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Authors and titles for Dec 2015[ total of 1105 entries: 1-25 | 26-50 | 51-75 | 76-100 | ... | 1101-1105 ]
[ showing 25 entries per page: fewer | more | all ]
- [1] arXiv:1512.00027 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Perpendicular Diffusion in the Transport of Solar Energetic Particles from Unconnected Sources: The Counter-streaming Particle Beams RevisitedAuthors: H.-Q. HeComments: Published in ApJJournal-ref: 2015 ApJ 814 157Subjects: Space Physics (physics.space-ph); High Energy Astrophysical Phenomena (astro-ph.HE); Solar and Stellar Astrophysics (astro-ph.SR); Geophysics (physics.geo-ph); Plasma Physics (physics.plasm-ph)
- [2] arXiv:1512.00028 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Mobility of Power-law and Carreau Fluids through Fibrous MediaAuthors: Setareh Shahsavari, Gareth H. McKinleySubjects: Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn)
- [3] arXiv:1512.00048 [pdf, other]
Title: Arbitrary axisymmetric steady streaming: Flow, force and propulsionAuthors: Tamsin A. Spelman, Eric LaugaSubjects: Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn)
- [4] arXiv:1512.00050 [pdf]
Title: "I got in trouble": A case study of faculty "doing school" during professional developmentAuthors: Alice Olmstead, Chandra TurpenComments: 4 pages; accepted for publication in the 2015 Physics Education Research Conference (PERC) proceedingsSubjects: Physics Education (physics.ed-ph)
- [5] arXiv:1512.00063 [pdf, other]
Title: Theory of high pressure hydrogen, made simpleAuthors: Ioan B Magdau, Floris Balm, Graeme J AcklandJournal-ref: Cogent Physics, 2015, 2: 1049477Subjects: Computational Physics (physics.comp-ph); Materials Science (cond-mat.mtrl-sci)
- [6] arXiv:1512.00081 [pdf]
Title: Near field magnetostatics and Neel Brownian interactions mediated magnetorheological characteristics of highly stable nano ferrocolloidsAuthors: Ajay Katiyar, Purbarun Dhar, Sarit K. Das, Tandra NandiJournal-ref: Soft matter 11 (8), 1614-1627, (2015)Subjects: Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn); Soft Condensed Matter (cond-mat.soft)
- [7] arXiv:1512.00100 [pdf, other]
Title: Imitation-Induced Criticality: Network Reciprocity and Psycho-logical RewardAuthors: Korosh Mahmoodi, Paolo GrigoliniComments: 6 pages, 7 figuresSubjects: Physics and Society (physics.soc-ph)
- [8] arXiv:1512.00158 [pdf, other]
Title: Quantum method for computations of flows around a body with Data analysisAuthors: Maomao Zhao, Yufei LiuSubjects: Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn)
- [9] arXiv:1512.00182 [pdf]
Title: Percolation properties in a traffic modelAuthors: Feilong Wang, Daqing Li, Xiaoyun Xu, Ruoqian Wu, Shlomo HavlinComments: The final version(with minor amendments) is pubulished by EPL(this http URL). It includes 5 pages, 4 figuresJournal-ref: Europhysics Letters 112(3): 38001 (2015)Subjects: Physics and Society (physics.soc-ph); Statistical Mechanics (cond-mat.stat-mech); Adaptation and Self-Organizing Systems (nlin.AO); Data Analysis, Statistics and Probability (physics.data-an)
- [10] arXiv:1512.00206 [pdf, other]
Title: Nemato-elastic crawlersAuthors: A.P. Zakharov, L.M. PismenSubjects: Biological Physics (physics.bio-ph); Soft Condensed Matter (cond-mat.soft)
- [11] arXiv:1512.00211 [pdf]
Title: The role of fullerene shell upon stuffed atom polarization potentialAuthors: M. Ya. Amusia (1,2), L. V. Chernysheva (2) ((1) The Racah Institute of Physics, the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, Jerusalem 91904, Israel, (2) A. F. Ioffe Physical-Technical Institute, St. Petersburg 194021, Russian Federation)Comments: 10 pages, 3 FiguresSubjects: Atomic and Molecular Clusters (physics.atm-clus)
- [12] arXiv:1512.00244 [pdf, other]
Title: CHANTI: a Fast and Efficient Charged Particle Veto Detector for the NA62 Experiment at CERNAuthors: F. Ambrosino, T. Capussela, D. Di Filippo, P. Massarotti, M. Mirra, M. Napolitano, V. Palladino, G. Saracino, L. Roscilli, A. Vanzanella, G. Corradi, D. Tagnani, U. PagliaSubjects: Instrumentation and Detectors (physics.ins-det); High Energy Physics - Experiment (hep-ex)
- [13] arXiv:1512.00257 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Noise and disorder: phase transitions and universality in a model of opinion formationAuthors: Nuno CrokidakisComments: 12 pages, 5 figures, to appear in IJMPC. arXiv admin note: text overlap with arXiv:1404.4356Journal-ref: Int. J. Mod. Phys. C 27, 1650060 (2016)Subjects: Physics and Society (physics.soc-ph)
- [14] arXiv:1512.00272 [pdf, other]
Title: Enabling Object Storage via shims for Grid MiddlewareAuthors: Samuel Cadellin Skipsey, Shaun De Witt, Alastair Dewhurst, David Britton, Gareth Roy, David CrooksComments: 21st International Conference on Computing in High Energy and Nuclear Physics (CHEP2015)Subjects: Computational Physics (physics.comp-ph); Distributed, Parallel, and Cluster Computing (cs.DC); High Energy Physics - Experiment (hep-ex)
- [15] arXiv:1512.00287 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Contribution of high-nl shells to electron-impact ionization processesAuthors: V. Jonauskas, A. Kynienė, G. Merkelis, G. Gaigalas, R. Kisielius, S. Kučas, Š. Masys, L. Radžiūtė, P. RynkunComments: 18 pages including 6 figures and 2 tablesJournal-ref: Physical Review A 91, 012715 (2015)Subjects: Atomic Physics (physics.atom-ph)
- [16] arXiv:1512.00289 [pdf, other]
Title: Nonlinear ion acoustic waves scattered by vortexesAuthors: Yuji Ohno, Zensho YoshidaJournal-ref: Communications in Nonlinear Science and Numerical Simulation 38 (2016), 277-287Subjects: Plasma Physics (physics.plasm-ph)
- [17] arXiv:1512.00291 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Radiative rates for E1, E2, M1, and M2 transitions in F-like ions with 37 $\le$ Z $\le$ 53Authors: K M Aggarwal, F P KeenanComments: 10p Text and 34 Tables will appear in ADNDT (2016)Subjects: Atomic Physics (physics.atom-ph)
- [18] arXiv:1512.00295 [pdf, other]
Title: Background Evaluation for the Neutron Sources in the Daya Bay ExperimentAuthors: W. Q. Gu, G. F. Cao, X. H. Chen, X. P. Ji, G. S. Li, J. J. Ling, J. Liu, X. Qian, W. WangComments: 15 pages, 7 figuresJournal-ref: Nucl. Instrum. Methods A, 833 (2016), 27-32Subjects: Instrumentation and Detectors (physics.ins-det); High Energy Physics - Experiment (hep-ex)
- [19] arXiv:1512.00297 [pdf, other]
Title: Sequential visibility-graph motifsAuthors: Jacopo Iacovacci, Lucas LacasaJournal-ref: Physical Review E 93, 042309 (2016)Subjects: Data Analysis, Statistics and Probability (physics.data-an); Machine Learning (cs.LG); Chaotic Dynamics (nlin.CD)
- [20] arXiv:1512.00299 [pdf, other]
Title: On the importance of hydrodynamic interactions in the stepping kinetics of kinesinAuthors: Yonathan Goldtzvik, Zhechun Zhang, D. ThirumalaiComments: 10 pages, 5 figuresSubjects: Biological Physics (physics.bio-ph); Statistical Mechanics (cond-mat.stat-mech); Biomolecules (q-bio.BM)
- [21] arXiv:1512.00303 [pdf, other]
Title: Turbulent heat exchange between water and ice at an evolving ice-water interfaceSubjects: Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn)
- [22] arXiv:1512.00305 [pdf, ps, other]
Title: Fast-neutron induced background in LaBr3:Ce detectorsAuthors: J. Kiener, V. Tatischeff, I. Deloncle, N. de Séréville, P. Laurent, C. Blondel, M. Chabot, R. Chipaux, A. Coc, S. Dubos, A. Gostojic, N. Goutev, C. Hamadache, F. Hammache, B. Horeau, O. Limousin, S. Ouichaoui, G. Prévot, R. Rodríguez-Gasén, M. S. YavahchovaComments: 28 pages, 10 figures, 4 TablesJournal-ref: Nucl. Instr. and Meth. in Physics Research A 798, 152 (2015)Subjects: Instrumentation and Detectors (physics.ins-det); Instrumentation and Methods for Astrophysics (astro-ph.IM); Nuclear Experiment (nucl-ex)
- [23] arXiv:1512.00307 [pdf, other]
Title: Multi-resolution unstructured grid-generation for geophysical applications on the sphereAuthors: Darren EngwirdaComments: This paper was presented as a research note at the 24th International Meshing Roundtable, University of Texas at Austin, October, 2015Subjects: Atmospheric and Oceanic Physics (physics.ao-ph); Computational Geometry (cs.CG); Numerical Analysis (math.NA); Computational Physics (physics.comp-ph); Fluid Dynamics (physics.flu-dyn)
- [24] arXiv:1512.00316 [pdf, other]
Title: Collective versus hub activation of epidemic phases on networksComments: Revised version accepted for publication in PREJournal-ref: Phys. Rev. E 93, 032314 (2016)Subjects: Physics and Society (physics.soc-ph); Statistical Mechanics (cond-mat.stat-mech); Biological Physics (physics.bio-ph)
- [25] arXiv:1512.00328 [pdf, other]
Title: Femtosecond single- to few-electron point-projection microscopy for nanoscale dynamic imagingAuthors: A. R. Bainbridge, C. W. Barlow-Myers, W. A. BryanComments: 14 pages, 8 figures, submitted to Structural DynamicsJournal-ref: Structural Dynamics vol. 3, article 023612 (2015)Subjects: Accelerator Physics (physics.acc-ph); Mesoscale and Nanoscale Physics (cond-mat.mes-hall); Plasma Physics (physics.plasm-ph)
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Amy Of Sugar Dove Designs is a screen printer, graphic artist, illustrator, happy wife, baker &caffeine addict. All of her creations are all designed and hand screen-printed herself, and I must admit, we're hooked!We found her shop about a month ago and fell in love with her designs, especially the "Peace, Love, Veggies" Tee.
Inspired by color, stark edges, comic books, animals, plants, the tales of Kurt Vonnegut, halftones, vintage illustrations, the weird, the mysterious, the common, and textures and patterns she sees in her everyday life
"The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper." ― W.B. Yeats
We asked Amy & she said to us, "The meaning of sugar dove to me, is "sweet peace". It combines my love of baking and my love of screen printing. All my designs deliver a super happy, upbeat and positive message. I feel that with all the sarcasm, suffering and sad things in the world, my one and only goal is to make the world a brighter place and to make people smile. She uses both color and quirky drawings as well as fonts to evoke feelings of love and happiness. Amy also always makes sure her kids tees would work for a boy or a girl. When she started screen printing it was right around the time of her niece's birth. She wanted to buy her a gift it seemed all girls clothing to be so gender specific. What if every girl didn't want to wear pink and be a princess and every boy didn't want to wear blue and play sports? Variation is the spice of life! And it was then that Amy decided to print her own line of children's clothing for people who felt the same.
Born in New Jersey, Amy attended Monmouth University where she studied Fine Art, printmaking, painting, drawing and sculpture. She graduated with a B.A. in Fine Art, with my focus on printmaking. After college, Amy moved to Boston, Mass where she worked at a busy screen printing shop and learned all the tricks of the trade of screen printing. In 2011, at the age of 25, Amy decided to quit and start her own tee shirt business. It was then that she discovered Etsy and opened my own shop. The New England winters got to be too harsh, and in search of sunshine, Hawaii became her new home & she was inspired by the "aloha spirit" and fell in love with the beauty, colors, philosophies and laid back lifestyle of the islands. It was there that she met and married the love of her life. Amy and her love have moved away from the islands and are currently residing in Jacksonville, Florida, but the aloha spirit is still with them and continues inspires her in her artwork.
Sugar Dove Designs top sellers are the shadow puppet series
Amy designed these tees to help little ones learning their ABC's 🙂
Like I mention earlier, she had us at "Peace, Love and Veggies"!
This tee is not only super cute,but it's very soft, too! We need soft in our life! It is hand silk screened with eco (and child) friendly water based ink. This incredibly soft, beautifully printed tee is 100% Organic Cotton & made by Anvil.
We thought the shirt we picked out reflected Lu's current stage well, as he is quite the veggie lovin' boy at the moment. His current favs are salad with onions and a little dressing, beets and saurkraut. I hope to keep introducing more veggies and keep his palate on the right path, we'll see how that goes 😉
If you want to see more by Sugar Dove designs be sure to visit Amy on instagram: @sugardovedesign as well as Facebook!
These are just too cute for words, guys! Do yourself a favor and hop on over to Sugar Dove Designs Etsy to see the full shop!
Much Love XOXO-

