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In this week's episode I have the privilege of talking with Michelle Horton, a certified biblical counselor, a woman full of grace and wisdom. Listen in as we have a live Q&A discussing a range of questions submitted from women in The Joyful Mourning Community, real women who have walked through pregnancy or infant loss. We discuss questions like: "Is it ok to grieve miscarriages and early losses" and "How do I respond to hurtful comments after loss" and "I feel so much guilt and shame over the loss of my baby, what do I do?"
Today's episode is incredibly helpful to woman grieving as well as friends and family members of those grieving.
Michelle Horton has been on-staff with Heart Song for seven years. Prior to moving to the Tampa Bay area, she served as a counselor for Heart Song in Washington, D.C. She has a B.A. in Speech and Communication Studies from Clemson University and her M. Div in Biblical Counseling from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. Michelle counsels a wide variety of issues with a special interest in counseling those who struggle with PTSD, survivors of sexual abuse, grief, eating disorders, addictions, relational and emotional issues.
Email Michelle at email@example.com. For more information about Heart Song Counseling click here.
Ashlee: 00:00 Hi friends welcome to this week's episode of The Joyful Mourning Community. This week Michelle Horton is joining me. She is a trained professional biblical counselor who has really spent a lot of time with me and I am so grateful for her expertise and the good things that she's going to share with us today. So welcome to the podcast Michelle.
Michelle: 00:20 It's good to be here. Thank you.
Ashlee: 00:23 I'm so grateful that you took some time to spend with us today. So what we're going to do today is going to be a little bit different than our podcast with other moms. Today we're going to just do a little bit of Q and A from the women who are in The Joyful Mourning Community who have submitted questions questions that are applicable to their life. Kind of after a loss and according to their journey with grief. So we're going to be all over the place so yeah that's the nature of a Q and A. But first before we kind of jump into the Q and A, Michelle will you just tell us a little bit about who you are and the kind of work that you do. Absolutely. So.
Michelle: 01:02 I am what they call a local counselor which means that not only am I caring for individuals who are going through things like that loss but you know I'm caring for them not only practical but also spiritually taking a look at what's going on with their heart bringing things for the Lord and just really walking alongside him down. And I've had the joy of being able to walk with women through all sorts of issues in life all sorts of struggles and hardships and so it's just a beautiful thing to see the Gospel at work.
Ashlee: 01:30 That's awesome. And I can attest to Michelle's giftedness and her wisdom. I think we spent almost two years together. It was a long time. I was I was quite the project.
Ashlee: 01:46 It was just a really amazing thing to spend some time with somebody different than a girlfriend. I'm speaking into my life and into my problems which led me to my actual first question which is tell us what you think the difference between strong friendships and then a professionally trained counselor. So like why both are important and what roles they play. I think a lie that I believe for a long time was that because I had community who were who's walking through my grief I didn't need expert help.
Ashlee: 02:25 So maybe tell us what you think about that.
New Speaker: 02:28 Yeah I think you know I think a scripture when it says that we are at war with those who mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice. And I think that's where our community is huge. And so when it's really important for women to have those solid godly sisters the ones that aren't trying to just give them cliche biblical answers but that just cry with them and and be with them and walk with them and I think that's absolutely the first step. I think way before a trained counselor can get in there and really assessed that need needs to be met. And so you know I think that is huge because your friends know you while your community knows you well they're walking with you and they can practically be there in a way that a professional counselor cannot. However that being said a professional counselor one of the benefits is that they are objective.
New Speaker: 03:16 They are not in your family they're not your friends circle and so you can face some pretty hard things that you might be worried sharing with say your spouse because maybe you're concerned with how your spouse would be carrying that burden. And of course I'm a huge advocate for talking about things with your spouse. But I think a counselor can help you to have some structure can normalize some of the struggles and you know just provide a little bit more was down from an objective viewpoint. And that can be helpful. But I think more than anything just having that safe space to be honest and share with that counselor is really important in the healing process.
Ashlee: 03:53 Yeah I agree. And I saw that firsthand in my own life because we knew we were in and still are strong community and have strong friendships. We were just really blessed by the friends who chose to dove into our grief and they loved us really well. But there is just a big difference. I have a friend who was who went through a really hard divorce. And I remember her explaining to me just the value that her counselor brought to the table and how different it was than her best friends because she said her best friends would come and just let her almost swallow.
Ashlee: 04:34 Her friends loved her so much that they didn't want to like push her cause her any more pain whereas her counselor was the one who is objectively like ok girl it's time to get up. It's time to get move in an hour.
New Speaker: 04:47 You know like I said I like your best friend just me never want you to feel any more pain or to make it any harder. So that having an objective person in conjunction with those friends and community I think is just really helpful for sure.
Ashlee: 05:03 Yeah I agree.
Ashlee: 05:05 OK so let's switch to some of these questions that were submitted over on the joyful morning community. I'm going to read it exactly the way she wrote it and I definitely understood and could sympathize and empathize with her but she said for earlier losses in pregnancy. Is it OK to grieve.
Ashlee: 05:25 And she knows the answer to that is yes. But she feels like I'm in a culture where there was no nobody else knew this baby nobody else maybe even saw her you know her body physically change and there was no you know tangibly they never saw this life. Is it OK to grieve. She said I feel like so many women feel like they're overreacting to miscarriage and other early losses especially within the first trimester. It would be nice to hear professional affirm that we've been through what we've been through is worthy of our grief.
Michelle: 06:03 Absolutely. It is. And you know the thing I think about is when we're talking about windows life began. So if we're going to hold to that place of life begins at conception then is that not a life worth grieving and. And so I think it's really one of the common things that I see women do is we look around and we compare ourselves to other people and we say well OK I'm putting this in quotes because obviously this is not accurate but I lost my match out at two months and here this woman over here lost her seven months she has a reason to grieve not me and or we feel ridiculous. And then the really hard thing is if you have people in your life who just want you to be OK. And so they sort of brushed aside. Well it was just a miscarriage but it wasn't just a miscarriage.
Michelle: 06:51 It was a life that the were knitted together in your womb and to not Grieg's that will be to ignore those sweet moments too that you had even if you didn't carry that child long enough to feel kicks and things like that. There is a sweetness in that and that needed to be mourned so absolutely these women need to be grieving and they need to get that care for themselves whether you know professional and community wise to help them walk through that process. But yeah I think that temptation to minimize our pain. It's straight from the enemy it's not from the war.
Ashlee: 07:28 Yeah. And I think what you said about if their family members around as her friends who are kind of pushing along trying to push a longer griefer push aside or grief that can lead to a lot of hurt or even guilt and shame because what am I doing something wrong.
Ashlee: 07:48 How I feel like there were sorts of questions they were kind of ordered along these lines. But how would you how how should we talk to family members and friends who are who we feel like might be pushing Assad aside our grief or maybe trying to rush us along in that process.
Michelle: 08:08 Yeah I think I would appeal. I would believe the best in them to understand that they're really I mean people are uncomfortable with suffering. My job is to walk alongside of people my ministry is walk alongside of people in suffering and have always want to just end it. But I would love to be able to say that a thing like so you don't hurt anymore and so I think acknowledging that with the family member I know you love me. I know you want me to be OK. But for me to truly be ok I need you to give me the space to process this and to understand that it doesn't look the same for each person because that's something else that well-meaning family members can do. They can say well Sally over here you know she had the same thing and she's OK and she's just moving on and it doesn't mean that Sally necessarily grieved properly or maybe the way Sally's wired she grieved in a different way.
Michelle: 08:58 But I think just acknowledging the good of what that family member is going for. And then you know but then asking for space. And I think also just directing them to websites like yours enough to joyful mourning and saying you know giving that family member to read some of the other women's stories. I think that really helps people to enter in to that suffering and to understand just how hard that is because I think it's especially hard if you have friends or family members who have not gone through a miscarriage. I'm not saying you have to to fully understand it because I haven't and I try to understand it. I know I can't do that. But there are some people that are like well what's the big deal. Just move on and they just haven't really entered into that kind of pain before. So you know something like joyful mourning can help them to do that.
Michelle: 09:45 And it's huge and just another side note I was thinking of Jesus that Lazarus's tomb. And it says that he went there just to get nerdy for a moment and that that word there that Greek word is actually the sound that a person. It's a combination of wailing it's snorting it sobbing. It's this. It's what a person does when they hear the worst news of their life. And that's what Jesus did. And what's important about that is he knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. And so we talked to Jesus the way we talked to ourselves were saying get it together buddy you're going to raise him from the dead. Just a second what's your deal. But Jesus entered into that pain knowing that it was going to be gone in a moment where and training that pain because it's not going to be gone in a moment.
Ashlee: 10:37 Yeah that's good. That's really good. I think a lot of times we can be hurt by family members or friends by through things that people have said.
Ashlee: 10:47 I have talked a lot about what does it look like to show grace to those people in helping them understand because like you said they if they haven't walked through it they may not fully be able to grasp. But we can instead of going into it very almost self-righteous or you know with a chip on her shoulder like nobody can understand. So I'm just going to be hurt by everyone around me. Just asking yourself what does it look like to show grace when the people say really dumb things. And I loved what you said just like Hey I know you love me and I know that you probably just don't want me to feel or be in this pain anymore. But this hurts right now. And just having the guts and bravery to say something like that I know that's so hard.
Ashlee: 11:43 I know that's so hard but just being willing to dive into that world. It shows the person grace in that you're not going to grow bitter towards them for saying the wrong thing and you're all. It also shows them Grace because you're teaching them what it looks like to mourn with somebody who's mourning. You know you're you're educating them on what it looks like for to minister to someone who's hurting. So I loved what you said about just signal edging in that and believing the best in people just because they say the wrong thing doesn't mean they don't love you or they don't care. And I think if we choose to believe the best it will help her it will prevent. It will help prevent her hurts from becoming extra bitter.
Ashlee: 12:27 Yeah. I don't know if you've any thoughts anymore thoughts about that. I would agree with that.
Michelle: 12:31 And I think one thing to just to say to people is you know a lot of times people will use scripture and they're trying to be helpful. But I call it Job's friendliness you know and so Job's friends were trying real hard and a lot of the stuff they were saying about God was true. However the application was all over the place and it was wrong. And so I do think just you know letting people know. So say you do have that family member that is trying to wrap everything up in a nice little bow are you shooting scriptures at you and it's hurtful before you even share with them to say hey I want to talk about this with you. Would you. It would really bless me if you could just listen them today and just know how to be praying for me. And so I think letting them know expectations ahead of time can be good too. But I know that for the people that we are purposefully communicating with there are going to be people that we run into in the community. I mean we can't be proactive like that because we don't know. But yeah I love what you said about it protects against bitterness and that's that's a biggie.
Ashlee: 13:33 You know it's so interesting about that you mentioned Job. I recently read a book called "Walking with God through your pain and suffering" I think. And he talks about Job and I never realized that in the book of Job at the at the end after his friends have just like tortured him to death with these like you said there were truths about who God was but they were misapplied. And you know my husband talks a lot about we can have truth. But when it's given in the wrong timing and without grace it is not in love. It is not helpful in job actually calls these friends miserable comforters like towards the end of job which is so funny because I think anybody who's worked through grief knows we know we can like point or hurt people and say that was a miserable comforter not you did. I hope my heart moves at all and we can do that even with truth like we can just you know it's just not loving. Yeah. So yup. Totally agree. Which is a good segue into one of the questions.
Ashlee: 14:43 It was more of a statement but just kind of how to handle the when people say things like you or you but you're still young you still have time on your side or it just wasn't meant to be your be patient. Your time will come. And she she literally said it's like fingers fingernails on a chalkboard. But it just hurts her hurt so badly. So my question is twofold how should a woman who is grieving respond to those types of comments. Do we respond. Should we say anything in those moments. What should a response be. And then on the other side if you are listening and your friend of someone who's grieving maybe what's an all a better thing to say or why should we not even say those things. Like I'm thinking off the top of my head your time will come. You should never we shouldn't say that like that may be true. So that's two different questions. I love your thoughts about ours.
