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The Complicated Aftermath of Speaking Up
It's been more than a year and a half since I came forward about what happened to me. What happened to me. What happened to me?
It feels odd to say that, because what happened to me was actually happening for close to three years.
I thought that talking about it for the first time was going to be the hardest part about surviving an abusive relationship. And yeah, talking about it for the first time was really scary. I sent my parents an email as I departed the country for a month so I wouldn't have to see their reactions. Then I posted publicly on Facebook when our (now) president was accused of sexually assaulting numerous women. I got through the anxious rush of pressing "send." I got through the comments and messages that came afterwards. I was even uplifted by most of them.
But saying it for the first time was not the hardest part.
You see, the scariest part of speaking up is actually the fear that no one will believe you.
And while I've learned that most people do believe me and other survivors, a lot of people still don't understand. A lot of people acknowledge that, yeah, it happened, but (even if subconsciously) blame me/us in some way for what happened.
Why didn't you break up with him sooner?
Why were you dating someone so much older anyway?
How could you let that happen to you again?
And those are the same questions I asked myself for a long time. It's taken a long, long time to even begin to heal. But in 2018, when #MeToo and #TimesUp are movements in full force, those questions hurt in a different, subtle way.
What makes this abuse less real than a celebrity's abuse?
In an interview about her past and trauma with sexual violence, Maya Angelou once said, "I won't say I was severely raped; All rape is severe." (Moyers, 1988)
You can't compare one person's rape to another's. You can't minimize one person's experience because of what happened, when it happened, or who did it.
But we do this all the time.
Well, she was pretty drunk.
Weren't they dating, though?
I don't know how much to believe.
I'm wading in the muddy waters of relationships with people who have their own, separate relationships with my abuser. He got married earlier this year, and some of my old friends went to his wedding. My family had a party recently, and a few people there had recently hung out with him.
For them, that was just something I said happened. For them, that was something of the past.
For me, I deal with panic attacks and flashbacks, sometimes on a weekly basis. For me, I live in the fear that he'll show up somewhere he knows I'll be. For me, I am carrying the weight of what happened every single day.
But most of the time, the fear that someone doesn't believe me is much greater than the fear of it happening again.
The sexual violence I endured was all due to fear, trust, or giving someone a second chance.
We've gotta stop giving monsters the benefit of the doubt. We've gotta stop turning a blind eye. And with some things, nobody deserves a second chance.
We've got to start supporting survivors. All survivors.
If you're reading this, and you have been affected by sexual violence in some way, know that I hear you. I see you. I feel you.
You are not alone.
It's not your fault.
I believe you.
24-Hour Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673)


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On the college football season's final weekend, the Florida State Seminoles and Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets will battle for the ACC title in the 2012 ACC Championship Game from Charlotte, N.C.
Georgia Tech, despite a 6-6 record, finished as the top team in the ACC's Coastal Division with a 5-3 conference record, besting both the Miami Hurricanes and North Carolina Tar Heels for the division's berth in the title game.
The Seminoles finished as the top team in the Atlantic division and won a tiebreaker with the Clemson Tigers on the strength of a head-to-head victory over Clemson earlier this season. The Seminoles also bested the Maryland Terrapins, who finished with a 2-6 conference record, good enough for fifth in the division.
Both teams are coming off losses to in-state rivals, with Florida State suffering a tough defeat at the hands of the Florida Gators and Georgia Tech having been blown out by the Georgia Bulldogs last weekend.
Florida State Seminoles vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, Dec. 1, 8 p.m. ET on ESPN

