text: %% Image selected per Image Pickin' thread: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1503881135005058600%% Please do not change or remove without starting a new thread.%%[[quoteright:242:[[Webcomic/{{xkcd}} http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/xkcdfairytales.jpg]]]]->''"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?"''-->-- '''Fry''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "My Three Suns"Basically, it's when a character tries to give an anecdote or tell a story (usually a well-known real one, or else people might not know that it diverged from the original without help from MrExposition). They then go off in absurd and comedic tangents, and the intended moral/ending/what-have-you is lost.The {{Cloudcuckoolander}} is often prone to this. May overlap with NoSenseOfHumor.Compare {{Metaphorgotten}}, IceCreamKoan and DisorganizedOutlineSpeech. Also compare FracturedFairyTale, in which it's due to the author's deliberation, and SidetrackedByTheAnalogy, when it's the listener who takes the meaning of the story off its course.Contrast ShaggyDogStory, where the story does go somewhere; it's just not impressive once it does.----!!Examples:[[foldercontrol]][[folder:Anime & Manga]]* In ''Manga/PandoraHearts Retrace LXXVII'', [[NotSoStoic Echo]] tries to tell one of these to an [[HeroicSafeMode emotionally fragile]] Oz in order to cheer him up while he's [[spoiler:locked up in Pandora's dungeon, awaiting execution at the hands of the Baskervilles]]. It works ''because'' Echo forgets the ending of the story, as it reminds Oz of something [[HeterosexualLifePartners Gil]] would have done. From what we get of the story, it was definitely already this trope with or without an ending:-->''Once upon a time, there was a peasant who had a friend who had just been married. The married couple lived happily in a vacant house in the village. One day while he was going to work, the peasant saw the couple coming towards him, walking on their hands and holding vegetables in their mouths. Surprised, the peasant asked them what they were doing. The couple replied, "Of course..."''* ''Manga/FairyTail'': Natsu tries explaining to Gajeel why he shouldn't be surprised that [[SummonMagic Lucy]] can put up a fight:-->'''Natsu:''' You've never heard the story of "The Tortoise and [[ItMakesSenseInContext the Cheerleader]]"?\\'''Gajeel:''' It was a hare, you moron! And the dumb bunny lost, remember?\\'''Natsu:''' Duh, the ''first'' time! Then it won the next hundred races, hands down!\\'''Gajeel:''' [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight Oh... uh... really. I guess that speedy varmint learned his lesson.]][[/folder]][[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]* The climax of ''Film/BillyMadison'' has the eponymous character trying to compare the changes in literature brought on by the Industrial Revolution with a children's story called "The Puppy Who Lost His Way". We never get to hear most of it but what ''is'' heard appears to be pretty impressively mangled.--> "Mr. Madison, what you've just said... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."* Creator/LeslieNielsen's characters are prone to doing this in films such as ''Film/TheNakedGun'' and ''Film/SpyHard''. At one point in the former he has a narration that wanders along for a bit as he walks along the street, and by the end of it, he's walked completely out of town and doesn't know where he is.* A lampshaded example in ''Film/GrumpierOldMen'', Grandpa Gustafson (Burgess Meredith, in his final role) tells his son John (Jack Lemmon) about his daily dietary habits, which involve waking up with a cigarette and then eating copious amounts of bacon for every meal. Despite his habits, he's managed to outlive multiple doctors who've told him that it's a medical miracle that he didn't died thirty years ago, with his only justification being that "God forgot about me" before he shrugs it off and says "Well, it just goes to show you." John points out that ending a story with this implies that there's a moral, but Grandpa says there wasn't a point, he just liked telling that story.[[/folder]][[folder:Fan Works]]* When ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}}'' doujins or fics do [[BokeAndTsukkomiRoutine manzai]] and/or has Cirno in it, this trope is bound to come up.[[/folder]][[folder:Literature]]* ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'':** Granny Weatherwax tries to tell the joke about the man who orders an alligator sandwich and [[DontExplainTheJoke says "and make it snappy!"]] but she can't remember the punchline, so she keeps coming up with things like "And I want it quickly!" It's explained at some point that, while she's not entirely missing a sense of humour, she tends not to understand ''why'' a certain joke is funny. In this case, she's simply repeating one she's heard, and doesn't understand why no-one laughs when she tells it.** Also, ''Discworld/{{Pyramids}}'' has the Greatest Storyteller in the World, who is unfortunately hampered by a bad memory and short attention span, so all his stories turn into this.* Creator/WoodyAllen uses this a couple of times in his humorous "The Early Essays".** ''On Seeing a Tree in Summer'': "Once a lumberjack was about to chop down a tree, when he noticed a heart carved in it, with two names inside. Putting away his axe, he sawed down the tree instead. The point of that story escapes me, although six months later the lumberjack was fined for teaching a dwarf Roman numerals."** ''On Frugality'': "Take the case of the ant and the grasshopper: The grasshopper played all summer, while the ant worked and saved. When winter came, the grasshopper had nothing, but the ant complained of chest pains. Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun, either. The point is, we all need a nest egg to fall back on, but not while wearing a good suit."[[/folder]][[folder:Live-Action TV]]* ''Series/StargateSG1'': There's this example from Col. O'Neill: "Haven't you guys heard the story about the dog and the dancing monkeys? It's about getting along and... dancing." This a throwback to an earlier exchange between O'Neill and an old man who likes using proverbs and fables. The exchange is peppered with this.-->'''Old Man:''' No one can be a friend if you know not whether to trust them.\\'''Jack:''' Don't judge a book by its cover.\\'''Old Man:''' Enemies' promises were made to be broken.\\'''Jack:''' And yet, honesty is the best policy.\\'''Old Man:''' He who has too many friends has none.\\'''Jack:''' Ahh, but, birds of a feather.\\'''Old Man:''' I'm unfamiliar with that story, what lesson does it teach?\\'''Jack:''' It has to do with flocking, and togetherness, and to be honest I'm not so familiar with the particulars myself.* ''Series/UprightCitizensBrigade''' episode "The Story of the Toad."* From [[OnceAnEpisode almost every episode]] of ''Series/HomeImprovement'': Tim has a problem. Tim receives wise advice from Wilson. Tim tries to share Wilson's wise advice with others, mangling it into incomprehensibility in the process.-->'''Wilson:''' You know Tim, there's an old folk saying. Obsessions are like fire and water. Good servants, but bad masters.\\''[later]''\\'''Tim:''' It's like Bad Masterson said. You can't get obsessed the way old people drive through water, if their servants are on fire.* In ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', Barney Stinson will tell a story allegedly to illustrate a point that ends up merely highlighting his sexual prowess.* As with the above example, Will's boss Ben Doucette on ''Series/WillAndGrace'' tells him a story about a passionate sexual encounter on the beach. When Will asks him what his point is, he answers, "No point, I just like telling that story. Now get back to work and stop listening to pointless stories."* ''Film/TheGoldenGirls'': All of Rose's St. Olaf stories ended up her, or when Sophia talked about her life in Sicily. * In an episode of ''Series/JustShootMe'', Finch goes into great detail when explaining how he pranked Maya. This is relevant to the episode, but then Finch throws in the part about how he played Twister with supermodels while the others were out.-->'''Elliot:''' Why are you telling us that part?\\'''Finch:''' Dude, I'm telling everybody that part.* Mr. James from ''Series/NewsRadio'' is fond of these. For example: "There's a saying, 'I cried because I had no desk, until I met a man who had no feet, and the no feet guy explained there was no such thing as a budget and WNYX was way, way over it, uh, the end.' Did you ever hear that story?" * ''Series/ElChapulinColorado'': Trying to discourage a boy from his habit of [[CryingWolf telling lies]], Chapulin says the kid might end up like the boy from "Peter and the Wolf". After the boy says he doesn't know the story, Chapulin, who doesn't know it either, makes up one on the spot about a wolf that liked to tell lies to the point that, when he met the three little pigs, he claimed to be Little Red Riding Hood. In the end, he forgets to include Peter in his version and, when called out for this, he says Peter wrote the tale.* This was the shtick of ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'' character Roseanne Roseannadanna. She would answer a letter about a current topic, which would inevitably lead to an anecdote about meeting a celebrity doing something gross. When asked what does that have to do with the topic at hand, Roseannnadanna would respond with the CatchPhrase "It just goes to show, it's always something."[[/folder]][[folder:Music]]* Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Albuquerque" and "Everything you Know is Wrong". "Albuquerque" is definitely an example, but "Everything You Know Is Wrong" probably wasn't going anywhere in the first place.[[/folder]][[folder:Puppet Shows]]* ''Series/TheMuppetShow'' once did a reading on the Aesop of the Ant and the Grasshopper. Only in this version, when winter fell, [[spoiler:the grasshopper drove his sports car to Florida and the ant got stepped on]]. The reader, [[TheComicallySerious Sam the Eagle]], [[FlatWhat responds accordingly]] once he realizes what he's read.[[/folder]][[folder:Radio]]* ''Radio/OurMissBrooks'': In the episode "Friday The Thirteenth", Mrs. Davis tries to assure Miss Brooks her troubles with Mr. Conklin are merely psychological. Mrs. Davis relates how her brother Victor was afraid to enter a yard because of a dog that was always barking. Victor went to a psychiatrist who told him that the only reason the dog was barking was because the dog was afraid Victor would kick him....-->'''Mrs. Davis:''' After a couple months with the psychiatrist, my brother went right into that dog's yard and they stayed there together for over an hour.\\'''Miss Brooks:''' Really, what did they do?\\'''Mrs. Davis:''' They just stood around, biting and kicking each other. Luckily, a policeman came by and stopped it.\\'''Miss Brooks:''' [[SarcasmMode Yes, that was fortunate. Your brother couldn't have taken much more of that kicking.]][[/folder]][[folder:Theater]]* From Creator/GilbertAndSullivan's ''Theatre/{{Ruddigore}}'':-->'''[[TheOphelia Mad Margaret]]:''' You pity me? Then be my mother! The squirrel had a mother, but she drank and the squirrel fled! Hush! They sing a brave song in these parts -- it runs somewhat thus: ''[sings]''\\''The cat and the dog and the little puppee\\Sat down in a -- down in a -- in a --''\\I forget what they sat down in, but so the song goes![[/folder]][[folder:Video Games]]* ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'': The Soldier has a memorable one in [[http://www.teamfortress.com/soldier.htm "Meet the Soldier"]]-->"If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight! [[Literature/TheArtOfWar Sun Tzu said that]], and I'd say he knows a little bit more about fighting than you do, pal, because he [[BigBookOfWar invented it]], and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor. Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on earth, and then he herded them onto [[TheArk a boat]], and then he [[MemeticBadass beat the]] ''[[MemeticBadass crap]]'' [[MemeticBadass out of every single one.]] And from that day forward any time a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a ''[[{{Pun}} zoo]]''! (Beat) '''Unless it's a farm!'''"* In ''VideoGame/BetrayalAtKrondor'', the book Thiful's Bird Migrations ''starts'' with a discussion on birds, but since the author simply cannot keep on topic, it becomes the only book to provide bonuses to every skill in the game.* In ''VideoGame/KingdomOfLoathing'', most of what [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Grandpa Grandpa Sea Monkee]] has to say is some variation of this.** The wizard Fernswarthy's letter to his future grave-robber starts out with threats of a terrible curse for desecrating his grave, segues into a discussion about the merits of a career in chartered accountancy, segues ''again'' into a letter to an unnamed friend in the Distant Lands, and ends up as a shopping list. The curse also fails to work properly. Fernswarthy wasn't all there in his old age.* In ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2'', Otacon takes over as Snake's VoiceWithAnInternetConnection, and takes all the roles of Snake's former team. However, he does [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW8QPIId6E8 not that great of a job imitating Mei-Ling's quoting of classic literature.]] Call him enough and [[EasterEgg Mei-Ling hijacks his feed to tell him to shut up.]]-->'''Otacon:''' ''Remember the Deep family's fish, Snake!''* ''VideoGame/PokerNightAtTheInventory'' sees [[Webcomic/PennyArcade Tycho]] asking [[VideoGame/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice Max]] where he learned to play cards. Max starts recounting an adventure in Atlantic City, but by the time he finishes the anecdote he's forgotten there was a question he was supposed to answer.* A DummiedOut line from Cave Johnson in ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}'' has Cave bring up the story of "The Frog and the Scorpion" - but he's gotten it mixed up with the saying "I say jump, you say how high", and he's inverted it to "When I say �jump� I don�t want to hear �how high?� That means you�re not jumping!"* ''VisualNovel/DanganRonpa'''s Hagakure starts a story intending to show how his fortune-telling is different from 'occult' matters, and ends up explaining how aliens proved his 'all-beef' hamburger was 70% pork. Nobody else could follow it, either.* ''VideoGame/{{Deponia}}''. [[spoiler: The entire game. Both the opening and closing songs establish that the whole thing's being told by the singing narrator to explain why he shouldn't have to do chores... but in the closing song, he admits he doesn't really understand how it establishes this and claims the moral is that "The chorus guys rule."]][[/folder]][[folder:Web Comics]]* ''Webcomic/{{xkcd}}'' shows us what happens [[http://xkcd.com/872/ if a math professor starts rambling while reading fairy tales:]]-->"But while the ant gathered food... zzz... the grasshopper contracted to a point on a manifold that was ''not'' a 3-sphere."* ''Webcomic/{{Paranatural}}'':** Johnny gives Max this sage advice:--->'''Johnny:''' Listen, we're not so different, you n' me. Like, our faces are very similar.... Point is Max, we live in a world of similar things. Lots of stuff is the same as other stuff.... I forgot where I was going with this but the takeaway is your parent's don't love each other.** [[http://www.paranatural.net/index.php?id=334 More recently:]]--->'''Isabel:''' Max, one of these days you're going to [[CryingWolf cry wolf]], and there won't be a wolf, and then you'll be sorry.\\'''[[DeadpanSnarker Max]]:''' Yes Isabel, that's exactly how that fable goes.* Crystal from ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'' gives one of these to Haley in "Don't Split the Party":-->'''Crystal:''' It's like the old joke goes: I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun the early bird that catches the tiger by the tail.[[/folder]][[folder:Web Original]]* Given [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} his style of speech]], [[LetsPlay Let's Player]] LetsPlay/{{raocow}} has many of his stories turn into these, as whatever he started out talking about will slowly morph into something completely unrelated and somewhat incoherent.[[/folder]][[folder:Western Animation]]* ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':** In episode "Itchy and Scratchy: The Movie", Homer tries explaining to Bart why his punishment is for his own good.--->'''Homer:''' You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. ''[cheerily]'' The doctor thought I might have brain damage.\\'''Bart:''' Dad, what's the point of this story?\\'''Homer:''' I like stories.** In a similar vein, Homer is attempting to explain to Bart why he can't have the video game he covets.--->'''Homer:''' When I was your age, I wanted an electric football game more than anything in the world. And my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life.** Homer had a few actually, including this one from "Homer the Heretic":--->'''Homer:''' Kids, let me tell you about another so-called ''wicked'' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. [[UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}} And that man's name was...]] I forget. But the point is... I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He used to drive that blue car?** Pretty much everything Grandpa Simpson says:-->'''Grandpa Simpson:''' We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...** And then there's Reverend Lovejoy's sermon following Homer's supposed alien encounter:-->'''Reverend Lovejoy:''' I remember another gentle visitor from the heavens. He came in peace, and then died, only to come back to life. And his name was... Film/ETTheExtraTerrestrial. ''[sniffs]'' I love that little guy...** When convincing Bart to donate blood to Mr. Burns in hope of a reward:--->'''Homer:''' Don't you know the story of Hercules and the lion?\\'''Bart:''' Is it a Bible story?\\'''Homer:''' Yeah, probably. Anyway, once upon a time, there was a big mean lion, who got a [[AndroclesLion thorn in his paw]]. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So, they got Hercules, and Hercules used his mighty strength, and bingo! Anyway, the moral is the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big... thing... of riches.\\'''Bart:''' How did a lion get rich?\\'''Homer:''' It was the olden days!* Done hilariously in ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}''.-->"I saw this once on an after-school special. Mary and Sally, best friends! They did absolutely everything together. Then one day, Mary fell in with the ''wrong crowd.'' And Mary didn't have time for Sally anymore. Sally would say, 'Wanna go play a game or pretend we're kitties?' and Mary would say 'Uh-uh, I'm in with the ''wrong crowd''.' Sally was so sad she ran home, climbed up a tree and started eating cookies. A ton of cookies. She got huge, HUGE, '''HUGE,''' '''''HUGE!'''''...got any cookies, Mike?"* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'':** This absolute gem in "Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy VI: The Movie". When [=SpongeBob=] despairs about his lack of movie-making skills, [[{{CloudcuckooLander}} Mermaid Man]] tries to cheer him up thusly:--->'''Mermaid Man:''' Listen kid, this reminds me of Episode 902. We were surrounded. The Kelp Thing was to our right, and there was broccoli on the side. But if there's one thing I remember, it's how to forget! The rain in Spain stays mainly on the... SPACE! The final countdown. Skip to the... skip to the... loo, my darling! Loo! ''[dramatically collapses in [=SpongeBob=]'s arms]'' Now get out there, and let's finish this movie, kid.** "Something Smells": In this episode, Spongebob becomes convinced he's extremely ugly due to everyone avoiding him, not being aware that the reason for their aversion is the fact he actually had really bad breath that day. Patrick (who, not having a nose, is completely unaware of Spongebob's bad breath), attempts to make Spongebob feel better:--->'''Patrick:''' Maybe a story will cheer you up. It's called "Literature/TheUglyBarnacle". Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that [[KillEmAll everyone died]]. The end.\\'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' That didn't help at all!* Happened more than once on ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', mostly through the... wisdom of Fry, as the page quote brilliantly demonstrates.* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'':** From "White Rice":--->'''Francine:''' Are you sure about all this?\\'''Roger:''' Remember when Rudy from ''Series/TheCosbyShow'' got old and stopped being cute? I brought them Raven-Symone! Saw her on a Philadephia playground and knew she was a star, snatched her right up! Six months later, her parents saw her on TV and realized she was still alive... did some time for that. So, you ask, am I sure about this? I dunno.** When Stan makes an offhanded reference to ''Film/{{Ghostbusters|1984}}'', Roger angrily responds with a story:--->'''Roger:''' How dare you quote ''Ghostbusters'' to me! I wrote a movie called "Rump Busters" and threw it at a guy on the bus who looked like Creator/HaroldRamis. Two weeks later, ''Ghostbusters'' came out. Coincidence? Absolutely!** Roger attempts to reassure Stan that he's the perfect person to manage Stan's new restaurant:--->'''Roger:''' Trust me, I know the restaurant business. I managed a Hardees down in Myrtle Beach for three years. Everybody called it "Party Hardees" because of the butt-load of drugs I was moving through there. I was "sick" the day of the raid--got tipped off by this detective whose daughter I saved from drowning. But [[PersonaNonGrata I can't go back there]], he won't look the other way again. * ''[[WesternAnimation/PixarShorts Mater's Tall Tales]]'' is, as it suggests, Mater telling stories about how he supposedly met aliens, was a firetruck and a matador, amongst other things. Hilariously, around half-way through each retelling;-->'''Lightning [=McQueen=]:''' I'm pretty sure that didn't happen!\\'''Mater:''' Sure it did! You was there too!\\''[scene instantly depicts Lightning in the story, regardless of how bizarre the appearance; Lightning is usually screaming and requires Mater to save him]''* On ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce'', Meatwad attempts to explain why they need a new TV.-->'''Meatwad:''' How else am I gonna face the day? I ain't got no job, my wife left me, bills pilin' up, I got child support payments, and I don't know if any of what I just said is true, but I believe it.\\'''Master Shake:''' He ''is'' right. * ''WesternAnimation/{{Kaeloo}}'': In one episode, Kaeloo tries to give a speech on equality in the style of "I Had A Dream":-->'''Kaeloo:''' I had a dream last night. And I dreamt that... that... that's funny, I can't remember my dream.[[/folder]]----


