text:
Wynn Principal Says The (Tie) Dye Is Already Cast
Principal John Weir looking to use dance as an extension of "team" over "individual" philosophy school has tried to foster.
More than 30 8th graders and parents arrived at the Wynn School Library Thursday night, hoping to have the chance to change the mind of Principal John Weir regarding format of the end-of-the-year 8th grade dance.
They left disappointed and, in some cases, angry.
"It really wasn't even a discussion. His mind was made up," said Sheryl Liggiero, mother of an 8th grader. "We asked him if there was a reason (for the change) and he said, 'I don't have to give you a reason.'"
"He wouldn't listen to what anyone would say. He had his mind set," said Rachel Bradley, a Wynn School 8th grader and the only student allowed to officially speak at the meeting. "
What had the students and parents up in arms was a decision by Weir to change the theme of the dance to a "tie-dye" dance. Weir said each of the 8th grades four "teams" would have color-coded tie-dye shirts. He said he envisioned the theme of the dance as an extension of a field day that will also be held near the end of the school year, featuring team activities and team-building exercises.
"Middle school is about team building and the team format more than the individual," said Weir.
The 8th grade dance at the end of the school year has been a tradition in Tewksbury going back at least 30 years. Over that time it has taken on the format of a "semi-formal" with some students, especially female, choosing to dress up in dazzling party attire.
But that, said Weir, is part of the problem. He said the dance was never intended to be an elaborate prom-like event. He said it was always supposed to just be an end-of-the-year dance. He showed a memo he sent out prior to the 2011 event, which stated directly that the event was NOT a semi-formal and that students should not go overboard with clothing.
As it is, said Weir, there has always been a wide range of attire at these dances. "There was always inconsistent dress with the kids," he said. "Some were in t-shirts and jeans, some in button down shirts, some more elaborate. So we're not taking away the semi-formal because there never was a semi-formal."
Weir said when he was deciding about the format of the dance, he consulted the teachers and then went to the Parents Advisory Council, who told him it was a good idea.
He told the students that had gathered for the PAC meeting that he appreciated their initiative.
"I told them I was glad they came and that they advocated their position," said Weir.
But that was as far as he was willing to go. He would not re-open discussions about the format of the dance. When one male student asked, "Why can't we have a say," Weir responded, "There are some decisions the adults are going to make."
Weir stressed that he didn't invite the students to the PAC meeting but had invited parents to attend and join the dance committee to help organize the event.
The students were, in fact, invited to the meeting by PAC Secretary Joy Beatrice. In email correspondence with Rachel Bradley, Beatrice indicated that the PAC would be glad to discuss the matter with the students and said it had not been the PAC's decision to make the switch.
Beatrice was unable to attend Thursday's meeting. However, PAC Chairperson Laura Hulme gave her full backing to Weir.
"My whole thing is, Mr. Weir is the principal and he decides," she said.
As for the students and parents that attended the meeting, they say the fight is not over. Sheryl Liggiero said she intended to bring the matter up before the Tewksbury School Committee and Rachel Bradley indicated that the students would be willing to stage their own "semi-formal" dance, perhaps on the night of the tie-dye event.
Bob Rauseo
6:21 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
So one INDIVIDUAL (the principal) gets to decide what the entire TEAM (the students) can do.
Sounds like a very poor way to teach teambuilding.
Way to go, Rachel. Continue to speak truth to power.
8:38 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I agree with you Bob.. Dressing up was the absolute best part of our SEMI. My class, (2012), I know had a lot of fun going to each other's houses and taking pictures and the best part dressing up with the make up, the hair, and a nice beautiful DRESS. None of this "tie dye" nonsense, Mr. Weir made this decision on his own and basically wasted everyones time going to this so called "meeting". He's ruining what's left of the Wynn Middle School, everyone else already hates how the schools run, why ruin some little dance that has been going on for years?! And honestly I'm so happy my sister and Rachel Bradley are standing up for what is right, Nicole and Jessica watched and Marissa and I get all dressed up for these semi's and now that it is finally their turn you just shut it down? Come on Weir lighten up their KIDS, and they want to have FUN!
john smith
8:47 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Sheri I went to the Junior high 26 years ago and it WAS a semi formal then. I chose not to go because it wasn't my thing, but many of my friends went and it was a highlight for them. I was not disappointed that it wasn't an event for me, I was happy that others enjoyed it. We all met up after the dance even those of us who did not go. Don't question your merit for this fight because if it important enough you should speak your mind respectfully many of us ADULTS have your backs.
6:42 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I am a student of the Middle School and by no means do I consider Mr. Weir to be a just leader of a middle school. He decides what he wants and that's final. What happened to voice? Apparently it is overlooked when the situation is most appropriate. To be honest, I don't typically go to any of the dances, yet it is obvious most students do attend them. So a piece of advice to Mr. Weir, Either accept the student's recommendations, raise some money for the school and regain the students respect, or stick to your guns, refuse the semi-formal dance, and look like a fool when no one shows up to the dance. I wouldn't be surprised if the student council members running parts of the dance don't show up either! I have heard from many of my fellow classmates that the Wynn dances are rather boring, so maybe they want to alter the dance to make it more enjoyable. The students are told they have come of the age of responsibility. We take on the cons of responsibility everyday at school. Where are our pros of responsibility? Stop treating the students as inferior and think about who this dance is for. Sincerely, Ben
Victoria Lynne
12:55 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Open your eyes. Haven't you noticed the changing attitudes and the way younger and younger kids are getting involved in "adult" activities? Making the dances too important encourages kids to forge romantic relationships whether you realize it or not. When girls are running out and buying formal dresses for the 8th grade dance, they are taking it far more seriously than they should be. It's ridiculous. It is the PARENTS who want these activities.... who STARTED these activities..... you're enabling the problem. The "formalness" of these dances has always been a huge issue that has caused problems. Making a change to a more laid back approach that levels the playing field and minimizes the more "adult" behavior is a WIN WIN situation. OPEN YOUR EYES!
Joanna Marie
6:33 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Still the worst school in town and the worst administration too
Linda S Willette
3:16 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
So, do something about it. Why not start with signing your name?
Joanna Marie
6:36 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
So, these tie dyed shirts are to be worn at field day, then to the dance??? Please someone tell me I'm wrong because that's gross.
Rachel Bradley
6:45 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Hi everyone.. This is Rachel Bradley! I just want to say (despite us not getting our semi) thank you for the support! The amount of texts, emails, and messages I have received makes me know that my fight was worth it. Also, they were not just from boys and girls in my 8th grade class, but also he classes above and below. As it states in the article, he had his mind made up. I am happy I got to spoke about this and stick up for all my classmates, though! We will be scheduling our own semi-formal in the next upcoming weeks. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated. :)
Rachel Bradley
Joanna Marie
11:16 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Good for you Rachel, This town needs more students like you. Keep up the good work, you'll go far in life!
11:54 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
maybe your time and effort would be better spent on academics....
10:51 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
that is a good idea, you don't need the school to gather together and enjoy yourselves
Annie Whitehouse
12:41 pm on Saturday, February 2, 2013
Good job making your voice heard, Rachel! I'm sorry it didn't work out for you this time. Keep fighting the good fight and there will be bright things in your future.
Heidi Miele
6:48 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
My suggestion, some business that has space to accommodate this dance should. Open your doors to them. Bring your shirts and leave them in a pile at the front of the school. Off to a real dance you go. These kids won't forget and neither would this town. Someone please step up!
Bill. S
7:02 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I like that idea, leave the shirts in a pile and nobody go into the tie die dance
7:10 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I've dealt with Mr Weir over the years and he is a very arrogant and condescending man.I believe this school is by far the most out of control school in our town.I think the town can find a principle who can lead by example and not bully everyone and show that all voices should not only be heard but also be heard without Mr Wier rolling his eyes.Mr Weir perhaps should sign Rachel's challenge and get of his high horse.Mr Weir with all due respect you are a clown
Linda S Willette
3:14 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Is that what you will call your boss when you are out in the world???
And, why don't you say it to his face?
10:54 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
someone should telll mr weir, that the people of tewksbury are the ones that pay his salary, this is a democracy, there must be a way to get him off the job if no one approves of his work and the running of the school
7:10 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I cannot see anything wrong with the procedure that the principal followed. I do not see this as a unilateral decision. Are we encouraging our children to disrespect authority if they do not get their own way?
Bob Rauseo
7:40 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I see nothing disrespectful in Rachel Bradley's comments or actions.
If you read the Patch you will see plenty of disrespectful, even disgusting comments posted by individuals, presumably adults, directed at elected officials. These poor examples encourage disrespect.
Historic Note: In 1969 Rachel's great-aunt was part of a group of students that approached TMHS administration and the Tewksbury School Committee and asked that the high school dress code be changed. At that time girls were required to wear dresses and boys were required to wear ties to school. In that case, the adults listened and changed the dress code.
So hang in there, Rachel.
Continue to voice your opinion.
Continue to work for what is important to you.
Bob Rauseo
(husband of Rachel's great-aunt)
Linda S Willette
1:43 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
HI Jo
I agree with you. Maybe a lesson in listening is in here somewhere, because when you graduate, you will have someone telling you what to do. And believe me, with the competition for jobs, an attitude of "my way or the highway" will get you a one way ticket to un employment.
Beth McFadyen
7:30 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
As the parent of four children in the school district, including an 8th grade daughter, I applaud the teachers and staff for creating a fun, age-appropriate, team-themed dance to celebrate the transition from Middle School to High School. At a time when "cliques" are formed and many students struggle to find peer groups, I welcome the idea of encouraging our students to participate as "teams." For me and for my family, individual needs are less important than maintaining a culture in our school that makes everyone feel welcome and invited to the party. Additionally, I can't help but think that this theme best supports the goals of the Rachel's Challenge program in our school.
