text:
Friday, November 7, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Well, sort of, anyway.
That deer is staring straight into my soul, and it's totally creeping me out. The smoke column on the side is kind of odd, too, although I like the idea of using sprinkles for ash.
And what could be better than a cake with a demonic deer staring out from the fiery depths? How about one that was sold in California when all the wild fires were raging? Yep. Niiice.
Or, to Wreck it up further, you could always have a dial-a-wreck inscription on it:
That's supposed to say, "Happy Birthday you old bastard". So obviously the wonky heart was the decorator's idea. "Let's see, demonic deer, unintelligible greeting, hmm...it still needs something...."
Oh, wait, that smoke column was supposed to be a tree? Huh. Well, I guess if all the leaves were burned off...
Jenna Z. and Rya M., these cakes are smokin'.
161 comments | Post a Comment
- Angie McCullagh said...
I've decided to start taking my camera to the grocery store. I've already missed one or two great Wreck opportunities.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com) - November 7, 2008 at 9:21 AM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
Pastard? Really??
- November 7, 2008 at 9:22 AM
- ad said...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:23 AM
You know, there's something about the haphazard way the second cake's letting is applied that just underscores the message...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:23 AM
- Trevor said...
Okay, here's what I'm wondering: On cake #1, is that a plastic deer, or one made out of fondant/gumpaste? I think it must be the former, becuase it looks VERY good, and wouldn't mesh with the quality on the rest of the cake.
Cake #2. *shakes head* - November 7, 2008 at 9:23 AM
- Miss Kolleen said...
if it were a goat i would have it mounted on my wall !
- November 7, 2008 at 9:27 AM
- Eternal Lizdom said...
I sent this in too! Couldn't believe it when I saw it! Made me flashback to poor Bambi...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:28 AM
- Jessim said...
The grass is much better done in the second cake- it really does look like fire in the second one. Without the inscription the second one would actually be nice, well, assuming you wanted a deer cake.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:28 AM
- Miranda said...
oh my.
The first one does look like a prairie fire. Which is cooking an oddly complacent deer.
The second one represents the trees and field better, but the writing looks like it was done by someone's two-year-old.
I bet if I applied for a cake decorating job I would be turned down cold (I'm a copy editor) but actually, not only can I decorate better, but also I can at least spell and punctuate the messages correctly!
Hey. That's an idea. Have these shops hire copy editors. No cake goes out without being proofread first. - November 7, 2008 at 9:29 AM
- Shira-chan said...
Am I the only one who initially read it as "Happy Birthday, you old Postcard"? hahahaha.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:32 AM
"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will eat venison."
- November 7, 2008 at 9:32 AM
Is that a plastic deer head? Creepy.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:35 AM
- CraftRage said...
HAAAA!!!!!! The first one looks like something from Bambi's worst nightmare.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:36 AM
"Pastard" = what happens when an old bastard goes out to pasture
Brilliant! - November 7, 2008 at 9:36 AM
- The Liebers said...
But the deer themselves are nicely done...they must be some sort of plastic add on?
- November 7, 2008 at 9:37 AM
- Vashti said...
hahahaha! Im not sure what to think about this......is it really supposed to be flames? If so .....that is terrible.......if not it's still terrible but in an un-sad sort of way!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:38 AM
- Mari said...
Huh, and I thought Halloween was over...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:40 AM
- Jean said...
It's like a bad Bambi flashback!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:40 AM
The deer has got to be plastic, how else would it look so good and the rest look so wrecky?
- November 7, 2008 at 9:40 AM
- Real Live Lesbian said...
Sadly, I know WAY too many men that would LOVE that!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:41 AM
- Carrie said...
Nothing says "I love you" like a frosting rendition of torching Bambi. Unless of course you call that special someone an "old pastard."
- November 7, 2008 at 9:41 AM
- Gretchen said...
Aha, the second cake makes it clear that the deer is not beconing from the fiery pits of hell...it's standing next to an autumn tree in a grassy field...you know, with yellowed, tall grass...right?
- November 7, 2008 at 9:41 AM
- Melissa said...
wow... after really thinking about it, methinks that this is supposed to be a deer in the brush during hunting season (fall). However, you really shouldn't have to think that hard to figure out what a picture on a cake actually is!!!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:42 AM
- CEW said...
Those deer are smiling at me....
- November 7, 2008 at 9:42 AM
- Unknown said...
And just in case you weren't sure if the deer was on fire or not, the first cake was sponsored by the letter F... and they were kind enough to hide the sponsor in the shape of a tree.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:44 AM
- Jeanne said...
This is the worst nightmare of all deer hunters. That the deer they've bagged are all coming back from hell to torment their souls . .in cake form that is.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:46 AM
- Carrie said...
And lets just assume someone out there is named "Pastard" and the cake wanted to tell Pastard that he's old. It's still wrong! Never mind torching the wildlife. The only thing this cake lacks is some nicely misused quotation marks!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:46 AM
Oh you old Pastard. Not quite a bastard. I was thinking maybe the decorator wrote it upside down but then that would be "pastarq." :D
- November 7, 2008 at 9:47 AM
I see two sides to this cake. Having hunted with my husband I can tell you the flames are probably meant to be long grass that is of course brown because prime deer season is usually fall-ish, so of course the grass is dead - and the sprinkles are leaves falling off the tree. But it's really badly executed. That's the practical side.
The fanciful side says that you're right and it's really flames. And Satan couldn't afford to hire four horsemen (even with outsourcing) let alone four horses because PETA wouldn't let him, so all he could find was ol' demon buck here.
The apocalypse is upon us and Bambi is SERIOUSLY pissed about what happened to his mother. - November 7, 2008 at 9:47 AM
- Robert said...
Maybe it was a cross between the "correct" inscription and a wish that the recipient be "Hoisted on his own Petard"? I know it's a stretch, but "your old Pastard" kinda sounds like it...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- hollygee said...
Maybe the 'flames' are late summer grasses? At least that's what it looks like on the second one. The first one is as successful at that as it is in portraying a tree.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:48 AM
- Ariel said...
I'm not sure I agree with you about the fire- I think its fall grass that's turned gold- and the thing on the side is supposed to be a tree? With Autumn leaves? But it does LOOK like it's supposed to be fire, doesn't it? Either way, the deer is clearly possessed by Satan. :)
- November 7, 2008 at 9:49 AM
Is anyone else having flashbacks to the fire scene in "Bambi"? Just me? Ok. I'm also reminded of the Woodland Critters Christmas, for all you South Park fans out there...
- November 7, 2008 at 9:51 AM
- MelissaJane said...
The first cake looks just like the rehearsal cake on Bridezillas with Cari & Rebecca. Lol. I think it is her cake.
- November 7, 2008 at 9:55 AM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
That first cake needs an inscription like: "See you in Hell, Pastard."
BTW, Shira-Chan: I read the second one as Postcard, too. - November 7, 2008 at 9:56 AM
- Boozy Tooth said...
Hate to be a spoil sport because I love looking at all the specimen cakes with the same cynical skewed scrutiny as our blog host, but c'mon. Those aren't forest fire cakes! They are lovely autumn depictions of deer gazing lovingly through meadow straw and bare nekkid trees save for a few acorns (shuddering at that word!). Not buying that, huh? Okay then, roasted venison for everyone!
Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com - November 7, 2008 at 9:58 AM
- Eternal Lizdom said...
I posted my pic on my own blog... I actually think my grocery's decorator has some skillz since the grass and tree look pretty dang good... the idea still seems way wrong, though.
http://eternallizdom.blogspot.com - November 7, 2008 at 10:05 AM
What the hell's a Postard?
- November 7, 2008 at 10:07 AM
- writtenwyrdd said...
I figure you must know this, but that's a tree and those are autumn grasses, because deer season is in the autumn. But it does appear to be a deer peering out from a grassfire, doesn't it?
- November 7, 2008 at 10:07 AM
- The Dutchess of Kickball said...
What is a Pastard?
- November 7, 2008 at 10:08 AM
- Jayme said...
I'm pretty sure the top one is telling me 'F U'
- November 7, 2008 at 10:09 AM
Can I just say that I initially read that as "Your old Postcard". Way to be confusing.
- November 7, 2008 at 10:09 AM
- Tiffy said...
Poor Bambi. =( Really they spelled it Pastard?!
- November 7, 2008 at 10:13 AM
- The Queen said...
I'm about to admit something horrible...that first cake -- I think it was a groom's cake at a wedding in South Carolina in the spring. I say that because it appeared on the WE show "Bridezillas" And now I've just admitted to watching that trainwreck.
(Oh and the bride complained that it didn't LOOK homemade enough.) - November 7, 2008 at 10:19 AM
- Emtifah said...
OMG - I saw someone carrying one of these at a Walmart in rural VA. Unfortunately I didn't have my camera. I'm glad someone else got a picture of.
I'm just creeped out with the floating deers head. - November 7, 2008 at 10:20 AM
- jackie31337 said...
Shira-chan said... Am I the only one who initially read it as "Happy Birthday, you old Postcard"?
I read it as "Happy Birthday, your old Postcard. Which makes even less sense, actually. - November 7, 2008 at 10:28 AM
- Molly said...
I read that as "Your old postcard".
- November 7, 2008 at 10:31 AM
- Word Ninja said...
Creepy doe-eyes aside..why on earth would there be more than one of these?! What occasion could possibly merit a red-velvet version of one of the final scenes from Bambi? Although I think it's sweet that "Your old Pastard" cared enough to send it to someone =)
- November 7, 2008 at 10:32 AM
OH GOOD...someone else saw this too. I thot I was the only one. IN the first one, the thing that jumped out at me is a letter F in the tree and a U in the deer's antler's. Warped sense of humor on the decorater's part??? LOL
The second one...*shakes head* NO words can do it justice
BTW...love the site. I am going shopping today and am taking my camera along..HEHEHE! - November 7, 2008 at 10:35 AM
- Morgi said...
