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Apologies for posting this a bit late today (I usually try to post long before 5), but I've been...busy. You see, I found the Cheese Doodle (which thankfully has Wi-Fi), and...other things.
"Like me?" Yep. Like you.
That's my girlfriend. Because past me apparently had one. But, of course, I don't remember because...plot, I guess. Anyway, I found the Cheese Doodle, entered the ship, and was tackled by a flying blur of black. When I got up, I saw it was a girl. And not just any girl, but, well, a cat girl. You know, like those anime ones with the cat ears and stuff? Unlike those ones, she was dressed in a black hoodie, with black pants, boots, fingerless gloves, and a mask that's reminiscent of the Black Cat. And her name is Indometus (Indo for short).
"Can I continue the story?" Sure, why not. You probably no more than I do, anyway. "Well, I was told by some guy calling himself "Doomsayer" that Dorkuss (my nickname for him) might not remember me. So, I wanted to do something memorable. I figured a tackle would be memorable. And then we did...other memorable things, after I filled him in of course." Those 'memorable things' are why I'm posting so late. But, enough about the story arc, it's time for what you all love about these posts: the Riffing!
So this Riff is called "Nina the Killer (Rewritten/Remake)", and is a perfect example of how to follow the "Jeff Formula" and be completely unoriginal. Now, the original version (as far as I know) was much stupider than the version I'm going to be making fun of. That being said, this version is still very stupid.
Excerpt from local newspaper: FAMILY BUTCHER STILL UNABLE TO BE FOUND "In other news, the family barber has been arrested."
Several weeks after the cold blooded murder of the Hopkins family, minimal evidence has been found that links the killings of Amanda and Ronan Hopkins, both aged thirty-nine. Links the murders to what? Very few people have suggested possible suspicions of who they think was responsible to these grisly murders; the most suggested being the couple's twelve-year-old daughter Nina. "Police don't think she's one, because they haven't read the title of the story."
Police are still continuing the search for the one responsible for these murders. If you have any suspicions on whom the killer might be, please contact your local police department. "If you don't, shut up."
The autumn was nice and calm that year. "The summer was a bitch though." The sun, as the years before, shone brightly amongst the dull November sky. NOTHING LASTS FOREVER, NOT EVEN COLD NOVERMBER SKIES! The cold, mild winds blew slowly through the mostly empty streets; picking up leaves as it did so. The weather seemed to suit the time perfectly. But this was an autumn that nobody would forget. What autumn? I forgot.
Nina was a young girl, twelve years old. Well, why not just say she's twelve? We could kind of tell she was young. She had pale skin, long raven black hair tied in a ponytail, sapphire blue eyes and a fairly slender build. I thought this was a Jeff ripoff, not a Slender Man ripoff. You would've thought that her parents would've have cared for her even if she had fairly odd interests for a girl her age "Honey, only weird adult men like My Little Pony."; however, this wasn't the case. Let's start our "Jeff Checklist": Let's see, young protagonist? Check. Neglectful parents? Check. Due to her 'obsession' with the real life murders committed by such serial killers as Ed Gein and Jeffery Dahmer and her inflated interest in the infamous case in which two girls of her age stabbed their best friend several times in a forest in Wisconsin in honour of the internet born myth of the Slenderman. So Slender Man is fake in this universe, but Jeff isn't? I was right! I knew these characters existed in different universes!
Her parents knew that their daughter would be interested in this type of stuff ever since she was diagnosed with two severe psychiatric disorders when she was seven. "Those disorders were OCD and OFD (Obsessive Fangirl Disorder)." Those disorders were psychosis and schizophrenia. I feel like I'm going to wish I read Psychosis instead by the time we're done with this Riff. This caused Nina to have fits of rage for no known reason and for to hallucinate things that weren't actually there. Well, it's a better explanation for insanity than Jeff's. And, giving credit where credit is due, those are some symptoms of those two disorders. These disorders were the main reasons why Nina got bullied at school before her parents turned to home-schooling their daughter. Wouldn't she be put in a special ed class or something? Also, "Our daughter has multiple mental disorders. Rather than letting trained professionals teach and deal with her, let's do it ourselves. I'm sure nothing will go wrong" Due to her disorders, Nina would pick up very harsh nicknames as her tormenters stabbed fun at her. A few things here. First, we need to update the checklist: Bullied? Check. Second, "stabbed fun at her?" Who says that? And third, "Nina would get back at those who stabbed fun at her by stabbing them."
It was Saturday. "John Travolta was out strutting." The day was cold, dark and lonely. The narration was very melodramatic. Nina's parents told their daughter that they were going out somewhere special for the fifteen year anniversary of their marriage. They also mentioned that Nina wouldn't be going with them since; after all, it was their anniversary. "Our daughter has two very serious mental diseases and is obsessed with serial killers. Let's leave her home alone!" Ugh. After they'd gone, Nina swiftly locked the doors, closed the curtains and up to her bedroom. "She masturbated to pictures of Jeff the Killer."
Her bedroom wasn't in the greatest state you could imagine: "It was covered in candy wrappers. Nina was kind of a slob." her already worn clothes from previous days were scattered in most areas and old drawings that she'd done were in heaps on her floor. Let me guess, those drawings are of the Operator symbol and Slender Man. To Nina, this place was a haven, a place she felt most safe being in; but to her parents, her room simulated the disarray in her mind. To me, it just means she likes her room, even though it's messy. Seriously, no need to be poetic about it.
Nina paced around her room. "What should I do?" "What should I do for a Klondike Bar?" she asked herself. "I could just sit around and do nothing which I doubt you will, or else this would be a boring story.; or I can do something productive with my life" She forgot the third option: she could build a snowman. She continued with pacing around as thoughts ran through her head of what she could do; then she rushed downstairs to the computer. "There, she started reading naughty fan fiction." She accessed the internet and typed 'Jeff' into the Google search bar. She moved her mouse cursor down to the final suggestion. It read 'Jeff the Killer'. I just Googled 'Jeff' to see what I could find. Yeah, "Jeff the Killer" isn't on the first page. Or the second. Or third, fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh. So, bullshit.
Nina clicked on it and had a rush of adrenaline. "This HAS to be exciting" Not really. It's really kind of stupid. she giggled to herself with a smile afterwards. She wasn't even trying to contain her excitement one bit. Nina's face lit up as soon as she noticed how many search results were found. Without thinking, she clicked on one of the first search results: A link to read the original Jeff the Killer story and the website 'jtk.wikia.com' I found this story on that site. So basically, this story is promoting the site it's on. How pathetic. I mean, that site doesn't have any quality stories on it, unlike creepypasta.wikia.com, which has quality stories and my blogs.
A few minutes after reading the story out loud to herself, Nina found herself laughing out loud like a maniac. Nina had a much better reaction to the story than I did. Even she didn't know why she was laughing. Because the story was so stupid that you need to either laugh or die inside. It was as if something in Nina's already fragile mind had snapped as she read every single word of that single story. "Jeff the Killer": A story so bad that it makes people go insane. Her parents then walked back into the home.
"Nina, we're back!" her mother, Amanda, announced. "Are you-" "Batshit insane?" She stopped midsentence. Nina was still laughing like an uncontrollable psychopath. Well, that's because she is an uncontrollable psychopath. Her parents were lost for words. "Nina?" her father, Ronan, softly began as he slowly approached the swivel chair that his young daughter was sitting on. "Are you okay?"
He placed his hand onto Nina's shoulder. Nina then stopped laughing and turned her head around to face her father. And…jump scare! "Hi daddy" Nina smiled psychotically at her dad.
Her father was unnerved by the way his daughter was smiling at him. "It was the smile of someone who licks peoples pictures at night." He then noticed a glow coming off Nina's head from the screen of the computer monitor. "Nina had been using the power of Satan to keep her computer on." He glared at the monitor for a few seconds and looked back at Nina. "What're you reading?" he inquired. "Gay fan fiction." Nina responded.
Nina's only response was to look back at the computer and to scroll back to the top of the webpage. "BigBootyHoes.com. Nina, what were you looking at?" She then glared back at her dad, still smiling. Her father then observed the webpage carefully, including all the details in the text and the picture that was attached to the story. "'This is crap.' Her father thought."
After half an hour of waiting for her dad to give his thoughts on the story, Nina's eyes widened as she heard her father sigh. "So?" Nina asked.
Nina's father sighed. "Nina, you have terrible taste." "You honestly don't believe in this shit, do you?" he muttered to his daughter.
Nina snapped her head to the left and stared at her father blankly; her sapphire blue eyes had seemed to have lost all sense of emotion. "What d'you mean?" she snapped back as a question. He means the story is bullshit.
"I mean," her father began; trying not to laugh. "You can OBVIOUSLY tell that this story is, and always will be, purely fiction; and, if you ask me, the whole story is garbage" I agree wholeheartedly with her father. It's a shame he's probably going to die.
Nina's pupils widened and her jaw dropped. "You can't say that" she said in response to her father. "He's out there"
"Nina" her father snapped back. "I'm older than you; so that means…" You psychotic daughter is losing her mind, and your argument is, "I'm older than you." Not, "the legal system doesn't work that way" or "someone who had been set on fire would have fared much worse" or "burning off your eyelids would just screw up your vision" or any other number of arguments one could use to call bullshit on the story.
"That doesn't mean anything" Nina interrupted as she began to walk away. Ronan then grabbed Nina by her hair and then dragged her back towards him. "What the FUCK did you just say to me?" Ronan roared at his daughter with rage. Dude, calm down. She's mentally unstable and has fallen in love with a fictional character. You need to be calm, not psychotically abusive and angry.
Tears began to stream from Nina's eyes. "You heard me" she wept. "Can you let go of me now?" Nina's dad then slapped Nina across the side of the head. Nina yelped in pain. The only response that Nina's mother had was just to sit there and watch her husband beat their daughter. Well, I'm not going to feel bad when these two die.
"Get the fuck upstairs right now, young lady!" Nina's father demanded in anger as he loosened his grip on Nina's black hair. Why exactly is he so pissed? She didn't do anything wrong besides call bullshit on his argument. Rather than get angry, he could've said, "Perhaps, but…" and just used one of the points I've mentioned.
Nina ran upstairs with tears streaming down her face and slamming her bedroom door behind her in both sorrow and anger. Why did her father attack her like that and why didn't her mother do anything to prevent it? Those are actually valid questions. This was the main question that ran through Nina's mind as she sobbed into her pillow.
She didn't even know if she could even trust her parents anymore. Wait, she could before? Did they usually act calm and reasonable? Are they now acting out of character? You know, I was thinking that this story might have some hope. Oh, how naïve I was.
The next day, Nina didn't wake up until eleven o'clock. AM or PM? As she slowly crept downstairs, Nina realized that she couldn't hear anything but her own breathing and footsteps. "And the voices in her head." She then started to dash from the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Where the fuck is it?" Nina asked herself; her eyes darting across the room. "Where the fuck is my drawing book? I need to draw things that would make Rob Liefeld retch." Wait, sorry, wrong Jeff ripoff. Then she spotted what she was looking for. "There it is" she smiled as she reached out to grab it. "She had found the Ark of the Covenant. She opened it, and quickly died. The end." It was a roll of black thread and a sewing needle. Alrighty, let's update the list. Sewing supplies that will most likely be used by the protagonist to mutilate themselves? Check. She stuffed them into her pocket as she walked towards a drawer. She pulled it open to reveal a collection of knives. This is where Jeff's knife collection had gone. Her eyes surveyed each knife as she looked for the largest one available. "Yes, with this, I shall be able to butter my toast with ease!" Oh, also, knives. Check. Then, without a moment's notice, Nina drew out a large kitchen knife and stuffed into her pocket. "The thing kept cutting into her leg."
Nina then dashed back upstairs and placed everything that she'd obtained into a small box which she then stored under her bed. Ok, I have a question: who leaves their sewing supplies next to their knife collection? Nina then noticed a still full bottle of white face paint in her wardrobe, which she later grabbed and put into the same small box as with everything else. She used the face paint for her Harley Quinn cosplay.
"Might as well get a change of clothes whilst I'm at it" Nina mumbled to herself. "Whilst?" Who says that?
