text:
In Her Prime
Featuring Elizabeth Banks, Salma Hayek, Britney Spears, Heather Graham, Natalie Portman and Elisha Cuthbert
Written by Hearsz
Codes: MF, MMF, Oral, BJ, Fingering, Creampie, Facial, Titfuck, Doggie, Anal, DP
Disclaimer: This FICTIONAL story was written for entertainment purposes only
A/N: Like RobertDoc's "Banging In The New Year" series posted last year, I've decided to do my own little collection of short stories. Each of the six stories are not set on the same day, rather they all have the same theme.
Basically, I've used a certain point in the careers of each celebrity chosen, where I personally think they looked their very best. So I've turned their well known roles into their real occupation.
Rather than play a character, I have used their real name and matched them with the job/role that they played in a particular movie or film clip. You could view these stories as an "alternate scene", as opposed to what we see in the final cut. Enjoy!
Elizabeth Banks
Saturday was the day of the week I always looked forward to. Mainly because me and the guys I worked with at the electronics store would hit the town, trying our best to pick up chicks, and if not, at least try and have a good night out.
My success rate with the ladies wasn't a good as my three friends, not helped by how shy and reserved I could be. I didn't really drink that much but the times that I did I would either be sent home in a taxi, or have enough courage to chat to a girl long enough that she'd invite me back to her place.
I've never been into the real, kinky dirty stuff before, but that was all set to change when I finally got to chat to Elizabeth that night.
She was employed in the bookstore across from where I worked, and it took a while before I made the move to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed to find me charming, giving me a sexy smile whenever I provided some charismatic lines, and she had a laugh that would make any guy putty in her hands.
I'd checked her out many times before that first conversation, noticing her silky lavender coloured thong peaking out of the back of her tight jeans.
I'd had quite a few drinks by the time I ran into her at the club, not feeling any nerves as we immediately began talking up a storm right there at the bar.
She too seemed like she'd had a bit to drink, especially with the way she touched my shoulder, twirled her hair in her fingers and playfully smacked my chest when I made a humorous remark.
"So how's your night going?"
"Well it's, gotten much better now that you're here.." she responded, looking at me with those mesmeric blue eyes of hers.
I couldn't take mine off of her, the gorgeous hottie wearing a pink see through number, enabling me to see her blue bra and showing off her sexy looking midriff.
Somehow, Elizabeth convinced me into doing tequila shots with her not once, but twice!
Before I knew it, we were on the dancefloor, the horny blonde grinding her delicious body against mine.
I wasn't sure what led to it but before I knew it we were sloppily making out right there in the crowd of people, not caring who was watching.
"Let's take this party back to my place.." she whispered in my ear, guiding me off the dance floor and out of the club, as we somehow made it into the awaiting taxi.
The ride was a bit of a blur as we spent the entire ride kissing and feeling each other up, Elizabeth squeezing my stiff cock through my shorts whilst I fondled her soft supple breasts.
We were in her apartment next and soon enough in her bedroom, tearing each other's clothes off, one piece at a time.
Her body, clad in just her underwear was just as hot as I imagined. She had nice succulent thighs, a well toned stomach and the most gorgeous face I'd ever laid eyes on.
And when she spun around for me, her delicious rump looked firm and tasty enough to bite into.
"I feel real dirty tonight.. Why don't you join me in the bath?" she requested, not waiting for a response from me. She removed her bra and slipped off her panties, her back facing me as she hopped into the spa bath.
It was already covered in bubbles which she used to cover her naked chest. I began to sway as I watched her, the alcohol really kicking in and knocking me about.
"C'mon. Come join me.." she urged, giving me that addictive laugh of hers that made it harder for me to resist her. Not that I wanted to.
I slid down my boxer shorts, my cock already stiff and at full mast.
"Mmm... Mumma likes", she said with a sparkle in her eyes as I hopped into the warm wet surroundings of her bubble bath.
Elizabeth wasted no time in straddling me, her soaked naked body feeling so good on top of mine. I was able to feel her private parts for the first time, her pert breasts against my chest and her hairless cunt rubbing against my cock as she enthusiastically mingled her tongue with mine.
"God I'm so fucking horny. I want your hard fucking cock inside me!!"
Elizabeth had a lustful fire in her eyes, like she was possessed by a sexual demon. With my back against the wall of the bath, I could only watch as she moved up to sit on my cock. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as my hard steely member was impaled by this incredibly sexually driven woman.
"Oooh it's so deep in my cunt.." she exclaimed, unashamedly dropping obscenities wherever possible.
She grounded her hips against mine, riding me like crazy so that some of the bath water splashed out onto the tiled floor.
"Oh yeah, give me that cock!!" she wailed, bucking upon me like a bronco.
"Ohhh God, yes, yes, YES!!!!" Elizabeth wailed as she reached a premature climax.
Hopping off me, she had me stand up in the bathtub so my long soapy shaft was exposed, almost in line with her satisfied face.
"You're so dirty. You need a good clean. Let me start down here", she purred, taking my pulsing staff in her hand, jerking it a few times before taking me inside her warm mouth.
"Ohhh Elizabeth", I groaned, loving the way she sucked me with ease, using just her mouth without the aid of either of her hands.
She played with my wet balls as she fellated me, looking up with me with those stunning blue eyes as she licked the swollen head.
Elizabeth made a show of it, smacking the tip against her tongue before resuming her wonderful blowjob. I grunted when she took me all the way, somehow fitting in every inch so her throat slightly bulged, her cute little nose pressed against my belly.
Taking a bar of soap, Elizabeth lathered up my cock, my length and my pubic bush was covered in suds as she tenderly jerked me. Her fingers paid attention to the sensitive spongy head, making sure every crevice was as clean as possible.
"Time to get real dirty if ya know what I mean?" she laughed, before turning around, bracing her hands on the edge of the tub, and presenting me her peachy rear.
"You want me to...??"
"Uh-huh. I want your cock in my tight little butt", she teased, twerking her delicious white derrière.
I'd never tried anal before but I got this sneaking suspicion that Elizabeth already had, given how nonchalant she was with her sordid request.
"I've got you all clean and slick. Just stick it in stud.."
Elizabeth grabbed both her lovely cheeks, spreading them to expose her tight little asshole.
Nervously, I pressed the mushroom shaped head at her puckered hole as I got in close behind her.
"Uhh geezus fucking christ!!" I grunted, feeling her anus open up and envelop my head, tightly gripping me.
The soap that she'd so generously covered my length in seemed to help, as I was able to bury inch after incredible inch inside of Elizabeth's tight back passage.
"Uhh that's it, fuck my ass!" she cried then laughed, her kinky nymph like personality unlike any person I'd ever met before.
We continued fucking like rabbits, soon taking this party into the boudoir, Elizabeth once again on top of me on her bed with my dick being ridden by her loosened shitter.
She was absolutely wild under the sheets, laughing like a maniac, even slapping me when I didn't pound her hard enough.
Watching Elizabeth rub at her fleshy pink pussy with my cock buried in her ass was all I could take, soon exploding copious amounts of cum inside of her backdoor.
Salma Hayek
We had been driving around all day, mile after mile of the Mexican desert as far as the eye could see.
My friend, Jose, a Mexican himself, pulled up the car, in front of what looked like a biker bar, given the amount of motorcycles parked out front.
It was an interesting place to say the least, plenty of leather and denim jackets, tattooed blokes with long graying beards, chugging down countless amounts of beer.
Suddenly, the rooms attention was focused on the main stage, as the bars announcer introduced what the locals knew was the "highlight of the night", of every night as it turned out.
The room fell silent as every person present waited for her to appear. You could hear a pin drop it was that quiet. And then, "she" made her way on stage.
Like most of the guys, and some girls in the room, my mouth dropped and eyes widened as the curvy figure of the Latino temptress strutted on stage.
She wore a two piece maroon coloured bra and underwear set, gold jewellery around her upper arm and delicious looking neck.
I felt my cock start to harden as I looked her up and down, salivating at her taut stomach and huge succulent breasts. But when she turned around to showcase that incredible heart shaped ass of hers, I thought I was going to pass out.
"Who is she?" I whispered to my friend.
"She is known as Salma. She's the main entertainment every night. Bikers come from all over the country and even over the border just to see her show".
"She's incredible..."
"If you think that's something, every night she picks one guy, and sometimes even a female to take backstage for a private show. No sex, but one amazing lap dance. At least that's what I've heard".
There had to be at least two hundred people in here tonight, plenty of which had been here several times before.
A collective gasp was shared by the crowd as Salma was handed a twelve foot long Python, holding the yellow and white coloured reptile over her shoulder.
Her insatiable body swayed to the music, the sultry bare footed goddess walking up and down the runway.
"So how does she decide?", I asked, intrigued at how I could draw enough attention to myself to be tonight's chosen one.
"She doesn't choose, the Python does. Always has".
I despaired, knowing that it was out of my hands. Still, I knew I'd never forget this woman no matter what happened from here.
The Python began to make its move, extending its body over the crowd of onlookers. Unfortunately it was on the opposite side to where we were standing. At least I could concentrate my attention on that perfect derrière on hers.
But suddenly, the snake had a change of heart, directing its attention to our side, it's tongue flickering out of its mouth as it hovered above us.