Whoever made cake #1 needs to realize that the star tip is not the ideal tool for every single decorating task.
- November 7, 2008 at 10:36 AM
- momofonefornow said...
What in the heck is a "Pastard"?
- November 7, 2008 at 10:48 AM
These are great! My husband is a hunter. He'll really get a kick out of this one when he gets home from work!
Thanks! =) - November 7, 2008 at 10:48 AM
the deer are definitely smiling. a really creepy come and shoot me if you can you old pastard kind of smile.
seriously... i think that these cakes were 'stock' fall/hunting cakes that the store bakery was supposed to have on hand (obviously one decorator was a bit more talented than the other) and that the hideous blue scrawling on the 2nd cake was an add on buy the purchaser and/or the non-skilled bakery employee that sold the cake. or at least that what i tell myself to make this okay... - November 7, 2008 at 10:48 AM
- Sabrina said...
LOL, it's not fire! It's tall yellow fall prarie grass... like during hunting season? With a fall tree on the side.
But eating a deer head on a cake is always.... difficult. - November 7, 2008 at 10:51 AM
- Hi Kooky said...
This is one of the strangest cake concepts I've ever seen.
- November 7, 2008 at 10:52 AM
- Kat Mortensen said...
You know that shot in "The Queen" where Helen Mirren sees the deer? Yup. BAMBI, meets the QUEEN in the raging fires of California.
Cake #2 - It never ceases to amaze me how people cannot grasp the concept of Your vs. You're.
Love the "pastard" though.
Kat - November 7, 2008 at 10:53 AM
- Smoochiefrog said...
Maybe I'm alone in that I don't think the decoration part of either one is that bad. The dried grass looks better in the second one, as do the deer and the tree.
Those words though. Dear God in Heaven! I need to poke my eyes out after seeing that. - November 7, 2008 at 10:53 AM
- Garret said...
Deer are so cute. I thought they were flames. Maybe it was meant for wildlife to purchase for their deceased friends memory? That was shot down by the next cake "Happy Birthday your old postcard". I'm happy it wasn't fire afterall. Poor Bambi.
- November 7, 2008 at 10:55 AM
- margaret said...
I personally enjoy the fact that the leaves on the first "tree" are sprinkles-and star-shaped ones at that...not even leaf-shaped ones.
I don't know what to make of the second one's inscription. Perhaps the cake is from an old friend named Pastard...Happy Birthday, (from) your old (friend) Pastard. But not all those words would fit so they had to pick their favorite ones?
ps-I definitely saw the "FU" on the first one too. - November 7, 2008 at 10:58 AM
- Bri said...
These make me :(
They seem to glorify the random burning of demonic, smiling wildlife. Not to mention blossoming pillars of smoke that rain rainbow sprinkles.
I also prefer the second cake when I thought it said "Happy birthday your old postcard". That took me to a happy place :)
--Brianna over at PassionFruit! - November 7, 2008 at 11:04 AM
Glad to know I'm not the only one who read it as "Happy birthday, your old postcard!"
Well, it makes about as much sense as a LOT of what we see here... - November 7, 2008 at 11:04 AM
- Unknown said...
The poor Deer. Commercial for "Only YOU Can Prevent A Deer From Going To Hell"??
And then I thought, who would call someone an "Old Postcard" then turning my head sideways.."Pastard? Oh! Bastard." Yeah..okay. Sure. (Shakes head)
~Amy B. - November 7, 2008 at 11:13 AM
I love the design of this cake
- November 7, 2008 at 11:14 AM
I'm picking up my son's birthday cake tomorrow morning and secretly hoping for something really awful.
- November 7, 2008 at 11:15 AM
- Sara said...
I actually had to do a "deer hunting" cake for a 6 year old once. I went to Walmart to see if I could just buy something to go on the cake, and that was the cake they showed me....that deer is actually a magnet. Crazy....
Needless to say, I am not a fan of hunting cakes. - November 7, 2008 at 11:15 AM
What I want to know is, why is the sky green/yellow in both of these cakes? Don't tell me the green skyline is supposed to represent tree canopies, because if thats the case then these are the worst/laziest air-brushed "forests" I have ever seen. Plus, forests + prairie grass aren't usually found together, from what I understand.
Also, why make the "grass" yellow? I understand the autumn thing, but still. If they had simply made the grass green (or even brown/tan if you want the dead-grass look) then they would probably had avoided the whole "deer burning alive in massive fire" image altogether. - November 7, 2008 at 11:17 AM
i thought that the deer must be plastic as well, seeing as how they are so well done, comparatively. but they look different from each other, meaning that both of these decorators somehow did the hardest part of the cake really well and the rest...not so much.
and the grass in the second one does look a lot more like grass, except where it is by the tree, and looks like perfectly formed tongues of fire. totally strange - November 7, 2008 at 11:18 AM
- Lisa Chin said...
Oh my! That's horribly wrong. It really makes you wonder what these people were thinking! oh right, they weren't.
- November 7, 2008 at 11:18 AM
I thought it said, "Happy Birthday, your old Pastor."
- November 7, 2008 at 11:18 AM
- ksaldria said...
OMG it's Bambi in Hell!
It looks like he just decided to pop up in the middle of Dante's Inferno. Clearly Babmi has some major sins to atone for that none of us ever knew about. - November 7, 2008 at 11:23 AM
Well....at least the deer on the 2nd cake looks more friendly.
- November 7, 2008 at 11:25 AM
Oh my...I just googled Deer Cake and can't believe what I came up with. The share number of bodyless deers.
- November 7, 2008 at 11:40 AM
- Leigh Ayn said...
At least the colors are pretty!
I think so anyway.
uh oh.
I think too much halloween candy may have impaired my judgment. - November 7, 2008 at 11:40 AM
- UnitOfForce said...
That's not just "You old Postcard" that's "YOUR". I can't be the only one who sees the r on the end of it. It's killing me.
The deer are so well done. I'm so confused. - November 7, 2008 at 11:41 AM
- Pink Sith said...
Oh for the love of....Now I know what happened to Bambi's dad!
- November 7, 2008 at 11:42 AM
- Unknown said...
Postcard! Now I know what to get for my deerhunting mailman boyfriend who was never allowed to watch "Bambi" growing up.
Not sure about that saguaro, though... - November 7, 2008 at 11:55 AM
I'm w/ Robyn. The "r" is just retching. It's not a confusion b/t "your" and "you're" here.
I also saw "postcard" at first and wondered if it was another phone order, "...and the deer, like in the old postcard..." until I scrolled down and read it was supposed to be "you" and "bastard."
I must remember to stroll through the grocery bakery more often w/ a camera! ;)
-bg - November 7, 2008 at 12:16 PM
- loisgroat said...
I am deeply sorry that some of your readers have absolutely no grasp of sarcasm, irony or hyperbole, and therefore make comments that doubt your intelligence. Most of us understand your brilliance and wit. Please do not ever be tempted to dumb down your hilarious commentary to appeal to the masses. Thank You.
- November 7, 2008 at 12:16 PM
- CaliGirl9 said...
I hate to say it, but my stepdad would love a deer cake, even if it is really a wreck.
He used to be quite the outdoorsman in his youth.
I probably would not have called him an old bastard though ... - November 7, 2008 at 12:20 PM
- Mella said...
I don't feel the need for a cake that kills Bambi
- November 7, 2008 at 12:24 PM
I look at the first one and see, "F U" the f from the true and u from the antlers.
- November 7, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Whose old pastard? Yours, of course. <3
~Mimi - November 7, 2008 at 12:37 PM
- Abigail said...
My husband who is a firefighter and avid hunter will probably find this pretty darn funny!
- November 7, 2008 at 12:45 PM
- MaryO said...
I'm howling at the comments! So much to see and think about just on these two Wrecks!!
First, like several other Wreck Fans, I too saw "Postcard", then "Pastard" then made the leap to "Bastard" Ya gotta love it.
What creeps me out (also like many Wreck Fans) are the grinning, leering deer. These are DEFINITELY Stephen King deer - come for the hunters who killed them - with the flames of hell ... well never mind. I digress. In some ways the creepy trees (more like dead bean stalks) creep me out more!
As usual I am ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!! - November 7, 2008 at 12:46 PM
- The Honorable Mayor of Bethville said...
I read it "Happy birthday, you old postcard." How quaint.
- November 7, 2008 at 1:00 PM
- Unknown said...
This reminded me of the horrifying "deer caught in the forest fire" picture I saw a few years back
google it under search images and you'll see it - November 7, 2008 at 1:07 PM
- Dea said...
BWAHAHAHAA!!! That deer is freaking me OUT - looks possessed!!!! Of course, who wouldn't when roasting alive?? Oy....who thinks up these deco kits??
- November 7, 2008 at 1:25 PM
- The Creeper said...
See, I'm from one of the many parts of the country where deer hunting is, well, the be-all-end-all this time of year. It's the kind of place where the opening day of deer season is actually a school holiday. Yeah, it is. Really.
Anyhow, I knew that was a tree. And the fire isn't fire, it's brush/tall grass that was green in the summer but has since faded to a yellow-ish brown dead color that grass seems to go to. - November 7, 2008 at 1:30 PM
I don't really understand why anyone would give someone a burning deer cake for their birthday, even if they are a Pastard. But, what would have improved both cakes would be if they added fire to the deer's antlers since he is obviously in the center of the fire.
- November 7, 2008 at 1:38 PM
- Ms Ashley said...
Haha, I love the Evil Deer... Sent straight from the Depths of Hell apparently.
- November 7, 2008 at 1:45 PM
"your mother can't be with you anymore." omg, when blossom and the gang told me that i just about flipped. disney had just turned down my contract in 'dumbo', it was supposed to be pink DEER, not elephants in that psychedlic dream sequence and i was just sooo upset about that. losing mom was the last thing i needed. for years after that i rampaged in suburban neighbourhoods, tearing up landscaping and probably inspiring the low-paid bakery workers that woke in the wee dawn hours and saw me as they trudged out their doors to go to their jobs.... um.. faline, ... honey, is that you?????? oops, gotta go, i really have to get out of this rut.. losing my day job has really been the pits... faline???? MOM!!!!!!
