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Feb 05 2013
A Skier's Tale
Caution: This is a very, very long story. But I have to get a few things out.
Thank you for your patience and understanding through this difficult time.
I can't adequately describe what a great time I've had over the past week. Everything I loved about last year's trip, I've also loved about this year's trip…and then some. I realize that made no grammatical sense whatsoever. What I'm trying to say is this: I've loved the time we've spent as a family. I've loved the mountain air. I've loved all the walking we've done. And yes…I've loved the skiing. Loved and hated and loved and hated the skiing.
We arrived the middle of last week, just as a foot of snow was falling on Vail. So when we donned our skis, the snow couldn't have been more powdery and perfect. I'm not a strong skier and I'll do absolutely anything not to fall, so the fresh powder made for a wonderful day for me. I took a lesson from the same instructor I'd used last year, and by the end of the day I was in a state of elation and exhilaration. I felt like I could conquer the world. I felt I could paint, sculpt, write a sonnet. My heart was beating inside my chest with renewed fervor.
By Sunday, though, after a weekend of heavy ski traffic, the snow was packed and had become more slick. One trip down the practice slopes and I knew things were going to be different for me. Nothing was working right and I had to rethink everything I thought I knew. I kept second-guessing my form, my technique, and my whole life. I fell three times, getting more dangerously close to tears each time. And to compound things, I'd uncharacteristically skipped breakfast, which didn't help me on the endurance front. My heart was beating inside my chest with renewed doom. After a morning of skiing, I was ready to pack it in. Also, I wanted to eat a building.
Just as I was about to head to the gondola and return to the peace and flatness of the bottom of the slopes, I received a text from Marlboro Man, who asked where I was. I took off my big, puffy glove and texted back that I was running, not walking, to the gondola. He replied that he'd be there in just a few minutes. I assumed this meant he'd ride down to the bottom of the mountain with me on the gondola, and that we'd disembark arm in arm, and walk gracefully to the nearest restaurant in Lionshead Village, where we'd dine on a leisurely lunch and wait for all of the spirited and active children to finish their skiing and join us. Then maybe I'd head to the spa for a massage. One that involved hot stones, aromatherapy, and no inclines.
I was deep in my fantasies about the way the rest of my day would go when I heard my beloved's voice in the distance. "C'mon, honey!' he hollered.
Yay! I thought. It's time to go to lunch! I need meat and carbs! But when I spotted Marlboro Man in his distinctive red-and-black ski jacket and smoldering goatee, he still had his skis on. And he looked like he was about two years away from taking them off.
"C'mon," he repeated, motioning with his hand. "Let's ski to the bottom."
I looked at him, confused, and held up my hands, as if to say "But but but but…"
He motioned again.
I poled over to him, which must have made him fall in love with me all over again considering how graceful I must have looked, and I held up my hands again. But this time I said, "HECK NO, I'M DYING! I'M RIDING THE GONDOLA DOWN, HOMEBOY!" I encouraged him to go back and ski with all the kids, who were probably racing down whatever double black diamonds they could find. Show-offs.
"Naw, they're going to meet us at Garfinkel's," he said. "They're getting us a big table."
I have no idea what happened next, but before I knew it I was following Marlboro Man down the mountain on the easiest green slopes available. This is because I warned him, "If you take me on a blue, I will lose all ski trust in you and you'll never be able to get it back." I have a psychological block when it comes to the different colors of slopes. I fear that if I go on a blue slope, I will fall off an enormous precipice and roll to the bottom in a giant snowball tumbleweed. So for this trip anyway, I vowed never to leave the greens. Green is such a pretty color, after all. It conveys a sense of life, of abundance, of hope. Blue conveys cold…death. And don't even get me started on what black evokes.
I think my logic is sound.
The only downside to skiing greens, however, is that sometimes "easy" means you find yourself on paths that require polling. And polling, more than anything else, will wear out a 44-year-old redheaded mother of four quicker than careening down a blue slope will. So before we were even halfway down the mountain, real fatigue had begun to set in. I had to stop to catch my breath frequently, and even though he was trying his best to be patient, I could tell Marlboro Man was figuratively tapping his foot and looking at his watch and thinking that he probably should have just let me get on the gondola so he could ski as he was intended to ski.
During the next fifteen or twenty minutes, here's what happened:
I fell twice.
I became very frustrated and started crying.
Marlboro Man said don't cry.
I said I'm not crying!
We had to traverse a blue slope to connect with a green path, and I told Marlboro Man he's dead to me.
Then I told him I still loved him, though.
I fell again.
I cried again.
I denied crying again.
My muscles stopped working.
So by this time, it was still a ways to the bottom, and I was getting thirsty. This is because every ounce of fluid in my body had exited my pores in nervous, violent perspiration.
"Just go meet the kids," I told Marlboro Man, my voice getting weaker by the second. "I'm just going to sit down here and eat some snow."
"We're almost there," Marlboro Man said. "You'll make it—just keep going."
So we kept going. Then I stopped again. I felt like I was going to die. My hips and thighs were on fire, and I felt like I couldn't control my uphill leg at all. I needed a Saint Bernard to come save me. A Saint Bernard with Gatorade tied around his neck. A Saint Bernard named Claus.
"Honey, I mean it. Just go to the bottom and meet the kids. I'll get there eventually. I'll just stop and rest along the way," I said.
"I'm not leaving you on the mountain," he replied.
"Our children need you!" I cried. "They need you a lot more than I do!"
"They're ordering burgers," he said. "Burgers and fries. Now c'mon…just take it nice and easy."
"Okay, fiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh…" I groaned. "But just to let you know, I am going to die on this mountain. Make your peace with it, please."
"Okay," he said, continuing with more poling than he ever thought he'd do in Vail.
"I'll miss you," I continued, huffing and puffing.
"I'll miss you too," Marlboro Man replied.
I married the right man, that's all I can say.
I'll wrap this up because it's just more of the same: Me stopping and resting, Marlboro Man propelling me forward, me begging to stop and eat snow, me begging Marlboro Man to leave me and go meet the kids, Marlboro Man explaining that he's not leaving me because if he does, I'm liable to lie down and take a nap on the nearest snow drift.
And then, miraculously, we'd reached the bottom. Marlboro Man had to get behind me and push me to the ski racks once we reached level ground because I had no more fight left.
Then we walked arm in arm to the restaurant and joined the kids, who'd been there for over an hour.
I had a Reuben, and it was probably the best sandwich I've ever had in my life.
And here's the thing about skiing: I was right back out there yesterday. And I skied down the mountain again. And I became exhausted, wanted to eat snow, and wanted to lie down and take a nap again. The only difference was that this time, Marlboro Man sent my sister-in-law Missy with me instead.
I guess his concept of commitment only reaches so far!
451 Comments and 22 Replies
Laura On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:36 pm
HA! This reminds me of the time I "broke up" with my boyfriend on a mountain in Vail. The difference is, we were hiking UP, not skiing down. Something about that thin Colorado air…
Jane On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:37 pm
Sounds just exactly like my trip to Steamboat Springs. We went WAY up to the edge of the property. I'm a Green/Blueish skiier. The "guys" always make a race down the hill and are the blacks and double black skiers.
Come this way they say. NO WAY! Yes come on it's easy. By the time I got near the bottom, I was crying. Walking. Crying. Falling. Crying. Had to be pushed to the bus stop. NEVER will I ever ski with the guys. I prefer the outside hot tub where the steam crusts on top of your head. You make a mad dash to jump in because it's so cold and you're 1/2 naked. After soaking all the aches and pains away, you can mosey up to the 3rd floor condo and never feel how cold it actually is.
Memories! Can't do it now with 2 new knees. But I wish I could!
Margaret On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:43 pm
Been there, done that. And I love skiing Blues and groomed blacks.
I can't begin to tell you how many times the hubs wants me to pick the runs, only to find out that we didn't have a running start down some stupid green hill to get UP another stupid hill. And for those who've never skied Vail, the place is freaking HUGE. We usually eat at the place on Blue Sky Basin which is 3 mountains from Lionshead. It takes two hours just to get there.
Yeah, sister, I've been there. Virtual hug. And I'll probably be getting yelled at when we go skiing over Spring Break.. . but I don't think I'll be crying because I'll be full of spit and vinegar.
Tamra Rowan On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:44 pm
I can absolutely relate! The one ski trip I went on, I spent most of my time creating deep ravines on the bunny slopes with my rear end. I spent the rest of the trip on a snow-mobile! Much more fun!! Enjoy the rest of your trip!
Liz in Montana On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:58 pm
This sounds just like me the very last time I skied.
About 8 years ago.
And that was just fine with me:)
Michelle On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:59 pm
One time, at ski camp – I took the wrong hill and ended up in the mogul area. I cried, and fell my way to the bottom. Needless to say, after consuming much alcohol, that was the end of my ski weekend. (It was already Sunday, so it was going to end anyway.) Not, one of my proudest of moments but, still very, very funny.
May On Tuesday, February 5 at 2:59 pm
Awesome! Next winter, come to Bend, Oregon for fabulous skiing on Mt. Bachelor.
jesser On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:02 pm
Now I'm TRIPLY bummed I had a terrible cold and stayed at home last weekend! Because otherwise I could have looked for you (in a friendly non stalker kind of way, honest). What's puzzling to me is why you are not eating at the TOP of the mountain? There are such excellent places to grab a bite and none of them requires skiing to the bottom of the mountain when you're starving.
Glad you're enjoying some of my favorite places. Can't wait to hear about the restaurants!
squirrellymama On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:03 pm
Good story…remember to eat your protein for breakfast…and check your hormones when you get home…I'm 61 and I'm about to break your heart…but check those hormones anyway
Yvonne On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:05 pm
You really should write romantic novels, i would definitely buy them. It reminds me of Susan Elizabeth Phillips, her books are alway romantic and funny all in one
Annie On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:06 pm
What a joy to read your story. lol Not a skier but used to backpack with my husband. He never took a trail – it was always straight up the hill trying to balance the backpack, breathe, and be brave. So, I've felt that pain – even in my eyelashes. At the point of complete exhaustion on one of his endurance hikes up a hill, I tried to sit down on a rock to rest. My muscles were so weak and I was so out of breath that my tush missed the rock. I ended up rolling quite a way down the hill, and when I stopped I was spread-eagled across the trail that my husband had refused to take. I was so grateful to be laying down that I almost wasn't embarrassed when about 50 cub scouts came around the corner and discovered me laying there like a beached whale. The things we do in the name of fun!!
Daisygirl87 On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:08 pm
Ree I so feel for you girl! And I think my husband could sympathize with Marlboro Man lol!
