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opaque, satin finish
50den Tights multifiber opaque
Special characteristics of the tights:
Size chart
If you find your size in the borderline between two sizes, we recommend that you choose the larger size.
More details about our gusset variants:
black = classic fabric Mesh = breathable mesh gusset real silver = only silver (one layer of fabric) real silver/black mesh = (two layers of fabric)
Please note: Silver products have a limited lifetime, depending on the frequency of movement. Silver products will also naturally discolor over time; this is not a quality defect. This is caused by oxidation of the silver by body temperature and body moisture. The oxidation does not reduce the antibacterial function of silver.
Our products do not use Nano-Silver technology.
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Entering the sweet blissful world of tea aromas!
Having discovered this website at the end of July 2011, I'm so excited to share my tea adventures with all of you! I grew up with my grandmother serving Twining's English Breakfast with cream and sugar.
But on a trip to Seattle in 2010, I stumbled into a Chinese teashop and tried my first oolong tea. I was forever changed! I embarked on a startling new love for green and white teas.
With a world of teas to discover, I was inspired to keep a tea journal to record my thoughts and new favorites. Let's get brewing!
My ratings are completely subjective and 100% my opinion. All ratings are given in relation to each other (ie. teas are rated in the order of my enjoyment of them). Therefore, my ratings will constantly change as I try more teas.
I love swapping!!! If you see something in my cupboard you'd like to try, just send me a message. If you'd like to trade, anything on my shopping list will do or feel free to send something else entirely. I'm willing to try almost anything (although I'm not really a fan of honeybush, red rooibos, pu'erh, Lapsang Souchong, & banana-flavored teas).
Maryland, USA

subset: commoncrawl


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Dentures today are made from very advanced materials designed to give you a natural appearance.
However, keep in mind that just like your teeth, dentures should be cared for with the same diligence. This means daily brushing and regular visits to your dentist.
Regular visits to your dentist are critical. Your dentist also can make minor adjustments that ensure that your dentures continue fitting naturally and comfortably.
Just like natural teeth, dentures need to be cleansed of plaque, food particles and other debris. Keeping your dentures in top shape will also help keep the soft tissues of your mouth healthy; an unclean or malformed denture can cause infections and irritation.
Cleaning Techniques
Remember to rinse and brush your dentures after every meal, and soak them in denture solution overnight. This also allows your gums to breathe while you sleep.
Here are some simple techniques for keeping your dentures clean:
- People can brush their dentures in a variety of ways. Some people use soap and water or a slightly abrasive toothpaste. Popular denture pastes and creams also can be used.
- Avoid using highly abrasive chemicals or pastes, or vigorously brushing with hard bristled toothbrushes. These can scratch or even crack dentures.
- Hold your dentures gently to avoid loosening a tooth.
- Clean your dentures with cool or tepid water over a water-filled sink. Hot water may warp a denture. A small washcloth placed in the bottom of the bowl will ensure that your denture isn't damaged if it falls.
- Soak your dentures overnight in any commercially available product like Efferdent or Polident, and remember to rinse your dentures before placing them back in your mouth.
- Remember to use a separate toothbrush to clean your own natural teeth, as well as all of your gum tissues. In lieu of a toothbrush, a soft washcloth may be used to wipe your gums.
Over time, even daily care of your dentures may require them to be cleaned by the dentist. A powerful ultrasonic cleaner may be used to remove hard accumulations of tartar and other substances.


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Affordable Computer Repairs in East Ipswich
Whether you need tech support for your computer, help with laptop problems, or advice on setting up your wireless network, our computer technicians are here to help.
We're passionate about bringing our stellar computer repair technicians and their amazing customer service to people all over the Greater Brisbane Area who need help with their PC, laptop, Apple Mac, server, or all-in-one system.
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We specialize in PC repairs, as well as troubleshooting common technical issues and internet connectivity problems that can occur in your home or office.
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Repair Laptops & PCs
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Finding a computer repair business that works with Apple products is difficult, as Apple Macs tend to be much less common in the home or office. However, our dedicated IT support technicians are experienced with Mac Operating Systems and we can repair your faulty machine very quickly.
It doesn't matter if you're using a Macbook laptop or the classic all-in-one Apple iMac – our computer geeks can handle it all! So if you've got the "spinning multicolored beach ball of death" or your machine just won't turn on and perform basic functions, we're the team for the job.
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Give our team a call and we may be able to come to your home or office and fix your computer problem within just a couple of hours.
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We've been serving Brisbane, North Lakes, Ipswich, and Logan for many years now, providing top-notch computer repairs services for a very affordable price.
We Service and Fix All Brands of Laptops and Desktops
Did not find your computer's or device's brand on the list? Don't worry! U Break We Fix services are not limited to those on the list. Give us a call at 0410 659 349 and we will be right at your service!


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If the link is not working, try using the right mouse button/save link target as...
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Larceny Barrel Proof Batch A122 Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey 750mL
Regular price$299.99
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Free shipping at $249.99 or over to all areas mentioned above. Includes PO boxes and parcel lockers. Excludes all cases of beer, cider, water, energy drinks and pre-mix/RTDs.


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Embmarketing Team Builder Terms and Conditions.
The following Terms and Conditions control your membership in the Embmarketing Team Builder program. You agree that you have read and understand this Agreement ("Agreement") and that your membership in the Embmarketing Team Builder program (the "Program") shall be subject to the following Terms and Conditions between you (the "Member") and Embmarketing Team Builder. These Terms and Conditions may be modified at any time by Embmarketing Team Builder. Please review them from time to time since your ongoing use is subject to the terms and conditions as modified. Your continued participation in Embmarketing Team Builder after such modification shall be deemed to be your acceptance of any such modification. If you do not agree to these Terms and Conditions, please do not register to become a member of Embmarketing Team Builder.
Terms of Participation
Member must be 18 years of age or older to participate. Members must provide Embmarketing Team Builder with accurate, complete and updated registration information, including an accurate name, mailing address and email address.
To the full extent allowed by applicable law, Embmarketing Team Builder at its sole discretion and for any or no reason may refuse to accept applications for membership.
Members may not (i) activate or use more than one Member account; (ii) select or use a Email Address of another person; (iii) use a name subject to rights of another person without authorization from that person; (iv) use a false or misleading name, mailing address, or email address to activate or use a Member account.
By signing up for the Embmarketing Team Builder program, Member is opting-in to receive other special offer emails from Embmarketing Team Builder. If you do not wish to receive these emails, you may cancel your account anytime .
Embmarketing Team Builder reserves the right to track Member's activity by both IP Address as well as individual browser activity.
Embmarketing Team Builder has the right, in its sole discretion, to suspend or cancel, at any time and for any or no reason, a Member's membership in and access to the Embmarketing Team Builder Website and the Embmarketing Team Builder program. All Earnings may be cancelled in Embmarketing Team Builder sole discretion, and the Member may be referred to appropriate law enforcement agencies if such action is deemed warranted by Embmarketing Team Builder.
Member agrees not to abuse his or her membership privileges by acting in a manner inconsistent with this Agreement. Member agrees not to attempt to earn through other than legitimate channels authorized by Embmarketing Team Builder. Member agrees not to participate in any fraudulent behavior of any kind.
Embmarketing Team Builder shall be the sole determiner in cases of suspected abuse, fraud, or violation of its rules. Any decision Embmarketing Team Builder makes relating to the cancellation of Earnings and the termination of membership shall be final and binding.
Spamming is strickly prohibited.
Any spamming done to advertise Embmarketing Team Builder will result in immediate termination of your account and a forfeiture of your account balance. Incidents will be dealt with on a case by case basis.
Member's discontinued participation in the Embmarketing Team Builder program or failure to notify Embmarketing Team Builder of any address (mailing or email) changes may result in the termination of Member's membership and forfeiture of Member's unredeemed Earnings.
Member shall comply with all laws, rules, and regulations that are applicable to Member. Member acknowledges that Member may only participate in the Embmarketing Team Builder program if and to the extent that such participation is permitted by such laws, rules, and regulations.
If member objects to any of the Terms and Conditions of this Agreement, or any subsequent modifications to this agreement, or becomes dissatisfied with the Program, Member's only recourse is to immediately discontinue participation in the Embmarketing Team Builder program and properly terminate his or her membership.
MEMBER EXPRESSLY AGREES THAT USE OF THE SERVICE IS AT MEMBER'S SOLE RISK. THE SERVICE IS PROVIDED ON AN "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" BASIS. TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT ALLOWED BY APPLICABLE LAW, Embmarketing Team Builder EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMS ALL WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED BY LAW, CUSTOM OR OTHERWISE, INCLUDING WITHOUT LIMITATION ANY WARRANTY OF MERCHANTABILITY, SATISFACTORY QUALITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. Embmarketing Team Builder MAKES NO WARRANTY REGARDING ANY GOODS OR SERVICES PURCHASED OR OBTAINED THROUGH THE PROGRAM OR ANY TRANSACTIONS ENTERED INTO THROUGH THE PROGRAM.
TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT ALLOWED BY APPLICABLE LAW, NEITHER Embmarketing Team Builder NOR ANY OF ITS MEMBERS, SUBSIDIARIES, PUBLISHERS, SERVICE PROVIDERS, LICENSORS, OFFICERS, DIRECTORS OR EMPLOYEES SHALL BE LIABLE FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL OR CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF OR RELATING TO THIS AGREEMENT, RESULTING FROM THE USE OR THE INABILITY TO USE THE SERVICE OR FOR THE COST OF PROCUREMENT OF SUBSTITUTE GOODS AND SERVICES OR RESULTING FROM ANY GOODS OR SERVICES PURCHASED OR OBTAINED OR MESSAGES RECEIVED OR TRANSACTIONS ENTERED INTO THROUGH THE PROGRAM OR RESULTING FROM UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO OR ALTERATION OF USER'S TRANSMISSIONS OR DATA, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF PROFITS, USE, DATA OR OTHER INTANGIBLE, EVEN IF SUCH PARTY HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
To prevent unauthorized access, maintain data accuracy, and ensure the correct use of information, Embmarketing Team Builder uses appropriate industry standard procedures to safeguard the confidentiality of Member's personal information, such as firewall, encryption, token authentication, application proxies, monitoring technology, and adaptive analysis of the Website's traffic to track abuse of the Embmarketing Team Builder Website and its data. However, no data transmitted over the Internet can be 100% secure. As a result, while Embmarketing Team Builder strives to protect its Members personal information, Embmarketing Team Builder cannot guarantee the security of any information that Members transmit to or from the participating advertisers/merchants and Member does so at his/her own risk.
This Agreement constitutes the entire Agreement between Member and Embmarketing Team Builder in connection with general membership in the Embmarketing Team Builder program and supersedes all prior agreements between the parties regarding the subject matter contained herein. If any provision of this AGREEMENT is found invalid or unenforceable, that provision will be enforced to the maximum extent permissible, and the other provisions of this AGREEMENT will remain in force. No failure of either party to exercise or enforce any of its rights under this AGREEMENT will act as a waiver of such rights.


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We accept these fine credit cards.
Skin Tone Daywear selection begins by finding the correct undertone. Undertone is the overall cast of your skin, most visible when your face is bare and is classified as cool, neutral, or warm. Cool undertone is skin that has a pink or rosy cast and burns easily when exposed to sun. Neutral undertone is skin that has an even-toned neutral cast and isn't too pink or too golden. Warm undertone is skin that has a golden or olive cast and tans easily when exposed to sun. Color Enhancers and Compacts ForYou offers Color Enhancers, a light, liquid foundation which provides a sheer, transparent coverage for smooth, even coverage. ForYou also offers Compacts, a creamy based foundation which provides an all-over matte finish for those desiring a little more coverage. ForYou offers 4 basic shades that can be used independently or can be combined with other shades to meet your specific skin tone. Light Beige is the lightest shade and has a pink or rosy cast best suited for porcelain to fair skin. Just Natural is a slightly darker shade and has a neutral cast that isn't too pink or too golden. Medium Beige has a golden cast and is best suited for those with olive complexions. Dark Beige is the darkest shade available and is best suited for light to medium brown skin tones.
Translucent Face Powder Only $30.00 The perfecting touch to your beautiful face! Detailed Product Information...
© Copyright 2024 ForYou, Inc. Concept and development by Bearweb.com


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Kids and Teens: Books, Websites, and more
Homework Help
Start here for your online research and homework help!
An extensive collection of Web sites that can help you with a wide range of subjects you may be researching for school assignments.
Books for Fun
- By way of Book Sense, a list of children's books that are flying off the shelves.
- Web sites that talk about books for kids and teens.


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Macon Health Care Center
Macon Health Care Center
Address:29612 Kellogg Avenue, Macon, MO 63552
Main Phone: (660) 385-5797
Fax: (660) 385-5814
We strive to make every moment count for our residents and patients at NHC HealthCare Macon because we believe in celebrating life at all stages.
NHC HealthCare Macon's private and spacious campus is home to a 112-bed post-acute 24-hour skilled nursing Health Care Center. We see many individuals who need skilled nursing care after a stroke, joint replacement surgery, a cardiac procedure or a serious illness.
We offer a full spectrum of resources to get you back on the road to health.
- Team of specialized physicians, nurse practitioners, nurses, and therapists
- 24-hour nursing care provided by licensed nursing teams
- Different levels of care depending on your need
- Clinical social worker
- Dietician and chef approved meals
- Daily assistance with personal living activities
- Onsite Rehabilitation facility with comprehensive therapy services
Our Promise. Our vision is Caring in a better way day by day. We are dedicated to offering the best experience for our patients during your stay at NHC HealthCare Macon. In fact, all of NHC partners prepare for their workday by participating in our Better Way stand up meeting focusing on one of our 20 promises each morning.
- Activities and entertainment scheduled daily
- Beauty/Barber Shop
- Gardening area
- Dining room
- Private event room
- Regular social events
- Religious services
- Housekeeping and Laundry Services
- High-speed wireless internet service
- Cable TV in each room
Individual nursing care 24 hours a day:
- Physician directed protocols
- Specialized nutrition program
- Recreation specialist
- Medication management
- Diabetes management
- Specialty services available
- IV therapy
- Wound care
- Podiatry care
- Pain management
- Diabetes management
- Psychological services
- 24-hour nursing care and supervision for support in their daily activities, which includes help with bathing, dressing, meals, incontinence care, mobility and managing medication.
- Physician directed protocols
- Specialized nutrition program
- Recreation specialist
- Medication management
- Diabetes management
- Specialty services available
Physical Therapy:
- Joint replacement for hip or knee
- Stroke Care
- Spinal Rehabilitation
- Amputees
- Joint Sprain/Strains
- Wound Care
- Pain Rehabilitation
- LSVT – Program for Parkinson's
Occupational Therapy:
- Joint replacement for hip or knee
- Stroke Care
- Functional ADLS: Eating, Bathing, Dressing, Grooming
- Low Vision Rehab
- Cardiopulmonary
- LSVT – Program for Parkinson's
Speech Therapy:
- Dysphagia Assessment and treatments
- Speech and Language Assessment
- Voice Therapy
- Feeding and Oral Therapy
- Audiograms (Hearing Testing)
- ENG Testing (Dizziness Testing)
- Vital Stim, Pens
- LSVT – Program for Parkinson's
- Short-term or temporary care services to relieve an in-home caregiver of responsibilities for an individual with long-term care needs.
Photo Gallery
News / Updates


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WOMENSWEAR SS2016: get your freakum dress on
May 31, 2016 by
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Latest fashion catwalk and runway shows from Milan, Paris, New York, Amsterdam, London. Text and image.
May 31, 2016 by
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Tell us what you're thinking...
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Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member! Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us. |
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Phoebe Commended. 1* I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is [also] a minister* of the church at Cenchreae,a 2that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the holy ones, and help her in whatever she may need from you, for she has been a benefactor to many and to me as well.
Paul's Greetings. 3Greet Prisca and Aquila,* my co-workers in Christ Jesus,b 4who risked their necks for my life, to whom not only I am grateful but also all the churches of the Gentiles; 5greet also the church at their house.* Greet my beloved Epaenetus, who was the firstfruits in Asia for Christ.c 6Greet Mary, who has worked hard for you. 7Greet Andronicus and Junia,* my relatives and my fellow prisoners; they are prominent among the apostles and they were in Christ before me. 8Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord. 9Greet Urbanus, our co-worker in Christ, and my beloved Stachys. 10Greet Apelles, who is approved in Christ. Greet those who belong to the family of Aristobulus. 11Greet my relative Herodion. Greet those in the Lord who belong to the family of Narcissus. 12Greet those workers in the Lord, Tryphaena and Tryphosa. Greet the beloved Persis, who has worked hard in the Lord. 13Greet Rufus,* chosen in the Lord, and his mother and mine.d 14Greet Asyncritus, Phlegon, Hermes, Patrobas, Hermas, and the brothers who are with them. 15Greet Philologus, Julia, Nereus and his sister, and Olympas, and all the holy ones who are with them. 16Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ greet you.e
Against Factions. 17* I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who create dissensions and obstacles, in opposition to the teaching that you learned; avoid them.f 18For such people do not serve our Lord Christ but their own appetites, and by fair and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the innocent.g 19For while your obedience is known to all, so that I rejoice over you, I want you to be wise as to what is good, and simple as to what is evil;h 20then the God of peace will quickly crush Satan* under your feet. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.i
Greetings from Corinth. 21Timothy, my co-worker, greets you; so do Lucius and Jason and Sosipater, my relatives.j 22I, Tertius, the writer of this letter, greet you in the Lord. 23k Gaius, who is host to me and to the whole church, greets you. Erastus,* the city treasurer, and our brother Quartus greet you. 24* (
Doxology.* 25[Now to him who can strengthen you, according to my gospel and the proclamation of Jesus Christ,l according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret for long ages* 26but now manifested through the prophetic writings and, according to the command of the eternal God, made known to all nations to bring about the obedience of faith,m 27to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ be glory forever and ever. Amen.]n
* [16:1–23] Some authorities regard these verses as a later addition to the letter, but in general the evidence favors the view that they were included in the original. Paul endeavors through the long list of greetings (Rom 16:3–16, 21–23) to establish strong personal contact with congregations that he has not personally encountered before. The combination of Jewish and Gentile names dramatically attests the unity in the gospel that transcends previous barriers of nationality, religious ceremony, or racial status.
