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Handkerchiefs have been a part of the magician's arsenal at least since the 1500s but it wasn't until the mid-1800s that handkerchiefs made of silk made their appearance as magical apparatus. The first recorded use of silk handkerchiefs in the literature of magic was by none other than Robert-Houdin for a vanishing handkerchief routine (which also coincided with his invention of the first pull.) The first full routine using silks was performed by de Kolta and written up in Professor Hoffman's Later Magic in 1903. At that point, tricks and routines using silks became a very common part of conjurors' acts.
On this download, you'll see a variety of clever and magical ways to use silk handkerchiefs. Daryl leads off with a handkerchief that has an uncanny ability to not only trap ghosts but also find selected playing cards. Then, Fielding West performs his very funny version of the classic Color Changing Silk while Henry Evans produces a real silk handkerchief from a photograph. Michael Ammar performs and teaches his signature effect of silver dollars passing through a sheer scarf while Dai Vernon demonstrates a great utility false knot. Then, Paul Wilson makes a solid metal ring instantly and visibly jump onto a silk handkerchief while Dan Harlan shows off a beautiful silk production interlude. Finally, Petrick and Mia cause a knot to magically jump from one sheer silk to another.
Silk magic is enchanting, beautiful and, as proven by the performers on this download, extremely versatile. Learn any of these effects and you'll have a classic piece of magic in your repertoire that will amaze and delight any audience.
Spectral Silk - Daryl
Color Changing Silk - Fielding West
3D Photograph - Henry Evans
Coins Through Silk - Michael Ammar
The Berg Knot - Dai Vernon
Ring on Silk - Paul Wilson
Silken Dream - Dan Harlan
Jumping Knot - Petrick and Mia
World's Greatest Silk Magic volume 1 by L&L Publishing video DOWNLOAD


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Muscle mass Workout
Today I want to share with you some quality advice on how to gain weight. Now I caution you that this is for the really skinny guy looking to really gain weight because they barely have any meat on their bones. I know what it is like when you feel like you eat all the time and have nothing to show for it. I have been there. I also understand the feelings that you feel when people start to resent you because you can eat whatever you want and not ever gain a pound. They don't realize that to skinny guys, this is a curse more than it is a blessing at times.
However I also despise people saying that they have 'tried everything but nothing works'. This is the biggest lie that you need to stop telling yourself. You may have tried a couple of things but trust me, you just haven't tried the right things yet. Here are 9 tips that will help you to start to gain weight in no time at all. These are tips I have personally used and I guarantee they will work for you.
Here are my top 9 Tips to Gain Weight:
Tip 1
You should be keeping whichever program you are doing to no more than 1 hour of duration. Be sure that you are focusing on keeping the intensity high rather than making the workout drag on. There have been countless studies on how nasty things happen in your hormonal state after training hard for more than an hour. Plus, when trying to gain weight, we want to work out harder rather than longer.
"You Should Be Keeping Whichever Program You Are Doing To No More Than 1 Hour Of Duration."
Tip 2
Listen, I know in the beginning of this post I was sympathetic to your problem, but I am also here to say, Suck It Up. I can tell you that to gain weight, you need to focus on making your meals a habit rather than an afterthought. Your body is pre-programmed with your genetic disposition. And in your case, you have a very fast metabolism that digests and burns calories quickly. So even though you might eat 3 meals a day, and they may be high calorie meals, your body is going to burn through these very quickly. Instead focus on having 5-6 meals a day spaced 2-3 hours apart so that your body is constantly being provided with something to metabolize and build muscle.
Tip 3
I have been in your shoes, and I can't count how many times I have fallen prey to the supplement industry. You have to understand, a supplement is exactly as the name implies...A SUPPLEMENT. It is not going to make or break your gains in the gym. The majority of supplements being marketed to hardgainers looking to gain weight are focused on increasing water weight instead of muscle which after you come off the supplement, your weight will drop again. The only supplements I recommend are protein powder and perhaps some Gatorade after workouts.
Tip 4
As naturally skinny guys, you have to stop moving around so much. It's just a part of who you are, but you might fidget or move around a lot in the day. Learn to relax a bit more and try to limit activity outside of the gym as much as possible when outside of the gym so that your energy is put forth to good use.
Tip 5
This is another thing I am very tired of hearing. 'No matter what I do or what I eat, I can't gain weight'. I have heard this countless times and I am here to tell you that you are dead wrong. That's OK, because I actually said the same thing until I realized the truth. Most people think they are eating a lot and you just may be. But no matter what you are eating, if you are not gaining, you are not eating enough. Most times, you should re-evaluate your diet as well and focus on more calorie dense foods. But you need to eat more if you are not gaining.
Also, when changing your body composition, you will need to 'force' things a little bit. Your body doesn't want to change and it doesn't care to gain weight. You need to 'coax' it along and yes at times it may be a little uncomfortable.
Tip 6
As mentioned above, your workouts should really be under an hour if even that. But the main take home principle is to make sure you are progressing at a workout. It's so simply yet so many people screw it up. They put in more volume and more until their workouts are at about 2 hours.
Now some things to work for a while and you may see some results. But if you want to gain weight, you're better off focusing on progressing in either the number of reps or an increase in weight lifted within your main program. Just like overeating, this too will be tough and require you to push yourself to the limits.
tip 7
Unless you are making great gains and progressing like nobody's business, I would suggest changing the rep range every 3-4 weeks to avoid plateaus. Changing the rep range will make your body adapt to the new stress causing you to gain weight in the form of muscle. This is a much better tactic than adding more sets and more work in your routine.
"Changing The Rep Range Will Make Your Body Adapt To The New Stress."
Tip 8
Remember, this is for the extreme skinny guy...But I want you to start hitting a buffet once a week. Try and position this eating frenzy after a hard workout so that the majority of calories get shuttled into the muscles which will really help you pack on those pounds and gain weight in the right places. Don't go too overboard, but this will train your body to 'accept' more food and it will increase your appetite in the days to come. Take advantage of this strategy.
Tip 9
I know I bashed the supplement industry, but the truth is, if you really cannot eat any more whole foods (which is the better option) you could consider a mass gainer. A mass gainer is basically calories in the form of a shake. So instead of having rice, veggies and chicken, you could replace with a shake.
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Children are not born with the ability to control the passing of urine it is a skill they learn as they mature.
Bedwetting is almost as common as asthma with nearly 10% of all 4-15 year olds wetting the bed at some stage.
What is bedwetting?
Doctors refer to bedwetting as nocturnal enuresis, defined as 'the involuntary discharge of urine after the age at which bladder control should have been established'.
There are two types of nocturnal enuresis:
The most common type is primary enuresis. This is the medical term used to explain when a child has never experienced being dry at night. This can be linked to physical maturity as your child has not yet learned to recognise the feeling of a full bladder while asleep.
Secondary enuresis is the medical term used when your child begins to wet the bed after a lengthy period of being dry and can be triggered by emotional reasons like starting school or family problems. However, sometimes there is no explanation at all.
Why does it happen?
Understanding the reasons behind bedwetting can help you and your child deal with the issue. Here are some of the common reasons why bedwetting occurs.
Deep Sleep – sometimes children sleep so heavily that the urge to urinate will not wake them.
Hereditary Factors – bedwetting often runs in the family. If one parent wet the bed, there is a 40% chance that their child will too. If both parents wet the bed, the odds can rise to around 70%.
Hormones – each night our bodies secrete a hormone called vasopressin which stimulates the re-absorption of water through the kidneys during sleep, producing small amounts of concentrated urine each morning. Some children who wet the bed do not yet produce enough of the hormone and continue to produce large amounts of urine during the night.
Bladder Development – bedwetting can be dependent on your child's development. The process of recognising when your bladder is full is a skill that has to be learned, in much the same way walking and talking have to be learned. Children develop these skills at different times and at different speeds.
What can you do?
Your child will almost certainly grow out of bed wetting. Although there is no one cure there are a number of options available that will help you and your child cope in the mean time. We have outlined a number of those options below.
- Absorbent pyjama pants enable your child to stay dry, comfortable and confident throughout the
night. They can be worn discreetly beneath pyjamas and nightwear. - A calendar system that keeps a note of your child's progress on dry nights can be a great
motivational tool. - A reward scheme works well once your child begins to experience successful dry nights.
- Many parents lift their child and place them on the loo just before they themselves go to bed. If you do wish to lift your child you should wake them properly so as not to reinforce the action of
urinating during sleep. - Exercises such as resisting the urge to urinate for as long as possible during the day can
help to stretch the bladder. - Your doctor can prescribe medicines that reduce the chances of your child wetting the bed.
The information provided on this website does not replace medical advice.
If you want to find out more, or are worried about any medical issue or symptoms that you may be experiencing, please contact our pharmacist or see your doctor.