- November 7, 2008 at 1:56 PM
- Aviatrix said...
I had to read through all the comments and study cake #2 before I could believe that cake #1 wasn't supposed to be a recreation of the pivotal scene in Bambi.
It could be worse, though. To emphasize that it's a hunting cake, Bambi's chest could be exploding in a burst of blood and bullets. I wouldn't speculate that such a cake could exist, except that after seeing the cake for te natural birthing centre, I realize there are no boundaries to cake taste. - November 7, 2008 at 2:24 PM
They are both horrifying.
- November 7, 2008 at 2:38 PM
The rabid-deer-on-fire is the best wreck ever!
- November 7, 2008 at 3:07 PM
I think everyone's waaaay off with the second cake. Clearly the cake recipient is not only an avid hunter, but also has an excellent relationship with his church. His pastor and good friend recently retired or moved, so the cake was sent to the birthday boy with the inscription:
"Happy Birthday! Your Old Pastor, D."
Please, please let me be right, because the alternative is just too mind boggling, even after reading this blog for several months! - November 7, 2008 at 3:16 PM
The second one looks pretty good to me, other than the "Pastard" part and the handwriting. It is clearly grass and an autumn tree. The first one, though - Wow. I love how the flames/grass climb all the way around the edges of the cake, like the whole thing is about to collapse in a giant fireball.
- November 7, 2008 at 3:17 PM
- Ruby2 said...
It's hunting season; that's why the deer cakes are proliferating.
http://www.geocities.com/ruby2andor/images/lj-10-2008/deercake.jpg - November 7, 2008 at 3:24 PM
- Kelsey said...
Lois beat me to the punch, but I would like to reiterate that at least a few of your readers can recognize sarcasm. Oh, Jen, your old Pastard. What will you come up with next?
- November 7, 2008 at 3:30 PM
- Unknown said...
I thought it said, "Happy birthday your old postcard!"
I thought the "your" was meant to be "you're". - November 7, 2008 at 3:34 PM
- Doody Mac said...
Scary on all counts!
How does one get "Your old Pastard" from "You Old Bastard???" AMAZING.
And the ONLY thing that keeps the 2nd one from looking like a forest fire (and only after examination) is the way the grass splits around the deer. First one - no such luck. - November 7, 2008 at 3:40 PM
I first thought it said "Happy Birthday, your old postcard."
Which makes about as much sense.les - November 7, 2008 at 4:09 PM
And was I the only one who read the inscription on the second cake to be 'Happy Birthday your old postcard' and trying to figure out what the heck THAT was supposed to mean??? - November 7, 2008 at 4:10 PM
Oh, lord. It took me until now to realize that wasn't SUPPOSED to be fire. LOLZ.
- November 7, 2008 at 4:12 PM
I don't think it is suppose to be fire but grass that has gone yellow and a tree with leaves that are turning color. The second one even has real leaves on it so you can see.
It looks exactly like a hunting scene to me. - November 7, 2008 at 4:16 PM
- Lily said...
the deer in the second one looks so much better, but why is he being burned? *sob*
lily - November 7, 2008 at 4:21 PM
See, the funny thing is that when I first looked at it, all I saw was "FU". And then I realized that that was a buck. It took me another couple of seconds to realize that was suppose to be a tree?
- November 7, 2008 at 4:40 PM
- Adrienne said...
The first thing I saw in the first one was F U
- November 7, 2008 at 5:31 PM
Maybe the cake giver was the "old bastard". That would explain the heart too. Like they signed it with a pet name. Maybe. But with the misspelling of bastard, I doubt it.
- November 7, 2008 at 5:41 PM
I laughed so hard I cried! Keep up the great work, Jen, and I'll go buy a huge box of Kleenex.
Rachel - November 7, 2008 at 5:48 PM
My son's birthday is Tuesday and there is a sick and twisted part of me that hopes his WALL•E cake is a hot mess. This is wrong, of course, as he's only going to be 6 and probably wouldn't find it nearly as hysterical as I would.
- November 7, 2008 at 5:54 PM
- Ghost Rider said...
This is like the vase/face picture. I pull up cake wrecks and see a smiling deer on fire. Do a double-take and see a deer in alien world's meadow (you know, on a planet where the sky is green and yellow and the tall grass is strangely thick and the trees are like post-modern art). I see both bambi flambe and alien deer.
The second one is just weird. I read it as "Your old, Pastard" Maybe someone is telling the deer he's old and they plan on burning him alive now that he's outlived his usefulness? - November 7, 2008 at 8:02 PM
Y'all have to start reading other people's comments before making your won... There's about 3 people who have already asked "Am I the only one who read it as 'your old postcard' first?". No, you are not the only one--if you had taken 2 minutes to check you would have known this.
I can't count how many people have pointed out that the cakes are supposed to show deer in tall autumn grass rather than in an inferno, as though no one else had already made this observation. YES. WE KNOW. - November 7, 2008 at 8:59 PM
I'm having a San Diego '07 flashback!
- November 7, 2008 at 9:55 PM
- The Chubby One said...
I would take great offense at being called a pastard. Was this a mistake or did the decorator have a problem with writing the word?
And is it just me or does the deer in the second one seem happier? - November 7, 2008 at 10:31 PM
- Hyena Overlord said...
Postard...someone who was a tard but is now not?
I dunno...I don't like cakes with eyes on them.
Or OT, ice cream cones filled with icing. - November 7, 2008 at 10:37 PM
- Epiphany said...
I am constantly amazed how often the word "you" is misspelled on the cakes that get featured. I mean...how difficult is it to spell a 3-letter word?!
- November 7, 2008 at 11:16 PM
I used to work as a grocery store bakery cake decorator. I have made that cake kit before. The deer is a plastic magnet. The brown lines are supposed to be a tree with fall leaves (done with icing, not sprinkles) and that is supposed to be tall dry grass. I don't have a photo as evidence, but my execution of the cake was actually very nice, well, nice for a deer cake. Here's a link to a site that sells the kit, along with a photo of the cake that decorators are supposed to copy:
http://www.basiccakes.com/Shop/cake-kits/deer-head-magnet-cake-kit-dhm-011.asp - November 7, 2008 at 11:20 PM
- E.A.D. said...
"You Old Postcard"? The heck is that supposed to mean??
- November 7, 2008 at 11:57 PM
- TB Tabby said...
The grass that looks like fire doesn't bother me as much as the sprinkles on the tree. Are those supposed to be leaves?! What tree has leaves that turn blue and white in autumn?!
- November 8, 2008 at 12:16 AM
I'm so glad I'm not the only one who saw the F U on the first cake.
No, FU! - November 8, 2008 at 12:25 AM
- Midnight Ramblings said...
Am I the only one who thinks it actually says "YOUR"? As in, "Happy Birthday Your old Pastard". Could it be saying something like "Happy Birthday! Love from Your Old Pastard" I know, it still makes no sense whatsoever. But I do think I see a definite R there at the end of that word.
- November 8, 2008 at 12:48 AM
. . . so even the people who sell the deer head magnet agree that the deer is supposed to be on fire?
You guys have to click that link. The ad shows a deer staring blankly out above "grass" that is blaze orange with sinuous red cores. FLAMES, FLAMES on the side of its FACE . . . - November 8, 2008 at 3:34 AM
Is it terrible that all I can manage to see on that first cake is F U???
- November 8, 2008 at 6:59 AM
Jessie, do y'all realize that messages are posted online in groups, that Jen or Mr Jen approve them before they are posted? So many times previous comments are *not* visible when another one is posted saying the same thing.
- November 8, 2008 at 7:32 AM
- searching_for_something said...
And who wouldnt want a scary red eyed deer on a cake??
- November 8, 2008 at 8:50 AM
- Ms Unreliable said...
What kind of pastard can't even spell you without putting an r on the end? Seriously?!
- November 8, 2008 at 9:02 AM
I have been checking back on these comments throughout the day and I can assure you, the comments I was referring to were definitely visible early enough for many of the repeat-information commentators.
- November 8, 2008 at 11:08 AM
I've mad this cake before. I hope that mine have never looked this bad.
- November 8, 2008 at 11:23 AM
Yes, as some have noted, it says:
Happy Birthday
[heart = love] your Old Pastard
Hence, a cake FROM the Pastard, not to to him. Mystery solved.
Next question: so who does the Pastard love? - November 8, 2008 at 11:28 AM
- Renee said...
I used to decorate cakes at a grocery store. The deer head is a magnet. The "fire" is actually supposed to be like prairie grass in the fall. This is how the cake is supposed to look:
I always hated making this cake. If you love frosting this is your cake! All that grass (or fire lol) is a lot of frosting. - November 8, 2008 at 12:21 PM
ROFL!!!!!!! What a tacky cake!!
- November 8, 2008 at 2:34 PM
I'm inclined to believe Jessie, who insisted "I can assure you, the comments I was referring to were definitely visible early enough for many of the repeat-information commentators."
That's just the nature of humanity.
"What I want to say is important, but I won't bother to first read what others have said."
Ah, the internet...gotta love it. - November 8, 2008 at 4:47 PM
- skankassbitch said...
The top one looks like it says F U.
love it. - November 8, 2008 at 5:28 PM
So... do those antlers look like chicken feet to anyone else? Just me? OK, then.
I see the FU in the top cake also. Hilarious. - November 8, 2008 at 7:50 PM
- JenP said...
I, honest to G-d, thought that Smokey The Bear had been replaced by some random deer and this was a cake advertising fire awareness.
How else can one possibly describe why a harmless deer is being engulfed by fire? In nice Thanksgiving colours. All packaged up for that fantastic Monday morning meeting with staff.