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Landscaping Trends for Your Backyard Haven
By Jill Montag/Life@Home
Let's hope that a mild winter means a long, hot summer — especially for those planning plenty of pool time during these all too fleeting warm months. Whether you want to freshen up the look of an existing pool or are planning a backyard re-do with the addition of one this spring, take the time to figure out exactly what you want before it's — literally — set in stone.
The first stop in landscaping a pool area is all about decisions, from opting for stone versus shrubs to lighting and water features. Phil Pekar of Natural Design Landscaping in Saratoga Springs says several factors generally guide the decision-making process. "In this part of the country it's basically number one, budget; number two, how much will they use (the pool area); and number three, your visitor pattern. Some people will have a group of people at their pool every weekend; others like quiet time."
The type of stone can make a big difference in the overall look and feel of a pool area. Natural stone such as granite and south bay quartzite is popular right now, especially for benches, natural stone water features and near the edges of patios and pools. "It helps soften the edges of the pools and just adds a really nice element," says Albert Powers of Branches Landscapes in Broadalbin. If you like the look of natural stone but not the price tag, manufactured options abound that look just like the real thing but offer about a 20 percent cost savings.
Whatever kind of stone you choose, be sure to decide well in advance to ensure a coordinated look. "We usually have the guys do the stamped concrete so it kind of mimics the stone that we're going to put on the outside (of the pool)," says Anthony Reo of Pearl Landscaping & Stone in Albany. "So that's kind of important for people who are putting in pools to make sure (of), because sometimes we'll show up and they'll have a grey concrete and then they want a tan paver and it doesn't go."
Stone is also making an appearance in the plant beds surrounding pools. Powers says using small round stones instead of mulch can help keep the pool clean, especially if you have little ones playing nearby. The idea is that mulch sticks to toys and ends up in the pool, and guess who has to clean up the mess?
Powers using this smaller stone in small doses, though. "If you have a big concrete patio or a paver patio around your pool and then you put all stones in your beds," he says, "it just starts to get too industrial-feeling … so we try to mix in grass in those areas whenever we can."
For flowers and greenery, color that lasts all summer long is ideal. Alan Decker of Decker's Landscape & Aquatics in Pattersonville suggests several newer strains of hydrangeas and Knock Out roses that flower throughout the season rather than just three to four weeks, like many other perennials. "It's just a matter of getting enough color so you have color changing throughout the season between perennials and shrubs," he says.
If you go with lots of plantings, be careful to avoid flowers that attract bees. In fact, Powers says many of his clients are shunning flowers altogether. "They all want the flowers (but) when we actually get down to the nitty gritty, when it's time to install them a lot of customers veer away from them," he says. "They don't want to draw bees."
If you want to make a major statement in your backyard, consider adding a feature such as a waterfall to your pool area. Decker's company now installs between 30 and 40 waterfalls a year. "A lot of people like to travel to the Adirondacks," he says, "and putting in a waterfall gives you the sound of running water all the time. Then adding a fire pit, it almost makes you feel like you are camping but you're walking right out your door and you can go right back in to the convenience of your house."
Waterfalls aren't for everyone — or for every budget, as they can easily cost more than $10,000 — but they have gained popularity in the Capital Region the last several years. The same goes with intricate lighting in the pool area, ranging from uplighting trees and other structures with LED lighting to using fiberoptic lighting to make the water change colors at night.
All this is part of a move, say several landscapers, toward creating a true outdoor room where family and friends can enjoy every minute of the short swimming season. "If you just put in a basic pool, you swim in it and you lay there," says Decker. "But at least now if you landscape around it and put a waterfall and a fire pit, you can entertain around it. … It's more interactive. … I think the way the economy is has actually made people realize that family is important and if you spend money in the house you can actually keep everybody closer. It's actually bringing some of that old-fashioned value back to people's houses."
(Photos Courtesy Branches Landscapes)

