text:
Thursday, February 26, 2009
When Common Sense Isn't
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Nice to see that they understood that there was something important about the 12 bit, though. Do you suppose the wreckerator was putting that extra layer of icing on and wondering what the big deal was about the number 12, anyway?
Thank goodness that all fit, Diane V.; I don't know WHAT the decorator could have done to shorten the inscription. Do you?
(And fyi: Freymoto is a clever smash-up of the happy couple's last names. Nifty idea, no?)
107 comments | Post a Comment
- Unknown said...
Wow- and that chocolate cake could havebeen so pretty. LOL
- February 26, 2009 at 9:30 AM
that was all things amazing. I <3 it. hahaha
- February 26, 2009 at 9:32 AM
- Alisa Knits! said...
Sometimes I feel really bad for the wreckerators, who are very clearly not native speakers of English for the most part.
And then I want to smack the employer for hiring someone who is so very obviously ill-suited to their job. - February 26, 2009 at 9:34 AM
- thennelly said...
These are my favorite types of wrecks! Thanks!!!
- February 26, 2009 at 9:35 AM
- Kara said...
Part of me thinks that if I got a cake like this I would be way too amused to complain.
- February 26, 2009 at 9:37 AM
- Viewtiful_Justin said...
Wow. I am stunned. Can people seriously look at the order and think that anyone in their right mind would want THAT on a cake?
I guess you stop judging what people want with a cake when a 12 year old girl has a playboy cake.
*shakes head* - February 26, 2009 at 9:37 AM
- TheDitzyQueen said...
What a cute cake it is!
the purple curly-q's... the smooth chocolate icing...
oh! those directions i gave to the baker?
What a great conversation piece! It's perfect!
hahah. xD - February 26, 2009 at 9:40 AM
It can't be!
Plugging ears, squinching eyes closed and shaking head. And singing lalalala.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com) - February 26, 2009 at 9:43 AM
- Cheryl said...
Ha! Hey, my last name is a mashup of my husband's and my last names, too!
- February 26, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Doublebanker said...
What is the big deal with 12...I don't remember anything too exciting!
Don't forget to show cakewrecks some click appreciation like I have for their awesome content!!
Check out my daily gif blog when ya have a chance.
DB - February 26, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Reformed Supermom said...
OMG....Big tip if it's there before 12?
Um, this wouldn't be a bar mitzvah cake, would it? - February 26, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Tracy O said...
Oh, dear lord, the non-English speaking wreckerator strikes again (trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for this) - at least the writing is nice? These mistakes had me "decorating" my computer screen with diet coke... Thanks, Jen, I needed that today!!! :)
WV: inollin - If we use a "small" tip, we can get inollin more words.
Tracy O - February 26, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Mrs. Cupcake said...
How can it be possible that someone who can pipe so beautifully can be so stupid????
- February 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- Miranda said...
No words. All I can do is shake my head and wonder how dumb do you have to be?
- February 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- Milu said...
I live for the literal lols.
- February 26, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- Cottagecheap said...
Even without the stupid inscription,do you think Jason would love that lone 'pretty' flower? WTH?
- February 26, 2009 at 9:54 AM
Aw, the first one would have been beautiful without the last part.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:02 AM
What scares me is that these wreckorators are allowed to vote, drive, and reproduce.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:05 AM
- Trevor said...
that one drop flower on Jayson's cake looks so lonely! What's up with that? It's kind of like someone knew how to make a nice ganache, but was in the middle of taking Wilton I.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:06 AM
I'm just surprised they didn't USE a big tip...
WF- mocing 1) You're mocing me...
2) (alternate pronunciation) what do cows put on their cake? Mocing - February 26, 2009 at 10:08 AM
- Unknown said...
(raising eyebrow in suspicion)
If WHAT is there before 12?? LOL
The second one had me laughing so hard I had to look at them both again.
~Amy B. - February 26, 2009 at 10:11 AM
- Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...
absolutely amazing. And not in a good way.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:13 AM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
Dang it! My laughter sent me into yet ANOTHER coughing fit!! hack, hack, wheeze...but so worth it.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:14 AM
These are hands-down my favorite wrecks! Thanks for the morning laughs!
- February 26, 2009 at 10:15 AM
- Ace said...
Ha! And I was upset when I picked up a cake before that said "Happy 3th Birthday"!
You make me laugh every time! - February 26, 2009 at 10:17 AM
I'm thinking the 'big tip' is in regards to the icing tip that was supposed to be at the bakery before 12.
Heh. - February 26, 2009 at 10:19 AM
- Mamalaina said...
Well, I guess you really can't have it all...beautiful cake, amazing penmanship...and a brain!
I do have to say, I'm a little confused about the purple swirly writting and the flower for "Jason" but uh...I'll just leave that one alone... - February 26, 2009 at 10:20 AM
- Mella said...
But the writing on the first cake looks very pretty. That's something !
- February 26, 2009 at 10:23 AM
- Eternal Lizdom said...
These are som eof my FAVORITE kinds of Wrecks!! True classics!
- February 26, 2009 at 10:24 AM
- ~Anne said...
Who says these are non-English speakers? There are plenty of American born ridiculously literal folks out there!
wv: iroater - seeing these sorts of things just makes me iroater and iroater. - February 26, 2009 at 10:34 AM
- February 26, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
How could you really think someone wanted that on a cake? It's just amazing.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- Kelli W said...
I feel so sorry for Jason!! What guy wants a cake with purple writing and flowers!
- February 26, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- Cathy Santarsiero, "The Christmas Corgi" said...
You are killing me. At least give a fair warning, I choked on my coffee I laughed so hard when I saw this.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:46 AM
The 2nd cake is clogged up that it makes my head hurt.
Jason's cake looks yummy. - February 26, 2009 at 10:49 AM
- ilovebabyquilts said...
I <3 these cakes. That chocolate one really would have been pretty, but instead the wreckerator drove it into a wall - bam! A wreck.
- February 26, 2009 at 11:02 AM
I feel sorry for Jason for getting such a girly cake. And that lettering is so perfect!
I, too, am beginning to think people are ordering these 'mistakes' on purpose.
Cake Wrecks is creating monsters.... - February 26, 2009 at 11:09 AM
- GeekByMarriage said...
These are the kind of cakes that get me to giggling. I can't...stop...must...breathe!
- February 26, 2009 at 11:09 AM
That first one is just too funny - something about that fact that it actually would have looked rather pretty.
- February 26, 2009 at 11:19 AM
You know, I'm thinking the person who ordered the first cake was telling the bakery that they'd give them a big tip if the cake was done before 12.
Maybe? - February 26, 2009 at 11:44 AM
- James Bong said...
If my sweetie and I mashed up our last names, it would have been "Bongland". As funny as it would have been, the DEA surveillance probably would have gotten old quickly! - February 26, 2009 at 11:45 AM
- Steph said...
This makes me particularly sad because the text in the first one is so beautiful!!!
- February 26, 2009 at 11:58 AM
- Katy said...
aw, poor Jason...
And it even looks like they've made a correction in the inscription! - February 26, 2009 at 12:01 PM
- Schmei said...
Classic cake wrecks!
And I have to argue against those who say these folks are "clearly not native English speakers"... I'd bet $5 that they all grew up speaking some version of English.
WV: triness. It doesn't matter if you can read or spell, what counts is your level of triness. - February 26, 2009 at 12:11 PM
Does that first cake say its'? I can barely stand it when people use it's in place of the possessive! It had some quality cake potential though.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:17 PM
My husband and I thought about doing a last name mash-up. His last name is Scott and mine rhymes with Bunkly. So the only thing we could come up with was... Scunkly.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:18 PM
- joyce said...
Classic. Amazing.
Maybe they left the big tip part on the cake to remind the receiver they promised !!
And I found a BBC story online about funny names. I am now armed and ready to pad the sign up lists:
Tim Burr, Carrie Oakey, Joe King, Justin Case, Barb Dwyer, Stan Still, Terry Bull, Anna Sasin, Doug Hole, Hazel Nutt, Rose Bush, Dr. Les Plack, Daisy Picking, Sue Mee, Mary Lee, and Penny Bunn
There really was a rich lady in Houston named Ima Hogg. - February 26, 2009 at 12:38 PM
- Unknown said...
I just don't understand it. Are people really that dumb? I'm blogging about this! Hope that's okay.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:39 PM
I am beginning to think that many of the wreckarators do not speak English. That is the only way I can imagine some of these mistakes is that they had no idea what they said.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:43 PM
- Bibi said...
