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It didn't happen in Treutlen County, but you don't need to miss this video from our Georgia swamp.
Now, you will want to read more:
FARGO, GA, July 27, 2010 -- Gators galore! A Georgia fisherman's video of a rare alligator "feeding frenzy" is bringing unexpected attention to the Okefenokee Swamp. Ray Cason of Homerville had just launched his boat at Stephen C. Foster State Park on July 10 when he documented hundreds of alligators feeding in a narrow canal. His short video was posted by the Clinch County News and has since been picked up by Southeastern media and viewed by nearly 50,000 people.
Imagining themselves in Cason's boat, people tend to have one of two reactions: "Get me outta here!" or "Quick, where's my camera?" For those eager to see alligators and explore the mysterious swamp, the Georgia Department of Natural Resources is offering advice for a good visit. Rangers are reminding tourists that such massive gatherings of alligators is extremely rare, prompted by low water levels that force fish into small areas. Visitors are almost sure to see alligators, but not in a large gathering as shown in the video. Typically, alligators are solitary animals that slip under the black water when boats approach.
The footage was shot in the small canal that leads from Stephen C. Foster State Park's boat basin into the main channel of the Okefenokee Swamp. Visitors can bring their own boats or rent them from the park when water levels are high. However, when water levels are as low as they are currently, boat rentals may not be available. Park staff encourage visitors to call before traveling to determine if canoes, kayaks or motorized jon boats can make it through the narrow canal. For their own safety, pets are prohibited in all boats.
"People don't realize that alligators will go after dogs and other pets," said Park Manager Travis Griffin. "They aren't interested in adults in boats, but they have been known to go after fish on rods and poles. This is why we tell anglers to not put stringers or fish baskets in the water."
Feeding any wildlife in the Okefenokee Swamp National Wildlife Refuge is illegal. Griffin emphasized the danger of feeding alligators because they learn to associate people with food. He recommends that visitors admire the giant reptiles from a distance and keep their hands and feet inside boats. Children should not play near the water's edge.
The famous swamp is in a remote part of southeast Georgia, so visitors usually stay overnight. Stephen C. Foster State Park, which is the main western entrance, rents nine fully equipped cottages with kitchens, bathrooms, screened porches and grills. Campers can choose from 64 shaded sites nestled among Spanish moss and saw palmettos. Because the nearest grocery store is 18 miles away, guests are encouraged to bring all supplies.
Stephen C. Foster State Park also features three miles of nature trails and boardwalks, a small gift shop and museum. Park gates are open 7 a.m. until 10 p.m. Spring and fall are the most popular times to visit, so guests are encouraged to make reservations in advance. Summer is the slowest season, due to heat and biting insects.
The Okefenokee Swamp is considered to be one of the Seven Natural Wonders of Georgia. It is the largest blackwater swamp in North America, and one of the largest in the world. Visitors come from across the globe to paddle the still, tea-colored water that reflects blue sky and cypress trees. Birders can look for wood storks, white ibis, great egrets, green-backed heron, marsh wrens and more than 200 other species. Visitors might also see black bear, white tail deer, raccoon, red fox, bobcat, opossum, fox squirrel and other species.
Before You Go:
Stephen C. Foster State Park
17515 Hwy. 177
Fargo , GA 31631
(912) 637-5274
Park Hours:
7 a.m. – 10 p.m. (gate locks at closing; no late entry)
Office Hours:
Fall/Winter 8 a.m. – 5 p.m.; Spring/Summer 7 a.m. – 6 p.m.
$5 Entrance fee per vehicle.
$25-$28 Campsites
$125 Cottages
Visitors are encouraged to leave pets at home because they are not allowed in boats, even privately owned watercraft. Dogs are allowed in the campground and only in select cottages with advance notice. Never leave pets unattended in vehicles.
American Alligator Facts
Alligators eat fish, birds, turtles, snakes, amphibians, raccoon, deer and even black bear.
The temperature at which alligator eggs develop determines their sex. Those eggs which are hatched between 90 and 93 degrees Fahrenheit turn out to be male, while those in temperatures from 82 to 86 °F end up being female.
The breeding season begins in the spring. Although alligators have no vocal cords, males bellow loudly to attract mates and warn off other males during this time by sucking air into their lungs and blowing it out in intermittent, deep-toned roars.
Alligator Fact Sheet from Georgia Dept. of Natural Resources: http://www.georgiawildlife.org/node/270
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text:
Cemeteries in Bradford, PA
YP - The Real Yellow PagesSM - helps you find the right local businesses to meet your specific needs. Search results are sorted by a combination of factors to give you a set of choices in response to your search criteria. These factors are similar to those you might use to determine which business to select from a local Yellow Pages directory, including proximity to where you are searching, expertise in the specific services or products you need, and comprehensive business information to help evaluate a business's suitability for you. "Preferred" listings, or those with featured website buttons, indicate YP advertisers who directly provide information about their businesses to help consumers make more informed buying decisions. YP advertisers receive higher placement in the default ordering of search results and may appear in sponsored listings on the top, side, or bottom of the search results page.
1. Oak Hill Cemetery
212 E Main StBradford, PA 16701
2. Willow Dale Cemetery Association
30 Hedgehog LnBradford, PA 16701
3. McKean Memorial Park
85 Boylston StBradford, PA 16701
4. West Memorials
Serving the Bradford Area
My wife recently passed away. I purchased the best of the best plots directly next to the newly opened Pope John Paul II shrine...nothing but the…
5. Dignity Memorial
From Business: Each one of us is unique with our own story to tell. As North America's largest provider of funeral, cremation and cemetery services, Dignity Memorial…
6. Nationwide Monument
Serving the Bradford Area
I am very pleased with the service we received and quality of the monument that was made for my parents. The staff that we worked with were always…
10. Collins Memorials
15 E Main StAllegany, NY 14706
11. Chestnut Hill Cemetery
Lillibridge RdPortville, NY 14770
We found11results

subset: commoncrawl


text:
The professional life of the present-day scholar is a multifarious enterprise. Faculty members are expected to be excellent teachers, productive researchers, and active participants in a professional community of scholars. In addition, faculty members are asked to respond with composure to changes in their department, college, university, and discipline. Faculty members who find success in academe today are those committed to and engaged in continuous improvement and are those oriented toward finding support to navigate the waters of change.
The Office of Faculty Enhancement (OFE) was established in 2000 with the goal of supporting all University of North Florida faculty members in teaching, research, and service. The mission included the goals of supporting innovation and excellence in teaching and learning. The Office of Faculty Enhancement along with its university program partners have worked toward this mission by offering workshops, consultation, resources, and programs that support faculty members in their continual growth and professional development.
My vision for faculty development at UNF includes the facilitation of connections and productive dialogues among self-motivated faculty members in communities of practice that inform, shape, and improve their professional activities. I encourage faculty members to connect with their colleagues through the workshops offered by OFE. I also encourage faculty members to develop collaborative and productive professional relationships with their colleagues and to develop supportive relationships that produce long-lasting rewards.
As always, I welcome individual faculty members to the Office of Faculty Enhancement to find resources, support, and consultation.
Dan Richard
Director, Office of Faculty Enhancement


text:
Based on the defense pairs the Kings deployed in their morning skate Saturday at Staples Center, it appears they will make a change to their lineup for Game 3 of their opening-round playoff series against the St. Louis Blues.
Alec Martinez, a puck-moving defenseman who has not played since April 2, was paired with veteran Rob Scuderi in the morning session. The other pairs were Robyn Regehr-Drew Doughty; Jake Muzzin-Slava Voynov, and Matt Greene with Keaton Ellerby.
Greene, who was scratched from the lineup for the first two games, stayed out to skate with the extra players long after the rest of the team had returned to the locker room for a game-day meeting, which means he's not scheduled to play. If Ellerby were going to play, he wouldn't have been paired with someone who's not going to be in the lineup.
The Kings made no changes in their six-man defense corps during their run to the Stanley Cup last spring, but they had a healthy Willie Mitchell and Greene was in top form. Mitchell has missed this entire season, and Greene missed most of the season after undergoing back surgery. He played four games but missed the season finale because of an undisclosed injury.
Greene has said he's fine, but he hasn't been able to get back into the lineup. Coach Darryl Sutter has said he hoped Greene could have played more games before the playoffs began in order to get his timing back.
The Kings lost the first two games of this series, each by a 2-1 score. Their defensemen were credited with only nine shots in those games, while the Blues' defensemen were credited with 24.
Coach Darryl Sutter, often feisty with reporters and especially tart-tongued on game days, wouldn't confirm whether there will be any changes. That's standard procedure this time of year. We'll have more coverage soon, including the Kings' comments on what they must do in order to win on Saturday and how they hope to draw on energy generated by the home crowd.
Kings know they don't have to be world beaters
Ducks, Red Wings make lineup changes for Game 3
Video: Metallica performs national anthem before Giants game


text:
I've started working on my engine's BSP compiler (based on Q3Map2/XMAP2) looking to add proper shader parsing and areaportal detection. Currently the shaders are all parsed by libdecl which avoids duplication of code between the engine and utilities.
The engine does not yet use portal based rendering (which is why you can see light clipping through the wall in the images.) The BSP compiler has portal debugging enabled, which outputs an extra surface with a translucent shader for areaportal visualization and debugging.
This is a very simple demo map, however you can already see several issues. The BSP compiler needs to carve the polygons into discrete areas (e.g. the floor polygon should not span two areas.) There are still a few areaportal bugs in the BSP compiler, and of course the engine must be updated to use areaportal based rendering.
Who knows, maybe I'll even get this finished before id Tech 4 is (hopefully) released under the GNU General Public License.


