each one to his own house. Only M. and Narendra stay behind. Narendra goes to Hanspukur and the Jhautala with a pitcher to wash his face. M. paces the path round the temple. After a while, he comes towards the Hanspukur near the Kuthi. He finds Sri Ramakrishna standing on the steps of the staircase, south of the tank. Narendra has washed his face and stands with the pitcher in his hands. Thakur is saying, "Look here, you must come here more often. You are a newcomer, you see. After the first acquaintance, people meet more often like a newly wedded husband. (Narendra and M. laugh.) Won't you come?" Narendra belongs to the Brahmo Samaj. He laughs and says, "Yes sir, I shall try."
All of them now come to Thakur's room by way of the Kuthi path. Near the Kuthi, Thakur says to M. "You know, peasants go to the market to buy bullocks. They know a good bullock from a bad one very well. They touch the tail. Some bullocks lie down on the ground as soon as the tail is touched. Peasants don't buy such bullocks. They choose only those who spring up with a start as soon as their tail is touched. Narendra is a bullock of the latter class. There is a lot of mettle in him." Having said so, Thakur smiles and adds, "But there are so many who are soft like popped rice soaked in milk no strength within, no grit, soft and slippery."
It is dusk. Thakur meditates upon God. He says to M., "Go and talk to Narendra and tell me what sort of boy he is."
The arati is over. M. meets Narendra after quite sometime to the west of the chandni. They converse with each other. Narendra says, "I belong to the Sadharan Brahmo Samaj. I am a college student," and so on.
It is night, M. will now take his leave. Something, however, seems to hold him back. So, he leaves Narendra and looks about for Thakur Sri Ramakrishna. Thakur's songs have charmed his heart and mind. So he is longing to hear him sing again. At last, he finds him alone pacing up and down the Nata Mandir in front of Mother Kali's temple. There are brilliant lights burning on both sides of the Mother in Her temple. The vast Nata Mandir, however, has only one light, and that is rather dim. As is the effect of blending of light and darkness, the same is seen in the Nata Mandir.
M. is beside himself on hearing Thakur's songs, spellbound like a snake. He says to Thakur with great diffidence, "Will there be any more hymns today?" Thakur thinks for a moment and says, "No, there will be no more hymns today." As he says this, it seems as if he is reminded of something and says immediately, "But you can do this I shall go to Balaram's house in Calcutta, you come there. There you will have songs."
M. — Right, sir.
Sri Ramakrishna — You know him, Balaram Basu?
M. — No, sir.
Sri Ramakrishna — Balaram Basu. His house is in Bosepara.
M. — Very well, sir. I shall find out.
Sri Ramakrishna (as he walks in the Nata Mandir with M.) — Well, let me ask you one thing what do you think of me?
M. keeps silent. Thakur says again —
"What do you feel? How many annas[20] of jnana (knowledge) I have?"
M. — Annas! I don't understand. But I have never and nowhere seen such jnana (knowledge of Absolute), such love for the Lord, such faith, such vairagya (dispassion) and such catholicity.
Thakur Sri Ramakrishna laughs.
After this conversation, M. bows and takes his leave.
He comes to the main gate but remembering something, he immediately returns.
He again comes to Thakur Sri Ramakrishna in the Nata Mandir.
Thakur is still walking up and down in that dim light alone, with no companion. Like the king of animals who walks alone himself in the forest. Atmaram[21], the lion rejoices to be alone and to walk about itself! Companionless!
M. stands speechless and again looks at the great man.
Sri Ramakrishna — You have come back again.
M. — Sir, they may not let me enter the rich man's house. So, I think I shall not go there. It is here that I shall come and meet you.
Sri Ramakrishna — No, my dear sir, why ? You can mention my name. Say that you want to see me. Someone will surely lead you to me then.
Saying, "As you please," M. bows down again and departs.
[1] Hindus who worship God as the Primal Divine Energy
[2] Hindus who worship God as the Preserver (Vishnu)
[3] Offered food
[4] Food offering to Gods
[5] Nectar of divine feet
[6] A fan made of the white hair from the tail of the cow called Chamari.
[7] Consecrated pitcher placed to win Divine favour
[8] Daily service morning, noon and evening, as laid down for the twice-born.
[9] Om, the Vedic symbol for the Supreme Being
[10] The Vedic mantra (sacred text) that the brahmins and other twice-born Hindus repeat everyday while meditating on the Supreme Being
[11] Siddheswar Majumdar. He has his house in north Barahnagar
[12] Waving of lights before sacred images along with singing of hymns
[13] God-consciousness
[14] Ramalal, nephew of Sri Ramakrishna and the priest of Kali Temple
[15] Of divine nature leading to God and to light
[16] A highly spiced fish dish of rice and meat boiled in clarified butter
2 Dry fish with spiced vegetables soaked in oil
[18] Lust and greed
[19] Lord the Preserver
[20] Anna sixteen annas make one rupee
[21] Rejoicing in that Companionship