When it locked eyes on me I thought I was done for. Or that it must be heading towards someone behind me. Before I knew it, the Python was face to face with me, hissing softly and unmoving.
"It's you amigo", Jose said.
I could see the look of envy and anger on everyone's faces as I made my way through the crowd, Salma extending her hand to help me up onto the stage.
The pythons trainer took the long scaly animal from her, the buxom beauty relieved that the weight had literally been lifted from her shoulders.
Taking my hand again, Salma walked me back down the platform, to the back of the stage and through the velvet curtains.
I couldn't help but gaze at her perfect ass, her tender lumps of flesh were separated by her underwear, a thong that could barely be seen in between her beautiful butt.
Salma guided me up some wooden stairs, almost like it was the attic of this particular establishment.
I soon deduced that this was her bedroom.
She sat me down on a chair that was mainly used for when she applied her lipstick and makeup. It was now positioned in the middle of the room, a couple of metres from her bed.
"So you're the lucky person that shall get some special treatment tonight. Just sit back and relax, and let me take care of you.."
Damn her accent was sexy. As was feeling that incredible body sitting in my lap, grinding it against my thighs and crotch. My penis began to quickly stiffen as she gyrated her wondrous figure upon me, working her underwear covered pussy along my swollen length.
Her huge titties, concealed in a bra occasionally smacked against my face, Salma's hands switching between holding my shoulders and wrapping them around my head.
"Feel good?" she asked as she continued to tease me.
"Hotter than hell!!"
I didn't know how I was going to feel after I left here tonight. It was probably just like every other guy who has ever gotten a lap dance before. Look, but don't touch, and no sex.
Then no doubt I'd get home and jerk off thinking about what it would be like to fuck that divine specimen.
But this was to turn out to be no ordinary lap dance.
"Touch me.." she said softly.
"Huh?" I replied, not sure if I heard her right.
"Don't be shy. I want to feel your hands on my body".
I looked behind me and around the room, paranoid that someone from security might be preparing to beat me up and throw me out if I began to man handle Salma.
"It's ok, you have nothing to worry about. It's just you and me here".
To my surprise, she slipped off her bra, releasing her perfect pair of breasts, capped with hard brown nipples.
She took my hands and put them on her chest. They felt so warm and soft, my fingers running around the outside of her impeccable globes.
Salma cooed when my fingertips lightly rubbed her taut nipples, only causing her to grind her body firmly against my solidified cock.
She ran her fingers through my hair as I continued to fondle her twins, soon feeling up her back, outer thighs then finally that delicious derrière of hers.
The Latino stripper seemed to love my caressing, so much so it led her to do something I'd only imagined in dirty dreams.
"Wanna show me that big Python of yours?" she asked, her hot sultry breath close to my ear, grinding her ass against my turgid length.
I sat there stunned, and when I didn't respond, Salma took it upon herself to unbutton my shorts, slide them down to my knees and fish my straining boner out of my underwear.
My head was spinning as her well manicured fingers stroked my thick pole, precum already leaking out of the tip.
I began to quiver as she kissed my neck whilst she jerked me off. My arousal was surging towards its peak when Salma slid down my frame, kneeling in between my legs.
She pushed her long hair behind her to one side, opened her mouth and took my cock in deep.
"Ohhh fuckk!!" I exclaimed, this amazing Mexican stripper going to town on my dick with her delectable tongue and tender lips. I had my hand on the back of her head as it bobbed up and down at a quickening pace.
Without a word, the sucking and slurping stopped all of a sudden. Salma stood before me, and to my complete disbelief she slid the last piece of clothing down her strong shapely legs, so her pussy, with a trimmed tuft of dark hair was staring me in the face.
"We don't have much time, I have to go back on stage again soon. Join me on the bed, I'm dying to fuck.."
And with that, Salma turned, that picturesque behind of her swaying from side to side, soon lifted upwards as she bent down on the bed, making it clear she wanted me to take her from behind to kick things off.
Like a shot I was out of the chair, losing my shirt quickly and soon standing behind the horny stripper.
I took a hold of my cock, rubbing the spongy tip against her moist slimy folds a few times.
We grunted out loud together as I buried my entire length inside her incredibly wet cunt.
"Nghhh, fuck! Que se siente increible!" she cried out, moaning in Spanish.
I ploughed my cock harder and harder inside of Salma, her ass rippling whenever my thighs smacked against her. I reached around to grab her huge tits as I railed into her, pinching the hard nubs that made her cry out more lustful phrases in Spanish.
Sweat poured off of my forehead and onto her back as I pummelled her from behind. She rubbed at her pussy and I occasionally felt her fingers against my sawing length that was drilling into her.
Before she could cum, I had her turn over so she was laying on her back. Scooting back between her scrumptious looking thighs, my cock was soon inside her again. This time around I got to see all her sexual expressions, her mouth was wide open when I was balls deep inside her.
I grabbed at her fleshy balloons whilst my thick girth pounded her lubricated hole, Salma having a loud orgasm in the midst of everything that was happening.
As her orgasm subsided, I slowed down my thrusts, wanting to know if there was still time left.
"Are you close?" she asked, knowing I hadn't cum yet.
"I was but I'll need to build things up again. Just need some inspiration".
Grabbing her tits, Salma pushed them together, then suggested.
"Then come up here and fuck my tits. I wanna feel you cum all over them"..
It was without a doubt the hottest thing any woman had ever said to me, and just the inspiration I needed!
Positioning myself on her stomach, I groaned when I felt her soft jugs close around my cum soaked prick.
I began moving my hips quickly, seeing the head of my dick occasionally peak out from in between her huge cleavage.
"C'mon cum for me, cream all over me baby", she said, urging me on.
"Grrrr ahhh", I grunted, my cock spasming and unloading a torrent of hot white sperm in between her perfect chest and up to her neck. I grabbed my shaft and began beating it like it owed me money, spewing out a couple more ropes of seed, painting Salma's sizzling chest on her upper neck and just underneath her chin.
Britney Spears
New York to Los Angeles, the overnight flight. I'd done this trip several times before for business.
But this was very much a trip for pleasure, a well earned vacation.
Just like most single males who travel by plane alone, you always hope that you'd get a hot stunning female
that is seated right next to you. It's a luck of the draw really. But despite numerous flights back and forth across the country, it still hasn't happened as yet. I usually get the fat slob or the nun with the religious facts, or that annoying bastard kid with the nonchalant parent to suffer the flight with.
Once the doors closed and the pilot had made his opening speech, I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn't get the hot chick next to me, but I did have the two seats to the left of my window seat, completely vacated. At least I'd be able to lie on an angle when I decided to get some sleep.
But I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep on this flight, well not right away.
I managed to not see her when I boarded, but out of the front cabin, a gorgeous looking blonde air hostess appeared from behind the curtain, walking down the aisle on the side of the plane I was sitting on.
She must have been one of the last to board the plane because there was no way in hell I could possibly miss seeing a sexy dame like that.
The girl, probably in her early to mid twenties, and like all the other hostesses, wore a silk retro blue dress.
Not just that, there was a lovely diamond shape cut out of the top to show off her lovely cleavage.
And the short dress showcased this girls incredible legs, that looked even more drool worthy when she walked away from me down the aisle.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her, especially when she stood only a meter or so from me during the pilot's "in case of an emergency evacuation" spiel. I couldn't help but notice her lovely eyes lock on mine a couple of times when she went through her rehearsed routine.
Like most passengers that fly frequently, I normally wouldn't bother watching or listening to the aircrew at this point, but the girl in front of me had my full attention. I looked in close to see her name tag.
"Britney.." I said softly to myself.
With a sexy but noticeable smile in my direction, she turned to take her seat in the cabin in preparation for take off.
Once in the air, I couldn't wait to see her again. This was going to be one hell of a flight I thought to myself.
About a half hour in to the flight, the hostesses re-appeared and began to hand out the pre-ordered dinner meals and take orders for drinks. I barely could get out a word when Britney asked me what I'd like to drink. She had a southerner accent which sounded incredibly sexy coming from her lips.
Even if I'd had the charm or confidence to chat her up, it was unlikely that I would do so in front of the male hostess, who was helping her with the cart that they shifted down our side of the aircraft.
As I was seated in the window seat, the two seats next to me were the unoccupied ones. This I soon realised was an even bigger plus, because when she brought back my meal, she had to lean across to hand it to me, granting me a heavenly view of her luscious hanging cleavage.
I think she noticed my stunned stare, but didn't seem to take offense. If anything she giggled at the fixed expression on my face. I briefly saw her again when she came to collect my finished meal and drinks.
By the time the main movie was playing up on the big screen, it was about two o'clock in the morning New York time, and I found myself beginning to tire. The business class lights had been switched off, with the odd passengers overhead lights switched on to help them read the novel or magazine that they'd brought on the flight.
A half hour later, I was sound asleep, a pillow pressed up against the window with my head resting against it.
I was startled out of my slumber when the air hostess of my dreams shook me lightly by the shoulders.
"Sorry to wake you Sir, but, I need you to come up to the front cabin. There's something you forgot to sign when you checked in. Again, my apologies for waking you".