Like I did nearly 30 years ago, my daughters will look forward to their junior and senior proms when they celebrate a more significant milestone in a more formal setting. Until then, I am delighted that this year's Middle School dance will encourage even greater participation than prior events, because all students will walk in feeling that they "belong."
wendy spinelli
7:58 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Cliques and peer groups are formed long before now and having a "dressy" dance or a tie dye dance will not change that. I was looking at the CD of the 8th grade semi when my oldest went and it was filled with pictures from all "cliques" and groups jumping in front of the camera to get their picture taken, the option to dress up was there but a lot of the girls opted to wear a sun dress or the boys wear khaki's and golf shirts. Everyone who attended had a great time from the time they walked in on the "red carpet" to the grand balloon drop at the end of the night. It was a night to remember for them. And while I agree that the Jr. and Sr. Proms are something to look forward to in a formal setting, our town holds a "father/daughter" dance in the most formal of settings (The Tewksbury Country club) where children as young as 5 are getting completely dolled up, getting their hair/nails done and going with their dads and friends to dance in the beautiful ballroom, take a formal picture in front of the fire place and most going out to dinner before/after. So for a lot of our "girls" they have been attending that event for years so to be told now in 8th grade and at age 14 a Tie Dye is what is age appropriate for them is hard for them to understand.
Linda S Willette
3:22 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Yes Beth,
Maybe they could collect food at this dance for the food pantry to help the hungry people in our town. Think Global, act local. With so many people out of work, hungry, undereducated and just wanting a roof over their heads, it makes it difficult for me to understand this about a dance. We had no such dance in the 8th grade where I went to school, it was not in Tewksbury. We had Junior and Senior Prom and felt lucky to have that. No limousines,we all drove in cars and had a great time. It's great to stand up for what you believe~ really, is this the battle that is so important?
7:30 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I agree the students should have an end of the year celebration, they ARE being provided one. My child attended the Wynn a few years ago and did in fact have the end of the year themed dance and the majority of the girls showed up in fancy dresses, some inappropriate for their age. The dance was not intended to be a semi-formal and yet the majority of the girls dressed up. I agree with some of the posts related to this issue however, I do not agree with the parents going and coordinating a dance outside of the school just to give the kids what they want. What are we teaching our children? I hear more parents ranting and raving about how out of control the youth of today are yet here is a prime example of why children are the way they are. The school has made a formal decision, they are not taking away the dance,they are not changing it from semi-formal to something else, it never was a semi. What the school has done is set a theme to the dance, something it has ALWAYS had. The kids don't like the theme, suggest something different. I'm sure Mr. Weir would have entertained other themes, just not one that included fancy dresses. How can you say they are robbing you of the end of the year celebration, they are giving you a dance like every year before, he is ONLY putting his foot down about the attire for the dance. I support these young ladies for standing up for what they believe in however a decision is made, the responsible thing to do is accept the decision and move on.
Tewksbury Resident
7:39 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Why can't parents teach their children to make the most out of this situation? The administration is more educated, more quailified and more experienced than most - there are reasons for this decision. I would think that a semi-formal event would surely divide the haves/have-nots; there are families who could not afford the costs associated with this! Why not encourage your CHILD to devote more time to their studies than to figuring out ways to ALWAYS get what they want, when they want it? There are other formal/semi-formal functions to look forward to...why not show some class/maturity and support the final decision instead of boycotting and stomping your feet? When choosing your battles, there are much bigger issues than this. Yikes - I didn't realize there was such a honey boo-boo mentality in town.
john smith
12:53 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Respectfully speaking your mind with your parents approval and asking for the same thing that the previous 3 decades of 8th graders had is not "Honey boo-boo"! Way to go Rachael your approach is appropriate even if it is not received well. The so called leaders in this town do not always know what is best for the majority even though they think they do.
wendy spinelli
7:45 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Over the years the end of the year dance has evolved into a "dressy" event for both the 7th and 8th grade. Last year our kids were told that they would be having a black light dance for 7th grade that way 8th grade would be more special. Our kids Tie Dyed Tshirts by team and had a field day at the end of 6th grade and a similar structure for the end of the 4th grade. They are in 8th grade and have seen their siblings and friends have a "semi" for years and were very much looking forward to it. Its not about getting their way or disrespecting authority; it was quite the contrary last night, a group of about 20 8th grade students respectfully came to that meeting to be heard and they were told that they were not even invited to come. It was very disappointing that absolutely nothing about the dance was up for discussion and when 1 or 2 of the kids got to stand up and ask a question about why they couldn't have what they wanted for a theme they were pretty much told "because I said so". They left confused as to why no one was willing to listen to them and even take into consideration their request. There are a lot of willing 8th grade parents to help with this event and oversee and reinforce any parameters that will be set as far as dress code, etc. but it was made quite clear to us that it was not an option.
john smith
7:59 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Why not poll the students and ask them what kind of event they would prefer. Some kids will get involved and others who could care less will not. Let's face it, this end of year dance has unofficially been a semi formal for decades and suddenly we are going to change something that isn't really a problem. So a few people go a little overboard in some people's opinion, big deal. Have a dress code but allow individuality as has been the case for 30 years. In a stressful world why not open up the conversation to the students and allow them to have some say in an event that is supposed to be for them?
Can u believe it?
8:00 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Have the dance in a barn of a neighboring town. It worked in Footloose!
8:17 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
First off I appreciate that being a middle school principal is a really hard job. That said I think Mr. Weir could have handled this situation better. From what I can tell his initial decision was made in consultation with teachers and the PAC but not students which seems odd - but fine. Now, as Wendi said you have a young woman here who is demonstrating some serious leadership and initiative to get involved in the process. She got 30 of her friends to respectfully lobby for something different. Rachael is to be applauded for the manner in which she approached this problem. I do not understand why they cannot be heard. This seems like stubbornness.
I think Rachael and her friends have taken this as far as they can. To quote Mr. Weir "There are some decisions the adults are going to make." I think it is time for Mr. Weir to be asked (by us adults who pay the taxes) to appear in front of the school committee and answer Rachel's question. If the answer still is unsatisfactory maybe us patents should sponsor a semi at the TCC?
8:28 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
This is not a matter of "stomping their feet" for not getting what they want. They are just asking to be heard. Of course there are situations that adults know better than kids; but why not, at least, listen to a majority of the kids to see what they want?
8:32 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I for one, cannot understand why so many revile Mr. Weir for this decison. I attended the Wynn School a few years ago and went to the semi and had a great time, however I like Mr. Weir's decison becasue it will incorporate all students. There are always the few that do not go to the semi, and then there's the many that go extravagantly overboard which is entirely unnecessary. This is a way to create a send-off to high school in an all-inclusive way where the girls don't have to try to outdo each other on dresses. Besides, why can't we respect that Mr. Weir made a decison and has sound reasoning behind it. He's the principal for a reason while the students aren't. I was a student under him and found him capable and firm in his decisons, something the Tewksbury Public Schools systyems desperately needs.
11:02 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
then why are you anonomous, speak up for what you beleive and don't hide behind anonomous
8:46 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Let's look beyond the dance and its structure and the decision that was made right or wrong. Let's elevate this to a higher level. Let's look at the process from an objective position which is a factual representation of what had transpired last night and think about what is the one essential key objective a principal has to his students. That is to "inspire" and lead with a delicate balance of strength and humility. I hope we can all agree, that if we could find more individuals with the capability, we would most assuredly see a person who is well respected and admired. These are the individuals we want to lead our children.
I attended last night's meeting and what I witnessed was a person of absolute weakness. We live in a civil democratic society, because we have a unique opportunity to "Due Process". Apparently Mr. Weir is unaware he is in America. If you were not at the meeting, you may or may not be aware of the lack of "Due Process" which was not provided to the children or the adults in attendance. This is a gross misuse of power.
8:50 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Wow...just when I think that Tewksbury has set the lowest possible standard for the absurd and pedantic, something else comes up to prove me wrong. The dance issue is rediculous on all fronts. All the children need to know is that the principal is in charge and that their obligation is to conform. Poll the children? Please...what they think matters, but their legitimate authority over school decisions is simple non-existent. Parents who fight the system on the dance issue in the name of their children set a bad example and instill a sense of entitlement that is out of line while encouraging self-righteousness and disrespect.
Personally, I do not completely agree with the change in the dance theme, nor do I feel entitled to critique the decison or challenge the principal's authority over such events. It needs to be said, however, that the new theme does probably level the playing field and may make some students feel more welcome and comfortable when they cannot compete with those who dress more formally/elaborately. That alone is plenty of justification for the change in my mind.
The disgruntled children should be presented a glass that is half full and told to count their blessings...and know their place.
john smith
9:07 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
T you sound like a prison warden. This is a school right? Students should have some say to a point. Polling the student body is an excellent way to teach democracy and allow the kids to have a voice. Anyone who has a problem with teenagers taking a poll is a control freak. It does not mean the administration has to follow the students wishes to a T, but at least it opens it up for discussion instead of changing something because it is the opinion of the few that this is better. It is a dance, why is it wrong for the girls to wear a dress if they want to. Have we turned into Russia? Why is everything changing, we are getting weak as a society. I am done commenting on this, I am glad I had the experiences in school that I had many years ago in this town when we had leaders who were strict when necessary and stayed out of trivial matters like this.
9:15 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
So in T's world we are all to "Conform" ... does this mean we are not allowed to question. does this mean we are not allowed to ask the simplest of questions, Why?
This is not a fight, this is two groups of individuals who are at a crossroad. Two groups who are rationally trying to come to some sort of understanding. And as such, yes, this is a lesson to be learned, and this is not about disrespect. The children have pursued the proper channels, have behaved with utmost respect, and have shown nothing but pure passion for their belief/cause.
Your pedantic rave demonstrates your true ignorance, and for that I apologize.
8:50 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Okay and again what do you think these students are going to do with tie dye? You all think that it's just a nice little tie dye T-shirt with jeans, when it all reality it's not! You can cut the shirts to make them look like a belly shirt, you can where tie dye short shorts, you can wear a tie dye sports bra! My sisters and their friends have all seen me make a senior tie dye shirt for our homecoming dance! They are going to follow in mine and my friends foot steps! This is not about having the students all look "the same" or have the girls go "overboard", this about trying to get the students to dress "appropriate", and what Weir is doing is not the best decision. The students are still going to go overboard with this tie dye dance, and I hope he realizes that when he sees what these students are actually going to wear.