text:
RENO, Nev. (AP) Malik Story scored 25 points and Deonte Burton added 14 to lead Nevada to a 79-61 victory against Southern Utah in a World Vision Classic on Sunday night.
Cole Huff had 11 points and Ali Fall 10 for the Wolf Pack (2-1).
Damon Heuir had 14 points and Julian Scott 13 for the Thunderbirds (0-3).
Jackson Stevenett's two free throws got Southern Utah within a point, 55-54, with 8:37 remaining. But Burton made six free throws and Story scored 14 points, including three 3-point shots, to ignite a 20-4 Nevada run.
The Thunderbirds went scoreless for a 3:30 stretch. Story culminated the surge with a layup that made the score 75-58 with 2:29 to play.


text:
Former Playboy pin-up Holly Madison has married in a fairytale ceremony at Disneyland in California.
"The Girls Next Door" star exchanged vows with her fiancé, Pasquale Rotella, at the Anaheim attraction on Tuesday night while the park was closed to the public.
The wedding was an intimate affair outside the entrance of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride with the couple's 6-month-old daughter Rainbow in attendance.
A spokesman tells Usmagazine.com, "Entertainer/model/producer Holly Madison exchanged vows with … Pasquale Rotella on Tuesday, September 10th, at 10:40 p.m. Their six-month-old daughter Rainbow was the surprise guest of honor. The wedding was held inside Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, Calif. This is the first marriage for both."
The couple began dating in late 2011 and became engaged in June, three months after the birth of their daughter.


text:
Welcome! My name is Sebi. I am a young designer from Iasi, Romania, with a passion for service design, interaction design and user interface design.
Currently I am living in Helsinki, Finland, working as a User Experience Specialist at Futurice.
If you have design work available, here you can:
To dig deeper into what interests me and what I do in my free time, you can:
If you want to make the world better, here are some initiatives that I support and believe in:


text:
A new offering from Penn State Executive Programs will help professionals enhance and integrate their business and information technology strategies. Business Architecture and Strategic Business Process Management (BPM) will debut on Oct. 14 and 15 at the Philadelphia Marriott Downtown in Philadelphia.
The course will provide business process analysts and enterprise architects with a foundational understanding of core business architecture methods and how to apply them to strategic programs and business process initiatives.
"Business architecture breaks down the silos to improve the success of change programs in businesses and government agencies."
-- Brian Cameron, associate dean for professional master's programs, Smeal College of Business
"Businesses and government agencies are under pressure from all sides to keep up with customer expectations and changes in the business landscape, but organizational change—particularly when conducted in silos — can be difficult," said Brian Cameron, faculty director of the program and associate dean for professional master's programs at Smeal. "Business architecture breaks down the silos to improve the success of change programs in businesses and government agencies."
The program is a collaboration between Penn State Executive Programs and the University's College of Information Sciences and Technology, affiliated with Forrester Research. In addition to the faculty director, Gordon Barnett, principal analyst serving enterprise architecture professionals at Forrester Research Inc., will serve as a faculty leader.
"Penn State Executive Programs is able to offer valuable courses by capitalizing on the expertise available both at Smeal and across the University," said Maria Taylor, director of Penn State Executive Programs. "It is these connections that allow us to provide timely education to executives looking to meet niche business needs."
To learn more about the program, including how to register, visit www.smeal.psu.edu/psep/open/bas/bas.
About Penn State Executive Programs
As part of the Smeal College of Business, Penn State Executive Programs builds leadership and organizational capabilities to address pressing business challenges. Open-enrollment programs for executives are offered in areas such as strategy and leadership, supply chain management and finance. Penn State Executive Programs also partners with major multinational organizations to deliver customized learning solutions. Learn more at www.smeal.psu.edu/psep.


text:
The badly decomposed body of the actress and model Margaux Hemingway, who was once described as the face of a generation, was discovered by friends on Monday in her home in Santa Monica, Calif., the police said. She was 41.
Santa Monica police investigators arrived at Ms. Hemingway's apartment at 1:52 P.M., said Sgt. Gary Gallinot, a department spokesman. Ms. Hemingway, a granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway, had not been seen since Friday, and friends were concerned, the sergeant said. He said there were no signs of forced entry or foul play.
A spokesman for the Los Angeles County coroner's office, Fred Corral, said yesterday that autopsy results would not be available for about two weeks but that a preliminary investigation pointed to death by "apparent natural causes," possibly linked to Ms. Hemingway's history of epilepsy. Ms. Hemingway had also struggled publicly with alcoholism and bulimia.
When Ms. Hemingway did not respond to phone calls or knocks on the door, friends asked a laborer working in the neighborhood to get a ladder so they could enter the home through a balcony, Sergeant Gallinot said. Ms. Hemingway had recently moved into the studio apartment near the beach.
Her agent, David Mirisch, told CNN that she had recently finished narrating a series on animals.
Tall, blond and glamorous, Ms. Hemingway achieved nearly instant renown in the 1970's as a supermodel. She began her career at the urging of a former husband, Errol Wetson, a film producer and a founder and former owner of the Wetson hamburger chain.Continue reading the main story
Joe Eula, the New York fashion artist, said in 1975 that Ms. Hemingway had "the face of a generation, as recognizable and memorable as Lisa Fonssagrives and Jean Shrimpton."
Later that year, she signed what The New Yorker called "the largest single advertising contract ever involving a female personality." The $1 million contract made her the spokeswoman for Babe, a fragrance line developed by Faberge.
She made her screen debut in "Lipstick" in 1976, opposite her younger sister, Mariel. The film, which received negative reviews, was about a young model who seeks vengeance after she is raped, then humiliated when a jury acquits the defendant. Ms. Hemingway's acting career faltered, while her sister fared better, appearing in films like Woody Allen's "Manhattan."
Ms. Hemingway was born in Portland, Ore., in 1955, the second of the three daughters of John Hadley and Byra Whitlock Hemingway. She was said to have changed her name from Margot when she learned that her parents drank Chateau Margaux on the night of her conception.
The family spent several years on Ernest Hemingway's farm in Cuba. They then moved to San Francisco, where her father was a stockbroker. In 1967, the family moved to mountainous Ketchum, Idaho, where Ernest Hemingway had committed suicide six years earlier.
Ms. Hemingway's two marriages, first to Mr. Wetson, then to Bernardo Faucher, a French-born film maker, ended in divorce.
In addition to her sister, she is survived by her father and stepmother.Continue reading the main story


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Discrimination is the ability to tell one thing from another thing. Discrimination is, in fact, a good thing. It stops you eating poisonous mushrooms along with good ones, it allows you to tell your own football team from the other football team on the pitch. It enables you to find Wally.daftbeaker wrote:Nick Griffin has stated that discrimination is a basic human right.
Fair enough. I can't stand fat cod-eyed Nazi wankers myself.
Unfair discrimination, on the other hand, is a bad thing. We have equalities legislation which protects nine characteristics: age; disability; gender reassignment; marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity; race; religion and belief; sex; and sexual orientation. If you judge that a man is better than a woman, or that an ethnically white person is superior to an ethnically African person, you have broken the law.
Never mind that you have 'discriminated against' someone: this is primarily a mathematical problem. Equality means being of the same value, if x=4 then x+2=6 just like 4+2=6. If you would let a heterosexual couple into your B&B, but you wouldn't let a homosexual couple into your B&B, you don't understand primary school arithmetic: you don't understand what equal means. You must treat both things as the same, or you are an idiot in both legal and arithmetical terms.
Nick Griffin cannot do primary school-level arithmetic. The man needs help. It is a recognised problem in the workforce, so would someone please refer him on to a decent adult education class?
Thank you.


text:
Program and Abstracts of the Annual Meeting - American Association of Pathologists and Bacteriologists
American Association of Pathologists and Bacteriologists., 1970 - Bacteriology
From inside the book
39 pages matching disease in this book
Where's the rest of this book?
Results 1-3 of 39
What people are saying - Write a review
We haven't found any reviews in the usual places.
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abnormalities acid activity adrenal allograft alterations animals antibody antigen appeared arteries autopsy biopsy blood brain Cancer carcinomas cartilage catalase cellular cerebral changes cholesterol clinical College of Medicine cortex cytoplasm demonstrated Department of Pathology developed diet disease doses electron microscopic endoplasmic reticulum endothelial endotoxin enzyme epithelial cells ethanol experimental ferritin fibers fibroblasts glomerular glomeruli glucagon glycogen Golgi granular granules guinea pigs hepatic histochemical histologic Hospital human increased induced infants inhibition injection kidney lesions light and electron light microscope lipid liver lung lymph node lymphocytes lysosomes malignant Medical Center metabolism metastases mice mitochondria morphologic muscle myelin necrosis neoplasms newborn normal nuclei observed patients peripheral PHA-M phenobarbital phosphatase present proliferation protein pulmonary rabbits rats reaction renal Research School of Medicine serum showed spleen spon stained structures studies Supported by USPHS syndrome synthesis thymectomy tubular tubules tumor ultrastructural University USPHS Grant vacuoles vascular vitro


text: Note: The use of many of these resources is governed by license agreements which restrict use to the GSU community and to individuals who use the GSU Libraries' facilities. Each user is responsible for limiting use to individual, noncommercial purposes, without systematically downloading or distributing substantial portions of information. The use of software such as scripts, agents or robots, is generally prohibited and may result in the loss of access to these resources for the entire GSU community.