Her voice was so incredibly sweet and sincere, and I found it impossible to be pissed off that I was woken up from a deep sleep. I followed Britney down the aisle, shamelessly checking out those shapely legs and that tight little ass of hers in that skirt, despite my bleary eyes.
Once behind the curtain, to my surprise, she opened up the staff toilet door, pushing me in it, hopping in herself, then locking it behind her. It was a lot bigger than the usual cramped up compartment that I'm used to when flying.
Before I could say a word, the gorgeous blonde threw off her hat, and began passionately making out with me, pressing me up against a wall.
Damn she smelled good. Her sweet intoxicating perfume only furthered her perfection. I suckled on her elegant neck, leaving the odd hickey on there, such was my desire for this insatiable woman. I spun her around, so her back was facing me. She teasingly rubbed her succulent ass up along my throbbing erection, making me moan out loud.
I pulled her towards me, clutching her soft supple breasts, Britney turned her face to one side so we could start making out anew. As I squeezed her tits, she wiggled her ass against my stiff cock, and I knew it was only a matter of time before the foreplay was soon to cease.
"Oh God just fuck me!!" she moaned, reaching underneath her skirt to slide down her pink cotton panties, her underwear stretched as it was suspended just underneath her knee caps. I lifted up her skirt, salivating at her shapely derriere as it was bent over before me, willing and ready.
In a flash I had my pants unbuckled, my boxers following them down to my ankles, my steely member flying out.
I put a hand on the small of Britney's back, taking a good look at her hourglass hips as I pressed the head of my shaft against her wet sopping lips.
We both cried out as I plunged my cock inside of her hot little cunt, almost completely impaling her in one single thrust. Going by the feeling of how warm and incredibly wet she was, Britney must have been hungry for some cock ever since she boarded the plane. I didn't know why, and quite frankly, I didn't care either. I just thanked the heavens that she chose me of all people to join the mile high club for the very first time.
"Ohh God harder!!" she begged me. I pumped my cock in faster, feeling her flawless buttocks smacking against me as I drilled her cunt relentlessly. Britney reached down to rub at her clit, clearly hoping the double stimulation would get her off quicker.
Like a bunch of fireworks exploding inside of her, I could feel Britney's inner walls begin to contract, her breathing in and out was faster, and her moans got increasingly louder.
"Oh my God, so good, cumming, yes!!" she screeched, gripping a railing on the wall tightly as she thrust her ass backward against my member, which was lathered in her secretions.
I managed to stop myself from following suit, even though I could feel a tingle in my balls that alerted me to how close I was to blowing my load. Once Britney had recovered, she turned and guided me to the opposite side of the cubicle, sitting me down on the toilet seat. My cock stood upright, glistening in her juices, still as hard as a rock.
"By the way, you've got one great cock there", she said. Before I could thank her, she was on her knees, my slippery cock in her hand, stroking my pole with her red nail painted fingers. Just her hand jerking me made my cock twitch.
I inhaled a deep breath when Britney took the head of my highly sensitive dick inside her glorious mouth, her pink lipstick covered smackers sucking me so exquisitely. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as she took my cock in deeper and deeper, her blonde mane buried in my lap as she deep-throated me with relative ease.
It was only then I remembered that I'd been inside her saucy cunt just a few minutes earlier, the slutty hostess licking and sucking away her own juices. She was slurping on my rod so perfectly, squeezing my balls to no doubt help coax the milk out of me quicker. Britney looked up at me as she licked and lapped at the spongy tip, and with those sparkling brown eyes, all of this was sure to set me off.
"Miss, I think I'm close.." I heaved, warning her of the inevitable in the middle of her wondrous suckling.
She stopped, looked up at me, and spoke.
"Just don't get any of it on my dress.." she replied, stroking my cock and opening her mouth wide, inviting me to shoot my load inside of it.
I had to steady myself as I was going all weak, holding her shoulder with one hand as she beckoned me to cream in her mouth. Britney alternated between sucking on the tip, massaging it with her lips and licking the bubbling slit.
When she jerked my turgid length and rested the head of my shaft on the top of her moist tongue, I knew I was about to explode.
"Uhhh fuck!!!" I grunted, spurting multiple ropes of seed down Britney's throat, flooding her mouth in my salty juices.
I was moaning for what felt like forever as she jerked and sucked out every last drop from my completely drained balls.
"Mmmmmm. Yummy!" she smirked, licking her lips. She stood up and straightened out her uniform, not saying anything further to me as she headed for the exit. Discreetly looking outside to make sure the coast was clear, she casually stepped out, closing the door behind her.
Once I'd cleaned myself up and put my clothes back on, I soon headed back to my seat, not seeing Britney on my way there. It didn't take long for me to pass out when I got there, given how much more tired out I had become after what took place in the staff toilets.
Waking up as the plane arrived in Los Angeles, I quickly had to get myself together, as everyone else started filing out of the aircraft. I grabbed my hand luggage out of the overhead compartment, and made my way down the aisle, seemingly the last person to leave the plane.
As I approached the door to exit, there she was. I was a little nervous, wondering how she felt about the dirty sexcapade that took place in the middle of the night. But rather than mention it, all she said was,
"Goodbye Sir, have a nice day".
I nodded, a little confused, expecting her to say something entirely different. As I walked up the walkway to the entrance of the terminal, I began to wonder if I had just imagined the entire thing.
I turned around to see them about to close off the entrance to the aircraft. Britney locked eyes with me,
giving me a sly wink, as if to thank me for what had happened overnight, several miles up above the earth.
Heather Graham
Heather was being held captive in a hidden cave on Dr. Evil's island, two muscly guards watched over her as she slept.
Their arrival on the deserted island had not gone to plan, two of Dr. Evils henchmen taking she and Austin by surprise, jabbing them both in the neck with a drug, just as they arrived from the shore.
Austin was being held prisoner in Dr. Evils lair, the pair separated, unaware of each other's whereabouts.
Heather was chained up by her wrists, her arms above her head, still wearing her white bikini. The sexy sirens golden blonde hair was still wet from swimming in the sea.
Her beautiful eyes fluttered open, awaking after the drug that had been in her system, had finally worn off.
"Where am I??" she called out, moving side to side in the hope she could free herself from her shackles.
The two henchmen that were keeping a watch on her didn't react, ignoring Heathers taunts, and claiming that Austin would save her.
"Please untie me and I'll make it worth your while.." she proposed, the older of the two men's ears pricking up.
Standing before her, his eyes washed over Heather's perfect figure. His conscience was telling him to resist her, knowing the huge pay day he and the other guard would get if they simply watched her for a few hours.
But seeing her bound in chains and her taut stomach hollowing as she breathed in and out, the guard took the bait.
"How do you figure you do that?"
"Well, I've been known to shag very well.." she said very bluntly.
"I don't believe you... I've heard otherwise. Come to think of it, you've been described as crap in bed!"
He didn't want to believe it, but he had what he felt was a reliable source.
"Ahhh Fat Bastard right? You really going to believe someone who hasn't seen his dick since he was a child?"
By this time, the other guard had come over to see what was going on.
"Heather here reckons she's a great lay. Can't say that I'm at all convinced.."
"Well how would you know without sampling me for yourself?" she shot back.
"Look lady, we've got a job to do, there's nothing you can do or say to change our minds", the other guard said, speaking up for the first time.
"Well that's a shame, because I was looking forward to taking you both on at the same time.." she replied with a sigh, looking away and secretly hoping she'd got to them.
"So, what are you suggesting?", the younger guard quizzically asked.
"How about all three of us have a little fun", Heather recommended with a seductive smile.
"I promise I'll make it worth your while. You can always chain me up later when we're done?"
Five minutes later...
With each guy either side of her, Heather alternated between the two, making out with one whilst the other pawed and played with her ass and tits.
With her bikini top removed, her succulent breasts were free, the blonde bombshells pink nipples stiff and inviting enough to be nibbled on.
The younger of the two licked and suckled on the hard nub, whilst the other dipped a hand inside her bikini bottoms to massage her warm wet slit.
Heather peeled away the last stitch of clothing, dropping her nude body down to her knees, marvelling at the two massive bulges in between each guards legs.
She looked up at them with her bottomless blue eyes, stroking one thick cock whilst her moist pink lips blew the other.
The horny blonde changed over, cupping and fondling the younger guards huge hairless balls, as the other used her face like she was a human sex doll.
Heather instructed one guard to lie down so she could sit on his face, allowing him to eat out her moist cunt. The guy standing had his cock in between her supple breasts, titfucking her joyously and soon thrusting into her mouth at the same time.
When she was stimulated enough, the man that had performed oral on her was soon kneeling behind her, Heather's pert rear now in a presenting position. The younger male couldn't take anymore teasing, wanting to more than 'sample' Austin Powers love interest.
"Cmon give it to me. You know you want to.." she begged as she looked over her shoulder to address him. Heather turned back to continue pleasuring the older male, licking and lapping her hard tongue against his ball bag.
"Ohhhh!!!" she sighed deeply as she felt her cunt walls stretched by the cock going into her from behind. His thick girth plunged in deep, the young man in heaven as he felt Heather's velvety walls milking his grateful shaft.
Heather continued sucking the older man's dick whilst taking the other inside her pussy, reaching down between her legs to rub her sensitive clit.