Michelle: 15:46 Yeah I think it goes back to when people say things like that. You know I think it depends on the closeness of that relationship. I think of it's a really good friend and a family member. I think again that's where we go back to them and say hey I know you're wanting to encourage me and I love you for that. That's actually not helpful. And here's why I think that's huge. Now if it's someone let's say you run into somebody at the grocery store or at church and they say something like that I think if it's if it's a one and done situation I think that's a moment where we can take it to the Lord and you know and just talk about it with another safe. Brown but just hope that that stops. What if that person has a pattern of doing that.
Michelle: 16:26 Again I think we should go back to that idea of I understand that you're trying to encourage me. I appreciate that. But grief is grief no matter how old we are. You know we in the same way that we went out and say to the daughter of 30 year old woman who loses her mother. Well at least you were 30 when you lost your mom. That's way better than you know if you had been five and it's like oh yeah but my heart still hurts and I see people do this a lot with things or you know it's a 19 year old that was engaged and I broke it off and is like oh well there's other fish in the sea. It's like. But this is a heart that is hurting. And you know so if we're if I'm the friend of someone who's going through this I need to be asking the question how is God looking at this person's heart.
Michelle: 17:10 And God does not dismiss our emotions even when our emotions are angry towards him. You know we see that God engages with that and he has patience and he's abounding and steadfast love. And so I think you know recognizing we're doing things like oh you're young and your time will come. I mean like you said that's not a promise for a lot of people yes there will be other children but for some. No. And we also don't put our hope in things beyond our circumstances change and we put our hope in God who walks with us in that healing process.
Michelle: 17:44 So again it's just people are so uncomfortable with suffering they'll do anything. And it's one of the first things I pray for when I have a friend that loses an infant as I pray against the well-meaning you know dumb dumbs. Going to say some things that are just not and their heart is beautiful and trying to help but it's just oh I pray against that because it's so devastating. And the tongue has the power of life and death.
Michelle: 18:11 And when people say things to that to us like that it does make us feel ashamed that you were referencing earlier and that can really delay the healing process.
Ashlee: 18:21 I love what you said that you pray for them. I likewise. I actually I pray for the moms who actually have are experiencing this loss that they would be able to have grace for the people who are going to say they're really dumb things because it just adds this like bizarre layer of grief there.
Ashlee: 18:42 I mean like deal with these like yucky conversations that it make makes you relive pain. And I don't say that to say that we don't want to dive into conversations that are hard. That's not at all what I'm saying. So I don't want to just want to throw that caveat out. What do you think is a better a better way.
Ashlee: 19:04 Like how how would you advise a friend or family member of somebody who's grieving to kind of talk about these things like what. Instead of saying things like you're oh you're younger you have time on your side or it just wasn't meant to be what are you what are better ways to engage grief because we know that they're probably saying those things because it's hard. It's messy. And we like you said you just want to say something that will take the pain away or something that will help alleviate how hard it feels right now. So we know that's why they're probably saying those things. They just want to make it better but it doesn't. So what would be a better thing to say?
Michelle: 19:46 I think being honest and saying gosh I just really I want to be I want to say the perfect thing that would make you feel better but I know I can't. It sounds like you're really hurting today and I think just meeting them at you know emotionally where they're at. Or you know if they walk up to their friend and today that grieving friend is anger or angry at God or angry at other people who seem to have it so easy or whatever and just seem to like me. Yeah I hear you. And you know I know I don't know how you feel but I'm angry too and just entering into that emotion with them and acknowledging where they're at instead of trying to fix them. And and I really do think one of the best things we can say is I don't know how you feel but I am trying so hard to put myself in your shoes and I am hurting for you because I love you. But I am one of the worst things that people say when they're trying to enter into suffering as I know how you feel.
Michelle: 20:45 When I lost my dog last week blah blah blah blah blah and it's like yeah but you know what we could have gone through the same exact situation and I still don't know how you feel because we're going to process it differently but I feel like those words I know how you feel have done more damage to people and the healing process than probably anything else because it's insulting.
Ashlee: 21:08 Yeah and you know what's interesting is that it takes. It made me think about what you said earlier about how we compare so if someone says I know how you feel then all of a sudden you're like oh we'll you know how I feel then I processing this the same way you did. Am I doing this correctly. Like now we have this like strange gauge of how we're supposed to be doing. And it just it puts these expectations on us that are just false expectations. So yeah I agree I agree with the. I know how you feel is not helpful. I was doing an interview with one of our guests a few weeks ago and I was talking about what it looked like for people in her life to just show up you know and and to gracefully interrupt in a way that was just really helpful.
Ashlee: 22:01 You know they would just show up at our door and I was telling this story about a young she was a college freshman. And so we had I would have literally just met her in August or September and my son died in October and November. And she showed up at the door. I didn't know her very well. She was probably 18 or 19 years old and she just when I opened the door she just wept and I just thought what a beautiful picture of morning with those who mourn because she didn't fully understand she was in a totally different season of life and yet she put herself in a position to say I love you and I'm hurting with you. And I'm I'm here and forever like she probably has no idea you know what that meant so much. But that was more helpful than anybody trying to counsel me in those days. Yeah. Just. Sure.
Michelle: 22:58 Yeah. And I think you're absolutely right, it goes back to mourning with those who mourn. Just kind of as an asterisk to the side of that though for any family members and friends that are listening to this right now and they're walking with them. I do think though it's also an important balance of mourning with them in those early stages but not to the point where they are then having to turn around and comfort you. They have. And it sounds like the way that woman you know mourned with you was beautiful. But I have heard situations where family members or friends would be like just sobbing nonstop and to be a month or so later. And so every time the person who had lost her child was going to be with that family member she was then or that friend she has been having to comfort them and tell them it's going to be OK and it's like she doesn't have the bandwidth for that.
Michelle: 23:49 And so there is a balance of also knowing when and it's OK as a friend and a family member it's ok also to say you know I need to go get a little professional counseling to know how to work through this myself because they do need to work through this. They're watching their friends or their loved one. Go through something horrible but if it's getting to the point where they're being comforted by the person grieving we've got a problem. So I think that's that's very helpful.
Ashlee: 24:17 Yeah.
Ashlee: 24:19 Yeah I have lots of thoughts we could talk about that again, might be a good topic in the future.
Ashlee: 24:25 I think the biggest thing if your friend or family member just being really mindful that the other person is if you're feeling that weight of emotions the other person who has lost this baby is feeling more weight of that. And so I'm just being aware that carrying that much emotion into a situation into a conversation just adds to their burden that they're currently carrying on. And sometimes I think that can be if there's like familial things that happen and there's people who might be thinking more of themselves than others and that sort of thing in those situations and so just being cognizant one of the most helpful things in in relationships when there's somebody grieving is is putting their needs above your own in whatever it looks like.
Ashlee: 25:27 And that's how people people loved us so well. You know even bringing a meal over is is putting my need above theirs because it's inconvenient to bring people food and you know it's not easy it costs money and it takes time and that's just like a simple thing but praying for us in the middle of the night when they would get woken up and be so hurting for us like that was putting our needs above their own. And so even a situation like that where if somebody is if the if the you know friend or family member is crying and wailing and just so upset to the point where the person who's grieving is having to comfort that person that they're not really putting their needs above their own in order to minister to the one who's grieving. I don't know if that made any sense.
Michelle: 26:13 That absolutely makes sense. And I think it is it's totally that reminder of if they are at that place then they do need to go and get some professional help to help them work to their grief and they're also not failing as a family member as a friend but they need to understand they can be honest with the person that's grieving and say you know what I'm realizing that my grief is probably not blessing you at this point. And so I'm going to go talk about it with somebody so if I'm not around as much know that I love you and I'm praying for you but I just don't want to add to what you're going through. But again I don't want to devalue the beauty of crying alongside of someone and I think you know you really word that while there's a difference in mourning alongside of someone and then for lack of a better term you know taking control of the emotions in the sense of now they're comforting you. You know so now you're overwhelming their emotions. So yeah.
Ashlee: 27:08 I think we have we have a little bit of time for another question. Terminus switch gears a little bit. One thing that I knew there were several women who commented and I know from my own experience just most women who experience the loss of a baby no matter what the circumstances were feel a massive amount of guilt and shame over that you know. Could we have done something different. Should I have done something different. And then you know people aren't exactly helpful in that it was heartbreaking. There were women in the from one community who were talking about family members even saying like just the dumbest things like oh you drinking that soda led to losing that baby. Which just adds to that guilt and shame that we already are experiencing. But I guess what would you tell a mother who's experiencing the guilt and the shame.
Michelle: 28:10 So ultimately I go to job 42 to so job says to God I know that no plan of yours can be thwarted and it can't. So that means our bodies cannot change God's plans. And David even talks about that before he was ever even born. God had numbered his days.
Michelle: 28:31 And so remembering ultimately that God had already numbered that sweet baby's day.
Michelle: 28:39 And so there in this woman's body mom's body or the activities she did and those kinds of things couldn't change that plan. This was always God's plan. Now why God allows us to experience that kind of loss. You know. It's still mind boggling to me except that he's got any good and we walk with him. But. But you know remembering that part but I did read an interesting article in The Washington Post actually that was talking about Christian women stop shaming me. And it was written by a Christian woman and she was saying OK great you could breastfeed. Awesome. My body wouldn't let me. OK great. You have the body. The baby naturally. Awesome. OK great. You actually carried your baby full term and mine when it stopped telling me how I've failed as a woman and I thought wow for that to make it to the Washington Post is huge but that's the kind of thing that well-meaning people say you know I can think of women who had miscarriages and they were told Oh you just wouldn't work out this would have never happened. And so then they are literally paralyzed. Am I not supposed to workout anymore. Am I the reason why my baby didn't make it. And there is just that guilt and shame that is there that is not of God.
Michelle: 30:01 You know I think just knowing, you could not change this plan if it was God's always.
Ashlee: 30:08 So we need to I'm like tattoo that verse all over her body because it's a constant battle.
Ashlee: 30:15 You know my son died. It will be 10 years in November and so that's a good thing. Even as of you know this recent Friday somebody said something to me about how he died. And I thought oh my gosh. I like I'm the reason. And it was just it was heartbreaking. And I had to just like take that those words and I thought about it for a few minutes. And I talked about it with my husband and we were like We know the truth and the truth is is that we do not control life or death. And we do the best we can to steward what God's given us and we make the best decisions with the information that we have. But yeah job 42 42. That's right. Is that what you said 42.
Ashlee: 31:06 Super helpful. I think I think that's it for today. My last little thought would be if you could just tell a grieving mom. One thing one encouragement one hope.
Ashlee: 31:22 What would you say to her. I would say that though the pain will never completely go away.
Michelle: 31:29 That's not the promise that but God does heal and walk with them and there will come a point where you are in the new normal where you are able to. Yes. You know I know a major fear for moms is that they'll forget that baby that somehow the memories and and time will make that distant and God does not want that for you and so that's what I mean when I say that you won't ever forget the pain or get over the pain. You love that child. How could you get over that. But there will come a time and a season where you're able to give them a new normal and you will have a joyful moments again and there's peace in that. But give yourself a break. Give yourself space don't let other people's expectations. And don't let your own expectations define how long it needs to take you to heal.
Ashlee: 32:20 That's good. Thank you so much for joining us today Michelle. And we will have Michelle's contact information listed in the show notes for this show. So thanks for joining us and until next time. Have a great day.
The full transcript is provided by an online app and while I do my best to catch any transcription mistakes it is highly possible that a few may have been missed. If something is not clear please refer back to the audio for reference.


