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- In the 1990's the previous Exploring Program became the new Venturing program.
Today, Exploring is a worksite-based program. It is part of Learning for Life's career education program for young men and women who are 14 (and have completed the eighth grade) through 20 years old.
Exploring's purpose is to provide experiences that help young people mature and to prepare them to become responsible and caring adults. Explorers are ready to investigate the meaning of interdependence in their personal relationships and communities.
Exploring is based on a unique and dynamic relationship between youth and the organizations in their communities. Local community organizations initiate a specific Explorer post by matching their people and program resources to the interests of young people in the community. The result is a program of activities that helps youth pursue their special interests, grow, and develop.
Program Emphasis
Exploring programs are based on five areas of emphasis: career opportunities, life skills, citizenship, character education, and leadership experience.
- Career Opportunities
- Develop potential contacts that may broaden employment options
- Boost self-confidence and experience success at school and work
- Life Skills
- Develop physical and mental fitness
- Experience positive social interaction
- Citizenship
- Encourage the skill and desire to help others
- Gain a keen respect for the basic rights of others
- Character Education
- Help make ethical choices
- Fulfill one's responsibilities to society as a whole
- Leadership Experience
- Acquire leadership skills necessary to fulfill one's responsibilities in society
- Develop a variety of leadership traits
- Young adults involved in Exploring will
- Gain practical knowledge of and experience in a career
- Engage in a program of activities centered on career opportunities, life skills, citizenship, character development, and leadership experience to encourage the development of the whole person
- Have opportunities to take on leadership roles
- Have a chance to learn and grow in a supportive, caring, and enjoyable environment
Harris Study Findings
Exploring is a part of the Learning for Life career education program for young men and women who are 14 (and have completed the eighth grade) through 20 years old.*Exploring exists to accomplish a major goal: To provide the structure and resources needed for the youth of America to learn about career opportunities, to make ethical choices, and to achieve their full potential as individuals.
The Exploring program is specifically designed to incorporate the following experience areas: career opportunities, life skills, service learning, character education, a n d leadership experience. A close analysis of the activities, relationships, and experiences in the program demonstrates success in meeting the elements of healthy youth development .
Elements of Healthy Youth Development
The Exploring program contributes to the healthy development of today's young adults by providing them with the environment, resources, and relationships they need to learn and grow.
A Positive Sense of Self-Worth and Usefulness
Exploring is focused on teaching youth about career fields that might interest them and encouraging them to prepare for the future. In doing so, the program aims to build self-worth and self-confidence in youth. In part, it does this by providing an atmosphere of teamwork, learning, and accomplishment.
Nearly all Explorers (98 percent) agree that Exploring activities help to prepare them for the future. The belief among members that Exploring contributes to their self-esteem is also strong: 92 percent of Explorers agree that being an Explorer has taught them to have more confidence in themselves and their abilities.
Self-worth is closely tied to relationships with others. Relationship building between youth, their peers, and adults plays an important developmental role by establishing a place of belonging and security and by fostering feelings of value. In Exploring, positive self-worth is reinforced through encouragement from others. Overall, 91 percent of Explorers agree that they receive such encouragement from other Explorers, and 94 percent agree that they are encouraged by their parents to participate in Exploring activities.
Positive self-worth is also supported through early leadership experiences in Exploring. About one in five Explorers (22 percent) hold an elected or appointed leadership position within the post.
External Links
- The Exploring Experience - Harris Study


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Success in today's IT environment requires you to view your career as a business endeavor. In this book, you'll learn how to become an entrepreneur, driving your career in the direction of your choosing. You'll learn how to build your software development career step by step, following the same path that you would follow if you were building, marketing, and selling a product. After all, your skills themselves are a product.
The choices you make about which technologies to focus on and which business domains to master have at least as much impact on your success as your technical knowledge itself—don't let those choices be accidental. We'll walk through all aspects of the decision-making process, so you can ensure that you're investing your time and energy in the right areas.
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Chad Fowler is an internationally known software developer, trainer, manager, speaker, and musician. Over the past decade he has worked with some of the world's largest companies and most admired software developers. He loves to program computers and, as part of his role as CTO of InfoEther, Inc., spends much of his time solving hard problems for customers in the Ruby language. He is co-organizer of RubyConf, RailsConf, and RailsConf Europe and author or co-author of a number of popular software books.

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Partner's Pizzeria in Tonawanda is such a big place, with such a massive sign, that we were very surprised to walk in and find that the vast majority of the building is taken up by its kitchen. It's really more of a pizza factory, with huge grills and multiple pizza ovens visible from the counter and glass wall that separates the kitchen from the four tables in the dining area.
Don't look for charm in the dining area; there isn't any, although there is a wall air conditioner for those steamy days. With slightly greasy tile floors and only a large TV for decor, it's clear that most people sit down only to wait for their orders.
Partner's is proud of the fact that it is open 365 days a year, with delivery until 4 a.m. This is mentioned both on the printed menu and on a bright-pink sheet stapled to the menu. It's an appealing situation, especially on those late nights when you're hungry and don't feel like driving.
There's a good selection of pizza, ranging from slices for $2.25 or a 9-inch personal size with cheese for $6.15 to sheet pizzas for $22.49, with many kinds of toppings, including pineapple, spinach, anchovies and broccoli, as well as steak, chicken breast, chicken fingers and taco meat.
There are also 23 hot and cold subs, ranging from plain cheese ($4.79 for a half) to half of a steak and chicken finger "stinger" ($6.99).
There's also a selection of deep-fried extras, including pizza logs, jalapeno poppers, mozzarella sticks and breaded mushrooms and cauliflower, all for $6.25.
After ordering and paying at the counter, Ruth, John and I chose one of the six glass-topped tables outside under a large awning. It's on the busy corner of Niagara Falls Boulevard and Eggert Road, so there's plenty to watch.
Be sure to keep your eye on the counter inside, though - there is no table service, so your order will be put in the window for you to pick up. It worked for us. Everything was packaged in to-go containers, the pizza was in a box and we got a stack of paper plates, napkins and plastic cutlery.
The fresh-out-of-the-oven pizza ($9.75) was distinctive, made with very thick, perfectly baked dough and a ton of cheese. The danger with thick pizza dough is that the middle will be undercooked, but the bottom of this one was gorgeously golden and the crust had a slight crispiness that yielded to the knife, revealing a deliciously steaming interior. The sauce provided a good taste and texture counterpoint to the thick layer of melty mozzarella. The sausage topping ($1.99), a dozen or so chunks sprinkled on top, was good without being great.
We liked this pizza, although it would not be to everyone's taste. You will not find the Manhattan-style thin crust, foldable slices with just a light layer of cheese here. But we enjoyed this version, and we could see how it could easily become a favorite.
Also unusual were the barbecued and charred wings (single order $9.25). The 10 good-sized wings were slathered - drippingly so - in a thick tomato-based barbecue sauce that seemed to have come straight out of a bottle. They were grilled a bit, with a few visible char marks, but we prefer grilled wings that have spent longer on the grill and from which most of the barbecue sauce has seared off. However, once you got past the messiness, they were delicious.
A chicken taco was made in a soft, warm, flour tortilla that was packed with white-meat chicken and perfectly spiced with just a hint of heat. It was a real bargain at just $3.99. A trip to the counter for forgotten sour cream (25 cents more) resulted in a wait of several minutes, but as I said, the kitchen is enormous, so maybe it's kept in a far-off refrigerator.
A royal half-sub ($5.79), made with capicola and a thin patty of Italian sausage, was served on a nicely toasted roll. Both the capicola and sausage were flavorful and the combination was good.
The sirloin steak sandwich ($6.45) was impressive, with a thin slice of grilled steak hanging out both sides of a soft, fresh roll. A thin layer of melty cheese inside made this an enjoyable, if somewhat greasy, sandwich. Perhaps because it was sliced so thin, the steak was tender, and it was extremely flavorful.
While we ate, we watched several people pull up, get food and take it home. That's a good idea, although I heard that Partner's also delivers until 4 a.m.
Partner's Pizzeria
3 out of 4 pennies
934 Niagara Falls Blvd., Tonawanda
Open from 10 a.m. to 4 a.m. daily, 365 days a year
email: email@example.com


