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Bite-sized chocolate is specially crafted for an indulgent experience
The Hershey Co., based in Hershey, Pa., launches Hershey's Bliss Chocolate, a rich, creamy, bite-sized chocolate indulgence.
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subset: commoncrawl


text: A five-time "Trombonist of the Year" in the DownBeat Critics Poll, Robin Eubanks is the premier jazz trombonist of his generation. In addition to leading his own groups, EB3 and Mental Images, Eubanks has composed and performed on Grammy-winning recordings with Dave Holland and Michael Brecker. He has worked with music legends Art Blakey, McCoy Tyner, Elvin Jones, and the Rolling Stones, among others. The native Philadelphian is the recipient of composition grants from Chamber Music America and ASCAP. He is a sought-after educator and is now a tenured professor of trombone at the renowned Oberlin Conservatory, and an adjunct professor at Philadelphia's University of the Arts.


text:
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Alma returns in F.E.A.R. 3 but this time her sons Point Man and Paxton Fettel introduce divergent co-op, giving players distinctly different abilities affecting their own play as well as the experience of their co-op partner. Gamers participate in single player or co-op modes as Point Man, a genetically enhanced super soldier originally introduced in F.E.A.R., or they can play cooperatively as his conniving brother Paxton Fettel, whose incredible telekinetic power has given him life beyond the grave.
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Jan 31, 2019
5 Things...Bayern look to continue winning streak
Bayern Munich are the only team to have won each of their last seven Bundesliga matches.
Soccer News
Latest News
Related Videos
5 things... PSG's scoring streak continues
Arsenal battling for Champions League spot in two competitions - Emery
Emery refuses to blame Leno for Wolves goals
Three points from top four, nobody gave us a chance - Solskjaer
Top-four finish is now out of our hands - Emery
PFA Team of the Year
Paul Pogba - Player Profile
Solskjaer values Keane's opinion on Man United team
Atletico must finish as high up the table as possible - Simeone
Kovac sits on the fence over controversial Coman penalty
Sane criticism will help him - Guardiola
Laurent Blanc answers questions on his career
Solskjaer admits challenge to reach Man City's level
John Barnes entertains Watford fans at half-time with World Cup song
Guardiola hails Bernardo Silva's 'masterclass' season
Man City beat Man United to go top of the Premier League
We're preparing for the best Getafe - Zidane
Real have won more than Barca, look at the stats! - Zidane
Reus hits record streak for BVB
Hot or Not...Benzema to equal scoring best?
Serie A - Fantasy Hot or Not
Hot or Not...Ocampo on fire for OM
I am not a liar! - Pochettino defends Janssen inclusion
Socialeyesed - Long scores fastest Premier League goal
Blind excited to face old friends in Tottenham semi-final
Top four destiny in Tottenham's hands - Pochettino
United players will react to Everton defeat - Guardiola
Emery secretive over Arsenal team news
Guardiola confirms De Bruyne will miss Manchester Derby
Old Trafford is not scary anymore - Guardiola
Teams have extra motivation to beat Arsenal - Emery
Big Match Focus - Man United v Man City
I love this squad but I'll make changes if needed - Solskjaer
We are alone when we lose but I support Solskjaer - Guardiola
Man United v Man City - head-to-head
I have to provoke a response after Everton defeat - Solskjaer
It's a sad day - Guardiola on Billy McNeill's death
Mahrez will be at Man City for years to come - Guardiola
Former La Liga stars reveal their superpowers
Fowler out to prove how good he can become at Brisbane
Liverpool need a favour from Man United to win title - Fowler
You have to find a way to get a point - Dyche responds to time-wasting claims
Zola accuses Burnley of time-wasting in 2-2 draw
It's a serious injury - Zola on Hudson-Odoi
He's too frustrated - Zola on Sarri's absence from press conference
From Ancelotti to Tuchel - PSG's title-winning managers
Women's football becoming more important - Valverde eyes Champions League final double
To think about celebrating the title now is absurd- Valverde
Race for the title - Liverpool hold onto top spot
5 things you didn't know...record-breaking Mbappe
Bundesliga Five Thiings...
Sissoko set to miss Ajax...but Winks and Lloris could be fit for Brighton - Pochettino
Spurs aren't thinking about the Ajax game - Pochettino
Mbappe was the real difference - Jardim
5 things you didn't know - Juve's dominance continues
PAOK fans celebrate first Greek title in 34 years in style
PSG players celebrate latest league title
5 things - Man City on fire at home
Win over Cardiff is 'massive' for Liverpool - Klopp
Liverpool players came up with corner routine at half-time - Klopp
First championship with PSG is special- Tuchel
We can't influence the Manchester derby - Klopp remains focused on Liverpool
No way will PSG sell Mbappe, says Tuchel
For me, Benzema is the best striker in the world- Zidane
I think Mustafi has been consistant all season - Emery
Warnock compares Salah dive to Tom Daley
I've never seen a player like Phil Foden. He's special - Guardiola
Man City have shown character for the past two seasons - Guardiola
Today we missed a big opportunity - Emery
Klopp criticises 'dangerous' Cardiff pitch
Favre isn't focused on Bayern
Zaha played like someone who wants to stay at Crystal Palace - Hodgson
Everton were the best team on the pitch from the first minute - Silva
Manchester City at home is our incentive to change our form - Solskjaer
PSG's Three Musketeers: Silva, Rabiot, Verratti
Solskjaer apologises to Man United fans after defeat to Everton
The Juventus title-winning years Best XI
PSG crowned Ligue 1 champions
Juventus fans party and react to eighth straight Scudetto
Barzagli and Chiellini - Awesome Duo
City must continue winning streak to retain the Premier League - Guardiola
Difficult to return to La Liga after Champions League - Valverde
Goal will do Lemar good - Simeone
Clinching title now eases Champions League pain - Allegri
When Juve's legacy began
Juventus fastest Scudetto in Serie A
No-one will match Juve's eight in a row - Nedved
Cristiano Ronaldo - King of Italy
Tottenham will finish in the top four but our win today was massive - Guardiola
Bremen red card helped Bayern - Kovac
Neymar returns to PSG training
Sometimes it goes for you, sometimes against you - Pochettino on Walker handball
Man City and Tottenham 'weren't in the best place mentally' - Pochettino
Juventus win 8th Scudetto in a row
De Bruyne out of Man Utd game - Guardiola
Top four race is in Tottenham's hands despite loss - Pochettino
I'm a genius for picking Phil Foden - Guardiola
Zidane unsure on Bale's future
We'll be underdogs again, against Spurs - Ten Hag
Zidane urges caution over Vinicius return from injury
Duggan hopes England will be successful in the World Cup
Neymar impatient to return to PSG squad - Tuchel
Tuchel expects PSG reaction to win Ligue 1 title
Klopp gives injury update on Lovren, Gomez and Oxlade-Chamberlain
Klopp insists Liverpool are 'not tired' ahead of season run-in
I have years left playing at a high level - Falcao
Champions League semi-final great for 'brand Ajax' - De Boer
Perfection does not exist but you have to try - Guardiola
Barca want to use Champions League momentum to win La Liga - Valverde
Talking about VAR is f****** boring - Guardiola
Guardiola is the world's best coach - Valverde
I loved watching City v Spurs - de Jong
Race for the top four - advantage North London
Cardiff and Huddersfield as important as Barcelona - Klopp
I don't like to go through on offside goals - Guardiola
No Premier League advantage with Champions League exit - Guardiola
Big Match Focus - PSG v Monaco
Costa returns to Atletico training after one-day absence
Juve must put Champions League disappointment behind them and win the Scudetto - Allegri
Back to back away wins important - Emery
Ronaldo is the future of Juventus - Allegri
Costa issue is resolved and he's back in training - Simeone
Wow! Unbelievable! - Klopp reacts to Spurs win over City
Salah and Mane are Muslim role models - Klopp
Crawford and Khan share thoughts before showdown
Barcelona are favourites against a 'difficult' Liverpool side - Pedro
Hazard committed to Chelsea - Pedro
I'll stop half-time team talks! - Sarri
Neymar price-tag too big for Bundesliga - Jorginho
Hazard will be fit for Burnley - Sarri
Napoli competed well in Europe, insists Ancelotti
We need to focus on Eintracht - Kante
Ramsey a doubt for remainder of Arsenal season - Emery
Morning after the night before - Poch's best bits
I was right not to underestimate 'fresh', 'dynamic' Ajax - Kovac
Gnabry needs to 'eat a lot' if he's going to keep up with Robben and Ribery - Kovac
I went to bed and missed 'unbelievable' Man City v Spurs ending! - Favre
5 things... Lyon's Depay the man to watch against Angers
5 Things...Hazard loves Mondays
5 things... Juve welcome Fiorentina for 150th home game
I heard Jesus and I was alive! - Pochettino
5 things... Can Barca continue Nou Camp dominance over Real Sociedad?