* [16:1] Minister: in Greek, diakonos; see note on Phil 1:1.
* [16:3] Prisca and Aquila: presumably the couple mentioned at Acts 18:2; 1 Cor 16:19; 2 Tm 4:19.
* [16:5] The church at their house: i.e., that meets there. Such local assemblies (cf. 1 Cor 16:19; Col 4:15; Phlm 2) might consist of only one or two dozen Christians each. It is understandable, therefore, that such smaller groups might experience difficulty in relating to one another on certain issues. Firstfruits: cf. Rom 8:23; 11:16; 1 Cor 16:15.
* [16:7] The name Junia is a woman's name. One ancient Greek manuscript and a number of ancient versions read the name "Julia." Most editors have interpreted it as a man's name, Junias.
* [16:13] This Rufus cannot be identified to any degree of certainty with the Rufus of Mk 15:21.
* [16:17–18] Paul displays genuine concern for the congregations in Rome by warning them against self-seeking teachers. It would be a great loss, he intimates, if their obedience, which is known to all (cf. Rom 1:8), would be diluted.
* [16:20] This verse contains the only mention of Satan in Romans.
* [16:23] This Erastus is not necessarily to be identified with the Erastus of Acts 19:22 or of 2 Tm 4:20.
* [16:24] Some manuscripts add, similarly to Rom 16:20, "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen."
* [16:25–27] This doxology is assigned variously to the end of Rom 14; 15; 16 in the manuscript tradition. Some manuscripts omit it entirely. Whether written by Paul or not, it forms an admirable conclusion to the letter at this point.
* [16:25] Paul's gospel reveals the mystery kept secret for long ages: justification and salvation through faith, with all the implications for Jews and Gentiles that Paul has developed in the letter.
a. [16:1] Acts 18:18.
b. [16:3] Acts 18:2, 18–26; 1 Cor 16:19; 2 Tm 4:19.
c. [16:5] 1 Cor 16:19; Col 4:15; Phlm 2 / 1 Cor 16:15.
e. [16:16] 1 Cor 16:20; 2 Cor 13:12; 1 Thes 5:26; 1 Pt 5:14.
g. [16:18] Phil 3:18–19; Col 2:4; 2 Pt 2:3.
h. [16:19] 1:8; Mt 10:16; 1 Cor 14:20.
i. [16:20] 15:33; Gn 3:15; Lk 10:19 / 1 Cor 16:23; 1 Thes 5:28; 2 Thes 3:18.
j. [16:21] Acts 16:1–2; 19:22; 20:4; 1 Cor 4:17; 16:10; Phil 2:19–22; Heb 13:23.
k. [16:23] Acts 19:29; 1 Cor 1:14 / 2 Tm 4:20.
l. [16:25] 1 Cor 2:7; Eph 1:9; 3:3–9; Col 1:26.
m. [16:26] 2 Tm 1:10 / 1:5; Eph 3:4–5, 9; 1 Pt 1:20.
n. [16:27] 11:36; Gal 1:5; Eph 3:20–21; Phil 4:20; 1 Tm 1:17; 2 Tm 4:18; Heb 13:21; 1 Pt 4:11; 2 Pt 3:18; Jude 25; Rev 1:6.
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Congress, which had originally designated the acreage for burials, switched it to park land at the request of Denver officials. By 1894, graves had been relocated, burials suspended, and the area fenced, but the incipient Cheesman Park remained barren and deserted until landscape architect, Reinhard Schuetze, drew up formal plans in 1898 that included a lily pond, Pavilion, and rows of Linden trees. Adjacent cemetery tracts became Morgan's Historic District, Congress Park, Denver Botanic Gardens, and soccer fields – planted above the city reservoirs, the soccer fields are located directly north of Congress Park.
As conceived of by Schuetze, Cheesman is a serene expanse in the midst of the bustling city, a peaceful enclave for quiet contemplation, picnicking, reading, and viewing the mountains. Its seclusion is sufficient to lure the occasional bagpiper out to practice amidst the rolling fields at the park's center.In 1907 funds for a pavilion were donated by the widow of Walter Cheesman in exchange for naming the park in his honor. Inspired by the Acropolis in Athens and hailed as Denver's "temple in the sun," the Pavilion was constructed of white Colorado marble and decorated on the west by reflecting pools and fountains.The Colorado Mountain Club contributed a guide to the Front Range peaks cast in bronze and mounted along the Pavilion's west promenade to enrich the viewing experience. Cheesman Park Esplanade, created in 1912, linked Cheesman to Seventh Avenue Parkway and the Williams Street Parkway leading to the Country Club neighborhood.
Intended as a Japanese tea house, the wooden edifice at the park's north end is currently undergoing renovation after years of neglect. During the '30s and '40s, supported by Helen Bonfils, owner of the Denver Post, Cheesman Park hosted seminars and theatrical productions that drew enthusiasts by the thousands each summer.
Cheesman Park remains a significant neighborhood gathering spot, attracting legions of joggers, walkers, picnickers, and sunbathers, much as Schuetze may have originally envisioned. He might also be gratified at the sight of parents and their children flocking to the west-side playground. On breezy days, the sky above Cheesman springs to life with brightly colored kites, and following winter storms, ski tracks soon crisscross the freshly fallen snow.
Hang around long enough and you're sure to spot some of the diverse wildlife that periodically wander into the park from Cherry Creek or the Botanic Gardens, among them, marmots, foxes, rabbits, and even deer. More common visitors include crows, pigeons, woodpeckers, squirrels, and, on occasion, herons, hawks, Canadian geese, and ducks.
Cheesman Park and environs offers an unparalleled opportunity to fully engage with Colorado's outdoor lifestyle in an urban setting. "Central Park" in Denver is a compelling reminder to us all why "'tis a privilege to live in Colorado."


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Plot No. 55/56, Gut No. 17,
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From the kitchen of One Perfect Bite...Like many small families we eat a lot of chicken and pork. They make it possible for us to have meals that can be eaten in one sitting without having to deal with leftovers. For years after the children were on their own, I'd use pork tenderloin because it was fast to make and always tender. We love pork chops, but cooking them properly and serving them before they become shoe leather isn't always easy. More often than not, they need to be brined to keep them moist and tender as they cook. While doing some reading in preparation for our, now completed, trip to China, I came across a recipe from Taiwan that used thin cut pork chops. I thought the recipe was worth a try and we've been delighted with the results ever since. If you like, a reduced sodium soy sauce or tamari can be used to marinate the chops. The chops should be no thicker than 3/8 of an inch. If yours are more than that, beat them to submission. While the marinade can be made in less than 5 minutes, the chops should laze in it for at least an hour before they're are cooked. Total cooking time is less than 5 minutes and, be forewarned, the chops will toughen if they are overcooked. I serve these right from the pan with scallion rice and a bean sprout salad. I know you're going to love these. Here's the recipe.
Salt and Pepper Pork Chops...from the kitchen of One Perfect Bite with a lot of help from Wei-Chuan Cooking School Taiwan
3 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 teaspoon fresh cracked pepper
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1-1/4 pounds boneless thin-cut pork loin chops
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1) Combine soy sauce, cornstarch, pepper, sugar and salt in bottom of 9 x 13 x 2-inch baking pan. Stir with a fork until all ingredients are combined and marinade is smooth. Add chops, turning to coat both sides. Cover dish with plastic wrap. Refrigerate, turning occasionally, for 1 to 24 hours.
2) Heat oil in a large frying pan set over medium high heat. Add pork, working in batches if necessary. Cook 1 to 2 minutes per side, until golden brown and cooked through. Transfer to serving plate or serve from pan. Yield: 4 servings.
You might also enjoy these recipes:
Braised Pork Chops with Homemade Curry and Chutney Sauce - One Perfect Bite


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Wynona 03
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Apostrophe is Silent
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Once upon a time there was a girl named Amber.
Amber decided that school was not for her. Fortunately, she had loving and supportive parents.
One day Amber was offered an exciting new job. To celebrate, she added an apostrophe to her name, thinking it would make her seem more sophisticated. Again, her parents were supportive.