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Buy 1 Get The 2nd 25% Off! - Buy 3 Get The 4th Free! Click Here For Details
My Other Car Is A Tardis
JDM license plate frame
Adhesive vinyl on black plastic.
High quality outdoor use, lasts 5 - 9 years guaranteed.
Please check measurements for us and Canada fit nets.


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Our lollipops are hand produced in the UK, using British sugar and delicious flavours and alcohol.
Hand tied with a ribbon and tag, flavour on one side and blank on the other for your own message.
Available in 11 different flavours, both alcoholic and non alcoholic:
Alcoholic Flavours -
Gin & Elderflower
Raspberry Prosecco
Strawberry Daiquiri
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Mulled Wine
Non Alcoholic Flavours -
Salted Caramel
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All flavours are suitable for vegetarians and vegans.


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Shampoo marketing
I bought a new bottle of shampoo. Like many shampoos, its label tries to promote it as a natural, healthy alternative for natural, healthy hair. To this end, it proclaims that it's "enriched with orange fruit extract and provitamin B5".Leaving aside the question of "What's provitamin B5 and why should it be good to rub it on the outside of a dead keratin layer?", I like the colorful, natural, healthy looking picture on the front of the bottle.
The picture shows two halves of a sliced orange; a wedge of lime; and ... a watermelon?
Now, I know I'm not a botanist, but somehow I'd been unaware up to now that watermelon was a citrus fruit.
Amazing what you can learn simply from browsing the supermarket aisles!
[ 17:38 Dec 06, 2007 More humor | permalink to this entry | ]