de Ligt should join de Jong at Barca - Siem de Jong
Alderweireld excited to return to Ajax for semi-final clash
We got what we deserved in Nantes defeat - Tuchel
'VAR saved us'- Vertonghen
Tottenham deserve to be amongst the best - Alli
'You have to accept it' - Pochettino and Guardiola on VAR
I thought we were out! - Sissoko
Porto coach proud of Champions League form despite exit
Guardiola thrilled with Etihad atmosphere despite exit
It was right my goal stood - Llorente
We have to accept VAR decisions - Bernardo Silva
Guardiola laments 'cruel' Champions League exit to Spurs
Sterling and Fernandinho refuse to speak to media after Champions League exit
My most important win as Spurs manager - Pochettino
Giroud frustrated by lack of Chelsea starts
Thank God I don't have to think about Messi tonight - Klopp
Return to Premier League would be exciting - Kramaric
Liverpool thrash Porto to reach Champions League semis
Spurs stuns City in remarkable quarter-final clash
I hope Hazard stays at Chelsea - Zola
Freddie Kanoute answers questions on his career
Arsenal ready for a strong Napoli
Napoli will play great - Ancelotti warns Arsenal
Hot or not... Klassen on fire
Messi needs to win the World Cup - Rivaldo
Arsenal experience key to winning at Napoli - Sokratis
Fantasy Hot or Not... Piatek - Milan's goal machine
Fantasy Hot or Not - Benzema on fire for Real Madrid
Neymar made a mistake leaving Barca - Rivaldo
'Leave me to enjoy it a little bit' - Pochettino relishes pre-quarter-final presser
Leipzig game a 'realistic' target for Neuer comeback
Retirement rumours made me laugh - Neuer
Klopp thanks Liverpool fans
Solskjaer hails 'exceptional' Messi
Solskjaer refuses to blame De Gea after 'unfortunate' error
I dream of one trophy, but 25?! - Pochettino on Guardiola's career
Klopp warns Liverpool players against complacency at Porto
Heavy metal or elevator music? We'll show it on the pitch says Klopp
Tottenham must be strong without Kane - Lloris
Salah and Mane not competing for golden boot - Klopp
Pele will always be the best ever - Klopp
Ajax success putting Dutch football back on the map - ten Hag
I've done a good job says Allegri after Champions League exit
Ajax deserved to beat us - Allegri
Barcelona will win the Champions League - Solskjaer
Match-winner De Ligt coy over Ajax future
We don't apologise for having Messi - Valverde
'A great night for Dutch football' - Ten Hag on Ajax win
Ajax dump Juve out to make last four
Liverpool are the best in the world - Conceicao
Missed chances haven't tainted Tuchel's confidence in delivering title
Guardiola 'loves' the title race challenge with Liverpool
Guardiola and Stones urge Man City fans to support players
Not winning the Champions League at Bayern Munich was a big failure - Guardiola
Anger isn't an option for Tuchel after title slip-up
Lukaku, Smalling and Young on Manchester United's travel habits
Stones insists Tottenham not weaker without Kane and Alli
Reiss Nelson will become a 'great player' - Kramaric
Chairman told me to win the Champions League three times – Guardiola
Stones 'dreaming' of quadruple with Manchester City
5 things - Klopp reaches Liverpool landmark
VAR discussions will continue until it's factual - Solskjaer
Belief is massive but won't be enough - Solskjaer
Week in words - week 34
Bale's limited minutes are solely tactical - Zidane
Ter Stegen wary of 'very dangerous' Man United
5 things you didn't know.. Nainggolan's now good with his head
5 things you didn't know.. Pepe best since Hazard for Lille
We respect Manchester United's history - Valverde
Benzema's playing well but we should have done better - Zidane
5 things you didn't know...Dortmund dazzle at home
5 things you didn't know...youthful Barcelona held at Huesca
Torreira will be fit for the Napoli game - Emery
We didn't control the game like I wanted - Emery on Arsenal's win
Emery and Gracia react to Deeney's red card
We're not afraid of Ajax - Can
Allegri could surprise us - ten Hag
Opta Premier League review - week 34
H2H - FC Barcelona v Manchester United
De Jong believes Ajax can repeat Madrid feat
Sanchez 'wants to prove a point' against Barcelona - Solskjaer
Man United are a team that never gives up - Dalot
Pogba is concentrating on the Barcelona game - Solskjaer on transfer rumours
Solskjaer hopeful of another Nou Camp comeback
Comeback against PSG will help the players against Barcelona - Solskjaer
Race for the title - Liverpool stay on top
On This Day - 30th anniversary of Hillsborough disaster
FC Barcelona v Manchester United
Klopp lauds Fabinho and midfielders after 2-0 win over Chelsea
Head 2 Head - Manchester City v Tottenham Hotspur
You can't defend without offensive wingers - Klopp
Bayern don't want to let go of Bundesliga lead - Kovac
5-1 defeat doesn't show PSG's lack of quality - Tuchel
Defeat hurts PSG players - Verratti
Reine-Adelaide continues fine form
Racism continues to hurt Ligue 1
Salah's goal 'blew me away' - Klopp
I hope it's nothing serious - Sarri on Rudiger injury
Sarri 'very happy' with Chelsea performance despite defeat
Klopp ignoring 'bulls***' comments about Liverpool's title challenge
De Bruyne sees passes other humans can't - Guardiola
183 points in two seasons is incredible - Guardiola
Scoreline doesn't represent the game at all - Siewert
English teams are a threat in Europe - Zidane
The Premier League title race is in Man City's hands - Guardiola
West Ham would have won with VAR - Pellegrini
Ronaldo can't be replaced - Zidane
Solskjaer backs Pogba's new penalty approach
Fred is developing well at Man United - Solskjaer
Exceptional Salah made the right choice joining Liverpool - Totti
No way I'll manage at 71 like Hodgson - Guardiola
Guardiola on Sane and Gundogan contract situations
Oblak the best goalkeeper in the world - Simeone
Favre content with scoreline as Dortmund regain Bundesliga lead
This season is an 'incredible success' even if City don't win the Champions League - Guardiola
Valverde focused on Man United second leg after draw at Huesca
United 'lucky' this performance wasn't against Barcelona - Solskjaer
Solskjaer 'doesn't understand' Champions League schedule
Tuchel takes sting out of Alves' unrest
Wright and Redknapp relive Liverpool's 1-1 draw at Chelsea
Liverpool must use the 'power of Anfield' - Klopp's best bits
Juve only need one point, but winning is hard - Allegri on shock SPAL loss
Huge crowd for Seville derby
Goal difference can be decisive in top four race - Pochettino
Pochettino gives update on Alli and Winks ahead of City game
Genesio confirms he will leave Lyon
The players need opportunities to show their quality - Pochettino on Moura hat-trick
Yaya Toure says the tournament not great for players
Figo says statistics favour English teams
Pochettino treating Huddersfield like a Champions League game
Arsenal must improve away from home - Emery
Amiens, Dijon coaches condemn racist abuse
Big Match Focus - Liverpool v Chelsea
Neymar has a lot of pressure on him in Brazil - Zinho
Every game is a final...we'll play the strongest side - Guardiola
Zinchenko and Silva a doubt for Sunday's clash with Palace - Guardiola
Real no longer have an advantage now that Ronaldo has left - Capello
We want to help Kane recover for the Nations League - Pochettino
Zinho urges Neymar to stay at PSG
Tottenham aren't favourites for the top four...but we're confident - Pochettino
Racists should be banned for life - Klopp
2014 Chelsea game not in Liverpool's minds - Klopp
Guardiola 'doesn't agree' with Gundogan over Tottenham assessment
Hazard's the world's best on his day - Klopp
It's great to watch - Seaman and Gudjohsen on the title race
Messi's quality makes it difficult for Coutinho to shine - Zinho
Jonathan Tah shocked at Hernandez price
Valverde looking to rest Messi for Huesca trip
It will be 'difficult' for Kane to return this season - Pochettino
Kovac confirms training-ground bust up between Lewandowski and Coman
Costa punishment is excessive - Simeone
Ronaldo will be rested against SPAL - Allegri
I want my players to finish games tired - Emery
We need to be mentally strong away from home - Emery
Genesio laughs off Mourinho's Lyon links
Ancelotti confident Napoli can turn tie around at home
Bundesliga - Five things you didn't know
Ligue 1 - Five things you didn't know
'50 per cent happy' - Emery's Europa debrief
La Liga - Five things you didn't know
Opta Preview... Aguero shy at Selhurst
Emery hails 'awesome' Ramsey performance
Hazard and Pogba would help Real Madrid - Casemiro
Liverpool to win Champions League under 'great leader' Klopp - Rosberg
Arsenal seal Napoli victory
Chelsea beat Slavia
Serie A - five things you need to know
Kane suffers ligament damage
I'd love to play Arsenal in the Europa League semi-finals - Cazorla
Firmino warns Liverpool that job is not done
Race for the top four - Chelsea leapfrog Arsenal
Sergio Canales answers questions on his career
I haven't forgot 10-2 win over Arsenal! - Ancelotti returns to London
5 Things... Chelsea's winning Anfield streak
Busquets should have been sent off - Solskjaer
Barcelona more difficult than PSG - Lukaku
Allegri not surprised by Ajax performance
De Jong can't help but admire Ronaldo's goalscoring
Alba confident of Barcelona going through after Old Trafford win
Ajax can't afford any mistakes at Juventus - ten Hag
United have ability to turn tie around in Barcelona - Valverde
Ancelotti praises 'experienced' Emery
Solskjaer's debrief ... on Lukaku, McTominay, Rashford and Sanchez
Man United know how to beat Barcelona at Nou Camp - Pogba
Tottenham players stay positive on Kane injury
Man United have scored goals before at Nou Camp - Solskjaer
Ajax hold Juventus
Barcelona take first leg lead at Manchester United
Emery and Lacazette target Europa League glory
It's vital Arsenal and Chelsea get into Champions League - Petit
Fantasy Hot or Not - Can Kean continue hot streak?
Difficult for Hazard to turn down Real Madrid - Gudjohnsen
Chelsea become a better team with 'hugely talented' Hudson-Odoi - Gudjohnsen
Milner fantastic at left-back - Klopp
Man City lacked usual attacking threat - Fernandinho
Ajax are cool, I'd like them to win UCL - Tah
Judge Sarri's Chelsea reign at end of the season - Gudjohnsen
Son ticks all the boxes - Pochettino
Klopp and van Dijk impressed by goal-scoring Keita
Sorry we haven't played Henderson further forward - Klopp
One mistake cost City - Otamendi
Kane injury sours Spurs win for Llorente
Penalty save gave Tottenham confidence to beat Man City - Lloris
Pochettino and Guardiola debate VAR's penalty decision
Guardiola praises 'incredible' City performance despite first-leg defeat
Porto deserved to score at Anfield - Conceicao
Pochettino fears Kane could miss rest of the season
Kane leaves stadium on crutches
Liverpool deserved the win but tie not over - Klopp
Manchester City still favourites for the tie - Pochettino
Pogba will be at Man United next season - Solskjaer
Solskjaer was a great teammate - Pique
Son gives Spurs edge over City
Liverpool secure two-goal advantage against Porto
Ronaldo fit to play against Ajax - Allegri
We're in good shape, but United can hurt us - Valverde
Man United learnt from PSG - Solskjaer previews Barcelona clash
Bring it on! - Smalling and Solskjaer ready to face 'fantastic' Messi
Ajax want to play the best, so we want to play Ronaldo - Ten Hag
Head-to-Head - Ajax vs Juventus
If anyone can win quadruple it's Man City - Pochettino
Liverpool are on fire - Klopp
Ronaldo back in Juventus training ahead of Champions League quarter-final
Klopp won't risk Gomez for 'one or two weeks'
Leverkusen's Tah looking forward to 'impressive' Nowitzki's next move
Late goals are not luck - Klopp
Solskjaer a 'breath of fresh air' for Man United - Seaman and Gudjohnsen
No advantage playing first leg at home - Van Dijk
Henry will bounce back - Seaman and Gudjohnsen
No better manager than Guardiola - Sterling
It's in the past - Guardiola and Pochettino on Pep's first Premier League loss
No one chooses the colour of their skin - Guardiola supports Sterling and Rose
Sarri puts Eden's goalscoring form down to Mrs Hazard
Sarri ready to make changes for Europa League and Liverpool
Champions League and Premier League double is possible - van Dijk
Liverpool tie not about revenge - Conceicao
Robertson the best left-back in England - van Dijk
Impossible for Chelsea to replace Hazard - Sarri
Mauricio will be angry with me! - Guardiola retracts 'Harry Kane team' remark
Casillas wary of Liverpool threat ahead of quarter-final clash
Tottenham legends preview Champions League tie with Man City
Ajax's exciting youth can upset Juve- Jesper Olsen
Walking off pitch would mean racists win - Sterling
Man City are the favourites for Champions League title - Cesar
Son and Pochettino urge togetherness in fight against racism
'Special' Frenkie de Jong playing with maturity - Jesper Olsen
5 Things... Ligue 1's surprise goalscorers
Man City game 'one of the most important' of Pochettino's career
Klopp and van Dijk never worried by Salah goalscoring drought
Hitzfeld tips Man City and Liverpool to reach Champions League final
Big Match Focus - Man United v Barcelona
5 things... Moise Kean's arrival to Serie A
5 Things... Messi earns record La Liga win
Big Match Focus - Tottenham v Man City
Head to Head - Liverpool v FC Porto
Head to Head - Tottenham v Manchester City
Head to Head - Manchester United v Barcelona
Gracia had full confidence in Deeney's penalty taking
I find it hard to explain that miss - Choupo-Moting
Blame me for Strasbourg draw - Tuchel
Sevilla coach reveals leukemia diagnosis
VIRAL: Football: Odegaard scores to dent PSV title hopes
Big teams overcome situations, they don't complain - Guardiola
I'm happy for my players but want more from them - Guardiola
I knew Deulofeu would be important during the game - Gracia
Jagielka deserved his goal - Silva
'We'll see if he stays or not'- Zidane on Bale's Real Madrid future
Arsenal lacked 'balance' in defeat to Everton - Emery
Watford comeback to beat Wolves
Top four finish will be difficult for Arsenal - Emery
Bayern fans celebrate hammering Dortmund
Socialeyesed - Man City reach the FA Cup final
Walker should've been sent off - Hughton
Benzema has always been important, not just now he's scoring! - Zidane
Tiger Roll wins the Grand National for second successive year
Allegri hopes Ronaldo will return for Ajax tie
Valverde hails 'important victory' over Atletico
Simeone questions Diego Costa's red card
Dortmund taught a lesson by Bayern - Favre
Bayern win due to 'impressive' first half - Kovac
I took Kyle Walker off because he was injured - Guardiola
People expect us to win 5-0 every game - Guardiola
It's almost impossible to win the quadruple - Guardiola
Manchester City reach the FA Cup final
Champions League failure still in our minds - Verratti
I think we will sign three or four new players - Tuchel
USA are number one for a reason - Taylor hails World Cup rivals
Football's racist shame - what next?
