text: ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6635363/1/When_In_Doubt_Obliviate When In Doubt, Obliviate]]'' is a Franchise/HarryPotter fanfic by [[http://www.fanfiction.net/u/674180/Sarah1281 Sarah1281]] (author of the entertaining ''Fanfic/OhGodNotAgain'') where in [[ForWantOfANail Harry Potter is adopted and raised]] by Gilderoy Lockhart. Harry gets a magical upbringing and Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived; everyone wins!Well written and hilarious, this story is currently complete and comes [[FanficRecs/HarryPotterForWantOfANail highly recommended]].----!!This fanfic provides examples of:* AdultsAreUseless: Averted. Harry and company fetch Lockhart to go with them into the third floor corridor.** The method of disposing of the horcrux diary is to leave it to Dumbledore who then destroyed it.** PoliceAreUseless: Also averted. It was a team of Aurors that took down the basilisk.* AdultFear: Minerva [=McGonagall=] points out to Dumbledore that putting an infant Harry on a doorstep without sufficient protection and tracking charms is a surefire way for someone (like Lockhart) to kidnap him unawares. * AgonyOfTheFeet: Why you should never be in the same room as [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy drunk Gilderoy Lockhart]] and a bowling ball at the same time. Poor Snape.* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: Ron has declared that Snape is "Pure Evil":--> '''Neville''': "Funny. And here I thought that label was reserved for the Dark Lord and people who use muggle pesticides."* BenevolentGenie / JackassGenie / LiteralGenie: Harry, Lupin, Sirius and Lockhart have a discussion (prompted by [[JackassGenie Kreacher's behaviour]]) about the different types of genies; they even uses the trope name for two of them (they call the JackassGenie a Malevolent Genie).* BlackWidow: Blaise's mother; interestingly we get to see what sort of effect that has on him.* BlatantLies: Most of what Lockhart says. * BrainBleach: Mentioned by name.* ButtMonkey: Poor Moaning Myrtle; she ends up [[spoiler: being attacked by the basilisk twice, killed the first time and petrified the second]]. * CassandraTruth: Lampshaded. After Gilderoy Lockhart complained that Sirius believed that Lockhart had erased his memory before taking him to St. Mungo's that fateful Halloween night, Harry commented that it was the truth.-->'''Lockhart''': "That just makes it worse. Still, at least no one else seems to believe it."-->'''Harry''': "I think it's the way he's phrasing it, really. It makes him sound like it's just a conspiracy theory."-->'''Lockhart''': "I've never tried the whole Cassandra Truth but it's really working for me."* ChekhovsGag: In chapter 2, Sirius plans to make every member of the Order of the Phoenix a Portkey to St. Mungo's; Lupin and Dumbledore figures he needs a hobby. In chapter 7, it turns out that he succeeded and that [[spoiler: Neville's parents are fine in this story because they had their Portkeys when the Lestranges and company attacked]].* ConspiracyTheorist: Theodore Nott.** [[TheCloudcuckoolanderWasRight The Conspiracy Theorist Was Right]]: After the announcement that a troll was loose in the school, Theodore theorized:--> "Considering that the only things in the dungeon are Snape's classroom and office and the Slytherin Common Room, why was [Quirrell] even in the dungeon in the first place? I bet he let the troll in in the first place."* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: A conversation between them about Harry not taking his school rivalry with Zacharias seriously sounds an awful lot like an argument from a romantic relationship on the rocks:--> '''Zacharias''': "When was the last time you even spoke to me?" --> '''Harry''': "Maybe October?"--> '''Zacharias''': "Maybe October? *''Looks up to sky''* Do you see what I have to put up with?"--> '''Harry''': "Who are you talking to? Is it me? Because I don't really-"--> '''Zacharias''': "Oh, never mind; why are you ignoring me?"--> '''Harry''': "It's been awhile so I'm not sure, but didn't we already have the talk about how I can't possibly be ignoring you while I'm talking to you?"--> '''Zacharias''': "Yes, we did, but you haven't sought me out in ages!"--> '''Harry''': "I have never sought you out."--> '''Zacharias''': "And that's another thing!...I shouldn't always be the one who has to do the seeking out. That doesn't really put us on equal footing, does it? It makes it seem like you have better things to do while I don't."--> '''Harry''': "Well, when you put it that way-" --> '''Zacharias''': "And it's really not fair! Why do you never seek me out? Do you enjoy making me do all the work?"--> '''Harry''': "I really don't; why would I seek you out? All you ever do is yell at me that I'm not paying enough attention to you!"--> '''Zacharias''': "Well, you're not."--> '''Harry''': "I talk to you whenever you're around."--> '''Zacharias''': "It's not enough."--> '''Harry''': "Fine, I'll play along. Just what do you want from me that I'm not giving you?"--> '''Zacharias''': "I want...I want someone who glares at me when he happens to meet my eyes. I want someone who calls me by my last name. I want someone who might hex me in the hallway just because or who I could hex with people thinking I'm an ass. I want someone to laugh at all of my failures and try to downplay my victories so that I might do the same to them. I want someone whose friends I can hate and who will hate all of my friends. I want someone that no one but Snape would think of partnering me with for a project because it will just cause problems. I was a rival. Is that really so much to ask?"--> '''Harry''': "I-I guess not, but only if the other party wants that, too, and I'd really hoped you would have understood by now, Zacharias, that that's not what I want."* DotingParent: For all his faults, and his less than selfless reasons for taking him in originally, Lockhart is actually a good father figure.* EveryoneHasStandards: Lockhart will memory wipe you and take credit for your achievements but seducing a student (legal or not) is "morally bankrupt".** Also, "Not France!"* FateWorseThanDeath: For the Slytherins, having "Gryffindor detentions" (which are apparently worse than being forced to scrub cauldrons).* ForWantOfANail: Lockhart happens to meet Sirius the night Harry's parents are killed and finds out where Harry is before Obliviating him and taking him to St. Mungo's. Events proceed from there.** To explain, if Lockhart hadn't encountered Sirius, then [[spoiler: Sirius would've been wrongfully framed for multiple murder and locked away in Azkaban with no trial, while the real culprit (who was caught in this story) would walk around free]].** Also, since [[spoiler:Sirius was acquitted]], he provided his allies with emergency portkeys (fearing that they would be targeted by Death Eaters), which the Longbottoms used to escape from Bellatrix LeStrange. With his parents intact and healthy, Neville grows up to be a confident and self-assured man.* [[FriendlyEnemies Friendly Rivals]]: Hermione and Daphne Greengrass; so friendly in fact that the only reason they are rivals in the first place is that they agreed to be rivals so not to get caught up in the antics of being in a real rivalry.* GenreSavvy: Pansy Parkinson.* HeartIsAnAwesomePower: You might think that Obliviate is a spell with extremely limited use, but get it in quick enough on an opponent and they'll be knocked out cold. As [[spoiler:Quirrelmort]] found out the hard way. Add that Lockhart is a master of the spell and very intelligent besides, and you have an opponent you'll regret underestimating.* HypocriticalHumour: When faced with the Devil's Snare, Neville proceeds to set it alight in revenge for it trying to kill him. Ron points out that it's a ''plant''. Hermione points out that the fire should be extinguished (being a magical fire) so that they don't come back to an inferno. Neville agrees figuring that the plant should be dead or at least too afraid to attack them when they come back:--> '''Ron''': "Unless it wants bloody vengeance, too."--> '''Neville''': "Please, Ron. It's a plant."* ImmediateSelfContradiction: During the Sorting Hat's song:-->'''[[TheRival Zacharias]]:''' Why is that hat singing? Hats should not sing.-->'''Harry:''' I'm with you.-->'''Zacharias:''' It's a lovely and time-honored tradition, you heathen.* InSpiteOfANail: Harry and Lockhart [[spoiler: stop Voldemort in front of the Mirror of Erised but the Chamber of Secrets still gets opened]]. * KillItWithFire: The Devil's Snare.* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:--> '''Harry''': "Well, you know how Snape and my mother used to be close friends?"--> '''Daphne''': "I'm pretty sure that there are Muggles who have heard this by now."* ManChild: Sirius. Despite being in his 30's (not that he'll admit it), if forced to go into a book store, he will go to the children's section and read in order to amuse himself and was up at four on Christmas morning in order to open presents.* MistakenForGay: The other students theorize that when Zacharias Smith and Ernie [=MacMillan=] were caught in the Trophy Room at midnight that they wanted "a little alone time" (they were actually waiting for Harry and Draco to show up for a duel).** And, apparently, some of the adults gossip about how close Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are.* MisterExposition: Theodore Nott.* MoralityPet: Harry is this for Lockhart. * [[HumansAreBastards Muggles Are Bastards]] / [[HumansAreWarriors Muggles Are Warriors]]: According to Quirrell in his Muggle Studies class.* MugglesDoItBetter: The first items that Harry buys for Hogwarts are ordinary school supplies (i.e. notebooks, pens, etc.) instead of the Wizarding worlds' parchment and quills.* NoPeriodsPeriod: Averted.* ObfuscatingStupidity: Lockhart comes across as shallow and superficial, but is actually pretty intelligent and cunning, such as when:** He out argues Dumbledore in the legality surrounding how Harry should have been raised.** He's made a successful career despite being a muggleborn and only being very good at one spell (memory modification) and decent at glamour spells.** He was a Ravenclaw and therefore had to solve a riddle every time he wanted to enter his dorms and knows all about King Hedwig from off the top of his head.** He is very good at deducing facts and thought of looking up the Dursley's address in the phonebook; something that no other wizard in the series had thought to do.* PapaWolf: When Dumbledore tries to retrieve Harry and put him with the Dursley's, Lockhart makes the old man back off by presenting a very good legal argument as to why it wasn't a good idea to place Harry with people who hate magic, and why Dumbledore's attempts to put Harry in the Dursley's care will fail.* PolitenessJudo: How Harry deals with Zacharias Smith.* RunningGag: Other characters wondering how Snape manages to make his robes whip around him dramatically when he enters.** Blaise can't remember the name of his current stepfather. Taken UpToEleven in the last chapter when this conversation occurs: --> '''Blaise''': "Do any of you guys know a Peter? I got a letter this morning saying that he died so, if you do, sorry. Unless you didn't like him in which case, public sorry and private congratulations."--> '''Tracy''': "Peter was your stepfather."--> '''Draco''': "How much of our conversation were you listening to?"--> '''Tracy''': "I don't actually care about your conversation, Draco, I just sensed that Blaise was having trouble keeping track of his various stepfathers again."--> '''Blaise''': "Is it that time of year already?"--> '''Pansy''': "There is no way that your stepfathers meet you before the wedding."--> '''Blaise''': "They don't always meet me afterwards."* ScrewTheRulesIHaveSupernaturalPowers: Lockhart; the powers being a very powerful memory charm.** ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful* SecretKeeper: Only Harry knows the real reason why Lockhart is so successful.* SeinfeldianConversation: Happens all the time, especially with the Slytherins. Apparently Draco walking in covered in blood and chicken feathers isn't enough to stop a discussion about whether or not [[Theatre/WaitingForGodot Godot may have shown up after the play ended]], or what it had to do with ''LiveActionTv/QuantumLeap''. (He's actually a bit upset to be ignored like that.)* TakeThat: To the {{Twilight}} series in chapter 25. We get a description of a book that sounds suspiciously like {{Twilight}} if a few details were swapped. Also, Hermione finds them sexist.--> "... this is a romance series so the other part is just mushy and angsty drivel." * ThatManIsDead: "Far from being seen as the barely competent Muggleborn he had gone to Hogwarts as, people looked at him and saw a heroic and legendary celebrity with a killer smile and a mysterious past."* TheTalk: Lockhart had an interesting one with Harry:--> "Now Harry, I know you might have urges and think that you know what you're doing but every child you have is a huge financial burden so make absolutely sure that you want them and don't just have them by accident. And remember that the wizarding public will judge you for everything you do and quite a bit that you won't do so please wait until you're married to reproduce and definitely wait until you're twenty. Remember, anything you do reflects on me as well."* TheTeetotaler: Lockhart usually; he doesn't like the taste and doesn't want to give away the secret to his success or act like an idiot. ** INeedAFreakingDrink: In order to deal with Christmas with Sirius (and his hostility).** IntoxicationEnsues: The problem with his not drinking is that Lockhart kind of sucks at it. And that led to [[MakesSenseInContext Snape getting his feet smashed with a bowling ball]].* TheUnfettered: "… a complete and utter lack of regard for trifles like 'truth' and 'integrity', and memory charms were really the secret to all of Gilderoy's not inconsiderable success."* UnusuallyUninterestingSight: Draco [[spoiler: covered in blood and chicken feathers]]. The Slytherins continue their conversation when he enters and still don't mention it until he points it out.* WhatMeasureIsANonHuman: No one is concerned over the fact that the troll at Hallowe'en was killed; they only worry about [[spoiler: Pansy because she reduced its [[OverKill head to pulp by smashing its club into it about a dozen times]]]].** While under the 3rd floor corridor and Ron [[spoiler: kills the troll in the same way Pansy did]], he wonders if he'll get into the newspaper too. Only Hermione points out that a troll is still a living creature.* [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer When All You Have Is A Memory Charm]]: And yet, it's surprisingly effective; [[spoiler: it works on trolls and Dark Lords]].* [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes Why Did It Have To Be Birds?]]: Poor Hermione.* WithAllDueRespect: "Professor, by the time that anyone knew that I had been facing the troll it was already dead and so it's perfectly reasonable for my father not to be too worried about something that didn't happen after the fact."* WorldOfSnark----


