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Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Wine Writer Classification of 2013
It's bound to stir up some controversy, and the results will be fiercely contested, but I'm rather pleased with the new Wine Writer Classification of 2013. Now wine consumers have a guide to the voices in the wine writing world that have meaning, and those that are basically bus stop ads. It has taken several years for the classification to become final, and a lot of bickering and insider politicking went on behind the scenes, but I think the committee, overall, did a wonderful job. From the First Growths down to the Fifths, wine writers have been assigned their level, and the wine buying public is better off for knowing it. It's a nice bit of irony that the men and women who have made their living assigning imaginary values to wine now find themselves in a similar situation. A wine might be forever branded an "89," but now, at least, the critic finds himself forever a Fifth Growth Writer. Admit it, it just feels right.
You may notice a few wine writers who were omitted. Perhaps because they lack any significant influence. Or perhaps because they're just unpleasant people, pushy and demanding to a degree directly inverse to their actual clout. The committee was overwhelmed with pleas from wineries and winemakers to add a sixth level, Cancerous Growth, but this became unworkable when every single wine writer's name was nominated.
The committee, whose work was done in anonymity for their own safety after repeated threats from Natalie MacLean to "cut their balls off and feed them to Guy Fieri in a nice tomato sauce with a whisper of oregano" if she wasn't at least a Second Growth Wine Writer, spent long hours assessing the scope and influence of the greatest living wine writers. When they finished with those two, they slapped together the rest. In the time it took for the final classification to be decided, a few of the writers had died. Death does increase popularity, of course, and the committee urged wine writers unhappy with their ranking to strongly consider it.
You may disagree with the Wine Writer Classification of 2013, but it is done. The classification will be revisited in ten years, at which time the committee hopes the writers will have finally found gainful employment in a field at which they actually excel. At that time they will also establish a Veterans Committee to acknowledge wine writers they may have overlooked, or, like Oz Clarke, they were unable to translate into English.
Wine writing is important to the popularity of wine. The committee expressed its sincere wish that it might, one day, also be important to its enjoyment. Wine writing has its roots in man's love for wine, and his inability to shut up about it. The Wine Writer Classification of 2013 celebrates those who educate and enlighten us at the expense of entertaining us.
Each category, or Growth, represents a different level of influence, talent and longevity. A First Growth wine writer is one whose every word can move wine markets, cause buying frenzies, or ruin family businesses forever. Think Bernie Madoff, just hasn't been caught yet.
A Second Growth wine writer will have valuable name recognition and a discerning palate, like Monica Lewinsky. Not as influential as a First Growth, this causes a distinctive bitterness to the tone of their work.
A Third Growth wine writer is particularly knowledgeable but has the communication skills of Koko the talking gorilla. They often simply point at kitties.
A Fourth Growth wine writer hasn't had an original idea since he pulled the chair out from under Harry Waugh at a Confrérie des Chevaliers du Tastevin meeting and said, "Ever mistake the floor for a chair, Harry?" Irrepressible Harry dutifully replied, "Not since lunch, asshole."
A Fifth Growth wine writer is utterly convinced he is a First Growth because his blog gets over four hundred hits a week, and two wineries sent him free wine that had been refused by their wine club members and was sitting in a UPS warehouse for three months. Wine writers who also play in bands are automatically Fifth Growth because almost everyone hates them.
Here then is the Wine Writer Classification of 2013, the undisputed list of who's who in the wine writing world. Next update: 2023
First Growth
Robert M. Parker, Jr.
Second Growth
Jancis Robinson, MW
Third Growth
James Laube
Fourth Growth
Hugh Johnson
Fifth Growth
Everybody else…
Now get over it.
27 comments:
- Samantha Dugan said...
You're correct, it does feel right! I've printed this post out and have glued it to my laptop, a constant reminder and source of inspiration...maybe someday I too can be a Third Growth. Thank you and I love you!
- January 24, 2013 at 8:16 AM
- Thomas said...
This post is off base: metastatic cancer is expressed in stages, not in growths.
- January 24, 2013 at 9:02 AM
- Unknown said...
Thomas...there is only 4 stages of cancer & are of increasing strength, but otherwise your point has some validity
- January 24, 2013 at 9:41 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
My Gorgeous Samantha,
I started actually listing as many wine writers as I could think of under the Growths, but that got tedious in a hurry. I'm guessing you wouldn't want to be among them. And you know you're always a First Growth to me.
I love you, too!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, now I'm suddenly WebMD. How do you manage being both Grammar Police and Dr. Oz?
I know you're correct, sir. It's comedy, it's stupid, and as for stages, I'm catching the next one out of town.
Don't encourage him. I'm the one who needs help. - January 24, 2013 at 9:48 AM
- Dean Tudor said...
As the Canadian representative to your 2013 Wine Writer Classification Panel, I failed to lobby hard enough to get the names of certain Canadian writers up to at least the Fourth Growth of the scale.
For that, I have to apologize to my Canadian colleagues.
As to the whole procedure, I say: eh, you! See you in 2023... - January 24, 2013 at 9:59 AM
- Charlie Olken said...
aaack pffft !!!