text:
BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Share Thread
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 12:55 AM
Yes! Absolutely! I tremble with anticipation!
That photo you found with all the signs is amazing.
Some information you might find useful at some point: Penelope preferred weapons of choice for mortal combat are edged weapons. In short, dueling swords, rapiers, cutlasses, and she is well versed in their use. She is certainly capable of using firearms effectively, both long guns and handguns, but she does prefer blades. Though some women are known for using poison, Penelope wouldn't, because she would regard it as cowardly to do so.
Now, as regards the lizard men....Canada? Don't be silly! Sure, there are a few of them here, but the real centers of lizard power are London, New York, Washington D.C., Las Vegas, Paris, and Los Angeles....oh, and Rome.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 09:48 AM
They breed in Canada, LH. No one suspects that because no one expects anything like that of Canada and so they breed there. Visit, sometime, their underground incubators in Springhill, Pine Point, Eliot Lake, Greater Sudbury, Port Radium, or Uranium City (an incomplete list!).
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 10:04 AM
Penelope came about a quarter awake and heard an uncouth voice say, "You fool! You got the dame! Take her back and try again! And don't try to fool around with her!" and she went back to oblivion.
Sometime later she was being roughly shaken and she regained most of her consciousness, aware that she was laying down and was most uncomfortable. Chongx was doing the shaking and the barman was with him. The discomfort was caused by a none-too-clean cement floor.
"I sweat ta God, Chongx," the barman was pleading, "I thought it was you in the back room who told me ta bring in the Rutledge dame. You've know me for a long time -- would I ever cross you?"
"Chloroformed. How old fashioned!" said Chongx in amazement. "Can you sit up now?" he asked Penelope.
She sat at the dirty table in the middle of the dirty room and knew she was going to vomit. The barman got a dirty bucket and very soon she was wiping her lips with a piece of a dirty towel. Chongx handed her a glass with a green liquid in it that smelled of mint.
"Drink it. It's cream da ment. It'll help ya, I know."
She sipped the drink. It was creme de menthe and it did help.
Mentally, she took stock. To her surprise she could feel that everything in her waist pack was still there. She put her hand into her pocket and pulled something out.
"I want them, Chongx, I want them very badly. No one makes a Rutledge throw up." There was a click and suddenly she held a knife with a five inch blade. The single dirty light bulb glinted off the switchblade's very sharp point. If anyone had looked they would have seen her eyes were now cold, as cold as liquid nitrogen. The wrath of the Rutledges was about to descend upon the Windy City.
(There will be more and more and more driv...er, action packed episodes.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 01:09 PM
Upgraded to Windows 10, and turned off Cortana because I don't want that mealy-mouthed "assistant" reporting back to Mickeysoft about MOM.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 03:00 PM
Penelope has survived deadly encounters with evil Chinamen (think classic stuff like the Fu Manchu series), mad Arabs (Abdul Alhazred?), lascivious Scottish poets (Malcolm Buggerol), enraged Frenchwomen (Angelique Forget), and all manner of uncouth scoundrels in exotic locales. I'm sure she can manage this situation.
Poor Amos. I know he is secretly in love with Penelope Rutledge, seeing in her his ideal woman. He must be going through agonies of concern at this point...
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 09:57 PM
The bartender gasped. "Switchblades are illegal!" he exclaimed.
"So is the cosh in your back pocket. So is this (she trained the Beretta on his stomach), for which I had to pull a few strings to bring with me," replied Penelope.
Chongx gazed at the knife, fascinated by the cold steel. And she seemed to know how to use it. "You're quite a dame," he observed.
"I'm a Rutledge. I was trained to shoot by my grandfather, General Sir Arthur Rutledge, VC. He also sent me to what he called 'advanced training' with a lady named Modesty Blaise. Her friend Willie Garvin taught me to throw knives." Suddenly the switchblade was buried in the opposite wall, smack in the middle of the "C" in the logo of a Chicago Cubs poster.
"I'm a Rutledge, and some scum kidnapped me, said I was the wrong one, and threw me back in here. I'm a Rutledge, and I want their scrotums as pouches for my earrings. And I want my niece, Veronica." And she turned the icy stare on Chongx.
The bartender excused himself and very hurriedly left the room.
"Well, about that," Chongx said diffidently, gazing everywhere but at her. "She's gone. She got away for Renata and I think she's headed for Slim Thing. Why I don't know."
"Ten grand, as you Yanks say." Another knife appeared, aimed at Chongx's crotch. "Ten thousand US dollars. Rutledges get full value for their money."
Chongx somehow knew that he couldn't move fast enough to prevent damage to what he held dear. "You're some dame," he said lamely.
"I'm a Rutledge. Now, let's go get Veronica." And she suddenly stood up and the knife disappeared. She walked to the other side of the room, pulled the first knife from the wall, and it too disappeared. "Come on, let's GO."
(Stand by for the next thrilling installment)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Jun 16 - 10:01 PM
Ah, yes, heroic stuff indeed. And the story rolls on.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 16 - 08:47 AM
The bar was even more seedy than the previous one, if that were possible. It looked as if you could be infected with twelve loathsome diseases just by looking at it.
"Veronica is here?" asked Penelope in amazement.
"Yeah, if I guessed right," replied the ape.
"I think I want to wear protective clothing to go in there," she murmured.
The front door slammed open and a very drunken man and a woman with obviously dyed red hair stumbled out laughing. He was slobbering on her neck and she was fondling him.
Penelope glanced, then her head jerked back. "Veronica!" she said in a commanding tone. "Veronica!"
(More to come....)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Jun 16 - 10:41 AM
You never know with that crazy girl. Just goes to show what way too much money and way too much idle time can do, specially with Uncle Winston buying her a new Porsche every time the old one ends up in a pond or wrapped around a lamp post. Winston tends to be hard on most people, but he has proven to be an utter failure at disciplining Veronica. A most vexing situation.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 16 - 10:33 PM
Winston doesn't do anything anymore. Penelope put a round in each barrel of the 700 Nitro Express and asked him to "Please check to be sure it's not loaded. I'd do it but I don't know anything about such things." As she expected, he looked down the barrels of the double rifle and pulled the triggers. There wasn't enough left for reconstruction and the police report said it was an "unfortunate accident." Because of its history, family connection, etc. Penelope was allowed to keep the gun. As Penelope said, "He was a rotter, and now he's rotting."
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 16 - 10:38 PM
FYI: .700 Nitro Express.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 09:37 AM
Veronica sobered, the drunk she was with still pawing her. "Aunt Penelope!" she exclaimed.
"WHAT are you doing, child? Look at you!" shouted Penelope, losing her temper. "I thought you came over here for a job caring for children!"
"So?" Veronica shrugged. "The more sucker you." She batted the drunk's hands away from her crotch and continued, "You have always run my life! You sent me to the best schools, give me a generous allowance, bought me a Ferrari, a Lamborghini, whatever I asked! BITCH!" The last word was stabbed out with a particular venom.
She ranted on: "You and Uncle Winston! That perverted little bastard always sniffing around me like a horny dog, wanting to dress me, wanting me to put a diaper on him and push hem around in that oversized pram he keeps in the old stable, and then change his frigging (this isn't the exact word she used) diaper! And you married him and he's still sucking on your teats for money and everything!"
"Winston's dead," said Peneloped, quietly.
"What?" blinked Veronica in a lower tone.
"Shu gonnafax er do I tel Shlim shu shtiffed me?" muttered the drunk. "C'mon yu kin tak widdat bitsh later."
Veronica turned and kneed him in the groin with such force he was lifted an inch or more off the ground. He fell, unconscious.
"What happened to Winston, your lovey-dovey Winston?" asked Veronica bitterly.
"An accident with Uncle Simon's double rifle in the gun room," stated Penelope with a knowing wink at Veronica. "And I was long aware of his...indiscretions...but did not know of him 'sniffing around' you. I assume it was when I was away in London or somewhere on the business of the family. I most humbly apologise, dear."
Two large men appeared in the doorway, obviously bouncers, who asked, "Waddhell's goin' on out here?" The Beretta, this time equipped with a silencer, "fwipped" twice and both were dead before they knew it. The gun disappeared again.
"Aunt Penelope! You shot them! Slim Thing is going to be very, very angry!"
Penelope gazed at her niece. "Veronica, do you want to stay here or go home to Blighty? If you stay, I shall stop your allowance and disown you. Come back and you can start over. I shall see you get the best anger management treatment, medical treatment, and then you can decide what you want to do with your life."
Veronica stood, indecisive. Chongx said, "You better hurry up and decide, cuz in a minute or two there are gonna be enough goons out here to make up an army."
Veronica turned and saw her reflection in the mirror of a car. She gasped and said quietly, "Let's go."
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 10:07 AM
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 12:52 PM
Chongo: "Boy, I tell ya, when ol' Raparree sets about to writin' a crime noir story, he don't pull no punches. This stuff is like a mix of Mickey Spillane crossed with the Sam Spade stories. Not bad at all. And he never lets the truth get in the way of spinnin' a good tale. I guess all them years of bein' a librarian wasn't the total waste for him that I figgered it would be. The part I like best is the part where I disassemble and clean the 1911 gun. Yessir, that was a tour de force, as the French would say. Ook! Ook!"
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 01:00 PM
Chongo (again): "As for the Rutledge dame, that one can do whatever she decides to, see, 'cause she has enough money to buy haffa Manhattan, plus the wit to stay calm and focused on the main objective in spite of it. Them kind are pretty much unstoppable. The law can't touch 'em. They got too many connections. This proves to me that humans ain't a total waste of space on this planet. You never know, they might yet evolve into a species with real possibilities..."
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 06:04 PM
...unlike certain fur-bearing, buck-toothed, foul-smelling bipeds I could mention.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 10:37 PM
All Chongo fans should read Yann Martel's latest book, The High Mountains of Portugal. Chimpanzees are prominently featured. Though none of them drink rye, wear fedoras, or shoot .44s, they also don't fling poop.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 10:44 PM
I suspect it is a matter of they haven't been observed flinging poop.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 16 - 11:08 PM
The three moved quickly away, not so rapidly as to attract attention but quickly. Veronica was the first to notice Chongx's absence and she mentioned it to her aunt.
Penelope pointed to roof and then fire escape of a building across the street. A short, hairy figure in a fedora was swinging along, grasping whatever seemed handy. Once it stopped and looked back at them, then continued.
"Flank guard, I suppose," said Penelope.
They reached Cicero Avenue and Penelope flagged a cab. The figure on the rooftop waved goodbye and vanished.
"Omni, please, and hurry," Penelope told the driver. He shrugged and took off for the Loop.
Penelope sat back and looked at Veronica. "We'll talk, eventually," she said. "But first let's get you cleaned up, have a good dinner, and a sound night's sleep."
At the hotel they went immediately to Penelope's room and once inside Veronica flopped into one of the easy chairs and began to sob. Penelope said nothing, knowing that the sobs were a reaction to recent events. Finally, the crying stopped and Veronica said, "I think I'd like to take a long, hot shower."
"Help yourself," said Penelope, "the bath is in the room to the left. There are two beds in the bedroom of this suite, one of them is yours. You'll find some nice, fluffy, bathrobes in the closet in the bathroom. And Veronica...if you need a sleeping aid I have some."
"Thank you, Aunt Penelope," replied Veronica sincerely.
(Let them sleep. Chongx is in deep trouble.)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 12:16 AM
Well, he is fond of saying "trouble is my middle name".
Now, let's see, Rap. You have arbitrarily killed off 2 of my main characters. (Winston Wellington-Jones and Hector Ballsworthy) You have caused another main character, the esteemed Ms Rutledge to commit 4 murders, albeit one of them offscreen.
This means you already owe me so much in reparations that it will take you another 3 lifetimes just to BEGIN paying them off!
And meanwhile I shall, of course, simply resurrect the characters, as happens in fiction and video games.
I look forward to receiving your first $10,000 installment at the beginning of July.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 10:41 AM
My killin's aren't arbitrary. Anyone I kill needs killin'.
Now, "Bad Penny Rutledge" kills for the pleasure of seeing those she considers her adversaries dead. Only a psychopath or sociopath or a psychotic sociopath kills for pleasure.
