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With the notable exception of Electronic Arts, the established American software industry was uncertain what to make of the Amiga in the wake of its initial release. Impressive as the machine was, it was also an expensive proposition from a parent company best known for much cheaper computers — and a parent company that was in a financial freefall to boot. Thus most publishers confined their support to inexpensive ports of existing titles that wouldn't break the bank if, as so many expected, neither Commodore nor their Amiga were still around in a year or so.
Disappointing as this situation was to many early Amiga adopters, it spelled Opportunity for many an ambitious would-be Amiga entrepreneur. Just as early issues of Amazing Computing, the Amiga's most respected technical magazine, carry with them some of the spirit of the original Byte magazine, of smart people joining together to figure out what this new thing is and what they can do with it, the early Amiga software scene represents the last great flowering of the Spirit of '76 that had birthed the modern software industry. Like their peers of a decade before, the early Amiga developers were motivated more by love and passion than by money, and often operated more as a collective of friends and colleagues working toward a shared purpose than as competitors — i.e., as what Doug Carlston had once dubbed a "brotherhood" of software. Cinemaware became the breakout star of this group who committed themselves to the Amiga quickly and completely; that company was soon known to plenty of people who had never actually touched an Amiga for themselves. But there were plenty of others whose distinctly non-focus-group-tested names speak to their scruffy origins: companies like Aegis, Byte by Byte, and the one destined to be the great survivor of this pioneering era, NewTek. That NewTek would be just about the only one of these companies still in business in six or seven years does say something about the trajectory of the Amiga in North America, but perhaps says just as much about the nature of the companies themselves. Once again like their peers in the early 8-bit software industry, these early Amiga publishers carried along with their commitment to relentless innovation an often shocking ineptitude at executing fundamentals of running a business like writing marketing copy, keeping books, drawing up contracts, and paying taxes.
The story of our company of choice for today, MicroIllusions, is typical enough to almost stand in for that of the early Amiga software industry as a whole. At the same time, though, "typical" in this time of rampant innovation meant some extraordinarily original software. That's particularly true of the works of MicroIllusions's highest-profile programmer, David Joiner (or, as he was better known by his friends then and still today, "Talin," his online handle). Joiner, who describes his view of the universe as of "some giant art project," has dedicated his life to being "compulsively creative," in both the digital and analog worlds. His vacuum-forming costumes, which transform him into alien space-bugs or knights in armor, have been the hit of many a science-fiction convention. He's also an enthusiastic painter — "for a long time I thought my career was going to be in art" — as well as a musician and composer.
Joiner was first exposed to computers during the four years he spent at the end of the 1970s in the Air Force, programming the big mainframes of the Strategic Air Command in Omaha. He spent the several years following his discharge kicking around the margins of the burgeoning PC industry, writing amateur and semi-professional games for the Radio Shack Color Computer among other models and working briefly for DataSoft before they went bankrupt in the industry's great mid-decade shakeout. That left him in the state in which a Los Angeles-area computer-store owner named Jim Steinert first met him: 27 years old, sleeping on friends' couches, picking up contract programming work when he could get it, and spending much of the rest of his time hanging out at Steinert's store — KJ Computer, located in the suburb of Granada Hills — drooling over their new Amigas.
The seeds of MicroIllusions were planted during one day's idle conversation when Steinert complained to Joiner that, while the Amiga supposedly had speech synthesis built into its operating system, he had never actually heard his machines talk; in the first releases of AmigaOS, the ability was hidden within the operating system's libraries, accessible only to programmers who knew how to make the right system calls. Seeing an interesting challenge, not to mention a chance to get more time in front of one of Steinert's precious Amigas, Joiner said that he could easily write a program to make the Amiga talk for anyone. He proved as good as his word within a few hours. Impressed, Steinert asked if he could sell the new program in his store for a straight 50/50 split. Given his circumstances, Joiner was hardly in a position to quibble. When the program sold well, Steinert decided to get into Amiga software development in earnest with the help of his wunderkind.
He leased an office for his new venture MicroIllusions a few blocks from his store, and also picked up the lease on a small house to form a little software-development commune consisting of Joiner and three of his friends, talented artists and/or programmers all. Joiner describes the first year or two he spent creating inside that little house as "probably the best time of my life. We really felt like we were building the future."
In these heady days when the Amiga was fondly imagined by its zealots as likely to become the new face of mainstream family-friendly computing, Steinert pushed Joiner to make as his first project an edutainment title similar to a Commodore 64 hit called Cave of the Word Wizard, in which the player must explore a cave whilst answering occasional spelling questions to proceed. Joiner's response was Discovery, which replaced the cave with a spaceship and allowed for the creation of many additional data disks covering subjects from math to history to science to simple trivia for adult players. Setting a pattern that would hold for the remainder of his time with MicroIllusions, Joiner brought all his creative skills to bear on the one-man project, drawing all of the art himself in Deluxe Paint and also writing a music soundtrack in addition to the game's code — and all in just four months. Because the Amiga would never quite conquer North America as Steinert had anticipated, the market for the Discovery line would always be a limited one, but it would prove a consistent if modest seller for MicroIllusions for years to come.
Having proved himself with Discovery, Joiner was allowed to embark on his dream project: a hybrid game — part action, part adventure, part CRPG — that would harness the Amiga's capabilities in the service of something different from anything that had come before. He wanted to incorporate two key ideas, one involving the game's fiction, the other its presentation. In the case of the former, he wanted to push past the oh-so-earnest high-fantasy pastiches typical of CRPG fictions in favor of something more whimsical, more Brothers Grimm than J.R.R. Tolkien. This territory was hardly completely unexplored in gaming — Roberta Williams in particular had built a career around her love of fairy tales — but it was unusual to see in a game that owed as much to action games and CRPGs as it did to the adventure games for which she was known. Joiner's other big idea, meanwhile, really was something entirely new under the sun: he wanted to create a world that the player would traverse not in discrete steps or even screens but as a single scrolling, contiguous landscape of open-ended, real-time possibility.
The Faery Tale Adventure is the story of three brothers who set out to save their village of Tambry from an evil necromancer. Their quest will require one or more of them — if you get one of them killed, you automatically take the reins of another — to traverse the vast world of Holm from end to end, a process that by itself could take you the player hours of real time if journeying entirely on foot. Whilst traveling, you must also fight monsters and assemble the clues necessary to complete your quest.
It's difficult to convey using words just how lovely and lyrical your journeys around Holm can be. Even screenshots don't do The Faery Tale Adventure justice; this is a game that really must be seen and heard in action. Here, then, is just a little taste, in which I take a magical ride on the back of a giant turtle to visit a sorceress in her crystalline lair.
If it's difficult to fully describe the experience of playing The Faery Tale Adventure using words, it's doubly difficult to explain just how stunning it was in its day. Note the depth-giving isometric perspective, still a rarity in games of the mid-1980s. Note the way that characters and things cast subtle shadows. And note how the entirety of the world is presented at the same scale. Gone is the wilderness/town dichotomy of the Ultima games, in which the latter blow up from tiny spots on the map to self-contained worlds of their own when you step into them. In The Faery Tale Adventure, if it's small (or big) on the outside, it's small (or big) on the inside. I'd also tell you to note the wonderful music, except that I'm quite sure you already have (assuming you have the sound turned on, of course). Seldom has music made a game what it is to quite the extent it does this one.