subset: commoncrawl


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Lady Ellyse walked down the main hall of her castle with her son. "Your tutor is a good one, Aryn," she said, "but there are some things he cannot teach you."
"Like what, Mother?" Aryn asked.
"The ways of the dragons."
Aryn paled. "I don't want to know anything about such evil beasts!"
Ellyse shook her head. Am I too late then? she wondered.
They walked out of the castle into the courtyard. Before them waited the servants, huddled together near the wall. Though they lived close to the dragon lands, dragons rarely visited them at the castle.
Ellyse looked at the green dragon. "Greetings, Zhade!" she said. "It has been a long time since we last met."
:Indeed it has, Guardian,: the dragon acknowledged. He looked at Aryn, still at Ellyse's side. :And is this your heir?:
Ellyse sighed. "Yes, Zhade. This is Aryn. And he is, indeed, my heir."
"I am not! Not if it means I must deal with these evil beasts! I must tell Father Petyr about this!"
:Stop, child,: Zhade said. :Don't listen to your errant priest or to your ignorant tutor.:
Aryn's jaw dropped. "Y-you can't say that!"
Zhade snorted. The servants cringed back another step. :I can. Have you been taught the dragons have clergy that outranks any human priest? This is not the time for idle talk. I have a message for your Lady Mother.: He pitched his mind-speech so even the servants gathered could hear. :Why are you afraid? If I meant you harm, you would be dead by now. Or, at the very least, homeless.: He looked at Ellyse. :Is there a place we can talk, privately?:
Ellyse nodded. "Certainly. There is an empty field behind the stables. No one," she looked at the servants and her son, "will bother us there."
Ellyse ran down the great hall. She saw a servant passing and paused. "Hera, tell Cook to get trail rations for me and one other. Have him take it to the stable and put on my horse."
"Yes, milady." The servant bowed and went about her assignment.
Ellyse climbed the stairs to the second floor. She stopped at Aryn's room. "I'm sorry, son, but I must leave. Being the Guardian of the Dragon Lands means I have duties that take me from home."
"I know, Mother," Aryn interrupted. "You've left before."
Ellyse sighed. "Yes. But this time is different. It might be a year or more before I return. And I have instructions for you." She paused, making sure Aryn paid attention. "You are not to listen to Father Petyr or your tutor about the nature of dragons."
"That's blasphemy!" Aryn said, turning from his mother to the window.
Ellyse walked to the window and turned Aryn back to face her. "I'm not finished. It is not blasphemy. It is your job. You must know this before I leave. There are classes of dragons. The ones near here are the Silver, Gold, and Green. The Silvers are the clergy and shape-changers. They are your greatest allies. The Golds are warriors and scholars. And the Greens are messengers. Do you understand me?"
Aryn nodded. "Master Dylon never said anything about classes."
"I know," Ellyse said. "This is important. If you ever see any black, red, or yellow dragons, go down to the cellars!"
"Why? Don't you protect the dragons? Aren't they all friends?"
Ellyse laughed. "No, I do not protect the dragons. I keep people from encroaching on their lands. And they are definitely not all friends. The blacks, reds, and yellows are our enemies." She turned to the door. "Remember that, Aryn. It might well save your life. I will tell the Seneschal the same thing." Ellyse left her son standing by the window. She went to her suite, hastily packed a travel bag, and left.


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We're continuing to build on our Boat pose from two days ago. Today we'll add in work to target the obliques.
Thanks again to the lovely Mary Lundstrom for helping demonstrate today's exercise. Check out Mary's class sometime! She's a wonderful instructor.
Here's the breakdown
- Begin in boat (feet down or up)
- Inhale to lengthen your spine, exhale twist your upper body and left arm to the left, keeping your knees forward.
- Inhale back to center.
- Exhale to the right.
- Inhale back to center.
- Continue for at least five full rounds, moving slowly with your breath. Work to maintain a long spine and lifted chest. If you start to tire, take a break. You can do another set of five rounds after a bit of recovery.
Kick it Up a Notch
You can make this a little more challenging by adding Fire Breath (kapalabahti) and quickening the pace. Mary demonstrates in the video here.
Some Notes
If you feel like geeking out on the anatomy of the core muscles, check out this article. It breaks down the different muscles in the core, what they do and where they are.
Why are we doing this? As yogis and as active people, we might be more attuned to how important it is to maintain a strong core to keep our practice safe and our bodies functioning as best as possible. For me, I experienced the importance of a strong core after having a C-section and losing strength and feeling in one of the places I'd always felt strong. I threw out my back badly a year later, and I know it's directly related to having the musculature disrupted. It's a situation many women experience after childbirth. And it's so hard to get that strength back, or at least to maintain it at an appropriate level.
I hope this month helps all of us become more aware of our cores and how we use them in our yoga practice and our daily lives.
I'm interested in hearing how this week is going for you! Let me know in person, in an email or in a comment on the blog.
I'm teaching Saturday at 7 a.m. and will incorporate this whole week's worth of moves into the class! It's really not as early as it seems, and I'd love to see you on your mat.
Thanks again for participating, and a special thanks to Mary Lundstrom for helping out this week.
~ Shoshana


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We advocate for policies to ensure that Tennessee small businesses can continue to thrive.
In response to Representative Marsha Blackburn's latest campaign ad, Lenda Sherrell, state director of the Tennessee Small Business Alliance, released the following statement: "The tax law passed by Representative Marsha Blackburn is a giveaway for the rich, not small businesses. Rep. Blackburn's vote for the law will cost our country…
Privacy disclaimer: Tennessee Small Business Alliance values your privacy and will never share your contact information with third parties. Rest assured that the contact information you provide us will only be used for our records and won't be published on Tennessee Small Business Alliance's website or in any materials related to our website.


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Jinhang plastics, famous wear-resistant nylon block factory, with nylon sheet, UHMWPE sheet, HDPE sheet, nylon profiled, synthetic ice sheet etc products research and development of 20 years of production experience, strong technical force, leading production technology, first-class product quality, the good faith idea first, won the trust and love of customers, pioneered the development of history.
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Jinhang plastics, high quality wear-resistant nylon block manufacturer, our wear-resistant nylon 1/5 of the block is the weight of the metal wear resistant block, 1/20 of the coefficient of friction, lubrication performance of dozens of times, greatly enhance the service life of the product, and more convenient installation, service now more than 1300 customers at home and abroad, quality and price to win customer's recognition and won good reputation.
Jinhang plastics, the professional wear-resistant nylon manufacturer, never satisfied, strives for perfection, for customers to make more perfect products and create greater value for customers, is our constant commitment and corporate responsibility, also is our eternal youth in the cruel market competition.


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When you have a ardour for anything with wheels and a motor, why not make a profession out of it? By finishing an automotive mechanics course with TAFE WSI, you may decide up the skills and confidence wanted to select up your instruments and make repairs to any vehicle. Whether you already know a automotive inside out or you've nonetheless obtained a bit of studying to do, now we have varied courses to swimsuit each studying and stage and desired profession outcome. The other day I found your web page and I felt terrible after I began studying the comments. I am 30 years previous. Hi Bryce as you learn my story you, at the right age, have to seek out the proper design faculty in US or international nation. Drawing nicely is the key and robust passion and creativity. The average person in each bracket is best off than they had been up to now. Health care prices don't have anything to do with how rich the top 1%/10%/20% are, nor does malnutrition or the tutorial system.
Folks ask if it is unattainable to make money on HubPages and after seven good years on the site, I can say yes. coaching as a physicist and the near twenty years I was lively as a theoretical elementary particle researcher. The Veyron from the house of Bugatti is predicted to come within the sixteen cylinder W16 engine mounted in separate two banks of eight cylinders. The engine features with the 4 turbochargers and displaces 8.0 liter with the stroke and the bore of 86 mm and the 86 mm respectively. The automobile is designed by Ricardo.
For much more sporty flair within the cockpit there at the moment are anthracite-coloured dials for the engine speed and highway pace display in the type of the MINI John Cooper Works Paceman, whose central instrument also bears the John Cooper Works logo. The standard trim of the new MINI Paceman likewise contains chrome purposes for the air flow controls, clearly reflecting the automobile's refined premium traits.
The accelerated tempo of the Automotive Engineering program is properly suited to individuals who've a passion for internal combustion engine growth, and the design and actualization of energy-converting systems. The required coursework draws upon the 70-yr history of world-main inner combustion engine analysis on the College of Wisconsin-Madison's Engine Research Heart, but doesn't have a required graduate analysis part. Instead, college students within the Automotive Engineering program will full a summer season practicum that exposes them to both the experimental and computational tools which might be required of engineers within the business. This exposure will prepare graduates be ready to contribute on their first day on the job.
The Belgium expertise exhibits that unions (including European and worldwide unions), national politics and even the European Union are quite helpless when they're confronted with the closure of a plant belonging to a multinational with the scale like Ford. Apart from the closure of crops of Renault (France) and Volkswagen (Germany) in the coronary heart of Belgium has made clear that the nation of origin supports the opportunistic transfer of the multinational to save lots of jobs in their own country.