Unfortunately, introducing herself as "Amber - the apostrophe is silent" did not yield the results Amber was hoping for. Still, she did make some new friends at work: Cassie the C...er...Cat, and "Long Lips" Lisa.
Of course, every job has its hazards:
Which Lisa and Cassie were always there to commiserate with:
Then one day, after an unfortunate misunderstanding between the girls and a city health inspector looking for "clogged plumbing", disaster:
Amber said goodbye to her newfound - albeit diseased - friends, and despaired over finding another job to suit her rather unique skill set and wardrobe. Fortunately, her ever-supportive parents were way ahead of her:
Thanks to today illustrious Wreckporters Wendy E., Monique R., Alex H., Michele D., & Amber (no apostrophe) S., and Alexa B.
198 comments | Post a Comment
oh NO.
!!! - May 19, 2009 at 9:34 AM
- Jen said...
I prefer the 'family friendly' version of Cake Wrecks.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:42 AM
Although, as usual, I LOVE Jen's commentary, most of these cakes were obviously made just to send to cake wrecks. Right?? Please please please tell me I am right. Civilization cannot possibly have sunk to these levels. Right? Right?
WV:UNSOC. Excuse me while I unsoc my feet. - May 19, 2009 at 9:42 AM
- tracyvanhorne said...
What are those clam like things on the last cake? Did the pole dancer get crabs? - May 19, 2009 at 9:44 AM
It's like a word journey.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:44 AM
What are those lumps on the pole dancer cake? I see something totally inappropriate!!
- May 19, 2009 at 9:44 AM
It's very simple. This site requires an NSFW labeling because, well, people are wondering why every morning about the same time I'm at my desk making choking noises while I try not to laugh out loud. And today's post is no exception! Why…what? The little dancing romantic figures on the herpes cake? And…getting FIRED via cake? Isn't that illegal? And…OMG, what ARE those bloated-Raviolio-looking THINGS on that last cake? Implants?!? No-no-no-no-nooooooo!
WV: halis. What the halis wrong with these cakes? - May 19, 2009 at 9:44 AM
- Boozy Tooth said...
A "You're Fired" cake?
I wonder why I never got one of those. - May 19, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Proof that those with absolutely NO CLASS celebrate with cake too.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Why is there parsley on the Pole Dancer cake? The melted ice cream I can sort of deal with. the coffee beans to indicate the flavor of the ice cream? But Parsley? On a Cake?
- May 19, 2009 at 9:46 AM
- Carrie P said...
What. The. Heck.
This is one of the most bizzare wreck pastiches you've come up with thus far, Jen. That is a compliment. A somewhat befuddled, stunned, I-can't-believe-I'm-seeing-what-I'm-seeing compliment, but a complement nevertheless.
Is that supposed to be *Hummus* on the chocolate pole-dancer cheesecake? - May 19, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- skatej said...
Dad sent me a text message from my brother's senior trip in Florida:
"You'll be proud of us. We had to do this stupid progressive dinner thing so the boys and I got a cookie cake and had them write 'It's a Gril'"
Byos! (Boys!) - May 19, 2009 at 9:48 AM
- Yakira said...
Oh. My. Gosh.
xDDDD - May 19, 2009 at 9:48 AM
i'm impressed that the wreckorator got "you're" right on the "you're fired" cake!
- May 19, 2009 at 9:51 AM
- Mommy of M's said...
Are you sure those are real cakes???
- May 19, 2009 at 9:55 AM
- Tracy O said...
oh my. Any one of these individually would be wreck worthy, but the story tying them all together? Priceless. Not just a word journey, but a career wreck journey. Jen, I do believe you have outdone yourself. Hats off.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:56 AM
- Karen said...
Love the herpes cake! So are we to assume that Disney Princesses aren't all disease free?
- May 19, 2009 at 9:56 AM
- Anna said...
Cripes, what the H-E-double hockeysticks was that all about?
- May 19, 2009 at 9:56 AM
- Little Scarf Girl said...
o__o Wow. That was some story! The "You're Fired" cake seems pretty ridiculous. Who would want to stay and have cake if they were getting fired?!
- May 19, 2009 at 9:57 AM
Sleeping Beauty *was* my favorite Disney movie... until today....
- May 19, 2009 at 9:58 AM
- Unknown said...
I really need to stop drinking tea in the morning when I read this blog! My computer screen invariable gets spewed upon!
This was the funniest dang thing I've seen in awhile! lolol.... - May 19, 2009 at 9:59 AM
Are you kidding me?! I really shouldn't be in shock that they actually make cakes that say these things, but amazingly, I am! Only Jen could make something so astonishing into something truly hilarious! Great story, Jen! :)
- May 19, 2009 at 10:02 AM
- Unknown said...
Y'know, Cassie Cat reminds me of Reynard Noir . . . which left me with an odd mental image, as Cassandra has higher standards than that.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:10 AM
SUPERMAN gave her HERPES?!?!?
But, ever the gentleman, he takes her dancing and buys her a cake to apologize. - May 19, 2009 at 10:10 AM
- Twistie said...
Wow. It's not often one sees an entire sordid life played out in pastry with such verve and detail.
I am in equal parts stunned, mystified, educated, and amused.
Verification word: aphadin. Fraction of a whole din. - May 19, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Wow, I'm a little scared that you had so many cakes for this little story. Too funny, though.
Makes me mad I didn't get a cake for when I got mono. Or broke my arm. Because apparently any occasion calls for cake, even those you can't say with flowers. - May 19, 2009 at 10:15 AM
I thought I knew how tacky humans could be.
I was wrong. - May 19, 2009 at 10:15 AM
- Half Assed Kitchen said...
How much do I LOVE how you constructed this story? You devious genius, you.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com) - May 19, 2009 at 10:18 AM
- Unknown said...
This was very funny. I appreciate the censored plastic boobies on the pole dancer but those "blobs" on that cake look like they need to be covered up as well. They look....well, they look.....
ROFL - May 19, 2009 at 10:19 AM
- Demon Blogger said...
Oh holy cow...I had no idea that cakes could be so...truthful. Kind of puts a spin on "sugar coating" it.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:21 AM
- Robert said...
That third cake is such an odd place to find Sleeping Beauty and her Prince...
WV: yortsm - Random yacht parts found in the ocean along with flotsam and jetsam. - May 19, 2009 at 10:27 AM
- Ann Hedvig said...
OMG lol, hillarious
- May 19, 2009 at 10:28 AM
- Mirth said...
Love the Disney themed herpes cake. I wonder if there's any connection? You know, Spring Break in FL, made a little side trip to Disney, got a little drunk on the Pirate's ride, woke up in "It's a Small World Hell" hungover and contaminated. It could happen.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:30 AM
Guess it just goes to show you that there's a cake for ever occasion. :)
But Jen,,,um.. did you FORGET your apostrophe this morning: Thanks to today illustrious Wreckporters..." Maybe that baker used them all up. :) Hehehe.. - May 19, 2009 at 10:32 AM
- the ginabean said...
- May 19, 2009 at 10:33 AM
- mustdestroyalltraces said...
i want my funeral to have my life story told in cakes now.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:34 AM
- Kashmir said...
......words elude me......
*blink* *blink* *blink* - May 19, 2009 at 10:37 AM
- Kat said...
Those were real cakes? Wow.
This post reminds me of last night's Rules of Engagement. It involved a penis cake for a "adult toy" party. Of course, they didn't show the cake, but there were several witty jokes referring to it. - May 19, 2009 at 10:38 AM
The herpes cake is actually nicely done... wow... as Judy said, those with no class still celebrate with cake and these no-class-folks at least found a nice bakery.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:38 AM
- Dangerous Lilly said...
Perhaps I'm too much of a perv but um. I see "clams" on that pole dancer cake.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:40 AM
- Trevor said...
Wait, is that Superman dancing with Belle on the Herpes cake? Really?
- May 19, 2009 at 10:42 AM
- GJC said...
Anon...haven't you ever tasted Choco-Mocha Parsley Clam Cake (Now With Added Pole-Dancers!)??
Man, you're missing OUT.
WV: grawks. I does not grawks why these cakes was made. - May 19, 2009 at 10:44 AM
Singularly, the BEST POST EVAR on this site.
Mazel tov! - May 19, 2009 at 10:45 AM
- Raychel said...
It's funny that the herpes one is on a kids disney cake (sleeping beauty). lol
Raychel from www.MyCreativeWay.blogspot.com - May 19, 2009 at 10:47 AM
Just when you think you've seen it all...Jen never fails to entertain (and provide a need for a dishtowel next to the computer...something is needed to wipe up the coffee sprays!)!!!
WV: DOWNU- what Amber, Lisa, and Cassie obviously did one too many times! - May 19, 2009 at 10:48 AM
Wow. Just WOW!
- May 19, 2009 at 10:49 AM
- Haiku Joy said...
To apostrophize:
I address you, silent one,
oh, apostrophe!
wv: unini.