- January 24, 2013 at 10:37 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
- January 24, 2013 at 10:43 AM
- Thomas said...
Dr. Oz? Is he the wine writer whose prescriptions put you to sleep?
More important: is that how gesundheit is spelled? - January 24, 2013 at 11:08 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Well, your panel did a helluva job. I'm sure there are numerous Canadian wine writers who deserve to be classified. There's, uh, yeah, and that guy in Toronto, and isn't there one in Vancouver? Shame they were overlooked.
As was I.
Dr. Oz used to be much bigger when he was Dr. Lb. And, yes, that is how gesundheit is spelled. But not how it's pronounced. - January 24, 2013 at 11:38 AM
- BobFoster said...
Parker praises you, you praise Parker. Isn't this a form of incest?
- January 24, 2013 at 12:29 PM
- Unknown said...
Oh Ron you don't like guys in bands??? hehe .. I once wrote a column about how guys with their acoustic guitars wreck your party.. totally uninvited and unasked for.. more obnoxious than a wine snob/boor... wouldn't it be sweet justice if these hacks got sent to hell or purgatory where they could get a taste of their own medicine, filled with hacks all plonking away on their guitars, singing their dreadful songs, sounding like a pack of drowning dogs...
- January 24, 2013 at 12:35 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Of course it is, my friend, it's called the wine business. - January 24, 2013 at 12:35 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Yeah, you should see what I get when I stroke/praise him!
- January 24, 2013 at 12:39 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Okay yeah, that was just gross. Sorry guys.
- January 24, 2013 at 12:48 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
That would be "pack of drowning Poodles..."
I always laugh when I see some poor, lonely, needy wine blogger post pictures of himself playing in some sad band, as though the fact that he can mangle music makes him more of an authority on wine, or that we give a crap. It's almost as annoying as rock stars who fancy themselves wine experts, but not quite.
Thanks for chiming in. And it's always guys with guitars, isn't it, same as on wine blogs, never women. We are a sad sex.
My Gorgeous Samantha,
A little too quick on the trigger? I know the feeling. - January 24, 2013 at 12:52 PM
- voice of reason said...
"Death... wine writers unhappy with their ranking to strongly consider it."
david - January 24, 2013 at 2:20 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Ah, I kid my friends the wine writers. Though I do think a classification of them would be really interesting, if not downright dangerous. Aside from Parkenstein, who are the other First Growths? And how many think they belong in the First Growths? They love to rank stuff, wouldn't it be fun for winery owners to turn the tables?
My other First Growths were Jancis Robinson, Eric Asimov, Gerald Asher (retired, basically) and Chronic Negress. - January 24, 2013 at 2:49 PM
- Bill Klapp said...
Ron, my man, you just died with this piece. Strong setup, then nada. I am weeping openly. It is the first time...
- January 24, 2013 at 2:51 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
I couldn't agree more.
My original intention was to do an actual ranking of wine writers. I've had this idea for months, and wrestled with it constantly. When I sat down to write it yesterday (would it excuse me to let you know I have the worst damned flu I've ever had in my life?) and got to the rankings, the task was daunting. I started listing wine writers under each Growth, and soon found that there were an amazing amount of them, most of them with little influence, as is true in most fields of criticism. I just got discouraged. I wasn't worried about offending any of them, I just couldn't find a real way to make the list funny. There are times you write yourself into a corner, and this was one of them for me. But I wanted the damned subject off my plate. And so it is.
Sorry to disappoint. You get what you pay for.
- January 24, 2013 at 3:08 PM
- Bill Klapp said...
I gladly accept any and all excuses and explanations, Ron. You burned only the tiniest amount of your credit in heaven with this one. Even Homer nods. I am choosing to believe that Neal Martin ghost-wrote the piece because you had the flu...
- January 24, 2013 at 7:18 PM
- Suk Chun Kwak said...
Dear Hosaemaster,
Why would you want to come back in ten years to revisit the rankings? I thought the whole point of the classifications is that they're set in stone so that no amount of underperformance will result in demotion, just as no amount of improvement/lobbying/bribe can get you on it if you're not there already. I think you can just leave it as it is, and anyone who still wants a spot can buy out the names, as the Bordelais do. Besides, I don't think you'll have to wait too long before some of the top growths stop functioning, and you might be able to get a bargain then. - January 24, 2013 at 10:59 PM
I asked Jancis for her thoughts. Her response was "First, I cannot be. Second, I do not deign to be. Jancis I am."
I didn't realize Hugh had that little respect for Harry Waugh. Speaking of Harry and Johnson.... - January 25, 2013 at 7:17 AM
- PaulG said...
Sir - I fail to see the difference between a wine critic who fancies himself a songwriter, and a blogger who fancies himself a comedian! Pistols at dawn?
- January 25, 2013 at 8:38 AM
- Samantha Dugan said...
I'm betting Paul has him a Gee-tar.....
- January 25, 2013 at 9:00 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Suk Chun Kwak,
Man, that's fun to type.
You have a point. But it would be something to look forward to every ten years, screwing with wine writers. And, as creator of the classification system, I think you're crazy if you think bribery won't work to get promoted.
