text:
Chapter 27
The Lord commands Ammon to lead the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi to safety—Upon meeting Alma, Ammon's joy exhausts his strength—The Nephites give the Anti-Nephi-Lehies the land of Jershon—They are called the people of Ammon. About 90–77 B.C.
1 Now it came to pass that when those Lamanites who had gone to war against the Nephites had found, after their many struggles to destroy them, that it was in vain to seek their destruction, they returned again to the land of Nephi.
2 And it came to pass that the Amalekites, because of their loss, were exceedingly angry. And when they saw that they could not seek revenge from the Nephites, they began to stir up the people in anger against their brethren, the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi; therefore they began again to destroy them.
3 Now this people again refused to take their arms, and they suffered themselves to be slain according to the desires of their enemies.
4 Now when Ammon and his brethren saw this work of destruction among those whom they so dearly beloved, and among those who had so dearly beloved them—for they were treated as though they were angels sent from God to save them from everlasting destruction—therefore, when Ammon and his brethren saw this great work of destruction, they were moved with compassion, and they said unto the king:
5 Let us gather together this people of the Lord, and let us go down to the land of Zarahemla to our brethren the Nephites, and flee out of the hands of our enemies, that we be not destroyed.
6 But the king said unto them: Behold, the Nephites will destroy us, because of the many murders and sins we have committed against them.
7 And Ammon said: I will go and inquire of the Lord, and if he say unto us, go down unto our brethren, will ye go?
8 And the king said unto him: Yea, if the Lord saith unto us go, we will go down unto our brethren, and we will be their slaves until we repair unto them the many murders and sins which we have committed against them.
9 But Ammon said unto him: It is against the law of our brethren, which was established by my father, that there should be any slaves among them; therefore let us go down and rely upon the mercies of our brethren.
10 But the king said unto him: Inquire of the Lord, and if he saith unto us go, we will go; otherwise we will perish in the land.
11 And it came to pass that Ammon went and inquired of the Lord, and the Lord said unto him:
12 Get this people out of this land, that they perish not; for Satan has great hold on the hearts of the Amalekites, who do stir up the Lamanites to anger against their brethren to slay them; therefore get thee out of this land; and blessed are this people in this generation, for I will preserve them.
13 And now it came to pass that Ammon went and told the king all the words which the Lord had said unto him.
14 And they gathered together all their people, yea, all the people of the Lord, and did gather together all their flocks and herds, and departed out of the land, and came into the wilderness which divided the land of Nephi from the land of Zarahemla, and came over near the borders of the land.
15 And it came to pass that Ammon said unto them: Behold, I and my brethren will go forth into the land of Zarahemla, and ye shall remain here until we return; and we will try the hearts of our brethren, whether they will that ye shall come into their land.
16 And it came to pass that as Ammon was going forth into the land, that he and his brethren met Alma, over in the place of which has been spoken; and behold, this was a joyful meeting.
17 Now the joy of Ammon was so great even that he was full; yea, he was swallowed up in the joy of his God, even to the exhausting of his strength; and he fell again to the earth.
18 Now was not this exceeding joy? Behold, this is joy which none receiveth save it be the truly penitent and humble seeker of happiness.
19 Now the joy of Alma in meeting his brethren was truly great, and also the joy of Aaron, of Omner, and Himni; but behold their joy was not that to exceed their strength.
20 And now it came to pass that Alma conducted his brethren back to the land of Zarahemla; even to his own house. And they went and told the chief judge all the things that had happened unto them in the land of Nephi, among their brethren, the Lamanites.
21 And it came to pass that the chief judge sent a proclamation throughout all the land, desiring the voice of the people concerning the admitting their brethren, who were the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi.
22 And it came to pass that the voice of the people came, saying: Behold, we will give up the land of Jershon, which is on the east by the sea, which joins the land Bountiful, which is on the south of the land Bountiful; and this land Jershon is the land which we will give unto our brethren for an inheritance.
23 And behold, we will set our armies between the land Jershon and the land Nephi, that we may protect our brethren in the land Jershon; and this we do for our brethren, on account of their fear to take up arms against their brethren lest they should commit sin; and this their great fear came because of their sore repentance which they had, on account of their many murders and their awful wickedness.
24 And now behold, this will we do unto our brethren, that they may inherit the land Jershon; and we will guard them from their enemies with our armies, on condition that they will give us a portion of their substance to assist us that we may maintain our armies.
25 Now, it came to pass that when Ammon had heard this, he returned to the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi, and also Alma with him, into the wilderness, where they had pitched their tents, and made known unto them all these things. And Alma also related unto them his conversion, with Ammon and Aaron, and his brethren.
26 And it came to pass that it did cause great joy among them. And they went down into the land of Jershon, and took possession of the land of Jershon; and they were called by the Nephites the people of Ammon; therefore they were distinguished by that name ever after.
27 And they were among the people of Nephi, and also numbered among the people who were of the church of God. And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end.
28 And they did look upon shedding the blood of their brethren with the greatest abhorrence; and they never could be prevailed upon to take up arms against their brethren; and they never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it.
29 Therefore, they would suffer death in the most aggravating and distressing manner which could be inflicted by their brethren, before they would take the sword or cimeter to smite them.
30 And thus they were a zealous and beloved people, a highly favored people of the Lord.


text:
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
2010: 55.22332 (+ more) Updated: Sep 17, 2012 10:36 AM CDT2010: | 55.22332 | |
2009: | 56.64253 | |
2008: | 60.46416 | |
2007: | 57.43475 | |
2006: | 55.37143 | |
View All |
PPP of Consumption over Exchange Rate,Frequency:
AnnualData in this graph are copyrighted. Please review the copyright information in the series notes before sharing.
Source: University of Pennsylvania
Release: Penn World Table 7.1
Units: PPP of Consumption over Exchange Rate, Not Seasonally Adjusted
Frequency: Annual
Price Level of GDP is the PPP over GDP divided by the exchange rate times 100. The PPP of GDP or any component is the national currency value divided by the real value in international dollars. The PPP and the exchange rate are both expressed as national currency units per US dollar.The value of price level of GDP for the United States is made equal to 100. Price Levels of the components Consumption, Investment, and Government are derived in the same way as the price level of GDP. While the U.S. = 100 over GDP, this is not true for the component shares. The purchasing power parity in domestic currency per $US for GDP or any component, may be obtained by dividing the price level by 100 and multiplying by the Exchange Rate.