Leaving aside the goal of actually solving the game, which is kind of hopeless — we'll get to that in a moment — The Faery Tale Adventure is all about the rhythm of wandering, following roadways and peeking into hidden corners as the music plays and day turns to night and back again. Like another early Amiga landmark, Defender of the Crown, and unlike far too many other games on this platform and others, it has a textured aesthetic all its own that's much more memorable than the bloody action-movie pyrotechnics so typical of games then and now. Play it just a little, and you'll never, ever forget it.
That every bit of this vast world and all that makes it up — code, art, and music alike — was created virtually unaided by David Joiner in about seven months never ceases to amaze me. This Leonardo had found his niche at last:
It's ironic because when I was growing up I was never able to focus on one single creative outlet and ignore the others — and this was considered a disadvantage. People would tell me that I had to learn to focus on one thing. Otherwise I would never be successful, just be a dilettante. I struggled to find a profession which would use all of my skills, not just some of them.
Still, stunning technical and aesthetic achievement that it is, there's no denying that The Faery Tale Adventure is kind of a mess as a piece of game design. Its problems are all too typical of a game designed and implemented by a single idiosyncratic individual with, at best, limited external input. Some of the mechanical wonkiness I can live with. For instance, I'm not too bothered by the fact that, if you don't get killed in one of the first few extremely difficult fights, you level up enough inside of an hour or so to the point that fighting becomes little more than a trivial annoyance for the rest of the game. The broken character-building aspect is forgivable in light of the fact that that doesn't feel like what the game really wants to be about anyway. (That said, CRPG addicts should certainly approach this one with caution.)
But we can't so easily wave aside the broken main spine of the game, the fact that it's all but insoluble on its own terms. The Faery Tale Adventure presents itself as a breadcrumb-following game like the Ultimas, but its breadcrumbs are so scattered at some stages, so literally nonexistent at others, that it's all but impossible to piece together where to go or what to do. After exploring Holm for a while, the charm of the music and the colorful graphics begins to fade and you begin to realize what a dismayingly empty place it really is. Almost every building is vacant, virtually every hotly anticipated new voyage of discovery proves ultimately underwhelming. Moments of wonder, like the first time you hitch a ride on that turtle you see above — or, even better, on a majestic swan — do crop up from time to time, but far too infrequently. The final impression is of nothing so much as a beautiful world running inside a marvelous engine that's now just waiting for a designer to come along and, you know, write an actual game for it all. You can see contemporaneous reviewers struggling with this impression whilst giving the game the benefit of every possible doubt; The Faery Tale Adventure is nothing if not a game that makes you want to love it. Computer Gaming World's Roy Wagner, for instance, felt compelled to attach a rough walkthrough to try to make it actually playable to his very positive critical take on the game. Later, when the game was ported to the Sega Genesis, Sega found its design so intractable that they demanded that a similar walkthrough be included in the very manual. (One could wish that they had demanded that the design be properly fixed instead.) Joiner notes that his approach was to "start with a basic engine and then add detail like crazy," which does rather sound like code for "write a game engine and then try to shoehorn an actual semblance of game in there at the last minute, when you realize your deadline is looming."
Yet the fact remains that technical game-changers and audiovisual charmers like The Fairy Tale Adventure can usually get away with a multitude of design sins in the face of the gaming public's insatiable appetite for the new. Knowing he had a potential hit on his hands, Steinert determined to make a veritable Electronic Arts-style rock star out of its creator. Joiner strapped himself into his knightly armor for an inadvertently hilarious photo shoot; the end results look tacky and painfully nerdy in exactly the way that the game itself doesn't. But no matter: The Faery Tale Adventure became a hit on the Amiga after its release in early 1987 — just in time for a new influx of unabashed Amiga gamers in the form of new Amiga 500 owners — whereupon Steinert took advantage of his favored platform's halo effect by selling less compelling ports for the Commodore 64 and MS-DOS and, years later, that rather more impressive Sega Genesis translation. The game's success led to Activision signing MicroIllusions on as an "affiliated publisher," a real shot at the big time.
For better or for worse, though, Steinert just couldn't bring himself to leave behind his scruffy roots in the Amiga hacking community. Games remained only one aspect of MicroIllusions, who also developed and published such only-Amiga-makes-it-possible software as Photon Paint, the first program to let one draw and edit pictures directly in the Amiga's 4096-color HAM mode, and Cel Animator, a classical animation package crafted with the aid of Heidi Turnipseed, a veteran of Disney and Don Bluth Productions. The high-water point for MicroIllusions unsurprisingly corresponded with that of the Amiga itself in North America: 1988, when sales were trending upward and the big breakthrough seemed just around the corner. MicroIllusions was known during this period for their lavish trade-show displays — in truth, probably more lavish than they could realistically afford even then — that made them among the most prominent of the Amiga-centric software houses not named Cinemaware. That summer MicroIllusions products took up almost half of a Computer Chronicles television feature on the Amiga scene.
David Joiner demonstrated his latest project-in-progress on-air on that program: Music-X, a MIDI music sequencer that he'd created largely out of concern that the hated Atari ST was getting ahead of the Amiga when it came to music software (never underestimate the motivation provided by good old platform jingoism). By the time that Music-X appeared at last to rave reviews at the tail end of 1989, MicroIllusions was already in dire straits, their phones perpetually coming on- and off-line and rumors swirling about their alleged demise. That situation would remain largely unchanged for another two desperate years. Their plight must to some extent be linked to that of the Amiga itself, which had failed to ever take off as Steinert had confidently expected when purchasing all that lavish trade-show floor space. It also didn't help that, while they released a number of other modestly well-reviewed games, they never managed another transformative hit to come close to The Faery Tale Adventure. Thanks to that failure, Activision humiliatingly dropped them as an affiliated publisher barely a year after signing them up, citing the low sales of their latest games as just not making it worth anyone's while anymore. Even an unexpected high-profile deal with Hanna-Barbera to produce games based on cartoon franchises like Scooby Doo, The Flintstones, and The Jetsons — truly a lifeline if ever there was one — collapsed amid allegations of breached contracts and botched schedules.
One suspects that the real cause behind these failures and so many others was a nemesis of MicroIllusions's own making that also plagued many others in the Amiga's home-grown software industry: a simple lack of business acumen, and with it an associated tendency to place dreams before ethics. Rather than belabor the point too much more personally, I'll deliver David Joiner's take on Jim Steinert's idea of running a business:
My financial relationship with MicroIllusions was long and complicated. Jim wasn't a good businessman. That was not unusual for the software industry at the time, but there was so much wide-open opportunity that any half-competent person could start a software business and be moderately successful.