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Saturday, April 20. 6:30 a.m.: The temperature felt cool as I threw aside the futon cover. I climbed out of bed and opened the curtains. Outside gray skies covered Yokohama. Hardly a promising day for a walk in the city. But I was determined to get outdoors and do something totally at variance to my self-imposed work schedule.
During the week, my mornings after washing the breakfast dishes start off with a review of the InDesign layout I finished the day before. I am working on creating an Apple app of A Christmas Carol — the video production I had labored over for nearly two years editing. Creating the app was the only alternative opened to me if I hoped to monetize the product. A painstaking job, I assure you. But one that gives me a sense of achievement. With each facet of the InDesign software I master, I feel as if I had reached the summit of Mt. Everest.
I take a two hour lunch break. Then I pack my briefcase with the prison diaries of Terrell Henry Greene. I generally pore through them in the reading room of the Yokohama Archives of History near Osanbashi Pier. The room is quiet and often I have the place to myself.
Terrell spent nearly two years in the Japanese penal system. The crime — overstaying his tourist visa 90 day permission by eight years. His diary entries are filled with self-analysis, description of prison guards and inmates, and stories from his early life as a boy growing up in a Catholic orphanage. I am taking notes which I will have to collate before I undertake the serious task of writing his story.
On Friday I substituted for a teacher at the Asahi Culture Center and taught two of her morning classes. On a note attached to her folder, she wrote: "The students' ability level is pre-elementary. Some are even false starters." She neglected to add that the students were in their 60s, 70s and 80s. Contemporaries of mine. I started off the class by introducing myself and then asking them questions about themselves.
"I'm 80 years old and when I woke up this morning I had to cook my own breakfast. Two boiled eggs." The octogenarian student sat up front to my left in the narrow classroom.
"Why did you have to cook?"
"My wife left early to play golf." He smiled. The lenses of his glasses magnified his mischievous brown eyes.
I turned to the woman sitting opposite him to my right. She was also in her 80s and a little deaf. Her friend, a younger woman in her early 70s repeated my questions in an amplified voice.
"My husband died two months ago," she said, her eyes moistening. "I live with my daughter and her family. She cooks the meals."
As she spoke, a memory flashed through my mind. Years ago I was sitting with friends in a restaurant when I heard a woman's voice call out. "Borromeo-sensei!" I turned and saw a former university student of mine making her way to my table. "Aiko-san!"
A young man dressed in a dark suit, white shirt and tie followed her.
In a breezy style, Aiko introduced the young man. "This is Takeshi. We're getting married next month. He works for a bank and we'll be posted in Hong Kong. Isn't that exciting?"
I had to smile. Already she was using the pronoun 'we' to describe their lives as a married couple. She had a future to look forward to. The 80 year old widow sitting in the classroom at the culture center had only memories to look back on.
I realized my function in the class was to provide a diversion in the lives of the students. They came to enjoy the companionship of classmates and to have something to talk about with family members and friends. None of them, I'm sure, came to improve their English to the extent of conversing fluently with native English speakers. For those two 90-minute sessions, I gave them simple English conversational exercises that allowed them to respond with confidence.
10:31 a.m.: At Yokohama Station, I boarded the express bus bound for Sankeien Garden. In all the years of living in Yokohama, I had never visited this famous landmark. http://www.sankeien.or.jp/history/. A quick look at the guide pages on the Internet gave me a token understanding of the garden's history. Designed and built by a successful silk merchant who went by the name of Sankei Hara, the garden was opened to the public in 1906. It became a popular gathering place for both the elite and the common citizen to meet for conversations over cups of tea, or for walks along the garden paths.
Though interesting, the garden's history was not what motivated me to visit there. Rather I wanted to go somewhere to clear away the debris left over in my mind after five days devoted to job-related tasks. Already on the thirty minute bus ride to the garden I began feeling relaxed.
11:15: Walking through the entrance of the garden was like stepping through a thin membrane separating the present from the past. The scene of the boat in the main pond in the outer garden reminded me of the picture postcards from the Meiji Period in the Yokohama Archives of History. I blinked in disbelief. Even the people in the park seemed to have stepped out of the pages of history.
The image shattered when I heard the sound of someone kicking a soccer ball. The ball flew in front of me and rolled along the road between the main pond and the lotus pond. Two young French boys, ages I guessed to be 9 and 7, ran after the ball. Their mother cried out admonishments in the French language. Not knowing French I surmised she was telling the boys to watch out where they kicked the soccer ball. The two brothers smiled sheepishly at me. Then within an instant they darted to the main pond where they knelt for a closer examination of the carp.
The fish surfaced perhaps in the expectation of receiving a serving of bread crumbs. The boys obviously had other intentions. The older brother leaned over as if to grasp one of the larger carp. This time older sister, seeing what he was up to, delivered the admonishments. The boys paid marginal attention to older sister. Instead, they scampered off along the same path Rabindranath Tagore must have walked during his two month stay in Japan in 1916. The recipient of the 1913 Nobel Prize for Literature had been the guest of Sankei Hara.
I followed the path past the water lily pond and entered the Sankei Memorial. The displays and photos reflected an earlier, less manic lifestyle. People took time to enjoy the tea ceremony in the garden's calming atmosphere. One photo from the Shofukaku Observatory showed the scenic unobstructed view of Tokyo Bay. A contrast to what I actually viewed nearly a century later from the same observatory.
11:45 a.m.: I climbed up the walking trail to the Kinmokutsu Tea House in the inner garden. On the way up, I encountered the French family again. The father was explaining to his wife the architectural design of the tea house. I deduced this explanation by observing his gesturing over the lines of the roof and his constant referral to the open guidebook in his hand.
As I headed back down the trail, I saw the older son. He had climbed over the fence and started scaling the rocks leading up to where his father was giving his tour guide lecture. He was straddled almost at a 90 degree angle between a rock and a bamboo tree trunk.
"Oh, Lord!" I thought. "The kid is defying gravity."
I sighed with relief when he returned to a perpendicular state on top of the rock. My nerves wouldn't allow me to observe his progress upward. I hastened down the trail.
12:05 p.m.: I walked in the direction of the Three Story Pagoda of Old Tomyoji and approached one of the tea serving stations. Here in the old days visitors sat and enjoyed tea under the canopy. A photograph inside the canopy showed Sankei Hara surrounded by the literati of the Taisho Period among whom was Ryunosuke Akutagawa (1892 – 1927). Akutagawa, impressed by the garden's natural beauty, composed a haiku in which he focused attention on the garden's tranquility.
Suddenly, my attention was distracted by the sounds of scuffling. A short distance from the tea station, I saw the two brothers fighting for control of a cloth sack. Inside was the soccer ball. The older brother was getting the best of his younger, shorter sibling. The mother came running down the path shouting out warnings. Older sister pulled the fighting brothers apart.
As the youngest of three brothers, I could imagine what the mother was saying in French. "Stop picking on your little brother! Let him hold the sack."
The moment the older brother let go of the sack, his little brother, snug in the protective arms of his sister, flashed a smile of victory.
"Wait till I get you alone," the older brother no doubt threatened. Or was I putting the words of my older brothers into his mouth?
I continued on my way, leaving the stormy scene behind me.
12:36 p.m.: I reached the Three Story Pagoda of Old Tomyoji. I am amazed whenever I see old structures build centuries ago. How they can survive the heat of the sun, the dampness after a downpour, or the gnawing of termites still puzzles me. Of course, as a cultural monument, the pagoda undergoes periodic repair. I made a note to buy a guidebook before my next visit to the garden.
1:05 p.m.: At the former Yanoharake House, I took several shots of the firewood outside. The firewood brought back memories of me as a six-year old boy. My parents owned and managed the Trimmer Hill Boarding House in Pacific Grove http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM7HEP_Trimmer_Hill_Pacific_Grove_CA. In the living room, there was a large fireplace. One day while my family and the boarders were in the dining room, I was fascinated by the flames from the burning log. The rich red colors of the flames under the log looked good enough to eat. Curious, I wondered what fire felt like. I decided to experiment and stuck a dinner napkin into the flames. The flames shot up the napkin and enveloped my hand. I let go of the napkin and screamed.
Why the firewood piled in neat stacks outside the Yanoharake House should cause me to recall that particular memory is a mystery. One thing for certain, I never again held a napkin over burning logs.
1:44 p.m.: I headed back toward the main entrance. Rain started falling as I walked over the Yatsuhashi Bridge. I sought shelter under the roof of a wisteria trellis near the main pond. The sound of rain drops splashing against the pond produced a soothing effect inside me. Reluctantly, I walked to the main entrance. Before I stepped through the gate, I turned for one last look at the boat in the pond.
In a soft voice, I said, "I'll be back."

