text:
Monday, December 1, 2008
Because Every Blog Needs a Jingle
Monday, December 1, 2008
Hit it, boys!
(This is the whole episode. If you get impatient, skip ahead to 1:27. Oh, and parents: be aware there is some mild language in the vid.)
I would like to thank Sam and Rob not only for the music (the song I'm playing), but also for being such devastatingly intelligent, witty, and attractive guys. Impeccable taste AND funny to boot? You two feel free to geek out at my pad anytime.
You know, to play cards. My hubby and I are always looking for new Spades partners.
75 comments | Post a Comment
- Boozy Tooth said...
Yay and hooray! Definitely well deserved props, Jen. You are already a legend. Did you notice me in the video? I'm the one passed out on the floor with an empty bottle of Cabernet! Good times!
Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com - December 1, 2008 at 9:39 AM
That's great...
- December 1, 2008 at 9:42 AM
Waaaaaaaay too much fun! Very cool!
- December 1, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- Suzyhomemaker said...
LOVE it :) hahahaha
- December 1, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- Unknown said...
Awesomeness! I loved it!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:02 AM
- An Apron Straitjacket said...
That rocks! All this fame and fortune because the world if full of people who are in the wrong line of work. Life is good!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:08 AM
- Tonkamom said...
Haha! Love it!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:09 AM
- Melissa Dominic said...
cake rex, oh man, i died!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Great jingle, and so well-deserved! Hope someone makes you a nice cake to mark the happy occasion...
- December 1, 2008 at 10:15 AM
- Amanda said...
That's fabulous!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:17 AM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
That is the coolest thing EVER!!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:27 AM
- April said...
I love it! It is fantastic, I was laughing so much cause it is all too true! This is one of my favorite blogs.. my husband is always wondering what I am cracking up over... :)
- December 1, 2008 at 10:28 AM
Awesome! Congradulations! ;)
- December 1, 2008 at 10:37 AM
- Jenn said...
That is great! It's going to be in my head all day. You totally needed a theme song.
- December 1, 2008 at 10:40 AM
- WakeGrace said...
YAY! you deserve it! haha its lovely! and will be stuck in my head all day. CAKE REX! bahaha!
- December 1, 2008 at 10:46 AM
- Grandma J said...
Is there any way you can have that jingle play whenever someone opens your blog? Just wonderin'.
- December 1, 2008 at 10:54 AM
- ValGal said...
SO AWESOME LOL! Too bad they didn't get the whole professional cake thing but still totally rad ROFL.
- December 1, 2008 at 11:03 AM
- Ekio Locatiare said...
Ha! Thats great ^-^
I've shown your blog to my husband and he cannot read it for very long. He's too busy laughing and telling me to stop! ^-~
Keep up the funny, I love it! - December 1, 2008 at 11:03 AM
- Garret said...
Perfect! Loved it.
- December 1, 2008 at 11:06 AM
- Whitney said...
I just found your blog and I am loooving it. So funny!
- December 1, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- tamdoll said...
That is so funny, I can't start my day without a laugh at your blog!
- December 1, 2008 at 11:45 AM
- Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...
Ahhhhsome!!!! I wanna jingle!
- December 1, 2008 at 11:46 AM
- jen bryner said...
that is awesome! and so funny!!! and can i just say, i LOVE spades!
- December 1, 2008 at 12:38 PM
I love how they admit they thought it was going to be boring - LOL! Not gonna lie - I thought the same thing :0
BUT - before you delete my comment - our way-too-hasty assumptions turned out to be dead wrong and now your site (along with garfield's daily comic ) are the only add-ons on my yahoo home page. Although now my co-workers think I'm a little looney since I sit alone laughing my @$$ off (I've tried to share with them - but they're not weird enuf to get it). - December 1, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Hey, that's awesome! Congratulations! Publicity AND a jingle. It doesn't get any better than that. :)
- December 1, 2008 at 12:55 PM
Absolutely Amazing! The sheer amount that this blog has grown and gained recognition over the last few months is simply mind-blowing! You're truly an inspiration to all us bloggers.
Keep up the great work, Jen! :) - December 1, 2008 at 1:14 PM
- Kelly said...
Damn. Man-on-the-right (also known as microwave cop) has a wedding ring. That ruins my plans for the day.
Anyway, congrats! - December 1, 2008 at 1:18 PM
- Andrea said...
Hilarious! I love Riegel and Blatt (if you haven't already, you have to check out their "weekend plans" music video!)
Way to go - the jingle and the props are so very deserved. The cakes are crazy, but it is the commentary that makes me laugh out loud. - December 1, 2008 at 1:19 PM
Hey... is one of those guys a voice actor? Why do I recognize the voice?
- December 1, 2008 at 1:35 PM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
Haha! That is an awesome vid. Now, if someone could do a jingle for me, I'd have it made in the shade.
- December 1, 2008 at 1:42 PM
- Amy Ellen said...
Awesome, everyone needs a theme song, LOL!!! Funny
Amy - December 1, 2008 at 1:46 PM
Also, you mentioned that there was language, but you didnt mention that there was mention of something every parent of a newborn to 5 year old needs-- a third arm. - December 1, 2008 at 2:04 PM
- Mandy said...
Wow, you are for real famous... that is way awesome, you deserve it, you are very, very funny. Go Jen!!
- December 1, 2008 at 2:17 PM
- *Michelle said...
ehhehehe - thats awesome!!! You should see if you can embed that part of the video on your page somewhere. =)
- December 1, 2008 at 2:43 PM
- Mari said...
Congratulations, that's awesome!
- December 1, 2008 at 3:01 PM
Jen, as if coming to this site for the cakes wasn't joyous enough, I love that you give us obscure pop culture references in your blogs.
Obscure ABBA reference FTW! - December 1, 2008 at 3:02 PM
Great, now I'm going to be walking around the house singing the Cake Wrecks song all day!
- December 1, 2008 at 3:15 PM
- shine said...
Truly inspiring. Wonder what the rest of us have to do to get a jingle? :)
Also, I have to wonder if they just didn't happen to come across the naked mohawked babies riding carrots. If they had, surely that one would have made the video.
Just promise me that next week the jingle won't be blaring at me when I click on your site...I'll likely be fired. I can only barely contain my laughter as is. - December 1, 2008 at 3:23 PM
- Dea said...
Awesome!!! Love it - especially their theory on how the wrecks occur!!!
(HEY - for once, my verification is ACTUALLY a real word - blithe!) - December 1, 2008 at 3:28 PM
- fairyhedgehog said...
That's great! Getting a mention is one thing but getting your very own jingle is something else.
- December 1, 2008 at 3:55 PM
- Feisty Irish Wench said...
odd word verf: ressesse - playground, a la Francais style - December 1, 2008 at 3:55 PM
That totally ROCKS!!! So very cool! Btw, wonder where I can get one of those 3rd arms?!
- December 1, 2008 at 4:07 PM
- Ross said...
Congratulation - December 1, 2008 at 4:16 PM
That's awesome! You have your own soundtrack, now you need this so it can play wherever you go (saw this today and it made me laugh): http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/illuminated/a5bf/?cpg=83H
- December 1, 2008 at 4:26 PM
so..wheres the wreck?
- December 1, 2008 at 4:55 PM
- Dy said...
- December 1, 2008 at 5:25 PM
- Scritzy said...
Those guys ROCK, and so do you! The jingle is a much better earworm than some of the horrible "holiday" songs that have begun playing. Yaaaaaaaaaaah!
Word verification: inglorke. Opposite of outglorke. - December 1, 2008 at 5:45 PM
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! to Laura H for catching the ABBA reference! I was REALLY hoping I wasn't the only one to get it...because it would be just a teensy bit depressing.
JennyKitten76--I know what you mean. I sent the mohawk baby carrot jockey cake to a co-worker and didn't get any reaction at all. What's wrong with people?!?
Word Verification--bolsicin. Only use as directed by your doctor. - December 1, 2008 at 5:56 PM
- Garland said...
Love it!
- December 1, 2008 at 6:04 PM
- dlyn said...
Congrats - well deserved!
- December 1, 2008 at 6:28 PM
- punxxi said...
NOTORIETY!!!! You are so totally awesome...
- December 1, 2008 at 6:41 PM
- punxxi said...
hahahah my words is mentals i am so honored... Yeah Jen needs to go to think geek, but the shirt she needs is the tee shirt plays drama music for you, a personal soundtrack for your life!!! I so want that for Christmas.
- December 1, 2008 at 6:49 PM
- Jayne Neverow said...
Is that Magnum P.I.
Why why? Hilarious. Congrats. - December 1, 2008 at 8:01 PM
- eba said...
oh too funny. Rob is married to my first cousin, and he is indeed a very funny guy. I *love* Kakerex!
- December 1, 2008 at 8:21 PM
- Cake for Breakfast said...
Woohoo for being super famous! Cakes Wrecks takes over the world!
- December 1, 2008 at 8:42 PM
- Jessica said...
Just further proof this is the most entertaining blog out there: how many have other people writing theme songs for them?
- December 1, 2008 at 9:16 PM
- Trish said...
That's great!! I love your blog and check it every day. I've even submitted my own cake wreck, but it hasn't made it in. I showed your blog to a friend of mine who is a professional baker, he can't get enough of it!
Thanks for such an enjoyable site, Jen. - December 1, 2008 at 9:38 PM
- Diana said...
awesome! Loved it! never heard of the guys! Now I do!
- December 1, 2008 at 9:58 PM
Seriously, this is bigtime! LOL!
I remember reading here when there were one or two comments a post. Congrats on your appeal--as a former cake decorator, I'm happy to just read about the wrecks, and not be featured.
I do carry my camera with me to the store now, just in case! - December 1, 2008 at 10:10 PM
- Cyndi said...
OMG, have you seen the McD commercial with the wedding cake made of McNuggets? The mere thought makes me want to puke, but my first instinct was to find a still for you to post - still looking!
- December 1, 2008 at 11:30 PM
- Katy said...
ROFL Love it!
- December 1, 2008 at 11:43 PM
- Jennifer Foster said...
- December 2, 2008 at 12:16 AM
- Cassie said...
LMFAO.. Absolute gold!!
- December 2, 2008 at 6:08 AM
Congratwat on your "mention" on the Show! Thhaats aWesome!
These guys seem "hilarious"!
wvotd:cenocy. Part of a playground game, with cenosaw. - December 2, 2008 at 8:52 AM
your earlier posts were better.
- December 2, 2008 at 9:48 AM
That was awesome! And I also loved microwave cops! Ha!!
- December 2, 2008 at 11:50 AM
Congrats, although I haven't had a chance to hear it yet, blackberry won't play flash, and can't really blast the jingle in my cubicle!
And please, as already requested, no automatic music on websites!! Some of us would like to keep our jobs, thanks.
And I hate to mention it but...
3 days, no new wreck...need... Wreck... Must. Laugh. Soon...
Alex - December 2, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Spades. I haven't played that since college. Of course that's about all I did in college.
When's the next hand start, I'm there! - December 2, 2008 at 2:51 PM
- Das Mutter said...
Yay! That is hilareous and so cute to boot. Congrats on the jingle-jangle!
- December 2, 2008 at 4:34 PM
Heads up - this embedded video triggers an infection warning from anti-spyware software from Computer Associates. It's unclear whether this is any real threat; there are reports of this particular issue giving CA's stuff false positives. The virus it reports is called Actns/Swif.T; worth a lookup if you're concerned.
- December 2, 2008 at 7:14 PM
- L said...
LMAO! That is so awesome!
- December 3, 2008 at 7:04 AM
that is so cool!!!
- December 3, 2008 at 11:33 AM
- VLP said...
O....I love this site so much! The cake wrecky, creamy, sweet, filling goodness just makes my day! :)
That theme song was too much!! LOL - December 9, 2008 at 1:16 PM
Someone asked if Sam Riegel is a a voice actor; yes, he is! He's probably best known for voicing Donatello of the Ninja Turtles, and he also does voice work for a lot of anime, so if you watch anime you've probably heard his voice somewhere.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sam_Riegel - lists his roles. :) - December 17, 2008 at 4:42 AM
- A Craftaholic's World said...
Oh My Gosh!! I'm in tears!! I love this and your blog Rocks!!
Keep up the good wrecks I mean work!
Debra Smith - December 29, 2008 at 1:02 PM
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text:
Personal papers of Benjamin B. King - Materials related to Zambia
- Serie
- 1964-1994
The papers consist of a body of materials related to Zambia. King undertook a mission to Zambia for the Bank and wrote a report on it, and he collected information about and remained interested in Zambia thereafter. The materials related to Zambia include four documents prepared and distributed for the December 1986 meeting of the Consultative Group on Zambia, which had had its first meeting in June 1978. Most of the other documents related to Zambia are internal World Bank documents, with a few Bank publications and some publications from other sources. The materials are arranged in four sections: Consultative Group documents; unpublished Bank materials; Bank publications; and other publications. This is a useful body of materials for an overview of Zambian economic issues in the 1980s.
Benjamin B. King