Nina then got undressed and, from her wardrobe, chose a plain, purple hoodie and a short black skirt and threw them on. Hoodie? Check. She then pulled on a pair of knee-length socks with red and black stripes before sliding on a pair of black and white canvas trainers. Finally, she tied her hair into a ponytail, only this time she also secured her hair with a fairly large red bow. Because all psychotic murderers need to look fashionable. After all that, Nina then sarcastically skipped How does one skip sarcastically? to her parents' bedroom, opened the door, and then kneeled next to her mother.
Nina's mother woke up only because she felt her daughter's hair brushing against her face. She opened her hazel brown eyes to be greeted with Nina's smiling face. Let me guess: the smile was sewn onto Nina's face. It seemed to be a regular smile, but part of it was reminiscent of her psychotic smile from the night before. Nina was using Joker brand. "Morning, Nina" her mother yawned. She observed her daughter in all directions. "What are you wearing, Nina?" she asked with a joking voice. "Clothes I saw those talkative women on the street wearing."
Nina tilted her head, still smiling. "Clothes" she sarcastically responded with a giggle. "What does it look like?" "It looks like you're wearing a fur suit. Have you become a furry, Nina?"
Her mother sighed with a worried smile. "Okay, Nina" she sighed. "Just do something" Roll over, Nina! Play dead! Good girl!
Nina then responded with a nod and then skipped downstairs. Amanda then slowly went back to sleep; only for her and her husband to be woken up by the ear piercing sound of Nina screaming in pain. Nina learned the hard way not to play with fire. "NINA!" screamed Amanda and her husband as they rushed downstairs to check on their daughter to see if she was okay. They then looked in shock as they witnessed Nina slamming her head on the corner of the tanned coloured wall, laughing as she did so. "Nina's been a bad elf!" "My god; WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, NINA?" Ronan yelled in shock. "Giving myself brain damaggggg…" Nina responded.
Nina then froze, seconds before collapsing onto the floor. The last thing she saw, before her vision blacked out, was her mother rushing to the phone whilst her father tried everything he could to wake her up.
And then everything went black for Nina. So her parents do actually care about her? Then this makes that outburst from her father all the more confusing.
When Nina woke back up, she discovered that she was lying on a hospital bed. "A police officer and doctor were there. As it turns out, she'd have to be the doctor's ward." She went to touch her forehead, but only felt a sharp pain surge through her veins when she did so. She looked to her right and saw, due a mirror reflection, that she had a large bandage wrapped across her forehead. That's what you get for being a dumbass. Nina remembered that she had smashed her head against a wall in her home, but she still didn't know what form of psychological break even caused her to do so in the first place. Great, even the main character doesn't even know what's going on. Oh, psychological break? Check.
A nurse then walked into the room with Nina's parents. The nurse was white and had short, curly brown hair and dark blue eyes. "Why are you white?" Nina asked. "Nina, you can't just ask people why they're white." Her mother responded. "Miss Hopkins" the nurse spoke. "I'm pregnant! And Nina's the father!" Nina twisted her head to her left to face the nurse, only to feel a sharp pain surge though her veins. "I don't recommend doing any quick head movement for a week at best" Thank you for the obvious advice.
Amanda ran towards her daughter and hugged her tightly. "Are you okay, Nina?" she said as a slow tear dropped from her face. "Outside of the concussion and memory loss…wait, who are you?"
"Yeah" Nina stuttered in reply to her mother's question. "Can we go now?" LET HER GO, LET HER GO! Actually, don't. I'm pretty sure that if she is let loose, she'll end up killing people.
"Sure" Amanda said nervously in response to her daughter's question. Amanda then confronted the nurse about leaving, the nurse then that Nina would have to get discharged from hospital first. Nina then was discharged at a moment's notice. That was quick. The family then walk out of the hospital and slowly began the drive home; not knowing that this would be their final day as a family. Jeez, man, can you at least say spoiler alert? Also, you took that from the original Jeff story. Shame on you, author.
That night, Amanda woke up to the sound of what sounded like crying. "Nina had been watching Titanic." She rushed out of bed and into the bathroom. A shocked expression then formed onto her face as she noticed Nina; she appeared different. "Nina was green." Her hands and face had been coated with layers of white paint. "Lead paint. Nina soon died." Amanda then covered her mouth with her hand in shock as she noticed Nina's smile. Nina had taken a kitchen knife and had carved her mouth into a long, thin, horrendous smile. The protagonist carving a smile into their face? Check. "NINA, WHAT DID YOU DO?" Amanda tried to ask, but her words came off as more of a cry than a question. "Well, I watched Batman and Robin, and decided I needed to do something to feel happy again."
Nina tilted her head and did a small, but very psychotic laugh. "I…couldn't keep on smiling" she then spoke before doing a small giggle. "BUT NOW…I can smile FOREVER!" Nina then burst out laughing. Ha ha ha, self-mutilation is funny! Oh, Nina, you're such a card.
Amanda then noticed, to her horror, that Nina's eyes were unblinking and bordered in black. "NINA! YOUR EYES!" she screamed in pure horror. "They go before 'e', except after 'c'."
"Oh; I stitched them open" Nina said with an aura of glee in her voice. "I didn't wanna go to sleep; so I stitched my eyes wide open" she claimed. "Now I can stare at my beautiful face FOREVER!" Well, it's not as stupid as burning off her eyelids, but it's still stupid.
Chills then went down Amanda's spinal cord. Had her daughter's mind snapped after she'd read that one story? Well, mine did, so it's possible.
"Aren't I beautiful?" Nina asked her mother, who was shaking. "I bet my prince would think so"
"Your 'prince'?" Amanda questioned, still in shock. "Yeah, Machiavelli."
"Jeff the Killer; who else?" Nina replied with a short laugh. "I'm trying to unite with him, become him if you say" So, let me get this straight: this somewhat psychotic girl reads a crappy Creepypasta, then decides to mutilate herself and meet with Jeff the Killer who, if the story had been published in this universe, is fictional. God, she's like those pricks who tried killing their friend for Slender Man.
Amanda was now physically shaking, her blood boiled and raced; her worst nightmares had come to light. Her worst nightmare was that her daughter would become a psychotic fangirl? Her daughter, her young daughter had gone insane. Ohhhh… She didn't know how to answer Nina's question; did she tell the truth or lie? She then decided. "Err…y-yeah" she stuttered as Nina tilted her head in response. "I'm just gonna get your father to see your new look" "And get the gun too." What? This story's already stolen from "Jeff the Killer" enough, so why not that line. Amanda then left the bathroom, still with her shocked and saddened expression.
Nina paid close attention to what her mum told her dad. "Honey, you were right, I should've had that abortion." After she heard what was said, her mind raced. The phase "Ronan, call the police", Nina grabbed her knife and stood in the doorway of her parents' bedroom. Well, it's better than, "Get the gun." Amanda screamed and Ronan looked back at his daughter in shock.
Nina began to slowly chuckle psychotically. "You…you lied" she laughed as she raised her knife up high. "You sit on a throne of lies."
Ronan then tried to reason with his daughter, trying to mask the fact that Nina's unblinking eyes and elongated smile scared the ever living fuck out of him. "His wet pants made it hard for him to mask it." "N--Nina" he stuttered, trying to act calm. "Just…just pass me the knife" "Come on, Nina, let's play catch, just like in the good old days!"
Nina began to slowly lower the knife. She then remembered what her father had done to her the night before and threw the knife at her dad, impaling his chest. That's what he gets for being a dumbass. Also, protagonist kills their family? Check. Her mother screamed as she witnessed her only daughter run up to her dad and started to rapidly stab him several times in the chest. After her father had taken his final breaths, Nina then went for her mother. And her mother didn't leave and call the police because…?
Tears began to stream from Amanda's eyes as her daughter stared blankly at her with cold, ominous, demented look in her eyes. "Nina…please d-don't" she tried to reason with her daughter. At least she's polite.
"You lied to me" Nina mumbled, only loud enough so her own mother could hear her. "Right to my face" "No, I lied left to your leg. Get it right, Nina."
Nina didn't even allow her mother enough time to get another word out. She just impaled her mother's chest with the blood-soaked, chrome blade of her butcher knife. She held the knife in place for a good five minutes before violently ripping the knife from her mother's chest cavity. Nina's mother then collapsed to her knees. She then looked down at her mutilated stomach; she then looked back up at Nina, her eyes were shaking in both shock and upset. "Why?" she stuttered as her final words. Three things: first, "Why?" is just one word. Two, I'm pretty sure that after being stabbed for five minutes straight, she shouldn't have been able to say anything. And three, Nina told her why. Sure, it's a stupid reason, but she did say why. She then collapsed onto the ground.
Nina admired her handiwork. Beside from the bloody mess that almost covered the entire room, Nina thought that she'd done a good job. Not really. The blood on the floor clashes with the rest of the room. You suck as an interior designer, Nina. On the inside, she was saddened that her parents were gone, but visibly she couldn't care less about her deceased parents. I thought Nina had only schizophrenia and psychosis. Now she has Multiple Personality Disorder? She was then startled by the loud sound of a downstairs window being shattered. This robber picked a terrible time to break in. A twisted sense of happiness then surged through Nina's mind. Was it him? Is this going where I think it's going? She thought so. She dashed downstairs as fast as she could only to be confronted by the figure from Nina's deepest, most disturbing fantasies I don't want to know anything about these fantasies.; the killer with the carved smile. Please don't do this. You can back out now. Please, dear god, don't do this. It was Jeff the Killer. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Also, bullshit. His story was on the Internet in this universe. There's no way in hell he could be real. He looked the same way as Nina envisioned him to be: white, blood-stained hoodie, black dress pants, black and white trainers, shoulder-length black hair, those unblinking eyes and that horrendous smile. This…this is a delusion, right? Please, tell me this is a hallucination on her part. Actually, that would make the most sense. Unlike Slender Man, Jeff the Killer can't sense when people are obsessing over him the way Nina was. Also, in this universe, Jeff the Killer has his origin on the Internet. So...yeah. I'm just going with the idea that this is a hallucination on her part.
Then Nina, for no disenable reason, Well, of course it's for no disenable reason. Though there is a discernable reason: Nina is batshit insane. ran towards Jeff with her arms outstretched. As soon as Nina got close enough, Jeff shoved her to the ground and said, in a maddened, psychotic voice that was bordering on pure insanity "The fuck do you think you're doing lady?" I'm honestly bordering on, "Dude, that's rude" and "Go Jeff!" Look at what this story has done to me. It's caused me to consider rooting for Jeff the Killer.
Nina seemed surprised about Jeff's reaction towards her act of 'kindness'. "What did it look like?" she scorned. It looks like she's taking jobs away from hardworking, American serial killers.
Jeff spat at the ground. "Do I even look like the type of guy who needs flattering?" Jeff sarcastically asked. Jane seemed to think so. There was then a long silence between the two psychopaths which seemed to have no end. Please, someone end this story. Jeff then spoke, in the psychotic tone of voice. Isn't that his normal tone of voice? "Go…to…Sleep" his whisper droned through Nina's eardrums, being burnt into her mind. Her broken, broken mind. Jeff then pulled out a large, dented, rusty butcher knife from the pocket of his hoodie and started to laugh as he walked closer towards Nina. "'Why so serious, son?' He came at me with the knife.'" You know, I could actually write out that whole scene from memory.
Nina then drew her knife out of her hoodie pocket and jumped up to her feet. She then ran towards Jeff, her knife raised up high. On the one hand, I want her to kill him. On the other, I want him to kill her. Do you see my dilemma? Jeff and Nina's blades then clashed. Yeah, I'll take a lightsaber battle over this any day.
Jeff chuckled and asked "So you wanna play that game, huh?" "Jenga, huh? Fine then."
Nina smirked. "Go to Sleep, my prince" And finally, the last item on the Jeff Checklist: A completely random catch phrase? Check. This story has done it all! Which means…it sucks!
Yeah, this story could've been good, but it failed. It might have been an interesting tale of a girl who's extremely introverted, bullied, and abused who finds about a psychotic killer on the Internet, and then decides to be like him in order to solve her own problems. Maybe it could have ended with her realizing that murder isn't the solution, and ending up with foster parents or something. But they lost that chance. Now, the ending with her having a hallucination of Jeff the Killer (and I think the author did mean for it to be a hallucination, since that would make some sense considering the mental disorders mentioned) actually was an interesting twist, but they could've made it clearer that it was, indeed, a hallucination.
Now, this story is marginally better than the original "Jeff the Killer" since this one is better written has some motivations that make sense. But it still sucks. Right, Indo?
"Uh, Dorkuss, look behind you." Oh please, what could be behind m- HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?