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Last Chance to Order 30th Anniversary Jackets! *** Order by Oct 1st! ***/
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$60 each
Pre-order and payment needed by October 1st so that we can have the jackets available at the October 15th General Meeting.
$5 extra for shipping for those not picking up their pre-ordered jackets at the meeting


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The Pakistani national who was arrested by Police Narcotic Bureau inside a hotel in Bambalapitiya area with 1 kilogram of heroin in his possession has been allowed to be detained for further questioning by the court.
This was after producing the suspect before Fort Magistrate Lanka Jayaratne.
Police Narcotic Bureau arrested the Pakistani national during a raid carried out yesterday.


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As long time visitors to the SONO Arts Festival, we have also been longtime fans of artist Greg Stones. If you are looking for something original to turn your home into a art museum check him out.
What's your background?
The most important pieces of my creative evolution that inform my work at the moment: I saw Star Wars in theaters in 1977, my parents bought me Crayola crayons at some point, I graduated from Bates College in 1996, I got picked up by Chronicle Books in 2011 because zombies were a thing, and then in 2016 my editor Steve Mockus Jedi mind-tricked Lucasfilm and Disney into letting me write and illustrate a Star Wars book. So there you have it.
How do you work?
I have two ways of working. If I am creating art for galleries and art festivals, I start paintings with no plan whatsoever, and whatever happens happens. It is very improvisational and fun and surprising. If I am working on a book, I lock down a theme and a character that I would like to explore, then sketch pages and pages of ideas that may or may not lead to something worthwhile.
Why did you choose to work in the medium you use?
I like gouache because it is a very flexible and direct medium. It is also super portable, so when I am in the middle of some crazy book deadline, I can bring my work with me to art festivals and hotels and get stuff done.
Your work is what I consider family friendly with a twist, how would you describe it?
I have to say that much of the family-friendliness of my work is thanks to my editor at Chronicle Books, who realized early on that kids really enjoy my books. Left to my own devices, there is a lot more nudity and death by chainsaw in my work, as anyone who has seen my paintings in galleries or at art festivals can attest.
Did working on a Star Wars book make your childhood dreams come true?
To be honest, it never even occurred to me that working on a Star Wars project would be a possibility, so I never really thought about it. I did start to think about it once I got picked up by Chronicle Books, however, because they published four of Jeffrey Brown's humorous Star Wars books (Darth Vader and Son, Vader's Little Princess, etc.), which are the books that paved the way for funny Star Wars books everywhere. It was definitely a crazy and fun and scary and exciting process, though. And how cool is it that I got to use all my action figures from the 80's for work?? Cray cray.
Of your many character creations or Star Wars what do you love working on the most?
At the end of the day, I love painting penguins more than any other character. Don't get me wrong, working within the Star Wars universe was an amazing thing, but penguins are just so darn awkward and goofy and fun. Plus, they don't wear stormtrooper helmets, which are the hardest things to paint EVER!!!