subset: commoncrawl


text:
View the complete recipe
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Harissa – Once You Go Tunisian, Other Hot Sauces Aren't as Pleasing
View the complete recipe
33 comments:
- Unknown said...
Can you preserve this? It would make a great gift.
- March 20, 2012 at 4:12 PM
- Chef John said...
I've never tried, but assume you could can this in mason jars in a hot water bath if prepped properly.
- March 20, 2012 at 4:15 PM
- Nikki said...
What can you use this on? Do you think you could use this with chips like chips and salsa or no?
- March 20, 2012 at 4:42 PM
- Chef John said...
See 4th paragraph!
- March 20, 2012 at 4:59 PM
Looks absolutely fantastic. I must try this!
Thanks, Chef John! - March 20, 2012 at 5:37 PM
- inchrisin said...
You charred the peppers on the flame and then scraped ALL of the char off. Couldn't you just go easier on the burn factor?
- March 20, 2012 at 6:36 PM
- Food Junkie said...
Looks good and is the sort of thing I know I'll love. How long does fresh harissa like this last in the fridge?
- March 20, 2012 at 7:26 PM
Ok..first of all I love the LL Cool J reference. And I love your site, keep up the great work.
- March 20, 2012 at 8:51 PM
I'm from Tunisia and I can tell you we NEVER use Kosher salt in authentic Harissa, only sea salt!
Oh wait. Never mind...I'm from California!
, - March 20, 2012 at 8:51 PM
Did I see the freakishly small wooden spoon???No shout out to spoon in the vid????
- March 21, 2012 at 1:08 AM
- Kir said...
Why store bought harissa (real tunisian) are usually much more thick?
- March 21, 2012 at 4:50 AM
Yum! I was wondering how long this will keep in a jar in the fridge? thank you!
- March 21, 2012 at 6:46 AM
- Chef John said...
Not sure about shelf life, but I'll guess a week. I hear if you cover surface with oil it lasts longer.
- March 21, 2012 at 11:24 AM
- Chris K. said...
I bet this would be fantastic with chicken wings.
- March 21, 2012 at 2:47 PM
- marie said...
Seeds don't have capsicum, actually. It's the pith around them that does. Seeds are safe. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capsicum#Capsaicin_in_capsicum
(I didn't know that until recently)
Thanks for another great video! - March 21, 2012 at 3:12 PM
- Rita said...
YAY! for the freakishly small spoon!
that harissa looks so good! that would also be good with burgers and ribs. - March 21, 2012 at 5:06 PM
Just for the record, Scotch Bonnet peppers and Habaneros are closely related but they're not the same. Scotch Bonnets are sweeter and a bit stouter than their Habanero cousins. - March 22, 2012 at 12:14 AM
- Feeling Food said...
Chef John, you hit the tasty notes everytime. Delicious!
- March 22, 2012 at 5:07 PM
- DnR's MOM said...
ohh, LOVE the freakishly small wooden spoon.......
- March 22, 2012 at 5:17 PM
- Alec006 said...
this sauce sound like a spicy romesco
don't you think?
and what about it'em with fries - March 26, 2012 at 3:36 AM
- Nowal said...
Although this sauce does not have an authentic harissa taste, at least not the pasty and fiercely hot version that I am used to which goes well with seafood and fish, it is nonetheless a delicious sauce. I used this sauce to make a nice middle eastern dip: mixed this sauce with some labna, chopped walnuts, and fresh mint, served with warm pita. A very nice appetizer. Thanks again!
- March 28, 2012 at 4:01 AM
I do not have an open flame to fire roast the peppers, what should I do instead?
- March 29, 2012 at 12:46 AM
- Chef John said...
broiler? or outdoor grill?
- March 29, 2012 at 2:54 AM
"bc i wear a lot of scotch bonnet hats, and it gets confusing" laughing hilarious! you are the best chef john!
- April 5, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Thank you for this fabulous recipe and another excellent video! Your demos are simply the best!
If you haven't come across it, I thought you might like the following blog, for its spicy flavors, brilliant colors, great food photography and unique personality: http://www.spiciefoodie.com/ - April 30, 2012 at 8:40 PM
- joannedamon said...
How much sauce does this make?
- May 4, 2012 at 6:06 PM
- Chef John said...
I think it was like a cup and 1/2
- May 4, 2012 at 7:25 PM
- Gretchen in NOLA said...
Sounds gross...and yes it was, so a lesson in how NOT to mess with Chef J's harissa:
used red bell pepper, plus red and green jalapenos, garlic, cumin, coriander seeds (cilantro went to seed and it's awesome!), hate/hate/ha-yay-yay-yate-tuh! caraway seeds, so used brown mustard seeds, then toasted seeds, etc., used dried Mexican oregano b/c no mint...yada, yada.
Otherwise, did all as directed, and it was a lot NOT-of-this-Earth disgusting. Sorry, had to vent. Short story LONG, listen to our beloved Chef! - May 6, 2012 at 4:09 PM
Thanks, John for sharing. My husband and I love this recipe! A note to others, use gloves when working with the hot peppers. My finger tips are still burning, but a good burn well worth it! :)
- May 25, 2012 at 4:43 PM
- Alex said...
Man, you're really pulling out all the stops on the spicy threshold! Haha. This'll be great for my dad's birthday party next week. Thanks for sharing John! What substitute would you recommend for cumin? My dad's allergic to it, you see. I've been using coriander as a substitute and though it tastes the same, it's not "the same" without that smoky flavor. I even experimented with mixing different spices, but it just tastes weird.
Alex Staff - November 15, 2012 at 1:00 PM
- Chef John said...
Sorry, but I don't know of anything else that tastes like cumin! :)
- November 15, 2012 at 1:07 PM
- Unknown said...
Is it possible to make this and put it in the freezer for later?
I love your site you are fantastic. I would like to see more from the BBQ if possible. - September 29, 2013 at 8:32 AM
thanks Chef! needed inspiration for a new hot sauce, didn't have lemon so I used lime, Coconut oil instead of veg, and minced in kaffir lime leaves for an after note -amazing results, I really like the complexity of the cumin,coriander, and caraway
- May 1, 2014 at 9:09 AM