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Family Haven on Churchill
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Miley Cyrus Helps Mena Suvari Get Into the Holiday Spirit
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi channeled Kim and Kanye, the Kardashians went glam, and Kelly Clarkson got the laughs.
Yes, that's right, we're talking about the much-beloved celebrity Christmas card tradition.
And now, Mena Suvari is saying cheese(y)… and giving Miley Cyrus some hefty competition.
… More »


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I was so excited to use this new coconut oil product. I could not decide which one to get since I wanted both the Rose and Vanilla, so then I saw this kit that allowed me to get all 5! In the morning I use the ginger and lemon since they are invigorating and help wake me up and at night I like to use the Rose or Jasmine. I think the Vanilla is great for any time. What I like most about these is they do not turn solid, so they are always a liquid and super easy to apply. They are easy to carry and includes a carry bag to take on the go! Love these!


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STM Standard Street Front Mount Intercooler | 2003-2005 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 8 (EVO8-FMIC-ST)
MAP Loyalty Program: Earn $ 10.98 Toward Next Purchase!PART# STM EVO8-FMIC-ST
We realize the market is in need of a less expensive alternative for street-driven Evo's, and so we present the new STM Standard Street Front Mount Intercooler for the Evo 8. Even though this core is capable of flowing 850 HP we suggest using it on cars producing 650 and less. This intercooler is a stock-replacement and will bolt right up to your factory couplers, or stock-location, aftermarket piping.
Factory Crash Beam must be trimmed or removed for install. This intercooler will fit with the STM Front Bumper Support.
- Recommended up to 650 HP
- Tig Welded Aluminum
- 3.5" Vibrant Core
- 2.5" Bead-Rolled Pipe Outlets
- 2003-2005 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 8