Perfect! Great Jancis line.
Oh, all the Brits use to regularly pull Harry's chair out from under him. It's just like they wait until Clive Coates is passed out drunk and then they paint on that ludicrous beard.
Yes, you and pistols at Dawn, I'll shoot Tony Orlando!
I kept running into wine bloggers, all men, who also played music, and it started to make me laugh. You, 1WineDoody, Jeremy Parzen... What, it's not enough to drive the babes crazy with wine knowledge? However, I am guessing that there are probably a bunch of male music bloggers who brag about their wine cellars.
My Gorgeous Samantha,
He do! - January 25, 2013 at 9:24 AM
- Eric V. Orange said...
Paul may have a gee-tar, but that was a funny comment.
EVO - January 27, 2013 at 4:58 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
It was a funny comment. For a guy who plays guitar, anyway. - January 27, 2013 at 9:00 AM


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A virtual dice roller tool is a great way to add excitement and randomness to any game or activity. It can be used to spice up a board game, to add an element of chance to a card game, or even to help make decisions in real life.
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Since their creation, dice have advanced significantly. Now, at Randomtools.io, we can just roll a virtual die in place of utilizing actual dice. We may roll the die and generate a completely random number between 1 and 6 by simply clicking on it.
Yes, you can roll a dice on your phone with Random tools virtual dice roller tool. All you need is a browser run the tool. No app download or singin required.
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Virtual dice, like the Random tools dice roller, are generated using algorithms that generate pseudo-random numbers, which are also not completely random. However, relative to most actual dice, a virtual dice roll is probably closer to true randomness.
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CloseScripture References: Luke 20:1-8
Have you ever been to a memorable dinner party? What made it memorable? The food? The company? The conversation?
On this Veterans' Day week, who are you thanking and honoring that served?
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Medium Star - Free Crochet Pattern
Click the banners below for more of our most popular patterns, available via download!
Medium Star
Easy Skill
Size:About 3½" round.
Materials:Worsted Weight Yarn
Blue - 12 yds
Crochet Hook:Size I-9 (5.50 mm)
ch - chain
dc - double crochet
hdc - half double crochet
lp - loop
rem - remaining
rep - repeat
rnd - round
sc - single crochet
sl st - slip stitch
sp - space
st - stitch
yo - yarn over
Rnd 1:(Right Side) Starting at center, ch 4, sl st in first ch to form ring; ch 1(loosely), 15 dc in ring; join with sl st to first dc. (15 dc)
Rnd 2:* Ch 5, sl st in 2nd ch from hook, sc in next ch, hdc in next ch, dc in next ch, skip next 2 dc (on Rnd 1), sl st in next dc; rep from * around. (5 points) Finish off and weave in ends.
All Rights Reserved ©2014 Maggie Weldon
We have made every effort to make sure the instructions are accurate & complete. We cannot however be responsible for human error, variations in individual work or typographical mistakes.
No part of our publications or websites may be reproduced or distributed by any means, including but not limited to: screen shots, photocopies, photographs, tracings, scans, uploads, emails, recording of instructions by word of mouth through storage and retrieval systems, without the express written consent of the publisher.
Reviews for Medium Star Free Pattern
Tammy Kinney on Mar 24, 2013
I am always find great patterns and ideas at Maggie's. This pattern is easy and quick to work up. I was creating a "Reach for the Stars" Theme hat for a "Mad Hatter Fundraiser" I used this pattern for the stars using various yarn weights and hook sizes...oh and even added a tail to some to make shooting stars.


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Terms, Conditions, and Notices
Agreement between Muddy Man Storage and Customer
Welcome to Muddy Man Storage (the "website"). This website is provided solely to assist customers in gathering information about self storage, determining the availability of self storage units plus related goods and services, making legitimate reservations, or otherwise transacting business with self storage space suppliers, and for no other purposes. The terms "we", "us", "our" and "Muddy Man Storage" refer to "www.muddymanstorage.com" and/or our subsidiaries. The term "you" refers to the customer visiting the website, mobile site and/or booking self storage unit reservation(s) through us on this website, via phone, and/or through our agents.
This website and related platforms are offered to you conditioned upon your acceptance without modification of all the terms, conditions, and notices set forth below (collectively, the "Agreement"). By accessing or using this website in any manner, you agree to be bound by the Agreement. If you do not accept all of these terms and conditions, please do not use this website or related platforms. We reserve the right at any time, at our sole discretion, to change or otherwise modify the Agreement without prior notice, and your continued access or use of this website or its related platforms signifies your acceptance of the updated or modified Agreement. Be sure to return to this page to review the most current version of the Agreement.
Use of the Website
As a condition of your use of this website, you warrant that:
- You are at least 18 years of age;
- You possess the legal authority to create a binding legal obligation;
- You will use this website in accordance with this Agreement;
- You will only use this website to make legitimate self storage unit reservation(s) for you or for another person for whom you are legally authorized to act;
- All information supplied by you on this website is true, accurate, current and complete;
- If you make a reservation or otherwise transact online with Muddy Man Storage, you will safeguard your login information and will supervise and be completely responsible for login by anyone other than you. We retain the right at our sole discretion to deny anyone access to this website and the self storage units we offer, at any time and for any reason, including, but not limited to, for violation of this Agreement.