text:
Now, as Isaac moves north from Louisiana, it could affect other parts of the country, and we'll be following that story as it develops. The other big story we have been following this week is the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida. Today is the final day, and it's an important one for GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney. He'll officially accept the nomination this evening.
Yesterday, Romney took a break from the hubbub of the convention to do a little campaigning elsewhere. NPR's Ari Shapiro reports on his getaway.
ARI SHAPIRO, BYLINE: The morning after his wife's speech to the Republican convention, Mitt Romney hopped a plane for a day trip to Indianapolis. That's where thousands of veterans are meeting for the American Legion convention.
UNIDENTIFIED AMERICAN LEGION OFFICIAL: ...the massive influx into the country of illegal immigrants.
SHAPIRO: When Romney's entourage arrived, an American Legion official was reading a resolution condemning illegal immigration. Democrats are trying to make inroads with veterans, particularly young vets. But this largely gray-haired audience is not an Obama-friendly crowd. Bobbie Lussier is a retiree from Manassas, Virginia. She's there with her husband, who's a vet. And she has strong feelings about President Obama.
BOBBIE LUSSIER: I just - I don't like him. Can't stand to look at him. I don't like his wife. She's far from the first lady. It's about time we get a first lady in there that acts like a first lady, and looks like a first lady.
SHAPIRO: The president spoke to this group in person, last year. This week, Mr. Obama addressed them by video. That was the first of many contrasts Romney drew with his rival.
MITT ROMNEY: When our nation called, you answered. And I consider any opportunity to address our nation's veterans, a privilege not to be missed.
SHAPIRO: His speech mostly focused on foreign policy. He attacked the president for allowing deep Pentagon cuts that both parties in Congress agreed to. And Romney repeated his accusation that this president has lowered America's standing on the international stage.
ROMNEY: In dealings with other nations, he has given trust where it's not earned, insult where it's not deserved, and apology where it's not due.
SHAPIRO: Romney offered new ways to expand veterans' education, jobs and health care. For example, he says vets should get in-state tuition rates no matter where they live. And he wants people with military training to get trade credentials more easily.
ROMNEY: And anytime a veteran is unable to receive timely health care from the VA system, he or she will be allowed to see a TRICARE provider at the VA's expense.
SHAPIRO: TRICARE is the military's health-care program. Less than three hours after he touched down in Indiana, Romney was back on a plane to Tampa, where he will accept his party's nomination to be president tonight.
Ari Shapiro, NPR News, traveling with the Romney campaign. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


text:
2018 Oct 17
Measurements on-sky show an added rotation of ~1 degree for the f/32 camera due to the mirror shift, when measuring the instrument alignment angle during on-sky checkouts afte re-installation. We have updated the telescope Instrument Alingment Angle (IAA) accordingly. The IAA is used by the telescope control system to position the cass rotator and thus the physical rotation of the instrument relative to sky to achieve the correct instrument position angle that is requested for each observation. With the adjustment to the IAA, there should be minimal impact on science data, as we can measure the IAA to the same precision as previously. Due to this we are also in the process of remeasuring the Altair field lens barrel distortion mapping to provide a new solution if one is needed.
2018 Oct 2
We encountered an issue with one of the computer controller cards that reads out NIRI images and sends the data to the Gemini servers on September 6. NIRI was not able to read out images at that time. In mid-September,we were able to recover the instrument, and NIRI is taking images again.The root cause of the fault was determined to be a voltage issue with the detector controller electronics. At the end of the planned September Gemini North Engineering Shutdown, NIRI was installed on the telescope. We find after the August instrument engineering work, that the alignment of the f/32 camera has shifted slightly, but we are able to compensate for this with the telescope pointing. At this time, we do not find any impact to science observations. We will continue to characterize NIRI performance and the f/32 camera, and we will update the NIRI documentation and inform program PIs as needed
2018 Aug 2
The pupil viewer that we use to help align the instrument on the telescope, is not consistently and reliably coming into position. Engineering work will be performed ths month to improve the pupil viewer performance.
2018 May 10
NIRI overheads were recently measured, and the new values have been updated on the public website.
2012 Feb 25
NIRI is available for queue and classical imaging observations.
Not all filters are available at any one time; check the filter list to see which are currently installed.
NIRI occasionally suffers from vertical striping and shifts in DC levels which can both vary from quadrant to quadrant. Details can be found here.
2010 Jun 21
The NIRI focal plane unit which holds the various spectroscopic slits and imaging masks stopped responding on the night of June 19. On Sunday we were able to nudge the wheel to the f/6 imaging position and today engineers locked out the mechanism so that NIRI may be safely used for imaging with any camera in combination with the f/6 beam splitter and f/6 focal plane mask. Spectroscopy will be unavailable until NIRI can be warmed up and taken into the lab for repairs. Until we can disassemble NIRI to assess the severity of the problem it is unknown how much time will be required to return NIRI to a fully operational state.
2010 Apr 29
The beam splitter wheel, which determines the size of the beam to direct to the science detector, is again having problems moving into position reliably. In order to resume science operations with NIRI, we have decided to fix the beam splitter at the f/6 position which sends the largest field of view through the instrument and can therefore be used with all three cameras. This results in a several percent increase in background (which is not uniform over the field) and slightly different vignetting when used with Altair and its field lens. See here for more details.
2010 Apr 15
NIRI is cold and the beam splitter mechanism is working perfectly! NIRI is about to be re-installed on the telescope and should be available for science tomorrow.
2010 Apr 2
The beam splitter wheel detent roller and bushing were removed and refurbished (the inner bushing had translated axially and was binding the roller against the detent arm) and the Phytron drive motor was replaced. While NIRI was open we recut the f/32 4-pixel slit to be parallel and vertical.
2010 Mar 24
NIRI is cold again, and there are now no slipping gears, however, there is still too much friction in the system for the motor to move the beam splitter wheel reliably while cold. The two likely culprits which could be causing this problem are the Geneva detent mechanism roller and/or the drive motor. We have therefore begun another warm up in order to work on these components. If all goes well NIRI should be available for science in ~3 weeks. More information will be posted here as it becomes available.
2010 Mar 15
The beam splitter wheel gear box was removed and disassembled. An inspection uncovered two places where the gears had spun on their shafts, so new set-screws were installed, including one which was bent and rubbing against a nearby gear. The Geneva gear and roller assembly was re-lubricated and the gear box was re-installed. We are continuing with a thorough examination of other mechanisms while NIRI is in the lab, and will start cooling the dewar on Thursday March 18, with an on-sky target date of March 24.
2010 Mar 4
The NIRI beam-splitter wheel which is used to select between the three cameras (optomechanical layout) stopped responding on the afternoon of March 2. Troubleshooting indicates that the problem is internal and mechanical. We will therefore begin warming NIRI today to investigate further and expect NIRI to be unavailable for science through the end of March.
2009 Sep 10
After a very thorough investigation, Gemini engineers discovered two problems with NIRI: the detector controller electronics had an intermittent issue with the slow clocks, and there was a short circuit between two pins in the detector mount. These problems were fixed and routine maintenance was performed on the detector mount and cabling. Testing is ongoing, and NIRI is now being scheduled for science operations.
2009 Aug 27
Work on the NIRI detector and electronics is ongoing, and we are planning on cooling down next week to do more testing. The earliest NIRI may return to science operations is September 10.
2009 Aug 12
Over the past four months we have seen several failures of the NIRI detector to activate. These events lasted anywhere from several minutes to several hours, and the instrument was unusable during these periods. We contacted outside experts and were investigating options for troubleshooting the problem.
Unfortunately, on the night of 2009 Aug 9 this condition transitioned from intermittent to persistent, and we have not been able to activate the array since.
As the cause and severity of the problem are still unknown, it is impossible to provide an exact date when NIRI will be fixed. We are starting to warm up NIRI today so that we may perform diagnostics on the detector and control electronics. We are hoping that the problem can be located and resolved quickly so that NIRI can return to science operations by the end of August. However, NIRI may be unavailable for longer if invasive work is required.
2009 July 14
Filters rearranged for 2009B. Removed H2O ice, hydrocarbon, Br(alpha)cont. Installed Hcont, CH4(long) and HeI(2p2s).
2009 Jan 15
Filters rearranged for 2009A. Remove Bra, CH4long, Hcon157. Installed H2Oice, hydrocarb, Bracont.
2008 July 25
Filters rearranged for 2008B. Removed Jcont(1.12), Pa(beta), K(short) and hydrocarbon. Installed Y, Br(alpha), and two NB ice filters.
2008 May 14
Changed L spectroscopic flat configurations in OT library to give narrower range of signals across band.
2006 May 22
Replaced cold heads.
2005 Dec 12
Removed FeII filter; installed Pabeta and Jcont(1207).
2005 May 9
Removed Jcont(1.207) and Pabeta filters; installed Jcont(1.065).
2005 Apr
Begin multi-instrument queue observing.
2004 Nov 5
The Oct 21 - Nov 4 run was nearly wiped out by bad weather, with clouds and high humidity during the entire run. The problems with the array readout culminated during this run, and on Oct 25 we changed out the coadder board, and on Nov 1 we disabled the window cover ionizer. Ever since the array has been behaving very well, and we have seen very few instances of the quadrant bias variations or pattern noise.
2004 May 16
Third and fourth NIRI runs completed. Weather generally better during both runs, but with only a few nights of excellent seeing. ALTAIR now in frequent use with NIRI, with almost all Band 1-3 programs under way or completed. Problems with electronic pickup on array frames were somewhat alleviated starting on April 5. Typically 90% of the data frames obtained in each program since then are uncontaminated; we continue to work toward a complete solution to this problem. One of NIRI's internal motors began failing toward the end of the May run, limiting our observing options during the final three nights of the May run. That motor is being replaced during mid-May and it is expected that the instrument will be available for use at the start of the May 29 - June 9 run.
2004 Mar 12
Second 2004A observing run completed - weather conditions were appallingly bad - heavy snow/thunderstorm complete with electrical damage closed telescope for several nights; weather poor thereafter (clouds, horrible seeing) - only able to do parts of the few programs that could tolerate those conditions. Continued problems with vertical striping and different dc levels in the four array quadrants in some images; as the pattern appears nearly constant, some workarounds for this are possible.
2004 Feb 12
First 2004A observing run completed - weather conditions were generally poor (esp seeing). Some problems with array dc level instability visible as vertical striping and as different dc levels in the four array quadrants in some images; otherwise instrument performance was nominal.
2004 Jan 20
NIRI update, Dewar being cooled after mechanical overhaul and replacement of some filters in preparation for 2004B
2003 Jun 19
NIRI update, Semester 2003A Results
2003 Jan 31
NIRI update, Important guidance on selecting guide stars for NIRI during 2003A
2002 Dec 29
NIRI completes scheduled queue nights for 2002B - weather (seeing) not great on most December nights, but instrument performs well
2002 Dec 2
NIRI on telescope and being used in H-band for commissioning of ALTAIR
2002 Oct 7
NIRI update, damaged mechanisms inspected and fixed
2002 Sep 24
NIRI update; failure of pupil wheel and gimbal mechanism
2002 Sep 12
NIRI update, beginning of semester 2002B
2002 Jul 12
NIRI update, end of semester 2002A
2002 Apr 10
NIRI update, midway through semester 2002A
2002 Jan 30
Report on progress with NIRI during semester 2001B; update on current status
2001 Sept 26
Excellent progress with NIRI flexure; update on acceptance tests, queue and System Verification observations
2001 May 3
Statement regarding the availability of NIRI in 2001A