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Lecture and Performance Series, Spring 2014
"All that I have said boils down to the point of affirming that mankind's survival is dependent upon man's ability to solve the problems of racial injustice, poverty, and war." — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Nobel Lecture, December 11, 1964
After the Supreme Court's ruling on the landmark Brown v. Board of Education case in 1954, the long struggle African Americans waged for equality in the United States gained legislative momentum. Characterized by non-violent protest and civil disobedience, the movement eventually resulted in transformative social and legislative changes, most notably the 1964 watershed passage of the Civil Rights Act. But, as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., said in his December 1964 Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, "The problem is far from solved. We still have a long, long way to go before the dream of freedom is a reality...."
50 Years Later
The aim of The Griot Institute's The Civil Rights Movement: Fifty Years Later series is to offer the University and the local community an opportunity to examine the histories of the American civil rights movement, in an effort to extend the conversation and to acknowledge and define the necessity and current trajectories of the primary goal of the movement: to enable the US to fulfill its articulated principles, guaranteeing equality to all of its citizens.
Series Events
Film Screening: "The Abolitionists"
Gallery Theatre, Elaine Langone Center, 3rd floor
A small group of moral reformers in the 1830s launched one of the most ambitious social movements imaginable: the immediate emancipation of millions of African Americans held in bondage, at a time when slavery was one of the most powerful economic and political forces in the United States. "The Abolitionists" was produced and directed by Rob Rapley and Sharon Grimberg, executive producer for American Experience, WGBH.
Lecture/Discussion: Bernice Johnson-Reagon
Weis Center for the Performing Arts
For more than a half-century, Bernice Johnson-Reagon has been a major cultural voice for freedom and justice; singing, teaching-speaking out against racism and organized inequities of all kinds. A child of Southwest Georgia, Dr. Reagon was born into the struggle against racism in America. Dr. Reagon's life and work support the concept of community based culture which emphasizes an enlarged capacity for mutual respect.
Perhaps no individual today better illustrates the transformative power and instruction of traditional African American music and cultural history than Bernice Johnson Reagon, who has excelled equally in the realms of scholarship, composition, and performance. She is Professor Emeritus of History at American University, Curator Emeritus at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History, and served as the 2002-2004 Cosby Chair of Fine Arts at Spelman College (her alma mater) in Atlanta, GA. Two of her major works are seminal to the study of this tradition: Wade in the Water: African American Sacred Music Traditions and Africans in America: America's Journey Through Slavery.
Dr. Reagon has served as music consultant, composer, and performer for several film and video projects, including the award-winning Eyes on the Prize, the Emmy-winning We Shall Overcome, and the feature film Beloved. In 2003, she created the music and libretto for the Robert Wilson production, The Temptation of St. Anthony, which premiered in Germany. In this work, Reagon's music drew upon her intimate and long-term study and performance of African American music spanning 19th and 20th century genres.
Film Screening: "Slavery by Another Name"
Gallery Theatre, Elaine Langone Center, 3rd floor
Even as slavery ended in the south after the Civil War, new forms of forced labor kept thousands of African Americans in bondage until the onset of World War II. "Slavery by Another Name" is based on the 2008 Pulitzer Prize-winning book of the same title by Douglas Blackmon. Produced and directed by Sam Pollard. Catherine Allan, executive producer for Twin Cities Public Television. Douglas A. Blackmon, co-executive producer. A production of TPT National Productions, in association with Two Dollars & A Dream, Inc.
Barry Long: Freedom Songs
Campus Theatre
Barry Long was the inaugural Samuel Williams Professor of Music at Bucknell University where he currently directs the jazz ensemble and teaches coursework in jazz and music theory. He was the first to receive a doctoral degree (DMA) in Jazz Studies from the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY and has studied and performed with such artists as Kenny Wheeler, Bob Brookmeyer, John Clayton, Eliane Elias, Benny Carter, Jim McNeely, and Dave Stahl. His compositional credits include honors from the Jazz Composer's Alliance as well as commissions for Clark Terry and numerous high school and collegiate ensembles. Long's research activities include publications for Oxford, McFarland Press, IAJE, VH1, and an upcoming jazz appreciation text for Prentice Hall; grants from the NEH and Brubeck Foundation; and international presentations at conferences on jazz, popular music, and race.
His current scholarship studies the intersections of jazz and social justice, particularly during the Civil Rights movement. Conference papers and forthcoming articles include work on Amiri Baraka's jazz and spoken word projects, the uncanny similarities between John Coltrane's Alabama and Martin Luther King's eulogy for the victims of the Birmingham church bombing, and the spiritual signification present within Mahalia Jackson's and Duke Ellington's collaborative work. A performative project, Freedom in the Air, incorporates iconic Civil Rights photography by Charles Moore, James Karales, and others with spontaneously improvised reactions to their powerful images.
Lecture/Discussion: Jonathan Rieder
Bucknell Hall
Jonathan Rieder is professor of sociology at Barnard College and a member of the graduate faculty at Columbia University. He has previously taught at Yale and Swarthmore. He is the author of The Word of the Lord Is upon Me: The Righteous Performance of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Canarsie: The Jews and Italians of Brooklyn against Liberalism. He edited The Fractious Nation: Unity and Division in Contemporary American Life and was a cofounding editor of Common Quest:The Magazine of Black- Jewish Relations.
His latest work, Gospel of Freedom: Martin Luther King, Jr.'s Letter from Birmingham Jail and the Struggle That Changed a Nation, was described by Booklist as "A sparkling reconsideration of the 'Letter' ... A slim volume that packs plenty of punch, Gospel of Freedom is a must-read for anyone who wishes to understand the civil rights movement, King, and America itself."
He has been a regular commentator on TV and radio, a contributor to The New York Times Book Review, and a contributing editor for The New Republic. He has been a Member and a Visitor at the Institute for Advanced Studies at Princeton, and been awarded fellowships by the National Endowment for the Humanities, the Davis Center for Historical Studies at Princeton, The Wilson Center, the National Humanities Center, the Russell Sage Foundation, and the Aspen Institute for Humanistic Studies. He is currently working on a book about the rise of contemporary crossover culture and the transformation of rhythm and blues into soul music.
Film Screening: "Freedom Riders"
Gallery Theatre, Elaine Langone Center, 3rd floor
The Freedom Rides of 1961 were a pivotal moment in the long Civil Rights struggle that redefined America. Based on Raymond Arsenault's recent book, "Freedom Riders" is a documentary film offering an inside look at the brave band of activists who challenged segregation in the Deep South. Produced and directed by Stanley Nelson. Mark Samels, executive producer for American Experience, WGBH.