Use of the Mobile Site
Muddy Man Storage's mobile site is provided in the same way, for the same purposes, and under the same conditions as the website. By accessing or using the mobile site in any manner, you agree to be bound by the Agreement. If you do not accept all of these terms and conditions, please do not use the mobile site.
Use of Digital Call Records
Muddy Man Storage uses technology that records incoming telephone calls. If you initiate a call to one of our tracked phone numbers, we will, at our discretion, create a digital audio recording of the telephone call. We represent and warrant that we have established proper procedures to protect the privacy of all callers in connection with call recording services, and otherwise fully comply with all applicable laws, regulations and governmental or self-regulatory guidelines. A voice alert is played at the beginning of each call to notify callers that the call will be recorded. Our use of the call recording is for quality assurance, customer service, and data tracking purposes only. If you choose to allow yourself to be recorded by continuing with the phone call after the recording notification, you expressly agree and acknowledge that:`
- Our employees, contractors, officers, agents, authorized representatives or other trusted third parties may listen to a call that has been recorded on our behalf;
- Recording, transcribing, monitoring, analyzing and archiving calls may include, without limitation, the reporting and archiving of personal and non-personal data related to such calls;
- You shall determine in advance, in your sole discretion without reliance on us, whether the use of the call recording is appropriate and legal for you. You may elect not to use or to cease use of the call recording.
- Muddy Man Storage shall have no liability whatsoever in respect of the call recordings and their contents, including any personal information provided by you or commentary made by you.
Prohibited Activities
The content and information on this website (including, but not limited to, price and availability of self storage units), as well as the infrastructure used to provide such content and information, is proprietary to us or our suppliers and providers. While you may make limited copies of your self storage reservation(s) and related documents for self storage unit(s) booked through this website, you agree not to otherwise modify, copy, distribute, transmit, display, perform, reproduce, publish, license, create derivative works from, transfer, or sell or re-sell any information, software, products, or units obtained from or through this website.
Additionally, you agree not to:
- Use this website or its contents for any commercial purpose;
- Make any speculative, false, or fraudulent reservation or any reservation in anticipation of demand;
- Access, monitor or copy any content or information of this website using any robot, spider, scraper or other automated means or any manual process for any purpose without our express written permission;
- Violate the restrictions in any robot exclusion headers on this website or bypass or circumvent other measures employed to prevent or limit access to this website;
- Take any action that imposes, or may impose, in our discretion, an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our infrastructure;
- Deep-link to any portion of this website (including, without limitation, the rental path for any self storage related information) for any purpose without our express written permission; or
- "Frame", "mirror" or otherwise incorporate any part of this website into any other website without our prior written authorization.
Supplier Rules and Restrictions
Separate terms and conditions will apply to any reservation and rental of self storage unit(s) that you select. Please read these separate terms and conditions carefully. You agree to abide by the terms and conditions of rental imposed by any self storage space supplier with whom you elect to deal, including, but not limited to, payment of all amounts when due and compliance with the supplier's rules and restrictions regarding availability and use of rates, products, or units. You acknowledge that some third-party providers offering certain services and/or activities may require you to sign their liability waiver prior to participating in the service and/or activity they offer. You understand that any violation of any such supplier's rules and restrictions may result in cancellation of your reservation(s), in your being denied access to the applicable self storage unit(s), in your forfeiting any monies paid for such reservation(s), and/or in our debiting your account for any costs we incur as a result of such violation.
Website Copyrights
If you believe in good faith that materials hosted by us infringe your copyright, you (or your agent) may send us a written notice that includes the following information:
- A clear identification of the copyrighted work you claim was infringed;
- A clear identification of the material you claim is infringing the copyrighted work, and information that will allow us to locate that material on the website, such as a link to the infringing material;
- Your contact information so that we can reply to your complaint, preferably including an email address and telephone number;
- A statement that you have a "good faith belief that the material that is claimed as copyright infringement is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law";
- A statement that "the information in the notification is accurate, and under penalty of perjury, the complaining party is authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed";
- The notice must be signed by the person authorized to act on behalf of the owner of an exclusive right that is allegedly infringed.
Muddy Man Storage trademarks, service marks, graphics and logos used in connection with this website are trademarks or registered trademarks of Muddy Man Storage or Muddy Man Storage's licensors. Other trademarks, service marks, graphics and logos used in connection with the website may be the trademarks of other third parties. Your use of the website grants you no right or license to reproduce or otherwise use any Muddy Man Storage trademarks or third-party trademarks.
You agree to defend, indemnify and hold harmless Muddy Man Storage, its contractors, and its licensors, and their respective directors, officers, employees and agents from and against any and all claims and expenses, including legal fees, arising out of your use of the website and services, including but not limited to out of your violation of any representation or warranty contained in these Terms and Conditions.
Notices with respect to this website should be sent to:
Muddy Man Storage, 3807 State Hwy 176, Rockaway Beach, MO 65740
We will review and address all notices that comply with the requirements above.