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TPMS Repair
When your TPMS alerts you to a tire pressure problem, please contact us for assistance. Our service staff is equipped with the right tools for the job. After we use our professional diagnostic tools to obtain information from your TPMS, we can help you inflate or deflate your tires until they are within the correct pressure range. We can also check that your pressure or speed sensors are working correctly. In the case that your Tire Pressure Monitoring System is simply not working at all, our service staff will determine the correct repair procedure. If you have any questions about the functionality of your TPMS, please give us a call or contact us online. We are happy to discuss your TPMS with you and look forward to sending you back out on the road with a fully operational system.
The Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS) tracks the amount of pressure in tires and alerts a driver when the pressure is at an insufficient level. There are two types of tire pressure monitoring systems—direct and indirect. A direct TPMS receives information from pressure sensors inside each tire on the vehicle, while an indirect TPMS uses speed sensor data from the wheels to determine tire pressure levels. When a tire has an insufficient level of pressure, it becomes a safety hazard for various reasons. If pressure is too high, tires tend to bounce and lose traction. If pressure is too low, tires heat up quickly and wear out easily. Heat can negatively affect the tread of a tire and ultimately lead to blowouts and accidents. We recommend that drivers pay attention to the Tire Pressure Monitoring System and heed any warnings it produces.


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Just as they promised they would on Super Tuesday evening, Mitt Romney's campaign aides spent Wednesday explaining why their boss' rivals can't possibly win the Republican presidential nomination and how they're only helping President Obama by not accepting the inevitable and leaving the race.
There was nothing subtle about the title on Romney political director Rich Beeson's memo: "Our Opponents' Last Stand: A Postmortem."
"Super Tuesday voting significantly increased Governor Romney's delegate lead and makes it increasingly difficult for any of his opponents to catch him. To date, Governor Romney has won more than 50% of all delegates awarded and now holds nearly 40% of the 1,144 delegates needed to win the nomination...
"... Neither opponent succeeded in closing his delegate deficit, and the calendar ahead offers them dwindling opportunities to close the gap. Looking at the weeks ahead, the remaining 34 contests have turned into a steep uphill climb for Governor Romney's opponents due to his 245-delegate lead and the rules for allocating delegates."
And in a teleconference with journalists, a Romney strategist sharpened the point:
"Last night, any way you slice it, was a damn good night for us. We won six states, over 200 delegates, increased our lead dramatically over all of our opponents. You just look through the memo and it lays out pretty clearly the case that the nomination is an impossibility for Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich."
And while Santorum and Gingrich should abandon hope of getting the nomination, according to the Romney aides during the conference call, Romney had nothing but delegate blue sky ahead of him.
Romney needs to win 48 percent of the remaining delegates, a campaign staffer said, having won 53 percent of the delegates available heretofore.
By contrast, Santorum would need to win 65 percent of the delegates left while Gingrich would need to win 70 percent. That should provide a good sense of why Romney's people are essentially saying "we've got this."
A journalist asked the staffers if they were sure they could reach the magic number of 1,144 before August's Republican National Convention in Tampa and what Romney's campaign would have to do to make certain of that:
"We continue to win more delegates than these guys at the same pace that we are. You don't win by losing, and for those guys to get to where they need to be they need to start winning by enormous margins. They haven't shown a propensity to be able to do that, and there's nothing in the calendar to give them any comfort that they will. Slow and steady, we know the states where we have areas of opportunity, we know how to capitalize on those. We'll get to 1,144 whether on someone else's timeline or ours."
It seemed like a fairly compelling argument by Romney's people. But some observers noted that despite the confidence projected by his aides, Romney may not be able to count to 1,144 as easily as he and his people would like everyone to think.
John Avlon and Ben Jacobs at the Daily Beast wrote:
"... the Romney camp ... argue(s) that Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich have no chance of claiming the nomination, comparing their uphill climb to the extended delegate fight between Democrats Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton in 2008. This is true, but it purposefully misses the point. Santorum, Gingrich, and Paul individually have no real path to winning the delegate fight—but collectively they are positioned to deny the nomination to Romney and kick the contest to the convention in Tampa, where all delegates are released after the first ballot."Copyright 2016 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.


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1FT Nema 5-15P to IEC 60320 C13 15A 125V 14/3 SJT Black Power Cord
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text:
Vicente Padilla (-, -.--) vs. Zach Duke (-, -.--).
COMMENTS: Finally, the action moves from the courtroom bench to the dugout bench. After an off-season with more tirades than trades, we can, at least for three hours, concentrate on baseball.
The pre-game focus in Pittsburgh, at least according to the AP, is the unseasonably warm weather and the unfortunate late-season lull the Dodgers suffered through last year before kicking some Cardinal ass in the NLDS.
The pre-game focus here at SoSG? Pull up a barstool and find out. Unless the Sons win the lottery or perish in a tragic blimp accident — and I can't decide which is more likely — there'll be an SoSGGameThread™ for every game this season. (And for Lakers playoff games, if we can keep our act together.)
And for those wondering about the opening-day roster:
- Chad Billingsley
- Jonathan Broxton
- Charlie Haeger
- Clayton Kershaw (L)
- Hiroki Kuroda
- Carlos Monasterios
- Ramon Ortiz
- Vicente Padilla
- George Sherrill (L)
- Ramon Troncoso
- Cory Wade (see note below)
- Jeff Weaver
- Brad Ausmus
- Russell Martin
- Ronnie Belliard
- Casey Blake
- Jamey Carroll
- Blake DeWitt
- Rafael Furcal
- James Loney
- Garret Anderson
- Andre Ethier
- Reed Johnson
- Matt Kemp
- Manny Ramirez
Explains Josh Rawitch at Inside the Dodgers:
Joe Torre explained that if all goes as expected, we'll purchase Russ Ortiz's contract tomorrow and officially DL Cory Wade. He likes having 12 starters, especially without Kuo and Belisario on the active roster.George Sherrill remains the eighth inning guy, according to Joe, despite a rough spring.
Joe also told the media that Ethier has had a little bruise on his knee, which was why he didn't play the last couple games but that he's fine and if this were the regular season, he'd be out there.
Not sure why the guy who suffered a strained groin during spring training is batting second — I was looking forward to seeing Kemp get some quality ABs ahead of Ethier. Is Joe Torre still making tweaks to the lineup?
And I guess that's it! Happy baseball, everyb— oh wait, I just a found a note from Sax:
Good times indeed, Señor Buzzkill!
1: Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images; 2-4: Jon SooHoo/Dodgers