Something needs to be done - Yankey on discrimination in football
Women's World Cup can enhance popularity of the game - Yankey
Serie A: Big Match Focus - Juventus vs Milan
City haven't had the quadruple winning moment yet - Guardiola
Expectations at Manchester United are high - Jesper Olsen
Managers need time - Jesper Olsen
Quiz: Mohamed Salah scores his 50th EPL goal for Liverpool
Guardiola not feeling pressure in quadruple hunt
Win over Southampton is 'really big' for Liverpool - Klopp
Mohamed Salah scores his 50th EPL goal for Liverpool
Aguero will play when he's fit to play - Guardiola
Griezmann to go? Madrid's media give their view
50 goals for Liverpool is an incredible number - Klopp on Salah
I don't know why they didn't celebrate with Keita - Klopp
Emery remaining 'realistic' about top-four chances
Serie A - 5 things you need to know
Benjamin Mendy's not a bad dancer - Guardiola
Barca spoke to Morata about a move - Valverde
Emery 'very happy' with Mesut Ozil
Griezmann...Back to the Future?
Guardiola confirms Aguero will travel for FA Cup semi-final
We will have to fight until the last minute - Sarri
I've always liked Eden Hazard - Zidane
Sterling's generous FA Cup gesture makes for a 'better society' - Guardiola
Victory at Barcelona will be meaningless if we lose our other games - Diego Simeone
I'm optimistic we'll win at the Nou Camp - Simeone
Loftus-Cheek has improved 'a lot' tactically - Sarri
I didn't mean to justify racism with my words - Allegri
Guardiola tells Rose the best way to fight racial abuse is not to quit
Bonucci expressed himself badly after Kean abuse - Allegri
Race for the top four - north London in the driving seat
Hitzfeld tipping Dortmund for Der Klassiker
Bundesliga: 5 Things - Bayern and Dortmund to go head-to-head
Olsen urges Pogba to leave Man United if he's not committed
Materazzi helps launched recycled World Cup pitch
Sancho reminds me of Ribery - Hitzfeld
Bayern need to spend in the summer - Hitzfeld
OPTA Preview MD33
Fantasy Hot or Not - Kovac doesn't do well against Dortmund
'It's the best moment of my life' - Pochettino hails new stadium
5 Things - Kean's impressive scoring start
Moving to Barcelona or Madrid would be a 'great experience' for Eriksen - Olsen
5 Things - Griezmann ends unwanted drought
5 Things - Bayern & Dortmund to go head-to-head
Tottenham must be extremley proud of their new stadium - Hodgson
The pressure has to be there - Hughton
5 Things - Marseille's woes at Bordeaux
De Bruyne told me it was a cross - Warnock
Hudson-Odoi can be the best player in Europe - Sarri
Fantasy Hot or Not - Salah shooting blanks
5 things - Hazard on fire at Stamford Bridge
Defending is the easiest part of football - Bayern boss Kovac
Wolves sign Jimenez on a permanent deal
Marseille legend Ravanelli hopes Balotelli makes history
QUIZ: Christian Eriksen - 200 EPL games
Man City missed De Bruyne - Guardiola
Socialeyesed - Moise Kean makes a stand against racism
Guardiola admits Man City won't be champions if they drop points
Bonucci reaction to Kean racism storm the "worst scenario" - Yaya Toure
There's 'no doubt' Tottenham will finish in the top four - Pochettino
Bonucci should apologise for 50-50 comments - Yaya Toure
Spalletti welcomes back Icardi in Genoa win
I don't like Boateng's party planning post Dortmund - Salihamidzic
Tuchel eager to see more selfish Verratti after semi-final goal
Sarri thanks Chelsea fans for 'wonderful' atmosphere
Pochettino 'emotional' as Spurs win in new stadium
Santi Cazorla takes the OPTA QUIZ
Calm Zidane reminds me of Del Bosque, says Casillas
Zinchenko injury gives Man City a problem - Guardiola
Muller stunned by 'crazy win' over Heidenheim
Pele hospitalised with infection
Foden and Hudson-Odoi impress on first Premier League starts
England star Duggan hails 'amazing' experience at Barcelona
'Racism is racism' - Clarke urges tougher action during matches
Van Dijk a different player since joining from Southampton - Klopp
Klopp impressed with Hasenhuttl's Southampton start
City to win the Premier League? Of course, Yes! - Yaya Toure
Moise Kean racial abuse is a 'worryting time in society'- Jason Roberts
Salah not bothered by goal drought - Klopp
Guardiola tells Man City players to 'forget about quadruple'
Tottenham's new stadium one of the best in the world - King
King expects Eriksen to stay at Tottenham
15 points secures top four - Solskjaer
I'm not Mendy's father - Guardiola
I'd love to have played alongside Mbappe - Pele
Important for Griezmann to get a goal - Simeone on Girona win
Of course we need Messi - Valverde after comeback against Villarreal
Kylian Mbappe meets Pele
Solskjaer delighted with goal scorer McTominay
Man United deserved to win - Solskjaer
Solskjaer admits Young deserved red card
Life bans needed for racial abuse after Kean incident - Allegri
I want to play in front of 60,000 - Pochettino's stadium wish
Dortmund aren't ignoring title possibility - Goetze
Messi is not God says Pope
Now is not the time for complacency - Tuchel
Fulham relegated from the Premier League
Ederson and Alisson can get better - Cesar
'Good mood' the difference between Solskjaer and Mourinho - Blanc
Zidane backs Bale despite Bernabeu boos
Zidane keen to keep hold of Varane
Zidane defends son Luca's selection
Pochettino has 'no doubts' Tottenham will finish in top four
Guardiola understands Warnock's referee frustrations
Pochettino backs 'one of the best in the world' Lloris
Hudson-Odoi ready for first Premier League start - Sarri
Ahh s***! - Guardiola reacts to Liverpool's late winner
Sarri refuses to confirm if Hazard and Kante will start
Consistency key for Arsenal overtaking Tottenham - Emery
'We're in the driving seat' - Week in words
5 Things...Liverpool and Chelsea leave it late
Players need to enjoy their work - Blanc on Manchester United
I never expected Manchester United's comeback against PSG - Blanc
Emery hopes Ramsey will help Arsenal achieve 'something important'
Away form will be key to top four - Emery
'More needs to be done' - England Lionesses on racism
Six more wins will bring us La Liga - Valverde
5 Things...Mbappe can't stop scoring
Valverde contemplating resting Messi
Griezmann showing commitment to Atletico - Simeone
'VAR has to be the answer!' - Warnock's rant after Chelsea defeat
'It will be a championship of will' - Race for the Premier League title
Kovac rules out Dortmund distraction ahead of Cup clash
Icardi issue shows problem in Inter's dressing room - Batistuta
Ronaldo on course for Ajax return - Allegri
Fernandez catches goalkeeper out with brilliant quick free-kick
Cardiff could decide Premier League title - Warnock
Top four in Tottenham's hands - Pochettino
Kante and Hazard can't play 70 matches - Sarri
5 Things...Alcacer's late show earns a place in the Bundesliga history books
5 things... Messi equals Casillas' winning record
Klopp praises 'brilliant' Fabinho impact
5 things...Juventus continue to make history
Van Dijk defended brilliantly against Sissoko - Klopp
Pochettino 'accepts' Lloris error for Liverpool winner
Zidane defends selection of son Luca in goal
Tuchel hails PSG win after 'dfficult' Toulouse test
Racing Club win title after draw at Tigre
Balotelli at the double for Marseille
Super Samba denies Jovetic with spectacular save
Terrier comes off the bench to score winner
'We were laughing' - Pochettino impressed with midfield performance
'Better than winning 5-0' - Klopp thrilled with Spurs win
Tottenham players are heroes - Pochettino
'Two yards offside!' - Sarri and Warnock debate Azpilicueta goal
Sarri admits Chelsea were 'lucky' to beat Cardiff
Sarri 'getting used to' fans frustration but refuses to quit
Emanuelson curls superb free-kick as Utrecht beat Feyenoord
'Disrespectful' to link Mourinho with Inter job - Zanetti
Fans hail Tottenham's new stadium
Pressure on Solskjaer as permanent Man United manager - Berbatov
Young English talents should follow Sancho to Bundesliga - Freund
Tottenham deserve top four finish - Keane
Klopp admits to Oxlade-Chamberlain 'mistake'
Chelsea don't need to be perfect to finish in top four - Sarri
'Exceptional' Shaw has so much in his locker - Solskjaer
'The best I've played in' - Spurs legends react to new stadium
Goalless Gazza crowd's favourite Spurs Legend
Socialeyesed - Huddersfield relegated
Today we celebrate, tomorrow we focus on Bayern - Favre
Keane's acrobatics in Tottenham legends game at new stadium
Allegri hails Kean's impact on Juventus
Messi is the same player for Barcelona and Argentina - Valverde
We're almost in the driving seat - Solskjaer on top four race
Pogba might need to drop deeper for United - Solskjaer
Kovac 'angry' after Bayern drop points at Freiburg
Solskjaer unimpressed with 'sloppy' United against Watford
Liverpool v Tottenham - managers' preview
He's the best - Guardiola hails Bernardo Silva
Guardiola praises 'incredible' City after international break
Neymar no closer to returning for PSG - Tuchel
Thiago Silva is always a reliable captain - Tuchel
Huddersfield relegated from the Premier League
He felt something - Guardiola gives update on Aguero injury
Pogba could come to Madrid after United - Zidane
I can't say there won't be changes to my squad - Zidane
Suarez is ready to start for Arsenal - Emery
Liverpool can't afford to lose to Totteham in title race - King
Klopp cracks up as reporter asks if she can help Liverpool beat Spurs
Solskjaer appointment won't stop speculation about my future - Pochettino
Retired Higuain mistreated in Argentina - Batistuta
It's an incredible experience - Guardiola on quadruple push
'Congratulations to him' - The EPL reacts to Solskjaer appointment
Sarri unsure if Hazard will remain at Chelsea next season
VIRAL: Football: 'We should stop the match' - EPL managers unite against racism
Every match is important in fight for top four - Emery
New stadium is 'best in the world' - Pochettino
I cannot imagine Atletico Madrid without Griezmann - Simeone
Atletico tried to keep Lucas Hernandez - Simeone
We'd like to be the first team to beat Celtic at home - Gerrard
Jardim backs Mourinho to Lyon rumour
Sarri confident of keeping Hudson-Odoi next season
Aleksandar Mitrovic is so dangerous in the box - Guardiola
Moise Kean might have scored for Italy but he's still not Ronaldo or Messi - Allegri
Ronaldo will only return when he's fully recovered - Allegri
Salah has benefited from time off ahead of Spurs game - Klopp
Arsenal have adapted well since Wenger's departure - Cazorla