subset: commoncrawl


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GREEN-WAY PRO LANDSCAPING LLC. started as a little weed mowing company called Leiba Lawn Service in Pueblo Colorado, in 1998. We started with just one push mower and a rake.Over the years as our clients requested more services from us, that's how we really began to grow. Our number one goal at GREEN-WAY PRO LANDSCAPING LLC is to please you, our clients, in everything we do. Quality is our standard, not our goal.
We are a full-service commercial and resdenial landscaping management company. we offer property maintenance, in pest control through a qualified applicator company sub, irrigation enhancement and installation services. We structure our organization to cater to the landscape maintenance,enhancement, snow removal renovation, installation and information needs of our clients.
GREEN-WAY PRO LANDSCAPING LLC. professionals assist our clients with accessing their porperties. developing specific service standards tailored to their property's needs, renovation designs and installations, irrigation installation and renovation we also develope a master plan tomitigate the budgetary impact of "wrong plant and location, over water and the aging of the plant.
When you walk out your door do you see the landscaping that you dreamed of?Do you feel like great quality landscaping is out of your reach?
With Green-Way Pro Landscaping llc your dream landscaping for your home is closer within your reach then you thought. We pride ourselves on quality work that is done in a timily fashion at competitive prices. Our services encompass a wide range of landscaping needs from weekly mowing, to Xeriscaping, to sprinkler systems installation and repairs. Contact us to make your home everything you ever dreamed of...