We suggest that you consult your legal advisor before filing a notice or counter-notice. Also, be aware that you may be liable for damages if you make a false claim of copyright infringement.


text: The Mythology of the Aryan Nations - Volume 2 is an unchanged, high-quality reprint of the original edition of 1870.Hansebooks is editor of the literature on different topic areas such as research and science, travel and expeditions, cooking and nutrition, medicine, and other genres. As a publisher we focus on the preservation of historical literature. Many works of historical writers and scientists are available today as antiques only. Hansebooks newly publishes these books and contributes to the preservation of literature which has become rare and historical knowledge for the future.


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Skip Hop
In 2003, inspired by their needs as new parents, Ellen and Michael Diamant founded Skip Hop and introduced the Duo, the world's first stroller bag. Skip Hop now offers a wide range of products including their distictive backpacks and lunch boxes. We love the bold modern design of Skip Hop gear and toys!


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Gastric restrictive surgery is a type of bariatric surgery or weight loss surgery. It limits the amount of food you can eat. This surgery may be used to treat severe obesity when diet, exercise, and medicine have failed.
The normal digestive process stays intact in gastric restrictive procedures. None of the gastrointestinal tract is bypassed. There are two types of operations:
One separates the stomach into two parts. One is a very small pouch that can hold only about 1 ounce.
The second type removes about 80% of the stomach. The remaining stomach is much smaller.
These procedures are called "restrictive" because the size of the stomach is reduced so much.
You can only eat about three-quarters to a cup of well-chewed food after having a restrictive procedure. Eating more than the stomach pouch can hold may cause nausea and vomiting.
Restrictive procedures have fewer risks than gastric bypass procedures. But they may be less successful. That's because continuous overeating can stretch the pouch so that it holds more food.
The types of gastric restrictive procedures are:
Laparoscopic adjustable gastric banding (LAGB). In this method, your healthcare provider attaches an inflatable band around the top part of your stomach. The band is tightened like a belt. This separates the stomach into a small pouch. This pouch serves as a new, much smaller stomach. The rest of the stomach is below the band. The band creates a narrow channel between these two parts of the stomach. This slows the movement of the food from the upper small pouch to the lower stomach. The band can be adjusted as needed by your healthcare provider after the procedure. This is done by adding or removing saline (salt water) to an attached port. This is underneath the skin. No staples are used. This is because no part of the stomach is usually removed. Like other restrictive procedures, LAGB may not help you reach significant weight loss.
Vertical sleeve gastrectomy. This newer procedure uses staples to remove about 80% of the stomach. The remaining stomach is shaped like a "sleeve." It will hold about one-quarter cup of liquid. Over time, the stomach can expand to hold 1 cup of food. You can potentially lose 1/3 to 1/2 of your excess body weight at one year after surgery. This procedure is not reversible since the rest of the stomach has been removed.
LAGB is most often done using a laparoscope rather than through an open cut (incision). This method uses a few small incisions for the laparoscopic tools to reach the inside of the stomach. The surgeon does the surgery while looking at a TV monitor. Laparoscopic gastric surgery usually reduces how long you'll need to stay in the hospital. It also reduces the amount of scarring, lowers the amount of pain after surgery, and often results in quicker recovery than an "open" or standard method.
Bariatric surgery is currently the best choice for lasting weight loss in people who are severely obese when nonsurgical methods of weight loss have not worked.
Potential candidates for bariatric surgery include:
People with a body mass index (BMI) greater than 40
People who have a BMI of 35 or more who have another serious weight-related condition, such as type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, heart disease, high blood pressure, or osteoarthritis
Because the surgery can have serious side effects, the long-term health benefits must be greater than the risks.
People with a BMI of 60 or more or those who have already had some type of stomach surgery may not be able to have laparoscopic surgery.
Although not all risks are fully known, bariatric surgery does help many people reduce or get rid of some obesity-related health problems. It may help to:
Lower blood sugar
Lower blood pressure
Reduce or eliminate sleep apnea
Decrease the workload of the heart
Lower cholesterol levels
Reduce the chances of osteoarthritis of lower back, hips, and knees getting worse
Surgery for weight loss is not for everybody. But these procedures can be highly effective in people who are motivated to follow their healthcare provider's guidelines for nutrition and exercise after surgery.
There may be other reasons for your healthcare provider to advise a restrictive gastric procedure.
As with any surgery, complications may happen. They may include:
Blood clots
Bleeding ulcer
Obstruction or nausea when food is not well-chewed
Poor eating habits
Nutritional deficiencies
Scarring and adhesions in the belly (abdomen). These can lead to bowel blockage.
Vomiting because of eating more than the stomach pouch can hold, not chewing food well enough, or eating food too fast
Heart attack or heart rhythm problems (arrhythmias)
In LAGB, the band can erode into the stomach or slip. This can block the flow of food through the band. Rarely, stomach juices may leak into the stomach and emergency surgery may be needed. A common long-term complication with LAGB is that the stomach pouch enlarges.
Laparoscopic banding procedure has fewer risks because there is no incision made into the stomach wall.