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Super Mario Galaxy Gameplay VideoGaming, Nintendo, Video, Wii August 27th, 2007
I haven't purchased a next generation console yet but I am leaning towards the Nintendo Wii. Not just because of the price but because of the games and the idea that it comes with one. But, there is another game coming out for the Wii soon called Super Mario Galaxy. Possibly to be another classic when it comes to fun, similar to Super Mario 64 except with better graphics and better gameplay then Super Marion Sunshine.
Here is a new video of some of the cool gameplay in Super Mario Galaxy:
One Thought On "Super Mario Galaxy Gameplay Video"
Sly from Slyvisions.com
August 27th, 2007 at 10:06 am
My family has a Wii and they really want to get that game. I personally would rather get the new Madden game though. 🙂 I can't wait till Brawl comes out. It's going to be the best game ever.
Sly from Slyvisions.com


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Guest Cast 18 / Paraphonic @ Radio-Alternator.com
The Paraphonic sound aims to be deep, innovative and experimental. The Paraphonic project is about grass-roots experimentation and believes in supporting independent artists and their means of organic expression.
Listen special Guest Cast for Radio-Alternator.com
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (105.9MB) | Embed
1. Paraphonic – Kamchatka (Christoph Schindling Remix) (Load and Clear Netlabel)
2. Paraphonic – Kamchatka (Ocralab Remix) (Load and Clear Netlabel)
3. Paraphonic – Ornithoptica (Unreleased)
4. Paraphonic – Malkin Tower (Unreleased)
5. Paraphonic – Tribute To Pablo and Knuckles (Unreleased)
6. Paraphonic & IGOR – Collage (Kosmo Netlabel)
7. Paraphonic – Centaur (Load and Clear Netlabel)
8. Paraphonic – Vilaltic (Load and Clear Netlabel)
9. Injham – Russian Vampire (Paraphonic Dub) (Kosmo Netlabel)
10. Paraphonic – Fell Wood Dub (Kosmo Netlabel)
11. Paraphonic – Par Avion (Kosmo Netlabel)
12. Paraphonic – Autumnal II (Unreleased)
All tracks written and produced by Andrew Haines as part of the Paraphonic project except; track 1 was produced by Christoph Schindling as a remix, track 2 was produced by Ocralab as a remix and track 9 was written by Injham and produced by Paraphonic as a remix.
Paraphonic releases:
Paraphonic – Reformations E.P [Load and Clear Netlabel]
Paraphonic – Soir E.P. [Kosmo Netlabel]
All audio works are designated for CC Licence release (Attribution) and are available as free download, all tracks can be copied and shared and performed but only if credit is given to their copyright owner as they see fit. Commercial use of any of these tracks is prohibited unless a private deal is obtained from their original copyright owners.


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What are Forex Trading signals
Forex Trading signals (trade signals) are trading opportunity alerts Forex market traders, indicating buying opportunity or sales opportunity based on some system or method. The Forex signals can also transmit trading recommendations and Forex market related news to the traders.
How Forex Trading signals work
These systems try to predict the behavior of currency prices. Usually based on indicators such as we saw in the section of Forex Trading Technical Analysis, it can be very complex. While people were always involved in finding signals, currently much of the Forex trading signals are performed by automated tools, indicators or any other form of software. Much of the Forex Trading signals are emitted by a specialist in the Forex market or by a group of people. These people may provide signals based on Forex Trading Technical Analysis, Forex Trading Fundamental analysis, Japanese candlestick Trading Strategy, Forex trading charts analysis or any other types of profitable Forex trading strategies. Well they may also use any kind of automatic system.
What about Forex Trading Signals software?
Signal software is able to evaluate hundreds of indicators in thousands of different time periods for all currency pairs, and modify all parameters to find a group of indicators, parameters and simultaneous conditions, so that the system issues Forex Trading signals to buy or sell a particular currency pair. The software is also able to monitor real-time price data, volumes and other data such as interest rates, industrial production, etc. While this can give us the idea that a system can make us win a lot of money, systems signals are not perfect, on the one hand, because the man always involved in its construction, and on the other, because markets are impossible to predict. While it is possible to find certain patterns, many systems may fail to structural changes. Anyway, who use Forex signals do not expect that they are always correct, but that will generate good returns in the long term, although there periods of loss, and decrease the risk of capital loss.
Types of Trading Forex Trading Signals
The duration of the Forex Trading Signals can be of different periods of time, such as minutes, days, weeks or months. While all aim to get a return, some are willing to tolerate more volatility than others. Moreover, to generate Forex Trading Signals signal providers may try to exploit:
– Volatility
– Arbitration
– Changes in foreign exchange spreads
– Periods of overbought or oversold
– Etc.
Benefits of Forex Trading Signals
Some experienced traders build their own system forex signal, for which they must have at least knowledge of technical analysis before putting it into practice with real money, plus a lot of time, effort and dedication. At the same time, they must be vigilant, because nothing guarantees that if the signals allowed us to get good returns in the past, continue doing so in the future. So, it is a good idea to get profitable forex trading signals from expert people. Thus, you can learn when to take what type of decision and how to make your own strategy more fruitful.
How to Find Forex Trading Signals
Some brokers offer accounts that include services of Forex Trading signals. Also, there are Web sites where you can buy Forex Trading Signals; you will receive it via email or SMS. There are also platforms where one can see the Forex signals. The use of these programs or services usually has a monthly fee, which can range from a few dollars to thousands of dollars per month, but you should keep in mind that the fact that "Expensive Forex Trading Signals" does not mean that it is better than.
Before purchasing a Forex Trading Signals service, you should be able to compare several alternative systems. You must consider the age of the signal service, its performance, periods of losses, the frequency with which the system emits signals, the duration of the trades and correlation with other indices and of course, its price.
Recommended Forex Trading Signals provider:
We can recommend an excellent Forex Trading Signal Service for you, that is: ForexProfita.com. Unlike other Forex trading Signals service, Forex Profita does not show any kind of overly exaggerated advertisements like: "99% Winning rate", "become a billionaire in 5 months" or "Earn 1000 USD per day"! They are modest and provide only true signals with highest winning possibility.
While their minimum service price is $ 100, you have a chance to get signals for free! They are affiliated partner of world class HYCM broker. All you need to do is Opening a live Account with HYCM Broker, fund your submit your account details in Forex Profita. You will start to get regular trade signals.
|Chapter 11
|Further reading about Forex Trading
|Lesson 1
|Full time Forex trader
|Lesson 2
|Forex Trading signals
|Lesson 3
|Lesson 4
|How to Become an Introducing Broker


text:
Principle is a joint. Laws are the bones. Principles and laws together are the sceletons around which bodies are built.
Pragmatism is soft. It's the meat. It gives in under pressure. Yet it enables action. Priciples don't enable action, they don't block it either, they just restrict it. Under principles not every move is allowed.
The bones are different. They give structure, yet bones without principles encroach. Joints are needed so that the bones can be bent. Laws are supposed to be bent, but with principles intact. With principles broken, one is in deep shit.
Principles without pragmatism are dead. Pragmatism without principles is not dead, but is an amoeba. Nothing very complex comes out of an amoeba.*
Spineless people are the ones without the keychain. The spine is an amazing column made of bones, the vertebrae, and the joints between the bones, the vertebrae discs. The vertebrae and the discs form a chainlike structure of principled flexi-rigidity, truly and amazing combination of laws and law-bending rules, that is the actual keychain to life of modern animals, the vertebrae from fish onwards to lizards, aviary, and mammals.
Now go, and try to liken the above metaphoric symbolism to national states, the judicial system, and maybe put in business as well. Have fun.


text:
I'm continuing my explanation of my "delightful experience" with Evernote. Last time, I mentioned the search functionality of Evernote, so this episode is exactly that: search.
Evernote's Organization
Evernote gives its users a variety of ways to organize their notes. There are notebooks (like folders) that can collect a group of notes and can be managed as a group, including sharing. There are tags that can be applied to each note and I can work on a set of notes based on tag. There is an "Atlas" that groups notes based on where they were taken, which Evernote can automatically tag your notes with your location if you want. But all of this is active organization that the user can do (location tagging requires the user to activate it). But, the best part of Evernote is that it has passive organization: search.
Evernote's Search
Evernote's search is powerful and fast. Take a moment to watch this brief video of Evernote's search in the web app:
(modern browsers should be able to play that file)
I have 920 notes. When searching with the web app, you must hit enter, so as you're watching the video, you'll notice a slight delay at the end of my typing and before I hit enter. The speed is real time, not sped up. The Windows app and the Android app are even faster at searching than the web app.
Careful observers will also notice that "publishing" was actually text within an image. Evernote's search will search inside Word, Excel, PowerPoint, PDF and other documents. It also matches "near" words. When I search for "Microsoft", I will see results that match "Windows" even when the text of the note doesn't match "Windows." Evernote's search is powerful and fast. I discovered a few years ago that I didn't need to organize and tag every note. I created a notebook called "My Pile" that serves as my default folder. It has hundreds of notes in it and I almost always find what I'm looking for.
I can even save searches if it's something I'm frequently looking for. This serves as an ad hoc notebook that I can return to later. With Evernote's search, I've relied on it as a personal library, an out-of-brain memory dump of things important to me. I've been using Evernote since July of 2008 (within their first month), and I keep using it because it does enough of what I need and doesn't force me to learn its way of doing things; it allows me to bring my mental model to it and use it. Evernote's search also allows me to get creative in the ways I use the product.
Evernote's Search isn't Perfect
Perfect doesn't exist, but you might have the sense that I'm gushing over Evernote. As product designers, this is what we strive for in our products. Imperfection can be overlooked when there is enthusiasm for our product. There are flaws in Evernote's search and there are a few times that I've found myself a little disappointed that Evernote couldn't find what I was looking for. But, the vast majority of the time, Evernote nails it and leaves me delighted to use the product.
What do you think of Evernote's Search?
Submission Call
If you have software that you find "delightful," let me know what it is. We can take a look at it together and maybe I can get some UX updates put together for it.