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Radio Show: Discover Insider Secrets to Internet Marketing
The worlds of Search Engine Optimization (SEO) and Social Media Marketing are constantly changing, but one thing remains the same: good, timely content is the key to top search rankings. Coryon Redd, has been winning the Internet marketing game for almost 15 years now. He is the CEO of batteries4less.com and last … Continue reading


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To give the storage into the kitchen, the house owners need to set up the kitchen cabinet and the kitchen island, while when they want to put their collections of ceramic eating utensils, they can install the display cabinet. Or, they can get another idea by placing the collections in the empty area which is located on the top of kitchen cabinet.
The house owners have to fill their California kitchen design with the furniture such as kitchen cabinet, kitchen island and display cabinet. They might choose the dark colors like brown and black, or the bright colors which are cream and white. Actually, those colors are the perfect colors for the California kitchen design. Besides that, the furniture has the characteristic as having the carving in the edge of furniture.
The California kitchen design has the simple design to liven up the kitchen. It is suitable for any kitchen sizes, for example the small kitchen size and the large kitchen size. This design also gives the modest accent, and it is appropriate for those who like the simplicity. What should the house owners do to decorate the California kitchen design into their house?
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iRoach 2 (iPhone) Review: Gross, In a Fun Way
You know what? iRoach 2 is probably the first iPhone game that I heard my girlfriend describe as disgusting. The game lets you squish not only the ubiquitous cockroach, but also other critters like spiders and flies. The challenge here is that these insects are pretty fast, and you'll need to quickly and accurately tap on the screen to squish them.
Some of the bigger bugs will need several taps, like the Madagascar hissing cockroach, and mis-taps will deduct from your total points. While the opportunity to squish bugs without getting your hands dirty (or feeling squirmish with the real thing) is actually pretty fun, the best part about iRoach 2 is the graphics! There's a certain attention of detail given to the bugs (both intact and squished) which lends itself to the whole squishing experience.
The objective of the game is basically to gain as many points as you can from squishing bugs and to keep them from invading. Spray cans provide additional points and like I've mentioned earlier, mis-tapping and squishing lady bugs (don't ask me why) will result in points deduction.
iRoach 2 comes with both Facebook and Twitter connectivity along with OpenFeint support for leaderboards and achievements as well. Social media overkill? You bet, but I kinda like GameCenter a little more than OpenFeint at the moment. Anyways, don't let that be a stumbling block because iRoach 2 comes highly recommended.
The game is currently available on the Apple App Store at a price of USD 0.99. Check it out over here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/iroach-2/id318696698?mt=8#Powered by Sidelines
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Nine Over Ten 9/10 » iRoach 2 (iPhone) Review: Gross, In a Fun Way…
You know what? iRoach 2 is probably the first iPhone game that I heard my girlfriend describe as disgusting. The game lets you squish not only the ubiquitous cockroach, but also other critters like spiders and flies….


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Roll-over ads...
Is the banner at the top always going to be roll-over adds that get bigger?!?! They're driving me crazy because they get bigger and then cover up part of what I want to read. I even like the show they're advertising, but :banghead:
Are they going to stay like that? Or is the only way to get rid of them paying? How much is it anyway? And I've heard that a lot of people pay but the ads don't go away - any input??
ETA - It just happened as I tried to go up to edit the post! Blah!
Re: Roll-over ads...
I agree it is very annoying. Makes me not want to visit so much.
Re: Roll-over ads...
They are awful!
Re: Roll-over ads...
This is terrible and making me not want to visit this site so much. I am so very tired of clicking the little "x" lately.
Re: Roll-over ads...
If you are a site supporter you won't get ads.
I also heard that if you use firefox they don't do ads either.
the reason there are ads is to help run this site for those that don't pay for the site supporter.
Re: Roll-over ads...
This is why I started using the mobile app almost exclusively. If you pay to be a site supporter do all the ads go away? I think it says something about still having one ad per page, but I'm not sure.
Re: Roll-over ads...
The thing is, this just started like 2 days ago.
Re: Roll-over ads...
I'm ok with ads for sure, but these new ones are obnoxious and ridiculous.
Re: Roll-over ads...
I was just thinking about posting about this exact thing. It's so annoying and just started happening today for me, and it's only one particular ad as far as I know.
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New to area(2 Posts)
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Ravina the Witch? By Junko Mizuno - Exhibit and Signing
Ravina the Witch? By Junko Mizuno - Exhibit and Signing
当ギャラリー アトリウム にて同時進行イベント:
In celebration of the english release of Junko Mizuno's graphic novel: Ravina The Witch?, Nucleus is proud to host an exhibition of original paintings from the pages of this beautiful and austere fantasy comic. Listen to a recorded narration of "Ravina The Witch?" as you enjoy the artwork throughout the gallery.
Mizuno is a highly sought after visual artist, and it's always exciting to see more of her work made available in English. The presentation of Ravina The Witch brings to mind the worlds of Cinderalla or Labyrinth, but Mizuno's work is decidedly more mature than those, so readers should not expect something suitable for an all-ages audience


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You"Are you okay?" She asks. Your eyes shoot open and you lean forward so your noses are a mere inch or two apart.
"Yes, I'm fine." You say. After a whole lifetime of sitting in the background watching Claire talk to others, you feel like now is finally your time. "I was just meditating. You know, like they do in Nippon." Then without a second of pause you continue. "So, Claire, what are you doing tonight?" You say tonight in a low growl trying to sound suave and mask any chance of your voice cracking.
"Umm, the mall. Remember? I told you that already."
"Oh yeah." You say, looking forward out the windshield. In the rearview mirror you see your sister looking back at you. Forget her, you think.
"What about you?" Clair asks, "What are you doing tonight?"
"Paladin. Level 80." You repeat.
"Oh, okay, what?"
"I heal people. It isn't as flashy as some of the other classes, but someone has to do the hard work." You say, lifting your arm up and placing it around her neck, "if it weren't for people like me, no one would be able to win. I'm pretty important."
As soon as you finish stating your ability, the car comes to a screeching stop. Your sister tells you to get out. You try to say that Claire likes having you there, but she is shaking her head no. Well, it doesn't matter. You need a soda, and they are taking you. Your sister tells you to shut the hell up, then grabs you by your hair and yanks it towards the door. In pain, you break down, and with tears welling in your eyes, you open the door and get out.
"I love you." You say as the door closes, but you doubt they hear you over the laughter. Goodbye, Claire.
We're not going to solve gun massacres with bad manners, people.
The guns are gone. Now what happens to all those paper targets? Don't tell me you forgot about the paper targets. The ones hanging from little clips on fancy clotheslines at shooting ranges. With no guns to destroy these legions of paper bastards, they go unchecked.
A sign proclaiming "BACTA: DA FUTURE" marks the town's medical clinic
1998: I upload dave.pcx, and change the course of history
Set goals for yourself, and fulfill them. Absurd! Only in video games!
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Copyright ©2018 Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka & Something Awful LLC.


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McComsey Career Development Center
Career Websites
Website Search
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Welcome to Academic Careers Online, the ultimate global academic job site for teaching jobs, education jobs, research jobs, and professional jobs in education and academia.
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Username: Alfred, Password: GoSaxons CEI-Internships (formerly Career Education Institutes), a company that provides individually verified information and resources students seeking internship opportunites. We have been in the business of bringing industry and interns together for over 16 years.


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Supplier Homepage Product Laminated Glass 12.76mm Wind Breaks Glass
12.76mm Wind Breaks Glass
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- Size: 3660*2440mm as Demand
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12.76mm wind breaks glass
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Read All About It!
The Bishop's Secret, written for White Box: Fantastic Medieval Adventure Game, was released to my few Patrons yesterday. This short adventure was written in hopes that it could dropped into your Old School game with minimal changes.
This marks my third release of Dangerous Places for OSR Systems. The first, Narvon's Stair, is available to everyone for nothing more than the time it takes to download. Last month saw the arrival of Goshahri: The City in a Cave, a ruin in the process of being restored by miscreants under the iron fist of the Bandit King. I plan to return to Goshahri for at least one more adventure.
For March, I'm going to shift away from fantasy into horror with The Strange Case of the Bell Witch Bootleggers, a one-shot descent into madness and terror written for The Cthulhu Hack. I also still plan on fleshing out Goshahri a bit with The Harpy's Nest, a more detailed description of a location in the aforementioned release that go short shrifted because I didn't manage my time well enough.
You can get in on the Old School action by becoming one my patrons. It won't ever cost you more than $1 a month.
In other news, I think I'm nearly ready to release The Four Color Hack. It's changed quite a bit from its initial pay-what-you-want release. I've got one last section to write in which I'm including an assortment of villains and threats. I'll also probably include a short, introductory scenario. Part of me would like The Four Color Hack to be available print-on-demand, but I'm not sure I can figure out how to correctly format, et cetera, the necessary files. I'm looking at Lulu, which seems to have a pretty user-friendly set up. Maybe during the downtime of Spring Break I can give it a go.
I have two other major (for me) projects that I need to finish. The first is the long-neglected Boogie Knights of the Round Table in which the heroes fight the Man with the powers of song and dance. No, really. I've run one playtest of the system to rave reviews. I've also dusted off an idea I had for a fantasy game involving real-world children transported to a world of twisted fairy tales very much inspired by Grimm and Little Fears. Unfortunately, my original work on it quickly displeased me, and I abandoned the project, but it's back now with a simpler system built on The Black Hack.
So, in short, I've got some big (for me) plans for 2017, and I seem to be off to a good start. Huzzah.


