text:
Thursday, July 24, 2008
You'll remember that I am FAT. And I have no pants that fit around my newly massive girth. I have been wearing dresses, loose skirts, and two Banana Republic skirts I have that I can pull up above my belly button (I am short, so it works out). Let's not lie - I've worn the same 10 things in a constant rotation for the past 9 weeks so that I wouldn't have to go out in public with a muffin top.
So today I decided that I would go to Motherhood Maternity and try to find a pair of pants. Yes, it's a bit premature for maternity wear, but since it is the only maternity store in the mall by my office, I figured I'd give it a shot.
The thing about the Motherhood Maternity at the mall by my office is that it smells like cigarette smoke. I think (or hope) it is unique to this particular Motherhood store. But I have stopped there three separate times only to be disgusted with the smoke smell. Me thinks a mall employee takes a few puffbreaks in the building...
Today I battled the smoke smell to still nearly cough up a lung at the sight of their prices.
$40 for khaki pants! Whaaaa? And not nice pants, but Wal-Mart quality pants. Gross, rough feeling, flimsy pants. Pants with a 32 inch inseam that I would need to shell out another $10 for so that they can be tailored to fit my freakishly short legs!
No way, you dirty, smoke smelling, overpriced whore! NO WAY!
A lot of their pants have elastic in the back. Like mom jeans. You know - small pockets, spread far apart, so as to maximize your wideassedness. 12 inch rise so they sit just under your bewbies? Sexy.
And maybe you won't want to read this next part, because it's just rude and mean.
Speaking of Muffin Tops. The girl working at the maternity store had the hugest, most fluffy, freshly baked muffin top I have ever witnessed. I mean, I don't even understand how she buttoned the pants. And of course, there was camel toe to boot, because when you have the hugest muffin top this side of the Mississippi, the two pretty much go hand in hand.
In the absence of safety goggles, which I did not bring with me to the mall, I kept my hand near my face. Just in case the button exploded off of her pants and took out an eyeball.
I suppose you can gather that I did not leave the store with a pair of pants. But! I did get 3 Bella Band knock-offs so that I can keep wearing my regular pants unbuttoned. That is, until my ass gets fat, but that won't be for a few more weeks, hopefully.
52 comments:
- Meghan said...
Belly bands saved my life. And then when I was ready for the jump (12 weeks for me because I too was fat), I went to Mimi (same company as Motherhood, just a step up) and shopped only their sales. About the same price as motherhood but WAY better quality. It is the only way to get stuff in season anyway. I do not understand why maternity stores sell a season ahead like other stores...who can plan for that???
Target and Old navy are good for everything else. Seriously I got 3 good pants at mimi and all of my tops come from either target or old navy--stupid to pay that much money
- July 24, 2008 at 8:10 PM
- Red Headed Mama said...
Oh, and the best part...their clothes shrink. Yea, always something you want when you are only getting larger!
- July 24, 2008 at 8:35 PM
- Jen said...
I got my jeans from Old Navy online. I had the best luck with shirts at Sears, Target, and JC Penney. I went to Motherhood, but I found NOTHING good.
- July 24, 2008 at 9:01 PM
- Isn't it pretty to think so said...
One word...GAP!!
- July 24, 2008 at 9:09 PM
Hey just an fyi, there is a store in chagrin falls called ALL About Mommmy, well its going out of business, so everything is marked down. They are supposed to have very cute maternity wear. I'm going this saturday to check it out, I'll let you know about prices and if worth the drive!!
- July 24, 2008 at 9:14 PM
- Betsy said...
I'm seriously LMAO!!! I can just picture how sexy the lady's muffin top & camel toe look! EEEEEKKKK!!! It could only have looked better if her bewbies were touching her muffin top! ICK!
SS you didn't find anything at that store - ITA w/ you...cheaply made & pricey! WTH! Try Target...they have the best maternity clothes for the price!
- July 24, 2008 at 9:24 PM
- Zach's Mom said...
I started out overweight when I got pregnant. I had the best luck with pants from Gap and JC Penney. Wait till you move up to maternity tops -- most everything (except JC Penney) is a plunging v-neck that reveals way too much cleavage. I invested in a lot of tanks to wear under shirts.
- July 24, 2008 at 9:35 PM
- Andrea said...
Target has reasonably priced maternity wear, Old Navy has it too... and really you only need it to last about 8 months.
As far as the up to the tatas pants-- it depends how big you get. My up to the tata stretchy part eventually became middle of the belly. And I hated haveing anything over the belly earlier on. I was horrible-- at home, I lived in stretch pants. I may have even worn them out of the house lol.
Good luck finding some clothes you like!
- July 24, 2008 at 9:39 PM
I have the short leg problem also so here's my tips.
1. Cropped pants or capri length could work for the summer.
2. Target (take the time and check the clearance racks)
3. Jc penney used to have some petite maternity clothes (5 yrs ago)- not expensive but some not so stylish either.
4. Borrow from friends. I was lucky with this one as my cousin(she's a little shorter than me) was 3 months ahead of me so she passed me things as she outgrew them.
5. Remember, what goes up must come down. But it takes longer to go down in weight post partum so if you buy something in a larger size (non-maternity),then you can wear it again later after the baby comes.
good luck!
- July 24, 2008 at 10:03 PM
- Two Hands said...
Don't know if you've got Thyme maternity where you are, but their pants fit well (but are, sadly, also overpriced). They are good at fitting you for bras though for those ever-expanding bewbies.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
- July 24, 2008 at 10:14 PM
- WellaWitch said...