I'm horrified to think of the small children going up to the glass to smoosh their noses next to the cookies and cakes and seeing their new firewise friend being burnt like some 4th of July hotdog.
Rest in Peace Bambi. Rest in Peace. - November 8, 2008 at 10:00 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw the "F U" in the first cake. I'm shocked that only a few people noticed it. It's the only thing I can see every time I look at it!
- November 9, 2008 at 2:12 AM
The next time I buy a cake for anyone, for any reason, I want it to have "Happy birthday, your old postcard" written on it. This HAS to happen.
- November 9, 2008 at 2:51 PM
I must have done too many rebus puzzles as a child--I read it as "Happy Birthday, your "dear" old postard."
- November 9, 2008 at 3:14 PM
- Donna M. said...
The first dear cake, when I saw it I thought it said F U (The F being the tree, the U being the deer antlers)
- November 10, 2008 at 12:21 AM
- Jon said...
So is this where evil deer go after I run them over with my car?
Deer Hell? - November 10, 2008 at 8:20 AM
- alicia said...
i'm going to start calling everyone a pastard. it reminds me of a kind of mustardy bastard. which seems worse than just the regular kind of bastard.
(i got nothing.) - November 10, 2008 at 2:34 PM
- D. Marini said...
Yes, the deer's antlers look like chicken feet. Or like fat fingers with those black Halloween fake-nails attached.
I officially have The Willies. - November 10, 2008 at 3:20 PM
Did anyone else see "F U" on the original picture (the tree branches make the F, and the deer's horns form the U)? Are they trying to tell us something?
- November 10, 2008 at 5:27 PM
- Kanani said...
Pastard? Pastard? Hahahahahahahahaha!
- November 11, 2008 at 2:15 AM
I showed this to my co-worker, who is a hunter, and his remark was, "I can't help but think that the antlers look like Chernobyl chicken feet or something."
- November 11, 2008 at 12:58 PM
the first cake kind of at first glance looked like it says "F u" the F obviously in the shape of the sad tree/smoke stack area....and the antlers of the deer are kind of shaped like a U...well ok maybe my eyes just see what they want to see.
- November 12, 2008 at 6:31 PM
That first cake looks like it says, "F-U"!
- November 14, 2008 at 1:56 AM
- Unknown said...
I work at Baskin Robbins and the decorating company we go through has this available.
In the 4 years I've been decorating, I don't remember anyone actually ordering it. Surprised much? Haha
Adrian W. - November 23, 2008 at 12:51 AM
- Christa said...
ok so after talking to my husband he says we have this cake all wrong... he is a deer hunter and he says that it looks more like a tree on the left in autumn hence the multi colored sprinkles and dots of icing. That my also be why it's brown... and he says if you notice the "flames" are all yellowish in color...kind of like a wheat field where deer like to eat. I mean I will say if it is a wheat field shame on them for making it look like flames...but I think my husband might be right about this one.
- November 30, 2008 at 9:22 AM
haha, what i don't understand is... one deer burning in a forest fire on a cake is pretty hilarious and weird, but why are there two?? is "deer burning in a fire with a tree on the left" a commonly requested cake theme for some reason...?
- December 5, 2008 at 7:22 PM
The first cake... disturbs me on many levels. Not only is the deer on fire, but the deer is also SMIRKING, like a demon rising from hell-fire...
*shudder* no amount of ash-sprinkles could make that cake acceptable
and the second cake... it looks to me like it says "your old pastard"
Which leads me to believe that the heart is sarcastic.
do these cakes make anyone else think of that scene from the lion king, where the savanna is on fire?? ...no? - December 7, 2008 at 9:22 PM
Anyone notice how on the first one it is shaped oddly like "F U" ??? interesting...
- December 29, 2008 at 6:15 PM
- Michele said...
I have a site that's named perfect for this cake. www.flamingdeer.com is my site - Flaming Deer Designs is the name. Google automatically sends me anything with Flaming Deer in the name which is how I was directed here. Nice site, humorous. =)
- January 15, 2009 at 7:07 PM
- Unknown said...
I think it's actually supposed to be a deer and a tree in a field of wheat or grass.
- January 17, 2009 at 12:04 PM
- QTPi said...
Wait, look. It actually says Your Old Pastard. Maybe it was from your old Pastor. Maybe he was trying to tell you something. It is a cake with an important message from God. "your going to rot in hell with a crazed deer on your birthday." or "Satan is a deer, beware" Either way Happy Birthday!
- January 22, 2009 at 2:42 PM
I saw the first cake on "Bridezillas." It was for a rehearsal dinner in a country themed wedding. Naturally, my first thought was "Is that deer on fire?"
- February 8, 2009 at 9:12 PM
Wow yummy.. I enjoy reading this, and I almost hungry for now...
- March 23, 2009 at 12:20 AM
- Real Estate For Sale said...
Looks delicious! Just found your blog through Google, and I have to say I thoroughly enjoy it.
- April 14, 2009 at 8:54 PM
- Criminal Background Check said...
Thanks for a nice and informative site. Somehow I was drawn to reading the post and I enjoyed a lot. Have a nice day!
- April 20, 2009 at 9:29 AM
- Missy said...
i was lucky enough to spy this wreck today at walmart. i was dragging my husband across the store, "come here! you gotta see the flaming deer!" the version i saw had some lovely black mixed in with the flames.. i'm tempted to go back with my camera, but i'm guessing you've seen more since then!
-missy in mississippi - May 17, 2009 at 12:24 AM
- Luvs2lol said...
Haha I read it as postcard too!
"I hate you! You're such a postcard!"
XD - December 3, 2009 at 9:52 PM
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Tension headaches are the most common type of headache. The pain usually spreads throughout the head so that sufferers feel like they're wearing a tight band. Doctors divide tension headaches into two types — episodic and chronic. The episodic variety lasts from half an hour to a week, and recurs
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subset: commoncrawl


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text:
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Well, Cake IS My Drug of Choice...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Before I address this cake, I would like to state a few things for the record:
1) My mother reads this blog. (Hi, Mom!)
2) I have never, ever, even remotely considered the possibility of so much as looking at a piece of drug paraphernalia. Ever. (Hi, Mom!)
So my question is this, Stephanie A.: Does a crack pipe really look like a coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows? 'Cuz I always pictured something a little edgier, like that thing the caterpillar is smoking in Alice in Wonderland*.
*Yes, Disney movies are my only base of reference for drugs. Heck, it was years before I figured out smoking doesn't turn people into donkeys. (Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)
130 comments | Post a Comment
maybe thats supposed to be fire on the top?! Where do people come up with these ideas?! LOL
- April 22, 2009 at 9:27 AM
- Melissa said...
My thought process in response to this cake was very similar to yours. It's, er, interesting ... but I have no basis from which to say whether it's an accurate depiction.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:29 AM
- Tammy said...
My only comment is those look like bloody sperm in a pot of marshmallows cooking to make some seriously freakish rice krisy treats. Thank goodness they wrote crack head-I would have been really confused, heck I think I still am...
- April 22, 2009 at 9:32 AM
- Christina said...
Ewww... it looks like an army of red semen attacking a field of cotton balls.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:33 AM
- Ellen said...
Love the smoking "crack." Yes, I realize that the pun is the lowest form or humor.
When I first saw the photo, I thought that it was a measuring cup, with crushed Starlight mints in it. Until I read the note.
Funny, in a strange, twisted kind of way. - April 22, 2009 at 9:33 AM
- Woof said...
- April 22, 2009 at 9:33 AM
- Eunice said...
I'd say the red looks less like blood and more like "swimmers."
And the thing The Caterpillar smokes is called a hookah. - April 22, 2009 at 9:33 AM
- Kim said...
My question is just... WHY?
Why would you do this? - April 22, 2009 at 9:35 AM
- Baking and Mistaking said...
Hmmm now I do want to know what a crack pipe looks like. (Hi Mom!)
- April 22, 2009 at 9:36 AM
- TB Tabby said...
If you think puns are the lowest form of humor, you haven't watched Mind of Mencia.
As for the cake...it looks like it's filled with freshly-pulled teeth. - April 22, 2009 at 9:36 AM
- Alison said...
What a cute, fluffy crack pipe! If Disney did do a ghetto princess movie, I'll bet this is what they'd look like.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:38 AM
- Tracy O said...
IF you can call that red stuff fire (which is a stretch IMHO), then this actually looks a little like my bunsen burner in the lab. Can't really say that's a good thing, though.
Tracy O - April 22, 2009 at 9:40 AM
- amandyanderson said...
Here are some pictures of actual crack pipes...looks nothing like that though? odd....and hilarious :)
- April 22, 2009 at 9:40 AM
....And the hookah is for tabacco not crack.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:40 AM
As the other posters pointed out it looks like bloody...umm...something. I'd see a doctor if I were them.
And Jen, don't feel too bad. I think they showed us a crack pipe in elementary school as part of the infamous DARE program, and I don't really recall it looking like this.
I DID, however, find a bong stuffed in the cushions of a couch that my roomie and I bought at Good Will during grad school. She turned it into a flower vase. o_O - April 22, 2009 at 9:40 AM
- amandyanderson said...
Here are some pictures of actual crack pipes...looks nothing like that cake, but that makes it MORE hilarious!! :)
http://photobucket.com/images/crack%20pipe/ - April 22, 2009 at 9:41 AM
- Beki - TheRustedChain said...
I thought coffee mug too.
And like you, Disney movies are about my only exposure to drug references.
Ahhh, innocence is bliss! - April 22, 2009 at 9:41 AM
I don't get why it looks like a bunch of eggs being fertilized by little red spermies. I've seen Meet the Parents, I've seen Judd Apatow movies - they don't look quite like this.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:44 AM
It's not accurate in the least. Though people will smoke crack out of most anything, the usual crack pipe doesn't look like a white corncob pipe like this cake. They are often just glass rods.