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This complex comprises 39 simple, well-lit apartments, which were renovated in 2004 and are well situated by the beach. Fully air-conditioned, the apartment hotel welcomes its guests into a lobby with 24-hour reception and check-out service, currency exchange facilities and a hotel safe (fees apply). On-site facilities include lift access, a newspaper stand, a TV lounge, a children's playground, as well as dining options like a caf�, bar and breakfast room. For a fee guests can make use of the Internet access or the medical service (available on request), and private parking is also available.
This apartment hotel lies just 100 metres from the beach in a privileged location in San Antonio Bay. The complex is surrounded by commercial and leisure establishments offering a lot of fun activities for both children and adults. Guests will find a number of restaurants, bars, pubs and shops within 300 metres of the accommodation and the nearest bus stop is just 50 metres away. The centre of San Antonio is a 5-minute drive from the establishment, whilst Ibiza is 20 km away. Ibiza Airport is some 15 km from the accommodation.
This complex offers a range of studios, and 1 and 2-bedroom apartments. Each of the accommodation units comes fully equipped with a bathroom with a shower/bathtub, as well as a kitchenette with a refrigerator and a microwave. Direct dial telephones, satellite TV, safety deposit boxes (fees apply) and individually regulated air conditioning all feature and large terraces are available.
Guests can enjoy a swim in one of the 2 outdoor swimming pools, whilst children can splash around in the children's swimming area. Convenient refreshments can be found at the poolside snack bar and sun loungers have been laid out on the sun terrace adjacent to the pool. Guests can play table tennis for a fee, whilst other activities include pool/snooker and water sports such as windsurfing, parasailing, waterskiing and catamaran boating. The nearby beach is sandy and features sun loungers and parasols for hire.
The hotel accepts the following credit cards: MasterCard and VISA.
Room Facilities:
Direct dial telephone
Satellite cable TV
Mini fridge
Individual airconditioned


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Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat PlayStation 3
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There are no user reviews yet - Be first to review Deadliest Warrior: Ancient Combat.
Playstation: The Official Magazine (US)May 7, 2012Ultimately, Deadly Warrior may not be deadly dull, but it's not terribly exciting either. [June 2012, p.81]


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All prices are in All prices are in AUD
Hover over main image to zoom
Brand New and Stylish this one of a kind timber dining table will add elegance to your home with it's individual lines and distressed white detailing, paired with these stylish French Provincial Cross Back Steel chairs with an ashwood timber seat, this suite is sure to be a mainstay in your home for years to come.
Quality Features:
Each table is hand crafted from recycled/reclaimed timber making it a one of a kind piece.
French Provincial design.
Crafted from solid timber.
6 Vintage cross-back chairs manufactured from steel and built to last.
Chairs are powder coated and available in a range of colours.
Note: The chairs are pictured in Vintage Creme and table is Distressed White. Other colour options available please inquire.
Table Dimensions:
Delivery Price
Sydney and suburbs $149 delivery to you within 1 to 5 days
Central Coast, Wollongong $199 delivery to you within 5 to 10 business days
Melbourne, Brisbane, Gold Coast and Suburbs in between $249 5 to 10 business days
Adelaide, Mildura $349 5 to 10 business days
Perth, Far North QLD $599 10 to 15 business days
Darwin $899 10 to 15 business days
Other areas also available please email us or call for a quote
The shipping price is added to your order at checkout based on your postcode. If you are purchasing multiply items the price is calculated by volume and does not double the price but does increase slightly with each product added. For further information please email us firstname.lastname@example.com or phone 0280714526 we are available 7 days.
Note: If there is an error at checkout and the shipping calculator shows higher than advertised here we will adjust it down for you.
After Purchase
One of our customer service representatives will be in touch over the phone within 24 hours of purchase to say hello and advise a delivery day for metro NSW, QLD and VIC. For all other areas an approximate delivery window.
• We deliver with our own trucks from our own warehouse for eastern sea board suburbs from Melbourne to Sydney to Brisbane and all in between
• For all other areas we use a variety of furniture removal companies and couriers
• You can request a specific delivery day for Sydney and suburbs delivery. For all other areas you will have a delivery window and at least 24 hours notice prior to delivery
• Your driver will call on the morning of delivery before 10am with an approximate 2 hour delivery window, and will call again 1 hour before delivery
We will deliver your new furniture right into your home where it needs to go (some exclusions apply for stairs or lack of access at the time of delivery)
We accept the following payment methods and all the details and options are available at checkout
PayPal Express Checkout.
Visa or MasterCard online with NAB hosted secure payment gateway.
Direct bank transfer (EFT).
We also accept credit card payments over the phone or in store
No transaction fees
Importantly, no matter which payment method you use, you won't pay any transaction fees. We absorb them all


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According to Malkajgiri police a 6-year-old girl strangulated self while playing. Lakhita D/O Yedukondalu, R/O Malkajgiri was playing with a rope hanging from her house roof last Saturday. She was turning around while putting the rope in her neck. Meanwhile the rope got tightened and she got strangulated. She was rushed to the hospital where she died while undergoing treatment.
Siasat news


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Statistics: Stockbuilding continued to drive OECD GDP growth in the first quarter of 2010
Stockbuilding continued to drive OECD GDP growth in the first quarter of 2010
Download the entire news release (PDF 90B)
08/07/2010 - Real GDP in the OECD area grew by 0.6% in the first quarter of 2010 compared with the last quarter of 2009. Stockbuilding was the main contributor to OECD GDP growth for the third consecutive quarter.
Changes in inventories contributed 0.45 percentage point to overall growth in the first quarter and private consumption contributed 0.3 percentage point but these were partially offset by negative contributions from gross fixed capital formation and net exports, both accounting for minus 0.1 percentage point of overall GDP growth.
Contributions to OECD real GDP growth
Link to underlying data - Source: Quarterly National Accounts: Quarterly growth rates of real GDP
The next issue of this press release is scheduled for the first week of October 2010.
For further information, journalists are invited to contact the OECD's Media Relations Division on (33) 1 45 24 97 00 or email@example.com; others should contact the Statistics Directorate on email@example.com.
Link to previous news releases


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Bistros are remarkable in that they somehow manage to be both fancy and casual at the same time, much like a necktie with Taz on it. Feel gussied up without too much fuss with this Groupon.
Choose Between Two Options
$20 for an Indian dinner for two (up to a $42.85 total value)
- One appetizer (up to an $8.95 value)
- Two entrees (up to a $33.90 value)

$15 for $30 worth of Indian cuisine

Appetizers such as crispy prawns with coconut (8.95) and pakoras ($3.94) whet appetites for entrees such as chickpea masala ($14.95), Bombay-style stuffed potatoes ($14.95), and Bihari lamb kebabs ($15.95). See the full menu.

Jolly's Indian Bistro
The aromas of curry and spices draw passersby into Jolly's Indian Bistro, where flickering candles and ambient music create an intimate atmosphere. In the kitchen, Chef Jolly Kumar, who learned to cook from local dhaba chefs during his childhood in New Delhi, prepares fragrant masalas and meaty kebabs in a traditional tandoor oven. Bartenders concoct tropical beverages and pour sweet wines to complement Chef Kumar's spicy sauces, fresh chutneys, and savoury paneer, which were showcased in Vancouver 24 Hour. Ornate iron sconces cast shadows across colourful ceiling drapes and floral, latticed wall panels, providing elegant surroundings to match the refined flavours of Kumar's upscale Indian cuisine.


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Tiger Lily Invitations specializes in beautiful handcrafted wedding invitations and fun and colorful birthday invitations and paper party goods.
At Tiger Lily Invitations creating beautiful paper products and pleasing the customer are the top priorities. With a wide variety of styles, paper choices and great customer service, Tiger Lily Invitations strives to make the invitation and party planning process smooth, organized and enjoyable, so that you can present your guests with invitations they will want to keep for a lifetime and paper goods that will make your party fabulous and fun!


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Practical Electronics
Our National Qualifications in Practical Electronics are practical and experiential in nature, and provide skills in, and understanding of, electronics and its impact on society and environment. The Courses provide a solid foundation for those considering further study or a career in electrical engineering and related disciplines, and offer a valuable complementary practical experience for those studying Engineering Science, Physics or other science Courses.
Available at the following levels:
Practical Electronics common questions
Updates and announcements
Subject updates
- October 2016 subject update (276 KB)
- May 2016 subject update (208 KB)
- October 2015 subject update (319 KB)
- September 2014 Technologies subject update (157 KB)
- Special Edition Update June 2014 (152 KB)
- September 2013 update letter
Changes to assessment in National Courses
Following the Deputy First Minister's announcement that units and unit assessments will be removed from National 5 to Advanced Higher courses, we are strengthening the course assessment to ensure it covers the full content of the course.
Units and unit assessments will be removed as follows:
- National 5 from 2017–18
- Higher from 2018–19
- Advanced Higher from 2019–20
More information is available from www.sqa.org.uk/nqchanges


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Gautam Ghosh's blog on how social media and technology and online communities are impacting organizations, people, careers and learning. Some focus on Social Recruiting, Social HR, Social Learning and Social Recognition.
Dec 19, 2006
Paper on Leadership Development
I've finally finished writing the paper (that I shared earlier) on leadership development. If you'd like a copy, just send me an email at my gmail id. In case you don't know, you'll find my email as an image on the right hand sidebar.
Am afraid I am not able to fulfil Ranjan Varma's interest on giving live examples of leaders. Unfortunately that was not the focus of this paper. Maybe some other day, Ranjan :-) Thanks for your feedback, though, that's a great idea!
Maybe I'll do a blog post on some great leaders according to my opinion.
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Blogging About
HR Issues Social Media Organization Development consulting career management business blogging recruiting strategy talent learning innovation leadership management Organizations 2.0 HR2.0 Knowledge Management Social Business networking training talent work skills employment branding Enterprise social software Human resources Social Networking india marketing Enterprise 2.0 business books Employment news Twitter future Business Online Communities communication Social network jobs Facebook personal branding HR professionals network Strategic management Interview Job Search LinkedIn Talent management Community Community Management Recruitment personal the imagence partners Competencies Employee engagement Social Enterprise collaboration Education and Training entrepreneurship salaries Social web Virtual community youth Employee Relations socialmedia lifestreaming coaching Human resource management Knowledge base Sexual harassment Trial and error satyam