Katie B On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:14 pm
Sounds like my last (YES IT WILL BE THE LAST) skiing experience. After I fell for the umpteenth time, I threw my poles, started to cry, and said "I quit". BF at the the time said you can't quit halfway down the mountain, and I said WATCH ME!! Next ski trip, many years later, I went to the spa for a hot stone massage and cocktails afterward. I have found my niche!
Indinana On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:18 pm
Reminds me of a 10-day mountain climbing adventure in December of 1985. By the end of the session, I wanted to call my Daddy to come and get me. I had been married for 16 years and was 36 years old! Hang in there girl it makes for wonderful memories!
Demetris Linnen On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:18 pm
Man sounds like your having the time of your life!!! I so loved this story, to funny!
Jen Wingo On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:20 pm
I laughed so hard when I read this…so cute! You're a brave woman!
Karol On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:21 pm
The last time I won't skiing my hubby took me down a slope ( I think it was something like a triple black). There was this igloo thingy in the middle of the slope that you were supposed to just glide right through. Who puts an igloo thingy in the middle of a ski slope anyway? Well I didn't glide through it. Instead I went up and over it and tumbled quiet unladylike down the other side. My husband and sister and children laughed very hard. I cried. I hurt from my hair follicles to my toenails for days. I have hated igloos ever since. I never want to go inside of one…….or over one…….ever again.
Aliece R On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:34 pm
We could so be friends!!! Whenever we go to the mountains I always want to ski alone. Mostly because I hate audiences when I fall so much!! But my hubby is always right there telling me it isn't that much further to the end. Sounds like a great time!!!
Wilna On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:35 pm
Loved you story, Ree, hope you are alright and having a great time! I can so relate, I've been there, done that, only didn't have a husband then to urge me on. Good friend and I missed our first lesson, so hopped (not literally) on the T-bar up to the top of a steep practice slope. As it turned out we had a hard time staying on the T-bar, but not as hard as staying on our feet trying to get down the practice slope. I hadn't learned to snow plow, so just (fell, rolled, mostly on my rear) from one side of the slope, to the other, until I finally reached the bottom. It was too late to catch a lesson, or catch our ride back to the lodge where we were staying…….they finally missed us and sent us a ride back. I have to say we did a lot better on a trail next day, that someone suggested, and it wasn't the bunny trail…..the gondola was a breeze compared to balancing that T-bar ride. I was sure the first day I would spend the remainder of my vacation in the ski lodge by the fire, but my, rather athletic friend did urge me on. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I never had the chance to go back……my husband doesn't like the cold, so it's the Southwest in the Winter, and Colorado has to wait till Summer. Take care, and use all those good survival skills you've learned……will be anxious to hear about the rest of your trip.
Tori On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:38 pm
Oh my goodness. I had that same exact experience. Ok, not exactly, but similar. My first time skiing, my husband wanted to skip the bunny hill and just do one of the green runs. But not the main one. An off-to-the-side one. "Don't worry, I'll help you!" And stupidly, I agreed. I think I spent more time in the snow than on my skis. And…and…the entire last slope down I was clinging for dear life to the back of his jacket, my skis through the middle of his, while he steered both of us. He went back up for more, I went back to the condo. It really is amazing how fatiguing skiing can be when you don't know how! Glad you hung in there and made it to lunch.
Kelly On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:39 pm
The same thing happened to me a few years ago, only I cried in front of all of our friends that came with us.
Melinda On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:43 pm
That is the funniest thing I have every read!!
winnie On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:43 pm
I'd suggest a small pack to carry a water bottle at a minimum, Ree. Being dehydrated will make you fatigued much too soon, and while Claus may be on the mountain, there are lots of folks needing that gatorade. I lived in Colorado for a good number of years and have by my own foul-ups learned that lesson on needing fluids when in the mountains or on the west slope. Even living in Denver, you find you need more to drink with high elevation or down by Mesa Verde – climate, activity and elevation will have that effect.
SoonerLaura On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:45 pm
Why do men never believe you when you tell them I'm DONE and I need to ride to the bottom? Poling is the worst. Taking a blue would be better, at least when you fall you have the slope of the mountain to help you up – much easier than getting up on flat ground. OR you can just slide down on your butt and cover some distance that now you don't have to go down standing up on your skis. I love skiing….and sitting by the fire with a hot drink looking out the window at the snowy mountains.
Liz On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:46 pm
You're alot braver then me! I wouldn't even TRY skiing! Good for you!
MaryMar On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:49 pm
Sounds like my one & only experience over 30yrs ago to Vail & I've never been back since. I discovered skiing is not for me. But now going to Vail for the dining & shopping is another story!!! Just can't convince my Hubby to go (the trip was before his time with someone else, a whole different story!)
Lisa H On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:56 pm
oh Ree!! I laughed so hard! I went to Vail every year for the first 10 years of our marriage. I bet I know exactly what catwalk you were on. It does look so good on the trail map. I have had that very day!! So funny, thanks for the laugh and the memories of the wonders, beauty and pain of skiing!!
kathleen On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:56 pm
Too stinkin funny! Those are brave words to tell us. Thank you for being brave. I have been there and done that and felt the same.
Lezlie On Tuesday, February 5 at 3:58 pm
I love to laugh and this was just the ticket for the day!
Random comment: My dog's name is Reuben. :o)
Nathalie aka threehorses On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:02 pm
You are a MESS woman! LOL A red-headed cute mess, but a funny one. I would probably have plopped right down in that snow and made a real-life snow angel after dying on the spot. (sigh). I'm glad you're having a fun time anyway, and these are the dreadful moments that become awesome memories!
Heather On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:06 pm
This is very cathartic for me — I'm in good company. I actually gave up figuring out skiing and took to snowboarding like a champ, but now I haven't been up in 5 years so I'm nervous about falling off the chair lift at the top. I'll have to get in some practice days before I bring my kids up or they'll be afraid to try it! It can be upsetting for a kids under 5 to see their mommy tangled in an embarrassing heap.
Christine Y. On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:07 pm
There are some things you should learn as a child and skiing is one of them. I was on the slopes for the first time at 37 years old and relate to your tale all too well. I believe I'm in pretty good shape, until a seven year old flies past you on a green slope and you literally want to get on the ground and stay in the fetal position until the kids stop taunting you! I went to ski school and learned how to make the pizza; but the sensation of losing all control and hitting a stationary object is enough to make me stay on the green slopes as long as I have a working brain! Glad you guys had fun.
MargieR On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:08 pm
I have had that same experience quite a few times! You always make me laugh – glad you are having "fun" skiing! It is a love/hate thing…..
dan's wife On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:20 pm
Note to self:
Dust off the skis, and hit the snow with the Mister this winter. He likes it when I go skiing with him, though my experience is much like yours.
Without kids and burgers waiting at the bottom.
grandmajohnnie On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:24 pm
Oh the moments to cherish!!! And the moments when you KNOW you married the right man. Thanks for sharing this!!!
Kelli On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:35 pm
I've never commented before, but I wanted you to know that this is exactly, to a T, how I felt last year as my husband and I skiied at Vail. I'm with you sister! I have a love/hate relationship with skiing. Thank goodness for patient husbands!!
Homeschool on the Croft On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:40 pm
I've never ski-ed in my puff.
And now, I'm committed to never changing that position.
Dana On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:42 pm
Thank you for this. I have promised to go skiing this weekend with my family, and I have been dreading it for 2 months. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I enjoy sticking with green, too, because my body does not like the next-day feel of falling 15 times down the slope. I am going to suck it up and ski because I spent an unreportable amount on a new ski jacket. At least it's white, and I will blend in with the snow.
Jenny On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:45 pm
First I want to say, "YOU POOR BABY!!!" Then, to let you know "Been there, done that…" Hope you know NOT to skip breakfast now, lol! And good luck! May your last bit of skiing be fun and your trip back to OK be a breeze…. and include many stops for food and drink!
Barb On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:46 pm
Been there, done that and would do it all over again 100 times………..love that snow!!!
Try whitewater next summer………your revenge to the snow!!!
Amy On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:53 pm
Thank You for literally making me Laugh Out Loud today – I really needed it!!! I really enjoy your updates.
Connie Ludwig On Tuesday, February 5 at 4:54 pm
You prevailed, plus, just think of all the calories you burned!!!
Quinn On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:12 pm
Um…"polling," Miss Schoolmarm??
judith On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:18 pm
Oh that was funny, this could be a scene in a movie, like when John Candy goes horseback riding in The Great Outdoors. My husband once walked down a mountain in New Mexico, he just took his skis off and carried them on his shoulder and walked right down that mountain. Then he put the skis in the truck, put on his boots and went straight to the bar. That was the last time he went skiing.
Staci On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:19 pm
I live in Utah and my husband drags me up to the mountain every weekend along with our 8 year old, 5 year and old and…….2 year old. The upside is that the actual skiing is easy but I am usually worn out by the time we get TO the ski lift. And then the skiing consists of constant holding and picking up. And then polling with them holding on to the back of me. Grrr. I feel for you.
Jenny On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:22 pm
I'm just learning to ski so I can completely relate to this post! Thanks for being so honest and hilarious
Sara W On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:24 pm
Boy did I need that laugh after a rough day at work. Laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face. Oh to be in beautiful Colorado instead of SC.
Melissa On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:27 pm
The descriptive way you write makes the images so vivid , you are hilarious, your honest account of your experience on the slope's is refreshing, and the dynamic between you and Marlboro man is beautiful
P.s, Its 38 degrees Celsius here in my little town in Australia today, I'm swetting buckets in the heat, wouldn't mind a bit of snow. Haha
J9 On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:41 pm
You need to take more than one lesson! If you have a lesson every day of your vacation – even group lessons – you will improve dramatically by the end of the week. Promise!
Shana On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:43 pm
Oh Ree!! This sounds EXACTLY like me with my husband last weekend. It had been well over a year since my last gaunt down the slopes and my thighs were BURNING!! ON FIRE!! I cried, too
Joy On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:45 pm
Your eloquent triad reminds me of the first (and ONLY) time I tried snow skiing. It was the early 80's and my new husband and I were stationed in Miesau, Germany. We took a ski trip to Zugspitze, the highest mountain in the Bavarian Alps. Should that have been my first clue? The ski lift trip up the mountain was beautiful- the sight from the top down the mountain, terrifying. My new husband "swooshing" down the mountain, past me multiple times, as I tried to remember all the information the ski instructor had given me in his native language (and not mine)! The final straw, was my last fall. One leg went to the left and the other to the right, with my left ski hitting my upper arm and the tip of the ski hitting my lip. As I lay in the snow, gathering my thoughts and slowly making sure I was still alive, my loving spouse "swooshed" up to me, spraying snow in my face!