Also, I am fairly sure that IS supposed to be fire but too is inaccurate. Crack doesn't really look anything like that when it burns.
Obviously the cake decorator has never seen a crack pipe either, or just chose to make a really silly and unoffensive version.
P.S. I don't smoke crack. Or anything else. - April 22, 2009 at 9:44 AM
- Smoochiefrog said...
Can you imagine how embarrassing the recipient must have been? Well, unless she actually was high on crack. Oh my.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Hyla said...
I was hoping for some Earthy Cakes for Earth Day :(
- April 22, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- Maddy said...
That is probably one of the craziest cakes yet. I'm with milk and cookeez!
Cheers - April 22, 2009 at 9:48 AM
- piecemeal people said...
Coffee cup filled with bloody mini-marshmallows. Perfect, perfect description, because I was staring at this and trying like hell to make the "crackhead" connection.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:57 AM
- XOXO said...
One of the reasons I fell in love with my husband was that the Caterpillar was / is his favorite Disney character. He keeps a miniature one next to our very real (and used by someone!) Hookah.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:58 AM
I am so glad I'm not the only one who thought the red blobs looked like sperm. It makes me feel like I have company in my lonely little gutter.
- April 22, 2009 at 9:58 AM
Pleased to know the decorator didn't know what a crack pipe looks like either.
Maybe the parents of the hitler kid ordered this for their birthday. - April 22, 2009 at 9:59 AM
- LadyofAvalon56 said...
Not that I've ever seen a crackpipe (short of watching COPS and the like on tv) but I'm with everyone else..looks like bloody semen attacking some marshmallow-like eggs in a weird pot.
Heh..I said "pot". - April 22, 2009 at 10:00 AM
- Dorci said...
I'm happy to say I have no idea if that's a realistic depiction or not. Looks like they've gone camping and are making a big ol' batch of marshmallows for the s'mores. And maybe somebody cut their hand....and...oh I don't know. Odd the lives some people lead.....
- April 22, 2009 at 10:01 AM
- Bibi said...
Despite Addie's interest in extra-curriculars, I feel sad for her that she is not being honored for being someones "favorite anything else". Perhaps she plays the mandolin, tells a joke well, or maybe something simple like having a nice smile.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:01 AM
- Brent said...
At first I thought this was supposed to represent a frying pan with brains being cooked in them...
You know, from the "This is your brain on drugs" PSA's from way back when - April 22, 2009 at 10:02 AM
- newsjunkie said...
I used to work as a Public Defender in a big city, and that definitely doesn't look like any crack pipe I've ever seen. Unless they've changed drastically in the past 10 years since I switched my line of work...
- April 22, 2009 at 10:03 AM
- HorribleLicensePlates said...
Are crack heads really intrested in cake?
- April 22, 2009 at 10:04 AM
- Glory von Hathor said...
Because the wreckorator thought using tin foil wouldn't be classy enough.
And now for the rest of the day I'll be singing to myself
"Are you going to strawberry sperm?
Parsley Sage, Rosemary and Thyme..."
Great. - April 22, 2009 at 10:04 AM
- Knott in Bots said...
When I saw the title I thought you had come across this little gem: Brass Eye - Cake(Note: some swearing)
More information Brass Eye on Wikipedia.
Me, I'm high on Cake Wrecks. - April 22, 2009 at 10:15 AM
- Sarah - Kala said...
I am willing to put out there that I do not know what a crack pipe looks like, but I have seen (not used; hello, mum!) a hookah (Alice in Wonderland) and I have seen, handled, and used a bong for the green leafy stuff (waaaaay back when; yeah, mum, I learned my lesson). I also used a brass pipe for said green leafy stuff. This was back in the 80's (mum, you know I am a good girl now -). That "cake" . . . uff da! Looks like a cake maker is reaching . . . and failing
- April 22, 2009 at 10:18 AM
- Natalie said...
Nothing says "delicious" like a simmering pot of marshmallows and blood. MMMMMM.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:22 AM
- Robin said...
I thought hookahs were for smoking opium...
Anyway, as a school librarian (middle school health class drug report projects are common) I can fairly certainly say that is NOT what a crack pipe or cooker looks like.
But, to each his own. Maybe this is the 'nightmare' version? - April 22, 2009 at 10:22 AM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
Your commentary is so hysterical, I can't add anything. Plus, my drug knowledge is even less than yours.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:27 AM
- Half Assed Kitchen said...
A crack pipe cake...when do we get to see the bong?
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com) - April 22, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Oh, I feel a Lewis Carroll lecture coming on. I'll try to restrain myself, since this isn't actually an Alice cake. (Ooh, Jen, do you have any of those? I bet the Cheshire Cat can be very wrecky.)
But yes, as others have said, the Caterpillar is smoking a hookah.
The original Sir John Tenniel Caterpillar:
Why does everyone think of Disney's Alice? Pah. - April 22, 2009 at 10:31 AM
They must have thought a crack pipe was like a corn-cob pipe. I wonder what that filling is? Apart from crack, that is. . .
I did something like this for my brother's 15th birthday once as a hilarious joke. No one thought it was funny. - April 22, 2009 at 10:35 AM
crack pipes are most often a straight, hollow tube with a stretched Brillo pad pulled through (as a filter). that would be a boring cake. they SHOULD have made like, an ice cream scoop with white gel looking substance. that's more what crack looks like.
NOW YOU KNOW! - April 22, 2009 at 10:40 AM
- Clare said...
Earth Day Cakes please!!!
Not that bloody sperm chowing down marshmallows isn't entertaining, but today is a very important day.
We need some tree cakes with Keebler elves, or a little planet Earth as a marble from MIB, or .. . ... something!
Go Green!!
VW: enslop. "The sperm we enslopped with the marshmallows for observation." - April 22, 2009 at 10:43 AM
@Elyse - there's worse things they could think of than the Disney Alice. They could think of Lewis Carroll's...umm..questionable tastes in...well heck, the fact that he fancied little boys.
I'd say making the Disney connection is the better of the two! - April 22, 2009 at 10:43 AM
That may actually be the cooking spoon more than the pipe, too.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:44 AM
- Leslie said...
If you leave of the red, you'd get what it looks like when I try to warm milk on the stove... I always overflow it! I thought that's what it was. I'm SOOO glad you told me it was drugs! Crack kills...in this case, it killed the cake!
- April 22, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- The Ferber Family said...
hahahaha! that made my day! my name is addie... but i promise i'm NOT a crackhead :o)
- April 22, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- BEAT said...
I was thinking popcorn upon first sight.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:52 AM
- texaslauren77 said...
I'm always asking people if they are on crack when they say or do something crazy. Maybe I should ask one of them if this is what a crack pipe looks like.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:54 AM
Ummm, does anyone else find it alarming that they can reference DISNEY for their drug information?? LMAO.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:55 AM
I also like that the cake is dedicated to the "favorite" crackhead Addie. Like the person knows tons of crackheads but Addie is certainly the favorite!
- April 22, 2009 at 10:59 AM
Uh, a hookah is not a crack pipe. Equating a hookah with a crack pipe is worse than the people who assume that I'm a pot head just because I like to kick back with some flavored tobacco now and then.
- April 22, 2009 at 11:21 AM
- Fraulein Furioso said...
That's pretty hilarious. I thought it was a starlight mint too at first. Have you found any bong cakes yet?
- April 22, 2009 at 11:21 AM
- afterthoughtcomposer said...
...doesn't crack come in a little plastic baggy? or in a line on the coffee table? MY only reference for drugs is on the movies, quite obviously.
If the person hadn't referenced a 'crack-head' on the foil I would've been guessing for a very, very long time. Maybe you should get people to send in *good* examples of crack-pipe cakes. We could say it was educational. - April 22, 2009 at 11:22 AM
- Dani said...
I bet the person who made this cake didn't even know what a crack pipe looks like... Come on... give the person a break they did the best they could. :) lol
- April 22, 2009 at 11:31 AM
- Kami said...
I love reading the comments. I'm just as confused as everyone else ... and I was wondering ... would a professional cake decorator actually make a drug cake?! Wowza!
I still think it looks like a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows and really poorly made red sprinkles (the thought of red sperm in my hot chocolate is ... creepy ...) - April 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM
@ Leslie:
Wow, I am going to sound like a witch. But I gotta respond to that.
No one's EVER accused Lewis Carroll of liking little boys - he's been accused of liking little GIRLS, such as Alice Liddell, the inspiration for Alice in Wonderland.
But it isn't proven - some historians claim that his family invented a Victorian-approved myth of him as a gentle man who preferred the company of children to that of adults - to cover up the fact that he scandalously had a lot of lady-friends. And of course they didn't think that 150 years later he'd be famous for his supposed pedophilia. - April 22, 2009 at 11:36 AM
- Rita said...
Weeeell, at least if "Addie" really is a crackhead, cake would be reasonably easy to chew without teeth. :)
- April 22, 2009 at 11:43 AM
- kayeffdee said...
It looks MUCH more like a cooker than anything else.
Basically a little tiny bottle cap shaped object that is used to heat drug before they're injected, with a needle.
Many people use a spoon, but the mini-cookers are becoming more popular. - April 22, 2009 at 11:48 AM
- Pilgrim said...
Doesn't crack make you lose your appetite? How much does a crackhead WANT cake?
This cake is too scary to eat.
And NOW I've got to go Google what a crackpipe looks like, 'cuz I'm sure this cake is not an accurate depiction of one. - April 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM
- kayeffdee said...
and to add to my last comment;
that is what they look like. - April 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM
- jackie31337 said...
I've never seen a crack pipe either, but somehow I don't think this is what they look like.
- April 22, 2009 at 11:58 AM
I thought it was a hammer and a brain - like a "cracked head". I really have no frame of reference here do I?