Oh Jason, oh Freymoto! It's easy to see your friends truly heart you, by giving you such pretty cakes before 12.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:44 PM
- Stacy B. said...
I'm also wondering why Jason has a cake with a flower and purple icing.
- February 26, 2009 at 12:58 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, but that top cake ("big tip") is for a kid named Jason?
with purple icing... and a flower? - February 26, 2009 at 1:04 PM
I'm guessing they didn't get a tip afterall. XD!
ah! I <3 reading these kind of wrecks! It's amazing how people just don't have ANY common sense! - February 26, 2009 at 1:24 PM
You can have two choices of the following: Fast. Pretty. Cheap. It's design law.
- February 26, 2009 at 1:55 PM
- Unknown said...
I still find it so hard to understand how decorators can be so stupid. I decorated for several years and if someone put that on a piece of paper my brain would know what to do with it. And if I had ANY question the person's phone number is always on the order form. Sheesh! I'm just flabbergasted!
- February 26, 2009 at 2:10 PM
- Aviatrix said...
This is my favourite kind of wreck, but my appreciation of them is dampened lately because I just can't believe that anyone would put that on a cake.
I envision instead a little horde of Wreckporters ordering cakes as ambiguously as possible and when asked for clarification claiming that yes thay DO want it on the cake, "It's an in-joke."
The worst I've seen is a t-shirt for a "D + D" tournament and it turned out that they printed exactly what was on the form. The person who did the ordering didn't know how to draw an ampersand and thought the t-shirt printers would magically know to convert her plus to one. Now I know we're lucky the t-shirt didn't say "instead of plus put an ampersand" at the bottom. - February 26, 2009 at 2:19 PM
that would of been the best cake ever made. Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com
- February 26, 2009 at 2:29 PM
THESE are the kinds of wreck that ONLY a native English speaker -- a very, VERY, VERRRRRY dim one -- can come up with. A non-native speaker would come up to clarify what the order meant.
this is really depressing. a part of our taxes are going towards creating these half-literate nitwits who think they know it all (and people still blame immigrants - wow!!)
...shaking head at wrecks, and at many of the comments... - February 26, 2009 at 2:50 PM
- Scritzy said...
Thank you. I needed that laugh today!
Word verification: dessing. Maybe the decorator thought dessing up the cake with a purple flower would help. - February 26, 2009 at 3:23 PM
- peewee said...
ummm, I also love that it seems to be upside down too!
- February 26, 2009 at 3:31 PM
- *~*Lis*~* said...
I'll say it again - these people DRIVE themselves to work!!!
- February 26, 2009 at 4:03 PM
@James Bong - Cheer up, if we'd done the clever mashup thing we would have been Johnson Sand.
Don't guys get afflicted with that after hanging about at the beach? - February 26, 2009 at 4:13 PM
wow -- so my dad's 60th birthday is coming up and i'm PETRIFIED to order a cake... perhaps it should just say
Happy Birthday... and then we'll buy those tacky candles that say 60 so there's no scary wrecks made... you've scared me from ordering cake :) - February 26, 2009 at 4:18 PM
- Katherine said...
I love it! Thanks for my smiles today!
- February 26, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Unfortunately, there are *many* "concrete" thinkers out there who will follow directions to a "T"! :P
- February 26, 2009 at 4:51 PM
Oh, wow, that was fantastic.
I love it!
But heart in the place of word love.
And I immensely enjoy the outlining of the number 12. It makes it look like it's supposed to be read with more intensity than the rest of the sentence.
Like: "Big tip if it gets there before TWELVE!" - February 26, 2009 at 4:52 PM
- Jayunderscorezero said...
This is definitely my favourite kind of wreck. Ugly cakes are just ugly, but ones like this - and like the "one that started it all" - just reek of a whole other level of idiocy altogether. So, so funny.
- February 26, 2009 at 5:16 PM
- afterthoughtcomposer said...
hahaha...i am reading these at the office and that "put heart in place of word love" cake gave me away...I laughed out loud.
*woops* :) - February 26, 2009 at 5:36 PM
it took me a while to understand the first cake. I thought it was a virginity joke with the flower being there and everything! I FINALLY got it after about ten minutes. Ugh.
- February 26, 2009 at 5:44 PM
- Grumpy said...
I'm pretty jaded and, in general, nothing really surprises me, especially examples of human stupidity. However, these literal cake inscriptions always make my jaw drop. I love it when you post them -- in a gawking at a car wreck kind of way -- but OMG are there some stupid people out there.
- February 26, 2009 at 6:04 PM
I LOVE (replace with heart) Cake Wrecks!
How do the wreckerators make it thru life on a day to day basis?? Are they the ones who try to blow dry their hair in the tub? or iron clothes on their bodies?
Are bakeries hiring illegals who do not read english? - February 26, 2009 at 6:12 PM
- Morgan said...
It's called a portmanteau, Jen.
- February 26, 2009 at 7:42 PM
- Nat said...
I don't care what it says, just let me at that chocolate cake! Oh yeah!
- February 26, 2009 at 8:03 PM
- falcon said...
The chocolate cake would have been kind of pretty too... I think these people ddeeefffinetly can't speak english.
- February 26, 2009 at 8:14 PM
- CollyWolly said...
what 12 year old person named JASON (I am assuming this is a male) likes a purple birhtday cake, with flowers?
- February 26, 2009 at 8:45 PM
- Margaret said...
Well... I'm sure there could be some boys called Jason who would like purple and flowers...
Aaaaand... it really could be a girl anyway!
http://www.babynameshub.com/gendercompare.cfm?Name=jason&Submit=Go! - February 26, 2009 at 9:16 PM
- Margaret said...
Um, yeah, meant to add... if the purple, flowers and name are all good, as others have mentioned, it's a shame that such a beautiful cake was spoiled by the literal mistake (which surely can't have been deliberate).
And the <3 one... oh dear... - February 26, 2009 at 9:21 PM
- Mad Izatie said...
this is whyt you should write down exactly what you want.
- February 26, 2009 at 10:32 PM
- Kerry said...
Well, this is funny, really it is!! But the Wreckerators just write what is on that little piece of paper that they are told to copy, verbatim. The real dummies, of course, are the people who order the cakes...THEY are the ones who presumably are supposed to speak/write understandable English. If I were a Wreckerator, at minimum wage, I would do the same thing. And so would you.
- February 26, 2009 at 11:26 PM
I'm pretty sure that lots of non-native speakers of English can spell "definitely", not "definetly" :)
- February 26, 2009 at 11:27 PM
- fuzzandfuzzlet said...
lol, omgosh the chocolate cake has to be on the top ten list. That is too funny.
- February 27, 2009 at 1:14 AM
thats a classic, put heat in place of word love! I must admit, I was guilty of the same thing once crazily writing card messages for flowers on valentines day, I wrote lol instead of lots of love, luckily we caught it berfore it went out!
I always look forward to your latest posts, it makes a crappy day great. - February 27, 2009 at 1:20 AM
I LOVE the literal lols! You know, it took me about 5 minutes before I worked out what the writing said on BOTH cakes...the writings were so...swirly. Unless "Jason" was a girl, I'd feel really bad for the kid for that pretty flower and PURPLE lettering... (you know what they say about purple, eh? lol) As for the second one, the decorator obviously decided they'd try to fit everything in O_o
The first cake looks really nice from a distance, until you read the inscription. When I first read it, I suspected that the buyer meant they'd give the baker/decorator a big tip if delivered by 12pm/am... you know, sort of an incentive to get it in early or on time? - February 27, 2009 at 4:32 AM
Thank you to Vinca Leaf Quilts. I totally couldn't figure out what the first cake said!
- February 27, 2009 at 8:47 AM
Totally unrelated, but just got an e-mail with these fantastic cakes. Enjoy!!
http://www.tom-phillips.info/images.a/russian.cake.contest.htm - February 27, 2009 at 9:46 AM
Ahhh, I love these - good old fashion wrecks. The candles adding up to thirteen are too funny. Although a thirteen-year-old would know what a wreck the cake is, so that's too bad. At least when the cakes are for little kids, only the parents are disappointed.
- February 27, 2009 at 11:02 AM
- jackie31337 said...