But let us rejoin Chongx on the rooftops as he shows up in the crosshairs of a rifle sight.
The gunman squeeeezed the trigger and Chongx fell, fortunately onto the roof. His last thoughts were that he was glad that the two chickadees had managed to fly away without being glommed on.
He slowly, slowly, awakened, somehow aware of pain in his hip and that his wrists and legs were manacled or something. Somehow he knew he was in a basement or anyway underground somewhere. He'd been on a roof. It was confusing.
Then a cold, wet, towel viciously smacked both sides of his face and he was fully awake.
The first thing he saw was Slim Thing, bending over him and so angry he was spitting with each word.
"YOU cost me a dame twice! A genuine high-class dame! YOU shot two of my goons! You cost me the value of a roll with the dame, not to mention what we would have taken from the john's pockets! Now you are going to tell me where she is and who the other dame is so we can set up a twofer for the really flush suckers!
"Don't know," murmured Chongx. "Hip hurts. Handcuffs...too tight."
"Yer leg irons are pretty tight too. Yer gonna hurt even more real quick if you don't tell me where they are."
"Can't. No idea," replied the ape.
"You sure? Well, in that case I think we'll have someone very special see if you can be made to talk." He called out someone behind hime, "Okay, we do it the hard way."
A door opened and Renata walked in.
"He's yours," said Slim Thing. "Make him talk."
"With pleasure," murmured Renata, sliding her hands down her leather-clad hips. "With pleasure, and with pain."
(Oh Boy!! You can't wait, can you? Don't you wish you knew what happens next? Stop slobbering in anticipation -- it's unsightly.)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 12:23 PM
Oh, for heaven's sake...
I am reminded of the scene in the Woody Allen film where he is standing in the movie lineup with Dianne Keaton and he gets in an argument with the blabbering, pretentious fool standing behind them who claims he knows all about Marshall McLuhan because he teaches a University course on McLuhan....and Woody Allen says, "It so happens I have Marshall McLuhan right here."
Rap, it so happens I have Renata and Chongo right here, and you know what Renata says?
This: "You know nothing of Little Hawk's characters! Your attempts to depict them in dramatic prose fall way wide of the mark, and make me wonder how you could ever imagine yourself to be capable of writing about them at all? And you say you were a librarian? No wonder the nation's libraries are falling into disuse! But, by all means, continue acquainting us with the dark visions that haunt your addled little mind. I'm sure it will be quite useful research material for Herr Liebenscheiss when he takes on the job of giving you some sorely needed psychoanalysis."
And what does Chongo say?
This: "He's a hopeless bozo. Don't pay no mind to his silly ramblin's 'cause they don't add up to a flyspeck on a shithouse wall."
(I was wondering, though, when you would bring "Renata" properly into the story. Your version of her, I mean... And who is Slim Thing based on? Your first wife?)
And is anyone except me reading your tale?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 02:20 PM
Well, I am. And I gae a great gurgle of delight to read of Chongo finally catching some of his due in the form of that high-powered rifle bullet. Really, he is a very offensive little brute, according to Penelope herself, who shared this opinion with me during a session of pillow-talk just down the hall from where Veronica was sleeping it off. She showed up wearing one of those fluffy white bathrobes the Omni provides, but decided it was too warm.
Just so ya know, man...
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 05:47 PM
Chongo has always regarded you as offensive too, Amos, but not in regards to your personal style or comportment or anything like that. Rather, in regards to your obvious specism, your hatred of apes and monkeys, and it is that unfortunate aspect of your otherwise fine character that will probably result in you being placed on the "special list" of individuals to be dealt with by the Primate Justice Department (PJD) following Chongo's inauguration next January. Rap, of course, has been on that list for years, and will be the first to be arrested.
I know how much you lust after Penelope, Amos, and I do sympathize, but you are not the first to have met complete frustration along that line of fantasy. No, they number in the thousands. So get back near the end of the line, my good man, and be prepared to wait, probably until Hell freezes over, Donald Trump becomes humble, and Hillary Clinton grows a heart...meaning....never.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 07:44 PM
I am not reading Rap's tale. Rap pretending to be Little Hawk pretending to be an ape or a dissolute aristocrat is a step too far removed from reality to suit my taste. It's like lining up two really distorted fun house mirrors so each reflects the other, standing between them, and trying not to throw up your funnel cake.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 09:02 PM
Ha! Ha! That does sound like an activity not worth the bother, Bee-dub.
Okay, we get it. You're above all this fooferaw. Fine. Be off with you, then.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 09:14 PM
"Renata? What does my ass and my head hurt?"
"Tranquilizer dart, lover boy. Slim Thing wanted you alive for some reason. Oh! I remember now! He wants to know where the broads are stashed. Seems like you offended him, shooting a couple of his goons and running off with one of his stable," explained Renata.
"Drugged. Yeah, that would explain it. I thought I had a hangover and fell down," said Chongx.
"Like usual. Only this time I'm not going to feed you Bloody Marys to help you get over it. I told you what would happen if I caught you fooling around on the side again."
"But I haven't! I mean, she's a client! There's the ten grand she paid me in my pants pocket! Check!"
He felt her hand searching his pocket in that old familiar way. She clenched her fist and withdrew her hand.
"Why looky here! There must be seven or eight grand here! I think I just won the prize!" And she took her purse off the table and put the bills in it.
Chongx was stressed even more when he saw her withdraw a hypodermic kit. He asked, "You ain't mainlinin' again are you? I thought you...."
"Shaddap!" said Renata. "No, this ain't for me, lover boy. It's for you." And she started tapping the end of the needle on the brick wall. "In a Chicago sub-basement, you know nobody can hear you scream."
There is a myth in the military of "the dull, square needle in the left nut." It's not true; the military hasn't been able to get any square needles for years, much less blunt ones. But the thought crossed Chongx's mind as he lay there, chained down, watching his former...friend....
The door opened with a jolt and an older man of medium height, wearing a bright green zoot suit and a white Panama hat entered. Chongx noted that it was a real zoot suit and newly tailored. The visitor put his hand on Renata possessively and said, "Renata. Ixnay the eedlenay. We will try other ways, but thank you. You have been a wonderful help in all of this. Now be a good girl and go upstairs and entertain yourself."
She left and the man said, "Chong' ol' boy, I don't believe we've met. I'm Slim Thing. Not my real name, of course, but what that is doesn't matter. But one of my bims is gone and you had something to do with it. I'd like her back, but not very much; she wasn't bringing it in like she should so she was a flop. I'll let her go. But I don't like rubes like you screwing up my racket. No, I don't like that at all.
"Can I go to the can?" asked Chongx.
"No. You're going to lay there for a while. The boys will feed you and water you -- a baby bottle for safety and baby food. But as for getting up and running around, no. We'll hose off the slab you're laying on now and then, though."
"Bast..." said Chongx through clenched teeth.
Slim Thing slapped him and said, "We don't use such language here. I try to run a high-class speak."
He left. Chongx sighed and accepted the situation. There was nothing else he could do for the moment, and in a few more minutes he was much more comfortable.
(Whatever will happen next? Remember, this happened in 2018.)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 10:10 PM
You've definitely got Renata confused with someone else, maybe a family member or maybe some nasty skank you dated back in your military days...anyway that's not Renata. She's a well educated lawyer, and she doesn't talk like a gangster moll. What I mean is, she doesn't say "ain't".
However, I'm glad you've found something to occupy your mind.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 10:32 PM
I know quite a few women lawyers who say, "Ain't." Some of them are rather well known in their respective fields. Of course, in court or classroom they ain't sayin' ain't.
A woman scorned can change, change utterly, and a terrible beauty is born. Remember too, this is what happened in 2018, not 2016. The happenings of 2016 are still to come; 2018 has happened.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jun 16 - 10:48 PM
Renata has not been scorned. Not in 2018, and not now either. You, sir, are experiencing hallucinations, possibly due to over-medication with some kind of intoxicants. I recommend drinking several glasses of water and getting some rest.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 01:58 AM
Your delusions about Penelope's selectiveness is amusing, but nonetheless. Seems you didn't read my post earlier about our little pillow-talk thing. Never mind. My fond and overheated memories do not need your approval. Nohow.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 09:28 AM
Nor do my characters need your unfounded boasting about your fictional conquests. You're behaving like some kid in high school who goes around telling all his buddies that he laid the girl on the cheerleading squad when she actually can't stand him and he never even got to kiss her. For shame, sir! Fie!
(Amazing how we spend our time here, isn't it? :D )
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 10:22 AM
Penelope and a contrite -- truly contrite! -- Veronica waited in the VIP Lounge at O'Hare. A rather high-ranking member of the British Consulate in Chicago waited with them.
Veronica, her once mid-back length locks now much shortened and styled, was wearing a dress suitable for visiting the Queen. She was reticent, having been diagnosed the day before with a "social disease" picked up during her recent adventures; fortunately it was curable by a course of heavy-duty antibiotics.
The Counsel-General spoke. "Lady Rutledge, you will be taken onto the aeroplane without problems -- I personally assure that. Miss Veronica will also have no questions asked of her. Upon landing at Gatwick you and your niece will be escorted through Customs and a car will be waiting to take you home." He smiled. "Consider this a gift from Her Majesty, and please remember me to her when you can."
Two airport policemen entered and approached the trio. One spoke. "Pardon me, but are you Penelope Rutledge?"
"Yes, I am, officer."
"You dropped your passport."
Penelope was startled. She took the gold and burgundy booklet, flipped through it to assure herself it was indeed hers, and thanked the officer. She offered a reward but it was refused with a "Just our duty, Ma'am." The officers left.
"Oh my," said Penelope. "It must have fallen from my pocket."
"Or was taken, and the thief taken. I'll be certain to follow through on this. In the meantime, I see that the Captain is here. Shall I help you with your baggage and see you to your seats?"
"Yes, thank you," replied Penelope.
The entourage bypassed the boarding Gate, of course, and when they were settled into their First Class/VIP seats and thank-yous and goodbyes had been said, Veronica spoke.
"Aunt Penelope, I've been a fool. A fool with this latest and I've fooled away much of my life. I've been a selfish, self-centereed, brat. I've been a taker and I am now determined to change. I've toyed with the idea, and I am determined to convert to Roman Catholicism and become a nun."
"WHAT??!!" asked Penelope, louder than she had intended.
"Yes. I want to enter an order which works with the very poor and ill. I feel that I must make up for my past. And Auntie -- I'm very serious about this. It isn't a whim."
"Very well, if you are certain. I have friends in Vatican City and...."
"No, Aunt Penelope. I must do this on my own. I only ask your blessing on this new life I am determined to enter."
"Very well. We're taxiing, so right now let's sit back and enjoy the ride home."
(A cloister nun? Veronica? Yes! Sister Mary Veronica of the Tears of the Repentant Magdalen now resides in a convent in the Pyrenees. Most of her day is spent in prayer and reflection in the Chapel. Her aunt was amazed, to say the least.)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 11:51 AM
I'm still not reading Rap's tale, but I am reading the intervening comments by Little Hawk and Amos. Watching them pretend to get their panties in a wad is somewhat amusing.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 02:26 PM
I'm not reading that crap either.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 06:28 PM
It is either the Yamato or the Musashi. Have seen this photo already many times, but not usually in color, so it must have been colorised. The stern is not damaged, it simply looks odd because of several ships boats in the water next to it and various other objects on the deck area at the back, which is one level lower than the main deck. The large pale areas are tarps put out for shade from the hot sun....those decks would have been hot as hell when anchored on a sunny day.
Wrong comment!
I did write a lengthy and supremely brilliant comment that actually had to do with this thread....I wrote it hours ago...and I tried to submit it over and over again...at least 10 times...by copying and pasting it..by reloading this F-ing page and pasting it yet again! And so on...and on...and on...
It never went through.
I am now trying again, but I find something else entirely in my buffer or whatever it is, so the original thing I wrote has been lost for all time and has been replaced by something I said more recently about the battleship Yamato on Facebook.