text:
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so why didn't the devils flames or whatever you call them not help the Heat win last years finals? also the Thunder where the visting team and the visiting team ALWAYS gets a s****y intro..and why was number 6 introduced first? that would be because number 6 is Labron James, the "face" of the heat...go outside my friend and get some fresh air..you need it
What I find weird about people saying OKC is an "inexperienced team"...


text:
About ME
I am an Assistant Professor in the Department of Computer Science at Southern Illinois University Carbondale.
I lead the SOFTSEARCH (SOFTware engineering reSEARCH group) lab at SIUC.
My general research interests lie in the area of software engineering.
My research spans peer code review, software security, android security, malware detection, cybersecurity, mining software repositories, empirical software engineering, and social network analysis.
Prior to joining SIU, I was a postdoctoral associate in the Department of Computer Science at Virginia Tech working with Dr. Danfeng (Daphne) Yao. I completed my Ph.D. in Computer Science under Dr. Jeffrey C. Carver at the University of Alabama in 2015. I received my MS in Computer Science in 2012 from University of Alabama, and Bachelors in Computer Science and Engineering in 2006 from Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology (BUET).


text:
Palestinians to apply for UN status despite pressure: Abbas
September 8th, 2012 - 10:17 pm ICT by IANS
Ramallah, Sep 8 (IANS) Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas Saturday stressed that a request for being made a non-member state would be submitted to the United Nations General Assembly this month ... Read more...
Posted in World |
Egypt presidential poll results to be announced Sunday
June 23rd, 2012 - 10:04 pm ICT by IANS
Cairo, June 23 (IANS/RIA Novosti) The official results of Egypt's presidential election will be announced Sunday at 5 p.m. (1300 GMT), state TV reported Saturday.The results of the June 16-17 ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Palestinian reconciliation unlikely in 2012: Hamas official
March 31st, 2012 - 11:32 pm ICT by IANS
Gaza, March 31 (IANS) A Hamas official Saturday ruled out the possibility that the Palestinian reconciliation will take place this year, blaming mainly Israel and the US for blocking it.... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
100 detained at Moscow rally
March 6th, 2012 - 2:15 am ICT by IANS
Moscow, March 6 (IANS/RIA Novosti) About 100 activists of opposition group The Other Russia were detained during an unsanctioned protest in Moscow.The rally was held near the office of the ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Egypt's Islamists sweep run-off in 2nd-stage parliamentary vote
December 25th, 2011 - 1:05 am ICT by IANS
Cairo, Dec 24 (IANS) The turnout of the run-off in the second stage of the Egyptian parliamentary elections hit 43 percent, chairman of the High Judicial Elections Commission Abdel- Moez ... Read more...
Posted in Uncategorized |
Egypt's ruling military council chief meets president hopefuls
November 27th, 2011 - 1:26 am ICT by IANS
Cairo, Nov 26 (IANS) Head of Egypt's ruling Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF), Hussein Tantawi Saturday met two potential presidential candidates and discussed with them the current situation ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Gilani, Qureshi among many ministers yet to send educational degrees for verification
October 16th, 2010 - 2:39 pm ICT by ANI
Islamabad, Oct 16(ANI): Pakistan Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani and Foreign Minister Shah Mehmood Qureshi are among over 400 lawmakers whose graduation degrees are yet to be verified by the Higher ... Read more...
Posted in South Asia |
Maldives' poll panel wants to learn from Indian counterpart
January 25th, 2010 - 7:10 pm ICT by IANS
New Delhi, Jan 25 (IANS) The Maldives' newly-independent Elections Commission wants to learn "a lot" from its Indian counterpart, one of its commissioners said Monday. "We are the first ever independent ... Read more...
Posted in Uncategorized |
Abbas says stalled peace process cause for his stepping down
December 31st, 2009 - 3:04 am ICT by IANS
Riyadh, Dec 31 (DPA) Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas said Wednesday the stalled peace process is the reason he will not run for a second term in office. "The objective is to achieve a ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
EU monitors say 1.5 million Afghan votes rigged (Lead)
September 16th, 2009 - 9:04 pm ICT by IANS
Kabul, Sep 16 (DPA) European Union (EU) election monitors said Wednesday that up to 1.5 million votes, one quarter of all ballots, had been subject to manipulation or were suspected of having ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Karzai hails Afghan election results (Lead)
September 9th, 2009 - 6:17 pm ICT by IANS
Kabul, Sep 9 (DPA) Afghan President Hamid Karzai Wednesday welcomed the partial election results announced by the Independent Elections Commission, ignoring reports of "clear proof" of fraud by a UN-backed commission. Karzai ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Taliban cut off voters' fingers after Afghan elections
August 22nd, 2009 - 5:09 pm ICT by IANS
Kabul, Aug 22 (DPA) Afghan election observers said Saturday that Taliban militants chopped off fingers of two voters in southern Afghanistan for casting their ballots, while the elections commission said 11 ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Rivals plan to challenge as Yudhoyono declared winner
July 25th, 2009 - 1:36 pm ICT by IANS
Jakarta, July 25 (DPA) Indonesia's General Elections commission Saturday declared President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono the winner of this month's presidential election, but his rivals vowed to challenge the conduct of the polls, ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Yudhoyono wins Indonesian presidential poll
July 24th, 2009 - 12:14 pm ICT by IANS
Jakarta, July 24 (DPA) Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono won the country's July 8 presidential election with 60.8 percent of the votes, the General Elections Commission said. Yudhoyono collected nearly 74 million votes ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Israel braces for political instability after poll results
February 13th, 2009 - 9:33 pm ICT by IANS
Tel Aviv, Feb 13 (DPA) Israel's two largest parties dug in Friday and insisted they each be allowed to form the next government, after final election results published overnight confirmed they were ... Read more...
Posted in Politics |
Bangladesh deploys troops ahead of polls
December 20th, 2008 - 4:50 pm ICT by IANS
Dhaka, Dec 20 (DPA) Military troops fanned out across Bangladesh Saturday to assist in maintaining law and order for the Dec 29 parliamentary polls to return the south Asian nation to democracy, ... Read more...
Posted in World |
Georgia's ruling party wins parliamentary election
May 23rd, 2008 - 8:25 pm ICT by admin
Xinhua Moscow, May 23 (Xinhua) Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili's United National Movement has won the May 21 parliamentary election with 59.5 percent of the vote, the Central Elections Commission (CEC) announced Friday. According ... Read more...
Posted in World |


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- Fibonacci Calculator
- Up to F50000, at high speed.
- MFSP User Accounts
- Extra features, no extra charge!
Tools, Problems & More
- Problem of the Week
- Horizontal and Vertical (6/6/10)
- Primality Checker
- Pi Calculator
- Forum Registration
Math for Smarty Pants
A site for people that think they are math smarty pants and those that are.
We provide online mathematical tools, problems, and much more. A problem database is also in the works, as well as user accounts to allow uploading of files and editing of the problems by anyone.
Mathematical Tools & MorePosted on Tuesday, Oct 2nd, 2007 at 8:24 PM
Recently, the Fibonacci Calculator was released. This PHP script can calculate the nth Fibonacci number at high speed, for all n below 50,000. This script, in fact, does not use a recursive formula, or even an implementation of Binet's. I've found that scripts based on those two tend to run much more slowly as n grew, whereas a certain loop (the source can be found here) ran far faster. However, this calculator, along with the Primality Tester, are only the beginning. I am currently working on an advanced PHP expression evaluator. It will be able to handle expressions like:
2^10000 10000! 2^(phi+pi^(e-log(2*sin((5*pi)/7)))) sqrt(f(10)^77) (phi^101)/(phi^202 - (-1)^101) phi^(z(pi)) 273^273 sin(cos(tan(sec(csc(cot(x))))))
In addition, it will have a huge array of functions: some to test for primality, for the prime factorization of the number, for the geometric/arithmetic/harmonic/root means, and much more. The code, once the evaluator is finished, will be available for download by anyone...
Read more →


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Avondale Bed & Breakfast is situated in the heart of Northern Ireland, approximately 2 miles from Cookstown and 7 miles from Dungannon, it is ideally located as a gateway to the whole country.
It is a family run establishment with a unique Irish home away from home feeling. If you like Irish music then you'll love Avondale Bed & Breakfast.
We are recognised by the Northern Ireland Tourist Board and proudly wear the NITB badge.
Were glad you have arrived at Avondalebb.co.uk, have a look around and if you have any questions phone Ailsa or Tom now on +44 28 8676 4013 or email email@example.com and we will be only too happy to help you.


text:
Organize your favourite listings
Sign up to keep track of your favourite spaces and revisit them later.
Standard unit with small waiting room in front and office in back. Ideal for a single user. Unit faces Granville Street. An allowance for tenant improvements available.
The Hycroft Building is located at the intersection of Granville and West 16th Avenue, with great exposure to the South Granville shopping district. Regarded as one of the most prestigious shopping areas in the City, residents and tenants are within close proximity to a wide array of eateries and bars. Just south of Hycroft is the Shaughnessy residential area and the main route to Vancouver International Airport.