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Before hiring a court reporting firm on your subsequent deposition, these are 8 key factors which one should consider. While this list is not exhaustive, it covers the basics so that one can select the best feasible court reporter.
1. Ensure they send pleasant court reporters
This one is self-explanatory. You need the best court reporter for your depositions; right? But beyond the minimum qualification of a CSR license, what else should you be seeking out?
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subset: commoncrawl


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Posted by 1206SWMO on October 18, 2012 at 19:25:24 from (188.8.131.52):
In Reply to: Two UDLX MM's Sell Saturday In Oklahoma posted by 1206SWMO on October 18, 2012 at 19:19:40:
Well,I guess its an online auction only..I still like the old fashioned way of being there to bid..
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TRADEMARK DISCLAIMER: Tradenames and Trademarks referred to within Yesterday's Tractor Co. products and within the Yesterday's Tractor Co. websites are the property of their respective trademark holders. None of these trademark holders are affiliated with Yesterday's Tractor Co., our products, or our website nor are we sponsored by them. John Deere and its logos are the registered trademarks of the John Deere Corporation. Agco, Agco Allis, White, Massey Ferguson and their logos are the registered trademarks of AGCO Corporation. Case, Case-IH, Farmall, International Harvester, New Holland and their logos are registered trademarks of CNH Global N.V.