"Unini, Haiku Joy. No one will get that pun." - May 19, 2009 at 10:49 AM
I think the "Sorry about your Herpes" cake is the weirdest, just because it's so colourful and the decorating job on it actually isn't awful...
Beyond that, all I can come up with is WTH?!? - May 19, 2009 at 10:52 AM
Those are hilariously inappropriate! I love it!
And I have to say my "crap-detector" went off a little, are we sure these are photo-shopped somehow? I just can't believe someone would get a cake saying "We Are Proud Of Our High School Dropout" - May 19, 2009 at 10:52 AM
- Andrea said...
I think that looks a lot like hummus on the pole dancer cake too. Um... what??
Otherwise, this is a brilliant post, Jen! - May 19, 2009 at 10:54 AM
- Julie said...
- May 19, 2009 at 10:55 AM
- Bri said...
O. my. goodness.
This is insane!
People actually ordered these things?
--Brianna' (the apostrophe is of the silent variety). - May 19, 2009 at 10:57 AM
And also, I've decided that the flesh colored mounds on the last cake are what I think they are. So then I guess I understand the parsley, but now I am confused about the coffee beans.
- May 19, 2009 at 11:00 AM
At least the apostrophe is correct in the "You're Fired" cake.
- May 19, 2009 at 11:01 AM
haha! I think this is one of my favorite posts!! Bravo, well done!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:01 AM
- Unknown said...
I saw that Fudgie the Whale and immediately read its message in my mental voice of Tom Carvel. That's gonna be stuck in my head for a while now.
(For those of you not wanting to go look up old Carvel ads, Carl Kasell did a pretty decent imitation of Tom Carvel during the Not My Job segment of the April 11th episode of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!. And it has William H. Macy, so you might find it really funny, like I did, or just be confused, like my husband was. He can't help it, he grew up in the land of Blue Bell ice cream. It's delicious, but there's no Cookie Puss.) - May 19, 2009 at 11:02 AM
- Unknown said...
There are no words. None.
- May 19, 2009 at 11:02 AM
- Viewtiful_Justin said...
That's the best post ever. Hands down. How horrific!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:04 AM
- Queen Julian XIII said...
Brilliant! You got story skillz gril! High Five!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:15 AM
- Suzy said...
- May 19, 2009 at 11:15 AM
- Ringleader said...
Oh my... cake and a visual social commentary at the same time... it's like the "this is your brain on drugs" commercials only in cake. By far the most disturbing are the lumps surrounding the pole dancer with coffee beans and parsley on them... please someone offer en explanation other than the very unpleasant one that I am imagining!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:21 AM
- Ulrike said...
The writing on the "fired" cake is really nice.
- May 19, 2009 at 11:21 AM
- Tricia said...
on the pole dancer cake, are those supposed to be lady private parts?
I can't believe that these are real cakes. Are people ordering wrecky cakes just so they can put them on cake wrecks? - May 19, 2009 at 11:21 AM
- Little Luxuries said...
Those things on the last cake, are they... they look like... they couldn't be...?
*faints*(hilarious write-up, Jen. I would never have expected so much... inappropriateness on one post).
And just to add to the hilarity, the word verification captcha for this comment is "inkho". - May 19, 2009 at 11:25 AM
- Unknown said...
Really? Like, REALLY? I mean "cheers!" to embracing that long held belief that there's a cake for every occasion, but a brown whale bemoaning syphilis? Oysters on a cheesecake celebrating pole dancers? Wow. This takes it to a whole new level.
Anyway Jen, I'd like to send you a virtual sprinkle-laden cake celebrating this bizarre photo essay that says, "Great Job on the Porn Blog Post." - May 19, 2009 at 11:28 AM
- Stacey B said...
I'm thinking those vagina-esque things by the pole dancer needed their own censor bars. Yikes!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:30 AM
- StuffCooksWant said...
OMG! You CAN make everything better with cake!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:34 AM
"So then I guess I understand the parsley, but now I am confused about the coffee beans."
perhaps they have something to do with the...erm...disney princess cake? - May 19, 2009 at 11:35 AM
- Mellissa said...
...Syphilis blows? *dies laughing*
Also: I'm sort of new to Cake Wrecks. What's the deal with this WV thing that's in some of the comments? - May 19, 2009 at 11:40 AM
- Julie said...
People actually paid to get that stuff put on cakes? Holy cow.
Just when you think this site can't get any more Wrecktastic!! - May 19, 2009 at 11:40 AM
Best post ever.
Thanks, Jen. Hilarious as always, but especially so today. *laughs*
And to second-poster Jen, lighten up a bit, dear. :) - May 19, 2009 at 11:44 AM
- KLTTX said...
- May 19, 2009 at 11:50 AM
- Sheila Bennett said...
Very, very cute story - you are so creative! :)
- May 19, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Absolutely hilarious! I am confused as to why the Syphillis cake has candles on it though, is it one candle for every diagnosis?
As for which Disney Princess is on the Herpes cake...well, it's quite obvious she's from the new generation of princesses, that's Sleeping Around Beauty! - May 19, 2009 at 11:54 AM
- Anna Kauz said...
Hahaha, I love it!!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:57 AM
- quat said...
"Choco-mocha parsley clam cake, now with added pole dancers..." !!!
Thanks, Gladys, for that. It made me spew my coffee all over again. Those coffee beans on the "clams" disturb me. A Lot. And, no, I don't care to eat one.
Pole dancing cakes, herpes cakes, SYPHILIS cakes (!!!!).... who knew? Wish I didn't. - May 19, 2009 at 11:59 AM
- Ruby Re-Usable said...
ow, ow , ow , my face hurts from laughing too much and now my lap hurts from spilling hot coffee, it is all your fault, must stop reading Cake Wrecks first thing in the morning
- May 19, 2009 at 12:01 PM
- Unknown said...
Well, if you can't talk your family member out of their chosen occupation, maybe it's best to celebrate?
The STD cakes are a bit gross though. The pole dance one is funny!
~Amy B - May 19, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Ah-ha! The flesh colored mounds are leering men with parsley hair and coffee bean eyes and mouths... at least that is what I am determined to see.
- May 19, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Best cakewreck story EVER!
- May 19, 2009 at 12:07 PM
- Yota Armai said...
Fab post Jen! I especially loved the little warning at the top and how you turned seemingly no related cakes into a a little fractured fairy tale as it were.
WV = word verification, it's our chance to make up definitions for the odd word verifications that we receive in order to post our comments. Like mine is ationvo, but I don't have a witty definition for it. - May 19, 2009 at 12:13 PM
- Kathryn H said...
That's a whale of a cake for a whale of a ... disease!
- May 19, 2009 at 12:15 PM
- Ros said...
There are no words.
Well, apart from Jen's words.
My favourite is the herpes cake with the prince and princess topper. Just sets the right tone, I think. - May 19, 2009 at 12:15 PM
- Persnickety Ticker said...
And now? Just to tribute this awesome porn-esque post? I am heading straight to my kitchen to put some parsley on a princess cake.
When in Rome..er..Cake Wrecks Land!
Oh, and Marji? What planet do you hail from, dear? - May 19, 2009 at 12:22 PM
- Sydney said...
- May 19, 2009 at 12:24 PM
- Miss Kolleen said...
poor fudgey the whale :(
- May 19, 2009 at 12:25 PM
Total kudos for finding two wrecky cakes with the name "Amber" or..um.. Amber' as the case may be. Way to pull the storyline together!
- May 19, 2009 at 12:26 PM
Aelysium said...
...Syphilis blows? *dies laughing*
Also: I'm sort of new to Cake Wrecks. What's the deal with this WV thing that's in some of the comments?
WV is defining the Word Verification that you must enter to make a post. Example:
WV: Bacie - Ow! My bacie hurties from laughing at Jen's blog too much! - May 19, 2009 at 12:30 PM
- Pilgrim said...
Your commentary was hysterical!
Oh wait...
your' commentary' was' hysterical'!'
The apostrophes are silent. - May 19, 2009 at 12:31 PM
- ebidebby said...
What on earth is around the pole dancer on that last cake?
- May 19, 2009 at 12:32 PM
- Niki said...
is amber pole dancing in mounds of hummus?
- May 19, 2009 at 12:35 PM
- Unknown said...
Lol . . . people haven't been to many frat or sorority parties if they've never seen one of those "Sorry for the (insert venereal disease)" cakes. It's one of the most overdone jokes in certain college towns, yet it never seems to lose its charm. :)
Your story linking the cakes is priceless, and it almost has a child's bedtime story quality to it. :P - May 19, 2009 at 12:37 PM
- Crystal said...
Laugh. Out. Loud.
Oh my gosh what has society come to??
ha ha ha
Is it wrong that I am laughing?
Astoundingly you have outdone yourself dear. Such Great talent you have in storytelling, through, cake.
Sweet. Sweet. Sweet. - May 19, 2009 at 12:37 PM
- CaitStClair said...
Definitely best post ever!! You have outdone yourself Jen! I love it!