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Taking The Trash Out NakedI used to live in a house with a long driveway that ended at right angles to a busy street. The trash was picked up every morning in this neighborhood so I took it out to the end of the driveway every night and I usually only wore a towel around my waist. One night the neighbor's dog was loose and in a playful mood grabbed my towel. My attempts to get it back only made him run away with it! I figured the only way to get him to drop it was to ignore him. So, I went down the driveway with only the trash bag in front of me.
As I headed for the street my heart was thudding loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear but I could not stop. Cars passed and people walked by but no one noticed. By the time I reached the end I was too intoxicated to care if I was seen or not. Perversely, I realized wanted to be caught!
I put down the trash bag and stood there in the street until I saw the lights of a car and deliberately began to walk back. I don't know if they saw me but it did not stop nor did I notice anyone else during that long walk back.
I did this naked every night after this and had some encounters but that's another story.
TropicMoon 61-65, M 2 Responses 1 Oct 25, 2011
I take out my trash nude when I can. Usually when the temperature is 58 deg F or more. But it is 10:00pm or later and I live at the end of a cul-de-sac with no neighbors ( the house across the street is vacant).


text:
Already a paid subscriber but not registered for online access yet? For instructions on how to get premium web access, click here.
Brewer will get budget, sans sales tax referral
The fate of two-months-overdue budget aimed at solving a $3.2 billion deficit now rests in the hands of Gov. Jan Brewer, as lawmakers delivered the plan to her eight weeks into a special legislative session called specifically to address the financial problems.


text:
Forgot your password? Enter the email address you signed up with and we will send you a link to create a new password.
Your password reset has been submitted to the address provided.
Not specified
Providing temporary use of web-based software application for use in online marketing and advertising; providing temporary use of web-based software to enable sharing of content and comments among users, namely for purposes of online advertising and marketing; providing temporary use of non-downloadable software for analyzing and reporting on Internet traffic and for analyzing the effectiveness of website marketing, and for searching and viewing marketing research; providing temporary use of online non-downloadable software for use in generating online marketing; software as a service (SAAS) services featuring software for use in online marketing and advertising; application service provider (ASP) featuring software for tracking website activity and managing, monitoring, tracking and optimizing the performance and effectiveness of advertisements
Business in MORRISTOWN, NJ
Business in Morristown, NJ


text:
Last week, as I was making coffee and heard the familiar "beep" of a new chat message, I smiled when I saw the message from was my friend James Altucher.
Someone had asked James, "What's the best way to crowdfund to raise money for my project?" for Ask Altucher, the daily Q&A podcast that he co-hosts with his wife Claudia.
James asked me if I'd jump on the show for 10 minutes and explain "how to crowdfund".
Only 10 minutes?
As I was setting up my microphone, I was wondering how I could cover anything useful about crowdfunding in only ten minutes.
We did it anyway and ended up riffing for 25 minutes. We covered a lot of great stuff, including:
- Why creatives have trouble asking for money (and why crowdfunding is the perfect solution for that) (4:15)
- When the concept of Kickstarter was conceived (and why it didn't get built until years later) (5:14)
- How much money you should try to raise in your crowdfunding project (5:40)
- One of the biggest myths about crowdfunding (6:12)
- How the current largest Kickstarter project ever…actually failed the first time (6:28)
- How to get people to keep contributing once you hit your goal (7:40)
- One specific way to get the press to cover your project (8:45)
- The biggest myth about what press does (and doesn't do) for your crowdfunding project (9:30)
- The one tactic you should steal from infomercials (9:50)
- How design impacts your crowdfunding success (11:00)
- How people view crowdfunding projects (12:20)
- One of the biggest mistakes I see in crowdfunding (and what to do instead) (12:50)
- How Matt Kepnes (Nomadic Matt) tripled his crowdfunding goal, even though his app only cost $1 (14:00)
- What kinds of rewards reduce production and shipping costs (15:00)
- How to make a great crowdfunding video (including what to address in the first 10 seconds) (16:25)
- Why you should think "bottom-up" not "top-down" when promoting your project (18:10)
- How Mike Del Ponte segmented and use his personal address book to find initial backers for his project (18:45)
- The FIRST thing anyone who is even thinking about doing a crowdfunding project should do today (19:30)
- How Kittyo used this trick to find 13,000 pre-launch emails and was funded in 36 minutes, 200% funded on the first day and raised over $270,000 (20:45)
- How I got started helping people with crowdfunding (23:00)
- Why good crowdfunding is good marketing (24:00)
Click the player below to listen directly or click here to open the episode in iTunes.
Ask Altucher: Ep 170 What's The Best Way to Crowdfund?
The Power of Instant Media
It's worth noting how quickly this all happened.
- James pinged me on chat…
- 12 minutes later, we were all chatting on the air.
- Less than 24 hours later, the episode was live in iTunes and Stitcher for anyone in the world with an internet connection to listen to, for free.
No filters. No scheduling.
No gatekeepers who can say "no".
Just James and Claudia, generously and instantly shipping their art for free, while building trust and permission with an audience who wants to hear from them.
You have this same opportunity. We all do.
Enjoy the holidays. Enjoy the your time with your family. Laugh. Play games. Have some egg nog.
But it's worth spending some time thinking about what kind of media you can create?
What kind of art can you ship to start building trust and permission with people, so when you launch your crowdfunding project, they're not only already on-board, they're actually excited to hear from you?
Leave a comment below.
Enjoy the episode, and happy holidays!
See you next year!
– Clay