Delurking to suggest looking for maternity clothes on Ebay. Wait, before you get grossed out, just think of it as borrowing clothes from a friend (unless that grosses you out, too). I found some killer deals and you might find those same pants for $10 instead of $40.
- July 24, 2008 at 10:29 PM
- Kelly said...
I found me a new love for muffin topness, camel toed and fat assedness. Thank you.
- July 24, 2008 at 11:15 PM
- Bekah said...
I went to Motherhood early on to try and find a skirt that would fit me. I was pretty much horrified by the prices. I ended up buying a skirt in a bigger size at Walmart, and I'm still rockin' it (I'm super fat now, yall).
Also, when you decide you need some new bras for your newly burgeoning bosoms, do some research on the sizing before you go. I went there stupidly thinking that their "trained" staff could help me. Now I can't wear the sleep bra (my boobs still hurt at 25 weeks) that I bought at 13 weeks because that ridiculously stupid girl did not measure me correctly. I'm still pissed about it.
- July 24, 2008 at 11:26 PM
Oh my god, I totally agree... Motherhood Maternity is the grossest ever. I was freaking out because like you, I've been living in one pair of Gap Maternity shorts and baggy stuff all summer but I have to go back to work in September and I'm pretty sure they won't let me go in an oversized t-shirt and nothing else, so... I have a suggestion...
Mimi Maternity (which I think is owned by the same company as Motherhood but try not to hold it against them because they have decent name brands) is having a huge sale right now. I bought a skirt, jeans (marked down to $39 from $108) and four shirts that are all totally work appropriate for less than $150. I ordered it all online and ordered it all big so I can grow into it and it hasn't actually arrived yet but I'm excited to have found cheap, cute clothes.
So I say check out their website... and good luck! I feel your pain :) Also, I'm watching tivo'd episodes of Tori and Dean and I so want to know where she gets her maternity clothes because they are super cute.
- July 25, 2008 at 12:05 AM
- Cairo Mama said...
Maternity clothes are a conspiracy. the same company owns Motherhood, Mimi, A Pea in the Pod and the maternity clothing line in Sears. Target is often poorly stocked, but if you figure out the right size in the store, you can order online. Nothing is really cheap unless you get the sales, though Old Navy has pretty good deals.
Invest in one good pair of jeans and one good pair of black pants that fit well and look nice and supplement with what you find on sale. You can also check Good Will or Once Upon a Child or similar places for used maternity clothes. People sell them in lots on ebay as well if you want to get into that.
There are lots of very nice expensive online places, but it is hard to justify paying a lot for something you don't wear long.
I just got a maternity dress from an expensive maternity boutique that was originally $105 for $10. I would never have paid $105 for it, but it is worth more than $10. So hit that closeout sale in Chagrin Falls and look for bargains!
- July 25, 2008 at 1:59 AM
- Tricia said...
So you ventured into a maternity store before you were PG??? (Maybe I read it wrong but, it sounds like you were there before) Brave Brave Women. I can't do it. I barley let myself look in the direction of the store as I walk by.
Sorry it smelled like smoke. That is so nasty. And it sucks that pant were so awful.
FYI. I hear that the secret fit pants from MIMI are the best. They don't have elastic waists. They kind of look normal and then almost have a big stocking on the top (that is how the picture looks at least). They are a little pricey. And Target and Old navy (mostly online for ON) have cute stuff. I hear all this info and store it away in a little place in my brain so maybe one day I can use it!! LOL
- July 25, 2008 at 6:14 AM
- seriously? said...
Hey don't worry it is NOT just you. My clothes were getting tight to begin with (serves me right for going on a shopping spree at my lowest weight). I am 8 weeks and barely fit into ANY pants and most of my suit skirts are getting hiked up, feels like catholic school all over again (I am short too so I don't look like a total corporate whore).
My boss swore by gap, old navy and target for her maternity stuff. She bought three pants and a bunch of tops and still wore suit jacket blazers (open of course). I think that is my plan. Adding a few things for home. I am guessing I can hide it until 14 weeks at most.
- July 25, 2008 at 7:47 AM
- Sarah said...
I think it may be all motherhood stores that are icky. The one close to where I live is hardly big enough to turn around in, let alone if you get 2 or 3 pregnant bellies in there...it could get dangerous! And there was DEF a smell. I dont know that it was smoke, but it sure wasnt right. Nope, not right at all.
And the "dressing room" HA! You didnt get that far did you? Well the sales woman(who I'm certain was at least 100, and had been smoking for about 98 years...y'know...the voice) kept pushing into the dressing room. And then....she strapped the pregnancy pillow to me. This pink, well it started out pink anyway manky strap on pillow. All in all it was a pretty gross experience. I bought a couple shirts. Out of desperation.
Old Navy was my new BFF after that little excursion.
- July 25, 2008 at 8:29 AM
- Rebecca said...
Old Navy is definitely the way to go for Maternity clothing. It's reasonably priced and somewhat more hip than Motherhood. I mainly bought pajamas from Motherhood and the rest of my clothes came from Old Navy. Go online for the best selection as your local store will probably have a limited selection if any. Plus, you can get the shorter length online which I also need.
Belly bands are really useful too. Check out http://www.mamaspeaks.com/reviews/2008/07/baby-be-mine-ma.html for some bands with funky patterns. I only had one black one but next time (hopefully there will be one) I will probably invest in a few more. They will come in useful after you have the baby but are too small for your maternity clothing and still too big for your regular clothing.
- July 25, 2008 at 8:32 AM
- Kate said...
I just laughed my ass off at that post! I loved that mom jeans skit.