We are still married (30 years this year), I have never snowed skied again (and I can honestly say I haven't missed it) and I appreciate those that enjoy the sport. Stay safe, Ree and enjoy the rest of your vacation!
Sweetie Sue On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:49 pm
I just wanted to comment on the "Farmer" Commercial shown during the Super Bowl Sunday night. It was by Dodge Ram and featured the voice of Paul Harvey. When I was watching it (through my tears) I thought of your family. Did anyone else make this connection or was it just me?
CindySue On Wednesday, February 6 at 3:41 pm
Me too. Oh my.
Sarah On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:51 pm
Next year you should try North Conway, NH (and the surrounding towns). I'm sure our mountains don't compare to Colorado, but we've got some pretty nice ski slopes – and when you get tired of skiing, you can come shop at Zeb's General Store (zebs.com), where I work!
Karri from California On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:51 pm
Wasn't Ladd being a bit of a bully at first?
I had a similar experience on a weekend backpacking trip in the mountains. We had to hike to a designated site before nightfall each day as per our permit. A friend had to literally push me the final distance even though I was an experienced hiker.
Marie W On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:52 pm
Having been born and raised on a farm in So. Wisconsin and now having spent the last 1/2 of my life in S. AZ, I will glad hike the mountain trail. A life time of cold and snow on a farm was enough. MM and you are so good for each other!!!
Kim On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:53 pm
Ree you crack me up! Loved reading your story. You have such a wonderful humor that makes anything you write so enjoyable to read. First off, I'd never make it to the top of the mountain. I'm scared to death of heights and my bone on bone knees would never make it! Give yourself a pat on the back and an A for effort. Hopefully by the end of your trip you'll be skiing like a pro! Enjoy and be safe!
ozark gram On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:55 pm
You are too funny Ree and can tell a picture-story better than most. I can relate. Skiing in that high altitude can make your limbs feel like they're ten times heavier than normal and the burning in the chest is excruciating. But you are right – get back on the mountain and go again knowing exactly what to expect.
jenjen On Tuesday, February 5 at 5:57 pm
I'm guessing a day trip to the X-games in Aspen is OUT??!!!
I do hope you see the "yard sale" pillow that we awarded our dear friend that we made annual Beaver Creek/Vail pilgrimage with our 6 children? she was ever the trooper and "yard saler" aficionado …awesome memories-thanks for making us relive them….they are mostly in college now:(
CindySue On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:02 pm
I picture your Dr. Dad reading this post. It is times like this 'run' when injuries occur. Glad you are OK. MM, Do not try this with a dehydrated menopausal woman!
Rae Ann On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:03 pm
You crack me up!!!!! Thanks for the laughs! You are a brave woman.
Susan in Alabama On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:04 pm
Glad you lived to ski another day!! Glad Marlboro Man didn't leave you on the mountain. With the kind of day you were having a big ole bear would probably have come out of the woods!! hahahahahahah!!
Love reading your posts and love your show even more!
Enjoy your vacation and your family!
Susan in Alabama On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:05 pm
Glad you lived to ski another day!! Glad Marlboro Man didn't leave you on the mountain. With the kind of day you were having a big ole bear would probably have come out of the woods!! hahahahahahah!!
Love reading your posts and love your show even more!
Enjoy your vacation and your family!
Paula Knepper On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:05 pm
You sound like my kind of skier! I am always so tired half way thru because I feel like I am working so hard to get down without falling. Last time we went I had a very stylish fall where I looked like a giant X! Lovely!
kiki On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:08 pm
this is the very reason why if I were to go skiing, the literal translation would be, "I'll watch you from the lodge (while sitting by the fire (in some really cool ski clothes) while sipping a hot chocolate)."
Jodi On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:10 pm
We skied Vail on Sunday as well, beautiful day! I've had to pick up my game this year, my 3 boys ages 7, 7, and 6 are on blues and even tried a black! Momma may have to stick with the blues and tell them I'll meet you in the lodge for a burger and fries! Great family fun on the slopes:)
peachy robinson On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:18 pm
I just had a tooth pulled this afternoon so I was trying HARD not to laugh but I cound't help it! Reminds me of every.time.I.go.skiing.
Martina On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:23 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your stories! I'm elated to know that I am not alone with similar antics!
Debbie Spinelli On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:27 pm
you poor, poor, woman! I have felt your pain! Glad you went back to it the next day. Just think of all the calories you have burned!!
Aliceinwonderland On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:34 pm
Been there, done that! Only I was skiing with my son. He got so frustrated he called the ski patrol and they took me off the mountain in a sled. I was totally humiliated. That was the last time I downhill skied!
Phyllis Ford On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:35 pm
This post was/is classic Ree. I loved it. I laughed out loud, and I was sorry when I got to the end. I'm so glad that you haven't lost your fabulous sense of humor and your ability to lace it throughout your writing.
Denise in VA On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:37 pm
We need a new word:
Ree-larious. Like "hilarious", but funnier, in a way that all of us can relate to, and sweeter….
I've been there–snowshoe-backpacking. "Just leave me here….I have a tent, a stove, a sleeping bag…just pick me up on the way out..". Didn't work then, either. of m
One of my hubby's famous lines is "we NEVER split our troops". (he attended a military school.) He'll stick with you until *everyone* gets home.
Janene K On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:41 pm
Sounds like you "hit the wall"! By not eating breakfast, you ran out of "fuel"! I've had it happen twice. Once on a long hike in Kauai after a very light breakfast and again on a very long bike ride without having lunch. You just feel like you can't take one more step or pedal one more pedal! So eat breakfast and keep having fun!!
alicia k On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:41 pm
Great story and story-telling!! I have been in a similar situation so I can relate.
Sounds like a fabulous time!! Safe travels home!
Phyllis On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:41 pm
I laughed until I cried. Thanks for that. I skied greens until I turned it all in for cross country. I don't cross a lot of country mind you but love being out there. However, I heard you loud and clear. You tell a story like no other. Thanks for sharing.
Eve On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:50 pm
Loved your story (as usual!) and totally get it! If I ever go near a ski hill again, it better have an awesome spa because that's where I'll be spending my time! There and reading a book next to a roaring fireplace, being waited on by a handsome server….while the rest of the family struggles and falls and freezes on the ski hills!
Teresa On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:54 pm
That story is so me and my husband. I laughed so hard reading it, I was crying!
Jan On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:55 pm
Oh, those "c'mon you can do it" people annoy me when I want to just flump down in the snow and bawl. They always turn out to be right.
Massage tomorrow, girl. Your muscles need it, nay, require it.
Ana On Tuesday, February 5 at 6:57 pm
Good for you! I am so glad you did enjoy yourself after all.
hanalei On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:02 pm
This also happens with first time SNOWBOARDING!!! I've been there! It get's better haha
Susan D On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:04 pm
You're a brave soul Ree!! Thanks for letting us in on your vacation – enjoy
patricia On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:04 pm
lol!!!! Ree Ree what a tale
Michele On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:05 pm
Oh Ree! I cracked up reading your ski tale and loved that you shared that with us! That Reuben you had would have included a martini if that was my adventure. Proud of you for getting back on the mountain!
Aimee from AL On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:06 pm
This post made my night and this is why. Before my husband I got married four years ago we thought it would be a good idea to go skiing together. You essentially just wrote our story and I can appreciate every tear, every "Just go, leave me here", and every "I'm going to die on this mountain" to the utmost extent. We haven;t been brave enough to go skiing together again since but after reading this I think we may be ready. If you and Marlboro Man can do it two years in a row, we can do it once every 6 years. Glad you enjoyed your trip!
jojo On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:06 pm
you are so funny and tell your story in such a captivating way!
I think we all have had a day like this, I am just so happy we have our Marlboro Men to stand by our side( or at least send someone to be by our side) HaHa!
Debbie Tanner On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:12 pm
I had this exact same experience in the Grand Canyon, except we were going up instead of down!
Linda On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:23 pm
Strange reading your post, I had a very similar experience some years past…. Just one more run the boys said! Ok, I can do it.. Not down the north face in -10 degree temps! Fell a few times cried, quit and my George says" I'm not leaving you, you can make it down"! Well I made it downs thanks to him and since our vacations are in 80 degree weather!!! Lol!
LeeAnne F On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:24 pm
I am soooo happy to hear that I am not the only one who cried on the slopes from frustration and exhaustion! I used to ski, but after a knee injury, moved to snow tubing. Then I met my husband. A snowboarder. Let's just say that he, too, has the patience of a saint and had to deal with me crying and groaning and being asked to leave and meet up with his friends who knew how to snowboard.
Thank God he loves me.
Now, I enjoy snowboarding, but am still cautious so I like it when his good friends come. I stay with the newbies and look like I am a pro. Til they pick it up. Then, they see I'm really not that good, but I am out there!! Ahhh, winter!
Cyndi A On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:29 pm
You have reminded my why I DON'T ski and never will. Thank you so much for the reminder.
Theresa in Alberta On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:29 pm
Oh my eh!!! Sleep all the way home and eat an extra extra dessert tonight at supper ;p
Tonya J. On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:32 pm
I have never been skiing. But I know all about altitude sickness and trying to keep up the "big dogs" on family vacations. It is a blessing and a curse. I can't imagine trying to ski and keep pace with the clan.
Betsy D On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:38 pm
Not quite as funny as the donut case crash of 2012, but everytime you wrote that you wanted to eat snow, I laughed out loud. Good for you that you got back on the slopes the next day. You're a champ, Ree.
Kathy On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:50 pm
We have never skied together. Or separately for that matter. And I don't know that we ever will. We did however hike down and up the Grand Canyon, but not very much of it was together. You keep that Marboro Man, Ree. Mr K wouldn't have left me on the mountain (canyon wall) indefinitely, but he sure wasn't going to walk with his slow wife. Hardest thing I've ever done, walk down and back up, and I was proud of myself that I actually made it. But it was hard walking alone. You tell your sweetie I said thank you and enjoy the family time.
Sammy On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:51 pm
I swear you were channeling my husband and I! We cross country ski now….that's about all I can take.
Deb On Tuesday, February 5 at 7:59 pm
Oh, Ree! We are one! God bless you, sweetie!
Cindy K On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:03 pm
Ok Ree I love you but never ever skip a good breakfast. You need the energy and when you get tired accidents or injury happen. Nuff said you can do it you are PW and we are loving your stories!
From personal experience once you stop you become a target for others so keep going and it does take a little speed to carve the turns! Snow does change alot and never ski under any chair lifts someone will spit…it gets ugly, very ugly! Haha don't ask how I know.
lilah On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:07 pm
Oh my word! Your story is too funny!!!
BriBedell On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:17 pm
My husband lost my ski trust a long time ago! He took me down a black diamond. In Utah. I could have killed him & shoved his body over a cliff!!!