text:
Opening Credits Scene:
It's Like A Party In Your Soul and You're Invited
Screen: Invader Zim
Scene 1:
The Planet Express crew were getting ready to leave the flea market on The Moon They all board the ship with all the items that they got. Leela got a seashell CD player, Fry got the Pets.com sock puppet, Bender got a cigar box, Hermes got an adding machine, Amy got a make up kit, and Zoidberg got a rock in a sock. Scruffy has not come yet.
Leela: Anyone like this seashell CD player I got?
Bender: Is there where you're going to listen to your goth music? (laughs)
Leela: (scoffs) What did you get Fry?
Fry: (holding a sock puppet) I got the Pets.com sock puppet! (imitates voice): Hi, people! I got a second chance!
Bender: (blows raspberry) Losers love losers! Last I heard, a breeder got him and the Taco Bell chihuaua! That's nothing compared to my Zuban Cigar Box!
Hermes: I got an old adding machine!
Amy: Got this cool make up kit.
Fry: What about you, Zoidberg? What did you get?
Zoidberg: I got a rock! (sobbing) It was all I can afford!
Amy: What's taking Scruffy so long?
Hermes: Here he comes now.
Scruffy came on board with a wooden box that looked like a brown wooden box. It had pictures of Spiders all over it.
Leela: Cool box you got there, Scruffy. Ready to go?
Scruffy: Yep.
Bender: What up with that strange box?
Scruffy: Maybe this could help me clean better.
Bender: Pfffft! Whatever! Everybody got lame things today, expect me!
The Planet Express ship leaves the Moon and heads back to Earth.
Scene 2:
A week has passed and Scruffy has been acting strange. In fact, the Planet Express building is all dirty. The refrigerator is open and food is all around, there's garbage, boxes, dishes were piled high to the ceiling. Slurm cans were all over the living room where they watched TV. Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg all were coming back from a mission. Fry was the first to see the mess.
Fry: Oh, no dudes! You better look at this!
Then Leela and everybody else sees the mess.
Leela: Oh my gosh!
Farnsworth: Bad news, everyone.
Bender: They all still got their health? (sees the mess) What the hell is this, Hoarders?
Farnsworth: For the past week, Scruffy hasn't been doing his janitorial duties.....
Bender: Hey, wait a minute, I know what happened! You all snuck back to Earth while we were on that week mission in the planet NoBotsLand, the robot hating planet, and you all had a party without me! That's why you made me dress as a blind old lady for a week and were gone for that long period of time!
Hermes: Sweet Zombie Jesus, Bender! You have a persecution complex!
Leela: No kidding there! Thinking everybody is against you!
Amy: What's the deal with Scruffy?
Farnsworth: Wish I knew.....
Hermes: Could it have something to do with that box?
Zoidberg: I could examine him!
Everybody: No! Not yet!
Zoidberg: Awwwww.. Zoidberg wanted to help......
Farnsworth: For a week or so, he just stands in the corner and talks gibberish like he's speaking in tongue.
Bender: Hey! He could be an Evangelist! Then he can have an affair with a woman and cry about it on TV. (mocking): I have sinned! (faux sobs) I have sinned! Or he could take over the 7000 Club and at the end Scruffy can say, "And Now, Let's Pray!"
Fry: Remember that from back in my time! (sees Scruffy) Look there's Scruffy over there.
Leela: Maybe you can talk to him Bender.
Fry: If anyone can get through to Scruffy it's Bender! He sure can get through to me!
Later on, Bender is outside on the balcony where Scruffy was sitting. Scruffy had the box with him. Bender turned on a radio and Nelly's Hot In Here plays and Bender starts dancing to it. Scruffy just sits there and watches looking very troubled.
Bender: Come on, everybody! Make some noise! And a one and a two. As Jackie Gleason once said, "And away we.........GO! "
As Bender starts dancing to the rap song, Scruffy looks like he's about to vomit.
Bender: Come and join me! Let's DANCE already!
Scruffy: I feel funny....
Bender: That's what they all say....
Scruffy: It's true. I feel funny!
Bender (stops dancing and walks up to Scruffy): You know, Scruffy, I know a lot of bad things happen in the world and in the universe. Trust me, caring about it is just a waste of time! You'd feel a whole lot better if you'd just stop giving a (beep)
Fry, Leela, Hermes, Amy, Farnsworth, and Zoidberg all watch to see if Bender would get through to Scruffy. It didn't happen.
Scene 3:
Everyone banded together to clean up the mess Scruffy caused. The next day, Fry, Leela, Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg, and Farnsworth were all watching a survailliance camera of Scruffy. They learn it's really Scruffy doing all the messes and he's moving very fast back and forth. Scruffy comes in to apologize. Meanwhile Bender was outside chopping and grilling a giant alien komodo dragon that he is going to pass off as a salmon.
Bender: (singing to the tune of Mexican Radio): Nobody will suspect. That I am cooking. A barbacued Komodo Dragon!
Amy: Spleesh Scruffy sure is moving fast. Like he's a vampire from True Blood.
Fry: He's holding that box while he's running.
Leela: So the box must have something do to with it.
Farnsworth: So, THAT's why the place was a mess! While you were all away on that robot hating planet, I was sleeping the whole time. Wasn't really paying attention.
Scruffy: Hey folks. Hope I'm not going to get fired.
Hermes: No, you won't. Just as long as you don't do it again.
Leela: We're in a recession, Scruffy. A job is a job.
Scruffy: Don't know what I would do if I did lose my job, cleaning is my whole life. (opens box and his eyes turn green)
Zoidberg: Bender's cooking us a delicious meal! Places everyone.
Once Bender is done cooking the alien snail, he serves it. Along with some potatoes and green beans. Everyone gathers around the table.
Bender (places food on the table): You're all gonna love this 'salmon' I caught this morning!
Leela: Is this another one of your Elzar recipes?
Bender: Nope! Say, I know what's going on with Scruffy! He's been around garbage all his life, he's finally become garbage! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Uhhh, I kill me!
Amy: Can we please have a peaceful dinner together without Bender insulting one of us?
Everyone was getting ready to eat. Scruffy then used his fork and he ate the komodo dragon disguised as a salmon very fast.
Hermes: Uhhhh, Scruffy, that's for everyone.....
Scruffy (eating fast): Hmmmm. Hmmm.. More more more.....
Bender: Save some for the rest of us! I'd expect this from Zoidberg..... I know! Scruffy's a 'garbage disposial!' Heheheheheeee!
Zoidberg: Hey! Scruffy? You know, it's been a while since I had a meal....
Everybody: We know!
Scruffy continues to eat the komodo dragon very fast until it's all gone.
Fry: Scruffy, please pass the potatoes?
Zoidberg: Scruffy, what's wrong? Don't you know how to pass food? (reaches for a plate of green beans) Here's my Josh Groban impression (picks up plate of green beans then sings in a sing-song voice): You raise it up! Hooray! Now I'm telling jokes! (laughs)
Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Amy, and Farnsworth all look at Scruffy in awe over how he's eating. They all ignore Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: WHAT?! It's only funny when _Bender_ tells jokes?!
Bender: 'Fraid so! Save some for Fry at least! After all he's the one with Karen Carpenter body.
Fry: Dammit Bender! Scruffy, pass the potatoes! I won't ask again!
Scruffy gets his fork and stabs Fry in the hand with it. Fry's hand was bleeding as the fork was embedded in his palm.
Fry: AAAHHHH!! OUCH! (cries)
Bender: Hey, Luca Brassi, when did you get in here! (laughs)
Leela: Let's go, Fry. I'll take you to the Emergency room.
Fry: Thanks, Leela. (cries)
Leela: Amy's right! It's obvious we can't have a nice dinner without something going violent!
Amy: You can say that again.
Hermes: How about I make us all some Goat Helper?
Amy: That sounds good.
As Leela takes Fry to the hosptial, they all look at Scruffy.
Bender: Scruffy, that was awesome what you did! You were A1 when you jammed that fork into Fry!
Zoidberg: That steak sauce? Where? (runs away)
Scruffy: Sorry. Don't know what got over me. Honestly.
Farnsworth: It's that box I know it is!
Scruffy: You can't have it! It's mine! (runs away with the box in tow)
Hermes: We have to find a way to get that box away from you.
Amy: So we can find out where it's from. More importantly, why it's making Scruffy act so weird.
Farnsworth: Exactly what I'm planning to do.
Amy: If he'll let us...
Scene 4:
The day after, Zoidberg was walking through the slums of New New York.
Zoidberg: I always get lost everytime I have to walk to Planet Express. Too bad they won't let me on the transportation tubes because I'm too fat.....
Then Zoidberg gets an idea once he sees Hermes's hovercar parked outside a bank.
Zoidberg: Advantage! Zoidberg! I'll take Hermes's hovercar!
Running into Hermes's hovercar, Zoidberg jumps into it and starts driving.
Zoidberg: I'm sure he won't mind. I'm his best friend! Love his insults!
Then Zoidberg sees a radio and turns it on.
Zoidberg: Time for some tunes! Then I'll look and be cool!
The radio is turned onto a heavy metal station. Truth by Seether plays. Zoidberg starts head banging.
Zoidberg: YEAH! YEAH! I AM DEATH ZOIDBERG METAL!!!! YEAH!!!!!
Out of nowhere, Scruffy suddenly appears in the car. He has the box on his lap and he's posessed again. Scruffy has green eyes and looks at Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: AHHH!! Scruffy!
Scruffy (demonic voice): You can't do this, Dr. Zoidberg!
Zoidberg: Go away! Leave me alone! Hermes is my friend!
Scruffy: Hermes hates you! He'll have you taxidermied for this! I'll make sure of it!
Zoidberg: NO!
Then the hovercar swerves and racing down the street until it crashes into a building. Scruffy jumps out unscathed.
Zoidberg (flying out of the hovercar): WOOAAAHHH!!!! What a wild ride! (crashes into the Planet Express building)
I made it to work on time.
Nobody reported for work at Planet Express yet. As everyone was on their way to work, Hermes sees his hovercar from a distance!
Hermes: My hovercar! Somebody crashed my hovercar!
Scene 5:
In a religious TV station somewhere in New New York, there was a show on called God's News. The Space Pope and Preacherbot were hosting.
Preacherbot: Hello, and welcome to God's News!
Space Pope: Today's topic is God's existance.
Preacherbot: God really does exist. He's not just some spaghetti monster and....
Then they suddenly smell fire.
Space Pope: Do I smell smoke?
Preacherbot (sees fire): IT IS FIRE! Put it out!
The Space Pope and Preacherbot struggle to put out the fire. The fire kept getting bigger and bigger. Scruffy was outside with a can of gasoline and raises his hands into the air.
Scruffy (in demonic voice): I just destroyed religion! And BURNED God's News!
Scene 6:
Back at Planet Express, they see the wreckage to the Planet Express building Scruffy and Zoidberg caused with Hermes's car crashing. They were all at the scene.