subset: commoncrawl


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President Obama went before the television cameras on Friday to announce what had largely been pre-ordained before he took office, that all U.S. troops would be leaving Iraq before the end of the calendar year.
It was in the final months of George W. Bush's presidency that the United States negotiated an agreement to withdraw its troops from Iraq by the end of 2011.
In his first year as commander in chief, Obama promised to adhere to the timeline, even though many U.S. and Iraqi military leaders said some American forces should remain in the country. The U.S. position on the 2011 date changed this year, however. Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and his predecessor, Robert Gates, said publicly that some U.S. troops should remain in the country after the withdrawal. The conflict has claimed 4,200 American lives.
Proponents of remaining in Iraq argued that the smaller U.S. footprint would be needed to train the Iraqi military on new American equipment—and as a trip wire if sectarian tensions flared up again and threatened to plunge the country into another civil war.
The negotiations over the 2011 deadline continued into this month, but eventually the talks broke down after the Iraqi side would not extend legal immunity to U.S. soldiers and contractors in Iraq.
On Friday, Obama presented the loss at the negotiating table as a political victory. "As promised, the rest of our troops in Iraq will come home by the end of the year," the president said. "After nearly nine years, America's war in Iraq will be over."
But the end of the war does not mean the end of the U.S. presence in Iraq. Indeed, speaking after the president's brief announcement, Deputy National Security Adviser Denis McDonough acknowledged that the United States would continue to train Iraq's military in the new weaponry that Obama has agreed to sell the government that emerged after U.S. troops toppled the regime of Saddam Hussein in 2003. Just this year, the Pentagon approved a sale of F-16s to Iraq's air force.
Also remaining in Iraq will be military contractors who currently protect American diplomatic missions in Iraq, such as the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad and the consulate in Irbil.
"As part of a new agreement there will be Americans in Iraq training and assisting the Iraqi armed forces," Qubad Talabani, the Kurdistan regional government representative in Washington and the son of Iraq's president, told The Daily Beast. "These Americans will not be combat troops but they will be U.S. soldiers."
The president, perhaps with one eye on his reelection bid, did not mention the fine print as he declared an end to the conflict he had opposed even before winning election to the Senate, and which helped him win the presidency in 2008.
Republican reaction was swift. "I remain concerned that this full withdrawal of U.S. forces will make that road tougher than it needs to be," Rep. Howard "Buck" McKeon, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, said in a statement. "Multiple experts have testified before my committee that the Iraqis still lack important capacities in their ability to maintain their internal stability and territorial integrity. These shortcomings could reverse the decade of hard work and sacrifice both countries have endured to build a free Iraq."
As the United States draws down, the massive amounts of military equipment, such as predator drones and other intelligence sensors used in the war, will be positioned in nearby Turkey, according to senior administration officials.
At the press conference, McDonough answered some critics who said the withdrawal could jeopardize the progress the United States has made since 2007 by saying there was a 15-fold decrease in violent attacks in the last three years. He added that "every study and assessment we've sought" showed the Iraqi military was up to the task of defending the country.


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Episode #12 – How to Let Love In
Love is such a beautiful thing to experience, but in order to let love in, it takes a little readjusting. Many of us may find ourselves more in fear of it, disregarding the amazing feelings attached to it. It's like an internal battle between truly experiencing it and the possibility of it "tearing us down". The hardest part is not the love you'll experience, it's accepting that it's actually possible. In order to truly experience something purely, you have to be willing to present yourself in your purest form. Understand that being at your purest isn't about being flawless. It's about purely presenting your flawness.
As I continue to observe the world under my microscope, the more I learn about the fears we hide behind that continue to keep us from letting love in. It's almost like we rather not have it at all rather than risk losing it. That will work if you never want to lose, but will definitely work if you want to continue to lose. I don't know what love means to you, but for what it means to me, it's worth nothing trading over.
During my journey of learning and experiencing love, I saw how beneficial it would be for me to let love in. I've seen and experienced enough mental blocks to not stray away from the life I want to feel. From the moment life was given, every move we made and continue to make is a risk. If there is one thing I would bet my life on is the love I have and the love I want to let in. With that, I can contribute more to the painting of that picture.
Invite Love So You Get What You Want Out of It
In order to get what you want out of any experience, you have to be willing to contribute to it in some shape or form. I believe in order to let love in, you have to be willing to accept its possibilities. Along with that, you have to be willing to give out every bit of love you have inside of you. Take not a step in fear, but rather, a leap of faith.
Those that believe tend to intensify their energy because that way of thinking usually becomes their reality. And anything we tend to believe in we become open to the idea of obtaining. We not only accept the process, but we can already see the outcome. When the outcome is clear to us the thought of the process seems very promising.
We are more filled with excitement, rather than fear. And we start to look forward to the journey rather than fear every step. When you let love in, you internally commit yourself to the mission of receiving true love and everything it stands for. What it means to you will only be worth the amount of faith you have in it. That is what will provide you with the needed energy necessary to experience the inexperienced.
Leaving a door open in such a way that living presents an opportunity that will allow us to feel something we've never felt. Along with the constant work and effort it will take, the feelings we are filled with only reminds us why we shouldn't quit. It reminds us exactly why pushing forward is only an advantage in realizing the overall vision we created.
Invite the Love you Want to Let In
If you were to hear a knock at your door, your level of excitement will be determined by the person you expect to see on the other side. For some people, it's their parents. Some more their fathers than mothers, visa versa. When it's all said and done, our excitement is based on what that person means or represents to us at that particular moment in our lives.
Love, I mean nothing in this world could ever compare to it. That's inevitable, for our very souls and spirits were governed by that feelin. Our anger, sadness, and pains were all sparked by a love lost or a lack thereof. No matter how you chose to open the can, the ingredient of love should always be in there for it to properly be contained. Metaphorically right?
In conclusion, the only way to let love in is actually by letting love out. When you begin to observe you're giving, you start to realize how people learn to give through you. Sometimes presenting ignites the giving of love. And that's the beauty you have in controlling the things you actually can. Just give…and I promise you, you'll get everything, if not more than you could ever hope for. That's that feelin.
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Exclusive: Listen To the Female Musician-Led Soundtrack of Wanuri Kahiu's 'RAFIKI'
Featuring Kenyan powerhouse Muthoni Drummer Queen and more, the soundtrack for the Cannes-bound film is a vibe.
The original motion picture soundtrack for RAFIKI, Kenya's first feature film to premiere at the Cannes Film Festival tomorrow, is here.
The project is female-led, including the illustrious Muthoni Drummer Queen, Chemutai Sage, Blinky Bill, Jaaz Odongo & Trina Mungai, newcomers Mumbi Kasumba (representing Namibia by ways of Zambia), Njoki Karu and more.
Watch the trailer here.
After giving the soundtrack our ears, it takes us through a whirlwind of emotions that puts the storyline between Kena (Samantha Mugatsia) and Ziki (Sheila Munyiva)—two young women who fall in love despite the odds stacked against them—in perspective. We're also ready for this film to premiere worldwide so we can pair the visuals with the fresh accompaniment.
Give RAFIKI'ssoundtrack a listen yourself, ahead of its premiere below.