- April 22, 2009 at 12:01 PM
- Miss Kolleen said...
my thought was that it was someone actually cooking teh cocaine into freebase crack form... which you do on a stove-- not that i smoke crack, nor have i ever, but unfortunately know a lot about the subject of drugs :(
- April 22, 2009 at 12:14 PM
I'm not a crack smoker, and neither were any of my school (HS and college) friends/acquaintances. But we used to call each other "crackhead" and say "s/he's on crack" or "I'm [not] on crack" to explain our zaniness....maybe Addie just has funny friends?
Word verification: onsist -- as in, "I onsist you quit smoking crack, Addie. It's not good for you." - April 22, 2009 at 12:15 PM
- Unknown said...
Bloody marshmallows! That's what the brains turn to in people that do crack. LOL
- April 22, 2009 at 12:24 PM
- Wild Cakes said...
well if we are going to talk about hookah smoking caterpillars, I would be remiss not to mention the fabulous Alice in Wonderland cake that (one of my fave bloggers) Becky ordered for her kid's birthday (yes, complete with the caterpillar... really!!)
http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=545 - April 22, 2009 at 12:34 PM
- StuffCooksWant said...
You people are funny!! These cakes are funny! Happy Earth Day!
I'm trying to be nice today. Isn't my comment nice? Although I did just tell this dirtbag at the gym to shut his piehole... but I'm nice for the whole rest of the day. Even if this cake begs for a bit of sarcastic humor. I won't. - April 22, 2009 at 12:35 PM
- Wendy said...
What the caterpillar smokes in Alice in Wonderland is called a hookah and is not used to smoke drugs. It's actually used to smoke a kind of tobacco. Much healthier for you to smoke than cigarettes, less chemical additives (if any at all) and much smoother since the smoke is filtered through water. The tobacco comes in all sorts of flavors like strawberry and blueberry, etc. I use one all the time, it's delicious.
- April 22, 2009 at 12:36 PM
- Melissa (& Billy) said...
.......Nope. No words for how WRONG this is.
Who the heck DOES this sort of thing? A very, very tasteless joke. - April 22, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Fine. We're all agreed that this looks nothing like a real crack pipe, and that it's ugly and unappetizing.
What I can't get over is the idea of sending someone a cake to celebrate their crack addiction. This has to be some kind of personal joke, but it takes tasteless vulgarity to a new low (is it the same baker who's been making v-day cakes?) - April 22, 2009 at 12:44 PM
Thank you Elyse for coming to the defense of Lewis Carroll, who has never been proven to be a pedophile. His relationship with Alice Liddell was said to be that of a father and daughter and that, yes, he adored her and wrote Alice in wonderland as his tribute to her.
As for the Crack cake....since when do we CELEBRATE someone doing crack?????
The whole idea of giving someone a cake to celebrate drug use is so totally warped.
WV: amismam - what the woman said when she emerged from the dentists chair to find her child had torn up the waiting room. ( Or... wait maybe that should be amnotismam) hee! hee! - April 22, 2009 at 12:48 PM
- Kae said...
I'm glad that Elyse cleared up the Lewis Carroll history. Sometimes I think Freud did us more harm than good by making us not only second-guess everything we do but making it possible for an entire subsection of academics to exist in which we can claim, postmortem and without solid evidence, that dead celebrities were pedophiles, drug-addled, self-loathing, suicidal...
*cough* Sorry. Last two weeks of the semester in grad school. I'm having issues. That said...umm...crappy cake. - April 22, 2009 at 12:52 PM
- Diane - DB Impressions said...
I'm not sure what a crack pipe looks like, but hey....at least it doesn't have one of those terrible faces on it, or a pregnant belly-gone-bad, or something...
- April 22, 2009 at 1:06 PM
- Princess Danell said...
I am with you. No drug references outside Disney and scared straight school programs .Booyah! Love it!
- April 22, 2009 at 1:07 PM
The title of this post made me think you were going to talk about this cake: http://www.nibbledish.com/people/j6tran/recipes/tie-dyed-cake and I was all set to point out that it's not professional. But the tie-dyed-cake is much better than this wreck. I should never have assumed!
- April 22, 2009 at 1:18 PM
- Miranda said...
Neither a crack pipe nor a glass piece for "green vegetables" nor a bong nor a...
No. No type of smoking equipment looks like that, take it from me. - April 22, 2009 at 1:25 PM
If it WAS a crack pipe, it would have to be for Frosty the Snowman. Although his pipe is a corncob, perhaps it has a white crack dust film on it?!
It's a really big mug of hot chocolate, with a handle, with lots 'o whipped cream and a smattering of blood from a bloody nose produced from intense amounts of steam from such a large cup of steamin' hot chocolate. Besides those guesses, I haven't the faintest idea what the hell it's supposed to be! - April 22, 2009 at 1:48 PM
- My name is Michelle. said...
The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale. I like to think that I was a pretty good kid, but maybe I was scared to turn into a donkey.
- April 22, 2009 at 1:53 PM
- Tabitha (From Single to Married) said...
Ha!! I'm with you on that - the no smoking sign part that is. I too, have no idea what a pipe would look like nor do I want to know. I'm guessing that the cake designer didn't know either. :)
- April 22, 2009 at 1:55 PM
- highonfumes said...
i am a recovering addict and i have to say...the only thing i love more than cake is crack. *sigh*
- April 22, 2009 at 1:59 PM
- Tamara said...
I too thought it was a hammer and head/brain that was being cracked.
Maybe the recipient is always making jokes and this was a pun on crack head. (hammer/head) - April 22, 2009 at 2:15 PM
- Mallory said...
I had no idea that so many cw readers were also hookah smokers. Me too!
That cake is too wrecky for me to even comment on it. - April 22, 2009 at 2:16 PM
My first thought was that it's crack cooking on the stove. In a pot. I've been told they mix cocaine with baking soda (and water? Not sure) over heat on the stove & cook it down.
I like how everyone is quick to deny their association with any sort of drug use ;)....Despite my partyin' days several years back, I've never smoked or cooked crack but I've spent enough time in bad parts of town to know what a crack den smells like (not as bad as a meth lab, but they do stink if you're within 100 yards of one).
This isn't a crack pipe. A bubbling pot of cooking crack (and yes, bloody sperm...I see it too) THAT I would believe. - April 22, 2009 at 2:17 PM
- Kat said...
Whoa. You know, Disney movies poison the soul. Just thought you'd want to know that fact. Besides, they also depict drug-slurpin' caterpillars. No wonder I thought that caterpillars were big and scary.
(Hi, Mom!!) ^^u - April 22, 2009 at 2:21 PM
I hope Addie's family members either weren't at the birthday celebration or that they already knew about her habit LOL. Heck, they probably bought the cake....
- April 22, 2009 at 2:21 PM
- Jen said...
my five year old son, said it looks like a pan with eyeballs in it. my knowledge of crack pipes is minimal.. and that is a good thing. some things i would rather not know about.
- April 22, 2009 at 2:26 PM
- Mella said...
my crack experience comes from watching David Fisher being tortured on Six Feet Under and I don't think that qualifies me to critic the maker
- April 22, 2009 at 3:12 PM
- K2nSF said...
Hi, Jen's Mom!
- April 22, 2009 at 3:26 PM
i thought it was hot chocolate at first, too!
- April 22, 2009 at 3:44 PM
- the_exile said...
I had to laugh at Cake being your drug of choice. A UK TV show did a complicated spoof about a drug called 'cake' "It's a made up drug - people make it in their kitchens...etc." In the end a question was asked about it in Parliament by a well-meaning but naive MP.
- April 22, 2009 at 3:49 PM
- Hyena Overlord said...
(Although when the "no smoking" sign is present, it does turn them into jackasses. Booyah! Up high! Haha!)
*LMAO* ack almost choked to death oh a grape at booyah!
Cake is ick. Wreckerator is a ass.
Hi Mom!
wv...pacedues. What marathon runners pay in order to be allowed to run. - April 22, 2009 at 4:00 PM
- Jodith said...
I have to agree with Nichole, the little pink things looked like sperm to me.
And having worked in the emergency medical field, I've seen more than one crack pipe over the years. Looks nothing like a white, corncob pipe. Really, couldn't they at least google crack pipe? - April 22, 2009 at 4:11 PM
- Chatty Cathy said...
Right.On. to the jackasses comment! Truer words have never been spoken.
- April 22, 2009 at 4:29 PM
- green said...
You can smoke many things in a hookah. The most prevalent thing in the United States (especially in Indian restaurants) is to smoke Tobacco or shisha (as the U.S. doesn't consider the nicotine in Tobacco a dangerous enough drug).
So, Mr. Caterpillar wasn't necessarily doing any illegal drugs. This cake, on the other hand, should be illegal in its own right. It doesn't even impress me as paraphernalia.
By the way, Go Green!!! I love this day. - April 22, 2009 at 4:30 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Michelle said...
"The donkey thing terrified me. It was the only movie that really scared me with all those naughty kids and that scary whale."
Yeah---that was Pinocchio. Disney's. (Love the cricket, by Jiminy!)
The original was a book by Carlo Collodi, written in 1883. Guess they didn't have flicks back then. Google it and you'll see some really weird illustrations. Maybe Collodi was on crack.
((Slander!)) - April 22, 2009 at 4:32 PM
- Mel said...
What's with the red sperm, though?
- April 22, 2009 at 5:19 PM
Who does this???
Did the creator say "gee, I really love my friend, how do I express it? Roses...nah. Cute carrots with babies riding on them? Nah.
I know - a crack pipe that looks like an inflatable hammer covered in marshmallows and blood! That's it!! This cake is going to rock (pun intended) - April 22, 2009 at 6:08 PM
I've never actually smoked it myself, blech, but have seen people at concerts... and yes, that is far from what it looks like.
And a hookah would be used for tobacco or marijuana... a crack head would probably sell the thing to buy more crack.