When I see these beautiful-but-literal cakes, I can't help thinking what kind of wrecks I would have made if I'd had to write inscriptions on cakes in Finnish before I really spoke the language well. I suspect I would have made cakes very similar to these... except mine would not have been as beautifully decorated.
- February 27, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Thank you Margaret for pointing out that *some* 12-years-old boys named Jason might actually like the purple flower. It's a refreshing change from the "Happy Birthday with Violent Superhero" macho crap that so many parents seem to think is the ONLY acceptable boy cake. -Robin the Catlady
- February 27, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Wow, how ridiculous. Haven't you ever thought that professional cake decorators are 'wrecking' cakes because customers can't follow directions?
You are supposed to write VERBATIM what you want on the cake. The decorators aren't stupid - they're actually the ones with the sense of humor. - February 27, 2009 at 1:12 PM
- Jenene said...
I just don't understand how this happens! I think Alisa Knits must be right about them not speaking English very well. How else could these cakes happen?
- February 27, 2009 at 4:06 PM
Cakes aside (and these are hilarious and tremendously sad), it disturbs me that so many comments have indicated surprise or disbelief that a cake with purple writing and a purple flower could be for a guy. First off, I would suggest that you all take a look at what male teens are wearing these days. (I know, I teach high school.) Pink is no longer verboten, sneakers come in all colors of the rainbow, etc. And hasn't society gotten to a point where colors don't indicate anything? As a girl, I always wanted a blue birthday cake when I was a kid, but way back then it was considered unusual. We're in the 21st century, folks; purple is far from feminine. And does that mean there is only one acceptable color for a guy's cake--blue? Is red OK? Green? What about orange? What makes a color a masculine color anyway?
WV--nonolesa: what I heard when I asked for a blue birthday cake as a little girl. (My name is Lisa!) - February 27, 2009 at 4:30 PM
People, we have no idea how old 'Jason' is - stop insisting (s)he's 12. The '12' refers to time the customer wanted the cake delivered, not the age of the recipient.
Apparently the wreckerators aren't the only ones who can't read. - February 27, 2009 at 5:46 PM
I can't believe this cake is real. I worked at a bakery. Several people are involved in the cake-making process. First, there is the person writing the cake order. Second, the cake decorator looks at the order to make sure nothing is misspelled or confusing to them. Third, the same cake decorator (or a different one) puts the icing on. Finally, all the envious/bored clerks look at their cakes.
- February 27, 2009 at 5:50 PM
- Alice said...
I would be really, really entertained if they delivered it on time and still got their tip.
- February 28, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Apparently it's not OK for a guy to have purple frosting on a cake? what is wrong with you people???
- February 28, 2009 at 11:38 PM
When I saw this I thought it was some parents wishing their soon-to-die kid an early birthday...
- March 1, 2009 at 4:47 AM
- Valerie Pilgreen said...
My husband said for more info on where they find these people go to darwinawards dot com.
- March 1, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Has anybody offered a serious explanation for how these kinds of mistakes are even possible? If so, I'd love to read it.
- March 1, 2009 at 1:42 PM
THAT is funny.
- March 2, 2009 at 1:19 AM
- Infrared Goggles said...
I <3 this blog, and this post is the absolute best! I've passed it along... As a family tradition, I make ridiculous cakes ala the groom's cake in Steel Magnolias--remember the bloody armadillo--? My son had a Mike Mulligan themed 3rd birthday in which his father made a steam shovel platform with working shovel (pulley and string) in our woodshop, for which I created a custom cake with appropriately dirty icing (Oreo crumbles). Voila, Marianne! The trend seems to be that the more eye rolls I get from the other moms, the more my son likes the cake. Really, this is now one of my favorite blogs, thank you.
- March 2, 2009 at 9:40 AM
- Stephanie said...
these ones are my favorite.
- March 2, 2009 at 12:24 PM
Whenever cakes like these are featured I assume they're phone orders-- and the person taking the order isn't paying much attention and/or is waaaay too literal. It just seems like lost translation between the verbal and the visual. For that reason alone they are my very favorite wrecks.
Also, it's really amusing that the number of comments that assert the wreckers must be non-native english speakers are equal to the number of comments where the poster doesn't understand the wreck or why it's funny. (Jason is not turning 12, people.) - March 3, 2009 at 5:43 PM
Too Funny! I wish I still had a picture of the birthday cake my then-fiance ordered for my 19th birthday. He wanted "Happy Birthday Anna" in red. Instead, Dairy Queen wrote "Happy Birthday Red" on it, and then to rectify the situation (instead of comping it or making a new one) they poured dip-cone chocolate all over the "red". It was downright sexy.
- March 5, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Yeeaaahhh, i'm not sure what the big hubbub is about a male having a cake with purple frosting and–gasp!–a flower drawn on it. You'd think we should have to put a wrench or a tractor on every cake that's not for a girl. Let me guess: you all dressed your girl babies in pink and the boys in blue, right? As someone who likes cake, period, let me tell you something: it doesn't really matter what the cake looked like after it's been eaten and enjoyed.
and p.s.) in regards to someone's comment "are they hiring illegals at bakeries these days?": yes, probably, but at the one i worked at, we hired LEGALS as well, who sometimes spoke English as a second language. Don't let it frighten you too much, i'm sure you'll never have to speak a foreign language if you really don't want to.
Ignorant people calling other people ignorant? Pot, kettle, black.
It's just cake, folks. - April 26, 2009 at 8:46 PM
- Unknown said...
Ooh! I think the couple were Anime fans, because anime fans always come up with mashups of their favorite pairing's names so that other lolsp33k friends can understand them. Ex: SakuNaru (sakura+naruto), Amuto (Amu+Ikuto), etc...
- June 29, 2009 at 2:16 PM
- Cupcakes Lady said...
No words to describe this. Waw. xx
- October 13, 2010 at 9:49 AM
- Unknown said...
Duh...they used THE BIG TIP for the 12!
- November 18, 2010 at 8:21 PM
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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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text:
These were such a simple side dish & a great use for cauliflower (it seems we always end up roasting it). The cheese added a really nice depth of flavor & the cayenne just gave that bit of heat at the back of the throat.
Cheesy Cauliflower Pancakes
1 head cauliflower
2 large eggs
1/2 c cheddar cheese, grated
1/2 c panko
1/2 t cayenne pepper (more of less to taste)
olive oil
Cut cauliflower into florets & cook in boiling water until tender about 10 minutes. Drain. Mash the cauliflower while still warm. Stir cheese, eggs, panko, cayenne & salt to taste.
Coat the bottom of a griddle or skillet with olive oil over medium-high heat. Form the cauliflower mixture into patties about 3 inches across. Cook until golden brown & set, about 3 minutes per side. Keep each batch warm in the oven while you cook the rest.
Makes 8 pancakes
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New Jersey manufacturers slammed by Hurricane Sandy are finding relief from the nonprofit New Jersey Manufacturing Extension Program, which is connecting companies with critical resources — from roofers to electrical engineers — who can bring heavy machinery back online.
John W. Kennedy, NJMEP chief operating officer, said e-mails initially went out to 6,900 New Jersey manufacturers, and so far, NJMEP has worked directly with about 500 of them.
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Carlo Petrini's Address to the EU Parliament During the CAP 2020 Reform Conference
02 Oct 2012
Dear Euro-MP friends,
I address you as friends insofar as we modern men and women have evolved new and unforeseen forms of decorum, losing others that may have been more apt. One such is the use of important words. I call you friends so as not to call you brothers and sisters, for fear that these two words, beautiful as they are, might hurt feelings. But the truth is that this is what we all are, we in here and every other living being outside. Yes, brothers and sisters, all children of the same Mother Earth.
Mother Earth takes care of us in every way possible, providing us with food, air, water, fibres and inorganic material to build our houses and our roads. And we must take care of her as best we can, thoughtfully, whatever our occupation or our economic means.
One of the most important and effective ways we have for looking after our Mother Earth is to look after our food. This is why everyone who works in agriculture, in food production, in processing and in policy and legislation does a wonderful job. Because they have the opportunity to grant our Mother Earth her due and help keep her strong, beautiful and healthy.