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Equipped MD Inc.
- Published date: 11/27/2018
- Modified date: 08/27/2019
- Meridian, Meridian, Idaho, United States
Equipped MD is a distributor of medical devices. We provide turn-key equipment solutions for clinics, outpatient surgery centers, and hospitals, and offer sales and service Nationwide.
For more information please visit one of our websites:
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Kotlin is being officially used in Android development, and every Android developers are probably busy picking up Kotlin. That includes me.
I stumble upon these few magical methods during my Kotlin journey:
.also() .let() .apply() .run()
They are magical because they can perform some Kotlin magics and at the same time greatly resemble English words. Thanks to the resemblance, I even tried forming sentence using them. Let's assume Apply is a person name, I can make a grammatically correct English sentence with them: it also let Apply run.
Nonsense apart, I find it really hard to understand the usage based on their names.
There are also with and other friends in the Standard.kt, but I want to keep this post focus. So I'm leaving out the rest. Actually I'm just lazy to cover them all ಠ_ಠ. I want to go do some snowboarding instead, it's winter already, yay! ^3^
1. let and run transform
1a. pug analogy, part I
There's a famous saying "to begin learning is to begin to forget". So let's forget about it also let apply run for a second. Ok, I just made that up. Let's start with a simple requirement.
Let's say you have a pug.
and you want to add a horn to it.
Here's the code for doing this.
val pug: Pug = Pug() val hornyPug: HornyPug = putHornOn(pug)
fun putHornOn(): HornyPug { // put horn logic return hornyPug }
Now it has became a pug with horn, let's call it hornyPug:
From pug to hornyPug, the original pug has changed. I call this "transformation".
Let's re-write this using run
val pug: Pug = Pug() val hornyPug: HornyPug = pug.run { putHornOn(this) }
Here's re-write with let
val pug: Pug = Pug() val hornyPug: HornyPug = pug.let { putHornOn(it) }
1b.Function definition
Take a look at the Standard.kt for the how let and run is written:
public inline fun <T, R> T.let(block: (T) -> R): R = block(this) public inline fun <T, R> T.run(block: T.() -> R): R = block()
It can be hard to read at first, let's only focus on the return type for now:
- R is the return type
- T is the input or type of the calling object.
What it means is T type will turn into R type after let or run.
In the case of our example, pug is T, hornyPug is R.
1c. Key take away:
- whenever transformation happens, use let or run
2. apply and also doesn't transform
2a. pug analogy, part II
Let's do the same thing for this.
Say you have a pug in a trash can. (hint: trash can is not important)
You want it to bark(): "woof!"
After barking, it's still the same old pug.
Here's the code:
val pug: Pug = Pug() pug.bark() // after barking, pug is still pug, nothing changes
class Pug { fun bark() { // Log.d("pug", "woof!") // print log to Android Studio // no return, which means, return Unit in Kotlin } }
Before and after .bark(), pug is still pug, nothing changes.
Let's re-write this using apply
val pug: Pug = Pug() val stillPug = pug.apply { bark() }
Now, using also
val pug: Pug = Pug() val stillPug = pug.also { it.bark() }
2b. function definition
Take a look at the Standard.kt for the how apply and also are written:
public inline fun <T> T.apply(block: T.() -> Unit): T { block(); return this } public inline fun <T> T.also(block: (T) -> Unit): T { block(this); return this }
Notice that now it doesn't have R type, because T the original object type, is returning T after apply or also.
In our case, T is pug, and it remains the same before and after.
2c. Key take away
When there is no transformation, use apply or also.
3. A little confusing, how about renaming?
Most of the developers who I talked to find it also let apply run naming to be confusing. I am wondering if it would be easier to understand if we have a better naming?
Let's try this, Kotlin allows us to import a method name as another name.
import kotlin.apply as perform import kotlin.run as transform import kotlin.also as performIt import kotlin.let as transformIt
- If there is no transformation, we use perform() or performIt()
- If there is transformation, we use transform() or transformIt()
Let's check the example use case.
3a. configuration example - perform()
If we need to create a file, and configure it:
val file = File() file.setReadable(true) file.setExecutable(true) file.setWritable(true)
In the code above, we configure file by running 3 lines of code. At the end, file doesn't change into something else. So no transformation. We use the perform version.
File().perform { setReadable(true) setExecutable(true) setWritable(true) }
In this case, performIt will work too:
File().perform { it.setReadable(true) it.setExecutable(true) it.setWritable(true) }
But perform is better, since we don't really need it
3b. perform task on an object - performIt()
If we need to perform a task on an object, for example, when a crash happens, we want to send the user.id, user.name, and user.country to Crashlytics.
In this case, there is no transformation going on. I choose the performIt()version.
user.performIt { Crashlytics.sendId(it.id) Crashlytics.sendName(it.name) Crashlytics.sendCountry(it.country) }
The perform() will work too.
user.perform { Crashlytics.sendId(id) Crashlytics.sendName(name) Crashlytics.sendCountry(country) }
It's a matter of preference, whether to choose perform or performIt. I don't think we should waste too much time thinking about which to be chosen.
3c. creating view holder - transform
Let's say we have a method to create ViewHolder.
fun create(parent: ViewGroup): PugViewHolder { val itemView = LayoutInflater.from(parent.context).inflate(R.layout.item_pug, parent, false) return PugViewHolder(itemView) }
We can see that itemView is transformed into PugViewHolder at the end. So we can use the transformIt version.
fun create(parent: ViewGroup): PugViewHolder { return LayoutInflater.from(parent.context).inflate(R.layout.item_pug, parent, false).transformIt { PugViewHolder(it) } }
Again, the transform() version will work too. So I'm not writing 3d.
4. All working together
Consider a case where we need to
- create a file
- set the file to readable, writable, executable
- return the root path of the file
fun createFile_setMode_returnRootPath(): String { val file = File() file.setReadable(true) file.setExecutable(true) file.setWritable(true) val rootPath = findRootPath(file) return rootPath }
re-write using magic functions:
fun createFile_setMode_returnRootPath(): String { return File() .perform { setReadable(true) setExecutable(true) setWritable(true) } .transformIt { findRootPath(it) } }
Hope it helps!
Bonus Unicorn Pug.
All pugs are taken from freepik, no pugs are hurt in the making.


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John Reynolds (musician)
This biography of a living person needs additional citations for verification. (March 2008) (Learn how and when to remove this template message)
John Reynolds is a record producer.[1] He was the first husband of singer Sinéad O'Connor; they have one child, Jake.[2] Reynolds, formerly a drummer for the solo musician, Jah Wobble, met O'Connor and recorded her first album, The Lion and the Cobra in 1987, and has since collaborated on her I Do Not Want What I Have Not Got (1990), Universal Mother (1994) (for which he was nominated as Q Producer of the Year), the Gospel Oak EP (1997), How About I Be Me (And You Be You)? (2012), and I'm Not Bossy, I'm the Boss (2014).
Reynolds was the drummer for O'Connor's band on her tour of 2013.[3]
He has produced number one hits with Damien Dempsey. He produced the charity song The Ballad of Ronnie Drew by U2, The Dubliners, Kíla, and "A Band of Bowsies" which went straight to number 1 in the Irish single charts. He has recently recorded Herbie Hancock, Indigo Girls and Brian Eno for their July 2011 albums.
Reynolds produced the seventh Belinda Carlisle album, Voila. He has produced a new album Lifelines by Andrea Corr in 2011.
John also produced the Emmy Award Winning 'Music of Ireland' companion CD[citation needed] to a two-part PBS documentary series (Welcome Home and Welcome to America) celebrating 50 years of contemporary Irish music, its impact on America and its influence throughout the world. Each program features exclusive interviews, intimate performances and archival clips from some of the greatest Irish artists of our time including: The Chieftains, The Clancy Brothers, The Dubliners, U2, The Cranberries, Celtic Woman, Riverdance, Sinéad O'Connor, Bob Geldof and many others.[citation needed]
Artists produced include:
- Sinéad O'Connor - "Song to the Siren"
- The Chieftains and Moya Brennan - "Lullaby for the Dead"
- Damien Rice - "Under the Tongue"
- Liam Clancy featuring John Sheahan - "The Parting Glass"
- Orla Fallon and Moya Brennan - "Forgotten"
- Glen Hansard - "High Hope"
- Damien Dempsey - "Maasai Returns"
- Andrea Corr - "Oh Brother"
- Andy Irvine and Dónal Lunny - "Blacksmith"
- Paul Brady - "Dreams Will Come"
- Shane MacGowan and Moya Brennan - "You're the One"
- Anúna and Moya Brennan featuring Iarla Ó Lionáird - "Is Mise 'n Ghaoth/The Lass of Aughrim"
- Belinda Carlisle - "Voila"
John co-produced with Brian Eno From Africa With Fury: Rise (2011) with Seun Kuti, son of Fela Kuti.
- ^ "John Reynolds". John Reynolds. Retrieved 8 June 2012.
- ^ "Sinead O'Connor 'to wed'". BBC News. 25 June 2001. Retrieved 8 June 2012.
- ^ "concert review in Chicago Sun-Times". Archived from the original on 11 November 2013. Retrieved 17 December 2013.


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True Love at Bass Lake- Tayler + Sam- Bass Lake Park Holly Springs, NC
This session was originally supposed to take place at the JC Raulston Arboretum near North Carolina State University, but quickly was switched to Bass Lake Park in Holly Springs. It was the best decision made for the day and man did these portraits turn out beautiful!
I have known Tayler for many years. Not only are we basically family, but we also share a birthday! We always manage to run into each other about two times a year and one of those times is celebrating together. Tayler and Sam have been together for 5 years and honestly their love is just pure. The happiness that these two share is just unreal. More than just boyfriend and girlfriend, these two are best friends and I couldn't imagine one without the other.
When Tayler reached out to me about capturing their relationship, I was all about it! Tayler warned me that Sam was hard to capture with a smile, so I accepted the challenge and I think I more than exceeded her expectations! I am incredibly proud of this session and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do!
I just want to make you happy
because you're the reason I'm so happy
And because these two can't do anything without busting out in honest laughter...
Poor Sam... I had, honestly, the most fun with these two! Some day when Tayler and Sam decide to make their love super official, I hope they invite me back to capture there love!
These types of sessions are some of my favorites because I get to capture individuals and their love. If you would like to work with me on a similar session, let's chat!