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In this tutorial, you will learn how to use the Mesh Tool in Adobe Illustrator to create a natural summer background.
If you want to skip the tutorial and just use this vector in your work, purchase Natural Background with Leaves and a Wooden Sign from GraphicRiver!
1. How to Draw the Paper and the Board
Step 1
Let's begin drawing the paper with Mesh!
Grab the Mesh Tool (U) and a white rectangle. Click inside the rectangle to create a Mesh grid, and then color the lower and right edges of the paper with
Bend the upper left corner of the paper, and then color it with
#B8B8B8. Finish by changing a node to
Step 2
Create a shape of a bent corner, filling it with a Linear Gradient from
#000000 to
#E3E3E3 to
Step 3
Attach the corner to the paper.
Step 4
Begin making a blend by creating two shapes like shown below, the bigger one white and the smaller black.
Place the black shape inside the white shape.
Step 5
Make the white shape transparent, and then proceed to Object > Blend > Blend Options. Set it to Specified Steps, 30.
Finally, select both objects and finish with Object > Blend > Make.
Step 6
Add the blend under the paper. You can also learn how to create a nail in this tutorial.
Step 7
Let's begin by taking a wooden vector texture! You can find out how to make one right here.
If you end up using the texture from my tutorial, begin by adjusting the color of the wood with Edit > Edit Colors > Saturate with a value of -67%.
Step 8
Create a gradient overlay for the planks. Use a Radial Gradient from
#BFB3AB to
#0C0503, and set the object to Overlay.
Step 9
Pick five planks out of the texture (preferably the ones pictured below and in the same order), and then place the overlay on top of each.
Step 10
Draw an outline of a plank as shown below, and then create a copy of it.
Use the original to make a clipping mask with the textured plank. Fill the copy with
#82614A, and then go to Effect > 3D > Extrude and Bevel.
Input the options shown below, and expand the result with Object > Expand Appearance.
Step 11
Place the texture on top of the object.
Step 12
Use the same outline and 3D object for the second textured plank.
Step 13
Draw a new outline for the fourth and third planks, and then repeat the process of Steps 10-12.
Step 14
Create one final outline and 3D object for plank 5.
Step 15
Assemble the sign as shown below and rotate it slightly.
Step 16
Take planks 1 and 4, create copies of them, and stretch them out.
Step 17
Add those behind the sign.
Step 18
Add the paper on top of the sign.
2. How to Draw the Ladybug
Step 1
Begin by drawing the body of the bug with Mesh.
You will need these colors:
Step 2
Finish the Mesh drawing.
Step 3
Create a rectangle filled with
#BD4117, and bend it with Arc and Expand Appearance.
Step 4
Color the object with Mesh.
Step 5
Finish the wing.
Step 6
Bend a
#B74016 rectangle.
Step 7
Color it with Mesh.
Step 8
Draw the head of the ladybug.
Step 9
Draw another part of the head.
Step 10
Draw legs.
Step 11
Draw the antennae.
Step 12
Draw spots.
- –
Step 13
Change the Transparency of the spot, and then create a few copies and modify them with Effect > Bend.
Step 14
Assemble the ladybug.
Step 15
Create a Blend shadow out of
#162304 and
#D5DBCC ellipses.
3. How to Draw the Background
Step 1
Begin by drawing a simple mesh object using
#FFFFFF and
Step 2
If you'd like to draw the leaves and the branch, consult this tutorial.
Then recolor the leaves with Edit > Edit Colors > Adjust Colors and 5% Red.
Step 3
Recolor some of the individual leaves using the same method. You can also make some of them more transparent.
Step 4
Arrange some leaves inside an outline for a Clipping Mask.
Step 5
Take the grass from this tutorial.
Then isolate one of the blades and bend it with Effect > Warp > Arc.
Step 6
Set the ladybug on top of the bent blade of grass.
Step 7
Place it in the middle of the grass patch.
Step 8
Create circles, different in size and filled with
#B4B4B4. Set them to Overlay.
Step 9
Add more sizes and varying Opacity.
Step 10
Draw the sun using a Radial Gradient from
#FFFFFF to
#FFB500 to
Set the Transparency to Screen.
Step 11
Assemble the background out of all the elements, and you're done!
Awesome Work, You're Now Done!
What now? You can try any of my other tutorials from my profile or check out my portfolio on GraphicRiver, as well as the original vector we recreated in this tutorial.
I hope you enjoyed the tutorial, and I would be super happy to see any results in the comments below.