Fry: Could Scruffy had done this? He reminds me lately of a little girl who got posessed once. Carol Anne I think her name was.
Leela: Oh Lord. Everytime New New York is in mass destruction, we're the ones caught in the middle.
Bender: Whatever this is, I know you'll all blame me for this! (looks at the damage more) This looks like an inside job. Whoever did this, I am jealous! Everybody gets to commit auto theft but me!
Amy: We don't think it was you! It's globviously Scruffy!
Hermes: Sweet Gymsocks of Fort Knox! Zoidberg! (grabs Zoidberg by his shirt) YOU!!! Did this! Didn't you?!
Zoidberg: You would've wanted me to have it to drive myself to work!
Hermes: I would not let you in my car if you were the last crustation on Earth!
Zoidberg: You don't understand! Scruffy made me do it! He's posessed!
Hermes: I don't see him around! You have no idea how much this hovercar is costing me?
Zoidberg: It was Scruffy! Seriously dude!
Hermes: You give me no choice, Zoidberg! (takes out a belt and chases Zoidberg with it)
Zoidberg (runs away): Oh, Hermes, you're such a kidder! (laughs)
Hermes: Come back here, you're about to be Gone In 60 Seconds!
Zoidberg was being chased by Hermes with the belt. Then Hermes hits Zoidberg with it repeatedly and yells at him inaudible.
Farnsworth: I'm afraid Zoidberg is right.
Bender: Zoidberg is right for once?
Farnsworth: Indeed. The box has some kind of power I have to figure out what it is so I can examine it.
Leela: Where did Scruffy go? Would you like us to track him down?
Farnsworth: Yes. Fry, Bender, and Leela. You all look for Scruffy.
Fry: Where do janitors go when they don't work? (points his index finger in the air) This'll be a mystery.
Farnsworth: Scruffy usually hangs out at a gym before he reports for work. It's down the street a little ways. Off you go.
Leela: We can get that box away from Scruffy, Professor. You can count on us.
Later on, Fry, Leela, and Bender were outside the gym where Scruffy was. They strategize a plan.
Leela (looking through a telescope): Here's the deal....
Bender: Make you an offer you can't refuse! (laughs) Leela should be a Mafia Don!
Leela: Enough! Scruffy is in there working out. The box is in the locker. Fry, you go in there and get that box and bring it back here.
Fry: You're sending ME to do it?
Bender: Yes, you! Get your scrawny ass inside that gym!
Fry: Fine.
As Fry walks into the gym. He finds the locker room. Once Fry is about to go in, two trainers spot him. They looked like Hanz and Franz from Saturday Night Live. Their names were Cranz and Granz. They both wore grey sweatsuits and sneakers.
Cranz (Austrian accent): Hello skinny weakling.
Fry: Uh, hey. Are you guys any related to Ah-nold?
Granz (Austrian accent): He's our ancestor.
Fry: That's great. I'm not here to work out, just want to get something for someone here.
Cranz: Nonesense (leads Fry to an excercise bike): It's always a great time to work out.
Fry: No really, it's fine....
Granz: You can get your thing later because we're here to
Cranz and Granz: PUMP! (claps their hands) You UP! (gets Fry on the bike)
Fry: You guys are funny. But I don't need this!
Scruffy is somewhere in the gym then this posessed eyes sense something in the locker room. Inside the locker room, Sal is looking at his box.
Sal: Hey, looksies! This is one cool looking boxes! (laughs)
Cranz and Granz had Fry on the bike.
Granz: Let's turn up the speed!
Fry was pedeling too fast as Scruffy goes into the locker room and confronts Sal. Meanwhile Leela and Bender are wondering what's taking Fry so long.
Fry: Ooooooh! On a mission here! Get me off this thing! This is going to FAST!!!
Cranz: It's a mission all right!
Granz: A mission of fitness!
Fry: PLEASE! STOP! I'm not here to work out!
The exercise bike Fry was on was about to blow up the faster it gets.
Cranz: You need to go fast like this!
Granz: Because it's going to
Cranz and Granz: PUMP! (claps hands) you UP!
Leela: Fry should have been out by now.
Bender: What do you expect? This is Fry we're talking about?
In the locker room, Scruffy is about to fight Sal.
Sal: What's the ma ma little baby? Want your boxie woxie back?
Scruffy: Give it back to me!
Sal: How about we play keep-a-awayes!
Sal: Come onses, I'm joshing youses! Cna't you take a jokeses?
Scruffy: GIVE IT BACK TO ME!
Sal was getting beat up by Scruffy and an explosion occured. Fry comes flying out of the building on the side of the gym. Fry's clothes were blown off in the explosion and he was now in his underwear.
Fry: WOOOAAAHHHH!!!!
Leela: Did you get the box at all?
Fry: No, I two dudes wanted to pump me up!
Bender: Dammit! That box probably has something that makes someone really cool! Sure wish I had it.
Leela: There has to be another way.
Fry: Sorry I failed. Just like I always do.
Bender: And that's the reason why we hate you so much!
Scruffy then walks into the opposite direction where Fry, Leela, and Bender were walking away from the gym. Scruffy jumps into the air and screams. He has spiders coming out of his mouth in a cloud full of smoke. Then Scruffy shoots lasers out of his fingers and shoots everything in his path. And even punches and kicks cars and leaving a trial of destruction in his path!
Bender: Got a radical new name for Scruffy! The Scruffinator! (laughs) (In Scruffy's voice): HASTA LA SECOND! BABY!
Leela: Let's tell the Professor we failed.
Scene 7:
Fry, Leela, and Bender came back to Planet Express in disgrace. They explained to Farnsworth in their own words what happened and how Scruffy got away. Fry was back in his regular clothes
Bender: It's all Fry and Leela's fault, Professor! They caused that explosion at the gym! That's when I split that scene, pronto! Fry and Leela should be arrested! They need it right in their hands!
Leela: Ha ha ha ha ha. Always trying to pin it on someone else, eh Bender?
Fry: Just got sidetracked by some Germans who wanted to build up my body!
Bender: Your scrawny body sure needs it, that's for sure!
Leela: There has to be another way!
Farnsworth: SILENCE! Even though I'm still mad at all of you for failing to get the box away from Scruffy, I have something else in store. (walks away and looks in his closet).
Amy: Wonder what he's looking for?
Farnsworth: (walks back into the room): Eureka!
Then Farnsworth comes back with something that looks like a leash.
Farnsworth: Behold! My latest invention! It's the Planet of the Apes Human Leash! It's guranteed to pull in posessed people. So, which one of you wants to try this?
Hermes: Leela would be good for it.
Amy: Splah! Leela should do it. After all, she knows about unleashed fury!
Farnsworth: (hands Leela the leash): Don't make me regret this.
Leela: I'll do my best. Work better without Dizzy and Dopey anyway.
Fry: Which one of us is Dizzy?
Bender: You are! I'm and Dope........WHAT?!!! Did I just insult myself?
Everyone watches as Leela tracked down the posessed Scruffy. He was standing outside Planet Express causing explosions on the buildings next to the PE building. Leela takes the leash and throws it and the leash lands around Scruffy's neck!
Leela: Okay, Scruffy! Let's find out what making you posessed! (pulls the leash toward her): Hee-yah!
Scruffy didn't get choked, but Leela's forceful pull on it caused him and the box to fly forward to her. Leela brought him back into the building.
Leela: Got him, Professor! (grabs the box away from Scruffy) And his little box too!
Fry: Three cheers for Leela! I'm proud of you for that!
Bender: It's all just human luck.
Farnsworth: Here's the deal, I'll examine his box while you all take Scruffy to the hospital.
Zoidberg: I'll do an MRI on him.
As Farnsworth goes to examine the box, Everybody takes Scruffy to the hospital. Bender puts him in a straightjacket, and Scruffy is foaming at the mouth while Leela still has the leash on him.
Bender: Scruffy has Hoof and Mouth Disease.
Leela: Scruffy! We're doing an intervention on you! We're doing this because care about you and you're our friend!
Fry: We want our Scruffy back! We have to take that box away from you!
Hermes: It was destroying you, mon!
Amy: It's making you do bad things and not clean anymore.
Scruffy: RRRROOOOAAAAAARRRRRHHHHHH!!!!!! (screams in Zoidberg's face).
Zoidberg: Eeeeeeek! He.....screamed in my face. And you made me crash Hermes's car!
Hermes: Don't remind me!
Scene 8:
At Taco Bellvue Hospital, Fry and Leela were in the waiting room. Fry was laying on a couch on his side while Leela was standing next to him watching a Blernsball game on TV. Scruffy was in the hospital exam room getting an MRI, as Hermes, Amy, Bender, and Zoidberg watch.
Fry: Leela? Is Scruffy going to be okay?
Leela: We don't know that yet, Fry.
Fry: It's just that I feel so bad for him. Even though he nearly crucified me. Will Scruffy be cured?
Leela: We just have to wait to see what's going with him. Hope the MRI can tell us. You know sometimes MRIs can give false positives.
Fry: I'm betting for a true positive.
Leela: We all are. That's very sweet of you to show such concern for Scruffy. We don't we watch this blernsball game to pass the time.
Fry: OKay. For your love of Blernsball, you remind me of my mother sometimes, Leela.
The Blernsball game on the TV showed the New New York Mets won 10-7!
Leela: YES! YES! Our team won Fry!
Fry: That's nice. Cool our team won.
Zoidberg comes to Fry and Leela with the results as Bender runs up to them.
Bender: Oh your God! You should have seen that MRI machine Scruffy was in! He's not allowed to move and it makes these hilarious sounds in there! They go like boom...boom...boom...boom.....BOOM...BOOM.....BOOM! (laughs) It was so awesome!
Leela: What's the prognosis with Scruffy, Zoidberg?
Zoidberg (shows them Xray chart): Scruffy has a demon inside him...
Hermes and Amy walk up to them and had Scruffy in a wheelchair.
Fry: Demon? I'm not liking this at all......
Zoidberg: Look I'll prove it!
Scruffy opens his mouth as Zoidberg uses a flashlight. Zoidberg sees a spider inside Scruffy's mouth. Zoidberg runs away and vomits.
Leela: Was there a demon in his mouth?
Zoidberg: gulp....gulp.......gulp........gulp.......(vomits)
Amy: Whatever it was, it sure must have grossed him.
Bender: This coming from the master of being disgusting himself.
Zoidberg (done vomiting): It was a spider in his mouth!
Fry: (shrieks) That's even worse!
Leela: So, if it's a spider, then the demon was possibly a false positive on the MRI?
Bender: Would somebody please shut up about the positives!
Everyone heads back to Planet Express for some answers about the mysterious box.
Scene 9:
Later that afternoon, everyone came back to Planet Express from the hospital. Farnsworth finally got to the bottom of the mystery box.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Fry: Did you find out where the box is from?
Farnsworth: I have. It's called......hmmm....what was it called....oh yes......the Rid-Ex Box.
Then Farnsworth leads them to the viewscreen and hooks up a computer. The viewscreen shows a picture of a wooden box, a spider, and a planet.
Bender: Who the hell would name a demon box after some stuff for septic tanks?
Amy: Shut up, Bender!
Leela: What's the Rid-Ex do?