For more information and proper citation see http://www.rug.nl/research/ggdc/data/pwt/pwt-7.1
Source Indicator: pc
University of Pennsylvania, Price Level of Consumption for Tunisia [PLOCONTNA622NUPN], retrieved from FRED, Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis; https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/PLOCONTNA622NUPN, .


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text:
A Rudimentary DNS Client
Performs DNS name resolving towards recursive name servers
See also
ERTS User's Guide: Inet configuration
for more
information on how to configure an Erlang runtime system for IP
communication and how to enable this DNS client by defining
as a lookup method. It then acts
as a backend for the resolving functions in
This DNS client can resolve DNS records even if it is not used for normal name resolving in the node.
This is not a full-fledged resolver. It is just a DNS client that relies on asking trusted recursive nameservers.
Name Resolving
UDP queries are used unless resolver option
is true
, which forces TCP queries.
If the query is to large for UDP, TCP is used instead.
For regular DNS queries 512 bytes is the size limit.
When EDNS is enabled (resolver option
is set to the EDNS version i.e 0
instead of false
), resolver option
sets the limit. If a nameserver
replies with the TC bit set (truncation), indicating
the answer is incomplete, the query is retried
to that nameserver using TCP. The resolver option
also sets the advertised
size for the max allowed reply size, if EDNS is
enabled, otherwise the nameserver uses the limit
512 byte. If the reply is larger it gets truncated,
forcing a TCP re-query.
For UDP queries, the resolver options timeout
and retry
control retransmission.
Each nameserver in the nameservers
list is
tried with a timeout of timeout
/ retry
Then all nameservers are tried again doubling the
timeout, for a total of retry
For queries that not use the search
if the query to all nameservers
results in
or an empty answer, the same
query is tried for the alt_nameservers
As defined in the module inet:
hostent() = #hostent{} posix() = some atom()s ip_address() = tuple of integers of arity 4 or 8
Resolver types:
These correspond to resolver options: res_option() = [ {alt_nameservers, [ nameserver() ]} | {edns, 0 | false} % Use EDNS | {inet6, bool()} % Return IPv6 addresses | {nameservers, [ nameserver() ]} % List of nameservers | {recurse, bool()} % Request server recursion | {retry, integer()} % UDP retries | {timeout, integer()} % UDP query timeout | {udp_payload_size, integer()} % EDNS payload size | {usevc, bool()} ] % Use TCP (Virtual Circuit) nameserver() = {ip_address(),Port} Port = integer(1..65535) res_error() = formerr | qfmterror | servfail | nxdomain | notimp | refused | badvers | timeout
DNS types:
dns_name() = string() with no adjacent dots rr_type() = a | aaaa | cname | gid | hinfo | ns | mb | md | mg | mf | minfo | mx | naptr | null | ptr | soa | spf | srv | txt | uid | uinfo | unspec | wks query_type() = axfr | mailb | maila | any | rr_type() dns_class() = in | chaos | hs | any dns_msg() = DnsMsg This is the start of a hiearchy of opaque data structures that can be examined with access functions in inet_dns that return lists of {Field,Value} tuples. The arity 2 functions just return the value for a given field. inet_dns:msg(DnsMsg) -> [ {header, dns_header()} | {qdlist, dns_query()} | {anlist, dns_rr()} | {nslist, dns_rr()} | {arlist, dns_rr()} ] inet_dns:msg(DnsMsg, header) -> dns_header() % for example inet_dns:msg(DnsMsg, Field) -> Value dhs_header() = DnsHeader inet_dns:header(DnsHeader) -> [ {id, integer()} | {qr, bool()} | {opcode, 'query' | iquery | status | integer()} | {aa, bool()} | {tc, bool()} | {rd, bool()} | {ra, bool()} | {pr, bool()} | {rcode, integer(0..16)} ] inet_dns:header(DnsHeader, Field) -> Value dns_query() = DnsQuery inet_dns:dns_query(DnsQuery) -> [ {domain, dns_name()} | {type, query_type()} | {class, dns_class()} ] inet_dns:dns_query(DnsQuery, Field) -> Value dns_rr() = DnsRr inet_dns:rr(DnsRr) -> DnsRrFields | DnsRrOptFields DnsRrFields = [ {domain, dns_name()} | {type, rr_type()} | {class, dns_class()} | {ttl, integer()} | {data, dns_data()} ] DnsRrOptFields = [ {domain, dns_name()} | {type, opt} | {udp_payload_size, integer()} | {ext_rcode, integer()} | {version, integer()} | {z, integer()} | {data, dns_data()} ] inet_dns:rr(DnsRr, Field) -> Value dns_data() = % for dns_type() [ dns_name() % ns, md, mf, cname, mb, mg, mr, ptr | ip_address(v4) % a | ip_address(v6) % aaaa | {MName,RName,Serial,Refresh,Retry,Expiry,Minimum} % soa | {ip_address(v4),Proto,BitMap} % wks | {CpuString,OsString} % hinfo | {RM,EM} % minfo | {Prio,dns_name()} % mx | {Prio,Weight,Port,dns_name()} % srv | {Order,Preference,Flags,Services,Regexp,dns_name()} % naptr | [ string() ] % txt, spf | binary() ] % null, integer() MName, RName = dns_name() Serial, Refresh, Retry, Expiry, Minimum = integer(), Proto = integer() BitMap = binary() CpuString, OsString = string() RM = EM = dns_name() Prio, Weight, Port = integer() Order, Preference = integer() Flags, Services = string(), Regexp = string(utf8) There is an info function for the types above: inet_dns:record_type(dns_msg()) -> msg; inet_dns:record_type(dns_header()) -> header; inet_dns:record_type(dns_query()) -> dns_query; inet_dns:record_type(dns_rr()) -> rr; inet_dns:record_type(_) -> undefined. So; inet_dns:(inet_dns:record_type(X))(X) will convert any of these data structures into a {Field,Value} list.
getbyname(Name, Type) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}
getbyname(Name, Type, Timeout) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}
Name = dns_name()
Type = rr_type()
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Resolve a DNS record of the given type for the given host,
of class in
. On success returns a hostent()
record with
elements in the address list field.
This function uses the resolver option search
is a list of domain names. If the name to resolve contains
no dots, it is prepended to each domain name in the
search list, and they are tried in order. If the name
contains dots, it is first tried as an absolute name
and if that fails the search list is used. If the name
has a trailing dot it is simply supposed to be
an absolute name and the search list is not used.
gethostbyaddr(Address) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}
gethostbyaddr(Address, Timeout) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}
Address = ip_address()
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Backend functions used by inet:gethostbyaddr/1 .
gethostbyname(Name) -> {ok,hostent()} | Reason}
gethostbyname(Name, Family) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}}
gethostbyname(Name, Family, Timeout) -> {ok,hostent()} | {error,Reason}
Name = dns_name()
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Backend functions used by inet:gethostbyname/1,2 .