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Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Meet Mr Cru
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Daily Misogyny
The problem being dealt with is a woman who feels uncomfortable undressing in front of her boyfriend because she is self-conscious about her body. Her boyfriend is threatening to leave her over this.
So here's what you should really do in that circumstance: Tell your boyfriend to go fuck himself. Firstly if you feel self-conscious around him naked or otherwise, it sounds like he's not necessarily being the most supportive boyfriend. But more importantly if he's trying to use threats like leaving you to get you to do something sexual that you're not ready or willing to do he's an asshole and you should leave. Why does he want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable anyway? Doesn't sound like a very nice guy.
Not in Daily Mail land though... Pelling genuinely starts with this opening line:
"The biggest failing of modern feminism must be the fact women are so hard on themselves about their bodies."
Yeah exactly - see elsewhere on Cru-blog for my classic posts entitled "Your body - not good enough" and "Bigger than a size 6? Why not puke it up?". Feminists have been fighting against the way women are constantly judged on their appearances forever. We've written shelves full of books about it actually, things like The Beauty Myth and Fat is a Feminist Issue. Feminists are out there protesting beauty pagents and complaining about the unreasonable images of women shown in magazines and on TV. I don't remember seeing Ms Pelling on the front line!
So the alternative solution? Strip off and put up with it. She even suggests going to stripping classes to boost your body-confidence? Really.
Lets just hope it's not a real letter and a real person sat at home reading Pelling's noxious advice and taking it on board. You deserve better from both your boyfriend and your media.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The Big Questions - Answered!
Suffice as to say I thought it went very well. I managed to get a fair few important points across and also got to say live on air that abortion is available in Britain, on the NHS, for free and nothing to be ashamed about. And probably someone somewhere listening didn't realise that and will one day really need to know in a hurry. So in that sense it was definitely worth the early morning trip to Cambridge!
And if you are wondering how it ends - it turns out the answer to most of the big questions is (in the words of someone sat near me) "Shut up Lynette, you stupid bigot"!
* In inverted commas because I, like more or less everyone I know, am a member of a family and she certainly doesn't represent my views.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Spot The Class-A Arsehole
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Cheers Ada
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Dominic Lawson: Misogynist
In the piece he explains - or tries to - why no-one on earth actually wants to watch women's sport. His point - as far as I understand it - is that men's sport is the only sport we all want to watch because it represents the pinnacle of human achievement. The fastest runners, the highest jumpers and the longest throwers are all men. And this, he would have us believe, explains why no-one wants to see women's sports, or - for bonus uncool points - the special olympics.
This misses a few big points. Firstly it forgets that more than half of the population is women, maybe women are more interested in the greatest achievements of their own kind. And maybe for someone with a disability it's a little more inspiring to see what someone with a similar disability can achieve, rather than an able-bodied person.
Secondly if we are really only interested in the fastest, highest, furthest then no-one would go to second division football matches. Yet those matches get much better numbers than most women's games at every level. On top of this we would all watch only the wheelchair marathon. They finish way faster than the able-bodied men. Or for that matter - we'd just watch the motor racing, that is loads faster. Or if you want to insist on racing without mechanical intervention then why isn't there an Olympic competition for cheetahs? They can sure move. No matter how hard you train Dominic, the England Women's Cricket team could whoop your ass and the only way you could fail to be impressed by their speed, skill and teamwork is if you had already decided not to be in your miserable closed misogynist mind.
Thirdly you only need to wander along to see your local school sports day to see that our enjoyment of sports has a lot less to do with the pinnacle of human achievement than it does to do with cheering on those we perceive as "our team". The joy experienced by her family, neighbours and friends when little Jessica comes 19th out of 19 in the sack race far exceeds anything Dominic Lawson has felt watching men's cricket. If the media gave greater coverage to women's sport we would all feel more connected to the players and hence more invested in their victory. We'd maybe know that one of them was from our area. We'd have seen them on TV talking about their recent injury and recovery and we'd be rooting for them to be picked for the squad for the final.
Fourthly watching sport is something that people do for fun. Whether live or on TV it is the experience as a whole that is enjoyable. I've been to the Oval a couple of years ago to watch a (men's) match and I can report with some conviction that most people spent most of the time either eating or drinking. The fun of watching these sports is greatly enhanced by a bigger crowd, which means more atmosphere, more sense of being part of a community of fans and a better range of food and drink facilities. Again more media coverage would have a big impact.
Finally we might accept that Lawson is some sort of weird freaky intellectual anomaly for whom watching sport is a purely scientific intellectual activity where he derives pleasure purely from calibrating in his own mind the limits of the male able-bodied human condition. But then he says this...
"It was with the greatest difficulty that the world's strongest woman chess player, the Hungarian Judit Polgar, was able to persuade the sport's authorities that she should compete only against the men, rather than other women. Yet none of her fellow women players have followed her example, presumably judging that they have a better chance of becoming a "world champion" if they limit the competition to members of their own sex."
The fact that other women have not moved into men's chess might also be because when Judit Polgar did so it was, by your own admission idiot-boy, "with the greatest difficulty".
The world of sport is notoriously sexist, even women looking to become managers or officials or coaches fight a continuous uphill battle to be taken seriously in men's sport while men wanting to take those roles on in the women's game are welcomed with open arms. Those women who do prove themselves as talented as their male counterparts are routinely denied admission to men's teams, even when they could make substantially more money joining the men's team. Funding for women's sports at every level is woefully inadequate. While top-level male athletes earn thousands every week the women in the equivalent teams are likely to be working full time to make ends meet and trying to fit their training around that.
Lest we fear that Lawson's remarks should show him up as prejudiced against those with special needs (clearly it's a-OK if we think he's misogynist) he pulls this winner out of the bag "I too have a child with Down syndrome". Seriously. In next week's column "My hairdresser's gay, so I can't be a homophobe...". Anyway his point is that his daughter's school sports day (by inference an event of similar national importance to England's women winning the World Cup) shouldn't be given extensive media airing.
Given the level of misogyny holding women back at every level of every sport out there, I'm inclined to think - nor should Lawson's noxious remarks.
Like Nothing On (Google) Earth
Alternatively maybe I should revive an ancient tradition and daub my roof with a modern Sheela Na Gig!?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Jade and Johann
How Not To Be A Minister
Below the one-page feature on page 11 which explains who the team members are (one sentence each around a photograph) is a piece by Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport Andy Burnham in which he argues that women's sport deserves more coverage and that young women would be encouraged to participate in sport if they saw more role models in the media. He doesn't seem to have twigged that young women would also be encouraged to participate in sport if there was decent funding for it! And I should know - I pretty much gave up paying women's football a few years back because the lack of facilities and the lack of funding for the league meant there was a shortage of teams and far too many players at each one for most players to be getting a regular game. So I was splashing out a lot of money to train at inconvenient times in the middle of nowhere knowing I still wouldn't get a game at the end of it.
However despite being the one and only person in government with a direct remit to do so Burnham doesn't commit at any point in his piece to actually doing anything about the status of women's sport. Instead he suggests it is predominantly up to the media to sort it out. What is the point of being in government if you can see what the problem is but respond by leaving it up to the media to sort it out? Why not just vote Rupert Murdoch into power and be done with it?
And the media Burnham is urging into action? Well, while the main section of the Independent front-pages the victory and bewails the poor coverage elsewhere, no-one appears to have bothered to mention this to the rest of the paper...
The sports section has a front cover about men's football, with sidebars about men's rugby, men's cricket and men's motor racing. The world cup win for the women is on page 14 and consists of a single brief match report at the bottom of the page filling around a sixth of the total page area and squashed beside and below articles about men's cricket matches. There are no other articles in the 20-page supplement about women's sports.
The Independent website has more than 100 links on it's main page of which only one relates to the win. Demonstrating their deep belief in Burnham's claim that it is up to the media to encourage young women to participate in sport, they have put this one link in the scrolling, not-always visible "Editor's Choice" bar next to such heavyweight pieces as "The Ten Best Luxury Face Creams" and "Floral Patterns Are Back In Season"! Burnham's own piece is not linked from the front page...
Seriously Mr Burnham you are one of the few people in the country who can change things if you want to. But not by writing articles which even the paper you publish them in goes on to ignore. If you mean a word of what you say - get your finger out and pass a law on the subject. Because that's the point of your job...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Can You Imagine...
Monday, March 16, 2009
How Women Will Survive The Recession
So great news for the women of Britain, we're expected to survive the economic crisis on 17% less than our male counterparts (20% for ethnic minority women, 36% for part time workers, 45% for part time workers in London)? How exactly is that reasonable? Every time I open the paper I read about single mothers and how they should be working, but how exactly are you supposed to raise three kids on 45% less than equivalent male pay in an recession while the CSA don't bother to pursue your ex-partner for support? Although some supposedly serious newspapers are suggesting you can beat the credit crunch by turning to prostitution!
So here's a better idea for all those in government blatantly unable to think of one. Let's criminalise men who pay for sex - punishable with a steep fine. And use the money to help follow up on measures to bring about equal pay for women and quality childcare available to all lone parents. How do I keep having these great ideas...?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dear The Guardian
I wasn't exactly happy with the way my hard work was treated but there again these guys are a news organisation and there's a crisis in Pakistan right now, Darfur is a mess, war continues in Iraq and Afghanistan, human lives hang precipitously in the balance in Gaza and even closer to home in Northern Ireland problems are flaring up and people are dead. I can totally understand how a reaction to a few sexist remarks by a writer and occassional TV pundit managed to slip through the cracks. Then I discovered that during the same period they were too busy to get back to me, the Guardian team still had time to produce this video. Two giggling women trying to teach each other how to run around in expensive high-heeled shoes. You're a fucking news organisation for fuck's sake!! Do your fucking job!!
That Horrible Taxi Rapist Guy
The really chilling thing is that the profile of the women he targeted was - me. Out late alone in central London (which my job dictates I am five or six nights a week), around my age and sometimes drunk. Not only do I shudder and think how easily it could have been me, a small part of my brain can't help the paranoia that maybe it's actually possible that one of his victims was me. Part of my brain is running vague memories of nights when I woke up in the morning not entirely sure how I got home, wondering where I left my scarf or how on earth I managed to spend all the money in my wallet. And I keep seeing his picture in all the papers and thinking "Does he look familiar? Have you seen that face before?". As well as the hundreds of women who probably are his victims, thousands more, like me, have had that sickening thought - Would I have remembered if it was me? - over the course of the story unraveling in the media.
And women have a right not to walk around in fear of rape, not to feel paranoid that any night they have a couple more drinks than they can really handle they are suddenly at risk from people like black cab drivers - the very people they trust to help them get home safely. But the fear persists and it does so because the police - whose job it is to keep us safe from these criminals - are helping the rapists more than the victims. By refusing to believe victims, advising victims to drop cases, losing evidence, refusing to run tests, accepting rapists stories as true and dismissing drunk and drugged women as unreliable witnesses they in fact discourage women from coming forward to report the crimes perpetrated against them, thus making it even harder to get these criminals off the street. Indeed one of Worboys' early victims dropped her case because the police investigation was taking too long. But looking at the scale of the rape epidemic in the UK rape should surely be a priority for the police - who instead are focussed as far as I can tell on arresting anyone with a beard, some chappati flour and a GCSE chemistry book.
There is a great article by Lisa Longstaff from Women Against Rape covering this in more depth here.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
All In The Family
Domestic Violence - Hit and Miss
There is still talk of "telling women when they start a relationship with a man with a history of domestic violence" - which is so hypocritical it's not true. If these men have previous convictions and are a threat to women- they should have been locked away and not released back onto the streets until the prison authority believes they no longer represent a threat to the public. We already know that many victims of domestic violence blame themselves for the situation - how easy is it going to be to convince women not to blame themselves when they've persisted with a relationship against police advice?
And how utterly offensive to suggest this without talking about catching, prosecuting and jailing the perpetrators of domestic violence which is the obvious real solution to the problem. Plus of course tackling the culture in which we live - the culture in which one in seven people think it's ok for a man to hit his partner if she wears "sexy" clothes in public.
Meanwhile I just noticed this: a new pocket-sized body spray for men from Lynx - the people who brought you things like "Manwash" and "Spray More, Get More" and as I recall "We Have No Decent Ideas In Marketing So Lets Just Get A Bunch Of Girls In Bikinis". And what is the catchy men-appealing name for the new pocket-sized body spray? Bullet. Yes really - in their words "giving guys on-the-go pocket pulling power anytime, anywhere". Bullet.
The good news is at least that now rather than waiting for the police to get in touch women can tell by smell alone whether or not their date is the sort of asshole who responds to advertising like this. Spray More, Get None from now on...
Monday, March 09, 2009
Speaking To God
So here's my message to God (and I am assuming we mean the Christian god, although many of my points would generalise):
"Err, listen mate, you're rubbish at this. Seriously - they're all out there killing each other and saying you told them to do it. Be a bit more clear about your messages next time. Spell it out in clouds whenever you think there's a misunderstanding. 'Stop killing each other, I don't want you to do this.'