Deanna On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:32 pm
Lol! My husband and I got married on a boulder on International Pass, overlooking the village of Vail. We walked to and from the starlight ceremony. The following day I DID ride the gondola down. No way Jose I was going to actually ski down! It was our honeymoon after all and I didn't want to spend it with broken bones! That was 25 years ago this month!
Terry from Georgia On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:42 pm
hahahaha I could feel the icy snow hitting my face as we skied down the mountain. Yes, I was that little figure right there in front of you standing on your skis, seeing everything you saw and feeling everything you felt. What a ride girlfriend. That was like a great book that makes you become part of the journey. Thank you for sharing this with us, your fan club. You're a trooper. Makes me realize I need to go out and do something outside my box. Yep, will ponder this.
Amy On Tuesday, February 5 at 8:45 pm
I had a similar experience on a snowboarding day in Keystone with my now husband. He called out, "don't let the mountain beat you!" Bless his heart, but I nearly punched him in the face Good for you getting back out there!


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By David H. Ringstrom, CPA
Hiding and unhiding rows and columns are mundane tasks that many users take for granted. However, sometimes simple tasks can trip up Excel users, like unhiding just one row or column within a hidden set. Other users don't know simple keystroke commands that can streamline hiding and unhiding columns or rows. In this article, I'll explore these techniques as well as discuss two powerful alternatives to manually hide and unhide rows and columns. I'll also discuss how to re-enable an Excel keyboard shortcut that's disabled in any operating system subsequent to Windows XP.
- Excel 2007 and later: On the Home tab, choose Format in the Cells section of the ribbon, and then choose Hide & Unhide, and then either Hide Rows or Unhide Rows.
- Excel 2003 and earlier: Choose Format, Row, and then either Hide or Unhide.
Tip: Remember, to unhide rows, you must select rows on either side of the hidden set. If you're trying to unhide rows at the top of the worksheet, click on the first visible row, and then move your mouse up to the top of the screen.
- Click on Language within the Control Panel.
- Click Advanced Settings, and then click the Change Language Bar Hot Keys link.
- Click Change Key Sequence, select Not Assigned in the Switch Keyboard Layout section, and then click OK as needed.
Windows Vista or Windows 7:
- Click Region and Language within the Control Panel.
- Choose the Keyboards and Languages tab, and then click Change Keyboards.
- Click the Advanced Key Settings tab, and then click Change Key Sequence.
- Select Not Assigned in the Switch Keyboard Layout section, and then click OK as needed.
Windows XP:
- No Control Panel changes are necessary.
Unhide Selectively
- Excel 2007 and later: Choose Find and Select on the Home tab, and then click Go To.
- Excel 2003 and earlier: Choose Edit and then Go To.
2. If you don't know the exact address of the cell you're looking for, press Ctrl-F to display the Find window and search for a word within the hidden column or row. As with the Go To command, Excel will select the hidden cell, which you can then unhide. You can also use menu commands to display the Find dialog box:
- Excel 2007 and later: Choose Find and Select on the Home tab, and then click Find.
- Excel 2003 and earlier: Choose Edit, and then Find.
- Excel 2007 or later: Click the Group icon in the Outline section of the Data ribbon.
- Excel 2003 and earlier: Choose Data, Group and Outline, and then Group.
As shown in Figure 3, Excel adds a button outside the worksheet frame that you can use to toggle the hidden or visible status of rows or columns. To remove grouping, select the group, and then issue the corresponding Ungroup command, which is adjacent to the Group commands described above.
- Excel 2007 and later: Choose Custom Views in the Workbook Views section of the View ribbon. Click Add, and then assign a name, such as All Columns. Make sure that Hidden Row, Columns, and Filter Settings is selected, and then click OK.
- Excel 2003 and earlier: Choose View, and then Custom Views. From there, the commands are the same as described in Excel 2007.
Next, hide rows and/or columns as desired, and then save a second custom view. You can now toggle between views as needed. Issue the Custom Views command, select a view from the list, and then click View.

subset: commoncrawl


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Also known as: Rose Polytechnic Institute
Location: Terre Haute, Indiana ▪ Colors: Old Rose & White
Record: 1 Year, 2-2, .500 W-L%
Conference: Ind
Conference Champion: 0 Times (Reg. Seas.), 0 Times (Tourn.)
Seasons where the school was classified as a major
school (i.e., Division I or equivalent).
Record does not reflect forfeits or vacated games.


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After circling each other for days, Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley and Texas Gov. Rick Perry clashed Wednesday in a nationally televised debate that was focused on state economic policy but tied closely to presidential politics.
The state leaders — both of whom are feeling out runs for president in 2016 — traded flurries of statistics and jabs as each used the 30-minute appearance on CNN's "Crossfire" to argue his vision for the nation's economy.
Debating one another for the first time since 2011, the governors shared a national spotlight hours after Perry arrived in Maryland to attack O'Malley's business policies — the latest trip in a years-long effort by the Republican to lure companies away from Democratic states.
Perry cast Maryland as a state that owes most of its success to its proximity to Washington, and argued that people and businesses are streaming to Texas for lower taxes and less regulation.
O'Malley countered that Texas is creating mostly minimum-wage jobs while shortchanging the middle class — a point pressed further by Stephanie Cutter, one of the show's moderators and a former campaign aide to President Barack Obama.
"It sounds to me like you'd rather have no job than a minimum-wage job," Perry said in a response to a question from Cutter. "You have to have these minimum-wage jobs to get people in the workforce."
For his part, O'Malley told the show's other moderator, former House Speaker and GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich, that he "absolutely" believes a minimum-wage job is better than nothing. But he said Maryland — largely because of its top-ranked schools — has done better giving people a shot at upward mobility.
"There's dignity in all work and every job's important," O'Malley said. "You not only have to be willing to cut your budget … you also have to be willing to make the smart investments."
O'Malley and Perry squared off amid open speculation about their ambitions.
Perry, who has served as Texas governor since George W. Bush left Austin for the White House 13 years ago, said recently he would not seek another term, but he left open the possibility of a second run at the White House.
He was briefly the front-runner for the GOP nomination in 2012 but dropped out after a series of lackluster debates.
O'Malley, who is term-limited, has said he is considering a run and has scheduled an extensive itinerary through key primary states this fall.
Hours before his appearance on Crossfire, O'Malley's aides announced that he would speak to Democrats in New Hampshire in November.
O'Malley and Perry each came prepared with a dizzying stream of statistics to counter the other's arguments.
At one point, the governors traded lists of high-profile companies that choose to do business in their state. O'Malley named Lockheed Martin, Under Armour and Marriott.
"We're recruiting them," Perry interrupted.
"Well, you're welcome to try," O'Malley responded.
But Perry's effort to woo Maryland businesses hit a few bumps Wednesday.
A Texas super PAC that opposed his 2012 presidential bid aired a radio ad in Maryland questioning his economic policies. And the governor was forced to defend his decision to tour a Prince George's County gun maker two days after a mass shooting at the Washington Navy Yard.
Jenifer Pauliukonis, Maryland head of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America, called Perry's visit to Accokeek-based Beretta USA "callous," given Monday's shooting at the historic military facility about 20 miles up the road.


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America's Next Top Model
What Is Modelland, Tyra Banks' Book?
On America's Next Top Model All-Stars, Cycle 17, Episode 12, "Tyson Beckford," the models were challenged to participate in a very strange motion editorial, where they acted out scenes from Tyra's new book, Modelland.
Those of you who haven't been following any and all Tyra news with bated breath may have missed the original announcement about the book, which is a Hunger Games-esque fantasy novel — the first in a trilogy, since Tyra never does anything by halves.
Here's the official summary from Amazon:
No one gets in without being asked...and with her untamable hair, large forehead, and gangly, awkward body, Tookie De La Creme isn't expecting an invitation. Modelland, the exclusive and fantastical school on top of a mountain, never even dares to make an appearance in her dreams.
But someone has plans for Tookie. Before she can blink her mismatched eyes, Tookie finds herself in the very place every girl in the world obsesses about... Only seven extraordinary young women become Intoxibellas each year. Famous. Worshipped. Magical. What happens to those who don't make it? Well, no one really speaks of that. Some things are better left unsaid.
Yeah, that's right. It's a novel about a fantastical modeling school on a mountain, where bad things happen to those who don't make it. Tyra's brain is a magical place.
You can buy this great work of literature from Amazon for just $11.98, or you can read an excerpt here.
Source: Amazon
Want more from Wetpaint Entertainment? For all the latest on ANTM, "like" us on our Facebook page at facebook.com/ANTMFansite, or follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/ANTMWetpaint.


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No one was injured in a three-vehicle collision that left one car on top of another Thursday at U.S. Highway 6 near Blaine Avenue.
Adams County Sheriff's deputy Heath Lemke said all three vehicles were westbound at the time of the collision. Traffic on the highway had been backed up due to a portion of the highway being reduced to one lane for road construction.
Lemke said that Josiah Powell of Kenesaw, who was driving a gray Mercury Cougar, was putting on a name tag for work when he came upon traffic stopped for the road construction.
Powell's vehicle rear ended a sedan driven by Nichole Bogenhagen of Hastings. The force of the impact pushed Bogenhagen's vehicle into a Ford Escape driven by Josie Jackson of Hastings.
The front end of the Powell's vehicle pushed its way partially underneath the sedan, which was forced into a 45-degree angle on top of Powell's vehicle. The sedan's rear tires came to rest just above the windshield.
Both vehicles were totaled and were towed from the scene. The Escape was driven away.
The Nebraska State Patrol helped provide traffic control and the Hastings Rural Fire Department cleaned fluids off the highway that leaked from the vehicles.
To read more, see Friday's Hastings Tribune or the Tribune e-edition.>>


text:
Blessing BFH-1541T Series Bb Flugelhorn BFH-1541RT Lacquer Rose Brass BellProduct #H75260 Blessing H75260 IFC Professional Flugelhorns https://www.esnapw.com/rses/ESnapServlet?MerchantNumberSent=63655
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- .460" bore
- 6" bell (available in one-piece red copper or two-piece brass)
- Hand-lapped Monel pistons
- Lacquer brass or silver plated finish available
- 3rd valve slide trigger
- New professional valve cluster
- 3FL mouthpiece


text:
Stanley, KS, USA < change city >
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text:
The following is an archive of a post made to our
'vox mailing list'
by one of its subscribers.
On Tue, Jan 28, 2003 at 10:39:07PM +0000, Karsten M. Self wrote:
> ...except, of course for the fact that Reply-To: is munged.