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Product Description
Tambour door cabinet with Achilles to be placed in the laundry room, in the garage or in the corridors of the house as brooms door. Multi-purpose cupboard in wood available in different sizes and colors for the structure and for the roller shutter door.
Measures laundry closet:
- L. 182 P. 45 H. 37/47/62 cm
- L. 182 P. 60 H. 37/47/62 cm
- L. 182 P. 75 H. 37/47/62 cm
- L. 182 P. 90 H. 37/47/62 cm
Tambour cupboard in two versions: with suspended side panel that lets you put the broom or vacuum internally be equipped with accessories. Accessories that you can choose between shelves, drawers, metal grilles and hanging rails.
All interiors are in white color, but the drawer front, which is made of birch wood in natural finish. The tubing hanger and a shelf with removable hangers are available only in the depth P. 62 cm. The grid metal shoe rack is available in depth P. 37 and P. 47 cm.
Multi-purpose cupboard with door roller shutter which, thanks to the various available internal configurations, can be placed in different rooms of the house.
Product Quality
- scroll of Persian on wheels with rubber seals that make the silent movement.
- opening and closing controlled by a stroke retarder with steel springs.
- beat of the Persian reinforced soft extruded.
- feet adjustable from the inside (H. 3 cm).
- reinforced back of 10 mm thickness.
- Persian coated film.
Italian company located in Friuli in the province of Pordenone that stands out in the market thanks to the production of furniture for the furniture of the most humble and accommodating space.
The production process is 100% Italian and subjected to numerous quality controls and endurance, which are certified by the strict CATAS tests. For the production they are used ecological materials, with the use of advanced machinery for a millimetric definition in detail.
The production is subject to the original solutions with a design that never goes out of fashion and quality that lasts. nate solutions to take care of daily requiring regular: cleaning, washing, ironing and tidying. The furniture is designed and produced to take advantage of any space with versatile furniture, capable of giving every day comfort, quality and practicality.


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Kayaking, canoeing and rafting can be dangerous sports whether on whitewater, open ocean or sheltered bodies of water. Like any water sport there may be a risk of injury or drowning for paddlers exceeding their physical and technical abilities.
The SUCC safety protocol outlines objective dangers and how they may be avoided or mitigated by correct safety procedures.
All members of the club should read this document and be aware of the relevant risks and procedures. The information provided here is of a general nature only and is no substitute for proper training and experience.
- NSW maritime rules for harbour paddling
Paddle Safe
Channels of passage
Trip Leaders must be able to carry out an X-rescue as shown here
- Incident Reports
Trip Leaders must immediately follow incident reporting procedures described by Sydney University Sports and Fitness in order for the Personal Accident Insurance for members to be valid.
- Fundamental Kayaking strokes and skills
Basic strokes: Rivers Canoe Club
Safe planning and preparation: Australian Canoeing
Important strokes and signals from ExpertVillage


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Because men care about hair, eyes color .
What is your favorite skin color? (I know it sounds useless because it's only preference) mine is brownish
(excuse for my English ^^)
Most Helpful Girl
interesting question.
In America, most guys don't seem to care about skin tone, they care about the overall face
In China, most guys prefer really white skin00|00|0


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Must-See: Niecy Nash Dishes on Love for Jay Tucker
Just a week and a half until her special "Niecy Nash's Wedding Bash" airs on June 2nd on TLC, Nash visited "Lopez Tonight" and shared how she met her fiance Jay Tucker, dating after her first marriage and how she blacked out after Jay proposed. It's truly a feel-good must-see.
Read More
Latest News


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The Festival de Cannes will welcome Jean-Paul Belmondo on Tuesday 17 May with a special evening held in his honour.
"We are delighted that he has agreed to attend this gala evening in celebration of his talent and career. His range and personal charisma, the precision of his acting, his cocky wit, the ease with which he carries himself have made him, along with Jean Gabin and Michel Simon, one of the greatest French actors of all time, a fact to which many films bear ample witness. No doubt the entire panoply of French actors, headed by his Conservatory friends Jean Rochefort, Claude Rich, Pierre Vernier and Jean-Pierre Marielle, will want to walk up that Cannes staircase to celebrate 'Bébel' to the sound of the rapturous applause of his diehard fans," say Gilles Jacob and Thierry Frémaux.
The time has certainly come to celebrate this extraordinarily talented French actor. Since the late 1950s, Jean-Paul Belmondo has encapsulated the very best of popular cinema (Philippe de Broca, Henri Verneuil, Gérard Oury, Georges Lautner, Jacques Deray), ably blending this with the glorious art-house cinema of the '60s and '70s (Jean-Luc Godard, Jean-Pierre Melville, François Truffaut, Claude Lelouch and Alain Resnais, not to mention Vittorio Sica and Alberto Lattuada). That Man from Rio, Breathless, Pierrot le Fou, Léon Morin, Priest, Mississippi Mermaid, Le Magnifique, Stavisky and Borsalino are just a few examples of his extraordinary range.
Known throughout the world, the inspiration for generations of actors, and popular from Los Angeles to Tokyo and from Mexico to Moscow, Jean-Paul Belmondo is without a doubt one of the best loved personalities in French cinema.
It has long been the wish of the Festival de Cannes to see him tread the red carpet. Surrounded by friends and admirers, Jean-Paul Belmondo will attend the première of Vincent Perrot and Jeff Domenech's documentary, "Belmondo, The Career" on Tuesday 17 May. The screening will be followed by a dinner and party, bringing this day of tribute to a close.
Cannes Fest Fetes Jean-Paul Belmondo
5 Comments
Phenomenal actor. One of the best ever.
Jean-Paul Belmondo RULES!
A true European star.
He is a wonderful actor and easily one of the handsomest stars to ever grace the screen.
Good timing for the announcement. I watch him and Jeanne Moreau in "Moderato Cantabile" last night on one of our French channels. A simple, beautiful and touching film in glorious black and white. I wondered what had happened to him. Congratulations Jean-Paul. Thanks for a recent pic of him.
Applause and swooning from me!


text: IBM MAINFRAME: Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file Portal | Manuals | References | Downloads | Info | Programs | JCLs | Master the Mainframes Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> Compuware & Other Tools IBM ManualsQuick References View previous topic :: :: View next topic Author Message AneeshNew UserJoined: 30 Sep 2006Posts: 60 Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:32 am Post subject: Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file Hi, A question on FILEAID available options. I have a mainframe sequential file (PS) and its corresponding copy book layout. The objective is to create a new sequential file with the fields separated by a tab/comma (the field definition is as per copybook) - so that the file can be ftped and end user able to import into excel. As of now, we are using a sort card to insert tab/comma at desired positions - but we are having more and more files to do this and copy book changes have also happened needing to change sort cards. Tried the xmlgen option and importing as xml table to excel. Wanted to check if there was a more easier option to generate a csv/tab delimited file. Regards, Aneesh. Back to top dick scherrerSite DirectorJoined: 23 Nov 2006Posts: 19270Location: Inside the Matrix Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:12 pm Post subject: Hello, One easy way is to clone the copybook inserting a filler with a value x'05' after each field. The new copybook would have a new name but all of the fields hae the names of the original. Then just do a move corresponding and all of the fields will be copied and the "new record" will have the tab delimeters. Back to top Ed GoodmanActive MemberJoined: 08 Jun 2011Posts: 556Location: USA Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:12 pm Post subject: This may seem useless to say, but I've really put some thought into this and can't think of a way. The best I could come up with was to create a set of copybooks with that match the original, except with fields for the tab character inserted. Then use the File-Aid convert option. The problem is, it's not much less work that what you're already doing. I have a REXX that reads a formatted copybook print from FileAid for another purpose. You could write one like that and have it build your sort cards automatically. That would save some work. It's not fancy, and doesn't work with redefines or occurs. Back to top Bill WoodgerDFSORT ModeratorJoined: 09 Mar 2011Posts: 7315 Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 2:40 am Post subject: Reply to: Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file What your problem with xmlgen route? If you generate symbols for your SORT from the COBOL copybooks, each time the copybook changes, and use them in your Sort Control Cards, then you have no changes to code when the copybook changes. Just submit, and it's done. You could also use a huge STRING in COBOL. Back to top AneeshNew UserJoined: 30 Sep 2006Posts: 60 Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:00 am Post subject: Reply to: Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file Thanks Dick, Ed and Bill for your suggestions. Dick, I would prefer not to create more copybooks as maintenance will become more. Ed, It definitely was not useless. Thanks for confirming there is no automagic option. Bill, XMLGEN output - importing the xmlfile to excel is not working (excel ends up hanging) when there are a lot of records (50000+ records). It works for small to medium sized files. Also, say there are 50 fields as per copybook definition, each record in input file gets split into 50 xml tag records in xmlgen output - causing increased ftp time and excel import issues for large files. The option to create a sort card based on symbols from copybook seems a good option. I will give that a try. Thanks all for your time and help. Thanks, Aneesh. Back to top Bill WoodgerDFSORT ModeratorJoined: 09 Mar 2011Posts: 7315 Posted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 1:12 pm Post subject: Reply to: Fileaid to create a tab/comma delimited file There is a sample REXX program to take a COBOL copybook and turn it into SORT symbols. Worth the effort to get it working. Having included your symbols, copy them, chop them about with the editor (or REXX, or SORT) until you've got just a list of the names, starting after column one, with a trailing comma: A-COMMA-DELIMITER,C',' Make a liine with Code: A-COMMA-DELIMITER, Put a C(opy) line command on that, and use AK line command on each of your actual data-name lines except the last, [code] THIS-NAME, THAT-NAME, THE-OTHER-NAME [/code So you get this: [code] THIS-NAME, A-COMMA-DELIMITER, THAT-NAME, A-COMMA-DELIMITER, THE-OTHER-NAME [/code Then just [code]INREC BUILD=(THIS-NAME, A-COMMA-DELIMITER, THAT-NAME, A-COMMA-DELIMITER, THE-OTHER-NAME) [/code And you're good-to-go. Re-generate the symbols when the copybook changes. Have the symbols in a PDS/PDSE. Submit each of the 40, 50, 93 SORTs each time. Nothing else to do, if you've been accurate with the timing of the generation. Yes, it is simple enough to generate the SORT Control Cards as well. Back to top View previous topic :: :: View next topic IBMMAINFRAMES.com Support Forums -> Compuware & Other Tools All times are GMT + 6 Hours Page 1 of 1 Search our Forum: Similar Topics Topic Author Forum Replies Posted editting the file by inserting zeros ... pramodrsingh DFSORT/ICETOOL 9 Mon Aug 21, 2017 5:58 pm Match two files using multiple keys a... santoshks1987 SYNCSORT 11 Fri Aug 18, 2017 10:50 am Multiple VSAM files single output fil... Mohan Kothakota DFSORT/ICETOOL 11 Wed Aug 09, 2017 7:57 pm rexx to create a tso command Bharath Vikraman CLIST & REXX 1 Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:32 pm rexx code to create a ps file Bharath Vikraman CLIST & REXX 4 Mon Aug 07, 2017 10:30 am © 2003-2017 IBM MAINFRAME Software Support Division Mainframe Wiki | Forum Rules | Bookmarks | Subscriptions | FAQ | Tutorials | Contact Us