Jim and I also differed in our approach to business ethics. He imagined himself to be a sharp dealer, and once boasted to me how he "saved money" in dealing with disk-duplication companies. You see, at the time there were companies which would do all the duplication work — that is, make copies of the floppy disks, print the packaging, and assemble the boxes. And many of these companies offered ninety-day terms — that is, you didn't have to pay for ninety days, so you could use the money you made selling the product to pay back the duplicators. This made it possible to be an entrepreneur with very little startup capital, other than the sweat equity of writing software.
Well, Jim's idea was that when the ninety days come up you simply refuse to pay — and then, eight months later when the duplicators eventually get around to suing you, you settle out of court for like one-third of the money. This same kind of playing fast and loose with the rules is what caused him to lose the Hasbro [sic. — I believe he means Hanna-Barbera] contract, which up to that point had been an incredibly valuable asset to the company.
Many years later, I went over all the royalty statements I had gotten from MicroIllusions, and discovered that there were lots of basic arithmetic errors in them — and not always in Jim's favor.
The story of MicroIllusions is hardly unique among the companies we've encountered in this history, having much in common with that of many of the immediately preceding generation of software pioneers: companies like California Pacific, Muse, and Adventure International. Enthusiasm and programming talent can only make up for a lack of basic business acumen for so long. Despite it all, MicroIllusions somehow survived, at least nominally, through 1991, when their remaining assets, including The Faery Tale Adventure, were acquired by a new company called HollyWare who used the contracts they had purchased to launch a fruitless $10 million lawsuit against a now sorely ailing Activision for allegedly mishandling that old distribution deal. As an Amazing columnist wrote as the suit went into discovery, "The really interesting thing to discover is how MicroIllusions expects to get ten megabucks out of a company with a negative net worth." HollyWare, needless to say, didn't last very long.
By then Joiner had long since moved on to greener pastures in games and other forms of software development, although he would never again helm quite so impactful a project as The Faery Tale Adventure. The writing had been on the wall for software Leonardos even as he was creating his masterwork. Working with a new development team who called themselves The Dreamer's Guild, he did belatedly create Halls of the Dead: The Faery Tale Adventure II in 1997. In the tradition of its predecessor, it looked and initially seemed to play great, but showed itself over time to be half-finished and well-nigh uncompleteable.
In the end, then, the business legacy of MicroIllusions is a bit of a tawdry one, one more example of a phenomenon that would always plague the Amiga: the platform seemed to attract idealists and shysters in equal numbers — and, somehow, often in the same individual. Yet it's because its story is both so groundbreaking and so typical that the company makes such a worthwhile case study for anyone wishing to understand the oft-dirty life and times of the Amiga in its heyday. During MicroIllusion's brief existence they produced some visionary software that, like so much else that came out of the Amiga scene, gave the world an imperfect glimpse of its multimedia future. That's as true of Photon Paint, the progenitor of photographic-quality visual editors like PhotoShop, as it is of Music-X, a forerunner of easy-to-use music packages like GarageBand. And, most importantly for our purposes, it's true of The Faery Tale Adventure, a rough draft of what games might come to be in the future. It's a game that's perhaps best appreciated in the context of its time, as I'm so able to do thanks to all of the research — okay, playing of old games — I do for this blog. It stands out so dramatically from its contemporaries that it gave me a catch in my throat when I first saw it again that wasn't that different from the one I felt when I saw it for the first time back in 1987. That's a feeling that may be hard for you to entirely duplicate if you're not a really — I mean, really — dedicated reader who's playing all these games right along with me. But no matter. If you have an hour or two to kill, give it a download, [1]The music at the beginning of the game is a distorted mess in this version, the only otherwise working one I could find. This is down to one of the few differences between the Amiga 1000, for which the game was originally designed, and later Amiga models — a sound pointer doesn't get automatically set in the latter. If you just give it a moment, the music will resolve from dissonance to consonance and will play as it should henceforward. I think it's kind of a cool effect, actually — but then I occasionally blast Sonic Youth, much to my wife's chagrin, so take that with a grain of salt.
Note that you will need to answer a few copy-protection questions at the beginning by using the map included in the zip.
For those of you who are hopeless completionists, I've also included with this zip the Computer Gaming World review that gives much valuable guidance on how to pursue your (otherwise almost certainly futile) quest.
By far the easiest way to get started in Amiga emulation and to play this game and the other Amiga games I'll be featuring in this blog for quite some time to come is by purchasing Cloanto's Amiga Forever package. It makes the whole process pretty painless. fire up an Amiga emulator, and just have a little wander through Holm. Never did a bad game feel — and sound — so good.
(Sources: Computer Gaming World of February 1988 and October 1991; Commodore Magazine of September 1989; Amazing Computing of August 1987, April 1988, June 1988, August 1989, October 1989, March 1990, April 1990, October 1991, December 1991, and April 1992; Info of April 1992. The home page of David Joiner (Talin) hasn't been updated since 2000, but was nevertheless very useful. Still more useful was an interview with Joiner done by Amiga Lore.)
↑1 | The music at the beginning of the game is a distorted mess in this version, the only otherwise working one I could find. This is down to one of the few differences between the Amiga 1000, for which the game was originally designed, and later Amiga models — a sound pointer doesn't get automatically set in the latter. If you just give it a moment, the music will resolve from dissonance to consonance and will play as it should henceforward. I think it's kind of a cool effect, actually — but then I occasionally blast Sonic Youth, much to my wife's chagrin, so take that with a grain of salt.
Note that you will need to answer a few copy-protection questions at the beginning by using the map included in the zip. For those of you who are hopeless completionists, I've also included with this zip the Computer Gaming World review that gives much valuable guidance on how to pursue your (otherwise almost certainly futile) quest. By far the easiest way to get started in Amiga emulation and to play this game and the other Amiga games I'll be featuring in this blog for quite some time to come is by purchasing Cloanto's Amiga Forever package. It makes the whole process pretty painless. |


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Bobby Jenks's bad back has landed him on the disabled list for the third time this season.
Lefty Randy Williams has been called up from Pawtucket and Tommy Hottoty has been designated for assignment.
Carl Crawford played five innings in left field for the PawSox last night, going 1-for-2 with a walk and an RBI.


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A Gem of a Star
Zeta Geminorum is often called the "kneecap" of the constellation Gemini. |
Zeta Geminorum, a luminous, giant, cepheid variable star, pulsates in our galaxy at a distance of about 1100 light years from Earth. It's brilliant light is easily observable in the winter nighttime sky with the unaided eye, above and to the northeast of the constellation Orion, the hunter. As a cepheid variable star, Zeta Gem pulsates with a regular period, alternately expanding and contracting due to instabilities within the star. The ancient Arabic name for Zeta Gem is "Mekbuda," which means, "pulled-in-paw." Perhaps the ancient Arabs noticed the variability of this star and associated it with claws that can be extended or retracted.