Hehe... For those here who are familiar with Godwin's law,
I'd like to propose Kendrick's law:
If you mention Reply-to munging on a mailing list, you've automatically
ended whatever discussion you were taking part in.
vox mailing list
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text:
College Baseball Daily continues our countdown to the start of the 2011 College Baseball season by checking in on the Top 100 Players in the country. We will be providing one player per day until we reach number 1.
We continue the countdown today at number 36 with Long Beach State RHP Andrew Gagnon. The Northridge, California, native attended Liberty High School in Brentwood where he earned four letters in baseball. Gagnon struggled as the Sunday starter for the Dirtbags as a Freshman in 2009, going just 3-7 on the season, though he showed moments of brilliance that signaled hope for the future. Continue reading Top 100 Countdown: 36. Andrew Gagnon (Long Beach State)


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Nine years ago, Jay and Nancy Guyther were supervising the construction of their custom-built townhouse in Fells Point while still living in Manhattan. Their initial idea for the 3,600-square-foot residence was to rent it out.
Circumstances, like construction plans, are often subject to change. When Jay Guyther was transferred from radio research media company Arbitron's New York office to its Columbia site, the couple sold their condo in the city and made plans to move into the Baltimore property themselves. They have been living there since 2001, comfortably "back home," since both grew up here.


text:
|Hampton Inn Miami Gardens properties are listed below. Search for cheap and discount Hampton Inn hotel rooms in Miami Gardens, FL for your upcoming meeting or individual travels. We list the best Hampton Inn Miami Gardens lodging so you can review the Miami Gardens Hampton Inn hotel list below to find the perfect place.
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Need 5+ Rooms? Get group bids from hotels in Miami Gardens FL
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text:
Live Burn Pre-Registration
Fill out the form below to get your name on the list for the October Live Burn at the Bridge Facility.
Fire & Rescue Classes:
Click for Class Schedules
Download Fire Forms
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Education to Go:
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Don't have time to take classes?? Let us come to you! Learn more about Ed2Go.
Defensive Driving:
For updated information on Defensive Driving classes at Mayland,
please visit our schedule page.
Live Burn Pre-Reg
Before you are allowed to participate in the LIVE BURN, you must have the NFPA 1403 Personnel Permission to Participate signed and returned by your Chief. Download the form HERE.


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« Back to: Gluten-Free Shopping
Gluten-free certification is a process designed to protect consumers with gluten-related disorders by confirming that a food, drink or supplement meets strict standards for gluten-free safety. It assures consumers that there is third-party oversight confirming the legitimacy of the manufacturer's gluten-free claims.
There are several certifying bodies that offer gluten-free certification, and each has its own criteria to ensure safety for consumers. Typically, the criteria includes testing the gluten content of the finished product. The current systems for gluten-free certification require gluten-free products to contain less than 20 parts per million (ppm) (NFCA/GFCP), less than 10 ppm (GFCO, QAI/NSF International) or less than 5 ppm of gluten (CSA Seal of Recognition).
It's important to note that the federal regulations for gluten-free labeling cover FDA-regulated foods only (this includes dietary supplements). Some gluten-free certifications, on the other hand, will allow for non-food products like lotions to be certified gluten-free. Again, this depends on the certifying body and its criteria.
In the grocery store, gluten-free certification makes it easier to identify safe and trusted products. Products that have been certified gluten-free will typically bear a symbol on the label, so customers with celiac disease and other gluten-related disorders can quickly and easily recognize the symbol and know that the product has earned approval.
The National Foundation for Celiac Awareness endorses the Gluten-Free Certification Program (GFCP), a certifying body created by the Canadian Celiac Association that NFCA now brings to the U.S. This alliance makes the GFCP the first North American program endorsed by leading celiac disease organizations in both the U.S. and Canada.
As the food industry becomes increasingly globalized, NFCA believes that international alliances such as this partnership with the GFCP will play a critical role in ensuring that our gluten-free food supply is safe and trusted.
The GFCP is a management system based certification. What this means is that the program does not rely solely on end-product testing to ensure safety, but examines the entire production process of the facility - from ingredient sourcing to employee training, cleaning practices, cross-contamination controls, operational management and, finally, an effective end-to-end testing plan.
The GFCP approves only those facilities and their products that continually meet strict, good manufacturing practices for gluten-free production. Certification audits are conducted annually by trained and approved, independent International Standard for Organization (ISO) accredited auditing companies. Products that earn certification bear NFCA's clear and easy-to-recognize certification trademark on their packaging.
By having a different entity involved in each major step of the certification process, the GFCP creates a system of checks and balances that eliminates any conflict of interest between the manufacturer's relationship with the program, its certifying bodies and/or the NFCA.
Learn more about the NFCA endorsed GFCP at www.gf-cert.org.
Other organizations that offer a brand label signifying that a gluten-free product has been tested, certified and/or approved include:
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text:
Two Queens Beat a Joker
While reading and laughing over video clips of Phyllis Diller one last time yesterday, I found myself being amazed with the woman I saw being reflected back to me, meaning yourself Roseanne.
You were not only a loving friend to Phyllis, an outlandishly funny comedian, but you were truly an endearing wise and definitely outspoken woman in your own right, who has done her homework well and is not afraid to speak the truths you have learned while managing to laugh at the worlds foolishness. Your one sweet power ball who has taken that knowledge and used it to conqueror and will continue to conquer by living on the pathway of true LOVE.
Thank you, Roseanne for sharing your loving tribute of the life once called Phyllis Diller, before she gave up residence with in her physical human form. Something tells me her memories will live on with in you, providing continued strength to stand out before the crowd and fight for what's right.
We know not the future but instead walk in the light of each moment. My moments spent with you and Phillis yesterday were blessed moments and I say, "Mahalo"! I wish you lived on Maui where I reside. I'd bring over a bottle of wine and hope to sit and listen to many more endearing stories of your friendship with Phillis as well as your fight to speak the TRUTH in a "Sheepish, Chem-trailed, Fluoridated, GMO, Radiated, HAARP, you name it, Pharmaceutical, Politically controlled World.WHEW!
Having said that, the good news is be prepared Rosanne, I believe I will not be the only soul Phillis will bring to you as your supportive friend along your trails. It's her gift to you.
Aloha, from another traveling QUEEN.
Glori Mae
I am a huge fan, I have been my whole life. Is there a place where my wife and I can send fan mail?
I'm sorry for the loss of your good friend, Phyllis Diller. I loved the interview you did with her, in her home, when she made you lunch and you guys just talked. Then to see her, tippin'em back with you in Hawaii, just too much. To have strong, talented roll models, is invaluable. I thank her, for decades of laughter and you for not only appreciating her and her talent, but in bringing her into your fold and to new fans. She will be missed, I hope you accept her passing, with love and the knowledge, she did have the last laugh. R.I.P. Phyllis, you will be missed! Sending a virtual hug to you Roseanne!
The Ninth US Parliament
8/6/2012 to 8/5/2016
Prime Minister: Miss Joy Waymire [Decline to State]
Secretary: James Ogle [Free Parliamentary]
Prime Minister: Roseanne Cheri Barr [Green Tea]
Secretary: Mosheh Thezion [All]
Prime Minister: Tiffany Briscoe [Green Tea-Rainbow]
President: Roseanne Cheri Barr [Green Tea]
Vice President: James Ogle [Free Parliamentary]
* * *
The 626 Elected Members of Parliament (MPs)
Roseannearchist Party – 128 MPs