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1. The Christian faith has been the voice for the sanctity of life in western culture for over 2000 years. Today we live in a post-Christian culture. This means that we can no longer appeal to our faith to inform our culture regarding politics and law. In a pluralistic society it is better if we rely on natural law (human conscience) when crafting our appeal to culture.
Answer: FALSE - If this were true then Greek, Roman, Germanic and Celtic culture would never have embraced a sanctity of life ethos. The light shines the brightest in the midst of darkness. It is in times like these that truth must confront evil. The Church, the Body of Christ, must, by example, be the primary means to form the consciences of nations regarding the moral demands of God The culture of life as expressed through our Christian faith is exactly what is required of God's people in a post-Christian culture.
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2001). (Mt 5:13–16). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.
2. Do you believe that human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of his/her conception or earliest biological beginning? Even in cases where the mother's life is in physical danger? (Conception being defined as the first moment of human existence, the moment the human zygote has formed.)
Answer: YES - The medical association of Ireland, one of the countries who has the highest "safe birth" ratings in the world, have stated that due to the advancement of medical knowledge there is no medical condition that requires abortion. Two decades ago there was only one means of creating a human life, today, there are over 30 unique ways to create a human being. Regardless of our manner of conception each human life is created by God in His image (imago dei) and therefore has certain inalienable rights. Government is called upon to recognize and defend these rights. Because these rights come from our Creator, government can never be allowed to define or abridge these rights without incurring the just judgment of God.
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life . . ."
3. From the time that the ovum is fertilized, a new life is begun which is neither that of the father or of the mother: it is rather the life of a new human being with its own growth and unique genetic fingerprint?
|Answer: TRUE - Once fertilized he or she is called a zygote at this stage, until reaching the uterus 3-4 days later. Forty-six chromosomes combine, which predetermine all of a person's physical characteristics. All that is necessary for a successful birth is time, nutrition and a protective environment.
4. From the first moment of his/her existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person – among which in the first place is the inviolable right of every innocent human being to life?
|Answer: YES - Personhood must be classified as an inalienable right conferred by God and not by government. The personhood of the preborn has already been established by God; now Personhood can and must be recognized by government as a superior right. The root problem of abortion is that too many women see the child in the womb as nothing more than a blob of reproductive tissue. We need to focus on the fact that they are terminating the life of a young person who has rights and who is owed certain inalienable rights under our laws. It begins with each of us recognizing the Personhood of every unborn child.
|5. The ultimate goal of the modern pro-life movement is, and has always been _________
Answer: In 1985, Dr. Willke, founder and former president of National Right to Life explained that "the ultimate prolife goal is quite direct and very simple. Pro-lifers want an amendment to the U.S. Constitution. . .that will give equal protection under the law, to all living humans from the time their biologic life begins at fertilization until natural death. . .the intermediate goal . . .is a Constitutional Amendment returning the right to make decisions about abortion to each individual state." (from his book Love Them Both) It appears that the intermediate goal is now the pursuit of Personhood at the state level.
|6. As a matter of policy the pro-life movment has only allowed for abortion in cases of rape, incest or only when the physical life of the mother is threatened.
|Answer: FALSE - As a matter of policy, the pro-life movement has NEVER allowed abortions for rape, incest, and the life of the mother. Current strategy allows for it. It has become a matter of pragmatism that the pro-life movement has been willing to sacrifice babies conceived in rape or incest in order to get laws passed that supposedly are pro-life. As a matter of principle, it is not a pro-life law if one class of persons is singled out as not having the right to life under that law. The Law of Non-Contradiction asserts that one's strategy must never undermine one's policy.
|7. Pro-life candidates who support abortion only in cases of rape, incest or the physical life of the mother ____________
Answer: Candidates who are "pro-life with exceptions" are NOT pro-life. We can infer that they are willing to sacrifice a whole class of people (those conceived in rape or incest.) This is not a principled pro-life stand. It is compromise. These candidates would be surprised to learn that "they are really pro-abortion with certain exceptions for life." (Jill Stanek) In 1977, the Hyde Amendment damaged the very fabric of the pro-life movement. In the ensuing years, over 54 million children have died. By supporting candidates who are "pro-life with exceptions," we have paid a terrible price by straying from our foundational principle of Personhood.
8. When it is not possible to overturn or completely abrogate a pro-death law, it would be morally acceptable (licit) for an elected official, whose absolute personal support for the defense of the sanctity of life is well known, to support proposals aimed at limiting the harm done by such a law and lessening its negative consequences at the level of general opinion and public morality, as long as, such a law does not explicitly identify a class of human life that can legally be killed?
Answer: TRUE - For an in depth article about this please read "Incrementalism vs. Immediatism"—Strategy of the National Personhood Alliance by clicking on this link: http://preview.tinyurl.com/pqodqfh
|9. Which of the following issues have been cited by Christian bio-ethicists as being issues of grave concern facing the pro-life movement in the 21st century?
|Answer: ALL of the Above - Professor Michael Sleasman, managing director and research scholar for The Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity, explains that "while many of the ethical questions of the late 20th century dealt with the bio-ethical concerns over the beginning and end of life issues (the making, and the taking of human life,) the questions raised by these new emerging technologies threaten to change the nature of the human species and the very essence of what it means to be human." Germ-line intervention, transhuman enhancement, designer babies, cyborgs, chimeras—these are all an attempt to advance the human species by human means by a culture that rejects the absolute truth that God created humanity in His own image. Personhood is the only public policy that assures the protection of what it means to be human.
10.During the previous generation there have been over forty years of abortion on demand. Do you believe that this generation of Americans can end abortion?
Answer: YES! If this generation of Americans returns to First Principles in Politics and follows Personhood as its Roadmap, then this generation could end abortion. Nothing has proven to be more pragmatic than taking the principled stand for Life!


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Time to set up the tent
By Chuck Kajer
In recent weeks I've made a couple of references in my column to a recurring theme in my life.
It is a fact - proven time and again - that when I go camping, it rains. It happened last month when I joined my wife on a camping trip. The first weekend, after she and the boys had two sunny days, I met them on Saturday and within a few hours, while we were at the park's visitor's center, we were greeted by a downpour. I returned home and watched radar showing a big storm heading toward the park, but veering off to the north, keeping Jenny and the boys dry.


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You love Instagram Stories on your Apple iPhone, iPad and Android devices right?
But, when you go to your desktop computer and browse over to Instagram, there are no Instagram Stories that display above your Instagram feed.
What gives?
Well, Instagram has always brought new features to their smartphone app first, then maybe to the desktop web browser version of Instagram. Maybe.
So, who knows when they'll bring Instagram Stories to the web browser. Probably not for a while, if ever.
But, never fear, there's a solution NOW, and it works just fine, thank you very much.
If you want to view Instagram Stories on your desktop computer, whether it's a Windows PC or Apple iMac, start using the Chrome web browser if you haven't already.
Then, head over to the Chrome Web Store and download and install the Chrome IG Stories Extension by Alec Garcia.
Not only will you be able to view Instagram Stories at the top of your Instagram feed, if a story is a video, you can save it to your computer by right-clicking on the video and select Save Video As….
Or just right-click on the Story icon at the top of the feed and you'll be able to download the complete Story for the current time period in a zip file. Pretty cool.
That's it! Have fun!


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About The AuthorBy
Hi my name is Scott Gray. I am a freelance writer and web site publisher. Back in 1997 I was diagnosed with a medical condition that would not allow me to continue my mechanical career. I am a commercial transport mechanic by trade and this heavy type of work was not recommended by my doctors so I new that I would need to find some other way of supporting my family. In March 2004 I launched my web site publishing career and have never looked back.
As the Internet and computers grew I found myself having an interest in how they work, the information and the benefits they can have on peoples lives. One thing that discouraged me was the lack of quality informational web sites.
With my interest in the Internet I said to myself that this might be a great opportunity for me to help people find information they are looking for without spending hours looking for it. That's when I decide to create quality informational web sites on wide range of topics that I have interest in.
I have an interest in home improvement and gardening thats why I decided to build a web site on planter and container gardening. Gardening with planters can be a very exciting thing to do. Watching you garden grow is a fun and it gives you something to look forward to. I would like to pass on my experiences to you and knowledge.
I hope you find the site informational and helpful.


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Good Question: Preschool Birthday Party Gifts
Freya sent us an email: "My daughter is three and has started preschool. She is now being invited to birthday parties ALL THE TIME.
Is there a standard every-kid-loves-this gift you recommend that won't break the bank and will be easy to buy?"
Link To All Good Questions
As the parent of a 3-year-old also, I can certainly empathize! For us, our standard was always a nice book. You can usually buy one or two for under $15 -- and who doesn't like books? Our favorite is , and of course, the Richard Scarry's Best Storybook Ever and A Treasury of Curious George.
Our favorites are And to make the gift a bit more personal, we always make sure that our son "designs" the birthday card for the celebrate. You'd be surprised how a little glue and construction paper can go a long way.
Any other gift recommendations for Freya?
Photo via Tony Romas.


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How to create a toddler calm down corner for when your child needs to self soothe. Some kids need a place to be quiet, angry, and sad.
I really need G to be happy about taking these calm down times because he needs to learn to self soothe so I am hoping this corner would allow him to go into it when HE needs to calm himself down... or when I need him to calm down and prompt him. I think we've figured out that too much visual stimulation can rev him up so the tent should allow us to narrow down how much visual he's getting. My in-laws got him this B. TeePee Tent - SEA Color (Blue) for Christmas so it's perfect. They have a raspberry one too, but I think the blue/purple is likely to be more calming. There's this cool lamp inside the tent that plays colors on the top of the tent if you turn it on... they seem mesmerizing/calming so we're going to keep that in there.
I'm hoping this corner will help remind me too that he's not being bad, but rather just is having a hard time calming down and that he needs assistance at this time, at least until he learns to do it on his own. I may have to go sit in there sometimes too! Ha.
I'm also working on some calm down bottles to put in there. I'll post those when I'm done.
Here's the tent setup on our main level where he has the most breakdowns. I put his toddler floor pillow inside and four books I thought would be good. I figured I can read to him or let him read during those times. Certain books get him really hyped up so I tried to pick out good ones that don't, and that also pertain to feelings or hyper behavior.
- Where the Wild Things Are
- Suppose You Meet a Dinosaur: A First Book of Manners
- The Way I Feel
- When I'm Feeling Sad


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Seasonal depression, also known as winter depression, Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD, or Major Depression With a Seasonal Pattern, is a type of mood disorder which occurs primarily during the fall and winter months when people may be exposed to less sunlight during the day.