8:55 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Continued from Above:
Whether you agree or disagree with the decision does not excuse the complete lack of respect Mr. Weir showed to the children and parents by not explaining his decision, number one, and number two not allowing for a rational discussion of a counter proposal.
We live in a society whereby everyday decisions are made with rational thought, procedure, and fact. Position and counter position is given due process and a rational decision is developed through "team work" and compromise. The utter lack of this procedure is what is unacceptable.
The Tewksbury School Committee should be made aware of what has transpired and his actions should be noted. This should be part of his annual evaluation. I can only hope that he responds with dignity and humility. He owes this class and the parents in attendance an apology for his inability to respond with a rational explanation when asked by the very same people who ultimately pay a portion of his salary. Mr. Weir, you are not "above the law".
Rachel, this is not a fight, this is a just a minor roadblock, your passion is deserving and admired. I suggest looking to the parents and maybe more importantly to the seniors of this great community for guidance, knowledge, and help. They are quite willing and helpful. Good Luck.
9:06 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
If the kids do not agree with this outcome why not BOYCOTT .
9:11 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
so what happens if the girls show up at the tie die dance in semi attire?
Jane Doe
9:13 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Really? Is this what gets the attention and the juices flowing of parents of teenage students? How about bullying or curriculum or peer pressure and cliques? Typical Tewksbury mentality - how sad. I went to my 7th grade dance in a pair of corduroy Levi's and a shirt from who knows where - Cherry and Webb (circa 1980?) Be more concerned what your kids are doing not what kind of a fashion statement they are making.
Jane Doe
9:15 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
and I think Mr. Weir is making a good decision - thank you Mr Weir..
john smith
2:11 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Jane, what makes you think the parents are not concerned about curriculum, bullying, etc. This is not about that right now so why don't you stick to the topic at hand. They are adults who support the fact that their kids had expectations that they were having a dance similar to the last 30 years and now it is a tie dye disappointment.
9:23 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I don't have a problem with a tie-dye dance, but not as the final one as what has traditionally been known as the semi. I too have had issues at the Wynn and the condescending attitudes that are alive and well there.
I would not boycott this dance, however, perhaps a "real" dance can be held at the Country club on a Thursday. Or kids should wear what they want to the tie-dye one. Is there a rule that you have to wear something tie-dyed? If we don't have school uniforms, how can a "uniform" be enforced for a dance.
I can see not keeping score in T-ball and soccer for the 5-6 year olds but these kids are 13 years old. Why is it that such a large decision was made without any student input? Why not show the democratic process and actually have a ballot and a vote for such a big change that affects the students. This decision doesn't affect the principal - it affects the kids. And life isn't fair. There will be kids with a lot of 'friends" and quiet shy kids who have just a few. The theme of the dance won't change that. Have a field day or more team-building activities within the classroom, but forcing it onto them at a dance isn't going to work.
I don't agree with the mentality of "he made a decision, we have to abide by it" that's not what makes this country great. Decisions have been reversed when open and honest dialog is allowed and LISTENED with an objective mind.
Chris Kelly
9:26 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
It sounds like Footloose has come to Tewksbury. The kids just want to have a dance. Are the kids and parents going to have to go to another place since people in higher power have rigid beliefs?
With that said, I agree with in principle with Beth's comments about concerns about cliques. Most prom type events often cater to the popular crowd and less social kids are left out. However, the tie dye options seems like it is creating more division than unity within the school. If creating a team is the goal, this idea failing.
I think the having a semi formal while making sure everyone feels welcome is a doable task. This would teach the kids that compromise is the best solution in these situations. The last thing the town needs is for the event to be boycotted and / or the parents having a non sponsored dance. The last thing we need is the regional or national media picking up on this story and embarrassing the town.
9:26 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Although I was not at the meeting, from what is written here, maybe Mr. Weir didn't give the kids time to be heard. But, I think it's important that Rachel & friends stood up for something they believed in and were willing to "fight" to have their voices heard. She should be very proud of what she did, but realize that the MOST important thing here is that she DID stand up for something she believed in. "Win or lose", it's a great life lesson for every kid. Now that the decision has been made, I think we need to stand behind it for the kids so they can enjoy their last days at the Wynn together and not get snarky about how the meeting may have been handled or what the outcome was.
Lauren Page
9:38 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
As a sophomore who has been through and chose to leave the Tewksbury school system, this situation makes me very angry. Though I expect no other behavior from Mr. Weir (having had issues with him as principal during my time at the school), it seems that he has had something against semi since he became principal. He says half the kids dont even dress up for the dance, but when I was there the boys were in nice jeans or dress pants with a button down shirt or polo while the girls were in sparkly party dresses. That's the way it has always been. The kids have never tried to make it a prom like event. A semi is a semi and if I got one as an eighth grader, the eighth graders this year should get one too.
Your full name
9:43 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Parents that are not using this moment to teach their teens about being grateful what they are given, and how to handle disappointment in a positive manner are doing their kids a huge disservice. If they expect to be disappointed they probably will be, if they expect to have fun, they probably will. People manage to have fun at costume parties, toga parties, beach parties, ugly Xmas sweater parties, and all other themed parties that don't include semi formal attire. Teach them that what they are dressed like doesn't really matter when you are surrounded by friends. This will be good practice when they are adults and the boss changes the company "Holiday Party" from an open bar event at the yacht club to a few deli platters in the cafeteria. Complaining to their host and threatening to go someplace better is not what grown ups do. Attitude is everything and this is a teachable moment! Don't waste it being pessimistic about an event that hasn't even happened yet.
Phaedra D'Ambrosio
9:45 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
It is unfortunate that students who wish to dress up are being encouraged not to. I for one believe that we all behave a little nicer when we are gussied up. I would just like to say, it's also unfortunate that people are mentioning or even suggesting a "boycott". There are alot of moms, dads (mostly PAC members) as well as Faculty that will put A LOT of hard work into the full-fun day event (nice addition about extending the event into a field day). Its truly wonderful that we even offer such events, back when I went to school our "event" was washing the desks, getting to doodle on the chalkboard and going home.
Melissa Onorato DeVeau
9:51 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
1. it was stated no one is allowed in the if they dress up
2. the children were very respectful and listened quietly when he was speaking
3. the children were barely heard in my option
4. a compromise would have been a better alternative and i bet the children would've been ok with "i will take this into consideration"
These are not bratty spoiled "Veruka Salt" 8th graders!
as far as Jane Doe goes..you are way off base this has nothing to do with being superficial or cliquey they want to dress up in semi formal attire.. if people choose to be over the top to each his own and that is their dime...What is wrong with dressing a little better/ neater than school clothes never mind the fact that they will be forced to wearing smelly sweaty tie die t-shirts, that to me is just nasty.
9:56 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
First of all, I remember my Wynn Middle School 8th grade semi, we weren't allowed to call it a "semi", fine, who cares it's just a word. But we were allowed to wear dresses and look like we were going to a dance as long as we did not over do it. I think that was a good compromise. This whole tie dye business is ridiculous, Sheri is right, the girls are going to cut their tie dye shirts to belly shirts with fringes hanging down and wear sports bra's under them making them look like they are going to a pep rally or something. What the heck kind of dance is that?! When I was in 8th grade, of course there was a few kids who felt like they didn't fit in and didn't want to dress up, so they went to the dance and wore what THEY felt COMFORTABLE in. Dressing up is a choice, NOT a REQUIREMENT. Everyone should have their own choice on what to wear as long as it's not too extravagant. This is a matter of CHOICE not kids being spoiled and not getting what they want. I was in 8th grade in 2001/2002 and I was NOT a popular kid, I had only a few friends because I was new at the beginning of the year and I wore a cute sun dress and i had fun with my friends. I wasn't in a clique, I didn't get to dress up as much as the other girls, but I still had a great time because I had a CHOICE of what I could wear. This isn't about rebelling it's about kids having an opinion for events involving them.
Tewksbury Mom of 2
10:17 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
It amazes me that adults still think that kids should not have a voice. Mr. Weir dismissed those kids so fast last night it was ridiculous and a total waste of time. We tell our kids to have a voice and speak up for what they believe in and as soon as they do they are let down by adults and told "because I said so" ....really?? Stop treating these 8th Graders like they are 5 and listen to them it is after all THEIR dance. Why dont we try and find a middle ground for this situation. Instead of saying you will do what I want Mr. Weir should come up with 3 different dance options and have the kids choose. These kids are being respectful about this and they still do not get to be heard, I just dont understand. We are in 2013 and we as adults still make kids feel like they should be seen and not heard.............unreal!
This whole thing about the tie dye will help everyone feel the same is BS as no matter what kind of attire you have these kids wear it will feel like not everyone is the same its unfortunate but its part of life and the kids should not be punished one way or another.
10:23 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I was at that meeting last night in support of the 8th graders this year and my daughter who is in the 7th grade who has been looking forward to getting all dressed up since her brother was in 8th grade 6 years ago. I have had dealings with Mr. Weir when he was vice principle 6 years ago and he has not changed. He was extremely arrogant and condesending last night. When I asked the reason why he was changing the dance his response was "I already told you". I said well I guess I still don't understand he said nothing. I was disregarded as a concerned parent and that is the same way he runs his school. His word was the final say and he made that very very clear last night.
Rachel as I told you all last night don't give up this fight. If you are passionate enough to believe in something fight until you have no fight left. Take it as far as you can take it. If the outcome is not what you wanted it does not matter whether you won or lost what matters is you didn't give up. Sydney and I are behind you all the way so for it and let's see if the school committee will hear our children. Believe it or not they do have a voice and they should be heard because this is about them right?
10:28 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
While I applaud the students for standing up for what they believe in; staging a dance outside the confines of the school demonstrates a complete disrespect for authority. It demonstrates a temper tantrum type of mentality. I don't think 30+ students constitutes a majority representation of the 8th grade. As a parent of an eight grade girl who is constantly saying " everyone else is allowed to....wear inappropriate shorts to school, tank tops to school, obscene amounts of make up to school...etc...." I feel that as a society in general we are letting our children grow up way to fast...what are these kids going to have to look forward to. While I do not agree with "the because I said so" mentality that is supposed to have occurred; I do agree with the decision to change the theme of the dance. I think all should consider that we have not heard both sides of the story and perhaps the administration had very good reasons for their decision. After all the kids are still having a dance...
wendy spinelli
11:08 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Like Mr. Weir said at the meeting the students were not invited to come speak. I agree with you, 30 kids does not demonstrate a majority representation of the 8th grade, however, those are the kids that heard it from a friend and/or whose parent attended the meeting. Had the 8th grade students been given an opportunity/invite to come and discuss the dance I am going to go out on a limb and guess that there would have been a much greater attendance.