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KAYOMO LAB launches at London Fashion Week, engineering an essential addition to the contemporary working wardrobe
Inspired by the Japanese kimono design, KAYOMO LAB has launched a collection of long sleeved and sleeveless jackets called Project 001, which can be seamlessly worn from the actively professional day, to a social evening. The team behind this initiative is designer Zyad Khoury and his business partner Alexandre Khawam.
Project 001 is produced in a factory by machine, but a team of tailors hand finish each piece to ensure a high standard of craftsmanship. Maintaining an ethos of making something classic new again, KAYOMO LAB exclusively sources vintage fabrics from esteemed fashion houses such as Valentino and Missoni to reinvent old favourites in a new silhouette.
It is a pillar of KAYOMO LAB to create one of a kind garments. Each garment is made more significant and only makes the handcraft element of production more important to get absolutely right. No detail is overlooked, every piece receives the attention it deserves for the discerning client.
KAYOMO LAB seeks to offer product at the affordable rate of £500 plus VAT. The customer is successful, but still working. The price point is accessible but reflect the quality and hard work that goes into production.
Pieces from Project 001 will be a welcome addition to the independently minded individual who works on their own terms. To this brand, the art form of Italian tailoring and craft remains a fundamental part of fine fashion, successfully fusing the creative and the pragmatic.
The attention paid to craft and reinventing Mayfair brands such as Valentino and Missoni make KAYOMO LAB a strong example of Mayfair spirit. If we are lucky, we will find ourselves at the bar at The May Fair Hotel sporting one of these striking jackets as soon as the collection is available.
Image courtesy Zambuni PR


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Written, directed and executive produced by Tyler Perry, "The Oval" is a political drama series. It tells the story of U.S President Hunter Franklin and first lady Victoria Franklin, a power-hungry interracial couple, who present a perfect facade to the world while indulging in wildly scandalous behavior behind closed doors. Not to be outdone, their children -- Gayle and Jason -- bring their own brands of volatility and excess to the Executive Residence. The soap opera-style series also tells the stories of White House staff members whose lives become intertwined with those of the first family. Head butler Richard Hallsen is an ex-serviceman who struggles to maintain his integrity in the face of greed and corruption. In "The Oval," Tyler Perry supercharges the political genre with off-the-charts levels of scandal, sex, depravity and betrayal.
- Confident
- Melodramatic
- Rousing


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Louisiana-Pacific Reports Lower Than Expected 2Q
A difficult housing market influenced the second quarter for building materials maker Louisiana-Pacific (NYSE:LPX), which reported net income of $22.3 million, or 16 cents per share for the period ended June 30.
Although weakness in demand was a problem during the quarter, results still trumped the previous year's losses of $29.2 million, or 28 cents per share.
The Nashville, Tennessee-based company, which makes products including drywall and plywood, reported a rise in revenue of 67% to $447.1 million, well above estimates of $399 million.
"Jobs, consumer confidence, inventory of vacant homes for sale, and the overall state of the economy have had a downward pull on housing," said Louisiana-Pacific CEO Rick Frost in a company release.