Lecture/Discussion: Sonia Sanchez
Bucknell Hall
Dr. Sonia Sanchez speaks internationally on black culture and literature, women's liberation, peace, and racial justice. Finding her voice in poetry, Sanchez evolved from a shy child with a stutter into a force of the Black Power movement of the 1960s. She was also in the forefront of the Black Studies movement and taught the first university course offered in the United States on black women.
A prolific author, Sanchez has written more than 16 books, including Homecoming, We a BaddDDD People, Love Poems, I've Been a Woman, A Sound Investment and Other Stories, Homegirls and Handgrenades, Under a Soprano Sky, Wounded in the House of a Friend, Does Your House Have Lions?, Like the Singing Coming off the Drums, Shake Loose My Skin, and Morning Haiku. She has also published numerous plays, including Black Cats and Uneasy Landings and I'm Black When I'm Singing, I'm Blue When I Ain't. The Sonia Sanchez Literary Review is an academic journal devoted to critical examination of her work.
Sanchez is the recipient of numerous honors for her writing and service, including the Lucretia Mott Award, the American Book Award for Homegirls and Handgrenades, the Governor's Award for Excellence in the Humanities, the Peace and Freedom Award from the Women's International League for Peace and Freedom (W.I.L.P.F.), a PEW Fellowship in the Arts (1992-1993), and the Langston Hughes Poetry Award, among many others.
Lecture/Discussion: Ernest Green
Gallery Theatre, Elaine Langone Center, 3rd floor
(rescheduled from February due to weather)
Born in Little Rock, Arkansas, September 22, 1941, Green earned his high school diploma from Central High School in Little Rock. He and eight other black students were the first to integrate Central High, following the 1954 US Supreme Court decision in Brown v. Board of Education that declared racial segregation illegal. This group of pioneers became known as the "Little Rock Nine." Green received bachelors and masters degrees from Michigan State University. He also has received honorary doctorates from Michigan State University, Tougaloo College, and Central State University.
Ernest G. Green is presently the Managing Director of Public Finance for Lehman Brothers' Washington, DC office. Since joining Lehman Brothers in 1987, Green has served as senior investment banker on transactions for such key clients as the City of New York, State of New York, and the City of Chicago. He has also been appointed as chairman of the African Development Foundation by President Clinton, and chairman of the Historically Black Colleges and Universities Capital Financing Advisory Board by Secretary of Education, Richard W. Riley.
The recipient of numerous awards, Green was the youngest recipient of the NAACP's Spingard Medal, at the age of seventeen. On November 9, 1999, President Clinton presented Green, and the rest of the "Little Rock Nine," the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest honor the United States gives to civilians, for outstanding bravery during the integration of Little Rock Central High School in 1957.
Film Screening: "The Loving Story"
Willard Smith Library
"The Loving Story" is the moving account of Richard and Mildred Loving, who were arrested in 1958 for violating Virginia's ban on interracial marriage. Their struggle culminated in a landmark Supreme Court decision, Loving v. Virginia (1967) which overturned anti-miscegenation laws in the United States. Directed by Nancy Buirski; produced by Nancy Buirski and Elisabeth Haviland James. A co-production of Augusta Films and HBO Films. Distributed by Icarus Films.
Lecture/Discussion: Kathleen Cleaver
Bucknell Hall
Kathleen Neal Cleaver has spent most of her life advocating for human rights. Since 2000, she has served as the co-director of the Atlanta-based Human Rights Research Fund, part of a network of anti-racist organizations engaged in documenting violations of the human rights of US citizens who challenge the racist and military policies within the United States. Cleaver is currently a senior lecturer in the African American Studies Department at Yale and holds an appointment as a senior lecturer and research fellow at Emory University School of Law.
Cleaver began challenging racial injustice young. She dropped out of Barnard College in 1966 to work full time with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) where she served in the campus program. From 1967 to 1971, she was the Black Panther Party's communications secretary and the first female member of their central committee. After spending years in exile with Eldridge Cleaver in Algeria and France, she returned to the United States in late 1975.
She graduated summa cum laude with a BA in history from Yale College in 1984 and was elected to Phi Beta Kappa. After receiving a JD from Yale Law School in 1989, Cleaver became an associate at the New York law firm Cravath, Swaine & Moore. Then she clerked for the late Judge A. Leon Higginbotham of the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit in Philadelphia. She has worked to free imprisoned freedom fighters such as Geronimo ji-Jaga Pratt and Mumia Abu-Jamal.
Cleaver's writings have appeared in numerous magazines and newspapers. She edited a collection of writings by her former husband Eldridge Cleaver titled Target Zero: A Life in Writing. Her latest work is a memoir titled Memories of Love and War (2013).
Freedom Riders Exhibit
Bertrand Library
Inspired by visions of social revolution, the self-proclaimed "Freedom Riders" challenged the mores of a racially segregated society by performing a disarmingly simple act: traveling together in small interracial groups, and sitting where they pleased on buses and trains. Demanding unrestricted access to terminal restaurants and waiting rooms, they were met with bitter racism, mob violence, and imprisonment along the way. But their courage and sacrifice over eight months in 1961 changed America forever.
This exhibition was created in partnership with WGBH Boston / The American Experience, which developed a major television special of the same name to be aired in spring 2014, and celebrates the 50th anniversary of this seminal moment in civil rights history in the summer of 1961. The exhibition will be on display in Bucknell's Bertrand Library in conjunction with the Griot Institute's Civil Rights series.
Created Equal: America's Civil Rights Struggle
Created Equal: America's Civil Rights Struggle is an initiative of the National Endowment for the Humanities that uses the power of documentary films to encourage community discussion of America's civil rights history. NEH has partnered with the Gilder Lehrman Institute of American History to develop programmatic and support materials for the sites.
The Griot Institute of Africana Studies, in partnership with Bertrand Library and CSREG, is one of 473 institutions across the country awarded a set of four films chronicling the history of the civil rights movement. The powerful documentaries — The Abolitionists, Slavery by Another Name, Freedom Riders, and The Loving Story — include dramatic scenes of incidents in the 150-year effort to achieve equal rights for all. Freedom Riders received an Emmy in 2012, and The Loving Story and The Abolitionists were nominated for Emmys in 2013.
Film screenings will be included in the Griot's Spring Lecture Series, The Civil Rights Movement: Fifty Years Later. These films chronicle the long and sometimes violent effort to achieve the rights enumerated in the Declaration of Independence — life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans. We at The Griot are pleased to have received a grant from NEH to provide programming around these films.