Mark of Halloween, Lady Jane Green, Dashus Christ, Johnny Argent, Shannon Cox [RoseanneArchist], PJ, Tippy Canoe, Kelly Ann Pritchard, Joel West, Sheryl Carter, Vickie Chrisawn, fr33sp33ch, Ashley Hair, Jill Zarin Advices, Dawn Varga, Patricia Dillard, S Newton, Debs Keeler, Greenspaceguy, Michael Fishman, Jake Pentland, Holland Taylor, Jenny Pentland, Blogett Bird, Kell Bell, Sarah Jesss, Candis Frye, Dylan Brody, Suzanne Simnick, Peter Howard, Jonathan Jones, Darren Staley, Crobama, The Rooster, Adonica Williams, Jenni Spin, Christopher Gotti, Barry Boom, Josh Adams, Louis Peitzman, Nanette, Katie Anderson, Piper Page, Berent Lawton, Karen Misses, Jesse Smith, Acmeoslib, LEGION TROLL, Kelly Carlin, Adam Cavalli, Angela Field, Dr. Detonator, Saif Quadri, Barrels Of Oranges, Jonathan D. Lovitz, Private Green, Gabe Alfassy, Sevenlayercake, Di, Jay Kelly, Jason M. Phelan, , Shannon Flynn, Brandon Michael, Mary Rewis, Kiwi Jae, TERRY, Laura Cavallier, Martha Plimpton, Fifi LeRuef, Bonnie Tierney, Laurie Irvin, FusionRocks, Elizabeth Brossa, John Price, Brian Harrell, Anne Beckett, Justin G, Robin Armstrong, Bradley Moreland, Lisa Sahani, R. Newell DeWitt, Scott Draper, Mahatma Kane Jeeves, Mike Frizz, Sweetred Archer, Magdalena Zurawski, Star Star, Big Joe Hawley, Prop 215 Patient, Jeff Ostach, Devyn Johnson, Patrick Driscoll, Beth, Tim Tapp, Big John, Horace Boothroyd III, Diane Hines, Regina, Savanna Knight, Tami Craig Davis, Dawn, Julie Orton, Susan, Michael King, Gregory Green, William Howard, Hugo Arenas, Charlie Bertini, M. Vaughn, Prince Joseph, Deeanna, Rebekah, Drug Sniffing Cat, Kevin Demarest, Patricia Harvey, Julia A. DiCamillo, Katherine Farah, Somali Rose, Parker Car [Roseanne], Peter Calweeko [Roseanne Barr for President], Sandy Montauk [Roseanne and Johnny], Hugo York the man [Roseanne], Jasper Yentil, Michael Gornes, Carla Vox, War on War, Ethan Moore [Roseanne]
Info. Not Avail. – 74 MPs
Link K. Scwartz, Sandra Bernard, JZ Knight, Greg Cipes, Annie Leonard, Diane Wilson, Grace Lee Boggs, Vicky Holte Takamine, Helen Caldicott, Colleen Camp Goldwyn, Harriet Bookstein, Ambra, Kidkasten, Theresa Vaughn, Clint Eastwood, Woody Harrelson [Info. Not Avail.], Todd Andrew Barnett, George Lopez, Renee Farnsworth, Kristina Kearns, Joan Pollycutt, Diane Rosellini, Cindy Ryno, Dennis Nelson, Greg Jacobs, Shawn Bradley, Sherry Golden, Vic Havelaar, Todd Andrew Barnett, Tony Ouimet, Ed Begley, Jr., Voter Regime, Gordon Hermosa, Kelly Tome, Victor Connor, "Poncho" Jorge Santos, Wendell Orgam, Don Pitts, Christopher Nicks, Kumar, Davis Guggenheim, BachmanTurnerOverdrive, Norm Einer, Sandra Contri, Amenz Portaniw, Deanne Vorow, Lawrence Gomen, Lisa Murkowski, Jim Shew, Jett Jackson, John Comana, Firenz Lorganzi, Pierre Crevaux, Virginia Edwards, April Levine, Nina Blackburn, Chuck Pollycutt, Vince Rosellini, Gary Ryno, Jacki Silva, Mike Silva, Sandhya Scott, Martha Havelaar, Chuck Scott, Carole Scott, Lidia Seebeck, Mike Seebeck, Demetrius Perry, Lily Montgomery, Walter Nayakik, Robert Sislo, Martin Covax, Charlie Sheen, John Goodman, William Waugh
Democratic Party – 65 MPs
Jane Gambill, Harry Kocks [Democrat], Dennis Kucinich, Al Gore, Barbara Boxer, April Flint, Lynnice Wedewer, Jong-pil Park, Debra Scharf, Arlene Lewis, Sara Fleetwood, Elaine Hudson, Charlotte Cocker, Rick Dale, Governor Pat Quinn, Gene Zbornak [Democrat Sent by Joshua Paul Show], Sandra Dundsmoore, Edger Thompson, Robin Quivers [Democrat], Tipper Gore, Ed Cunningham [Dem.], Yolanda Amandoza, Gloria Loring [Democrat], Francis Compy [Democrat], Jack Meoffer [Democrat], Karia Jumar [Democrat], Robert Einert [Democrat], Tori Xander [Democrat], Erik Konan, Lauren Aldert [Democrat], Jennifer Gale [Democrat], Montel Sharba [Democrat], Rachel Zollers [Democrat], Gale Wievert [Democrat], Kevin Drafre [Democrat], Rachel Smith [Democrat], Jessica Brabender [Democrat], Shelly Jones [Democrat], Gary Sedorholm [Democrat], Marta Cox [Democrat], Cheryl Meader [Democrat], Beatrice Shine [Democrat], Peter Longfellow [Democrat], Paula Freeman [Blagojevich Democrat] David Olkkola, PRAVDA McCroskey, Victor Cantu, John Smith [Registered Democrat], Patti Blagojevich, Gov Rod Blagojevich, Blago Team, Mary Burgess, Jerry Brown, Harry Swan, Miter Binizdirty [Democrat], Marco Polo aka Jimmy Kens [Democrat], Ben Zimmern [Democrat], John Shine [Democrat], John Edwards, Tom Maris [Democratic], Harry Smell [Demigod], Haywood L. Hotst [Democrat], Faye Houston [Democrat], Mary Zimmerman, Barack Obama
Green Tea Party – 55 MPs
Roseanne Barr, Carey Campbell [Green], Tiffany Briscoe [Green Tea-Rainbow], Rhett Smith [Green], Anita Stewart [Green], Tina Fay [Green], Charles Bruce Stewart [Green Libertarian], Gina Zenzola [Green], Kevin Clark [Green/Libertarian], Cynthia McKinney [Green], Rich Stevenson [Green], John Liquori, Celisa Godwin [Green], Seth Wetmore [Green Chaos], Thomas Leavitt [Green], Gary Swing [Green], Roger Mead, Christopher Michael Ward [Green Roseannearchist], Hal Ginsberg [Green], Larry Sckwarczynski [Green], Lisa Clampitt, Tasvir Singh Bhardwaj [Green], David Gwaltney, Winona Laduke [Green], Medea Benjamin [Green], Mike Nelson [Green], Susan Estes [Green], David Cobb [Green], Tad Robinson [Green], Michael Grazian [Green], Brett Johnsen [Green], Dinah Coffman [Green], John Carter [Green], Elizabeth, Paul Brown [Green], Linsey Tenlap [Green], Morgan Juma [Green], Boone Timutua [Green], Laurie Dean-Arms [Green], Georgeena Abad [Green], Mike Rogers [Green], Jill Stein [Green Rainbow], Farheen Hakeem [Green], Kat Swift [Green], Laura Wells [Green], Don Cook [Green], Marnie Glickman [Green], Virgil Hales [Green-Pot-Christ], Deb Shafto [Green], Nicole Briscoe [Green Tea-Rainbow], Barry Briscoe [Green Tea-Rainbow], Janet Murphy [Green], Gail the Rail Parker [Green], Michael R. Bloomberg [Green], Colia Clark [Green]
Parties with One Seat – 52 MPs
Mosheh Thezion [All], David L Wetzell [LT Party Movement], Tina Drugg [Goddess], Herb [aqua tangerine], Lisa Davis [Bong], Sonar Gupta [Indian Democracy], Vanessa Morley [Defender of the Republic], Anilise Stewart [I Follow Who I Believe In], Nathan Johnson [American Independent], Michale Treeplanter [Co-Operative], Noam Chomsky [New], Bobert Nagan [Wiccan Free Liberal], Michael Looney [Houseless], Eric Charles [Orwellian], Ben Jakupi [Blue Collar], Lyndall Kristie [Bush Regime], Mark Key [Encyclopedia], Displaced Jersey Boy [Longhorns Rule], Larry Duggett [Morman Takeover], Consuela Mendola [My Own], Michael Kostopoulas [Photogenic], Thomas Lui [Pre-Democratic], Tom Bartlett [Rich], Chaz Bono [Transgender Rights], Marcia Bradley [Undecided], John Coffey [Unity08], Coco Schitz [USA], Orion Karl Daley [Balanced], Vigo Veritas [Mockery], Stinky McStinkbutt [Derision], Eric Stevenson [Pizza], Jake Rabinowitz [None], Fred Donald Dickson [Unaffiliated], Ralph Hoffmann [Bi-Polar Advantage], Savva Vassiliev [Progressive Libertarian], Mike Banon [Skateboard], Martese Conchun [Border Warrior], Pat Buchanan [Reform], Michael Davis [Natural Law], Asko Emerson [Literary], Robby Wells [Patriot Nation], Rocky Anderson [Justice], Asa Gordon [DC Statehood], Steve Lopes [Not Available], Jane Violet [No Affilation], Allen McKinney [Woodstock], Maria Sharapove [Tennis], Robert Caro [LBJ Book], Willie Nelson [Teapot], Nominating Rick Perry [No More Obama], Jeannette O'Neal [Non-partisan], Richard Hines [Undefined]
Libertarian Party – 47 MPs
Ralph Beach, Scott Keller, Jim Fulner, Gail Lightfoot, Starchild, Lawrence Samuels [Purple Libertarian], Jim Burns, Gary Nolan, Cory Nott, Kristi Stone , TJ Campbell [Libertarian-Republican], Alvin Chin, Tony Jones, Jerry "Jed" Siple, Gabe Huerta, Gregory Koch, Jesse Haffran [Libertarian Socialist], Gabriella Douglas, Ned Roscoe, Richard Winger, Beth Ostrosky, Fred Norris, Richard A. Weir [Libertarian Socialist], Mark Hinkle, William J. Wagoner, Dwight Bailey, Aarde Atheian, Alex Plewniak, Howard Stern, Bob Barr, Joe Paul Manship, Debra Dedmon, Chuck Seevers, Anne Kissel, Jane Heider, Al Segalla, Alex Jones, Fred Fritz, Doug Tuma, Aaron Starr, Carl Person, Gary Johnson, Sam Sloan, Jim Gray, Jill Pyeatt, Alan Pyeatt, Christopher Edes
Republican Party – 43 MPs
Ron Paul, Jim Doyle, Lani Guinier, Dennis Peron, SmartCorp Wealth Consultants, LLC, Michele Marie Bachmann, Larry Fenton, Bubba The Love Sponge, Colin Powell, John McCain, Arnold Swarzenegger, Rush Limbaugh, Rick Santorum, Beaulah Mae Jackson, Dutch Bart [Mitt Romney Republican], Dave Hester, Blanca Sounders, Kylee Porter, Mitt Romney, Patricia Cornwall, Michael Dell, Harry Twatz, Lou Zir, Rusty Trombone, Huge G. Klitt, Linda Labia, Wetsy Shortz, Icey Deadpeople, Iam Cummin, Dixie Normus, Sonja Franzea, Roberta Marrone, Don Blackstone, Toni Allen, Brenda Wickens, Dick Little, Elizabeth Warren, Mark Meuser, Gordon Humphry, Mary Stark, Steve Forbes, Sarah Palin, Tina Rodney
Communist Party – 43 MPs
Joshua-Paul Angell, Katie Hunesta, Mykai Landis, Lucas Thoms, Marsha Williams, Chelsea Tatum, Violet Jergensen, Raymond Yeager, Dan Qualch, Debbie Porter [Commie], Horton Fortencia [Communism], Mark Frey, Candy Sue Bellins, Cynthia Zolper, Barry Weiss, Oleda Jimenez, Pedro Chinnez, Jane Gambill, Edwardo Garcia, Krissy Woods, Alma Juarez, Yettie Gontersen, Cole Gintak, Bill Jacobs, Frank Styne, Bobby Burdick, Yetti Man, Li Huong, Ticko Sommguez, Frank Richter, Lisa Porepii, Rhonda Wendel, Mariela Montakes, Nina Lindsay, Herman Oiut, Adam Inhoff, Chris Garben, Rachel Barkindosa, Christina Pallazolo, Andy Martinez, Mat Reland, JT Murray, Jesus Alba
Independents- 38 MPs
Miss Joy Waymire [Decline to State], Victoria Peterson, Dan the Handyman [Decline to State], David Frey, Loris Scagliarini, Arianna Huffington, Rob Elliott, Dale Gieringer, John Anderson, Kat Penisten, Michael Moore, Casper Leitch, Ralph Nader, Andy Gonzalez, Partick K. Martin, Dea Riley, Debra Paulsen, Danny (Dan) Woodring, Eric Weinrib, Mike Levinson [Independent/Republican], Tina Cook, Charles Brannan, Todd Palin, Casey Peters, Josh D. Ondich [Independent-Democrat], Nathan Wolfe, Jen Foster, Joan Briscoe, Joe Briscoe, Lisa, Tony Briscoe, Kimberly Richardson, Dorothy Henderson, Joey Montez, Steven, Shamal, Sugar Ray Leonard, Dwayne Renal Sims
Socialist Party – 10 MPs
Kara Lambert, Tanya Green, Becky Donner, Jenny Platak, Joshua Steinman, Mike Cobb, Michael Hornzela, Justin Kuemerle, Justin Kahm, Lisa Pelletier
Pot Party – 9 MPs
Brandon Garcia, Nate Brown, Myra Fourwinds, Sister Somayah [Pot/Nigritian Kief], Robert S., Randy Jork, Bo Kakke, Jorge Seester, Scott Comings
Free Party – 8 MPs
Cheryl Martin-Buescher [Free Thinker], Wanda Hermanden [Free Spirit], Hermosi Kandanzai [Free Radical], Connie Mendosa, Roscoe Waden [Free to Be], Heather Kenny [Freegan], Wayne Christopher [Free and Equal], Babbette Hogan [Free and Equal]
Vote for Josh Party – 7 MPs