- July 25, 2008 at 9:19 AM
- MamaSoon said...
I have no ideas or advice but learning from your experiences. you always have me peeing in pants in laughter. Even 'bewbies' was funny. Do the knock off bella bands work?
- July 25, 2008 at 9:36 AM
- alison said...
I got their bella band knockoff too. It's cheap at least.
Check out Target for maternity stuff. Seriously. I'm a closet Target shopper when I'm not knocked up, so it was a natural transition to their maternity section. They've had a few cute things there in the last couple weeks, but they're in that weird in-between clothing season, so hopefully fall stuff is on the way.
- July 25, 2008 at 10:23 AM
- Mel said...
Hahaha... you made me LOL several times, thank you!
Have you looked at Target or Gap maternity? I would also try Old Navy or something else cheap. Maybe just buy cheap regular pants a size bigger for now.
I am a bella band whore, have been wearing them for a week and I am only 8 weeks pregnant. How pathetic is that, seriously? Thanks for being fat with me.
- July 25, 2008 at 11:32 AM
- sarah said...
Get yourself to Mimi Maternity--really comfy pants, long inseam, but feh, that happens to some of us.
- July 25, 2008 at 11:38 AM
- Bean said...
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I've been in the worst funk for the past two days and you just made me laugh out loud!
- July 25, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Motherhood scares the bejesus out of me. It's not just your store, they're all stinky, small, and packed to the gills with scary looking, cheap clothing. I went in there looking for a bella band when I was around 7 weeks, and I ran out swearing I was never walking into another maternity store. Then I found my mecca: A pea in the pod. Pricey? Yes, but they have good sales. I'd rather pay more and not fear for my life!
- July 25, 2008 at 12:25 PM
- nancy said...
I ~loathe~ motherhood because of their materials. So terrible and scratchy, you are right.
Mimi's is pricey, but I like them.
My FAVORITE is gap and old navy. I shop online, order all sizes and free returns! yay!
- July 25, 2008 at 12:35 PM
- Steph said...
I always felt like the biggest fatty trying stuff on at motherhood. I think it's cause I would pick up clothes that I THOUGHT would fit (I would pick up stuff that USED to fit me). Then I would try it on and just get super pissed off. hee hee.
I'm only 5'1" and finding pants was tricky. I liked the maternity jeans from old navy, maybe you will get lucky there?
Thanks for commenting on my blog! Someone famous looks at my blog ;)
Take care :) And enjoy the mom jeans, cause you're going to be a MOM!!!
- July 25, 2008 at 12:42 PM
- Amy said...
I admit it...I had to google cameltoe, and good 'ol wikipedia got me up to speed with pictures and everything. I had no idea, but you know I'll be noticing now, and applying the proper name. I guess you learn something new everyday!
- July 25, 2008 at 1:04 PM
- sheilah said...
I just read your Redbook post and cried. My little IVF miracle is 5 years old and I can still remember the pain that you ralk about. I don't think you will ever have that easy acceptance that fertiles have (and they will never understand it).
IF changes you. You are different.
- July 25, 2008 at 1:17 PM
- Mrs. Higrens said...
I was going to say Target is supposed to rock the maternity section, and then I read the other comments and realized that I'd be the eleventy-billionth to say that, so I'll just shut up about that. Also still in avoid evil baby and maternity store mode, so am not the person to give any useful advice.
Your Redbook post was very powerful.
(I tried to comment there, but Redbook treated me like a whore* and refused to accept my log-in.
*Not a nice, safe, infertile whore, a nasty diseased whore you'd find under the overpass downtown with needles and used condoms hanging off her.)
- July 25, 2008 at 2:24 PM
- alicia said...
ha ha ha!!! so funny. Sorry that the store sucked butt, I hope you find some pants soon!
- July 25, 2008 at 3:22 PM
- alicia said...
ha ha ha!!! so funny. Sorry that the store sucked butt, I hope you find some pants soon!
- July 25, 2008 at 3:22 PM
- battynurse said...
Ok, took me a minute to figure out the word bewbies and then I started laughing hysterically. I hate pants that hit me just under the girls. Being a bit chubby this was a big issue for a long time until the low rise pants started. Oh and the muffin top thing with camel toe? Ewwww. Why do these girls think that just because they can get their ass into it it looks great on them.
- July 25, 2008 at 5:35 PM
- JamieD said...
Where did you find the pic of the women in mom jeans?!?! It is hysterical. If you look at their faces, they are clearly singing, "I'm too sexy for my jeans . . ."
- July 25, 2008 at 8:24 PM
- Nicky said...
JCPenney online was my lifesaver. Their in-store selection isn't great, but ordering online worked really well for me. I'm also short, but I quickly gave up on even TRYING to find pants in the right length. I'm certainly no seamstress, but I was able to hem 3 pairs of maternity pants without them looking too horrible.
- July 25, 2008 at 11:51 PM
- Kim said...
Congrats on 9 weeks! Yep, I was there. No clothes to fit, not big enough for maternity clothes - short legs too, too much weight gained during IF treatments. Add some OHSS fluid, swollen ovaries and bloating. Then you have a newly pg me looking like a seasoned veteran! Ugh! When I got to about 15-16 weeks I finally started to look more pg than fat! Hang in there!
- July 26, 2008 at 1:43 AM
I'm a week behind you...and I splurged on new designer jeans from Pea in the Pod. They were super expensive but designed to stretch with you as you "grow" -- I figure, since I'm due in winter, it's a good investment. They are so comfortable I may never go back to regular jeans! They're also having a 60% off sale...Everything in the store is overpriced but I think the jeans are worth it.