There may be other risks based on your specific health condition. Be sure to discuss any concerns with your healthcare provider before the procedure.
Your healthcare provider will explain the procedure to you and ask if you have any questions.
You will be asked to sign a consent form that shows that you understand the operation and its risks. It also gives your healthcare provider permission to do the procedure. Read the form carefully and ask questions if something is not clear.
You'll have a physical exam to make sure you are in good health before having the procedure. You may have blood or other tests, such as an electrocardiogram for the heart and chest X-rays for the lungs. You may also meet with a dietitian and often a mental health counselor.
You will be asked to fast for 8 hours before the procedure, generally after midnight.
If you are pregnant or think you might be, tell your healthcare provider.
Tell your healthcare provider if you are sensitive to or are allergic to any medicines, latex, iodine, tape, or anesthesia.
Tell your healthcare provider of all medicines (prescription and over-the-counter) and herbal supplements you take.
Tell your healthcare provider if you have a history of bleeding problems. Also tell them if you are taking any anticoagulant (blood-thinning) medicines. These include warfarin, aspirin, ibuprofen, naprosyn, or other medicines that affect blood clotting. You may need to stop these medicines before the procedure.
You may be asked to start exercising and change your diet a few weeks before surgery.
If you are a woman of childbearing age, you may get birth control counseling so that you don't become pregnant in your first year after surgery. Rapid weight loss can harm the fetus.
You may be given a sedative before the procedure to help you relax.
Based on your medical condition, your healthcare provider may request other specific preparation.
Restrictive gastric surgery sometimes needs a stay in the hospital. Procedures may vary based on the type of procedure done and your healthcare provider.
These operations need you to be asleep under general anesthesia. Your healthcare provider will discuss this with you before surgery.
Generally, the following process happens:
You will be asked to remove clothing and will be given a gown to wear.
An IV (intravenous) line will be started in your arm or hand.
You will be positioned lying on your back on the operating table.
If there is excessive hair at the surgical site, it may be shaved off.
A urinary catheter will be inserted.
The anesthesiologist will keep track of your heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and blood oxygen level during the surgery.
The skin over the surgical site will be cleaned.
For a laparoscopic procedure, a series of small incisions (usually ½ to 1 inch long) will be made. For an open procedure, the surgeon will make a single larger incision in the stomach area. Carbon dioxide gas is pumped into the belly (abdomen). This inflates the abdominal cavity so that the stomach and intestines can easily be seen.
For a laparoscopic adjustable gastric band procedure, a band is placed around the top end of the stomach encircling it to create the small pouch. A narrow passage through the band will connect to the rest of the stomach. The band will be inflated with a salt solution.
For a vertical sleeve gastrectomy procedure, about 80% of the stomach will be removed, and a small sleeve of the stomach will be created with a line of staples.
A drain may be placed in the incision site to remove excess fluid.
The incision(s) will be closed with stitches or surgical staples.
A clean bandage or dressing will be applied.
You will be taken to the postanesthesia care unit after the procedure to be closely watched as you wake up from anesthesia. You will be taken to your hospital room once your blood pressure, pulse, and breathing are stable and you are alert.
You may get pain medicine as needed. This will be either from a nurse or by giving it yourself through a preprogrammed pump device connected to your IV line.
You will be encouraged to move around while you are in bed, and then to get out of bed and walk around as your strength improves. The first time you get up, ask the nurse to help you, so you don't fall or faint. It's important for you to move around soon after your surgery to prevent blood clots.
At first, you will get fluids through an IV. That evening or the next day, you will be given liquids, such as broth or clear juice to drink. As you are able to take liquids, you may be given thicker liquids, such as pudding, milk, or cream soup. This is followed by foods that you do not have to chew, such as hot cereal or pureed foods. Some surgeons recommend a liquid diet for 1 to 2 weeks. Your healthcare provider will instruct you about how long to stay on a liquid diet and when it's time to progress to eat pureed foods after surgery. By 4 to 6 weeks after your procedure, you may be eating solid foods.
Pay attention to the size of the portions. Follow your surgeon's or dietitian's advice on what to eat, how much to eat, and how often. This will help you to lose extra weight.
You will be instructed about taking nutritional supplements to replace the nutrients lost due to the reconstruction of the digestive tract. You will also be encouraged to maximize protein intake, often with protein drinks.
Before you are discharged from the hospital, follow-up visits are arranged.
Report any of these symptoms to your healthcare provider immediately:
Fever or chills
Redness, swelling, or bleeding or other drainage from the incision site
Increased pain around the incision site
Chest pain or trouble breathing
After surgery, your healthcare provider may give you other instructions, depending on your situation.
Once you are home, it will be important to keep the surgical area clean and dry. Your healthcare provider will give you bathing instructions. The stitches or surgical staples will be removed during a follow-up visit in a week or so.
The incision and stomach muscles may ache, especially with deep breathing, coughing, and exertion. Take a pain reliever for soreness as advised by your healthcare provider. Aspirin or certain other pain medicines called nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs may increase the chance of bleeding and for ulcers to form in the stomach. Take only recommended medicines.
Keep up the breathing exercises used in the hospital to prevent lung infections.