A lack of adequate light exposure can disrupt the body's circadian rhythms. Light enters through the eye (whether eyes are closed during sleep, or open), activating the pineal gland an, influencing the production of a hormone called melatonin. Melatonin may, in turn, affect mood-regulating neurotransmitters like serotonin, leading to depression, daytime fatigue, and food cravings.

A dawn simulator, basically a lamp with a rheostat which tries to mimic the gradual increase in light intensity that occurs at dawn, may relieve this type of depression by artificially lengthening the day, making your body believe it is a sunny summer day when dawn occurs at an earlier hour.

A dawn simulator is more convenient than a light box. You set a dawn simulator to come on at a specified amount of time prior to when you wish to wake up. Its light gradually intensifies; and, at the time you want to awaken, it should be at its peak intensity, causing melatonin production to shut off and waking you up. Treatment occurs while you are sleeping, so, it's almost like putting the treatment on autopilot with a minimal amount of fuss on your part. But, can it really help relieve depression?

Although dawn simulation has not been researched as much as light box therapy, which is considered to be the gold standard when it comes to treating seasonal depression, studies indicate that it may help many people, allowing them to wake up more easily and have better mood and energy.

According to the Center for Environmental Therapeutics, you will want to ensure that any dawn simulator that you buy meets the following specifications:

Both light level and timing are adjustable so you can change settings to suit your individual needs.

Color temperature is within the same range as natural light.

The specified distance that you need to be from the device to get a particular intensity of light should be practical for use.

The device is UL approved.

It filters out harmful UV radiation.

It has undergone testing for effectiveness.

Sources:

"Light Therapies for Depression." PsychEducation.org. James R. Phelps, M.D. Updated: October 2015.

Rosenthal, Norman E. Winter Blues: Everything You Need to Beat Seasonal Affective Disorder. Fourth Edition. New York: Guilford Press, 2013.

Ulbricht, Catherine. "Feeling SAD This Season?" Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC. Published: January 10, 2012.

"What to Look for in Dawn Simulators: A Buying Guide." Center for Environmental Therapeautics. Center for Environmental Therapeautics.


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Web site by John A. Byers, © 1996-2014.
Research on Insects:
Free Software:
Databases and Information:
Web Site by John Byers (over 1500 HTML files and 3000 images). Site started in February 1996 while I was at the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences (SLU). In January 2002, I moved to the USA and the site was hosted by the USDA-ARS until March 2006 when it was moved to a private domain: www.chemical-ecology.net


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The top three candidates to fill Richmond County's vacant fire chief position work for departments larger than Augusta's and have an average of 28 years of experience.
The names and resumes of the candidates were faxed to the Augusta Commission on Friday afternoon.
"It says a lot of Augusta-Richmond County that people of that caliber want to come work here," Mayor Bob Young said.
The candidates are:
Douglas Lewis, 44, division chief of the rescue division of the St. Petersburg, Fla., Fire & Rescue Department. He directly supervises 93 people and is responsible for an $8.2 million operating budget. He has 25 years of experience, all with St. Petersburg's fire department.
"The strong suits I have are human resources and EMS (Emergency Medical Service), and I think that will play a big role in the future of this department," Chief Lewis said. "I also think I will bring to the table a participatory type of leadership."
Bernard Mack, 56, a battalion chief and acting deputy chief for the Philadelphia Fire Department, which has an operating budget of more than $146 million. He supervises half of the city's operating forces, about 250 people. Chief Mack has 28 years of experience - all in the Philadelphia Fire Department - and a master's degree in public safety.
On why he would make a good chief, Chief Mack said: "My background. As I went up through the ranks, I got my academic education and followed it by working into (increasingly higher) staff positions. I've covered almost anything there is to cover."
Stephen Woltz, 61, chief of the Columbus, Ohio, Metropolitan Fire Department, which has 1,600 employees and an operating budget of $111 million. He has 31 years of experience - all in Columbus - and a law degree.
He said he would be the best choice for a chief because, "I have a lot of experience ... I am qualified enough to run a large department, so I can run a department of any size."
Each of the top candidates has pursued continuing education courses in fire safety and officer training. Two have been certified as executive fire officers by the National Fire Academy, and the other has completed half of the required courses for certification.
The Augusta-Richmond County Fire Department has an annual operating budget of $14 million, and the fire chief supervises 318 employees. The salary for Richmond County's fire chief ranges from $65,287 to $104,457.
The three men were among a group of seven interviewed via telephone by the city administrator, the mayor and the mayor pro tem. For their second round of interviews, the candidates will travel to Augusta for an in-person interview with the Augusta Commission, which has been tentatively scheduled for 1:30 p.m. Oct. 24.
"During that time, we will do an extensive background check and a criminal history check," City Administrator Randy Oliver said. "For these types of employees, though, it's usually not an issue."
Reach Heidi Coryell at (706) 823-3215.
© 2018. All Rights Reserved. | Contact Us


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by Danielle Zabrauskas, Fashion News Correspondent
Levi's new ad campaign is one to stand out. Leaving simplicity behind, it features a stunning color palette of rich neutrals with vibrant pops of color. Presenting its new line of knits styled with its classic jeans, Levi Strauss can surely expect a successful season.
Simone Camille has always been noted for her craftsmanship, expertly working complementary fabrics together into a bag with a story. With a recent launch of another collection she has done it again. The line highlights buttery leather, suede and a mix of amazing details. If you enjoy making a boho statement, you will fall in love!
After a five-year hiatus from design, Hedi Slimane's return to high fashion this March as Stefano Pilati's replacement at Yves Saint Laurent came as an interesting change of pace. This appointment, however, created an enormous buzz in the industry as the summer months gave way to an overhaul of the brand, led by Slimane: new brick-and-mortar stores, a completely redesigned website and, most notably, a change of the label's name to Saint Laurent. Needless to say, the excitement over Slimane's first collection for the brand reached a fever pitch in the days leading up to Saint Laurent's Spring 2013 show in Paris, and the label did not disappoint.
Louis Vuitton is extremely well known for its checkered pattern, and thus Marc Jacobs' salute to the style in their Spring 2013 show was an amicable statement. Models were dressed completely head-to-toe in the pattern, descending to a checkered runway from four grand escalators. It was the perfect, energizing finish to an incredible fashion month!


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WE ARE MOVING OUTSIDE FOR THE SUMMER!! Our class will be held outside at CLIFFORD PARK (130 POOL STREET BIDDEFORD) the same time unless it rains and then it will be in the studio.
This all levels yoga practice links conscious breath with slow, mindful movement. Classes aim to cultivate strength, endurance, flexibility, balance, focus & serenity and will include variations in Sun Salutations, standing sequences, balancing poses and seated poses.
$10 drop in
5 class pass $45
10 class pass $85


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Instead of reading news articles about Pokemon Go, I decided to download it myself.
1. First of all, it's only a game if you decide to play it. I think that a large percentage of people don't do much with the game aspect. It is more like augmented reality geocaching (treasure hunting via GPS).
5. Substantiated myths can reach mythical proportions. Yes, someone found a body while playing Pokemon Go. Also, some people were using the locations to stock victims to mug. Also, there was a kid once named Adam Walsh who was kidnapped from a Sears once and the entire country stopped letting their kids peruse the in the toy aisle by themselves for almost 20 years. There was also once a kid who got hit by a car while riding his bike. And this one time a kid went to school and got bullied by a teacher ever day.
BONUS: If you want to know how they made the maps, how they chose the cache locations, etc. Mashable has a pretty good article explaining all that.