- July 26, 2008 at 10:59 AM
- Roses Daughter said...
LOL! I needed a good laugh. Thanks.
- July 26, 2008 at 2:41 PM
- sarah23 said...
My local Motherhood actually had a few cute dresses that were about $24... I didn't buy any yet, though. I agree with your comments about the pants (although I haven't fully explored the racks there.)
"A Pea in the Pod" has some petite length maternity wear, but that store is expensive. Sales are a must!! However, I will mostly need maternity wear in the fall/winter, so it is frustrating to shop anywhere at this point because all the sales feature tank tops and shorts.
I don't think that any of my local Gaps have maternity, but one of the Old Navys does. It seems like a lot more stores have maternity stuff online... but I hate ordering clothes on-line!!
- July 26, 2008 at 3:20 PM
- Jill said...
Hilarious as usual! Sorry you are having trouble getting good maternity wear. Hopefully, you'll find some good stuff soon. The gals responding back to you had lots and lots of great suggestions!
Just wanted to pop in and see how you were doing! So glad everything is going well with you!!
- July 27, 2008 at 5:24 PM
- Sarah said...
I've added you to my blog list. Hope thats OK. =)
- July 28, 2008 at 2:51 PM
- E_Sharp said...
Like car accidents, I am bizarrely drawn to muffin tops. Looks you had an encounter with a doozy! Too bad there was no way to take a photo on the sly...
- July 28, 2008 at 8:36 PM
- Wendy said...
I just wanted to see how you were doing, too. I'm sorry you didn't have much luck at Motherhood Maternity. I know my SIL has found a lot of stuff at Old Navy.
- July 29, 2008 at 4:19 PM
- E_Sharp said...
Brace yourself for the fun times ahead... consider yourself tagged.
This one's easy, I swear!
- July 29, 2008 at 9:48 PM
- hopeful #1 said...
Fupa, Dupa, Duppiddy do... I see the clerk's gunt looking at you...
GGGeeeewwww! Seriously, shouldn't someone kindly warn this person what she's bringing to the retail world... just all sorts of badness!
- July 30, 2008 at 12:54 PM
- Kim said...
Ann Taylor Loft has maternity stuff online now and I've loved everything that I have purchased. Gap Maternity is great, too.. but runs really big.
- July 31, 2008 at 6:12 PM
- Malloryn said...
That little muffin image cracks me up! Good luck finding some wearable maternity wear.
- August 1, 2008 at 9:12 AM
- sarah said...
Hey, when you don't post, we worry!
- August 2, 2008 at 1:23 PM
- Kim said...
Please visit my blog - I have something for you!
- August 3, 2008 at 1:29 AM
I'm looking at this pic of you and I think to myself...where is this fat girl she keeps talking about?? You are tiny, tiny, but with the cutest little baby bump EVER!!! So happy for you!
Jen S.
- August 8, 2008 at 7:09 PM
I'm going to go anon for this, because, well, I really do like you and don't want you to think of me as a horrible person who can't take a joke.
You aren't fat. You're pregnant.
I'm not pregnant. I'm fat.
I have PCOS and because of this am having the worst time getting pregnant AND the worst time losing weight. Hearing someone who is pregnant describing herself as fat is really very hurtful to me for a number of reasons. I know that your blog is not about me. It still hurts.
- August 21, 2008 at 10:58 AM


text:
Privacy &Legal Notice
June 2004
The Laboratory in the News
Commentary byWilliam H. Goldstein
Shocking Plutonium to Reveal Its Secrets
Strategic Supercomputing Comes of Age
A Bang-Up Job: Keeping Things Clean at the Contained Firing Facility
Seeing the Universe in a Grain of Dust
Patents and Awards
S&TR Staff
Diagnosing disease before symptoms
A new national security research initiative at the Laboratory aims
to rapidly diagnose infection one to two days after exposure to
a pathogen, rather than
waiting days to weeks for symptoms to appear. This approach to disease detection,
called "pathomics," is the focus of a multimillion-dollar Livermore
research effort that spans seven directorates and many disciplines. Pathomics
is, in effect, the study of the molecular basis of infectious disease. It focuses
on the changes in protein levels and other molecules that occur when a body has
been exposed to a pathogen.
"The premise
of pathomics is that before the onset of illness, there is a molecular indication
of disease in human blood," explains project co-leader Fred
Milanovich and founder of the Laboratory's Chemical and Biological National
Security Program. Faster disease detection, followed by more rapid treatment,
could help save the lives of people exposed to bioterrorist agents such as anthrax
and plague. Ken Turteltaub, who is also a project co-leader, says, "We
are focusing on the national security aspects of this technology. We want to
be able to move from the discovery of a disease signature to its use in the country's
national biodefense architecture."
So far, Laboratory researchers have identified four analytic techniques for pathomics
that together should provide nearly comprehensive measurements of the protein
and RNA content of blood samples.
Contact: Fred Milanovich (925) 422-6838 (email@example.com).
Discrepancies found in seismic hazard estimates
A five-year collaborative
research project initiated and directed by François
Heuze, a geotechnical engineer at Livermore, has determined that current methods
for estimating the ground-shaking effects of major earthquakes could underestimate
their severity. The results of this pioneering study of earthquake hazards at
three University of California (UC) campuses—Santa Barbara (UCSB), Riverside
(UCR), and San Diego (UCSD)—were reported in the April 2004 issue of Soil
Dynamics and Earthquake Engineering.