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Ideas for glowing, wholesome pores and skin from the dermatologist Can natural skincare assist you look higher? Is your complexion sallow? Are you scuffling with pores and skin issues pushed by irritation like dandruff, rosacea or pimples? Properly, … [Continue reading]
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Weekly Espresso Date
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For more on the storm, see our blog coverage here.
BOSTON — Massachusetts residents were told by Gov. Deval Patrick to stay off the roads or face a penalty as a huge storm hit the state Friday, bringing with it up to 3 feet of snow, wind gusts of up to 60 mph, coastal flooding and hundreds of thousands of power outages.
With much of eastern Massachusetts under a blizzard warning until 1 p.m. Saturday, Patrick, in a midday Friday news conference, declared a state of emergency and announced that he's signed an executive order banning vehicle traffic statewide as of 4 p.m. Friday.
Snowstorm Nemo Hits Mass.
- Power Outage Maps: NStar, National Grid
- MEMA: Power outage safety tips
- WCVB-TV: School, event cancellations, delays
- Transportation Alerts: MBTA, Logan, Amtrak
- MEMA: Winter weather safety tips
- Twitter List: Boston meteorologists, sources
- As It Happened: Snowstorm Wallops Mass.
- Gov. Patrick Tours Areas Hit Hard By Snowstorm
- Storm Photos: Friday, Saturday, Sunday
- Photos: Your #ViewFromMyWindow snapshots
- Instagrams: How you spent the snowstorm
Patrick said as the storm gains strength it will bring "extremely dangerous conditions" with bands of snow dropping up to 2 to 3 inches per hour at the height of the blizzard, prompting whiteout conditions.
The ban has exceptions for public safety, utility and essential health care workers; the media; "travel necessary to maintain and deliver critical private sector services" and "travel to support business operations that provide critical services to the public." It will be in effect until further notice.
Patrick said drivers seen on roadways after 4 p.m. could face a maximum penalty of up to one year in prison or a $500 fine, but he conceded such penalties are unlikely.
"The point is not to figure out how to come down hard on people, it's to emphasize how critical it is that non-essential travel on the road cease during this storm and during the immediate aftermath," he said.
Officials said it's the first time the state has banned traffic on roads since the Blizzard of '78.
Earlier Friday, state Highway Administrator Frank DePaola referenced the famed storm. "We want to avoid the Blizzard of '78 condition where people were stuck on roadways, abandoned their vehicles, which then prevented snow and ice clearing operations," he said.
Light snow began falling just before 10 a.m. in Boston; the worst conditions are predicted for around 10 p.m. Friday. The forecast calls for heavy, drifting snow with little or no visibility.
The MBTA suspended all service — subways, commuter trains, buses — at 3:30 p.m. Friday.
Logan International Airport said it would try to stay open during the storm but airlines canceled many flights through Saturday.
Amtrak also suspended all Northeast Corridor trains on Friday afternoon.
In Boston, a snow emergency and parking ban went into effect at noon on Friday.
A flood warning is in effect until Saturday noon for the state's east-facing coastline. The National Weather Service warned of moderate to major coastal flooding at high tide Saturday morning, with large waves and a 2- to 3-foot storm surge that could damage shorefront homes, cause beach erosion, and make some coastal roads temporarily impassable.
Marshfield, Revere, Scituate, Sandwich Harbor and the east coast of Nantucket were among the areas that could be vulnerable to major flooding, according to the weather service.
Scituate Town Administrator Patricia Vinchesi said a shelter was set up at the high school.
"We've advised the residents in the areas most prone to coastal flooding to seek alternate shelter before the storm and definitely before the high tides, and we're particularly emphasizing that to residents in the northern part of Humarock," she said.
The Red Cross said it was getting shelters ready across the state; three were opened on Cape Cod, one was opened on Martha's Vineyard, and a dozen are on standby.
Stores throughout the state were packed Friday with people buying food, shovels, batteries and other storm supplies.
"I came to get some broccoli and vegetables and stuff like that," said Boston's Larry Jones, at the South Bay Stop & Shop, "but there's nothing here. It's pretty crazy."
State Energy Secretary Rick Sullivan said officials have been in contact with all four of the state's utilities and each had filed an action plan with the state. Work to restore power won't start until the storm is over.
"We've categorized it as a Level 5 storm, which is the highest category we have," said National Grid President Marcy Reed. "That means we do expect outages which could be greater than three days."
"The potential of widespread power outages is probably our biggest issue, simply because we're putting people in harm's way relative to the lack of heat," said Peter Judge, spokesman for the Massachusetts Emergency Management Agency.
The storm comes almost 35 years to the day after the Blizzard of '78. That storm, which claimed dozens of lives, left about 27 inches of snow in Boston and packed hurricane-force winds and flooding that caused extensive damage along the coast.
With reporting by The Associated Press and the WBUR Newsroom


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Sharing Instagram images is easier than ever with the new embed feature recently introduced. These images will have a new share button that once clicked will reveal the embed code that can be placed into a web page. The content of course, still belongs to the owner and this means that the username will be clearly visible, clicking on this will take the viewer to the users Instagram page, cool!
According to a post on the Instagram Blog;
Now, when you visit an Instagram photo or video page on your desktop web browser, you'll see a new share button on the right side of your photo (just under the comments button). Click the button to see the embed code. Copy the block of text it gives you and paste it into your blog, website or article. When you hit publish, the photo or video will appear.
Source: Instagram


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Scooter Braun Marries Yael Cohen, Gets Serenaded by Justin Bieber
Sorry, Jessica Simpson and Eric Johnson. But you weren't the only stars to get married this weekend.
Scooter Braun, the manager and very close friend of Justin Bieber, exchanged vows on Saturday with Yael Cohen in Whistler.
Posted in: Scooter Braun


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Columbus, OH (PRWEB) December 16, 2013
Twenty year old Devante "Craze" Mack was born and raised in Columbus, OH. He's had a natural talent for writing poetry since the age of 11. He started rapping around 15 years old but didn't actually want to become an industry artist until the 10th grade when he met Dominique Elder (manager). Though Craze has been writing for so long, he just recently released his debut mixtape By The Code to the streets and followed it up with the new release Best of My City Vol. 1.
Best of My City Vol. 1 features production from a wide range of producers such as Vybe Beatz, Quis Tha Flight, Wonya Love, Trap Official, Street Empires, Dion Lee, Jay Stars, Kid Flash, Ceilings Beats, Davinci and Superstar O. While the project includes many producers, artist guest appearances on the project are kept to a minimum, enlisting only the artist Big James on the song "It's A Go".
Craze's new mixtape from Take Off Squad Entertainment is sure to keep his fans engaged until his next project is released. Until then, Best of My City Vol. 1 is available for free download on mixtape sites across the net including Datpiff.com and Coast2CoastMixtapes.com. Follow Craze on Twitter @Craze_TOS.
About Coast 2 Coast Mixtapes:
Coast 2 Coast Mixtapes are the most widely distributed mixtapes in the world, with over 100 million downloads/plays generated by over 200 volumes officially hosted by major artists. Coast 2 Coast has a solid reach in the new music industry with a digital magazine, DJ coalition, industry tips blog, yearly convention, and more. Coast 2 Coast Mixtapes represents a unique opportunity for artists of all urban genres, from major to indie. For more information, visit http://www.coast2coastmixtapes.com.


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What's Next for the Oakland Raiders After Initial Wave of Free-Agent Signings?March 27, 2014
Over the last decade, being a fan of the Oakland Raiders has been a long, brutal endeavor.
Still, through all of the chaos and disappointment, if you flip on the television on any given Sunday, you'll always hear the crowd roar with conviction as their beloved Raiders take the field.
That's just how they're programmed.
Talking about keeping the faith during tough times, diehard Raiders fan Jaime Meza told me, "Hope dies last."
Witnessing the end of Bo Jackson's career, the "Tuck Rule" and the whole JaMarcus Russell debacle has toughened the skin of fans like Jaime.
This offseason, Raiders general manager Reggie McKenzie finally has a chance to bring a much-needed course correction to this historic franchise.
Using a lofty amount of cap space, per Over the Cap, to bring in a band of veteran players, McKenzie has tried to enhance this roster with leadership and production.
Unfortunately in this league, no matter how many moves you make, the job of a general manager is never quite finished.
Looking ahead to what else has to get done this offseason, it's time to find out what's next for McKenzie and the Raiders after the initial wave of free-agent signings.
Draft an Impact Player
Though the roster looks a lot better than it did just a couple of weeks back, there are still plenty of needs that can be addressed during the upcoming draft.
Matt Schaub's arrival in Oakland, per ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter, could throw a wrench in the plans of McKenzie going after a franchise quarterback with the fifth overall pick.
During a conference call with reporters—via Raiders.com—head coach Dennis Allen indicated that not only is Schaub going to be the team's starter for the 2014 season, but he believes the former Houston Texans QB is more than just a one-year solution.
If the decision to secure a franchise quarterback gets prolonged, McKenzie has to make sure this team drafts an impact player in the first round.
Clemson wide receiver Sammy Watkins, arguably the most dynamic offensive player in this year's class, would be a major difference-maker for an offense looking to turn heads in 2014.
Defensively, the two biggest agents of change on the board are South Carolina's Jadeveon Clowney and Khalil Mack out of Buffalo.
The narrative surrounding Clowney has been well documented in the media.
A once-in-a-generation athletic marvel, the only things holding him back from becoming a dominant football player at the next level are the question marks surrounding his maturity.
On the other side of the spectrum, Mack has transcended expectations and become one of the hottest names in this year's draft class over the last couple of months.
Turn on the tape, and you begin to understand why.
Mack is freaky good. He's explosive, versatile and when he gets rolling, this young man can dominate from just about anywhere on a football field.
NFL Media Analyst Mike Mayock is such a big fan of Mack that he proclaimed he would draft the Buffalo Bull No. 1 overall on KFAN 100.3.
Regardless of what direction McKenzie decides to go in, finding a core playmaker to build around will help this coaching staff finally start to forge a winning culture.
Find a Solution at Running Back
Considering his extensive history with injuries, the team's decision to re-sign Darren McFadden may have come as a surprise to fans.
But when Rashad Jennings packed his bags and left town to join the New York Giants, the move to strike a deal with McFadden started to make sense.
Familiarity with an organization goes a long way. In McFadden's case, spending the last seven seasons in a Raiders uniform gives him a unique sense of how this team operates.
Unless you believe in the talents of second-year running back Latavius Murray—who spent the entire 2013 season on injured reserve—this year's draft seems like a logical place for the Raiders backfield to find answers.
The way the current draft is shaking out, most of the "top-flight" running backs are all projected to fall somewhere between the second and fourth round.
That makes pursuing a talented player like Bishop Sankey out of Washington a much easier pill to swallow.
Giving him his stamp of approval, Bleacher Report's Matt Miller wrote:
In a deep running back class, it's easy to overlook players. Bishop Sankey is a guy I keep going back to as a top-tier, Day 1 impact you can bet on.
He's fast—4.49 officially with a 1.59-second 10-yard split—and has the breakaway ability on the edge. Sankey can be a game-changer, and in a class of running backs who are all very similar, he stands out from the crowd.
Adding a guy like Sankey makes all the sense in the world.
Between the concerns over McFadden's durability and the uncertainty surrounding Murray, this is a great time to draft a potential elite running back talent on Day 2 of the draft.
The End of the Terrelle Pryor Era
Terrelle Pryor may never have an illustrious NFL career. But what the dual-threat quarterback out of Ohio State will always be remembered for is being Al Davis' final draft pick.
Talking to reporters at the NFL annual meeting (h/t Marc Sessler of NFL.com), McKenzie acknowledged that Pryor wants out of Oakland.
"Terrelle wants to start so bad," McKenzie said. "I'll visit with him. We'll talk to him. ... We'll see next week or so how he feels about his future."
Can you blame him?
Pryor's career has undergone its fair share of turbulence since being taken in the 2011 supplemental draft.
Without a stellar supporting cast to lean on, the former Buckeye has struggled to develop into an adequate passer.
Over the 14 games he's started in the last two seasons, he's completed just 56.3 percent of his passes for 1,953 yards, nine touchdowns and 12 interceptions.
Those struggles have led to the organization's disenchantment with Pryor. Talking about how the coaching staff views him right now, Steve Corkran of the Contra Costa Times/Bay Area News Group said:
Raiders coach Dennis Allen said Tuesday that (Matt) McGloin is ahead of Pryor on a depth chart that also features veteran Trent Edwards. In other words, Pryor is viewed as the No. 3 quarterback, at best, three months after he started the Raiders final game of the 2013 season.
No matter how they decide to cut ties, at this point, closing the chapter on the Pryor era in Oakland is best for both parties involved.
Chase a Franchise Quarterback
In his weekly column, MMQB.com's Peter King spoke about the troubling quarterback situation that has haunted the Raiders throughout the years.
Examining just how bad things have gotten, King wrote:
In the wake of the Matt Schaub trade from Houston to Oakland on Friday, and assuming Schaub starts at least one game for the Raiders in 2014, this will be the sixth consecutive year a non-homegrown quarterback will start for the Raiders.
In order: Charlie Frye (2009), Bruce Gradkowski (2009, '10), Jason Campbell (2010, '11), Carson Palmer (2011, '12) and Matt Flynn (2013). If Schaub does start, that means six imported quarterbacks starting in six seasons.
The constant influx of journeymen signal-callers needs to stop. Raiders fans deserve more than having to settle for mediocrity when it comes to the most important position in the National Football League.
Despite all of the discussion involving Schaub, there still is an ounce of hope.
David White of The Fresno Bee has linked the Raiders to Fresno State quarterback Derek Carr.
"I hear the Raiders have a massive crush on the former Fresno State quarterback, but not a No. 5 overall pick sort of crush," White said. "They're more inclined to trade down and take Carr later, which means the Vikings would have to pass on Carr at No. 8."
Whether the Carr narrative turns out to be true or not remains to be seen.
That doesn't change the fact that grooming an authentic homegrown quarterback is what this franchise needs more than anything else.
All NFL free-agency information and stats courtesy of NFL.com unless noted otherwise.