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Welcome to HighestPraise.Com. Our purpose is to help Christians become worshipers in spirit and truth. (John 4)
Please bear with us as we migrate all of our old content into this new system!
We offer a variety of worship resources, web sites, community, and services for the worshipers worldwide. From professional music production and recording to songwriter services such as music publishing and administration, our vision is to see the Body of Christ offering authentic, truthful, Spirit-led worship and praise to our God.
HighestPraise.Com has been online since 1995 offering free downloads of worship songs, leadsheets, chord charts, and resources. Continue Reading…


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|Monday - Firday
|8:30am - 3:30pm
Established in 1997, Clearwater Middle School is one of Bermuda's government funded schools. Our motto is "Carpe Diem – Seize the Day!" and we operate from 830am to 3pm every weekday.
With a clear vision to promote a passionate community of learners, we inspire, nurture, and empower future leaders. At Clearwater Middle School, we provide equal opportunities for each child to receive high quality secondary education regardless of their socio-economic status or academic capabilities. Total enrollments for the year are 280 students and many of our students have earned honors both academically and athletics.
We take pride in the excellent reputation that we have built over many years and we're widely respected and regarded as "the best middle school in Bermuda."


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Export 3 results:Author Title [ Type] Year
Filters: Author is Titus, M [Clear All Filters]
Journal Article
In situ Femtosecond Laser and Argon Ion Beams for 3D Microanalysis using the TriBeam. Microscopy and Microanalysis. 21:1847–1848.. 2015.
Femtosecond Laser Damage in Metals and Semiconductors During TriBeam Tomography. Microsc. Microanal. 22:3.. 2016.
EBSD Imaging of Femtosecond Laser Ablated Surfaces Using the TriBeam System. Microscopy and Microanalysis. 19:864–865.. 2013.


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Knightsbridge is one of the most affluent and exclusive addresses in London and is considered one of the two major retail centers in London. As such, Knightsbridge attracts a lot of visitors, who are always up for some fun. The residents of this posh locality are some of the wealthiest people in the country and are on the lookout for some unabashed fun during their nights. This is where Vox London comes to your aid, with our carefully curated listing of independent Knightsbridge escorts. These Knightsbridge escorts are some of the most beautiful women you might have ever seen in your life and are open to fulfilling all your fantasies, no matter how kinky they are.
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Ladies associated with us are independent escorts and not our employees. We only arrange meetings and will not be held responsible in case of any mishaps between the escort and the client. Anything mentioned on the website are only for the escorts and their services and not as an inducement for anything else. You cannot download images from the website without the consent of the website owner.


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Our Visit to Washington DC
We spent a long weekend in Washington DC visiting our son, his wife, and two children. When they moved to DC, I started a "Washington DC Travel Sketchbook" and used it to record events of our visits. I finally finished one sketchbook and this time brought Volume 2 - a Moleskine Watercolor book. Here is my 5 year old grandaughter Annabelle helping me finish the title page.
She loves to draw and paint. Together we spent hours drawing and painting at the table and then at the National Museum of the American Indian.
One of Annabelle's Nutcrackers, a memento of the ballet this year.
Two year old William in his Santa hat. We used a new set of Prang glitter paints for his hat and shirt. Annabelle loved the glitter.
I loved this painting at the American Indian Museum - Maidu Creation Story by John Fonseca (2000).
Here are several of the images I sketched from the painting while Annabelle was painting a rainbow.
William has a favorite little stuffed Elmo and several days before we arrived he ate the black felt pupils off the eyes! I brought black embroidery thread and stitched new pupils making William very gleeful.
I am hoping that these sketchbooks - and our shared time painting - will create wonderful memories for our grandchildren. Already Annabelle loves looking at the first volume and identifying the paintings.


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This is an online toolkit for how to plan and implement a City Development Strategy.
It provides tools, games and information for sustainable urban planning.
10 top skills of an urban planner
Vision: the ability to envision physical and social alternatives to the existing urban context Data collection: often in challenging environments
10 things every city needs to know about participation
Involving the community significantly improves the quality of data collected about local conditions, given the generally unreliability of existing data
10 biggest risks for planning you should have in mind
Planning is not based on recent data and accurate information. e. g. Although a settlement has continued to grow, the
Jinja, Uganda: The Critical Role of the Mayor
Best Practice Thematic block Improved Urban Environment, Poverty Reduction, Urban renewal Sector Tourism, Commerce, Industry, Education, Housing
Mumbai, India: Transformation into a World-Class City
Best Practice Thematic block Urban renewal, Economic growth, Poverty reduction, Public private partnerships, Infrastructure improvement & service delivery
Tbilisi, Georgia: CDS and Legal Frameworks
Best Practice Thematic block City Development Strategies, National Legal framework Sector Multi-sectoral Project Description In 2010, the