"Now next up - about your organisation. Bit behind the times on promoting women aren't we? Can't help noticing that Playboy these days is run by a woman while your lot all report to a former Hitler Youth member who thinks that gay rights marches are an offense to Christian values. Believe me, people are going to stop subscribing to the whole benevolent deity thing as long as you're making Hugh Hefner look like he's working hard to promote equal opportunities.
"And I sense the beep is on it's way but I do have one more question. What were the dinosaurs for? Was that just a practical joke or did you screw up and make some giant lizards on an off day, realise if you let them lose they'd kill everything and figure if you buried them in tar pits we wouldn't notice?"
And hopefully that gave you a good laugh because, on the subject of the Pope, the next thing I'm going to share with you is probably going to make you really very angry.
A woman in Brazil discovered that her nine-year-old daughter was pregnant with twins following three years of sexual abuse at the hands of her stepfather. Fortunately though the law in Brazil is extremely restrictive on abortion, exceptions are made for rape and health risks to the mother. So the poor nine-year-old was treated and is now safe. Step in Archbishop Jose Cardoso Sobrinho, head of the Catholic church in Brazil who has ex-communicated the mother and the doctor but not, importantly, the guy who started repeatedly raping a girl of six years old. Presumably he was told to say three Hail Marys and put a fiver in the collection box...?
The Vatican responded of course by ... backing up Archbishop Sobrinho. The Pope's official representative for Latin America, Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re, said the twin foetuses have the "right to live". Really.
And the thing is me talking to God on the phone is just a bit of fun but the Vatican, whose only claim to legitimacy is that they have a "direct line" to God, are taken seriously by our political leaders. Two weeks ago Gordon Brown went to visit the Pope at the Vatican to have a chat about how to combat problems in the world. Surely the first problem to be addressed is why anyone is listening to this noxious group of people.
Independent Cru-blog
Friday, March 06, 2009
Laura in Plymouth
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Line-By-Line: Come On Germaine!
"I should probably not have said, in so few words on television recently, that women aren't as funny as men."
No you should not have, not unless you could really justify it, which we are about to see - you can't.
"Put so baldly, the observation sounds like deliberate provocation, as if I was baiting feminists, or looking for some kind of a knee-jerk response."
I remember when you WERE a feminist.
"I was actually trying to present an aspect of the psychopathology of everyday life that strikes me as interesting and important."
And yet you know as well as I do that 99% of people aren't going to read past the first line of what you say and are instead going to turn up at my place of work and regurgitate your words verbatim using them to deny my right to a fair shot at doing my job. So thanks.
"Women are at least as intelligent as men, and they have as vivid and ready a perception of the absurd; but they have not developed the arts of fooling, clowning, badinage, repartee, burlesque and innuendo into a semi-continuous performance as so many men have."
So women have failed to develop the art of burlesque as well as men? Yeah that's a real problem... But seriously which clubs do you go to?Look back to Hattie Jacques and Joyce Grenfell: women have always done great comedy and they still do.
"The phenomenon of men's dominance of the comedy realm is so conspicuous that all kinds of cod explanations have been given for it."
No - the phenomenon of men's dominance of comedy is a fiction invented very recently by lad mags. It has nothing to do with reality and should be rejected wholesale.
"According to one cracker-barrel psychologist, the pleasure generated by a response to a gag is patterned on the male orgasm rather than the female."
No - Andrew Watts wrote that on the Chortle website. He's a comic not a psychologist and by his own admission (I know him) the remark was intended as a silly analogy. If orgasm had anything to do with comedy men would only be able to tell one joke all night."Another wiseacre has convinced himself that making people laugh is exerting some kind of power over them."
Yeah well it is - it's the power to make people laugh - and women are just as good at it as men."In my version, the man who opts for the role of joker in the male group is not looking for power but for acceptance; the other roles in the group are not accessible to him, perhaps because he is weaker or poorer or less imposing than his peers."
This would make total sense if all comics were weak, skinny, ugly guys - but they're not, many are big tough guys and quite a lot are fucking funny women. And anyhow if comedy were about overcoming weakness, women would be tons better at it than men owing to our weedy arms!!
"His audience has, as it were, the power of life and death over him; if he fails to get his laugh, he "dies"."
Dying onstage as a comic is just a turn of phrase - in reality you have a good gig or a bad one and while everyone tries to learn from bad gigs, experienced comics know better than to let a rowdy inattentive audience get to them."Men's dominance of standup has even been attributed to the phallic character of the microphone, absurdly enough."
If the microphone is a dick then you'd expect straight women and gay men to be the ones with the best idea what to do with it.
"Though it might be comforting to believe that simple misogyny prevents women being given a fair go, even this will not wash."
Yeah there's no misogyny out there. That's why when I ring round for gigs I hear "We've already got a woman on the bill that night". That's my fair go, is it? In fact even your very article constitutes misogyny because it presumes that female comics are some sort of homogeneous group, that what applies to one, is true of them all. I don't care if you've seen fifty terrible female acts, you haven't seen me and I'm an individual who deserves to be judged on my own merits not on my gender.
"The juries who give prizes to comedians are usually composed of both sexes, and audiences certainly are; but still the female performers don't make it, don't get the prizes, don't get the audiences and don't make the money. "
And women (judges and audience) can't be sexist? Didn't you quite literally write the book on this? Anyway plenty of women comics have won awards: Jenny Eclair, Laura Solon, Nina Conti, Sarah Millican, Josie Long, Susan Calman...
"I have heard it said that women can't be really funny because they aren't willing to make themselves look ridiculous."
And you bothered to listen to this? Now to me that makes YOU look ridiculous Greer.
"The truth seems to be that female comics are only too willing to turn themselves into grotesques, and to base their comedy in a disparagement of their physical selves."
Could that be because women's bodies are considered such fair game in every form of media out there that women have found humour in rejecting ideals of beauty and taking delight in the earthy realities of the female form (quote Dory Dutton at my show at Soho Comedy Club tonight: "As I get older I'm not unhappy with the shape of my body ... it's the texture ...").
"Pamela Stephenson of Not the Nine O'Clock News briefly toured the working men's clubs of Britain with a courageous routine featuring menstruation jokes, which she probably got away with because she was blonde and gorgeous."
So the odds were totally stacked against her but she did well but so it must have been because she was attractive? Whereas Jo Brand has done well because of what?
"(Since she became a sex therapist, she has given up making jokes altogether.)"
She's a highly qualified psychotherapist who despite changing careers is still much in demand on TV and who also wrote a brilliant, very witty, book about her husband.
"Dawn French and Jo Brand have both made comic material out of obesity."
So does Johnny Vegas. He must be shit.
"French and Jennifer Saunders began their comic partnership as the Menopause Sisters, and used to do one routine with tampons in their ears."
And when guys (hundreds of them) get up on stage and do knob gags that's considered funny but tampons aren't allowed? This is from the woman who told women to taste their own menstrual blood to accept their own bodily functions. You would think she'd be cheering on the menopause and tampon jokes.
"Comments sent to a blog I came across bewail the tendency of female comics to work around the themes of "bras, periods, chocolate, WeightWatchers"."
Who needs research when you can read comments on a blog? I like the blogosphere but seriously, most comments I get are trying to sell me herbal viagra - it's not a reliable source of public opinion. I know few female acts whose sets cover these issues and if they did SO WHAT!? If you can be funny on those subjects - great - go for it!
"Whatever the problem is, it's not narcissism or vanity - rather the opposite."
I don't even understand logically what this comment means. The problem with female comedy is a lack of narcissism and vanity? Then remind me to see more female comedy, that sounds wildly refreshing.
"When they are not running themselves down, women comedians are often astonishingly vicious towards other women."
Whereas when male comics attack women - that's hilarious.
"Joan Rivers's attacks on Elizabeth Taylor are legendary. Zoe Lyons has a one-liner about Amy Winehouse self-harming: "She's so irritating, she must be able to find someone to do it for her", a joke that many women would find unfunny in the extreme."
I can think of rape jokes I've heard from male comics in the last week that I find a lot less funny.
"Every year produces a new crop of women standups who will take the world by storm, and when the froth subsides very few names persist: Jenny Eclair, Jo Brand, Victoria Wood."
Maybe the reason the media doesn't pick up on and promote more women comics is because attitudes like yours are all over the place. Well done though for mentioning Victoria Wood - she did win a public vote of "Britain's Favourite Comic" recently which rather seems to throw your whole theory out of the window doesn't it?
"Shazia Mirza has been heard to say that if only she could marry a rich man she would be off the circuit tomorrow, which suggests another reason why women don't mature in the comedy business."
Yeah Shazia says that. It's a joke. A joke about her conservative background.
"Comedy is learned; you get better as you go along."
So - you would think - is journalism but honestly Germaine, I preferred your early stuff.
"Men who emerge as professional comedians grow up within a dense masculine culture of joke-making and have been honing their skills ever since they started school. Girls have nothing similar of their own and are not invited to horn in on the guys' act."
Because girls don't sit in classrooms giggling amongst themselves? Have you ever been to a school?
"When men in the audience give women comedians a hard time, it is because the sharing of the joke is an important male bonding mechanism."
No it's because they're assholes. When some drunk idiot shouts 'Oi love, get your tits out' at me during a routine it's not his evolutionary destiny that has caused him to do that, it's the beer he's drunk and the crap he's read recently in FHM.
"We might also ask ourselves why the women in the audience cannot counterbalance male uneasiness with loyalty and enthusiasm for comedians of their own sex."
They can. Women in the audiences I perform to are thrilled when a female act gives the guys a taste of their own medicine. They whoop with delight to hear someone tell it like it is from a woman's perspective for once. And what is more they line up in droves to come to women-only comedy nights which are flourishing around the UK. I hosted another sold-out one myself as an Abortion Rights fundraiser on Friday, see also Funny Women, Laughing Cows et al.
"Can it be that women are programmed to laugh at men's jokes, as they are not to the jokes of their sisters?"
Yeah cos when you see two young sisters playing together, they never giggle.
"Comedian Arthur Smith once said, "Women don't get shags after gigs. Men do.""
I've often been chatted up after gigs. And I know lots of guys who complain they get into the industry hoping it will get them laid and it doesn't. Mark Steel talks about this in his book "It's Not a Runner Bean" which Ms Greer clearly failed to read in her extensive research process.
"This may be more revealing than Smith knows. Women comedians are probably not looking for shags in any case; if they were, they probably couldn't say so."
Of all the women I know the one and only group definitely not afraid to stand up and say out loud 'God, I need a shag' is the comediennes.
'The greater visibility of male comedians reflects a greater investment of intellectual energy by men of all walks of life in keeping each other amused.'
Or a greater investment of financial resources in promoting a few guys who the media has deemed appropriate for celebrity status.
"It is now a truism that men never talk to each other about things that matter."
But the best comedy is always about things that really do matter.
"Most of what takes place when men are together is phatic communication, intended to build fellowship rather than intimacy. This kind of communication is sometimes derided by women as meaningless, but it is actually functional, because it draws the group together. Men who drink, play and joke together are boon companions, who hang together for fun. He laughs loudest who laughs last; one joke kicks off another."
Whereas you never ever see groups of women out and about joking and laughing together, let alone mixed groups. Sorry Germaine but men do not have a monopoly on having a laugh.
"The man who cannot hold his own in repartee will even learn other men's jokes off by heart, so that he can fill a void in the general banter."
Yeah and stealing someone else's material is what makes a great comic...
"Women famously cannot learn jokes. If they try, they invariably bugger up the punchline."
Famously where? Did I miss a meeting?
"The male teller of jokes is driving towards his reward, the laughter of his mates. The woman who messes up the same joke does so because her concentration is not sharpened by that need. She is not less intelligent, simply less concerned."
The funniest people are the ones most desperately trying to get a laugh then? Not the ones who don't give a fuck and are telling it like it is? Maybe watch a show next time before you write this sort of rubbish huh?
"Given an opportunity to perform a finished comedy routine, a female comedian will make you laugh as hard as any man."
Despite her lack of ambition and failure to put her burlesque skills to proper use? You're contradicting yourself here.
"Put her in an improvisation situation along with male comedians, and she is likely to be left speechless."
Screw you Germaine. Come to one of my shows and I'll take any male comic you like and improvise the shit out of them.
"Quiz show Mock the Week usually invites one woman every other week or so, and every time I have been watching she has been eclipsed by the furiously competing six males who complete the cast of the show. Before she can get a word out, one or other of them will have snatched the microphone and gone riffing away on something he prepared earlier and has adjusted for the precise occasion."
So women are rubbish at improv because men interrupt them with prepared material? And this is women's fault? And you think a show with six guys and one woman is a fair forum from which to extrapolate to sweeping gender generalisations?
"There is, after all, an element of trainspotting, of one-track-mindism in comedy that is alien to women."
And an element of tangental thinking, of linking apparently wildly diverse subjects, that only someone who really knows how to multi-task could achieve. Or are we bored with reciting trite untrue stereotypes yet?
"At the heart of the judgment that women are not as funny as men is another far less inflammatory observation: that women are less competitive."
No - at the heart of your judgment that women are not as funny as men is a big heap of random misogynist lad mag-propagated bullshit that you really ought to know better than to buy in to.
"Competition drives men to more and more outrageous and bizarre mental acrobatics, to stay ahead of the game and have the last laugh. The greater the pressure, the faster the firing of neurons in the male brain."
Call the science press - where the hell does this come from? If this were true a simple piece of brain scanning apparatus combined with some sort of rapid-fire word-play quiz would have picked it up years ago. It's just piffle.
"You get your best results from women when you take the pressure off."
Again I haven't read this in the New Scientist yet so I'm gonna call it early as bullshit.
"Men do the inspired lunacy; women do droll."
This is your big conclusion? Comedy can be broken down into two sub-types: "inspired lunacy" and "droll"? And one type of comedy, the one that's not as good, is exclusively performed by people with vaginas? I don't understand how that even could be true.
Women are fighting an uphill battle in comedy against the rising tide of poorly argued baseless attitudes like this. And ironically I've read of lot of Ms Greer's work and she's pretty funny, I really think she could cut it in the clubs if she wanted to. Except mine of course where I would politely decline to put her on the bill since her words are undoubtedly going to cost me a bunch of bookings over the next year or two.