Tom DeVeau
10:30 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
There are a few takeaways on this (I have an 8th Grade Son who was at the PAC meeting):
1) I will continue to teach my son to stand up for what he believes in, and at the same time, I teach him that he will often hear the word "no" or get dismissed or overlooked. Happens every day in the real world, but that does not mean to stop trying. For the adults here who are watching your taxes skyrocket, do you sit there and accept it, or do you question it and want to change it? It is the attitude of people like some above that has put this world where it is. Let everyone else make the decisions and you just sit there and accept it. Well, the government is ruining this country. I'll continue to question it and attempt to make changes, but I am not going to accept all of their wrongdoings, nor should the generation of children we are raising in this world.
2) In this town, a fair amount of kids go to different high schools, so 8th grade is truly the last time they will all be together. We should be giving them that honor. We should be teaching them to dress nice and respect traditions. What's wrong with polos and khakis and dresses? Put strict guidelines on the dress code and if attire is inappropriate, they are not allowed in. Simple.
3) Whether it's a semi or a tie-dye dance, there will be kids that don't go. There are kids that don't go to Junior or Senior Prom. You will never get full attendance and participation regardless of your decision. Now, you'll get much less.
Laura Boerman
10:48 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Maybe they are trying to make it less sexual. Some of the girls dress seriously inappropriately. I think it could also work if they publish a dress code and then block people at the front door that violate it. 8th grade girls don't need to wear strapless dresses and show cleavage or wear skirts so short that "stuff" shows. Just sayin.
11:38 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
What do you think is going to happen if the girls get to tie dye their own shirts/socks/shorts? and they're not going to let people in who paid for their own ticket? I promise you there will be girls who go over board with this tie dye decorating cause that is how us teenage girls work, and now that the 8th graders are following in their older siblings footsteps, it makes them think that they can do it, and 8th graders without older siblings see other older teenagers on the street dressed inappropriately. This whole tie dye issue could be easily solved if he just changed it back to the way it was and let the kids have their fun.
Trish Bourne
10:54 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Hey everyone. Why not just think age appropriate?? If dressing up and make-up is the best part why even bother going to the dance? All I know is that it sets the stage for future dances...$500 prom dress...Think I should do it??
Steve Crane
11:16 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Why do government run school systems devote resources paid for by tax dollars to sponsor things like dances? There is a clear demand for dances in town, why not let private industry do these things? Instead of the outrage directed at bureaucrats like John Weir, the way to protest would be to simply stop patronizing the dances. Merrimack Valley Pavilion just opened and seems to be operated by townies, what a perfect way for them to launch their business.
11:48 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
Rachel was allowed to speak...had the 30+ students and their parents been allowed to speak the meeting would still be going on...
wendy spinelli
12:24 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I did not say that Rachel wasn't allowed to speak, I simply said that they were not "invited" to speak as said by Mr. Weir in the meeting. He did allow Rachel and Adam to briefly speak. All I meant by my reply was that; yes 30 kids does not constitute a representation of the entire 8th grade but the 8th graders as a whole were not given the opportunity to represent themselves in the matter. I have served on PAC's and boosters for a long time and I know that not everyone who attends the meetings can speak or they would go on forever.
Billy Beane
12:53 pm on Friday, February 1, 2013
Mr. Weir is a scumbag and always was enough said. that school is poorly run and has been since he took over as principle feel bad for those poor kids at that school. What an awful school he should be ashamed.
Chris Kelly
11:58 am on Friday, January 18, 2013
I want to reiterate that the school and the kids need to talk and come up with a compromise. I am the parent of an 8th grader and I can tell you she is not a fan of the tie dye dance. If the principal is trying to foster an atmosphere of team work, making an unilateral decision smacks right in the face of teamwork. The tie dye dance now symbolizes a big brother approach and the event needs to be changed as a result. Although the event may or may not be a semi formal, all the appropriate stakeholders should have a say. This approach will show students how people can come to an agreement when people disagree and will be more valuable than any dance.
Donna Wilson
12:27 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
If the parents in this town would take responsibility for their children - this wouldn't be an issue. Past attendees have ruined it for future eight graders. Limos, $200 plunging necklines, really people? This is not prom. How about checking your child before she walks out the door for a dance? How about parenting, period!! And as for the responses talking about the girls hacking off their shirts - there's a simple solution. Don't let them in!! It's not easy being a middle school principal - especially when you have to deal with parents and kids who don't want to hear the word "no." A decision was made and I think that the best thing to do would be to gracefully accept it. There will be many more opportunities for them to dress up in the future.
wendy spinelli
12:35 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
My oldest daughter attending the 8th grade semi in 2008 and as far back as then there have been no limo's allowed so I'm not sure how far back that past attendees ruined it, but it has been at least 5 years since anyone has taken a limo. I'm thinking that none of our kids should be punished for something that may or may not have happened 6+ years ago. And I specifically directed that question to Mr. Weir last night "did anything happen in the past to influence this decision" and he said no. Putting it on the parents is fine, but for some, the parents check the kids before they walk out the door and then they go somewhere, change in a bathroom and unless you see the pictures on facebook you would never know! I have seen it happen to the most strict of parents. I do agree with you on not letting them in if they are not dressed appropriately but that would be for both the Tye Die or the Dress.
12:31 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Im confused, when my daughter was at the Wynn I was under the assumption this dance was a way for the kids to all come together for one last hoorraah!! Why does this entire thing seem to be about what they can wear? Are you telling me the kids cant have fun if they are not wearing semi-formal attire? I for one have more fun when not restricted by a dress and heels. Im sorry but the 8th graders were not polled for my daughters dance, their opinion was not asked for, this was a decision made by the PAC and the school. All these parents telling their kids "wear what you want, wear a fancy dress if you want, what are they going to do about it" you are teaching your kids the wrong way to approach this situation. I hate to break it to all of you but highschool will not tolerate that kind of behavior. The first dance the kids have when they get to highschool is typically a homecoming dance, do you think fancy dresses are allowed there? Nope they are not and if you show up in one your refused admission. Im sorry we dont get everything in life we want, we dont get our way on everything, often times we do have to accept "no" as the answer. Is Mr. Weir going about it the right way by say "because I said so" no he isnt but again, this has never been something the students had a say over. Maybe Mr. Weir took this stance because every year the kids get more and more outragous with their attire and this is the only way to curb it. Barely there dresses, limos and flowers brought this on.
12:34 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Agree with Donna's comment. Good, bad or ugly, no means no. The decision may stink for some, but how about showing kids that respect for a decision they may not agree with is a big part of life. Happens everyday in the workplace. Acceptance is a tough thing for kids to learn, but at least they tried and need to realize that although they did try, they weren't successful and can be very proud that they tried!
1:03 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
It is quite unsettling to hear such condescending and inaccurate comments as you have stated above. It is quite obvious that something like this situation has soured you and you have accepted it. That is troublesome.
In reality, this does not occur in the real world, and when it does it is met with swift and just action. This is what history has shown.
Decisions which are made through a process of point and counter point are decisions which are respected. Unilateral decisions should be decisions which are questioned and responses are justified. This is not the case here. I would urge that you get the facts before you sour the board with comments that contain no truth or relevance.
It seems to be me from your post that maybe you could learn quite a bit from Rachel.
Maybe if you had stood up for an obvious injustice which has soured your outlook, things may have been quite different in your workplace.
2:33 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I'd be interested in hearing more about your workplace, where the decisions are made democratically. It is certainly the exception to the rule. I'm pretty sure if my boss told me to do something, and I refused on the basis that I did not agree with it, he would tell me to pound sand and go work someplace else.
Is your company hiring? It sounds like a great place to work.
2:56 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
You missed the point altogether. I never once said anything about the not accepting or for that matter "refusing" a decision. My point is that uni-lateral decisions in a public forum should be scrutinized. And if the decision made can stand upon its own merits then that is acceptable. The point is that "Due process" was not allotted to the concerns, questions, or comments within the public forum. This is unacceptable. Do you not agree?
1:07 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Geez! Mr. Weir sounds exactly like the 'male principal' of the Tewksbury elementary school that my child currently attends. No one has anything good to say about him either. He's rude, arbitrary and argumentative with everyone. I avoid him like the plague and I'm a parent. Is this what I get to look forward to when my kids go to the Wynn? I'm seriously considering sending them to private school starting next year.
1:39 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Please let the School Committee members know of your experience with Mr. Weir, good or bad.
Donna Wilson
1:16 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Wendy, I agree that some kids do change in the bathroom but if I ever see my daughter on Facebook after a dance in an inappropriate outfit, I guarantee you it would never happen again after I got through with her. Also, a quick fix to that is if a child does this at a dance, they get sent home. Period. There are chaperones there, no? And I don't see how the kids are being "punished". They were simply told "no." In my household - that's not a punishment. That's simply something my kids hear sometimes. My daughter goes there and she's fine with not having a semi-formal. She went to the 7th grade dance with the neon theme and had a blast.
1:19 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I hope Rachel and her group do hold there own "semi-formal" on that night. It's never too young to prove a point. Good Luck Rachel!
1:42 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
If this decision was about team building, then why were the teams not included in the decision making? I hope this matter does go before the School Board.
1:48 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Rich: I wasn't being condescending or inaccurate. You dont even know me, so please don't judge. I love my job! I work in an educational setting- not in town. I would like my kids to know that they should never hesitate to stand up for something that they believe in (see my first post to this thread), just as Rachel has done, but no one should automatically believe that they will always have the decision be in their favor. The kids should indeed be proud of their stand (as stated in my first post). If you think I am "souring the board" I would respectfully disagree with you. There are many workplaces ( not mine) where what the "higher ups" say goes with no discussion or point/counterpoint . Since it's obvious that do not know me, YOU should not judge my comments.