Mudcat, go screw yourself.
And you who are too special to read all this fooferaw, go screw yourselves too.
Now, let's see if THAT gets through.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 06:31 PM
It did. Just as I suspected...this site doesn't work when you actually WANT it to, but sometimes it does when you don't particularly care. Kind of like the American political system.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 06:39 PM
Screw you too.
And screw George. He is mowing as it hasn't rained for five hours. Before that, it was wet and cold (10C) for four days and his golf green lawn grew 1/4", tops. Tomorrow, 18C and sunny so he'll be mowing again on Saturday. The man definitely needs to take a course on the fine art of procrastination.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 08:04 PM
1. Go get some weedkiller (a small bottle of ready-mixed will do).
2. In the dark of the night, sneak out onto his lawn.
3. Close to the street, spray the weedkiller (using the "stream" setting) to spell the word "F**K."
4. A few feet closer write the word "You."
5. This way the words can be read from his front windows.
6. Go home.
7. Dispose of the weedkiller properly.
Let me know when this is completely, as I have to make a few phone calls then.
LH: It's the Musashi. The Yamato was abducted by an alien spaceship.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 09:50 PM
Weedkiller? Have you not been paying attention? His golf green lawn has been weedkilled over and over and over. He even spreads the shit on my lawn as far as "he can get away with it".
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 11:16 PM
Think of that in the middle of his front lawn. Dead grass in his golf-green style lawn.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 11:20 PM
Okay, then...what you need to do is get a spray can of bright yellow paint and do what Rap suggested with THAT. That oughta get his attention, yeah? :)
I don't particularly care about this post, so I bet it will get through.
Let's see if I'm right.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 16 - 11:38 PM
This could work day and night....
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 10:21 AM
Two days had passed. Chongx, chained to a platform, had been fed, watered, and hosed clean several times.
Door opened and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen entered.
"Chong'," she breathed. "You don't know how long I've waited to meet you."
"Who...you?" said Chongx, stumbling over his words and his voice rising on the last word.
"Does it matter, loverboy?"
"Can...get me free?" It seemed like his voice wasn't working in the presence of this dame.
"Oh, no! I just wanted to come in to meet you again. But I do have some good news."
"Wassdat? Meet me agin?"
"Yes...you see...." The door opened again and the man came in, this time wearing a purple zoot suit. Renata followed.
"Have you told him yet?" Slim Thing asked (for it was he in zoot suits).
"No. You came in too early, fool."
"I told you so," said Renata. Slim Thing looked chagrined and slightly fearful.
"But since we are all here, I'll make it a grand announcement. But, are they treating you alright, Chong'?"
"I'm fed baby food by a chump with a spoon and a rod. I have to pee and poop all over myself and I'm hosed off for a cleanup. I have to put up with Slim Thing's choice of clothes. I seem to be in a sub-basement in Chicago. But otherwise t'ings are just hunky-dory," Chongx said bitterly.
"Good. That's just the way I ordered it."
In amazement Chongx asked, "YOU ordered it? Takin' the girl, droppin' me with dope, all of it?"
"Yes. I disliked losing those people no matter, but no matter. Their families are being taken care of; I don't bind the mouth of the kine who tread the grain. But that's not why I flew in. It was because of you. You see -- no, you don't, it's been too long -- my name is Chinga and I'm your twin sister."
At this Chongx felt the world fall out from under. Chinga! She'd last been seen in the jungles of West Africa with his mother, both of them sobbing because Chongx was leaving, using the rest of the money raised by selling their "services" to passers-by.
"Yes, indeed. I'm your loving sister, flesh of the same mother as you are." Renata smirked.
His tough-guy bravado shaken, he asked, his voice in the higher registers, "Wha...what are you going to do to me?"
"Why, feed you and clean up after you and even loosen the chains enough so you can move around the room, use the bathroom. Even medical care. If you are good, of course. It's actually a rather nice, though spartan, suite down here in the sub-sub-basement. And I know you'll be good."
"I'll escape first chance I git!" Slim Thing and Renata seemed to be ready to explode with laughter. "What're you two laughing at?"
"Tell 'im!" said Renata, chortling.
"Yes, do!" said Slim Thing.
"All right." Chinga turned back to her sibling, then addressed Renata. "Better get the doc in first."
Renata,giggling, opened the door and a gentleman entered. You knew at once that he was a physician, and a good one.
Chinga continued, "There we were, me and mom, sold into whoring by our own blood." Chongx squirmed, started say something, didn't. "Mom died of shame soon after you left and I was, shall we say, a trifle miffed by your actions. I swore that you would die. Flaying alive crossed my mind, as did a million more ways over the next years. Oh, I read of your adventures. Yes, I followed your career, from being fired for eating too many of the bananas you were supposed to be inventorying to your last caper with those two from Old Blighty. I researched your entire life right up to this moment, and dear Renata has been a great help these last few years -- thank you, love! And my revenge will soon be complete. Only a couple more days, and we can afford to let you up and around -- gotta get those muscles working again!"
The others in the room waited expectantly for some denouement or other.
"You may have noticed your voice has been cracking recently. My research, and it's been quite thorough!, tells me it isn't because of whisky and cigars. By the look on your face I can reassure you -- it's not cancer.
No, you're reverting! The surgery you had in West Africa, dear sister, wasn't very good by today's standards. You genes are taking over again. Haven't you noticed your nipples are sore? Ah, I see you have! Yes, you're going through puberty again, dear sister! But it'll only take two or three more days and you will be the woman you were intended to be. And I've made sure you have the best of care during this trying time of your life."
Chonga -- her real name -- fainted from this news from her twin sister.
She came to again, aware of the four in the room. A man's voice said, "She's okay now" and the doctor moved away from the patient changed to the platform.
"Wha...what...what's going to happen to me...when it's over?" asked Chonga.
Chinga repied, "Why, I'll see you get a job, of course! Big sister will take care of you. You'll be working for me and I think you'll rise in the ranks pretty quickly. Of course, we have to make it look good so you'll have to start at the bottom."
Chonga: Bottom? Delivering the mail or something to the offices? Stock clerk?
Chinga: Oh my, no! It's not that kind of business! You'll start on your back or on your knees, like all the other girls in my stable! Dear, dear sister, I run high-class establishments which are known as 'brothels.' Renata started that way, and now she's one of my more trusted executives. And so will you. And for now we must leave you to think about the changes going on in your body and what your future holds. But we'll be visiting you now and then. Toodle-o!
And the four left.
Chonga, still dazed from the news, started to sob.
(But what, you ask, of Hector Ballsworthy? of Penelope Rutledge? These loose ends will be tied up soon!)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 12:06 PM
I need a refresher. I think it's time for a William MacGonagall poem.
A Tale of Christmas Eve
'Twas Christmastide in Germany,
And in the year of 1850,
And in the city of Berlin, which is most beautiful to the eye;
A poor boy was heard calling out to passers-by.
"Who'll buy my pretty figures," loudly he did cry,
Plaster of Paris figures, but no one inclined to buy;
His clothes were thin and he was nearly frozen with cold,
And wholly starving with hunger, a pitiful sight to behold.
And the twilight was giving place to the shadows of approaching night,
And those who possessed a home were seeking its warmth and light;
And the market square was dark and he began to moan,
When he thought of his hungry brother and sisters at home.
Alas! The poor boy was afraid to go home,
Oh, Heaven! hard was his lot, for money he'd none;
And the tears coursed down his cheeks while loudly he did cry,
"Buy my plaster of Paris figures, oh! please come buy."
It was now quite dark while he stood there,
And the passers-by did at the poor boy stare,
As he stood shivering with cold in the market square;
And with the falling snow he was almost frozen to the bone.
And what would it avail him standing there alone,
Therefore he must make up his mind to return home.
Then he tried to hoist the board and figures on to his head,
And for fear of letting the board fall he was in great dread;
Then he struggled manfully forward without delay,
But alas! He fell on the pavement, oh! horror and dismay.
And his beautiful figures were broken and scattered around him,
And at the sight thereof his eyes grew dim;
And when he regained his feet he stood speechless like one bowed down,
Then the poor boy did fret and frown.
Then the almost despairing boy cried aloud,
And related his distress to the increasing crowd;
Oh! What a pitiful sight on a Christmas eve,
But the dense crowd didn't the poor boy relieve,
Until a poor wood-cutter chanced to come along,
And he asked of the crowd what was wrong;
And twenty ready tongues tells him the sad tale,
And when he heard it the poor boy's fate he did bewail.
And he cried, "Here! Something must be done and quickly too,
Do you hear! Every blessed soul of you;
Come, each one give a few pence to the poor boy,
And it will help to fill his heart with joy."
Then the wood-cutter gave a golden coin away,
So the crowd subscribed largely without delay;
Which made the poor boy's heart feel gay,
Then the wood-cutter thanked the crowd and went away.
So the poor boy did a large subscription receive,
And his brother, mother, and sisters had a happy Christmas eve;
And he thanked the crowd and God that to him the money sent,
And bade the crowd good-night, then went home content.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 03:34 PM
Much as I admire the stunning butchery of her scansion, the tortured inversions and abortions of her rhyme schemes, and the almost inimitable lackluster of her pedestrian imagery, I would like to ask Little Hawk not to post anymore of those poems. They offend my sensibilities.
As for Rapparree's revelations concerning Chinga and Chongx, I am most amazed at his authorial vision, the deftness of his plot development (despite certain obvious flaws in development and stylistic gaps). I think Little Hawk will be hard put to continue his insistence about Chongx's origins and will finally have to face up to the twisted immoralities that have hitherto been so thinly disguised in the monkey's backstory.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 03:55 PM
And now the century is in line
With fifty-three five ninety nine.
And who shall claim the hundred trick
By posting 53 and six?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 03:56 PM
Alas, the other write too slow!
Their pale ambitions are laid low.
The poster--may he soon grow famous--
Is Mom's first son, the awesome Amos!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 04:13 PM
And now he all embarrassed grows
At seeing words he has just thundered
And finding typos and, as well,
Miscounting posts by an even hundred!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 16 - 07:39 PM
I was so moved by that last MacGonagall masterpiece that I can only follow it by posting another one...
Little Popeet: The Lost Child
Near by the silent waters of the Mediterranean,
And at the door of an old hut stood a coloured man,
Whose dress was oriental in style and poor with wear,
While adown his furrowed cheeks ran many a tear.
And the poor coloured man seemed very discontent,
And his grief overcame him at this moment;
And he wrung his hands in agony wild,
And he cried, "Oh! help me, great God, to find my child."
"And Ada, my dear wife, but now she is dead,
Which fills my poor heart with sorrow and dread;
She was a very loving wife, but of her I'm bereft,
And I and my lost child are only left.
And, alas! I know not where to find my boy,
Who is dear to me and my only joy;
But with the help of God I will find him,
And this day in search of him I will begin."
So Medoo leaves Turkey and goes to France,
Expecting to find his boy there perhaps by chance;
And while there in Paris he was told
His boy by an Arab had been sold
To a company of French players that performed in the street,
Which was sad news to hear about his boy Popeet;
And while searching for him and making great moan,
He was told he was ill and in Madame Mercy's Home.
Then away went Medoo with his heart full of joy,
To gaze upon the face of his long-lost boy;
Who had been treated by the players mercilessly,
But was taken to the home of Madame Celeste.
She was a member of the players and the leader's wife,
And she loved the boy Popeet as dear as her life,
Because she had no children of her own;
And for the poor ill-treated boy often she did moan.
And when Popeet's father visited the Home,
He was shown into a room where Popeet lay alone,
Pale and emaciated, in his little bed;
And when his father saw him he thought he was dead.
And when Popeet saw his father he lept out of bed,
And only that his father caught him he'd been killed dead;
And his father cried, " Popeet, my own darling boy,
Thank God I've found you, and my heart's full of joy."
Then Madame Mercy's tears fell thick and fast,
When she saw that Popeet had found his father at last;
Then poor Popeet was taken home without delay,
And lived happy with his father for many a day.