However, were the cake iced in chocolate frosting and the center filled with different shades of chocolate shavings and bits of cherries, it would look kinda like a smoking pipe :-) ...elementary my dear Watson! - April 22, 2009 at 7:09 PM
Oh man, they so botched that Crack pipe! What a cake wreck! Wait a second... is this really the approach we should be taking with the "biggest crackhead" cake?
I agree that it looks like a pot o' bubblin' devil sperm, but it seems like it would be more off-putting if they said to the baker, "Crack Pipe" and they nailed it, i.e. a giant glass tube with some brillo stuffed in it.
I love the "Hookah" concept of crack. Homeless people, day traders, Entertainment executives and other degenerates lounging around elaborate water pipes filled with crack.
It may come as a suprise to know that it's hard to set up an elaborate smoking device in your cardboard box. I mean, we aren't talking about some erudite space-drug from an episode of Star Trek; it's gross dirty crack.
I read a news clip about this company that was selling little roses in glass tubes. The rose was made of some metal mesh and people were buying them, pealing the tinfoil off the ends and snapping off the "stem" - instant crack pipe. Not a great shape for a cake IMHO, a jelly roll, maybe. - April 22, 2009 at 7:34 PM
- Rocket Ma'am said...
what's with the little red sperm all over it?!?!?!
- April 22, 2009 at 9:11 PM
- Mikki said...
You know, I don't often comment, but this is one of my favorite blogs of all time. As a result of that love, I've given you an award. I realize you probably won't acknowledge it, but I thought I'd let you know and hope for at lease a little happiness!
- April 22, 2009 at 9:21 PM
- Donna M. said...
It looks like a bowl of red sperm attacking giant white ovums.
- April 22, 2009 at 10:07 PM
- Jennifer said...
Well, I can honestly tell you that until I was 25 or 26, I didn't know that "pot" and "marijuana" were the same thing.
Yeah. I'm big into drugs. lol - April 22, 2009 at 10:10 PM
At least the cake isn't dedicated to My *Least* Favorite Crack Addict!
- April 22, 2009 at 10:17 PM
- CrazyMom said...
Looks more like a fondue pot with the handle a little too low to me...
- April 22, 2009 at 11:03 PM
- Unknown said...
Okay, I read through the various comments and had to add my two cents... My degree is in criminal justice and throughout my studies I was always fascinated by drugs, why people used them and such.
I all actuality, the preferred for of "crack pipe" (at least while I was still in school--and verified by instructor who was former DEA Agent) is for an individual to drink a can of soda pop with their lunch, crush one side of the can kind of flat, poke a hole or a few holes in the flat part, rest the "crack" rock on the flat side, use the opening on the top part of the can to inhale from, use a lighter to "heat or ignite" the "crack" and breathe in the smoke that comes into the can. That way when you are done, you can put your crack rock back into a container to carry with you and dispose of your "Pipe". Easy, peasy...
As for how it is made from cocaine, it's a whole chemistry thing, which you might could get from the cake, but it is totally twisted...
I too joke about being on crack when my brain doesn't function correctly, or I make some kind of faux pas, but in all reality I shouldn't do this, as being addicted to crack is not a laughing matter.
So I kind of find this a little distasteful (pun intended) but also inaccurate. - April 22, 2009 at 11:32 PM
- Little Lovables said...
and I think the confusion of Lewis Carroll liking little boys was probably thinking of J.M Barrie, the author of Peter Pan (though that is also a rumor and know known to be factual). - April 22, 2009 at 11:51 PM
- ::poltergasm:: said...
anyone who has had the unfortunate luck to have been attached to an overdoer of les substances--if it wasnt for bad luck i'd have no luck @all--knows there are MANY different little craft projects one can create in order to imbibe substances of choisir. feh. feh.
otoh, the babies on carrots bit is just some sort of postmodern remake of a victorian motif i doubt the bakers of baby carrot baby riders know exist--ur-babies riding upon ur-grasshopper--these were common brooch figurals about a century ago. the weirdest thing there is the probable lack of the bakers' foreknowledge. it's positively jungian, almost archetypal. - April 23, 2009 at 12:36 AM
- Saucy said...
You make some wild cakes! Why would anyone order... that?
- April 23, 2009 at 1:57 AM
- Mad Izatie said...
Google it, you'll get alot of references.
First impression, the cake looks like a skillet of some sort to me. :P - April 23, 2009 at 2:00 AM
Hookah's are for smoking flavored tobacco (and that's what my husband and I use them for). They are sometimes used for drugs but I am pretty sure that wasn't their intended purpose.
- April 23, 2009 at 2:26 AM
I would like to tell you that the thing the caterpillar i Alice is smoking, is a water pipe. They can mostly be found in the middle east, and are totally legal. It´s kind of like having a drink after dinner. My sister has one at home that she bought in Thailand.
That cake does not look like a crack pipe. AT ALL. - April 23, 2009 at 6:08 AM
Yeah, I thought it was supposed to be a cooker too. I didn't even think about it being a crack pipe, but most of the ones I've seen are pyrex tubes. It's probably hard to make a clear cake.
- April 23, 2009 at 9:14 AM
Okay, I just have to comment on everyone who is taking this literally - as if there were actually a cake to celebrate a crack addiction. No, I'm quite certain this is satyre. My sister-in-law lovingly calls my husband "crack baby." It's just a joke...his mom probably doesn't even know what crack is (except in the context of a plumber's ass).
Though at first I wondered what the bottom part was sticking out of a lovely mug of peppermint hot cocoa.... - April 23, 2009 at 12:03 PM
- Christa said...
don't feel bad, I used to just nod during drug awareness week in high school when they talked about certain drugs because I had no idea what they were talking about. I still to this day will hear certain things and I'm like "huh?" But my momma says that's a good thing.
- April 23, 2009 at 6:51 PM
actually, in Alice in Wonderland, the caterpillar is smoking a Hookah.
- April 23, 2009 at 9:02 PM
Not sure if someone's posted this yet but here's cake, the new killer drug from prague
http://tinyurl.com/24nwfm - April 23, 2009 at 9:14 PM
The caterpillar was smoking a hooka- a tobacco water pipe from the middle east.
- April 23, 2009 at 10:29 PM
- fuquinay said...
What a deprived childhood I had! Though I had done nearly every drug in my misspent youth, how had I never seen that Disney clip?
- April 24, 2009 at 6:26 AM
Okay for all those who want to defend the caterpillar in Alice in wonderland as smoking a Hookah ( A water pipe with tobacco - not marijuana) lets at least acknowledge that the character of the caterpillar was MEANT to appear abit , shall we say, um....STONED! While still keeping it (*ahem*) "kid friendly"!
So Disney, sanitized it a SMALL amount with a Hookah, the implication was still there that the Caterpillar was doing drugs. Read the original Alice in Wonderland. The implications are very clear. - April 24, 2009 at 10:23 AM
- Wehaf said...
This cake cracks me up!
(I can't believe nobody else whent there yet!) - April 24, 2009 at 1:44 PM
- Sylvia said...
I would like to point out an important thing for understanding this cake.
In groups where crack is never used, usually, rich college-bound teenagers, jokes about "stop smoking crack" and "you're a crackhead" are VERY common- simply because of how ludicrous it is that these people would EVER even TOUCH the ghetto-stigmatized stuff (these same kids view alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana as okay, in some cases, they even use cocaine- but not CRACK, that's a POOR PERSON's drug!)
So this cake was probably part of one of those elaborate jokes. "Crackhead" is a huge punchline among these people. A result of years of anti-drug PSA's becoming funny and, of course, a complete separation from the groups of people who actually do deal and get addicted to really awfully addictive drugs.
I know because I was a straight-edge who went to high school with wealthy kids like these, then realized an absence of these jokes when I went to a state school and met people who went to "worse" high schools where some people actually WERE doing crack- for them crack was not a punchline, but a really scary thing that actually happened to people they knew.
It's all about class, people...and remember, the problems of poor people are funny!
-A sociology minor - April 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM
- Susie said...
Well, my son thinks it looks like a hair dryer. Maybe one of those little ones you find bolted to the wall in a hotel room?
I thought it was white saucepan full of boiling starlight mints.
But why in the world would you make a cake to celebrate being a crackhead? - April 24, 2009 at 4:41 PM
- Jen said...
That is SUPER funny!
- April 24, 2009 at 11:35 PM
- saratonin said...
For the record, smoking a Hookah (like the catterpillar in Alice), while worse for you than smoking cigarettes, isn't quite as bad as crack. So I'm gonna say you're very naive when it comes to drugs.
- April 25, 2009 at 11:34 PM
Just to muddy the waters further, fanfiction that is over-the-top bizarre, out of character, and (hopefully) entirely comedic and not to be taken seriously, is called 'crackfic.' Writers thereof are called crack!dealers and avid readers of same are crack!addicts.
So, maybe she's just into parodies? (If so, the hysterically bad depiction of a crack pipe becomes remarkably apt!)
~drac - April 26, 2009 at 2:42 AM
- Rebecca Jane said...
sitting at this tiresome temp job, this site has officially made me snorkle (chuckle, snort, and spray, FYI) my coffee all over myself. It was delightful.
- July 20, 2009 at 3:31 PM
I'm pretty sure there is some drug that requires boiling...seem to remember a pic of someone with a frothing saucepan. Meth maybe?
- September 23, 2009 at 5:13 AM
- Cupcakes Lady said...
Are crack heads really interested in cake? Maybe, they seem to like sugary treats. xx
- October 13, 2010 at 11:40 AM
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About York Atlas York Atlas is an online directory that allows users to search for information about individuals and organizational units associated with York University. Who is eligibleThe York Atlas database includes the following.