The researchers found
wide discrepancies between their own seismic hazard estimates for the three campuses
and those produced by current estimating techniques used
for designing new buildings and retrofitting existing buildings. "The biggest
weakness in the current state of the practice for seismic hazard assessment," says
Ralph Archuleta, professor of seismology at UCSB, "is that we have very
little data for very large earthquakes where the site is close to the causative
fault." UCSB, UCR, and UCSD all have major faults that are close to the
"A single estimate
of ground motion for a site is not appropriate," says
Heuze. "Even if you have a known fault and restrict your calculations to
a known magnitude, this fault could provide that magnitude in many different
fashions. Thus, the severity of the ground shock where you stand could vary widely." To
overcome this problem, the researchers placed several seismic monitoring stations
at each campus in boreholes up to 100 meters deep and collected data on
small earthquakes from local faults as well as regional seismic events. They
tested soil samples at various depths and simulated hundreds of possible earthquake
scenarios based on such variables as where a rupture might occur on the fault,
the path it might travel, and how fast it might move. Because the soil may not
behave in a linear fashion under very strong shaking, the researchers used nonlinear
soil dynamics computer models to calculate the surface ground motions created
by fault ruptures.
Contact: François Heuze (925) 423-0363 (email@example.com).
Measuring stratospheric ozone in the upper troposphere
A team of scientists
has identified a new method to measure the amount of stratospheric ozone that
is present at any given time in the upper troposphere. Working with
researchers from the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration, the University
of Colorado, the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, the National Center for Atmospheric
Research, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration's Ames Research
Center, and Harvard University, Livermore atmospheric scientists Cyndi Atherton
and Dan Bergmann successfully quantified ozone as it is transported from the
stratosphere down to the troposphere. The research is presented in the April
9, 2004, issue of Science.
Scientists within
Livermore's Atmospheric Science Division created a computer
model that can simulate how both ozone and hydrogen chloride (HCl) in the stratosphere
travel downward through the tropopause and into the upper troposphere. Atherton
and Bergmann used this model to simulate specific atmospheric events. These results,
when compared to measurements, validated a novel technique that uses HCl to better
understand the contribution of the stratosphere to upper-tropospheric ozone concentrations.
"This research shows that there are times when a significant amount of
the ozone found in the upper troposphere was due to stratosphere-to-troposphere
transport events," says Atherton. "Using this measurement method
will lead to a better understanding of how much of this material is transported
to the upper troposphere, where it affects climate and the chemical balance of
the atmosphere." Until now, no experimental technique could reliably quantify
stratospheric ozone in the upper troposphere.
Contact: Cyndi Atherton (925) 422-1825 (firstname.lastname@example.com) or Dan Bergmann (925)
423-6765 (firstname.lastname@example.com).
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text:
When we're having trouble in our marriage, we often begin looking outside for explanations for our behavior and to understand what is occurring with the diminishment of care and feelings for our spouse. The most important thing to do when keeping a marriage alive with passion is to embrace change and to seek out new skills to help your relationship grow in depth and maturity. This knowledge comes from becoming more self-aware of our needs and wants, but it also focuses on how better to understand, appreciate, accept, trust, and respect what makes our spouse feel loved based on their needs and wants as well.
We all want to be loved, and to be allowed to remain true to ourselves when we are in a marriage partnership. In the beginning, we fall in love with all the similarities of interest we share together. Hopefully, this also embodies our very human values of truth, honesty, and justice too. So what happens after the first few years of marriage when the novelty of being head over heels in love dissipates? If we encourage growth as individuals and add to our relationship skills to nurture and put effort into building up our relationship, then this fledgling me-centered love blossoms into a mature love that allows us to both: (1) grow as individuals, but also (2) form a bond to one another that deepens as we go through the ups and downs of life together. We do this by respecting and honoring one another, showing appreciation, and nurturing our need for romantic love and acceptance. How you do this is different for men and women, if you understand for example that women need more emotional support to feel loved /connected/not alone, and men need more affirmation to feel loved/respected/needed, then you're able to love the person in the way they need to be loved, rather than the way you want and think they should be loved.
Millions of people gravitate to John Gray, Ph.D. and his Mars Venus analogy that men and women use communication for different reasons. His work is credible, because he has counseled thousands of couples, synthesized research across the mental health and medical (diet, nutrition, physiology, neuroscience) fields to explain underlying trends that impact everything from our health, work satisfaction, and happiness. He focuses on gender intelligence, because inter and intrapersonal relationship health is what determines how well we are able to have it all—work satisfaction, keeping our marriages intact, and producing thriving children (despite previous learned dysfunction from our families of origin). John Gray asserts we're from different planets, but we're now here on Earth so we need to learn the other's dialect to stay connected. We often frame how we see the world based through our own lens of experience and knowledge first, before we become aware that other people interact within and view the world from a different perspective. When we try to force ourselves to focus on our similarities, then we run the risk of neglecting the part of us, the differences or opposites that may have attracted us to our spouse in the first place. Co-dependency and resentment could result, because we begin to think the other person does not get us, is neglecting us, because they are withdrawing when we want to connect, or connecting when we want to withdraw. In a healthy relationship there is room for dancing, for give and take, and keeping passions alive, by learning how to love our spouse in the way they want to be loved. The Mars/Venus analogy is appealing for two reasons as we strive to keep passion alive in our marriages:
(1) Once the Honeymoon's Over, The Differences Can Become the Source of Tension
These differences can make or break a marriage, depending on our understanding of what is happening. John Gray's material does not condone being more like your gender to the detriment of your relationships. The Mars/Venus analogy allows couples to honor their masculine and feminine traits, and use it as a way to better understand each other. While understanding the differences helps ease the tension, it is not the most important aspect of any relationship. However, the comic relief is refreshing as we tackle how better to love one another. Understanding gender differences neutralize one way is better than another. It aims to bring couples closer together so they can work on increasing their emotional intelligence, continue to bond and attach as a couple (without becoming co-dependent), and discover how their relationship beliefs and personality traits also factor in to the success and growth of their relationship. Passion builds over years of being together, of nurturing and appreciating how the other person being there for you makes life easier and richer.