text:
For the book I am typesetting now I need a table environment with the following abilities:
- Span over multiple pages;
- Allow
between two lines - Do not ignore
before the beginning of the environment
Points 1 and 2 can be achieved with longtable
environment; but recently I bumped into the situation when the code:
\section{Some section}
leaves the section header on one page and starts to typeset longtable
on the next page. \nopagebreak
between \section
and \begin
does not help. I found the bug filed on longtable about 9 years ago, but it seems that no-one is interested, and I do not know TeX well enough to fix it myself.
I tried supertabular
package — it has the same problem, and stabular
which has points 1 and 3, but does not have point 2. Is there some way to make longtable
listen to \nopagebreak
? Or maybe there is some other package that supports all three points? Or will it be easier to just stack \hbox
s and \vbox
s in a desired way?


text:
"Say their names," the signs read in the streets of America. In 2020, one reckoning shares an unstable boundary with another as protesters masked against the coronavirus expose a different kind of deep debilitation: the racism that permeates American history and the present day, resulting in sudden deaths now recorded and shared on social media, but always present within history, from the arrival of enslaved Africans on the Virginia Coast in 1619 onward.
What is the anthem for this moment? Some emerging contenders, like the playful " Lose Yo Job," inject needed humor into the moment; others, like Childish Gambino's " This Is America," make anger dance. Throughout history, one particular song has often been called into use to invoke the need for change in the face of America's greatest sins: "Strange Fruit," the ballad written by Abel Meeropol and brought alive as an oracular force by Billie Holiday, who first sang it in 1939.
Holiday's performance of the song, slow and clear so that no nuance of its stark depiction of lynching could be missed, "almost single-handedly changed the politics of American popular culture and put the elements of protest and resistance back at the center of contemporary black musical culture," as Angela Y. Davis would later write. Without literally doing so, "Strange Fruit" said names. Since Holiday made it into a signature written in her own blood and the blood of her people, "Strange Fruit" has returned in versions by singers determined to keep their listeners accountable and aware that the black music they love is born of this pain as well as the will to thrive in the face of it. Nina Simone, Cassandra Wilson and Rene Marie have all released unflinching readings of its brutal story.
Today, Bettye LaVette brings "Strange Fruit" back to the center of the conversation. LaVette, whose music always speaks truth with the utmost frankness and verve, has been performing "Strange Fruit" since at least 2017, when she stunned an Apollo Theater audience with a defiantly measured cabaret take on the song. This new recording, from her upcoming Steve Jordan-produced album Blackbirds, returns "Strange Fruit" to the blues – a musical form that developed on the same ground stained by the blood Meeropol's lyrics describe. An ascending piano line and a brushed drum establish a space for Smokey Hormel's guitar lines to intertwine with LaVette's powerful, weathered, insistent 74-year-old voice. The interplay is the message, the reminder that this song's story always must be told and heard again, that we have not yet moved beyond the need for its witnessing.
LaVette has said that she wanted to record "Strange Fruit" in a way that had not been attempted before, but which retained the drama of Holiday's original reading. She's accomplished that. Choosing to share the song today, she offers something necessary: a connection to the past that protesters are trying, again, to make truly past, and a moment to mourn and renew.
Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