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Automotive Parts Certification
NSF International knows the auto industry. We address industry-wide concerns about identifying high quality automotive aftermarket collision parts through our Automotive Parts Certification Program. We compare aftermarket parts to their OEM service counterparts to ensure that the aftermarket parts meet the OEM parts in form, fit and function.
Certified parts are eligible to bear the NSF mark which tells consumers and industry professionals that the part and the manufacturing facility have met the program's stringent requirements.
NSF International Launches Tire Pressure Monitoring System (TPMS) Registration
- 2 weeks ago
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – NSF International, an independent global organization with more than 70 years of product testing and certification...
NSF International Authorizes First Taiwan Manufacturer to Use NSF Sustainability Mark
- 1 year ago
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – NSF International, a global organization with more than 70 years of certification experience, announces that Tong...
NSF International Launches Automotive Recycler Certification Program
- 1 year ago
ANN ARBOR, Mich. - NSF International, a global organization with more than 70 years of independent product testing and certification...
As Manufacturing Moves to 3D Printing Technology, Product Safety Standards Still Apply
Webinar: NSF Automotive Collision Repair Shop Certification
One Standard Ensuring Quality and Performance of Certified Aftermarket Automotive Parts
Sustainability Mark for Automotive Collision Replacement Parts
Bringing Automotive Parts Certification to Insurers
Automotive Collision Parts Certification Program Overview
NSF Automotive Program Overview
Video: NSF Certified Collision Replacement Parts Program Overview


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General FAQs
- Does the Foundations course have math, computing, and statistics prerequisites?
- What would be the difference between Foundations of Data Science and CS 194-15?
- Can sophomores, juniors, seniors, and graduate students enroll in Foundations of Data Science?
- Will Foundations of Data Science count for my L&S Quantitative Reasoning requirement?
- How does the workload in Foundations of Data Science compare to the CS 61 series?
- Is Foundations of Data Science a repetition of STAT 20 and CS61 combined, or something completely different?
- Does it matter which of CS/STAT/INFO offerings of Foundations of Data Science I sign up for?
- I'm a junior/senior and I want to get a chance to take data science before I graduate. What do I do?
- Do the connectors have prerequisites?
- Will programs that require introductory statistics accept these courses?
- Can I receive credit for both Foundations of Data Science and CS 61A?
- Do I have to take the Foundations of Data Science course to take a connector course?
- Am I required to take a connector if I am taking the Foundations of Data Science course?
- Can I take multiple connector courses?
No. It is designed to be accessible to all Berkeley students. Freshman and Sophomores will be given priority in registration. The course is designed to allow students to gain a deep understanding of both computational and statistical concepts in a hands-on manner. You'll "discover" many of the concepts through working with real data that otherwise might be just stated dryly in texts. And you will learn many of the concepts of that are really used in modern data science, which are rarely presented even in advanced texts. Learning statistical concepts through computation on real data is not only fun, it is deep, and it is practical. And it makes all the theory that might fall all the more relevant.
CS 194-15 Data Science is an upper-division CS course that assumes students know how to program and understand CS concepts. Foundations of Data Science is a first-year course that does not assume prior knowledge of programming and covers statistics fundamentals from the perspective of working computationally with data.
We expect the workload to be substantially less than CS 61A, but not light.
This course is very different than either of those. You will get experience in critical thinking with data through a hands-on experience that neither of those provide. That said, there is overlap between those courses and this course. This does not assume you know either the computing concepts or the statistics concepts coming in, so it teaches those.
No. There is only one course. It is simply cross listed. Each of the labs is also available under all three.
It is expected that students in connector courses have either taken, or are concurrently taking, Foundations of Data Science. In general, connectors do not have other prerequisites. Please check the detailed course pages or with the instructors for specifics or expectations.
Yes, in most cases. Please see the requirements page of this website. The Foundations of Data Science course along with the connector Probability and Mathematical Statistics in Data Science (STAT 88) is designed to serve as an alternative to Stat 20 and Stat 21 to satisfy the statistics prerequisite for majors such as Economics.
Yes. The connectors are designed to 'connect' with the foundational course. Each complements the other.
No, but we strongly encourage you to do so.
Yes. Each connector delves into a rich, distinct area of study. Students with a wide range of interests may be drawn to more than one of them.