This function uses the resolver option search
just like
If the resolver option inet6
is true
an IPv6 address is looked up, and if that fails
the IPv4 address is looked up and returned on
IPv6 mapped IPv4 format.
lookup(Name, Class, Type) -> [ dns_data() ]
lookup(Name, Class, Type, Opts) -> [ dns_data() ]
lookup(Name, Class, Type, Opts, Timeout) -> [ dns_data() ]
Name = dns_name() | ip_address()
Type = rr_type()
Opts = res_option() | verbose
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Resolve the DNS data for the record of the given type and class
for the given name. On success filters out the answer records
with the correct Class
and Type
and returns
a list of their data fields. So a lookup for type any
will give an empty answer since the answer records have
specific types that are not any
. An empty answer
as well as a failed lookup returns an empty list.
Calls resolve/2..4
with the same arguments and filters the result, so
is explained there.
resolve(Name, Class, Type) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | Error
resolve(Name, Class, Type, Opts) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | Error
resolve(Name, Class, Type, Opts, Timeout) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | Error
Name = dns_name() | ip_address()
Type = rr_type()
Opts = res_option() | verbose | atom()
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Error = {error,Reason} | {error,{Reason,dns_msg()}}
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Resolve a DNS record of the given type and class for the given name.
The returned dns_msg()
can be examined using
access functions in inet_db
as described
in DNS types.
If Name
is an ip_address()
, the domain name
to query for is generated as the standard reverse
".IN-ADDR.ARPA." name for an IPv4 address, or the
".IP6.ARPA." name for an IPv6 address.
In this case you most probably want to use
Class = in
and Type = ptr
but it
is not done automatically.
override the corresponding resolver options.
If the option nameservers
is given, it is
also assumed that it is the complete list of nameserves,
so the resolver option alt_nameserves
is ignored.
Of course, if that option is also given to this function,
it is used.
The verbose
option (or rather {verbose,true}
causes diagnostics printout through
of queries, replies retransmissions, etc, similar
to from utilities like dig
, nslookup
If Opt
is an arbitrary atom it is interpreted
as {Opt,true}
unless the atom string starts with
making the interpretation {Opt,false}
For example: usevc
is an alias for {usevc,true}
and nousevc
an alias for {usevc,false}
The inet6
option currently has no effect on this function.
You probably want to use Type = a | aaaa
Access functions example: how lookup/3 could have been implemented using resolve/3 from outside the module.
example_lookup(Name, Class, Type) -> case inet_res:resolve(Name, Class, Type) of {ok,Msg} -> [inet_dns:rr(RR, data) || RR <- inet_dns:msg(Msg, anlist), inet_dns:rr(RR, type) =:= Type, inet_dns:rr(RR, class) =:= Class]; {error,_} -> [] end.
Legacy Functions
These have been deprecated due to the annoying double meaning of the nameservers/timeout argument, and because they had no decent place for a resolver options list.
nslookup(Name, Class, Type) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | {error,Reason}
nslookup(Name, Class, Type, Timeout) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | {error,Reason}
nslookup(Name, Class, Type, Nameservers) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | {error,Reason}
Name = dns_name() | ip_address()
Type = rr_type()
Nameservers = [ nameserver() ]
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Resolve a DNS record of the given type and class for the given name.
nnslookup(Name, Class, Type, Nameservers) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | {error,posix()}
nnslookup(Name, Class, Type, Nameservers, Timeout) -> {ok,dns_msg()} | {error,posix()}
Name = dns_name() | ip_address()
Type = rr_type()
Nameservers = [ nameserver() ]
Timeout = integer() >= 0 | infinity
Reason = posix() | res_error()
Resolve a DNS record of the given type and class for the given name.


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If President Obama takes the lead in a movement for more effective gun control now that he's been stirred to action by the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, it would mark a significant break from his pattern so far as chief executive.
For while Obama has dutifully served as the nation's consoler in chief in localities where the all-too-frequent mass shootings have occurred, that has seemed the extent of the official response observable to White House outsiders.
But with the funerals of murdered Connecticut children and educators far from over, the president on Tuesday went further than at any point in his presidency to take up the gun control cause.
White House press secretary Jay Carney told journalists that Obama will "actively support" legislation that Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., intends to introduce next year to reinstate the assault weapons ban, which ended in 2004.
Obama also will back legislation to close the so-called gun show loophole — which allows owners to sell weapons to strangers without any background check being done — and a ban on high-capacity ammunition clips, Carney said.
This represents not just a break from how Obama has dealt with the gun issue until now, but also a return to his political roots as a onetime unabashed supporter of gun control.
From his days as an Illinois state senator to his time as a U.S. senator through his first campaign for president, Obama spoke repeatedly for further legislative action to make Americans safer from gun violence.
In his 2008 acceptance speech at the Democratic National Convention, he even questioned the wisdom of consumer-oriented assault weapons, which suggested that as president he would try to restrict those weapons.
But after he became president, and even as the numbers of mass killings by gunmen climbed, the president grew reticent on gun control. Even after the Tucson, Ariz., attacks by Jared Loughner that left six people dead and Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and others seriously wounded in January 2011, Obama didn't utter the words "gun control" in his subsequent State of the Union speech.
"It's pretty clear, at least during his first term, that he made a conscious decision to focus on other issues," said Robert Spitzer, a political scientist at SUNY Cortland who has written extensively on gun control.
Obama certainly had plenty on his crowded and urgent agenda when he took office, Spitzer noted in an interview, with an economy that seemed in free fall, a crippled Wall Street and plans to take on health care.
"He clearly turned his attention to other priorities. The question now is, after just being re-elected by a comfortable margin, he has some momentum, he has a mandate, he does have a political opportunity right now to act on the gun issue, if he chooses to do it," said Spitzer.
Not only did a first-term Obama ignore the items on gun control advocates' wish lists, he also left those same advocates bewildered when he expanded gun rights by signing two bills into law — one that allowed the public to carry guns into national parks; another that let passengers carry guns in their luggage on Amtrak trains.
Obama even boasted that his administration had expanded gun rights in a March 2011 op-ed in the Arizona Daily Star in an effort to prove to his gun rights opponents that he wasn't really a threat to their weapons, as he had been characterized.
All of this helped earn the president an "F" for his first year in office from the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.