text:
iPot 967_l
1620 euro
Shipping costs excluded
The kit iPot 967 /l allows you to create a freestanding structure for books, plants and other items.
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Download the technical file to find out any detail on iPot's components and the user guide.
This kit includes all the components you need to build up an iPot just as you can see it in the pictures (same shape of the structure and same number and kinds of accessories).
Follow carefully our assembly instructions to build your iPot. You just need a rubber mallet!
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text:
Summer House with Swimming Pool Herman Koch
The blistering, compulsively readable new novel from Herman Koch, author of the instant New York Times bestseller The Dinner.
When a medical procedure goes horribly wrong and famous actor Ralph Meier winds up dead, Dr. Marc Schlosser needs to come up with some answers. After all, reputation is everything in this business. Personally, he's not exactly upset that Ralph is gone, but as a high profile doctor to the stars, Marc can't hide from the truth forever.
It all started the previous summer. Marc, his wife, and their two beautiful teenage daughters agreed to spend a week at the Meier's extravagant summer home on the Mediterranean. Joined by Ralph and his striking wife Judith, her mother, and film director Stanley Forbes and his much younger girlfriend, the large group settles in for days of sunshine, wine tasting, and trips to the beach. But when a violent incident disrupts the idyll, darker motivations are revealed, and suddenly no one can be trusted. As the ultimate holiday soon turns into a nightmare, the circumstances surrounding Ralph's later death begin to reveal the disturbing reality behind that summer's tragedy.
Featuring the razor-sharp humor and acute psychological insight that made The Dinner an international phenomenon, Summer House with Swimming Pool is a controversial, thought-provoking novel that showcases Herman Koch at his finest.


text:
GATE Syllabus for Agricultural Engineering (AG) in pdf format
GATE Syllabus for Agricultural Engineering (AG) in word format
Engineering Mathematics
Matrices and Determinants, Systems of linear equations, Eigen values and eigen vectors.
Limit, continuity and differentiability; Partial Derivatives; Maxima and minima; Sequences and series; Test for convergence; Fourier series.
Vector Calculus:
Gradient; Divergence and Curl; Line; surface and volume integrals; Stokes, Gauss and Green's theorems.
Differential Equations:
Linear and non-linear first order ODEs; Higher order linear ODEs with constant coefficients; Cauchy's and Euler's equations; Laplace transforms; PDEs - Laplace, heat and wave equations.
Probability and Statistics:
Mean, median, mode and standard deviation; Random variables; Poisson, normal and binomial distributions; Correlation and regression analysis.
Numerical Methods:
Solutions of linear and non-linear algebraic equations; integration of trapezoidal and Simpson's rule; single and multi-step methods for differential equations.
Farm Machinery and Power
Sources of power on the farm-human, animal, mechanical, electrical, wind, solar and biomass; bio-fuels; design and selection of machine elements - gears, pulleys, chains and sprockets and belts; overload safety devices used in farm machinery; measurement of force, torque, speed, displacement and acceleration on machine elements. Soil tillage; forces acting on a tillage tool; hitch systems and hitching of tillage implements; mechanics of animal traction; functional requirements, principles of working, construction and operation of manual, animal and power operated equipment for tillage, sowing, planting, fertilizer application, inter-cultivation, spraying, mowing, chaff cutting, harvesting, threshing and transport; testing of agricultural machinery and equipment; calculation of performance parameters -field capacity, efficiency, application rate and losses; cost analysis of implements and tractors Thermodynamic principles of I.C. engines; I.C. engine cycles; engine components; fuels and combustion; lubricants and their properties; I.C. engine systems - fuel, cooling, lubrication, ignition, electrical, intake and exhaust; selection, operation, maintenance and repair of I.C. engines; power efficiencies and measurement; calculation of power, torque, fuel consumption, heat load and power losses.
Tractors and power tillers - type, selection, maintenance and repair; tractor clutches and brakes; power transmission systems - gear trains, differential, final drives and power take-off; mechanics of tractor chassis; traction theory; three point hitches- free link and restrained link operations; mechanical steering and hydraulic control systems used in tractors; human engineering and safety in tractor design; tractor tests and performance.
Soil and Water Conservation Engineering
Ideal and real fluids, properties of fluids; hydrostatic pressure and its measurement; hydrostatic forces on plane and curved surface; continuity equation; Bernoulli's theorem; laminar and turbulent flow in pipes, Darcy- Weisbach and Hazen-Williams equations, Moody's diagram; flow through orifices and notches; flow in open channels. Engineering properties of soils; fundamental definitions and relationships; index properties of soils; permeability and seepage analysis; shear strength, Mohr's circle of stress, active and passive earth pressures; stability of slopes. Hydrological cycle; meteorological parameters and their measurement, analysis of precipitation data; abstraction from precipitation; runoff; hydrograph analysis, unit hydrograph theory and application; stream flow measurement; flood routing, hydrological reservoir and channel routing. Measurement of distance and area; chain surveying, methods of traversing; measurement of angles and bearings, plane table surveying; types of levelling; contouring; instruments for surveying and levelling; computation of earth work. Mechanics of soil erosion, soil erosion types; wind and water erosion; factors affecting erosion; soil loss estimation; biological and engineering measures to control erosion; terraces and bunds; vegetative waterways; gully control structures, drop, drop inlet and chute spillways; earthen dams; water harvesting structures, farm ponds, watershed management.
Soil-water-plant relationship, water requirement of crops; consumptive use and evapotranspiration; irrigation scheduling; irrigation efficiencies; design of irrigation channels; measurement of soil moisture, irrigation water and infiltration; surface, sprinkler and drip methods of irrigation; design and evaluation of irrigation methods. Drainage coefficient; planning, design and layout of surface and sub-surface drainage systems; leaching requirement and salinity control; irrigation and drainage water quality. Groundwater occurrence confined and unconfined aquifers, evaluation of aquifer properties; well hydraulics; groundwater recharge. Classification of pumps; pump characteristics; pump selection and installation.
Agricultural Processing and Food Engineering
Steady state heat transfer in conduction, convection and radiation; transient heat transfer in simple geometry; condensation and boiling heat transfer; working principles of heat exchangers; diffusive and convective mass transfer; simultaneous heat and mass transfer in agricultural processing operations. Material and energy balances in food processing systems; water activity, sorption and desorption isotherms; centrifugal separation of solids, liquids and gases; kinetics of microbial death - pasteurization and sterilization of liquid foods; preservation of food by cooling and freezing; refrigeration and cold storage basics and applications; psychrometry - properties of air-vapour mixture; concentration and drying of liquid foods - evaporators, tray, drum and spray dryers.
Mechanics and energy requirement in size reduction of granular solids; particle size
analysis for comminuted solids; size separation by screening; fluidization of granular
solids-pneumatic, bucket, screw and belt conveying; cleaning and grading; Effectiveness of grain cleaners.
Hydrothermal treatment, drying and milling of cereals, pulses and oilseeds; Processing of seeds, spices, fruits and vegetables; By-product utilization from processing industries.
Controlled and modified atmosphere storage; Perishable food storage, godowns, bins and grain silos.
GATE Syllabus for Agricultural Engineering (AG) in pdf format
GATE Syllabus for Agricultural Engineering (AG) in word format