Messi has carried knocks since before Christmas - Valverde
This week could be decisive in La Liga title race - Valverde
I'm close to my best after horror injury run - Santi Cazorla
Manchester United fans react to Solskjaer's appointment
Players have asked to join Manchester United this summer - Solskjaer
Lahm made honorary citizen of Munich
It's incomprehensible that racism still happens in football - Gracia
England's 'DNA' must be the same across all levels - Southgate
Wenger would want complete control if he moved to PSG - Petit
Five most expensive centre backs
If you're complacent you don't last long at United - Solskjaer
Nice are flattering but Vieira is doing well - Petit
We expect to win the Premier League at Man United - Solskjaer
Solskjaer hopes appointment will convince players to stay at United
Henry made mistakes at Monaco - Petit
Molde managing director congratulates Solskjaer
Good to have a conclusion to Solskjaer saga - Molde managing director
Bayern boss Kovac pleased with Lucas Hernandez signing
5 Things...Messi at the heart of Barca's attack
Top four is this season's aim but we will spend in the summer - Solskjaer
5 things you missed during the international break
It's unacceptable for Dortmund to make so many mistakes - Favre
Dortmund director Zorc against increasing fixture schedule
5 things - Creative spark Ndombele still goal shy
Managing Man United is the 'ultimate dream' - Solskjaer
Serie A: Five Things - Juventus face a favoured opponent
Bundesliga: Five things you need to know
Socialeyesed - Ole's at the wheel
Meet Rémi Oudin - Reims' magician
Man United can achieve whatever they want under Solskjaer - Gracia
Liverpool v Tottenham - head to head
Solskjaer's record breaking United reign in numbers
How Solskjaer became permanent Manchester United manager
Forlan fancies United's chances against Barcelona
Chelsea have a lot to play for despite Women's Super League gap - Mjelde
Late goal against PSG shows Chelsea's positive mentality - Mjelde
FOOTBALL: International: Germany's youngsters will bring international success - Matthaus
Pires 'confident' Arsenal can beat Napoli and win Europa League
Ligue 1: Fantasy Hot or Not
Klopp a big factor in Liverpool's success - Riise
UCL final loss gave Liverpool belief that they can win the Premier League - Riise
Manuel Neuer turns 33
ECA aiming to make Champions League more valuable than Super Bowl
'Fair play' to Galatasaray youngster for intentional penalty miss
Big Match Focus - Liverpool v Tottenham
Solskjaer has brought entertaining football back to United - Robson
Hernandez signs for Bayern
It would be an honour if Mourinho replaced me - Genesio
Germany's rising star Nico Schulz takes the OPTA Quiz
Fantasy Hot or Not...Lewandowski deadly against Freiburg
Fantasy Hot or Not...Saponara looking to continue fine form against Milan
Opta Premier League preview - week 32
Not many managers could do what Solskjaer has at United - Cole
Tite shrugs off criticism after Brazil beat Czech Republic
More to come from Argentina - Scaloni
5 Things...Pochettino's Klopp curse
It's rare Italy win matches 6-0 - Mancini
International break could affect Liverpool v Tottenham clash - McManaman
Olivier Giroud's top five France goals
Spain still searching for Ramos' perfect partner post-Pique
'We will try and get Giroud to the top' - Griezmann
Griezmann happy with France's perfect start to Euro 2020 qualifiers
Van der Sar backs Ajax to beat Juve in a clash of his former teams
UEFA must be proactive in combatting racism - Van der Sar
Sterling and Hudson Odoi key to England win - Southgate
Sterling and Rose prepared me for racial abuse in Montenegro - Hudson-Odoi
'I don't have the answer' - Southgate blasts 'unacceptable' racism
Montenegro coach denies hearing racist abuse towards England players
France had fun in rout of Iceland - Deschamps
'Sad evening' in Montenegro - Southgate condemns racist abuse
Ronaldo happy with Portugal performance despite Serbia draw
Ronaldo expects to return in 'one or two weeks'
Socialeyesed - alleged racism overshadows England win
Montenegro 1-5 England - Opta review
Mancini happy for return of fan enthusiasm
Son a great footballer - Yerry Mina
Messi-less Argentina touch down in Morroco
Record crowd watch as Juventus Women close in on title
Gascoigne 1996 or Cowley 2019?! - Wonder goal for Bromsgrove Sporting
Promes and de Ligt praise goalscorer Sane after Germany victory
Van Djik and I were 4/10 in the first half - de Ligt
I should have made a substitution - Koeman on Germany loss
We never lost faith - Low on last gasp German victory
Liverpool legends predict Premier League title race with Man City
Juventus women savour win in front of record Serie A crowd
Montenegro v England - Opta Preview


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Staff writer
An old cottonwood tree, struck by lightning caused several days of consternation last week for the Goessel Fire Department. Things came to a head Thursday, when a passer-by traveling along K-15 Highway two miles south of the intersection with 56 Highway called in a possible fire at the tree's location.
"We had been out five times already in the past few days," firefighter John Unruh said. "It was just a huge tree, hollow all the way down, but we couldn't get enough water down in there to put the fire completely out. With the high winds on Thursday we just had to get this thing taken care of before it got bigger."
Tree owner Doug Baltzer said the cottonwood was more than 75 years old. The large tree was at least 48 inches in diameter.
"I didn't want it cut down," he said. "It has withstood a lot of elements, and has some sentimental value to our family."
Goessel Fire Chief Larry Jay said the crew on the scene Thursday made a tough decision to cut the tree off about five feet from the ground. It was the only way to fully extinguish the fire that burned down in the base of the tree.
"I was real sorry it had to be done," Unruh said. "But we really didn't have much of a choice about it."
Holes in the tree indicated it may have been home to a variety of wildlife, including raccoons, pack rats, squirrels, and birds.
Several hours after firefighters cut the tree down and dowsed the fire out, snakes moved back into the base of the large cottonwood.
"I guess it still serves some sort of purpose," Baltzer said. "It's just too bad it got hit by lightning."


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A prototype scanner aboard the International Space Station has been taking new images of Earth's coastal regions during the 16 months since it was launched, providing scientists with a new set of imaging tools that will help them monitor events from oil spills to plankton blooms.
The images and other data are now available to scientists from around the world through an online clearinghouse coordinated by Oregon State University.
Additional details of the project will be announced in a forthcoming issue of the American Geophysical Union journal, EOS, and can be found on an OSU website about the project http://hico.coas.oregonstate.edu/
The Hyperspectral Imager for the Coastal Ocean, or HICO, is the first space-borne sensor created specifically for observing the coastal ocean and will allow scientists to better analyze human impacts and climate change effects on the world's coastal regions, according to Curtiss O. Davis, an OSU oceanographer and the project scientist.
"What HICO does that other ocean imaging systems like NASA's MODIS cannot is provide color sensor data down to the human scale," Davis said. "Whereas the normal resolution for an ocean imager is about one kilometer, HICO provides resolution down to 90 meters. And instead of having just nine channels like MODIS, it has 90 channels.
"This allows us to focus the imaging system on a section of the coastline and map the ocean floor in water as deep as 50 to 60 feet," he added. "It gives us the ability to track sediment down the Columbia River, and to distinguish that sediment from phytoplankton blooms in the ocean. It can reveal near-shore eddies, currents, and the influence of coastal streams entering the ocean.
"It is a scientific treasure trove for the coastal oceanographer," he added.
This sophisticated imaging system was developed by the Naval Research Laboratory and installed aboard the space station in 2009. Its development was an experiment – to see if engineers could create an "Innovative Naval Prototype" instrument very quickly, at low-cost, and make it work for a year, said Davis, who worked for several years at the laboratory before joining the OSU faculty.
That first goal was achieved last October and now the focus is on the second goal, conducting useful science with this unique data set.
"We've already talked to 40-50 interested scientists and shared some preliminary data," he said, "and they've been excited about the potential. They all want a piece of it."
Some of the images HICO has provided have revealed interesting data:
-- Images of the Han River in South Korea outline the dynamic, rapidly shifting shallow mud flats that are covered by the incoming tide, but include sandbars where boats can easily get mired;
-- Images from the Straits of Gibraltar, separating Spain from North Africa, reveal where large internal waves propagate hundreds of feet below the surface. These waves, which were used during World War II to hide submarines moving through the channel, can affect fishing and boat navigation.
-- Images of the Columbia River, taken during a large storm and after, reveal changing breakwaters and bars that demonstrate the complexity and dynamics of this large system.
"We hope to begin imaging the area around Sendai, Japan, which was devastated by the recent earthquake and tsunami to see what we might learn," Davis said.
The space station orbits Earth about 16 times a day and the researchers are able to get about 5-6 good images daily of targeted locations. Cloud cover and darkness limit the number of possible images, and the transmission of data files is enormous.
Jasmine Nahorniak, a senior research assistant, developed and runs the website through OSU's College of Oceanic and Atmospheric Sciences where HICO images and other data are stored and shared with scientists around the world.
"We have a couple of thousand images and a growing number of scientists who are interested in the data," she said. "It's a work in progress."