Yet it did little to gain him supporters among the gun lobby. Wayne LaPierre, the NRA's executive president, has claimed repeatedly that Obama threatens the Second Amendment.
Gun control advocates aware of Obama's positions over the course of his political career, and who had hoped he would lead on the issue once in the White House, were crestfallen, to say the least.
"I think people had higher hopes for him on this issue based upon some of his statements and positions," said Daniel Webster, professor and director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Policy and Research. "Speaking for myself, I was disappointed. I thought he would try to move the ball forward on this issue."
Webster speculates that Obama fell prey not just to the competing demands of his agenda, but to the anxieties of Democratic policymakers that have existed since the 1990s that gun control is politically hazardous.
"He and presumably his advisers decided that the difficult political situation with gun control would only be a frustration and an impediment to other things he wanted to achieve, including, of course, his own re-election," Webster said. Obama's first-term political adviser, David Axelrod, didn't respond to an NPR interview request.
"The conventional wisdom among many in the [Democratic National Committee] unfortunately in recent years has been that gun control wins you few votes but loses you close elections. And I personally disagree with that, but I think that's been the conventional wisdom," Webster said.
Webster said Democrats misattribute their loss of House control in 1994 and the White House in 2000 to President Clinton signing into law the Brady bill, which required gun dealers to conduct background checks, and the assault weapons ban. He believes other reasons better explain those losses, like Hillary Clinton's 1993 health care proposal.
But now, with the nation's conscience stricken by the Newtown massacre and some gun-rights Democrats shifting their position on the regulation of assault weapons and high-capacity magazines, the conventional wisdom seems to have changed.
Still, the challenges before Obama and other Democrats who seek new legislation in the wake of Newtown loom large. As political handicapper Charlie Cook points out, many members of Congress, particularly Republicans, represent parts of the country where gun rights trump gun control.
For such reasons, Spitzer isn't optimistic.
"I think the most likely outcome is that nothing major will happen at the national level," he said. "However, it's possible something could happen at the national level. It's hard to guess what Obama will do. He's proven himself to be a very cautious political leader, despite what his [conservative] critics had said about him."
Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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Allan, James W., Islamic Ceramics, Ashmolean-Christie's Handbooks (Oxford: Ashmolean Museum, 1991), illus. p. 39
Porter, Venetia, Medieval Syrian Pottery (Raqqa Ware) (Oxford: Asmolean Museum, 1981), illus. p. 17 pl. VIII
fritware, glaze
Ceramic material composed of ground quartz and small quantities of clay and finely ground frit (frit is obtained by pouring molten glass into water).
Vitreous coating applied to the surface of a ceramic to make it impermeable or for decorative effect.
Objects are sometimes moved to a different location. Our object location data is usually updated on a monthly basis. Contact the Jameel Study Centre if you are planning to visit the museum to see a particular object on display, or would like to arrange an appointment to see an object in our reserve collections.
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text: GrantAtkinson-70-200f4-4 By Grant Atkinson|March 30th, 2013|0 Comments Share This Post: FacebookTwitterLinkedInWhatsappEmail About the Author: Grant Atkinson I am a guide and a photographer, with a deep interest in all things to do with nature. I am based in Cape Town, South Africa, but travel often to wild places whilst leading photographic safaris, and enjoying the outdoors. Leave A Comment Cancel replyComment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Δ


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OCEAN CITY — With no casualties and only one minor injury to a firefighter, Wednesday evening's massive blaze that consumed the top floor of a midtown Ocean City condominium building could have been much worse but it has left many picking up the pieces.
Shortly before 6 p.m. on Wednesday, the Ocean City Fire Department (OCFD) received a call about a residential fire at the Bradley on the Bay complex at 37th Street. First arriving units encountered heavy fire and thick black smoke extending from one of the 15-unit buildings in the center of the complex that could be seen as far away as West Ocean City and Berlin.
Because of the enormity of the blaze, firefighters quickly set up defensive tactics in an attempt to confine the fire and keep it from spreading to other buildings within the complex. Six families, including nine adults and three children, occupied the building at the time of the fire, but all were able to escape unharmed. One Ocean City firefighter working close to the blaze suffered minor burns on one ear, but was treated at AGH and cleared to return to work.
The OCFD responded with equipment and manpower and were supported during the battle with crews from Berlin, Showell, Ocean Pines and Bethany. According to Ocean City Fire Department spokesman Steve Price, it became evident early on the responding crews would have to utilize defensive tactics to prevent the blaze from spreading further.
"There was just too much fire and too much smoke," said Price today. "We knew right away we had to take a defensive tact on this one."
Price said equipment and manpower were deployed to connect a vast network of hoses and gear from water sources all over the area for a couple of blocks in each direction. Price said he was stationed on the north side of the building and hoses were stretched all the way across to a water source on the north side of the Convention Center a few blocks away.
Early on, there were concerns voiced at the scene about some of the hydrants in the immediate area and Price confirmed some of those issues today.
"Initially, there was a hydrant not functioning properly, but it was resolved quickly and did not hamper our efforts," he said.
Those efforts included completely saturating the building involved in the fire for nearly five hours until the fire was brought under control. Fire crews remained at the scene overnight and into the early morning to control potential rekindles inside the structure. At around 9:15 a.m. today, the fire scene was officially turned over to the Ocean City Fire Marshal's Office for an investigation.
Price said all five units on the third floor were destroyed and three units on the second floor suffered significant fire damage. All 15 units in the building suffered significant smoke and water damage and the two adjacent building suffered heat damage to vinyl siding.
"The bottom line is, at the end of the day, everybody went home safe and we can be thankful for that," said Price.
The displaced victims were already being assisted late Wednesday by the American Red Cross, which was tending to their immediate needs.
"Some of the employees I worked with this summer at Fager's lived there, but I'm trying to get things started to help all of the victims," said Hanshaw today. "There were two people from Fager's who just got married last weekend and I think they lost everything."
By mid-day, the Bradley on the Bay Relief Fund was already being established at the Bank of Ocean City and the Pay Pal account was up and running with all donations dedicated to the victims' needs.
In addition, the relief effort is also taking donations of clothes and other supplies for the victims with drop-off sites already established at Fager's, Fish Tales and the O.C. Floor Gallery.
In neighboring Delaware, drop-off locations have also been established at Weller's Utility Trailers and Weller's Clearance Center, for example.
By late yesterday, the list of drop-off sites and those wanting to help was growing so fast that not all could be included here.
For a complete list of accounts in which to make monetary donations and locations accepting drop-off donations, visit the Bradley on the Bay Relief Fund Facebook page. More information on how to help the displaced victims will be provided by The Dispatch as it becomes available.