They soon changed positions, the blonde now riding the older man and sucking off her own juices from the dick of the younger of the two. Her makeup began to run and smear her pretty face, the heat of the intense threesome covering her entire body in a sheen of sweat.
Taking her mouth off of the standing man's shaft, she looked up at him with those fascinating blue eyes, and seductively suggested,
"Room for one more back here?", she said, bending over so her soft hanging breasts were rubbing against the older man's face.
The younger of the two took the hint, excitedly getting behind her as she spread her firm white cheeks, exposing her puckered little hole for him. Heather took some of her leaking juices to lather up her tight backdoor, dipping a finger inside before allowing him to proceed.
"C'mon, give me the double stuffing I deserve!" she begged, licking her lips which made his cock twitch.
Without hesitation, the younger man pressed the tip of his spongy head against her tight little asshole, grunting and wincing inwardly as he painfully prodded his cock inside of her ass.
"Grrr fuck!!" Heather exclaimed, feeling the wonders of being double penetrated, by two hunky guys at the same time.
The two guards were in sync with each other, ploughing into Heather's ass and pussy until she had nearly fifteen inches of cock spearing in and out of her stretched holes.
"Nnghhhh, I can't take much more!", the guy with his dick inside Heather's ass cried.
"Me either", said the other man, his face smothered by Heather's incredible tits.
"Take them out, I want you both to cream all over me!!"
On her knees again with both guys frantically stroking their cocks, Heather looked up at them, her mouth open wide, pressing her huge boobs together. The younger of the two came first, showering her face and lips with multiple ropes of her warm seed.
The older male soon followed suit, glazing her incredible chest with an even bigger batch of his milky load.
Both men fell to the sandy ground, weak in the knees after dousing Heather in their man juice.
"Wow, you really do shag well by reputation", one of the two men uttered, his eyes hazy, not even looking at Heather as he spoke.
Unbeknownst to either man, Heather had found the syringe that they'd used to drug she and Austin with. She jabbed the older male in the neck, knocking him out. As the younger man tried to detain her, she was just that little bit quicker.
"Judo Chop!" the naked Heather shouted, striking him with her hand into one of his shoulders, the younger male joining the other guard, passed out on the ground.
Just like when she slept with Fat Bastard, Heather did what she had to. She put her clothes back on, retrieved the rest of her belongings, and made her way out of the cave.
"Don't worry Austin, I'm on way!"
Natalie Portman
What a mess my life had become. Married only six months earlier, my soon to be ex walked out, confessing to an affair with a younger man.
Despite being a heart surgeon, on incredibly good money, having given her everything a woman could ask for, she still had it off with another bloke.
I made my way to the most talked about strip club in town. I was a wreck, and just hoped that the sight of several dancing naked women added to as much alcohol that I could possibly stomach, would take my mind off of things.
And that's when she appeared...
She gave me the same look I gave her, like she knew who I was. I then realised that we had indeed met before, at one of my soon to be ex-wife's art exhibitions.
The petite stunner was currently on the main stage, wearing just a pair of lavender coloured panties and a bra, looking even more sexy in her high heels.
She wrapped her luscious legs around a pole, rocking her perfect young body to a fairly recognisable R'n'B song. I needed her all to myself, so I didn't even hesitate to get my wallet out, soon waving a couple of hundred dollar bills in her direction to grab her attention.
Natalie, her name from what I remember, took my hand and led me to a private room, not saying a word or even acknowledging the fact that we knew each other. Or maybe she was playing mind games with me, seeing if I'd mention it first?
She was a good ten years younger than my ex-missus, and by far hotter.
"Money up front, and no touching, understand?" she said, as I handed over the money I had initially baited her with.
As she began to dance and wiggle her flawless ass in front of me, it was frustrating that she seemingly didn't remember who I was. It was definitely Natalie, you never forget a face like hers, her skin so perfect you'd think she was made of porcelain. I angrily threw more money at her, demanding she show me her pretty pink cunt.
Natalie complied, sitting on the opposite side of the lounge, spreading her legs wide, and pulling to the side the front of her g-string, so that her exquisite slit was exposed.
Despite the alcohol going to my head, it didn't deter from the fact I was staring at the most perfect pussy I'd ever seen. Had she not been at the age she was, or a stripper, I would have thought she was still a virgin, having seen her exposed womanhood.
At that point I knew I had to fuck her, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy to convince her. Even though Natalie continued to deny knowing me, I could tell she hated it when I brought up her boyfriend, who so foolishly left her for another. I found this out only recently when my ex-wife happen to bring it up in conversation just recently.
I told her that we were both in denial, both in need for someone to break the other out of this funk.
"You don't know how much I want to touch you..." I said, my eyes only a few inches from her hypnotic swaying hips, her belly inviting enough to lick the drops of sweat off.
"You know the rules Larry, look but don't touch".
So she did know who I was, as I hadn't mentioned my name at any point since I arrived here. Natalie turned away from me, knowing she had slipped up. I still wanted her, even more so as I gazed at her lovely ass, her g-string entrenched in between those succulent cheeks.
Truth is, I wanted her from the first time I laid eyes on her. But at the time I was courting my ex-partner. But now that she didn't want me, and Natalie's sissy bloke didn't want her, she was fair game. I may have been a sleaze bag or a pervert, but I have never committed adultery on any of my previous partners.
Even if I had to pay Natalie a ridiculous amount of money, then so be it. I really didn't care that she was just a table top dancing whore. She didn't care for my feelings, whereas I hoped to take my frustrations out on her. Not in a violent way, but in a purely sexual manner.
I wasn't anywhere close to thinking about another relationship, this was about one night of hopefully great sex, plain and simple.
Eventually, the lure of five thousand dollars for a night of her services was what it took to acquire young Natalie for the night. Once she had finished her shift, we made our way to my pad at around one o'clock in the morning, drinking wine, playing loud music and making out.
I soon had her laughing and enjoying being with me, even though she was getting paid really well for it. Things soon started to slow down, Natalie now stripped back down into the same bra and panties she wore at the club. She'd also removed her coloured wig so that her natural brunette hair hung down just above her shoulders. I felt her insatiable body as it rubbed against the hardness in my suit pants.
Before too long, I was lying on my comfortable bed, with no clothes on, Natalie in between my legs, also shed of all her clothes.
She gave me incredible head, knowing where to lick me, when to use her lips to good effect, stroking my hard cock as she slurped on the tip of my turgid member. I almost felt guilty seeing her smudged lipstick as she blew me, as it slightly spoiled her gorgeous face.
Ever since seeing her hairless pussy in the club, I knew I wanted to taste it.
And given the fact I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted to her, I did exactly that.
Natalie whimpered like a little girl as my tongue stroked in between her swollen lips, lapping at her tangy essence. I used my thumbs to spread her pink flower, tongue fucking her until she was on the verge of an erotic climax.
Her legs flailed around in the air as I sucked on her clit whilst jamming two fingers up her teasing slutty orifice.
My cock was throbbing in my hand as I placed the head at her lubricated opening. I had pushed Natalie's limber legs up to either side of her head, so she was folded in half. She taunted me, knowing it would turn me on further, begging me to fuck her sopping cunt hole.
I groaned deeply as my shaft threaded inside of her tight young pussy. Every fibre of my being wanted to hammer away like a horny rabbit, but I did the opposite. I wanted to savour this for a moment. I pushed just the head of my shaft in, then took it out again. I repeated this a few times, wanting to feel her moist inner walls envelop me over and over before I moved things along.
Natalie looked up at me with those innocent eyes as I picked up the pace, panting as I was soon driving into her balls deep. She was furiously rubbing her clit as I slammed into her relentlessly.
I had the stunning stripper ride me, working her ass upon me, shaking her hips in circles. I felt up her body to my hearts content, given I wasn't able to earlier under the watchful eye of the clubs video security.
Natalie was practically doing all the work, as I just lay there enjoying the sight, her eyes closed, her mouth opening when she moaned, biting her bottom lip, rubbing at her small naked breasts and stiff brown nubs.
I hadn't promised her an orgasm but she had already came twice by the time I had her on all fours, so I could fuck her doggy style.
Now I was in full control, an animalistic nature was taking place as I took her from behind, Natalie's delicious round ass up, and her face pressed against the mattress, softly moaning for me to go harder.
I gripped both of her firm cheeks, giving her the odd spank as my thighs slapped against her.
As she was rubbing her pussy, I could feel her fingers against my pistoning rod whilst I was fucking her.
When she began caressing my swinging balls, I knew she wanted me to unload. I soon came, shooting my creamy load deep inside Natalie's warm wet chasm.
My time with her was certainly money well spent. Well, for now at least.
Elisha Cuthbert
I was nervous. Heck, what guy wouldn't be? I'd been seeing Elisha for a few weeks now and even despite the fact she knew I'd found out she was a porn star, trying to quit the business, she still wanted to be with me.
She said it was because of the way I looked at her. Clearly different to how others had, like she was a fresh piece of meat.
Only my best friend and I knew she was "Athena", her porn star name.
And given that I was still a virgin, I figured, who else better than Elisha to teach me the ways of great sex.
Once I discovered her past line of work, I was able to maintain a copy of one of her compilation DVD's. After an hour or so of watching, there really wasn't much this girl wouldn't do. Well, everything except anal, after one particular on screen partner was a little too rough with her. This in turn caused her to decide against doing this ever again, as long as she was still doing adult films.