2:08 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
So I am confused? Please enlighten me. Wasn't it you that said "..respect for a decision" and did I also misread "... no means no ...." and that " ... this is a big part of life ..."
You are absolutely 100% incorrect. And I point out that decisions which are given "Due Process" can then be the only decision that is justified and then and only then can it be mutually respected by both parties concerned.
The fact is that this is a "uni-lateral decision" of which Mr. Weir would not offer any justification or account of history that would support his decision. Anyone given that power must be able to provide proper and just cause. His inability is a clear case of "ignorance" and should not be tolerated. At the very least he should be exposed and he should apologize for his unjust and uncivil behavior. This is not the "inspirational" leadership we should come to expect from our public school system. It is a working relationship from staff, student, and parent with mutual respect for all.
The fact that we question the decision does not show disrespect it merely seeks to ascertain the process and motive behind the decision. Once understood, I'm quite sure this would have not ballooned to this proportion.
What the kids wear, what they call it, who attends, who cares not, is irrelevant. The real indiscretion is the behavior and child like actions of someone who is suppose to inspire our children for greatness. Not allowing "Due Process" is and should always be unacceptable.
john smith
2:00 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I just don't understand why teenagers getting dressed up formally is a bad thing. The title alone formal adds an element of glamor and class for those who like that sort of thing. This is eighth grade not sixth grade and they are entering high school a few months later. This principle really has an issue with students WANTING to get dressed up and have a nice event. It is usually the opposite where kids don't want to dress up and look like slobs. I for one will always be proud when my kids wear a nice shirt or get excited about their appearance. Is it required at these dances in the past, no, but the choice was there and it actually meant something to a large number of these kids. Mr. Weir has wiped that away without even involving the students to find a compromise if he felt one was necessary. This guy has no clue! At the end of the day for most of us this is just another simple issue that will fade away, but for those involved who are saddened by this foolish decision it is tarnished something that they were looking forward to. Mr. Weir has lost their faith and in my opinion damaged his reputation.
2:02 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I wish parents in this town were as interested/involved in academics.
Our town's MCAS rating would be a lot higher.
john smith
2:36 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Academics are not the topic at hand bk! Stick to the issue being discussed. It is wrong to say parents are not interested/concerned about academics. We are not talking about that today and you obviously have nothing useful to add if that is your comment.
Country Girl
2:05 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I'm old and I guess I don't understand. I have had 4 daughters in the Tewksbury school system. They were in the Dewing school when Mr. Weir was the principal. I never had any problem at all with him. I found him to be very receptive. I do have a problem however with a tie dye 8th grade dance. That would be fine in 5th or 6th grade. This is age inappropriate. I don't understand the problem. There are always going to be cliques, just as there were when I went to school eons ago. Is that the reason? What actually is the problem . . . does anyone know?
2:13 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
A sense that Mr. Weir has circumvented the proper decision making step, "Due Process". And lack of justifying said decision is and always should be unacceptable. Especially from a person in position who is paid by the very parents of the children he is to inspire.
2:20 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
123- your comment is condescending, to say the least. Rachel is a fantastic student. Whether you agree or not with her, she should be commended for taking a stand on someting at such a young age.
2:52 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Unfortunately her grammar and sentence structure implies that she is not a fantastic student....
2:36 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I am in that 8th grade class, we did not get our semi last year and they promised us that we will get ours this year and then they go ahead and cancel it. I agree with rachel I will go to the semi on the same night as the "tie dye" dance. this is our last dance before we leave for different schools and we should have our semi like others did before us.
Rachel Bradley
2:52 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I just want to state that we have not set a date yet for our semi.. Neither dances have a set date yet that I am aware of.
Donna Wilson
2:50 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Rich, do you even have kids at the Wynn? Or is it that you have a personal agenda with the principal? Perhaps you just like to be pompous. Please stop attacking Julia for her opinion. If you have an opinion, simply state it or defend it, but please stop all your unnecessary verbosity (see we all know big words) - you're starting to sound like a troll on Yahoo!
4:17 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
To answer your question, I have had two kids that have already gone through the Wynn Middle School. They were fortunate to have experienced the end of the year dance in a more formal fashion. And I now have another set of two in the eighth grade at the Wynn as well today. They have had the misfortune of having this end of year dance cancelled their previous year (7th Grade), and now they are going through a change in process that they have seen their older siblings enjoy. Also please note, I was in attendance at this meeting.
As for your belief regarding any "pompous" nature of the big words, maybe you are right. Sorry for the confusion.
I apologize for using "big words". But most of all, apparently I was unable to convince you of the wrong which was done, lack of "Due Process", that is the most regrettable.
Rachel Bradley
3:02 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
So after reading all these comments, I understand everyone's thoughts an opinions. Everyone is entitled to an opinion.. It's one of our basic rights as human beings (we are learning all about this right now in history). I understand what Beth said when it comes to cliques and everything else that would be put on the table. But a tie-dye dance or not, cliques exist in society. I'm not trying to say that Beth is wrong, because she is not. Cliques do exist it's are horrible, but it's apart of growing up(as much as I wish they would not exist). I bet there is not one parent, adult, or student on here that could disagree with me. He left every single person in that meeting let down. I understand that tie-dye might not seem like a big deal to many of you, but this will be our last dance. I've seen the topic of prom come up on here as well, Prom is where the limos and everything is okay.. but for this it is not. I do not feel like we, as the 8th grade class, are asking an unreasonable question. I believe we all want our voices heard. I just want my question answered as to why we will not have a dress-up dance, as it has been a Tewksbury tradition for years now. I still have yet to have my question answered. And to 123 who said I should focus more on my academics, I have been an honor roll student my whole life. I just want my question answered, I did not think that would turn out into something this big. Again, I'd like to thank everyone for all the support. It means so much.
3:28 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
What I don't understand is what the big deal is ...the school did not cancel the dance...perhaps we should be asking why what you are wearing is so important to these young girls.. what are their priorities ?
3:52 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Your question was answered - it appears that you do not like the answer. Part of growing up is being able to accept that sometimes we don't always get what we want. While I applaud the fact you stood up for what you believe in; your attempts to stage a coo I find disrespectful.
R Miano
3:49 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
What's the big deal? My wife and I went to the Wynn when it was called the Junior High School and my son was at the Wynn last year. This "end of the year" dance is a last hurrah for these students before some of them go off to the High School, the Tech or other schools. Let them have some fun. They worked hard to get to the point they are at. Don't get me wrong I like Mr Weir, he helped me out with my son but this is really a shame. I have respect for Rachel Bradley & the other students for trying to step up and get what they want. If the parents and students of the 8th grade decide to have a dance off the school property, at a hall of some sort I will donate my time and my sons time to DJ the event. Courtesy of Anthony "DJ Tony M" Miano and Miano DJ Productions.
4:04 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
my3sm- How was it she is staging a coup? What am I missing? She simply asked to revisit the tye-dye dance idea.
123- they are 13 and 14- their priorities are going to differ greatly from ours, as adults.
4:25 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
If she is planning a semi at a different location then it is not being together for one last time that is her priority- being able to wear sparkly party dresses, too much make up and act and look older than she is- perhaps her parent should help to adjust her priorities.
6:57 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
So the seniors at the different high schools shouldn't dress up? Cause you know that was our last time together, that was our last big hoorahh! This is a celebration of going into high school, why can't they just wear a nice little dress? And 123 don't tell a parent to help adjust this girls priorities, she's standing up for what she believes in and that's awesome!! And isn't that what parents teach their kids? To be a leader and not a follower? To stand up for what is actually right? I don't know but 123 please don't tell a parent what they should do with their child when we all know this girl is right and this girl, being as young as she is, is certainly a mature 14 year old girl.
Chris Kelly
4:29 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Rachel - I admire your courage and I applaud you for challenging the status quo. We need more people who will question decisions vs just accept something as is. The irony of the choice of tie dye is tie dye is often associated with the 1960's hippie movement which encouraged questioning authority.
With that said, I have one question before I can support your idea of having a non school sponsored semi formal. Will every student in the eighth grade be invited to this event?
Rachel Bradley
8:11 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Yes! Every 8th grade student would be.. we would make sure of it. This is for us, as a class, and for it to be what we want!
Tewksbury Resident
7:26 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Look at Rachel's words: "to be what we want"...that is ALL this is about - giving the kids what they WANT. It is not their fault that they have never been denied anything. They are from a generation that thinks they can negotiate everything, the way they do at home. NO PARKING = "I'm just going to be here for a few minutes, so it's ok", NO DOGS = "but my dog is little and won't be a bother, so it's ok", and so on. They come to school and say to their teacher "my mother said you can't make me" or "my dad said I don't have to". At some point parents morphed back into children and feel that their children's approval is more important than setting good examples like how to follow rules and how to handle disappointment. These kids are ill equiped for what's to come because it's easier for parents to just say "yes". Someone needs to teach young girls not to be so superficial - they should be celebrating their academic achievements and enjoy being a kid! How many students are wearing dresses to school everyday? No, it's not about that - it's about having a stage so all eyes can be on them. As I've said before, I attended this school and not ONE person "dressed up" for this dance back in those days - nor the following year when my sister attended. We actually went in the clothes we wore to school that day {gasp!} - with a little spritz of "Love's Baby Soft". Parents need to teach kids that this is not a battle worth fighting. The take away: you CAN'T always have it your way, period.