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As an All-American defensive back on the 1989 Division III champion University of Dayton football team, Ohio secretary of state Jon Husted played in some big games. Come Nov. 7, he may be a player in the biggest contest in all of politics, with the U.S. presidency riding on the outcome.
Husted makes the rules for how and when Ohio's votes are cast. In a tight race like the one between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney, those rules can determine who wins the state's 18 Electoral College votes — and the White House. Despite the presence in Ohio of thousands of lawyers for both campaigns, Husted has not shied away from controversy. He fought early voting the weekend before the election all the way to the Supreme Court this year and lost. On Nov. 2, he issued a directive making provisional ballots less likely to be counted by requiring voters to fill out extra paperwork.
As it happened, voter turnout over the weekend was robust, especially in Democratic counties, and in retrospect, Husted's efforts seemed to some on the left to be anti-democratic. That has made Husted a target for those who say he's using the office of secretary of state to give the GOP an advantage. "He is the secretary of suppression," state senator Nina Turner said on MSNBC on Monday. "He tried to suppress every single vote in this state."
(PHOTOS: America Votes: Election 2012)
In an interview with TIME on Monday afternoon, Husted shrugged off the criticism. "My job is to deliver an election that runs smoothly and well," he said. He added that some of the attacks are politically motivated. "People are going to attack you to obtain political advantage," Husted said. "The goal of the other side is to make me look bad." And indeed, some Democrats are comparing Husted to Katherine Harris, the secretary of state of Florida during the disastrous recount in 2000.
Husted is not as easy to caricature as the Democrats would like. As speaker of the Ohio house of representatives, he supported passage of an election-reform law designed to fix the problems of overcrowding that beset the 2004 election. That bill established broad early voting in the state for the first time. In 2011, he opposed an attempt by Ohio's Republican-led legislature to impose a strict voter-ID law of the sort Democrats successfully fought elsewhere in the country. "I don't believe that you need to have a photo ID to provide for voter security," he told NPR last year. And in August, he implemented a rule that allowed 106,000 voters to change their addresses online, which meant they will cast regular ballots, not provisional ones, at the polls on Tuesday.
But if Husted looks moderate from one angle, from another his moderation seems to be as much about political smarts as it is about centrism. In 2010, he campaigned for secretary of state on the idea of leveling the playing field for all voters in Ohio and said he wanted to apply the same rules to everyone. But he found ways of making uniformity work for GOP interests.
(MORE: Why Ohio Will Decide the Presidential Election)
When some counties wanted to expand early voting to after-work hours and weekends, for example, he said he would intervene and enforce traditional rules only if local officials were evenly split on the issue, a seemingly uniform decision that would largely keep voting hours tight.
But because all Ohio counties have two Democrats and two Republicans deciding voting hours, and since Democrats generally see an advantage in longer voting hours, it was heavily Republican counties that ended up with expanded voting hours. Deadlocks came in largely Democratic counties, where the two Republicans tended to vote against expanding the hours. Husted broke the ties in favor of limiting voting hours, and not surprisingly, Ohio ended up with more early-voting advantages for Republicans than before.
When the New York Times highlighted the distinctly non-uniform early-voting rules, Husted quickly passed a statewide rule setting uniform, extended early-voting hours in all 88 counties. He then tried to restrict them on the weekend before the presidential election, the most active time for working class early voters.
(MORE: The Keys to Ohio: Five Counties That Could Decide the Presidency)
Husted defended his handling of the expansion of early voting and his efforts to block voting the weekend before the election. "We have the most liberal voting opportunities of any state in our area, and I settled that issue fairly, uniformly and consistently across every county," he said.
He also said he's ready for possible court battles after Tuesday's vote if there is a recount that challenges some of his recent rulemaking. He said many of the attacks against him are preparing the ground for such court battles. "That's absolutely the case, and I don't lament that. It's just life being secretary of state in the most important swing state in the country," he said. "People are going to sue and create controversy to prepare the environment for postelection contests."
Husted said he knew what he was getting into when he decided to run for the office in 2010 after a decade in the state legislature that included four years as speaker. So far, he has chosen his battles with care, showing he has not just a stomach for the contest but the smarts to play through the whole game. That may leave some Democrats in a rage, but it has some Republicans wondering where Husted's willingness to fight will take him next.


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Toxic people such as malignant narcissists, psychopaths and those with antisocial traits engage in maladaptive behaviors in relationships that ultimately exploit, demean and hurt their intimate partners, family members and friends. They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility. Although those who are not narcissistic can employ these tactics as well, abusive narcissists use these to an excessive extent in an effort to escape accountability for their actions.
Here are the 20 diversionary tactics toxic people use to silence and degrade you.
1. Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: "That didn't happen," "You imagined it," and "Are you crazy?" Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment.
When a narcissist, sociopath or psychopath gaslights you, you may be prone to gaslighting yourself as a way to reconcile the cognitive dissonance that might arise. Two conflicting beliefs battle it out: is this person right or can I trust what I experienced? A manipulative person will convince you that the former is an inevitable truth while the latter is a sign of dysfunction on your end.
In order to resist gaslighting, it's important to ground yourself in your own reality – sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect. The power of having a validating community is that it can redirect you from the distorted reality of a malignant person and back to your own inner guidance.
2. Projection.
One sure sign of toxicity is when a person is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. This is known as projection. Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of one's negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else. It ultimately acts as a digression that avoids ownership and accountability
While we all engage in projection to some extent, according to Narcissistic Personality clinical expert Dr. Martinez-Lewi, the projections of a narcissist are often psychologically abusive. Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel. Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. This is a way for a narcissist to project any toxic shame they have about themselves onto another.
For example, a person who engages in pathological lying may accuse their partner of fibbing; a needy spouse may call their husband "clingy" in an attempt to depict them as the one who is dependent; a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort to escape the truth about their own productivity.
Narcissistic abusers love to play the "blameshifting game." Objectives of the game: they win, you lose, and you or the world at large is blamed for everything that's wrong with them. This way, you get to babysit their fragile ego while you're thrust into a sea of self-doubt. Fun, right?
Solution? Don't "project" your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person and don't own any of the toxic person's projections either. As manipulation expert and author Dr. George Simon (2010) notes in his book In Sheep's Clothing, projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence of being met with further exploitation.
Narcissists on the extreme end of the spectrum usually have no interest in self-insight or change. It's important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible so you can get centered in your own reality and validate your own identity. You don't have to live in someone else's cesspool of dysfunction.