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As humans, one of biggest challenges we face is change. It is a disturbance to our comfortable routines and requires practice, patience, and persistence to adapt to. But something that has proven true in life and business, is that although change isn't always easy, it's necessary for growth and development.
SWIMLANES are Here! The Newest Feature on Metronome Growth Systems
The newest feature of MGS, which was released on Sunday Nov. 11th, is the long awaited "SWIMLANES". We are so excited to have this feature on the platform as it now supports the visualization and operationalization of Shannon Susko's 3HAG! This is a big deal for MGS Coaches, as their client are now able to align their 3HAG with their 1HAG through the use of SWIMLANES.
Meetings Must Be More Than Just "meeting". 3 Ways To Better Plan Your Meetings To Ensure Success
The success of a business is never a fluke. There are numerous checklist items that every company and its team must have to be in the running for an overall WIN. One of which is strategic planning. Without a long term, midterm, and current plan, the drive to any goal will go off course. You wouldn't drive to a desired destination with no road signs, directions, or compass, so why operate a business without a plan in place?
Having a company strategic plan also means having a plan for meetings. When used correctly, meetings can be the key tool that turn goals into achievable goals. But how do you master meetings and take control of a company's narrative? We have some best practices to help! MGS was created to be the map, and the key elements of a meeting are the signs and directions getting your companies to their destination.
RHYTHM – Setting consistent Rhythms for a company meeting is extremely important. Having these meeting rhythms in place helps provide structure for the team. They know that, they are required to speak to their teammates and report on the status of all the things they are accountable for. This helps build and maintain the lines of communication with their colleagues. In MGS, setting your meeting rhythms is easy! When you create a meeting, you can set its reoccurrence schedule to accommodate any agenda you would like the team to follow.
CONTENT – Are the meetings built on a strong strategic plan? Or is the agenda a reflection of reaction? Reviewing a company's priorities and metrics on a regular basis allows you to see if they are on track. When creating a meeting in MGS, you can select priorities and metrics to review in that meeting. This is a great way to not only have verbal communication on who is doing what, but also see the status of the priorities and metrics as they stand at the time of the meeting. Once a meeting has been created, you can customize the content of your meetings. With the help of MGS, you and your companies are able to customize the agenda to fit your needs and ensure proper actions are taken as a result of the discussion it creates.
ACCOUNTABILITY – Setting goals, having company priorities and identifying metrics is essential, but mean nothing for the team if there is no accountability. Team members must know what priorities they are responsible for, how to measure them, and know how they contribute to reaching company goals. Accountability identifies the who, what, and when and assigns action items from your meetings. Metronome Growth Systems meetings tool allows users to capture the details of the meetings and what was said in one place, like seeing if an action item was completed since the last meeting occurrence and discussing if it was not done and why.
All together the communication helps to keep you on track, and if you're straying, look at why and what can be modified before the end of the quarter – instead of waiting until the end of the period to see where you end up.
Whether it is for a one-on-one meeting with a direct report, daily huddle, weekly meeting, monthly team meeting or quarterly planning sessions, MGS is built to make meetings more efficient, structured, and where the outcome is always captured and archived.
4 Reasons Why Coaches On The Metronome Growth Systems (MGS) Platform Are Seeing Success In Their Business
As a business coach, having and using the right tools is essential for achieving wins.
"The most successful and effective coaches come to every client meeting prepared with stacks of Post-It notes, a handful of sharpies, and their laptop logged into Metronome Growth Systems." says co-founder and MGS Member, Shannon Byrne Susko.
"This online cloud based system is elevating the business coaching world by bringing reliable tech to the industry, filling a need that has been left neglected for far too long."
Coaches on the MGS platform, like Byrne Susko, have found that by incorporating this software into their Business Models, they are increasing the value and confidence of their services exponentially and their clients growth. We have asked our coach members to share their feedback on how to best work MGS into your coaching practice.
Metronome Growth Systems Coach Dashboard allows coaches to understand how all of their client business' are performing at a glance. It shows how each company is tracking towards BHAG, 3HAG, 12 month and quarterly priorities. It lets you quickly get up to speed on the Key Performance Indicators (KPIs). Its a fast and simple way to check in on your client and add value in-between your client focused meetings. (below is an example of a company on your dashboard)
Access to concise and timely information makes you a more efficient coach and helps you manage more clients. Time is your most valuable asset as a coach and with MGS, you can have more of it available for what matters most to you, whether that is managing another client, reading and learning or personal time! Your clients will also save time too by having all company information on a single cloud based tool, utilizing features like meeting templates, One Page Plans, and more. (below is an example of a daily huddle meeting template)
Metronome Growth Systems helps you do things your way. The platform is flexible to fit your coaching style, provides an adaptable coaching plan for each client, flexible meeting rhythms and agendas, and more to ensure you can coach the way you want to and add the most value to your clients! In MGS it is easy to create your own custom templates to then share with your clients. Not only can you customize your One Page Plan template, but also your meeting templates and more! (below is an example of a customized One Page Plan)
By incorporating MGS into your Business Model, you add incredible value to your services as a coach. By including it in her offering, every client of Shannon Byrne Susko gets that added value of the platform and she gets the added value as a coach. When clients work with MGS Coaches, they know they are getting the most unique technology positioned to support their growth plans.
"Metronome Growth Systems has been a game-changer for me and many other coaches that are wanting to ensure they have the tools to add the most value to their clients." - Shannon Byrne Susko.
How are you using MGS in your coaching practice? What has the platform helped you with the MOST with? Have ideas for how we can improve? Send us your feedback! We love to hear directly from coaches. This platform was created BY coaches FOR coaches and will continue to evolve in that way.


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Ada Calhoun joins Mallory in the MILK Studio. Ada is the author of "Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give," a funny and poignant personal examination of marriage – her own and the institution itself.
In addition to this essay collection and her first book "St. Marks is Dead," Ada writes for The New York Times, The NewYorker.com and Oprah.com about MILKy topics like Gen X female mid life crises, gentrification, and loss – many of Mallory's favorite dinner party topics.
Check her out at AdaCalhoun.com.