- May 19, 2009 at 12:38 PM
- kjl said...
I'm really hoping that most of those were jokes if not intentional wrecks.
I have to admit I probably wouldn't have left a comment except that I was so excited to share my word verification: CHARLES! That's the first time I've ever seen a real name, I think! - May 19, 2009 at 12:41 PM
- ccreatif said...
LoL! :-))) I having more fun just reading the other comments then the cakes itself.
- May 19, 2009 at 12:48 PM
- Baka-Neko said...
hello ....LOLZ !!!!!!it's so funny cause no ones prowed of there high school drop out ....and also why whold someone make the cinderella cake like that i mean really any ways this next thing i say is for any one who does not swear on blogger.......PLEASE COME TO MY BLOG !!!!!(cause if you do you'll be the first to coment!!) and also swaering is a big no no cause ... well it just is so yeah......so please come to my blog ...well if you what to .... ta-ta
- May 19, 2009 at 12:50 PM
- Carrie P said...
The "word verification" is something that you have to enter to post a comment. Kind of like an automated Spam cop to keep out, er, automated Spam-bots.
They are never real words, though. They are combinations of letters that almost, but not quite, spell out real words.
Since many cakes featured on the blog are also "spelling challenged," a lot of cake wrecks fans use the word verification on their post to compose a bit of a "Devils Dictionary," to define the word, or use it in a sentence, usually involving a pun of some sort. - May 19, 2009 at 12:50 PM
- Charlene said...
I must stop reading Cake Wrecks while my daughter sleeps. I'm sure the cackling and snorting laugher will eventually wake her up!
Thanks for making my day a little brighter! - May 19, 2009 at 12:58 PM
Maybe those aren't coffee beans; there may be olives in those ... objects.
Hi Aelysium, WV = Word Verification.
WV: tefins on the whale are well executed. - May 19, 2009 at 1:01 PM
- Books + Arts = Book Arts said...
ahahaaaa --- who doesn't want a whale-shaped syphilis cake?
.. long lips lisa ...
oh, jen, that was a wonderful story. - May 19, 2009 at 1:12 PM
- Alex H. said...
That's MY Sleeping Herpes cake! :D I'm so happy you posted it!
If you want some background info, I made a quick blog entry about it. There are more pictures and the backstory for this cake: http://www.alexheberling.com/2009/05/19/sorry-about-your-herpes
Also, the Princess Aurora/Prince Phillip figure were a wind-up thing, so they would spin around on the cake as well, "dancing." - May 19, 2009 at 1:14 PM
I don't even want to know what those things around the pole dancer are supposed to be!!! - May 19, 2009 at 1:28 PM
- Melissa (& Billy) said...
That's all. Just 0_0 - May 19, 2009 at 1:30 PM
- MaryIrene said...
Wow, that was just funny! And I haven't seen Fudgie the Whale in so long, I had almost forgotten about him! God bless Carvel!
VW - unfut: to remove ones lower appendage from his embarrassed mouth - May 19, 2009 at 1:39 PM
I want the back story on the "You're fired" cake from Amber S. since she's the one who submitted it. What kind of boss fires someone that way?
- May 19, 2009 at 1:44 PM
- Unknown said...
The syphilis cake is in the shape of a whale... who blows air! The herpes cake was hysterical as well, since it looked so beautiful but instead said "sorry about your herpes". I mean really, even if it's for a distasteful reason you can still have a beautiful cake!
Great story, Jen!
WV: menagi. seems to fite with amber's story... he he - May 19, 2009 at 2:11 PM
- Willow said...
I just spat tea all over the monitor. ;) - May 19, 2009 at 2:13 PM
Hmmmm, they are missing something... let me think.. ahh yes, they need some white curly ribbon! :)
- May 19, 2009 at 2:23 PM
- WM said...
Man...just when you think you've seen it all!
- May 19, 2009 at 2:26 PM
What in the heck are those things on the top of the pole dancers cake? They look like oysters. On second thought maybe I don't want to know...
- May 19, 2009 at 2:28 PM
- ~ L. K. said...
Amber may have had a life of STDs and whoring, but, in the end, she got cake.
- May 19, 2009 at 2:28 PM
- El Comodoro said...
I thin' Amber''s nam' 's shor' fo' somethin' lik' Amberringaroundtherosie or Amberpleadsnocontest or Amberwilldoanythingforattention. So th' apostroph' 's ther' jus' t' tak' th' plac' o' somethin' els'. Yea'?
www.captainjackmakesport.blogspot.com - May 19, 2009 at 2:43 PM
I've never heard of Carvel or Fudgie the whale. It must be only in the U.S.
- May 19, 2009 at 2:44 PM
The "albeit diseased" part of the sentence REALLY wasn't needed.
- May 19, 2009 at 2:45 PM
I'm sure that message isn't what Carvel had in mind when they created Fudgie the Whale...
I'm so glad I work in an office where if I'm caught snickering at porn/STD/pole-dancing oyster cakes (plus Jen's always-amazing commentary) my boss won't fire me but join me in guffawing. - May 19, 2009 at 2:52 PM
- Charlene said...
What do Oysters Rockefeller have to do with pole-dancing prostitutes?
- May 19, 2009 at 3:06 PM
- The Halls said...
The Syphills Blows should be the next shirt. Freakin' hysterical
- May 19, 2009 at 3:07 PM
- Our Crazy Life said...
What in the heck is on that pole dancer cake?? It looks like a bunch of tiny coochies~ well maybe huge ones if the dancer is only that big!!
- May 19, 2009 at 3:15 PM
Oh my gosh! So hilarious! Loved todays post :) And really, what was with the blobs with grass on the pole dancer cake?! Too funny!!
- May 19, 2009 at 3:16 PM
Ahahaha - that was AWESOME. Great story!
- May 19, 2009 at 3:31 PM
- Indy said...
Can't stop laughing :')
Thank you! - May 19, 2009 at 3:32 PM
- Lisa Smiley said...
hilarious. who gets these cakes!!?
- May 19, 2009 at 3:34 PM
- Patsy A said...
*dies laughing*
I'm not going to complain about the adult themes...it's a welcome break from seeing the Dora cakes from yesterday. The world is balanced again. - May 19, 2009 at 3:37 PM
>.< My name is Amber.
I can't believe those cakes exist! What a fun job to make cakes, I'm sure they get all sorts of weird orders. - May 19, 2009 at 4:25 PM
- Little Lovables said...
- May 19, 2009 at 4:59 PM
Cake Wrecks appears on this weeks Favorites of the Week at AllMyFaves.com - May 19, 2009 at 5:04 PM
"Syphilis Blows".
*whew* - May 19, 2009 at 5:05 PM
- Miranda said...
Well if they do cakes for that stuff, why didn't I get one when I wiped out on the dance floor and my wig came off?
- May 19, 2009 at 5:09 PM
- Cammie said...
OMG!!! That is hilarious! Funniest post I have ever read on Wrecks!
- May 19, 2009 at 5:11 PM
I thought those were pierogies on the last cake. But after MUCH inspection, it appears to be ice cream. Either way - EW!
- May 19, 2009 at 5:17 PM
I seriously need to know what those things on the last cake are. If I'm being honest, they look like nether regions because I have no idea what else they could be. I'm hoping they're something else though because I couldn't eat a cake with... well... you know. Boob cakes are bad enough.
- May 19, 2009 at 5:22 PM
- lisadh said...
Brilliant storytelling, Jen!
These cakes are just...just...I'm speechless.
wv: mutival - an unplugged carnival - May 19, 2009 at 5:52 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Flunking unbelievable. There are parents who are actually proud that their child has dropped out of school? Yeah, way to not go, huh? They even capitalize the "dropout" as if it were a title or something... I give up!
(BTW, shouldn't the word be two, as "drop-out"?)
Ah, well...it hardly matters NOW, does it...
Maybe the little darling can aspire to be the leader of an Underachievers Anonymous group.
" ... that's Sleeping Around Beauty!"
THAT is hilarious! >^~~^< - May 19, 2009 at 6:10 PM
- Ctal said...
Best. Post. EVER. omg.
- May 19, 2009 at 6:22 PM
- TheDaughterOfTyr said...
Wow, even with a wicked migraine this post was so worth reading.
Great work Miss Jen! - May 19, 2009 at 6:25 PM
- Jane Doe said...
Oh my. That totally made my week. I LOVE this post! :)
- May 19, 2009 at 6:51 PM
may i sincerely recommend this page? sure cake-terror abounds there!
http://www.coolest-birthday-cakes.com/ - May 19, 2009 at 6:52 PM
Omg, I am laughing until I can't breathe. I'm gasping here folks!
I love the way you wove a story with seemingly non-related cakes, the cakes themselves are cracking me up and I'm thinking that maybe the pole dancer cake should have some more black lines because those..um...mounds...look like, well SOMETHING. I see I'm not the only one who's seeing that too!