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To All My Valued Employees,
There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.
However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.
First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.
However, what you don't see is the back story.
I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.
My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.
Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the Goodwill store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.
So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... You never realize the back story and the sacrifices I've made.
Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.
Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.
Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:
I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.
The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.
The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.
Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.
When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.
So where am I going with all this?
It's quite simple.
If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.
Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.
If you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about....
Your boss


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This module provides an introduction to the key components of a data warehousing solution and the high-level considerations you must take into account when you embark on a data warehousing project.
This module discusses considerations for selecting hardware and distributing SQL Server facilities across servers.
This module describes the key considerations for the logical design of a data warehouse, and then discusses best practices for its physical implementation.
This module discusses considerations for implementing an ETL process, and then focuses on Microsoft SQL Server Integration Services (SSIS) as a platform for building ETL solutions.
This module describes how to implement ETL solutions that combine multiple tasks and workflow logic.
This module describes how you can debug packages to find the cause of errors that occur during execution. It then discusses the logging functionality built into SSIS that you can use to log events for troubleshooting purposes. Finally, the module describes common approaches for handling errors in control flow and data flow.
Debugging an SSIS Package
Logging SSIS Package Events
Handling Errors in an SSIS Package
This module describes the techniques you can use to implement an incremental data warehouse refresh process.
This module describes the techniques you can use to implement data warehouse load process.
This module introduces Microsoft SQL Server Data Quality Services (DQS), and describes how you can use it to cleanse and deduplicate data.
Master Data Services provides a way for organizations to standardize data and improve the quality, consistency, and reliability of the data that guides key business decisions. This module introduces Master Data Services and explains the benefits of using it.
This module describes the techniques you can use to extend SSIS. The module is not designed to be a comprehensive guide to developing custom SSIS solutions, but to provide an awareness of the fundamental steps required to use custom components and scripts in an ETL process that is based on SSIS.
In this module, students will learn how to deploy packages and their dependencies to a server, and how to manage and monitor the execution of deployed packages.
This module introduces business intelligence (BI) solutions and describes how you can use a data warehouse as the basis for enterprise and self-service BI.


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Fruit cakes are synonymous with Xmas and no gift is complete without the signature Plum cake.As I have mentioned earlier,I made my first Christmas Fruit cake last year following Mishmash's recipe.I loved the taste but wondered if I would take that extra trouble this year too when all around bakeries and hotels sell it like hot cakes[pun intended:)].
But as they say,there is something special when you make it on your own.
I soaked the fruits and nuts about 3 weeks back and baked it yesterday so that by Xmas we'd get a matured-in-taste fruit cake.I got 2 cakes with the recipe and one is almost over.With a lovely golden caramel colour,just the right sweetness and the taste of fruits and nuts in each bite,this recipe is a keeper.I don't think I'll wait for Xmas to make this again.
Thank you so much Arundhati for this million-dollar recipe:):)
Soak the dry fruits, candied peel and tutti fruiti along with the cinnamon powder and cloves in 2/3 cup rum for anywhere between 24 hours and 1 year. (I soaked them for 3 weeks.) Do remember to remove the cloves before using the fruits.When you are ready to bake the cake, start by making the caramel. In a heavy bottomed pan, place the ½ cup of sugar and heat slowly. The sugar will begin to melt. Stir this mixture with a spoon slowly as the caramel forms. When all the sugar crystals have melted, slowly add the boiling water and stir to form a smooth mixture. Cool this completely.
Sift the flour along with the baking powder. In a mixing bowl, add the oil/butter, eggs and brown sugar and beat well. To this, add the flour mixture, the fruits and the nuts by turns. Whisk well and then add the cooled caramel.[I added the caramel along with the fruits and nuts]
Grease and line two 8 inch baking tins and divide the batter between the two. (I used a Christmas tree shaped tin and an 8 inch square tin.) Bake at 190 C/375 F for about 50 minutes.
When baked, make small slits in each cake and pour the remaining rum over them. While this cake is delicious straight out of the oven, try storing it for a week before consuming it. (To do this, wrap the cake in foil and then cover it with cling film.) This cake ages beautifully.
One of the best tasting Fruit cakes,there are a few things which attracted me towards this recipe.
--No fancy ingredients-eg:almond/rum essence,dry ginger,orange/lemon zest,spice powder etc--even without all this the cake tasted fantastic.
--The ease of making it--just like any cake recipe.Mix-beat-bake.
--No need to take special care while mixing in the fruits and nuts into the batter[no need to dust the fruits with flour].Even otherwise,the fruits gets distributed evenly and in each slice you'll get a bite of the fruits and nuts.
--Addition of eggs as a whole--somehow,seperating the eggs and beating the egg whites till peak stage and folding it in scares me off a recipe!!
I will be baking this cake again and again for sure.Try this out and you'll know why!!
Christmas Fruit Cake is off to Divya of Dilse,for her event - Show me your Cake!!
and to
Priyanka of Asankhana for Its time to Jingle again..


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Note to Self:
When leaving the house to take your daughter to her sports massage and breakfast, make SURE to turn off the stove. Apparently the water you are boiling with cinnamon and nutmeg IS flammable.
The first sign something was wrong? Hearing the dogs barking wildly and the smoke alarm going off when I got out of my car. I managed to throw the pot in a tub of water JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. Oh, and apparently I CAN run.
I was going for the great smell of cinnamon and nutmeg and ended up with the smell of freshly burned forest.
I like to f*&@ up once a day. It keeps me humble.