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"I don't care anything what the fans think of me. My teammates, my coaches, they know I come here and I bust it every single day. I try to do everything I can to help this team. My teammates have my back and whatever the fans want to think, they can think"
-- Justin Upton
This is something about which soco provided one point of view a couple of weeks ago. But on this home-stand, and especially over the holiday series against the Padres, the Bronx cheers, directed mainly at Upton, but also others, became a good deal louder and more notable. And, as quoted above, Upton's reaction a good deal more defensive. I don't actually boo Upton myself, or any of the D-backs. It's just not the way I prefer to express my disapproval: why boo, when I can come home and write a thousand words of analytic snark, accompanied by an amusingly-captioned picture? But I understand why fans do boo him.
It's a startling turnaround for J-Up, who almost exactly a year ago to the day was honored during the Home Run Derby - in which he didn't participate - by having his name chanted by the home crowd. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen at Chase. How things change. As soco pointed out, it's not as if Upton is the worst player on the team. Among everyday players, both Chris Young and Ryan Roberts have an OPS less than Upton's, but they are basically ignored - Roberts still seems fairly well-loved, despite a .639 OPS this year. What I think this demonstrates, is that there is more than just performance involved. The equation is more like:
Booing Quotient = Expectations - Performance + Hype + Salary - Intangibles
Let's go through each of those categories with regard to Upton.
Expectations. There are two bullets with Justin's name on them here: his 2011 performance and his spot in the batting order. He was an MVP candidate last year, named first by one voter, and his fourth-place finish was fully justifiable. He hit .289, swatted 31 homers, stole 21 bases and played very good defense - all in his age 23 season. It's absolutely reasonable to expect something similar for 2012: obviously, there'll always be variations, but given his age, it seemed improvement was more likely than decline. We may not have expected another MVP-caliber year, but another All-Star selection seemed a near-lock.
Hitting where he does in the order also comes with expectations, and I personally think that dropping Upton down would be a good thing, as much to reduce the pressure on him to produce, as to help the team. Fans don't expect anything like as much out of a player hitting seventh as they do someone hitting third - this is probably a factor in why the struggles of Roberts, who has hit 7th more often than anyone else, have largely gone unnoticed. The third spot is thought of as belonging to the best overall hitter on the team, and the chart below confirms this to be the case overall. It shows the production from each spot in the order, for the National League this season:
|Batting 1st
|Batting 2nd
|Batting 3rd
|Batting 4th
|Batting 5th
|Batting 6th
|Batting 7th
|Batting 8th
As a contrast, the fanbase simply has far lower expectations for Chris Young. Sure, he's hitting .206, but his OPS this year is only 39 points below what he produced for the Diamondbacks in 2011; the same gap for Upton is 172 points.
Performance. More strictly, this should be "perceived performance", because emotionally, fans react in a way that is not absolutely correlated with OPS. Clutch performance is likely weighed more heavily than what you do with numbers on base. And what you do at home, in front of the fans who have paid good money to see you there, is more important than road numbers. The latter has perhaps hurt Upton more than most: while his numbers on the road haven't changed all that much (dropping from a .767 OPS to .713), his home ones have absolutely cratered. Through the team's first 41 home games of this year and last:
There are a couple of factors which I think have particularly led fans to be irritated with Upton. He is 0-for-5 when stealing a base at Chase this season, and we all know how immensely frustrating outs on the base-paths are. It's kinda weird, since he is 10-for-12 on the road, and as the numbers above show, he was fine at Chase last year. But perhaps the biggest thing is Upton's strikeouts. Not so much the number of them, as his K-rate of 22.9% is below Miguel Montero, Jason Kubel, Paul Goldschmidt and Young. It's more that getting on for half of his strikeouts (45%, third in the National League) have seen him take strike three.
That's a dagger to the heart of the spectator. It's one thing to put the ball in play: that gives hope that something might happen, even on a weak ground-out to the infield. It's another to take a rip and come up empty: hey, at least you're trying. But to just shoulder the bat and watch strike three go past? Man, you'd better make sure your other at-bats have better outcomes. If they do, not a problem - #1 and #2 on the backwards-K list, are Jose Altuve and David Wright, both of whom are going to the All-Star Game. But when things aren't going well, those strikeouts looking will be found in the debit column.
Fielding is another area, where Upton's performance is often seen as problematic, but the issue here is more one of perception. J-Up's strength is his phenomenal range, which is easily overlooked by the eye. Take two outfielders: one has the range of a glacier, but always makes the plays if he gets to the ball, while the other covers entire continents, but sometimes lets the ball clank off his glove. Fans will tend to view the former as a "better" fielder, even if he converts fewer balls into outs. That's because, when a ball is hit, the natural inclination is to watch the ball,. not the fielder running towards it, so you're only aware of what happens after the two intersect.
Team performance also plays into fan reaction. Put bluntly, if we were leading the division, rather than in third place and below .500, everything would be lovely, and Upton's performance would merit little more than an eye-roll or two. But a failing team will draw criticism, which will be aimed particularly at those seen as most responsible - as noted the other day, Justin Upton's drop-off is a very significant factor there. And, as with individuals, a poor team performance at home likely exacerbates things: the Diamondbacks' 20-21 record at Chase, going into Friday night, is ahead of only a handful of teams in the National League.