Jermaine Nommick, Baruth Radimoro [Vote for Joshua Paul], Rose Weinstock [In Solidarity of Our Representative Joshua Angell], Natalie Hugger [Joshua Paul], Yari Nanuku [Joshua Paul], Kim Thomas [My vote is for Joshua Paul in TX Thanks!], Uma Yartan [Angell]
Free Parliamentary – 6 MPs
James Ogle, Zachary Scott Gordon, Rene Jean, Frank Camdenosa [Free Parliament], Laura Booth, Marcellius Smith [Parliament]
Anarchy Party – 4 MPs
Stephen Long, Angela Keaton [Ordinary Anarchist], Paul Wetterau [Anarchist], Lolo Rose [Artarchist]
Marijuana Party – 4 MPs
Kelly Russell, Goncho Alvarez, Sabrina Melicia, J. Roach
Peace and Freedom Party – 4 MPs
Jan Tucker, Stewart Alexander, Maureen Smith, Cindy Sheehan
Boston Tea Party – 3 MPs
Joeseph Wendt, Jim Duesnsing, Larry Targett
Comedy Central Party – 3 MPs
Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Jim Spahr
Constitution Party – 3 MPs
Don J. Grundmann, Michael Peroutka, J.R. Myers
Frat Party – 3 MPs
Nick Dartern, Topher Conway, Benzo Diazepene
Mexico Party – 3 MPs
Amendalia Horveo, Victor Huego [Mexico Free], Jesus Primitivo [Mexican Communist]
Citizens Party – 2 MPs
Daniel Penisten [Citizens], KeyantwonS
Catholic Trotskyist Party – 2 MPs
Jacob Covich, Daniel David Gentry
Discordian Party – 2 MPs
P. Steele, Kalera Stratton
Environmentalist Party – 2 MPs
Mike Bogatirev, Chuck Pasch
Jewish Conservative – 2 MPs
Frejeda Sokol, Morly Canton
Radical Revolutionary Party – 2 MPs
Annie Garner, Jennifer Perkins
Tranny Party – 2 MPs
Gina Mann, Juwanna Orgasm
* * *
First Vote Count on 8/6/2012
Chris, check out a few of the numbers resulting in the 9th USA Parliament Election of 2012:
MP Dan Woodring [Independent], 5 tics (sum 631)
MP Richard Winger [Libertarian], 5 tics (sum 654)
MP Eric Weinrib [Independent], 5 tics (sum 769)
MP Shannon Cox [RoseAnnarchist], 4 tics (sum 1084)
MP Mike Levinson [Independent/Republican], 3 tics (sum 287)
MP Carl Person [Libertarian], 2 tics (sum 2)
MP Cindy Sheehan [Peace & Freedom], 1 tic (sum 592)
MP Colia Clark [Green], 1 tic (sum 593)
MP Christopher Edes [Libertarian], 1 tic (sum 599)
MP Justin Kahm [Socialist], 1 tics (sum 174)
MP Joseph Wendt [Boston Tea], 1 tic (sum 454)
MP Jim Duesnsing [Boston Tea], 1 tic (sum 455)
MP Larry Targett [Boston Tea], 1 tic (sum 491)
MP Roseanne Barr [Green Tea], 11 tics
MP James Ogle [Free Parliamentary], 10 tics
MP Ralph Beach [Libertarian], 9 tics
MP Miss Joy Waymire [Decline to State], 7 tics
MP Ron Paul [Republican], 7 tics
MP Scott Keller [Libertarian], 7 tics
MP Jim Burns [Libertarian], 6 tics
MP Tiffany Briscoe [Green Tea Rainbow], 6 tics
MP Jim Fulner [Libertarian], 6 tics
MP Jane Gambill [Democratic], 6 tics
MP Mosheh Thezion [All], 5 tics
MP Mark of Halloween [Roseannearchist], 5 tics
MP Joshua Paul Angell [Communist], 4 tics
MP SmartCorp Wealth Consultants, LLC (Vincent Galindo) [Republican], 4 tics
Roseanne –
Sorry to hear about Phyllis passing away. I know she was a friend.
Thanks for having her on your show. It was great ot see her.


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Daypass Adventurer
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Oddometer: 2,144
the charge for the hip pads is $49 at the time of manufacture. wayne offered to do it for the same price and added the scotchlite on the pants, too, at no charge. plus, he turned it around in three hours despite saying it was a very busy day and sent it right back out.
hope this helps.
Fatty Fat
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: South Caccalacca
Oddometer: 595
This thread has been a huge help, and as of last night, I'm in the queue for a set of mesh kevlar pants and jacket for my wife and I. I was wondering if anyone has any good pics of the mesh stuff (completed jacket/pants) and any suggestions/caveats for them? We're planning an RTW ride in 2007 so there will be lots of slow/dirt riding and mesh seemed like the way to go versus stretch.
Also I was wondering if any of the pockets are waterproof, or if that is an option of some sort.
We're going to measure up tonight and send in tomorrow, so hopefully we'll be able to use our new gear for most of the season!
Daypass Adventurer
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Oddometer: 2,144
None of the pockets on mine are waterproof but there is one on the inner rain jacket.
Studly Adventurer
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: at a desk
Oddometer: 588
Coincidently, I just got my kevlar (stretch) pants from Wayne today. Really nice, fit is perfect.
Even though I live in the SW, I opted for the stretch pants over the mesh for 2 reasons. First, I don't feel the heat has that much effect on my core temp and second, the stretch kevlar seemed more comfortable. That mesh seems to be some pretty coarse stuff to have as pants.
A mesh jacket sounds perfect for my needs and I'll probably end up buying one in the future.
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Fatty Fat
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: South Caccalacca
Oddometer: 595
Beastly Adventurer
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Tampa
Oddometer: 11,251
Just FYI I found that putting a windproof rain jacket/pants over my streach kevlar motoport suite actually is quite warm. Its a little more hassle than wearing a more normal winter jacket in cold weather (which is what I usually do) but on long trips where there will big temp swings I always chose the kevlar suite and pack a rain suite for wet or cold conditions. If its going to be really cold I'll bring my electric vest too, which combined with the windproof stuff over the kevlar suite is plenty to keep me comfortable in extended sub-freezing temps.
For the record I have the streach kevlar GPII suit and an Ultra (cordura) Jacket. The armor is the only thing about them I'm not crazy about. Its just kind of bulky and generic. Seems as though it was all cut from a big flat plate of armor rather than specifically molded for each location. Its especially noticeable in the elbows where the armor isn't pre-cureved at all. Kind of like riding with stiff cardboard in your kit.
The material is awsome, breaths quite well, comfortable and seems very sturdy (have not crash tested it yet).
I would like to add a mesh kevlar Ultra II suit to my closet as the GPII pants are a bit of a hassle to put on and off for every day commuting.
BikePilot screwed with this post 03-31-2006 at 06:37 AM
Slab Sucks!
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Santa Margarita, Ca.
Oddometer: 356
Off the fence...
Many thanks to Gringo and all others who have posted to this thread. I was completely unaware of Motoport apparel until about 1 month ago. I have been wanting to replace a pair of Firstgear HT Overpants that have become too small (mid-life spread) and have always been too short and bulky. I've done some exhaustive research trying to find a reason NOT to buy Motoport. Here's what I've found:
The biggest complaint I've heard is isolated poor customer service which I mostly attribute to overly demanding consumers (no offense intended) and a "one man" operation at Motoport. I myself am a very conscienscious consumer and the ~$900 I'll be spending on this suit does not come easily to me. I understand the dynamics of operating a small business and having limited staff. In my opinion, being able to talk to Wayne himself nearly every time I call, or having him promptly return my calls make up for the lengthy production time or frustration of dealing with someone who can't answer my questions or gives me bad information. My first conversation with Wayne was on a Friday ten minutes after his closing time when I recieved his return message. He said in his message that he would be at work a little late and he answered the phone himself when I called. Although Wayne had to make a delivery that evening, he spent more than 20 minutes talking with me and answering my questions. Try and get that level of service from a larger manufacturer!
All other complaints I've heard on the Motport apparel have been rather scarce. They were regarding price, the internal liner catching velcro easily, a weak jacket coat hook and the apparent inconvenience of internal rather than external liners.
We all know price is a personal decision and based on one's financial situation and desired level of protection. If it's worth it to you, you'll pay for it.
If the internal liner catching velcro is a problem I feel I can deal with it. I am notoriously easy on nearly everything I own (except tires and the throttle!).
Wayne told me he uses a pretty durable material for the coat hook (I don't recall what he said it was) and has received very few complaints about it. Wayne said he uses his coat hook all the time and has had no problems with his.
The claimed overlapping temperature ranges between having the Aero Tex liners in and out answered any concerns I had about internal liners. First off the liners breathe so it's not like I'll be wearing a plastic bag. I talked with Wayne in detail about going with the stretch or mesh Kevlar. My riding temps. will range from 20 deg. F to 115 deg. F and all weather conditions except snow or ice. I decided to go with the mesh (central Ca. weather) and should be comfortable with the liners out from 120 deg. F down to ~55 deg. F. With liners in, Wayne said I should be comfortable from 70 deg. F down to at least 20 deg. F with as little as jeans on underneath. Where I mostly ride, the temperatures don't usually fluctuate more than 20 degrees when the highs are 70 or below.
In the end, it was the quality of production, custom sizing, durability, warranty (7 years!), ability to be repaired and year-round wearability that made my decision. I'm going with the Air Mesh Kevlar pant in black with hip armor and the Aero Tex liner. I'm also getting the Ultra II Air Mesh Kevlar jacket in black and blue also with the Aero Tex liner. I decided I should be able to wear thermals and a single layer of polar fleece under the liners to keep warm most of the time. If that's insufficient I could get some heated gear, but for the limited cold weather riding I do here in Ca. I don't think that will be necessary.