Julius F. J. Schmidt, who later became a famous selenographer (cartographer of the moon), suspected the variability of Zeta Geminorum in 1844, when he was still a teenage amateur. Three years later, in 1847, when a student at Bonn University studying under the great variable star astronomer, F. Argelander, Schmidt confirmed the discovery of Zeta Gem. An extremely well-organized manuscript of J. F. J. Schmidt's observations from the 1840s to 1870s currently resides in the archive room at AAVSO headquarters in Massachusetts. These observations were sent to the director of the Harvard College Observatory at the time, Edward C. Pickering, by the Potsdam Observatory, where Schmidt's papers were deposited post mortem. The AAVSO, the largest variable star organization in the world with headquarters located in the Harvard College Observatory until 1954, received the observations from Pickering and now keep them stored safely in an archive room with other variable star observations. Among the observations are Schmidt's first estimates of Zeta Gem. There are several comments written in German throughout his records and in 1844 he notes (translated to English), "I first became attentive to the variability of z, in March." Then in April of the same year he writes of Zeta Gem, "...the observations before 1844, belonging to my first attempt, are very imperfect." See Figure 1 for an excerpt from Julius Schmidt's observation logbook.
The Rythym of the Cepheid Beat
Since its discovery in the 1840s, Zeta Gem has run through about 5,492 cycles with great regularity. It varies from its dimmest visual magnitude of 4.2 to its brightest magnitude of 3.6, and back to 4.2 again, every 10.15 days. This star is a pulsating variable that brightens and fades due to the expansion and contraction of its surface layers. Pulsating stars may pulsate radially or nonradially. In the case of a radially pulsating star, the star remains spherical in shape, while in the case of nonradial pulsations, the star's shape periodically deviates from a sphere. Astronomers have divided pulsating variables into different categories according to their period values, the mass and evolutionary status of the star, and on the scale of pulsational phenomena within the star. Figure 2 shows some of these groupings, while the finer distinctions can be found in the GCVS.
Figure 2. Table of Pulsating variables and estimates of their period ranges. Credit: Table 14.1, Ostlie and Carroll, 1996. |
For an animated look at how Cepheid brightness changes with pulsation, click here. (Animation credit: STScI.)
Zeta Gem is a Delta Cephei (or Classical Cepheid) star which is a class of pulsating variables that are characterized by a change in brightness of several hundreths to 2 magnitudes and by extremely regular periods of just 1 to 135 days. Cepheids are luminous white or yellow giants, commonly at spectral class F at maximum and G or K at minimum, and may form a link between the red-giant and main sequence phase of stellar evolution. They are found in the region of the Hertzprung Diagram known as the instability strip, where hydrogen depleted stars experience helium burning (the triple alpha process) in their cores and outer shells. Perhaps the most important characteristic of Cepheid variables is the relation that exists between their periods and intrinsic luminosities, in the sense that the brighter stars have the longer periods.
Cepheids can be further divided into more specific subclasses. Two major subclasses of Cepheids include the Delta Cephei stars and the W Vir stars. Delta Cephei type pulsating variables also known as classical cepheids are comparatively young objects and belong to the galactic disk population (Population I stars). They are supergiants, and in general are of the luminosity class Ib and obey the well-known Cepheid period-luminosity relation. By contrast, the W Virginis stars belong to the galactic spherical component (old disk) population and follow a slightly different period-luminosity relationship. For an equal period value, the W Vir variables are fainter than the Delta Cep stars by 0.7 - 2 mag. For a more thorough discussion of Delta Cephei and the Cepheid class of stars visit the Variable Star of the Month featuring Delta Cephei.
The top image is a light curve of Zeta Gem displaying the symmetric characteristic of its light curve. The bottom image shows the distinctive "fin-like" shape of the Delta Cep light curve. |
Our sparkling star, Zeta Gem, is classified as a Delta Cephei type variable despite a rather blatant deviation from its prototype star. Delta Cep stars display a distinctive "fin-like" shape, characterized by a steep rise to maximum, a brief pause while at its brightest, and then a gradual decline to minimum. Zeta Gem, however, has a rather symmetric light curve, with the declining and rising phases each taking half of the 10.15-day cycle. In some instances, there also seems to be a "hump" on the ascending branch of Zeta Gem. Regardless of this disparity, Zeta Gem has a period of 10.15 days, a .6 change in magnitude and a period-luminosiy relation that classifies it among the Delta Cephei type pulsating variable stars.
Cepheids and the Third Dimension
Classical Cepheids, including Zeta Gem, are some of the most important astronomical objects in the sky. They extend our understanding of the universe and are essential in determining extragalactic distance scales.
Cosmology and Distance Measurements
How old is the universe? How fast is it expanding? Will it one day start to contract? These are fundamental cosmological questions that have long awaited satisfactory answers. The fate of the universe is closely linked with the future behaviour/evolution of its expansion rate. If the expansion slows down sufficiently then the Universe may one day start to recontract. Observations currently suggest that it is more likely that the Universe will continue to expand forever (ESO/ESA, p.3).
The expansion makes all galaxies recede from a given observer (i.e. Earth) and the farther away they are, the faster they recede. The expression known as Hubble's law (formulated by Edwin Hubble in 1929) describes the relation between the distance of a given object and its recession velocity. Hubble's law is:
v = H0 · D
It states that the galaxies in our Universe are flying away from each other with a velocity, v, proportional to the distance, D, between them. H0 is a fundamental property of the Universe - the Hubble constant - important in many cosmological questions and is a measure of how fast the Universe is expanding today. The age of the Universe, t, can be approximated by the inverse (or reciprocal) of the Hubble constant H0:
t = 1/H0
The value of H0 has enormous significance for estimates of the age of our Universe. But how do we measure it? To determine H0, we 'simply' need to measure both the recession velocity, v, and the distance, D, for an object, usually a galaxy, or, even better, for many galaxies and find the average measurement.
The recession velocity is relatively easy to determine because we can measure the so-called redshift of the light from a galaxy. Redshift is the name used to describe the displacement of spectral lines in the radiation received from a source due to its motion away from the observer. The spectral lines are shifted toward the red end of the electromagnetic spectrum and so the term redshift is used (blueshifted light is displaced toward the blue end of the spectrum and reflects motion approaching the observer). Galaxies with a high redshift have high recession velocities.
Cepheids as Distance Estimators — the Period-Luminosity Relation
Measuring the distance to an astronomical object is much more difficult and is one of the greatest challenges facing astronomers. Over the years a number of different distance estimators have been found, one of these is the class of variables to which Zeta Gem belongs, the Cepheid variables.
Henrietta S. Leavitt |
Henrietta Swan Leavitt, working with Cepheids, revolutionized the understanding of relative brightness and variability of stars. Out of 20,000 pulsating variable stars catalogued by astronomers today, Miss Leavitt (1868-1921), discovered more than 10% of these while working for Edward Charles Pickering at Harvard University. Her tedious task was to compare two photographs of the same field of stars taken at different times, and detect any star that varied in brightness. Eventually she discovered 2400 classical Cepheids, most of them located in the Small Magellanic Cloud (SMC), with periods between 1 and 50 days. Leavitt took advantage of this opportunity to investigate the nature of the classical Cepheids in the SMC. Noticing that the more luminous Cepheids had longer periods, she plotted the apparent magnitudes of these stars against their pulsation periods. The resulting graph, shown in Fig. 3 demonstrates that the apparent magnitudes of classical Cepheids are closely correlated with their periods. But what about the intrinsic luminosities? Do some of these stars appear brighter just because they are closer to us, or are they really intrinsically brighter stars? The small variations in distance to the individual Cepheid variable stars in the Cloud is negligible compared with the much larger distance to the SMC, so the distances to these cepheids is assumed to be the same. Since they are the same distance away, then the differences in apparent brightness among these stars must be due to differences in their intrinsic brightnesses (or luminosities). Thus a relation between intrinsic luminosity (absolute magnitude) and the period of a cepheid star could now be determined. The wonderful potential of this period-luminosity relation, is that now, when observing the period of any Cepheid star, one can deduce its intrinsic brightness or luminosity.