Not something the player has much control over. But this feeds into expectations from a different direction, entirely unconnected with previous performance. When you are appearing in All-Star Game commercials and have a section of the ballpark named after you, for instance... Now, by other cities' standards, this may not be considered particularly high-profile, and the Diamondbacks have, in general, been more interested in promoting the team as an entity, rather than individual players on it [And who can blame them, after the disasters which ended up being previous "Faces of the Franchise"]
But Justin Upton is likely the nearest thing this team has to a FotF in the community at large. While this can certainly work in terms of promoting the team and the franchise, it's very much a double-edged sword. Remember when Eric Byrnes was cast in a similar role? How did that end up? Obviously, we're not talking anything like an exact parallel - I still firmly believe the best of Upton is yet to come. But it speaks to the dangers of promoting a player: hitching a team's star to an individual's fortunes has its risks.
Upton isn't the highest-paid player on the team. That'd be Stephen Drew, at $7.75 million. He's not even the highest-paid outfielder: Jason Kubel ($7.5m). But at just shy of seven million, Upton is still earning more than four times the median salary on the 2012 Diamondbacks. Again, this channels toward expectations, in a way separate from performance. You know how they say "speed doesn't slump," or "hustle never takes a day off"? Neither does a large pay-check. If you're being paid at or close to replacement level, no-one minds too much if your numbers are at or close to replacement.
There may also be an awareness of what happens down the line: because Upton has a long-term guaranteed contract. Next year, he will be the highest-paid outfielder, at $9.75 million. The year beyond that, he'll probably be the highest-pad player on the entire club, at $14.25 million - I think that'll also make him the highest-paid position player in franchise history. And yet, he's arguably not playing at the level expected for his current salary, less than half of that future amount. Let's just say that a certain level of concern is justified: this team does not have a large budget can ill-afford any albatross-shaped contracts.
Covering a whole range of stuff, not to be found on baseball-reference.com or fangraphs.com. What has the rapport between the player and fans been like previously? How is his attitude perceived generally? Does he smile a lot? The last isn't a joke. I've noticed over the years, that fans appreciate players who appear to enjoy playing the game, and regularly go about their business with a smile. It seems such a little thing, but it can overshadow almost any number of faults: Augie Ojeda would be the poster-child: over the four years he was in Arizona, AugieAugieAugie had an OPS of .651, barely replacement level, but was adored by the fans.
This area may be Upton's biggest hurdle. His relationship with the local fans has often been prickly, and hardly a master-class in how to win friends and influence people. That goes at least back to June 2009 and this game against the Angels:.
Right fielder Justin Upton committed one of three errors in an ugly, five-run Angels fifth and uncorked a wild throw that nearly led to another run... Fans sarcastically cheered when Upton caught a routine fly ball for the first out of the sixth inning. After he recorded the third out, he ran near the stands down the right-field line and pretended to toss the ball into the crowd but instead took it with him into the dugout... Upton, through a club spokesman, declined to speak with reporters after the game.
It's also perhaps enlightening to note Upton is likely the most-disliked Diamondback among supporters of opposing teams. Obviously, it's different when he plays for your team, but the perceived attitude which rubs other fans the wrong way is harder to overlook when he's also not playing well. Certainly, coming right out and saying "I don't care anything what the fans think of me" is a horrible mis-step, not least because it's not true - or, at least, I sincerely hope not. Kirk Gibson tried to spin it, "I think what he was saying was that he goes out and he knows he prepares and he's doing everything he can."
Not quite how I read it. But certainly, not exactly helping, Justin. As Scott Bordow of The Republic put it in a well-thought out article, "Being a fan rarely has anything to do with reason. The sooner Upton understands that, the better off he'll be."
Why boo?
No, it's not going to make a player "play better". I doubt anyone booing really thinks this. However, I think it does act as a sign, both to management and the player, that their current level of performance is unacceptable, and that some action needs to be taken. There are very few methods that fans can express frustration and a desire for change, in ways that they know will be heard - literally, in this case - by those in charge. Online complaints or ranting at your TV isn't going to cut it.
Yes, we should be supportive of the home team, but that does not mean we need to sit placidly by like sheep, and applaud poor performances - that's not the kind of reinforcement we want to give either. Being booed by home fans should be a wake-up call. If your mother, who has been complimenting your dropping grades all year, finally says they're not good enough, would you tell her "I don't care!" or think, "Hmm, if even she's being critical, maybe I'd better buck my ideas up"?
The solution
Fortunately, this is entirely in Justin's hands. If he doesn't want to get booed - and I've little doubt, despite his protestations to the contrary, that he doesn't - then he needs to play better. That's really it. (though smiling more, when appropriate, would probably help too). Last night, driving in the tying and go-ahead runs, was a start. But just as the fans did not turn on Upton as the result of a single day's performance, they won't go back to cheering him based on a couple of productive at-bats. However, I'm confident he has the skills to do so, and it won't be long before the crowds are once again looking forward to Upton's appearances with anticipation, rather than dread.