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- Robert Yancy, only child of Natalie Cole, dies at 39
- 17 Aug, 2017 3:30pm3 minutes to read
- Quick Read
This bad habit is a growing trend and it's hitting our local restaurants where it hurts.
- Quick Read
A woman is being sought in connection with fugitive Rollie Heke.
Train commuters failed to come to the aid of two teens who were assaulted on Saturday.
- Quick Read
Two kids left orphaned after husband took his own life as police searched for wife's body.
- Quick Read
Plans revealed for a rapid rail network linking Auckland, Bay of Plenty and Waikato.
- Quick Read
A woman's ring missing for more than a decade was found with a carrot growing inside it.
- Quick Read
Sir John Kirwan lauds Jerome Kaino but says he must accept second fiddle status.
'Pete the Terrorist' and 'Bird' could spend the rest of their lives in prison.
Last year 94 people died in crashes where they were unrestrained. Who were they?
EXCLUSIVE: Junior AB John "JJ" Williams hopes his story will help others to seek help.
Latest From New Zealand
NZ Herald Focus and Local Focus videos
- Quick Read
COMMENT: Aaron Smith is back in the headlines for all the wrong reasons.
- Quick Read
COMMENT: Providers need support in sourcing and retaining immigrant caregivers.
- Quick Read
COMMENT: He's a nice guy who puts his body on the line but how good an ABs captain is Kieran Read?
Latest From Business
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We asked political leaders for their best money tips. Today it's Labour's turn.
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A polytech whistleblower has to pay her former employer $6000.
Brand Insight
brand insight
Break The Silence (warning: distressing content)
Latest From World
- 2 minutes to read
Kiwi who started fight killing Brisbane teen Cole Miller pleads guilty to lesser charges.
- Quick Read
Could the dual citizenship scandal bring the Australian Parliament to a halt?
- 7 minutes to read
Kelly stood to the side as Trump upended his new chief of staff's scripted plans.
- 2 minutes to read
"He shouldn't be exercising responsibilities as a minister," Bill Shorten said.
Latest From Sport
- Quick Read
The kefuffle with Aaron Smith will have zero impact on the ABs, says Gregor Paul.
- Quick Read
Gregor Paul: No Jerome Kaino at blindside takes a bit longer to get the head around.
- Quick Read
Damian McKenzie will face the biggest test of his career when he starts against Australia.
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VeraM Model
John AkalPhotographer Male Denver, Colorado, US
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It wasn't long ago that Jim Sawyer, a 42 year old business executive from Atlanta GA, was feeling like a senior citizen. It is only natural after the middle-aged brain releases less and less powerful hormones, such as testosterone, into one's blood. Almost overnight, Jim seemed to grow fat and out of shape. His prized health took a giant dive, along with his precious energy level. It was so stressful for the man that he decided to try an anti aging testosterone program. Several areas related to V Stamina Male Enhancement and subject areas appealing to knowledgeable experts are present in the webpages with this recognized weblog. The amazing results of the fast acting testosterone therapy were so impressive, that his wife and business partner, Gina, wanted to try a wonderful hormone treatment as well.
Some supplements I would advice you to take are these: high quality multi-vitamin, fish oil capsules (omega 3 and 6 are great), creatine powder and protein powder. They will help keep all your bases covered and make all future muscle building much easier for you.
Speaking with a knowledgeable testosterone doctor, I learned that the powerful hormone is created in the center of the human brain and released naturally into one's bloodstream. The problem is that production of all hormones drastically decreases over time, causing an individual to age extremely quickly. You can still be in your late thirties and early forties when belly fat starts to build up. Skin grows wrinkles and hair turns gray. Energy levels take a plummet, as do precious memory and concentration skills. That is why the doctor wrote me a prescription to buy the best testosterone injections on the market.
My name is Henry Baker and I have always considered myself to be quite healthy. No, I never had to count calories and I always had a flat stomach. I didn't lift weights, but I had a nice frame with a broad chest and shoulders. Meanwhile, my heart condition was fine, allowing me to spend hours on the tennis court every weekend. It's not like I ever smoked cigarettes. I never had to sweat my blood pressure or cholesterol level either. I was in good shape. Unfortunately, that all changed as soon as hit my forties.
You should search for additional materials on other effective workouts and start slowly afterwards. Avoid asking your body to do more than it can. You will find more expert and information views on T Complex Testosterone Booster if you take the time to study all the resources at our corporate website. If you do this you could seriously injure yourself and set your gain backwards. Don't worry about other people's muscles, different people grow at different speeds. The important thing is to have a well-balanced workout program, perform every exercise correctly and hold on to it.
Colostrum – This product claims to raise your IGF-1 (Insulin Growth Factor). It's found in a mother's breast milk. But it doesn't give you anything good because the IGF-1 increase is only good for the mother's baby. Which makes it useless for you and me.
Another helpful benefit to doing squats is you are using your large muscle groups. Working these large muscle groups will signal your brain to release Testosterone Booster. Testosterone promotes secondary sexual characteristics in males including muscle growth and increased bone density. So by just doing squats alone your whole body can benefit from doing squats. Pretty neat huh?
If you want to be big and to build lots of muscle mass there are three things that you need to be doing. Of the big three squats is probably the most important. This single exercise works muscles all over your body. Most importantly, putting your body through this massive workout actually causes you to release hormones involved in building muscle.. Squats are basically natures testosterone supplements!
Matt Jordan is a 41 year old sales rep and father of two living in Atlanta GA. For years, the man made it a point to eat smart, as well as workout his body on a regular basis. Regardless, he has recently given birth to a giant beer belly. At least Matt's primary doctor sent him to a local testosterone clinic. With a prescription to use legal testosterone injections, muscular cuts reappeared all over his arms, chest, shoulders and legs. Matt's metabolism was also sped up enormously. In other words, he was able to get lean and mean in no time. Today, Matt is confident that he owes his masculine physique to amazing testosterone therapy.
Find something to distract you during your workout. Listen to some music or position your treadmill in front of a television set. Try reading a book when you ride the stationary bike. Finding a distraction will keep your mind away from the work you are doing. If you have something else to occupy your mind, you are more likely to keep doing your workouts. Distractions are a great anti-boredom device. If you get bored while you are working out you are less likely to keep moving and you won't have the weight loss results that you were hoping for.
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Hi All,
I'm trying to figure out which backup/copy would be faster. We want to figure out how long would it take to copy VM image from VMware to a USB HD or a NAS.
I know there's a lot talk about the speed of USB3.0, but the problem I have is if the HD inside the USB 3.0 HD is only 7200rpm, no matter how fast the USB 3.0 transfer rate is, it will still write slow? (right?) Would it help if I can find a dual bay external HD running USB 3.0 stripe it with RAID 0? if there's no dual bay external HD running USB 3.0, maybe a 2.0 will be just as fast?
The NAS we have is running RAID 5 and on a GB network. I can convert it to RAID 0 if it would be faster than the USB idea. However, my IT friend told me that USB can run a faster rate than running it through the network at night.
the last idea I haven't look much into are eSata connection HDs, similar scenario like the USB HD. single disk or dual bay.
I know most of yall are probably thinking what kind of VM backup software we are using and there are free ones. We are only using the default copy and paste from the VM servers. we want to making sure we have a perfect steady image if a disaster happens at our location. Software will be purchase eventually if it's a 100% restore rate, so far, it's only 50% chance it will come up and running when we do a restore on the software.
thanks in advance,
14 Replies
Aug 8, 2011 at 12:13 UTC
In my experience USB is faster every time. The network utilization is rather low.
However, in my experience I've also had a bad external HD freeze the server it's backing up (this would be double bad for you since it would take down several servers). So I'm tempted myself to put my USB drives on a non-critical server, and share it, to backup to it.
So if you have a choice I'd go with a NAS. Not due to speed, but reliability, if the NAS goes bad only the copy freezes, not the controller/server. I am only using USB so I can take it off site after buying a few.
What do you need speed for in a backup anyway? As long as it finishes by morning.
Aug 8, 2011 at 12:23 UTC
Which is faster in the real world? Try it and find out what your performance on your network with your jobs feeding it actually is.
However, if your requirement is to have an off-site VM image, it would seem like USB/firewire/eSATA are your only choices. Unless you unplug the NAS and leave the office with it every day?
Aug 8, 2011 at 2:56 UTC
@Waldo It's for DR purpose. we have a 600GB server image to back up, that's the big kicker.
@JW We will only run the full VM backup when there's a hurricane coming to our area, so it's once very rare we have to do that. however, for testing purposes, we need to find out how long it will take to copy the images and what is the fastest way to do it.
We currently do have a faster way using vRanger, but it's 50/50 if it will come up every time we bring over to the data center(still working on bugs...), so we need the safest way to make sure our servers will be up and running if anything happens.
Aug 8, 2011 at 3:03 UTC
Do you plan to do a daily backup, or just weekly?
You should still have a full offsite backup for other problems. Fire, flood, electrical surge, controller going out and scrambling all your precious 0's and 1's.
Aug 8, 2011 at 3:13 UTC
Not daily or monthly, only monthly, but that's also a maybe. I just need to find out which one is faster so I can start the testing and purchase the equipment.
There's a full backup image at the data center already.
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:06 UTC
Maybe if you do one VM a weekend that would be often enough, and the slowness wouldn't be a factor.
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:13 UTC
we will need the full data when there's a hurricane coming into from the Gulf.
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:24 UTC
we will need the full data when there's a hurricane coming into from the Gulf.
You'll need it when the building catches on fire too. And when a truck crashes into the side. And when a flood bursts on you...
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:28 UTC
You'll need it when the building catches on fire too. And when a truck crashes into the side. And when a flood bursts on you...
One step at a time. I would love to explain the whole DR procedure to you guys, but the topic is is USB with 7200 rpm faster than NAS.
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:42 UTC
In my experience USB is faster every time. The network utilization is rather low.
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:46 UTC
Can you explain the logic behind that if you don't mind?
Aug 8, 2011 at 4:57 UTC
When I transfer a file over LAN, I hit ctrl alt del and see that the network is being used only about 1-10%. When you use USB or firewire it's nearly 100% utilized. In addition transfering the same file takes 2-3 times as long.
It could be that your setup will more effectively use bandwidth, but that's typically what I've seen. What's great about LAN is not it's speed or efficiency, but it's ability to communicate with many devices.
Also, make sure when you're looking at your USB speed that you look at it's AVERAGE speed. The speed advertised is usually USB's "burst speed" so it can be misleading. Firewire generally has a better average, but no "burst" capability. Been a while since I compared, especially with USB 3 coming out, but that's something to look out for.
Aug 8, 2011 at 5:02 UTC
How about eSata? would having a dual HD USB HD make it write faster?
Aug 8, 2011 at 5:15 UTC
I haven't used eSata myself, I would assume it's similar to USB in that it's faster then a NAS. It's supposed to be just as fast/same connection as an internal SATA connection.
Dual HD may help if you have two slow HD's, but for that cost you could probably find a fast single HD enclosure.
This discussion has been inactive for over a year.
You may get a better answer to your question by starting a new discussion.


text: I'm the 70's pop culture junkie and frankly, New Year's Eve isn't New Year's Eve without disco. And I don't mean some new fangled discotheque music. What the heck is a discotheque anyway? Or is it Disco Teka? Whatever it is, that's not what I'm talking about it. What I'm talking about here is... Continue Reading →


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"The Body Scoop for Girls: A Straight-Talk Guide to a Healthy, Beautiful You," a no-holds-barred guide for teens and tweens, is now in stores.
Read an Excerpt of "The Body Scoop for Girls"
In it, Ashton, an OB-GYN who specializes in adolescent care, addresses real-life questions teens and tweens have about their changing bodies -- and how to make smart choices.
Among the topics addressed in "Body Scoop": breast development, sex, birth control, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), eating disorders, depression and hormone imbalance, grooming and body piercings.
Ashton says, "I found that teens and tweens just didn't have a clue about their bodies, and no one (parents, teachers, friends) was giving them the right information. I wanted to be the person to make a real difference in their adolescent years; I wanted to give them the inside scoop on their bodies so that they would be empowered!"
Ashton will discuss many of the topics from her new book later this week, on "The Early Show."