This is what the Common Agricultural Policy should be for. For reminding us that a united Europe cannot be created simply with a single currency, the removal of customs barriers or the institution of a bank. For reminding us that, beyond national borders and irrespective of the existence of the European Union itself, we all live on the same piece of land, with rivers that run down from the mountains to the sea —which, in turn, brings different bits of Europe into contact with one other — without asking who governs and what languages are spoken in the lands they flow through. We have looked for European identity in many different sectors: from religion to art and inevitably, of course, in the market. Yet it has never occurred to us that part of our European identity lies in the way in which we cultivate the land and produce and cook and consume quality food. For too long agriculture has been seen as the business of the market and not of the identity, culture, physical and psychological wellbeing and environmental and social quality of Europeans.
This is why I am here today, to speak on behalf of so-called civil society— read Europeans — with regard to the new Common Agricultural Policy. Because we men and women of Europe, old people, young people and children, farmers, white-collars, students, housewives, teachers, blue-collars, miners, manufacturers, bankers, the homeless, new-born babies, invalids and athletes share one thing in common that makes us all part of this crucial moment of reflection on the CAP. We all eat food.
Just as you politicians do.
We realize therefore that discussing the CAP and doing everything possible to make it a tool that takes care of the planet is the most important thing we can do together. Here, therefore, is a list of the things we Europeans really care about.
1. We care about the future. This is why we would like the new CAP to become a tool for facilitating the lives of the many young people who, finally, after decades of moving away from agriculture, are again being won over by the wonderful farming profession. In an ageing Europe, for too long concerned more with industrializing itself than with safeguarding its resources, young farmers are a treasure. As such, they must be not only protected, but also helped to grow. Here we have young people full of enthusiasm, turning more and more to work in the fields, not instead of studying but after studying, taking with them extraordinary skills that European agriculture desperately needs. Yet they find themselves up against obstacles of every kind, from access to credit to red tape, not to mention the market. Only the most stubborn, and the ones with family money behind them, manage to stay afloat. Being a farmer in the 21st century ought to be a rewarding profession — simple, respectable and profitable. And in these crisis years, someone somewhere needs to realize that, insofar as we'll always need food, the only sector that cannot disappear is agriculture. No, let me correct myself! It's not true that no one has realized this. Land-grabbing multinationals, investors who speculate on the price of food — they certainly don't need our advice. No, maybe it's the people involved in quality food, soil protection, water salubrity and consumer health who fail to see that, without farmers passionately and earnestly committed to sustainability, hence economically sound, we will never achieve these objectives.
2. We care about the planet. So we see sustainability as the means and the end of every action we take. Sustainability means durability over time for everyone. It means hearing, every time we encounter an unsustainable project or product, our Mother Earth asking us what a furious Cicero asked Catiline, when the latter dared turn up at the Senate on the very morning his accomplices had tried to kill the man himself: "When, O Catiline, do you mean to cease abusing our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours?" We are asking for sustainability to become the founding value of the CAP, for it to be clear that agriculture is not about selling goods but about producing sufficient amounts of healthy, nutritious food for everyone, without waste. If sustainability becomes the value of the CAP, then the furious debate over subsidies will cease. The CAP's available resources might be adequate, but it is necessary for them to support sustainable agriculture and those forms of food production that take care of the planet, not ones that exploit it without giving anything back in exchange, producing poor quality food that damages our Mother Earth, our culture and our future. And also damages us economically by undermining the beauty of our landscapes and eroding our health.
3. We care about biodiversity, because it is only in biodiversity that our Mother Earth can find strength, health and beauty. Uniformity, monocultures, intensive production and industrial agriculture based on patented seeds create fragility and serve the interests of a few to the detriment of all. We are asking the new CAP to nourish biodiversity by every means possible, first and foremost with a strong, profound, revolutionary reflection on traditional seeds and their right to be on the market with rules of their own and their own characteristics, without having to adapt to rules created for uniform seeds and devised for food for selling as opposed to food for eating. Traditional seeds, which renew themselves every year and have fed us and satisfied us for thousands of years, should not have owners and should not be damaged by people who only want to understand their secrets to gain private profit.
4. We care about knowledge, about all the wisdom and skills that agriculture needs. The ones that people have handed down to each other over the centuries and the ones researchers might discover tomorrow. We believe that each needs the other and that both should be protected and supported, always bearing in mind the sustainability of agricultural practices, meaning care for our common mother. For this reason we are asking for funding for research and innovation aimed at finding eco-compatible solutions to the problems of food production, processing and distribution. And we are also asking for funding for the protection of traditional skills, so that they can increasingly become a common heritage for generations of farmers and researchers.
5. We care about common sense. For this reason, we are asking for a reflection on animal products, on the damage already done by a diet (hence agricultural production) thoughtlessly biased in favor of animal protein. Damage to our health, damage to natural resources, but also damage in terms of animal welfare. We are asking for products of animal origin, the ones that require the most productive operations, to be regulated to increase transparency, traceability and respect for the right of citizens to information about how the food they buy has been produced. We are asking for the barycentre of funding to shift from animal products to plant products and, in the context of animal products, from industrial production to sustainable production. We are asking for common sense to prevail and for you to remember that food should be about living, not dying, about healing, not falling ill, about protecting nature, not harming it, about building a future, not plundering the present.
Dear Euro-MP friends, this is what I, honored by the task that has been assigned to me, am asking for. To be the spokesman for the demands of civil society with regard to the CAP. The Good Food March that has brought us here will not end today. We are now passing the baton on to you, fully aware that in the last few months and recent weeks we have expressed our will as European citizens and citizens of the world with the utmost clarity.
We elected you to defend the welfare of all, the common good and common goods: the Common Agricultural Policy is one of the most effective tools that you have at your disposal to achieve this objective.
Thank you.
Carlo Petrini
Slow Food International President
September 19, 2012
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Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Atlas Barber School
I am sad to report, the Atlas Barber School and shop closed forever this past Saturday after the landlord raised the rent to an impossible $11,000 per month. Just off Astor Place in the East Village, on 3rd Ave. and 9th St., Atlas had been in business since 1948.
all color photos from last day of Atlas
When I heard the news from tipster Marcus, I ran in for a last cut. I talked to Sheila Gray, director of the school. She was too upset to talk much about the closure, except to express frustration about the rent hike and sadness about closing. She pointed to a statue of St. Jude in the back office, a room cluttered with papers and framed certificates, and said, "See that statue of St. Jude? My father carried it everywhere. He's the saint of lost causes." She shrugged as if to say "so much for that."
When I told her that Atlas had kept me in haircuts during my early lean years in the neighborhood, she gave me a hug. (She asked me to wait to post this story until today, when the closure is official.)
last haircut
The school began at 87 Third Avenue, then moved to Times Square in the 1950s where Atlas, unlike many schools at the time, trained several women barbers. As the Times put it in 1959, "The barber shop, long a sanctuary for the American man, is being invaded by women. And...they are barbers."
Atlas later moved back down to Third Avenue. There it weathered the "Scissorless Seventies," when the barbering world, having survived the female invasion, now panicked about the long hair trend. The venerable crew cut, said many reports, had vanished forever.
the Times Square school, 1950s, Atlas website
But the 1980s turned business around. Said Atlas instructor Lou Bucaria to the Times in 1985, "The future is bright. Although long hair once threatened to destroy the barbering industry as we know it, the future is short hair, more haircuts. Indeed, even women now want the same short haircuts as the men." At that time, the price for a haircut was $2.75.
By 1993, the price at Atlas was $5--where it stayed. Throughout the 1990s, there were 42 chairs at Atlas and "no waiting," with a storefront on 3rd and another running through to 10th Street. At some point, perhaps after 2000, they closed the 10th Street side. It's possible that times had gotten tough again for this long-time survivor and living artifact of another New York.
According to the school's website (now gone), Atlas was "the only barber school still thriving in the old Barber School District, which was once located in the East Village. In its heyday, according to the Museum of the City of New York, The Bowery had as many as two barber schools per block. Today, Atlas Barber School is the only barber school left from that era and it is currently the oldest barber school in operation in New York State."
Lillian Ross visited the school in 1980 to write about it for the New Yorker magazine. She called it "the only classic, shave-teaching barber school left in the city."
click to enlarge
With the loss of Atlas, we have lost the last of a breed--the last barber school of the old Barber School District; the last classic, shave-teaching barber school in the city; and the oldest barber school in the state of New York.
Atlas was in business for 64 years. They offered the cheapest haircuts around--pretty much anyone could afford it.
But none of this matters, because the landlord wants $11,000 a month. After all, Astor Place is changing--a shiny new tower is coming, and shiny new towers bring shiny new people who want all things to be shiny and new. As Sheila noted to me, Atlas and the East Village Cheese shop are the only old-school businesses left on the block--now the cheese stands alone and we have to wonder for how much longer.