Farnsworth: Apparently, accroding to this computer, it has a spirit of a dead spider dictator inside. The Box is called Rid Ex because the spider dicator who died, his spirit was stuck inside the box for 1000 years from another planet. Thus the name of the box is called The Rid Ex Box.
Fry: Wait......what......SPIDER?!
Bender: Stuck for 1000 years. This dictator sounds like the spider equivelant of Fry!
Fry: Don't say that!
Hermes: Is the box from another planet?
Farnsworth: Yes it is. From the planet of Spidertopia! When Scruffy got the box, it posessed him and made him to all those bad things. That's because he was posessed by the spirit of Rid Ex! The evil spider dictator.
Leela: That explains everything. Is the spirit a demon?
Farnsworth: Well, it WAS an EVIL spirit so yes, you one eyed bimbo!
Bender: So much for false positives...
Farnsworth: Luckily the planet of Spidertopia as a priest there who can do an exorcism.
Fry: We don't have to go to this planet, do we?
Silence occurs.
Fry: WELL DO WE??
Leela: Of course we do. We would move heaven and earth to save any of our friends.
Bender: All of us go far when YOU'RE in trouble, Fry! (sarcastically): Believe us!
Fry (terrified): No No! Please! I can't be part of this mission! Can't I stay here?
Farnsworth: Yep, you have to go too, Fry. You are the delivery boy after all!
Hermes: You're going to Spidertopia with us and that's it!
Fry: NO! PLEASE! I hate spiders! They're so gross!
Bender carries Fry into the Planet Express ship.
Amy: Don't worry, Fry. We're all going as a team.
Leela: That's right. As a team.
And with that everyone boarded the Planet Express ship, to take Scruffy to the exorcist. Scruffy was all worn out and still spazzes out every now and then. The Planet Express ship has taken off for the planet of Spidertopia. Much to Fry's dismay who is heard screaming all thoughtout New New York.
Fry: SPIDERS!!! EEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
Petunia (yelling at the sky): So you're afraid of spiders! Get over it!
Scene 10:
Leela was flying the Planet Express ship to planet Spidertopia. Fry was fearful of the planet. Scruffy was now staring at the blank walls and drooling.
Hermes: Sweet Metric Tons of Houston! Did we forget the box that Scruffy had?
Bender (opens his compartment): Have it right here! Hopefully it'll posess me now and make me do all those cool bad things!
Leela: Thank heavens we didn't forget it. We need that so Scruffy get an exorcism and the evil spider spirit can go into the box! Seen a lot of horror movies to know that!
Fry: Oooooh! Wish you people would stop talking about spiders! Don't know what's worse. Spiders or evil demon spirits! They're so creepy! They'll probably shoot us with webs and eat us all! Let's all just go back to Earth and have the exocist come there, Leela!
Bender: Oh Your Godammit Fry! Ever since we left all you did was mope and cower! We're going to Spidertopia and that's it! Toughen up for once!
Zoidberg: I have no problem with going.
Amy: Nobody cares, Zoidberg.
Fry: No! I won't! Maybe there's just some things in this life you can't be tough about! And spiders is one of them!
Bender: You really need to man up! Amy's more of a man than you!
Amy: Splay!
Leela: Settle down people. We're in Spidertopia in 5 minutes.
Fry: Here goes nothing!
The Planet Express ship lands in Spidertopia. They land in a part that looks like a medeval kingdom. The castles and fortresses all were made out of spider webs. Spiders lived there and were going about their lives.
Bender: See Fry? Those spiders don't even know we're here.
Fry: They will eventually.
Amy: We need to find this exorcist.
Hermes (holds the box): It says on the box, "If someone gets posessed by this, contact Reverend Volta".
Fry: Spider reverends? Yeesh!
Leela: All we need to do is find this Volta spider.
Zoidberg (huffs and puffs): Scruffy needs to go on a diet!
As Zoidberg was carrying Scruffy. They all see a church in a distance that was in a dessert part of the area out of the kingdom.
Bender: A church. That could be where they are.
Leela: Only way to be sure. There's some spiders in the building next door. Fry. Go to those spiders and ask them if Reverend Volta is in that church.
Fry: WHAT?!?!!? You want ME to ask them?
Amy: You have to overcome your fears sometime, Fry.
Hermes: Or else it'll consume you and you'll be no better than Zoidberg.
Bender (shoves Fry): Get your scrawny ass out there and ask those spiders.
Fry: Fine! You'll all regret this if I get eaten! (points his index finger) I HATE you all for doing this to me!
They all watch Fry go off into the desert to ask the spiders next door to the church if Reverend Volta was there.
Fry: Me. Always has to be me! Never Bender. Never Leela. Never Hermes. Never Amy. Never Zoidberg! Me! Always me! Always has to be me! Always telling me what to do! Fry do this! Fry do that!
As Fry approaches the spiders, he sees their cooking something in a pot. He still complains and he's mumbling under his breath.
Fry: Why do I have to be here? This is torture! Why do I have to be here for when I can be at home, drinking Slurm, eating pizza and watching cool shows from the Worlds Blankiest Blank Genre, The Scary Door, and All My Circuits.....
The spiders see Fry as he walks up to them.
Fry: Excuse me, Mr Spiders. Or Misses Spiders......Do you know of a Reverend who works at the church there?
Spiders: DINNER!
Fry: (screams and runs away) I knew this would happen!
The Spiders were chasing Fry. Everybody else was looking on.
Fry: TL! BR! HELP!!!!!
Leela: TL? BR? What's he talking about?
Bender: Our initials, Leela. He's been watching too much Danger Mouse. Everytime Penfold gets chased, he usually says, "DM! DM! help".
Zoidberg: At least that's not me! It's usually me being chased.
Bender: Look at Fry running there! He's like the Naked Prey! (laughs) But he's no Cornell Wilde!
Fry manages to get away from the Spiders. Then Fry jumps into Bender's arms and then a sand trap falls beneath all of them.
Everybody: WOAH!!!!
They all land in a spooky looking Hallway. The hallway was full of brick walls and a Rogue's Gallery of Spider Leaders. Ranging from Leader Rid-Ex the first and so on. Scruffy was jumping up and down and blithering gibberish. A robed figure was secretly following them.
Scruffy: Suffering Suckatash! Suffering Suckatash! I'm not OKay! I'm not OKay!
Bender (looks at Scruffy): Were there Mexican Jumping Beans in that box or something?
Leela: What is this place?
Fry: Did us all a favor. At least we're away from those scary spiders.
Bender: Wow. Like this place. This looks like someplace a serial killer would hide dead bodies.
Amy: You're so gruesome, Bender.
Hermes: This could be where the Reverend really is.
Zoidberg (sees a spider egg): Great! Lunch! (runs after the spider egg)
Leela: Get your ass back here, Zoidberg!
Zoidberg starts eating the spider egg and sirens go off.
Fry: YUCK! That grossed me when Zoidberg ate that!
Hermes: Never mind your sensitivity! What about those sirens!
Amy: Guards are coming!
Spider Guard: You desecrated our Spider Eggs. Everytime when outsiders steal our stuff, we arrest them! You're all under arrest!
The Spider Guard makes them all assume the surrender postition and leads them to a Ruler. The Ruler's name was Boris, the ruler of all Spidertopia. Boris's room looked like a typical king's throne room. Boris was sitting on a lounge chair.
Boris: What do we have here? What's wrong with that one? (points to Scruffy)
Spider Guard: We caught these outsiders eating one of our spider eggs, sir.
Boris: Lock them in the dungeon!
Spider Guard: As you wish sir!
Leela: No! You don't understand! We need to find Reverend Volta!
Amy: Our janitor friend here is posessed by your box!
Bender: Lock up the humans, let me go! Oh, and eat the lobster!
They were all being lead to a dungeon.
Scene 11:
The Planet Express Crew was now locked in a dungeon. They all berate Zoidberg. Scruffy was now spinning.
Scruffy: You spin me right round baby....
Fry (cries): This is the worst mission ever! Scary spiders! Can't get that image out of my head of Zoidberg eating a spider egg! (sobs)
Bender: You say that about EVERY mission!
Leela: See what your lack of impulse control has gotten us, Zoidberg?
Bender: Must be your tapeworm!
Hermes: Because of you, we might not ever be able to cure Scruffy.
Zoidberg: Have mercy on me! I'm sorry! Can't help it if I'm hungry!
Amy: We should never bring him on missions ever again! (sees a vase) There could be a snake in here that could bite us! Way to go, weirdo!
Leela: We'll get to that soon, Amy. (To Zoidberg): We should have you fired Zoidberg! You destroyed Planet Express!
Zoidberg: If I'm fired where will I go?
Leela: You can go to Joliet Illinois for all we care!
Bender: Got a better place for him in Illinois! Pembroke! (laughs)
Hermes: Say, wait a minute. Did you say you saw a snake in a vase Amy?
Amy: Yes. Have any ideas?
Bender: Snake charmer dance?
Leela: That gives us an idea!
Fry: What? Now snakes?
Leela: No Fry. Hermes. You play the flute.
Hermes (takes out flute): It's everywhere I want to be.
Leela: When we get the snake out, we'll set it free and they'll unlock the door for us, we'll knock out the guards and away we go!
Zoidberg: Whatever you guys do, don't play Pop Goes the Weasel. Everytime I hear that song something pops!
Leela: That's even better! Zoidberg has strength that can get us out of here!
Bender: Not as much as me! All in favor of seeing Zoidberg nuts, say AYE!
Everybody: AYE!
Leela: Zoidberg going nuts could be our only way out!
Zoidberg: Don't do it! Don't do it!
Hermes starts playing Pop Goes The Weasel on his flute. Zoidberg gets all strong and powerful.
Zoidberg: GRRR! GRRR! GRR! GRR! GRR!! ROAAARRRR!!!!
Then Zoidberg's strength and rage causes him to break down the dungeon door and punch the walls. Everyone was free.
Amy: All right! It worked! We're free!
They all walk out of the dungeon to look for the Boris the Spider Ruler. Then they get caught by guards again.
Fry and Zoidberg: GUARDS!!!!
Then the guards capture them again and show them to Boris. Everyone objects and talks over one another.
Boris: You mean these fools escaped?
Spider Guard #1: They tried to.
Spider Guard #2: Should we put them back in the dungeon sir?
Then a Spider dressed as a Reverend comes out. It was Reverend Volta. He was the robed figure that followed the Planet Express crew.
Bender: Hope he doesn't start singing like James Brown.
Reverend Volta: Wait Great leader. Spare them. One of them is posessed. I secretly followed them. One of them tried to look for me.
Boris: I see. OKay. You can stay. If you want an exorcism, you all need to do a comedy sketch!
Bender: Comedy Sketch? That is something I am best at! I'm the one with the hilarious sense of humor around here.
Boris: But first, you all have to sit through these dances.
Boris clapped his hands and a Spider Belly Dancer comes out and dances to Surfer Blood's Demon Dance.
Leela: This song is called Demon Dance by Surfer Blood.
Fry: Hmmm. That's a fitting song for this situation.
Leela: One of my favorite bands.
Scruffy even tries to imitate and Zoidberg holds him down.