text: Founded in the 80s by innovative designer Isaac Manevtiz, Ben Amun is a luxury jewellery label. The brand creates elegant, gorgeous products for the style-conscious woman. Hand-crafted and with stunning designs, the Ben Amun jewellery range is full of covetable items. The Ben Amun earrings collection boasts a variety of products that will complement any outfit. From elegant cuffs to sophisticated drop styles and studs, the collection features gorgeous, envy-inducing stones. Beautifully crafted, these earrings will become firm favourites in your jewellery box.


text:
Interact with a community of likeminded imagineeers
To never miss a vital call
Access to a community of over 45,000+ imagineeers to collaborate with, buy from, sell and socialize with
Printing capability from every desk & IT Help instantly
Receptionist when needed
High-speed Wi-Fi
Secretaries available
1-month security deposit & Global Network
Business Hours
Use any available desk – just bring your laptop and get to work. First come, best spot.
Over 45,000 Community of imagineeers to collaborate with, buy from, sell and socialise with.
2 vouchers per month in any global location:
1 Voucher = ¥125 value
A desk of your own in a shared space with views, natural light and like-minded people.
Over 45,000 Community of imagineeers to collaborate with, buy from, sell and socialise with.
5 Vouchers per month in any global location:
1 Voucher = ¥125 value
Fully furnished, sound rated, private and secure.
Over 40,000 Community of imagineeers to collaborate with, buy from, sell and socialise with.
12 Vouchers per month (non-cumulative) to use on ad hoc services, for example:
1 Voucher = ¥125 value
Guangzhou International Finance Center (IFC) a prime grade building comprises of 103 floors plus4 basement levels in Zhujiang New Town, the heart of Guangzhou's financial services center. It is safe to say that Guangzhou IFC is the most Iconic business address in Southern China. Designed by renowned architect Wilkinson Eyre,
this 438.6 m (1,439 ft) skyscraper is prominent landmark on the Guangzhou skyline
Guangzhou IFC offers mixed use space across 100 plus floors, including commercial office space, the luxury Four Seasons Hotel with it's high-end top-floor restaurant and bar and is the world's tallest constructed diagrid structure, expressed through the building's transparent envelope. Its triangular plan responds to the need for efficient internal space layouts and excellent environmental performance. At ground level, the tower connects with a substantial podium complex containing a luxury brand retail mall, spacious gourmet food hall and numerous cafes and high-quality serviced apartments. It was named 2011 Best Tall Building Asia/Australasia by the Council of Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat and in 2012, and was awarded the RIBA Lubetkin Prize.
Located directly above Zhujiang New Town station, Guangzhou IFC also boasts excellent transport connections with easy access to the subway, buses and taxi rank on the doorstep.
IFC acts as a landmark to Guangzhou's main axis, linking the commercial district in the north with the Pearl River to the south, making the most of sweeping city and Pearl River views. It is a short stroll to Canton Tower, Guangzhou Library, the Opera House, the Guangdong Museum, Mall of the World, Pearl River, US Consulate General of Guangzhou and a myriad of Guangzhou's attractions, 5-star hotels and business focal points.
Building occupants include Allianz, BIOSTIME, Guangzhou Securities and an impressive list of law firms and financial institutions, banks, consulates and major players in the mechanical industry.
Only 40 minutes drive from Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport.
Take Subway Line 3 or 5 and alight at Zhujiang New Town, take Exit G
There are many buses to Guangzhou IFC: 20, 40, 293, 886, 777, 778
Ask if they have unique-password, rocket-fast WiFi – For your security.
Ask to be connected to the internet – How long does it take?
Ask if the provider is Tier-1.
Ask to be allowed to check download speeds.
Ask to speak to IT support: Are they in-house or a third party? Are they even in the country?
Ask to be given a phone number so you can try the service before you buy.
Ask for a phone rate card.
Ask to meet your dedicated receptionist. The receptionist is the front line of your business.
Ask about disaster transfer.
Ask if your phone extension can roam at no cost to other locations.
Ask if the wireless internet is secure.
Ask what kind of firewall can be set up for your network.
Ask to see the transparency code of the provider.
Ask if incoming callers can dial '1' for voicemail to mobile.
Ask if you can get free calls equal to your connection amount.
Ask if your phone bill is 20% lower than telco rate.
Servcorp Guangzhou IFC offices are located on the sky rise level 54.
Level 54 features glorious artwork depicting China magnificent landscapes and brilliant culture by renowned artist Mr. Hu Hui.
Facilities include:
• Bi-lingual team of four to support your IT and Admin needs on demand
• Large granite reception area & Waiting Area & Business Lounge with panoramic views of Guangzhou
• Day suites (1-3 people)
• 1 x boardrooms (12-20 people)
• Meeting rooms with views (4-6 people)
• 1 break out space with sofa (3-4 people)
• 5-star coworking space, (one with PC)
• Executive Suites suitable for 1-50 workstations
• Fully stocked, immaculate kitchen offering filtered water, Italian Espresso, Chinese and Twining's tea selections and even beer and champagne
• Utilities space with high tech colour copier, printer, scanner, a shredder and binding machine
Guangzhou IFC is strategically located in the center of the Guangzhou's CBD, South China's premier commercial precinct.
The tower and podium connect below ground to further retail spaces and a transport hub, with a retail loop encouraging connections underneath to a landscaped central axis at Zhujiang New Town. It is recognised as hub of world leading multi-national companies and is home to numerous corporate skyscrapers, shopping complexes, hotels, and restaurant, historical attractions.
Guangzhou IFC epitomises the luxury and opulence of the art deco era yet incorporates building services which meet and exceed the demands of modern business.
Zhujiang New Town enjoys excellent transport connections, being located above a metro station with three metro line crossing and close to taxis and buses.
Within 5 minutes walking distance:
• Canton Tower
• Guangzhou Library and Guangdong Museum
• Pearl River and Liede Bridge
• Guangzhou Opera House and Haixin Sha Park
• Guangdong Museum of Art and the Xinghai Music Hall, Ersha Island
• Mall of the World
• US Consulate General of Guangzhou
• Guangzhou Children Palace
• Four Seasons Hotel, Ascott, Park Hyatt, Ritz Carlton
• iKang Guobin Healthcare Centre
• Popular bars, restaurants, cafes, and nightclubs