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Sous influences
Psychotropic drugs and artistic creation have shadowed each other since the dawn of time, but it's rare that there's the opportunity to openly explore the relationship between hallucinations and visual culture. The Fondation Antoine de Galbert opens the discussion in February, bringing together rafts of modern and contemporary art – Adel Abdessemed, Jean Cocteau, Antonin Artaud, Nan Goldin, Claude Lévêque, and many more. Sober or high, clean or junkies, it doesn't really matter: each of the artists has seen, imagined or invoked pink elephants at one time or another, be they exploring the way in which the experience or art can imitate a form of 'trip' or be they using drugs as a drive to creativity, allowing them to trip across fertile mental landscapes. From Charles Baudelaire to Hans Bellmer and from Francis Picabia to Jean-Michel Basquiat, the exhibition, without pretending to be exhaustive, manages to explore a multitude of different historical periods and genres in order to lay bare this acid-strewn terrain. Between '70s psychedelic posters and Bruno Botella's sculptures made out of intoxicating modeling clay, be prepared for a hefty dose of otherworldly art.
Opening hours: Wed-Sun 11am-7pm, Thu until 9pm


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NEW YORK — Barnes & Noble returned to a profit in the fiscal second quarter as it invested less in its Nook e-book reader and cost cuts offset lower sales.
Its sales missed expectations, however, and its shares dropped more than 3 percent in premarket trading. The report comes as the crucial holiday season kicks off, when retailers can make up to 40 percent of their annual revenue.
"Our booksellers are prepared to welcome holiday shoppers and recommend thoughtful gift ideas for everyone on their list," said Michael P. Huseby, president of Barnes & Noble and CEO of Nook Media.
The company has spent heavily on building up its Nook e-book reader and digital library, but it has scaled back amid tough competition from Amazon's Kindle and the Apple iPad. It has been reviewing its strategy since CEO William Lynch departed in June and the company did not name a replacement. It introduced a new non-tablet e-book reader, a $119 Nook GlowLight, for the holidays.
Net income for the three months ended Oct. 26 totaled $13.2 million, or 15 cents per share. That compares with a loss of $501,000, or 7 cents per share, last year.
Revenue fell 8 percent to $1.73 billion from $1.88 billion last year. Analysts expected a loss of 3 cents per share on revenue of $1.76 billion, according to FactSet.
Revenue fell across all segments. Retail revenue fell nearly 8 percent to $921 million. College bookstore revenue fell 4.6 percent to $737.5 million and Nook revenue dropped 32 percent to $108.7 million.
Shares fell 58 cents, or 3.5 percent, to $15.85 in premarket trading 15 minutes before that market opened. The stock is up 9 percent since the beginning of the year.


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MaTT wrote:Okay, so I've finally managed to work out time to work on this, and I've started setting up a webserver on the server where we used to host our old servers. I'm considering using a free host which is all pre-set up for websites since its proving difficult so far, but that's going to make it a lot harder to transfer the website files from the forum to this development server.
Once I get the preperations all sorted, I will be able to start updating the forum properly, and I'll post a link here so you can all follow the development.
Good news
If you can, don't forget to work on what you know xd


text:
This special pack is capable of several effects. Here are just two of the best.
Think A Card - A spectator cuts off a packet of cards and shuffles them. He fans the packet and freely thinks of any card. The spectator shuffles the packet and then shuffles them back into the pack. Unbelievably, the performer is able to produce the thought of card from the pack. Think As I Think - A shuffled pack is cut into two piles. The spectator chooses one packet and shuffles the packet, whilst the performer shuffles the other packet. Both the spectator and the performer think of any card from their respective packets. Both packets are shuffled again, and then the two haves are shuffled together. The spectator and the performer both name their thought of cards. The performer deals the cards face up on to the table and incredibly, the two merely thought of cards are discovered next to one another.
Includes Cards, Instructional booklet and DVD with Marc Paul performing and explaining all the nuances of the Miracle Pack.
Get To Know Us
Shipping and Store Policies
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text:
- Articles
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Posts Tagged miui
Rooted my droid
So I couldn't resist the temptation to root my droid any longer. I have been running the stock ROM since I first got it around Christmas '09. I was perfectly content to just use what was given to me on my phone, besides, with what I was paying Verizon, I didn't want to chance bricking the phone and be left with an early term fee or having to buy a new phone.
So there I sat for 14 months content with mediocrity. Then I read this article on Lifehacker and my curiosity overwhelmed my better judgement. To say that the stock ROM on my droid was running slow was..to say, rather an understatement. I am not sure if I had installed too much stuff, or there were too many background programs running, all I knew is it routinely took more than 45 seconds when I switched from an application back to the desktop for me to be able to see the desktop icons…definitely not within my realm of patience.
So I took the dive and first rooted my phone with the SuperOneClick. I DID have to reboot into Windows for this, because the program only ran there and Wine couldn't find my phone (again, fears of bricking made me err on side of caution). After NOT click the 'Install Drivers' button and spending a good 20 minute refusing to read the instructions, I realized my error and before I knew it SuperOneClick had rooter my phone.
Next I rebooted and installed ClockworkMom ROM manager. I downloaded the most recent MIUI zip and transferred it to the SD card. Selected the zip file in ROM Manger and rebooted. After a lengthy back-up of the stock ROM and install of the new MIUI ROM, it was done.
A couple of things I noticed immediately that were probably obvious to more experience rooters.. not sure what to call them. First off, HOLY JUMPING JELLY BEANS, this thing is screaming fast! Faster than I ever remember the stock ROM being, and the user interactions are really snappy. I spent a good 5 minutes just flipping between screen to watch how quick everything was, score.
Second, even though I backed up all my application settings with Titanium backup pro, and I reinstalled some of my original applications (installing a new ROM means re-installing all your apps again, FYI :-0 ) I couldn't restore my previous settings, bummer, looks like I will have to redo all those Angry Birds levels.
Third, this should really be the default GUI for droid, it looks incredible, everything si extremely well polished, usually there are little things that escaped the programmers but I have only found 1 very minor graphical oops. No kidding, this ROM is really good looking, usage of transparencies and gradients really sets this apart.
I highly recommend people give MIUI a try, especially those with pokey first gen Droids that are waiting for their contracts to be up so they can get some new hotness of a phone (*cough Atrix *cough)


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Wednesday, February 28, 2007
When There's No More Room In Remedial Class, The Morons Shall Walk The Earth
That 9/11 conspiracy is an ever expanding web of deceit and lies - now the BBC have found themselves under semi-literate assault following their debunking of the major theories.
Apparently, they reported that one of the smaller buildings at the site had collapsed, some time before it actually did, raising suspicions that the Beeb may have been involved in this many-tentacled plot.
"To report that a building had collapsed before it had done so would be an odd sort of error, wouldn't it ? A bit like reporting that the Lord Mayor's trousers had fallen down before they did so."
Ah, Kant's famous Lord Mayor's Pantaloons argument! And to think, I thought the internet was infested with hooting cretins.
I've said it before and I'll say it again - the advent of online news and opinion is going to result in a world where facts become mere footballs to be punted around by fools for the benefit of frauds. In fact, I think we're already there.
There's only one question about 9/11 that remains unresolved - if the attacks happened first thing in the morning, how come I didn't hear about them until mid-afternoon?
Isn't this supposed to be the information age? Either I'm a complete idiot, or something fishy is going on here...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
The Dangers Of Mass Debating
Over the years I've been involved in more ill-tempered online debates than I care to mention.
In fact, I mischaracterise - they were less "debates" than stroppy, toy-flinging tantrums. Such forceful disagreements could only take place in the confines of cyberspace, since any attempt to replicate them down at the pub would swiftly end in accident and emergency.
I'm just as guilty as anyone of acting the keyboard hero, although in my defence I'd note that my most witless moments have come at three in the morning after a long night on the sauce.
Still, I think I've got the hang of this debating lark, to the point where I'm able to decode some common phrases. After using them so many times myself, it'd be difficult not to...
Hey, everybody has a right to an opinion...
Please refrain from pointing out the logical and moral fallacies in my arguments.
(x) may be accepted fact amongst you right/left-wingers, but that just shows that you're so indifferent to the facts that there's no point in debating.
(x) is demonstrably true, but I'd rather lay my testicles on the table and spank them with a mallet than admit it to you, dickwad.
Everybody knows (x).
Idiots believe (x).
I don't have enough time to explain to you how wrong you are.
I'm watching porn in a minimised window and I can barely type left-handed.
I think you'll find that Professor Delroy P. Wankybollocks has conclusively disproved your argument...(Link)
I am too lazy to paraphrase Professor Delroy P. Wankybollocks like everybody else.
After all, wasn't Hitler a socialist?
It's all downhill from here, pal.
Stick to the topic.
What are you talking about? I'm scared.
You're trying to crush debate by flinging meaningless accusations.
What do you mean, "Racist?"
That's what they all say.
"They" being everyone I discuss politics with.
Why, you're nothing but a shallow apologist for fascism/imperialism.
I worship Satan.
That statement makes you objectively pro-fascist.
I am Satan.
Any I missed?
Blogger and commenters prepare to educate a debater upon his errors
Some Subjects Are Off Limits
I note this purely to reassure readers that there are some topics at which I will not poke fun. Even I have some standards.
Some Lines I Will Not Cross
There are many ways in which I could attempt to spin this for comedic effect, but I think certain subjects are too serious to be used as a cheap prop for a piss-poor gag.
Yet More EU Hypocrisy
What a bunch of Euro-bastards, enforcing their undemocratic, petty laws to stop decent British citizens exercising their rights to watch pirates whenever they like. I haven't even seen Dead Man's Chest yet, and At World's End isn't out until the summer.
Yet again, it's political correctness gone mad.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Stolen Gag # 11,261
Apparently, some people contend that Dr. Kelly was in fact murdered, presumably to prevent him sabotaging Britain's plans to participate in the invasion of Iraq.
Britain already had an inquest into this incident, however, and Lord Hutton pronounced that he was "satisfied" that Dr. Kelly had taken his own life.
Actually, now that I come to think of it, I don't think Lord Hutton needed to be so smug about it. Surely gloating is undignified for such an elevated personage.
P.S. On an unrelated note, kudos to anyone who finds a more amusing headline this weekend than "Balls Used To Plug Java Mudflow".
Now that, friends, is what I call manliness.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
I Am A Genius And Should Be Made President For Life, If Not Even Longer
Critics have pointed out that the United States is struggling with a record budget deficit, and that an attack on Iran could push the price of oil over $100 a barrel with disastrous consequences for the American economy.
It occurs to me that, since President Bush and Dick the Veep are the only people who know whether an attack on Iran is imminent, they should get themselves down to the bookies and slap two hundred billion dollars on America to invade Iran this year.
Even at odds of 2-1, they stand to rake it in, and the war may even turn a modest profit. Everyone would be happy, except for the soldiers doing the fighting and the entire population of the middle east.