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As you may know, there's a never-ending debate between who's at fault when a user is infected:
- is it the user for being "gullable" or being social engineered to click on a malicious link?
- is it the fault of the antivirus or antimalware application for missing an infection?
- is it the fault of the administrator in corporate networks for not having proper policies?
- last but not least side-question: is antivirus useless?
Here's an excellent article which goes deeper into these questions and discusses about it:
(TL;DR: Imperva performed an antivirus test with doubtful and possibly improper testing methods and the (antivirus) community reacted on it)
My personal opinion? There's only one group to blame here which seems to get missed in these debates: the malware writers themselves. After all, the people who create (and use) the malware are responsible for the millions of infected machines and affected businesses, which may both lose a considerable amount of money by either
- users: paying up to ransomware or rogueware, or CC (Credit Card) theft or fraud
- businesses: personal records stolen (user/password databases), business plans stolen, not to mention the financial & productional losses.
So what's the endless discussion about and why are we not blaming the malware authors and botnet operators? (to learn more about botnets see my blogpost: the botnet wars: a Q&A)
Here are the main points antivirus companies are blamed on:
- making money on the back of the customer and
- not protecting well enough.
How much of this is true? Is antivirus dead? My only comment about this:
antivirus provides a good (basic) layer or level of protection on your machine. Is it sufficient? Maybe. Do you need extra protection? Depends. If you're a normal "home user", an antivirus and firewall will surely suffice. Free or paid antivirus doesn't really matter at that point. If you're in an organisation or corporation, antivirus will surely provide a good base to start from, not only signature-based but heuristically as well.
But you'll need more. Ideally, you need an extra set of eyes just for monitoring unusual behavior in your network. Is this realistic? Maybe. Are there solutions specifically designed for this on the market? Yes.
I won't go any deeper into the points above, as it's been discussed & debated upon many times.
Moving on:
Do ISPs (Internet Service Provider) need to take an arrow in the knee for this? How many and which ISPs are already detecting machines which are infected? These are newer and interesting questions as well. ISPs are obviously not responsible when a user is getting infected, however... When that machine in question starts sending out quite a lot of traffic (zombie), does the ISP need to take action?
In my opinion, if there's indeed an unusual load of traffic coming from a machine (sending out mass emails, trying to DDoS a box, ...) the ISP should indeed warn the user.
Some ISPs already do this, for example:
CenturyLink, KPN, Time Warner, Xs4All, Ziggo, ...
Getting back to my original point. Whenever there's a big "outbreak" of malware or there's a so called "APT" (Advanced Persistent Threat) found, people from several branches of the industry are very fast to point fingers or play the blame game (hence the title of this post). Examples:
- You have no proper security implementations!
- Your $securitysolution sucks! (use ours!)
- You(r employees) are easily fooled!
- You use Windows!
- ...
It so appears that every single person is forgetting the simple fact that malware writers are actually the cause of one's computer issues. Not antivirus. Not Microsoft. Not the user. Not the ISP.
You can basically view these as buffers. Buffers against the malware. Buffers against the bad guys. Yes, you reading this now, you're actually a buffer as well! Do you have any idea on how often companies are suffering from attacks? How many attacks are actually prevented by $securitysolution, sysadmins and even users?
So, let's state it clear for once and for all. There's only one entity to blame:
the malware writer / botnet operator / put-other-synonym-for-bad-guy-here
Why am I using the word "entity" you may wonder? Well... You must know that malware writer and botnet operator aren't actually synonyms (as opposed to suggested above). The malware writer isn't necessary a botnet operator or the other way around. One thing's for sure though: they both take the blame here.
The malware writer for creating and distributing the malware in the first place.
The botnet operator or herder for consequently infecting users.
Here's a simple flowchart I made about how the current "blame" situation is:
(the direction of the arrow indicates who is blaming who)
Note: may differ from current view
An ideal flowchart would be:
An ideal world? |
Indeed, a joint effort is necessary in this particular subject. It requires effort from all the involved parties.
The user:
- Should know his or her responsibility and consequences when browsing the web
- Should install an antivirus & firewall (free or not is irrelevant, as long as both elements are present)
- Should know there's no 100% protection. There's a maximum of 99(,9?)% protection at least.
- ... That's basically it.
The antivirus vendor:
- Should acknowledge the user.
- Should know the user's needs and shortcomings
- Should know there's no 100% protection. There's a maximum of 99(,9?)% protection at least.
- ... That's basically it.
The security company:
- Should acknowledge both the user and the antivirus vendor
- Should keep giving feedback for both instances
- Should acknowledge the cat and mouse game between "viruses" and "antiviruses"
- ... That's basically it.
- See The antivirus vendor and The security company
The 3rd party app:
- Should acknowledge the user
- Should know the user's needs and shortcomings and therefore:
- Simplify the processes while increasing the security (not easy, I know)
That's basically it. If by now you're still thinking things like "users are gullible", "X antivirus is really bad", "Y security company is really lacking", "Windows is filled with vulnerabilities", "Java, Adobe, etc. are so easily exploited", .... Then you missed the point of this post. Start again from the top.
The foundations suggested above are what they are, foundations, and is how I see it. Your foundations may differ depending on the situation you're in, but in the end we're all in the same situation:
"fighting the malicious entity".
That is why there's a need for cooperation, coordination. There are countless possibilities, but to give a few examples for a kick start (for once let's get a step ahead of the bad guys):
The 3rd party app:
Not too many options here, besides:
- listening to feedback from security companies and researchers and
- prioritize security and provide sufficient information about security patches.
- Continue the cooperation that currently exists between security companies and others
- Share your research, especially new malware trends. Everyone benefits!
The security company:
- Continue the cooperation that may currently exist between you and other companies
- Found anything interesting? Don't hesitate to share.
Note: I realize there are sometimes reasons specific findings or research may not or cannot be shared. Obviously these specific situations should not be shared then. If you're in this industry, I'm sure you'll know why. An alternative some companies are applying is simply not naming who or what has been affected, but still outlining the incident, solution approach and solution on itself.
The antivirus vendor:
- Consolidate your resources. There are countless researchers out there who are simply eager to share their findings, suggestions, research or simple MD5 hashes with you
- Share your own findings as well when there's an "APT". Do not simply use it for the next big marketing move
- Share, where appropriate, MD5 hashes so the community can benefit.
The ISP:
- Warn your customers when you see an unusual and/or malicious high traffic load from end-users
The webhost or hosting provider:
- Provide clear, useful and enough information on how to send an abuse report
Note: I realize there are more than enough (malicious) webhosts out there which do not list an abuse@ address, provide a fake one or do simply not reply. If you are a webhost, start implementing proper security checks so there's no malware being hosted on one of the websites you provide. Provide an email address or online form where security companies and/or researchers and users can send their abuse reports.
Last, but not least:
- Don't panic. Panic is a bad counselor. Stay focused and note down what happened or at least what you noticed or think what happened. What did you do right before the culprit happened?
Did it turn out your version of Office or Windows is illegal?
Did you click on a link? Did you pick up a call from "Microsoft Support" but ended up in paying countless dollars/euros/pounds/etc. for a problem that didn't even exist in the first place? - Have you been infected with malware (in particular banking malware or ransomware)?
- Were you the victim of CC theft, identity theft or any other form of online fraud or theft?
Report it to the correct instances. Sadly, I found very little useful websites in regards to those situations. Prevention tips are scattered everywhere, but what to do afterwards, when you sit there and think about what has happened, well, that information is very scarce. What I did find is listed here:
- Internet Crime Complaint Center - http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx
- Learn how to tell whether your Microsoft software and hardware are genuine - http://www.microsoft.com/en-gb/howtotell/default.aspx
Is this of no useful information to you? Exactly. More resources should be available for this.
"What now?":
- Contact your local police office and file a "cybercrime" complaint: you're a victim!
- Consult the website of your local CERT - Computer Emergency Response Team - Often they have additional information or may even have a hotline or contact form to report your incident.
- ...
In this post I have addressed the current situation in regards of a malware infection and its results. Who is to blame? The answer is simple: the malicious entity. This may sound mysterious but as indicated above, I mean the malware writer and/or botnet operator. You can also call it the "cybercrook" or "cybercriminal" or whatever term best suits your needs.
I have proposed a new scheme, a new situation, a new model where we can all benefit from. Insights have been given and hopefully something can come out of it. As a matter of fact, it all boils down to these 3 points:
- You are not to blame, only the malicious entity is to blame;
- Look at yourself before pointing the finger to others who have in fact provided you all these years with resources!
- Work together. Cooperate. Coordinate. Consolidate. You may call it "the 3 C's".
Be victorious in your efforts to stop "cybercrime" once and for all!
Originally I had named this blogpost "Responsibility with malware infections", but as the post (yes, you may call it a rant if you like) continued to grow, I realised the current title fits the subject in a more appropriate and understandable way. Though you should still take your responsibilities when this kind of incident happens.
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Suggestions? I'm all open for it. Give me a shout-out on Twitter or simply post a comment below. I'll try to answer as soon as possible.