I wrote here about Atlas in 2008. At the time I chatted with one of the instructors and asked her if she thought Atlas would last much longer. "She shook her head to say 'who knows'...and wondered about 'that big new building down there,' the Cooper Square Hotel, 'it's so out of place--did they mean to make it look like it's falling over?'"
This weekend, while waiting for my last haircut, I talked to a couple of old-timers. One white-haired man who'd just gone in for a trim, leaned on his cane and turned up his hearing aid when I asked him, "Where are you gonna go now?" He just shook his head and said, "That's right. Where am I gonna go?"
Post-Script: Reader Laura sends in a shot from today--as the school has been emptied into a Dumpster.
37 comments:
WOW I had no idea the history of this place. Great story jeremiah... and a sad one. Thanks for the photo credit: although it was a sad sight to see.
Laura - May 30, 2012 at 7:39 AM
- EV Grieve said...
$11,000 for that space?
Wow. Wonder what that Duane Reade is paying on the corner of 10th.
The Death Star will claim many more victims before it's up and running. This is just the beginning. - May 30, 2012 at 7:58 AM
- David said...
That is so upsetting! I walked by there on Saturday and had no idea they were closing. A good barbershop is getting harder and harder to find in this salon-dominated city. Where are they going to train the barbers of tomorrow now?
- May 30, 2012 at 9:12 AM
- May 30, 2012 at 9:18 AM
- May 30, 2012 at 10:16 AM
- esquared™ said...
Greedy landlords are greedy.
Who needs a $5 haircut or shave nowadays when one can get a $50 one http://www.nyshavingcompany.com/index.html , or purchase a kit for ~ $500 http://www.theartofshaving.com/taos6/home.php
And they call us elitists. - May 30, 2012 at 10:24 AM
- James C. Taylor said...
Anonymous 10:16 sums things up pretty succinctly.
I used to go to Neighborhood Barbers on 9th, but got annoyed when the guy cutting my hair would disappear for minutes at a time to run an errand or move a parked car or chat with someone leaving me in the chair.
Astor Place is always a pot-luck situation, and my last haircut there was a disaster. The guy ignored my suggestions and left me with almost no hair at all. Fortunately it's growing back.
I never even noticed Atlas. If I'd known about their low prices I'd have definitely tried it. What a sad story. - May 30, 2012 at 12:01 PM
I've been going to Ilya's Barber Shop on Lispenard for the last 10 years or so. For the past 3 of those years, I pretty much hold my breath every time I turn the corner.
Is this really what we're reduced to now, gaining our pleasure from the fact that our no frills barbershop isn't yet covered in plywood, awaiting it's transformation into a more Wisconsin friendly establishment?
RIP Atlas Barber School - the death of one is the death of them all - May 30, 2012 at 12:08 PM
EV Grieve is right. This is the beginning of another massive tsunami for the area - as if it hadn't already swept through a couple of times already. However, I expect Death Star will wipe out pretty much everything we know within the immediate area. But when East Village Cheese closes, blood will flow. Someone will pay for that one. Yeah, I'm an elitist...I like cheese...been shopping there for 20+ years. I can't buy cheese at a fucking Marc Jacobs funny enough. Yet.
- May 30, 2012 at 12:21 PM
When I was a grad student at NYU in the mid-1990s and was living on half a shoestring and some prayers, I got my hair cut there a few times, and it was great. They were friendly, the student barbers did an excellent job, and it was SO affordable. New York is rapidly turning into Venice. Not. Cool. At. All.
But hey, if only 40,000 more people, a smidgeon out of New York City's 4+ million eligible voters, had pulled the levers for Thompson instead of Bloombuck$...heck of a job! - May 30, 2012 at 1:04 PM
Although I haven't been there in several years, I used to be a regular in the 90's.
Another one bites the dust.
As Grieve said, when that new tower goes up, this neighborhood is going to change in the blink of an eye.
We haven't seen nothing yet. The new tower is going to initiate a cascade of closures to make room for all things high end and luxurious. - May 30, 2012 at 1:45 PM
- Laura Goggin Photography said...
I had no idea of the history of this place, either. So sad...and so tired of reading sad stories. It seems the businesses that have been going strong for so long in the last century are suddenly vanishing all at once. Every day, another element of the city is lost and I wonder if NYC will lose its soul forever.
- May 30, 2012 at 1:49 PM
- Marty Wombacher said...
I never got a chance to visit this place and now I never will. That last photo really puts it all in perspective. Fuck.
- May 30, 2012 at 5:32 PM
- chris flash said...
This is really sickening.
$11,000 per month = >73 haircuts a day just to cover the fucking rent. Never mind having money left to cover other expenses, including LIVING.
If landlords were not rewarded with the ability to write off losses due to lack of rental income from commercial spaces they have caused to be vacated, and if more folks simply chose to BOYCOTT whatever took the place of a long-time neighborhood establishment, this would less likely to happen. - May 30, 2012 at 5:44 PM
- chris flash said...
Anonymous 1:04:
Don't be fooled about the first Bloomberg election. Thompson was not really running vs Bloombucks. He was a SHILL candidate!! - May 30, 2012 at 5:46 PM
- Ken Mac said...
Still plenty of old school barbers around. I get my cut at the joint on Sullivan at West 3rd. They cut Vinnie "The Chin" Gigante in the day, and all the mobsters. It's just down the block from the old mob social club that is now a tea shoppe. Oh, the humanity.
- May 30, 2012 at 5:58 PM
I just had my hair cut on Friday. Had no clue it was about to close. I've been going there regularly for over 10 years. I was continually shocked the $5 price never went up. I occasionally got barbers who spent too much time gabbing on their phones or were trying to be quick rather than careful. Fortunately, my cut is hard to screw up.
I was seeing some of the same barbers in there for years. Obviously they weren't still students. I guess they just liked cutting hair for small tips, or the company.
I don't know where to go now. I have been to other places occasionally when I needed a cut and Atlas was closed, but I don't know which to turn to regularly.
Shocking to see all the chairs in the dumpster so quickly. What will become of all the people there?
I'd say the 10th Street annex was around until at least c. 2005. I was sent over there once when the 3rd Ave one was full. - May 30, 2012 at 8:50 PM
- Jeremiah Moss said...
i'm fucking sick of it, too. May was a rough month.
what happens to us with all of this? do we just get more depressed, despondent, disempowered? or does the pressure build and will we soon explode? - May 30, 2012 at 11:04 PM
- gabriel said...
This is what we do, now.
This is the way it happens, now.
We prep for surgery, snap on our gloves, break out our sledgehammers, and tear down the all the old, dirty things, layered over with memories like jawbreakers or subway-station paint. We pave it over, steamroll it flat, chrome it up, and slap on our price-tags.
Then we build a gallery in the center of it all -- let's call it a "memorial" -- and we hang our paintings and photographs, of how it all used to be and how it all used to look and how it all used to feel. Our gory glory days.
And we cater an Opening: cheap wine and plastic, paparazzi and folks with funny glasses and unfunny affectations. Myself plus one, on the VIP list.
And we sell the paintings and photographs... for a profit, naturally, 'cos there's nothing and no one left to donate the proceeds to.
And we curate a tote-bag commemorating the opening of the closing of everything. And we sell that, too.
And we laugh and laugh and we march through the streets (deliciously car-free) with sparklers in our champagne bottles, collars popped and shirt-tails untucked.
"Not with a bang, but a whimper." - May 30, 2012 at 11:54 PM
Unfortunately, exploding won't accomplish anything.
I don't want to sound defeatist, but this is the nature of the beast at this time. New Yorkers voted for Mike, and this is what we get. And as the comments in one of your previous posts shows, there are apparently quite a few New Yorkers who are happy with the way things are rolling.
Those who are most responsible for all of this don't listen to popular explosions anyway. Their feet barely ever touch the street, let alone engage with everyday people.
The pendulum eventually swings back in the other direction... but it hurts like hell to have to live through all of this anyway.
At this point I'm beginning to see that unique cultural moment, say from the late 60's through the late 90's, as an unusual exception.
We have to accept the possibility that New York's current transformation may well last for quite some time, decades even. Once the wealthy dig their heels in, they rarely let go. And they really believe the whole city is theirs to remake as they see fit, whatever the cost to working people, native or transplant. - May 31, 2012 at 12:16 AM
Goddammitsomuch. I've been going there for the last 6 years or so ever since my barber of over 20 years retired.