Mind you, they'd better not get cocky and put any cash on the US to win the war, since by my estimation the odds of victory are about fifty-fifty.
Discretion is the better part of valour, after all.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Just How Fascist Are Those Europeans?
Prof. Markovits' thesis is simple - Europe's blind hatred of all things American is closely related to its endemic anti-Semitism. Not only that, but the situation is now so serious that "Anti-Americanism has been promoted to the status of Western Europe's lingua franca."
Ordinarily I wouldn't bother with rebuttal, but this view seems to be very common amongst bloggers.
The good Professor uses many examples for evidence, including his childhood days at a Viennese school, economics, crime and punishment and, interestingly, football/soccer...
"When the United States was chosen as host of the World Cup for the summer of 1994, many of the European news and entertainment media were appalled... Europeans loudly voiced the usual objections to American crassness, vulgarity, commercialism, and ignorance.
They argued that giving the tournament to the Americans was tantamount to degrading the game and its tradition. Awarding Americans the World Cup was like holding a world championship in skiing in a country in the Sahara or playing a major golf tournament in Greenland..."
I had no idea we had caused such offence. Sorry about that.
For the most part, Professor Markovitz complains that Europeans are snooty and superior in their attitude to their trans-Atlantic cousins, a charge that is no doubt true. After all, we're like that with everybody else, especially each other.
Still, I thought I'd test out his thesis that hatred of America and hatred of Jews have become synonymous. I've researched this thoroughly, sifting through great mountains of evidence, tracing the roots of European hatreds, snobberies and hang-ups - the result is my Family Tree of Euro-Prejudice, below.
As you can see, I've begun with Europe's most obvious characteristic i.e., fascism, and split it into sub-categories.
It seems to me from close analysis that European hatred of Americans and Jews aren't closely related - my research indicates that anti-Americanism is more the bastard offspring of our paternal supremacism and matronly Islamofascism, whereas our anti-Semitism is definitely born of our revisionism, second-cousin to our neo-nazi tendencies and the grandchild of our nativism on the distaff side.
Having clearly disproven the Professor's central thesis, I've attempted to quantify the severity of Europe's anti-Americanism. The results are presented in the graph below...
Even I was shocked by my findings, although the chart clearly shows that America hatred remains a relatively minor problem in Europe, clocking in below 500 Hitlers on the Reichometer.
On the other hand, our Islamophobia has reached an amazing 2000 Hitlers, and our anti-Semitism weighs in at an astonishing 2500 Hitlers - almost two and a half MegaFuhrers.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Money For Old Rope...
Textspeak - The Nail In The Coffin Of The English Language
I'm not a fan of textspeak, whether it's the mobile phone version or the supremely lazy internet "RAOTFLMAO" variety.
I understand that the English language evolves to suit the needs of those who use it, but I cannot for the life of me understand all those "r u gonna"s, ";)"s and "LOL"s.
Speaking of which, I have it on very good authority that, thirty years from now, humans will show amusement purely by saying "LOL" in a flat monotone while their faces remain completely slack and devoid of mirth.
Stand-up comics will become entirely more physical as they will spend much of their gigs miming shocked faces using O's and colons, drawing "smileys" in the air while the audience drone "LOL, LOL, LOL" at the stage.
I'm also told it will be almost impossible to communicate in words that do not involve "2"s or "u"s, which I blame entirely on Sinead O'Connor.
Nonetheless, I've just received this text from an old friend in London, to whom I have not spoken in many a long year. Sadly, I can't decipher the text-code it's written in, so I must appeal for your assistance...
"Cnt tk n e mr, ths c t s doin my hed in. at wts end, kilin myslf only way out :( gdby crl wrld."
I'm assuming he's having a ball, since he never seems to find time to call these days.
Update!: In another exciting development, I read in the comments section of an entirely funnier blog than this one that, by the year 2030, all human beings will be known by their first initial followed by the word "Dogg".
Gospel, since you heard if from the F-Dogg.
...And More Old Rope
This time he's recommending Noam Chomsky's Hegemonia o Sobrevivencia.
Frankly, I have to disagree with my hermano Chavez. I bought it yesterday and I thought that the characters were two-dimensional, the dialogue stilted and the sex scenes rather forced.
I prefer books with more huge explosions and cool special effects. Plus, it was all written in fucking Spanish, and my diccionario Espanol de Oxford hangs in tatters. 3/10.
Chavez, saviour of the poor? That's £8.99 I won't see again in a hurry, I can tell you.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
Reality Vs The Internet
Would you believe it, I missed my weekly infusion of raw, paranoid sadism in 24 last night to watch the show about the 9/11 conspiracy theories.
I've never been so disappointed - I was hoping for poorly sourced, irresponsible allegations involving the CIA, the Ayatollahs, OJ Simpson and the twelve industrialists that really run the world. The show was actually a well-constructed, categorical debunking of some of the nuttier theories.
Not that I ever believed that there was any truth in the allegations themselves - there's no way that the Bush administration could've been behind the attacks. After all, the hijackers were successful.
The most interesting revelation in the show was the lengths that people will go to in order to maintain their precious illusions - the worst of them would rather saw off their own heads with a nailfile than admit that their theories might be inaccurate. And believe me, these theories are wild-eyed, mind-bending, gibbering lunacy.
The trouble is, if our leaders won't be straight with us, it merely provides these guys with fodder for their fantasies.
For instance, not long after the attacks, I'm sure I remember Tony Blair vowing never to allow another September 11th after 2001.
Well, I've counted five so far, and there's another one pencilled in for later in the year, so what does that tell us about the Prime Minister?
Apparently, some students have been reprimanded for using the word "Gay" in a pejorative fashion, to mean "Crap" or "Rubbish".
There's no need to read the article, but it should be noted that when I was a youngster, "Gay" was a perfectly charming word meaning "Homosexual" or "Camp".
It's terrible that kids are twisting beloved words out of their original form. Don't they realise the damage they're doing 2 the English language?
P.S. It's just occurred to me that they can all bugger off.
This Is A Stick-Up
Having recently declared the UK a nation of quivering saps, I may have to reassess my opinion in light of the news that "Thieves may be specifically targetting Staffordshire Bull Terriers".
Would you read a headline like that in France or Italy? "Leesten, Fido, just hand over ze bone and ze squeaky toy, and nobody gets hurt!"
I imagine the continentals might occasionally mug a Maltese, defraud a dachshund or burgle a beagle, but only here would thieves deliberately target an animal that's essentially a set of mobile jaws.
There may be hope for us yet.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Back Tomorrow
Thursday, February 15, 2007
British Stupidity Epidemic Claims Another Victim
"People aren't scared of the police, this country is a pushover, you can get away with practically anything!"
I don't know where she lives, but the police in Scotland are a bunch of violent fascists. I was standing outside the local primary school just last week when a patrol car pulled up and two coppers wrestled me to the floor and handcuffed me.
And would you believe it, they accused me of selling crack to children! Selling!
Good God, at those prices I was practically giving it away.
Nonetheless, the young lady on Question Time is speaking for millions of Britons* who seem to believe that the nation has descended into sub-Mad Max ultraviolence, and that liberal PC-do-gooders are solely responsible.
Can I be the first to ask, ou sont les neds d'antan?
Where are the teddy boys, punks, razor gangs, ice-cream warriors, mods, rockers, football casuals, blackshirts, paramilitaries, rioters, yardies, bovver boys and every other violent subculture that has terrified the country in the past hundred years?
Which woolly liberals were running the country when Glasgow's hospitals were treating dozens of stab victims every Saturday night? When London's East End was rank with gangsterism, which faint-hearted sap coddled the Krays?
Considering this, I've come to a realisation. It's not the government that's soft, and it's not the justice system that's stained with the ugly yellow streak of cowardice.
It's the citizenry.
Terrified by tabloid tales of roving bands of feral children, held housebound with horror as you watch the last dregs of British decency gurgle down the plug-hole?
Well, boo-fucking-hoo kids, that's life - sometimes ugly, dirty, coarse and dangerous, but vibrant, exciting and alive. If you tremble in dread every time a gang of kids walk past, you're not a clear-eyed realist, but a pant-pissing jessie.
I don't know about anyone else, but if the police state of enforced politeness these quaking wimps envision ever came to pass, I'd emigrate in a second.
Can you imagine? It'd make Nurse Ratched's ward in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest look like a Slipknot gig.
Can anyone pinpoint the exact moment when Britain tired of stiff-upper-lips and decided to bolt the doors, quivering in dread in front of the TV?
*Most of whom appear to be bloggers, succesfully giving the impression that idiocy and bloggery are the peaches and cream of the internet.
Round-Up - News From The Sandpit
Flow Of Foreign Weaponry Into Iraq "Must Be Stopped"
BBC News, 15th February 2007
"Britain will not tolerate these deadly attacks upon its soldiers," he said. "Foreign powers will not be permitted to send A-10 "tankbusters", attack helicopters and warplanes to attack our troops."
Soldiers loudly applauded the Prime Minister's statement, showing their appreciation by gluing his forehead to a tank and kicking him up the arse until his ears bled...
U.S. Military Implements New Iraq Plan
But Can "Operation Bigger Shovel" Succeed?
BBC News, 15th February 2007
New Study Finds Majority Of Iraqis "Want Coalition To Leave"
Incidence Of Yawning, Looking At Watch Up 52% - Baghdadis "Have To Be Up Early For Work"
"Goodness, Is That The Time?" - Iraqi Prime Minister Al-Maliki
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Pre-Emptive Politics
In the midst of such explosions of patriotic fervour it seems to me that we're missing a critical point - in order for Scotland to become independent, the question would have to be put to a national referendum.
Well, I didn't buy a dog so I could sit in the garden barking. If these lazy good-for-nothings can't be bothered working for their salaries, they should ask themselves why they got into politics in the first place.
Sort it out, MSPs.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Community Policing
After the accidental shooting eight times of Jean-Charles De Menezes in 2005, the Metropolitan Police accepted that it needed to urgently revise its anti-terror strategies, and did so.
Today's announcement by the Independent Police Complaints Commission noted that the Metropolitan Police made several errors during an operation in Forest Gate last year. Errors included accidentally arresting eleven innocent people, accidentally shooting an innocent man through the shoulder and accidentally smearing one of the victims as a closet paedophile.
Well, accidents happen, and the Met have been big enough to admit their mistakes. I have my contacts, and I'm glad to say that I've managed to procure a copy of the coppers' revised guidelines for anti-terror operations...
Monday, February 12, 2007
Terrorists Strike - Terror-Bosses "Refuse To Cave In To Demands"
This has led to speculation that the bombs are the work of a disgruntled anti-speed camera activist who has grown bored of chopping down and smashing the treacherous, electronic stool-pigeons.
Whoever is committing these outrages, I must urge him or her to stop immediately, lest the government decides to cravenly submit to terrorism.
Imagine if Labour ploughed money into hiring more traffic police. Why, just last week I was flashed by a speed camera whilst driving a stolen car, at least three times over the drink-driving limit and I don't even have a licence.