Tewksbury Resident
4:31 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Well, my eyes are certainly being opened today! Disturbing how many "parents" just want to be their child's friend and completely sidestep PARENTING. Do they really think that a 14-year-old know what's best for them? Or that a 14-year-old should be exempt from following rules that are set in place for their benefit? Do they really support a principal (or any other authority figure) having to EXPLAIN their decision and await approval from a 14-year-old? I can't believe there are parents that would disrespect a school principal in front of their CHILDREN this way. If you have a problem with a school administrator, there is a set protocol - taking it to a public forum where CHILDREN are involved only takes away his credibility and strains the system. Like them or not, you should find a common ground on which to stand united with your school's administrators and teachers - they need ALL the support they can get! I can't believe today's parents...they will fight every decision, undermine every authority, encourage their children to "stand up & fight" until they get their way & stop at NOTHING to make sure their children get everything they ever WANTED because they can't bring themselves to say NO. This used to be called "spoiled". There are no more life lessons; children run the home now. We are all going to pay for this down the road; they are not being prepared for REAL LIFE. Sorry, I know that this may be foreign to most kids, but not everything in life is negotiable!
john smith
5:02 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
You are wrong! It is commendable that a group of kids are standing up and saying why can't we have a formal dance which has taken place for previous 30 years. All children should be heard but it seems you think they should fold their hands and never voice their opinions. It is wrong if they push it too far and act in a disrespectful manner which was not the case. Can anyone really say why it is bad for 14 year old's to want a nice formal event? You think they are "SPOILED" for wanting a formal dance. Give me a break! The principle should explain his decision if asked to no matter who asks the questions since it is important to many of the kids.
4:41 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
123, I AM her parent. While my priorities and Rachel's differ greatly (as they should at our ages), I still commend her for trying to make a change to something she feels passionate about. I would ask you where, at 14, her priorities are out of line? To us, it is just a dance, but to some kids, it is a big deal.
6:14 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I too commend her for standing up for what she believes in ...but if her true priority is obviously not being together for possibly one last time but instead playing dress up.
Tewksbury Resident
6:01 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
john smith -YOU are wrong; I went to the "Jr. High" and it was NOT a formal dance back then. It IS disrespectful to bring children to an adult meeting, it IS disrespectful to argue because you don't LIKE what you heard and it IS disrespectful to plan a dance on the same night as the school's function. It is not spoiled to *want* a formal dance; it IS spoiled to not accept that you CAN'T HAVE IT. I believe the principal has already EXPLAINED that it was never meant to be a semi-formal affair (and it WASN'T when I attended, yet somehow we survived). The fact is, the students WERE heard (even though not invited), but were not satisfied that someone dared say "no"...they are not used to this! Now some parents, in all their wisdom, have encouraged them to fight on! Yeah - buck authority until you GET what you WANT. Do you not realize that the brain is not fully developed for executive decisions until you're in your 20's? There is a REASON that children need guidance at this age. I'd love to be there when your child starts asking their boss, college professor, sports official, etc. to "explain themselves". Enough! When you make a decision that's in the best interest of a child and you say it's not up for debate, it's OVER. There is way too much energy being wasted here. This is an excellent teaching moment, if parents will open their eyes! Life isn't always fair, but let's teach our children to ACCEPT what they can't change & not continually encourage them to cross the line.
6:24 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
123- I see it as being able to do both. I guess we will have to agree to disagree.
john smith
6:27 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Well I have a feeling your OPINION may not be shared by the majority. I too went to the "Junior High" and it was not officially a semi formal but many students did get dressed up and that has been the way it is for nearly 3 decades. Suddenly it is not ok? Absolutely question it and you do not have to agree with this principle or his decision regarding YOUR end of year dance. I am proud of these kids for asking why. It's is comical that you bring up executive decisions. I think a middle school aged student can think for themselves to some degree and your lack of respect for students is amazing. You state the obvious when you say that we adults make the decisions and kids have to learn to live with that. Meetings are meant for discussion and it is not disrespectful for the students to attend quietly in this case, if they are with their parents. You, me, other parents, and this principle, do not always know what is best for everyone. That is arrogance!
anonymous person
7:01 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Wow, all this over a dance with a changed format!!!! Where were all of you people when they closed the school library?
7:19 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
At the young age of 14; in my opinion; it is our duty as parents to help guide our children with their priorities. I applaud Rachel for standing up for what she believes in; but lets not pretend it's about being with the entire eighth grade before they enter into various high schools...if it was the attire wouldn't be an issue....the dance is still going on....
8:26 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Ok I go to the Wynn and right now I must say mr.weir is forming a dictatorship. Rachael is a classmate of mine and she's 100% correct that we should have a semi. I don't understand why mr.weir isn't allowing it. And to all of you saying we don't like the answer well he never answered he has no reason he's just being inconsiderate. It's our last chance to have everyone in one room together before we all move on and the fact he's not letting that happen is absurd. It's just ridiculous it's our dance not his he has no reason to cancel it it'd raise money for our school but now no one is going to attend it. Everyone is going to our semi and the teachers can't do anything about it. Mr.Weir has to think this through and by the way I'd hate to have to mention to the patch about the drug problem in our school and how Mr.Weir does nothing about it. All in all he's a horrible principal
8:47 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
He did answer ....the answer was no to the semi yes to a year end dance with everyone in the room ... as far as the drug problem perhaps you were absent on the day the drug sniffing dog was there.
8:45 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Let's talk about the drugs issue. That is much more important.
9:13 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
I think the kids were just asking to stick with tradition, it has been a semi for a long time. What the heck is this tie dye stuff.
I think maybe the principal should worry about things like Drugs and The threats they are getting every other week.
Give the kids there traditional semi formal dance.
9:15 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
And by the way before you ask yes Donna I do have kids in the school system.
9:38 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Mr Weir is not being inconsiderate, he is setting rules. He has not taken away your end of year celebration, he has actually extended your celebration from a 3 hour long dance to an all day event. Has he set rules preventing you from coming in a fancy dress? Yes he has. Is that being inconsiderate? No! The behavior you are all exhibiting is inconsiderate. The school does NOT have to give you a dance at all, has anyone thought of that? What will you all do if this back fires and they call off all your end of year celebrations completely instead of just setting a theme? When my daughter was there they had themes the kids didn't like but you make the best of it, be grateful for what you are given and you say thank you regardless if you like it or not. Those that don't want to participate in the "tie-dye dance" need not attend. Those that attend the student/parent thrown party should be prohibited from attending any dance the schools throws. If the dance wasn't good enough in the first place then they shouldn't be allowed in to bring their negativity into the festivities.
*And again, this dance has NEVER been officially dubbed a semi, it is what the kids have dubbed it, administration has never recognized it as such.*
Bill can you confirm with the school committee if they have ever in writing officially declared this a "semi-formal" dance? I think by verifying this maybe the kids/parents will see, they are not being jipped of the "semi" they believe everyone else had.
john smith
9:54 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
everyone knows already Amy, no verification necessary. It was never actually called a semi formal event, but we all know it was for many who attended for many many years. It was never problem until now when this Principle has decided that he really does not care what the kids might want because he knows best. This just shows how out of touch he is with his student body. Open your ears and put your ego aside. The kids just want to have a dance like their sisters and mothers had and enjoy the years they have before they have to deal with real dissapointments and real world problems. I mean really people, why not?
John Moulaison
9:57 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
Its amazing to me a simple question was never answered , " why " . Why did Mr Weir not answer the kids question ? The kids were invited and acted respectful at the meeting from what I have heard . Its to bad Mr Weir did not do the same
Tewksbury Resident
8:01 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
John - sometimes things are best left unsaid. What if several parents had approached Mr. Weir because they could not afford the event if it were semi-formal? Many families are experiencing hardship but would like to maintain a shred of dignity. Would you think their kids should be left out because of their socio-economic status? Do you think Mr. Weir needs to divulge this to the students (so it ultimately turns into a witch hunt) or is he bound to keep this in confidence?
10:41 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
The interest that this "controversy" is causing is frankly ludicrous and embarrassing. If the parents in this town showed the same interest in the poor MCAS scores heck! We might be able to compare to Andover. The amount of attention this petty dispute has raised is a poor reflection of this town and its values. Sincerely disappointed in the immature adults who have commented
john smith
7:03 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
You took the time to right that! That is ridiculous! There is an issue that has raised some concern and you want to change the subject. Academics will always come first and every parent I know shares that sentiment, but does that mean we forget about and ignore other things?
12:17 pm on Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I was similarly amused with parents so upset with this minor issue.
We understand that this is off topic but the point is how come parents do not
come out with their opinions/suggestions so forcefully on the not-so-great- MCAS score .... town-wide.
Does is it reflects our priorities?
11:05 pm on Friday, January 18, 2013
123- I don't think your getting the point she doesn't care about dressing up and neither does anyone else we all just want to see each other all together one last time before we all go our separate ways and no the question wasn't answered why can't we have one is it simply because he doesn't want to... And for the drug problem the sniffing dogs do nothing he's aware of the kids who do drugs but he just doesn't do anything about it he is being inconsiderate were the students the dance is supposed to be for us not for him. And we all know there was never technically a semi formal but the idea is to look nice and say bye to everyone I just don't see what you don't understand
8:49 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
If the attire isn't the issue then what is...the dance was not cancelled...it appears that it's a bunch of spoiled townie kids who aren't getting their way are throwing a temper tantrum. If every adult took the time to explain to every child every decision that they made that the child didn't agree with where would we be?
8:26 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
If you nothing nice to say about this issue then please dont comment.
8:44 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
To john smith: that is not ridiculous it is a poignant statement on what the town of Tewksbury's values see to be. Few issues have ever raised so much controversy and few issues have ever had such little importance. My comment was directed towards those who seem to take this matter far too seriously and suggesting to them that maybe they should maybe focus more on the towns poor academic scores. Just a thought.
john smith
2:32 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Well anonymous, issues like this are what land on sites like the patch because like the news, it sparks interest. Academics are more of an individual topic even though we are compared to other towns as an entire system. Dances and other similar events affect the entire student body. There will always be high achieving students, kids you just get by, and worse. My point to you was that academics are not being discussed right now, a local event that involves all the students is subject to a bit of controversy. That does not mean the parents do not think about or focus on academics or that as you suggest their priorities are not in the right place. Just because it is not relevant or important in your eyes does not mean the opinions or efforts of others are "embarrassing", as you put it.
8:52 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Tie dye dance? That sounds old school. Is this principal a former hippie, dead head? Lol! Come on, let the kids dress up if they want. Hope this turkey is gone by the time our daughter gets into the Wynn!