Between 2 to 5 years into our marriages—if we aren't aware of the tendencies of why men communicate to predominantly solve problems and women communicate to connect to other people, then we can find ourselves resenting one another. As tensions crop up in our marriage just due to living life, men can increasingly withdraw into their work, or pursuits outside the marital relationship, as women increasingly attempt to talk issues out either at (notice I didn't say with) their husband, or look to others outside of their marriage to feel appreciated and loved.
(2) The Mars Venus Analogy is Light-Hearted & Easy For All People to Relate to and Understand
When relationships begin to fall apart it is serious business. Running to a professional, rather than facing it head on ourselves can decrease our self-confidence, and set us back, because talking often does not solve the problem, but rather reinforces it. Time may well be better spent learning and implementing new relational skills (conflict resolution, gender intelligence, emotional intelligence, stress and anger management, positive parenting) to alleviate symptoms in the present and for future success. Then follow-up maintenance of learning how to reframe our memories to offer forgiveness, and re-build trust may be useful. Mars Venus material lets you build upon your relationship, it does not see your relationship as needing to be fixed or failing, and it empowers you as the individual to take control and responsibility for creating a successful marriage based on your own solutions and strengths.
We may find ourselves having affairs, or cheating emotionally with someone other than our spouse, we may contemplate divorce, and we may separate our children from having a stable upbringing as well if we go through with divorce. We become afraid, we begin to panic, and the realization that our love is a place of stress instead of comfort is painful. John Gray uses his extensive experience of over 20 years as a marriage and family therapist and synthesizing research to explain the trends in a light-hearted way to take the sting out of the issues we are facing. Relationships are constantly in a state of evolution. We first have to recognize this is the case. If we don't the more we try to keep things the same, like questioning why it's so hard to hold onto the honeymoon phase, then the more they change.
It is not our similarities that keep us together, it's often recognizing, appreciating, and working with our gender differences that complement and deepen a long-term relationship. When we hold onto our core values, then the by-product is our ability to focus on the highest good both for ourselves, and our spouse. Our decisions are then made from a place of love, rather than denial, avoidance, hurt, sadness, fear, jealousy, embarrassment, or anger.
In his wide body of work at the heart of helping us to understand relationships John Gray's material addresses how to honor our inner values, and help make us congruent in our thoughts, feelings, and actions from the inside-out. He uses the Mars/Venus analogy as a way to notice that men and women are indeed different. If we can honor the masculine side in men and the feminine side in women, then we become more whole, more self-aware, and attuned to supporting our spouse, rather than trying to make them be more like us. It frees us from clinging to notions that are focused on dependence and independence, rather than interdependence.
Interdependence is a paradigm that focuses on we, and how to pool our talents and abilities to get a richer end result. We are in this together. When we cooperate our results are the very fabric of the human value of living in harmony and community. We understand that while independently we're true to our own selves and self-reliant, but when we come together we actively honor, appreciate, accept, and respect each other; which in turn makes us more capable of nurturing others without the dependent feelings of jealousy, resentment, fear, or anger.
Increasing Passion
Passion increases from being in a safe and embracing relationship. When the other person experiences you at your worst, and continues to love you anyway, it is in choosing to see the best in each other that affirms your potential, and gives you the safe space to grow individually and as part of a couple. This is how to live in unconditional love. This is what makes us thrive as humans.
(1) Focus on Rewarding Positive Behaviors
If it has gotten away from you, then show appreciation and gratitude out loud for what the other person is doing right in the relationship. Even if it is tiny at first, this re-focuses your attention back on your marriage and why you enjoyed being married in the first place.
(2) Provide a Safe Emotional Space
Create romance by taking time to re-visit dreams, to provide an emotional space that lets you both lower your guard down. Even if the disagreements tend to outweigh the agreements, continue to make love together. If you drop the ball on intimacy, pick it back up. Reaffirm and re-commit to one another that despite the current downward trend, you both want to stick it out together.
(3) Make Love Often Despite Disagreements
Commit to having quick liaisons whenever one person is in the mood, but also plan romantic evenings so you make time to learn what the other likes. Never say no to sex. In a healthy marriage there tends to be ten areas where couples choose to disagree, so if you're having a fight or disagreement it is not okay to withdraw physically. Set a date and time to work through the issue when you can both be more logical, but don't neglect your sex life. Half the battle will already be won, and passion will remain intact because you both know that your needs will be unconditionally met and you will not be turned down or away.
Lyndsay Katauskas, MEd
Mars Venus Coaching
Corporate Media Relations
This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.


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If you are a follower of Greek mythology, you may know that Greek gods were superior immortal exceptionally beautiful beings believed to have powers over controlling the world or some aspect of it. You probably also know that the Greek gods drank a lot of wine. Did anyone ever make a connection between the two? Resveratrol is a polyphenol compound found in red wine and grapes. It is said to promote longevity and offer a range of health benefits from promoting weight loss to combatting cancer. Could it help us achieve god-like status? You be the judge. Here are some of the benefits of resveratrol.
What Is Resveratrol?