Astronomers were excited at the prospect of determining the absolute magnitude of a distant Cepheid simply by timing its pulsation, because knowing both a star's apparent and absolute magnitudes allows the distance of the star to be easily determined by way of the distance modulus [ m - M = 5log10(d) - 5 where m is the apparent magnitude, M is the absolute magnitude and d is the distance ] . The only stumbling block was the calibration of Leavitt's relation. An independently determined distance to a single Cepheid had to be obtained to measure its absolute magnitude and luminosity. Once this difficult chore was accomplished, the resulting period-luminosity relationship could be used to measure the distance to any Cepheid. This relation for Cepheid variables has been revised many times since Henrietta Leavitt's first measurements. Today the best estimate of the relation is:
where M is the absolute magnitude of the star and P is the period measured in days. (ESA/ESO, p. 8).
Thus Classical Cepheids provide astronomy with its third dimension and supply the foundation for the measurement of extragalactic distances. Because Cepheids are supergiant stars (luminosity class Ib), about fifty times the Sun's size and thousands of times more luminous, they can be seen over intergalactic distances. They serve as "standard candles," beacons scattered throughout the night sky that serve as mileposts for astronomical surveys of the universe.
Zeta Gem Settles the Score
An aerial view of the Palomar Testbed Interferometer, funded by NASA to demonstrate technology for ground-based interferometry. Light collected by three small telescopes in the three small buildings is directed through pipes to the central beam combining building. The separation among the three telescopes is 110 meters. |
In a recent landmark observation, the period-luminosity relationship was improved by a factor of three due to direct observations of our Cepheid variable star of the month, Zeta Gem. Earlier astronomers inferred the size of the oscillations indirectly, through the well-known phenomenon of the Doppler shift. Seeing the size change directly, however, has been a daunting challenge in precision astronomy. Given Zeta Geminorum's diameter as seen from Earth, observing it grow and shrink would be the equivalent to spotting a basketball on the moon. To accomplish this feat, a five-person research team from the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena used two telescopes linked into a 110-meter-wide interferometer, the Palomar Testbed Interferometer (PTI) in California. The PTI has as much angular resolving power as a telescope with a mirror larger than a football field. By December 1999 graduate student Ben Lane of the research team already had clear evidence of the star's growth and shrinking, and by the Spring of 2000 he had the most accurate estimate ever of the angular size of the oscillations. Then, by dividing the angular size of the oscillations into their absolute size (as inferred from redshift measurements), Lane calculated the distance of Zeta Geminorum as 1100 light-years from Earth (Lane, 2000).
Researchers using the Infrared and Optical Telescope Array (IOTA) located on top of Mt. Hopkins, Arizona, have recently made independent observations of Zeta Gem, that are very close to the measurements obtained by the Lane research team (Kervella, P. et. al., 2001).
The significance of these observation is great and it holds exciting possibilities for our understanding of the universe. Jeremy Mould, an astronomer at the Australian National University in Canberra says, "In time, measurements like these will simplify and therefore strengthen astronomers' measurements of the distances of galaxies, and thus the size and age of the universe" (Daily InScight, 2000).
Observing Zeta Gem
Click images to enlarge. Can you find Zeta Gem in the night sky? |
Can you see the pulsations of Zeta Gem? Well.... you probably won't be able to measure the star's physical changes as precisely as the research teams using large interferometers, however, Zeta is a bright variable high in the sky right now and you should be able to detect changes in its brightness. The observing activity in the AAVSO educational project, Hands-On Astrophysics will help you locate and observe Zeta Gem if you are new to variable star observing. First find Orion the Hunter, then look above and to the left of Orion to locate Gemini. Castor and Pollux are the most conspicuous stars in the constellation. Gemini will appear about the same size as your hand held at arm's length. The chart at the left shows the location of Zeta Gem (circled) and some of the bright stars in Gemini. The magnitudes are given for several non-variable stars. These stars are the comparison stars that you will use to estimate the magnitude of Zeta Gem. The most convenient stars to use as comparison stars are Lambda Gem (below and to the left of Zeta) at visual magnitude 3.6, and Nu (to the right of Zeta) at magnitude 4.2 (both are underlined). Zeta Gem varies approximately between these two magnitudes. For example, if the brightness of Zeta appeared to be halfway between the brightness of Lambda and Nu, you would estimate its magnitude as 3.9. If Zeta appears only slightly fainter than Lambda, you would estimate the magnitude as 3.7.
If you are new to estimating the brightness of variable stars, try our powerpoint presentation on the website called the Variable Star Telescope Simulator. Also, the Hands-On Astrohpysics website, manual, and video contain valuable resources to the new observer on how to make estimates of a variable star. Finally, the Manual for Visual Observing of Variable Stars is a comprehensive guide to variable star observing and is also available on our website.
Finder chart and light curve for Zeta Gem. Sky and Telescope illustration. |
Once you have located Gemini, Zeta Gem, and the comparison stars Lambda and Nu in the night sky, you are ready to start observing the variation in brightness of Zeta Gem and recording your observations. Follow the instructions in the Zeta Gem activity for more information on recording your observations, and visit our Contributing Data section of the website to learn how to submit your observations to be included in the AAVSO International Database.
Happy Observing!!
Gemini (the Twins)From the HOA Manual and Star Lore of All Ages:
Castor and Pollux accompanied Jason and the Argonauts in their search for the Golden Fleece, and had many great adventures. Afterwards, Castor was killed during a cattle raid. Pollux, who was immortal, mourned for his brother and wanted to follow him into Hades (the underworld). Zeus took pity on his son Pollux and allowed him and his brother to visit on alternate days Hades and Mount Olympus (where the gods lived). Among the ancients, and particularly among the Romans, there prevailed a superstition that Castor and Pollux often appeared at the head of their armies, and led on their troops to battle and victory.
Castor and Pollux were a common object of adjuration among the Romans, and the slang of the present day, "By Jiminy," is a survival of the old Roman oath. |
For More Information
- Ashbrook, J.; "Astronomical Scrapbook: Julius Schmidt and His Book About Lunar Eclipses", Sky and Telescope, March, 1977, p. 173.
- Cambell, Leon and Jacchia, Luigi. The Story of Variable Stars, Harvard Books on Astronomy, 1941.
- Mackenzie, Dana "Measuring a Giant's Sighs", Science Magazine, 27 September, 2000.
- The ESA/ESO Astronomy Exercises Series, "The Distance to M100 as Determined By Cepheid Variable Stars", Based on observations with the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope.