- May 31, 2012 at 2:21 AM
Whaddya mean "long hair 70s?"I used to get my hair cut there back in the early 70s alla time.
- May 31, 2012 at 12:27 PM
I drop by this blog once every couple of months when I am feeling sentimental for the city I grew up in and left behind ten years ago only to be reminded why I left. It is like everyday little napalm bombs are being dropped on my youth. And when I am feeling particularly bad I think of my mom who grew up in Chelsea during the late 30s, 40s and 50s. If it blows my mind I can only imagine what it does to hers. Thanks for the great work Jeremiah. You are one of the few doing the invaluable work of documenting for posterity the piecemeal destruction of a once great city. And yes, it is destruction. A weird upward/downward destruction.
- June 1, 2012 at 5:44 PM
I literally just walked down there to get a haircut two hours ago and it was all boarded up. A google search brought me here, a sad day for cheap haircuts.
- June 1, 2012 at 7:19 PM
- Shawn said...
+1 what Chris Flash said. Until that tax loophole is dealt with, NEW YORK WILL CONTINUE TO VANISH AT THE HANDS OF GREEDY LANDLORDS!
- June 2, 2012 at 11:36 PM
I grew up near there. The history which winds up dumped is horrendous. It is now a city devoid of forward thinking, no creativity, pathetic.
Had I known this was happening, I could have salvaged all those chairs, used the bases and other elements for new furniture creations. Shocking that nobody was there to do this. 20 years ago, people would have grabbed them for re-use. But, then again, 20 years ago, NYC was still a place you could have a shit job or two in and carve out a life for yourself.
This is my furniture page - if you know of anything like this happening, please, please, please don't let history turn into landfill!!!! Let me make something from it!
http://www.facebook.com/MadeByGideon - June 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM
I just went down to get my haircut and saw the empty space. Came home to see what happened and saw this blog post and now I want to cry. I've been getting cuts at Atlas for 10 years since I've moved into the neighborhood and to see it gone leaves yet another major hole in the NYC landscape.
Great post, but the NYC tears are flowing a bit... AND where the --- do i get my haircuts now!! - June 16, 2012 at 1:08 PM
- Justin Allen said...
This sucks, I wanted to go to this school to learn how to cut hair. I wish it was still open and the rent did not go up but i guess everything happens for a reason. Good post. Thanks for sharing this.
- June 20, 2012 at 2:58 PM
Sorry to see the Atlas School close. I was hoping to go there for a refresher course. Now...IDK where I'll go. Maybe Sheila will make a new space, but I doubt it.
- July 1, 2012 at 1:33 AM
I got the shock of my life when I went down last Friday to Atlas for my 3-month buzz #2 cut, to find the place empty. Unbelievable.
The last decent, no-BS, no metrosexual place for a quick and simple cut gone.
It's the endless story of anything worth a damn in NYC. - July 8, 2012 at 9:14 AM
What a disappointment.
Are there any plans to reopen somewhere else in the city.
This place was a great school which provided a valuable service to the community. - July 20, 2012 at 2:43 PM
I am an atlas graduate . This was a great barber school. The school could have been managed much better. The owner (Sheila) was there twice a month. So of course it eventually would go out of business. Maybe if she was there more and updated the school. Maybe raised tuition alittle bit. Could have still made money . I love Sheila she is a great person. But the school could of survived . 17 chairs 3500 tuition , Day and night classes . Your do the math!
- August 27, 2012 at 11:42 AM
As a graduate, you have a perspective about the situation that most don't have. Thank you for giving it. Still, it's sad that a business that was around so long went under.
- January 3, 2013 at 6:54 AM
- Unknown said...
A great New York institution gone, so sad!
- March 24, 2013 at 12:09 AM
- July 13, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Graduated Atlas Barber School in 1968. Sad to see that the doors closed. In New Jersey you have to go to beauty school now to learn how to cut men's hair. That's B.S.
It was a very cool place and a great chance to learn hair cutting
and shaving - September 23, 2013 at 5:36 PM
- astroboy said...
I think part of the training was having to shave a baloon.
- August 7, 2016 at 7:40 PM


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Porter Wagoner was known for a string of country hits in the '60s, perennial appearances at the Grand Ole Opry in his trademark rhinestone suits, and for launching the career of Dolly Parton.
Like many older performers, his star had faded in recent years. But his death from lung cancer Sunday, at 80, came only after a remarkable late-career revival that won him a new generation of fans.
The Missouri-born Wagoner signed with RCA Records in 1955 and joined the Opry in 1957, "the greatest place in the world to have a career in country music," he said in 1997. His showmanship, suits and pompadoured hair made him famous.
He had his own syndicated TV show, "The Porter Wagoner Show," for 21 years, beginning in 1960. It was one of the first syndicated shows to come out of Nashville and set a pattern for many others.
"Some shows are mechanical, but ours was not polished and slick," he said in 1982.
Among his hits, many of which he wrote or co-wrote, were "Carroll County Accident," "A Satisfied Mind," "Company's Comin'," "Skid Row Joe," "Misery Loves Company" and "Green Green Grass of Home."
The songs often told stories of tragedy or despair. In "Carroll County Accident," a married man having an affair is killed in a car crash; "Skid Row Joe" deals with a once-famous singer who's lost everything.
In 2002, he was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame.
Great recent reviews
In May, after years without a recording contract, he signed with ANTI- records, an eclectic Los Angeles label best known for alt-rock acts like Tom Waits, Nick Cave and Neko Case.
Wagoner's final album, "Wagonmaster," was released in June and earned him some of the best reviews of his career. Over the summer, he was the opening act for the influential rock duo White Stripes at a sold-out show at New York's Madison Square Garden.
To many music fans, Wagoner was best known as the man who boosted Parton's career. He had hired the 21-year-old singer as his duet partner in 1967, when she was just beginning to gain notice through songs such as "Dumb Blonde."
They were the Country Music Association's duo of the year in 1970 and 1971, recording hit duets including "The Last Thing on My Mind."
Parton's solo country records, such as her autobiographical "Coat of Many Colors," also began climbing the charts in the early 1970s. She wrote the pop standard "I Will Always Love You" in 1973 after Wagoner suggested she shift from story songs to focus on love songs.
The two quit singing duets in 1974 and she went on to wide stardom with pop hits and movies such as "9 to 5," whose theme song was also a hit for her.
Wagoner sued her for $3 million in assets, but they settled out of court in 1980. He said later they were always friendly, "but it's a fact that when you're involved with attorneys and companies that have them on retainer, it makes a different story."
At a charity roast for Wagoner in 1995, she explained the breakup this way: "We split over creative differences. I was creative, and Porter was different."
Hospitalized this month
He said in a 1982 Associated Press interview that his show "was a training ground for her; she learned a great deal and I exposed her to very important people and the country music fans."
She was present at the ceremony in May 2007 honoring Wagoner on his silver anniversary with the Opry. At the time, he called Parton "one of my best friends today." She also visited him in the hospital as he battled cancer.
Wagoner, who had survived an abdominal aneurysm in 2006, was hospitalized again this month and his publicist disclosed he had lung cancer. He died at 8:25 p.m. CDT Sunday in a Nashville hospice, said Darlene Bieber, a spokeswoman for the Opry.
Country singer and Opry member Dierks Bentley visited Wagoner in the hospice over the weekend and said Wagoner led them in prayer, thanking God for his friends, his family and the Grand Ole Opry.
"The loss of Porter is a great loss for the Grand Ole Opry and for country music, and personally it is a great loss of a friend I was really just getting to know," Bentley said. "I feel blessed for the time I had with him."
Pete Fisher, vice president and general manager of the Opry, said the Opry family of musicians and performers was deeply saddened by the news. "His passion for the Opry and all of country music was truly immeasurable," Fisher said.
'Thin Man From West Plains'
Wagoner was born in West Plains, Mo., and became known as "The Thin Man From West Plains" because of his lanky frame. He recalled that he spent hours as a child pretending to be an Opry performer, using a tree stump as a stage.
He started in radio, then became a regular on the "Ozark Jubilee," one of the first televised national country music shows. On the Opry since 1957, he joined Roy Acuff and other onetime idols.
At one point his wardrobe included more than 60 handmade rhinestone suits.