Resveratrol is a powerful antioxidant produced by some plants as a natural defense against stresses of the environment and is theorized to be able to do the same for humans. Antioxidants are compounds which have been shown to neutralize free radicals which cause aging, cancer, and heart disease. Although Japanese knotweed tops the list of plants with the highest content of resveratrol, a large amount is found in the skin of grapes. Resveratrol protects the grapes against sun damage and fungi disease, making red wine, produced with the grapes, a source of the antioxidant, although in an albeit small amount.
Resveratrol and the French
Resveratrol is thought to be the cause of low rates of heart disease in France. Even with the French habits of smoking, coffee drinking, and the consumption of a high-fat diet, the incidence of heart disease remains low in the French population. The theory is that the resveratrol in the red wine the French consume counteracts the effects of poor health habits, and also contribute to the longevity of the French people.
How Does It Work?
Resveratrol helps to protect cell DNA and reverses the damage caused by free radicals leading to cancer, and aging.
- Skin Care
Research indicate that resveratrol can fight skin damage caused by UV light. A study publishes in the FASEB found that when directly applied to skin, resveratrol can protect against the effects of aging caused by sun exposure.
- Weight Loss
Scientific finding show that resveratrol can stimulate the production of adiponectin, which is a hormone throughout to fight obesity and insulin resistance. Animal based and test tube studies show that the compound can help to speed metabolism and slow down the formation of fat cells.
- Brain Health
A study published in the journal Neurology in 2015 showed that individuals suffering from mild to moderate Alzheimer's disease demonstrated small improvements in their self maintenance abilities after taken resveratrol supplements daily for a year.
- Cancer
A report from the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences reveal a number of studies suggesting that resveratrol may have anti cancer properties. A study on cell cultures revealed that resveratrol helped to slow the progression of breast cancer in its early stages, and prevented estrogen from reacting to DNA molecules and forming compounds associated with the beginnings of cancer.
Have you taken resveratrol or used it in your skin care products? Let us know what you think. Is resveratrol the new miracle antioxidant?


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- NGADM Round 1 Review -
The general melody you've got going on is a fine one; however, it basically rules the song. The entirety of this track uses the same melody over and over, and quite frankly the repetition is terrible. At 0:52 when the drums come in I expected a change, but...nothing; it was somewhat fuller, but just as flat. The song is unfortunately very weak because of this. The beat does not help the generic feel of the song, and keeps it on the same level for nearly all four minutes. While you lost major points here for that, your production was not bad, although your drums did sound a bit choked. I think with even some simple variation in melody, this track could be significantly improved.
Score: 5
This is an NGADM Round 1 review.
Like always, your sounds are well-chosen, and you've got great production here. Apart from that, there's the classic EDM buildup leading to 0:52 which was well-executed (along with a sweet drum fill that was even used later in the track to round it up nicely), and I like that you put a twist on it by introducing an even more powerful part at 1:22 when generally people just build up to one powerful part and leave it at that. Great effect to transition with at 1:52, by the way. This is all solid, well-produced stuff, and the main hook is decently catchy too.
But dammit man, it has happened again! This is too repetitive; your audition was great (even better than this I think) but it was too repetitive, making you miss the top 64 by a scrape, and here the repetition is even more present. I understand that repetition is almost a key factor in this genre, as it's made to really engrave the hook into your head, but it really maximises the predictability of this track, and dumbs it down a little too. I think it's perfectly possible to stick a melody into someone's head without repeating it to no end in the track. Also, the track can get a bit generic at times. While I think you chose your sounds nicely, some more unique-sounding synths could really take this track places.
Anyway, the repetition is a huge problem because if it wasn't for that and a few other minor issues I have that aren't really worth mentionioning, this would've been a solid track. You get bonus points for your production skills though!
Score: 7.2/10
this was pretty radical, not gonna lie.
felt like the drop was very good, nice job dude!
Thanks a lot, bro!
This is the best song I've heard on NG in a while. Great Job
Thanks, that means a lot to me :)
Please contact me if you would like to use this in a project. We can discuss the details.


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Ratedfor mature thematic elements including substance abuse/recovery, some sexual situations, language and brief violence
Director: Mimi Leder
Genre: Drama, Romance
Genre: Drama, Romance
Writers: Catherine Ryan Hyde, Leslie Dixon
Synopsis: Like some other kids, 12-year-old Trevor McKinney believed in the goodness of human nature. Like many other kids, he was determined to change the world for the better. Unlike most other kids, he succeeded.
- Kevin SpaceyEugene Simonet
- Helen HuntArlene McKinney
- Haley Joel OsmentTrevor McKinney
- Jay MohrChris Chandler
- Jim CaviezelJerry
- Jon Bon JoviRicky McKinney
- Angie DickinsonGrace
- David RamseySidney Parker
- Gary WerntzMr. Thorsen
- Colleen FlynnWoman on Bridge
Photo Galleries
- Haley Joel Osment199 Pictures


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According to VentureBeat, Disney will be launching a 'Disney Accelerator' incubator program in partnership with TechStars, with the goal of training and funding 10 early-stage consumer and entertainment startups each quarter. Startups will receive $120,000 in investment capital, as well as access to Disney's vast library of intellectual property, including all stories and characters across the company's 90 year history.
Of course, startups who choose to take advantage of Disney-themes aren't just limited to Mickey Mouse; Disney's vast portfolio of media holdings include ESPN (sports apps!), LucasFilm (Star Wars apps!), ABC (news apps!), Pixar and Marvel Entertainment.
Can I say now that I hope we see more than just 'apps' from this accelerator?