text:
Texas is trying to cut down on waiting times at the Department of Public Safety Office by making those who want to reinstate their driver's license or receive their driver record submit their paperwork online or via federal mail.
The state's DPS offices will no longer provide reinstatement and driving record services beginning Oct. 29 and Oct. 30.
Driver's licenses can be suspended and require reinstatement following DWI's, driving without liability insurance or failure to pay child support.
Those who want to have their licenses renewed rather than reinstated can still do so at DPS offices or online.


text:
The US market's nose-dive and GE's need to expand in the EU and offshore are likely to be among her concerns when she formally replaces predecessor Vic Abate.
McEntee, with a PhD in applied mathematics, was most recently president and CEO of flow and process technologies at GE Oil & Gas. Importantly, said analysts, while there she led the highly successful integration of Dresser Inc, a provider of infrastructure products for, among others, the petroleum industry.
Her experience with a relatively new and growing division at GE — the oil and gas division was formed less than a decade ago — will be especially valuable, said Dan Holland of investment research firm Morningstar. GE, variously ranked first or second as a wind-turbine manufacturer in terms of global market share, has been in the wind business for 11 years.
McEntee's Dresser background could also prove useful if GE buys another wind-technology company, as some analysts expect. GE's $3.2-billion acquisition of Converteam, a drivetrain and generator technology company, in 2011 is the sort of move the firm could repeat in order to expand in wind, said Holland.
A 15-year GE veteran, McEntee oversaw the expansion of the conglomerate's power services business into India, Africa, Eastern Europe and the Middle East. Such emerging-markets expertise could benefit McEntee, given GE's struggle to secure an EU footing in the face of competition from its best-established rivals, Siemens and Vestas.
Her background in services is notable because of manufacturers' need to profit from operations and maintenance, said Dan Shreve of Make Consulting. But less certain is how McEntee will help GE gain traction in the offshore wind market, where its efforts have so far stalled, said analysts.
GE sells the vast majority of its wind turbines in the US, a market sharply contracting in the short-term. In mid-April, GE reported first-quarter wind revenues down 53% year-on-year, following last year's boom because of uncertainty over the production tax credit's future beyond December.
McEntee succeeds Vic Abate, GE's renewables leader since 2005, an unusually long tenure in such a role. Connecticut-based GE typically rotates its executives.
Abate has left to head GE's gas- and steam-powered electrical turbine business, which has similar revenues to the renewables division but is expected to grow faster, said Brian Langenberg, an analyst at Langenberg & Co.
"This looks like a promotion for both [McEntee and Abate]," added Langenberg.


text:
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Marvin Commercial Doors have it all: rugged durability, sophisticated design, a variety of customization options and industry-leading innovation. The commercial door is made to commercial standards and manufactured on a dedicated production line using construction and assembly processes that are different from our residential doors.
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Originally developed as a custom solution, 9-foot doors are now available as a standard product. Available in various styles, stunningly large heights, numerous panel configurations and operations.


text:
Exhibition of Miniatures from Charleston and Its Vicinity Painted Before the Year 1860: Carolina Art Association, Gibbes Memorial Art Gallery, Charleston, South Carolina, 1935
Southern Ptg. & Publishing Company, 1935 - Miniature painting - 75 pages
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text:
I have been away for some while. Many of you thought I was on a sabbatical leave, but that was just a smoke curtain for a much more dramatic makeover and re-invention of myself. I decided to become a true cyborg.
Zuck was onto something when he decided to acquire Oculus for 1.9B$ earlier this month: blurring the virtual world with the physical world to tap into the enormous opportunity of virtual experiences. But I believe he did not go till the end of his thoughts. You see, the Oculus is "only" one-directional. Giving you the input of virtual worlds. What if you could also give-back and share-back into the virtual world? The ultimate sharing economy?
That's why I recently decided to become angel investor in a small start-up from Ukraine called "The Fishery". We are really in stealth mode, I can't say too much of it. But we are applying the lean startup methodology and we now have our first MVP (Minimal Viable Product) that we start iterating with our celebrity customers. I hope you will understand I can't share names at this stage.
Whereas products such as FitBit, Jawbone and others focus on QS (Quantified Self), we believe that with the Fishery we are entering the space of the Qualified Self – it's about depth and quality, not quantity. We are still hesitating what will be the name of the product: something between the "Fishbit" of the "iFish": indeed, what we are doing is starting to fish into the deep oceans of the subconscious and the unconscious, where data and the human species become integral one and holistic.
For quite some time, I was a big believer in so called "Personal Data Stores": tools for the user that allow us to decide ourselves which pieces of our data we share with what vendor in what particular transaction context. But I realized that this only covers the data that we share intentionally. It does not cover data that we share non-intentionally (like the signals from our SIM cards), or data that are collected in surveillance and co-veillance scenarios.
So why not bite the bullet, accept that privacy is dead, and move into the realm of extreme transparency? And what if we could just plainly connect our own human brain to the internet, and create a distributed peer-to-peer exchange of human brainpower, and start to keep a human ledger that is cryptographically secured and trusted? This goes way beyond the Minority Report scenarios (after all, a film of more that a decade old). In this case, you only have to start thinking about something you would do, and hop! It would be immediately shared and algorithmically processed by the hive of connected brains. Of course, we'd have to make some major changes to legislation and regulation, but that can be overcome, it has been done before.
Anyway, last week I was back in our labs in Ukraine, and I volunteered to become the first test case for the latest beta version of our Fishbit.
What you see on the picture is me on the lab-bed, right after the 3 hour operation. The little brick on my chest is the prototype of the Fishbit. About 35 wires are connected to different sensors on my brain, my heart, my blood pressure, my lungs, skin, my legs, arms, etc: it's a true virtual and "brick"-and-mortar tricoder of all my physical and mental sensations and experiences, not only at the cognitive level, but more importantly also tracking and tracing the sub- and unconscious activities of my brain and body.
The Fishbit has of course a number of well-documented open APIs, as this is clearly a platform play where developers can let explode their creativity for thousands of apps tapping into my body, mind, and soul. And to fully bite the bullet of transparency and surveillance, we have added a couple of more secret "dark" APIs to give direct access to governments and other trustworthy organizations looking after the greater good of society at large. But I am deviating.
The mask and the tube are there to add extra oxygen and creative gases, because the sensations are so strong that I need to breath much more consciously to let my heart pumps more oxygen in the blood streams. I can tune the tube, for example per season or month, when for example in April I get an extra dose of laughing gas, and in May some smell or spring blossoms to bring me back to my 60ies hippie memories.
One of the earlier versions had an API with Twitter that made it much easier for me to tweet. I just had to think "tweet", and hop, there where 140 characters describing what I had spotted in my 2,500 RSS feeds that I follow on a daily basis.
But now we can go a lot further
Many of you know that I am a deep expert in the works of Carl Jung, especially his Book of Dreams, The Man and his Symbols, and his work on the Self, the Archetypes, the personal and the collective unconscious
Illustration from the book: "Jung, a very short introduction" by Anthony Stevens
What we discovered with Fishbit, is that sharing as we know in Facebook, Twitter, etc is so… well, outdated. If we reflect on Jung, this sort of FB-sharing only addresses the outer shell of who we are, the ego. In many cases that ego is made up and self-created, and by no means reflecting our deeper selves and motivations. Now, with Fishbit we can tap into that power.
Now, I can share my dreams as they happen. The Fishbit sensors sense when I am entering my REM sleep, can capture my dreams, and in the preferences I can set whether I want my dream to be shared as a literal transcript, as a film scenario or as a piece of poetry.
Now, I can connect my collective and personal conscious to the grid, and share with vendors my really true subconscious needs, to they can shoot better ads to me, the target. Finally! Indeed, as my hero Frank Zappa used to say: "without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
And is it not progress when now, for the first time, data, dualism, humanism and the deep unconscious merge into a exciting melting pot with unseen business opportunities on the medium and long term? I hope you share my enthusiasm for this wonderful new world. Welcome to the world of Fishbit. Welcome to my ultimate cyborg make-over.
UPDATE: obviously this post was related to it's fishy publication date. Thanks for your reactions of concern about my health, I am doing 100% fine 😉