text:
Open Access
Table 9
KMO and Bartlett's test.
Kaiser–Meyer–Olkin measure of sampling adequacy | .524 | |
Bartlett's tet of sphericity | Approx. Chi-square | 58.038 |
Df | 36 | |
Sig. | .011 |
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text:
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Parker House Rolls
From the kitchen of One Perfect Bite...I was raised in an apartment that was in one of four buildings set around a central courtyard. The buildings each contained four duplex and two garden units. The complex had twelve courtyards that, when viewed from the air, resembled military housing, save for the extensive landscaping and oversized buildings that housed the large apartments. During the war years, a scant male presence created a community of women who, of necessity, learned to fend for themselves. They formed tightly knit groups and established support systems that I haven't seen the likes of since, and there were times that it was impossible to distinguish neighbors from family members. Holidays tended to be communal affairs. You've already met Hannie and Mrs. P. who lived in the duplexes to the left of ours. You have yet to meet Anita who lived across the hall in our half of the building. She was young, married, but childless, and was a mathematician working on a project at the University of Chicago. More interesting to me at the time was the Christmas tree she kept in her living room. It was put up the year her husband was sent to North Africa and remained there until his homecoming. The tree was by then an ornamented stick, but it stood watch like a sentinel connecting her to him while he was away. Anita was no match for the cooking of Hannie or Mrs. P., but she did her share of work for our parties which were held in the basement laundry room. It was an expanse of about 75 feet that separated the two garden apartments from each other. The basement was whitewashed and curtained and, under the eagle eye of Mrs. P., a deliberate effort was made to keep it immaculate. On special occasions, a wringer washer, shared by all the neighbors, was rolled away and wash tubs were boarded and draped to hold the evenings bounty. Fels Naptha and bleach competed with the wonderful aromas that wafted down the stairs to the basement. Anita usually brought her Parker House rolls. They were all the rage back then and considered to be quite stylish. The rolls were first served at the Parker House Hotel in downtown Boston in the mid 1870's. While the rolls were sold to other hotels and restaurants, the ingredients were kept secret until 1933 when the recipe was requested by President Roosevelt. Anita's rolls were delicious. They were light and fluffy and the aroma as they baked could drive you mad. While I suspect memory plays tricks with reason, I've never had rolls that tasted quite as good as hers. This recipe is the closest I've ever come to matching them. I hope you enjoy them.
Parker House Rolls...from the kitchen of One Perfect Bite
2-1/4 teaspoons active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar, divided use
1/2 cup warm water
1-1/2 cups scalded milk, cooled to room temperature
1 tablespoon salt
1/2 cup melted butter, divided use
6 cups all-purpose flour
1) Combine yeast, 1 tablespoon sugar and water in the bowl of an electric stand mixer. Let sit until frothy, about 5 minutes. Add milk, reserved 1 tablespoon sugar and 1/4 cup melted butter to yeast. Add 1-1/2 cups flour and beat at medium speed for 3 minutes. With mixer at low speed, add 4 cups of flour, a cup at a time, beating until a soft dough forms. Turn onto a lightly floured board and knead until smooth and elastic, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a greased bowl, cover with plastic wrap and let double in volume, about 1 hour.
2) Punch down dough and turn onto a lightly floured board. Let rest for 5 minutes. Roll dough into a sheet 1/2-inch thick. Cut into 3-inch rounds. Crease each round in the middle with the back of a knife. Brush exposed surfaces with reserved butter. Fold dough over and press lightly to seal. Place rolls 2-inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Cover lightly and allow to rise again until nearly double in volume,
about 35 minutes.
3) Meanwhile preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Bake until rolls are golden brown, about 12 to 15 minutes. Cool on racks. Yield: 36 rolls.
You might also enjoy these recipes:
Torpedo Rolls - One Perfect Bite
Kaiser Rolls - One Perfect Bite
Buttermilk Cluster with Blue Poppy Seeds - One Perfect Bite
This post is being linked to:
Wild Yeast - Yeast Spotting
63 comments :
- PranisKitchen said...
delicious rolls..
- May 6, 2010 at 12:43 AM
- momgateway said...
I've been searching for the softest rolls for a long time but many recipes I've tried never came close... maybe this time your recipe will be the perfect one..so excited to try it soon
- May 6, 2010 at 12:44 AM
- sweetlife said...
great rolls, I have been craving rolls lately, these look so temptimg..
sweetlife - May 6, 2010 at 12:45 AM
- Jaynie said...
There's nothing better than a good soft, buttery roll. These look great.
- May 6, 2010 at 1:09 AM
- Dianne said...
Oh, what a neat story...I will have to come back and read the previous entries about your growing up years! These rolls sound like my Mama's...I definitely want to try them.
- May 6, 2010 at 1:14 AM
- Sushma Mallya said...
SO beautiful rolls, too good mary..
- May 6, 2010 at 1:24 AM
- Alexandra said...
Oh, how the house must've smelled so beautifully.
What a memory. - May 6, 2010 at 1:24 AM
- MaryMoh said...
A lovely story. I'm trying to imagine the scene :D Your rolls look soft and delicious to me. I love freshly made bread...smells and taste awesome....mmmm
- May 6, 2010 at 1:39 AM
- DailyChef said...
love the story. Also love the rolls. I think they'll be the perfect complement to the pasta I plan on serving this weekend for guests. :)
- May 6, 2010 at 1:45 AM
- KathyB. said...
I have made Parker House rolls and they are the best when freshly home made. I especially love the story you write about this recipe...your writing makes all the recipes so much more precious Mary. Do you have any contact with any of your old neighbors now, so very many years later?
- May 6, 2010 at 2:19 AM
- Mary | Deep South Dish said...
A great old fashioned roll that I suspect will never fall out of favor! What I crave are the silliest thing - those wonderful yeast rolls my elementary school use to make. I swear I can smell them right now. My mom used to cook there so I'd go to school early with her and get to help out in the kitchen punching milk cartons and helping with other easy tasks. My early start to my love of cooking I suppose. But those rolls - fresh baked and buttered on top, my goodness. I wish I could duplicate those for sure.
- May 6, 2010 at 2:40 AM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Kathy, I kept in contact with all of them. They now have all passed, but they made my childhood a wonderful, almost joyful thing. I was very fortunate.
- May 6, 2010 at 2:57 AM
- Cherine said...
Gorgeous rolls, they're so cute & tempting!
- May 6, 2010 at 3:03 AM
- Diane said...
What an interesting story followed by great rolls. Diane
- May 6, 2010 at 3:03 AM
- Ana Powell said...
Thanks for sharing your life story with us.
Delicious rolls x - May 6, 2010 at 3:43 AM
- Sonia ~ Nasi Lemak Lover said...
Thanks for sharing your story, this roll look cute and delicious!
- May 6, 2010 at 4:22 AM
- Sonia ~ Nasi Lemak Lover said...
Thanks for sharing your story, this roll look cute and delicious!
- May 6, 2010 at 4:23 AM
- Allie and Pattie said...
Mary, this is what I make when I want to give my husband a special treat- he adores them. Such lovely memories. I must go back through your archives and catch up
xoxo Pattie - May 6, 2010 at 5:38 AM
- Donna-FFW said...
One of my most favorite memories is sunday mornings after church( yes I went to church) my mom would buy these rolls fresh from the bakery. They did have a dusting of powdered sugar or maybe it was flour on top? I loved them.. Thanks for bringing back the fond, very fond memory.
- May 6, 2010 at 6:48 AM
- giorno26 ¸¸.•*¨*•. said...
Leggere del passato altrui è sempre molto emozionante...
Questi panini assomigliano ai nostri piccoli panini fatti con il latte ed il burro.... Per il fine settimana voglio provare la tua ricetta per vedere se, come sapore, si avvicinano a quelli italiani, che noi in genere facciamo mangiare ai bimbi per la colazione del pomeriggio con della marmellata.
Buona serata Myriam - May 6, 2010 at 6:50 AM
- Martha said...
I love parker house rolls! My grandmother would sometimes make them -- she being the bread baker and roll maker in the family! And how I could eat them!
- May 6, 2010 at 8:13 AM
- Kim said...
What a wonderful story Mary. Thank you for sharing with us. I wish the power of community was as strong now as it once was. As it is, people are too busy hustling around now to pay attention to their neighbors.
Parker House Rolls are so tasty and yours look amazing, soft, and delicious! I make parker house rolls often, and would love to try yours. - May 6, 2010 at 8:16 AM
- Federica Simoni said...
mi piace moltissimo fare il pane...questi pani devono essere buonissimi! complimenti!!! un abbraccio!
- May 6, 2010 at 8:41 AM
- Foley said...
Finally! The first time I actually knew the origin of your post...Parker House Rolls.
You have such great memories of growing up..love reading about them!
The rolls look so good I think I can actually smell them... - May 6, 2010 at 8:49 AM
- Ann said...
OMG! it looks fantastic.
- May 6, 2010 at 8:52 AM
- Sweet Southern Prep said...
These look delicious, and melt-in-your-mouth yummy! Great post, I'd have to be pretty ambitious to recreate them, with scalding milk and such. I don't even know how you'd do that. :)
- May 6, 2010 at 9:04 AM
- San said...
Cute story behind these gorgeous rolls,enjoyed reading it.Bet it would have tasted divine.Lately iam not so excited about my breakfast being the same cereals or bread.Gonna try your rolls as an alternative.Thanks for the recipe aunt mary.Can i call u as aunt? I don't feel like calling u by name.Awaiting your next post eagerly.
- May 6, 2010 at 9:05 AM
- Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...
I swear I can smell these! Yum!
- May 6, 2010 at 9:20 AM
- Megan said...
It sounds like a wonderful way to grow up Mary and your storytelling made me feel as if I was right there. My grandma had an old wringer washing machine (yes, I too remember those old things from my childhood :))when I was young and that brought back fun memories. The rolls look delicious!
- May 6, 2010 at 9:29 AM
- From the Kitchen said...
Mary, I read, and enjoyed, every word of your posting. I saw it in black and white. On the small screen. Comfortable and inclusive. Is that complex still a part of Chicago's landscape? Oh yes, I can smell the aroma of those rolls wafting through windows and doors.
Bonnie - May 6, 2010 at 9:51 AM
- Claudia said...
You sent me back to my courtyard apartments in Queens - the camaraderie of neighbors - support of all. Then you capped it with these splendid rolls. What a lovely read and recipe.
- May 6, 2010 at 10:00 AM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Bonnie, the complex still exists. It is called Chatham Park Village.
- May 6, 2010 at 10:01 AM
- Valérie said...
What a wonderful story, and you tell it so well... Knowing the inspiration behind these rolls makes them all the more special.
- May 6, 2010 at 10:17 AM
- Valerie Harrison (bellini) said...
There was a bakery in my hometown that made Parker House rolls. On all special occasions we would order them (heaven forbid if they didn't show up) I'd love to make them myself.
- May 6, 2010 at 10:21 AM
- Joe Ambrosino said...
A lovely story, Mary. It brings back memories of my own childhood in a six family apartment house in Queens, New York in a time when neighborhoods were more like small towns and everyone knew one another.
I love fresh rolls. I will keep this recipe for our next family meal. - May 6, 2010 at 10:38 AM
- La Bella Cooks said...
I loved reading this post! Fresh rolls, such as this, are just divine when straight out of the oven. I am craving some now!
- May 6, 2010 at 11:04 AM
- Gloria Baker said...
Mary, these rolls look delicious! xxxx gloria
- May 6, 2010 at 11:06 AM
- Seattle DUI attorney said...
Very nice comfort rolls. Thanks a lot for baking and sharing.
- May 6, 2010 at 11:06 AM
- Lucie said...
Mary, I always love the stories you write about--few blogs give me as much pleasure to read as yours!
- May 6, 2010 at 11:14 AM
- Unknown said...
The rolls look so perfect and the snap is very beautiful...take care and have a nice day....
- May 6, 2010 at 11:23 AM
- Rachana said...
The rolls look so tempting...so soft and buttery :)
- May 6, 2010 at 12:06 PM
- Susi's Kochen und Backen said...
These rolls look like Milchbroetchen which I grew up with. Thank you for a recipe that will make me feel like home again!
- May 6, 2010 at 12:29 PM
- Cool Lassi(e) said...
Soft and perfect little rolls!
- May 6, 2010 at 1:43 PM
- Lindy said...
Thanks for the comment on my blog...sometimes I think I'm talking to myself. You have quite the food blog!
- May 6, 2010 at 1:52 PM
- Karen said...
My Mom was born and raised south of Boston and always loved Parker House Rolls. She always thought them to be quite elegant. Thanks for the nice story to go along with these!
- May 6, 2010 at 2:46 PM
- Katy said...
I've been looking at recipes for PHR and here you are with them all beautiful and golden making me mad with want. Mary, these look superb! Now I definitely have to make these soon.
- May 6, 2010 at 3:29 PM
- sweetjeanette said...
Mary! Great recipe. If you read my post on RealWomenEat.com, you'll know that I have a fear of yeast! LOL. Since facing it in last month's Cook-N-Critique with the cinnamon rolls, I just might have to try your Parker House Rolls!! Thank you!
Thanks again for visiting my (other) blog at www.realwomeneat.com - May 6, 2010 at 3:42 PM
- scrambledhenfruit said...
These are just like the rolls I grew up with and still make for Thanksgiving dinner. I love reading your stories, Mary. Thanks for reminiscing! Betty
- May 6, 2010 at 7:28 PM
- tasteofbeirut said...
Thanks for the recipe these rolls look so good and have such a nice sheen on them; but most of all, I enjoyed the story of that community of women you grew up surrounded with. How fun and so much more interesting than the conventional suburbian lifestyle, don't you think? - May 6, 2010 at 9:47 PM
- Biren said...
I make these rolls too but mine are not as perfect as these. Yours look absolutely wonderful! I can almost smell the aroma from your kitchen :)
- May 6, 2010 at 9:55 PM
- Chef Fresco said...
These look so perfectly made! Thanks for the recipe!
- May 6, 2010 at 10:58 PM
- teresa said...
oh those look so delicious!
- May 6, 2010 at 11:02 PM
- MyKitchenInHalfCups said...
Your apt family sounds like the one I was in in St Louis in the 70's. Still have a friend from the group.
Parker House Rolls were always my favorites of all my Dad's bakings. - May 7, 2010 at 7:24 AM
- Sam Hoffer / My Carolina Kitchen said...
Mary, I really enjoyed your story about war and women. Women are so incredibly strong.
I haven' had a good Parker House roll in years. I'll be giving this recipe a try.
Sam - May 7, 2010 at 8:17 AM
- Nisha said...
What a beautiful story and rolls looks delicious .
- May 7, 2010 at 9:24 AM
- My Little Space said...
My parents still staying at the 3 storey flat and all the neighbours seems so nice and helpful.I grew up there! Unlike the big city lives! No one speak to no one!
Regards, Kristy - May 7, 2010 at 9:31 AM
- Arlette said...
These look delicious...
I have a weakness to bread recipes.. I have to admit..
Thanks for sharing the Chocolate Babaka Bread.. I made it last week for the show and it was heavenly.
posted some photos . - May 7, 2010 at 11:29 AM
- Rambling Tart said...
Oh, I LOVE this story, Mary! :-) I smiled the whole way through. :-) And I can almost smell these gorgeous rolls. :-)
- May 7, 2010 at 12:01 PM
- Mimi said...
Great post. I felt like I was reading a novel.
- May 7, 2010 at 1:10 PM
- Mary Bergfeld said...
Mimi, I was unable to connect to your blog. I'm so glad you enjoyed the post. I hope you'll visit with us more often. I hope you are having a wonderful day. Blessings...Mary
- May 7, 2010 at 1:33 PM
- Les said...
My great-grandmother used to make Parker House rolls for every holiday gathering. My brothers and I could easily eat half a dozen! I finally got a recipe from my mom, but they never tasted quite the same as my great-grandmother's. I'm thrilled to see your recipe and will have to give them a try.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm enjoying yours! - May 8, 2010 at 9:50 PM
- Simply Mel {Reverie} said...
These rolls bring back such fond memories of my childhood ~ eating Southern Dinners buffet style with my grandparents at the local diners. Now where I live, Cavallo Point (a Michelin rated restaurant) serves them ~ fabulous!
- May 10, 2010 at 12:03 AM
- Facilities Management Melbourne said...
Lovely story. Also those pieces so cute. Can't stop thinking them
- May 12, 2010 at 4:34 AM