3. Nonsensical conversations from hell.
If you think you're going to have a thoughtful discussion with someone who is toxic, be prepared for epic mindfuckery rather than conversational mindfulness.
Malignant narcissists and sociopaths use word salad, circular conversations, ad hominem arguments, projection and gaslighting to disorient you and get you off track should you ever disagree with them or challenge them in any way. They do this in order to discredit, confuse and frustrate you, distract you from the main problem and make you feel guilty for being a human being with actual thoughts and feelings that might differ from their own. In their eyes, you are the problem if you happen to exist.
Spend even ten minutes arguing with a toxic narcissist and you'll find yourself wondering how the argument even began at all. You simply disagreed with them about their absurd claim that the sky is red and now your entire childhood, family, friends, career and lifestyle choices have come under attack. That is because your disagreement picked at their false belief that they are omnipotent and omniscient, resulting in a narcissistic injury.
Remember: toxic people don't argue with you, they essentially argue with themselves and you become privy to their long, draining monologues. They thrive off the drama and they live for it. Each and every time you attempt to provide a point that counters their ridiculous assertions, you feed them supply. Don't feed the narcissists supply – rather, supply yourself with the confirmation that their abusive behavior is the problem, not you. Cut the interaction short as soon as you anticipate it escalating and use your energy on some decadent self-care instead.
4. Blanket statements and generalizations.
Malignant narcissists aren't always intellectual masterminds – many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that don't acknowledge the nuances in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives you've paid homage to. Better yet, why not put a label on you that dismisses your perspective altogether?
On a larger scale, generalizations and blanket statements invalidate experiences that don't fit in the unsupported assumptions, schemas and stereotypes of society; they are also used to maintain the status quo. This form of digression exaggerates one perspective to the point where a social justice issue can become completely obscured. For example, rape accusations against well-liked figures are often met with the reminder that there are false reports of rape that occur. While those do occur, they are rare, and in this case, the actions of one become labeled the behavior of the majority while the specific report itself remains unaddressed.
These everyday microaggressions also happen in toxic relationships. If you bring up to a narcissistic abuser that their behavior is unacceptable for example, they will often make blanket generalizations about your hypersensitivity or make a generalization such as, "You are never satisfied," or "You're always too sensitive" rather than addressing the real issues at hand. It's possible that you are oversensitive at times, but it is also possible that the abuser is also insensitive and cruel the majority of the time.
Hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms of black and white illogical thinking. Toxic people wielding blanket statements do not represent the full richness of experience – they represent the limited one of their singular experience and overinflated sense of self.
5. Deliberately misrepresenting your thoughts and feelings to the point of absurdity.
In the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath, your differing opinions, legitimate emotions and lived experiences get translated into character flaws and evidence of your irrationality.
Narcissists weave tall tales to reframe what you're actually saying as a way to make your opinions look absurd or heinous. Let's say you bring up the fact that you're unhappy with the way a toxic friend is speaking to you. In response, he or she may put words in your mouth, saying, "Oh, so now you're perfect?" or "So I am a bad person, huh?" when you've done nothing but express your feelings. This enables them to invalidate your right to have thoughts and emotions about their inappropriate behavior and instills in you a sense of guilt when you attempt to establish boundaries.
This is also a popular form of diversion and cognitive distortion that is known as "mind reading." Toxic people often presume they know what you're thinking and feeling. They chronically jump to conclusions based on their own triggers rather than stepping back to evaluate the situation mindfully. They act accordingly based on their own delusions and fallacies and make no apologies for the harm they cause as a result. Notorious for putting words in your mouth, they depict you as having an intention or outlandish viewpoint you didn't possess. They accuse you of thinking of them as toxic – even before you've gotten the chance to call them out on their behavior – and this also serves as a form of preemptive defense.
Simply stating, "I never said that," and walking away should the person continue to accuse you of doing or saying something you didn't can help to set a firm boundary in this type of interaction. So long as the toxic person can blameshift and digress from their own behavior, they have succeeded in convincing you that you should be "shamed" for giving them any sort of realistic feedback.
6. Nitpicking and moving the goal posts.
The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the presence of a personal attack and impossible standards. These so-called "critics" often don't want to help you improve, they just want to nitpick, pull you down and scapegoat you in any way they can. Abusive narcissists and sociopaths employ a logical fallacy known as "moving the goalposts" in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after you've provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof.
Do you have a successful career? The narcissist will then start to pick on why you aren't a multi-millionaire yet. Did you already fulfill their need to be excessively catered to? Now it's time to prove that you can also remain "independent." The goal posts will perpetually change and may not even be related to each other; they don't have any other point besides making you vie for the narcissist's approval and validation.
By raising the expectations higher and higher each time or switching them completely, highly manipulative and toxic people are able to instill in you a pervasive sense of unworthiness and of never feeling quite "enough." By pointing out one irrelevant fact or one thing you did wrong and developing a hyperfocus on it, narcissists get to divert from your strengths and pull you into obsessing over any flaws or weaknesses instead. They get you thinking about the next expectation of theirs you're going to have to meet – until eventually you've bent over backwards trying to fulfill their every need – only to realize it didn't change the horrific way they treated you.
Don't get sucked into nitpicking and changing goal posts – if someone chooses to rehash an irrelevant point over and over again to the point where they aren't acknowledging the work you've done to validate your point or satisfy them, their motive isn't to better understand. It's to further provoke you into feeling as if you have to constantly prove yourself. Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you don't have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way.
7. Changing the subject to evade accountability.
This type of tactic is what I like to call the "What about me?" syndrome. It is a literal digression from the actual topic that works to redirect attention to a different issue altogether. Narcissists don't want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them. Complaining about their neglectful parenting? They'll point out a mistake you committed seven years ago. This type of diversion has no limits in terms of time or subject content, and often begins with a sentence like "What about the time when…"
On a macrolevel, these diversions work to derail discussions that challenge the status quo. A discussion about gay rights, for example, may be derailed quickly by someone who brings in another social justice issue just to distract people from the main argument.
As Tara Moss, author of Speaking Out: A 21st Century Handbook for Women and Girls, notes, specificity is needed in order to resolve and address issues appropriately – that doesn't mean that the issues that are being brought up don't matter, it just means that the specific time and place may not be the best context to discuss them.
Don't be derailed – if someone pulls a switcheroo on you, you can exercise what I call the "broken record" method and continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, "That's not what I am talking about. Let's stay focused on the real issue." If they're not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive – like not having a debate with someone who has the mental age of a toddler.