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Our Kindergarten Fair is coming up – heaps of fun for our little ones. Remember to book the date!
Our Kindergarten Fair is coming up – heaps of fun for our little ones. Remember to book the date!
To be fully completed and submitted with all requirements for pre-assessment & consideration (Instructions on how to supply the requirements will follow during the application):
Our school's financial liquidity is dependent on prompt payment of school fees. Fees are subject to an annual increase and all fees are fully payable in advance. The Board of Trustees reserves the right to make adjustments to the school fees and related charges, as it may deem fit.
Bank details: Absa
Branch code: 505309
Account no.: 1079140534 (fee account)
Account name.: Constantia Waldorf School, or Waldorf Schools Association (for Standard Bank)
Foreign payments (bank charges to be included) Swift Code: ABSA ZAJJ
Cheques: Constantia Waldorf School
A 3% rebate is offered for annual fees fully paid in advance by 15 January. Interest on fees paid in advance will be retained by the school.
A routine probation period of two terms applies on entry. Should the student remain in our school, a minimum one term/three months written notice of withdrawal applies – preferably longer would be beneficial for all concerned – or provisional notice (subject to conditions), with your request for refund of deposit, if the parent/s wish to terminate this contract and withdraw the student prior to the final exit examination. At the end of Primary School two terms written notice applies. If such notice is not given, a full term's fees, at the rate applicable for which the student would have been at Constantia Waldorf, shall be due in lieu thereof.
If the school elects for any reason to terminate this contract, it may do so, on giving the parent a term's written notice (three months) of its decision, at which time the parent must immediately withdraw the student.
A CEMIS transfer certificate is issued on the student's last school day, or when the fee account has been fully paid.
Admission from Primary to High School is not automatic, and is subject to a successful interview, a term's probation and payment of the applicable High School Deposit.
Deposits may not be refunded in the event of cancellation prior to commencement. They are refundable at the end of the student's period of enrolment at the school, with no interest, on your written application, if the fee account is fully paid and all library books, sports outfits etc have been returned.
General information is emailed to parents in our weekly newsletter "The Grapevine". Parents are expected to attend all termly Class Parent meetings and talks, the Annual General Meeting, festivals and at least one Introductory talk/course in Waldorf Education. Families are expected to participate in fundraising events. Parents are held responsible for supporting our expectations, behaviour code and punctual attendance of their children at school and all school functions.
Constantia Waldorf School accepts no responsibility for any personal property brought to school.
Please read through carefully, complete all questions and both parents should sign the application form. Note that this application cannot be processed until we receive all the requirements listed below. Instructions on how to supply the requirements will follow during the application.
Please note that any relevant non-disclosure will result in nullifying this application.
Applications are pre-assessed and considered for interviewing. Acceptance is not guaranteed and is subject to there being a vacancy and a successful Teacher interview and Financial interview with the admin. office, including a consumer credit check. You will be advised during the year prior to entry if/when interview/s can be arranged.
The financial liquidity of the school is dependent on the prompt payment of school fees by parents/guardians. All monthly fees are to be paid in advance on or before the 1st working day of every month. The Board of Trustees of the Constantia Waldorf School reserves the right to make adjustments to the school fees and related charges from time to time, as it may deem fit.
Application & School fee payments bank details:
Absa, Branch Code: 505309,
Account number: 1079140534
"Constantia Waldorf School" or "Waldorf Schools Association"
Cheques to be made out to "Constantia Waldorf School".
Foreign fee payments bank details: as above – Swift Code: ABSA ZAJJ
A 3% rebate is offered for fees paid annually in advance, before 15 January 2014.
Once the pupil has entered the school, a minimum of one clear term's written notice (3 months) of withdrawal and request for the refund of the acceptance deposit must be given to the school office, if the parent wishes to terminate this contract for any reason and to withdraw the pupil prior to the final exit examination, with the exception at the end of Primary School 2 term's written notice applies. If such notice is not given to the office, a full term's fees (3 months), at the rate applicable for the next term in which the pupil would have been, shall be paid in lieu thereof. Likewise, if the school elects for any reason to terminate this contract, then it may do so, on giving the parent a clear term's written notice (3 months) of its decision to terminate the contract, at which time the parent must withdraw the pupil. A CEMIS transfer certificate will issued on the pupil's last day of school or when the fee account has been fully settled. Admission from Playgroup to Kindergarten, Kindergarten to Primary School and Primary to High School is not automatic and is subject to a routine term's probation and the payment of the increased Acceptance Deposit.
It is important to maintain regular contact between parents and teachers. General information is emailed through our weekly "The Grapevine", keeping families up to date with happenings at school. During the year you would be expected to attend all termly Class Parent evenings, talks, the Annual General Meeting and festivals so that you can meet the teachers and learn more about the children and their education. From time to time we have introductory courses in Waldorf Education and parents are asked to attend if they have not previously done so, in order that our methods and expectations can be explained. The school holds one or more big fundraising events during the year. All families are expected to play an active part in these events.
– Parents are held responsible for supporting our teacher's expectations and requirements as elaborated in our Playgroup and Kindergarten General Information and Commitment for Entry documents.
– Should your child require extra/remedial lessons/therapy in the future, this would be an additional cost.
Disclaimer: Constantia Waldorf School does not accept responsibility for any personal property brought to school.


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Encino California Process Servers
Encino California Process Serving
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Information when YOU need it! With legal cases, in is far better to be 'Pro-Active' rather than re-active! With our 'Proweb' system you can now track the status of your service of process assignments via our website, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
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Process Servers - Messenger Services
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Process Server San Fernando Valley Process Servers San Fernando Valley


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Robin Leach, the debonair TV host who regaled audiences with talk of "champagne wishes and caviar dreams," has died, his publicist confirmed to CNN.
He was 76.
John Katsilometes, a writer for the Las Vegas Review-Journal, where Leach was working as a columnist before his death, said on Twitter Leach had suffered a stroke and had been hospitalized since November.
Born in London, Leach was a veteran journalist best known for his syndicated TV show "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous," which ran from 1984 to 1995.
Celebrity deaths of 2018: Remembering those we've lost this year
Leach's family issued a statement to the Review-Journal.
"Despite the past 10 months, what a beautiful life he had. Our Dad, Grandpa, Brother, Uncle and friend Robin Leach passed away peacefully last night at 1:50 a.m.," the family said in a statement. "Everyone's support and love over the past, almost one year, has been incredible and we are so grateful."
Leach began his career in newspapers, writing for the Daily Mail, People and the New York Daily News. He moved to the U.S. in the early 1960s becoming editor of media mogul Rupert Murdoch's tabloid Star. He later helped launch "Entertainment Tonight," through Paramount Television, before co-creating and hosting "Lifestyles."
Upon news of his death, some of Leach's famous friends paid tribute to the host.
Vince Neil called Leach a "long time friend" and "an amazing person."
"He's going to be missed by me and thousands more worldwide," he wrote.
Food Network personality and chef Scott Conant said Leach was "always kind to me and a friend to Las Vegas businesses I've had over the past almost 10 years."
"I hope you're resting at your grand chalet in the sky my friend," he wrote.
In a 2016 interview with the Hollywood Reporter when he joined the Review-Journal, Leach said, "It's been a good life, and it's always been a good life. I have been rewarded very nicely."
™ & © 2018 Cable News Network, Inc., a Time Warner Company. All rights reserved.