Once the Belly Dancer was done, a Russian style dance song plays as they watch a Spider do tricks with sticks and fire. The Spider dancer was a male who's dressed in Russian garb.
Zoidberg: Wow! This is awesome!
Amy: Only Zoidberg would like something so lame.
Bender: Talk about a Red Nightmare! And I'm not talking Jack Webb.
Hermes: Let's get that spider to set Zoidberg on fire.
Zoidberg: Heyyyyyy....
The Spider was done with the fire dance routine after 5 minutes. Boris then orders them to do the comedy sketch.
Boris: Let the Comedy Sketch Proceed! (claps hands)
Fry, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg all try to decide on what comedy sketch to do.
Scene 12:
The Planet Express Crew didn't want to keep Boris waiting, so they try to decide what comedy sketch they want to reeanct.
Hermes: We can do something Andy Kaufman did. Like that Mighty Mouse song....
Leela: How about we do something from Kids In the Hall? That was always a cool show.
Amy: Or maybe a Rowan's and Martin's Laugh In would be good. I can be Goldie Hawn's head.
Bender: Flip Wilson's The Church of What's Happening! No wait, the spiders here won't get black ghetto humor!
Hermes: Not all black humor is ghetto!
Leela: Who's Line is It Anyway. We can do something from that!
Zoidberg: I got it!
Fry: What's your idea Zoidberg? Bad enough you got us captured.
Bender: Any idea of Zoidbutt's is bound to be bad!
Zoidberg: We can do that musical sketch Cabbage Rolls and Coffee!
Bender: No way, dingbat! That was the worst comedy sketch ever!
Fry: I agree! Remember seeing it on that HBO special Comic Relief back in my time. It was to benefit homeless people. (angerly) Once my parents and Yancy saw that sketch, they would NOT shut up about it!
Bender: Zoidberg's idea is out of the question! I Got it! We'll do the Three Stooges Maharajah sketch! I'll be Moe, Fry will be Larry, and Zoidberg would be Curly or whoever the third stooge is.
Leela: Fine. Let's see if it's okay with Boris. (to Boris) Your excellency. We decided what sketch we will do.
Boris: Excellent. If it's funny, you'll get your exorcism. If it's not, you'll all be executed! Got it!
Zoidberg (fearfully): We understand!
Bender: Places people!
Leela, Amy, and Hermes sat on the chairs in Boris's room. Fry, Bender, and Zoidberg did the sketch at the table. They were ready to do the sketch. Little did they know, Scruffy got snatched.
Bender: Leela, ask us if the Rajah has a trick.
Leela: So, does the Rajah have a trick?
Bender: We shall see! (To Zoidberg): Majah...
Zoidberg: Ah ha!
Bender: Rajah! Rosani mickalinka zocka goochie How do you say......uh, pickle pooss... mi askie taskan fa fi he fo fine, do you have a trick for goodness sake?
Zoidberg: Rosani mickalinka zocka gooch! Throw knives!
Bender: Knives? Oh boy! (standing up): The rajah says he will throw some knives. The target here will be at random (points to Fry)
Boris was watching but was not amused.
Fry: Wait? I'M the target!
Bender (shoves Fry against the wall): Yes you are!
Fry: But he's blind as a bat!
Bender: Blind as a bat! He can see better than you can and I can prove! Where's some knives.
Amy (finds and knives and hands them to Bender): Here's some.
Bender (goes up to Zoidberg): Rajah! Knifies!
Zoidberg: Where?
Bender (hits Zoidberg over the head with the knives): Knifies! Knifies! Knifies!
Zoidberg (turns around): Knifies? (takes the knives) Oh, knifies!
Bender: This-a way! (leads Zoidberg 10 yards away from Fry)
Hermes: Would you like a drumroll?
Bender: Yes.
Hermes does a drumroll, Zoidberg then gets spun around by Bender. Zoidberg is dizzy and throws the knife at Fry's direction and misses him.
Zoidberg: Knife Throw!
Bender (sees Zoidberg has missed): Misser!
Zoidberg: Misser? Impossible!
Fry: Misser? What is he aiming at!
Bender: You'll find out. Rajah knifies?
Just as Zoidberg was about to throw some more at Fry, Rev. Volta comes inside to put a halt on the sketch.
Rev. Volta: Stop! Your friend has disappeared!
Leela: Disappeared! Who took him?
Rev. Volta: It was a decendent of our dictator of 1000 years ago. The spirit who was trapped inside the box in the first place. Please your excellency, you must let us do this exorcism now!
Boris: Okay, I approve! But be sure those outsiders never return here to Spidertopia again.
Rev Volta: Yes your excellency. It will be done.
Bender: Do you know where they took him?
Rev. Volta. Yes, it's that church. Follow me!
The Reverend leads the crew to his dunebuggy and drives out of the palace and goes to the church. They all break into the church. The church looked like a medeval Roman Catholic church. They all see a Spider dressed in black robes electricuting Scruffy with a tazer. Scruffy was tied to a chair.
Scruffy: AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!
Rev Volta: What is the meaning of this?
Spider: He desectrated our box by touching it! Now he holds the spirit of our sacred dictator! I am his desendent!
Amy: What is your name?
Spider: El Cid Ex! As like our dictator Rid-Ex!
Leela: Just like the name of the box!
Fry: Let our friend go now!
El Cid-Ex: NEVER! You'll have to catch me first!
Song: Ghost Secular Haze plays
Bender: How about we beat the crap out of you, instead! C'mon Leela! Let's kick some spidey sense into this asshole! I'll ring the bell, 'ding ding'!
Leela: I'm with you Bender!
Bender and Leela both fight El Cid-Ex as Rev. Volta, Fry, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg watched.
Leela: This is what you get for posessing our friend! (karate kicks El Cid-Ex) Hee-yah! Hee-yo!
Bender: You and your planet, your box, your dictator's spirit can all bite my shiny metal ass! (punches and kicks El Cid-Ex)
Fry: That's it! I am not going to be a stand-around-and-do-nothing type anymore! (runs off)
Everyone stand by when Bender and Leela beat up El Cid-Ex. Then after El Cid-Ex is defeated, he is knocked out. Fry comes back with a hammer and hits the comatose El Cid-Ex with the hammer.
Fry: Now to help my friends finish you off!
Then Fry hits El Cid-Ex over the head with the hammer. White puss comes out of it.
Fry: Hmmm. Think I'm finally over my fear of spiders!
Leela: Good for you, Fry. Thanks for helping us.
Bender: I won't look too far if I ever need a hitman!
Amy: That was awesome what you did.
Fry: It was the least I could do. (dejectedly): Can I go home to my jammies and teddy bear yet?
Bender (groans in frustration): Sure! Whatever!
Rev Volta: This isn't over yet. We must exorcise him.
Bender: You gonna use a cross?
Rev Volta: Nope. A wooden ladybug! (takes out a wooden ladybug)
Bender: HA! HA! HA! HA! A ladybug? What's that thing going to do with the spirit? Make it pretty?
Rev Volta: Open the box. You better all hold onto each other, it's about to get very windy.
Then Rev Volta screamed in latin and threw the wooden ladybug on Scruffy. Everything gets very windy. Stuff from the church like alters, bibles, seats, and golden cups start flying around. Fry, Bender, Leela, Hermes, Amy, and Zoidberg all held onto pillars and were about to fly away.
Zoidberg: If we look at the spirit, are we going to melt?
Hermes: That's the Ark of Covenant you idiot!
Then the spirit of Rid-Ex comes out of Scruffy's body. And slowly gets sucked into the box.
Rid Ex: You haven't seen the last of me yet!
The spirit goes into the box and it locks automatically. Scruffy is saved.
Amy: All right! It worked! Scruffy's back! You did it Rev Volta!
Song Ends.
Bender: Yeah yeah yeah. We all did it. Let's get over ourselves!
Leela: As a team. As always.
Fry: So happy Scruffy's back. Anything else I can do?
Leela (hands Fry her pocket knife): Why don't you go cut Scruffy loose?
Fry (walking up to Scruffy): What up, Scruffy? No more boxes for you for a while, huh?
Scruffy: I don't know what I was thinking. Sorry to put you through all of this.
Then Fry unties Scruffy with Leela's pocket knife. Bender now has the box.
Fry: Sure is good to untie somebody else. It's usually me who's getting untied. This wasn't your fault. Zoidberg sidetracked us.
Scruffy: Second that.
Bender: Welp, you can now go back to working with garbage. What you do best!
Scruffy was untied by Fry as he laughed at Bender's insult.
Amy: Where exactly at the Moon Flea Market did you get the box?
Scruffy: In the cleaning supplies. The guy that was torturing me there was the one who sold it to me.
Hermes: Did he tell you anything about it?
Scruffy: He said it would make me clean better. Never did.
Zoidberg: I think he wanted to trick you so he can torture you.
Scruffy: Then he told me wait and to bring it back and he gave me a warning about something about my desecrating it, but I didn't listen. Guess he wanted revenge on me.
Rev Volta: You all should go back to your planet now. Boris will be very pissed if he saw me with you guys.
Leela: Thanks for all your help getting our friend back, Reverend! Goodbye.
Everybody said goodbye to Rev Volta.
Bender: Give Boris my worst! Tell him I'd make a better leader of a planet than him!
Rev Volta: We'll do robot. We'll do.
They all head back to the Planet Express ship and take off for Earth. Leela advises everybody to destroy the box.
Leela: So nobody else has to go through what we went though, we must destroy the Rid-Ex box.
Bender: I'll do it! I'll throw it out the window! (chucks the Rid Ex box out of window)
Fry: Feeling better, Scruffy?
Scruffy: Back to my old Scruffy self! Thank you all again for saving me. Didn't think you cared about me.
Amy: Sure we do! You're our friend.
Hermes: We go way out of our way to help each other! Expect for Zoidberg.
Zoidberg: NNNNNOOOOO!!!!! When will you all stop insulting me? (sobs)
As the Planet Express ship heads back to Earth, the Rid Ex box was floating in space until a hovercar hits it. The Rid Ex box smashed to pieces. Ndnd and Lrrr were driving the hovercar that hit the Rid Ex Box.
Lrrr: Oh no! Go out and check that thing I hit Ndnd!
Ndnd: I will do no such thing!
Lrrr: It could have been a Poppler I hit!
Ndnd: Just keep going, Lrrr! Just...keep.....going!
10 Years later.
Fry and Leela were both married and in their mid forties. They were reading a bedtime story about their expirence with the Rid-Ex box with their kids Yancy and Munda.
Fry: (reading from the book): And that's how Mommy, Daddy, Hermes, Bender, Amy, and Zoidberg all freed Scruffy from the Rid-Ex Box. The End.
Leela: We hope you enjoyed our wonderful adventure story written by your father himself!
Yancy and Manda: Hooray!
Fry: OKay, kids. We're going out to dinner now.
Leela: We're leaving you with a baby sitter.
Yancy and Munda: Awwwww....
Leela: Don't worry. It's a fun one!
The door knocks.
Fry: Here he is right now.
Leela and Fry answered the door and it was Boris the Spider Leader!
Boris: I'll take care of your kids!
Fry and Leela both screamed and ran away.
Boris was really Bender in disguise. Bender takes off his spider costume and greets Yancy and Munda.
Bender: Ha ha ha ha ha! 10 years later, I still got 'em! Let's have some fun kids!
Yancy and Munda (clap their hands): YAY! Hooray for Uncle Bender!
For more information on how the character's future's turned out, read Haunted Moon Yonder for details.