8. Covert and overt threats.
Narcissistic abusers and otherwise toxic people feel very threatened when their excessive sense of entitlement, false sense of superiority and grandiose sense of self are challenged in any way. They are prone to making unreasonable demands on others – while punishing you for not living up to their impossible to reach expectations.
Rather than tackle disagreements or compromises maturely, they set out to divert you from your right to have your own identity and perspective by attempting to instill fear in you about the consequences of disagreeing or complying with their demands. To them, any challenge results in an ultimatum and "do this or I'll do that" becomes their daily mantra.
If someone's reaction to you setting boundaries or having a differing opinion from your own is to threaten you into submission, whether it's a thinly veiled threat or an overt admission of what they plan to do, this is a red flag of someone who has a high degree of entitlement and has no plans of compromising. Take threats seriously and show the narcissist you mean business; document threats and report them whenever possible and legally feasible.
9. Name-calling.
Narcissists preemptively blow anything they perceive as a threat to their superiority out of proportion. In their world, only they can ever be right and anyone who dares to say otherwise creates a narcissistic injury that results in narcissistic rage. As Mark Goulston, M.D. asserts, narcissistic rage does not result from low self-esteem but rather a high sense of entitlement and false sense of superiority.
The lowest of the low resort to narcissistic rage in the form of name-calling when they can't think of a better way to manipulate your opinion or micromanage your emotions. Name-calling is a quick and easy way to put you down, degrade you and insult your intelligence, appearance or behavior while invalidating your right to be a separate person with a right to his or her perspective.
Name-calling can also be used to criticize your beliefs, opinions and insights. A well-researched perspective or informed opinion suddenly becomes "silly" or "idiotic" in the hands of a malignant narcissist or sociopath who feels threatened by it and cannot make a respectful, convincing rebuttal. Rather than target your argument, they target you as a person and seek to undermine your credibility and intelligence in any way they possibly can. It's important to end any interaction that consists of name-calling and communicate that you won't tolerate it. Don't internalize it: realize that they are resorting to name-calling because they are deficient in higher level methods.
10. Destructive conditioning.
Toxic people condition you to associate your strengths, talents, and happy memories with abuse, frustration and disrespect. They do this by sneaking in covert and overt put-downs about the qualities and traits they once idealized as well as sabotaging your goals, ruining celebrations, vacations and holidays. They may even isolate you from your friends and family and make you financially dependent upon them. Like Pavlov's dogs, you're essentially "trained" over time to become afraid of doing the very things that once made your life fulfilling.
Narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and otherwise toxic people do this because they wish to divert attention back to themselves and how you're going to please them. If there is anything outside of them that may threaten their control over your life, they seek to destroy it. They need to be the center of attention at all times. In the idealization phase, you were once the center of a narcissist's world – now the narcissist becomes the center of yours.
Narcissists are also naturally pathologically envious and don't want anything to come in between them and their influence over you. Your happiness represents everything they feel they cannot have in their emotionally shallow lives. After all, if you learn that you can get validation, respect and love from other sources besides the toxic person, what's to keep you from leaving them? To toxic people, a little conditioning can go a long way to keep you walking on eggshells and falling just short of your big dreams.
11. Smear campaigns and stalking.
When toxic types can't control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they play the martyr while you're labeled the toxic one. A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name so that you won't have a support network to fall back on lest you decide to detach and cut ties with this toxic person. They may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to supposedly "expose" the truth about you; this exposure acts as a way to hide their own abusive behavior while projecting it onto you.
Some smear campaigns can even work to pit two people or two groups against each other. A victim in an abusive relationship with a narcissist often doesn't know what's being said about them during the relationship, but they eventually find out the falsehoods shortly after they've been discarded.
Toxic people will gossip behind your back (and in front of your face), slander you to your loved ones or their loved ones, create stories that depict you as the aggressor while they play the victim, and claim that you engaged in the same behaviors that they are afraid you will accuse them of engaging in. They will also methodically, covertly and deliberately abuse you so they can use your reactions as a way to prove that they are the so-called "victims" of your abuse.
The best way to handle a smear campaign is to stay mindful of your reactions and stick to the facts. This is especially pertinent for high-conflict divorces with narcissists who may use your reactions to their provocations against you. Document any form of harassment, cyberbullying or stalking incidents and always speak to your narcissist through a lawyer whenever possible. You may wish to take legal action if you feel the stalking and harassment is getting out of control; finding a lawyer who is well-versed in Narcissistic Personality Disorder is crucial if that's the case. Your character and integrity will speak for itself when the narcissist's false mask begins to slip.
12. Love-bombing and devaluation.
Toxic people put you through an idealization phase until you're sufficiently hooked and invested in beginning a friendship or relationship with you. Then, they begin to devalue you while insulting the very things they admired in the first place. Another variation of this is when a toxic individual puts you on a pedestal while aggressively devaluing and attacking someone else who threatens their sense of superiority.
Narcissistic abusers do this all the time – they devalue their exes to their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissist's ex-partner. Ultimately what will happen is that you will also be on the receiving end of the same abuse. You will one day be the ex-partner they degrade to their new source of supply. You just don't know it yet. That's why it's important to stay mindful of the love-bombing technique whenever you witness behavior that doesn't align with the saccharine sweetness a narcissist subjects you to.
As life coach Wendy Powell suggests, slowing things down with people you suspect may be toxic is an important way of combating the love-bombing technique. Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future.
13. Preemptive defense.
When someone stresses the fact that they are a "nice guy" or girl, that you should "trust them" right away or emphasizes their credibility without any provocation from you whatsoever, be wary.
Toxic and abusive people overstate their ability to be kind and compassionate. They often tell you that you should "trust" them without first building a solid foundation of trust. They may "perform" a high level of sympathy and empathy at the beginning of your relationship to dupe you, only to unveil their false mask later on. When you see their false mask begins to slip periodically during the devaluation phase of the abuse cycle, the true self is revealed to be terrifyingly cold, callous and contemptuous.
Genuinely nice people rarely have to persistently show off their positive qualities – they exude their warmth more than they talk about it and they know that actions speak volumes more than mere words. They know that trust and respect is a two-way street that requires reciprocity, not repetition.
To counter a preemptive defense, reevaluate why a person may be emphasizing their good qualities. Is it because they think you don't trust them, or because they know you shouldn't? Trust actions more than empty words and see how someone's actions communicate who they are, not who they say they are.
14. Triangulation.
Bringing in the opinion, perspective or suggested threat of another person into the dynamic of an interaction is known as "triangulation." Often used to validate the toxic person's abuse while invalidating the victim's reactions to abuse, triangulation can also work to manufacture love triangles that leave you feeling unhinged and insecure.