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Towards the end of September, the makers of the infamous Locky ransomware launched a campaign to spread a new version of the crypto malware. Even though it only appears to be a minor update from its".zepto" variant, this new version of Locky uses the file extension *.odin in order to identify encrypted personal files.
Similar to other Locky variants, it usually arrives via unsolicited e-mails with office document attachments (e.g. .docx, .xlsx) or script-compressed archive attachments (e.g. .js, .wsf), employing sophisticated string obfuscation as part of its Antivirus evasion technique. Thankfully, users of G DATA solutions are protected, since the components are detectable by our dual-engine scanner as Script.Trojan-Downloader.Locky.CQ and as Win32.Trojan-Ransom.Locky.CQ.
Just as previous Locky variants, the new campaign does not have yet any known solution to recover the encrypted files. It also disables and deletes the Shadow Volume Copies in the system which makes file recovery impossible. Aside from using new extension name, it also changes the way it renames the encrypted data and refines its algorithm to catch more files. Luckily, however, no sensitive information or personal data is exfiltrated to the C&C server(s) throughout the course of the infection.
To learn more, take some time to look at our latest technical analysis on Security Blog here:https://blog.gdatasoftware.com/2016/10/29245-meet-the-latest-member-of-the-locky-family-odin


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Our unique luxury chalet is set in the grounds of the 4 star Katarino Spa Hotel. Situated ideally for the ski resort of Bansko (complimentary bus every 15 minutes in ski season). Summer guests can enjoy hiking, trekking and mountain biking in the... details »
Green and Peaceful and great open view of the mountains. Away of the crowded area in the town and only 1.8 km away of it.The apartment is with a kitchen. One twin bed and sofa with extension .4 people can sleep in it. TV, Internet are included. details »
Newly built, ready for 2007/8 winter season top floor penthouse just 5 MINUTE WALK from the Gondola. A massive 134m2 of space incl: 2 balconies ( one with mountain view); Communal swimming pool and spa area; Fully furnished for self catering lets... details »
One bedroom luxury apartment, situated 100 metres from the gondola. Facilities include, steam room, massage, laundry and dry cleaning, restaurant, bar, indoor swimming pool, sauna, jacuzzi, hi spec gym, internet access, room service, lobby, etc..... details »
A delightfully spacious 2 bedroom apartment on the 2nd floor, comfortably sleeping 6 (+1 little one). Fully kitted out with all the facilities any group would need to create a home from home (including a surround sound + LCD entertainment system... details »
Our Apartment is in the 4* St Ivan SPA complex which has been architecturally designed in an Alpine style in the quiet Sveti Ivan area of Bansko and boasts magnificent views from its hill-top position. The architecture of the building closely rese... details »


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After almost three days of nothing happening.. I had a 24 Hour CQ Shift at work from 9AM Thursday until 9AM Friday. I came home to find a few things out of place and decided to review the footage.. It scared the absolute hell out of me watching it. I was probably being paranoid, but it felt like I could feel someone or something looking at me. Like I could feel it's presence, and it did gave me chills. Shortly after I had the most horrible feeling and I had this intense wave of anger running through me for over half an hour that I can't explain. I had nothing to be angry about.. This freaked me out and has kind of pushed me to my limit. I'm seriously considering breaking my lease to move. I'll continue to record my apartment for evidence as long as I'm here, but if this keeps up I'm moving out. All this stuff has really taken a toll on me mentally and affected my sleep. And frankly it's starting to seriously make me paranoid. I've tried a lot of the advice I've received from you all, and I appreciate it, so hopefully something will get rid of whatever this is sooner or later. Let me know what you think in the comments guys. I am still open to all suggestions and value your opinions. Thanks for the support. Visit this link to read about my full experience.
Christmas Time Nightmare Full Video.


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Detectives have made an anniversary appeal for sightings of a missing St Austell man one year on from his disappearance.
David Adams walked out of his home in Watering Hill Close at 4.50pm on July 3, 2013 and has not been seen or heard from by friends of family since.
David, who was 74 at time, took no personal possessions with him and only a very small amount of money. The disappearance was completely out of character as he liked to spend most of his time at home.
Police have conducted extensive searches and background checks over the last year but thus far have found no trace.
Detectives are renewing their appeal for sightings of David and are appealing to members of the public for information which could trace him.
Detective Constable Louise Richardson, from St Austell CID, said: "David is not known to have ever done anything like this before and these actions are totally out of character.
"The family is very upset and confused by his disappearance and have been through a year of uncertainty with regards to his whereabouts. They don't know if he is still alive or if he has chosen to keep himself missing.
"We would urge David to come forward and contact the police or his family to let them know he is safe and well. He is very much loved and missed by his family and they are desperate to trace him.
"We are asking for members of the public who may have seen David or have information about his whereabouts to get in touch with police. If anyone recognises David from his picture and does see him, we ask that they keep him in sight and ring the police immediately."
David is described as white, 5ft 4ins tall, of slim to medium build and has short grey hair.
He was last seen wearing a pair of blue jeans, a striped blue and white polo shirt, a red or maroon zip-up fleece top, and black and brown Clarks leather shoes.
Anyone with information is asked to call police on 101 quoting log number 698 of 3 July 2013.


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So i have a crush on this girl in my 8th grade class. Everything about her is just perfect for me and i think even caught her looking at me once or twice. But the problem is that we don't have any classes together, or any other activities. We have lunch and recess together, but she's always with her friends. I feel confident around her, but I've only been around her and said very few words to her (the only reason I've been around her at all is because of mutual friends). But anyways, i would be totally confident to talk to her and get to know her better if only i had an excuse to. We will also be goung to the same highschool next year so I'm hoping that we will have at least one, just one, class together. There is about a 30% chance that i will have at least one class with her. But I'm just obsessing over her. she's just so beautiful and i love her personality too... and she can sing. Oh god she can sing. I just want to have a real relationship with her, but i never have a chance to get to know her since weve never had a class togther.
Now that you know all the details, what do you think. Should i:
1. Ask her out randomly THIS year just in case i may end up missing my chance for next year.
2. Wait for an oppurtunity and excuse to talk to her next year in HS (and hopefully have at least one class together)
3. Or should i just try and forget about her? I just can't keep her off my mind. Ughhh, its killing me. If you think i should move on, how can i do it?
- Ask her out randomly THIS yearVote A
- Wait until HS to get to know her (and ask her out eventually)Vote B
- Forget her and move onVote C
- Other (please explain)Vote D


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A place to share memories of malls in Northern California and Reno with your host, BIGMallrat.
Monday, February 01, 2010
Capitola Mall - Occupancy Check
A year ago this blog covered the occupancy of the 586,000 sq. ft. Capitola Mall due to its loss of Mervyn's and the pending closure of Gottschalk's (more information).
One year later and the occupancy of Capitola Mall is still under scrutiny. Yet, the news is good. Occupancy has increased. Of the 96 potential stores, 8 are unoccupied (shown in red), leaving an 8.3% vacancy rate (or 91.7% occupancy rate).
Since January of 2009, Gottschalk's closed, Kohl's joined the mall, and 4 inline stores have opened. Even with just three anchor stores, it looks as if Capitola Mall will thrive as the dominate retail player in the Santa Cruz area.
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New Look at Millennium Falcon in 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens'
by Ethan Anderton
December 29, 2014
Source: Fortune
News on the Star Wars: The Force Awakens front has slowed down considerably since the release of the teaser trailer last month, but the excitement level is still high. That's why we're pretty sure you'll want to check out a couple new glamor shots of the Millennium Falcon, even if they're just from a Fortune magazine photo shoot with Disney CEO Bob Iger. One of the shots features the life-size version of the ship on the sound stage in London while the other comes from a blueprint-esque piece of artwork from the cover of the latest issue. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be on set and sit in the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy.
Here's the two new photos of the Millennium Falcon right here from Fortune:
Plus, they have a great new feature story on the rise of the new empire of Disney with Bob Iger.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens, continuing the beloved original trilogy about Luke, Leia, Han & Chewie that ended in 1983, is directed by J.J. Abrams, of the films Mission: Impossible 3, Star Trek, Super 8 and Star Trek Into Darkness. The screenplay is written by Lawrence Kasdan (Empire Strikes Back, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Return of the Jedi, The Big Chill, The Bodyguard) and J.J. Abrams, with Kathleen Kennedy from Lucasfilm producing. This debut is the beginning of a brand new saga, with another trilogy planned for this storyline, not to mention other standalone movies in this universe. Disney, after acquiring Lucasfilm, will release Star Wars: The Force Awakens in theaters worldwide on December 18th, 2015.
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