Disney also has a proven partner in TechStars, which runs the accelerator programs of Nike, Sprint and Barclays Capital. Disney's senior vice president of innovation Michael Abrams will lead the program, which will be based in Los Angeles.
Applications are due April 16, and the program's website is headlined by a giant photo of Yoda next to his one syntactically correct quote: "Do or do not. There is no try."


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In our house, the best part of Thanksgiving is the leftovers.
Now, I don't dislike the big Thanksgiving meal or the smell of roasting turkey consuming the house to fuel my appetite all day in anticipation. Our holiday family meals are elaborate but relaxed, and we have something for everyone. The conversation ping pongs around the table and laughter is always erupting from jokes, light ribbing and funny stories.
We are traditionalists; turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce (both the smooth canned version and the chunky homemade one), sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, carrots, peas, green beans, bread, pumpkin pie, pecan pie (copious whipped cream) and coffee. And the traditional Thanksgiving turkey hangover is ours.
Hours later, I somehow forget that I just ate like it was my last meal when that lovely turkey is calling me from the refrigerator. A leftover turkey sandwich is the one thing that will erase all thought of being stuffed five hours earlier.
I am a believer that Friday morning shopping holds promise with a perfect breakfast of toasted bread, turkey, mayonnaise, cranberry sauce and lettuce. One year we were on a family Thanksgiving cruise and I was denied my sandwich on Friday. It was a silly longing that lasted all day before turning into a turkey soup longing.
My parents long ago instituted a tradition of using every last bit of leftovers, even after we were full of sandwiches. So they cooked Julia Child's Curried Turkey Soup with the last bits of meat and a rich wonderful stock from the turkey carcass. It would last through Sunday evening, and my mother did not have to cook all weekend long. I never understood the brilliance of the soup until years later when I cooked it and actually read the recipe. It was brilliant: the mashed potatoes are used to thicken the stock, the leftover vegetables add color and flavor and the last bits of meat pepper the soup with sustenance.
Recipe: Caramel
Recipe: Pumpkin Flan
Recipe: Julia Child's Poultry Stock
Recipe: Julia Child's Curried Turkey Soup
Recipe: Sweet Potato, Balsamic Onion and Soppressata Pizza
The stock for the soup is very easy to make and the ingredients to make it are pantry staples. If you don't have mashed potatoes to thicken the soup, flour will do the job nicely. The turkey stock will produce four cups more than you need for the soup; you can freeze and use it later. The soup is hearty, flavorful and fragrant. We eat the soup with leftover bread toasts and a salad to make a light meal.
What about all those other leftovers? Mash any baked sweet potatoes and make a lunch of Sweet Potato, Balsamic Onion and Soppressata Pizza (soppressata is dry Italian salami). It sounds like an odd combination but, trust me, the pairings of flavor are perfect. Two cups of real sweet potato mashed and spread on the store-bought pizza crust work best. Canned sweet potato will work, but sweetened canned ones do not.
The pizza is a great appetizer if you have last-minute company dropping by on the holiday weekend.
What about that can of pumpkin left in your pantry? Make a pumpkin flan. The recipe is foolproof. Even the caramel method is a no-brainer. It is a great dessert for any of the fall and winter months. Keep the can of pumpkin until Christmas and make it for dessert. It is smooth, flavorful, easy to make and makes a stunning presentation. The recipe is my mother's, the consummate baker. Inverting it on the platter is the most stressful part of the recipe.
Being thankful for family, friends, health and home is a given on Thanksgiving.
Also be thankful for leftovers, as they will bless you through the weekend. And so will your family.
Lisa Waas' passion for all things culinary fuels her writing. She lives in Fernandina Beach and uses her friends and family as her culinary guinea pigs. You can reach her on facebook as The Inquisitive Cook or at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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TubeSock 3.0.0b19
by Riick
Rip. Mix. Copy to iPod.
License: Shareware
Updated October 25, 2009
weekly downloads
11,035 total downloads
Long Description
To view and download a video, simply paste the YouTube URL (or video ID) into the text field and click "Preview".
To integrate TubeSock with Safari, select "Integrate with Safari" from the application menu. Then, whenever you are viewing a YouTube video you want to move to your iPod, just click the link.
Works with:
- Safari: 3 – 4
Advanced Details
Version 3.0.0b19 — October 25, 2009 — 4,794 KB


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best of office weekend roundup 48
Haha this is funny. Cubicle Napping on Cubicle Bot
Read about these new elevators that are programmed to favor certain people on Cubicle Bot
A sneaky and stylish way to use old yard sticks on the Well Appointed Desk
I love the inside of machines! This one is inside a calculator. On Junk Culture
Mmm chocolate pencils with a pencil sharpener = chocolate shavings. From the Rad and Hungry Blog
Beautiful Tombow Color Pencil Collection on The Rad and Hungry Blog
I love good cord organization – on Well Appointed Desk
Fun Post-it Beard! On Belgian Waffling
I like this shredder design on Design Boom
10 things not to say at work on OS for Less
12 things to bring to an interview on Jobacle
I've been in Michigan/driving all week but I'll be back and more fun next week I promise. Have a great weekend!


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The Record name has always been a guarantee of both quality and performance and in the case of Record EPS this has never been more true.
Extreme lightweight construction combined with industry leading electronics and motors it is nearly impossible to find a higher performing drivetrain.
Sophisticated machinery, waterproof construction, high-torque motors and precision engineering make it lightning fast and reliable in all conditions.
Such sturdy and sound construction allows you to take on any cross race with the knowledge that the same precise, lightning quick and reliable shifting that has won some of the most famous races on the road can be counted during even the muddiest Cyclocross race.