Thankfully, the government's money-making scams have spared me some months in prison. I think speed cameras are a brilliant idea - jolly good work, local councils.
Letter bombs, on the other hand, are rubbish. I work in an office and I'm more afraid of nasty paper cuts and sexual harrassment.
I've certainly never been sexually harrassed by a letter bomb, I can tell you.
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
I was amazed by how friendly a town it was, and it seemed that almost all of the people I spoke to tried to make me feel welcome. I was particularly impressed by the services for people waiting at bus stops - for just fifty pence and a cigarette, a man will entertain you with earthy tales and salty curse words.
Well, that was until yesterday, when I sat down to watch Ireland take on the French in the football. Not only was it by far the most violent game I've ever seen, they also showed no respect for sportsmanship whatsoever, committing handballs and illegal challenges left, right and centre.
Not even that prepared me for last night's travel documentary on quality broadcaster Bravo, "Britain's Toughest Towns" - suffice to say that my idea of an enjoyable night out involves a bit more whisky, romance and music, and significantly less knee-capping or beatings with baseball bats.
I'm just glad I didn't accept the offer to go out for a drink when I was there - I'm always up for a bit of a laugh and a joke over a drink, but this business with the hammers is too much even for me.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Gotcha Politics
Play the ball, as they say, and not the man.
In this spirit, I'm glad to see that David Cameron, the leader of the British Conservative party, is refusing to apologise for his crack habit.
Truly, things have come to a pretty pass when the leader of Her Majesty's opposition can't smoke a few leisurely bowls of an evening without being hounded by a pack of baying media hounds.
Former leader William Hague is to be commended for his broadmindedness, announcing today that he is "enormously impressed with him and this makes no difference to my view of him". Even New Labour's slap-headed pitbull John Reid agrees.
David Cameron, like all Britons, is entitled to a private life, and if he chooses to relax by honking on the odd dime-rock or two, then that is his business and his alone.
Provided he refrains from pimping out Mrs. Cameron to Conservative party donors in exchange for a few measly glass dicks, that is.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Please Fasten Your Seatbelts
PDF feels that this is an over-reaction to a non-existent threat...
"The suggestion that this is in any way essential in order to maintain air safety is obviously bollocks. Post-September 11, there should be no way for any member of the public to access the cockpit. The doors are designed so that the cabin's pressurisation holds them shut and would require 25 tons of force to open. Unless you've smuggled a high-calibre gun on board, your chances of endangering the aircraft are zero..."
If that's PDF's position, then I'll have to politely invite him to PDF off on holiday - as anyone who's visited the UK can tell you, British air travellers are one mini-bar shortage away from reverting to cannibalism.
Behind the polite veneer of civility projected by most Brits lurks a roiling vortex of pure, white-hot rage and hatred. A quick click about the internet is enough to confirm that - just give the average Briton a forum in which to express his opinions with impunity and within five seconds they're demanding heads on sticks.
In the pressurised confines of a commercial airline, a shortage of Chardonnay could lead to the airport cops opening the doors to find the biggest and strongest of the passengers gnawing on a femur.
If you disagree, I suggest an expiriment - when the hostess asks all passengers to turn off their iPods for landing, wave yours aloft and shriek "That's it, I've had all I can stand, I'm bringing this fucker down!"
P.S. That said, it's not all mindless thuggery, although more senseless violence on flights to and from Glasgow airport would cheer me up no end.
Check this out - when the pilot lands the plane, the Glaswegian passengers are so impressed by this miraculous feat of technological wizardry that they applaud.
Not to rant about nothing, but would they applaud a bus driver for succesfully pulling up at a bus stop? "Guid work big man, yir brakin' skills were pure magic!"
In the face of such slack-jawed bumpkinry, I think that air hostesses should be issued samurai swords and throwing knives.
They'll be invaluable if the yokels realise that some form of voodoo is propelling us through the air and start gibbering in their heathen lingo, invoking the sign of the evil eye and offering up human sacrifices to the Gods.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
The Best Days Of Our Lives
It's inspiring to see youngsters mastering fields in which most of us grown-ups could only dream of even achieving competence. It actually leaves me feeling hopeful that, with enough hard work, I too can make my dreams become reality.
But such children often find that their gift can also be a curse. The guy who sits next to me at work was a home-schooled child prodigy - he's very shy and lacks all social skills due to his isolation in his formative years. What he really needs is to relive childhood as the average schoolkid did.
So last Thursday I held his head down the toilet while pulling the flush, and when he got back to his desk I'd thrown his briefcase out of the window.
He grassed me up to the boss and I had to stay behind after work, but it's worth the sacrifice - anything for a pal.
Zionist-Controlled Bakeries To Be "Wiped From The Page Of History"
Heat! Magazine, 8th February 2007
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
"Yo, where my people's money be at, bitch?" - Sen. Henry Waxman
New York Times, 7th February 2007
Flanked by his bitches, righteous motherfucker and former American civilian administrator in Iraq, L.L. P-Bremer, faced disrespectful questioning today from the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee.
Mr. Bremer defended his performance as top dogg of the Coalition Provisional Authority at a hearing when Democrats criticised his allegedly weak-ass management, from which period $12 billion in cash remains unaccounted for.
California Senator Henry Waxman was particularly unforgiving, asking "Yo, bitch, where my people's money be at?"
Mr. Bremer was unperturbed, answering "Hey, y'all, when I got to tha G-Zone, shit was all fucked up, y'know? Damn straight."
When Sen. Waxman asked Bremer to explain exactly how fucked up shit was, he responded "Yo, yo, I'm here reprazentin' for tha C to tha P to tha muthafuckin' A, an' I'm tellin' y'all that was some stone-cold nasty shit."
Mr. Bremer's bitches then disrupted proceedings for some minutes with loud chants of "CPA, CPA!".
Mr. Bremer was angered by the accusation that a significant portion of the missing funds could have found its way into the hands of the anti-American insurgency.
"Hey, yo, don't go runnin' up on a brother wit' no accusations and shit. Ain't no insurgency gettin' its hands on no green, I gots tha fuckin' kung-fu grip on them muthafuckers."
The Senate investigation will only examine the missing $12 billion from the US treasury which was distributed to military personnel and often used as pillows or left in unlocked drawers. It is unknown how the three-hundred and sixty tonnes of cash was spent.
The Committee will not investigate the $8.8 billion dollars of Iraqi oil money and leftover funds from the Oil-For-Food programme that similarly vanished during Mr. Bremer's tenure.Senate Republicans dissed their opponents for attempting to make political capital in a time of war.
"Hey, G's, we bawlin' bad-style with tha' muthafuckin' insurgency," said Sen. John L. Mica, waving a fat roll of bills. "Waggin' fingaz ain't gonna straighten shit out, anyhow, y'all playa haterz."
Hearings continue tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
A Thing Of Beauty And An Expense Forever
"Women on average say they would be willing to give up sex for 15 months for a closet full of new apparel, with 2 percent ready to abstain from sex for three years in exchange for new duds, according to a new survey of about 1,000 women in 10 U.S. cities."
"Sixty-one percent of women polled said it would be worse to lose their favorite article of clothing than give up sex for a month."
It's an older and wiser Rodent that considers this question today, when merely convincing a woman to remove her clothes has become a Sisyphean ordeal.
Who knows? Maybe it's the gas mask, I've noticed some of the girls are a little intimidated.
These days, even a trip to the shops with Mrs. Rodent usually entails a lengthy debate upon the difference between the words "Want" and "Need" when applied to footwear. My usual reward is a harsh lesson in the failings of my debating skills*.
Still, it's worth noting the curious differences in human sexuality - God knows how many times I've pretended to take an interest in fashion to impress a woman. Having testicles really is like being chained to the village idiot, as Harry Hutton would say.
Unlike hermaphroditism, which is an end in itself.
*P.S. - Bear in mind that two years ago, Mrs. Rodent and I visited an exhibition of artifacts from the homes of the Romanov dynasty, the last Imperial family of Russia.
"Was Lenin a bad man?", Mrs. Rodent asked, as we entered the section on the revolution.
"Well, some people disagree," I said, "but I think he was."
Mrs. Rodent thought this over, then asked "So, was Stalin a bad man?"
"Er, Yes," I said, "Stalin was a very bad man, about as bad as it's possible to be."
"Oh," she said, and was quiet for a moment. "So why do all those people wear that picture of him on their T-shirts?"
I don't make these stories up, incidentally. That's verbatim.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
BBC News, 2nd February 2007
The Italian Violence Federation (VIGC) has suspended all riots indefinitely after serious incidents of football broke out at a Serie A fight between Catania and Palermo.
The VIGC has called off all this weekend's professional and amateur pitched battles, and also cancelled Italy's unfriendly with Romania on Wednesday.
Commissioner Luca Pancalli said: "What we're witnessing has nothing to do with violent disorder, so Italian rioting is stopping."
"One day is not sufficient," Pancalli added. "Without drastic measures, we cannot fight again. We will not allow a minority of sportsmen to ruin the enjoyment of Italian hooligans."
Italian violence has been beset by ugly scenes of passing, shooting and heading in recent years.
The Rome-based FA's efforts to stamp out the growing menace of sportsmanship faced a serious setback in 2006, when eleven Italian footballers ran amok in Germany, destroying all opposition and winning the World Cup.
Commissioner Pancalli was adamant that further outbreaks of athleticism would be harshly dealt with.
"Rest assured, we will be tackling this football problem from behind, bringing it down and hopefully snapping its shins."
Liveblogging The Apocalypse
In the short term, I would recommend abstaining from bestial sex with turkeys. Sadly, such sacrifices will have to be made.
I'm off out to the shops, hopefully the riots won't have started yet.
Update!: Hell, I was out in the street, couldn't make it to the shops... there are flocks of bloodthirsty turkeys on the rampage, burning cars, their beady eyes filled with madness and hatred for humanity...
Jesus, those bastards bite hard... having difficulty stopping the bleeding - shit, they're trying to break the door down, I'd bettar
Update 2!: They're gone now, looks like they managed to get into the flat downstairs. All I can hear is their insane gobbling... not feeling so good, this wound hurts something awful. I managed to stop the bleeding but Jesus - I can't raise the cops on the phone, they must have got to the lines...
I've got to go, I can hear scratching on the stairs.
Updaate 3!: Feelin terible, i
udtars 44445 urrrrrrr.... brains.... brains.... brains....
Friday, February 02, 2007
Oops, Butter Fingers
"(Israeli Deputy Prime Minister Shimon) Peres said in an exclusive interview broadcast on Tuesday that the bombs were dropped "apparently ... without the knowledge even of the chief-of-staff".
He told Al Jazeera's David Foster: "To be short and clear, we committed a mistake, regrettably..."
"...During the 34-day war in Lebanon last summer, the UN estimates that around one million cluster bomblets were dropped by Israel in the south of the country, 90 per cent of them in the last 72 hours before a ceasefire took effect."