Gradually increase your physical activity as you are able. It may take several weeks or months to return to your previous levels of stamina.
You may be told to stay away from lifting heavy items for a few weeks to months, depending on whether the operation was done laparoscopically or with an open method. This will help prevent strain on your stomach muscles and surgical incision.
Weight loss surgery can be emotionally difficult because you will be adjusting to new dietary habits and a body in the process of change. If your feelings are serious enough to interfere with daily functions, consider getting short-term counseling. Your surgical team can suggest resources.
You may feel especially tired during the first 4 to 6 weeks after surgery. Following the prescribed postsurgery exercise program and going to a support group may be helpful at this time.
Before you agree to the test or procedure make sure you know:
The name of the test or procedure
The reason you are having the test or procedure
What results to expect and what they mean
The risks and benefits of the test or procedure
What the possible side effects or complications are
When and where you are to have the test or procedure
Who will do the test or procedure and what that person's qualifications are
What would happen if you did not have the test or procedure
Any alternative tests or procedures to think about
When and how you will get the results
Who to call after the test or procedure if you have questions or problems
How much you will have to pay for the test or procedure


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Plumbing Repairs 90058, Los Angeles, CA
Plumbing Repairs In 90058 and Surrounding Los Angeles County Areas
Plumbing is among those things that you do not give much consideration to, until it fails. If you suspect something is wrong with your residential plumbing system, call the specialist plumbing professionals at GJ3 Plumbing to assist you fix it quickly and efficiently. We understand the importance of a smooth-running plumbing system, which is why we offer quickly, reliable, and budget-friendly Plumbing Repairs in 90058, CA, and surrounding locations. Our plumbing technicians take pride in their work and treat you like our own. Customer fulfillment is our top main concern and we guarantee your 100% satisfaction.
Our team Are Your Premier Plumbing Repairs
At GJ3 Plumbing we provide a comprehensive variety of residential plumbing services, including Plumbing Repairs, drain cleaning, water heater repair, trenchless technology, sewer camera inspection, and more. Our knowledgeable plumbing contractors are highly skilled and prepared with the latest tools required to achieve ideal results. We pride ourselves on having the ability to respond to repair calls very quickly, reducing the damage caused to your residential or commercial property. We back up our work and go the extra mile to do the job quickly and efficiently.
Residential Plumbing 90058
Plumbing is one of those things that you do not give much thought to, until it fails. If you suspect something is wrong with your residential plumbing system, call the expert plumbers at GJ3 Plumbing to help you fix it quickly and efficiently. We understand the importance of a smooth-running plumbing system, which is why we offer fast, reliable, and affordable residential plumbing services in 90058, CA, and surrounding areas. Our plumbers take pride in their work and treat you like our own. Customer satisfaction is our number one priority and we guarantee your 100% satisfaction.
We Are Your Premier Residential Plumbing Service 90058
At GJ3 Plumbing we provide a comprehensive range of residential plumbing services, including drain cleaning, water heater repair, trenchless technology, sewer camera inspection, and more. Our skilled plumbers are highly experienced and equipped with the latest tools needed to achieve optimal results. We pride ourselves on being able to respond to repair calls quickly, minimizing the damage caused to your property. We stand behind our work and go the extra mile to get the job done quickly and efficiently.
Drain Cleaning 90058
Honest, Affordable and Reliable Drain Cleaning Specialists in 90058, CA and Nearby Areas
Most homeowners do not think of their drainage pipes until they fail. Drain line problems, such as clogged drains, intrusion of tree roots or foul-smelling gases can be very frustrating and inconveniencing. If you are experiencing any of these issues, contact the drain cleaning specialists at GJ3 Plumbing immediately.When you call us, we will arrive on time ready to work. We treat your property with the utmost respect, and we will leave it clean after we finish the job. With our years of plumbing industry experience, you can be sure that the job will be done right the first time. We guarantee your 100% satisfaction.We respond quickly to any drain cleaning problems. We are committed to ensuring that you get a smooth-running plumbing system all the time. Our customers come first, which is why we consider ourselves the plumbers you would send to your mom's house. Our upfront flat rate pricing allows you to know what to expect from us. We do not have any hidden charges nor will you ever find a surprise bill on your invoice.
Water Heater
Professional Water Heater Service & Replacement in 90058, CA and Beyond
When it comes to showering, washing your dishes, and doing your laundry, your water heater is indispensable. When something goes wrong, you need a trustworthy plumber you can depend on to service it quickly.At GJ3 Plumbing our team can provide you with prompt water heater repair services to help you get your hot water back in no time. We offer convenient same-day appointments to ensure you have access to the services you need when you need them the most!At GJ3 Plumbing, we pride ourselves in providing fast and affordable Water Heater Repair and Replacement in 90058, CA and surrounding Areas. We would appreciate an opportunity to serve you too. Give us a call at (562) 367-2771 to schedule an appointment with our courteous and friendly plumbers.