Steve Crane
9:33 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Should government run school systems devote resources paid for by tax dollars to sponsor things like dances? There is a clear demand for dances in town, why not let private industry do these things? Instead of the outrage directed at bureaucrats like John Weir, the way to protest would be to simply stop patronizing the dances. Merrimack Valley Pavilion just opened and seems to be operated by townies, what a perfect way for them to launch their business.
In how many other schools does the principal choose dance themes?
How does one draw the line between standing up for what you want and believe in, and being disrespectful to authority?
11:02 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
The parent advisory group gets the volunteers and the students either pay $5 or so for tickets or it's covered by the fundraising for the PAC (I think it's ticket sales). And I don't believe anyone said these students were disrespectful in presenting their questions during the meeting. I believe the non-answers given by the principal is actually more disrespectful to the students that were in attendance, as well as his condencending and domineering attitude he responded with.
10:59 am on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Rachel, Like when I call Comcast, when I don't agree with the answer (or non-answer) given, I speak to a supervisor. And when I don't agree again, I keep moving up the chain. Request to be put on the agenda for the school committee meeting and have them request the superintendent and principal be present. Publicize that you are on the agenda and request support from the other students and parents.
If they still won't change the dance to be a normal dance like it always has been (it was never officially a semi, but an end of year dance and people dressed up if they chose to). Then the school can host the event as they planned and the supporters will rally with you and a separate dance can be planned and hosted.
I applaud you for questioning why. It's a skill that will bring you far in whatever career you choose. A dance theme may seem insignificant to some people, however it's refreshing to see young people respectfully asking questions. You may not get it changed, perhaps there are a majority of students who like this change, but you never know if no one attempts to get the information.
Good luck!
1:29 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Its unfortunate that's Mr. Weir felt the need to dictate the end of the year event. It would have been nice if there were a few options on a ballot of some sort that the 8th graders could vote on and then the majority rules. Pretty sure this event is for the "kids". Rachel you know I stand by you 100% always stand true for what you believe in your parents raised a remarkable young lady and should be proud of you.
Kristin M
3:42 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
This sounds like a great story for FOX 25 news ! The 8th grade semi formal has been a tradition for years, and all of a sudden with no warning or explaination Mr Weir has decided to do away with it ? Come on, what is this teaching or showing the children of this town. Tewksbury was featured on FOX's zip trip one year...I'm sure they'd love to come back !
5:59 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
I say Mr Weir please resign before you are more of a embarrassment to this town.
Mary b
10:23 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Are you kidding me? That is not what are kids need to hear. All they need to hear is there is still a dance and understand that authority has spoken. Talk about making the end of the year dance another controversial issue with some of the "beautiful people" in this town! If you feel your girls need to wear dresses, have them make tie dye dresses and your problem is solved. One last thing - please stop disrespecting your child's principle because to me it is disturbing that adults would do that in front of
their children.
Mike C
10:41 pm on Saturday, January 19, 2013
Or bring back the other mr ware if anyone remembers him at least the students actually liked him
3:37 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
Please do not call a news station over this! It is not like they are not getting a dance...they just aren't getting the dance they want. I think people have taken this to far. Take at step back and look at the situation...with all that goes on in this world this really is not some huge injustice. It is really good that the atudents fought for what they wanted but in life things don't always go the way we want them to. It is time to be respectful and move on and be thankful they get an end of year celebration.
6:03 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
Katy very well said. Sadly I think all the negativity people have shown on this site, parents and students included have only damaged their chances of getting what they wanted. I have seen people make ridiculous calls for Mr. Weirs resignation because of a dance which is appalling. I think the superintendent and the school committee need to stand behind Mr. Weir and the PAC's decision on the theme that has been decided on. I have said it it previous posts and I will say it again, every year a theme is set for this dance, the only thing different this year is the school formally putting down their foot to say no fancy dresses. Its time everyone moves on and the children and their parents accept the answer.
4:13 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
I am the mother of an eigth grade girl. Our children are trying to grow up too fast. Their time will come in high school. The kids have us exactly where they want us, divided. It is our job as parents to protect our children. It is our responsibility to back up the principal. United is the front these children need to see. Part of the problem today is our children think they can get what ever they want. I am guilty of indulging my children at times when I should not. Let us make a united front standing behind our principal. Is it such a bad idea to have a dance in tye dye t-shirts instead of provacative attire? Good for you Mr. Weir for standing up for what you believe in and having the best interest of our children in mind
Kristin M
7:34 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
"Good for you Mr. Weir for standing up for what you believe in and having the best interest of our children in mind"
Are you kidding? Mr Weir refuses to be accountable for his decision...he refuses to answer questions from the parents and students ! A united front standing behind our principal ? HAHAHAHAHA ! My Weir has lost any respect he had from the 8th graders ! Again, Mr Weir took away a tradition in this town .
4:27 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
Oh yeah an fox news and CNN have already been contacted and they will be running a story on this on tuesday
Bill Gilman
4:34 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
Several comments have been removed from this stream due to violation of terms of service. Guys, we don't tolerate foul language and name calling. You're better than that.
8:11 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
I wish that the dance would just go back to a semi, whether it was in writing or not. Don't you think these kids are going to have to deal with enough rules any regulations in there lives, let them have the semi. Growing up is hard enough why does the principal have to do this.
8:46 pm on Sunday, January 20, 2013
Mr Weir doesn't even live in this town that's why he turns a blind eye to the frug problem at the Wynn school.He doesn't want his job taking away so he can afford his house in a different town.I along with other parents believe if he lived in town he would not be so arrogant and so condescending and rude when taxpayers ask him simple questions.I also believe he should resign
10:23 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Mark, What does where he lives have to do with his job? Do all TPD live in Tewksbury? Maybe the town has a drug problem because all the cops don't live in town and care about the drugs? Dumb!
I don't know how I feel on this. Part of me says he is the principal/CEO of the school and has every right to do with the dance as he sees best. The other part sees where it would have been better if he articulated why. Either way I wouldn't question his decision based on where he lives.
city guy
8:16 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Really, this is all you parents have to do is complain about a dance? Parents are really arguing over semi formal or tie dye? As a parent of an 8th grader shaking my head at these parents, swearing, threatening and now calling out Mr Weir as to where he lives? How can you hold your head up high and teach your children values? When you say no to them are they allowed to go and complain to someone else? When you as parents say no, are they allowed to voice themselves on a site under false names? Grow up parents, worry about the major drug issue going on, your kids getting into a whole lot worse than having to wear a dreaded tie dye shirt? All I can say is Thank you Mr Weir for standing up to these parents who have shown nothing but total disrespect!!!!!
john smith
8:49 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Not all the parents have shown disrespect. I agree the tone has taken an unnecessary nasty tone which is not how it began at all. The parents who are chiming in with real negativity are not helping what was a sincere issue from the students. This is typical unfortunately.
Bob Rauseo
10:49 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
So, you are using a false name to complain about people using false names to complain about not getting their way.
What kind of role-modelling is that?
Joe Bill
8:42 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
This is gross and a true reflection of how parenting has now turned into appeasing your children. Wonder why kids don't have any respect today. They should have cancelled the foolish dance. Or maybe have the dance but test all the children for drugs and alcohol as it sounds like the school has some issues. What am embarrassment. Whining kids, supported by helicopter parents...all over attire for some foolish dance. Will there be drug sniffing dogs at the dance? We all should be embarrassed by what this town has become.
12:42 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
AMEN to that! Get a grip people! There are SO many more significant priorities to deal with both with our kids AND Town-wide.
8:52 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Kudos Cityguy!!! I too have an 8th grader at the Wynn... I couldn't have said it better myself
10:10 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Hats off to Tewksbury Resident, city guy, Joe Bill and some others for good sense, cogency and the correct approach to this issue that is otherwise an exercise in selfishness, disrespect and enpowering children whose time would be better spent doing homework and paying attention in class.
To illustrate, I point out the grammatical mess and abysmal lack of writing skills demonstrated by Wynnstudent123 who seems to be another product of misplaced parental priorities and misguided ambition. If it was not so sad, it would be laughable that the student actually feels such a sense of entitlement backed by parents whose attacks on Mr. Weir are essentially ignorant and repulsive...darn disgusting!
Teaching children that what they think does matter as long as they are also taught to respect authority and to accept decisions that tilt their toy box. Unfortunately, It is a balancing act that some parents here cannot seem to grasp.
Joe Bill
10:40 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Maybe the students and their parents could dress in Tie Dye and protest outside the school? It may trigger flashbacks to Nam though. It could be quite funny, a bunch of whiners holding misspelled signs.
10:35 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
Please resign mr weir before you make your school any worse than it already is. Hope all the kids turn on you and no one goes to the tie dye dance
11:04 am on Monday, January 21, 2013
For the record, I was in disagreement with how the Principal handled the situation and how he addressed the students and parents in attendance. They were not given any consideration. I do not have any problem with the students politely following the acceptable process and asking why and asking him to change his mind. That is not being disrespectful. Him not answering is.
It has nothing to do with appeasing spoiled children, because a thoughtful explanation for the change, as well as why there was lack of student involvment in the decision was all that was requested.
3:39 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
Well said. The kids just want to know why, then it might be easier to accept. The ignoring the question is the big problem.
city guy
4:02 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
Bob R you are the same guy who waffled on street plowing last week on 2 different posts. One commending the DPW and the other bashing that schoolwasn't delayed as the streets were not plowed. When will you start to waffle on this issue? LOL
9:16 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
Resign over a dance for little kids? Give me a break.
Bill Gilman
9:40 pm on Monday, January 21, 2013
OK folks. Let's reel this back a bit. Enough with the personal attacks. A debate over the issue is fine. But the personal attacks on Mr. Weir or anyone else are out of line. We can disagree without being disagreeable. Thanks.bg
Tom DeVeau
8:15 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Would the resolution here be to simply call it the "8th Grade End of the Year Dance"?
Wear whatever you want, get there however you want. Put restrictions on certain articles of clothing but this would allow kids who want to dress up, to dress up and kids who don't, to not dress up. Seems like the best of both worlds for everyone involved.
Sheryl Logiudice Liggiero
8:48 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tom, that was a question that was brought up at the meeting. Mr Weir said NO. And it was not up for discussion. Bottom line is, that's all we asked for. Why can't they dress nice??