"Rhinestone suits are just beautiful under the lights," he said. "They've become a big part of my career. I get more compliments on my outfits than any other entertainer — except for Liberace."
While he continued with the Opry, and even had a small part in the 1982 movie "Honky Tonk Man" starring Clint Eastwood, his recording career dried up in the 1980s — until his return this year.
"I stopped making records because I didn't like the way they were wanting me to record," he said. "When RCA dropped me from the label, I didn't really care about making records for another label because I didn't have any say in what they would release and how they would make the records and so forth."


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A rich, hearty condiment of minced carrots, burdock root (cocklebur), and lotus root slowly cooked with unrefined sesame oil and hacho miso. Sprinkle on cooked grain, noodles, potatoes, vegetables, and salad. Potently energizing and flavorful. Fat free and low sodium.
Eden Tekka (miso condiment) is a nutritious table condiment specially formulated by George Ohsawa (1893-1966), the founder of modern macrobiotics. Mr. Ohsawa taught that modern refined foods, along with high consumption of animal protein and fat, are the major causes of modern degenerative diseases and that whole natural foods with their intrinsic healing properties can restore our health. Tekka was developed to help counteract the effects of refined sugar, refined grains, and other nutritionally deficient modern highly processed and refined foods.
According to the macrobiotic principles taught by George Ohsawa, tekka is a strongly contracting or 'yang' condiment, as is salt, yet offers qualities far beyond salt alone. The Japanese have a long history of using condiments to enhance and balance their grain and vegetable based diet. These condiments not only add flavor to foods but also provide minerals, vitamins, and other essential nutrients. They are often used like herbs to treat a variety of conditions. Unlike in the West, Japanese do not have a tradition of sprinkling raw salt on their food. Instead they prepare condiments in which the salt is either cooked with other ingredients or roasted and ground prior to use. Tekka is prepared in this tradition with its mild saltiness coming solely from hatcho miso.
Eden Tekka is made in the traditional manner, a time consuming and laborious process. After aging hacho miso for three years it is ground into a smooth paste. Equal proportions of burdock root (cocklebur or Arctium lappa, Articum majus), lotus root (Nelumbo nucifera), and carrot are finely minced. The burdock is sautéed with unrefined sesame oil in cast iron cauldrons for several minutes. The carrot and lotus root are then added and sautéed several minutes. The hacho miso is added and evenly mixed with the vegetables and ground sesame seeds. Lastly, the mixture is sautéed over low heat for five to seven hours. During this long slow cooking process the liquid in the vegetables and miso evaporates completely, resulting in a dry, deep black, strengthening and energizing condiment. Tekka literally means 'iron fire'.
Eden Tekka is strongly concentrated. A moderate amount, about one-quarter to one-half teaspoon, can be used occasionally to add delicious flavor and nutrients to food. Simply sprinkle a small amount of tekka over brown rice and other cooked whole grain, noodles, vegetables or salad. Try with Brown Rice and Chickpeas in the recipe section of this site.


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In some ways the Syrian civil war resembles a proxy chess match between supporters of the Bashar al-Assad regime— Iran, Iraq, Russia and China—and its opponents— Turkey, the oil monarchies, the U.S., Britain and France. But the current conflict only resembles chess if the game is played with multiple sides, backstabbing allies, and conflicting agendas.
Take the past few weeks of roller coaster politics.
The blockbuster was the U.S.-engineered rapprochement between Israel and Turkey, two Washington allies that have been at loggerheads since Israeli commandos attacked a humanitarian flotilla bound for Gaza and killed eight Turks and one Turkish-American. When Tel Aviv refused to apologize for the 2010 assault, or pay compensation to families of the slain, Ankara froze relations and blocked efforts at any NATO-Israeli cooperation.
Under the prodding of President Obama, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu phoned his Turkish counterpart, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, and buried the hatchet. The apology "was offered the way we wanted," Erdogan said, and added "We are at the beginning of a process of elevating Turkey to a position so that it will again have a say, initiative and power, as it did in the past."
The détente will align both countries with much of Washington's agenda in the region, which includes overthrowing the Assad government, and isolating Iran. Coupled with a Turkish push to resolve the long simmering war between Ankara and its Kurdish minority, it was a "Fantastic week for Erdogan," remarked former European Union policy chief Javier Solana.
It was also a slam dunk moment for the Israelis, whose intransigence over the 2010 incident and continued occupation of Palestinian and Syrian lands has left the country more internationally isolated than it has been in its 65 year history.
Israel's apology might lay the groundwork for direct intervention in Syria by NATO and Israel. In recent testimony before Congress, Admiral James Stavridis, the head of U.S. European Command and NATO's top commander, said that a more aggressive posture by the Obama administration vis-à-vis Syria "would be helpful in breaking the deadlock and bringing down the regime."
According to the Guardian (UK), Netanyahu raised the possibility of joint U.S.-Israeli air strikes against Syria, which Israel accuses of shifting weapons to its ally Hezbollah in Lebanon. There is no evidence that Syria has actually done that, and logic would suggest that the Assad regime is unlikely to export weapons when it is fighting for its life and struggling to overcome an arms embargo imposed on it by the EU and the UN. But Tel Aviv is spoiling for a re-match with Hezbollah, the organization that fought it to a standstill in 2006. "What I hear over and over again from Israeli generals is that another war with Hezbollah is inevitable," a former U.S. diplomat told the Guardian.
There is some talk among Israelis about establishing a "buffer zone" inside Syria to prevent Islamic groups becoming a presence on the border. A similar buffer zone established after Israel's 1982 invasion of Lebanon turned into a strategic disaster for Tel Aviv.
Admiral Stavridis's suggested that a more aggressive posture would almost certainly not include using U.S. ground troops. According to former Indian diplomat M. K. Bhadrakumar, a more likely scenario would be for NATO air power to smash Assad's air force and armor—as it did Mummer Khadafy's in Libya—and "if ground forces need to be deployed inside Syria at some stage, Turkey can undertake that mission, being a Muslim country belonging to NATO."
The Gulf monarchies—specifically Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and Jordan—have increased arms shipments to the anti-Assad insurgents, and France and Britain are considering breaking the embargo and arming the Free Syrian Army. If this were a normal chess game, it would look like checkmate for Assad, Hezbollah, and Iran. But this game is three-dimensional, with multiple players sometimes pursuing different goals.
Qatar and Saudi Arabia are pouring what one American official called "a cataract of weaponry" into Syria, but the former apparently double-crossed the latter in a recent leadership fight in the Syrian National Coalition (SNC), the umbrella organization for the various groups fighting against the Damascus government. Qatar derailed Saudi Arabia's candidate for the SNC's prime minister and slipped its own man into the post, causing the organization's president, Ahmed Moaz al-Khatib, to resign. While most the western media reported Khatib resigned because SNC was not getting enough outside help, according to As-Safir, the leading Arabic language newspaper in Lebanon, it was over the two big oil monarchies trying to impose their candidates on the Syrians.
Qatar ally Ghassan Hitto, a Syrian-American was anointed prime minister, causing a dozen SNC members to resign. The Free Syrian Army, too, says it will not recognize Hitto.
Khatib also objected to the Qatari move to form a Syrian government because it torpedoed last June's Geneva agreement that would allow Assad to stay on until a transitional government is formed. The Qatari move was essentially a statement that the Gulf monarchy would accept nothing less than an outright military victory.
Qatar is close to the Syrian Muslim Brotherhood, while Saudi Arabia favors the more extremist Islamic groups, some with close links to al-Qaida, that the U.S. and the European Union have designated as "terrorist." Tension between extremist and more moderate insurgents broke into an open firefight Mar. 24 in the northern border city of Tal Abyad. The secular Farouq Battalions, which favors elections and a civil government, were attacked by the Jabhat al-Nusra, or Nusra Front, that wants to impose Sharia Law and establish an Islamic emirate. Four people were killed, and the leader of the Farouq Battalions was severely wounded.
The Nusra Front has also tangled with Kurdish groups in Syria's northwest, and its militias currently control much of the southern border with Iraq, Jordan, and the Golan Heights that borders Israel. It was the Nusra Front that recently kidnapped UN peacekeepers for several days and attacked Iraqi soldiers escorting members of the Syrian military who had fled across the border. There have also been clashes between secular and Islamic forces in the Syrian cities of Shadadeh and Deir el Zour.