Well that's okay then. God knows I've made my share of mistakes in my time, so I'm in no position to judge.
There was that time I screwed up and set off the burglar alarm when I was a bar manager, that was embarrassing. Then there was that time I was drunk and set fire to my dressing gown when I was wearing it, and put it out by pouring scalding hot coffee in my lap.
That wasn't very clever.
Then there was the time I ordered a squadron of B-52's to carpet bomb Falkirk into next week, then sent in attack choppers to strafe the rubble. I'll never live that one down.
Honestly, one little mistake and dodgy Middle Eastern TV stations never let you forget it. What about all the towns I didn't destroy?
The Freedom Omelette - That which can't be made without breaking a few eggs


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text: Sharelunker 520 Caught On Falcon wfn Six weeks ago it looked like no lake in Texas could catch O.H. Ivie in the Toyota ShareLunker race. By January 30 O.H. Ivie had produced four ShareLunkers, and anglers could follow the smoke to the lake. On January 31, Falcon International Reservoir produced its first ShareLunker of the season.Ho-hum.But since then the big bass lake on the Rio Grande has kicked out five more Toyota ShareLunkers to O.H. Ivie?s two. That puts the two reservoirs neck and neck at six Toyota ShareLunkers each with another six weeks to go in the season, which ends April 30.Toyota ShareLunker 520 was caught by Todd Elrod of Fritch, Texas, about 1:00 p.m. March 15. It weighed 13.18 pounds and was 25.5 inches long and 20 inches in girth. Elrod caught the fish on an Arkie jig in 20 feet of 66 degree water. It was held for pickup at Robert?s Fish ?n Tackle, an official Toyota ShareLunker weigh and holding station in Zapata.Genetic testing at the A.E. Wood Fish Hatchery in San Marcos showed Toyota ShareLunker 519 to be pure Florida largemouth, so that fish will become part of the selective breeding program at ShareLunker headquarters at the Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center in Athens. As of March 15, Lake Austin had sent three ShareLunkers to Athens and Lake Fork was in with one, making a total of 16 (so far) this season. Production of 13-pound-plus fish appears to be likely to exceed the long-term average of 21 per season.Anyone legally catching a 13-pound or bigger largemouth bass from Texas waters, public or private, between October 1 and April 30 may submit the fish to the Toyota ShareLunker program by calling program manager David Campbell at (903) 681-0550 or paging him at (888) 784-0600 and leaving a phone number including area code. Fish will be picked up by TPWD personnel within 12 hours.ShareLunker entries are used in a selective breeding program at the Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center (TFFC) in Athens. Some of the offspring from these fish are stocked back into the water body from which they were caught. Other ShareLunker offspring are stocked in public waters around the state in an attempt to increase the overall size and growth rate of largemouth bass in Texas.Anglers entering fish into the Toyota ShareLunker program receive a free replica of their fish, a certificate and ShareLunker clothing and are recognized at a banquet at the Texas Freshwater Fisheries Center in Athens.The person who catches the season?s largest entry will be named Angler of the Year and will receive a prize package from G. Loomis valued at $818. The package includes a G. Loomis NRX854C jig and worm rod, a Shimano ChronarchD1007 casting reel and 150 yards of moss green Power Pro super-braid fishing line. If a Texas angler catches the largest entry of the season, that person also receives a lifetime fishing license.For complete information and rules of the ShareLunker program, tips on caring for big bass, a list of official Toyota ShareLunker weigh and holding stations and a recap of last year?s season, see www.tpwd.state.tx.us/sharelunker. The site also includes a searchable database of all fish entered into the program along with pictures where available.Information on current catches, including short videos of interviews with anglers when available, is posted on www.facebook.com/sharelunkerprogram.The Toyota ShareLunker Program is made possible by a grant to the Texas Parks & Wildlife Foundation from Gulf States Toyota. Toyota is a long-time supporter of the Foundation and Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, providing major funding for a wide variety of education, fish, parks and wildlife projects.Want to catch a monster bass of your own? Check out the Fishing 101 section.


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Professional Psychology: Debating Chamber · Psychology Journals · Psychologists
Dr. Jacob Levy Moreno (born Bucharest, Romania, May 18 1889; died New York, USA, May 14 1974) was the founder of psychodrama, sociometry and the foremost pioneer of group psychotherapy. He was also a leading psychiatrist, theorist and educator. During his lifetime, he was recognized as one of the leading social scientists.
Early life and educationEdit
He grew up in Vienna at time of great intellectual creativity and political turmoil. He studied medicine, mathematics, and philosophy at the University of Vienna, becoming a Doctor of Medicine in 1917. He had rejected Freudian theory while still a medical student, and became interested in the potential of group settings for therapeutic practice.[1]
In his autobiography, Dr. Moreno recalls this encounter with Sigmund Freud in 1912. "I attended one of Freud's lectures. He had just finished an analysis of a telepathic dream. As the students filed out, he singled me out from the crowd and asked me what I was doing. I responded, 'Well, Dr. Freud, I start where you leave off. You meet people in the artificial setting of your office. I meet them on the street and in their homes, in their natural surroundings. You analyze their dreams. I give them the courage to dream again. You analyze and tear them apart. I let them act out their conflicting roles and help them to put the parts back together again.'"[2]
Moreno picked up where Freud left off, with his theory of interpersonal relations, and the development of his work in psychodrama, sociometry, group psychotherapy, sociodrama, and sociatry.
Moving to the U.S. in 1925, he began working in New York City. In his autobiography he states that, of all the places in the world "only in New York, the melting pot of the nations, the vast metropolis, with all its freedom from all preconceived notions, could I be free to pursue sociometric group research in the grand style I had envisioned".[3]
He later held positions at Columbia University[4] and the New School for Social Research.[5]
In 1932, Dr. Moreno first introduced group psychotherapy to the American Psychiatric Association. For the next 40 years he developed and introduced his Theory of Interpersonal Relations and tools for social sciences he called sociodrama, psychodrama, sociometry, and sociatry. In his monograph entitled, "The Future of Man's World", he describes how he developed these sciences to counteract "the economic materialism of Marx, the psychological materialism of Freud, and the technological materialism" of our modern industrial age.[6]
His autobiography describes his position as "threefold:
- Spontaneity and creativity are the propelling forces in human progress, beyond and independent of libido and socioeconomic motives [that] are frequently interwoven with spontaneity-creativity, but [this proposition] does deny that spontaneity and creativity are merely a function and derivative of libido or socioeconomic motives.
- Love and mutual sharing are powerful, indispensable working principles in group life. Therefore, it is imperative that we have faith in our fellow man's intentions, a faith which transcends mere obedience arising from physical or legalistic coercion.
- That a superdynamic community based on these principles can be brought to realization through new techniques..."[2]
Moreno died in New York City in 1974, aged 84.[1]
Summary of contributionEdit
There is evidence that the methods of J. L. Moreno have held up respectably over the last 100 years.[7] Subsequent research from the University of Vienna shows the enormous influence that Moreno's theory of the Encounter (Invitations to an Encounter, 1914) had on the development of Martin Buber's I-Thou philosophy, and Buber's influence on philosophy, theology, and psychology. His wife, Zerka Moreno, who still continues his work, writes: "While it is true that Buber broadened the idea of the Encounter, he did not create the instruments for it to occur." Moreno "produced the various instruments we now use for facilitating the human encounter, sociometry, group psychotherapy, psychodrama, and sociodrama".[8]
With training centers and institutes on nearly every continent, there are many thousands of students who are expanding and developing training and teaching the Morenean Arts & Sciences across the disciplines, to more fully realize Moreno's vision to make these social sciences available for "the whole of [hu]mankind."[9]
See alsoEdit
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Biographical detail: article by Lucy Ozarin, Psychiatric News (Volume 38, Number 10), May 16 2003. Retrieved on December 29 2007.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 The Autobiography of J. L. Moreno, M.D. (Abridged), J. L. Moreno, Moreno Archives, Harvard University, 1985.
- ↑ Journal of Group Psychotherapy, Psychodrama & Sociometry (Vol. 42, No. 1), J. L. Moreno, spring 1989.
- ↑ Taught at Columbia University, evidenced in recollection: article by Mary Nicholas & Gene Eliasoph, The Group Circle (August/September 2002), American Group Psychotherapy Association. Retrieved on December 30 2007.
- ↑ New School for Social Research: short biography at SibiuOnline website. Retrieved on December 30 2007.
- ↑ The Future of Man's World, J. L. Moreno, New York Beacon House, Psychodrama Monographs, 1947.
- ↑ Psychotherapy Networker, Clinician's Digest, January/February 2007.
- ↑ Psychodrama Network News, Zerka Moreno, winter 2007.
- ↑ Morenean Arts & Sciences: Moreno Institute East website. Retrieved on December 29 2007.
- Moreno, J.L. (1953) Who Shall Survive? Beacon, N.J.: Beacon House.
Book ChaptersEdit
External linksEdit
Further readingEdit
Several DVDs are available showing Moreno in action.
Jacob Levy Moreno: His Life and his Muses Disc 1: Spontaneity Training and Role Re-Training and Introduction to Psychodrama (around 1933) Disc 2: Psychodrama of a Marriage (around 1948) Disc 3: Psychodrama in Action (in the 1960's) Disc 4: Psychodrama of a Marriage: A Motion Picture 4-DVD Set
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Ron MaestriBaseball Coach/Administrator, 1972-2000
University of New Orleans
Inducted: 1996
Ron Maestri, a native of Highland Park, Ill., served the University of New Orleans as both a baseball coach (1972-85) and athletic director (1979-2000).
Under his guidance, UNO baseball went 518-247-1 (.677). The Privateers never had a losing season during his tenure and qualified nine times for NCAA tournaments. His 1974 team finished second in the nation at the Division Two College World Series and became the first Louisiana school to reach the Division One College World Series in 1984, finishing fifth. He was the Sun Belt Conference Coach of the Year in 1979. The award is now named after him. As Athletic Director, Maestri hired the likes of Benny Dees, Tim Floyd, Joey Favaloro, Tic Price, Randy Bush, and Tom Schwaner. In 2002, Privateer Park was officially renamed Ron Maestri Field.
Maestri worked with the New Orleans Zephyrs as their Executive Director and Chief Operating Officer until July of 2013 when it was announced he was returning to the dugout to coach UNO once again.
The following story by Marty Mule appeared on the May 15, 2013 edition of The Advocate. Reprinted by permission.
Former UNO coach Maestri transformed Louisiana baseball
LSU will dedicate "Skip Bertman Field" on Friday night at Alex Box Stadium against Ole Miss.
Tuesday night, another Louisiana college baseball legend will be watching the Tigers. Former Privateer coach Ron Maestri will be looking on as LSU hosts the University of New Orleans.
Bertman, of course, was the architect of the colossal program we now know as LSU baseball. But Maestri was the Johnny Appleseed of Louisiana college baseball.
Click here for full story…