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Replay: A D-FW sports talk with Tim Cowlishaw (8/14/14)
Haha, first of all, I don't see the Texans having the worst offense. I believe both Arian Foster and Andre Johnson are supposed to play this weekend. Let's see if the unit looks any better with its two playmakers. Now they won't be very good, but I don't see them being 32nd. As for the Cowboys' defense, well, it's just hard to watch this group play and think that much is going to be accomplished. Of course, right now they are practicing without Henry Melton, without Demarcus Lawrence, without Brandon Carr -- get those players back (in Lawrence's case it will be close to mid-season) and it makes a little difference. But you're correct, it's one of the bottom defenses in the league and the only hope for them is they prove really good at creating turnovers. They are going to give up a ton of yards.
Given all the heat on the NCAA, shouldn't the shoe be on the other foot regarding transfers? They take their own sweet time determining eligibility on transfers, like the two men's basketball players SMU is waiting to hear about. Shouldn't the NCAA be given a deadline to deny eligibility and if they don't make it, the players are eligible?
There are so many issues with the NCAA today, it's baffling that the organization has any credibility with anyone. You are right about the deadlines, it's crazy. I think all the transfer rules will be changed with the new system in which the five power conferences can make their own changes.
I think you can put Odor in that category for sure. He's going to compete with Jurickson Profar for the second base job and if the club needs one of them elsewhere, that could happen. There's not a lot beyond that. Their pitching prospects (Jackson, Gonzalez) aren't here yet and, of course, Joey Gallo is yet to make his Rangers debut. I would expect that to happen around June 1 next year (just a guess), not when the season begins. The organization has prospects but got caught short at the top when the club was racked by injuries this summer.
Maybe a little bit, that's a good point. You still see a few altercations that make you wonder if it's entirely the manager's or the player's fault, but probably fewer than before? There might be something to that for both sides since replay kind of hovers over everything.
"We all know" that? Do we? And which transgressions? Is Washington to be held responsible for how poorly this team executes and plays fundamental baseball year after year? Or are you going to put that on Daniels, too? I would say both have had 2014s they would love to forget.
The ranger death march of 2014 is moving toward historically bad territory. Owner proclaims Washington has done "great job". What is the measure of this with 100+ losses clearly in sight? If he were doing "bad job" would they lose 150 games? ridiculous organization right now
How does JD get a complete free pass this year, and I'm not talking about the injuries. Whether it be his negotiation tactics with Hamilton, the fact he paid the Phillies $10 million to take our heart and soul off our hands in M Young, or his utter stinginess in low-balling Cruz when he could have gotten him for $6 million less than what he offered months earlier.You guys (all of you in the media) haven't even brought up the question if he should go.You don't go from a World Series team to the worst in baseball in three years (unless you're the Florida Marlins). Grow a pair, and take this guy to task already!
You got one out of three, Rosco, I guess if you're hitting, you did well. If you're trying to make intelligent points, you failed miserably. Start with Hamilton. How did he fail in his negotiations? The man makes $25 million a year for the Angels and he didn't hit 25 home runs last year and won't get close this year. He's a singles hitter right now. The Rangers got the best years any team will ever get out of Hamilton and they did it by JD shipping out Edinson Volquez. Where do you rank that trade? Do you have any idea how many teams Volquez has pitched for since then? Let's go to that awful loss of Michael Young. Did he go to the All-Star Game with Philly or something? I believe they traded him that same season to the Dodgers and he played very little for that team in the playoffs and then he retired. Great player, great Ranger without question. But he was done when he left here. On Cruz, you are right and I have said so many times. On the other hand, check Cruz's stats since about June 1. That red-hot start has faded. But thanks for energizing this chat.
Seeing the Mavs' schedule got me pumped for the season, but I can't help but feel like they won't be any better than last year (except one or two wins thanks to Tyson Chandler). I love Parsons, but everyone else is so darn old. Is Dirk going to even have another chance to win the title with the Mavs?
Titles are hard to come by, Barney. The NBA championship is the hardest to win because it is based more solely on talent than the NFL, NHL, MLB where team chemistry, coaching, luck and other factors get a little more heavy involvement. The team with the great players wins in the NBA (and that's not to say the Spurs don't have great chemistry, but that team was loaded with nine very good players that performed night after night in the post-season). So to answer your question, I could see this team improving by four or five wins (that's not bad) and getting into the top four in the West and having home court for the first round. Hard to figure out what it's going to take to get to the Spurs' or OKC's level but let's see how the season goes, what injuries factor into the equation, etc.
We talked to him on the radio show the other day and he made it clear he feels turnovers aren't quite everything, but it's close. And you're right, this team frequently gets cited for finishing 32nd last year in defense, but that's total yards. Hey, the Texans were better in yards by a lot but they gave up more points by quite a bit. Which would you rather have? The problem is where are the playmakers? Who's getting the interceptions? Claiborne? Scandrick starting week 5? It's tough.
Mizzou gave him more than one "second chance" and it didn't work. Of course, the Sooners see this as an opportunity to bring a player in for four months (will he even go to school? We know he'll be in the draft next spring) and try to win now. I don't think the Sooners' history would show a great deal of concern for sending messages.
I think the Cowboys are essentially in a rebuilding mode right now while trying to hang on with a few offensive star players. The purging of veterans began this off-season with Ware and Hatcher. Spencer would have gone, too, had he been healthy enough to leave. Now the Cowboys offense can save them from a big plunge to the bottom of the league to get that top five draft pick you mention. But if Romo can't go, then anything is possible.
I think Tech will keep going forward with Kliff but I think all of the Red Raiders' road games in the Big 12 (OSU, K-State, TCU, Iowa State, Baylor at AT&T) will be challenges. How much can they have fixed this defense? Teams averaged over 290 yards rushing PER GAME during that five-game losing streak last year. I expect Tech to be good and very exciting but not top three in the Big 12. Just outside of it probably.
Aside from the obvious, the Knicks games will be fun, assuming Chandler healthy. Does Portland keep getting better with Aldridge and Lillard? Aldridge is the big free agent next summer, he will be fun to keep an eye on. Obviously the OKC games are always a supreme challenge for this team. Clippers should be too.
I think it's a little late in the game to be making moves. This team will be in training camp in a month. The improvement at the defensive end has to come from within -- Nemeth, Oleksiak up from Austin, better play from Dillon, continued solid play from Jordie Benn, etc.
Although we never really know what Yu is thinking about things, I would have a hard time making that assessment. My guess is they are being overly cautious as they should be. Just imagine what it would be like around here for a year and a half if Yu Darvish needed Tommy John surgery.
That's a good question but I haven't heard of any dispute. You are referring to his contract which he can opt out of a year early given certain Cy Young finishes. Problem is he's not pitching well enough this year to even be in the hunt so that doesn't really apply here.
What can the NBA do to put in some more rules about teams' fans, and unofficial reps (Drake) to keep them from recruiting players that are under contract? It seems like now when a guy signs, the talk about where he goes next starts up. And now players seem to be recruiting other players regardless of the existing contract.
You have touched on the single thing I dislike most about the NBA. It's an ongoing discussion for every star player, where are they going to go in 2-3 years? It's horrible for the fans. Carmelo Anthony's entire career is going to be the saga of where he wants to go -- not the fact that he's been beyond the first round of the playoffs twice in 11 years. On the other hand, I think it's just stupid for the league to fine the Raptors for something Drake says in a concert. That's hardly tampering, good grief.
Are the Mavs done trying to get some additional bench help; at least during the offseason? It looks rather problematic right now. And any news on Marion, last I heard he had a sit-down with Bird over the weekend, but nothing since then. My guess is if the Pacers don't blow him away, he'll be in Cleveland; which could be a bit ironic.
I was astounded at the graphic last night to discover that all but one Ranger minor league team is championship caliber (with the lone club in third place with a solid winning record). Sounds like a top five minor league system once the rankings come out next spring.


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Yesterday early morning I got a call that the SQL Server Agent on a SQL Server 2000 instance was not starting after a scheduled reboot of the server. I was told that there was an error message in SQLAgent.out file which read Login failed for user 'sa'. Instead of relying on that information I got on to a remote help session with my team member.
I could see that whenever we tried starting the SQL Server Agent service, SQLAGENT.out file had this information in it.
This server belongs to a Line of Business where we have been hardening the servers of late. Hence the first thing I checked that the service account had "sa" privileges on that instance, assuming that we had revoked access to BuiltinAdministrators and did not grant the new service account sufficient privileges. Since this instance is SQL Server 2000 this article explains that lack of privileges can result in such errors. But the SQL Server and Agent services were running under the credentials of a Domain Account which had "SA" privileges on that instance.
Since the first option was ruled out, the next step was to check the "Connection" tab in SQL Server Agent –> Properties. Here is what I saw.
Gotcha! For some unknown reasons someone had configured SQL Server Agent to connect to the SQL Server instance using "SA" credentials. I remembered that the SA account was moved into a "Vault" last night. The "Vault" application resets the password for the first time and then it manages the password on its own by changing it every 15 days or when someone fetches the password through it. This is the reasons why SQL Server Agent was failing to start with login failed for sa error. Now all I had to do was to change the connection property to Use Windows Authentication. Thats all. SQL Server Agent started without any errors after I did this change.
There are many more servers that we are "hardening" and I will not be surprised to get few more unpleasant surprises in the coming days.