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LITCHFIELD PARK, AZ — A Valley woman is hospitalized with a flesh-eating disease after being diagnosed with the flu.
On Jan. 11, Christin Lipinski was diagnosed with the flu and received treatment for the viral infection. However, after experiencing increasingly worse pain, Lipinski was taken to a local trauma center and it was discovered that what began as a bacterial infection had developed into a highly aggressive form of necrotizing fasciitis – an extremely rare and destructive disease.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the disease can lead to death in a short amount of time and surgery is required to prevent it from spreading.
People are more prone to serious infections when they're sick with the flu because one's immune system is weakened, said Dr. Frank LoVecchio, an emergency room physician with Banner Health.
"The flu doesn't cause necrotizing fasciitis," LoVecchio explained. "…You're many, many thousands of times more likely to get the flu this year than necrotizing fasciitis once in your lifetime."
Lipinski underwent two surgeries to remove 30 percent of her tissue which had become infected due to the disease. She remains hospitalized in critical, yet stable, condition.
Lipinski has a long road to recovery ahead, a GoFundMe page for her explained. She will have to undergo several skin graft surgeries, reconstruction surgeries and physical therapy. It's believed she'll remain in the hospital for several months as a precaution.
Her husband, Nate Lipinski, described his wife as a good person who enjoys volunteering and tutoring children. She's a special education teacher and frequently donates to local charities.
Nate said after she was diagnosed with the flu, the pain continued to get worse and was unbearable for her. The pain first started in her underarm. After she was admitted to the hospital a biopsy was done of the area and she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating bacteria.
"It felt like a horrible dream that I couldn't wake up from," Nate said.
Due to the current circumstances, it's unknown when Lipinski will be able to return to work, the GoFundMe page said. Donations raised will go towards her medical expenses that aren't covered by insurance. As of Sunday afternoon, $2,500 had been raised of the $10,000 goal.
"To me, it has felt like a life-changing event and we haven't even gone through the hard part yet," Nate said.
Additional information about necrotizing fasciitis from the CDC:
The infection is not contagious and most cases occur randomly
The most common way to get the flesh-eating bacteria is through a break in the skin
Chances of catching the disease are rare if you practice good hygiene and treat wounds properly
Symptoms include:
- Fever
- Chills
- Fatigue
- Vomiting
- Ulcers
- Blisters
- Black spots
LoVecchio explained that body aches and fever are the most common symptoms.
Since 2010, 600 to 1,200 cases have occurred in the U.S. each year


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Jorge Grant has set his sights on Notts County being involved in a promotion race next season, and says it was one of the reasons why he returned to the club.
The Nottingham Forest midfielder hopes the Magpies can challenge for a place in League One next term, having signed on a season-long loan from the Reds.
Notts were impressive under boss Kevin Nolan at the back end of last season as they climbed away from the relegation zone and are fancied to do well this campaign.
Grant now hopes the Magpies can build on those foundations and be among the leading contenders for a top-seven finish.
"One of the reasons I came back was for promotion," said the 22-year-old.
"Everybody knows that we have to be aiming for and that's what we will be pushing for too.
"The lads are thinking that it would be a big achievement.
"When I came here last year we were in the relegation zone and the following months were about pushing on and building foundations for this season.
"We've now got to take those foundations and add to them some more."