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The Snap Course - March 10th, 11th 2018
I am very excited to offer mentoring sessions for photographers both online and in person. I love helping others and being around people with the same passion.
These mentoring sessions are about you and what you want to learn. We can talk business, editing, workflow, cameras, etc. Mentoring can be done in-person or via skype/google hangout...
Weekday and limited weekend dates are available!
One-on-one mentoring
- One hour meeting in person or online
- Q + A session layout covering what you want to learn
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- 2 hour session
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- One hour on site mentoring to learn about posing, lighting, direction, etc.. with live models
- Headshots taken by me for your marketing <3
*Group mentoring and rates also available
To pick a date, and learn more, contact me Here. I am so excited to meet new photographers and learn all about you!


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UPDATE: Monday's EuroGroup meeting ended with no clear agreement, as Jean Claude Juncker and IMF chief Christine Lagarde publicly sparred over extending the 2020 debt-to-GDP target. Juncker, head of the EuroGroup, assured that Greece would have not problem meeting the €5 billion debt payments scheduled for this week, a statement echoed by Olli Rehn, the EU's Commissioner for Economic Affairs and Monetary affairs, according to Trade the News.
The clock is ticking for European policymakers gathered in Brussels to make a decision regarding Greece and a €31.5 billion ($40.1 billion)tranche of bailout money. Facing a €5 billion ($6.4 billion) debt redemption on Friday, cash-strapped Athens is waiting on the Eurogroup to deliver after the administration of Prime Minister Antonis Samaras managed to pass a new set of structural reforms and a 2013 budget that includes an additional €10 billion ($12.7 billion) in cost cuts. If Brussels doesn't get its act together, Greece could default this week.
The stage is set, the cards have been dealt, and it's all about politics in Europe now. Amid widespread riots and violence, Greek politicians did what they could to meet international creditors' conditions over the past few days. Samaras narrowly passed a Troika-inspired set of tough structural reforms last week and pushed through an austerity budget on Sunday.
Yet Athens is on the verge of default. As Parliament passed his budget, PM Samaras warned that the government may run out of money by Friday if the next tranche of bailout money isn't disbursed. Facing a €5 billion debt payment, Greek authorities are looking to hold a debt auction on Tuesday, but banks are having a tough time raising capital in order participate. According to the FT, Greek banks are only able to raise about €3.5 billion of eligible collateral with the ECB, meaning there could potentially be a €1.5 billion shortfall that could push the Hellenic Republic into default.
A Greek Euro exit is therefore a very real possibility. Yields on sovereign debt across the Old Continent have picked up on this, with both Italian and Spanish 10-year bond rates rising consistently over the last month to 5.026% and 5.889% respectively on Monday.
With Eurozone finance ministers meeting in Brussels on Monday, the administration of PM Samaras is waiting for a gesture from its neighbors. A much awaited Troika report on the state of Greece's economy was characterized as "positive," by Eurogroup head Jean Claude Juncker, who told German weekly Der Spiegel "the Greeks really delivered, now it is for us to deliver."
But several high ranking officials, including Juncker himself, believe no definitive decision will come from this week's meetings. German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schauble already warned that any decision on Greece has to be ratified by Parliament, while Austrian Finance Minister Maria Fekter indicated that reaching a long-lasting and sustainable solution for Greece is absolutely necessary.
Greece has been lobbying hard for a two-year extension for its fiscal targets. The aforementioned Troika report assumes Greece's creditors will grant the extension, but that it will create up to €32.6 billion ($41.5 billion) in financing gaps over the coming years. "We know that for Greece, more time means more money and there's the rub--where should this money come from?" Fekter told reporters, according to WSJ.
Even more troubling is Greece's debt situation. The Hellenic Republic is expected to see debt—to-GDP hit 190% in 2014. The plan is to bring Greece's debt load down to 120% by 2020, but with unemployment hitting a record high of 25.4% as the nation transits its fifth year of recession, the goal looks ambitious.
Europe had seen relative calm for a few months after ECB chief Mario Draghi calmed markets first by saying they would do whatever it takes to preserve the euro, then by unveiling open-ended bond purchases to lower borrowing rates for troubled members in exchange for conditionality and austerity. But with Spain holding off on the bailout request as it negotiates for more lenient terms and Greece coming back to the fore, the situation is beginning to deteriorate. The Global X Greece ETF is down more than 10% over the last 5 trading session after having gained more than 50% in the three months to October 23, the recent high. Major European banks like Banco Santander, Barclays, Deutsche Bank, and HSBC are all down over the past five days, while global American names like JPMorgan Chase, Citigroup, and Goldman Sachs are also in negative territory.
The Eurogroup is expected to find a way to avoid a technical default in Greece, but reaching an agreement on the broader issue will be much more difficult. Athens is waiting for the next tranche of bailout money and has done what it can to meet the Troika's conditions, but the problem is that even then it looks unlikely that Greece will begin to grow again anytime soon.


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I have kik, and I'm 21 I don't see myself as a teenager anymore haha :p
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Jasper Co. man convicted of indecency with a child
Published 4:20 pm, Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Photo: Jasper County Sheriff Department
A 28-year-old Jasper County man was convicted Tuesday of indecency with a child and sentenced to three years in the state jail.
William Powell Jr. of the Call Community was accused of inappropriately touching a family member in 2010. A jury returned a verdict Tuesday after a short deliberation.
Powell will have to serve at least two years of his three-year sentence before he is eligible for parole. He also must pay a $4,000 fine.