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I Love You, Jesus Christ: Bersain Beristain talks Even Oxen, Neutral Milk Hotel, and the Book of Revelation/
Even Oxen's Bersain Beristain (pronounced bear-sane bear-i-stain) isn't quite who you'd expect to be behind Arrayed Above the Seraphim Lights, a cornucopia of otherwordly bedroom folk and avant-garde soundscapes that stands as one of the best albums to be released so far this year. Instead of a self-consciously weird artiste, the 22-year-old Beristain is a Houston college student and gas station clerk who fits music in where he can - his demeanor is so friendly it's almost goofy, and void of affect. The morning in June when Spirit You All spoke to Beristain via Skype, he and his Even Oxen bandmates were getting ready for their third-ever live performance, which was also their debut as a three-piece:
Spirit You All: Can you give a bit of background about yourself? Where you're from, how started playing music, what you do these days?
BB: Well, I'm from California originally. A small town called Hemet. I basically circled between California, Nevada, and Idaho, and that's where I spent most of my life growing up. Only recently have I moved over to Texas, and I've been over here for the past three years, just going to school and working. Unfortunately I wasn't into any music scenes - I would catch a show every now and then when I could.
So for what I'm doing now besides school and work, I guess I'm trying to take my music a little bit more seriously. I don't have the best recording process or anything, but at least now there's music for people to listen to, so I feel more comfortable playing shows - we're playing an open mic tonight, so you have to take what you can get. I've been messaging venues, but no reply yet. I even tried messaging some churches to see if they would be okay with doing a free show kind of thing, but no response from them yet. So the open mic is where we're goin'!
Spirit You All: How much have you played live as Even Oxen? Also, how much is this a Bersain Beristain solo project versus being a full band?
BB: Well, for right now, we haven't played very much. There's only really been two shows, and one was in 2015, where we played with a band from New Orleans called Squirrel Queen. They were so kind to look for us and invite us to play with them when they were coming on a tour over to Texas. I just played solo. And the second time around, the same situation happened - a friend connected us with another band, and we were able to play with them in the beginning of this year. This time it was me and my brother.
And that's it. So I guess that's to say that Even Oxen is much more of a solo project, because that's originally how it started. But I've always dreamt that it could be a band, and I can't do everything by myself, you know? I need to have other bandmates. I guess we'll see for the next release. I'm definitely done with recording for a little while - I'd rather focus on performing, anyways. But I'm hoping it will become a band.
Spirit You All: Where did the name "Even Oxen" come from? I assume it had something to do with being "unequally yoked"...?
BB: Yeah, exactly. We were just thinking of band names, and I figured I wanted to have something biblical... Most Christians will already know where that's from, so that's cool.
Spirit You All: Coming off your EP last year, what was the vision for Arrayed Above the Seraphim Lights? What did you want to try to do that was different?
BB: I definitely wanted to try to have better recording quality. Because for my EP, I was just 15 and 16. I didn't know what I was doing. All I knew is that I wanted to record some music. I just said, "I'm just going to record a song every year". It wasn't a thought-out process, that's just what ended up happening. And looking back, it's like, man, I just breathed into that microphone. I mean, I didn't hold back. [laughs]
So I thought, "Okay, let's give it one more shot before I try to do anything else." My main aim was to produce something that was a little bit more bearable as far as the vocals go. But ultimately I think that where the EP was a lot quieter and a lot more acoustic, I wanted to balance that out with a lot noisier stuff. I wanted to just show the more abrasive side of my music. And I think that came out all right. So now there's a bit of balance, you know what I mean? And I feel more comfortable with that.
Spirit You All: Can you explain the recording process for the album?
BB: Well, ultimately, I hated it. [laughs] I mean, I don't ever want to do it again. I have this really old Dell laptop, and I downloaded Audacity for it a while back. I can't download any new applications for it because it's so buggy and they don't work. So what I would do is I would hit "record" on Audacity - I could record the first file great. Basically that would just be me, singing with the guitar, or maybe just guitar. And after that I would record from my phone - like, I would press "play" on the computer and I would record on my phone and try playing along with it. And then because it's recorded on my phone I have to email it to myself, but then I have to change the file into a WAV format because that's the kind that Audacity works with. I'd have to go to a website to do that, and it would take a long time. So it was a nightmare, especially for the longer songs on that album. All I can say is I don't ever want to do that again.
The bulk of the album was recorded in two months, and the only song that was recorded earlier was "Kaiah's Connectant Ville" in 2014. Besides that, the whole thing was recorded in February to April of this year.
Spirit You All: Can you talk a bit about how "Kaiah's Connectant Ville" came together?
BB: Kaiah is a great friend who I grew up with in Idaho. We met when I went and visited her church. I love that she allowed me to use her song because, to me, it's my favorite song on the album. She's been playing cello for most of her life, and she made that song originally for a talent show that she was doing in her senior year of high school. But she didn't win! Which sucks because I think she at least should have placed or something. Anyway, she recorded the song, and I asked her if I could use it, and she was more than happy to allow that. I just added piano and some percussion to it - and I only did that the night before I released the album.
Actually, most of the album, like, a big chunk of it, was recorded the night before. Because, like I told you, I was sick of recording up to that point - I wanted to get it done immediately. And originally I wasn't even sure I was going to feature that song on the album, because I wanted to do it justice and I didn't know what to put onto it. I had the percussion all planned out, but I was like, do I want to leave it so bare in the beginning? So in a really quick moment I was able to record those piano parts, and got it done the next morning.
Spirit You All: You finished the final song, "Arrayed Above the Seraphim Lights", on the last day, too?
BB: Yeah, it was the day of. I recorded "Kaiah's Connectant Ville", "The Dragon on the Shore Beside the Sea", "Arrayed Above the Seraphim Lights", and "Your Baileys of Water" all in the same day because with school and work and everything, it's just so hard to find time to do other things like that. So yeah, I had to do it inside my truck because there's no way - it's a loud song. I know that it might sound a little subdued in the recording, but I have to get pretty loud for that one. And luckily it was raining outside and I was in my truck, so I don't think anyone could hear me. That was the only option I had.
Spirit You All: There's a huge variety of sounds on the album. What other artists had an influence on the sound and the direction of the album?
BB: Definitely Jeff Mangum, from Neutral Milk Hotel. I think he's a big inspiration for everybody. Anyone who hears his music, whether they end up loving it or not, they remember what they heard because it's just so unlike anything else. It's funny because their influence ranges a lot, too, but I can't say there was ever been a band that sounded quite like Neutral Milk Hotel. And I think it's mostly just songwriting. It's just so filled with passion. But not just the songwriting - his allowance for such a variety of sounds to come in really is the biggest influence on me.
I first heard about In the Aeroplane Over the Sea from a Pitchfork article about Cold War Kids - it started off saying "hipsters hate Jesus". [laughs] And I thought that was so funny, and I ended up listening to some of the albums they mentioned that were Christian-influenced. I guess In the Aeroplane Over the Sea was included in there. So when I read about them, I checked it out, and at first it was just like, "Okay, this is an acoustic song, this is going to be an acoustic indie album." And then it just transforms into this noisy, "I love you Jesus Christ!", punk-influenced stuff. Up to that point - I mean, we've heard bands like Beatles include a big variety of sounds - but I don't think any of them resonated with me as much as In the Aeroplane Over the Sea up 'til that point. I didn't know that you could take so many influences and put it in the same album and have it work out. I guess after I heard that, I was like, this is what I want to do.
I think one last artist that's worth mentioning - it's worth mentioning because you mentioned him [on the blog] a few reviews back - is Washington Phillips. Washington Phillips is a crazy story, because no one really knows very much about him, and he grew up in Texas. And he managed to record like 18 tracks and only 16 of them survived. But yeah, his style really influenced me. It's so concentrated and unafraid to be worshipful. That's what I wanted to do, too.
Besides actual artists, 4chan's music board is the biggest influence on me. Have you even been there?
Spirit You All: No, I just know 4chan's reputation... You know, "a wretched hive of scum and villainy"...
BB: [laughs] I stay away from all the other boards, so I keep away from all the evil that's inside there. For the most part, I just stick to the music board - it's a lot more family-friendly than a lot of other places you can end up on that site. [laughs again]
Well, the music board is very volatile. It's not the most welcoming place for artists, but that's the most beautiful thing about them. They take art and elevate it to such a high standard, and they'll include so many different artists in their conversations. They're the biggest influence besides actual artists. They're the ones that pushed me to want to do something good, they made me want to do something different. Without them I would have regressed into some stupid pop thing. Like, you should hear the demos that I had lying around before I started to do Arrayed. It was just awful generic pop stuff. So despite their bad reputation and how terrible they treat the artists sometimes, they are the ones that love music most. There's no one who will push the underground more than they will. Seeing them discuss music inspires me to be better and think that it's always possible.
Spirit You All: How do you see yourself as a Christian and as an artist, and the intersection there?
BB: Honestly, I don't feel as comfortable singing about other stuff as I do my faith and my relationship with Jesus. And that's not because there aren't other things that are worth talking about or anything. It's just that there are so many great artists out there who are already doing that. There are so many great Christian artists who are doing that. I mean, like, Sufjan Stevens, for example, he tackles big issues when it comes to family or personal problems... But we've already had artists do that, and for me, I just feel more comfortable being able to sing about my faith. That's the thing I want to give to the world more than anything. Maybe something that can resonate with other believers.
I want to be a worship artist through and through, but I don't want the musical side of it go in the same direction that most people would think a worship artist would be. The crazy part about it is I've had way more support from a secular audience more than a Christian one. And I don't blame them, it's just, I'm surprised. You wouldn't think music with lyrics as openly religious as mine would connect with a secular audience, but it does!
Spirit You All: Have you always loved Revelation, or was it a surprising new appreciation that you've gained?
BB: I've always had a fascination with it. Even when I was a kid, I would always ask adults at the Baptist church I grew up in - I would ask them what this means. And you would get so many interpretations - you know, some people really did think that everything was meant to be literal, to the point that, "Oh yeah, Jesus has a sword coming out of his mouth. Like, Jesus really has a sword coming out of his mouth!" And some people say that Revelation already happened, that it already took place in the days of the early church. So I've always been fascinated by the amount of interpretations it can draw. I did come back to it recently because the imagery used in it... Whether it's metaphorical or whether it's literal, it's all powerful. It doesn't matter because it's so captivating in its descriptions of heaven and of things happening on earth, that I thought to write about it would be cool.
Spirit You All: Most of the songs on Arrayed are fairly lyrically straightforward, apart from "Your Baileys of Water". What was the inspiration and meaning behind that song?
BB: "Your Baileys of Water" was really inspired by Texas. There's a huge difference between California and Texas, and the biggest difference, I feel, is in the amount of clouds in the sky. They're ridiculous. Every day, these huge mountains of clouds everywhere. And that's where "Your Baileys of Water" comes from. So the clouds are baileys... of water... [laughs]
[For readers still in the dark, a bailey is the outer wall of a castle - implying that the clouds are the outer walls of God's heavenly castle]
We drove around a lot when I first moved here, and Texas is huge, so you spend hours driving just to get to one place. That's why I talk about traveling - there's a line in there that goes, "With the burdens of leaving, I'm thankful to spend it with you." Because no matter where you are, wherever God takes you, he's with you. No matter what, I'll never be without Jesus. So I guess I just tried to combine those two ideas.
Spirit You All: What was the vision for "The Dragon on the Shore Beside the Sea", and how did you get those abrasive sounds?
BB: I wanted it to be a "musical translation", I guess you could call it, of Revelation 12, where the woman gives birth to her child and the dragon comes after them. There are very few things in life that are as terrifying to me as the idea of being hunted down. So my vision was to create something that would be terrifying, that would give you a sense of anxiety, because that's what I imagine that situation being like.
The recording process was pretty simple - I recorded the drum beat using this water jug that I filled with quarters and coins and stuff. And I would put it inside this four-legged stool - I would flip the stool upside down, and I would place the jug inside it so it wouldn't move. And I grabbed a potato masher and I would just hit it and get different sounds as I circled around the stool. So I had a potato masher in one hand and a tambourine in the other - that's just the base of that song. Besides that I added white noise into the song, and I recorded some guitar for it. It's not very much, actually, it's only about four stems because the percussion was all done in one take because I don't get much time at my house to be as loud as that.
Spirit You All: What do you see next for Even Oxen? Where do you hope to see the project go?
BB: I think that I want to do this for my life. If I could do music for my life, I would. I'm obviously still going to go to school and I'm still going to work, but none of those things are going to be as impassioned as my music is. I guess where I see it going right now is I'm just going to work hard playing live shows and getting my music across to people in Texas while I still can. We were supposed to do a mini-tour a couple weeks ago over in Virginia and North Carolina, but there were so many problems that got in the way - we couldn't drive over there because we had issues with our cars. And even then, one of the shows got cancelled because the venue got a court summons for too many noise complaints. It sucks because sometimes you just can't help things. But I'm definitely going to just keep trying, because if I love it I'm just going to keep doing it no matter what.
As far as where I see Even Oxen and what's in store for us, definitely expect shows... and more changes. Even Oxen's not going to stay the same. It's not always going to stay folk-influenced. Recently I've been listening to a lot of dance music - house especially. That seems to be the way the sound is going now, though that's not something that's been reflected in any of the other recent songs. So I definitely do think that Even Oxen is going to change. I think it's good for artists to grow and experiment.
We're also trying to do a music video for "The Dragon on the Shore Beside the Sea". It's going to be a lot like Animal Collective's ODDSAC film. It's a long song, so it's going to have a narrative, but there's going to be a lot of abstract imagery. We're buying a Chinese dragon costume for it, and we're going to play around with that. It's summer right now, so there's no school and we're just trying to stay as productive as possible.
Arrayed Above the Seraphim Lights is available on Bandcamp and on cassette via Punch Bowl Records