I would LOVE to know the story behind these cakes. I'm sure (I hope) that most of them are inside jokes but I really hope someone will recognize them and supply the background. Well done, Jen! - May 19, 2009 at 6:54 PM
My favorite part? The Sleeping Beauty figurines on the herpes cake. Walt Disney would be so proud!
- May 19, 2009 at 6:59 PM
- Jayme Q said...
Jen - your commentary is FABULOUS, as always! The cakes are even more disturbing than usual. And what is WITH the 'clams'? on the last cake? Is that symbolic? Or is she pole dancing on a deserted island? ::confused::
- May 19, 2009 at 7:07 PM
Did anyone else notice that the last cake was cheesecake? And the pole dancer looks to be about 10 months pregnant? Obviously it is coffee cheesecake.
- May 19, 2009 at 7:15 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Haiku Joy said...
"To apostrophize:
I address you, silent one,
oh, apostrophe!
...No one will get that pun."
It could drive me crazy; so, pray tell, what's the pun here?
(I like puns.) - May 19, 2009 at 7:16 PM
- Jennifer said...
rotfl!! I especially love the storytelling that accompanies the cakes. Without the story telling, the cakes just don't have the same effect.
- May 19, 2009 at 7:36 PM
- Belle Epoque said...
The pole dancer cake is turning me on in more ways than one...
- May 19, 2009 at 7:53 PM
- thecatsmeow said...
OMG...I think I wet myself laughing once I got over the initial shock of that one cake (with the coffee beans and all)... I had two thoughts after looking at it, neither of which were right for the kiddie set. (Like other commenters have suggested, rather inappropriate if that's what they are.) Your storytelling, though, was absolutely brilliant! Just goes to prove that even with cakes, some people have no class... and that's funny for those of us who have at least a little bit.
- May 19, 2009 at 8:17 PM
- Catherine said...
I believe the things on the pole dancer cake are supposed to be oysters.
Oysters are commonly thought to be an aphrodisiac.
Very odd. /giggle - May 19, 2009 at 8:51 PM
- Jenny Lou Who said...
What comes next? You've got to tell me what comes next!!! Amber goes straight? Gets married? Has kids? DIES? Woman you must tell me!
P.S. word verification : unceives -- that's what happens when a baby is made! - May 19, 2009 at 8:53 PM
- archersangel said...
i love amber's saga.
sounds like some odd plot line on a soap opera. - May 19, 2009 at 9:21 PM
I don't understand the pole dancer cake. Those lumpy things look like oysters with raisins on top. And neither of those things is appropriate on top of a cake. Of course, neither are pole dancers, I suppose.
- May 19, 2009 at 9:26 PM
Honestly, that's the prettiest "Sorry about your herpes" cake I've ever seen. Okay, it's the only "Sorry about your herpes" cake I've ever seen, but still, it sure is pretty...
- May 19, 2009 at 9:31 PM
- Jamie said...
What in the holy frakking frak are the beige bits on the pole-dancing cake?
- May 19, 2009 at 9:40 PM
Maybe I'm being too serious, but the pole dancer cake is very well done - looks like a typical French-type cake if you just remove that pole dancer in the middle. Those 'oysters' are just cream or mousse meant to be shaped exactly like they look - quenelle. Don't you see ice-cream and mousse and stuff served like that at restaurants?? I guess not? Not everything that decorates a cake has to realistically represent something, you know. Oh yeah, the 'parsely' are sprigs of chervil. I admit they are related to parsely though.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:12 PM
Oh my god, this is absolutely amazing. I can't believe people actually put this stuff on cakes---then proceed to take pictures of it and be proud of their work!
Alyson' - May 19, 2009 at 10:29 PM
- Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...
You have a great blog...I enjoyed my visit. Stop by and visit me when you have some time and read about our latest Disney adventures....Grandparent trips are the BEST...and every comment enters you for the May giveaway.
- May 19, 2009 at 10:32 PM
- Susan said...
Pole dancer, nothing.
I hope never again to see a cake that includes hummus, coffee beans and black pepper.
WV: kajachll.
'Nuff said. - May 19, 2009 at 11:08 PM
- sendingtheclowns said...
Jen, Jen, Jen...this is the BEST!!!
These cakes! The saga! A real tour de force, I must say.
Venereal diseases, school drop-outs, job terminations, lousy punctuation, tastelessness, pornography, ugh-ly cakes--it's got it ALL!
The best part?
The quotation marks you put around the word "adult," right from the start ("ATTN PARENTS: This post contains material somewhat "adult" in nature.").
I mean, if I were a child, I'd be thinking, "If all of this means 'adult,' then *shee-it*... I don't wanna grow up!"
I can't WAIT to get my hands on your book!
!Brava! >^~~^< - May 19, 2009 at 11:30 PM
- KK said...
- May 19, 2009 at 11:32 PM
This post made me laugh so hard my laptop fell off my laugh. No damage done, fortunantly. This is hands down, my favorite Cakewreck post, ever!
- May 19, 2009 at 11:32 PM
- elesa said...
Sleeping Beauty dancing with Superman on a herpes cake. Ah, it just seems fitting somehow.
- May 20, 2009 at 1:14 AM
- Brandy said...
Hahahahaha! I LOVE this site. I always laugh hysterically. Thanks for the laughs. :)
- May 20, 2009 at 1:27 AM
OMG! That isn't just any syphillis cake - that is a fudgey the whale Carvel Ice cream cake! Too funny.
- May 20, 2009 at 2:20 AM
- silvergirl said...
In regards to the pole cake, i'm surprised more people don't recognize Dipping Areas when they see them.
::shakes head sadly:: - May 20, 2009 at 2:29 AM
- Wicked Witch of the West (Coast) said...
These were so so SO very funny. Totally made my night.
Although, I have to wonder what the decorators thought of what people wanted written on the cakes. I mean, I know if someone called me up and told me to put some of those things in icing on a cake I'd be a little taken aback ...
but maybe that's just me. - May 20, 2009 at 3:22 AM
- Tammi said...
As someone who had cake for her UnWedding (post-divorce) party, I so totally appreciate these and people with a wacky sense of humor. :)
- May 20, 2009 at 5:38 AM
- Sparky said...
Um....on the herpes cake...is that Superman dancing with Jane Jetson? Or am I hallucinating?
Although Jane does look a bit evil... - May 20, 2009 at 7:08 AM
- Bilby P. Dalgyte said...
Hahaha! Very unfortunate she got herpes from her career :P This is seriously a hilarious post! I love it! But in a platonic sort of way. I don't wany herpes and syphilis...
- May 20, 2009 at 7:16 AM
I can see all the other cakes as normal jokey cakes, but "syphilis blows"??? On a Carvele whale cake?
I would love to know the back story on that one. - May 20, 2009 at 8:23 AM
- Jenna Lynn Cody said...
I don't think they were Photoshopped - but I think they were all made as jokes. Not specifically for Cake Wrecks but just to be funny. Especially the Herpes cake. Which I love. I want that to be the wedding cake, except there'll be decapitated clown heads in the corners.
- May 20, 2009 at 8:42 AM
- Jay said...
The pole dacing one made me feel creepy, swirly beige is not a good cake colour really is it?
But hey, cake for every blip in modern life, there's a huge industry to be tapped into there.
Bit concerned that those cakes didn't get thrown, 'cos you would really wouldn't you, when faced with a drop out cake, it would just beg to be jammed into someones face.
Sweet revenge. - May 20, 2009 at 8:43 AM
- Bree said...
Although it's totally inappropriate, that "You're Fired Cake" not only is gorgeously written, but centered nicely too!
I also noticed the pole dancer cake was cheesecake. I think that's one of the ugliest looking cakes I've seen on this blog. Good thing I don't like cheesecake! - May 20, 2009 at 9:11 AM
These cakes are truly surreal. It just shows how folks love to celebrate life's milestones (good or bad) with cake. Cakes makes everything better, right?
-WM - May 20, 2009 at 9:41 AM
I'm surprised no one said anything about the cracked, discolored icing on the "dropout" cake. Loved the storyline. These cakes reminded me of the customer on Mother's Day who wanted, "Thanks for getting knocked up" written on a cake. I tend to assume that most cakes like that are some sort of inside joke. I always wanted a Fudgie the Whale cake; it sounds good. And if I was fired via cake, I'd definitely take some cake with me when I left. At least they spelled "you're" correctly!
- May 20, 2009 at 11:12 AM
I so needed a laugh today. Thank you for providing me with one!
Love the "fired" cake. If you have to get fired you should at least get to eat some cake! - May 20, 2009 at 12:57 PM
This was awesome.
- May 20, 2009 at 1:48 PM
I think the female genitalia add penache and a hint of sophistication to the pole dancer cake, but then again, I recently suggested my DIY co-worker use mold-colored paint on the new bathroom she's building.
Another "11" on the I-can't-believe-it's-not-butter" o-meter!
Bri2k - May 20, 2009 at 2:09 PM
- 12 hour pills said...