text:
Shania Twain Stalker Released After Day of Testimony and Outbursts
Shania Twain stalker John Palumbo is now a free man and will remain free as long as he doesn't come within a half kilometer of the famous singer. The Toronto Sun reports that Palumbo was sentenced to time served and placed on three years probation after a long trial which featured many sensational outbursts.
As reported earlier, Dr. Helen Ward testified about her evaluation of Palumbo's mental state this afternoon. The Vancouver Sun reports that she said he has shown a pattern of behavior similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder. "[He has] an inflated sense of self-worth. It's an ingrained pattern that Mr. Palumbo doesn't have control over," she said. "This is how he's wired to deal with the world."
Palumbo objected, shouting "I am innocent!" to the Toronto courtroom. Then he apologized. "I'm sorry about that. I know you are all superior to me mentally and physically." At another point he laid down in the prisoner's box.
Palumbo was arrested in March after breaking a previous restraining order. Twain testified via video in September, but has ultimately never met the man who claims the two are "meant to be."


text:
In the aftermath of May's severe weather, public pressure has been mounting to install storm shelters in schools, but school districts often are unable to put in the required time and funding for such measures.
By Madi Alexander
In the aftermath of May's severe weather, public pressure has been mounting to install storm shelters in schools, but school districts often are unable to put in the required time and funding for such measures.
Concerns about protecting students arose after an EF-5 tornado destroyed two elementary schools May 20 in Moore. Seven children died in the basement of Plaza Towers Elementary. Neither school had safe rooms to protect the nearly 1,600 children and 100 teachers inside.
In the 18 districts that sit partially or completely within Pottawatomie County, more than 6,200 students have no access to an adequate tornado shelter. Only slightly more than one-third of the schools have a basement or safe room.
Click here to view an interactive map of Pottawatomie County schools.
Three schools in the Shawnee district have a storm shelter or basement, said Marc Moore, superintendent of Shawnee Public Schools.
"The Shawnee Early Childhood Center has a P.E. facility that doubles as a safe room," he said. "Shawnee Middle School has six classrooms that serve as safe rooms for all the kids in the school."
Sequoyah Elementary School has a basement capable of holding all 351 students, Moore said.
With enough time and funding, some districts were able to incorporate safe rooms into building plans for new schools. Others constructed safe rooms later on as freestanding buildings. All of the Shawnee safe rooms were incorporated into the school's structure during construction.
"The safe rooms were something we planned for during construction," he said. "We built them as part of the schools when the schools were constructed."
Dale Public Schools, which houses pre-kindergarten to 12th grade students on the same campus, constructed a freestanding safe room that doubles as a cafeteria. The safe room, which opened last year, is certified by the Federal Emergency Management Agency and capable of withstanding an EF-5 tornado.
Some schools use portable buildings, which could prove deadly in the smallest of tornadoes. Students in those districts are transported to other locations to take shelter.
Prague elementary and middle school students are bussed to the high school, where a basement holds all students in the district. Students in Asher are transported to a local church with a basement. Schools without shelters or basements use interior hallways and classrooms for protection.
Officials at the Macomb, Maud, and Wanette school districts did not respond to repeated emails and phone calls for information on shelter facilities.
District faces challenges during safe room construction
Despite overwhelming public support for shelters in schools, constructing a safe room can be a costly and extensive process.
It took McLoud Public Schools nearly 11 years to fund and construct two safe rooms, Assistant Superintendent Rob Griffin said.
"We started the strategic planning meetings in 2002, where they started to study if it was possible to fund shelters," he said. "We finished up the last meeting in June 2006."
McLoud's elementary school safe room cost about $1.3 million to construct, while the middle and high school campus facility cost $915,000. Grants from FEMA covered 75 percent of construction costs, which left the school board responsible for about $555,000.
The high school shelter was completed in October 2011 and the elementary school facility in September 2012, but FEMA still owes the district about $200,000, Griffin said.
FEMA reimburses the school district once certain steps of construction are completed using money from the district's building fund.
"Not having that money hasn't caused us not to be able to complete any projects, but there's always something that needs done," Griffin said. "There's no school in Oklahoma that doesn't need more money."
Griffin said he has no idea when FEMA will send the remaining money to the school district.
Legislators divided over shelter funding
Legislators agree that storm shelters in schools are a necessary protection, but there is division over what entity should be in charge of funding shelters.
Rep. Justin Wood, R-Shawnee, said the Legislature plans to leave the decision up to the individual school boards.
"It's been our practice to let the local school districts deal with these issues," he said. "I don't see a mandate coming from the state to require storm shelters in schools."
As a parent, Wood said it scares him to send his children to a school without a tornado shelter. But he prefers to let local schools boards, not the state Legislature, handle the issue.
"The will of the House right now, as I see it, is to leave this decision to local school boards," he said. "This is an issue that will be studied in the interim to decide the best way to handle it."
Rep. Joe Dorman, D-Rush Springs, proposed an interim study June 14 to examine school shelter policies in other states and determine what federal and state funding is available.
Dorman said he wants to circulate an initiative petition for a $500 million bond to fund storm shelters and safe rooms in public schools.
"Schools districts that can issue a bond and raise enough money usually still need to apply for federal grants to help complete construction," he said. "Those FEMA grants aren't always going to be available and they won't have enough for all public schools."
Bonds are voted upon by registered voters within the school district and are capped based on the taxable property value. Smaller school districts lack the bonding capacity to fund the construction of safe rooms without help from the state and federal governments, Dorman said.
"If we're making people stay in those buildings, we need to make sure the students and teachers are as safe as possible," he said. "You see what happened in Moore, so we need to do everything we can to make sure our kids are protected from danger."
Dorman said if students and teachers are required to be at school, even if just for a few hours every day, they need to be given adequate protection in case severe weather strikes during the school day.


text:
Three members of the Hope College softball team have been presented all-conference honors by the Michigan Intercollegiate Athletic Association (MIAA).
Sophomore centerfielder Stephanie Faber of Byron Center (Grand Rapids South Christian HS) has been presented All-MIAA first team honors.
Presented All-MIAA second team recognition were junior designated hitter Kori Nieuwsma of Lakeville, Minn. (Bethany Christian Academy) and junior second baseman Andrea Reinecke of Eaton Rapids (Eaton Rapids HS).
The Flying Dutch, coached by Karla Wolters, tied for fourth place in the MIAA standings and posted an overall 20-18 record.


text:
The snow is melting and I am thinking about rivers. I once saw a scroll by Ito Jakucho, one of a small group of Japanese artists known as The Eccentrics. Fond as I am of eccentricity I would have loved him for that alone, but the scroll, Happy Improvisations on a Riverboat Journey, captivated me.
In the spring of 1767 Jakucho and his friend Daiten Kenjo, a Zen monk, journeyed down the Yodo River, from Kyoto to Osaka; along the way Jakucho sketched and Kenjo wrote poetry. Jakucho created an enormous scroll (39 feet long!) of woodblock prints (unusual at the time) and Kenjo's poetry, capturing their journey. The process of this project, the languid journey, the way it unfurls in time and space, the two companions, is so moving.
Source: flickr.com via country on Pinterest
From ages 7 to 14 I lived on the Severn River in Maryland, a place of vital importance to who I am. I have a longing to see the river. So much of my adult life has been seduced by oceans, I forgot the power of rivers with their currents and coves.
Jakuto is also known for his Colorful Realm of Living Beings, thirty scroll paintings made for a monastary in Kyoto. This painting of roosters feels very modern, considering it was painted in the 18th century.
Of course, rivers are never this color (are they?), but they have riverbanks, lives built along them, unique histories, cultures. So many rivers I've never seen--the Mississippi, Amazon, Nile, Ganges. (See beautiful river pictures here) However, I do feel like I know them, from novels I've read that bring them to life. Speaking of novels, I recently finished Matterhorn, and recommend it if you think it's the kind of book you might like. Now I'm reading A Suitable Boy, and loving it.
I'm considering adjusting my lifelong fantasy of a beach house to a river house. How 'bout you--ocean, river, lake, creek?


text:
|2007-08 Oklahoma Women's Basketball Guide
The official source of information for Sooner basketball, this award-winning publication is now available direct from the OU Athletics Department. To purchase, please visit the official OU Athletics Multimedia Store.
* Please note that you must have a free Adobe Reader installed on your computer to view PDF files.


text:
Ferrari Takes a Victory Lap with ANSYS
When you are one of the most admired brands in the world, you don't take your foot off of the gas pedal. You consistently innovate. Push forward with groundbreaking new designs and functionality. Ferrari does just that, relying on ANSYS engineering simulation to optimize critical aspects of its race cars, like brake cooling systems and full-body aerodynamics, to better handle the twists and turns of the racing world.