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This is in the oven and my it smells wonderful!
Wow, this was absolutely great and definitely satisfied my pizza craving.
I'm in Induction right now so I adapted the crust recipe a bit : 4 oz cream cheese 1/3 cup heavy cream 4 eggs 1/4 cup grated parmesan (from 3 oz parmesan) Teaspoon of garlic powder Oregano & basil (about a teaspoon each) Cracked pepper Basically I skipped the 2 cups of grated cheese in the crust. Baked it 60 minutes at 350 to make sure it was hard enough. Smelled heavenly too! Made my own sauce with 1/4 cup of diced, canned tomatoes, 1 clove of garlic, spices and 1/4 cup olive oil - everything went into the blender. This was topped with a grandiose load of 1 cup (12 oz) mozzarella, ground beef, bacon, onions and green peppers and yielded 6 big pieces (about 6"x4" and a good 3" high!). One was enough to satisfy me. So 12 oz mozzarella / 6 = 2 oz of mozzarella 4 oz of cream cheese / 6 = 2/3 oz of cream cheese 3 oz of parmesan / 6 = 1/2 oz of parmesan A total of 3 1/3 oz of cheese (my only cheese intake today). I think this falls within induction guidelines, I'm happy and full - thank you so much for this recipe! |
i never thought about taking tomato paste and thining it down with water to make a sauce out of it. i need to use this recipe again in the next week. sue
This is still one of my favorite recipes after all these years. Made it last night with roasted onions, red peppers, sausage and bacon pieces. AMAZING..
Pesto makes an amazing LC pizza sauce, it's my kids favorite. We also make a white pizza which is a little higher carb but still lower than tomato sauce. (we use ricotta, olive oil, fresh garlic and basil, mozzarella for the white pizza but you could probably use alfredo, spinach and moz. for even lower count) |
can you pls tell me how many people does this serve.....thanks |
For our family, 2 adults, 3 kids.
Depends on how much you want to eat at a sitting. I can sometimes eat only half of mine and save the rest for the next day's lunch. Reheats well. |
Made this again today - yummmmmmy!
[QUOTE=lpioch]For our family, 2 adults, 3 kids.
Thank you |
Although I've made this often 2-3 years ago -- several of my variants are in this monster thread somewhere -- I haven't done it in a long time. And I had never actually done it exactly to the recipe.
My nearly-13 year old is on lowcarb with me. After a few weeks of having nothing but burger patties, chicken breasts and sandwich 'wraps' on LC tortillas, she found Karen Barnaby's beautiful book "The Low-Carb Gourmet" on my shelf. The pictures totally sold her LOL! She has gone through it several times now and picked out recipes she insists we try. The first one was the Deep Dish Pizza Quiche. She and I have had a long ongoing 'issue' of her not wanting to help in the kitchen, when I want to teach her to cook, and she just wants me to be the servant I guess lol. This seems to have changed that. She realizes now that if I cook, she is going to get very simple, almost entirely protein fare. If WE cook, she can have interesting things. So suddenly she wants to cook with me. It's awesome. So tonight we made our first meal, DDPQ. Made the base exactly to spec. We grilled canadian bacon for her and pepperoni for me first, then sauteed in butter some onions and mushrooms. Put that on and the rest of the cheese. She liked it a lot. She ate two pieces instead of one and wanted more but I convinced her that we'd just put them in ziplocks and when she wakes up if she wants PQ for breakfast she can just put a piece on a plate and nuke it. We forgot black olives for a topping. And we would like a tad more sauce and a little more cheese on top. That ups the calories/carbs a bit but we'll probably do it that way next time. I'm grateful for this recipe. It's a big deal to find something that my kid likes, let alone that she is willing to spend time cooking with me. We actually had fun, did dishes, it was a good night together. I think it was the sheer beauty of Karen's book that sparked that happening. I guess there's a lot to be said for awesome pictures in cookbooks! |
Oh yum! So glad you and your daughter had an enjoyable evening cooking together..and something health at that!! With a teenage girl in the house I know how priceless that is! I might have to seek out that cookbook. The picture on the cover alone has me salivating. ;)
I can't believe I've been on the forums for over a year and never tried this recipe. I'm making my 2nd pan full of it this week!
If you like pizza, you have to try this recipe :yum: |
Ive been making this for 4 years and its still my favorite low carb recipe!
I'm usually not a fan of quiche but this really makes me want to try it!
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Deborah Rosental wants to volunteer 2020-02-14 19:03:32 -0600
THLN is looking for enthusiastic, self-motivated individuals to join in our mission to advocate for Texas animals by effecting systemic change. If you've got a passion for animals and want to contribute to making a tangible difference in thousands of Texas animal's lives, volunteer with us and become part of the most powerful statewide network for animals.
With a variety of volunteer opportunities available, you're bound to find something that suits your interests, talents and schedule.
Please fill out the form linked below to get started, and make sure to check out our upcoming events!
Step 1: Please complete the form below and then click 'Next' to answer some questions about where you would most like to help us. PLEASE NOTE: YOUR APPLICATION WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED COMPLETE UNTIL THE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED.
Become a volunteer


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Rome's Marina Lombardi (Ali di Libellula) makes lyrical jewelry by pairing delicate polymer clay focal pieces with pearls, filigree, stones and crystals. She coaxes microspheres into just the right spots for hints of color and texture.
Her pieces are often photographed with a bit of reference material in the background – wallpapers, fresoes, illustrations. It's very effective and there's more on her Flickr site.
Marco Holler sometimes collaborates with Lombardi. The duo dressed up a swirl lentil bead by adding an image transfer and gold embellishment to produce these beautiful romantic Italian earrings. See more of their collaborations here.
It all puts me in mind of vineyards and villas and vacations. Have a great weekend.


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Let's Make Your Party As Fun & Original As You Are!
Our extensive line of products focuses on body safe materials with new and inventive products from aluminum, glass, wood, ceramics, stainless steel and the best silicone products on the market , so a party you throw with Intimate Tickles by Tara in Iowa is a party for everyone, and your party theme is limited only by your imagination!
It immediately becomes YOUR party when you add a bit of spice to your special event by incorporating a theme. Turn your Intimate Tickles Party into a Intimate Tickles Mexican Fiesta or a Intimate Tickles Toga Party. Check out some of our suggestions below or create your own. Give us a call about making your Intimate Tickles themed party an event that your friends will remember!
Our goal is to empower & educate you at every stage of life and our consultants strive to make everyone at their parties feel comfortable in every way. Our Consultants are extensively trained, so they will be able to provide you & your friends with countless ways to feel more beautiful, live more passionately, and discover new ways to extend, expand, and ignite your sexual experiences.
- Bachelorette Party
- Little Black Dress
- Holiday Party
- Birthday Party
- Pajama Party
- Sexy And Single
We are sure that YOU can come up even more reasons to have a fun filled Intimate Tickles Party! Share you ideas, and let's Book Your Party.
Romance Parties are a great way to get your girls and/or couples together and enjoy a fun night of giggles ,entertainment AND education. Gone are the days of birthdays and holidays being the only time to get together with friends and family… now there are more and more reasons to invite everyone over to celebrate an event in our lives.
With so many choices out there it certainly can seem a daunting task to find a company that you feel comfortable booking your party with. That is why we urge you to give us a try. Intimate Tickles parties will go the extra mile to make your party an event of complete satisfaction and joy.


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Hello everyone and welcome back to the Paper Shelter Challenges. A big thank you to our players from last challenge. There were some lovely entries this week too, just like every other week.
We have a luck winner and that is Linda Simpson. A very lovely looking card! Thank you for playing with us. Just click the email elf to the left and he take you to the Paper Shelter to sort out your prize. You have won three digis of you choise. You have a lot of hard work to do as there is so many cuties around. Congrats from all of us!
Ok, back to the new challenge right away. This week we have set the theme of Tie a bow. So somewhere on your card or other creation we would like to see a tied bow. How simple is that? I want to see tons and tons of entries this week. I need to get some inspiration for coming challenges. LoL
What you can win? Ahh, as usually we have the smashing $20 voucher up for grabs if you use a TPS image on your creation. We really would love to see more of using them so we can give away our vouchers. If you use another brand of image the prize will be three digis of your choice. That's nice too, even if you get so many more images for the $20 voucher. :)
My gals has been doing a lovely job with some smashing cards to inspire you all once again. Please drop by and give them some love. They do such a wonderful job to inspire you all.
And now only one thing left to say; have a wonderful new crafting year 2012! We hope that you'll keep coming back and play with us! We love it when you do!
With love n hugs
from the Paper Shelter's B team


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Kameha Grand Zürich - Zurich Hotels - Zurich, CH
Kameha Grand Zürich is a wild and witty antidote to its industrial Glattpark surroundings. Don't be fooled by its boxy, glass-and-steel exterior.
The graciously overblown wit and opulence of its Swiss-inspired interior, from the giant custom-made cowbells that hover precariously over the lobby to the chocolate-bar walls inside the hotel rooms, disarm and charm at every turn and make a visit here unforgettable.
Business travelers will appreciate the hotel's close proximity to the Zurich


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The fencing that remains surrounding the U.S. Capitol building since it was stormed during a riot on Jan. 6 is likely to come down on Friday.
According to the Associated Press, the fence is expected to be removed on July 9.
In an email obtained by CNN, U.S. Capitol Police said, "based on USCP's assessment of the current threat environment and USCP's enhanced coordination with District of Columbia, neighboring state and federal law enforcement partners, the Board supports USCP's recommendation to remove the temporary fencing around Capitol Square."
The fence should take about three days to remove, CNN reported.
The police added that weather might prevent the removal, and according to CNN, a storm is expected to move through the area that could delay the removal process.
An outer fence was removed in March by Capitol Police, but the interior fence that surrounded the Capitol was left in place.