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text:
I love bacon. I've rhapsodized about it on TV, had it sent to me in the mail, even written a poem about it. I eat it almost every day. But bacon as a trend is a monster that won't die, and I can't understand why.
The proximate cause of my disbelief, an incredulity so intense that I could feel my scalp tingle, was the announcement of United States of Bacon, a new TV series premiering Dec. 30 on the lesser known cable channel that is Destination America (an introductory episode ran in July on the Discovery channel). As far as I can tell from the teaser, the show is so grossly formulaic that it almost seems like a parody: a portly, spiky-haired host overemotes into the camera about "the orgasmic sense of bacon," sings silly bacon songs, and otherwise checks off every trope of oaf-pandering, lowest-common-denominator programming you can think of. I am embarrassed to say that I am looking forward to it.
(MORE: Ozersky: Are These End Times for Meat?)
I mention how dumb the show looks not because I have anything against it personally — hell, I've been on some pretty terrible food shows in my time, and, as Don Corleone says, "It makes no difference to me how a man makes his living." But for years now, bacon has been a free pass, a watchword, the last refuge of a bore. I made one of my most conspicuously wrong pronouncements in 2007 when, on New York's Grub Street blog, I confidently announced that bacon had "jumped the shark." (This was so long ago that the very term I used to describe bacon's tiredness has itself passed into obscurity.) It seemed to me that bacon's countercultural moxie — the symbolic middle finger it gave to haute cuisine and healthy eating — was played out, as hollow a gesture as a "Question Authority" bumper sticker.
And yet bacon just kept coming — bacon wallets, bacon jewelry, bacon bandages, a relaunched bacon-of-the-month club. Any restaurant could spike sales by adding bacon to a dish; any fast-food chain could count on a Pavlovian response to the word, as when Burger King recently trotted out the pork product as a sundae topping. There are now multiple stores on the Web that specialize in bacon paraphernalia. "Bacon mania" even has its own, not unscholarly Wikipedia entry, for the love of Mike!
I'm not going to tell you that I know the secret of bacon's talismanic power. Clearly, I don't since I keep underestimating it. But I have a few suspicions. One has to do with taste, one has to do with coolness, and one has to do with manhood.
(MORE: Ozersky: A Meat Lover Says Yes to Meatless Mondays)
Bacon does have a distinct, wonderful taste, as everyone knows. But you can't really taste bacon when it's inside of a double cheeseburger or wrapped lattice-like around a pound of sausage. For my money, you can't even really taste it when it's smoked with applewood, which is the bacon equivalent of near beer. But what you can taste is fat. Americans think they don't like eating fat straight up; they cut the edges off pork chops, use "buttery spreads" instead of butter and go to restaurants that give you bad olive oil with your bread. Bacon is about the only form of straight fat eating that exists within the American mainstream. And fat is the active ingredient in everything good in any meat you can name. The lean muscle is just along for the ride. In bacon, as in everything else, the fat is the meat, and the meat is the vegetable.
Bacon isn't cool, any more than, say, Nicki Minaj is cool. But it's cooler than hamburgers, chicken and pizza, in the exact same way that Minaj is cooler than Katy Perry or Taylor Swift. Now this may be a low bar, but a low bar is exactly what you need if you want tens of millions of people to jump over it. While I doubt that anybody really considers bacon idiosyncratic or transgressive in any way, it has the magic quality of being just different enough, just odd enough, to qualify its proponents as not absolutely mainstream. In this, it is like almost every product that has enjoyed mainstream success.
(MORE: So About That 'Unavoidable Bacon Shortage'? You Can Stop Freaking Out Now)
There was much blowback from the Dodge Charger commercial some years back that proclaimed, in almost homicidal tones, that men had been put upon too long and deserved to have, at the very least, a hypermasculine muscle car as a consolation prize: "man's last stand." Well, times haven't gotten any easier for men, or so it seems to that portion of the male population that stoops to "white male victimhood." (I learned this phrase on Jezebel, the lady blog I read every day to find out what the other half is thinking.) The heyday of white guys may be far from over, as the election supposedly indicates, but that only makes white guys more incensed, in states both red and blue. Among Americans who don't want to come off like mullet-wearing goons, bacon is an acceptable substitute for less innocuous totems of proud manhood. Yes, it's weak, and yes, a lot of women are into bacon too, but I smell something besides cured meat and smoke coming from bacon; I smell the sweet stench of identity politics.
I may be wrong about all this — I have been before. Is bacon a trend, a state of mind, a sign of the times or some weird kind of cultural lingua franca? I can't say. But for better or for worse, I think we really have come to live in the "United States of Bacon."


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