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Business: How the financial advisers cost us all – but we need them
Pound Foolish by Helaine Olen
Helaine Olen thinks Americans have lost their financial minds. Name your idiocy and over the last 30 years otherwise sensible people have done it: gorged on credit cards, jumped into "no-money down" mortgages, frittered away pension plans on day trading.
An entire industry exists to stop this from happening. In 2011, there were 319,456 financial advisers working in the US – a field forecast to grow by 30pc over the next decade as baby-boomers enter retirement, worrying whether they have saved enough along the way.
If only this "personal finance industrial complex" was truly on the side of its clients. As Olen makes clear in 'Pound Foolish', that is often not the case.
"So much of the advice we receive is suspect, but in our desperation we take it anyway," she writes, patiently skewering the industry she has been writing about for almost 20 years in the 'Los Angeles Times' and elsewhere.
She describes how the business of selling financial advice has grown with, and fed off, other powerful currents in American life.
In the 1950s, investing in the New York Stock Exchange became a patriotic duty, while in the decades since, peddlers of financial advice have adroitly refashioned themselves as consumer champions, real-estate maestros, stock-pickers and tough-talking debt advisers, depending on the prevailing social and economic winds.
Its real power, however, lies in our absolute need for it. The unstoppable rise of the personal finance industry has coincided with an American era of stagnant salaries, withering pensions and staggering rises in the cost of education and healthcare.
"We were participants in a vast experiment, a hope that personal finance and investments would do it all for us," Olen writes. With 43pc of the population now living paycheque to paycheque, according to Olen, is it any wonder people have ended up making poor, desperate decisions?
Olen concludes by arguing for a broader kind of financial literacy, a conversation about income inequality and decent pensions.
Until then, however, we are left with characters such as Daryl White, a 50-something US Postal Service worker who Olen meets at an online trading class in New York.
"I'm learning the rules," says White, who has spent thousands of dollars on trading advice and won't tell Olen how much he has lost. "The money will come later."
Available with free P&P on www.kennys.ie or by calling 091-709350.
Indo Business


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Moore Corp., Wallace Computer to Combine
Published 7:00 pm, Thursday, January 16, 2003
Commercial printer Moore Corp. has agreed to pay $1.1 billion in cash and stock for Illinois-based Wallace Computer Services Inc., the company said Friday.
The combined company, to be named Moore Wallace, would be one of the world's largest providers of commercial print, direct-mail, customer communications, forms, labels and distribution services, according to a news release from Moore.
The combined company will have $3.6 billion in annual revenue and more than 18,500 employees worldwide.
"We are creating a world leader in the printing industry with a strong customer base and a diversified manufacturing platform from which to grow our business," said Mark Angelson, Moore's chief executive.
In 1995, Moore launched a hostile bid for Wallace, a Lisle, Ill., printing company that fought the takeover for more than a year. Moore dropped the bid after a court battle over board seats.
On Friday, the companies said they have signed a definitive merger agreement, and their boards have approved the deal. But shareholder and regulatory approval are also required.
Moore said it will pay about $606 million in cash and $470 million in stock to Wallace shareholders. It will also assume $210 million in debt in the deal.
At Thursday's closing prices, the transaction is valued at $25.58 for each Wallace share.
In trading on the New York Stock Exchange, Wallace shares climbed $3.92, or 18.6 percent, to close Friday at $3.92 while Moore shares rose 12 cents to $10.77.
To complete the transaction, Moore said it will issue about 44.2 million common shares to Wallace shareholders. After the merger, Wallace shareholders will own 28 percent of the combined company, according to Moore.
The deal includes financing for Moore from a group of banks led by Citigroup/Salomon Smith Barney Inc., Deutsche Bank AGDeutsche Bank Securities and Morgan Stanley.
Angelson will be chief executive of the combined company, with three of Wallace's directors offered positions on the Moore Wallace board.
On the Net:


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Right at this moment, there's 700,086 seconds left of the game and the time keeps ticking away!
Monday night's premiere of The Million Second Quiz was huge and hundreds of thousands of you have been playing the game on your computer, on your phone and on your tablet. Ryan Seacrest kicked things off in New York City at 8/7c and the game has waged on ever since.
Heidi Klum, Jimmy Fallon, Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie and The Voice's Blake Shelton have all joined the fun and asked a question during the shows!
If you're not familiar with how it's played (you should be!), the quiz is the ultimate test of trivia and endurance. You face off in Bouts of 10 questions each; the winner of each Bout earns points and control of the Money Chair. Rack up enough points and you qualify to become a potential Line Jumper—which means you could be selected to be whisked to New York to play live on NBC for a huge cash prize!
You can watch the game being played 24/7, check out a live stream of the top winners in "Winners' Row" and join in the fun by playing the game at NBC.com. It's the first time something this interactive has ever been done on TV and people are loving it.
Check out the video above to see Blake Shelton ask his question and watch the video below to see another clip from the show!
The show airs again tonight at 8/7c on NBC and will be airing every night this week at the same time. Tune-in and play along at www.nbc.com/million-second-quiz/!


text: This new buff when you wipe has made LFR even worse. Spare me the horseshit about how LFR is good, it does nothing but hurt the game. If you can't even be bothered to try and play the game why should you get loot? Oh and clearly loot is all the people care about because if they were really there to see the content they might try.


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I realize that one student emerged victorious in the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee: 14 year old Snigdha Nandipati from San Diego who nailed the word "guetapens." In my eyes all of the competitors are champs because of their winning temperaments, intelligence and discipline.
These are the ones who stood out to me during the final round.
Gifton Wright from Kingston, Jamaica: The super polite 14 year old met every word he was given to spell with the a "Thank you, sir." Chalk this up to his coach, who stressed good manners in addition to spelling.
Nicholas Rushlow from Pickerington, Ohio: The precocious 8th grader would ask the judges to spell the word he was given in addition to asking for a definition in a deadpan joke.
Stuti Mishra from Orlando, Florida: Mishra finished second and in addition to her poise was a stand out because of her devotion to her younger sister.
Congratulations to our Georgia contestants. Rachael Cundey and Simola Nayak who made it to the semi-finals. That's an impressive feat since they spelled against 276 students.
And kudos to the parents, educators, and friends who supported these kids. They could not have made it to the nationals without you!


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It is not everyday that you see two museums placing bets on a Super Bowl match, or for that matter any sporting event. But a very unlikely event has been taking place at the Milwaukee Art Museum and the Carnegie Museum of Art. Art critic Tyler Green has started this bet between the museums in which the winner gets an artwork from the other museum's collection. So this year if the Packers win, the Carnegie Museum will have to send their "Bathers with Crab" by Renoir to Milwaukee Art Museum.
And in case the Steelers win, "Boating on the Yerres" by Gustav Caillebotte will be sent over to Carnegie for a temporary loan, where visitors will be able to admire the new visitor. Last year the participants were Indianapolis Museum of Art and the New Orleans Museum of Art.
"The Fifth Plague of Egypt", 1800, a landscape by British artist J.M.W. Turner was sent over from the Indianapolis Museum of Art to the New Orleans Museum of Art, where it spent a few months along with a Lombardi-trophy-shaped sign commemorating the victory. Well it is certainly a much more creative way of showing your rivalry, which by the way is heating up with the Super Bowl XLV coming up in a week.
Via: Jsonline