The Turkish government backing of the Syrian insurgency is not popular among most Turks, and that has to concern Erdogan, because he is trying to alter the Turkey's constitution to make it more executive-centered and to himself become the next president. Although he is currently riding a wave of popularity over the Kurdish ceasefire, that could erode if the Syria war drags on.
And without direct NATO-Israeli intervention there does not appear to be any quick end to the civil war in sight. Assad still has support from his minority ethnic group, the Alawites, as well as among Christian denominations and many business groups. All fear an Islamic takeover. "If the rebels come to this city," one wealthy Damascus businessman told Der Spiegel, "they'll eat us alive."
The longer the war goes on, the more the region destabilizes.
Fighting has broken out between Shiites and Sunnis in northern Lebanon, a Sunni-extremist fueled bombing campaign is polarizing Iraq, and Jordan is rent by an internal opposition that poses a serious threat to the Hashemite monarchy. Even Saudi Arabia has problems. A low-level but persistent movement for democracy in the country's eastern provinces is resisting a brutal crackdown by Saudi authorities. As National Public Radio and GlobalPost reporter Reese Erlich discovered, some of those regime opponents are being given a choice between prison and fighting the Assad government, a strategy that the Saudi government may come to regret. It was jihadists sent to oppose the Soviets in Afghanistan who eventually returned to destabilize countries in the Middle East, South Asia, and Africa, and who currently form the backbone of al-Qaida associated groups like the Nusra Front .
Aaron Zelin, Middle East expert and Fellow at the Washington Institute told Erlich that fighters from Saudi Arabia, Libya, Tunisia, and Jordan are being funneled into Syria.
Chess with multiple players can get tricky.
Turkey wants regional influence and Assad out, but it does not want a neighbor dominated by the Gulf monarchies. It may also find that talking about Turkish "power" doesn't go down well in the Middle East. Arab countries had quite enough of that during the Ottoman Empire.
The Gulf monarchies want to overthrow the secular Assad regime, isolate regional rival Iran, and insure Sunni supremacy over Shites in the region. But they don't agree on what variety of Islam they want, nor are they the slightest bit interested in democracy and freedom, concepts that they have done their best to suppress at home.
The French and British want a replay of Libya, but Syria is not a marginal country on the periphery of the Middle East, but a dauntingly complex nation in the heart of the region that might well atomize into ethnic-religious enclaves run by warlords. That is not an outcome that sits well with other European nations and explains their hesitation about joining the jihad against Assad.
Even the Israeli goal of breaking out of its isolation, destroying Hezbollah, and strangling Iran may be a pipe dream. Regardless of Turkish-Israeli detente, the barriers that keep Palestinians out of Israel also wall off Tel Aviv off from the rest of the Middle East, and that will not change until there is an Israeli government willing to remove most of the settlements and share Jerusalem.
As for Hezbollah, contrary to its portrayal in the western media as a cat's paw for Teheran, the Shite group is a grassroots organization based in Lebanon's largest ethnic group. It is also being careful not to give the Israelis an excuse to attack it. In any case, any Israeli invasion of Lebanon would automatically rally international sentiment and Arab public opinion—Shite, Sunni, Alawite, etc.—against it.
If Assad falls, Iran would lose an ally, but Teheran's closest friend in the Middle East is Baghdad, not Damascus. And despite strong American objections, Teheran recently scored a major coup by inking an agreement with Pakistan's government to build a $7.5 billion gas pipeline to tap Iran's South Pars field. The pact will not only blow a hole in western sanctions against Iran, it will play well in the May 11 Pakistani elections. "The Pakistani government wants to show it is willing to take foreign policy decisions that defy the U.S.," says Anthony Skinner of the British-based Maplecroft risk consultants. "The pipeline not only caters to Pakistan's energy needs but also logged brownie points with the many critics of the U.S. among the electorate."
In the end, the effort to knock Syria off the board may succeed, although the butcher bill will be considerably higher than the current body count of 70,000. But establishing a pro-western government in Damascus and inflicting damage on Iran is mostly illusion. "Victory"—particularly a military one— is more likely to end in chaos and instability, and a whole lot more dead chess pieces.
Conn Hallinan can be read at dispatchesfromtheedgeblog.wordpress.com and middleempireseries.wordpress.com


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I climbed the stairs from the parking garage, emerging onto the street-level sidewalk next to the theater and walked toward the entrance.
Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better.
I heard her singing and when I turned to look directly at her I wondered how I had missed her in the first place. She was standing behind an open guitar case, smiling with the nervous confidence that only a 12 year old girl can muster: acutely aware of the attention, but also immortal.
Remember to let her into your heart.
She was singing "Hey Jude" with that same self-aware immortality: her voice was pitched loudly enough to carry down the sidewalk, but it cracked, and popped a little. Unwilling or unable to stop singing she rushed across those nervous notes, the sound warping a little as she fought to articulate the words in spite of the grin that took over her face.
Then you can start to make it better.
Her hands were clasped tightly behind her back, and she sang without swaying, her neck arching and chin dropping as she came over the top of the high notes, powering through long phrases by singing from her gut, not her shoulders. She had worked hard for this, to sing, wherever it was. Tonight it was behind an open guitar case.
Hey Jude don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her.
Not alone. The man to her left in the denim shirt, the ponytail of greyed hair pulled back from a deeply receding hairline, strumming the guitar formerly housed in the mostly empty guitar case, and gazing at her with smiling eyes as he hit harmonic points, was clearly her father. He had the confidence of an old performer, but one who was enthralled by the experience of seeing someone he loved, helped, created, step up and perform on her own. He loved his Sidewalk Star, and his pride in her was infectious. I was proud of her myself.
The minute you let her under your skin
I was leaning against the wall outside the theater, Tweeting or reading an e-mail on my Blackberry as I waited to go inside and drop $20 on a movie on one of my rare nights off. And I was listening, raptly, as were so many of the people on the sidewalk. But I wasn't just listening to the song; that wasn't what was keeping my attention. I was experiencing an aspect of parenthood that I've only had small tastes of, so far: pride in choices, in hard work, in effort, in caring.
Then you begin to make it better.
I see a lot more of these father-daughter moments now, it seems, these little previews of my future with Erin. I don't know if I will ever be able to pull off a pony tail or denim shirt (well, another denim shirt; I've had my fair share, but it was the 90's, and in Canada), but I can certainly see myself strumming the strings, literally or metaphorically, in a soft accompaniment to whatever it is she has chosen to do. Showing her off to the world for the woman she is promising to be.
A woman stood up from where she had been sitting against a lamp post nearby. She stepped behind the case, next to the girl, and added her alto voice, smoothing out the slight choppiness of the girl's soprano with a mother's loving confidence, knowing that the girl could sound even more beautiful if she believed it, and knowing that believing it meant recreating those times when she believed it most, at home, before dinner, before the television was turned on. She was the sensible counterpoint to her husband's shining, blind enthusiasm.
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
And listening now to that family, created for me out on the sidewalk as I was on my way to see a movie, I had to do something to let them know that their song, their evening, their intimate sharing, had not been lost on me.
Well don't you know that it's a fool who plays it cool by making his world a little colder.
So I walked over to them, pulled my hand out of my pocket, and dropped my twenty in the guitar case. Not because I thought they needed the money or had earned the money or because I wanted to patronize the busking arts, but because I knew that she would know that she had done something special, and she would gush about it with her father, and he could be proud of her all over again because he knows, from experience, how rare it is for someone to do more than toss a couple of quarters in the case.
Hey Jude don't let her down. You have found her now go and get her.
I dropped the bill in because I saw Erin standing there, and I saw myself standing there, and I saw Emily standing there, and I wanted to do something for our future selves. It's probably a good thing that I wasn't carrying a hundred dollar bill with me, because Erin's voice, that voice I hear in my head when I think her, was directing all of my thinking.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Jude, you'll do, the movement you need is on your shoulder.
"Have a good night, guys," said Erin's voice through my mouth as I released the bill and turned to walk into the theater.
Guitar cases don't accept credit cards, but movie theaters do.


text:
Good morning. I'm Renee Montagne.
As the U.S. men's gymnastics team struggles to adjust to the London arena, where they will compete, they're thinking more about pink than gold. That's because the competition floor is covered in hot pink. In a room Barbie would love, the men's team says it's not about gender norms but rather an array of colors making it hard to spot the high bars. As one gymnast put it, real men do compete on pink floors.
It's MORNING EDITION. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.