Data included Employees and associated personnel are identified in York Atlas by individual names, email addresses and department affiliation. Other employee data includes job title, campus location and campus telephone number. Students are identified by their full names (as recorded in the Student Information System) and by their primary email addresses, as listed in Manage My Services. Students are automatically included in the directory but may choose to be excluded (or re-included) by contacting email@example.com. York Atlas department data includes department name, campus location, phone, fax, email, and voice mail. Retirees are identified (by request) by their name and email address. Updating data Changes, additions and deletions to faculty and staff telephone and email listings are made by departmental Telephone Designates. York's Department Telephone Designates use an online update program to make changes and additions to data for employees, associated personnel and University departments. To change your data, please contact the telephone designate for your unit. Employee data updates are processed daily. Student requests for changes are done on the web via Student Web Services. Student data changes are processed each weekend. Retirees can request inclusion in York Atlas by contacting the telephone designate of their former department (see link above). |
Atlas 1.8.1 Copyright © 2001-2015 UIT Integration, Design & Identity Services. |
Problems regarding York Atlas can be sent to us using our problem report page. |


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Family Services
When you step into Grillo Robeck Dental in Omak, you'll know you've found the perfect place for your family's care.
Our team loves helping kids grow into healthy adults. At either end of the age spectrum, the bases are covered. We know that early experiences influence the value kids place on their oral health as adults. And they choose to seek or avoid future care by how they're treated now. Rest assured, the bar sits high here.
The services offered at Grillo Robeck Dental ensure that patients of all ages feel welcome. From the earliest check-ups to the management of orthodontic decisions, we will listen to your concerns and guide you through every stage.
Teen's Dentistry
Parents know that teen years present unique challenges. When it comes to dental health, rapid changes influence adolescents moving into adulthood. Cavity activity can suddenly accelerate with more independence in food and drink habits. Concurrently, oral hygiene activity sometimes becomes inconsistent. A good partnership with our team can set your teen up for a lifetime of benefits.
Helping our youngest patients grow into healthy young adults is a highlight for our team. Children undergo constant growth and development that present special challenges for an optimal outcome. And childhood tooth decay can create a lifetime of problems often avoided with an early preventive plan.
Adult's Dentistry
Sometimes dental problems follow otherwise healthy people through life. Understanding the causes behind dental disease can eliminate the frustration that builds as teeth deteriorate. Creating a customized preventive routine can leave you looking forward to the good news at your dental visits.
Ortho Screenings
Metal grins fill the pages of many high school yearbooks. But braces offer benefits at many different stages of life. Identifying problems at an early age often allows ideal timing in orthodontic treatment, resulting in a perfect outcome. Monitoring growth and development at your child's regular preventive visits is just part of our commitment to your family's dental health.


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Velvet Mesh Strappy Midi Dress
Regular Price
Sale Price
Regular Price
Sold Out
Unit Price
- per
- Regular Price
- $89.00
- Sale Price
- $89.00
- Regular Price
- Unit Price
- per
Wedding Dresses, Cocktail Dresses, Party Dresses, Evening Dresses
Wear to - Date nights, festive events, girl's night out.
Material: Bandage (Rayon, Nylon, Spandex)
Dress Length: Approx 79cm
Gentle dry clean only
There may be slight inaccuracy in manual measurement. Therefore the range of 3cm is acceptable.
The model picture is just for reference. The real pictures(without model) are closest to the true color. Color may vary due to lighting on images.
Delivery Time
- Total Delivery Time = Processing Time + Shipping Time
Shipping Methods
- We've put a lot of focus on making sure the items get delivered to our customers as quickly as possible.
- We aim to deliver each order within 72 hours (weekends and Public Holidays not included). If you have special requirements or sensitive events, please Contact Us for help.
- We do fast shipping world-wide by DHL Express or FedEx Express or Fastway. normally delivered to you within 5-8 Business days.
Destination | Costs |
Shipping Time (Business Days) |
United States |
FREE for orders over US$200+ otherwise US$10.99/11.99/12.99/1399 |
3 - 5 |
United Kingdom |
FREE for orders over US$200+ otherwise US$12.90/$13.99/$14.99 |
5 - 10 |
Canada,Mexico |
FREE for orders over US$200+ Otherwise US$11.99/$12.99/$13.99 |
5 - 8 |
European Union |
FREE for orders over US$220+ Otherwise US$12.99/$13.99/$14.99 |
5 - 8 |
Australia,New Zealand |
FREE for orders over US$300+ Remote Area US 15.99-US28.99 Otherwise US$12.99+ |
5 - 8 |
Asia Cyprus,Japan,Jordan,South Korea,Sri Lanka,Philipping,Israel,United Arab Emirates, Turkey |
FREE for orders over US$200+ Otherwise US$9.99/%10.99/$11.99/$12.99 |
3 - 5 |
Africa Egypt,South Africa |
FREE for orders over US$200+ Otherwise US$12.99,$13.99/$14.99 |
7- 15 |
About TAX
- We can't guarantee that you will or will not be charged any customs taxes or duties, EU VAT. You are responsible for all applicable customs, duties, EU VTA, taxes and fees charged by your government. Please contact your country's customs office for respective charges and rates on package. Find out more about customs taxes or duties, EU VAT. Please Click Here.
- Shipments from all of our warehouses are delivery duty unpaid. Therefore, any and all customs or import duties are charged once the parcel reaches its destination country. If any,these charges must be paid by the customers.Customers take full liability for all return shipment costs, customs charges and handling fees should they refuse to accept a parcel due to import duties or taxes.
Find out more about our Delivery.
100% Satisfaction Guarantee
If you are not completely satisfied with your purchase.
• Notify us of the return or exchanges request within 7 days from the delivery date. All eligible items must initiate return within 7 days of receipt.
• Simply return the item(s) to us in their original condition and packaging within 37 days of receipt and we will issue a full refund (excluding original delivery charge), or exchange the item for a different size/style, if preferred. All shipping charges for return and exchange are the responsibility of the customer.
• For hygiene reasons; bodysuits, lingerie/intimates & swimwear/bikinis are final sale cannot be returned or exchanges.
Please Note:
• Chicida will not absorb the cost of any duties/taxes for return parcels incorrectly declared. Duties/taxes charged will be deducted from your credit/refund.
• Please contact our customer service to ensure the right return address. We will not be responsible for refund if the item is returned to the wrong address.
For more info on our Delivery & Returns Policies/Processes. Please Click Here.


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Luxury vinyl flooring is a layered product construction. The base layer is made primarily of PVC vinyl, which offers flexibility as well as dimensional stability. The decorative PVC film is laid on top of the base layer. The wearlayer is typically a clear vinyl wearlayer and may or may not include a urethane coating that provides superior protection from everyday wear and tear.
There are many advantages to using Luxury Vinyl Tile products. They include the following:
Clearly, Luxury Vinyl is a flooring product category that offers something for everyone!


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Hello guys! If you want to type Tswana accents and other different Tswana characters easily without using a Tswana keyboard, you are in the right place. Beside typing Tswana accents, this page will permit you to edit your text in the particular box and then you just need to copy the text to your document or e-mail message and so on.
Type Tswana characters into the box:
You are using Italian(qwerty) Keyboard and want to type with On-Screen Tswana Virtual Keyboard
You are all free to utilize this online Tswana keyboard for typing Tswana characters on your computer, whether if you don't have a suitable keyboard to type the Cyrillic alphabet. This keyboard is applicable for typing both the small and capital letter and so, you are able to type any Tswana character using this online keyboard. Moreover, you can edit your text just by putting the mouse pointer inside the box. The rules are all alike as you typically type and edit the texts in a text editing software. We believe that this pretty simple online Tswana keyboard will assist you to type texts in Tswana characters, even if you are far away from your Tswana computer- for instance, you can use this online Tswana keyboard when you are in a foreign land and using the internet in a cyber café.
If you duplicate the Tswana text and input it into an email message, it may happen that- you see the Tswana characters perfectly, but the people to whom you will send the email message, won't see them properly. To evade this problem, you have to save the Tswana text in a word processor, such as- OpenOffice or Microsoft Word and after that you need to send the text file as an attachment. But, the best option is- exporting the text to a PDF file and then you can be 100% sure that the Tswana characters will not be messed up or lost anyway.
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Domain Name related Rules
Domain Name Registration (Anchor: reg)
Altin Groups IT Solution Center provides 2nd Level Domain Registration services under .TEL.
A .TEL domain name provides the ability to store, publish and manage contact information and keywords directly in the Domain Name System (DNS), the hierarchical system by which easy-to-remember, human-friendly names such as somedomain.com are associated with Internet locations.
You may register .TEL domain names containing 2 to 63 characters.
From 13th March 2017, all usage restrictions were lifted from .TEL and you get to choose how you use your .TEL domain. Until then, your registrar or reseller provided you with access to and support for the Telhosting platform. For all new platform .TEL hosting product support requests from 13th March 2017 onwards, please contact firstname.lastname@example.com. You can write to the same email address in case you haven't received you new account details from the registry already.
Telnic now has a new iOS and Android app that will enable .TEL owners using Telhosting to fully manage their domain content using their smartphone. Free downloads will be available from the .TEL website or from the Apple and Google Play stores.
Domain Name Transfer (Anchor: trf)
You can create a backup of the data on your .TEL domain name and later restore it using this backup from within your .TEL Hosting Control Panel. See details
This is particularly useful in case you are transferring your .TEL domain name from another Registrar to Altin Groups IT Solution Center.
Contact Details related Rules (Anchor: contact)
If the Registrant of a .TEL domain name is an individual, he/she has an option not to have his/her personal information displayed in the Whois. The Registrant can choose to have this option enabled/disabled at the time of Registration.
However, if the Registrant of a .TEL domain name is an Organization, then the complete Contact details are displayed in the Whois. See details
Name Servers and Child Name Servers related Rules (Anchor: ns)
Child Name Servers can not be registered under a .TEL domain name.
If you have a .TEL domain name registered as yourdomainname.tel, you cannot register a Child Name Server such as ns1.yourdomainname.tel, ns2.yourdomainname.tel, etc. under it.