I think this is your most brilliant post ever.
And with herpes fresh on my mind, the word verification "hamarpes" seems like a very interesting type of said disease... - May 20, 2009 at 4:47 PM
- Unknown said...
Best. Storytime. Ever.
WV: rewed. It was so good the first time, I thought I'd do it again! - May 21, 2009 at 12:06 AM
I don't think that the dropout cake is supposed to mean that they are proud s/he dropped out. I have seen people order cakes like this for when someone has gone back and finished their degree or done something else important. Such as Dave Thomas owning a franchise before he got his high school diploma. Kind of like "hey, you dropped out, but you still did something great".
- May 21, 2009 at 6:51 AM
Don't tell me people actually pay good money for cakes like this.
- May 21, 2009 at 7:53 AM
- Kay said...
They are "bearded" clams on the last cakes. I asked my employee what she saw on the last cake and she said "pole dancer, boobies, va jay-jays ohmigod!" Ah, good times.
WV= whork
an alternate word for prostitution - May 21, 2009 at 12:19 PM
Today's cakes should be called cake DRECKS, not wrecks!
- May 22, 2009 at 12:11 AM
Why are there blobs of hummus on that pole dancer cake? And the herpes cake is rather nicely done aside form slightly uneven border icing.
At least everyone was able to celebrate! - May 22, 2009 at 12:10 PM
Since the national average is that 1 in 5 people have Herpes, (Whether they know it or not, it can be asymptomatic so it gets transferred really easily. *Not kidding, look it up*), I think we need to start a competition for well done HSV cakes damnit!
- May 22, 2009 at 10:36 PM
OMG! That was great!
xo Brooke - May 26, 2009 at 2:29 PM
- Sarah said...
Holy wow! I did the Amber' one very early in my short-lived career. Just so you know -- The apostrophe was REQUESTED and I confirmed three times the spelling of the name because I didn't believe it. I don't know whether to feel shamed or ecstatic that I've made it on CakeWrecks.
- May 31, 2009 at 6:05 PM
- Sarah said...
And having read all the comments, I can answer a few questions - The "good luck with your porn career" cake was chosen out of the case, and they asked me to inscribe it right there. It was not a joke, the customers' coworker was quitting to pursue a career in porn, under the name Amber'. And for those who think it was specifically for CakeWrecks, it was purchased almost three years ago, and by far the strangest thing I've ever written on a non-joke cake!
- May 31, 2009 at 6:15 PM
SpongeBob just bought a cake that said, "Sorry about the Scabies." LOL!
- July 19, 2009 at 9:27 PM
- Haiku Joy said...
Dear Sendingtheclowns,
Here's hoping you see this, even after all this time!
Haiku Joy said...
"To apostrophize:
I address you, silent one,
oh, apostrophe!
...No one will get that pun."
It could drive me crazy; so, pray tell, what's the pun here?
(I like puns.)
The pun is on the word "apostrophe." An apostrophe is the punctuation symbol which looks just so ' . But in all the richness of the English language, an apostrophe is also when a person speaks to something that cannot respond, such as a pet, a tree, a flower, the snow.
Much poetry uses the device of apostrophe. Anytime a non-human, non-verbal entity is addressed, you may call that address an apostrophe.
In this case, I was apostrophizing the apostrophe. - September 27, 2009 at 12:11 AM
- The Runaway Lawyer said...
My 4 year old wants the herpes cake for his birthday now. Um....thanks, lol.
- October 18, 2009 at 2:55 PM
- The Rev said...
The only truly horrifying thing about all this is that Western civilization has declined so far that I couldn't immediately rule out the entire chain of events as a story made up just to link several poorly thought out cakes!
That said, this made my night. :D
WV: BUIST -- a follower of Bu, of course! - October 29, 2009 at 5:29 AM
- Hayley said...
I thought it said 'pole dancers crack'
- October 31, 2009 at 9:36 AM
The parley is for . . . accentuating the shape of the "ice cream" . . .
- December 6, 2009 at 8:29 PM
Is it just me, or does that coffee ice cream on the stripper cake look an awful lot like female genitals with coffee beans and parsley pubes?
- January 23, 2010 at 12:10 PM
This story should have been called "Forever Amber." :D
- March 18, 2010 at 12:50 PM
It is what it is. My mother always told me she and my dad be PROUD of me no matter WHAT I did. Her only request was simply that I be the best (insert occupation here) that I could be. So I can totally see my Mom & Dad giving me a "Congrats on your porn career" cake, or "we're proud of our high school dropout" - as long as I was being the BEST high school dropout syphilitic porn star with herpes that I could be.
THIS is what we get for being told to be certain that our children ALWAYS feel good about themselves. Sometimes, you SHOULD feel bad. VERY bad. - March 18, 2010 at 4:27 PM
- CHEAP VIAGRA MAN said...
what a cake!
- May 4, 2010 at 1:28 PM
yes 'anonymous' these are true. i am a victim of bakery mistakes. i ordered a simple happy birthday cake for one of my daughters. everthing was good except the inscription. the only writing on the cake was the stock order # dc-204 & that was it.
- March 27, 2011 at 10:58 AM
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Annual Evaluation - the meeting conducted on an annual basis to evaluate the Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) for a child and the child's family, and, as appropriate, to revise its provisions.Assessment - the ongoing procedures used by qualified personnel throughout the period of a child's eligibility to identify:
Child Advocate - a parent, legal guardian, surrogate parent or professional, paid or unpaid, who acts on behalf of a child and family to protect their rights and interests and ensure their access to services for which they are eligible.Due Process - the rights afforded parents/legal guardians/surrogate parents in ensuring that children and families receive the early intervention services to which they are entitled under Part C. Early Intervention - A collection of services provided by public and private agencies and designed by law to support eligible children and their families in enhancing a child's potential growth and development from birth to age three.Early Intervention Record - Any personally identifiable information about a child and or family generated by the early intervention system that pertains to evaluation and assessment, development of the IFSP and delivery of early intervention services.Evaluation - Procedures used by qualified personnel to determine a child's initial and continuing eligibility for early intervention services, consistent with the state's definition of infants and toddlers with disabilities.Interagency Coordinating Council (ICC) - the council that each state and jurisdiction participating in Part C must establish to assure coordination and cooperation of all participating agencies in implementing the early intervention program.Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) - the written plan for providing early intervention and other services to eligible children and families.Infants and Toddlers with Disabilities - children from birth to age three who are eligible for early intervention services because they:
Interim Service Coordinator - individual designated at the single point of entry to assist the referred child and family through the initial evaluation, assessment, and IFSP process.Lead Agency - the Maryland Infants and Toddlers Program/Preschool Services branch is designated within the Maryland State Department of Education as the lead agency responsible for the planning, supervision, monitoring, and technical assistance for implementing Early Intervention Services for Infants and Toddlers with disabilities.
Local Lead Agency - the agency designated by the local governing authority in each county and Baltimore City to administer the interagency system of early intervention services under the direction of the Maryland State Department of Education, which is the Maryland State lead agency.Multidisciplinary - the involvement of two or more professions in the provision of integrated and coordinated services, including evaluation and assessment activities and the development of the IFSP.Native Language - the language or mode of communication normally used by the parent of an eligible child.
Natural Environment - home or community settings that are natural or typical for a child of the same age without disabilities.Part B - Part B of the Education of Handicap Act (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act) provides free appropriate public education and education-related services to all school-age children with disabilities (ages 3-21 in most states). Part B was enacted originally in 1975 as Public Law 94-142.Part C - Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, formerly the Education of the Handicapped Act (EHA) enacted by Public Law 99-457 (reauthorize as Public Law 102-119). It establishes the early intervention program for eligible infants and toddlers birth through age two and their families.Parent - a parent, guardian, a person acting as a parent of a child, or a surrogate parent. The term does not refer to the State if the child is a ward of the State.Periodic Reviews - a review of the IFSP conducted every six months, more frequently as conditions warrant or at a family's request.Procedural Safeguards - standards and procedures to protect the rights of children, their parents, and surrogate parents under Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.Service Coordinator - the individual selected by an early intervention team and designated in an IFSP to coordinate and facilitate early intervention services and integrate the family into the process. Whether they are a service provider or veteran parent, the case manager must demonstrate understanding of the laws and nature of the process.Service Provider - a public or private agency designated to provide early intervention services for an eligible child and the child's family in accordance with an approved IFSP.Single Point of Entry - the local contact point designated to accept referrals from sources that suspect developmental delay in an infant or toddler.Transition - occurs at the age of three when a child and family are no longer eligible for services under Part C of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) . This is a collaborative process involving families, Part C and Part B programs, and as appropriate, other community-based preschool programs to ensure uninterrupted provision of appropriate services. Planning and decision making must occur well in advance of the child's third birthday.
Contact InformationDivision of Early Intervention and Special Education Services200 West Baltimore StreetBaltimore, MD 21201Phone: 410-767-0249Fax: 410-333-8165