Malignant narcissists love to triangulate their significant other with strangers, co-workers, ex-partners, friends and even family members in order to evoke jealousy and uncertainty in you. They also use the opinions of others to validate their point of view.
This is a diversionary tactic meant to pull your attention away from their abusive behavior and into a false image of them as a desirable, sought after person. It also leaves you questioning yourself – if Mary did agree with Tom, doesn't that mean that you must be wrong? The truth is, narcissists love to "report back" falsehoods about others say about you, when in fact, they are the ones smearing you.
To resist triangulation tactics, realize that whoever the narcissist is triangulating with is also being triangulated by your relationship with the narcissist as well. Everyone is essentially being played by this one person. Reverse "triangulate" the narcissist by gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissist's influence – and also by seeking your own validation.
15. Bait and feign innocence.
Toxic individuals lure you into a false sense of security simply to have a platform to showcase their cruelty. Baiting you into a mindless, chaotic argument can escalate into a showdown rather quickly with someone who doesn't know the meaning of respect. A simple disagreement may bait you into responding politely initially, until it becomes clear that the person has a malicious motive of tearing you down.
By "baiting" you with a seemingly innocuous comment disguised as a rational one, they can then begin to play with you. Remember: narcissistic abusers have learned about your insecurities, the unsettling catchphrases that interrupt your confidence, and the disturbing topics that reenact your wounds – and they use this knowledge maliciously to provoke you. After you've fallen for it, hook line and sinker, they'll stand back and innocently ask whether you're "okay" and talk about how they didn't "mean" to agitate you. This faux innocence works to catch you off guard and make you believe that they truly didn't intend to hurt you, until it happens so often you can't deny the reality of their malice any longer.
It helps to realize when you're being baited so you can avoid engaging altogether. Provocative statements, name-calling, hurtful accusations or unsupported generalizations, for example, are common baiting tactics. Your gut instinct can also tell you when you're being baited – if you feel "off" about a certain comment and continue to feel this way even after it has been expanded on, that's a sign you may need to take some space to reevaluate the situation before choosing to respond.
16. Boundary testing and hoovering.
Narcissists, sociopaths and otherwise toxic people continually try and test your boundaries to see which ones they can trespass. The more violations they're able to commit without consequences, the more they'll push the envelope.
That's why survivors of emotional as well as physical abuse often experience even more severe incidents of abuse each and every time they go back to their abusers.
Abusers tend to "hoover" their victims back in with sweet promises, fake remorse and empty words of how they are going to change, only to abuse their victims even more horrifically. In the abuser's sick mind, this boundary testing serves as a punishment for standing up to the abuse and also for being going back to it. When narcissists try to press the emotional reset button, reinforce your boundaries even more strongly rather than backtracking on them.
Remember – highly manipulative people don't respond to empathy or compassion. They respond to consequences.
17. Aggressive jabs disguised as jokes.
Covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense. These are usually dressed up as "just jokes" so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor. Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor. This is a tactic frequently used in verbal abuse.
The contemptuous smirk and sadistic gleam in their eyes gives it away, however – like a predator that plays with its food, a toxic person gains pleasure from hurting you and being able to get away with it. After all, it's just a joke, right? Wrong. It's a way to gaslight you into thinking their abuse is a joke – a way to divert from their cruelty and onto your perceived sensitivity. It is important that when this happens, you stand up for yourself and make it clear that you won't tolerate this type of behavior.
Calling out manipulative people on their covert put-downs may result in further gaslighting from the abuser but maintain your stance that their behavior is not okay and end the interaction immediately if you have to.
18. Condescending sarcasm and patronizing tone.
Belittling and degrading a person is a toxic person's forte and their tone of voice is only one tool in their toolbox. Sarcasm can be a fun mode of communication when both parties are engaged, but narcissists use it chronically as a way to manipulate you and degrade you. If you in any way react to it, you must be "too sensitive."
Forget that the toxic person constantly has temper tantrums every time their big bad ego is faced with realistic feedback – the victim is the hypersensitive one, apparently. So long as you're treated like a child and constantly challenged for expressing yourself, you'll start to develop a sense of hypervigilance about voicing your thoughts and opinions without reprimand. This self-censorship enables the abuser to put in less work in silencing you, because you begin to silence yourself.
Whenever you are met with a condescending demeanor or tone, call it out firmly and assertively. You don't deserve to be spoken down to like a child – nor should you ever silence yourself to meet the expectation of someone else's superiority complex.
19. Shaming.
"You should be ashamed of yourself" is a favorite saying of toxic people. Though it can be used by someone who is non-toxic, in the realm of the narcissist or sociopath, shaming is an effective method that targets any behavior or belief that might challenge a toxic person's power. It can also be used to destroy and whittle away at a victim's self-esteem: if a victim dares to be proud of something, shaming the victim for that specific trait, quality or accomplishment can serve to diminish their sense of self and stifle any pride they may have.
Malignant narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths enjoy using your own wounds against you – so they will even shame you about any abuse or injustice you've suffered in your lifetime as a way to retraumatize you. Were you a childhood abuse survivor? A malignant narcissist or sociopath will claim that you must've done something to deserve it, or brag about their own happy childhood as a way to make you feel deficient and unworthy. What better way to injure you, after all, than to pick at the original wound? As surgeons of madness, they seek to exacerbate wounds, not help heal them.
If you suspect you're dealing with a toxic person, avoid revealing any of your vulnerabilities or past traumas. Until they've proven their character to you, there is no point disclosing information that could be potentially used against you.
20. Control.
Most importantly, toxic abusers love to maintain control in whatever way they can. They isolate you, maintain control over your finances and social networks, and micromanage every facet of your life. Yet the most powerful mechanism they have for control is toying with your emotions.
That's why abusive narcissists and sociopaths manufacture situations of conflict out of thin air to keep you feeling off center and off balanced. That's why they chronically engage in disagreements about irrelevant things and rage over perceived slights. That's why they emotionally withdraw, only to re-idealize you once they start to lose control. That's why they vacillate between their false self and their true self, so you never get a sense of psychological safety or certainty about who your partner truly is.
The more power they have over your emotions, the less likely you'll trust your own reality and the truth about the abuse you're enduring. Knowing the manipulative tactics and how they work to erode your sense of self can arm you with the knowledge of what you're facing and at the very least, develop a plan to regain control over your own life and away from toxic people.
Reposted. Original article is located here: http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/


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