text: ORGANIC BAMBOO: Olive & Myrtle is holding its Eco-Chic Winter Sale. Does that mean if the home decor company is holding a winter sale, that the season is nearly wrapped? Relief. We're looking at the Big Bamboo Bowls, which are 40-percent off and come in a bunch of springlike hues (Cayenne and Chocolate and Berry and more). BOWL BEAUTIFUL:The bowls are $28.20, down from $47.


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Nowadays, were faced with a wide variety of floor options on the marketplace and don\\\\\\\'t be shocked if you get a little confused. If you are designing a fresh home or just planning to refurbish you should know the pros and cons of various flooring types. green floor vase
Prior to making any decision, you should consider few factors such as your budget, floor durability, the difficulty of installation and exactly how much time and work you are ready to spend on cleaning and maintenance. Take into account that one type might be easy to install, but is hard to clean. Another might be durable but is more expensive.
One of the primary benefits associated with tiled flooring is the simple maintenance. Tiles have been used for years and years to provide a durable layered surface that is hygienic and easy to clean. Not necessitating any special cleaning alternatives, tiles are easiest to completely clean than most flooring options.
Choosing ceramic or porcelain tiles, it doesn\\\\\\\'t matter – they can be very easily mended if damaged. Continue to keep an additional box of tiles for future auto repairs because often there are distinctions between two batches. You can choose from a number of colorings and designs, for indoors and outside the house. Timber look tiles especially are incredibly popular as a patio floor option. Tiles also provide good thing about being waterproof, if you have a dishwasher or washing machine leak, they can be easily washed without destruction. Not everyone prefers this type of flooring, because of their harsh character. They are believed as not ideal for an appropriate living.
Timber floor options come in two types. Hardwood flooring is constructed as an individual little bit of timber and the manufactured wood consists of four to five levels of timber fused alongside one another.
Hardwood floor surfaces can be sanded and refinished often over their lifetime. From one part, they are really durable and intensely easy to clean, from another aspect. Stable Tongue is one of the very most expensive floors timber options. If you\\\\\\\'re buying luxurious feel – invest in this kind of flooring and you will not repent it. Engineered hardwood offers all the benefits associated with natural timber floor coverings with no need for sanding and polishing. They can be suitable for below grade unit installation as it is much more repellent to the consequences of moisture than Hardwood. Very quickly installation is one of the primary factors that have an effect on your choice for purchasing this type of flooring.
Ever more popular, bamboo flooring can be an eco-friendly flooring option that is extra durable and easy to set up and clean. This sort of flooring is most liked among allergy and asthma suffers due to its resistance to dirt and mould. It\\\\\\\'s regarded as highly green option for modern homes and can be found in many textures and colors. These floors are extremely easy to dent and scuff and bamboo colouration is delicate to sunlight and could fade as time passes.


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Roger Johanson to join Caram Alternative Investments
We are delighted to announce that Roger Johanson will be joining Caram Alternative Investments at the end February 2017. Roger is currently head of private equity and infrastructure investments at Skandia Mutual Life Insurance Company, and has been instrumental in building this program to become one of largest and most successful in the Nordic region. He also serves on the board of Skandia Real Estate.
Roger will work alongside fellow Caram Alternative Investments founding partner Kenny Flaherty in developing the company's proposition.


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Having a healthy thyroid is vital for overall health. Nearly every cell in the body requires thyroid hormone. It's an essential fuel for the body. Levothyroxine, a medication for hypothyroidism, was the most commonly prescribed pharmaceutical last year. Thyroid problems are extremely common.
Many people's thyroid problems are overlooked or inadequately addressed. I evaluate thyroid function in nearly every patient I work with because it is so essential to physical, mental, and emotional health. Fatigue, brain fog, difficulty losing weight, feeling cold, digestive problems, high cholesterol, infertility, irregular periods, and depression are all symptoms of hypothyroidism.
Many people diagnosed with thyroid problems take medication, but still do not feel well. This is because healthy thyroid function depends on the health of the whole body. You can build thyroid health through nutrition, Vitamin D and other nutrients, healthy digestion, adrenal health, detox pathways, attunement with emotions, and skills to respond to stress.
This class is for anyone interested in thyroid health.
· Learn how to get fully evaluated for a thyroid problem.
· Learn basic care for optimal thyroid health.
· If you've been taking thyroid medication, and still aren't feeling well, we'll discuss common reasons why, and next steps you can take to feel good again.
Please join me at my practice at 380 West Portal Ave. on Wednesday, December 3rd, 6:30-7:30PM.
Photo credit.


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This week in Kostanay the Foundation team covered different approaches to cluster organisations management and cluster project management. The programme addressed the very essential topics of building cluster development expertise and raising capacity within KIDI - Kazakhstan Industrial Development Institute - personnel.
Through highly nourished debates, training participants were given to reflect with their instructors on real cases and unique challenges they may have to face on the job. This week's professors were: Reza Zadeh and Ines Sagrario from the Foundation, Werner Pamminger from Business Upper Austria, and Maria-Luisa Blazquez from IESE Business School.


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Head of Department's PocketbookProvider: Teachers' Pocketbooks
£9.99 (no VAT on this item)
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|Provider Rating
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|Helping middle leaders to manage departments or curriculum areas effectively.
Teachers' Pocketbooks's websitehttps://www.teacherspocketbooks.co.uk/product/head-of-departments-pocketbook/
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|Learning outcomes for participants/users and, where relevant, pupils or students
Better management of departments including: leadership and vision, coaching and mentoring, influencing, lesson observation, meetings, working with your team, recruitment, finance. health and safety.
Maximising student achievement through working with individual students, working with parents/ carers, using data, inclusion, behaviour management, enrichment
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|How users/participants can evaluate success
There is a self-evaluation framework included to support taking a closer analytical look at departments.
|Follow-up activities and support
The authors are available for follow up work in schools:
Brin Best www.brinbest.com Training and Consultancy
Will Thomas www.visionforlearning.co.uk - courses in coaching and leadership, NLP, managing workload and personal effectiveness


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One gear No idea from chris akrigg on Vimeo.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Chris Akrigg gets fixed
Chris Akrigg is a six-time British national trials champion who rides for Mongoose. Recently Mongoose hooked him up with a fixed gear bike to fool around with, and this is the result...
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With that thought still lingering in the back of my mind, we agreed to skip a visit to Taos (the closest tourist attraction to our campground) and instead, decided to take off towards Los Alamos.
The town of Los Alamos is perhaps best known for the role it played in the Manhattan Project, In 1943, the government built a secret lab with a single purpose: to develop the first atomic bomb. As we were a nation at war, the location had to be top secret, thus earning Los Alamos the nickname of "the town that never was".
I've read a few historical novels that explained the rationale behind selecting this location for the project, so I found the drive into Los Alamos pretty impressive. I imagined how the wives of the scientists must have felt, headed out to be with their husbands, but wondering what in the world they were in for?! We now know that the activities would change the course of history...but back then, what were their thoughts?
Yeah, the monkey in the side care has a lot of time to just let her mind drift off....
As we approached the town, we realized that poor Waze did not know that the main drag, Central Avenue, was closed. As I was approaching the "hangy" (hungry and angry) state, I got a bit flustered in trying to locate a restaurant that was open....in the end it all worked out. Seems out here, Sunday is indeed a day of rest, as the top 2 restaurants mentioned on Trip Advisor were closed today.
We enjoyed a delicious lunch at the Pyramid Cafe, where the specialty is Greek and North African cuisine (see above, our options were limited)
After lunch, we headed over to check out the small but well done Bradbury Science Museum. While visitors can't actually visit the National Laboratory, this museum serves as an excellent summary of the work being done both past and present at the National Lab. .
We decided to pass on the walking tour of Los Alamos, where the National Park service has recently started to develop the Manhattan Project National Historic Park and will be restoring several of the properties and town buildings used during the Manhattan project.
Day light was wasting and we had a good 2 hr trip back in the side car...
All in all, it was a great day of exploring our surroundings, riding in the side car, and was exactly what I had in mind when we decided to add the RV to our collection of toys!
Until next time...