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For Those Of Us Married To A Passive Aggressive SpouseWorth rereading!
Is Your Passive Aggressive Husband Withholding Sex?
By Cathy Meyer, About.com Guide
Have you ever had a wonderful day with your husband only to be rejected sexually at the end of the day? You lay in bed replaying the events of the day in your head. There were no arguments; you both appeared to be enjoying yourself. It was an expensive outing at a local mall but your husband didn't complain, he even made several purchases for himself.
So, what happened to that loving man you spent the day with? Where is the man who seemed to be happy to be with you and eager to please?
Not to worry, he is still there. He is now passive aggressively punishing you for what he wasn't willing to express to you earlier. That expensive day of shopping bothered him. It bothered him tremendously and you now need to be punished for engaging in an activity that he failed to be honest with you about.
According to Scott Wetzler, author of Living With The Passive Aggressive Man, "Abstinence is a common complaint from women involved with passive aggressive men. If he's in a financial pinch, he'll take you out for the evening but remind you that the evening's expenses are a huge burden. He'll then make up pay by refusing to have sex. But if you offer to go Dutch before he suggests it, he'll take it as an emasculating gesture. And still he'll make you pay by withholding sex. His sexual refusal, however, will usually be hidden under the guise of a transparent excuse: he's sleepy, sick, preoccupied with work."
Try to get a passive aggressive man to admit he is punishing you by withholding sex and he will look at you as if you have three heads. My ex husband was passive aggressive. His favorite way of punishing me was to withhold sex. He punished me so often that as far as intimacy we averaged six times a year.
I did what most women who are punished in such a way. I internalized it, made it about me. If I were better looking, thinner, a better mother or a better wife my husband would want to be intimate with me. That is what most women married to passive aggressives do; they doubt themselves and buy into the "too tired" excuse.
In other words, we do exactly what the passive aggressive is not able to do openly and honestly. We punish ourselves. His need to punish us is successful and he didn't have to say a word. All it took was turning away from us in bed. He keeps his good guy image and at the same time makes his wife pay for not reading his mind and knowing he was upset and acting accordingly.
Most men engage in sex for pleasure, so they can make a deeper connection with the woman they love. The passive aggressive man doesn't view sex the same way. For the passive aggressive man sex is not about making an intimate connection with his wife but about proving to himself that he isn't dependent on his wife, the he doesn't need that intimate connection.
While most men are having sex with their wife in order to connect more deeply with her, the passive aggressive man withholds sex from his wife in order to keep himself safe and to show her who the boss is. Sex is a weapon to be used, not a way of connecting more deeply with his wife.
"To undermine your self-worth without taking action is a passive aggressive man's ideal crime of omission," says Scott Wetzler.
Below are suggestions for dealing with a passive aggressive husband who withholds sex:
Do not internalize his behavior. It isn't about your worth or attractiveness. It is about him and his inability to express anger.
Call him on his behavior. Tell him you know he is upset and you deserve to be told what is wrong instead of punished like a child.
Keep in mind that his behavior has to do with fear, fear of getting to close to you, fear of being abandoned by you and probably years of hidden anger toward you.
Get into therapy as a couple. A passive aggressive man can change his behavior if there is motivation and a commitment to his marriage.
Reassure him that he is important to you, that you love him and hope that he loves you enough to want to change the unhealthy relationship dynamics.
When all else fails, make the decision to either stay and accept his behavior or leave the marriage. If, after expressing your desire to save the marriage by going to counseling and helping him change destructive behaviors he carries on, the odds of him ever changing is slim to none.
From: http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/abusiverelationships/a/pa_sex.htm
The trick is to go Dutch in the humping department as well.
That would be funnier if my stbx wasn't dutch ;)
Thanks for this article. It never crossed my mind that PA could be the underlying issue with my wife, so I will be pondering this thought-provoking article. And, gypsyblue, misandry is also a distinct possibility! Both my wife's sisters have divorced and not remarried, which might support the argument. And then, oddly, did it all start with their father, whom my wife seems to have always been distant from? Like nyartgals article implys, got to talk about it to get the real answer.
Very interesting, and I think there's some of that in my marriage. Have always considered my almost sexless husband to be passive aggressive, and since his self-esteem is low, he may also be worried about losing me. Meanwhile, he's pushing me out the friggin' door.
I swear you read my mind! I know my husband loves me but he has been punishing m=ever since our wedding day when I got way drunk and slapped him.. 4 1/2 years later and it is always something I did or didn't do. Or he is too tired or the kids might hear or whatever but it is breaking me apart to the point that im hardening my heart against him so when I do walk out it wont hurt as bad.
I don't know, i think it is more complicated than that..i can see an occasional acting out in this passive agressive this way, but I don't think that is what is happening in a sexless marriage, I think it is something else. Not exactly sure what, and because people have different circumstances, it is not that easy to sort out. I do know that as I was pulling away from the marriage, I just had no more patience left, and my spouse became very controlling. And honestly, that contol issue was the one that drove me to finally do something. And I stumbled on EP.
can you tell me more about your experience? I know there are many factors contributing to why my husband refuses me. It's very painful and hurts my pride as a woman and my womanhood.
The problem with trying to sort out the why, is that it is too illusive. My suggestion is that instead, you decide what you want in life, the kind of relationship you want, and decide what works to get you to that goal. if it means going for individual counseling, or marriage counseling, or leaving the marriage, or having a friend...whatever, but it means placing the focus off of your spouse for the solution, and looking to what you yourself can do, to get the life you want.
The problem with counting on the spouse for your happiness, is that your happiness rests in his hands.
I know you are right. The only way to see change is to make change. We have done counseling, individual and couples to no avail. I honestly see now that when we first dated he placed me waaaay up on a glass pedestal and then every infraction, every mistake I have made has been a rock thrown at his image of me. I cannot bring up the subject without the argument suddenly turning into how horrible of a person I am and how could he want to have sex with someone who argues with him. im argueing because im begging for attention. ugh. I go talk to JAG today. I said 5 years was my limit if **** was the same and it is 4 1/2 now
Then again it might just be that the man does not have a very active sex drive. Confronting such a person in an accusatory way might just make the marriage both sexless AND loveless.
I am positive this is what my H's ED is all about. He might even own up to the fact that he is passive=aggressive, but he would flat-out refuse that it is a factor in his lack of desire.
Thank you for this article. It's quite interesting, concise and easy to understand. As I analyze my situation by corroborating this new info it comes to me that I am actually internalizing it, his passive aggressiveness.
Great article!
It's a good clean simple and concise summary you have sourced there NYG.
Thanks for posting it.
Personally, I think that by its' very nature, marital sexual refusal means - by default - that P.A. is in play to a large extent. I reckon they go hand in glove.
Tread your own path.
may be a far streach... all most borderlines on Misogyny ( dislike of women ) or Misandry ( dislike of men )
Good article, the only thing I would add is that sometimes the PA punishment is not for something you did that day or even that week - this is why it's so messed up. You're thinking, ok what did I do? And it could be something you did 2 weeks ago that they were just waiting to ruin a really good day over.
me too! I got really drunk on our wedding night and slapped him (I thought I was funny, damn alcohol) and that was the first strike. I didn't know that he was building up a case against me, holding onto every infraction I ever made but never telling me until we get in a fight. then I get the laundry list of failings all thrown in my face and told that these are all the reasons he cant be intimate. well ****, cant we talk about them, let me try to either explain my actions at the time or at least let me know when I do something he doesn't like, WHEN it happens. then I can try to correct it. But alas, almost 5 years of marriage and still mowhere.
My first husband told me on one occasion that I had once told him (when we were engaghed) that I did not care for a certain food. Ten years later I was eating the food at a party and enjoying it. On the way home the PA punishment launched. Eventually I discovered that he was FURIOUS that I now liked a food I had previously disliked. I think he thought I was deliberately lying to him on one occassion. . . . WTF? WHO lies about such a thing? And, in TEN years, I wasn't allowed to mature and change my mind?
But it only when you really become aware of the depth and insidiousness of PA behaviour that you stop intenalising these comments and realise it is NOT you!!
Isn't it extraordinary how the CONTROL aspect is so dominant? Your STBX didn't even want to live in CA! My Ex didn't have to eat the food!! So it all comes down to them being unable toSTAND us having any say in our own lives - even about the most INsignificant things (as in my case!)
thats is how they fool us, thier thinking is so off the wall.. it blind sides us
I've been reading up on passive aggressive behaviour over the past few days as many of the 'symptoms' correspond to how my ex behaved. She seemed to seek minimal passion, she valued a pleasant but non-intimate relationship with as little conflict as possible. Of course over the years this emotional suppression builds up huge frustrations in the 'refused' and you find yourself bursting into rages and anger, making you the 'bad guy' (you're now behaving active aggressively which, if you're male, makes you vulnerable to accusations of being abusive - my ex worked in domestic violence, she knew how to do this, it's a nearly flawless manipulative strategy). So you begin to fall into the same game, you start to engage in passive aggressive retaliation with intermittent active aggressive language when the emotional abuse gets too much. You become one yourself - albeit a poor amateur in comparison.
Hmm... I realise that 'passive aggressive' is controversial as a true personality disorder, but it's eerily accurate in what it describes. I've spent a long time with one of these people (whatever they are), I loved her. It's only when you get away from them that you begin to get the perspective to see what's been going on and what they've been doing. It's almost impossible to do this when you're in it, and I'm fairly certain that I'm not dumb, needy or naive. I just wanted to have a loving relationship, pretty normal stuff, but it makes you vulnerable to these people.
I'm pretty convinced that the only thing you can do in these situations, is leave.
Accusations of being abusive are not only reserved for males. When H walked out (over a year ago) he told everyone that would listen that he didn't feel safe being in the same building as me, he refused to tell me where he was going as he said I would harass him. Less than a week later he says he's coming back, like there would be no consequences to that?? I said no, you're not.
I understand that the accusation of abuse isn't reserved only for men, just that we're more vulnerable to that accusation (thanks to the 'sensitive' behaviour of some of our brethren). It's a powerful 'weapon', applied skillfully it can be used so that even shouting or raging can be a sign of your innate aggression. You're not allowed to complain, or even discuss what's happening to you. Because to do so is wrong, domineering and oppressive. It worked on me, I was trapped by this for years. Oh, and add in the fact that you'd actually like to have sex. It took a long time for me to realise I was being manipulated.
[N.B. Even now, I read this and think, "well that's exactly what an abusive spouse would say...", as I said, powerful stuff].
Hmm.. that was silly - of course woman are just as vulnerable to being told they're 'mad', 'acting crazy', etc... A moment of self pity. Sorry about that.
Shouting, raging, complaining, discussing, questioning, suggesting, asking, breathing..... all signs of aggression to a PA spouse! :)
I can see how you would be more socially vulnerable as a guy to accusations of abusive behaviour. It's how it hurts inside to hear it and know it's so far from the truth that is worse for me. I feel your pain, tree.