Bill, I'm truly sorry this has turned into people bashing. Some people are just ridiculous.
Donna Wilson
11:11 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Wow, I now see where the children in this town get their immaturity and entitlement from. As parents you should be ashamed with the name calling and calls for resignation. Seems like the kids aren't the only ones who need to grow up!!!
11:18 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
People, people, people, really!!! I have an 8th grader, and he could care less about what happens at the end of the yr. He and friends said all the girls want to call it a semi formal..Going back as long as I lived in Tewksbury it was never officially called a semi formal period.It was just an end of the yr dance. Some boys dressed up and some didn't..Girls however did and still do go overboard however it is up to the child and the parent on what they want to wear, but of course it actually has to fit the child and be appropriate. As long as they are having fun who cares. Parents please stop bashing the principal in public. All these kids that read the patch are now obviously talking about this in school and that's all you need is for one of your kids to turn around and call the principal an asshole to their friends and the they get suspended. Is that what you really want to teach your kids. I know for me, respect is a huge part of growing up. Especially outside of our home. I also know in order to get respect you have to earn it. I do agree they should have something at the end of the school yr but why does it matter so much as to what it is as long as the kids are together. The parents care more about this issue then the kids. Yea there are some previous students from voicing their opinions on how much they enjoyed the dance, but yea so did my daughter back then. But parents, bashing the principal is not helping your children you're only pissing him off more.
11:26 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
175 comments on this topic? move on people...and asking the principal to resign over a 'dress up' dance? yikes...dont we have more things to worry about?
11:28 am on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Denise simply put..basically was trying to say the same thing lol
12:36 pm on Wednesday, January 23, 2013
I agree.
In addition, I would ask parents to involve as much in the upcoming MCAS.
12:32 pm on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
I am sure there are plenty of kids that are relieved it is not a semi-formal event. I am sure there are many kids in town that can't afford it and are not comfortable with it. Those people are less likely to speak up but i would guess there are many that are happy with the decision.
7:29 pm on Tuesday, January 22, 2013
This is a great picture of what is wrong with our society - parents encouraging children to go against a decision made by a person in an authoritative position. Give them what they want, when they want it, and make sure you give them extra too. Make sure when they hurt someone, that you defend them by saying they didn't mean it. When they get caught with drugs or alcohol, defend them by saying that they are "just being kids". For the love of god, people - be a parent, and not a friend. Teach them that although, yes, they can be heard - that they need to respect their elders and respect authority. This is the generation that will be running the country when we are all old - now THAT will be interesting.....
Sheryl Logiudice Liggiero
9:33 am on Thursday, January 24, 2013
Aren't you the one that that thinks it's o.k. for a person to own a machine gun??? Also the one that agrees the elementary schools shouldn't do a moment of silence for The victims of Newtown??? Maybe you shouldn't be discussing anything that has to do with our children.
By the way, people need to give respect in order to receive it. Respect goes both ways, and is not just for adults to receive but children as well.
Courtney Spinelli
10:29 am on Thursday, January 24, 2013
I applaud what Rachel and the other 8th graders are doing by standing up for what they believe in. I cannot imagine going back to eighth grade and having a tie-dye dance in the place of our semi-formal. It was one of my greatest memories of the middle school and I even had the opportunity to help put together the semi-formal in both the eighth and seventh grade. This event an unbelievable send-off as we prepared ourselves to become mature, young adults and venture off into a new chapter in our life. For those of you who are bashing this event, I'm assuming you probably don't have a child, sibling, or even relative who attends the middle school. With that said, my sister is an 8th grader this year, and more specifically, one who attended the meeting on Thursday night. I can only hope that she and her classmates get the opportunity to attend a semi-formal dance, and if not, I congratulate them on standing up and voicing their opinions.
Bruce Panilaitis
11:27 am on Thursday, January 24, 2013
I served with Mr. Weir on the Wynn School Council for 3 years and found him to be a dedicated professional, and I remember comments then from fellow parents about students overdoing it with the dance. It is disappointing to see parents publicly bashing the principal over a dance. While I have no daughters, I can imagine the pressure parents of daughters would be under to spend money they don't have so their daughter would "fit in" with those that overdo it. I applaud the students involved for standing up for their beliefs but the Prinicpal has made a decision and it is time to move on. I hope Mr. Weir stands by his decision and the School Committee comes out publicly to support their prinicipal and put this to rest.
6:57 pm on Thursday, January 24, 2013
Bruce, you are right on the money. My daughter is now a sophmore in college, but I remember the 8th grade "semi-formal" quite well. I admit, I may have gone overboard, and I shouldn't have. We had her hair done at the salon, bought a beautiful cocktail dress, etc. We got there and saw limos dropping groups off. Could I afford it then? Absolutely not. Did I want her to fit in and not be made fun of? Absolutely.
Having an end of year dance is great - but keep it in the parameters that involve everyone (not just the "haves" as mentioned above).
Courtney, no one is bashing the dance. We are simply discussing reasonable ways for everyone to be able to enjoy the event, and the complete lack of respect towards elders and authority figures. That, I feel, is the most important issue at hand.
Jane Doe
9:41 am on Sunday, January 27, 2013
Absolutely Denise - and also Bruce - everyone in the military is "Green" so that everyone is the same. This is so when they work together - they arent concerned with the social status or who has what. It is based on integrity and performance as a person. You have respect for your leadership whether you agree or not. This is like "Toddlers and Tiaras" - sickening. Teach your child to be appreciative of what they have. Food, a roof over their head, education and medical care. Not that they have to meet the expectations of their A.) peers but even worse B.) their parents (most likely cheering them on living vicariously) - I am just so sure that all of these parents that want to be so supportive of their children being able to "wear what they want" would be equally as supportive if their son wanted to wear a nice cocktail dress or their daughter wanted to rent her outfit from Mr Tux - oh wait ... Im sure they only believe in "wearing what you want" only to where their needs are met. This is why so many kids are disrespectful to the adults and of authority. It is great to fight for what you want when it is wrong - but this is really not that big of a deal when I login to my email 10 days later to see a kazillion comments - mostly parents supporting their kids keep the caste system going. Maybe some of you could volunteer at a homeless shelter - see how many homeless kids are integrated in our school systems across the state. Again - I applaud Mr Weir
wendy spinelli
11:41 am on Monday, January 28, 2013
Jane Doe,
You are very brave with your comments when you don't reveal your identity, a very cowardly way to post your views in my opinion. For your information, I have volunteered in a homeless shelter as has my husband. My children are taught values and have been taught to appreciate the "roof over their head" and the "food on the table" as well as the other children whose parents are in favor of keeping the tradition of the end of the year dance. It is very easy to run your mouth or accuse everyone of bad parenting when your hiding behind an alias. If your going to post a comment publically and accuse people (not sure if you even know any of them personally as you don't use your real name) of being bad parents and not teaching values you should at least own it . Were you at the meeting? if you were, maybe you would feel differently about the parents who attended. They were there in attendance to discuss the dance and the options available to the kids. Not one parent was there to live "vicariously through their kids". It was not about parents allowing the kids to wear what they want. Again if you were at the meeting you would know that wasn't what was said at all. Parameters and rules would have been set with regard to the dress code as they have been in the past. In no way is this a mimic of "toddlers and tiara's". Your comments are rediculous.
Tewksbury Resident
1:31 pm on Sunday, January 27, 2013
You must goodle "words for teenagers"; courtesy of principal John Tapene. The ending that wasn't printed: "You're supposed to be mature enough to accept some of the responsibility your parents have carried for years.
They have nursed, protected, helped, appealed, begged, excused, tolerated and denied themselves needed comforts so that you could have every benefit. This they have done gladly, for you are their dearest treasure.
But now, you have no right to expect them to bow to every whim and fancy just because selfish ego instead of common sense dominates your personality, thinking and request. In Heaven's name, grow up and go home"!
Jane Doe
8:27 am on Saturday, February 2, 2013
Ah Ms Spinelli, many a great author wrote under a "nom de plume" - Mark Twain, George Orwell, George Sand, Loisa May Alcott, Mary Shelley etc.
The words "bad parenting" did not appear in my response, amazing how it came to mind in your thinking. I do not need to publicize my name not out of "cowardice" (please), I choose "privacy" and ... my right to it. I also do not have a facebook (nor do my children) because it is a preference of privacy. Throw your identity out there and be judged by others - wasn't this part of the conversation at hand? Opinions being formed. I, with Jane Doe, am essentially wearing my tie dye shirt. I am not going to be judged by you or anyone else this way. You could be my neighbor, sit next to me in church and shake my hand, my child's best friend's mother. Why would I want to change any of that because of difference of opinion? Bravo, you put your name on your comments. I prefer privacy, not hiding, privacy.
Thank you "Tewksbury Resident" (must be hiding their name too!) I found the John Tapene article. Perfectly stated.
Jane Doe
8:27 am on Saturday, February 2, 2013
"Northland College Principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth:
'Always we hear the cry from teenagers "What can we do, where can we go?"
'My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.
'The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words, grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important, you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!'
4:23 pm on Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Not sure what is going on here. It seems we lose sight of simple things in life. We all had semi dances growing up and we all had a good time. It is very hard for me to understand why the the 8th graders are not allowed to have a semi. If they would like to dress up then let them. I find everytime I turn around something has changed. Don't ever call a Junior Prom a "Junior Prom" - it isn't anymore it is a Junior Semi. Please tell me why? We have so much more to focus on in our schools to think we are all worried over a dance that the kids just want to dress up. Who really cares. Let them. I as a parent would prefer this event to happen at the Wynn school and not at some hall. This to me is driving the kids away. This is not what team building is about. Maybe there is a happy medium that could be reached.
5:32 pm on Tuesday, June 18, 2013
This is not your "last dance". You're only in 8th grade for crying out loud. It may be hard to believe now, but you have your whole life ahead of you. Trust me, there will be plenty of dances. Also, plenty of proms and weddings--and so many weddings that you'd have wished you opted for tye dye because you are going to be so sick of glitzy dress shopping by then. I understand the kids are sad and all. Mr. Weir is far from a scumbag. Gosh. Is that really appropriate? He's the boss. Get over it.