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Maintaining an electrical system on an industrial-level scale requires a specialized skill set you probably will not find with most electrical companies. The power loads involved in a factory or warehouse environment are typically more than you would find in even a large commercial setting. Choose a company with a longstanding reputation for reliability and quality work. The master electricians at C & J Electrical are available 24/7 to keep your operations running safely and efficiently.


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SurvivingInfidelity.com® > I Can Relate
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Agnostic/Atheist Support Group
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Althea posted 5/4/2014 13:19 PM
Admittedly, I haven't read through this whole thread; so I apologize in advance if this a frequent topic; but WH and I are struggling a bit with the idea if spirituality without religion. We are both agnostic-ish. I guess I keep thinking that if I find the "right" religion for me, I could be a believer. Still, the most spiritual experiences of my life have been in nature (e.g, hiking through the Sierras, or sitting silently in an open field). That feeling of being centered and part of something bigger at the same time. I don't think religion has a the monopoly on goodness or morality and believe myself to be a moral and good person in the absence of religion.
This has been good enough for me for a long time; but lately as I am in recovery from shame and a highly dysfunctional past, I am questioning again this idea of spirituality without religion. It is a required step in healing for various recovery programs, and I understand the necessity of believing and putting your faith in something other than yourself, I'm just not sure how.
Is anyone else struggling with or working successfully through this?
Lionne posted 5/4/2014 13:38 PM
Many in recovery use the words "good orderly direction" as their higher power.
There are also 12steps written from a secular POV on the first page in the Spouses of Sex Addicts forum.
Althea posted 5/4/2014 14:40 PM
Thanks scaredyKat, I will check it out.
Maxiom posted 5/5/2014 13:55 PM
Is forgiveness really a religious thing
I just had to highlight this. I wonder this myself. I personally think forgiveness is highly overrated. I understand where those from both the theistic background and from the atheistic background think this is somehow necessary for ones own healing. Even in the case of the most heinous crimes. However, i do not think forgiveness is necessary.
I have not nor will i ever forgive the doctor whose sheer laziness and negligence left my cousin in a vegetative state until his death at the very young age of 25. He doesn't deserve it.. and if I were to forgive, I feel I would be doing my cousin's memory a disservice.
However, that doesn't mean i haven't let it go. My blood doesn't boil over like it used to just thinking of it, but i could actually be in the same room with this guy. I wouldn't shake his hand, but neither would I punch him. No matter how much that narcissistic waste of flesh would deserve it.
That's not to say I couldn't forgive anyone. There are usually mitigating factors, and a good deal of remorse from the person who has wronged me or my family would help, but i simply don't feel compelled under any circumstance to truly forgive. I actually feel this forced forgiveness is a detriment to ones healing. We're almost told to hurry up and get it over with yet I feel its far better to allow the anger to works its way through at its own pace... and by the time we are truly willing to let it go.. we realize that forgiveness wasn't required in the first place.
Razor posted 5/5/2014 14:09 PM
That's not to say I couldn't forgive anyone. There are usually mitigating factors, and a good deal of remorse from the person who has wronged me or my family would help, but i simply don't feel compelled under any circumstance to truly forgive. I actually feel this forced forgiveness is a detriment to ones healing. We're almost told to hurry up and get it over with yet I feel its far better to allow the anger to works its way through at its own pace... and by the time we are truly willing to let it go.. we realize that forgiveness wasn't required in the first place.
IMO forgiveness must be EARNED if it is to be had at all. Otherwise quick and blanket forgiveness seems as if it would just give the offender permission to act out again. If there is no consequence and what ever is done is just forgiven and forgotten. Then why not do it again?
Anger and resentment exist in us because they served a evolutionary purpose. In other words these emotions helped our primitive selves survive in a hostile world. I believe the world had not changed that much since then. Civilization is just a veneer finish over the base hostility that still lurks beneath the surface of us all.
Without anger and resentment we set ourselves up to be future victims. And until my WW shows real remorse and really works to win me back, I will still feel those emotions. And I make no apologies about that.
[This message edited by Razor at 2:09 PM, May 5th (Monday)]
LosferWords posted 5/5/2014 14:15 PM
Forgiveness is a choice. On the flip side, there is a lot to be said about choosing NOT to forgive. I was able to let go of a lot of things that were really eating me up inside when I actively decided to never forgive OM. Choosing not to forgive was my only shot at getting to the point of indifference with him. Choosing not to forgive is highly underrated, IMHO.
nekorb posted 5/5/2014 15:44 PM
Interesting thoughts about forgiveness.
Do you think forgiving equals being willing to have that person in your life again?
How do you forgive someone who hasn't asked for it?
Do you think forgiving and letting go are two separate issues?
I'm having a really hard time with the idea of not being angry to the core of my being right now. My adult child laid on my bed and sobbed last night because her dad "has just ruined everything". She is mourning weddings and how she thought things would be with her kids and us as grandparents etc.
For me, I think the critical missing piece is my WH's remorse. He has none that I've seen and I never even saw him shed a tear about ripping our family apart until the night we told the kids.
Lionne posted 5/5/2014 16:26 PM
Yeah, well, I don't forgive, but I've learned to live with the whole reality. I've never believed in the whole redemption thing even when I did think I was a christian. Nor do I think it's necessary for reconciliation.
Nekorb. You call your daughter an adult and yet she clearly is not. She is so young. And, of course heartbroken. I guess you have to be the adult here and tell her the new truth. Things WON'T be the way she pictured them, but you will do your very best to make the new reality just as beautiful or better than what she envisioned. I know that isn't what you are really feeling, but, as parents, we too often have to sugar coat things for our kids.
Hugs to you and your babies. You have evolved to such a compassionate and strong woman through this nastiness. You will get through this, too.
LosferWords posted 5/5/2014 20:19 PM
(((nekorb and kids)))
Do you think forgiving equals being willing to have that person in your life again?
I think it is different for everybody, so I can only speak on my behalf. For me, having that person in my life is a big part of it. In my case I view forgiveness as an act, versus a final destination or disposition. The fact that I am still here every day is an act of forgiveness... the fact that I continue to tell my wife that I love her is an act of forgiveness. The way that I see it in my head and in my heart, that doesn't mean that she is "forgiven". I don't know if I'll ever get to that stage. It's more of a day to day thing that are reflected by my actions, and by how I feel in my heart.
How do you forgive someone who hasn't asked for it?
Janis Spring addressed this in her book, but to be honest I kind of skimmed through those chapters, because they didn't really apply to me. I do remember her talking about examples of people forgiving their dead parents, etc. That's a tough question. My wife hasn't asked for forgiveness... but she is remorseful and doesn't expect it. It is a totally different scenario when someone has wronged you and is not remorseful. I don't know if I would be willing to forgive in that situation. Probably not.
Do you think forgiving and letting go are two separate issues?
For me, I think they are two separate issues. For me, the "letting go" is more of an acceptance of things that I can't change or control.
You have every right to be angry to the core, nekorb. In fact, I think it would be highly dangerous and unhealthy for you to try to bottle that anger up or sweep it under the rug. That anger doesn't go away if you try to do that. It is still there, and causing you damage. Let it out. For me it was talking about it, talking about it, and talking about it.
I am sorry you are hurting, and that your daughter is hurting too. Hang in there... keep talking and posting out here on SI in whatever forums you are comfortable posting in. We're here for you.
Ascendant posted 5/5/2014 21:04 PM
Timely subject, forgiveness.
I posted in another thread (I believe) that forgiveness is something that I've never done consciously. Meaning that never once have I said to myself, "Ok, now I am going to forgive [person] for [transgression]" during the entire course of my life. I don't even know what that means, or how it manifest itself IRL.
(It should be known, however, that I've been accused of being vindictive by people and/or personality tests. FYI.)
When I've forgiven people, it's been something that happened gradually, organically. It just happened with enough time and emotional distance from the hurt done against me.
Forgiveness, to me, is when the manner in which you hurt me is no longer the first thing I associate with you when I think of you....and I don't think it's possible to train the brain to do that. It's just something that happens with enough time...new memories begin to take prominence over older ones, because they play a more active role in your (day-to-day) life.
I just finished a book entitled "Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits". It sounds like a written rationale for vengeance, but it's really not. However, as a person with strong vengeful feelings it is a very affirming book, because it's very validating of 'vindictive passions' in general. A brief synopsis:
Even as we rightly preach the virtues of forgiveness, we should recognize that victims deserve to have their vindictive passions respected and to some degree validated. Even if these passions should not be the last word, they have a legitimate claim to be the first word. Even when they should not control, they should be listened to with respect instead of met with pious sermons and sentimental, dismissive cliches. We may grant that the vindictive passions represent a darkness within us that we hope ultimately to drive away.
This darkness sometimes gives a hit of initial relief, however, as it partially shields us from the painfully intrusive light cast into our souls when we are deeply wronged by our fellow human beings-a light that shatters our innocence by illuminating our fragility, our vulnerability, our openness to suffering and betrayal.
Some crimes never probably never deserve forgiveness, and some criminals (moral or otherwise) are never repentant enough to earn forgiveness.
nekorb posted 5/5/2014 21:15 PM
Thanks for the thoughts and ideas.
sK - you're right, she is still a kid...but being forced to grow up really quickly through this process. She really has a good head on her shoulders. I'm so thankful for that. I do tell the kids that we are going to be ok. I have no idea what that means, but I will make it true!
She got baptized at her church at college a few weeks ago. That was hard for me - really triggery with all the past abuse issues I have and the atmosphere and whatnot. I got through it though. It made her happy and I'm ok with her finding her own way...I just worry that it was a knee jerk reaction to feeling the need to belong somewhere...but, it will be ok.
I'm going to keep pondering the forgiveness thing.
Thanks everyone.
Althea posted 5/6/2014 12:49 PM
Claudia Black says forgiveness is not forgetting, but remembering and letting go. I like that because it leaves room for being angry from time to time, remaining mindful of old dysfunctional patterns; but allows one to let go of the need to hold a grudge or have vengeance.
Jrazz posted 5/6/2014 13:43 PM
Claudia Black says forgiveness is not forgetting, but remembering and letting go. I like that because it leaves room for being angry from time to time, remaining mindful of old dysfunctional patterns; but allows one to let go of the need to hold a grudge or have vengeance.
Love this.
Ascendant posted 5/6/2014 14:01 PM
I agree (mostly) with the idea that Claudia Black presents there.
I've found that with me personally, once the forgiveness has taken place, I don't even really get angry from time to time; there's no longer any sting to the wound.
That being said, in the past I've usually been able to give myself some physical distance from the person who has hurt me for a period of months and/or years, and in my estimation that made the healing easier.
It could also explain why I'm having a rough go of it so far, re: the affair.
[This message edited by Ascendant at 2:01 PM, May 6th (Tuesday)]
Maxiom posted 5/6/2014 14:03 PM
Claudia Black says forgiveness is not forgetting, but remembering and letting go. I like that because it leaves room for being angry from time to time, remaining mindful of old dysfunctional patterns; but allows one to let go of the need to hold a grudge or have vengeance.
A nice sentiment, but really I do firmly believe forgiveness and simply letting go are not necessarily the same thing. Again.. I can let go without forgiving. However, I do accept that this is now largely a semantic argument.
Jrazz posted 5/6/2014 14:11 PM
I've found that with me personally, once the forgiveness has taken place, I don't even really get angry from time to time; there's no longer any sting to the wound.
I agree with that. It's not so much anger for me after forgiveness, but there's definitely a brief echo of the feelings. There was this girl that was AWFUL to me in middle school. We ran into each other as adults and I realized that I disliked her to the exact same degree as when we were 12 when I set eyes on her. She made it a point to come immediately over to me and apologize. She took complete ownership of her behavior even though we were "just kids" and said that she thought about it a lot and wished she could make it right. Forgiveness came as easily as an exhale there, and we are fb friends now and ping about our kids from time to time. Sometimes, when I see her picture I remember briefly the tears and frustration from years ago, and then it's gone and I'm grateful that she reached out to me so I could let that all go.
Ascendant posted 5/6/2014 14:40 PM
Exactly, Jrazz.
Similarly, when I was 18 years old a buddy of mine and I got an apartment together. It ended badly; I was giving him my half of the rent money in order to pay our landlord because I worked weird hours. Come to find out that he was pocketing the money/spending it on who-knows-what.
We got evicted. I got angry.
He avoided me for like 3 years, even moving to Canada for a little while. Gradually, eventually, the 'active' anger faded. At some point, forgiveness took place and I just missed my friend. I didn't forget it by any stretch of imagination...I just never put myself in a potentially-compromising position with him again. That whole period of my life is just a part of our narrative now; we've even talked and joked about it.
I think that one of the key differences between a damaged relationship with a friend versus a spouse is that with a friend it's easier to alter the terms of the relationship and feel fine about it. With my friend, I learned that we can be cool and get along just fine, but he is in no way dependable going forward....which I keep in mind now. If I count on him for something, it's on me, because I should know better.
With a spouse, we have all these socio-cultural expectations about how marriages work, re: emotional vulnerability and/or interdependence. I know Jrazz has spoken of it before (as have I), but for some of us a part of reconciling is determining whether we want to be that enmeshed with our spouses going forward.
The longer I'm involved with healthy/healing people, IC, and healing literature, the more I've come to believe that the way we (as in our Western culture) conceptualize marriage is super codependent.
I used to think of marriage as two people in one car on a long, long trip. Sometimes I'm the passenger and she's the driver; sometimes it's reversed. If one of us falls asleep at the wheel, we both crash.
I conceptualize it differently now: we're driving two separate cars, but we've agreed that we're heading to the same destination together. However, if she falls asleep at the wheel, or turns off the highway, or gets lost, it's up to her to get herself back on the right path.
Her misadventures, missteps, and mistakes do not derail my progress. Nor mine hers.
h0peless posted 5/21/2014 22:58 PM
So I tried to talk to my Mom about the whole penis in the face at church thing today. I got tears and the classic "I don't know what to tell you..." response. Obviously she isn't going to be very helpful with this and I can't seem to adequately process it on my own. Time to look into going to IC again. I might look for a secular therapist this time. I liked the one I went to before but she sometimes had trouble with framing things in a non-religious manner and I really don't want that angle to pop up with this problem.
nowiknow23 posted 5/21/2014 23:10 PM
h0peless - I'm glad you're seeking support to work through this, and I'm so very sorry that your mom isn't able to help. Sending you strength.
NoDoormat posted 5/25/2014 11:53 AM
If anybody sees this, I could use some encouragement. My marriage of 21 years is falling apart, and if one more person tells me that what is supposed to happen will happen, I will just tear out my hair.
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UK internet service providers (ISPs) must now block access to popular Swedish BitTorrent file-sharing website The Pirate Bay, following a ruling by High Court judge Mr Justice Arnold.
British Phonographic Industry (BPI), the music industry trade association, asked a group of UK ISPs including Sky, O2, Virgin Media, Everything Everywhere and TalkTalk to voluntarily block access to The Pirate Bay in November 2011, but the ISPs said they would not comply unless a court order was issued.
The Pirate Bay is one of the largest searchable databases in the world for pirated free music, films, games and software, with links to more than four million trackers. ComScore estimates that there are 3.7 million Pirate Bay users in the UK.
"The High Court has confirmed that The Pirate Bay infringes copyright on a massive scale," said British Phonographic Industry (BPI) chief executive Geoff Taylor.
"Its operators line their pockets by commercially exploiting music and other creative works without paying a penny to the people who created them. This is wrong - musicians, sound engineers and video editors deserve to be paid for their work just like everyone else."
The entertainment industry has been trying to bring down The Pirate Bay for almost a decade, without success.
Despite convicting and imprisoning the four founders, the website has continued to flourish, skipping from Dutch to Norwegian servers each time pressure was put on the governments of these countries to take the website down. Recently the file-sharing site switched to using magnet links, instead of torrents, and switched domains from .com to .se.
A long-standing source of entertainment for proprietors of The Pirate Bay has been a "Legal Threats" wall where legal threats correspondence from Hollywood, music labels and software companies is published, complete with sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek responses citing that they were protected by the Constitution of Sweden.
BT, which was ordered to block access to Newzbin 2 in July 2011 following legal action by the Motion Picture Association (MPA), has requested for more time to deal with the original complaint made by BPI.
Mr Justice Arnold previously ruled in February this year that both the users and operators of The Pirate Bay were infringing the copyrights of music companies, after the case was brought to the High Court by a group of major record labels including EMI, Sony and Virgin Records.
BPI chief Taylor added: "Sites like The Pirate Bay destroy jobs in the UK and undermine investment in new British artists. We urge anyone using The Pirate Bay to explore the many digital music services operating ethically and legally in the UK - especially those carrying the Music Matters trustmark."