Despite only a couple of years in the porn industry, she had already built up quite a large following, especially after winning "The Best New Cummer" in her very first year.
She had already mastered the art of deep-throat, giving her on screen male partners some quite exquisite blowjobs. At first it was all too much to take in, given I'd just graduated from high school, turned eighteen and was now dating a former porn star!
I believed Elisha when she said she wanted a new career. If she'd have told me that she was a secretary or worked in an ice cream parlour, I would've believed her. Having spent plenty of time with her, I wouldn't have picked her for a porn star.
And now I'd fallen for her big time. She had eyes that would make most guys melt. Lips that you could kiss for hours on end. And the kind of face that you'd want to wake up next to for the rest of your life.
But now that I'd seen her naked, fucking on film or performing the odd lesbian scene, I wanted to do more than just date her.
She hadn't gotten to the point where her body had required work, like most porn stars do. She had no need for breast or lip enhancements, an orange spray tan or a tramp stamp to speak of just yet. She was just a complete natural.
For me, Elisha was the cute girl next door, funny, easy going and spontaneous. She really awoke the adventurist inside of me, making me do crazy things I didn't dare do before I met her.
But underneath all that charm of hers was a tiger, waiting to be released and probably dying to show me her naughty side.
As we walked past several motel room doors my heart began to beat incredibly fast. I was going to finally get laid.
Turning the key, we entered the seedy looking motel room, a queen sized bed which had a floral sheet cover and two side tables. The lighting in the room was surprisingly good, considering how cheap the room was, for a guy who barely worked twenty hours a week.
My attention was drawn to the laid out figure on the bed. Elisha swept her fingers across the spread, looking at me with contained lust. Her silky blonde curls and adorable brown eyes was luring me closer towards the unknown.
I stood there shaking, moving my jacket zipper up and down, not sure whether to make the first move or not. I hadn't suggested sex to her beforehand, I just hoped she took the hint when I made the suggestion to get a room for the night, earlier that day. Surely she had, given sex was her expertise.
Elisha sat up on the bed then onto her knees. She unbuttoned her blouse, sliding it off her petite young body, revealing a sexy red brassiere underneath.
"Wanna fuck me?" she asked so seductively.
I nodded. Well that's at least what I think I did, given how mesmerised I was by this incredible blonde beauty and her teasing strip show.
Bending low, her lovely breasts hung down, swaying as she crawled along the bed toward me.
By this time she had loosened the string tie to her tight looking pants, turning around and bending down on all fours, so her tight little derriere was presented for my more than stunned eyes.
"How do you want me?" she asked, sliding a hand over over her hip, then down over her luscious looking ass.
One thing I noticed was her voice had a slight stammer in it. Was it possible that a young woman with so much sexual experience could seemingly be just as nervous as I? Maybe because it was her first 'real' intimate moment with a guy who wasn't also doing this for fame or money.
"Umm, I'm not sure..." I replied to her question.
"Well... Let me help you decide then".
My eyes widened upon seeing Elisha push down her pants to the back of her knees, her firm white rear uncovered for my viewing pleasure. She was wearing a red coloured thong, which was riding up the crack of her ass, separating her succulent globes.
I could feel my penis hardening in my pants, certainly leaking pre-cum due to the mind blowing strip show going on before me.
Elisha was now on the bed in just her underwear, beckoning me to move closer to her.
"Come here..."
She pulled me down upon her so that I was lying upon the scantily clad stunner, making out, moaning into my mouth and swirling her tongue against mine.
My head was spinning so much I didn't notice her slowly unbuttoning my top, sliding off my trousers, leaving me wearing just a pair of boxer shorts.
Her perfume smelled so sweet around her neck and chest, forcing me to lick and suck in the scent.
I groaned inwardly when Elisha slipped a hand inside my trunks, grabbing my hard cock for the very first time.
"Did you masturbate this afternoon by any chance?" she asked, probably wanting my mind clear before this evenings events.
I had done so, filtering images in my mind from the porn skits of Elisha that I'd already seen, placing myself in the male role to help me get off quicker.
She removed my last piece of clothing, my stiff boner flipping out and into the open.
"Mmm, not bad, not bad at all..." Elisha said with a beaming smile, my seven inch erect member taking her by surprise. It was nowhere near the biggest cock she'd ever seen (twelve for anyone interested to know), but it was more than a welcome sight for the blonde bombshell.
"Did you bring a condom?"
As this was our first time, she understandably wanted to take precautions, for my sake rather than hers.
Kneeling before me, she placed the rubber over the tip, rolling it down so it enveloped the mushroom shaped head. To help further fill the prophylactic, Elisha tenderly began licking my balls whilst rolling the rubber down further, which only got me harder. It soon helped to fill every section of the protective shield around my stiff member.
Anxious to get started, she slid off her wet panties, her completely shaved cunt quite clearly ready for the moment, given how much her slit was glistening in her own juices.
Elisha hopped aboard, sitting on my bellend and rubbing it along her moist lips, before placing it at her opening.
I held my breath deep as I could feel the weight of her body upon my steely sword, her incredible pussy opened up to allow my cock to penetrate beyond her velvety folds.
Her mouth was open wide, eyebrows raised and eyes sparkling as she felt my cock delve inside of her for the first time.
She rocked upon me slowly, her slit and puffy lips looking pretty good for a woman who'd taken so much cock over the last couple of years.
Over the next half an hour, our bodies became more sweaty, the pace quickening as I'd become accustomed to my first ever fuck.
Just hearing her moan whilst she was gyrating upon me was better than watching any of her smutty x-rated films.
Having already removed her bra, Elisha's pert naked breasts and tiny pink nipples were there before me for the taking. I licked at her chest as she rubbed her hips against mine, like she was desperate to get off as quick as possible.
Before too long we were both sitting up so we were face to face, her petite body feeling quite light in my lap.
Elisha instructed for when I should keep still, especially when my cock was grazing against her sensitive g spot.
With her smooth legs and arms wrapped around my body, we got a fluid motion going. The gorgeous ex-porn star seemingly enjoyed fucking me, being the dominant sex, despite my inexperience.
I could feel her sweaty ass rubbing against my thighs as she bounced upon me, holding on for dear life as she closed in on that much sort after climax.
"Oh yeah! Cum with me!!" she exclaimed, her cunt muscles milking my tool tightly which awakened the boiling lava of cum, deep within the pit of my balls.
We shared an unforgettable simultaneous orgasm, Elisha cumming a genuine flood on my cock and thighs as I ejaculated into the rubber.
Over the next few days and coming weeks the sex only got better. As I mentioned earlier, Elisha had mastered the art of deepthroat during her short stint as a porn star. One particular afternoon she was in my room whilst I was trying to study for an exam at uni. To help me relax, she offered to go down on me. Licking her palm, she did this in order to help lube up my cock, stroking it to spread her saliva from tip to base.
Seeing her on her knees in my dorm room, taking all of my cock inside her tiny mouth and then begging me to plaster her pretty face with my cum is still the greatest ever thing this young man has ever witnessed. And the thing is, it still happens quite often.
After six months of dating, Elisha finally gave the go ahead for us to have sex without a condom, during a time when she was back on the pill.
Right away I could feel the difference whenever I slid my cock inside of her bareback, feeling those soft wet walls close around my rigid tool, the moistness of her cunt completely coating my cock in her girly juices.
And then the freedom to shoot my seed inside of her, or the odd occasion when we came at the same time, only showed how much better sex was without the aid of a rubber. I eventually became the more dominant sex in bed, especially revelling in the opportunity to take her from behind, pulling her hair and slapping her faultless derrière.
And then on my birthday, just when I thought things couldn't get any better, Elisha offered me her ass.
Knowing how well our relationship was going had made her really trusting of me. Which in turn made her willing to try it again after going so long without.
It was an incredible experience, albeit a difficult one the first time we tried.
Even though I'd thoroughly lubricated her hot little starfish up, she still felt incredibly tight, especially that very first time I slid my cock inside Elisha's perfect ass.
I carefully listened to her instructions, taking things slow to begin within and later picking up the pace when she begged and wailed, "fuck my ass harder!"
She was doing all she could to make it easy on herself, rubbing her clit as my balls slapped against her pussy.
There's plenty more I could tell you about my experiences with Elisha, but that will have to be put on hold for another time.


text:
The Wellington
Wetherby Road, Leeds, West Yorkshire, LS17 8LZ 0113 265 1991
Wetherby Road, Leeds, West Yorkshire, LS17 8LZ 0113 265 1991
Tuck into your favourite roast or pub-food classic at home, at work or wherever you fancy, with takeaways from The Wellington in Leeds.
Any day of the week, choose a slow-cooked roast dinner. Or, go for an all-time pub-food classic such as fish & chips, pie, or, half a roast chicken. Fancy something else? Our burgers and pizzas are not to be missed.
Every main course comes with as many side dishes – like roast potatoes, freshly steamed veg, and our delicious sauces – as you can cram into your takeaway box. And we do mouth-watering starters, perfect puds and even hot breakfasts to take out too*.