- Goldberg, L. and Aller, L.H.; Atoms, Stars, and Nebulae, Harvard Books on Astronomy, 1943.
- Hands-On Astrophysics, "Winter Variable Star Observing Activity in the Constellation Gemini".
- Kervella, P. et. al., "The Angular diameter and distance of the Cepheid z Geminorum", Astronomy and Astrophysics, 367, 876-883, 2001.
- Lane, B.F., Kuchner, M.J., Boden, A.F., Creech-Eakman, M., and Kulkarni, S.R., "Direct detection of pulsations of the Cepheid star z Gem and an independent calibration of the period-luminosity relation", Nature, 407, 485-487, 2000.
- Olcott, William Tyler; Star Lore of All Ages, New York, 1911.
- Ostlie, Dale A. and Carroll, Bradley W.; An Introduction to Modern Stellar Astrophysics, Weber State University, 1996.
- Turner, David G.; "Monitoring The Evolution of Cepheid Variables", The Journal of the American Association of Variable Star Observers, 26, 101-111, 1998.
This month's Variable Star of the Month was prepared by Kate Davis, AAVSO Technical Assistant, Web.


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There's so much to treasure this holiday season: being with family and friends, resting from work, and reflecting on the love and peace that are wrapped up within the Christmas celebration. It's also that special time of year when dōTERRA® makes Frankincense and Myrrh essential oils even more accessible than usual, thanks to the biblical gifts of the Magi (we won't hold our breath waiting for a promotion on the gold portion of that traditional gift combo, though).
Do you already know what you'll do with your holiday gifts of Frankincense and Myrrh, or do you need some ideas? These ancient oils with sacred histories can seem a bit intimidating at first; but kingly Frankincense and nurturing Myrrh are simple to work into your daily life, as we'll see in the following skin-soothing recipes. We're concentrating on what these two precious oils can do when applied directly to the skin because that is precisely where they deliver their maximum supportive benefits. To start off, because cold weather can be tough on skin and cuticles, we'll tailor-make a cream to serve them.
To mix up homemade Balancing Myrrh Balm, you'll need:
• 2 tablespoons shea butter
• 1 teaspoon beeswax
• 1 tablespoon Fractionated Coconut Oil
• 7 drops Myrrh oil
In a small glass container, combine shea butter, beeswax, and Fractionated Coconut Oil. Place glass container in a saucepan holding 1 to 1 1/2 inches boiling water. (You might instead use a double boiler, if you have one.) Stir ingredients for 5-10 minutes or until combined, using a popsicle stick for easy cleanup. Once melted, remove container from heat and let rest for 3 minutes. Add Myrrh essential oil and stir. At this point, either let mixture harden in your original glass container for 2-3 hours, or pour into prepared gift container and let it harden there. To use the balm, just apply a small amount to cuticles and gently rub until it absorbs.
This rich cuticle cream is a winning way to restore moisture and health to the nail area, and it can also be used on hands, lips, or anywhere else dry spots may develop. In fact, if you add a few drops of your favorite aromatic oil along with the Myrrh, you can even use this balm as a perfume! When the balm hits warm skin, it will disperse the sweet scent of whichever oils are wrapped up inside.
Although winter has a way of bringing on occasional skin dryness, you'll want to use your Frankincense and Myrrh to support healthy, beautiful skin year-round! The next recipe combines these two treasured essences with a few other classic oils in a form that's ideal for quick relief from razor-related discomfort.
A batch of Rich Soothing Serum calls for:
• 1/2 cup Fractionated Coconut Oil
• 1/4 cup rosewater (available at health food stores)
• 5 drops Frankincense
• 5 drops Myrrh
• 5 drops Lavender
• 5 drops Tea Tree
• 5 drops Helichrysum
Place Fractionated Coconut Oil and rosewater in glass spray or pump bottle, decorating as desired to create a holiday gift to spark cheer and wellness in those around you. Add essential oils and shake. To use, spray directly onto skin, or place 2-3 pumps in palms and rub onto areas that have been overly affected by the pass of a razor.
Traditionally revered, Frankincense and Myrrh are well known for centuries of supporting beauty, health, and regeneration. Secure these treasured oils of the season now, and you'll be grateful to have them on hand throughout the year. As wise men in that famous historical account knew, they make wonderfully practical gifts!


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Let us know your post-construction needs and Pro Clean Building Services LLC will provide you with a reasonable quote and a date that we can get it done!


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This post originally appeared at http://uvenus.org/2010/06/30/loyalty-or-desperation/
Loyalty or Desperation?
I didn't teach last semester (Winter 10). It was the first time I had been out of the classroom, away from students, for almost 10 years. And it wasn't because I didn't have the opportunity to teach, it's because I decided that I didn't like the conditions under which I would be teaching.
Go anywhere online that talks about issues in higher ed (Chronicle, Inside Higher Ed, countless blogs) and you can read about the current plight of teachers at colleges and universities. Increasing reliance on adjunct teachers and harsh punishment for any sign of disloyalty from those who are lucky enough to hold full-time/tenure-track appointments. I, to some, showed my disloyalty by refusing to teach a class whose timing would severely impact my quality of life, turning the course down at the last minute while I waited to see if another opportunity came through so we could make the bills.
"Roxie Smith" wrote on her blog about academic loyalty/disloyalty in regards to a (female) provost who was fired by the (male) president of their university for looking for another job. She writes that there has been a "shift in the academy from a decentralized administrative structure to the much more centralized, top-down model that has taken hold as universities have come to be run more like corporations in recent years. We deplore that shift in part because it encourages -- even, indeed, forces -- faculty to think of themselves as independent contractors rather than as members of a collective with a stake in the future of the institution."
I don't know anyone, other than the administrative assistants and the professor who hired me, where I am currently teaching. I don't have any motivation, either. I was told upfront that I would never get a full-time job there because my specialty and interests were not a priority. Can I help it if I adapt as mercenary approach to being an adjunct as they take towards adjuncts? Nothing personal, just business. I am dedicated to the students I teach, but not to the institution. I now consider myself an independent educator. No one owns me or my loyalty. Is it any surprise, then, that institutions that too heavily rely on contingent faculty have problems with retention and completion rates?
This is not to say that I am not dedicated to trying to change higher ed for the better; I've decided to think big instead. When I read articles that claim that higher ed still cares about students, academic freedom, etc, I wonder if change can really come from within. It's one thing to care, it's another thing to actually do something about it. I have written elsewhere that women especially hit a glass ceiling because they make up such a huge percentage of the contingent faculty ranks and are thus cut off from ascending the ranks of administration where they can truly have an impact. So, I'm breaking rank and going at it differently.
A colleague asked me about what message this teachers our younger generation, when we become so disloyal to institutions that were at one time the bedrock of our culture and society? I respond by asking what lesson am I teaching my daughter if she sees me working long, horrid hours for basically nothing, increasingly doing volunteer work in the slim hope that one day the institution will reward me for my hard work and "loyalty"? And every year watching me stress out because I don't know if I will have enough courses to pay the bills, qualify for heath insurance? And every time there is a position opening, watching me go from hope to despair as the job goes to another (usually external) candidate?