text:
Why spray paint the lamp?
Because, let's be real, is there anything that isn't made better with a touch of gold? I think not.
After a rapid bath of gold, the lamps were ready to be moved back into the living room.
Hallelujah for gift cards and sales, am I right?


text:
Purple Floral Bhaiya Bhabhi Rakhi
Keeping the beauty of floral patterns and designs in mind, this unique rakhi comes in a purple finish sporting uniquely styled floral patterns all across.
Material: Thread, Beads, Metal
Weight: 15 gm
Size: Free Size
Returns Policy
- Our return policy lasts for 5 days from the date of delivery.
- To be eligible for return, the item must be unused and in original packing. Item(s) will be inspected before initiating the refund.
- Please e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.com to request a return.
- Once our inspection team approves the return, we will revert the card payments.
- Card payments will be reverted as soon as our inspection team approves the return.
- USA orders will be delivered within 7-14 business days.
- No shipping charge is applicable on orders above $99.
- Order value below $99 will be charged shipping fees of $20 will be charged.
- Minimum order value is $20.


text:
June 08, 2016
By Sam Smith, MD, Surgeon in Chief, Arkansas Children's Hospital
In the Emergency Department at Arkansas Children's Hospital, we see this scene replay over and over: A mom comes to us concerned about a spider bite on her infant's groin or upper leg. She first noticed it a few hours earlier during a diaper change. It's red, raised and hot. She checks it again in a couple of hours and finds it's nearly doubled in size and looks even angrier. Now it's time to load baby up and head to the ER.
It's a good thing she made the decision to go to the hospital because the spot will need to be opened and drained. But there's no reason to blame the innocent spider; her baby most likely has a soft tissue Staphylococcus aureus – or staph – infection.
We see staph infections year-round at ACH in every age we treat. From the baby described above to the burly 18-year-old athlete, no one wants the pain and aggravation that comes with this type of infection, but they can be tricky to avoid.
One thing we know is that germs love any breakdown of the skin and any warm wet environment. They hate dry. Diapers may be good at wicking, but organisms can be trapped in the lining of the diaper, and this is how little ones sometimes end up with staph. This is one reason why frequent diaper changes are important.
Football players may be exposed to the infection by wearing sweaty uniforms that rub against their skin. Anyone in wet clothes should change out of them as soon as possible to prevent the chaffing that can introduce staph to an open wound.
If you notice a bump, sore, or abrasion be cautious about using too much antibiotic ointment on it. Use regular soap and water instead and dry the area carefully without abrading any of the tissue around it. Too much ointment can allow skin breakdown and exacerbate the infection.
What are the signs of an abscess like staph? Most parents notice a hot, red swollen lump, sometimes with a whitish tip almost like a pimple, that is extremely tender to the touch and somewhat soft, like it's full of infected liquid. The pain will indicate that the child needs to be seen by a medical professional who can help open the abscess and drain the infection.
Most of the time, staph infections on the skin can he handled in the outpatient setting like an emergency room. An abscess that is large or in sensitive areas like the bottom or groin will likely require sedation before it can be opened and drained. Before you head to an emergency medical care provider to seek treatment of this kind of infection, your child should refrain from consuming food or liquids. Eating or drinking delays treatment since sedation requires an empty stomach. This decreases the risk of stomach contents getting into the windpipe or lungs. Failure to stop eating and or drinking is one of the most frequent reasons for delay in treatment and can convert a two- or three-hour trip to the emergency department to a 10-hour marathon.
If the procedure is done in the emergency department, the child will usually be able to go home afterwards. The patients who require an overnight stay in the hospital include those who have systemic signs of infection – like a fever – or high-risk individuals like newborns or diabetics.
It's possible that your child will need antibiotics as he or she recovers from a staph infection, and you should always follow your physician's directions for those.
The best thing you can do to prevent staph infections in your home and elsewhere is to ensure your family maintains careful hygiene habits. Wash hands frequently with soapy water for at least 30 seconds, especially after using the bathroom. Use clean, dry towels and never linger in sweaty wet clothes, including uniforms or swim suits. Clean and cover all open wounds, abrasions or sores.
Families shouldn't worry too much about staph in most public places because it's already in our bodies anyway. Your child without damaged skin isn't any more likely to contract a staph infection in his classroom or locker room than in any other location.
Most of the time children recover quickly from a basic staph infection once they receive medical treatment. But that doesn't make the scenario any less painful or scary, even for mom and dad.
Just remember: Next time you notice a hot, red bump, it's OK to blame staph. The itsy bitsy spider doesn't deserve all the notoriety!
Sam Smith, MD, is surgeon in chief at Arkansas Children's Hospital and a professor of Surgery at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. He writes a column each week covering a variety of kids' medical concerns. If you have a topic you'd like him to consider addressing, email email@example.com.
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Moderator: Cartographers
And shouldn't this be called something like greater scandanavia?
drunkmonkey wrote:I'm filing a C&A report right now. Its nice because they have a drop-down for "jefjef".
natty_dread wrote:Let me explain my reasoning. Scandinavia only consists of Norway, Sweden and Denmark, and maybe a bit of Finland. I started out wanting to make a map of the Nordic countries (Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Iceland) but then I thought to include Estonia because they're culturally very very close to Finland, they're practically same people, they just got separated from each other somewhere along the way. So now that I put in Estonia I couldn't even call this the Nordic Countries anymore, so I decided on Northern Europe.
natty_dread wrote:v.2
imageshack is acting up at the moment, the image should be visible in a moment.
damn, I'll try uploading again...
now it should work.
natty_dread wrote:There will be, check the previous versions. I just haven't yet decided on the bonuses, so I'll let it be for now.
Anyone have any suggestions for the continent boni?
I don't have a spreadsheet software installed (I think) so could someone run the bonus calculator spreadsheet for me?
grandin wrote:Great start, natty!
A couple of suggestions:
In my opinion, the map is way to dark. As porkenbeans said, the water needs to be contrasted from the land. I also think that the land areas should have a more 'natural' feel to the colors.
The color scheme combined with the style of the legend makes the whole thing feel like an old worn-down soviet military base.
Regions, Sweden;
Splitting Sweden into only two regions might work, but not where it is done at the moment. Ask a swede where the northern parts of sweden begin, and he might say anything from Gävle to Mora or Sundsvall, but not many would agree that it is as far north as you've drawn the line - and no one would agree that Sveg is in the south of Sweden.
It would be more accurate to use the commonly accepted region of Norrland
The best option would be to use three regions, namely Norrland, Svealand and Götaland
//Really looking forward to someone actually finishing a Norden map
drunkmonkey wrote:I'm filing a C&A report right now. Its nice because they have a drop-down for "jefjef".
Estonia isn't considered part of Europe. Denmark is barely but is also part of Scandanavia & Nordic countries. Iceland is Nordic.
AndyDufresne wrote:This map has a long way to go visually.
Mechanically, the game play we'll have to delve into...
Users browsing this forum: No registered users


text:
The Flint Hills Community Band will perform a free outdoor concert at 6:30 p.m. Sunday at the Kaw Mission in Council Grove.
The program will include selections by Andrew Lloyd Webber, a Frank Sinatra medley, songs from Paint Your Wagon, and theme songs from Hogan's Heroes and Secret Agent Man.
The concert is a fundraiser for the Voices of the Wind People pageant. Ice cream, shaved ice, and homemade desserts will be served, and donations will be accepted.
Attendees are encouraged to bring lawn chairs or blankets for seating. Kaw Mission is located at 500 N. Mission Street, Council Grove. For more information, call (620) 767-5410.