Grabbing a takeaway couldn't be easier:
- Place your order at the bar
- Pick up your to-go box and bag
- Give your receipt to the carver
- Help yourself from our carving deck
- Don't forget your gravy and sauces
If you're having a pizza you'll be given a buzzer to go & collect it when it's ready
- Or, Pick up your to-go box and bag
That's it. A proper, great-value meal on the go – and with no dishes to wash afterwards.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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text:
It's pretty interesting to read the obituaries of Charles Colson by those who were alive during Watergate and those who weren't. It's clear that some reporters are stuck in the 1970s, apparently unaware of how the state of evangelicalism was shaped by Colson's complex life and legacy.
Colson's rocky relationship with the media might have something with his life portrayal as reporters try to explain President Nixon's "hatchet man" turned evangelical leader. Jonathan Aitken (who also wrote a tribute for Christianity Today) demonstrated in his biography Colson's complex relationship with reporters, especially since his conversion was met with skepticism or cynicism.
Colson Has Found Religion was the New York Times headline. The news media across the country followed suit. Columnists, editorial writers, and cartoonists had a field day of mockery. Syndicated columnist Harriet Van Horne caught the general mood when she wrote, "I cannot accept the sudden coming to Christ of Charles Colson. If he isn't embarrassed by this sudden excess of piety, then surely the Lord must be."
Part of what seems to complicate the media's relationship might be that the Washington Post's Woodward and Bernstein are the real heros for journalists coming out of Watergate. Someone like Colson, who had a conversion experience and spent time in jail, does not fit the narrative of who was on right side at that time. Though Colson had a rough relationship with the media, there was this little interesting bit:
The acerbic columnist Jack Anderson launched an investigation into the finances of Prison Fellowship after hearing rumors that Colson was enriching himself from his religious activities. After establishing that Colson earned a salary of only $59,000 from his ministry, and that the far larger sums he earned from his speaking fees and book royalties went not into his pocket but directly to Prison Fellowship, Anderson wrote several columns praising Colson and became a regular donor to Prison Fellowship. These anecdotes involving journalists in the late 1970s reflected a turning of the tide of public opinion about Colson.
Colson did not have the rosiest view of the media. In his recent column for Christianity Today, Colson noted how evangelicals are painted in mainstream media outlets.
Just what is an evangelical, anyway? The picture painted by the media—especially now that it's election time again—is confused and often unflattering. From the infamous "poor, uneducated, and easy to command" label hung on us by The Washington Post years ago, to the perception that we are gay-hating political maniacs in the hip pocket of the Republican Party today, it's not hard to understand that we have an image problem—and that we've let others define us.
Of course, we ourselves are part of the problem. Like those well-intentioned activists who met at a Texas ranch to anoint one of the presidential candidates in the Republican primaries. Or the pair of evangelical professors who wrote an article in The New York Times, criticizing evangelical leaders for their "rejection of knowledge" and for embracing "discredited, ridiculous and even dangerous ideas"—such as believing that homosexual behavior is sinful and that Darwin was wrong.
Perhaps it is time to step back and ask once again what an evangelical is.
In the obituaries, some veteran reporters were able to draw on history to put Colson's legacy in context while others appear clueless of Colson's life outside of the White House, as Mollie showed in some of the early ones yesterday. In many ways, media outlets that didn't shift the obituary assignment from the political reporters to the religion reporters overlooked the bigger picture.
The Los Angeles Times has a strange line in its obituary about Colson's political involvement.
Though always conservative, except when he was advocating for fewer prisons and for the release of nonviolent prisoners, he was not very active politically on the national stage after his White House years.
Wouldn't Colson call his efforts something like "compassionate conservatism"? Also, wasn't he a huge catalyst in some of President Bush's initiatives on AIDS in Africa, prison reform, etc.? At least, Karl Rove thought so.
In contrast, the Associated Press seemed to "get" Colson's later life and legacy.
When Colson emerged from prison, "he had a lot of offers to do other things that would have made him a lot of money", but he wanted to serve people who had been "forgotten" in society, [Mike] Cromartie said.
"I think if he's going to be remembered for anything, he's going to be remembered as a person who had a complete turnaround in his life," he said.
While faith was a large part of Colson's message, he also tackled such topics as prison overpopulation and criticized the death penalty, though he thought it could be justified in rare cases. He said those convicted of nonviolent crimes should be put on community-service projects instead of being locked up.
My one quibble with the last paragraph is that he reads "while faith was a large part of Colson's message, he also tackled..." I would guess that it was "because faith was a large part..." as Colson's policy work was motivated by his faith. At the very least, Colson influenced the way evangelicals engage in politics, culture, evangelism and other areas, drawing on evangelicalism's four emphases (as David Bebbington put them): the Bible, Jesus' death the cross, personal conversion and evangelism. At CT, I put it:
In many ways, Colson's life encapsulated the eclectic nature of evangelicalism. His example shaped how evangelicals would promote ministry and social justice, evangelism and ecumenicism, cultural and political engagement, radio and writing, and scholarship and discipleship.
This was not just one man who influenced one president. This was a towering figure over a large religious movement. Many will have a story to tell about how Colson shaped either their own life or someone they know. Ask an evangelical.


text:
Confessions of a Sports Ignoramus
'Simpsons' writer Rob LaZebnik explains to WSJ's Gary Rosen how he copes with the terrible social disability of knowing nothing about sports. Photo: Getty Images
This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.
I ... it's no secret that American and love the sport they love sports more than their jobs more than their wives more thinned their children ... but there are exceptions to this will outliers in one of them is joining us here today Rob was that Nick coming to us from California high Robert ... criteria or a ... so so Rob ... in this weekend's that Wall Street Journal you have this embarrassing confession which is that you are not ... obsessed with sports the way I think every other American man is so so ... me to put it plainly what what's wrong with you and how did this happen ... well we all are yours is a is and it's very very reason all very alleviated for my not ... from a disease Society a man in America ... as isn't ... likely to show ... quite sure what happened that I he began life as a furtherance that seed was cargo in your SE Missouri Tigers than I grew up in court on usury ... on both difficulties reform which it ... finds that the US to misery Stadium ... actually it's even more people than that of wind in our hometown so the whole entire town to be there on and on game day ... and singing an entire city that tracks the next day loss ... on ... sale ... it was an avid fan of both time ... when college and has only happened I just I just kind of aam ... last Monday on my Jones for a ... huge amount of school and ... got married to a woman who ... couldn't care less for sports so ever since I ay ay ay really going on in the loop and is ... at ... stake ... well with the same as me ... this must be for you of great ... social disadvantage from so so what do you do how do you compensate ... how how do you talk to other American man ... it's very difficult landing I love this time this particular few weeks in the summer because ... basketball's over ... time football has started yet ... and the UN baseball he is use as boring as is the enemy ... on ... it so I know at least now we'll get into the wilderness conversation this morning and you're were recycled in a ... recent court decisions but ... then before you know it ... cannot Aaron Hernandez and his troubles and and and I'm back into on ... the TV and on the outside so on ... it's very difficult and ... and ... I finally on things to do that I actually ... was forced to join in a fantasy Football League ... here it and we're just in desperation distributable silat it suits its inverse of the Republic ... and down I went through on the existing ... evolution on because ... I answer when it first I was I was literally a first place for the first four weeks of the year and ... yet he didn't feel that that excitement that competitive thing ... the new moment I start losing a bet on the way I forgot that ... that that ... that you receive Missouri Tigers sense of ... futility ... the ... kit the internet ... will was so so Rob it's one thing for you to have this this disability that this deficiency but what about your children what what about future generations of was that makes what are you doing ... to keep them from suffering ... from the same problem ... I'm worried I'll lot Saturday one of my kids actually said to me ... did and what what's good for gold and was met with his throws the ball to my horror I I ... completely failed in that ... and ... and trying to do much is enough just to stay in the game so to speak to ... so I have to do more and no I think that there to force everybody including me this is done watched just like thirty seconds BST and ... every dentist yesterday and yes ... I was watching ESPN and ... in a little older dots ... on it and she Nolan ... and data on in thirty seconds in an era in Anniston up this morning I said he was teammates with soon to go to Florida ... and then I that start off with conversation a little back of the room quietly having having contributed ... to and we could do we could contemplate ... some sort of remedial education program for for people who find themselves with a sort of the more awkward ignorance ... it is a very good idea to get money making idea for the five highest undertones all American males who are in my predicament ... very good Rob was that Nick thank you for joining us ... thanks Aunt Karen designs ... for Wall Street Journal weekend Revue I'm Gary Rosen ...


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Key Ingredients For Implementing a Successful Continuous Improvement Effort
Greg Flickinger and Ugo Mgbike, of Snyder's-Lance, talk about how to make continuous improvement part of the fabric of your company's culture not the program of the month.
For decades, organizations have formalized efforts around Continuous Improvement (CI). Many have spent significant time and effort customizing and re-developing tools and processes that already exist. Programs are often branded with a catchy name to reinforce company ownership followed by pushing the program into the organization with an expectation that people will embrace it and make it their own.
As is typically the case in any change effort, a small fraction of people jump on board believing the concept makes perfect sense, while the masses resist. The harder the organization pushes, the more resistance will be created. Over time, more people will slowly come on board, but many will continue to passively resist. With excessive effort, the program can be pressed into generating savings, but without an intentionally planned cultural change effort, the organization complies only until the pressure is released -- allowing the passive resistors to resume their default work style.