Loyalty is important. But, my loyalty has to be earned. I want to teach my children that you do not reward people or institutions who abuse and exploit you with your loyalty. I refuse to let them confuse loyalty with desperation.
A blog about education, higher ed, teaching, and starting my own education business.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
1 comment:
- AnonymousJuly 20, 2010 at 12:13 AM
Sad, but you're right on the money. I'd rather set the right example for my child than tow the line for an institution that looks at me as expendable.
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Lámpara Solar Para Camping Moreka LJ5800 Usb, Power Bank Básic
- Product SKU: 43068323234039
- Category: home and garden, Lightning
Lámpara Portatil LED para Acampar para camping,
farol de acampada de LED recargable y linterna portátil para exterior, camping, etc., plegable y extensible
lámpara solar recargable para camping. ésta es una linterna 2 en 1.
Se puede utilizar como linterna para camping (para encenderla se ha de tirar hacia arriba y para apagarla hay que empujar hacia abajo),
o como una linterna normal de mano.
Medidas:9 X 9 X 13CM
Lámpara Portatil LED para Acampar para camping,
farol de acampada de LED recargable y linterna portátil para exterior, camping, etc., plegable y extensible
lámpara solar recargable para camping. ésta es una linterna 2 en 1.
Se puede utilizar como linterna para camping (para encenderla se ha de tirar hacia arriba y para apagarla hay que empujar hacia abajo),
o como una linterna normal de mano.
Medidas:9 X 9 X 13CM
- Purchases of less than $499 will be quoted the shipment according to the customer's choice, at the time of payment several packages are offered with different delivery times where you can choose the one of your preference.
- If the amount of your purchase is greater than $499 and less than $2,500, shipping is Free.
- If the amount of your purchase is greater than $2,500, shipping is charged at $220 for a box of up to 30 kilos or 30 Volumetric kilos, whichever is greater. In case of exceeding that weight or requiring more boxes, these will be charged separately, it could there will be an additional charge for extended area, regardless of the amount of purchase, the packages will be sent by FEDEX Terrestrial with an approximate time of 3 to 5 business days, in case there is any additional charge for the aforementioned, we will contact you to request payment, we have several means of payment independent of the initial purchase, either by OXXO, SPEI, credit card, convenience stores, etc., The order will not be processed until 100% is paid, including shipping. In the event that Estafeta does not reach the destination, we can offer other means of shipment that will be quoted for your approval and payment.
- RETURN Return procedure Unless otherwise established in the particular conditions of sale, all Products purchased at Moreka Shop may be returned and reimbursed, provided that the Customer notifies Moreka Shop in writing of his intention to return the Products purchased within a maximum period of 10 (ten) calendar days from the date of delivery of the order, indicated by the courier and parcel company that delivered it, in the corresponding tracking guide, and provided that the Client complies with the rest of the the Conditions of Sale Moreka Shop. Once the period of 10 (ten) calendar days has ended, Moreka Shop will not accept returns for Product purchases. The Client will not be entitled to the return of Products purchased in the following cases: (i) in the case of Products made according to the Client's specifications or clearly personified; (ii) sound or video recordings, discs, iPad or iPhone accessories, electronics, computer programs, creams, cosmetics and perfumes that have been unsealed by the Client, as well as computer programs, supplied electronically, capable of being downloaded or reproduced immediately for permanent use, and (iii) daily press, periodicals and magazines. For reasons of hygiene and health, Moreka Shop will not accept returns of articles or underwear, erotic articles and food. Moreka Shop will only accept returns when the following requirements are met: 1. The Product must be returned in the same state in which it was delivered and its original packaging and labeling must be kept, as far as possible. In the case of bulky Products, it will be essential to keep the original packaging. 2. The shipment must be made using the same box or envelope in which the Product was originally sent, or failing that, in a similar format that guarantees the return in perfect condition. 3. A copy of the return receipt must be included, which can be printed from the Website, inside the package, where the returned Product(s) and the reason for the return are also marked. In order to facilitate the return process for Users and/or Customers and to be able to properly monitor it, Moreka Shop establishes as the only return procedure where the customer sends the product to our Distribution center in Guadalajara on their own. findable on the Website. If the reason for the return is attributable to Moreka Shop (it is not the one that the Client had requested), the use of this service will be free for the Client in question. If the reason is another (the Products were delivered correctly but they are not to the Customer's liking or the Guarantee applies), Moreka Shop will pay the cost of the Products except the return shipping costs, which are currently MXN$220.00. The respective refund will be made through the same payment method that the Client used to make the purchase. In the event that the client requires that the product be sent to him due to a Warranty issue, we need to receive the damaged product for evaluation, then we will send the new product at no cost. Customer Refunds The return of the Product(s) will give rise to a refund equal to the cost of the returned Product(s), less the cost of the service that may be applicable. Only in the event that the Products delivered are incorrect, Moreka Shop will also reimburse the Customer for the corresponding shipping costs. Returns and partial cancellations will result in partial refunds. Moreka Shop will manage the refund as soon as possible through the same payment method that the Client has used to make the purchase, from the confirmation of arrival at the warehouse of the returned order. Depending on the payment method and the bank, the terms to see the refund reflected may vary. If in 14 (fourteen) calendar days it is still not possible to view the refund, we recommend that the Client contact their bank.
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Ninja Tryouts
Every one is funnier than the last!
Unfortunate Caption…
News alert: Jackson family members travel to private funeral at Forest Lawn Cemetry…
… England and Australia prepare to fight over Ashes.
Does Santa Exist?
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total – 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second – a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload – not even counting the weight of the sleigh – to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison – this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship).
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance – this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
In conclusion – If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
Friday afternoon fun… Part 4
This cat is going to fuck somebody up!
Has anyone seen this cat? Because it is AWESOME!
Fuck you – I'm an anteater!
Bottled water – now available in a can!
Friday afternoon fun… Part 3
Touching wires causes INSTANT DEATH – $200 fine.
HALT – Hammerzeit!
Drugs – doing nothing has never been so amazing!
This dog is like The Fonz. Only he's a dog. How fucking cool is that?
Congratulations – you just beat two trees!
Friday afternoon fun… Part 2
Nomatter what, you will never party this hard!
Parenting – who says it has to be difficult?!
Question: What do you like most in a woman?
Answer: My dick!
Why am I in the water? And wtf is that?!
Friday afternoon fun… Part 1
I may have Alzheimers, but at least I don't have Alzheimers!
Raff out Roud!
Pie chart!
Fuck it, I'm going home.
Phonetic Punctuation by Victor Borge
Really old, but still incredibly funny…
1 in 6 wins fantastic prize!
1 in 6 wins a fantastic prize! … Other 5 get sucker punched.


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Wednesday, August 15, 2012
After spending months or even years away from the classroom, adults may be a bit intimidated by the typical routine of studying, participating in class discussions, writing major research papers and completing semester-long projects. The first time around, students can focus virtually all of their attention on their school tasks, but as an adult, certain other obligations may become a necessity. Taking care of a family and reporting to a full- or part-time job can become just as high - if not higher - on a person's priority list, and can make staying on top of schoolwork a bit more difficult for some adults. To remain focused and excel in healthcare courses with the goal of becoming a massage therapist, students can follow these tips and potentially watch their grades rise.