text: Permanent Collection PERMANENT COLLECTION From large buildings to tiny beads, see the history of Madeline Island come alive with objects large and small. Founded by Leo and Bella Casper in the mid-20th century, Madeline Island Museum explores the rich fur trade industry, American Indian culture and relations, and the story of how we became the vacation destination you are visiting today! EXPERIENCE OUR PERMANENT COLLECTION Visitors and pelts Collections - visitors look at collections Bible Snowshoes and beaver pelts Boots Children view the collections Guests examine pelts Visitors posing Model ship EXPLORE MORE SPECIAL EXHIBITS Learn about some of the amazing women connected to Madeline Island! Learn more


text:
Joe Arias
Chaffey High Class of 1993
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Ozzy Osbourne, the godfather – or is it crazy uncle? – of heavy metal, has presided over much more than his share of insanity and controversy during a 35-year solo career. A new greatest hits collection, "Memoirs of a Madman," and a double-DVD video retrospective of the same name sum up the highlights.
Meanwhile, Osbourne reunited with Black Sabbath for a well-received 2013 comeback album, "13," and an extensive world tour. During a recent phone interview from his Los Angeles home, he revealed that another Sabbath go-round might be in store.
But so far, his only announced plan for 2015 is "OzzFiesta," a four-day, retreat-style mini-festival in May on the beach at the Hard Rock Hotel along Mexico's Caribbean coast. "I don't know much about it, apart from what I just told you," he said after rattling off the highlights. "My wife Sharon, who's also my manager, says it's a good thing to do."
In addition to OzzFiesta, our talk also covered his Halloween plans, his fond memories of tossing meat, and his abiding respect for Paul McCartney.
You don't strike me as much of a beach guy.
Osbourne: I'm not crazy about it, but I don't mind it. I don't go in the Atlantic, but I do go in the ocean. You won't see me f---- surfing.
Why release "Memoirs of a Madman" now?
Osbourne: A lot of people are asking me, with the success of the reformation of Black Sabbath, am I going to do any solo stuff any more? The answer is yes. I am going to continue to do my solo stuff, but I can't do the two at the same time. This "Memoirs of a Madman" package is to let everybody know that I haven't abandoned my solo career.
I'm doing one more Black Sabbath tour, one more Black Sabbath album, and then we're disbanding the name, I believe. And then after that, I'll be doing my solo stuff.
In a way, I'm glad that I did the things with Black Sabbath. No. 1, it was the first time we ever had a No. 1 (album) in America. No. 2, hopefully we'll end on a happy note. The only sad note about it is that (drummer) Bill Ward didn't do the last tour, for reasons that I guess have something to do with financing or something. I don't know.
It would be great for him to get it together and sort all the problems out for the next tour. It would be a great way for the four of us to end such a wonderful experience of being Black Sabbath, and what we achieved.
The fans would like to see that as well.
Osbourne: Tommy Clufetos (the drummer in Osbourne's solo band) did a great job (filling in for Ward on the most recent tour). He's a great drummer. But he ain't Bill Ward, you know?
Did assembling "Memoirs of a Madman" make you nostalgic?
Osbourne: I've got such a large body of work, over 45 years. People are like, "Well why did he put that track on, and why did he have to put that track on?" You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time. It's well put together. I'm really happy with the end result.
I can't really say much about the videos, because I don't like to watch myself on television. I try to watch it. I saw the (footage of when guitarist) Randy Rhoads was alive. It takes me back to a very unhappy period in my life. Happy and unhappy at the same time. It seems like he was with me for a long time, but he was only with me for a couple of years. He was a phenomenal player. It was absolutely mind-boggling, what he could come up with. He was a special guy.
You didn't include any highlights from your MTV reality show "The Osbournes" in your new video collection.
Osbourne: That was because it was nothing to do with my musical career. It was a TV show, which was a good idea that went f ---- out of control. The No. 1 mistake I made was having it filmed in the house I lived in, instead of a reproduction in a studio where I could go every day and come home. You have camera crews living in your garage 24/7 for three years; anybody would go f---- crazy at the end of it.
So you don't miss having those cameras follow you around?
Osbourne: It's not that. Nobody could have predicted what was going to happen with it. It started off with "Cribs." MTV said a load of people wanted a rerun, asking for it to be shown again and again. Somebody said, "Why don't you do an extended version of 'Cribs'?" It was like, "We can do that." But then it went wildly out of control.
Your 2010 autobiography, "I Am Ozzy," was very personal as well, but much less invasive than having cameras around.
Osbourne: The book was personal. People know my story, that I've been a practicing alcoholic and drug addict for most of my life. I tried to put a bit of humor with it. If you can laugh at your mistakes, it's a good thing. None of us is perfect. Everyone has got a skeleton in the closet that they don't want people to find out. I just let it go, with a bit of humor.
You and Rod Stewart both wrote books with cheeky humor.
Osbourne: Nobody wants (in a mopey voice), "Well, I woke up and I'd run out of cocaine, and I was withdrawing." We all know what it's like when you run out of dope. We all know what it's like when you wake up with a f---- headache beyond belief from drinking too much booze and you've got to do a show.
Everyone should know that's no fun.
Osbourne: It's a reason why not to f---- drink. It starts off with you going, "Well, I'll get another drink and I'll be fine." But one is too many, and 10 is not enough.
There are certain Ozzy legends where everybody knows the basic story...
Osbourne: Yeah, yeah, biting the heads off things.
...but to hear the stories behind the stories was interesting.
Osbourne: It starts off with a funny, good intention, but most times ends up in a f---- dreadful place. One time I decided to go have a few drinks, and I woke up the next morning in jail, charged with the attempted murder of my wife. And that wasn't my game plan for the night. I didn't go, "I'll go to the pub, have a few jugs of booze, come back and strangle the wife about 1 o'clock in the morning, then wake up in the jail, charged." But that's what would happen.
So you didn't plan that in advance?
Osbourne: No, no.
Do you miss the days when you used to chuck raw meat into the audience?
Osbourne: I'd always been a fan of custard pie fights, so it was kind of that, but Ozzy style. (laughs)
But you know what happened? It started gathering its own momentum. I'll never forget this. I can't remember where the gig was – in America somewhere. This cop comes into my dressing room, he's got the visor, the mace, the gun, everything, all the gear, like Robocop on acid. He goes, "Which one of you is Ozzy? Do you have any idea what you're doing to the youth of this country?"
And he shows me a Polaroid picture of a guy waiting to come into the gig, and he's got a cow's head on his shoulder – he'd just cut the head off in a field somewhere. Wow.
Someone threw this f---- frog on the stage, a big, big frog. It was on its back and it looked like someone had thrown a baby onstage. It was like, "Whoa, you better stop this." It looked just like a little baby.
People would throw meat back on the stage with razor blades. Crazy. Snakes, rats, all kinds of things
I imagine you don't miss that.
Osbourne: Of course I miss it! (laughs) I'm Ozzy Osbourne!
Do you feel you have to live up to your own reputation and be Ozzy all the time?
Osbourne: I'll be 66 in a few weeks. I don't think I have to live up to anything anymore. I just have fun doing gigs. I never thought I could write anything or do a show sober, ever. But I did the Black Sabbath shows sober, and it was so much better fun for me, and everybody.
I used to smoke cigarettes, smoke dope, do smack, every f---- thing. First, I couldn't function without it. Then I couldn't do anything with or without it. Then I thought, "This is the end of the line for my fun days."
I stopped drinking about a year and three-quarters ago. I finally came to the decision that I couldn't do it like that anymore. So I surrendered to that. I did (the Sabbath reunion tour) without anything – cigarettes, tobacco, dope, anything. And I had so much more fun without it.
And I never missed one concert. In 89 shows, I think I did one a bit suspect show. In the old days, I'd pull gigs left, right and center because I was too f---- up.
The last time you played in New Orleans was at the Voodoo Festival on Halloween weekend in 2010. You had some sort of hose that sprayed foam.
Osbourne: People want it to be red, like blood. It's kind of funny. When I used to throw meat into the audience, I'd get letters from kids' mothers saying, "What's the best way to get blood stains out of my son's shirt?" I wouldn't even think about doing that (now).
But the foam was a bit of fun. It's not harmful. It's harmless. It's a just a goof, you know.
Some of the photographers in front of the stage weren't too happy with it.
Osbourne: I always nail them.
Is it true that, before shows, you like to have a proper English tea?
Osbourne: Oh, yeah, English breakfast tea. My favorite cup is Yorkshire Gold. It's wonderful tea.
Do you do the formal ritual with the tea service?
Osbourne: No. It's just a f----- mug full of tea. I don't sit there with a scone and f---- say, "Darling, where should we go after the show tonight?" I don't dress up for the tea. I just have a cup of tea and go onstage and do my gig.
You know what? I like tea. I didn't really like the taste of booze. I liked the effect it did on me. But I can't say I savored a glass full of Chablis Chablis 1932. I drank whatever s--- was in front of me and got me buzzed.
Motley Crue, your opening act for an infamous tour in the 1980s, is retiring after the current farewell tour, yet you're still going. You've outlasted them.
Osbourne: Take that lightly, because I retired once and I came back. Tommy Lee and Nikki Sixx and the guys are really good friends. That tour, when they opened up for me ... I remember saying to their manager, "You know what? One of us is going to die on this tour.'" It was so f---- intense. Every minute there was some major drama going on. After the tour is when (singer) Vince (Neil) had the accident in the car, being drunk, and killed the drummer in Hanoi Rocks.
We were so out of control, I don't know how we got through the tour. It's one of the most memorable tours of my whole career. I remember one night in Memphis, I'd come out of a blackout, and I didn't know where I was. I'm feeling through the darkness – I was asleep in the middle of a freeway. I went up to this car in the darkness, and it was a cop car.
There was some crazy story in New Orleans about Sharon going out with the Motley Crue guys to the Dungeon in the French Quarter and there was a fight...
Osbourne: That was a daily occurrence, that somebody was fighting somebody.
Do you have big plans for Halloween? Do you go trick-or-treating with the grandkids?
Osbourne: I have a night off on Halloween. It's Halloween for me every night. Let everybody else be Ozzy for the night. People go out dressed as me.
I recently saw one of your heroes, Paul McCartney, here in New Orleans. He played 39 songs during a three-hour show.
Osbourne: When you see him, you stand in the audience and you go, "How many f---- songs has this guy written?" Great, hit songs. He's prolific. He's just amazing. I love him.
When I saw him at the Hollywood Bowl a while ago, he did a soundcheck in the afternoon for an hour and a half; people can go and watch the soundcheck by paying money to his charity. He then does a three-hour show. And I'm going, "Why doesn't he just go ahead and take a drink of water? How can he do that?" I couldn't do a four-and-a-half gig in one day. He's just unbelievable.
One time I asked his drummer, "How come he never takes a drink of water?" He goes, "Paul says that Elvis Presley never took a drink a water (onstage), so why should I?"
F---- unbelievable.
He didn't drink at all during his show in New Orleans.
Osbourne: You never see him drink anything. And before his main show, he does a huge meet-and-greet, where he meets people who want to meet him. He's such a professional guy. He's f---- awesome. I can't see too many people (before a show) because I'm going to be talking and wear down my voice. He's somewhere else.
But saying that, he only does about four gigs a month or something. I don't suppose any human person could do that night in, night out. It's just unbelievable.
Well, you found a good pace on your last tour, and you've got some more years left.
Osbourne: When you get to 60, the word "retirement" comes in on every conversation. I've always said that if I don't enjoy doing it anymore, and I can't do it anymore, or the audiences are dwindling and I'm doing a f----- coffee shop or something, then I'll quit.
But it's not a job where I get up in the morning and go (in mopey voice), "Oh, I've got another day of being Ozzy Osbourne." It's a gift. I've had a blessed life.
Music writer Keith Spera can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com or 504.826.3470. Follow him on Twitter @KeithSpera.


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