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PUBLIC HEARING city of red wing
Notice is hereby given that the City of Red Wing Advisory Planning Commission will hold a public hearing in the City Council Chambers at City Hall on Tuesday, November 19, 2013, at 7:00 p.m., to hear and make a recommendation on proposed amendments to the Red Wing Zoning Ordinance (Chapter 11 of the Red Wing City Code). The Red Wing Planning Advisory Commission is proposing amendments to Division 25: Residential District Regulations and Division 47: Planned Unit Developments that would allow more flexibility for the potential redevelopment and reuse of existing institutional/commercial structures located within residentially zoned districts.
The proposed change to Division 25 is the addition of a new use to Division 25-020 D) Conditional Uses that allows a Multiple Family Residential use with five or more units if it is approved as part of a Planned Unit Development that includes the reuse of an existing institutional/commercial building. Three changes are proposed for Division 47; these changes address the reuse of existing buildings, the acreage requirements of a PUD involving the reuse of an existing building, and how density for this type of PUD may be addressed.
The complete proposed amendments may be viewed or obtained from the Planning Department at City Hall, 315 W. 4th Street, Red Wing, MN 55066 or by calling (651)385-3622.
Written or oral comments to said proposal may be presented at this public hearing or filed with the City Clerk prior to this hearing. Each response will be duly considered and evaluated before any formal action is taken by the Planning Commission.
Kathy Seymour Johnson
City Clerk
City of Red Wing, Minnesota
Date: November 6, 2013
November 9, 2013


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It is said that every journey of a great distance begins with a single step. On my personal lean journey, I took that first step – and many more thereafter – with the guidance of a man named Gordon Jonas.
Gordon was a man of great passion: for his family, for small-bore rifles which he shot competitively, and for teaching lean thinking to anyone who would listen. If lean had an evangelist, it was Gordon. It wasn't so much the words that he spoke that caught people's attention; it was all in the delivery and it was unforgettable.
In fact, it's been about 18 months since I last spoke to Gordon, but his go-to catch phrases still fill the space between my ears like he's sitting right here, right now.
. . . . when a kaizen event finally yielded a breakthough:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have our 'ah-ha' moment!"
. . . when the blame was being passed around:
"Remind me again . . . is it called it the 5-whys, or the 5-whos?"
. . . and in the many instances in which I should have known better:
"Joel . . . <insert long, dramatic pause as he tilted his head and lowered his eyes to peer deep down into my soul> . . . c'mon!"
"C'mon" was like Gordon's own personal badge of honor, and he saw to it that I wore it proudly. A "c'mon" meant that 1.) I was probably being an idiot, 2.) I was about to be informed very directly of exactly why I was being an idiot, and 3.) I was going to learn a very valuable (and slightly painful) lesson that I would not soon forget.
Sure, he was a bit harsh at times, but I knew he was only critical of me because he genuinely cared, not just as a co-worker, but as a person and as a friend. For one reason or another, Gordon invested in my potential and did his best to see that I could do my best. And that is why to me – and to (literally) countless others to whom he dedicated his time and energy – Gordon was the embodiment of what it meant to be a mentor.
Tragically, Gordon passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last month at the age of 55.
I found his obituary to be a perfect representation of his dedication and investment in others, noting that his time was spent:
"traveling around the world implementing and training others in continuous improvement methodologies. His "tough love" teaching style made him universally beloved and respected by his many mentees."
What I struggled to find, however, were the words that express the gratitude that I feel to Gordon for introducing me to Lean thinking, one of the few passions in my life, not to mention the means by which I am able to support my family. I've written and re-written this post more than ten times over the past few weeks, but nothing has been good enough to do him justice. There simply aren't enough thank-yous in the thesaurus.
The more that I reflected on the topic, the more that I realized that I was coming at it from the wrong angle. I was trying to express my gratitude, when I should have been focused on demonstrating my gratitude. A mentor does not mentor because of the thanks and the praise that they receive. A mentor is motivated simply by seeing the growth and the development of those for which they genuinely care.
If that is the case, how then do we honor those mentors in our lives who have given us so much? The answer is by being the mentors for the next generation. Our mentors were rewarded by our success. When we in turn become mentors, we are ensuring that the wisdom, the energy, the dedication, and the passion of our mentors lives on in others.
When each subsequent generation does the same, adding their own personal knowledge and experience as they go, then we all become part of something very special . . . something without an end that will grow and evolve over time. . . something with the power to change hearts and minds. . . This is the mentor's legacy.
By paying it forward, you honor that legacy . . . you become part of that legacy . . . and you create a legacy of your own.
What can you do to be part of something very special? Ask yourself these two questions.
"Who is my mentor?" Whether it's for lean or for life in general, now is the time to find a mentor of your own if you do not already have one. It's not always easy, but here are some helpful hints to get you started. And if you already have a mentor, consider ways in which to strengthen that relationship.
"Who am I mentoring?" To answer this question, I want you to take a long, hard look in the mirror. In all walks of life, lean thinking included, there are many coaches, and far fewer mentors. Understand that there are differences. A good coach can teach us many things; a mentor helps us to learn for ourselves the lessons in life that can't be taught. Find someone you want to see succeed, someone you genuinely care about and someone whose life you feel that you can positively affect. Reach out. Be a mentor.
Gordon's passing has caused me to realize that I have been blessed with a great responsibility. I've always considered mentoring to be one of the most rewarding aspects of my career; but with the knowledge that by doing so, I am continuing and creating a legacy for all of the individuals who I am proud to call my mentors, mentoring takes on an even greater value for me.
In closing, I ask you to consider the following:
Will you honor those that came before you?
Will you pay it forward?
Will you create a mentor's legacy?
And for what it's worth . . . thank you, Gordon.
Notes. Please Read.
- Contributions may be made in Gordon's name to the American Red Cross, P.O. Box 4002018, Des Moines, IA, 50340-2018.
- If you are reading this post and knew Gordon personally, I ask you to share a story in the comments below. What did you learn from Gordon? How did he impact your life?
- If you didn't know Gordon, but had a mentor who affected your life positively, please feel free to share a story in the comments below.