As a result, sustaining improvement is difficult and the effort is at risk of becoming an activity-based program as opposed to a performance-based culture. According to Reut Schwartz-Hebron, founder of the Key Change Institute, "Only 10 percent of the people can adopt lasting new ways of thinking without support and effort focused upon enabling the change process."
Some organizations hire CI professionals or consulting groups to deploy to opportunity areas with the intent of leveraging CI tools to extract value. These efforts often return immediate performance and cash savings, but struggle to sustain these improvements over time. Failure to engage the workforce in shared ownership hinders the adoption of the changes as an owned part of the culture. The gains often will fail to mature and will remain as one-off and specific. Management of the process, which creates compliance, only sustains for a finite period of time before the changes fade at the hands of the large group of resistors, most of whom are passive.
The key to successfully implementing a CI effort is to make it a component of the fabric of the culture. It must become "the way we do our work" as opposed to an organizational program. The approach must be centered upon not just telling or showing, but including and engaging the workforce in the overall effort.
People must be allowed to follow the philosophy and process, but be able to make it their own. Sustained success is often found when CI is approached as a cultural change effort, where the focus is on the people and the CI tools being used as the vehicle to support culture change. Performance becomes an outcome of the effort, not the focus. This concept can be hard for many to grasp and even more difficult to execute. This is especially true when immediate bottom-line results are demanded.
Why CI efforts fail
Let's look at the characteristics that generate an unsustainable CI effort, one that fails to become part of the culture. Many organizations and leaders fall into these traps as good intentions generate contrary and unintended consequences.
Success in application transcends what is generally communicated in the academic approach. CI will become an activity-based program as opposed to a culture when:
- The process is rigid and must be followed to the letter. Deviation, customization and personalization are not accepted.
- Extensive paperwork is required. Forms must be filled out completely and posted in a library or database with for others to access.
- A few highly trained and knowledgeable experts execute the projects, pulling from local knowledge to solve the issues and gain performance.
- Goals are established requiring a predetermined number of CI tools to be used or a percentage increase in tool use.
The real power behind CI is providing the workforce more effective ways to do their work. Highly structured and well documented processes are clearly desirable, but often fail in execution. The workforce is most adaptable to the new ways of thinking when they are given a level of freedom within a framework.
It is about the philosophy and approach, not the specific task. Often, the well-educated and well-intentioned CI leader's need to be "right" gets in the way of being "effective." If one wants to gain the full value of not only improving but sustaining business performance, the focus must be centered on effectiveness. This means it is about the people and not simply the process or tool.
Early in my career, our plant hosted a routine visit of by one of our company vice presidents. The plant was in the midst of making some very impressive incremental performance gains against the backdrop of strong sustained performance. The technicians (hourly employees) were presenting the performance outcomes they and their teams of peers had achieved. The workforce was fully vested, owning the CI tool use and commensurate results. Many of the CI processes were becoming ingrained in the culture and were becoming the way the teams did their work.
At the conclusion of one of the presentations, the vice president pointed out the tool was not used properly because the standard form was not filled out. Once the form was completed, it would then be considered effective use of the tool. Here was a team that had fully changed not only the way they approached the opportunity, but actually changed the way they thought about solving the situation by making lasting and sustained systemic improvements. But they were deflated by being instructed that the activity was more important than the result. An opportunity was lost to celebrate accomplishments and recognize those who were willing to change, thereby reinforcing the new cultural norm.
There is clearly a place for using structured and regimented process, especially in the early stages of learning and adoption. For instance, as one begins to develop a culture of basic root cause problem-solving using Why-Why or Five Why, people gain educational value on the process by walking through structured forms. At first, the teams may require facilitation and guidance. As time proceeds, teams will begin to leverage the form and facilitate themselves.
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v.3 How I Knit Sleeves
I've said this before and I'll say this again: Knitting Sleeves is in the top 10 things knitters (including me) just don't like to do…
But what's a sweater without sleeves? (three guesses and the first two don't count cuz that's a joke son!)
Lately, in the multi-project sample world I'm living in, there are WIP's in various stages all over the place, so at the very least, if I am stumbling in my motivation to finish something, I can reward myself by working for a short while on a different design.
But at some point, it just has to be done…
Here's how I knit sleeves without losing my mind:
- one part Organization: gathering all the materials together that will make it a less frustrating outing. On hand? Needles, wound yarn, hanging stitch markers, measuring tape and snacks. :)
- one part Nurturing: not procrastinating to the point of having to do both sleeves in less than 2 days – no elbow blow outs or repetitive stress please.
- one part Commitment: know that the thing is just not going to knit itself and the only way I can wear or show the new garment is by biting the bullet (and then biting some chocolate).
- and most importantly — one part Temptation: mainly in the form of viewables (movies, tv, netflix, etc) heavily supplemented by liberal periodic rewards of, again(!) bitti-bites of chocolate, not a lot, just a smalll break in the proceedings. THIS is my version of being a (sleeve) WHISPERER…and I will attest, it works.
Here's what I'm working on right now – the first sleeve of a sample cardigan in lovely blue 10 ply wool — this is the result of two evenings knitting –
All of the above tips were corralled and put into play in the making of this sleeve.
The viewable? Game of Thrones Season 3: episodes 1-4!
This is actually a little more of an action/intense oriented background event than I usually indulge in because of…
…no, not all the sword-play BUT the the fantastic WARDROBE dressing that is on all of the characters!
It's a bit distracting because I want to stop and rewind and inspect the details of all those glorious costumes instead of keeping up a nice even tempo with my stitching.
This sleeve is being worked in-the-round (top-down) using two circular needles. This, for me, is the fastest way to make a consistently even fabric. YMMV, toolwise but the goal is the same.
Also, I've used my favorites, hanging markers to easily keep track of all of the sleeve shaping. Before I started, while gathering the yarn, needles and measuring tape, I counted out markers according to the number of decreases the pattern called for, using one color for the first row-decrease rate and a second color for the other row-decrease rate.
After I complete a shaping decrease, I hang a marker through the center of it. That leaves a trail of marker "bread crumbs" along the shaping line and there is no need to count anything except the rows/rounds between the decreases. When your markers are used up, your sleeve is almost done.
Then, when I'm making the second one, I take the markers from sleeve #1 as I make decreases on sleeve #2.
This is the easiest way to to not having to seriously pay attention while you're stitching! You can just go round and round and round and every 8 or six or ten rounds or whatever's called for, do the shaping as needed.
Not sure if I should admit this, but if it's a Stockinette st sleeve, chances are I'm not even looking at it for a great amount of time while I'm working on it. At some point, a rhythm gets going and you only have to engage visually when you feel the end of the section and turn for the next needle's worth of stitches.
All the more merry time to watch the on-screen drama or reach for that chocolate reward…


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Comcis are cool, you should buy them
What Are You Buying 4/10/2013?
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Official: Delayed flood rates not answer
Councilman Ladouceur says homeowners will be forced to abandon houses
With some Rhode Island residents saying they won't be able to continue living in their homes, members of Congress who touted the Biggert-Waters Flood Insurance Reform Act when they voted for it last year, are now co-sponsoring legislation that would delay increased insurance rates for four years.
But while the legislation – the Homeowner Flood Insurance Affordability Act – could bring some temporary relief, if enacted, it doesn't promise to eliminate premiums that could go as high as $25,000 for $250,000 of coverage.
The situation has Ward 5 Councilman Edgar Ladouceur seeing red.
"Right now they're reacting to the public outcry," Ladouceur said of lawmakers. "All this talk should have happened before they passed the law."
"Unless they repeal it, it's not going to change anything," he said. "If they can't get this thing rectified, people are going to walk away from [their] property.
He said Congress "needs to come up with a permanent fix to this … Let them come up with it because we can't pass it at the local level."
Until the specifics of the new legislation are outlined, even those closest to the issue can't predict what it is going to mean. Michelle Burnett, state floodplain coordinator with the Rhode Island Emergency Management Agency (RIEMA), was of the opinion that the law won't apply to secondary properties – vacation and summer homes – or businesses that will still feel the full impact of non-subsidized rates. She couldn't say how many of the 16,123 Rhode Island policyholders would be affected. Of that amount, 43 percent are considered subsidized, she said. Flood insurance premiums for the state total $21 million. In Warwick, 1,867 property owners have flood insurance. Banks require the insurance to mortgage properties within flood zones as defined by the Flood Insurance Rate Map (FIRM).
In addition to secondary houses and business, Burnett doubts the new legislation would apply to severe repetitive loss situations. She qualified these as policyholders who have experienced $5,000 in losses more than once.
According to a release issued Tuesday by Congressman James Langevin, the bill also calls for a two-year affordability study and would apply to primary residences sold after July 6, 2012.
"Homeowners in Rhode Island coastal communities are already seeing significant increases in their flood insurance rates, rates that, for some, are unsustainable," Langevin said in a statement. "These families have already been through enough, seeing their homes damaged and memories destroyed by the rising floodwaters in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. I understand that reforms are needed in the federal flood insurance program, but those changes should not come at the cost of someone losing their home."