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A look at the girls basketball tournament in districts involving local teams.
A look at the girls basketball tournament in districts involving local teams. Winner and runner-up advance to state playoffs.
When: Wednesday-Friday (all games 7 p.m.)
Where: Flagler Palm Coast
Matchups: Wednesday — (3) Jacksonville Sandalwood vs. (2) FPC. Friday, final — Sandalwood-FPC winner vs. (1) Jacksonville Mandarin.
Outlook: This district could be up for grabs. Mandarin beat FPC in Jacksonville by three, but the Bulldogs won at FPC by 10. Maybe home-court advantage will push the Bulldogs to a district title.
When: Tuesday-Saturday
Where: Longwood Lyman
Matchups: Tuesday, quarterfinal — (4) Oviedo Hagerty vs. (5) Altamonte Springs Lake Brantley, 7 p.m. Wednesday, quarterfinal — (3) Lake Mary vs. (6) Lyman, 6 p.m.; (2) Sanford Seminole vs. (7) Spruce Creek, 7:30 p.m. Friday, semifinals — Lake Mary-Lyman winner vs. Seminole-Spruce Creek winner, 6 p.m.; Hagerty-Lake Brantley winner vs. (1) DeLand, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, final — Semifinal winners
Outlook: Spruce Creek lost to Seminole twice in the regular season, by 37 in Sanford and 15 at home. Seminole has won 16 of its last 17 games. DeLand (24-2) has won its last 14 games but split with Seminole, each winning at home.
When: Tuesday-Friday
Where: At higher seed
Matchups: Tuesday — (3) University at (2) New Smyrna Beach, 7 p.m. Friday, final — University-NSB winner at (1) Melbourne Viera, 7 p.m.
Outlook: New Smyrna Beach beat University twice this season, but this matchup should be intense with a playoff berth on the line. Hard to imagine either beating Viera (22-5 through Thursday's games), though.
When: Tuesday-Saturday
Where: Seabreeze
Matchups: Tuesday, play-in — (4) Mainland vs. (5) Pine Ridge, 6 p.m. Thursday, semifinals — Mainland-Pine Ridge winner vs. (1) Orlando Edgewater, 6 p.m.; (2) Seabreeze vs. (3) Deltona, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, final — Semifinal winners, 7 p.m.
Outlook: Seabreeze beat Deltona twice by more than 20 points each time. This time they'll meet with a playoff berth on the line. Edgewater is by far the cream of the crop here.
When: Tuesday-Thursday
Where: Ponte Vedra
Matchups: Tuesday, semifinals — (4) Matanzas vs. (1) Ponte Vedra Nease, 6 p.m.; (3) St. Augustine Menendez vs. (2) Ponte Vedra, 7:30 p.m. Thursday, final — Semifinal winners, 7 p.m.
Outlook: No one has even been in the ballpark with Nease this season, so this should be a slam dunk for the Panthers.
When: Wednesday-Saturday
Where: Orlando Bishop Moore
Matchups: Wednesday, semifinals — (2) Atlantic vs. (3) Orlando Jones, 5:30 p.m.; (1) Orlando Lake Highland Prep vs. (4) Bishop Moore, 7 p.m. Saturday, final — Semifinal winners, 7 p.m.
Outlook: Atlantic beat Jones by just seven points and lost to Lake Highland Prep by four, so all three could potentially win this district. Atlantic winning in the semifinals is not a given, though.
When: Wednesday-Friday
Where: Oviedo Master's
Matchups: Wednesday, semifinals — (4) Warner Christian vs. (1) Father Lopez, 5 p.m.; (2) Master's vs. (3) Lake Mary Prep, 7 p.m. Friday, final — Semifinal winners, 7 p.m.
Outlook: Hard to imagine anyone staying with Father Lopez. The Green Wave beat each regular-season district opponent by 32 or more points. Unfortunately for Warner Christian, it gets Lopez in the first round.
When: Tuesday-Saturday
Where: Jacksonville First Coast Christian
Matchups: Tuesday — (2) Calvary Christian vs. (3) First Coast Christian, 6 p.m. Final, Saturday — Calvary Christian-First Coast Christian winner vs. (1) Jacksonville Seacoast Christian, 7 p.m.
Outlook: Seacoast Christian goes into the tournament with just one loss, but the good news for the other two teams is one win gets them into the state playoffs.
When: Monday-Friday
Where: Winter Park Geneva
Matchups: Monday, play-in — (4) Orlando Faith Christian vs. (5) Orlando Christian Prep, 6 p.m. Tuesday, semifinals — (2) Trinity Christian vs. (3) Winter Park International Community, 5 p.m.; Faith Christian-OCP winner vs. (1) Geneva, 7 p.m. Friday final — Semifinal winners, 7 p.m.
Outlook: Trinity Christian beat International Community twice, but both were close games so maybe the third time will be a charm for International Community. Trinity Christian lost to Geneva by eight points in the regular season, so the Eagles winning it all is not out of the question.


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|CjOverkill Updates CjOverkill updates, patches and fixes
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CjOverkill 5.2.2 released
CjOverkill 5.2.2 has been released today.
This is mainly a bugfix and compatibility release.
These are the changes from previous versions:
1 ) CjOverkill now ships encoded with Zend and IonCube.
2 ) CjOverkill now tries to enforce a correct error_reporting setting in case the server has an unproperly configured php.
3 ) The toplist generation setting is now properly shown.
4 ) A specific function has been implemented in order to sanityze variables in the admin panel. This prevents some integrity errors under specific PHP configurations.
5 ) Fixed a bug that prevented proper trades copying from one site to another when MySQL was not returning properly escaped strings.
6 ) Fixed a small bug that was reporting incorrect Country Log OUT values for special trades under specific PHP configurations.
To upgrade just replace all your CjOverkill files except the cj-conf.inc.php and then login into your cjadmin. Follow the upgrade wizard instructions and you are done.
More information into the UPGRADE.txt file that comes with the script.
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Linear Mode