Tankless Water Heater
Tankless Water Heater Services in 90058, CA and Nearby Areas
Top-Quality Tankless Water Heater Repairs, Installations & Replacements
A tankless water heater is an excellent alternative to traditional tank-based units, because it can instantly heat water as it is needed, rather than constantly heat and store hot water for later use. Tankless water heaters are more energy efficient and environmentally friendly than their tank-based counterparts and can save homeowners a considerable amount of money on their monthly energy costs.At GJ3 Plumbing, our highly trained 90058, CA plumbers can install, repair, and replace nearly all types of tankless water heaters available on the market today. Contact our team of experts today to discover if making the switch to a tankless unit is right for you.
We Are Your Trusted Tankless Water Heater Specialists
Tankless water heaters require specialized training to install and repair. The plumbers at GJ3 Plumbing are experts when it comes to the setup and maintenance of these appliances. When you purchase a tankless water heater from our 90058 plumbing company, we do more than just set it up. We will make sure it's running at peak efficiency through routine inspections and descaling. Should your tankless heater stop working, we have the knowledge and expertise to get it running again. Give us a call at (562) 367-2771 to schedule an appointment.
Toilets, sinks, faucets, and more
90058, CA Toilets & Fixtures Specialists
Call Us for Any Upgrade, Remodel, or New Installation
The toilets in your home are not only a necessity but can create health and utility hazards if not kept in proper running condition. More than that, an outdated toilet can hold your home back from being the beautiful space you've always wanted. The toilet and fixture designers at GJ3 Plumbing can assist you in the selection of a high-quality toilet in 90058, CA and nearby areas.
Your Reliable and Affordable Plumbing Fixture Professionals
Our service does not end with toilet fixtures. We do full installation and repair for other plumbing fixtures as well. Leaking sinks, dripping faucets, and clogged garbage disposals are all well within our field of experience. As an energy-conscious plumbing company, we are proud to help when you want to install more water-efficient fixtures. If you want to upgrade to low-flow toilets, faucets, and shower heads, we can help you find the right one to suit your needs and install it within the same day in most cases. Give us a call at (562) 367-2771 to schedule an appointment today.
Sewer Line Repair & Replacement
Sewer Line Repair & Replacement for Your 90058, CA Home
Complications with the sewer line at your home can be one of the most stressful and frustrating plumbing problems that you can encounter. These sorts of problems can put your entire home on hold, so you need to connect with a plumber near you that is experienced, skilled, and committed to providing you with superior and affordable solutions. If you've come to GJ3 Plumbing looking for all of the above, you came to the right place.Each plumber on the GJ3 Plumbing team is dedicated to plumbing mastery and leading customer service. We strive to be the name you can trust for honesty, integrity, and dependable plumbing solutions that return your home to normalcy in a timely and precise manner.Do you need sewer line repair or line replacement in 90058, CA, or the surrounding communities? Call today to schedule a sewer line inspection!
Gas Line Repair
90058 Gas Line Repair
Qualified Plumbers in 90058, CA & the Surrounding Areas
Homes in the area rely on gas lines to power appliances such as stoves, water heaters, and more to enable you to live comfortably all year long. As important as gas lines are, they can also be extremely hazardous to handle. With regular use, gas lines can become corroded or even break, putting your home or business in danger.At GJ3 Plumbing, our experienced team of professionals has the necessary skill, training, and certification to provide complete gas line repair and replacement in 90058, CA and the surrounding areas.Gas leaks pose an immediate danger to the safety of both you and your property. Never attempt to perform an installation or repair of a gas line on your own. Always call a qualified professional to handle the job. If you are in 90058, CA or the neighboring suburbs, our specialists are ready to help. Give us a call at (562) 367-2771 to schedule an appointment today.
Bathroom Remodel
Bathroom Remodeling in 90058, CA and Surrounding Areas
Bathroom remodeling is one of the best home improvements you can make. Not only does it create a more enjoyable space for you and your family, but it's also a great way to add value to your home. Your plumber may not be the first person you think to call when you decide to redo your bathroom.GJ3 Plumbing wants to change that! We offer complete bathroom remodeling services, from design to installation of all fixtures and appliances. Our experts have years of combined experience in designing, installing, and repairing bathrooms of all types. No bathroom remodel is either too big or too small for us – you can trust us to make your dream bathroom come to life.If you have any questions as to what could work best for your bathroom, our team of remodeling professionals in 90058, CA is here to help. Contact us to learn more about how we can make your home a better and more comfortable place for you and your family today.
Kitchen Remodel
Professional Kitchen Remodeling Services in 90058, CA and Surrounding Areas
We Will Turn Your Ideas into a Reality
The kitchen is the heart of the home, which is why you want this central space to not only be inviting, but customized to meet the specific needs of your lifestyle. With our years of experience, GJ3 plumbing is your premier kitchen remodeling contractor proudly serving 90058, CA and nearby areas. Our exceptional customer services, incredible craftsmanship and customized designs, make us the top choice for all kitchen renovation needs in 90058, CA and beyond.Our technicians are well licensed and insured for your safety and peace of mind. As a local, family-owned business, our goal is to serve and earn the trust of our communities and customers. We go above and beyond to exceed our customers' expectations with every job we do. We also offer a customer satisfaction guarantee with each service we provide, so you know that you will be happy with the results of our work.