One other thing I learned while searching for information is that Wayne will give a discount to MSF instructors. Some older reviews claimed as much as 20% to 30% off. I sent Wayne a copy of my instructor card and happily accepted the 15% discount he extended to me. I didn't press the issue with Wayne, especially since I think the gear is worth the regular price. If there is any truth to the previous discount amounts I would chalk up the difference to Wayne's gear gaining popularity.
Again, if anyone has any recommendations on how I might want to customize this suit, please let me know. One week down, 11 to go!
1997 Yamaha YZF1000
Beastly Adventurer
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Tampa
Oddometer: 11,251
Congrats, I'm sure you'll like it.
I would have the liner or a waterproof over-jacket (my perference) with you on those 55°F mornings. Frankly, I'd freeze wearing mesh in 55° F weather, but then I don't really have any wind protection either.
In 20°F weather you'll want an extra layer or two under the jacket, but will be fine. An electric vest is nice, but not necessary ( I commuted year round for several years in NoVA without one and survived. This past winter was my first with one and I must admit I'm adicted:)).
Slab Sucks!
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Santa Margarita, Ca.
Oddometer: 356
It probably doesn't compare to riding with the Kevlar gear but my reference point is that I can do short rides (less than 1 hour) wearing just jeans in temps. down to 50 deg. F as long as I'm wearing a warm jacket (liner in) and warm gloves.
I'm not real informed on the bulk or cost of thermal underclothes that would keep me warm under the Aero Tex liners down to 20 deg. F. I'm hoping that a medium-weight (Polartec 200?), snug-fitting lycra/poly layer capable of wicking away moisture would work so I can keep the uninsulated fit of the gear as close to ideal as possible.
Not to change the subject, but does anyone have any suggestions?
Don't buy from Brad
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Remember the Alamo!
Oddometer: 7,409
suggestions which i've placed with my order for pants:
1) no logo on the front flap. I'm a plain jane type of guy.
2) Wayne said the elastic-like (??) waist band will go up and down several inches. I asked him to make mine +1 to +2 inches since, having a 31" waist, isn't likely to get smaller, but eventually will probly get bigger
For the jacket, which I plan to buy maybe next year after I wear out my revit air-flow...:
1) full, closable, cross-strapping high neck. That's right... turtleneck style. Just how i like it.
2) small forearm pocket like Gringo referenced from the "stich"
3) Tightening straps on the upper and lower arms to take out slack. If you haven't seen them, check out the revit airflow jacket's version of this. I don't know if cycleport has such a thing, but it's basically a flap that attached to 2 different snaps. You can loosen and tighten depending on underclothing so that your sleeves aren't flapping in the breeze.
4) if you want more visibility stripes...
One more suggestion on the mesh vs stretch debate.
I live in Florida. For 7-9 months, it's the surface of the freakin sun hot outside. I grew up in Kansas. Get's really cold in the winter.
You can ALWAYS put more clothes on. You can't always take em off.
I expressed my concerns about heat and cold to Wayne and he said with nothing but a pair of jeans and the un-insulated liner, you can easily ride in weather down to the 20's.
Wayne sent me a small envelope of sample fabrics. The mesh certainly seems stronger. Just is a thicker weave. I was worried about comfort, but really, the inside sleeve-like liner will be what you feel and it's the same in both types. He also sent a small document showing the strength and tear resistance ratings of mesh and stretch vs leather, cordura, etc.
I'll try to dig it up this weekend and scan it and put it on here.
If I can find the small pieces of fabric, I"ll post here and if anyone wants them, I'll send them in the mail. Kindof a pass-it-on type of thing.
Slab Sucks!
Joined: Jun 2005
Location: Santa Margarita, Ca.
Oddometer: 356
Thanks for the recommendations. I will consider all and probably request many that you suggested. I especially like the sleeve (and possibly leg?) tensioners you mentioned. That would make it easier to fit larger layers underneath in colder weather but still allow a close fit when it's warm. I was also considering subdued (black) retro-reflective stripes instead of the white (if available).
I've asked Wayne for some high-resolution pics of his standard color schemes. If I get them, I'll be sure to post to this thread so others can see. I think there are some, myself included, that would still like to see a few more detailed pics of this gear.
Don't buy from Brad
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Remember the Alamo!
Oddometer: 7,409
Actually, early in this thread, Gringo (i think) posted some good up close pics of the material.
Wayne said theres some kind of tightening strap on the legs of the pants that comes standard when I asked him, but there's still the jacket which I didn't ask about.
Old Guy nOOb
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Santa Barbara
Oddometer: 3,107
The tightening strap on the legs is to adjust the fit around your boots. With the stretch Kevlar I don't think the adjustment straps are necessary. The material does not have any tendency to flap. My Joe Rocket Alter Ego Jacket had those sorts of adjustments, but I don't miss them on the Motoport gear.
It isn't the conditions its the decisions
Don't bring a motorcycle to a car fight
Daypass Adventurer
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Oddometer: 2,144
I'm considering having Wayne add some straps to the elbow area to take up the slack when I'm not wearing a lot of layers. I'm not so concerned about the flapping as I am about the armor rotating out of place in a get-off.
Wayne believe that that armor will conform to your body and it may not be necessary so I'm going to wait and see. The BMW Santiago jacket I own has straps around the elbow area which gives me good piece of mind.
Fatty Fat
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: South Caccalacca
Oddometer: 595
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We want to pre pay our bill, so it doesn't get overdue, can we??
CHAMP0You can put additional funds.
Lets say your bill is 50$ you can pay more than that & the remainder will be put towards your next bill.
The koodo self serve thingy online only lets you overpay by 20%. It says it right there. But if you pay your bill at the bank I don't see any reason why you couldn't pay as much more as you want.
As long as it's not a credit card payment. Online banking or bank tellers you can pay as much as you want which would get applied as a credit towards your next bill. I always overpay my bill by a few cents because an overpayment is an overpayment! Good for credit rating! :)
If you really want to pre-pay your bill, the simplest way is set up automatic bill payments through online banking, assuming you use online banking. If your bill date is the 7th of each month, you can set your payment up for the 1st and never have to worry about your bill assuming you don't have other charges added to it.
The other option, not being pre-paid but just as good, is with Koodo self serve. You can set up pre-authorized payments so that when your bill is due, Koodo pays the bill from either the credit card or bank account that you provided them.
Both solutions ensure your bill is paid on time. Hope this helps


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Why Do People Go on Reality Shows?
Why do people go on reality shows? Sure, there's a slight chance of fame and fortune, but the fame generally boils down to, "Hey, it's that guy from TV who cried when Simon Cowell yelled at him," and the fortune is generally less than, say, a dentist makes. Plus you'll probably have to do something unspeakably gross, like eat live bugs or hang out with The Situation.
So, again, why do people do it? At Wetpaint Entertainment, we've made an exhaustive study of the reasons reality contestants embark on a reality career. (Actually, we make an exhaustive study of everything about reality shows. It's kind of our deal.) Here are a few of our faves.
To make friends. This is the least popular reason. No one goes on a reality show to make friends. Just ask them. They'll tell you.
To earn money for their families. Every reality competition seems to have one of these: A contestant with a passel of adorable babies, nobly trying to earn money for their future. Which, oh, honey. No. Even if you do win (which you won't), your kids' classmates at their fancy new private school will never accept them once they realize that their mom earned their tuition by losing 200 pounds on live TV. Just go back to school and get that dental degree.
To find love. Say you've been hurt in the past and you're dying to find The One. Where do you and your bruised, delicate heart turn? How about a national television show that will pit you against two dozen other wenches for the heart of some knucklehead who will inevitably pick the skinniest, blondest one? This kind of decision-making might have something to do with why you're still single.
To advance their (other) career. We don't know if we respect these folks more or less. Whether they admit it or not, lots of reality contestants on shows like The Bachelor aren't really in it to find "twoo wuv" – they think it's going to launch their acting or singing or whatever career. On the one hand, it's smart to look beyond a reality show career. On the other hand, this makes contestants come off as the biggest jerks of all – remember Justin "Rated-R" Rego from The Bachelorette? He was allegedly promoting his wrestling career, and what happened? People hate him more than Hitler. Okay, that's a stretch. But still, they DO NOT LIKE HIM. Also, this "My stint on reality TV will help my acting career" thing never works. When was the last time you saw Brad Pitt co-starring with Vinny Guadagnino?
Delusional thinking. Yes, the American Idol auditions always produce some hilarious weirdos. But our enjoyment of the William Hungs of the world is tempered by the suspicion that many of them are actually delusional. We prefer laughing at weirdos who know they are weirdos — and don't give a damn!
To set the record straight. Why do already-famous people (though most are only semi-famous, or formerly famous) go on reality shows? Because the world is so unfair! They've been unfairly painted as shallow jerks by the press, or their famous frenemies, or other reality shows. What's the best way to educate the world about what sensitive, intelligent souls they really are? Another reality show!
Because they were born to do it. Sure, there are plenty of bad reasons to go on reality shows, but we can't deny that there are plenty of reality stars who are right where they ought to be. Can you imagine what might have become of Snooki in a world without reality shows? Wandering a cold, uncaring Jersey Shore, doing backflips in exchange for spray tans and crotch-skimming lycra dresses? Thank God, Snooks will never face such a fate.
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Deputies make arrest in case of stolen lottery tickets
Vance County deputies arrested a Henderson man on six theft-related felony charges, confirming the case is linked to recent smash-and-grab incidents targeting lottery tickets.
Clarence Seward Jr., 41, was one of several who made attempts to cash stolen lottery tickets at Henderson area stores this week, according to a statement from Sheriff Peter White. More charges against Seward and others are possible.
According to White, Seward broke in at the On the Mark BP convenience store on Bearpond Road March 17 and at the North Garnett Street Rose Mart on Saturday.
For each incident, Seward stands charged with counts of breaking and entering, larceny and having stolen goods, totaling six felonies, plus two misdemeanor vandalism counts and an outstanding warrant charging failure to appear in court.
According to arrest records, investigators accompanied Seward through a magistrate judge's hearing. With bond set at $61,300, they placed Seward in Vance County Jail pending a District Court hearing scheduled for April 29.
White's statement indicated evidence was found and seized at Seward's residence connecting him to the recent break-ins in Vance County. Money and lottery tickets were recovered.
Contact the writer at email@example.com.


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< Entertain me | Main | Favorite Video Games of My Childhood: II >
October 17, 2006
Favorite Video Games of My Childhood: I
River Raid
Do you remember how awesome this was? I loved this game.
Posted by snackeru at October 17, 2006 7:59 PM
My neighbor had River Raid! Atari... 5200? Hella good.
When my brother and I got a NES shortly after, I was disappointed they didn't have a version of River Raid.
Posted by: spycake at October 29, 2006 12:13 PM