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Post-Newtown: 'It's my job to die'
Taxpayers have invested tens of millions to upgrade school security in the year since the horror at Sandy Hook Elementary School.
But our children may not be any safer.
Story Continued Below
Friday's shooting at Arapahoe High School in Colorado is a chilling reminder that violence can still erupt out of the blue. But also deeply troubling to safety experts is the fear that these incidents instill in other schools — fear that too often leads teachers and administrators to overreact. When every potential threat is seen as a precursor to mass murder, fear can override common sense and prompt school staff to make rash decisions that endanger everyone, according to security analysts and psychologists who have studied school shootings.
( PHOTOS: Newtown school shooting remembered)
Again and again in the past year, security consultant Michael Dorn has seen school personnel make reckless decisions in crisis simulations: to accost a menacing man approaching a playground from afar rather than hustling the children inside; to lunge at a student threatening suicide with a gun rather than talk it out from a distance; to gather textbooks to hurl at a potential intruder before taking the basic precaution of locking the classroom door.
"It's our consensus that the level of emergency preparedness has actually degraded since Sandy Hook," said Dorn, executive director of Safe Havens International, a nonprofit consulting firm based in Macon, Ga.
Dorn supervises 30 analysts who run thousands of crisis simulations a year at hundreds of schools. They have seen a sharp shift since Adam Lanza shot his way into the elementary school in Newtown, Conn., exactly one year ago, killing 20 first-graders, the principal, the school psychologist, two teachers and two teacher's aides. School staff now seem to expect every incident to escalate into an armed assault, Dorn said, and many resolve to respond with aggression — even when the far safer course would be to back off and call for help.
( Also on POLITICO: Gun control battle moves to Main Street)
"They say, 'It's my job to die,'" Dorn said. "We didn't see that prior to Sandy Hook."
Dewey Cornell, a clinical psychologist and education professor at the University of Virginia, sees another danger as well. Despite the grim headlines, the rate of violent assaults has been dropping sharply for decades at the nation's 100,000 schools. That means the chance of gunfire at any one building is vanishingly remote.
Yet schools girding for the worst are spending scarce resources on armed guards and flexing zero tolerance policies that require suspending students for nearly any infraction. All of that alienates students and raises tensions, he said — not exactly a recipe for a safe, secure environment.
"We've created this idea of school violence that is grossly exaggerated. That's a very costly misperception," said Cornell, a lead author on a recent report on gun violence for the American Psychological Association. He'd rather see funds go to hire more counselors and provide more services to address students' day-to-day concerns, such as bullying, or to improve conditions in their neighborhoods.
( PHOTOS: Politicians with guns)
"We're misappropriating millions of dollars to fortify our schools, when our children are in far more danger in our homes and our communities," Cornell said.
Even those who see a solid need for some security upgrades agree that districts have often gone overboard. The consulting group IHS predicts that the market for school and campus security equipment will jump from nearly $550 million this year to $720 million next year to more than $900 million by 2017.
( Also on POLITICO: Full education policy coverage)
"There has been a lot of needless expenditure," said Paul Timm, president of RETA Security, Inc., in Lemont, Ill.
He understands the impulse, though: "Everyone's heart was broken by Sandy Hook."
Some security upgrades are relatively inexpensive, such as improving exterior lighting or retrofitting classroom doors so teachers can lock them swiftly from the inside. Others are more elaborate: Window reinforcements to prevent glass from shattering. Safe rooms. Panic buttons. Software that scans visitor IDs and runs them through a law-enforcement database.
A middle school in Shady Cove, Ore., set up a network of surveillance cameras that provide live video feeds of every classroom and hallway to the sheriff's department the moment a staff member triggers an alarm. Teachers in Sweetwater, Texas, have emergency alert software on their laptops so they can call police with a click. A charter school in Oakland, Calif., is testing a $15,000 "shot spotter" system that transmits information about the exact location of any gunshots fired — plus the school's floor plans — to police at the push of a button.
Dorn supports some of the safety upgrades but warns that better training is every bit as important as high-tech systems. He has seen principals so primed to call a lockdown that they neglect to evacuate the building when a fire alarm sounds. He's seen teachers so well-trained to use the panic button in a crisis that they dash to the office to push it when a child starts choking in the cafeteria instead of rushing to administer first aid.
"We've inadvertently conditioned people in this country to the extreme," Dorn said.


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We heart Style Me Pretty here at Laurie Arons Special Events, so we are thrilled Abby and her team shared Ruthie + Ian's gorgeous summer wedding yesterday. Working with this couple and their families has been one of my favorite planning experiences to date. Our team of spectacular vendors pulled out all the stops to make this bride's dream a reality, and of course, Jose Villa captured it to perfection.
Stop on over at SMP to indulge in it all!


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Revving for the Mobility Race
A few days before Mobile World Congress, the world's elite Formula 1 teams tested their cars and skills at the Circuit de Catalunya in Barcelona. F-1 racing is a thrilling blend of courage, precision, technology, and teamwork: the same things service providers use to compete in the race to deploy seamless, profitable mobility services.
This year was my first time at Mobile World Congress, and I got a rush from it as if I were driving an F-1. Cisco CEO John Chambers set the pace for the event, saying, "We are now entering the post-macrocell era, where small cells also will play a critical role in delivering the next generation mobile Internet."
As part of this shift, Cisco extends its M.O.VE reference architecture for service provider mobility with two major announcements at the show. We announced the industry's first standards-based small cell solution, providing coverage and capacity solutions built off Wi-Fi and Femto technologies. Our Cisco Small Cell Gateway serves as the back-end control, integrating 2G/3G/4G with Wi-Fi and Femto. It's built on Cisco ASR 5000 Series packet core. Second, we announced the Cisco Next Generation Hotspot, the first Wireless Broadband Alliance (WBA)-validated implementation of the Hotspot 2.0 standard.
So given the hype around Small Cells and Wi-Fi at MWC, what makes Cisco different? I present you the following:
- Real products. Real customers. Cisco has real solutions, shipping today, and real customer deployments. At Mobile World Congress, we announced six small cell customers, including: BT, Shaw, Portugal Telecom, PCCW, True, and Smart; and six packet-core customers including: Magyar Telekom, LGU +, Vodafone Hungary, Telefonica Spain, Bell Mobility, and du. Along with these customers, we announced our partnership with Google and Samsung, which also support our small cell solution.
- Market Momentum. Cisco is first to market Next Generation Hotspot, which enables carrier-grade, seamless roaming between cellular and Wi-Fi networks. It includes an upgrade solution for most of the 12 million existing Cisco Access Points already deployed worldwide.
- Standards based. Cisco has always pushed standards-based solutions, supporting multivendor interoperability and longevity. Cisco is the principal co-author of the Wi-Fi Alliance (WFA) Hotspot 2.0 specification and developed the first WBA-validated Next Generation Hotspot solution from access points to clients, shipping today.
- Multivendor technology integration. Cisco is shipping proven, purpose-built mobility platforms that integrate heterogeneous access networks with licensed and unlicensed radios, adding automatic roaming and application-aware quality of service (QoS) features for premium video and hosted collaboration services.
Taken together, these advantages reinforce the value of an architectural approach to mobile internetworking. Our architectures address your issues for coverage, capacity and compelling user experiences. Cisco is transforming the mobile Internet with our latest small cell and Next Generation Hotspot solutions, backed by our intelligent packet core networks that support cloud services, positioning our service provider customers to rev their engines in the race to new monetization opportunities.
As for me, I'm all fueled up with ideas and enthusiasm for the year ahead, but I am definitely looking forward to the work leading up to next year's Mobile World Congress.
For more information:
Cisco SP Wi-Fi Video Data Sheet (please see video below)
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1 Comments
Mobile World Congress is the best venue to introduce the latest development in mobile internet technology.


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According to some new British study, 8 out of 10 people have abandoned New Year's Resolutions. But we don't care. We want to hear yours.
Whether it's an end to chalk-eating or a vow to take that home-butchering course, we're eager to know what your lofty aims are for 2011. January may be an arbitrary time to make a life-change (Spring has always seemed a hell of a lot more logical) but, hey, it's tradition! So spill it — we will too — and we'll run your creative, funny and heartwarming resolutions as New Year's inspiration for the rest of us!
New Year, New You? Eight Out Of Ten No Longer Even Bother To Make Resolutions [Daily Mail]
[Image via Shutterstock]