Ladouceur has called on the state's Congressional delegation to roll back the Biggert-Waters legislation. He said last week that the measure would trigger an exodus from the city and force families that have lived in Conimicut, Oakland Beach and other costal neighborhoods for decades to leave their properties. Ladouceur also asked Tax Assessor Evelyn Spagnolo to extend the Oct. 15 deadline for property owners to appeal their property valuations, as the new insurance rates will depreciate real estate values. Spagnolo noted the deadline is set by state law and further said, until there is evidence that the rates are impacting values, there would be no way of determining the effect.
Mayor Scott Avedisian questions what can be accomplished with a four-year delay.
"It's just freezing it [the rates] from here to here. It doesn't solve it," he said.
He called the effect of the Biggert-Waters Act "too dramatic and all at once." He sees part of the issue is that new homes that meet the flood building codes are subsidizing rates for older homes that pre-date the codes and flood maps. What he is saying is borne out by the accounts of Conimicut residents in earlier stories about this issue. In one case, the owner of a relatively new house, built 14 feet above the ground with all utilities above flood elevation, is paying $9,000 for insurance, the owner of a single-story house on the water, only a block away, was paying $800.
Avedisian doesn't have a solution. Nonetheless, he doesn't think it right that an older couple living in a house for 50 years would be forced to leave because they can't afford flood insurance.
If it will crush home values and tax revenues in Warwick, what will happen in New Orleans and other low areas.
Two points: First, the new rates seem completely out of whack with the financial risk assumed by the insurance companies and banks. Second, what difference does "primary residence" vs. "summer home" make from a claim likelihood perspective? It's not like a hurricane comes up the bay, stops at Patience Island, and says: "Hmmm. Those look like summer homes, but those over there look like primary residences. Yup, that's the spot." In ten years, waterfront property in Warwick will owned exclusively by hedge fund managers from Fairfield County who paid cash and use the place three months a year.
So, I am supposed to subsidize dopes who live in flood zones?
It is like people complaining that the planes make noise at the airport.
Hey Justanidiot,
Remember it is not just the houses in Oakland Beach that this will affect; the very simple fact here is this is going to mean a drop in tax revenue for the city. The reason being the value of those homes are going to drop and your property taxes will rise yet again so it is still going to cost you either way. Open your eyes and look at the big picture…
Conimicut and Oakland Beach have both been wiped out before. They should pay more to live there.
and they do more taxes.....
taxes have nothing to do with flood ins national flood ins is in the red for 24 mil dollors Were do you think all of this money is comeing from to fix homes business even the lighthouse had flood ins Wake up its time to pay up that it .can.t let this get to far from us now .like the federal budget.
Taxes for sure figure into the equation, if higher taxed properties are devalued that means less revenue for the city that will need to be made up somewhere and where will this come from? It is real simple the cities will petition the state for a higher then allowable increase (which we know we get the max increase now in Warwick every year) which the states will allow seeing the reduction in the tax revenue will be felt by the state too which gets close to 20% of the taxes collected.
Justanidiot: You are absolutely correct in that you should NOT be expected to subsidize anyone due to their poor decision-making. This should include food stamps, subsidized housing, and various other Taker subsidies. However, a small home and contents with re-build value of, say, $100k should not be paying exorbitant flood insurance premiums.
Norm 88, you are mistaken as far as tax increases go. if you look on the city website you will see that over the past 5 years every tax increase was UNDER the max. last 2 years increase was around 1.5% with the max being 4%. I am advocating no opinion as to the need for ANY increase but just advocating for using the correct info if you are goint to comment at all.
JohnStark, your last comment was a case in double speak. you agree that we should not subsidize waterfront landowners (a point I fully agree with you on) then you go on to rip other "taker subsidies" then you state that a house with a replacement cost of $100k should not be paying high premiums. My question is shouldn't rates be set by the market? and if so who are you to decide that they should not pay high premiums, shouldn't the market set those rates. by you trashing "taker subsidies" you sound like a free market supporter, and therefore you should support the insurance companies setting rates at the market and not what you think is "exorbitant". Correct?
Informed tax payer Warwick RI property tax rate FY11 17.48/1000, FY 12 17.69/1000, FY 13 18.14/1000, FY 14 19.79/1000…So it seems like both our numbers were off…
Informed: Fair point. The problem is that rates are not really set by the market. When one entity (e.g. the bank or government) can mandate that you purchase a product (e.g. flood insurance or health insurance) the rates become artificially distorted. The best example is life insurance. If you buy a policy you pay market rates based upon your mortality. But if a mortgage lender requires that you buy PMI, which is essentially life insurance with the bank as beneficiary, the rates are no longer 'market rates', but rather significantly higher and are not based upon mortatlity. Finally, the bank is the functional owner of many of these properties. It seems to me that the banks would be in a better position to negotiate better premium rates than homeowners as a function of volume.
JoshStark: Point taken. The way insurance is purchased is wrong. The bank owns most of your home and is the beneficiary of insurance you pay for. However, no one is forced to borrow from a bank, and a bank has a right to impose any conditions on borrowing is pleases, A more equitable system would be for the premiums to be split at the same ratio of ownership of property. As a borrower pays down his debt and his percentage of actual ownership increases so does his share of premium. This would encourage the banks(more powerful) to press for rates more in line with cost of replacement, while not letting the homeowner abdicate his responsibility of maintaining the asset.
I am however very happy that the federal government (our tax money) is getting out of the property insurance business. If I buy a bright red mustang GT I pay a much higher insurance premium than for say a pick up truck. So it should be that if I buy a home on the waterfront, I should be prepared to pay an insurance premium much higher than someone inland. BTW, it is actually nice to see a coherent discussion on this board rather than the normal bs.
though the Fed's are getting out of the property ins. business we all know that they are in the health ins. business now... But keep in mind the government does infact regulate all insurance on the state level using he Dept of Incurance....


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time aloneSunday, July 01, 2007
Bob took the boys to play nine holes. Libby went for a sleep over. Time alone in my house, YIPPEE! However, it took me an hour and a half to complete 1 row. Decrease 28 stitches evenly across while using smaller needles and changing to K1, P1. Sounds simple enough. Then why my fine friends did it take me all of that precious time! AHHH! I ended up charting it, and then charting it again, and again, and again. Yes, 4 times.
24 comments
Don't feel bad--sometimes things like spacing out buttonholes or dividing stitches evenly can drive you crazy. It's still so nice to have that alone time to concentrate and renew.ReplyDelete
I was looking at some of the Twinkle yarn last week. There are some really pretty pinks and blues. Tempting...
manage to make even simple things positively difficult. Like my most recent FO. I ripped out so many times because I failed to remember what brackets mean. Sigh.ReplyDelete
I cant wait to see this finished. I am so curious about this book. Is this a summery top? or fall/winter?
Glad you had some you time! Isn't is grand?
You know, I keep seeing patterns on your blog that I've passed right over because they just don't catch my eye... the summertime tunic, for example...and you make them look so great! The seaside sweater is already looking good... can't wait to see it finished!ReplyDelete
Time alone is such a wonderful thing. Especially when you have kids!
The Seaside Sweater looks scrumptious... while working on the summertime tunic... I must of counted my stitches... at least 4 times... I kept loosing count... and it was necessary to get the total count in order to begin dividing the front/back... uggh! Alone time is so refreshing... although my babies are 19... its always a joy when I'm home alone, I get a break from Ma!!!!! or Honey!!!! where is this or that....lolReplyDelete
ooooo, I have that book and haven't started anything yet but am looking forward to. That top is so cool!ReplyDelete
Looking forward to seeing the finished piece!
That sweater is going to be so amazing! Wow! and maybe you were tired, or distracted by having the house to yourself, but at least you chart, I try to do it in my head, it gets ugly. I am off to read you posts that i have missed...ReplyDelete
This happens to me all the time too, those numbers, they just don't behave :)ReplyDelete


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Wishing all a Merry – traditional – Christmas
What ever happened to Santa Claus? He was alive and well when I was a young scudder. In times gone by, throughout the world, youngsters tried to stay awake until the wee hours to hear the telltale click, click, click on the roof as Santa arrived in his sleigh with his eight tiny reindeer in harness. Correction, there were finally nine when Rudolph was drafted to light the way.
In modern times, young boys and girls at age 3 (or maybe 4) are more involved with their iPads or iPhones or whatever newest device is currently being pushed by the manufacturers. It would seem that the age of innocence has been lost to many in the shuffle.
At this point I would tell the story of a certain Great Grandma who was taught how to use one of these devices by her 3-year-old Great Granddaughter, but I won't for fear of embarrassing my wife.
Many of the so-called games kids are playing have to do with gruesome acts labeled as entertainment. What a shame.
Would that we could step back in time for special occasions before the electronic age took over and once again make sure that milk and cookies were placed near the fireplace for Santa's much anticipated arrival.
Fortunately, many department stores still have a Santa perched on his throne to hear the wants and desires of kids who waited in line to sit on his lap. Some things never go away, and that is encouraging.
Yes, Virginia, there still is a Santa Claus who sports a round belly due to all the milk and cookies he has been tempted with as he makes his rounds to all the little kiddies of the world.
Politically correct or not, I would wish everyone a Merry Christmas.