Get uncomfortable: Though it may sound strange, finding a bit of discomfort in a particular study environment can help students keep their minds on their course notes and textbook material, rather than wondering what's on TV. Those who are settling in for hours of quality course work should steer away from their sweatpants and hoodies and opt for jeans, a collared shirt and a structured desk rather than a cozy couch to sit on. Another way to avoid easy distractions is to stay away from the kitchen - taking a peek at the available goods in the fridge or pantry can seem like a much more enjoyable activity than reading about different muscles and joints in a health textbook. The best place that an adult can study is at a desk where loud distractions and other disruptions are out of sight.
Plan a structured schedule: Whether adults use their iPhones, a traditional planner or a portable tablet, jotting down when and where they will be doing class work can help them organize their lives and ultimately perform better in their courses. Massage therapy students can also keep track of their class schedules with smartphone calendar applications or in their written agendas, reminding them when certain course assignments are due and which readings they should tackle first to stay on top of their work load.
Ask for help: Whether adults seek support from fellow classmates, teachers, family members, coworkers or friends, there are numerous networks that they can use to their advantage when they head back to the classroom.
Students who want to pursue careers in massage therapy and return to the classroom to broaden their training can enroll in the Massage Therapy program at CDI College. For more information, fill out the form on the right.


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A look like no other with a unique floating roof design. Striking thinly-styled LED headlamps and thanks to a V-Motion grille with sharp edge bumper design, the Nissan KICKS offers a look that demands to be seen.
Part of the signature look for KICKS is a unique floating roof design. Blacked out pillars give the impression that the roof is detached from the rest of the vehicle.
See and be seen with boomerang-shaped LED headlamps with automatic and daytime running functionality. Thinly styled for an aggressive look, visibility in all conditions is improved in way that's as stylish as it is functional.
Thanks to revolutionary Nissan Emotional Geometry, a new signature V-Motion grille and sharp edge design bumper update; this crossover SUV looks ready to take over the city, even when standing still.
Spin your own style with 17" alloy wheels which not only look the part, but inspire road confidence and better handling as well. Larger wheel and tyre size means more grip and more confidence to take on the city.
KICKS is full of thoughtful conveniences that make a big difference. Plenty of head room in Nissan Zero Gravity Seats, knee room for rear passengers and multiple smart storage compartments for ultimate convenience. A raised SUV-like driving experience gives you the best world view at all times.
All grades now enjoy armrests, while improvements to seat and door trim materials give an impressively premium feel to vehicle of this size.
Plenty of head room in Nissan Zero Gravity Seats, knee room for rear passengers and multiple smart storage compartments for ultimate convenience. A raised SUV-like driving experience gives you the best view of the road
With the second row folded down, Nissan KICKS is ready to accommodate any activity you can imagine, especially the spur of the moment ones. From shopping sprees to weekend escapes, with this kind of space and flexibility you'll welcome any surprises.
Whether it's for work or play, KICKS offers practicality in abundance. Always up for the task, KICKS offers a low trunk-sill for easier loading of larger, heavier cargo like groceries and travel bags. A detachable cargo cover means that bulkier items can be loaded too, creating ample room to pack it all in.
The Nissan KICKS has been designed to be highly accessible and highly adaptable. A tailgate that opens high enough for you to stand under and a 60/40 split of the rear seats means it's never been easier to make space for more life.
First impressions last, and nothing is more impressive than the KICKS driver cockpit. KICKS retains its distinctive gliding wing dashboard, combining driver functionality with elegance for an ultra-modern, ultra-premium feel.
The unique D-Shaped steering wheel is ergonomically designed to house all the functionality without the fuss. Control the infotainment system and smartphone audio through the Bluetooth® hands-free system, without taking your hands off the wheel.
An upgraded and impressive 7" high definition TFT touch screen display takes centre stage in the KICKS. The latest A-IVI Nissan Infotainment system keeps you connected through seamless smartphone paring to stream your biggest beats to go along with your intense new ride.
People to see? Places to be? Just ask Siri®. Equipped with Siri® voice control, Apple CarPlay® brings on board to your Nissan KICKS your contacts, favourite messaging apps, Apple Music® playlists, Apple Maps, and more. Simply plug in your compatible iPhone® and go. *Where available in SSA.
Know where you're going and when with Android Auto for your KICKS. Google Maps™ helps you navigate to your next appointment, while Google Assistant keeps you on top of your schedule. Choose a song, change your destination, or respond to a text with your hands on the wheel using the hundreds of available voice commands. *Where available in SSA.
Let your KICKS take you out of the city and onto open roads. Take on the highways with ease when you engage Cruise Control. Constant speed and the best fuel economy is achieved to help you get the most out of your KICKS, wherever it may take you.
Start up and drive away with ultimate confidence thanks to technology that prevents against rolling backwards. An acceleration sensor using VDC (Vehicle Dynamic Control) detects when the vehicle is on a slope. Brake pressure is maintained for a maximum of two seconds after the driver releases their foot, allowing for perfect pull-always every time.
Adjust your ideal temperature in the KICKS with electronic climate control.
Performance and efficiency can go hand in hand, and Nissan KICKS is driving proof of it. Even with plenty get-up-and-go, the combination of an advanced engine, lightweight design, and a virtually gearless transmission means the KICKS gets the most out of every drop of fuel. Something its aerodynamic design enhances even further.
The 1.6L engine delivers punchy acceleration with exceptional mileage. Advanced engineering with special coating on the pistons, reduces friction, heat and wear & tear for a longer engine life.
Engine power is harnessed with a sportier than ever, CVT transmission. D-STEP technology features built-in shift points that activate under enthusiastic acceleration so you are always in the right gear at the right time.
You're only human so it's nice to have a little backup when something unexpected happens. From Intelligent Mobility to Safety Shield technologies, the upgraded Nissan KICKS comes packed with a host of safety features designed to protect you and your loved ones on every drive.
KICKS now offers a suite of Intelligent Mobility features to give you more confidence when you need it the most. Around View Monitor (AVM) makes parking a breeze , with a virtual composite 360° bird's-eye view and selectable split-screen close-ups of the front, rear, and curb side views.
Nissan's Intelligent Mobility technologies work behind the scenes to give you extra confidence. Since not all obstacles are stationary (like a shopping trolley), Moving Object Detection helps see what you can't around your KICKS, and warns you about any moving objects before it's too late.
VDC helps you maintain your steered path. When VDC detects over- or understeer, the system can reduce engine power and apply brake pressure to specific wheels in low-traction situations.
When you have to brake suddenly, KICKS' Anti-lock Braking System can pump the brakes faster than you ever could. This helps you maintain control by preventing wheel lockup, which in turn allows you to steer around obstacles in your path.
When a collision is unavoidable, 6 airbags throughout the car includes dual-stage supplemental front, side and roof mounted air bags with seatbelt and occupant sensors for maximum passenger safety.